Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVII (2015 Redo): It’s This Show

Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Reliant Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Sunday Night Heat: Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay vs. X-Factor

The Astrodome looks amazing with a sea of people and the very cool looking ceiling with daylight still coming in. The ramp is really long as well which makes for some lengthy entrances.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Shane McMahon in his WCW limo arrives.

Tazz/APA vs. Right to Censor

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York (a WWF themed night club/restaurant).

The Rock has just arrived.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Rating: D+. Again this was fine but that tieup in the ropes killed the momentum they had going. Test was little more than a midcard guy at this point but Eddie was getting more and more over every week. Unfortunately he was also getting more and more into substance abuse and would be gone by the end of the year for a long time.

Austin arrives nearly an hour into the show.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

They hit the mat again and go for the legs but roll into the ropes for another break. The fans are all over Angle and he has to get to the ropes to escape a Crossface twice in a row. Back in and Benoit tries a third straight Crossface so Kurt punches him in the face for the first real advantage.

Video on the WWF going to Fort Hood for a pep rally with the military. There was a parade with a cadence for Undertaker and the wrestlers all got plaques. Angle of course wanted a medal instead. This was cool stuff and something that would be amplified by the Tribute to the Troops show in a few years.

Ivory is defending and Chyna has that fireworks gun again. An early belt shot puts Chyna down and Ivory (described as looking like Lilith Sternin-Crane by JR) hits some very weak forearms to the back. Chyna grabs a kick to the leg and throws Ivory away with ease. Some clotheslines set up a powerbomb but Chyna picks Ivory (further described as a yapping female dog by JR) up at two. Instead a gorilla press drop completes the squash and Chyna is champion at 2:39. This is the most logical way to go with this match as there was no way anyone was going to buy Ivory putting up a fight against Chyna here.

We recap Vince vs. Shane. Vince went on a power trip and Shane came back to take him out for cheating on Linda. This led to a street fight at Wrestlemania but Shane upped the ante by buying WCW out from under Vince six days before this show. This is a match with a very deep backstory and a bunch of stories are going to be intertwined.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Yesterday at Axxess, the Hardys said the feud with the Dudleyz and Edge and Christian ends with TLC II.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Axxess video.

The new attendance record is 67,925, meaning we get some more awesome wide shots of the crowd.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Greg Valentine, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch one last time.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH finds a chair and destroys Undertaker but he takes too long with a big swing, allowing Undertaker to grab him by the throat for a terrifying chokeslam off the tower. The visual is kind of ruined as we see HHH laying on a big pad but it looked great until then. Undertaker makes up for it by dropping an elbow off the tower and beats up the EMTs who dare try to help HHH.

The Last Ride (an elevated powerbomb) is loaded up but HHH grabs the sledgehammer and blasts Undertaker in the head for a VERY close two. That was one heck of a near fall. Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner, only to have Undertaker come out with the Last Ride for the pin at 18:17.

Rating: A. Another great brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other for nearly twenty minutes. The referee being out cold that long was a stretch (and no medical assistance was a bit ridiculous) but it let the match make more sense. This was when HHH could do no wrong and Undertaker always makes it work at Wrestlemania. Really good stuff here and a forgotten classic.

Of note: JR says Undertaker is 9-0 at Wrestlemania. This is the match that really made the Streak a thing for the first time.

A fan won a contest to get tickets to the show.

Rock and Austin are ready.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

What was a big surprise was Vince and Austin uniting, which is also a very questionable decision. Austin was still red hot and certainly could have carried the company as the lead star but this took the Austin train off the tracks (outside of Texas of course, where Austin could do no wrong). Vince and Austin coming together signaled the end of an era and a bold move, but it was part of a string of decisions that helped bring the company down from its peak and sent it into a tailspin for a few years.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

As I said a few years back: Yep it holds up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVII (2013 Redo): It’s A Bigger Gimmick Than You

Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Shane McMahon in his WCW-1 limo shows up. He bought WCW on Monday, setting the stage for the Alliance.

Bradshaw is worried about Taz not being here for their match so he goes on one heck of a rant about how awesome Texas is before going on about how THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA.

Right to Censor vs. APA/Taz

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.

Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.

Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York.

The Rock arrives, 40 minutes into the show.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Test is defending and Eddie has the Perry Saturn with him. Eddie tries to jump him to start but gets thrown around by the pure power of the champion. A spinning powerbomb gets two for Test and they head to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Eddie gets in a shot to take over before pounding away in the corner. The champion comes back with a clothesline for two before heading up top.

Off to a sleeper by Guerrero now as the fans seem to be getting a bit bored. Test fights out of it after a few moments and hits the tilt-a-whirl slam to put both guys down. Another tilt-a-whirl ends in a powerbomb for two for Test but Eddie kicks him low to break up a full nelson slam. Saturn slips in while the referee is yelling at Eddie for the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (a swinging neckbreaker), giving Eddie a two count.

Mick Foley promises to call the street fight fairly.

Austin is here, 55 minutes late.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Angle says he won but Benoit jumps him and puts on another Crossface, making Kurt tap again.

We recap Vince demanding a divorce from Linda while openly having an affair with Trish. Linda had a breakdown so Vince had her medicated to the point that she was basically a vegetable. Shane returned to destroy Vince and challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vince said ok but there were bigger things to take care of.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

HHH and Undertaker are getting ready. To this day I still want one of those X7 baseball jerseys. They were AWESOME.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Video on Axxess. I need to go to that someday.

Now for the fun part of the show to give the fans a chance to breathe. Here are MEAN FREAKING GENE OKERLUND and Bobby Heenan to do commentary for the next match.

Gimmick Battle Royal

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker. HHH beat Austin at No Way Out and then said there was nobody left for him to beat, so here came the Dead Man. HHH jumped him from behind and choked him with a chair a week later. Taker came back with a pipe, earning himself a restraining order from Stephanie.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Taker is busted open and HHH is having a fit. The Game pounds away at the cut in the corner but makes the fatal mistake of going to the middle rope for more leverage, allowing Taker to grab the Last Ride to plant HHH and make himself 9-0 at Wrestlemania. Taker lays on the ropes after the match and the shot of him busted open but smiling is sweet.

Some fan won a contest here because of a poster.

As JR says, the time is upon us.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

They fight over to the announce table with Austin coming back with a bell shot to the face. Rock is knocked onto the announce table which breaks a few seconds later. We head back inside for Austin to pound away to even more pops from the crowd. Rock comes back with right hands but Austin drops both him and a leg for two. Rock is busted open and Austin chokes away in the corner. Austin stops to yell at the referee and gets his head taken off by a lariat from Rock.

Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Beer is consumed and Rock is hit with the belt one more time for good measure.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

Redo: B

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A++

Yep it holds up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVII (Original): The Great One

Wrestlemania 17
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman
Star Spangled Banner: N/A

And here it is. This show makes up for the back to back lousy shows. This review is going to be extremely biased as I’ve made no secret to the fact that I think this is the greatest PPV of all time, as do many others. Some, including me, say that this was the end of the Attitude Era. WCW and ECW were both gone in their original forms by this point and the WWF reigned supreme.

While I’ll save the backstories for the individual matches, WCW going out of business plays a role later on in the show in case you didn’t know. I used to have the original on video but I’ve misplaced it since then. It might have ran away as I’ve probably watched this show 75 times all the way through. Does it still hold that honor, almost 8 years later? Let’s find out.
We start with a bit of a strange video of people all over the world watching Wrestlemania, implying that it’s almost a spiritual event. One thing I don’t get though: a man and a woman curl up in the back of a car to watch it. Since when can you get PPV in the back of a car? I think I’m looking too deeply into this. Let’s get on with the show.

The main event here is the face vs. face rematch of Austin and the Rock, which was absolutely the only choice for the main event as neither had anyone even remotely close to them. If this tells you anything, the second biggest match on the card was Taker vs. HHH. Even that, two of the biggest stars of all time going at it pales in comparison.

The version I’m watching has Limp Biskit’s My Way in it. The edited version sees it replaced by a song called Adrenaline Rush. This was used as the recap song for Impact, and this DVD of WM came out after that song was used by TNA. There’s something great about that. We are live in the Houston Astrodome, making this the first of the stadium Manias in quite some time.

It really makes it look better to me as there are almost 4 times as many people as there were at some Manias. The ring looks tiny and I love the visuals here. Paul Heyman is your analyst tonight as Lawler had quit the company. His wife, diva the Kat, had been released from the company for reasons unclear. Lawler thought it wasn’t fair so he quit as well. The witch then left him, causing him to lose his pride and come crawling back to Vince.

Enough talking. On with the action! And more talking, but I guess that goes with the territory.
Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

This was during the time when Regal was the Commissioner of the company. On his first night with that job, Jericho had some out and asked him to shut up. Regal responded by putting Jericho in various handicap matches. Jericho fights back by having Kane and Undertaker destroy his office and relieving himself in Regal’s tea. We get this match to resolve this feud. In the time it took me to type that, Jericho has finally made his way to the ring.

Jericho also did a thing on Raw where he dressed up as Doink to beat up Regal. Never got the point of that one. Another aspect of the story is Regal beat up Jericho on Smackdown, injuring Jericho’s left shoulder with his finishing move known as the Regal Stretch. During Regal’s entrance we see the recap of what I just told you about. The aisle is LONG here so there’s time for a lot of talking and recapping during entrances.

Jericho gets a clothesline to start and the forearm sets up some mounted punches. Spinwheel kick puts Regal on the floor and Jericho is like screw it and hits a plancha to take Regal down. Heyman is fired up to be here to put it mildly. Top rope back elbow gets two and Jericho tries the Walls which he can’t hook on. Regal’s chest is RED from those chops. He manages to send Jericho shoulder first into the post and there goes the momentum. He does it again just for emphasis.

Suplex gets two and Regal works over the arm again. Jericho tries a quick Lionsault which misses and Regal gets a rollup for two. Another suplex gets two. Regal pulls the turnbuckle pad and Jericho’s shoulder goes into it twice. The referee is all cool with this I guess. Jericho fires off some enziguris to break things up a bit, called martial arts by Ross.

Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two for Jericho. He charges at Regal in the corner but misses. Regal manages to get a butterfly suplex off the top which oddly works for him. No cover though as Regal is down. Scratch that as it was just delayed and it gets two. Belly to back is reversed into a Walls attempt but the shoulder gives out and he can’t do it.

Regal locks on the Regal Stretch and Jericho is reeling. There’s the rope though with a lunge. That’s not quite the STF as it’s more of a half nelson instead of a crossface. More chops by Jericho and he rams Regal into the buckle that was exposed. Bulldog sets up the Lionsault and it’s over very abruptly. I think they ended it early as Ross sounded surprised that it ended there.
Rating: B. Not long enough to be great, but there’s no dead spots and both guys beat on each other really well. Solid opener between two guys that know what they’re doing out there. It always helps when you can tell these guys know what they’re doing and want to be out there. Good stuff and a very good opener.

Shane arrives late, complete with a WCW license plate. Surely a collector’s item.

APA and Jackie are in the back but they can’t find Tazz. Bradshaw doesn’t like that, and he says a great promo: “You don’t understand. It’s Wrestlemania! Heart are going to be broke. Legends are going to be made. Egos are going to be shattered and people are going to be kicked. We’ve got a match, LET’S GO!” Dang indeed.

APA/Tazz vs. Right To Censor

It’s my Lee special here. Very simple backstory here: RTC hates the APA because they smoke and drink. Tazz is just kind of there for the ride. I think RTC got on him for being a thug but that was minor. Paul Heyman makes some jokes saying they’re extremists, and when I hate something extreme, you know it’s bad. The one flaw to this show might be the entrance to the ring. Tazz is still walking when APA’s music hits.

Heyman’s jokes about Texas are great as you can tell he doesn’t like the place. If there’s a bad match on the show, this is definitely it. RTC in this case is Val Venis, Godfather and Buchanan. Jackie and Stevie are the backups on the floor. Val and Taz start slug it out on the floor and then in the ring so they start us off I guess.

Jackie DDTs Stevie as this is a big brawl to start. Ok never mind as it’s Buchanan vs. Farrooq to officially get us going here. Buchanan could certainly move for someone his size but he walks into a powerslam by Farrooq. Off to Tazz now as the beating is on. Big boot breaks that up and here comes the RTC. That could be a really bad sitcom.

Val comes in with some knees to Tazz’s ribs. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Tazz is sent into the ropes and falls into them in something resembling a botch. Goodfather gets an elbow to take him down and a belly to back gets two. The former Ho Train hits but a Vader Bomb misses. Bradshaw comes in and cleans house, barely getting Goodfather over with a backdrop.

Everything breaks down and it’s a double spinebuster for Val, followed by a belly to back off the top rope. The roof looks like a spaceship or something and every time they show it the thing looks awesome. Another not Ho Train misses and the Clotheslin ends Goodfather.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it was far from great. They kept this short, which is good because there was really no point to this. Fast paced and the APA beating people up was always fun. If this is the worst match on the show, I can more than live with it as this was perfectly fine but would have been better suited on Raw I think.

In the back, Trish brings in Linda in her wheelchair to meet Stephanie. Might as well give you the story now. Vince had said he wanted a divorce from Linda, who had a nervous breakdown because of it. Vince put her in an asylum or a rest home or something like that while he had an open affair with Trish. This was highlighted by a famous scene where Trish said she’d do anything for him so in the ring he had her strip to her underwear and crawl around, barking like a dog.

Shane reappeared and was furious with his dad for all of this so he challenged him to a street fight. With HHH’s help, Vince beat Shane down. However, the Monday before Mania, it was announced that Vince had (legitimately) bought WCW. However, in kayfabe, he had wanted to sign the contract at Wrestlemania.

Shane took this opportunity to sneak in and buy WCW from Vince, signing the papers that Monday instead of waiting. Shane showed up on the final Nitro to announce it, 6 days before the street fight. This eventually led to Stephanie “buying” ECW and the dreadful Alliance angle that took over the company all Summer. Had it not been for HHH tearing his quad, this angle could have been the biggest of all time. But that’s another story for another time. Anyway, Stephanie treats Trish like crap and she just takes it. There’s a joke there somewhere.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

No real story here other than giving Raven an impossible set of opponents to defend the title against. Paul’s advice to Raven: run a lot. I can’t say I disagree. Heyman says he’s a fearless man which gets a funny response from Ross of “let’s not get carried away here.” Kane and Raven go at it before Show gets here. Raven jumps him with a piece of plastic which gets him nowhere.

Here comes Show who takes his time getting to the ring. Someone in the front row wave a Twinkie and he’ll be here in seconds. With Show on his way, Kane presses Raven onto him over the top. Show catches him and tries the Final Cut (why call it that anyway? I never got that name) but Kane takes Show down with a top rope clothesline to the floor for two.

We’re in the crowd already and that’s the last time we’ll be in the ring all match. Show is in his swimsuit here. The cameraman has to try to follow these guys which doesn’t work at all. Show and Kane hammer on each other as Raven is nowhere to be seen. Ah there he is with a plastic something or other.

Kane grabs Raven and throws him into a wall which has a hole in it now. Show slams Kane onto some pallets that are made of wood and chases Raven down. They go into some caged storage area which Show locks. Kane is like screw that and rips the door off and they keep up the fight. They look like it’s all cleaning supplies or something like that.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose and they go out of the cage place. Kane keeps choking with the hose and then picks him up, throwing him by the neck through a glass window of an office kind of place. Show, not to be out done, knocks Kane through the door. Show wants the chokeslam on the floor but Kane fights him off, knocking him through the wall into another room.

Raven stumbles in and tries to get a shot in which gets him nowhere. The champion steals a golf cart but Show jumps on the back. Kane gets one of his own and brings the referee to chase after Raven and Show. He almost runs over Raven’s leg as we hit catering. Raven is thrown into the Snapple and the coffee much to Paul’s dismay.

You can tell they’re getting tired here as we hit the Gorilla Position. They come out to the stage as the giants stalk Raven. Kane goes off on Show but runs into a clothesline to take him down. Show picks up Raven to toss him off the stage but Kane kicks Show off the stage and into part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg onto them and pins Show to get the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great. It was meant to be a wild brawl and that’s exactly what it was. We knew Raven would lose, just not who he would lose to. Quite well done and fine for what it was. This was designed to be a fun hardcore match and it worked just fine as that.

Angle is watching a video of him tapping to the Crossface. Edge and Christian come up to talk but Angle doesn’t feel very chatty. He looks for what it means to officially tap out, saying that since it wasn’t a match, he didn’t actually tap. This is intense Kurt and it works really well.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York, a nightclub/restaurant that was WWE themed. That would have been awesome.

There’s an Aussie at the show. Kind of cool actually that someone flew 30 hours from Australia for the show. There’s a REALLY bad edit here as I remember the woman saying WWF at least twice. It’s really badly covered up here. Stupid panda loving hippies.

Rock arrives at the arena, 45 minutes into the show.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Always sad to see the two dead people wrestling on any show. Dang Eddie’s music was sweet. Don’t really think there was much of a story here other than Eddie is your challenger. That belt just looks tiny on Test. Eddie was a guest referee on Raw in a match with X-Pac which I think happened once the match was made. Paul explains that Texas is part of Mexico. I love Heyman at times.

Test gets a gutwrench powerbomb almost immediately so we hit the floor after the two. Saturn is on the floor and in Eddie’s corner. Test dominates with power here but gets caught going up on the inside. Eddie tries a rana and either they botch it or Test didn’t know what was coming as he just stays there. Test gets a shot from the middle rope for two and hammers away even more.

A big boot by the Canadian misses and Test gets all caught up in the ropes. Eddie more or less rolls his eyes as he has to unhook Test who falls to the floor. Eddie hammers on the ankle and we go back into the ring. We kind of hit a lull as there isn’t much going on here. A sleeper by Eddie wastes some time. Test gets a tilt-a-whirl slam to break the momentum and they slug it out some.

Another tilt-a-whirl is spun into a powerbomb by Test for two which looked awesome. Test wants the Full Nelson Slam but Eddie gets a low blow, allowing Saturn to hit the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (it’s a neckbreaker and yes that’s the real name) for two. Ross shouts about there being a third man in the ring. That’s very true JR. He’s called a referee.

Frog Splash misses and the pumphandle slam only gets two as Saturn distracts. Big boot is loaded up and Saturn interferes again, taking the least convincing big boot ever. Another boot to Eddie gets two as Dean Malenko interferes. Test had to wait to cover Eddie forever because Dean took awhile to get to the ring. Saturn throws in the belt and Eddie pops Test to win the title.
Rating: C-. This is easily the worst match of the show and it’s not completely terrible. Eddie clearly carries it but Test’s power offense was always fun. Not terrible, but for a Mania match, this was pretty bad. Definitely could have been left out and put on Heat instead. Also this probably should have been about two minutes shorter.

Mick Foley, the guest referee for the street fight says that he’s not at all biased towards Vince for beating him up and firing him on national TV. He’s calling a fair match tonight.

And he’s going to do it right here, in Houston, Texas!

Austin is just getting here. Good grief the tardiness! We’re an hour into the show almost and he’s just getting here? Someone fine this guy and give him a stern lecture!

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Ok, here’s your story reenactment. 6 days ago on Raw:

Benoit: I don’t have a match at Mania.

Kurt: Neither do I.

Both: Let’s have a match.

Seriously, that’s it. This was thrown on the card because two top stars had nothing to do at all. Angle runs down the Texas fans for the cowboy hats. Also the flag is missing 49 stars. That’s hilarious. Paul: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Never let it be said he doesn’t say what he was thinking.

Naturally we hit the mat to start as this is about as technical as you can get. The fans applaud the standoff as they probably should. Back to the mat and it’s another standoff. We hear about how great they both are and it’s amazing to me that Angle has only been a pro for a year and a half now. That’s incredible. Angle overpowers Benoit and grabs a suplex kind of move.

Back to the mat again as this is almost all grappling so far. Angle tries for the ankle but it’s back to just laying on Benoit. This is very different but still incredibly interesting as you can see that they both know what they’re doing on a man. Benoit almost gets the Crossface but Angle makes a rope. Another single leg by Angle but Benoit tries the Crossface again, only for Angle to get to the ropes again.

More grappling and again Benoit can’t quite get the hold on before the rope is grabbed. Angle pops him with a right hand and it’s time to fight. Out to the floor and Angle whips Benoit into the steps to really take over. Back in the ring and Angle gets a vertical suplex for two. Make it a pair of both. Benoit fights back with HARD chops but walks into a belly to belly to get a woo out of Angle.

Another belly to belly has Benoit in trouble. We get a Jack Brisco reference which results in another argument from Ross and Heyman. More chops by Benoit and momentum shifts a bit. Snap suplex gets two as Benoit channels his inner Dynamite Kid. Superplex off the top puts Angle down but Benoit can’t cover. Blast it stop with the delayed covers!!! It gets two as you would expect.

Time for the Rolling Germans as Angle is in trouble again. Angle reverses into the ankle lock attempt but Benoit counters into an ankle lock of his own. Crossface attempt number four but Angle has a hand between the grip and the face, allowing him to get a rollup to escape. Angle grabs a Crossface of his own which might look more painful than Benoit’s.

Down goes the referee (of course) and Benoit gets the Crossface. Angle taps (of course again) but there’s no referee. Benoit (of course) lets go of the hold instead of waiting on the referee and Angle gets the Angle Slam for two (wow these guys are predictable). Moonsault misses (that might have hit 5 times ever. I’ll stop with the parentheses now) but the headbutt gets two. Benoit tries a suplex but Angle gets a low blow and cradles Benoit with tights to end this out of nowhere.
Rating: B+. The finish kills this for me. These two are two of the best workers of all time and we need a pull of the tights for a pin? That doesn’t fly with me. However, the other stuff they did is absolutely great. If you can believe this, this isn’t even close to their best match ever. For that, check Royal Rumble 2003. That match is a candidate for greatest match of all time. I’ve been watching these two for years and I’ve yet to see a bad match from them.

Kamala is in William Regal’s office. Hilarity ensues. Heyman shakes his head like he’s waking up from a nightmare.

We see a video of a Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, Texas. This was really cool I thought. A bunch of wrestlers, mainly some divas, Angle and Taker visited the soldiers. Factor in that 9/11 was about 5 months away so soldiers at home were still the biggest thing I suppose. The commander got a nice WWF recliner and the wrestlers got plaques. Lita doesn’t seem thrilled about being there. Angle like it but would rather have a medal.

Angle is upset about something, saying he deserves the title. Benoit attacks and locks on the crossface and Angle taps again.

We see the recap of Chyna vs. Ivory. The idea here was that Chyna had a bad neck, allegedly caused by Ivory. Ivory, as a member of RTC, wasn’t happy with Chyna being in Playboy. Now this is the time where I’ll embarrass myself. At the time, Ivory was kind of like the evil feminist. To steal the term from JR, imagine Lillith from Cheers or Frasier as a wrestler.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

The only good thing here is Chyna more or less in a purple bikini. She launches a bunch of pyro with this big gun she carried with her at this time. What do you expect here? This might last three minutes as Chyna annihilates Ivory. Ivory gets in a few shots and that’s about all. It ends with a press slam and Chyna officially murders the division to get the title. It took that mistress from Canada and the redhead to save it.

Rating: N/A. Not a match, but a squash. The problem here was that Chyna was a former IC Champion and had some great matches with men, including clean pins over guys like Jericho. Why should we believe that anyone else had a chance against her? Simply put, we didn’t. There was one good thing though. At this time, Chyna wanted money the likes of which Taker and HHH were getting.

Vince is a bit loony some times, but even he knew that was never going to happen. Chyna was gone within three months and the real women’s wrestlers were able to revive the division, including one of the best rivalries I’ve ever seen in Trish vs. Lita. This was a total slap in the face of the Women’s Division though.

In the back, Vince tells Michael Cole that he’ll get something shocking tonight.

I already recapped this feud above so read about it there.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Naturally this is a street fight. Can someone explain why Shane, the face, is the one owning the invaders but Vince, the guy that represents the home grown talent is the heel? No one else could either so finally in June they made the change to fix this and we got the Alliance. We see some WCW people in a box in the rafters. Some faces I can identify: Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak, Bobby Eaton, Chavo Guerrero and that’s it. Seriously? That’s the best you’ve got? And people have the nerve to ask why this bombed.

Vince and Shane have the same music which is kind of odd. Foley is the referee. Stephanie is with Vince and there’s no sign of Trish or Linda. Vince pummels Shane to start us off and Shane is in trouble. Shane fires back with basic strikes until Stephanie comes in to distract him. He hammers on Vince with a sign of some kind and adds a clothesline to keep Vince down. Some kendo stick shots have Vince in big trouble.
After some punches, Shane smashes him in the head with a monitor in an absolutely sick shot and lays him on the… wait for it. Wait for it. It’s coming. HE LAYS HIM ON THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! WOW! What a cool idea! Who would have ever thought of putting someone on there? Also, who makes those tables? They’re making a fortune which is impressive because they apparently make REALLY bad tables.

Shane goes to the top and launches a picture perfect elbow drop onto Vince but Stephanie pulls him out of the way as Shane “crashed, and he for sure, BURNED!” according to your favorite Oklahoman. At this point, Trish brings out Linda in the wheelchair. The cleavage on Trish is mind blowing here, especially compared to Stephanie who hasn’t had her plastic surgery done yet. It’s kind of odd looking actually.

Anyway, Trish starts helping Stephanie up but turns face by slapping the tar out of Vince. We get a cat fight and Foley pulls them apart before Stephanie slaps him. Trish chases her down the aisle and in the worst acting job of all time, she “falls” running down the aisle and Trish nearly catches her. Back at ringside, Vince nails Foley with a chair as Foley tries to protect Linda from Vince.

Vince puts Linda in the ring. He throws Shane and four garbage cans into the ring. Linda stands up and the crowd pops. Vince turns to see her and spreads his legs open to set up Linda kicking him low. Foley beats the tar out of Vince to allow Shane the chance to set up a Coast to Coast in an amazing athletic move to get the pin, as apparently he, Trish, Foley and Linda worked together to screw Vince over. They walk to the back as Vince’s, uh I mean Shane’s, or is it Vince’s, no wait it’s Shane’s I think, music plays. Get your own bad rap music already Shane!

Rating: B. This was a messy brawl, but given who it was and the ending, it was fun. Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers, but they can put on a passable fight. That dropkick from Shane is always cool and this was its debut. To have all of these angles come together in one match is really quite impressive.

We see the Hardys at Access talking about how they’re going to put their bodies on the line to win the tag titles. Truer words have never been spoken.

We cut to HHH getting ready for no apparent reason before cutting to Taker for no apparent reason. Dang that X7 baseball jersey was sweet. Always wanted one of those.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This is yet another match with no story but it never needed one. These three teams all wanted to be the champions and this match was fairly obvious. The Dudleys come in as champions here. All four faces jump the Canadians to get us going here. The Dudleys hit a flapjack to Christian as the beating is on. The Hardys take down the Dudleys for awhile until Edge and Christian bring in a ladder.

Edge grabs a chair and he and Christian stand on Matt’s balls in the corner. A double drop toehold by the Canadians puts Jeff into the chair. Edge tries to get the belts but Jeff makes the save. The Hardys get a double baseball slide into a ladder into the Dudleys on the floor. Using a pair of ladders, Matt drops a leg and Jeff drops a splash on Christian at the same time. Nice move.

There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the girls. What’s Up to Edge And now it’s table time. Edge is laid out on one so Bubba picks up Jeff and powerbombs him right through Edge and in turn the table. On the floor now and the Dudleys stack up two tables on top of two more tables for the big spot later in the match. Paul talks about Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Oh dear.

More ladders are brought in and in a spot that still makes me and the crowd breathe in, Bubba takes a ladder and just bashes Matt in the head with it. That has to hurt something fierce. All six guys go up at once and all six guys come crashing down almost at once with some hitting ropes, some hitting mat and some hitting ropes. Christian goes flying to the floor which looks AWESOME from the above the ring camera.

He sets up a table on the floor as Edge tries to go up. Spike Dudley who was injured by Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno, comes out and takes down Edge and hits a Dudley Dog to Christian through the table. Jeff goes up but it’s Rhyno out now for the save. Gee I wonder who will come out to help out the Hardys. Rhyno destroys everyone and here’s Lita.

She stops Edge from going up but gets caught in a gorilla press by Rhyno. Spike saves her and it’s a Litarana for Rhyno. Spike hits Rhyno with a chair and he falls into a ladder, sending Edge down. Dudleyville (Doomsday) Device to Rhyno and he’s finally down. Lita takes her top off (looking incredibly good in a black bra) but walks into a 3D. Chair shots by the Canadians take out the Dudleys and Edge wants the big ladder.

Jeff gets the large ladder though and hits a Swanton onto Rhyno and Spike who are both on tables. Spike takes the whole thing and Rhyno’s table doesn’t even break. That was ALL Spike. The big ladder is in the ring now and set up in the middle of the ring. Christian and D-Von go up but Matt moves the ladder under them (with a shout of HERE WE GO first) and they’re stuck hanging there.

After both fall, Jeff walks across the top of the three other ladders (kind of as the third one falls) to get to the titles. The big ladder is in the corner and Jeff goes up a regular one. The ladder is moved by Bubba and since Jeff’s feet were on it, Jeff goes swinging in the opposite direction, right into a spear by Edge from the super ladder, which is not only Edge’s Wrestlemania moment, but the moment that made him a star.

Back after about 5 replays with Bubba and Matt going up the big ladder. Rhyno shoves the ladder over and they go crashing through the four tables that were set up at ringside earlier. D-Von and Christian go up but Rhyno gets beneath Christian and climbs up with Christian on his shoulders, giving him the needed assist to win the titles again. Incredible match all around to say the least.
Rating: A+. These guys nearly killed each other. You can see that it’s miles better than last year because they knew what they were doing to a greater extent. That spear from Edge more or less ended Christian’s usefulness in the WWF as Edge began to get the singles push from here on out.

Either way, this match is great as it’s a total spot fest but it is still better than all of the MITB matches that would follow in its footsteps. If you’re bored here, go get a blood injection. The crowd ate this up and it just clicks all around as they somehow top the other matches they had which are also greats.

JR looks at the carnage and says it looks like a tornado went through a mobile home park. There are wrestling rings and ladders at a destroyed mobile home park?

Video on Axxess, which looks AWESOME. Various wrestlers say this is awesome, and they’re right. You can call matches, get autographs and see all kinds of exhibits. I’d love to go to something like this to say the lease.
There’s a record crowd for the Astrodome of 67,925. That’s very impressive.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

To any other old school freak like me, welcome to nostalgia heaven. We have 18 men in this and it’s nothing but the most off the wall gimmicks that the company could think of. Given some of the stuff WWF had done up to that point, this could be mind blowing. As an added bonus, Gene freaking Okerlund and BOBBY HEENAN do the commentary.

Oh my goodness, we have found the greatest Wrestlemania match of all time. During the entrances Bobby calls Gene Tony in a funny bit. Butch licks Mean Gene just like he did to me at a house show. The pop for Jim is ridiculous. You need to look all of these people up if nothing else to learn what bad gimmicks are all about.

The introductions took 5 minutes and the match lasts three minutes. The commentators mention that they’ve never seen a battle royal that ends so fast. Doink getting eliminated brings forth the loudest booing all night which doesn’t surprise me at all. The fans are totally into this which makes me smile.

Sheik wins if you’re interested. After that Slaughter comes back in and beats him up. Sheik won this because he wasn’t able to be thrown over the top rope due to age. Nothing in the match means anything which is why I’m not even going to list it off. Slaughter puts him in the Cobra Clutch post match because he’s an AMERICAN.

Rating: N/A as it’s not a serious match but I don’t ever remember having more fun with a single match. Even at 13 I knew this was cool and it still is to this day. The fans being 100% into it makes me very happy as it’s obvious they still like these guys. While a lot of matches like these bomb badly, the battle royal was a great idea as it kept things quick. Excellent match and all kinds of fun.

Now it’s time to get to the real meat of the show. Somehow, everything we’ve seen so far has been appetizer. That is unbelievable considering what we’ve seen so far. Seriously, TLC, Benoit/Angle or the street fight could be the second big match on any other card, but that’s not what we get as the second big match. We get this.

We recap HHH vs. The Undertaker. HHH beats Austin twice in a row and says there’s no one left for him to beat. We hear a gong, and I lost it. This was amazing and I knew it would be a classic. Taker gets in HHH’s face and says that HHH has never beaten him, but if HHH tries, Taker will make him famous. Over the next 5 weeks, we got the great build up.

HHH destroyed one of Taker’s bikes, had Taker sent to jail, etc. Taker gets ahold of HHH one night, so Stephanie issues a restraining order on Taker. However, there isn’t one against Kane. Kane chases Stephanie, allowing Taker to beat up HHH. Kane holds her over his head and threatens to throw her down from a balcony, unless Regal makes the one on one match at Mania. Taker obviously gets his wish, and here we are.

Undertaker vs. HHH

Back then, HHH was a bigger star than he is now. He beat Austin, the king of the world, twice in one night the previous month. Taker was about 8 months into his biker gimmick and was a step behind what he used to be at though. However, this was his hometown and it’s Wrestlemania, although this is before the Streak became important.

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and it is freaking awesome. They play the verse and chorus all the way through before we cut to a long shot of the arena and we see Triple H, Start Game flash on the screen, then a small object appears beneath it. Cut to a shot of HHH and then back to the arena. My goodness these stadiums are awesome. The live band is always cool as they play him through the long walk down the aisle.

HHH does a double water spit so you know this is an important show. The song ends and HHH paces back and forth. We hear gong strikes, and the lights go out. DEAD MAN WALKING. Instead of walking down the huge ramp, Taker drives his bike down instead in another famous shot. The cool thing here is it’s long enough that he can crank it up and gets the bike flying down the aisle. Taker jumps in the ring, rips the shirt off and we’re on.

Just as Taker is about to start the fight, JR mentions that he is 8-0, undefeated at Wrestlemania. Ladies and Gentlemen, the streak is born. That’s the first time that it’s mentioned on WWF television to my knowledge, but certainly the first time at Wrestlemania. The fight starts on the floor with Taker hammering away. Guess what Taker knocks HHH through. Go on, I want you to guess. It rhymes with French announce table. You guessed it. Twice in one night has to be a record.

They slug it out in the ring and the knee to the face gets HHH nowhere. BIG back drop puts HHH down. Powerslam gets two and a big clothesline takes down HHH. Old School is countered. Not sure how HHH knew it was coming. Might be that Taker shouted out OLD SCHOOL right before he went for it. Just a hunch mind you. The Game hammers away on Taker including a trio of elbows. That and a neckbreaker gets three straight two counts.

HHH goes after the ref and gets shoved back which gets a huge pop. My goodness this crowd is white hot. Six minutes in and HHH gets the sledgehammer. Referee takes it from him so HHH tries a Pedigree which is blocked into a catapult and the referee goes down. Chokeslam gets two because the referee was slow thanks to him getting bumped.

Taker, being the ticked off man that he is, beats the referee up because of this. The throw that Taker sends HHH to the floor with is either great selling or a real throw. We go into the crowd and actually wind up at the production tower which has been seen maybe twice in company history. This is what the cameras sit on in the arena and where the sound is adjusted etc. Quite simply if they screw up here, the PPV goes off the air.

HHH now has a problem. He’s trying to run from Taker, but the only way to run is to keep climbing the tower. HHH finds a chair up there though and lands about 10 sick chair shots to Taker. They’re in a tiny place so Taker is laid out and HHH just hits him wherever he can with the chair. Great visual on that. Taker gets up and catches HHH after the Game poses. The flashbulbs are going so crazy it’s hard to see them for a little bit.

He then chokeslams him off the tower. Now think about why this is cool. No one has ever seen them fight here before so it’s unknown. There’s no referee as Taker beat him up. Most importantly, we don’t see HHH land. What did he land on? That’s what makes this cool: the total mystery of it. Sadly, we see he landed on a big pad, but it still must have knocked him out a bit. If not, the elbow Taker drops on him does. What’s a good American to do now? He beats up the EMTs of course.

They fight back to the ring and the referee is still down. What the heck? He got kicked and elbowed, not shot in the forehead. Taker gets the hammer and a low blow to make him drop it a few seconds later. Heyman talking about how dangerous weapons are is either a rib by him or the best unintentional comedy I’ve heard in a long time. HHH gets a tombstone countered because he’s not the Undertaker, and Taker breaks out the Tombstone for maybe the first or second time in a year plus.

The crowd loves it, but still there’s no referee. In a sweet finish, Taker goes for the Last Ride but HHH picks up the hammer and nails him in the head with it. That somehow only gets two. Taker is bleeding and HHH sends him to the corner to rain down right hands. He pauses for a split second to yell at the crowd, and Taker reaches up and grabs him before stepping forward, lifting him into the air and drilling him with the Last Ride! He gets the pin as the crowd explodes.

Rating: A+. This is an outstanding match and would have main evented any other show of the year. The story was great, the fighting was off the charts, and you never knew who was going to win until the very end. Excellent job from both guys involved and probably the true forgotten classic in Wrestlemania history.

Rock has a song coming out called Pie. The CD has Rock’s custom internet browser.

A kid that talks way too fast made some poster or visual thing and won a contest. Ok then.
Good grief what in the world could follow that? Somehow, that’s nowhere near the main event, as no one came to see anything but the real main event: the two biggest stars on the freaking planet, one on one for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship.

I can’t say anything that’s going to build this match up better than the actual video, so here it is.

[youtube]DxttU7_2-WA[/youtube]

If that doesn’t embed for you, go Youtube it. It’s incredible.

I’m not a big fan of Limp Biskit, but that was awesome. By far the best recap video I’ve ever seen and one of the only times the theme song could not have been any better for an event. Great job.

WWF World Heavyweight Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is made No DQ just before the match starts which is a surprise to everyone and it comes back to play a factor later. JR’s saying WHAT as soon as that’s announced made me laugh quite loudly. The glass shatters and the ovation is deafening. Austin is so over it’s amazing. He hits the first corner and the pop grows somehow. He turns around to cross the ring and it’s as if everything goes into slow motion. Austin climbs to the middle rope, throws two fingers into the air, and the flashbulbs go insane. It’s that moment that defines this whole show I think.

All of the other great matches all night long, from the wrestling classic to the ladders to the war we just saw, none of that means a thing anymore and every single eye in the building is on this man right here. It’s the peak of Steve Austin’s popularity and it’s amazing to say the very least. JR’s commentary is absolutely perfect here. It’s that perfect voice that we all know, but the words simply couldn’t be better. He builds this match up to be as epic as it should be. The music ends, and we hear the sound of his opponent.

Rock comes out to an INCREDIBLY mixed reaction. He’s either being cheered all the way to heaven or being booed out of the building. Not sure which. He hits the corner, throws the belt over his shoulder with his arm raised in the air, and we get the staredown from one side of the ring to the other. The feeling is all there too. You can tell what you’re watching is absolutely epic and it feel just right.

The fight starts almost immediately with Austin jumping Rock as he gets off the ropes. Thesz Press takes down Rock seconds into it but Rock fights back with a swinging neckbreaker. Rock Bottom and Stunner both don’t connect and we hit the floor. Out into the crowd they go with neither guy keeping an advantage at all. Back to the ring now with Austin having a brief advantage.

Superplex gets two and Austin takes the turnbuckle pad off. Rock fights back to massive booing and a clothesline for two. Back out to the floor again and Austin gets a shot with the bell to take Rock down. Rock is sent onto the table which breaks on a delay so the camera misses it. This is so epic. These two are the biggest stars in the world and this is the biggest match of the year. What more can you ask for?

Austin hits a neckbreaker for two. Mudhole stomping commences but Rock comes flying out with a clothesline to huge boos. More slugging it out with Rock in control now. Rock grabs the bell and gets a shot to the head with it for two. Austin is busted open and Rock hammers away. Oh man he’s bleeding BAD. Back to the floor again and they fight it out even more.

Another important thing to note is Ross. Ross has been mostly reserved all night but now he’s pouring it on. This makes this look FAR more interesting and intense while at the same time not diminishing the other stuff. Austin gets a slingshot to send Rock into the post. Monitor to the head and Rock is down on the floor. THAT gets two.

Austin flips Rock off and gets caught in the Sharpshooter for his efforts. Rock is busted now too. Great throwback here to Mania 13 as Austin screams in the hold. Rock pulls him back to the middle and Austin is in big trouble. Finally there’s the rope. Now Austin throws it on Rock and the people are loving it. After it gets broken it goes on again and this time it’s a rope used to escape. HUGE booing when he gets there too.

The Million Freaking Dollar Dream goes on and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock pushes off the corner ala Bret vs. Austin at Survivor Series 96 but this time Austin kicks out. Little things like those make matches AWESOME. Rock gets a Stunner out of nowhere for two.

And now we set up the ending as Vince McMahon is here. Both guys get spinebusters but Rock’s sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince slides in and breaks that up though, shocking everyone. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two. Crowd is losing it on these kickouts. Stunner is blocked and there goes the referee again.

A low blow puts Rock down and Austin asks Vince for a chair. Vince cracks Rock with it as the crowd isn’t sure what to do. Vince puts the referee back in but THAT gets two. A Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Vince has the referee. Rock pulls Vince in but walks into another Stunner for ANOTHER two. Austin is all ticked off now and Vince hands him a chair, drilling Rock with it for two. Austin absolutely explodes, drilling Rock with the chair an insane 19 times and getting the academic pin for the title. Rock is DEAD.

Rating: A+. The repeated finishers and chair shots hurt this quite a bit, but the crowd, the commentary and the overall feeling push this to the sky easily. Epic feeling the whole match and the crowd was in the palm of their hands. Not great wrestling, but the crowd carries this to greatness.

Austin and Vince shake hands, ending the Attitude Era and also ending the superpower that WWE was and marking the beginning of the decline of the company. They share a beer and another Stunner to Rock ends this very long but incredible show.

Overall Rating: A+. This is the greatest PPV of all time, bar none. The worst match is passable at worst. The crowd never once dies, even popping a bit in the European Title match. Looking back, you have the following matches that would either steal the show or main event any other show: Angle/Benoit, TLC 2, Street Fight, HHH/Taker.

Those are all top shelf matches anywhere you look at them, and then with the crowd as hot as they were for the main event and how it’s solid in its own right, this show is amazing all around. All night long the stuff was fast paced, everyone was having fun, and the matches are all intriguing. Can’t recommend this one enough.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (2020 Redo): Before TLC Wasn’t TLC

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was one of the shows that tied for the most votes for a redo but I’ve seen Wrestlemania X, the other option, more times than I really need to and this sounded more interesting. It’s kind of an infamous Wrestlemania as there are no singles matches on the entire show but it is the biggest show of the year in the best year WWE has ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner. Sweet goodness she can knock that out of the park.

The opening video is a quick “hey it’s Wrestlemania” before looking at the four way main event with a McMahon in each corner. That’s all that really matters here, but it’s quite the big deal.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice T. raps Godfather and Brown to the floor with an original song, including telling the fans to “GRAB YOUR B******!” Brown slugs away at Buchanan to start and it’s off to Godfather in a hurry. That means a slam into the spinning legdrop, only to miss the big elbow (which would have missed by three feet anyway). Boss Man comes in and the fans aren’t pleased, mainly because this is their opener.

It’s back to Buchanan, who hits that perfect top rope spinning clothesline so Boss Man can come in for the running crotch attack to the back. A big boot into the ax kick gets two as Lawler can’t help but freak out over Godfather’s ladies. Buchanan whips Brown into the steps and it’s back inside for the bearhug.

The fans get on Boss Man again as Brown fights out, only to get caught with a backbreaker as JR makes XFL references. Buchanan goes up so Godfather shakes the rope for the crotching. A hurricanrana allows the hot tag to Godfather and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Everything breaks down and it’s a Boss Man Slam to Brown, followed by the great looking guillotine legdrop for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. What a completely bizarre opener. This would have been a filler match on any given episode of Raw and it’s the first thing you see on Wrestlemania? With the heels winning? It’s a really weird choice here and serves no major purpose, so why go this way? The crowd was surprised and a bit deflated, which is a rather stupid choice to open the show. Totally weird one here.

HHH and Stephanie, the Women’s Champion, are rather chill before the huge main event.

We see Crash handing over the Hardcore Title so it can be defended in the Hardcore Battle Royal.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Crash, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending and this is a big free for all with falls counting anywhere. Whoever gets the final fall leaves as champion, with no limit on the title changes allowed. It’s a brawl to start and Tazz suplexes Crash for the pin at 24 seconds. Viscera grabs Tazz for a posting and a World’s Strongest Slam gives him the title at 56 seconds.

A bunch of people brawl around the ring but another bunch go after Viscera. The Acolytes can’t put him down, though Hardcore can bust Crash open with a shot to the head. The weapons shots continue with no one getting any serious advantage until Hardcore hits Viscera with a cookie sheet for two. More violence ensues as we hit five minutes, though Viscera is starting to slow down.

Abs suplexes him for the title at 6:37 to go but gets sent into a door so Thrasher can pin him with 6:18 to go. Back in the arena and the bloody Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher for the title with 5:32 to go. They go back to ringside and Tazz suplexes Pete for the title with 4:44 to go. In the confusion, Tazz even rolls Thrasher up for one, with the referee counting out of insanity. The Hollys double team Tazz inside until he trashcan lids his way to freedom, including a shot to Crash’s head for two.

We have two minutes left as the Hollys fight over who gets to pin Tazz, as you might have seen coming. Hardcore’s dropkick gets two with a minute left but he gets suplexed out, leaving him alone in the ring. Crash comes back in for a cookie sheet shot for the title at 37 seconds left.

Tazz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore busts a jar of candy over Tazz’s head for the pin and the title at 1 second left to win the thing at 15:00. That was a botched ending as the referee stopped counting at 2 because Hardcore came in too early and shouldn’t have gotten the pin. Also, allegedly, Tazz was supposed to get a run as Intercontinental Champion (possibly in the role that went to Chris Benoit) but the glass got in his eye and he was out of action for a few months as a result.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about this one, but the biggest problem is it goes on a bit too long. Cut this down to ten minutes and it’s better, as what they have loses its charm a bit near the end. The ending being botched didn’t help things either and there is no big moment that makes you chuckle. It’s not a disaster or anything, but it’s nothing memorable either.

We look at Axxess, which was still a new thing back then. Chris Jericho thinks everyone is here to him, and he might be right. It’s so weird seeing it still be what looks to be a smaller function, compared to the insanity that it is today. This goes on for a good while, likely to clean up the arena.

We look at the battle royal ending again, because it was that much of a mess.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall because he has some idea. Steve Blackman comes in and tells him to be serious.

We cut to a closeup of Trish Stratus’ chest, just in case you thought the next match meant a thing.

An enziguri takes Albert down so it’s back to Blackman, who gets shouldered down. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Test gets sent outside. That leaves Albert to get suplexed and Snow slowly hammers away as the match somehow grinds to more of a halt. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Chester starts hitting on Trish. Lawler: “It’s like Chester the Molester.”

Albert knocks Blackman away and brings in Test to pick up the pace in a weird near hot tag from the heels. A powerbomb gets two on Snow because this needs to keep going, including the bowling shoe line from JR. Snow is back up with a backbreaker/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Test. Albert gorilla presses Test onto Blackman for two with Snow making the save. He gets knocked down, leaving Blackman to get press slammed again, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: F. Other than Trish, this is one of the most irredeemable matches I’ve seen in years. There was no heat, there was no good action and there was no reason to keep this going. I’m not sure what the thinking was going into this but it was a disaster in every sense of the word. This is up there with some of the worst Wrestlemania matches ever and the only reason it’s not higher is the stakes are so low.

Post match, Snow and Blackman beat up Chester because the loss was his fault. Somehow, this made things even worse, if that’s possible.

Kat is sans clothing in the back with Mae Young and we get an Austin Powers style gag with Mae holding up various objects at rather opportune times to cover various things.

The Dudley Boyz aren’t happy with being in a ladder match but they’re ready to walk out as champions. This is when Bubba still had the southern accent and it’s bizarre to see these days.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

The Dudleys are defending in the first ever triangle ladder match. There isn’t exactly a story here, because that would be missing the point in a match like this. Edge and Christian jump the Hardys before the bell and the fight is on with the champs still in the aisle. As usual, the three brawls break out at the same time and they wind up all around the arena. Bubba gives Jeff a Bubba Bomb and Christian throws in the first ladder.

Everyone winds up inside with ladders crushing the Dudleys in the corner. Edge gets laddered down as well and Jeff hits a DDT on Bubba. Jeff’s 450 hits ladder though, leaving Bubba to put the ladder on him and Bubba Bomb said ladder. Another ladder is put on top of Matt so Edge rides a ladder down, Shawn Michaels style, to crush him again. Back up and Bubba puts the ladder on his head for the Terry Funk helicopter spot until the Canadians dropkick him down.

The double flapjack puts D-Von into the ladder in the corner, followed by Christian climbing a ladder and diving down onto Bubba and Matt. Jeff climbs up so Edge spears him off the top rope in a big crash. Multiple ladders are set up in the middle and it’s Bubba cuttering Christian off for the next double knockdown. The Hardys are back up with the splash/legdrop combination to Bubba, followed by a superplex to bring D-Von off the ladder.

Edge and Christian and the Hardys climb but take each other back down and it’s a huge double crash. A third ladder is set up and all six climb, with the Hardys taking a crazy bump over the top to the floor, with Christian and Edge being shoved onto the ropes for a nice crash of their own. Back in and Christian gets crushed with the ladder, leaving Edge to take 3D (the old version, with Bubba getting a running start). Some tables are thrown in and the Dudleys bridge one up on top of a pair of ladders like a scaffold.

The Hardys make the save because that took a long time but the Dudleys are right back up too. Bubba sets up a table at ringside and climbs onto a table (JR: “Not the Spanish announce table!”) and powerbombs Matt through it. D-Von’s splash misses Jeff and only hits table so Jeff runs the barricade at Bubba, who throws a ladder at him for the nasty crash.

Just to make it worse, Bubba sets up the huge ladder in the aisle with a table for a bonus. Christian pops back up and saves Jeff with a bell shot though, leaving Bubba on the table. You know what that means, as Jeff goes up and hits the CRAZY Swanton to crush Bubba (who sells it like death). Back in and Matt goes up, only to get shoved off the platform and through the table, leaving Edge and Christian to win their first (of a freaking ton) Tag Team Titles at 22:31.

Rating: A. I could watch these every day, but egads they are some violent matches. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s some of the most exciting things you’ll see. One of them was once told that they weren’t supposed to be telling stories in these matches but they were managing to pull it off. That’s absolutely the case, as the series of matches that started here would just get better. It’s almost impossible to believe they would wind up being so amazing, but this was quite awesome in its own right, with the ending being a pretty cool visual. Check this out if you haven’t in awhile.

Linda McMahon tells Mick Foley to go get it tonight. Foley talks about how this is the biggest show of the year and it’s the biggest match ever, so it’s the biggest match of all time. Tonight, he’s proving that fairy tales come true for him. I’ve watched a lot of Foley over the years and you can hear it in his voice: this means the world to him.

The Kat vs. Terri

Mae Young and Moolah are the respective seconds, Val Venis is refereeing and you win by throwing the other woman to the floor. Val gets in his usual jokes about how this is the big show and only comes once a year, but…..yeah you get the joke here. The catfight is on in a hurry but Kat stops to kiss Val. A few hair tosses let Terri pose but Kat nails a spear. Mae gets on the apron and tries to take off her clothes, meaning Val misses Kat throwing Terri out. Moolah goes after Terri so Mae can kiss Val, allowing Moolah to pull Kat to the floor, giving Terri the win at 2:23. This was somehow worse than the usual women’s match of the day.

Post match Mae hits Moolah and gives her the Bronco Buster. Kat strips off Terri’s pants for a bonus.

The Radicalz are ready for their six man match but Eddie Guerrero is more worried about his hair. And Chyna.

Chyna is disgusted.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The Radicalz (minus Benoit here) have only been around about two and a half months here. Eddie and Scotty circle each other to start until Eddie’s headlock makes Scotty lose his hat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Eddie so Scotty dances over to Chyna, meaning Eddie needs to crawl to the corner in a hurry. As JR talks about Chyna looking great, it’s a double suplex to drop Dean, allowing Chyna and Grandmaster to dance a bit.

Grandmaster slams Malenko and makes that weird noise of his, followed by a belly to back suplex to Guerrero. Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop though and it’s the Radicalz taking over for the first time. Just to make it personal, Saturn STEALS GRANDMASTER’S HEAD THING and stomps away even more. Grandmaster doesn’t like the hat stealing and gets over for the tag a few seconds later, only to have Scotty get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Lawler: “Chyna starting to feel the heat. She’s starting to perspire and get moist!”

Eddie gyrates at her a bit before sending her into the turnbuckle, earning himself a Grandmaster suplex to the floor. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Worm (JR: “Not the double Worm! Well it is Wrestlemania!”) to Saturn and Malenko. The referee grabs Chyna to keep her from killing Eddie and Saturn superkicks Scotty.

The always great looking top rope elbow mostly misses so Scotty can superplex Eddie down. Chyna comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, including a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie tries to powerbomb Chyna but she slips out into one of her own (with almost no elevation), setting up the gorilla press for the big spot. A sleeper drop finishes Guerrero at 9:39.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but they did an awesome job of firing up the crowd. The people wanted to see what they were doing here and it was a lot of fun as a result. They pulled me into this and I was having a good time with the whole thing. Chyna wasn’t what she used to be but the stuff with Eddie was awesome and would get better the next night when they got together.

Some fans won a contest and were flown to Wrestlemania on the day of the show.

Shane McMahon is ready for Big Show to win the WWF Title.

We see Kurt Angle laying out Bob Backlund for getting him in a two fall triple threat match. Angle didn’t need him anymore and never really did in the first place so good job on splitting them up.

Kurt Angle tries to get extra security after he retains his titles tonight. He’s willing to sign autographs for the guard’s kids! Maybe. Goofy, delusional Kurt is one of my all time favorites and always has been.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is a two fall match, with the Intercontinental Title on the line first and the European Title second. Jericho can’t guarantee walking out as a champion but he’ll walk out as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. As for Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto, they can have a shirt remind them of their trip to Anaheim and a Y2J beating. Jericho was still finding his footing with the signature promos in the WWF but they would get way better in a hurry.

They start fast with Benoit getting the better of it until Jericho triangle dropkicks the two of them to the floor. Jericho goes up but gets shoved down onto the announcers’ table, leaving Benoit to suplex Angle for two. Back in and Jericho dropkicks Angle down for two more but has to break up Angle’s cover on Benoit for the same. Angle suplexes Jericho for another two and a dropkick puts Benoit on the floor. The crossface chickenwing has Jericho in trouble but Benoit makes the save. A Swan Dive finishes Jericho for the first fall and the Intercontinental Title at 7:54.

Benoit gets smart by going for the cover on Jericho again but Angle comes in with a suplex for his own two. Jericho catches Angle on top but Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho, leaving Angle to miss the moonsault. Everyone is down until Benoit has to save Angle from the Walls. The spinwheel kick puts Benoit on the floor and it’s the double powerbomb to Angle. Benoit is right back in with the rolling German suplexes for two on Jericho as Angle makes another save.

There’s a dragon suplex for two on Angle, with the most ridiculous count I’ve seen in a long time as Angle’s shoulder is on top of Benoit’s. The ref gets bumped (maybe it can fix his eyes), meaning Benoit making Jericho tap to the Crossface doesn’t mean anything. A belt shot drops Jericho as the referee is back up, just as Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Jericho gets back in and Lionsaults Benoit for the European Title at 13:47.

Rating: B. This is always a weird one as it’s some pretty intricate booking (with Angle being very protected in losing both titles) but it didn’t feel urgent for a lot of the match. They were just going from move to move a lot of the time, but it’s still one of the best things on the show. It’s not like these three could ever do badly, so the match was entertaining and almost non-stop action, so it’s a lot more good than bad.

Vince McMahon promises to be a factor and guarantees to make it right.

HHH doesn’t care about what Vince says because tonight he’s going to show everyone who the man is.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi

X-Pac and Dogg have Tori with them, along with the awesome Run-DMC theme. Kane on the other hand has Paul Bearer and the always cool inverted red and black attire. Tori slaps Bearer to start so Kane grabs her by the throat as Rikishi gives Road Dogg the Stinkface. X-Pac and Dogg fail to run away and we settle down to X-Pac kicking hitting the Bronco Buster on Rikishi.

Dogg’s dancing punches set up the shaky knee for two but Rikishi grabs a pop up cutter (that’s an awesome move and someone should use it as a finisher). It’s back to Kane and the pain begins in a hurry. X-Pac gets away from the threat of a Stinkface so Tori takes it instead, giving the fans what they had been waiting on. The Tombstone finishes X-Pac at 4:16.

Rating: D. The match was just a means to an end here as you needed a way to get to Tori taking the Stinkface and X-Pac getting dropped on his head. That’s fine from a storyline perspective, though I’m not sure I would have had it second from the top of Wrestlemania. Not a good match, but what were you expecting given this lineup?

Post match Too Cools out, meaning it’s time to dance. Hold on though as the San Diego Chicken, as in the disguise that Pete Rose wore last year, is here as well. Dancing ensues and the Chicken is far too good of a dancer to be Pete Rose. Kane grabs the chicken (there has to be a joke there somehow) but Rose runs in with the baseball bat. Rikishi takes that away so Kane chokeslams Rose, setting up the Stinkface to end the Rose saga for a good many years.

Rock is ready for the final battle and of course he would do it all over again. This is Wrestlemania and it’s not about the McMahons (oh please) because it’s all about the WWF Championship and tonight is the night.

Some celebrities are here.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. HHH

HHH is defending, elimination rules, and there’s a McMahon in every corner, with Vince, Linda, Shane and Stephanie here respectively. They might as well have just had the McMahons working the match as they’re the only things that matter here. JR: “Not Mankind, not Dude Love, not Mankind, but Mick Foley is in the main event of Wrestlemania!” That made me smile so much. Foley and HHH pair off as Rock punches Show in the corner to start in a hurry. HHH gets hammered down to start up the running knee but Show runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Rock gets gorilla pressed and there’s one for HHH as well. Foley tries choking Show, who drops down hard onto him to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a side slam to Rock but Foley kicks Show low to break up a chokeslam to HHH. It’s time to triple team Show, including a series of clotheslines to finally knock him down. The Cactus Clothesline takes HHH to the floor, meaning Foley can beat on HHH with a chair. Shane gets knocked off the apron and a chair shot to Show lets the Rock Bottom get the first pin at 4:48.

It winds up going into Foley’s ribs though, meaning Rock had to make a save from even more violence. A double arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw and Rock adds a belt shot. That means the People’s Elbow, but Foley grabs the Claw on the Rock in a smart move. HHH low blows both of them (maybe not the brightest move) and everyone is down for a bit. Foley hammers Rock a bit and gets two off the DDT, with the fans being rather relieved by the kickout.

Rock kicks the chair into Foley’s face and a DDT gets two, with HHH making a rather illogical save. NOW Foley is willing to team up on Rock and the fans really aren’t sure what to think of this one. The running knee gets two on Rock and this time HHH doesn’t make a save. There’s a double suplex for two more and the ROCKY chants start up again.

A steps shot puts Rock down and Foley loads up the middle rope elbow, only to slam HARD ribs first into the side of the announcers’ table (it’s sad seeing that he just can’t do it here). HHH drives Foley through the table and Pedigrees Foley for two, with a big reaction from the crowd. A chair to the head sets up a Pedigree onto the chair to get rid of Foley (for good I’m sure) at 19:40.

A hard piledriver onto the steps has JR demanding/begging that the match be stopped and gives HHH a rather delayed two back inside. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top so they fight into the crowd again. After knocking Rock over the barricade, HHH knocks a fan’s hat off to be extra nasty. Rock gets in a shot of his own and they’re both down at ringside again. A suplex sends HHH through the announcers’ table and it’s another double knockdown.

HHH sends Rock inside so Vince posts HHH, drawing Shane back out to jump Vince (you knew this stuff was coming). A monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and gives us one of the funniest stunned expressions I’ve ever seen from Stephanie (look that one up if you get the chance). Vince fights up and beats on Shane, because the main event of Wrestlemania can be ignored for the sake of more drama between these two. A chair to the head drops Vince and Shane even threatens the massive Michael Clarke Duncan at ringside.

Cue Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco to get the busted open Vince out of here so we can go back to the actual match. Rock DDTs HHH for two but a shot to the face puts Rock right back down. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult to cut off an interfering Shane and the Rock Bottom connects. There’s no cover due to exhaustion so here’s Vince again (a full two minutes after he left) to go after Shane yet again. Vince grabs the chair….and of course turns on Rock with a shot to the head for two. Another chair shot from Vince retains the title at 36:26.

Rating: C-. It’s too much. There were so many instances here where I kept wondering how many more times we were going to have the McMahons get involved or have the guys fight into the crowd. Storyline wise, this would have been WAY better as a run of the mill singles match, but I can go with having Foley in there for the sentimental moment. Show….well they had an extra McMahon. At the end of the day though, it was all about the McMahons instead of Rock winning the title like he should have, with the family stuff being more of the same stuff we had seen for years. It’s not terrible, but cut out the nonsense and it’s better.

Post match Vince and Stephanie hug because all is well in part of the McMahon Family again. Shane comes in to look at Vince but gets Rock Bottomed. Vince gets one as well and Stephanie takes the third in a row, followed by the People’s Elbow.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it missed pretty badly. The problem here comes down to the fact that most of the matches just aren’t very good. TLC Beta and the triple threat are both great to rather good, but no one cared about the ladder match after TLC debuted five months later and the trio would have one great match against each other after another on higher levels. This doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania as there is way too much stuff that serves as little more than filler. It’s not the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it’s rather close to the bottom of the pile.

Ratings Comparison

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C-

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

2020 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

2020 Redo: A

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2020 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: B-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

2020 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Where did that six person tag one come from? And have I ever been that all over the place like I am on the Hardcore Battle Royal?

Not much changes in a few years.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-2015-redo-time-to-play-the-game/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (2015 Redo): The Worst Of The Best

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Ratings Comparison

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (2013 Redo): He Finally Got There

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Trish is ready in the back.

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being sans clothing and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

Ratings Comparison

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (Original): McMahons A Go-Go

Wrestlemania 2000
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Star Spangled Banner: Lillian Garcia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This whole show is an interesting one, and this is primarily for two reasons. Number one: there is not a standard one on one match on the whole card. That’s just odd for any show. The other thing: Steve Austin and Undertaker were out with injuries here. This show is also important though because it’s the first show where all your big names are just that: big names.

HHH is the reigning WWF Champion, Rock is the #1 face in the company, Big Show is there for some reason, and Foley is “retired”, but getting one more shot as he finally gets to main event a Wrestlemania, which is a nice thing to let him do, despite the fact that he really had no business there at all. He was added less than two weeks before the show after the original main event, a three way match with HHH, Rock and Big Show happened on Raw for no apparent reasons at the time.

Also at this show, we have the WM debuts of Benoit, Angle, the Hardyz and the Dudleyz, as well as Edge and Christian being actual wrestlers here for the first time. This is the first show with the new generation being around, and it showed really well. It’s also the first show where the company more or less knew that WCW and any real threat to WWF’s survival was dead, so they didn’t have to nail it to ensure where their next paycheck was coming from. However, the important question is obvious: is the show with all these new stars better than last year’s? Let’s get to it.

Sweet goodness Lillian looks different here. She aged very well and actually looks better older than she does here. She can still sing though.
After a video highlighting the previous Manias either narrated by James Earl Jones (Darth Vader in an explanation I can’t believe I had to make) or the greatest imitation of his voice ever recorded, for the first time in Mania history, we get the MASSIVE pyro display that has become a standard in WWF. So with all this new talent, what’s our first great match?

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Eh? We’re opening the show that’s supposed to lead the WWF and therefore the wrestling business into the new millennium and this is what you give us? And people wonder why wrestling went downhill in a hurry once WCW died. Godfather and Brown are rapped to the ring by Ice T, who I try to block out as most of the time these live intros are awful. Brown is a co-pimp here.

Remember the catchy Godfather entrance? This isn’t close to it. Ice T does some song that includes the lyric Pimp Or Die. Something sound bad about that? This intro goes on WAY too long and sums up what I hate about rap: this whole thing is just loud and stupid sounding. It was built to market a CD called Aggression which was a rap album of WWF entrance themes. In case you can’t guess, it bombed.

After that completely pointless intro, Godfather decides he has to do his awful intro, saying for everyone to smoke a blunt and say it ain’t easy. FINALLY Bossman’s terribly bland theme music plays and the pain in my head goes away a little bit. Godfather has really stupid looking dreadlocks here and is somehow dumber looking than usual.

There’s really no reason as to why these two are feuding in case you thought there was. Is it possible that D’Lo Brown is the most successful of these four men? I do believe he is and that’s a scary thought. Anyway let’s get to this. Brown vs. Buchanan to start us off with Brown controlling so far. Godfather takes Boss Man’s interfering head off while Brown is on offense.

Off to the pimp now as the fans want puppies. Big elbow misses as we talk about JR wearing some of Godfather’s clothes for some reason. Basically Boss Man dominates when he’s in and Buchanan can do one move, that running up the corner into a spinning clothesline. Blind tag brings in the Boss Man who gets two on Brown as Godfather saves.

Axe kick by Buchanan gets two. Brown and Boss Man on the floor now and Godfather accidentally clotheslines the referee. I say accidentally as the referee doesn’t even go down so it wasn’t the point obviously. Boss Man gets two on Brown who is the face in peril here. Buchanan with a bearhug now as the fans chant for D’lo.

Naturally that doesn’t do it but an elbow takes down Brown. Double teaming by the guys in black as Godfather just looks stupid. Boss Man sucks chant starts up. The beating goes on for awhile with Buchanan hitting a double axe off the top. We talk about Pete Rose for a bit and apparently he’s got a ball bat with him just in case.

Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Godfather and Brown busts out a rana to break the momentum. Here’s Godfather who cleans some house. Ho Train hits Boss Man in the corner sets up the Lo Down from Brown. Bull pushes him off the top though but Brown lands on his feet. Boss Man Slam kills D’lo though and a guillotine leg drop from Buchanan ends this.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s Godfather/Brown vs. Boss Man/Buchanan. It’s not a terrible match but is this really what you want to open Mania? Also, a heel team winning the opener? Just not a great idea especially after the crowd got fired up for the rapping. Not bad but just odd.

Steph and HHH are in their office talking about how great their lives are.

The referees explain the rules of the Hardcore Battle Royal tonight. It’s a 15 minute time limit. There’s no limit to the amount of title changes in that period. Apparently the 24/7 rule is waved after tonight. I think Crash has to be pinned to get the title off of him.
Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Farrooq, Bradshaw
The idea here was that the Hardcore Title was defended 24/7, as long as the challenger had a referee with him. This led to some interesting situations such as pin falls as amusement parks, hotels, etc. You have 13 guys here and whoever gets the last pinfall leaves with the belt, which would be kind of pointless as the 24/7 rule would be in effect so he could get attacked seconds after it ended right? It’s not really a battle royal but rather a 13 man match.

There are weapons at ringside and thankfully a lot of the guys come out in groups or teams to save some time. The Posse gets a small pop. The APA gets the biggest pop by far. Here we go. Remember there are 15 minutes to this period. Everyone but Crash and Taz go to the floor almost immediately and Tazz gets a suplex on Crash to win the title in maybe a minute. Now they have to pin him to get the title, which Viscera does with a splash. We’re not even at 13 minutes left yet.

Everyone is on the floor now and someone has a box fan. There’s a flag in there. The Posse of all people jump Viscera and they actually work for a bit. Lots of weapon shots to Viscera, mainly from the APA. Crash is busted open. They’ve taken the clock off the screen now because they want us to have to think I guess. Crash, ever the lunkhead, tries to jump the future Big Daddy V.

The crowd is kind of dead as they’re just hitting each other with weapons here. Bradshaw is like screw it and starts beating the tar out of people. Hardcore gets two on Viscera after a shot with a trashcan lid. Ten minutes left as JR says these guys won’t forget their first Wrestlemania. I’m not sure how many this is their first for. Taz is I think and that might be it. Funaki maybe?

We haven’t had a fall in like four minutes. 2/3 of the Posse and Viscera are in the ring now with Thrasher. Viscera beats everyone up with a cookie sheet. Farrooq comes in as Viscera climbs the ropes for no apparent reason. The APA get a double slam which doesn’t really keep him down. They throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera and Funaki is called the new champion.

Taka immediately smacks him upside his head and the chase is on! Funaki proves to be the most intelligent guy here as he’s trying to run. With a little under seven minutes left some of the Posse catches him in the back and Rodney steals the title. Abs gets a suplex and gets the title. That was a 24 second title reign for those keeping count. Thrasher rams Joey into a wall and gets the title.

Thrasher then runs through a line of people who all hit him with weapons and we’re back in the arena now. Pete Gas finds a fire extinguisher and the third member of the Posse has the title now. Then Tazz grabs him and I think Pete is busted. Oh yeah he’s busted good. A T-Bone Suplex gives Taz his second reign of the night with a little over 4 minutes left.

Hardcore gets two after ramming him into the steps. Crash is busted BAD. Taz tries to pin Mosh as I guess instincts took over or something. Taz keeps kicking out. Both Hollies fight Taz in the ring with Crash not being able to do much at all. ECW chant starts up and we’re under three minutes. Taz stands alone and covers Crash with two and a half minutes to go. Eh it’s not a big deal. As a wrestler I guess you’re trained to go for covers.

The Hollies beat Crash down and both guys try for the pin. Naturally they end up fighting which is what they do in that family I guess. With two minutes left Taz suplexes Crash and Hardcore gets a powerslam on Taz for two. I love how no one else has seemed to care about trying to win the title and is just fighting. Taz suplexes Hardcore and he hits the floor, stealing JR’s candy jar.

Now we get to the weird part of this. Crash gets a weapon shot in on Taz and wins the title with about 20 seconds to go. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore comes in with the candy jar and busts it over Taz’s head (legitimately injuring Taz’s eye and costing him the push that would ultimately go to Chris Benoit). He covers Crash and the referee just doesn’t slap the mat for three.

What was supposed to happen was the clock was supposed to go out with Hardcore having a 2.99999 count. They messed up the timing though and the referee had to stop. They further messed things up by having Fink say Hardcore won the title while JR screams that there was a shoulder up. Totally not the planned ending but you have to do what you have to do.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? The idea makes sense and given what’s going on, the mistake at the end is very excusable in my mind, and since this is my review of the show, it’s excusable. It was wild and stupid, and that’s just fine. The match was fun and that’s all that really matters.

Video on Axxess. That still looks awesome. They have a small arena with matches going on, a commentary booth where you can sit down with Michael Cole and call a match, race cars, autograph booths, a Hall of Fame exhibit. Austin and HBK, two guys that weren’t active at this time, are there too. I’d love to go to something like that.
Al Snow is in the bathroom talking to someone in a stall but Steve Blackman is worried about what he’s planning.

We go from that to an extreme closeup of Trish’s ample chest as she says WM is going to see some T & A.

Test/Albert vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

This was a really weird angle in the tag division as Snow and Blackman were doing the odd pairing that won almost every match they had, but Snow insisted that they needed a name which didn’t go that well. Test and Albert were guys that Trish had handpicked to be her team. What you have to remember here about Trish is at the time, she wasn’t a wrestler and was nothing more than the hot manager. It wasn’t for about two more years before she and Lita took the division to new heights.

As for the match, before it we get Al Snow talking. One of the names he was pitching was Head Cheese, going along with his Head gimmick. Out comes Chester McCheesyton, a walking piece of cheese. Sadly enough, I’m not making that up. Trish leads their opponents down, but is WAY more muscular than when she started wrestling. If this is believable, she let herself go physically before she started wrestling.

Lawler messes up the headsets and JR is gone for a bit. Blackman and Test start but it’s off to Snow soon thereafter. Blackman tries to keep the Head Cheese chants down as this filler match goes on. This is a good show later on but these opening matches are pretty freaking bad all things considered. I’m watching Al Snow and Steve Blackman at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.

Oh and JR is back now. It breaks down quickly as you can tell JR has nothing to work with here at all. There’s no point in talking about the match as it’s just about getting us to the end and that’s all there is to it. The cheese hits on Trish and is named Chester the Molester. Albert gets beaten down for awhile as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. This is what Raw and Smackdown are for.

Did I mention that this match is terribly boring? It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening in the ring but nothing matters at all. Crowd is DEAD here. It doesn’t help that the wrestling is boring. Double powerbomb to Snow gets two. There’s the boring chant. Bowling shoe tendency line by Ross. Head Cheese’s finishing move, the move that the Smoking Guns called the Sidewinder, gets two. FINALLY Albert gets a press slam on Blackman and the elbow from Test ends it.

Rating: F. Thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen and somehow it’s nearly an hour into the show. Just a terrible match all around and everyone knew it. Get on to whatever is next please.

The “good guys” beat up the cheese dude post match.

We get a horrible segment of Kat and Mae Young where Kat is sitting in a chair sans clothing and Mae keeps handing her things that cover up certain parts. Austin Powers was very big at this time and it’s supposed to be like that I think.

The Dudleys, still in their original AWESOME mode, say they’ll win and even though the odds are against them they’ll take things to a new level. These two more or less saved the division.
Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This was before the name TLC was coined, but it’s the same thing with a bigger emphasis on the ladders. Edge and Christian were still chasing the belts at this point and the Dudleyz are the defending champions. At this time, the Dudleyz were so over it’s mind blowing and they were easily the biggest tag team in the world. There’s no backstory here other than they’ve been feuding over the belts and E/C and the Hardys have had ladder matches before. These matches never have much backstory but they don’t need to.

The Dudleys climb a ladder and pose during their entrance so the other two teams start fighting without them. All six guys brawl in the aisle until Matt and Christian hit the ring. Matt and Jeff look A LOT alike here so I’ll likely get them mixed up at least once or twice. These matches are very hard to call so it’s likely that I’ll miss something.

Bubba beats on Jeff in the ring until Jeff gets what would become known as Whisper in the Wind to reverse. Bubba Bomb and Bubba rules the ring. That may never be said again forever. The fans want tables as Christian goes up the ladder early. Matt saves as the ladders are brought in quickly. Crowd is surprisingly quiet here but after the first three matches they had to sit through I can understand that.

We start the violence though and the fans wake up a good bit. Ladders are rammed into people and pain is caused. Matt gets the screaming…elbow onto D-Von onto the ladder. Jeff tries a 450 onto Bubba onto the ladder but the fat country boy moves and Jeff nearly kills himself again. In other news, the sun came up today. Bubba actually hits the backsplash off the middle rope but hits his head on the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN!

Matt’s entire body is crushed by a ladder and then the same thing happens to Edge. They’re doing a lot more with the ladders here. Bubba does the Terry Funk spot as he spins around with the ladder around his neck. Edge/Christian beat on D-Von for awhile and then sit up a ladder in front of the ropes. Christian dives off and takes out Matt and Bubba. Nice dive indeed.

Jeff goes up but Edge dives off the top rope to spear him down. Oh man would that be topped by about a thousand next year. Edge takes a Crucifix Bomb from Matt off the ladder. Christian throws a ladder at D-Von. Why do stuff that is too complicated I guess? Three ladders set up now but Bubba takes Christian down with the Cutter off the ladder. SWEET spot.

The Hardys kill Bubba with the legdrop/splash combo off ladders. D-Von and Christian in the ring now but here’s Edge. The Canadians get a double suplex off the ladder in a great spot. Everyone but the Dudleys go up and everyone but the Dudleys crash down. And here comes Bubba! Here they go again, this time with all six of them.

Christian and Jeff go flying over the top rope to the floor as do Matt and Edge. The Dudleys wind up in the ring somehow but they’re a bit dead at the moment. Christian staggers to his feet and is sandwiched between two ladders. The look on his face in short says “That hurt a LOT!” Old school 3D to Edge, which is where Bubba runs parallel to him and then crosses over to catch Edge in the cutter in stride. It’s an awesome move when done right.

The Dudleys don’t have their catchphrase yet so they just get the tables. With two ladders already in the ring the ring, the Dudleys set up a table on top of them like a bridge/platform between them. The Hardys are back now to surprising booing. To the floor we go and Matt is slammed into the steps and HARD. This has been an incredibly physical match to say the least.

There’s a table in the ring in front of a ladder with D-Von on said ladder and a table in front of the announce table. Matt goes on the one in the ring and Jeff is in a powerbomb position in Bubba’s hands on the announce table. In stereo, D-Von dives onto Matt and Bubba powerbombs Jeff in a cool sequence. Jeff somehow gets up soon thereafter and tries his barrier run but Bubba PELTS the ladder at him to stop Jeff in midair which looked sweet again. Jeff has taken a man’s beating in this.

And now it’s time to set up the big spot in this match as Bubba debuts the super ladder in the aisle. There’s a table set up in front of it and Jeff gets laid out on it. Christian comes up with the bell to clock Bubba. Jeff gets off the table as Bubba is laid on it. And he begins to climb. In the HOLY CRAP spot of the match, Jeff jumps off the ladder and half kills himself with a Swanton Bomb through Bubba through the table. That was the top of Jeff’s highlight reel for a long time.

Back in the ring with D-Von kind of alive. Matt and Christian are in there too and are trying to stand. Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and Matt and Christian both start climbing. They get up on the platform but Edge is climbing up behind Matt. Edge throws him off and through a table which explodes on impact. The Canadians grab the belts and win their first tag titles to finally end this.

Rating: B+. This was a great match but there are a lot of dead spots in there. Jeff is easily the star of this match as he took one of the best beatings you’ll ever see with huge bump after huge bump. Somehow this would be topped the next year and this match would be blown out of the water. Great match and definitely picked up a bad show so far. I liked it quite a bit but somehow next year’s was that much better.

In the back we have Linda McMahon with Mick Foley. I forgot to mention, the idea behind the main event is that there’s a McMahon in every corner. Stephanie and HHH, Vince is backing Rock, Linda brought Mick back in, and Shane was Big Show’s manager for lack of a better term. Foley, with washed hair, says his fairy tale will come true, not his opponents.

JR and King talk about how great the ladder match was and they’re right. Considering that almost nothing like this had ever been done with so many people, this was beyond great.

Terri vs. The Kat

Val Venis is the guest referee here. To cover up the fact that neither can wrestle, the only thing you have to do here is throw the other girl out of the ring. Val’s pre match promos are always great. Apparently he and WM have things in common: they’re large extravaganzas, they get blood pumping, but unlike Val, Mania only comes once a year. And people have the nerve to wonder why the Attitude Era scared away parents.

Terri has Moolah with her and Kat has Mae Young. This is one of the major problems with great matches: after them, you get stuff like this. Terri truly was ugly to me. Val makes out with both in the middle of the match as this continues to cry out for someone to save the division. Terri gets thrown out but Mae is kissing Val. She comes back in and Terri wins. Afterwards, Kat strips Terri of her pants.

Rating: F. Didn’t care at all and it was terrible. A complete waste of time and an insult to my intelligence. It was like two minutes long and awful to say the least.

In the back we see Eddie, Saturn and Malenko getting ready to face Too Cool and Chyna. Eddie has a crush on Chyna but can’t get her attention.

Chyna/Too Cool vs. The Radicalz

This feud went on forever and no one cared. Let’s get this over with. All I have to remember is that the triple threat is next. That should get me through this. Oh well at least Chyna looks pretty good here. I’ll give Too Cool this: their music is downright catchy. Scotty vs. Eddie starts us off here. Eddie gets beaten down a bit and we get some dancing.

Chyna is tagged in and Eddie literally runs away on his knees. Dean, the Light Heavyweight Champion is here now. JR thinks Chyna looks hot. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Grandmaster and Chyna hit a double suplex on Malenko. Hey look: more dancing. Is that all Too Cool could do? Back to Eddie who avoids the top rope legdrop. Ok so it was more like Saturn shoved Grandmaster off but work for me here.

Grandmaster vs. Saturn at the moment. Saturn steals Grandmaster’s head gear complete with dreadlocks or whatever that is. Back to Eddie who takes over for a bit and it’s cold tag to Scotty. Eddie keeps trying to get Chyna’s attention which fails completely. Since she isn’t paying enough attention she gets her head rammed into the post. Good. Witch deserved it.

Saturn and Malenko get beaten up by Scotty and it’s time for the Worm. Oh but since it’s Mania it’s a double Worm to both Radicalz not named Eddie. Everything breaks down a bit as we’re still waiting on Eddie vs. Chyna. Nice superkick by Saturn to Scotty as we’re in a bit more of a standard match now. Elbow hits Scotty from the top for no cover.

Off to Eddie but he can’t get the Frog Splash off. Scotty drills him and it’s a superplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Chyna and Eddie can’t run away fast enough. Handspring elbow to Saturn as Chyna is cleaning house. Double low blow and Eddie drills Chyna. Chyna counters a powerbomb and gets a bad one of her own. She grabs Eddie’s balls and then gets a sleeper drop for the pin. They would be together the following night.

Rating: D. Well Chyna looked good and she got to beat on Eddie. That’s the extent of the good stuff about this match. It’s nothing special to say the slightest and is yet again another pointless match on this show in a long streak of them. Again though, the triple threat is next. Keep repeating that.
That day there was a thing called All Day Long which was an 8 hour countdown of WM history that cost an extra 50 dollars. Our cable company screwed up and we got It for free. Anyway the point of this is there was a contest with the winner getting front row seats and the winner is shown. She and her husband are the definition of white trash but it’s kind of a cool idea. They’re from Allentown, Pennsylvania, hometoiwn of the Nasty Boys as I show my nerdiness.

Shane tells us how awesome Big Show is. Show says he’s awesome and will take apart the other three.

Bob Backlund who is kind of Angle’s mentor made the match with both titles being defended in the same match/back to back. Kurt kind of goes insane and puts Backlund in the crossface chickenwing even though you can tell there’s no pressure on the arm. One of the medals breaks during this scuffle.

Angle talks to a security guard to try to get some extra security, offering autographs as payment. Much funnier than it sounds.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

This is the match that everyone remembers from this show as well as being a very cool concept. Angle has both the European and Intercontinental titles and is defending both in back to back triple threat matches. The first fall is for the IC title and immediately thereafter the European Title match starts. With these three, are you expecting less than greatness?

The brilliance behind this is that even if one has a bad night, the other two are there to cover for them. Jericho is clearly having a blast on the mic here and says he’ll win something and be the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah no matter what. Angle is still the goofball heel which is some of the best stuff I can ever remember. Him being less than a year into his pro career is insane.

Speaking of insane, Benoit jumps him on the floor and the fight is on. They seem to be attacking Angle together for the most part but he fights them off somewhat. Benoit vs. Jericho now as this is rather fast paced. With Benoit and Angle on the apron, Jericho hits his springboard dropkick to take them both out to the floor. There’s a really annoying kid in the audience that is shouting about everything that’s said. Granted that’s not a terrible thing as that’s what fans are supposed to do.

Ross says Angle is great but talks about himself too much. Lawler: “So does Jericho.” Ross: “That’s a good point King. Maybe later you’ll make another.” No one ever accused JR of being the nicest guy in the world. Jericho is knocked off the top out to the floor where he slams into the table in a painful looking bump. Angle gets a snap suplex on Benoit for two.

Jericho knocks Angle to the floor and locks in a camel clutch to Benoit. This is too fast paced to call everything and they keep going back and forth. Jericho suplexes Angle and Benoit almost steals a pin. Then he does something stupid and tries to suplex Kurt. I think you get what winds up happening to Jericho. Benoit is sent to the floor and in some slick counters Angle gets a crossface chicken wing on Jericho.

Benoit manages to get a dropkick to Angle to break it up at the last second. He throws Angle into the crowd and hits the swan dive to Jericho for the pin and the Intercontinental Title. In a smart move Benoit tries to immediately cover Jericho but Angle breaks it up. All three are back in there now and Angle’s moonsault is crotched.

Angle is up top and Jericho tries a belly to back suplex. Benoit drills Jericho and suplexes him instead. Angle tries the moonsault to Benoit but crashes and everyone is down for a count. After some covers Jericho grabs the Walls on Angle but Benoit breaks it up. Angle wakes up and hammers away but Jericho takes him and Benoit down with relative ease. Double powerbomb to Angle but Benoit saves again. Rolling Germans by Benoit to Jericho get two as well.

Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Suplex to Kurt. Angle’s shoulder might have been up on the bridge so Jerry screams conspiracy. Jericho misses the forearm and drills the referee with it. Crossface goes on and Jericho taps but there’s no referee. Walls of Jericho to Benoit but still no ref. Angle drills Jericho with a belt to break it up which only gets two. Benoit misses the Swan Dive to Angle so Jericho hits his fellow Canadian with the Lionsalt for the European Title to end this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff indeed with all three guys working incredibly hard the entire time. It’s also a good way to get the titles off of Kurt without hurting his reputation. He would be world champion in the fall so he doesn’t have much to complain about. Excellent match and probably their best matches up to this point.

Vince is in the back with Cole as apparently the four way can only have eliminations via pinfall and it’s No DQ. For a multi-man match, that’s the best way to go. Vince says the McMahons won’t be a factor. That’s why they were the focal point of the match right? Vince says he’ll “make it right.”

HHH says he will not lose.

Kane/Rikishi vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg

This is pure filler before the title match, but there’s a story to it at least. DX is accompanied by Tori who is Kane’s ex. She was his first relationship and left X-Pac, allegedly because Kane wasn’t big enough for her. She’s pure sexuality and while she’s not the most famous or attractive diva, she’s one of the sexiest. The name Pete Rose is thrown around here as he might want a piece of Kane after two years of getting beaten up. Kane has been chasing X-Pac for months and this is about the best shot he ever got at him.

Well if nothing else we get the awesome Kings of Rock theme for DX. The more I see of Jesse James, the more I’m impressed. We now get Rikishi. Oh yay, it’s Rikishi. GOOD GRIEF I HATED THIS GUY. People, you want to complain about JBL being useless? This is the epitome of useless. If you remember earlier on I said there was no Austin. He was out getting neck surgery so the reason given was that he was run over by a car at the Survivor Series. No one knew who was driving it or who was behind it.

Austin comes back in the fall from being out nearly a year and the man hunt begins. Who was it? HHH, Rock, Vince, maybe even one of the new guys like Jericho or Benoit, looking to make a name for themselves? Nope. It’s Rikishi, the 400lb, thong wearing, dancing sumo wrestler. He debuted about a week after Austin was run over and while Austin was out, Rikishi rose to the IC title in a decent run and hit amazing popularity.

Then in the worst move I can ever remember, he’s revealed as the mastermind of the plot to attack Austin. They have a match and finally everyone realizes the massive problem: Austin can’t beat Rikishi up the way he usually does others because he’s too fat.

No one buys into Rikishi as the big bad he was supposed to be, so WWF pulled the blug at the last minute and said Rikishi was working for HHH, making him the true evil one. Rikishi was gone soon thereafter, thank goodness. Anyway, Kane comes out to end my hate filled rant. Paul Bearer in the red suit is just sweet looking for some reason.

Bearer and Tori get into an argument so DX double teams Rikishi. Kane has the inverted colors tonight which is awesome. Stinkface to Road Dogg as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Stinkface to Tori is avoided to big booing. DX tries to run which doesn’t work at all. Kane finally gets his hands on X-Pac.

We finally get back in the ring and Pac kicks Rikishi’s head off. Pac vs. Rikishi is how we finally start it up. Bronco Buster by Pac and it’s off to Roadie. Pac in again and he can’t do a thing. Rikishi hits a one man 3D and it’s off to Kane. Road Dogg gets his head kicked off and Tori is thrown in. Stinkface for her and a Tombstone for X-Pac ends it quickly.

Rating: D+. Well for what it was supposed to be this was fine. Keeping it short was a great thing as this barely broke four minutes. Kane gets his revenge, we get the comedy stuff, Tori looked good, and then we get what the whole point of this is about: the post match stuff.

Too Cool comes out to dance but the San Diego Chicken comes out like last year. Rikishi comes in to kill the chicken but is intercepted by some yellow sunglasses. Somehow the dancing gets the best pop of the night. The chicken can move and it’s pretty clear that’s not Rose. Kane goes after the chicken but Pete Rose comes in.

Chokeslam to Rose and Paul Bearer does the crotch chop to him. Rose gets a Stinkface to FINALLY end this. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s childish, I know it’s idiotic, but I absolutely love these Pete Rose segments. The guy is having fun and gets beaten up three straight years and it’s still awesome. I loved these things and they still make me smile. Kane’s pyro is louder than usual and it made me jump a bit.

Rock says his time is now and he’s taking the title back. This is serious Rock and it works very well.

Some celebrities are here.

Quick recap of the title match. HHH was WWF Champion so he’s explained. He was feuding with Cactus Jake and retired him at No Way Out. As a favor to him in real life, WWF brought him back in for one final match so he could live out his dream of main eventing a Wrestlemania. Since he was officially retired, if he wins here he vacates the title and a tournament starts that ends at next month’s Backlash.

Rock was the last man out of the Rumble, eliminating Big Show. However, Big Show produces a video showing that Rock’s feet hit the ground before Show’s, so Show officially won. Rock had signed the contracts though, so he couldn’t be taken out but Show could be added, leading to all four being in here. Also remember the McMahon in every corner aspect (Linda – Mick, Stephanie – HHH, Vince – Rock, Shane – Big Show).

WWF World Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show

Foley comes out first and you can tell he’s choked up. This was classy of WWF to let him have one last time and to let him accomplish his dream like this. It’s clear that the McMahons are the focal point here and is anyone really surprised by that? Big ovation for Rock here as this totally should have been Rock vs. HHH. I get the Foley addition, but did anyone want to see Big Show in there? I miss HHH’s My Time music. That was awesome.

HHH was at the absolute peak of evil here and he looks like awesome. If Stephanie’s hair didn’t look absurd, that bareback pink top and leather pants would work a lot better. HHH doesn’t quite have the water spit down yet. Here we go. Foley vs. HHH and Rock vs. Big Show to start. No tagging here of course. They say fatal fourway but it’s elimination. Foley is out of shape here as he more or less stopped training after No Way Out but to be fair he thought he was done.

Show beats down Rock and takes down the other guys with a double clothesline. Press slam to Rock which is incredibly impressive. Same to HHH. Foley jumps on his back so Show just drops backwards with him. Well why do something other than what works? Rock gets up and hammers away but a side slam takes care of that.

Show tries a chokeslam on HHH but Foley kicks him low. Foley and HHH hammer away on the Giant as does Rock. A trio of clotheslines put him down and they do a Horsemen stomp. Foley drills HHH out of instinct and they hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline. Chair to the ribs of HHH as Shane trips Rock. Foley blasts Show in the back with a chair and a Rock Bottom puts Show out less than five minutes in. Was there ANY point to him being there? He would be a face in like a week which was good for him and us as we got THE SHOWSTER.

HHH tries to ally himself with Foley to get rid of Rock. That fails so HHH tries to ally himself with Rock to get rid of Foley. Take a guess as to what happens next. The double teaming of HHH goes on for awhile and we go out to the floor. Foley hands Rock the bell but HHH ducks and the bell hits Foley in the head instead. Out of nowhere Mick finds the 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire, drawing a big pop from the crowd.

HHH gets a low blow to save himself and gets the 2×4 for a shot to Foley’s ribs. Rock back in now and the 2×4 is dropped to the floor. Rock is sent to the floor and Foley gets a double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Mr. Socko time and the Claw goes on. Rock grabs the belt and blasts HHH so he can set for the People’s Elbow. Surprisingly though Foley grabs the Claw on Rock, only for the Rock N Sock Connection to take a double low blow to put all three down.

Rock vs. Foley for a bit now as Foley gets some near falls with the double arm DDT getting the closest one. Vince slid a chair in earlier but Foley gets it. Rock kicks it into his face though and then hammers away. He gets a DDT on Foley but HHH breaks it up, causing confusion from the announcers. Foley makes a deal with HHH to get rid of the Rock and the double team is on to huge booing.

Out to the floor where the double teaming continues. Mick gets reversed and his knees crash into the stairs. Those same stairs are rammed into the head of the Rock by Foley to keep Rock down. Rock is put on the Spanish Announce Table so Foley can go to the middle rope for the elbow. The problem is that he couldn’t jump that well and slams chest first into the side of the table, legitimately injuring his sternum.

HHH gets all mad and drops two jumping elbows onto Rock to break him through the table. Back in the ring Foley takes the Pedigree for a long two and a big pop. HHH shoves the referee down and then kills Foley with a chair to the head. Pedigree on the chair and Foley didn’t wrestle again for four years. Rock vs. HHH now for the title, but do you really think Foley is leaving that easily? He comes back and blasts HHH in the head with the barbed wire so that Rock can get two.

Rock clotheslines HHH to the floor and remember it has to end by pinfall. Out to the floor now and we go up the aisle. Rock gets a suplex up by the entrance in a cool looking crash landing. All Rock here. Into the crowd they go and then it’s back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH pops him with a chair so that the steps hit Rock in the head and fall on his chest. HHH hammers the steps with the chair. A Piledriver on the steps kills Rock but only gets two back in the ring. Big pop for that kickout.

Both finishers are countered with the Pedigree being backdropped to the floor. We go into the crowd again as it’s pretty clear they’re killing time before the finish. Back to the ring area and HHH smacks the hat off the head of an annoying fan. Spinebuster (called a takedown by Ross) on the floor by Rock puts both guys down.

We head to the announce table with Rock suplexing HHH onto the English announce table. You can tell it’s a big match when the American table is busted too. HHH gets a drop toehold to the steps to put Rock down. For some reason he gets in HHH’s face and Vince kicks some Game. Shane is back now and beats down Vince a bit.

Shane hits Vince in the head with a monitor and the look on Stephanie’s face that we cut to is perhaps the most unintentionally funny things you will ever see on WWE television. Stephanie is a lot of things. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy, she’s a great TV character, but she cannot act to save her life and this is one of those instances. She looks like the guy from Troll 2 if that gives you any indication of how stupid she looks here.

Anyway, Vince somehow pops up from a monitor shot to the head within 20 seconds and goes after Shane. Keep in mind that this sequence, which has gone on for like two minutes now, is happening during THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA. Yes, The Rock vs. HHH, perhaps the greatest feud of the Attitude Era other than Vince vs. Austin and the feud that would carry the comfpany to unthought of levels in 2000 isn’t enough as we need to focus on the McMahons and their drama. This is why this match and show are considered weak: it was about the McMahons and that’s it.

Shane manages to crack Vince’s head with the chair to put him down. They’ve literally not had the camera on HHH or Rock or the ring for three minutes now. They’re in the ring salsa dancing for all I know. Vince is busted open and taken to the back. There’s a trickle of blood which JR is saying is flowing by the quart.

HOLY CRAP IT’S WRESTLING TIME! Rock hammers on HHH and gets a DDT for two. Rock gets a slam for two as Shane has a chair on the floor. HHH gets a facebuster and drills Rock in the head with the 2×4. Shane in now but the reversed Pedigree sends HHH flying into Shane. Rock Bottom but Rock is spent. Shane is up with the chair now but here’s Vince as AGAIN it’s all about the McMahons. Shane goes down, Vince gets the chair, turns on Rock (SHOCKING!), chair to Rock, kick out, HHH gets the chair and drills Rock with it for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well let’s see. First of all, WAY too much focus on the McMahons. Second, this should have been Rock vs. HHH. That’s all there is to it. Also, a fatal fourway elimination match in the main event of Wrestlemania? That sounds like something from a video game. Also, when does a heel win in the main event of Wrestlemania? It’s supposed to be a feel good moment and that simply didn’t happen here. No clue what they were thinking here but it didn’t work like at all.

Vince and Stephanie reunite post match. Rock gets up and all three McMahons take Rock Bottoms. Stephanie gets a People’s Elbow after hers and it looked like Rock grabbed a bit of something when he was getting up for it.

Overall Rating: D. This was….bad. The show itself is mostly watch, but THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA. This isn’t Judgment Day….scratch that as Judgment Day in 2000 was great. This isn’t some WCW show where watchable is a good night. WWF was incredible in 2000 and this is probably the weakest show of the year by far.

I have no idea what the thought process was here but it certainly didn’t work at all. There are two good matches here and more importantly, not one singles match. What the heck were they thinking here? That’s a very good question that I don’t think has ever gotten an answer. Terrible show overall and it just didn’t work, especially for Mania.

 

 

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Revolution 2021: Bang, In Really Small Letters

Revolution 2021
Date: March 7, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Excalibur, Jim Ross

There is something rather pleasing about having another AEW pay per view. The company has such a great track record with these things and it should be awesome to see what they can do again. The main event is an exploding barbed wire deathmatch because….I have no idea why but it is certainly going to get them some attention. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Britt Baker/Rebel vs. Riho/Thunder Rosa

Hold on though as Rebel has been attacked (she’s on crutches so it must be true) so we have a replacement.

Pre-Show: Britt Baker/Maki Itoh vs. Riho/Thunder Rosa

Itoh sings her own entrance song rather loudly. Riho takes Baker down by the arm to start so it’s quickly off to the rope. Some dropkicks rock Baker and there’s a headscissors to put Baker down again. Rosa comes in to armbar Itoh down and it’s switched into a crossface. With that broken up, Rosa wins an exchange of forearms and Itoh starts to cry. A stomp to Rosa’s boot just makes her shoulder Itoh down and she drops Itoh face first onto the turnbuckle.

Riho comes in and gets dropped down onto Itoh for two of her own. Back up and they slug it out until Baker pulls Riho to the floor, where Rebel is suddenly fine enough to send her into the steps. Itoh misses a falling headbutt back inside so it’s back to Baker to stomp away. A missed charge allows the tag off to Rosa so house can be cleaned. The running backsplash gets two on Baker but a Sling Blade drops Rosa.

Now Itoh’s falling headbutt gets two but Rosa is right back with a Stunner. Itoh hits a tornado DDT for two so she goes up top, only to miss the falling headbutt. Riho comes back in and charges into a half crab from Itoh, meaning a rope has to be grabbed. Another headbutt is blocked with a shot to the head and it’s quickly back to Rosa vs. Baker for the exchange of rollups. Baker runs into Rebel by mistake and walks into the Death Valley Driver with Itoh making the save. Rebel gets in a crutch shot to Rosa to give Baker the pin at 14:52.

Rating: C+. It was certainly energetic and fast paced and it was quite nice to see Baker get the win. The Rebel swap was fine as Itoh certainly has a lot of charisma, though I’m not sure how long she is going to be around here. If it is a one off appearance then great, but I’d hope it isn’t someone else in the way of Baker getting her overdue Women’s Title.

The opening video looks at the big matches.

Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. Chris Jericho/MJF

The Bucks are defending and jump Jericho and MJF to start and hammer them out to the floor. Jericho and MJF send them together but stop to brag a bit, allowing the Bucks to take them down with stereo dives. The Bucks grab stereo Sharpshooters until the ropes are grabbed so Nick heads up top. This time Jericho is ready for it and hits the triangle dropkick to send him outside to take over.

Back in and a flapjack lets Jericho and MJF mock the Bucks’ pose. Nick flips over and slides between the legs to make the hot tag to Matt. The house cleaning doesn’t even get past the first room as MJF takes him down and gets in a Fargo Strut. Jericho hits a suplex as JR’s voice sounds like it is about to go out. A double suplex gets two on Matt and we hit the chinlock. Matt fights up but gets sent back into the corner, where he comes out with a double DDT.

It’s back to Nick to pick the pace way up, including the slingshot Canadian Destroyer for two on MJF. Everything breaks down with Matt hammering away at Jericho, who reverses into the Walls. That’s broken up so the Meltzer Driver is loaded up, only to have Jericho reverse into a Tombstone. Now the Walls can go on in full until Jericho stops to drag it back to the middle, allowing Matt to slip out. A missed charge in the corner crotches Jericho so MJF comes back in to counter a hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for two.

MJF gets rather cocky so Matt scoops him up for the Meltzer Driver, only to have Jericho hit the Codebreaker on Nick for the save. A Floyd the baseball bat sets up the Heatseeker for two on Matt and MJF is stunned. It’s back to Nick so the Bucks can hit stereo high crossbodies for two each. Jericho’s Judas Effect hits Wardlow by mistake but the Lionsault is superkicked out of the air. The BTE Trigger gets two as MJF makes the save, earning himself a trip to the floor. The Meltzer Driver finishes Jericho at 17:50.

Rating: B-. They did a nice job of making me buy into the drama off the Heatseeker so they had to be doing something right. There wasn’t much of a reason to believe new champions were coming here but they did a nice enough job of changing my mind throughout. Good opener, though it went on a little longer than it should have.

Post match we run down the card, with JR apologizing for how bad his voice sounds (fair enough as he sounds horrible).

Casino Battle Royale

It’s a tag team Royal Rumble with 15 teams announced coming in. There are ninety second intervals and both members have to be eliminated, with the winners becoming #1 contenders. At least they have the casino game to validate the gambling theme this time. The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes/QT Marshall) are in at #1 and the Dark Order (5/10) are in at #2 and the brawling is on in a hurry. Dustin snaps off the powerslam on 5 but Marshall is caught in a fall away slam/running dropkick combination. A double bulldog takes the Order down and it’s Santana/Ortiz in at #3.

House is cleaned but the Order knocks them both down. Marshall tosses 5 for the first elimination and has to hang on when 10 tries to toss him out as well. The Sydal Brothers are in at #4 and we get everyone brawling again with no one being tossed. The ring is getting a little full and the Dark Order (Evil Uno/Stu Grayson) are in at #5 to make it even more crowded. Everyone in the Dark Order teams up on Santana for a toss powerbomb and 10 adds a spinebuster. Mike Sydal was tossed in there somewhere so things are a little less full. The Gunn Club (Austin/Colton) are in at #6 and get to clean house for a bit.

The Quick Draw takes Santana down and Matt Sydal is out for the first full team elimination. Peter Avalon/Cezar Bononi are in at #7 and get in their own share of house cleaning. With no more eliminations, the Varsity Blonds (Brian Pillman Jr./Griff Garrison) are in at #8. The Gunn Club starts taking over with Peter Avalon being tossed. Bononi is in trouble but Marshall dumps both of them (despite them being part of the Nightmare Family). Dustin yells at him but Marshall eliminates himself and walks out as Bear Country (Bronson/Boulder, who I’ve never actually seen in the ring before) are in at #9.

A big boot to Grayson is enough for the Bears to toss him and Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy/Luchasaurus) is in at #10. Jungle Boy clotheslines Ortiz out and Luchasaurus does the same to Bononi to get rid of another team. There go Garrison, Santana and Evil Uno all at the Express’ hands and Butcher and the Blade are in at #11. The rest of the Dark Order is out thanks to interference from Jack Evans, leaving us with Dustin, Bear Country, the Jurassic Express and Butcher and Blade. Bunny gets involved and pulls Dustin out to get us down to six at the moment.

Private Party (Marq Quen/Isaiah Kassidy) are in at #12 to make it eight people at once and more brawling ensues. Stunt saves Pillman from being tossed it’s SCU (Christopher Daniels/Kazarian) in at #13. Luchasaurus breaks up their house cleaning but Bear Country tosses him out. Butcher dumps both Bears thanks to a Bunny distraction, only to have the two of them pull Butcher underneath the ropes to beat the heck out of him.

Rey Fenix and Pac are in at #14 to wreck a bunch of people and toss Quen and Blade. The brawling continues until the Dark Order (John Silver/Alex Reynolds are in at #15 to complete the field. Some rapid fire eliminations leave us with Fenix, Pac, Silver and Boy, leaving us with three teams over four entrants. Silver is almost tossed but manages to hang on with one hand and Fenix has to do the same. Pac and Silver slug it out with Silver kicking him up against the ropes but missing a charge into the snap German suplex.

Pac tosses Silver to the apron and Fenix walks the rope to kick him in the head for the elimination. Boy can barely get up but he manages to duck Pac’s kick to the head and low bridge him to the floor. That leaves Fenix vs. Boy in the staredown with Boy being knocked through the ropes to the floor in a hurry. Fenix hits a heck of a flip dive but Boy is right back with a clothesline back inside. There’s the poisonrana but Fenix kicks him in the head and tosses him out for the win at 26:47.

Rating: C+. I’m never sure how to rate these but they kept things moving quickly enough to keep it from being boring. That’s the key to something like this as while the ring got too full more than once, it was cleared out in a hurry near the end, which is what matters most. Fenix and Pac winning is the right call and it’s rather impressive that they are such a good team despite being thrown together. Good enough stuff here and the right team won.

Paul Wight says the big signing is here and gives us a hint: no one can out work him.

Diamond Dallas Page and Al Snow are here.

We recap Ryo Mizunami vs. Hikaru Shida for the Women’s Title. Mizunami was ready to retire until she showed up at Double Or Nothing and it revitalized her career. She won the #1 contenders tournament and is ready to go for the title.

Women’s Title: Hikaru Shida vs. Ryo Mizunami

Shida is defending and gets knocked into the corner early on. The chops have Shida in trouble but she sends Ryo face first into the buckle and hits her own chops. Ryo chops away even more until Shida sends her into the corner for a running knee. Another running knee gets two but Ryo counters the running knee off the chair into a powerbomb over the barricade.

Back in and Ryo hammers away until Shida gets in a kick to the face out of the corner. The missile dropkick gets two on Ryo so Shida takes her to the ramp for a sunset driver. Shida smiles a lot and takes her back inside for two off a suplex. They strike it out until Ryo nails a few clotheslines to take over. Shida hits some running knees to the face but can’t cover. They grab hands and get up for another slugout until Ryo hits a Rock Bottom.

The guillotine legdrop gets two so Shida snaps off a straitjacket suplex, with Ryo popping back up for a screaming clothesline. Another running knee sets up the Falcon Arrow for two on Ryo and a poke to the eye sets up a small package for the same. The running knee connects but Ryo reverses into a rollup for two more. Shida hits an enziguri for two more and she tries another Falcon Arrow…which looked to be countered into a DDT but seemed to be swung into a Rock Bottom to plant Rio instead. Another running knee gets two on Ryo, followed by another knee to retain the title at 15:46.

Rating: C-. I’m so sick of Shida with her 917 running knees offense mixed in with some Falcon Arrows to spice it up a bit. She has been champion for almost ten months now and it feels like she has had the same match throughout her reign. I didn’t get into this for the most part as a good bit of the work was sloppy and the abundance of knees had me begging for the thing to be over. Shida needs to drop the title almost immediately and the sooner it is to Baker, the better.

Post match Nyla Rose, Britt Baker and Rebel run in to jump Shida and Ryo but Thunder Rosa makes the save, likely setting up a six woman on Dynamite.

Miro and Kip Sabian jump Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy in the back but demand the music be played anyway. Taylor is busted open thanks to going into some glass and is dragged to the ring as Miro calls him Charles over and over. Miro offers him the chance to let it stop but Taylor says ring the bell.

Miro/Kip Sabian vs. Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy

There is no Cassidy and Taylor is clotheslined down in a hurry. Miro rubs Taylor’s blood on his chest and Sabian is in with a missile dropkick. Chuck is sent into the corner for a boot to the face and another dropkick from Sabian makes it worse. Taylor gets in a shot to the face as Cassidy staggers to the ring. Well part of the way as he falls down on the stage on the way there.

Cassidy pops up to Orange Punch Miro and Taylor knocks Sabian down, allowing Cassidy to get the hot tag. Everything breaks down with Cassidy hitting a dive onto Sabian but getting caught in a fireman’s carry gutbuster. The Deathly Hallows is broken up and Taylor tags himself in for a Beach Break/double stomp combination. A piledriver gets two on Sabian with Miro having to make a save.

Cassidy puts his hands in his pockets for the slow motion kicks to Miro (of course), who kicks him down (as you should). Cassidy is back with the Stundog Millionaire but is driven into Penelope Ford to knock her to the floor. Miro kicks Cassidy in the head and throws Sabian back inside so Miro can make the tag. The jumping kick to the face sets up Game Over to finish Taylor at 7:54.

Rating: D+. Now can we please move them both on to ANYTHING else? Miro getting the win makes sense, but I hope this isn’t setting up some Miro vs. Cassidy showdown. The match needed to be this short after everything else has felt long and thankfully they didn’t do anything stupid here like giving Cassidy a fluke pin. They need to move on though if they want to make Miro into something important as it isn’t happening against Taylor and Cassidy.

MJF and Chris Jericho aren’t happy with their loss so on Wednesday it is the Inner Circle War Council, when changes are coming. MJF seems to suggest that Jericho may be in trouble.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Hangman Page. Hardy wants to be Page’s manager/agent but Page tricked him into signing a contract where the winner gets the loser’s income for the first three months of the year. I’ve heard far worse ideas.

Matt Hardy vs. Hangman Page

Private Party is here with Hardy. Page ducks a right hand and hammers away in the corner as commentary talks about how Hardy has been wrestling almost as long as Page has been alive. There’s a fall away slam to Matt and they head outside with Page hitting an ax handle off part of the stage. Back in and Matt bails straight to the floor again, where he sends Page’s arm into the post.

The hand is wrapped around the post and sent into the steps with commentary wisely pointing out that it’s the Buckshot Lariat arm. Back in and Hardy bites the finger before bending the fingers back again. Page fights up and uses the right hand without thinking, which makes it even worse. The springboard clothesline puts Hardy down but the bad arm keeps Page down too. Hardy grabs a Twist of Fate on the floor and Page has to beat the count at nine.

Back in and Hardy German suplexes him off the top for two but Page is back up with a shot to the face. A clothesline puts them both on the floor as the fans are VERY into Hardy. Page is up first with a moonsault to take Hardy down again, followed by a sliding clothesline back inside. Deadeye is broken up and Hardy takes him down with a neckbreaker. Hardy catches him on top with a Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two more but the Twist of Fate is countered into the Deadeye.

That draws up Private Party for the distraction with Page having to get rid of both of them. The Buckshot Lariat is countered into the Side Effect (that looked good) and the Twist of Fate gets two (with commentary spoiling the kickout by shouting about how Matt is going to do it). Cue the Dark Order (all six members of them, which is not evening the odds as Excalibur calls it) to take care of Private Party, allowing Page to hit the Buckshot Lariat for the pin at 14:57.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I would have bet on, though the fans at ringside screaming for Hardy every two seconds were rather pesky. They went with the only result they could have chosen so at least nothing went too far here. Page with the Dark Order intrigues me, but I’d rather they keep it this way instead of him joining in full.

Post match Dark Order and Page celebrate with some beer.

Video on the Face Of The Revolution ladder match for a TNT Title shot on Wednesday and with a mystery entrant.

Max Castor vs. Lance Archer vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Penta El Cero Miedo vs. Scorpio Sky vs. ???

Ladder match and the mystery entrant is…Ethan Page. Eh works for me. It’s a brawl to start with various people being knocked outside. Archer grabs a ladder to hit Cody in the bad shoulder and hit Sky and Castor in the head. Penta kicks Archer down and hits the Sling Blade but gets caught with by Sky’s German suplex. Castor comes in to clear the ring but here is Jack Evans with the boom box, only to have Dark Order’s 10 run out to take care of him (because a six man ladder match needs another story going on).

The ladder is set up and Page kicks Cody down to get rid of him. Castor starts hitting everyone with the boom box, including a few shots to Cody’s bad shoulder. Penta uses the ladder for a ramp to flip dive onto Cody and Castor. Archer dropkicks Penta to the floor but Page is back in to tie Archer up in the ladder. Page can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl side slam on Sky so he settles for Splash Mountain to drop Sky onto the ladder onto Archer.

Said ladder is bridged between the ring and the barricade so let’s bring in another one. Cody has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Penta off the ladder but Penta is right back up with the Canadian Destroyer to drive Cody into the bridged ladder. That’s enough for Cody to be taken to the back (or at least to the entrance of the tunnel) as Sky pulls Castor off the ladder. Castor and Sky are up at the same time but Archer and Page join them. Everyone gets knocked off with Penta being up first for some kicking.

Sky pulls Penta down for the big crash, leaving Page and Castor to slug it out on the ladders again. Castor hits a huge sunset bomb to bring him down but Sky puts Castor onto the ladder in a crash. The frog splash crushes Castor onto the ladder and everyone is down again. Archer catapults Sky onto the ladder but then has to pull him back down. A jumping knee knocks Sky off the apron and through another ladder at ringside to put him way down.

Penta is back up to clean house but here’s Cody to whip a bunch of people with the belt. Archer suplexes Cody onto the bad arm and Castor adds an elbow drop off of the ladder to keep Cody down. Archer shoves the ladder over to take out Penta and Castor, followed by a string of chokeslams. The Black Out onto the ladder knocks Castor silly but Page powerbombs Archer off of the ladder.

That brings Jake Roberts in for a clothesline to Page but Penta kicks Roberts down. Cody is back up with the Cody….uh, slap to the face this time, to bring Penta off the ladder. Penta is right back up to take Cody off of the ladder but Sky cleans house with a chair. Cody and Sky slug it out on top of the ladder, with Sky being smart enough to pull on the bad arm. Cody gets knocked down and Sky wins at 23:16.

Rating: B. This was the spot fest that it needed to be and I’m rather pleased with Sky winning. Not just because I picked him to win, but also because he is the kind of smooth wrestler who can have a good match against anyone. Now they need to actually do something with him, because it feels like the kind of spot we have been in with him more than once before.

It’s time for the big signing and….yeah it’s Christian Cage. Cool moment as he was just in the Rumble, but dang I wanted to see Edge and Christian vs. the Usos. Christian signs without saying or doing anything else.

We recap Sting/Darby Allin vs. Team Taz. Allin has been getting on Team Taz’s nerves so they beat him up multiple times. Then Sting showed up to even the odds, meaning it’s cinematic match time.

Team Taz vs. Darby Allin/Sting

We go cinematic in a warehouse, with Allin hitching a ride on the back of a truck ala Back to the Future. Sting and Allin have an army of people in face paint to accompany them and we’re actually in a ring. Allin gets thrown over the top so he bounces off of a wall and back into the ring (Tony: “LIKE SPIDER!”) to drop Cage. They’re out of the ring in a hurry with Cage powerbombing one of the masked men against the apron. Cage drags Allin away from the ring as Sting hits the Stinger Splash on Starks.

A big camera zoom takes us across the building to Allin slipping out of a powerbomb attempt. Cage throws him through some doors as another Stinger Splash hits Starks. They leave the ring too with Sting grabbing the bat to chase Starks away. Starks says Sting is nothing without the bat so Sting throws it down and beats on Starks without it. We go back to Cage picking up Allin for a suplex and walking him up a flight of stairs (because he can just do that).

Back to Starks beating up Sting and throwing a barrel at his knees. Cage hits Starks in the head by mistake though and Allin is back with a bottle to Cage’s head. A double chokeslam puts Cage through a table and there’s a Coffin Drop off of a post to take Allin down. Cue Powerhouse Hobbs and Hook to beat Allin down and a big toss sends him through a window. Sting gets kicked in the ribs as JR says so much for this being a tag match.

With Sting in trouble, Allin pops up and throw him a bat (across the building and down a floor), which Sting breaks over Cage’s back. Allin then dives off of a balcony through Cage through part of the floor, leaving Starks and Sting to go back to the ring. The Stinger Splash hits exposed buckle and Starks spears him for two. Back up and Starks misses an elbow, setting up the Scorpion Death Drop to finish Starks at 13:49.

Rating: B. Your taste is going to entirely depend on what you think of cinematic matches so this could be quite the range of ratings. I’m not wild on the idea, but I would absolutely prefer this to a regular match for Sting. Starks taking the fall is frustrating but this is kind of a special circumstance. I know Sting isn’t going to be a regular wrestler and while he didn’t look bad here, he doesn’t need to be doing this very often.

Double Or Nothing is in May.

We run down the Dynamite card.

We recap Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega in an exploding barbed wire deathmatch. Moxley won’t leave Omega alone so he is picking this as a way to get rid of Moxley for good. Atsushi Onita talks about how dangerous the match is and violence is promised.

AEW World Title: Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega

Omega is defending and there is barbed wire everywhere. If you touch the barbed wire ropes something explodes, and if we go thirty minutes EVERYTHING EXPLODES. Don Callis in on commentary and the referee is in something resembling a hazmat suit. Moxley takes a shot of whiskey during the Big Match Intros and we’re ready to go. They take their time going to the lockup and Moxley blocks a drive into a barbed wire board in the corner. They chop it out until Omega grabs a headlock and Moxley can’t even suplex his way out of it.

Neither is able to send the other into the barbed wire board so Moxley sends him outside through the one section with no barbed wire. A Russian legsweep with a barbed wire baseball bat takes Omega down and there’s a kendo stick shot to the back. Back in and Omega throws powder into the eyes, meaning Moxley needs to blindly swing the barbed wire bat. Moxley is sent into the barbed wire for the first explosion for two.

Some kendo stick shots have Moxley in trouble and the Kitaro Crusher through a trashcan gets two. Back up and the rather bloody Moxley is sent into the barbed wire board in the corner, setting up Omega’s middle rope moonsault for two. Schiavone: “We have exactly twenty minutes before this ring explodes.” Moxley sends him into the ropes for an explosion and then dropkicks him into them for another.

Back up and Moxley suplexes Omega through another barbed wire board in the corner but a Paradigm Shift onto a barbed wire chair is blocked. Moxley sends Omega flying with a German suplex and a side slam onto the barbed wire chair has Omega in a lot of pain. The barbed wire is wrapped around Moxley’s arm but the running lariat is countered into a dragon suplex.

The V Trigger gets two and Moxley drives him into the wire, with the explosion going off in Omega’s face. They head to the apron for a slugout until Moxley hits a Paradigm Shift through the barbed wire board for a double explosion. They’re both down for a long time until Moxley pulls the wire off of the board. They get back in and we get a noise signaling that we are ten minutes away from the big explosions.

Omega gets in a low blow and there’s a V Trigger in the corner. Make that two in a row and the One Winged Angel gets two as Moxley puts his foot on the ropes for the explosion (clever). Cue the Good Brothers to beat on Moxley and an exploding barbed wire bat to the face gets two. The One Winged Angel through the chair retains the title at 25:09.

Rating: D+. For a barbed wire street fight, it was pretty good (assuming you don’t find “yeah he used barbed wire, but now he’s going to use MORE barbed wire” to be a rather dumb idea), but for something built around THE RING MIGHT EXPLODE, this was rather disappointing. The match was built around the danger and I was laughing when some sparklers and smoke went off. Throw in how ridiculous the barbed wire stuff was and this was horrible. Make it a regular barbed wire match and it’s FAR better, but the explosions being such a joke killed it.

Post match the beatdown stays on as we’re told the ring is going to explode no matter what because THERE IS NO FAIL SAFE. As I try to figure out why that would be a feature, Omega handcuffs Moxley’s hands behind his back and the big beatdown ensues as we kill off the last of the thirty minutes.

The one minute countdown is on and the handcuffed Moxley is in the ring. Eddie Kingston comes in to try and get him out….and a bit of pyro goes of around the ring. The pyro from the corners was smaller than what would come up during Diesel’s entrance and the stuff at ringside was even weaker. This was pathetic, and Kingston actually selling it makes things even worse. I actually can’t remember the last time I saw something so disappointing and it is going to be a rather black eye for AEW for a good while.

Overall Rating: C. There were some good parts to the show but I’m rather disappointed by the whole thing. It didn’t have anything that was must see, it felt rather long and then the ending was an all time letdown. Christian signing is cool and the cinematic match was good, but this is going to be remembered for one or two things and that’s it. They went too far with the build and now it is going to cause them trouble.

The ending was a good example of one of AEW’s biggest problems: they have to do too much. The main event ended with a One Winged Angel THROUGH A CHAIR. You could put Moxley on the shelf for three months with that and it would have been fine. But no, we need to (allegedly) blow up the ring because a move you could say broke his neck isn’t enough. That’s something they do far too often and it hurts them. I’m really disappointed and I don’t like that feeling with what is usually one of the best products out there.

If you ever needed proof that AEW needs someone to say no sometimes, this is it. One of the things that a lot of people were saying was it was going to be ridiculous and they were hyping it up too much because that’s over the top. Well this is what we wound up with because AN EXPLODING RING is kind of a stupid idea. Tony Khan needed to say no and just let them have the barbed wire match and move on. They’ll be fine in a bit after this, but this was a step back for them and that is a new situation for them to be in.

Results

Young Bucks b. Chris Jericho/MJF – Meltzer Driver to Jericho

Rey Fenix/Pac won the Casino Battle Royale last eliminating Jungle Boy

Hikaru Shida b. Ryo Mizunami – Running knee

Miro/Kip Sabian b. Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy – Game Over to Taylor

Hangman Page b. Matt Hardy – Buckshot Lariat

Scorpio Sky won the Face Of The Revolution ladder match

Sting/Darby Allin b. Team Taz – Scorpion Death Drop to Starks

Kenny Omega b. Jon Moxley – One Winged Angel through a chair

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Revolution 2021 Preview

It has been a few months now and in AEW’s world, that means it is time for another pay per view. There is something very, very refreshing about that as I don’t need a pay per view every month and given that AEW’s worst ever pay per view was still completely watchable, we should be in for something good here. The card isn’t the strongest but they know how to execute so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Riho/Thunder Rosa vs. Britt Baker/Rebel

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Baker was eliminated from the #1 contenders tournament like it was absolutely nothing, but then again the women’s division has been kind of a mess. I can’t picture a world in which Baker is not Women’s Champion before the end of the year though and I think that road might be starting sooner than expected.

That being said, I’ll go with Riho/Rosa here, as AEW is likely going to want to reheat Riho after her tournament loss. Baker needs it too, but I’m not sure I can picture them going with her over some of the other options. Baker is going to be over no matter what because she is so awesome at so many different things, though I don’t think that equals a win here. Riho and Rosa win, hopefully pinning Rebel if they have to.

Women’s Title: Hikaru Shida(c) vs. Ryo Mizunami

This is the result of the weeks long international #1 contenders tournament (because reasons) and the big result is a match that was set up years ago….in another promotion….in Japan. That’s about all of the explanation we have been given, as Mizunami has barely been around the company, but what does that matter when she has done some great things elsewhere that we might not have seen or even heard of in the first place?

I’ll take Shida here, even though her title reign is LONG overdue and she needs to drop the thing already. However, I’m not sure Mizunami is the best choice as we don’t know anything about her other than she and Shida were once partners. This match should be fine, but it isn’t something I’m going to have that much interest in given what we have had to build it up so far.

Miro/Kip Sabian vs. Orange Cassidy/Chuck Taylor

This feud has been going for a few months now and I’m still not quite sure I get the appeal. Miro has lost any momentum he had on the way into the company, Sabian has pretty much disappeared, Taylor is Taylor and Cassidy was upset that someone was forced to say they weren’t friends. How that sets up an important pay per view match is beyond me, but that’s what we have here.

For the sake of hope, I’ll go with Sabian/Miro here, as the two of them really need a win to build up some momentum. It helps that they have gotten away from the gaming thing for the most part but that doesn’t exactly leave them with much to go on. This feud has been a rather dull way to go but AEW seems to love all of them (some are a good bit more valuable than others) and here we are. Miro and Sabian win, as they certainly need it more.

Casino Tag Team Royale

What is with this company’s gambling obsession? Anyway, this is basically a tag team Royal Rumble for a future title shot and they have fifteen teams announced so far. Battle royals (and they have a lot of them around here) are hard to predict as you can get anyone into the title shot in a hurry, which makes them kind of hard to predict. That means you can go a lot of different ways so it’s kind of a guess as to who is winning.

I’ll take Rey Fenix/Pac to win, as that squash on Wednesday was more than enough to make me think they are next in line for a shot at the titles. If nothing else, watching those two beat each other up with the dives can be rather entertaining television and it isn’t like a lot of the teams have a realistic chance in the first place. Pac and Fenix win, but this could go in a lot of different directions.

Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks(c) vs. Chris Jericho/MJF

This started off as an interesting feud but then fell apart in a hurry. The whole thing with the Bucks’ father (and their insult to Jericho that makes them sound rather dumb once you think about it) wasn’t good but it’s all they have. You would think Jericho and MJF could talk anything into being interesting but for some reason they haven’t been able to make it work. It could be the Bucks being the least likable faces in a long time, but the match should work out better than the build.

Of course the Bucks win here, as it’s hard to imagine them losing those titles for a very long time to come. The Bucks are major stars in AEW and it makes sense to have them in the title picture. Jericho and MJF seem destined to be on a collision course somewhere down the road and I can’t imagine them winning or even needing the titles to make that story work. The Bucks retain here, as they should.

Face Of The Revolution Ladder Match

This is for a TNT Title shot because, much like kidnappings, battle royals, tournaments and gambling, this company loves ladder matches for title shots. The big question here is who fills in the final spot and I have no idea who that might be. Christian seems to be the fancy pick at the moment, but I don’t want to see someone with a history of concussions in a match this violent.

As for a winner, I’m going with some instinct and picking Scorpio Sky, though you never know with something like this. It’s hard to predict a match when you don’t even have the full field but this makes for a nice build for the drama alone. I’m not overly sure about Sky winning, but he certainly makes for an interesting option and I’ll go with that for the win here.

Hangman Page vs. Matt Hardy

This is for the loser’s income for the first three months of the year and my goodness I cannot bring myself to care about Hardy. The character is interesting enough but as soon as I hear the Hardy name attached, all of the positives are overshadowed. The match itself should work as Page is charismatic enough to get around anything, but fighting over money with Hardy sounds like the result of a bad lawsuit instead of an angle.

Again for the sake of my sanity I’ll hope for Page to win here, as there is little reason to go with Hardy. Page having some more money and Hardy being broke or needing more clients is a better story, though I’m not sure how far anything is going to take these two. Hardy doesn’t need to win here but I’m a bit scared that he might anyway, just due to his star power and name value. Still though, Page should win.

Sting/Darby Allin vs. Team Taz

It’s cinematic time and that is the best thing they could do with Sting. I know he handled the powerbomb well enough (as in he was perfectly fine a week later) but he really doesn’t need to be in a full on match. The cinematic matches aren’t my favorite but if they have to have Sting wrestle (and it is hard not to), this is absolutely the right way to go about doing it.

I’m actually not sure who to pick here, as Team Taz needs the win more, but you don’t want to have either the debuting legend or the champion losing. It really could go either way but I’ll take Sting and Allin to win as they make for the better story. Sting can put someone over later and Allin is going to have a new #1 contender so he isn’t going to need to deal with taking a loss here.

AEW World Title: Kenny Omega(c) vs. Jon Moxley

When Omega announced this as the Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch, I completely expected him to laugh and say “nah I’m kidding, it’s a cage match”. This is as over the top as you can get and feels like they are doing it because Tony Khan looked at his tape collection and decided what he felt like doing today. I get the reason for the stipulation in the end, but there are a bunch of ways to get there without going this direction.

Omega wins here, as the entire point of the match would seem to be to blow Moxley up so he goes away while his wife has their baby. That’s all well and good and the match will probably have some good drama/violence/action, but I’d be curious to know how many people aren’t going to watch or pay or pay for the show because of how ridiculous the stipulation is. I know it isn’t a majority, but there are going to be some out there because this is pretty insane and not in the best way.

Overall Thoughts

AEW has done an excellent job in their first year and a half because this show isn’t very appealing match by match but it’s an AEW pay per view and therefore it has my interest. They have done rather well at pay per views over their lifespan and the reputation is enough to carry this thing. That’s a rare place to be and if things here even exceed expectations by a little bit, everything should be more than fine.

 

Oh and the big signing.  Eh play it safe and go with Kurt Angle.

 

 

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Dynamite – February 10, 2021: Revolution Road

Dynamite
Date: February 10, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

We’re still starting to get on the road to Revolution and that means we might find out a few more matches on the way there. The big story from last week was the surprise debut of Kenta, who signals the new relationship with New Japan Pro Wrestling. That could certainly lead in a few different directions so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

TNT Title: Joey Janela vs. Darby Allin

Allin is defending and we actually hear about a PWG match between the two of them. Feeling out process to start with Darby sending him arm first into the corner. Joey knocks him to the floor for the suicide elbow and laughs a lot. Back in and Joey grabs a bodyscissors with some bonus fishhooks to the jaw. Allin fights up and sends Janela to the apron, only to get caught with a shot to the eye. Back in and Allin nails a shotgun dropkick into the corner and then snaps the arm down onto the top rope.

Janela gets knocked outside for the suicide dive into the barricade for the big crash. They head inside again with Allin grabbing the Fujiwara armbar to send Janela over to the ropes. Allin’s springboard Coffin Drop is countered into a German suplex (that looked good) but Allin flips around to hit a Stunner for two. Janela is right back with a piledriver for two, followed by a trio to the top. Allin cranks on the arm up top and hits a super sunset bomb for another near fall. The Coffin Drop retains the title at 8:49.

Rating: C+. I’m still not big on Janela but they got into a nice groove with the trading big spots by the end. Throw in Allin’s complete lack of worry about hurting himself for the sake of a spot and it works out well enough. The lack of Team Taz hurt a bit as they kept talking about it, but at least it let Allin look better without some kind of shenanigans.

We look back at Kenta’s debut and preview the rest of the show.

Jon Moxley is used to Kenta calling him out and last week Kenta showed up to look like a dork. Kenta and Kenny Omega must have gotten together on some Bullet Club message board and decided to come after him. They’ll meet later this month but tonight it’s unsanctioned with Moxley teaming up with Lance Archer to face the two of them. Tonight, it’s just for fun.

Sammy Guevara comes in to see the Inner Circle and asks to speak to Maxwell Jacob Friedman alone. Everyone leaves but Sammy wants the cameraman to stay. Sammy knows that MJF is trying to take over the Inner Circle but MJF has no idea what’s going on. When MJF first got into the Inner Circle, he thought Sammy was just jealous.

Now though, he understands that Sammy really hates Chris Jericho. Sammy must think that he should be the front man because Sammy wants to take over the Inner Circle. That leaves Sammy so incredulous that he repeats it, which is exactly what MJF, and his phone, wanted to hear. Sammy punches him in the ribs and leaves him laying.

Cody Rhodes/Lee Johnson vs. Cezar Bononi/Peter Avalon

Arn Anderson is here with Cody and Johnson, with Arn’s son in the crowd. JR: “His face looks like it belongs on a can of beef stew.” Cody works on Avalon’s arm to start and hands it off to Johnson, who is quickly headlocked. Bononi comes in off a blind tag and gets in a hard shot to drop Johnson. A moonsault lets Lee flip over Avalon and a dropkick scores as well. That’s enough to send Avalon over to Bononi again but a jawbreaker lets Lee make his own tag.

A pumphandle flip slam drops Cody on his face and we take a break. Back with Cody catching Avalon’s springboard in a fireman’s carry gutbuster. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Lee, who drops Avalon with a neckbreaker. One heck of a corkscrew flip dive takes Bononi down and a fisherman’s buster onto the knee gets two on Avalon as Bononi makes the save. Bononi cleans house and drops Lee face first, though he’s fine enough to grab a rollup for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C+. This was a way to showcase Lee and that worked out well enough. Having Cody interested in teaming with Lee is going to make him look even better so if they can make a new star out of him, well done. It’s not like Avalon and Bononi losing means anything either so no one is hurt here, meaning it’s a nice little success.

Post match the Nightmare Family comes out to celebrate Johnson’s first win in AEW, making him 1-29. The Nightmare Family is his family.

The Young Bucks run into the Good Brothers, who find it funny that the Bucks lost last week’s battle royal. The Bucks were going to pick the Good Brothers if they won but the Brothers are more interested in promoting Impact Wrestling’s No Surrender this weekend. As for around here though, the Brothers think the Bucks should be mad at Santana and Ortiz, so the Bucks agree to give Santana and Ortiz and title shot next week. Nick reluctantly gives a too sweet.

Matt Hardy interrupts Hangman Page and suggests a tag team. For tonight though, Matt has rented out a private bar for the two of them and the tab is on Matt all night long. That works for Page, who runs into the Dark Order. They offer him a spot drinking with them but he mentions Matt and things are cool enough.

Pac vs. Ryan Nemeth

Fenix is here with Pac. They circle each other to start and Pac knocks him down with ease. Some kicks have Nemeth in more trouble and Pac even knocks him to the floor. Back in and Nemeth does his best Dolph Ziggler impression with the jumping DDT. Pac isn’t exactly having that though and drops Nemeth again, setting up the Black Arrow. The Brutalizer makes Nemeth tap at 4:19.

Rating: C-. There’s something special about Pac giving up a bit of offense but just turning it on to win in the end because he knows there is no one that can stop him. Pac has shaken the ring rust off and looks like his old killer self again and that’s a great thing. Nemeth isn’t much in the ring and just makes me think he’s Ziggler’s lame little brother (I mean….).

We look back at last week’s zany wedding, with Miro swearing vengeance on Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor.

Cassidy and Taylor are drinking the champagne with Cassidy asking what they thought was going to happen last week. Taylor: “Obviously Orange Cassidy was going to pop out of a cake.”

MJF, now with taped ribs, comes up to Chris Jericho and says Sammy punched him in the ribs. There might have been some breaking involved! Jericho says it’s ok and they’ll deal with this after their match.

Acclaimed vs. Chris Jericho/MJF

Max Castor knocks MJF out to the floor to start, with the ribs getting banged up even more. Back in and Castor drops Jericho as well, setting up Anthony Bowens’ slingshot elbow. MJF comes back in but gets planted down on the ribs for two. Bowens is eventually taken into the corner though and it’s a double flapjack, allowing Jericho and MJF to step over him for a rather snobby moment.

Back from a break with Castor reversing MJF’s abdominal stretch into one of his own. That’s enough for the tag off to Bowens, who picks up the pace with dropkicks. Bowens grabs a torture rack and spins MJF down for a faceplant before having to knock Santana off the apron. Jericho’s Lionsault is broken up with a boom box shot for two but Jake Hager pushes Castor off the top. The Judas Effect finishes for Jericho at 9:05.

Rating: C. I haven’t been impressed by the Acclaim so far so it was nice to see them have a pretty decent match tonight. It’s even better to see that Jericho seems to be a little bit more motivated (and maybe a tad bit slimmer) as the Inner Circle continues to do something fresh. Good little match though and this worked out well enough.

Post match the Inner Circle celebrates but here’s Sammy Guevara to interrupt. Jericho asks him what’s going on, and Sammy brings up what he said on December 9: if MJF did one more thing, Sammy was out. Well now he’s done, because he quits. And there’s the face turn (or at least part of the face turn) that Sammy has been primed for over the last few months.

Post break, Sammy leaves the building.

Hangman Page and Matt Hardy are drinking at the bar but Hardy isn’t as well versed with some of the choices. Hardy makes his sales pitch as the agent and even has a contract offer. Page actually agrees but, as Matt talks to the camera, switches the papers and signs something else. He has Matt sign as well but Matt is too excited to notice and leaves with whatever Page had him sign.

Tony Schiavone brings out Sting for an interview but Team Taz interrupts, showing that they have Darby Allin in a body bag. Allin, still in the bag, is tied to the car and dragged across the parking lot. Sting gives chase as we take a break.

Earlier today, Alex Marvez tried to talk to Kenny Omega on the golf course but has to wait for the shot. Marvez asks what Omega is doing when he has such a big main event coming up. Omega says he’s already the best wrestler ever so now it’s time to prepare mentally and spiritually her eon the golf course. Don Callis praises Kenny for his alleged eagle (ignore the adjusting of the ball while Omega and Marvez talked) and lets Marvez have the ball as a souvenir. Marvez asks for a ride but gets turned down. Maybe because Callis and Omega are on foot?

Women’s Title Eliminator Tournament First Round: Thunder Rosa vs. Leyla Hirsch

Rosa gets an inset interview talking about her goals of becoming champion. Hirsch takes her down a few times to start but Rosa gets in a slam and scores with a running backsplash. Back up and Hirsch pulls her down into the waistlock, followed by the running up the ropes for an armdrag. A suicide dive drops Rosa again but she’s right back in, where Hirsch pulls her down by the arm. That’s broken up as well and Rosa snaps off a neckbreaker over the middle rope.

We take a break and come back with Rosa hitting some sling shot knees in the corner. The running basement dropkick in the corner gives Rosa two but Hirsch shoves her off the top. A high crossbody gives Hirsch two but her moonsault hits raised knees. Rosa loads up a fire thunder driver, only to have Hirsch pull her down into a triangle choke. That’s countered with a powerbomb though and Rosa’s layout inverted reverse DDT finishes at 9:15.

Rating: C+. Hirsch continues to be someone they see something in and I can’t say I blame them a bit. There is always going to be a place for someone with her amateur skills and she makes things feel different. Then you have Rosa though and the star power is all over her, hence why she is likely going to make a deep run in this thing.

We run down the first round of the Japanese half of the bracket. The matches will air on YouTube this coming Monday.

Jungle Boy talks about his great match with Dax Harwood, where Boy won by submission. No the Jurassic Express didn’t want o have FTR suspended, so as soon as possible, Boy is making Harwood his b****.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Kenta/Kenny Omega vs. Jon Moxley/Lance Archer

Falls Count Anywhere and Kenta gets in a briefcase (his #1 contendership to Moxley’s US Title) shot to Moxleys’s back to start. Some kicks to Archer’s knee lets Omega hit the Kitaro Crusher but he and Kenta get in an argument. That’s enough for Archer and Moxley to fight back, though they don’t seem to trust one another either. The running clotheslines in the corner have Omega and Kenta in trouble again. Omega and Archer are knocked outside but it’s too early for the GTS to Moxley.

Instead here’s Omega with a trashcan to knock Moxley silly and then put the trashcan on the post. That means the moonsault with the trashcan onto Moxley and it’s time to cringe a bit. It’s time to bring in a ladder but Moxley fights back and hits a suicide dive on Kenta as Archer supelxes Omega into said ladder.

We take a break, coming back with Kenta and Omega fighting near the stage….and here’s Peter Avalon (out of his heart shaped bed) to interrupt and take the GTS it as well. Archer chokeslams Omega onto said bed and Moxley kicks Kenta in the face for two. Moxley knocks Kenta around the arena and then up the steps near the door Moxley uses every week.

Archer leaves Omega laying and goes after them but they have wound up in a kitchen. A DDT puts Moxley onto a metal table and the YES Lock goes on, only to have Archer make the save with a bag of potatoes. Moxley grabs one and hits Omega, getting to say that “he potatoed him”.

We look back at the rest of the match and come back with Omega and Moxley coming back to the arena. Moxley gets in a few kendo stick shots to Omega as they head inside again. Omega V Triggers Moxley out of the air and out to the floor though as the things slow back down. Cue Archer and Kenta to fight on the stage with Archer loading up a powerbomb through the announcers’ table. That’s broken up though and Kenta hits a running double stomp to put Moxley through a ringside table.

Archer sees Omega in the middle of the ring so Omega grabs the kendo stick. That shot is easily blocked so Omega goes after the knee. Archer is fine enough to hit a chokeslam though and the ladder is tossed to the floor. The rope walk moonsault gives Archer two but Omega slips out of the Blackout.

Cue the Good Brothers so Archer knocks them down and shrugs off Kenta’s spinning backfists. The Brothers get in though and Anderson hits Archer with the Gun stun. Jake Roberts gets in so Anderson uppercuts him down but Omega’s V Trigger is broken up. The Brothers low blow Archer to cut him off though and there’s the Magic Killer. The One Winged Angel is enough to finish Archer at 19:53.

Rating: B-. This is going to be a case where your individual tastes may heavily vary but there was too much going on here and it got a little too goofy at times. Stuff like Peter Avalon and the potatoes make for some good gags but they didn’t quite fit with the anger and violence that seemed to be the idea here. Not a bad match at all and it was certainly wild, though just not my thing for this one.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show pretty well this week, though we’re still far enough out from Revolution that it’s ok to not set up a lot of the card just yet. You can see the pieces being put together at the moment and, as usual, if this is one of their weaker shows, they’re going to be just fine. This worked out well enough and I’m curious to see where things go, which is more than a lot of companies are accomplishing these days.

Results

Darby Allin b. Joey Janela – Coffin Drop

Cody Rhodes/Lee Johnson b. Cezar Bononi/Peter Avalon – Rollup to Avalon

Pac b. Ryan Nemeth – Brutalizer

Chris Jericho/MJF b. Acclaimed – Judas Effect to Castor

Thunder Rosa b. Leyla Hirsch – layout inverted reverse DDT

Kenny Omega/Kenta b. Jon Moxley/Lance Archer – One Winged Angel to Archer

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