Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2002 (Original)

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Another year and more changes have occurred. The main one is simple: the Brand Split. Yes, Raw and Smackdown are now two separate shows etc. However, there is an Undisputed World Champion and his name is the Rock. He’s defending tonight against the greatest rookie sensation of all time: Brock Lesnar. No one had EVER seen anything like Brock and they likely never will. He took the company and the business by storm, winning the shot by beating RVD in the KOTR final.

There were even rumblings that he could actually win the title tonight but that could never happen. What a silly idea. Your other main event is the return of HBK, facing HHH in what is considered a classic. This show is considered to be a rival to Wrestlemania 17 as the greatest WWF PPV of all time, or at least of the new millennium. Now I watched this show a few months after it aired and I remember it being good but not great. Let’s see if this is as good as it’s built up to be.

Oh also, two months prior to this, a new branch of the National Wrestling Alliance debuted: NWA: TNA.

Oh it’s also WWE now.

No opening video this year. That kind of sucks.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

No real buildup here other than they don’t like each other. Given the amount of matches that they have to put together now, that’s the sacrifice that they had to make I suppose. Angle is wearing red and white stripes with a blue star, making him look like a barber pole. This was back when Rey’s knees weren’t falling apart yet and was close to what he was in WCW, which is to say, amazing. This is about as perfect of a pairing as you could want.

Rey is fast enough to wrestle with heavyweights, while Kurt is small enough and versatile enough to keep up with him. Going for Rey’s ankle makes sense as it could ground him and take away his best asset, so what’s not to like? My answer: nothing. This has been a very good match so far. The fans are very hot for this too so that’s always a perk. Rey keeps getting closer and closer here but Angle keeps getting up.

What you have to keep in mine here is that at the time, Rey wasn’t a huge star like he is now. He was a rookie that only had a handful of experience outside of the cruiserweight ranks. Think of him like a better Evan Bourne and think of Angle like Jericho. Imagine Bourne and Jericho opening a PPV and Bourne getting so close every time but just not being able to put Jericho away, but Jericho can’t win either. That’s where you get this match.

These guys are killing each other out there and it’s great, as neither can put the other away. Rey gets Angle on the floor but the referee won’t let him dive. Rey says screw it and jumps over the referee and lands on Angle in a sweet looking front flip (Do a barrel roll!).

619 (which in WCW wasn’t an attack but rather a fake out) and West Coast Pop get two as Rey doesn’t know what to do. Rey goes up top and flips forward to avoid Kurt and goes for a hurricanrana. Angle more or less jumps forward and grabs the ankle. He goes to the middle and just cranks on it until Rey taps.

Rating: A+. Awesome match. That’s the only way to describe this. These two just went out there and did it. This was back when Rey was relatively healthy before his knees just got destroyed. He’s still good now, but back then he was insane. Rey in WCW was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a wrestler.

If you think Bourne is good, Rey from back then would run circles around him. This was as close as Rey ever got to that in WWE, and it was great. Find this match and watch it as it’s absolutely great. Screw it, this gets an A+.

Stephanie is mad that Bischoff is in her office but she agrees to share it with him for the night, as she proves she just can’t act. She does have nice legs though.

Ross and Lawler are talking about the show, but for some reason they had them really far away from the ring back then. It made no sense to me and just looked odd.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Again, no backstory. We get a clip from them fighting on Raw, including Flair breaking all of Fozzy’s equipment, but it’s never explained why they’re fighting in the first place. This was when Flair was still fairly mobile and not all old and disturbing looking. He was only 52 and still could be decent in the ring. Being in there with Jericho is going to help as Jericho can wrestle Flair’s style, and is smart enough to know how to wrestle a Flair match.

See, Flair is considered one of the best of all time because he knew what he did best and it worked with anyone. Flair had a formula, and all he had to do was plug his opponent into that formula for the majority of the match and then have the finish. This was exactly what he did throughout his career in WCW and it hardly ever failed. Yes, Flair’s matches are pretty standard, but they’re also pretty good. I mean his stuff from when he was in his prime mind you.

Go back and watch some of that stuff from the NWA in the mid to late 80s and tell me if you can find a truly bad match. Now not everything is going to be a classic of course, but he hardly ever had a truly bad match. On the rare occasions that he did, it was because the other guy wanted to run the style of the match, which traditionally meant Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was notorious for insisting on having his style of match, which worked for him and him alone.

Go watch their Starrcade matches and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just not looking like a normal Flair match and it just isn’t that good. Granted, this could be because Dusty just was awful in the ring as he couldn’t go for more than 5 minutes without resting. He was lazy on a snapmare in that match. It’s one of the most basic moves in wrestling and he’s lazy with it.

Anyway, the point of this rant was that at the end of the day, the reason Flair’s stuff was bad near the end of his career was the matches stopped playing to his strengths and became based on what the other guy could do. Flair made a career out of taking a guy that was good and making him great by making him look great.

Look at Sting. He was a good wrestler, but his rivalry with Flair is where he got noticed, because Flair made him look great. In WWE, Vince didn’t let this happen and it caused Flair to look bad and the guys that were against Flair didn’t look as good as they could have.

Ok, rant over at least for now. Once I get going in those things I just can’t stop. For some reason we don’t have Flair’s normal music. It’s the weird imitation that he had back in 92. We’re a minute into this match and they’re already talking about how he beat Rock and Austin in one night. My goodness that is never going to leave. It’s a huge deal but good grief let it die. The WOOS are loud tonight.

This is a stat that blew me away. Jericho has been around for a LONG time right? He was 2 when Flair debuted. That’s just ridiculous. Flair has been wrestling almost as long as Jericho, a veteran at this point, had been alive. Jericho calls a spot to Flair in fairly obvious fashion. He just leans over and whispers it to him. It’s scary to think that Flair, at 52, has miles better cardio than most of the roster in their 20s and 30s. This match has been very physical to say the least.

There are so many little things that Flair does that show why he’s great. It’s not a bunch of big impressive moves with a few botches here or there. It’s a simple, basic style that has practically zero mistakes in it. In other words, it’s not about what he’s doing well. It’s about what he’s not doing wrong. Then the little things like getting the referee looking somewhere else to use a bunch of punches. He plays to the crowd well too.

How sad is it that so many people today would be clueless about how to do this? We get a cool sequence where Flair goes for the Boston Crab and Jericho gets a figure four, showing how fairly stupid it is to have finishers like that which almost anyone can do. That’s why I like the liontamer, the one with the knee in the back, more. No one else uses it. Apparently over time the amount of points that the figure four puts pressure on has gone from 5 in Gordon Solie’s days to 7 now.

In a brilliant move, Flair grabs the ropes and taps. The thing is, since the hold should be broken, the submission can’t count. That’s a very smart thing to do as it buys him a lot of time. Referee gets a thumb in the eye, or maybe a short knee (rep for the first person that gets what I’m talking about) allowing Flair to low blow Jericho and put on the figure four. Anyone think it’s a bit sexual looking when Flair bounces up and down while in it? Yeah I never thought that either. Jericho taps.

Rating: B. While not as good as the other match, this was still very solid. As good as Flair is though, I’m not sure I’m sold on him practically beating Jericho, who was world champion earlier in the year, clean. It was a very good match with Flair being the better of the two, but still, it just had me kind of wondering.

Promo for Hogan DVD.

Heyman is with Lesnar and talks about him ending Hogan’s career. Lesnar is a freaking tank.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Dang 3 matches and 6 world champions. Again, very limited backstory here as they just don’t have the time to do it. As awesome as Edge’s old music was, he desperately needs something more hardcore at this point. He’s rocking the glasses and the trench coat though so you can see the future Edge trying to get out. However, in less than 6 months he’d be out for over a year, so that kind of got put on hold.

Apparently Eddie is upset about Edge being popular and a sex symbol (really?). That’s almost creepy given who Edge would be married to on WWE TV. Just as I say that about Edge’s injury, he might have gotten hurt. He has a bit of a stinger according to Tazz, who would know something about having a Steve Borden. If he is hurt, Eddie doesn’t seem to care at all.

In case you didn’t know, Edge is a HUGE face here and way over with the crowd. Apparently it’s Edge’s shoulder….er neck…..maybe shoulder…..can the commentators make up their freaking minds?? Either way, Eddie is crushing him right now. Eddie is just going insane on Edge’s shoulder, so if nothing else we have a simple story going on that works really well. If nothing else, how can Edge spear someone if his shoulder is killing him without hurting himself really badly?

The main thing of this match is nothing more than Eddie working over the shoulder. Frog Splash misses but after a brief Edge comeback including the Impaler, Eddie hits a splash down onto the shoulder. Of course, because he’s the charismatic face though, Edge is able to spear Eddie without his arm falling off for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending just ruined this for me. I got into Eddie’s shoulder work, but then when Edge more or less no sold it at the end, it was a total waste in my eyes. What’s the point in working an injury and taking away a guy’s finishing move if the other guy is just going to no sell it and use his move anyway? That was just bad and made me shake my head, which sucks as the match was pretty good.

Tag Titles: UnAmericans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Now this was a gimmick that I thought was very solid. Christian and Lance Storm represent the UnAmericans here, with Test being the third member of the trio. In short: they don’t like America. They were given the tag titles but very soon after this the gimmick was just completely dropped. I’ve never quite gotten why though. Either way, the odd thing here was that Booker and Goldust were also a team, yet they have absolutely nothing in common.

Hearing the announcers try to give them something in common really is quite funny. The fact that they’re both from Texas never really seemed to sink in. Either way, they were a fairly decent team, albeit they were far more comedic than serious, but Booker would be pushed towards the title picture soon and then put into a serious team with RVD, so all is good I suppose.

Anyway, on with the match. Hearing Lawler try desperately to make Booker and Goldust pro-America is rather interesting, as he compares them to the Great American Melting Pot without ever referring to it as such. The USA chants are really loud to say the least, so if nothing else the heels are drawing heat like they’re supposed to be. Ross’ repetition is nothing short of annoying.

Goldust hits a Bossman Slam as I try to come up with a connection between those two and it’s not working. We get a classic ref didn’t see the tag spot which needs to be done more often. It’s as simple of a way to draw heat as there is in a tag match. This crowd is HOT. Booker gets his own chant as he’s clearly the big star in this match. We knew he was a big deal, but they didn’t push him as such until March, when he was fed to HHH.

Oddly enough, HHH had everyone on the planet fed to him until tonight when he let Shawn, his old buddy, have a classic with him. It’s not like these jokes have no basis in reality, but I’ll save that rant for later…maybe. Anyway, Booker finally gets the hot tag to a huge pop. He throws chops at Christian so fast that the crowd can’t WOO fast enough. That’s actually pretty impressive.

Booker hits his missile dropkick which would have won him the world title in WCW but since this is the WWF and Christian is for some reason popular, he kicks out at two. It always amazes me how a finishing move can just lose its power over the course of a year. Booker spins up as Mark Madden gets another ego boost.

The faces dominate for a good while until Test runs out and kicks Booker’s head off to keep the titles for the heels. On replay, we see the referee looking right at Test leaving as Booker is left lying. Yeah that makes sense. The Smackdown tag titles would be debuted in about two months.

Rating: C-. This was about as cookie cutter of a match as you could have imagined. While it’s ok, it’s just ok. Booker and Goldust would eventually get the titles later on in January for all of two weeks. It wasn’t bad, but just not great.

Nidia does some stupid thing at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York.

Eric and Stephanie make some stupid sex jokes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. RVD

This is cross promotional, so we have two announcers which is both kind of cool and kind of stupid. Benoit and Eddie have been jumping rosters lately, going from Raw where he won the title to Smackdown. The US Title on Smackdown was about a year away at this point, so there was only the midcard title on Smackdown. Van Dam kicks the freaking heck out of Benoit to start, so you know this is going to be physical to say the least.

This was a weird time for these two as Van Dam was kind of replacing Angle in the triad of the midcard. You always had Benoit and Jericho, but Angle was always a step ahead of those two, and eventually as he was phased up into the main event, Van Dam was thrown into the middle of the card more or less as an experiment and I’d say that it was a success. Frog splash misses and Benoit gets the crossface, which he locks on for about 30 seconds.

No tap though as we’re really just getting going. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so, Benoit gets another two crossfaces on Van Dam who STILL doesn’t tap as we’re entering HBK at Mania 12 territories of not giving up. In a nice touch of comedy (in my eyes at least), Van Dam locks in the crossface, at least I think that’s what it is although he never was one for submission holds, on Benoit.

This lasts all of 4 seconds though as Benoit is the master of it so why wouldn’t he be able to get out of it? I’m not wild on the two matches with focus on the shoulder like this, but in this case it makes much more sense with Benoit’s finisher focusing on the shoulder. I guess with Eddie and Edge it made sense due to some psychology being thrown in, but I’m still not wild about it at all.

In something I never once remember seeing before, Van Dam’s hair tie comes undone and his hair is freely flowing. I’ve never seen that before and I really don’t like it. He looks almost like Tyler Reks with it like that, which works fine for the surfer, but it just doesn’t look right on Robbie V. I’m thinking I forgot a Ross joke here. That’s going to bother me now. The ending here is just not that great.

Benoit has a belly to back suplex countered as Van Dam rolls over onto him and lands in kind of a cross body/splash. In a very nice looking move, Van Dam looks down at Benoit from the top rope with Benoit’s feet pointing to him. He turns in the air and lands a Five Star for the pin and the title. Really not huge on that ending, as it’s just kind of there. There’s not a lot of drama as Van Dam just jumps up and hits the splash and pins him. However, a guy winning a title clean is a very refreshing thing to see. There was no interference or anything. Van Dam simply countered and hit his finishing move to get the pin. That’s both good and bad I guess, but the rest of the match was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: B. This was very intense and well done. It’s probably Van Dam’s biggest win of his career up to that point and is probably one of the biggest of his career even to this day, with the world title obviously being ahead of it. He beat Benoit, one of the best ever, clean. If that’s not validation of his ability at least on one night, I don’t know what is. Very good match though and worth checking out.

Stephanie, with those gorgeous legs showing very well, before laughing for no apparent reason at Bischoff bragging. Not sure what this led to, but it might have been the US Title. Actually that’s not it, as the IC Title would soon be unified with the world title, in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time. It would be revived about 8 months later when everyone realized how truly stupid it was, and THAT would bring about the US Title.

We’re getting ready for Test and the Undertaker. JR says a lot of people want to know who the UnAmericans are, why they’re here, and why they’re doing this. In short: Lance Storm, Christian and Test, they’re professional wrestlers and TNA was a baby at this time and since Vince had more or less created a monopoly there was nowhere else to work, and they’re Canadians that don’t like Americans. Why is that such a complicated thing to figure out?

The UnAmericans carry around an upside down American flag to symbolize how messed up America is. That’s either brilliant or really stupid. They keep saying they hate America, so the American wants to beat up Test. On a side note, William Regal would join them later on. Taker’s punches were called soup bones for no apparent reason around this time, as JR continues to get further and further away from this lovely little thing called reality.

Oh yeah we’re in the Tough Enough era here and Tough Enough 3 was going on. The winner of that was one John Hennigan. You may know him as John Morrison. The other winner was named Matt Cappotelli, and while you may not have heard of him, I was lucky enough to see him in OVW.

He was absolutely awesome and I can guarantee you of this: he would have been either as big a star as Morrison or far bigger. The guy had that X factor to him and you knew he would have been something very special. His retirement speech almost had me in tears. I wish I could find a copy of it.

Undertaker vs. Test

You won’t hear this, but JR says that Test has been living on nothing but potential forever. How true that is of so many workers today. This is part of the UnAmericans vs. everyone else so Taker busts out a hiptoss of all things as he dominates early. The big clothesline hits but Old School is blocked to let Test take over.

Test’s fairly generic big man offense takes over. This is rather slow paced and not very interesting. Taker gets a belly to belly to get out of most of the trouble but an elbow misses. They slug it out which of course Taker wins which lets him get a running DDT for two. Old School connects and the bigger man is in control.

Test’s big boot misses and a chokeslam gets two which is probably the high point of Test’s career. Christian and Storm run in which gets them nowhere. It does however allow Test to get his big boot for two as Test PANICS since the one solid move he knows did nothing at all. He grabs a chair but it gets kicked into his own ugly face and a Tombstone ends it. That was a rarity at this point so it was cool to see. He celebrates with the flag afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good. It was certainly more about the angle than the match, and while there are occasions that I’ll make exceptions for that such as Hogan vs. Andre, this isn’t one of those occasions. It’s just not good as their styles were too similar and while Taker is good enough, Test just didn’t care at this point and it shows. Solid angle, bad match, as Test just wasn’t in Taker’s league, ever.

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Taker is just now leaving, so that was an extended celebration I guess.

We start the build for what I think (and yes it’s very debatable) was your real main event. Shawn hasn’t wrestled in over 1600 days. That’s a lot of sleepless nights for Becca. Lawler says that a lot of these people have never seen Shawn wrestle, which means that a lot of people have never heard of home video obviously, or Lawler thinks it’s 1940 and there’s no such thing as taping a match.

In case you’ve never heard it, here’s the basic build for this match. Shawn and HHH were in DX together as you likely know. However, Shawn got hurt and HHH took over DX and became the star that he is today. Now, in the Summer of 2002, Shawn came back for a night, unbeknownst to us, healthy and sober. That night, it seemed to be all about Shawn again, which was unfair to HHH who had actually had a more successful career as far as title reigns and time on top than Shawn had.

That night, Shawn came up with the idea of reforming DX (I want that man shot) and HHH went along with it, or at least he did in the beginning. They do the two words line, but then HHH kicks him and pedigrees him. You can tell this is serious because it goes into slow motion. HHH hits a very weird pedigree as he jumps way too high and it looks like Shawn was countering it with a backdrop.

Anyway, HHH says that Shawn used HHH to get to the top, so now HHH used Shawn to get to the top, which makes even less sense but whatever. Now this is the part of the storyline that I never understood. HHH is cutting the promo in the ring where he says all of that stuff. Ok, that’s fine. A guy gets his attention and says that something happened.

HHH bolts from the ring and goes off to find a bunch of guys around Shawn who is laid out on the ground bleeding and there’s a hole in the window of a car. HHH says he’ll find who did it and when he does, that person is a marked man. Shawn comes back a few weeks later for a satellite interview, and he has the footage from the security camera, and naturally it’s HHH. As I’ve said many times, what’s the point?

For one thing, why wouldn’t it have been HHH? He’s cutting a promo about how he can’t stand Shawn, and since Shawn has been back for all of 2 weeks, why wouldn’t it have been him? Seriously, who else was it supposed to have been? Why wouldn’t they have just shown it being him, maybe ending the show like that, and THEN have the interview where Shawn challenges him for Summerslam? HHH says that he did it to prove a point, which was that Shawn is vulnerable.

Ok, that’s all well and good, but WHY WOULD HE GO ON A FREAKING MANHUNT IF HE DID IT? That makes no sense! What’s the point in turning him heel one week, turning him face for two weeks, and THEN revealing him to be the mastermind for lack of a better term, thus turning him heel all over again? It’s just pure overkill and was absurd. ANYWAY, Shawn says that he’ll be completely recovered by Summerslam. So let me get this straight.

Shawn couldn’t get better from a broken back, which is something that could have paralyzed him, in four and a half years, but if you cut him on the head he’ll recover in less than a month? Are you telling me that all Shawn had to do to completely be healed was cut himself shaving? If that’s the case, Becca might have a fit. This match is non-sanctioned, which Bischoff says means that it never happens. HHH says the logical thing: Oh Eric, but it will happen.

See, that’s my issue with matches that never happen. YES THEY DID! When you erase something from the record books, people still remember the matches themselves. That’s why taking down banners for basketball games or erasing wins is freaking stupid. The games were played, and therefore we’re going to remember who won, who lost, by how much, and what kind of shoes they were wearing.

The match not only happened, it happened in a WWE ring, on a WWE PPV, had WWE commentators and had a WWE referee, but people know who freaking won it! The match DID happen, so what’s the point in saying it’s non-sanctioned? If it was non-sanctioned, then this would be happening in a parking lot somewhere instead of in front of 14,000 people. Since it’s not an official match, why is HHH in wrestling gear?

Does he wear that in his everyday life? Is there constantly a referee following him around to check and see if he wants to go for a pin? Does he think he’s Nighthawk and that he’s competing to become Champion of Wrestling (OCW joke for those of you that have NO clue what I mean)? Are you starting to see how stupid this really is? Just call it what it is: a WWE street fight. It sounds better, it looks better, and above all else: IT MAKES SENSE!!!

They get a full music video before the match here, which actually does show off how great of a match this could be. HHH’s line of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE ANYMORE!” while as corny as it sounds, actually tells the whole story here in just four words.

That’s the sign of a good promo: it sums up everything simply, without having to use a big elaborate bunch of words to fill in time. All that being said though, the buildup had you actually believing that something special was coming, and for those of you that have seen it, you know that it is. For those of you that haven’t, be ready to enjoy.

HHH vs. HBK

Before I begin, one note that I’m likely to forget. In an interview that HHH gave about Shawn and this match in particular, he says that this was a 45 minute match. From what I’ve seen, it clocks in at about 27-30. That’s a far cry from 45 if my math is correct, but I digress. To say the pop for HBK’s music is massive would be like saying Hogan was a little over.

The flashbulbs are going off all over the place as this is actually a very epic moment. It’s not like Shawn was doing nothing when he left. He was wrestling in the main event at a major show as the world champion and he retained. It’s fairly obvious that he would have gotten at least a rematch with Austin at Backlash and likely have been champion again somewhere down the road. However, it’s likely that his addictions would have caused major problems.

Geez I need to stop these tangents. He gets the mega star treatment which he deserves, including pyro, confetti, etc. He’s actually looking like it’s a non-sanctioned fight, wearing an undershirt and jeans. His shirt says Philippians 4:13, which for you football geeks is what Tim Tebow has on his eye black in every games. For those of you that don’t know who that is, watch some real football, not that nonsense they play in Europe and find out.

For those of you that have no idea what it means, it’s a Bible verse that reads “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That makes a lot of sense for this match. Usually I want the face to come out last and get the big pop, but here I think it’s better that Shawn came out first. Also, Lawler says that no one in history has had more charisma than Shawn.

Not sure about that King. I’m thinking of a guy in red and yellow. He posed a lot, kind of made wrestling what it is today. In an odd fact that you may not know, the man who wears red and yellow, despite many tries, has never once beaten Jerry Lawler by pinfall. They fought dozens of times, but Lawler never lost cleanly to him. SCREW these tangents!

HHH gets the booing to end all booing. You have to keep in mind: HHH is at about the level here that he’s at today, so it’s not like Shawn was coming back to fight Dolph Ziggler or someone like that. He was taking on one of the very best. Shawn is all calm here, even doing the lay on the rope like a hammock thing. I really like that actually, as it plays to Shawn’s laid back persona that he had when he was at his peak.

If he was all serious and angry that would have made sense too, but I think this actually works a bit better. Shawn starts fast, throwing his PERFECT towel in HHH’s face and punching him. Apparently this is due to his Texas pride. What in the world does Texas pride have to do with this? He jumped him. Isn’t that being a bit cowardly actually? Why am I trying to make sense of something JR said?

Shawn starts by throwing punches for the most part, but within two minutes he launches over the top rope with a plancha, followed by more punches. That’s a very smart idea actually. Shawn has been out of the ring for four and a half years. It’s not like he’s going to be the Shawn that was wrestling just before the injury. He’s going to have a lot of ring rust, so punching makes sense.

Also, it’s a good safety advertisement for kids and adults. Since this isn’t an actual match, it’s not actual wrestling right? Therefore, Shawn not doing a lot of wrestling moves is showing that people shouldn’t try this at home. Now it’s ok to punch someone’s head in, but don’t try to slam them. We get weapons brought in, namely the trashcan of death, as JR talks about Shawn’s son watching at home.

There’s a great parenting lesson: if you’re ever possibly walking into a match where you have little to no chance of winning and could be paralyzed because your pride got in the way of your thinking, make sure your kids are watching, because it could be your only chance to look good for them. Sweet Chin Music misses and HHH lands a backbreaker, which Shawn sells like death, opening the main psychology of this match, which was to be expected.

You know, you’d think that after four and a half years his back would be a bit better. Oh, Lawler has used vintage four times inside of 5 minutes. I wonder if that’s where Cole got it. You can almost see the Harley Race coming out of HHH already as he looks just pure evil. Ross says that WWE has nothing to do with this match as I am fighting from rehashing what I said earlier.

Chair is brought in and cracked over Shawn’s back, but since he has HEART, he can kick out of what would pin others, despite it being his weakest point. JR says HHH is 6’4 and a half and weighs 260, despite him being listed as 272 just 8 minutes ago. I feel like I’m watching a Captain Planet parody with all these heart references. DDT on a chair which should have crippled someone but he kicks out with ease, but he’s bleeding.

Lawler says this match may have been the biggest mistake of Shawn’s career. He hung out with Luna, so that’s a big negative there King. HHH gets the sledgehammer as Shawn fights him off. HHH goes for an abdominal stretch which I’m sure has Gorilla Monsoon complaining in his grave. HHH grabs the rope, which I’m still trying to figure out how that actually adds anything to the hold.

Earl Hebner yells at HHH about it and you can tell he means business because he has a mic on him, but keep in mind: this IS NOT a real match. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope as a little bit of Becca’s soul dies. Another chair shot to the back would normally end anyone else’s career, but SHAWN HAS HEART! I know I’ve made fun of a lot of this, but this match really has been good.

I’m rarely a person that can pick out specific things a guy does in a match, but even I can tell that HHH is a master heel. They do a spot where HHH sets up a chair and Shawn is side slammed through it. If it broke then it hurts horribly, and if it doesn’t break then it hurts like the 7th circle of torment. We get probably the 5th spot that would kill anyone else, but Shawn has….screw it even I’m getting tired of that joke.

JR says Shawn is limp. I’m sure Becca could fix that. Ok I’ll try to keep the Becca jokes to a minimum now. Shawn starts his comeback in his comeback match by countering the pedigree. The fans are white hot here, even 15 minutes into this. From out of nowhere, Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music into a chair but Shawn is spent, which makes sense. The psychology is definitely here, as it’s always nice to have guys that actually know how to work the mental side of a match as these two do. HHH is busted.

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Shawn has had maybe 5 moves that would have ended any match with ease, including a DDT on a chair, and 5 minutes later he’s fine? Even Hulk Hogan thinks that’s a bit much to swallow from Shawn. Becca says…never mind. All of a sudden Shawn is limping around again, so I guess I can buy the adrenaline excuse. JR calls the chair shot a Jason Giambi like swing which makes me laugh. Of all the power hitters in history he picks him?

The commentators have a crazy idea: Shawn could win. I get that this is supposed to be his last hurrah, but is it that hard to believe? Ok yes it would have been at the time. The fans want tables, so HHH is put on the most famous one of all time: The Portuguese Announce Table! In a weird spot, Shawn pulls the shoe from one of the commentators, which Lawler says is a heel for a heel as I can’t believe he still has a job at this point.

You can say heel but you can’t say belt or strap? It’s ladder time. DAng why can’t it be wiggle time? HHH gets a solid shot right in the hand with it. In case you didn’t know, this is non-sanctioned. Did you know it’s non-sanctioned? I just want to make it clear that this is non-sanctioned. And last but not least, it’s non-sanctioned. HHH busts out a baseball slide as two things happen: he uses a new move so screw you HHH haters, and I am WAY past my record for talking about one match.

You can tell this is a big match as HHH goes up top. Shawn gets a weird float around sunset flip but he shoves himself off at two because the spot looks bad if HHH kicks out on his own. JR randomly throws in how evil HHH is. That is yet another example of why I love professional wrestling. Where else could someone try to cripple you but just a few years later you’re best friends again and fighting on PPV together?

That must have been one heck of a Christmas card that HHH sent him. “Hey man, sorry about that whole wanting you in a wheelchair thing and the attempted manslaughter. Next time we hit Waffle House, you can get a Coke on me.” Drop toehold into the stairs for HHH and we actually get a realistic looking impact. Why are tables such a big deal? It’s not like they’re that deadly.

Wouldn’t it actually break the fall a bit as you have less time in freefall? Shawn comes off with a splash from the top to the floor with a table, which is just cool looking no matter how long he’s been out. The holy crap chants have started, which is fine as this match is awesome. Correction: this match is greatness. There is a difference. The odd thing about that though is that this is really just an extended hardcore match with big names.

They’re hardly doing anything revolutionary, yet the match certainly is great. I think that goes to show just how awesome both of these guys are. They’re taking stuff that we’ve seen dozens of times before but by using storytelling and style, they’re making it look better than ever. Shawn lands the Screw You elbow and bounces up. The old school stomping on the mat clues HHH in to what’s coming and it’s countered into the Pedigree, but Shawn rolls him up to shock the world and win the match.

Normally I would have been for the Sweet Chin Music and the clean pin, but with that we can’t have what follows: HHH drilling him in the back with the hammer to become Satan incarnate. He then does it AGAIN to make Satan look like a baby bunny named Lucy.

Lawler is absolutely losing it in some of the best commentary I’ve ever seen. Ross sounds like any other heinous act, but Lawler is probably at his best ever here. The fans are chanting for HBK, but since he’s not Hulk Hogan, he can’t get up. Shawn is stretchered out as the fans are almost dead silent.

Rating: A+. Holy crap this was awesome. You have to remember, Shawn hadn’t done a freaking thing in nearly 5 years. This would be like Austin coming back and stealing the show and having one of the best matches of his life. Both guys were so on here that it’s not even funny.

Norcal says it’s in the top 5 matches of all time and I’m not sure I can disagree. I might not rank it that high, but dang it was fun. Easily one of the best I’ve ever seen and if you haven’t seen it before, turn the lights out and watch it right now. It’s certainly worth the 30 (not 45 HHH) minutes.

Ok, now I have to bring this up because it was the talk of the IWC around this time. As you know, HHH gets a LOT of criticism for never putting people over and while today that’s complete nonsense, those complaints started around this time and I think that at this time they were completely true. “But KB, he JUST put Shawn over.” Yes he did, but you have to remember that at this time no one, not even Vince himself thought that Shawn was coming back full time.

This was a one off performance and that was it. It’s no different than when Hogan came back and beat Orton and HBK. He had nothing to lose but he didn’t put them over as they needed. It’s no different here. HBK didn’t need to win here, given the circumstances at the time. Yes, HHH put someone over, but he put someone over that didn’t need it. Less than a month after this HHH would be awarded the WHC and after a brief Shawn run HHH would hold it for over 9 months.

In that time he beat everyone and beat them soundly. That right there is where he got the reputation for never putting anyone over, and I think those are valid claims. Prior to this he had won the title at Mania 18 and lost it to Hogan, who was just another nostalgia run like HBK was right here. In other words, for over a year and a half, HHH put over HBK, his best friend, and Hogan, the biggest star of all time.

Starting with the creation of the Undisputed Title in December of 2001 and ending with Wrestlemania 21 almost three and a half years later, the longest HHH wert without being world champion: just under four and a half months. Once the second title was created in September of this year or about 2 weeks after this show until Mania 21 (Batista and Cena winning the world titles): 5 months.

Both of these times he was feuding with HBK for the majority of the time. Therefore, I think there certainly was something to those claims back then that he was either playing politics or hogging the title while refusing to put anyone over, as he was either champion or feuding with HBK.

Since we had an amazing moment, we follow it with a bit that is supposed to be funny. This was the Get The F Out campaign because of those panda lovers.

JR and Lawler don’t think HHH is a very nice person. No valentine’s day cards for them.

Howard Finkel has something to say as we have entered the Twilight Zone. He says that he’s dedicated to the business and while MLB may be going on strike (they didn’t), the fans will always have the Fink. For no reason at all, Trish comes out for this. Apparently….they’ve been feuding?

Like I said in my Smackdown review, it’s kind of awesome hearing Fink’s voice being ticked off. Trish hits on him for some reason. Howard references a certain part of his body as my scars are scarred for life. Lillian is behind them and she beats up Fink and leaves with Trish. Aside from having two very hot women appear, this may have been the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

We see a promo package on the rise of Brock and how Rock has been training “specially” for this match, which means he’s getting in shape to film the Rundown.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

After all that, Tony Chimmel is announcing. Brock’s music is great and Heyman is in his element as the jerk agent. This match was Rock’s very last time being around any title period as he would make one last 3 month run in the spring, beating Hogan and Austin before putting Goldberg over and riding off into Hollywood, only appearing for Mania the next year.

Basically, this was to launch Brock as high up as they could in one match and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done better. Rock was really just a trophy champion at this point, having no title matches and never really being the focus of the show at all. Since Austin was on hiatus at this point, Rock was all they had left as HHH was busy with HBK. They figured they would roll the dice on Brock and just see what happened.

There’s not a lot to say here other than Brock is destroying him. I mean this is almost an extended squash, with the fans all over Rock. It’s a smark crowd so I’m assuming they know Rock is gone after tonight. Either way, Rock is getting booed out of the building here and the fans LOVE Brock, who was turned face about three months later at Survivor Series. Actually it was a bit before, but it was official that night as Heyman turned on him, making Brock face by default.

Brock puts on a bearhug which I kid you not lasts nearly three minutes. Granted, it’s the hug that killed Hogan off, but DANG that’s a long time. After the nap I was taking ends with them finally doing something, they go to the floor and Lesnar is down. During this time, Heyman gets the worst Rock Bottom of all time through the table. Back in, Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Lesnar kicks out because that’s what monster heels do.

He hits his own Rock Bottom which Tazz calls, say it with me, the Brock Bottom, and yes, it is stupider than it sounds. They trade punches with Rock winning and going for the Elbow but Brock pops up to just take his head off with a clothesline. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever seen.

We get a great series of near finishers and counters, but Brock lands the F5 to completely shock the world and win the title as the fans go nuts. The ending is really fast with clichéd lines like the next big thing has arrived. I think they were pressed for time or something here because the show is over maybe 15 seconds after the pin without even a single replay.

Rating: C+. This again wasn’t about the wrestling but what it meant. As I said this was Brock’s big moment and they couldn’t have put him over any stronger if their lives depended on it. He dismantled Rock and made it look easy. Of course they would screw this up royally by putting him with Big Show who would injure him at a house show because he was too fat for Brock to throw around without hurting himself.

Scratch that. Brock could throw him around, but Show just sucked badly at this time. Either way they had no choice but to give Show the belt in an angle that was just horrid as it made Brock look pretty weak. Also, less than two weeks after this the Undisputed belt is made exclusive to Smackdown which I think is what Stephanie was laughing about earlier.

Anyway it leads to HHH being given (literally) the World Heavyweight Championship which Shawn would win at Survivor Series in the first Elimination Chamber. DAng I got off topic again. Anyway, Brock was awesome, Rock put him over and bailed, and Austin was long gone, so Brock is officially a big deal.

Overall Rating: A+. This show is awesome, but HHH/HBK should have gone on last, plain and simple. It was by far and away the bigger story and got more attention. Also, after that match, the fans weren’t spent but they weren’t as alive as they could have been for the title change.

Other than that, I don’t have any issue with this show. It’s solid all around with nothing bad on it at all. I’ve heard it compared to Mania 17 and while I don’t think it’s better or equal to it, it beats anything for second place at least off the top of my head. Highest recommendation all around here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night War Debate DVD

This is the second in the box of seven DVDs I picked up last week and you can win them.  Check out the details right here.  This one was filmed the day of the 2015 Royal Rumble (January 25, 2015) in Philadelphia and runs about two hours and twenty five minutes.

So you’ve probably heard of something like this before. There is no secret that the Monday Night Wars have been discussed to death. And I mean to death to death. Between the full length documentary with the talking heads to the borderline obnoxious twenty part documentary on the Network. The subject has been covered and there isn’t much left to be talked about.

Therefore, it wasn’t the most thrilling thing in the world when I pulled this DVD out of the box I got last week. This time around though it’s a one on one debate between two of the main names in the Monday Night War with Eric Bischoff and Bruce Prichard talking about the whole thing. Throw in Chris Jericho as moderator and you have the makings for something interesting.

They do mention that there isn’t much that you haven’t heard before and that’s kind of nice. Other than a few stories, you’re not going to get much new information out of this but it’s cool to have a different kind of format and a non-WWE version of the story. The two of them are clearly friends (or at least friendly with each other) and there are only a few arguments between the two.

There are some interesting points and Jericho adds a nice perspective from a talent who was on both sides. The whole thing was an entertaining way to spend a few hours and while nothing new was added, it was a fun event. Jericho is there to make things that much more entertaining and the whole thing was perfectly fine for what it was.




Monday Night Raw – February 14, 2005: The Last Stop

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2005
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back in America but the show is in a bit of a weird place at the moment. It’s the last show before No Way Out, meaning the last show before we can officially begin the Road to Wrestlemania. The fans are chomping at the bit to see Batista finally snap and turn on HHH but we need to go through the motions of acting like Batista might go after JBL instead. The inching forward continues tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Chris Jericho in a mock New York Rangers jersey to open things up with the Highlight Reel. The guest this week is Candice Michelle, who is very popular at the moment due to her Go Daddy commercial from the Super Bowl. Jericho talks about all the attention she has been getting since the commercial but Candice doesn’t know what the big deal is about. She teases dancing a bit here and suggests a wardrobe malfunction might happen.

Jericho freaks out over the idea of a bare shoulders. Candice takes her shoulder straps down, giving us a GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST from Jericho. Cue Muhammad Hassan though and Jericho doesn’t seem pleased. The fans give him a USA chant and Hassan calls it hypocrisy. Not the fans chanting USA to an Arab American and proving his point, but Candice being cheered while he received no accolades for beating Sgt. Slaughter. This is part of the dumbing down of America and Jericho is the poster child of stupidity (I’m having Dean Douglas flashbacks).

Jericho thinks they have a lot in common. See, Hassan and Daivari are Arab Americans and he is the Ayatollah of rock and rollah. Daivari rants and points but Jericho doesn’t play on that side of the fence. Jericho has seen the way they look at each other and gets the idea: Daivari is Hassan’s special Valentine! The match is on after the break.

Chris Jericho vs. Muhammad Hassan

Joined in progress with Hassan getting dropped with a belly to back suplex followed by a regular one for the arrogant two. The Walls attempt doesn’t work so Jericho hits a springboard shoulder to knock him off the apron. A Daivari distraction lets Hassan get in a backbreaker though and it’s time to start in on the ribs. It’s kind of amazing how much easier Hassan is to watch when he’s in a match that might mean something.

The shots to the back are cut off with a spinwheel kick and Jericho hits the running crotch attack to the back. The Flashback looks to finish Hassan but Daivari has the referee. That earns him a springboard dropkick, but the distraction lets Hassan hit the Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: D+. I said it was easier to watch but that doesn’t make it good. Hassan’s matches just don’t have many good qualities to them and when the promos are the exact same thing every week, he’s just not going to get very far. I know WWE thinks this is the best idea they’ve had in a good while because it ties into the real world news of the moment, but it’s really not working because they’re not letting it go beyond the stereotypical characteristics.

HHH is ready for a fight because JBL is on his way here to confront Batista. Ric Flair goes to tell Batista and HHH is upset because this is an insult to Evolution.

Announced for the Hall of Fame: Roddy Piper. He has to be there.

Randy Orton talks to Stacy Keibler and she calls him trouble. Stacy asks him if he’d like to do something after the show and Orton is down. These two have less chemistry than an English class.

Flair interrupts Batista flirting with Maria and doesn’t care about JBL showing up. That’s cool with Flair, who says if JBL becomes too big of a problem, Batista can just beat him at Wrestlemania. Batista hasn’t made his mind up yet but he will next week. As for tonight though, Batista wants HHH to stay out of it with JBL. He’s smart, looking intimidating and has a backbone. More reasons why he got over as much as he did.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Gene Snitsky

Benjamin is defending and kicks away to start, setting up the Stinger Splash in the corner. Snitsky kicks him down though and we hit the chinlock, which doesn’t last very long. A middle rope elbow misses Shelton and JR goes into a rant about Piper having the character to go into the Hall of Fame.

Shelton hits a great looking top rope clothesline for two as a fan holds up a Jay Mariotti Fears Woody Paige sign (ESPN fans might get that one). Snitsky’s pumphandle powerslam is broken up so he kicks Shelton in the face for two instead. That means some yelling at the referee, followed by a nasty chair shot to the head for the DQ.

Rating: D. Well it’s better than watching Shelton vs. Maven all over again. Benjamin is still one of the smoothest performers in wrestling and someone who can make anything he does look great. Snitsky is fine as a monster and just getting him away from Kane is a huge improvement. The rematch won’t be great but at least there’s a story to get us there.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are defending after having won the titles last week. Conway punches Regal to start and it’s quickly off to Grenier for a headlock. Since it’s just a headlock, Tajiri comes in for some kicks (which look good as always) to take over. Conway tries to come back in to draw Regal in as well, allowing a neckbreaker from behind to take Tajiri down. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Tajiri fights up and hits the handspring elbow. Regal comes back in and it’s forearms a go-go, plus the knee trembler to finish Conway and retain the titles in a hurry.

Rating: D+. They really need to get away from La Resistance now as they’ve been beaten so many times that the value is gone. I know that means they need to build up some new challengers and that isn’t their strong suit, but they need to do something fresh. Regal and Tajiri don’t feel like long term champions and Tajiri is just Eugene’s replacement, but there is no one who is taking the titles at the moment.

Randy Orton vs. Christian

They’re not wasting as much time with backstage stuff this week. Tyson Tomko is out with Christian, who shoves Orton to start and gets punched in the face. That means more right hands on the mat as Orton is keeping it simple here. A headlock keeps Christian in place and Orton does it again as they seem to have some time for this one. Christian gets back up and chokes in the corner but takes too much time slapping his chest, allowing Orton to punch some more.

Tomko’s distraction doesn’t work as Christian charges into another right hand but Christian finally gets a backdrop to the floor. That lets Tomko make up for his general ineptness with a whip into the steps as we take a break. Back with Tomko having been ejected and Christian (sporting a big welt on the side of his head) grabbing a chinlock. A dropkick and neckbreaker get two each and it’s the chinlock sequel. The reverse DDT gets two more so Christian steps on his head in frustration.

You don’t do that to someone so Orton whips him chest first into the buckle and they’re both down. Orton’s comeback is on with a dropkick and backdrop, plus a long series of forearms to the chest. The great looking high crossbody gets two but Christian dodges a charge to send him into the post. Christian goes for the buckle so here’s Tomko for a big boot to give him two. Orton’s backbreaker sets up a failed RKO attempt, so Orton leapfrogs over him and hits the RKO for the pin.

Rating: B. These two have always worked well together and Christian is getting something out of these matches. It’s the kind of push where he might not be winning but he’s establishing that he can hang with top stars. That and the still funny promos are going to make him a bigger star and the push is seemingly waiting in the wings.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone with Theodore Long, who he accuses of sending JBL here. That’s fine with Eric because Batista will deal with JBL just fine. Edge comes in to complain about everyone talking about Batista. Last week, Batista cost him the world Title and tonight Edge is going to beat him again. Then JBL can come in and beat Batista up so Batista will sign to face JBL at Wrestlemania. Bischoff thinks that’s unlikely but lets Edge go on. If Edge wins, he should get the World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Bischoff doesn’t say anything, as the logic isn’t strong with this one.

Video on the Japan tour.

Here’s Trish Stratus for a chat. Last week during the Divas fashion show, she realized that the new women are trying to steal her spotlight. It doesn’t matter if you’re Brittney Freaking Spears, no one is doing that to her. Trish wants Christy Hemme out here right now because the Women’s Champion wants to say something. Christy comes out with JR praising her personality. Lawler: “THAT’S WHAT YOU NOTICE ABOUT HER???”

Trish brings up a word that the fans used to chant at her, which starts up all over again because there is strong power of suggestion in wrestling. That word (s***) is Christy’s now because she has agreed to pose in Playboy. Christy is giggling with pride and thinks people will want to see the magazine. That doesn’t make the chant apply to her though. Sleeping with half the locker room like Trish does though. A big slap drops Christy as WWE’s inability to go a few months without a women’s storyline involving sex amazes me.

We look back at the end of last week’s show with Batista costing Edge the World Title match.

Kane vs. Simon Dean

Before the match, Simon nearly cries about how his career is probably about to end. Worry not though, because he will continue to produce the Simon System. If you don’t believe in him, he sentences you to a life of obesity! Kane is tired of listening and starts the stalking so Dean hides behind the referee. A glare at said referee allows Simon to throw powder in Kane’s eyes. Kane doesn’t mind and kicks him in the face as the pain is imminent. The chokeslam is loaded up but Kane stops for some pushups. Now the chokeslam can finish Dean in a hurry.

We look back at the videos from JBL and Big Show, which don’t please Batista.

Earlier today, Coach annoyed Shawn Michaels (who looks weird in a suit) about Kurt Angle bragging over what happened at the Royal Rumble. Shawn suggests Angle focus on his match at No Way Out, even though Shawn has some incredible talent of his own.

HHH asks Batista about JBL. Batista wants to handle it himself but HHH says this is about all of Evolution. Tonight, Batista can worry about Edge and HHH will deal with JBL. Batista leaves and HHH says he has his back.

Chris Masters is coming.

Batista vs. Edge

HHH is at ringside. Edge’s headlock is broken up by Batista just lifting him into the air and it’s time to hammer in the corner. They head outside with Edge grabbing an Edge O Matic on the floor for a rather sick thud. Back in and Edge chokes on the rope, followed by a neckbreaker for two.

We hit the cravate for a bit until Batista powers up with a World’s Strongest Slam. A shoulder looks to set up the spinebuster but Edge reverses into the Edgecution. The spinebuster cuts off the spear and the Batista Bomb connects….as JBL’s limo arrives. HHH comes in and shoves the referee down and that’s a rather abrupt DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was just there to protect both guys. That was about the only option they had other than Edge walking out so I can live with the lame DQ for a change. Batista and JBL isn’t likely to happen but it’s a box they need to check off before we can get to a bigger story.

Post match Flair waves Batista and HHH to the back with HHH saying this is about Evolution. Batista says it’s about him vs. JBL but here’s the limo to try and run Batista over. HHH shoves him out of the way as the limo drives off. Batista is ticked off and promises to go to Smackdown on his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The holding pattern continues and there is only so much that Orton vs. Christian could do to save the rest of the show. That being said, this is pretty definitively the last show before we get to the stuff that really matters. Wrestlemania is coming and it’s going to be all about Batista, which is exactly what the fans want. The contract signing next week is going to change everything and it’s time to get things moving. This show wasn’t good, but it’s not like that is going to matter beyond next Monday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – February 7, 2005 (2019 Redo): Puro WWE

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2005
Location: Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 16,657
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a first for the company as they are now heading over to Japan for a rare international Raw. It’s a stacked card too with the Tag Team Titles on the line, Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho in a submission match and Edge FINALLY getting his World Title shot against HHH. Given the way things are going, we might actually get some lengthy matches out of all three. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still featuring the Rock. How long has it been since he’s been in anything more than a cameo?

Here’s Eric Bischoff to get things going. Bischoff says he is the GM of Raw and one of the most powerful and respected men in wrestling. The translator explains it to the Japanese crowd, who are NOT happy with Bischoff. In addition to the previously announced matches, we’re getting Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair. We’ll get things going right now.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Submission match. Jericho goes nose to nose with him to start and it’s an aggressive lockup to start. They go outside without breaking the lockup and it’s more nose to nose. Back in and Benoit starts in on a hammerlock but has to break up a Walls attempt. Neither of them can get anywhere on the mat and that means another standoff. Jericho drops him ribs first over the top rope but the springboard dropkick is knocked out of the air.

An exchange of headbutts puts them both on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Benoit snapping off a suplex as Jericho is busted open. Jericho breaks up the rolling German suplexes and grabs an octopus hold of all things. That’s reversed as well though and now the rolling German suplexes connect. The third is countered into a half crab though as Jericho is opening up the submission playbook here.

Benoit escapes that but can’t get the Sharps, instead settling for more rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive hits Jericho’s back but Jericho is right back up with a clothesline. The Lionsault hits knees…which don’t work for some reason as Jericho lands on his feet and tries a Texas Cloverleaf. He has to stop to puts Benoit though and it’s the Crossface to make Jericho scream, though he makes the rope in time. Another Walls attempt is countered into something like a triangle choke into another Crossface on the other arm for the tap.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be awesome with the two of them in a hard hitting match in Japan. There’s something awesome about watching Benoit try for submissions (I could watch him snap people down into the Crossface for hours) as he has more intensity with them than anyone else. Jericho can hang with him in there for a bit but Benoit winning makes more sense here.

Post match they shake hands and Benoit gets to pose in the ring on his own for a bit.

Video on the trip to Japan and their time there so far.

Ric Flair had a great time in Roppongi last night and can’t wait for a great evening for Evolution. HHH has been thinking about Batista and maybe they should fight at Wrestlemania. Flair isn’t sure and likes the idea of HHH and Batista ruling the two shows (Flair: “And I’m part of the show too!”). HHH agrees and is going to talk to Batista.

Christian is talking to a Japanese reporter but stops to ask Stacy Keibler for a quote for the article. The interviewer is looking for Randy Orton, which gets a big reaction. Apparently Christian is very annoying. Christian mocks Orton’s posing and thinks he’s a chair shot away from ending his career. Stacy thinks Orton could beat Christian so Christian wants a match tonight. With Tomko that is.

Wrestlemania Braveheart trailer.

Maven wants to know why he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble. Since he wasn’t, he’ll win here instead.

Batista vs. Maven

Guess what happens. Thirty seconds.

Post match we get another video from Smackdown, with Big Show being ready to beat Batista at Wrestlemania after he wins the title at No Way Out. Batista isn’t pleased. I’m not sure why Batista looks so stunned when this interview aired on Smackdown last week. It’s not like it’s a hidden camera.

Post break Batista rants at Bischoff about the Smackdown footage so Bischoff promises to get to the bottom of it. First though, Bischoff needs to talk to him about Theodore Long’s Smackdown offer. Smackdown is second rate and Raw is in the palm of his hand. Batista seems interested by both ideas.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are challenging and the fans are WAY behind Tajiri, in case that wasn’t clear. Regal takes Conway down by the arm to start and it’s off to Tajiri for a baseball slide to the face. It’s back to Regal, who gets taken down by a quick suplex. A backdrop gets Regal out of a front facelock and it’s back to Tajiri for the hard kicks. An enziguri drops Grenier for two and the fans aren’t pleased. That means a double handspring elbow to take the champs down so Grenier grabs the flag. Tajiri kicks it away though and fires off some mist, setting up the Buzzsaw kick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t the point here as this was ALL about the home country pop for Tajiri and there’s nothing wrong with that. Regal and Tajiri have a history together so it’s not like this was even that far out of left field. It’s not like La Resistance has any value at the moment anyway. Not a good match (though it was far from terrible) but they did exactly what they were trying to do.

Post match Tajiri says something in Japanese and the new champs celebrate in the crowd.

Sumo champion Akebono is in the crowd.

Here are some of this year’s Hall of Fame inductees.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

You know Flair is getting the legend reaction here. Shawn’s is a bit louder but the fans are clapping instead of bowing. The fans respect them both but in different ways. Flair takes him into the corner and sneaks in an elbow as a villain should. The chops and right hands in the corner wake Shawn up enough to reverse for some chops of his own. A backdrop keeps Flair in trouble so he pokes the eye to take over. Shawn is right back with some right hands to set up the Flair Flop for two.

Flair gets smart and hits the chop block to take over, meaning it’s time for the standard leg work. The Figure Four goes on but is finally turned over, meaning Flair can kick at the leg some more. Shawn is fine enough to get two off a backslide as Lawler counts to two in Japanese. An enziguri drops Shawn and the fans are very appreciative of a tribute to Inoki. Flair kicks at the knee again and goes up, with the crowd instantly knowing what’s coming. The forearm into the nipup sets up the top rope elbow so Sweet Chin Music can finish clean.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but they finished as they should have. Both of them are legends in Japan so the fans were going to cheer anything they did out there. It was fine to play it safe with a basic match not try to do anything too big, as Shawn is gearing up for Kurt Angle and Flair is going to be there for HHH and Batista.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring for an American fashion show. Maria is out first to represent the wild, wild west (she’s wearing a cowboy hat and shooting finger guns), Victoria represents the open road as a biker (jacket over her usual gear), and Christy represents the beaches in a swimsuit. Lawler tries to go over some rules for the thing but it’s Simon Dean interrupting instead.

Simon calls this a waste of time and insults the crowd, drawing Akebono out of his chair. That goes nowhere as Simon calls the women overweight. Lawler stands up for them so Simon calls him Burger King. Christy gets in a low blow and Simon is done. Pretty close to a waste of time.

Evolution has a meeting in the back with HHH trying to talk Batista into going to Smackdown (Didn’t he want him on Raw about forty minutes ago?). Flair paints the picture and Batista will think about it as they stop Edge from winning the title tonight.

Edge isn’t happy with everyone talking about Batista when he finally has his title shot tonight. HHH has his Braveheart trailer for Wrestlemania where he talks about defending the title because Edge gets overlooked again.

Video on the trip to Japan.

Randy Orton vs. Tyson Tomko

Orton seems more popular here than in America. No Christian with Tomko in a bit of a surprise. A headlock takeover has Tomko down early on as Lawler blames Stacy for getting Orton into this. Back up and Tomko hits a powerslam as Christian drags Stacy out here. The distraction lets Tomko hit a big clothesline and it’s time to wonder about another concussion.

Tomko starts going after the head in slow motion but the backbreaker gets Orton out of trouble. Orton slugs away and hits a dropkick but bangs his head again. Back up and Tomko whips him into the corner, which is reversed into a rollup for a pretty fast pin. Oh and Stacy cheers to validate her existence.

Rating: D. I could go for Christian vs. Orton and this was an acceptable step to get there. That being said, it didn’t do much for Tomko, who is only there for the sake of being big and imposing while attacking some people between matches. It’s better to not have him in a match of his own as things don’t tend to go all that well.

Post match Christian and Tomko jump Orton with Christian hitting an Unprettier. Orton had to be helped out during the break. It’s so strange seeing concussions being used as a storyline these days.

We look back at Regal and Tajiri winning the Tag Team Titles.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Flair with him. They trade hammerlocks to start and now the fans are rather quiet, likely because they know how important a World Title match is. HHH bridges up into a backslide, albeit after a bit of a slip, for two but Edge grabs a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Edge hits a spear in the corner but a second attempt hits post, as tends to be the case.

We take a break and come back with Edge getting two off a backbreaker. A DDT on the arm gets HHH out of trouble and they’re both down. The facebuster gives HHH two and the spinebuster is good for the same. Edge backdrops his way out of the Pedigree but the spear is cut off by the running knee. A shot to the back takes HHH down though and a pretty weak Edgecator goes on. That stays on for a rather long time until HHH dives over for the rope.

Edge’s spear hits the referee as we get more into Evolution’s wheelhouse. There’s no count off a neckbreaker so Edge has to spear Flair down, knocking a chair out of his hands. HHH gets in a belly to back suplex to make Edge drop the chair and everyone is down again. They both crawl for the chair but here’s Batista to take it away. HHH knocks Edge off the apron, sending him into Batista by mistake. Back in and Edge hits the Impaler for yet another double knockdown. Batista comes in and spinebusters Edge, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They would have been better off with about two minutes of laying around cut out of this but Edge can continue to rant about not getting a fair shot so he’ll be fine. What matters most here is HHH needs Batista again, furthering Batista’s big moment which has to be coming in the next few weeks. Not a bad match, but it was more about the stories than anything else.

HHH holds up the title but Batista looks at both him and the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like a pay per view edition of Raw and it’s always nice to see something like that. They had some big matches with a cool moment in the title change, plus a pretty awesome opener. Once we get No Way Out finished up, it’s time to get things going to Wrestlemania. What matters here though is how much groundwork has been laid, because as soon as Batista gets his moment, everything is going to change for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – January 31, 2005: The Slow Moment After The Moment Before The Big Moment

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and that means the Batista train is pulling away. Batista won the Royal Rumble last night and that puts him on the path to Wrestlemania. The question though is…well ok it’s not really a question about which champion he’ll face but how will they get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. Flair talks about how HHH knows he’s the greatest no matter what anyone thinks. Shawn Michaels came around and people started saying that HHH was “arguably” the greatest that ever lived. After last night though, there is no doubt about who the greatest of all time really is. HHH says Orton wasn’t quite destined to be the greatest because HHH is destiny. He could talk about how great he is but everyone knows it already.

That wasn’t all that happened last night though because something special happened. It’s the kind of thing that people are going to talk about decades from now. Therefore, here is Batista, the winner of the Royal Rumble, rocking a suit. HHH brags about Batista winning the Rumble, throwing John Cena out three times just to make the point clear. He’s proud of Batista because this is what they talked about from the beginning.

At first Batista was a guy with muscles in a t-shirt but now he has Armani suits, a Rolex watch, a Mercedes-Benz and women. Greatness gravitates to greatness and he’s a product of HHH after all. At Wrestlemania, it will be HHH’s honor to defend the title against Batista. After a smile, Batista says he’s glad to hear what HHH thinks of him. Now, let’s hear what Batista thinks of HHH.

We cut to a JBL promo from last night with JBL saying Batista can come to Wrestlemania and take a beating from the champ. As good as Batista is, he is not in JBL’s league. HHH doesn’t like what JBL said and tells Foghorn Leghorn that all Batista would have to do to be WWE Champion is come face JBL. However, he is NOT going to Smackdown because they’re having their big match at Wrestlemania. Batista never got to say anything after JBL’s promo. The pieces continue to fall into place.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Simon Dean

Benjamin is defending. Dean hammers away to start as JR talks about him being a sponsor of the show. How you quickly transition from sponsor to title contender isn’t clear. Shelton fights back but Simon gets caught pulling something out of his bag. With the referee taking that away, Dean gets the bag up to block a Stinger Splash for two. Not that it matters as the Dragon Whip retains the title in a hurry.

Post match Simon says the only reason that happened was Shelton uses the Simon System. That earns him an exploder suplex to send him down to the lowest of the lower card for good.

HHH yells at Eric Bischoff about who put up that JBL clip. It turns into a threat, which Bischoff doesn’t like.

Wrestlemania Recall: Butterbean kills Bart Gunn’s career dead and knocks the Brawl For All into the vault for good.

Christy Hemme shoots off a t-shirt gun but here’s Edge to cut her off. Edge doesn’t like Christy playing dumb like this but it can’t be that hard for her. He wants to see what kind of shirts they are so Christy shows him that it’s a Wrestlemania XXI shirt. Edge rants about how he dominated the Royal Rumble by eliminating the most people and coming down to the final three, all after beating Shawn Michaels. Christy is panicking as Edge yells so violence is threatened.

Cue Shawn to make the save but he also wants to talk about Edge being embarrassed. What is embarrassing is saying that Edge beat him last night. Then Kurt Angle threw him out and busted him open, so yeah, Shawn has some pent up frustration. Therefore, he needs to let some of that out tonight in San Jose. Shawn already has a tag match tonight but he’s willing to work twice in one night twice in a row. Edge says no so Shawn superkicks him. That’s one way to shut someone up.

Maven vs. Hurricane

Hurricane shrugs off some kicks to the ribs and takes him down with a shoulder. A headscissors is countered into a side slam (not bad) and Maven stays on the back with a running forearm. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock but misses the Blockbuster. Maven finishes with the yet to be named Backstabber. Not very good, but it’s clear they’re done with Maven anyway.

Maria and Candice find Gene Snitsky in the women’s locker room….and he likes their shoes.

We look at Kane and Snitsky interfering in the Heidenreich vs. Undertaker casket match from last night.

Bischoff demands that Coach find out who played the JBL video. Theodore Long comes in and Bischoff accuses him of playing the tape to steal Batista from Raw. That’s exactly right but he had nothing to do with the tape. Long has already made a lucrative offer to Batista to face either JBL or Big Show. It sounds to him like Batista is Smackdown bound. Holla holla holla.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler have a forced flirty conversation about Orton’s tag match. Orton has to do it because this is what he does. From a kayfabe perspective, why is Stacy there? She hasn’t wrestled a regular match since October, she isn’t managing anyone and she just kind of hangs around the show. At least Christy comes out and does some official stuff occasionally.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending. Jericho elbows Conway in the face to start but it’s too early for the Walls attempt. Benoit comes in for a nice reaction and gets elbowed down, allowing Grenier to come in and stomp away. A Crossface attempt is broken up with a cheap shot and Grenier cranks on Benoit’s neck. That’s broken up and Benoit hits an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Jericho.

Grenier comes in as well and Jericho orders him to “COME ON FRENCHIE!” A bulldog takes Martin down but the Lionsault misses. Everything breaks down and Jericho tries the Walls on Grenier but has to switch to Conway to cut off a belt shot. Benoit and Conway fight to the floor as Jericho gets the Walls but Conway comes back in for the save. That’s enough for the double DQ and the fans are rather annoyed.

Rating: D. The Tag Team Titles are dying a horrible death here as the champs are lame ducks but don’t really have anyone else to drop the titles to. That left Jericho and Benoit fighting at half speed (at most) so they didn’t blow the champs away and that doesn’t help anyone. They need to find someone fresh for the titles soon because this is just sad.

Chris Master is coming. Maybe he can make a new vignette during this long delay.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for their usual complaining, though this time Hassan can complain about last night. That is proof of the discrimination so tonight he wants to fight any American.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter shoves a ranting Daivari down before the bell and gets the cobra clutch in a hurry. A Daivari distraction breaks that up and Slaughter gets sent chest first into the buckle. Hassan fires off some knees to the ribs but Slaughter is back with the right hands. That’s about it though as the Downward Spiral into the camel clutch finishes Slaughter. Sounds like a Slaughter tribute from Hassan. That might be all he has at the moment too, as Hassan is floundering. What do you expect though when you have him beating Lawler, Val Venis, Hurricane and Slaughter?

Jericho and Benoit fire each other up with Jericho saying he wants the best from Benoit.

We get a Wrestlemania XXI promo, featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. This was edited off of the Royal Rumble on the Network for some reason.

HHH seems worried when Ric Flair comes in. Maybe HHH wants to face Batista at Wrestlemania too much. Long has offered Batista a lot of money so why should HHH hold him back? If Batista won the WWE Title, they would run the entire industry.

Here’s Bischoff to announce that Raw is coming from Japan next week. Therefore, he has three special matches to announce: Benoit vs. Jericho in a submission match, William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and HHH vs. Edge for the World Title.

Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels vs. HHH/Ric Flair

Batista is here with Evolution. Orton slaps Flair in the face to start so Flair comes back with chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Shawn vs. HHH with Flair’s distraction not working very well as Shawn hammers away in the corner. That means an atomic drop but Shawn is fine enough to shove HHH off the top. An elbow (into the “controversial” heart of HHH) connects and everything breaks down with Batista grabbing a chair and beating on the steps with it. That’s enough for an ejection but the Batista sneakily smiles as we go to a break.

Back with Flair and Shawn trading chops in the corner until the Flair Flop gives Shawn two. A cheap shot from HHH puts Shawn back in trouble and the spinebuster gets two. Flair’s choking in the corner gives HHH the same and the abdominal stretch goes on. Shawn gets out and slams Flair off the top though and the hot tag brings Orton in to clean house.

Flair dives at Orton to save HHH and the referee gets bumped. That means an RKO to Flair but Orton seems to be concussed again, just as he was last night. HHH loads up the Pedigree but eats the superkick, only to have Edge come in for a spear….which hits HHH by mistake. Orton slowly crawls over and pins HHH.

Rating: C. There’s something amazing about how HHH is willing to let Orton have a pin after cutting his title run off at the knees a few months ago. Orton shouldn’t have won last night of course, but my goodness this comes off as funny in a way. They even set up next week’s title match a little bit more in the process. Not bad here and at least it didn’t feel like filler.

We look back at Kane and Snitsky flying off the stage earlier this month.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

In a cage and Snitsky gets a jobber entrance. They’re both still taped up from the aforementioned fall and both block a trip into the cage. A double shoulder gives us a double knockdown but it’s Snitsky up first to ram Kane back first into the cage. It’s way too early to get out though so Snitsky punches Kane down again. Cue Trish Stratus in a neck brace as Kane pulls Snitsky off the ropes.

Kane gets halfway out of the door but gets pulled back in as well. This time it’s a gordbuster to plant Snitsky with Kane going down as well. Snitsky goes face first into the cage and there’s the top rope clothesline to drop him again. Trish tries to slam the door on Kane’s head but Kane is smart enough (duh) to see it coming and drags Trish inside.

Snitsky grazes him with a big boot for the save and a two count though, allowing Trish to get out. That’s not enough though as Snitsky goes out to the steps but stops and rips the door off the cage. Kane kicks it into his face though and wedges it into the corner. A good crotching sets up the chokeslam to finish Snitsky, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Normally I would say “and that has to be it for this feud” but why should I believe that’s the case? They should have been done at New Year’s Revolution if not before and yet here we are. The match was terrible with both guys having chances to win and Trish adding nothing at all. This felt like a bad house show main event and I could go for more from the main event on the Raw after Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those weird periods where everyone knows what is coming to the letter but we have to wait until we actually get there. That being said, aside from the Batista stuff, there wasn’t much to brag about on this show other than the matches mostly not overstaying their welcome. Things will get better when we reach the big moment but until then, it’s not the most thrilling time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Monday Night Raw – January 24, 2005: Bad, But Because It Was Good

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 24, 2005
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before the Royal Rumble and since it’s Batista’s match to win, he has to qualify tonight. Other than that, we should get more not too bad promos from Randy Orton and HHH before their World Title match on Sunday, which will be a lot worse than the buildup. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Kane chokeslamming Gene Snitsky off the stage last week. The conversation they had on the ground is omitted.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs. Edge/Christian/Tyson Tomko

Well if you insist. Shawn headlocks Christian to start and an early Edge distraction doesn’t work. Benoit comes in and slides between Christian’s legs but it’s off to Tomko. That’s fine with Benoit, who takes him into the corner for the chops and a tag to Jericho. Tomko keeps shoving him out of the corner so Jericho drop toeholds him and starts a little dance. Must be a Canadian thing.

The threat of the Walls makes everything break down and Christian gets launched over the top and onto his partners as we take a break. Back with Benoit in trouble as tends to be the case when you come back from a commercial. Benoit gets over for the tag to Shawn, who is quickly low bridged out to the floor. Christian’s neckbreaker gets two and Tomko drops a fast elbow.

The chinlock goes on (with Christian’s back to the camera, which changes….well very little actually) but Shawn fights up and hits a Thesz press. It’s still too early for the hot tag though as Edge is more than willing to come in with Shawn down. Christian goes over to yell at Jericho, drawing him in so the referee can’t see a small package.

Shawn gets in a double clothesline and they’re both down. The hot tag brings in Benoit for a barrage of suplexes, including one to Edge onto Christian. The rolling German suplexes drop Christian and it’s the Swan Dive into the Sharpshooter. Edge breaks that up in a hurry but Shawn superkicks Tomko into a rollup to give Benoit the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with the right person taking the fall. We even got a few tastes of Edge vs. Shawn before their big match on Sunday for a nice bonus. The rest of the people don’t exactly matter as they’ll be in the Rumble, so this was almost all bonus stuff and it went quite well.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for a chat. Jerry: “Wouldn’t you like to be her thigh master?” Apparently the Governor has declared today Jim Ross Day in Oklahoma and here’s Danny Hodge, who at 72 years old is able to jump over the top, to help celebrate it. We see a clip of the Jim Ross Day event, which really is a cool honor. Back in the arena, Stacy even throws in a kiss on the cheek. JR talks about how much he loves being from Oklahoma and how much he wishes his parents could be here, but he knows they’re watching.

Cue HHH and Ric Flair to interrupt though and I don’t see this ending well. HHH says this would bring a tear to a glass eye because Oklahoma is celebrating JR Day. HHH: “Are you guys that big a losers that you have nothing going on but JIM ROSS?” Flair talks about the Oklahoma Sooners getting crushed against USC earlier in the month and HHH busts out laughing.

HHH sends JR and Hodge packing, thankfully before Hodge can take him down and remove a variety of his limbs. Stacy gets to stay though as HHH grabs her wrist and hits on her. JR actually stands up to HHH because that’s what a man does. This might be a bit better of a John Wayne moment if he didn’t have lipstick on his cheek. HHH says if JR doesn’t leave, he’ll be sooner dead.

Flair hits him low so Hodge decks HHH in the jaw, setting up a double beatdown. Stacy gets dragged back to the middle of the ring because HHH wants a kiss. Actually he has a better idea and loads up a Pedigree, drawing out Randy Orton for the save. Thanks for coming when the announcer and 72 year old man were getting beaten down Randy. I just want to see more Danny Hodge looking awesome.

Post break HHH and Flair are in the back with HHH pulling up Candice Michelle’s skirt. They head into their locker room and find Batista, who didn’t see what just happened. HHH recaps everything but Batista doesn’t exactly seem impressed, mainly because Hodge is seventy years old and Keibler is tiny. Flair: “She loved it.” Batista changes the subject and says he’s getting in on that Royal Rumble qualifying match. HHH isn’t happy but Batista says that maybe HHH loses to Orton on Sunday. Then Batista can take it back at Wrestlemania and keep it in Evolution. Flair’s side eye glare at Batista is rather great here.

Post another break, William Regal comes in to see Eric Bischoff about a Royal Rumble spot. That’s not happening because Regal was a jerk last year about Eugene. Coach can have it instead. La Resistance comes in but so does Batista. For some reason La Resistance challenges Batista for the Rumble spot, apparently not being all that bright. Batista doesn’t think much of them and promises to stick the flag somewhere else.

Coach is in the ring and has a change made to the following Royal Rumble qualifying match. Now it’s an Over the Top Rope Challenge.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Viscera vs. Tajiri

Viscera shrugs off the mist and some kicks before throwing Tajiri out to win in less than thirty seconds.

We recap Kane chokeslamming Trish Stratus last week and the ensuing chokeslam off the stage to Gene Snitsky.

Tajiri is upset that he didn’t qualify for the Royal Rumble but Regal comes in with an idea about getting back at Bischoff. First though, Regal hits on Maria but gets shot down in a funny bit.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Batista vs. La Resistance

La Resistance doesn’t have to tag here so Batista breaks up the song. House is cleaned in a hurry but Batista misses a charge into the post. The fans get WAY behind Batista as he gets stomped down but Conway makes the mistake of slapping him in the face. That means a powerslam as HHH and Flair look on in fear. Grenier gets spinebustered onto Conway for the pin in a hurry. And that’s why the Tag Team Titles are worthless.

Post match Batista plant the flag between the two of them. Flair is impressed but HHH isn’t pleased. The official face turn is going to be massive.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Val Venis vs. Muhammad Hassan

Daivari rants at Venis during his entrance and Hassan gets in a cheap shot to take over from behind. That sets up the variety of kicking and stomping as Daivari continues to rant on the microphone. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock, with Daivari wanting Venis’ neck broken. Hassan gets in a slam to keep Venis down and it’s back to the chinlock with a knee in the back. Venis fights up and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but misses the Money Shot. The Downward Spiral gives Hassan the easy pin.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah Hassan is in trouble and there’s not much of a way around it. This was as lame of a match as you could get with Hassan having no heat and Daivari just being annoying in an attempt to get him some. It didn’t help that Hassan’s offense is as generic as you can get and the fans were falling asleep in less than five minutes.

HHH tells Batista that the final spot in the Royal Rumble is going to Ric Flair, though Flair isn’t sure about this one. HHH talks him into it though, saying Evolution is united.

Maven is in the ring and wants someone to put their Royal Rumble spot on the line.

Kane vs. Maven

Maven: “I DIDN’T MEAN YOU!” Hang on though as Kane is too banged up so Maven won’t do this to him. He issues the challenge again.

Maven vs. Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

The monsters are both heavily bandaged and Maven has to win to get in the Rumble. Maven is smart enough to let the two of them hit each other and then steals two on Snitsky. Kane clotheslines Snitsky down so Maven goes after Kane’s bad arm. That goes as well as you would expect as Kane shoves Maven away and hits the chokeslam to finish Snitsky. This was nothing.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

Recap of Steve Austin’s press conference, which was about him making movies for WWE Films.

Royal Rumble rundown, featuring both sets of commentators listing off matches.

Edge can’t wait for Sunday because he’s sat out the last two Wrestlemanias with a broken neck. Sunday, it’s time for him to beat Shawn Michaels and then win the Royal Rumble.

Chris Masters is still coming.

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Batista and HHH are here with Flair. It’s an energetic start for Flair as he runs Orton over with a shoulder. A poke to the eye and a chop have Orton in more trouble, meaning it’s time for the chops in the corner. Orton is right back with a backdrop and the fans….don’t really seem to care. Flair gets away and heads up top for exactly what you would expect to happen.

With nothing else working, HHH trips Orton but Batista gets ejected for it instead. Batista glares down at HHH, who can’t look him in the eye. We take a break and come back with Flair still in trouble and being knocked out to the floor. A suplex brings him back inside for two but HHH offers a distraction so Flair can get in a low blow (a common move for him tonight).

Flair hammers away at Orton’s bandaged head to bust him open again. The throat gets catapulted into the bottom rope but Orton gets fired up. The right hands and chops have no effect so Orton knocks him into the corner. HHH offers another distraction though and it’s a chop block to slow Orton down again.

The ref gets bumped though, allowing HHH to come in with a belt shot to the knee. Given how unimportant this match is, what took him so long? The Figure Four goes on and the blood is flowing until Orton turns it over. HHH pulls the referee out and it’s time to really work on the leg. A middle rope belt shot to the knee is blocked with a raised boot and it’s the RKO for the pin. The match hadn’t been thrown out yet?

Rating: D+. Not terrible but Orton couldn’t be more of a lame duck going into Sunday if his life depended on it. The fans have moved on and while that isn’t Orton’s fault (given how bad the last few months have gone for him, it’s completely expected), it’s also not a surprise whatsoever. Why in the world would I care about Orton’s title push when Batista is clearly the next big thing?

Overall Rating: D. Speaking of lame ducks, that’s exactly what this show was due to how well WWE has built up Batista. Aside from John Cena, there is no one with any chance of winning the Royal Rumble and sitting through a bunch of qualifying matches so we can see them have no chance on Sunday wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. That being said, the build for Batista is one of the most underrated in years as they have hit it to perfection on every point. Getting through Sunday will help, but it wasn’t the easiest show to get through on the way there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 17, 2005: Bizarro Land And Face Turns Without The Face Turns

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 17, 2005
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The focus is on Canada this week with Chris Benoit facing Chris Jericho in a challenge match. Other than that, the big story is likely to be the continuing issues between HHH and Batista, the latter of whom is starting to rebel against his boss. This seems to be leading to the Royal Rumble, where Randy Orton is getting a World Title shot after beating Batista last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Orton beating Batista, though not before planing some seeds in Batista’s mind about HHH using him.

Opening sequence.

We open with the Highlight Reel and you know the fans are going to love Jericho here. Before we get to the guest though, Jericho brings up that he won a match last night and is officially in the Royal Rumble. See how much easier that is than having us sit through a match that had an obvious ending? Jericho has something else to say but here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari to interrupt.

Jericho rants about how they came out before their introduction so Hassan rants about being forgotten. We get a proper introduction (with Jericho being called a creepy little sidekick) before Jericho mocks Hassan for being so serious all the time. Shouldn’t he be happier that we’re in Canada tonight? Hassan says Jericho is right as he’s felt a connection to Canada. See, in the US, Canadians are viewed as second class citizens.

They deserve it though because the REAL terrorists gained access to America through Canada. That’s why everyone here booing him is a hypocrite. See, Canadians are afraid to show their true feelings because they can’t back it up in a confrontation. Jericho tells him to shut the h*** up so Daivari rants at him for a bit.

Jericho has been studying though and offers a translation: Fozzy’s All That Remains comes out tomorrow and Daivari wants an autographed CD! Well he didn’t say please so that’s not happening. Hassan keeps ranting and the fight is on with Jericho putting on the Walls. Daivari breaks it up though and it’s a double beatdown until Chris Benoit comes inf or the save.

HHH and Ric Flair arrive with Ric insisting that everything is cool with Batista. They didn’t actually talk, but Flair has a feeling about it. HHH isn’t impressed.

La Resistance/Maven vs. Shelton Benjamin/Rosey/Hurricane

La Resistance are Tag Team Champions again, having won the titles in a handicap last night over William Regal. Fair enough as they didn’t have many other options with Eugene being out for months. Benjamin and Conway slug it out to start and Maven’s interference is scared off by a single glare.

Hurricane comes in for WHATUPWITHDAT and a thumb to the eye. A cheap shot from Maven lets Grenier throw Hurricane to the floor, followed by the chinlock back inside. That’s broken up with an atomic drop and it’s off to Rosey as the fans don’t seem interested. Rosey sits on Conway’s chest for two with Shelton making the save. Everything breaks down and Au Revoir finishes Rosey.

Rating: D. Just a match here with La Resistance getting their footing back after a quick title win. It’s not like they have anyone to feud with at the moment so this was about as good as they were going to get. Maven is much, much better suited in this role and while he isn’t going to win anything, it’s better than watching him take up a spot he’s not ready to be in.

Stacy Keibler wishes Randy Orton luck tonight and kisses him on the cheek. Orton doesn’t seem to mind.

Steve Austin is having a press conference on Wednesday.

Here’s Orton for a chat. This is a special place for Orton as he won the World Title right here back at Summerslam. Orton cried that night because no one thought he could pull this off. Then the next night, HHH ruined everything by throwing him out of Evolution. Now Orton wants it all back and he’s coming for it all at the Royal Rumble.

This brings out HHH, who says he’s heard this from Orton before. HHH is going to make him suffer because HHH is the greatest wrestler alive today. We hear all the names that HHH has beaten before but Orton says he’s heard this before. He had to hear every day when he was in Evolution, from the car to the gym to the hotel.

HHH says he’s sick of saying it but he has to do it because some young punk kid like him keeps coming out here and trying to take his spot. The fight is teased but HHH says it’s his time. Dang I miss that song. Orton charges up the ramp and the fight is on, with Flair coming out to help. That doesn’t go well as Orton beats up both of them, albeit with the help of a chair. This still isn’t interesting, but points for calling out HHH for his interviews being repetitive.

Post break HHH is livid and bubbly Maria comes up to ask him a question. He shouts her down and storms into his locker room where Batista is waiting. You can see HHH’s mood change because he knows Batista is a big problem if handled wrong. Batista is ok with what happened last week and HHH calms down a bit. Right now though, Batista needs to talk to Eric Bischoff about something.

HHH offers to go get whatever Batista wants, but Batista is talking about getting in the Royal Rumble and getting a shot at the title. HHH: “….my….my World Title?” I watched this story as it airs but watching it back, it deserves WAY more credit than it receives. They’re hitting every point to near perfection and I’m digging it.

Shawn Michaels talks about how he’s tried to apologize to Canada but for now, he’s focused on the Royal Rumble. See, if he wins tonight and wins the World Title, Edge can’t be champion. Bischoff comes up and goes over Shawn’s Royal Rumble history, including winning in 1996 to take the title from Bret Hart. Based on that history, Shawn is in, but he gets to fight Christian tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

Christian, with Tyson Tomko, gets the big hometown hero pop. Before Shawn comes out, we look at his rather good brawl with Edge last week. Edge comes out and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with both guys getting up for the slugout. A backdrop sends Christian to the floor as the fans just do not let up on Shawn. Edge offers a distraction so Tomko can get in a cheap shot and the Canadians rejoice.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by a backbreaker to keep it on. Shawn fights up and gets in a Thesz press as the fans continue their anti-Shawn tradition. Edge tries to come in with a spear but misses, allowing Shawn to drop the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Unprettier attempt which is countered into Sweet chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a match here as Christian isn’t big enough to give Shawn a real threat. What matters here is letting Edge get out there to mess with Shawn a bit because Edge does feel like he could give Shawn trouble. This was perfectly watchable though and that’s better than a lot of what we get on Raw.

Post match Edge hits the spear and puts on the Edgecator, making him look like a bigger star than he has been in years.

Batista vs. Viscera

Big pop for Batista. Viscera powers him around to start but Batista gets in some shoulders in the corner. A middle rope forearm to the back has Viscera in trouble but he’s right back with a Samoan drop. The big elbow gets two as Flair and HHH are watching in the back. Batista is right back with a spinebuster for the pin. This was a total face performance from Batista and there’s no other way to present him at this point. It’s a perfect rise to the top of the card and it’s been a lot of fun to watch.

Batista comes back in to see HHH and Flair. Next week, he can have a Royal Rumble qualifying match, if he wants it. HHH says “Uhhh…..” as Flair shakes his head no. See, Evolution should have one focus at the Royal Rumble and it should be Randy Orton. It would be a little selfish for Batista to enter the match because it could lead to Batista wanting a title shot. That would make it all about Batista and not Evolution because he would sound like Orton. Batista agrees because no one likes a selfish, self-centered egomaniac. The stare at HHH as he said that wasn’t exactly hidden.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

The fans aren’t sure what to do here as they start with some grappling on the mat. The standoff gets some polite applause and Benoit takes him down into an armbar. Jericho reverses into one of his own but Benoit starts rolling some German suplexes. A cross armbreaker is broken up and another standoff takes us to a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock and catching Benoit on top with a butterfly superplex. Some near falls ensue before Benoit suplexes him to the floor, only to fall outside with him. Back in and a very hard clothesline gives Benoit two as the fans are getting quiet again. The rolling German suplexes have Jericho rocked but the Swan Dive misses. Jericho can’t follow up so Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but gets small packaged for the pin.

Rating: C+. The crowd hurt things a good bit here as they didn’t want to boo either of them but cheering would mean a knock on the other guy so they sat there quietly for the most part. The wrestling was good stuff of course, but they never cranked it up as these two know how to do. With no issue though, why would they do that?

We recap Gene Snitsky vs. Kane, which is happening again tonight because reasons.

Chris Masters is coming.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Here’s Trish Stratus to another hometown pop for a chat. Trish runs down America for mocking her so often but that’s beside the point. She’s not here to say she told us so, but she told us she would take the title back from Lita, which she did. Trish destroyed Lita’s knee and she’s going to be out for a long, long time. But don’t worry, because there is a locker room full of men who would be more than happy to impregnate Lita. Cue Kane to chase Trish off but he throws her back inside. Kane lets go of the chokeslam though and smiles….before chokeslamming her anyway.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No holds barred. They slug it out on the floor with Kane charging into a big boot. The clothesline off the barricade drops Snitsky though and they go inside for the first time. The threat of a chokeslam sends Snitsky right back to the floor and he gets in a bell shot to take over. It’s time for a weightlifting belt (which just happened to be underneath the ring) and the whipping is on. The fans would rather do the Wave though Kane’s comeback seems to get their attention.

A chair is brought in but Snitsky knocks it out of his hands. The GO LEAFS GO chant starts up as Snitsky wraps the chair around Kane’s throat. Kane gets up and chairs Snitsky off the middle rope though and it’s time for another whipping. They fight up to the stage with Snitsky going into the steel. Snitsky misses the big right hand and gets chokeslammed off the stage with Kane going with him through the table. That’s good for a no contest of course.

Rating: D+. The fans’ reaction isn’t a good sign here as there’s no interest left in this feud. Kane defeated him cleanly at the pay per view so why should it keep going? He has his revenge and Snitsky lost his appeal as soon as someone beat him for the first time. This didn’t need to happen and the fans didn’t care, which tells you a lot about where these two are.

Post match everyone checks on the two of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Batista is carrying this show right now, but you don’t need to do anything else going into the Rumble. There are some other good things going on at the moment so it’s not a bad show, but there are parts of it that are better than others. Just getting Batista right is all that matters, and it’s working very well right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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New Year’s Revolution 2005 (2019 Redo): Two Thirds Of A Mess Is Mostly Messy

IMG Credit: WWE

New Year’s Revolution 2005
Date: January 9, 2005
Location: Coliseo de Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 15,764
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back on pay per view to start the new year and it’s a one match show. This time around that’s the Elimination Chamber for the vacant World Title with Shawn Michaels as guest referee to annoy everyone. Other than that…there is nothing on this show worth anything whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts by talking about how awesome Puerto Rico is but bleeds into a video on the horrors of the Chamber. It’s a simple idea but what else are they supposed to talk about here?

Tag Team Titles: Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/William Regal

Regal and Eugene are defending. Eugene now has a Hulk Hogan inspired bandanna and shirt, making him just a bit more awesome. Regal works on Christian’s arm to start but Christian takes him down with a wristdrag. Some shoulders give Regal two and the basics continue with a hiptoss, allowing the tag off to Eugene. That means Christian’s tights are pulled up rather far and Eugene dances a bit.

Eugene leapfrogs over him and gets on all fours for the headbutts and raising of a leg. Tomko comes in so Eugene bails to the floor to high five some fans. The villains give chase but Eugene sneaks underneath the ring and rams Christian into Tomko for a bit of fun. We settle down to Tomko taking over on Eugene, including some elbows to the face in the corner.

Christian comes in for some shots to the head but it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback includes a backdrop (not exactly a Hogan specialty) and a tag to Regal, who fires off some dropkicks of all things. Tomko takes him down again though and some elbow drops get two. We hit the chinlock as Regal’s nose is already busted. It’s back to Tomko for some choking as the fans tell him that he sucks. A cheap shot from Christian cuts off Regal’s comeback attempt and it’s off to a front facelock.

Regal starts heading over for the tag but Christian pulls Eugene down, meaning there’s no one to tag. For some reason Eugene doesn’t move two feet forward to tag Regal when he makes the corner and it’s Tomko pulling Regal back into the corner. A missed charge lets Regal make the tag though and the comeback is on. Eugene forearms Tomko down and hits a dropkick….but comes up clutching his knee. It’s clearly bad and the match grinds to a halt as Christian and Tomko are afraid to touch Eugene. Regal takes Christian to the floor and Eugene gets a very messy rollup (fair enough) to retain.

Rating: C-. It was mostly a comedy match in the first place and then the knee injury messed up whatever the ending was supposed to be. That’s certainly not on them though as there isn’t much you can do when one of your wrestlers knees goes out like that. Eugene won’t be back in the ring for about six months.

The doctors come in to check on Eugene and Regal is right there with him.

Here’s a shot of Christy walking around the pool for the most obvious reasons in the world.

Christian and Tomko run into Edge, who has an idea for later in the night. Christian isn’t happy with Edge and sends Tomko after him but Edge says he can make Christian World Champion. Now Christian is intrigued and they’ll be talking some more.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita, which has been going on for months now. Lita took the Women’s Title from Trish in a very good match about a month ago and now it’s time for the rematch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Lita is defending. Feeling out process to start with Lita tripping her down and Trish bailing to the ropes. Lita knocks her to the floor and tries a Thesz press, wrecking her own knee in the process. Back in and Trish hammers away on the mostly immobile Lita, followed by some kicks to the injured leg. Lita tries some right hands but can’t stand up. She tries the DDT but falls down again, setting up the Chick Kick to make Trish champion again. I’m not going to rate this as Lita couldn’t move for most of the match. She tore her ACL on that Thesz press and wouldn’t wrestle again for over a year.

Maria is by the pool as well for the same reason as Christy.

Edge tries to give Christian his spot in the Elimination Chamber because he can’t get a fair shot tonight. See, Christian can have the spot and whoever wins can face Edge for the title tomorrow night on Raw. Eric Bischoff: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” It’s not happening so Edge leaves in a huff and runs into Shawn, who says he’ll call it right down the line. Unless he’s provoked of course because then he’d retaliate. He’s looking forward to counting Edge out tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Maven is challenging and hides in the ropes early on. He does it again for a bonus and the fans insult him in Spanish, sending Maven outside for a breather. The fans tell him that he’s awful so Maven gets back on the apron….and then drops down again. Maven doesn’t want the count started yet because he has something to say. He even gets up on a chair to talk about how he’s not sure how many people here speak English. Therefore, he’ll talk very slow so people can understand him.

Maven yells at a fan that he doesn’t know what he’s saying. See, he can’t concentrate if the fans keep yelling at him like this, meaning he can’t win the Intercontinental Title. Maven goes with some Spanish to tell the fans to shut their mouths. Shelton goes after him but Maven says that’s enough and walks out. He changes his mind at nine and dives back in….where Shelton rolls him up for the pin. The match was about six minutes total and Maven spent four and a half of that on the floor.

Rating: F. I get how this could be a nice way to get the fans going and then give them something to cheer for, but after what else has happened on this show, that couldn’t have come at a worse time. We haven’t had a full match without someone getting severely hurt yet and now they do a promo instead of a match? It could have been a good idea at a house show, but how much did fans pay to watch a promo from MAVEN?

Post match Maven says that didn’t count and wants a rematch. He says Shelton is the second Women’s Champion so let’s do this again.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Shelton is defending and the exploder retains the title in five seconds.

Candice Michelle rubs suntan lotion on Christy’s back. These things are about fifteen seconds long so at least they’re not wasting too much time with them.

We look at the debate from Raw with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari beating up JR and Lawler.

Hassan and Daivari say that was biased footage that didn’t show Lawler insulting him before the fight. Oh and Puerto Rico isn’t even good enough to be a state. They were detained in the airport last night for three hours and their hotel reservations were “mysteriously” lost. Tonight, he’s going to show that just because you’re treated like a second class citizen doesn’t mean that you are one.

Jerry Lawler vs. Muhammad Hassan

JR is in King’s corner so there’s no commentary for this. Hassan slams him to start but Lawler does it right back to him as the feeling out continues. Three more slams put Lawler down again and it’s time for a breather. Back in and Lawler punches him to the floor, where Hassan gets in an argument with JR. That just means more right hands but Hassan takes over again back inside.

Hassan starts in on the shoulder with JR imploring King to kick out. The camel clutch continues the stereotypical checklist as the fans are dying here. More basic offense, including a kick to the head and a suplex, get two and it’s off to the chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two more and Daivari is losing his mind on these kickouts.

The BORING chants begin (and rightfully so) and Lawler gets fired up, meaning it’s time to take down the strap. The dropkick sets up the middle rope fist drop for two, followed by a DDT for the same. Daivari put the foot on the rope so it’s time for the showdown with JR. That’s enough of a distraction for Hassan to hit a Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: F. I’m not sure I can think of a good thing to say about this one. Hassan is supposed to be the big new heel and needs help beating Jerry Lawler in his debut? On top of that, the match wasn’t even remotely good with Hassan using the most standard offense you can imagine. This was horrible and Hassan looks to be in trouble early.

Batista promises to be a wrecking machine in the Chamber when Randy Orton comes in. Orton calls Batista a stooge and says HHH only cares about the two of them as long as they’re helping protect the title. He’s been in there before and helped HHH retain. Look where that got Orton in the end. Batista threatens him but says he’s coming for the title.

Coach takes King’s place on commentary for the time being.

We recap Gene Snitsky vs. Kane. Snitsky caused Lita and Kane to lose their baby and then crushed Kane’s throat. Since then, Snitsky has….well pretty much just existed. Now Kane is back for revenge in a story that wasn’t that great in the first place.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

JR busts out the Bowling Shoe Ugly line before the opening bell, because after everything else, this match warrants a warning. Kane runs him over to start and drops the jumping leg, followed by some standard choking. A powerslam gets two but Snitsky gets in a sidewalk slam and a clothesline of his own.

It’s time to head outside and peel back the ring mats, which can never end well. Snitsky’s powerbomb is countered into a backdrop, though he’s fine enough to kick Kane out of the air back inside. Kane’s back is bent around the post and Snitsky slams him….so Kane sits up. He does it a second and third time as Snitsky doesn’t seem to learn.

The head back outside with Snitsky grabbing a chair but getting kicked in the face. Back in and Kane hammers away in the corner, setting up a sidewalk slam. The top rope clothesline connects this time around but a hot shot cuts Kane off. The chokeslam is broken up and Snitsky bites the ear. Kane sits up again and this time it’s the Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. This is rapidly approaching an all time terrible show with another with another bad match. These two have fought as many times as you can now and there isn’t anything left for the feud. Kane wins and Snitsky….well he’s probably done in this role, thereby wasting what was a pretty good build. This show has been completely awful so far and seeing these two have a pretty bad power match didn’t help things.

Ad for the Rise and Fall of ECW. I need to watch that again.

Stacy Keibler is now by the pool and let’s look at pretty much everything from earlier again. Then Simon Dean showed up and showed someone into the pool, where the Divas and Val Venis messed around. A chicken fight broke out and Christy untied Maria’s top to win. Oh Christy is so wacky and fun.

We recap the World Title being decided in the Elimination Chamber. So HHH lost the title in a triple threat but since the bosses can’t make their mind up, we’re getting the Chamber to crown HHH as the champion again. Like it’s going to be anyone else, even with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee.

The Chamber is lowered.

HHH is with Batista in the back and they agree to take care of each other. Unless HHH is out before Batista gets in that is. If that’s the case, Batista is coming for the title.

Eric Bischoff comes out and explains the Chamber.

Lilian Garcia explains the Chamber.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. Batista, Chris Benoit

Inside the Chamber, the title is vacant coming in, Batista is coming in last due to winning the Beat The Clock Challenge and Shawn Michaels is guest referee. It’s Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho to start things off. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat with Jericho getting a headlock. Benoit comes back with the skin ripping chops in the corner but Jericho is right back with some of his own. The first German suplex rocks Jericho so he elbows his way out of the second.

That means he has to elbow out of a Crossface attempt instead and the bulldog gets two on Benoit. A top rope superplex puts Jericho down but Benoit can’t follow up as HHH is in third. HHH starts in with the knees, followed by a clothesline to take Jericho down. It’s time to go outside with the steel floor, but first Benoit needs to go into the Chamber wall. That’s good for some blood so HHH punches away at the cut. Another ram into the cage gets two but Jericho breaks up the Pedigree.

A backdrop sends HHH into the steel and you know JR can call that one with some relish. The bulldog gets two on HHH but Benoit is back up go hit a neckbreaker on Jericho. The fans count us down (in Spanish) until it’s Edge in fourth. That means a series of spears in the corner and the Edgecution for two on HHH. Jericho sends Edge over the top but gets catapulted into the wall. It works so well that HHH gets catapulted as well to put both of them down outside.

Edge’s top rope clothesline hits Benoit, who can’t get the Crossface. Jericho’s, who is busted as well, running enziguri drops Edge for two as the announcers mention Shawn, who has done absolutely nothing so far. HHH, also bleeding, comes in for the spinebuster and Pedigree to Jericho as everyone is down. As luck would have it, Orton is in fifth with a high crossbody on HHH. They head out with HHH going into the wall again, followed by an RKO to Jericho. Orton tries one on Benoit but gets pulled into the Crossface, with Benoit on one knee for some reason.

HHH talks trash while the hold is on so Benoit legs go of Orton and grabs the Sharpshooter. That earns him an RKO from Orton but instead of a cover, we get Edge spearing Shawn by mistake. There’s a spear to Orton but there’s no referee. Edge slaps Shawn so it’s Sweet Chin Music, setting up the Lionsault for the first elimination.

With HHH down, Benoit goes all the way up to the top of the pod for the Swan Dive. There’s still no cover though as Jericho slaps on the Walls with Benoit adding the Crossface on HHH at the same time. Somehow THAT isn’t enough to beat HHH as Batista comes in sixth to complete the field and make the save. The fans are very pleased as Batista wrecks people, leaving HHH (who is somehow alive) alone for the staredown.

The other three break that up so Batista clotheslines Orton and Benoit at the same time. That’s not fair to Jericho, who gets gorilla pressed onto a cameraman for the always fun visual. Benoit chop blocks Batista to save Orton from a choke and it’s time to stomp on Batista in the corner. The mostly dead cameraman is helped out of the Chamber and Jericho bulldogs HHH onto the steel. Batista goes in as well and everyone is down again. It’s Batista up first with a spinebuster on Benoit, followed by a spinebuster on Jericho onto Benoit to get rid of the latter and get us down to four.

A powerslam and Batista Bomb get rid of Jericho and it’s down to three. Everyone winds up outside of the ring with Orton being catapulted into the Chamber wall to make everyone bloody. Batista and HHH start double teaming Orton with Batista not looking all that pleased with the boss.

A powerslam gets two on Orton, followed by the hard clothesline for the same. HHH and Batista yell at Shawn, allowing Orton to come back with right hands and kicks to the ribs. A low blow drops Batista and the RKO gets rid of him with HHH letting the pin go down. The RKO hits HHH but Flair comes in, allowing Batista to blast Orton with the clothesline. HHH hits the Pedigree to get the title back.

Rating: B. It’s long, it’s rather good and while annoying, you knew where they were going with the finish. What matters most here though is Batista, who looks like he’s ready to be unleashed at any time. That’s exactly the point of this match and it worked very well in that regard. It felt like an epic fight to get to the win, though HHH winning again is a necessary evil to get through for the time being.

HHH has Batista put him on his shoulders and we get the thumbs up but no turn to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of the weirder shows I can remember in a long time. The main event is very good and came close to saving the show, the rest of the night was a disaster. The Women’s Title match can be completely written off and the Tag Team Title match was watchable enough until the ending.

Then there’s the middle of the show, which saw everything fall apart. The Intercontinental Title match can really only be written off by an injury (I’d certainly hope so), Hassan’s match was horribly done and Kane vs. Snitsky just wasn’t very good. That leaves you with the main event, but still it’s not enough to make up for the hour and forty five minutes of awful before then. A lot of this wasn’t their fault, but the middle three matches were so bad that there isn’t much of a way around them. Rather bad show, though the main event is worth a glance if you haven’t seen it in awhile.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – January 3, 2005: Happy New Year Of Big Dave

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 3, 2005
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first show of a new year and also the go home show for New Year’s Revolution. That doesn’t leave us very long to finalize everything but since so much of the card is tied up in the Elimination Chamber, you can probably guess where things are going this week. Other than that, we probably need some more matches to be added to the card at the last minute. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Beat The Clock Challenge which saw Batista earn the right to enter the Chamber last. Oh and Shawn Michaels is going to be guest referee.

Eric Bischoff is in the back with the World Title and makes tonight very simple: three singles matches between the six Chamber participants. Nothing wrong with that, mainly because it’s once.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Batista goes with the power to start so Benoit gets in a dragon screw legwhip to take him down. A backbreaker cuts Benoit off but Batista goes for a turnbuckle pad, allowing Benoit to roll some German suplexes. Batista catches him on top and hits a Muscle buster of all things for a delayed two. The half crab with a knee on Benoit’s head has him in more trouble and Batista even picks up Benoit’s hand to make him tap.

The spinebuster gives Batista two more but Benoit scores with an enziguri, followed by the hard German suplex. Benoit hits the Swan Dive (or at least seems to after a quick camera cut) for two more and the Crossface goes on, though Benoit is almost on top of Batista’s back instead of off to the side. Batista powers up without much effort and drives Benoit head first (several times) into the exposed buckle. Now it’s time to get fired up and the Batista Bomb finishes.

Rating: C+. It’s so frustrating watching WWE stumble through the dark as they try to get monsters (or anyone) over these days when it’s this easy. Batista has been protected for months, says things that makes him look smart and then wins big matches. If they have the talent and intelligence to do the rest, which Batista did because he was well trained down in OVW, you’ll have a star on your hands.

Ric Flair is very pleased with what happened when Batista comes in. Flair says all they have to do is have HHH survive until the end when Batista can destroy everyone so HHH can get the title back. Batista says HHH can count on him, but he wants the $100 from last week’s bet. Flair looks terrified at what this could mean and HHH tells him to give Batista $100.

That’s fine with Flair, who wants to keep the peace. Batista wants HHH’s money though so HHH pulls out $100. Batista laughs and tells HHH to get a sense of humor. Again: treat him like someone with a brain to go with his physical dominance and there is no way he won’t be awesome.

We look back at Snitsky Pillmanizing Kane’s neck.

Snitsky is surprised that Kane is coming back and whispers something to Maria, who runs off. He has a surprise for Kane on Sunday.

Edge still doesn’t get why Shawn Michaels is guest referee on Sunday because it won’t be fair. Bischoff says this is because Edge hurt Shawn even worse and cost Raw revenue. He’s trying to make up for some of it on Sunday, but for now Edge needs to worry about his match.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

They trade waistlocks to start with Jericho taking him to the mat by the leg. Back up and Edge punches him in the face but gets backdropped to the floor. Jericho follows him out and it’s a double clothesline to take us to a break. We come back with Edge working on the arm for a change, including a DDT on the arm for two. It’s off to a different armbar because Edge is good enough to mix up the holds he uses instead of doing the same things over and over.

Jericho fights up and hits a shoulder with the bad arm, which doesn’t seem to do much damage. A hurricanrana sends Edge flying but he’s right back with a heck of a big boot for two. Jericho’s northern lights suplex gets the same so he kicks Edge hard in the ribs. Edge catches him on top and tries a superplex, which is tossed down for a crash. A missed high crossbody misses Edge but he can’t get the spear. Jericho tries a rollup but Edge sits down on it and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. It wasn’t quite as good as the opener but Edge cheating to win gave him a victory that he needed. Edge is one of the weaker options in the Chamber so having him cheat to win is a good way for him to catch up. It’s not like Jericho losing is going to do any serious damage to him anyway.

Randy Orton is ready for his long awaited one on one match with HHH before he wins the World Title on Sunday.

JR and King thank the British fans for watching the show live but King cuts him off to say Happy Birthday.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Sylvan Grenier

Non-title with Maven coming out to do commentary. The distraction lets Grenier get in a cheap shot before the bell as Maven starts to gloat. Grenier stomps away in the corner as Maven talks about how he wants the Intercontinental Title match on Sunday. The chinlock goes on, followed by a full nelson to mix the holds up a bit.

Shelton fights up and drives him into the corner for the break and the comeback is on. Rob Conway offers a distraction, allowing Shelton to hit the Dragon Whip. The referee just stops counting at two because Grenier doesn’t kick out and the fans are not pleased. The exploder is good for the pin. Too short to rate but that ending hurt what was already a bad match.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

And now, the debate between Muhammad Hassan/Daivari and Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler. Hassan goes into the same speech he’s had every time about how America is racist and it got even worse since 9/11. Lawler says that there are racists and idiots in every country. Hassan has every right to complain about that but when he called the troops cowards, he took it too far.

The reason people don’t like Hassan and Daivari is they’re loudmouth jerks. Daivari goes into a rant but Hassan calms things down. Hassan doesn’t like most Arab Americans because they don’t showcase their heritage. He doesn’t like JR shaking his head at this because Hassan is as American as Mickey Mantle and the Oklahoma Sooners. JR won’t do anything about it though because he’s just like America: angry behind his back but a coward face to face.

JR says America isn’t a perfect place but Hassan and Daivari can love it or leave it (erg). Hassan turns over the podium and punches JR in the ribs, followed by a double team beatdown of Lawler. JR gets choked with a belt but the bloody Lawler takes off his own belt and chases them off, collapsing in the process. This could have been worse, but not that much worse. The RAH RAH AMERICA stuff is wearing thin and WWE knows how to lay it on very thick.

Coach is now doing commentary for the rest of the show. On his own. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish wastes no time in taking her down for some forearms and knees to the face. A hair pull takedown gets two as Victoria is looking like a full on jobber here. Trish chokes her in the corner and a throat first catapult into the bottom rope makes it even worse. Victoria gets in a side slam and rollup for two, followed by the clothesline comeback. The dancing moonsault hits raised knees though and the Chick Kick gives Trish the pin.

Rating: D. What happened to Victoria? She’s one of the best options they have in the division but she’s losing a match like this in a match that is just a step above a squash. It’s not like these two can’t have a good match if they’re given the chance but Trish might as well have been facing Stacy Keibler.

Post match Trish promises to do the same to Lita, so here’s Lita for the slugout. This brings out Snitsky for the save, allowing Trish to hit the Chick Kick. Snitsky grabs a chair but Kane returns to let her escape. Kane and Lita have a bit of a moment.

Video on the Elimination Chamber match from Summerslam 2003. Egads do I really have to think about that one again?

Coach explains why he’s out here alone.

Hassan vs. Lawler is set for Sunday.

Pay per view rundown.

Christy Hemme is doing a photo shoot when Eugene shows up to sing Lindsay Lohan to her. Believe it or not, this is actually dumber than it sounds. Thankfully William Regal comes in for the save with Christy escorting Eugene to the ring. It turns out Regal likes Lohan as well, meaning singing and dancing ensues. This is instantly more entertaining than anything Eugene just did.

Christian vs. Eugene

Christian/Tomko vs. Eugene/Regal for the titles on Sunday. Eugene shoulders him down to start and even shows off some power with the gorilla press into a Warrior Splash (with rope shake of course). Christian finally gets in a shot of his own and a quick distraction lets Tomko drive Eugene back first into the apron. We hit the required neck crank for a bit before Eugene comes back with a Rock Bottom for a very delayed two. Tomko comes in so Eugene forearms him to the floor, leaving Christian to grab a sunset flip (and a rope, since he must have been watching Edge’s match earlier) for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when you’re using the same finish twice in about an hour. This was a perfectly acceptable way to build towards the Tag Team Title match on Sunday, which was announced earlier in the show so it’s not like they can have any less of a story going on. The match was nothing to see of course, but it did what it was supposed to do as well as it could have been asked to.

Evolution (since we haven’t seen them in awhile) is ready for tonight but HHH wants Batista to stay in the back. He only has to beat four guys on Sunday but tonight it’s one on one. Tonight, he needs to show the world that Orton was just a tag along. Flair is all for this while Batista doesn’t seem convinced. He’ll only come out if Orton starts beating HHH up….but that won’t happen.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Thank goodness JR rejoins commentary for this one. They stare each other down for a good while until Orton snaps off the dropkick to take over early on. A clothesline gives Orton two and it’s time to slug it out. The backdrops has HHH in trouble again and we take a break. Back with HHH being thrown outside again as he hasn’t had any major offense so far. HHH finally manages to snap Orton’s throat across the top to take over and a running knee nearly knocks Orton over the barricade.

Of course that means Flair can get in some stomping because he knows how to cheat properly. Back in and HHH drives shoulders in the corner, followed by another trip to the floor. Flair even gets inside this time for no apparent reason as HHH doesn’t cheat, but Orton manages to send him into the post.

Back in and the powerslam gives Orton two, followed by the backbreaker for the same. The high crossbody gets two more and it’s time to reverse some sleepers. That’s broken up and the ref gets bumped, allowing Flair to slide in the ring bell. Orton takes it away though and blasts HHH, drawing in Batista to hit the big clothesline. That brings in Benoit to cancel out Batista but here’s Shawn to take over as referee.

Edge comes in as well but Jericho stops him from spearing Shawn in some good pre-match sucking up. Jericho dives onto Edge and Batista so Shawn starts counting HHH and Orton as the match is still going. It’s HHH up first but his yelling at Shawn lets Orton….miss the RKO. The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and now the RKO gives Orton the pin.

Rating: C-. It was dull until the insanity began, but they might as well just give HHH (who is up against COMPLETELY insurmountable odds) the title now. As usual, Orton wins the match that doesn’t matter and it only took a ring bell, a second referee and half a dozen people getting involved. But hey, HHH certainly put him over here and that’s what mattered.

Overall Rating: C-. The big story here continues to be Batista, who is about to break through the glass ceiling and become the biggest thing on the show if the indications are correct. This show was all about building to the Elimination Chamber as Sunday is a total one match show. That’s perfectly fine and something that has been done before, though there is only so much you can get out of a two hour and forty five minute show with only the main event mattering. They didn’t hide that here, but what they were focusing on got the right amount of attention.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – January 29, 2001: Even The Contract Signings Are Cool

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 2001
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,449
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I just did the Smackdown from the week before so now we’ll see the followup for the sake of continuity. We’re coming off the Royal Rumble and on the way to No Way Out, meaning Steve Austin vs. HHH/Vince McMahon is currently the top story. That’s not the worst place in the world to be and this is a pretty strong time for the company. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown hero and WWF Champion Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle brags about being the most valuable sperm donor in town, Angle shows us a clip from last year where he declared himself Pittsburgh’s hometown hero in this very arena. He even told Mario Lemieux to come back to the Pittsburgh Penguins, which Lemieux did in the year in between. You can imagine the gloating off that one, but Angle would rather talk about tonight’s fatal four way for a title shot this week on Smackdown.

Angle omits the Rock from the list of participants so here’s Rock to interrupt. Rock didn’t like being left out so he’s here to set things straight. First of all, Rock doesn’t quite agree with Angle taking credit for Lemieux return, leading to a string of various swearing and insults. With the mean things out of the way, Rock has some footage of his own, which suggests that Angle likes….pizza. Angle freaks out and Rock shows us a local pizza ad from a few years ago with Angle watching pizza toppings wrestle. Ok yeah it’s goofy, but Rock was in a series of Chef Boyardee commercials in 1999 with the jingle Gettin Cheffy With It.

Back in the arena, Rock asks about Angle saying it doesn’t matter who is in the four way, setting up the IT DOESN’T MATTER what doesn’t matter line. Rock promises to win tonight and then take the title on Thursday but here’s Big Show (also in the four way) to jump Rock from behind. Angle is very pleased as Show hits a big clothesline, but a point from Show makes the nerves go right back up.

The XFL is coming in five days. On my birthday no less.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending but Edge and Christian come out in street clothes. As I try to figure out what street they could possibly be from, Christian says Edge is sick with food poisoning he got last week at Smackdown. He even has a note from a “real professional doctor.” They have replacements though.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kaientai

The Dudleys are still defending and Kaientai promise to win by the power of Grayskull. Edge and Christian sit in on commentary (JR: “Oh goody. Hot dog.) as D-Von sends Funaki face first into the top turnbuckle. Bubba punches Taka in the face as we look at commentary for a rather annoying trope. D-Von drops his good looking legdrop for two on Funaki as Edge and Christian insist that they are NOT scared of the Dudleys.

The reverse inverted DDT slam gets two on Taka and it’s off to Bubba to clean house, despite the team being firmly in control before the tag. What’s Up hits Funaki and it’s an electric chair drop into a neckbreaker (that’s a new one) to Taka. That’s enough to draw Edge in for a spear on D-Von and the Canadians bail. Funaki gets the least intriguing near fall in a long time and it’s the 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well they tried, though it wasn’t the most thrilling match any way you looked at it. There is only so much you can do to make me believe that Kaientai is a real threat to the Dudleys and the titles so this was about as good as it was going to get. If nothing else, Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys will be great, as always.

Vince promises a match tonight for the #1 contendership when HHH and Stephanie storm in with an attorney named Brian Gerwitz (ha). HHH is worried about the contract signing but Vince has it covered.

Rock left the medic’s room earlier after refusing treatment.

Billy Gunn is worried about Chyna but wants her to get better and move forward with everything else going on in her life.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

The Right To Censor is trying to get rid of Steve’s weapons. Therefore, Blackman has a full bag of them. Blackman strikes away to start until a belly to back suplex gets Venis out of trouble. Steven Richards gets in a few cheap shots on the floor because that’s what he’s supposed to do in a match.

There’s a whip into the steps to make it worse for Blackman as this is almost one sided so far. Back in and we hit the chinlock with Ivory shouting that violence is unacceptable. Blackman fights up and kicks him in the ribs, setting up a snap suplex for a breather. The comeback is shortlived though as Richards gets in a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Venis to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. There’s an idea to the Right To Censor but at the same time there was only so much that could be done when their biggest star was either the Goodfather or Venis. Struggling to beat Steve Blackman isn’t a good sign either and the lack of a top star was a reason why the team never went anywhere. That and the fact that they weren’t supposed to.

Post match Blackman clotheslines Venis and beats up Richards. Bull Buchanan runs in for the save but Hardcore Holly makes the real save with some weapons. He throws Blackman some nunchucks and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Holly and Blackman tease a fight but agree to settle it over a warm cup of tea instead.

Tough Enough video submissions, including Josh Lomberger (Matthews).

Vince is on the phone with someone who is recovering and suggests massages. William Regal comes in with a cup of tea because it can relieve Vince’s stress. Vince seems pleasantly surprised.

Video on HHH vs. Steve Austin. HHH was revealed as the mastermind behind Austin being run over by a car back in 1999 and then cost him the WWF Title. Austin cost him the title at the Royal Rumble and then won the Rumble later in the night. They need one more match, and they’ll do that at No Way Out.

HHH rants about how he can’t trust anyone in this.

Austin says he’ll sign and he’ll even do it first.

Here’s Vince to emcee the contract signing. Vince talks about the hatred between the two and says the stipulations for the match are to be determined. However, there can be no violence between the two of them until No Way Out, unless it is in a sanctioned match. If HHH attacks Austin, he is suspended for six months. If Austin attacks HHH, he loses his WWF Title match at Wrestlemania.

HHH (with Stephanie and attorney) and Austin both come out and sit down as the fans are rather mean to Stephanie. Hold on though as Austin needs some beer. They stare each other down and Austin signs without saying anything. HHH’s attorney has to read the contract again and there’s something that HHH doesn’t like. We pause for some reading and Austin isn’t happy.

HHH signs….and hits Austin in the head with the metal briefcase. The beatdown is on as everyone is freaking out about the suspension. The Pedigree lays Austin out and Vince tells HHH that he’s been suspended for six months. Actually that’s not true…..because HHH didn’t actually sign. NOW he signs and gets in a gem with “Paragraph 3:16 says you can’t touch me.” I’ve always liked this segment.

The XFL is coming in five days.

Post break, here’s what you just saw before the break.

HHH and Stephanie left during the break but did make sure to pop out of the sunroof for some bragging.

APA vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Right To Censor

The winners get a title shot on Smackdown and that would be Buchanan and Goodfather for the RTC. It’s a brawl to start before the RTC even gets here with Jacqueline and Lita fighting on the ramp. With that broken up, the RTC comes in and it’s Buchanan attacking Matt to start. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Jeff missing the Whisper in the Wind. Bradshaw Clotheslines Buchanan with Goodfather making a save. That’s enough to allow Jeff to drop the Swanton for the pin and the title shot in a hurry.

Rock confirms that he will be in the four way because all Show did was tick him off. Payback is guaranteed.

Big Show laughs.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Crash

Crash is challenging and has Molly Holly in his corner. Raven brings his shopping cart full of weapons and uses it to knock Crash off the ramp. A tricycle toss misses Crash and they’re already in the crowd. Crash dives off the balcony with an ax handle and catapults Raven into a sign. They head into the concourse with JR and King using the time to plug the XFL. Raven throws a mop bucket at him and gets sent into a wall for his efforts.

Some kind of cart crushes Raven against the wall and Crash dives through the cart to take him down again. They head outside for a bulldog onto a park bench but Raven kicks Molly away before she can crotch him against a tree. Crash does it on his own but a masked woman jumps out of a car and saves Raven. Molly goes after her and gets thrown down, allowing the masked woman to hit Crash in the back so Raven can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was pretty entertaining for a hardcore match as they were trying out there. You can only get so far in a match like this if you just hit each other with stuff so going out of the ring and trying something new is the way to go. The tree part was funny and the kind of thing you need some creativity to do and it worked out well here.

Raven and the woman (never revealed but I believe it was going to be Tori) drive off.

Chris Benoit isn’t worried about the four way.

Undertaker vs. Haku

Kane and Rikishi are here as seconds. They waste no time in slugging it out with Undertaker hitting a big boot into the legdrop for two. Old School already connects but Undertaker goes outside to beat up Rikishi. The distraction lets Haku get in a few shots and “slam” Undertaker down by the head (Haku seemed to lose the grip and Undertaker fell by himself). Back up and the jumping clothesline puts Haku down again and the jumping DDT has more effect than you might expect. Rikishi and Kane get in a fight on the floor to break up the Tombstone….so Undertaker hits a chokeslam to win a few seconds later instead.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of hitting each other until the finish here, which isn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Then again, the Brothers of Destruction against Rikishi and Haku isn’t the most interesting match either. Rikishi isn’t an imposing main eventer and Undertaker just beat Haku in four minutes. Where is the threat here?

Post match Rikishi chairs Undertaker in the head to bust him open but he’s right back up to clear the ring with Kane’s help.

Post break Undertaker thinks there is too much talking going on so now it’s time to fight. Let’s have a First Blood match on Smackdown. Undertaker: “I like to bleed. It turns me on!”

Dean Malenko, a real ladies’ man, is at WWF New York and can’t stand being away from Lita much longer. They’ll be back together real soon and the Hardys won’t come between them again.

Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is on commentary as the winner faces her on Smackdown. They start fast with a Cactus Clothesline putting them both on the floor as Ivory accuses JR of fantasizing about him. Apparently big JR fans, Jacqueline and Lita dive onto Ivory and the match is thrown out in a hurry. Lita’s music plays but she didn’t seem to win.

We look at the contract signing again, with HHH apparently only signing one H before attacking Austin. That might be stretching the legal definition of not signing. One thing I always appreciate: they keep saying February 25 as the date of the show. Not “four weeks from now” or “at No Way Out”. It’s a definitive date so you know when the show is taking place. Why is that so much to ask?

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Big Show vs. The Rock

The winner gets Angle, on commentary here, on Thursday. During his entrance, we see the pizza commercial again for a funny bit. Before the match, Jericho mocks Angle’s commercial, saying it has made him hungry for the title. Benoit and Jericho slug it out before the other two come to the ring, interrupting Lilian Garcia in the process. Show breaks it up so here’s Rock…who charges into a one armed chokeslam.

Benoit breaks up the cover but Show is right there to beat up everyone else. Jericho’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air but Benoit comes in to cut Show down. Rock comes back in for his clotheslines and Show gets tossed outside. That’s fine with Benoit, who snaps off a German suplex to Rock. The Swan Dive only hits mat and Rock’s Samoan drop gets two.

Show comes back in and gets DDTed but Rock has to go outside to deal with Jericho. Rock comes back in to break up the Crossface and the Lionsault hits Benoit for two. Jericho tries the Walls on Rock but Show grabs him by the throat. Benoit kicks Show low and the Canadians send Show outside, leaving Rock to Rock Bottom Benoit for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. That was a very fast match but they packed a lot into it and didn’t bother wasting time. Why bother doing anything more than exactly what the fans want to see here? There’s no need to build it up as anything more than what it was: four people giving it all they had to become the #1 contender, which is what you should be trying to do almost all the time.

Angle tells Rock to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It continues to amaze me how much easier these old shows are to watch. There’s an energy to them and they get through things so quickly without having the show drag. That and there’s not a ton of comedy to them. Not everything needs to have some kind of a joke included and they realized that here. It’s an entertaining show that made me want to see more, with the contract signing even having a good twist included. Well done, and it wasn’t even that great of a show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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