Wrestlemania 2000
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Star Spangled Banner: Lillian Garcia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This whole show is an interesting one, and this is primarily for two reasons. Number one: there is not a standard one on one match on the whole card. That’s just odd for any show. The other thing: Steve Austin and Undertaker were out with injuries here. This show is also important though because it’s the first show where all your big names are just that: big names.

HHH is the reigning WWF Champion, Rock is the #1 face in the company, Big Show is there for some reason, and Foley is “retired”, but getting one more shot as he finally gets to main event a Wrestlemania, which is a nice thing to let him do, despite the fact that he really had no business there at all. He was added less than two weeks before the show after the original main event, a three way match with HHH, Rock and Big Show happened on Raw for no apparent reasons at the time.

Also at this show, we have the WM debuts of Benoit, Angle, the Hardyz and the Dudleyz, as well as Edge and Christian being actual wrestlers here for the first time. This is the first show with the new generation being around, and it showed really well. It’s also the first show where the company more or less knew that WCW and any real threat to WWF’s survival was dead, so they didn’t have to nail it to ensure where their next paycheck was coming from. However, the important question is obvious: is the show with all these new stars better than last year’s? Let’s get to it.

Sweet goodness Lillian looks different here. She aged very well and actually looks better older than she does here. She can still sing though.
After a video highlighting the previous Manias either narrated by James Earl Jones (Darth Vader in an explanation I can’t believe I had to make) or the greatest imitation of his voice ever recorded, for the first time in Mania history, we get the MASSIVE pyro display that has become a standard in WWF. So with all this new talent, what’s our first great match?

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Eh? We’re opening the show that’s supposed to lead the WWF and therefore the wrestling business into the new millennium and this is what you give us? And people wonder why wrestling went downhill in a hurry once WCW died. Godfather and Brown are rapped to the ring by Ice T, who I try to block out as most of the time these live intros are awful. Brown is a co-pimp here.

Remember the catchy Godfather entrance? This isn’t close to it. Ice T does some song that includes the lyric Pimp Or Die. Something sound bad about that? This intro goes on WAY too long and sums up what I hate about rap: this whole thing is just loud and stupid sounding. It was built to market a CD called Aggression which was a rap album of WWF entrance themes. In case you can’t guess, it bombed.

After that completely pointless intro, Godfather decides he has to do his awful intro, saying for everyone to smoke a blunt and say it ain’t easy. FINALLY Bossman’s terribly bland theme music plays and the pain in my head goes away a little bit. Godfather has really stupid looking dreadlocks here and is somehow dumber looking than usual.

There’s really no reason as to why these two are feuding in case you thought there was. Is it possible that D’Lo Brown is the most successful of these four men? I do believe he is and that’s a scary thought. Anyway let’s get to this. Brown vs. Buchanan to start us off with Brown controlling so far. Godfather takes Boss Man’s interfering head off while Brown is on offense.

Off to the pimp now as the fans want puppies. Big elbow misses as we talk about JR wearing some of Godfather’s clothes for some reason. Basically Boss Man dominates when he’s in and Buchanan can do one move, that running up the corner into a spinning clothesline. Blind tag brings in the Boss Man who gets two on Brown as Godfather saves.

Axe kick by Buchanan gets two. Brown and Boss Man on the floor now and Godfather accidentally clotheslines the referee. I say accidentally as the referee doesn’t even go down so it wasn’t the point obviously. Boss Man gets two on Brown who is the face in peril here. Buchanan with a bearhug now as the fans chant for D’lo.

Naturally that doesn’t do it but an elbow takes down Brown. Double teaming by the guys in black as Godfather just looks stupid. Boss Man sucks chant starts up. The beating goes on for awhile with Buchanan hitting a double axe off the top. We talk about Pete Rose for a bit and apparently he’s got a ball bat with him just in case.

Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Godfather and Brown busts out a rana to break the momentum. Here’s Godfather who cleans some house. Ho Train hits Boss Man in the corner sets up the Lo Down from Brown. Bull pushes him off the top though but Brown lands on his feet. Boss Man Slam kills D’lo though and a guillotine leg drop from Buchanan ends this.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s Godfather/Brown vs. Boss Man/Buchanan. It’s not a terrible match but is this really what you want to open Mania? Also, a heel team winning the opener? Just not a great idea especially after the crowd got fired up for the rapping. Not bad but just odd.

Steph and HHH are in their office talking about how great their lives are.

The referees explain the rules of the Hardcore Battle Royal tonight. It’s a 15 minute time limit. There’s no limit to the amount of title changes in that period. Apparently the 24/7 rule is waved after tonight. I think Crash has to be pinned to get the title off of him.
Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Farrooq, Bradshaw
The idea here was that the Hardcore Title was defended 24/7, as long as the challenger had a referee with him. This led to some interesting situations such as pin falls as amusement parks, hotels, etc. You have 13 guys here and whoever gets the last pinfall leaves with the belt, which would be kind of pointless as the 24/7 rule would be in effect so he could get attacked seconds after it ended right? It’s not really a battle royal but rather a 13 man match.

There are weapons at ringside and thankfully a lot of the guys come out in groups or teams to save some time. The Posse gets a small pop. The APA gets the biggest pop by far. Here we go. Remember there are 15 minutes to this period. Everyone but Crash and Taz go to the floor almost immediately and Tazz gets a suplex on Crash to win the title in maybe a minute. Now they have to pin him to get the title, which Viscera does with a splash. We’re not even at 13 minutes left yet.

Everyone is on the floor now and someone has a box fan. There’s a flag in there. The Posse of all people jump Viscera and they actually work for a bit. Lots of weapon shots to Viscera, mainly from the APA. Crash is busted open. They’ve taken the clock off the screen now because they want us to have to think I guess. Crash, ever the lunkhead, tries to jump the future Big Daddy V.

The crowd is kind of dead as they’re just hitting each other with weapons here. Bradshaw is like screw it and starts beating the tar out of people. Hardcore gets two on Viscera after a shot with a trashcan lid. Ten minutes left as JR says these guys won’t forget their first Wrestlemania. I’m not sure how many this is their first for. Taz is I think and that might be it. Funaki maybe?

We haven’t had a fall in like four minutes. 2/3 of the Posse and Viscera are in the ring now with Thrasher. Viscera beats everyone up with a cookie sheet. Farrooq comes in as Viscera climbs the ropes for no apparent reason. The APA get a double slam which doesn’t really keep him down. They throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera and Funaki is called the new champion.

Taka immediately smacks him upside his head and the chase is on! Funaki proves to be the most intelligent guy here as he’s trying to run. With a little under seven minutes left some of the Posse catches him in the back and Rodney steals the title. Abs gets a suplex and gets the title. That was a 24 second title reign for those keeping count. Thrasher rams Joey into a wall and gets the title.

Thrasher then runs through a line of people who all hit him with weapons and we’re back in the arena now. Pete Gas finds a fire extinguisher and the third member of the Posse has the title now. Then Tazz grabs him and I think Pete is busted. Oh yeah he’s busted good. A T-Bone Suplex gives Taz his second reign of the night with a little over 4 minutes left.

Hardcore gets two after ramming him into the steps. Crash is busted BAD. Taz tries to pin Mosh as I guess instincts took over or something. Taz keeps kicking out. Both Hollies fight Taz in the ring with Crash not being able to do much at all. ECW chant starts up and we’re under three minutes. Taz stands alone and covers Crash with two and a half minutes to go. Eh it’s not a big deal. As a wrestler I guess you’re trained to go for covers.

The Hollies beat Crash down and both guys try for the pin. Naturally they end up fighting which is what they do in that family I guess. With two minutes left Taz suplexes Crash and Hardcore gets a powerslam on Taz for two. I love how no one else has seemed to care about trying to win the title and is just fighting. Taz suplexes Hardcore and he hits the floor, stealing JR’s candy jar.

Now we get to the weird part of this. Crash gets a weapon shot in on Taz and wins the title with about 20 seconds to go. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore comes in with the candy jar and busts it over Taz’s head (legitimately injuring Taz’s eye and costing him the push that would ultimately go to Chris Benoit). He covers Crash and the referee just doesn’t slap the mat for three.

What was supposed to happen was the clock was supposed to go out with Hardcore having a 2.99999 count. They messed up the timing though and the referee had to stop. They further messed things up by having Fink say Hardcore won the title while JR screams that there was a shoulder up. Totally not the planned ending but you have to do what you have to do.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? The idea makes sense and given what’s going on, the mistake at the end is very excusable in my mind, and since this is my review of the show, it’s excusable. It was wild and stupid, and that’s just fine. The match was fun and that’s all that really matters.

Video on Axxess. That still looks awesome. They have a small arena with matches going on, a commentary booth where you can sit down with Michael Cole and call a match, race cars, autograph booths, a Hall of Fame exhibit. Austin and HBK, two guys that weren’t active at this time, are there too. I’d love to go to something like that.
Al Snow is in the bathroom talking to someone in a stall but Steve Blackman is worried about what he’s planning.

We go from that to an extreme closeup of Trish’s ample chest as she says WM is going to see some T & A.

Test/Albert vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

This was a really weird angle in the tag division as Snow and Blackman were doing the odd pairing that won almost every match they had, but Snow insisted that they needed a name which didn’t go that well. Test and Albert were guys that Trish had handpicked to be her team. What you have to remember here about Trish is at the time, she wasn’t a wrestler and was nothing more than the hot manager. It wasn’t for about two more years before she and Lita took the division to new heights.

As for the match, before it we get Al Snow talking. One of the names he was pitching was Head Cheese, going along with his Head gimmick. Out comes Chester McCheesyton, a walking piece of cheese. Sadly enough, I’m not making that up. Trish leads their opponents down, but is WAY more muscular than when she started wrestling. If this is believable, she let herself go physically before she started wrestling.

Lawler messes up the headsets and JR is gone for a bit. Blackman and Test start but it’s off to Snow soon thereafter. Blackman tries to keep the Head Cheese chants down as this filler match goes on. This is a good show later on but these opening matches are pretty freaking bad all things considered. I’m watching Al Snow and Steve Blackman at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.

Oh and JR is back now. It breaks down quickly as you can tell JR has nothing to work with here at all. There’s no point in talking about the match as it’s just about getting us to the end and that’s all there is to it. The cheese hits on Trish and is named Chester the Molester. Albert gets beaten down for awhile as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. This is what Raw and Smackdown are for.

Did I mention that this match is terribly boring? It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening in the ring but nothing matters at all. Crowd is DEAD here. It doesn’t help that the wrestling is boring. Double powerbomb to Snow gets two. There’s the boring chant. Bowling shoe tendency line by Ross. Head Cheese’s finishing move, the move that the Smoking Guns called the Sidewinder, gets two. FINALLY Albert gets a press slam on Blackman and the elbow from Test ends it.

Rating: F. Thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen and somehow it’s nearly an hour into the show. Just a terrible match all around and everyone knew it. Get on to whatever is next please.

The “good guys” beat up the cheese dude post match.

We get a horrible segment of Kat and Mae Young where Kat is sitting in a chair sans clothing and Mae keeps handing her things that cover up certain parts. Austin Powers was very big at this time and it’s supposed to be like that I think.

The Dudleys, still in their original AWESOME mode, say they’ll win and even though the odds are against them they’ll take things to a new level. These two more or less saved the division.
Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This was before the name TLC was coined, but it’s the same thing with a bigger emphasis on the ladders. Edge and Christian were still chasing the belts at this point and the Dudleyz are the defending champions. At this time, the Dudleyz were so over it’s mind blowing and they were easily the biggest tag team in the world. There’s no backstory here other than they’ve been feuding over the belts and E/C and the Hardys have had ladder matches before. These matches never have much backstory but they don’t need to.

The Dudleys climb a ladder and pose during their entrance so the other two teams start fighting without them. All six guys brawl in the aisle until Matt and Christian hit the ring. Matt and Jeff look A LOT alike here so I’ll likely get them mixed up at least once or twice. These matches are very hard to call so it’s likely that I’ll miss something.

Bubba beats on Jeff in the ring until Jeff gets what would become known as Whisper in the Wind to reverse. Bubba Bomb and Bubba rules the ring. That may never be said again forever. The fans want tables as Christian goes up the ladder early. Matt saves as the ladders are brought in quickly. Crowd is surprisingly quiet here but after the first three matches they had to sit through I can understand that.

We start the violence though and the fans wake up a good bit. Ladders are rammed into people and pain is caused. Matt gets the screaming…elbow onto D-Von onto the ladder. Jeff tries a 450 onto Bubba onto the ladder but the fat country boy moves and Jeff nearly kills himself again. In other news, the sun came up today. Bubba actually hits the backsplash off the middle rope but hits his head on the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN!

Matt’s entire body is crushed by a ladder and then the same thing happens to Edge. They’re doing a lot more with the ladders here. Bubba does the Terry Funk spot as he spins around with the ladder around his neck. Edge/Christian beat on D-Von for awhile and then sit up a ladder in front of the ropes. Christian dives off and takes out Matt and Bubba. Nice dive indeed.

Jeff goes up but Edge dives off the top rope to spear him down. Oh man would that be topped by about a thousand next year. Edge takes a Crucifix Bomb from Matt off the ladder. Christian throws a ladder at D-Von. Why do stuff that is too complicated I guess? Three ladders set up now but Bubba takes Christian down with the Cutter off the ladder. SWEET spot.

The Hardys kill Bubba with the legdrop/splash combo off ladders. D-Von and Christian in the ring now but here’s Edge. The Canadians get a double suplex off the ladder in a great spot. Everyone but the Dudleys go up and everyone but the Dudleys crash down. And here comes Bubba! Here they go again, this time with all six of them.

Christian and Jeff go flying over the top rope to the floor as do Matt and Edge. The Dudleys wind up in the ring somehow but they’re a bit dead at the moment. Christian staggers to his feet and is sandwiched between two ladders. The look on his face in short says “That hurt a LOT!” Old school 3D to Edge, which is where Bubba runs parallel to him and then crosses over to catch Edge in the cutter in stride. It’s an awesome move when done right.

The Dudleys don’t have their catchphrase yet so they just get the tables. With two ladders already in the ring the ring, the Dudleys set up a table on top of them like a bridge/platform between them. The Hardys are back now to surprising booing. To the floor we go and Matt is slammed into the steps and HARD. This has been an incredibly physical match to say the least.

There’s a table in the ring in front of a ladder with D-Von on said ladder and a table in front of the announce table. Matt goes on the one in the ring and Jeff is in a powerbomb position in Bubba’s hands on the announce table. In stereo, D-Von dives onto Matt and Bubba powerbombs Jeff in a cool sequence. Jeff somehow gets up soon thereafter and tries his barrier run but Bubba PELTS the ladder at him to stop Jeff in midair which looked sweet again. Jeff has taken a man’s beating in this.

And now it’s time to set up the big spot in this match as Bubba debuts the super ladder in the aisle. There’s a table set up in front of it and Jeff gets laid out on it. Christian comes up with the bell to clock Bubba. Jeff gets off the table as Bubba is laid on it. And he begins to climb. In the HOLY CRAP spot of the match, Jeff jumps off the ladder and half kills himself with a Swanton Bomb through Bubba through the table. That was the top of Jeff’s highlight reel for a long time.

Back in the ring with D-Von kind of alive. Matt and Christian are in there too and are trying to stand. Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and Matt and Christian both start climbing. They get up on the platform but Edge is climbing up behind Matt. Edge throws him off and through a table which explodes on impact. The Canadians grab the belts and win their first tag titles to finally end this.

Rating: B+. This was a great match but there are a lot of dead spots in there. Jeff is easily the star of this match as he took one of the best beatings you’ll ever see with huge bump after huge bump. Somehow this would be topped the next year and this match would be blown out of the water. Great match and definitely picked up a bad show so far. I liked it quite a bit but somehow next year’s was that much better.

In the back we have Linda McMahon with Mick Foley. I forgot to mention, the idea behind the main event is that there’s a McMahon in every corner. Stephanie and HHH, Vince is backing Rock, Linda brought Mick back in, and Shane was Big Show’s manager for lack of a better term. Foley, with washed hair, says his fairy tale will come true, not his opponents.

JR and King talk about how great the ladder match was and they’re right. Considering that almost nothing like this had ever been done with so many people, this was beyond great.

Terri vs. The Kat

Val Venis is the guest referee here. To cover up the fact that neither can wrestle, the only thing you have to do here is throw the other girl out of the ring. Val’s pre match promos are always great. Apparently he and WM have things in common: they’re large extravaganzas, they get blood pumping, but unlike Val, Mania only comes once a year. And people have the nerve to wonder why the Attitude Era scared away parents.

Terri has Moolah with her and Kat has Mae Young. This is one of the major problems with great matches: after them, you get stuff like this. Terri truly was ugly to me. Val makes out with both in the middle of the match as this continues to cry out for someone to save the division. Terri gets thrown out but Mae is kissing Val. She comes back in and Terri wins. Afterwards, Kat strips Terri of her pants.

Rating: F. Didn’t care at all and it was terrible. A complete waste of time and an insult to my intelligence. It was like two minutes long and awful to say the least.

In the back we see Eddie, Saturn and Malenko getting ready to face Too Cool and Chyna. Eddie has a crush on Chyna but can’t get her attention.

Chyna/Too Cool vs. The Radicalz

This feud went on forever and no one cared. Let’s get this over with. All I have to remember is that the triple threat is next. That should get me through this. Oh well at least Chyna looks pretty good here. I’ll give Too Cool this: their music is downright catchy. Scotty vs. Eddie starts us off here. Eddie gets beaten down a bit and we get some dancing.

Chyna is tagged in and Eddie literally runs away on his knees. Dean, the Light Heavyweight Champion is here now. JR thinks Chyna looks hot. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Grandmaster and Chyna hit a double suplex on Malenko. Hey look: more dancing. Is that all Too Cool could do? Back to Eddie who avoids the top rope legdrop. Ok so it was more like Saturn shoved Grandmaster off but work for me here.

Grandmaster vs. Saturn at the moment. Saturn steals Grandmaster’s head gear complete with dreadlocks or whatever that is. Back to Eddie who takes over for a bit and it’s cold tag to Scotty. Eddie keeps trying to get Chyna’s attention which fails completely. Since she isn’t paying enough attention she gets her head rammed into the post. Good. Witch deserved it.

Saturn and Malenko get beaten up by Scotty and it’s time for the Worm. Oh but since it’s Mania it’s a double Worm to both Radicalz not named Eddie. Everything breaks down a bit as we’re still waiting on Eddie vs. Chyna. Nice superkick by Saturn to Scotty as we’re in a bit more of a standard match now. Elbow hits Scotty from the top for no cover.

Off to Eddie but he can’t get the Frog Splash off. Scotty drills him and it’s a superplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Chyna and Eddie can’t run away fast enough. Handspring elbow to Saturn as Chyna is cleaning house. Double low blow and Eddie drills Chyna. Chyna counters a powerbomb and gets a bad one of her own. She grabs Eddie’s balls and then gets a sleeper drop for the pin. They would be together the following night.

Rating: D. Well Chyna looked good and she got to beat on Eddie. That’s the extent of the good stuff about this match. It’s nothing special to say the slightest and is yet again another pointless match on this show in a long streak of them. Again though, the triple threat is next. Keep repeating that.
That day there was a thing called All Day Long which was an 8 hour countdown of WM history that cost an extra 50 dollars. Our cable company screwed up and we got It for free. Anyway the point of this is there was a contest with the winner getting front row seats and the winner is shown. She and her husband are the definition of white trash but it’s kind of a cool idea. They’re from Allentown, Pennsylvania, hometoiwn of the Nasty Boys as I show my nerdiness.

Shane tells us how awesome Big Show is. Show says he’s awesome and will take apart the other three.

Bob Backlund who is kind of Angle’s mentor made the match with both titles being defended in the same match/back to back. Kurt kind of goes insane and puts Backlund in the crossface chickenwing even though you can tell there’s no pressure on the arm. One of the medals breaks during this scuffle.

Angle talks to a security guard to try to get some extra security, offering autographs as payment. Much funnier than it sounds.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

This is the match that everyone remembers from this show as well as being a very cool concept. Angle has both the European and Intercontinental titles and is defending both in back to back triple threat matches. The first fall is for the IC title and immediately thereafter the European Title match starts. With these three, are you expecting less than greatness?

The brilliance behind this is that even if one has a bad night, the other two are there to cover for them. Jericho is clearly having a blast on the mic here and says he’ll win something and be the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah no matter what. Angle is still the goofball heel which is some of the best stuff I can ever remember. Him being less than a year into his pro career is insane.

Speaking of insane, Benoit jumps him on the floor and the fight is on. They seem to be attacking Angle together for the most part but he fights them off somewhat. Benoit vs. Jericho now as this is rather fast paced. With Benoit and Angle on the apron, Jericho hits his springboard dropkick to take them both out to the floor. There’s a really annoying kid in the audience that is shouting about everything that’s said. Granted that’s not a terrible thing as that’s what fans are supposed to do.

Ross says Angle is great but talks about himself too much. Lawler: “So does Jericho.” Ross: “That’s a good point King. Maybe later you’ll make another.” No one ever accused JR of being the nicest guy in the world. Jericho is knocked off the top out to the floor where he slams into the table in a painful looking bump. Angle gets a snap suplex on Benoit for two.

Jericho knocks Angle to the floor and locks in a camel clutch to Benoit. This is too fast paced to call everything and they keep going back and forth. Jericho suplexes Angle and Benoit almost steals a pin. Then he does something stupid and tries to suplex Kurt. I think you get what winds up happening to Jericho. Benoit is sent to the floor and in some slick counters Angle gets a crossface chicken wing on Jericho.

Benoit manages to get a dropkick to Angle to break it up at the last second. He throws Angle into the crowd and hits the swan dive to Jericho for the pin and the Intercontinental Title. In a smart move Benoit tries to immediately cover Jericho but Angle breaks it up. All three are back in there now and Angle’s moonsault is crotched.

Angle is up top and Jericho tries a belly to back suplex. Benoit drills Jericho and suplexes him instead. Angle tries the moonsault to Benoit but crashes and everyone is down for a count. After some covers Jericho grabs the Walls on Angle but Benoit breaks it up. Angle wakes up and hammers away but Jericho takes him and Benoit down with relative ease. Double powerbomb to Angle but Benoit saves again. Rolling Germans by Benoit to Jericho get two as well.

Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Suplex to Kurt. Angle’s shoulder might have been up on the bridge so Jerry screams conspiracy. Jericho misses the forearm and drills the referee with it. Crossface goes on and Jericho taps but there’s no referee. Walls of Jericho to Benoit but still no ref. Angle drills Jericho with a belt to break it up which only gets two. Benoit misses the Swan Dive to Angle so Jericho hits his fellow Canadian with the Lionsalt for the European Title to end this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff indeed with all three guys working incredibly hard the entire time. It’s also a good way to get the titles off of Kurt without hurting his reputation. He would be world champion in the fall so he doesn’t have much to complain about. Excellent match and probably their best matches up to this point.

Vince is in the back with Cole as apparently the four way can only have eliminations via pinfall and it’s No DQ. For a multi-man match, that’s the best way to go. Vince says the McMahons won’t be a factor. That’s why they were the focal point of the match right? Vince says he’ll “make it right.”

HHH says he will not lose.

Kane/Rikishi vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg

This is pure filler before the title match, but there’s a story to it at least. DX is accompanied by Tori who is Kane’s ex. She was his first relationship and left X-Pac, allegedly because Kane wasn’t big enough for her. She’s pure sexuality and while she’s not the most famous or attractive diva, she’s one of the sexiest. The name Pete Rose is thrown around here as he might want a piece of Kane after two years of getting beaten up. Kane has been chasing X-Pac for months and this is about the best shot he ever got at him.

Well if nothing else we get the awesome Kings of Rock theme for DX. The more I see of Jesse James, the more I’m impressed. We now get Rikishi. Oh yay, it’s Rikishi. GOOD GRIEF I HATED THIS GUY. People, you want to complain about JBL being useless? This is the epitome of useless. If you remember earlier on I said there was no Austin. He was out getting neck surgery so the reason given was that he was run over by a car at the Survivor Series. No one knew who was driving it or who was behind it.

Austin comes back in the fall from being out nearly a year and the man hunt begins. Who was it? HHH, Rock, Vince, maybe even one of the new guys like Jericho or Benoit, looking to make a name for themselves? Nope. It’s Rikishi, the 400lb, thong wearing, dancing sumo wrestler. He debuted about a week after Austin was run over and while Austin was out, Rikishi rose to the IC title in a decent run and hit amazing popularity.

Then in the worst move I can ever remember, he’s revealed as the mastermind of the plot to attack Austin. They have a match and finally everyone realizes the massive problem: Austin can’t beat Rikishi up the way he usually does others because he’s too fat.

No one buys into Rikishi as the big bad he was supposed to be, so WWF pulled the blug at the last minute and said Rikishi was working for HHH, making him the true evil one. Rikishi was gone soon thereafter, thank goodness. Anyway, Kane comes out to end my hate filled rant. Paul Bearer in the red suit is just sweet looking for some reason.

Bearer and Tori get into an argument so DX double teams Rikishi. Kane has the inverted colors tonight which is awesome. Stinkface to Road Dogg as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Stinkface to Tori is avoided to big booing. DX tries to run which doesn’t work at all. Kane finally gets his hands on X-Pac.

We finally get back in the ring and Pac kicks Rikishi’s head off. Pac vs. Rikishi is how we finally start it up. Bronco Buster by Pac and it’s off to Roadie. Pac in again and he can’t do a thing. Rikishi hits a one man 3D and it’s off to Kane. Road Dogg gets his head kicked off and Tori is thrown in. Stinkface for her and a Tombstone for X-Pac ends it quickly.

Rating: D+. Well for what it was supposed to be this was fine. Keeping it short was a great thing as this barely broke four minutes. Kane gets his revenge, we get the comedy stuff, Tori looked good, and then we get what the whole point of this is about: the post match stuff.

Too Cool comes out to dance but the San Diego Chicken comes out like last year. Rikishi comes in to kill the chicken but is intercepted by some yellow sunglasses. Somehow the dancing gets the best pop of the night. The chicken can move and it’s pretty clear that’s not Rose. Kane goes after the chicken but Pete Rose comes in.

Chokeslam to Rose and Paul Bearer does the crotch chop to him. Rose gets a Stinkface to FINALLY end this. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s childish, I know it’s idiotic, but I absolutely love these Pete Rose segments. The guy is having fun and gets beaten up three straight years and it’s still awesome. I loved these things and they still make me smile. Kane’s pyro is louder than usual and it made me jump a bit.

Rock says his time is now and he’s taking the title back. This is serious Rock and it works very well.

Some celebrities are here.

Quick recap of the title match. HHH was WWF Champion so he’s explained. He was feuding with Cactus Jake and retired him at No Way Out. As a favor to him in real life, WWF brought him back in for one final match so he could live out his dream of main eventing a Wrestlemania. Since he was officially retired, if he wins here he vacates the title and a tournament starts that ends at next month’s Backlash.

Rock was the last man out of the Rumble, eliminating Big Show. However, Big Show produces a video showing that Rock’s feet hit the ground before Show’s, so Show officially won. Rock had signed the contracts though, so he couldn’t be taken out but Show could be added, leading to all four being in here. Also remember the McMahon in every corner aspect (Linda – Mick, Stephanie – HHH, Vince – Rock, Shane – Big Show).

WWF World Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show

Foley comes out first and you can tell he’s choked up. This was classy of WWF to let him have one last time and to let him accomplish his dream like this. It’s clear that the McMahons are the focal point here and is anyone really surprised by that? Big ovation for Rock here as this totally should have been Rock vs. HHH. I get the Foley addition, but did anyone want to see Big Show in there? I miss HHH’s My Time music. That was awesome.

HHH was at the absolute peak of evil here and he looks like awesome. If Stephanie’s hair didn’t look absurd, that bareback pink top and leather pants would work a lot better. HHH doesn’t quite have the water spit down yet. Here we go. Foley vs. HHH and Rock vs. Big Show to start. No tagging here of course. They say fatal fourway but it’s elimination. Foley is out of shape here as he more or less stopped training after No Way Out but to be fair he thought he was done.

Show beats down Rock and takes down the other guys with a double clothesline. Press slam to Rock which is incredibly impressive. Same to HHH. Foley jumps on his back so Show just drops backwards with him. Well why do something other than what works? Rock gets up and hammers away but a side slam takes care of that.

Show tries a chokeslam on HHH but Foley kicks him low. Foley and HHH hammer away on the Giant as does Rock. A trio of clotheslines put him down and they do a Horsemen stomp. Foley drills HHH out of instinct and they hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline. Chair to the ribs of HHH as Shane trips Rock. Foley blasts Show in the back with a chair and a Rock Bottom puts Show out less than five minutes in. Was there ANY point to him being there? He would be a face in like a week which was good for him and us as we got THE SHOWSTER.

HHH tries to ally himself with Foley to get rid of Rock. That fails so HHH tries to ally himself with Rock to get rid of Foley. Take a guess as to what happens next. The double teaming of HHH goes on for awhile and we go out to the floor. Foley hands Rock the bell but HHH ducks and the bell hits Foley in the head instead. Out of nowhere Mick finds the 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire, drawing a big pop from the crowd.

HHH gets a low blow to save himself and gets the 2×4 for a shot to Foley’s ribs. Rock back in now and the 2×4 is dropped to the floor. Rock is sent to the floor and Foley gets a double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Mr. Socko time and the Claw goes on. Rock grabs the belt and blasts HHH so he can set for the People’s Elbow. Surprisingly though Foley grabs the Claw on Rock, only for the Rock N Sock Connection to take a double low blow to put all three down.

Rock vs. Foley for a bit now as Foley gets some near falls with the double arm DDT getting the closest one. Vince slid a chair in earlier but Foley gets it. Rock kicks it into his face though and then hammers away. He gets a DDT on Foley but HHH breaks it up, causing confusion from the announcers. Foley makes a deal with HHH to get rid of the Rock and the double team is on to huge booing.

Out to the floor where the double teaming continues. Mick gets reversed and his knees crash into the stairs. Those same stairs are rammed into the head of the Rock by Foley to keep Rock down. Rock is put on the Spanish Announce Table so Foley can go to the middle rope for the elbow. The problem is that he couldn’t jump that well and slams chest first into the side of the table, legitimately injuring his sternum.

HHH gets all mad and drops two jumping elbows onto Rock to break him through the table. Back in the ring Foley takes the Pedigree for a long two and a big pop. HHH shoves the referee down and then kills Foley with a chair to the head. Pedigree on the chair and Foley didn’t wrestle again for four years. Rock vs. HHH now for the title, but do you really think Foley is leaving that easily? He comes back and blasts HHH in the head with the barbed wire so that Rock can get two.

Rock clotheslines HHH to the floor and remember it has to end by pinfall. Out to the floor now and we go up the aisle. Rock gets a suplex up by the entrance in a cool looking crash landing. All Rock here. Into the crowd they go and then it’s back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH pops him with a chair so that the steps hit Rock in the head and fall on his chest. HHH hammers the steps with the chair. A Piledriver on the steps kills Rock but only gets two back in the ring. Big pop for that kickout.

Both finishers are countered with the Pedigree being backdropped to the floor. We go into the crowd again as it’s pretty clear they’re killing time before the finish. Back to the ring area and HHH smacks the hat off the head of an annoying fan. Spinebuster (called a takedown by Ross) on the floor by Rock puts both guys down.

We head to the announce table with Rock suplexing HHH onto the English announce table. You can tell it’s a big match when the American table is busted too. HHH gets a drop toehold to the steps to put Rock down. For some reason he gets in HHH’s face and Vince kicks some Game. Shane is back now and beats down Vince a bit.

Shane hits Vince in the head with a monitor and the look on Stephanie’s face that we cut to is perhaps the most unintentionally funny things you will ever see on WWE television. Stephanie is a lot of things. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy, she’s a great TV character, but she cannot act to save her life and this is one of those instances. She looks like the guy from Troll 2 if that gives you any indication of how stupid she looks here.

Anyway, Vince somehow pops up from a monitor shot to the head within 20 seconds and goes after Shane. Keep in mind that this sequence, which has gone on for like two minutes now, is happening during THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA. Yes, The Rock vs. HHH, perhaps the greatest feud of the Attitude Era other than Vince vs. Austin and the feud that would carry the comfpany to unthought of levels in 2000 isn’t enough as we need to focus on the McMahons and their drama. This is why this match and show are considered weak: it was about the McMahons and that’s it.

Shane manages to crack Vince’s head with the chair to put him down. They’ve literally not had the camera on HHH or Rock or the ring for three minutes now. They’re in the ring salsa dancing for all I know. Vince is busted open and taken to the back. There’s a trickle of blood which JR is saying is flowing by the quart.

HOLY CRAP IT’S WRESTLING TIME! Rock hammers on HHH and gets a DDT for two. Rock gets a slam for two as Shane has a chair on the floor. HHH gets a facebuster and drills Rock in the head with the 2×4. Shane in now but the reversed Pedigree sends HHH flying into Shane. Rock Bottom but Rock is spent. Shane is up with the chair now but here’s Vince as AGAIN it’s all about the McMahons. Shane goes down, Vince gets the chair, turns on Rock (SHOCKING!), chair to Rock, kick out, HHH gets the chair and drills Rock with it for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well let’s see. First of all, WAY too much focus on the McMahons. Second, this should have been Rock vs. HHH. That’s all there is to it. Also, a fatal fourway elimination match in the main event of Wrestlemania? That sounds like something from a video game. Also, when does a heel win in the main event of Wrestlemania? It’s supposed to be a feel good moment and that simply didn’t happen here. No clue what they were thinking here but it didn’t work like at all.

Vince and Stephanie reunite post match. Rock gets up and all three McMahons take Rock Bottoms. Stephanie gets a People’s Elbow after hers and it looked like Rock grabbed a bit of something when he was getting up for it.

Overall Rating: D. This was….bad. The show itself is mostly watch, but THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA. This isn’t Judgment Day….scratch that as Judgment Day in 2000 was great. This isn’t some WCW show where watchable is a good night. WWF was incredible in 2000 and this is probably the weakest show of the year by far.

I have no idea what the thought process was here but it certainly didn’t work at all. There are two good matches here and more importantly, not one singles match. What the heck were they thinking here? That’s a very good question that I don’t think has ever gotten an answer. Terrible show overall and it just didn’t work, especially for Mania.

 

 

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Revolution 2021
Date: March 7, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Excalibur, Jim Ross

There is something rather pleasing about having another AEW pay per view. The company has such a great track record with these things and it should be awesome to see what they can do again. The main event is an exploding barbed wire deathmatch because….I have no idea why but it is certainly going to get them some attention. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Britt Baker/Rebel vs. Riho/Thunder Rosa

Hold on though as Rebel has been attacked (she’s on crutches so it must be true) so we have a replacement.

Pre-Show: Britt Baker/Maki Itoh vs. Riho/Thunder Rosa

Itoh sings her own entrance song rather loudly. Riho takes Baker down by the arm to start so it’s quickly off to the rope. Some dropkicks rock Baker and there’s a headscissors to put Baker down again. Rosa comes in to armbar Itoh down and it’s switched into a crossface. With that broken up, Rosa wins an exchange of forearms and Itoh starts to cry. A stomp to Rosa’s boot just makes her shoulder Itoh down and she drops Itoh face first onto the turnbuckle.

Riho comes in and gets dropped down onto Itoh for two of her own. Back up and they slug it out until Baker pulls Riho to the floor, where Rebel is suddenly fine enough to send her into the steps. Itoh misses a falling headbutt back inside so it’s back to Baker to stomp away. A missed charge allows the tag off to Rosa so house can be cleaned. The running backsplash gets two on Baker but a Sling Blade drops Rosa.

Now Itoh’s falling headbutt gets two but Rosa is right back with a Stunner. Itoh hits a tornado DDT for two so she goes up top, only to miss the falling headbutt. Riho comes back in and charges into a half crab from Itoh, meaning a rope has to be grabbed. Another headbutt is blocked with a shot to the head and it’s quickly back to Rosa vs. Baker for the exchange of rollups. Baker runs into Rebel by mistake and walks into the Death Valley Driver with Itoh making the save. Rebel gets in a crutch shot to Rosa to give Baker the pin at 14:52.

Rating: C+. It was certainly energetic and fast paced and it was quite nice to see Baker get the win. The Rebel swap was fine as Itoh certainly has a lot of charisma, though I’m not sure how long she is going to be around here. If it is a one off appearance then great, but I’d hope it isn’t someone else in the way of Baker getting her overdue Women’s Title.

The opening video looks at the big matches.

Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. Chris Jericho/MJF

The Bucks are defending and jump Jericho and MJF to start and hammer them out to the floor. Jericho and MJF send them together but stop to brag a bit, allowing the Bucks to take them down with stereo dives. The Bucks grab stereo Sharpshooters until the ropes are grabbed so Nick heads up top. This time Jericho is ready for it and hits the triangle dropkick to send him outside to take over.

Back in and a flapjack lets Jericho and MJF mock the Bucks’ pose. Nick flips over and slides between the legs to make the hot tag to Matt. The house cleaning doesn’t even get past the first room as MJF takes him down and gets in a Fargo Strut. Jericho hits a suplex as JR’s voice sounds like it is about to go out. A double suplex gets two on Matt and we hit the chinlock. Matt fights up but gets sent back into the corner, where he comes out with a double DDT.

It’s back to Nick to pick the pace way up, including the slingshot Canadian Destroyer for two on MJF. Everything breaks down with Matt hammering away at Jericho, who reverses into the Walls. That’s broken up so the Meltzer Driver is loaded up, only to have Jericho reverse into a Tombstone. Now the Walls can go on in full until Jericho stops to drag it back to the middle, allowing Matt to slip out. A missed charge in the corner crotches Jericho so MJF comes back in to counter a hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for two.

MJF gets rather cocky so Matt scoops him up for the Meltzer Driver, only to have Jericho hit the Codebreaker on Nick for the save. A Floyd the baseball bat sets up the Heatseeker for two on Matt and MJF is stunned. It’s back to Nick so the Bucks can hit stereo high crossbodies for two each. Jericho’s Judas Effect hits Wardlow by mistake but the Lionsault is superkicked out of the air. The BTE Trigger gets two as MJF makes the save, earning himself a trip to the floor. The Meltzer Driver finishes Jericho at 17:50.

Rating: B-. They did a nice job of making me buy into the drama off the Heatseeker so they had to be doing something right. There wasn’t much of a reason to believe new champions were coming here but they did a nice enough job of changing my mind throughout. Good opener, though it went on a little longer than it should have.

Post match we run down the card, with JR apologizing for how bad his voice sounds (fair enough as he sounds horrible).

Casino Battle Royale

It’s a tag team Royal Rumble with 15 teams announced coming in. There are ninety second intervals and both members have to be eliminated, with the winners becoming #1 contenders. At least they have the casino game to validate the gambling theme this time. The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes/QT Marshall) are in at #1 and the Dark Order (5/10) are in at #2 and the brawling is on in a hurry. Dustin snaps off the powerslam on 5 but Marshall is caught in a fall away slam/running dropkick combination. A double bulldog takes the Order down and it’s Santana/Ortiz in at #3.

House is cleaned but the Order knocks them both down. Marshall tosses 5 for the first elimination and has to hang on when 10 tries to toss him out as well. The Sydal Brothers are in at #4 and we get everyone brawling again with no one being tossed. The ring is getting a little full and the Dark Order (Evil Uno/Stu Grayson) are in at #5 to make it even more crowded. Everyone in the Dark Order teams up on Santana for a toss powerbomb and 10 adds a spinebuster. Mike Sydal was tossed in there somewhere so things are a little less full. The Gunn Club (Austin/Colton) are in at #6 and get to clean house for a bit.

The Quick Draw takes Santana down and Matt Sydal is out for the first full team elimination. Peter Avalon/Cezar Bononi are in at #7 and get in their own share of house cleaning. With no more eliminations, the Varsity Blonds (Brian Pillman Jr./Griff Garrison) are in at #8. The Gunn Club starts taking over with Peter Avalon being tossed. Bononi is in trouble but Marshall dumps both of them (despite them being part of the Nightmare Family). Dustin yells at him but Marshall eliminates himself and walks out as Bear Country (Bronson/Boulder, who I’ve never actually seen in the ring before) are in at #9.

A big boot to Grayson is enough for the Bears to toss him and Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy/Luchasaurus) is in at #10. Jungle Boy clotheslines Ortiz out and Luchasaurus does the same to Bononi to get rid of another team. There go Garrison, Santana and Evil Uno all at the Express’ hands and Butcher and the Blade are in at #11. The rest of the Dark Order is out thanks to interference from Jack Evans, leaving us with Dustin, Bear Country, the Jurassic Express and Butcher and Blade. Bunny gets involved and pulls Dustin out to get us down to six at the moment.

Private Party (Marq Quen/Isaiah Kassidy) are in at #12 to make it eight people at once and more brawling ensues. Stunt saves Pillman from being tossed it’s SCU (Christopher Daniels/Kazarian) in at #13. Luchasaurus breaks up their house cleaning but Bear Country tosses him out. Butcher dumps both Bears thanks to a Bunny distraction, only to have the two of them pull Butcher underneath the ropes to beat the heck out of him.

Rey Fenix and Pac are in at #14 to wreck a bunch of people and toss Quen and Blade. The brawling continues until the Dark Order (John Silver/Alex Reynolds are in at #15 to complete the field. Some rapid fire eliminations leave us with Fenix, Pac, Silver and Boy, leaving us with three teams over four entrants. Silver is almost tossed but manages to hang on with one hand and Fenix has to do the same. Pac and Silver slug it out with Silver kicking him up against the ropes but missing a charge into the snap German suplex.

Pac tosses Silver to the apron and Fenix walks the rope to kick him in the head for the elimination. Boy can barely get up but he manages to duck Pac’s kick to the head and low bridge him to the floor. That leaves Fenix vs. Boy in the staredown with Boy being knocked through the ropes to the floor in a hurry. Fenix hits a heck of a flip dive but Boy is right back with a clothesline back inside. There’s the poisonrana but Fenix kicks him in the head and tosses him out for the win at 26:47.

Rating: C+. I’m never sure how to rate these but they kept things moving quickly enough to keep it from being boring. That’s the key to something like this as while the ring got too full more than once, it was cleared out in a hurry near the end, which is what matters most. Fenix and Pac winning is the right call and it’s rather impressive that they are such a good team despite being thrown together. Good enough stuff here and the right team won.

Paul Wight says the big signing is here and gives us a hint: no one can out work him.

Diamond Dallas Page and Al Snow are here.

We recap Ryo Mizunami vs. Hikaru Shida for the Women’s Title. Mizunami was ready to retire until she showed up at Double Or Nothing and it revitalized her career. She won the #1 contenders tournament and is ready to go for the title.

Women’s Title: Hikaru Shida vs. Ryo Mizunami

Shida is defending and gets knocked into the corner early on. The chops have Shida in trouble but she sends Ryo face first into the buckle and hits her own chops. Ryo chops away even more until Shida sends her into the corner for a running knee. Another running knee gets two but Ryo counters the running knee off the chair into a powerbomb over the barricade.

Back in and Ryo hammers away until Shida gets in a kick to the face out of the corner. The missile dropkick gets two on Ryo so Shida takes her to the ramp for a sunset driver. Shida smiles a lot and takes her back inside for two off a suplex. They strike it out until Ryo nails a few clotheslines to take over. Shida hits some running knees to the face but can’t cover. They grab hands and get up for another slugout until Ryo hits a Rock Bottom.

The guillotine legdrop gets two so Shida snaps off a straitjacket suplex, with Ryo popping back up for a screaming clothesline. Another running knee sets up the Falcon Arrow for two on Ryo and a poke to the eye sets up a small package for the same. The running knee connects but Ryo reverses into a rollup for two more. Shida hits an enziguri for two more and she tries another Falcon Arrow…which looked to be countered into a DDT but seemed to be swung into a Rock Bottom to plant Rio instead. Another running knee gets two on Ryo, followed by another knee to retain the title at 15:46.

Rating: C-. I’m so sick of Shida with her 917 running knees offense mixed in with some Falcon Arrows to spice it up a bit. She has been champion for almost ten months now and it feels like she has had the same match throughout her reign. I didn’t get into this for the most part as a good bit of the work was sloppy and the abundance of knees had me begging for the thing to be over. Shida needs to drop the title almost immediately and the sooner it is to Baker, the better.

Post match Nyla Rose, Britt Baker and Rebel run in to jump Shida and Ryo but Thunder Rosa makes the save, likely setting up a six woman on Dynamite.

Miro and Kip Sabian jump Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy in the back but demand the music be played anyway. Taylor is busted open thanks to going into some glass and is dragged to the ring as Miro calls him Charles over and over. Miro offers him the chance to let it stop but Taylor says ring the bell.

Miro/Kip Sabian vs. Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy

There is no Cassidy and Taylor is clotheslined down in a hurry. Miro rubs Taylor’s blood on his chest and Sabian is in with a missile dropkick. Chuck is sent into the corner for a boot to the face and another dropkick from Sabian makes it worse. Taylor gets in a shot to the face as Cassidy staggers to the ring. Well part of the way as he falls down on the stage on the way there.

Cassidy pops up to Orange Punch Miro and Taylor knocks Sabian down, allowing Cassidy to get the hot tag. Everything breaks down with Cassidy hitting a dive onto Sabian but getting caught in a fireman’s carry gutbuster. The Deathly Hallows is broken up and Taylor tags himself in for a Beach Break/double stomp combination. A piledriver gets two on Sabian with Miro having to make a save.

Cassidy puts his hands in his pockets for the slow motion kicks to Miro (of course), who kicks him down (as you should). Cassidy is back with the Stundog Millionaire but is driven into Penelope Ford to knock her to the floor. Miro kicks Cassidy in the head and throws Sabian back inside so Miro can make the tag. The jumping kick to the face sets up Game Over to finish Taylor at 7:54.

Rating: D+. Now can we please move them both on to ANYTHING else? Miro getting the win makes sense, but I hope this isn’t setting up some Miro vs. Cassidy showdown. The match needed to be this short after everything else has felt long and thankfully they didn’t do anything stupid here like giving Cassidy a fluke pin. They need to move on though if they want to make Miro into something important as it isn’t happening against Taylor and Cassidy.

MJF and Chris Jericho aren’t happy with their loss so on Wednesday it is the Inner Circle War Council, when changes are coming. MJF seems to suggest that Jericho may be in trouble.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Hangman Page. Hardy wants to be Page’s manager/agent but Page tricked him into signing a contract where the winner gets the loser’s income for the first three months of the year. I’ve heard far worse ideas.

Matt Hardy vs. Hangman Page

Private Party is here with Hardy. Page ducks a right hand and hammers away in the corner as commentary talks about how Hardy has been wrestling almost as long as Page has been alive. There’s a fall away slam to Matt and they head outside with Page hitting an ax handle off part of the stage. Back in and Matt bails straight to the floor again, where he sends Page’s arm into the post.

The hand is wrapped around the post and sent into the steps with commentary wisely pointing out that it’s the Buckshot Lariat arm. Back in and Hardy bites the finger before bending the fingers back again. Page fights up and uses the right hand without thinking, which makes it even worse. The springboard clothesline puts Hardy down but the bad arm keeps Page down too. Hardy grabs a Twist of Fate on the floor and Page has to beat the count at nine.

Back in and Hardy German suplexes him off the top for two but Page is back up with a shot to the face. A clothesline puts them both on the floor as the fans are VERY into Hardy. Page is up first with a moonsault to take Hardy down again, followed by a sliding clothesline back inside. Deadeye is broken up and Hardy takes him down with a neckbreaker. Hardy catches him on top with a Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two more but the Twist of Fate is countered into the Deadeye.

That draws up Private Party for the distraction with Page having to get rid of both of them. The Buckshot Lariat is countered into the Side Effect (that looked good) and the Twist of Fate gets two (with commentary spoiling the kickout by shouting about how Matt is going to do it). Cue the Dark Order (all six members of them, which is not evening the odds as Excalibur calls it) to take care of Private Party, allowing Page to hit the Buckshot Lariat for the pin at 14:57.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I would have bet on, though the fans at ringside screaming for Hardy every two seconds were rather pesky. They went with the only result they could have chosen so at least nothing went too far here. Page with the Dark Order intrigues me, but I’d rather they keep it this way instead of him joining in full.

Post match Dark Order and Page celebrate with some beer.

Video on the Face Of The Revolution ladder match for a TNT Title shot on Wednesday and with a mystery entrant.

Max Castor vs. Lance Archer vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Penta El Cero Miedo vs. Scorpio Sky vs. ???

Ladder match and the mystery entrant is…Ethan Page. Eh works for me. It’s a brawl to start with various people being knocked outside. Archer grabs a ladder to hit Cody in the bad shoulder and hit Sky and Castor in the head. Penta kicks Archer down and hits the Sling Blade but gets caught with by Sky’s German suplex. Castor comes in to clear the ring but here is Jack Evans with the boom box, only to have Dark Order’s 10 run out to take care of him (because a six man ladder match needs another story going on).

The ladder is set up and Page kicks Cody down to get rid of him. Castor starts hitting everyone with the boom box, including a few shots to Cody’s bad shoulder. Penta uses the ladder for a ramp to flip dive onto Cody and Castor. Archer dropkicks Penta to the floor but Page is back in to tie Archer up in the ladder. Page can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl side slam on Sky so he settles for Splash Mountain to drop Sky onto the ladder onto Archer.

Said ladder is bridged between the ring and the barricade so let’s bring in another one. Cody has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Penta off the ladder but Penta is right back up with the Canadian Destroyer to drive Cody into the bridged ladder. That’s enough for Cody to be taken to the back (or at least to the entrance of the tunnel) as Sky pulls Castor off the ladder. Castor and Sky are up at the same time but Archer and Page join them. Everyone gets knocked off with Penta being up first for some kicking.

Sky pulls Penta down for the big crash, leaving Page and Castor to slug it out on the ladders again. Castor hits a huge sunset bomb to bring him down but Sky puts Castor onto the ladder in a crash. The frog splash crushes Castor onto the ladder and everyone is down again. Archer catapults Sky onto the ladder but then has to pull him back down. A jumping knee knocks Sky off the apron and through another ladder at ringside to put him way down.

Penta is back up to clean house but here’s Cody to whip a bunch of people with the belt. Archer suplexes Cody onto the bad arm and Castor adds an elbow drop off of the ladder to keep Cody down. Archer shoves the ladder over to take out Penta and Castor, followed by a string of chokeslams. The Black Out onto the ladder knocks Castor silly but Page powerbombs Archer off of the ladder.

That brings Jake Roberts in for a clothesline to Page but Penta kicks Roberts down. Cody is back up with the Cody….uh, slap to the face this time, to bring Penta off the ladder. Penta is right back up to take Cody off of the ladder but Sky cleans house with a chair. Cody and Sky slug it out on top of the ladder, with Sky being smart enough to pull on the bad arm. Cody gets knocked down and Sky wins at 23:16.

Rating: B. This was the spot fest that it needed to be and I’m rather pleased with Sky winning. Not just because I picked him to win, but also because he is the kind of smooth wrestler who can have a good match against anyone. Now they need to actually do something with him, because it feels like the kind of spot we have been in with him more than once before.

It’s time for the big signing and….yeah it’s Christian Cage. Cool moment as he was just in the Rumble, but dang I wanted to see Edge and Christian vs. the Usos. Christian signs without saying or doing anything else.

We recap Sting/Darby Allin vs. Team Taz. Allin has been getting on Team Taz’s nerves so they beat him up multiple times. Then Sting showed up to even the odds, meaning it’s cinematic match time.

Team Taz vs. Darby Allin/Sting

We go cinematic in a warehouse, with Allin hitching a ride on the back of a truck ala Back to the Future. Sting and Allin have an army of people in face paint to accompany them and we’re actually in a ring. Allin gets thrown over the top so he bounces off of a wall and back into the ring (Tony: “LIKE SPIDER!”) to drop Cage. They’re out of the ring in a hurry with Cage powerbombing one of the masked men against the apron. Cage drags Allin away from the ring as Sting hits the Stinger Splash on Starks.

A big camera zoom takes us across the building to Allin slipping out of a powerbomb attempt. Cage throws him through some doors as another Stinger Splash hits Starks. They leave the ring too with Sting grabbing the bat to chase Starks away. Starks says Sting is nothing without the bat so Sting throws it down and beats on Starks without it. We go back to Cage picking up Allin for a suplex and walking him up a flight of stairs (because he can just do that).

Back to Starks beating up Sting and throwing a barrel at his knees. Cage hits Starks in the head by mistake though and Allin is back with a bottle to Cage’s head. A double chokeslam puts Cage through a table and there’s a Coffin Drop off of a post to take Allin down. Cue Powerhouse Hobbs and Hook to beat Allin down and a big toss sends him through a window. Sting gets kicked in the ribs as JR says so much for this being a tag match.

With Sting in trouble, Allin pops up and throw him a bat (across the building and down a floor), which Sting breaks over Cage’s back. Allin then dives off of a balcony through Cage through part of the floor, leaving Starks and Sting to go back to the ring. The Stinger Splash hits exposed buckle and Starks spears him for two. Back up and Starks misses an elbow, setting up the Scorpion Death Drop to finish Starks at 13:49.

Rating: B. Your taste is going to entirely depend on what you think of cinematic matches so this could be quite the range of ratings. I’m not wild on the idea, but I would absolutely prefer this to a regular match for Sting. Starks taking the fall is frustrating but this is kind of a special circumstance. I know Sting isn’t going to be a regular wrestler and while he didn’t look bad here, he doesn’t need to be doing this very often.

Double Or Nothing is in May.

We run down the Dynamite card.

We recap Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega in an exploding barbed wire deathmatch. Moxley won’t leave Omega alone so he is picking this as a way to get rid of Moxley for good. Atsushi Onita talks about how dangerous the match is and violence is promised.

AEW World Title: Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega

Omega is defending and there is barbed wire everywhere. If you touch the barbed wire ropes something explodes, and if we go thirty minutes EVERYTHING EXPLODES. Don Callis in on commentary and the referee is in something resembling a hazmat suit. Moxley takes a shot of whiskey during the Big Match Intros and we’re ready to go. They take their time going to the lockup and Moxley blocks a drive into a barbed wire board in the corner. They chop it out until Omega grabs a headlock and Moxley can’t even suplex his way out of it.

Neither is able to send the other into the barbed wire board so Moxley sends him outside through the one section with no barbed wire. A Russian legsweep with a barbed wire baseball bat takes Omega down and there’s a kendo stick shot to the back. Back in and Omega throws powder into the eyes, meaning Moxley needs to blindly swing the barbed wire bat. Moxley is sent into the barbed wire for the first explosion for two.

Some kendo stick shots have Moxley in trouble and the Kitaro Crusher through a trashcan gets two. Back up and the rather bloody Moxley is sent into the barbed wire board in the corner, setting up Omega’s middle rope moonsault for two. Schiavone: “We have exactly twenty minutes before this ring explodes.” Moxley sends him into the ropes for an explosion and then dropkicks him into them for another.

Back up and Moxley suplexes Omega through another barbed wire board in the corner but a Paradigm Shift onto a barbed wire chair is blocked. Moxley sends Omega flying with a German suplex and a side slam onto the barbed wire chair has Omega in a lot of pain. The barbed wire is wrapped around Moxley’s arm but the running lariat is countered into a dragon suplex.

The V Trigger gets two and Moxley drives him into the wire, with the explosion going off in Omega’s face. They head to the apron for a slugout until Moxley hits a Paradigm Shift through the barbed wire board for a double explosion. They’re both down for a long time until Moxley pulls the wire off of the board. They get back in and we get a noise signaling that we are ten minutes away from the big explosions.

Omega gets in a low blow and there’s a V Trigger in the corner. Make that two in a row and the One Winged Angel gets two as Moxley puts his foot on the ropes for the explosion (clever). Cue the Good Brothers to beat on Moxley and an exploding barbed wire bat to the face gets two. The One Winged Angel through the chair retains the title at 25:09.

Rating: D+. For a barbed wire street fight, it was pretty good (assuming you don’t find “yeah he used barbed wire, but now he’s going to use MORE barbed wire” to be a rather dumb idea), but for something built around THE RING MIGHT EXPLODE, this was rather disappointing. The match was built around the danger and I was laughing when some sparklers and smoke went off. Throw in how ridiculous the barbed wire stuff was and this was horrible. Make it a regular barbed wire match and it’s FAR better, but the explosions being such a joke killed it.

Post match the beatdown stays on as we’re told the ring is going to explode no matter what because THERE IS NO FAIL SAFE. As I try to figure out why that would be a feature, Omega handcuffs Moxley’s hands behind his back and the big beatdown ensues as we kill off the last of the thirty minutes.

The one minute countdown is on and the handcuffed Moxley is in the ring. Eddie Kingston comes in to try and get him out….and a bit of pyro goes of around the ring. The pyro from the corners was smaller than what would come up during Diesel’s entrance and the stuff at ringside was even weaker. This was pathetic, and Kingston actually selling it makes things even worse. I actually can’t remember the last time I saw something so disappointing and it is going to be a rather black eye for AEW for a good while.

Overall Rating: C. There were some good parts to the show but I’m rather disappointed by the whole thing. It didn’t have anything that was must see, it felt rather long and then the ending was an all time letdown. Christian signing is cool and the cinematic match was good, but this is going to be remembered for one or two things and that’s it. They went too far with the build and now it is going to cause them trouble.

The ending was a good example of one of AEW’s biggest problems: they have to do too much. The main event ended with a One Winged Angel THROUGH A CHAIR. You could put Moxley on the shelf for three months with that and it would have been fine. But no, we need to (allegedly) blow up the ring because a move you could say broke his neck isn’t enough. That’s something they do far too often and it hurts them. I’m really disappointed and I don’t like that feeling with what is usually one of the best products out there.

If you ever needed proof that AEW needs someone to say no sometimes, this is it. One of the things that a lot of people were saying was it was going to be ridiculous and they were hyping it up too much because that’s over the top. Well this is what we wound up with because AN EXPLODING RING is kind of a stupid idea. Tony Khan needed to say no and just let them have the barbed wire match and move on. They’ll be fine in a bit after this, but this was a step back for them and that is a new situation for them to be in.

Results

Young Bucks b. Chris Jericho/MJF – Meltzer Driver to Jericho

Rey Fenix/Pac won the Casino Battle Royale last eliminating Jungle Boy

Hikaru Shida b. Ryo Mizunami – Running knee

Miro/Kip Sabian b. Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy – Game Over to Taylor

Hangman Page b. Matt Hardy – Buckshot Lariat

Scorpio Sky won the Face Of The Revolution ladder match

Sting/Darby Allin b. Team Taz – Scorpion Death Drop to Starks

Kenny Omega b. Jon Moxley – One Winged Angel through a chair

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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It has been a few months now and in AEW’s world, that means it is time for another pay per view. There is something very, very refreshing about that as I don’t need a pay per view every month and given that AEW’s worst ever pay per view was still completely watchable, we should be in for something good here. The card isn’t the strongest but they know how to execute so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Riho/Thunder Rosa vs. Britt Baker/Rebel

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Baker was eliminated from the #1 contenders tournament like it was absolutely nothing, but then again the women’s division has been kind of a mess. I can’t picture a world in which Baker is not Women’s Champion before the end of the year though and I think that road might be starting sooner than expected.

That being said, I’ll go with Riho/Rosa here, as AEW is likely going to want to reheat Riho after her tournament loss. Baker needs it too, but I’m not sure I can picture them going with her over some of the other options. Baker is going to be over no matter what because she is so awesome at so many different things, though I don’t think that equals a win here. Riho and Rosa win, hopefully pinning Rebel if they have to.

Women’s Title: Hikaru Shida(c) vs. Ryo Mizunami

This is the result of the weeks long international #1 contenders tournament (because reasons) and the big result is a match that was set up years ago….in another promotion….in Japan. That’s about all of the explanation we have been given, as Mizunami has barely been around the company, but what does that matter when she has done some great things elsewhere that we might not have seen or even heard of in the first place?

I’ll take Shida here, even though her title reign is LONG overdue and she needs to drop the thing already. However, I’m not sure Mizunami is the best choice as we don’t know anything about her other than she and Shida were once partners. This match should be fine, but it isn’t something I’m going to have that much interest in given what we have had to build it up so far.

Miro/Kip Sabian vs. Orange Cassidy/Chuck Taylor

This feud has been going for a few months now and I’m still not quite sure I get the appeal. Miro has lost any momentum he had on the way into the company, Sabian has pretty much disappeared, Taylor is Taylor and Cassidy was upset that someone was forced to say they weren’t friends. How that sets up an important pay per view match is beyond me, but that’s what we have here.

For the sake of hope, I’ll go with Sabian/Miro here, as the two of them really need a win to build up some momentum. It helps that they have gotten away from the gaming thing for the most part but that doesn’t exactly leave them with much to go on. This feud has been a rather dull way to go but AEW seems to love all of them (some are a good bit more valuable than others) and here we are. Miro and Sabian win, as they certainly need it more.

Casino Tag Team Royale

What is with this company’s gambling obsession? Anyway, this is basically a tag team Royal Rumble for a future title shot and they have fifteen teams announced so far. Battle royals (and they have a lot of them around here) are hard to predict as you can get anyone into the title shot in a hurry, which makes them kind of hard to predict. That means you can go a lot of different ways so it’s kind of a guess as to who is winning.

I’ll take Rey Fenix/Pac to win, as that squash on Wednesday was more than enough to make me think they are next in line for a shot at the titles. If nothing else, watching those two beat each other up with the dives can be rather entertaining television and it isn’t like a lot of the teams have a realistic chance in the first place. Pac and Fenix win, but this could go in a lot of different directions.

Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks(c) vs. Chris Jericho/MJF

This started off as an interesting feud but then fell apart in a hurry. The whole thing with the Bucks’ father (and their insult to Jericho that makes them sound rather dumb once you think about it) wasn’t good but it’s all they have. You would think Jericho and MJF could talk anything into being interesting but for some reason they haven’t been able to make it work. It could be the Bucks being the least likable faces in a long time, but the match should work out better than the build.

Of course the Bucks win here, as it’s hard to imagine them losing those titles for a very long time to come. The Bucks are major stars in AEW and it makes sense to have them in the title picture. Jericho and MJF seem destined to be on a collision course somewhere down the road and I can’t imagine them winning or even needing the titles to make that story work. The Bucks retain here, as they should.

Face Of The Revolution Ladder Match

This is for a TNT Title shot because, much like kidnappings, battle royals, tournaments and gambling, this company loves ladder matches for title shots. The big question here is who fills in the final spot and I have no idea who that might be. Christian seems to be the fancy pick at the moment, but I don’t want to see someone with a history of concussions in a match this violent.

As for a winner, I’m going with some instinct and picking Scorpio Sky, though you never know with something like this. It’s hard to predict a match when you don’t even have the full field but this makes for a nice build for the drama alone. I’m not overly sure about Sky winning, but he certainly makes for an interesting option and I’ll go with that for the win here.

Hangman Page vs. Matt Hardy

This is for the loser’s income for the first three months of the year and my goodness I cannot bring myself to care about Hardy. The character is interesting enough but as soon as I hear the Hardy name attached, all of the positives are overshadowed. The match itself should work as Page is charismatic enough to get around anything, but fighting over money with Hardy sounds like the result of a bad lawsuit instead of an angle.

Again for the sake of my sanity I’ll hope for Page to win here, as there is little reason to go with Hardy. Page having some more money and Hardy being broke or needing more clients is a better story, though I’m not sure how far anything is going to take these two. Hardy doesn’t need to win here but I’m a bit scared that he might anyway, just due to his star power and name value. Still though, Page should win.

Sting/Darby Allin vs. Team Taz

It’s cinematic time and that is the best thing they could do with Sting. I know he handled the powerbomb well enough (as in he was perfectly fine a week later) but he really doesn’t need to be in a full on match. The cinematic matches aren’t my favorite but if they have to have Sting wrestle (and it is hard not to), this is absolutely the right way to go about doing it.

I’m actually not sure who to pick here, as Team Taz needs the win more, but you don’t want to have either the debuting legend or the champion losing. It really could go either way but I’ll take Sting and Allin to win as they make for the better story. Sting can put someone over later and Allin is going to have a new #1 contender so he isn’t going to need to deal with taking a loss here.

AEW World Title: Kenny Omega(c) vs. Jon Moxley

When Omega announced this as the Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch, I completely expected him to laugh and say “nah I’m kidding, it’s a cage match”. This is as over the top as you can get and feels like they are doing it because Tony Khan looked at his tape collection and decided what he felt like doing today. I get the reason for the stipulation in the end, but there are a bunch of ways to get there without going this direction.

Omega wins here, as the entire point of the match would seem to be to blow Moxley up so he goes away while his wife has their baby. That’s all well and good and the match will probably have some good drama/violence/action, but I’d be curious to know how many people aren’t going to watch or pay or pay for the show because of how ridiculous the stipulation is. I know it isn’t a majority, but there are going to be some out there because this is pretty insane and not in the best way.

Overall Thoughts

AEW has done an excellent job in their first year and a half because this show isn’t very appealing match by match but it’s an AEW pay per view and therefore it has my interest. They have done rather well at pay per views over their lifespan and the reputation is enough to carry this thing. That’s a rare place to be and if things here even exceed expectations by a little bit, everything should be more than fine.

 

Oh and the big signing.  Eh play it safe and go with Kurt Angle.

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: February 10, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

We’re still starting to get on the road to Revolution and that means we might find out a few more matches on the way there. The big story from last week was the surprise debut of Kenta, who signals the new relationship with New Japan Pro Wrestling. That could certainly lead in a few different directions so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

TNT Title: Joey Janela vs. Darby Allin

Allin is defending and we actually hear about a PWG match between the two of them. Feeling out process to start with Darby sending him arm first into the corner. Joey knocks him to the floor for the suicide elbow and laughs a lot. Back in and Joey grabs a bodyscissors with some bonus fishhooks to the jaw. Allin fights up and sends Janela to the apron, only to get caught with a shot to the eye. Back in and Allin nails a shotgun dropkick into the corner and then snaps the arm down onto the top rope.

Janela gets knocked outside for the suicide dive into the barricade for the big crash. They head inside again with Allin grabbing the Fujiwara armbar to send Janela over to the ropes. Allin’s springboard Coffin Drop is countered into a German suplex (that looked good) but Allin flips around to hit a Stunner for two. Janela is right back with a piledriver for two, followed by a trio to the top. Allin cranks on the arm up top and hits a super sunset bomb for another near fall. The Coffin Drop retains the title at 8:49.

Rating: C+. I’m still not big on Janela but they got into a nice groove with the trading big spots by the end. Throw in Allin’s complete lack of worry about hurting himself for the sake of a spot and it works out well enough. The lack of Team Taz hurt a bit as they kept talking about it, but at least it let Allin look better without some kind of shenanigans.

We look back at Kenta’s debut and preview the rest of the show.

Jon Moxley is used to Kenta calling him out and last week Kenta showed up to look like a dork. Kenta and Kenny Omega must have gotten together on some Bullet Club message board and decided to come after him. They’ll meet later this month but tonight it’s unsanctioned with Moxley teaming up with Lance Archer to face the two of them. Tonight, it’s just for fun.

Sammy Guevara comes in to see the Inner Circle and asks to speak to Maxwell Jacob Friedman alone. Everyone leaves but Sammy wants the cameraman to stay. Sammy knows that MJF is trying to take over the Inner Circle but MJF has no idea what’s going on. When MJF first got into the Inner Circle, he thought Sammy was just jealous.

Now though, he understands that Sammy really hates Chris Jericho. Sammy must think that he should be the front man because Sammy wants to take over the Inner Circle. That leaves Sammy so incredulous that he repeats it, which is exactly what MJF, and his phone, wanted to hear. Sammy punches him in the ribs and leaves him laying.

Cody Rhodes/Lee Johnson vs. Cezar Bononi/Peter Avalon

Arn Anderson is here with Cody and Johnson, with Arn’s son in the crowd. JR: “His face looks like it belongs on a can of beef stew.” Cody works on Avalon’s arm to start and hands it off to Johnson, who is quickly headlocked. Bononi comes in off a blind tag and gets in a hard shot to drop Johnson. A moonsault lets Lee flip over Avalon and a dropkick scores as well. That’s enough to send Avalon over to Bononi again but a jawbreaker lets Lee make his own tag.

A pumphandle flip slam drops Cody on his face and we take a break. Back with Cody catching Avalon’s springboard in a fireman’s carry gutbuster. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Lee, who drops Avalon with a neckbreaker. One heck of a corkscrew flip dive takes Bononi down and a fisherman’s buster onto the knee gets two on Avalon as Bononi makes the save. Bononi cleans house and drops Lee face first, though he’s fine enough to grab a rollup for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C+. This was a way to showcase Lee and that worked out well enough. Having Cody interested in teaming with Lee is going to make him look even better so if they can make a new star out of him, well done. It’s not like Avalon and Bononi losing means anything either so no one is hurt here, meaning it’s a nice little success.

Post match the Nightmare Family comes out to celebrate Johnson’s first win in AEW, making him 1-29. The Nightmare Family is his family.

The Young Bucks run into the Good Brothers, who find it funny that the Bucks lost last week’s battle royal. The Bucks were going to pick the Good Brothers if they won but the Brothers are more interested in promoting Impact Wrestling’s No Surrender this weekend. As for around here though, the Brothers think the Bucks should be mad at Santana and Ortiz, so the Bucks agree to give Santana and Ortiz and title shot next week. Nick reluctantly gives a too sweet.

Matt Hardy interrupts Hangman Page and suggests a tag team. For tonight though, Matt has rented out a private bar for the two of them and the tab is on Matt all night long. That works for Page, who runs into the Dark Order. They offer him a spot drinking with them but he mentions Matt and things are cool enough.

Pac vs. Ryan Nemeth

Fenix is here with Pac. They circle each other to start and Pac knocks him down with ease. Some kicks have Nemeth in more trouble and Pac even knocks him to the floor. Back in and Nemeth does his best Dolph Ziggler impression with the jumping DDT. Pac isn’t exactly having that though and drops Nemeth again, setting up the Black Arrow. The Brutalizer makes Nemeth tap at 4:19.

Rating: C-. There’s something special about Pac giving up a bit of offense but just turning it on to win in the end because he knows there is no one that can stop him. Pac has shaken the ring rust off and looks like his old killer self again and that’s a great thing. Nemeth isn’t much in the ring and just makes me think he’s Ziggler’s lame little brother (I mean….).

We look back at last week’s zany wedding, with Miro swearing vengeance on Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor.

Cassidy and Taylor are drinking the champagne with Cassidy asking what they thought was going to happen last week. Taylor: “Obviously Orange Cassidy was going to pop out of a cake.”

MJF, now with taped ribs, comes up to Chris Jericho and says Sammy punched him in the ribs. There might have been some breaking involved! Jericho says it’s ok and they’ll deal with this after their match.

Acclaimed vs. Chris Jericho/MJF

Max Castor knocks MJF out to the floor to start, with the ribs getting banged up even more. Back in and Castor drops Jericho as well, setting up Anthony Bowens’ slingshot elbow. MJF comes back in but gets planted down on the ribs for two. Bowens is eventually taken into the corner though and it’s a double flapjack, allowing Jericho and MJF to step over him for a rather snobby moment.

Back from a break with Castor reversing MJF’s abdominal stretch into one of his own. That’s enough for the tag off to Bowens, who picks up the pace with dropkicks. Bowens grabs a torture rack and spins MJF down for a faceplant before having to knock Santana off the apron. Jericho’s Lionsault is broken up with a boom box shot for two but Jake Hager pushes Castor off the top. The Judas Effect finishes for Jericho at 9:05.

Rating: C. I haven’t been impressed by the Acclaim so far so it was nice to see them have a pretty decent match tonight. It’s even better to see that Jericho seems to be a little bit more motivated (and maybe a tad bit slimmer) as the Inner Circle continues to do something fresh. Good little match though and this worked out well enough.

Post match the Inner Circle celebrates but here’s Sammy Guevara to interrupt. Jericho asks him what’s going on, and Sammy brings up what he said on December 9: if MJF did one more thing, Sammy was out. Well now he’s done, because he quits. And there’s the face turn (or at least part of the face turn) that Sammy has been primed for over the last few months.

Post break, Sammy leaves the building.

Hangman Page and Matt Hardy are drinking at the bar but Hardy isn’t as well versed with some of the choices. Hardy makes his sales pitch as the agent and even has a contract offer. Page actually agrees but, as Matt talks to the camera, switches the papers and signs something else. He has Matt sign as well but Matt is too excited to notice and leaves with whatever Page had him sign.

Tony Schiavone brings out Sting for an interview but Team Taz interrupts, showing that they have Darby Allin in a body bag. Allin, still in the bag, is tied to the car and dragged across the parking lot. Sting gives chase as we take a break.

Earlier today, Alex Marvez tried to talk to Kenny Omega on the golf course but has to wait for the shot. Marvez asks what Omega is doing when he has such a big main event coming up. Omega says he’s already the best wrestler ever so now it’s time to prepare mentally and spiritually her eon the golf course. Don Callis praises Kenny for his alleged eagle (ignore the adjusting of the ball while Omega and Marvez talked) and lets Marvez have the ball as a souvenir. Marvez asks for a ride but gets turned down. Maybe because Callis and Omega are on foot?

Women’s Title Eliminator Tournament First Round: Thunder Rosa vs. Leyla Hirsch

Rosa gets an inset interview talking about her goals of becoming champion. Hirsch takes her down a few times to start but Rosa gets in a slam and scores with a running backsplash. Back up and Hirsch pulls her down into the waistlock, followed by the running up the ropes for an armdrag. A suicide dive drops Rosa again but she’s right back in, where Hirsch pulls her down by the arm. That’s broken up as well and Rosa snaps off a neckbreaker over the middle rope.

We take a break and come back with Rosa hitting some sling shot knees in the corner. The running basement dropkick in the corner gives Rosa two but Hirsch shoves her off the top. A high crossbody gives Hirsch two but her moonsault hits raised knees. Rosa loads up a fire thunder driver, only to have Hirsch pull her down into a triangle choke. That’s countered with a powerbomb though and Rosa’s layout inverted reverse DDT finishes at 9:15.

Rating: C+. Hirsch continues to be someone they see something in and I can’t say I blame them a bit. There is always going to be a place for someone with her amateur skills and she makes things feel different. Then you have Rosa though and the star power is all over her, hence why she is likely going to make a deep run in this thing.

We run down the first round of the Japanese half of the bracket. The matches will air on YouTube this coming Monday.

Jungle Boy talks about his great match with Dax Harwood, where Boy won by submission. No the Jurassic Express didn’t want o have FTR suspended, so as soon as possible, Boy is making Harwood his b****.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Kenta/Kenny Omega vs. Jon Moxley/Lance Archer

Falls Count Anywhere and Kenta gets in a briefcase (his #1 contendership to Moxley’s US Title) shot to Moxleys’s back to start. Some kicks to Archer’s knee lets Omega hit the Kitaro Crusher but he and Kenta get in an argument. That’s enough for Archer and Moxley to fight back, though they don’t seem to trust one another either. The running clotheslines in the corner have Omega and Kenta in trouble again. Omega and Archer are knocked outside but it’s too early for the GTS to Moxley.

Instead here’s Omega with a trashcan to knock Moxley silly and then put the trashcan on the post. That means the moonsault with the trashcan onto Moxley and it’s time to cringe a bit. It’s time to bring in a ladder but Moxley fights back and hits a suicide dive on Kenta as Archer supelxes Omega into said ladder.

We take a break, coming back with Kenta and Omega fighting near the stage….and here’s Peter Avalon (out of his heart shaped bed) to interrupt and take the GTS it as well. Archer chokeslams Omega onto said bed and Moxley kicks Kenta in the face for two. Moxley knocks Kenta around the arena and then up the steps near the door Moxley uses every week.

Archer leaves Omega laying and goes after them but they have wound up in a kitchen. A DDT puts Moxley onto a metal table and the YES Lock goes on, only to have Archer make the save with a bag of potatoes. Moxley grabs one and hits Omega, getting to say that “he potatoed him”.

We look back at the rest of the match and come back with Omega and Moxley coming back to the arena. Moxley gets in a few kendo stick shots to Omega as they head inside again. Omega V Triggers Moxley out of the air and out to the floor though as the things slow back down. Cue Archer and Kenta to fight on the stage with Archer loading up a powerbomb through the announcers’ table. That’s broken up though and Kenta hits a running double stomp to put Moxley through a ringside table.

Archer sees Omega in the middle of the ring so Omega grabs the kendo stick. That shot is easily blocked so Omega goes after the knee. Archer is fine enough to hit a chokeslam though and the ladder is tossed to the floor. The rope walk moonsault gives Archer two but Omega slips out of the Blackout.

Cue the Good Brothers so Archer knocks them down and shrugs off Kenta’s spinning backfists. The Brothers get in though and Anderson hits Archer with the Gun stun. Jake Roberts gets in so Anderson uppercuts him down but Omega’s V Trigger is broken up. The Brothers low blow Archer to cut him off though and there’s the Magic Killer. The One Winged Angel is enough to finish Archer at 19:53.

Rating: B-. This is going to be a case where your individual tastes may heavily vary but there was too much going on here and it got a little too goofy at times. Stuff like Peter Avalon and the potatoes make for some good gags but they didn’t quite fit with the anger and violence that seemed to be the idea here. Not a bad match at all and it was certainly wild, though just not my thing for this one.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show pretty well this week, though we’re still far enough out from Revolution that it’s ok to not set up a lot of the card just yet. You can see the pieces being put together at the moment and, as usual, if this is one of their weaker shows, they’re going to be just fine. This worked out well enough and I’m curious to see where things go, which is more than a lot of companies are accomplishing these days.

Results

Darby Allin b. Joey Janela – Coffin Drop

Cody Rhodes/Lee Johnson b. Cezar Bononi/Peter Avalon – Rollup to Avalon

Pac b. Ryan Nemeth – Brutalizer

Chris Jericho/MJF b. Acclaimed – Judas Effect to Castor

Thunder Rosa b. Leyla Hirsch – layout inverted reverse DDT

Kenny Omega/Kenta b. Jon Moxley/Lance Archer – One Winged Angel to Archer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Dynamite
Date: February 3, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

It’s time for another special show because AEW loves itself some special shows. This time around it’s Beach Break, because when you think February, you think of the beach. The big draws this time are a six man tag and a wedding on the beach, one of which feels like a prime location for some wacky shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Jurassic Express, Chris Jericho/MJF, Stu Grayson/Evil Uno, Alex Silver/John Reynolds, Private Party, Acclaimed, Sammy Guevara/Jake Hager, Santana/Ortiz, Young Bucks, Top Flight

Both members have to be eliminated for a change and the winners get the Bucks at Revolution for the titles (though the Bucks can pick their opponents if they win). During the entrances, Sammy Hagar himself predicts Guevara and Hager winning, despite sounding like he has no idea what is going on. FTR isn’t here due to being suspended after last week. The Bucks dive off the stage to take everyone out before the bell. They all get inside with Isaiah Kassidy diving off the top and…..I have no idea as the camera cuts away.

Dante Martin gets put out in a hurry and Hager knocks out Alex Reynolds as we see a replay of Kassidy missing everyone. John Silver manages to eliminate Hager in a big upset and the entire Dark Order celebrates. Matt Jackson and Alex Bowens are tossed out and it’s Luchasaurus getting to clean house. Grayson makes the mistake of trying to get rid of Luchasaurus and is chokeslammed out. Silver and Uno toss Luchasaurus though, only to have Uno get tossed seconds later to get rid of our first full team.

The Silly String is broken up by Darius Martin (JR: “Did you hear that kids? THE SILLY STRING GOT BLOCKED!”) and Marq Quen is out. Silver suplexes Acclaimed down at the same time but they toss him out in a big bump. Nick takes down Jericho and Ortiz with a high crossbody and then knocks out Santana and Ortiz on his own. The Good Brothers are watching from ringside and low bridge Kassidy out to get rid of Private Party. MJF knocks out the distracted Nick and it’s time for a double pose from MJF and Jericho.

We’re down to MJF/Jericho, Guevara, Jungle Boy, Max Castor and Darius Martin. That sets up something like a six man tag with MJF sending Boy to the apron but not out. The rest of the Inner Circle helps on Boy but Martin and Castor make a save. Another attempt is enough to get rid of Boy though and it’s MJF having a staredown with Guevara. Castor breaks that up but Sammy superkicks him down.

Sammy isn’t happy with that, but he’s happy with Castor backdropping MJF out. Martin gets rid of Castor, and we’re down to Martin vs. Jericho vs. Guevara. A double DDT plants Jericho and Guevara so Martin goes after Sammy, with Jericho tossing Sammy out. Jericho sends Martin to the apron though and it’s the Judas Effect for the final elimination at 11:36.

Rating: C+. This worked out better than I would have bet on as they kept it short but also had a nice twist on having the double eliminations deal. I can get that going either way, but it worked out well here and that’s something nice to see in a match that rarely goes all that well given the nature of the thing. If nothing else, having MJF getting more TV time to set things up should be a great thing.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Video on Jade Cargill, or at least her training.

Tony Schiavone brings out Darby Allin and Sting (dig that snow at the beach) for a chat. Hold on though as before they can say anything, Team Taz interrupts from the parking lot. They aren’t happy that Allin is defending the TNT Title against Joey Janela next week. They’re going to be watching and might even get involved. Ricky Starks doesn’t think Sting is an Icon or the Man Called Sting, because Sting will get hurt playing in the jungle. Sting says that’s fine with him, because he’ll be here next week to make sure everything is fair. As for Starks saying he doesn’t see the old Sting anymore, maybe he needs to take a closer look.

Video on Britt Baker vs. Thunder Rosa, which has been a pretty well built match.

Britt Baker vs. Thunder Rosa

Rebel is here with Baker. Rosa charges to the ring to start and we’re off in a hurry, with Rosa going after the arm. Some chops in the corner are broken up and Baker takes her down into a crossface chickenwing. A running dropkick in the corner gives Rosa two but she misses a charge into the corner and bangs up the knee. Baker wraps the leg around the rope and pulls the shoulder into the post to keep Rosa in trouble. They fight out to the floor with Rosa sending her into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Rosa hitting a running corner clothesline, followed by some slingshot knees. Baker’s running dropkick gets two and they’re both down for a bit. It’s Rosa up first but her piledriver is countered into an Air Raid Crash for two. We pause for a second for Rosa to tie her top back up but manages to block the Lockjaw. A running stomp into a crucifix has Rosa in trouble but she counters Lockjaw again.

They keep rolling around until Rosa manages a suplex to escape. The Death Valley Driver gets two on Baker and it’s time to crank on the arm, only to have Rebel come in and rip off a turnbuckle pad. The distraction gets Baker out of trouble and it’s the Downward Spiral into the exposed buckle. Rosa is out and Lockjaw is academic to give Baker the win at 13:11.

Rating: B. Rather good stuff here and it’s nice to see Baker getting the big win. I’m still not sure how long it is going to take to get her into the title picture but it seems like something that should have happened months ago. Rosa looked awesome as well and the combination made for one of the better matches the women’s division has seen in the company’s history.

We look at Hangman Page dressing in Matt Hardy’s rather large dressing room but Page says they aren’t a team and have no agreement. Matt proposes a team for tonight and it seems to be on.

Hangman Page/Matt Hardy vs. Chaos Project

Page isn’t having a good week as he lost $400 playing with stocks. Matt hammers Serpentico in the corner to start and it’s off to Page for a running shooting star press for two. Matt’s shirt comes off for the middle rope elbow to Serpentico’s arm. There’s the Side Effect but Luther comes in off a blind tag for a chop in the corner.

Some running shots connect in the corner, including one where Luther hits Serpentico by mistake. Serpentico misses a Swanton though and the hot tag brings in Page to start cleaning house. Luther is sent outside and there’s a discus right hand to Serpentico. The Buckshot Lariat is broken up but Page takes Luther down, setting up the Buckshot Lariat. Hardy tags himself in and steals the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure how interesting a Hardy/Page story would be but it’s something for Page to do to bridge the gap to whatever his next big thing is. Hardy has more than a few things going on already so it isn’t like he needs this feud. Page seems to have an issue with teams though and that might be the case again.

We look at the women’s #1 contenders tournament, which will be held in Japan and America. Here are the talent pools (without brackets):

Aja Kong

Yuka Sakazaki

Veny

Emi Sakura

Ryo Mizunami

Mei Suruga

Rin Kadokura

Maki Itoh

Serena Deeb

Riho

Britt Baker

Tay Conti

Thunder Rosa

Nyla Rose

Anna Jay

Leyla Hirsch

Hopefully some of these matches are presented in highlights because fifteen matches in about a month is a lot (assuming it ends at Revolution).

Jericho and MJF have the cooler ready for the celebration with the Inner Circle but they aren’t happy with losing. Jericho leaves and MJF says it’s time for a meeting, with Wardlow closing the door.

Miro, Kip Sabian and Charles Taylor are ready for the wedding.

And now we go to the ring, with Vickie Guerrero escorting Kip Sabian. James Mitchell is the officiant, who commentary doesn’t seem to recognize because….reasons. Jerry Lynn brings out Penelope Ford who is wearing….well not much really. They do their own vows, with Sabian talking about looking at Ford’s chest when she was wearing a one piece with boots and knew she was the one. Penelope says Sabian has the biggest and we’ll just cut her off there.

Taylor hands Miro the ring and Mitchell asks if Sabian takes Ford to have and to group, kayfabing all others for as long as they both shall live. Ford is asked if she takes this dashing rapscallion (that’s a great word) for the same things and she’s in as well. They go to the “speak now” deal but Miro cuts it off because he’s been burned too many times before. Mitchell, as empowered by Tony Khan, says they’re married and Ford can kiss the ball and chain.

It’s time for a toast, with Miro saying he’s been here before and it’s all about love. But what is love? He has no present for them because his knowledge, power and viciousness is their present. Hold on though as there is a big present, which is from Charles Taylor. Miro beats up the box and….there is nothing in it. Even Schiavone doesn’t blame him so Miro goes back to the toast, but the fans sing WHAT IS LOVE in a funny bit.

It’s time for the cake but Taylor decks Sabian as Miro has been shackled to the rope. Ford is sent face first into the cake. Sabian punches Miro by mistake so he beats Taylor down…..and Orange Cassidy is in the cake. Taylor hits Sabian in the head with something and it’s a Beach Break to leave Sabian laying. They had some good tongue in cheek bits here and it worked out rather well. I’m still not sure why the announcers didn’t know who Mitchell was but that’s a minor point at best.

We go to Inside The NBA where Shaquille O’Neal agrees to team with Jade Cargill to face Red Velvet/Cody Rhodes. Shaq demonstrates the Black Tornado, which seems to be the Judas Effect. I was hoping for the Kazam Slam. Anyway the match is on the March 3 Dynamite.

Eddie Kingston vs. Lance Archer

No DQ lumberjack match with Jake Roberts on the floor, but not as a lumberjack. Archer is pulled outside for a beating from Butcher and Blade but the other lumberjacks come over to glare. Then Billy Gunn actually throws Eddie Kingston back in….which doesn’t sit well with Kingston because he wants to fight with the lumberjacks instead. Archer hits the big dive off the apron to take everyone down so we take a break.

Back with Archer going back inside for a full nelson slam and snapping off a suplex. The Bunny comes in for the save but gets loaded up for the Black Out. Kingston makes the save with the spinning backfist to send Archer outside as Roberts takes out Angelico. Back in and Eddie hits an exploder for two so Butcher loads up a table in the corner. That means a brawl between Butcher/Blade and Bear Country, with the table being broken in the corner. Archer catches Kingston on the top for the Black Out and the pin at 9:04.

Rating: B-. There was a lot going on here and it distracted from things a bit, but the brawling they had worked out well. Archer needed the win to boost him back up and there is a good chance that we will be seeing them fight again in one more blowoff. I certainly do appreciate them making it clear that it was No DQ as it can be rather annoying to have a match like this get too insane otherwise. Pretty good stuff here.

FTR is livid about being banned from the battle royal over attacking a dinosaur. Tully Blanchard rants about what it takes to get a title shot….and they pull over a handcuffed and gagged Marko Stunt. Can they pay someone to get rid of him? I’m sure a circus could use him as elephant food or something.

Joey Janela talks about his history with Darby Allin. Next week, the stakes have never been higher though and Janela is winning the title. This could have been far worse.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Jon Moxley/Pac/Rey Fenix

Don Callis is on commentary. Anderson shoulders Pac down to start but Pac comes back with a shot of his own. It’s off to Gallows vs. Moxley with Jon slugging away, only to get hit in the face. Moxley takes him down again and drops an elbow for two but Gallows powers him into the corner for the tag off to Anderson. That’s fine with Moxley, who drives Anderson into the corner for the tag to Pac.

A series of standing moonsaults get two on Anderson but Omega catches Pac on top so Gallows can hit a kick to the head. Pac gets slammed off the top and it’s off to Omega, who can’t hit a suplex. Instead Pac hits a snap German suplex so it’s back to Moxley to hit a release suplex on Anderson. Moxley’s slingshot dive to the floor takes out Gallows and a suicide dive (with Moxley hitting the brakes before he goes flying into something hard) drops the Good Brothers.

We take a break and come back with Moxley countering a powerbomb into a quickly broken Figure Four on Gallows. Moxley low bridges Gallows to the floor and avoids an Anderson charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Fenix. Omega is waiting on him so Fenix kicks everyone in the face, setting up a springboard high angle spinning headbutt. Pac comes in for a dropkick to Omega and we get stereo moonsaults to the floor with Pac and Fenix taking down the Good Brothers.

Back in and Fenix moonsaults into a rolling cutter on Omega (that was sweet) for two more. Omega crotches Fenix on top though and it’s a hanging snapdragon to drop Fenix on his head. Gallows kicks Fenix’s head off for two but Pac tags himself back in to strike away, including a sliding kick to the side of Gallows’ head for two. Another superkicks drops Pac though and it’s time for the parade of shots in the corner to crush Pac. Omega hits a Liger Bomb for two on Pac and there’s the V Trigger to rock him again.

The One Winged Angel is broken up so it’s Fenix and Moxley coming back in to beat Omega up. Pac’s great looking bridging German suplex gets two and it’s time for the Moxley vs. Omega slugout. That’s broken up by the parade of shots to the face and Omega hits a Paradigm Shift on Moxley. Pac breaks that up with a 450 so it’s back to Anderson, who gets caught with a Gun Stun from Moxley. Fenix’s double springboard moonsault press gets two but Anderson catches him with a spinebuster. The Magic Killer finishes Fenix at 15:28.

Rating: A-. Now this was the kind of match you would have expected and it makes me want to see more of Pac and Fenix. They more than held their own here and I could go for a lot more of everyone involved. These guys had a heck of a mostly non-stop action match and I wanted to see how it was going to end. Awesome main event here and one of the better matches AEW has had in a long time.

Post match Moxley comes back in to go after Omega but the beatdown is on. Cue Lance Archer to go after Omega and the Good Brothers (that’s interesting), leaving Moxley and Omega alone (JR: “We’re looking for a three count here.”). Moxley gets up but someone jumps him from behind…..and it’s Kenta to jump him from behind for the Go To Sleep (which Moxley doesn’t take well). Kenta is the current #1 contender to Moxley’s New Japan United States Title and Omega seems rather pleased to end the show. I’m not big on Kenta but this felt big and it’s FAR better suited than the Impact stuff.

Overall Rating: A-. This show was a great mixture of stuff throughout the whole night with the main event and surprise at the end. AEW is at its best when they are flying around at a hundred miles an hour and they did it rather well here. They had a heck of a show here and they even made a wedding angle with two of the Best Friends involved work. I’m not sure what more you could ask for here, save for less Chaos Project of course.

Results

Chris Jericho/MJF won a tag team battle royal last eliminating Top Flight

Britt Baker b. Thunder Rosa – Lockjaw

Matt Hardy/Hangman Page b. Chaos Project – Buckshot Lariat to Luther

Lance Archer b. Eddie Kingston – Blackout

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers b. Pac/Rey Fenix/Jon Moxley – Magic Killer to Fenix

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Dynamite
Date: January 27, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

We’re a week away from Beach Break and for the first time in a long time, we are coming off of a somewhat weak show last time around. That being said, Dynamite has an incredible track record so I have all the confidence in the world of them being able to set up something better this time around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Kingston vs. Lance Archer

Jake Roberts is here with Archer…..who asks him to stay in the back. JR says this could be bowling shoe ugly as Kingston chops away, only to be powered into the corner. A bite works a bit better on Archer and Kingston chops away to limited avail. Archer shows him how to really chop so Kingston chops him even harder. A middle rope shoulder puts Archer on a knee….where he smiles at the down Kingston. Oh this is going to hurt.

Archer is back up with a chokeslam over the top rope and down on the apron (that was good for a heck of a cringe as Kingston landed on his hip). Archer follows him outside and sends Kingston face first into the camera (that’s a new one). Back in and Archer stares into the camera (he has a theme here) but has to block the spinning backfist.

Kingston dropkicks the knee out for two but Archer is right back with a short arm clothesline (ala Jake Roberts of course). The Blackout is escaped so Archer settles for a chokeslam instead. Archer walks the rope into the moonsault….and here are Butcher and the Blade, having attacked Roberts. The distraction lets Bunny slip Kingston some brass knuckles. The spinning backfist knocks Archer cold for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C+. Like JR said, this wasn’t supposed to be a technical masterpiece. This was designed to be all about two brawlers beating the fire out of each other and that’s what they did here, with Kingston managing to get a big win for a change. I liked this one a good bit because it’s exactly what it should have been, with the short arm clothesline making me smile.

Post match Butcher and Blade take Archer out again before holding him up for the spinning backfist.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Jon Moxley is a little confused by Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers and the Young Bucks teaming up because there are a lot of Tag Team Champions. Then there are the Lucha Bros and the Death Triangle. That’s complicated for Moxley, because he likes his beer cold, his coffee hot and his sex in the morning. He loves a good six man tag though because this is fun and that’s what they’re doing next week.

Sting talks about how Team Taz has thrown out a bunch of false accusations about himself and Darby Allin (next to him). It’s true that Allin is a hoodlum, with Allin saying that when you’re on the streets, it’s all about survival. He sends his skateboard through a window and says he’s just like Sting. That makes Sting break a window with his baseball bat and say he is a hoodlum. They’re ready for the street fight at Revolution. They walk off, with Allin leaving his TNT Title.

Chris Jericho/MJF vs. Varsity Blonds

It says MJF in the chiron so that’s enough of an official change for me. After what seems like an extended Judas from the crowd, we’re ready to go…but MJF has a mic. MJF and Griff Garrison start things off, with MJF wanting to hear how great he is. Garrison hammers him down and pulls him back from the apron, with MJF panicking a bit. MJF is so mad that he grabs a chair but the rest of the Inner Circle holds him back.

It’s off to Jericho, who is taken down and caught with Brian Pillman’s Jr.’s running legdrop to give Garrison two. A cheap shot from the apron puts Garrison down though and we take a break, with Tony screaming at us that the match could end during the break (eh he’s no JR ripping on picture in picture for whatever reason). Back with Garrison getting the hot tag to clean house, including a double spear for two on MJF (Pillman looks near tears for some reason).

The tears are wiped away enough to hit a missile dropkick on Jericho, followed by a superkick for two. Jericho misses a charge and gets sent to the floor but comes right back in with the Judas Effect to Pillman. The Lionsault (with Jericho having the biggest grin, because he likes proving people wrong from last week) finishes at 8:02.

Rating: C+. Pillman and Garrison have gotten built up some momentum over the last few months so it’s fine enough to have them hang in there with Jericho and MJF. It’s good to see the Inner Circle get a win like this to start them on the right foot, and Jericho’s grin off the Lionsault is perfectly him. If nothing else, it’s nice to see that last week was just a slip (it happens to everyone) and he didn’t break his neck.

Pac isn’t impressed with Kenny Omega and his friends walking around like they own the place. Next week, Pac and Rey Fenix are going to show Omega what it means to be brutal. He sold the heck out of this.

Earlier tonight, Shaquille O’Neal called out Cody Rhodes for a match at some point in the future.

Tony Schiavone brings out Cody Rhodes and Arn Anderson for a chat. Cody loves the idea of himself and Brandi against Shaq and Jade Cargill….but Brandi is having a baby. Therefore he is going to defer to Arn, who has chewed him out for a variety of things. For now though, Arn gets to make the decision. Anderson says he is going to contradict himself here and says that Cody has the big head.

Arn brings up the date of June 29, 1985, which doesn’t have any meaning for Cody. On that date, Arn watched Dusty Rhodes face Tully Blanchard in Los Angeles for thirty minutes and then fly across the country to see Cody be born. If Cody chooses to jump onto the Revolution card on March 7, he needs to do it with no regrets. There has been a long time between June 29, 1985 and Revolution.

Shaq dominated his sport for nineteen years and Jade Cargill seems like she dominates any room she is in. In the last two weeks, Arn has seen something and has an idea. Cue Red Velvet, with Arn saying she has the same fire as Cody. Velvet talks about Cargill running her mouth and being full of herself, but everyone knows Cody won’t lay a hand on Jade. Red Velvet will though, and she will stir Cargill’s b**** a** up. Arn: “That’s what I was talking about!”

Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford are excited to be married and invite us to the Beach Break wedding. Miro will be there as the best man and he’s bringing Charles the butler with him.

Hangman Page vs. Ryan Nemeth

Page is accompanied by crippling emotional baggage and Nemeth (complete with trunks that say “Hunk”) is Dolph Ziggler’s brother. An exchange of shoulders goes badly for Nemeth and Page kicks him in the face. Nemeth gets in a few chops in the corner and Page just doesn’t look happy. A shot to the face puts Nemeth down in the corner for the stomping. Page sends him outside for the slingshot dive but gets dropkicked back down inside.

Cue Matt Hardy to watch as Nemeth grabs a handstand hammerlock. Back up and Page runs him over, setting up a spinebuster, much to Hardy’s approval. A Dolph Ziggler jumping DDT gets two on Page but he blasts Nemeth with a discus forearm. There’s a hard lariat and the Buckshot Lariat finishes Nemeth at 5:38.

Rating: C. As usual, an unknown got in a lot of offense on an established star but Nemeth might have a little something with the Hunk/movie star good looks thing (and the family connection helps as well). Page getting a win is a good thing, but hopefully he doesn’t get pulled into whatever Hardy’s latest thing is.

Post match Hardy and Tony Schiavone get in the ring, with Hardy saying Page looks lost. They were on the same team in Stadium Stampede and Page is a good person who deserves to be happy. Page has been dressing by himself in a room next to catering. He is welcome to dress in Hardy’s big dressing room, no strings attached. Tony: “I think you should take him up on that.”

Jungle Boy and Dax Harwood both want to prove they are the better man, especially with everyone else neutralized at ringside.

Dax Harwood vs. Jungle Boy

Luchasaurus is here and handcuffed to Tully Blanchard and Cash Wheeler (Marko Stunt is sent to the back because…..well because he’s Marko Stunt). Harwood grabs a headlock to start but gets knocked down for his efforts. Another headlock works a bit better as Boy is taken to the mat and then knocked down again for good measure. They run the ropes until Boy scores with a dropkick and goes for the legs. That’s broken up and Harwood goes outside, with Luchasaurus not allowing Tully to get in much coaching.

Back in and Harwood uppercuts him into the corner but Boy chops his way to freedom. A kick to the ribs cuts him off but Harwood misses a charge into the post so Boy grabs an armbar. That doesn’t last long either as Harwood punches him in the face for a breather. They head outside with Harwood sending him into the barricade and sending us to a break. Back with Boy fighting out of a chinlock and kicking Harwood in the face.

A top rope belly to back superplex brings Luchasaurus to his feet and gives Harwood two but it injures his shoulder in the process. Boy pops back up and hammers away, only to get his head clotheslined off. A hard slingshot powerbomb gives Harwood two, with Tully being rather pleased.

Boy is back up with some rolling German suplexes until Harwood elbows him hard in the face. That earns Harwood a rebound lariat but Harwood head fakes him into a DDT (ala Arn Anderson) for two. They trade rollups with trunks for two each, followed by victory rolls for the same. Boy’s crucifix gets two, as does Harwood’s counter. Boy pulls him into the Snare Trap (Regal Stretch) and Harwood taps clean at 14:54.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember the last time I got sucked into a match outside of NXT so this was a heck of a treat as they had a great wrestling match. This was Boy’s speed and athleticism against Harwood’s old school style and they meshed so well. This is the kind of thing that I wanted to see out of FTR and it’s great to see Boy hanging in there every step of the way. Awesome match here that blew away some fairly high expectations I had coming in.

Post match, Tully throws powder at Luchasaurus and gets out of the handcuffs. A slingshot suplex puts Boy down and a spike double piledriver (featuring Air Tully) knocks Luchasaurus silly. Luchasaurus is handcuffed to the ropes and FTR cuts the horns off of his mask to make it personal. They go to cut Boy’s hair but Marko Stunt, SCU and Top Flight make the save.

Earlier tonight, Team Taz was outside where Taz talked about being ready to destroy Sting and Darby Allin at Revolution. Hold on though as they find a random merchandise table and beat the workers up for having too much Sting and Darby gear. Taz promises more of this for the two of them.

Britt Baker vs. Shanna

Rebel is here with Baker and Shanna is making her return. Baker works on the wristlock to start but gets reverses into the same thing from Shanna. That’s broken up with Shanna being taken into the corner for a hard forearm. That’s broken up though as Shanna goes for the wristlock, followed by an enziguri. The running dropkick against the ropes misses though as Rebel pulls Baker away, meaning Baker can get in a shot from behind.

The Sling Blade on the floor drops Shanna again and we take a break. Back with Shanna hitting a clothesline for two, followed by Baker’s neckbreaker for two. A Stunner drops Baker again and now the running dropkick against the ropes connects. Rebel realizes trouble is afoot though and offers a distraction so Baker can grab the Lockjaw for the pin at 8:33.

Rating: C+. I know Baker has been doing the same thing for a good while, but that’s a good thing in this case. She’s rather entertaining with what she does and it continues to set up the showdown with Thunder Rosa. Baker is probably the most defined character in all of the division and she plays it to near perfection. Stick with what works instead of changing everything at once, as you can often stick with a good idea instead of trying unnecessary changes.

Post match the beatdown stays on but here’s Thunder Rosa for the save.

MJF comes in to see Sammy Guevara and insists that he didn’t send Wardlow in last week. Sammy doesn’t buy it because he knows what MJF is doing and doesn’t buy his lies. MJF asks if Sammy wants to play it this way but Sammy isn’t playing. Man alive Sammy is a breakout star waiting to happen.

Beach Break rundown.

More on what’s coming later on, with Riho making her return in the #1 contenders tournament at a date to be announced.

The Good Brothers and the Young Bucks are happy with the Bullet Club reunion and are ready to do their thing tonight. Then next week they’re going to do their favorite thing: BEAT UP JON MOXLEY! The Bucks are down with that but don’t want Don Callis involved. Kenny Omega comes in and says they need to talk but here’s Callis, who has a taped up face thanks to the Bucks. Omega has to hold them apart.

Dark Order vs. Young Bucks/Good Brothers

It’s Evil Uno/Stu Grayson/Alex Reynolds/John Silver for the Order. Uno shoulders Anderson to start and gets two off an atomic drop of all things. It’s time to start in on the wristlock and Silver comes in for a bald showdown. Silver wants Gallows and the request is granted after a bit of discussion. Somehow Silver manages to kick him down to a knee but a cheap shot from the apron lets Gallows him him in the face. Matt comes in and gets forearmed by Reynolds but the Bucks start firing off the dropkicks.

Everything breaks down and it’s a dropkick/neckbreaker/belly to back suplex combination to Reynolds. The club poses (JR: “That’s another t-shirt.”) and Anderson trips Reynolds down. JR wants an ejection but Uno trips Matt as well, allowing the hot tag to Grayson. The pace picks way up and it’s a springboard dropkick to put Gallows on the floor. A frog splash gets two on Anderson and we take a break. Back with Grayson hitting a Pele on Nick and diving over for the hot tag to Silver.

That means house can be cleaned again as Silver does the fired up comeback rather well. Silver runs over the club on the floor as well, setting up a brainbuster for two on Nick back inside. Matt comes in and hits the double northern lights suplex on Silver and Reynolds. There’s the double clothesline to take them down as well but Reynolds hits a Stunner into the German suplex on Matt.

The Fatality connects with Anderson having to make the save as everything breaks down again. Nick hits the double springboard flip dive onto most of everyone on the floor and the club hits a bunch of apron powerbombs at the same time. Grayson is left alone in the ring and it’s a quadruple low superkick with Uno making the save. The Magic Killer knocks Uno to the floor and it’s the Meltzer Driver to finish Grayson at 11:45.

Rating: B. This was an entertaining match with the Dark Order hanging in there long enough. I know it has been said but Silver is one of those guys with all of the charisma he could need to be a star. I’m fine with the club winning here as they need to show they can work together, even if a Bucks vs. Brothers match seems like at Revolution. Good main event here though, with the Dark Order working as faces (or close enough to them at least).

Post match the Bucks talk about the Beach Break battle royal with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot at Revolution. They are in the match as well and if they win, it is champions’ choice for the title shot. The Bucks and the Brothers hit the Too Sweet but here’s Rey Fenix to go after them to avenge Pentagon. This goes as well as you would expect, even though he manages to knock the Bucks to the floor. Cue Jon Moxley to help with the fight and Fenix hits a heck of a dive, even landing on the barricade in the process. Kenny Omega tries to run in with the boot but walks into the Paradigm Shift to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Now that was more like it with a few rather good to great matches carrying the show. There was nothing bad on the show and I’m curious to see where Beach Break goes, even if there isn’t a huge main event. This week’s show was about building for the future but still had some solid stuff of its own. I liked this show a good bit more than last week and hopefully they can do it again at next week’s big show.

Results

Eddie Kingston b. Lance Archer – Spinning backfist with brass knuckles

Chris Jericho/MJF b. Varsity Blonds – Lionsault to Pillman

Hangman Page b. Ryan Nemeth – Buckshot lariat

Jungle Boy b. Dax Harwood – Snare Trap

Britt Baker b. Shanna – Lockjaw

Young Bucks/Good Brothers b. Dark Order – Meltzer Driver to Grayson

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

That was fun. I really enjoy going back and doing these shows over again as a lot of them have great moments that you forget about over the years. The Rumble is a very unique show as it’s probably the only gimmick PPV that works almost every year. Over the years there have been a lot of gimmick shows like Survivor Series and most of them wind up being terrible at some point. The Rumble has been bad at times to be sure, but there has never been a period where the match wasn’t at least fun in some regard or valuable at the end of the day.

The best Rumbles tend to be the ones that follow the three act structure (dominant midcarder taking over to start, a lot of midcarders and lower guys in the middle, main eventers to wrap things up) with the best ones likely being 2000 and 2001. The comedy spots can help a lot as at nearly an hour, it’s hard to keep things serious the entire time. The only bad thing about it anymore is that it comes right before Elimination Chamber which takes away the feeling of the Road to Wrestlemania. Still though, it’s an excellent series and most are worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, I’ll be releasing the Redo series of that starting on March 10. I hope you enjoyed this as I did and it’s time for Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: January 20, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

It’s tag team night as we have a triple threat tag match to determine the official tag team of the Inner Circle. That’s certainly one way to go, though it isn’t likely to help the issues that they are already having. Odds are the match will be entertaining though, as most of their matches are. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.Opening sequence.

Here’s the Dark Order, complete with a cake because it is Negative One’s birthday. The cake is making John Silver hungy so the fans sing Happy Birthday in a nice moment. Cue the Chaos Project, who does not like Negative One or any children at all. The brawl is on so here is the Hybrid 2 to jump the Dark Order as well. Hangman Page is here too and it’s time for an eight man tag.

Dark Order/Hangman Page vs. Chaos Project/Hybrid 2

Silver gets taken down to start and it’s a butterfly suplex to keep him in trouble. Serpentico comes in but gets knocked out of the corner, allowing the hot tag to Page. House is cleaned in a hurry as everything breaks down. Cabana hits a top rope flying apple to Serpentico and Page moonsault down onto everyone at ringside. Back in and Page picks up Silver and Reynolds at once to drop them back onto Serpentico for two.

Luther breaks up something off the top though, allowing Serpentico to DDT Reynolds for two. Page powerbombs Evans over the barricade as Luther loads up a powerbomb onto the cake. Negative One breaks that up with a kendo stick and Silver sends Luther face first into the cage. Back in the ring and a Stunner sets up a Buckshot Lariat to send Serpentico into a German suplex to give Reynolds the pin at 6:15.

Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great but that wasn’t the point here. This was all about the nice moment for Negative One and there is nothing wrong with that. It was a quick match with some goons losing to the Dark Order. They had some fun and made a kid smile. What more can you ask for than that?

Post break the Order holds Serpentico for a kendo stick shot from Negative One, who informs the Dark Order that his birthday was three days ago “you idiots”. And he throws the papers at Serpentico.

Back in the ring, John Silver asks Hangman Page if he is joining the Dark Order or not. Page says he can’t….but the HE SAID YES banners fall and the parade starts on the stage anyway. Page says he can’t do it because he did the team thing before and it didn’t work. He had a lot of fun with them but he just can’t do this. More apologizing ensues and Page leaves, though he does take a bottle of booze from Stu Grayson on the way out. This could be interesting.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

MJF doesn’t like interviewer Alex Marvez, saying his breath smells like rats having an orgy in a running microwave. With that image out of the way, MJF talks about how he doesn’t want the Inner Circle to have issues. Jericho thinks they’ll win tonight, with MJF saying the titles are next.

Tony Schiavone introduces Sting, who is here to praise Darby Allin, who joins him in the ring. Before Sting can get very far, here’s Team Taz to rant against Sting for costing Cage the TNT Title last week. The challenge is issued for a street fight and Allin says be careful what you wish for.

The Young Bucks go to Kenny Omega’s house, where they find a portrait of rather jacked Omega and Don Callis with their shirts off and their jeans riding rather low. Callis pops up and says that it was a birthday gift for Omega. Nick: “It was in October.” Callis: “It’s never too late to get started!” Anyway, Omega isn’t here because he’s been a bit busy. He’s also changed his number because people have been trying to call him up, including a bunch of old friends.

Callis sends Alex Marvez to the Dungeon (Marvez: “DUNGEON???”) but the camera has to stay here. With everyone else gone, Callis talks about how the Bucks have been friends with Omega for twelve years….and pays them for their twelve year investments with Omega. Matt: “We made this much last week.” Callis throws in another check for the merchandise, sending Matt over the edge with a rant about how the Bucks were there with Omega for years in Tokyo.

Matt knows those checks aren’t any good either because they used to work for Callis’ company (Impact). The Bucks go after him and violence seems to ensue after the camera is covered. This was a clever segment, though being threatened by the physicality of the Bucks isn’t the scariest feeling.

Cody Rhodes vs. Peter Avalon

Cody starts fast with the Cross Rhodes attempt but Avalon slips away. Cue Jade Cargill for a distraction though and Avalon gets in a low blow for two. Cody manages the Dustin Rhodes drop down uppercut but gets caught on top. Avalon pulls him down with a superplex and grabs a regular suplex for two.

We take a break and come back with Avalon missing something off the top. Cody seems to have hurt his knee so Avalon sends him outside. That doesn’t last long so they head back inside with Cody nailing a quick cutter. The powerslam sets up the Figure Four and Cody teases slapping him in the face, the threat of which is enough to make Avalon tap at 9:36.

Rating: C. I’ve seen worse and while Avalon still isn’t one of my favorites, he gave Cody a bit of trouble here. Cody is one of the smoother wrestlers in the company and I can go with seeing him on television more, though the Cargill stuff needs to go far away in a hurry. I’m not sure if Shaq is still on the table, but I’m also not sure how much interest there was in it in the first place.

Arn Anderson isn’t happy with Cody after the loss.

Tully Blanchard and FTR are happy with being #1 in the new rankings but here is Jurassic Express to interrupt. Jungle Boy says last week’s match taught him that he could hang with either of them, which Dax Harwood sees as a challenge. They’re fight next week, with Luchasaurus saying he’ll guarantee no one gets involved.

Jon Moxley vs. Nick Comoroto

Comoroto is a rather big (muscular) guy with a lot of hair. Looks a bit cavemanish. Moxley stomps him into the corner but Comoroto sends him into the corner instead. A running elbow to the face sets up a backbreaker but Comoroto misses a charge into the buckle. Moxley kicks him in the chest and snaps off a German suplex. The big clothesline doesn’t do much to Comoroto so Moxley chokes him out for the win at 3:55.

Rating: C. Comoroto was really impressive here and Moxley gave him a lot. The best thing about this was they treated Comoroto like someone who might have a future and given that WWE released him back in April, they might not be so fast to come after him again. Good little match here, and it made Comoroto look awesome.

Post match Moxley says things are crazy around here and he can’t keep track of where everyone is. Kenny Omega thought he could bring his frat brothers from Nashville to watch his back but all that did was make it more interesting for Moxley. It’s just going to mean bigger brawls and more blood with more limbs to break. Omega can bring in whoever he wants because all roads lead through him. Moxley even throws in some pushups.

Eddie Kingston is ready to face Lance Archer next week so here’s Archer who is ready to fight now. Jake Roberts breaks it up and says we’ll do this next week without Butcher and Blade.

Kenny Omega isn’t interested in hearing some questions about being at the beach and is even less happy about AEW being at his house earlier. He finds Callis, who has a black eye. Omega wants to now who did this and Callis slips up by saying it was Nick and Matt. Omega isn’t thrilled and Callis throws Marvez out.

Matt Hardy/Private Party vs. Matt Sydal/Top Flight

Dante Martin and Marq Quen start things off with Dante snapping off the hiptosses. Darius comes in as well for some dropkicks and Sydal joins them for a triple leapfrog into a spinwheel kick to Quen. We settle down with Private Party beating up Sydal until Top Flight comes in for a double half crab (as in three people pulling on a combination of legs). Sydal gets taken into the corner and we take a break.

Back with Kassidy holding Sydal in a chinlock but Sydal escapes and brings in Darius to clean house. The Spanish Fly drops Kassidy so Hardy comes in and is awkwardly sent outside. Everything breaks down again and Hardy comes back in for a bunch of Side Effects into a triple cover. Quen starts dancing and kicks Sydal as JR says there is a pile up in downtown Ringville. Darius gets dumped outside but the referee stops to yell at Hardy, allowing Kassidy to get in a chair shot to Dante. The shooting star press finishes Dante at 11:57.

Rating: C+. This was the usual all over the place match, but there were more than a few moments where it felt like they were trying to stick to the plans and then got lost because there was too much going on. The heel turn for Private Party is a good idea, because otherwise, Top Flight is possibly a better version of the same team.

Post match Top Flight isn’t happy so Hardy and Private Party beat them down again.

MJF goes in to see the rest of the Inner Circle and says that Jericho says the match has to happen. Let’s just get through this and move on. Sammy Guevara doesn’t quite buy it but he’s down with the idea.

Layla Hirsch vs. Penelope Ford

Ford has Charles Taylor (now the butler), Miro and Kip Sabian with him. Hirsch takes Ford to the mat to start and Ford is in early trouble. Back up and Taylor (under orders) trips Hirsch down. The cross armbreaker has Ford in more trouble but they head outside, with Hirsch getting distracted.

That lets Ford get in a pump kick and a whip into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Hirsch having none of this and getting in a dead lift German suplex. Hirsch pounds away on Ford to put her down before going up top for a big flip dive onto the men at ringside. Back in and Ford kicks her in the face, allowing Sabian to grab Layla’s foot for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C-. Hirsch is someone who feels different and could be something in the near future. At the same time, they kept her strong in defeat as it took Ford and three men outside to beat her. The wrestling itself wasn’t all that great, but they made Hirsch look good and that has some potential in the future.

Post match Miro grabs the mic and makes Taylor say, while looking at Orange Cassidy, that Miro is his best friend now. Cassidy looks crushed and walks away, because he seems to be rather stupid in this story.

Here’s what’s coming next week and at Beach Break.

We’re having a #1 contenders tournament for the Women’s Title. No more details yet.

Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers jump Penta with Omega driving his rather large boot into Penta’s eyes.

Santana/Ortiz vs. Sammy Guevara/Jake Hager vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Chris Jericho

Anyone can tag anyone here. Jericho drives Sammy into the corner to start but Sammy sends him into the ropes. That’s fine with Sammy, who starts flipping a lot and sends Jericho outside. The big dive is teased but instead Sammy backflips into the Le Sex Gods pose, complete with a middle finger to Jericho. Hager comes in to run Santana over but Santana kicks the legs and head. Ortiz is in as well for a double belly to back suplex before it’s back to Jericho.

A moonsault press gives Santana two and we take a break. Back with Jericho taking Sammy down but Guevara gets over for the tag off to Hager. That means house is cleaned before a quick tag back to Sammy. That means a Cody Cutter to Ortiz and a clothesline to put Jericho on the floor. Everything breaks down and Sammy plants Ortiz with a suplex. The reverse hurricanrana drops MJF and there’s a super Spanish Fly for two on Ortiz.

Jericho teases hitting Hager with Floyd so Hager kicks him in the face. Wardlow slips MJF the ring and gets punched out by Hager for his efforts. Santana and Ortiz kick Hager down but MJF makes a save and tags himself in. A powerbomb sets up the Lionsault….and Jericho doesn’t get nearly over far enough, landing on his head/face instead.

The Codebreaker gets two on Ortiz, who comes back with a double DDT to Jericho and MJF. Hager comes back in for a running Vader Bomb on MJF and a very high Swanton gives Sammy two on MJF. Ortiz makes the save so Sammy hits most of the GTH on Jericho. Wardlow gets knocked off the apron but MJF grabs a quick rollup with trunks to pin Sammy at 12:39.

Rating: B-. The action was very good and Sammy makes me think of the good side of Jeff Hardy more and more every time I see him. The Jericho botch was more sad than anything else and I hope he doesn’t bust that out again, as he very easily could have landed on his head with that one. Just stick with the Codebreaker and the Walls. The rest was good though, as you can see the Inner Circle split continuing.

We are off the air in a hurry but at least they got everything in.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good example of the wrestling not adding up to the overall rating, as there wasn’t a great match throughout the night but there are multiple things here that I want to see continue. In other words it gives me a reason to come back and that is one of the most important things a show can do. Good show, and Beach Break could become a big event in a hurry.

Results

Dark Order/Hangman Page b. Hybrid 2/Chaos Project – Buckshot Lariat into a German suplex to Serpentico

Cody Rhodes b. Peter Avalon – Figure Four

Jon Moxley b. Nick Comoroto – Rear naked choke

Private Party/Matt Hardy b. Top Flight/Matt Sydal – Shooting star press to Dante Martin

Penelope Ford b. Layla Hirsch – Pin with Kip Sabian holding the leg

Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Chris Jericho b. Jake Hager/Sammy Guevara and Santana/Ortiz – Rollup with trunks to Guevara

 

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Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show is special for a few reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are in the Garden. That alone is enough to get excited, but the other big story here is the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton, which is so intriguing that it seems to have raised the buys of the show to its highest in a few years. I’m curious to see how well it holds up so let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Garden and the history of the Royal Rumble. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line but Flair’s career is, which is hardly a fair trade. Before the match, Flair talks about his history in this building and thanks the fans for all of the respect they have given him since his first match here in March 1976. Then MVP’s music cuts him off because WWE knows how to disrespect legends.

Feeling out process to start with Flair working on the arm so MVP shoves him away. That just gets on Flair’s nerves so he hammers away in the corner, earning himself a kick to the face. The chinlock goes on as the fans let MVP know that he sucks. That’s broken up and Flair goes for the leg, only to get stomped down in the corner again.

A running boot in the corner gets three on Flair, but the foot is on the rope for the heart stopping moment. MVP suplexes him for two and superplexes him for the same. Flair gets in a double clothesline for a double knockdown and some rollups get two each. MVP is back with a shot to the throat but the Playmaker is reversed into the Figure Four for the tap.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on the US Champion losing but there is nothing wrong with giving Flair one more win in Madison Square Garden. The Flair retirement tour was a good thing to see as he earned a lot of the respect and farewells, so MVP losing isn’t the worst thing. I can’t imagine MVP minded putting Flair over in this situation either so it isn’t quite worth getting mad about.

Vince McMahon thinks Flair is rather lucky and explains the idea of the luck of the Irish to Hornswoggle, his illegitimate son at the moment. We hear a bit about the McMahon’s history here in the Garden until Finlay comes in to get Hornswoggle out of there before Vince can…..whatever Vince would do with a bearded leprechaun.

We meet the newest member of the Raw announce team: Mike Adamle. Oh boy here we go.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. Jericho returned with the SAVE US deal but JBL didn’t like the idea and cost him the WWE Title. Now it’s time to come out of retirement for the fight, with JBL even bringing Jericho’s children into the trash talk to make it personal.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

If nothing else, it’s weird to see Jericho with the short hair and long tights. Jericho backs him into the ropes to start but JBL gets in a cheap shot as the referee pulls him away. That earns him a running forearm as Jericho is all ticked off here. The Clothesline From JBL misses so Jericho grabs the Walls, sending JBL straight to the rope. They head outside with JBL getting the better of things, meaning it’s time to catapult Jericho throat first into the bottom rope.

The choking ensues, followed by the sleeper to go old school. That’s broken up and Jericho hits his own running clothesline to put them both down. There’s a big boot to drop Jericho again and JBL sends him shoulder first into the post. Jericho comes up bleeding so JBL stomps away at the head in the corner. That earns him some running forearms to the head and the Lionsault connects. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor, where Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was as intense and emotional as I’ve seen from Jericho in a long time and it was actually a good brawl. JBL is much better suited for something like this and the ending sets up a rematch at No Way Out. Jericho needed this kind of performance to reestablish himself and the blood looked good too.

Post match Jericho beats JBL up even more and chokes him with a camera cord in a similar version of what JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but gets Maria’s boyfriend Santino Marella again. NO, Maria is NOT posing for Playboy!

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has hooked up with Vickie Guerrero and has the Edgeheads behind him, making him all the more invincible. Rey Mysterio won a Beat The Clock Challenge to earn the show.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, is defending and has the wheelchair bound Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads with him. Edge goes after the arm to start so Rey forearms him in the face for the break (the simple exits often work best). Rey dropkicks him down for an early two and Edge is looking frustrated. A toss to the floor sets up a baseball slide to Rey, meaning the Edgeheads can get in their cheap shots.

Back in and Edge kicks the leg out to knock Rey off the middle rope. That’s enough to give Edge a target and we hit the half crab. Rey limps up for an enziguri before limping into a powerslam to give Edge two. Another leg crank goes on before Edge tries to expose the knee, allowing Rey to come back with the wheelbarrow bulldog.

The good leg kicks Edge in the face for two more and a seated senton gets two more. A top rope double stomp gets another two so Edge kicks him in the face. The spear misses though and it’s a 619 into the frog splash, but Vickie gets up and pulls the referee. Rey tries another 619 but hits Vickie by mistake. That’s enough to distract Rey so the spear can retain the title.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much drama here but that’s where the Royal Rumble title shot stereotype comes from. Rey did what he does best here by fighting from underneath and giving you some hope spots but Vickie interfering was the big surprise. She’s a great heat machine and Edge surviving as champion as a result is about as good of a way as you could go here.

Mr. Kennedy comes up to a towel clad Ric Flair in the back. Kennedy suggests a match with Flair but here’s Shawn Michaels to glare him off. Shawn: “Imagine a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy with a catchphrase. That’ll never work. These kids today.” Flair knows Shawn will win so here are Batista and HHH, the latter of whom tells Flair to put his pants on (HHH: “I know I’ve said this a million times before.”). Anyway Shawn says the best man will win tonight, and he’ll be wearing the brand new HBK t-shirt, available now at Shop WWE!

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, because that happens at the Royal Rumble. Cue Ashley to say Playboy wants Maria. Cue Santino Marella with someone wearing a sheet over their head. Santino says it’s not happening and makes fun of the New York sports teams. With the LET’S GO GIANTS chant out of the way, Maria asks the fans if they want her to pose. Santino say no again, and brings the sheeted person in. Naturally it’s Big Dick Johnson, in a New England Patriots jersey. Ashley beats him up anyway.

Mike Adamle throws us to a video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy for the Raw World Title. Orton was born to be a star and has every natural gift there is. He breathes wrestling and was destined to be the best. Then there is Jeff Hardy, who is more of a free spirit and rose to this level because he lives for the moment. There are some great old clips of both of them plus the rest of the Orton family. Hardy beat him in a tag match and keeps diving off of one thing after another, which has made fans believe he has a chance. I was right there with them because this was an excellent build.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy, the Intercontinental Champion (not on the line) is challenging and yes, he could win. A headlock takeover puts Orton down for a quick two and Hardy pulls back hard on the head. That’s reversed into a headscissors but Jeff escapes and hits a basement dropkick for two more. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and a slingshot dropkick sends him hard into the barricade.

Hardy hits a dive so Orton chills for a bit, only to have Hardy head outside to win a slugout. Back in and Hardy’s springboard attempt is cut off with a dropkick to send him crashing back to the floor. Orton suplexes him on the floor as you can feel the pace slow in a hurry. The stomping and choking ensue back inside but Hardy knocks him outside again. There’s the clothesline from the apron but Hardy misses a charge into the post. The chinlock with the bodyscissors goes on for a good while until Hardy fights up again.

Some running shot to the face set up the Whisper in the Wind for two on Orton and the slingshot dropkick connects in the corner. Orton rolls to the apron before the Swanton can launch and a missile dropkick puts him on the floor again. Hardy isn’t waiting around and moonsaults down onto him for another double knockdown. Back in and Hardy tries the Twist of Fate but Orton reverses into the RKO for the fast pin to retain.

Rating: B. The more I see this match, the more I like it. Hardy was rolling with the high flying and risk taking but the ending made sense: Hardy tried to go with the wrestling and got caught because that’s Orton’s wheelhouse. This gave you the impression that Hardy could win and that was all they needed to do here. Nice job and you could tell that Hardy was more than just a challenger of the month at this point.

Jeff gets a kind of lukewarm standing ovation, but the Garden isn’t the best indication of the masses.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Dang I love that thing.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals this year and Michael Buffer is the special ring announcer in one of (if not the) his only appearances for the company. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 because they’re starting big this year (and with the final two from last year’s Rumble). Granted Buffer doesn’t actually say “Shawn Michaels”, instead introducing him as the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn chops away to start but gets sent flying upside down into the corner. A shot to the face puts Undertaker on the apron but he shoves Michaels away.

Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect for the first elimination. Shawn chops away even more and hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is in at #4. Undertaker goes straight for him but gets chopped down as the fans give Khali a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. They fight over a chokeslam and Undertaker shoves him out to get us back to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 to stomp away at Undertaker in the corner. For some reason Undertaker can’t eliminate Holly and it’s John Morrison in at #6.

Undertaker and Shawn form the Texas Mega Powers but Morrison counters Sweet Chin Music to kick Shawn in the head. Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 and the fans are VERY happy to see him. Dreamer goes after Undertaker but Shawn takes his place to stomp the big man down. Batista is in at #8 to pick things up again, plus toss Dreamer for daring to break up a showdown with the Undertaker.

It’s Hornswoggle in at #9 and he goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Everyone brawls around the ring and it’s Chuck Palumbo, as a biker, in at #10. That gives us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo for a rather eclectic group. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo, is in at #11 and gets knocked out in less than thirty seconds.

Noble’s banged up ribs need some help getting to the back and it’s CM Punk in at #12. The pace picks up until Undertaker clotheslines Punk’s head off. Palumbo and Morrison go after Punk until he tosses Palumbo to clear things out a bit. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and saves Holly (his partner) and Batista backdrops Shawn. Umaga is in at #14 and tosses Holly in a hurry. Snitsky is in at #15 as they’re flying through these entrants.

Everyone fights by the ropes and it’s the Miz in at #16, meaning we have Miz and Morrison working together. Undertaker and Umaga kick each other on the mat as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 to snap Miz and Morrison’s throats on top. That earns him Sweet Chin Music for the elimination and it’s Jimmy Snuka in at #18 for the nostalgia pop. Undertaker hurts himself trying the headbutt and it’s Roddy Piper in at #19 for the REAL nostalgia pop. Snuka looks stunned as everyone stops to watch the old guys fight.

Kane is in at #20, giving us Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Snuka, Piper and Kane, which has to be one of the best collections of talent ever in a ring. Kane wastes no time in eliminating Piper and Snuka (they were just there for the one pop anyway so that was all they should have done), much to the fans’ annoyance. Umaga saves Shawn from Undertaker’s chokeslam for some reason and Carlito is in at #21. A Backstabber drops Punk but Cody bulldogs Carlito down.

Mick Foley is in at #22 (big pop) and Undertaker hits a Last Ride on Batista, which isn’t even acknowledged. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to a big reaction and some house cleaning. A bit too much trash talk earns him a chokeslam from Undertaker and it’s Big Daddy V in at #24. Undertaker eliminates Snitsky but gets superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy dumps Shawn and the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Undertaker drives Snitsky through the announcers’ table (or mostly through it) to blow off some steam as Cody and Kennedy tease eliminating each other.

Mark Henry is in at #25 as Hornswoggle comes out to eliminates Miz (still without getting inside). ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 as Kane kicks Morrison out. It’s nice to see the one in one out (or close to it) as it keeps things from getting too clogged up. Henry pulls Hornswoggle in so here’s Finlay, presumably in at #27, for the save. Finlay and Hornswoggle leave without being sent over the top but Finlay is officially disqualified for using the Shillelagh.

Elijah Burke is in at #28 as Batista falls out to the floor without being eliminated. Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH in at #29. Cody is gone, Big Daddy V is gone and Foley and Burke all go out together as HHH’s hands. HHH punches at everyone he can find, including a Pedigree to Umaga.

The clock is on and……JOHN CENA is in at #30 to blow the roof off the place because he was out with a torn pectoral muscle was wasn’t even certain for Wrestlemania. The Garden is stunned for about ten seconds before realizing that they’re supposed to hate Cena (this really is one of the best surprises the Rumble has ever seen and I smile at it every time). That gives us a final group of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena, which is not too shabby.

Cena goes after Henry and the fans are actually buzzing for a change. Carlito and Henry get tossed by Cena, who goes nose to (large) nose with HHH. The slugout goes to Cena until HHH catches him with a spinebuster. Batista is back in to get rid of Kennedy and Umaga. Kane is tossed out by Batista and HHH, leaving us with Batista, HHH and Cena. HHH tells both of them to suck it and the fight is on. Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb attempt and Batista is clotheslined out, leaving us with two.

The BOO/YAY slugout it on with Cena getting the better of it and initiating the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped and there’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and HHH escapes another AA before grabbing a DDT for two. The Pedigree is countered so Cena tries the AA again. That’s broken up as well so Cena grabs it one more time and finally tosses HHH to win.

Rating: B+. I like this one more every time I see it with the Cena return being one of the best things the Rumble has ever done. The rest of the match was very well booked with the big star, the great nostalgia for Piper/Snuka/Foley and enough top names throughout to keep anything from getting dull. They had the right balance here and I had a really good time with the whole thing.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve seen this one a few times now and I don’t remember liking it this much. Maybe it’s how bad the modern stuff would get but this was a show where they did their thing each time, had everything working as it should have and then finished it up with a really good Rumble. It set up an underrated Wrestlemania too and after this, I can’t say I’m surprised. Very good show here and worth a look if you haven’t seen it in a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: B+

Well dang man. Was I in a really good mood today or something? And this is the first time I’ve ever liked JBL vs. Jericho? Really?

Here is the original if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-original-the-big-surprise/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2013-redo-it-keeps-getting-better/

And the 2019 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2019-redo-thats-a-trio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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