Summerslam 2000
Date: August 27, 2000
Location: Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 17,002
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another year, and another Summerslam. We have no Austin at the moment, but he’s coming back very soon from neck surgery. In his absence, HHH and Rock have shot to the moon in popularity with Rock being the face of the company at the moment and the reigning WWF Champion. His opponents are HHH and Angle, who had a double pin in a triple threat with Jericho. Also, they’re feuding over Stephanie.

We also have biker Taker vs. Kane, and the first ever TLC match with the three teams that you would expect to be in a TLC match. We’re just on the verge of being out of the Attitude Era as WCW knows they’re a dying breed at this point and would be out of business in about 8 months. Therefore, WWF has won and they’re still pouring it on with the Attitude Era, but with Austin gone a lot of the edge has left, as the gap is nowhere near as big as it once was between him and the rest of the roster.

Either way, WWF is no longer dominating but is victorious in the wars with just the final surrender to go. This is the last Summerslam before the takeover of WCW, so let’s see if it’s as good as the rest of the Attitude Era.

This intro is out there. It’s all in sepia, which is that gray color you see in old movies. It’s a bunch of odd scenes and looks like something you see on an acid trip, mixed in with wrestling clips. It shows kind of a highlight package of the main feud, which makes me think that the main event should have been Rock vs. someone else (not sure who, maybe Jericho or Benoit) and HHH vs. Angle in a separate match.

One of the clips in this is the Trish bent over in front of HHH scene, which is still one of the best done comedy moments in the history of the WWF in my opinion. We get the pyro etc. as Ross and Lawler welcome us.

Right To Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

It’s the Lee special as Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan and Goodfather are the RTC tonight, with Val coming later I guess. It’s hard to believe that Rikishi would be revealed as the man that ran over Austin in less than two months. Ok, the name plates for the wrestlers are going to be a problem. When they come on the screen or go off the screen they make this weird sounds and it sounds like someone is knocking on my window.

In case you don’t know, RTC was a parody of the PTC, which in essence is a company that whines and complains about how everything on TV is poisoning children’s minds. There’s a massive rant that I’m holding back here that could go on for about four pages but I’ll spare you from it. Anyway, they try to censor anything they don’t like, and they don’t like Rikishi’s thong. Too Cool and the fat guy come out with two of Godfather’s former Hos, one of which is known as Victoria.

Victoria in a short skirt dancing is something that we need a LOT more of. Apparently the WWF Title match is no holds barred. The crowd starts chanting save the gardening equipment. Yeah that joke sucks but I couldn’t help it. More or less this turns into Rikishi dominating against the other three while Too Cool do nothing at all. In other words, it’s a standard Too Cool and Rikishi match. He goes for the stink face, which is an abomination on wrestling if I’ve ever seen one.

It (thankfully) doesn’t happen as Bull kicks him in the head. Scotty goes for the Worm which is even worse than the other move, but I become a Stevie fan as he kicks Scotty’s head off and pins him. Short and sweet, just how I like it.

Rating: B-. It was a fast opener which is perfect for a PPV. For some reason the crowd always loved Too Cool, despite the fact that they completely sucked. I loved that we didn’t have to see either of those horrid moves though, so that’s a plus. Also, I like when the heels win the opening match. It makes the faces winning later that much better.

We get a recap of what happened on Heat, which is both Kurt and Stephanie arriving. I might as well explain the backstory here. Kurt had been flat out hitting on Stephanie for weeks but nothing ever came of it. Three days prior to this on Smackdown, there was a match where Kurt and HHH were in it at the same time. I think it was a tag but I don’t remember. Either way, Stephanie got knocked down and ala Hulk and Liz from 1989, Kurt took her to the locker room.

He kept apologizing and eventually kissed her, which she seemed to like. Anyway, both of them get here tonight with Kurt getting there first. Coach (in 2000? REALLY?) asks both of them questions which aren’t answered. Once Stephanie gets there, she asks if HHH has shown up yet and is told no. She hears that Kurt is here and asks which way he went. He went to the left, so Stephanie goes to the right.

Shane is being interviewed about Stephanie, but Steve Blackman, his opponent for later is near him and he runs off.

And now, submitted for your appreciation, following the frustration which led to a separation and then this altercation which spells the decimation of the degeneration, here is the initiation which I hope isn’t an abomination.

Sorry when Road Dogg starts talking that just comes over me. Anyway, DX has split and this is the result if you don’t speak rhyme.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

Short version: they’ve been fighting and Pac accidentally knocked Road Dogg through a table on Raw Monday night. We see a clip of these two against Taker in a handicap match, and Taker’s outfit is I guess leather pants and a Taker t-shirt. I’m not sure if I like it or not but it’s just very different looking. As we’re under way, Ross says that there are people that consider these two to be one of the best tag teams of all time.

I’m not sure if I should go with the X-Pac doesn’t look like Billy Gunn joke, or the how blind are you people joke. Either way, that’s just preposterous and….and….and that’s a hard word to rhyme so I’ll just skip it. It’s odd to think of but out of these two, Road Dogg is pretty comparable to X-Pac as far as their overall resumes go.

He has 7 tag title reigns (two were in TNA) and an IC and Hardcore title reign, while Pac has some cruiser/light heavyweight reigns and two Euro titles to go with 4 tag titles that only two of which are even remembered. I’ll take an IC reign over two Euros any day, but that’s a different point all together. The fans don’t like this for some reason, which is odd as it’s not a bad match at all.

I guess this is the famous X-Pac heat? I actually think that’s what it is as that was happening when he was in control but the fans are into it when he’s getting beaten up. Both guys were built up as faces coming into this though, so he’s not supposed to be the heel here. Granted the low blow that he uses to set up the X-Factor would suggest otherwise. That ends the match. He of course has to grab a mic though, and says there’s no hard feelings.

Dogg doesn’t and hits the pump handle. X-Pac I guess just turned heel? If he did it was horrid. Road Dogg was actually pretty over here, which is why I’ll never get why he never got a solid push. He was good in the ring, he was WAY over and he could talk. That sounds like the makings of a decent push to me.

Rating: C-. It just wasn’t there for me. It’s not bad, but it’s just not that interesting. In a match like this, someone needs to make the big heel turn before the match. Now Dogg’s best strength was on the mic so turning him would make no sense, as he needs to talk to get over as well as he does. The fans already hate Waltman, so I think he’s your guy. Either way, this just didn’t do it for me and while it was ok, it’s just ok and that’s not good in my eyes.

Eddie and Chyna are talking as Chyna is apparently more or less going to wrestle in a bikini. I’ve made my stance clear on Chyna from this era, so I’ll save the drooling for later. We cut to Val and Trish’s locker room, which is a partnership that I don’t remember at all. Trish is babbling about how she should be a centerfold before Chyna is, which is foreshadowing the Playboy shoot that was coming for Chyna. Val says that’s not important but the IC Title is.

IC Title: Trish/Val Venis vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

Just like at last year’s Summerslam when Santino and Beth won the titles, this is for the IC where whomever gets the fall winning the belt. So yeah I guess somehow Trish could win the title here. Ok according to Ross if Trish wins, nothing changes. Well that’s nonsense. Lawler comments on the name graphics on the screen, thinking it’s someone knocking. That’s actually accurate.

The guys start us out as I think gender vs. gender is legal here. It’s very weird hearing the announcers talk about Trish being horrible in the ring and needing all kinds of help to do basic things. After a decent sequence between the guys Chyna comes in and easily holds her own against Val. She was something incredibly special to say the least.

No Trish yet as Val stops the tag to Eddie, spitting at him. The problem is that it costs him as he takes a low blow and a DDT. The tag brings in Eddie as we still have no hot Canadian. I mean hot Canadian with boobs that is. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Eddie. We get a shot of Trish and it blows my mind that they found someone as beautiful as her with the ability she had.

Trish finally comes in and of course has nothing at all. Chyna comes in to feast on her for a bit, which is probably not the best wording at all but who cares? Val stops the handspring elbow that I want to smack Muta for making a staple of Diva matches. Eddie intercepts Val and it’s girl on girl. Guess how that goes for the blonde. Press slam drop makes Chyna the champion.

Rating: D+. A lot of that rating is for the hotness factor. It’s really hard to believe that Trish was actually this bad at one point. The match was ok, but I’ve never liked matches like these. If nothing else, get another Canadian (Test maybe?) and just have a fatal four way. You can get the same result and you have a better wrestler on top of that.

We see a party at WWF New York with Cole and Foley hosting. Some others show up and it ends with Foley dancing with Too Cool and singing with Rock. This had to be one of the coolest ideas ever, but there was no way to keep it working well.

Stephanie proves why she might be the worst actress of all time as she talks about Kurt’s kiss with the makeup lady.

We get a recap of Tazz vs. Lawler. More or less Tazz was ticked off at JR for saying Tazz was a thug, which was what Tazz always called himself. Lawler defended him, and we get this out of it. This was actually a pretty decently built up feud I thought, with Tazz beating up JR in a car and then Lawler afterwards. It’s better than it sounds.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

During the car attack Ross’ eye was hurt and Tazz makes fun of that on his way there, which is actually pretty funny. He really was an underrated performer. I also love how everything can be forgiven by a simple face turn in wrestling. Lawler in white boots just looks weird for some reason. Teddy Long is the referee as you never know who you’ll see in a match sometimes.

Lawler of course is beating the heck out of him at first only to get caught later on. JR is so pro King it’s sad, although the storyline goes that way so it makes sense. Tazz goes up and tries what I guess we would call a Swanton Bomb, but it misses, Lawler pulls the strap down and piledrives Tazz, but he’s up before Lawler is. Ref gets bumped. Now if I know Lawler, and I’ve seen a lot of his stuff, I’m betting on an international object being hidden in his tights.

Anyone want to take a bet on that with me? Actually I’m wrong as Lawler gets choked out, but Ross slams a candy jar into Tazz’s head to break it up and let Lawler pin him. The odd thing is, and I’m guess this is what inspired it, at Wrestlemania that year Tazz got hit in the face with a candy jar like that in a hardcore match and it damaged his eye.

If I remember the reports correctly, it was Tazz that was supposed to get Benoit’s push. Now there’s something to think about. Another thing to think about: I like Lawler’s music.

Rating: C+. This was a simple storyline that needed a simple resolution and that’s what we got here. Lawler is always dependable in the ring and this was no exception. Ross getting involved is a nice little treat that you rarely see, although he likely should have been fired in kayfabe for that. Anyway, this was just a fun short match to let the old guys have a nice moment, and there’s nothing wrong with taking ten minutes, including the lead in and intros etc., to do that on a three hour show.

Lillian, who is A, somehow STILL not the ring announcer and B, looking WAY hotter with curled hair, tries to talk to Shane but he runs again because of Blackman, and their match is next.

Hardcore Title: Steve Blackman vs. Shane McMahon

Shane runs to the ring holding the belt. As he’s running we see how he won it, which was using the 24/7 rule and the help of Edge, Christian, Test and Albert. That’s how much of a hardcore god Blackman was at the time. Anyway, Shane is running scared here as he finally has to defend it. The bell rings twice, so I guess the match never actually happens, but why am I using logic in the WWF?

In a funny spot Shane and Blackman play pass the kendo stick, but in a cool spot, Blackman grabs the stick out of Shane’s hands mid swing and beats him with it. That looked quite cool actually. This is in the ring all of 8 seconds and JR and King are making Survivor references, as at the time that was the hottest show in the world. Now it’s still big I guess, but has anyone watched it in forever? This is a total beatdown so far as Blackman is just killing Shane.

I completely mark out as a garbage can is put on Shane and Blackman beats him half to death with sticks, allowing JR to say that it reminded him of Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7. That was just flat out awesome as we get a Conan reference on Summerslam. That is just so freaking sweet. Anyway, nerd boy moment over. Leather strap is brought in and tied to Shane, which is always fun.

We need more Texas Bullrope matches, and I mean the touch four corners kind. Shane is more or less hogtied in a submission hold that looks SICK, but Test and Albert run in for the save. JR goes through the history of Shane and Test and Stephanie which sounds like it’s a parody of a soap opera that it’s so cheesy. The sweet elbow of Test hits Steve so this match is a success.

They fight up to the entrance where Blackman is able to beat up the muscle guys, but Shane keeps running. However, he runs out of places to run, so he climbs one of the towers. What happens next is freaking scary, as Shane goes probably 30-35 feet up (of course called 50-75 by JR, since 25 feed is such an easy mistake to make in a place that small).

Blackman follows and slams him in the back with a kendo stick until Shane falls the whole way in a shot that looks awesome. Blackman climbs down about 10 feet before dropping an elbow/leg onto Shane then covering him for the title. Ross tries to compare it to Foley’s Cell dive, and I just shake my head. BIG difference between landing on a table and then concrete and falling backwards onto a crash pad there fat boy.

Rating: B. Not even factoring in the huge spot at the end, this was a standard enjoyable hardcore match, with all kinds of weapons and Shane getting beaten up. They tried so hard to make Blackman a big deal here, but the problem was the division was just a novelty, and Blackman was gone soon after this if I remember correctly. I know he was gone by the Invasion which was less than a year away.

In a scene that cracks me up, Stephanie is freaking over Shane, but isn’t near him, despite him being in the same building. Her not even leaving her room just makes me laugh. Kurt comes in to hug her and Foley, who for no reason at all is wearing a Minnesota Twins jersey, comes in and says that Stephanie should go check on Shane, which apparently she couldn’t figure out on her own?

We get a recap of Benoit vs. Jericho. Good grief this was intense. The video package is really well done as you can see that these two just want to go at it. It’s clear they’re the future along with Angle and the company knew it, which is always a good thing. The match is 2/3 falls by the way.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

You really don’t even need a story here with guys of this level, but the basic story is they don’t like each other. There it is, and I like it better that way. Who needs a big elaborate story? They knew that these two would put on a clinic so why over complicate things? They of course start hot with them both going to the corner and in a spot that you don’t often see, all three including the referee go through the ropes and crash on the floor.

That’s not something you see often but I like it. The WOO on the chops is always fun to hear. Now we get to something that I just don’t like. Benoit gets the crossface and Jericho taps in something like four minutes. Ok, now I get that it’s 2/3 falls and Jericho should want to keep the amount of damage he takes to a minimum. Heck, Lawler flat out says that it would be smart to tap here. I get that.

However, no matter how you want to say it, Benoit beat Jericho in like 4 minutes. Isn’t there some better way to do this? Couldn’t you do the first fall at like 9 minutes into the match? It’s not like this is going to be a five minute match or anything, so what’s the rush? I really don’t get that as it makes Benoit look capable of making Jericho tap with no difficulty and it makes Jericho look kind of weak.

I get the giving up quickly, but don’t make Jericho look like he has no defense at all for the hold. Rant over. Second fall starts immediately which is good as I’ve always hated the whole rest thing. This isn’t boxing. The stupidity of the end of the first fall is compounded here as Benoit immediately puts the hold back on and Jericho gets to the ropes. See what I mean? Why wouldn’t you just reverse that sequence?

He gets out the first time and then later on he can’t because his shoulder is hurting from the first time in the hold. Doesn’t that make a bit more sense? In something quite surprising, Benoit somewhat abandons psychology. They make it clear that the seconds crossface is focused more on the back, but after having that one on much longer, Benoit works on the neck and shoulder. Wouldn’t it make more sense to go after what was more injured?

I guess since he got the tap on the neck/shoulder he should go to it again, but then why would he change what got a tap in the first place? Wouldn’t it make sense that if a little pain made him tap more pain would make him tap again? Dang when did I start thinking like this? Anyway, the holds that Benoit is using here are freaking sick looking.

We get the comeback from Jericho though as he just starts throwing these big haymaker right hands. I’ve never seen him throw punches like this but they’re working for him. We get a nice wrestling sequence that ends up with Jericho getting the Liontamer, not the Walls but the Liontamer on Benoit for the tap out. These two have perhaps the most lethal looking submissions ever. Might have to have a thread about that in the near future.

This is why I like doing these threads. I get good ideas from them. They go into a fast sequence of counters and big moves, with the big one being Jericho hitting a hurricanrana from the top and after a two a lionsault but due to the shoulder he can’t cover.

They do several rollups but Benoit gets a small package near the corner and grabs the bottom rope to get the win. Apparently this was enough to get Benoit in the main event of Unforgiven, as he had just lost in the main event at Fully Loaded to Rock a month prior to this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff. The first two falls were both good enough, but they tore it up in the third one. It was exactly what you would expect from these two and it absolutely delivered on all levels. Somehow, this might not be the best that these two have had so good grief. How insane were these two, especially when you add in Kurt? Thank goodness the company got these three right.

HHH is just now arriving, so we hit the recap button on the Stephanie/Kurt interaction from earlier tonight, as well as the Smackdown kiss. This really has no bearing on anything, as we’re off to our next match.

We get the story of the three teams, which more or less is this: Edge and Christian hit the other four guys with chairs, they beat up Edge and Christian with ladders and tables, so let’s put all 6 guys and three weapons in one match and make it for the tag titles. Now you 6, go tear the freaking house down.

Tag Titles: Dudleyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

In case you didn’t get it, this is the first TLC match. Tables and ladders and chairs, oh my, for all you Wizard of Oz aficionados out there. I’ve always liked the incoming missile thing that they did for the Dudleys entrance. The glasses need to come back for Bubba too. Oh yeah this is in North Carolina, so the Hardys get a small explosion. Chairs are in play quickly. Bear with me here as I’ve never tried to do one of these, so this could be a bit tricky.

Matt just pelts the thing at Bubba which sounds sick. The opening here is just a wild brawl all around, and what else were you expecting? However, you can tell they have a lot of this planned out, and there’s not a thing wrong with that. The big spots at least make sense here, unlike some matches with gimmicks where it’s just big spot after big spot and it rarely works out that well.

In another, say it with me, SICK spot, Jeff is climbing the ladder but Edge knocks him off. Now that doesn’t sound like much, but he lands on a ladder that’s on its side, so his ribs slam into the leg of it. This sea saws the other end up which slams Matt in the face. What’s Up leads to D-Von being given a fairly famous command.

You know I’ve always wondered what would happen if D-Von pulled a Punk and just said no. “D-Von, GET THE TABLES!” No jerk. You ran out when we were at IHOP last night and I had to pay for your 14 pancakes. Get your own tables you big fat butter ball! To make room, someone picks up a ladder and just throws it at Jeff, covering him up with ladders and chairs. We get a new shout from Bubba: D-Von! We’re gonna kill them! Yeah, that’s not over the top at all.

Edge lands three of the loudest and most painful looking chair shots in a row. Those things were just freaking intense. In another huge spot, Jeff does the twenty foot swanton and of course, misses. Edge is a freaking master with those chairs. Bubba is sent through four tables, leaving E/C alone to get the belts. However, Lita sprints to ringside and shoves them both off.

After various other amounts of destruction, including Edge just laying Lita out with a freaking great spear, Jeff and D-Von go up, but the ladder goes out and they’re stuck hanging there. D-Von goes down, so Edge and Christian more or less harpoon him with a ladder, then climb up and get the belts to retain. Kind of a not great ending, but DANG. Bubba is screwed up bad.

Rating: A-. This was a wild mess of a match, but dang. These six knew what they had to do and they nailed it. It was a wild match with all kinds of crazy bumps and wild spots. The scariest thing of all: this will be blown away in April by TLC 2. If you don’t get excited watching this, I feel you’re no longer alive.

Since we haven’t seen enough of this one story tonight, HHH is yelling at Stephanie about the kiss. You know, Rock hasn’t even been mentioned tonight. This is why the one on one would have been better and then find someone else to plug into the main event. Maybe do the fatal fourway that they did next month here. Oh yeah Steph says the kiss meant nothing.

Oh and since we just had an amazing match, let’s completely kill the momentum.

Stinkface Match: Kat vs. Terr

I think you get the idea by the name alone, and yes, it’s as bad as it sounds. Kat, who was married to Lawler in real life but was released soon thereafter, comes out with Al Snow for no apparent reason to a weak version of Sable’s music. Terri comes out with Saturn and just strips on the way in.

That’s just the best way to be: just accept your sluttiness. You know, I hate these things. There’s no point, there’s no skill, and it’s just flat out stupid. You know what? Screw this. This is stupid and it’s not worth my time. Kat wins.

Rating: F-. I’m not 12 years old. This means nothing to me, and it was a complete waste of time. They couldn’t give the tag titles an extra five minutes, but they can do this. Unbelievable.

APA is in WWF New York as bartenders. That would just be cool to do.

Recap of Taker and Kane. This just amuses me. It started with Kane saving Taker from Benoit, which good night I would have loved to see a real feud between those two. Anyway, within seconds of Kane saving him, he turns heel and beats up Taker. For some reason, this amazes JR and Cole. Why? Why does that amaze you?

It’s not like HE DOES THAT EVERY FREAKING TIME HE UNITES WITH TAKER or anything like that. These two fight more often than Sly and I do, and nothing is ever resolved. Anyway, of course we have this match here tonight. Oh and Kane beat up Taker with a chair a few days ago or something.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Taker is the American here and comes out first which is a little weird. His pop is insane to put it mildly. Taker just goes down the aisle and fights him early. Based on the commentary, you know this is going to be short. I wonder if one of them was hurt. In something almost weird for some reason, Taker is going for the mask. As JR says, has anyone ever done that? Not that I remember at least.

I guess it’s no holds barred as Kane brings in a chair and nothing happens. The announcers touch on this as they say the referee has said he’s just going to let them go, That kind of makes sense, as it’s not like he can do anything to either guy to stop them. Taker actually gets about half of Kane’s mask off. Kane messes up and slams the stairs into his own face, followed by Taker just picking them up and throwing the stairs at Kane, which is more or less impossible to fake.

Kane is bleeding bad after the stairs. By bad I mean terribly fake looking as the blood is closer to pink than red. Taker with a freaking spear, and actually a pretty good one. They both set for a chokeslam but Taker just kicks him in the balls. He rips the mask off and Kane runs, ending this…match? His long hair and hand covers it up. Taker’s music plays as JR asks if the bell ever rang.

Rating: B. I LOVED this. It was more or less a long segment, but who cares? This was just Taker being pissed off, and when that happens, it works very well. At the end of it Kane was just getting beaten up and Taker looked awesome. This is what it should have been and it went off well. It’s not like they were trying to top Mania 14, and they shouldn’t have.

Kurt is in the back, not in wrestling gear which is bad because his match is next. He calls someone, and we cut to HHH and Stephanie. Of course the phone rings and Stephanie pretends it’s Linda. HHH asks to talk to her, but “Linda” hangs up. Stephanie looks like a goddess in the graphic to put it mildly.

We get the same recap that we’ve seen five times tonight, so I won’t bother with the story all over again.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is dressed in record time and weighs in at 229lbs. That’s light even for him. He says that he’s sorry he didn’t kiss her earlier. As he’s known for doing, he puts his foot in his mouth and says that he gave Stephanie more passion that HHH ever could. HHH comes out and to say he’s pissed is the understatement of the millennium. They start without Rock, or I should say HHH starts without him.

Rock is smart and doesn’t come out for a few minutes. They hit the announce table and HHH sets for a Pedigree, but the table breaks early and Angle is legit hurt. It’s worse than Lesnar’s face was after the shooting star. I mean he is gone. HHH pulls the hammer but he can’t hit him, IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLll What the Rock is cooking! That music is just freaking awesome.

Since Kurt is injured, we pretty much have Rock vs. HHH, which has been the main event all summer, so it’s not like this is a bad thing. HHH beats Rock down just a bit and runs after the EMTs who are taking Angle out on a stretcher to beat on him a bit more. Rock sprints down the aisle and perhaps literally saves Kurt. They brawl back to the ring and Stephanie comes out to check on Kurt.

Stephanie, clad in ridiculously tight leather pants, comes down and gets yelled at by HHH. She runs over to grab the belt and lands a running slap to the timekeeper that is just hilarious to say the least. She misses and hits HHH though. Seriously, that running slap was GREAT. It just came off as hilarious on about 1000 levels. Game comes back with a low blow though, and that’s the end of my rhyming.

Lawler makes a nose joke about HHH which just seems out of place here. Sister Sledge comes back into play here, as HHH nails Rock with it in the ribs. JR has a small seizure about the hammer as he just shouts and shouts some more. After about eight minutes of these two nearly killing each other, we cut to Stephanie and Kurt in the back with her begging him to come save HHH. If they somehow faked that, I’d be amazed to say the least.

Although, Rock coming out at that exact second is a bit fishy. I’d think he’s legit hurt, but I guess there’s a slight chance that it was fake. They come back out again, with a great shot of Stephanie’s back. For about the 5th time in this match, HHH looks backwards to see if Kurt is there for his spot and it’s really getting bad. It’s so painfully obvious that it’s sad. Angle either wasn’t hurt or it wasn’t nearly as bad as they thought, or he’s completely nuts. He’s staggering all over the place.

The more I look at Kurt the more I think he was just shaken up. He’s moving around better every second and is doing moves that you’d need a lot of mental capacity to do. It’s him and Rock at the moment until HHH saves Angle from being pinned from a Rock Bottom. Stephanie gets back in again after Kurt brings a hammer back in to cause JR to need his medicine. HHH misses a punch and nails Steph, so Kurt nails him with the hammer.

Rock knocks Angle outside and lands the Elbow to retain. He grabs the belt and leaves, posing on the Summerslam set as Angle carries Stephanie out to end the show. Angle would take the title from Rock two months later and hold it until No Way Out.

Rating: B. This was a fine match, as it was mainly HHH vs. Rock, which is always solid. I’m still not sure if Angle was hurt or not, but if he wasn’t then he deserves a raise. This was good enough, but I’m not sure if it’s good enough to be a main event of a major show. I stand by what I said about how it should have been Angle vs. HHH and maybe Rock vs. Taker or Kane as that angle was thrown together in about 10 days. Either way, this was fine.

BUT WAIT!

My version has a post show segment in studio with Coach, so I’ll throw this in as a bonus. Coach, with more hair on his head and less on his face, is going through all of the matches in a highlight package and introducing some of the wrestlers for interviews. Cool.

RTC says they had fun censoring Too Cool, including a Bull Buchanan speech, which is interesting, as he has a thick southern accent. Richards clearly should have been the only one to talk.

Coach doesn’t like RTC. He skips X-Pac and Road Dogg for no apparent reason and jumps to the IC match.

Chyna and Eddie are both happy that she’s the champion and she couldn’t do it without Eddie. This would lead to a pretty simple yet decent angle with them semi feuding over th belt.

Tazz says that the path of rage is coming back. Actually that’s not true as he was turned face very soon.

Coach doesn’t like Tazz.

Blackman actually cuts a promo, saying that the belt is back around his waist when it’s on his shoulder, and that Shane walked away, when he was actually stretchered out. And we wonder why he wasn’t allowed to talk.

Benoit says that he has made his point.

Coach doesn’t like Benoit but he respects him.

Recap of TLC, which is just sweet all over.

Edge and Christian say they’ll be ok. They actually sound like they lost.

Women’s match. Moving on.

Taker says he’s the big dog in the yard, which became a semi catchphrase for him. He tells Kane to never cross him again, leaves, and then comes back to swear. That’s just comical.

Finally, we recap the main event. No interviews here.

I liked this actually. It’s perfect for a home video as it offers a little bonus reason to buy the tape with the exclusive interviews. It’s a nice little addition and it’s only about 10 minutes long, so it’s not bogged down. I like it.

Overall Rating: A. This is a VERY good show, and bordering on classic. The only thing possibly is the main event, which likely should have been Rock vs. HHH or HHH vs. Angle for the title with Rock doing something else. Either way, the show is just great all around with only the women’s match being terrible.

Other than that, everything is good to great. Definitely a big time recommendation here as it was just flat out awesome. Find a copy of this and watch it all, as only about 5 minutes is bad. GREAT show.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,511
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are about a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time for the big response from Undertaker. Batista attacked him at No Way Out and since this is wrestling, the two of them are taking turns in talking to each other. Other than that….well other than that, Smackdown needs another important story for the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista, all in white (including a turtleneck), to get things going. Last week, he explained why he attacked Undertaker at No Way Out and he is honored to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Undertaker chose him because he wants the best competition as well. Then Undertaker chokeslammed him and now they know where they stand. Batista will not be intimidated…..and there goes the gong. We cut to the graveyard, where Undertaker rises out of a grave and says all things must die. Some dirt is shoveled into the grave, with Undertaker promising to make Batista’s title reign rest in peace.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

King Booker is on commentary and egads how weak is their roster to have these two fight this many times? The crowd does seem invested as Booker won’t let the other commentators get in a word. They trade headlocks to start until Matt hits a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. A sitout gordbuster gets the same as Booker keeps up the rapid fire talking. Mercury comes back with a Stroke for two and Hardy is sent shoulder first into the post.

We take a break and come back with Mercury dropping a leg on the arm for two. They head outside so the arm can be dropped onto the apron and we hit the armbar back inside. The arm is wrapped around the middle rope and Mercury gets two off of la majistral. Mercury gets tossed off the top for the crash though and the running clothesline into a one armed bulldog gives Hardy two. The Side Effect gets the same and Hardy rips off Mercury’s protective mask. Mercury knocks him off the ropes but dives right into the Twist of Fate to send Hardy to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C. The arm work was a fine way to carry the story and I liked Hardy using the one armed version of his usual stuff. Much like most of the qualifying matches, there wasn’t a ton of drama here but the personal rivalry helps a bit. At the same time though, I’m done with watching these two fight as it feels like they have been fighting for months now.

MVP says he is Money in the Bank and he’ll prove it tonight.

Wrestlemania Recall: Bart Gunn is relieved of his consciousness by Butterbean.

Maryse tells us to keep watching.

Scotty 2 Hotty/Shannon Moore/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero

Moore and Helms start things off but Helms almost has to punch Chavo first. Helms sends Moore into the corner and hammers away as Cole touts the show’s CW ratings. Chavo comes in and gets taken into the corner so Scotty can work on his arm. A few distractions let Chavo uppercut away in the corner and the villains get to start taking turns on Scotty. Chavo gets in a kick from the apron so Daivari can knock Scotty down again.

Helms gets in a few shots and Chavo works on the arm. Scotty finally gets in a shot of his own and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. A top rope moonsault press gets two on Chavo but Helms jumps Yang. Scotty comes back in to load up the Worm, with the referee cutting it off as Scotty isn’t legal. Everything breaks down with a brawl on the floor as Daivari misses a charge into the corner. Yang hits another moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C-. This got better near the end but egads it was a rough watch for the most part. The heat segment on Scotty went on far too long and it made for a mostly boring match. I can get behind the idea of Yang as the next one off challenger to Chavo, as it isn’t like there is anyone else. Technically fine, as usual, but not exciting.

Even JBL seems impressed with Yang after months of not being able to stand him.

Long video on the end of last week’s show, with Vince McMahon ordering Umaga to destroy Rey Mysterio again.

Here is Vince McMahon to recap last week and promise to shave Donald Trump’s hair at Wrestlemania. The match is about ego and embarrassment because there will be 80,000 people and a worldwide TV audience watching Trump get his head shaved. Vince can’t wait for the headlines, as he might even become Time’s Man of the Year.

We see the Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga brawl from Raw, plus Lashley diving through the cage to knock Umaga over on ECW. Vince talks about how we are going to have a guest referee named on Raw, but here is Lashley to interrupt. Vince doesn’t like Lashley interrupting him but offers him twice whatever Trump is paying him. Lashley says it was an honor to be chosen and it will be an honor to beat Umaga. That means it’s a NO to Vince, which sends him over the edge, including a slap. Lashley’s eyes bug out and Vince wisely runs.

Post break, Mr. Kennedy comes in to see Vince and says he wants Lashley tonight. The match is made and we’ll make it for the ECW World Title, no holds barred. Actually we’ll make it no holds barred for Kennedy only, because he’ll lose the title if he gets disqualified or counted out.

Ashley vs. Jillian Hall

The Playboy cover poster drops down over the entrance. Hold on though as Jillian has to sing her song before the bell. Ashley jumps her to start and grabs some rollups for a few fast near falls. Jillian gets in a few shots of her own and sends Ashley into the corner. A rollup with a grab of the rope gets two on Ashley, who kicks Jillian back down. Ashley drops a middle rope elbow for the fast pin.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Non-title and here’s the Leprechaun to jump commentary. Finlay pulls him off and tells Cole that his name is HORNSWOGGLE. Commentary is far too excited over this being the first ever triple threat qualifying match. It’s a brawl to start with Finlay getting the better of things, including dropping Benoit. MVP sends Finlay outside to hammer away but Benoit dives onto both of them.

We take a break and come back with Finlay elbowing Benoit down into a chinlock, which always feels weird in a triple threat. Benoit fights up but MVP comes in to start the double teaming. MVP hits the Ballin Elbow on Benoit but Finlay hits him with a clothesline. The distraction lets Benoit come back with the German suplexes, setting up a Sharpshooter to MVP.

Finlay makes the save but gets pulled into the Crossface for his efforts. That’s broken up as well so Benoit knocks Finlay outside and hits an enziguri. Back in and MVP knees away at Benoit’s head, only to get caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and here’s Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay is smart enough to club both guys down and get the pin on Benoit.

Rating: C+. They kept things moving here and the ending was hardly a stretch. Finlay would want to get into the title match by all means and this time it involved interference and cheating. Good match here, with everyone working until the end. You could have gone with anyone winning here and it would have made sense, so well done.

Next week: Undertaker vs. Finlay and Batista vs. Kane. Cool.

ECW World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and can lose the match via DQ or countout, while Kennedy is wrestling in a no holds barred match. Before the match, Kennedy takes off the turnbuckle pads and promises to win the title but Lashley cuts him off. Kennedy goes after him to start but gets taken into the corner for a powerslam. Back up and Kennedy sends him hard into the exposed buckle a few times to take over.

We take a break and come back with Lashley being sent outside, followed by a dropkick off the apron. Lashley beats the count back in so Kennedy chokes away with his wrist tape. Kennedy grabs a chair and blasts Lashley in the head for two. Lashley shrugs them off and grabs the chair, only to realize he can’t do that. Instead it’s a clothesline into a powerslam to retain Lashley’s title.

Rating: C. This was similar to the Hardcore Holly vs. Lashley match on ECW, as Vince McMahon keeps finding ways to stack the deck against Lashley. The good thing is that the matches are not exactly against powerhouses so Lashley overcoming the odds isn’t that horrible. Good enough main event here, as Kennedy is moving on to Money in the Bank.

Overall Rating: C+. Obsession with Battle of the Billionaires (which does make sense) aside, the best part of this show is how much it feels like a Wrestlemania season event. Stuff is happening, the Brand Split doesn’t mean as much, and the card is feeling bigger every day. They’re starting to feel it here and that is a great thing to be able to say at the right time.

No Way Out 2007
Date: February 18, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s that show where WWE pretends that it matters while showing us a commercial for Wrestlemania. The main event is a tag match between the Wrestlemania main events, which should be a quality though unimportant match. Other than that, we are getting a Divas Talent Show, which should be as exciting as it sounds. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the tag match, because that’s about all that matters around here.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with JBL ranting about the Spanish team.

Chris Benoit/Hardys vs. MVP/MNM

Bonus match which combines….well just one feud as MVP and Benoit haven’t had any major issues. Matt and Mercury slug it out to start until Mercury charges into a raised boot in the corner. The Hardys start taking over on the arm until Mercury pulls him down by the hair. Nitro comes in and gets his arm cranked as well so MVP will try it instead. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right there to slam him down.

MVP gets chopped into the corner and MNM bails away in a hurry. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex and hands it off to Jeff, who gets slowed down by a rake to the eyes. Nitro comes in for the big staredown and suckers Jeff outside, where Mercury gets in a cheap shot. Back in and we hit the chinlock from Nitro, followed by one from Mercury. A suplex gives MVP two but Jeff gets to the corner for a quick Whisper in the Wind. It’s back to Matt to pick up the pace but MVP takes him down into a cravate.

Ballin gets two on Matt and Mercury comes in to go after Matt’s face again. Matt fights out of Nitro’s front facelock and hits a clothesline, allowing the hot tag off to Benoit. A double German suplex drops MNM and everything breaks down. Poetry In Motion hits MVP and another suplex gets two on Mercury. Nitro dives off the apron with a clothesline to Jeff but has to dive back in to break up the Crossface on MVP. Matt saves Benoit from the Snapshot and it’s the Crossface to make Mercury tap.

Rating: B. I can always go for a good six man and they were going pretty fast throughout here. Mixing up a pair of feuds (or at least one feud and two more people) opens up some extra options and keeps things from being the same stuff over and over. Really good opener here and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise.

Vickie Guerrero has some options and one of her biggest is coming true on Smackdown. She hugs Krystal and thanks her for everything.

Finlay talks with the Leprechaun (who can speak fine here), who is scared of the Boogeyman. Well the Little Boogeyman, because little people are scary. Finlay throws him into a trashcan so he won’t be so scared and then leaves….and the Boogeyman smoke comes up. Little Boogeyman pops up and screaming ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Gregory Helms is defending in a gauntlet match. Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #1 and Daivari is in at #2. Daivari sends him into the corner for some right hands but Scotty comes back with the bulldog. There’s the Worm and Daivari is done in a hurry. Gregory Helms is in at #1 and hammers on Scotty, including a catapult to send him throat first into the middle rope. Scotty is back with a belly to back suplex but the Worm is broken up. What would become known as the Codebreaker gets rid of Scotty so it’s Funaki in at #4.

Helms small packages him for the pin in about five seconds and it’s Shannon Moore in at #5. A spinning backbreaker gives Helms a fast two and a belly to belly superplex drops Moore again. Another Codebreaker gets rid of Moore and it’s Jimmy Wang Yang in at #6. Yang goes right after him and hits a standing moonsault for two. A Russian legsweep sets up some weird arm hold on the mat but Helms is back up in a hurry with a hard right hand. Yang grabs a quick hurricanrana for the pin out of nowhere, guaranteeing a new champion.

Jamie Noble is in at #7 as JBL demands more time to talk about Helms losing the title. A hard shot to the face sets up a chinlock on Yang and Noble sends him hard into the post for two. Yang fights back with a few clotheslines and the spinwheel kick for two of his own. The moonsault press gets rid of Noble and Yang thinks he has won….but it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #8 to complete the field.

Chavo uppercuts him down a few times and kicks Yang in the back to take over in a hurry. A spinwheel kick gives Yang a breather and the big dive to the floor drops Chavo again. Back in and Chavo hits Three Amigos, which Cole calls disrespectful for some reason. Yang gets in another shot to the face and goes up, only to miss the twisting moonsault. The frog splash gives Chavo the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. I’m really not a fan of this style as it’s a bunch of mini matches rather than anything getting time. Chavo winning the title is fine, but the rapid fire falls brings up the same thing I always wonder with this format: why is it so much easier to get a fall in this one than in any given match? Either way, at least the title is off of Helms, who was getting hammered with losses that WWE didn’t seem to think counted because he was still champion.

John Cena isn’t worried about teaming with Shawn Michaels tonight. What does have him concerned is facing Batista and Undertaker tonight. As for Michaels, what is going to happen when you can feel this much tension? Cena doesn’t know either.

Finlay/Leprechaun vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

The Leprechaun is as terrified as you would expect and hides underneath the ring, leaving this as a handicap match. Cole finds it funny, sending JBL into a rant about how Cole is xenophobic for hating Irish people. Boogeyman punches Finlay down to start and they head outside with Finlay being sent into the apron. Back in and Boogeyman hits a powerslam for two, allowing Little Boogeyman to come in for a seated senton. The Leprechaun comes in, puts his hat on Finlay and rolls up his sleeves, allowing Finlay to kick Little Boogeyman in the head.

JBL has no idea what he is watching as Finlay stomps away on Little Boogeyman and grabs a short armscissors. Little Boogeyman gets out and goes underneath the ring, but Boogeyman comes out. Back in and Boogeyman catapults Finlay into the corner and a double splash connects, with the Leprechaun making the save. Boogeyman loads up the worms to chase the Leprechaun off, leaving Finlay to hit the Little Boogeyman with the Shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D. The goofiness was high with this one but it’s kind of hard to get that angry about it. They made no secret of what they were going for here and the match went about as well as it was going to with all the nuttiness. Finlay and the Leprechaun do well together and it’s kind of funny to have a Little Boogeyman to balance things out. That and Finlay hitting Little Boogeyman in the head with a club was worth a chuckle at the end.

Of note: we are about an hour into the show and Cole’s voice is almost gone. This could be an interesting remaining two hours.

Shawn Michaels says he can’t trust John Cena because he only trusts HHH. No matter what happens tonight though, he has to make sure that nothing happens to Cena until Wrestlemania.

King Booker vs. Kane

Booker has Queen Sharmell in his corner, and we get a quick recap (Booker eliminated Kane from the Royal Rumble after being eliminated himself) during the entrances. Booker tries to run to start but gets caught in the corner for some elbows to the face. Kane doesn’t seem to mind getting hit in the face and takes Booker outside for elbow on the apron. As the beating continues, JBL goes into the Inferno match AGAIN, with Cole asking what JBL would have done to win the match.

The side slam and big boot set up a clothesline to the floor as Booker is still in trouble. Booker gets in a few shots of his own though and a missile dropkick connects for two back inside. The armbar goes on for a bit, followed by a kick to the face to give Booker two. Kane gets chopped down in the corner but he comes back with a suplex for a breather.

Booker kicks him in the ribs but misses the ax kick, allowing Kane to hit a running clothesline. The right hands in the corner rock Booker again and there’s the side slam. Kane’s top rope clothesline (closer to a right hang) draws Sharmell up to the apron and Booker nails the side kick. Not that it matters as Kane pops up with the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here as Kane gets a nice boost and King Booker’s run continues to cool off. There isn’t much left for him to do very high up on the card and that makes sense. King Booker wasn’t a gimmick that was going to have a very long term run on top and it has taken its course. Putting someone like Kane over is a good thing, as he could be used to make someone look bigger later.

Batista says Raw is going to lose tonight and he isn’t intimidated by Undertaker, John Cena or Shawn Michaels.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Deuce and Domino

Deuce and Domino, with Cherry, are challenging after winning back to back non-title matches. Domino drives London into the corner to start and they trade slaps. A jumping elbow drops Domino and it’s off to Kendrick to work on the arm. The champs clear the ring in a hurry and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Domino gets in a shot from behind on London to take over for the first time.

London gets whipped into some raised knees in the corner and we hit the double arm crank with a knee in the back. Deuce sends London hard into the corner and there’s a double backdrop for two. The chinlock goes on, allowing the referee to go over and say something to Kendrick in a weird visual. London fights up and gets the tag, setting up a quick spinning backslide for two on Deuce. Domino is back in but misses a Doomsday Device clothesline, allowing Kendrick to victory roll Deuce for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I liked the match but I’m a bit confused by the ending. This was set up for the title change and there was little reason for them to not change the belts here. London and Kendrick have cooled down a bit in recent weeks and it is time for them to drop the titles already. Deuce and Domino are kind of perfect for that, but I guess they have to be slowed a bit on the way there.

Cole’s voice is barely holding up.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s childhood, which led to his successful amateur wrestling career. This is the same thing that aired on ECW last week.

Mr. Kennedy thinks Bobby Lashley is just like everyone here in Los Angeles: a phony wannabe. Everyone has a dream but he is standing here and they are all out there. He has beaten Lashley before and he can do it again, this time becoming the new ECW World Cha….and here is Lashley to say the one word for Kennedy is halitosis. Lashley drops him too, giving us a great confused Kennedy look.

ECW World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and Kennedy jumps him from behind during the entrances. That doesn’t exactly work on Lashley, who beats him near the barricade and takes it inside for the opening bell. A backdrop into a slam has Kennedy in more trouble and the delayed vertical suplex gets two. Kennedy slips away though and kicks Lashley down in the corner. Lashley grabs a torture rack but a rake to the eyes gets Kennedy out of trouble.

JBL talks about how this is the Wrestlemania of the future as Kennedy puts on something like a reverse Figure Four (with Lashley face down and Kennedy face up). With that broken up, Kennedy switches to a half crab so Lashley has to grab a rope. Back up and Lashley tries a slam but the leg gives out, allowing Kennedy to take him down again. A running dropkick to the knee gets two, with JBL saying to take notes if you want to be a sports entertainer.

More stomping in the corner sets up a DDT for two as the fans are not exactly thrilled. The half crab goes on again but this time Kennedy lets it go and puts him down again. The Kenton Bomb hits raised knees though and the leg is fine enough for the torture rack into the kneeling backbreaker. Kennedy “accidentally” bumps the referee and takes out Lashley’s leg again before grabbing a chair. Lashley takes it away and hits Kennedy for the lame DQ.

Rating: C-. I don’t get the boring chants from the fans but the ending wasn’t very good. Sure you don’t want Kennedy to take a fall (as he has done enough as of late) so why put them in this situation if that is all you have? They were in a bad place here and the match might not have been thrilling, but it could have been a lot worse. It could have been a lot shorter too, but I don’t think I would have said boring.

Rey Mysterio is back on Smackdown, but just to talk.

The Condemned is coming.

Vinnie Jones, co-star in the Condemned, says he is the real star of the movie and he beat up Steve Austin….presumably in the movie?

The Miz hosts the Divas Talent Invitational, starting with Extreme Expose. They dance, people drool, next act.

Next up is Jillian Hall, who is excited to have her big break in front of these music executives. First she has to warm up and doesn’t like the lack of bass. She sings her original version, with Miz saying she is the female version of William Hung. Jillian goes into a rant about how Extreme Expose couldn’t even be her backup dancers. She goes on about the other women’s “talents” and calls them b******. Cue the rest of the women to beat her up for the catfight, with referees breaking it up.

Ashley comes out with the talent of showing her Playboy cover and taking off her top, revealing strategically placed Playboy Bunny stickers. That’s enough for the win, shockingly enough.

Wrestlemania is All Grown Up. I like that one, though I’m still not sure I get it.

We recap the main event of Undertaker/Batista vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and is facing Batista, while Shawn Michaels, the Royal Rumble runner up, is challenging Cena. Take two Wrestlemania main events and make a tag match.

John Cena/Shawn Michaels vs. Batista/Undertaker

Non-title. Shawn comes out to the DX theme and entrance as he continues to reach post-Strike Force Tito Santana levels of not being able to let it go. Batista knocks Cena into the corner to start but Cena comes back with right hands. That earns him a Regal Roll of all things and an early powerslam gets two. Cena avoids a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Shawn to fire off the chops.

That doesn’t last long as Batista powers him down and brings in Undertaker for a quick Old School. Undertaker shoves away the right hands in the corner and gets two off the big boot. Batista comes back in but misses an elbow, allowing the tag back to Cena. Undertaker is right back in as well and you can feel the energy coming up for the showdown. Cena catches Undertaker going up top (that’s a rare one) with a superplex but Undertaker sits back up.

The right hands rock Undertaker, who drops Cena again. This time it’s Undertaker missing an elbow of his own so it’s back to Shawn, who is gorilla pressed out to the floor in the big crash. Back in and Cena makes the save, leaving Shawn to get pounded down in the corner. Shawn gets in a shot to Undertaker’s knee and starts firing off right hands in the corner, as JBL compares this to getting to see WWE vs. WCW. Egads I’d hope it’s better than that.

Batista comes in for a series of clotheslines into a headlock but Shawn manages a running DDT. The hot tag brings in Cena to start cleaning house, including the Shuffle to Batista. Undertaker breaks up the FU and fights outside with Shawn, leaving Batista to hit a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is broken up by Shawn’s shot to the knee and it’s time to take turns on Batista for a change. Cena blasts him with a clothesline for two as Cole has just stopped talking as his voice is gone. Shawn grabs a front facelock but Batista powers him off without much effort.

That’s not enough for the tag though as Cena is right there with a sleeper on the suddenly busted open Batista. The STFU has Batista in trouble in the middle of the ring, with Undertaker taking his time to make the save. It’s back to Shawn for the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a swinging Boss Man Slam. That’s enough for the hot tag back to Undertaker as everything breaks down. Undertaker beats up both of them without much trouble….until Batista spinebusters him down. Batista watches from ringside as it’s Sweet Chin Music into the FU to finish Undertaker.

Rating: B. The word for this match is big, as it felt like a match that belonged in a main event spot. It didn’t matter that there were no stakes and it won’t matter until Wrestlemania, but they got into a groove so that it felt like a match between two teams. That made Batista turning on Undertaker at the end feel important, and gives us the closest thing to a villain in the title match, even if it is more of an edgy good guy instead. Heck of a match here and a nice surprise.

Batista stares at Undertaker, who pulls himself up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show is bookended by a pair of good matches but the middle is pretty all over the place. What helps this show more than anything else is the complete lack of expectations coming in. There was no reason to expect a good show here and we wound up getting a fine one, though only the opener and main event are really worth seeing. It is time to get ready for Wrestlemania now though, and that could not come soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Bash at the Beach 1996
Date: July 7, 1996
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,300
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

This is one of the first non-WWE reviews I ever did so it is LONG overdue for a second try. I’m pretty sure you know this one, as it is built around the question of who is the third man. The Outsiders arrived about a month and a half ago and are now ready for their first match, but they need a partner. Now who is that going to be? Let’s get to it.

I do miss the WCW Home Video “And now, our feature presentation” graphic like it’s a Disney movie.

The opening video looks at the Hostile Takeover, which is the only thing that matters whatsoever.

Commentary welcomes us to the show with Dusty wanting the six man tag on first. Fair enough idea actually.

Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Mike Tenay joins commentary, thank goodness. Rey’s offer of a handshake earns him a slap in the face as Tenay talks about these two training at the same camp and hating each other as a result. They go to the mat with Psychosis slipping out of a cross armbreaker attempt but getting pulled into a leglock. That’s broken up as well as Tenay talks about how big lucha libre is in Mexico.

The pace picks up a bit with Rey getting headscissored to the floor, setting up the big suicide dive. Back in and a legdrop gives Psychosis two and the chinlock goes on. With that being a bit too boring, Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop (his future finisher) for two and a running clothesline drops Rey again, setting up a fire four necklock. That’s broken up so they head to the apron with Rey launching him into the post. A running flying headscissors (Tenay: “They call it a hurricanrana!”) has Psychosis in more trouble and it’s back inside for Rey to work on the leg.

A kneebar sends Psychosis to the rope but he is fine enough to send Rey throat first onto the top. They head outside with Rey getting dropped onto the barricade, setting up a top rope backsplash to the floor (dang). Back in and an enziguri gives Psychosis two as Heenan wants to know where Tenay learns all of these names. Rey cartwheels up into a hurricanrana to the apron, setting up the top rope hurricanrana out to the floor in a huge crash.

Back in and a springboard moonsault gives Rey two more and a springboard missile dropkick sends Psychosis head first to the floor. The springboard spinning moonsault hits Psychosis again, but Rey’s knee bangs into the barricade. Back in and Rey’s springboard hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more. Rey gets sent stomach first into the buckle and Psychosis loads up a super Razor’s Edge, which is countered into a super hurricanrana (Splash Mountain) for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but then it was all action with these two flying around like crazy. Rey snapping off hurricanranas all over the place to the point where only Tenay could keep up with them was great stuff. The other thing to remember is that this is 1996, when this kind of thing was unheard of on this kind of stage outside of about three people. Awesome opener and a heck of a match.

After explaining what we just saw, Konnan says he isn’t worried about facing Ric Flair tonight. Konnan hasn’t had time to develop any allies but he’ll take out all of Flair’s friends, including the women, to keep his US Title.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

This would be Big Boss Man (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Earthquake (who has had half of his head shaved to set this up) in a bag of silver dollars on a pole match, because that’s how WCW worked at this point. Bubba runs away to start but runs back in to get elbowed in the face. Tenta goes up but gets belly to back superplexed down for the huge crash. Now it’s Bubba’s turn to climb, earning himself a crotching. Tenta gets smart by trying to take the pole down, only to get whipped by Bubba’s belt.

Bubba tapes him to the middle rope and unloads with the belt to keep him down. For some reason Bubba only tapes one arm before going to cut more of the hair. That means a low blow to Bubba so Tenta can steal the scissors and cut himself free. Bubba is right back up with a spinebuster as Hart climbs the pole to get the bag (which is REALLY high). Tenta gets in a powerslam though and is right there to take the bag from Hart. One good shot to Bubba gives Tenta the win at 9:00.

Rating: D. Well this wasn’t exactly the same as the opener. I’m not sure why WCW would think that fans would want to cheer for an over the hill Earthquake just after he was the Shark, but I’ll assume “because WCW”. The match tried to have a few different things going on at once and most of them didn’t work, which you probably could have guessed.

Lex Luger, Sting and Randy Savage, all in face paint, are ready for the Outsiders and are all ready because they all have goosebumps.

Lord Of The Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

Page, defending in a taped fist match, has undergone a career renaissance in recent months, going from rich to poor to winning Battlebowl to losing the title shot which came with it to a lot closer to what you remember him as being. Duggan sends him outside in a hurry but gets shouldered in the ribs for his efforts. A neck snap across the top takes Duggan down again and Page tapes his legs around the post.

Referee Nick Patrick unhooks it though, making that a bit of a waste of time. Duggan is right back to knock Page into the ropes and out to the floor, setting up a suplex back in. Another suplex is blocked though and Page takes him down by the arm. Page goes up top but gets crotched (Dusty: “SOMEBODY CALL THE FAMILY!!!”) and Duggan starts hammering away again. They go outside but Page kicks the ropes on the way back in, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. This didn’t work in the slightest and I’m not at all surprised. Page was on his way up but he still had a long way to go before he meant anything. You could see the effort there though and that is a great thing to see. Duggan….dang it he can be hard to like in WCW at this point, but it’s hard to not like someone who could be that goofy.

Post match Duggan is right up to wrap tape around his fist and knock Page silly.

The Dungeon of Doom is ready for the Horsemen, with Kevin Sullivan being ready to show that he is not the weak link. Giant, the World Champion, is ready to crush everyone in front of him. Gene Okerlund thinks Jimmy Hart needs to brush his teeth.

Arn Anderson wants to see what happens to the Outsiders, even though he is not a fan of Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage. As for tonight, he is ready to win the tag match and get a World Title shot to bring it back to the Horsemen. Chris Benoit is ready to leave Kevin Sullivan for dead.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Double Dog Collar match and dang it I forgot how annoyingly catchy Public Enemy’s theme is. During the Boys’ entrance, Tony points out that they have a large variety of matches on this show and he is absolutely right. That’s something a lot of other promotions could learn from, even if they won’t. Johnny Grunge and Brian Knobbs are chained together and fight to the floor, with Jerry Sags and Rocco Rock following in a hurry.

It’s time for a trashcan (complete with trash for some bonus points) and thankfully we go split screen. Knobbs and Grunge fight up to the beach set, featuring Grunge being beaten with a rubber shark. Sags hits Rock with a surfboard (Tony: “You can do much more with a surfboard than with a rubber shark.”) but Rock climbs a lifeguard stand to flip down onto him. Rock sends Sags through the stand but he is back up to grab a table. Said table is thrown at Rock as we go single screen since they are all together.

A piledriver in the aisle gives Sags two with Grunge making the save. Grunge fights off of the table but gets hit in the head for his efforts. Sags is put through the table for two and it is time for everyone to head back to the ring. Rock sets up another table and goes up but Sags pulls him onto the table, which does not break as Rock bounces off. Sags wraps the chain around his arm and drops an elbow on Rock onto the table….which still doesn’t break. Grunge gets hung with the chain and Rock is sent into the stretched chain for the pin at 11:37.

Rating: D+. Your individual tastes may vary here but my goodness I miss those themed sets. There was sand, a lifeguard chair, a boardwalk and of course the rubber shark. Those things add so much to a show like this and that was certainly the case here. Do something like that and make the show feel special, as it isn’t like you see this very often anywhere these days.

Post match the brawl stays on with Sags being knocked off the apron and through the toughest table of all time.

We aren’t sure where Eric Bischoff is (he didn’t show up for the pre-show) and Gene Okerlund talks about all of the tension backstage. Ignore the Cruiserweight Title match graphic popping up as he talks.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko

Disco, in a lot of orange and carrying a gold record, is challenging and promises to dance after he wins the title. Malenko starts fast and knocks him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. A posting puts Disco down again and the leg lariat gives Malenko two back inside. We’re already off to the Figure Four necklock as this is one sided so far. A belly to back suplex drops Disco again and we hit the kneebar.

Malenko lets that go and dropkicks him in the back of the head, setting up an STF. With that broken up, Malenko grabs a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Disco manages to slug away in the corner though and grabs a Stroke for two of his own. They go outside again though and Disco is sent hard into the barricade. Back in and a double armbar goes on as Tony has to explain what it means to “thwart” something.

Disco stretches rather far with his feet to escape again and elbows Malenko down in the corner. The middle rope ax handle sets up a neckbreaker for a slightly delayed two. A swinging neckbreaker lets Disco dance for a second before covering for two more. Malenko catches him with a springboard dropkick but the Texas Cloverleaf is countered into a small package for another near fall. A backslide doesn’t work and Malenko has had it, meaning it’s a tiger bomb into the Cloverleaf to retain at 12:08.

Rating: C+. I think you can call this one a shocking near miracle as Disco was a complete goon most of the time but he was working here and almost pulled off a miracle. He was a good bit away from meaning anything, but at least he put in a heck of a performance here. Malenko was his usual good self and the perfect person to help make Disco look better.

Joe Gomez vs. Steve McMichael

McMichael (Mongo, with Debra, with her dog) is still new to the wrestling thing but this is a weird choice for a pay per view match. Some chops have Gomez in trouble but a backslide gives him two. Gomez manages to send him into the corner but Mongo gets the most obvious low blow imaginable (there was no way the referee didn’t see that). The beating is on with Mongo ramming him into the buckle and grabbing a reverse chinlock (Mongo: “NOW I GOT HIM!”).

The sleeper goes on but Gomez jawbreaks his way to freedom. A neckbreaker gives Mongo two but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for the same. Mongo’s powerbomb is countered with a backdrop and they screw up a sunset flip to give Gomez two more. Mongo has finally had it with this and hits his Tombstone (the one move he could do well) for the pin at 6:37 (ignore Gomez’s foot under the rope).

Rating: D. It’s only that high because of Mongo’s lack of experience but there were more problems than just that. The match was WAY more competitive than it should have been and made Gomez look like a bigger deal than Mongo. Throw in how sloppy it was (again, understandable) and the fact that this was actually on pay per view instead of on Nitro (with half the time) and this was a near disaster.

Ric Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, says you can never have enough trophies in your career and it’s time to win the US Title. Then the Horsemen can win the tag match so Flair can win the World Title tomorrow and you know what that means: LA CUCARACHA! Then they can have a private party, with Woman being rather interested in having Gene Okerlund there. That was always a weird deal, but Woman made it work.

US Title: Konnan vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, is challenging. We actually get a handshake to start until Flair takes him into the corner for a WOO. Konnan headlocks him down but they’re right back up, with Konnan hitting a dropkick. A slap to the face rocks Flair and another headlock takeover has him in trouble. Of note: Dusty says he has been in the ring with Konnan, which is something I need to see.

The surfboard goes on to make Flair scream again and Konnan kicks him in the back to make it even worse. There’s a gorilla press and it’s time for Flair to take a breather on the floor. Konnan clotheslines him off the apron but a Woman distraction lets Flair take over for the first time. Back in and Flair pokes him in the eye so the referee yells, allowing Woman to come in for a low blow. Now it’s Elizabeth offering a distraction so Flair can throw Konnan over the top (with Woman pulling the rope down).

Back in and the chinlock goes on but Konnan fights up and hammers away in the corner. A triangle dropkick puts Flair on the floor and it’s time to beg off back inside. Flair punches his way out of a sunset flip but the Figure Four is countered into a small package. Now Konnan gets his own Figure Four, drawing more Flair screaming. Flair grabs the rope and scores with a suplex, only to get slammed off the top (the classics never die).

The rolling clothesline gives Konnan two and there’s the abdominal stretch rollup for the same. That’s enough to draw Elizabeth onto the apron for a distraction, allowing Woman to hit Konnan in the head with the high heel. Flair covers (with feet on the ropes because he’s a villain) to win the title (for the first time since 1980 and the sixth time overall, still a record) at 15:35.

Rating: B-. I was expecting a styles clash here but they had a pretty good match with Flair knowing how to get the most out of just about anyone. The women cheating to make it easier for Flair is a classic story that will always work and Konnan looks strong in defeat. Rather nice surprise here and that’s always a good thing to see.

The third man has gone into the Outsiders’ dressing room but Gene can’t make out his voice. He knows he has heard it before but he just can’t place it. For some reason he doesn’t ask any of the four security guards, instead asking Tony Schiavone who he thinks it might be. Bobby Heenan suggests asking the guards (or even bribing them) but Gene stops himself because he doesn’t want to get caught up in one of Heenan’s schemes. This has been your latest example of WCW announcers being REALLY STUPID.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Giant/Kevin Sullivan

If Benoit/Anderson win in any way, a Horseman gets a World Title shot tomorrow. The fight is on in the aisle and here is Mongo with his briefcase to jump Giant. The chase is on, leaving Sullivan here on his own….for about three seconds. Sullivan punches his way out of Anderson’s wristlock and it’s time to scrap with Benoit, as tends to be their nature. Anderson comes back in for a knee that looked a bit low, allowing Benoit to take Sullivan outside for a ram into the barricade.

Back in and the double teaming continues, as the Horsemen know they’re done if Giant gets the tag. Anderson misses a charge into the post but Benoit makes the save and hits a running elbow in the corner. Giant makes the save but Anderson grabs the abdominal stretch to keep Sullivan in trouble.

It’s time to work on Sullivan’s leg as I try to get my mind around the idea of Sullivan fighting for a hot tag. Sullivan manages to catapult Anderson into the corner to crotch Benoit and there’s the tag to Giant. Benoit and Sullivan fight into the aisle and then the announcers’ area, leaving Anderson to get chokeslammed for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. It was much more of an angle than a match but there was certainly a good story being told. The idea that the Horsemen knew they were in trouble against the Giant meant that they had to keep Sullivan down made sense, as did Giant wrecking things as soon as he came in. Giant was rapidly improving at this point and you could see that he was getting the hang of things in a hurry.

Post match Benoit dives off of the set onto Sullivan as the beating continues. They had back to the ring (after Giant made a rather fast exit) with Benoit wrecking Sullivan. Cue Woman to call him off but the Giant makes the real save. Giant carries the out cold Sullivan off.

Long video on the Hostile Takeover, which really did feel like the biggest thing to happen in a VERY long time. The Outsiders kept appearing and even powerbombed Eric Bischoff off the stage at the Great American Bash. The idea was to present the team as….well as outsiders, and they made you believe that these guys were here to wreck things. I didn’t know what exactly was going on, but I knew it was great. They set this up to perfection and even at eight years old, I needed to know who the third man was going to be.

Outsiders/??? vs. Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage

The Outsiders, coming to the ring to some generic music (probably for the only time ever in a bit of trivia that no one ever wondered about), have no third man to crank the drama up even higher. Before Team WCW comes out, here is Gene Okerlund to ask the Outsiders what is up. They confirm that the third man is here but they can handle it themselves for now. Tony: “THEN COME OUT HERE AND KICK THEIR TEETH IN RIGHT NOW!!!” Team WCW is all painted up together for a nice touch.

Luger starts with….the yet to be named Scott Hall (“This Outsider” according to Tony) and takes him into the corner where Sting tries a Stinger Splash. That crushes Luger in the corner and he’s out cold, meaning he is being stretchered out (Now THAT is a great red herring!). Hall goes extra evil by stomping away while Luger is on the stretcher and Tony bothers to name (at least last name) the Outsiders. Sting hammers Hall down in the corner and the fans are WAY into this.

Savage comes in but gets punched out of the air, allowing Nash to get in a shot of his own. Hall gets knocked into the corner though and Nash comes in legally for the first time. Savage unloads in the corner but gets knocked down without much effort. The jumping elbow…I think misses, even though it made contact. Sting comes in and gets elbowed in the corner, setting up the boot choke. Tony brings up the question of why no one has come out to take Luger’s place, which I believe qualifies for a “because WCW”.

It’s back to Hall for the fall away slam and Nash adds the big boot. Sting gets in a shot to Nash’s ribs and a small package gets one on Hall. That’s not enough to bring Savage back in though and Hall grabs the abdominal stretch (and Nash’s hand to make it worse). Nash comes in for his own abdominal stretch, setting up Hall’s sleeper. With that not working, the big side slam gives Nash two but Sting strikes away. The diving tag brings Savage back in and commentary/the crowd is right back into it.

Everything breaks down and Nash gets in a low blow on Savage. Things are looking bleak….and here is Hulk Hogan. Heenan gets in the famous “BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON”, which is still perfect for Heenan and not a spoiler like some have suggested. Hogan clears the ring, turns around, and drops the leg on Savage, revealing himself as the third man. We’ll call it a no contest at 16:52.

Rating: C-. This is just for the match and ignoring the ending. They had to take someone out of the match for the sake of keeping it 2-2, as putting the Outsiders at a disadvantage would mess everything up. The best thing about this is that Hall and Nash can wrestle a good match with anyone and it isn’t like the two of them vs. Sting/Savage was going to be bad. It was a bit dull at parts, but this is a case where 95% of the match means absolutely nothing and that is perfectly fine. The ending was all that mattered here and it worked better than anyone could have dreamed.

Post match we get some more legdrops, allowing Hall to count a pin on Savage. Hulk N Pals clear the ring, including kicking Sting to the floor. Commentary freaks out with some great lines, including Tony thinking this was all planned back in 1994 when Hogan debuted (not true of course, but absolutely something that would fit if they wanted to go that way).

Gene Okerlund gets in the ring for the famous interview, with Hogan telling the fans they need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. Hogan talks about how these two came from an organization up north and no one knows more about it than him. He became bigger than the organization and then Ted Turner promised him everything he could want. Well now Hogan is bored, so he wants these two as his friends because they are the new blood of wrestling.

They are going to destroy everything in their path and all the trash in the ring represents the fans. For two years, Hogan did everything for the charities and the kids, but then the fans booed him. Well those fans can stick it, because they wouldn’t be here without him and Eric Bischoff would still be selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis. Hogan: “I was selling out the world while they were bumming gas to put in their car to go to high school.” The New World Organization is running wrestling and whatcha gonna do? Tony signs off, saying Hogan can “Go to h***. Straight to h***.”

Where do you even begin? The first thing is that they actually did it. They actually turned Hulk Hogan, the biggest face in his generation heel. That’s hard to fathom but they did it. Not only did they do it, but they absolutely nailed it, as the fans were stunned by what they saw and responded accordingly. This absolutely holds up and it did exactly what it needed to do, as Hogan is completely fresh and WCW has their hottest angle…..ever.

As for what Hogan said, I don’t think you can argue with it hitting the right chords. Hogan acknowledging that he was booed by the fans and not really knowing how to handle it fits the whole thing perfectly as Hogan always was an egomaniac but could get away with it because the people loved him so much. Much like Austin joining the Alliance in 2001, I’m not sure I get the idea of turning on WCW and thereby fighting the same people you’ve been fighting before as a change of pace, I’d call that minor at best.

This is one of those moments in wrestling and it has absolutely deserved that right. You can’t praise it enough and you certainly can’t argue with how it went immediately thereafter. Hogan absolutely needed this turn to save his career, because the last year and a half had been so bad with him being pushed so hard. It opened up a new world, it was a great promo and it took me a few weeks to comprehend what happened as a kid. To say this holds up would be an understatement and it deserves all the praise that it gets.

Overall Rating: C-. Ignoring the huge main event angle, this was the usual up and down WCW show. You had the talented people turning in good matches but the lower half was its usual drek. That being said, WCW absolutely needed this show and it was absolutely the turning point for the company. As Vince McMahon said after Austin won the title, nothing that happened before tonight matters anymore and everything starts now. Not a great show, but the one point that matters worked very, very well.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: February 2, 2007
Location: Houston, Texas
Attendance: 15,156
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and Undertaker is the only person on his way to Wrestlemania. He doesn’t have an opponent for the show yet though and Batista is the only World Champion he hasn’t stared at yet. Ignoring the fact that there are three World Champions to pick from, it is time for the blue champion to have his turn. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and staring at John Cena and Bobby Lashley, despite Shawn Michaels saying he’s going to Wrestlemania too.

Opening sequence.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Finlay

Benoit is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Finlay drives him up against the ropes to start but gets slapped in the face twice. A clothesline gives Finlay two but Benoit pulls him down into a leglock. Some shots to the face have Finlay in more trouble so he pulls Benoit in by the arm to escape. Finlay forearms him down and grabs a chinlock, which doesn’t last long.

Benoit sends him to the apron and then out to the floor, where Finlay sends him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Finlay working on a half crab, which he doesn’t turn over. Finlay lays on the leg to pull on it some more and then cannonballs down onto it for a bonus. The knee is bent around the post and now we get the full on half crab. Benoit grabs the rope for the break and kicks Finlay in the face for a bonus.

Some chops stagger Finlay but the knee gives out on a suplex attempt. The good leg catches Finlay with an enziguri though and Benoit rolls the German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and Finlay grabs a near fall. Finlay pulls the turnbuckle pad off and then goes to grab the Leprechaun….but something pulls the Leprechaun under the ring. Cue the Boogeyman to steal said Leprechaun, allowing Benoit to grab a rollup to retain. Cole: “What is going on?”

Rating: B-. This was rolling along until the ending and that’s a problem around WWE far too often. The ending was a mess as we set up Boogeyman vs. Finlay over the Leprechaun, which is one of those things that doesn’t make a ton of sense and I’m almost scared to hear the explanation. The match itself was good, but just assume a time limit draw and stop watching.

Post match the Leprechaun escapes from Boogeyman and refuses to go back under the ring. The Boogeyman scares him though and Finlay throws him back under.

Vickie Guerrero, now sans neck brace, isn’t sure what is next for her around here. What she does know is that the working conditions around here are unsafe. She isn’t sure what is next for her but there is an opportunity that interests her.

Deuce And Domino vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title with Cherry and Ashley here as well. Kendrick rolls Deuce up to start and it’s off to London for a front facelock. London and Kendrick start working on the arm but a Domino distraction lets Deuce get in a cheap shot. Domino comes in to hammer away, setting up a hard knee to the face for two. The armbar goes on with an elbow in London’s face, followed by some forearms to the back. Deuce hits a dropkick but London kicks his way out, allowing the hot tag off to Kendrick. Everything breaks down and the running knee to the face puts Kendrick away.

Rating: C. The more I see from these guys the more I like them, and then having them beat London and Kendrick is an even bigger deal. I could go for pushing a fresh team after London and Kendrick have dominated the division for the better part of a year. This was the least bad idea from a storyline perspective, as it isn’t like there is another team for Deuce and Domino to beat at the moment.

Batista comes in to see Teddy Long and wants to know what Undertaker is doing at Wrestlemania. He’ll find out by the end of the night.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the ring, with a local government official presenting Booker with the key to the city. Booker has a speech ready, which includes him saying he is better than the other celebrities from Houston, including Walter Cronkite and Roger Clemens. Did Cronkite ever beat Big Show and John Cena on the same night??? Booker keeps going, with Sharmell’s facials agreeing facials are making it even better.

The government officials kiss Booker’s ring (doesn’t seem to be their taste) but Booker needs to go talk to ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons. Booker wants him to kiss the royal feet, which isn’t happening. Instead, here is Kane to clear things out, including beating up the officials, because lawsuits do not exist in wrestling. That’s actually a fresh match for a change and I could go for it.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Vito

Vito slaps away to start but gets knocked into the corner and stomped down. The dress is ripped off and Kennedy beats Vito, in his regular trunks, into the corner. The Green Bay Plunge finishes Vito in a hurry.

Post match Kennedy grabs the dress to choke Vito.

JBL gets to host a bikini contest between Ashley, Jillian Hall and Krystal. Ashley and Krystal disrobe but Jillian reveals a short shirt and shorts instead. Rather that wearing a swimsuit, she sings Oops I Did It Again instead. Ashley wins and Jillian gets stripped.

Maryse welcomes us back from a bathtub.

Here’s the same Undertaker video that opened the show.

Mr. Kennedy complains to Teddy Long that he had Batista beaten at the Royal Rumble. Long doesn’t like it but gives Kennedy what he wants: a rematch next week.

Miz vs. Matt Hardy

Matt works on the arm to start and a hiptoss has Miz frustrated. A headlock doesn’t last long on Miz as he drop toeholds Hardy to the floor. Miz sends him into various things, including back into the ring for some left hands. Hardy fights up again and hits a middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Side Effect gets two but Joey Mercury sneaks in for a cheap shot with his mask, setting up the Mizard of Oz to give Miz the pin.

Rating: D+. So yeah, the story gets to continue because these guys have to keep fighting. They’ve had a few matches now and while the story with the nose makes sense, I’m not sure if it has the legs to make something like this go much longer. Miz getting the win is a good thing as it isn’t like Matt needs to beat him.

Here is Batista, who wants an answer from Undertaker. Batista has heard all about the Streak and how Undertaker can’t be beaten at Wrestlemania. He welcomes the challenge though….and here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena says he isn’t here for a fight because he has had a weird week. He won the Tag Team Titles on Monday (doesn’t have the belt) but then almost got superkicked by Shawn Michaels.

It’s Wrestlemania season and everyone wants to go after the title and then when it can’t get worse, BONG. Cena was on the wrong end of the coldest stare that he has ever seen and now he needs to know what is coming at Wrestlemania. The gong strikes and thirty seven hours later, Undertaker is in the ring. Undertaker stares at Cena, then he stares at Batista….and here is Shawn Michaels (without the Tag Team Title either).

Shawn says Undertaker won the Rumble but what did that prove? They’re the same kind of person and they both thrive on competition. Shawn is challenging him for a match with the Wrestlemania title match on the line. Undertaker doesn’t say anything because here is Vince McMahon to interrupt. Vince doesn’t care what Shawn or the fans want because they’ll want what Vince wants, when he tells them they want it. We’re not getting Shawn vs. Undertaker, but we can have Cena/Michaels vs. Batista/Undertaker. No decision is made on Wrestlemania, but they’re making it pretty clear.

Overall Rating: C. Much like ECW, the important thing here is that the show felt big. This felt like a show on the Road To Wrestlemania and a lot of that was due to the star power. At the same time though, a lot of the positives came from things actually happening. This show felt important and that is not the kind of feeling you get very often around here. It wasn’t a great show, but it felt like the start of something important and that’s good enough.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: January 26, 2007
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and I’m really not sure what they are going to be able to do to fill in two hours this week. Last time felt like a show that didn’t need to exist and I have a bad feeling that we are going to be seeing even more than that this time. Hopefully we get a little something good in there but there is only so much Deuce and Domino can do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at how Mr. Kennedy became #1 contender and then fighting Undertaker in a rematch. Kennedy attacked World Heavyweight Champion Batista on commentary, drawing him in for the DQ in a very smart move.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. Batista starts fast by driving Helms into the corner and boots him out to the floor. Some choking ensues on the outside but Helms goes to the eyes to escape. Back in and Batista shoves him out of the corner but a few shots to the head put Batista down. The eye is still messed up as Helms drops a leg. Some right hands to the eye set up three straight near falls but Batista is back up with the spinebuster. The spear into the Batista Bomb finishes Helms.

Rating: D+. This was much more frustrating than bad, as there was no reason for Helms to lose here. With all of the talented wrestlers WWE has, there was NO ONE ELSE to take this loss other than the heavily damaged Cruiserweight Champion? There wasn’t a second option for this one? This has been done far too long now and it is beyond old at this point. If nothing else, it makes JBL sound stupid for praising him over and over with Helms losing so often.

Miz vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we see some clips of Benoit winning the 2004 Royal Rumble. Benoit takes him into the corner to start and Miz hits the hide button. With that broken up, Benoit hits a running elbow for two and kicks away in the corner. A headbutt into a backbreaker gets two but Miz is back with a neckbreaker. The neck crank goes on to slow Benoit down and a slam gives Miz two. We’re right back to the neck crank but Benoit drives him into the corner for the chops. Benoit isn’t having this and headbutts away, setting up the Swan Dive for two as Miz gets a foot on the rope. The Crossface is good for the tap a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Well at least the champ didn’t lose. It wasn’t much of a match though as Benoit beat Miz up, took a few shots and then won with his signature stuff. Granted that’s about exactly what should happen here as there is no reason whatsoever for Miz to be a threat to Benoit. I’ll take that over another champion losing at least.

Deuce and Domino and Cherry make sure their car is ready. These three are gems, with Deuce being rather annoyed at the possibility that the backstage guy is looking at Cherry.

Maryse, with champagne, welcomes us back from a commercial in French.

Deuce And Domino vs. Adam Evans/John Robinson

Cherry is here too and takes her sweet time taking off the guys’ jackets. Robinson and Deuce start things off and it’s a shot to the mouth to put Robinson down. Domino comes in to talk a bunch of trash as Cole talks about being bullied in high school. It’s off to Evans, who gets kneed in the head and sent outside. Deuce isn’t pleased with Evans being near Cherry so it’s back inside to Domino to keep up the beating. The assisted running boot to the face knocks Evans silly for the pin.

Rating: C-. Again, probably the most entertaining people on the show at the moment. They got to have another complete squash here and it worked out fine, with the focus being on just getting the idea over instead of doing anything important. The division needs someone new and this worked well for what it was supposed to be.

MVP tells Teddy Long that his match with Kane tonight is unsafe and the burns on his back are all Long’s fault. Long: “First of all, I want you to quit breathing on me.” If MVP doesn’t wrestle tonight, he isn’t in the Rumble on Sunday. MVP seems to change his mind.

King Booker vs. Finlay

The Leprechaun pokes his head out during the entrances and Queen Sharmell joins commentary. Booker seems to get in an accidental poke to Finlay’s eye to start so we pause for a bit just a few seconds after the bell. With the eye seemingly ok, Booker takes him down by the arm and starts hitting Finlay in the face. Finlay comes back with his own thumb to the eye and some shots to the throat to put Booker down. There’s the jumping seated senton for two, setting up the chinlock.

Back up and Booker hits his hook kick to the face for two. Finlay isn’t having that and takes him down by the leg to crank away. Some cannonballs onto the leg keep Booker in trouble so Finlay wraps it around the rope. The leglock goes on and you can get the feeling that Finlay likes to hurt people like this. Booker fights up with right hands and a kick to the face to drop Finlay, setting up an elbow drop. They ram heads in the corner though….and the Leprechaun goes after Sharmell. The Leprechaun tries to drag her underneath the ring but Booker makes the save. The brawl is on in the aisle and that’s a double countout/DQ.

Rating: C. There is something about the way Finlay beats people up that makes it so much fun. He just looks mean and it is fun to watch him pull on a limb. I can also go for the idea of not having Finlay lose, as Booker is on a downward trend since he lost the title. Let Finlay get a bit of a boost instead of bringing Finlay down to boost Booker up again for a week or two.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Ashley vs. MNM

London takes Nitro down to start as I love how frequently the Brand Extension rules are just forgotten. Nitro can’t do much with London other than sending him to the apron, where Melina breaks up a springboard to put London in trouble. Mercury comes in to take over on London but it’s right back to Nitro for a faceplant.

London can’t quite fight out of the chinlock but he can flip out of a double suplex and bring in Kendrick to pick the pace way up. Kendrick clears the ring but Melina breaks up a dive. That’s fine with Ashley, who spears her down (with a heck of a spear), leaving Kendrick to dropkick Mercury for two. In the melee, the Snapshot is enough to finish Kendrick.

Rating: C. I like both teams so this worked out well. It would be nice to have MNM want to go after the titles not, but I can’t believe that is actually going to happen. This was a fine use of a few minutes though, with talented wrestlers getting the chance to showcase themselves a bit. Commentary even stopped talking about Ashley’s Playboy for a bit to take the match seriously!

Here’s Mr. Kennedy, but first we see the opening video again. Kennedy talks about beating the Undertaker again last week and now it is time to beat Batista again to become World Champion. Kennedy brags about how great he is and how no one can stop him but here is Batista to interrupt. Batista offers him a chance for another slap….and then the gong goes off. Undertaker appears in the ring but his big boot hits Batista by mistake. Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind though, which certainly fits for him.

Maryse tells us to keep watching.

Vladimir Kozlov is in negotiations with all three brands. He would win the Royal Rumble if he had the chance to compete though. Also, he loves WWE.

Kristal comes in to see Teddy Long and hits on him. Long thinks she looks good and she leaves, with Vickie Guerrero replacing her. Vickie needs to talk to him about something but he must be busy with Kristal. Long isn’t sure what to do.

Video of Kane eliminating eleven people from the 2001 Royal Rumble.

Kane vs. MVP

MVP tries to circle him but Kane gets in a shot to the back to cut him down. Some shots to the bad back have MVP in a lot of agony and Kane elbows him in the corner. There’s a knee to the back complete with leg cranking to make things even worse. Kane rips the gear open to get at the bad back a bit more and MVP needs a breather on the floor. Back in and MVP gets in a shot to the face to choke away on the ropes.

Right hands on the mat keep Kane in some trouble and a bit shot puts Kane on the floor. That’s fine with Kane, who hits an uppercut but gets sent into the steps. Back in and Kane unloads in the corner, setting up the side slam to bang up the injuries even more. There’s the top rope clothesline to put MVP on the apron, setting up a dropkick to his back. With nothing else working, MVP grabs a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Mainly a squash here but that isn’t the biggest surprise. The problem is we have established that Kane can dominate MVP and I’m not sure how many more times we need to see it. They did keep it a little bit shorter here though and that is a good idea given what they have done so far.

Post match MVP chairs him down again and grabs a can of gasoline. Kane sits up and kicks him in the face to take it away though, sending MVP running.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Battle Royal

Kane, MVP, Chris Benoit, Miz, King Booker, Finlay

Kane goes straight for MVP for the whole attempted burning alive thing. The brawling continues around the ring with Booker down near the ropes. The Leprechaun slips Finlay the shillelagh to hit Kane in the back and that’s good for the first elimination. Benoit and Booker brawl to the floor without being eliminated, leaving MVP and Miz to not be able to get rid of Finlay.

Everyone gets back in so Miz hits MVP in the back to slow him down. We get some teases of people going through the middle rope before MVP wises up and tries to put Finlay over the top. MVP kicks Finlay out tot he apron as we hear about Shawn Michaels winning the WWF Title at the 1997 Royal Rumble. Finlay backdrops Miz out….and there’s the gong again. Undertaker appears and starts wrecking people….and keeps doing it for several minutes as this kind of keeps going. I’m assuming the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: D. This was a bunch of sitting around waiting until Undertaker got here and that made for a pretty big waste of time. I’m not sure what they were going for with this, but they could have cut off a few minutes to make it that much better. It just seems like they were out of time and it was a bunch of filler until the end….which went on for a long time too.

A bunch of finishers from Undertaker allow him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They had an idea for the show but it really wasn’t working throughout. The big deal was setting up the Royal Rumble and that was fine, as long as you have something that is a little bit more interesting. The show wasn’t very good, but the Royal Rumble is on Sunday and none of this matters as soon as that show starts. Not a good show, and that really doesn’t make a difference.

 

 

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Hog Wild
Date: August 10, 1996
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the more unique shows that you’ll see as we are outside in front of a bunch of bikers. I’m sure they will be a completely acceptable crowd with no problems or distractions whatsoever. We’re also just into the NWO era and Hollywood Hogan is getting the World Title shot against the Giant. Let’s get to it.

Of note: there were EIGHT Saturday Night matches before the pay per view went on the air, so the bikers might be a little bit sick of wrestling already.

We open with a look at the Sturgis Rally, with no matches mentioned whatsoever.

Tony, Dusty and Bobby…..are dressed in biker gear with more jokes available than I can possibly fathom.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Dragon (it says Ultimate everywhere else so that’s what we’ll go with) is challenging and has Sonny Onoo with him. Tony asks Bobby where his tattoo and dew rag are and I begin to have nightmares. Thankfully Mike Tenay joins commentary to tell us that this is the first ever meeting. Dragon takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled into a leglock. Back up and Dragon gets in a shot of his own for a breather into a standoff.

A spinwheel kick drops Rey, sending Dusty into one of his funny rants about move names. Neither can hit a headscissors and we have another standoff. A spinning kick to the chest drops Rey again and there’s the handspring elbow in the corner. The running Liger Bomb doesn’t even get a cover as Dragon grabs a Figure Four of all things instead. With that broken up, Dragon hits his spinning torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker, followed by the surfboard.

Heenan makes jokes about Cesar Romero and Desi Arnaz as Rey gets out and hits a springboard dropkick out to the floor. There’s a baseball slide to knock Dragon off the platform into the dirt, with Rey hitting a HUGE springboard dive (with the camera mostly missing it) to take him down again.

Back in and a springboard hurricanrana keeps the crowd popped but another springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Rey is knocked outside so Dragon hits a slingshot dive to take him down again. They head back inside with Dragon hitting a moonsault for two but Rey catches him on top with a super hurricanrana to retain at 11:36.

Rating: B-. It’s a good opener and both of them would go on to be able to do some far better stuff, but this wasn’t exactly the blowaway match I was expecting. They did their high flying stuff but Rey didn’t really go nuts and Dragon was more about striking and grappling than high flying. What they did worked well enough though, including managing to impress a non-wrestling crowd.

Gene Okerlund, also looking like a….well what WCW thinks a biker looks like, shills the Hotline.

We talk about the rally some more.

Ice Train vs. Scott Norton

They used to be partners as Fire & Ice but then split up. I like Ice Train but is there a reason his name sounds like a Mad Lib? Train also has a bad shoulder coming in to give Norton a target. Norton powers him into the corner to start and chops at the bandaged shoulder, showing that he is at least moderately intelligent. The slugout goes to Norton, who cuts him down with another shot to the shoulder. A rake to the eyes and some more shots to the face send Train outside, where the shoulder is sent into the post.

Back in and Train manages a slam with the good arm. Since it’s just a slam though, Norton chops him down again and cranks on the arm. Train gets up and actually drops Norton with some chops but Norton does it a good bit better. The armbar goes on and Norton drops a leg on the arm to make it even worse. Back up and Norton charges into a powerslam for two but he’s fine enough to hit a clothesline. A Fujiwara armbar makes Train give it up at 5:07.

Rating: D. The match made sense but it wasn’t quite the most thrilling thing in the world. Train had a bad shoulder so Norton went after it over and over. That should be an easy way to go, but you can only get so far with a bunch of chops. Not a very good match, though who was expecting much out of the battle of Fire and Ice?

We get a video from Ric Flair, talking about how serious the NWO is now that they took out Arn Anderson. That is Flair’s best friend, and WCW is his other best friend. The NWO is in trouble now because the Horsemen are involved. That should have been the easiest idea in all of WCW and they managed to screw it up.

Hey look: bikers!

You can get Hog Wild merch!

Madusa vs. Bull Nakano

This is Bike vs. Bike, with the winner getting to destroy the loser’s motorcycle. Wouldn’t that make either winner a heel for this crowd? Nakano’s manager Sonny Onoo and Madusa ride in on the motorcycles, leaving Nakano to just look scary. Nakano jumps her fast with a nunchuck and Dusty LOSES IT over the attack.

Madusa gets bent around the middle rope and a double ax handle to the back puts her down. The USA chants start up and Madusa grabs a chair takedown. Nakano is right back with what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock, followed by a hard slam. We hit the chinlock as commentary talks about how strong Nakano is.

Back up and Madusa snaps off a hurricanrana for two and a spinwheel kick to the face gets the same. Another kick misses and Nakano blasts her with a clothesline for two of her own. Madusa’s bridging German suplex gets two more and Nakano hits something similar for the same. A not great looking sunset flip gives Madusa the next near(ish) fall but Nakano grabs the belly to back suplex, with only Madusa getting her shoulder up for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. They were bringing the power game here and it was miles ahead of anything else women were doing in America at this point. The problem was the sloppiness in some points (including the ending), but given the atmosphere they were working in, there was only so much you could expect. Still though, rather hard hitting match as you would have expected.

Post match Sonny Onoo grabs the sledgehammer to go after Madusa’s bike. This goes as well as you would expect it to, as Madusa takes it away and destroys Nakano’s bike instead.

The Steiners are chatting on CompuServe. I don’t think Rick Steiner knows what he is doing.

Commentary thinks we’re going to Gene Okerlund. We’re not going to Gene Okerlund.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Jimmy Hart tries to come out with Dean Malenko, who isn’t interested. Benoit on the other hand has Woman and Elizabeth with him. They jaw with each other a bit to start until Malenko takes him down and hammers away. Benoit kicks him in the ribs to take over but Malenko gets in some boots of his own. A suplex gets two and we hit an early chinlock as Heenan goes into some weird analogy about birds. Benoit fights up and chokes on the rope as Tony has to bring commentary back to the match from their NWO discussion.

A back elbow gives Benoit a few near falls and they go to the pinfall reversal sequence. Malenko wins the battle over a backslide for two as Woman screams a lot. The short armscissors has Benoit down but he muscles Malenko up and drops him down for the break. There’s the snap suplex for two as the fans do not exactly seem thrilled. An abdominal stretch goes on but Malenko grabs the foot to escapes and flips him over.

Commentary talks about how we are coming up on a new millennium and these two could be the future. Eh kind of with one of them. Back up and they hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown to get a breather. Malenko goes up but gets knocked out of the air, setting up another snap suplex. The Swan Dive gives Benoit a delayed two and it’s time to fight over a Tombstone until Malenko plants him for a few near falls.

Benoit charges into a boot in the corner but is fine enough to counter a Texas Cloverleaf attempt into a small package for two. They fall out to the floor in a double heap with Malenko blocking a posting by hitting one of his own and it’s time to go back inside. Benoit catches him on top with a heck of a superplex and they’re both down again. Malenko hits a release German suplex for two more as the fans (or more like people who happen to be here) just do not care.

A hard clothesline gives Malenko two as Heenan tries to figure out how many holds Malenko knows (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background taking notes). Benoit slams him down and grabs the Liontamer (Chris Jericho can be seen in the background furiously taking notes) but Malenko makes the rope. A victory roll gives Malenko two and another backslide gets another two. Benoit runs him over for two more but Malenko catches him on top for a superplex. There’s a powerbomb to Benoit but time expires at 20:00.

Actually hang on as we’re going to get a five minute overtime, which the bikers DO NOT like. Benoit jumps Malenko at the start of overtime and grabs the Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring. After over a minute, Benoit lets it go, which seems rather unlike him. Malenko’s leg is done so Benoit kicks away and cranks on said leg on the mat. Some Ric Flair Cannonballs onto the leg set up another hold but Malenko reverses into a cradle as overtime expires.

We get ANOTHER five minute overtime and the bikers boo this out the non-existent building. Malenko snaps off a dragon screw legwhip but Benoit is back up with the dragon suplex for two. Benoit misses a dropkick and gets Cloverleafed, with Malenko switching it into an STF. Woman tries to help Benoit make the rope so Malenko goes after her, allowing Benoit to grab a rollup for the pin at 28:13. The replay shows him grabbing the rope for a bonus, because he is in fact a Horseman.

Rating: B+. You can go a few different ways with the thinking here. On the one hand, it’s a great match with two guys going at it for the better part of half an hour in a pretty bad spot. On the other hands, the fans didn’t care and the wrestlers failed to get over. There might be something to the latter, but consider the situation these guys were in.

These bikers didn’t pay to see a wrestling show. They’re here to see Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage and people from the WWF ten years ago. Benoit and Malenko are small guys they’ve never seen before and don’t care about having a pretty long match. You’re supposed to make the fans happy, but I’m not sure if these people qualify as fans as much as they are just people watching the matches because they’re there. This match was great though so I’ll go with the “these bikers are pinheads” and move on.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Harlem Heat, with Sheri and Colonel Parker, is defending and the fans do not seem thrilled with them. Everyone stalls for a good bit to start as commentary talks about the NWO. Scott and Booker officially start, with the latter being honked at a lot. The bikers go so nuts that Booker bails to the floor before coming back in to shove Scott for the first contact nearly two and a half minutes in.

Scott isn’t having that and hits a butterfly powerbomb, followed by a quick suplex so the Steiners can clear the ring in a hurry. Back in and Scott shoulders Booker down and a gorilla press makes it worse. The ten right hands in the corner rock Booker and he bails to the floor for another breather. This time it’s Stevie coming in to hammer on Scott, which actually works this time.

Scott runs Stevie over with ease, allowing the tag to Rick for a chinlock. Stevie gets up so Rick Steiner Lines him back down as this is totally one sided so far. A rake to the eyes into a side slam drops Scott as Sherri is shouting about having a nervous breakdown. That is only going to get worse as Scott hits a spinning belly to belly for two more. Rick comes back in for a suplex of his own and a “SHUT UP B****” to Sherri. Stevie gets in a cheap shot from the apron to finally slow the Steiners down for a bit.

A clothesline sets up a chinlock but Rick pops up for his weird powerslam. That’s enough to bring Scott back in for an STF of all things before Rick comes back in for his own chinlock. Stevie fights up though and Booker low bridges him down to the floor to really put Rick in trouble for a change. Back in and Booker’s side kick only crotches him on top but Stevie makes the fast save. Stevie comes in to strike and choke away, followed by a big boot to put Rick down again.

It starts getting dark so the lights come on, meaning more engine revving as Booker grabs a chinlock. Rick fights up so it’s a Spinarooni into a side kick for no cover, with Dusty kind of complaining without actually saying anything negative (as Dusty tended to do). Booker misses a middle rope knee though and Rick makes the easy tag to Scott. Everything breaks down and Parker throws powder in Booker’s face by mistake. Since she seems to know Parker is a moron, Sherri is right there to throw it in Scott’s eyes as well. A cane shot to the head is enough to finish Scott at 17:53.

Rating: C. This was a longer match and that was both a good and a bad thing. The Steiners were both getting a bit slower at this point, with Scott being so muscular he looked like a cartoon. That does not make for better long form matches, though a major title match should get the extra time. It also didn’t help that the Steiners dominated for so long, but I could watch the Steiners throw people around for hours at a time, making it a rather enjoyable domination. In other words, I’m all over the place on this one and we’ll go with right in the middle.

Heenan sounds a bit, ahem, out of it on the replays. Wouldn’t surprise me actually.

Here’s a look at wrestlers on motorcycles.

Here’s a look at the rally.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Woman and Elizabeth, is defending. They fight over a lockup into the corner until Eddie knocks him outside in a hurry. Back in and Eddie grabs a headlock but Flair belly to back suplexes him down with a weird landing, possibly hanging up Eddie’s arm. Eddie comes back in and gets dropped again, only to nip right back up. Flair’s poke to the eye and chop put Eddie down again as the sun is starting to set.

Back up and some rapid fire shots rock Flair in the corner and Eddie rains down some right hands. Flair gets tossed outside and a running clothesline puts him on the floor again. Back in and Woman offers a distraction so Flair can get in a low blow, allowing Heenan to make a chili joke. Eddie’s sunset flip doesn’t work so he grabs a Figure Four to put Flair in some trouble. That’s broken up so Eddie runs up the ropes into a hurricanrana for two more.

Flair goes up and comes crashing back down to give Eddie another near fall. The second sunset flip attempt (thanks to Flair’s trunks coming down and a kick from the referee) is good for two so Eddie goes up top. The frog splash connects but Eddie bangs up his knee, meaning it’s time for the regular Flair selection. Flair grabs the Figure Four and, thanks to Woman grabbing Flair’s hands, Eddie is pinned at 14:29.

Rating: B. Like this wasn’t going to be good. Eddie was nowhere near the star he would become but you could see the abilities in the ring. You could see that Flair was giving him a lot here too in an effort to get over though, which was always one of Flair’s greatest strengths. This was one of the best things on the show so far, and it was nice to see both of them doing their thing so well.

Jimmy Hart (looking weird without glasses) and Giant are ready for Hollywood Hogan tonight. Hogan told the fans to stick it, but Giant is going to stick his hand around Hogan’s neck for a chokeslam. Giant has gotten miles better at promos in the last year.

Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger

For reasons I still don’t quite get, Sting and Luger were champs until June but lost them to Harlem Heat, who traded the titles with the Steiners and Public Enemy (winning the titles three times in just over three months) instead of just having the Outsiders take the titles from Sting and Luger here. If nothing else, it would have given them a heck of a visual to end the show and the Outsiders winning the titles was inevitable anyway.

Anyway Hall (thanks to a game of Rock Paper Scissors) and Luger start things off with Hall working on a top wristlock. That’s broken up with straight power so Hall mocks Luger a bit, as only he can. Nash comes in and, after a bit of a tease, Luger brings Sting in as well. An exchange of shots to the face has Nash rocked a bit but Sting can’t slam him. More rights and lefts stagger Nash though and a poke to the eyes allows the slam.

Since it’s just a slam, Nash is right back up with Snake Eyes to take over and Hall comes back in for the corner clothesline. Heenan continues to sound bombed as he says he doesn’t care who wins here. Hall and Nash start taking turns beating on Sting, with Hall getting in the quality taunting that he does so well. A heck of a clothesline in the corner drops Sting and Nash comes in for the boot choke. Sting starts fighting back with that unique style of striking of his but it isn’t enough to get over for the tag. Instead it’s a collision to put Nash down, allowing Sting to fall down for the low blow.

Hall cuts off the tag, earning a COME ON HALL from Heenan. Tony: “WHAT???” Even Heenan doesn’t seem to get that one, which shouldn’t be that surprising. Sting backdrops his way out of the Outsider’s Edge attempt and the hot tag brings in Luger. Everything breaks down and Sting gets the Scorpion on Nash on the floor. The torture rack attempt knocks down referee Nick Patrick, who staggers right into Luger’s knee. A fast count gives Hall the pin at 14:34.

Rating: C-. The match was a bit dull but what hurts it more than anything else is the lack of stakes. I know it’s a big match for the Outsiders to get the pin over two of the biggest names in WCW, but how much better would this have been if the Outsiders had won the Tag Team Titles here? The match wasn’t exactly bad, though it could have been a lot more all things considered.

Heenan didn’t think the count was fast, as he still isn’t all there (throw in the slurred speech and I don’t think there is much doubt about what is going on).

WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan

Giant, with Jimmy Hart is defending, but first we need a long introduction about how amazing the bikers are, because motorcycles are cool or something. Hogan, the biggest heel in the world at the moment, gets the biggest face pop of the night. And they actually came here THREE MORE TIMES because Bischoff really, really loves motorcycles. It’s also fun to see Hogan still doing a lot of his face stuff as he doesn’t have the heel version entirely figured out yet.

Hogan hits the stall button to start and Heenan is loving the fact that he gets to rip on Hogan and have everyone admit that he’s right after all these years. Back in and Hogan hammers away in the corner to no effect so it’s time for more stalling on the floor. Hogan gets inside again and this time gets tossed right back to the floor as they’re firmly in first gear. A headlock is countered into a belly to back suplex to put Hogan on the floor again as it feels like we’ve been here before.

Giant wins a test of strength until Hogan fires off some kicks to the ribs, again earning a huge cheer from the bikers. The comeback is on and Giant gets him down to his knees as we are seven minutes into this thing. A top wristlock drives Hogan down but he grabs the hair to set up an armbar. The double arm crank goes on as it’s bizarre to see Hogan using all of these holds. Giant fights up so Hogan pulls him down by the hair. Back up again and three headbutts put Hogan on the floor.

That’s fine with Hogan, who pulls Giant outside and hammers away but Giant kicks him down back inside. A backbreaker gives Giant two but the big elbow misses. Hogan gets in some right hands…..and Giant Hulks Up, complete with shaking and the finger point. Giant hits a big boot and loads up the chokeslam but has to deal with the invading Outsiders. That’s enough for Hogan to get in a belt shot for the pin and the title at 14:53 in one of the most obvious results you’ll ever see (and that is not a bad thing).

Rating: D. Not only was the crowd all over the place (but the WCW guys got to ride motorcycles so it’s cool) but the match was a lot of Hogan stalling and very slow motion moves. Giant Hulking Up was a nice touch but that was about the only positive here. There was zero doubt about who was winning here and you absolutely had to put the title on Hogan, but it wasn’t an easy path to get there.

Post match the celebration is on, with Booty Man coming out in an NWO shirt with a birthday cake for Hogan (whose birthday was the next day but close enough). We hear about their 22 year friendship and Hogan says they have been like blood. Hogan talks about how he is going to beat Ric Flair at Clash of the Champions, mainly because Flair keeps mixing business with personal.

The NWO doesn’t do that though…..so “get him boys”. The beatdown is on and Hogan asks what he’ll do to Flair if he’ll do that to his brother. With that out of the way, we get the NWO spray painted on the title, which wound up being a pretty big deal. Of note: Giant laid there for about seven plus minutes while the NWO did their thing. Screw the legdrop, as that’s the most amazing belt shot ever.

Commentary is upset and scared of what is coming.

Roll credits, over a shot of a motorcycle of course.

Overall Rating: C+. The atmosphere was certainly unique, even if you discount the annoyance that was the bikers doing their own thing all night. The wrestling itself was pretty good for the most part and the two main event matches did enough of what they were supposed to. It’s not a great show but the post match event deal with the spray paint was certainly a big deal. Thrown in Heenan being bombed live on pay per view and there are worse options out there for a nearly three hour show. Oh and bikers, because motorcycles are the coolest things EVER. Eh Bischoff can explain it better than I can.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 19, 2007
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to put the finishing touches on the card. This year’s show has taken things in a slightly different direction by just having the majority of the field announced without much in the way of talking about it on screen. Other than that, Batista is getting ready to defend against Mr. Kennedy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat after becoming #1 contender last week. There were sixteen men trying to beat the clock but Kennedy was the only person who could pull it off. He beat Chris Benoit in five minutes and Miz of all people lasted that long against the Undertaker. People accuse him of cheating but who wouldn’t have done what he did?

After beating six World Champions, it is time for him to win the title, but here is Teddy Long to interrupt. Long congratulates Kennedy for his win last week, but tonight is a little different. Tonight, Kennedy is going one on one with the Undertaker, and if Undertaker wins, we’ll make the Royal Rumble a triple threat match.

Maryse welcomes us back.

We look at Matt Hardy accidentally blowing up Joey Mercury’s face at Armageddon, followed by Mercury jumping Hardy for some revenge.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Mercury starts fast with a cheap shot so Hardy goes for the bad face, sending Mercury running into the corner. Hardy is patient enough to hit a clothesline but it’s too early for the Side Effect (you never go with the signature that soon). They head outside with Mercury sending him into the steps to take over, followed by some choking in the corner. A snapmare sets up a chinlock but Hardy is right back out with a jawbreaker. Now the Side Effect connects and the middle rope elbow to the head connects. The Twist of Fate is countered into a tiger driver which is countered into a rollup to give Hardy the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two worked well together and there is a personal story to give them a reason to fight. This is a good example of taking something that happened and letting them fight each other because it makes sense. That is the kind of thing you don’t see enough of these days and it worked just fine here.

Post match here’s Johnny Nitro to jump Hardy, setting up a Snapshot on exposed concrete. That’s what you call escalating quickly.

Post break, here’s exactly what we saw before the break.

Miz is bragging to Layla and Ashley about what he did to Undertaker and knows he could have won with more time. Kane pops up and running ensues.

Kristal tries asks Vickie Guerrero about the feud between Chavo Guerrero and Chris Benoit but Vickie wants to talk alone in the locker room. Ok then.

Video on Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit.

MVP/Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Vito

This could be different. Ashley is here with the latter and MVP is still taped up. It’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to London monkey flipping Regal. Vito comes in but gets kicked in the ribs, allowing MVP to come in and send him into the buckle. Back up and Vito is fine enough to hit a slam onto the banged up back but Taylor comes in to hammer away.

Regal and MVP take turns on Vito until he manages a rollup for two on Regal. Choking puts Vito back down in the corner as JBL refers to Vito as “her”. MVP has to cut off a hot tag attempt but a jawbreaker allows the hot tag off to Kendrick to clean house. Everything breaks down and London dives onto Taylor. Kendrick loads up Sliced Bread on Regal but MVP catches him in an Emerald Flosion for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match I can go for most of the time: take some people and put them into a combination you don’t see too often, as it will give you something fresh for a change. You don’t get to see MVP vs. London or Kendrick very often so mixing it up a bit can do some good. Nice little match too, with talented people doing their thing.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit is defending and this is No DQ. Chavo starts smart by kicking Benoit low and snapping off a Saito suplex. With Benoit down, Guerrero unhooks the top and middle buckle pad but gets dropped onto the top rope for taking too long. Benoit tries the Crossface but Chavo rolls outside, only to get Crossfaced out there anyway. That’s broken up and Chavo’s chair shot hits the post.

Back in and the Crossface goes on again with Chavo having to roll out again. Another chair shot is cut off by a backdrop but Chavo whips him chest first into the exposed buckle for two. Now the chair shots can connect, including Chavo driving the chair into Benoit’s neck. A flying armbar onto the open chair gets two but Benoit is right back up to send him outside.

Benoit hits a dropkick through the ropes and sends Chavo hard into the barricade. Chavo staggers over to the timekeeper and nails Benoit with the belt though and it’s time for Three Amigos, including suplexes onto the belt and the chair. The frog splash only hits chair though and Benoit gets two. Now it’s Benoit suplexing Chavo onto the belt but he misses the Swan Dive, banging up his shoulder again in the process. Chavo grabs the chair but gets pulled into the Sharpshooter for the tap to retain the title.

Rating: B-. The matches have been pretty good but it is time to wrap this one up. Chavo has now lost to Benoit several times now and Benoit needs a fresh challenger. They did something with the stipulation here so it did make sense in the situation. Hopefully we get to see something new for both of them now, as their rather nice feud should be over.

Batista is excited for the main event and is going to be ringside.

Mr. Kennedy complains about the main event so Jillian Hall suggests that she go talk to Long.

Deuce And Domino vs. ???/???

So now we get a new team in the form of Deuce And Domino, a pair of greasers who come out in an old car with a woman named Cherry, who blows bubblegum and wears roller skates. You know, for all of those people in 2007 who were nostalgic for the 1970s version of the 50s.

Before the match, the team introduces themselves, thankfully not talking like Fonzie to match the looks. Domino mentions that Cherry is his sister and Cole mentions that she is dating Deuce. The other team gets jumped before the bell with Deuce kicking away. A running kick to the seated head finishes for Deuce in a hurry. Total squash but it’s kind of hard to get your head around the gimmick, which I think I like.

Mr. Kennedy yells at Teddy Long, who just recaps the idea of the main event. I’m assuming they just needed to fill in a minute with anything here.

Maryse welcomes us back.

Kane vs. Miz

Kane unloads with shots to the face to start but the big boot misses. That doesn’t really matter as Kane is right back with a backbreaker, followed by some knees to the back in the corner. The logical bearhug goes on but Miz fights his way out and goes up, only to dive into a boot to the face. The chokeslam is good for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s all it needed to be. There is no reason to believe that Miz is going to be a threat to Kane and it isn’t going to hut him to take a loss here. They didn’t do anything beyond what they should have done here and it was an effective use of about four minutes. Kane can move on to the Rumble and Miz can annoy someone else, as he should.

King Booker interrupts Krystal talking to Teddy Long. He isn’t happy about not getting a title shot but he’ll win the Royal Rumble and get it back at Wrestlemania. Long is fine with that, and puts Booker in a six man Over The Top challenge next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Batista is on commentary and if Undertaker wins, the Royal Rumble match is a triple threat. Undertaker suplexes his way out of a headlock to start and sends Kennedy head first into the buckle. Old School connects early and Undertaker is annoyed by a kickout. Kennedy avoids a charge and hammers away but gets sent outside. A bit of pummeling ensues and we take a break.

Back with Undertaker hitting a headbutt but Kennedy fights his way out of a superplex attempt. Undertaker sits up though and it’s time to stalk Kennedy on the floor. Back in again and Kennedy gets smart by dropkicking the knee. Kennedy cranks on the leg but Undertaker uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom. They head outside again with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps.

The knees are fine enough to send Kennedy back first into the post and there’s the apron legdrop for two. The Last Ride is broken up and Kennedy goes right back to the knee. Undertaker’s knee is fine enough to hit Snake Eyes into the big boot to knock Kennedy outside, where he shoves Batista. Back in and the chokeslam is loaded up….but Batista charges in to spear Kennedy for the DQ because Kennedy is smart.

Rating: C. The match was just kind of there but the ending was really smart with Kennedy understanding that he can’t beat Undertaker on his own but he can avoid him being in the title match. That’s the kind of thinking you don’t see often enough and it worked really well here. Good, smart ending as we’re not ready for Undertaker vs. Batista just yet.

Undertaker glares down at Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Given that the show had very little to do with changing up the Royal Rumble, this was still pretty good with the smart ending and Deuce And Domino debuting. Other than that, we had a show that was mainly a placeholder as we move towards the pay per view. Enough stuff happened here and that is often enough to make a show work out.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: January 12, 2007
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

This is a bit of a weird show as it is part two of the Beat The Clock Challenge. Last week we had a bunch of people trying to set the fastest time with the winner getting to challenge Batista for the Smackdown World Title at the Royal Rumble. Tonight we have even more people trying to do the same so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mr. Kennedy likes his chances with a time of 5:07. That’s a pretty long time actually.

Beat The Clock: Finlay vs. Matt Hardy

The clock is set at 5:07. They start brawling on the floor with Finlay getting the better of things and taking it back inside for one. Hardy grabs a rollup for two and hits the running corner clothesline into the bulldog for the same. Finlay’s backslide gives him two of his own but they collide for a double knockdown. It’s Hardy back up first with a pair of Side Effects for two each but Finlay breaks up the third. Instead Hardy takes him down and goes up, only to be distracted by the Leprechaun. Finlay uses said distraction to hit him in the knee with the shillelagh. An Indian Deathlock goes on but time expires at 5:07.

Rating: C. They were beating on each other rather well here and it felt like they were both trying to win the match. That’s how the match should go and it made sense, though there is only so much quality you can get in such little time. On top of that, it doesn’t make Finlay look great when he can’t win a match in five minutes with interference and a weapon shot.

Post match here is Joey Mercury to blast Hardy with a chair over and over like a bit of a mad man.

Post break, Mercury says he is going to go after Hardy until their faces look alike. That’s quite the threat.

Tatanka vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Rematch from last week’s surprisingly good match. Yang hammers away at the bell to send Tatanka outside for a breather. Back in and Yang jumps him again but this time it’s a whip into the corner so Tatanka can pound him down for a change. A few kicks to the back set up a chinlock to keep Yang in trouble, followed by a suplex for two. Tatanka hits a shoulder in the corner and grabs another chinlock but Yang jawbreaks his way to freedom. Some kicks to the face stagger Tatanka and it’s a crossbody into a neckbreaker for two. A spinwheel kick lets Yang go up but Tatanka pulls him down into the End of the Trail for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not as good as last week but at least Tatanka got a pin. Granted this was his last match in WWE so it isn’t like it matters that much. Tatanka asked to be released the following week and was let go, which makes a bit of sense. There wasn’t much of a role for him, but he wasn’t a total disaster or anything close to it. Just not the right time for him, so this was probably the best idea.

Maryse, in the shower, welcomes us back to the show.

Clips of the four team ladder match from December, with Joey Mercury’s nose exploding.

Chris Benoit vs. Mr. Kennedy

Non-title rematch from last week where Kennedy won. Benoit wastes no time in taking Kennedy around the ring to start and sending him into the buckle. A backdrop sets up a snap suplex for two on Kennedy but an elbow to the face cuts him down. Benoit is right back with the German suplex to send Kennedy outside, but Benoit throws him back inside. That earns him a toss to the floor with a pull of the trunks, setting up a few slams on the floor.

Back in and Kennedy drops an elbow for two but Benoit snaps off the northern lights suplex for two of his own. The rolling German suplexes connect but here is Chavo Guerrero for a distraction as we take a break. Back with Chavo on commentary and Benoit having to go to the ropes to get out of an armbar. That means a suplex over the top to put both of them on the floor for the big crash. They get back in with Kennedy whipping him into the corner for two, setting up the abdominal stretch.

The referee does his job for once and catches Kennedy grabbing the rope so Kennedy drops Benoit ribs first onto the top rope for two. Back in and Benoit manages to send him into the corner for a breather. Benoit heads up top but gets superplexed right back down for another near fall. Kennedy picks him up but Benoit snaps him down into the Crossface attempt, sending Kennedy bailing out to the floor.

Back in and Kennedy has to punch his way out of the Sharpshooter attempt, followed by a backbreaker to put Benoit down for a change. Another Crossface attempt is broken up in a hurry so Benoit rolls the German suplexes for two instead. The Swan Dive connects for a delayed two but Kennedy flapjacks him onto the top rope. There’s the Regal Roll and Kennedy goes up top, where he has to shove Benoit back down.

A missile dropkick gives Kennedy two but the Kenton Bomb misses. That means Benoit can hit five straight German suplexes and the Sharpshooter goes on this time. Cue Chavo for a distraction so Benoit tries the Sharpshooter on him as well, only to have Kennedy roll Benoit up with the tights for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match despite the fairly eye roll inducing ending. Benoit vs. Chavo is done already and I’m not sure why they are keeping it going. Kennedy continues his rise to the top and it would not surprise me to see him hold on after how they have set him up here. Good match too, and one of the better ones in recent memory on Smackdown.

Post match Benoit beats up Chavo, who bails to the floor.

We see another part of the career history of Batista, including his comeback to become World Champion again. As usual, WWE is really good at this stuff.

Tag Team Titles: William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

London and Kendrick, with Ashley, are defending. Joined in progress after a break with Taylor headlock takeovering Kendrick to grind away a bit. A monkey flip into a dropkick gets Kendrick out of trouble and it’s off to London as we start plugging Ashley’s Playboy. Regal comes in and gets double suplexed, followed by a top rope double stomp to Regal’s back.

Cole actually gets in a smart question by asking how the APA would have dealt with London and Kendrick. See how easy that can be? Taylor comes back in to slam London down and a suplex gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a tag back to Taylor for a chinlock of his own. Make that another chinlock from Regal and then a quickly broken dragon sleeper from Taylor.

London charges at Regal and manages to drive him into the corner for the hot tag off to Kendrick. The pace is picked up and a middle rope crossbody hits Regal but he rolls through for two. London and Taylor go outside, leaving Kendrick to backslide Regal and retain. Regal’s scream of anger makes it that much better.

Rating: C+. Good match here, as you kind of knew would be the case. Regal and Taylor are fine challengers for the pretty awesome champs, though the problem is becoming obvious: there is no one to give London and Kendrick a real challenge, which is making things a little less interesting. Maybe a new team can come in, but for now, it is fun to watch these guys hang onto the titles in entertaining matches.

Remember when Kane burned MVP in the Inferno match?

Beat The Clock: MVP vs. Vito

The clock is set at 5:07 and MVP is taped up after the Inferno match. MVP rakes the eyes to take over to start and stomps away to put Vito down. Vito pulls him down to the mat for two as Kennedy watches anxiously in the back. A kick to the back gets two on Vito as JBL is freaking out over Vito’s dress.

Back up and Vito hits a slam into a Vader Bomb for two, followed by some rollups for two each. Vito goes for the arm but MVP kicks him down again. A running boot in the corner gets two on Vito and there’s a faceplant for the same. Vito sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two but time expires at 5:07.

Rating: C-. This went by fast but it never really felt like they were going for the win as hard as they could. What matters is keeping the overall story moving while also building something up with each match. This showed you just how banged up MVP’s ribs really are, which could give us something new in the whole Teddy Long Is A Horrible Boss deal. It was an energetic enough match, though the Vito deal is totally over already.

Post match MVP kicks him to the floor but gets dropped on his ribs for good measure.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit for the US Title in a No DQ match.

Batista is ready for anyone and he won’t sleep on Mr. Kennedy. Facing Undertaker would be cool though.

Beat The Clock: Miz vs. Undertaker

The clock is set at 5:07 and JBL is VERY happy when Miz is announced as the opponent. Miz dodges around to start but gets thrown into the corner to start the right hands. Old School gets two and the chokeslam is loaded up with 3:00 left. Cue Mr. Kennedy for a distraction so Undertaker drops him, allowing Miz to score with some dropkicks.

Undertaker knocks Miz outside and there’s the apron legdrop. Snake Eyes sets up the big boot but the referee gets bumped. Undertaker has to deal with Kennedy but comes back in for a chokeslam. Kennedy pulls Miz to the floor so Undertaker throws him back in for the Tombstone and the cover as time expires at 5:07.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t the point here, as this was about Kennedy being an annoyance to keep Undertaker from beating Miz. There is something to be said about Kennedy managing to hang in there long enough to win in the end, as it is not the kind of thing you would have expected to happen. Kennedy is fine in the Royal Rumble title shot too, so this worked out well for a story, though not so much for a match.

Kennedy is happy to win end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Just like last week, this was mainly about one idea and that worked well enough. What mattered here was setting up the Royal Rumble title match and Kennedy is a good choice for the shot. The rest of the show set up a few more things, but the Rumble itself continues to be a thing that happens to be happening. The match does not need a lot of build, but a little build might help things out.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: January 5, 2007
Location: Lakeland Center, Lakeland, Florida
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the first Smackdown of the new year and we are just a few weeks away from the Royal Rumble. That means we need to get some things ready and in this case that includes a theme show, as Teddy Long has announced the Beat The Clock Sprint. In other words, we are getting a Beat The Clock Challenge to determine Batista’s challenger for the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to get things going. As has already been announced, Long explains the Beat The Clock Challenge. There will be sixteen wrestlers in eight random matches, with whoever wins in the fastest time getting the World Title shot against Batista at the Royal Rumble. This brings out Batista (to quite the eruption) to say he likes the idea of being in the ring against the best. With that out of the way, it’s time to get things going.

Beat The Clock: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo looks a good bit nervous to start and an early rollup attempt goes rather badly. Kane powers him out to the floor where Chavo isn’t sure what to do. Back in and a slam into a jumping legdrop gives Kane two, followed by another trip to the floor. Chavo gets in some stomps on the way back in and sends Kane into the steps for his first breather. Back in and Chavo hits a dropkick between the shoulders, setting up a headscissor choke to keep Kane in trouble.

That’s broken up in a hurry but Kane’s suplex is countered into a DDT. That just makes Kane sit up and the real beating is on. A running clothesline in the corner sets up a side slam but the chokeslam is broken up. Instead Kane backdrops him down and puts Chavo on top. That is broken up as well though and Chavo hits the frog splash….with Kane catching him by the throat for the chokeslam and the pin at 7:53.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much drama there was here but it is nice to have some kind of stakes on the match. That time isn’t going to last for more than a match or two but at least they had something simple and to the point here. Kane beating up Chavo worked, even though Chavo’s offense wasn’t exactly the most convincing.

Maryse, in limited clothing, welcomes us back to the show.

Beat The Clock: Paul London vs. Brian Kendrick

The clock is set at 7:53 and what a coincidence. They trade quick rollups to start and Kendrick grabs a headlock. This gives JBL a chance to talk about drinking with Faarooq as Batista is watching in the back. London’s headlock is countered into a headscissors and Kendrick grabs a headlock takeover of his own. They trade some more near falls until London tries to force Kenrdrick’s arms down for a cover. London’s double underhook doesn’t work either as Kendrick backdrops him for two.

You can hear the BORING chants as they get up for a standoff. Kendrick tries an O’Connor roll but gets sent outside for….nothing actually. Back in and they hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown. Another exchange of rollups goes nowhere as Kendrick falls out to the floor. Back in and Kendrick grabs a headlock with less than a minute to go. That doesn’t last long so they try some rollups for two each as time expires.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one and there were times where they came off as rather dumb. Why would you grab a headlock in a timed match with less than a minute to go? On top of that, JBL wasn’t even screaming at them for being stupid. This was going off the style of they know each other so well and are mirror images of each other, which might make for a nice idea but it rarely works well in practice.

Post match Ashley comes out to make sure everything is cool, allowing JBL to plug her Playboy appearance. Again.

JBL is in the ring for a chat, as he continues to rant about Teddy Long ruining Smackdown. We see another clip of the Inferno match with MVP’s back being burned, plus some photos of MVP’s burned back. Cue MVP to thank JBL for speaking for him, as he was busy being in the hospital and all that jazz. Then he heard about the Beat The Clock Challenge and knew he had to come back and get his shot at the title. That’s why he’ll be here next week in case Long is willing to put him in the competition. This wasn’t exactly a heel promo as it’s kind of hard to take issue with MVP being mad about being SET ON FIRE.

Beat The Clock: King Booker vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title, Queen Sharmell handles Booker’s introduction and the clock is set at 7:53. Booker wastes no time (because he’s smart) by clotheslining him into the ropes as, again, Batista looks on. Helms escapes a suplex and hammers away but Booker grabs a spinebuster for two.

Booker hits a superkick and strikes away in the corner but Helms is back with some forearms. Helms wraps the leg around the rope and hammers away in the corner until he is dropped throat first across the top. Another kick to the face gives Booker two but Helms gets fast and hits a quick middle rope dropkick. A high crossbody/forearm gives Helms two more and he dodges the ax kick for a bonus. Sharmell offers a distraction though and it’s the side kick into the ax kick to give Booker the win at 6:24.

Rating: C. This was a weird one but both guys felt like they were trying to win as fast as they could here. It is nice to see people being smart in a match like this for a change as that has not quite been the case so far. Again though, can we PLEASE get rid of the Cruiserweight Title already? It is very clear that WWE does not care about it so drop the thing before it makes Helms look even worse.

Post match Booker and Sharmell leave so here is the Boogeyman to plant Helms again. Boogeyman worms him to make it worse.

We gt a pretty long video on Batista, looking over his entire career from the Deacon days to Evolution to the injury to the return to get the title back. This was pretty good.

Ashley vs. Jillian Hall

During the entrances, Jillian talks about wanting to destroy Ashley’s pretty face. Jillian takes her down to start and rips at the face a bit. A running knee hits Ashley in the face but she gets a boot up in the corner. Ashley headscissors her out of the corner but walks into a powerbomb for two. Not that it matters as Ashley grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show again.

Beat The Clock: Tatanka vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

The clock is set at 6:24 and JBL is all over the cowboy vs. Indian story. Tatanka jumps him to start but walks into a rollup and a neckbreaker for two each. A sleeper doesn’t work very well on Tatanka as he powers out and gorilla presses Yang outside for a crash. Back in and it’s something like a pumphandle slam into a suplex into a backbreaker for two each on Yang.

A few kicks get Yang out of trouble though, including a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The comeback is so strong that Yang’s chaps fall apart. Yang goes up but gets suplexed back down as the time is starting to wrap up. A slam gets two on Yang but he is right back up with the moonsault press as time expires.

Rating: C. I wouldn’t have bet on this working but they had a pretty nice match here. Tatanka isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire but he can wrestle a good enough power style. Yang is quick enough to hang in there with most opponents and they pulled out a pretty shocking match here. Not great, but what kind of expectations would there have been coming in?

Post match, Tatanka beats Yang down again.

Vickie Guerrero talks about how Chris Benoit caused the problems between herself and Chavo Guerrero. Everyone has turned their backs on her and now she has nothing. Crying ensues.

We recap the Challenge matches so far.

Here is Mr. Kennedy to talk about how he is sports entertainment. I think he means he’s going to win.

Beat The Clock: Mr. Kennedy vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and the clock is set at 6:24. They grapple into the corner to start with Kennedy actually getting the better of things. A whip into the corner puts Benoit down for two as we see Batista watching in the back. There’s another whip into the corner for two more as this is one sided so far. Benoit grabs a quick rollup for two but the Sharpshooter is countered into Kennedy’s own near fall.

The Kenton Bomb hits raised knees and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. The Swanton misses though and Kennedy takes a turnbuckle pad off. Benoit snaps on the Crossface, with Kennedy going straight into the rope. Back up and Benoit is sent into the exposed buckle to give Kennedy the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C. This was kind of a weird match as Kennedy dominated for the most part with Benoit barely getting in any offense. I did like the recurring idea of Benoit being whipped into the corner before the big one at the end finished him off so they did have a theme to the match. This worked out well enough and Kennedy is a good potential challenger for Batista.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win but here is Teddy Long to remind us that the second half of the challenge is next week. Next week we will have MVP, Finlay, Matt Hardy and the Undertaker trying their luck, which does not sit well with Kennedy. Kennedy: “KENNEDY!”.

Commentary recaps the remaining challengers to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I love a show where there is a theme throughout the night and that was absolutely the case here. They had a good show with almost everyone working on the same angle. It was a smart idea to have something like this as the year starts, as it isn’t like the title match is going to mean given that it is at the Royal Rumble. Simple and to the point here, which might not be exciting, but it is rather safe and that is not a bad thing from time to time.

 

 

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