Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the four way title match, there are two other multi-man matches of note. First, Kurt Angle will be defending his Intercontinental and European Titles in back to back triple threat matches (considered one match with two falls) against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Other than that, the tag division is getting a big boost with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz (also recent arrivals) and Edge and Christian in the first ever triangle ladder match for the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania for a few moments before jumping into the four way main event. They make sure to mention the McMahon in every corner and how it’s all about the four of them. This was a major problem with the match which we’ll get to later but it’s certainly true.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Godfather is now a full on pimp and Brown is his partner in good guy crime. Buchanan is an athletic big man and Boss Man’s protege who never went beyond the low midcard. Ice T raps Brown and Godfather to the ring with a song called Pimp or Die. Of note: one of the Godfather’s women clearly falls down as she reaches ringside with the camera catching her going down. Godfather gives his usual speech about pimping nationwide and tells us to light up our blunts and say pimpin ain’t easy. This was quite the different time as you might be able to tell.

Brown and Buchanan get things going with D’Lo kicking him in the face and Godfather clotheslining an invading Boss Man. Godfather, in his shiny silver top, comes in for the spinning legdrop. A hook kick puts Boss Man down for two before it’s back to Buchanan and Brown with Bull doing his awesome run up the corner into a spinning top rope clothesline. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of his good moves so it’s back to Boss Man for two off an uppercut.

Lawler continues to oogle the lady in red as Brown keeps taking his beating. A cross body goes badly for D’Lo and JR compares it to a fair catch in the XFL. JR: “Which won’t exist.” Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Buchanan and Brown brings him down with a top rope hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Godfather for some house cleaning and everything breaks down, allowing Boss Man to hit his namesake slam, followed by a guillotine legdrop (and a good one) from Buchanan for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D. Buchanan’s stuff looked good but who thought it was a good idea to have the heels, especially these heels, win the opening match? The length didn’t help this either. Godfather was starting to outlive his usefulness as an opening act at this point, partially due to the Parents Television Council complaining about the adult nature of the character. This would lead to a major change of pace for Godfather, which we’ll get to later on.

HHH and Women’s Champion Stephanie are loving life in the back.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash (Hardcore’s cousin) is defending coming in, meaning he has to be pinned or made to submit for the title to change hands in the first place. Tazz is still the Human Suplex Machine here a fierce guy despite his smaller stature. Funaki is Taka’s partner in Kai En Tai. It’s a big brawl to start with only Tazz and Crash staying in the ring. A suplex makes Tazz champion in 24 seconds, and yes these title reigns are all official. Viscera rams Tazz into the post and slams him down for the pin at 1:00.

The Mean Street Posse gets together for some weapon shots to Viscera to almost no avail. Crash is already busted open. The Acolytes beat Viscera up instead and everyone else beats on each other. Funaki hits Mosh with a box fan and Bradshaw cleans house with a cookie sheet. Some people finally start going after Viscera but he easily kicks out. We’re under ten minutes now and Pete Gas is bleeding too.

Viscera holds court in the ring with the cookie sheets but goes up top for no logical reason. The Acolytes destroy Kai En Tai with Taka taking a wicked powerbomb before going over to slam Viscera down. Some 2×4 shots to the back and a top rope shoulder from Bradshaw allows them to throw Kai En Tai on top, giving Funaki the pin at 7:51. Taka immediately goes after his partner but Funaki is suddenly the smartest man in the match as he runs away. The Posse catches up to him though and Rodney throws him against a wall for the pin and the title at 8:11 in his only televised pinfall.

Joey runs in with a gutwrench suplex for the pin and the title at 8:24. Thrasher clotheslines Joey for the title at 8:46. Thrasher tries to run away but gets attacked by a bunch of people with a weapon each. Somehow he survives though, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Pete Gas for the pin and the title at 9:29. That would be Pete’s second and final pin on TV.

With just under five minutes left, Tazz grabs a suplex for the pin at 10:17. Hardcore immediately sends him into the steps for two but Mosh decks Hardcore from behind. Probably out of instinct, Tazz covers Mosh for two. Tazz fights both Holly cousins inside as Bradshaw beats up the Posse out of pure principle. We have two minutes left and the cousins start trying to pin Tazz and Hardcore’s dropkick gets two. Crash hits Tazz in the head with a cookie sheet for the pin and the title at 14:20 but Tazz is right up with the Tazmission (his signature choke).

Hardcore comes back in with a candy jar to bust over Tazz’s head (and getting a piece of glass in his eye, though Tazz was fine.) and covers Crash but the ending is screwed up. Hardcore was supposed to have him beaten as the time expired but he came in early, meaning the referee has to stop the count for no good reason. Not that it matters as Hardcore is declared the new champion at 15:00 to end the match.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

Al Snow is in a bathroom and talking to someone we can’t see. His partner Steve Blackman comes in to say play it serious tonight. They comprise the team of Head Cheese because Snow has Head and…..well what else would you call them?

Head Cheese vs. T&A

T&A are Test and Albert (a big bald power guy) with the recently debuted Trish Stratus (when she was in even better shape than when she was in her peak years) as their manager. Snow brings out the man from the bathroom: the team’s new mascot Chester McCheeserton, a guy in a cheese costume. The audio starts crackling and JR’s microphone goes out for a bit (Lawler is very happy) as Blackman kicks Test in the face to start.

Snow comes in and gets double teamed until it’s off to Blackman to trade shoulders with Albert. Everything breaks down for a bit as the fans are just quiet here. You can see a lot of empty seats where people are getting popcorn during this match and I can’t blame them. Albert gets in trouble as the cheese goes after Trish who rightfully ignores him. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Lawler calls the cheese Chester the Molester. A butterfly suplex finally gets Albert out of trouble and it’s off to Test for two off a side slam.

Albert comes back in for a big double powerbomb on Al as JR is using his code (“These styles are clashing” and “It’s bowling shoe ugly”) to say this match is horrible. Snow drops a middle rope leg on Test but Albert saves to keep this mess going. The Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) puts Snow on the floor and Albert gorilla presses Blackman, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: F. This match is in the running for the worst match in Wrestlemania history. The joke before the match was terrible, the match was AWFUL, the story was non-existent and the silence from the fans who stayed in the arena was eerie. Other than Trish, I saw nothing good about this and no redeeming value. It’s a total failure all around.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester in a really mean and out of character attack. The team didn’t go anywhere or last long in case you weren’t sure.

We get the comedy spot of the show with female wrestler the Kat sans clothing in her dressing room but her veteran manager Mae Young keeps putting various things in front of various parts of Kat. I’m sure you get the joke.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

These three teams have been feuding with each other for months. Edge and Christian and the Hardyz had a great ladder match last year so why not add the Dudleyz (defending here) and make it a three way ladder match? Officially this is a triangle ladder match but it’s really just Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) before the TLC match was named.

Everyone brawls to start and it’s going to be almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. Jeff takes Bubba out with the Whisper in the Wind but gets caught in the Bubba Bomb. Christian brings in the first ladder but Matt makes the save. All six get inside and a second ladder is loaded up.

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now it’s D-Von going up so Christian just throws a ladder at him for the save. A HUGE Bubba Cutter brings Christian down and now the fans are understanding what they’re in for with this one. The Hardys’ legdrop/splash combo from the ladders brings the people to their feet again as the match starts to slow down a bit due to all of the crashing.

A double superplex off the ladder brings D-Von down, leaving Edge and Christian and the Hardys to climb two ladders, only to knock each other off for some huge crashes. There’s not much else you can do here aside from just listing spots as it’s one big move after another. Now all six go up on three ladders with Jeff and Christian falling all the way down to the floor (with NOTHING to catch them). Bubba goes down as well and ever the spoiled sport, he shoves the other two ladders and all three other guys down against the ropes.

The Dudleyz are left alone so they pick up the ladders and crush Christian, who somehow can still walk. 3D takes Edge down (thankfully not onto a ladder) and now it’s table time. Why the Dudleyz need those isn’t clear but why let common sense get in the way of your gimmick. To crank things up though, the Dudleyz put a table on top of two ladders like a scaffold. Another pair of tables is set under the scaffold but D-Von’s headbutt misses Jeff and only hits table.

Bubba keeps his team’s fortunes up by powerbombing Matt off the announcers’ table and through another ladder at ringside. Jeff gets up and tries to run across the barricade as is his custom but Bubba pelts a ladder at him. There’s something to cringe worthy about someone flying through the air and crashing into a big piece of metal.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

Rating: A-. This was a different kind of match than these three teams would have later on as they were just going from spot to spot here without the flow that they would have. However, this is still an amazing spectacle that got the fans into things once they gave it a chance to get going. This was ALL about going higher and higher with each step, but they didn’t know how high they could go yet. Later the matches would be about seeing how high they could take it and the results would be pure carnage. Here it’s more about fitting stuff in but it’s still an awesome match.

Mick Foley (not Mankind or Cactus Jack) is with Linda and says that this is the biggest match on the biggest show of the year so it’s the biggest match of his life. Fairy tales can come true and it could happen to HHH, Rock and Big Show, BUT IT WON’T because it’s happening to him.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

This is billed as a catfight and is more about the managers (Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young respectfully) than the wrestlers. Val Venis is the referee (sporting a referee towel instead of shirt) and you win by throwing your opponent to the floor, making it a two man battle royal. They’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is just a cool down match after the previous war. These two don’t really have a reason for fighting other than being catty with each other.

Before the match, Venis does one of his signature innuendo laden promo, talking about how he and Wrestlemania are both extravaganzas that get your blood pumping, but Wrestlemania only comes once a year. Both women are in see thru bodysuits with bikinis underneath. Kat’s is made of fishnet, thereby making her Lawler’s favorite.

They brawl to start until Val breaks it up, only to have both of them kiss him. Kat spears her down but Mae gets on the apron to try to flash Val. Terri is thrown to the floor but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s time for Mae to kiss Val as well. Both girls actually in the match fall outside but Moolah throws Terri back inside for the win at 2:26. Total mess of course, but at least they didn’t try to hide what they were doing here.

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

It’s Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn here. Eddie has been hitting on Chyna lately so she got some help and it’s time for a tag match. Too Cool has gone from jokes to a nice surprise as a midcard act due to getting over and the company giving them a chance. That is almost blasphemy today. Chyna has her fireworks bazooka which was actually pretty cool.

Eddie and Scotty get things going as the fans are all over Guerrero, likely due to him knocking off Scotty’s hat. It’s quickly off to Chyna, sending Eddie crawling over on his knees to grab Malenko’s legs. JR says Chyna looks hot, which is very outside of his standard character. A double suplex puts Dean down and it’s time for Chyna to dance. Now it’s Grandmaster suplexing Eddie down but Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop).

Saturn goes even more evil by stealing Grandmaster’s bandana, which just makes Grandmaster look stupid. Scotty comes in and is quickly hot shotted to keep the Radicalz in control. The fans only care about Eddie and Chyna here and Guerrero soaks it all up like the master he was. Grandmaster’s interference only works for a bit and Scotty busts out a double Worm, followed by Saturn kicking him in the face.

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Shane and Big Show say they’ll win and that it’s Game Over.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is a two fall match with Angle defending the Intercontinental Title first and the European Title second. The three of them have been feuding for months with Angle taking the Intercontinental Title from Jericho last month at No Way Out 2000. Before the match, Jericho says he can’t guarantee that he’ll walk out a champion but he can guarantee that Benoit and Angle will have bumps and bruises from a Y2J beating that they will never EVER forget again. So they’ll forget it at least once?

Angle gets chopped down to start as Lawler calls Backlund an idiot for setting this up. Jericho’s springboard dropkick is broken up by Benoit so Jericho dropkicks them both outside at the same time. Angle gets in his first offense with a flapjack to send Jericho into the steps. Back in and Benoit trades suplexes with Angle as Lawler channels Bobby Heenan by praising Angle for everything.

Jericho goes up again and Benoit shoves him down again, making me think that Jericho needs to adjust his strategy. He tries ANOTHER dropkick from the ropes, this time getting two on Angle as Benoit makes the save. A camel clutch on Benoit doesn’t get Jericho anywhere so he goes back to Angle, only to get caught in the crossface chickenwing. Jericho starts to fade but Benoit comes back in and throws Angle to the floor. A quick Swan Dive is good for the pin on Jericho, giving Benoit the Intercontinental Title at 7:56.

Angle is all ticked off and starts erupting with suplexes to Benoit, only to have Jericho break up the moonsault. Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho down and rolls away from a great looking moonsault to leave all three guys down. Back up and it’s Jericho taking over with a forearm and spinwheel kick, followed by the double powerbomb (one powerbomb after another without breaking his grip) to Angle.

Benoit is right back in with the rolling Germans for two on Jericho. Angle takes a German of his own and the referee counts even though Kurt’s shoulder is WAY off the mat. What a patriot. Benoit makes Jericho tap to the Crossface but the ref got bumped. Serves him right for trying to cheat an American hero. Just like everyone else, Benoit lets go of the hold instead of doing as much damage to Jericho as possible. Angle avoids another Swan Dive but Jericho is right back up with a Lionsault for the pin on Benoit and the European Title at 13:48 total.

Rating: B. This is quite the concept and there’s no way any combination of these three can go wrong. It’s also a very efficient way to get both titles off Angle without having him, the hottest prospect of them all, get pinned or have to tap out. Also well done on not having the standard triple threat formula and just letting everyone fight at the same time with the guys being down for logical reasons instead of the script calling for it. Good match, good idea, very good execution. What more can you ask for?

Vince says that Rock is very confident that Rock will win tonight. Rock however isn’t there with him. Vince guarantees to make it right tonight. You can see the swerve coming from here.

HHH promises Stephanie that he won’t allow himself to be beaten tonight.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Tori has to be saved from the same fate and DX’s attempt to leave fails. We settle down and X-Pac gets in a Bronco Buster on Rikishi before it’s off to Road Dogg for the dancing punches. Rikishi shrugs them off and brings in Kane for the big monster offense, but Kane goes after Tori instead. The Stink Face works this time and Kane Tombstones X-Pac for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. The match was bad but there’s another reason this is happening which we’ll get to in a few seconds. Rikishi was helping fight DX so he fit in here, but this was little more than filler. Kane’s attire and Tori as a good blonde there to look good and make you hate X-Pac even more worked fine.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to dance. Kane doesn’t buy it but the Chicken dances a lot better than you would expect from Rose. After they’re done, Kane goes after the Chicken but Pete Rose runs in with the ball bat, only to get chokeslammed, followed by a Stink Face to end this saga once and for all. Well until Rose showed up on Raw about ten years later. Rose certainly did whatever he needed to do and turned this one idea into an awesome three year running joke.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Elimination rules and No DQ. HHH is defending and we’ve got a rare occurrence of all four McMahons in one place. Rock and Vince come out together here for their first appearance together tonight. Show and Rock pair off while Foley pounds the champ down in the corner with some fast punches. With Rock down in the corner, Show runs the other two over with a double clothesline. Show can’t pick which guy to beat up so Foley jumps on his back, giving us a repeat of last year’s spot with Show falling backwards to crush Foley’s ribs.

Mick is right back up to break up a chokeslam to HHH (why would he do that?) and it’s a triple team on Big Show. Three straight clotheslines put the giant down but HHH just can’t work with Foley that long and a fight breaks out again. Show kicks Rock in the face but Foley hits Show in the back with a chair, knocking him into the Rock Bottom for the pin to get rid of the giant at 4:50. What a worthless addition Show was.

The three remaining guys all stare at each other and it’s HHH trying to strike a deal with both of them. Rock actually goes for it before nailing HHH from behind and the double teaming is on. They all head outside where Rock accidentally hits Foley with the bell, making Lawler even happier than in the women’s match earlier. Rock isn’t as strong as you would think though as Foley is up just a few seconds later….and he has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH low blows him to take it away though and hits Foley in the ribs but AGAIN Foley doesn’t seem in that much trouble.

This time it’s the Mandible Claw on HHH, who turns into a belt shot from Rock. The People’s Elbow is broken up by a Mandible Claw to Rock but the champ low blows them both to put all three down. Foley’s double arm DDT gets two on Rock and Rock’s single arm version gets the same with HHH making the save for some reason. Mick and HHH actually work together on Rock with Foley’s knee lift getting two (No save from HHH, making Rock look more like a threat than Foley, who HHH believes he can beat. That’s a nice touch.).

The double teaming continues on the floor but Rock whips Mick knees first into the steps. Foley pops up for the third time though and nails Rock with the steps. HHH loads up the Spanish announcers’ table and has Foley go to the middle rope for the elbow….which is left about three feet short, sending him ribs first into the table in a very sad sight. HHH has to drop about three elbows to put Rock through the table before taking Foley inside for the Pedigree……for two? JR: “HE DID IT!” A BIG chair to the head sets up the second Pedigree (with Foley collapsing) for the pin at 19:40, sending Foley into retirement for four years.

Foley takes one last bow but comes back to the ring for one good barbed wire 2×4 shot to HHH’s head (busting him open) to go out on. Somehow that’s only good for two for Rock so let’s go outside again. Rock beats him up in front of the Titantron and takes it back to ringside. HHH swings a chair to knock the steps into Rock’s face, followed by a piledriver onto the steps. This is the main event of Wrestlemania though so it’s finishers or rollups only, meaning Rock kicks out at two again.

The Pedigree is broken up and they go into the crowd for more time killing brawling. Back to ringside again with Rock suplexing the champ through the announcers’ table and it’s time for more waiting. HHH is up first but Vince sends him into the post, only to have Shane (why is he still here?) hit his dad from behind. Well you knew this was coming. A big monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly but he’s up after a ridiculous TWENTY THREE SECONDS. Vince just got hit in the head with a monitor and he’s up and going after Shane in less than thirty seconds. Who is this match supposed to showcase again?

Shane opts for a chair shot to the head and this time Vince stays down, even shedding some blood. We FINALLY go back to the match with Rock DDTing HHH, drawing Stephanie’s ridiculous looking bug eyes. The barbed wire board to Rock’s head stuns him but he’s still able to catapult HHH into Shane. HHH walks into the Rock Bottom but here’s Vince to punch Shane….and then hit Rock with a chair because SWERVE! Rock kicks out at two so Vince hits him in the head with the chair again, giving HHH the pin to retain at 36:31. That’s the first time a heel has left Wrestlemania as champion.

Rating: C+. Oh man this is a rough one. Above all else, the McMahons. They started off as background noise but by the end they were the only things that mattered here as it turned into yet another Vince/Shane/Stephanie drama, which had been the big story for the last year in one form or another. They pretty much gave away the Vince turn earlier and that doesn’t help an already bad idea.

That leaves us with the match itself, which really isn’t very good. The problem here is that they clearly spend so much time laying around and filling in time because the match goes longer than it should. Now that being said, it’s still Rock vs. HHH for eighteen minutes after Rock vs. HHH vs. Foley for about fifteen minutes so the action is at least watchable. The problem is there’s not enough action or excitement.

There were barely any near falls or moments of drama once it got down to one on one. You have the cover after Foley left (not happening), the piledriver on the steps (maybe) and the first chair shot from Vince (good near fall). You really need more than that in a long match, especially with all this other drama that really adds nothing on the outside. What you have instead is a lot of brawling, a lot of selling (fine, but not when it’s selling on the floor with no drama) and a lot of being on the floor or in the crowd. The action was good but it was bogged down by too much other stuff.

So how do you fix it? You have Rock vs. HHH instead of the four way. I understand the idea here but it’s not the kind of match to end Wrestlemania. If you want to do the four way, do it at Backlash where the pressure is gone and go with the big title win here. Foley not being around would have been a loss, but the match would have been better overall, unless you don’t have Rock in the main event here, which would mean changing the booking months before Wrestlemania. The four way was unique but it really didn’t work in this spot, at least not like it needed to do.

Vince and Stephanie reunite but Vince yells at Shane. Rock comes back in to lay out all three of them with Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to Stephanie (to be fair, she slapped him after he beat up Vince and Shane). Rock poses a lot to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the biggest show of the year in the best year they ever had and I think they just collapsed under the weight. You had two really good matches to carry the show but the main event is more like a disappointing experiment. The rest ranges from bad to wasting time with some bizarre choices like the Head Cheese mess.

The strangest part here is what this led to, as Backlash later in the month would be the show of the year with all the fallout from Wrestlemania, including Rock beating HHH to win the World Title. There are FAR worse Wrestlemanias but this was really more like a commercial for the next few months. Check out the triple threat and the ladder match but just get to the next year’s show otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.

We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.

We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.

We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.

We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.

Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.

Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.

We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.

Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.

Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.

Trish is ready in the back.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being sans clothing and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a certain part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.

Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.

HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.

We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.

Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.

The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87^th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 2000
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Star Spangled Banner: Lillian Garcia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This whole show is an interesting one, and this is primarily for two reasons. Number one: there is not a standard one on one match on the whole card. That’s just odd for any show. The other thing: Steve Austin and Undertaker were out with injuries here. This show is also important though because it’s the first show where all your big names are just that: big names.

HHH is the reigning WWF Champion, Rock is the #1 face in the company, Big Show is there for some reason, and Foley is “retired”, but getting one more shot as he finally gets to main event a Wrestlemania, which is a nice thing to let him do, despite the fact that he really had no business there at all. He was added less than two weeks before the show after the original main event, a three way match with HHH, Rock and Big Show happened on Raw for no apparent reasons at the time.

Also at this show, we have the WM debuts of Benoit, Angle, the Hardyz and the Dudleyz, as well as Edge and Christian being actual wrestlers here for the first time. This is the first show with the new generation being around, and it showed really well. It’s also the first show where the company more or less knew that WCW and any real threat to WWF’s survival was dead, so they didn’t have to nail it to ensure where their next paycheck was coming from. However, the important question is obvious: is the show with all these new stars better than last year’s? Let’s get to it.

Sweet goodness Lillian looks different here. She aged very well and actually looks better older than she does here. She can still sing though.
After a video highlighting the previous Manias either narrated by James Earl Jones (Darth Vader in an explanation I can’t believe I had to make) or the greatest imitation of his voice ever recorded, for the first time in Mania history, we get the MASSIVE pyro display that has become a standard in WWF. So with all this new talent, what’s our first great match?

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Eh? We’re opening the show that’s supposed to lead the WWF and therefore the wrestling business into the new millennium and this is what you give us? And people wonder why wrestling went downhill in a hurry once WCW died. Godfather and Brown are rapped to the ring by Ice T, who I try to block out as most of the time these live intros are awful. Brown is a co-pimp here.

Remember the catchy Godfather entrance? This isn’t close to it. Ice T does some song that includes the lyric Pimp Or Die. Something sound bad about that? This intro goes on WAY too long and sums up what I hate about rap: this whole thing is just loud and stupid sounding. It was built to market a CD called Aggression which was a rap album of WWF entrance themes. In case you can’t guess, it bombed.

After that completely pointless intro, Godfather decides he has to do his awful intro, saying for everyone to smoke a blunt and say it ain’t easy. FINALLY Bossman’s terribly bland theme music plays and the pain in my head goes away a little bit. Godfather has really stupid looking dreadlocks here and is somehow dumber looking than usual.

There’s really no reason as to why these two are feuding in case you thought there was. Is it possible that D’Lo Brown is the most successful of these four men? I do believe he is and that’s a scary thought. Anyway let’s get to this. Brown vs. Buchanan to start us off with Brown controlling so far. Godfather takes Boss Man’s interfering head off while Brown is on offense.

Off to the pimp now as the fans want puppies. Big elbow misses as we talk about JR wearing some of Godfather’s clothes for some reason. Basically Boss Man dominates when he’s in and Buchanan can do one move, that running up the corner into a spinning clothesline. Blind tag brings in the Boss Man who gets two on Brown as Godfather saves.

Axe kick by Buchanan gets two. Brown and Boss Man on the floor now and Godfather accidentally clotheslines the referee. I say accidentally as the referee doesn’t even go down so it wasn’t the point obviously. Boss Man gets two on Brown who is the face in peril here. Buchanan with a bearhug now as the fans chant for D’lo.

Naturally that doesn’t do it but an elbow takes down Brown. Double teaming by the guys in black as Godfather just looks stupid. Boss Man sucks chant starts up. The beating goes on for awhile with Buchanan hitting a double axe off the top. We talk about Pete Rose for a bit and apparently he’s got a ball bat with him just in case.

Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Godfather and Brown busts out a rana to break the momentum. Here’s Godfather who cleans some house. Ho Train hits Boss Man in the corner sets up the Lo Down from Brown. Bull pushes him off the top though but Brown lands on his feet. Boss Man Slam kills D’lo though and a guillotine leg drop from Buchanan ends this.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s Godfather/Brown vs. Boss Man/Buchanan. It’s not a terrible match but is this really what you want to open Mania? Also, a heel team winning the opener? Just not a great idea especially after the crowd got fired up for the rapping. Not bad but just odd.

Steph and HHH are in their office talking about how great their lives are.

The referees explain the rules of the Hardcore Battle Royal tonight. It’s a 15 minute time limit. There’s no limit to the amount of title changes in that period. Apparently the 24/7 rule is waved after tonight. I think Crash has to be pinned to get the title off of him.
Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Farrooq, Bradshaw
The idea here was that the Hardcore Title was defended 24/7, as long as the challenger had a referee with him. This led to some interesting situations such as pin falls as amusement parks, hotels, etc. You have 13 guys here and whoever gets the last pinfall leaves with the belt, which would be kind of pointless as the 24/7 rule would be in effect so he could get attacked seconds after it ended right? It’s not really a battle royal but rather a 13 man match.

There are weapons at ringside and thankfully a lot of the guys come out in groups or teams to save some time. The Posse gets a small pop. The APA gets the biggest pop by far. Here we go. Remember there are 15 minutes to this period. Everyone but Crash and Taz go to the floor almost immediately and Tazz gets a suplex on Crash to win the title in maybe a minute. Now they have to pin him to get the title, which Viscera does with a splash. We’re not even at 13 minutes left yet.

Everyone is on the floor now and someone has a box fan. There’s a flag in there. The Posse of all people jump Viscera and they actually work for a bit. Lots of weapon shots to Viscera, mainly from the APA. Crash is busted open. They’ve taken the clock off the screen now because they want us to have to think I guess. Crash, ever the lunkhead, tries to jump the future Big Daddy V.

The crowd is kind of dead as they’re just hitting each other with weapons here. Bradshaw is like screw it and starts beating the tar out of people. Hardcore gets two on Viscera after a shot with a trashcan lid. Ten minutes left as JR says these guys won’t forget their first Wrestlemania. I’m not sure how many this is their first for. Taz is I think and that might be it. Funaki maybe?

We haven’t had a fall in like four minutes. 2/3 of the Posse and Viscera are in the ring now with Thrasher. Viscera beats everyone up with a cookie sheet. Farrooq comes in as Viscera climbs the ropes for no apparent reason. The APA get a double slam which doesn’t really keep him down. They throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera and Funaki is called the new champion.

Taka immediately smacks him upside his head and the chase is on! Funaki proves to be the most intelligent guy here as he’s trying to run. With a little under seven minutes left some of the Posse catches him in the back and Rodney steals the title. Abs gets a suplex and gets the title. That was a 24 second title reign for those keeping count. Thrasher rams Joey into a wall and gets the title.

Thrasher then runs through a line of people who all hit him with weapons and we’re back in the arena now. Pete Gas finds a fire extinguisher and the third member of the Posse has the title now. Then Tazz grabs him and I think Pete is busted. Oh yeah he’s busted good. A T-Bone Suplex gives Taz his second reign of the night with a little over 4 minutes left.

Hardcore gets two after ramming him into the steps. Crash is busted BAD. Taz tries to pin Mosh as I guess instincts took over or something. Taz keeps kicking out. Both Hollies fight Taz in the ring with Crash not being able to do much at all. ECW chant starts up and we’re under three minutes. Taz stands alone and covers Crash with two and a half minutes to go. Eh it’s not a big deal. As a wrestler I guess you’re trained to go for covers.

The Hollies beat Crash down and both guys try for the pin. Naturally they end up fighting which is what they do in that family I guess. With two minutes left Taz suplexes Crash and Hardcore gets a powerslam on Taz for two. I love how no one else has seemed to care about trying to win the title and is just fighting. Taz suplexes Hardcore and he hits the floor, stealing JR’s candy jar.

Now we get to the weird part of this. Crash gets a weapon shot in on Taz and wins the title with about 20 seconds to go. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore comes in with the candy jar and busts it over Taz’s head (legitimately injuring Taz’s eye and costing him the push that would ultimately go to Chris Benoit). He covers Crash and the referee just doesn’t slap the mat for three.

What was supposed to happen was the clock was supposed to go out with Hardcore having a 2.99999 count. They messed up the timing though and the referee had to stop. They further messed things up by having Fink say Hardcore won the title while JR screams that there was a shoulder up. Totally not the planned ending but you have to do what you have to do.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? The idea makes sense and given what’s going on, the mistake at the end is very excusable in my mind, and since this is my review of the show, it’s excusable. It was wild and stupid, and that’s just fine. The match was fun and that’s all that really matters.

Video on Axxess. That still looks awesome. They have a small arena with matches going on, a commentary booth where you can sit down with Michael Cole and call a match, race cars, autograph booths, a Hall of Fame exhibit. Austin and HBK, two guys that weren’t active at this time, are there too. I’d love to go to something like that.
Al Snow is in the bathroom talking to someone in a stall but Steve Blackman is worried about what he’s planning.

We go from that to an extreme closeup of Trish’s ample chest as she says WM is going to see some T & A.

Test/Albert vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

This was a really weird angle in the tag division as Snow and Blackman were doing the odd pairing that won almost every match they had, but Snow insisted that they needed a name which didn’t go that well. Test and Albert were guys that Trish had handpicked to be her team. What you have to remember here about Trish is at the time, she wasn’t a wrestler and was nothing more than the hot manager. It wasn’t for about two more years before she and Lita took the division to new heights.

As for the match, before it we get Al Snow talking. One of the names he was pitching was Head Cheese, going along with his Head gimmick. Out comes Chester McCheesyton, a walking piece of cheese. Sadly enough, I’m not making that up. Trish leads their opponents down, but is WAY more muscular than when she started wrestling. If this is believable, she let herself go physically before she started wrestling.

Lawler messes up the headsets and JR is gone for a bit. Blackman and Test start but it’s off to Snow soon thereafter. Blackman tries to keep the Head Cheese chants down as this filler match goes on. This is a good show later on but these opening matches are pretty freaking bad all things considered. I’m watching Al Snow and Steve Blackman at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.

Oh and JR is back now. It breaks down quickly as you can tell JR has nothing to work with here at all. There’s no point in talking about the match as it’s just about getting us to the end and that’s all there is to it. The cheese hits on Trish and is named Chester the Molester. Albert gets beaten down for awhile as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. This is what Raw and Smackdown are for.

Did I mention that this match is terribly boring? It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening in the ring but nothing matters at all. Crowd is DEAD here. It doesn’t help that the wrestling is boring. Double powerbomb to Snow gets two. There’s the boring chant. Bowling shoe tendency line by Ross. Head Cheese’s finishing move, the move that the Smoking Guns called the Sidewinder, gets two. FINALLY Albert gets a press slam on Blackman and the elbow from Test ends it.

Rating: F. Thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen and somehow it’s nearly an hour into the show. Just a terrible match all around and everyone knew it. Get on to whatever is next please.

The “good guys” beat up the cheese dude post match.

We get a horrible segment of Kat and Mae Young where Kat is sitting in a chair sans clothing and Mae keeps handing her things that cover up certain parts. Austin Powers was very big at this time and it’s supposed to be like that I think.

The Dudleys, still in their original AWESOME mode, say they’ll win and even though the odds are against them they’ll take things to a new level. These two more or less saved the division.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This was before the name TLC was coined, but it’s the same thing with a bigger emphasis on the ladders. Edge and Christian were still chasing the belts at this point and the Dudleyz are the defending champions. At this time, the Dudleyz were so over it’s mind blowing and they were easily the biggest tag team in the world. There’s no backstory here other than they’ve been feuding over the belts and E/C and the Hardys have had ladder matches before. These matches never have much backstory but they don’t need to.

The Dudleys climb a ladder and pose during their entrance so the other two teams start fighting without them. All six guys brawl in the aisle until Matt and Christian hit the ring. Matt and Jeff look A LOT alike here so I’ll likely get them mixed up at least once or twice. These matches are very hard to call so it’s likely that I’ll miss something.

Bubba beats on Jeff in the ring until Jeff gets what would become known as Whisper in the Wind to reverse. Bubba Bomb and Bubba rules the ring. That may never be said again forever. The fans want tables as Christian goes up the ladder early. Matt saves as the ladders are brought in quickly. Crowd is surprisingly quiet here but after the first three matches they had to sit through I can understand that.

We start the violence though and the fans wake up a good bit. Ladders are rammed into people and pain is caused. Matt gets the screaming…elbow onto D-Von onto the ladder. Jeff tries a 450 onto Bubba onto the ladder but the fat country boy moves and Jeff nearly kills himself again. In other news, the sun came up today. Bubba actually hits the backsplash off the middle rope but hits his head on the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN!

Matt’s entire body is crushed by a ladder and then the same thing happens to Edge. They’re doing a lot more with the ladders here. Bubba does the Terry Funk spot as he spins around with the ladder around his neck. Edge/Christian beat on D-Von for awhile and then sit up a ladder in front of the ropes. Christian dives off and takes out Matt and Bubba. Nice dive indeed.

Jeff goes up but Edge dives off the top rope to spear him down. Oh man would that be topped by about a thousand next year. Edge takes a Crucifix Bomb from Matt off the ladder. Christian throws a ladder at D-Von. Why do stuff that is too complicated I guess? Three ladders set up now but Bubba takes Christian down with the Cutter off the ladder. SWEET spot.

The Hardys kill Bubba with the legdrop/splash combo off ladders. D-Von and Christian in the ring now but here’s Edge. The Canadians get a double suplex off the ladder in a great spot. Everyone but the Dudleys go up and everyone but the Dudleys crash down. And here comes Bubba! Here they go again, this time with all six of them.

Christian and Jeff go flying over the top rope to the floor as do Matt and Edge. The Dudleys wind up in the ring somehow but they’re a bit dead at the moment. Christian staggers to his feet and is sandwiched between two ladders. The look on his face in short says “That hurt a LOT!” Old school 3D to Edge, which is where Bubba runs parallel to him and then crosses over to catch Edge in the cutter in stride. It’s an awesome move when done right.

The Dudleys don’t have their catchphrase yet so they just get the tables. With two ladders already in the ring the ring, the Dudleys set up a table on top of them like a bridge/platform between them. The Hardys are back now to surprising booing. To the floor we go and Matt is slammed into the steps and HARD. This has been an incredibly physical match to say the least.

There’s a table in the ring in front of a ladder with D-Von on said ladder and a table in front of the announce table. Matt goes on the one in the ring and Jeff is in a powerbomb position in Bubba’s hands on the announce table. In stereo, D-Von dives onto Matt and Bubba powerbombs Jeff in a cool sequence. Jeff somehow gets up soon thereafter and tries his barrier run but Bubba PELTS the ladder at him to stop Jeff in midair which looked sweet again. Jeff has taken a man’s beating in this.

And now it’s time to set up the big spot in this match as Bubba debuts the super ladder in the aisle. There’s a table set up in front of it and Jeff gets laid out on it. Christian comes up with the bell to clock Bubba. Jeff gets off the table as Bubba is laid on it. And he begins to climb. In the HOLY CRAP spot of the match, Jeff jumps off the ladder and half kills himself with a Swanton Bomb through Bubba through the table. That was the top of Jeff’s highlight reel for a long time.

Back in the ring with D-Von kind of alive. Matt and Christian are in there too and are trying to stand. Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and Matt and Christian both start climbing. They get up on the platform but Edge is climbing up behind Matt. Edge throws him off and through a table which explodes on impact. The Canadians grab the belts and win their first tag titles to finally end this.

Rating: B+. This was a great match but there are a lot of dead spots in there. Jeff is easily the star of this match as he took one of the best beatings you’ll ever see with huge bump after huge bump. Somehow this would be topped the next year and this match would be blown out of the water. Great match and definitely picked up a bad show so far. I liked it quite a bit but somehow next year’s was that much better.

In the back we have Linda McMahon with Mick Foley. I forgot to mention, the idea behind the main event is that there’s a McMahon in every corner. Stephanie and HHH, Vince is backing Rock, Linda brought Mick back in, and Shane was Big Show’s manager for lack of a better term. Foley, with washed hair, says his fairy tale will come true, not his opponents.

JR and King talk about how great the ladder match was and they’re right. Considering that almost nothing like this had ever been done with so many people, this was beyond great.

Terri vs. The Kat

Val Venis is the guest referee here. To cover up the fact that neither can wrestle, the only thing you have to do here is throw the other girl out of the ring. Val’s pre match promos are always great. Apparently he and WM have things in common: they’re large extravaganzas, they get blood pumping, but unlike Val, Mania only comes once a year. And people have the nerve to wonder why the Attitude Era scared away parents.

Terri has Moolah with her and Kat has Mae Young. This is one of the major problems with great matches: after them, you get stuff like this. Terri truly was ugly to me. Val makes out with both in the middle of the match as this continues to cry out for someone to save the division. Terri gets thrown out but Mae is kissing Val. She comes back in and Terri wins. Afterwards, Kat strips Terri of her pants.

Rating: F. Didn’t care at all and it was terrible. A complete waste of time and an insult to my intelligence. It was like two minutes long and awful to say the least.

In the back we see Eddie, Saturn and Malenko getting ready to face Too Cool and Chyna. Eddie has a crush on Chyna but can’t get her attention.

Chyna/Too Cool vs. The Radicalz

This feud went on forever and no one cared. Let’s get this over with. All I have to remember is that the triple threat is next. That should get me through this. Oh well at least Chyna looks pretty good here. I’ll give Too Cool this: their music is downright catchy. Scotty vs. Eddie starts us off here. Eddie gets beaten down a bit and we get some dancing.

Chyna is tagged in and Eddie literally runs away on his knees. Dean, the Light Heavyweight Champion is here now. JR thinks Chyna looks hot. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Grandmaster and Chyna hit a double suplex on Malenko. Hey look: more dancing. Is that all Too Cool could do? Back to Eddie who avoids the top rope legdrop. Ok so it was more like Saturn shoved Grandmaster off but work for me here.

Grandmaster vs. Saturn at the moment. Saturn steals Grandmaster’s head gear complete with dreadlocks or whatever that is. Back to Eddie who takes over for a bit and it’s cold tag to Scotty. Eddie keeps trying to get Chyna’s attention which fails completely. Since she isn’t paying enough attention she gets her head rammed into the post. Good. Witch deserved it.

Saturn and Malenko get beaten up by Scotty and it’s time for the Worm. Oh but since it’s Mania it’s a double Worm to both Radicalz not named Eddie. Everything breaks down a bit as we’re still waiting on Eddie vs. Chyna. Nice superkick by Saturn to Scotty as we’re in a bit more of a standard match now. Elbow hits Scotty from the top for no cover.

Off to Eddie but he can’t get the Frog Splash off. Scotty drills him and it’s a superplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Chyna and Eddie can’t run away fast enough. Handspring elbow to Saturn as Chyna is cleaning house. Double low blow and Eddie drills Chyna. Chyna counters a powerbomb and gets a bad one of her own. She grabs Eddie’s balls and then gets a sleeper drop for the pin. They would be together the following night.

Rating: D. Well Chyna looked good and she got to beat on Eddie. That’s the extent of the good stuff about this match. It’s nothing special to say the slightest and is yet again another pointless match on this show in a long streak of them. Again though, the triple threat is next. Keep repeating that.
That day there was a thing called All Day Long which was an 8 hour countdown of WM history that cost an extra 50 dollars. Our cable company screwed up and we got It for free. Anyway the point of this is there was a contest with the winner getting front row seats and the winner is shown. She and her husband are the definition of white trash but it’s kind of a cool idea. They’re from Allentown, Pennsylvania, hometoiwn of the Nasty Boys as I show my nerdiness.

Shane tells us how awesome Big Show is. Show says he’s awesome and will take apart the other three.

Bob Backlund who is kind of Angle’s mentor made the match with both titles being defended in the same match/back to back. Kurt kind of goes insane and puts Backlund in the crossface chickenwing even though you can tell there’s no pressure on the arm. One of the medals breaks during this scuffle.

Angle talks to a security guard to try to get some extra security, offering autographs as payment. Much funnier than it sounds.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

This is the match that everyone remembers from this show as well as being a very cool concept. Angle has both the European and Intercontinental titles and is defending both in back to back triple threat matches. The first fall is for the IC title and immediately thereafter the European Title match starts. With these three, are you expecting less than greatness?

The brilliance behind this is that even if one has a bad night, the other two are there to cover for them. Jericho is clearly having a blast on the mic here and says he’ll win something and be the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah no matter what. Angle is still the goofball heel which is some of the best stuff I can ever remember. Him being less than a year into his pro career is insane.

Speaking of insane, Benoit jumps him on the floor and the fight is on. They seem to be attacking Angle together for the most part but he fights them off somewhat. Benoit vs. Jericho now as this is rather fast paced. With Benoit and Angle on the apron, Jericho hits his springboard dropkick to take them both out to the floor. There’s a really annoying kid in the audience that is shouting about everything that’s said. Granted that’s not a terrible thing as that’s what fans are supposed to do.

Ross says Angle is great but talks about himself too much. Lawler: “So does Jericho.” Ross: “That’s a good point King. Maybe later you’ll make another.” No one ever accused JR of being the nicest guy in the world. Jericho is knocked off the top out to the floor where he slams into the table in a painful looking bump. Angle gets a snap suplex on Benoit for two.

Jericho knocks Angle to the floor and locks in a camel clutch to Benoit. This is too fast paced to call everything and they keep going back and forth. Jericho suplexes Angle and Benoit almost steals a pin. Then he does something stupid and tries to suplex Kurt. I think you get what winds up happening to Jericho. Benoit is sent to the floor and in some slick counters Angle gets a crossface chicken wing on Jericho.

Benoit manages to get a dropkick to Angle to break it up at the last second. He throws Angle into the crowd and hits the swan dive to Jericho for the pin and the Intercontinental Title. In a smart move Benoit tries to immediately cover Jericho but Angle breaks it up. All three are back in there now and Angle’s moonsault is crotched.

Angle is up top and Jericho tries a belly to back suplex. Benoit drills Jericho and suplexes him instead. Angle tries the moonsault to Benoit but crashes and everyone is down for a count. After some covers Jericho grabs the Walls on Angle but Benoit breaks it up. Angle wakes up and hammers away but Jericho takes him and Benoit down with relative ease. Double powerbomb to Angle but Benoit saves again. Rolling Germans by Benoit to Jericho get two as well.

Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Suplex to Kurt. Angle’s shoulder might have been up on the bridge so Jerry screams conspiracy. Jericho misses the forearm and drills the referee with it. Crossface goes on and Jericho taps but there’s no referee. Walls of Jericho to Benoit but still no ref. Angle drills Jericho with a belt to break it up which only gets two. Benoit misses the Swan Dive to Angle so Jericho hits his fellow Canadian with the Lionsalt for the European Title to end this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff indeed with all three guys working incredibly hard the entire time. It’s also a good way to get the titles off of Kurt without hurting his reputation. He would be world champion in the fall so he doesn’t have much to complain about. Excellent match and probably their best matches up to this point.

Vince is in the back with Cole as apparently the four way can only have eliminations via pinfall and it’s No DQ. For a multi-man match, that’s the best way to go. Vince says the McMahons won’t be a factor. That’s why they were the focal point of the match right? Vince says he’ll “make it right.”

HHH says he will not lose.

Kane/Rikishi vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg

This is pure filler before the title match, but there’s a story to it at least. DX is accompanied by Tori who is Kane’s ex. She was his first relationship and left X-Pac, allegedly because Kane wasn’t big enough for her. She’s pure sexuality and while she’s not the most famous or attractive diva, she’s one of the sexiest. The name Pete Rose is thrown around here as he might want a piece of Kane after two years of getting beaten up. Kane has been chasing X-Pac for months and this is about the best shot he ever got at him.

Well if nothing else we get the awesome Kings of Rock theme for DX. The more I see of Jesse James, the more I’m impressed. We now get Rikishi. Oh yay, it’s Rikishi. GOOD GRIEF I HATED THIS GUY. People, you want to complain about JBL being useless? This is the epitome of useless. If you remember earlier on I said there was no Austin. He was out getting neck surgery so the reason given was that he was run over by a car at the Survivor Series. No one knew who was driving it or who was behind it.

Austin comes back in the fall from being out nearly a year and the man hunt begins. Who was it? HHH, Rock, Vince, maybe even one of the new guys like Jericho or Benoit, looking to make a name for themselves? Nope. It’s Rikishi, the 400lb, thong wearing, dancing sumo wrestler. He debuted about a week after Austin was run over and while Austin was out, Rikishi rose to the IC title in a decent run and hit amazing popularity.

Then in the worst move I can ever remember, he’s revealed as the mastermind of the plot to attack Austin. They have a match and finally everyone realizes the massive problem: Austin can’t beat Rikishi up the way he usually does others because he’s too fat.

No one buys into Rikishi as the big bad he was supposed to be, so WWF pulled the blug at the last minute and said Rikishi was working for HHH, making him the true evil one. Rikishi was gone soon thereafter, thank goodness. Anyway, Kane comes out to end my hate filled rant. Paul Bearer in the red suit is just sweet looking for some reason.

Bearer and Tori get into an argument so DX double teams Rikishi. Kane has the inverted colors tonight which is awesome. Stinkface to Road Dogg as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Stinkface to Tori is avoided to big booing. DX tries to run which doesn’t work at all. Kane finally gets his hands on X-Pac.

We finally get back in the ring and Pac kicks Rikishi’s head off. Pac vs. Rikishi is how we finally start it up. Bronco Buster by Pac and it’s off to Roadie. Pac in again and he can’t do a thing. Rikishi hits a one man 3D and it’s off to Kane. Road Dogg gets his head kicked off and Tori is thrown in. Stinkface for her and a Tombstone for X-Pac ends it quickly.

Rating: D+. Well for what it was supposed to be this was fine. Keeping it short was a great thing as this barely broke four minutes. Kane gets his revenge, we get the comedy stuff, Tori looked good, and then we get what the whole point of this is about: the post match stuff.

Too Cool comes out to dance but the San Diego Chicken comes out like last year. Rikishi comes in to kill the chicken but is intercepted by some yellow sunglasses. Somehow the dancing gets the best pop of the night. The chicken can move and it’s pretty clear that’s not Rose. Kane goes after the chicken but Pete Rose comes in.

Chokeslam to Rose and Paul Bearer does the crotch chop to him. Rose gets a Stinkface to FINALLY end this. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s childish, I know it’s idiotic, but I absolutely love these Pete Rose segments. The guy is having fun and gets beaten up three straight years and it’s still awesome. I loved these things and they still make me smile. Kane’s pyro is louder than usual and it made me jump a bit.

Rock says his time is now and he’s taking the title back. This is serious Rock and it works very well.

Some celebrities are here.

Quick recap of the title match. HHH was WWF Champion so he’s explained. He was feuding with Cactus Jake and retired him at No Way Out. As a favor to him in real life, WWF brought him back in for one final match so he could live out his dream of main eventing a Wrestlemania. Since he was officially retired, if he wins here he vacates the title and a tournament starts that ends at next month’s Backlash.

Rock was the last man out of the Rumble, eliminating Big Show. However, Big Show produces a video showing that Rock’s feet hit the ground before Show’s, so Show officially won. Rock had signed the contracts though, so he couldn’t be taken out but Show could be added, leading to all four being in here. Also remember the McMahon in every corner aspect (Linda – Mick, Stephanie – HHH, Vince – Rock, Shane – Big Show).

WWF World Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show

Foley comes out first and you can tell he’s choked up. This was classy of WWF to let him have one last time and to let him accomplish his dream like this. It’s clear that the McMahons are the focal point here and is anyone really surprised by that? Big ovation for Rock here as this totally should have been Rock vs. HHH. I get the Foley addition, but did anyone want to see Big Show in there? I miss HHH’s My Time music. That was awesome.

HHH was at the absolute peak of evil here and he looks like awesome. If Stephanie’s hair didn’t look absurd, that bareback pink top and leather pants would work a lot better. HHH doesn’t quite have the water spit down yet. Here we go. Foley vs. HHH and Rock vs. Big Show to start. No tagging here of course. They say fatal fourway but it’s elimination. Foley is out of shape here as he more or less stopped training after No Way Out but to be fair he thought he was done.

Show beats down Rock and takes down the other guys with a double clothesline. Press slam to Rock which is incredibly impressive. Same to HHH. Foley jumps on his back so Show just drops backwards with him. Well why do something other than what works? Rock gets up and hammers away but a side slam takes care of that.

Show tries a chokeslam on HHH but Foley kicks him low. Foley and HHH hammer away on the Giant as does Rock. A trio of clotheslines put him down and they do a Horsemen stomp. Foley drills HHH out of instinct and they hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline. Chair to the ribs of HHH as Shane trips Rock. Foley blasts Show in the back with a chair and a Rock Bottom puts Show out less than five minutes in. Was there ANY point to him being there? He would be a face in like a week which was good for him and us as we got THE SHOWSTER.

HHH tries to ally himself with Foley to get rid of Rock. That fails so HHH tries to ally himself with Rock to get rid of Foley. Take a guess as to what happens next. The double teaming of HHH goes on for awhile and we go out to the floor. Foley hands Rock the bell but HHH ducks and the bell hits Foley in the head instead. Out of nowhere Mick finds the 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire, drawing a big pop from the crowd.

HHH gets a low blow to save himself and gets the 2×4 for a shot to Foley’s ribs. Rock back in now and the 2×4 is dropped to the floor. Rock is sent to the floor and Foley gets a double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Mr. Socko time and the Claw goes on. Rock grabs the belt and blasts HHH so he can set for the People’s Elbow. Surprisingly though Foley grabs the Claw on Rock, only for the Rock N Sock Connection to take a double low blow to put all three down.

Rock vs. Foley for a bit now as Foley gets some near falls with the double arm DDT getting the closest one. Vince slid a chair in earlier but Foley gets it. Rock kicks it into his face though and then hammers away. He gets a DDT on Foley but HHH breaks it up, causing confusion from the announcers. Foley makes a deal with HHH to get rid of the Rock and the double team is on to huge booing.

Out to the floor where the double teaming continues. Mick gets reversed and his knees crash into the stairs. Those same stairs are rammed into the head of the Rock by Foley to keep Rock down. Rock is put on the Spanish Announce Table so Foley can go to the middle rope for the elbow. The problem is that he couldn’t jump that well and slams chest first into the side of the table, legitimately injuring his sternum.

HHH gets all mad and drops two jumping elbows onto Rock to break him through the table. Back in the ring Foley takes the Pedigree for a long two and a big pop. HHH shoves the referee down and then kills Foley with a chair to the head. Pedigree on the chair and Foley didn’t wrestle again for four years. Rock vs. HHH now for the title, but do you really think Foley is leaving that easily? He comes back and blasts HHH in the head with the barbed wire so that Rock can get two.

Rock clotheslines HHH to the floor and remember it has to end by pinfall. Out to the floor now and we go up the aisle. Rock gets a suplex up by the entrance in a cool looking crash landing. All Rock here. Into the crowd they go and then it’s back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH pops him with a chair so that the steps hit Rock in the head and fall on his chest. HHH hammers the steps with the chair. A Piledriver on the steps kills Rock but only gets two back in the ring. Big pop for that kickout.

Both finishers are countered with the Pedigree being backdropped to the floor. We go into the crowd again as it’s pretty clear they’re killing time before the finish. Back to the ring area and HHH smacks the hat off the head of an annoying fan. Spinebuster (called a takedown by Ross) on the floor by Rock puts both guys down.

We head to the announce table with Rock suplexing HHH onto the English announce table. You can tell it’s a big match when the American table is busted too. HHH gets a drop toehold to the steps to put Rock down. For some reason he gets in HHH’s face and Vince kicks some Game. Shane is back now and beats down Vince a bit.

Shane hits Vince in the head with a monitor and the look on Stephanie’s face that we cut to is perhaps the most unintentionally funny things you will ever see on WWE television. Stephanie is a lot of things. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy, she’s a great TV character, but she cannot act to save her life and this is one of those instances. She looks like the guy from Troll 2 if that gives you any indication of how stupid she looks here.

Anyway, Vince somehow pops up from a monitor shot to the head within 20 seconds and goes after Shane. Keep in mind that this sequence, which has gone on for like two minutes now, is happening during THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA. Yes, The Rock vs. HHH, perhaps the greatest feud of the Attitude Era other than Vince vs. Austin and the feud that would carry the comfpany to unthought of levels in 2000 isn’t enough as we need to focus on the McMahons and their drama. This is why this match and show are considered weak: it was about the McMahons and that’s it.

Shane manages to crack Vince’s head with the chair to put him down. They’ve literally not had the camera on HHH or Rock or the ring for three minutes now. They’re in the ring salsa dancing for all I know. Vince is busted open and taken to the back. There’s a trickle of blood which JR is saying is flowing by the quart.

HOLY CRAP IT’S WRESTLING TIME! Rock hammers on HHH and gets a DDT for two. Rock gets a slam for two as Shane has a chair on the floor. HHH gets a facebuster and drills Rock in the head with the 2×4. Shane in now but the reversed Pedigree sends HHH flying into Shane. Rock Bottom but Rock is spent. Shane is up with the chair now but here’s Vince as AGAIN it’s all about the McMahons. Shane goes down, Vince gets the chair, turns on Rock (SHOCKING!), chair to Rock, kick out, HHH gets the chair and drills Rock with it for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well let’s see. First of all, WAY too much focus on the McMahons. Second, this should have been Rock vs. HHH. That’s all there is to it. Also, a fatal fourway elimination match in the main event of Wrestlemania? That sounds like something from a video game. Also, when does a heel win in the main event of Wrestlemania? It’s supposed to be a feel good moment and that simply didn’t happen here. No clue what they were thinking here but it didn’t work like at all.

Vince and Stephanie reunite post match. Rock gets up and all three McMahons take Rock Bottoms. Stephanie gets a People’s Elbow after hers and it looked like Rock grabbed something when he was getting up for it.

Overall Rating: D. This was….bad. The show itself is mostly watch, but THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA. This isn’t Judgment Day….scratch that as Judgment Day in 2000 was great. This isn’t some WCW show where watchable is a good night. WWF was incredible in 2000 and this is probably the weakest show of the year by far.

I have no idea what the thought process was here but it certainly didn’t work at all. There are two good matches here and more importantly, not one singles match. What the heck were they thinking here? That’s a very good question that I don’t think has ever gotten an answer. Terrible show overall and it just didn’t work, especially for Mania.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big show as we’re in the World’s Most Famous Arena for one of the last two shows before a gimmick pay per view on a Tuesday. Last week’s Raw saw Randy Orton try to turn Ric Flair away from the dark side, only to get screwed out of the Taboo Tuesday title match voting. I’m sure you know where this is headed so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Orton and Flair last week with Orton’s very good promo that was wasted by the end of the night.

Opening sequence.

The arena is set up as normal, which takes away some of the MSG charm.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair for a chat. Flair recaps last week and wants to correct himself: HHH isn’t the greatest wrestler alive because he’s the greatest of all time. So isn’t he the greatest alive too? Flair is the only man who can say that because Orton has been barred from the building. I’m not sure how those things go together but Flair keeps going by ripping on people Orton has taken out who certainly aren’t legends.

As for Taboo Tuesday, Flair and Orton are fighting one more time in either a falls count anywhere match, a submission match or a cage match. HHH talks about how Taboo Tuesday is going to be a complete disaster (he’s not wrong) because fans can’t be relied on to make decisions. He’s supposed to rely on people like the ones in the front row to make decisions? These people must like that they get to decide Evolution’s fate. To quote an “overrated Hollywood actor”, “It doesn’t matter what you think.”

Taboo Tuesday is a joke and a sham but here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho says that this is NOT a repeat, even though HHH is complaining about Taboo Tuesday again. This is Raw Is Jericho so let’s take a poll here tonight. The fans don’t seem to think that HHH is the greatest wrestler alive today, or the greatest of all time for that matter. What about the biggest horse’s a** that ever walked the face of the earth? Jericho: “It looks like we have a winner!”

Jericho reminds us that he inspired Taboo Tuesday in the first place and he’ll be the one laughing when HHH loses the title. Flair demands that he come out here right now for some respect but Jericho comes to the ring with a chair. Cue Batista from behind though and the beatdown is on until Edge and Chris Benoit makes the save. Sounds like another six man, which is far from a bad idea.

Sidebar: so allegedly the reason why HHH got the title back at Unforgiven was he didn’t think fans would want to vote on three heels for Taboo Tuesday. The voting for the Orton vs. Flair match proves that what he’s saying is completely ridiculous, as you could have had the fans pick a stipulation for Orton vs. HHH and swap Flair in for HHH to face Shawn, Edge or Benoit with everything else being the same. How was that not a viable option? Other than HHH doesn’t get the title back of course.

Christian isn’t that impressed with being in Madison Square Garden because Shawn Michaels gets too much credit for that one ladder match in this building. He had a big match here at Wrestlemania XX and actually won. When he beats Shawn tonight, he’s taking the torch the fans are carrying for Michaels.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

Tomko is with Christian of course. They go with the basics to start with Shawn hitting a shoulder and grabbing a headlock takeover. As the hold stays on, there’s a sign in the crowd saying Christian is a Major Punk with C M PUNK in red letters. Subtle but I’ve seen worse. Shawn doesn’t take kindly to being slapped in the face and Thesz presses Christian down for some right hands. Christian sends him into the corner to take over as the announcers talk about the intelligence of the fans.

A missed charge crotches Christian though and Shawn knocks Tomko down for good measure. Sweet Chin Music takes forever to set up as usual so Tomko pulls Christian to the floor. That just earns him Sweet Chin Music of his own and we take a break. Back with Shawn not being able to fight out of a chinlock as Tomko has already been helped out. The reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two, followed by the reverse DDT backbreaker for the same.

Christian hits the chinlock again but this time Shawn is up in a hurry and it’s a double knockdown for a pair of nine counts. Shawn is back with the forearm into the nipup to start the comeback but a quick Unprettier plants him. Christian’s very delayed cover gets two and the fans are very pleased. As they should be since this has been good so far. Christian heads up top but gets backdropped down, setting up the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music hits for the clean finish.

Rating: B. Rather strong match here with Shawn winning clean as he gets some more momentum on the way to Taboo Tuesday. Christian losing might not be the best idea long term but at least he got to hang with one of the best around. That’s going to help him going forward as he’s already an established midcarder/upper midcarder. Just get up the ladder a little higher and stay there longer and he’ll be set.

Earlier today, Lita said that she was in a predicament but is now sad that she lost the baby. You know, the one that was basically the spawn of the devil. Now though, she hates Snitsky and doesn’t buy the idea that it wasn’t his fault. Come on after all those times he’s said it, how can it not be true? She starts shouting and recaps the whole story, which lowers her acting skills by at least 38%.

Eric Bischoff asks an unseen woman if they have a deal and they shake hands. He’ll see her in the ring later tonight. Coach comes in and asks why she is here, because proper nouns are only used when it’s appropriate. Coach is also worried about interviewing Snitsky so Bischoff says JR can do it instead.

JR brings Snitsky out…and he’s got a baby carriage. Snitsky brings it into the ring but we have to pause for a BABY KILLER chant. All that matters is that IT WASN’T HIS FAULT but here’s Kane to disagree. Snitsky throws the carriage at him but not before pulling out a pipe to beat Kane down. See not only is he not to blame, but he’s not stupid. Kane gets busted open and Snitsky chokes him out with the pipe.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Flair is out with Batista, who gets knocked to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Benoit goes after the leg with a dragon screw legwhip and Batista limps around the floor. The knee is fine enough to hit a big spinebuster back inside and it’s time to work on Benoit’s back. Benoit sends him into the corner though and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. With Flair being knocked off the apron, Batista shoves off a Crossface attempt. Flair gets in a low blow and posts Benoit but Orton runs in to break up the Batista Bomb for the DQ.

Rating: C. It was fun while it lasted due to the high levels of intensity you knew were coming from these two but the ending was what mattered. Orton fighting through Evolution to get to HHH again is fine, but there’s only so much you can do when Evolution gets the upper hand on him or Orton has to run away every week.

Post match Orton stays on Batista but Bischoff sends out security to arrest him. Flair and Batista get in a few cheap shots to take Orton down.

Post break Bischoff is in the ring to complain about Taboo Tuesday. Speaking of the show, Snitsky will face Kane in a Fans Pick The Weapon match with a lead pipe, a steel chair or a steel chain being legal. As for Chris Jericho, who laughed at the idea of HHH facing three people, he’ll have to defend the Intercontinental Title against anyone not already in a match, which means nearly twenty options. Bischoff wants to see those people in his office in about fifteen minutes.

That brings him to his match with Eugene, who he wants in the ring right now. Eugene comes out and Bischoff tells him that someone in the back has a crush on him. That would be Carmella, who Bischoff thinks should have won the Diva Search. She also has a match with Christy Hemme at Taboo Tuesday, but for now Bischoff explains that she was in Playboy. He whispers what that means to Eugene, who freaks out.

Carmella talks about how hot she finds Eugene, except for his hair. See, if Eugene loses the hair vs. hair match on purpose, she would find him perfect. Eugene agrees, but he wants a kiss now. That’s not happening so Eugene will settle with Carmella taking her top off. That’s not happening either because Carmella is too good for Eugene or these people. Bischoff likes her style so the match with Christy is still on. Cue Christy to shove Carmella and kiss Eugene.

So now we’re getting more Christy vs. Carmella? Was that really such an awesome feud that it needs a sequel? I know WWE has put a lot into this whole thing but for some reason now we’re stuck with seeing them on pay per view. At least it’s going to be short, but Taboo Tuesday was already looking bad enough as it was.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Rhyno/Tajiri

La Resistance is defending and Grenier actually gets to finish O Canada. After some confusion over whether or not this is for the titles, Conway headlocks Hurricane to start. Rosey comes in for a save and a double legdrop (one between the legs and one on the neck) has Conway in trouble. Hurricane gets knocked off the top though and we hit a front facelock. Conway pulls Rosey off the apron, leaving Hurricane to take Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Post match Rosey keeps going after the champs, who turn his mask around. The blind Rosey lays out Hurricane in what seems to be setting up a rematch. It would help a bit if they hadn’t just lost in two minutes.

WWE received an award from Make-A-Wish.

Simon System ad. Simon: “My name is Simon Dean and odds are, I don’t like you.”

Edge says you should vote for him because he’s never faced HHH, unlike Michaels and Benoit, who have faced HHH over and over in a million title shots. Edge lists off all the titles he’s won and injuries he’s suffered and now he deserves a chance. Fair enough, though his face/heel shifting is getting annoying.

The people who could face Jericho at Taboo Tuesday are in Bischoff’s office. Bischoff has a job for them tonight: they’re going to be lumberjacks when Jericho faces HHH.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly

Trish Stratus is on commentary and isn’t too kind to Christy based on what happened last week. Stacy bites Molly’s finger to start (Trish: “Whatever works.”) and there’s the boot choke in the corner. Molly gets in a suplex as Lawler is very pleased by the visuals of Stacy’s skirt. The slapping doesn’t get Stacy very far so we look at Trish on commentary instead. A missed knee in the corner lets Stacy kick Molly down but Trish heads to the ring for a distraction. For once it actually doesn’t work as Stacy blocks the rollup and pins Molly for the upset. They wouldn’t be stupid enough to have Stacy vs. Trish for the title would they?

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title lumberjack match. Jericho jumps him after the posing and hits a backdrop before HHH can even get his belt off. The title falls off when HHH is sent outside and the lumberjacks start hammering away. Back in and HHH throws him outside for the same treatment. Jericho is fine enough to slingshot over HHH into a failed Walls attempt so it’s a catapult into the corner instead.

HHH sends him outside for more stompings, followed by blocking the Walls again so Jericho can get sent outside for the third time in about two minutes. This time Christian jumps him but Jericho thinks it was Rhyno and beats him up instead. Back in (again) and Jericho misses the Lionsault, knocks Batista off the apron, and finally gets the Walls. That’s broken up as Flair has to be dispatched, followed by a big dive onto a bunch of lumberjacks. With the referee distracted, Rhyno comes in for the Gore to give HHH the pin.

Rating: D-. What a waste of time, especially with the lumberjacks. If they don’t want to have either of these two do a job (as they shouldn’t), don’t set the match up in the first place. This was a bunch of throwing each other to the floor and failed finisher attempts until Rhyno came in to finish things off. Another bad main event to cap off a series of terrible matches tonight.

Post match the fight is on with Orton coming in to hit some RKO’s on random people. A big one to Coach (more like a jumping Stunner) finishes the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was bad. The usual suspects had their good matches as always but at the same time, we had a bunch of terrible matches and promos that consisted of “Taboo Tuesday is stupid” and heels saying “we hate this” over and over. The problem is we’re coming up on what feels like any given pay per view but we have a bunch of completely acceptable stipulations to pick from. That doesn’t make for an interesting show, which is something this place could really use right now. Hopefully it picks up, but I’m not exactly thrilled with the prospects right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 2004
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Taboo Tuesday and that means the voting is going to become a factor. In other words, expect a lot of people asking for votes from fans on various topics, many of which are likely to be established in the coming weeks. Either way HHH will wind up looking awesome because that’s just what he does. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Big Boss Man. That’s a sad one.

Opening sequence.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring to talk about Taboo Tuesday. He REALLY doesn’t like the idea of fans making these matches because fans don’t know how to pick what they want on pay per view. He’ll do it anyway though because here are the four choices for whom HHH can face for the World Heavyweight Title: Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, Edge and Randy Orton. Actually hang on though, as Orton isn’t getting in there that easily. He can only be on the ballot if he defeats Batista in a No DQ match.

This brings out a ticked off HHH to say this isn’t happening. He doesn’t come to this guy’s job and tell him when the fries are done and he doesn’t tell this girl which street corner to work. The truth of the matter is it doesn’t matter who he faces at Taboo Tuesday because he’s leaving as champion. As for tonight, the fans can have some choices: go screw yourselves, rot in h***, try to get life, or roll yourself up into a tight little ball….and here’s democracy hater Shelton Benjamin to interrupt. Shelton has some choices for HHH: quit whining, quit complaining, cut out the crying or get it on right now.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Non-title. This was at least scheduled for later so they did have something planned for the show. Shelton goes right after him to start and hammers away both on the mat and in the corner. The Stinger Splash misses though and Shelton goes shoulder first into the post. Back from a break with Shelton getting taken down by the bad arm as HHH goes into full Arn Anderson mode. A nip up gets Shelton out of an armbar so HHH goes up top to separate the shoulder like he did to Eugene.

You don’t go up top on Shelton though as he runs the ropes and armdrags HHH down for a breather. The Dragon Whip connects and a hard Russian legsweep keeps the champ in trouble. There’s the top rope clothesline (called a modified bulldog by JR) for two more and now the Stinger Splash sends HHH outside. Shelton follows and it’s a belt shot to the head for the DQ, meaning HHH has still never beaten Benjamin.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill match between these two as HHH still can’t figure Benjamin out but Shelton is never winning the title because he’s not HHH. Much like the post-Unforgiven Raw, this was HHH selling a lot but getting to leave with the title, which has been the problem for a very long time now.

Post match HHH Pedigrees him on the floor and gets to pose with the title.

We recap Christy Hemme winning the Diva Search last week.

The Simon System will work for you!

Hurricane/Rosey vs. Rhyno/Tajiri

Rosey and Hurricane have been “frustrated” lately, probably because they’re barely ever on the show. Tajiri slugs away at Rosey to start, which goes about as well as you would expect. Rhyno likes the challenge of a big Samoan so he shouts a lot and throws hard shoulders, which finally take Rosey down. Notice that the fans pop big for the knockdown, because Rhyno built up the idea and the fans are behind him so they want to see him get it done.

Hurricane comes in for a high crossbody as Tajiri makes a save. The Tarantula has Hurricane in even more trouble so Rosey makes his own save with a kick to the head. Hurricane ducks a Gore to send Rhyno into the corner, followed by a blind tag to Rosey. A big spinning Rock Bottom finishes Tajiri.

Rating: D+. I like most of the people in this match so it’s hard to get annoyed at them having a quick one. It’s nice to have people fighting to become #1 contenders instead of having them face the champions over and over again. That’s what happens when you have more than two teams in the division and it can work just fine.

Mick Foley and JBL are going to have a debate. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Long recap of Gene Snitsky causing Lita to miscarry.

We get a sitdown interview with Kane, though Lita is still in a state of shock. She won’t eat and isn’t moving because they found out it was going to be a baby boy. Now their son is dead and it’s all because of Gene Snitsky.

Smackdown Rebound.

Benoit talks to William Regal about Taboo Tuesday when Eugene comes in with a pair of scissors. He wants to be like Brutus Beefcake but Regal has an idea.

Gene Snitsky vs. Val Venis

On his way to the ring, Snitsky insists that it WAS NOT his fault, but he’ll meet Kane next week in Madison Square Garden. Snitsky goes with the standard book of heel offense grade one beatdown to start as the fans call him a baby killer. A kick to the face sets up the chinlock but Venis gets in some low dropkicks. The Money Shot misses though and Snitsky kicks him in the face, setting up a pumphandle powerslam for the fast pin.

Wrestlemania sold out in less than one minute.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. He doesn’t like the idea of Orton calling himself a legend or talking about greatness, because that only applies to a select group. Orton was great because he was World Champion, but Flair hears Orton calling himself the Legend Killer. Who did Flair kill? Was it Shawn Michaels? He’s a great performer but no legend. Harley Race is a legend but Flair wore him out every time he was in this building.

Bret Hart (never been in a ring with Orton) is sitting at home looking in the mirror and Flair doesn’t think he’s a legend. Hulk Hogan (same as Hart) is an aspiring Hollywood star and no legend. Or is it a human stunt man like Mick Foley? The only legend who can walk that aisle and look as only he can look. Flair yells about being a sixteen time sixteen time sixteen time (he channeled Diamond Dallas Page there) World Champion and until Orton beats him, he’s no legend killer.

This brings out Orton to say that Flair is a legend that Orton idolized as he was growing up. He would even put on his dad’s bathrobe and practice the strut. Orton couldn’t have beaten Benoit without him, which is what makes it so tragic to see what Flair has become. Flair tells him to not go there because Flair and HHH have something special.

That’s too far for Orton, who can’t imagine the Flair he grew up watching would ever say that (absolutely true). Flair is just a glorified cheerleader these days but Orton knows he wants to stand up to him like only Flair can do. Only Flair can stand up to something like this because a true legend can stand up for himself. Great promo from Orton, but I don’t buy a Flair face turn whatsoever.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho vs. Christian/Tyson Tomko

Rematch from a few weeks ago. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Shawn getting caught in the corner. That’s broken up with a knee lift of freedom, allowing the tag to Jericho to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and Christian is thrown over the top onto Tomko as we take an early break. Back with Jericho in trouble, though actually not in a chinlock for a change. That really is a modern thing and something that needs to go away.

A sunset flip isn’t enough for the tag off to Shawn as Christian cuts things off. Well he is the tag team expert. A neckbreaker sets up a neck crank until Jericho pops up and enziguris Tomko. Shawn comes back in to take over with the usual with Tomko being sent over the top. Jericho breaks up an Unprettier attempt and hits the Lionsault on Christian but gets sent outside by Tomko. Sweet Chin Music drops Tomko but Christian rolls Shawn up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the match just came and went without much time due to the commercial. Building to Shawn vs. Christian is fine, but Shawn is going to be a heavy favorite on the Taboo Tuesday ballot so it’s going to have to be on a big TV show or wait a long time. They’re doing a nice enough job of building Christian up though and that’s a good idea.

HHH fires up Batista, who is ready to destroy Orton once and for all tonight. HHH tells him not to worry about Flair.

William Regal and Eugene are in the ring with three unknown guys. Tonight, Regal is going to let Eugene practice the three stipulations for his match with Bischoff. First up we have a guy dressed as a butler, who thinks he would be a better servant than Bischoff. Regal disagrees, because he’s seen the messes that Eugene makes. The second guy is in a dress, who thinks he would look better than Bischoff. Regal says he reminds him of an old girlfriend with ugly feet.

Finally we have a guy in a chair (who says his name is Scott Colton but isn’t Colt Cabana) who has agreed to have his head shaved. This brings out Bischoff to say Eugene isn’t shaving his head at Taboo Tuesday. Instead Bischoff kicks the guy getting his hair cut and runs. This must be something that sounded a lot better on paper because it really didn’t work in execution.

There was a Taboo Tuesday press conference.

Next week: Shawn vs. Christian. That makes some more sense.

Here are Trish Stratus, Gail Kim and Molly Holly to welcome Christy Hemme to the roster. After making fun of the Diva Search (fair enough), they bring Christy out and the one fan sign they show for her spells her name wrong. Trish won’t let her talk so Christy takes the mic away to thank the fans. It’s an honor to be here and she’ll make us all proud. That’s all good with Trish, who accuses Christy of sleeping her way into the finals.

Carmella pops up on screen to show off those Playboy level acting abilities as she talks about how no one would really pick Christy over her. It was Christy who robbed her of a quarter million dollars. Back in the ring, Trish is ready to give Christy her first match: a three on one handicap bra and panties match.

Christy Hemme vs. Victoria/Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

Christy loses in about ten seconds, as this stupid thing is still not over because WWE doesn’t know when to just let things go.

Post match Christy doesn’t seem to mind being in her underwear and says she’s perfectly comfortable like this. Given that they had her out there in swimsuits for two months, this really shouldn’t be shocking.

Batista asks a stoic Flair if he’s ready to go but Flair says he’ll be out there when he wants to be.

Randy Orton vs. Batista

No DQ and if Orton loses, he’s off the Taboo Tuesday ballot. Orton starts fast with a Thesz press but walks into a spinebuster for his efforts. A trip to the floor means a whip into the steps and some choking on the apron. Back in and a side slam gets two despite Orton’s shoulder being so far off the mat that it annoys JR. The slow beating continues as Orton’s hero status continues to dwindle. Orton avoids a charge to send Batista into the corner but here’s HHH because it’s No DQ.

The power of European uppercuts get Orton out of trouble and a DDT plants Batista. HHH takes Orton down though and grabs a chair….and here’s Ric. The fans are very into this as Flair takes the chair, which of course he uses on Orton because they set this up and did the swerve in about an hour. The Batista Bomb ends Orton as he loses again.

Rating: D+. You know, if they want Orton to be the big star and the guy HHH is running from, it might help if he was booked strong for a change. This was another instance of HHH getting the upper hand and posing with the title, as the Flair thing lasted all of forty five minutes. I know HHH got sent into a cake, but I’m thinking the fans might need something more than that.

Overall Rating: D. There were some entertaining parts to the show but for the most part, the Taboo Tuesday build isn’t working. The problem continues to be that you can’t really build towards a match when you don’t know who is involved, which is the case with the biggest match on the show. The big angle here would suggest Orton vs. Flair, but my goodness they couldn’t draw things out for another week or two before having Flair turn on Orton? I’m worried about how bad this is going to get before the show, because they’re off to a really bad start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 2004
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Unforgiven and things are back to the normal levels of bleak. In this case, that’s due to HHH winning the World Title again, because Randy Orton had his four week reign and needed to be eradicated once and for all. I’m sure he’ll get some title shots going forward, but it’s pretty clear that his time has already come and gone. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair, Batista and a bunch of women are in the ring for HHH’s title celebration. Flair introduces the new champ as the confetti falls. Great now it’s going to be all over ringside all night. There’s also a huge cake, which is clearly the kind with a person inside to jump out. HHH says you can feel the excitement in the air because the king is back on his throne. This is the happiest he’s sounded in months, which certainly does make sense for him.

All of the girls kneel in front of him, so HHH says there will be plenty of time for getting on their knees. Normally I’d make a PG joke but the Diva Search girls have made that one sound tame. HHH talks about Orton spitting on him a few weeks back, but now he’s laughing again. Then he spit in the fans’ faces and they can’t even wipe it off because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

The girls rip his shirt off but HHH looks at the cake, which he knows has someone inside. Flair and Batista didn’t send it, so it must have been Bischoff. An explosion goes off and of course it’s Orton to take out Evolution. So…..was there a girl in there in the first place and Orton kidnapped her? Or did he just pay off the production people? HHH gets thrown into the hole in the cake, leaving his feet kicking in the air for a funny bit. Not funny enough to validate HHH getting another long promo or another title reign or how obvious the whole thing was, but funny.

It’s so funny that we look at it again after a break. During said break, HHH got out of the cake and kept falling over from the icing.

HHH yells at Bischoff and gets Orton in a handicap match tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Robert Conway

William Regal comes out to cancel out Sylvan Grenier. Conway jumps him to start so Benoit slides between the legs and goes with the chops. It’s way too early for the Sharpshooter as Conway bails outside for a breather. Back in and Conway snaps off a suplex to take over, meaning we hit the stomping and choking. A neck crank doesn’t last long as Benoit fights up, only to get thrown to the floor almost immediately.

Back in and Benoit hooks a quick small package for two but Conway chokes him right back down. Conway has him in trouble again as Benoit is giving Conway more than he’s ever gotten in his career. Benoit finally fights back with forearms and a snap suplex for two of his own. It’s time to crank things up and Benoit rolls some German suplexes, setting up the Crossface for the win.

Rating: C-. That’s a fine way to go with Benoit, as he made Conway look good for a little while and then won without much effort as soon as he started putting in some effort. Benoit isn’t about to lose to Conway but Conway can get a lot out of just beating on Benoit for a few minutes. Nothing great or even very good, but what we got was fine.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back.

Taboo Tuesday is coming.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for this week’s Diva Search segment, which is a Seattle Slugfest. Molly Holly (with her regular hair) comes out to interrupt instead though and says the girls can have their “sl**” fest later (that’s a major swear from Molly). For right now though, it’s time for the two of them to have a competition of their own, with Stacy getting the pick.

That would be a dance off, but Molly had eight years of ballet classes. She requests to dance to William Regal’s music and does just fine, as expected. Stacy does the kind of dance you would expect from her and seems to be declared the winner. Molly jumps her from behind, drawing in Nidia, Gail Kim, Victoria and Trish Stratus for the big brawl. Bischoff, six woman, bell.

Trish Stratus/Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Stacy Keibler/Nidia/Victoria

Joined in progress with the Nidia hitting Trish with a middle rope crossbody. A spinebuster cuts Nidia down for two though and some right hands keep Nidia in trouble. It’s off to Gail as the fans want Stacy, likely due to her barely existing skirt. Gail’s half crab has Nidia screaming until she makes a rope. Molly comes in as Lawler makes jokes about the Diva Search girls boxing later. A neckbreaker takes Gail down and thankfully it’s off to Victoria instead of Stacy. Victoria gets to clean house on her own until Molly ties her in the Tree of Woe. That’s enough for Stacy to tag herself in though and grab a rollup to pin Molly.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Stacy has no business being in there and Nidia isn’t exactly good either. That leaves four women to carry a six woman tag and it’s not the easiest thing in the world when one of the women worked most of the match. It wasn’t good, but at least it was short and that’s about as good as it gets.

Kane comes in to Bischoff and wants Shawn Michaels tonight. Bischoff can’t do that as Shawn is booked for the Highlight Reel, so Kane grabs him by the throat. Since Shawn isn’t happening tonight, Kane can fight him any other night. As for tonight, Bischoff will find someone and Kane can have a No DQ match with no questions asked.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about last night’s brutal match but it was all worth it (even the ladder suppository) to get the Intercontinental Title back. That’s a record breaking seven times, which brings him to his guest, who is a former Intercontinental Champion in his own right. This brings out Shawn, who talks about beating Kane even uglier than he was before. Jericho agrees that it was impressive, but not quite as impressive as winning the Intercontinental Title for the SEVENTH TIME.

Actually that’s why Shawn is out here, because they’re neck and neck over the years. They’ve met in Seattle before so let’s do it one more time for the title. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko with Christian talking about how awesome his career has been. He’s so awesome that he should get the Intercontinental Title shot right now. Shawn says deal, as soon as Christian beat shim. Jericho says not so fast, because he knows what is going to happen.

Everyone knows what’s going to happen and is willing to read the front row’s minds. A lot of fans are really excited to see it but section 53 knows that Tyson Tomko is going to interfere. There’s a kid that knows the solution though: let’s have a tag match! So the kid is the reason we’re not seeing Shawn vs. Christian or Jericho? Someone throw that kid in a closet, cover him in peanut butter and let a trio of rabid squirrels loose.

Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho

Joined in progress with Shawn chopping away at Christian (with bad ribs) before handing it off to Jericho for a suplex. It’s already back to Shawn to slug away at Tomko in the corner before tripping him down for a basement dropkick. One heck of a clothesline takes Shawn’s head off (Lawler: “PROBLEM SOLVED!”) and the villains take over. JR uses a neck crank to recap the evening (not the worst idea in the world), followed by Christian coming in to stomp away.

A flying forearm gets Shawn out of trouble though and it’s back to Jericho so the pace can pick up. The springboard dropkick puts Tomko on the floor with Christian following him, setting up the big stereo dives. We take a break (allowing me to drool over the idea Shawn and Jericho as a full time team) and come back with Jericho in trouble as Christian slaps on a chinlock with a knee in the back.

Christian’s backbreaker gets two and Tomko pulls on the ribs again. Jericho finally avoids a charge from Christian and the hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house. The top rope elbow hits Tomko but Christian crotches Shawn against the post for a save. Jericho cuts Christian off and it’s Sweet Chin Music to finish Tomko.

Rating: D+. That’s a “well that happened” if I’ve ever seen one. The more talented team won and it’s not like there was anything important happening here. You can’t tease a Shawn vs. Jericho or Shawn vs. Christian match and then go with this lame tag match, but for some reason that’s as good as we can get. Not a terrible match, but quite the downgrade.

Post match Christian gives Shawn the Unprettier on the floor.

Simon Dean, a fitness guru with his own Simon System of weight loss products, is looking forward to helping us lose weight. This is set up like an old commercial for a product, complete with a phone number and payment plan, which gives me some nice flashbacks to the old WCW days.

It’s Diva Search time with Coach hosting. The three come out with JR having to handle the mini bios, making him sound like a very sad man indeed. Joy is eliminated so Christy and Carmella put on the huge boxing gloves. Thankfully Vince McMahon comes out to interrupt and talk about next week being the season premiere of Raw.

Therefore, next week will see a groundbreaking announcement that affects Bischoff, everyone in the locker room and every fan around here. As for tonight though, Vince has an announcement…for Coach. Instead of the women fighting each other, they’re going to beat up Coach, who has to stand in one place or be fired. The referee even gives them some suggested targets and each of them gets thirty seconds.

Christy hits him low and chokes him down before biting him on the back of the pants. Carmella goes more traditional with rights to the face, one of which knocks Coach down. That means Christy wins, because duh. The winner of the whole thing is announced next week, thank goodness.

Eugene has a very separated shoulder after last week’s attack from HHH.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No DQ. Kane clotheslines him down to start and hits a big boot to the side of the head as Lawler makes fun of JR for not knowing Snitsky. A raised boot in the corner slows Kane down and Snitsky hits those big right hands of his, which start with a big pull back and finish with a bigger follow through. It looks like he’s aiming for Kane’s stomach.

Snitsky hits him low to cut off a chokeslam attempt but Kane kicks him down again. Kane wraps the chair around Snitsky’s throat but Lita gets in and takes it off. That means an argument, allowing Snitsky to chair Kane in the back, sending him right onto Lita. That means a no contest, and likely a miscarriage.

We get the big stretcher job as Lita holds her stomach and Kane tells her that the baby is going to be ok. After a break, we get a BABY KILLER chant, which you don’t get to hear very often.

Smackdown Rebound.

Post break, Kane helps Lita into an ambulance as Stacy and Victoria look on.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton

Flair jumps Orton before the bell so Orton backdrops him down to check off the Bingo square. It’s off to HHH (Not Batista first?) to get punched in the face but Orton slides outside and pulls Batista down onto the apron. Batista comes in legally so Orton slugs away again until a spinebuster takes him down. Now HHH is willing to come in for some shots to the face but the Pedigree is countered with a slingshot, sending HHH crotch first into the buckle. The RKO is loaded up but Batista comes in with the clothesline and that’s a lame DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on until Shelton Benjamin makes his return for the save….and gets beaten down. Benoit makes the real save and Batista takes the beatdown to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been more productive to have those run-ins in reverse? Eh at least the six man should be good.

Overall Rating: D. That ending segment is a perfect compliment to the opener: Orton gets the better of HHH at the beginning and the end, but none of that really matters as HHH is still the champion. That’s not exactly something that makes me want to see where things are going, because things are going in the direction of more HHH on top with HAHA I’M STILL CHAMPION being the big closing line every week. It’s been that way for far too long now and that’s not the right way to make me want to keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Unforgiven 2004
Date: September 12, 2004
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another case of a one match show, which tends to be the case in the HHH era. In this case it’s HHH getting (another) title shot against Randy Orton, who was thrown out of Evolution last month. It’s not exactly a thrilling concept but there’s no escaping HHH’s title hunts of destiny. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Orton being thrown out of Evolution and trying to become the top face in the company by running away over and over. It’s set to Saliva’s Survival of the Sickest, which was the song that kind of finished me with the band. I’m going to be extra sick of it by the end of the show, but that might just be due to hearing about this match all night long.

Batista/Ric Flair vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Batista start things off as Lawler hopes Eugene is home watching the radio. An early Crossface attempt sends Batista bailing to the ropes, followed by a quick takedown for the tag off to Regal. A t-bone suplex drops Batista and it’s back to Benoit, who gets chopped by Flair. The backdrop has Flair in more trouble (as always) and it’s Regal coming in, only to have the knee taken out.

Flair goes…after the arm for some reason, allowing Benoit to come back in for some chops. An enziguri nails Flair and the Flair Flop takes him down right in front of Batista. He’s done that forever and it still makes me chuckle. Batista comes in a few seconds later and blocks a Sharpshooter attempt so it’s back to Regal. This time Evolution actually takes over, after what felt like a long time. Flair gets in more chops and Batista gets two off a neckbreaker. It’s finally time to go after the knee with Flair slapping on the Figure Four.

Benoit makes a quick save so Batista takes Flair’s place with a chinlock. Regal gets up and sends him into the corner for the break though and it’s a hot (ish) tag to Benoit for the real house cleaning. Everything breaks down with Benoit snapping off German suplexes all around. The Swan Dive connects and the Crossface goes on Flair, drawing in Batista to pick Benoit up for the break. Regal sends Batista over the barricade, leaving Benoit to get the Crossface again to make Flair tap.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the slightest spark to it and felt like they were all just missing. It’s more an issue that I’ve seen them do a variety of combinations with these same people over and over to much better results. Regal getting involved is long overdue and I’m glad to see him getting a chance on the bigger stages like this. Everyone was missing here though, which is going to happen every now and then.

Christian doesn’t want Tyson Tomko to go to ringside with Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title match. It doesn’t matter as Christian has to go to the ring alone so what difference does it make? Tomko gets to decide, so Trish invites him to her dressing room after the match. Tomko to Christian: “Good luck.”

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and has Tomko with him. Victoria takes her down to start and the champ bails to the floor in a hurry. As Lawler makes it clear that Trish is NOT a s***, she sends Victoria into the corner for some choking on the rope. That’s broken up and it’s a gorilla press gutbuster to send Trish outside. Tomko takes her away before Victoria can dive and it’s a posting to keep Victoria down again.

We hit the armbar for a bit, followed by a hair pull as the offense devolves a few levels. The chinlock is broken up so Trish grabs a spinebuster for two, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. The comeback doesn’t take long with Victoria fighting up and hitting the spinning side slam. Victoria gets two off the dancing moonsault but goes with a slingshot dive onto Tomko instead of following up. Stratusfaction retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t good and it came after an ice cold build that was more about Christian vs. Trish than anything else, even though Christian only came back less than a week ago. This division is still dying for some fresh talent, but that’s been the case for so long now that it’s a feature instead of a condition. They’re trying, but they have no help in terms of build or interest from anyone.

Post match Tomko goes after Victoria, drawing in Stevie in drag for the save. Stevie leaves and Tomko wants him back out here for a match RIGHT NOW.

Stevie Richards vs. Tyson Tomko

Stevie comes back out as JR says this is the worst kept secret in wrestling. Tomko punches him in the face and we start the removal of clothing, because that’s what this match is really about due to whatever bad ideas Vince was having at the time. The wig goes off as well and Tomko shoves Richards’ implants into his mouth. Some right hands have Richards in more trouble as his bra comes off.

Tomko…rubs Stevie’s face as JR sounds ready to walk off the show. The fans on the other hand don’t seem to be there as it’s a mixture of light booing and silence. A slam has Richards in more trouble as the underwear discussion continues. Tomko cranks on the neck and then calls Richards a sissy, which seems to fire him up. Richards throws his wig at Tomko to distract the referee, setting up a testicular claw. Some dropkicks in the corner have Tomko in trouble until he hits the rack neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: WIDANF. For Wrestlers in drag are not funny. I don’t get what WWE sees in this idea and I really, really don’t want to. I would love to have someone explain the point of this whole thing to me or why this needed pay per view time. It really does feel like they threw this out there because Vince would find it funny and nothing more. Lucky us.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Christian for the Intercontinental Title. Edge was champion but got injured and had to forfeit the title, setting up this match with Christian replacing Edge in a ladder match for the vacant Intercontinental Title. Christian had been put on the shelf after a match with Jericho so this was a perfectly logical move and about as good as they had given the circumstances.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Ladder match with the title vacant coming in and no one at ringside. They talk some trash to start until Jericho hits a few suplexes. A trip to the floor lets Jericho throw a ladder at him to no avail so Christian scores with some right hands. Back in and Christian chokes on the ropes so Jericho enziguris him right back down. When all else fails, kick the guy in the head. Another ladder is grabbed and slammed into Christian’s ribs but another big show misses.

They fight into the crowd as JR wants to know the difference between a Peep and a Jericholic. Jericho chokes with a cord but gets pulled into an Unprettier on the floor, which should be enough to win just about any match. Here it’s only enough to get a single hand on the title (those ladders are timely) so Christian ladders him down and puts said ladder onto the top turnbuckle. As expected it’s Christian going face first into the steel instead, with JR saying even barbecue sauce couldn’t make that taste good.

Jericho sets the ladder up but goes into it instead, giving us another double knockdown. A catapult sends Jericho face first into a ladder bridged across the middle rope, followed by Jericho shoving one into Christian’s face for another hard shot. Jericho channels his inner Shawn by riding the ladder down onto Christian’s back and the fans are rather pleased. They’re both hurt so Christian ties him in the Tree of Woe in the ladder and hits a running knee instead of, you know, going for the title.

Christian does climb, so Jericho gets out of the corner and flips him off, which is enough to get Christian down. That earns him a dropkick into the ladder into Christian and Christian sandwiches him in between a ladder. The Lionsault only hits ladder though and Jericho’s knee is banged up pretty badly. Christian takes FOREVER to climb though, allowing Jericho to shake the ladder away, leaving Christian hanging from the belt. The ensuing ladder spot to the ribs and crash are rather snazzy and they’re both down again.

Jericho puts the ladder over Christian and goes up but gets shoved down, just barely saving himself from a crash out to the floor. That’s not enough for Christian to grab the title, but it is enough for him to turn around on the ladder so Jericho can get the Walls on top. That’s STILL not enough for the win as Christian pops up and shoves the ladder over, with Jericho landing tailbone first on the side in a nasty crash. It’s time for the jumbo ladder so they head up at the same time, only to have Jericho pull him down for another double crash landing. Jericho finally (and I do mean finally) gets the title for the win.

Rating: C+. WAY too long here with far too many false finishes hurting things. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s the same feeling every time: get on with it already. Jericho winning wasn’t exactly a shock and it took too long to get there. I can understand why they were given this much time if Tomko vs. Richards needed that long in the previous match, but that doesn’t make it much better. The match certainly isn’t bad, but a trimmed down version would have been a lot better.

Lita answers Kane’s door and says she hopes Shawn Michaels crushes Kane’s throat tonight. Kane comes out and laughs at her ranting, saying this is now a No DQ match. He’s going to destroy Shawn and Lita has to watch from ringside. We even get a rather forced kiss for luck.

Jericho says he feels like a king. Edge comes up to say he’s coming for the title, because Jericho knows he can’t beat him.

We recap Kane vs. Shawn Michaels. Kane put Shawn on the shelf a few months ago and has since managed to win Lita in marriage. Lita then used an open contract to set up this match with the hopes of Kane getting hurt just as badly. The injury is only brought up at the end, almost as an afterthought.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and Lita has been dragged out with Kane, which I’m sure won’t go badly at all. Shawn wastes no time in going after him and Kane is knocked out to the floor with some right hands. Kane misses a charge into the post to make it even worse but manages to uppercut him out of the air back inside. Shawn knocks him outside and even skins the cat back inside because he still has it.

That’s enough for a dive and Lita talks some trash, allowing Kane to hide behind her like a true heel should. A shot to the face puts Shawn down and Kane slams him onto (not through) the announcers’ table. The second slam puts him through instead as the slow pace begins. Shawn gets a boot up in the corner but walks right into a side slam to take him down again. We hit the neck crank with Lita playing cheerleader, much to Lawler’s continued confusion.

Another slam sets up another neck crank, followed by a clothesline to stay on the neck. Shawn fights up and grabs a DDT for the required breather, setting up the more required forearm into the nipup. Since it’s just a forearm, Kane sends him over the corner and out to the floor for a ram into the steps. That means some blood but Shawn kicks a chair away. Kane kicks Shawn away as well though and it’s right back to the floor.

Shawn posts him this time around and knocks Kane down with a single right hand. The top rope elbow gets two but a big boot cuts off Sweet Chin Music. Kane nails the top rope clothesline but Shawn low blows his way out of a chokeslam attempt. One heck of a chair shot knocks Kane silly, though he still gets up first. Lita pulls the chair out though and that’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to knock Kane out for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here and while a rather lengthy eighteen minutes, it didn’t feel long like the previous match. Shawn got his revenge in a violent enough match though it was nothing that we haven’t seen them both do better before. That’s likely it for this mini feud, though you can imagine Kane and Lita continuing for a good while.

Post match Kane yells at Lita, as expected.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back. I didn’t know he left but apparently his last televised match was three months ago. Who knew?

HHH reminds us of how great he is and promises to take Orton out. All of Orton’s success is because of him and tonight, HHH is taking it all away. Somehow this takes the better part of four minutes.

Tag Team Titles: Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and hopefully Tajiri is healthy tonight. The challengers charge into the ring with Tajiri not being able to keep up with Rhyno for an unintentionally funny moment. Grenier shoulders Tajiri down for an early two as the announcers argue about being prejudiced. Tajiri is right back up with some armdrags into an armbar. Conway comes in and gets the same treatment so it’s off to Rhyno to miss a charge in the corner. You can see the empty seats now and that’s rather telling about the importance of this match.

Rhyno knocks Conway down and brings Tajiri back in for more kicks. Something like a DDT drops Tajiri and the champs start their cheating ways. A backbreaker keeps Tajiri down as this is as thrilling as you would have expected. The announcers give up trying to make the match sound important and talk about Orton vs. HHH instead.

Tajiri gets up a kick in the corner so Rhyno can clean house again. A belly to belly and spinebuster get two each on Grenier with Conway making the save. The hard kicks from Tajiri have the champs in trouble and the Gore gets two with Conway putting the foot on the rope. The referee isn’t happy, allowing a flag shot to Rhyno to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. Again, the match goes longer than it needs to and loses a lot of the crowd (what little they had of it) in the process. This could have been on any given Raw, though it would have been bad on there too. The build was fine enough, but it’s not like this was ever going to be anything more than a match filling time on a card. It’s a thing that happens on every show, but when it feels like most of the matches on the show are just filling time, it become a major problem.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton, which is all about Orton winning the title that was supposed to belong to HHH. In other words, it’s been a month of “THIS IS MY COMPANY BECAUSE I’M HHH” and a failed attempt to turn Orton into the top face by just having him go against HHH. The problem is that Orton has spent most of his time running from Evolution in a smart but not inspiring move. There isn’t much of a reason to cheer Orton, which is a different situation than booing HHH. The second part is easily accomplished, but it turns into more of no one getting cheered, which isn’t a good place to be.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Orton calmly taking him into the corner and slapping him in the face. Lawler says HHH isn’t happy because he made Orton. JR: “Easy there Dr. Evil. I think Mr. and Mrs. Orton had something to do with it.” Point to JR on that one. Orton shakes HHH off and slaps him in the face again, followed by the spitting sequel. There’s a backdrop to make it even worse for HHH and we’re already in the chinlock.

Back up and HHH gets sent outside with Orton following, though JR isn’t sure about the plan. They head back inside in a hurry with HHH nailing a chop block. So much for JR’s analytical skills. An attempt at a crotching around the post sees HHH get pulled face first into the post but it doesn’t stop him from going after the leg. Another chop block keeps Orton down and a knee to the knee in the corner makes it even worse. A leglock goes on for a bit, followed by a facebuster to slow things down a bit more.

Some elbows to the leg set up the Figure Four, which makes a lot of sense in this case. HHH grabs a rope because he knows how to be a villain, though the crowd doesn’t seem to agree with the style here. The referee catches him grabbing the rope though and that means a break, followed by a thorough verbal castration. Orton shoves him into the corner with HHH’s head hitting the post to bust him open. Right hands in the corner stay on the head and Orton’s always good dropkick gets two.

A DDT drops HHH for two more but the sleeper is countered with a belly to back. HHH goes up for the most obvious dive into a raised boot I can remember in a long time to give Orton a breather. The high crossbody gets two and Orton throws him outside. Back in and the RKO is countered into a ref bump as I begin to sigh. Now the RKO connects for no cover as Flair runs in to get punched down. Batista gets in a few shots but misses a charge into the post.

HHH cuts Orton down with a low blow and here’s Coach in a referee shirt for the near fall. The lack of a pop on the kickout is as telling of a sign as you’re going to get. Orton punches Coach down and Batista is right back in with a spinebuster with Coach counting two (better reaction this time, but still not great). Orton backdrops out of a Pedigree and RKO’s Coach (all in one movement for a cool sequence). Flair takes one as well and it’s a low blow to break up the Batista Bomb. HHH is back up though and cracks Orton in the head with a chair. The slow motion Pedigree onto the chair makes HHH champion. Again.

Rating: C+. Well of course he did. It was clear that Orton wasn’t working as a champion (for various reasons) but the fans aren’t going to get behind him as the uncrowned champion after he loses the title to another soul crushing HHH win. It feels like another case of HHH showing everyone who runs Raw because he, yes he, is the only person who can fix all of Raw’s problems despite being a big source of their problems.

The match itself was actually pretty good, albeit slow and with a bad ending. As has been the case with almost everything on the show tonight, it felt like the match was being stretched out for the sake of filling in the show, which isn’t a great feeling about the main event. The crowd didn’t care and that was the case with so much of Orton’s time as champion. If they don’t care about him being champion, they’re not going to care about him losing the title.

JR is disgusted to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Just a completely lifeless show here which never got off the ground, despite some matches being pretty good. The problem here was how little there was to care about, which has been a problem for a long time. It’s felt like a matter of time before HHH got the title back since the second Orton won it and now that’s where we are: right back where we were, waiting on the next big name to challenge him. I’m sure Orton will get a few more chances but it’s not like it’s going to matter for the time being. Orton didn’t work as champion, and now we’re right back where we were before Wrestlemania. Lucky us.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 6, 2004
Location: Kay Yeager Coliseum, Wichita Falls, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Somehow this is the go home show for Unforgiven, which I didn’t realize somehow. That means it’s time to get ready for Randy Orton’s first Raw World Title defense against HHH, which I’m sure will be completely encouraging. Other than that…well there isn’t much because there’s not much else to talk about other than that one match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of HHH vs. Randy Orton. Like anything else matters.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage around the ring and Eric Bischoff is inside with a table in front of him. Tonight it’s HHH vs. Eugene inside the cage and Bischoff is looking forward to his nephew being destroyed for good. The cage is raised as we move onto something else: Edge has a torn groin which is keeping him out of action for four to six weeks, meaning the Intercontinental Title is vacant.

Bischoff pulls a blanket off the table to reveal the title but here’s Christian to interrupt. He thinks he’d be a great choice for a new Intercontinental Champion but here’s Jericho to interrupt (must be a Canadian thing). Jericho is ready to fight for the title right now. Bischoff says they’ll do that at Unforgiven instead, which is fine with Jericho. He wants something added though, and the fans should be allowed to have a say.

Bischoff offers a cage match but Christian says that doesn’t work for him because Jericho already injured him in a cage match. Christian’s offer is a no countout match and the fans aren’t thrilled. Christian: “THEY’RE SAYING BOO-YAH!” Jericho gets to the obvious solution: a ladder match, with Bischoff agreeing. The fight is on with Tyson Tomko running in to save Christian from the Walls. Longer than it needed to be, but this is the best choice for a match they could have had.

Batista/Ric Flair/La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/William Regal/Tajiri/Rhyno

Benoit and Flair get things going, which is about as good of an idea as you can get. The chop off in the corner (you knew that was coming) goes to Benoit, who backdrops Flair for the Flair Flop. Tajiri comes in and kicks Conway but everything breaks down in a hurry. Back from an early break with Flair chopping at Regal in the corner (a trend for him) but Regal reverses and hits a backdrop (the exact same sequence that Benoit did). Rhyno comes in for a running shoulder to Flair in the corner before knocking La Resistance off the apron.

Batista gets in a cheap shot from behind though and Conway takes over. Conway gets two and demands that Rhyno stay down, even throwing in some swearing for an evil bonus. It’s back to Flair and a double clothesline puts both of them down. Conway gets the tag and Benoit gets one as well, even if he had one leg in the ring at the time. What a Canadian cheater. Said cheater throws German suplexes all over the place, allowing Rhyno to come back in fr the Gore to Batista. With everyone else outside, Benoit drops the Swan Dive on Conway, setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match with a nice combination of two feuds into one match. Tajiri continues to be barely functioning and I hope he gets ready on Sunday as the title match has been well built over the last few weeks. It’s always nice to see these feuds getting mixed together as you get some fresh matchups, which is a good way to keep things from getting stale.

We recap the Diva Search segment from last week. I didn’t know we could still discuss that.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton is ready for HHH and this Sunday, he knows he’s going to be coming in as the underdog after facing Kane tonight. We get a HHH caveman impression and Orton recaps their feud so far, including a clip of Orton costing HHH a win over Eugene last week. Now, the three most dominant letters on Raw are now RKO. Orton stumbled through a lot of this promo.

Trish Stratus comes up to see Lita and won’t let her go by. We get the jokes about Lita being, ahem, easy I guess you would say until Lita promises to come after Trish once she’s had the baby. More jokes ensue so Lita says keep it coming. Lita leaves and Trish doesn’t seem impressed. She turns around and runs into Nidia, who yells in Spanish. Trish: “I’m sorry I don’t speak German.” Nidia throws a drink on her instead.

Trish Stratus vs. Nidia

Non-title with Trish still covered in juice. Trish takes her down with an early pull of the hair but Nidia slugs away in the corner as Trish’s shirt is tearing more and more. A quick trip to the floor goes to Trish but Nidia is right back with an elbow to the face. Nidia hammers away in the corner….until her top breaks, allowing Trish to kick her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Nidia can’t be much longer for the company at this point but she seemed to be getting better here. She could do some stuff in the ring well enough and is already better than some of the women in the company. With more time, she could have turned into a perfectly competent wrestler. The match was short and not terrible, so that’s quite the step up.

Bischoff is happy that HHH is going to destroy Eugene tonight and has set up a party for later. HHH wants nothing to do with the party because the real celebration will come Sunday after he wins the title back.

HHH vs. Eugene

Inside a cage and HHH has banged up ribs. HHH jumps him behind to start and sends Eugene into the cage. The scared Eugene makes his comeback with the usual right hands and ax handles but HHH cuts off an escape attempt. Eugene’s head is bounced off the cage a few times and we have some blood. HHH’s sleeper is reversed with a ram into the cage and they’re both down.

Eugene goes for the door but HHH makes a save and sends him into the cage over and over as the violence is really cranking up. The Pedigree connects for no cover as HHH goes up instead and drives a knee into Eugene’s arm for what seems like a break. HHH finally walks out for the win.

Rating: D-. HHH did his job last week (all it took was the World Champion interfering) so this was his time to shine again. He got to beat up and injure what used to be a fan favorite (before HHH took away all of Eugene’s momentum) and make it look like some big deal. It was a really boring match too as Eugene’s hope spots weren’t believable and it didn’t feel big even once.

Post match HHH slams the door on Eugene’s arm. I’m not wild on how we got here, but Eugene going away for a month or two is the best thing that could happen to him right now.

Coach is rather pleased with Bischoff getting his way and talks to Edge about being stripped of the title. Edge would rather lose while fighting injured than have it taken away from him. He’s coming back and dealing with Bischoff. So are we already dropping the heel turn?

Kane makes Lita watch a clip of him injuring Shawn Michaels. At least they’re acknowledging that, as it makes the match feel a lot less random. Kane promises to do the same thing to Orton tonight. HHH won’t like that. It’s his job to conquer these young kids.

Unforgiven rundown.

Tyson Tomko vs. Chris Jericho

Christian is out with Tomko but Jericho chases him to the back early on. Tomko uses the distraction to kick Jericho down and we hit a very early chinlock (that really shouldn’t be necessary so soon). Back up and Tomko misses a charge into the post so Jericho takes him down by the knee. Christian comes back with a ladder, allowing Tomko to nail Jericho in the head for two. Another distraction lets Tomko grab a reverse F5 for the pin, which was totally necessary before Sunday’s title match.

Post match Christian hits him with the ladder a few times and poses on top, just like everyone does.

It’s Diva Search time with Stacy Keibler hosting and a covered table in the ring. Before we get to the elimination, it’s time for some arm wrestling. Christy beats Amy, Carmella beats Joy, Christy beats Carmella. As a reward, Christy gets to throw a bucket of chili on all of them. See it’s funny because they’re good looking and in evening gowns but get covered in chili. Amy is eliminated.

Eugene has a separated shoulder and his career may be over.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Non-title and Kane drags Lita to the ring with him. Orton sends him into the corner to start before heading outside for a chase. That’s enough to catch Kane with a dropkick and some forearms to the chest in the corner (like the ten right hands, but with Kane facing the buckles for a change). Kane kicks him in the face and goes to grab a chair but Lita grabs it as well. That’s enough of a distraction so Orton can get in a low blow for the DQ.

Post match HHH comes out and wants the cage lowered, so here’s Bischoff to say this is continuing as a cage match. We take a break and come back with Kane sending Kane into the cage and pounding away with right hands. A powerslam cuts off Orton’s comeback for two, followed by a hard clothesline for the same. Orton hammers away again so Kane grabs a side slam to stop him again. A top rope crotching sets up the backbreaker to put Kane in trouble for a change and Orton cracks him in the head with the chair. The RKO connects and Orton, after kicking the cage door into HHH’s face, walks out for the win.

Rating: D+. So there’s the second cage match of the night and it wasn’t exactly thrilling. At least Orton won here instead of getting beaten down so HHH could stand over him again. The fans aren’t really cheering for him though and that’s a bad sign as his title reign is just getting started.

Post match Evolution jumps Orton, who fights them off with a chair. Kane gets back up though and Orton bails to end the show. That’s a big reason why Orton isn’t getting cheered. Since winning the title, here’s what he’s done on Raw: beaten down, spit in HHH’s face and ran, helps Eugene win, beats Kane and runs away again. He’s not getting destroyed every week, but for the most part he’s either getting beaten down or running away. The face turn was out of nowhere in the first place and having him run away (logical, but not the most inspiring) so much isn’t helping things.

Overall Rating: D+. The show went by fast and that’s rather impressive given how Unforgiven is a completely one match show. Tonight was almost all about HHH vs. Orton, which doesn’t bode well for Sunday. Adding the ladder match was fine as they had to deal with an injury and that’s all they could do given the circumstances. Other than that though, I’m really struggling to come up with something I’d want to see at Unforgiven. I’m worried about Sunday’s show, but this one wasn’t exactly much to see in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things picked up last week as Randy Orton got a little revenge on HHH but the bigger story saw Kane marrying Lita and destroying Matt Hardy in the process. There’s a good chance that we’re going to see some entertaining followup to that this week, which could go several different ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This one gets a TV-MA rating, making me wonder what’s coming from the Diva Search girls.

In Memory of Marcin Markulski, a graphics designer who passed away recently.

We open with a recap of Orton and HHH from last week. That moment is certainly better for Orton’s push than getting beaten down by Evolution.

Here’s Evolution to get things going. HHH clarifies that they are Evolution and the unit exists because he made it so. Oh yeah it’s one of these promos. He explains saving Ric Flair from mediocrity and let him be the Nature Boy again. Batista has raw power and ability but HHH gave him direction and focus. Then there’s Randy Orton, who was going to be HHH’s pet project. Orton was jerking the curtain at junior high schools but HHH saw what no one saw.

Last week Orton spat in his face, which no one has ever done before or again. Orton needs to come out here right now and face the consequences like a man. Orton’s music hits but instead of the champ, we get three guys carrying what look like pictures under covers. Orton comes out and says HHH can’t call him Randy Orton, because he should be called champ. HHH got something out of Evolution, which means the unveiling of the first picture: the four of them with HHH front and center.

Flair is ready to charge the stage but HHH cuts it off with a rant about how Evolution was always about him. That brings us to the second picture, which is Orton pinning Benoit all by himself at Summerslam. Orton talks about learning so much from HHH, who actually thought he would just hand over the title last week.

That brings us to the third picture, which is Orton spitting in his face last week. Orton wants to fight tonight and takes off his shirt, but he’s bringing a friend of his own to the ring. That would be a sledgehammer from behind one of the pictures so Evolution bails in a hurry. The big swing hits the steps instead of HHH as Evolution runs into the crowd.

This was another not bad segment, but Orton chasing the title and beating HHH would seem better (though getting there would be a bit tricky as it would involve HHH getting the title again). Also, Orton doesn’t exactly come off as a violent, aggressive guy and it feels like a hard turn for him. The idea of pushing him as the next big thing is fine, but they’re going about it in a really questionable way.

Post break, Bischoff throws Orton out of the building. Orton does so, but only after dropping a sledgehammer onto Bischoff’s foot.

We look back at Rock, Tajiri and Rhyno beating up La Resistance and Coach last week. Thankfully the Diva Search stuff was left out.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. La Resistance/Jonathan Coachman

The villains jump them in the aisle and we get things going in a hurry with Rhyno in trouble. Rhyno fight back but can’t get away from the evil French guys. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Coach adds a slap from the apron. With that out of the way, it’s right back to the chinlock as Tajiri is still down from the pre-match beatdown. Sounds like an injury. Rhyno fights back with a bunch of clotheslines and then a Gore to Coach, only to get caught with Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Rating: D-. So we have a handicap match where Tajiri wasn’t really doing anything in the match (which likely wasn’t his fault)? That’s not exactly the best choice for the opening match on a show, but at least there’s a story here and they’re advancing things as we move towards the title match at Unforgiven.

Video on last week’s wedding.

Kane tells someone (not Lita) to not come out until he tells them to because it’s a surprise.

Eugene, in San Francisco Giants gear, tells William Regal about being excited to go to a Giants game yesterday. Regal wants him to stay in the back for Regal’s match with Batista but gets various baseball terms in response.

William Regal vs. Batista

Regal tries the left hands to start but gets run over as fast as you would expect. A half nelson doesn’t get Batista very far and it’s Regal coming back with the left hands. The running knee to the head staggers Batista, who comes right back with a spinebuster. Batista loads up a chair, allowing Flair to come down and get in a brass knuckles shot. The big clothesline (he really needs a better finisher) ends Regal in a hurry. Just a step above a squash, though Regal had the fire, as always.

Shawn Michaels, Ivory and Linda McMahon are at the Republican National Convention.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to host the Diva Search segment. Do you really have to make her help pick her replacement? The girls come out in their swimsuits and Maria gets eliminated, flipping Carmella off on the way out. You know, that might mean more if we had heard anything else about these women other than “Carmella doesn’t care about wrestling”. You know, like giving them personalities.

As for tonight, everyone has thirty seconds to diss all of their fellow contestants.

Joy goes first and grabs Amy’s chest (Joy: “Not firm enough for me.”), spanks Christy and says Carmella talks a lot of s*** but has a gap in her teeth wide enough to drive a truck through.

Amy says Joy needs to “learn how to eat a pie” and Christy needs to sit down. Carmella on the other hand is a w**** who knows s*** about wrestling because having a d*** in your mouth has nothing to do with wrestling. Stacy takes the mic from her with eight seconds left.

Carmella laughs at Amy for not getting into Playboy. Joy is a bad role model with a fat a** and if Carmella doesn’t win, she hopes Christy does.

Christy says she’s hot fire and will burn you. All Joy can do is shake her chest, Amy has lips like a fish and Carmella is a “c** burping gutter s***”. The censors don’t quite cut the audio in time and you can hear Lawler cracking up. Christy does the splits to wrap it up. Stacy: “I like your flexibility.”

So that’s that, and I think there’s a reason you NEVER hear about this thing again.

Kane tells Lita that she’ll love his surprise. They walk past Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko, the former of whom says Kane is taking out the trash. Kane gets in Tomko’s face and says that was a good one.

Here are Kane and Lita, the latter of whom is being dragged to the ring. Kane says Lita is her favorite and thanks everyone for their gifts, including an open contract at Unforgiven from Eric Bischoff. Lita gave him the greatest gift of all though: a womb for his child. Since Lita is missing Matt Hardy, Kane has a surprise. Matt’s family has been flown in: four guys, mostly short (one fat) in Matt shirts as the crowd dies again. Kane introduces them as Pat, Nat, Rat and Fat. Yes they thought recreating the Royal Family was a good idea. Kane wastes little time in beating all of them up….and let’s make it a match.

Kane vs. Hardy Boyz

A chokeslam finishes Rat in about ten seconds.

Post match (erg) Kane loads up the fire but Lita stops him because she has a surprise of his own. She’s already signed the open contract for him so he’ll be facing someone she’s chosen at Summerslam: the returning Shawn Michaels. Oh yeah Kane helped injure him. Nice touch and I’m surprised they remembered it.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Flair has to undergo a weapons check. That’s really not fair….though the referee does find some knuckles in his knee pad. Benoit starts chopping away and gets in the required backdrop. It’s a little early for the Crossface so they head outside with Benoit chopping up against the barricade. Back in and we get a Flair Flop but he’s smart enough to get in a shot to the knee to take over.

Flair goes with chops and right hands instead of staying on the show, which doesn’t seem to be the smartest move for him. Maybe the lack of knuckles is messing with his head. We hit the half crab to go back to the knee but Benoit is right back up with more chops. The Swan Dive misses so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplex instead. Benoit grabs the Sharpshooter and here’s Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Flair didn’t exactly seem thrilled to be out there and the ending does set something up, even if it’s something we’ve seen in various forms over the last several months. Benoit is still a very valuable person to have in this spot because he’s going to have a good match with almost anyone. The match wasn’t much here though, as it was more of a means to get to the ending than anything else.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with Chris Jericho saying that he wants to face Edge for the Intercontinental Title at Unforgiven. This brings out Edge, on crutches. Edge is injured and can’t face Jericho at Unforgiven. It doesn’t matter though as he already beat him at Summerslam. Jericho brings up Edge getting booed out of the building, but Edge says he’ll let these puppets boo him every time because he’ll just keep winning the matches.

As for tonight, Jericho doesn’t buy that Edge is really hurt, thinking that it’s going to be a Canadian jig and then Edge swinging a crutch to the head. Edge says he has the MRI to prove that he’s really hurt and when he gets back, Jericho is up first. That’s it for Edge, but here’s the returning Christian to jump Jericho from behind. The beatdown goes on for a while and includes a chair to the face as Edge isn’t sure what to think.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Victoria/Nidia

Trish gets in a cheap shot to a not paying attention Victoria before taking over on Nidia. As Lawler makes jokes about Nidia nearly falling out of her top, Gail puts on something like a Brock Lock with a headscissors at the same time. That’s certainly different and painful looking. Nidia fights up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Victoria to take over. A headbutt knocks Trish off the apron but the Widow’s Peak is reversed into an Edgecator. Cue the mystery “woman”, who falls down the ramp. As we’re looking there, Victoria gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much time here and I had to think about who was getting the next title shot at Unforgiven because the match has been given that little focus. The division really needs a fresh name or two at this point because they can only do the same matches and feuds so many times. The problem is they passed that point a long time ago.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bischoff is getting his foot iced down and makes Orton vs. Kane for next week.

Unforgiven rundown, including Regal/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista.

HHH vs. Eugene

No DQ. HHH continues a trend tonight of jump starting the match but gets headlocked down. A backslide gives Eugene two as I try to get my head around this being a feature match at Summerslam earlier this month. HHH punches him in the face for a breather and hits a low blow to really take over. A trip to the floor sees Eugene going shoulder first into the steps and then getting punched in the head to make it even worse.

Back in and HHH calls Eugene Orton because Eugene really doesn’t mean anything. The spinebuster puts Eugene down again and the knee drop makes it worse. It’s time for Eugene to get fired up though, meaning the comeback is on. The top rope double ax handle gets two and there’s the Rock Bottom. The Stunner is broken up and HHH slaps on the sleeper. Eugene is done but there’s a Pedigree for a bonus.

There’s no cover though and I think you know where this is going. HHH grabs the sledgehammer but here’s Orton (who not only got back inside but also changed from a suit into gear) to get punched in the face. Orton wins a quick slugout and hits him with the hammer. An RKO is enough to give Eugene the nothing pin. Orton’s music playing shows you how important the win was.

Rating: D. This was another example of a match being there to fill in time until we get to the angle advancement at the end, though it also shows you how far Eugene fell. He could have been any midcarder here, mainly because Eugene just doesn’t matter anymore. His character was completely destroyed with everything that happened to him being one more step down. I know he didn’t have a long future, but that HHH story just wrecked him.

Overall Rating: D-. I didn’t realize how bad this was until I looked back at the whole thing. There were way too many bad segments and even more really bad matches to go with it. I’ve always liked this Orton face turn but watching it back, they really couldn’t do much worse. The only really entertaining part of this show is the trainwreck that the Diva Search has become but that’s not enough to carry everything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw – August 30, 2004: Total Divas Wish They Were Like This

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Chris Jericho’s Rock N Rager At Sea
Date: November 3, 2018
Location: Norwegian Jade Cruise Ship
Commentators: Colt Cabana, Jay Lethal

And now here’s a show on a boat! Late last year Chris Jericho hosted a wrestling cruise (it has to be better than WCW’s nightmare version back in the 1990s), featuring Fozzy concerts, podcasts, and of course live wrestling matches. This includes the Ring of Honor Sea of Honor Tournament plus a few more matches. While they didn’t tape everything, we’ve got most of the tournament plus a few bonus matches. Let’s get to it.

Note that Cabana and Lethal are the main two commentators with others rotating in.

Here are the original brackets for the tournament:

Dalton Castle

Matt Taven

Delirious

Christopher Daniels

Rhett Titus

Marty Scurll

Flip Gordon

Silas Young

Mark Briscoe

Will Ferrara

Adam Page

Frankie Kazarian

Cheeseburger

Beer City Bruiser

Jay Briscoe

Kenny King

We open with some highlights of the first round, which has been cut for the sake of time. Understandable, as that would be another eight matches. The set looks great with a big Ring of Honor ring and a lot of fans all around. You wouldn’t know it was on a boat otherwise, though the sun going down is always a cool touch.

Here are the quarterfinal brackets:

Dalton Castle

Christopher Daniels

Marty Scurll

Flip Gordon

Mark Briscoe

Adam Page

Cheeseburger

Jay Briscoe

Sea of Honor Tournament Quarterfinals: Christopher Daniels vs. Dalton Castle

Actually hang on as Castle has a concussion and can’t wrestle. We have a replacement on hand though.

Sea of Honor Tournament Quarterfinals: Christopher Daniels vs. Ashley Remington

For those of you not familiar with Remington, it’s certainly not Castle in his Chikara gimmick of a sailing enthusiast. After all, Dalton doesn’t wear a snappy sailor’s hat. The hat is spun around Remington’s finger and he throws in some finger guns. Lethal sees no peacock gear or Boys so this CANNOT be Dalton Castle. Daniels is very confused and the THAT’S NOT DALTON chants make it even worse. He even gets a mic and says “Wait…..so you’re NOT Dalton Castle???”

Daniels agrees to wrestle for the sake of the tournament and they take turns driving each other into the corner to start. Remington isn’t pleased with the referee taking issue with his aggression and gets in a Dalton style yell. Daniels sends him into the ropes bu Remington is right back with a finger gun, because he’s that smooth. A pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere so Daniels gets punched in the ribs a few times to slow things down again. Daniels blocks a Vader Bomb with raised knees and a running knee to the ribs makes things even worse.

It’s off to the waistlock as Lethal suggests that REMINGTON IS DALTON CASTLE!!! I mean, he has a concussion and thinks he’s a sailor named Ashley Remington, but he must be Castle. I’m still not convinced, even as Remington makes a comeback with Castle inspired offense. A running knee in the corner sets up a running bulldog for two but it’s too early for the Bang A Rang. Er I mean the Anchor. Yeah the Anchor. Daniels tries a Blue Thunder Bomb but gets cradled to send Remington to the next round at 7:14.

Rating: C. This was a lot of fun with Remington being the perfect choice for a replacement. The match wasn’t exactly the point here, but how serious can you be with a guy named Smooth Sailing wrestling in a match on a cruise? This tournament seems to get the idea of not taking itself too seriously and that’s a very good thing.

As is his custom, Remington offers Daniels a complimentary fruit basket. That’s good enough to earn a hug so everything is smooth.

Sea Of Honor Tournament Quarterfinals: Flip Gordon vs. Marty Scurll

The fans are behind Marty here and that’s not the most surprising thing in the world. Marty is nice enough to offer a handshake and even wants some silence for the gesture. Instead they hug (Colt: “Code of Honor really, really shown!”) to a very positive reaction. Ever the villain though, Colt pulls him into a Rock Bottom for two at the opening bell. Flip rolls outside so Marty superkicks him from the apron for another near fall.

Back up and Flip starts to flip to avoid a clothesline, followed by a standing moonsault. They chop it out in the corner with Marty managing to crotch him on top and hit some uppercuts. A top rope superplex attempt is broken up with a headbutt but Scurll enziguris him and NOW the superplex connects for two. Marty starts in on the hand before going to some holds to work on the ribs. He’s a versatile villain you see. There’s a backbreaker into an abdominal stretch on the mat.

Gordon finally kicks him into the corner for a breather and the backflip World’s Strongest Slam sets up a running shooting star. A springboard Sling Blade drops Scurll again and the 450 gets two. They chop it out until Marty turns him inside out with a clothesline. They’re both down for a bit until another chop off goes to Scurll. You don’t often see the villain win one of those. Flip snaps off a Falcon Arrow but gets powerbombed. The ensuing cover is reversed into a rollup to give Flip the fast pin at 11:16.

Rating: B. That was a heck of a match with both guys working hard. I know Scurll doesn’t have the best reception at times but he can put on some good stuff at times. He can go in the ring under the right circumstances and Gordon was more than game for this one. Flip has surprised me over the last few months as he’s turned into a character who can work a match instead of just a one note guy. Really fun match.

Flip’s chest is busted up but Marty still won’t hug him.

Sea Of Honor Tournament Quarterfinals: Jay Briscoe vs. Cheeseburger

If this is anything other than Jay beating this guy into oblivion, there’s no justice in the world. Before the match, Jay offers Cheeseburger a chance to walk out instead of take this beating. Cheeseburger flips him off and please make this be quick. Cheeseburger slugs away to start and gets run over for his efforts as I become a bigger Jay fan by the second.

Jay knocks him hard into the corner but misses a charge, allowing Cheeseburger to get in some meaningless shots to the head. A Death Valley Driver gives Jay two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Cheeseburger slips out and hits what looked like a low blow, followed by the Shotei palm strike for two. Jay superkicks a springboard out of the air and the Jay Driller finishes Cheeseburger at 6:36.

Rating: D. Nothing match of course but I get a perverse enjoyment out of seeing Cheeseburger get destroyed. That’s all this match needed to be as even the announcers were making it clear that Cheeseburger didn’t have a chance. Jay is the most successful wrestler in ROH history so this was a glorified bye for him.

Sea Of Honor Tournament Quarterfinals: Mark Briscoe vs. Adam Page

They chop it out to start with Page’s chop being so bad that the fans make fun of him. It’s hard to get this crowd to boo a guy like him but that chop was worth the insult. Mark hits a chop of his own and the fans seem rather pleased. An exchange of slams has no effect either so Page grabs a delayed suplex to actually get an advantage. Briscoe slugs away but gets kicked out of the air, which the fans say was weak as well. The tabletop suplex gets two and a THAT WAS STRONG chant from the crowd.

Mark turns him inside out with a clothesline….and we’ve got a bird landing on a fan in the crowd. The fans start chanting for the bird so Mark is smart enough to grab a chinlock until they pay attention again. Page gets two off a German suplex but walks into a fisherman’s buster for the same. A hard powerbomb gives Page two more but the Rite of Passage is broken up. Instead Briscoe sends him to the apron and counters the Buckshot Lariat into a rollup for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: C. Thankfully the bird didn’t mess things up that badly as there’s only so much you can do when the fans get distracted like that. Mark putting the chinlock on to ride it out was the right call and it didn’t last too long. You could have gone either way here as Page is a popular guy but the battle of the Briscoes is hard to pass up.

Here are the updated brackets:

Dalton Castle/Ashley Remington

Flip Gordon

Jay Briscoe

Mark Briscoe

Sea Of Honor Tournament Semifinals: Dalton Castle vs. Flip Gordon

It’s night now and it makes for a very cool visual. Castle is back (after some great concussion protocol) and it’s Mandy Leon and Matt Taven on commentary. Hang on though as Castle, in a shirt, says he has a severe sunburn and asks Flip not to touch his body at all. That earns Castle a shoulder block for the most painful reaction ever.

Castle strikes the Peacock Pose so Flip kicks him in the ribs (Fans: “ALOE VERA!!!”) and sends Castle outside with a single chop. Back in and more chops, followed by a BACK RAKE (through a shirt but still) has the fans booing Gordon for the first time. A springboard frog splash gives Flip two so Castle is right back with a hard clothesline. Hang on though as Castle needs to pause for some ice to the chest.

More shots to Flip’s chest set up a short DDT for two but Flip kicks him in the face. A springboard missile dropkick sends Castle into the corner but he’s right back with a spear. Castle is right back with a running knee in the corner as Cabana thinks Castle is reminiscent of Ashley Remington. There might be a small similarity but they’re rather different. Back up and Castle grabs his arm, allowing Flip to roll him up (kind of a wacky rollup with a wrist clutch) for the pin at 9:36.

Rating: D+. They had an idea with the sunburn thing but it didn’t exactly go anywhere. Castle is still banged up so it makes sense that they didn’t want to do all too much here. It was a comedy match and that’s fine on something like this, though the match wasn’t all that fun in the first place.

Sea Of Honor Tournament Semifinals: Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe

This should be fun. They bump forearms before the bell but Mark isn’t waiting around here and shotgun dropkicks Jay at the bell. Another knockdown sets up the Froggy Bow for a very early two. The fight heads outside with Mark throwing a chair in, only to have Jay pelt it into his head to take over. Jay starts stomping away in the corner and fires off some uppercuts. It’s back to the floor with a big boot to Mark’s jaw just waking him up a bit. Jay comes right back and the fighting turns Mandy on a bit.

Back in and Jay kicks him in the face for two more before wedging the chair into the corner. Of course Jay is the one going face first into it and a crossbody through the chair gives Mark two of his own. The fans are WAY into this one as Mark stomps away in the corner. An exchange of kicks to the face (as in seven or eight each) doesn’t go anywhere so Jay goes with a neckbreaker for two instead.

Jay kicks him again but can’t hit the Jay Driller. Mark knocks him in the jaw again and takes him up top for something like an Iconoclasm for two of his own. A second Froggy Bow misses so Mark dropkicks him in the corner for a second time. The fisherman’s buster gets two more as the fans go into a LET’S GO BRISCOE/BRISCOE SUCKS chant for something clever. Mark takes too long going up and gets chaired down, setting up the Jay Driller for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: B. This was all about two guys beating the fire out of each other and it was very entertaining. They were going for the violent, intense brawl here and it worked as well as it could have. I would have gone with Mark getting to the finals for a little change of pace, but Jay is the bigger star and will give Gordon more of a boost if he wins.

They hug post match because brothers have to fight. Or wrestle.

Sea Of Honor Tournament Finals: Jay Briscoe vs. Flip Gordon

Jay jumps him before the bell because he’s a better heel than a face. The beating sends Flip outside and he kind of looks like a monster as they walk around. You can’t script a look like that and it’s a good way of playing towards Briscoe’s nature. Back in and the stomping begins as Flip can’t do anything yet. Jay switches it up to stomping AND choking in the corner, followed by a running big boot.

Flip finally sends him to the floor for a kick to the head but walks into the neckbreaker. A dropkick sets up some swearing and it’s off to the chinlock. As you might have expected, Flip pops up and hits a springboard crossbody/right hand (cool….I think) to put Jay down again. A Pele sets up the springboard spear for two more but Jay crotches him on top. Jay’s superplex is escaped and Flip scores with a running dropkick to the back.

Flip tries a suplex of his own but gets reversed into a fisherman’s buster to knock him silly. Since no one can keep momentum here, Jay walks into a Falcon Arrow for two more. The Jay Driller (See what I mean about momentum?) gets two and the fans aren’t happy with that not being the ending. Flip kicks him in the head again and a TKO is good for the pin and the tournament at 10:53.

Rating: C. This was fine, though that kickout was too much and I think the fans knew it. After three matches of taking a beating, Flip shouldn’t be kicking out of one of the most protected finishers in the company. I’m cool with Gordon getting the title shot though as it’s always nice to see someone fresh get a chance, even if it’s a one off.

Alpha Club vs. Bullet Club

That would be Chris Jericho and the Young Bucks vs. Kenny Omega/Cody/Marty Scurll, which should be a heck of a match. There’s no Brandi here for some reason, though if you were her would you want to be on a cruise around a bunch of fans? Jericho gets the big introduction, as he certainly deserves. He also comes out dressed as a Buck, complete with bandanna, though it looks a bit like a bad Rockers cosplay. The fans are going NUTS for this, as you had to expect. Fans: “VINCE CAN’T TOUCH THIS!!!”

Cody and Nick start things off but Cody isn’t interested in an early handshake. A dropkick sends Cody into the corner for almost the only action of the first minute. Cody’s drop down uppercut lets him flip the fans off so Nick cranks on the arm. He is known for protecting the fans you see. Jericho comes in (POP/CHANTING) to stay on the arm as the Alphas start taking turns. It’s time for the rapid fire offense and triple dives, though the camera doesn’t catch all of them.

Things settle down and it’s Jericho vs. Omega for the real showdown. They circle each other…just long enough for Cody to tags himself in as the waiting has to continue. A jumping knee to the back sends Matt to the floor and it’s Marty starting in on the knees back inside. Marty stomps on the arm for a bonus before handing it off to to Cody for a delayed vertical suplex. Matt finally sends Cody into Marty’s raised boot in the corner but Marty breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cody loads up Shattered Dreams but stops to flip off the crowd, which amazingly enough allows Matt to fight out of the corner. The hot tag brings in Jericho to clean house as everything breaks down. A crossface chickenwing attempt is countered into the Walls on Marty, leaving the Bucks to put Cody and Omega into matching Sharpshooters. Those are broken up as is the Walls, so Matt clotheslines Omega and Cody down. The Bucks start speeding things up and it’s a top rope splash/standing moonsault for two on Cody.

More Bang For Your Buck and the Meltzer Driver are broken up and it’s Omega with his running Fameasser to take Nick down. A series of kicks to the face gets two on Nick with Jericho making the save (Scott D’Amore on commentary: “Not on my cruise!” Good line.) and NOW we get the Omega vs. Jericho showdown. Omega knocks him to the floor but the Rise of the Terminator (which took FOREVER to set up) is countered with a double superkick.

A triple superkick sets up the Meltzer Driver into the Walls on Omega, but Jericho has to let go for a Codebreaker on Marty. Omega is fine enough for a series of hurricanranas but Jericho takes him down into the Walls again. Marty’s umbrella to the back makes the save though and Omega gets a good near fall. Another Meltzer Driver is broken up but Omega can’t hit the One Winged Angle. He can hit a V Trigger though (shocking), followed by a second (take a shot) and the One Winged Angle finishes Matt at 23:20.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what the main event should have been with the kind of wrestlers that these fans want having the kind of match that they do best. It was entertaining, it was fast paced and it was fun. Really, what else could you have asked for here? Also, well done on having Jericho take the fall on his cruise. A lot of people wouldn’t have done that.

Post match it’s a big staredown with Omega and Jericho talking to wrap it up.

Jericho thanks the fans for everything to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I thought I would as it was as laid back of a show as you could have asked for. The wrestling was fun (not great the entire time, but fun) and the venue really made things feel special. Not everything needs to be some big show and it’s ok to have a good time every now and then. That’s what we got here and it flew by at less than three hours. Even if it’s just a big advertisement for next year’s cruise, well done indeed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6