Thunder Date: June 24, 1999
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
Bash at the Beach seems miles away at this point as I don’t think anything has been announced save for the main event tag match. Other than that I’m sure we’ll get something in the old vs. new story, presumably with Bagwell getting a big match and in theory a major win over an older guy. Yeah I don’t see it happening either. Let’s get to it.
The announcers do their opening stuff and Tenay plugs the PPV.
Here’s the birthday party and subsequent caking between the rappers and the cowboys from Monday.
Speaking of the cowboys, here they are to perform Rap Is Crap live. I think we’ve hit our high point.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis
The fans are entirely behind Eddie here. Eddie mocks taking the LWO shirt off to Psychosis before running into a clothesline. A hurricanrana out of the corner drops Eddie again and Psychosis crotches him on the top for good measure. Psychosis kicks Guerrero to the floor and follows him out with a big dive. The announcers are already ignoring this to talk about the Hummer driver.
Back in and Eddie hurricanranas Psychosis down and it’s already back to the floor. Psychosis goes into the steps and gets crushed between the steps and post for a dropkick. The slingshot hilo has Psychosis in even more trouble and Eddie hooks an abdominal stretch as we take a break. Back with Guerrero holding a leg lock but being thrown into the air for a big crash a few seconds later.
That’s fine with Eddie as he goes right back to the leg to take over. He bridges back on the leg in a painful looking hold before taking it back outside, only to be sent into the barricade. They head inside again with Eddie nailing a nice leg lariat. Eddie dives into an atomic drop and gets kicked off the apron and to the floor. A slingshot moonsault drops Guerrero again and it’s back into the ring. Eddie’s tornado DDT is countered and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. Psychosis misses a high cross body though and the Frog Splash is enough for the pin.
Rating: B. This is the kind of stuff that made WCW fans stick around as long as they did. Yeah there’s a bunch of nonsense going on and the old guys won’t just go away and let the younger generation take over, but every so often you get a ten to fifteen minute match like this that just takes off and entertains the heck out of you. Really good stuff here and more proof that Eddie was awesome.
Ric Flair and company convince Evan Karagias to lay down for David tonight to make David 6-0, because he’s going to break Goldberg’s record.
Clip from Monday of Nash and Sting chasing off Savage and Sid, followed by Nash implying Sting was driving the Hummer.
Clip from Monday of Luger saving Sting from Sid’s powerbomb to end the show. Again, where did Nash go to?
Actually he’s right here with something to say. He talks about being an Outsider a few years ago and here he is the World Champion and still an outsider. WCW doesn’t want him to have the title and they’re throwing everyone they can at him. First he beat Savage so Randy brought in Sid. Now those two have brought in Sting, who Nash will tag with even though he doesn’t trust him. This actually hasn’t bad.
Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn
For some reason Benoit and Saturn come out to Malenko’s music. Benoit and Taylor get things going with Taylor backing him into the corner but stopping to stare at the Canadian. Taylor takes him down to the mat with a test of strength but Benoit bridges off the mat. Dave can’t even break the bridge by jumping onto Benoit in an always cool looking display of strength.
Benoit comes back with some dropkicks to send Taylor outside and it’s off to Finlay and Saturn. The t-bone suplex doesn’t quite work for Saturn as he falls backwards while throwing Finlay but everything breaks down to send the Europeans out to the floor. Saturn keeps up the mistakes by superkicking Finlay in the ribs to knock him into a German suplex. Fit easily sends Benoit into the corner though as we take a break.
Back with Finlay putting Benoit in a half crab before Taylor comes in to grab the other leg for good measure. A belly to back gets two for Finlay and it’s back to Dave as the fans chant for Benoit. The heels take turns on Benoit with Finlay talking his usual trash. An Earthquake splash keeps Benoit in trouble but Saturn chases an interfering Taylor away.
Benoit slips off Finlay’s shoulders and nails Taylor, allowing for the hot tag to Saturn. Perry slips out of a tilt-a-whirl slam and messes up the landing again. What is with him tonight? Finlay plants him with the rolling fireman’s carry but Saturn pops up with the Death Valley Driver on Taylor. Not that it matters as Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Dave for the pin.
Rating: C+. Another good match here as the wrestling is on fire tonight. Taylor was an underused guy who was great at making others look great. Finlay was his usual self here and that’s exactly the kind of guys you want in there with a tag team like Benoit and Saturn when they’re in the middle of a solid push. What was with all of Saturn’s botches though? He never does that.
Steve Regal returns to give the losers a pep talk.
Clip of the ending to the old vs. new tag match from Monday.
Here are Flair and Asya for a chat with Gene. Flair has some business to take care of by making Benoit/Saturn vs. Page/Kanyon for the Tag Team Titles at Bash at the Beach. As for tonight, we’re going to stomp out some problems so it’s Bagwell/Malenko vs. Savage/Sid. That leaves him with Nash, but he’s saving a surprise for Monday in Chicago. Flair keeps shouting TURN ON THE POWER to end this.
Curt Hennig vs. Lenny Lane
Lane quickly tries to run but Duncum throws him back in. Lenny actually scores with a slam and mocks the whole cowboy thing. As you would expect, Hennig pops up and throws Lenny into the corner for some hard chops. We get the old standards from Hennig including the neck snap and dropkick before a big chop drops Lane again. Hennig stomps on the ribs….and the match is stopped? Ah Lodi threw in the towel to save his buddy. Total squash.
Lodi gets a Hennigplex for his efforts.
Here are Savage, Sid and the chicks with something to say. Randy insists that none of the girls were driving the Hummer, which should be obvious given that they were outside the limo when it was crushed. Savage thinks it might have been Hall or even Sting. Sid babbles about huting Nash and Sting and that’s about it.
Evan Karagias vs. David Flair
Now remember, Evan is supposed to be tanking. They trade armbars on the mat to start until Evan scores with an armdrag. A quick suplex drops David again but Anderson tells him to start throwing it. Evan responds by powerslamming David, only to have Ric get up on the apron for a distraction. Now Asya offers a distraction so Anderson can slip David the taser to knock Evan out. The Figure Four makes David I think 6-0.
Hugh Morrus vs. Van Hammer
Hardcore match. Morrus hammers away with trashcan lids to start before using the trashcan itself. A big slam onto the can has Hammer in even more trouble so Hugh goes up, only to slip off and run into a lid shot from Hammer, drawing a Flair Flop. Hammer puts on his jacket, nails a lariat, and puts the jacket on the turnbuckle. We get a ladder set up in the corner but Hugh sends Hammer into it for a big crash.
A trashcan shot to the head busts Hammer open so it’s time for a wide angle. Hugh and Hart set up a table on the floor so Morrus can load up No Laughing Matter….but Flair comes out and stops the match. He says there will be no more hardcore matches (SWEET) and gets in an argument with Morrus, allowing Hammer to put him through the table and walk off.
Rating: D. Uh…yeah. Between Morrus literally running into a shot from a trashcan lid to the ending, I’m not sure what they were going for with something like this. These guys are both wandering around with nothing to do and now they’re taking away the only thing they have going on. At least it’s nothing that needs to be sticking around so it’s hard to complain.
Randy Savage/Sid Vicious vs. Buff Bagwell/Dean Malenko
I don’t see this ending well. Savage and Bagwell get things going with Buff already posing. We keep up the stalling even longer until they lock up against the ropes. Time for more posing though as we’re somehow almost two minutes into the match. A dropkick puts Randy down and it’s off to Malenko. We get an actually nice amateur sequence but it’s off to Sid to put Malenko in trouble. Malenko slides through the ropes and brings in Buff for some double teaming but Savage knees Buff in the back. A chokeslam plants Bagwell and a legdrop gets two. The fans want Goldberg but get Savage instead.
Randy suckers Dean in so the villains can double team. Sid hammers away in the corner but Madusa’s interference goes bad with Savage nailing her by mistake. The hot tag brings in Dean with a cross body getting two on Savage. Everything breaks down and Miss Madness sunset flips Dean for no apparent reason. Dean puts her in the Cloverleaf so Savage can nail him from behind. Sid plants Dean with a powerbomb and Savage nails Nick Patrick for the DQ.
Rating: D+. The match had its moments but you were just waiting for the old guys to destroy the younger generation. I know you don’t want Sid or Savage to take a fall here but did the have to destroy these two? Of course they did because this is WCW with two guys that could move up the card.
Post match Savage and Sid destroy Mickie Jay for coming out to try and keep things in line. Savage says the powerbomb is for Nash and rants a lot to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The first two matches were really solid but things went downhill in a hurry after that. As usual, the wrestlers can carry the show but the “stories” drag it down a cliff. That being said, the opening matches made this one of the best episodes in a good while, but I gave up hope for this company a long time ago.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series 2005 Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz
The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.
The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.
Booker T vs. Chris Benoit
This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.
After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.
Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.
A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.
Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.
Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina
Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.
Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.
As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.
Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.
Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.
Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!
Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.
We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.
Ric Flair vs. HHH
Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.
A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.
HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.
Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.
Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.
For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?
HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.
Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.
Flair is taken out on a stretcher.
Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.
Trish and Mickie do an online interview.
Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.
Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.
We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle
Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?
Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.
Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.
The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.
A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.
Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.
Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long
Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.
We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.
Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.
Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.
The Raw guys do the same thing.
We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.
Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown
Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,
Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield
Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.
Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.
Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.
Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.
A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.
Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.
Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.
To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.
So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.
The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.
Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.
The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.
Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.
Ratings Comparison
Booker T vs. Chris Benoit
Original: B
Redo: B-
Trish Stratus vs. Melina
Original: B
Redo: C-
HHH vs. Ric Flair
Original: B-
Redo: B+
John Cena vs. Kurt Angle
Original: B+
Redo: C
Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff
Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)
Redo: S (For Six Minutes)
Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw
Original: B
Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: B
I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004: I Still Like This Orton
Survivor Series 2004 Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s another year and the main thing that has changed is a few people rising up the card. For instance, Cena and Batista are about six months away from taking over the company while Orton is currently the top face on Raw, feuding with who else but HHH. Other than that we’ve got JBL as world champion which was pretty dreadful stuff. Hopefully this is more inspired than last year. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.
The set looks cool here as it’s made of six screens which I guess will act like the Tron tonight. That’s the annoying thing about WWE today: all of the shows look the same.
Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman
Spike is defending and is a heel here. This is one fall to a finish. Kidman hurt Chavo on a Shooting Star Press and seemed to be proud of it, which resulted in a heel turn for him. The other good thing here is that they don’t have to tag. That’s always a waste of time in these things as you just wait for things to break down. Kidman and Spike form a quick alliance, only to have Kidman dropkick the champ out to the floor.
Rey sends Kidman to the floor and it’s off to Rey vs. Chavo who are apparently friends at this point. Oh please, like these two could EVER get along. Rey spins Chavo around with a headscissors before Spike sends Rey into the corner and stomps away while screaming. Chavo comes back in and a double clothesline puts himself and Spike down. With Kidman on the apron, Rey hits a rana to send him out to the floor in a cool looking spot.
Back in and Rey tries the sitout bulldog on Chavo but Guerrero throws him onto Kidman in a seated senton. Chavo dives on both of them, leaving Spike standing ta….short actually. Anyway the champ dives on all of them but they step aside to let him crash. Chavo finally gets his hands on Billy back in the ring but Spike comes back in to break up a pinfall attempt.
Rey misses a moonsault over Spike’s head and gets thrown to the floor as a result. We get a Tower of Doom with everyone minus Rey involved, so Rey comes in and tries to steal a pin. Rey charges at Kidman but gets caught in a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two but Chavo breaks up the Shooting Star. Spike hits a running headbutt to Rey’s ribs but the Dudley Dog is broken up. 619 hits Spike but Billy breaks up the West Coast Pop. Chavo hits the Gory Bomb on Spike but Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes out Kidman and Spike steals the pin on Chavo to retain.
Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything here but it was fine for an opener. Rey was insanely popular still but Spike keeping the title was a great way to tick off the fans. There’s nothing wrong with a heel winning, as long as the opener fires up the crowd, which this did. Good choice.
Heidenreich is getting fired up by Heyman when Paul goes to get his jacket. Snitsky, another creepy heel of the day, comes in. He says he likes Heidenreich’s poetry and Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. There’s WAY too much deep breathing here. By the way, this was almost who Taker and Kane fought at Mania before the company woke up and stuck Orton against Taker instead.
Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian
Shelton is defending but the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s theme makes him far more awesome. Shelton is at the point in his career when he’s about to get on one of the biggest rolls in years but it never went anywhere past the IC Title. The champ cranks on the arm to start before they head to the mat. Keeping in mind that Shelton was a legit All-American wrestler, he’s just fine being on the mat with Christian.
Christian cranks on the arm but Shelton drops to the mat and immediately nips up which looked great. It didn’t do anything but it looked great. Christian talks trash and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Shelton skins the cat before hitting a great looking springboard clothesline for two. A HARD chop slows Benjamin down and Christian talks some more trash. Shelton counters a monkey flip by casually landing on his feet and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two.
We head to the floor for a quick distraction by Tomko but Christian gets punched in the face instead. Tomko tries to cheat again and this time the distraction is enough to let Christian get in a shot. Why that creepy little bas…..never mind. A cross body gets two for Shelton but Christian immediately puts him back down with a neckbreaker. Off to a chinlock (Tomko: “BREAK HIS NECK!”) by Christian and he launches Benjamin to the floor as he tries to break the hold.
Shelton comes back with a hard whip into the corner to put Christian down. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ as does a slingshot reverse suplex (called a reverse fisherman’s suplex by JR for some reason). Benjamin misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught in a reverse DDT for two. Tomko slides the belt in (hitting the referee in the foot in the process) but Shelton kicks Christian in the face.
The referee sees Christian holding the belt, which lets Benjamin hit a top rope clothesline for two. As the belt is being put out, Tomko kicks Benjamin in the face for two. The Exploder Suplex (a snap floatover T-Bone suplex which is Benjamin’s finisher) is countered but Benjamin kicks Tomko down. The Unprettier is countered into the Exploder for the pin to keep the title on Benjamin.
Rating: B. I really got into this match at the end even though Christian didn’t have much of a chance at winning. The Tomko and belt stuff didn’t help anything but they had to try to slow Shelton down a bit. Benjamin was in the beginning of a very long run with the belt that would last until June, which I think was the longest reign in about six years.
Really good match here as Christian put Shelton over strong. There’s a reason this guy basically had the world title waiting for him on a plate whenever he stepped up enough to take it, but that never happened for various reasons. Namely he just stopped trying and coasted on his reputation, but that’s another story.
Angle complains to Edge about something Edge wrote in his book about Angle. Kurt makes fun of Edge for never winning the world title. Just wait another fifteen months or so Kurtski. They trade some insults before Kurt leaves and runs into Eugene. Eugene lists off (slowly) some of Angle’s accomplishments before singing the You Suck version of his theme song.
Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero
Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak
Eddie Guerrer, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show
Eddie and Angle have been feuding since Wrestlemania, Carlito debuted and beat Cena for the US Title before injuring Cena in a nightclub (or having someone do it. The attacker was never revealed I don’t think but it might have been Carlito’s buddy Jesus. Make your own jokes because Cena destroyed Jesus at Armageddon), Show is feuding with Reigns and Jindrak and Angle for shaving his head, and Van Dam is there as a warm body.
Before the bell, Cena chases Carlito and Jesus to the back and gets in a brawl with them. Carlito and Jesus steal a car and speed away, which is an elimination apparently. Back at ringside there’s a big brawl until Show (on a bad ankle) pulls Jindrak into the ring. Here’s Cena back to the ring to make it 4-3. Off to Van Dam who hits a spin kick before it’s off to Eddie for the slingshot hilo, followed by Rolling Thunder from Van Dam.
Eddie suplexes Jindrak down and armdrags Reigns as he headscissors Jindrak in a cool move. Angle comes in to stop his team’s bleeding but it’s quickly back to Reigns for a bunch of backbreakers for two. Off to Jindrak for a full nelson but Eddie sends him into the buckle. Eddie dives for the corner but Angle literally tackles Guerrero to break it up. Kurt hits a belly to belly before bringing in Reigns for more stomping.
Off to a chinlock from Jindrak but Eddie eventually grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Angle again blocks the tag and puts on a front facelock. One thing to note here: the entire time the hold is on, Cena is reaching out for a tag and encouraging Eddie. It doesn’t mean much, but it helps things from getting really boring. Little things like that can make a big difference. Watch guys like Rock and Hogan when they’re on the apron in tag matches. They’re ALWAYS doing something, even if it’s minor like clapping. It can make a difference.
Jindrak comes in but Eddie knocks him away and it’s off to Van Dam. Rob goes off (Cole: “He’s supple!”) and hits an enziguri on Angle to set up the Five Star but Jindrak pulls him away. The Splash hits Jindrak, allowing Angle to roll up Rob (using the ropes) for the pin. Angle heads to the floor so Eddie rolls up the illegal Jindrak, using the ropes as well, for an elimination to make it 3-2 (Eddie/Show/Cena vs. Reigns/Angle).
Eddie tells Angle to bring it on and there go the straps. Eddie tags in Show, making Angle tag in Reigns. Reigns gets in one or two shots but a chokeslam beats him quickly. Kurt rolls through a chokeslam into the ankle lock but Show sends him through the ropes to escape. Angle starts to walk up the aisle but Van Dam is waiting on him. Kurt backs up while still looking at RVD, and backs into Show. He reaches up to see how tall what he backed into is and shakes his head. Show throws Kurt back in to face Cena (in for the first time legally) and it’s an FU and Frog Splash for the final elimination.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t a good match but it was entertaining, which is more than you got from almost all of last year’s show. I’m guessing Cena and Carlito were injured as they didn’t do anything for the most part. Angle was great here and the look on his face when he backed into Big Show always makes me chuckle. Fun match here which is what you need sometimes.
Maven, who for some reason likely related to drug intoxication is in the main event tonight, offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach (the West Virginia accent was a killer for him) but Snitsky jumps Maven and Maven is badly busted open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized OH SNAP WE PUT MAVEN IN A MAIN EVENT!
Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, where Heidenreich is the latest guy to try to kill Taker at Paul Heyman’s direction. This was one of those matches where they were trying to make it seem like Undertaker was in trouble but Heidenreich comes off like the villain in the fifth direct to video sequel in a horror series that has overstayed its welcome by two movies.
Heidenreich vs. Undertaker
Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants. Taker does the big long entrance as is his custom. Taker http://onhealthy.net/product-category/analgesics/ stares at Heidenreich for awhile before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Taker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Taker against the post again and we head to the floor.
Heidenreich pounds away on Taker against the barricade while shouting that he can beat Undertaker. Taker again shrugs that off and hits the legdrop on the apron for two back in the ring. Old School hits the second time followed by a modified Downward Spiral for two. A big boot misses Heidenreich in the corner and it’s time for more punching on the floor. This isn’t one of those matches where the fans are worried about Undertaker as I don’t think anyone believes Heidenreich is a real threat.
A kick to Taker’s face sets up a chinlock and a clothesline for two. Another clothesline stops Taker’s comeback but a suplex stops the stopping of the comeback. Heidenreich sends him to the apron but Taker stuns him on the top rope. Taker channels his inner Kane (he had the name first) and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back in and Snake Eyes/the big boot takes Heidenreich down again.
The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Taker’s arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Taker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. Chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.
Rating: D. Like I said at the end of the day, did ANYONE buy Heidenreich as a real threat to Taker? The guy just wasn’t that good and he came off as more silly than a serious threat. Not much to see here and Heidenreich never got higher than he did in this match. Taker would move on to a much better feud with Orton soon enough.
Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.
We recap Trish vs. Lita, which is happening because….well who else are they going to fight? Lita got pregnant with Baby Kane but lost it because of Snitsky. Trish made fun of Lita for being a sl**, having a dead baby, and for being fat.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita
Trish is defending. Lita is all ticked off and punches Trish as soon as she gets in. Trish gets pounded even more and they head to the floor where Trish goes into a table and gets cracked with a chair 80 seconds into the match. Trish apparently has a broken nose. This wasn’t much, but these two would main event Raw in a few weeks. I don’t mean a match that went on last and then they had the promo that closed the show. I mean they spent the whole show hyping up Trish Stratus vs. Lita as the main event and Lita won the title and celebrated to end the show. It was actually pretty awesome.
Teddy comes in to congratulate Team Guerrero while Show is in a towel. Show hands the towel to Teddy and walks off. Cena: “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Teddy makes Cena vs. Carlito for the title on Thursday. Why is Cena in his underwear?
We recap Booker T vs. JBL. Booker pinned JBL in a tag match but JBL says Booker isn’t in his league. Booker beat up Orlando Jordan and pinned him to earn the title shot. There really isn’t much to this one.
Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T
Booker’s big yellow gloves don’t really do him any favors. Feeling out process to start as they trade really basic stuff for the first minute and a half or so. Booker knocks him to the floor and JBL gets the advantage coming back in. Back to the floor and Booker gets sent over the announce table. As they head back in, Jordan gets in a cheap shot to give JBL two. Still in first gear at best.
JBL hooks in a cobra clutch followed by an elbow drop and a chinlock. After that VICIOUS offense, Booker easily fights back and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orlando gets in some more cheap shots on the floor but JBL walks into a Book End out there to give Booker his first real advantage. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. They’re into second gear now but it’s just not an interesting match.
Booker goes up but another Jordan distraction lets JBL avoid a Houston Hangover (flip legdrop). Another sleeper by JBL is escaped but Jordan breaks up the ax kick. JBL hits a quick DDT for two and there goes the referee. Jordan comes in and pounds on Booker but Josh Matthews comes out to help Booker for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. JBL destroys Josh but there’s the side kick to JBL. The ax kick takes him down as well but Jordan takes out the referee. Booker hits the Book End on Jordan but JBL clocks Booker with the belt to retain.
Rating: D. This just didn’t work. Basically they were redoing the HHH/Flair run from 2003 with Jordan interfering every ten seconds and the matches sucking and the crowd groaning when JBL retains the title. JBL is a hilarious commentator and a solid main event jobber, but as champion the guy was painfully boring.
Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.
We recap the main event which is Team HHH vs. Team Orton. Team Orton has united to oppose HHH’s tyranny and the winning team gets to run Raw for a week each. Snitsky has said that when Team HHH wins, he’s coming for HHH’s world title, as has Edge. Batista has been looking at the title too. This gets the music video treatment for the night. Maven and Snitsky stick out like two shattered thumbs in this video.
Team HHH vs. Team Orton
HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky
Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven
HHH is world champion. Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.
Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the world title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. Great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? Make it clear that no matter how awesome he is, he’s not getting the title shot.
Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match for some reason. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a Swan Dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and Swan Dives both of them for two.
Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets put in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.
Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.
It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho at the moment with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.
Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge if you’re keeping score. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.
Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches away at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the Game hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.
Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble through means I don’t remember where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so when I watched this I was digging it at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked the legs out from under it.
Overall Rating: B-. There’s some dull stuff here, but the good stuff really is solid as you can see the new generation ready to burst through. The main event was entertaining stuff and the fans did react to Orton pinning HHH clean. The Smackdown side of things was pretty lame but other than that, this was a solid show and I was digging it at the end. Good show.
Ratings Comparison
Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian
Original: B
Redo: B
Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle
Original: D
Redo: C+
Undertaker vs. Heidenreich
Original: D
Redo: D
Trish Stratus vs. Lita
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T
Original: F
Redo: D
Team Orton vs. Team HHH
Original: B-
Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: B-
In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2003: The Rattlesnake Rides Away
Survivor Series 2003 Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Well as usual, a lot has changed around here since last time. Brock is a monster again, Goldberg is Raw Champion, Vince is back and fighting the Undertaker, and it’s Austin vs. Bischoff having surrogate teams fight for control of Raw. This is a big change of pace from last year and hopefully it’s a bit better as well. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about surviving. There’s an original concept.
Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar
Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit
Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train
Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.
Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.
Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).
Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.
Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.
This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.
It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.
Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.
Vince talks to Shane about how tonight it’s father and son against two brothers which is a somewhat cool idea, but the matches are both likely to suck so it’s hard to care. Shane says he feels sorry for Vince. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they have a really awkward laugh before Austin stops and glares at Vince. This is one of those moments where it was supposed to be big but came off as weird instead.
Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly
Lita is somewhat recently back after breaking her neck on a TV show and is challenging here. The fans immediately start cheering for Lita and she hits a quick clothesline to take over. Some knees to Molly’s chest sets up a suplex and a nipup by Lita. We head to the floor where Lita is sent into the barricade back first, which gets two for the champ back inside. Off to a chinlock by Molly followed by a dragon sleeper which doesn’t last that long.
Molly sends her into the corner and hits the Muta handspring elbow in one of the only times you’ll hear his name mentioned on WWE TV. Lita kicks Molly away and backflips to the top for a cross body and a two count. A rollup gets the same but Molly sidewalk slams her down for two. Molly tries a rana out of the corner and gets powerbombed down, but the Litasault misses. The Molly Go Round (flipping seated senton) surprisingly only gets two so Molly goes to expose a buckle. After a save is made by Lita, the champ sends her face first into the exposed buckle for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match itself was ok, but man alive Molly wasn’t that interesting to watch. I get that she’s a very technically competent wrestler and could do almost anything pretty well in the ring, but she was a black hole of charisma. Molly was just there most of the time, which doesn’t make for interesting matches at all.
We recap Kane vs. Shane. Kane, being all psycho, tombstoned Linda on the stage one night. Shane stood up for his mama and beat on Kane as much as he could, but it basically turned into a monster movie as Shane did all sorts of things to Kane but Kane just kept coming. Shane got his testicles electrocuted in a semi-famous bit in retaliation. Somehow this set up an ambulance match, which is a casket match but with an ambulance. This is one of those feuds that went on and on for MONTHS, apparently ticking off guys in the back because Shane wasn’t a full time wrestler but he was getting big spots on the card.
Shane McMahon vs. Kane
Shane immediately knocks him to the floor but Kane sends him into the steps to take him down. Shane gets the steps on top of Kane and pounds him down with a chair. The announce table gets loaded up early and there’s a monitor to the side of Kane’s head. Shane hits the big elbow through the table and both guys are down less than two minutes in. Both guys get up and Shane makes Kane chase him (literally) through the crowd.
They head to the back and we lose the camera feed for a bit. Kane really is stalking Shane like in a slasher movie. Shane gets behind Kane somehow and blasts him with some kendo stick shots. Shane gets in an SUV and backs up into Kane, knocking him into a guard shake. McMahon grabs a walkie-talkie and says send it, so here’s an ambulance. Kane fights off the stretcher and throws Shane into a concrete wall before they head back to the arena.
Shane looks like he’s dead on his feet as Kane punches him. Kane throws him onto the hood of the ambulance, cracking Shane’s head open apparently. Shane sends him into the side of the ambulance and opens the doors, slamming one onto Kane’s head a few times. Kane fights his way out of the back of the ambulance before throwing Shane in, but only one door gets shut.
McMahon comes back with a kind of tornado DDT out of the ambulance and hits Kane with a trashcan. He then puts something big and black between Kane’s legs before climbing on top of the ambulance. Shane goes Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive a trashcan into Kane’s face while Kane was laying against the barricade. The big black thing apparently was a box to keep Shane from, you know, dying.
Kane is dead weight now and Shane can’t get him into the ambulance immediately. Kane pulls Shane inside with him before getting all fired (pun intended) up. He rams Shane into the ambulance over and over, tombstones him on the concrete and throws him into the ambulance to win.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it went on too long. Thankfully this was the last time Shane was an active wrestler for a few years as he was only good for stuff like this in doses. Kane would go on to feud with, who else, the Undertaker in a few months. There were some good bumps here, but at the end of the day Shane isn’t a wrestler and that was becoming obvious near the end.
Brock says he didn’t lose tonight. Josh Matthews says he tapped out and Lesnar doesn’t want to hear it because he didn’t tap out. Lesnar says line up anybody in the world and he’ll beat them because he’s the WWE Champion. Oh hi Goldberg. Yep, they’re foreshadowing THAT match.
Here’s Coach to waste more time. He’s in a neckbrace due to a 3D on Monday. His doctors assure him that in a few days, he’ll be fine. Coach sees Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, in the front row. Cuban agrees to a quick interview and says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Coach says that’s not happening so he asks Cuban if he prefers WWE or NBA referees. Cuban says they all suck (Cuban is well known in the NBA for being highly critical of referees) and here’s Bischoff to yell at Cuban a bit.
Eric asks Cuban to get in the ring and say whatever Cuban thinks to his face. Cuban gets in the ring and TOWERS over Bischoff, probably a good seven inches or so taller. Bischoff says that he can have security take Cuban out or he can do it himself. Mark shoves Eric down but Randy Orton slides in and RKO’s Cuban, who sells it as well as any celebrity I’ve ever seen. If I remember right, this was actually referenced SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw. This was a waste of about seven minutes.
Evolution is having a party in the back with a ton of women. HHH takes his shirt off to drive the girls crazy but Flair says not yet because HHH has to fight later. Orton comes in and panics, stops to flirt with the girls, and then says that he’ll kill the legend of Austin tonight.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers
The Brothers are Doug and Danny, have Shaniqua with them and are defending here. Los Guerreros take over to start as this is apparently about something the Bashams did on Smackdown. What that was isn’t important enough to explain, but apparently it happened. Chavo and I think Danny start things off with Chavo in control. It’s quickly off to Danny who stomps Danny down in the corner and follows up with the Three Amigos.
It’s back to Chavo with a low dropkick for two and it’s right back to Eddie. A Sin Cara-esque headscissors takes both Bashams down but the champs double team Latino Heat to take over. Shaniqua, a big old monster chick that won Tough Enough 2, runs over Eddie on the floor and Doug pounds away on him in the ring. A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock by Danny. Eddie fights up and takes Danny down with a headscissors before tagging in Chavo.
Everything breaks down and another double flapjack puts Chavo down. Danny loads up something like a spinebuster off the middle rope but Eddie makes the save before Danny can jump. Eddie gets sent to the floor but Chavo dropkicks Doug down. Danny and Chavo clothesline each other down and the “twins” switch. Eddie takes Shaniqua down and Frog Splashes her. Let’s spank her too because she’s a dominatrix. Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Doug but kicks Eddie in the process. As Chavo checks on him, Danny rolls Chavo up to retain.
Rating: D+. I know the description sounded really dull, but there was nothing here at all. The guys in this match are pretty talented, but the tag division was so dead around this point. The Bashams just weren’t that interesting and there isn’t much else to say about it than that. That was a major problem back in 2003: a lot of the guys were just there and nothing of note, which is a shame as Danny is a legend in OVW but it never translated to WWE.
Los Guerreros glare at each other post match.
We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They had been sharing power and tonight’s match is for full control. Austin is skeptical about trusting anyone and he’s fired if he touches anyone. From what I understand from the video, if Austin’s team wins, he can beat up anyone he wants.
Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff
Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Dudley Boyz
Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry
The Dudleys are Raw tag champions and RVD is IC Champion. Team Bischoff hides on the floor and Austin yells at Jericho a bit. Christian and D-Von start things off with the Dudley pounding away. A flying clothesline gets two on Christian and here’s Van Dam who gets the same off a spinwheel kick. Off to Jericho who gets kicked in the face as well, followed by a northern lights suplex for two.
A dropkick puts Van Dam down and here’s Steiner for the same power stuff he’s done for about eight years running now. After making Steiner miss in the corner and hitting a cross body, Van Dam gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched, allowing Scott to hit an overhead belly to belly for two. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down and elbowed for tow.
Booker hits the forearm to take Steiner down and hits the ax kick but it’s a Spinarooni instead of a cover. Everything breaks down and Steiner hooks the Recliner on Booker. Stacy, Steiner’s reluctant manager, cheers for Booker. The distraction breaks the hold and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D on Steiner and the Bookend gets the elimination. Henry comes in and immediately hits the World’s Strongest Slam to take Booker out and tie things up.
Van Dam comes back in and the kicks to Henry’s legs don’t do much good at all. Bubba gets a blind tag and pounds away on Henry but Mark runs him over. Bubba pounds away but brings in D-Von because it takes both Dudleyz to take Henry down. Henry misses a charge in the corner and walks into the 3D, allowing Van Dam to hit the Five Star. The dogpile pin is allowed and Henry is out.
It’s Jericho vs. Van Dam now with Rob sending Jericho into the corner for two. Off to Orton who clotheslines Van Dam down hard for two. RVD comes back with the springboard kick to the face but Jericho breaks up the Five Star, knocking Rob into the RKO for the elimination. Off to D-Von for a flapjack and a legdrop for two. A top rope headbutt gets two on Orton so it’s off to Jericho.
Chris’ missile dropkick puts D-Von down but Bubba breaks up the pin. Jericho is all cool with that though and hits the Flashback (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination. It’s Bubba and Shawn vs. Jericho, Christian and Orton. Here’s Shawn for the first time and house is quickly cleaned, but that little dust bunny known as Chris Jericho takes him down. Off to Orton again who gets in a few shots before getting clotheslined.
There’s the not hot tag to Bubba who beats up all three Bischites. A flapjack puts Jericho down and a backdrop gets two on Christian. A Samoan Drop puts Orton down and we get heel miscommunication between the Canadians. Jericho breaks up the Bubba Bomb with a low blow and the Unprettier pins Bubba, making it 3-1. Shawn immediately comes in with a forearm to Christian and the nip up as things speed up.
Jericho low bridges Shawn and the double stomp is on outside. Off to Orton as the heels slow things down. Shawn and Christian slug it out but Shawn has to beat up Jericho as well. Christian slingshots Shawn into the post and Michaels is busted open. Back in and Christian suplexes Shawn down before doing the HBK pose. Shawn is covered in blood as Christian shoves him out of the corner….and charges right into Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. That was sweet!
Jericho is all ticked off now and pounds away on Shawn’s forehead but Michaels comes back with a chop in the corner. Shawn can’t follow up though and a clothesline puts him down for two. Shawn comes back with a DDT out of the corner for a delayed two as Orton saves. Shawn throws Orton out to the floor but Jericho’s Lionsault hits knees and Shawn FINALLY gets up. The superkick misses but Shawn rolls Jericho up to counter the Walls and somehow it’s down to Orton vs. Shawn. Jericho, ever the bad sport, clocks Shawn with a chair.
Orton, who is still down from being thrown to the floor somehow, is left against a dead Shawn. Randy crawls back in but can only get two. He goes up but the cross body takes out the referee instead. Shawn loads up the Superkick but Bischoff comes in and kicks him down. Austin finally snaps and beats up Eric before Stunning Orton. Steve goes after Bischoff and throws him up the aisle, but Batista runs in and powerbombs Shawn, giving Orton the academic pin to win the match and send Austin away for at least a good three weeks.
Rating: B. This took A LONG time to get going, but once Shawn was on his own and got to get the crowd behind him completely, it was all gravy. The important thing here was that Shawn basically beat Christian and Jericho through a pair of flukes and not because he Hulked Up or anything like that. He caught Christian charging at him and rolled Jericho up when Jericho’s arms were being used in a hold. Shawn made this match work, as the other members of his team were useless. The guy really is that awesome.
Austin is shocked and goes into the ring where Shawn isn’t moving at all. He helps Michaels up and Shawn says he’s sorry. Austin pulls Shawn up and they shake hands with no Stunner. They walk up the aisle together and leave but Austin’s music plays and he comes out one more time. He says that he started his career 14 years ago right here in Dallas. Austin says if it has to end, he’s glad that it’s ending where it started. He says that you won’t hear him say this much, but he loves the fans.
This brings out Coach to sing the goodbye song and have security take Austin out. Austin of course beats up the guards and Coach as this is going on too long. Austin Stuns Coach and beer is consumed. He leaves the two cans sitting in the ring and flips off the crowd for old times’ sake.
We recap Undertaker vs. Vince. Taker keeps trying to win the title but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy against Lesnar. Undertaker says that Vince has to be held accountable for his actions and on Smackdown, Taker won the right to have any match with anyone he picked. He said it was buried alive and Vince loved the idea of getting to see Lesnar bury Taker. Taker said not so fast my friend, because the match is against Vince.
Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon
Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.
Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.
The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.
Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.
Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.
We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldie won the title at Unforgiven so HHH put a $100k bounty on his head. Batista returned from an injury and broke Goldberg’s ankle to claim the bounty. This is almost literally the same story that Race and Flair had to set up the first Starrcade, with the main difference being that Race was champion when he set up the bounty. This gets the music video treatment.
Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH
Goldberg is defending and has a broken ankle. Doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out/put him on the shelf? With Flair still in the ring, Goldie limps and punches at the same time. There’s a spear to HHH but there’s no count because the bell hasn’t rung yet. Flair gets backdropped and there’s the bell. HHH gets knocked to the floor and the champ is in full control. Goldberg drops him face first onto the barricade and we head back inside.
Goldberg tries to use power but the ankle gives out on him. A chop block takes Goldberg down and we head to the floor for a low blow. Flair sends the leg into the post and is DRENCHED in sweat already. Back in and things slow down even more as HHH does whatever he can as Flair chokes away even more. HHH stays on the knee and the sequence keeps going on and on and on. That was the problem with HHH matches: they were the same boring formula over and over and it never worked.
HHH puts on a half crab but Goldberg is in the ropes. The ankle gets bent around the post as this is getting even more boring. Goldberg comes out of the corner with a clothesline but a powerslam is too much for him here. Goldberg kicks HHH into the referee and Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg out cold. That only gets two and HHH is ANGRY, so he drops an elbow on the referee.
It’s sledgehammer time but HHH charges into a boot. Flair gets slammed off the top and Goldie has the hammer. He takes Flair out with it but as he goes for HHH, Batista and Orton run in, only to be knocked out with the hammer as well. The Pedigree is countered and Goldberg throws down the hammer. The spear and the Jackhammer retain the title.
Rating: D+. Well the match sucked, but you certainly can’t say HHH didn’t put Goldberg over huge here. This is where the good parts of the match end. As for the bad: Goldberg wouldn’t sell the leg once the big insane part started, the match sucked, and HHH won the title a month later at Armageddon in a three way match, with Goldberg moving on to feud with Lesnar after this. Not a good match here but that was typical of HHH around this time.
Overall Rating: D+. This is from a bad time in the company as HHH was still on top but there were other things that were far more interesting. For instance, the Austin thing DEFINITELY should have closed this show as Shawn is the only thing that was really good on the whole card. On top of that, the main problem here is that other than the Shawn match, there’s no heart to this show. It comes, it goes, nothing really feels like it matters. That would be the case until Cena and Batista rose up to breathe new life into the company.
Ratings Comparison
Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar
Original: B-
Redo: C
Molly Holly vs. Lita
Original: D+
Redo: D+
Kane vs. Shane McMahon
Original: D+
Redo: D+
Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros
Original: D
Redo: D+
Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin
Original: A-
Redo: B
Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker
Original: D
Redo: D
Goldberg vs. HHH
Original: D-
Redo: D+
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D+
This matches up pretty well: most of the matches were about the same but a few were lower this time, as was the overall rating.
Monday Night Raw – July 22, 2002: Let’s Get Ready To…..Have Way Too Much In One Show
Monday Night Raw Date: July 22, 2002
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is another request from a long time ago and I’m not quite sure why people want to see it. Looking over the card there’s quite a bit of stuff that could be worth looking at so maybe there’s actually a decent show in here. Given that I’ve done so much of the year already though, I can’t imagine this is going to be anything special. Let’s get to it.
Here’s new GM Eric Bischoff to open things up. He insists that he loves all of us and promises the Rock will be here tonight. On top of that, we’re getting the man that is going to make this show #1 in all of entertainment: HHH. Cue the Game (with a LONG entrance) for his first official night as a member of the Raw roster. Bischoff tries to say he’s bringing up Raw but HHH says he’s bringing up his best friend instead. Shawn comes out to a very nice reaction but Bischoff cuts it off to name Shawn as HHH’s new manager.
He makes sure to say that Shawn will always be a few steps behind HHH, but that’s not cool with Shawn. Eric and Michaels have a brief exchange over who has more stroke with Bischoff saying he isn’t Vince. Shawn suggests Bischoff learn who he is, because he doesn’t react well to ultimatums. He’ll always take the highway instead of someone else’s way so he’s out of here. Bischff says Shawn is walking out on the fans but Shawn leaves anyway. HHH goes after him, allowing Eric to announce that the Intercontinental and European Titles will be unified in a ladder match tonight.
HHH catches up with Shawn in the back but Michaels doesn’t like being told what to do. Shawn knows HHH came to Raw because of him but Michaels didn’t choose to work for Bischoff. HHH says being his manager wouldn’t be that bad with Shawn’s back being that bad. Don’t be like Stone Cold and walk out with your ball. Trips has an idea to make this work and Shawn begrudgingly agrees to stay and listen.
Intercontinental Title/European Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
Van Dam is IC, Jeff is European and this is a ladder match in case you have the attention span of a goldfish. Rob scores with an early dropkick and covers out of instinct. Instead he throws Jeff to the floor and nails him with a ladder. An early climb attempt doesn’t work as Jeff pops back up for a save. Now it’s Jeff loading up the ladder but getting it dropkicked out from under him.
Another dropkick knocks the ladder out of Van Dam’s hands so both guys slide in fresh ladders. They ram the ladders into each other and both guys go down. Rob gets the better of it and puts Jeff on the ladder for a cartwheel moonsault. Hardy pops up for another save with a Russian legsweep off the ladder. That’s not enough for Hardy of course so he puts the ladder on top of Van Dam for a Swanton to keep Rob in trouble.
Both guys go up again but it’s Van Dam with a sunset bomb to take Jeff down. Rolling Thunder onto Jeff onto the ladder keeps Hardy in trouble. Rob goes up but gets nailed in the back with another ladder, only to kick Jeff off his ladder. Van Dam drops a splash off the ladder before climbing back up to win the title in less than seven minutes.
Rating: C. The crashes were good but seven minutes with five minutes to get ready? That’s the best they can give to the last match for the European Title? And that’s really been gone for twelve years now? The match was fun enough but again, give it either a build or some more time. This was pretty ridiculous all things considered.
Here’s Christopher Nowitzki with something to say. He sucks up to Bischoff for giving him the chance to get something off his chest. Ever since he got here, he’s been perplexed as to why people hate a Harvard graduate. Before he can brag any further, here’s Undertaker to interrupt. He isn’t in the best mood after losing the WWE Title last night and it’s Nowitzki getting the beating to let off some frustration. A quick Last Ride and we’re done.
Bischoff tries to get Rhyno, almost back from neck surgery, to join Raw. Rhyno seems interested but doesn’t sign yet. Shawn Stasiak and D’Lo Brown come up and ask for a chance to get on Raw. Bischoff gives them three minutes to entertain him later tonight. I don’t see this going well for them.
Bubba Ray Dudley/Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly/William Regal
The genders don’t have to match here. Bubba is very banged up coming off a tables match last night. The guys start with Regal taking a big backdrop but Bubba only has one good arm. Regal crawls over and hides with Molly before tagging her in. Molly wants a test of strength so Bubba does the arm switches into a dance, earning him a slap. Bubba spanks Molly to retaliate before it’s off to Stratus for some dropkicks. Regal cheats from the apron so Molly can grab a northern lights suplex for two.
Trish has to fight off the Englishman and scores with a dropkick before making the hot(ish) tag. Everything breaks down and Molly gets crotched on the top, leaving the good ones to What’s Up Regal. Bubba loads up the chest slap on Trish but puts the brakes on to keep it PG. As he goes to get the tables, Regal Germans Trish and puts on the Regal Stretch for the win.
Rating: D. Standard comedy match without much of the comedy here. Bubba stopping himself at Trish’s chest was a cute bit but other than that I have no idea why these teams were fighting. JR mentioned that the girls got to pick their partners but there’s no reason given for anything else.
Bischoff tells someone that they’re on when three minutes are up. He turns around and sees Benoit, who will be in a match later with Booker T. for a shot at the Intercontinental Title.
Here’s the new WWE Champion the Rock with something to say. Actually scratch that as he can barely get any words out over the fans’ cheering. FINALLY he’s ready to talk and says he won’t be riding motorcycles with Undertaker or drinking milk with Kurt Angle. After last night though, he has to thank them for having such a great match. That was last night though, but this is tonight.
Eddie Guerrero of all people interrupts and says he has a problem with La Rocka. He has two little girls at home and they both worship the ground their father walks on. However, he’s found posters of the Rock next to the posters of him. Eddie ripped the Rock poster down because Rock is just a movie star, so Rock calls him a sick psychopathic freak. Rock says Eddie is a movie star as well but doesn’t remember if Eddie was Cheech or Chong.
That’s a sign of jealousy in Eddie’s eyes, because everyone knows he’s a better wrestler than Rock. Eddie brags about his haircut, which Rock describes as Billy Ray Cyrus having sex with a stupid hyena. What does that even mean? Anyway, Eddie wants a match tonight and if he wins, he gets a title shot next week. Rock sings a Latino song and agrees to the match. As Rock is leaving, Brock Lesnar comes out for his match and walks by Rock, his opponent at Summerslam, without even looking at him.
Brock Lesnar vs. Tommy Dreamer
Singapore cane match. Tommy hammers away with the cane to start but Brock just ends him with a belly to belly on the floor. Back in and Brock drives shoulders to the ribs in the corner but Dreamer nails a low blow. The DDT gets two but Lesnar pops up for the F5 and academic win.
Undertaker comes out with some cane shots for revenge on Lesnar for an attack last week.
Big Show cuts on Shawn in the back and brings up a superkick from a few weeks ago. There’s no NWO to save Shawn now and Michaels agrees that he might not be able to fight now. Show laughs and leaves. Ok then.
Bischoff reminds Brown and Stasiak that they have three minutes.
Shawn Stasiak vs. D’Lo Brown
Brown hammers away to start and gets a few early two counts as Bischoff stands on the stage, checking his watch. Stasiak puts on an armbar and Bischoff rips into him for being boring. He cuts off the time and we get to the point: 3 Minute Warning (Jamal, later known as Umaga, and Rosey, later known as Rosey) debuts and mauls both guys.
HHH gives Shawn a bag and tells him to wear whatever is inside. Shawn looks pleased.
Goldust praises Booker’s performance against Big Show last night at Vengeance. It was like David beating Goliath and Booker is like a king. He gives Booker a Don King wig as the comedy continues.
Chris Benoit vs. Booker T.
Winner gets a future IC Title shot. Booker has bad ribs coming in from his match last night. A quick shoulder drops Benoit and a superkick does it even better. Benoit comes right back with a running elbow to the face for two before a hard whip drops Booker in the corner. Back up and another superkick drops the Canadian but he suplexes his way out of a sleeper.
Booker scores with another elbow to the jaw, followed by a missile dropkick for a close two. The ax kick misses and Benoit goes after the ribs. It’s Rolling Germans time with a bridge getting two. Booker’s spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two more but Benoit sends him face first into an exposed buckle. The Crossface makes Booker tap.
Rating: C+. This is another pairing that it’s really hard to screw up. Booker’s rib injury made the match work well enough as it slowed Booker down to the point where Benoit winning that quickly made sense. This was back when both guys were still young enough to put on good matches and this worked better than most other stuff all night.
Bischoff comes out for commentary on the next match.
Big Show vs. Spike Dudley
I think you know the drill here. The chokeslam ends it in about a minute.
Bischoff tells Show to get a table, but Bubba comes out to save his half brother. That earns him a chokeslam through the table along with Spike for his efforts.
ARE YOU READY? The DX theme comes on and here are HHH and Shawn with the old colors on once again. Shawn talks about the rebels being back and HHH does the Are You Ready bit. They load up the pose and HHH turns on Shawn with a Pedigree. They kept this quick as it only took about four minutes from beginning to end.
HHH is leaving when Smackdown GM Stephanie pulls up. She sends a production guy to tell Bischoff that the competition has arrived.
The Rock vs. Eddie Guerrero
Non-title but Eddie gets a title shot next week if he wins here. Eddie cranks on a headlock but eats a shoulder for his efforts. Some armdrags set up an armbar from the champion and a big clothesline stops Eddie’s spinning escape. Eddie gets in his first real offense with a belly to back suplex before stomping away in the corner. A slugout almost gives Rock some momentum but he eats an elbow to the jaw.
We hit the chinlock from Guerrero before a dropkick gets a near fall. Off to a figure four headscissors to keep things fresh (more wrestlers could use that lesson) but Eddie gets caught cheating. A dropkick stops another comeback bid and we’re back in the chinlock. Back up and Rock scores with some right hands but the Rock Bottom is countered into a rollup for two. That was sweet as Eddie was coming down before he rolled through. The Frog Splash misses and it’s the spinebuster and a People’s Elbow for the pin.
Rating: C+. I know it wasn’t much but I really liked that counter. I didn’t expect it and the move looked cooler as a result. Guerrero wasn’t quite back to his old self yet and it would take awhile for him to get back into a groove. Rock was on his way out but still had it at this point. Nice match.
Post match Brock runs out and grabs the title. We get a staredown until Lesnar throws the belt down at Rock’s feet.
Bischoff goes up to Stephanie’s limo to mock her. She’s here to teach him a lesson and gets out of the limo. Eric mocks her with some Karate Kid poses as Heyman and Lesnar show up. Stephanie backs down….and leaves with Brock and Heyman, making both of them Smackdown exclusives. Bischoff is STUNNED to end the show. Oh wait we’re making fun of Austin now. Bischoff is SHOCKED to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The main event helped this but it’s still not a great show. So much stuff felt rushed but at the end of the day, both main events of Summerslam are set (mostly) with Shawn vs. HHH looking like a great emotional feud. The show flying by so fast was annoying, but man alive does this sort of show hold up compared to the modern three hour version.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Nitro – June 14, 1999: Better Late Than Never
Monday Nitro #192 Date: June 14, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
We’re past the Great American Bash and there is no way things can get any worse than the got last night. I mean I do not believe it’s possible for a promotion to get less interesting and worse than things have been for the last five weeks or so. The main story seems to be Nash vs. Savage/Sid, which should be more interesting due to Sid being totally nuts and semi-mobile. Let’s get to it.
We open with a package of recap stills from last night.
Savage, Sid and the girls arrive.
DJ Ran babbles about the cowboys vs. rappers last night.
Brian Adams/Vincent vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham
Adams runs Hennig over with a hard shoulder to start so Curt tries a headlock. That’s fine with Brian who sends him crotch first into the post, causing Hennig to slowly crawl over for a tag. Windham runs Vincent over with a Vader standing clothesline but takes too much time going up, allowing Vincent to actually slam him down.
Back to Curt for some shots to the back and the Hennig neck snap, followed by a belly to back suplex from Barry. Vincent gets dropped by what was supposed to be a double clothesline, but it needs to actually connect to be a clothesline. Vincent comes back with some clotheslines of his own to Barry and we get a hot tag to Brian. Did the Black and White turn face and I wasn’t told? Brian cleans house for a bit until Barry plants him with a DDT. Duncum pulls Adams to the floor and a cowbell shot to the head is enough to pin Vincent.
Rating: D+. When did the Black and White actually get energy in their legs? Granted the match wasn’t anything special but what do you expect from these four? Hennig and Windham can be good when they’re motivated, but that’s a very rare thing to see anymore. I do like them making it more of a stable than just a team but it’s going to get better.
Here’s a press conference from earlier today where Master P. signed with WCW. This is exactly what you would expect, including Master P. using a run on sentence that goes on for about 45 seconds. Mysterio, Konnan and Bischoff have some appreciative lines as well. The fact that this goes to commercial while P. is still talking tells you everything you need to know.
Here are Savage and the girls with something to say. Savage says he’s the boss and last night was crowned the uncrowned World Champion. He talks about how awesome the girls are and has George gyrate a bit in a demonstration of how Nash looked after the elbow, complete with a cover and pin. Savage rambles about being vicious from here on out and says the Wolfpack sucks. This went WAY too long and made Savage sound even crazier than normal.
Nitro Girls.
Pictures of the dogs from last night. Please, anything else.
Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman
Well this is indeed something else. Morrus pounds him down in the corner to start and spins Kidman inside out with a few clotheslines. A running splash in the corner has Kidman reeling but he finally hooks a headscissors to get a breather. Morrus gets dropkicked out to the floor but he catches Kidman’s plancha. Kidman is rammed back first into the post and Jimmy slides in a chair. A distraction lets Morrus drop Kidman ribs first on the top of the chair but Kidman counters a powerbomb and hits the Shooting Star for the pin. At least hold your ribs dude.
Rating: D. Is that really the end of the Morrus attacks the cruiserweights stuff? They had that mess of a battle royal a few weeks back and this is the best they can do? Like I said, Kidman just popped up and finished the match without even holding his ribs. I expect that from Morrus but not Kidman.
DJ Ran.
Here are Flair and Anderson with something to say. Ric threatens to make the eternally present fat boy’s mom go WOO. He’s here tonight to offer Roddy Piper the Vice Presidency so here’s Piper with a full pipe and drums band. Piper accepts the job and talks about how great the old days were with Flair.
This brings out Dean Malenko who says that if someone was waking up from a fifteen year coma and turned on this show, they wouldn’t think anything had changed. Good line. Other greats have passed the torch but Flair wants to hold it forever. That’s not cool with guys like Dean so he’s going to take the torch no matter who likes it.
Anderson says Dean needs to cool it or instead of being a Horseman, he’ll be one of their victims. Arn stands at Flair’s side but Piper gets in Dean’s face. The brawl is on and we see Benoit and Saturn coming to the ring, only to get jumped by the Jersey boys. Bagwell comes out but gets beaten down as well.
Let’s stop for a few seconds here and look at how stupid this is. The young guys are perfectly fine here as everything they said and did made sense. That brings us to Piper, who has spent the last month and a half trying to get Flair’s power and even had him committed to a mental hospital, but now he’s perfectly fine with being Vice President, basically giving him the exact same authority he’s had for over a year now as Commissioner? Isn’t he still Commissioner and in theory second in power?
Unless I’m missing something, Piper has the same power he had before but is now clearly under Flair and has stopped fighting because he and Flair used to be buddies fifteen years ago. If there’s one thing Piper has never been over the years, it’s someone who falls in line and gives up a fight. This is so totally out of character for him and makes the last month and a half totally worthless. Things like these are the ones that make this such a frustrating era for WCW.
Bischoff joins commentary.
Video on Norton vs. Miller
Cat vs. Scott Norton
Why this didn’t happen last night isn’t clear. Miller puts on the red shoes for a dance before the match. Norton charges to the ring with a growl and hammers on Miller to start fast. Cat bails to the floor but gets sent face first into the post and then the barricade. Some chops have Miller in even more trouble before they head back inside. Sonny offers a distraction so Miller can hit a low blow. He loads up the red shoe but the referee goes down because we’re not overbooked enough yet. A superkick to the face with a red shoe is enough to pin Norton.
Rating: D. Miller becoming the dancer is a bit more interesting than just being a karate guy but it doesn’t make stuff like this any easier to sit through. These two have feuded for weeks now and I’m really not sure why they’re even fighting at this point. Is it over who is tougher? It’s really taken three or four matches to answer that?
Nitro Girls.
Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer
Hammer powers him down to start with a slam and a clothesline, followed by the enhanced Vader model clothesline. Disco comes back with some shots to the back and a great looking clothesline, only to get caught in the Flashback (Alabama Slam). Hammer stays on him with some basic power stuff before putting on a sleeper. This is stupid given that Disco’s finisher is a jawbreaker, which is exactly what he uses to get out.
It’s not the finishing jawbreaker though so Disco has to avoid a charge in the corner and then screw up a neckbreaker. He somehow swung the wrong way. The guy has like four moves and he screwed one of them up? Really? The Last Dance is broken up and we actually get a ref bump in this match. Now the neckbreaker connects but the referee counts a slow two. Hammer grabs a belly to back suplex and a handful of tights for the pin.
Rating: F. We really needed all that in Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer and Disco managed to screw up a swinging neckbreaker? Why are we seeing so many heel vs. heel matches on this show anyway? Come to think of it, there really aren’t that many faces on the roster, or at least not many worth much. But cool heels are the same as faces right?
Disco Stuns the referee post match.
Dennis Rodman might be coming back. Good grief does he have to?
Stills of the Tag Team Title match.
Fit Finlay vs. Brian Knobs
The fight starts on the floor with Finlay getting dropped throat first on the barricade. Knobs sends him into the steps and they head inside for the first time. Finlay comes back with a hard clothesline, only to have his shoulder go into the post. The nasty one stays in control with his boring offense before charging into the corner. Of course Finlay can’t get in any further offense as he charges into a powerslam. Finlay avoids a splash and stomps away before getting two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Cue Hak for a kendo stick to Knobs’ head, giving Finlay the quick pin.
Rating: D. Well, at least it was short. The problem here is an old one in wrestling: with no title or anything to fight for, these are just one off matches that don’t lead anywhere and don’t change anything. One guy beats another then a third guy wins and then it’s back to the first loser. They’re running in circles and it got old after about ten seconds.
We cut to the crowd and Sable of all people is in the front row.
Here’s Nash for his variety of catchphrases. He’s not out here for Savage though. Instead he wants to talk to Sid face to face. Sid pops up on screen for some jibber jabbering and the vague mention of maybe a title match down the line.
Recap of Flair vs. Piper from last night. Buff was going to get the ball if Piper won, then he cost Piper the match. What does that say about Bagwell?
DJ Ran.
Ric Flair/Roddy Piper/Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Buff Bagwell
That’s quite the tag match. The old guys run away to start until we get down to Flair vs. Benoit. We get the required chop off until Benoit backdrops him into the heel corner. Off to Page who has to be saved from a Crossface attempt. Piper comes in and gets his wish to face Bagwell, only to get punched out to the floor a few seconds later. An atomic drop to Piper sends us to a break.
Back with Benoit escaping a belly to back suplex and rolling up Flair for two. We get the pinfall reversal sequence with Benoit coming out on the bad end of it. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up again, only to have Benoit nail him with an enziguri and put him in the Figure Four instead. Everyone comes in and the good guys put on Figure Fours in a cool spot (Malenko screwed up at first). Bigelow makes the save with a legdrop though and it’s off to Kanyon to work on Chris. A middle rope Fameasser drops Benoit and Kanyon brings in Page as the heels have him in trouble.
Flair comes back in for chops before it’s back to Kanyon, who sends Benoit into the discus lariat from Page. Piper gets the tag for his lame punches before it’s back to Page for a stomping. We get the required missed tag to Saturn, allowing the Jersey boys to suplex Benoit down. Page goes up for the middle rope jump that is clearly designed to jump into a raised boot and nothing else, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down until it’s only Malenko and Flair left in the ring. Ric knocks him out to the floor but turns around and takes the Blockbuster for the surprise pin.
Rating: C+. Not bad here with the young guys FINALLY getting a big win. However, this brings up the important question: how can Flair possibly come back from this devastating loss to a fluke move from a former champion that has been rising up the card for years? I mean, clearly such a loss completely cripples Flair’s career and ends any potential he’s ever going to have right?
Nitro Girls.
Hak vs. Rick Steiner
No TV belt again this week but Rick does use a collar to nail Hak upside the head. Some chair shots send Hak up the aisle and Steiner takes him backstage. They hit each other with various metal objects before moving on to a big SUV. Rick takes him to the top of the car and rams Hak head first onto the hood. Hak staggers around and falls over a motorcycle, freaking Bischoff out all over again.
Barely able to stand, Hak finds what looks to be a piece of a car engine and chokes Rick with it, only to get choked right back. They fight over to the Hummer from last week (yet we still don’t know who drove it?) and Hak is knocked through the roof. The door opens and it’s STING inside. A few ball bat shots drop Rick and Sting throws him through the side ofM an RV which just happened to be there. I’m assuming the match has been thrown out at this point.
They come back to ringside so Sting can beat on him with the bat some more. Sting: “What’s black and brown and looks good on Sting? A doberman! What’s black and white and looks good on Steiner? STING!” The beating continues until Sting picks Steiner up on his shoulder and carries him to the back.
DJ Ran.
Psychosis/La Parka vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.
The No Limit Soldiers and Master P. are out in full force. Mysterio and Psychosis get things going with Rey climbing onto his shoulders and crawling downing into a sunset flip for two. Psychosis gets sent out to the floor and it’s off to Konnan vs. La Parka with Konnan actually climbing the corner for a Sin Cara armdrag. A headscissors puts Psychosis down and Rey nails a springboard legdrop to La Parka.
Back in and Psychosis gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over and La Parka adds a kick to the head of the head. Konnan slips by him and makes a tag off to Rey, setting up a double dive to the outside. Back in and Konnan beats up both guys with ease before stereo headscissors get stereo pins on Psychosis and La Parka.
Rating: D. This was pretty messy as I could barely keep track of who was legal for most of the match. Psychosis and La Parka were mostly there as pinballs to bounce around the ring and never be in any real trouble. The Master P. schilling from Bischoff is going to get old in a hurry but at least he was a fairly big name back then.
The Soldiers come in to celebrate but we hear Rap Is Crap as Hennig and Windham have taken over DJ Ran’s booth. Finally they do something worthwhile. The rap guys storm the booth and P. shouts HOODY WHO or whatever it is and the fans are just silent. A rap song is played and that’s about it.
WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash
Nash is defending of course. Savage and the girls come out and there’s no Sid. Randy says everyone knows he pinned Nash last night and wants another shot right now. Nash says come get your belt so Savage says he’s the Unified World Champion. He gets in and we have a bell, so I guess this is a new match.
WCW World Title: Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash
Nash hammers away in the corner until George comes in for a distraction so Savage can hit him low. Miss Madness’ dropkick hits Savage by mistake and here’s Sid as well. The beatdown is on and the match is quickly thrown out.
Sid and Savage destroy Nash until Sting finally comes out for the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was another lame show and the Piper stuff is stupid but that eight man was a nice glimmer of hope. Unlike the paranoid guys in the main event, Flair is at least smart enough to know that he can lose one match and then cut a good promo to make people hate him all over again and get his heat right back. If we can get Piper off screen and let Sid and Nash have their watch big man matches (they have to be better than Savage vs. Nash), things could actually be tolerable around here.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Great American Bash 1999 (2014 Redo): This Might Be Rock Bottom
Great American Bash 1999
Date: June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
To say this show doesn’t sound thrilling is an understatement. We’ve spent weeks getting ready for Nash vs. Savage with antics ranging from makeup to human waste to attempted murder. Other than that we have Rick Steiner no selling against Sting for the TV Title and more of the mess that is the Tag Team Title scene. Let’s get to it.
Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and says how much he loves him and asks how much he loves him. P. signs a CD for him (which one of his guys just had in his pocket) and Hennig breaks it. The Soldiers all start jumping up and down and shoulding what sounds like “Hoody who” in high pitched voices. This is a southern promotion for a show in a southern city and they expect Hennig to be booed here?
The opening recap video shows us a stupid Savage vs. Nash feud.
Tony and the announcers explain who Master P. is and call him the biggest entertainer of our time. We hear about the main event as well.
We recap most of the matches on the card. Well at least it cuts into the main event time. They even go back and cover the hardcore match twice.
Hak vs. Brian Knobs
I sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance. Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90 seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no idea what they’re doing.
Brian wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto Knobs.
Hak gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down. The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.
Rating: F. We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m tired of seeing these disasters.
Hugh Morrus comes out and helps beat down Knobs.
Piper is in the back when Buff comes up to thank him for giving him the ball. He has a big match tonight (against Disco Inferno) and promises to have Piper’s back tonight against Flair. Buff leaves and Piper mutters about stupid kids. Lines like that defeat the purpose of Piper as the mentor to the young guys. He should be thrilled with where the future is going instead of being annoyed with them for saying they’ll have his back. Also, is a match with Disco Inferno “getting the ball” when you had a US Title match last month?
Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer
Bonus match. Mikey gets shoved down a few times but comes back with some armdrags. Hammer chokes him to take over and drives a knee into Mikey’s ribs. A middle rope slam sends Mikey flying as the fans think this is boring. Hammer gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop before we hit the abdominal stretch. Nick Patrick finally catches him holding the ropes so Hammer throws Mikey to the floor. Mikey goes throat first over the barricade but he comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head and a plancha. Back in and Hammer catches him in a spinebuster, setting up a cobra clutch slam for the pin.
Rating: D-. Somehow that was eight and a half minutes long. To recap, we can’t get Booker T. on this show but there’s time for Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer. Mikey is one of those hires that never made sense. He won like two matches in his six months with the company, even though WCW knew he was banged up when they got him. Eh whatever you can do to screw with ECW I guess.
Disco Inferno vs. Buff Bagwell
In case you didn’t get enough of it on Nitro I guess. They start fast for a change by trading kicks to the ribs until Disco grabs a neckbreaker to send him outside. Back in and Buff kicks him in the ribs a few times, setting up a swinging neckbreaker of his own. Buff cranks on an armbar and starts a DISCO SUCKS chant. An early Blockbuster attempt sends Disco running to the floor and Buff says it was that close.
Back in and Bagwell flips him off (some hero) so Disco nails him with a Stun Gun to take over. Disco chokes on the ropes so Tony congratulates all the recent high school graduates in the country. Ok then. More slow stomping in the corner from Inferno followed by a dancing middle rope elbow for two. Disco goes up for the same spot but Buff moves (that might have been some miscommunication as Tony made a big deal about Bagwell not moving the first time) and starts his comeback.
Some right hands look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff takes too long and gets crotched. They head outside and Disco hits the Last Dance, only to take too long dancing to allow Bagwell to beat the count. Back in and the Macarena Driver (exactly what it sounds like) is countered with a backdrop. Buff hits some really basic stuff and goes up for the Blockbuster. Disco ducks away but Bagwell doesn’t bite and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. Nice little callback there.
Rating: D+. Of all the guys that WCW never pulled the trigger on, Bagwell might surprise me more than anyone else. He was young (29 here), an eight year veteran, had a great look and a good finisher, yet he never won a singles title in WCW. That’s not even factoring in the whole broken neck story. He’s a good example of a guy that could have been something but instead we’re stuck with the Steiners as the midcard champions and Nash vs. Savage for the World Title. Bagwell never would have carried the company or anything, but there’s no reason he couldn’t have gotten the US or TV Titles a few times.
We recap the battle of the musics. Again, WCW was stupid enough to think that the country boys would be the heels in this story.
DJ Ran wastes our time and brings in Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers.
Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan
Tenay actually picks rap. We also get the debut of Rap Is Crap as the cowboys’ theme song. I have no idea why A, Mysterio is Cruiserweight Champion is he never defends the thing and B, why he and Konnan come out wearing gas masks. Tenay tries and fails at getting me to care about Master P. The rappers jump Hennig for talking trash about Master P. and the cowboys are quickly dispatched. P. gets in a cheap shot to the back of Curt’s head because that’s what good guys down.
We get down to an actual match with Mysterio dropkicking Hennig to the floor and nailing a plancha but diving into a backbreaker from Duncum. A big powerbomb plants Rey again and Hennig slams him down as well. Rey takes the Bret Hart chest bump into the corner and the cowboys keep things slow. The referee misses the hot tag to Konnan and takes him to the floor, allowing Bobby to send Mysterio hard into the barricade.
Back in and Curt hits a perfect dropkick to Rey’s jaw and spits at Konnan to draw him in. Bobby crotches him against the post and Rey is in big trouble. Hennig does a Rude hip swivel and it’s quickly back to Duncum. Rey crawls through the legs and tags Konnan which the referee sees but “he didn’t see it” so it doesn’t count.
Hennig gets two off a suplex but Rey moonsaults over him and scores with a dropkick. Now the hot tag brings in Konnan as everything breaks down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Curt and he fights with Konnan on the floor. Cue Barry Windham to nail Konnan but Master P.’s bodyguard Swoll jumps the barricade and nails Duncum, setting up a slingshot legdrop for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was pretty dull and the ending was messier than it needed to be. The idea doesn’t work either as the country boys are far more popular with WCW’s fan base but we’re supposed to cheer for rappers who jump up and down and shout HOODY WHO for some reason. But hey, at least Master P. is on the show right?
The cowboys destroy the rappers post match.
The announcers talk about what we just saw and we look at a replay of it to waste even more time.
Cat vs. Scott Norton
Sonny has a briefcase with him. Actually scratch Norton as Horace comes out to complain about getting hit with the crowbar on Thursday. Time for a replacement.
Cat vs. Horace Hogan
Horace says Miller couldn’t even beat himself and the fight is on. Cat gets beaten down in the corner and choked with a boot before they head outside. That goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face back inside. Miller slams him down and throws Horace outside for some kicks from Sonny. Back in and Horace hits a slam of his own and drops an elbow for two. A splash gets two more but Sonny gets up on the apron for a distraction. Horace sees through it and backdrops Miller to the floor. In the confusion, Miller gets his sparkly red shoe from the briefcase and kicks Horace senseless for the pin.
Rating: D-. Oh come on man I already had to sit through this on Thunder. Isn’t that enough for WCW? I knew things were going to get bad around this time but no one told me I was going to have to sit through this match twice in four days. Miller needs to turn face soon and Horace needs to turn to another career.
We recap Piper vs. Flair. Piper is old, Flair is crazy (actually just more evil than anything else) and they’re fighting for control of the company.
Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair
Flair has Asya and Arn with him. They trade chops to start and Piper takes over with some lefts to the face. We get a delayed Flair Flop and Ric begs off in the corner. The slowest backslide this side of the last Piper match gets two and Flair gets punched to the floor. Back in and Piper bites Flair’s nose, followed by even more of his weird punches. Ric finally gets in a low blow to get a breather and things slow down even more. Anderson gets in a shot on the floor and Asya adds a rake of the eyes.
There’s another low blow from Flair but a sunset flip sends his trunks down as usual. Ric gets slammed off the top and Piper nails Anderson for bad measure. I can’t say there’s anything good, even a measure, in this match. Back in and Roddy puts on a sleeper but Flair quickly breaks it. Anderson trips up Roddy so Flair can nail Piper with a foreign object. Piper is up at two but there’s the Figure Four. Bagwell comes out to break up Anderson’s interference and goes in, drawing the DQ.
Rating: F. Gah. Seriously just gah. This was another mess with Flair having to work down to Piper’s level and Piper just being awful. I have no idea why WCW insists on keeping Piper out there when the fans don’t care and the stories go on and on. Piper and Flair had a great feud seventeen years ago. We really don’t need to see it again here and this match is good proof of why.
Post match Piper nails Bagwell, making this whole feud TOTALLY POINTLESS. Bagwell gets whipped with a belt for good measure. So yeah, Piper is in league with Flair and Anderson, presumably for daring to challenge the status quo.
DJ Ran. Again.
We recap Sting vs. Rick Steiner who are fighting…..actually I have no idea why they’re fighting. My best guess is Goldberg is out making a movie though.
Sting vs. Rick Steiner
This is hardcore and non-title for no apparent reason. Sting scores with an early clothesline and they head outside to start brawling. That’s a bit too boring though so they head inside where Rick nails some forearms to the back. A pair of atomic drops don’t have much effect on Steiner and they head outside again. Tony says there must be a winner.
Steiner hits Sting with a chair and then a beer. Sting comes back but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade. A piledriver on the exposed concrete gets two and somehow doesn’t break Sting’s neck. Back in and Rick gets two more off a release German suplex, followed by the chinlock. Rick cannonballs down onto Sting’s back and gets two off an elbow drop. Sting finally gets his knees up to crotch Rick and some Vader Bombs actually keep him down.
The top rope splash connects for two and Sting is all fired up. He nails the Stinger Splash and puts on the Deathlock but Rick crawls under the ropes. They fight to the internet location and into the back where Tank Abbot is waiting…..with two dobermans and a rottweiler who attack Sting. They take Sting down as security runs in like a bad shot from an action movie. Rick is declared the winner as the fans just rip this apart.
Rating: F-. Three dogs. Three dogs. THREE DOGS. Next. Please.
The Steiners say Rick pinned Sting off camera because WCW was too scared to air it. They own WCW, Baltimore sucks, etc.
We recap the Triad against Saturn/Benoit. The easiest version: Kanyon was in league with the Jersey boys the whole time but Benoit and Saturn beat Kanyon and Page for the titles on Thunder.
Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Saturn vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page
The announcers are joking about pyro after Sting WAS NEARLY MAULED BY DOGS. That’s a long running problem with commentators: they have the attention span of drunken gnats. Someone must get in their ear as they start talking about how terrifying a moment it was but assure us that Sting was dragged away from the dogs. Benoit runs Kanyon over to start and Page isn’t pleased. The champs clear the ring with clotheslines and Benoit stands…..well not very tall actually.
It’s off to Page vs. Saturn with DDP taking a few slams. Everything breaks down again and the champions easily dispatch the Jersey boys. That’s not enough for them though as they go outside to beat up Bigelow before snapping off overhead belly to bellies on Page and Kanyon. Bigelow trips Benoit to the floor and sends him into the barricade to get the first advantage. Kanyon gets two off a middle rope Fameasser and Benoit is in trouble. Back to Page whose powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Benoit gets kicked right back down.
The helicopter bomb gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Kanyon, but he misses a moonsault. The hot tag brings in Saturn for a frog splash on Page. Saturn hammers on Page in the corner but Kanyon takes him down with an electric chair faceplant for two. Things settle back down with the challengers hitting a nice sequence into a Russian legsweep from Kanyon and an elbow drop from Page. Saturn grabs a sunset flip but Kanyon tags out on the way down and holds Saturn’s head so Page can come in off the top for the save.
Back to Kanyon for a front facelock into a swinging neckbreaker. A sitout Dominator from Kanyon gives Page two but he misses a charge into the corner. It’s finally enough for the second hot tag to bring in Benoit for some much needed house cleaning. Kanyon takes the Rolling Germans for two but Page makes the save.
We get the old school dragon suplex for a VERY close two and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, only to have Saturn dive into the Diamond Cutter. Cue Dean Malenko to try and help Saturn back in but the distraction lets Bigelow come in to lift Benoit up for a super Diamond Cutter. Kanyon’s unconscious body is put on top for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B-. I’m so glad they gave us that three day reign before the Triad got the belts back. As usual the (mostly) old guys get the win and the titles while the (mostly) young generation is laid out. In theory this sets up a six man at least which should be good, but knowing WCW it leads to Benoit, Saturn and Malenko jobbing for months.
Dean gets laid out too.
We recap Savage vs. Nash. Savage wanted a title shot so he put lipstick on Nash’s face, called him a stupid person and tried to have him crushed with a Hummer. Don’t you see the logical progression of events?
WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage
Nash is defending and powers Savage into the corner to start, showing absolutely no injuries from being crushed by a Hummer six days earlier. Wait scratch that as he winces a bit after a clothesline in the corner. The impact is kind of lost though when he picks Savage up for a side slam three seconds later.
Randy starts going after the ribs and knocks Nash to the floor so the girls can get in shots of their own. Back in and Savage drops the big elbow for two. Nash comes back with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot and the strap comes down. The girls all interfere and get dispatched but SID VICIOUS runs in and attacks Nash for the DQ.
Rating: F. The main event of a pay per view didn’t even make it seven and a half minutes. Actually that’s a bit better than the alternative of watching these two fight any longer as it’s clear that Savage has nothing left in the ring. Sid interfering was a big surprise as he hadn’t been seen in a major wrestling company (unless you count ECW) since 1997. Nash not selling the ribs for the opening part of the match brought it down but you can’t expect Nash to sell and toss his hair at the same time.
Overall Rating: F. If I’ve ever seen a less interesting or worse show, I can’t recall it off the top of my head. There was one good match, three matches that should have been on Nitro or Thunder (one of which was) and Sting being attacked by dogs. Say that out loud and see if you think it’s stupid. Couple that with the horrible main event and there isn’t much to feel good about.
The problem here is much more than the wrestling being bad. This show died because there’s nothing interesting going on. Nothing on here makes me want to tune in to see what’s coming. It’s all the old guys dominating and the young guys getting beaten down. In theory that should set up a good story, but I have no faith in WCW to pull that off. Hogan’s return looms over everything too and that might make things even worse. I’m not sure how, but it could. This was one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen and I didn’t see much hope.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Thunder – June 10, 1999: So They…..I Really Don’t Care Anymore
Thunder Date: June 10, 1999
Location: Onecenter, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Larry Zbyezko, Mike Tenay
It’s finally the go home show for Great American Bash and things are really falling apart around here. We have Randy Savage trying to kill Nash, Piper not being able to shut up, the old vs. new feud still not being able to get started, and random lucha libre hardcore tag team matches blowing the doors off the place. Let’s get to it.
The announcers talk about Nash (and the still unmentioned cameramen) nearly getting killed on Nitro.
Savage and the girls are in the limo and Randy thinks he sees Nash. He jumps out and beats up a tall guy but it’s Brian Adams. Savage yells at Adams for not being Kevin Nash and Adams isn’t sure what to say.
Video on Rick Steiner vs. Sting. Their match is officially falls count anywhere.
Video on Nash vs. Savage.
Gene brings out Buff Bagwell for a chat. Apparently it’s Buff vs. Disco on Sunday, which is Piper’s way of giving Buff the ball. Bagwell actually thinks for a change and points out how worthless the match is since he already beat Disco on Monday. This brings out Ernest Miller who says he should be getting the ball. Buff says they didn’t give the Cat the ball because he would fumble it. Gene and Sonny Onoo get into it as Buff and Miller make a match for later tonight.
Psychosis/Villano V vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.
As Rey and Konnan make their way to the ring, Tenay says Bigelow and Page are still Tag Team Champions as per Ric Flair’s orders. Rey and Psychosis get things going but the masked man has to yell at the fans first. Mysterio finally grabs a headlock but gets shoved away and slapped in the face. They’re firmly in first gear at the moment. Mysterio hiptosses him over but telegraphs a monkey flip and gets caught with a legdrop. Psychosis charges into a boot in the corner and Rey slides between his legs for the hot tag off to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Psychosis takes a Bronco Buster.
We settle back down and Villano crotches Rey on the top rope, setting up a spinwheel kick to the back of the head from Psychosis for two. Mysterio fights both guys off again and makes the second hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down again and Rey hurricanranas Psychosis down. Konnan and Psychosis botch the heck out of the X-Factor as Konnan jumped but Psychosis went straight down for an ugly looking crash. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana for the pin on Psychosis.
Rating: D+. Not terrible but the botch at the end dragged it down and the stalling at the beginning didn’t make things much better. Rey and Konnan had decent chemistry together and made for a good team, even though they’re stuck in a feud with Hennig and Duncum, who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world right now.
Hennig/Duncum vs. Konnan/Mysterio is official for Sunday.
Gene brings out Page and Kanyon for a chat. Page and Okerlund get in an argument over wrestling tradition in Syracuse. Gene doesn’t need to worry about where Bigelow is because any two members of the Jersey Triad can defend the belts whenever they like. Page mentions Flair returning the belts to them and the official rematch is on Sunday. Kanyon: “I got something to say! WHAT HE SAID!” Just setting up another match on Sunday and letting the crowd know what’s going on.
Savage and the girls run into Adams and says they’ll be having a match later. Another segment that didn’t need to air.
We recap Savage and Nash from Monday.
Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat
Disco gets on commentary to complain about Bagwell. Miller hammers and kicks away to start before slamming him down for no cover. Instead he loads up a People’s Elbow but drops a palm strike instead. Buff comes back with the usual generic offense until his ten punches in the corner are broken up by a low blow. Miller chokes a lot and sends Bagwell to the floor so Sonny can do the same.
Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Buff elbows his way up, only to have his eyes raked to put him back down. Miller misses a chop and takes a few atomic drops, followed by Scotty Riggs’ forearm. Come on Buff quit messing with his heart. Sonny slips in the crowbar but Buff takes it away and uses it on Sonny’s ribs, somehow drawing a DQ.
Rating: D. We need to get to the point where Miller almost never wrestles and just talks. Either that or get rid of Sonny Onoo so he can’t bore everyone to death anymore. The ending is another good example of how the DQ is a stupid way to finish a match. Bagwell is supposed to be getting a push, but he can’t isn’t allowed to pin ERNEST MILLER?
Post match Norton runs in and lays out Miller as Disco hits the Last Dance on Buff.
Here are Saturn and Benoit for a chat. Benoit used to have the utmost respect for Flair but now that’s once upon a time. He’s going to get his payback and Flair better be ready. Saturn says they don’t have to like each other but they’ll get the job done. So I guess Raven isn’t a factor anymore? Malenko is seen watching from behind them but leaves when Gene mentions him.
This Week In WCW Motorsports.
Brian Adams vs. Randy Savage
Savage says this is just a warmup for Sunday, so Adams tells the girls that he’ll show them who the real macho man is a little bit later. Feeling out process to start until the girls offer a distraction to let Savage get in the first shot. Adams comes right back with a backbreaker and some chops before a clothesline puts him outside.
Madusa fires in a kick to the ribs for a distraction as Savage sends him into the steps. Savage walks around the ring for a bit until Adams gorilla presses him onto the barricade. Back in and Savage gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Madusa comes in. This isn’t a DQ for some reason so Adams gorilla presses her, only to get clipped. Vince tries to interfere so Savage hits the banned elbow for the pin.
Rating: D-. Adams’ look of mild annoyance when he was down on the floor told you everything you needed to know here. Savage just does not care at this point and can’t do much besides punches, chokes and the occasional top rope elbow. Naturally Flair banned the move to make Savage even more one dimensional of a wrestler.
The Black and White hits the ring but Savage and the girls easily dispatch them.
TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Rick Steiner
Rick does his catchphrase to Sting and for some reason the word bite is censored. This could be interesting as Finlay can be just as stiff as Stiner. Finlay starts fast with a pair of atomic drops but Rick doesn’t sell. Shocking indeed. Rick nails his namesake line and chokes a lot before taking it outside for a whip into the barricade. Finlay is sent into the steps and hit low before they go back inside.
The champ gets punched in the face and put in a front facelock until he fights out with knees and right hands. He slaps the referee because Steiner is kind of a jerk and then suplexes Finlay for two. A belly to back suplex puts Rick down and the rolling fireman’s carry gets two. They head back outside with Steiner pulling back the mats for a bulldog on the concrete. This time it’s Finlay’s turn to no sell as he puts Rick in a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first on the barricade. Back in and Rick nails a quick German suplex followed by the top rope bulldog and his arm hold for the submission.
Rating: D+. I’ll give is some points for how hard they were hitting each other but the match was pretty boring otherwise. It’s nice to see someone beat up Steiner like he does to everyone else but you know Rick is getting the huge push no matter how sick people get of him. Somehow this is one of the better Thunder matches in awhile.
Ad for the PPV.
Kevin Nash calls in and says he’s banged up but he’ll be in Baltimore on Sunday. The rumor has been that Scott Hall was driving the Hummer but he hasn’t been able to confirm it. He also wants the elbow drop reinstated so Savage will have no excuses.
Kanyon vs. Perry Saturn
Kanyon bails as Saturn gets in like a true heel should. They circle each other for a bit with Kanyon hiding in the ropes over and over. A right hand sends Kanyon running to the floor but he slides back in as Saturn dives at him. They trade places again and this time Saturn nails the dive before choking with a cable cord. Saturn takes him up the ramp and suplexes him down before sending him face first into the Thunder logo.
After choking gets boring, Saturn just throws Kanyon down to the floor but Kanyon lands on his feet. They get back in the ring where Kanyon gets in a few shots, only to get nailed in the face. More punching ensues with a suplex thrown in for good measure. Kanyon finally crotches him to get a breather and we hit a chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two on Saturn as the announcers WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT SAVAGE AND NASH. Kanyon gets two more off a slingshot elbow and they trade some rollups as the fans chant boring. Seriously? The match isn’t great but you let Savage and Adams get by?
Kanyon scores with a powerbomb and a legdrop between the legs for two more. Saturn pops back up with a superkick and a middle rope cross body for two of his own. An overhead belly to belly sends Kanyon flying and Saturn drops a frog splash but can’t cover. We take a late break and come back with Saturn fighting out of a sleeper. Not that it matters as Page comes in and nails Saturn for the DQ. There were maybe thirty seconds after the break.
Rating: C. The fans need some lessons in interesting wrestling. It’s not a great match but Kanyon jumping over the ropes and Saturn throwing him all over the place are more than enough to make this a decent match. While not shocking, the ending hurts it a good deal as I’d like to see a finish, but for some reason that’s rarely allowed.
Saturn gets double teamed until Benoit comes out. He takes a beating too so the referee makes a Tag Team Title match RIGHT NOW.
Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon
Fans are throwing garbage into the ring, including a big tub of popcorn and a bottle of beer. Kanyon grabs the beer for a drink as Page hits a Batista Bomb for two on Saturn. A double suplex gets two and it’s Flatliner time, but Saturn drops to his knees and comes up with a t-bone suplex. The hot tag brings in the Canadian to beat up some Jersey boys, including a great looking release German suplex on Kanyon. Malenko and Anderson come out and yell at each other as Benoit grabs the Crossface on Page. Kanyon makes a save but gets slammed and Swan Dove for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted but the match wasn’t even four minutes long. Of course that’s assuming Flair doesn’t overturn it again or that the titles don’t go back to the Jersey boys on Sunday. Either way, it’s nice for a match to end with a pinfall instead of the far too common DQ.
Overall Rating: D. We’ve reached the point where this is a decent show by WCW standards. I’m really hoping things change after Sunday because this is about as dull and uninteresting of a month as I can remember in a long time. The matches and frequent DQ’s are getting worse and worse, which actually makes me hope Russo’s time is at least more interesting. Yes, I’m looking forward to Russo. That’s how far I’ve fallen.
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Monday Nitro – June 7, 1999: Sewage, Attempted Murder, and WHAT WAS THAT?
Monday Nitro #191
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff
It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash which hopefully means we’re finally getting some new main stories instead of the drek we’ve been sitting through so far. The big old vs. new story needs to get going and hopefully we can get there after this coming Sunday. Or at least to something other than Nash vs. Savage. Let’s get to it.
We open in the back with Savage and the girls getting out of a white limo. He opens the trunk and gets out a bucket full of some very unpleasant looking stuff. Savage is looking for Nash of course.
Hak vs. Prince Iaukea
Just what I always wanted. Hak smoking a cigarette freaks Tony out. JJ comes out and says they can’t have a match until the cigarette is out. That gets him smoke in the face so Bischoff gets off commentary and gets in the ring. Bischoff gets the same treatment as Dillon so he calls off security and smacks Hak himself as the bell rings. Bischoff says let the match start and the Prince hammers away for one.
A Samoan drop is broken up by a fire extinguisher blast from Chastity and it’s table time. Eric: “Hak can’t throw two punches before he gets winded!” Hak puts Prince on the table for a Swanton but the table doesn’t break. He whips Iaukea into the table in the corner but it STILL doesn’t break so he just covers for the pin.
Morrus and Knobs come in for the beatdown on Hak but Kidman makes the save and goes after Hak until Morrus stomps Kidman down. Brian beats Hak with the stick and everyone brawls around the arena. What a waste of nine minutes.
Nitro Girls.
We look at the septic tank stuff from last week.
DJ Ran.
Bischoff: “The guy under the hood’s initials are VM.” This was the night of the Higher Power reveal. This would be more historic if anyone was watching Nitro at this point.
Master P. might be here later.
Lenny Lane vs. Scotty Riggs
Bischoff spends the intros mocking Sable’s lawsuit against the WWF. I’d be shocked if 2% of the audience had any idea what he’s talking about. Riggs gets annoyed at Lane trying to use his mirror and jumps him, allowing Eric to babble about Paul Orndorff using a mirror. Eric: “Be original.” Lane comes back with right hands in the corner and drops Riggs with a bulldog as Lodi comes down the aisle. Riggs gets taken down by an airplane spin, but it makes Lane so dizzy that he does the Sting fall onto the crotch. Dang it WCW you have to tell me when I’m watching a comedy match.
A hot shot gives Riggs control and he throws Lenny out at Lodi’s feet. Back in and Riggs drives a knee into Lane’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Riggs stops to look at the mirror and gets rolled up for two but avoids a dropkick to keep himself in control. He ducks an enziguri but gets caught in a reverse powerbomb of all things for two. I’ve always thought that would be an awesome looking move. Not that it matters as Riggs comes right back with a Fameasser for the pin.
Rating: D+. Scotty Riggs is not interesting, no matter how many times WCW tries to push him on their shows. The narcissistic gimmick has taken him about as far as it can, which should tell you everything you need to know. As for Lenny and Lodi, I know what’s coming, and it’s one of those things that we need to just get through as fast as possible.
Flair is in the back, trying to convince Benoit to be a Horseman again. He’s ready to pass the torch to Chris but Benoit isn’t sure. Flair talks about the feud he and Anderson had a few years back (wasn’t that faked?) and Benoit says he’ll think about it. Saturn comes in and says he and Kanyon want their rematch tonight, but Flair says he was going to give himself and Benoit the shot at the titles. Benoit reluctantly agrees and hugs Flair.
Here are Savage and the girls with the bucket. We’ll ignore his bright pink feathery coat. Savage knows Nash isn’t in the building tonight and issues an open challenge to anyone that is man enough to face him. This brings out Sting who says he’s back in black even though Savage is pretty in pink. The match is on for later, even though Sting says Savage is on Viagra. Savage: “NOW YOU’RE GONNA GET IT!” I really don’t want to see that if I can avoid it.
Nitro Girls
Septic truck stuff again.
Here’s Kevin Nash wheeling a bag to the ring. He says Savage isn’t here yet because he can’t smell Macho yet, if you know what he’s spewing. His gear is in the bag (now sitting in a chair) and he’s heard Savage saying he doesn’t like looking ridiculous, but he still comes out here looking like he does. Fair point actually. If Savage wants him, come get him.
Cue Savage with the bucket and the girls. He says he has a present for Nash because no one has ever treated him like that last week. Savage wants Nash to admit that he’s a monkey who made a mistake and isn’t on his level. Nash: “I only brought one bag down and you brought three.”
Nash bails to the floor and says if Savage wants him, put down the bucket. Macho complies but Nash wants the girls to hold open the ropes. Now he asks Savage to get on his knees and beg, which Savage kind of does. With Savage’s back to the ring, the bag starts to move. A girl gets out of the bag and empties the bucket over Savage’s head. It’s a stupid segment, but well done on the surprise with the bag.
Tag Team Titles: Diamond Dallas Page/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ric Flair/Chris Benoit
The Jersey boys are defending and Anderson comes out with the challengers. Page and Benoit slug it out to start with the Canadian getting the better of it. He slugs Bigelow to the floor and dives through the ropes to take him down as well. Back in and Flair hammers on Bigelow as well with Benoit snapping Page into the Crossface but it’s right next to the ropes. Off to Flair for the Figure Four and he’s able to avoid a headbutt from Bigelow at the same time.
Everything breaks down with the Horsemen chopping everyone in sight. There’s a low blow to Page and it’s off to Benoit. Page rolls over and tags Bigelow who comes in with some falling headbutts for two. A big suplex gets two on Benoit and Page draws in Flair, allowing the champs to double team. They start going after the knee as Bischoff lists off why he hates Flair and Page. Flair comes in without a tag and slugs it out in the corner with Page but gets dropped with a low blow.
Things settle back down and Page rubs Benoit’s face in the mat. Off to a front facelock as things slow down a bit. Benoit lifts Page up three times in a row but can’t drive him to the corner. A fourth time gets him even closer but Bigelow comes in to block the tag. Bam Bam misses the top rope headbutt and Benoit crawls over…..as Flair walks out. Well of course he does.
Anderson is livid so he takes his shirt off and gets on the apron as a replacement. Bigelow has Benoit in a reverse chinlock as Saturn runs out to get on the apron, kind of making this a handicap match. Benoit dives over and tags in Saturn as house is cleaned. The Death Valley Driver to Page out of nowhere gives Benoit and Saturn the titles.
Rating: C. Of course it’s not going to stand because Benoit and Saturn are young and over but it was a nice moment while it lasted. The match was all about the run-in finish and Flair turning on Benoit after turning towards him about an hour earlier. I can’t stand those kind of stories as they could be stretched out to build up the drama for weeks and instead they do it this fast. Almost every company does it and it gets old fast.
Kanyon runs out post match and nails Saturn with a Flatliner, setting up a three on two beatdown.
DJ Ran.
Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King
Bischoff is off commentary. This is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. It’s a brawl to start with Silver King kicking a chair into Damien’s face. Ciclope nails King with a trashcan and whips La Parka into it for good measure. There’s another can brought in and wrapped around La Parka’s head for Poetry In Motion from Damien. La Parka bails to the floor but gets caught with a baseball slide with a chair to knock him silly. Not that it matters as he picks up a chair and nails a diving Ciclope in the head with the same chair in an awesome visual.
Damien dropkicks La Parka off the chair and goes outside, only to have to throw the chair at a diving Silver King. La Parka puts Damien in the chair and takes him down with another suicide dive before Silver King throws a trashcan out of the ring and over Ciclope’s head. He follows it up with an Asai Moonsault to take everyone out in a cool spot. Damien takes La Parka back inside and takes a chair to the head followed by a trashcan lid for a bonus.
La Parka sets up a chair and tries a superplex on Damien, but has to settle for just throwing him face first onto the chair for two. Ciclope NAILS La Parka with a trashcan lid to break up a top rope hurricanrana attempt, swinging so hard that it flies to the announcers’ table and into Schiavone’s hands.
Ciclope gets backdropped to the floor as Damien is setting up a table. It doesn’t last long though as Silver King tornado DDTs Ciclope through the table for another big crash. Damien’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through another table for two. Tony: “He kicked out!” Heenan: “WHY???” La Parka sets up two chairs and powerbombs Damien onto them (with the chairs not giving an inch) for the pin.
Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? This was an outstanding brawl with all four guys hitting each other as hard as they could for some awesome bumps and spots. It’s a seven minute match that had me wanting to see more, even though I’m not a fan of most of the guys involved. I have no idea where this came from or why it wasn’t done more often, but it’s worth checking out. Really good stuff.
More DJ Ran as he talks some trash about Hennig.
Norton yells at the Black and White for his loss last week. They don’t have much to say in response.
Here’s the Cat for another of his open challenges. Miller is in full on James Brown mode now, which is a big upgrade for him and his lame karate character. He brags about shaking up the world until he finally gets an opponent.
Cat vs. Horace Hogan
Horace jumps him from behind but Miller comes back with kicks and dancing. A running clothesline in the corner has Cat in trouble again but an Onoo distraction lets him get in a crowbar shot for the pin.
Cat runs from the Black and White post match.
Nitro Girls.
Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. He sucks up to the Cleveland fans and thinks it’s time we stir things up, which he’ll do by winning control of the company back on Sunday. Unless I missed it, that’s the first time that stipulation has been mentioned. Piper has been hearing a lot of the young kids in the back saying they should be in the main event. Well he’s tired of all the complaining and wants Buff Bagwell out here right now.
Piper asks how many years Bagwell has been wrestling (eight) and if Buff has ever wrestled in Madison Square Garden. Buff says he hasn’t, so Piper calls him Buffy. Bagwell says it’s not 1975 anymore and his name is Buff. He’d do anything to get to the top, so Piper offers him a match with Flair. They shake hands and that’s that.
We go to the parking lot where the girls are in the limo. They try to get Nash to join them for a night on the town. He reluctantly agrees and gets in….as Savage is revealed as the driver. A white Hummer crushes the car. It rams the car a few more times and leaves as we see Nash’s arm sticking out of the window and falling. That’s a nice callback to Nash’s tremendous role in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II of course. We never saw who was driving the Hummer.
Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Why exactly is Rey Cruiserweight Champion again? Mysterio comes out in a gas mask for no apparent reason. Konnan and Hennig are both on commentary though Konnan is at DJ Ran’s booth instead of ringside. Oh this is going to be a long match. Rey gets right in Duncum’s….well chest but it’s as close as he can get. Bobby slams him out of the corner to take over but Rey comes back by just nailing him in the face over and over.
A springboard moonsault gets two and a headscissors sends Bobby out to the floor. Thankfully he’s down long enough for Rey to stop and tie his shoe. Back in and Rey misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a shoulder breaker for two. Mysterio slips out of a second attempt and dropkicks Duncum into the corner for the Bronco Buster. Rey is in control but Hennig just gets up and nails him for the DQ.
Rating: D+. The match didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the ending was stupid. It didn’t help that Konnan was only on commentary so he couldn’t stop Hennig from interfering, which makes the decision all the stranger. This culture clash feud isn’t bad, but the rappers need a better talker. Or at least one that doesn’t make me want to saw off my ears with a cheese grater.
Tony and Heenan talk seriously about Nash getting crushed. The cameramen in the limo aren’t mentioned even though they’re probably dead too.
DJ Ran AGAIN.
The Steiners come out, say catchphrases, imply that Luger is gone, and say they’re at the top of the food chain. Somehow this takes five minutes.
Recap of the girl in the bag. You really can’t talk about a comedy segment after THREE PEOPLE JUST GOT KILLED IN A CAR CRASH.
Here’s Disco to complain about Bagwell. Buff had the chance to look Piper in the eye and say what he really thought of him but Bagwell didn’t go through with it. “No wonder you got thrown out of the Wolfpac.” Actually didn’t he get thrown out for saying what he really thought of Steiner? Anyway, if Buff is really a man, he’ll come out here right now for a match. Buff comes out and says at least he was in the Wolfpac. You know it’s on now.
Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno
Disco jumps him from behind to start but Bagwell fights back with his wide array of punches, clotheslines and slams. A big slam lets Buff pose but Disco nails a running knee lift of his own, followed by a middle rope elbow for two. We come back from a break with Buff fighting out of a chinlock. He gets dropped with a clothesline but this time avoids the middle rope elbow. Buff makes another comeback and they trade swinging neckbreakers, only to have Buff slam him down and hit the Blockbuster for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not bad here as they try yet again to rebuild Buff. Granted this would be a bit easier if he hadn’t lost in his big showdown with Steiner, but we can’t have something crazy like a Steiner losing a match now can we? Disco is an interesting choice for a soldier in the young man army, but I’m not sure how far he can go.
Nitro Girls.
Randy Savage vs. Sting
Sting charges to the ring and Savage runs off. George jumps on Sting’s back to give Savage a shot and Macho hammers away in the corner to start. They head outside with Sting being dropped throat first across the barricade, allowing Madusa to get in a few kicks. Back in and Savage hammers away even more as he still has his sunglasses on.
More choking and punching ensues before it’s back to the floor to continue the brawling. Sting goes into the barricade again before heading back inside for some powder to his face. Madusa distracts the referee but Miss Madness gets shoved off the top. Savage piledrives the referee as this mess is thrown out.
Rating: F. Sting did not get in a single bit of offense, Savage did nothing but brawl and throw powder, and the girls had too much offense again. The main event scene is getting worse all the time, and somehow we have Savage vs. Nash coming up to keep things as low as they can be.
Sting makes his comeback after having no offense during the match. He stomps on Savage in the corner but Rick Steiner comes out to beat Sting down. Scott Steiner comes out with a belt shot to the face but Luger makes the save with the ball bat to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Some of the wrestling was better tonight, but the stories have gone off a cliff. Stuff like Tank Abbott attacking Sting, Goldberg in general, Piper being fired, Bischoff somehow having authority again and other stuff I’m sure I’ve forgotten are either dropped of just gone with sans explanation. On top of that there’s the old vs. new story, which has been talked about for weeks but somehow hasn’t been started yet. Maybe they’re waiting for the Bash or the night after, but could we get some actual action on it instead of just people saying they’re frustrated?
It’s like this company is being run by different people week to week and no one has told the other what we’re supposed to be seeing. The ideas are the same in general, but no one has ever gone over any details. Either that or no one has any idea how to pace a story. Look at Nash vs. Savage for example. They went from Savage putting makeup on Nash to Nash covering Savage with the stuff in the bucket to ATTEMPTED MURDER in the span of a week. All of this is setting up a match on Sunday where Nash likely won’t even sell these injuries.
Then there’s Bischoff, who can’t shut up long enough to let any points get across. It’s like he’s sitting there trying to riff on the show but no one is getting half the jokes he’s saying. If he wants to make amends, why is he spending two hours a week ripping on most of the talent? The jokes are going over fans’ heads of just confusing them, given how Bischoff doesn’t seem to be on any side. Other than the non-smokers’ side I guess. Bad show here, but check out that hardcore tag match.
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Thunder – June 3, 1999: The Wolverine Will Save Us
Thunder Date: June 3, 1999 Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
Thing shave to be getting better soon. I mean, I don’t think it’s possible for them to continue being this bad. WCW has been trying this idea of just throwing every boring idea they have out there to bury the good stuff and it’s bombing horribly. The lower card stuff is terribly uninteresting and the main event stuff is awful but there’s a little glimmer in there with all the talent they’ve got. If some of that got a better focus, there’s serious potential in there. Let’s get to it.
The announcers do their intro and the fans want Goldberg. You’ll have to wait until production wraps people.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scotty Riggs
Before we have the match, Riggs has the referee hold the mirror for him. Bigelow, mentioned as a Tag Team Champion but sans belt, hammers away in the corner. Riggs escapes a slam and dropkicks Bigelow into the corner for ten punches, followed by another dropkick and choking. The big man takes him down with a drop toehold of all things and headbutts the leg before going to a chinlock.
Riggs tries to fight back but gets dropped by a knee to the ribs. They head outside with Bam Bam working on the chest and sending Riggs into the barricade. Back in and Bigelow drops a headbutt for two but gets rolled up for the same. Bigelow takes Riggs’ head off with clotheslines but charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a Fameasser for another near fall. Riggs goes up and dives into a punch, setting up Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.
Rating: C-. Shockingly competitive match here as a new champion had to rbeak a bit of a sweat to beat a narcissistic….Riggs is a heel right? He has a heel character but he was wrestling like a face here. The match wasn’t bad for an opener and it actually entertained me instead of making me look for a pillow and blanket.
We look back at Bigelow and Page winning the Tag Team Titles on Monday. Shouldn’t that have aired before the match?
Clip of Brian Knobs attacking Hak on Monday.
Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman
Morrus hammers away to start but gets caught by a headscissors. A hurricanrana and dropkick put Hugh outside and Kidman nails a nice plancha. Jimmy Hart tries to get in a cheap shot and is stared away in fear. Back in and Hart interferes again to let Morrus take over as the power game begins.
Morrus hammers away on him in the corner and gorilla presses him down for two. He sends Kidman into the corner for a running splash but misses another charge, allowing Kidman to hit a missle dropkick. Morrus comes right back by clotheslining Kidman out to the floor. Back in and Kidman avoids the top rope elbow, setting up a Bodog out of the corner for two. Morrus’ powerbomb is of course countered but Brian Knobs runs out to break up the Shooting Star for the DQ.
Rating: D. Much more basic match here as we’re now using Kidman to push the First Family. Again, we have an example of a guy that could have moved up the card being used to push more dead end older characters that aren’t going to go anywhere but for some reason keep getting the push over someone like Kidman.
Post match the First Family destroys Kidman until Hak makes the save….and beats Kidman down as well. That’s what you get for tearing the house down with Mysterio and Guerrera for months.
Brian Adams vs. Buff Bagwell
Adams, ever the gentleman, offers a handshake but gets posed at instead. Buff hammers away in the corner and they trade atomic drops with Adams’ having no effect for some reason. An armdrag and dropkick send Brian to the floor and us to a commercial. Back with Buff fighting out of a bearhug but walking into a belly to belly suplex. We break away from that to listen to some words of wisdom from Vince. A backbreaker gets two on Buff and Adams throws out him out to the floor. Vince gets in a few more shots because he can talk trash and forearm people in the back.
Back in and Buff avoids a knee drop to start his comeback with the usual stuff: clothesline, neckbreaker, cross body, strut. The referee gets bumped so Vince brings in a chair (he can do THREE things!) and accidentally hits Adams (I didn’t say he could do them well). The referee wakes up to count the pin but says it was two, even though he slapped the mat three times and Buff’s music played. We keep going with Adams nailing a big boot and sending Buff to the floor for a beating from Vince. Bagwell dispatches him pretty easily of course and the Blockbuster gets the pin.
Rating: D. Too long here and the ending made me say “great. We get to keep going.” Adams really isn’t all that good other than being a generic power guy and there are tons of them in WCW. The match went on longer than it should have and Bagwell really doesn’t look all that special from beating up Vince and Adams.
We see Savage vs. the fake Nash from Monday.
This Week In WCW Motorsports.
Recap of Scott Norton vs. Ernest Miller.
Scott Norton vs. Silver King
I don’t see this ending well. King tries to come in with a missile dropkick but it just bounces off of Norton’s chest. The pain begins with Norton just toying with King, blasting him with a hard clothesline and even harder chops in the corner. A pair of headbutts put him down again but Norton finally misses a charge. Silver King’s moonsault press has the same effect as the dropkick and it’s another clothesline followed by the powerbomb to complete the squash.
Rating: D+. See, this is the Scott Norton I could get behind. He was never going to be a big deal in WCW but you could make him look like a monster for someone to beat in a big win. Maybe throw him into the midcard title scene if those belts weren’t locked up by the Steiners for whatever reason.
Recap of rap vs. country.
Curt Hennig vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
If Hennig tries this could be awesome. He jumps Mysterio during his entrance and sends him face first into the buckle. Rey comes back by sending Hennig head first into the mat and nails a quick springboard legdrop to send Curt outside. Back in and Curt snaps Rey throat first across the top rope and hits a quick atomic drop to seen Mysterio throat first into the buckle. They head right back outside with Mysterio being thrown into the barricade and dropped throat first onto the barricade as we take a break.
After we look at ads for WCW Magazine, we come back with Mysterio headscissoring Hennig down and going after his knee. He dropkicks it down and hammers away in the corner until Curt rakes the eyes. Hennig drops some elbows to the chest and face, followed by the Hennig Neck Snap for two.
We even get a Rick Rude hip swivel as a nice tribute before Curt scores with a dropkick. Back up and Rey goes to the knee again, setting up a split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. Curt counters a standing Lionsault but gets sent chest first into the buckle. It’s right back to the knee to set up a springboard seated senton for two, followed by a low dropkick to the face. There’s the Bronco Buster but Bobby Duncum comes out and breaks it up for the DQ. So Konnan will stop cowboys from beating up his friends but not hardcore freaks?
Rating: C+. Yeah it was good but of course it had to end in a DQ because Heaven forbid we get a pin in anything but a squash. Mysterio looked good out there and the knee work was a nice running idea throughout the match. These two getting PPV time and a finish could be great stuff.
The cowboys double team Mysterio until Kidman and Konnan make the save.
We see the septic tank stuff with Nash and Savage from Nitro.
Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair
Think this is going to be better? Asya is the only second in the entire match. Ric takes him into the corner to start and they trade some chops until the referee breaks it up. It’s Benoit taking over with more shots in the corner to send Flair out the floor and up the aisle. Back in and Benoit takes him to the mat and puts on a Figure Four to check off a spot on the Flair Bingo card. Ric realizes he’s about six inches from the ropes and the hold is broken.
Flair begs off but gets beaten up in the corner even more. Naitch finally goes to the eyes to get a breather and stomps away on the ropes. Asya plays old school JJ Dillon by getting in some shots but unfortunately doesn’t take off her shoe. Benoit comes back with a bunch of right hands in the corner and a backdrop to put him down again. The veteran begs off and trips Chris up for a rollup with feet on the ropes in the corner for two.
They fight outside for some Canadian chops before Benoit takes him back inside for a snap suplex. Both guys ram heads to put each other down. It’s Benoit up first with a sleeper until Ric counters, only to be sent face first into the buckle again. Chris gets two off an O’Connor Roll and fires off even more chops.
Flair kicks him in the face and tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up for another two. Ric gets in a knee crusher though and now the Figure Four goes on. The hold is turned over and Benoit makes the ropes before nailing an enziguri to put both guys down again. Back up and Benoit nails his running clothesline but Bigelow and Page break up the Swan Dive for the DQ.
Rating: B-. The intensity here alone makes it a better match but it’s not quite a great match. Benoit looked more than capable of hanging in a main event match and should be ready to move up the card. It’s a good match but we’re reaching the point where you know someone is going to run in and that’s ruining a lot of entertaining matches.
Benoit takes an elevated Diamond Cutter and isn’t saved to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The main event brings this up a lot and it’s certainly one of the better ones, but the DQ’s need to stop. They keep doing the same thing over and over to protect people for the big matches, but then the same thing happens in the big pay per view matches. At least it was better than some of the more recent shows, even though it still wasn’t anything great.
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