ECW on TNN
Date: July 7, 2000
Location: The Odeum, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

For once ECW actually has built up a big match for this show as Sandman is challenging Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. We’re also nine days away from Heat Wave, meaning it’s almost time to start something fresh, assuming that’s actually done in this promotion anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the matches taped for Hardcore TV before this show went on the air.

Gorgeous George (just George here in ECW) is in the ring to start but Francine runs out and blasts her with a cane. See, it’s her house and she’s the Queen of Extreme and all that jazz. Not Jazz but jazz.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are in the ring and IT’S CYRUS COMING OUT TO YELL AT JOEL AGAIN! Cyrus does his thing so Joel brings out Spike Dudley (remember he used to manage the Dudleys) despite Spike’s knee being horrible at the moment. Spike blames Cyrus for deporting Super Crazy, stripping Rob Van Dam of the TV Title (I’m sure Van Dam could have fought on a destroyed leg/ankle) and having Rhino break Spike’s leg. Cue Rhino to prevent Cyrus’ death and here’s Pitbull Gary Wolfe to fight for Spike.

TV Title: Gary Wolfe vs. Rhino

I’m assuming this is a title match but Wolfe spends too much time setting up a table in the corner, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore. A piledriver through the table retains Rhino’s title. I actually like them making this a match instead of just a quick beatdown. It’s not like it hurts anything.

Raven is upset and Styles is shocked that he’s here. He works here Joey.

Recap of Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn, the latter of whom may or may not be part of the Network.

Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn baseball slides him into the barricade and they’re brawling in a hurry. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Tajiri down and sends us to a break. We come back with Tajiri grabbing a hammerlock with his leg wrapped around Lynn’s neck. Cue Cyrus dressed as Jerry’s trainer (because reasons) as Lynn comes back with a great looking German suplex.

A tornado DDT gets two on Tajiri and a superplex makes things even worse. As you might expect, Tajiri comes back with a kick (a missile dropkick in this case) but Jerry sends him outside. Jerry claims an elbow injury so Tajiri puts him in an octopus hold. A little mist gets rid of Cyrus but Tajiri puts him in the Tarantula just in case. Cue Steve Corino to kick Lynn in the face, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending was pretty badly telegraphed as everyone was so sure that it was going to be Lynn and then DUN DUN DUN, it’s actually Tajiri. I’ve heard worse ideas but they didn’t do the best job of hiding this. At least the match was hard hitting and entertaining though and that’s an improvement.

Justin and Francine are in the back and Credible is drooling over his belt. Sandman won’t take it from him tonight.

We see a clip of Simon and Swinger beating down the new Dangerous Alliance last week on Hardcore TV.

Simon and Swinger vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Doring and Roadkill taking over on both teams. Nova and Chetti start firing off the kicks to the much bigger Roadkill, only to have to deal with Simon and Swinger. Roadkill hits the always cool double clothesline off the top but here’s CW Anderson (of the Dangerous Alliance) to clean house. A quick Simonizer (reverse DDT) eliminates Nova and we’re down to two teams. Doring and Roadkill clean house until Doring takes WAY too long on the top, allowing Chetti to shove him down. Swinger adds an implant DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. I like all three of these teams but sweet goodness they were flying through this so fast that nothing had the chance to sink in. All three teams have a lot of potential and it would be nice if they had something to fight over, but for reasons that I’ll never comprehend, Heyman decided that the titles could be vacated on April 22 and new champions wouldn’t be crowned for four months. But at least the matches are good, when they have time that is.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Sandman

Justin is defending and Dawn Marie is referee for reasons of “well, we advertised her so she has to do something.” Oh and she hates Justin to make it even screwier. Dawn and Francine start the catfight but Justin canes Dawn in the head to get rid of her. Sandman starts on the floor and sends Justin into the barricade to avoid the whole wrestling thing.

That’s the perfect time to bring in a wooden pallet for an actually successful whip across the ring. Justin whips him into it for a change and the referee (not Dawn) is bumped. Sandman hits a hurricanrana (not without some pelvic thrusts into Justin’s face of course) and here’s Dusty Rhodes to count the two. Dusty fights off Corino and Victory and leaves, allowing Francine to just unload on Sandman with a cane.

That brings out Gorgeous George for the catfight, followed by Scotty Anton to beat on Sandman. Raven makes the save but gets a cane to the head. Those two fight to the back, leaving Sandman to toss Justin through a table in the corner. Now it’s Rhino coming in to blast Sandman, setting up That’s Incredible to retain Justin’s title.

Rating: C. Oh why not? There’s no indication that Sandman can actually wrestle and I haven’t seen any proof that Credible can do much besides swing a cane and Tombstone people so this is about as much as you can expect. It’s also ECW to a nutshell: violence, chaos and absolutely no wrestling in sight.

We’re still not done as Tommy Dreamer comes out with Jazz for a piledriver on some barbed wire to really bust Credible open to finally end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Some stupid stuff aside, it was so nice to actually get somewhere with any of the big stories, even if it was something that wasn’t much of a surprise. Heat Wave can’t get here soon enough though and the shows are getting just slightly better, though to be fair it wasn’t hard to improve over what they were doing just a few weeks ago.

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ECW on TNN
Date: May 19, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Hardcore Heaven has come and gone and almost nothing has changed. Jerry Lynn has finally pinned Rob Van Dam despite Van Dam’s friend Scotty Anton (Scotty Riggs) turning him on him to cause the loss. Other than that, Credible is still World Champion after beating Lance Storm in a pretty boring match. Let’s get to it.

Sinister Minister and Mikey Whipwreck open things up by talking about what happened at the PPV. For some reason it’s hilarious that Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff haven’t been fired yet. Somehow this is linked to Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.

Kid Kash vs. Johnny Swinger

Joined in progress. Kash flies around for a few seconds and hits the Moneymaker for the pin in maybe 25 seconds.

Big Sal and Little Guido run in to attack Kash but Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a fireball to Sal. Time for another match.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Little Guido

We start fast again with Mikey nailing a quick DDT for two but gets caught in something like an Alabama Slam for two more. A slingshot legdrop gets the same for Guido but Mikey pops right back up with the Whippersnapper for the pin. Too short to rate but it was energetic enough to work.

Joel and Joey do their intro to the show at the announcers’ area. The limerick is about drinking pearly foam and we see clips from the PPV.

RVD is annoyed that he lost to Lynn on Sunday and really hopes Lynn and Anton aren’t in cahoots.

Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Da Baldies

Roadkill and Doring attack Da Baldies in the aisle so Chetti dives out to take everyone down. Nova throws DeVito in and nails a splash for two as the attention goes to Steve Corino, talking about his war with Tajiri on Sunday. We even get a clip from the match to make sure that we know this match means nothing. Chetti nails DeVito with a kick to the face but Grimes comes in to blast Nova. He goes up for an elbow, giving Angel a quick pin. That’s fine with Nova and Chetti who pop up and hit the Tidal Wave to put Grimes through a table. Doring comes back with a double arm DDT on DeVito for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This match was a backdrop for the Corino promo about Tajiri. If you want to have a tag match then have a tag match but if you want to talk about Tajiri vs. Corino then talk about Tajiri vs. Corino. Why can’t ECW just calm down and pick something instead of bouncing all over the place?

Da Baldies go after Roadkill and Doring post match until New Jack makes the save with the usual.

Lynn says he’s better than RVD because this match was faster than Van Dam’s win last year.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible

Justin is defending and we get some Big Match Intros for a change. Before the match, Justin talks about beating Raven all over the country and stealing his woman. We cut to the announcers again where Corino is on the same rant from earlier. Joel: “Look. Tajiri!” Corino runs away. The entire shot lasted about six seconds. Anyway Justin misses a cane shot to start and Raven hammers away before sending the champion out to the floor.

We take a break with the fight in the crowd and Justin going through a table. They head back to ringside for some mic shots from Raven before going back inside for even more. A table is set up in the corner but Justin hits him low for a breather. Raven goes through the table and we stop for Francine to look at Justin’s neck. Justin drives a knee into the ribs to stop a comeback attempt and we hit the sleeper. Raven sends him out to the floor and through a table (because ECW!) but Justin grabs a chair.

Back in and Credible uses the drop toehold onto a chair before having a seat and swearing a lot. Some knee lifts have the champion in trouble but Francine nails Raven with the kendo stick. A superkick and That’s Incredible get two each for Justin but he knocks Francine off the apron. The Evenflow is countered and we get a ref bump. Now the DDT connects for no count so Raven tries a sunset flip, allowing Justin to drop down for the pin while holding the ropes.

Rating: D+. This actually wasn’t terrible once they calmed down and stopped overthinking everything. The ref bump was a bit worthless but it’s nice to see them do something besides endless interfering. Also you would think these guys would have gotten some promo time to set this up instead of just having a one off match. Finally, at least the match had more than three minutes to get going.

House show ads.

Rhino and Cyrus are in the back with Cyrus saying he’s behind the negotiations with the WWF. We close it out with Rhino issuing a challenge to anyone who wants the TV Title.

Overall Rating: D. This was a mostly weak show due to the usual breakneck ECW pace but at least the main event was good. It helps that they gave a match some time instead of just having three or four minute matches over and over again. The Corino promos got annoying in a hurry though as it felt like those moments, which didn’t lead to anything but a quick comedy bit, overshadowed the matches.

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Today is a true innovator of offense: Nova.

Nova debuted under his real name of Mike Bucci in 1992 and had some early jobber spots in the WWF, such as this one from Superstars on November 27, 1993.

Adam Bomb vs. Mike Bucci

There’s a guest ring announcer of about 8 years old who introduces Bucci as weighing 249 libs and says Bomb is managed by Marby Bippleman. Bomb throws him around with ease but avoids an elbow and goes to work on the arm. Adam drops him ribs first across the top rope and the Adam Smasher (powerbomb) ends this quick.

After some time in the indies, Bucci went to ECW as Supernova and would appear on the Hostile City Showdown 1996 card.

Supernova vs. El Puero Ricano

Supernova is a superhero here and quickly hiptosses Ricano over the top rope to the floor. A top rope flip dive puts Ricano down again and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two back inside. Ricano sends him outside for an Asai Moonsault against the barricade but the Eliminators run in for the no contest. Short but very energetic stuff while it lasted.

Things would get a bit more serious in 1998 as Nova had become part of the Blue World Order (Hollywood Nova, Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie), a parody of the NWO. Joey Styles summed the group up perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.” They would be on the card at Wrestlepalooza 1998.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge F YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat man that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying as all goodness to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

Another six man tag, this time from November to Remember 1998.

Blue World Order vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The BWO here are Nova and Meanie, as Richards realized he had that thing that people like called mainstream appeal so he’s in WWF at this point. Roadkill is an Amish guy, called the Angry Amish Chicken Plucker. This could be a really long night. They’re a new team here but they would eventually become kind of a big deal by ECW standards. Doring is about as bland as you could dream of a guy with his name being.

Nova has some unique offense from what I remember so this should be ok. And here’s Funk again with his own cameraman. There’s also a camera following Funk and his cameraman. Styles asks a great question: why are we focusing on Terry Funk when there’s wrestling going on. Funk takes over as timekeeper. Again, I get that he’s a far bigger star, but if you’re going to have these four guys out there, don’t take the focus off of them for Funk.

Yes he’s by far the bigger star and more important than all four combined, but show the guys some respect if you could. We get a lot of heel miscommunication to keep the faces in control as this is becoming a glorified squash. Ok the People’s Legdrop is kind of a cute idea but I’m still not huge on theatrical moves. Not a big deal at all though. And here’s Funk again to interfere and then put himself through a table.

Doring is setting for something but stops to do a strut called the Dastardly Shuffle. I like the name if nothing else. Ok seriously, have the match, or follow Funk. This is annoying. Joey makes me chuckle asking if Roadkill took a horse and buggy to New Orleans from Pennsylvania. That’s rather amusing. He does a Taker rope walk but misses the elbow drop he was trying.

Doring has a lot of long and drawn out names for his moves which is clever for some stupid reason that I don’t get but whatever. He and Nova are working the majority of the match which is intelligent. And now we have one of my biggest annoyances of ECW: claiming Monday Night shows steal all their moves. This is brought up by Nova doing a move called the Sledge-o-Matic. It’s a diving powerbomb where he goes to the side on the landing.

In other words, it’s the same move but with a slight twist that makes zero difference. It’s wrestling guys. People use the same moves quite often. You don’t see a right hand being called a Strangler Lewis Special do you? Now yes, ECW got ripped off more than any other company I can think of, but at times they got ridiculous complaining about it.

I mean really, can you imagine someone complaining about every tiny little thing that goes on at a wrestling show which no one else would have the sheer stupidity to notice since no one else would be such a bored and pathetic human being to think this in depth about such a thing? Can you imagine how pitiful that person really is? DANG they would drive me crazy. What’s the point of picking something apart and blowing the tiniest thing completely out or proportion?

Anyway, this match needs to end as the right lace of Nova’s left boot has a single thread sticking out and it’s driving me crazy. Nova hits a modified tornado DDT that is completely different than the one that Chavo Guerrero had been using around this time, because it was MODIFIED. The BWO wins it with a double team move where Meanie did a wheelbarrow lift into a DDT from Nova called the Blue Light Special.

And here’s Funk again to steal the spotlight, which yes I know that’s fine and the point. I have no problem with it here, but did we need to have him do the stuff during the match? Not that I can see of. Heyman comes out to calm him down. So in other words the ten minute match was all just to set up the Funk angle. Got it. Not that bad of an idea I guess as at least there was a full length match, unlike in WWE where it would have been lucky to go 100 seconds before Funk ran in, so points for that definitely.

Rating: D. It was a long squash and Funk stole the focus at a very annoying rate. I don’t get that but we’re just twenty three minutes into the show so maybe we’ll find out later. This wasn’t a very good match but it got the crowd going, which isn’t really something ECW needs as I always thought they had Red Bull IVs going into them but I get the idea.

After the group split up, Nova would hook up with Chris Chetti as a pretty solid tag team. Nova would be on Cyberslam 1999 in a singles match.

Rod Price vs. Nova

Nova is more famous as Simon Dean. Price is a big muscle guy that looks about 55 years old. Price gets taken down quickly but takes over with basic power. Snap suplex puts Nova down and Price hammers away for awhile. Nova goes to the middle rope and hits a clothesline but can’t get much going overall.

Skull Von Crush (Big Vito), who is Price’s partner, comes out to hammer on Nova a bit as well. Nova’s partner Chris Chetti comes out for the save and it’s a double brawl. Nova hits a baseball slide to Price and then the good guys fire off a pair of dives. The Tidal Wave (splash/top rope legdrop off the same corner) pins Price. Big mess but I like the Tidal Wave so this was fine.

ECW got TV soon after this and Nova would appear on the show on October 22, 1999.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Now we’ll get to the team as they had a match on Living Dangerously 2000.

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury. I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile.

They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it. Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too.

Chetti tries one and does very well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty freaking cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Another tag match from Heat Wave 2000.

Da Baldies vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

And remember, even though Nova and Chetti are the best tag team in ECW, they can’t have the tag belts because we’re not going to have tag champions for about four months. DeVito “hits” a “dropkick” on Nova as we’re actually having something close to a tag match here. Wow Chetti is sloppy. His punches more or less hit their arms. It’s his birthday though so I can’t complain that much. Well I could but whatever.

Nova misses a Swanton and Cyrus says Chetti has educated feet. I wonder who stole that from whom. Nova hits a very nice double piledriver into a helicopter bomb (think the Three Amigos but with piledrivers and a spinning powerbomb to end it). Since that’s a totally awesome move, it doesn’t end the match. The Tidal Wave ends it as I shake my head over these two never winning the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as the high flying guys were never in anything close to danger here. These guys are kind of like the MCMG in TNA at the moment but not as tandem based. Still though this was good for them as the Baldies remain completely useless yet employed.

The team would split soon after without having a title reign because ECW didn’t make a ton of sense around this time. Nova would wrestle on the last ECW on TNN show, from October 6, 2000.

Bilvis Wesley vs. Nova

Yeah see what I’m having to deal with for you guys here? Nova and Chetti, the best team in ECW for their last 15 months or so have split up with Nova as the face I think. Commercial #3 and we haven’t had a match yet. There are about 5 empty seats in the front row. Nova is dressed like the Flash here which is one of the few costumes he stuck with.

This should be a squash but it likely won’t be. He’s a bad Elvis impersonator. I mean he makes Honky look good. Joey asks Joel what his strategy is for his match with Cyrus which was five days earlier but whatever. This is just a way for Gertner to make Elvis jokes which are getting over. Nova hits a Swanton for two as this has been going for a good while now but the commentary is more interesting.

SICK enziguri by Nova and Bilvis is almost out. Nova Cain hits and the valet and the wrestler that hangs out with Bilvis break up the pin. Nova is just toying with them here for the most part. School boy gets two. Kryptonite Krunch (modified Emerald Flosion) ends it. Mostly a squash.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but it’s the last original match on this show as other than this it’s nothing but repeated matches from the PPV. This was nothing of note but Nova is always fun to watch with all of his insane offense. This wasn’t much at all though and it’s a shame that this is what the company had become.

Nova and Chetti would meet in a Loser Leaves ECW match at November to Remember 2000.

Chris Chetti vs. Nova

They were the best team forever in ECW and this is loser leaves ECW. Yeah because we need to split them up before they get too good. Dangerously, as in Lou, Chetti’s manager, runs down Chicago for some basic heat to start. Nova is Spiderman here which is better than the Flash I suppose. Nova busts out a Crossface Chicken Wing of all things. Chetti has a bad back and it gets hurt here.

Lou comes in and Chetti was faking it. What a brilliant man. The crowd is a bit dead here which is saying a lot at an ECW show. Nova is bleeding and Chetti is as well to an extent. The problem with these kinds of matches and this one in particular is that you have to have a team built up high enough to have a match like this mean something. These guys were good but only for a few months and they never won anything. That’s why this isn’t incredibly interesting.

Chetti steals Nova’s move so Nova steals Chetti’s move. Nova just goes insane with punches in the corner, beating the heck out of Chetti. And it’s chair time since this is an ECW match. The fans finally wake up a bit for this due to Nova’s insanity. I don’t think anyone ever actually liked Chris Chetti which is the biggest problem here. Nova hits a double arm DDT but Lou makes the save.

He gets nailed to a nice pop. The crowd is trying so hard to care about this match but it’s just not happening. Why were these guys never tag champions? Nova goes insane and tries rolling piledrivers. He gets two of them but Lou pops him with the phone. Nova kicking out gets a solid pop as well. Kryptonite Krunch from the middle rope ends it and Nova can stay for the remaining two months!

Rating: C-. The fans wanted to like it but this just missed so many times that it never got together. No one liking Chetti hurt it a lot like I said. Nova could have been something special but he was in midcard/tag purgatory forever. This wasn’t anything special though and it never went anywhere. Of course it’s the longest match of the night so far.

After ECW went out of business, Nova would hit the indies for a bit, including WWA Revolution in 2002.

Nova vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

Nova would be brought into OVW in early 2002 and become quite a big star, including this match against a guy who you might have heard of. I’ll throw in the pre match promo before their match on May 15, 2002.

Nova is in the ring with Jim Cornette and sounds like he’s making his debut. He talks about wanting to get into the ring with the Prototype but says he’s done it a few times already in California. Nova says he’s beaten Prototype three times already in California, but now they’re both two years better. This brings out Prototype to say he’s tired about hearing everyone talk about the next big thing in WWE, Brock Lesnar. Now this Nova guy is the next big thing. Nova wants a fight right now and we get a bell for a title match.

OVW Title: Nova vs. Prototype

Nova hammers away to start and takes Prototype down into a front facelock. A sunset flip gets two on the champion and Nova hammers away with right hands and a hurricanrana. The fans think this is boring for some reason. Prototype comes back with a slam followed by a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Nova accidentally bumps the referee and Prototype’s manager Kenny Bolin throws in the briefcase for a hard shot to Nova’s back. It’s only good for two via a new referee and we take a break.

Back with Prototype nailing a hard clothesline and stomping away in the corner. Another hard clothesline gets two and a vertical suplex gets the same. A big side slam gets yet another two count but an atomic drop sends Nova bouncing off the ropes and the second referee gets bumped. Nova nails Kenny Bolin and the first referee comes back in.

A hard shoulder to the ribs has Prototype in trouble and a big kick gets two. Nova plants him with an STO and gets two more off a top rope elbow. Prototype kicks out of a rollup and a Nova crossbody puts the referee down AGAIN. Sean O’Haire runs in to jump Nova but he rams both heels into each other. The Kryptonite Krunch (White Noise) is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It was a bit overbooked but it still worked well enough for the most part. It makes Nova look like a star and that’s all you need to do with something like this. Prototype would be gone from the promotion soon after this as he debuted on Smackdown under his real name: John Cena.

Nova would be a big force in OVW for over two more years before FINALLY debuting in WWE under a totally new gimmick: Simon Dean, a fitness expert. You know, because why bother using the character that worked all those years when you can turn him into an over the top comedy character? Dean would have a match on Raw, December 6, 2004.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

In 2005, WWE held an ECW reunion show called One Night Stand. At the end of it, a big brawl broke out and JBL beat the living tar out of Blue Meanie in a shoot. Instead of firing JBL, this was the payoff, from Great American Bash 2005.

Mexicools vs. BWO

Oh where do I begin. Ok so the Mexicools are Juvy, Psicosis and Super Crazy as really stereotypocal Mexicans (ride lawnmowers, carry rakes etc). The BWO is here because at One Night Stand, JBL legitimately beat up Blue Meanie. WWE gave Meanie a job for like two months so he didn’t sue them. This is their only match of note. The BWO comes out on big wheels for absolutely no apparent reason. American Chopper joke maybe?

Juvy vs. Nova starts us off. Things break down and the BWO takes over. Psicosis finally hits a corkscrew plancha to take over on Nova. Back to Juvy as Nova gets beaten down. He Hulks Up (NWO parody remember…..in 2005) and Cole messes up the BWO’s names. Hot tag brings in Richards who cleans house. Side slam gets two on Psicosis. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a moonsault onto Richards followed by a guillotine legdrop by Psicosis for the pin.

Rating: F. This was on PPV. Once you get that through your heads, you’ll get why this was a failure.

We’ll wrap it up with one more trip to OVW, from May 31, 2006.

Simon Dean vs. Shawn Spears

Dean easily throws him down to start before tripping him to the mat. Back up and Spears cranks on a hammerlock but walks into a big right hand. Not that it matters as a small package out of nowhere gives Spears the quick pin.

Dean loses his mind, breaks a lot of stuff, and hits security with chairs after the match.

Nova is a guy that worked well when he was allowed to be himself but companies kept feeling the need to make him into some over the top character. The Simon Dean issue is the same thing that keeps hurting NXT talent being called up today: why does WWE see them get over down there as one character then switch everything up and blame them for not getting the new character over? Anyway, Nova is a talented guy but bad gimmicks killed him.

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ECW on TNN
Date: April 14, 2000
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

The main event tonight is an elimination match between Super Crazy, Tajiri and Little Guido for the TV Title, but there’s a much bigger story at the moment. Mike Awesome, the ECW World Champion, has jumped to WCW while still champion. This led to a lawsuit where ECW made a nice amount of money, but the more important story is we need a new ECW World Champion. We’ll cover that tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with the announcers in the ring where Joey runs down TNN. That was always a questionable move as TNN may have been treating ECW badly, but it was still airing them. Joel’s limerick of the night isn’t completely explicit but it would send Vince into a conniption today.

The opening sequence starts but Heyman cuts us off to announce that Tazz showed up in Indianapolis to win the title back despite working for the WWF at the time. Video is coming later.

We cut back to the arena with Rhyno Goring and piledriving Kid Kash for a pin. Was that a match?

T-shirt ads.

Hardcore Heaven ad.

Jazz wants to beat up Dawn Marie but finds Mikey Whipwreck and Sinister Minister instead. She says something long and censored and apparently wants the Minister to find Marie for her. Minister’s price: beer and sex. Jazz tells him to go to church. Mikey laughs and lights some paper on fire.

The Tazz video is still coming.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

The challengers beat the Players in singles matches recently to set this up. Credible sends Chetti into the corner to start but That’s Incredible is countered into a rollup for two. Off to Storm vs. Nova for some wristlocks before Nova takes over with a Japanese armdrag. They trade legsweeps for one counts each and it’s a standoff. Nova tosses Storm into the air for a low blow before bringing in Chetti for a double hiptoss and elbow drop for two.

The Players are sent to the floor but Nova takes them out with a nice dive as Dawn Marie looks terrified. Gorgeous but terrified. Back in and Nova loads up a reverse DDT on Credible but Storm makes the save with a leg lariat. The Players take over on Nova but he comes back with chops to Storm in the corner. Lance rolls through an Irish whip into the Canadian Mapleleaf which isn’t a big move yet. Back to Credible for a chinlock for a bit before a swinging DDT gets no cover.

That’s enough of the wrestling and tag team formula though so here’s a table. The table is set up in the corner but Nova grabs a quick Novacane (downward spiral) to put Storm down. The hot tag brings in Chetti with a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver for two on Justin as everything breaks down. Justin gets pulled to the floor but Storm superkicks Chetti down for a close two.

Nova comes back in and walks up the table for a tornado DDT on Storm but Lance gets up at two. Justin BLASTS Nova in the head with the Singapore cane to give Storm a two count but Credible gets thrown through the table. Dawn Marie comes in but here’s Jazz to take her out. Storm hits a good piledriver on Jazz and Justin blasts Chetti in the head with a belt for the pin to retain.

Time for the Tazz footage. Mike Awesome issued an open challenge at a house show last night after jumping to WCW and appearing on Nitro Monday. This was a total surprise and made no sense from WWF’s perspective but they did it anyway.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Taz

Taz sends him to the floor to start and the brawl is on with Taz getting the better of it. They head back inside with Awesome getting stomped down in the corner. The referee gets bumped and here’s Dreamer to DDT Awesome down. The Tazmission gives us a new champion in about 90 seconds. Why they didn’t just put the title on Dreamer still eludes me.

House show ads.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485^th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Post match Cyrus comes out to celebrate and says that Tajiri will give the Network the title at Cyberslam. Also, Cyrus is God because he’s Network. Cue Sandman’s 3 minute entrance and after hotline and home video ads, we see Sandman blasting Rhyno with the cane. The fifth show keeps Rhyno down and Sandman keeps swinging until Cyrus tries to interfere.

Corino makes the save and Tajiri blinds Sandman with the mist. Rhyno picks up the referee and gores him through Sandman through the table. Joey asks if there’s anyone else to stand up to the Network so here’s RVD for a return. Cyrus threatens to fire Van Dam if he gets in the ring but Rhyno cuts him off, demanding that Rob get in. Rob cleans house by himself and stands off with Rhyno to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible and the last half of the show was dedicated to the biggest story, which is a good thing at the moment. The Network is a well done story at the moment and it makes sense to keep the focus on it. RVD returning is a good thing as well as it gives the fans someone they can believe in, which has been sorely lacking in ECW lately. Nice episode but the same problems still plague them.

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ECW on TNN
Date: February 18, 2000
Location: Tallahassee Civic Center, Tallahassee, Florida
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The main story coming out of last week’s show was Rhyno and Corino going after Dusty Rhodes with Sandman making the save. Odds are we won’t hear about that tonight due to it being the second half of a double taping, but the story wasn’t very good other than Dusty’s parts anyway. We also might get an update on the TV Title situation. Let’s get to it.

We open with Cyrus in the back, talking about how we only have 59:45 to go until ROLLERJAM! ECW is in trouble after Dusty Rhodes attacked him last week and they have heat with the network now. RVD is officially stripped of the TV Title and ECW will do what Cyrus says to do. NOW ONLY 57:19 UNTIL ROLLERJAM! I remember watching this when it first aired and it was awesome due to Cyrus being so over the top. Also Rollerjam was awesome.

Opening video.

Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth instead of the ring with Styles talking about the new video game, which was a clone of WWF Attitude.

Tanaka says he’s winning the title back tonight.

Nova/Chris Chetti vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Chetti takes Doring into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. A quick kick puts Danny down and it’s off to Nova for a double elbow and hip toss. Roadkill comes in sans tag to clean house but takes out Doring by mistake. Nova comes back with a kick to Roadie and a spinebuster to Doring before diving to the floor to take out Roadkill. Nice sequence there.

Back in and Roadie blocks a tornado DDT and Doring takes Nova down with a clothesline. This is pretty fast paced stuff but it’s not falling apart at all. A pair of slams (sidewalk and power style) put Nova down and a top rope elbow from Doring gets two. Nova comes back with a reverse DDT and it’s off to Roadie vs. Chetti.

Chris cleans house on both guys and hits a tornado DDT on the big fat guy (Roadkill). Nova and Chetti load up the Tidal Wave (top rope splash and legdrop from the same corner) but only Nova launches with Chetti getting crotched. Doring makes the save and Roadkill pops up to set up a table on the floor. The big fat splash misses Nova entirely, but Doring hits a jumping double arm DDT on Nova for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it falls into the same ECW trap that most matches do: there’s not enough time spent building to the frantic (yet good) finish. Both of these teams were good in the roles they played, but Nova and Chetti never won the titles and Roadkill and Doring only won the belts after the TV show was off the air.

Post match the Impact Players, the reigning tag champions, come out to destroy all four guys.

Mike Awesome says he’ll keep the title.

Super Crazy vs. C.W. Anderson

I never cared for C.W. Anderson. He’s supposed to be a throwback to Arn Anderson but it never quite worked. Crazy hooks a quick headscissors to put Anderson on the floor before hitting a BIG springboard moonsault to take out Anderson and Bilvis Wesley. Crazy picks up a chair for no apparent reason, allowing C.W. to superkick it into his face. It’s already table time but Anderson goes to the top rope after setting it up. Crazy is all like ESTOY EL LUCHADOR and hurricanranas Anderson down for two.

Not that it matters though as Anderson comes back with a spinebuster through the table. Arn Anderson should smack him around for that kind of no selling. A half nelson suplex gets another two count for C.W. but a springboard tornado DDT gets the same for Crazy. Super throws in two more tables and chairs for something resembling a Conchairto because why not use one of those in a meaningless TV match? A springboard legdrop through the table gets two for Crazy as Lou E. Dangerously makes the save. Bilvis accidentally hits Lou with a chair, allowing Crazy to hit two moonsaults through the table for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, this was a six and a half minute TV match with no story to it, so we had three tables, a Conchairto, two people interfering and chair shots. The reason stuff like this worked in the Austin vs. Foley main events was there was a solid foundation under the matches to get us to that point. Just having it all happen in a few minutes between guys with no story doesn’t work at all unless you’re some kind of bloody thirsty sociopath.

Chetti and Nova want a piece of the Impact Players. They didn’t need to wear a jock strap on the face or to carry Shawn Michaels’ bags (Justin) to get over.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is defending. The fans chant RVD at Awesome during the weapons check. You know, because we wouldn’t want weapons getting involved in an ECW match or anything. Awesome runs the challenger over to start and catches a Thesz Press attempt in a belly to belly suplex. Tanaka comes right back with a powerslam of his own, only to have Awesome run the corner and hit a back elbow to the jaw. Nice move.

Tanaka quickly knocks him to the floor and hits a plancha off the top rope to the floor. Mike goes into the barricade but gets a boot up to stop a charging challenger. A big dive over the barricade into the crowd takes Tanaka down as we hit the brawling stage. Mike hits a HARD chair shot to the head (what was that about weapons?) but Tanaka no sells it. A German suplex is no sold and a chokebomb gets two for Awesome.

It’s table time but Tanaka escapes an Awesome Bomb and sends Mike to the apron for a DDT, sending Awesome through the table. A running chair shot to the head has Awesome in trouble and a missile dropkick to the back of the head gets two. Tanaka hits the top rope chair shot to a grounded Awesome but Mike counters the tornado DDT into a kind of spinebuster on the chair.

The second attempt at the DDT connects but Awesome gets up at two. Diamond Dust (flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into an Alabama Slam for two and Mike gets two off a sitout Awesome Bomb. The Awesome Splash gets the same and here’s another table. Tanaka escapes another Awesome Bomb and hits the Roaring Elbow, only to have Mike deck him on the top and hit a top rope Awesome Bomb through the table to retain.

Rating: C+. Yeah these matches are hard hitting and fun, but when you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. There is NOTHING between the big moves and it takes away from any value the match has. It’s a car crash match with nothing but spots and that makes for a match that is fun for a bit but has zero staying power at all. There’s no story or anything here and that holds matches WAY back.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was fun in a car crash sense, but other than that there’s nothing on here worth seeing. One of ECW’s biggest problems is the complete lack of an upper midcard. There’s a tag team division, a middle of the card and a main event scene, but nothing between them. This becomes a problem because there’s nothing for the guys in between so you get a bunch of random matches from week to week. This was decent enough but it didn’t do much for me.

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