Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 16,056
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Austin is back and that’s by far the biggest change from last year. He’s been on a warpath after Rikishi and I think HHH for running him down last year. Other than that there isn’t much going on in the Rumble. We also have HHH defending against Angle and Jericho vs. Benoit with twenty minutes and a ladder. I think we’ll have another solid show here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is what you would expect: one out of thirty will win and the rest will fall.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boys

The Canadians have the titles and the Dudleys have concussions. It’s a brawl to start with the champions trying to bail very quickly. We wind up with Edge vs. D-Von to start as the challenger gets two off a neckbreaker. Off to Christian who is elbowed down for two of his own. Bubba comes in as Jerry makes fun of the Dudleys’ injuries. A side slam gets two on Christian and it’s off to D-Von vs. Edge again.

Christian finally goes for the back of D-Von’s injured head to give Edge control and we get into the meat of the match. Christian gets the tag and starts pounding away on D-Von’s head, followed by a neckbreaker from Edge for two. After a quick chinlock Edge hits a neckbreaker for two more as Bubba looks like he’s about to cry. Since it’s a Dudleys match, the fans want tables. Lawler wants gumbo.

D-Von breaks up a spike piledriver for reasons of wanting to stay alive, catapulting Edge into Christian. Edge and D-Von clothesline each other and the referee misses the ensuing hot tag. A Conchairto misses D-Von and there’s the seen hot tag to Bubba. A pair of hot shots takes down a pair of Canadians and there’s a Bubba Bomb to Christian. What’s Up hits Edge but wouldn’t that hurt D-Von’s head even more?

D-Von goes to get a table and the distraction lets Edge get a title belt. Bubba ducks the shot and gets a VERY close two off a rollup. 3D is broken up by a spear to Bubba and a DDT to D-Von but Bubba kicks out again. The champions try What’s Up but the Dudleys escape and the 3D on Edge gives us new champions.

Rating: B. This is one of those annoying matches where it’s really good and therefore there’s nothing to make fun of. These guys had some of the best tag matches the WWF has ever seen and this was no exception, with all four guys looking great out there. Notice something about Edge and Christian and the Hardys: they came from tag teams but they were allowed to grow up in said tag teams, meaning once they made the transition to singles matches they had a far easier time. That NEVER happens today which is why tag teams don’t make good singles wrestlers anymore. The crowd is white hot tonight too.

Drew Carey is here. He’s promoting an improv comedy PPV and somehow got in the WWE HOF out of it.

Vince says Austin will be in the Rumble despite what happened on Smackdown with HHH. What actually happened isn’t mentioned but whatever.

HHH tells Stephanie to not come to the ring with her tonight but she says she’ll be there to take care of Trish. Drew Carey comes in and pleasantries are exchanged. He talks about meeting Kamala in an airport and plugs his PPV a bit. Drew seems cool here at least. Stephanie offers to introduce him to Trish for some reason.

The APA shows each other their Rumble numbers. Crash comes in and says he’ll throw them both out even though they’re friends.

We recap Jericho vs. Benoit. Do you really need an explanation here? They suplex each other a lot and fight over the IC Title so tonight it’s a ladder match with Benoit defending. Oh and Benoit has hurt Jericho’s arm.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

It’s a slugout to start with Jericho getting a very early advantage. Benoit tries the Crossface but has to escape the Walls instead. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post before missing the springboard dropkick and crashing to the floor. Benoit posts him and goes for the ladder but stops to send Jericho into the steps. We’re only three minutes into the match though so Jericho stops Benoit’s climb. A ladder shot to the face puts Benoit down and the referee tells them they have thirteen minutes left.

Jericho lays the ladder across the top rope and of course goes face first into it as a result. Good to see that even Canadians follow the first law of wrestling. Benoit tries a suicide dive but Jericho puts up a chair, causing Benoit massive head trauma. Jericho tries to ride the ladder from the apron onto Benoit on the barricade but the other Chris moves out of the way. A ladder to the face stops Jericho again and now Benoit swings a chair.

Back in and Benoit loads up a ladder in the corner before ramming Jericho face first into it. Jericho gets up and puts the ladder in the corner again before tying Benoit’s legs between the rungs for a kind of Russian legsweep off the middle rope. Benoit comes right back with a dropkick to send the ladder into Jericho’s face and a hard belly to back suplex. The ladder is placed on the top rope again and Benoit’s face is whipped into it HARD. Jericho immediately follows up by see-sawing the ladder into Benoit’s face. Almost every one of these shots would be classified as FREAKING OW MAN.

A missile dropkick puts Benoit down again but he saves a climb attempt by Jericho. Benoit suplexes Jericho out to the floor and both guys are down again. Benoit goes up again but has to stop to kick Jericho away. Jericho gets up anyway and bends Benoit backwards into the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER. Benoit falls on his head but still kicks the ladder over to stop Jericho. AWESOME sequence there.

Jericho drills him with the ladder and goes up, but Benoit immediately pulls him down into the Crossface. Jericho taps out but it means nothing other than pleasure for Benoit here. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post but Jericho comes back by sending Benoit face first into the ladder. The ladder is moved to the corner and both guys climb, resulting in Jericho being superplexed back down.

The Swan Dive hits the mat though and Benoit is in big trouble. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit’s ribs, but the champion shoves it over anyway from the mat, sending Jericho face first into the buckle and out to the floor. Benoit goes up again but gets shoved out to the floor, allowing Jericho to sprint up the ladder and win the title.

Rating: A+. Take two Canadians, give them a ladder and 19 minutes and this is what you should expect. These two beat on each other HARD and the match was excellent as a result. They came up with some new stuff while mixing in basic stuff like HIT THE GUY IN THE FACE WITH A LADDER but it was so intense that it became a classic. Check this one out.

Drew hits on Trish but she says no because she’s involved with someone. Vince comes in and isn’t exactly cool with Drew being around Trish. More PPV plugging ensues and Vince says to promote the PPV, Drew should be in the Royal Rumble. Drew says sure why not.

Billy Gunn is worried about Chyna hurting her neck again in the next match.

Jericho says he proved Benoit wrong.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The RTC (Ivory’s censorship group) hurt Chyna’s neck with a spike piledriver and tonight is about revenge. This forces us to sit through Chyna trying to be emotional.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending here. Chyna immediately runs her over with a pair of clotheslines and a toss around by the hair. Stomping ensues and Chyna knocks her out to the floor. They head into the crowd so Chyna gorilla presses her right back to ringside. Back in and Steven Richards gets beaten up as well. In an ending to set up Wrestlemania, Chyna tries the Muta Handspring Elbow but hurts her neck (on the softest bump in the corner you’ll see in years) and Ivory gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Ivory was squashed until the end when she won off an injury. What are you expecting from a match like this? This was designed to get more attention on Chyna because no female could conceivably beat her, so making her Women’s Champion for her Playboy hype wouldn’t do much good. Nothing to see here at all unless you’re a fan of Chyna in leather.

Chyna gets looked at by Lawler, Gunn and medics, resulting in a stretcher job.

Trish and Stephanie run into each other and still don’t get along. I can’t decide if Chyna or Stephanie is a worse actress.

Drew Carey gets some gear and talks to Kane. Nothing funny is said and much glaring ensues.

Low Down, as in Headbanger Mosh and D’Lo Brown doing an Arab comedy gimmick (don’t ask) is told that the Rumble spot they won earlier on Heat will be going to Drew Carey. See, THIS is a good use of a celebrity. Who cares if Mosh or Brown isn’t in the Rumble? Carey isn’t exactly a huge star, but he’s more interesting than either of those two. He promotes his PPV, the WWF gets some publicity, life is good.

Fans at WWF New York talk about the world title match.

HHH breathes a lot.

We recap Angle vs. HHH. Angle is on the roll of a lifetime to begin a career, having won the title from the Rock and defended it against Undertaker. HHH got the shot through some corruption and says he’s allowed Angle to be champion this long. Trish is playing both sides of the field, being in Kurt’s corner tonight but obviously sleeping with Vince, who is on HHH’s side at the moment. Stephanie couldn’t act, but dang she looked good in leather pants while she argued with Trish.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Angle taking it to the mat before HHH takes it to the corner. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor as things slow down early. Back in and Angle escapes a suplex and hits three of his own for a near fall. HHH bails tot he floor and gets punched for his efforts, but he manages to send Angle into the barricade to slow things down.

Back in and HHH takes Angle to the mat which isn’t likely his best option. Since it’s a HHH match, we go old school with an Indian Deathlock. A dragon screw leg whip puts Angle down again but as he loads up another one, Angle takes him down with an enziguri for two. Kurt comes back with a whip to send HHH over the corner and out to the floor. This is slow to start but they have a ton of time.

They slug it out on the floor and HHH goes into the steps. Angle punches him around a bit more until a Stephanie distraction lets HHH crack Angle’s knee with a chair. Still good psychology so far and I’m digging the pace. We get our first Flair move as HHH hits a knee crusher onto the steps. They head back inside after about three minutes on the floor and HHH cranks on the knee even more.

Off to an inverted Indian Deathlock because we can’t quite reach the 80s yet. The facebuster gets two for HHH and it’s time for a bad looking Figure Four, although at least it’s on the correct leg. Trish interferes to try to break it up and we get a catfight on the Spanish announce table. Vince comes down to break it up as we completely stop watching the match. Vince carries Trish away but Stephanie pulls her off her dad’s shoulder. We haven’t seen anything in the ring for about two minutes now.

We FINALLY return to the match for a small package for two for Angle before it’s back to the knee. HHH gets kicked into the buckle and Angle grabs a DDT for two. A Russian legsweep looks to set up the moonsault but HHH hits him low to block. HHH busts out a Razor’s Edge out of the corner of all things for two. I’ve never seen him use that other than here. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot into the post and Angle headbutts HHH in the crotch to boot.

Now the moonsault hits (I’m as shocked as you are) but he hurts his knee in the process. It only gets two as a result and Angle heads to the floor to walk his knee out. HHH dives off the apron and takes out Hebner by mistake. Angle goes into the post and we head back in where Angle runs the ropes (selling the knee? What’s that?) for an armdrag off the top. Angle tries to get Hebner up but HHH rams Angle into Hebner, sending Earl into the steps as a result.

HHH grabs the belt but Angle counters into an overhead belly to belly. Now Kurt gets the belt but HHH blocks into a Pedigree for no cover. Austin runs out and beats on HHH before hitting him in the face with the belt. He throws Hebner back inside but Angle is still down. A Stunner puts the bloody HHH down and Angle gets a VERY delayed pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was good but the overbooking brings it way down. Basically you have two matches here with the dividing line being the Vince/girls stuff. The match was starting off as a great psychological battle and it turned into an Attitude Era main event which it just didn’t need to be. This was disappointing after the way the match started.

Rikishi (#30) and Undertaker warm up for the Rumble.

Rock talks about how the Rumble is like a big bowl of jambalaya. As for Kane and Undertaker possibly being together, he doesn’t really care if they want to give each other a box of chocolates or kick each others’ faces in, because Rocky is throwing them both out. It could come down to Rock vs. Bull Buchanan, Rock vs. Perry Saturn, or Rock vs. Steve Austin, but either way he’s going to Wrestlemania. Rocky was feeling it here.

Rumble hype video, where there are a legit high number of possible winners. Austin is the favorite but it’s not 100% as long as Rocky is in there. This is also one of the last years where they really pushed the idea that ANYONE could win.

Royal Rumble

Jeff Hardy is #1 and Bull Buchanan is #2. Bull charges into the ring and the beating is on fast. Jeff fights back and goes up top before hitting a headscissors. The intervals are two minutes again this year if you care about those kinds of things. They slug it out in the corner with no one getting an advantage until Matt Hardy is #3. Poetry in Motion and a double clothesline quickly dispatch Bull, so the Hardys fight for a while.

The clock starts so the Hardys stop brawling as Faarooq is #4. Things don’t go any better for Faarooq than they did for Buchanan, resulting in a Twist of Fate and Swanton to knock him out as well. Jeff poses and Matt tries to dump him, resulting in some friction. Matt wins a slugout but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. Drew Carey is #5 and he wisely stands at ringside as the Hardys eliminate each other off the corner.

Drew is the only one left standing and the crowd seems amused. Then Kane is #6. JR: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.” Drew begs the Hardys to get back in as Kane stalks him. After about a minute, Kane gets in and Drew offers a handshake and then cash. Kane grabs Drew by the throat until Raven is #7. Drew wisely eliminates himself, high fives some fans and bails. This was perfectly fine as he was in there like 3 minutes and gave us a decently funny moment. Also he seemed to enjoy being there which is more than I can say for most celebrities. Good stuff.

Anyway, Raven pounds on Kane with a kendo stick and a fire extinguisher blast. Al Snow jumps the gun at #8 to pound on Raven who eliminated him recently. Snow legally comes in a few seconds later with trashcans and lids, followed by a bowling ball which goes into Raven’s crotch. Big gasp from the crowd for that one. JR: “It looks like a hurricane has blown through New Orleans.”

Snow and Raven pound away on Kane with everything they can find before FINALLY taking him down with a double drop toehold into a trashcan. Perry Saturn is #9 and goes after Kane’s knee which is pretty stupid in a battle royal. Everyone takes their shots at Kane and some triple teaming finally gets him to his knees. Steve Blackman with his hardcore fighting sticks is #10 as the hardcore segment continues.

Things slow down a bit as they are known to do in hardcore matches until Grandmaster Sexay is #11. Kane finds a trashcan and explodes, eliminating everyone in about thirty seconds. Honky Tonk Man, Lawler’s second straight relative, is #12. He brings his guitar and starts to sing until Kane destroys the guitar over his head and gets his sixth elimination in a row.

Kane is standing tall so here’s the Rock at #13 for our first big showdown. Rock goes off with punches and a jumping clothesline but Kane blocks the elimination attempt. Rock keeps pounding but runs into a big boot to put him down. Goodfather is #14 and Rock eliminates him after two punches. Kane pounds him down again, prompting JR to say “Kane is a carnivore chewing on a big piece of Rock Burger.” Lawler: “…..Rock Burger?” Tazz is #15 and lasts even less time than Goodfather.

Rock and Kane slug it out for a bit until Rock hits a Samoan Drop. Both guys are down until Bradshaw is #16. He’s cool with fighting both guys and hits the Clothesline on Rock. Rock comes back with the spinebuster but Kane clotheslines Rock down to take over again. Albert is #17 to keep up the size and power trend. Albert and Bradshaw pair off as do the other two guys but we can’t get an elimination.

Hardcore Holly is #18 as Albert hits the chokebomb on Bradshaw. A bicycle kick from Albert puts Kane down in a pretty impressive looking move. Rock tries do dump Kane but the dude in the mask stays in. K-Kwik (R-Truth) is #19 and is immediately slammed down by Bradshaw. Nothing of note happens until Val Venis is #20. The ring is getting full now with Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, K-Kwik and Venis.

Rock powerslams Kwik down and William Regal is #21. He also beats up Kwik who isn’t having a good night so far. Nothing of note happens again until Test is #22. He immediately knocks out Regal before pounding away on Albert. Big Show makes his return from a trip to OVW to try (and fail) to lose weight. He clotheslines Test out and dumps Kwik as well. Everyone not named Rock gets chokeslammed as Rock kicks Show low and eliminates him for the second year in a row.

As Crash Holly is #24, Big Show seemingly turns heel and chokeslams Rock through the announce table. Everyone goes after Kane and Undertaker is #25, meaning it’s finally time to get rid of some of these guys. The Brothers clear the ring other than the two of them and Rock left on the floor. The tall guys stare each other down and Scotty 2 Hotty is #26. Not exactly the brightest guy in the world, Scotty gets inside and is gone in about 45 seconds.

Austin is #27 but HHH runs out to avenge the earlier interference. Rock climbs in as the Brothers watch Austin get beaten up on the floor. Austin is busted open as Taker beats on Rock off camera. Billy Gunn is #28 to save Rock for some reason. Taker DDTs Rock down as HHH leaves. Haku, as in Meng, the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion, is #29. He goes right for Taker and pounds him into the corner and everyone pairs off. Rikishi is #30, giving us a final group of Rikishi, Haku, Rock, Austin, Undertaker, Kane and Billy Gunn.

Rikishi gets in a fight with Austin on the floor and everyone is in the ring now. Austin dumps Haku as Taker ERUPTS on Rikishi. A chokeslam puts Rikishi down but a pair of headbutts go badly for the Dead Man. Rikishi superkicks Undertaker out in a pretty big upset. As impressive as that was for him, he tries the Banzai Drop on Rock and deserves the elimination he gets.

We’re down to four with Kane, Austin, Rock and Gunn. Gee I wonder which one is going out first. Gunn escapes the Stunner and hits the Fameasser on Austin but gets thrown out anyway a few seconds later. Rock DDTs Kane down as Austin chills in the corner. Rock and Austin lock eyes and the fight is on. That’s Wrestlemania people. The spit punch drops a weakened Austin but he escapes the Rock Bottom. The Stunner hits but Austin stops to go after Kane and charges into a Rock Bottom.

Kane gets back up and gets sent through the ropes by Rock, leaving Rock vs. Austin for the moment. They slug it out some more and fight for an elimination, but Kane comes back in and dumps Rock in a shocker. That also gives Kane the record for most eliminations in a Rumble at 11. Austin kicks Kane low to put both guys down and Kane bails to the floor. Kane brings in a chair but walks into a Stunner. About four chair shots and a clothesline send Austin to the main event of the best show ever.

Rating: B+. It’s not as good as last year but it was awesome for the most part with some BIG star power out there. They did a great job of keeping you guessing until the end as Rocky winning here was a very legitimate possibility. Austin is back from his surgery and back where he was before, which is exactly what he needed to do. Very good Rumble with some nice surprises.

Overall Rating: A. While it’s not quite as great as last year, this is pretty easily the second best Rumble so far. The ladder match is excellent and the Rumble is quite good as well. The world title match is great too and there’s a solid opening tag match on top of that. The Women’s Title match sucks but it’s less than four minutes long. Great show again, but things would be coming down soon.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boys vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-

Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A

Redo: A+

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

I’m surprised that I liked it that much less last time. Still a great show.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2001-drew-carey-could-go-to-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: August 19, 1999
Location: Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,928
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Despite it being 1999, we’re somehow watching Sid Vicious Championship Wrestling. This past week on Nitro was all about Sid running in and ruining as many matches as he could before losing the main event by DQ. Somehow this means he’s still undefeated before we get to his showdown with Goldberg to end this streak once and for all. Other than that, we’re building up to Sting vs. Hogan on Nitro on just seven days notice, as opposed to their big match which had fifteen months. Sign of the times indeed. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the new streak (my apologies to RD Evans) which now stands at 61-0.

Silver King vs. Psychosis

Just have him come out right now. King dives at Psychosis and grabs a quick DDT to put Psychosis down. He tries the same thing again but gets caught in the corner, allowing Psychosis to knock him down for a legdrop. The announcers talking about Sid really doesn’t give me much hope for this match’s future. King gets sent out to the floor for a suicide dive but he doesn’t seem to notice all that much. Back in and King plants him with a tilt-a-whirl slam before stopping to dance. Psychosis avoids a moonsault and yeah here’s Sid for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Why do I even bother watching these matches if they just exist for the one main event idea WCW has going on right now? Psychosis and Silver King are just out there wasting time until Sid comes out to do his thing. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but Silver King wasn’t the best choice to carry a match.

Sid gets on the mic and says this is all because of Goldberg because he wants to be mentioned along with Babe Ruth and Michael Jordan. He’s going to “shake all over” when he reaches Goldberg’s mark. We’re not done with him tonight are we?

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Al Greene vs. Shane Douglas

So now the Revolution gets to rise up above jobbers who somehow once got a World Title shot. Feeling out process to start as they trade arm holds until Greene charges into boots in the corner. Douglas suplexes him down and slaps on a quickly broken chinlock. They head outside for a bit with Greene going into the barricade. I’m sure Shane is so glad he stopped being ECW World Champion to do matches like this one. Back in and we hit another chinlock as I guess Shane is spent after three minutes of work. Greene fights up but eats a clothesline, setting up the Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin.

Rating: D. I’ve never been a fan of Douglas and this really didn’t change my opinion. I really don’t know why I’m supposed to be cheering for him in the first place. He popped up and decided he was part of the Revolution and now he’s on Benoit, Saturn and Malenko’s level? It doesn’t help that he really isn’t on their level in the ring and is just there as a talker.

The West Texas Rednecks will have a new video on Nitro.

Here’s Rick Steiner for a chat. Gene says all of the Revolution wants a shot at the TV Title, but Steiner instead threatens to beat up the Revolution’s mothers. No one can out smart him (well heels are supposed to lie) so tonight there’s an open challenge for any member of the Revolution. Steiner is going to kill one of them isn’t he?

Video on Coach Buzz Stern, which is Glacier in a stupid high school coach gimmick. He’s really tough you see.

Steven Regal/David Taylor/Chris Adams vs. Dave Burkhead/Bobby Blaze/Adrian Byrd

Regal takes Burkhead (I’ve never heard of him either) down to start before bringing Taylor in for a European uppercut and a tag off to Adams. The Brits are moving fast tonight, likely so Sid doesn’t come in and powerbomb them all. Adams and Regal cheat like all evil Englishmen before Chris enziguris Burkhead to the floor. Riveting stuff so far. Regal peppers him with more uppercuts and allows Dave to tag off to Blaze. We get the old spot of Blaze trying a sunset flip and Regal grabbing his partner, only to have Robinson kick the arms apart to give Bobby two.

Taylor beats up Byrd for a bit and the Brits start fast tagging again. Byrd gets choked on the mat by Regal’s knee as Taylor comes in for even more uppercuts. No wonder that move became so common. Blaze tries to come in like the jobber schnook that he is, allowing Byrd to be dragged back to the corner. The sequence is so good that they do it again on the floor…..as Rick Steiner and Sid come out to destroy the jobbers.

Rating: C-. I was kidding when I said they were hurrying before Sid came out! So far, the only thing on this show not related to Sid or Steiner has been the Al Greene match, or about five minutes of the entire show. How can they sit through the meetings setting up this show and think this is the best course of action? I know it’s just a six man squash, but did they really need to do this again? You know Sid isn’t done tonight either.

Sid powerbombs everyone and has Robinson count pins, TWICE. Apparently they represent Goldberg, Hogan and Sting as Sid wants to stand beside Steiner. This is one of the main stories in WCW right now people. Over in WWF we were seeing the rise of HHH to the top of the company, but WCW is offering Sid and Steiner destroying the world.

Berlyn is coming. Sid will powerbomb him too.

Here’s the Revolution with something to say. Douglas takes charge and asks the fans if they’re ready to see a change in WCW. The people in the back are shaking in their boots over these guys and it’s time to take this company back. Saturn promises to beat Steiner tonight and he won’t even have to bite him to get there.

Cruiserweight Title: Lenny Lane vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rematch from Monday when Sid interfered. Before the match, Mysterio tells Lenny to tell his boyfriend to ride the Hershey highway all the way back to the funny farm. I’m stunned that didn’t get the gimmick shelved. A series of standing switches starts things off and of course Lenny starts liking it.

Rey hurricanranas him into the ropes and a big suicide dive puts Lenny into the barricade. Back in and the West Coast Pop is dropkicked out of the air, followed by a faceplant for two. Lenny hits a shoulder breaker into a powerslam for two more as Rey is in trouble. Lane is similar to Disco: talented in the ring but no one can see past the gimmick to see how good he is. Lenny prances around the ring and gets sunset flipped for two, only to whip Rey chest first into the buckle.

We go very old school with an airplane spin but Lane is dizzy too. So he’s not only an over the top stereotype but he’s also stupid. Lane goes up top but gets staggered and falls backwards into an atomic drop. He sells it harder than Honky Tonk Man ever dreamed of and backs into referee Johnny Boone in the corner, freaking Boone out because homophobia is funny you see.

Lodi comes in right next to the referee because being homophobic also seems to make you blind. The champ easily dispatches Lodi but stops to pose on the ropes. A guillotine legdrop sends Lenny to the floor and Lodi gets drop toeholded into Lenny’s crotch. Back in and Lenny gets two off a Skull Crushing Finale. He sends Rey into Lodi so they bang heads, allowing Lenny to roll Rey up for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The worst part of this is that it was a good match. Lane was a good worker but he’s stuck in this horrible and offensive gimmick and that’s all people are going to remember. I’m so glad Rey finally lost the title because he never defends the thing and the rest of the division is just stuck fighting each other for no prize. Good match, but the spot with the referee was horrible.

The Filthy Animals come out to say “sorry bro. We should have been here to help you but we were too busy trying to understand Konnan’s catchphrases.”

Fall Brawl is coming.

Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Scott Norton/Horace

Heat is defending of course. Norton shoves Booker around and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Arm holds go nowhere so it’s off to Stevie for a slam on Horace as we take a break. Back with Booker sending Horace into Norton’s boot and nailing him with the ax kick, only to have Norton keep him from the corner. The slow pace continues as Norton beats Booker down with whatever combination of clotheslines and chops he can come up with. Horace comes back in and breaks up a sunset flip with a rake to the face before tagging back out. This man is getting a paycheck for this work people.

The challengers slowly hammer away on Booker as this is starting to drag. Booker rolls out of Norton’s powerbomb attempt and gets ax handled down to keep him in trouble. Never the brightest guys in the world, Norton and Horace try a double clothesline and get forearmed in the head, allowing for the hot tag to Stevie. Ray cleans house and everything breaks down with Horace planting Stevie with a side slam and splash, but Nick Patrick is with the other two. Everyone gets back in and Stevie whips Horace into Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really dull by the end as you knew Horace and Norton weren’t taking the belts and they didn’t have the most thrilling offense. Hopefully they’re done with this Harlem Heat vs. the NWO nonsense soon as it’s a waste of whatever Harlem Heat can do. The match could have been worse, but it was just such dull stuff.

Berlyn is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last hour.

Here’s the First Family with something to say. Hart wants them to win the Tag Team Titles and Flynn actually says the First Family needs no introduction. That would be because no one wants to see them introduced but that’s another story. Barbarian rambles about something that I can’t comprehend a single word of and Knobbs/Morrus issue a challenge for the titles next week.

TV Title: Saturn vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is defending because WCW lived in a random and chaotic universe. Rick actually does something worthwhile by telling security to throw out a fan that tossed a drink at him. Pesky twerp. The champ drives him to the ropes and hammers away to start and nails a big Steiner Line. It’s already time for the choking because the right hands and the Steiner Line are about all he’s got to start.

Saturn ducks another Steiner Line and kicks him to the floor for some swearing from the champ. Back in and Rick drives him into the corner and chokes even more because Steiner doesn’t know how to do anything else. They head outside with Steiner whipping him into the barricade and steps as we take a break. We really have to come back to this destruction for the sake of pushing Rick Steiner?

Back with Steiner in control because he’s not going to sell like these young schmucks. He rakes Saturn’s eyes and DDTs him before putting on something like a surfboard. Saturn fights up with a neckbreaker and kick to the face, followed by some right hands to the face. Not that it matters as Sid comes out to shove Saturn into a belly to belly for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was a Steiner squash with a thirty second comeback before Sid came out for the DQ. I’ve ranted enough about WCW sacrificing the rest of the entire roster for the sake of pushing Sid and Steiner for whatever reason, so let’s complain about the young guys getting beaten up by Steiner. Does WCW really think that Steiner is the future of this company instead of someone like Saturn? I know Saturn isn’t the second coming of Steve Austin but he’s probably going to be more valuable than Rick “I can’t do anything more than choke and clothesline” Steiner. At least he is in a logical mindset, which isn’t where WCW shines.

Benoit comes out for the save and issues a challenge for next week before the old guys charge and get dispatched. Sid promises to pin both guys twice next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The weird thing here was they actually treated Thunder like something that mattered. We have two matches set up for next week and a title changed hands. When does that EVER happen on Nitro, let alone Thunder? Unfortunately the good things here were dragged down by Sid interfering in literally half the matches. If you get that down to one match at most and keep having things actually matter on this show (and I don’t mean a PPV main event match every week. The stuff they had here was fine), it feels SO much more important and therefore easier to sit through. Just get rid of Sid though. Please.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #201
Date: August 16, 1999
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Attendance: 7,218
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Road Wild has come and gone and thank goodness for that. It was three hours of bad wrestling with nothing happening and a bunch of celebrities not making enough of a splash to validate taking the spots from the other guys. We’re heading towards Fall Brawl now and I can’t imagine that show being any worse than Road Wild. Somehow I have a feeling I’ll be surprised though. Let’s get to it.

Tony is immediately praising Hogan for his glorious win Saturday. He also throws in that Sid is now 55-0 since returning. I’m guessing the idea is parodying Goldberg’s streak going so high so fast, because why shouldn’t they mock something they came up with and got over so strong? Sid gets a World Title shot tonight.

Stills of Sid beating Sting at the PPV, leading into this match.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Lash LeRoux

They trade crowd reactions to start and I don’t think most of them know who LeRoux is. Feeling out process to start with Lash dropping down into the splits and nailing Juvy with a clothesline. As thrilling as this is, the announcers mention that we’re getting Rick Steiner vs. Brian Knobbs for the TV Title tonight. There are no words. Anyway Juvy loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into a powerbomb which is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence. I won’t bother telling you who gets the last near fall as Sid comes in to chokeslam Juvy and powerbomb Lash twice.

Sid wants a double cheeseburger with onions. Or maybe Goldberg. You never can tell with his interviews.

Steve Regal vs. Scotty Riggs

Regal knocks him back with a European uppercut, Riggs knees him into the corner, Sid comes down for the usual power moves for the no contest.

Hogan vs. Nash video.

Mike Enos vs. Cat

Miller guarantees victory in less than four minutes. I see no computer or Terri to say that’s correct so I don’t buy this stat. Instead of running away to prove Cat wrong, Enos goes right after him with a clothesline and a very nice powerslam. Despite being a heel, he asks if the fans want to see him punch Miller in the face, allowing Cat to nail him in the throat. Now I know this might shock you, but Cat fires off a bunch of kicks and Enos comes back with a series of generic power moves, including a clothesline and press slam. Sonny offers a distraction and Miller hits a big kick for the pin at 3:39.

Rating: D. Sid run-in, Sid run-in, Cat match. That’s their big way to make us care after the mess at Road Wild. Also, no Bagwell for his revenge after Miller attacked him after their match on Saturday. I do however like Enos as a power guy who does a simple job but does it well. He isn’t going anywhere of course, but he’s a good choice for a match like this, which went about as high as it was going to.

Berlyn is coming.

We cut to the back where Sid is beating up Silver King and La Parka, including powerbombing La Parka onto a bag of popcorn.

Cruiserweight Title: Lenny vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Mysterio is defending for the first time in months. No contact for the first minute and Lenny keeps dancing at Mysterio to play some mind games. He offers Lodi a hug and the champion nails him with a forearm. A reverse powerbomb gets two for Lenny but Rey sends him to the floor and takes Lodi out, only to have Lenny go up for a big corkscrew dive. The fans are actually shocked as that might be the first time Lenny has ever hit a big move. They’re also stunned that Sid comes in AGAIN to lay out all three guys, giving Rey the DQ win.

Sting comes out for the save with Hogan limping behind him. The superheroes clean house and Hogan says Sting can have a title shot next week if he retains the title tonight.

Public Enemy vs. Insane Clown Posse

We’re officially in ECW. We have to be. No other major company could possibly think this is an acceptable idea to air on national television. Raven (in his last television appearance with WCW before walking out when Bischoff offered anyone a release) wants to know where his pyro is. The Clowns jump Public Enemy while they’re stacking tables but are easily knocked to the floor. It’s Shaggy in trouble first with Grunge elbowing him low before a double tag brings in J. and Rocco.

The Violent Clown elbows the Flyboy (I feel like an idiot typing that) before it’s back to Grunge. Raven grabs Johnny’s foot so J. can…..well Tony called it a clothesline but it looked more like Luger’s running forearm smash. Grunge comes back with a double clothesline and the hot tag brings in Rocco to really clean house. A top rope hurricanrana plants Shaggy and it’s table time. Of course Rocco overshoots the table and barely drives Shaggy through it, almost completely missing the bottom table. Not that it matters as the referee gets taken out, allowing Vampiro to Nail Grunge in his Coffin, giving J. the pin.

Rating: D-. Public Enemy isn’t the best team ever. I don’t think it’s a stretch to call them one of the least technically sound mainstream tag teams of all time. The key thing though is they’re actual wrestlers. They’ve been trained and have some experience, but still aren’t all that great. However, they make the Clowns look like the Steiner Brothers circa 1991 because the Clowns aren’t wrestlers. They’re as qualified to be wrestlers as 7 year olds pretending to be police are qualified to patrol the streets. At least the Filthy Animals could carry a match, but this was horrible.

DJ Ran is back. Joy.

Nitro Girls. A bit more actual joy.

Here’s Harlem Heat in street clothes for a chat. They’re back together after Stevie got tired of being with four “fruit booties who couldn’t get the job done.” An open challenge is issues and Booker promises to “turn this mutha out.” I really think this speaks for itself.

Berlyn is here in two weeks.

We get what’s left of the Black and White for the first time in a good while. Horace accepts the challenge for tonight, which actually makes sense for a change. Norton promises to take care of Stevie Ray. Adams says he and Vincent will challenge Harlem Heat tonight….and the team beats him down for no apparent reason, ripping the t-shirt off his back.

Okerlund brings out Kidman for a chat and calls him a chick magnet. Gene Okerlund should not know what a chick is. Kidman says that he, Konnan, Guerrero and Mysterio are a bunch of filthy animals that love to party and chase the chicks (it sounds better coming from him). In a TOTALLY spontaneous line that is in no way designed to set up the next match, Gene asks if Kidman has seen the Nitro Girls pay per view. Of course he has and Kimberly is his favorite Nitro Girl. Cue DDP to start spelling respect before he slaps Kidman in the face and plants him with a spinning Rock Bottom.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kidman

A snapmare sends Kidman across the ring and Page slowly stomps away. An elbow drop with some shouts to the fans (the People if you will) gets two for Page but Kidman snaps off a headscissors. That’s the extent of his offense for now though as Page kicks the knee out to kill the crowd again. The helicopter bomb plants him again but Page pulls up at two. Tony forgets the name of the referee Page laid out at Road Wild and just trails off in the middle of his sentence. That might be better for all of us. Page loads up a fireman’s carry for the Diamond Cutter but Kidman spins out into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match but they still managed to be dull in the process. Kidman was treated like a guy way out of his league here, continuing this stupid idea that cruiserweights are nothing compared to the bigger guys. I’m assuming this leads to the Triad vs. the Animals, which wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. It’s not a good idea mind you but it could be worse.

Page Diamond Cuts both guys to negate the upset. Kimberly has to come out and call Page off.

Here’s the Disco Inferno to declare himself a superstar, a sex symbol and an icon. The Filthy Animals have been calling him every day because he’s the future of this company. Cue Benoit to say prove it.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Disco Inferno

Benoit immediately takes him down with a hard chop and the big belly to back suplex. A dropkick puts Disco down again and Benoit is on a roll. The Crossface sends Disco running to the floor and the fans are all fired up for the first time all night. Back in and Disco nails his swinging neckbreaker and clothesline, followed by the middle rope elbow and Russian legsweep.

They head outside with Benoit going into the steps, but Disco stops to dance. You can’t say he isn’t dedicated. He sends the champ into the barricade and gets in a bit more dancing. Back in and Benoit flips out of a belly to back suplex before planting him with a German suplex. Disco’s Last Dance is countered and the Three Amigos knock Disco sillier (but doesn’t mess with a bit of that hair). Benoit Swan Dives him to retain the title.

Rating: C+. As usual, when you give Disco the right opponent, he can pull off a pretty decent match. I was hoping for one of those jumping piledrivers to really make this close, but what else can you ask for from a five minute match on a show featuring celebrity clowns? It’s also nice to see Benoit survive his first title defense as this company wouldn’t shock me if they jobbed him out immediately.

Goldberg vs. Barry Windham

All of the Rednecks but Hennig are out with Barry. Goldberg beats up all of the seconds and pins Barry in thirty seconds with the usual. Well he’s back.

KISS is still coming. They’re seriously going through with it.

Horace/Vincent/Scott Norton vs. Harlem Heat

Non-title. Stevie throws Vincent around to start but botches a press slam, nearly dropping Vincent on his face. It’s off to Norton vs. Booker with Stevie staying in for a double back elbow. That’s it for Flash as he brings in Horace. You know, I remember about three years ago when Hall, Nash and Hogan were taking over the company and wrestling world. Somehow that’s evolved into this trio fighting in a dull tag match and getting beaten up 3-2. Booker drops Horace with kicks but goes after Vincent to give Horace a breather.

That’s enough of the talent though so it’s back to Stevie who kicks Horace in the face. Why overcomplicate the offense? The cheap excuses for the NWO get in some cheap shots from the apron, allowing Horace to take over with a DDT. A big shoulder sends Stevie down and the NWO starts taking turns. Norton loads up the powerbomb but here’s Brian Adams for the save. The referee, not even distracted, doesn’t do anything about the interference as Adams cleans house. In the melee, Booker missile dropkicks Horace to give Stevie the pin.

Rating: D+. So let me get this straight. Booker T. and Stevie Ray, perhaps the most successful WCW tag team of all time, freshly reunited and the new Tag Team Champions, needed help to beat Horace, Vincent and Norton? Also, we’re supposed to care about Brian Adams all of a sudden? At least this should lead to the end of the Black and White. They just need to be put out to pasture at this point anyway. By this point I mean a year and a half ago of course.

The camera follows Adams as he gets into a limo with a KISS license plate. It’s bad enough that they had to do these stupid celebrity appearances but now we have to give them stories?

TV Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Rick Steiner

Again I say let’s get this over with. It’s a brawl to start with Steiner dropping him with an early Steiner Line. They’re quickly to the choking before the brawl heads outside. Rick upgrades his choking with the dog collar before they head back inside for another Steiner Line. So far, if you count punches and kicks, Steiner is at four moves. Brian slams him down but his middle rope splash hits leg. I’ve always thought that would hurt the leg as much as the guy trying the splash. Hart offers a distraction with the collar but Brian is sent into him, setting up the Steiner Bulldog (hey he hit five!) to avenge Wrestlemania VII and retain.

Rating: D-. Of all the people they have in this company, BRIAN KNOBBS got a TV Title shot? You couldn’t throw some low level schmuck out there who might be able to do a single decent looking move? This may be a stretch, but Brian may be a worse illustration of nepotism than David Flair. At least with Flair there might have been some potential there, but everyone knew what they were getting with Knobbs but his friendship with Hogan kept getting him work.

Nitro Girls. Tony asks why Heenan never applauds them. Heenan: “It’s impossible to clap with one hand.” First, no it isn’t. Second…..I need a minute.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Saturn

The big bald guy drops Saturn with some early clotheslines but gets kicked outside, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back in and Bigelow just launches Saturn across the ring because Bigelow is old and therefore doesn’t have to sell. He charges into a boot in the corner though and fires off right hands, only to be shoved into the referee. Saturn nails an AJ Styles style springboard forearm and nails a decent t-bone suplex. Cue Kanyon (why couldn’t this be Kanyon vs. Saturn? Too entertaining a prospect?) to shove Saturn into a bearhug, but Shane Douglas comes out to shove Kanyon onto both of them, giving Saturn a pin.

Rating: D+. I know they’ve taken their time getting here but the Revolution finally seems to be taking hold. Benoit winning the title and getting to defend it in a pretty solid match was a good sign and they even won a match over an older guy. I have zero confidence that it’s going to last, but at least it worked for one night.

Benoit and Malenko come out to save Saturn from a beatdown.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Hulk Hogan

No word on what Sid’s record is after after all those beatings but he jumps the champ at the bell. Hearing Heenan suck up to Hogan continues to disgust me. If Hogan can be the same character he was in the 80s, why can’t the Brain? Well other than a complete lack of caring that it. Sid very slowly stomps on Hulk and drops a leg, sending Hogan popping back up to his feet. Ever the lunkhead, Sid stands in the corner with his back to Hulk, allowing the champ to hammer away.

Sid bails to the floor and thankfully doesn’t go off to buy a hot dog and a Coke. Back in and he can’t ram Hogan into the buckle but Hulk can do it to him. This riveting spectacle heads outside with Hogan nailing Sid with a chair and throwing him into the audience. For a change of pace, Sid hits Hogan with the chair and throws him onto the announcers’ table. He even one ups the champ by pouring water over Hulk AND the announcers! Tony: “HE SOAKED US WITH WATER!”

Back in and we hit a nerve hold because Sid worked so hard already. The fans chant Goldberg, but the water in Heenan’s ear makes it sound like Hogan. A clothesline breaks up the comeback and Sid fires off some right hands as Tony tries to explain how Hulking Up works. The chokeslam gets a delayed two and I think you know what’s coming. That’s right: Rick Steiner breaking up the comeback because WCW wants us all to watch Raw.

Rating: F. You know, I grew up a Hulkamaniac. In the twenty five years plus as a Hulk Hogan fan, I’ve sat through a lot of nonsense. Over the years, very few things have made me as embarrassed as this nonsense. It comes off like a Hogan impersonator doing all of Hulk’s greatest hits on a carnival circuit, but instead it’s the real thing on national TV. The matches aren’t any good, the live fans respond to a degree, but the TV audience collectively does not care.

Sid doesn’t make things any better either. I know he never was exactly a ring general, but this is setting a new standard for him too. He clearly doesn’t care anymore and is just out there for a check, but some of the stuff he does makes you wonder if he’s trying to make the matches even worse. This was two old guys (even though Sid is in his late 30s here) embarrassing themselves for a check and the company letting themselves die for whatever stupid reasons they come up with this week to validate it.

Trash fills the ring as Hogan is beaten down until Sting makes the save. Hulk covers Steiner for a three count and bell before handing Sting the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was the Sid Vicious show and for the life of me I don’t know why. I get that they’re setting up Sid vs. Goldberg for the battle of the streaks, but my goodness do they have to have him mess up that many matches to get to the point? He wouldn’t break up Enos vs. Miller but he can break up Regal getting to hurt Scotty Riggs? Then to cap it off they have him lose the main event via DQ? It’s like they’re parodying the Streak and wrecking the midcard to get there.

While this show was bad, it was a different kind of bad than recently. Lately the shows have been bad because of how horrible things were, but in this case it felt like there were a good many bright spots being dragged down by the bad. The Revolution is starting to take hold and getting rid of the Black and White is a good thing. However, we’re looking towards the old guys dominating the main event for what feels like months to come and KISS next week. As usual, this company could be good if they would get out of their own way, but it just seems to keep getting worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Road Wild 1999
Date: August 14, 1999
Location: Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Back to Eric Bischoff’s big idea so he could ride motorcycles around the Black Hills. The main event here is Kevin Nash vs. Hulk Hogan in a title/career vs. career match, which still doesn’t sound fair to Hogan. After sitting through the disaster that was Thunder though, I really don’t care about what is fair in WCW. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap of course focuses on Nash vs. Hogan. In case the five or six videos on Thunder weren’t enough for you of course. Actually, the more I think about it, one of these guys leaving means we might get someone new in the main event. FREAKING SWEET MAN!

Tony talks about this history of Road Wild. As in the show that debuted back in 1996 (1997 if you consider Hog Wild its own show). Just printing his quotes are better than almost any jokes I could come up with.

Here’s the first show of any WCW employees: Tenay in a jean jacket and sunglasses, Tony in a darker jean jacket, sunglasses and a backwards hat, and Heenan (looking mostly normal) in a black shirt and hat. My goodness this stuff never gets easier to sit through. They hype up the main event and other big options to eat up time.

We recap the Dead Pool vs. the yet to be named Filthy Animals which I don’t think has an actual story. They just started fighting one day and led up to this match. Tony says the fighting took place on the WCW Network. Good grief you mean they thought of it first???

Dead Pool vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

I do like the road design for the entrance ramp and the whole atmosphere is always really cool. It’s Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse (Violent J. and Shaggy 2 Dope) with Raven in their corner here. It’s a big brawl to start with the Clowns thankfully being knocked to the floor so Vampiro can handle the wrestling. Kidman hits an early Sky High, followed by a slingshot hilo from Eddie. They head outside for a few seconds and we see that the ring is up on a mini platform like in previous years.

Vampiro nails a nice spinwheel kick to drop Eddie as Tony points out that the Clowns aren’t really wrestlers. Granted I question how much they’re actually singers or musicians either but that’s a discussion for another time. We now get to the real point of the match as Tenay says Vampiro might be touring with the Clowns in the future. J. comes in to imitate whatever moves he saw watching wrestling as a kid, including a clothesline and a jawbreaker.

Tenay brings up the fans that have been stuck in the airport for all eternity, stalking wrestling personalities and asking them about whatever main event is coming up. Vampiro comes back in but Eddie climbs the ropes into a hurricanrana, only to have J. make the save. A Rock Bottom gets two on Eddie and the Clowns hit a double suplex. Amazingly enough, one of the most talented wrestlers of all time doesn’t have much of a problem beating up a clown named after a Scooby Doo character. He drops Shaggy with a superplex and the hot tag brings in Mysterio.

Raven actually does something (when was the last time he even had a match?) by tripping Mysterio to the floor so Vampiro can hit the Nail in the Coffin on the floor. J. comes back in and I keep getting distracted by the steak sandwich stand opposite the hard camera. Things slow back down again as Tenay brags about the Clowns being able to hit legdrops in the wrestling ring they’ve set up in their backyards. The moral of the story: don’t backyard wrestle unless you can get WCW mainstream coverage.

Shaggy powerslams Rey (Tony: “Great execution. As good as you’ll get!” The British Bulldog is rolling over in his grave.) and drops him with a clothesline for no cover. Rey raises a boot in the corner and hits a split legged moonsault, allowing the hot tag to Kidman. Everything breaks down and Kidman is left alone with Shaggy. Apparently he’s more of a Yogi Bear fan as he drops the Shooting Star for the pin to thankfully get us to a match full of actual wrestlers.

Rating: D+. The thing is, the match isn’t even all that bad. The problem here though is how many notches Mysterio, Guerrero and Kidman have to crank it down so the Clowns aren’t overwhelmed. Those three are some of the best wrestlers WCW ever had but they’re stuck in the opening match against some musicians because WCW would rather make a quick splash off having the Clowns in a boring match than put on a product that could actually compete against WWF, which Mysterio, Guerrero and Kidman tearing the house down for these twelve minutes could have been a big part of.

The Clowns aren’t even horrible in the ring, but they’re very, very limited. They can do basic stuff like clotheslines and suplexes, but so can every single wrestler on the roster. Instead of Mysterio defending the title (which he hasn’t done on a major show since May from what I can find) or Eddie actually wrapping up that stolen wallet story, we’re stuck watching these guys do stuff they taught themselves so they can have a thrill. That’s what we get for our $30?

We recap Harlem Heat vs. the Triad for the Tag Team Titles. Booker was getting beaten up by the Triad but Stevie came out to help him. He wanted to reform the team, but Booker said take off the NWO colors. Stevie said okey dokey and that’s about all it took.

Tag Team Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Harlem Heat

The Triad is defending but it’s only Kanyon and Bigelow at ringside because Flair can’t let them have all three members around anymore. Kanyon says most of the bikers here likely don’t have cable, so he explains the usual question, only to be drowned out by the engines revving. Booker is in black and white after making a big deal out of Stevie not wearing the black and white. I smell a secret alliance and feel the need to tune into Nitro to find out more.

The champs jump them to start but are quickly knocked to the floor. Only WCW would put Bam Bam Bigelow, a former biker covered in tattoos, in front of a biker rally as a heel. Tony isn’t sure if Harlem Heat will have continuity after only wrestling a few matches in the last year. You mean like Bigelow and Kanyon? Stevie tries to get the crowd going but Kanyon sends him into the corner and drives in some shoulders to the ribs. Ray pops back up and throws both champions out to the floor and things slow down again. Heenan: “I remember one time I picked up the Beast From the East. Her name was Monica.”

Back in and Booker comes in to stomp Kanyon in the corner but gets dropped to the mat and choked. Tony and Bobby actually agree that Charles Robinson was a fair referee most of the time. Tenay: “…..what?” This commentary is extra golden tonight. Back to Stevie who tells the fans to rev their engines, which for some reason keeps Bigelow from going after Stevie when his back is turned. Shoulder blocks have no effect on either guy so Ray runs him over with a clothesline.

Kanyon gets in a knee from the apron and comes in to mock the bikers a bit. Heenan turns into a manager and starts coaching Kanyon on how to choke. It’s back to Bigelow for a corner splash and a chinlock so he can whisper some sweet spots into Ray’s ear. Back to Kanyon who tries to put Stevie down so Bigelow can go up top, only to have Kanyon catapult him into Bam Bam for a breather. The hot tag brings in Booker to fire off his kicks but Bigelow low bridges him to the floor. Oddly the fans have gone far more silent since Booker came in.

Kanyon nails his middle rope Fameasser for two as we’ve slowed down again. He loads up the same move but this time Booker powerbombs him for a nice counter. I love when wrestlers learn during the match. Stevie comes in again to hammer away but Page runs out, only to get knocked down by Bigelow, setting up Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. It’s a very good sign that Benoit and Booker T. have picked up a title each in the last five days. Going back to Harlem Heat was a step backwards, but I’m very glad to see the younger guys getting something out of all this. The match was pretty good too with a basic tag team formula that has worked for years and will continue working for years to come. It also keeps up the idea that once the villains lose their backer and have to fight fair, the good guys win. In other words, Wrestling 101 works even in WCW.

We recap the Revolution vs. the Rednecks. For some reason this is treated as more about Hennig vs. Saturn than anything else. There isn’t much of a story here other than they needed something for these teams to do and threw them into this match. Oh and CHAD BROCK!!!

Revolution vs. West Texas Rednecks

It’s Douglas/Malenko/Saturn vs. Hennig/Windham/Duncum with the rednecks billed as the villains as WCW still doesn’t get their audience (nor do they get their money but at least Bischoff got to ride a motorcycle!). Saturn says they don’t care about the cowboys or Chad Brock (heresy!) so just pick who gets beaten up first. It’s a brawl to start again with the Revolution cleaning house. We settle down to Malenko vs. Barry Windham, who can’t make the t-shirt over trunks look work.

Dean takes over to start and brings in Saturn for a back elbow as Tenay goes into Professor mode, talking about how the Rednecks all have fathers who wrestled. That’s the kind of guy wrestling needs again (and not Matt “let me beat you over the head with my knowledge and names of moves that no one uses” Striker) and I’m sure there’s someone out there. Douglas comes in with a nice powerslam on Duncum as the Revolution keeps the wrestling strong. Heenan tells a story about having an 115 degree temperature but coming back just two years later. Wrestling could use a commentator like him too, but I don’t think one exists.

Saturn suplexes Windham down and hammers away but Kendall nails Saturn from the floor to change control. Good old fashioned cheating never hurt anyone. Well Saturn maybe but that’s beside the point. Off to Hennig for the necksnap as a truck drives along the road behind the ring. You can’t say this show looks the same as the rest of them. Hennig lets Saturn tag and house is cleaned for a bit before it’s off to Douglas.

The Rednecks come in to break up a Pittsburgh Plunge attempt and “whoever it was” (Tenay’s words) trips him to the floor and Shane gets beaten down on the floor. Things settle down to Windham suplexing Douglas for two. The Rednecks get us into a regular tag team formula with Kendall getting in his shots from the floor. Since we’re getting into a good wrestling match, it’s time to talk about Savage vs. Rodman. Duncum suplexes Douglas for two and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Windham for a DDT and the slowest two count I’ve seen in years. If a heel was getting counted, the announcers would suggest the referee was crooked. Shane stops Duncum with a boot in the corner and Saturn gets the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Dean puts Hennig in the Cloverleaf, only to have Kendall break it up with the cowbell. Saturn nails Duncum with the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: C. Well at least the right team won. They actually had me thinking that the Rednecks were going to win there just to tick the fans off even more. The Revolution finally has some momentum, but unfortunately it’s momentum against midcard acts instead of against the main event guys. I guess that boxing match against Piper was the extent of the youth movement’s main event push, because we need room for the main events we’re getting.

Speaking of what we’re getting, this was the third straight match that could have been on any given Nitro but instead they’re all on this show. The Tag Team Title change meant something, but so far nothing has happened to really give the fans a real thrill. Nothing so far has felt like a big moment and we’re about an hour into the show. That’s not a good sign given what’s coming.

We recap Bagwell vs. Cat. Miller said he could dance like no one else, Bagwell dressed up in black face and stole Cat’s shoes, Miller beat him up a few times, let’s have a match.

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Speaking of matches that have no business on pay per view. Tenay says Bagwell is one big match away from winning championship gold. If you throw in a far better offense I can’t say I disagree, but he’s stuck in this mess of a feud. Sonny is in a biker vest with no shirt underneath for a disturbing look. They still can’t start the match because both guys have to try to talk with Cat cutting off Bagwell every time and the bikers cutting Cat off. Bagwell: “Cat, you’re not a crowd favorite if you know what I mean.” Unless he’s being completely literal, no I don’t know what you mean.

We finally get going with Cat hiptossing Bagwell and dancing a bit. The idea works so well that he does it again but with a slam this time. We’re two minutes into the match now as a PUSSY CAT chant starts up. Buff comes back with a hiptoss and slams of his own, sending Cat to the floor so Buff can dance. Back in again and Miller spends almost a minute teasing a handshake as this match is dying in front of our eyes. He finally gets in a cheap shot on Bagwell and chokes in the corner, only to take two dropkick. Of course, it’s time to dance!

Cat hits him low (what took them so long?) and superkicks Bagwell down but the referee yells at Miller, allowing Sonny to get in some lame choking. They repeat the same sequence before Miller slaps on a chinlock. Bagwell reverses a suplex into one of his own and both guys are down. Back up and a cross body gets two on Cat so Sonny gets on the apron. To complete the disaster, Cat is rammed into Sonny’s briefcase and one of the worst rollups I’ve seen in years (I’ve had to say that too often in this review) gives Bagwell the pin.

Rating: F-. Where do I even start? How about Buff can’t even beat ERNEST MILLER with his finisher??? Last time he beat Piper with a pin in a boxing match and now he beats Miller with a rollup without the shoulder even being on the mat. The match was horrible as it was borderline comedy with all the dancing and repeated spots, mainly focused on choking. This was a disaster and something that should have been buried on Thunder instead of something that was supposed to make me care about Bagwell. How does beating up a goofy dancer who can’t do anything but choke and kick make Buff look like a star? Awful mess.

Miller and Onoo lay Bagwell out post match while Buff’s music is playing. They REALLY had to do this?

We recap Benoit vs. Page. This is part of the Revolution vs. Triad/establishment feud with Benoit wanting to prove that he could hang with a former World Champion like Page. Benoit finally got his chance to win a singles title by beating David Flair for the US Title in a fair fight and now Page wants to beat him to regain his confidence.

US T….

Oh I’m sorry I had the wrong notes. That’s the feud that should have happened. Instead Page made a bunch of Your Mama jokes about Benoit to tick him off, then Benoit won the US Title and this was made a No DQ title match at the last second.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Benoit is defending and this is No DQ. Before the match, Page says Benoit loves his mother, just like anyone else can for $2.99 a minute. Tony says this is the scene of one of Page’s best matches: last year when he teamed with Jay Leno. First the Miller match and now those memories brought up? They slug it out to start and Benoit punches out of a helicopter bomb, knocking Page out to the floor.

Back in (and thankfully away from a shirtless guy that makes Ralphus look trim) with Page getting two off a suplex. We’re already in a reverse chinlock as Page starts in on the ribs. A fireman’s carry into a faceplant drops Benoit for a delayed two and Page drives knees into the ribs. We hear Page’s career history, which really is quite the story. Page plants him with an Anderson spinebuster for two but stops to yell at the referee.

Things slow down as Page walks around the ring before a side slam gets two. I can live with him walking around like that because, unlike Miller, Page has actually shown us more than entry level offense and it fits his character to be a cocky jerk. That’s the kind of stuff that separates guys from nothing like Cat to stars like Page. Benoit gets a breather off a jawbreaker and goes up, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe.

Page takes the referee’s belt away and tries to whip Benoit but Little Naitch actually stands up to him. Granted it doesn’t work as Page wraps the belt around Benoit’s throat (Heenan: “WALK THAT DOG!”) before doing the same with Benoit over his shoulder. Very cool yet disturbing visual actually. Benoit escapes and starts rolling the Germans for two but Kanyon breaks up the Swan Dive.

The Revolution is shown watching on the monitors as Benoit throws Page into Kanyon for two. Page suplexes him down and Bigelow adds a top rope headbutt for another near fall as Benoit just won’t quit. He knocks all three members together for a pair of falling low blows (ala Sting), setting up the Swan Dive to Page to retain the title, no thanks to the Revolution.

Rating: B-. I’d be stunned if this isn’t match of the night. I really liked the story here with Page being all cocky and underestimating Benoit because he had the Triad in his back pocket, only to have Benoit fight all three of them off and win in the end. That being said, it’s really nothing great as it’s far more about the story than the wrestling. It would have been nice to have Benoit win the title here, but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without that David Flair title reign. I mean, it did SO much to make you hate Ric more right?

Breathe in people. It’s big match time.

A motorcycle is given away. I didn’t hear this advertised on any WCW show leading up to this.

We recap Sid vs. Sting but unfortunately we don’t get any Halloween Havoc 1989 clips. Basically Sid is calling himself the Millennium Man and wants to lead WCW into the future. Sting is his first target as he’s being built up for Goldberg.

Sid Vicious vs. Sting

The announcers claim that Sid has been in WCW a little over a month (it’s been two months) and he’s undefeated (if you don’t count tag matches or disqualifications of course). Apparently Sting has given up all of the power that he won from Flair. That clears up some questions, but did they have to wait two weeks to explain it? Sid stalls on the floor to start but gets kicked into the corner for a pair of Stinger Splashes.

He knocks Sid to the floor and that’s enough action to start as Sid takes a seat on the edge of the platform. Sting sends him into the crowd and they walk around ringside for a bit. When did Sting stop wrestling and become a full time brawler? 1997? Back in and Sting misses a Splash in the corner so it’s time for the wide world of choking. A backbreaker gets two on Sting as the crowd has died again. Off to another chinlock as Tony thinks the temperatures lowering could mean the matches go long. Global warming never sounded better.

They head back to the floor with Sid dropping him throat first across the barricade and we hit that chinlock again because Sid needs air. Back up and Sting drops him with a shoulder, setting up the falling low blow (third time in two matches). Sting goes to run the ropes but Sid trips him from his back. Yes, somehow Sid has invented a way to wrestle while laying down. You knew someone was going to do it someday. Snake Eyes puts Sting down again but Sid goes up, only to get taken down with a superplex. Not that it matters as the Stinger Splash is caught by a chokeslam for the completely clean pin.

Rating: D. The resting here was ridiculous as Sid was sitting/laying down at every given chance he had in a match that didn’t even last eleven minutes. This is the kind of thing that people look at in WCW and shake their heads as they wonder why they’re still watching. I mean, am I supposed to just wait for Sid to have another major match where he can be even lazier? I can get behind the idea of building up Sid as a monster, but could he put some effort into his matches? He doesn’t even use a lot of power moves as most of his offense revolves around choking. You can’t throw a powerslam in there?

Quick recap of Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg. Rick and Scott had destroyed Goldberg earlier in the year so Goldberg could go make a movie. Goldberg came back and started brawling with Steiner without a mention of the beatdown, but he did manage to say the TV Title wasn’t worth fighting for. How do you respond to that?

Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner

Non-title. It’s a brawl to start of course and Goldberg just nails him with a clothesline. Steiner tries something like a cross body to no effect and the superkick drops him. They’re clearly not going long here and that’s the best idea possible. Rick bails to the floor ala Sid before coming back in with a low blow. At least he bothered to shove the referee. Rick takes Goldberg’s knee brace off and beats him with it in whatever ways he can (which to be fair isn’t a long list).

I’ll give Tony this: he FINALLY points out that a knee brace Goldberg wore into the ring isn’t a foreign object and shouldn’t be considered cheating. I believe that’s the only time I’ve heard a commentator say that and it’s accurate. A belly to belly gets two for Rick and another brace shot to the head has him in trouble. Goldberg gets up and press slams Steiner into a powerslam, setting up the spear and Jackhammer. He really did just pop up from that offense and win with his signature moves.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not this wasn’t the worst thing they could have done. Ignoring the TV Champion losing in less than six minutes, Goldberg not selling, the knee brace shots having almost no effect and Goldberg’s comeback lasting all of three moves, this was the best possible option they had. Goldberg was supposed to destroy Steiner here and that’s basically what he did, setting him up for a bigger feud down the line. They really need to get the TV Title off of Steiner now though as it’s dying every single day he holds it.

We recap Arliss (the character, not the actor. Well depending on who you ask that is but I’m not getting into that mess again) bringing Rodman back to face Savage. This was before Rodman became a real face by kidnapping Gorgeous George, potentially raping her, attacking from behind and running from a fight. This story was such a mess and I really don’t want to know the logic behind it as I fear it might destroy my mind.

Dennis Rodman vs. Randy Savage

Hardcore for obvious reasons. Now this should be interesting as this match is very fondly remembered but I’m very curious as to how well it holds up. It should also be noted that Savage promised to bring a very bad man here to guard George. That man would also be revealed as the Hummer driver, even though this was ignored on Nitro this past week. Savage comes out alone because he doesn’t want George around Rodman. To be fair I don’t want to be around Rodman either. Rodman wants to know where she is but Savage says Rodman is his tonight. More swearing ensues and I have no idea what they’re talking about.

They’re on the floor about six seconds in with Savage going into the barricade a few times. Back in and the announcers are already praising Rodman as hard as they can. What took them so long? An elbow to the jaw puts Savage down and Tony says that’s enough to show that he’s a fine competitor. He follows it up with a Russian legsweep for another really slow two and even knows how to argue with a referee. He gets tired of dealing with Billy Silverman and lays him out before slowly walking around the ring.

Savage gets in his first offense after about three minutes by raking Rodman’s face. Heenan: “REBOUND THIS!” Mickie Jay comes out to referee as Savage hits his third choke of the match. He punches out a photographer to steal his camera and uses it to nail Rodman for two. The near fall earns Jay a right hand of his own and Scott Dickinson comes in to give us three referees knocked out.

Rodman gets back up to throw Savage outside but Savage tosses him over the barricade. The fans throw Rodman back as Savage walks around looking for weapons (or a real opponent). We’re on referee #4 now as they walk backstage. Rodman kind of armdrags Savage down but gets thrown into some trash. Here’s the big spot of the match: Rodman gets thrown into a portable toilet, which is then shoved over. The door opens and the waste comes out, only to have Rodman pop back up. Seriously, THAT is what people say made this match entertaining.

Back to ringside with Savage being thrown into the lighting structure before Dennis “hits” a middle rope “clothesline”, accidentally knocking the referee down. Gorgeous George comes out to the reaction of the match and hits Rodman low. She also gives Savage a chain to knock Rodman out for the pin to end this mess. Yes, Savage needed George and a chain to beat a basketball player.

Rating: D. It was messy (literally), it wasn’t really entertaining, Rodman nor Savage have any business in a ring at this point…..but I didn’t completely hate this. Maybe it’s low expectations or Rodman having a better presence than he did in the horrible tag match in 1998, but this could have been about a million times worse. Yeah the toilet spot was stupid and a lot of the moves didn’t hit, but this is like the Clown match earlier: it’s not fair to expect a good match out of someone who isn’t a good wrestler. The praise this match got is overkill, but this could have been WAY worse.

We recap Hogan vs. Nash, which seems to be the real match they wanted to get to instead of Goldberg vs. Hogan or Goldberg vs. Nash. The idea here is they’re arguing over who was the real force behind the NWO and it’s Nash’s career vs. Hogan’s career and title to try and add in some drama. Hogan turned face earlier in the week to get rid of any possible drama for this match.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash

The fans and announcers are entirely behind Hogan. Nash shoves him into the corner a few times to start and the engines rev again. He grabs a headlock (Hogan: “OH MY GOD!”) and we’re already stuck in first gear. Another shove sends Nash to the floor and the stalling begins. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Nash getting the better of it. Tony continues his bizarre commentary by saying Nash is two inches taller than Hogan. If you drop Nash down to 6’11, that puts Hogan at 6’9. That’s a stretch even for WCW.

Nash starts going after the back but takes too long on the framed elbow. There’s nothing here that wouldn’t be seen on a Nitro main event so far. Hulk hammers away in the corner but gets raked in the eyes. Nash uses the boot choke as we’re only in signature mode here. They head outside for nothing of note before Nash slowly walks around the ring. He calls for the Jackknife but keeps hammering away, including the framed elbow. The big boot and Jackknife plant Hogan and it’s Hulk Up time. You know the rest and Nash is sent on vacation. Uh I mean retired. Yeah retired. For like, ever.

Rating: D. So after all that time (the full five days) of buildup for the career vs. career stipulation and the huge Nash heel turn (three weeks ago I believe) after Hogan’s long title reign (less than a month at this point), they did the paint by numbers Hogan match and expected us to be amazed. This was the Hogan formula from the 80s taking place four months from the year 2000, which tells you almost all you need to know about WCW.

The worst part is Hogan vs. Nash could have drawn a fairly decent crowd if promoted the right way. It’s a big main event that we hadn’t seen yet but it’s thrown onto maybe the lowest level PPV of the year on a Saturday instead of the usual Sunday. They set this match up to fail and I really don’t get the thinking there. Granted that could be said about almost everything around this time.

Overall Rating: D. This really isn’t the worst show ever, as the first half (save for the Bagwell vs. Cat mess) is totally watchable. Mostly boring but watchable. You have some decent action and a title change plus a good Benoit vs. Page match. Unfortunately, that all led to the second half of the show and that’s where this show gets its reputation.

The main event guys hit new levels of lazy and sluggish here with Sid somehow coming up with offense from his back. I mean, he can’t even sit up to trip Sting? The main event had as much heat as an igloo on Christmas Eve, Sting vs. Sid was just there to set up something for the future, Goldberg vs. Steiner was a Thunder main event and Rodman vs. Savage was just a celebrity appearance. Maybe Nash leaving for awhile will open up a main event slot, but the thoughts of who they might put in there terrifies me.

You know what this needed to be? A Clash of the Champions. Cut out the opener, Miller vs. Bagwell and make Sid/Savage vs. Rodman/Sting (Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see Sting and Rodman try to have a conversation) a tag match. That’s not a bad two hour show and it would certainly make fans feel better than paying for this mess. This show didn’t need to be a three hour pay per view as the matches and feuds just aren’t there for one. They need to mix things up soon though because this product is killing them.

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Monday Nitro #200
Date: August 9, 1999
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re at a milestone show here and there’s a pretty well known main event. At the moment we have the battle of the old guys with feuds ranging from Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan, Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg and Sting vs. Sid Vicious. That sounds like a reason to mix those guys up in a big match. Oh and we have country music with Chad Brock. Yeah I don’t remember him either. This is also the go home show for Road Wild. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of the end of last week’s show.

Tony is back on commentary with no reason given for his absence. He does however have an announcement: Dusty Rhodes is now head of the WCW Championship Committee. Wasn’t he last seen as part of the NWO?

Norman Smiley/Lash Leroux/Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro/Insane Clown Posse

Uh…yay. Raven is in the corner and has officially named the team the Dead Pool. Do they like chimichangas? Vampiro and Lash get things going with some chops back and forth. Tony is back to his old standard by randomly talking about Nash vs. Hogan. Off to the Prince for his selection of right hands but Vampiro hits a kind of throwing powerbomb. You would think Norman or Lash would have done something given that he powerbombed Iaukea out of their corner, but my guess is they’re trying to figure out why the Insane Clown Posse is wrestling a match in Idaho.

Violent J. (called Jack Jeckyl by Tony. To be fair that’s what it says on his jersey) hits a decent suplex before playing Neidhart to Vampiro’s Hart in a Hart Attack. Shaggy comes in for a bad looking DDT but Prince sweeps the legs to take over. To make things worse, Shaggy’s shorts are falling down. Norman tries to come in to help Iaukea but it just allows Vampiro to hit him low.

J. drops a leg to the chest but hurts his head with a headbutt to the Prince. At least he knows his stereotypes. They head outside with Vampiro throwing Iaukea into the steps. Back in and Shaggy misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Norman. A big old spinning slam drops Shaggy and everything breaks down. The fans are actually WAY into this one. Vampiro suplexes Lash down and J. adds a moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Clowns are an interesting case as they actually have some training so it’s WAY better than when celebrities have matches on Raw, but I’d still be hard pressed to call them good. They can do some very basic stuff like suplexes and the moonsault was acceptable, but they’d be lost trying to do more than a four minute match without people there to help them. Case in point, this match worked for the most part because the Clowns weren’t in a good chunk of it and the wrestlers carried it. The crowd helped a lot too as they were into the match, but the wrestling was nothing great.

Nitro Girls.

The Revolution is in the back with Dusty and ask him when things are going to change around here. Dusty says in due time but gets cut off by David Flair and Torrie Wilson. Dusty is called an old man so Benoit slaps the Crossface on David. Apparently the way to make things change is through violence because that earned Benoit a US Title shot. It’s about time someone realized David and his dad had no authority anymore and they could get the US Title off of him in about 10 seconds.

Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Public Enemy

The Rednecks have a new song called Good Old Boys, which is nowhere near as catchy. Tony starts talking about Chad Brock and actually gives us a reason for him to be here: he used to train at the Power Plant and actually was in an eight man tag on Saturday Night back in 1996. That still doesn’t make me want to see him but WCW never really cared what fans thought. Hennig throws Rocco around the ring to start but eats a boot in the corner.

Off to Grunge who has the same luck as Hennig when Windham blasts him with a lariat. Kendall actually does something by tripping up Grunge to keep the Rednecks in control. We hear about Brock even more as Johnny and Curt double clothesline each other. It’s a double tag as Public Enemy takes over with their usual brawling before a flip dive puts Barry through the table. Not that it matters though as Curt nails Grunge with the cowbell for the pin.

Rating: D. The Rednecks seem to be in decline as there isn’t much for them to do anymore. If the best they can come up with is having Curt feud with the country singer coming in to perform, they need to just disband the team now or let Hennig and Windham be a regular tag team. It was a fun idea while it lasted but there’s nothing for the team to do right now.

Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tony tries to tell us how easy it is to order a WCW PPV as this is sounding more and more desperate every week. Jeanie never did anything that I can find. Apparently Mona was a powerlifter in her younger days, which isn’t something you would expect out of someone her size. They hit the mat to start and trade some hammerlocks and armbars. Jeanie isn’t half bad out there and takes a decent monkey flip to send her outside.

The match stalls for a bit as they trade places, only to have Jeanie choke a bit on the way back in. Mona gets two off a sunset flip and the fans give her a good reaction. Granted it likely has something to do with the short skirt flipping over but a pop is better than nothing. Back up and a dropkick to the head sends Jeanie into the corner. For a sweet ending, Mona puts on an Indian deathlock but grabs Jeanie’s shoulders and rolls her over, bridging the legs into the air for a pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here and I’m surprised Jeanie never did anything else. She needed some work but with more experience and some polish she could have been something decent. Mona of course would have her success in the near future and it’s easy to see why off this match. This was a big, nice surprise.

Brandi Alexander, a chick that Mona beat up before, comes in but takes a clothesline from Mona.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash.

Hogan is in the back when his son Nick comes in. Hogan is in the NWO gear and Nick wants to know why his dad didn’t wear the red and yellow that Nick packed for him. We hear a noise though and Hulk runs out of the room, only to get laid out by Nash, Sid and Steiner. They beat him out to the ring but Sting and Goldberg make a quick save.

This is apparently enough for Hogan to put his career on the line on Saturday and makes a challenge for a six man tag. Nash says it’s on, but Sting wants Nash’s career on the line too. That’s cool as well, but Goldberg tops them all. He says Steiner doesn’t have anything to put on the line at Road Wild so he’ll just have to beat Steiner up.

Is there any question why the title was retired soon after this? I mean good grief it’s one thing to not acknowledge that someone is a champion but to flat out say that the belt is worthless? The worst part: you know Goldberg never got any flack for that backstage. Why would he anyway? The title has been dying a brutal death since Steiner became champion and just brutalized everyone he’s fought in meaningless matches.

That belt could be used for people like the Revolution, Booker T., Bagwell, even Disco Inferno or Cat. But instead it’s being held by a guy no one cares about while Goldberg says the belt doesn’t matter. Stupid decisions like this are among the biggest reasons WCW went under: they didn’t care about anyone but the old guys and they think people care about guys like Rick Steiner because he was a big deal nine years ago. I really can’t get over that stupid line. I agree Goldberg is above the TV Title, but did he have to point out that it’s worthless in general?

US Title: David Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Maybe this can make me feel better. Heenan’s tongue is falling out of his mouth over Torrie’s outfit. Little Naitch is ejected as referee and Nick Patrick will be taking over. Isn’t he almost just as corrupt? Flair immediately bails to the floor and tries to leave, only to be thrown back in by Malenko and Saturn. Douglas was there too but he was too busy reminding us of how great he was in ECW to actually help.

David bails again but is surrounded on the floor. A snap suplex sends the champ flying and Benoit slaps him a few times. Benoit is just toying with him here. Kanyon tries to do a hilarious looking run in (the look on his face was priceless as he looked like he was trying to save a baby from a burning building) but gets stopped by Saturn, allowing Benoit to drop the Swan Dive for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it’s clearly not about the wrestling but they did exactly what they were supposed to out there. Benoit FINALLY wins a singles title and gives David exactly what he deserves. Granted it’s about three months too late for it to have the impact they were going for but at least it finally happened.

Page comes in and Rock Bottoms Benoit but thankfully the Revolution runs in for the save before Page can ruin the moment. Benoit issues a challenge for Saturday in a No DQ match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Savage to reveal who is going to guard George on Saturday, who also drove the Hummer. Gene introduces George as being with him but Savage is alone. After a quick President plug, he promises to kill Rodman on Saturday. Gene gets to the point by asking about the Hummer driver…..and Savage ignores him. One more line about Saturday and we’re done. As I ask myself every week, why do I even bother watching Thunder if they’re going to tease stuff like this and then never follow up?

Chris Adams/Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.

It’s Eddie and Taylor to get things going, but first they have to see who the fans are behind. The stalling continues as we’re nearly two minutes into the match with barely any contact. Taylor actually snaps off a headscissors and dropkick to send Eddie to the floor, drawing some solid booing. You would have thought Eddie would start that way but instead he headscissors Taylor down to take over.

Off to Rey, who is in an orange prison uniform because for some reason in the 90s, that was considered cool. Adams runs him over with a shoulder and a powerslam gets two. He misses a top rope splash though and Rey hits a Lionsault, on the same night that Chris Jericho was debuting on Monday Night Raw. Adams pops back up with that sweet superkick of his for two before catapulting him into the wrong corner.

Dave finally charges into a boot in the corner and the prison enthusiast rolls over for the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Taylor. Adams is all alone, setting up a Mysterio top rope hurricanrana, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. What is with this show tonight? They’ve been nailing the wrestling all night with everyone clicking in the ring. Mysterio and Guerrero being a good tag team isn’t a surprise given how much they’ve worked together in the past. Adams and Taylor were fine in this role as two guys that can work well with anyone. If this was what Nitro was like until a big main event, I’d have far fewer complaints.

Speaking of complaints, cue the Dead Pool to jump Mysterio and Guerrero, only to have Kidman make the save. Six man on Saturday it seems.

Gene brings out the Rednecks, who imply they were with the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain last night. Apparently they were scheduled to perform Good Old Boys live but Chad Brock has replaced them. Seriously, this is the best thing they can come up with? Ignore the fact that the fans booed Brock’s name in general but cheered when Hennig promised to beat him up. Why do I have a feeling this was translated as “See??? THE FANS RESPONDED TO HIS NAME! MORE CELEBRITIES!”

Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Over halfway through the show, Tony sends out get well wishes to Scott Hudson. Gee that’s nice of him. Did we ever get a reason why Tony was gone in the first place though? Kidman starts fast with a dropkick and the slingshot headscissors, potentially causing lethal hair damage. Disco pops back up and throws him over the top before grabbing a Russian legsweep back inside.

The chinlock is broken in about five seconds and Kidman nails a quick clothesline. Disco continues his hot pace (maybe he has a fever?) with a swinging neckbreaker and a hot (I’ve got something here!) shot for two. Kidman comes back with a Sky High, which is a move I really would like to see someone use as a finisher full time. And I mean someone that matters, not Titus O’Neil.

Kidman ducks his head though and eats the AWESOME jumping piledriver. I know he was a comedy guy but he always had one of the best piledrivers I’ve ever seen. It’s only good for two though so, in another recurring theme tonight, he tries it again, only to have Kidman faceplant him. The Shooting Star is ready but Vampiro runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Disco looked great here and continues to be one of the most underrated WCW guys in the ring. Vampiro coming in makes sense and keeps setting up their match on Saturday, though they could have spaced the matches out better on the card. By having them back to back, it runs the risk of overloading people on one feud, and you know there’s a big crowd to see wrestling clowns.

Vampiro plants Kidman with a super Nail in the Coffin. I’m not a Vampiro fan but that looked GREAT, especially Kidman’s head flying up after impact and falling back onto the mat. Disco actually tries to make the save but eats a superkick, drawing out Eddie and Rey for the real save. Disco offers Rey a handshake but Rey is a hugger, sending Disco running away in fear. If a small man in a prison uniform tried to hug me, I’d be a bit nervous too.

The announcers chat about Saturday’s main event.

Scott Norton vs. Buff Bagwell

Vicious runs Delicious over to start and shoulders him to the floor. A clothesline misses though and Buff hits some dropkicks (clearly inspired by his match with Riggs on Thursday) to knock Norton outside. Back in and Bagwell actually uses a dragon screw leg whip. Well that’s some psychology at least.

Norton shrugs it off though and hits his shoulder breaker as we see Cat putting on the red shoes up on the ramp. Bagwell fights out of a neck crank and a cross body actually works. Cue Cat to distract the referee so Onoo can nail Bagwell with the briefcase, giving Norton two. That’s enough to make Miller call his Mama, or come into the ring for a DQ. Ignore the lack of actual contact of course.

Rating: D. Well the good match streak had to die somewhere. This was about as bad as you would have expected as Bagwell just isn’t there in the ring. It makes sense that he was great as a tag guy because he can talk well enough to get on people’s nerves and then hit the Blockbuster for a good looking finish.

Speaking of the Blockbuster, Onoo takes one as Norton chases Cat to the back.

Now for the REAL main event in any event in the country (except whatever the Rosemont Horizon was called at this point because they’re smart enough not to have this nonsense over in that company), here’s…..A SINGER THAT DOESN’T EVEN GET AN INTRODUCTION! Yeah we come back from a break and the song is starting. You know those musical acts that are said to not need an introduction anywhere in the world but for some reason they’re introduced anyway? As in like Elvis, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen etc? Well apparently Chad Brock is important enough to not actually introduce whatsoever.

He sings, people don’t care, Hennig comes out and jaws with him, the Rednecks and the Revolution come out for a staredown, I’ll never got those seven minutes of my life back.

As if that’s not enough, KISS is coming in two weeks.

Nitro Girls. They haven’t been around as much lately. You know who has been though? Chad Brock.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

For history’s sake, the Millennium Clock ended right about now. All respective partners are out here with them. It’s Booker in control to start with a back elbow to knock Kanyon to the floor so Stevie can get in some cheap shots of his own. He doesn’t have this whole face thing down yet.

Back in and Kanyon extinguishes half of the Heat with a knee to the ribs and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up with the usual as they’re clearly flying through this. The barrage of kicks set up the 110^th Street Slam but Kanyon pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. The rest of the Triad stops Stevie, allowing Kanyon to nail Booker with the belt, setting up the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match went so fast that there was only so much they could do out there. I’ll let you make your own complaint about Brock taking up their time. This was little more than another way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Saturday, which is about all you can do for a match like that. I’ve seen worse though.

Here’s Rodman to Voodoo Child, so maybe we’ll find out who was driving the Hummer here. Rodman says that this Saturday, George is going to learn that she’s his BEEP. You mean the woman that Rodman, in theory the face in this feud, as in the guy that has kidnapped George and attacked from behind, kidnapped and may have raped? Savage runs out and Rodman, your hero and mine, runs away in fear.

Sting/Goldberg/Hollywood Hogan vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash

Nash’s team comes out to the Wolfpack theme but Nash has a Black and White logo on his shirt. I’M SO CONFUSED! Remember that if Nash’s team loses, his career is on the line Saturday. Goldberg comes out to Crush Em, which I like but it doesn’t have the same impact as his old music.

Now we get the big, famous moment here though as Hogan returns to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years. Tony loses his mind as you would expect him to. To their credit, the fans go NUTS in one of the final legitimate shows of emotion you’ll ever find in WCW. I take no shame in admitting that it gave me a big smile too as I grew up a Hulkamaniac and he belongs in the red and yellow. Also, has there ever been a better three man face team in WCW?

Hogan and Steiner get things going and the worthless champion is shoved down. The big boot connects about a minute in and even Heenan is fired up to see Hogan. Some more right hands drop Steiner and the giants take punches of their own. Hogan beats up all three villains on his own and they take a breather on the floor. With Hogan dominating, the fans chant for Goldberg. You know, the guy in a match with someone that has nothing to put up on Saturday.

Goldberg gets the tag and the pop of the night as Nash comes in to face him. Nash hammers away but eats a superkick and suplex as the fans get even louder. You can see Hogan saying “Yeah they popped louder for me brother. I heard them chanting HO-GAN too.” Sid walks into a powerslam and it’s off to Sting, who seems almost out of his league for once. He lays Sid on the top rope for the Stinger Splash but the top rope version gets two to stop the crowd dead.

The referee gets in the way of Nash’s Snake Eyes as someone has exposed the buckle. That earns him a ref bump and Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle and a third into a more modest buckle. Steiner comes in with a chair but there’s the spear. Hogan takes the chair and cleans house, including knocking Nash willy. Another referee comes out to say Nash is out for the win, putting his career on the line Saturday.

Rating: B-. It’s a very fun match and Hogan coming back in the red and yellow is a big moment. We had a top level WCW face team against the three top heels (since Flair has disappeared) and the crowd went nuts. That brings me to my one big issue with the match: wouldn’t this have made more sense next week?

Next week’s main event would be Hogan vs. Sid for the title, so couldn’t they have swapped that to this week and had the six man after the PPV? With this, whatever they do on Saturday is going to feel like a letdown from this and you get Hogan putting on the red and yellow again after he defeats his “biggest challenge” (work with me here) thanks to the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This took away the drama because you know Hulk Hogan isn’t losing to Nash in this kind of a match. Still though, good moment and a really fun main event.

Overall Rating: B-. Easily the best Nitro in months, but this company is clearly running on borrowed time. The main event scene is dying for some fresh blood and putting Hogan in the old colors is only going to keep him going for so long. Benoit getting the title is a bright spot and at least a sign of hope, but I’m still stuck on that TV Title line. It’s going to take some time to get that back to credibility and Rick Steiner holding it isn’t going to help that. Midcard title problems aside, this show was solid action (mostly) in front of a red hot crowd. They still need to cut back to two hours, but not being horrible is a good start.

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Today we’re looking at a guy who was small but tough: Kevin Sullivan.

Sullivan got started all the way back in 1970s. We’ll pick him up as a jobber in the WWF on August 7, 1976 in MSG.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Bruiser Brody

This is Brody’s MSG debut. It’s so strange to see anyone but the Fink doing the announcing. In a sign of the times, Brody’s manager the Grand Wizard heads to the back as managers weren’t allowed at ringside back then. Brody doesn’t seem to mind as he pounds Sullivan up against the ropes. Some choking ensues but Sullivan avoids a charge in the corner. That’s the extent of the good part of the match for Sullivan though as Brody torture racks him for the win.

We’ll jump ahead to the first Starrcade in 1983.

Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin vs. Scott McGhee/Johnny Weaver

McGhee and Sullivan get things going meaning we don’t have a tall man in the ring at all. Off to Lewin to slap McGhee in the back and tag out to Sullivan again. Weaver gets the tag and we get a crisscross resulting in Sullivan holding onto the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lewin comes back in but Weaver starts cranking on his arm to gain control. Off to Scott again as Lewin isn’t sure what to do.

Mark and Kevin start tagging in and out very quickly to work on Scott’s arm with knees and chops to the shoulder. Lewin comes in to crank on both arms at once but Scott manages to make a tag while still in the hold. That would be very impressive but the tag doesn’t count as the referee didn’t see it. Lewin and Sullivan stay on the arm before it’s a nerve hold by Mark. Sullivan comes back in but lets McGhee go long enough for the hot tag to Weaver. Johnny cleans house but has his bulldog broken up by Sullivan. Now it’s Weaver getting pounded down and Lewin comes in off the top rope with a knee to the arm….for the pin? Seriously?

Rating: C-. It was better than the opener but not by much. The arm stuff was fine although the ending was out of nowhere. Sullivan just held the arm while Lewin jumped onto it for the pin. The match wasn’t bad but we’re now a fourth of the way through the show and no good guy has won yet. That’s some questionable booking.

Another big jump forward to Clash of the Champions V as Sullivan is part of the Varsity Club.

US Tag Team Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams had taken the titles from the Fantastics at Starrcade but tonight it’s Williams and Rotunda defending. Ross puts over the idea that the Varsity Club is going to try for a submission because the Fantastics have never given up before. Rotunda and Rogers get things going with some high quality stalling. A fireman’s carry puts Tommy down and the stalling continues. Rogers finally gets things going with a cross body for two but it’s quickly off to Williams for some raw power. Rotunda helps Williams for a double clothesline from the apron and the champions take control.

Fulton comes in a few seconds later for a double dropkick and some dancing to very little amusement from the crowd. The stalling continues and we get an inset promo from Rick Steiner, saying he’ll take care of Rotunda in Chicago. Williams runs Fulton over and brings Rotunda back in, only to have him get caught in a sunset flip for two. Bobby cross bodies Steve for two more and it’s back to Rogers for a dropkick followed by more standing around.

Steve runs him over again and Rotunda gets the tag to slow the pace even more. Fulton gets sent to the floor where Williams runs him over with a clothesline before dropping him face first on the apron. A top rope ax handle gets two for Williams and a clothesline gets the same for Rotunda. No real sign of the attempted submissions yet. Fulton avoids a knee drop but Williams breaks up a hot tag attempt.

A big shoulder tackle puts Fulton down again but he grabs the ropes to block the Oklahoma Stampede. Now the hot tag brings in Rogers as everything breaks down. Tommy hits what was supposed to be a top rope cross body to Williams but hits him more in the back, only to have Rotunda get in a cheap shot to give Williams the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of the difference between slow paced and boring. They weren’t going fast here, but they were doing stuff throughout the match. This was very different, and much more entertaining, than the previous two matches which were often move, move, three minute chinlock. It wasn’t a great match or anything, but there’s a huge difference between the two styles and it made this match much easier to sit through. The Fantastics were done as a team in the NWA soon after this.

Here are some more good opponents at Great American Bash 1989.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is under Texas Tornado rules and is Scott’s debut on PPV. Sullivan and Rotunda here as they’re all that’s left. The Steiners bring actual dogs with them. Kevin and Rick fight on the floor as this is of course just a massive brawl. Apparently this is no DQ also as Kevin rams Rick into a table and it’s all fine. Rick busts out a belly to belly in the ring though as Scott just destroys Mike.

Scott gets double teamed as they are flying through this. The evildoers get stereo twos as I’m liking this brawl style here. Rick brings in a chair or something like it and gets blasted in the head with it in a painful looking spot. Kevin picks up Rick for a slam but Scott comes off the top onto Rick’s back for a double splash more or less and the pin on Kevin. Total nonstop action here to coin a phrase.

Rating: B. This was incredibly fun. It was about four and a half minutes long, but this was very similar to the Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/random partner matches in 94 as they just beat the fire out of each other from bell to bell. What more can you really ask for other than it being longer? This was the end of the Varsity Club as Rotunda left before coming back next year as a sailor while Sullivan hooked up with a bunch of crazy characters, one of which was a newcomer named Cactus Jack. You may have heard of him.

Time to torture some skateboarders at Wrestlewar 1990.

Kevin Sullivan/Buzz Sawyer vs. Dynamic Dudes

Sawyer is insane and that’s about all you need to know about him. He starts with Ace and these people are a bit more receptive than the Philly crowd was in our last show. Speaking of last shows, this is the final major show that Sawyer was on for WCW if that means anything for you. Ace sends him to the floor and a brawl breaks out on the outside. Shane and Sullivan come in and the Dudes keep control with the arm work.

Ace comes in to work on the arm more but Sullivan gets a tag. He also gets in a fight with Sawyer, much to the Dudes’ amusement. That’s smart: why break up a fight when you can get a breather? Sawyer’s arm goes into the post so Shane cranks on it. Out to the floor with Sawyer taking over. Sunset flip gets two for Ace and there’s the tag to Shane. Buzz immediately takes him down and hooks a bearhug to take Shane to the mat.

Sullivan comes in and pops Ace, which draws him in so that Sullivan can throw Shane to the floor. Everything breaks down and Johnny botches a flying headscissors. Sawyer goes up and hits a big old flying splash for the pin. That’s the interim Raw GM and the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations for you. Funk called it the Jam Sandwich, which is something Brodus should use.

Rating: C-. Not much here as none of these guys was much to watch at this point. I’ve never been a big fan of Shane and Ace is just ok. He never was all that good as his size became an issue for him but he was too slim to be a power guy. Not a very good match with a total contrast in styles that didn’t work at all.

Sullivan would head to the indies for a bit after this, including this match at ECW Ultraclash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

Off to SMW at some point in 1993.

Brian Lee vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is part of along feud where Sullivan has sent a series of men to try and take Lee out before finally just doing the job himself. This is a Singapore Spike match where there is a box on each corner and only one holds a spike to use as a weapon. Brian’s partner Tim Horner and Sullivan’s minion the Nightstalker are handcuffed to posts. Lee hammers away to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Sullivan sends him face first into a table and nails him with a chair but can’t get into a box.

Lee is thrown to the floor but comes back in with a chair to the back. Two boxes are checked and empty so they head back outside to brawl some more. Sullivan hits him in the ribs with a hammer to almost no effect. Back in and Sullivan stabs him with pliers before checking the other two boxes. There’s no spike so Lee makes his comeback with right hands and a cross body which takes out the referee. Nightstalker gets on the apron with the spike in his hand but hits Sullivan by mistake, allowing Brian to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent brawl and the story helped things a bit. It’s always a plus when you give me a reason to care why the face is in trouble but wants to fight anyway as it makes him seem like a hero and the villain look like a coward for resorting to cheating. Lee is getting better as he’s starting to find himself in the ring.

Back to WCW for a fairly memorable run, starting at Slamboree 1994.

WCW Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a Broadstreet Bully match, meaning hardcore. Nasty Boys are the heel champions here. Naturally this is just a big brawl which is what the Nastys were good at. Now THEY would have been good for ECW. It’s good that Foley is here as he’s the only one with a good deal of wrestling talent. In a very funny and smart spot, Cactus comes at Knobbs with a trash can and Knobbs gets his hands up. Jack’s solution: throw it at his feet.

That’s thinking as you go which is what made Foley great. They’re trying to top Spring Stampede I think but Sullivan’s suckiness is preventing that. Sags gets a table to a HUGE pop. To keep things NASTY, he gets tired carrying it. This is nowhere near as intense though and there’s a lot more walking around doing very little. In a nice finish, Schultz does his standard thing of pulling the shirt over the other guy’s head and punches him as Cactus hits him with a hockey stick for the pin and new champions. Maxx Payne hits Sags with a guitar for general purposes.

Rating: B-. This was a good fight, but it’s the sequel to a great fight. This felt like it was trying to be a great fight. That being said, it was still very fun. Jack vs. the Nasty Boys was fun as Jack was just as insane as they were but he could think. This was fun and again, since this is the only match like this all night, it stands out far more and looks better than it would if there had been this almost in every match, ala ECW.

Here’s the showdown at Fall Brawl 1994.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Cactus Jack

The announcer says it’s Loser Leaves WCW and then explains that the stipulation is that the loser leaves WCW. WOW. Yeah this Foley guy has no future here so he needs to move on. That’s Hogan’s idea at least. Again, another young guy with talent that’s over has no place at all in Hogan’s company, no sir. We can’t have young talent here that could show up Hogan. Give me a break.

We don’t actually go to the ring first but rather out into the crowd. This is really just a fight instead of a match which is what makes sense. Foley had recently lost his ear in a match with Vader in Germany which was never turned into a story like Foley wanted to. According to Foley in his book, WCW didn’t want to push a hot feud that the fans were into and good matches were being produced from. That just can’t happen.

Jack throws in a chair but nothing comes of it. This is all Jack selling and Sullivan trying desperately to convince a single person that he has talent. Dave, Kevin’s brother, keeps Cactus from using a chair. Kevin tries to use one also and Dave stops him.

Cactus rams into him on the apron which for some reason knocks him down long enough for a pin. Off to ECW and credibility Jack, even though you were very over in WCW and getting more and more respect every day and having good matches. We have no need to that pesky talent thing.

Rating: D+. This was all Cactus here as he made Sullivan look good, thereby proving that he was awesome. Again, let me make this clear: Mick Foley, 4 time world champion and surefire Hall of Fame wrestler, was thrown out in favor of the Taskmaster. Let that sink in for a minute and tell me Hogan isn’t hurting this company in the long run.

And a totally different kind of match at Starrcade 1994.

Mr. T. vs. Kevin Sullivan

Mr. T. was with Mr. T. at the first Wrestlemania and has been associated with him on and off ever since. He’s in a referee shirt and hat here for no apparent reason. T sidesteps Sullivan to start and hiptosses him down….as Santa comes out. Some headbutts put Sullivan in the corner and T pounds away, only to be sent out to the floor.

Sullivan rips his shirt over T’s head and pounds away as a cameraman goes down. They stay on the floor with Sullivan continuing to pound away until Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s manager, comes out. The distraction lets him slip his megaphone to Santa (Kevin’s brother) who blasts Kevin in the head, giving T the pin.

Rating: F. Was there a point to this that I was missing? It wasn’t even four minutes long and T was on offense for all of thirty seconds. The rest of this was Sullivan slowly beating on T outside before the finish. Other than that, not much to see here at all but I guess T brought in some extra buys for the show.

Sullivan would transition into a managerial role around this point but still wrestled occasionally, including this match on Nitro, September 25, 1995.

Taskmaster vs. Randy Savage

How did a guy like Sullivan get Woman? That makes no sense. Taskmaster jumps him early and Zodiac is on the floor. That’s gimmick number 8 million for Beefcake that didn’t work out. A barber is the best he can do. That’s very amusing. Did Sullivan ever do anything of note? I can’t think of anything. Savage gets crotched over the barricade and he’s in trouble.

This match is on fast forward it seems. And there’s Zodiac for the DQ. Actually never mind. Blatant interference is fine but shoving the referee to fight for your life isn’t. Giant comes out and beats the tar out of Savage as jobbers come out to try to beat up Giant for some reason. Alex Wright comes out and gets beaten up too.

Luger comes out and we have some intrigue here. Luger of all people was one of the most interesting people in the company around this time. He goes after Giant too and takes a chokeslam. He actually had everyone guessing as to which side he was on, which was a fun angle. Then the NWO ended that.

Rating: N/A. This was a fight rather than a match but was designed to add more to the Hogan/Giant and Luger/Savage feuds. Yeah I’m shocked too.

Here’s Sullivan’s best match ever as part of his blood feud with Chris Benoit. I’m sure you’ve heard the story a dozen times, but in short, Sullivan was booking and came up with a story where Benoit stole Sullivan’s real life wife Woman, but that’s exactly what happened in real life. Here’s their first showdown at Great American Bash 1996.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the heck out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to hurt horribly. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks painful as all goodness. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

Another part of the feud at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that. Giant being an unstoppable force was perfect for him here.

Here’s a bit match from Nitr, December 16, 1996.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan blames Schiavone for showing the videos (of Benoit and Woman) on the way to the ring. The brawl stats in the aisle and Sullivan throws a chair at his head. Anderson misses a swing with the chair and hits the post by mistake. They go into the ring for what must have been a good 4 seconds before heading into the crowd.

They go into the ring for the first time that you can actually keep track of and the referee gets a DDT. Sullivan double stomps him and ties Anderson into the Tree of Woe but Anderson manages to kick him low. Here’s Hugh Morrus who gets a DDT. Konnan gets a left hand and Sullivan manages to hit Anderson with a wooden chair for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t really grade this as a match because it was a brawl instead of an actual match. It was entertaining which is really all you can ask for here. Benoit would get back soon enough, namely due to being in the US Title tournament. This was a fun brawl but there isn’t much of a reason to watch it from a storyline perspective as the heat was on Benoit.

Another showdown at SuperBrawl 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a death match which means street fight. Jackie is with Sullivan and Woman is with Benoit. The chicks will be strapped together for no apparent reason. These two feuded FOREVER and it never particularly went anywhere other than giving us one or two great matches and then the guys trying to redo the matches over and over again which never worked. This would be (I think/hope) the final one.

Both pairs start brawling and it’s a nice pop for that surprisingly. The women are the focus here of course as Benoit and Sullivan have the most basic match you can have that is still classified as pro wrestling. They’re suplexing each other, as in butterfly/regular varieties, in a DEATH match. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap and the girls get unattached. Benoit gets hung, which I guess you could call foreshadowing?

Dusty freaks out because a woman is doing something so this is turned into a total joke. The girls beat on the guys as I want this to end very badly. The guys watch the girls then wake up and beat on each other. The girls get left in the ring as the guys fight up the aisle. It’s split screen time because WCW enjoys doing that for some reason.

The guys fight into the back and we’re on one screen now. They throw stuff at each other and it’s time to go back into the arena after about a minute or so. The referee, ever the genius, stayed with the girls instead of going to the back where a pin could have happened. Back in the ring and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which is one of Sullivan’s finishers.

Woman saves and Benoit pops up to piledrive Sullivan. Jackie doesn’t hit Woman but she falls down anyway. It’s table time which wasn’t a well known wrestling thing yet so it was still a fairly big deal. Sullivan goes on the table, Jackie gets on top of him for the sake of protection, Benoit is like screw it and dives on both of them, the table doesn’t break, Sullivan is pinned under the table.

Rating: D. Terribly boring stuff here as this was a DEATH match and it was a comedy match. No idea what they thought the appeal to this would be but it didn’t work in the slightest. This feud was straight up played already so they kept going with it for months and months on end. Weak match, feud sucked, wasn’t funny.

And now a retirement match at Bash at the Beach 1997 to finally end this feud.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and Jackie is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan would come back for a one off match at Starrcade 1999.

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

Sullivan never was the best wrestler but he could have a decent brawl. His feud with Benoit, while WAY too long, produced some very solid fights, including the classic at Great American Bash 1996. There are a lot of others who could have better matches than he could, but he made the most of his career, which lasted nearly thirty years. That puts him on a very short list with some great company.

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Thunder
Date: August 5, 1999
Location: Lacrosse Center, Lacrosse, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We’re coming off an actually decent episode of Nitro, even though it was dominated by the over 40 crowd. Ok maybe I need to be more specific as that could be a lot of different episodes of the show. In this case, it ended with Nash powerbombing Hogan through the table, likely setting up a six man tag soon down the road. In addition to that, we have a lot of musical performances to plug because that’s what WCW is about anymore. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with a recap of the end of Nitro.

Opening sequence.

Prince Iaukea vs. Chris Adams

If Sid doesn’t break this up before it gets to three minutes, all hope is lost for this company. They actually slug it out to start with Adams taking over with a clothesline, sending Iaukea out to the floor for a breather. That’s kind of heelish of him. Not that I care due to Prince Iaukea being perhaps the least interesting wrestler of all time, but it’s definitely noticeable. Back in and Iaukea goes to the eyes to make sure we know he’s a heel. A legdrop gets two on Adams and Iaukea backdrops him down for good measure, only to have Sid come out to nail Adams for the DQ.

Adams takes a powerbomb and Nick Patrick is forced to count a three count. Iaukea takes one as well and Sid promises to lay out all our heroes. If he has to, he’ll take out the entire locker room to break Goldberg’s streak and become the Millennium Man. I’m sure this has nothing to do with Jericho’s millennium clock which was about to wrap up around this time. Also, isn’t Sid feuding with Sting at the moment?

Video on Sting vs. Sid. I need to be more patient.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Video on Bagwell vs. the Cat.

Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs

Before the bell Buff grabs the mic and says the American Males are over, so it’s time for Scotty to start riding his own coattails. Had anyone actually thought of the American Males in the last two years to make that comment necessary? Bagwell picks up the mirror to really set Riggs off and the match starts in a hurry. Of course, Riggs may try to start fast but gets atomic dropped, punched and dropkicked out to the floor. The more I see of Bagwell in the ring, the more I’m unsure if he should have gotten that big push. Other than the Blockbuster, the guy just had NOTHING special in the ring.

Riggs bails to the floor just like Iaukea did earlier (must be a boring wrestler thing) but Buff sends him right back inside. Back in and they trade dropkicks with Bagwell hitting the second one, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Ten right hands in the corner get the crowd into things a bit and send Riggs over to the corner for his mirror. Since referees are worthless in this company, Riggs blasts him in the throat with the mirror to take over.

Elbows and more dropkicking abound because Scotty Riggs really doesn’t know how to do much else. Oh wait apparently he can check the mirror some more. Riggs chokes on the ropes and slaps on a chinlock to kill some time. We get the usual escape before Buff avoids a dropkick. Gee I wonder how he knew it was coming. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Buff takes over, even though he had control just a few seconds earlier. Buff hammers away but eats a jawbreaker, allowing Riggs to put him on the top. Oh come on dude now you’re just asking for it. The Blockbuster connects for the easy pin.

Rating: D. Why in the world is Riggs still employed??? By this point it’s firmly established that there’s nothing interesting to him and giving him such a generic gimmick suggests that there’s nothing they can do with him. The match wasn’t even that bad from a technical standpoint but it was so boring with WAY too many dropkicks. What did WCW see in these two as a team? They’re both as lame as the other.

Video on Harlem Heat.

The announcers chat about Goldberg for a bit. He’s tough you see.

Video on the Triad vs. Harlem Heat.

Diamond Dallas Page was on the Late Late Show. As interesting as it sounds.

Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero

This should help. Eddie, a face at the time, isn’t interested in shaking hands. Instead he backdrops Kidman to the apron but gets caught in a middle rope ankle scissors to take him down. That’s fine with Guerrero who goes after the knee to take over. Back to the apron and this time it’s a slingshot ankle scissors to send Eddie to the floor as we take a break. Back with Eddie holding Kidman in the Gory Special before switching over to the Gory Special 2000 (basically an Eye of the Storm but by the neck. I’ve never heard it called that before) for two.

A great looking hurricanrana gets the same on Kidman but Eddie makes the mistake of trying a powerbomb. The Shooting Star is countered and Eddie takes him down with a superplex. The fans are WAY into counting along with the referee. Back up and Kidman hammers away but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Another powerbomb attempt goes badly for Eddie as Kidman hurricanranas him out to the floor.

Cue Vampiro to plant Eddie with the Nail in the Coffin behind the referee’s back. Kidman wakes up and, as Larry points out, can’t he take a wild guess at what happened? Apparently he can as he dives onto Vampiro instead of hitting the Shooting Star. Eddie and Vampiro beat Vampiro up as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Of course this was good, but unfortunately it’s there to set up a story for the Insane Clown Posse because of some mainstream exposure that most wrestling fans didn’t care about. This is another match that could have done far better with more time and an actual ending, but that goes for almost all cruiserweight matches.

Rey Mysterio remembers that he’s a cruiserweight and comes out to help in the beatdown. Kidman powerbombs Vampiro down and Eddie nails the Frog Splash for good measure.

No Limit Soldiers vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Swoll and Brad Armstrong here with the former in his last match (other than one on Saturday Night) in WCW. Brad and Lenny, complete with pigtails here get things going with Lenny doing the talk to the hand thing. We stop again because it’s time for a brother hug. Brad finally grabs a hammerlock, probably being wondering how he managed to get here. Off to Lodi vs. Swoll, who shrugs off an armbar attempt. Lenny tries the same hold, only to have both Swoll clothesline both guys out to the floor. Granted he hit them in the chest but somehow that’s a major step in the right direction.

Thankfully it’s back to Brad who clotheslines Lodi to the floor, only to get tripped down so the, ahem, comedy team can take over. Lenny hammers Brad, Lodi hammers Brad, Swoll tries to make a save but backs down, hours of fun! Well at least it feels like hours. Lane nails Lodi (a commentary joke waiting to happen) and the hot tag brings in Swoll. Let’s get this over with. Swoll cleans house and everything breaks down, and the palm thrust is enough to end Lodi.

Rating: F+. Brad Armstrong, I feel so sorry for you. He had to get stuck in this horrible gimmick, basically babysitting Swoll because the guy can’t do something as simple as a clothesline without screwing it up. The guy needed a lot more training and a WAY better finisher before he might be ready for a low level show. He comes off like a big muscle guy who saw wrestling on TV and wanted to do it without knowing what it entailed. As usual, the power of nepotism means we have to suffer through his push, which thankfully is ending here. Lenny and Lodi are the same guys they’ve been for weeks and it keeps getting worse.

Nash vs. Hogan video.

This Week in WCW Motorspots.

Booker T. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This could be good if they let it last more than a few minutes. Bigelow shrugs him off to start and Booker needs a new strategy. He tries a dropkick instead (clearly inspired by Scotty Riggs) and knocks Bigelow to the floor. For some reason it takes Bigelow a good while to get back in and we take a break. Back with Booker fighting out of a chinlock and Bigelow running into a raised boot. The flying forearm has Bigelow reeling and the Ax Kick connects, only to have Page break up the Hangover for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Yeah they really didn’t care here and it showed badly. Matches like this one might be the most frustrating to sit through as it’s clear that the wrestlers just want to get out of there and get on with the angle stuff after the match. Harlem Heat vs. the Triad is good enough and might end the Triad’s title reign, but matches like these aren’t going to make me want to see the blowoff.

Booker eats a 3D post match as David Flair comes out with spray paint. They paint a diamond on Booker’s back until Stevie comes out, only to take a Diamond Cutter of his own. So wait, why is the Triad still associating with Flair? Ric has no power and David is worthlesss, so why would they want a liability like that in their corner? In theory it’s either overconfidence or money, but a quick promo would help a lot. Of course I don’t think WCW remembers that Ric is out of power yet so the promo might make things worse.

We see Hogan going through the table again.

Hogan vs. Nash video, the same one from about thirty minutes ago.

Video on Rodman vs. Savage.

Gene brings out Randy Savage for a chat. Okerlund asks where George is but Savage is uncharacteristically silent. He isn’t worried about all the people that are out to get him because Rodman and Nash are dust on his shoulders and Hogan is dust off……a rather personal place. Savage has a major announcement to make. Gene: “Save it for the Hotline!” That sounds like a line from a parody sketch. This coming Monday, Savage is going to reveal George’s bodyguard for Road Wild and it’s the same person that was driving the Hummer. I smell either a swerve or nothing happening and this never being mentioned again.

Diamond Dallas Page was on Hollywood Squares.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit

Nitro rematch where Chris picked up the win. No Kanyon this week, as Page explains that he’s breaking in (not into in case you misread that) a million dollar home in Jersey. He calls the fans stupid, just like Benoit’s mama. There’s a good history between these two and they’re capable of having good matches but the feud is built off your mama jokes?

Benoit comes a-charging and knocks Page out to the floor, setting up a big plancha to wake the crowd up a bit. Back in and Benoit nails the snap suplex but has to go outside to fight Bigelow. The distraction works as Page nails Benoit from the apron and whips him into various steel objects. Why is it always steel? I know it sounds good but was there never any other metal available to make things from?

Back in and the helicopter bomb and Rock Bottom get two each and Page slaps on an abdominal stretch. Benoit finally hiptosses out and it’s time to roll some Germans with the third sending Page flying. Cue David again to slide Page the US Title. The Swan Dive hits the gold and Page covers the unconscious Benoit for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure where they’re headed with this but they need to get the title onto either Page or Benoit in the very near future. The longer Flair holds it the weaker the other matches get because just like the TV Title on Steiner, the belt is basically being held hostage and there’s nothing for these guys to fight over. Yeah Benoit and Page can have good matches, but I need more to care about than some jokes I heard on the bus in sixth grade.

Video on Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner.

Goldberg vs. Rocco Rock

Well in theory at least as the graphic said Public Enemy. Rocco stalls on the floor to start, which is probably his best bet. He finally comes in and eats a shoulder block followed by the big press slam. Grunge comes in and gets the same sort of a beating. Back to Rock who hammers away in the corner but gets launched across the ring. A powerslam plants Rocco but Grunge slides in a chair. They take turns blasting Goldberg in the back with the chair before setting up a table in the corner. That’s fine with Goldberg (and the referee) as he spears both guys through the table, setting up the Jackhammer on Rock for the pin.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the idea made sense. This was Goldberg being himself and the fans continued to eat it up. I’m sure that’s the idea behind putting him with Steiner because….well you see…yeah there’s no logical reason to do that. The guy is over but they’re not going to put the TV Title on him, making the Road Wild match just a way to give Goldberg a win that really doesn’t mean much, which he gets almost weekly anyway. Also, was there a reason this wasn’t a handicap match?

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case for weeks now, WCW is just trying to steady the ship while WWF is on a cruise around the world. Around this time, Raw may be at a very low level on the quality scale, but it’s through the roof on an entertainment scale. That being said, all Raw has to do at the moment is be more entertaining than Nitro and Thunder and it’s doing that by a landslide.

The other major issue for WCW at the moment is where do they go from here. There’s really nothing on the horizon for them unless they’re going to do Goldberg vs. Hogan again, which would be more interesting with Hogan in his old style. However, it’s really hard to promote that as your main event when WWF is riding Austin and Rock for all they’re worth and has so much talent waiting to break through to the next level. Until WCW starts moving forward, this war is going to be completely one sided.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495^th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

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Today we’re looking at a team that had some of the best precision you’ll see this side of the 80s: the World’s Greatest Tag Team of Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.

The team was brought together at the end of 2002 as glorified bodyguards for Kurt Angle in his feud with Brock Lesnar. The trio was collectively known as Team Angle and would see their first major action together in one of the main events of No Way Out 2003. This was billed as a six man tag but Edge had his first major neck injury, making it a handicap match.

Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Brock Lesnar

Team Angle is Angle himself of course and the World’s Greatest Tag Team who have the world and tag titles. You can figure out the combination of those. Benoit had been feuding with Angle before this and Lesnar won the Rumble so he has the main event slot with Angle all set already.

I love that Toothless Aggression shirt. It’s such a great play on words. The UFC Heavyweight Champion looks freaking awesome. He really was a once in a lifetime find and was only there for two years. I hope he comes back some time. Shelton and Benoit start us off. We’re more or less just waiting on the Angle vs. Lesnar showdown here.

Instead we get Lesnar vs. Haas because that’s all we can do. Brock destroys him and Angle won’t fight him. Benjamin comes in and gets his head kicked in too. Taz wants to know what a Canuck is and thinks it sounds stupid. Angle gets a quick choke in which fails completely. Shelton KICKS HIM IN THE FACE to send him down.

Ah here’s Angle. Oh and Heyman manages the heels too. He got around at this point. Benoit seems to have no problem with having Lesnar fight all three guys at once either. Angle gets a modified rear naked choke as we hear about some kid named John Cena fighting Lesnar recently. That would be HUGE today to put it mildly.

Brock just destroys everyone he fights eventually, breaking Angle’s choke by ramming his head into the buckle. Cole suggests that Angle vs. Benoit is the most anticipated match in history. Just…no. Benoit comes in and ENDS Team Angle with Germans. Belly to belly off the top for Angle to Benoit and brings in Haas.

Back to Angle. Well that was rather pointless. Naturally they crank things WAY up as this is a month after their masterpiece at the Rumble. Haas comes in and everyone stops cheering or caring it seems. That should tell you something guys. Benjamin vs. Benoit gets a bit better reaction. Sweet GOODNESS Benoit could throw chops.

Hot tag to Lesnar who just runs through everything in sight. He hits Haas with a shoulderblock so hard that Haas would have been able to sit on the middle or even top rope if he had landed there. Angle comes in and it’s a big mess again. Benoit and Haas are the only ones left until we get to the part almost everyone is here to see: Benoit vs. Angle on a mat. Crossface to ankle lock to crossface to ankle lock and back to the crossface. Total time: 14 seconds.

Angle is one of the most amazing performers ever. He can go from being an idiot that makes you crack up laughing to being so stupid that you want to smack him upside his head to being very intense but he backs everything up with great matches. That’s very rare. Off the top of my head maybe Cena and Shawn are the only ones I’d put in the category with him. As I babble on about him, Benoit gets the Crossface on Haas. Angle gets the belt but walks into the F5 as Haas taps out.

Rating: C+. It’s good but at the same time, what did this prove? Lesnar and Angle were in there for a bit but Mania is already set in stone. It’s understandable that he couldn’t do much as his neck was more or less held together by gum at this point so there was only one way to do this.

They would pick up the Smackdown Tag Team Titles around this point and defended them in a three way at Wrestlemania XIX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

Here’s a regular version at Backlash 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

The Smackdown Tag Titles were established in the fall and had been a big highlight of the company ever since. They let the wrestlers go out and have great matches, and when you had guys like these four, Angle/Benoit and Edge/Mysterio, you could mix and match anyone and get an entertaining match. Team Angle (who are defending here) brings out a portrait of Angle who is too hurt to be here. This is Los Guerreros’ rematch after the champs won the titles in February.

Eddie and Charlie get us going. They take it to the mat quickly and it’s a stalemate. Eddie gets three straight two counts and a nice bit of applause from the fans. After some showboating it’s off to Chavo vs. Benjamin. Los Guerreros take over on the arm of Shelton and use better teamwork. Shelton gets in a slam and clothesline on Chavo but Eddie gets in a shot to the back and Los Guerreros take over again.

Chavo chokes him with the tag rope and Eddie gets in some shots on the floor. Slingshot hilo gets two. Off to Haas who gets Eddie into the corner and Shelton uses the rope to choke away as well. Nice little bit of storytelling there. Eddie gets caught in the double team move where Shelton jumps over Charlie and lands on Eddie’s back for two. A pair of suplexes get two for Charlie.

Benjamin comes in with a chinlock and uses a leg lace to keep Eddie in the ring. Shelton comes back in with a kind of powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as Cole sets up Tazz to explain how Shelton is making this hold more effective. See? Why can’t he do that with Booker and Lawler? Charlie bends Eddie’s back over his knee but Eddie comes out of it with a headscissors in a cool counter.

Hot tag to Chavo and he cleans house. Suplex gets two on Charlie. Shelton powerbombs the tar out of Chavo and everything breaks down. Three Amigos to Charlie but Eddie has to be sent out. Chavo gets a delayed two on Haas so Eddie Frog Splashes him so Chavo can get another two. He tries a suplex to Charlie but Shelton hooks the foot and it’s the Wrestlemania 5 ending as the champions retain.

Rating: B-. Bad ending to a good match here. Like I said, there’s no real need for a story here because you can give four talented guys fifteen minutes and you’re going to get a good match. Tag matches and cruiserweight matches to open a show are great choices. Tag matches with cruiserweight style guys are even better choices. Good stuff here but the ending wasn’t great.

Here’s an unrelated title defense at Vengeance 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Rey is Cruiserweight Champion here too. The heels’ name is just great. The fans chant USA for four Americans. Ok then. Haas keeps beating Rey. This is kind of strange to see. Rey was still just the king of the cruiserweights at this point and not yet the A-list guy that he would become better known as. Kidman gets the hot tag and not much happens because of it. The 619 is blocked and my intelligence is spared for a little bit.

Kidman busts out a Shooting Star Press to the floor to take out the champions. The fans think they should worship human waste apparently. Rey gets the other hot tag but the referee is distracted. The crowd boos the heck out of that. Wow I’m surprised they’re so into this one. Hardly a bad thing but very surprising. Rey comes in and cleans house. What kind of an expression is that anyway? Rey isn’t dusting and vacuuming but it makes perfect sense to call it that. What sense does that make?

Haas takes the 619 and the seated senton. Benjamin kicks Rey in the head for two. Solid match here. In a sweet spot, Haas is on top and Kidman launches Rey up to the top for a hurricanrana. AWESOME looking and the crowd loses it when he kicks out. Dragon Whip, which is an awesome name, puts Kidman down. With Kidman on the floor, Benjamin gets a tag that Rey doesn’t see while Rey is on Haas’ shoulders. Benjamin hits a springboard clothesline to combine with the powerbomb for the pin. Sweet ending.

Rating: B+. Very fun and flat out surprising win here. This is what happens when you let guys have time and show off: It flat out works. They were all over the place and got the fans into it. This was the basic idea of letting four talented wrestlers tear the house down and entertain the fans. Great match and fun as all goodness.

Back to Los Guerreros on Smackdown, September 18, 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The fans loudly cheer for Eddie who starts with Benjamin. They go to the mat first of course and it’s off to Chavo. This is Chavo’s first match after a torn bicep. The champs take over on Eddie but he fights out of the corner, hitting a belly to belly on Shelton to bring in Chavo. Chavo gets a wicked headscissors to send Benjamin to the floor where Los Guerreros hit stereo dives to take both guys out.

Back with the challengers still in control, beating Charlie down. Eddie gets taken into the wrong corner and double teamed for a bit. It doesn’t last long as he fights out and brings in Chavo. Shelton kicks his head off and Haas works on the bad arm. Northern lights suplex gets two for Shelton.

Back to Haas and the arm work continues. It’s so weird to hear Tazz being professional, talking about his past experience in the ring with the same injury and snapping off intricacies in moves being done. Chavo counters a double team move into a dropkick to Haas and it’s hot tag Eddie. There are Three Amigos but Haas escapes the third and hits a German.

Eddie gets a sweet arm drag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. Frog splash is broken up and the second attempt is rolled through because Haas moved. Haas grabs some chairs but Chavo pops up to take out Shelton with a dropkick into the chair into the knee. The Guerreros hit something that looked like Haas broke his freaking neck. Brainbuster sets up the Frog Splash and we have new champions.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid match here as both teams know each other very well. They would hold the belts for a little while before the Bashams took them. Chavo would turn heel on Eddie but lose at the Rumble before Eddie would win the world title in February. Anyway pretty fun match here and fine for a TV tag title change.

We’ll get away from the titles for a bit with this match at No Way Out 2004.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Bradshaw has a bad arm. Both of these teams would split up in less than six weeks. It’s weird hearing about Heat being on Spike TV. Shelton immediately takes Farrooq down to the mat as it’s technical vs. power here. Wow it’s hard to believe Bradshaw was six months from being world champion and would hold it for the better part of a year.

The heels work over Farrooq’s arm as I guess they want the APA to match. Hot tag finally gets Bradshaw in as I wonder how many of these tags are actually hot. BIG powerbomb from Bradshaw gets two. Farrooq eats post outside as Bradshaw hits a fall away slam off the top on Shelton for two. Clothesline From JBL with the bad arm and Shelton hits a big superkick to end it.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here that was just ok. Basic power vs. speed match here which wasn’t anything that bad but it wasn’t worth paying to see I wouldn’t think. With both teams splitting so soon after this, the winners due to the Draft and Farrooq retiring, this wasn’t really of any importance at all. Not bad though, but I could see this same match on a house show probably.

One last shot at the titles at Wrestlemania XX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Too Cool vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

That would be Scotty and Rikishi who are defending coming in. One fall to a finish again. Bradshaw and Shelton start things off with the Texan taking him down with a shoulder and getting two off an elbow drop. Doug Basham comes in to beat up Shelton now and it’s off to Danny. Shelton tags in Haas for a slam onto Haas’ knee in a cool spot. Scotty comes in to fight Charlie as this is going nowhere.

In another creative spot, Scotty skins the cat but lands in the Shelton jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Scotty for two. Charlie tags off to Doug for a kick to Scotty’s face. The hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house and knocks Shelton to the floor to break up the German suplex. Charlie gets a Stinkface and Bradshaw launches Doug to the floor with a fallaway slam. There’s the Clothesline to Danny but Bradshaw walks into a Samoan Drop. Rikishi sits on Danny to end it and retain.

Rating: D. Whatever man. Seriously, I wouldn’t have remembered this match if you put a gun to my head, just like with the other tag title match. They’re just not interesting at all and there was nothing here to remember at all. There needed to be just one set of tag belts at this point and these matches make it painfully obvious.

The team would be broken up by the Brand Split with Haas staying on Smackdown and Benjamin going to Raw. The team would finally get back together in late 2006 so we’ll pick things up at New Year’s Revolution 2007 with the team in a Tag Team Turmoil match.

Tag Team Turmoil

The idea here is a gauntlet match where you have two teams start and they have a match, then the winners face the next team. This was a bonus match that was thrown on so this is really just to fill in time. The winners get a future tag title shot. There are five teams in this and the first two are the Highlanders and the World’s Greatest Tag Team.

Roddy Piper has cancer here, which is a point as the Highlanders are also from Scotland. The WGTT are Benjamin and Haas for those of you that aren’t familiar with them. They really were good. Rory shows off his wrestling abilities and outmoves Shelton. That’s pretty impressive actually. Their names are Rory and Robbie in case you didn’t know that either.

After a bit of a brawl we have Shelton hooking a superplex from the top rope to put the Highlanders out. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Jim Duggan are a team here. Why’s that? I have no idea at all but it was a flat out terrible time for the tag belts back in the day so there you are. This one is far shorter as Duggan does most of the work and gets beaten down before getting a hot tag after about a minute or two.

Crazy comes in and cleans house but the Mexican gets a German suplex from the American for the pin. And people say WWE isn’t international. Cade and Murdoch are in next. They would soon become the flavor of the month in the tag division, meaning no one cared about them but they were pushed anyway as there was no one else around at all to do it otherwise.

They slow it down a lot here and take it to the mat with the rednecks dominating. That makes sense at least as we have the WGTT in trouble here. They were ok I guess but I never really could get into them. Vince had a deep infatuation with rednecks and hillbillies over the years though. Not quite to musclemen levels but close enough. Haas gets Murdoch in the Haas of Pain which was always awesome but Cade jumps him off the top to break it up and get the pin.

Crime Time, the hot team at the moment comes out to a great pop. JTG just bleeds charisma. He’s talented too so I’d pick him as the more talented of the two. Lawler actually has some information as these are the final two teams in this shindig. The heels are dominating early on here if you can call this early on. More or less at this point it’s just a regular tag team which is ok I guess.

Shad gets the hot tag and cleans ring. This was back when the team was interesting and funny rather than being the only face team on the roster and therefore over by requirement. They hit their assisted neckbreaker on Cade to win it. They never used the title shot as they were released a bit before it.

Rating: C. It ran for a bit too long but seeing four actual teams out there is a nice sign. This was ok but nothing great though. The pacing was fine though and it wasn’t bad at all for a gimmick match. This was meant to fill in time and it did its job rather well indeed. If nothing else, you can see how bad the tag team division is at this point.

The team would feud with the also reunited Hardys, including this match at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

This should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.

The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.

Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.

Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.

Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.

Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.

Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.

After splitting throughout 2008, the team would briefly reunited in 2009, including this match on Smackdown, May 29, 2009.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Cryme Tyme

For those of you who forget, this would be Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. JTG/Shad Gaspard in a match set up because Cryme Tyme cost the other two a match last night on Superstars. Charlie and JTG get things going with Charlie quickly taking it to the mat and pounding away. JTG comes back with a quick Fameasser for two before bringing in Shad for some big generic power. Shad charges into a pair of knees in the corner and it’s off to Benjamin for a slugout.

Shelton tries a go behind but Shad easily powers him into the corner before taking Shelton down with a shoulder block. Gaspard launches JTG onto Shelton in a splash for two but Haas interference lets the actually challenging team take over. We take a break and come back with Charlie getting two before bringing Benjamin back in. Oh and before I forget: Haas and Benjamin are officially “the team formerly known as the World’s Greatest Tag Team.” I for one certainly care am more interested in them now.

Shelton hooks on a neck crank for a few moments before it’s back off to Charlie. He drives some knees into JTG’s shoulder while talking a lot of trash. Back to Shelton who pounds away in the corner but misses a splash. JTG goes for a tag but gets caught in a sweet German suplex for two. Charlie comes in again but gets kicked in the knee and taken down with a spinning clothesline, allowing for the hot tag to Shad. A big powerslam gets two on Shelton as everything breaks down. Benjamin counters a backdrop and hits Paydirt (jumping downward spiral) for the pin on Shad.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, Cryme Tyme sucked and there isn’t much else to it. The guys just weren’t that talented or interesting at all and it really started to show. How JTG is still employed in the year 2013 is beyond me, especially given that Shelton and Charlie didn’t make it to the end of 2010.

After some time on the indies, Haas and Benjamin went over to ROH in late 2010. Here they are on ROH TV, September 24, 2011.

Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It’s annoying but I guess it’s something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.

There’s the bell and it’s been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.

Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can’t hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.

Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there’s a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.

A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it’s broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude’s back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but dude, this was the best they could do? This is supposed to be the big and epic tag team division that is the best in the world? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not a classic or anything at all. I’ve definitely seen better stuff on Raw or Smackdown this year. I saw a match live that was better than this and I can’t even remember who were partnering with Orton and Christian.

And again on ROH TV, November 5, 2011.

Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

This is one of those Proving Ground matches, meaning if the champions (Haas and Benjamin) lose, Coleman and Alexander get a title shot in something 60 days. There’s a 15 minute time limit here. Alexander has the blonde mowhawk. Got it. Coleman vs. Benjamin starts us off. Benjamin works on the arm to start and Coleman can’t get anything going. He’s trying though so give him some points for that. Coleman manages to send him to the corner and gets a surprised look from Shelton.

Off to Haas vs. Alexander who is a bit more physical than his partner. Benjamin gets a blind tag in and kicks Alexander down for two. The champs have never really been in trouble at all. Haas works over the knee as we take a break. Back with Alexander fighting out of something by Benjamin but Shelton kicks him down with ease. Haas works on a leg lock but eventually walks into a bad tornado DDT.

We’re over ten minutes in now if this is in real time. Double tag brings in Coleman and Benjamin who is taken down by a leg lariat for two. We have less than four minutes according to Kelly. The non-champions speed things up and hit a double dropkick to send Haas into the barricade. Three minutes left. Their clock is about 10 seconds off but it’s close enough. There’s a double powerbomb to Coleman and we’re done at 12:55.

Rating: C. Uh…so? The champions beat the newcomers with their finishing move. Is this supposed to be surprising in a way or something? If Coleman and Alexander were worth something they would be on the roster already. Not a bad match or anything but it’s not like anything changes now or in the future. I don’t mean it hurt anything but it didn’t change things at all.

One last match at ROH Border Wars 2012.

Tag Titles: Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Brisco Brothers

The Briscos (defending) are Mark and Jay and have no relation to Jack and Jerry Briscoe. This is fight without honor, meaning it’s a street fight. It’s also unsanctioned, although it can somehow be for the promotion’s tag titles. There’s no Mark Brisco to start so apparently Jay is going to try to do this on his own. Actually, cue Mark in hockey gear with some stick shots to the back of Haas’ head. The brawl is on as the referee has to get rid of those stupid streamers.

Mark hits Haas in the throat with the hockey stick and the Briscos clean house. With the challengers on the floor and the announcer doing the intros, Mark dives on both guys as the brawl really gets going. Back in and the Briscos double team Benjamin as this has been one sided so far. Charlie pulls Shelton to the floor, only to be caught by a double baseball slide from the champions.

Shelton has a chair thrown onto his back as it’s kind of hard to keep track of the insanity. Back in and Haas gets an exploder suplex for two on Jay before choking him with his shirt. Haas charges at him, only to be caught in a downward spiral right into a chair wedged between the ropes. Shelton comes back in (there aren’t any tags in this) and blasts Jay down, only to have Mark save him from a chair shot. We go back to the floor where Jay catapults Charlie face first into the post as the champions continue to dominate.

Haas is busted open as Mark hits a running swanton off the apron onto Benjamin. An attempt at a second one misses (kind of?) but Mark brings in a wheel from a wheelchair. Jay pounds on Charlie in the ring as Mark goes up, only to be flipped off the top and through a table at ringside. A jawbreaker hits Jay but he comes back with a Death Valley Driver on Shelton. Jay goes up but gets distracted by Haas, allowing Shelton to run up the corner and suplex him down.

Shelton hits a spinebuster off the top for two on Jay as the challengers take over for the first time. Mark tries to come back in with the hockey stick but gets knocked back into the barricade. Charlie and Shelton try to crotch Jay on the post again but Mark makes the save. Mark starts cleaning house and flips Charlie off the top followed by a top rope elbow for two. Jay sends Benjamin to the floor as the fans want tables. Naturally ask and you will receive, as Jay sets one up on the floor.

Jay and Shelton brawl on the apron with Jay loading up something on his hand, only to have Shelton load up a German off the apron. Jay holds on to avoid a nasty case of death, only to hook an electric chair drop to send Jay through the table. Back in the ring Charlie sprays something on a rag and chokes Mark out with it for the pin and titles. It appeared to be ether or something like that.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid brawl and pretty easily the match of the night to this point. It’s not a great match or anything like that and the ending came out of nowhere, but it goes along with the no honor thing. This doesn’t come off like a match ending a feud, but then again this isn’t the biggest show of the year or anything so it’s understandable. Good match but that’s about it.

Haas and Benjamin were a very good tag team and maybe the top team of their era. Their best days were at the beginning but they had some solid efforts later on when they were on their various reunion tours. Unfortunately they were stuck with an AWFUL group of teams around them and became yet another big fish in a small pond, which happened far too often to tag teams in the 2000s. Check them out though if you like precision tag teams that seem to think as one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Thunder
Date: July 29, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 6,754
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

It’s another taped show, meaning we’re getting a lot of recaps from Monday’s trip back to the mid 80s. We’re closing in on Road Wild in a few weeks which looks like a more logical (well, more than the rest of the summer) show, albeit far more boring. Maybe they’ll let the wrestling dominate the show and it could be entertaining. And maybe I’ll grow wings and fly through a tree made of locusts and encounter the Great Potato. Let’s get to it.

Tenay and Larry do their usual intro that we can’t see.

We get a LONG video (same one from Monday), detailing the history between Nash and Hogan.

KISS is coming to Nitro on August 23.

The Cat vs. Barry Darsow

Miller says he can win this in less than five minutes. Darsow takes him down by the leg to start like a smart guy should. Back up and Miller goes to the eyes to take over, only to get slammed right back down. Barry slugs him down as the crowd looks at something off camera. More hammering ensues until Miller finally gets in a shot to the throat and chokes in the corner. Onoo gets in a few kicks of his own but Barry grabs a belly to back suplex for two. The referee argues with Darsow over something though, allowing Cat to superkick him with the red slipper for the pin.

Rating: D-. So it’s heel vs. heel with Barry Darsow being the hope for the wrestling world? We’re definitely in the dark days of a taped Thunder here and I can’t imagine things are going to get much better as things go on. Miller needs to do something different in his matches though as this is getting really repetitive.

Goldberg Crush Em video.

We see Rodman kidnapping Gorgeous George on Nitro.

Diamond Dallas Page was on Hollywood Squares.

Buff Bagwell vs. Erik Watts

They pose at each other to start as this really isn’t waking up the crowd. Erik takes him into the corner and chokes a lot until Buff grabs an armdrag. A clothesline puts Watts on the floor before slapping him in the jaw back inside. Buff fires off right hands in the corner but gets dropped down into a hot shot. Riveting stuff here people. Erik hammers away with knees to the ribs and forearms to the back as you can hear the crowd just dying. A bad looking but still acceptable standing moonsault gets two on Buff and we hit the chinlock. Back from a break with the hold still on and Buff’s arm dropping twice.

Watts knees him in the ribs for two and we’re back to the chinlock. Bagwell’s comeback consists of a clothesline and cross body for two before Erik clotheslines him down again. He misses a charge in the corner though, only to hold onto the ropes to avoid a Bagwell charge. A Vader Bomb hits feet though and Buff starts his real comeback. After another barrage of clotheslines and punches, he nails the Blockbuster and gets the pin, despite Cat running down to try to break it up.

Rating: D-. Oh no they’re not trying tonight. This is clearly one of those shows where it’s just thrown together with the hopes that not many people are watching. Considering that we’re over half an hour into this show and everything new so far has been about a bad midcard feud, you can tell what kind of a show we’re in for.

Bagwell nails Sonny after bailing from Miller.

Here’s the whole (albeit short) Goldberg vs. Hennig match from Nitro.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Chad Brock will perform on Nitro, August 9.

Booker T. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Before the match, Page actually makes Yo Mama jokes about Booker. You think I can make this stuff up? Bigelow misses an early splash but Booker charges into a boot in the corner. The big man hammers away, only to miss the falling headbutt. Booker hammers away but Bigelow swats a kick away and suplexes him down.

Page and Bigelow take turns choking until Booker rolls outside so Page can whip him into the barricade. Back in and Bigelow keeps hammering away until he misses a charge, allowing Booker to side suplex him as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting two kicks, drawing in the Triad for the DQ. The post break stuff wasn’t even 45 seconds, meaning not enough was shown to rate it. It was basically a Bigelow squash until the break though.

Post match the Triad triple teams Booker until Stevie Ray comes out with a chair. After some trash talk, Booker says he wants his brother back but not with that NWO shirt on. Stevie throws it into the crowd and Harlem Heat is back. My goodness we actually had some storyline development on this show.

Here’s everything related to Hogan/Sting/Sid/Nash from Nitro, including the FULL main event. This eats up about half an hour, not counting commercials.

Road Wild ad.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon/Ric Flair

This is the main event people and we have about fifteen minutes left in the show. Flair and Benoit get things going but Page gets in a cheap shot. Everything breaks down for and the good guys clear the ring (of course). We settle down to Saturn vs. Kanyon with Saturn getting knocked down and cradled for two. He comes right back with a low blow and middle rope forearm (nice one too) before snapping off a German.

Here’s Benoit for a backdrop and two before he drop toeholds Kanyon down, allowing his partners to drop an elbow apiece. Dean comes in for his leg lariat as the young guys take over. Page breaks up a belly to back suplex though and it’s a double tag to Saturn and Flair. It’s Saturn taking over and hammering away in the corner until Kanyon gets in a cheap shot, setting up a Russian leg sweep off the middle rope for a nice spot to take us to a break. Back with Page Rock Bottoming Saturn before it’s off to Kanyon for a reverse powerbomb out of the corner.

Page comes back in with a front facelock, setting up the required missed tag thanks to a Flair distraction. Page knocks Benoit and Malenko off the apron before stomping on Saturn, only to miss a splash. The hot tag brings in Benoit to face Kanyon as the Canadian starts cleaning house. Flair and Kanyon are rammed together and the dragon suplex puts Kanyon down again. The Swan Dive connects on Kanyon and everything breaks down. Bigelow’s top rope headbutt hits Kanyon by mistake but Asya gives Flair an object to knock Benoit out, giving Kanyon’s unconscious body the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it came at the end of a worthless show. However, it’s yet another loss for the youth movement which is more or less done at this point. This worked well enough for the most part and was a decent enough main event, but I was done with this show a long time ago.

Shane Douglas comes out post match and says they’re taking WCW back. Maybe winning a match would help.

Overall Rating: D-. You could also go with a rating of “Nitro” because that’s what this show is about. Thunder has become a two hour version of WWF Metal or Jakked with mostly recaps and matches that don’t mean a thing. Harlem Heat reuniting will be covered on Nitro and didn’t need to be here, especially on a show this worthless. Over a third of the content on this show was spent on recaps from Nitro and another third was dedicated to Bagwell vs. Cat. Let that sink in for a minute.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/