Dynamite
Date: June 22, 2022
Location: UW Milwaukee Panther Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross, Excalibur

We’re at the final Dynamite step before Forbidden Door on Sunday, which could be quite the rough night. Bryan Danielson is making an announcement about his future and it might not be the best news. Odds are we get some more matches announced for Sunday as well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Bryan Danielson for the announcement. Tony Schiavone asks about his future but Danielson takes the mic and says he isn’t giving it back. Danielson says this is a great week to be an AEW fan or a professional wrestling fan. This Sunday we have Forbidden Door and then a week later we have Blood and Guts with all of the violence you could want. As for Forbidden Door, Zack Sabre Jr., he wanted to prove he was the best technical wrestler in the world, while Danielson wanted to crush Sabre Jr.’s trachea.

Unfortunately, he isn’t cleared to wrestle at Forbidden Door or Blood and Guts due to what happened at him in Anarchy In The Arena. However, don’t worry about him because he is going to be back. He feels great, he can read 500 words a minute, he can run two miles and not break a sweat and his mind is working at full speed.

As for the near future, he has found the one person to take his place at Forbidden Door and Blood and Guts who can be technical and violent and he will astound you. Who you ask? Well he came out of the bad guy tunnel so he isn’t going to tell you. Tune in on Sunday and you’ll see the greatest technical match of your lives. Sabre Jr. comes out to stare at Danielson but doesn’t say anything.

Jon Moxley is ready for the biggest match of his life on Sunday but he is also ready for the violence next week.

Aussie Open/Will Ospreay vs. Roppongi Vice/Orange Cassidy

Romero can’t get far with Fletcher to start and but he does manage to take him down. Cassidy comes in as everything breaks down, with Romero hitting the forever lariats. Vice and Cassidy do their biceps pose but the triple suicide dives are cut off. Stereo apron bombs have the good guys in trouble as we take a break.

Back with Cassidy hitting the lazy kicks before snapping off a double hurricanrana. A springboard hurricanrana takes Aussie Open down, setting up the triple dives onto Open and Ospreay. Back in Ospreay takes over on Cassidy, who cuts him off with a Stundog Millionaire. Everything breaks down again and it’s the parade of knockdowns until Cassidy hits the Orange Punch to finish Davis at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Cassidy is a very fun guy to watch, but it’s a little hard to get my head around the idea that he is getting to face one of the people who main evented this year’s Wrestle Kingdom. As for Aussie Open, they’re a good example of guys who were added to the mix in recent weeks without much being known about them. They’re the tag team who works with Ospreay and that’s about all I can tell you about them based on how they have been presented, which isn’t a good thing.

Post match the rest of the United Empire comes out for the staredown but FTR (including a Loverboy Dennis Condrey shirt) evens things out to chase the villains off.

Jay Lethal and Satnam Singh want Samoa Joe to vacate the ROH TV Title if he can’t defend it.

Here is Christian Cage for the big explanation. Christian doesn’t think much of Jungle Boy costing him a chance to win the World Title, but then he checked social media and saw what people thought of Jungle Boy. That’s why Christian hitched his wagon to Jungle Boy to try to make a quick buck. He didn’t come here to mentor some new generation but rather to make big money.

Christian offers some free advice: try having a match that people talk about more than two weeks after the fact. Have the match that parents sit their kids down to watch or name a pay per view after. We look at the clip of Christian insulting Jungle Boy’s family last week, which has Christian saying he doesn’t want to be Jungle Boy’s father. Jungle Boy has a father….but he’s dead.

That’s a good thing too, as Jungle Boy’s dad would be sad to see what his son has become. Cue Luchasaurus to choke Christian, who says Luchasaurus is like a son to him. Luchasaurus buys it and they hug, though Luchasaurus might not be entirely convinced. Heck of a promo from Christian here, though I’m not sure on changing things up with Luchasaurus.

We look at Kyle O’Reilly being taken out by Sting and Darby Allin on Rampage.

O’Reilly and the Young Bucks are ready to team up with Hikuleo and El Phantasmo vs. Sting/Allin and cronies.

All Atlantic Title Tournament First Round: Malakai Black vs. Penta Obscuro

Obscuro starts fast and knocks Black outside for a shot tot he face. Back in and Black counters the armbar into a rollup, setting up the Sling Blade for two. Black bails outside where he sends Penta into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Black fighting out of a piledriver on the apron but getting kicked in the head.

They get back inside with Black hitting a jumping knee to the face to send Penta outside, setting up a moonsault. A top rope double stomp gives Black two back inside but Penta catches him with a super Fear Factor. That’s good for a (very) delayed two as Black gets a food on the rope. Penta loads up another Fear Factor but Black escapes and hits Black Mass for the pin at 11:32.

Rating: B-. What else were you expecting here? They hit each other really hard until one of them couldn’t get up anymore. That’s what you should get from a match like this, though I don’t need to see House of Black vs. Death Triangle again for the better part of ever. Good, hard hitting match though, with Black moving on as he should have. I think.

Post match Pac comes in to stare at Black but Miro pops up on screen to promise to redeem all of the pagans and others at Forbidden Door.

Hangman Page vs. Silas Young

Adam Cole is on commentary and this is Young’s AEW debut. Young starts by missing a legsweep but coming back with a few shots. Page knocks him outside and hits the big moonsault as we take a break. Back with both of them getting up until Page knocks him to the floor. A top rope clothesline gives Page two but Young knocks him down again. The springboard moonsault misses in the corner though and Page hits a clothesline. The Buckshot Lariat finishes for Page at 8:43.

Rating: C+. Young can bring it almost every time he’s out there so I’m not surprised to see him do well in his AEW debut. Fans are going to know enough about him to think something of the match but it isn’t like Page beat a hot new star. It was a perfectly fine TV match and I could go for Young getting to do a bit more around here as AEW has far worse options.

Post match Adam Cole says it’s Story Time but Jay White cuts him off. White is looking forward to Forbidden Door, but he won’t be defending against Cole, who lost to Page twice. As for Page….he isn’t getting a title shot either. The fight is on with White getting the better of things, but he turns around to see Cole holding the title. A double team on Page is teased but Kazuchika Okada comes in for the save.

Red Velvet is injured so Stokely Hathaway is looking for a new Baddie.

Kris Statlander and Athena don’t think much of the Baddies because they have Willow Nightingale.

Marina Shafir vs. Toni Storm

Nyla Rose is here with Shafir. They go to the mat to start with Shafir getting the better of things as Storm isn’t quite at that level. Storm gets sent outside where Rose hits a heck of a backsplash as we take a break (with Excalibur being cut off in mid-sentence for about the fourth time tonight). Back with Storm taking it to the floor and hitting a tornado DDT off the steps. Storm sends her into the corner for the running hip attack but Rose offers a distraction. The pumphandle is broken up though and Storm gets a rollup pin at 7:19.

Rating: C. That’s probably Shafir’s best AEW match to date, which isn’t clearing that high of a bar. The best thing that can be said about it is that it felt more natural with Shafir not coming off as so stiff (as in moving better, not hitting hard). Maybe she has shaken off some of the jitters or gotten some pointers, but either way, this was a step up for her and that’s good to see.

Post match Rose jumps Storm and the double teaming is on until Thunder Rosa makes the save.

Darby Allin and Sting are bringing Shingo Takagi and Hiromu Takahashi to even things up at Forbidden Door.

Fenix is ready for Andrade El Idolo on Rampage.

Forbidden Door rundown, with Excalibur tripping over his words.

Lance Archer/Chris Jericho vs. Jon Moxley/Hiroshi Tanahashi

William Regal is on commentary. It’s a brawl to start with Tanahashi taking over on Jericho’s arm. Moxley comes in to take over but a cheap shot takes Moxley down for a change. Jericho catapults Moxley throat first into the bottom rope and it’s back to Archer to keep up the beating.

We take a break and come back with Tanahashi getting the tag to clean house, including the middle rope flipping splash for two on Jericho. Back up and Jericho can’t grab the Walls but manages to knock Tanahashi down and gets the second attempt. Tanahashi breaks that up and hits the Sling Blade with Moxley coming back in to drop Archer. The High Fly Flow gives Tanahashi the pin at 12:00.

Rating: B-. Pretty nice main event style tag match here with the only possible option to take the fall getting pinned. Tanahashi gets some momentum heading into Sunday, though I could have gone without commentary talking about how Moxley needs to defend AEW from New Japan. That’s a very tacked on idea and it isn’t needed for a match like this one.

Post match Eddie Kingston, the Jericho Appreciation Society and a bunch of New Japan guys, including Minoru Suzuki, come out for the brawl. Tanahashi and Moxley stare each other down in the ring as the brawl goes on for more than a few minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m honestly not sure what to say about this show. We’ll start with the good: there were surprises, most of the wrestling was strong and the ending brawl was really energetic. They added some matches to the Forbidden Door card and gave you more of a reason to watch the pay per view. That’s how a go home show is supposed to go and they did that part pretty well.

Now comes the problem: if you don’t like/know a decent amount about New Japan, this was an absolutely nutty show that probably left you a bit confused. The last month or so has been Tony Khan getting to put his fantasy booking show on national TV (“And then THIS GUY show up but THIS GUY is out as a surprise and it’s a new faction between the two companies and they’re fighting for THIS TITLE but wait here’s THIS GUY and it’s a big fight and there’s an INTENSE STAREDOWN and…..”) and if you’re not into it, you have no need to watch the show.

I get what AEW is going for here and it will sell like gangbusters for their core audience, but I’m not exactly sure how other fans are going to care. This has been one heck of a detour into the inner workings of Tony Khan’s mind and unless you’re completely on board with that, this isn’t going to be your time. Sunday is (probably) going to be a lot of fun but it’s quite a lot of time spent setting that show up.

Results
Orange Cassidy/Roppongi Vice b. Aussie Open/Will Ospreay – Orange Punch to Davis
Malakai Black b. Penta Obscuro – Black Mass
Hangman Page b. Silas Young – Buckshot Lariat
Toni Storm b. Marina Shafir – Rollup
Jon Moxley/Hiroshi Tanahashi b. Lance Archer/Chris Jericho – High Fly Flow to Archer

 

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: June 15, 2022
Location: Chaifetz Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Excalibur, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

The road to Forbidden Door continues and as has been the case with AEW in recent weeks, things have gotten a little bit screwy. This time around it is Jeff Hardy getting arrested for driving under the influence, meaning that he will not be around for this week’s Tag Team Title match. Hopefully this doesn’t throw the show into chaos so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Chris Jericho vs. Ortiz

Hair vs. hair, the Jericho Appreciation Society and Eddie Kingston are here, and William Regal is on commentary. Ortiz charges in and knocks Jericho to the floor for some biting of the face. Jericho takes over outside and hammers away inside, only to have Ortiz get in some shots of his own. The suicide dive is broken up though and Jericho hits a suplex off the apron to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ortiz clotheslining his way out of trouble and hitting a quick cutter. Jericho rolls him up and tries the Walls, which is reversed into a rollup for two. Ortiz misses a middle rope corkscrew….something, allowing Jericho to hit the Codebreaker for two more. The Walls go on so Ortiz makes the rope, meaning the fight is on outside. Cue Santana and Wheeler Yuta (JR: “WHERE THE **** HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN???”) to even things up a bit and Ortiz gets inside to knock Jericho silly for two. Ortiz is back up but Fuego del Sol of all people runs in to hit Ortiz in the face with a baseball bat to give Jericho the pin at 11:48.

Rating: C+. You knew the insanity was coming in the end and the Fuego stuff (which is totally not Sammy Guevara) was a surprise because of who did it but not a surprise overall. Jericho having someone to interfere on his behalf is right on point for him and you knew Jericho wasn’t going bald. The question was how we got here, and Ortiz shaving his head might make him stand out a bit more.

Post match Fuego unmasks as Sammy Guevara, because this really is Inner Circle 2.0. Ortiz cuts his own hair and shouts BLOOD AND GUTS.

We get a People’s Court style intro for Wardlow vs. the 20 security guards.

Wardlow vs. Security Guards

There are twenty guards and Wardlow has to beat all of them. The guards get on the apron and Wardlow knocks one apron off, which might count as eliminations. The dog pile doesn’t work and Wardlow powerbombs one guard onto the others. A bunch of powerbombs and chokes wreck more guards and Wardlow eliminates nine guards after about 2:15. More powerbombs leave more guards laying and another guard is pulled out of the air. A big group pin finishes for Wardlow at 4:08.

Rating: C. What do you say about this kind of a match? It was more of a training exercise for Wardlow, who ran through one guard after another like they weren’t even there. It made Wardlow look good and he wrecked everyone involved, so if this is the end of the story, or at least this part of it, we should be fine.

Post match Wardlow goes after Mark Sterling but Dan Lambert, with Scorpio Sky, pops up from a sky box. Lambert sends Matt Hughes and Tyron Woodley (former UFC Champions) into the ring, but Wardlow appeals to their midwestern roots. That’s enough for Hughes and Woodley to send Sterling to Wardlow for the big powerbomb. Posing ensues.

Dax Harwood vs. Will Ospreay

Feeling out process to start with Ospreay taking him into the corner and hitting a chop. Harwood takes him down into a headlock as the fans are split here. Ospreay is back up and kicks Harwood to the apron, with the leg getting caught in the ring skirt. A running dropkick against the steps rocks Harwood and we take a break.

Back with Harwood rolling some German suplexes to knock Ospreay silly. Harwood misses a top rope headbutt though and Ospreay is back with a springboard 450 for two. Ospreay goes up again but Harwood catches him, setting up a belly to back superplex, which is countered into a crossbody. Back up and Harwood counters a hurricanrana into a slingshot powerbomb but Ospreay flips out. A second attempt gives Harwood two, followed by Ospreay hitting a sitout powerbomb of his own. The Oscutter gives Ospreay two more, followed by the Hidden Blade for the pin at 13:45.

Rating: B+. Is there anything Harwood can’t do at this point? He has great tag matches and now gets to hang with a major international star like Ospreay in a heck of a singles match. Ospreay got to showcase himself a bit more this time and it was the kind of match you were expecting from him. A singles star beating a tag team champion is more than acceptable and this was a blast of a match.

Post match the rest of the United Empire comes in for the beatdown with the Best Friends and Cash Wheeler coming in for the save. That doesn’t go so well, but Orange Cassidy comes in for the real save, setting up the Will Ospreay showdown. Well of course that’s what we’re getting.

Video on Jon Moxley vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi, which has been built up for awhile in New Japan.

It’s time for a face to face showdown between Moxley and Tanahashi. Moxley says he has been chasing him for a long time, across Japan to America. They call Tanahashi the Ace, but that won’t be the case for long. Moxley is the best in the world and at Forbidden Door, Tanahashi will call him the Ace.

Cue Chris Jericho, flanked by Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti, to say Moxley is in his spot. Jericho talks about how he beat Tanahashi in the Tokyo Dome, but Tanahashi tells him to shut up. Cue the Jericho Appreciation Society, but El Desperado and Lance Archer jump Moxley and Tanahashi from behind.

Jericho announces Guevara and Conti as the newest members of the Jericho Appreciation Society. Desperado and Archer are here on loan from Suzuki-Gun so at Forbidden Door, it’s Minoru Suzuki/Guevara/Jericho vs. Wheeler Yuta/Shota Umino/Eddie Kingston. Cue Kingston, Ortiz (head shaved) and Yuta for the save. House is cleaned and the good guys stand tall.

Darby Allin wants Bobby Fish on Rampage.

Toni Storm isn’t impressed by Britt Baker and wants the Women’s Title.

All Atlantic Title Qualifying Match: Miro vs. Ethan Page

Page bails to the floor for a chat with Dan Lambert, who wants Page to focus. Back in and Page bails outside again, with the chase allowing Page to get in some shots. Page starts working on the arm but Miro isn’t having that and kicks Page down. Now it’s Miro slapping away at the arm, which sends Page outside and us to a break.

Back with Miro pounding away at the chest but getting sent into the steps to slow him down. A springboard cutter gives Page two but Miro is done with this getting beaten up. After knocking Lambert off the apron, it’s a superkick to Page and Game Over to send Miro to Forbidden Door at 9:31.

Rating: C+. Nicely done stuff here with Miro getting the win that he should have gotten but without beating the stuffing out of Page. The more I see of Page, the more I like him as there is definitely a lot of talent there, especially when he gets to be more serious. Miro winning here was the only way to go though and he did it in enough of a dominant fashion.

Dante Martin is ready for Jon Moxley on Rampage.

Britt Baker vs. Toni Storm

Rebel and Jamie Hayter are here too. Storm knocks her to the floor to start but Baker is back with a forearm of her own. A posting cuts Storm down and Hayter gets in a cheap shot but here is Thunder Rosa to chase Hayter off. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a tornado DDT to send Baker outside, where another tornado DDT plants Baker on the floor.

The running hip attack crushes Baker in the corner and she seems a bit rocked. A forearm has Baker crumbled on the mat….but Baker is goldbricking and rolls Storm up for two. Lockjaw is loaded up but Storm German suplexes her down. Storm Zero finishes Baker at 7:31 to give Storm the big win.

Rating: C+. That was some pretty nice goldbricking from Baker and I liked seeing Storm FINALLY get a big win. I have no reason to believe this is going anywhere, but it is nice to see her get something. Baker losing still feels like a big deal and I’m happy with seeing her take a bit of a step back after dominating the division for so long.

Post match Thunder Rosa comes back for the staredown with Storm, making me wonder why Baker needed to win the Owen Hart tournament if this is where they’re going.

Stokely Hathaway announces that Jade Cargill is issuing an open challenge for Rampage. Willow Nightingale comes in to accept, though Hathaway isn’t sure who she is. I could go for more Nightingale.

Here is Hangman Page for a chat. Page challenged Kazuchika Okada for Forbidden Door, but then Okada lost the IWGP World Title over the weekend. He still wants the match though….but here is Adam Cole to interrupt. Cole says if anyone is challenging for the title at Forbidden Door it is him, so Cole brings out the new champion, Jay White.

This means White can come in from behind to Blade Runner Page and shout about how he has beaten Page twice before. That’s why Page isn’t getting a title shot at Forbidden Door….but it won’t be against Cole either. White has the title so he holds the power, meaning he can pick his challenge. Cole isn’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Jurassic Express vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are challenging in a ladder match. It’s a brawl to start with Nick loading up a ladder but getting taken back down with a springboard hurricanrana. Matt catches Jungle Boy on the ladder but Luchasaurus is back with a double choke. That’s broken up with some kicks to the head so the ladder is loaded up in the corner. Jungle Boy is back to clean house but gets caught in the rolling northern lights suplexes, including one into the ladder.

A running hurricanrana off the apron sends Matt through a table but Nick powerbombs Jungle Boy through another table. Nick isn’t done and hits a springboard Canadian Destroyer on Luchasaurus, followed by the 450 to put Luchasaurus through another table. With the regular Nick Jackson Does A Bunch Of Stuff sequence done, we take a break and come back with Luchasaurus hitting a moonsault off the apron to take both Bucks down. Everyone winds up on a pair of (uneven) ladders with Luchasaurus being the last man standing.

That doesn’t last long as Matt makes a save and hits a top rope elbow to drive him through a table. Jungle Boy catches Matt with a German suplex and goes up with Nick for another slugout. The Bucks take him off the ladder and Nick is busted (might have broken his nose), leaving Luchasaurus to go up. That means one heck of a crash through four tables (ala Bubba Ray Dudley/Matt Hardy at Wrestlemania X7. The BTE Trigger drops Jungle Boy and the Bucks get the titles back at 14:55.

Rating: B. What is there to say here? It’s a ladder match with a bunch of flips and dives and broken stuff, which is about all you can expect from this kind of a match. That isn’t a bad thing, but it also isn’t the kind of match that is going to blow the door off the place most of the time. The Bucks getting the titles back is a bit surprising, as they are the first ever two time champions, but they are still one of the top teams in the company. Jurassic Express had a good reign, though I don’t know if they ever came close to feeling like the top team around and that held them back.

Post match Jungle Boy has to be helped up because of his knee….and Christian Cage turns on him with the Killswitch. The Conchairto leaves Jungle Boy laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. They covered a lot this week with all kinds of stuff being set up for Forbidden Door as well as having a pair of impressive matches this week. What matters is that they have started getting us ready for the pay per view, which they kind of need to do since it is in less than two weeks. Heck of a show here as it felt like a classic Dynamite, which has been lacking lately.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Ortiz – Baseball bat to the face
Wardlow b. Security Guards – Group pin
Will Ospreay b. Dax Harwood – Hidden Blade
Miro b. Ethan Page – Game Over
Toni Storm b. Britt Baker – Storm Zero
Young Bucks b. Jurassic Express – Bucks pulled down the titles

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2007
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Armageddon and the Raw main event seems to be Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and odds are that is going to get the majority of the attention this week. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going. Jericho is back and wants a title match, which is why he cost Randy Orton a match against Ric Flair last week. Then after last week, Jericho felt a tingle in his pants because of this. We see a clip of Orton agreeing to the title match after Raw last week and Jericho is rather happy.

Cue Orton, who lists off all of his recent victims but Jericho says that just like beating Rock and Austin in one night, that means nothing right now. Violence is teased but here is William Regal to say the two of them can pick the other’s opponents tonight. Orton picks Umaga to face Jericho while Jericho makes Orton vs. Shawn Michaels.

Maria/Mickie James vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Maria takes Melina down for an early two but Melina is back up with some shots to the face. Beth comes in to power her into the corner but stops to bring in Mickie. They slugout is on until Beth pulls her off of the top for the crash. With Maria knocked down, it’s a fisherman’s buster to finish Mickie, making me wonder what the point was to this one.

Shawn Michaels says tonight, the WWE Title isn’t on the line, but Sweet Chin Music is all legal. Mr. Kennedy pops up on a monitor to tell Shawn to be ready for their match at Armageddon. He promises a blast from the past that could break Shawn’s heart.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He wants to get to know Shawn a bit more so he has invited some of Shawn’s friends and rivals. We’ll start with someone Shawn won’t share the spotlight with: Marty Jannetty (that’s not Marty Jannetty), Razor Ramon (that’s not Razor Ramon, though he does get in a Hey Yo) and Diesel (that’s not Diesel). We need the man himself though, but that’s not Shawn Michaels. They get to describe Shawn, including words like egotistical, chump and traitor. Kennedy threatens the fake Shawn but gets cut off by the real thing. House is cleaned with Kennedy leaving for the staredown from the floor.

Next week: Raw’s 15th Anniversary.

Vince McMahon, with Coach, is on the phone in his office and announces that Hulk Hogan will be here next week. Other names include Trish Stratus, Mick Foley, Eric Bischoff (Vince: “ERIC BISCHOFF???) and Hulk Hogan but here is Hornswoggle to interrupt. Vince has him sit down because he has something special for next week: the official McMahon Family Portrait. As for tonight, Vince isn’t happy with Hornswoggle surviving his tough love attempts, but since Finlay isn’t here tonight, we’ll see how the Luck of the Irish does against Coach/Carlito. The bosses leave and Hornswoggle pulls out a phone.

We look back at HHH and Jeff Hardy working together last week before being told they will be facing off at Armageddon.

William Regal comes in to see HHH and talks about the logic behind the match with Hardy. Speaking of that match, we’ll sweeten the pot a bit by making it for the WWE Title shot at the Royal Rumble. Since that title means so much to HHH, maybe he’ll use that anger on Hardy. HHH says he doesn’t hate Hardy, but he would Pedigree his mother, grandmother or father in law to be WWE Champion again.

Umaga vs. Chris Jericho

We actually join this in progress with Jericho in control on the floor and taking him back inside for some elbows to the head. Umaga sends him outside though and it’s a splash for two back inside. The nerve hold goes on for a bit, followed by a superkick to send Jericho into the corner. The running hip attack misses though and Jericho manages a knockdown of his own. Jericho’s running dropkick into the Lionsault gets two and the Codebreaker (now named) connects but Randy Orton runs in to jump Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two can work well together but my goodness Umaga has fallen a long way. There is only so much you can do with a monster who keeps losing over and over. He didn’t even take a pin here, but rather than being something that mattered, he was just there to make Jericho look good. It happens to most monsters though, and that is the case again here.

Post match Orton lays Jericho out with the RKO.

Hornswoggle vs. Carlito/Jonathan Coachman

No DQ and hold on though as Hornswoggle has hired protection for this match. Cue the APA to wreck Carlito and Coach, setting up the Tadpole splash to finish Coach fast.

Post match Bradshaw says they’re open for hire and plugs Smackdown, with Simmons adding the catchphrase.

Snitsky wants the Intercontinental Title and to hurt Jeff Hardy in the process.

Intercontinental Title: Snitsky vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. Snitsky knocks him down fast and drops an elbow before choking away in the corner. We hit a double underhook crank to keep Hardy down but he avoids the running legdrop. A quick Twist of Fate into the Swanton retains the title.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but were you expecting anything else from Snitsky getting a title shot? That is the kind of thing you see happen when someone no shows a house show. Hardy getting a win is a good thing as his rise up the card continues, and you know that he is coming for the main event scene a lot sooner rather than later.

Post match Snitsky kicks him in the face but HHH comes in with the sledgehammer for the save. HHH teases hitting Hardy but helps him up instead.

Smackdown Rebound.

Armageddon rundown.

Jillian Hall comes in to sing for Vince McMahon, who isn’t impressed. William Regal comes in to tell him that Stephanie McMahon is on her way.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. The chase is on to start with Shawn catching him in inside and starting the stomping. The headlock slows Orton down but he’s back up with an elbow to the face. Back up and Michaels grabs an ankle lock of all things to put Orton in trouble. Orton rolls out to the floor for a breather and we take a break.

Back with Shawn clotheslining him out to the floor but missing a superkick, which hits the timekeeper by mistake (Shawn has a bad record with that). Back in and Orton stomps away and we hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors. Shawn fights up and hits a slam into the top rope elbow but has to dive onto an invading Kennedy. They fight into the crowd and Shawn is counted out (because a DQ isn’t an option for some reason).

Rating: C+. This is another match that is going to work almost no matter what because they have some good chemistry together. They weren’t going to have either of them take a fall here as they both have big matches coming up at Armageddon, so this was a matter of waiting on either Kennedy or Chris Jericho interfering. Granted it was a nice match on the way there, but it was waiting.

Post match Kennedy and Shawn brawl into the crowd as Chris Jericho runs in to jump Orton.

Stephanie McMahon comes in to see her dad and points out that he has invited a bunch of people who hate him for next week. She doesn’t want to see him get beaten up again so please don’t put yourself in that place. Vince: “I LOVE CONFRONTATION!” He also promises to name the greatest Raw star of all time.

Overall Rating: C+. They are making me more interested in the pay per view than just about anything else they have done on Raw in the last little while so something is going right. I’m not sure how long that is going to last but at least we are getting some nice television on the way there. Just find a way to keep it going and WWE could be going somewhere.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2007
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the holiday week and the big story coming out of last week is the return of Chris Jericho. You can see the Raw main event of next month’s pay per view from here but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Jericho is an instant main eventer and someone to give Orton a challenge, though he might have some rust to shake off first. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jericho’s return last week and his challenge to Orton for a Raw World Title shot.

Opening sequence.

HHH/Jeff Hardy vs. Snitsky/Umaga

Hardy and Snitsky start things off with Hardy being sent straight into the corner for the tag off to HHH. Some shoulders to the ribs slow HHH down but he avoids a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. That lets HHH start in on the arm before both villains are sent to the floor. Hardy dives onto the two of them but gets caught, meaning HHH has to knock the three of them down as we take a break.

Back with Umaga hitting Hardy with the swinging Rock Bottom and Snitsky coming in to crank on both of Hardy’s arms. An elbow to the face drops Hardy and Umaga adds a spinwheel kick for two. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Hardy flips out of Snitsky’s pumphandle slam. A dropkick into the back allows the hot tag to HHH so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Snitsky is sent out to the floor. HHH clotheslines him out over the barricade and Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind on Umaga. The Pedigree into the Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much drama here and that isn’t the biggest surprise. Hardy is on a roll and HHH is HHH so they shouldn’t be having trouble with Snitsky and a rapidly decreasing Umaga. Hardy seems ready to move up to the next level and being around HHH, in one way or another, is a good way to do that.

Post match here is William Regal to say he wants to see both of them fighting at Armageddon, and they’ll just do that against each other (with the clarification that it will be non-title).

Ric Flair arrives and Lawler thinks he might have a special announcement.

Here is Flair for a chat. Flair seems serious and that he has an announcement to make. The fans here have always been so good to him, as has every city he has ever competed in, the world over. He has been gone for six months because everyone knows that his career can’t go on forever. That’s why he has gotten involved in a lot of other things, but there will be a time when he has to retire. Right now though, he is announcing…..THAT HE WILL NEVER RETIRE! He loves this business and is going nowhere but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

Vince said Flair had him going and hopes that Flair goes on forever….as long as he keeps winning. That’s exactly what he said: Flair can keep wrestling as long as he keeps winning, but once he loses, his career is over. Vince: “Good luck Ric, and I hope you don’t die anytime soon.” Vince goes to leave but here is Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton thanks Flair for everything over the years, both in and out of the ring. He also thanks Flair for the pleasure of ending his career tonight, so Vince makes the match for tonight.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Highlanders vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly/Super Crazy/Jim Duggan

Robbie works on Crazy’s wrist to start but Crazy pulls him over to Duggan to take over. The arm cranking ensues until Cody gets elbowed in the face. Cade comes in to knee him in the ribs and it’s off to Murdoch to work on the arm. That’s broken up and Cody sends Murdoch arm first into the post, allowing the hot tag to Holly. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam finishes Robbie as Duggan, again, never tagged in.

Rating: C-. As usual, there is only so much you can do with a match like this as they had a lot of people and not much time to use. Holly and Rhodes working well together is somewhat interesting and it isn’t like there are any other teams around to get in the way of their title shot. Duggan never actually tagging in is kind of a funny deal for him, as it isn’t like his team is going to go anywhere anyway.

Jeff Hardy has had fun teaming with HHH but he hesitates to call them friends. HHH comes in to say he doesn’t do the friends thing and at Armageddon, Jeff is in the ring with the Game.

We look back at Shawn Michaels superkicking a chair into Mr. Kennedy’s face last week.

Mr. Kennedy has a copy of the new Shawn Michaels Heartbreak and Triumph DVD but doesn’t sound overly impressed. He talks about Shawn losing matches but also his smile, which is a good lesson. Shawn also whines a lot as he keeps his main event spot in spite of a bunch of young, hungry wrestlers. There are some highs and lows, but Shawn’s lowest point will come when he faces Kennedy.

Ric Flair is in the back with Arn Anderson and Barry Windham for the surprise cameos.

Here is Chris Jericho, who is here to save us from Randy Orton and become WWE Champion. Everyone but Orton gets this and that is because Orton has the IQ of a kumquat. Jericho makes it simple by saying “me want title match.” He even has visual aides with a photo of himself (Me), Cookie Monster (Want), the WWE Title (Title), and a match (Match).

Jericho wants an answer but gets Santino Marella instead. Marella calls him KYJ but Jericho can’t get his name right either (Sandusky? Santana? Santa Maria?). Finally Santino snaps and shouts his name, with Jericho managing to get it. Santino says he’s ready to beat Jericho up so Jericho wants a referee out here right now. Hold on as Santino needs to warm up, meaning he decks Jerry Lawler and we take a break.

Santino Marella vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho kicks him into the corner and chokes a bit to start, setting up a suplex. The triangle dropkick puts Marella on the floor but he’s back in with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on but Jericho is right back up. An atomic drop and bulldog set up the debuting Codebreaker for the pin to finish Santino.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here other than “hey Jericho wrestles too”. Oh and that new finisher thing but I can’t imagine it goes anywhere. Jericho still looks weird with the hair but the charisma that he has is more than enough to make up for anything that is off with his look. Marella continues to become one of the most annoying things in WWE and that is a good thing to have around.

Post match Jericho has Lawler come in the ring to beat on Santino a bit. Jericho jumps on commentary as Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the feel good beating.

Shawn Michaels wishes Ric Flair good luck and gives him a pep talk. Flair promises to go out in a blaze of glory, which has Shawn thinking.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick

Kennedy shoves him around to start and shrugs off a dropkick. Some stomping in the corner sets up a Downward Spiral to put Kendrick away fast.

Post match Kennedy challenges Shawn Michaels for Armageddon.

Smackdown Rebound.

Hornswoggle is in Vince McMahon’s office, with Vince going over Hornswoggle’s recent luck. Finlay has been around a lot in those moments though, and that’s why Vince is giving Finlay a match with Great Khali at Armageddon. As for Hornswoggle, Vince sends him to get an ice cream sandwich. With Hornswoggle gone, Vince grabs a walkie talkie and says “Mr. Rogers Has Left The Neighborhood. Repeat: Mr. Rogers Has Left The Neighborhood.”

We cut to Hornswoggle with a box of ice cream sandwiches, but then he sees a sign for FREE ICE CREAM SANDWICHES. He goes into the room, where Carlito is waiting. Hornswoggle is scared, but pulls out some spray paint and paints a hole in the wall. He runs through said hole, and disappears. Then Carlito tries to do it and hits his face on the wall. Ron Simmons cameoing ensues. Eh Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner did it better. The breaking the laws of….I guess matter, not the cameoing.

Mickie James vs. Melina

The winner gets a Women’s Title shot at the pay per view so Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Feeling out process to start until Melina kicks her in the face for an early one. Mickie takes her into the corner and tosses her back out though, setting up the Thesz press for two. A hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the MickieDT to finish Melina fast.

The roster applauds Ric Flair on his way to the ring. HHH shakes his hand and hugs him, telling Flair to show them who he is.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and Flair’s career is on the line. Flair chops away to start and drops Orton with an elbow to the face. Back up and Orton punches his way out of the corner, setting up the backdrop to put Flair down again. That means the circle stomp is on but Orton misses the big knee. He settles for a dropkick to take Flair down again though and we hit the chinlock.

Flair fights up and gets clotheslined to the floor, where Orton suplexes him for a bonus. The headlock goes on back inside but Flair is out again, this time starting in on the leg. The Figure Four is locked in the middle of the ring (the fans are WAY into this) but Orton makes the rope. Orton hits the RKO for two, with Flair grabbing the rope as well. A bunch of right hands to the head have Flair in more trouble but here is Chris Jericho to distract the referee. Flair uses said distraction to get in a low blow and rollup (with trunks) for the upset pin.

Rating: C+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t anything of note on its own but was boosted up by the crowd’s reactions. The fans were into everything that Flair was doing and that is enough to move things up all the higher. The ending gives Orton some protection and should further set up the already set Jericho title match so at least they got somewhere with the result.

Overall Rating: C-. Forgive me for not being thrilled with a show that featured all kinds of Flair praise and Hornswoggle running through a hole in the wall. The rest of the show was pretty lame as well, as Raw continues to trail pretty far behind Smackdown week to week. Jericho vs. Orton should be good, but this show has me worried about how the top stories for this show are going to go in the next few weeks.

 

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: May 25, 2022
Location: Michelob Ultra Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Excalibur, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

It’s Double Or Nothing weekend and that means it is time to get in the last Dynamite before the pay per view. Therefore, we nee to find out who will be in the finals of the Men’s Owen Hart Foundation tournament, which should make for some interesting action both tonight and on Sunday. It’s also the third anniversary of the first AEW show so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Wardlow vs. Shawn Spears

In a cage with MJF as the referee and Wardlow has to win here to get MJF on Sunday. Wardlow is still handcuffed to start so Spears gets in a few shots, allowing MJF to stomp away in the corner. The double teaming is on, including sending Wardlow into the steps. MJF stops to talk too much trash though and gets hit in the face, which means Wardlow can drop Spears.

The Swanton connects but MJF won’t count, allowing Spears to get up. One heck of a chair shot hits MJF by mistake and Spears knows what he’s done. Wardlow pops up and it’s a four movement Powerbomb Symphony with another referee coming in to count the pin on the done Spears at 6:58.

Rating: C. This was more of an angle than a match and they did it very well. The last few weeks have done a great job of having Wardlow slowly reel MJF in and the big massacre can take place on Sunday. At this point, they can have MJF get in some cheap shots and cheat to take over, but then it is time for the Powerbomb Symphony that everyone has been waiting on.

Post match Wardlow goes for MJF but security runs in so MJF can escape.

JR and commentary offers condolences on the Texas shooters and say this has to stop.

The Jericho Appreciation Society attack a backstage worker with a fireball for wearing a Jon Moxley shirt.

Tony Schiavone brings CM Punk and Hangman Page for a face to face meeting. Tony goes over the stealing finishers and Punk says he’s ready to take the title. Page says there is nothing Punk can do to take the title from him. That makes Punk think Page is taking this personally. There are a lot of people backstage who want their shot and for Punk, this is just business.

Page wants to light a pipe bomb and roll it right up to Punk’s feet, where the Pipe Bomb promo was dropped in the first place. After pausing for the CM PUNK chants, Page says he can’t do it because he respects Page. The thing is Page doesn’t think Punk knows what it means to be a champion, because it is about more than being in this ring.

It’s also about what you do when no one else is watching, which isn’t what Punk has been about since he got here. On Sunday, Page is defending AEW from Punk, which gets a big reaction. Punk says Page is going to have to do something about it, because Punk paved the road here. Page built the house with trees that Punk chopped down and he gave Punk the blueprint. Page will shake his hand on Sunday, and he’ll do it right now too. It’s a right hand instead and that looked like it made some nice contact.

Video on Anna Jay vs. Jade Cargill for the TBS Title.

Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley vs. Private Party

William Regal and Chris Jericho are on commentary, with Jericho demanding that the crowd be quiet because they don’t have the rights to sing his song. It’s a brawl to start with Quen hitting a moonsault press for two on Moxley. Kingston comes in and beats on Quen but does stop to yell at Moxley. Said Moxley comes back in to plant Kassidy and we take a break

Back with Private Party taking over and knocking Moxley and Kingston to the floor. Quen’s shooting star press gets two on Moxley, who pops up and starts hammering away. The hammer and anvil elbows crush Quen as Kingston makes Kassidy tap to the eastern stretch. The Paradigm Shift finishes Quen at 7:25.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why Private Party, who has done nothing in weeks, was getting in this much offense on Kingston and Moxley but at least the ending had the two stars look dominant. Not quite as squashish as it should have been but they got the finish right. Kingston needs to switch back to his regular gear though, as the basketball shorts look wasn’t working so well.

Post match the Jericho Appreciation Society rushes the ring but referees break it up.

Video on Owen Hart, with wrestlers talking about what the tournaments would have meant to him. The people still involved in the tournament are ready to win.

Ring Of Honor Tag Team Title Roppongi Vice vs. FTR

FTR is defending and Caprice Coleman is on commentary. Romero shoulders Wheeler down a few times to start and the threat of a cross armbreaker sends Wheeler over to the ropes. Back in and Dax gets chopped by Trent, only to reverse him to show the proper technique. Wheeler comes back in and gets half and half suplexes for two as we take a break.

We come back with Wheeler diving over for the tag off to Harwood to punch away. Some rolling German suplexes get two on Trent with Romero making the save. Double knees drop Harwood again but Strong Zero is broken up. A small package and victory roll give Trent two each but Vice is right back with Strong Zero for two with Wheeler finally making the save…..and New Japan’s Jeff Cobb and Great O’Khan running in for the double DQ at 10:21.

Rating: C+. This was turning into a heck of a match until the Forbidden Door ending took it away. Vice isn’t one of my favorite teams but they were hanging in there with the best team in the world. I do like that FTR survived Strong Zero before the interference, which keeps the champs looking a bit stronger. Run this back in the future perhaps.

House is cleaned, though O’Khan’s running cutter doesn’t exactly connect clean. Both teams are laid out and Trent/Wheeler are sent through tables. Cobb and O’Khan hold up the titles.

The Hardys talk about how they have a lot of similarities to the Young Bucks. They came from religious families and didn’t drink of smoke. That’s what the stories end though because the Hardys fought up to become one of the most revolutionary tag teams ever. The Bucks are talented, but they are seen as Hardy cosplayers. Now they’re approaching GOAT status, with Jeff making goat noises. They’re beyond their prime but they’ll still never be better than the Hardys. The Bucks weren’t even better babies than them! The saying is never meet your heroes, but in this case, the Bucks will never beat their heroes.

Ricky Starks vs. Swerve Strickland vs. Jungle Boy

Non-title. Starks bails to the floor to start but runs back in for the early exchange of rollups. With Starks being sent outside, Jungle Boy gets tripped to the floor with Swerve joining them. Starks takes them both down and we go to a break. Back with Jungle Boy hitting a running hurricanrana off the apron for two back inside, with Starks making the save. Swerve clears Starks out and sends Jungle Boy into the corner.

They go up top with Swerve being poisonranaed off….and landing on his feet, much to Jungle Boy’s shock. Starks kicks Swerve in the face and takes Jungle Boy down for two, with the kickout leaving him shocked. Roshambo to Swerve is blocked so Starks goes to the eyes and hits the Roshambo, only to get Snare Trapped. A long crawl gets Starks to the ropes so Jungle Boy pulls him back to the middle and puts it on again. Swerve breaks that up and hits the Swerve Stomp to finish Starks at 9:38.

Rating: B. This was the kind of action packed match that you should have expected from these three and I can always go with Swerve winning. What matters here is they gave you a reason to believe that we might see new champions while also giving us a good match this time. The triple threat match on Sunday should be good and the preview has me more invested in it than I was coming in.

Post match Powerhouse Hobbs comes in for the beatdown on Swerve but here is Luchasaurus, who can’t overpower Hobbs. This brings out Keith Lee so the brawl can be on, with Lee clearing the ring and hitting a slingshot corkscrew dive, which he can just do.

Dan Lambert laughs off Tay Conti and Sammy Guevara breaking up the TNT Title. Since American Top Team has won every belt there is, he has the belt makers on standby, so the new title will be unveiled on Friday. Lambert is relieved because it means Conti and Guevara can’t do anything with it.

Here is Thunder Rosa for a chat and for once she doesn’t have face paint on. This is the real her and she wanted people to see what a champion looked like. That’s what Serena Deeb will never look like, even though Rosa used to look up to her. On Sunday, the war paint is coming on and Rosa will make Deeb pay for the disrespect. Then theme music plays her off, even after a pretty good speech with the serious stuff working well.

Red Velvet mentions Ruby Soho, who happens to be walking by. Velvet hands her a notebook to know how to take out Kris Statlander, who might be banged up but Soho is ready without it.

Women’s Owen Hart Foundation Semifinals: Britt Baker vs. Toni Storm

The fans are split as it’s an exchange of wristlocks to start. Storm gets a headscissors on the mat but Baker switches into a neck crank, sending Storm to the ropes. A basement dropkick sends Storm outside, where she posts Baker hard. They head outside with Storm posting Baker, who sends her into the steps as we take a break. Back with Storm hitting a middle ropes DDT and a running hip attack.

Storm Zero is countered into an Air Raid Crash for two, which draws out Jamie Hater. Baker doesn’t want that so Storm grabs a rollup into a release German suplex to send Baker outside. A tornado DDT off the apron plants Baker on the floor as Storm’s nose might be broken. Hayter is knocked off the apron, leaving Baker to have to break up Storm Zero again. This time it’s a rollup with Baker…kind of grazing the rope as there is no Hayter to grab her hands, for the pin at 9:22.

Rating: C+. The ending hurt this one a bit, though the likely match of Soho vs. Baker should be a good final. Baker is still one of the bigger names in the division and a win over her still means something, so go with what works and set up something big. At the same time, dang I could go for Storm winning something, just for the sake of giving her a small something more important to do.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Men’s Owen Hart Foundation Semifinals: Samoa Joe vs. Kyle O’Reilly

Non-title and Joe pounds away against the ropes to start. Joe chops him down and then beats on O’Reilly again for daring to try a comeback. O’Reilly manages to knock him down and starts in on the arm, which was banged up by Jay Lethal and Satnam Singh. The cross armbreaker can’t quite go on as we take a break.

Back with Joe slugging O’Reilly down and hitting a backsplash, setting up some kicks to the face. A hard clothesline gives Joe two but the MuscleBuster is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Joe makes the rope and strikes away to rock O’Reilly but the Rock Bottom out of the corner is broken up. That doesn’t matter for Joe, who pulls him into the Koquina Clutch to knock O’Reilly out at 12:38.

Rating: B. This is what you were probably expecting when you heard Samoa Joe vs. Kyle O’Reilly being added to the card. Joe knows how to do this submission/striking match as well as anyone and O’Reilly is either right there with him or slightly better at the moment. Joe might not be what he used to be, but he can do this match with anyone.

Adam Cole comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a good bit as it made me more interested in Double Or Nothing. There wasn’t anything on here that was great, but it worked well as a show that made me want to see their followup on Sunday. That is a hard trick to pull off but more importantly, it gave us the best AEW show in a few weeks, meaning some issues went away. This is the show they needed and they delivered.

Results
Wardlow b. Shawn Spears – Powerbomb Symphony
Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley b. Private Party – Paradigm Shift to Quen
FTR vs. Roppongi Vice went to a double DQ when Great O’Khan and Jeff Cobb interfered
Swerve Strickland b. Jungle Boy and Ricky Starks – Swerve Stomp to Starks
Britt Baker b. Toni Storm – Rollup with a grab of the ropes
Samoa Joe b. Kyle O’Reilly – Koquina Clutch

 

 

 

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Rampage
Date: May 20, 2022
Location: Fertitta Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Taz, Excalibur, Chris Jericho, Ricky Starks

We are less than two weeks away from Double Or Nothing and now it is time for the card to really get hammered home. This time around, that only includes one Owen Hart Tournament match, which seems like a drop compared to recent weeks. The Blackpool Combat Club is here though so let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

House Of Black vs. Dark Order/Fuego del Sol

Black has no time for Evil Uno to start so it’s off to Fuego, who gets taken down into a kneebar. Matthews comes in and stomps away but Fuego gets over to Uno to pick up the pace. Black tags himself back in though and the House cleans itself as we take a break. Back with 10 cleaning house but he can’t get the full nelson. Everything breaks down and Uno gets to kick King in the face over and over but a kick to the face sets up the Ganso Bomb for the pin at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is a good example of what has been wrong with the House of Black: there is no reason for it to take nearly ten minutes for the full strength team to beat these three. Fuego is the definition of a loser and the Dark Order are a low level team. Why is it taking that long to complete what should have been a four minute squash? Make them look dominant, not like they have to rally to win.

Post match Death Triangle comes out and unveils a House Of Black tombstone with DOUBLE OR NOTHING included. Thank goodness. Have the match already so we can move on to anything else.

Anthony Bowens has been injured and the Gunn Club promises a reunion when he’s healthy again.

FTR is down for a Ring Of Honor Title match against Roppongi Vice. Oh and they want the IWGP Tag Team Titles too.

Shawn Spears vs. Big Damo

That would be Killian Dain, formerly of NXT fame. Damo takes him down to start and hammers away inside, only to miss the Vader Bomb. A running knee and the C4 (Spears: “WARDLOW!”) finishes Damo at 1:38. That was a bit unexpected.

The Undisputed Elite teases a Fingerpoke of Doom once they get to the Owen Hart finals. Or they could do it seriously, which works for both of them. The Young Bucks also want the Hardys at Double Or Nothing.

Owen Hart Foundation Tournament First Round: Red Velvet vs. Kris Statlander

Ruby Soho is on commentary and doesn’t seem to like Jericho. Statlander starts fast with a one armed gorilla press (because of course she can do that) but misses a charge, allowing Velvet to tie her up in the rink skirt. We take a break and come back with Statlander taking her down but getting caught with the Final Slice for two. Statlander’s Blue Thunder Bomb gets the same and a wheelbarrow faceplant gives Velvet two more. Back up and Statlander clotheslines her down but can’t hit the Big Bang Theory. Instead Velvet counters into a rollup, which is countered into a rollup to give Statlander the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C. Little surprised by the ending there and that is a nice feeling. Statlander going forward is more interesting than one of Cargill’s minions, even if Soho vs. Baker seems like a more likely final. I’m glad to see Statlander getting to move up the ladder a bit, as she hasn’t had much going on in recent months.

Post match the Baddie Section comes in for the beatdown and Ruby Soho’s save fails. Anna Jay comes in and grabs Mark Sterling’s crutch for the real save.

Mark Sterling, Tony Nese and Hookhausen are all training for Double Or Nothing. Danhausen is cranking on those one pound weights.

Here are the Men of the Year for a chat. They mock the end of the Inner Circle (Jericho: “That’s a low blow.”) and Scorpio Sky wants the TNT Title back from Sammy Guevara. We cut to Guevara, who breaks the title with a sledgehammer. Frankie Kazarian pops up to take over, leaving Sammy to kiss Tay Conti. Kazarian promises more violence. AEW has a roster deeper than anyone could ask for these days and these two are STILL FIGHTING???

Britt Baker mocks Toni Storm’s record in big matches. Storm threatens to knock her teeth out.

Dante Martin and Matt Sydal like the idea of peace, love and pro wrestling. The Blackpool Combat Club doesn’t agree.

Here’s what is coming on various shows.

Jade Cargill is ready for Anna Jay at Double Or Nothing.

Blackpool Combat Club vs. Dante Martin/Matt Sydal

William Regal is on commentary. The Club jumps them to start and it’s Moxley getting two off a suplex to Martin. Danielson comes in for some forearms to the head as Regal sings the praises of cauliflower faces. Martin avoids a charge to send Moxley into the post and it’s off to Sydal to pick up the pace.

We take a break and come back with Martin cleaning house but missing the Nose Dive. Danielson catches him on top with the butterfly superplex, setting up the LeBell Lock. The rope is reached so Danielson starts kicking away at the ribs, but what looks to be a Hart Attack is broken up. Everything breaks down and Sydal hits a Meteora to Danielson on the apron. Danielson is up in time to save Moxley from the Nose Dive, leaving Moxley to hit a piledriver. That’s good for two, so Danielson and Moxley come in for the hard elbows. The Paradigm Shift finishes Martin at 12:05.

Rating: C+. This was a little too similar to the opener, in that the established team, especially two main eventers like Danielson and Moxley, shouldn’t be needing twelve minutes to put away Martin and Sydal. It shouldn’t have been a squash, but this was a bit lengthy for something that should have been done more quickly.

Post match, the Jericho Appreciation Society runs in to go after the Combat Club. Santana and Ortiz runs in for the big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this one all that much as it didn’t feel like a very important show. The wrestling was perfectly fine and it didn’t have a bad match, but there was nothing on here that I’m going to remember in a few hours. As has always been the case though: it’s an hour long, and that is WAY too short to have me begging for it to end. Even a weaker Rampage is still fine TV and that’s what we had this week.

Results
House of Black b. Fuego del Sol/Dark Order – Ganso Bomb to Uno
Shawn Spears b. Big Damo – C4
Kris Statlander b. Red Velvet – Rollup
Blackpool Combat Club b. Dante Martin/Matt Sydal – Paradigm Shift to Martin

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: May 4, 2022
Location: Chesapeake Employers Insurance Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Excalibur, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

I’m not sure how but we’re less than a month away from Double Or Nothing. Last week’s show saw the announcement that CM Punk would be challenging Hangman Page for the World Title at the pay per view so at least they have the top match set up pretty far in advance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Owen Hart Foundation Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Fish

Adam Cole is on commentary and Matt Hardy and Kyle O’Reilly are at ringside. Fish takes him into the corner to start and kicks away at the leg, setting up a dragon screw legwhip onto the other leg. They head outside with another dragon screw legwhip sending Hardy into the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Hardy making a comeback and dropping Fish to go up top. The Swanton is broken up though and it’s the super Falcon Arrow to put Hardy down for two. Fish grabs the kneebar but Hardy gets over for the rope. Hardy puts him down again and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the pin at 10:15.

Rating: C. That’s about as high as I can go, as the match was technically fine, but they were both looking old and slow here. Granted that might be because they’re both old and slow, though I can always go for someone taking out a knee. Fish banging up Hardy’s knee was a good way to explain the slower pace, but it’s getting harder to watch Hardy out there.

Post match the Young Bucks come out for a staredown with the Hardys. I don’t think that’s a big surprise, but the Hardys trying to go at that pace could be rough.

We get a video from William Regal on training the Blackpool Combat Club. Regal talks about how this is about physicality and hurting people, which is what wrestling is. The video includes Regal physically training the team before saying that the Club would rather cut you on the face than stab you, because that is what you will remember. Check this out as it was nearly chilling with Regal sounding so serious about the whole thing. Also note that this is the shortened version, with the whole thing being available on Twitter.

AFO vs. Blackpool Combat Club

It’s Butcher/Blade/Angelico for the AFO here and the fight starts before the bell. Blade beats on Danielson at the bell before Angelico comes in and gets rolled up for two. Danielson starts on the arm and hands it off to Yuta for the same. The armdrag into an armbar keeps Blade down but it’s off to Butcher to take Yuta into the corner.

We take a break and come back with Yuta taking Butcher down so Moxley can come in. A cutter of all things drops Blade (that’s a new one from Moxley) and some biting allows Danielson to come back in on Angelico. Stereo chokes keep Butcher and Blade down and set up the triple stomps. Danielson chokes Angelico out for the win at 7:40.

Rating: C+. This needs to be about it for the Club in these nothing matches. They’re fun and entertaining, but they’re glorified target practice. The good thing is that we should be getting ready for a bigger match at Double Or Nothing so at least things aren’t going to be run into the ground. It’s still very fun to see them pounding the stuffing out of people, but it’s time to move up.

Jurassic Express is in on Team Taz’s challenge for the Tag Team Title match. First though, how about Jungle Boy gets an FTW World Title shot?

Keith Lee and Swerve Strickland are ready for Team Taz as well.

Wardlow vs. ???

Before the match, MJF and Shawn Spears come to the stage to insult Maryland and the opponent is….William Morrissey (better known as Big Cass, or W. Morrissey in Impact), which is the name that was all but guaranteed last week. They start slowly with the power game not getting either very far. Morrissey’s running splash in the corner doesn’t work but Wardlow’s does, only to have Morrissey come back with a big boot.

Wardlow is knocked outside for a posting as we get dueling WE WANT ENZO/NO WE DON’T chants. Back in and the slug it out until Morrissey hits a swinging Boss Man Slam. Morrissey puts him on top but gets knocked down, with Wardlow hitting something like a moonsault while landing on his feet. A one movement Powerbomb Symphony (also known as a powerbomb) finishes Morrissey at 5:29.

Rating: C. This went a bit longer than it needed to but Wardlow surviving a beating and then coming back for the win is all that matters. Wardlow continues to run through monsters, which should mean he can destroy MJF when he gets the chance. Not a bad monster clash here, with Wardlow continuing his roll.

Post match Wardlow isn’t being handcuffed and beats up security, leaving MJF with a stunned look on his face. Wardlow says he wants his release so MJF says they can have a little match. The match is on, but there are going to be some stipulations. Wardlow can hear about those stipulations in a contract signing next week in Long Island.

Toni Storm/Ruby Soho and Britt Baker/Jamie Hayter are ready for their tag match on Rampage. It’s the first time a women’s match has opened the show, which is another point for Baker. Soho is sick of hearing about Baker and they are counting down the minutes until 5:30 on Friday (special start time).

Here is Hangman Page for a chat. Page talks about his World Title defense against CM Punk at Double Or Nothing and he sees it differently than some do. It would be easy to talk about the two of them having a great match and a classic with a handshake but that isn’t what is going to happen.

Page is going to destroy Punk and yells at a fan in a Punk shirt, saying she is going to be running back to the merch stand for a refund. Punk isn’t here tonight because he is probably off filming another TV show. If Punk wants a fight, it will be the fight of his life. This was a pretty hard shift from Page and I can go for more of the serious version.

Video on Konosuke Takeshita.

Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and Satnam Singh aren’t impressed with DDT Pro’s Konosuke Takeshita getting the red carpet treatment. Where is Lethal’s red carpet? Lethal throws out the challenge for Rampage.

Santana vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho, now billed as the Wizard, has the rest of the Jericho Appreciation Society while Santana is here alone. Santana isn’t waiting and hits a flip dive onto Jericho before the bell. The fight starts on the floor with Santana sending him into the barricade but taking way too long to set up the steps. Instead Jericho grabs the camera, giving us a first person view of Santana’s double middle fingers.

Santana kicks him down and they get inside for the opening bell. Minard grabs Santana’s leg and the triangle dropkick puts Santana on the floor and we take a very early break. We come back with Santana hitting the Three Amigos, setting up a top rope splash for two. Jericho is right back with a knockdown into the Walls but Santana makes the rope. The rest of the Society tries to bring in the bat but Santana fights them down and hits a discus lariat for two. A Society distraction lets Jericho get in a low blow though and the Judas Effect finishes for Jericho at 8:58.

Rating: C+. They kept Santana strong here as there is no shame in losing to a much bigger star when said star has a five on one advantage. Santana and Ortiz continue to feel like they should be the breakout stars but it just hasn’t clicked yet. A singles match like this is a good start, but AEW needs to follow up on it. Also, ending this team feud already would be a good move because it has started to get old.

Post match the beatdown is on with Ortiz’s save being cut off almost immediately.

Samoa Joe is coming for Jay Lethal.

The Gunn Club has gifts for the Acclaimed: SCISSORS! Scissoring ensues. As long as it isn’t a running joke, they should be fine.

Here are the Varsity Blonds for a chat. Brian Pillman Jr. talks about how the team has gotten complacent, but that brings him to his father’s best friend (and college roommate), Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh. John told him to attack every day, so that is what he is doing tonight. The House of Black is called out and here they come, with the House destroying the Blonds in short order.

Malakai Black comes over to Julia Hart and stares at her before she is handed a chair. Julia can’t bring herself to swing so Black rips the eye patch off….but here is the Death Triangle for the save. This went on WAY too long and we still didn’t actually have anything happen. Please just get to the Death Triangle vs. the House of Black already so we can move on to anything else.

Jade Cargill and the Baddies are ready to keep dominating.

Owen Hart Foundation Qualifying Match: Dante Martin vs. Rey Fenix

Julia Hart is still here as Fenix kicks Martin down to start. Martin is sent outside and we take an early break. Back with Fenix hitting a middle rope reverse Spanish Fly (kind of making it into a flipping Russian legsweep) but Martin kicks him down again. Commentary isn’t happy with how long Martin is taking to stay on Fenix, allowing Fenix to hurricanrana him to the floor. Back in and Fenix hits a pop up cutter for two, setting up another super reverse Spanish Fly. This time they both land on their feet, setting up Martin’s poisonrana. The Nosedive misses though and Fenix grabs an over the shoulder piledriver for the pin at 9:38.

Rating: B. This was more exciting than pretty much anything else on the show and they did exactly what you would have expected from them. They flew through the match with one big spot after another (meaning we didn’t need a break here) and that’s all they should have tried here. Fenix winning makes sense but Martin looked good in defeat. Very fun match and the kind of stuff you knew was coming when it was announced.

We finally have Owen Hart Foundation brackets:

Rey Fenix
Kyle O’Reilly

Samoa Joe
JOKER

Jeff Hardy
Darby Allin

Adam Cole
Dax Harwood

Darby Allin and Sting know Allin’s match with Jeff Hardy will be special.

Here is Thunder Rosa for a chat. Everyone has a story and they all have good and bad people. She is the undisputed Women’s Champion and has worked hard to get here. Now she is the boss of this division and wants the best competition in the world. She drove eight hours to see the wrestler who made her what she is today and calls out the #1 contender, Serena Deeb. Cue Deeb, who thinks they can make this the best women’s division in the entire world. Deeb says Rosa knows she is on another level and it is time for her to win the title to show the world. The title match is set for Double Or Nothing after a fairly stumbling exchange.

Here’s what’s coming up on various shows.

John Silver is ready for CM Punk next week.

Ring Of Honor Women’s Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Mercedes Martinez

Champion vs. Interim Champion for the undisputed title. Feeling out process to start with neither of them being able to get very far. Purrazzo is looking frustrated early on as we take a break. Back with the forearm exchange with Purrazzo getting the better of things until a fisherman’s buster gives Martinez two. Purrazzo can’t get the Fujiwara armbar and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. The armbar is blocked again and this time Martinez pulls her into a surfboard dragon sleeper for the tap and the title at 10:38.

Rating: C-. I’m really not sure what to think of this, but these two were put in about as bad of a position as they could have been. Purrazzo is an Impact wrestler and Martinez, while in AEW, is hardly a regular. They were fighting over another company’s title in an AEW main event. In short, the fans came here to see AEW, not another company’s wrestler fighting for a third company’s title.

It was also an ice cold match as there was no hype for it on AEW TV and the limited promo time they had coming in was “I’m going to be the champ/No I’m going to be the champ”. The match might not have been great on its own, but they were put in a no win situation and the crowd being so eerily silent told you everything you needed to know about how this went.

Martinez celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was not the strongest edition of Dynamite, as aside from the Fenix vs. Martin match and Page’s (short) promo, there wasn’t much to see. It felt like a show that was designed to fill in two hours with the main event in particular being a letdown. I wasn’t feeling this one, though odds are the NBA and NHL games are going to put a big hit in the audience. Maybe they took the week off as a result, but it didn’t make this much easier to get through. The good thing about AEW though: I have every reason to believe that this is a one off and not a downward trend, which is more than most companies can say.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Fish – Swanton Bomb
Blackpool Combat Club b. AFO – Triangle choke to Angelico
Wardlow b. William Morrissey – Powerbomb
Chris Jericho b. Santana – Judas Effect
Rey Fenix b. Dante Martin – Over the shoulder piledriver
Mercedes Martinez b. Deonna Purrazzo – Dragon sleeper

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Rampage
Date: April 29, 2022
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Ricky Starks, Chris Jericho

We’re still in the most serious wrestling city in the country and that should play into AEW’s hands rather well. Rampage is the show that is going to focus on the in-ring action more than anything else and hopefully that makes for a good night. Throw in Danhausen calling out Hook and….I’m really not sure what that is going to mean. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Qualifying Match: Swerve Strickland vs. Darby Allin

Sting is in Allin’s corner as they start with a wrestle off. Neither can get very far until Allin takes him down by the arm. Make that a chinlock for a bit before Allin knocks him to the floor. The suicide dive is cut off by a jumping knee as commentary talks about how well these two know each other.

We take a break and come back with Allin working on the knee but Strickland fights up. Swerve knocks him down but misses the Serve Stomp. Allin’s Coffin Drop hits raised knees so Strickland kicks him in the head for two. Strickland heads to the apron and suplexes him down onto the floor, because that’s a totally rational thing to do. Cue Ricky Starks off commentary to go to ringside but Sting cuts him off. Allin grabs the Last Supper for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C+. Annoying distraction finish aside, this worked well while it lasted, even if you factor in the pretty insane suplex to the floor. You could have gone with either winning here, but Allin is a bigger star and a threat to win the whole thing. Strickland needs a win of his own though, as he hasn’t had much success so far around here.

Shawn Spears is excited to see Wardlow get taken out by the big guy next week. They still won’t say who it is though.

Chris Jericho names himself Sports Entertainer Of The Week for attacking Eddie Kingston.

Santana and Ortiz storm the commentary booth and jump Jericho to lay him out.

Baddies vs. Skye Blue/Trish Adora/Willow Nightingale

That would be Jade Cargill/Red Velvet/Kiera Hogan. Blue gets taken into the corner to start so Velvet can choke with the boot. Hogan comes in with a running boot the face but Blue manages a kick. Blue and Hogan both catch a kick at the same time before Hogan kicks her in the head. Adora comes in and gets hit with a step up Fameasser, allowing the tag off to Cargill for jaded and the pin on Adora at 2:40. Total squash.

Darby Allin offers Swerve Strickland another match after the ending but Strickland knows Allin didn’t have anything to do with it. Strickland wants Allin to win the tournament so now he can go find Keith Lee and deal with Team Taz.

Keith Lee vs. Colten Gunn

Gunn looks like he got kicked in the face by a horse, kicked the horse back, and then got kicked in the face again. They shove each other around a bit until Lee takes him into the corner for the Grizzly Magnum chop. We take a break and come back with Lee hitting some running shoulders but missing a charge in the corner. The Fameasser is blocked though and the Big Bang Catastrophe finishes Gunn at 7:00.

Rating: C. As is so often said about AEW matches, this needed a break? The match wasn’t even that good as Gunn was little more than a sacrificial lamb for Lee. I’m still not sure what Lee is supposed to do in AEW, because he has been stuck in minor stories and matches like this for a lot of his time there. The Gunns continue to be watchable though and there might even be some potential upward mobility for both of them.

Jeff Hardy is ready to take out Bobby Fish next week in the Owen Hart Foundation tournament.

The Undisputed Elite laughs off the idea of Jeff Hardy being a threat, with Fish calling him Jeff hardly.

Here is Danhausen, who says SEND HOOK. Cue Hook, with Danhausen thinking that we need to do this at another time. Cue Mark Sterling for a distraction so Tony Nese can jump both of them. Hook fights up and grabs a suplex, allowing Danhausen to curse Nese and Sterling. The villains leave and the fans want Hookhausen, but Hook grabs him by the neck instead, only to leave without getting violent.

The Gunn Club says that isn’t a loss but the Acclaimed comes in to offer some scissoring, complete with hand gestures. The Club wants to go talk to their dad, leaving the interviewer to turn down the same offer.

Mercedes Martinez is ready to take out Deonna Purrazzo and become the undisputed Ring Of Honor Women’s Champion.

Samoa Joe threatens to kill Trent Beretta, while Trent says he’s going to win the ROH TV Title.

Ring Of Honor TV Title: Trent Beretta vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is defending and the Best Friends are here with Trent. Joe knocks him into the corner to start but gets knocked outside, setting up Trent’s Asai moonsault. We take a break and come back with Trent hitting a top rope dive to the floor to drop Joe. Back in and Trent grabs a Saito suplex for two, only to have Joe pull him into an STF. We’ll make that a Crossface but Trent gets his foot on the rope. Jericho: “He’s not dead yet!” Joe blasts Trent with a clothesline, with Jericho switching to “he might be now!” The MuscleBuster is broken up and it’s the Koquina Clutch to make Trent tap at 10:02.

Rating: C+. Joe can have a good match with anyone and the same is true of Trent, making this a fine enough main event. That being said, having a 40+ year old Joe as the midcard champion of a minor league promotion isn’t likely to bring in more eyes to the show. Joe can still draw in some attention, but isn’t there anything bigger that he could do than this?

Post match Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and Satnam Singh come out to interrupt a Samoa Joe interview. Orange Cassidy tries some lazy kicks but gets decked by Dutt. The brawl is on with Lethal and Joe having to be held apart to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Maybe they were taking a week off this time because of the NBA and NFL events going on, but this wasn’t exactly a great show. It didn’t feel like much of anything on this show mattered and that isn’t a great feeling to have. There is some good enough action, but it continued AEW’s trend of not feeling important without the big stars. Certainly a watchable show, but not worth the time.

Results
Darby Allin b. Swerve Strickland – Last Supper
Baddies b. Skye Blue/Trish Adora/Willow Nightingale – Jaded to Adora
Keith Lee b. Colten Gunn – Big Bang Catastrophe
Samoa Joe b. Trent Beretta – Koquina Clutch

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

New Day vs. League of Nations

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

The Cell is lowered for the 33^rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.