Slamboree 1998 (2013 Redo): One Of The Loudest Pops Ever

Slamboree 1998
Date: May 17, 1998
Location: The Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 11,592
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

Tonight is pretty much a filler show as Hogan is nowhere to be seen and we have a double main event. We have Hart vs. Savage in a grudge match and Sting/Giant vs. the Outsiders for the tag titles, with Sting in WCW and Giant in the NWO Black and White. There is however one moment on this show that ranks right up there with the biggest surprises and best received moments in WCW history. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has some words like controversy and power over shots of the people in the two main events.

The announcers talk about the main events tonight to convince us that buying this show was a good idea.

We get Bischoff’s challenge to Vince from Thunder, complete with him reading the letter from Vince’s attorney.

We go outside to see Doug Dillinger (head of WCW security) waiting for Vince to arrive with WCW fans (certainly not plants of any sort) shouting about how much they hate Vince. Tony tells us not to worry because the matches will indeed go on despite Vince not being here.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Fit Finlay

Finlay is defending. The set here is simpler than most from 1998 with a big SLAMBOREE logo and a door in the middle. You don’t often see doors in sets so it’s a change of pace if nothing else. They shove each other around a lot and the crowd is really into this already. Benoit counters a headlock into a top wristlock as Tony confirms that the name Fit is due to Finlay being fit for any sport.

They fight into a test of strength and wrestle into a string of near falls either way until Finlay takes over with an armbar on the mat. Back up and they run the ropes with Benoit getting two off a hiptoss and we have a standoff. Benoit hits a chop so hard that it knocks Finlay’s strap down. A backbreaker has Finlay in trouble so Benoit pulls him from the ropes to the mat, slamming Finlay’s back onto the canvas again.

Finlay comes right back with a hard clothesline and Chris rolls to the floor. This has been very physical so far with both guys beating the tar out of each other. A hard slam on the floor has Benoit in even more trouble but Finlay actually goes inside to give Benoit a change to get up. Back in and Finlay stomps away before putting on a reverse chinlock. Benoit stands up with Finlay on his shoulders into an electric chair drop, hurting his own head in the process.

Some hard chops stagger the champion but he goes right to the eyes to stop Benoit’s comeback. We hit a chinlock for a good while before Finlay elbows and kicks at Benoit’s back. Back to the chinlock for a bit before he drives Benoit chest first into the apron. They head to the floor with Benoit cracking Finlay with a chair for a pop but not a DQ. Benoit goes in for a suicide dive but goes head first into the chair to give Finlay control again.

Back in again and Finlay slams him down for two before staying on the back with more elbow drops. A clothesline drops Benoit again and we’re into chinlock #3. Benoit fights up again and avoids a charge into the corner, followed by the rolling Germans. Finlay elbows him in the face to block a fourth but has to quickly get to a rope to break a Crossface attempt. The snap suplex sets up the Swan Dive but here’s Booker T before Benoit can jump. Finlay uses the distraction to kick Benoit in the back of the head to knock Chris out cold. Back in and the tombstone retains Finlay’s title.

Rating: C+. Nice opener here but again, is there any point to not giving Benoit a title yet? He’s over, he’s having solid matches, there’s a feud with Booker already written, but he can get two days total as champion without ever being on TV with the belt? Nothing against Finlay, but I don’t see the point in having him as champion here.

Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger

This is fallout from Scott Steiner and Adams injuring Rick Steiner’s shoulder. One punch sends Adams out to the floor and Luger follows him out so he can ram Adams’ and Vincent’s heads together. Luger rams Brian’s shoulder into the post twice in a row for some payback. The arm gets snapped across the top rope and there’s a powerslam to set up the Rack less than two and a half minutes in.

Vincent finally does something by distraction Luger so Adams can hit a quick piledriver to take over. They head outside again with Adams kicking away to protect his bad shoulder. Back in and Adams gets two off a backbreaker and a pair of legdrops gets the same. A double clothesline puts both guys down but Adams is quickly up. In a surprise ending, Luger ducks a clothesline and grabs the Rack for the submission.

Rating: D. As shocking as it was for Luger to win a match with anything other than his usual sequence, there wasn’t much to see here. This could have been on any given episode of Nitro and probably should have been. Luger was just so lost at this point, having nothing of note to do and just floating from one NWO match to another.

Saturn cancels the gauntlet match against Goldberg and says he’ll be going one on one with him. Why this was changed is beyond me but it’s probably better this way. If anyone in the Flock doesn’t like it, they know where to find him.

Cruiserweight Battle Royal

You can be eliminated by going to the floor or pinfall here and the winner gets a title shot at Jericho later in the night. The more entertaining part though is Jericho doing the introductions in Dave Penzer’s place.

Super Calo: This guy’s hat never comes off!

Chavo Guerrero Jr.: He used to be a great bartender but he’s the scourge of the Guerrero family.

Ciclope: From selling chimichangas to WCW!

Damien: He can’t afford a mask so he’s using paint!

El Dandy: The winner of the Lou Ferrigno look-a-like contest.

El Grio: The world light featherweight champion!

Juventud Guerrera: Pulled up in a rusted out 67 El Camino Chevy, the ugliest man in our business, Quasimodo Guerrera!

Marty Jannetty: He’ll rock rock until he drops drops.

Kidman: A lost and lonely soul and Jericho has calamine lotion with him.

Evan Karagias: 0/10.

Lenny Lane: I want my Loverboy tape back!

Psychosis: He has a lot of hubcaps in his collection and can get you one if you need it.

Silver King: If he wins 12 more matches he gets to be Gold King.

Johnny Swinger: Johnny Cinger!

Villano IV: Representing Villano I-LXII!

Everyone goes at it to start and if you go through the ropes to the floor it’s an elimination as well. Evan is out first but there are still too many people to be able to do much. Chavo backdrops Swinger out and hits a tornado DDT on someone I couldn’t see. Psychosis hits a springboard hurricanrana on Damien but doesn’t throw him out. Super Calo is dropkicked out by Juvy and King is out at someone’s hands. Lane and Dandy have a mini match in the middle of the ring as Juvy hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to take Psychosis down.

Grio gets dumped and Lane misses a dive off the top. Jannetty and Villano both go out as we’re down to eight. Lane goes up but Kidman throws Juvy into him to knock Lane out. Juvy dropkicks Damien out and we’re down to six. Dandy is dropkicked off the apron and it’s five: Ciclope, Chavo, Kidman, Psychosis and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo out as Heenan does his schtick of picking everyone in the match. Psychosis misses a charge and goes out as Juvy pulls Kidman out. Juvy sees he’s alone with Ciclope….and eliminates himself to give Ciclope the title shot?

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal so how good can it really be? The high spots were nice but at the same time they made a lot of the guys in the match look stupid for trying something like that. The ending was confusing but all will be explained in just a few seconds. Nothing outside of the ordinary here other than some high spots.

Jericho hits the ring immediately but Ciclope unmasks to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO! The place goes NUTS in one of the loudest pops WCW ever had.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Dean shows more emotion in a fifteen second burst than he did in his entire career, stomping Jericho down in the corner and a suplex puts him down again. A dropkick sends Jericho out to the floor and Dean follows him out with right hands to the head. Back in and Dean opts to fire off more punches instead of rolling Jericho up when he has the chance. A quick hot shot gives Jericho a breather and a backsplash gets two.

Jericho suplexes his down and gets another two off the arrogant cover. The Lionsault gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Dean fights up and tries the Liontamer on Jericho but Chris quickly makes the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw gets two on Malenko but the top rope hurricanrana is countered into the top rope gutbuster. The Cloverleaf gives Dean the title back.

Rating: A. The match was decent though nothing great, but the story here is the emotion. This whole story was built up on the emotion the fans felt for Malenko and wanting to see him make Jericho eat his words. It’s a classic story: hero falls, villain reigns and runs his mouth, hero returns to vanquish the villain. No unexplained turns, no politics, no swerves (ok maybe one with the disguise) and possibly the loudest reaction ever in WCW. Clearly there’s nothing to this storytelling idea though right?

We have a Vinnie Mac cam and a white limousine arrives. Tony: “If Jim Ross comes out and carries his bags you know it’s Vince.” They cut away before anyone gets out.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

This is a Bowery Death Match, meaning last man standing inside a cage. There’s a roof on the cage too. Page pounds away to start but Raven sends him face first into a trashcan in the corner. An elbow to the face drops Raven but he sends Page into another can. Page is whipped face first into the cage several times and Raven empties the weapons from the cans. The breather lets Page get the bullrope around Raven’s neck to whip him into the cage a few times.

Page wraps the rope around the top of the cage to hang Raven but Bird Boy gets his legs on DDT to block the pressure. Raven falls to the mat for an eight count but a VCR shot to the head draws an ECW chant and a seven. Page gets kicked into another can in the corner and a shot to the back with said can gets another seven. Some cookie sheet shots have Page in trouble and Raven puts on a sleeper, only to have Page ram him into the corner, crushing the referee in the process.

Page hits a quick jawbreaker and sends Raven face first into the chair. Reese and the Flock easily overpower Raven’s riot squad and cut open the lock on the cage. Van Hammer comes out from under the ring with a stop sign to lay out the rest of the Flock and handcuff Reese to the guardrail. Page stomps Raven down in the corner but two members of the Riot Squad comes in to stomp DDP down.

They unmask as Kidman and Horace but Page fights them off with Diamond Cutters. Raven comes back with a fire extinguisher to the ribs and the Even Flow but Page is up at eight. They slug it out in fast motion before Raven Diamond Cuts Page. Page is up again, ducks a chair shot and Diamond Cuts Raven for the ten count.

Rating: C-. This was WAY overbooked but it’s not a horrible match. Hopefully it ends the feud though as there’s just nothing left for these guys to do to each other. Ending it inside of a cage is as good as they’re going to get, especially after Page had to fight off the Flock almost on his own. Decent match here but it needed more violence.

Post match the last riot squad guy starts handcuffing all the Flock members to the cage. He cuffs Raven as well, reveals himself to be Mortis, unmasks as Kanyon (yet to be named) and does the Tommy Dreamer chair shot heard round the world.

More from the Vinnie Mac Cam.

The announcers talk about the tag title match, which sounds like the main event.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

If Dragon wins, Chavo is free from Eddie. Eddie takes him down by the arm to start but Dragon armdrags him down. There are A LOT of empty seats across from the cameras here which I believe were full earlier. Dragon takes him down with a snapmare but Eddie complains about a hair pull, going so far as to demonstrate on the referee. Off to a test of strength with Dragon bridging off the mat. Eddie drops down onto him but can’t break said bridge which is always impressive.

Dragon fires off his kicks but a simple dropkick from Eddie puts him down. A headscissors out of the corner takes Guerrero down again and here are more kicks from the masked man. Back in and Dragon kicks away even more before putting on a half crab into a bridging Indian Deathlock. Eddie gets back up and pokes Dragon in the eye to take over before getting two off a suplex.

Off to a quick front facelock from Guerrero before they head outside for some fun. Guerrero sends him into the barricade and chokes with a camera cord. Instead of following up though, he slaps Chavo around for a bit. Back inside and Eddie loads up a hurricanrana off the top, only to get crotched and enziguried to the floor.

The Asai Moonsault takes Eddie down again but Dragon hits his head on the way down. Back in and Dragon gets two off a backbreaker and a moonsault gets the same. The super hurricanrana is countered into a tornado DDT from Eddie but the Frog Splash misses. They trade Dragon Sleepers but Chavo takes Eddie’s feet off the ropes. Dragon accidentally kicks Chavo, allowing Eddie to hit the brainbuster and Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. Usual high quality match from these two as the Guerrero Saga continues. Dragon looked good out there as it’s nice to see him finally have a story of some sort. The Guerreros’ story is solid stuff as well with actual character development, which compliments the matches very nicely.

Post match Chavo yells at Eddie before stomping Dragon out of frustration. Eddie offers him a free shot but Chavo can’t do it. He kisses Eddie on the cheek instead as the insanity is about to begin.

Vince “The Reason For The Ratings” McMahon has a dressing room. Just go with it.

US Title: Saturn vs. Goldberg

Just one on one instead of the advertised gauntlet match. Goldberg easily shoves him into the corner to start before clotheslining the challenger down with ease. A gorilla press into a powerslam puts Saturn down and a shoulder knocks him to the floor. Back in and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner but charges into a spin kick from the champion. Goldberg LAUNCHES him into the corner before they head outside.

Saturn ducks a clothesline and Goldie’s arm goes into the post. Back in and a top rope spinwheel kick gets one and we hit the chinlock. Goldberg fights up but walks into a swinging neckbreaker to set up the chinlock again. Back up and Saturn grabs a chair before superkicking Goldberg into the corner. Using the chair as a springboard, Saturn kicks Goldberg in the back but a second attempt is countered with the spear. The Jackhammer retains the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me. The arm went nowhere and it never felt like Saturn had a chance. Goldberg is in an awkward place as he’s too big to squash people and midcarders are no real challenge anymore but he’s not quite ready to face main event guys. That’s a very tricky jump to make but it would come soon enough.

We actually get full entrances for Bischoff vs. Vince with Eric winning by countout. Well done on wasting PPV time and looking silly while the WWF was starting to crush you, but at least Bischoff gets to laugh. In all sincerity though, at least they didn’t use the WWF method of using an impersonator or a midget.

Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage

Roddy Piper is guest referee for no apparent reason. We get the long stall session to open things up until Bret gets in the first shots, pounding Savage into the corner. Savage goes to the eyes and maybe a low blow for two. He pounds Bret down in the corner and chokes away, only to have Bret go after Randy’s bad knee. A suplex puts Randy down and a headbutt to the hamstring puts Savage on the floor.

Bret throws the steps at Savage but Randy moves to avoid breaking bones. Savage sends him into the barricade and they head into the crowd for the big walk around the arena which is called brawling. Back to ringside with Savage slamming him on the floor. This has been a brawl the entire way so far. They get back in with Bret wisely going after the knee and starts his usual wear down sequence.

He cannonballs down onto the knee, wraps it around the ropes and stretches the hamstring a bit. A Russian legsweep and a piledriver get two for the Canadian before he just stomps Savage down in the corner. Randy gets in some shots of his own and actually gets two off a one legged suplex. The top rope elbow connects but Randy bangs up his knee on the landing, allowing Bret to kick out at two.

Bret sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter as Liz comes running out. Savage counters into a Sharpshooter of his own (camera was on Liz so we didn’t see it) but Bret gets a rope. Bret kicks Savage low and hits Piper with a foreign object, only to have Savage take it away. Here’s Hogan to wrap Savage’s leg around the post, allowing Bret to put on the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but the overbooking drags it down again. Hogan showing up makes you wonder why he couldn’t defend the title here or why he needed to be champion in the first place. Have Savage defend against Bret here and keep the title by DQ etc, but Hogan just NEEDED to be champion again I guess. Also it’s looking like we’re never getting an explanation from Bret on why he helped Hogan.

Piper takes the object off Bret’s hand but doesn’t do anything.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Sting/The Giant

Hall is back and does the survey for the first time in months. Sting starts with Scott and there are the driving shoulders to get us going. A quick chokeslam puts Sting down and there’s the Giant imitation. Sting comes back with a pair of atomic drops and a Stinger Splash but he has to fight off Nash as well. Giant comes in and headbutts Nash to the floor and Hall joins him for a meeting.

Back in and it’s time for the battle of the monsters with Nash now all aggressive to go after Giant. Nash can’t Jackknife him so he chokes in the corner instead. Giant comes back with a big boot and an elbow drop before driving his hips into Nash’s ribs in the corner. The fans cheer for the Wolfpack as Sting comes in. Sting takes Hall down but gets kicked in the face by Nash, allowing for the tag off to Scott. A quick fallaway slam gets two on Sting as the fans are WAY into Hall.

Back to Nash for Snake Eyes before it’s back to Hall for some stomping. Nash drops the crotch on Sting’s back before firing off knees in the corner. Hall comes back in again for the abdominal stretch with a hand from Nash. Sting hiptosses out but misses an elbow drop, allowing another tag to Kevin. We hit the bearhug but Sting claps the ears a few times, allowing for the hot tag off to Giant, even though Giant is a heel.

Giant kicks Nash down and drops a Hogan leg for two before going….to the top? He misses a splash from up there so Nash can stay alive and Dusty gets on the apron for some reason. Nash loads up the Jackknife but, of course, Hall turns on Nash with a belt shot to the back, giving Sting and Giant the titles.

Rating: C-. Match was just ok but the illogical heel turns are getting annoying really fast. There’s no reason for all these turns and the lack of ANY explanation so far is making them even worse. So now we have a WCW guy and an NWO Black and White guy holding the tag belts, meaning it’s now all on Sting to make a decision and presumably setting up Hall vs. Nash. Anyone want to bet on that match not happening?

Giant and Hall welcome Sting to the NWO but Sting doesn’t move to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I watched this show about a year and a half ago and other than the Malenko stuff, I don’t remember a thing from it. The show isn’t that bad but NOTHING on it stands out at all. It’s a totally watchable show with some good matches sprinkled in and nothing horrible, but it comes off like one of the least important shows I can remember, doing little more than setting up Nitro. Find the Malenko/Jericho stuff though as it’s well worth seeing.

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Thunder – May 14, 1998: As Worthless As A Kayak In The Gobi Desert

Thunder
Date: May 14, 1998
Location: Whittemore Center Arena, Durham, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

It’s the final show before Slamboree and we have even more drama in the NWO. This time it’s the Giant joining NWO Hollywood to help protect Hogan and get his hands on Kevin Nash at the same time. The latter makes little sense as Giant already has a match with Nash on Sunday but if you try to think too much about this stuff your head will explode. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk for a bit about the end of Nitro and give us a quick preview of tonight’s show, including Savage vs. Sting.

We get a new version of Bischoff’s challenge, this one themed like an NWO announcement. Basically Bischoff is a martial arts expert and invites Vince to come break Eric’s limbs and choke him to death, so come to Slamboree. Expect to see this about a dozen times tonight.

Mando Guerrero, Eddie’s older brother, is disappointed by Eddie’s recent actions. Chavo has it tough enough due to being a second generation wrestler without having to be Eddie’s nephew.

 

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Reese

 

Reese is Eddie’s handpicked opponent, selected for how similar he is to Chavo. Reese lumbers at Chavo but the smaller guy speeds around and fires off chops for no effect. Reese throws Chavo around with ease but Guerrero comes back with a springboard kick to the chest to stagger the giant. Chavo goes up but an Eddie distraction allows Reese to catch Chavo in the chokebomb for the fast pin.

 

Post match Ultimo Dragon, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, comes out to stop Eddie from berating Chavo. Chavo walks away while Eddie is caught in the Dragon Sleeper.

 

We recap the “fan” attacks (Kanyon) on Raven over the last few weeks.

The announcers talk about Raven’s challenge for a Bowery Death Match on Sunday.

We also get a clip of Raven beating Page for the US Title at Spring Stampede and the ensuing brawls over the next few weeks. They also air Page’s promos on Raven from Thunder two weeks ago, the fight with the bullrope, JJ giving Raven a riot squad and the challenge for the Bowery Death Match. Are they running REALLY short on time tonight? They aired about seven minutes straight of videos of the feud.

Since that’s not enough on these two, here are Raven and the riot squad. He’s tired of hearing about DDP. What about Raven? This isn’t Dodge City and Page can’t string him up like Josey Wales. If Page wants him, come get him right now. Here’s Page through the crowd because he was just waiting at the top of the arena. Page dives over the squad to get at Raven but the beatdown is on almost immediately. That looks a lot like Austin diving over the cops to get at Vince a few months after this aired. Page gets hung by the bullrope.

Goldberg has to defend the US Title by running a Flock gauntlet on Sunday.

The Outsiders will actually be here tonight.

TV Title: Kenny Kaos vs. Fit Finlay

In case you didn’t think the other High Voltage member getting a title shot was stupid enough. Finlay grabs a nerve hold to start but Kaos comes back with a hiptoss before pulling Finlay away from the ropes. Finlay drags him to the floor by the hair for a quick pounding before taking Kaos back inside, getting two off a splash. Kaos gets the knees up to block a Vader Bomb and gets two off an atomic drop. The champion pounds away but misses a charge into the post, only to take it to the floor where Rage helps out his partner. Back in and Finlay hits the rolling senton and the tombstone to retain.

Rating: D. Nothing match as Finlay didn’t sell anything Kaos did and easily beat him after getting double teamed. This wasn’t really even a squash with Kaos getting in some offense but to no effect. I still don’t get why Finlay was champion anyway as he hadn’t really done anything significant prior to winning the title.

We see Savage calling out Bret from a few weeks ago.

Here’s a live action person dressed as a character from the animated movie Quest For Camelot to hand out t-shirts. This doesn’t seem to be announced to anyone in the arena, but why would they need to know who this big viking looking guy is?

US Title: Sick Boy vs. Goldberg

Sick Boy goes right for the champ and actually takes him down with a snapmare. We get a nerve hold but Goldberg easily fights up. A pair of dropkicks stagger him but Goldberg comes back with a gorilla press, setting up a bad looking spear and the Jackhammer to retain the title.

The Flock swarms Goldberg but he takes down Riggs, scaring everyone else off.

Saturn says he uses a basic side kick like people have been using for thousands of years. He didn’t steal it from Glacier or any other reject from a video game.

Chris Adams vs. Saturn

Before the match Kidman asks Adams if he wants to lose to the Rings of Saturn or the Death Valley Driver. Adams doesn’t say anything so Kidman picks the Death Valley Driver, which will be set up by the Cryonic Kick and there’s nothing Glacier can do about it. Security holds Van Hammer back from getting in the ring. They trade hammerlocks to start as Tony rips apart the Flock for being a bunch of spoiled brats as children.

Saturn catches an incoming boot to the ribs but Adams takes him down with an enziguri for two. Adams misses a top rope knee drop and Kidman hands Saturn a chair. Saturn gets a springboard into the corner for a clothesline before sending Chris out to the floor. Adams comes back with some right hands but gets sent into the ropes, setting up the superkick and Death Valley Driver for Saturn’s pin.

Rating: C. Better match than expected here with Adams at least being game out there. I like the idea of Saturn calling his finish but it would be better if it was in a feud with ANYONE but Glacier. Was there no one else out there you could have use a superkick to set up a feud with Saturn at all? Not a bad match at all though.

This week in WCW Motorsports because all WCW fans care about car racing.

Robbie Rage vs. Chris Benoit

Apparently Nitro will be split in two on Monday with one hour from 7-8 and one hour from 11:30-12:30. Rage no sells some chops to start and gorilla presses Benoit down with ease. An overhead belly to belly has Benoit in even more trouble and it’s off to a half crab from Rage. Kaos is nowhere to be seen for some reason tonight. Rage loads up a powerslam but rams Benoit back first into the corner instead of slamming him down. Benoit avoids a top rope splash and there’s the Swan Dive followed by the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here but Rage got in far more offense than he should have. This was out of the 1995 Randy Savage playbook: get destroyed for most of the match and then hit a big move for the win. It doesn’t do much for Benoit but at least he got the win going into his title match on Sunday.

Here’s Eric Bischoff with his fists up and something to say. The announcers talk about the challenge but aren’t sure if they should support Bischoff or not. Bischoff talks about Vince sending guys where Vince knows Eric won’t be, but he’s received a letter from Vince’s lawyers, saying that Vince will NOT be at the PPV and stop promoting him as such. Bischoff says ok but Doug Dillinger will still be there to guard the door and make sure Vince gets to the ring safely. The announcers still aren’t sure what to say.

Buy the Outsiders shirt!

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Public Enemy

And there’s no Hall. Nash complains about politics in the back with Bischoff and Hogan keeping Hall off live TV. However, they can’t stop him from being at the PPV for some reason so Hall WILL be at Slamboree. He stops to talk about how sexy he looks tonight and brings out his replacement partner for the night: Dusty Rhodes. Rocco starts for the challengers as Dusty chills on the floor.

Nash throws Rock into the corner and chokes him with the boot before firing in some elbows for two. More corner choking ensues before Public Enemy double suplexes Nash down. Rhodes pulls Grunge to the floor and the Jackknife to Rocco followed by the Bionic Elbow retains the titles. Heenan: “DUSTY IS 1-0!”

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate but it was basically a joke match. The fans popped for Dusty so I guess the Wolfpack is officially a face group. They’re definitely faces in the NWO but it wasn’t entirely clear if they were faces overall. It’s nice to see the belts defended at all though as I don’t think they’ve been on the line since February.

Sting vs. Randy Savage

We get a lot of pyro before the entrances. Savage jumps Sting in the aisle and I don’t think there was a bell. They head inside with Sting taking over and backdropping Savage down. Savage rakes the eyes and takes it back to the floor with Sting sending Randy into the barricade and actually hitting the Splash against the steel. That might be the only time I’ve ever seen that connect in WCW. Back in and the Stinger Splash misses but Sting comes back with an elbow to the jaw. Not that it matters as here’s Bret Hart with a chair for the fast DQ. Match was just over two minutes long.

Giant comes in to save Bret from Savage, only to have Nash come in to save Savage with a chair shot. Sting hits Nash with the chair, leaving just Sting and Giant standing. Giant gets a mic and says that once they win the tag titles, Sting has a decision to make. He throws Sting a black and white t-shirt and Sting doesn’t immediately say no. Giant leaves so Luger comes out to try to talk reason into Sting.

The Bischoff challenge to McMahon ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well let’s see: we get no explanation from Giant, the only major story development is for what happens after the tag title match, we saw two High Voltage matches for some reason, and nothing new was added to the PPV. This show just didn’t need to happen, which is the case with almost all of the Thunder shows anymore.

Here’s Slamboree if you’re interested:

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Thoughts on the CM Punk DVD

Yeah it came out months ago and everyone has seen it, but when have I ever been one to have something up as soon as possible?This is going to be more of a collection of single thoughts instead of a point by point review.

 

The first part of the DVD focuses on Punk’s indy days and how hard he worked and all that jazz.  I’ll save the reasoning for an I Want To Talk A Little Bit About that (hopefully) will be up this weekend, but the short response to this is “That’s nice, now let’s let the real wrestlers do their stuff over here.”  Also those Samoa Joe matches really aren’t that great.  They’re just not.

 

Punk talking about no one knowing what to do with him is probably a fair point.  The early days in ECW were indeed awkward because he didn’t have time to do much.  You can only get so much out of a four minute match with Little Guido or Justin Credible.  He doesn’t mention it but he should have gotten a MUCH bigger push in the Extreme Elimination Chamber.  Bobby Lashley clearly didn’t work long term, but at the time it was fair to say he was a stronger prospect than Punk.

 

It amuses me greatly that WWE is still trying to convince us that being World Heavyweight Champion means something.  I will however agree that he should have been pushed harder as champion and shouldn’t have been treated like the third biggest act.  The complaints about being beneath Cena vs. Batista on the card are laughable though.  That’s a legitimate dream match that had been built up for over three years minimum.

 

Yes Punk should have at least been on the Unforgiven card (sidenote: it’s a bad sign that I said “it was in Cleveland” before Punk pointed out that it was in Cleveland.  This is at least the second time I’ve known the city a show was in while watching the documentary.) but Jericho vs. HBK was the feud of the year and far better than anything Punk was doing at the time.  Punk’s story was that he was an underdog fighting for respect.  That’s not exactly lighting the world on fire.

 

Punk talks about not getting to be the face of the company.  He also talks about not just burning but blowing up every single bridge he’s ever had with a company and being a mean jerk.  But I’m sure he isn’t pushed as the biggest star because someone doesn’t get him right?

He’s absolutely right about writers not knowing what’s going on in his head.  At least have a wrestler’s input when you’re writing promos if you just have to do it that way.  It’s why I rarely let people do promos when I wrote OCW.  They were my characters and I didn’t want people missing the point with them.

 

The Straight Edge Society could have been a much bigger deal.  Luke Gallows and Joey Mercury did it no favors though.  Also I was there when the stable debuted which was rather cool.  As someone who has never smoked, drank or done any drug whatsoever, I always liked those guys.  As for Punk’s thoughts on it: I LOVE the mentality of wanting fans to hate you for what you say.  That’s the old school booking which has worked for years as opposed to whatever tactics heels use today.

 

Miz was a very well built up heel and should have been in the main event.  If Punk had been in his spot, he would have been overshaddowed by Rock just as much.  That’s how wrestling works.

 

On to the Pipe Bomb.  John Cena is indeed the best in the world because he draws more money than anyone does at the moment.  He’s been the biggest star in wrestling for years because he can be put on a poster or be on ESPN and comes off like the nicest guy you’ll ever see.  He isn’t a, for lack of a better term, punk covered in tattoos who brags about how awesome he is all the time.  That’s a great look and attitude for wrestling fans in their 20s, but for 43 year old Jim Nelson from Omaha, Punk is someone they’ll see on TV, mutter about how stupid kids look these days and keep flipping.  You know what’s going to make people stop changing the channel?  John Cena throwing Big Show on his shoulders and flipping him into the air for an AA.

 

The best thing about the Pipe Bomb?  It lead to a professional wrestling match for the WWE Championship with CM Punk talking about how he was going to pin John Cena 1-2-3 because he’s a better wrestler.  It didn’t lead to some southern belle talking about being in the 1% or what was best for business.  The same was true for the Punk vs. Heyman promos and they led to AWESOME matches as a result.  That’s called hyping a match and it WORKS.

 

I watched the MITB match again for the History of WWE Championship e-book and it more than holds up.  The fans there look like a bunch of girl scouts compared to the ONS 06 crowd though.  Note one thing though: for at least part of the match, the fans are chanting LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS.  They’re talking about Cena, not Punk, and that’s why Cena is Cena and Punk is Punk.  Also the line about “we didn’t know how that was going to end and that’s what makes it great” is as true of a line as anything you’ll ever hear about wrestling.

 

Overall, I liked this quite a bit though I don’t agree with Punk on a lot of stuff.  He is indeed a huge deal at the moment, but he’s not as big as Cena and never will be due to the reasons I’ve gone over.  I love the mentality of being better than you are now though and it’s something a lot of people would benefit from.  Good stuff and worth seeing though.

 

Side notes:

 

Punk looks a lot like Sami Zayn when he wears a hat.

There’s a voiceover early on and I thought it sounded like Road Dogg.  It was Scott Armstrong, which means I was close.

For those of you unaware, Scott Armstrong is Road Dogg’s brother.

Kofi Kingston and CM Punk are some of the most forgettable tag team champions ever.

I still don’t buy that Punk wasn’t signed at least 24 hours before he cut the Pipe Bomb promo.

The Ferris Bueller’s Day Off bit was GREAT.




On This Day: September 22, 2008 – Monday Night Raw: Another Anniversary Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

 

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Monday Nitro – April 27, 1998: Less Is More

Monday Nitro #137
Date: April 27, 1998
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

This week is split into two episode instead of the usual three due to the basketball games on TNT. Tonight is one hour followed by a two hour edition tomorrow night. Tonight’s focus will likely be on Bret Hart explaining why he did what he did last week instead of fighting against the NWO like he had talked about doing for weeks. Other than that we’re closing in on Slamboree which already has a pair of matches (Hart vs. Savage and Sting/Giant vs. Outsiders) almost set. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls get us going. Alex Wright tries to sneak in and dance with them but the girls walk away. Wright is taken away by security.

The announcers talk about Sting’s challenge to the Outsiders.

Here are Nash and Savage to open things up. Nash does a Hall impression for the survey, won by WCW. Big Kev says Hall was last seen with a pina colada at Trader Vick’s and his hair looked great. The challenge is accepted for Slamboree. Nash talks about the Wolfpack, which now consists of himself and Savage and their first target is Bret Hart. Savage is ready for Bret because this right here is where it’s at. Nash says there are going to be more defectors, starting with Konnan. Konnan comes out to do his schtick and says that Hogan doesn’t want any part of the Wolfpack. Nash and Konnan sing a bit to end the segment.

Video on Juventud Guerrera, emphasizing that he will never quit.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Jericho comes out with the portrait of Malenko and says he’d love to beat up Quasi-Juice Guerrera like he did when he took this mask, which is a bad mama-jamma of a necklace. Jericho “interviews” the portrait but Dean won’t celebrate being the new fry cook at Harry’s Burgers. Instead Dean can live vicariously through Jericho who is dedicating this match to Dean.

Chavo ducks a right hand and pounds away to start. A belly to back suplex puts and we hit a quick chinlock. Jericho comes back with a quick hot shot and some kicks in the corner but Chavo dropkicks Jericho into Eddie for two. Chavo jumps over Chris in the corner but gets caught in a quick Liontamer for the submission in just over two minutes.

Eddie rips into Chavo for the loss post match and slaps him in the face.

Nitro Party winner from a Gold’s Gym in Indiana.

We go back to Thunder to see the Buff Bagwell injury. Tony and Bobby talk about their own neck surgeries and how scary they can be. Bagwell can indeed move his limbs but had to undergo surgery today and we’ll get an update tomorrow night.

Video of Savage’s rant about Bret Hart on Thunder.

Here are Hogan, Disciple and Bischoff with something to say. Bischoff asks Hogan what’s possibly left for him to do after winning the title again. Hogan says all of his fans know he’s done everything there is to do and he’ll be it all until the end of eternity. We’ve now seen what a joke Nash is and now and there’s no one left for him to beat. If Konnan is the best Nash can find, he’s got a major problem. Hogan goes into a somewhat racist rant about how there are a dozen Konnan’s waiting to go pick fruit in Los Angeles. As for Bret, he knows the power lies with Hollywood because Hogan is for life. Not much to say here.

US Title: Scott Norton vs. Goldberg

Now this is a better idea. Norton jumps him to start, only to get taken down by a spinning neckbreaker. They head to the floor with the champion being sent into the post for almost no effect. Back inside and Norton gets caught in an ankle lock but ropes are quickly grabbed. Norton pounds away in the corner and hits the shoulder breaker for two. A Fujiwara Armbar does nothing for Scott so the spear and Jackhammer retain Goldberg’s title in less than three minutes.

We see Bret beating up Piper to end last week’s show.

The announcers talk about how awesome Bret Hart is with Heenan saying Bret has always been out for himself.

Here’s Bret for the first time since last week with less than four minutes left in the show. Bret says it’s nice to be in the house that Hollywood Hogan built to get the fans against him. He talks about suffering for your crimes, even though he’s committed no crime. Wrestling is a long money trench and a plastic hallway filled with pimps and thieves.

If Savage feels bad about last week, then Bret will meet the “half troll and half lizard” in the ring. Gene again asks him why he helped Hogan but he wants to say it to Hogan’s face tomorrow night. Gene asks why Bret screwed over Savage after complaining about being screwed. Bret calls Gene judgmental and says he’s tired of sitting on the bench before leaving.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is a good example of what’s wrong with three hour Nitros. In 45 minutes of air time, we had two title matches, three promos, angle advancement in multiple stories, two PPV matches confirmed and a new member added to a stable. The other hours that we usually have to sit through don’t need to be there and really don’t add anything significant to the show. More wrestling would have been nice, but this did a solid job of building to Slamboree without overstaying its welcome. That’s a very difficult balance to find but it’s almost impossible to do in a three hour show.

 

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On This Day: September 15, 2003 – Monday Night Raw: Goldberg’s Funeral

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




On This Day: September 7, 2008 – Unforgiven 2008: What A Scrambled Web We Weave

Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re at the end of the Unforgiven series here and the most important thing is that we have a pretty unique concept to it tonight. This time, it’s based around Championship Scrambles for the world titles. The idea is you have 5 people and a 20 minute time limit. Whoever gets the last pinfall (I’m not sure if you have to pin the champion) before the time is up wins the match and the championship. There are three of them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the Scramble but then shifts over into Jericho vs. Shawn which is based on Jericho accidentally hitting Shawn’s wife in the face and setting up an unsanctioned match with them tonight.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero

The guys come in on a random draw with Hardy vs. The Miz. Man who would have thought Miz and Henry would be the biggest stars out of this group? Miz is just a chick magnet here. You don’t have to pin the current champion (Mark Henry) to become the interim champion (best word I can think of for it). These two will fight for five minutes until someone else comes in.

Miz and Matt exchange some pinfall attempts even though they don’t really mean much at this point. The corner clothesline misses for the Chick Magnet and Matt gets a cool move in as Miz is caught in the corner and Matt pulls him out by his legs into a sitout powerbomb. It’s kind of hard to describe but basically Matt pulled him out of the air into the powerbomb. We get a history of Cameron, North Carolina which has like 600 people in it to fill time since nothing in the first 19:00 is going to mean anything.

According to Striker this is the brainchild of Pat Patterson. He also came up with the Royal Rumble so maybe this will be good. Miz hits the Reality Check but Matt falls to the floor. Eventually that gets two as Chavo is the third guy in. Ok so now it’s a triple threat for five minutes. Chavo hits a Frog Splash on Matt for the pin to become the Interim Champion very quickly. I don’t think he has to get pinned to change it but I’m not sure. Yeah it can be anyone pinning anyone so it’s like a triple threat.

Chavo busts out a rolling Liger kick of all things and then a suicide dive to further kill Miz. Everyone goes to one corner but Miz shoves them both off. He busts out a cross body to take out both guys, getting two on Hardy. Matt takes over and pops Miz with a right hand and a Side Effect to Chavo gives Matt the Interim Title. The fans are way behind Matt here and they should be.

Everyone slows down as Mark Henry comes in at #4. Everyone goes after Mark when the right answer would be to run from him. If he can’t catch you, he can’t pin you. Henry takes them all down with ease, not selling anyone like a good monster. The Slam gets the pin on Chavo to make him Interim Champion. Hardy escapes the Slam but gets knocked to the floor quickly.

Again, why does everyone go after Henry? We’ve established that you can pin anyone but wrestlers are stupid above all other things. Henry takes turns giving people bearhugs to people and finally settles on Hardy. Here’s Finlay to complete the group with five minutes to go. Finlay goes straight for Henry and actually pounds him down, getting a DDT for two. Horny slides Finlay the club and Henry is thrown to the floor after a shot with it. A Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay Interim champion at 3:45 to go.

Miz comes in and takes out Finlay with a missile dropkick but walks into a Twist of Fate and Matt is champion at 3:15 to go. Henry and everyone else is back in now and Hardy starts playing defense, breaking up every possible cover. Two minutes left. Henry slams everyone in sight other than Hardy and Miz rolls up Finlay for two. Miz is cut a little bit on the forehead.

Finlay tries the Celtic Cross on Hardy but Henry breaks it up. The Slam gets two on Miz as Hardy saves again. Thirty seconds left and Hardy starts throwing people to the floor in some GREAT psychology. Everyone winds up in a pile in the corner and time runs out, making Matt the official champion.

Rating: B. Fun match here as the ending few minutes after Hardy got the Interim Title were great with him THINKING through the whole thing, knowing that he had to keep anyone from pinning anyone and finding ways to prevent that from happening. This was really fun and Matt would hold the title for awhile until Jack Swagger debuted and eventually took it from him, prompting Matt’s ill-advised heel turn.

The Hardys celebrate in the back after a video for Mania tickets.

HHH and Punk are warming up. They’re the champions coming in.

Should Big Show have been in the title match? Run up your cell phone bill and let us know!

Raw Tag Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy

If nothing else we get the Priceless theme here which is always a treat. JTG vs. Rhodes to start us off. The racial stereotypes take over and clear the ring quickly with a double clothesline from Shad sending the champions to the floor. Shad vs. DiBiase takes up some time and Ted does about as well as Cody did. The challengers hit a nice double team move ending in a slingshot clothesline by Jimmy the Gimmick.

Legacy finally realizes that JTG is beating them up and takes over with double teaming. They work on JTG’s arm and show how much they’ve grown in the past few years as they’re not much here. Jerry gets on Cole for talking too much as JTG fights back, hitting a belly to back suplex. Cody prevents the tag and Legacy cheats like proper heels. I get a little smile on my face every time JTG gets punched. I can’t help it after watching over 35 weeks of him on NXT.

Cody works on the arm a little more and then slams JTG near the corner. A moonsault (decent one too) misses and it’s hot tag to Shad. Remember when JTG vs. Shad was supposed to be a big feud? Neither do I but some people actually believe it would be. Shad cleans house and I can see why people thought he’d be a good bodyguard style character. The guy has a good look and can do some power stuff.

Not that it really matters here as Cody grabs a DDT on him to slow him down. It only gets two but the momentum was stopped dead. Cody comes in legally now and gets his head taken off via a lariat. In a not great ending, JTG rolls up Rhodes as Shad hits DiBiase. DiBiase stumbles into the package and rolls it over so that JTG gets pinned. Why didn’t he just let go?

Rating: C-. Not as bad as most Raw matches but still it’s nothing all that great. They tried and Cryme Tyme was over, but Legacy at this point wasn’t a threat of any kind. Neither had a finisher that I remember and they came off as rookies with zero personality (intentionally I think) and didn’t do anything until a few years later when they split from Orton, which took years to get to.

There’s a post match brawl until Manu debuts to help Legacy. He joined them for like a month and no one cared.

Shawn is having his bad arm taped up for his match with Jericho. Shawn is in fighting clothes and has a partial tear in his elbow tendon.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. The feud had been going for awhile before this but at Summerslam, Shawn had said that he was listening to his doctors for once and was walking away due to his eye and various other injuries. Jericho said he didn’t accept that because Shawn was doing it in the spotlight, unlike how he should do it by resigning quietly.

Jericho wanted Shawn to admit that it was Jericho that retired him but Shawn said no, but to tell your family that you’ll never be Shawn Michaels. With that, Jericho went for the eye but Shawn ducked and Jericho punched Shawn’s wife. Jericho, the consummate heel, said that it was Shawn’s fault. Shawn vows revenge and it’s an unsanctioned match tonight. This easily won feud of the year and the match at No Mercy won match of the year. This is no slouch though.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

This is unsanctioned and it’s pin or submission only. In essence, it’s no holds barred. Cole says Shawn told him of a Bible verse which talks about the Walls of Jericho coming down. That’s a great line. Why is there a WWE referee in an unsanctioned match? Couldn’t anyone referee it/not need a referee? Shawn takes his cowboy boot off to whack Jericho with it as he’s going after the eye just like Chris did to him.

They’re into the crowd already and it’s been all Shawn. The injury is to the triceps, not the elbow. Jericho is bleeding from the nose so Shawn hits a slingshot into the post. Shawn’s chair shot misses and Chris sends him into the table (doesn’t break it) to take over. Now we get a breakable table set up but instead Jericho just throws it at Shawn to keep him down. Chris tries to powerbomb him through the table but Shawn fires off punches. Jericho just drops him face first onto the apron instead to keep the advantage. That looked painful.

Back inside now and Jericho works Shawn over with a chair. Jericho wedges said chair in the corner but misses a charge into the opposite corner, ramming into the post. Jericho can’t suplex Shawn over the top through the table as Shawn lands on the apron. Back in Shawn nips up and just chokes Jericho down. The elbow hits and Shawn is all fired up. Sorry for the play by play but this is one of those matches where you almost have to have all of the individual details for the other stuff to make sense.

Shawn sets for Chin Music but stops to punch Jericho more. Off to a Crossface but Jericho manages to send his head into the chair, reinjuring the eye. Jericho peppers the eye so Shawn fires off right hands. Shawn tries a piledriver but gets reversed into the Walls instead. Shawn gets to a rope but THANKFULLY the referee doesn’t break it. Instead HBK finds a fire extinguisher from somewhere to spray in Chris’ eyes to break the hold.

They go to the floor and Jericho goes into the barricade as it’s all Shawn here. There’s a suplex on the ramp and both guys are down. Here’s Lance Cade and Shawn beats him up too. Cade gets in a shot to the arm though and Jericho wraps the arm around the post for good measure. Jericho hits the arm with a chair as Shawn is in real trouble. They set to Pillmanize the arm but Shawn kicks Cade into the ropes to crotch Jericho. Chin Music puts Cade down and clocks Jericho with the chair, sending him to the floor through the table.

Shawn works over Jericho with the chair now and loads up the announcers’ table as per wrestling law. Cade is laid out on the table while Jericho is on the floor. Shawn sets to go up top but instead coems down and puts Jericho on top of Cade on the table. Here’s your HUGE spot of the match as Shawn drops an elbow onto the back of Jericho and pops up somehow. That was awesome!

Back in the ring Shawn whips Jericho with the belt and won’t let up. He pulls Jericho’s arm around his own neck (Jericho’s arm is around Jericho’s neck) and pounds away at the eye as the referee is begging him to have mercy. Shawn just doesn’t care and goes back after the eye until in an unsanctioned match, the referee stops it, drawing a very mixed reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches where blood would have really improved things. Having Shawn in a white shirt and having him covered in Jericho’s blood to end it and looking down at himself and not caring how far he let it go would have been a great ending. That being said, it’s still a great revenge match as Jericho did everything imaginable to make the fans hate him and it worked. Good stuff here, although the lack of a clearer finish hurt it.

Shawn goes after Jericho again post match and superkicks the referee when he tries to stop him. The fans are very pleased.

Legacy (Manu included) is in the back when Orton comes in. Rhodes introduces Orton to (named) Manu and Manu praises the champs. Orton says it was luck instead of skill. Orton says talent is forever but luck can run out, so no he’s not impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin

Same rules as earlier and Jeff starts with Shelton who is currently a boring heel and US Champion. Shelton says he’s the Gold Standard. Yep, that’s really the best they could come up with him. Hardy grabs a rollup to start and they’re moving out there. They kind of botch something as you could tell Shelton was supposed to do something but Hardy moved. He immediately grabs a headlock and you can hear him talking to Jeff. Snap suplex gets two for Shelton.

JR talks about the Grand Slam Title and Hardy looking to become the 7th Grand Slam winner ever. Hardy takes him to the mat and gets a bunch of nearfalls. There’s the countdown and Kendrick (with Big Zeke Jackson) is in third. He was channeling some serious Brian Pillman around this time too. Zeke doesn’t come with him here for some reason. Kendrick chills outside and Shelton tries to hook a German on Hardy off the apron. Kendrick knocks Shelton to the floor, possibly by mistake, and then goes after Hardy.

A forearm gets two on Hardy and Kendrick is all lit up. Jeff grabs a faceplant on Kendrick out of nowhere and becomes Interim Champion in a POP. Back to Shelton now who Hardy covers, probably out of instinct. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash so Jeff rolls him up again. Twist of Fate is countered into Shelton’s Paydirt finisher for two. Kendrick hits Sliced Bread and is Interim Champion.

Up fourth is MVP and I have no idea if he’s a face or a heel. The fans cheer for him so we’ll say face. He throws out the white guys and beats on Shelton. MVP loads up the Drive By on Shelton but Kendrick comes out of nowhere with a SICK leg lariat to a huge reaction. Jeff is back in now and hits the slingshot dropkick on MVP and Shelton at the same time. Shelton finally takes Kendrick down with a Samoan Drop.

Everyone knocks each other down as we’re waiting for HHH to come in and dominate everything in sight. Kendrick counters a Shelton powerbomb into a nice rana. Here’s HHH and Kendrick has been Interim Champion for five minutes plus now. Facebuster for MVP and a spinebuster for Kendrick sets up a Pedigree to make HHH Interim Champion 48 seconds after his music hit.

We’re under four minutes now as Shelton takes a beating from HHH on the floor. MVP and Hardy are in the ring now and a Twist of Fate makes Hardy the Interim Champion (POP) with about 3 minutes left. Sliced Bread is kind of countered so Hardy hits a sitout gordbuster and goes up for the Swanton. HHH makes the save and Pedigrees Kendrick again to get the title at 2:00. Jeff Swantons Kendrick immediately and is champion with 1:45 to go.

Pedigree is countered and we’re under 90 seconds. Hardy dives on HHH and the other three do a Tower of Doom spot to put everyone down at 40 seconds left. Whisper in the Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Shelton. HHH runs back in for a Pedigree on MVP and Hardy shows his idiocy by not breaking it up as HHH wins the belt back with 1 second left. Hardy’s time was coming.

Rating: B-. Nowhere near as good of a match as this was about Hardy and HHH having another contest. HHH did his thing and is somehow a 13 time champion or whatever. Not as good as the first one because we all knew it would be Hardy or HHH at the end of the day. Kendrick was shockingly champion for the longest amount of time while MVP never was anything more than a bonus. The ending was stupid too with not breaking up that cover which he saw.

Shawn says he’s not happy with what happened and he’ll be back for more. He’s content but there’s no closure. He wants to hurt Jericho like that every night and the worst is yet to come for Jericho.

Punk is in the back when Orton comes up. He calls Punk a fluke and Punk runs him down, saying he’s always hurt and all that stuff. Punk says he’s busy at the moment when Legacy attacks. Kofi tries to come in for the save but is beaten down also. Punk gets Punted and is out cold. This wouldn’t be paid off for over two years but they FINALLY got to it eventually.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Mike Adamle, the GM of Raw, says Punk is out of the title match and that he’ll find someone else.

Here’s Big Show to chat for a bit. He offers his services to replace Punk in the title match. Show says go vote and makes a bunch of election references for some reason. He asks the fans if they’ll vote for him and goes to leave but the still fat Vickie waddles out. She blasts him for no apparent reason and this is going nowhere. She throws him out and that causes…druids?

Show is laughing as a casket is brought out. This takes FOREVER until Taker pops up on the screen. He says he’s coming for her like he promised and she’ll burn and all that jazz. Show holds Vickie there and this takes forever. Taker grabs Vickie by the throat and Show turns heel, knocking Taker out. The beating goes on for awhile because we have 15 people in three matches so there’s almost no midcard to speak of.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Orton was on Raw and called out Punk for disgracing the title. Orton was injured at this point and Punk called him an afterthought. That set up the punt earlier.

Regal is talking to Adamle and says he should be in the Scramble. Adamle says he’s on the list but Punk might be able to go.

Raw World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. ???

Batista vs. JBL gets us going in the main event here. Batista takes over quickly with power (duh) but JBL hooks a sleeper. Big Dave breaks that quickly and throws on a pretty freaking good Figure Four. It’s better than most HHH ever used. JBL no sells the knee work and beats on Batista outside. Kane comes in third and that wasn’t five minutes. That might not have been four minutes.

He’s a heel here if you’re not all that up to date on your Kane face/heel alignment. He hits his low dropkick and I guess if no one gets a pin here, Punk is still champion? JBL is still down so it’s one on one here. Side slam puts Batista down and Kane misses the clothesline off the top. Batista misses a spear but breaks out of the chokeslam. JBL pops back in and walks into a chokeslam to make Kane Interim Champion. Rey, complete with mowhawk, is in fourth and that wasn’t five minutes either.

Rey knocks Kane to the floor but JBL comes back and pops him in the face with a punch. He speeds things up but Kane ducks a 619 and takes Rey’s stupid looking mowhawked head off with a clothesline. Batista and Rey team up to beat up Kane and then Mysterio tries to steal a pin on Batista. JBL beats up various people as the fifth man is….Chris Jericho. You know, because no one is better suited than the guy that is walking slower than an 80 year old woman.

Jericho gets in after 50 seconds of walking down the aisle, only to have Batista spear him down. Now that just wasn’t nice. Four minutes left and Batista takes everyone down. He manages a big boot to Kane and gets two as Rey saves. Under three minutes. 619 to JBL and Batista DESTROYS Rey as he’s trying a springboard move. Rey just collapsed and it looked awesome. Two minutes left and everyone is down. Kane gets up and the clothesline gets two on Big Dave with 75 seconds left. Batista spears Kane down with 53 to go and a spinebuster makes Batista Interim Champion at 35 seconds. Rey goes after Batista and Jericho steals a pin on Kane with 4 seconds left to win the title.

Rating: D+. The problem was that once Jericho came in, everyone knew he was going to win. He was by far and away the hottest thing in the company at this point though so you can’t really argue putting the belt on him. Not a good match in the slightest but Jericho winning was a great surprise and gave Shawn vs. Jericho a new dynamic and a reason to continue, which was a good thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty decent show overall and definitely something different, but the Scrambles get old after the second one. The LONG Taker vs. Show segment is annoying because that feud was played 5 years before this show. Shawn vs. Jericho is a great brawl and the ECW match is good, but the rest is pretty weak stuff, especially since the lowest of the Scrambles was the best.

Well I’m done with Unforgiven now and there’s not much to say here. It’s just another B level show that had some good years and some bad but it’s never something worth much. It’s the Backlash of Summerslam and while that’s fine, it doesn’t make for a ton of interesting matches and stories because everything significant was done the month before. Next up will be the Great American Bash.

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 25, 2002: Well, That Happened

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2002
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,059
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Wrestlemania and the main events are set. The only change so far has been Stephanie joining Jericho on Smackdown to set up the real main event of HHH vs. Stephanie at Wrestlemania. Other than that there isn’t much to say as the midcard will fill itself in over the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

I’ve already done the March 4 and March 11 shows. The links can be found at the end of this review.

We open with a recap from the NWO on Smackdown for what they’ve done to Austin and Rock so far. Austin came out in the truck and chased the NWO off, eventually kidnapping Hall and beating the tar out of him. Why this is set to Rey Mysterio’s WCW theme music is beyond me.

Theme song.

Val Venis is at WWE New York.

Here’s the NWO to open the show with Hall pushing a wheelbarrow. Hogan doesn’t care that the fans are upset by his attack on Rock. It felt good to hurt Rock and apparently Rock will be here tonight because being hit in the head with a hammer by a 6’6 300lb man and being crushed by a semi-truck is a one week injury. Hall talks about what Austin did to him on Smackdown, setting up their Wrestlemania match. The wheelbarrow was never mentioned at all.

Recap of the WWF on Fear Factor, won by Matt Hardy.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Hardy Boyz

Billy and Chuck won the belts on Smackdown. Chuck punches Jeff down to start but gets caught in a jawbreaker. Off to Matt for some double teaming in the corner and a double suplex for two. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Billy takes Matt down with a clothesline. Chuck stomps Matt down in the corner and pounds away, only to be caught in a suplex to put both guys down.

A double tag brings in Jeff and Billy as everything breaks down. Both champions take Poetry in Motion but Billy breaks up the Swanton attempt. Billy’s cobra clutch slam gets two on Jeff but Lita comes in with the Litarana to take him down. The Twist/Swanton combination takes Billy down but Chuck superkicks Jeff down for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have enough time to go anywhere but the tag titles continue to mean nothing at all. They’re just kind of there at this point with no story at all. Billy and Chuck are the flavor of the month which is all we’ll see for the next several years. Nothing to see here.

Jericho and his new business partner Stephanie McMahon arrive. Jericho has a video for a production guy.

Austin has nothing to say.

Arn Anderson says he’ll hold the fort down until Flair gets here. Christian comes in and wants to quit because the fans are laughing at him. Diamond Dallas Page and his creepy smile pop in behind him and tells Christian that he doesn’t want to quit. See, all the negativity is holding Christian back. Page gets Christian to do the smile as well, saying it’s a start. As corny as this is, looking at what Page has accomplished with Jake Roberts and Scott Hall, I’d listen to what Page told me to do.

Austin does the WHAT bit and accepts the match with Hall.

We look at Angle putting Kane through a table and destroying his ankle with a chair from Smackdown.

Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show

Intercontinental Champion William Regal is on commentary as the winner of this gets a title shot. The champion wants Lance to win here. Storm kicks Rob down to start and tries to dive on Big Show, only to be tossed back into the ring. Show slams both guys down for two but Rob gets in some kicks and Rolling Thunder for two on Storm. Big Show throws everyone around again so the normal sized guys try to double team him. A double suplex puts both guys down so Storm brings in a chair. Rob hits a top rope kick to drive it into Show’s face and the Five Star sends him to Wrestlemania in less than three minutes.

Booker T is learning Japanese for a shampoo commercial in one of the most infamous storylines of the era.

The APA gets an invitation to the Friendly Tap. The bar owned by referee Tim White.

Rikishi vs. Booker T

Booker pounds Rikishi down into the corner but walks into a powerslam for two. A spin kick puts Rikishi down again and Booker stomps away some more. Rikishi comes back with a bad looking Samoan drop but misses a charge into the corner. A Japanese spin kick misses and Rikishi superkicks him into the corner. Booker uses the referee as a shield and kicks Rikishi down for the pin. This was nothing.

Mark Henry won the Arnold Schwarzenegger strongman challenge over the weekend.

Here are Jericho and Stephanie to show us what’s on the tape. Jericho brags about how awesome he is in the ring and how awesome he is now that he has Stephanie’s genius to help him. The tape is a clip of Jericho injuring HHH’s quad last year and putting him out for eight months. Jericho claims that the injury ruined HHH’s marriage, but Stephanie says it was because HHH is very, ahem, small.

This brings out HHH with Stephanie making small jokes all the way to the ring. HHH implies Stephanie is very wide down there with the fans not seeming to get the joke. HHH remembers Jericho is champion and asks for a match tonight even if the titles aren’t on the line. This brings out Angle who apparently has Vince’s authority to give himself a title shot tonight. Angle leaves so HHH beats up Jericho.

Mr. Perfect thinks people are tired of hearing about Austin, which is why they’re fighting tonight.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Mighty Molly

Jazz is defending of course and jumps Molly on the floor to start. She even rips up Molly’s cape to really show how EVIL she is. Molly comes back with some Japanese armdrags, only to be caught in a world’s strongest slam for two. A splash gets another two so Jazz drapes Molly over the top rope for two more. Jazz hits a butterfly suplex and the double chicken wing, only to be rolled up for three straight near falls. Molly misses a high cross body and gets caught in the fisherman’s DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it wasn’t bad or anything. At the end of the day though, no one cares about either of these girls and the crowd reaction proved it. Trish and Lita were the only girls that people cared about for a long time and as cruel as this sounds, it’s because they’re better looking than Jazz. Molly was cute but she had the personality of a door.

Post match Jazz lays out Molly. Back from a break and Arn Anderson is checking on Molly when Undertaker comes out for the beating to set up Flair vs. Taker at Wrestlemania.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle punches Jericho while he still has the belts on his shoulders. A hard clothesline gets two for Kurt and a German suplex gets the same. There’s the overhead belly to belly for two more as this is all Angle so far. Angle charges again but gets backdropped out to the floor. Jericho rips some of the padding off the barricade to drop Angle across the exposed steel.

Back inside and a reverse elbow off the top gets two followed by some elbow drops for the same. Jericho chops him down but Angle counters a Walls attempt into a small package for two. A hot shot puts Angle down but he runs the corner to suplex Jericho down for another near fall. JR points out the obvious flaw in the match: the fans don’t like either guy so there’s no one to cheer for.

Rolling Germans take the champion over but Jericho escapes the ankle lock into a Walls attempt but Angle rolls through that into the ankle lock. Jericho grabs a rope and puts on the Walls but Kurt makes the rope. Chris throws in a title belt and the ring bell before poking the referee in the eye. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Angle hits Jericho with a belt for two. The ankle lock is broken by a rope grab after only a few seconds and an enziguri sends Kurt to the floor. Cue Kane to throw Angle back into the ring so the Breakdown can end Angle.

Rating: C+. This was good for the most part as you would expect from these two but the ending was WAY overbooked for what they were going for. JR was absolutely right with the whole “fans don’t know who to cheer for” thing, which really dragged the match down. Still though, given how lame the wrestling has been in previous weeks, this was solid stuff.

Kane swings a chair at Angle but Kurt ducks and bails through the crowd.

During the break Flair arrived, over an hour and a half into the show. He heard about Arn and immediately left. Ok then.

Hogan goes into Rock’s locker room.

Back from a break and Hogan is talking to the Rock….who is made of cardboard. Hogan talks a lot of trash and says nothing of note at all. He punches the cardboard down after talking about how big of a legend he is.

The APA goes to the Friendly Tap and get jumped by Billy and Chuck. All of the other patrons were gay men/men in drag as part of some joke that wasn’t funny.

The NWO wishes Perfect good luck tonight.

Mr. Perfect vs. Steve Austin

Austin shoves him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Perfect takes him into the opposite corner and gets flipped off for his efforts. A shoulder block puts Austin down and a headlock sends us to a stalemate. They chop it out in the corner and Austin whips him around the ring a few times, getting two off a clothesline. An elbow to the jaw puts Steve down but Austin shrugs it off, does his stomping and hits the Stunner for the clean pin.

Rating: D. This was there to set up whatever post match stuff we’ve got going on. Perfect was a good guy to bring back in but there was clearly nothing for him to do this time around. Nothing to see here as the crowd didn’t care as most of them probably don’t remember Perfect in the first place.

Post match Hall brings the wheelbarrow full of cinder blocks to the ring. The NWO comes out for the beatdown and one of the blocks is broken over Austin’s right knee. This would explain why Austin spent the next few weeks with his left knee heavily taped.

Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. That was my response to almost everything that happened on tonight’s show: that just happened and it didn’t make me want to see anything at Wrestlemania at all. Austin vs. Hall doesn’t do anything for me, Rock vs. Hogan exists but there’s no Rock to build the match and I don’t know of anyone who wants to see Stephanie vs. HHH. Nothing to see here as Wrestlemania 18 continues to look incredibly lame.

Here’s the March 4 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/09/monday-night-raw-march-4-2002-its-two-weeks-before-mania-right/

Here’s the March 11 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/23/monday-night-raw-march-11-2002-for-the-only-time-in-history-steve-austin-vs-hulk-hogan/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 11, 2002: Time For A Wedding!

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2002
Location: Jonesboro Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is going to be one of those one idea shows, as tonight is all about Stephanie and HHH renewing their wedding vows. These would be the vows originally made by HHH, speaking in a falsetto voice since Stephanie was unconscious in the front seat of his car. Other than that, it’s the go home show for No Way Out, but we need to focus on HHH and Stephanie instead of waiting for next week, after the PPV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package hyping up the wedding vows tonight.

Theme song.

Here’s Undertaker with something to say to open us up. Taker respects the face pop he gets but calls the fans a bunch of hillbillies. He rants about not being respected by Rock on Thursday and we get a clip of Rock laying Undertaker out, giving Maven the pin and the Hardcore Title. Taker responded by tombstoning Rock onto a limo. He threatens to beat Rock until Rock respects him. That’s not quite as good as “the beatings will continue until morale improves.” This brings out Flair to talk about respect a lot and make Undertaker vs. Austin for later tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Non-title of course. Edge jumps Jericho during his entrance and beats him around ringside until we get a bell. Back in and Jericho pounds away at the head instead of Edge’s heavily taped ribs. First the arm last week and now the ribs? Come on Jericho. A clothesline gets two for Edge but Jericho comes back with an elbow to the face and another to the ribs, restoring my faith in the Ayatollah.

Jericho stays on the ribs but misses a charge into the post, giving Edge an opening. A catapult into the corner gets two for Edge but Jericho comes right back with a bulldog, only to miss the Lionsault. Edge misses the spear but counters the Walls attempt into a rollup for two. Jericho drapes him over the top rope but goes to get a title, allowing Edge to spear him down for two. Not that it matters as Jericho hits him him in the ribs with the belt and the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Edge wasn’t at the main event level yet but his time was coming. This kind of basic psychology is all a match needs most of the time and it’s annoying when it’s just not there. This is the kind of stuff we could use more of today: world champions or main event level talent beating midcarders instead of other main eventers. You can save the main event matches for actual, you know, MAIN EVENTS.

Vince says he’s here in Arkansas because he’s fond of hogs. He’s here for the last show before the NWO arrives and takes over. He won’t answer if he’s going to walk Stephanie down the aisle.

We get another clip of the NWO. I guess this is a theme tonight. Remember that this is a mere THREE MONTHS after the Invasion ended. Again, that thing could have gone on for years by bringing in big names every now and then to give the Alliance a boost.

HHH and Stephanie run into each other in the back with Stephanie begging him to not go after Kurt. The baby is fine after Stephanie was run over (by a person) on Smackdown. HHH says he won’t go after Kurt but he has to take care of something first.

Goldust vs. Rikishi

Goldust tries to jump Rikishi but gets punched away. It turns into a slugout with Goldust punching him down, only to get caught in a Samoan drop. The Banzai Drop is countered with two legs to the groin, but RVD comes in for the DQ a few seconds later. Seriously, Goldust vs. Van Dam? That’s kind of a waste.

HHH runs into Arn Anderson and Arn just happens to have a FedEx package for him. It sounds like a video tape when HHH shakes it.

Austin says he was scared when he got here because it’s a dry county (meaning alcohol can’t be sold). This is at the height of the WHAT bit so Austin lists off all of the health problems he had because of the lack of alcohol before listing off all of them alcohol he and Debra bought in another county before coming here. He and the Arkansas hillbillies are going to disrespect Undertaker all night long. He’ll take the Undisputed Title on Sunday too. Somehow this takes about five minutes to get through.

The wedding singers practice for later.

Godfather vs. Kurt Angle

This is during the failed Godfather Goes Legit period where he owned an escort service instead of being a pimp. Angle pounds him down but gets caught by a knee/boot to the chest/shoulder area. Kurt is like screw that and drills him in the leg before ending this in less than a minute with the ankle lock.

Post match Angle puts the hold on again before making a vow of his own: he’ll make HHH tap on Sunday.

HHH gives Stephanie a new ring. Much crying ensues.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Jericho jumps Austin during the entrance and Undertaker takes advantage with some Deadman choking. They head inside for the opening bell and Austin comes back with some right hands and the Thesz Press for more right hands. They run the ropes a bit before Undertaker takes Austin down with the jumping clothesline. Back to the floor and Taker is whipped knees first into the steps, only to come back with a clothesline to send Austin onto the concrete. That goes nowhere so we head back inside with Taker getting a near fall. Austin escapes the tombstone and hits the Stunner but here’s Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Remember when these guys main evented the biggest Summerslam ever a few years ago? Apparently WWE doesn’t either as we’ve got them in a five minute throwaway match to close out the first hour of Raw. Nothing to see here as these two are clearly in need of ANYTHING new.

Post match Jericho hits Austin with a belt and a cooler.

Jericho bailed during the break.

Tazz vs. Booker T.

Tag champion vs. challenger for Sunday. Simple idea for a simple PPV match. Booker pounds Tazz down into the corner but Tazz comes back with some clothesline. A side kick puts Tazz right back down and there’s the Spinarooni to annoy JR. Tazz comes back with the Tazmission, only to have Spike and Test come in for a distraction so Booker can kick him low. The referee gets rid of Spike so Test can kick Tazz’s head off, giving Booker the pin. Nothing to see here at all.

The Dudleyz are at WWF New York. Bubba is in his old trance for some reason before demanding a title match at the PPV. Not that they would get one but at least they’re acting like the titles mean something.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

They’re in bikinis so this isn’t going to last long. This is as a result of Torrie having her hand raised after she and Stacy won a posedown against Billy and Chuck. It’s exactly what you would expect: Jerry makes erection jokes, the girls do stuff that puts them in various, ahem, positions, the referee is rolled over, Stacy wins with a bad looking rollup. This was what it was.

Stephanie leaves to get dressed but laments that her dad isn’t walking her down the aisle. HHH looks at the package he was given earlier.

Mr. Perfect cheats to beat a national chess champion. These bits never get old.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Christian, currently in a slump, runs in behind RVD to get an early advantage. Rob misses a charge into the post and gets draped over the top rope. Christian knocks him onto the floor and stomps away a lot before ripping at Van Dam’s face in the ring. Rob gets back up and hits a moonsault press out of the corner for two, only to have Christian pound him right back to the mat. A powerslam gets two for Christian and it’s off to a chinlock. Make that three different chinlocks, none of which have the fans responding at all.

Back up and Rob hits a spin kick to put Christian down, followed by a monkey flip out of the corner. A Regal Roll into a middle rope moonsault (barely connected at all) gets two for Rob but Rolling Thunder hits knees. The reverse DDT gets two for Christian and it’s time for him to throw a tantrum. He writhes around on the mat, allowing Rob to come in off the top with the Five Star for the pin in a funny ending.

Rating: C-. The ending was good but there wasn’t much leading up to it. Christian was nowhere near being a big deal on his own yet as he would have to wait years before he became anything of note. Van Dam would be the same kind of guy for almost his entire WWE run, which isn’t bad when you think about it.

Goldust pops up on screen to challenge RVD for No Way Out.

Arn Anderson tells HHH to call Linda.

HHH calls Linda (naturally we can hear everything she says) who tells him that she sent him the FedEx package. It is indeed a video tape which someone sent to her and she immediately sent it to HHH. HHH plays the tape and it’s a doctor that told HHH and Stephanie that their baby was fine as an actor in a commercial. Dun dun DUNN! Stephanie isn’t pregnant, which would have been a bigger revelation had this story not started last week.

Stephanie keeps up the lie to the wedding singers. Vince pops up behind her in a tux and cuts a promo on her before agreeing to walk her down the aisle. Howard Finkel pops in to try to tell Vince what HHH found out but Vince tells him to leave.

Time for the vows and Vince is already annoyed at the WHAT chants. Now we get a wedding song because this segment isn’t already going to go on forever. We know where it’s going because we already saw the payoff. Why not have HHH reveal it during the ceremony to actually surprise the crowd? I’m running out of things to talk about to pass the time during this WAY too long song. Seriously they sing for FOUR MINUTES.

It’s finally time for the vows. Stephanie does a traditional series of them and now it’s time for HHH to end the whole thing. It’s exactly what you would expect: he loves her, she’s the mother of his child, she’s a no good lying witch. HHH erupts on her for only thinking of herself and trying to manipulate him into doing whatever she wants. The marriage is over and there’s a Pedigree for Vince and Stephanie’s EVIL face to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s the major problem at the end of the day: how does this wedding, which DOMINATED the show, make me want to buy No Way Out at all? The NWO, the world title match, and Undertaker vs. Rock (not even on the show tonight) all came off as afterthoughts compared to an angle that started and ended in a single week. There was zero reason this couldn’t have happened next week instead as we set up HHH vs. Stephanie at Wrestlemania.

Here’s No Way Out if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/no-way-out-2002-if-an-invasion-happens-and-no-one-cares-does-it-matter/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2002: Chris Jericho Should Know Better

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2002
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,643
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another one of those series that I started but haven’t touched in six months. The good thing for me is I’m up to February and I’ve already done three weeks of March, meaning I can make up a lot of ground in a hurry. This is the first of four shows in a row I’ll be doing as we’re just passed the Rumble and heading towards No Way Out. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince threatening to bring in the NWO if Ric Flair doesn’t sell his half of the company. Flair agreed but Vince waned to sign the documents in the ring. Austin came out as well, convincing Flair to not sell and rip up the contract.

Flair says he’s been having second thoughts but he stands by his decision. However, if Vince brings in the NWO there will be huge problems.

Theme song.

Tonight it’s Rock/Austin vs. Jericho/Undertaker. Now that’s a main event.

Here’s HHH with something to say. He wants a piece of Kurt Angle after Angle attacked him last week on Smackdown. HHH has waited four days and isn’t waiting any longer so get out here RIGHT NOW. Instead he gets Booker T who says the two of them have something in common: intensity. The difference though is that Booker is a winner but HHH is a whiner. Here’s a referee and we have an opening match.

Booker T vs. HHH

HHH sends him into the steps and there’s the bell as we get inside. The Game pounds him in the head but stops to yell at the referee, allowing Booker to superkick him down. A high elbow to the jaw but the Bookend is countered into a spinebuster. There’s the facebuster but Booker escapes the Pedigree. The ax kick misses and the second Pedigree attempt connects, only to have Angle come in for the fast DQ.

The Angle Slam puts HHH down and makes his liver shake, according to JR. How does he know what a shaky liver looks like?

Post break and HHH is looking for Angle. I think we have a running theme tonight. Apparently Kurt was heading for Vince’s office.

We go to the Divas locker room where cameras aren’t a problem. Billy and Chuck come in which freaks the girls out. They show off their new poster and challenge Stacy and Torrie to a pose down on Smackdown.

HHH is still looking for Angle but finds cops guarding Vince’s doors. Angle comes to the door but the cops hold him back. Vince has made Angle vs. HHH for HHH’s Mania title shot at No Way Out. Isn’t Raw Flair’s show?

Rob Van Dam vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Ray pounds him into the corner but Rob jumps over him, setting up a leg trip and Rolling Thunder. Stacy Keibler, the Dudleyz’ manager, distracts the referee but the Dudleys can’t hit What’s Up. D-Von is ejected but Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb to put RVD down. There’s no one to send in the tables though so Bubba has to get two off a neckbreaker instead. A suplex puts Rob down and Bubba drops a bunch of elbows for two. The middle rope backsplash misses (of course) and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see at all here as there was zero doubt as to who was winning. Bubba as a singles guy was an idea that didn’t work at all in 2002 but they pushed him for months anyway. The problem here was he never became anything other that Bubba Ray as a singles guy, as opposed to an entirely new character in Bully Ray. It’s the same reason why Bret Hart’s singles push took awhile to get off the ground: he took time to come into his own as a character.

Post match Goldust pops up on screen to sing When You Wish Upon a Star. He wants RVD for some reason so he sneaks in through the crowd and hits Shattered Dreams.

Stephanie has a very creepy smile on her face while HHH rants about Angle. She has a surprise for him later. If the internet hat been a bigger thing back then, that face would have been a meme for years.

Undertaker is ticked off but Jericho says it’s all cool tonight.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Acolytes

If there has ever been a more forgettable tag team title reign than Spike and Tazz, I can’t come up with it, hence why it’s forgettable. This is under elimination rules. Chuck pounds on Tazz to start but walks into a hard clothesline. Tazz suplexes Chuck down and brings in Spike for a top rope double stomp, only to have Chuck easily break up the Dudley Dog. Off to Billy for some stomping and a big flapjack for two.

Chuck chokes Spike on the ropes and Billy rams him into the barricade a few times for good measure. Spike finally grabs a suplex to put Chuck down and it’s off to Farrooq vs. Billy. A lot of things break down with the APA hitting double spinebusters on Billy and Chuck and a double powerbomb on Chuck, only to have Billy hit a quick Fameasser to pin Farrooq. Spike comes in with a quick Dudley Dog on Billy to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. The idea of pushing the champions makes perfect sense, but having two eliminations in a span of twenty seconds doesn’t make for an interesting ending. That’s the problem here: it was such a fast match that it didn’t have time to go anywhere and it took away whatever they were shooting for.

Here’s Vince for his weekly complaining. He talks about Flair not doing the right thing last week when he wouldn’t sell out to McMahon. After looking at a clip from Smackdown, Vince wants Flair out here RIGHT NOW. Vince demands an explanation but calls Flair a liar before Ric can say anything. See, Flair wasn’t going to sell out because of the NWO but because Flair was selfish.

Flair has to be the Nature Boy and loves the power that comes with being an owner. Ric says that’s not it, so Vince accuses Austin of getting into Flair’s head. Again that’s not it, so Vince finally lets Flair explain. Naturally it’s all because of the fans, sending Vince over the edge. The fans have no idea what’s good for business, so the NWO is coming to take care of Vince’s problems. We get a shot of Hogan, Hall and Nash with Vince saying there will be no way out when they arrive. If there was a point to this segment, it went over my head.

Arn Anderson and the Stooges talk about how bad the NWO is. Anderson thinks Flair made a mistake on Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and has to undergo an intense check for brass knuckles. Rikishi takes over with a quick superkick and a clothesline but Regal comes back with the unnamed knee trembler. Regal pounds away in the corner as the fans tell him he sucks. The champion easily takes the big guy down into a crossface (not the Crippler Crossface but just a face grab), only to have Rikishi power out and send Regal into the corner.

Not that it matters as Regal easily takes over again with a half nelson of all things. Rikishi fights up and sits on Regal’s chest but misses the Banzai Drop. Regal loads up the brass knuckles but Edge comes in for no apparent reason to spear Regal down for the DQ, retaining Regal’s title.

Rating: D. Much like the tag title match, this didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just a way to fill in time until we got to the stuff at the end. Rikishi was reaching the weird point of veteran who commanded respect without ever really doing anything to earn it. Regal was perfect in this role as he waited on a challenger to take the title from him.

Referees break up Regal and Edge but Regal gets a Stinkface.

DDP, the new European Champion, is at WWF New York.

Rock wants to talk about the Undertaker instead of the NWO, but first we pause for some chanting from the fans. Last week on Smackdown Undertaker cost Rock the Undisputed Title so Rock wants Undertaker at No Way Out. Rock isn’t sure why Undertaker jumped him last week, but maybe it’s because Rock mentioned Maven eliminating Undertaker from the Rumble, or maybe because Rock made Coach do the Charleston.

See, Rock is the People’s Champion, but before he gets ready for his tag match, it’s time for some Viva Rock Vegas. Actually no, as Undertaker wants Rock to walk away so Rock does just that. Coach isn’t sure what to do but Rock comes back a second later and takes the mic from him. Time for some singing, but this time it’s just Viva Las Vegas with Las swapped out for Rock. Not exactly funny but the fans liked it.

Here’s Stephanie for her big announcement. If doing more Raw 2002 reviews means Stephanie in short dresses and knee high boots then it’s all Raw 2002 all the time. She immediately asks HHH to come out here but HHH looks cautions. The big idea: renew their wedding vows next week.

HHH: “That is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. What is wrong with the McMahons? Why does everything have to be on live TV?” That’s a REALLY good question actually. Stephanie says it’s because the fans doubt her and think she’s a failure. HHH wisely says no and goes off on her, but Stephanie is PREGNANT, so HHH gives in. You can see the swerve coming from here and the fans in the crowd think this is nonsense. Since this is a Stephanie segment, it took ten minutes to get through about 3 minutes of talking.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Trish is defending. HHH and Stephanie are leaving and HHH insists on carrying all the bags. Trish fires off some kicks to start but misses a top rope cross body to give Jazz control. Jazz shrugs off some shots in the corner and slams Trish down. A legdrop gets two and Jazz fires off more right hands to drop Stratus. Off to a half crab and then an STF but Trish crawls (nearly falling out of her top in the process) to the ropes. Trish makes her comeback with forearms but the Stratusfaction is easily countered into a suplex. A fisherman’s DDT is enough to give Jazz the title, exciting no one at all.

Rating: D. This was a squash for Jazz which is fine, but as I mentioned NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. She was supposed to be some big deal but WWF never realized that no one remembered her from ECW because she never did anything of note in ECW. Nothing match, like the rest of them tonight.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Undertaker/Chris Jericho

Austin is challenging Jericho for the title at the PPV if that wasn’t clear. Some fan tries to jump the railing to go after Jericho, earning his ejection from the building. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with the obvious pairings until Austin takes Jericho into the ring for some chopping. The snap spinebuster gets two on Jericho and a clothesline gets the same. Off to Rock who throws Jericho to the floor before telling Undertaker to just bring it. Jericho slips back in and jumps Rock to give Undertaker control.

Rock comes right back with a clothesline to the big man and it’s back to Austin for right hands. The Thesz Press and middle finger elbow are good for two as the fans are awake for the first time all night. Austin runs the ropes again but charges into a big boot, allowing for the tag to the world champion. They trade chops in the corner but Jericho grabs a sleeper to slow things down a bit. Austin suplexes his way to freedom but Taker gets in a cheap shot and throws Austin to the floor.

Taker chokes on Austin with a rope but Rock makes the save unlike some stupid partners. Back in and Jericho clotheslines Steve down before wrapping his arm around the post. Austin tries to come back but charges into the post, sending him back to the floor. Undertaker rams him into the announce table as JR is talking about Oklahoma on a Saturday night. Austin comes back with a Boston crab on Jericho but Undertaker makes the save and puts on a chinlock. Did no one else notice Austin’s arm being sent into the post TWICE?

Austin fights up and they clothesline each other down, meaning even more laying around. Seriously you’re ten minutes into a tag match and they’re already this tired? The hot tag brings in Rock with DDTs all around and a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter on Jericho. Undertaker makes the save and everything breaks down with Jericho hooking the Walls on Rock. Austin breaks it up with a Stunner but Taker pulls the referee out to the floor. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s still no referee, allowing Taker to blast Rock with a pipe, giving Jericho the pin.

Rating: D+. Again, how could they be that spent to use (VERY sloppy) rest holds in a match that didn’t even run fourteen minutes total? Also, WHERE WAS THE ARM WORK? I can understand that from Biker Taker who was just worthless, but Jericho is better than that and always has been. The match was your usual main event tag with a screwy finish.

Overall Rating: D. When Stephanie McMahon doing her manipulative stuff is the most entertaining part of your show, you’ve got a problem. Angle disappeared after the first fifteen minutes and it seems that his story with HHH has as well. They’ll still have the match at No Way Out, but if you think he’s anything more than a stand-in for Stephanie, you have no idea how WWE works. Dull show here and odds are it’s not getting any better for a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: