Wrestler of the Day – August 4: Raven

Today is Raven. What about him eh?

Raven would start in Texas before moving to Florida and Portland. He finally made it to WCW as Scotty Flamingo, including this match at Beach Blast 1992.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty Flamingo vs. Brian Pillman

Like I said, it’s Raven as a beach guy. Pillman is his usual insane self but in a good way here. Imagine Raven wearing pink biker shorts. That’s just odd as all goodness. We get some very nice chain wrestling which gets a decent pop from the crowd. The speed here on Raven is very interesting indeed as it just isn’t like him at all but it’s working rather well.

Pillman works the arm over for a LONG time but as he goes up top he’s told he’ll be disqualified if he jumps off. Yes, in the light heavyweight division, we can’t have people jump off the top rope. WE WANT ARMBARS! Oh there also are no mats outside so when you get thrown out you land on concrete. Watts actually defended this as making the wrestlers tough.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Seriously, there’s a big difference between toughening the wrestlers up and being a freaking prick that needs to get over himself HUGE. We shift into a mat based match which is fine as it’s what Scotty is best at. We’ve had WAY too many chinlocks in this.

Ok now we’re picking it up a bit as Pillman is just going nuts which means that the match is getting a lot better. After all kinds of jumping around and going all over the place though he dives at Flamingo on the ramp and just slams into the ramp. A knee to the back and Scotty gets the pin. My guess is that wasn’t a legit injury but it could have been.

Rating: B-. The chinlocks and rest holds killed this one from being great for me. I think 18 minutes was a bit too long for these two but it wasn’t a trainwreck at all. The parts that were good were good and the parts that were bad were bad. I liked it but a few minutes cut out would have helped it a lot.

Flamingo would go to the WWF and become Johnny Polo. He was mainly a manager but would occasionally have a match, including this one on Raw, December 27, 1993.

Johnny Polo vs. Marty Jannetty

Polo’s clients the Quebecers are on commentary and praising him for his in ring technique. Marty grabs a hammerlock to start but gets taken down for a standoff. Johnny grabs a headlock but gets sent into the buckle. An atomic drop and rollup get two each and it’s off to an armbar on the mat with Polo in trouble. Jannetty misses a charge and Johnny hits a dive to take him out again.

Back in and a cross body gets two for Marty but Johnny grabs a chinlock. That lasts all of two seconds before Jannetty gets all fired up and elbows Polo in the face. Johnny crotches him on the top but gets shoved down when trying a superplex. A high cross body gets two for Marty and a rollup gets the same. Marty dropkicks him out to the floor and ignores some Quebecer interference. He goes up top, only to dive on Pierre instead of Johnny. Back in and Marty tries a sunset flip but Johnny falls on top and Pierre offers some help for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty horrible with the lack of chemistry really hurting things. Polo wasn’t supposed to be any good but that presents a problem when you’re trying to have a match with him. I’ve seen far worse but this went on too long, especially with the ending. They could have done the same thing in about five minutes instead of nine.

It was off to ECW after this for the most famous character of Raven’s career: Raven, a loner who eventually acquired a stable called Raven’s Nest. He was very psychological and tormented various people. This would include a LONG feud with Tommy Dreamer, with one of the big matches coming at November to Remember 1995.

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

Another of Raven’s top feuds was with Sandman so we’ll look at a match from February of 1996.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Sandman

I believe this is at Cyberslam 1996. Sandman, flanked by Missy Hyatt, finally starts his entrance after about two minutes of standing around. Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie quickly bail and the brawl is on after nearly eight minutes of entrances. Raven throws him outside and hits a plancha to take over. Sandman whips him into the barricade though and grabs a chair. He stands around for awhile before just kicking Raven in the head and walking around with him for awhile.

Back in and Sandman hits a delayed brainbuster before throwing Raven to the floor. There’s a plancha by the challenger before punching him into a chair back inside. Some Meanie interference lets Raven hit the Evenflow but Missy distracts the referee to prevent the pin. Sandman pops up and hits a DDT of his own, drawing in Raven’s chick Kimona. It’s catfight time and Stevie comes in for a superkick to give Raven two.

There goes the referee (like it matters) as Sandman “hits” a “legdrop” for two. The referee goes down again and here are Richards and Meanie to run interference. The Bruise Brothers (Harris Twins) come in with a double chokeslam for two on Sandman. Raven can’t get Sandman up for a suplex so he puts Sandman on top and pulls him face first onto the chair. The DDT on the chair retains Raven’s title.

Rating: D. Another overbooked mess that people call wrestling for some reason. The match was a glorified disaster but the best stuff in this feud was always the talking and storytelling. That being said, unfortunately we still had to sit through the wrestling and get driven crazy by the matches. Bad stuff here, again.

We’ll wrap up his ECW run with a match from Cyberslam 1997.

Raven/Brian Lee vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer

Raven is world champion. If Funk beats Raven, he gets a shot at the title at Barely Legal. Lee is a hired gun here. This is during the Dreamer can’t beat Raven angle which I would have ended at Barely Legal, but instead they went with Funk who is the guy that was from the NWA and therefore what they were against, but hey who cares about that right? Beulah, who is dating Tommy at this point, is here being her sexy self.

We get big match intros because we need to have them for what is I guess the main event. Raven comes in and lays down to let Dreamer beat him for the first time in his life so that Funk can’t get the pin to get the title shot. Dreamer, ever the moron, hits him instead. Raven pops up and says “Hey Dreamer why didn’t you pin me?” That was funny for some reason.

Off to Funk so Raven runs and hides. Dreamer comes in again as this is stupid so far. Powerslam by Lee and he brings in Raven. Dreamer gets a DDT and tags in Funk immediately to let him try to get a win. Back off to Lee as this has been pretty basic so far. Raven won’t fight Funk so the fans chant him a coward. Raven and Dreamer go to the floor and the others join them. An ECW match turning into a brawl? NO WAY!!!

They’re in the crowd already and I have a feeling I’ll be able to read a novel or so while this is going on. Funk and Raven wind up back in the ring and Raven hits him low. Dreamer and Lee are on the floor having the real fight since Funk is old and Raven is probably stoned. He grabs the mic and yells at Funk for awhile while everyone looks at Dreamer and Lee who are off camera.

This creates an obvious problem of Raven vs. Funk is more or less the occasional punch and Raven yelling while the fans are all looking away at the violence on the floor. Funk grabs the mic and I’d suggest a censor button on standby. He kicks Raven’s leg out a few times and it’s the spinning toe hold. Raven screams that he quits but there’s no referee. The referee finally comes in and Lee hits Funk with a trashcan.

Lee hammers on everyone with the trashcan. Dreamer tries to protect Funk so Funk keeps getting up. Funk can’t stand up and is bleeding from the ear. Oh I have a bad feeling where this might be going. Yep the doctors are here to check on Terry and he still wants to fight. Is this supposed to be impressive or something? Terry is put on a stretcher after a few attempts and is taken to the back.

And now it’s time to make this the big angle of the show as here’s Stevie Richards who is all ticked off at Raven which I guess explains him being in the triple threat at Barely Legal. Raven wants to be kicked but Lee picks Richards off and chokeslams him. Lori Fullington, Sandman’s ex-wife comes out and is mad at Raven also. Take a DDT girl. Down she goes also.

Dreamer, ever the genius, comes out with Sandman’s son Tyler who was brainwashed by Raven at one point. Here’s a beatdown for Dreamer as well. Sandman comes out with his son on his shoulders and it’s some big emotional moment or whatever. Sandman fights both guys off and pins Raven just because. Now there’s your triple threat and Dreamer is left out in the cold. Yep that’s how they set up their first PPV people.

Rating: F+. Dude, seriously? Another big brawl, an injury angle to an old man, an ex-wife and son being brought out and a guy that hasn’t been seen the entire night is now #1 contender. Stevie is in the same spot now for getting chokeslammed and I guess beating Balls Mahoney earlier. And people wonder why non-ECW fans complain aboutnot being able to understand this company. I had no idea why they were in that match until I saw this show. Not like that’s important information to say at Barely Legal or anything right?

Raven would jump to WCW after losing his final match to Tommy Dreamer. Here’s his first match at Clash of the Champions XXXV.

Stevie Richards vs. Raven

Raven can best be described as a loner who would eventually lead a cult called the Flock. Richards is his goofy lackey who doesn’t know what to do here. Raven isn’t under contract to WCW so he demands that it’s a No DQ match. That’s fine with Richards so Raven runs him over and sends Stevie into the corner and outside.

Raven follows him out with a plancha but gets caught in a backslide for two. They head outside again with Raven dropping an elbow from the apron. We get our first weapon with a chair brought in. Raven hooks a drop toehold to send Richards face first into the chair but Stevie whips him into the chair in the corner. A running headbutt and side slam get two on Raven but he counters a superkick into a cover for two. Raven’s Even Flow DDT is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but it was a good way for Raven to debut. The No DQ rule would be the norm for Raven for his entire WCW run and he would have success as a result. Things wouldn’t take off for him until the Flock though. Richards would be gone from WCW by the end of the year.

Raven would enter a great feud with Chris Benoit, setting up this match at Souled Out 1998.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is one of the best built matches WCW has had in a long time with Benoit having to face every member of the Flock before finally getting his hands on Raven. Raven has sent all of his lackeys to attack Benoit time after time and tonight Benoit FINALLY gets his hands on their leader. The Flock comes out to back Raven but are ejected by an executive order. Raven rants about being shunned all his life and being fine with it here. The match is also Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes.

Raven starts with a baseball slide before Benoit is even in the ring. Benoit is sent into the barricade and then the steps before heading inside for a backslide on Raven for two. Benoit is sent right back to the floor so Raven can blast him in the back with a chair. Back in and Benoit is snapmared and bulldogged down onto the chair for two. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold onto the chair (Dusty: “YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT!”) but can’t immediately follow up.

Chris hits the snap suplex onto the chair for two of his own before ripping Raven’s shirt off. Raven bails to the floor and gets caught by a baseball slide before being sent into the steps. That’s a nice callback to what Raven did to open the match. Bird Boy stumbles up the aisle with Benoit chopping him down along the way. There’s another snap suplex on the ramp to put Raven in big trouble. Back in and Benoit stomps the chair into Raven’s head before hitting the Swan Dive onto the chair but both guys are out.

Benoit finally covers for two but can’t even stand up to keep the pressure on Raven. A northern lights suplex is countered into Raven’s DDT but Raven is too weakened to cover. It’s Benoit covering Raven for two before putting on the Crossface. Raven doesn’t try to escape and instead smiles at the pain. He laughs himself into unconsciousness in a creepy moment to end the match.

Rating: A. If there’s a better Raven match out there I’d love to see it. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was brutal throughout. This is the kind of emotional response you can get to a well built feud. The place went NUTS for Benoit’s win, which makes you wonder why he was wasted for so long in WCW.

And another great match from Uncensored 1998.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is No DQ and falls count anywhere. Page is defending after invading the Benoit vs. Raven feud. It’s a triple lockup to start and now everyone stands around. Another triple lockup brings everyone out to the floor. Page is sent into the steps and the challengers fight in the ring with Benoit getting two off an elbow. Benoit stomps him down in the corner but Page comes back in to break it up. Raven and Benoit head back to the floor so DDP can hit a big dive to take them both out.

Back in again with Chris taking over and hitting a top rope splash for two on Raven. Page and Benoit slug it out to the floor but Raven dives over the top to take them both out for two on each. Page sends Benoit into the barricade but Raven charges into both of them again. Raven is whipped into the barricade and it’s Page vs. Benoit for a bit. Raven goes up by the set and comes back with a garbage can but Benoit puts it over Raven’s head so the other guys can beat on it with crutches. Benoit takes over with a crutch shot to Page’s back as they’re up by the entrance.

A trashcan to Page’s bad ribs has him in trouble and a suplex on the ramp has the ribs in even more trouble. Benoit and Raven team up for a few seconds to send Page through an Uncensored sign. Chris pulls out a kitchen sink of all things to hit Raven in the head but Raven throws a table at his head. Raven comes back with a velvet rope to choke Benoit but Chris whips Raven through the table. Page is still down as the other guys head back to the ring.

Benoit chokes Raven with the velvet rope but Raven hits him low to change momentum again. Now it’s chair time but it’s Raven taking the drop toehold into the metal. Page is slowly crawling back to the ring as Benoit whips Raven into a chair in the corner to send him to the floor. Back in and Benoit puts on a sleeper but Page comes in to put one on Benoit at the same time.

Raven hits a jawbreaker to put everyone down. Why Benoit’s leg being on Page isn’t a cover I’m not sure. Chris gets up and rolls the Germans on Raven but Page gets up to German suplex both guys at the same time. The challengers both knock Page down and Lodi hands in a stop sign to crack Page in the head. Now it’s a table as Benoit stands around. Raven puts Page on the table but Benoit cracks Raven in the head with the sign. Benoit takes Raven to the top for a superplex through Page through the table but Page knocks Benoit to the floor and Diamond Cuts Raven “though” the table to retain.

Rating: A-. This was a wild brawl before the wild brawl became the norm in wrestling. Benoit and Raven did most of the work here as Page laid up by the sign but that’s to be expected. The match was fun though and was exactly what it was supposed to be: a big ECW style battle (with a bunch of ECW spots) on a mainstream stage.

Now we’ll take out Benoit and see how things go. From Spring Stampede 1998.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Page is defending, Raven has the belt itself, this is under Raven’s Rules and the winner gets Goldberg tomorrow. Sick Boy tries to interfere at the beginning but gets a belt to the face for his efforts. Page shoves Raven into the corner and pounds away to start before hitting a belly to back suplex. A big dive to the floor takes out Raven and Sick Boy but Raven knocks Page off the apron, reinjuring the ribs. Back in and Page counters the Even Flow into a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Raven bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter and the fight heads up to the set. Page throws Raven off a stagecoach into some bails of hay before diving off said coach to take Raven down. Raven is thrown into a corral and beaten down by a trashcan. Now Raven goes through another wooden fence and suplexed onto the website table. Page is kicked into a wall and Raven blasts him in the head with a piece of metal.

They head to some VIP area with Raven diving onto Page to send him through a table. Raven pulls a bullrope off a horse and chokes Page down before grabbing a trashcan. The can freaks Tony out, despite it being used about two minutes ago. Raven wraps the rope around Page’s neck and drags him back to the ring where Sick Boy has a kitchen sink. The sink is only good for two for Raven and it’s back to the rope choking. Page fights up and drop toeholds Raven onto the sink as Tony and Heenan make plumbing jokes.

Kidman tries to interfere but splashes Raven by mistake, giving Page two. Sick Boy blasts Page with a crutch to give Raven two so Raven calls in the rest of the Flock. Hammer accidentally clotheslines Raven down so Page knocks him out with a sink. A low blow puts Page down and here’s Reese for a chokebomb, giving Raven another two count. Lodi throws in the stop sign but Page knocks it into Raven’s face and takes out a few Flock members. Kidman gets a Diamond Cutter but Horace Hogan debuts by hitting Page with the stop sign, allowing Raven to DDT Page on the sink for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of this garbage brawling style but this could have been worse. It’s good that Raven finally won the title that he’s been chasing for months and it makes sense as the numbers and style finally caught up to Page. I wasn’t liking the way most of the brawling was treated as comedy spots when the feud has been serious though. It was a reversal of what had made the feud good up to this point and hurt the match a good deal. Still though, not bad and a decent way to wrap the feud up.

From the next night on Nitro.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Raven

Raven is defending and this is under his rules. He lays the belt out in front of Goldberg and they talk trash, only to have Raven dropkick him down. We head to the floor with Raven being whipped into the barricade to give Goldberg control. Back inside and Goldie puts on a leg lock before superkicking Raven right back to the floor.

Raven grabs a chair and smashes Goldberg in the back to slow him down. There’s the drop toehold onto the chair followed by a reverse chinlock on Goldberg. The big man powers up and no sells a bunch of right hands. There’s the spear but Goldberg has to destroy the Flock. Raven tries to leave but the fans throw him back to ringside. Another spear and a Jackhammer onto a stop sign (brought in by Horace) make Goldberg US Champion.

Rating: C+. Total destruction here by Goldberg which is a good idea, but I don’t know why it had to be at Raven’s expense just one day after he won the title. The guy did some great work with Page and Benoit earlier in the year but now he gets to keep the US Title for a single day? Still though, good, hard hitting match here.

Raven would get back into the title hunt at Halloween Havoc 1998.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

This could be good. Side note: I’m watching this on the WWE Network (praise be its name) and Break the Walls Down is swapped in for Jericho’s WCW theme. My head snapped up when I heard that instead of his regular song. Raven complains about his losing streak and asks What About Me.

He went to bed at 11am this morning and then arrived at the arena to find out he’s in an unscheduled match. Well he doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight so he gets up and leaves. Jericho doesn’t want to wrestle either but all of the Jericholics are here to see him because Jericho equals buyrates and rock and roll. He was really looking forward to facing an icon like the leader of the Flock, but there wouldn’t be much of a challenge because Raven is a LOSER. That’s enough to get Raven inside for the opening bell, nearly thirteen minutes into the show.

Jericho jumps him coming in and whips Raven with his leather jacket, setting up the arrogant cover for two. Raven gets his hands on Jericho and they fall over the top and out to the floor. Jericho gets suplexed ribs first onto the steps and comes up holding his knee. A dropkick off the steps puts the champion down again. Jericho: “HELP ME!” Back in and Jericho hits a quick Stun Gun before the springboard dropkick sends Raven into the barricade.

Chris follows him out with a dive but Raven steps aside and Jericho goes head first into the barricade as well. It’s Raven’s turn now as Jericho whips him into the steel again before they head back inside. Raven bites Jericho’s face before throwing on a quickly broken sleeper. Jericho hits a backsplash and takes the turnbuckle pad off but Raven blocks the whip into the corner. A standing hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb by Raven before he catapults Jericho face first into the buckle for two.

Jericho is oddly unharmed by being sent face first into steel but Raven catches him in a belly to belly for two. Back up and Jericho sweeps the legs to put on the Liontamer. Raven is quickly in the ropes and hits the Even Flow out of nowhere for two. A low blow lets Chris hit a German suplex for another close two as Kanyon runs out and gets on the apron. Jericho immediately knocks him off and reverses another Even Flow attempt into the Liontamer for the quick submission.

Rating: B+. Why does no one bring this up as a great match for either guy? They meshed the hardcore and wrestling stuff together here and got a great match as a result. Jericho was wrestling like a face here for the most part and it worked just as well as his awesome heel run. The announcers played up how Raven has been submitting so quickly after passing out from the Crossface with a smile earlier in the year. Nice touch of continuity to go with a great match.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Raven’s last matches in WCW at Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Raven was bored in WCW and was the only man to walk out when Bischoff said that anyone who wanted out could leave. He would return to ECW and win the Tag Team Titles with Tommy Dreamer. Here’s a defense at Anarchy Rulz 1999.

Tat Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Raven vs. Rhino/Steve Corino

It’s a singles match to start as Corino stays on the ramp and Raven is nowhere to be seen. Thankfully Dreamer was just in a baseball jersey and had his gear on underneath. The powerful Rhino hammers away to start but gets caught in the corner for a neckbreaker. The impact hurts Dreamer’s back but he’s still able to chase Corino off. Jack Victory is still in a wheelchair so Dreamer shoves him into a chair shot from Francine. Dreamer gets two on Rhino off a slingshot cross body but Rhino comes back with a spinebuster for two.

Victory is now standing at ringside as Corino throws in a ladder. Dreamer’s DDT is countered, sending Tommy spine first onto a chair. Rhino powerslams Francine but here’s Raven (after he trips over the ropes) with a DDT to Rhino. Corino and Victory come in as well to hammer on the Tag Team Champions but stereo DDTs give Raven and Dreamer pins.

Rating: D. This was the usual match that made no sense if you were trying to pay attention but the fans loved it. Raven and Dreamer were yet another oddball team that had success in spite of their hatred, much in the vein of Candido and Storm a few years back. This was much more of a match than an angle, but that’s something you have to expect from ECW.

Raven left ECW in the middle of 2000 and would up in the WWF. He would start doing hardcore stuff because….well what else was he supposed to do. From Raw on January 29, 2001.

Hardcore Title: Crash vs. Raven

Raven has the cracked gold here. Crash has Molly though so I think he wins this one. Raven has his shopping cart of weapons and rams a charging Crash with it to send him off the ramp. We have shrubbery and a tricycle in there if you’re interested. We go into the crowd almost immediately as Crash hammers away with a trashcan. Crash dives out of the stands with a double axe to take Raven down for two.

They fight into the concession area and Raven finds a mop complete with mop bucket. Bulldog doesn’t work and Raven goes into a wall. Crash tries to crush him with a cart of some kind but misses a tope into said wall. We go out into the street and Crash hits a bulldog onto a park bench. Crash crotches him on a tree. Let that sink in for a minute. That gets two as Raven’s Ninja pops up to make the save and give Raven the win to retain.

Rating: C+. Energetic hardcore match here but at the same time it’s exactly what you would get in any of these matches. The Ninja thing never went anywhere at all but they had an interesting idea I guess. The idea was long since over by this point though but it would be over a year before they ended it.

Another title defense from Wrestlemania X7.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven is defending and brings out a shopping cart of goodies with him. Before Show is here, Raven tries to jump Kane for no apparent reason. My guess would be drug related mental issues but that’s just speculation. Show makes the LONG walk down the aisle, only to have Raven tossed over the top rope and down onto him. Raven is easily caught so Kane dives off the top and takes them both out, getting two on Kane.

We head into the crowd with Show never getting into the ring and the brawl is on. Bird Boy’s philosophy seems to be let the monsters brawl and sneak in some shots where he can. A street sign to Kane’s head staggers him, only for Kane to throw Raven nearly through a wall. Show chases Raven away and tries to lock themselves into a kind of storage area. Kane will have none of that and breaks the door down to keep beating up Big Show.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.

Kane steals one of his own and brings the referee along on the chase. According to Raven, there was supposed to be a chase scene around the arena but it never happened. Also they almost hit some cables that would have cut the power to the entire stadium, which would have been awesome and awful at the same time. They fight to the catering area and the Snapple is destroyed, much to Heyman’s chagrin.

Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.

Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.

And now for what is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever, from Backlash 2001.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.

Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.

Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.

Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.

2002 was mostly spent winning and losing the Hardcore Title (26 reigns overall) before it was off to TNA. Raven would chase the NWA World Title, including this match at Weekly PPV #42 on April 30, 2003.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven

From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.

Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.

Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.

Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.

Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.

Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.

He would take a break from the title chase to help out an ECW buddy at Weekly PPV #81 on February 18, 2004.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk

From February 18, 2004. Punk and Dinero are still the Gathering even though they’re not under Raven’s control anymore. Apparently this is Raven’s big return from an unknown amount of time gone. Dinero blasts Funk in the back with a chair before the bell as things starts in a brawl. Raven puts on a right side up Tarantula on Punk before Dinero comes in to save his heel partner. It’s SO strange to see Punk with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and yellow shorts.

Everyone heads outside where Funk is busted open. Punk takes Terry back inside to talk a lot of trash but Terry comes back with a Stunner of all things to send CM to the floor. Dinero comes in but gets decked as well. There’s the spinning toe hold and a small package for two on Julio as Punk makes the save. Dinero’s top rope backsplash hits Terry’s eternally damaged knees and Funk crawls over to the corner….but gets punched by CM Punk because the blood has blinded him.

The tag brings in Raven a few seconds later and Bird Boy cleans house. We get the rag (don’t ask) on Punk’s face and a bulldog/clothesline combo takes the Gathering down. Another Funk Stunner puts Dinero down and we get the TUMBLEWEED (abdominal stretch into a rolling rollup) for two. Raven comes back in and hits a quick DDT for the pin on Dinero.

Rating: D. This was about having Funk in there and that’s about it. The Stunners were out of nowhere but almost ignored by the announcers. I’ll give Terry this much: he isn’t just out there throwing punches and nothing more. It’s also strange to see Punk as a glorified indy guy instead of one of the biggest stars in the world.

Raven would be in the first Monster’s Ball match at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

Raven would appear at an ECW reunion show called Hardcore Homecoming in June 2005.

Sandman vs. Raven

Does this need an explanation? Raven has Meanie and the Musketeer with him for no apparent reason. Raven REALLY needs to go back to the t-shirt and the jeans. Raven makes fun of Sandman’s entrance not being that cool. We’re less than 48 hours from One Night Stand and one of the most awesome entrances of all time, so that’s just very amusing.

Raven is apparently the only wrestler ever to have an action figure in WWE, WCW, ECW and TNA. That’s…kind of cool I guess. It would be hilarious to see Raven just sitting around coming up with random as all goodness thoughts like that. I’ve never heard Raven talk this much and I like it. He picks on Hat Guy also, which has to be the highlight of his career.

Sandman has to beat Musketeer, who is dressed like a guy from 19th century France, to get to Raven. They have a sword vs. cane fight. They did this before I think and it was stupid then too. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey let’s get the match going. Raven hits like 6 shots to Sandman’s head with the cane before the ball shot puts him down.

We get a Johnny Polo chant. Geez has there ever been a guy that changed so much from one gimmick to another? And now we have Sandman in the Musketeer’s hat. Did that gimmick come to Paulie in a dream or something? There’s a ladder on the floor for no apparent reason. The fans that are standing up to see this get a nice SIT THE F DOWN chant. Sandman comes back and we’re in the ring with the ladder now.

We go back to the 80s with a handful of powder though as we get the DDT for two. That’s one issue I have here: 8 years ago this would have been over for about an hour but here it gets two. The other thing is it’s more or less impossible to have a guy actually be a heel which is ok but it can get a bit annoying though.

Sandman gets the White Russian Leg Sweep and then the Rolling Rock. Meanie comes in and completely misses the moonsault again. Not that Sandman moves, but Meanie just completely misses. They do another and he misses it again. The THIRD one finally hits it. And yep, it’s a complete mess now. Donny Allen, who apparently was the ECW jobber, comes out to beat up Sandman but Mikey runs him off. After offering a beer to Sandman, he turns on him for no apparent reason with the Whippersnapper for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was a wild brawl and that’s all it was supposed to be. Raven outsmarts Sandman again as Joey says and all is right with the world. What more can you really ask for? Both guys get pops though, which is never really that interesting but whatever. It was a fun match so that’s fine.

Back to the NWA World Title chase at Slammiversary 2005.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Sean Waltman

The idea here is you have to hang the belt above the ring, sort of like a reverse ladder match. However before you can do that, you have to qualify by getting a fall on someone else. Whoever is pinned/submits goes to the penalty box for two minutes. Waltman dives off the box onto Raven while Styles dives off a ladder onto Brown. Brown shrugs him off and goes inside where he Pounces Raven and pins him to qualify. Raven has to go to the box.

AJ hits a huge dive to take out Waltman and Abyss so it’s Brown/Waltman in the ring. AJ sets for the springboard forearm but Abyss breaks it up. A spinwheel kick puts Abyss down but Brown breaks up the Bronco Buster. Raven is let out ten seconds early for some reason. Alpha Bomb pins Waltman which doesn’t change anything for Brown but Waltman goes to the box. Raven has a table set up at ringside.

AJ dives off the cage to take out Abyss. The camera work is lacking a bit here as we keep missing stuff. Brown hits the Pounce on AJ but Raven pulls him to the floor for the pin to become eligible. Abyss loads up Shock Treatment on Brown but Raven beats them both up with a trashcan. Styles and Waltman are forming an alliance in the box. Waltman is now out and he grabs another trashcan to take Brown down with.

The clock ends for AJ as Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam to pin Brown. AJ and Waltman aren’t eligible yet. As I say that AJ hits the Clash on Raven but Abyss makes the save. Pele puts Abyss down and Waltman cracks the masked man with a chair. No one has used a ladder yet. Waltman puts Abyss on the table and AJ hits Spiral Tap, which is good for a pin for AJ.

Brown is released and here’s the first ladder. Raven throws Brown into the barricade and AJ is going up the ladder. He drops the title, but Waltman hands it to him. Naturally that’s a swerve and Waltman hits the X Factor off the ladder, good for a pin. There’s a table in the corner now too. Raven staples Waltman’s head and Abyss is free. Abyss and Raven both get staples between their legs but Waltman gets taken down as well.

Waltman gets up first and chokes Abyss. Does anyone know where the belt is? Waltman sets up a ladder as Styles is released. They both go up and fight on top of the ladder but Abyss shoves it over. A Pounce puts Abyss through the table but Raven DDTs Brown. He goes up the ladder and Abyss can’t stop him, giving Raven the win and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match but as always with these matches, they’re wild brawls that no one can keep up with. Well ok maybe that’s a stretch but they’re still chaotic. It’s probably a little too complicated but this is TNA’s signature mess and that’s ok for the most part. Raven winning should have won the title a year or so earlier but still, this worked well and he would have a good reign.

The reign wouldn’t last long and Raven would move into a long feud with Larry Zbyszko. Here’s one of Larry’s enforcers at Sacrifice 2006.

Raven vs. A-1

Larry sits in a chair in the ring before the match starts. Larry gets in his face so A-1 hits Raven with said chair to get an early advantage. A-1 rams him into the corner a bunch of times as Larry sits in on commentary. They head to the floor and A-1 rams him into the post a few times to stay on the back. Raven’s back goes into the barricade as the beating on that thing continues.

Back into the ring and A-1 fires off shoulders in the corner. A corner splash/forearm puts Raven down again as we’re still waiting on Bird Boy’s first offense. A-1 kicks him down but Raven FINALLY gets in some right hands in the corner. A clothesline out of the corner buts A-1 down and he fires off some kicks. An Edge-O-Matic puts Raven down but Larry’s distraction lets A-1 get in a cheap shot. A charge misses and the Raven Effect gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match, but that could be said about almost any match in this Raven vs. Larry feud. It just kept going on and on with nothing ever really being accomplished. We got matches like Raven vs. Kanyon out of it which didn’t make anyone interested in the match or anything like that, but who cares about stuff like that?

Raven would help Abyss in his war with Rellik (which is Killer spelled backwards) and Black Reign (which is stupid). From Turning Point 2007.

Abyss/??? vs. Black Reign/Rellik

Oh so apparently the partner was known and it’s Raven. This is the Match of Ten Thousand Tacks. There are tacks everywhere and there’s a bag of them above the ring on a pole. Wave to Russo everyone! Tenay continues to treat the fans like idiots by reminding them that Rellik is Killer spelled backwards, thereby taking away the monster aspect and making him sound like a 13 year old trying to be clever on AIM.

Everyone but Raven heads to the floor so Raven jumps over the top to take everyone out at once. Abyss and Reign go up into the crowd as Raven uses his Russian legsweep to send Rellik into the barricade twice. Back at ringside, Abyss sets up a table with tacks on top of it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to talk about in this match as it’s the same match Abyss did every week in this period.

Abyss gets his hand on whatever weapon Reign usually uses which has a sharp blade on it. That busts Reign open and everyone is back inside now. Abyss is busted via something. It was a chair shot. Good enough. Rellik slides in a bed of tacks and drives a handful of them into Raven’s mouth. Things slow way down as they’re filling in time for the finish now. Rellik goes for the bag of tacks above the ring but gets powerbombed off by Raven.

Raven Effect gets two on Reign. Now Bird Man is bleeding from the mouth. Oh man Abyss is COVERED in blood. We’re just waiting on the big spot to end this. Reign hits everyone with a kendo stick but as he’s choking Raven he gets flipped off the corner and into a table covered in tacks. Raven misses an elbow through a table to Rellik who gets the bag of tacks off the pole. Abyss goes for a chokeslam to Rellik but gets something spit into his eyes. There’s a Black Hole Slam into them instead and we’re done.

Rating: C+. It’s a big brawl with lots of blood which is what most of the rating is for. The problem with Abyss is he always had to top what he did before, which became a problem as he had too much stuff to do. Not a bad hardcore match but the tacks spot had been done so many times before that it’s hard to get fired up for them again.

Raven would be gone for most of 2008 before returning as his hardcore stuff. Here’s a match from Slammiversary 2009.

Raven/Daffney vs. Abyss/Taylor Wilde

I’m still not sure if Taylor is hot or not. Ok she looks good here so we’ll go with yes. The genders pair off of course but Taylor is launched into both of them before Daffney is splashed by Abyss. Taylor hits an FU on Daffney but Stevie trips her up to shift the momentum. Daffney is thrown over the top down onto the guys and Taylor hits a dive onto them also.

The guys go into the crowd and Daffney follows. Here come the weapons as one goes upside the head of Daffney. They fight up towards the stage and Raven chokes him with a guardrail. The girls have kind of been forgotten about at this point. There’s a table with a red cloth over it. Oh there they are and Daffney is down. Not that we get to see it or anything but at least they’re not dead.

Oddly enough Daffney goes through the aforementioned table off a splash by Taylor off a speaker. Into the ring now go the men and Abyss has a bag of something. Raven gets a chair shot in to bust Abyss open (film at 11). Drop toehold puts Abyss into the chair again and the cut opens up even more. Here are some kendo stick shots but Taylor pops up with a garbage can lid to Raven to break it up.

Raven gets some trashcan shots in but they’re no sold by Abyss and here comes the monster, cracking him with the stick. Now we’re talking about West’s fantasy team for some reason. Chokeslam takes out Raven but Stevie has the referee to prevent the cover from being counted. Raven’s weapon shots are rather weak. Taylor is launched onto Raven but Stevie interferes again. There are the tacks but Daffney winds up going into them in a pretty awesome spot. Stevie breaks it up AGAIN but walks into Abyss. Even Flow (Raven Effect) gets two and there’s the Black Hole Slam to the tacks to end this.

Rating: B-. Eh pretty much just a hardcore match but at the same time that’s all it needed to be here I think. Abyss’ willingness to more or less have his body destroyed can help him a lot and that’s what he did here. The girls didn’t do much here at all but at least Taylor looked good in blue so it’s not like they were a problem. Props to Daffney for the tacks bump too so overall, not bad here.

Another year, another ECW reunion. From Hardcore Justice 2010.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

For no apparent reason, Foley is the referee. Beaulah is here and is still hot. The fans chant Uncle Scotty to complete this joke. They do the drop toehold spot and Dreamer gets beaten up in front of his kids. Dreamer might be the first guy to bleed tonight. It’s your usual stuff here with the beatdown that isn’t that great but the history makes it watchable. Raven is busted.

The signs are brought in as is the ladder. They do some decent stuff with that for two for Raven. Dreamer Driver gets no cover. We finally get to the barbed wire which is wrapped around Raven’s face. He taps but the BWO runs in to make sure it doesn’t count. This needs a Sandman run-in. Down goes Foley for no apparent reason. Raven Effect gets two. Or is it the Even Flow? Whatever.

Foley and Socko, which they can’t say, takes down Raven and that guy from earlier that we couldn’t recognize in the Blue Meanie skit runs down with a top rope leg drop for Dreamer. Allegedly his name is Lupus? Mandible Claw with wire to Raven of course doesn’t put him down and he cuffs Dreamer.

Beaulah comes in to stop the Rock/Foley ending in the Last Man Standing match which doesn’t work. Dreamer manages to DDT Raven while cuffed behind his back for two. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair and a DDT on it ends this. Yes, Dreamer jobbed to Raven in the final encounter. I am about to give up.

Rating: D. This started out as an ok brawl but just got insane. To be fair it was a pretty brutal match but the ending is just stupid. The problem is that this feud was perfectly finished in ECW and there was no need for this. Dreamer winning was the right way to go here so of course they didn’t do that. Not a horrible match, but it’s just showing how bad this idea was overall as this feud is one that didn’t need to continue.

We’ll wrap it up with an indy show for the Insane Clown Posse at Bloodymania V.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.

Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.

Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.

Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.

Raven is a guy who was almost all psychology but his in ring work could back him up most of the time. The problem though was once he left ECW, almost everything felt like an attempt to recreate the most successful character in his career. That’s nothing new in wrestling, but it rarely works. Still though, he’s incredibly entertaining when he’s on his game and that was very often.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 30: Triple H

Time to play the Game. It’s HHH.

No timeline of course.

We’ll start with HHH’s first Wrestlemania main event at Wrestlemania XVI.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Now we’ll jump way ahead to Wrestlemania XXVIII for the End of an Era.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Another jump forward, as HHH has reformed Evolution to help him fight the Shield.

Evolution vs. Shield

No special rules here. It’s a big brawl to start even though I didn’t hear a bell. Shield quickly clears the ring and now we get the bell. Rollins hammers away on HHH to start and a running dropkick drops the game. A clothesline sends him to the floor and Rollins hits a big dive to take him out. Back in and HHH hits the running knee to the face, allowing for the tag to Batista. The booing is immediate as he drives a bunch of shoulders into Seth’s ribs.

Orton comes in and stomps away in the corner. A pose is enough work for Orton though and it’s back to HHH for a facebuster and two. Batista takes him to the apron and drives an elbow into the chest followed by a hard kick to the side of the head. Back to Orton for a chinlock but Rollins drives him into the corner to escape. Batista and HHH break up a hot tag attempt but Rollins spins to his feet and kicks Orton in the head.

Now the hot tag brings in Ambrose to clean house by stomping on Orton in the corner. Batista gets knocked off the apron and Dean puts Orton in a Figure Four. HHH makes the save but draws in Roman Reigns to chase him off. The spear hits steps though and it’s Ambrose getting triple teamed in the corner. Ambrose is sent to the outside as the BOO TISTA chants start up. A powerslam from Orton gets two and we hit the chinlock. The dropkick gets another two count and it’s back to HHH for the spinebuster. Another tag starts up the BOOing and we hit a rear naked choke of all things.

Dean finally jawbreaks his way to freedom but turns around for a bit boot to the jaw. A DDT plants HHH and the hot tag brings in Reigns to destroy everything in sight. Clotheslines take out every member of Evolution but Rollins’ springboard knee has to break up a Batista Bomb attempt. The Superman Punch and Triple Bomb plant Batista but Orton and HHH make the save. Rollins misses a suicide dive and HHH hits the Pedigree on Reigns, but Batista can only get two.

There’s an RKO to Reigns but it’s Rollins with another save. Rollins and Orton fight on the floor with Seth getting the better of it. We lose a cameraman as HHH helps Orton. They double team him for a few seconds but Ambrose runs across both announce tables to take both of them out. Ambrose, Rollins, Orton and HHH brawl into the crowd as Batista and Reigns are still down.

We miss something loud but see Orton shove Ambrose down some steps. The camera stays on the outside as Rollins is nowhere in sight. Orton and HHH double team Dean but Rollins dives OUT OF THE BALCONY to take all three down. Back in the ring and Batista counters the spear with a spinebuster. The Bomb is countered and there’s another Superman Punch followed by the spear for the clean pin at 19:50.

Rating: A. It’s not quite Shield vs. Wyatts but man alive this was fun. I have absolutely zero problem with Evolution reforming to put people over and that’s what they did here. Shield looked like they were on totally equal footing with three former World Champions and one of the most successful units of all time. This was a great match and told multiple awesome stories. Great stuff.

Back in time a bit now with HHH facing Jeff Hardy for HHH’s Smackdown World Title at No Mercy 2008.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Jeff shakes his hand and is immediately sent into the buckle and rolled up for two. They fight over wrist control and Jeff grabs a headlock. It’s just a feeling out process for the first 90 seconds or so. They keep fighting for control and Jeff gets his headlock on the mat. Back up and HHH hits an elbow but walks into a headscissors to send him to the floor. Jeff hits a running clothesline off the apron to take HHH down.

Back inside and back to the headlock. HHH pops up and tries a quick Pedigree but gets backdropped to the floor. Jeff tries a flip dive over the top but HHH steps to the side to make Jeff crash onto the floor with a great thud. That gets two for HHH inside, as does a wicked backbreaker. HHH punches him a bit more and it’s abdominal stretch time. HHH doesn’t have a ton of torque on it so he grabs the rope, forcing a break.

Off to a sleeper instead but Jeff escapes pretty quickly and hits his wrap around clothesline. Legdrop between the legs gets two. Hardy throws Trips into the corner and out to the floor. Now the flip dive works and both guys are down on the floor. Back inside Hardy gets two off a middle rope clothesline. This is starting to get good. Twist of Fate is countered and HHH takes him down with a clothesline of his own for two.

They slug it out and Hardy goes up. I think Jeff was trying a dropkick and I think HHH tried to counter into a spinebuster but it completely missed. Miscommunication, not a botch. Spinebuster with no miscommunication puts Hardy down and it’s Pedigree time. Hardy slingshots him into the post and the Whisper in the Wind gets a VERY close two. Slingshot dropkick to the back sets up the Swanton but HHH moves. Pedigree is countered again into a Twist of Fate and Jeff goes up. Swanton hits perfectly but Hardy lays on top of him, allowing HHH to cradle him for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. INCREDIBLE ending sequence which had me into it both back in 2008 and now as well. Hardy would keep getting closer and closer to the title until he FINALLY won it (from Edge) in December. HHH and Hardy had some mad chemistry together and this is probably their best example of it. Great match and once it gets going, it never stopped being awesome.

One of HHH’s best matches ever was the street fight with Cactus Jack. Here’s the rematch from No Way Out 2000.

WWF Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

In case you’re a little slow, remember that this is Hell in a Cell. Seriously, why does Fink have to announce that? Here’s a hint: BIG FREAKING CAGE! The cage coming down over them is just epic. Oh there’s a subplot here: Cactus swore he would jump off the top of the cage but the Cell is HEAVILY locked. Here we go. Jack starts off in control here and hits a running jumping forearm. Yeah I was shocked too.

It should be noted that the crowd is kind of into this but not really at all. In his book, Foley mentions this and thought it was a sign that no one cared about him possibly being gone forever. Foley’s shirt is really torn already. On the floor, HHH gets the steps ready for the running step spot. However, he doesn’t hit it. HE FREAKING THROWS THEM AT FOLEY! That was just AWESOME looking.

The fans think Stephanie is a sl**, but still are relatively quiet. Chair time. In a funny moment, HHH takes a shot to the balls with a chair and Lawler says STEPHANIE! Double Arm DDT on a chair for a long two and….NO REACTION. Spinebuster on the chair and HHH gets two.

Foley said he was panicking here as he thought they were just failing in the eyes of the fans. They’re not dead silent but one of Jack’s finishers on a chair got a whimper. On the floor Foley gets a nice slingshot to send HHH into the cage. And now it’s Foley cranking it up. It’s been a very back and forth match and HHH is busted.

Foley does the chair dive off the middle rope to the floor and the fans are waking up. Seriously we’re about ten minutes in and they’re just NOW waking up. Foley picks up the steps and throws them at HHH (nice bit of continuity there) and HHH ducks (nice psychology there). He misses though and it hits the cage, breaking it. The roof is officially blown off. In his book, Foley said it hit him all at once: the fans were smart.

They knew the match wasn’t ending in the cage. They knew Foley and HHH were going to fight all over ringside including likely going to the top of the Cell. That makes a ton of sense. If you know the match isn’t going to end in the ring, why really care that much? In short, they didn’t. They were just waiting for Foley to find a way out of the cage and he just did.

We hit the floor and Cactus hits a piledriver on the table. A huge Foley chant starts up and Cactus starts climbing with HHH still on the table. Fans are WAY into it now. Stephanie makes the save just before Foley finds the 2×4 in barbed wire. Oh yes. A quick shot to the head and Foley is dominating. And HHH is climbing the cage out of fear of Foley. The crowd is losing it. Oh and the 2×4 is up there too.

Foley has his hands on top but HHH slams Foley’s head into the 2×4, and we get AIR FOLEY as he falls through the, say it with me, SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! He gets up before HHH can get down the cage. HHH is STUNNED. Foley tries to throw a chair up top but he can’t get it up. That’s an odd segment but for some reason it’s interesting. He gets to the top but walks into a barbed wire shot. Everyone is just waiting for the big spot here. Everything up there is terrifying as you never know what’s going to happen.

The corner of the cage breaks and HHH nearly falls through. We get a suplex on the top of the cage. Dang. Foley gets the 2×4 again, and in the words of Bubba Dudley from Rise and Fall of ECW, “Why don’t we just light it on fire?” The fans have NO idea what to think of this but they love it. He lays it on the Cell and gives a sign for a piledriver. It’s reversed and Foley goes through the Cell and THROUGH THE RING.

Remember, that’s from a good 12-15 feet up. HHH gets down and CACTUS GETS UP. HHH loses his mind over that and beats him down again. Pedigree hits and that’s finally it. DANG. Back in the day, especially after Show won, there was NO predicting who would win this. Epic match. Foley gets the big sendoff, and while he would get a reward of being in the main event of Mania, not even he knew that at the time. If I remember right he found out a week before the PPV, so it was a legit shock.

Rating: A+. It never ceases to amaze me how they find new ways to use the Cell. First it was Taker stalking Shawn, then it was a total eruption, and now a hybrid where Foley is this unstoppable monster in there with HHH afraid to fight but it’s a massacre anyway. Either way, this was a great match with Foley going out in a classic, jobbing like he did better than anyone else. Excellent match with a great ending and some GREAT spots. The pops were off the charts and the whole thing is just great.

After tearing his quad, HHH would return in early 2002 and main event Wrestlemania XVIII for the Undisputed Title.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

HHH won the Rumble to get this shot. Drowning Pool does HHH’s entrance and it SUCKS. That’s meant to be an old school rock song, not a bad metal version. The big story here is that HHH got tired of his wife Stephanie being all annoying and saying she could do whatever she wanted because anyone that opposed her would have to deal with HHH so he yelled at her, sending her over to Jericho. If you actually believe Jericho has anything resembling a chance here, I feel sorry for you. He does get a face pop though. Oh and HHH’s repaired quad is “hanging by a thread”.

Stephanie starts screeching as soon as the bell rings. Jericho takes him to the corner to start and bends the leg around the rope to a bit of an effect. HHH fires back with some right hands and the fans don’t seem to care. A backdrop puts Jericho down as does a clothesline. HHH comes back with the jumping knee to the face but hurts the bad leg in the process.

Jericho hits a backdrop to send HHH to the outside as they’re getting close to plodding territory. The champion spends too much time posing and is sent into the barricade for his troubles. A suplex on the floor lays out Jericho but HHH takes too much time loading up the announce table, allowing the champion to kick the bad leg out. Back inside now and HHH gets all CEREBRAL BABY and goes after Jericho’s leg.

After a good look at Stephanie’s rocking cleavage, there’s a figure four by HHH. Stephanie digs her nails into HHH’s eyes to break it up though, causing HHH to go after her. Jericho charges into Stephanie by mistake and into the ring she goes. HHH loads up the Pedigree on his wife but Jericho hits a missile dropkick to break it up. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and Stephanie kicks him in the leg for good measure.

Back in again and Jericho cranks on the leg. The match isn’t bad so far but it’s doing nothing to draw my interest. The leg is wrapped around the post again and there’s the Figure Four around the post (on the correct leg and everything!) for good measure. Back in and HHH is taken down to the mat to stop a comeback bid before Jericho puts on an Indian Deathlock. HHH finally kicks Jericho away, sending him shoulder first into the post.

There’s a neckbreaker to Chris but he’s up first anyway. A clothesline gets two for HHH as Stephanie cheers for Jericho. The facebuster puts HHH down but he hurts his own leg again. The spinebuster gets two for HHH but Jericho is still up first. HHH is sent over the corner and out to the floor where Jericho loads up the announce table again. Jericho tries to put him in the Walls on the announce table ala the night HHH tore his quad but HHH fights out. Instead he loads up a Pedigree but Jericho backdrops him through the other table.

Back in and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two and there are the Walls for good measure. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes so HHH crawls again to make them. Stephanie offers a distraction so Jericho can bring in a chair but HHH counters with a DDT onto said chair. The crowd is DEAD for this. Stephanie comes in for no apparent reason and we finally get to see HHH Pedigree her. A chair shot to the head puts HHH down for two so Jericho loads up a Pedigree of his own. That gets countered into a slingshot and the real Pedigree gives HHH the title back.

Rating: C+. The match itself was ok but the crowd really drags it down. The problem with this match is that it went on after EVERYTHING else tonight and everyone is so freaking tired that no one cared. It didn’t help that HHH might have been a more obvious winner than Austin four years ago so we had to sit through 19 minutes until we got to the clear finish. The match itself was nothing special either. It was Jericho kicking him in the leg for the whole match before HHH escaped the Walls and hitting the Pedigree to win it. The match isn’t bad, but it’s completely lacking anything memorable.

Here’s the aforementioned street fight from Royal Rumble 2000.

WWF World Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

Street fight. It should also be noted that Foley lost about 30 pounds inside of a month and a half and is by far the slimmest you’ll ever see him look here. HHH does the long slow walk to the ring which makes things feel even more epic. Stephanie heads to the back which is probably a good thing. Dang I miss that big title. It’s SO much better looking than the stupid spinner version. Even now when it doesn’t spin it doesn’t look like something special but rather something like a toy. The belt on HHH looks classy.

Cactus looks like and animal and HHH looks terrified. Jack wins a quick slugout and pounds HHH down into the corner. We head to the floor for a swinging neckbreaker on HHH and a legdrop onto the apron knocks the Game back to the floor. HHH is rammed into various metal objects but comes back with a bell shot to take over. NOW we get to the fun part as the first chair is brought in.

Back in and Jack charges right into a chair shot like an idiot. Granted for him, that’s playing the character right. HHH goes to unhook the buckle instead of covering for some reason and Jack pops up to clothesline the champ down. There’s a legdrop onto a chair onto HHH’s head for two and we head outside again. HHH gets backdropped into the crowd and the beating begins again. JR: “They’re out in the sea of humanity.” Jerry: “Humanity? JR we’re in New York.”

HHH gets rammed into something made of metal that we can’t see and they head into the aisle. Cactus sets up a wooden pallet and suplexes HHH onto it before screaming in his face. This isn’t falls count anywhere mind you. There’s a trashcan to the head and HHH gets rammed into the steel doors. The fans chant for Foley as he gets suplexed onto the trashcan. The crowd is just RUTHLESS against HHH here as they head back to the ring. The aisle is really short so it’s not a long walk.

Jack rams a knee into HHH’s head to drive it into the steps and it’s back inside now. This is almost all Jack so far. There’s the 2×4 in barbed wire but HHH hits him low to get the board away. Some shots to Cactus’ ribs and back have him in trouble and HHH looks at the board as if to say “did I just do that?” Cactus blocks a shot to the head and hits HHH in the balls with the board. The double arm DDT puts HHH down as the referee takes the board out of the ring, drawing the loudest booing of the ngiht.

Cactus wants the board back and beats up the Spanish announce team who the board was left with. He gets a board (clearly not the same one but that’s likely for safety reasons) and after the referee is crushed, HHH gets hit in the forehead with the wire. The board is driven into HHH’s forehead and he’s busted something fierce now. The referee is back up now and we get the most famous spot of the match with Jack ripping the wire across HHH’s cut to make him scream.

Cactus tries to piledrive HHH through the announce table (same thing he won the 97 match with) but HHH counters with a backdrop. JR: “The champion is bleeding like a horse.” When does a horse bleed? HHH is bleeding from his leg which is a rare sight to see. The place LOUDLY cheers for Foley and we head back inside. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot into the post and a bulldog on the wire gets two.

HHH has a spot called to him about the steps before the Cactus Clothesline takes them both to the floor. Cactus charges but gets hiptossed into the steps, banging his knee in the process. You know a Flair disciple like HHH knows how to work on a knee. Back inside and HHH clips him down before picking up the barbed wire for another shot to the knee. HHH pulls out some handcuffs in a flashback to last year.

Cactus fights back and hits HHH in the head with the cuffs in a smart move. The cuffs are locked up a few seconds later though and HHH starts pounding away. The steps are brought in but Foley comes out of nowhere with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steel. A low blow keeps HHH down and Cactus bites away. HHH gets back up and grabs a chair which he literally BREAKS over the back of Cactus. They head outside again and Cactus takes some shots to the head from the chair.

Cactus says hit me again but before HHH can crush the skull, Rock pops out of nowhere and blasts HHH in the head with a chair of his own. A cop comes in and unlocks the cuffs, freeing Cactus. HHH starts backpedaling fast but gets caught on the Spanish Announce Table. The piledriver hits this time but the table DOESN’T BREAK.

We haven’t gotten violent enough yet, so here’s a bag of thumbtacks. Stephanie comes out (complete with snakeskin choker in a nod to Cactus) and HHH comes back with a backdrop onto the tacks. There’s the Pedigree but Cactus kicks out at two to blow the roof off the place. It doesn’t last long though as a Pedigree ONTO THE TACKS finally ends Cactus.

Rating: A+. FREAKING OW MAN! If there’s a match that made a guy into a legitimate force better than this one made HHH, I’d love to see it. This was an absolute war with both guys destroying each other for about 27 minutes. The place never gave up on Foley and it’s easily one of his best matches ever. This is one of the best brawls ever and yet again it’s well worth checking out.

HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Cactus pulls him back into the arena. There’s a barbed wire shot to the head and the place cheers like crazy for Mick some more.

Back to 2008 for a showdown at Night of Champions.

WWE Championship: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena gets mostly a face pop. Cole says if you aren’t excited about this then you should go home. Wouldn’t people hearing his voice be at home for the most of the time? Is he saying go back to live with your parents because it’ll make the world better? I hate when these shows get all preachy. We get big match intros and Cena is booed LOUDLY. Yeah HHH is the face here. Lillian sounds like she’s sneezing when she says H.

They even check the boots and tights. This really is a big match so they’re treating it like one. They feel each other out a lot to start and HHH hits a hip toss and throws in a crotch chop because DX is AWESOME right? They both show each other up and then are like screw this and start throwing bombs. Cena hits move #4 and gets two. He goes for the flying tackles and HHH uses that incredible mind and ducks to send Cena flying. I love basic counters like that.

The crowd seems a bit confused but they’re certainly interested in this. Cena takes FOREVER to set up You Can’t See Me and gets kicked in the chest for his efforts or lack thereof in this case. The standing around here is getting pretty stupid as they’re just waiting on moves to be done to them. The top rope Fameasser is more or less just a boot to the back of the head since HHH messed it up pretty badly.

STFU doesn’t hook but you know it’s coming. He takes too long AGAIN on You Can’t See Me and gets kneed in the face for his troubles. Pedigree doesn’t work and HHH is thrown to the floor where he hurts his knee. At least it’s not his quad. Cena acts a little heelish and goes for the knee. It’s smart strategy but because of the circumstances it’s making him the heel in this match. That my friends, is basic heel/face psychology.

He wraps HHH’s leg around the post as this is pretty solid stuff. They fight over the STFU which looks sloppy but cool at the same time. Pedigree hits out of nowhere but his knee is hurt so it’s only two. BIG pop for the kickout. FU hits for two also. HHH is selling the heck out of that knee. They slug it out with nothing but right hands and Cole has completely stopped talking for some reason. Ah there he is.

Cena hits the Protoplex and finally hits You Can’t See Me (yes I know that isn’t the proper name). It gets two of course, probably because it’s a fist drop. STFU is locked WAY in as I’m pretty sure the knee isn’t supposed to go like that. HHH counters into a Crossface that looks like crap. In a cool counter, Cena stands up into the FU but it doesn’t hit. A Pedigree ends it.

Rating: B+. Solid match here but by no means as great a match as they would want us to believe. It felt like two guys trying to have a great match rather than a great match. That’s not the best wording but that’s how it came off. HHH should have won to even up the rivalry but they’re REALLY overhyping this. It’s good but it’s not that good.

One of HHH’s biggest feuds was with Batista. Here’s their final showdown from Vengeance 2005.

Raw World Title (World): Batista vs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so freaking paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH CRUD, OW and DANG I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his hips but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. Dang HHH got thrown over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the tar out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

Here’s possibly the best triple threat match ever, from the main event of Wrestlemania XX.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH (and his big white boots) bail to the floor as the other two chop it out. They head to the mat with Benoit bridging up into a backslide attempt but Shawn blocks. The Crossface doesn’t work but Benoit gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Game comes back in to take over and he slugs both guys down. Shawn is thrown over the top rope for some skinning of the cat but comes back in to pound away at the champion in the corner.

The high knee takes Shawn down for two and a less high knee puts Benoit on the floor. Benoit has his back rammed into the barricade but Shawn baseball slides both of them onto the concrete. That is followed up by a big moonsault to the floor to take out all three guys and wow the crowd a bit. Shawn and HHH go back inside but Benoit has to come in with a clothesline to break up a Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post at the hands of the Canadian but HHH ties Benoit up in the Tree of Woe.

Michaels whips HHH into Benoit and rolls up the champion for two before nipping up, only to be clotheslined out to the floor by Benoit. Chris rolls some Germans on the champion but Shawn comes back to break up the Swan Dive. HHH DDTs Shawn down and superplexes Benoit for a pair of two’s. Benoit gets a weak Crossface on HHH but Michaels makes the save. Now Shawn tries to roll Germans on Benoit but you can’t do that to a Canadian (without being Kurt Angle of course), and Benoit reverses into Germans of his own on Shawn.

The Swan Dive hits Shawn for two as HHH makes another save. HHH low bridges Benoit to the floor and it’s time for DX to fight again. Shawn drops the top rope elbow on HHH and there’s Sweet Chin Music for good measure but it only gets two. Benoit makes the save and it’s time to chop a Canadian. Michaels has to fight off the Sharpshooter but can’t avoid a catapult into the post. There’s the Crossface on Shawn but HHH grabs Shawn’s hand to prevent tapping. That catapult into the post busted Shawn open too.

Out to the floor they go with HHH whipping Benoit into the steps to put him down. HHH loads up the announce table but Benoit fights him onto said table. Benoit fights out of a Pedigree attempt but here’s Shawn on the table as well. A double suplex/slam sends Benoit flying through a table and it’s down to one on one for all intents and purposes. HHH pounds away on Shawn in the corner but gets backdropped out to the floor, taking out the referee in the process. Shawn sends him into the post to bust the champion open too.

Back in and HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere but he’s too exhausted to cover. Eventually he does but Benoit pops in to break it up at the last second. Shawn falls out to the floor as Benoit chops the champion. The Pedigree is countered into the Sharpshooter but Shawn comes back in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up, but only for two. Michaels tunes up the band again but misses the superkick and gets backdropped to the floor. Benoit hooks the Crossface on HHH and holds onto it even as Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring until HHH taps out, giving Benoit the world title.

Rating: A+. I can’t stand triple threat matches but this is a masterpiece. They were so crisp with everything and while Shawn didn’t need to be there at all, it was still an excellent match. Benoit winning was the absolutely right decision (and would have been the year before as well) but it was the feel good moment they needed.

Speaking of Benoit, here he is in a pretty famout tag match on Raw, from May 21, 2001.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

HHH and Shawn would hook up again as D-Generation X to feud with Legacy. Here they are closing the show at Hell in a Cell 2009.

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Seriously, THIS goes on last? The fight starts on the floor and it’s DX beating on Rhodes. Oh the match hasn’t started yet. Oh joy indeed. Keep in mind: DX is CONTROVERSIAL. Keep that in mind. HHH is in the crowd. We haven’t been in the Cell yet. Legacy and HHH are up by the freaking entrance and Shawn is down at ringside. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THE FREAKING CAGE???

HEY Ted went into the cage. And now he’s back out and I didn’t even get to finish typing that sentence. Cody is mostly in it now. HHH is down on the ramp by the way. Shawn’s foot is in. Ok, so now everyone but HHH is in the cage now. So in other words, the match hasn’t actually started yet still because it’s supposed to be the two teams IN a HIAC match. This is a handicap in a Cell even though the bell rings. My head hurts.

Aww Shawn looks like a sad puppy. HHH is laying on the ramp with his arms at his sides, likely saying he can be a better messiah than anyone else can. So in case the first 40 times didn’t make it clear, IT’S TWO ON ONE! Naturally Legacy isn’t capable of the idea of you hold I’ll hit. Oh the Cell makes it 3-1 apparently. Keep that in mind: Shawn is against INSANE odds.

Shawn finds a chair and pelts it at Cody. That looked painful. HHH is back up again. Shawn, on a bad knee, does the RVD Spider Man thing. Sure why not. HHH still can’t get in. Shawn kicks DiBiase and I hate this match quite a bit. This would be THE GREATEST WIN OF SHAWN’S CAREER. Cole do you even think before you talk? Shawn takes the crucified position for awhile now. HHH tries using a chair to get in. WHY NOT JUST USE FREAKING BOLT CUTTERS!

He’s stood there like ten minutes just trying to get in while Ted yells at him. The idiocy here astounds me. Hey, let’s just stand here talking while the most resilient wrestler ever is down. That won’t be a bad idea at all will it? HHH finally grows a brain and leaves. Legacy, DO SOMETHING. Seriously, they hit him like twice and then stand around more.

This is another match like Mania 25’s main event where they tried to do something cool and it failed miserably. The do kind of a Van Terminator. How interesting. They use the double submission that they won with at Breaking Point which of course they let go of after about 4 seconds. Oh and look: HHH is back WITH BOLT CUTTERS!

He gets in and you know the rest. Only took 20 minutes to actually start the match. Apparently he had to go to an equipment truck to get them because you know, there weren’t any around in case they needed to get into the Cell or anything like that right? The Cell isn’t locked anyway so the match isn’t as advertised anyway. OK!

Now it’s locked with all four in, so the advertised main event begins with five and a half minutes to go in the show. Halloween Havoc 98 anyone? In a stupid spot, they wrap the chair around Ted’s NECK and Shawn drops a top rope elbow on it. Yep he should be dead. Sledgehammer time. Ted is outside now as I guess they threw him out. He’s back up 8 seconds after something that in storyline terms should have broken his neck. They easily pin Cody. Big old celebration ends the show.

Rating: C-. Ok, here the cage actually came into play so BIG points for that. Even still though, a Cell match should be at least a B-/B simply due to it being in the Cell and it being so RARE. More on that later. This was an actual 2-2 match in the Cell for about 2 minutes. They tries here so I can give them that, but still this was just not that good and really underwhelming for a Cell match.

Here’s one of my all time favorites, from Wrestlemania XVII.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Taker gets to do his long bike ride down the aisle, meaning he can speed it way up, which looks pretty awesome. I use that word a lot in this but it’s true. The fight starts on the floor with HHH losing a slugout. They break ANOTHER Spanish announce table with Taker still pounding away. We get in the ring for the opening bell where HHH hitting the jumping knee to the face. Taker has no interest in selling that though and pounds on HHH in the corner even more.

A big backdrop puts HHH down as do some clotheslines in the corner. Taker powerslams the Game down and there’s the jumping clothesline to do it again. HHH breaks up Old School though and hits a neckbreaker for two. A few elbows to Taker’s neck have him in even more trouble and there’s a neckbreaker for two. See what psychology is like? It’s not that hard. Taker comes back with rapid fire punches but gets caught in a facebuster.

HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but the referee takes it away from him. Instead HHH loads up a Pedigree but gets catapulted into the referee, crushing him in the process. There’s a chokeslam to HHH but the referee is slow to count, meaning it only gets two. Taker beats up the referee to knock him out cold before throwing HHH out to the floor. HHH is backdropped into the crowd and the brawl is on. Taker punches him up to the tech area which is a very rare sight.

HHH tries to climb away to escape, but he climbs up higher and higher. Taker catches him anyway and pounds him in the head before sending him up to the next level. HHH finds a chair and blasts him ten straight times about the head and body. He loads up another shot to the head but Taker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams HHH off the tower onto something we can’t see. It winds up being a crash pad but the throw looked GREAT. Taker wants more and drops an elbow off the tower down onto HHH for good measure.

Before HHH can be taken to the back by EMTs, Taker beats him up even more and even knocks down the medics. We head back to the ring where the referee hasn’t moved for six minutes and hasn’t been looked at whatsoever. Back to the ring with HHH basically dead. Taker picks up the sledgehammer but HHH kicks him low to save his life. A big boot to the face of HHH takes him down though and it’s time for a slugout.

HHH loads up a Tombstone but since he’s not Kane (or Sid apparently, Taker easily counters into one of his own. There’s STILL no referee though as he’s been out cold for ten minutes (from a kick in the back and an elbow drop mind you). Taker finally shakes him back to life before loading up the Last Ride. HHH grabs the sledgehammer though and knocks Undertaker silly with it…..for two. I lost my mind on that kickout back in the day.

Taker is busted open and HHH is having a fit. The Game pounds away at the cut in the corner but makes the fatal mistake of going to the middle rope for more leverage, allowing Taker to grab the Last Ride to plant HHH and make himself 9-0 at Wrestlemania. Taker lays on the ropes after the match and the shot of him busted open but smiling is sweet.

Rating: A. This is one of the great matches that no one talks about for various reasons ranging from their rematches to the match that immediately followed it. It’s absolutely great though with both guys beating the tar out of each other and some excellent drama on the near falls. This was the match that made sure you knew Taker was still a player while keeping HHH strong at the same time. Great fight.

It’s been too long without a Rock match, so here’s an Iron Man match from Judgment Day 2000.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Iron Man match and if there’s a tie Rock keeps the title. HHH comes out with all three McMahons. He actually sends the McMahons to the back to fight on his own. Wow indeed. Rock gets a great reaction. Remember this is an hour long so expect a lot of writing for this one. Here we go. There’s a clock in the upper left hand corner of the screen so we have an idea of what’s coming here. And never mind as it’s gone.

Staredown and trash talking to start us off here. Huge pop for the lock up. No one can get an advantage but they have a ton of time in this. Rock is swearing a lot in this. We’re about two minutes in and there hasn’t been any real offense by either guy yet. Rock grabs a headlock to get a tiny advantage early on. Top wristlock battle goes to the Rock and it’s back to the headlock.

Rock gets a trio of twos on rollups so HHH hits the floor to clear his head. They talk about playing the clock which is very true indeed. The smart thing to do would be to bring handcuffs and chain a guy up outside and get like 100 ten counts. Back in and we hit the headlock again. Big punch sends HHH back to the floor again. Back in and back to the headlock, which makes sense here.

HHH tries a leap frog so Rock hits him in the face. He avoids the Rock Bottom and takes Rock down via a clothesline. HHH works on the arm as we haven’t had the clock since the very beginning so it’s kind of hard to say how much time last gone by. Rock starts fighting back but walks into a DDT on the arm to be put back in trouble. Ah there’s the clock and we have just over 50 minutes to go.

More right hands by Rock and HHH hits the ropes. ROCK BOTTOM OUT OF NOWHERE and Rock is up 1-0! Crowd pops huge for the first fall as that was incredibly sudden. HHH isn’t up yet and we have 49 minutes to go. Jerry points out that Rock is more or less up 2-0 as HHH has to beat him, not tie him.

We head to the floor and brawl up the aisle with HHH going into the railing. Rock suplexes HHH back in to get two. Shawn has been a nonfactor so far. Rock wraps HHH’s leg around the post and is dominating at the moment. A lot more knee work by the Rock and HHH is in big trouble. Rock goes back to the knee even more.

Here comes a Figure Four and HHH is screaming OH CRAP OW! We get into the always interesting debate over should HHH give up to break the hold or try to fight out of it. Rock gets three two counts here as HHH needs a break badly. There’s a reversal so he managed to get said break. His leg is almost destroyed though.

Out to the floor and HHH can barely walk. We fight into the crowd for a bit with Rock landing in some big shots. Back to ringside now with HHH in control. We’re past 20 minutes in now. Sorry for the lack of time details but they don’t put it up so I can’t keep up with it that well.

An elbow gets two for HHH. Actually he gets a bunch of twos here. HHH hammers in the corner but Rock gets some kicks to the knee as he’s using some psychology. He gets thrown to the floor for his efforts though and the count is on. HHH breaks up the count and gets thrown knees first into the steps to reinjure them.

Back in and Rock stays on the knee. HHH hammers away but Rock gets a knee crusher to break that up. Rock wants another Figure Four but HHH shoves him off and gets a Pedigree out of nowhere (that’s been happening a lot in this match) to tie it up with 34:30 to go. Instead of covering again he chokes Rock for no apparent reason. Rock is mostly dead on his feet so HHH ducks down into a small package to get his second pin in 67 seconds to take the lead! 33:23 left.

We hit the floor and Rock is sent into the barricade. Rock walks up the aisle as HHH follows him in an attempt to get some breath. HHH catches him but Rock whips him into the set. Rock tries a suplex but HHH counters into one of his own to take Rock down. Both guys are down in the aisle and we pass thirty minutes. This is the longest match either guy has ever had apparently.

Rock whips him into the apron and gets a backdrop to go after his back a bit. Shawn is yelling at the announcers, saying there won’t be any BS countouts. Rock sends him in but puts his head down, getting caught by a facebuster. A Piledriver of all things (Lawler loves it) gives HHH a 3-1 lead with 27:30 to go. Shawn screws up as HHH is still laying on Rock but Shawn doesn’t count.

Rock gets a huge clothesline out of nowhere but HHH takes his head off for two. The guys are starting to get tired but it’s nothing serious yet. HHH goes up but Rock slams/arm drags him off the top. Both guys down now with 25 minutes left. Rock is up first and he SMACKS HHH with some rights. The Rock: laying out justice with his fists.

La Magistrol (a Mexican cradle that Eddie often used) gets two for Rock. Rock might have a small cut on his forehead. There’s a sleeper by HHH which as JR and I agree on, is a smart move. Rock gets his arm up before the third drop so HHH channels his inner Flair and puts his feet on the ropes. Repeat the last sentence but this time Shawn catches HHH and breaks up the hold.

Rock fights up and gets some right hands. Another sleeper is blocked into a belly to belly but both guys are down. Rock tries the spinning DDT that he used as Rocky Maivia. That is botched to heck and back as instead of a DDT Rock loses his grip. He settles for a regular DDT instead and it’s 3-2 with HHH still in the lead at 19:20 to go. They’re mixing things up here as we’ve had five falls and two have been off finishers.

Out to the floor again and Rock drops him on the barrier. HHH grabs a chair but Shawn grabs it away from him. Rock sends him shoulder first into the steps. Back in the ring and HHH blasts Rock with the chair for the DQ to tie it up at just over 16 minutes left. Since Rock is out cold, HHH throws out a rollup to go up 4-3 at just under 16 minutes. That my friends, is psychology.

Rock is busted open now. 15 minutes left and Shawn looks at the cut which is nothing bad at all. HHH throws on a sleeper again which of course gets two arm drops. Rock fights back with punches but the sleeper goes on again and this time it actually gets a fall, giving HHH a 5-3 lead with about 12:30 to go. HHH won’t let go so Shawn makes him break the hold. Shawn gets in his face and HHH doesn’t like that in the slightest.

The argument lets Rock get to his feet and it’s time for more punching. HHH gets sent over the top rope, landing on a cameraman to give us the eternally funny view of the camera flying everywhere. Ten minutes to go and HHH goes up top. Being a heel he gets crotched and it’s a superplex by Rock to get the crowd right back into it. 8:45 to go.

Both guys are down and the count is on. Rock drapes an arm over but can only get a long two. 8 minutes left. HHH gets knocked to the floor and Rock lands a slingshot to put HHH into the post. The Great One gets sent into the steps and both guys are down with six minutes to go. And now, for the announce table.

Five minutes left and HHH wants the Rock Bottom on the table. Rock counters into a Pedigree and the table doesn’t break! FREAKING OW MAN! HHH is more or less dead so Rock slides in and it’s a countout for the Rock to make it 5-4 at 3:50 to go. HHH is bleeding now too. Here come the McMahons! Shawn starts the count again and HHH beats it by a second.

Rock is all fired up and they crank this up again. DDT gets two as Rock drills both McMahon men. Spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow and we’re tied up with 2 minutes to go! DX is here too. Shane pulls Shawn to the floor so Shawn beats up both McMahon men as well. There’s a strange noise in the arena and DX is in the ring. Shawn gets knocked to the floor, and a video appears on the screen.

It’s the nursery rhyme video from earlier and Rock gets a Rock Bottom. DX and Shane beats the tar out of him and Shane gets a big chair shot. The funny thing about the video at this point is someone was covering up the letter I in “Is NOW” so I thought the video said Snow, making me wonder why Al Snow was here.

Anyway in case you’re a moron, it’s the Undertaker and the debut of the American Tough Guy. The song saying “He’s here!” just as we got the first shot of Taker on the motorcycle couldn’t have been more perfect. The crowd loses their freaking minds as Taker annihilates DX and the McMahons, including the BIGGEST CHOKESLAM EVER to X-Pac. Serves you right you little pest. Everyone gets drilled including Vince.

Stephanie tries to be the hero but Taker grabs her by the throat too. HHH makes the save and gets a chokeslam for his troubles. Now this is where they screw it up. The clock shows about 5 seconds left as HHH is chokeslamed. Shawn sees this but Taker gets a Tombstone as well, clearly after the time (the clock disappeared with 3 seconds left) expired and the buzzer sounded late. Taker waited for the buzzer to go off to hit the Tombstone, but Shawn calls a DQ anyway and HHH wins the title. The chokeslam would have been enough for the DQ, but the way they ended it kind of screwed things up.

Rating: A. This was FUN. They realized they screwed up in 96 so this time they made it all about can you top this with the fast pace and most importantly, NO REST HOLDS! I have zero problem with guys being out there for 40 minutes and needing 60 seconds to catch their breath, but in 96 the match was probably 20 minutes resting.

This was a fast paced match between two stallions and the whole thing came out great. The ending was a bit botched but it was insane enough that the fans ate it up with a spoon. Another important thing was the lack of finishers. It wouldn’t make sense for them to be able to kick out of everything after such a war so they didn’t insult our intelligence by having them do it. Excellent match that flew by.

From a few months earlier, at Backlash 2000.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Triple H

HHH is champion, Vince is in his corner, Shane is guest referee, Stephanie is HOT in a little dark blue dress. Vince points out the card subject to change line in the program, which means that Austin isn’t here. Slugout to start and Rock knocks him down after a delay into the spit punch. Rock stomps him down in the corner but Shane drags him off. Brahma Bull charges at HHH but gets sent to the floor.

HHH sends him into the steps and then the announce table. Vince posts Rock and throws him back in as the odds are stacked very high already. That only gets two, as do the suplex and knee drop. HHH hooks on a long chinlock and puts his feet on the top rope. Shane has been leaving his eyes elsewhere of course. Rock finally gets up and drops HHH onto the buckle to escape. He fires off right hands and they clothesline each other.

Rock knocks him into the corner but Vince pops up with a belt shot to put him down for a very close two. Rock gets up and throws HHH to the floor where he may have hurt his arm. Back in the ring Rock hits a spinning DDT but Shane won’t count. Rock goes after Shane and they head to the floor where HHH gets in a shot to take over. Pedigree through the table is countered by a low blow but Shane doesn’t DQ him for some reason. Instead he gets up on the table too and it’s a DOUBLE ROCK BOTTOM through the table.

Both guys are half dead but Rock gets up first. There’s no referee, but it doesn’t really matter as Shane wouldn’t count a pin anyway. Vince gets in the ring with the guys and hits Rock in the back. That goes badly as you would expect because HHH gets back up and hits a Pedigree. Here are Patterson and Brisco to count but Rock kicks out. The Stooges pound on Rock and HHH gets in some shots too. His arm is clearly hurt.

Vince hits Rock in the head with a chair so hard that he falls down too. CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin, to a MASSIVE pop, comes out with a chair and murders everyone in sight. Everyone is down so Austin leaves as Linda and the recently fired Earl Hebner come out. Stephanie gets shoved down and it’s a spinebuster and the People’s Elbow to give Rock the title back.

Rating: B+. Why this didn’t happen at Wrestlemania I’m not sure. Either way, it happened here and it was GREAT. This was the Attitude Era formula of throw EVERYTHING out there but give the fans what they want in the end. That makes the wild brawling ok and it gives Rock the title back, which is how it should be. Austin’s pop was incredible and thankfully for Rock’s time on top, Austin wouldn’t be back to action for about six more months.

We’ll jump forward again to Taboo Tuesday 2005. HHH has recently turned on mentor Ric Flair, setting up this war inside a cage.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that. The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Time for something modern, as HHH faces Daniel Bryan in the culmination of months of HHH saying Bryan wasn’t good enough.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

The winner goes into the triple threat later tonight. Cole says this should be a mismatch, even though Bryan is a Triple Crown winner and a three time World Champion. The YES chant was awesome in person and the place went absolutely nuts when Bryan’s music hit. Oddly enough he wasn’t announced at all and just came to the ring with his music. No Big Match Intros either. Bryan’s left shoulder is taped up after the attack a few weeks ago on Raw.

They stare each other down for a good while to start as a bunch of fans have YES written on pieces of paper. HHH offers a handshake and is quickly kicked down for two. Daniel fires off more kicks in the corner but HHH bails to the floor to avoid a big kick. Back in and HHH goes for the bad arm like a smart wrestler would but Bryan takes him down with a headlock takeover. A hard shoulder block drops Daniel but it’s right back to the headlock.

HHH drives shoulders in the corner but Daniel comes back with his kicks, only to have HHH take him down by the leg in a nice counter. Bryan gets away before HHH can wrap the arm around the post and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. The running knee off the apron puts both guys down as Stephanie is freaking out. Back in and Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Stephanie: “B+ AT BEST!”

A big right hand knocks Bryan out to the floor and it’s table time. Bryan fights out of a Pedigree attempt through the table but gets his arm slammed into the table. Stephanie: “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan is back in the ring at seven and HHH drives knees into the shoulder. We hit the armbar for a bit but Bryan is able to backdrop HHH to the floor. HHH is able to get up and block the FLYING GOAT with a big right hand, which looked like a slegehammer shot on the big screen.

HHH gets him back to the apron and drops him arm first onto the apron. Stephanie is still yelling at Bryan as she’s just perfect in this role. Back in and we go old school with a crossface chickenwing on the bad arm. HHH shifts into a regular Crossface and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it. Daniel makes the rope and they slug it out until Bryan drops him with a running forearm. Bryan loads up the moonsault but HHH wisely stops and tries a German, only to be reversed into three straight German suplexes for three straight near falls.

The Game counters another into a chickenwing attempt but HHH reverses into a tiger suplex of all things, putting Bryan down on his shoulder again. HHH’s superplex attempt is countered into a sunset bomb but Bryan can’t cover. The running dropkick in the corner has HHH in trouble but he comes out of the corner with a wicked clothesline. Stephanie: “YES! WOO!”

The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and a big kick to the head drops HHH again. Bryan loads up the flying headbutt, only to dive head first into a knee. Back to the Crossface and HHH rolls Bryan away from the ropes ala Benoit in 2004. Daniel is able to counter into the YES Lock out of nowhere but HHH gets a rope. HHH rolls outside and it’s the FLYING GOAT to send him into the barricade.

Bryan hits it again before firing off the YES Kicks to the chest. Back in and there’s the missile dropkick into the nipup followed by more YES Kicks. JBL: “Something isn’t right about this!” The big kick to the head gets two as the fans think this is awesome. Daniel loads up the running knee but is caught in a spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two and Stephanie is shocked.

A small package gets two on HHH so he hammers away in the corner with some heavy right hands. Another Pedigree is countered with a backdrop for two but HHH holds on to the grip. Bryan won’t get up though so HHH drives knees into the shoulder. HHH still can’t hit the Pedigree so Bryan kicks him in the face. With both guys spent, Daniel backflips out of a suplex and nails the running knee dead on to send himself to the main event at 25:58.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome. They played the underdog card perfectly and the fans ate it up with a spoon. I’m surprised they went with the clean pin instead of the fourway but that’s the better move at the end of the day. It’s definitive and clean with Bryan beating HHH in a fair match despite being injured coming in. Outstanding opener, even if most people knew Bryan was going to the title match anyway.

Now we get to the big stuff, with HHH facing Shawn Michaels for Shawn’s first match in nearly five years at Summerslam 2002.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Shawn is in jeans tonight to hide the knee braces. Michaels comes out with right hands but HHH sends him to the outside. Not that it matters as Shawn is right back inside with more right hands. HHH is tossed to the floor and Shawn hits a nice dive to take him out. Remember that this is Shawn’s first match since March of 1998, or four and a half years ago.

A clothesline puts HHH down again and it’s garbage can time. HHH gets in a shot to the ribs and drops Shawn face first onto the barricade to get a breather. Shawn comes back in and is tossed over the top again but he skins the cat to a big pop. A trashcan shot caves in HHH’s head and a top rope fist to the head puts him down again. Shawn tunes up the band but HHH counters into a backbreaker to get to the meat of the match.

Another backbreaker has Shawn in agony and flopping like a fish as only he can. HHH gives a crotch chop and kicks Shawn down with ease. It’s chair time but a shot to the back only gets two. Shawn escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two but walks into a facebuster. A DDT onto the chair is only good for two but Shawn is busted open. HHH takes off Shawn’s belt and whips him in the back as the screaming continues.

And now it’s sledgehammer time. Shawn gets in some shots to the ribs to escape and HHH drops the hammer. The fans are behind HBK but he gets whipped into the corner and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. HHH gets caught holding the ropes and Hebner physically breaks the hold before yelling HHH into the corner. They slug it out again and HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off, only to get crotched. HHH blasts Shawn’s wide open back with the chair and the crowd is somber.

A backbreaker onto the chair has Shawn lying motionless but HHH only gets two. He covers a few more times and HHH is very frustrated. A side slam onto the chair gets another two as JR screams for a fast count. Shawn counters a Pedigree onto the chair with a low blow and both guys are down. The HBK chant starts up again and HHH has the chair superkicked into his face. Now HHH is busted open too and Shawn slugs away before hitting the forearm and the nipup to blow the roof off the place.

Shawn backdrops him down and cracks HHH in the head with the chair. HHH is whipped over the corner and out to the floor where Shawn gets to beat on him with the belt. Shawn knocks him onto the announce table and hits him in the head with Hugo Savinovich’s shoe (Lawler: “A heel for a heel!”). HHH is sent into the steps and here’s a ladder being slammed into HHH’s face.

Some shots to the ribs have HHH screaming and the ladder is placed against the post with HHH being catapulted face first into the steel. That’s only good for two so Shawn heads outside again to get the ladder. HHH baseball slides the ladder into Michaels and pounds away at the cut head. For some reason HHH tries to come in off the top and gets caught in a superplex for two.

The crowd is losing their minds off these kickouts. A sunset flip gets two for Shawn but he gets caught by the knee to the face for two. HHH brings in the steps but Shawn drop toeholds him face first into the steel. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and Shawn puls out a table. Well why not since we’ve used everything else.

Shawn puts him on the table and splashes him from the top rope in the big spot of the match. Both guys are DONE and the fans are in awe. Shawn sends the ladder back inside, says he loves us all, and drops the elbow from the top. Michaels has that look in his eye and tunes up the band but HHH catches the kick coming in. He loads up the Pedigree but Shawn sweeps the legs and rolls HHH up for the pin to blow the roof off the place again.

Rating: A+. Anyone who has read my stuff over the years knows I do not like a lot of things about HHH. For tonight, forget all that because this is one of the best matches of all time. I’ve seen this match several times and it still had me smiling to see Shawn make comeback after comeback and give HHH every single thing he deserved. It goes to show how great Shawn is as he came in after being gone nearly FIVE YEARS and does this. That’s remarkable when you think about it and is one of the greatest performances of all time.

Let’s talk about the match a little bit. It’s an excellent example of how to book a comeback, which is probably Shawn’s greatest strength. Shawn had the people believing that he was DEAD but he kept hanging in there time after time and made the huge comeback just like the crowd wanted. The other thing that works so well is the ending which a lot of people overlook.

The crux of this match was the destruction of both guys and seeing how far they could take it. At the end though, Shawn uses a basic wrestling counter and a cradle to win, totally shifting gears and beating HHH, the Cerebral Assassin, by thinking. That’s INCREDIBLE psychology and the perfect way to end this match. All in all, it’s a masterpiece and arguably the best performance of all time, all things considered.

Post match HHH becomes the universal evil by hitting Shawn square in the back with the sledgehammer and leaving him laying. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

This might be his best match ever. From No Way Out 2001.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

First is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living heck out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

We’ll wrap it up with one of my all time favorite matches and the match that made HHH. From Summerslam 1998.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Rock has held the title since December and there hasn’t been a longer reign since. The DX band plays HHH to the ring. Chyna and Mark Henry are the seconds here. The referee takes a long time to get the belt ready which is why it’s usually above the ring when the match begins. Rock talks some trash and the fight is on. A quick clothesline takes the champion down and a facebuster does the same. HHH escapes the Rock Bottom but gets punched down in the corner.

A quick Pedigree attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor and Rock goes for the ladder. As is the custom, there’s a fight over who gets to bring the ladder into the ring. HHH takes the fight back to the ring before going after a ladder. This time it’s Rock’s turn to stop the attempt and they fight in the aisle again. Rock gets a ladder up against the ring and whips HHH HARD into the steel.

The champion starts his climb but HHH flies in off the top to break it up, but the ladder falls on him to keep both guys down. A hard ladder shot puts Rock down again and HHH drives the top of the ladder into his ribs. Rock pulls HHH off the ladder and the future Game lands on his knee, legitimately injuring it and requiring several months off to heal up. Some elbows to the knee make the pain even worse but the ladder being dropped on it is far more painful.

Rock puts the leg between the ladder legs and crushes it with the chair for good measure. Now the leg is wrapped around the post and the fans are split. Rock bridges the ladder between the steps and the barricade so he can drop the knee across the steel. The ladder is barely in one piece so Rock’s climbing is very slow, allowing HHH to make a last second save. He also shoves the ladder down until his knee can recover a bit.

Rock is shoved to the floor but he catches HHH in a catapult face first into the ladder. The champion tries to slam the ladder onto HHH but a kick to the ribs makes him drop the ladder. A clothesline puts Rock down but he counters a Pedigree into a backdrop onto the ladder. Mark Henry throws in another ladder but Rock does the slowest climb in recorded history, allowing HHH to shove it down again. HHH baseball slides the top of the ladder into Rock’s face to send him to the floor, busting him open bad.

Now it’s time for HHH to climb up but Rock makes another save to send HHH crashing to the mat. Rock puts a ladder on top of the corner and plants HHH with a DDT. Both guys slowly climb for a slugout on top but it’s HHH being shoved off into the ladder in the corner. With one last rush he shoves Rock’s ladder over to get us back to even again. Chyna slides HHH a chair and knocks the ladder into Rock before beating the chair into the ladder over and over again.

HHH can’t follow up so Rock slams him down onto the ladder and hits a People’s Elbow to get the crowd on his side again. HHH somehow gets up again and tries a climb but makes the mistake of diving onto Rock for a Rock Bottom. Rock goes up but HHH pulls him back down for a Pedigree as JR is losing his mind on these big moves. HHH tries to get up but Henry throws powder in his eyes. A blind HHH goes up but can’t see the belt. Rock goes up as well but it’s Chyna with a low blow, allowing HHH to pull down the belt for the win.

Rating: A+. This was a history making match as these two are officially the future and it was time for Rock to ascend to the top of the company. The match is one of my all time favorites and it’s an overlooked masterpiece because of the series these two had in 2000. These two went to war and had Madison Square Garden, the smark capital of the world, eating out of the palm of their hand. That’s only happened a handful of times ever and this was one of the best ever.

As for the match itself it worked for a variety of reasons. More than anything else though it was due to the ladder being a prop for the guys rather than the focus of the match. The story built around the leg injury and the drama instead of the big spots. It’s very rare that you get a ladder match like this anymore and the match is absolute required viewing as a result.

HHH is a very interesting subject and one of the most controversial wrestlers of all time. Yes he’s caused a lot of headaches over the years with his ego and hogging the spotlight (A YEAR OF BROCK LESNAR WASTED for example), but at the same time, good night can the guy have a great match. He’s wrestled against everyone and it’s very rare to see a bad HHH match. I can understand people complaining about his place on the card and some of his booking, but anyone suggesting that he can’t go in the ring doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 27: Dean Malenko

Get a blanket, because today is the Ice Man Dean Malenko.

Malenko got his start all the way back in 1979 but we’ll pick things up in 1992 when he made his debut in the mainstream. From Clash of the Champions XIX.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Joe Malenko/Dean Malenko vs. Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff

The Malenko Brothers are the seven seed in the tournament and represent Europe. Save for the Steiner Brothers and one other team, the seedings are almost completely arbitrary which we’ll see more of later. To give you an idea of the problem, Steamboat and Koloff, who have seven World Tag Team Title reigns between them, aren’t seeded at all (each match only has one seeded team so the other team is always unseeded).

Steamboat and Joe get things going with Ricky going for an early Boston crab. Joe is quickly in the ropes so Ricky snaps off some armdrags to put him back down. Dean comes in and takes a few armdrags into armbars. A tag brings in Nikita to a big reaction and he grabs a bearhug on Dean. Nikita drives shoulders into the ribs in the corner before catching Dean coming off the top rope in mid air.

Joe dropkicks Dean in the back to put him on top for two. Koloff no sells a snap suplex and throws Dean up in the air for a crash. Back to Ricky who gets caught in a belly to back suplex/clothesline combo for two. Dean puts his knee in Ricky’s back and pulls on his arm and leg before it’s off to Joe for a clothesline. Ricky finally escapes and makes the tag off to Nikita who cleans house with power all around, including the Russian Sickle for the pin on Joe.

Rating: C. There wasn’t anything special here but you had a balanced team against two very competent guys in the Malenkos. Koloff was back and actually having some decent matches while he was motivated around this time, including joining Sting in his war against the Dangerous Alliance. Steamboat was his usual good self and making others look good at the same time.

One of Dean’s first big breaks came in ECW where he had a big feud with Eddie Guerrero. From August 3, 1995.

TV Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is defending. Feeling out process to start with both guys fighting over a wristlock. You know this is going to be technically heavy. Both guys try to drop to the mat and we get a standoff. A headlock takes Dean to the mat as Joey talks about Chavo Jr. making his debut in Los Angeles. Eddie lands on his feet to counter a monkey flip and he takes Dean down with a nice headscissors. A hiptoss and armdrag put Dean down and they trade headscissors to give Eddie control again.

There’s the hilo from Guerrero for two as Joey compares this to Flair, Gagne and Thesz. Not exactly but Joey didn’t always make sense. An abdominal stretch has Dean in trouble but he fights out of it and grabs a belly to back suplex. There’s a brainbuster for good measure but Guerrero is up at two. Malenko’s gutbuster (not the awesome middle rope variety) has Eddie in even more trouble and having his tornado DDT countered doesn’t help.

A nice tiger bomb gets two for the champion but he gets caught in a quick victory roll for two. Eddie puts him down and hits the frog splash out of nowhere but his ribs are too hurt to cover. Dean is smart enough to lock on an abdominal stretch but Eddie is quickly in the ropes. Malenko tries a rollup but Eddie reverses into one of his own for two, only to be caught in a sunset flip which he reverses as well into a pin on Dean for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. The out of nowhere part is right as this felt like they were completely out of time and had to go to the finish. I’m not a fan of that kind of an ending at all as it takes away from all the rib work and build they had going on. It’s a good match but their Hostile City Showdown 2/3 falls match is better.

Dean would make it to WCW in late 1995 and he quickly took over the Cruiserweight division. Here he is in a grudge match at Hog Wild 1996.

Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit

This works. Jimmy Hart is with Malenko. Now there’s an odd combination. Liz is in leather. This WORKS. Even Woman looks good. Dusty says Benoit is coming out with two devilish women and he’s talking about Woman and Liz. Wow I thought you meant the two flies on his head. So Malenko is the hired gun of the Dungeon apparently to get Benoit out of the way in the endless Dungeon vs. Horsemen feud.

I would tell you they start with some technical stuff but I figured that was obvious. That goes away soon and we’re in straight physical stuff here with Benoit being in control less than Malenko. Dusty talks about the women at ringside which makes sense as he says Dean has to watch out for them. Ok, that’s fine. Tony uses this to talk about Konnan who isn’t on the main card tonight. Benoit takes over and just beats Dean up a lot.

NOW we hit the technical stuff and the pinfall reversals that you knew were coming. Dang these guys are crisp. That was very impressive. Seriously did you expect anything else? Benoit does the short arm scissors lift that Davey Boy Smith was so famous for doing to Shawn Michaels, showing that it’s more of a leverage thing than power. Tony says these two are the wrestlers of the new century for WCW.

That’s just amazing to hear knowing what’s coming. Tony tries really hard to not insult bikers, which makes him all the more insulting. Heenan talks about how awesome the midcard is and my mind continues to be blown over how WCW managed to screw everything up with the talent they had. Malenko gets a jumping tombstone as I’m trying to figure out who is face and who is heel here.

That was the issue with the NWO: EVERYONE became at least half face. That’s fine in some cases, but for others it just didn’t work at all as there are some people that you just don’t want to cheer. It’s fine if you have people that are never associated with the NWO angle, but EVERYONE was. That can’t work and it didn’t at all. Dang these two are physical. Heenan plugs the TV shows which you likely needed to watch in order to see this show. Brilliant indeed Bobby.

Benoit hooks the Liontamer before it’s called that. Benoit busts out a dive over the ropes as the fans are DEAD. That’s in no way the problem of the wrestlers either as this has been a great match. This is the problem with having non-fans, who we now go to a wide shot of, being in attendance as they’ll cheer Hogan. I’d bet on it. Dusty talks about how tired they are and points out that he’s talking about the guys in the ring.

Dang where would I be without the Dream? Benoit hits a nice powerbomb which he should have used more often. We hit a minute to go, which means this match had a 22 minute time limit. And there’s the draw. Actually scratch that as we’re getting a 5 minute overtime. SWEET. The fans boo the heck out of this. Yeah screw this incredible match that has two guys working hard for YOUR entertainment at a show you’re not even paying to see.

I guess because they’re not 6’8 and don’t weigh 300lbs they’re not worth watching. One person shouts to get this garbage out of the ring. I didn’t know fans like that could get in the ring in the first place. Also, don’t call yourself garbage. It’s not nice. Benoit is clearly ticked off at the fans and I can’t blame him a bit. Benoit hooks the Cloverleaf on Malenko to be evil. Benoit goes for the knee and Dean is in trouble. Fans continue to be dead for this.

We have a minute to go and Benoit is dominating. Dean gets a rollup at 3 seconds left for two. WE GET ANOTHER OVERTIME BABY! We’ve gotten 25 minutes of Benoit vs. Malenko….and you can’t hear Dusty over the fans booing. I’ll spare the rant for the rating.

Benoit hits his finisher, the Dragon Suplex (Full Nelson into a suplex) for two as the Crossface didn’t exist yet for him. Malenko gets the Cloverleaf but as Benoit is almost in the ropes he shifts into an STF. And then Woman goes for Malenko and Benoit hooks a rollup to end it. Very good match.

Rating: A-. This was great stuff but the ending hurt it a lot. These two had mad chemistry together and this was no exception. Giving them nearly half an hour is fine as they looked like they had been out there for about 5 minutes at the end. It’s no wonder that they were such sought after guys by WWF. However, there was one reason why this match was hurt, which brings me to this.

This match sums up WCW’s demise in a nutshell. Everything they wound up doing wrong to just die is summed up right here. To begin with, they’re making NO gate money for this show. The fans can come and go as they please. In other words, with five thousand people here at say 20 dollars a person, that’s 100,000 dollars they’re just not getting, and that’s being conservative with it.

We’ll also ignore any potential money from parking, concessions and likely merchandise as there is no indication of anyone wearing anything other than leather out there that I can see. The reason we’re in Sturgis, South Dakota of all places and having a wrestling show at a biker rally you ask? The only answer I can find anywhere is that Eric Bischoff likes motorcycles. Seriously, THAT’S why we’re here.

If that’s not enough reason, as soon as Bischoff was out of power, this show was canceled. They came here FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. But wait, remember that there was a line in there about these two being the wrestlers of the century for WCW. Well since these four PPVs were around the end of the century, one could assume that they would have moved closer and closer to the main events right?

Let’s see. Benoit’s position on the card over these four shows: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, Off the card, 5th out of 9. Malenko: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, 7th out of 9 (as a referee and not a wrestler), 3rd of 9. On the other hand, let’s compare these guys to Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash. Nash: Next to last, next to last, next to last, main event. Hogan: Main event all four years. But remember that Hogan and Nash were DRAWS BABY!

Yeah the fans are going to pay to see them….except at this show because WCW didn’t get any ticket money here but pay no attention to that. Keep in mind that the fans will boo these two but cheer Hogan. Why do I have an image of Hogan talking to the higher ups and saying well they cheered me and booed those guys. What more proof do you need that I should be on top of the card?

The problem is these fans are all drunken bikers that likely never even watch the show. Yeah, coming from a freaking biker rally really looks cutting edge doesn’t it? I’m sure this got away completely from the wrestling fans are hicks theory. It was an amazing match, but it’s a microcosm of the things that killed the biggest wrestling company in the world.

And now, a match with his biggest WCW rival from Halloween Havoc 1996.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio

These two have been trading the title back and forth a bit lately. Rey is champion here and Dean has one of his old masks that he ripped off of him. Song angles never get old. Dean jumps him early and we have Mike Tenay here on commentary for the sake of sanity. Mike says that without the mask Rey is done. Nah he won two world titles after that so I’d think Mike is wrong here.

Rey’s knees are both in one piece here so he’s flying all over the place and is the most exciting thing most of the fans have ever seen in their lives. We kind of stop things for a bit here so Rey can put the old mask that Dean brought with him back on. Ok then. These two had some great matches as they did the whole technician vs. high flier thing and it almost always worked. This would be one of those times that it worked.

Dean grounding him here is the right thing to do as it fits into the psychology of the match here. I can live with it when it makes sense I guess. There’s a lot of this in Doug Williams vs. Kendrick at the moment. I love that spinning backbreaker that Dean can snap off like that. They’re doing a nice slow build here and it’s working very well as Rey is going to make his comeback and it’ll be awesome more than likely.

Ah here it comes. He starts busting out all of his big flips and cool moves and they start to work, playing into the idea that as long as Dean keeps it on the mat he can beat Rey. They hit insane speed for a reversal sequence that is just awesome. Rey starts busting out the ranas so you know he’s serious now. Dean counters West Coast Pop into a powerbomb which looks great. A gutwrench powerbomb off the top gives Dean the belt back in a cool ending. He got a BIG face pop despite being a heel here. That’s odd, but ok then.

Rating: B. Solid opener here as the crowd is very awake now. They’ve had better ones but the psychology was here more than it usually is but this worked out well. Rey did his thing and Dean did his. You combine that with good chemistry and this is what you get. Good match and great opener.

Dean would finally lose the title to Ultimo Dragon at Starrcade 1996. Here’s his chance to get it back at Clash of the Champions XXXIV.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dean is now a good guy here and is challenging after losing the title to the Dragon at Starrcade 1996. They trade wristlocks to start before heading down to the mat with Dragon grabbing a leg lock. We take an early break and come back with the two of them circling each other and heading into the ropes. Dean slams him into the buckle a few times and gets two off a suplex. A headscissors keeps Dragon on the mat but he fights up and tosses Malenko out to the floor.

Back in and Dean hits a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a legbar. That goes nowhere so it’s off to a half crab instead but Dean shifts back to the legbar for a second time. Off to a stump puller (Dean stands over Dragon’s neck and pulls up on the leg) before Dean covers for two. Malenko throws the champion to the floor and Dragon is holding his leg. Back in and Dean tries a Figure Four but Dragon blocks the hold from going on full. With that not working, Dean throws him into the corner for a running clothesline, only to get kicked in the face.

Malenko is up fast enough to pull Dragon off the top with a superplex but can’t follow up. A rollup gets two on the champion but he counters a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for two of his own. Dragon comes back with a springboard dropkick to send Dean to the floor, setting up the Asai Moonsault (springboard moonsault to the floor) from its inventor.

They get back inside and Dragon hits his moonsault for a very close near fall. A top rope hurricanrana drops Dean but he counters the tiger suplex (double arm hook suplex which won Dragon the title in the first place) into a rollup for two. Malenko comes back with a double underhook powerbomb, knocks Sonny Onoo to the floor, and puts on the Texas Cloverleaf for the submission and the title.

Rating: A-. Another great Cruiserweight Title match here to open up a Clash. There was a very solid story here with Dean using his technical and mat wrestling skills to counter the Dragon’s high flying. Both guys looked great out there and the match was somehow better than Malenko’s match at the previous Clash.

Dean would get a shot at a heavyweight belt at Uncensored 1997.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is due to Eddie costing Dean the Cruiserweight Title last month. Think this one will be awesome? Fast paced stuff to start as Dean hits a shoulder to send Eddie to the floor. Dean stomps a mudhole (Dusty’s word) into Eddie and adds a suplex so he can yell at Eddie a bit. Dean is all ticked off here and it’s kind of awesome. This is no DQ apparently. Eddie gets all aggressive too and is loudly booed, I guess making him the heel here.

Dean locks on a half crab as we cut to the back to see the NWO standing over an unconscious Rick Steiner. At least we didn’t miss anything as Dean has the hold on still. He shifts it back into almost a half Liontamer as we confirm it was Rick. Dean throws him over the top which isn’t a DQ here as we change the rules again. Despite Eddie being the default heel here, Dean grabs the belt for a shot with it and is booed as well.

Rock Bottom out of nowhere takes Dean down as does a dropkick to the knee. Eddie works over the knee with a shot from the top and a hilo down onto it. We hit the leg lock as Eddie controls some more. STF now as Rick is taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance. The NWO stands behind him and pretends to care in a nice jerk moment. Out to the floor as Dean is in real trouble.

Figure Four goes on and Eddie actually grabs the ropes. I guess this is around the time he turned heel. Dean tries to speed things up a bit and fails completely. Hilo misses but a baseball slide sends Dean into the railing. Eddie tries a HUGE dive but gets sent into the railing chest first.

They chop it out and Eddie gets a backbreaker and powerbomb for two each. They speed it up and do some technical stuff so Dean kicks him low for two. Nice guy that Dean. Powerslam by Dean for two and he hits Eddie with a Frog Splash but pulls Eddie up in a rather stupid move. More technical and speed stuff results in a German to Eddie for two.

Tornado DDT puts Dean down as this is a very back and forth match. Eddie tries to pay Dean back with the Texas Cloverleaf and there it is. Here comes Syxx with his camera because one NWO instance during the match wasn’t enough I guess. He tries to steal the belt so Eddie goes after him. Dean gets the camera, the camera goes upside Eddie’s head and Dean is US Champion.

Rating: B+. Great match until the ending which makes the whole thing about Syxx instead of the great match which is another example of what was wrong with WCW: there was no payoff to the 20 minutes of wrestling because the NWO becomes the focus of things again. Oh well. Eddie vs. Dean for twenty minutes is hard to complain about and this was no exception as far as great matches go.

Back to the classics on Nitro, October 13, 1997.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Apparently the decision in the tag match stands because Larry is an assigned official. Assigned at a PPV but what difference does that make? Also Eric can’t reverse the decision. Rey gives his mask to a baby at ringside but the baby gives it back to him. It’s fast paced stuff to start with Dean taking it to the mat to slow Rey down. Back up and Rey goes from a test of strength into a sunset flip for two. Dean catapults him to the apron but Mysterio pops right back in.

Back in and Rey counters a variety of holds by Dean by flying through the air, only to be caught by a leg lariat for two. A quick victory roll gets two for Rey but a headscissors is countered into a side slam for no cover. Off to a figure four necklock by Dean for a few seconds before he powerbombs Rey halfway back to Mexico for two. Rey comes back and pounds away in the corner but Dean launches him into the corner.

Mysterio lands on the top rope and hits a flip attack to take Dean down again. A sunset flip gets two on Malenko and the West Coast Pop looks to finish. At two though Eddie runs in and rips Rey’s mask off, causing him to break the hold. Malenko backflips up into the Texas Cloverleaf and Rey taps immediately to hide his face.

Rating: B. This was one of the better matches I’ve ever seen them have and one of the best cruiserweight matches they’ve ever had on Nitro. They barely ever stopped moving other than a quick rest hold by Dean. Other than that it was five minutes of nonstop action with an ending that advanced the story and kept Rey looking strong at the same time. Great match here and actually worth checking out for how fast and agile Rey was in his time.

Soon after this, Dean would get in a feud with Chris Jericho, who consistently beat Dean. Malenko went home, leaving Jericho to dominate the division. Jericho beat so many opponents that he held a battle royal at Slamboree 1998 to determine his next challenger.

Cruiserweight Battle Royal

You can be eliminated by going to the floor or pinfall here and the winner gets a title shot at Jericho later in the night. The more entertaining part though is Jericho doing the introductions in Dave Penzer’s place.

Super Calo: This guy’s hat never comes off!

Chavo Guerrero Jr.: He used to be a great bartender but he’s the scourge of the Guerrero family.

Ciclope: From selling chimichangas to WCW!

Damien: He can’t afford a mask so he’s using paint!

El Dandy: The winner of the Lou Ferrigno look-a-like contest.

El Grio: The world light featherweight champion!

Juventud Guerrera: Pulled up in a rusted out 67 El Camino Chevy, the ugliest man in our business, Quasimodo Guerrera!

Marty Jannetty: He’ll rock rock until he drops drops.

Kidman: A lost and lonely soul and Jericho has calamine lotion with him.

Evan Karagias: 0/10.

Lenny Lane: I want my Loverboy tape back!

Psychosis: He has a lot of hubcaps in his collection and can get you one if you need it.

Silver King: If he wins 12 more matches he gets to be Gold King.

Johnny Swinger: Johnny Cinger!

Villano IV: Representing Villano I-LXII!

Everyone goes at it to start and if you go through the ropes to the floor it’s an elimination as well. Evan is out first but there are still too many people to be able to do much. Chavo backdrops Swinger out and hits a tornado DDT on someone I couldn’t see. Psychosis hits a springboard hurricanrana on Damien but doesn’t throw him out. Super Calo is dropkicked out by Juvy and King is out at someone’s hands. Lane and Dandy have a mini match in the middle of the ring as Juvy hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to take Psychosis down.

Grio gets dumped and Lane misses a dive off the top. Jannetty and Villano both go out as we’re down to eight. Lane goes up but Kidman throws Juvy into him to knock Lane out. Juvy dropkicks Damien out and we’re down to six. Dandy is dropkicked off the apron and it’s five: Ciclope, Chavo, Kidman, Psychosis and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo out as Heenan does his schtick of picking everyone in the match. Psychosis misses a charge and goes out as Juvy pulls Kidman out. Juvy sees he’s alone with Ciclope….and eliminates himself to give Ciclope the title shot?

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal so how good can it really be? The high spots were nice but at the same time they made a lot of the guys in the match look stupid for trying something like that. The ending was confusing but all will be explained in just a few seconds. Nothing outside of the ordinary here other than some high spots.

Jericho hits the ring immediately but Ciclope unmasks to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO! The place goes NUTS in one of the loudest pops WCW ever had.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Dean shows more emotion in a fifteen second burst than he did in his entire career, stomping Jericho down in the corner and a suplex puts him down again. A dropkick sends Jericho out to the floor and Dean follows him out with right hands to the head. Back in and Dean opts to fire off more punches instead of rolling Jericho up when he has the chance. A quick hot shot gives Jericho a breather and a backsplash gets two.

Jericho suplexes his down and gets another two off the arrogant cover. The Lionsault gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Dean fights up and tries the Liontamer on Jericho but Chris quickly makes the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw gets two on Malenko but the top rope hurricanrana is countered into the top rope gutbuster. The Cloverleaf gives Dean the title back.

Rating: A. The match was decent though nothing great, but the story here is the emotion. This whole story was built up on the emotion the fans felt for Malenko and wanting to see him make Jericho eat his words. It’s a classic story: hero falls, villain reigns and runs his mouth, hero returns to vanquish the villain. No unexplained turns, no politics, no swerves (ok maybe one with the disguise) and possibly the loudest reaction ever in WCW. Clearly there’s nothing to this storytelling idea though right?

Here’s a match with an opponent you may have heard of. From November 23, 1998 on Nitro.

Bret Hart vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is favoring his knee after the attack earlier. Bret goes right for the knee to take over and kicks away but Dean gets in a right hand and some stomps to take over. Dean tries a rolling cradle but the knee gives out and they roll to the floor. We take a break and come back with Tony telling us about a special bonus Nitro tomorrow with another hour. Oh freaking JOY.

Dean tries a suplex and the knee holds up for the most part but he can’t follow up. A small package is good for two on Hart as Tony actually gets a fact right: Windham wasn’t an original Horseman. Dean comes back with a sleeper which Heenan points out allows him to rest the leg. Bret fights out of it with a belly to back but Malenko keeps the hold on. They head outside for a few seconds before Dean chokes with the boot in the corner.

Bret goes right back to the knee to take over though and snaps the bad leg down. He grabs the leg again but gets enziguried down to give Dean a breather. Back up and Dean slams him into the buckle while hobbling across the ring. Nice touch. A superplex doesn’t work but Bret goes down to the apron to keep Malenko out of trouble. The leg lariat sets up the Texas Cloverleaf but Bret is right in the ropes.

They fall to the floor with Dean landing on the leg to keep him down. Bret tries to bring in a chair but the referee takes it away, allowing Malenko to nail a missile dropkick for a very close two. Malenko tries a leapfrog but can’t get the elevation and goes down again. Bret wraps the leg around the post a few times and nails a Diamond Cutter, causing the referee to stop it.

Rating: B. I was really liking this one and the ending actually makes it better. Malenko doesn’t have to do a clean or even dirty job here and goes down fighting the whole way. His comeback was great with the knee being sold the whole way through. But of course we couldn’t have Dean move up the card long term or anything like that as a result of a great performance like this.

Malenko would team up with Chris Benoit and go after the Tag Team Titles. From Uncensored 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

It’s a lumberjack with straps match and Hennig/Windham are defending. The lumberjacks are a bunch of lower/midcard guys including Meng and Norman Smiley. Benoit and Hennig get things going and Arn Anderson comes out to replace Chris Adams as a lumberjack. The champions try to leave and get beaten up like the cowards they are. Back in and Benoit chops Hennig to the floor for another whipping before it’s off to Barry.

Chris is find with chopping Windham to the floor as well where the Texan gets whipped as well. Off to Dean who hammers away with more aggression than you would expect from him. The Horsemen double team Barry down but Hennig gets in a cheap shot to take over. Benoit is thrown to the floor and gets whipped a few times before it’s back to a chinlock from Curt. The beating continues but Benoit finally snaps off a German suplex and makes the tag off to Dean. Everything breaks down and Malenko hits Hennig with a PerfectPlex for two but Barry breaks up the Texas Cloverleaf.

Windham tries to low bridge Dean to the floor but Malenko stops himself, only to have Hennig knock him out to the floor for a whipping. Now it’s Dean in trouble as Curt hooks a sleeper. Dean makes the ropes but is sent to the floor for more belt shots. Windham hammers away in the corner but Dean punches his way out of a belly to back suplex. The double tag brings in Hennig and Benoit as everything breaks down.

Benoit takes off Windham’s belt and throws him outside for a brawl. Hennig goes after Anderson, earning him a tire iron shot to the head. Malenko breaks up the superplex and Benoit hits the longest Swan Dive I’ve ever see (Hennig would have been in a good place for a 450) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t as good as their first one last month but it finally got the job done. Last month’s was brought WAY down by the booking but the wrestling itself was better. This one was more of a tag team formula and that’s a hard idea to screw up. I could have done without Arn’s interference but to be fair Hennig went after him first. That Swan Dive was very impressive and I can live with it only hitting Curt’s arm as he was already out.

Then the rest of 1999 happened and WCW fell through the floor, including this match at Fall Brawl 1999.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.

Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?

Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.

The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.

Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.

Here’s Dean’s last match in WCW, from Souled Out 2000.

Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Kidman is one of the Filthy Animals and Malenko is part of the Revolution which was supposed to be a youth movement stable but it was changed into a military thing or something. This is under catch-as-catch-can which means a regular match but you can’t leave the ring.

Dean takes it to the floor quickly and the fans are loudly booing. We hear about what Kidman has to do tonight and I wonder why Douglas isn’t fighting for the Revolution tonight. LOUD booing now as Malenko keeps backing up. I have no idea if the fans know the rules here or not. Big crowd tonight too at over 14,000.

Kidman hammers away and Dean rolls to the floor, ending the match. Dean starts getting back in and I think he messed up here. This is exactly what this show didn’t need at all. Way too short to grade as it might have been two minutes long but the fans cheer for Kidman winning so uh….good? This was Dean’s last WCW match as he would debut as part of the Radicalz in 15 days.

Here’s one of his first big matches in the WWF, on February 7, 2000’s Raw.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

Dean would win the Light Heavyweight Title from Essa Rios and then again from Scotty 2 Hotty. Here’s Scotty’s rematch from Backlash 2000.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is champion and this is Scotty’s rematch I believe. Scotty dances with Lillian pre-match. Scotty starts off fast with some near falls. Belly to back puts Dean down and Scotty nips up into the Moonwalk. He sets for the bulldog to set up the Worm but Dean clotheslines him down instead. Dean, the heel, tries to get the buckle pad off but can’t quite get it. He rams Scotty into the buckle anyway and we head outside.

A dropkick to the knee gets two and Dean works the leg over a bit. After a quick leg lock he wraps it around the post a few times. Back to the leg lock and then a leg lace. Dean hits a knee crusher but Scotty comes back with an enziguri. That gets him nowhere so it’s back to the knee by Dean. He tries a spinning toehold but Scotty kicks him into the corner and rolls him up for two.

Malenko kicks at the knee again but then charges at Scotty, sending both of them out to the floor. Back in Dean hits a superplex to put both guys down. Dean is up first but walks into a backslide for two. Scotty bulldogs him down and it’s Worm time! That gets two so Malenko rolls him up with feet on the ropes for two. Things are speeding way up. Tiger Bomb gets two for Dean and he’s frustrated.

Scotty comes back at him again but walks into a powerslam for two. He tries to put Dean on the apron but gets guillotined down on the top rope. Malenko goes up top but Scotty pops him with a right hand. Scotty goes up for a superplex but Dean counters in mid air into a DDT. FREAKING OW MAN and Dean retains. SICK counter.

Rating: B. Malenko is awesome but unfortunately he never quite did anything of note in the WWF. The Light Heavyweight Title was almost exclusively defended on the late night weekend shows which meant that most people didn’t know the title was around or who held it. Dean would hold it until a few weeks before the next Wrestlemania. This was a really good match though and that ending is GREAT.

Here’s an indy match from the 3rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show.

Eddie Guerrero/D’Lo Brown vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

D’Lo punches Saturn to the floor to start as Dean and Perry are definitely the heels here. Now Dean and Brown stare at each other so D’Lo brings in Eddie. Eddie dropkicks him down but gets caught in the heel corner to give Dean control. Saturn slams Guerrero down for two and we hit a chinlock maybe ninety seconds into the match. Eddie fights up and makes the tag to Brown, setting up a VERY awkward looking sequence as Saturn and Brown miss each other several times until Saturn finally connects with a clothesline. It looked like they’re on different planets instead of in the same ring.

Thankfully Dean comes in to settle things down but a few seconds later it’s back to Saturn for some arm work. Saturn hooks a short arm scissors but Brown does the traditional power lift to escape. Back to Dean for a kick in the back and the leg lariat to put D’Lo down. The Radicalz work over the arm for a good while until Eddie comes in sans tag and dropkicks Saturn.

Not that it matters as the arm work continues but I guess Guerrero was getting bored. D’Lo finally hooks a neckbreaker to put Dean down and the hot tag brings in Eddie. The cameraman seems to trip as we keep getting shots of the mat instead of the action. Everything breaks down and Saturn accidentally kicks Dean, setting up the Low Down for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my this was bad. I don’t know what the deal was with Saturn and Brown but it looked like some horribly bad amateur stuff instead of two former champions. This match had no flow to it at all and was a near disaster. Eddie looked ok and that’s about all there is to say about the match.

Dean’s career would start winding down as he would become a ladies’ man who wanted Lita. Here he is going after her at Armageddon 2000.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Radicalz

Radicalz are Saturn, Malenko and Guerrero and this is under elimination rules. This is because Malenko, a ladies man at the time, won a date with Lita due to beating her in a Light Heavyweight Title match. It also resulted in Lita looking AMAZING in white bra and panties. Matt made the save in the bedroom in a funny bit. I haven’t seen that in years.

Eddie is in his old school attire with the half singlet. Jeff does a big dive to take out Perry and Eddie. Fans are all over Eddie as the heels control early. The fans are way behind Lita. Granted if you believe certain rumors lots of people have been behind Lita. And in front of her. Uh on top. Beneath too. Jeff puts out Eddie with a Swanton and Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind but a Death Valley Driver ends Jeff. I know that came off really fast but that’s all that happened.

Saturn goes out to a Twist of Fate and it’s Dean vs. Matt and Lita. Terri gets speared down by Lita and Malenko gets Matt with a rollup. This makes sense as they’re the most important people to this angle. She uses her lucha stuff to try to get a quick pin but she’s in over her head here. Dean punches her in the chest and hits a top rope suplex to more or less end her. He pulls her up though and I have a feeling I know where this is going. Never mind as the Cloverleaf ends it. Lita says she knows she can beat him.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this should have been Dean vs. Lita without the other four guys. I guess they were ok and at least they went out without having it to mean much. This wasn’t much though but it was fast paced enough to get something decent going. It’s cool to see Lita put up a fight against a man though which was one of the major points here.

We’ll wrap it up with a tag match from Insurrextion 2001.

Dean Malenko/Terri/Perry Saturn vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly/Molly Holly

Uh…yeah. See what I mean when I say these cards had a tendency to feel thrown together? Terri is someone I rarely get the appeal of. Ah ok Terri isn’t going to wrestle. Got it. Yeah I don’t care either. The Hollies get a pop. Dang Molly’s looks are underrated when she’s a blonde. Molly of course beats up Terri for a bit to a big pop.

Ok so it’s Hardcore and Saturn to start. Paul calls Saturn the Bald Bombshell. I like it. Dear lord help me I like it. Cole’s voice sounds a bit horse. Dang it what is the deal with the air horns over there? They’re freaking annoying! Saturn is fun to watch but he’s a bit nuts. For the second time in the match we’re told he’s a machine. Ok good to know. Molly is on the apron even though she’s not in this match that I know of. Crash is freaking OVER. What the heck ??? Terri breaks up a pin and we get a catfight. Saturn hits the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Crash to get the pin. Only in wrestling would that make sense.

Rating: D. Again, what in the world was this? It’s just a random match that made no sense and was just there. It’s not particularly good but it’s a good bit bad. This was just a waste of time but I guess they had to pad the two hour and twenty minute show somehow. You would think they would have something better for the Radicalz at this point.

Dean Malenko was never going to be a World Champion but he was a very solid midcard hand who piled up a big share of titles. He could wrestle with anyone but his serious character could only carry him so far. The ladies’ man thing never worked but did give us Lita in some great looking white lingerie so I’m eternally grateful. The guy was talented and could wrestle a great match, especially with someone his size.

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Monday Nitro – March 22, 1999: Get the Coffin Ready

Monday Nitro #181
Date: March 22, 1999
Location: Club LeVela, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

It’s Spring Break Out and things are kind of fresh for me as well. I did every show so far this month in the span of a week so this is my first WCW in weeks. That might be the best thing possible as WCW is getting harder and harder to take. However, it seems like we’re setting up a fourway between Flair, Goldberg, Hogan and Nash, which sounds pretty awesome actually. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Flair ranting about how awesome he is as champion and boss, affirming his heel turn and setting up the four way standoff from last week. It still doesn’t look like Flair walked out.

The pool setting is always cool.

We see clips of the threeway hardcore match at Uncensored. I have no idea why as it has nothing to do with the opening match.

Bull Payne vs. Van Hammer

Payne is a bald guy in leather and Hammer is a hippie. Hammer takes him into the corner to start and we’re already getting a BORING chant. A shoulder block and baseball slide put Bull on the floor and they try to throw each other in the water. Back in and Payne headbutts Hammer a few times as Tenay shills his Hotline. A double clothesline puts both guys down before Hammer is sent to the floor for another clothesline. Payne gets two off a frog splash but walks into a cobra clutch slam and the Flashback (whip spinebuster) for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, this is how they decided to use their hour advantage on Raw. The match was really dull stuff too as I have no idea who Payne was and I have almost no reason to care about Hammer. This was a Saturday Night match but instead it’s the opening contest on Nitro. It’s becoming more and more obvious why this company is falling through the floor.

Video of Mysterio winning the Cruiserweight Title last week in a great match.

Mysterio is here live and talks about how much he loves this party town. Kidman can have a rematch at Spring Stampede.

Clip of the Miss Nitro contest. Buff Bagwell and Saturn are judges.

Music video on the beach stuff.

Disco Inferno, in an intertube, doesn’t like this town because a girl in a wet t-shirt contest was heavier than he was. The interviewer (Ricky Rachman, the guy doing all the Spring Break stuff tonight) doesn’t care for Disco’s video so here it is again. A match is made for Spring Stampede.

Video on Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell splitting up.

Finlay goes to see Rick Steiner and they want to fight tonight. This lasted eight seconds.

Video on the four way staredown and main event tag match from last week.

Goldberg did some stuff with NASCAR this week.

Hak interrupts the Goldberg package and wants to be known as “Hardcore Hak: the King of Extreme.” If the fans think Goldberg is extreme, he’ll show you extreme tonight.

60 seconds with Goldberg.

WCW is returning to QVC (home shopping network) with special guest Sting.

Psychosis/Silver King/El Dandy/La Cucharacha vs. La Parka/Damien/Lizmark Jr./Super Calo

Tenay isn’t sure who Cucharacha is, though he’s in a Konnan flannel shirt. I think you can figure it out from here. Cucharacaha starts with La Parka and everything breaks down just a few seconds in. Dandy and Silver King nail a double dropkick before it’s off to Psychosis for a guillotine legdrop and two. La Parka comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and everything breaks down again. We wind up with Damien throwing Dandy around until it’s a standoff.

Back to Cucharacha vs. Calo with the newcomer getting kicked in the face. Lizmark comes in and misses a splash in the corner, allowing King to chop him over and over. Lizmark misses a moonsault and gets superkicked as Tony says they’re missing a lot of their moves. King is knocked outside for a big plancha from Lizmark. La Parka and Psychosis throw themselves to the floor and Calo dives onto Psychosis for good measure. Back in and literally everyone but La Cucharacha misses a dive until La Cucharacha Stuns all of his opponents and pins Damien.

Rating: D+. This was odd indeed with the missing sequence being the big moment at the end. Why in the world would you have a bunch of guys look inept for the sake of a comedy angle? I’m sure you can guess who was under the mask but why do that when he’s already got a story going on?

It’s Disco Inferno if that wasn’t clear.

Video on the Mr. Nitro competition.

Regular opening for hour #2.

Nitro Girls.

Flair and JJ were outside earlier today and Flair wants to wrestle tonight. He’s going to challenge the entire company in a lottery style drawing. Ric whispers to JJ to put in a lot of cruiserweights.

Dusty Rhodes is now a consultant and doesn’t think much of Flair’s recent actions. After the issues with Bischoff, Flair promised to make Dusty Rhodes the Commissioner of WCW. Then it became him replacing Larry Zbyszko but that didn’t happen either. Maybe Dusty should have replaced Mike Tenay, but that was another oversight. Dusty calls himself a rap master and says Flair is eating off a table that Dusty set. Flair may be commissioner, but Dusty is still the bull of the woods.

Gene brings out Flair but before the champion can get anywhere, Raven of all people interrupts and asks for a title shot. Flair almost immediately grants a title shot, but makes it Raven/Kanyon vs. Benoit/Malenko for the Tag Team Titles. Kanyon isn’t here tonight so Raven says he’ll beat them himself. That was very abrupt. Flair keeps going and says he’ll put everyone’s name in a hat and draw out a name for a World Title shot.

The announcers recap the top stories.

Rick Steiner vs. Fit Finlay

I believe this was supposed to be hardcore but it isn’t announced as such. They fight up against the ropes to start with Finlay nailing him with some uppercuts. Steiner takes him down to the mat with ease and tries to wrap Finlay up, only to have Fit roll to the ropes. A nerve hold has Rick in trouble and we take a break. Back with a slow motion slugout until Finlay cranks on Rick’s arms. Rick is sent to the floor and pounded in the chest, followed by a top rope ax handle back in the ring. There’s almost no effect though as Rick comes back with a Steiner Line and a belly to belly, followed by the Steiner Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: C-. Better match than I was expecting here but nothing all that great. At the end of the day, this had the same problems that Nitro had with almost every show has at some point or another: why should I care? They built this up with both guys saying they were tougher and then we see them fight for four minutes in a nothing match. That’s the best they can do? I see no reason to care about this and the match was nothing all that special.

Nitro Girls.

Vampiro vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy chops away to start before nailing a nice headscissor takeover. Something like an AA takes Juvy down and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two. Guerrera sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back to this very slow match with Vampiro chopping in the corner and backdropping him out to the floor. A belly to belly gets two on Juvy and Vampiro cranks on his leg for a bit to no effect.

Vampiro hits a nice helicopter bomb but misses a twisting moonsault instead of covering. Juvy misses a springboard legdrop but pops up and slams Vampiro down. Vampiro crotches him to break up the 450, setting up a gutwrench superplex for two. It doesn’t matter all that much as Juvy nails a wicked Juvy Driver for the pin.

Rating: D+. The more I see of Vampiro the more I wonder what I was thinking back in the day. He doesn’t hold up and seems to not care in the ring for the most part. It takes a lot to drag Guerrera down at this point but Vampiro did it. Maybe he’ll get better when he gets some mic time, but this really didn’t do it for me.

Rachman brings out the winner of Miss Nitro: Julie Williams, some college chick who isn’t all that great looking. She doesn’t know how to talk but the NWO comes out with its own army of women in swimsuits. They chase Rachman off and say it’s time for the NWO Miss Spring Break contest. There’s a woman missing so Hogan does some counting. The fans want tops removed, but Nash says he can’t because it’s too cold. He asks for the eighth woman to come out and here are David Flair and Samantha.

She takes off her dress and of course blows away every other girl in the ring. Rachman is brought back in and introduces Miss Nitro again, but Nash wants him to announce a Miss NWO. When he won’t Nash loads him up for the Jackknife but gives him one more chance. Rachman immediately picks Samantha (Nash: “Sable eat your heart out.”) and this finally ends.

Goldberg vs. Hardcore Hak

Hak hammers him out to the floor to start but Goldberg no sells left hands back inside. Another leverage move sends Goldberg outside again for more punching but Goldberg slaps on a cross armbreaker back in the ring. That goes nowhere so Hak brings in the weapons, which only seem to tick Goldberg off. The Russian legsweep is easily countered and it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin. This was typical Goldberg.

Gene brings out Bret Hart for a chat. Bret talks about being upset over losing his reputation. He’s been here over a year and he’s already sick and tired of people like Flair sticking his nose in Bret’s business. Okerlund brings up a possible match with Hogan but Bret doesn’t think it’s ever going to happen.

Gene tries Kevin Nash instead, but Bret says he’s proven he can beat Nash for years now. With those names going nowhere, Gene suggests Goldberg. Bret accuses Goldberg of never being in the ring with a real technical wrestler. He wants Goldberg to get in the ring with him one time and says he could beat Goldberg in five minutes. This is already more interesting than anything else Bret has done in WCW.

Nitro Girls, dressed as male wrestlers for some reason.

Horace vs. Vincent

From what I can tell, Raw was airing Rock vs. Mankind at this time. Vincent says Horace is just a nephew, earning him a forearm to the face. Horace hiptosses him out to the floor and a big boot puts him right back outside again. Back in and Vincent grabs a quick neckbreaker for two, only to walk into another big boot. Stevie Ray comes out as Vincent and Horace ram heads. Ray shoves Horace into a small package, giving Vincent the pin.

Rating: D-. This story was fun for awhile but now it’s just another boring string of matches that keeps going with no end in sight. Stevie won the bad match at Uncensored to become the boss and now that just doesn’t mean anything. This isn’t entertaining anymore. Now it’s just one more reason to change the channel to Raw.

Brian Adams comes out and yells at Ray post match.

It’s time for the drawing for the World Title shot later in the night. The wrestlers are around the pool with numbered cards. JJ pulls out #23 and it’s that jam up guy El Dandy. However, Dandy is hurt so he gives his card to Rey Mysterio Jr. Flair says Rey isn’t in this because he’s a champion and yells at JJ for screwing up. Rey won’t leave so Flair says this is at his own risk. Mysterio will get a shot later tonight.

Video on the Horsemen, set to the Hardcore Holly’s music. I’ve heard that in several packages before so it must be public domain.

Tag Team Titles: Raven vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven is going this alone. Thankfully the Horsemen didn’t leave after being in the ring before the commercial and stomp Raven as he comes in. It’s officially Benoit starting but Malenko quickly comes in for a double spinebuster. Dean puts on the Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring but lets it go for no apparent reason. Benoit comes back in and hooks the Crossface but lets it go as well.

A powerbomb/top rope clothesline combo knocks Raven senseless but Saturn walks down to the ring and gets in the champions’ faces. He suplexes Benoit and Malenko but Benoit breaks up the Rings of Saturn. Things settle down with Dean nailing a leg lariat on Saturn before bringing Benoit in for some chops. The Horsemen keep control with a snap suplex from Benoit and a chinlock from Dean.

A double back elbow drops Saturn but Raven gets up and starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Saturn rolls through the Crossface into the Rings of Saturn, drawing in Dean with a belt, but Raven nails him with the other belt. The bell rings and the fans think it’s a submission but the referee says it’s a DQ for the belt shot.

Rating: C-. The match was entertaining but it really doesn’t make the new champions look all that great. Then again this is WCW where they turned the World Champion and Tag Team Champions heel about a month after they were the hottest acts in the company because….why did they do that again? Anyway this should set up a rematch at Spring Stampede.

We recap the Miss NWO contest earlier and I can’t complain about Samantha in a swimsuit.

Video of Flair stripping Scott Hall of the US Title and announcing a tournament. We also get clips of Meng beating Bam Bam Bigelow in the first match on Thunder.

US Title Tournament First Round: Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho

This has potential even though it’s heel vs. heel. Jericho comes out wearing a sash with Japanese writing on it. Steiner shoves him around with ease to start before dropping to his knees to pose. He takes too long though as Jericho pops up and springboard dropkicks Steiner out to the floor.

Jericho goes outside though and is sent into the steps for his efforts to give Steiner control again. Back in and another missile dropkick puts Steiner down for two. Jericho gets the same off a middle rope back elbow followed by the Lionsault for the third straight two. Steiner easily counters the Liontamer and hits Jericho low, setting up the Recliner for the submission.

Rating: C-. Much better match than I was expecting, even though it was clear Jericho’s soul died about two months ago. I can’t blame him for leaving when he did as WCW wasn’t going to do anything with him. Steiner didn’t seem particularly motivated here either, but the action wasn’t half bad.

WCW World Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ric Flair

I’ll only refer to Flair as champion. Rey offers a handshake but Flair tells him to get out of here. Feeling out process to start until Rey trips him up and nails a legdrop before sending Flair into the corner. There’s the Flair Flop but Ric throwing Rey out to the floor. That goes nowhere as Rey comes back in with a dropkick and a bad looking springboard seated senton for two.

We get a chase on the floor with Arn Anderson nailing a clothesline to give Flair control. A knee drop has Rey in trouble and Flair grabs a leg for two. Rey gets two of his own off a quick rollup but Flair stomps him down in the corner. A big elbow drop sets up some right hands to Rey’s unmasked face. Rey fights back again and hits a dropkick, followed by the top rope hurricanrana, only to have Anderson pull the referee out to the floor for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was another nothing match with the guys going through the motions for about seven minutes before the lame ending. Mysterio clearly wasn’t going to win the title and Flair didn’t even go after the leg. It fits in perfectly with the theme of the night: a watchable match that meant nothing.

Flair is sent into the pool to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The show was watchable in spite of itself. As I said in the main event, there was no effort or energy put in all night. Everything interesting that happened last week was absent here in favor of one off matches that didn’t set up anything. Goldberg vs. Hart coming sounds good, but the rest of the show was meaningless, although not horrible.

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2004: That Guy I Can’t Remember

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

A year has passed but not a lot has really changed. Evolution still runs Raw but Benoit has jumped shows and is the World Champion. Over on Smackdown we have Angle in another rematch from Wrestlemania against Eddie Guerrero, although not for the title this time. John Bradshaw Layfield, now a businessman instead of a bar fighter, beat Guerrero for the title over the summer and gets to defend against Undertaker tonight. HHH on the other hand is fighting a slow guy named Eugene at the second biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is the WWE Olympic Games. It’s definitely more on the cute side than serious, but that could be said about a lot of Summerslams.

The theme song is Summertime Blues by Rush so we get some good music. The video focuses on almost all of the big matches but doesn’t give a ton of backstory.

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

This was when the Dudley Boyz were under Spike’s (Cruiserweight Champion) leadership and going to war with the Cruiserweight division for lack of regular sized tag teams to feud against. Spike recently beat Rey for the title so this is technically two feuds combined into one since London and Kidman are Smackdown tag champions. Kidman fires off forearms to D-Von to start before taking him down via an armdrag. Off to London with some more forearms and a nice dropkick for two.

Bubba cheats like a true Bully was and the bad guys take over. Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp to the ribs as the fans want tables. Bubba comes in and suplexes London down while calling him a piece of crap and threatening to beat his face in. You can’t go wrong with a loudmouthed New Yorker who can fight. Off to D-Von for a chinlock as Cole is already at two vintages less than four minutes into the match. London ducks a Bubba clothesline to knock D-Von to the floor.

An enziguri puts Bubba down and there’s the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey gets two beat on Spike in an attempt to get revenge for being put through a table. Dropping the Dime gets two on Spike and a top rope rana gets the same. Rey hits a springboard seated senton to Rey and a big facejam to D-Von. Kidman tags himself in and hits a jumping back elbow off the top (love that move) to Spike.

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here but it might have been better to split this up and give us two title matches instead. Still though, starting things off with a fast paced tag match is always a good idea as it sets the pace for the rest of the show. The good guys’ high spots were more than enough to fire up the crowd and the show is off to a fast start, which is the goal of an opener.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Matt’s girlfriend Lita slept with Kane to keep him from destroying Matt but got pregnant as a result. The solution? A match to determine who Lita has to marry of course. What else would it have been?

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

We get to see Lita in something resembling a dress which is a rare visual. This is called a Til Death Do Us Part match which I guess is similar to the Love Her Or Leave Her match in 1999, but I’m pretty sure it’s a standard one on one match. Matt jumps Kane from the opening bell and hits a running clothesline in the corner. The Side Effect gets two and kane is sent to the apron. A middle rope Fameasser brings Kane back inside and a nearly botched tornado DDT gets two.

Matt pounds on Kane in the corner as this is completely one sided so far. As soon as I say that, Kane comes back with a huge uppercut to lay Matt out. Kane chokes away both on the mat and in the corner before staring at Lita. Kane misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor so Matt can hit a big dive. A Twist of Fate on the floor has Kane in trouble but there’s no count on the floor. Kane sits up and gets back in at nine so Matt goes back to the stomping.

Lita slides in the ring bell and distracts the referee long enough for Matt to knock Kane silly for two. Back up and Hardy has to fight out of a chokeslam bid but gets caught by a big boot to the face. Kane goes up top but gets crotched, sending Matt up for a top rope DDT. You don’t go up top with Kane though as he grabs Matt by the throat and a top rope chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This was short but fun while it lasted. Matt was working hard out there but he was just up against too much. The top rope chokeslam looked good too with Matt bouncing off the canvas. Kane was good as a ruthless monster like this and the evil smiles helped a lot. Lita’s early days as a heel were fun give what was coming for her in the coming years.

Randy Ortno says tonight is about the rise of a new star, but someone stops him in his tracks. John Cena shows up and takes the spotlight from Orton and offers to hook Orton up with his own merchandise. Cena polls the audience and they don’t think he’s winning the title tonight. He’s still in the full on rapper mode but he’s clearly working as hard as he can at it which is what gets you noticed. Orton doesn’t care what the people think because he’s winning the title tonight.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Booker is US Champion but this is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, meaning the belt isn’t on the line here. Cena won the title at Wrestlemania but was stripped of it by then GM Kurt Angle with Booker winning it a few weeks later. They slug it out in the middle of the ring to start until Cena gets two off a hard clothesline. Booker elbows out of a hammerlock and chops away but another clothesline puts him down.

Cena hits the Throwback for two but Booker crotches him on the top and knocks Cena out to the floor to take over. Back in and Booker fires off a hook kick to the jaw and drops a knee to the head. The side kick (called a spin kick by Cole despite a lack of spinning) puts Cena down and it’s off to a quickly broken camel clutch. Booker stops Cena’s comeback and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and gets two off a quick small package before avoiding the ax kick. John makes his comeback with his usual array of strikes, only to get caught in a facejam, setting up the Spinarooni…..but Booker walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much and it’s kind of stupid to have the first match of a best of five series here. The whole thing wouldn’t end until October, dragging the idea out WAY too long. It wasn’t bad but this felt like it could have been on any given episode of Smackdown. Also did we really need to have the champion lose clean in less than seven minutes?

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, brags about the best of 5 series idea to himself. Eric Bischoff comes in (Teddy: “Hey it’s the head cracker that runs Raw.”) and laughs at Smackdown for having so many GM’s. He thinks Teddy will be out of a job by Survivor Series. This is being written nearly nine years later and Teddy is still kicking around on Smackdown and has been GM on and off the entire time. Anyway Long says he’d love to take Bischoff’s nephew Eugene to Smackdown and making him a huge star. Apparently that offer is good for anyone sick of Bischoff’s nonsense.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Edge is defending and Batista has been destroying everyone left and right leading up to this with a big running clothesline. Batista jumps Edge during his entrance but Jericho is quickly on Big Dave. The fans are surprisingly behind Jericho despite us being in Edge’s hometown. Batista starts firing off the shoulder blocks in the corner and catches a cross body in a powerslam to put Jericho down. Edge comes in just in time to break up the Batista Bomb with Jericho going to the floor.

Batista drops Edge face first on the buckle with snake eyes but Jericho breaks up the big clothesline. Edge dropkicks Batista to the floor……and is booed out of the building. Odd indeed. He joins the challengers on the floor and sends Batista shoulder first into the steps as the fans say they want Christian. Instead they get a battle of the Canadians in the ring with Jericho being the HUGE favorite. Edge takes over and the booing begins again.

Jericho counters the Edgecution into a Walls attempt but Edge counters that into a small package for two. Edge rolls through a cross body for two but now the Walls go on full. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes and Edge is in big trouble but Batista makes the last second save. He sends Jericho into the post but gets caught by a tornado DDT from Edge for two.

Chris is back up just in time to break up the spear to Batista, because why would you want the monster taken down? Batista hits the spinebuster on Jericho for two as Edge saves. He escapes a spinebuster from Batista as well before getting two on a rollup to Jericho. Jericho makes another comeback on Edge with the fans entirely behind him. The bulldog takes Edge down but he has to dropkick Batista down, allowing Edge to spear his fellow Canadian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This came off like a forced heel turn for Edge and the full turn would be coming very soon. Jericho being the big favorite was only somewhat surprising as he was a native countryman but you would expect Edge to have been a bit popular there. The match was nothing special but the idea was to keep Batista down which is a nice rub for him and his time was coming soon.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie beat Angle at Wrestlemania to retain the title and then Angle’s neck legitimately gave out so he was made GM. Angle then made the decision that cost Eddie the title (the right call actually) and then screwed him over in the rematch, setting up the second match here.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Technical stuff to start with Eddie actually surviving on the mat. The fans are almost entirely behind Angle but it’s Eddie going for the ankle. When that gets him nowhere it’s off to a headlock instead but you know Angle isn’t going to stand for that very long. He hooks a keylock on Eddie’s arm but Eddie gets out with a fireman’s carry. Off to an armbar by Guerrero but Angle spins out, only to be caught in the ankle lock in the middle of the ring.

Kurt finally rolls over and rakes the eyes to escape before hooking an Angle Slam for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock is locked on Eddie, only to have him counter into another one of his own. Kurt counters THAT into his second ankle lock but Guerrero makes it to the ropes. Angle’s heavy Luther Reigns gets in a cheap shot and Kurt goes right back to the hold but Eddie makes another rope.

Back in the middle of the ring and Angle hooks a very modified STF as the mat work continues nonstop. Kurt goes to a regular leg lock and starts taking off Eddie’s boot which is what cost him the Wrestlemania match. Off to a chinlock with a leg trap but Eddie fights up and gets a jawbreaker and an Angle Slam of his own. Yeah Kurt LOVED the whole stealing finishers bit.

Back up and Eddie fires away as his boot is almost off. The Three Amigos put Angle down but he pops up and runs the corner to suplex Guerrero down before the frog splash. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT but the frog splash misses. Now the Angle Slam connects for two (duh) and the fans are behind Guerrero. Angle rips Eddie’s boot off and the ankle lock goes on again, but this time Eddie rolls through, sending Kurt into the referee.

A boot shot to the head puts down both Angle and Reigns but Eddie throws the boot down and drops to the mat like a good cheater. The frog splash gets two and the fans changes sides again. Eddie complains to the referee and the ankle lock goes on again, this time forcing the tap out.

Rating: B. This was entertaining but it felt like it skipped a few gears. The seven straight minutes of mat work were good but when you go from that into the traditional main event style it’s kind of a big jump. Angle looked good out there but Eddie really didn’t do much. It felt like we were just waiting on Angle to finally catch him and then he did to end the match.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. Rock saved Eugene from an attack but Eugene said HHH was his favorite wrestler. HHH used this to his advantage and made Eugene an honorary member of Evolution. Flair: “It’ll kill our gimmick!” HHH said it was just to get the title back but Eugene wound up costing HHH his rematch against Benoit, leading to the Evolution beatdown. This led to HHH destroying Eugene’s friend William Regal, setting up HHH vs. Eugene tonight. You know, HHH, the multi-time world champion against a slow guy who learned to wrestle watching TV.

HHH vs. Eugene

They slug it out to start and HHH stomps him into the corner. Eugene comes back with an elbow to the face and a backdrop, sending HHH rolling to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts HHH down and the booing begins. As in people are booing Eugene. This sounds like a good time for a sidebar.

For those of you that weren’t around in 2004, Eugene was easily the most over guy on the roster for a few weeks. I mean his music would play and the crowd would just explode, no matter what city they were in. Even I was a big fan of the guy. He was such a fun and innocent character that it was almost impossible to not like him. It was so goofy to see him doing Stunners and Rock Bottoms and stuff Junk Yard Dog did back in the day because it was like watching a five year old wrestle. Then one night he was shown in a gym beating William Regal in a chain wrestling contest, making him even more popular.

In other words, the Eugene character was a full on success. This is where WWE screwed everything up. Instead of just letting Eugene be what he was and make occasional appearances to pop the crowd (or open house show matches beating some annoying heel), they pushed it too far. The minute they put him in a story about the world title with main event level guys, it was all over.

At the end of the day, that’s just not what the people wanted Eugene to be. They wanted it to be fun and silly so they could have a good time with it, but WWE tried to make it serious, completely killing the joke. As soon as you tell fans that Eugene’s character has a problem, you’re no longer laughing at a guy who does goofy things but rather you’re laughing at a slow guy, which no one wants to do.

This lead to the fans not wanting to watch Eugene anymore, because he really was just a guy doing a bunch of random wrestling moves and had no business being at this level (Note that Nick Dinsmore, the guy that portrayed Eugene is a very talented wrestler. His character was what didn’t belong here, not Dinsmore himself. BIG difference). When you try to force the fans to like something in a way they don’t want to, it’s going to blow up in a hurry. The lesson to be learned: don’t make the audience go somewhere they don’t want to go, because at the end of the day they make the decisions, not the company.

So anyway HHH hides behind Lillian to get the advantage and rams Eugene into the barricade before heading back inside for some stomping. He loads up the announce table but Eugene suplexes him back in to block. Eugene pounds away back inside but HHH sends him to the floor. Back in and HHH hits some backbreakers after suckering Eugene in after faking an injury. Eugene comes back so HHH begs off again, only to be pulled into a Rock Bottom and a People’s Elbow, with the latter being pulled into a spinebuster from HHH.

They head outside again with HHH sending him into the steps, busting Eugene’s shoulder open. Back inside and HHH continues toying with him before hooking a sleeper. Eugene shakes his finger at two arm drops before powering up and pounding away. He Hulks Up, catches the boot and does the Austin version of the finger in the face before hitting a Stunner. Back to the floor (again?) and here’s Flair.

Eugene hits the big boot and legdrop for two but has to deck Flair. A Pedigree is countered into a catapult and Eugene hits one of his own but it’s Flair making the save. Flair trips Eugene and gets ejected, drawing out Regal to knock Flair out cold. The distraction lets HHH hit the Pedigree for the pin on Eugene.

Rating: D-. Let’s recap: it took fourteen minutes and help from Flair for HHH to beat a slow guy. On the other hand, we had to sit through fourteen minutes of HHH vs. a slow guy and HHH had to sell most of the offense. AT SUMMERSLAM! This was the death of the Eugene character, even though he would win the tag titles with Regal soon after this. Somehow he went on THREE MORE YEARS, which is remarkable after how stupid this match was.

Now let’s waste more time with Divas Dodgeball, which is exactly what it sounds like. This is taking place at a basketball practice facility so you know the live crowd is THRILED. It’s good looking girls basically in swimsuits and another team in uniforms. This is beneath me and that’s all there is to it. It’s the main roster Divas vs. the Diva Search girls and after about five minutes of intros we get to the two minute game. The Diva Search girls dominate and win.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

No real story here other than Taker has to get a title shot at one PPV a year. They quickly head to the floor and taker has to glare JBL’s goon Orlando Jordan down before punching the champion in the face. Back inside but JBL punches his way out of Old School. A neckbreaker puts Taker down and a side slam gets two. Jibbles hits a top rope shoulder for two more but Taker pulls him down with an armbar of all things.

Now Old School connects and a downward spiral gets two before Taker cranks on a triangle choke. Back up and they trade big boots but Taker has to knock Jordan off the apron. JBL takes him down and wraps the leg around the post before cracking the ankle with a chair. The bad knee is rammed into the announce table and we head back inside with JBL busting out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things.

Off to a side leg lock but Taker quickly counters into a half crab. Taker switches over to a knee bar and the fans are loudly booing. Back up and Taker punches him out to the floor with a big right hand going into JBL’s jaw. The fans want the Spanish table but get the apron leg drop and more standing around. Back in and JBL gets punched off the top, setting up an Undertaker superplex but JBL goes right back to the knee to take over. He tries a spinning toehold but gets caught by the throat.

Taker hits a spinebuster of all things for two and the fans are counting down to something. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down but Taker’s knee is bothering him. A Snake Eyes and big clothesline combination gets two on the champion. The chokeslam connects but JBL gets a shoulder up to surprise the crowd. Here comes the tombstone but Taker has to get rid of Jordan again, allowing the Clothesline to put the dead man down for two.

Now the fans are behind Undertaker as he pounds away in the corner. There goes the referee and a double big boot puts both guys down. Jordan throws in the title so JBL can knock Taker out but even with Jordan picking up the referee’s hand it’s only good for two. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL hit a second Clothesline for no cover. He pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride but there’s STILL no referee. A delayed cover gets two and here’s Jordan for the 4th time but Taker knocks the title out of his hand, decks JBL with it, and gets caught for the LAME disqualification.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse matches but the ending dragged it into the ground. This needed about five minutes taken away and added to the previous match to make the best out of everything. The match just went WAY too long and they had to repeat things so many times that the fans were chanting for the table instead of the match. This would be a repetitive pattern for JBL matches for the next eight months or so. Also what happened to Taker’s leg injury after about ten minutes in?

Taker chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limousine for revenge and to fill in some time. JBL does a stretcher job.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Overall Rating: D. This show really wasn’t all that good. You have two good matches out of eight on the card (faces being 2-6 on this show didn’t help things) with Angle vs. Guerrero having been done better at Wrestlemania and Benoit vs. Orton being done again the next night on Raw. Undertaker vs. JBL would go on for a few more months while Benoit would drop out of the title scene. Orton’s push would be stopped cold as HHH would beat him for the title a month later and hold onto it until April because that’s what HHH does. This isn’t a good show though and is one of the worst Summerslams in a long time.

Ratings Comparison

Dudleys vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Original: B

Redo: C

John Cena vs. Booker T

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Batista

Original: C

Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: C-

Redo: B

HHH vs. Eugene

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Original: A

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

What was I thinking on that Undertaker match?

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Uncensored 1999 (2014 Redo): SuperBrawl Part II: This Time With 48% Less Suck!

Uncensored 1999
Date: March 14, 1999
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 15,930
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s SuperBrawl Part II with a lot of rematches from that horrible show. In this case the main event is Hogan vs. Flair for the title in a barbed wire cage match with an added stipulation that hasn’t been mentioned on TV yet. We’ve also got Nash vs. Mysterio to blow off the giant killer story, Benoit/Malenko vs. Windham/Hennig for the Tag Team Titles and Sonny Onoo/Ernest Miller vs. Jerry Flynn. That match is happening but Goldberg, Diamond Dallas Page and Bret Hart aren’t on the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the main event. At least it’s different than the “building the cage” video.

Tony finally tells us the stipulation in the cage match: first blood. Just in case a barbed wire cage wasn’t enough for you.

Call the Hotline!

Video on Mysterio vs. Nash.

Cruiseweight Title: Kidman vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This is Mikey’s debut and he’s challenging. Mikey grabs an early front chancery followed by a fast headscissors. Kidman comes right back with a dropkick to put Mikey outside, followed by a whip into the barricade. Back in and a high cross body gets two but Whipwreck sends him back out to the floor. A wheelbarrow slam sends Kidman face first onto the barricade and gets Mikey two back in the ring.

Off to an Indian Deathlock on the champion but Mikey rolls over onto his stomach and reaches back to grab Kidman’s chin at the same time. That goes nowhere and draws a lot of booing so Kidman comes back with a hard clothesline. He’s all fired up now and stomps on Mikey in the corner, only to have a Fameasser countered into a powerbomb for two. Back up and Mikey gets knocked to the floor again, setting up a huge dive from Kidman.

It’s Whipwreck up first and he nails a slingshot clothesline for two. He tries a slingshot suplex but Kidman counters into a snap suplex of his own. Cool move. Mikey sends him right back to the floor but misses a dive and hits the barricade. They whip each other into the barricade with the newcomer getting the better of it and taking Kidman back into the ring.

A gutbuster gets two for Mikey but he walks into the BK Bomb for another two. Mikey drops him with a neckbreaker and gets a nice near fall off a top rope clothesline. Kidman comes back with a sitout Pedigree but gets caught in a reverse inverted DDT. Like every other challenger though, Mikey tries a powerbomb and I think you know what’s coming. Kidman goes up and nails the Shooting Star to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a good match but needed to be about three minutes shorter. Even though the cruiserweight division was stacked at this point, I like the idea of bringing in Mikey. He wrestled a much more ground based style than most of the other people in the division so this was a little different. Also Kidman has beaten almost every cruiserweight in the division so he needed a new challenger.

Stevie Ray talks about not being yoked anymore.

Vince says the name is Vince.

Remember the video on the cage being built from the start of the show? Here’s another version of it. This one aired on Nitro to make us want to buy the show that we had to buy to see the video that should make us buy the show.

Vince vs. Stevie Ray

This is a Harlem Street Fight and the winner leads the Black and White. In other words, all the stuff with Norton, Adams and Horace was a waste of time and has been dropped. Vince’s graphic still says Vincent, even though the video before the match emphasized his new name. Whatever his name is, he stomps on Ray’s foot and pokes him in the eye to take over. Stevie lifts him in the air by the throat before they hit the floor.

Vince is whipped into the barricade and they fight into the crowd. Luckily there’s a tarped off section of folded down seats for them to fight in. Stevie can barely stand on the chairs as he beats up Vince. Tony actually covers the bunch of unsold seats by saying it’s a production area. Back in and Vince slams him down and gets two off a middle rope elbow. He goes up again but dives into Stevie’s boot.

Stevie sends him into the buckle before lunging forward for a horrible collision spot before Vince does a HORRIBLE fall into a low blow. Stevie doesn’t even react off the impact. Horace comes out and throws in a slapjack, saying he’s the leader no matter what. Vince gets it but drops it, allowing Stevie to hit the Slapjack (lifting Pedigree) for the pin.

Rating: D-. This stuff is entertaining when they keep it short but when it’s a seven minute match, it loses its charm in a hurry. Stevie winning is the right choice as he’s the best talker of the team, but he’s the better of multiple evils. At least they’re keeping the Black and White separate and making it clear they’re a lower level unit. The street fight aspect barely meant a thing given that low blows have pretty much been made legal in WCW.

Jericho says Saturn doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring with him.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash

Rematch from Nitro a few weeks back where Rey beat Nash. A big boot to the face puts Rey down to start but he comes back with the sitout bulldog and a springboard Fameasser. Mysterio sends him to the floor with a spinwheel kick but makes the mistake of trying a baseball slide, allowing Nash to sidestep him and send Rey into the barricade.

Back in and Nash hits the framed elbow and boots Rey back to the floor. Nash lifts him into the air by the throat for an atomic drop but Rey kicks him low because what else was he supposed to do? There’s the Bronco Buster but Rey’s moonsault press is caught in midair. Rey escapes but Luger trips him up, allowing Nash to kick him in the face and Jackknife him back to the cruiserweight division. Appropriately enough, the match ran 6:19.

Rating: D+. So what did we learn here? Don’t mess with the main event talent, the last few weeks were a total fluke, and Rey Mysterio has no business in the main event scene. Also Konnan is a horrible friend because he wasn’t out there when Rey had to deal with Nash, Luger and Liz. I’m so glad Nash got to beat up Rey Mysterio though. It makes him look so much more awesome than he did before.

The three guys in the hardcore match talk about how tough they are. Again, we saw this earlier in the week on TV.

Jerry Flynn vs. Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo

Let’s get this over with. Miller comes out to the Glacier lasers and the James Brown music while wearing a cowboy hat. Tony gets in his only good line of the night: “It’s the Cat in the Hat!” Flynn chops Miller down to start but goes after Sonny for cutting off his ponytail. Miller gets in a cheap shot as Schiavone talks about how Flynn could be a top five (he was OBSESSED with this top five thing around this time) star in the next year.

They head outside with Miller kicking Flynn down and Sonny gets in a few cheap shots. Back in and Miller hits some more kicks before tagging in Sonny to pick the bones. Flynn grabs at the foot so Onoo dives back to the corner. Back outside and Miller tries to use a chair but Mickie Jay pulls it out of his hands. Miller kicks Jerry some more but gets rolled up for two. Sonny finally comes in, gets kicked once and Jerry pins him.

Rating: F. Thankfully this was it for Flynn’s push as he went back to jobbing where he belonged soon after. This is another example of WCW having no idea what their fans wanted and thinking it was ok to throwing garbage out there with a WCW logo on it. Total waste of pay per view time.

In ANOTHER video from Thunder, the teams in the Tag Team Title match talk about being smart and tough.

Raven vs. Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Hardcore match. Hak comes out with barbed wire wrapped around him to what sounds like Mongo’s old music. Hak gets double teamed to start but Raven turns on Bigelow a few seconds in. Raven’s sister Chastity brings in a dumpster full of weapons to get us to the real match. It’s Raven in control until Bigelow runs him over. He breaks an ironing board over Hak but Raven comes back with a mailbox.

Raven and Bigelow have a standoff with trashcans but Hak uses the ironing board to break it up. An ECW chant starts up and everyone is worn down less than five minutes into the match. Raven uses the ironing board again but gets whipped into some trashcans. Bigelow takes over but Raven hits him low with a rowing oar. There’s a lot of just ramming each other into various objects and WAY more standing around between spots.

We get one of the few wrestling moves of the mat as Hak hits a top rope hurricanrana to Raven. Hak brings in a very real looking table but Raven helps Bigelow powerbomb Hak onto the table, followed by a splash through it. Bigelow switches over to wrestling but Chasitity comes in to save Raven. She pulls out some electrical tape and Bigelow brings in two more tables. Bigelow is whipped mostly through one of the tables in the corner and the Even Flow lays out Hak.

Instead of covering though, Raven tapes Hak’s arms together and blasts him in the head with the chair, which is TOTALLY not ripping off Rock vs. Mankind from the Royal Rumble. Bigelow lays out Raven with Greetings From Asbury Park but Chastity sprays him with a fire extinguisher, knocking him off the top rope and through a table. Chastity then turns on Raven by spraying him in the eyes and hitting him low, giving Hak the pin.

Rating: D. To recap, the girl that we know almost nothing about turned on her brother to be with the guy that we know almost nothing about who may or may not be a former friend of her family (it’s not clear if those appearances were retconned or not) and Bam Bam Bigelow has gone from facing Goldberg on pay per view to this in three weeks. Even worse, this got FIFTEEN MINUTES.

The announcers talk for a bit as the ring is cleaned up.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

It’s a lumberjack with straps match and Hennig/Windham are defending. The lumberjacks are a bunch of lower/midcard guys including Meng and Norman Smiley. Benoit and Hennig get things going and Arn Anderson comes out to replace Chris Adams as a lumberjack. The champions try to leave and get beaten up like the cowards they are. Back in and Benoit chops Hennig to the floor for another whipping before it’s off to Barry.

Chris is find with chopping Windham to the floor as well where the Texan gets whipped as well.

Off to Dean who hammers away with more aggression than you would expect from him. The Horsemen double team Barry down but Hennig gets in a cheap shot to take over. Benoit is thrown to the floor and gets whipped a few times before it’s back to a chinlock from Curt. The beating continues but Benoit finally snaps off a German suplex and makes the tag off to Dean. Everything breaks down and Malenko hits Hennig with a PerfectPlex for two but Barry breaks up the Texas Cloverleaf.

Windham tries to low bridge Dean to the floor but Malenko stops himself, only to have Hennig knock him out to the floor for a whipping. Now it’s Dean in trouble as Curt hooks a sleeper. Dean makes the ropes but is sent to the floor for more belt shots. Windham hammers away in the corner but Dean punches his way out of a belly to back suplex. The double tag brings in Hennig and Benoit as everything breaks down.

Benoit takes off Windham’s belt and throws him outside for a brawl. Hennig goes after Anderson, earning him a tire iron shot to the head. Malenko breaks up the superplex and Benoit hits the longest Swan Dive I’ve ever see (Hennig would have been in a good place for a 450) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t as good as their first one last month but it finally got the job done. Last month’s was brought WAY down by the booking but the wrestling itself was better. This one was more of a tag team formula and that’s a hard idea to screw up. I could have done without Arn’s interference but to be fair Hennig went after him first. That Swan Dive was very impressive and I can live with it only hitting Curt’s arm as he was already out.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

This is the dog collar match and Saturn comes out wearing a dress made of chains, black lipstick, eye shadow and yellow contacts. Jericho offers to have Ralphus fight in his place but Ralphus says no, earning him a slap in the face. Back in and Jericho is very tentative to put on the collar so Saturn attacks him to get things going. He puts the collar on Chris and pulls Jericho back when he tries to run. Saturn goes to the apron and gets a running start to send Jericho face first into the buckle.

A springboard chain shot to the head puts the Canadian down and it’s time for some choking. They head outside and Saturn pulls him into the barricade a few times. Back in and a clothesline knocks Saturn over the top rope to the floor and now it’s Jericho choking a lot. They head inside again and Jericho tries a powerbomb, only to pull himself down at the same time. A small packge gets two for Saturn and he pulls Jericho off the middle rope in a smart counter. Then he makes it simple and throws Jericho around by the neck.

Jericho gets the Liontamer but Saturn wraps the chain around Jericho’s neck so the hold chokes Jericho, forcing him to break it. The Death Valley Driver onto the chain gets two and Jericho counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb. Jericho unhooks Saturn and wraps the chain around himself before going up for a moonsault. Saturn moves and the impact drives the chain into Jericho’s chest but it doesn’t seem to bother him. A top rope splash completely misses Saturn and another Death Valley Driver gets the pin.

Rating: C-. This was ok but the ending felt like it was supposed to be two minutes earlier. I’m not sure why the Death Valley Driver on the chain didn’t get the pin but the regular version could. The match wasn’t bad and hopefully it ends this dress thing which isn’t getting Saturn anywhere.

Mikey Whipwreck gives an interview on WCW.com and praises Kidman. Nothing to see here.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending because US Champion Scott Hall has disappeared, taking Booker’s title shot with him. Scott stalls a lot after the bell and we get our first lockup at two minutes into the match. A lockup goes nowhere and it’s back to the stalling. Steiner hammers Booker down but he comes back with right hands. The champion ducks a spin kick and bails out to the floor for a breather with Bagwell.

Back in and Scott charges into a boot and Booker hammers away again. An atomic drop staggers Scott again and a spinning cross body gets two as Buff pulls Booker out to the floor. Steiner throws Booker into the crowd for a bit before the villains take their turns choking. The spinning belly to belly suplex plants Booker and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Booker hits a running forearm before mostly missing a spinning kick to the face.

Booker tries a side kick but Steiner ducks. The side kick clears the referee and thankfully he doesn’t sell, but the look of fear on his face is great. Another side kick nails Steiner but Buff crotches Booker on the top. Steiner superplexes him down and Buff comes in with a chair, only to hit Scott by mistake. Booker kicks the chair into Bagwell’s face and pins Steiner for the title.

Rating: C-. Not great here but the title change is a good idea. I can’t stand the referee watching Bagwell use the chair as it should be a DQ even if it was an accident. This whole getting more extreme and lawless is very annoying as it comes off more and more like an ECW knockoff every night. At least Booker’s losses are forgiven here though.

Video on the cage being built. I have it memorized by this point.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Hogan is defending and if Flair loses, he’s out of WCW for life. If Flair wins, he’s champion and President of WCW permanently. This is also a barbed wire steel cage match with no doors on the cage. Before the cage is lowered, Flair tells the referee to not stop the match for a scratch or a trickle of blood. The referee is allowed to use his own discretion as to what first blood means. Flair is sounding very heelish here. I’m glad they threw in the significant blood clause. I’ve always thought a heel could just slip in a needle and poke the other guy for the win otherwise.

Hogan shoves him around to start and nails a right hand before running Flair over like it’s 1986. The fans have no idea how to react as Hogan does all his old spots, including dropping the rapid elbows. Flair takes a beating in the corner and Hogan no sells a single chop. A running clothesline puts Ric down and Hogan does the hand to the ear. It’s one sided so far and Hogan puts on a Figure Four.

That thankfully goes nowhere so Hogan rams him face first into the cage. Hogan bites at the cut and Flair is doing his crazy man stuff, including having his trunks pulled down. There’s a small cut above Flair’s eye and Hogan sends him face first into the buckle. Total dominance so far and the fans are chanting for Hogan. Flair’s hair is half red now and Hogan drives him into the cage. Some of the barbed wire has fallen off the top of the cage and is hanging down the side.

Hogan hits the big boot and legdrop for a cover but obviously the referee (Charles Robinson) won’t count. Flair nails Hogan with a foreign object and sends him into the cage, cutting the champion open. Cue David Flair and the Blonde (now called Sam) as Ric drops a knee on Hogan’s head. Ric spits at his son and says he’ll be a fourteen time champion. Now it’s a full Hogan chant as we have a double turn.

Ric drops an elbow for two (Tony is totally fine with a cover and count) and it’s time for the Hulk Up. The fans are into it because they haven’t see it in years but the legdrop only gets two. Tenay tries to keep up with the stipulations as Hogan no sells a suplex. Ric, the crazed father desperate for vengeance, drops to his knees and begs for mercy.

The referee gets bumped (like it matters) and David tells Hogan to Hulk Up. Arn Anderson comes out with a tire iron to David so Sam jumps on Arn’s back. Anderson throws her down and slips Ric the tire iron to knock Hogan out. There’s the Figure Four and Robinson counts the pin to give Ric the title again. The fans, trying to make sense of this whole thing, are almost silent for the announcement of a new champion.

Rating: D. I have no idea what I just watched. It was indeed a cage match, but the barbed wire meant nothing and David and Sam didn’t need to be there other than giving Anderson a reason to come down. The stipulations were a mess though and the fans seemed really confused by the blood and then the pinfalls. The rest of the match wasn’t bad though as Hogan vs. Flair using the old formula is entertaining enough.

However there’s also the booking, which is as stupid as it could have been. I can REALLY stretch and accept Ric being tormented so much that he snaps and starts abusing his authority to get the title and revenge. It’s not the best story in the world and it goes against everything that WCW had been doing for the last few months, but at least it can be done.

Then there’s Hogan turning face and it just does not work. Period. Hogan has caused all these problems for the last several years but now we’re supposed to cheer him because…..why are we supposed to cheer for him? Because he Hulked up and Flair abused his authority by stretching what a first blood match meant and used a tire iron? I’m supposed to feel bad for Hogan because he’s getting cheated in one match after cheating for two and a half years?

Basically WCW is saying two wrongs make a right and that really doesn’t work after watching Ric go through this much horrible stuff over the last few months. That really doesn’t hold up and the story doesn’t work with everything that lead us to this point. At least Flair FINALLY beat Hogan in a big match though.

David checks on Hogan and Tony praises Hollywood for his valiant effort.

Overall Rating: D. This should be subtitled “SuperBrawl Part 2: We’re Sorry.” The Tag Team Title match is a reversal of what we saw before, Booker getting the TV Title is a nice addition and Flair won….albeit in weird fashion. Unfortunately the damage was done three weeks ago and the last few weeks of television. The fans are already starting to leave and WCW is going to start to get desperate.

Now to its credit, this was WAY easier to sit through than SuperBrawl which was one of the most infuriating shows I’ve ever seen. This show had some watchable wrestling on it and nothing maddening, putting it miles ahead of last month’s offering. It’s not a masterpiece or anything, but it at least corrected some of SuperBrawl’s errors.

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2002: The Best

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

The main story coming into this show would be the Brand Split but that’s not really an issue here as the main four PPVs weren’t brand exclusive. As for the show itself it’s another double main event with Rock defending his WWE (yeah E) Title against a beast named Brock Lesnar and the returning Shawn Michaels fighting his best friend HHH in a street fight. This is considered one of the best shows of all time so hopefully it holds up. Let’s get to it.

There’s no opening video this year for some reason.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey beat Angle in a tag match and has been an annoyance for him lately. This is right after Mysterio debuted as part of probably the best year for new talent in company history. In 2002 WWE got Mysterio, Brock Lesnar, Batista, Randy Orton and a guy named Cena. This is when Rey’s knees weren’t held together by glue so it should be awesome. Rey comes in from behind and takes Angle down with a quick springboard dropkick but he has to go to the ropes to escape the ankle lock. An early 619 attempt misses and Angle pulls him to the floor. Very fast start.

Angle kicks at the leg as they come back in. An uppercut staggers Rey and a wheelbarrow suplex puts him down. Rey grabs the rope to avoid a German and gets a quick two off a rollup. Kurt gets two off a backbreaker and bends Rey’s back around the ropes. The fans are all over Angle but he shrugs off some forearms and catches a headscissors into a side slam for two.

Off to a wicked half crab on Rey but he somehow sneaks out and gets two off a rollup. Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline, only to get caught in a jawbreaker. Rey tries to speed things up but walks into the overhead belly to belly. There go the straps but Rey armdrags out of the Angle Slam and sends Angle to the floor. Rey loads up a dive but the referee stops him, drawing the most heat of the night. Mysterio will have none of that and dives OVER THE REFEREE to take Angle out.

Back in and a springboard legdrop gets two as the crowd is on fire. Rey tries a victory roll but gets caught in the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls out and send Angle to the ropes for the 619. The West Coast Pop gets a VERY close two and a spinwheel kick puts Angle down again. Mysterio goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the suplex, only to have Rey flip over him but he tweaks the ankle on the landing. He’s fine enough to pop back up and dropkick Angle on the corner though and he loads up a hurricanrana. Angle falls forward on it though and the ankle lock is good for the submission.

Rating: A-. EXCELLENT opener here with Mysterio showing he could hang with anyone in the company. He really was amazing to watch when he wasn’t banged up and bloated like he is today and this might be his best match ever. This was a great choice for an opener and both guys looked amazing.

Eric Bischoff (Raw) and Stephanie McMahon (Smackdown) agree to share the GM’s office tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Flair is a legend, Jericho is a young punk. This led to Jericho running down Flair over and over again so Flair destroyed a bunch of Jericho’s band Fozzy’s equipment as they were performing on Raw. Jericho takes him into the corner so Flair slaps him in the face. Feeling out process to start as Flair looks to be in a dancing mood tonight. A backdrop puts Flair down and a belly to back suplex does the same.

Back up and Flair hits some LOUD chops to take over. They head to the corner and it’s Jericho firing off some chops of his own to set up a Flair Flip in the corner. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and Jericho hits an elbow off the top to crush him against the barricade. Back in and Jericho fires off punches before doing a little dance. The Canadian gets two off a middle rope missile dropkick and chokes Flair with some tape. Flair fires off some chops but gets dropped by a single right hand.

Jericho goes up top but Flair pulls a page out of every opponent he’s ever had to slam him down. Chris misses a charge into the corner and Flair backdrops him down. NOW we go to school but Jericho escapes a suplex and tries the Walls. Flair rolls out but Jericho hits an enziguri to put Naitch down again.

The Lionsault misses and Flair goes back to the chops to take over. Flair tries a half crab but Jericho escapes and puts Flair in the Figure Four. Ric makes the rope but taps out anyway, which isn’t a submission apparently. There’s a rule clarification if you ever need one. The referee goes to tell the timekeeper that the match is still going, allowing Flair to hit a low blow and put on the Figure Four for the submission. Don’t bother setting up the move or anything Ric.

Rating: C. I’m sorry for not having much of note to say but it’s almost impossible to add stuff to good matches. Nice match here as Flair gets to be the dirtiest player in the game again but it wasn’t anything spectacular. Jericho was still awesome as a heel and it felt good to see Flair make a comeback and beat him in the middle of the ring. This was at a point when Flair could still look decent in a pair of trunks so it wasn’t an embarrassment at all.

Heyman gives Brock a pep talk for the main event tonight. Brock is in Rock’s head and the next big thing arrives tonight. This is when Brock was the unstoppable monster instead of being HHH cannon fodder for a year. I still can’t get over that it lasted that long.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Edge is still finding his footing as a singles guy and the potential is through the roof, so the solution is the same as it was with DDP back in 97: put him with really talented people who can make him look awesome. This resulted in Edge vs. Regal, Angle and Guerrero for about six months, making everyone love Edge like few thought possible. Apparently Eddie is jealous of Edge’s popularity and his status as a sex symbol. Cole’s words, not mine.

Technical stuff to start until Edge suplexes Eddie to the apron but gets his neck snapped across the top rope. Edge comes back with a hot shot and a standing powerslam for two before tying Eddie up in the ropes. There’s the spear to Eddie’s ribs but Eddie avoids the second attempt to send the Canadian to the floor. Edge is holding his shoulder (the spear arm) and Eddie has something to focus on. The bad shoulder goes into the steps and Edge is in trouble.

Back in and Eddie DDTs the arm before driving some elbows into the shoulder. A jumping DDT to the arm off the top gets two and it’s off to a keylock. Edge finally gets to a rope so Eddie stomps even harder on the shoulder. Now it’s a cross face chickenwing of all moves shifted into a Fujiwara Armbar. Back up and Eddie belly to back suplexes him down but stays on the arm with a top wristlock. Edge finally slams him down to get a breather and fires off some clotheslines.

The half nelson faceplant gets two and Edge suplexes Eddie to the floor. A cross body off the top to the floor puts Guerrero down but Edge injures the shoulder again. Back in and Edge goes up but has to counter a superplex into a front superplex for two on Eddie. Edge loads up the spear but Eddie dropkicks him in the shoulder to put him down.

The frog splash hits knees and there’s the Edgecution for two. Another Edgecution is countered into a northern lights and Eddie hits the frog splash onto the bad shoulder for two. Some IDIOTS are chanting boring at this. Eddie goes up again but gets slammed down allowing Edge to hit the spear (with the bad shoulder with no problem) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was chugging right along until the STUPID ending. You cannot have Eddie working over on the arm for ten minutes and then hit the finisher like it’s nothing. What’s the point in even working on the arm if that’s how you end the match? It was going fine until that point but the ending just stopped it cold, much like the spear should have done for Edge.

The Un-Americans are ready to beat Booker T and Goldust to prove that America sucks. The only bad part though is they have to do it here in Long Island. This is a classic gimmick and would work at almost any point in history.

Raw Tag Titles: Goldust/Booker T vs. Un-Americans

The Un-Americans are Lance Storm and Christian (with Test) and they have the gold coming in. Goldust and Christian start with the Canadian being run over and uppercutted down for two. Off to Storm who gets caught in an atomic drop and it’s Booker T in to fire off right hands. Booker drops a big knee for two and brings in Goldust, only to have Storm poke him in the eye to take over.

The fans chant USA like the true xenophobes they are. We get some classic heel cheating as the Canadians double team until Christian gets two off a backbreaker. Back to Storm who walks into a kind of Boss Man Slam but Christian distracts the referee so the hot tag doesn’t count. The beating continues but Goldust catapults Christian into Storm to buy himself some time.

Goldust slaps the mat to try to fire up the crowd but Storm takes out Booker again so there’s no one for Goldie to tag. The champions miss a Conchairto and NOW the hot tag goes through. Booker cleans house and lays in the chops to Christian. A missile dropkick gets two but Booker accidentally superkicks the referee. Booker hits a double ax kick to take out both champions and there’s the Spinarooni. Christian is kicked down but here’s Test with a big boot to lay out Booker, giving Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a BIG step down from what we’ve had so far tonight. The match was just dull and nothing we haven’t seen done better a hundred times. Booker and Goldust had chemistry and fan support so we had to wait four months for them to get the titles. The Un-Americans were a find midcard heel act but the titles should have changed here.

Nidia is at The World (WWF New York) and makes out with a fan for some reason.

Bischoff and Stephanie continue their stupid back and forth.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and a Smackdown guy in this brand vs. brand match. Van Dam hits some quick kicks to send Benoit to the outside but Benoit takes him down back inside. Van Dam spins away from a kick in the corner and hits a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Benoit ducks another kick and hits a great release German suplex to take over. An elbow to the face gets two more for Benoit and it’s time to work on the back.

Benoit gets another near fall off a backbreaker and a snap suplex gets the same. Off to an armbar as Benoit wants the shoulder now. Rob gets some quick twos off rollups but Benoit runs him over with another elbow to the face. Benoit runs into a boot in the corner but the split legged moonsault hits knees. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls away from the Five Star as well.

Now the Crossface goes on for a good while but Van Dam makes the ropes. The challenger goes up but Benoit shoves him off the top and shoulder first into the barricade. Back in and Benoit hits a shoulder breaker (see that people? It’s called psychology. LEARN IT!) for two as the fans are distracted by something. Benoit wisely puts on a rest hold until their attention is back again.

They trade cross arm chokes with Benoit taking over again. Van Dam kicks his leg out but misses Rolling Thunder, allowing Benoit to put on the Crossface again. Rob elbows out but gets rolled up for two. Benoit goes back to the arm and sends him shoulder first into the post. A northern lights suplex onto the arm has Van Dam….looking confused and two more don’t really change that.

Back to the Crossface and Van Dam looks more annoyed than anything else. Rob (with his hair down for maybe the only time I ever remember) makes the rope and puts a Crossface on Benoit for a few seconds. A jumping kick to the face puts Benoit down for two and now Rolling Thunder connects.

Van Dam hits a shoulder to the ribs but injures the shoulder again (thanks for selling Rob). Not that it matters though as he kicks Benoit in the face for two. Rob gets crotched on the top but counters a belly to back superplex into a cross body to put both guys down. Van Dam pops up and hits the Five Star for the pin and the title. Extra points for Rob doing the finger point from the mat when he’s announced as the new champion.

Rating: B. This bad shoulder selling is getting on my nerves. Benoit had RVD in one of the best submissions ever three different times and Van Dam looked like he had a five year old child on his leg. The rest of the match however was very solid with Rob hanging in there with Benoit who was his usual awesome self.

Stephanie, having just lost the IC Title to Raw (giving them all the belts I believe) laughs. This story continued to not make sense until they just gave up.

Video on the Un-Americans who hate American. Undertaker wasn’t going to stand for this and turned face to deal with them. Well among other reasons but this was his first major feud as a face.

Undertaker vs. Test

Feeling out process to start with Taker sending Test into the corner and cranking on the arm. A big clothesline takes Test down for two but he shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School. Test sends him into the steps and into the turnbuckle to keep Taker in trouble. A running clothesline in the corner staggers Taker and it’s off to an armbar. Taker suplexes out but misses an elbow drop as this continues to drag.

Test misses an elbow as well and now Old School connects. Snake Eyes connects but Test ducks the big boot. Taker shoves him off and hits the chokeslam for two. Christian and Storm come in as a distraction but take a chokeslam each, allowing Test to hit his big boot for two. Test tries a chair shot but hits the ropes, sending it back into his own face. The Tombstone finishes this.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible but come on. It’s Undertaker vs. Test at the second biggest show of the year with Test being as an Un-American. Did you really expect ANY other result here? The match was passable enough but it’s definitely the lame match on the show. To be fair though it’s not even nine minutes long and it’s not a disaster.

Now let’s get to the real reason this show rocks.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. They were best friends back in the late 90s but Shawn broke his back and had to retire. Over the next four years, HHH rose to the top of the company and a higher level than Shawn ever achieved. Shawn came back to Raw and offered to reform DX, but HHH laid him out, saying they were never friends and he just used Shawn.

Then someone rammed Shawn through a windshield and HHH vowed to find out who it was. Shawn found security video revealing it was HHH, who said he did it to prove Shawn is vulnerable. Shawn’s doctors said he’d make a full recovery. Say by, Summerslam? The match isn’t sanctioned and is a street fight because it couldn’t be anything else. This is a great example of a feud based on hatred instead of some convoluted idea and it made the match much better.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Shawn is in jeans tonight to hide the knee braces. Michaels comes out with right hands but HHH sends him to the outside. Not that it matters as Shawn is right back inside with more right hands. HHH is tossed to the floor and Shawn hits a nice dive to take him out. Remember that this is Shawn’s first match since March of 1998, or four and a half years ago.

A clothesline puts HHH down again and it’s garbage can time. HHH gets in a shot to the ribs and drops Shawn face first onto the barricade to get a breather. Shawn comes back in and is tossed over the top again but he skins the cat to a big pop. A trashcan shot caves in HHH’s head and a top rope fist to the head puts him down again. Shawn tunes up the band but HHH counters into a backbreaker to get to the meat of the match.

Another backbreaker has Shawn in agony and flopping like a fish as only he can. HHH gives a crotch chop and kicks Shawn down with ease. It’s chair time but a shot to the back only gets two. Shawn escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two but walks into a facebuster. A DDT onto the chair is only good for two but Shawn is busted open. HHH takes off Shawn’s belt and whips him in the back as the screaming continues.

And now it’s sledgehammer time. Shawn gets in some shots to the ribs to escape and HHH drops the hammer. The fans are behind HBK but he gets whipped into the corner and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. HHH gets caught holding the ropes and Hebner physically breaks the hold before yelling HHH into the corner. They slug it out again and HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off, only to get crotched. HHH blasts Shawn’s wide open back with the chair and the crowd is somber.

A backbreaker onto the chair has Shawn lying motionless but HHH only gets two. He covers a few more times and HHH is very frustrated. A side slam onto the chair gets another two as JR screams for a fast count. Shawn counters a Pedigree onto the chair with a low blow and both guys are down. The HBK chant starts up again and HHH has the chair superkicked into his face. Now HHH is busted open too and Shawn slugs away before hitting the forearm and the nipup to blow the roof off the place.

Shawn backdrops him down and cracks HHH in the head with the chair. HHH is whipped over the corner and out to the floor where Shawn gets to beat on him with the belt. Shawn knocks him onto the announce table and hits him in the head with Hugo Savinovich’s shoe (Lawler: “A heel for a heel!”). HHH is sent into the steps and here’s a ladder being slammed into HHH’s face.

Some shots to the ribs have HHH screaming and the ladder is placed against the post with HHH being catapulted face first into the steel. That’s only good for two so Shawn heads outside again to get the ladder. HHH baseball slides the ladder into Michaels and pounds away at the cut head. For some reason HHH tries to come in off the top and gets caught in a superplex for two.

The crowd is losing their minds off these kickouts. A sunset flip gets two for Shawn but he gets caught by the knee to the face for two. HHH brings in the steps but Shawn drop toeholds him face first into the steel. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and Shawn puls out a table. Well why not since we’ve used everything else.

Shawn puts him on the table and splashes him from the top rope in the big spot of the match. Both guys are DONE and the fans are in awe. Shawn sends the ladder back inside, says he loves us all, and drops the elbow from the top. Michaels has that look in his eye and tunes up the band but HHH catches the kick coming in. He loads up the Pedigree but Shawn sweeps the legs and rolls HHH up for the pin to blow the roof off the place again.

Rating: A+. Anyone who has read my stuff over the years knows I do not like a lot of things about HHH. For tonight, forget all that because this is one of the best matches of all time. I’ve seen this match several times and it still had me smiling to see Shawn make comeback after comeback and give HHH every single thing he deserved. It goes to show how great Shawn is as he came in after being gone nearly FIVE YEARS and does this. That’s remarkable when you think about it and is one of the greatest performances of all time.

Let’s talk about the match a little bit. It’s an excellent example of how to book a comeback, which is probably Shawn’s greatest strength. Shawn had the people believing that he was DEAD but he kept hanging in there time after time and made the huge comeback just like the crowd wanted. The other thing that works so well is the ending which a lot of people overlook.

The crux of this match was the destruction of both guys and seeing how far they could take it. At the end though, Shawn uses a basic wrestling counter and a cradle to win, totally shifting gears and beating HHH, the Cerebral Assassin, by thinking. That’s INCREDIBLE psychology and the perfect way to end this match. All in all, it’s a masterpiece and arguably the best performance of all time, all things considered.

Post match HHH becomes the universal evil by hitting Shawn square in the back with the sledgehammer and leaving him laying. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Now that we’ve had that amazing match, it’s time for something completely stupid. Howard Finkel of all people has something to say. He’s been here forever and while Major League Baseball may be going on strike, he’ll be here forever. This brings out Trish Stratus who slapped him in the face recently. Howard insults Long Island women and Trish says he has a sexy voice. He makes various references and they hug but it’s a ruse to have Lillian Garcia come in and kick Howard low.

We recap Rock vs. Lesnar. Brock is the new monster and Rock is the warrior champion and there isn’t much more to it than that. The videos of Rocky going through special training (actually for The Rundown) were pretty awesome.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar has his agent Paul Heyman with him. Rock charges into the ring and walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. Lesnar hits a pair of backbreakers for two and we head to the floor with Brock clotheslining him into the crowd. Apparently Rock has bad ribs coming into this match. Back in and Brock hits another overhead belly to belly suplex for two before dropping some elbows. A powerslam puts Rock down for two as this is one sided so far. Brock fires off some shoulder in the corner but misses a charge and hits the post.

Rock hits a belly to back suplex of his own and both guys are down. Both guys nip up at the same time and Rock isn’t sure what to think. Rock hits some clotheslines but it takes three of them to finally drop Brock. The champion hooks a Sharpshooter and Brock is in trouble. Heyman throws in a chair which distracts Rocky, allowing Lesnar to to get out and blast Rock in the ribs with the chair. Off to the bearhug which ended Hogan and takes Rock down to the mat here.

The fans are entirely behind Lesnar here which is very strange to hear. Rock doesn’t let his arm drop a third time and now we get a Rocky chant. The champion finally escapes the hold but gets a hard shoulder into the ribs to slow him down again. Rock comes out of the corner with a running clothesline and the crowd reaction is mixed at best. A series of right hands knocks Lesnar out to the floor and Rock loads up the announce table. After scaring Heyman to death, Rock launches Lesnar face first into the post.

There’s a Rock Bottom through the table for Heyman and the announcers couldn’t be happier. Back in and the Rock Bottom hits Lesnar for a VERY close two. The fans shift affiliation again, now cheering for Brock. Their current hero hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two and both guys stagger to their feet. Rock hits the spinebuster but as he loads up the Elbow, Brock pops up and hits a HUGE clothesline. Here comes the F5 but Rock escapes and tries the Rock Bottom. That and another attempt at the same move are both countered and the F5 gives Lesnar the title.

Rating: B-. The match was just ok until the very hot finish, but the last two minutes or so made up for a lot of the earlier problems. This was a great example of how to make a guy like Lesnar look like a monster. Rock left to film The Rundown immediately after this so Lesnar was the only one left standing. Great way to put Brock over here and a pretty solid match overall.

Lesnar celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. As I said this is considered one of the best shows of all time and it’s easy to see why. The main event was the start of a new era in the company, there’s a masterpiece of a match, the upper half of the card is stacked and the worst match is passable. I can’t put it as high as Wrestlemania X7 on the all time scale but the fact that it’s even in the conversations speaks volumes. This is absolutely worth seeing though and HHH vs. Shawn is must see.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – March 1, 1999: When All Else Fails, Call Some Canadians

Monday Nitro #178
Date: March 1, 1999
Location: Student Activities Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Attendance: 17,852
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

Maybe this will be a better month. With two Nitros to go until Uncensored, we don’t have anything set for the show. Given how short the time span between the shows, I’m assuming we’ll be getting a lot of rematches at Uncensored. That’s fine in theory and hopefully we get the right endings this time, but the damage has already been done. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Rick Wilson, more commonly known as the Renegade. The bell tolls in his memory.

David Flair and the Blonde are in a limousine where David plays messages from Ric, asking to see him. They play four or five messages and Ric gets more serious each time as David and the Blonde laugh. David says it’s time Ric retire. The fact that this is over fifteen years old and Ric is still running around makes my head shake.

Tony tells us that Ric has a huge announcement tonight.

Clips of Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg last week and Rick Steiner returning.

Tony thinks we’re going to this week’s Nitro Party at the University of North Carolina but instead Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come out. After saying Page isn’t here tonight, Steiner talks about his physique as the fans chant for Goldberg. Bagwell says we’re in UNC country, but he and Steiner are Duke fans (UNC’s big rival). Tonight, they’re calling out Rick Steiner and Goldberg.

Off to the party at UNC.

Clips of WCW doing stuff at UNC this week.

Opening sequence, now featuring Booker T.

Here’s the Wolfpack with something to say and Liz is holding a shirt. Luger talks about his arm injury and Larry gets in a good line by saying Luger only suffers from narcissism. Now for the announcement: Nash is offering Rey Mysterio a spot in the Wolfpack. There’s no Mysterio, so Nash calls him on a cell phone but Rey declines the offer.

Video on Booker T. pinning Bret Hart last week. Booker gets a US Title shot at Uncensored.

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. Kidman

Kidman is defending and takes him down with a hurricanrana. Psychosis nails a clothesline and the fans aren’t pleased. Another hurricanrana sends Kidman outside and a baseball slide knocks him into the barricade. Back in and Kidman backdrops Psychosis over the post and to the floor, followed by a huge dive to take him down again. Psychosis nails a shot to the ribs and we take a break.

Back with Kidman being sent ribs first into the ropes with a drop toehold. The guillotine legdrop to the back sends Kidman to the floor and into a cameraman for a nice crash. Kidman comes back with a clothesline and a springboard off the barricade into a hurricanrana. Back in again with Kidman slipping while trying a superplex and settling with a slam off the top. The BK Bomb gets two and a bulldog out of the corner gets the same. Kidman counters a powerbomb (of course) and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B. This was REALLY good with Psychosis continuing his roll. I can understand why you don’t give him the title at this point but he had a great performance in trying. Kidman is looking unstoppable at this point and is firmly in the top level of cruiserweights. He still has to deal with Mysterio though.

We look at Benoit/Malenko attacking Windham/Hennig last week.

Arn Anderson comes in to see David Flair and the Blonde. She says Flair and the Horsemen couldn’t get someone like her but Arn says he wouldn’t get down in the gutter with her. Anderson reminds David of the problems he warned David of when he started wrestling and says the NWO is just using David. This is called jealousy and David says the Horsemen are all old.

Hogan gives Vince permission to knock Stevie Ray out if he complains anymore.

More UNC party stuff. They’ll be at Brown University next week.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

They circle each other to start until Bigelow LAUNCHES him across the ring ala Spike Dudley. Bam Bam misses a charge in the corner and Mysterio hammers away, only to get caught in something like a World’s Strongest Slam. Bigelow picks him up and throws Mysterio onto a bunch of security guards. Back in and the slow destruction continues with a big boot putting Rey down.

We hit the chinlock followed by a Dominator and headbutt but Bigelow pulls up at two. Bam Bam misses a top rope headbutt and Rey nails a missile dropkick. A middle rope X-Factor gets two but Bigelow crushes him with a clothesline. We return to a stupid idea of setting off fireworks to start the second hour when a match is going on. Rey gets sent into the buckle and falls head first between Bigelow’s legs. Mysterio goes up and grabs a victory roll for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a way to continue Mysterio being the giant killer, which is fine for an idea, except for one thing: Mysterio is the greatest cruiserweight in WCW history and it shouldn’t be the biggest upset in the world when he beats a big guy. This theory that cruiserweights are nothing compared to heavyweights doesn’t hold up but WCW kept going with it for years.

Mysterio says he’s standing up for all the small people when Luger comes up for a distraction. Nash sneaks in and jumps him while shouting about Rey wasting the chance of a lifetime earlier.

Bigelow, Raven and Hak have a hardcore brawl in the back.

Ric Flair arrives in a long white limo and we go to a commercial. We just went to a commercial after the brawl!

The Wolfpack tells Stevie Ray to beat up Vince. DOES NO ONE WATCH THE SHOW???

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Jerry Flynn with something to say. Seriously. He’s tired of Ernest Miller issuing all these challenges and wants to challenge Miller to a fight right now. We cut to the back where Scott Norton tells Miller that Flynn is calling him out.

Ernest Miller vs. Jerry Flynn

Miller comes out to James Brown music with Glacier’s lasers. He dives at Flynn but hits the referee’s feet instead, allowing Jerry to hammer away in the corner. A running spin kick staggers Miller but he trips Flynn down and chokes a lot. Miller misses a charge and hits the post before they trade some more kicks. Flynn gets the worse of it and Miller puts on a chinlock. The fans think this is boring and the guys head outside with Miller still in control.

Flynn kicks him into the barricade before they go back inside for a big kick from Ernest. A superkicks puts Flynn down for two but he comes back with kicks and a belly to belly for two. Then they kick each other at the same time and are both down. The referee decides that the first person to his feet is the winner, so Miller distracts the referee while Sonny Onoo kicks Flynn down to give Miller the win.

Rating: F. When the referee is so bored by a match that he’s willing to end a match that quickly, you can tell it’s a failure.

Flynn chases both guys off post match.

Video on Steiner vs. Page at SuperBrawl.

Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn hammers away to start but Jimmy Hart trips him up to give Morrus control. Tony announces Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Windham/Hennig vs. Malenko/Benoit for Uncensored. Morrus charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn suplexes him down. A Fameasser puts Hugh down but another Hart distraction lets Morrus nail a clothesline. Back in and Morrus gorilla presses him down for two before cranking on a chinlock.

A clothesline gets two more for Morrus as the fans are just dead here. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Morrus goes up, only to jump into a northern lights suplex for two. There’s a t-bone suplex to put Morrus down but Chris Jericho comes out with I think a chain to lay Saturn out. No Laughing Matter gives Morrus the pin.

Rating: D. What a dull match. I have no idea why they started doubling the length of TV matches but it’s very annoying when they have boring matches like this filling in all that time. This really didn’t work as about three minutes were spent in a chinlock. The Jericho vs. Saturn feud needs to die already.

Bagwell and Steiner are still trying to make it to Spring Break.

Konnan music video.

More Nitro Party stuff from UNC.

Clip of Meng on Mortal Kombat the series.

We see Hennig/Windham refusing to defend against Malenko/Benoit. This is pointless as the rematch has already been announced.

Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart

I think this might pick things up a bit. Bret takes over with some forearms to the back and a running clothesline before taking Benoit into the corner for some right hands to the jaw. Benoit elbows him to the floor before taking Bret down with a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long and Chris gets two off a clothesline. A DDT gets two for Hart and a piledriver gets the same. Bret is definitely in full heel mode here as he’s taking his sweet time between moves.

Benoit reverses a suplex into a small package for two but Bret stomps him down again. A backbreaker gets two for Bret and we hit the chinlock. Benoit fights up with a belly to back suplex but the Swan Dive only hits mat. There’s the Sharpshooter but Benoit counters into the Crossface, only to have Bret make the ropes. Sweet sequence.

We take a break and come back with Benoit making a rope to escape a Figure Four. The middle rope elbow gets two for Hart and he hammers away in the corner. Benoit wakes up and kicks Bret in the ribs before driving a knee into the stomach. A big running elbow drops Hart and the Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t cover.

He finally gets two before they clothesline each other down. It’s Benoit up first with a sleeper but Bret suplexes both of them out to the floor in a SCARY crash. They both get up and Bret heads inside but Windham and Hennig come out to nail Benoit with a title belt. Bret puts on the Sharpshooter and Benoit makes the rope, but Hart doesn’t let go, drawing a DQ.

Rating: B. Remember people: WCW thought Scott Hall vs. Roddy Piper was a better option on pay per view than this. The match took a little while to get going but eventually started cranking up with about ten minutes to go. There was almost no way this wasn’t going to be an awesome match and it didn’t disappoint.

Windham and Hennig go after Benoit but Malenko makes the save.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s some of the NWO for a chat. Hogan talks about David Flair slicking his hair because he’s got the flair. He heard Ric begging for mercy and asking Hollywood to not do anything else to him. As he’s talking, Stevie Ray and Vincent get in a fight. Nash breaks it up and Hogan keeps talking about how Flair is going to retire tonight.

Gene brings out Ric Flair for his big announcement. Flair says he’s going to let his one build for awhile. He’s been sitting at home for two weeks and hearing everyone ask how David Flair could do this. Ric talks about how everyone is in the NWO before going on about a blonde that he met in Charlotte twenty years ago that changed his life. Now she’s at home waiting on Daddy.

Flair reminds us that we’re LIVE in North Carolina tonight. He’s the President for twenty eight more days and now his target is Hogan. It’s ending at Uncensored with the title on the line inside a fifteen foot high steel cage with no door and barbed wire on top. After Uncensored, people will want to be like the Nature Boy instead of Mike.

Rick Steiner/Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Rick and Buff get things going with Bagwell nailing a dropkick. Rick no sells a suplex and powerslams Buff down. It’s off to Goldberg so Bagwell crawls over to tag in Scott. They lock up against the ropes before Goldberg easily runs him down with a shoulder. Scott nails him with a hard elbow to the face before hammering on Goldberg in the corner. That’s fine with Goldberg as he gorilla presses Scott over his head for an insane seven reps before dropping him to the mat.

Rick comes in to face his brother but Buff trips him up, allowing Scott nail a suplex. Buff comes in legally and hammers away as Scott cuts the turnbuckle pad off. Rick is sent into the steel a few times before Scott nails him with a clothesline for two. Choking ensues as you can feel the hot tag to Goldberg coming. A low blow keeps Rick in trouble and it’s back to Buff for a clothesline. Scott cranks on the leg but Buff’s splash hits knees. There’s the hot tag to Goldberg and house is thoroughly cleaned. Everything breaks down and a double Steiner Line drops Buff and Scott. The spear and Steiner Bulldog take care of Bagwell.

Rating: C. This was your standard main event tag match and that’s fine. I like that they let the heroes stand tall for a change as it’s barely happened since the end of last year. Rick Steiner is decent as a power guy and seeing him vs. Scott is always interesting since we couldn’t get a clean match between the two of them. This was a nice way to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: C. If not for the Flynn and Morrus matches this would be a lot higher. This had two REALLY good matches on it which goes to show how WCW can do things right when they’re given the chance. Flair’s announcement wasn’t anything mind blowing but it gives WCW a chance to make up for some of its disasters. This show flew by and was really easy to sit through, which is the first such episode in a long time.

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Thunder – February 18, 1999: Well…..It Is Better

Thunder
Date: February 18, 1999
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 9,159
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This show has to be better than Nitro. I really do not thing it’s possible for a show to be worse than the one that I watched on Monday. It completely missed on everything it was trying to do and made everyone in WCW seem very stupid. Last week’s Thunder wasn’t much better, meaning tonight has to be better. It’s also the go home show for SuperBrawl. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Hogan vs. Piper on Monday.

The announcers preview the show for us and don’t have anything interesting to say.

There’s a cage over the ring and the announcers have no idea why it’s there.

Goldberg is going to be on the Tonight Show on Friday and will be making a huge challenge.

Booker T. and Stevie Ray are in the back with Booker trying to talk Stevie out of the Black and White. Disco Inferno shows up and says Harlem Heat reforming would open up a spot for him in the Black and White. Booker says get out of here and Disco thinks it’s a “brother” thing. Mr. T. doesn’t take kindly to this.

The Blonde, wearing a cut off top and white shorts, is in the hotel room when the cameraman comes in. He hands her a taser and she says his meeting with Scott must have gone well. The Blonde takes the taser and says she’s very experienced with it. They sit down on the bed and she asks if he wants to play while holding up the stun gun.

We see the start of Kanyon and Raven’s shopping trip for the third time in two weeks.

Here’s Disco to the Wolfpack music with something to say. He introduces us to one of his childhood heroes. The man is a legend, an icon and the United States Champion, the Rowdy Scot. It’s Scott Hall in a kilt over jeans. Hall officially names Disco a member of the Wolfpack and announces Disco vs. Booker T. for Sunday. Disco says Booker has been in WCW for six years and is still on the first rung of the ladder of success. On Sunday, Booker can only hope to contain him. Hall says Piper is shining up the US Title for a big star who unlike Piper is all man. He rips off the kilt and that’s that.

Raven and Kanyon take money out of the bank. Is there any reason for us to see these segments again?

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Lash Leroux

They start fast with Chavo running Lash down with a shoulder but gets caught in an armbar. We cut to the back to see a limousine arriving but Rey Mysterio is waiting to greet it. Lex and Liz are in the limo and as they get out, Rey slams the door on Luger’s hand and shouts THUG LIFE. Not quite as good as Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes and it makes Mysterio look like a criminal. I’m assuming Luger is injured and has to be taken out of the tag match at SuperBrawl.

Back to the arena with Chavo hitting a baseball slide to send Leroux into the barricade. Chavo nails a belly to back suplex in the ring and we hit the chinlock followed by an armbar. Leroux fights up and drops into the splits before nailing a clothesline. A northern lights suplex gets two on Guerrero but he crotches Lash on the top. Leroux gets tied up on the top rope and choked by Chavo’s boot, earning a DQ.

Rating: D+. This would have been better had we gotten to see the whole match, but at least we get to see Kanyon and Raven’s Excellent Adventure again. Leroux isn’t much to see in the ring but a Cajun guy is at least something we haven’t seen before. Chavo getting to be more aggressive as a serious heel is something nice to see as well.

Post match Chavo keeps hammering away until Kidman comes in for the save. Chavo beats him up too and hits a tornado DDT off the apron.

Kanyon and Raven go to Versace.

Clips from Nitro of Flair being attacked in the field, being saved by the truck driver and being taken to the arena.

Scott Steiner shows up and is told Page isn’t expected here tonight.

Kanyon and Raven get home and Raven’s mom tells him they want him back at work. These are all out of the way in the first 45 minutes or so, meaning there’s hopefully something new later.

Video on Bigelow vs. Goldberg.

Adams and Horace are in the back and say they’ll go to SuperBrawl because of their size and power. Basic promo but it got the message across.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match, Jericho talks about Saturn wearing a dress. He has a surprise for us, sporting some of the latest Chris Jericho Collection. Here’s Ralphus in a pink dress and actually looking more human than usual. We take a break about thirty seconds into the match and come back with Jericho nailing a clothesline before sending Juvy throat first onto the middle rope.

Chris tells Ralphus to kiss Guerrera but Juvy knocks him down out of fear of a bad infection. Back in and Juvy gets two off a hurricanrana and DDT but Jericho nails a spinebuster out of the corner. Guerrera flips out of a German suplex attempt but Jericho counters another hurricanrana into the Liontamer for the submission. Not enough to rate and did we really need a commercial in a six minute match?

We’re an hour into this show and we’ve seen about six minutes of wrestling.

Video on Page vs. Steiner.

This Week In WCW Motorsports! They’re still not very good.

Back with Buff Bagwell in the ring. He’s been cleared to wrestle, but tonight he’s introducing Scott Steiner. Scott runs his mouth about Page and calls him white trash but accepts the challenge for Sunday. However he wants a stipulation: if he beats Page, Steiner gets Kimberly for thirty days. Scott gets a warm-up match tonight.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Blaze

It’s exactly what you expect: forearms to the back, a gorilla press, a belly to belly and the Recliner.

Steiner beats on him even more after the match.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan vs. Silver King/Hector Garza

Mysterio hammers away on Silver King to start but Garza gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Hector’s standing moonsault gets two and it’s back to Silver King for a front facelock. Rey easily fights out and makes the hot tag. Konnan cleans house with the rolling lariats before everything breaks down. A Bronco Buster crushes Silver King and Konnan’s X-Factor and sets up a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin on King. Another short match.

The Horsemen say they’ll win tonight and bring meaning back to the titles.

Video recapping the US Title situation leading up to SuperBrawl.

Jerry Flynn vs. Booker T.

Feeling out process to start with with Flynn taking him into the corner, only to get caught with a running clothesline to send him out to the floor. Back in and a legsweep takes Booker down and Jerry kicks away in the corner. Disco tries to interfere but Jerry kicks him down off the apron. Booker slams Flynn down and nails the whip spinebuster. Disco low bridges Booker to the floor and hits the Chartbuster before sending Booker back in inside for a spinkick, giving Jerry the pin.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement instead of a match and thankfully it wasn’t a clean win for Jerry. Booker deserves better than a match with Disco Inferno but a young and talented guy getting a significant push in WCW isn’t something you can expect in WCW. At least it’s a match with a story though.

Gene brings out Ric Flair for the hard sell for Sunday. Ric is in sunglasses due to the attack on Monday. Flair has something he wants Hogan to hear. He survived Monday night and neither Hogan nor the NWO is cool. Hogan has a bunch of celebrity friends and he was given a belt to call himself the World Champion. He goes on about earning his championships and how he’ll prove what it means to be a champion in Oakland. There goes the jacket and Flair lists off all of the legends that a lot of the fans have never heard of. This is the same promo Flair has done every time he’s talked in this feud.

The Blonde, wrapped in a sheet, and the cameraman are ordering room service. He hands her tickets to SuperBrawl. She’s ready to go shopping.

The cage has been lowered.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Horace/Brian Adams vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Pinfall or submission only, no escape. The winners go to SuperBrawl to face Hennig/Windham. Flair has put this in a cage to prevent the NWO from interfering. Malenko takes Horace into the corner to start but a hard elbow to the jaw puts Dean down. It’s off to Benoit vs. Adams with Chris taking him down into an armbar. An enziguri puts Adams on the mat again but Benoit charges into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back to Horace for an elbow to Chris’ jaw and it’s quickly back to Adams who gets caught in a backslide for another two.

Benoit’s chop has little effect on Horace and everything breaks down for a few seconds, only to have Malenko put back on the apron. Chris finally sends Horace into the cage and makes the hot tag to Malenko. Dean quickly takes Adams down and goes for the Cloverleaf, only to have Horace make a save. Everything breaks down for real now and the Horsemen catapult Brian into the cage. The Crossface has Horace in trouble but Adams makes the save.

A big boot gets two on Dean with Benoit making a save of his own. The Horsemen send Benoit face first into the cage as Vince is unlocking the cage door. Malenko is sent into the cage as well and Benoit is sent through the door. Horace and Adams pound on Malenko with a chair but Benoit easily fights off Vince. He climbs the outside of the cage and kicks Horace down as Malenko kicks the chair into Adams’ face. Benoit hits the swan dive off the top onto Adams to go to SuperBrawl.

Rating: C+. This was fine and they actually got me thinking that the Horsemen might lose for a little while. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but at least it got some time and had a big spot at the end. The cage only existed for the big spot at the end and really wasn’t necessary but after the boring matches I’ve had to put through, this was a solid match.

Overall Rating: D+. This was far more boring than it was bad, but that’s a nice change of pace after the last two shows I’ve had to go through. It doesn’t do much for SuperBrawl and the Kanyon/Raven videos are the biggest waste of time I can think of in years. It was nothing worth watching, but I’ll take this over the horrible Nitro any day.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 23: Doink the Clown

We’re going to do things a bit differently this time with a character instead of wrestlers. Today is Doink the Clown, but I’ll be doing anyone who has ever played the character. The main wrestlers are Matt Osborne (original Doink, also known as Big Josh in WCW), Steve Lombardi (Brooklyn Brawler) and Ray Apollo (never did much else).

This is the character’s debut from some point in early 1993 on Wrestling Challenge, though he’s made appearances in the aisle and crowd for months before.

Doink the Clown vs. Bob East

Doink takes East down very quickly and nails an enziguri. We hit an armbar on East followed by a nice dropkick. Doink puts on the Stump Puller (East is sitting down and Doink sits on his neck before pulling up on his leg) and drops back into a cradle for the pin.

Doink’s first major feud was with Crush, who he fought at Wrestlemania IX.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

This is during Crush-A-Mania when he was on the verge of getting the mega push to the stars which would never happen. Crush chases him around the ring to start and slams Doink on the floor before pounding Doink in the face a bit. Doink tries to punch back but Crush no sells everything. Back inside and Crush hits a neckbreaker for no cover. A neck snap over the top keeps Doink down as does a backbreaker. We’re three minutes in and it’s all Crush so far.

As Crush is hitting some Sheamus forearms on the apron, Doink hits a kind of Stunner on the top rope to take over. A few top rope forearms to the back of Crush’s head keeps us in clown control and a lame piledriver gets no cover. Doink actually slams him but goes up top and jumps into a boot to the jaw. A cross body attempt by the Clown doesn’t work as Crush hits a powerslam before clotheslining Doink to the floor.

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until Doink got in some not terrible offense. Again though, this was when Crush was about to get pushed to the moon, so he loses to Doink? The Clown character had a ton of potential, but instead of going with something interesting like the Joker, we got FUN Doink soon after this, because that’s interesting stuff right?

Doink would then be brought in as part of the Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler feud, with Lawler having Doink face Bret as a replacement at Summerslam 1993.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

In 1994, Ray Apollo would take over the character and turn him face. His major feud was against Bam Bam Bigelow, though they only had one singles match from some point in February 1994. Doink also now has a mini clown named Dink.

Doink the Clown vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow and Doink get in a tug of war over Dink until Doink grabs a quick belly to belly to send Bigelow out to the floor. Dink steps on Luna Vachon’s hand to draw some screams before Doink takes Bigelow down by the leg. The referee is with Dink for some reason, allowing Luna to rake the big clown’s eyes for the save. A hard elbow to the jaw drops Doink again but he comes back with a running knee lift as we take a break.

Back with Luna chasing Dink with both villains missing the little guy. Doink is finally getting up off the floor but can’t slam Bigelow, giving the big man a two count. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Doink fights up and grabs a belly to back suplex. Some clotheslines have Bigelow rocked but Luna trips Doink up. Bigelow hits the top rope headbutt, only to have Dink break up the pin. Luna grabs Dink but the little clown steps on Luna’s foot and headbutts Bigelow low, knocking him to the floor for a countout.

Rating: D. This was a comedy match minus the comedy that most people over about six years old would laugh at. Apollo sucked the life out of the character as the face turn took away all of the psychological dimensions to Doink and turned him into a guy who did a lot of goofy pranks.

Here’s the required tag match from Wrestlemania X.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

What’s better than one small clown? THREE OF THEM! Against THREE MINI LAWLERS! From Survivor Series 1994.

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy
Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

We’ve got midgets. Great. In case you can’t tell, they’re three small Lawlers and three small clowns. Lawler tells the fans to NOT chant Burger King at him, because he’s a master at baiting a crowd you know. The big guys start and guess what the fans are chanting. Here’s the first ten minutes of the match: Lawler and Doink do something, Jerry takes over, the small clowns interfere and Lawler gets mad and loses the advantage.

Lawler tries an enziguri but Doink ducks to send Jerry hiding in his corner. Jerry yells at his partners and the Clowns are all laying on the ropes. Jerry gets Doink down and has the small Lawlers run over him. They make faces at the clowns then run back over Doink and crash in a pile. Keep I mind that these other kings have facial and chest hair. Jerry yells at them again and it’s back to the big guys fighting some more.

The small clowns all come in and cover Jerry with Doink counting. Lawler is all ticked off so they do the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE with Jerry counting Doink’s shoulders. Jerry can’t catch Cheesy when Doink kicks him off so Cheesy gets a two count on Lawler with Dink counting. Doink puts a Burger King crown on Lawler to make him even madder. Dink gets on Doink’s shoulders and (this isn’t a typo) Jerry gets on Sleazy’s shoulders which goes as well as you would expect it to.

The big guys have a test of strength and it turns into a big crisscross between the little guys. Lawler gets a non-existent foreign object to take over but it’s time for a chase scene! Jerry reverses a cross body and rolls up Doink with a handful of tights to eliminate the big guy. Lawler isn’t allowed to be in the ring with one of the smaller guys so the match is in essence over already.

It’s Queasy vs. Dink to start the second half of the match and Dink gets his arm bitten. Queasy gets his tights bitten as does Lawler. Now it’s Cheesy vs. Wink with Wink pulling on the beard. Lawler blocks a monkey flip and Cheesy pins Wink off a rollup. A minute later, Lawler drops Cheesy on Pink from six feet in the air for the pin and it’s Dink vs. all four of them. Pink hides under the ring instead of leaving as Dink beats up all three little guys. A top rope cross body looks to pin Cheesy but Lawler makes the save. Sleazy gets the easy pin to win it.

Rating: S. As in stupider, which I now am having watched this. Last year’s show at least had full sized people in there having these matches and it only ran ten minutes. This ran SIXTEEN MINUTES and wasted Jerry freaking Lawler on it. I’ll take ANYTHING after this and like it more than this.

We’ll get away from this stuff and go to Superstars, January 28, 1995.

Doink the Clown vs. Kwang

Kwang is a masked martial artist more commonly known as Savio Vega. Dink offers an early distraction, allowing Doink to get in some kicks to take over. Back up and Kwang nails a clothesline followed by a hook kick to the face. More boots set up a sunset flip from Doink followed by a dropkick for two. Kwang jumps into a powerslam for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Good night there were a lot of kicks in this thing. Kwang was a decent idea for a lower level card guy but the name pretty much killed him. Doink didn’t have much in the ring at this point but the powerslam wasn’t bad. At least the character doesn’t have that much longer to go.

Next up is a Raw from August 14, 1995 against a man that is described as the original Bray Wyatt.

Waylon Mercy vs. Doink the Clown

Mercy is a southerner who was the nicest guy in the world before the bell but he went nuts when the bell rang. Some armdrags send Mercy to the floor and a shoulder to the ribs knocks him off the apron. Doink gets catapulted out to the floor but comes back with some right hands. Mercy drops him with a single left hand and puts on the maniacal sleeper for the win. The fans chanting KILL THE CLOWN tells you everything you need to know about Doink at the moment.

Rating: D+. It’s a shame that Dan Spivey was in such bad shape as this character could have been a huge deal. The look was great and the promos were awesome but Spivey was just too old and banged up. Still though, it was cool to think about what it could have become. The fans just hated Doink by this point.

One more match from this era, on Raw in September 1995.

Doink the Clown vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

HHH gets annoyed at having Doink’s makeup rub off on his chest so Doink slams him down. A running clothesline drops Doink and Helmsley stomps away, only to run into a boot in the corner. Doink plants him with a side slam but misses an elbow. We hit a reverse chinlock on the clown before a Pedigree gets the pin.

Rating: D. Another boring match from Doink as he was nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point. Helmsley was brand new at this point too so seeing him get wins like this was exactly what you would expect to see happening. The fans didn’t care about the clown by this point either.

That would be about it for Doink as a full time wrestler but he would make some sporadic appearances later on, usually played by Steve Lombardi. Here’s an example from Smackdown on July 31, 2003.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink the Clown

Rhyno has sent Doink to annoy Benoit. Doink takes his time throwing stuff to the crowd so Benoit takes him down on the floor. The hard clothesline drops him to the mat and there’s the wicked German suplex. Doink gets crotched on the top rope, setting up a belly to back superplex, the Swan Dive and the Crossface for the submission.

Another one, from Raw on October 10, 2005.

Rob Conway vs. Doink the Clown

Conway wrestles in sunglasses and is a low level legend killer at this point. Doink gets two off a sunset flip and starts a BOO/YAY chant by pointing at Conway and then himself. Conway finally clotheslines him down and hooks a neckbreaker for no cover. A suplex neckbreaker is good for the pin on Doink.

Doink would be on Saturday Night’s Main Event XXXIV.

Kane/Doink/Eugene vs. Viscera/Kevin Thorn/Umaga

They deserve the ratings they get for this nonsense. The clown and the vampire start us off. Please just make this quick, that’s all I ask. They actually gave this 11 minutes. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? Eugene gets the tar beaten out of him until Kane gets the big tag. Umaga destroys him and then Kane destroys the very fat man for the win. Somehow that was 11 minutes that I’ll never get back. Just get us out of here please.

Rating: F-. This was on in 2007. Let that sink in for a minute.

And another from Raw on July 10, 2010, a show I attended live.

Santino Bunch vs. Regal Bunch

Her video is literally nothing but clips from the Brady Bunch. No one under the age of 15 gets this at all as she’s just some old woman. It’s weird seeing a Boyle County (big old corn fed Kentucky high school football team) shirt on WWE TV. Florence is the announcer here and says she’s feeling groovy. It’s Regal, Ryder (with regular tights now), Primo and Doink (I’d bet on Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene) vs. Santino, Khali, Kozlov and Goldust. That’s actually a fairly accomplished face team.

Henderson gets a MUCH better reaction here than she did in the video earlier. Wow apparently it was Steve Lombardi as Doink, more commonly known as the Brooklyn Brawler. The captains start us off as Santino has been less annoying lately. Florence puts on Regal’s robe and Santino goes Cobra on us. I wonder if he’s Cobra Commander.

It’s a big mess already and here’s Doink. The crowd only cared about him for the sake of comedy. Khali comes in and falls victim to a squirt gun. A big chop ends this in like a minute. Khali’s music really is good. Henderson is a sport here and at least seems like she wants to be there which is a very good thing if nothing else. She kisses Khali afterwards which is disturbing.

Rating: N/A. Although anything with these 8 guys can’t be incredibly good. Thankfully it seems that the guest host concept is ending. Shame it’s only 7 months too late but whatever.

And finally, from Raw on July 2, 2012 as part of Heath Slater hates legends.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

As you can see pretty clearly, Doink was little more than a joke for most of his career. However, those early days when he was sinister and evil and basically the Joker were some very entertaining performances and showed how much potential the character had. Then he became a joke and everyone hated him but that’s life in wrestling for you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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