Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 9, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Summerslam and the big developments from last week saw Randy Orton pinning Chris Benoit in a six man, plus the long awaited HHH vs. Eugene match being announced. That doesn’t leave a lot to be done this week, but maybe they can put something good enough together. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Diva Search starts things off but here’s Randy Orton to cut off the elimination. He grabs the envelope and announces Chandra as the loser of the week. Orton: “AW SHUCKS!” After she leaves, Orton talks about how devastated Chris Benoit is going to be after he loses the World Title on Sunday. It has to hurt deep down inside, knowing that Benoit is going to lose everything he’s worked for. We look back at Orton pinning Benoit last week with Lawler shouting that it’s destiny.

Back in the arena (with the rest of the girls gone), Orton asks what everyone here did when they were 24 years old. Maybe they finally got a car or moved out of their parents’ basement. When he’s 24, he’s going to become the World Heavyweight Champion. This brings out Benoit to say that he wants to see the footage of Orton tapping out. Orton says that hasn’t happened so Benoit puts him in the Crossface right now for a tap. Benoit wants to see a replay right now but leaves before we see it. Dude if you’re not going to see it, don’t make the request. Another good segment here as they’re making me want to see the match.

Stacy Keibler/Victoria/Nidia vs. Jazz/Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Molly takes Victoria down to start as the hair is long, blonde and curly this week. Isn’t it time to retire that joke already? It’s been nearly five months now. Gail comes in and gets armdragged before it’s off to Stacy for what I have to imagine is a downgrade. The leg choke in the corner doesn’t get her very far and Molly low bridging her to the floor makes things even worse.

Jazz gets her turn with some forearms and knees but Stacy gets a boot up in the corner. A kick to Molly is enough for the hot tag to Nidia and somehow things get a little big better. Nidia hits a flapjack on Jazz but walks into a swinging neckbreaker from Molly. Everything breaks down and Nidia rolls Molly up for a quick pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure who decided that it was a good idea to have Stacy work such a long stretch of the match but it was the best idea in the world. There’s some talent in the division but there’s so much bad stuff dragging the good down. It doesn’t help when we’ve seen almost every combination far too many times and there isn’t a lot of top talent to go around in the first place.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to convince them all to come with her and do something.

We look back at HHH’s awesome beatdown of William Regal.

A very beaten up Regal and Eugene are at a hotel with Eugene saying he wants to go to the arena for his match tonight. Regal promises to go tonight but it’s not safe yet because it would be a big ambush and Regal isn’t capable of fighting right now. Instead, Eugene sits down and watches TV while Regal rests. With Regal in the other room, Eugene leaves for the arena alone. So this guy who could barely function on his own two months ago can now find an arena on his own?

Smackdown Rebound.

Matt Hardy comes up to see Lita, who has bad news: a DNA test says the baby is Kane’s. An angry Matt just stares at her and leaves.

JR is in the ring for the contract signing between Matt and Kane. Well that’s just awkward now. Lita follows behind Matt as Kane smiles rather evily. We get the recap of the rules for the match, which has to be near the top of the most ridiculous stipulations of all time. Lita and Kane sign with the latter smiling very hard. Matt doesn’t sign, walks around for a bit, and then signs. Kane says he’s more man than Matt and the obvious fight is on. A briefcase to the head knocks Kane out long enough for Matt and Lita to escape.

The Diva Search girls get 25 seconds to sell us ice cream. Joy is in a bikini and rubs it over herself, along with various toppings.

Amy turns it into a plug for Summerslam and sprays whipped cream in her mouth.

Carmella slowly puts stuff on her ice cream.

Tracie turns it into an infomercial.

Maria licks the ice cream and asks if anyone wants to share it with them. She’s rather enthusiastic here.

Christy wrecks the table and says she’s a good little girl who likes to share. This is quite annoying.

Michelle gives her number again (smart) and pours things on the ice cream.

At least it’s getting shorter. Not much smarter, but shorter.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Non-title. They stare each other down to start and fight over some waistlocks. Jericho gets a hammerlock until a whip into the corner and a knee to the back has Edge in some actual trouble. The double arm crank keeps Edge down as the announcers talk about King Kong and Godzilla. Edge is back up with some right hands to the head and blocks a splash with some knees. They’re still going rather slowly here and it seems they have a lot of time. Some shoulders to the back work on Jericho some more until he rakes the eyes.

Jericho tries his springboard dropkick but gets shoved outside in a big crash. The spear hits Jericho’s back, driving him off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Edge holding a chinlock with a knee in the back as they’re still not exactly going at top speed. Edge tries going up so Jericho dropkicks him out of the air, cutting off the fans’ interest all over again. Jericho gets in the spinwheel kick, followed by the running crotch attack to the back.

They get back up and Edge goes with the simple offense of a big boot before a knee to the face cuts off Jericho’s charge. There’s a catapult into the corner but Jericho is smart enough to bail to the floor before the spear can hit. Edge hits a baseball slide instead and the ribs go straight into the barricade. Back in and Edge hits a release gordbuster off the top, setting up a missile dropkick for two. Edge misses the spear though and Edge grabs a rollup, with his feet on the ropes for the pin as Edge has been doing in recent weeks.

Rating: B+. Yeah of course this worked as they had a lot of time and a reason to fight. Both guys looked awesome here with Jericho hanging in there until he could win over the aggressive Edge. As good as Batista has been of late, there’s a case to be made for this being the Summerslam title match but at least we got to see it at some point. Really good stuff here, but is that really a surprise?

Post match Batista comes out to destroy both guys.

Eugene arrives and, after a break, finds out that HHH isn’t here. Instead, HHH is at the hotel destroying Regal. Well that and monologuing about payback like an evil mastermind. That’s one of the most logical things I’ve seen on this show in years.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. Chris Cage/Brent Albright

Rhyno and Tajiri have to win in two minutes to get a title shot at Summerslam. Cage and Albright are both OVW guys. The bell rings and here’s La Resistance to watch. Tajiri kicks away at Albright to start and knocks an invading Cage down as well. Albright gets kicked in the face for his efforts to give Tajiri two and it’s off to Rhyno. Everything breaks down and a big spinebuster plants Cage. The Gore connects but La Resistance distracts the referee so time expires. No title shot in a bit of a surprise.

Divas, bikinis, next. Actually not next as Trish and the six women from earlier come out with a challenge for Summerslam: DODGEBALL. Somehow, that’s an improvement over all the other dumb stuff they’ve done so far. You can hear JR’s soul die as he tries to talk the idea up.

Evolution is happy with Regal’s beatdown.

HHH/Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit/Eugene

Actually hang on as there’s no Eugene since he’s gone to be with Regal so we’ll try this instead.

HHH/Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit elbows them both in the face to start and a baseball slide puts HHH on the floor. A snap suplex takes Orton down and the rolling German suplexes do the same to HHH. Flair is right there to break up the Swan Dive though, allowing HHH to crotch Benoit on top. Orton comes in and drops some knees to the chest, followed by a dropkick. HHH gets to hammer away as well with Orton coming back in with a top rope stomp to the back. There’s a hard whip into the corner as the beatdown continues.

Regal’s blood is still all over HHH’s tape for a great touch. Orton grabs the chinlock, which JR describes as “very dangerous”. Benoit fights out of the corner but walks into a spinebuster to cut him right back off. A small package gives Benoit two and he sends HHH into Orton in the corner for a breather. There’s a superplex to Orton to knock him silly but Benoit can’t cover. HHH gets suplexed down and Benoit backdrops him out to the floor. The Crossface goes on and Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was only so good as Benoit was literally on his own and wasn’t about to get a win here. At the same time you don’t want Benoit to take a clean loss, so of course you go with the DQ because that’s what Flair is there for anymore. The wrestling wasn’t the point here as it was more about the storyline, but at least what we got wasn’t bad.

Post match HHH gets in the beatdown on Benoit, including the Pedigree (shocking) but here’s Eugene to beat on HHH, who bails out. Eugene beats up Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade as the good stuff was really good but the weaker parts stuck out horribly. The problem is they seemed to be getting ready for Summerslam but at the same time wanted to do a bunch of stuff that had nothing to do with the show, which isn’t the best idea for the go home show for one of the biggest cards of the year. What we got was good, but it could have been a lot better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestle Kingdom XIII
Date: January 4, 2019
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 38,162
Commentators: Don Callis, Chris Charlton, Kevin Kelly

Well this is a big one. It’s the Japanese equivalent of Wrestlemania and the biggest non-WWE show of the year. This year’s card is absolutely stacked (tends to be the case) and while I’m not the biggest New Japan fan, there’s a very strong chance of this show being nothing short of incredible. Let’s get to it.

As always, please note that I don’t watch NJPW regularly. I know the basic stories and looked up a few things beforehand, but I’m going to miss some details and character motivations in some parts.

Gauntlet Match

The winners get a Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Title shot, I believe at tomorrow’s New Year’s Dash show. The Elite (Yujiro Takahashi, Marty Scurll and Hangman Page with Chase Owens in their corner) and Yuji Nagata/David Finlay/Jeff Cobb start things off with Cobb sporting a taped up shoulder. Scurll headscissors Nagata to start and gets smart by kicking the knee out instead of trying a slugout. The finger snap is broken up but so is Nagata’s reverse Figure Four.

Cobb comes in and gets triple teamed to the floor, with Page adding the shooting star from the apron. Back in and Cobb tosses Page in a fall away slam, allowing the tag to Finlay. Everything breaks down and Finlay hits a Rock Bottom backbreaker on Takahashi as everyone else heads to the floor. Owens grabs Finlay’s foot for a save but accidentally gets kicked down by Page. The distraction is enough for Finlay to roll Takahashi up for the pin and the elimination at 4:43.

Next up is Chuckie T/Beretta/Hirooki Goto with Goto and Nagata slugging it out in the middle. Chuckie and Beretta break it up and there’s a big flip dive from Chuckie onto Cobb and Finlay. Beretta adds an Asai moonsault onto both of them, leaving Goto to hit the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two on Nagata. Things settle down with Chuckie and Beretta getting in a huge to set up a double elbow drop.

Nagata scores with an exploder suplex and it’s off to Cobb to clean house. We get the big clotheslines from Cobb and Goto until some double teaming slows Cobb down. That’s fine with him as he suplexes both of them down without much effort. Chuckie’s piledriver gets two on Finlay but he misses the moonsault, allowing Finlay to grab a quick rollup for the pin at 13:40.

Minoru Suzuki and the Killer Elite Squad are in fourth and of course the brawl is on in a hurry. Nagata and Suzuki slug it out (well duh) with the revolving slaps until Nagata gets two off a t-bone suplex. Smith comes in but gets kicked in the leg, allowing the hot tag to Cobb for the hoss battle. The Angle Slam sets up the standing moonsault but Smith gets away as everything breaks down. The Killer Bomb finishes Finlay at 18:34.

Ryusuke Taguchi/Togi Makabe/Toru Yano are the final team so it’s time for COMEDY! The Squad beats the funny out of them in the aisle though and Suzuki goes after commentary due to reasons of evil. We settle down to Smith kicking Taguchi in the face, hitting the Hulk Hogan poses, and dropping a leg for two. Archer comes in for an Undertaker rope walk, though he spices it up a bit with a tag while on the ropes. It’s off to Suzuki, who actually gets knocked down so Makabe can come in for some power.

Suzuki runs him over again but the kicks seem to fire Makabe up. A double clothesline allows the double tag to Yano and Smith so Yano can go straight for the buckle pad. Archer comes in for the Hart Attack, followed by a side slam/middle rope splash combination for a near fall each. Suzuki tries the Gotch piledriver on Makabe but gets taken down by Taguchi’s hip attack. The Squad goes after Makabe but it’s a double low blow from Yano to set up the rollup pin on Smith for the title shot at 27:48.

Rating: C-. This was ok and a good way to get a bunch of people on the show without having a battle royal. I’m really not a fan of Yano (repetitive comedy gets old in a hurry) but the fans love him and that’s enough of a reason to give his team the win here. The length was fine and it’s an acceptable Kickoff Show match, which is exactly the right idea. Nothing great, but fine.

Video on the Best Of 2018, including various attendances for the bigger shows.

Ads for upcoming shows, including one in Dallas at the American Airlines Center on July 6 and a show in England on August 31. Also, next year’s New Year’s Dash will be in the Tokyo Dome as well.

We get the video running down the card, featuring the show order. This is rather stacked, as always.

Never Openweight Title: Will Ospreay vs. Kota Ibushi

Kota is defending and egads what an opener. They start with Ibushi being monkey flipped to the floor, leaving Ospreay to hit the superhero pose. Ibushi dives back in and blocks the Oscutter and we’re now forty five seconds in with a standoff. The kick to the chest misses Ospreay so Ibushi dropkicks him to the floor, only to miss the middle rope moonsault in a big crash as Ospreay somehow gets to the apron and kicks him out of the air.

The Space Flying Tiger Drop has Ibushi in even more trouble and a backbreaker gives Ospreay two. Ibushi is right back up with a hurricanrana to the floor, setting up a top rope corkscrew Asai moonsault (good grief) to drop Ospreay again. Back in and Ibushi nails a rolling German suplex but Ospreay scores with a handspring spinning kick to the head. Ospreay hits a Cheeky Nandos Kick for two more and it’s time to trade forearms. Ibushi gets the better of it but neither can hit a powerbomb.

Instead Osprey kicks him in the chest and grabs a Spanish Fly to put both of them down. Stormbreaker is countered into a hurricanrana for two and there’s the sliding knee to Ospreay’s head. The sitout Last Ride gives Ibushi two more but Ospreay catches him on top with the knee getting caught in the Tree of Woe. They slug it out from there (as in with Ibushi hanging upside down) until Ospreay kicks him in the face to take over.

What looked to be a super Stormbreaker is countered but Ospreay flips out of a German superplex, which seems to be a callback to a recent match. Ibushi’s straitjacket suplex gets two and they trade some heavy shots to the head. Stormbreaker is countered again into an exchange of counters, capped off by Ibushi hitting a kneeling tombstone. Somehow he’s up first and hits a heck of a running back elbow to the back of Ibushi’s head. Ibushi is DONE and the Stormbreaker gives Ospreay the pin and the title at 18:14.

Rating: B+. Well we’re off to a great start. This was an awesome “I hit something big then you hit something bigger” exchange with Ospreay being in his element with that style. Ibushi is still one of the best high fliers ever and looked great here, but Ospreay winning makes sense given how much star potential he has. Excellent opener with some very hard hitting action.

Ibushi is taken out on a stretcher and apparently had a legit concussion.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Roppongi 3K vs. Suzuki-Gun vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon

Suzuki-Gun (Yoshinobu Kanemaru/El Desperado) are defending and Roppongi 3K (Sho and Yoh) has Rocky Romero in their corner. Los Ingobernables (Bushi/Shingo Takagi) start the brawl before the bell but get sent to the apron for the running flip dives from 3K. Kanemaru and Desperado break up a second set of dives and it’s Desperado chinlocking Yoh to take over. Back up and a superkick allows the tag to Sho as they’re certainly moving early on. An AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick hits Desperado and Shingo tags himself in and starts in with some hard strikes.

Sho German suplexes Shingo who German suplexes Kanemaru at the same time but Desperado nails a spear. 3K’s double jumping knees put Desperado down and a backbreaker/middle rope knee drop combination makes it even worse. With Desperado in trouble, 3K loads up….uh 3K actually but has to duck a double shot of whiskey and black mist, allowing Shingo to hit Sho with a Gory Bomb. The Big Bomber (hard lariat) gets two on Sho and Bushi dives onto Yoh. Last of the Dragon (a modified Samoan driver) gives Shingo the pin and the titles at 6:49.

Rating: C+. That was certainly short. It was entertaining while it lasted but they didn’t have time to do much. That being said, they crammed in as much as they could with 3K and Shingo looking like stars. This division has finally moved past the Young Bucks and the matches are a lot of fun. It might have been better with the less time here though as it didn’t have time to die down, which seems to be the point of a match like this.

Rev Pro British Heavyweight Title: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Ishii is defending and I saw him take the title from Sabre in New Orleans in an awesome match so this should be fun. Sabre’s manager Taka Michinoku handles the hype efforts before the match. Sabre goes straight for an abdominal stretch attempted but gets hiptossed out. An enziguri misses for Ishii and Sabre takes him down into a cross armbreaker, sending the champ to the ropes after some good cranking.

Sabre’s kicks to the chest are shrugged off so he slaps on another armbar to send Ishii right back to the ropes. Those cocky kicks to the side of Ishii’s head just wake him up (like Flair’s chops to Sting) but Sabre takes him over with a northern lights suplex. They trade ankle locks until Ishii shoulders the heck out of him for a breather. Another suplex takes Sabre down this time and the delayed vertical superplex keeps Sabre in trouble. He holds onto the arm though and stomps on it before crashing to the side because Sabre can do things like that.

An exchange of escapes goes into an Octopus Hold from Sabre, which he switches into a Code Red for two. The Zack (Michinoku) Driver is blocked and Ishii powerbombs the heck out of him for two of his own. Ishii’s hard lariat gets two but Sabre slips out of the brainbuster. Sabre’s bridging pin is only good for two more so it’s off to a guillotine with an armbar. Sabre switches it over to the double arm trap octopus, which is actually called Hurrah! Another Year, Surely This One Will Be Better Than The Last; The Inexorable March Of Progress Will Lead Us All To Happiness (seriously) for the tap submission at 11:37.

Rating: B+. This needed more time to hit their full potential but the monster Ishii vs. the villain submission machine is one of the best combinations I’ve seen in a very long time. Sabre is so crazy smooth in the ring and Ishii is one of the best tough guy wrestlers I’ve seen in a long time. I could watch these two fight for months and this was another great one from both guys.

Sabre is presented with a new title.

IWGP Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon vs. Guerrillas Of Destiny

The Guerrillas are defending with Los Ingobernables (Evil and Sanada here) having won the World Tag League. They then requested that the Bucks be added because they wanted to avenge past losses. The champs also have Bad Luck Fale and Jado in their corner. Tama and Matt start things off with Tama showing off his new “good guy” persona by offering a handshake.

Evil uses the distraction to tag himself in and pull Tama to the floor. Everything breaks down and Matt gets slammed onto the ramp to bring up his annual back injury. Back in and the Guerrillas beat up Evil with Loa hitting a top rope headbutt, only to have Tama’s version broken up. The Bucks get in their shots on Evil as well to continue his bad night. Matt grabs the Sharpshooter as Nick dives onto Sanada. Evil makes the rope and comes back with a running clothesline to Matt.

It’s off to Sanada to clean house on everyone, including the slingshot dive onto the Bucks. That’s enough selling from the Bucks though as they’re right back up with a springboard Blockbuster/Russian legsweep combination on Sanada but the Guerrillas come back in to start wrecking things (again). The Tower of Doom sends Matt back first onto the mat, leaving Nick to hit a 450. Fale and Jado come in and are dispatched by the Bucks just as quickly but Los Ingobernables get up for Everything Is Evil and the Magic Killer. Sanada moonsaults onto Nick for the pin and the titles at 10:16.

Rating: C+. This was similar to the Junior Tag Team Title match with a lot of stuff crammed in. That’s not the worst thing in the world but it’s another quick match in a series of them tonight. Evil and Sanada have been awesome for a long time now though and it makes sense to put the titles back on them. Now just keep the things on them for awhile this time around.

IWGP United States Title: Juice Robinson vs. Cody

Cody, in Jacksonville Jaguars colors for a nice touch, is defending and I think you know where this is going. A pre-bell belt shot misses and Juice starts hammering away until Cody grabs his knee. Juice isn’t buying it and stays on him with a gutbuster. That’s enough for Juice to go up top but Brandi covers Cody up to prevent the dive. Pulp Friction on the apron is broken up with a shove into the post and Juice is holding his shoulder. Back in and Cody busts out some jumping jacks before stopping for a kiss from Brandi.

Speaking of Brandi, she hits a spear with her bionic shoulder but the referee tosses her. Pulp Friction is countered into Cross Rhodes for a close two and Cody is getting frustrated. Another Pulp Friction is reversed into Cross Rhodes on Cody, who of course hits a Pulp Friction of his own for two more. Cody whips him with the weightlifting belt but tells Robinson to get up. That’s just what Juice does before hammering away with left hands. Pulp Friction connects and Robinson adds a second for the pin and the title at 9:05.

Rating: D+. Brandi aside, this was pretty bad with the match flying by and not having any time to do anything. It felt like they skipped the beginning and most of the middle and just went to the finish, which didn’t make for much of a match. Robinson getting the title back is fine, but egads can something other than the opener get fifteen minutes tonight?

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. Kushida

Ishimori, of Bullet Club, is challenging here. And here’s a mini Kushida….and Doc Brown comes out to get him. Doc pulls out a remote control and seemingly blows mini Kushida up, turning him into the real thing. Eh I love Back to the Future so I’m good, even if that didn’t make much sense. Kushida starts in on the wristlock before kicking at the arm in a smart move. The cartwheel into the dropkick has Ishimori in even more trouble but it’s too early for the Hoverboard Lock.

Ishimori grabs the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring and the crawl to the rope takes its time. A springboard seated senton keeps Kushida in trouble and the sliding German suplex, ala John Morrison, keeps Kushida down. Kushida grabs a triangle choke but Ishimori fights up and spins around for a failed Crossface attempt. A Tombstone into a Codebreaker is countered and Kushida kicks him down again. Another Codebreaker gives Ishimori two but Kushida reverses a suplex into the Hoverboard Lock.

That’s rolled through into an AA as Kushida isn’t able to do much with the rather unstoppable Ishimori. Kushida grabs a quick Back to the Future and tries another but Ishimori blocks (I’m not sure that’s how it’s supposed to work) so Kushida blasts him with a right hand. That’s shrugged off as well and the Bloody Cross gives Ishimori the title at 11:16.

Rating: B-. Geez this hasn’t been a good night for the champions so far. The problem for Kushida is there’s nothing left for him to do as a junior heavyweight so what is there left for him to do in the entire promotion? Ishimori looked like a killer here and could be a heck of a champion for a long time. Or until next Wrestle Kingdom when every champion loses again.

We recap Kazuchika Okada vs. Jay White. Okada was the king of the company for a few years but manager/adviser Gedo turned on him in favor of White. That sent White onto a great heel run where he wants to prove that he’s the best and now it’s time for him to face the huge challenge. Also, Okada has been shaken up since losing the World Title but is back in form tonight.

Jay White vs. Kazuchika Okada

Okada’s trunks have returned, because it’s the old, amazing version again tonight. They don’t go straight at each other to start so Gedo distracts Okada and White stomps away. Okada is right back up with an elbow to the back of the head but White suplexes him out to the floor. Back in and White gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the cravate. Okada fights up and gets all ticked off though as the fans start getting into this again.

White gets sat on top for the dropkick to the floor, followed by a running big boot to send him over the barricade. Okada isn’t done and sends Gedo out next to White for a running crossbody to take them both down. Back in and Okada hits the Rainmaker pose but gets caught in a German suplex. A Rock Bottom gives White two but Blade Runner is blocked. It’s time to cheat as Gedo puts a chair in the ring and tries to come in, only to have the chair shot miss.

Okada scores with the dropkick but walks into a suplex onto the back of his head. Another Blade Runner is countered into a Tombstone for two as White’s kicking brings the fans back up to cheer for Okada. Yet another dropkick connects and it’s a series of counters until the Rainmaker connects. Okada isn’t done though and tries it again, only to get countered into the Blade Runner for the completely clean pin at 14:21.

Rating: B. That’s the kind of story to a match that this show has been needing with White beating Okada at his best (which was specified multiple times throughout the night). They made a star here and that’s exactly what they needed to do. It helps that I’ve been a White fan since I saw him debut in ROH so this was really cool to see. They told a story here and it’s the kind of career defining win that someone like White needs. Well done here with a very good story, especially with the usually cool Okada being out for revenge instead of the win because Gedo has gotten into his head. Very good all around here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Tetsuya Naito, which is a long running feud after Jericho took Naito’s Intercontinental Title. Jericho has since said that he scared Naito into his shell and gone into his usual Jericho awesomeness, attacking Naito at every chance and saying he’ll end Naito’s career. Naito has basically responded with “eh, it’s cool”, which fits him perfectly.

Intercontinental Title: Tetsuya Naito vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending and this is No DQ. Since he’s Chris Jericho, he comes to the ring in a black hat, a spiked leather jacket and wearing Crow inspired face paint. In other words, it somehow suits him perfectly. Naito jumps him before the bell as payback for Jericho doing the same thing in their previous match. The referee rings the bell with them on the floor because he knows they’re not getting inside anytime soon.

Naito piledrives him on the ramp and takes him inside for the removal of a buckle pad. A hurricanrana takes Jericho (with the long hair again) down and a clothesline puts him right back on the floor. Naito’s dive is blocked with a kendo stick shot though and it’s time for the stick shots. The springboard dropkick knocks Naito off the apron and Jericho grabs a camera for some filming of the downed Naito. They head into the announcers’ area with Jericho hitting one of the scariest looking DDT’s I’ve ever seen, with Naito landing on the top of his head with a CRACK.

Jericho rings the bell but the referee won’t stop the match, even though Naito seems a bit dead. A high crossbody gives Jericho two and it’s time for some listening to the crowd, because Jericho knows how to be a huge villain. The Lionsault gets two and there’s the belly to back suplex into the arrogant cover for the same. Naito comes back with some right hands and shrugs off some kicks to the face.

Some spit in Jericho’s face sets up a neckbreaker for two but the Walls put Naito right back in trouble. Naito slips out and kicks Jericho away before hitting something like a pump handle suplex for two. Destino is reversed into the Walls again (Jericho: “ASK HIM!”) until Naito finds the kendo stick for the break. A baseball swing with the stick drops Jericho again but he scores with a Codebreaker for a close two. Some chairs are thrown in and piled up but the powerbomb onto them are countered into a DDT near them.

Naito hits his own Codebreaker for two and a German suplex onto the chairs makes it even worse. Destino is countered again though and Jericho shoves the referee (not really necessary) so a low blow can stop Naito. There’s the Codebreaker for a heck of a near fall so Jericho grabs the belt. That’s countered into a hot shot into the exposed buckle, setting up Destino for another white hot near fall. Naito blasts him with the belt and now Destino gives Naito the pin at 22:34.

Rating: A-. This felt more like the Jericho vs. Omega match as Jericho was the angry veteran who could still hang in there and show how vicious he could be. It was entertaining stuff with Naito showing that he could do it on this stage and win the big one over the veteran. I had a really good time with this and Naito came off like the star they want to make the future center of the promotion, which he pretty much is.

Jericho storms off as Naito is awarded the title.

We recap Kenny Omega vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi for the IWGP World Title. Champion Omega is the new breed while Tanahashi is the old dog who is having yet another career resurgence to prove that he’s still got it one more time. He won the G1 Climax tournament to earn the shot and Omega doesn’t seem to be taking him completely seriously while promising to destroy Tanahashi once and for all.

IWGP World Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kenny Omega

Omega is defending and has the Young Bucks with him, plus an NES inspired entrance to make him a bit more awesome. Tanahashi on the other hand has a cool ring jacket with the shape of the title cut out around the waist. There’s no major contact for the first minute and a half so Tanahashi gets in a slap. Omega drives him into the ropes so Tanahashi slaps him again. A very early attempt at the One Winged Angel is countered into an abdominal stretch before Tanahashi starts in on the knee.

They slap it out with Omega’s leg tied up and Omega gets in a shot of his own to take over. He starts hammering on the back as the announcers go over Tanahashi’s main event history, including talking about how bad business was when he took over the top spot. A running kick to the back sets up more slaps to the face and a belly to back sends Tanahashi to the floor. There’s a belly to back suplex onto the apron as Omega is a full on heel here. Tanahashi gets in a dropkick but Omega drives him back first into the apron to take over again.

They head into the Japanese announcers’ area with Omega running over a commentator and raising his hand as an apology. It’s table time with Omega setting one up on the floor before taking the fight back inside for the chop off. A dragon screw legwhip takes Omega down again and the middle rope Swanton gets two. Omega is fine enough to hit the running Fameasser and Tanahashi falls outside. It’s too early for the Rise of the Terminator so Tanahashi breaks it up, only to be thrown outside for the big running flip dive. Omega’s foot hits him in the face but Omega lands hard on the edge of the ramp.

Back in and Omega hits a pair of snapdragons and the first V Trigger (I’ll put the over/under at 15). The One Winged Angel is countered and Omega’s knee gives out. There’s another legwhip, followed by Twist and Shout into the Texas Cloverleaf to stay on the knee. For a flashback, a Styles Clash plants Omega but the High Fly Flow (sounds like a shower setting) hits knees. Another V Trigger hits the buckle though and a third dragon screw, this time over the rope, has Omega in more trouble.

The Sling Blade on the apron puts him down again and Tanahashi puts him on the table. Another High Fly Flow misses Omega though and they’re both near death outside. Back in again and Omega hits a top rope double stomp to the back. Two powerbombs get two each and the sitout version gets the same. The frustrated Omega chokes away so Tanahashi comes back with a Sling Blade and it’s time to slug it out again. Omega has to cover up until some knees to the ribs cut Tanahashi off.

Tanahashi shrugs off a German suplex but gets caught in a Sling Blade to switch things up. Omega drops a High Fly Flow of his own for two and there’s another V Trigger to rock Tanahashi again. A regular knee to the head is called a V Trigger and the reverse hurricanrana connects. The….whatevereth V Trigger connects but the One Winged Angel is countered into a reverse hurricanrana from Tanahashi.

A high crossbody sets up the real High Fly Flow for a crazy close two. Tanahashi goes up again and gets caught with another V Trigger. The super dragon suplex (with Tanahashi flipping over and landing on his face to avoid the whole broken neck thing) sets up another V Trigger but the One Winged Angel is countered into something like a leg lariat. Another Sling Blade sets up another High Fly Flow for the pin and the title in an upset at 39:14.

Rating: A. Very good though not outstanding match here. That might not be the biggest surprise given that Omega seems to be leaving the promotion soon, but it’s still a heck of a performance. Tanahashi getting the title back is a great story with him reclaiming his place at the top of the mountain, but it was still missing a little something that made the previous main events that much better. Still though, great match, as you knew was coming the second the match was announced. Oh and Omega kept the V Triggers to what is considered reasonable by his standards, which is quite the plus.

Post match Omega is carried out and Tanahashi gets the big show closing address. He thanks the fans and wasn’t sure he could get to this level again. Okada helped get him here and he can’t believe it. He thanks the fans one more time and uses everything he has left for some air guitar before collapsing. One final thank you wraps us up.

Overall Rating: A. First and foremost: the show was just over four hours long instead of the usual five and that’s pretty close to the sweet spot. I could have gone for some of the matches being longer, but I’ll take the show going short rather than long every time. The big matches all delivered and while there were a few weak spots (Cody’s match in particular), the great matches are more than enough to make this a classic. It’s the highest rating I’ve given the show in four years and it was also the easiest show to watch in a long time.

Overall this show felt like a changing of the guard/resetting, with every title changing hands. Maybe those titles go right back where they were soon enough, but it certainly seems that things are changing around here. Given the startup of AEW and WWE wanting new talent, we might not be seeing some of these people on this stage again. That makes things very interesting, but more importantly it means they get to go out on a high note. Great show, and the best I’ve seen them do in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 2, 2004
Location: SBC Arena, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting very close to Summerslam and that means things are starting to pick up. Last week saw Eugene cost HHH the World Title and I’m sure we’ll need to hear about HHH’s quest for vengeance, because this show is about HHH and no one else. That includes World Champion Chris Benoit, who will be defending against Randy Orton at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Iron Man match, including Eugene costing HHH the title.

HHH actually cuts off the intro because he can’t wait to hear himself talk about how important he is. After a brief wait for the fans to yell at him, HHH rants about how last week was supposed to be his time because he was doing something that very few men dare to do. He fought his heart out because his life depended on it. That title is his life but then Eugene took it away from him. A SIMPLETON took it away from him and Eugene can’t even comprehend what he has done. HHH demands that Eugene get out here right now by shouting his name over and over again in acting that would be bad in a WWE Studios film.

William Regal comes out instead, saying that Eugene isn’t here this week. Regal admits that it was his idea for Eugene to come out there last week and actually brings up their tag team in WCW. People like them are just born naughty and if it was anyone else but Eugene, Regal would have applauded what HHH did. If HHH wants a fight tonight, Regal will go put his gear on and fight him with every ounce of violent venom in his body. As usual, Regal’s fire was awesome here and it’s turning him into something.

After that fired up promo, we go to the Diva Search girls for the elimination. It’s Camille, one of the blondes. Good for her. Anyway, tonight the remaining women can have 20 seconds each to campaign for why they should stick around.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Non-title. The fight is on before the bell with Tajiri throwing Grenier inside for some kicks to the back. Rhyno hits a flying shoulder and Tajiri adds a running dropkick as Conway still can’t get his jacket off. A double flapjack drops Grenier and there’s the handspring elbow. Rhyno Gores Conway and Tajiri sunset flips Grenier for the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long but they packed a ton of stuff into it.

Randy Orton says it was his destiny to lose the Intercontinental Title so he can become the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history. Brock Lesnar did it when he was 25 but Orton is only 24. Orton has killed off one legend after another and that’s what he’s going to do to Chris Benoit at Summerslam. Nice little promo here.

Smackdown Rebound.

Matt Hardy comes in to see Lita and, after getting rid of Stacy Keibler, tells her that he wants them to be together. Like, they should get married. I don’t see this going well.

Tyson Tomko vs. Rosey

…..run away while you still can. Rosey has Stacy with him just because. Tomko’s headlock doesn’t last long so he forearms Rosey in the back a few times. That earns him a trip to the floor and Stacy stretches to the fans’ delight. Back in and Tomko chokes on the ropes but charges into a boot in the corner. Rosey drops a leg and Stacy does a cartwheel with her skirt flying up. Just in case you thought she had any value otherwise. The spinning legdrop gets two and let’s get a slow motion replay of the cartwheel. A Trish Stratus distraction lets Tomko kick Rosey in the face for the pin.

Rating: D-. I used to be a big Stacy fan but time has not been kind to her. She’s literally just there for her looks and that’s all she has going for her. I know the women’s division isn’t much, but keeping people like her around hasn’t aged well when you can see what the women’s division can become. That role can be done well by the right people, but Stacy just wasn’t that good. The match on the other hand was as bad as you would have guessed.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and Jericho wastes no time in bringing out Edge as his guest. Edge very reluctantly shakes his hand, which isn’t a good sign when they’re in a tag match tonight. Jericho gets right to the point by announcing Edge defending the title at Summerslam against himself and Batista. We move on to the battle royal last week and Edge isn’t happy about Jericho eliminating him. Edge thought they were friends after they got rid of five guys together but then Jericho couldn’t put his ego aside.

That’s why Orton is getting the title shot at Summerslam because he threw Jericho out. Edge: “I haven’t seen you get dumped that badly since Trish Stratus.” Jericho talks about Edge’s theme song saying “you think you know me”. Well Edge is going to know Jericho when he takes the Intercontinental Title. The fight is on with Edge hitting a spear and destroying the set. Edge grabs a chair but throws it down, probably due to the two of them being in a tag match tonight. Jericho doesn’t want to be helped up though and drops Edge with a right. If Edge wasn’t a heel yet, he’s right on the brink and not a minute too soon.

How to vote for the Diva Search eliminations.

HHH vs. William Regal

Regal jumps him during the entrance (as he should) and the fight is on with HHH being sent into the set. HHH gets knocked over the announcers’ table and down to ringside. They head inside for the bell…and a right hand with brass knuckles to knock Regal cold for the DQ in about twenty seconds. Why can these two just not have a match?

Regal is busted open and HHH makes it worse by pulling out the sledgehammer. Regal knocks him down though and grabs the knuckles but walks into the sledgehammer to the head to make the bleeding even worse. Referees come out and Regal does a stretcher job (while saying Chris, his wife’s name, over and over in a nice touch) but HHH turns it over in a heel move that will always work. Good landing from Regal and HHH came off like the really evil version, even if it’s setting up a match with Eugene.

Post break, Eric Bischoff makes HHH vs. Eugene for Summerslam. Joy.

And now, the Diva Search campaigning.

Joy wants to be a Diva because she wants to be in front of a crowd.

Amy wants to be a Diva because she’s here for the long haul and will spank Evolution.

Chandra wants to win because this fits her personality so well.

Carmella wants to be a Diva because….well she doesn’t actually say as she’s just saying how great the fans are.

Tracy wants to be a Diva because she’ll fight hard and dirty. She strips as she talks and gives the number to call to vote for her in a smart idea.

Maria wants to be a Diva because this seems to be a fun place to work and they support the troops.

Christy wants to be a Diva because she has a lot of energy and wants to live this life.

Michelle wants to be a Diva because she’s been a huge wrestling fan since she was six and this is her dream.

They kept things shorter and WAY less dumb this week but that just brings it up to a waste of time instead of an all time disaster.

Kane chokes Lita and promises to get to Matt at Summerslam. Their match is official and Lita says Matt can beat him again. She’s so sure that she’ll marry the winner. Kane says it’s a pity that Lita won’t be able to wear white on their wedding day. Lita slaps him and he laughs.

Kane vs. Maven

Maven starts fast with a spinwheel kick and a pair of dropkicks to put Kane on the floor. The dive is kicked out of the air and the real beating begins. Back in and the chokeslam finishes Maven in a hurry. Just a squash, which makes Maven’s not bad performance last week seem like a waste.

Post match Kane says that’s what he’s going to do to Matt at Summerslam in the Til Death Do Us Part match.

The Diva Search girls do their bikini thing. They’ve managed to have this lose its impact.

Evolution vs. Chris Benoit/Edge/Chris Jericho

Edge runs by his partners and starts slugging away at Orton before choking with the t-shirt. It’s off to Jericho for a suplex to Orton and some chops to Flair. The fellow Canadians get in some shots from the apron and there’s the Flair Flop. Flair gets back up and spits at Benoit, which you know is going to bring him in. Some chops are no sold and Flair pokes him in the eye, only to get caught in a backslide for two. It’s off to Batista for the big shoulders in the corner and a good looking side slam.

Flair comes back in for the Figure Four to make Orton rather happy, but Flair makes the mistake of slapping Benoit in the face. That’s enough to fire up the comeback but Batista isn’t about to allow the hot tag. A basement dropkick to Batista’s head has no effect so Benoit avoids a charge to send him shoulder first into the post instead. That’s enough for the hot tag to Jericho who can’t get the Walls on Batista. He can however hit the running crotch attack to the back, followed by the Lionsault for one as everything breaks down. The Canadians clean house and we take a break.

Back with Orton holding Edge in a chinlock and Flair coming in for some shots to the face. A clothesline takes Edge down and Flair, never one to learn, goes up top and gets slammed off in short order. It’s off to Orton vs Jericho with the backbreaker taking Jericho down to put Evolution right back in control. The fans want tables (oh come on) as Jericho can’t get the Walls. What he can get is a tag to Benoit, who chops away at Flair in the corner and knocks him out to the floor.

Batista comes in instead and is put straight into the Crossface (JR: “That’ll bring you to your milk!”) with Orton making a save. Batista has to do the same to get Flair out of the Walls and a spinebuster plants Jericho. That gives Batista two and it’s off to Orton for a knee drop into some choking. The hard chinlock goes on for a good minute plus before Jericho comes back with the sleeper drop. It’s too early for the big hot tag though so Batista bends Jericho’s back over the knee instead. Jericho finally gets free and knocks Batista down, allowing the hot tag to Benoit so house can be cleaned for real.

The rolling German suplexes take care of Orton and Flair is sent outside. Batista sends Jericho into Edge though before blasting Jericho with the huge clothesline. More German suplexes get Benoit out of trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on Flair, only to have Orton score with the RKO and pin Benoit.

Rating: B+. I’m really going to miss these Canada vs. Evolution matches when they’re gone because any combination of them works so well together. This was more great action until the storyline advancing ending and that’s all you could ever want. While it’s not quite enough to save the full show, this was another great main event in a series between any mixture of these guys.

Overall Rating: B. The main event carries the show but there was other good stuff to fill in the night. They made sure to not have as much stuff focusing on Eugene, which helps a lot as well. The problem there though is Eugene has to face HHH at some point and things are going to fall apart from there. Other than that, the only bad things on the show were the Divas and Tomko vs. Rosey, making for a pretty easy night. Now if only Summerslam can live up to the hype.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2000
Location: McKenzie Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to it being Christmas recently. One night late in WCW’s dying days, Raw has a show on Christmas night. If I remember right, Nitro didn’t air and I don’t think many people noticed. This is a few weeks after Armageddon and the 6 man Cell match so we’re rolling towards New Orleans and the Rumble which was very good. Let’s get to it.

And no this isn’t live of course. It was taped the Saturday before.

Here’s Stephanie to open the show. You know, the implants with a McMahon attached. She looks great though. The McMahons are celebrating Christmas at the moment, with Vince volunteering at a soup kitchen in Greenwich and HHH sending Steph here. Even Stephanie is getting into it, making something that reminds her of her mother: a fruitcake. We get a clip from the end of Smackdown, which is Rock and Undertaker arguing over something. Therefore tonight it’s Rock vs. Taker.

She brings out Edge and Christian with Angle as well. Angle is in his first reign as world champion while the Canadians are tag champions. Edge wishes Stephanie a Merry Christmas but they’re sorry that Foley isn’t here due to being fired last week. Christian insults Chattanooga for a bit and talks about Smackdown, which we see a clip from showing Edge pinning Rock to win the tag titles.

Angle does the same but with his own brand of humor. He’s given himself a Christmas gift and has flown out his family. Here’s an army of people that all look like Kurt. He introduces all of his family and all of their accomplishments. He talks about hitting Foley with a chair so the fans chant for Foley. Stephanie reminds us that he’s fired and the fans boo Kurt’s family. They sing Walkin In A Winter Wonderland until Jericho FINALLY cuts them off.

He tells Angle to shut up. Jericho liked the singing but instead it should have been the Twelve Days of Christmas. We have six Angles who will never be a laying, two valley girls and Stephanie, who gets all of her usual insults, in a a pear tree. For Christmas, Jericho wants the world title, and he wants it tonight. Angle yells but Stephanie cuts him off. The title shot is denied but instead it’s a six man: Angle/Canadians vs. Jericho/whatever team Chris wants. Jericho says that’s nice but he didn’t get anything for Stepahanie. What do you get for someone who’s had everyone? Jericho implies the Dudleys will be his partners.

Kurt gives his family a tour of the arena and runs into K-Kwik (R-Truth) and that’s about it.

Hardy Boys vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Benoit is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. In the back, Matt tells Lita to stay in the back because she’ll get hurt. Lita goes anyway. Big brawl to start and Malenko pulls Benoit to the floor. Jeff is like cool man and hits a huge Poetry in Motion to the floor. That looked awesome. Benoit SNAPS off a dragon screw on Jeff’s leg to take over. That looked sick. Malenko works on the knee a bit as well but Jeff gets a SWEET spinning leg sweep cradle for two. A double dropkick puts the Radicalz down and it’s off to Matt. Everything breaks down and Lita hits Dean low. Top rope legdrop ends this.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the knee stuff was great. By that I mean one move but you get the idea. This would lead to Dean getting a date with Lita which wound up in a hotel room and Lita in some very nice lingerie. Anyway, not much to see here but it was nice to get the Hardys away from the Dudleys and Canadians.

Post match Matt gets put in the Texas Cloverleaf and Lita in the Crossface.

Post break Lita is being checked on when Benoit jumps Matt again.

Rock arrives and doesn’t care to hear about his match with Taker.

Debra is still Lieutenant Commissioner but it’s not fun without Foley anymore. She makes a triple threat Hardcore Title match with Raven, Blackman and Holly.

Vince calls Stephanie on voicemail and likes the match. He says he has to do something real quick at the soup kitchen but Trish’s voice is heard giggling.

We get a clip of Austin getting chokeslammed by Kane and then Austin demanding a match with him, which he gets tonight. Austin says he’ll beat Kane up tonight.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Raven vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman is champion. Raven and Holly get into it before Steve gets there. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as it’s your usual one guy gets knocked down, the other two fight, the third makes the save. The challengers fight into the crowd but Blackman beats them both down out there. They go under the stage and into the back where Raven beats up what appears to be some stagehands. They go outside and Raven is thrown down some stairs. Holly finds a random 2×4 and swings at Blackman. He misses though and Blackman hits a German onto the hood of a car to retain.

Rating: D+. As I’ve said before, once you’ve seen one of these matches, you’ve seen them all. It’s just basic brawling with weapons that goes nowhere and then they have the ending. They had beaten this so far into the ground but by keeping it down to like three minutes per match, I think it’s ok.

Blackman is walking back to the locker room but Raven hits him with a board and steals the title.

The XFL is coming. OH YEAH!

Here’s Regal who is European Champion. Little trivia for you: he’s one of only two Europeans to hold that title. He blasts Americans for awhile until Kane comes out for his match. Ok then.

Kane vs. Steve Austin

Brawl to start with Austin hammering him into the corner. Regal is on commentary. A clothesline puts Kane down and another puts him on the floor. Austin gets pulled out there and Kane takes over. Regal gets up for some reason and Austin takes him down as well. Austin stomps on both of them as this is a total brawl. Back in the ring a big boot puts Austin down and they slow down.

A second boot is blocked and Austin goes for the knee. Kane fights back and wraps Austin’s leg around the post. Lawler says Kane is the official first entrant in the Rumble. Back in the top rope clothesline gets two. After a suplex gets two it’s a bearhug. Austin comes back with the Thesz Press and the elbow. Chokeslam, Stunner and Tombstone are countered until a Stunner hits. Regal pops up on the apron and Kane gets up. Regal finally gets in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was fine. It was just a brawl that ran about seven and a half minutes and that’s all it really needed to be. The interesting thing is you could easily compare this to a lot of Cena’s matches on Raw today. There wasn’t anything to it for the most part and there wasn’t supposed to be. However Cena gets blasted for it and Austin is one of the most popular stars ever. Go figure.

Regal tries to bring in a chair but Austin clocks both guys with it instead.

Taker says he isn’t surprised by having to fight Rock later. He says Rock has the bark but he has the bite. Taker is still face here.

Cue The Kat in a robe. She has a gift with her. She gets in front of the announce table and grabs a mic. The gift is for JR and it’s the latest Divas video. As for King, Kat gets on the table and pulls the robe open to reveal some red lingerie. She shows the crowd too. Jerry gets a kiss also.

Stephanie barges in on T&A who says Trish isn’t here. She leaves and they imply Trish is with Vince.

Angle calls his parents as his brothers/cousin watch. Well that was pointless.

Too Cool vs. T&A

Grandmaster vs. Test to start. Stephanie comes out to watch, probably because of the jokes T&A made after she left. Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick and it’s off to Scotty so he can get beaten up for awhile. Albert comes in and Scott can’t do anything. Baldo (Albert) Bomb gets two as Grandmaster makes the save. Scotty gets in some kicks and a forearm to set up a double tag. Everything breaks down and Scotty sets for the Worm. Test kicks Scotty’s head off after it hits. He sets for the ending but Stephanie distracts him, allowing Grandmaster to roll up Test for the win.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this one at all. This whole show has felt like it’s just a labor to get through and that’s not good. To be fair though it’s Christmas night so it’s not like anyone is watching. Stephanie came in to mess with them, presumably to cost Trish’s team, but this went nowhere.

Post break, Albert comes in to talk with Stephanie. He offers his services to Stephanie for whatever she needs.

Chris Jericho/Dudley Boys vs. Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian

Jericho and Christian start things off. The fans want tables and Jericho tries a quick Walls attempt but settles for a slingshot into a rollup for two instead. D-Von and Edge come in and things speed up. Bubba comes in and does his always funny yelling. What’s Up to Edge. It’s Table Time already and everything breaks down on the outside. Edge hammers on Bubba but it’s quickly off to Christian.

The beating goes on for about 20 seconds before it’s off to Jericho and Angle. Jericho gets in a fight with Angle’s family who is all in the front row. The Dudleys put one of them through a table. The Dudleys and the Canadians fight up the ramp and Jericho hits a missile dropkick for no cover but the Lionsault eats knees. Angle Slam (and a good one too) beats Jericho.

Rating: C. This was going on so fast that it was hard to tell if it was good or bad. It certainly wasn’t boring and the big stuff looked pretty good. I liked it for the most part but much like the rest of this show and the show overall, it came and went and that’s all there really is to say about it.

The Angle family beats him down but the Dudleys make the save.

Edge and Christian say they’ll get the Dudleys for what they did.

Right to Censor vs. APA

It’s Buchanan/Godfather this time. Buchanan gives a very southern promo, talking about how evil the Dudleys are. Bradshaw starts with Godfather and the beating begins. Farrooq and Buchanan come in and the bald one takes a spinebuster. Bradshaw comes in and runs people over, including a top rope shoulder. Ivory interferes and Jackie runs her over. They get in the ring because Jackie has to get on my nerves at least once a year. Val Venis uses the distraction to run in and DDT Bradshaw. A Buchanan legdrop ends this. The match was nothing.

We get a video of Chyna taking a spike piledriver and injuring her neck. She had an MRI so we get a sitdown interview with her. Short version: I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m successful outside the ring, I don’t like RTC, I’ll be back but not against men. Somehow that took six minutes.

Rock is in the back and cuts Kevin Kelly off because they are chanting his name. He gives his version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and sings to Undertaker a bit too.

Undertaker vs. The Rock

I’ve never really seen these two have a good match so maybe this is the exception. Taker pounds him down and knocks Rock to the floor with one punch. Rock gets dropped onto the barricade and the table as JR is running out of room to run. Back in the ring Rock fires off a few rights and the jumping clothesline to take over. Swinging neckbreaker gets no cover but a Russian legsweep gets two.

Taker gets in a big boot and pounds away on the back. They mess up something so Taker hits a side slam for two. DDT by Rock gets two. More back work by Taker and this match isn’t breaking the streak these two have. Oh joy: it’s a bearhug. Rock fights out and now Taker hits a DDT of his own for two. Chokeslam and Rock Bottom are countered but a chokeslam hits. No cover though because he wants a Last Ride. And here’s Rikishi to interfere. Spinebuster to Taker but Rikishi pulls the top rope down and Rock wins by REALLY LAME DQ.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. They walked around, punched each other a lot, and that’s about it. The really bad ending didn’t help anything at all but hey, Rikishi is a top heel right? They don’t really give a reason or a thought as to whether or not it would work, but he was the next guy to feud with Rock I believe. Give me a break.

Rikishi stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. OH MAN thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in longer than I can remember. Nothing happened here, no one cared, no one wanted to be on the show it seemed, and nothing here would have seemed to have mattered. That being said, it’s unlikely anyone watched it but if one person did, it beat Nitro that night. Horrible show though.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 19, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the road to Summerslam and the big story coming out of last week saw Evolution beat down pretty much everyone in sight, including Eugene. I’m not sure how this is going to go anywhere other than more HHH time, but why mess with what has worked so well? For HHH that is of course. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chris Benoit successfully defending the World Title against Eugene last week, leading to Evolution destroying the two of them plus William Regal. At least they finally got to the logical part of this rather over complicated story.

Say it with me: here’s HHH to open things up. HHH says he’s not too proud of what he did last week and it was probably even below him. It made him feel rotten but once he thought about it, of course he felt better because it’s just Eugene. He knows Eugene isn’t here tonight so get close to the TV and understand this: HHH hates him and so does Evolution. Everyone here hates Eugene and is embarrassed by him, even his mom.

Eugene has no business being here because he isn’t normal. Just in case Eugene still doesn’t get it, here’s a clip from after Raw with Regal and Benoit checking on Eugene and crying as he was taken out on a stretcher. HHH: “There’s no crying in wrestling!” This brings out Eric Bischoff, who is so proud of HHH that he’s giving him another World Title shot next week. As I sigh heavily, Bischoff makes it even worse by making it a sixty minute Iron Man match.

HHH has a busy night next week so he can have tonight off while Benoit faces Batista. After HHH promises some violence, here’s Regal to interrupt. He doesn’t like what HHH and Bischoff have done so the fight is on with Regal beating the heck out of HHH and sending him into the steps. Security takes him away and Regal’s bugging out eyes are a great visual, as tends to be the case for him.

Sylvan Grenier vs. Tajiri

Robert Conway and Rhyno are the seconds. Tajiri comes out to interrupt the French National Anthem and starts a USA chant so we can get going. A cartwheel kick…I think misses but Grenier goes down anyway, meaning it’s time for some more kicking until Conway offers a distraction. Grenier gets in a suplex to take over and it’s off to the corner for some shoulders to the ribs.

A slam sets up the chinlock, which of course brings Tajiri right back to life. The handspring elbow sets up a superkick for two on Grenier and the Tarantula makes things even worse. The referee goes after Rhyno for some reason, allowing Conway to get in a flag shot. Grenier hits a faceplant and grabs the tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This was shockingly watchable and the best Grenier match I’ve ever seen (ok so there have been like two) with a decent little story and some nice action. That’s about as good as you can ask for from these two and the eventual title match should be fine. For an opening match, this was a rather nice little surprise.

Video on the weekend’s house shows. Attendance must be down again.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and the guests are the ten finalists in the Diva Search. Jericho plugs the voting opening tonight where you can pick your favorite but the one with the fewest votes is gone. The women get to introduce themselves and we have Michelle (McCool), Christy (Hemme), Julie (from Kentucky, as people should be), Camille, Maria (Kanellis), Tracie, Carmella (DeCesare), Chandra (the twin of the other one from Kentucky), Amy (Weber) and Joy (Giovanni), all of whom are booed out of the building.

Jericho gets to the point of tonight: there’s an immunity envelope in Eric Bischoff’s office and they’re all going to destroy the place to find it. Jericho marches them through the building to the office (Jericho: “I’m the Pied Piper but they’re not rats!”) and they eventually wreck the whole place, including going through Bischoff’s briefcase. This goes on way too long of course and I’m sure the fans who paid for tickets to the show are thrilled to watch a bad reality show segment on a video screen. King has a good question: “What does the immunity envelope look like?”

That’s not actually answered, but here’s Bischoff to yell at all of them for wrecking the office. As it turns out, there is no envelope because Bischoff is in charge of the whole contest and came up with the whole idea. They admit that Jericho put them up to it while doing their model stances and smirking through the entire thing. This is up there on the list of all time worst ideas in Raw history and it’s only going to get worse.

Tyson Tomko vs. Hurricane

Tomko has Trish with him so Hurricane debuts Stacy Keibler as his new manager. Stacy offers an early distraction but Tomko is fine enough to slam Hurricane off the top. The Blockbuster gets Hurricane out of trouble for a bit and a running dropkick sends Tomko into the corner. Trish goes after Hurricane so he grabs her hair, allowing Tomko to kick Hurricane in the face for the pin. Why debut the new manager if he’s going to lose in less than two minutes?

Post match Trish hits Stacy with the cast but here’s Rosey, now with an actual superhero costume, for the save. You could have done the same thing without Hurricane losing that way.

HHH talks to Batista about his upcoming match.

King reads some excerpts from Ric Flair’s book where he buries Bret Hart and Mick Foley. Probably just jealous that their books are better.

Chris Benoit vs. Batista

Non-title. The early chops just annoy Batista so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplexes instead. Batista is up too fast for the Swan Dive so Benoit goes with a basement dropkick. That doesn’t work either so Batista grabs a backbreaker to take him down. Benoit takes him down and tries a Sharpshooter but gets kicked away. The big German suplex sends Batista outside so Benoit tries the Crossface out there.

Since that would be a big waste of time, Batista shrugs him off and into the post to really take over. Back in and Batista chokes away before raining down right hands to the head. The fans get behind Benoit so Batista crushes his head with a knee. With Benoit’s comebacks getting on his nerves, Batista ties his foot on the rope and kicks Benoit in the head….for a DQ.

Rating: C+. That’s how you make Batista look like a monster as Benoit, even at his best, couldn’t do anything to stop him. Batista looked awesome here with some of the best stuff he’s done so far. His improvements over the last year, or even six months, have been nothing short of remarkable as he’s turned into one of the better monsters I’ve seen in a long time. Very entertaining match here, with Batista getting a lot out of it.

Post match Batista beats on Benoit even more, drawing some cheers (hometown boy might have something to do with it). JR points out that Batista never tried to pin him, because that wasn’t the point of the match.

During the break, Benoit could barely stand.

Lita talks to Matt Hardy in the back but he doesn’t have time for this whole thing. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation, which Lita can understand. One way or another, with or without him though, she’s having the baby. Has no one gotten a blood test yet?

Randy Orton isn’t happy with hearing about his loss because Edge is a fluke. Edge’s first Intercontinental Title reign lasted one day and Orton’s lasted seven months. Edge comes in and talks about Orton having self esteem issues. Edge: “I’d have self esteem issues too if my dad made his career being Roddy Piper’s personal b****.” The rematch is set for tonight.

How to vote in the Diva Search. This is edited out of the Network version.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho goes straight at him to start and Kane charges into a raised boot in the corner. That just annoys Kane, who drops some elbows for two. Kane misses a charge in the corner though and Jericho nails a top rope back elbow for two of his own. The Lionsault hurts Jericho’s knee though and they head outside where Jericho posts him a few times. An enziguri is enough to get Kane counted out in a bit of a surprising finish.

It’s so surprising that Bischoff says we’ll redo it as a falls count anywhere match with no countouts or DQ. Back from a break with Kane in control but getting low bridged to the floor. That means a big dive off the top for two on the floor so Kane drops him face first onto the barricade for the same. They fight into the crowd with Kane sending him into a barricade for two. A drop toehold sends Kane face first into a hockey board and a camera crane to the face makes it a lot worse. Cue Batista to blast Jericho with the clothesline and Kane gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here with Batista again getting a nice rub. Jericho could go toe to toe with Kane for a good while but Batista takes him out with a single clothesline? Speaking of which, it’s a clothesline, but they’re getting it over by having it be devastating. That’s the case with any move: let it win matches and the move will be over because wins and losses still matter to fans.

We go to some highlights from the Diva Search Casting Special, where all ten were chosen. In other words, it’s an excuse to have them all in swimsuits. That’s all well and good for one of these specials but keep it far off Raw, especially with the long segments.

Here they are again, this time in bikinis. In case you haven’t established that they look great yet.

Smackdown Rebound.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Edge

Edge is defending after winning the title last week. Orton takes him down in very short order and it’s already a staredown. This time it’s Edge wrestling him down and it’s an exchange of waistlocks. They both try dropkicks for another stalemate until Orton sends Edge to the apron where he snaps Randy’s arm over the rope. Orton takes him to the floor and drops Edge back first onto the barricade to send Edge into the crowd. That allows Orton to pose a bit (a specialty) before we take a break.

Back with Orton twisting Edge’s neck and dropping a knee for two. The chinlock goes on so Orton can rip at Edge’s face until the comeback is on. They hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown but Edge scores with a big boot. An Oklahoma roll gives Edge two and he spears Orton out to the floor for a crash into the barricade. Back in and Edge scores with the missile dropkick for two more.

The regular spear misses so Edge settles for a neckbreaker for another near fall. The referee gets bumped and that means it’s time to grab a chair. Edge cuts him down with the spear but there’s still no referee. Orton’s low blow into an RKO gets the very slow two and Edge is right back with another spear for another near fall. Another RKO is countered into a backslide and Edge throws his feet onto the ropes for the pin (cheating again).

Rating: B. I liked it better than the Vengeance match because it cut out the long and boring sequence at the start to get us straight to the awesome stuff that these two can do against each other. Edge cheating is still weird to see in his current run, but hopefully it’s leading somewhere. Good, solid, back and forth match here as both guys continue to look great.

Edge points to his head and the announcers plug the Iron Man match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The Diva Search stuff killed the show but Batista got a nice push and the main event was very good. Other than that though, it’s a pretty forgettable show without much of interest going on. HHH going after the World Title again was expected but it was nice to have Eugene gone for a week. He’s already overstayed his welcome (at least this version of him has) so cutting down on him for a week or two is a good idea. Not a very good show, but it had good parts when you ignore all the bad ideas.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 12, 2004
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and while Chris Benoit is still World Champion, the big story is HHH (yeah yeah of course it is) and Eugene, who cost HHH the title with an accidental chair shot. I’m sure we now get to see the REAL HHH as he wants to get his revenge for his plan screwing up, which will in no way shape or form dominate the show for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Evolution in the back with HHH saying hands off Eugene tonight because he gets him first. Batista wants him first because he had to take Eugene to Chuck E. Cheese. Everyone protests and HHH says he had it worst out of all of them because he’s HHH and it’s always about him. A very sad looking Eugene comes in but HHH smiles at him. Everyone makes mistakes and friends are friends. HHH isn’t mad at him but Eric Bischoff probably is.

Eugene has to go see him now and leaves, so Orton asks the obvious question: when do we get to go to Chuck E. Cheese? Or maybe that’s what I’d ask. Orton asks WHY ARE THEY NOT DESTROYING EUGENE (I’d like to know myself) but HHH says that once they see what Bischoff has in mind for Eugene, it’ll make sense. So if HHH knows, why is he not telling them? You mean this hasn’t been mentioned all day? I know HHH likes to have these huge schemes but at this point, it’s getting so stupid that it’s out of character for him.

Opening sequence.

Edge vs. Batista

Non-title. JR and King are already putting over Orton vs. Edge as an all time classic and I still don’t get it. Yeah it was long, but that doesn’t mean it was some masterpiece, especially with that much chinlocking. Batista shoves him down a few times to start so Edge tries a headlock for the slightest bit more of success. By that I mean it lasts all of ten seconds before Batista shoves him away again. This time it’s some right hands to the head for little effect as Batista gets in his own shot to the head to take over.

Choking both in the corner and on the ropes fire Edge up for some reason and it’s a middle rope ax handle to stagger Batista. A hard whip into the corner slows Edge down but he drop toeholds Batista face first into the middle buckle. Edge dropkicks him out to the floor and here’s Orton as we take a break. Back with Batista cranking on both arms and Orton already having been ejected. Geez Earl give him some time.

Edge fights up and King starts plugging the upcoming Divas Search segment. A side slam plants the champ again and we hit the camel clutch (which shows off Batista’s wedding ring). Batista lets go so he can shout at Edge and crash down onto his back again, because he’s learning how to be a villain just that fast. The Edge O Matic gets Edge out of trouble again and the Edgecution connects for two.

Batista sidesteps the spear though and it’s a spinebuster for two more. A Stunner over the ropes drops Batista one more time and a missile dropkick gives Edge yet another near fall. Edge tries the spear again but gets caught in a spinebuster, only to climb over Batista and roll him up with a grab of the rope for the pin.

Rating: B. Total heel move here for Edge, as he and Batista were even again after Orton’s quick ejection. I know it’s not a heel turn but that was about as clear cheating as you can get. That issue aside, this was a heck of a match here with Batista looking WAY ahead of where he should be at this stage of his career. He’s picked it up in a very fast hurry and he’s becoming a lot of fun to watch every time he’s out there. Edge needing to cheat to win is a great sign for Batista and a sign that WWE understands that Edge’s face run isn’t exactly working.

Eugene comes in to see Bischoff….who is very proud of him. He was proud of Eugene for doing a great job last week so tonight, Eugene can have a title shot against Benoit. So HHH’s plan is to have Eugene win the title, likely through help from Evolution, and then take the title himself. In other words, exactly what Vengeance should have been but with Evolution destroying Benoit instead of Eugene? Am I missing something here?

Lawler is on the stage and gets to introduce three of the finalists in the Diva Search before the casting special on Thursday. First up is Candice Michelle, who was in Dodgeball and will be in the Lingerie Bowl. That gets a reaction, even though it’s about seven months away. Oh and she can touch her tongue to her nose. I guess we get to waste time with the others later.

Flair isn’t happy about Eugene getting a title shot but he’s happy about his autobiography being a success. He’s still not done ranting about Eugene though because last week he played Ring Around the Rosey. Again, it was a bunch of chairs in a ring and Rosey was nowhere to be seen. Hurricane comes in to say that while he shouldn’t be seen conversing with Flair, he’d like an autograph in his copy of Flair’s book.

Flair says not so fast because Hurricane is a joke in a stupid costume. Hurricane isn’t even upset because it’s not as good as Rock’s book. Or Hogan’s book. Or even CHYNA’S book. Dang when is the last time you heard her name on Raw? Flair drops him with one punch and the match is made for tonight. Ric punching out a comedy guy seems like the most Flair thing he could do.

Rhyno vs. Robert Conway

Tajiri is here to counter Sylvan Grenier. Rhyno gets caught in a headlock to start and a hair pull takes him down to the mat. Conway sends him outside for some assisted stomping and it’s already off to the chinlock. Rhyno’s comeback doesn’t take long and it’s a backdrop into a belly to belly for two. The spinebuster makes things worse but Grenier grabs Rhyno’s foot. Tajiri SMASHES him in the back of the head with a kick (that looked great) and now the Gore connects to give Rhyno the pin.

Rating: D. No time for this to go anywhere but it did what it needed to do and an awesome kick to the head. It’s not like there are any other teams to fight for the titles at the moment and Tajiri and Rhyno don’t have anything else going on. There’s nothing wrong with throwing two people together into a team, even if it’s for a one off title match.

Tyson Tomko vs. Maven

Trish Stratus and Nidia are here as well. Tomko throws him around to start and gets two off a fall away slam. Nidia grabs the foot though and it’s time for some stalking, allowing Maven to knock him off the apron. Back in and Tomko drops him throat first across the top but gets dropkicked for two. A Trish distraction doesn’t work and Tomko kicks Maven in the head for the pin. Way messier than it should have been but as bad as I was expecting.

William Regal comes in to see Benoit and says that while he knows Benoit doesn’t like him, Eugene is a different story. HHH and Evolution are inside Eugene’s head and Regal just wants him to be ok. Benoit cares about Eugene but tonight it’s about the World Heavyweight Title and he’ll do whatever it takes to retain. Regal looks nervous.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Jericho lists off some of his career accomplishments but last week he topped it all by winning MUSICAL CHAIRS BABY! As fun as that was, we have some serious issues to deal with tonight. That’s why we’re dealing with things right here, so here’s Kane as the first guest. Kane, with the mic not working very well, says he doesn’t like Jericho making fun of him. Other than that though, he’s not happy with Lita for costing him the match at Vengeance against Matt Hardy.

Kane demands she come out here right now so here’s Lita. She’s made him angry and bad things happen when he gets angry. Lita doesn’t want to hear about this because Kane isn’t going to do a thing. If Kane wants to talk about suffering, it’s possibly being impregnated by a man you despise. Or having the one man you love not speaking to you. Or waking up not knowing who the father of your baby is. Kane smiles and says he’ll just take this out on Matt because he has the power to create and end life. Lita still isn’t scared because Kane couldn’t be the baby’s father since he’s not man enough to be.

She leaves so Kane starts breaking things, with Jericho going over to save the Jeritron 5000. Kane throws him out and leaves but Jericho wants to fight. Jericho accuses Kane of leaving prematurely, just like everything else he does prematurely. Jericho: “You just got punked out by a chick! Lawler, you can cancel this Diva Search because we just found a winner!” The insults keep coming until a question about Kane’s manhood bring him back.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Joined in progress with Kane holding a chinlock until Jericho fights up and dropkicks him into the corner. A high crossbody gives Jericho two but Kane drops him throat first across the top. Jericho’s ribs are bent around the post and a side slam sets up a weird looking cover for two. Some knees to the back keep Jericho in trouble and the bearhug makes it even worse.

Jericho fights up and hits a running crotch attack to the back, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air and they’re both down. Back up and Jericho avoids a running big boot in the corner so the Walls can go on. That lasts all of five seconds as Kane is too close to the rope. And with nothing else working, Kane punches him low for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here until the ending. It’s a good idea to have Kane switch over to fighting someone else instead of facing Hardy again the night after losing to him at Vengeance. That’s something that WWE almost refuses to do today. Let them have a one off match like this to keep the feud a little more fresh. Why can’t that be the case more often?

Post match Kane chokeslams Jericho and the referee at the same time.

Lawler brings out the second Diva Search contestant: Nina Harden, who plays to the crowd and smiles a lot. She also makes her own clothes because she’s passionate about them. Lawler has her dance a bit and that’s it, thank goodness. It takes something extra stupid to make a good looking woman dancing boring and they’ve made it work.

Smackdown Rebound.

Ric Flair vs. Hurricane

Hurricane hammers him down to start and that means a Flair Flop. Back up and Flair sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Chops set up the knee drop and it’s right back to the arm in a smart move. Hurricane fights back and sends him over the corner for the Flair Flip to the floor and Flair’s ear is bleeding.

A low blow gets Flair out of trouble but Hurricane kicks him in the face. The Blockbuster gets two so Hurricane goes up again, allowing Flair to crotch him back down. The standard leg work begins but this time Flair takes him outside for a right hand to the knee to add a little flavor. A knee drop sets up the Figure Four and Hurricane taps completely clean.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one with Flair just doing his old stuff and winning clean. The problem is that it’s Flair in there with a guy like Hurricane, who should be more than a guy tapping out to Flair in 2004. This was pretty lame stuff and felt like filler, which isn’t a good sign for someone who is part of the top heel faction.

Clip from a Smackdown Your Vote rally.

It’s time for the third Diva Search hopeful: Carmella DeCesare, who talks about her puppies. They would be a chocolate lab and a poodle. Lawler: “That’s great. Whatever.” She really wants to work for Vince McMahon and her special talent is being the 2004 Playmate of the Year. A quick hello to Hugh Hefner wraps this up, thank goodness.

Benoit interrupts Eugene’s chat with a stuffed animal and says he wants a clean wrestling match tonight. Eugene seems hesitant but agrees.

Raw World Title: Eugene vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending. JR says Benoit went 38 minutes last night against HHH. The match wasn’t even half an hour so I don’t know where they got that one, though HHH matches do have a history of feeling like they’re going on forever. Eugene tries to chop with Benoit to start and actually claps after getting the skin ripped off his chest. A belly to back suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time to roll the German suplexes.

It’s way too early for the Swan Dive though and Eugene gets two of his own off the crash. Eugene’s Pedigree attempt is backdropped so he gives Benoit a spinebuster but the People’s Elbow is pulled down into a Sharpshooter. A rope is grabbed in a hurry and Eugene snaps, nailing some right hands for two more.

Eugene rolls some German suplexes and puts on a Crossface (his finishing moves in OVW, where he was basically a Benoit clone) in the middle of the ring. Benoit gets a foot on the ropes so Eugene sends him shoulder first into the post. Lawler: “That was brilliant! I didn’t just say that did I?” The Rock Bottom gives Eugene three, though Benoit’s foot was on the rope. Eugene celebrates with the title….and here’s Evolution to beat both of them down for the no contest.

Rating: D+. And Eugene is done as far as anything entertaining. The problem is that Eugene had a firm ceiling and a very short shelf life. They’ve completely ignored both of those things and put Eugene in so far over his head (the character, not Nick Dinsmore, who could possibly hang in there with a regular gimmick) that there’s no getting out. It was fine when Eugene was having goofy comedy matches with Rob Conway or the Coach, but now he’s going move for move with Chris Benoit.

There’s no logical way that this can work and the charm is gone. Eugene should have maxed out as a comedy guy who occasionally beats a midcard heel. Now he’s the key to the whole World Title picture, even though HHH can’t quite explain why he’s using Eugene instead of, you know, the army that he has at his disposal. The story does make sense if you squint enough, but it’s WAY more complicated than it needs to be. Anyway, the match wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t make sense and I couldn’t get around that.

The big beatdown is on, with Benoit, Eugene (busted open) and an invading William Regal getting destroyed.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show in the world, and it’s very clear that Vengeance was the annual pit stop show on the way to Summerslam. They need to drop the Eugene stuff in a hurry and then find someone fresh to challenge Benoit for the title. The HHH stuff is completely played out (shocking I know) and it’s time for something fresh.

The rest of the show ranged from good with Edge vs. Batista to bleh with Flair vs. Hurricane. Raw is up and down right now and the stuff that used to work isn’t as effective as it once was. It’s not a horrible show or anything but it’s trending in the wrong direction. The good thing is some fresh stories for Summerslam could perk it up, but I’m worried about what happens if they keep hammering these current ones in.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 5, 2004
Location: Winnipeg Arena, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Eugene is in charge tonight and I think you know what that means. The chaos should be in full swing and Eugene is the kind of guy who can make something like that work well. He plays the character so well and actually comes off as the idiot savant that he’s supposed to be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eugene’s face has replaced Bischoff’s after the opening for a positive reception.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ric Flair to join a bunch of other people, with a bunch of chairs, in the ring. We have Flair, Jerry Lawler, Coach, Tajiri, Tyson Tomko and Stacy Keibler and Chris Jericho, the hometown boy, comes out to join them. Eugene comes out to the stage in a blazer and jumps up and down a lot. He’s in charge tonight and wants everyone to have fun. Even Coach! For a special treat tonight, Eugene thought we should have a title match tonight. Jericho gets a loud cheer before Eugene announces that we’re playing Musical Chairs for the title shot.

Stacy is the only one walking at first so of course Lawler follows. The music stops and Tajiri is left out…so he mists Coach before leaving. Coach is blind of the next round and eliminated pretty easily. We’re down to five and Flair takes the jacket off so he can glare at people in Flair fashion. Lawler is out next, even after sitting on Stacy’s lap and then switching places with her.

Flair struts after Stacy and then shoves her down to steal her seat like any villain should do. That leaves us with Tomko, Jericho and Flair, but Ric does a bit too much strutting and is out as well. As the music stops, Jericho pulls the chair away and hits Tomko in the back before having a seat to win the Intercontinental Title shot tonight. This was the kind of fun, wacky thing that they need with Eugene in charge. It just freshens things up a bit, which is something Raw is dying for a lot of the time.

La Resistance vs. Rhyno/Val Venis

Non-title, which at least they’re getting right as of late. The non-champions charge the ring to start and the fight is on in a hurry. Conway gets sent outside and a double shoulder drops Grenier early on. Things settle down with Rhyno getting caught in the corner and choked a lot. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Rhyno scores with a flying shoulder. The hold was broken in there if that wasn’t clear. It’s off to Venis and everything breaks down in a hurry. Rhyno’s Gore is broken up by Grenier with a hard crotching against the post and Au Revoir finishes Venis.

Rating: D. As nothing as Rhyno and Venis were, this is the kind of match that La Resistance can use. They win a quick match and it’s not like they were in any real danger for most of the time. Venis and Rhyno weren’t going to be a threat to the titles and odds are they won’t team again after this, so it’s not like they have anything to lose.

Randy Orton isn’t happy with having to face Jericho tonight but Flair is more upset about playing Ring Around the Rosey. Uh, totally different game there Naitch. Come on. Eugene on the other hand is in his office: a bounce house. He asks Orton about that one time when Kane said he was Eugene’s friend and punched him before bringing up HHH. Batista is worried that Eugene is going to have HHH beat up Kane, but it’s going to be Batista vs. Kane instead.

Eugene: “You remember that one time when La Resistance beat Val Venis and Rhyno?” After Orton explains that it just happened, Eugene makes La Resistance vs. Flair and…..we pause while Eugene plays with action figures. Flair demands to know his partner and of course it’s Eugene. Flair lunges so Eugene retreats into the safety of the bounce house. Wacky fun.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He talks about Chris Benoit winning the title in a miracle at Wrestlemania and the divine intervention that has helped him retain the title since then. Well this Sunday, HHH is going to answer the question of God or evolution and Charles Darwin was right: you can’t stop evolution. No god can stop HHH…and here’s Edge to interrupt. Edge talks about Evolution dominating Raw for over a year and not a lot has changed since he’s been back.

It’s time for a change though, and this Sunday Edge is taking the Intercontinental Title. After that, Edge is taking the team out one by one. Someone has to take a stand and Edge is that man. HHH says that he’s heard it before but he’s still right here on top of the world. HHH: “Nothing changes.” The fight is on with Edge getting the better of it until Evolution chases him off. That’s one of the smarter face moves of the year, because even he’s not dumb enough to fight all four of them at once.

Kane vs. Batista

The power lockup starts us off until Batista hits a running clothesline in the corner. That just earns him a whip into the corner and a side slam for no cover. The spinebuster is no sold and Kane kicks him to the floor, drawing in Matt Hardy for the DQ. Just a means to an angle at the end.

Post match Matt wrecks Kane, sending him into the steps over and over.

Post break Matt says he’s happy with the idea of a No DQ match with Kane on Sunday because he can do even more than he did tonight. Lita is mentioned but Matt won’t talk about her. Instead he awkwardly stares at Todd Grisham for a long time.

Divas Search Los Angeles edition, with Christy Hemme appearing and having more charisma than anyone. Coach seems enamored with most of them in the swimsuit section and….well yeah.

Earlier today, Jericho was named a member of the Order of the Buffalo Hunt, the highest honor in Manitoba. Jericho with long hair in a suit is a weird visual.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Jericho is challenging. Orton gets taken down off an armdrag to start and Jericho throws in a little dance. A battle over a top wristlock doesn’t get Orton very far as he’s thrown into the corner to keep the pro-Jericho chants going. Jericho suplexes him down and gets two off the arrogant cover. Something out of the corner gets dropkicked out of the air though and we’re off to the neck crank as the fans think Orton sucks.

Not being happy with the chants, Orton sends Jericho to the apron but takes too long posing, allowing Jericho to come off the top with a back elbow to the jaw for two. The running enziguri gets the same with Orton getting his foot on the ropes. With that not working, Jericho backdrops him over the top and out to the floor. Cue Batista for a distraction and we take a break.

Back with Jericho hammering away in the corner until Batista low bridges him out to the floor. Jericho goes arm first into the post and the fans are all over Batista in a hurry. Back in and Orton starts kicking away before the light bulb goes off and he wraps the arm around the ropes. The armbar goes on for a bit with Orton pulling him back down by the air. Some knees to the arm keep Jericho in trouble and it’s right back to the armbar, though a different kind. It’s nice to see things get mixed up a bit as there’s no reason to have the same stuff over and over.

Back up and a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and the fans have some hope. Jericho scores with a flying forearm but Orton cuts him off with the backbreaker. The swinging sleeper drop gives Jericho a near fall of his own but the shoulder gets sent hard into the post again. Orton’s high crossbody gets two and the fans are right back into it after the kickout. The bulldog drops Orton but Jericho has to dropkick Batista. He’s fine enough to counter the RKO into the Walls and the fans are going NUTS. Another Batista distraction breaks the hold though and Orton rolls him up with feet on the ropes to retain.

Rating: B-. The fans helped carry this one a little further than it would have gone otherwise and that’s not the worst thing in the world. Jericho winning the title was pretty much out of the question here but at least he didn’t lose clean, which can set up a rematch down the line. Orton still can’t make a full match like this work, but he’s getting the important parts, such as the strong finish, down.

HHH joins Eugene in the bounce house and they make an unspecified deal. That’s enough for HHH to leave with Flair helping him up. Apparently HHH was in there for twenty minutes and didn’t get around to breaking up the Eugene/Flair team. Flair: “We could lose! Or worse yet, we could win!” HHH’s plan is more about the World Title though, because tonight it’s Flair/HHH/Eugene vs. Edge/Benoit. Everyone will see his plan after tonight.

Smackdown Rebound.

Victoria vs. Nidia vs. Molly Holly

Envelope on a pole match with the winner getting a shot at Trish Stratus at some point in the future. Therefore, Trish is out on commentary along with Tyson Tomko. Nidia goes straight for the pole and gets pulled down just as fast. Molly knocks Victoria outside but gets elbowed off the top. The delay is enough for Victoria to get back up and kick Molly in the head to put all three down again. Molly knocks both of them to the floor and hits a slingshot dive on Victoria to keep her in trouble. Back in and Molly plants Victoria with a superplex but Nidia climbs up and gets the contract.

Rating: D-. This was just a step above the Vince Russo era with no particular reason for it to be a pole match, other than Nidia not being the best in the ring in the first place. I’m not sure why I’d want to see her get a title shot, but to be fair they need something fresh in the women’s division after the same matches over and over.

Post match Trish, with a broken wrist, comes out and says Nidia can have a shot when Trish is ready. Trish knocks her cold with the cast and says she’s ready.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Nidia

Pin in three seconds to retain. Thank goodness they booked a match that they could blow off two minutes later. That’s just what the show needed.

Divas Search: Los Angeles, with unnamed women being worried about moving on to the next round. Candice Michelle and Christy Hemme both made the cut.

Vengeance rundown.

Trish and Tomko come up to Lita in the back and ask about morning sickness. Lita doesn’t say anything back so they leave, but not before this from Trish: “And they call me a sl**.”

HHH praises Eugene for his job tonight but brings up Edge wanting to tear Evolution down. Eugene doesn’t like that so HHH tells him about how Edge and Benoit represent everyone who has ever been mean to him. Tonight, Eugene needs to be mean to them. Hugging ensues and they agree to be best friends tonight.

HHH/Ric Flair/Eugene vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Benoit wants to start with HHH but gets Eugene instead in a smart move from the villains. An early high five to Flair doesn’t constitute a tag so Benoit and Eugene try some technical work instead. Eugene is more than capable of hanging with Benoit though and drives him into the corner as JR goes into one of his trademark anti-HHH rants. Benoit reverses though and decks HHH and Flair, which isn’t something you do with Eugene around.

Now we get the HHH vs. Benoit showdown with a facebuster looking to set up an early Pedigree. It’s too early of course though and Benoit reverses into a Crossface with Eugene making the save. Benoit gets sent into the steps and we take a break. Back with Benoit still in trouble, including HHH putting on the sleeper. A belly to back suplex gets Benoit out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Edge for some backdrops and a top rope double clothesline. The spear cuts Flair down and a forearm hits Eugene…by mistake? Even though it’s Edge’s opponent?

Eugene tries to come in but HHH holds him back so Flair can take over on Edge. It’s time to start working on the arm, with HHH telling Eugene to break the arm, which seems a step too far for him. The fans think Eugene sucks as HHH and Flair come in for a distraction as Edge tags Benoit. Therefore it’s Edge being dragged back into the corner so the beating can continue, including a Flair strut this time.

One WOO too many allows Edge to get in an enziguri and Benoit gets to come in and unload. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and the Swan Dive connects, with Flair breaking up the count in a hurry. Edge takes Flair to the floor but misses a charge to send him over the barricade.

Benoit knocks down both Eugene and the referee at the same time but is still able to knock a chair out of HHH’s hand. Eugene grabs the chair and pulls it back at Benoit, who manages to talk him out of it. HHH tries to Pedigree Benoit but gets reversed into the Sharpshooter for the unseen tap. At HHH’s urging, Eugene hits Benoit with the chair to break it up. The booing ensues as HHH pins Benoit.

Rating: C+. Another match focused on storytelling instead of the wrestling for the most part but the talent involved was more than enough to make it watchable. The Eugene push is starting to blow up in their faces though as there’s only so much that can be done before the fans just get tired of him. Eugene was a very fun character, but having him as the focal point of the show and involved in the top story is a bit much for someone like him.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was back and forth all night. It started off strong and had a pair of good matches, but stuff like the Divas Search eating up time and the Eugene story being hammered into our heads didn’t do it any favors. There is still good stuff going on around here, but very simply put, we need a break from HHH. Unfortunately, I can’t imagine that’s the case anytime soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 21, 2004
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a big night here, at least in a way, as HHH is facing Eugene with a shot at Chris Benoit at Vengeance on the line. I’m not sure what happens if Eugene wins but I’m sure we’ll find out in a segment that probably goes on longer than it needs to. You can also guarantee all kinds of interference and shenanigans in the main event so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap from last week with the setup to HHH vs. Eugene. Everyone but Eugene knows that HHH is up to something but Eugene believes HHH when he swears that they’re friends. Regal’s sneer during all of this is great as he and Jericho just don’t want to break Eugene’s heart.

Opening sequence.

We open big with the Rock making a surprise appearance, which certainly wakes the crowd up. Rock finally says he’s back home but is willing to stop for one more ROCKY chant. Since Rock is home tonight, he brought some friends and family, including his wife, mother and grandmother, to the front row. He also points out some Miami Dolphins and Miami Hurricanes with Rock making some jokes about the Dolphins’ defense. See, he’s standing in a ring right now, which the Dolphins might get one day.

As for tonight though, he’d like Eugene to come out here but gets Randy Orton instead. Apparently Eugene isn’t here yet because HHH is driving him over to the arena. Orton is glad that he and Rock are getting a chance to talk though, because all he can remember is beating Rock and Mick Foley at Wrestlemania. It’s too bad that Orton has surpassed Rock in every way but Rock doesn’t think much of him. He points out the rather rude chants the fans are shouting at Orton before praising Orton a bit.

Rock remembers meeting Orton’s dad and grandaddy but also remembers his own dad and granddaddy laying some smackdown. Even Rock’s grandmother beat up Orton’s grandmammy (and looks like she still could). Rock even remembers Randy as a kid, playing with a pretty little pony. Orton got so scared that he ran past Andre the Giant and Junkyard Dog but landed right on King Kong Bundy’s crotch. Rock is ready to fight right now but Orton isn’t ready.

That just gets him beaten up anyway but here’s Eric Bischoff to say not so fast and have Rock ejected. Rock leaves (To Bischoff: “No wonder WCW went out of business.”) and keeps the mic as he goes through the curtain, where he hits on Trish Stratus, makes fun of Tyson Tomko, takes off Molly’s wig, gives Hurricane and Rosey a doughnut….and then finds Coach.

Rock demands that Coach smile and then leaves him hanging. He goes to his waiting truck and guarantees that Eugene wins tonight. Back in the arena, Orton says to cut Rock’s mic, but Rock promises something bad happening in three seconds. That would be a spear from Edge which leaves Orton leaving as Rock drives away. This was really long and completely entertaining throughout, which is much better than a long HHH promo.

Bischoff demands that security keep Rock out when Chris Benoit comes in. Benoit begs for Eugene’s safety and even offers a title shot for HHH for the sake of letting Eugene out of this. Bischoff turns him down and threatens to have Benoit thrown out.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and has Tomko with him. Victoria wastes no time in knocking her down and hitting the standing moonsault. A trip to the floor lets Tomko offer a distraction though and Victoria gets knocked off the apron. Back in and Trish hammers away with some right hands as I keep thinking that the red steps in the crowd are empty seats.

Trish kicks her down and mocks the dancing (Jerry doesn’t seem to mind) but gets rolled up for two instead of trying the moonsault. A chinlock keeps Victoria in trouble for all of a few seconds until she gets up with a kick to the face. The moonsault connects but Tomko pulls Trish out at two. Back up and Trish grabs a rollup, and a rope, to retain.

Rating: C-. They were trying here, though the ending and the time didn’t do them any favors. This gets us past Victoria as the challenger trying to get her title back, which wasn’t going to be an interesting story in the first place. That being said, it’s better to have a lame story than no story at all, which tends to be the case more often than not.

Post match Victoria wants to fight some more but gets stared down by Tomko. A man in drag (clearly Steven Richards) pulls her out and a four way staredown ensues.

Diva Search: Chicago edition. An unnamed Maria Kanellis is included.

Recap of Kane destroying Shawn Michaels last week.

William Regal comes in to see Bischoff and asks him for mercy. That’s not happening because Bischoff has too many people to answer to, including his sister. He can’t fire Eugene because Eugene has to quit, and what better way to get him to do so than by having HHH beat him senseless? Regal snaps, saying that he may be a dirty rotten scoundrel but he loves Eugene. Bischoff likes his toughness and puts Regal back on the active roster, next.

William Regal vs. Kane

This is Regal’s first match in over a year (due to having a bad heart condition where the sides of his heart weren’t beating in time with each other) and he’s in street clothes. Regal meets him on the floor before the bell and slugs away but gets kicked in the face. That’s enough to knock Regal out and there’s no match.

Post break Bischoff tells Kane that since HHH is getting the title shot at Vengeance (Wait, then what is the point of tonight’s main event?) and that might be against Kane, who is facing Benoit for the title next week. Kane is pleased, but says he’s not done tonight. Evil laughter ensues.

More Divas Search stuff, this time with some of them moving on and some being cut. Maria (still unnamed) talks about how nerve racking it is. She advances, seemingly after saying all of two words. I believe Carmella DeCesare is included as well.

Randy Orton/Batista vs. Chris Jericho/Edge

Stuff like this has worked for months and it’s nice to see it continuing. Edge and Batista get things going with Edge having to go with quickness for a change. That just earns him some knees to the ribs in the corner and it’s off to Orton. Edge dropkicks him down in a hurry and a suplex gets two. That’s enough for Orton so Batista comes back in and hammers away in the corner. A slow charge lets Edge drop toehold him face first into the middle buckle though and that’s enough for the hot tag to Jericho.

Chris gets smart by knocking Orton off the apron and going for Batista’s leg but it’s way too early for the Walls. Instead it’s a running bulldog to set up the Lionsault (with Batista being so far across the ring that I didn’t think Jericho could reach him) with Orton making the save. Everything breaks down and the Canadians clear the ring, with Edge baseball sliding Orton. That leaves Edge on the floor though and Batista blasts Jericho with the big clothesline.

That’s enough for Jericho and he has to be taken to the back, leaving Edge down two on one as we take a break. Back with Orton grabbing a chinlock (well duh) as the fans are trying to cheer Edge to his feet. It’s a bit of a delayed reaction but Edge eventually gets up and grabs a small package for two. Orton misses a dropkick to make things even worse but there’s no one for Edge to tag.

There is someone for Orton to tag though and it’s off to Batista, who walks right into the Edge-O-Matic. That means it’s already back to Orton for the slugout with Edge getting the better of it. A double spear in the corner hits Batista and Orton at the same time and Batista is sent outside. The RKO is broken up and the regular spear gets two with Batista making a save. A Batista Bomb and the RKO finally put Edge (bleeding from the eye) away.

Rating: B-. The handicap part was a bit odd, until you remember that Edge and Jericho (along with Rock and Regal) are people who could help Eugene later and all four of them have been taken out. Evolution vs. the World (mostly meaning Canada) has been a winning formula for weeks now and this was more good stuff, though the lack of Benoit hurt things a little bit.

More from the Diva Search. This time they’re in swimsuits and some of them are dancing. I think you get the idea here.

Earlier today, a Congressman joined a voting rally with some WWE people, focusing on voters 18-30.

Stacy Keibler runs up to Matt Hardy and wants all the details on his Lita being pregnant. You know, because she’s been so close to the two of them over the years. Matt has a ring though and a proposal is imminent, but Stacy is sworn to secrecy. They really need to work on this secret stuff.

Smackdown Rebound.

Eugene, with HHH gear and wrestling figures, arrives in a limo with HHH and Ric Flair. He’s very happy and HHH promises another surprise.

Here’s Matt, who has been ecstatic for the last week, for….some reason that certainly wasn’t revealed five minutes ago. This year Father’s Day was a big deal for him because Lita told him she was pregnant, so he’d like Lita to come out here right now. Matt wastes no time in dropping to a knee and popping and popping the question….and here’s Kane on the screen to interrupt. He wastes no time either by announcing that the baby is his. Matt freaks out so Kane tells him to ask Lita about the truth. Lita can’t deny it and Matt looks a little….insane might be the right word. He walks off, as you might expect.

Post break, Lita tells Matt that the baby might be his and she did this to protect him. So he’s a weakling and MIGHT be a father? Dude, even I feel sorry for Matt right now. Lita cries as he walks away.

For the FOURTH TIME TONIGHT, it’s more from the Diva Search, with the finalists being announced. Most of them aren’t actually named, but I totally feel the connection to all of them. I guess this is supposed to be a mini reality show, but they don’t exactly seem to know how to make these things work. Ok so the swimsuit part worked for obvious reasons.

Eugene is warming up and wonders where Regal is. Evolution tells him not to worry about it when Bischoff comes in. HHH gives him a big speech about not worrying about it because Eugene is with Evolution. Eugene leaves and they all crack up.

Eugene vs. HHH

So…..I thought HHH had to win to get the title shot at Vengeance but since that’s already confirmed, I’m not sure what the point is here. Ric Flair is here with HHH. Eugene is star struck and does HHH pose on the apron with him. They shake hands to start and HHH hits a pretty soft hiptoss. Eugene is right back with a slightly harder one and HHH isn’t pleased. He’ll shake Eugene’s hand again though before slapping on a headlock.

Eugene powers out and shoves him down, meaning it’s time for a bunch of Hogan poses. The test of strength goes to Eugene and he cranks on Flair’s hand for a bonus. With nothing else working, HHH goes amateur but Eugene reverses into a belly to back suplex. HHH is furious on the floor as we take a break. Back with HHH getting armdragged into an armbar but he complains about the pain and Eugene lets go. That might be a first and something more people should try in the future. Who knew Eugene was a pioneer?

That’s finally enough for HHH as he decks Eugene with a right hand and the slow beating continues. HHH chokes in the corner and cuts off a comeback with a spinebuster for two. Some rams into the corner wake Eugene up though and that means an airplane spin for HHH. A top rope ax handle gets two and the Pedigree is countered with a backdrop.

The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow send HHH outside as Eugene spins around in a circle. Flair gets punched down as well but HHH is back in with the Pedigree. HHH covers, only to have Bischoff come out and say that HHH needs to beat Eugene even more or there’s no title shot. That means a chair so here’s Benoit to make the save as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. I’m still trying to figure out why the match was still happening if HHH was getting the shot anyway. Odds are it’s Bischoff and HHH doing favors for each other, but it would be nice to actually mention that instead of changing the story in the middle of the show. Anyway, this was just a step above a comedy match with Eugene doing all of his goofy stuff and HHH selling for him for a bit before laying him out to draw in Benoit for the save. It was a bad mixture of two styles and it didn’t work.

Benoit has to fight off the rest of Evolution but hits Eugene square in the head with the chair by mistake. The distraction lets HHH get in the low blow and the Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that was certainly something. You had the awesome Rock segment, two long matches with one being pretty good and the other being a rather bad mess with HHH and Eugene not exactly meshing, a whopping four Diva Search segments and a bunch of people talking about how Eugene was going to get destroyed. That’s a really weird recipe for a show and while there are parts of it that worked, the big story of Eugene vs. HHH didn’t work and that’s what dominated the show. But hey, at least HHH gets another title shot!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2016
Date: November 20, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,143
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, David Otunga

I say this every year but it’s always hard to believe that it’s been a full year since this show. This was the first time that a Survivor Series was expanded to four hours but thankfully there’s a good chance that they could make it work, mainly due to the elimination matches. The main event though is Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which I’m sure will be completely uneventful. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese vs. Noam Dar/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann

This is a preview match for something called 205 Live, which debuts next week. I know it hasn’t gone great but the division really has evolved into a better place than when it started. Swann gets a nice reaction and then starts with Nese, who gets chopped in the corner. They do their regular flips with Swann’s jump over Nese’s feet getting a good pop (as always) before it’s off to Perkins.

Some suplexes set up an Octopus Hold but Nese reverses into a kind of gutwrench suplex. Gulak comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner with everyone working him over. We actually get a TJ PERKINS chant as he slaps on the kneebar to keep Gulak in trouble. Everything breaks down and we take a break.

Back with Daivari in trouble this time as Dar gets two off a running kick to the face. Nese offers a distraction though and a spinebuster takes Dar down. A superkick gives Daivari two and it’s back to Gulak to crank on the leg. If this sounds rather uninteresting, it’s only because that’s what it is.

Dar dropkicks his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Swann to very little reaction. A good looking jumping hurricanrana takes Daivari off the middle rope as everything breaks down again. That means we hit the dives but the referee CUTS PERKINS OFF. Now you know that’s not working so Perkins dives over the referee to take out some villains. Back in and Swann’s standing 450 ends Daivari at 11:48.

Rating: C-. I forgot how uninteresting these earlier cruiserweight matches were. The guys barely have characters and the entire story here was “three faces vs. three heels”. It didn’t get much better for a long time but, as usual, the problem comes down to one simple thing: if the smaller guys on the main roster can be big stars and do all these dives, why should I be impressed when cruiserweights can do them too?

Kickoff Show: Luke Harper vs. Kane

Harper is part of the NEW Wyatt Family, which screwed Kane over, meaning we need a match here. Kane grabs a full nelson of all things and we’re in a chinlock fifteen seconds in. That goes nowhere so Harper grabs a headlock as the fans are oddly split here. Kane starts in on the shoulder by sending it into the buckle. Harper sends him outside though and hits that suicide shove of his (Who needs cruiserweights?).

A slingshot flip splash gives Luke two and we take a break. Back with Kane in a chinlock (well duh) but managing to superplex Harper down for a crash. The sidewalk slam gets two but Harper scores with a superkick for the same. Kane’s running DDT and Harper’s Boss Man Slam are good for two more each but it’s the chokeslam to put Harper away at 9:10.

Rating: D+. Well what were you expecting here? This was exactly the match you would have planned out for them and Kane won with his finisher. It’s about as paint by numbers of a power match as you can get and while it wasn’t terrible, it’s also a match I really didn’t need to see.

The opening video looks at Goldberg vs. Lesnar and then all the Raw vs. Smackdown matches. Well at least they got some time. I’m sure Stephanie’s voiceovers had nothing to do with it.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Bayley, Alicia Fox, Charlotte, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch, Carmella, Naomi, Nikki Bella

Entrances alone take forever of course, which will be a theme tonight. Charlotte is Raw Women’s Champion and has Dana Brooke in her corner. Becky is Smackdown Women’s Champion but Nikki is captain. You know, because of course. Bliss gets a heck of a reaction (gee I wonder why). Actually hang on a second as there’s no Nikki. We cut to the back where she’s down after being attacked. Not to worry though, as Smackdown coach Natalya is more than willing to take the spot.

Carmella and Alicia get things going and it’s an early northern lights suplex to give Fox two. That just earns her a trip into the corner for the Staten Island Shuffle…and let’s look at Team Raw while Fox gets in a kick to the face. That felt like a hard edit to make sure we didn’t see something. Becky comes in and wants Bayley but Charlotte tags herself in instead. Banks does the same though and everything breaks down as Team Raw is about to implode. As usual, I would ask why Team Smackdown didn’t just let them. Nia will have none of this though and easily clears the ring to settle things down.

We settle down to Becky and Banks trading rollups before it’s off to Charlotte for more of the same. Becky can’t get the Disarm-Her and it’s off to Nia as things get a lot more difficult. Carmella and Bliss come in for the expected results and Naomi’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Natalya actually gets a reaction but Nia clotheslines her head off for her efforts. It’s off to Fox vs. Carmella with Alicia avoiding a Bronco Buster, setting up what looked to be a mostly missed ax kick for the elimination at 6:35. Bliss comes right in, sends Fox into the buckle and adds Twisted Bliss to tie it up at 6:48.

Charlotte and Naomi come in with the latter cleaning house, including knocking Nia outside and hitting a high crossbody to the floor. Nia posts her though and that’s a countout at 8:23. We pause for the Tye Dillinger TEN chant until Bliss takes Banks down and grinds her face into the mat. Banks sends Bliss and Natalya into each other, followed by the double knees in the corner to Alexa. Back up and Bliss saves Natalya from the Bank Statement, allowing Natalya to roll Banks up for the elimination at 10:20.

Charlotte comes in and gets suplexed, meaning we hit the SUPLEX CITY chants. You would think fans would know more chants than that. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but, as always, Natalya powerbombs her down for two in the near fall that never ends Charlotte. The required Sharpshooter sends Charlotte crawling for the ropes but a big boot ends Natalya at 12:01.

Becky and Bliss get in an argument over who should come in, allowing Jax to suplex them both at the same time. Of course that gets a MAMA MIA from Mauro, which I miss hearing so often. Bliss gets caught in a slam but Becky makes a blind tag and missile dropkicks Bliss in the back to knock her onto Jax. The Disarm-Her actually makes Jax tap at 13:35 and it’s 2-2 with Becky/Bliss vs Charlotte/Bayley.

Jax mauls Becky, leaving Bliss to get big booted down for the elimination at 14:03. Becky fights back as fast as she can with the series of clotheslines into the leg lariat, followed by Bexplex. Bayley has to dive in for a save after a top rope legdrop before coming in for the slugout. Another Bexplex gets two but Bayley’s elbow to the back gets the same. You can tell Becky is getting tired out there so Bayley blocks the Disarm-Her and grabs the Bayley to Belly for the final pin at 17:53.

Rating: C+. The quick eliminations didn’t help things here but the ending was the right call. There was way too much talent on the Raw side to lose and I’m VERY glad it was Natalya, who can wrestle this style without having to dumb things down too much. Becky was pretty much all the blue team had for a lot of the match and she put up a valiant effort, only to be outgunned. That makes her look strong and Bayley getting a win like this is a good thing for her at this stage in her main roster career.

Charlotte takes Bayley out post match and beats her around ringside.

Smackdown mascot James Ellsworth runs into Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who weren’t funny in 2016 either. They make some bad chin puns but Raw GM Mick Foley comes in to run them off. Ellsworth talks about all the great memories he has of Foley, most of which involve him being in extreme pain. Foley thanks him anyway and suggests Ellsworth move to Raw. He appreciates the offer but politely turns it down because he’s true blue. Foley leaves and Ellsworth runs into Braun Strowman, who asks if he knows Ellsworth. James runs in a smart move.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Miz is defending and Sami is trying to take the title to Raw. We get the Big Match Intros and Sami gets quite the reaction for being Canadian. Sami spins out of a wristlock to start and Miz looks annoyed in the corner. Miz gets sent outside but Sami has to bail out of the flip dive. The moonsault off the barricade works though, drawing over Maryse for a distraction. Well she can be quite distracting.

This one works well with Miz taking out the knee to get his first advantage. Some hard stomps to the knees have Sami in trouble but he’s still able to clothesline Miz to the floor. A flip dive works as well, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and it’s time for a double breather. The running corner dropkick/clothesline look to set up the ax handle but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb.

The Helluva Kick only hits corner though and that means the Figure Four. This one stays on for a good while until Sami makes the ropes, earning himself some YES Kicks. Sami reverses one into a Figure Four of his own but Maryse rings the bell. Since Sami isn’t all that bright, he of course falls for it, only to have Miz roll him up to retain at 14:06.

Rating: C-. Kind of a dull match as you knew a lot of Sami’s near falls weren’t going anywhere. I can go for Miz and Maryse teaming up to steal wins though and it’s a big reason why he’s been an awesome Intercontinental Champion. This would also help play into Sami’s heel turn nearly a year later as he would get tired of losing while playing by the rules. Makes sense, especially in a long term form.

Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles are bickering over being teammates tonight when Shane McMahon comes in and tells them to cool it so Smackdown doesn’t lose again.

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Raw: Enzo Amore/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson, New Day, Shining Stars

Smackdown: American Alpha, Breezango, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Hype Bros, Usos

A fall eliminates both members of a team. Enzo and Cass suck up to the live crowd, as you might expect. New Day and Slater/Rhyno are the respective champions. Fandango tries to give everyone a fashion ticket to start, earning himself a Midnight Hour for the elimination at 44 seconds. New Day spends too much time celebrating though and it’s a superkick from Jimmy to pin Big E. at 1:08.

Gallows comes in to punch Jimmy in the face before handing it off to Cass for the tall power. The fast tags continue as it’s off to Epico vs. Ryder (who is rocking some old school Survivor Series logo trunks) with Mojo coming in for a clap around the ears. Rawley gets taken down into the corner for the huge group beating though as we keep trying to get everyone in. It’s back to Ryder (not Slater like the fans want) but Gallows saves Anderson from the Broski Boot. Instead it’s the Magic Killer to pin Ryder at 5:08.

Gable comes in as Graves talks about how scared he is of American Alpha. It doesn’t seem to be the most valid fear to start though as Epico takes Gable down into a chinlock. Some rolling suplexes have Gable in more trouble and Primo comes in with a springboard ax handle to the ribs. He misses a charge in the corner though and it’s off to Jordan for a quick Steiner Bulldog to get rid of the Stars at 8:08.

The six remaining teams (Enzo/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson vs. American Alpha, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Usos) come in at once as everything breaks down. That means Enzo gets tossed over the top onto a big pile….which was mainly Raw guys but whatever. Rhyno gets thrown over the top as well, only to have Slater add an even bigger dive. Back in and Cesaro swings Jordan but Gable makes the save with a Rolling Chaos Theory.

Gable isn’t done though as Jordan throws him over the top for a HUGE flip dive onto everyone. Sweet goodness those two were awesome together. I mean, not as awesome as Jordan on his own with Kurt Angle kind of around but still. Back in and it’s a quick Magic Killer to get rid of Jordan at 10:39 as the eliminations are still flying. A spinebuster plants Slater and he’s caught in the wrong corner.

Sheamus won’t tag Cesaro (this was before their ridiculous matching outfits) and an argument breaks out, allowing the hot tag off to Rhyno as everyone bickers. Rhyno comes in and Gores Gallows for an elimination at 12:28. Cass wastes no time with a big boot to Rhyno, followed by the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 12:45.

That leaves us with the Usos….who superkick Enzo down to set up the Superfly Splash and an elimination at 13:26 before I can type the Raw teams. So now we’re down to the Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus with the latter hitting the ten forearms (you know the chant) on Jimmy. Cesaro comes in and eats a double superkick but Sheamus Brogue kicks Jimmy with Jey making a diving save.

Super White Noise plants Jimmy again but Jey is right back with a Superfly Splash for two with Cesaro making a save of his own. The hot tag brings in Cesaro for the Uppercut Train and a 619 as the fans lose their minds over Cesaro again. A high crossbody gets two on Jey and it’s time for the Swing. Jimmy breaks up the Sharpshooter and Jey gets the Tequila Sunrise. That’s reversed right back into the Sharpshooter with Sheamus remembering he’s in the match to cut off Jimmy, leaving Jey to tap at 18:55.

Rating: B. This was during the time that I couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro (not a lot has changed in a year) but they did a lot of stuff in this match, despite the crunched timeline. Getting nine eliminations in less than nineteen minutes is a lot but you have to clear the ring out at the beginning. It’s entertaining, but hits a hard ceiling that it’s not getting past.

Stephanie and Foley decide that Sheamus and Cesaro should get a Tag Team Title shot tomorrow night. They recap the rest of the show with Stephanie getting way too serious, as usual.

Preview for TLC with Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles in a TLC match for the title.

Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick does his best Sean O’Haire impression and is ready for Kalisto. If Kalisto wins, he brings the division to Smackdown. It’s fine for a one off match but it was really hard to buy Kendrick as the best cruiserweight in the company in 2016.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick is defending and charges straight into a knee to the face. Kalisto is right back with a suicide dive, followed by a springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. Some rollups give Kalisto more near falls and a shotgun dropkick has Kendrick in even more trouble. A rollup into the corner finally gives Kendrick a breather and he crushes Kalisto between the steps and the apron for good measure.

Back in and we hit the cravate to slow things back down. Kalisto manages to fight up and get to the apron where he grabs a C4 out to the floor in the big crash of the match. A good looking suicide dive takes Kendrick down again but he reverses a super Salida Del Sol into the Captain’s Hook. Kalisto finally grabs the ropes and fires off some kicks, followed by the hurricanrana driver. The Salida Del Sol gets two with Kendrick getting to the ropes. Kalisto heads up top….and here’s Baron Corbin for the DQ at 12:21.

Rating: C-. The match was good at times but Kendrick really isn’t the kind of guy you want as a long term champion. It also didn’t help that you knew they weren’t changing up the cruiserweight division so close to 205 Live’s launch. Corbin interfering was fine enough, but it really does make the title match feel like a big waste of time.

The Kickoff Show panel recaps the show so far.

Daniel Bryan yells at Corbin, who doesn’t want little pests running around on Smackdown.

We recap the men’s Survivor Series match, which started in July at the second Brand Split. Naturally this is about the McMahons as Shane and Stephanie are the Commissioners and therefore they have to be fighting. We look at all the entrants as this is treated like the major match is should be treated as. Then Shane is added to the match and that notion kind of falls apart.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins

Smackdown: AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Randy Orton, Shane McMahon

AJ and Owens are the World Champions, Reigns is US Champion and Ellsworth is here as the mascot. This is also during the period where Orton is part of the Wyatt Family because we needed that story to get to Orton as World Champion again. Rollins gets a nice reaction and it’s far better without BURN IT DOWN or whatever the line is. AJ and Owens start things off with Styles wasting no time in hitting the drop down into the dropkick.

That’s enough of that though as it’s and they slug it out with AJ getting the better of it. The STUPID IDIOT chants mean it’s time for Jericho, who throws his shirt at AJ and hammers away. Styles dropkicks him down again as the announcers discuss Jericho insulting Undertaker on Twitter. It’s off to Ambrose vs. Rollins, which turns into far more of a wrestling match than it should.

Rollins can’t get a Pedigree so let’s go back to Jericho. Chris yells at Dean for the $15,000 jacket issue, earning himself some really bad armdrags. An enziguri cuts Dean down for two but Ambrose is right back with a bunch of right hands to the head. Shane comes in for the first time and my interest goes down. I’m still not a fan of middle aged Shane and this isn’t likely to change things.

Shane’s bad punches and an armdrag (better than Dean’s) take Jericho down until a dropkick cuts him off. The announcers debate the TV ratings as Reigns comes in and gets booed out of the building. Roman hammers him down in the corner and Seth comes in for a chinlock. That’s broken up so let’s go with Dean vs. Kevin. Owens hits a superkick but gets caught in a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho break up Dirty Deeds.

Everything breaks down and Strowman tags himself in, leaving the fans to chant for Ellsworth. The fight heads outside with Dean being left alone in the ring until Strowman catches his slingshot dive. Strowman walks him around the ring until AJ’s slingshot forearm to the floor breaks it up. Owens dives onto everyone and Strowman tosses Shane across the ring in a pretty good power display.

Some double teaming doesn’t do much to stop Strowman but they manage to knock him outside. That’s enough of Dean and Ambrose working together so they get in a fight, allowing Strowman to hit the running powerslam for the pin on Dean at 15:57. AJ was looking right at the cover and didn’t move. Shane gets to beat on Strowman for a bit but thankfully he gets hammered down as well.

The Phenomenal Forearm is pulled out of the air with AJ being tossed outside in a nasty heap. Orton gets thrown aside too but a stare from Bray stops Strowman in his tracks. Strowman grabs Jericho by the throat but decides to run Bray over instead, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. Braun goes outside as well but runs into an RKO onto the announcers’ table. After we pause to see what a random eight year old fan thought of it (he was applauding), Shane drops the top rope elbow to put Strowman through said table. That and Ellsworth grabbing Braun’s foot get Strowman counted out at 21:18.

Strowman catches Ellsworth running up the ramp though (How slow is this guy?) and throws him off the stage through some tables. Everyone else is mostly dead until Jericho covers Shane for two. Owens is fresh enough to drop the backsplash on Shane for two (but only after mocking the dance). There’s the Lionsault but Shane gets two of his own off a small package.

Shane takes a Codebreaker but Orton comes in before the cover, meaning Shane survives another finisher. He avoids a top rope splash though and it’s off to AJ to work on Jericho. With Owens getting in an insult to AJ’s hair (too far man), Jericho counters the Styles Clash into a failed Walls attempt. The Phenomenal Blitz rocks Jericho but Owens comes in with the List of Jericho to blast AJ. That’s a DQ at 29:23, but not before he gives AJ a Pop Up Powerbomb.

Orton gets the tag and comes in with the RKO to get rid of Jericho at 30:19. Notice Reigns blankly staring up at the ramp and not hearing the RKO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. So it’s down to Shane/AJ/Orton/Wyatt vs. Reigns/Rollins with Orton hammering on Rollins to start. Wyatt and Orton take turns on Seth as Shane is still laid on the apron after his long time in the ring. The superplex takes Rollins down (looks great too) but it allows the hot tag to Reigns. AJ comes in as well and MY GOODNESS the fans do not like Reigns.

House is cleaned with a series of Samoan drops, followed by a great looking Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two on AJ. Seriously that was good enough to cut off the booing. A Pele cuts off a Superman Punch and it’s back to Shane for no logical reason. Shane gets in a tornado DDT to drop Reigns and a clothesline takes Rollins down. Reigns tries a spear but gets awkwardly countered into the post.

In probably the spot of the match, Shane loads up Coast to Coast but gets speared out of the air for a SICK landing. Shane actually kicks out at two but you can see that he is completely gone. Like Lesnar after the botched shooting star gone. The referee says Shane is eliminated at 37:07, presumably due to his brains looking like a pie that has been run over by a bus driven by raccoons.

We pause for a bit as doctors get Shane out of the ring until Roman blasts Bray with a clothesline. Rollins and AJ get stereo hot tags with Seth’s Blockbuster putting Styles down. There’s the slingshot knee to AJ and a suicide dive to Wyatt. With Reigns down on the floor, let’s hit that ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant! Still one of my favorites because the fans just will not give him a break no matter what. An enziguri staggers AJ on top and now it’s WAKE UP ROMAN. Reigns does in fact wake up and saves Rollins from a hanging DDT on the floor.

With Orton down, it seems as good a time as any for a DoubleBomb. Styles makes a save before it can be loaded up but here’s Ambrose to jump Styles again. The fans call Dean a STUPID IDIOT as the former Shield beats up security. NOW the TripleBomb puts AJ through the table, allowing Rollins to get the pin at 47:00. It’s down to two on two with the Wyatts vs. the Shield (not the worst idea in the world)….and here’s Luke Harper for a distraction so the Wyatts can take over.

Reigns posts Orton but Harper superkicks him down, only to have Rollins score with a flip dive to the floor. Back in and the low superkick hits Wyatt but he dives into an RKO, giving Bray the pin at 49:25. Reigns, all alone, sends both of them outside and takes Harper out as a bonus. Back in and Orton eats a spear to save Wyatt, leaving Bray to grab Sister Abigail for the pin at 52:50.

Rating: A. This is a great example of a match that benefits from all of the time it had. What I loved about this was how long it took to take someone out. Most of the people in here were former World Champions and it doesn’t make sense to have them losing in a minute or two like in the other matches. They let the match build up for a change and that’s what makes this feel important.

Above all else though, this felt like someone surviving instead of whoever was left last. Look at the women’s match. Bayley barely looked like she had been through anything at the end. Orton and Wyatt looked banged up, which is how they should after a match like this. It’s a well put together match that got the kind of time it needed, which is exactly how something like this should be. Really strong stuff here with Bray, who actually needed it, getting the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was being interviewed about being in WWE2K16 and said he didn’t owe Lesnar a rematch. Lesnar challenged him though and Goldberg wanted his son to see him wrestle. The match was on and it does indeed feel like a battle of two people who could kill each other.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

We get the full Goldberg entrance, complete with someone knocking on his door. Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Goldberg shoves him right back down, scaring the heck out of Lesnar in the process. Back up and the spear connects to drop Lesnar again. There’s a second spear, followed by a Jackhammer to give Goldberg the huge upset at 1:25.

Yeah I still don’t like it. Sure it was shocking and a huge moment, but what did this set up? Goldberg eliminating Lesnar from the Rumble, Goldberg getting the most unnecessary Universal Title reign ever, and then a good sub five minute match at Wrestlemania. One of WWE’s biggest issues is giving fans something to cheer for and they give this spot to Goldberg, who they didn’t even create, for the sake of a video game (might not have been their call) and a story that could have made someone’s career. After this, Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman both fell to Lesnar, but Goldberg doesn’t. I don’t buy it, nor to I like it.

Goldberg celebrates with his family to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. One of the major perks about a match running nearly an hour on a three and a half hour show is that it can REALLY bring an overall rating up. Throw in a good women’s match and nothing really bad, this is actually a strong show. It’s far from perfect (main event aside, though that was the only thing that could have closed the show) but it’s a heck of a card, which I can always go for of course. The main issue is they could have gotten this one under three hours so it’s a bit long but nothing too bad. Really solid show though and most of that is due to the mega long match.

Ratings Comparison

Rich Swann/Noam Dar/TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Luke Harper

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Women’s Survivor Series Match

Original: C

Redo: C+

Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Tag Team Survivor Series Match

Original: D+

Redo: B

Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Original: C

Redo: C-

Men’s Survivor Series Match

Original: A-

Redo: A

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B+

My eyebrows went up when I saw the original overall rating. The year of mellowing on the ending have helped a lot as there’s no way this is a B-. Also I really couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/11/20/survivor-series-2016-there-are-no-words/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6