Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Tonight is the first show in a long time with a special attraction main event. Tonight’s main event is the returning Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels in a match billed as legend vs. icon. Other than that we have the first Summerslam with the new generation on top with John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and Batista defending against JBL. Let’s get to it.

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

The opening video is about Cena vs. Bischoff with Eric’s surrogate Chris Jericho. This would be the 185^th attempt to recreate Austin vs. Vince, each one less successful than the previous. It covers the rest of the matches too, focusing on Hogan vs. Shawn of course. The theme song is Remedy by Seether so we have another good song this year.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.

When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.

Vickie Guerrero, not yet a character, begs Eddie to calm down about Mysterio and Rey’s son Dominic. Eddie says Vickie doesn’t get it but she tries to talk him down. He interprets this as Vickie thinking he can’t beat Rey and throws her out.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Matt dated Lita in real life but Edge stole her away (both on screen and in real life) while Matt was out with a knee injury. Hardy was released from WWE while Edge and Lita became an on screen couple. This led to an AWESOME angle where Matt, who had been rehired VERY quietly, showed up on Raw and attacked Edge from behind. He did it again but was arrested, shouting that he’d be at Ring of Honor. Matt was finally brought back full time, setting up a white hot feud with Edge. They made the feud feel as real as any I can remember in a long time before it was to a degree.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

This is during Lita’s early heel phase and DANG does it work for her. The fight starts on the floor with Matt in control before heading inside for a bell. Hardy grabs a choke but Edge gets into the ropes. Back to the floor for a bit before Edge gets in a right hand inside to take over. Edge spears him off the apron and out to the floor in the spot made much more famous against Mick Foley.

Back in and Matt hits some HARD lefts and rights before going into the corner to rain them down. Edge steps forward and drops Matt face first on the post (with Matt clearly pulling himself forward to hit it correctly), busting Hardy open. Edge goes after the cut….and the match is stopped in less than five minutes. We get a good shot of Matt’s head and the cut is shown to be just a step above nothing, making this ridiculous. I’m guessing the idea was due to a head injury (not a real one mind you) but it makes Matt look like a complete joke.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Oh this is a fun one. They were tag team champions in the spring but Eddie started to get paranoid that Rey was better than him. Rey beat him at Wrestlemania in a friendly match and Eddie was set off. He turned on Rey and started going after Rey’s 8 year old son Dominic.

Uncle Eddie said he had a story to tell Dominic but Rey kept stopping Eddie from telling it. They had a match at Great American Bash where if Eddie won he could tell the story but if not he had to stay quiet. Eddie lost, but told the story anyway: he’s Dominic’s actual father but gave him to Rey because Eddie was in no condition to be a father. Then he wanted custody of Dominic, so there was one solution.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Here’s the solution: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” That line summed up the entire feud and is a famous line today. Eddie looks at Rey to start before kneeing him in the ribs to get things going. A hard belly to back suplex puts Rey down but he comes back with a monkey flip to send Guerrero to the floor. Rey is sent straight into the steps and then the ladder as Eddie maintains his early control.

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Eddie lays a ladder on the top rope and drops a charging Rey chest first onto the steel. Guerrero goes up but Dominic gets in and shakes the ladder to stop him. Eddie gets in his face and shouts that he’s the new daddy but Rey stops him from punching the kid. Mysterio moves the ladder against the ropes and sends Eddie into it for the 619. Rey Drops the Dime on the ladder onto Eddie and goes up but gets caught in an electric chair. As they’re about to fall, Rey spins around and slips down Guerrero into a powerbomb.

Rey slowly climbs again but Guerrero kicks the ladder away and catches the falling Rey in another powerbomb. In a smart move, Eddie puts the ladder over Rey before climbing up and grabbing the briefcase. Since he’s a heel in a ladder match though, he takes FOREVER to work the simple clip, allowing Rey to kick the ladder over and pull Eddie down. Rey can’t follow up though and gets caught in Three Amigos with the third on the ladder. Eddie goes up again and here’s Vickie, which makes me think the slow climb was a missed spot where she was supposed to come out. She shoves him down and Rey gets up the ladder for the win.

Rating: B-. This was good but the botches hurt it a lot. The other major problem here is the whole thing is so silly. It’s really hard to get into a match with the prize being a custody of a kid. Are we supposed to believe that Eddie is going to win and presumably abuse the world’s stupidest looking eight year old? I’ve seen far worse but this wasn’t a great match by any stretch. Eddie of course would be gone in about two and a half months but he would beat Rey in a cage match in about ten days.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Jericho says the time is now for him to become WWE Champion. After Cena loses tonight, he’s nothing more than the flavor of the month. I mean, Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night to become the first Undisputed Champion. Tonight Jericho will win the WWE Championship and Eric Bischoff can have a champion to be proud of.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Yep he’s still around. This is for Angle’s gold medal and Eugene has Christy Hemme as a cheerleader. Eugene won some Olympic challenge by lasting three minutes against Angle, so this is no time limit. They really couldn’t find something better for Kurt? Angle easily takes him to the mat to start but Eugene comes back with a spinebuster to LOUD booing. Angle takes his head off on the People’s Elbow attempt for two and the fans go nuts. A BIG release German suplex puts Angle down and it’s time for some knees to the face.

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts slow anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Wrestlemania rematch and I think that’s all you need to know. Orton immediately bails to the floor before being slapped right in the face. Taker misses a right hand in the corner but runs Orton over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock on Randy followed by a big boot, leaving Orton with a dazed look in his eyes. Taker grabs a key lock but Orton armdrags him off the top to break up Old School. Orton hits a HARD right hand to the face, earning him a launch into the corner and rapid punches from the dead man.

Orton gets up a boot in the corner but charges out straight into a big boot for two. The jumping clothesline puts Orton down for two more and a running knee in the corner has Randy in big trouble. Randy manages to dodge a running big boot in the corner but can barely follow up due to the beating he’s taken. As Taker gets back in from the apron Orton gets in a shot to the leg to take over.

Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and wraps it around the post before putting on a basic leg lock in the ring. A knee drop to the face gets two before Orton takes him into the corner to wrap the leg around the ropes. Randy powerslams him down for two and it’s off to a leg lace. Taker fights out of it and rams Orton’s knee into the mat but Randy comes right back with a chop block to the front of the leg. More cannonballs onto the knee have Taker in bigger trouble but the big man kicks him out to the floor.

The legdrop across the apron has Orton in more trouble and Taker does a one legged Old School. Uh Dead Man, there’s more to selling than just limping before you do a move with no issues. Taker hits Snake Eyes but he can’t run fast enough for the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO is countered but Taker has the tombstone countered twice and Orton hits his backbreaker for two. Taker rolls through a high cross body and hits the chokeslam but a “fan” comes in and the distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin. It’s Bob Orton (Randy’s dad) of course.

Rating: C+. This was ok but the ending was stupid. It doesn’t hold a candle to their Wrestlemania match but the rematch inside the Cell at Armageddon was WAY better. Bob Orton didn’t add much to this feud and Orton wasn’t ready to make the jump to the full time main event scene just yet. The match wasn’t bad or anything though.

Some big shot Republicans are here.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. As mentioned there isn’t much to talk about here. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena and has Jericho to take the title away from him. This is Cena’s first feud as champion on Raw. This gets the music video treatment.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

They stare each other down to start before trading chops to Jericho’s advantage. A snap suplex puts Cena down but Jericho’s springboard cross body misses Cena entirely and Chris hits the floor. Back in and Cena hits a running elbow into the face but charges into a dropkick to slow things down again. A suplex gets two for the challenger and he follows it up with a dropkick to the jaw. Jericho sends him out to the floor and dropkicks him off the apron for good measure.

Cena gets choked with a microphone cord before being thrown inside to be beaten up even more. A superplex has Cena in trouble but it shook Jericho up too badly to cover. Cena starts pounding back but misses a flying shoulder, allowing Jericho to try the Walls, only to be kicked out to the floor. As Jericho gets back in, Cena drops a top rope leg onto Chris’ head for a close two count. The FU is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad here but it didn’t really click for the most part. This was an off time for Jericho as he didn’t fit as a heel because he was more or less the same guy he had always been but he was supposed to be bad now. Cena was starting to click as a main event guy though and that’s a really good sign, but the feud with Bischoff didn’t do anything for him as everyone saw it for what it was.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

We recap JBL vs. Batista. Basically it was supposed to be Muhammad Hassan taking the title off Big Dave but there was the whole terrorist angle (Hassan had terrorist looking guys attack Undertaker on the same day as the 7/7 London bombings and the backlash got Hassan released) so JBL was thrown in. This is a rematch after the Great American Bash where JBL won by DQ, so tonight it’s no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.

We recap Hogan vs. Michaels. Hogan was inducted into the Hall of Fame and the fans chanted one more match. HBK was dealing with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari and begged Hogan to join him for one more match. They teamed up for the win at Backlash and became a semi-regular tag team until the 4^th of July when Shawn superkicked Hogan after a win. Shawn accused Hogan of living off a reputation for twenty years, setting up a showdown here tonight. Shawn turned heel for the build because goodness knows Hogan isn’t getting booed on his nostalgia tour.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Michaels finally wises up and thumbs Hulk in the eye, only to have Hogan come back with a backdrop. Hogan sends him to the floor and launches him back inside before walking into some right hands and chops. Then comes the mistake as Shawn slaps him in the face, cuing the Hulk Up. Shawn slaps him again….and it seems to work. He fires off more chops but gets sent into the corner for the Flair Flip and a big right hand to send Shawn to the floor.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Off to a sleeper with Hogan’s blood GUSHING onto Shawn’s arm. Hogan’s arm only drops twice and he comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Both guys are down and Hogan looks very confused. Back up and there’s the forearm into the nipup but the big elbow misses. There’s the finger point but another forearm breaks up the big boot. The referee is bumped though just before Shawn nips up again. Shawn goes to the wrong corner for the elbow so instead he puts Hogan in the Sharpshooter as a second referee slides in.

The hold stays on for a LONG time but Shawn has it on so badly that it’s easily believed. Hogan makes the rope so Shawn loads it up again, only to be kicked off and into another referee. With no referee, Shawn hits Hogan low and grabs a chair. A bad looking shot to the head puts Hogan down and there’s the big elbow. It didn’t work for Savage in 89 and it’s not going to work here. Sweet Chin Music gets two and I think you can fill in the blanks here. One Hulk Up, big boot (with infamous overselling that would make Rock say “DUDE tone it WAY down) and a legdrop later and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is your standard Hogan match but that’s not exactly the best thing to see in 2005. It’s a cool idea for a match in theory but it didn’t quite hold up in actuality. Shawn had to tone his main event style WAY down to let Hogan keep up with him and it was all nostalgia after that. I’m ok with the booking here as Shawn didn’t need the win at all and was the guy to put over everyone in his return so putting over Hogan is fine. The match is worth seeing for historical significance but not much more.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s not exactly a bad show, but there’s nothing here that you should go out of your way to see at all. This was a bad time for the company as they were in a big transition to the new stuff but the new guys weren’t ready yet. That leaves an uninteresting show with matches that were easy to predict. It’s not terrible by any means and there are FAR worse shows out there, but this isn’t worth seeing other than the main event for history.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

The Eugene match was because I liked seeing Eugene get beaten up. The overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2004
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that likely means a slower than average night. In this case we do have the return of the Rock, which almost guarantees at least some energy. There’s a good chance that there won’t be much wrestling as WWE isn’t going to want to risk an injury six days before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The arena is full of smoke and Gregorian chanting while a dirty casket is in the ring. I’m thinking the return of Mantaur too.

Opening sequence.

Back in the arena, Lawler thinks Kane might have something to do with this and here’s Kane to prove Lawler right. How nice of them to not keep us waiting. His music is replaced by the chanting as he gets in the ring and turns the casket over, revealing the Urn inside. Kane throws the casket out (breaking the lid off in the process), leaving the mat covered in dirt and mud. He wants to know if this is the best Undertaker can do after weeks of teasing his return. An empty casket and an urn full of ashes?

The Urn is thrown out as well because it’s going to take more than empty promises to defeat him. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker’s Streak and his legacy are done, for good this time. Kane is NOT afraid of him….and there’s the gong. Lightning goes off and the ring starts rising off the ground (you don’t see that every day) and panic ensues. The screen says “This Sunday, it all begins again.” The impressive part: even though it hasn’t been full time in a good many years, the run that would begin on Sunday has gone on longer Undertaker’s entire WWE run up to that point.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T./Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak/La Resistance

The Dudleys qualified for Sunday’s title match after beating Lance Storm and Val Venis last night on Heat. Conway hits Bubba in the back to start as the fans already want tables. It’s off to Dupree, who gets taken down by a neckbreaker because Bubba doesn’t like French guys. Rolling Thunder gets two as JR and King list off other big shows to describe Wrestlemania.

Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and Jindrak comes in for the armbar. A pair of kicks to the head eventually get Rob out of trouble and over to the corner for the hot tag to Booker. That means even more kicks and a Book End to Jindrak with everyone coming in for the save. Dupree gets in a shot to the back of Booker’s head and Jindrak gets the pin with a clothesline. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania, not Survivor Series.

Rating: D. I get what they were going for here but I’m not going to buy Jindrak and Cade as threats to anything, let alone the Tag Team Titles. I know Evolution wasn’t exactly great with the titles but they were better than most of these goofs. This whole match shows how weak the division is as while the teams are at least different, I have no reason to care about most of them. This whole thing could be left off of Wrestlemania and the only people who would care are these eight guys.

The winners argue over who should get credit for the win.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with Trish Stratus and does that weird kind of talking where he repeats everything the other person is saying that you would never do. He’s going to take out some aggression on Christian this Sunday but Christian jumps him from behind. Christian says he left her boyfriend in Trish’s favorite position: flat on his back.

During the break, Christian bailed in a waiting car.

King has a Wrestlemania pizza delivered as part of a sponsorship deal. Unfortunately they never actually say the name of the company that delivered the pizza so it’s kind of missing the point.

Booker and Van Dam are upset about losing, but Van Dam manages to get in his pose.

Tonight: This Is Your Life Mick Foley. Therefore, we get a clip of This Is Your Life Rock. That still holds up, just from the chemistry between these two.

Rock arrives and runs into his biggest nemesis: Hurricane and Rosey. Hurricane brags about beating Rock, but that was just the Scorpion King. Tonight live though, it’s the Rock. It’s all cool though because he Hurricane liked Walking Tall. Rosey on the other hand got lost and wound up seeing Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.

Hurricane isn’t wild on Rock’s goatee because it reminds him of Coach, who is right behind Rock. Coach, whose height always surprises me, thinks Rock is stealing his look but Rock goes into a rant about Coach kissing up to Bischoff. Eventually Coach gets shoved away and Rock gives Hurricane and Rosey a pep talk.

Evolution vs. Hurricane/Rosey

That better be a heck of a pep talk. Flair punches away at Hurricane in the corner and hits a quick belly to back suplex. Orton comes in to kick at the knee and it’s off to Batista for a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Hurricane before Rosey is ever tagged in.

Evolution beats up Rosey post match. Orton says this is Rock and Foley’s life: two pathetic comebacks that end in embarrassment on Sunday. There is no stopping Evolution.

Video on the issues between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, which resulted in HHH standing tall again.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy

I wonder if Matt, who never irons his clothes and occasionally cheats on his diet, can last as long as Rosey and Hurricane. Matt talks trash and says Benoit winning the title doesn’t matter because he’s V1. That earns him a backbreaker and a snap suplex so Matt tries bailing to the floor. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface makes Matt tap in a hurry. To recap: Jindrak and Cade are on Wrestlemania but Matt is stuck in this role?

Post match JR gets in the ring to talk to Benoit about how long he’s worked to get here. Benoit is getting in the ring with two of the best ever and he’s coming out on top. Cue Shawn to say he appreciates what Benoit has accomplished more than anyone, but for Shawn, it’s about end a “nearly ten year grudge with HHH”.

Oh come on. HHH debuted in WCW in February 1994, didn’t start hanging out with Shawn until the summer of 1997, and if you REALLY stretch and say their issues started the day HHH took over DX, it’s less than six years. It’s more like a year and a half, which is still way shorter than Benoit’s 18 year path to the title.

Benoit doesn’t want to hear it (good man) because Wrestlemania is about walking out as World Heavyweight Champion. Violence is teased but Shawn eventually wishes him good luck. They shake hands but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks this whole thing is ridiculous because he shouldn’t have to defend the title against two men in one night. The two of them made a pact to take the title from HHH so they need to get used to disappointment.

HHH always overcomes the odds and manipulates the situation to always be in his advantage. He’s always found a way to have an edge and this Sunday that’s their egos. Shawn’s ego isn’t going to let him leave with the title because he’ll have to be the best, which is all the edge that HHH needs. I know it’s the main event of Wrestlemania but HHH almost didn’t need to be here. The Shawn/Benoit section alone was quite good.

Foley runs into Spike Dudley for a preview of tonight’s This Is Your Life. I have no idea why this needed to be included.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Molly is extra aggressive to start and chokes on the rope and gets two off a backbreaker. We’re already in the chinlock as JR hypes up Wrestlemania as being over four hours long. I pine for those days. Lita fights up with a sloppy headscissors and the reverse Twist of Fate for a pair of twos. Back up and Molly gets a rollup, grabbing the rope for the fast pin.

Post match Molly goes for Lita’s hair but Victoria runs in for the save as the rapid fire last second pushing continues.

We look back at Austin running over Vince’s limo last week.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg. It started at the Royal Rumble when they stared and sneered a lot, followed by Brock causing Goldberg to be eliminated. Goldberg cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title next month and the Wrestlemania match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to try and keep things interesting, at least partially because Goldberg is only showing up for the big match and not TV. Lesnar must have been taking notes. With Goldberg gone until Wrestlemania, Lesnar F5’d Austin last week and stole his ATV.

Here’s Austin for a chat and a beer. Austin has been speared and taken an F5 so he really doesn’t care what happens. He’ll be playing by the rules on Sunday but if someone wants to get physical, Austin is read to hand out knuckle sandwiches. Before we get there though, he needs to go to Atlantic City for some drinking and gambling but he’s also heading to Smackdown to get his ATV back. A quick recap wraps things up as Austin really didn’t have anything to say here.

We look back at Christian attacking Trish two weeks ago to put her on the shelf.

Chris Jericho vs. Steven Richards

Before the match, we see Christian’s attack earlier tonight, including him leaving after. Jericho has a cut on his head as a nice souvenir. Richards gets knocked down as he gets in with Jericho needing to blow off some steam. He’s a little too hotheaded to start and gets sent into the post twice in a row, followed by a quite logical armbar from Richards. The comeback doesn’t take long and Jericho tries the Walls but here’s Christian to Trish’s music. The distraction lets Richards grab the cheap rollup pin.

Post match Jericho sends Richards into the steps.

Hall of Fame video. It’s still an interesting class but lacking a top name.

Wrestlemania rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining us for the Smackdown matches.

Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda are in the back to talk about their Playboy match (when you can’t get in the arena on the go home show, it shows where you are on the card). After singing about bringing milkshakes to the yard (hence why this is off the Network), Johnny Blaze comes in but calls himself Johnny Spade (The multiple last names begin. Also of note: Johnny Spade was the name of a longtime Ohio Valley Wrestling mainstay so it’s not exactly an original name.). He’s willing to be their manager and even gives them a card. Johnny leaves and Eric Bischoff comes in, saying Johnny is made for this. And moving on.

Here’s Rock for This Is Your Life. Rock promises to win on Sunday so let’s get Foley out here right now. After a quick introduction, confetti falls and we get the famous video of Foley diving off of a house. The first guest: the woman who owned the house, Mrs. Doris Snyder! Foley: “I remember her!”

It’s a little old lady and Foley remembers eating milk, cookies and pie from her porch. A misunderstanding ensues with Foley saying all the kids, including the girls came up for pie. Foley: “Stray dogs too.” Rock: “STRAY DOGS???” Snyder is no longer opening her porch for pie but she is leaving her back door open for strudel. Rock panics again and tells her to stand in the corner so she’ll stop checking him out. I remember this one live and Rock’s reactions are incredible.

Next up: the Snuka vs. Muraco cage match, with Foley hanging out with the other 184 future wrestlers who were all in the building that night. Therefore, our second guest is Jimmy Snuka himself. Foley is thrilled to see his idol and offers Snuka to come to Wrestlemania. Rock talks about Snuka’s crazed 80s promos (the word he uses) where no one knew what Snuka was saying.

Snuka doesn’t like that, but Snyder grabs Rock’s arm. Rock: “Tell the Rock you are not looking at the Superfly’s a**!” Snuka: “Brother Rock, the Superfly loves pie!” Foley: “This is excellent!” Rock tells them to go get a room at Holiday Inn on her with Foley saying she was quite a gymnast in her day.

With the two of them gone, Rock talks about Foley’s writing career. The third guest: Bob Thompson, the first person to ever review Have A Nice Day. Foley says cut the music because Thompson found the book boring because wrestling, and wrestling fans, were idiots. The fans are all over the guy (as they should be) but Rock says Thompson represents everyone who has ever told Foley no.

The critics have been wrong, just like the people who say they can’t beat Evolution at Wrestlemania. Thompson criticizes Walking Tall and yeah there’s the sock in his mouth. Dude had it coming. Cue Evolution for the brawl (without talking first, as it should be) but Rock breaks up the triple powerbomb. That’s it for the comeback though as the Batista Bomb lays Rock out to end the show. This was long but Rock more than carried it, with his facial expressions over Snyder and Snuka being hysterical. Check this out if you have the time.

Overall Rating: C+. The Raw before Wrestlemania is always a different kind of show and that has to be taken into account. This is a night where the wrestling isn’t the point because it’s all about hyping you up for the big show. They actually did that too, as I came into this not really looking forward to Sunday and came out wanting to watch it again, at least a little bit more than I did earlier.

The big stuff with Rock and Foley was great, the first half of the Shawn/HHH/Benoit segment was good and everything got a little time (save for Goldberg of course, but that match and story has been such a mess that it’s not even a surprise anymore). As a stand alone show it doesn’t work, but for a go home show it did what it was supposed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Dominion 6:9
Date: June 9, 2011
Location: Osaka-Jo Hall, Osaka, Japan
Commentators: Don Callis, Kevin Kelly

So this was a big request and therefore I’m powerless to do anything about it. The main event is yet another Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada match (maybe the stars are just counting how many matches they’ve had) though this time it’s 2/3 falls and no time limit. Thankfully there hasn’t been the crazy hype about the match to drive me crazy yet so I might like it a lot more. Let’s get to it.

We open with a highlight video running down tonight’s card, albeit in Japanese so it might be a recipe for fruit pies.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Roppongi 3K vs. El Desperado/Yoshinobu Kanemaru

El Desperado/Yoshinobu Kanemaru are defending and are part of Suzuki-gun. Sho and Yoh flip dive onto the champs before the bell and it’s Kanemaru taking a sliding dropkick to the head for two to start. The announcers explain a bit more of the idea here, talking about how Roppongi used to be Young Lions and the older guys, like the champs, still see them as weaklings. That’s more of a story than most WWE matches give you.

Yoh gets sent into the barricade and has to dive back in at nineteen. Back in and we settle down a lot with Kanemaru ripping at the face and bringing Desperado back in. A dragon screw leg whip gets Yoh out of trouble and there’s the diving tag to Sho. The champs get speared down and some rolling German suplexes get two on Desperado.

Back up and the champs start double teaming until Yoh comes in for a save. A sliding DDT/Dominator combination (3K) gets two on Desperado and a Backstabber into a dropkick has him in even more trouble. Desperado takes some mist to the face and Sho adds Project Ciampa for two more. The ref gets bumped though and Kanemaru adds a whiskey bottle shot to set up the rollup pin to retain the titles at 9:29.

Rating: C. Completely fine opener here and a good way to make Suzuki-Gun look like a bunch of cheating jerks. Sho and Yoh are so much more entertaining than they were back in Ring of Honor and they make for a snappy little team. This was a fun match and thankfully it didn’t overstay its welcome, which can be a problem in opening matches.

Juice Robinson/David Finlay vs. Yoshi Hashi/Jay White

Taguchi Japan vs. Chaos and Finlay has a Groot jacket. White jumps Robinson at the bell, meaning we have to rush to the zoom in shot that always starts the matches (I kind of like it for some reason). Robinson is right back up and Finlay comes in for a double bulldog as they’re certainly off to a fast start. Takahashi comes in for a suplex before handing it right back to White for a backbreaker. A cravate doesn’t keep Finlay down for very long and it’s off to Juice for the snap jabs.

White is loaded into the corner for a Cannonball but Takahashi tries to break things up. That doesn’t go so well for him as Robinson ties him in the Tree of Woe and now the Cannonball can hit both of them at the same time. A double flapjack plants White but Robinson accidentally punches Finlay, allowing White to grab a Blade Runner to plant Finlay. Not that it matters as Robinson comes back in for Pulp Friction (jumping Unprettier) for the pin on White at 7:28.

Rating: C. Another perfectly fine match that didn’t get a ton of time. The ending has to set up Robinson vs. White for the US Title, probably in San Francisco in July, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Robinson has grown by leaps and bounds in New Japan and I could go for seeing him get a lot closer to win the title.

Robinson holds up the US Title to hammer the point home.

Tomohiro Ishii/Toru Yano vs. Minoru Suzuki/Zack Sabre Jr

Chaos vs. Suzuki-gun and I don’t quite see Yano matching up well with Sabre. Suzuki and Sabre’s British Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line and they have Taka Michinoku in their corner. He even throws in some custom introductions, which I again can’t understand. Suzuki and Ishii start things off and they go straight for the shots to the head. Neither can hit their finisher so it’s Sabre coming in and taking Ishii down in knots. Ishii gets up and goes with the power to take over, allowing the tag off to Yano.

This doesn’t go well either as Yano gets his arms cranked in short order. Suzuki comes in and stays on the arm with Sabre coming back in to work on the leg at the same time. An atomic drop gets Yano out of trouble and it’s off to Ishii for the hard chops in the corner. The sleeper doesn’t work on Ishii and it’s time for the big forearm exchange.

That means a double knockdown so Yano goes after the turnbuckle. Thankfully Sabre is right there to bend the arm around the ropes, making Yano scream again. Yano gets the other buckle pad off and Sabre misses a charge. The low blow is reversed into a double armbar and Yano gives up at 8:42.

Rating: D+. I get what Yano’s deal is and I’ve been tired of it for a long time. I know he’s had more success, but he comes off as the New Japan Santino with the same bits and the same jokes time after time. Ishii vs. Suzuki was fun, as always, and they were smart to keep this short.

Post match Ishii goes after Suzuki again and after a few chair shots each, they slug it out on the floor with the Young Lions coming in for the save.

Never Openweight Title: Michael Elgin vs. Taichi vs. Hirooki Goto

Goto is defending and Taichi, who seems to be a singer, has a good looking woman with him. Elgin is absolutely jacked and looking bigger than I’ve ever seen him. There’s no contact in the first minute as Taichi bails to the floor so the other two can go at it. Goto and Elgin lock up so Taichi comes back in for a rollup on the champ. That’s enough to send Taichi back to the floor and it’s Elgin with an enziguri to Goto.

Taichi comes back in to help kick Elgin down and gets suplexed onto Elgin for good measure. Elgin sends the two of them into each other and starts rolling the suplexes to take over for the first time. With the other two on the floor, Elgin hits a bit running flip dive because of course he can do that. Back in and Taichi gets two off a clothesline but walks into the fireman’s carry backbreaker which I still can’t spell.

Elgin gets belly to back superplexed but pops back up for a Tower of Doom with Taichi getting the worst of it. That sends Taichi to the floor, leaving Elgin and Goto to hit each other very hard. An electric chair suplex gives Elgin two on the champ but he misses an enziguri. Another fireman’s carry backbreaker sets up the GTR for two on Elgin but Taichi throws the woman inside. The distraction lets Taichi get two off a superkick, only to have Elgin buckle bomb both of them. The Elgin Bomb on Taichi is good for the pin and the title at 13:44.

Rating: C+. Elgin, while having some serious issues at the moment, is still fun to watch and looks more than intimidating enough to pull off something like this. Of course none of that matters as he wouldn’t even hold the title for two weeks, but at least we got a good performance to get the title on him in the first place. I can’t imagine he’ll be a big deal in the states for a good while so this is as good as it’s likely to get for him.

IWGP Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon

Evil and Sanada are defending and it’s Nick and Sanada running the ropes to start. A headscissors drops Sanada and it’s time for Nick to strike a pose. Stereo basement dropkicks have Sanada in trouble so Evil comes in, only to take half of a double dropkick. Back in and a side slam drops Matt as everything breaks down. There’s a whip into the barricade to keep Matt’s back in trouble, followed by a standing moonsault to give Sanada two.

Evil is smart enough to knock Nick off the apron but Nick is right back up for a kick to the head. The hot tag is on a few seconds later but Nick kicks the post by mistake. It’s fine enough to hold Evil, only to have Matt superkick his brother by mistake. Naturally the Bucks aren’t going to sell for more than about five seconds so they’re up top for a Tower of Doom with Sanada getting the worst of it.

The Meltzer Driver is broken up but Nick is fine enough to come in with a missile dropkick to save his brother from a dragon sleeper. Another Meltzer Driver attempt fails as Nick’s leg gives out and a Magic Killer gets two on Matt. Sanada starts cleaning house with dropkicks and there’s another dragon sleeper on Matt, with Nick making another save. The Bucks start in with superkicks and More Bang For Your Buck to Sanada gives them the titles at 14:53.

Rating: B+. It never ceases to amaze me how much better the Bucks’ matches are in New Japan than they are in Ring of Honor. Over in ROH it’s a bunch of superkicks at the end and then the Meltzer Driver with very few instances of them really ever being in trouble. Here they start fast, take a beating, sell the heck out of injuries, and grit their way to a win in an exciting finish. That’s actually entertaining and good, which isn’t something I would say more than once or twice in ROH. Do more of that and my complaints will be at a minimum.

Post match the Bucks hire Callis for All In.

Bullet Club vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/Jushin Thunder Liger/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Well you know that face team is getting a pop. It’s Cody, Hangman Page and Marty Scurll for the Club here. Rey is in tights, which I haven’t seen him wear in many, many years. He also has some rap song so it’s not all great. Liger and Scurll, who have been having issues of late, are about to start, but Rey and Page come in with no contact. Actually make that Tanahashi vs. Page, with the first contact coming a minute and a half in.

Takahashi headlocks him down and gives us some air guitar so it’s off to Cody after the strenuous grappling. Cody and Tanahashi exchange pushups before Rey and Scurll come in. That means we actually get something, including a sunset flip for two on Marty. Liger comes in and Scurll panics, partially due to a surfboard to make Marty scream. Marty does the same thing to take over and it’s Cody coming in to punch Liger in the mask.

The Club starts in on Liger’s leg and you know a villain and a guy named Hangman aren’t going to have issues with that. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (onto the good knee) gets Liger out of trouble and it’s back to Rey so things can speed up. The moonsault into a tornado DDT plants Scurll but Page makes a blind tag to break up the 619. Everything breaks down and the teams trade cheap shots from the apron.

Tanahashi and Page knock each other down so it’s Cody coming in to face Liger. The palm strike gives Liger two and it’s Page breaking up another 619 to Marty. I hope Scurll gets him a fruit basket. That’s fine with Rey, who hits a 619 to Scurll and Page at the same time. Ok maybe the fruit can be a little bruised. Mysterio and Tanahashi hit dives to the floor but the brainbuster is countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin on Liger at 11:36.

Rating: C+. Mysterio looked awesome here, easily the best I’ve seen him in a long time (maybe it’s the tights). There’s nothing wrong with the legends taking a loss here as the Bullet Club is the hottest thing in the world at the moment. Cody pinning Liger should be a nice little boost for him, though I’m not sure if Cody has anything going on around here other than feuding with Kenny Omega without feuding with Omega.

The heroes get a big sendoff.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi vs. Will Ospreay

Takahashi is challenging after winning the Best of the Super Juniors tournament. Ospreay already has a banged up neck after his injuries from about two months ago. They go straight at it with right hands and Ospreay charges into a belly to belly into the corner less than twenty seconds in. A sunset bomb to the floor is broken up so they fight to the ramp with Ospreay getting a running start for a big flip dive. The floor padding is pulled back but Ospreay can’t hit Stormbreaker (a double underhook twisted into a neckbreaker), meaning it’s time to head back inside.

Ospreay is fine enough for a running corner dropkick and he cranks back on both of Takahashi’s arms at once. How Zack Sabre Jr. of him. Takahashi bails to the floor, only to come back in and have his arm cranked a little more. After a double armbar is broken, Takahashi sends him outside for a hard dropkick from the apron to take over. A pop up powerbomb gives Takahashi two and some hard chops draw some swearing from Ospreay. The champ is back up with a 619 to the standing face and a springboard clothesline, apparently called Pip Pip Cheerio. That’s just great.

The Space Flying Tiger Drop (wacky Japanese move names are so much fun) puts Takahashi down again but the Oscutter is countered into a German suplex for a sweet reversal. They slug it out for a few seconds before cranking the pace WAY up. A pair of reverse hurricanranas look to set up the Stormbreaker but Takahashi reverses into a Code Red for no cover. That’s enough to send them to the apron, which is where Ospreay hurt himself in the first place. Instead of something stupid, it’s an apron superplex (in a power display you wouldn’t expect from Ospreay) before he drapes Takahashi over the top.

That means a shooting star press to the back (the Burning Star), because Ospreay does some insane flips. A corkscrew shooting star press (Neville’s Red Arrow) gets two and Stormbreaker is countered for a third time. This time it’s into a middle rope Canadian Destroyer, followed by a triangle choke as he’s really banging on that neck. Ospreay can’t powerbomb his way out of it so he lifts Takahashi up again and just drops him on his head for the break instead.

Another Oscutter is broken up as Takahashi shoves him off the ropes and hits a sunset bomb. Back in and a fireman’s carry into a spinning slam (kind of like Chris Sabin’s old Cradle Shock but called the Dynamite Plunger) gets two more and they’re both spent. The Time Bomb is escaped so Ospreay kicks him in the face. Stormbreaker is countered AGAIN into another triangle before Takahashi switches to a butterfly piledriver (geez). A Death Valley Driver into the corner sets up the Time Bomb for the pin on Ospreay and the title at 20:22.

Rating: A-. Well that was awesome. Takahashi played the neck perfectly and in the end it was one big move after another to finally put the champ away. He’s rather good, and the lack of that stupid Daryl thing made it even better. Ospreay is great of course and those flip are often incredible, especially for someone that much bigger than most cruiserweights. Awesome match, with a great story throughout, especially with how many times they changed the pace so drastically.

Takahashi rolls around on the mat with the title, laughing hysterically.

We recap Tetsuya Naito vs. Chris Jericho. Chris attacked him back in January but hasn’t wrestled since. Then Naito won the Intercontinental Title, only to be attacked by a masked Jericho. The title match is set, which could be a heck of a fight, especially with Jericho being so aggressive in Japan.

IWGP Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Tetsuya Naito

Naito is defending while Jericho is in some weird face paint and lipstick, plus leather pants. Kind of a Clockwork Orange look actually and that’s not working for me. Jericho jumps him on the floor before Naito can even get the white suit off. A kick to the back and a suplex on the floor have Naito in even more trouble as we’re still waiting on the opening bell. Jericho even powerbombs him through the table (great break) and Naito is rocked.

With Naito more or less dead, Jericho steals a camera and films himself flipping people off. A DDT onto (not through) a table makes it even worse but Jericho stops to sign an autograph on a format sheet. Jericho throws him inside and says to ring the f****** bell so he can cover for one.

The fans chant for Naito and get flipped off, followed by a butterfly backbreaker and the Lionsault for two. Some hard whips into the corner keep Naito down and the Walls go on, sending Naito straight to the rope. Naito gets in a hard slap and tackles Jericho down, finally allowing him to take off the vest. A neckbreaker on the apron and another from the apron to the floor has Jericho in trouble. It’s time to choke with the pants, followed by a few rams into the barricade.

Naito blasts him in the head with the broken table and piledrives him onto the same table from the DDT…..which still doesn’t break. Sweet goodness that’s a heck of a table. Back in and Naito, with his bloody eye, gets his super hurricanrana countered into the Walls. That’s escaped as well and Naito gets two off a DDT. The Walls go on for the third time but the fans drive him to the ropes for yet another break.

A German suplex and Destino get two with Jericho grabbing the rope. Now Naito is bleeding from the ear as well so Jericho slaps him upside the head. Naito’s flying forearm is countered into a Codebreaker for a near fall. The Lionsault hits knees and a pumphandle into a reverse suplex (that’s a new one) drops Jericho on his head. Back up and Jericho shoves the referee, kicks Naito low, and hits the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:18.

Rating: B+. This was similar to the Omega vs. Jericho match with Jericho playing the smoke and mirrors to a high level and presenting it as more of a fight than a match. Naito is a top guy in New Japan and will likely get a boost out of losing, as dropping a title to Jericho is hardly the worst thing in the world. If nothing else, Jericho losing the title to someone else is going to give them a heck of a rub. Really entertaining match here though and that’s all you would have expected from Jericho.

Post match Jericho hammers away at the bad eye and nails Naito with a belt shot. Jericho pulls off his belt to whip Naito, drawing in Evil for the save.

We recap the main event, which is the final blowoff to Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada, who come into this 1-1-1. Okada has held the title for nearly two years and has pretty much every record in the history of the belt. They wrestled to an hour draw here last year and now it’s time for a no time limit 2/3 falls match.

IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada

Okada is defending and it’s no time limit, 2/3 falls. Kota Ibushi and Gedo are the respective seconds. Feeling out process to start, which is exactly how something like this should be starting. A fight over arm control gives us a standoff so Omega takes him to the mat for a quickly broken hammerlock. Okada has some slightly better luck with a leg crank but Omega is next to the rope. They both tease right hands in the corner and things speed up in a hurry with both finishers missing to send both of them outside.

A hard whip into the barricade has Omega in trouble and there’s a running boot to the face, only to have Omega hit the first (of probably about 75) V Trigger of the match. That’s only good for two back inside so Omega starts kicking at the back, which Okada invites without much of a grimace. A backbreaker sets up a one arm camel clutch but Okada gets in a flapjack for a breather. Okada’s DDT gets two and we hit a rather bad looking cobra clutch. That goes nowhere so Okada sends him outside for a dive.

That’s fine with Omega, who tosses the champ over the barricade for a springboard dive and a nice reaction. Back in and another V Trigger misses, allowing Okada to grab a German suplex. They’re twenty minutes in here and it’s felt like half of that. Okada fights out of a super Snapdragon and Tombstones Omega on the apron, thankfully without the announcers telling us that it’s the hardest part of the ring. Omega gets sent ribs first into the barricade and you can see the confidence on Okada’s face.

A missile dropkick gets a lazy near fall but Okada takes too long loading up the Rainmaker and gets kicked to the floor. The Rise of the Terminator sets up the running no hands flip dive and the fans are rather impressed. Back in and Okada breaks up the Snapdragon and a One Winged Angel, so Omega V Triggers him again.

Omega’s German suplex gets two and there’s the third V Trigger. He still can’t hit the One Winged Angel (they’re setting that up very well) so Okada hits his perfect dropkick. There’s a Tombstone for two but the Rainmaker is countered, only to have the counter countered into a cradle to give Okada the first fall at 28:48.

We take a quick break for a few minutes before Okada dropkicks him to the floor to start the second fall. The ribs go into the apron and the barricade a second time as the champ is in full control. A hanging DDT off the barricade should knock Omega silly and they head back inside. Omega’s chops are shrugged off and it’s a big boot into another cobra clutch. That goes nowhere so let’s head outside again with a table being laid on top of Okada for a running double stomp from the apron. Again the table doesn’t break (the Dudleys must hate this country) and Omega gets his knees up to block a backsplash inside.

An AA drops Omega again and they’re both down one more time. Okada goes up top but gets caught in a superplex as the fans get behind Omega again. That’s cut off by a middle rope moonsault hitting knees so Okada stops to point at a table. The backdrop over the top (like in the first match) is blocked and Omega hits a running tornado DDT. Neither can hit anything off the apron but neither finisher can hit on the floor either.

Instead Omega hits a reverse hurricanrana to knock Okada silly but he’s back in at nineteen. The fifth V Trigger looks to set up the One Winged Angel, which is reversed into another Tombstone (I believe we’re at three now). Okada’s Rainmaker is countered into a spinning Rock Bottom for another double knockdown. The Snapdragon rocks Okada but he pops up with another dropkick to send Omega into the ropes.

We haven’t have a V Trigger in a bit so there’s number six, only to have Okada get two off the same rollup that won him the first fall. Therefore it’s another V Trigger to set up a double underhook piledriver for two on the champ. Hey look! A V Trigger! This one sets up the One Winged Angel to tie things up at 50:35. After another rest period, Okada is almost ready to remember what planet he’s on. Therefore, say it with me: V TRIGGER (that’s nine if you’ve lost count) but Okada reverses the One Winged Angel into the Rainmaker for a double knockdown.

That’s good for a delayed two and neither can hit a Tombstone. Okada misses the dropkick as Omega can’t come off the ropes. He’s fine enough to hit a Styles Clash with Okada grabbing the rope for a save. A V Trigger in the corner connects but the One Winged Angel is countered into a Tombstone which is countered into a Tombstone from Omega. Ibushi gets up on the apron for some advice, but Omega misses the Phoenix splash (Ibushi’s finisher).

We break into the hour mark with V Triggers eleven, twelve and thirteen, followed by two more dropkicks from Okada. The champ loads up another Rainmaker, which connects, but with almost no impact as he collapses from exhaustion (as Omega did last year when he was about to take the Rainmaker). They slug it out from their knees but Okada pulls him up for a quick Rainmaker. There’s a fourth Rainmaker and he loads up a fifth, which is countered into a German suplex.

Omega rolls some more German suplexes but gets reversed into another German suplex. Another Rainmaker attempt is countered into another German suplex and Omega adds a reverse hurricanrana to spike Okada on his head. ANOTHER V Trigger is countered with ANOTHER dropkick but ANOTHER Rainmaker attempt is countered into a kind of sloppy One Winged Angel. Omega can’t cover so it’s V Trigger lucky number fifteen and One Winged Angel #3 to give Omega the third fall and the title at 69:52 (including the breaks between falls).

Rating: A+. If I could go between A+/A here I would, but I’m not one to change a system that has served me very well for so many years and make things that much more complicated for everyone involved. The match is incredible and one of the best performances I’ve ever seen. The guys beat the heck out of each other and called back to their previous classics while adding in new stuff. Okada being the one to collapse on the Rainmaker was great and made Omega look like the better man. Omega winning two straight falls make him look like the rightful champion, capping off a great story.

But give me a break with the seven stars thing. As I’ve said many times: I’m now either supposed to believe that this is 40% better than any previous five star match, or every match ever has to be redone because the scale has changed. As I mentioned more than once: they repeat A LOT of moves and spots, plus at times it felt like they were repeating stuff and filling in spots for the sake of breaking an hour and having one of the longest title matches ever. There are times where that works (which it did here at some points) and there are times where it feels like you’re trying to be epic (which it did here at some points).

Overall, it’s definitely a masterpiece and well worth checking out, but is it the best match of all time? Heck if I know, and heck if anyone else knows too. This match was less than two weeks ago and I’ve been finished watching it for about fifteen minutes. One of the my all time favorite matches and a match that I would put on a short list for best match of all time is Austin vs. Hart at Wrestlemania XIII. I watched that match last year and I was STILL finding new stuff about it that I hadn’t noticed before.

Will that be the case here? Probably, but I’d like to wait until the following month before putting it among the best of all time and above so many other things that have impressed me before. Over time, matches are looked at in different ways and tastes can change dramatically throughout the years. I know it’s great, but immediately giving it some kind of other worldly praise sounds like a six year old who just saw THE NEW GREATEST AND COOLEST MOVIE HE’S EVER SEEN for the fifth time this year.

The other question is will the match hold up as well over time. I know the immediate answer is yes, but look at what they did just a year and a half ago. The Wrestle Kingdom XI match was given six stars by Meltzer, meaning that this match has now left that one in the dust if you’re using the same scale (this match would be about 17% better if you’re a numbers person). If you’re basing it on that, the Wrestle Kingdom match is blown away by this one and isn’t even in the discussion. That took a year and a half. What is this match going to be seen as at this time next year?

In other words, let these matches sink in a bit before they’re labeled as the best ever or SO much better than anything else that’s ever been done before. It makes things sound silly instead of great, which is the point in offering these matches so much praise. The match was great, I’d watch it again, and Omega deserves to be champion after taking the title from maybe the best champion ever. If the match can hold up and stand the test of time, then we’ll see if it’s as good as some have claimed it to be. Amazing match, despite a few issues here and there.

Post match the Young Bucks come out and celebrate with Omega, officially setting things right with them before he’ll even accept the title. Omega thanks the fans in Japanese and says this was his final goal. He’ll be here for the future and (in English) he’s been told to stay calm and tranquilo. That’s not his way though and he knows with these men at his side, they can do anything. Omega bids us goodnight and goodbye but here’s Cody to walk halfway down the ramp and then turn around to end the show. Eh it worked for Owen Hart.

Overall Rating: A-. Great show, as New Japan always tends to be. The first hour and a half or so didn’t exactly blow me away (though it was quite watchable) and then it picked up a lot in the second half and never looked back. New Japan has stopped being on a roll and now is just this good. Wrestle Kingdom could go multiple ways and the G1 should be very interesting. I’m curious as to how long Omega holds the title, and if he’ll stick around after dropping it. Really, what else is left for him to do in New Japan now that he’s won the title? Anyway, another incredible night which again flew by, which New Japan does better than anyone.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 2004
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means one final push for Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which is always going to get more attention than the match the show is named after. Hopefully it’s a little better than last week’s build which droned on and on without actually adding anything. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Coach is in the back with a bunch of wrestlers who will be in the Royal Rumble on Sunday. Since he’s in charge tonight, Coach is going to have a battle royal tonight with the winner getting the number thirty spot. However, you have to qualify for the battle royal by winning your regular matches tonight. If there is any interference, you’re out of the Rumble entirely. Reason #1 why Coach is better at this than Bischoff: this took less than three minutes rather than the ten it would have likely taken Bischoff in the arena.

Opening sequence.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Matt Hardy

The Matt Facts are back and it turns out that he loves Mongolian BBQ’s and his counter tops are all granite. That could help for future gifts. Rob flips over Matt to start and scores with a spinning kick to the face for an early two. Booker comes in to punch Christian a bit and a backdrop makes things even worse. A trip from the floor lets Matt pull Booker outside for a beating, allowing Christian to grab the neck crank. Makes sense after the Tombstone last week. Matt comes in with a neck crank of his own as JR and King critique Booker’s rap song.

The fans tell Christian that he sucks and they seem very pleased when Booker kicks him out of the air. Van Dam comes in off the hot tag and a standing moonsault gets two on Matt. Rolling Thunder hits knees though and Matt puts his feet on the ropes for two of his own. The villains try a double backdrop so it’s a double ax kick from Booker, setting up the Five Star to give Van Dam the pin on Matt, putting Booker and Van Dam in the battle royal.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match to put some fan favorites into the main event tonight. Christian and Matt are a pretty random team but it’s not like Booker and Van Dam have anyone else of note to beat. Granted it’s not like the match means anything as it’s all about the main event anyway so it’s hard to get too annoyed.

Remember how WWE hyped up Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner last week? Well now Test has been added to make it a triple threat.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Coach is on commentary. Dupree gets in an early hiptoss to set up the French dancing, only to have the fans start up a Jericho chance. Dancing haters. Jericho dropkicks him outside but Dupree dropkicks him out of the air back inside. They exchange abdominal stretches and more dancing just annoys Jericho. He knocks Dupree away and does his own dance, setting up the bulldog into the Lionsault. Dupree’s knees are up and a Death Valley Driver gets two. Not that it matters as the Walls make Dupree tap without much trouble so we’ll see Jericho later tonight.

Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how much better Dupree is when he has someone like Jericho out there to walk him through a match. Believe it or not, one of the best of all time is capable of putting anyone into a good match and that’s what happened here. Jericho’s face turn is starting to take hold and that should be a good thing going forward.

The Friends and Supporters of Mick Foley air their Foley isn’t a hardcore legend ad, which is still funny.

Christian asks Jericho to use his Survivor Series favor to get into the battle royal but that’s not happening. That sounds like something that’s going to matter later.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn Michaels, who used to be best friends but then HHH became all evil. Then they had a long feud with some traded wins and then Shawn pinned him on the last Raw of the year but it didn’t count. Now we’re having a Last Man Standing match. Now why does that need such a long recap?

Rico vs. Mark Henry

Rico wastes no time in spanking Mark and even throws in a kiss to Teddy Long. Back in and Henry runs him over, setting up the nerve hold. Rico fires up with some kicks but misses something off the top. The World’s Strongest Slam sends Henry to the battle royal.

Flair gives Evolution a pep talk for Sunday.

Classic Royal Rumble moment: Maven eliminates Undertaker in 2002.

Kane vs. Spike Dudley

Spike tries to come off the top and gets choked a lot. More choking in the corner has the referee pulling Kane off so Spike shoves the referee, who thinks Kane did it. That’s a DQ to send Spike to the battle royal.

Kane wrecks Spike post match.

House show videos.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Test

Test gets double teamed to start and the beatdown is on in a hurry. A double clothesline drops Test and Steiner and Goldberg punches away at Steiner in the corner. Test gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Steiner gets two off a belly to belly suplex. There’s a double suplex to Goldberg but he avoids a clothesline, which hits Steiner instead.

The gorilla press powerslam plants Steiner but draws Test back in for the save. Test and Steiner argue over who gets to pin Goldberg until Steiner sends Test outside. A hot shot sets up the Steiner Recliner, only to have Test break it up. The spear and Jackhammer end Test, putting Goldberg in the battle royal.

Rating: D. Pick a triple threat that follows the exact same formula that we’ve seen dozens of times. There was no need to make this a triple threat but if it was to protect us from having to see Steiner go one on one, he can’t get out of here fast enough. Also, what would it say if Test is brought in to protect you?

We get a new Mick Foley ad, calling him a coward and a scared little girl. Randy Orton is a fearless superstar though.

Austin watches the ad, shakes his head, and rides through the back on the ATV very fast, nearly running over Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade.

Wrestlemania recall: the Brawl for All with the hilarious Bart Gunn knockout.

Here’s Austin for a chat. Austin gets straight to the point: Foley walked out of the company and then wouldn’t come fifteen minutes to the arena last week. That’s not the Foley that Austin knows and used to ride up and down the road with every night. They used to take the cheapest rental cars to the cheapest hotel rooms where they used to see who could make Diamond Dallas Page crack first. That’s not the Foley that Austin remembers so he wants Foley at the Rumble to beat up Orton once and for all. Austin toasts Foley, hoping that he’ll do the right thing.

Video on the launch party for the Originals CD. I could see the appeal of getting to meet Austin, Jericho and Trish among others.

Molly Holly and Trish get catty until Christian takes Molly’s place. He and Jericho had a great time last week on the road trip and Christian has some pictures on his phone to prove it. Jericho seemed to have some fun with a few good looking women. Trish was the last thing on his mind. Christian looks at his phone one more time, reminding him of the midgets.

Lita vs. Jazz

Not a battle royal qualifying match. The fans are already cheering for Lita so Jazz takes her down to the mat for some crossface shots. A monkey flip into some right hands have Jazz in trouble but she gets in a dropkick to the back of the head. Jazz’s chinlock doesn’t last long as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Foley. A spinning belly to back suplex sets up the reverse Twist of Fate but Long offers a distraction so Jazz can roll her up (with tights) for the pin.

Rating: D. That finish is getting very old and I don’t see things getting much better in the women’s division anytime soon. The fact that I saw Molly with the title about ten minutes ago and couldn’t remember who the champion was isn’t a good sign. They’re just going from feud to feud with no apparent direction and that gets old.

Hurricane is used to being the underdog and he’ll do it again tonight. He believes in himself though and that’s going to take him to the main event of Wrestlemania. That was a fired up promo.

We recap Foley not showing up last week.

Randy Orton vs. Hurricane

Non-title. Orton wastes no time in pounding Hurricane in the back, followed by a heck of a clothesline for two. A dropkick sets up a cravate but Hurricane fights up with a quick clothesline. Something like a reverse neckbreaker gets two on Orton and the high crossbody is good for the same. And never mind as the RKO ends Hurricane, wrapping up a short match with a lot packed in.

Post match Evolution comes out to gloat so Rosey comes in to keep an eye on his friend. The beatdown is on so the Dudleys make the real save but Orton saves Flair from going through a table. Coach comes in to yell and goes through it instead.

Henry talks trash to Jericho, who accuses him of eating moose vomit. Those are fighting words, with Henry promising to leave his “stank” on Trish. Henry: “And my stank smells good.”

Battle Royal

Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Goldberg, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Mark Henry

Spike is injured so we’re down to six men instead. Goldberg wastes no time in cleaning house until everyone gets together to beat him down. That includes a Five Star Frog Splash but Booker dumps Van Dam. Jericho gets rid of Booker seconds later, leaving Jericho and Orton to both skin the cat. Henry starts throwing people around and knocks Goldberg down but can only send Jericho to the apron.

A missile dropkick puts Henry down and Jericho dropkicks Goldberg’s knee out for good measure. Orton and Henry get together to toss Jericho and we’re down to three. Goldberg tries to fight back and spears Henry down but Orton makes the save. Instead Orton tries to do it himself so Goldberg knocks Henry out with a hard shoulder. Cue the rest of Evolution so Goldberg throws Orton onto the two of them for the win.

Rating: D-. Yeah that was pretty bad, with the win basically guaranteeing that you have no chance to win on Sunday. Goldberg is a good enough choice for the final spot as he can come in and wreck a few people before someone throws him out in the setup to a big angle. This was little more than a formality, though Orton did feel like he had a chance of winning.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost a stand alone show and it was very smart to not have Shawn Michaels and HHH on the show. There’s no need to waste time on that match after we spent so much time on it last week. The Rumble itself needed some build and it got the focus tonight, making this a better show than recent weeks but still nothing great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 12, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 6,100
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing in on the Royal Rumble and we’re finally starting to talk about the thing. Last week saw the first few names officially announced for the Royal Rumble match and we also have Shawn Michaels vs. HHH confirmed in a Last Man Standing match. Hopefully we get some more stuff added to the card, just to flesh things out a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Coach comes out for commentary because we’re just that lucky.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Trish goes after Jazz on the floor, leaving Lita to monkey flip Molly to start things off. Jazz comes in instead and gets suplexed down, only to have Molly pull Lita off the top. Another distraction lets Molly work on the arm but Jazz isn’t interested in some double teaming, mainly due to their issues last week. I can always go for some continuity, even in small doses.

Jazz misses a splash and it’s off to Trish for the first time. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s a headlock takeover to Molly/headscissors to Jazz, followed by a spinebuster (a rarity from Trish) for two. Lita and Molly head to the floor but Theodore Long offers a distraction so Jazz can grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. They were starting to get somewhere and then we had the same ending that happens far too often around here. The division still needs some fresh blood (Did Gail Kim fall into a hole or something?) and having these four fight again isn’t what’s going to make things any better.

Post match Long grabs Trish by the hair, drawing in Chris Jericho and Mark Henry for the save and beatdown.

Here’s Matt Hardy (oh yeah he’s on Raw) for a chat. Matt isn’t happy with everyone trying to steal his spotlight over the years and now Steve Austin is doing it too. Cue Austin on the ATV (with JR getting in the second usage of “Monday Night Raw is where you come to break the rules”, the new slogan, of the night) to make a lot of noise.

Austin talks about being here to enforce the law, which isn’t happening if you’re just getting beaten up. Now someone coming out here and running his mouth about getting nowhere, that’s breaking the law. He’s ready to beat Hardy up right now but Hardy wants fresh competition, and he’s wrestled Austin before. Austin: “I oughta write you a ticket for impersonating a wrestler.” Austin issues an open challenge for someone Matt has never faced before and it’s time for a match.

Matt Hardy vs. Bill Goldberg

Didn’t Eric Bischoff deactivate Goldberg for a while? Matt tries to jump him and gets shoved down for his efforts as JR recaps Goldberg being deactivated. A pumphandle suplex sends Hardy flying but he’s right back with a Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is countered into a gorilla press and the spear/Jackhammer complete the destruction.

Post match Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble. That’s the kind of name you need to be announced so good move.

In the back, Bischoff rants about Austin bringing Goldberg back but Austin says Bischoff never officially filed the paperwork to get rid of Goldberg. Well that’s quite the weak loophole. Bischoff relents but Austin can’t make matches going forward. I’m sure.

The Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton air the same ad from last week.

Orton has a seat waiting for Mick Foley in the front row if he’s willing to come the fifteen minutes from his house to the arena. Tonight can server as an example for what Foley can expect if he ever dares to come after Orton again.

D-Von Dudley vs. Batista

Batista wastes no time in jumping D-Von as JR talks about how unfair it is that Batista and Ric Flair are Tag Team Champions. A few shots to the head set up a suplex and a chinlock as Batista running a match isn’t the best idea in the world at this point. D-Von comes back with a jumping elbow and the top rope headbutt. It seems to have banged him up as well though and the Batista Bomb ends D-Von as Bubba and Flair fight on the floor.

Rating: D-. Can we really not just get two jobbers to be fed to Flair and Batista here instead of this one member vs. one member formula? D-Von isn’t exactly great on his own and Batista isn’t ready for a match like this, though at least he found something else to do besides the spinebuster and Batista Bomb. Just find a better way to advance feuds.

Orton is still waiting for Foley to arrive so he’s going to send a limo for him.

Long comes up to Jazz and Henry to explain how Bischoff set him up last week (“typical white man”) because he didn’t say how much power Austin really had around here. To make up for it, Henry gets Jericho later tonight.

Scott Steiner comes up to Goldberg and brings up their history in WCW. Steiner is in the Rumble as well and they’re fighting next week. Methinks this is a rare instance of WCW doing it far better.

Coach is in the ring to emcee a sitdown interview between HHH and Shawn Michaels. After Coach praises HHH and mocks Shawn during their entrances, we’re ready to go. Hang on a second though as Shawn throws the furniture out because this is man to man. Coach gets to the first topic of the DX days, which Shawn doesn’t seem interested in talking about. HHH says Shawn saw him as a sidekick but Shawn says they were equals.

That’s called out as nonsense (as it should be) and they get in an argument over who carried the wagon more. Shawn carried it until a broken back stopped him (and Steve Austin taking his place) but HHH carried it as soon as Shawn wasn’t there to take the spotlight. Apparently Shawn came back for reasons that HHH can never understand but HHH does understand: it was jealous because Shawn had to prove that he was the better man.

That brought them right here to this arena where Shawn proved that he was the better man in a street fight. HHH says Shawn won but got carried out while HHH was on his feet. This has always been about who is the best and it’s coming full circle again. HHH says he’s the ultimate student of this game and he’s studied everyone. Shawn is at the top of the list and there are only a few people who can be up there with him. As good as he is though, HHH is that much better.

That brings us to the title (after spending seven minutes arguing about everything else), which some people say either of them should hold. That ends at the Rumble and it might come down to just one second. All it’s going to take is one second for HHH to prove that he’s the champion and the best. Shawn likes that one second idea and superkicks Coach to show how fast it can be. As usual with HHH’s big promos, this was much longer and slower than it needed to be and didn’t tell us much of anything that we didn’t already know. You don’t have to sell HHH vs. Shawn this hard and they could have used this time better elsewhere.

And now, an ad for Heat. Ok then.

Booker T. vs. Kane

Booker has the bad hip hop version of his theme, which is just him saying catchphrases to a beat. Kane gets aggressive to start and clotheslines Booker in the corner but gets kicked in the face. More kicks are countered with a good crotching and Kane sends him into the steps…for a DQ.

Post match Kane stays on him but misses a chair shot. He settles for a Tombstone instead.

Another anti-Foley ad questions his status as a hardcore legend, showing clips of his comedy stuff. These things have been funny.

Foley still isn’t here.

Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Henry has Long and Jazz in his corner. Jericho goes right up to him and is forearmed in the back for his efforts. A missed charge puts Henry on the floor and a baseball slide rocks him down again. Henry gets in a whip to the steps but Jericho sends him into the corner back inside. The missile dropkick gets two with the kickout powering Jericho way off. Henry bends him back first over the knee for a bit before switching to a bearhug.

Jericho slips out and dropkicks the knee but the Walls are quickly broken up. The bulldog literally pulls Henry’s hair out but Jazz grabs Jericho’s foot to stop the Lionsault. That earns her a beating from an invading Trish and Jericho somehow gets the Walls. The women get in the ring so the referee misses Henry tapping, which of course draws Long to the apron. Jericho lets go and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry is getting watchable after a few weeks of practice as he’s just there to stand in one place and show off the power while the smaller and more talented wrestlers do most of the work. That’s a good place for Henry and as long as they treat him like a monster, he can be a useful human.

Post break Christian yells at Jericho for wasting his time on Trish and says they’re going to hit up the town tonight and get her off his mind. They leave and Trish comes in, looking upset that she missed him.

Evolution is talking about Foley when Austin runs up on the ATV. In tonight’s main event, they better leave Orton alone in the main even. They don’t seem to buy it so Austin chases them with the ATV before stopping to spin in circles.

Foley still isn’t here.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging and makes the mistake of chasing Orton, who stomps him back to the floor. That’s fine with Rob, who is right back in with a spinwheel kick to put Orton on the floor this time. Orton gets posted and looks a bit dead before coming up with a busted forehead. Rob hits the spinning kick to Orton’s back, knocking him into the empty chair….as the limo pulls up in the back.

We come back from a break with Orton in control in the corner and shoving Van Dam off the top for a heck of a crash into the barricade. Back in and Orton keeps him down with a bodyscissors, including some growling trash talk. As you might expect, the fans want Foley but have to settle for Van Dam elbowing Orton in the face. Orton is right back with an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker (I’ve always liked that move) and it’s off to a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back.

It’s back to the bodyscissors but this time Orton spices it up a bit by ripping at Van Dam’s face. Good grief that thing has been on for almost five minutes now. Do something else. Rob fights up and gets two off a northern lights suplex. A springboard kick to the face seems to completely miss but a camera angle bails them out (which doesn’t happen nearly as often these days).

Rolling Thunder and a springboard moonsault give Rob two each (in case you thought Orton did those things) but Orton knees him in the face. There’s the ref bump and the low blow cuts Van Dam down. Orton then lays down and yells at the referee to wake up before trying the RKO. I have no idea what the point of the laying down was but Rob uses the delay to kick Orton in the face. He gets crotched on top though and the hanging DDT from the top retains the title.

Rating: D+. This really was longer than it needed to be with the bodyscissors dragging the match out and the ref bump going nowhere. Van Dam should be done as a challenger now and that clears the way for whatever they have to do to get us to Foley vs. Orton. That’s Van Dam’s best role in the company: a short term champion who can lose the title to a hot prospect heel and give them a rub in a rematch.

Foley never showed up and we didn’t see who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: D. It’s another night with the heels dominating as Jericho, Booker T. and Van Dam all losing and the Foley tease going nowhere. Oh but we did get a LONG chat between Shawn and HHH, which is what the world was waiting for. They’re adding a few names into the Rumble but they’ve done a rather boring job of getting us there. At least we still have Austin vs. Bischoff, no matter what Austin’s new official job title is. Bad, dry show here as the heels continue to run everything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Again, this is a very old review so I apologize for the lower quality.

Insurrextion 2001
Date: May 5, 2001
Location: Earls Court, London, England
Attendance: 15,784
Commentators: Michael Cole, Paul Heyman

So it’s a month after Mania X7 here and we’re back in England. This is a double request in a way as I was asked to do British PPVs as well as this show in particular so there you are. We’re in the two man power trip era here as the main event is HHH and Austin vs. Undertaker for the title which is more complicated than it should be.  There’s also the Queen’s Cup which is a fictitious title for this show only. This is 2001 WWF. Do you need more explanation than that? The Alliance hasn’t started yet so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

We open with Commissioner Regal saying the whole card has been changed. Vince comes in and says that Regal is doing stuff he’s not allowed to do. Regal says he didn’t do that. Vince says he didn’t do that. Apparently Linda did all this stuff. Linda of course pops up behind Vince as he’s ranting about everything. This segment goes on way too long. After five minutes, we’re ready to open the show.

What an odd commentary team.

Grandmaster Sexay vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is Grandmaster’s final appearance with the company for reasons of suck I guess. Eddie lost the European Title to Matt Hardy of all people. It’s not like being European meant anything with only Regal and Bulldog being European. Eddie would be gone soon for drugs anyway so there we are. This is a very hot crowd with one Phoenix being in attendance. Yeah he was the other request.

Eddie doing the Sexay dance is hilarious to say the least. I think Eddie was supposed to be champion here as he lost it like a week earlier. Grandmaster, how do you suck so much? Your dad is a legend and you’re just a freaking joke. And that’s being nice. He’s like an annoying indy gimmick that isn’t sure what his gimmick is.

The crowd is ALL OVER Eddie. That’s not bad. Grandmaster misses a…something and gets rolled up with Eddie using the ropes to win from nowhere. That was really abrupt.

Rating: D+. Uh what the heck was that? Seriously it felt like it was 3 minutes short or something. Also, why were these two in a singles match?  It’s very random but that’s what you get on these shows.  Not the worst, but an odd choice.

HHH is with Stephanie. She cannot act. They’re tag champions here too. He talks about the main event. Yeah that’s it.

Dean Malenko/Terri/Perry Saturn vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly/Molly Holly

Uh…yeah. See what I mean when I say these cards had a tendency to feel thrown together? Terri is someone I rarely get the appeal of. Outside of her looks, what’s the point?  Ah ok Terri isn’t going to wrestle. Got it. Yeah I don’t care either. The Hollies get a pop.  Molly of course beats up Terri for a bit to a big pop.

Ok so it’s Hardcore and Saturn to start. Paul calls Saturn the Bald Bombshell. I like it. Dear lord help me I like it. Cole’s voice sounds a bit horse. Dang it what is the deal with the air horns over there? They’re freaking annoying! Saturn is fun to watch but he’s a bit nuts.

For the second time in the match we’re told he’s a machine. Ok good to know. Molly is on the apron even though she’s not in this match that I know of. Crash is freaking OVER. What the heck??? Terri breaks up a pin and we get a catfight. Saturn hits the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Crash to get the pin. Only in wrestling would that make sense.

Rating: D. Again, what in the heck was this? It’s just a random match that made no sense and was just there. It’s not particularly good but it’s a good bit bad. This was just a waste of time but I guess they had to pad the two hour and twenty minute show somehow.

Regal is REALLY popular in London. This is just weird to see.

Regal is next to the Queen’s Cup, which would be Edge’s King of the Ring Cup.

Test is injured so he can’t fight tonight. Show says he’s a coward. It’s weird seeing Show with hair. This was during Show’s one piece swimsuit era. I don’t know what they were thinking during this time period but whatever. Test comes out and gets his head handed to him in a non-match. Dang his music was awesome.

I will stand by what I said when I said Test should have gotten a very short title reign in 1999 but it went to Big Show instead. Show kind of does an open challenge and then leaves before anyone can answer it. He looks way more intimidating with hair. And here’s Bradshaw to fight him.

Bradshaw vs. Big Show

Odd again. All of these European shows have a bad case of strangeness to them. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw would be a more important world champion than Show? Those chops Show did were freaking insane. EMTs come out to take care of Test. A flying shoulder just looks cool. There goes the referee.

Show goes after Test when he’s trying to leave which of course doesn’t work. A big boot into a steel chair and the Clothesline ends this with Bradshaw winning it for NO explainable reason. Dude it’s 2001 and Bradshaw beat Big Show. What sense does that make?

Rating: C-. Not bad for a big man fight. The booking is bearable I guess as it’s a show no one is going to see or hear about for months. This was just your standard battle of the big men which usually works pretty well. This was fine for what it was I guess but REALLY short.

Austin says Taker is stupid and the Decade of Destruction ends tonight. Amazingly, this is the halfway point of Taker’s WWE run. That’s insane.

Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. X-Factor

For those of you that have no freaking clue who X-Factor is, there’s likely a pair of reasons for that. One is that half of the team is Justin Credible and the other is that the second half of the team is X-Pac. They were a blink and you’ll miss it stable that also included Albert. Their music was AWESOME though, even if they never won anything.

The Dudleys are of course WAY over. None of these guys are champions here and it’s elimination rules. That’s fun if nothing else. Seriously, why is X-Factor in this? DANG the Hardys got a nice pop.

This was just after the Hardys had their mini feud with Austin and HHH which transitioned to the Brothers of Destruction vs. Two Man Power Trip which is one of my favorite moments ever. If you ever want to see me get fired up, give me a scene where a face comes in from nowhere to save the day. I live for stuff like that. Ok not really but I really like them.

Justin and Bubba start. It’s a low ECW ratio tonight with only 3/8 being in the original organization. How in the world can people say that company meant nothing at all? Seriously, they’re stupid if they refuse to admit the truth about how influential it was. Justin and Bubba start us off. You can tell Heyman loves this. And now we shift to Christian and Matt, both future ECW Champions. That’s freaking amazing. Ok not really but it’s 230 AM and I’m tired so it’s more interesting than it should be.

Jeff gets a POP from the girls in the crowd. X-Pac comes in and is said to have youth and experience. In TMNT 2 that would make him a Keno/Splinter hybrid. Wow that would be epic. A women’s battle royal is mentioned which I don’t think is coming during a Bronco Buster. I hate that move. I truly do.

Jeff comes in again and again gets a big pop. Sweet goodness this was 9 years ago. That’s hard to believe. Everything breaks down and the Hardys double team special and a missed Albert splash ends X Factor. Less than ten seconds later an Unprettier puts Jeff out.

So it’s Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys. Again, why did we need to have X Factor in there? This turns into your standard tag match with D-Von being the face in trouble, or playing Ricky Morton for those old school fans. This is one of those pairings that it’s just hard to mess up. Ah there’s your tag and Christian is LAUNCHED up on a back body drop.

Cole, the idiot that he is, says that What’s Up is being said in a universal language. Cole, IT’S THE SAME IN ENGLAND AND IN AMERICA. WOW I cannot stand that idiot at times. Table is attempted but doesn’t work. 3D is avoided, perhaps because they shout 3D just before it. With them on the floor, Rhyno hits the ring and gores Bubba so Edge can get the pin. Rhyno sets up a table but here’s Spike. Rhyno takes 3D through the table.

Rating: B-. Match number 3837 in their more or less never ending series. The key here though is they had known each other so well that the matches were almost always good. This was no exception. X-Factor had no point being there but whatever. The Edge/Dudleys and 4 team parts were fine so it passes with a decent grade.

We get highlights of a charity dinner from the previous night. Stephanie in a dress is a good thing. This is always cool and anytime something is being done for charity, even just showing up and saying some prewritten thing that you don’t mean, means a lot as you’re donating your time to something good, in this case being Make-A-Wish. Nothing wrong with this as charity is always cool.

Angle is ready for his 2/3 falls match and wants his medals that Benoit stole back. He would eventually get them back in a hilarious segment where Benoit had them down his tights and Angle grabbed them out and kissed them.

Steven Richards and Ivory, still in RTC, are here. Seriously, they picked this guy to substitute for Big Show in No Mercy? Why wasn’t he in the game in the first place? That never made any sense. We hear about Page Three and the models thing which is just amusing and really does show the cultural issues.

We saw one for like a second on Super Bowl Sunday and ever since then the halftime show has been acts my dad enjoys. Apparently the women’s battle royal is cancelled. This of course gets booed. The girls are going to come out and show how their ways are changed. First is Jackie. How about changing her to fired? Freshly face Trish is next and of course looks good.

Third is Lita. Sweet goodness she was a huge deal. She had the looks, the sex appeal, the look and the abilities. Note that there is a difference between looks and look. So wait was this a four Diva battle royal? What the heck? Ivory makes fun of them all and you figure the rest out.

Trish is really bad in the ring at this point and there goes Ivory’s clothes. RTC was a great gimmick if nothing else. Trish hits on him. This is rather amusing. He gets a low blow of course and there go his pants. Lita takes her top off and we get her cool theme song if nothing else following the moonsault. Harmless fun.

We see a clip from the Ultimate Submission match at Backlash with Benoit and Angle. They were tied up with 4 seconds to go and Benoit held it out but tapped like 2 seconds after. Benoit then won in overtime. He stole the medals on Raw, leading to this.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

2/3 falls of Benoit and Angle? OH YEAH!!! Angle wants his medals and Benoit says they’re in a warm place. Apparently this is a week after Backlash. Should be noted that this is one of the combinations that I start the grading out at a B instead of a C given who is in the ring. Heyman says there’s a 6 pound weight difference between the two with Benoit at 229 and Angle at 236. Now how could a man with that kind of education have accounting issues?

The mat work that these two could do was amazing to say the least. It’s art out there. How often do you get to say that? Both go for their submissions and neither can get it this early of course. Dang Angle could throw a suplex. Then again so can Benoit. Benoit just goes nuts with the suplexes of various geographic designs. After about 9 of them a diving headbutt gives Benoit a completely clean pin.

That’s a bit odd but I guess you could argue that Angle knew he didn’t have to win the first fall. Angle pulls a Bret Hart and pretends to be hurt after the first fall. He hits a belly to belly from the top that is just a thing of beauty. It’s so crisp and it looks perfect the entire way. It goes to show you how good things could be if you just go with the basics and a wrestling based style.

I love how basic they keep things and at the same time how effective it can be. Then you get something out of nowhere like a DDT from Benoit. When has either of these guys used a DDT? Angle Slam is countered and it’s German time again.

The headbutt misses this time though so we get a bit of psychology there. It’s minor but it’s there. Both submissions are reversed but Benoit reverses Angle’s reversal into a rollup for the second straight fall. Post match Benoit pulls the medals out of his tights. This is great stuff and it’s so simple.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here but did you expect something else? With only 15 minutes for two falls, how great can they make stuff though? They always had great matches and it’s pretty clear I love watching them. The wrestling was crisp and it came off great of course. The two straight falls were a bit of a surprise though so that’s a bit odd but still, solid stuff all around.

Austin complains about life in general. And the three treat Debra like crap. Good. She looks like it too. Stephanie looks great so there you go.

We get the exact same video package from Mania about Jericho vs. Regal. Well to be fair, how much new material is there and how much new stuff new stuff is there? Ah ok they did add some new stuff. That’s good. The start was the same though. We recap the Duchess of Queensbury match from Backlash which had a bunch of weird rules where more or less only Regal could win. Jericho beat Regal up on Raw. See, THIS is what we need at these shows: a reason to freaking care.

The Queen’s Cup is presented. Yeah it means nothing.

Queen’s Cup: William Regal vs. Chris Jericho

Regal gets a nice pop. Why are British wrestlers listed in stones in America and pounds in England? Regal looks a good bit less fat here for some reason. Jericho gets a much better pop which doesn’t surprise me. Dang Jericho was awesome at this time. Again: Jericho and Edge need face title runs. So does Orton. I have issues calling the month long transitional reign he had in 04 a real reign.

This should be sweet. Jericho busts out a high cross body. Where did that come from? They do the bad shoulder for Jericho as they did at Mania. Sweet goodness these two are fun to watch. Back to back good matches on a European show? What the heck is going on? This is a fun match. Regal is getting to show off quite a bit. DaNG Regal’s thigh is all blue and purple. Apparently he has a thigh bruise. That’s an understatement if nothing else.

Regal hooks a cobra clutch to go I guess retro on us. Regal is controlling here in case you were confused. Jericho is tied in the ropes which is a spot we need to see more often. An enziguri gets Jericho out of trouble and both guys are down.

No Jericho didn’t hit an enziguri while tied in the ropes. He’s great but not that great. I love that missile dropkick off the middle rope. It’s a cool spot while not being as high risk. Lionsault is blocked. Regal uses the spinout slam that Cena uses now. Wow Cena was just a year away at this point. And all of a sudden the Walls are on and we’re done. That came from a good bit of nowhere. Post match Regal breaks the cup over Jericho.

Rating: B+. This is a weird grade for me. While I liked it better than the Benoit/Angle match, it’s getting the same grade. They’re different kinds of matches. This was more of a popcorn match while Benoit and Angle were more of a performance. Both were very good, but at the same time they were completely different kinds of matches if that makes sense. It’s better than their very good Mania match, which is saying something I think.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. The Two Man Power Trip which had three men of course. The Brothers lost the tag titles to them at Backlash in the all titles are on the line match. HHH is IC Champion and Austin is WWF Champion. Kane had a bad elbow and it cost them the tag titles, so Austin and HHH have all the main titles.

They injured Kane so Taker is on his own tonight in a handicap match for the world title. Kane would win the IC Title at Judgment Day and I think the next night HHH would tear his quad so we never got to the end of the angle, which of course would have been Austin vs. HHH, likely at Summerslam. Not sure if the Alliance would have happened then or not but I’d think not.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. HHH/Steve Austin

Keep in mind, it’s announced that Taker only wins the title if he pins Austin. In other words, there is no point in going after HHH and no point in Austin ever wanting to tag in. I never liked Austin’s music at this time. He gets a pop even though he’s a heel which he needs to be at the time as his face status wasn’t going to work. Yet he was still getting pops. The problem was that he wasn’t going to be able to stay over with Rock as the epic face that he was so they had to turn Austin heel.

That and they had done Austin vs. everyone else already. But then again I think I’m the only person to like Austin’s heel turn. Taker uses his brain and grabs a chair to hold both guys off. Austin’s leg braces are partially gold. That just looks odd. What I liked about Austin as a heel was he was still the same badass. He just worked with Vince.

That was the problem with Austin though: he had so many heel tendencies already that it was hard to truly turn him without killing him completely. Corporate Austin wouldn’t have worked, at least not in my eyes. No one would have bought it after all the years he had fighting authority. They fight in the aisle as I’m assuming we have DQs here. Why in the world would you try a piledriver on the floor? Has that EVER worked? Well yeah but not in a main event match.

Taker COMPLETELY misses an elbow smash and HHH sells it anyway. That was just awful looking. Again, one ECW guy in there. Did anyone not go there at some point? Well I guess HHH and Taker didn’t so there. Austin is down…somewhere so it’s HHH vs. Taker. That works for me. Something is just looking awkward with these two tonight. It’s rather weird. Ah ok there are tags here. That’s where Austin is.

The announcers say Austin has bought into the team player idea so he’ll tag in. I’ll buy that I guess. Thesz Press gets a pop of course. That’s the problem with this and the problem with AJ as a heel: their offenses are designed to be faces and to get face pops. The character is heel, but the in ring stuff is face. That’s a big problem. Austin gets a chair shot in thanks to Stephanie distracting the referee. The kickout gets a REACTION.

I got tired of saying pop but that’s what it was. The tagging is a great help here as it makes this something close to believable. We hit a sleeper which goes on for way too long but I guess it’s ok. No idea why but it’s made me too sleepy to argue. This is mainly HHH vs. Taker of course. So now Austin hits a sleeper and Taker switches to a sleeper.

Boy that WWF is making sure to switch things up aren’t they? HHH goes to the top (WTF???) and does that really annoying spot where he jumps straight down and lands on Taker’s up foot. WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING??? Taker makes a comeback and HHH goes through the table via (armbar) chokeslam. Cole is LOSING IT over this. CHokeslam hits on Austin. Taker is busted open from something.

Might have been from the sleepiness from earlier. Here’s Vince for no apparent reason. He of course gets chokeslammed and HHH gets hits with that and a chair for the pin. No title change though. I think I like that ending actually. That blood looks really bad. Oh dang it’s on the side of his head. It being legit helps a lot.

Rating: B. Not bad at all here. They managed to make this something close to believable, which is more than I would have expected of them. While it’s kind of ridiculous to think Taker beat both of them at once, the way they did it kind of worked so I was buying into it. It’s your standard main event though so that’s fine. This was good stuff I thought and a fine way to close the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this a lot actually. It’s by far and away the best of these shows and while it’s far from perfect, it’s certainly a good show. The first 50 minutes or so are pretty weak but after that it takes off and it takes off very well. There’s nothing great here and nothing worth going out of your way to see, but this is a good show and worth being a PPV for a change. WWF was hot at this point and this is no exception. Good show and worth checking out if you for some reason run across it.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This was requested a few weeks back, though it’s an old version (over eight years) so the quality isn’t great.  I apologize in advance.

Insurrextion 2000
Date: May 6, 2000
Location: Earls Court, London, England
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to England as we haven’t been here in awhile. This is another of the English shows that is made to look like a PPV despite being a big house show. It’s about a week after Backlash where Rock won the title from HHH and the main event is Rock vs. HHH vs. Shane which I’m sure will be riveting. Other than that there isn’t much here at all. Let’s get to it so we can get it over with.

The opening video is painfully generic with HHH, Shane and Rock saying exactly what you would expect them to say. This was fairly pointless and doesn’t make me think much of the show tonight.

That pyro is loud!

Too Cool vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

The Radicalz are still new here having been around less than three and a half months to this point. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champions here which means absolutely nothing. Dean beat Scotty for the title so there’s your reasoning behind the match which is more than you would usually get here. I never got the appeal of Too Cool. They’re just not interesting to me in the slightest.

And what would a British show be without an air horn? Crowd is white hot too which is always a good sign. It’s weird seeing the old school barricades too. Saturn and Malenko are annoyed with each other apparently because Saturn hasn’t won a title yet. Saturn and Grandmaster get the mostly hot tags and the faces dominate.

I hate the Worm and any moves like it. If a bulldog keeps a guy down for like 10 seconds like that, why not cover them? If after ten seconds they can’t get out of the way of a chop, couldn’t they get pinned off a cover just after the bulldog? Anyway the top rope legdrop from Grandmaster to Saturn ends it. Saturn and Malenko fight afterwards.

Rating: D+. Eh not bad for an opener but at the same time this just didn’t have anything special about it at all. I’m not sure I get the logic of having the Radicalz lose either, but the match wasn’t that horrible. The fans were reacting well to it though so that’s a good sign I guess.

Mae gives Kat a pep talk.

And Vince is here! He says if HHH had gotten a fair match at Backlash he would have kept the title. Austin had run in during the match and hit HHH with a Stunner. Vince is awesome at what he does.

He has this confidence about himself and it works really well. Vince says Rock’s plan is that if he loses the title in England not a lot of people are going to know about it. You know, other than the people that watch Raw and see him without the belt. Vince says a relative of his will win the title. I’m not sure if there was a point to this or not.

Bull Buchanan vs. Kane

A month ago Buchanan and Boss Man broke Kane’s hand, hence the match. I love the organ music of Kane. It’s just sweet sounding. The pyro on the other hand will stop your heart. He has Bearer with him here too. We’re appearing to be in a squash match here as Kane completely dominates and then no sells a DDT. Yep Buchanan is dead in the water.

Buchanan hits his signature move where he runs up the corner and turns for a clothesline. Kane is of course up before Bull is. It’s ALL Kane here as even the stuff Bull hits has nothing as far as effect goes. A middle rope axe handle is caught in a chokeslam to end this in like 3 minutes.

Rating: C-. I like Kane so this was very fun. Buchanan was never really worth a thing so this kind of summed up his career: the best he’s got just got smacked right back in his face. This was one of the most one sided matches I’ve ever seen that didn’t involve a jobber, which is likely giving Buchanan too much credit but whatever. The rating is pure bias mind you.

Stephanie implies that Vince doesn’t like HHH which ticks him off.

Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg

Tori is freaking hot. She just is. And I always liked the King of Rock theme for DX. Also great to see these epic storylines getting closure on PPV like this. Farrooq does commentary here. The APA are total heels here and they go after Tori and the beatdown is on Road Dogg. Farrooq gets thrown out. Well you can’t say the first minute was boring.

Bradshaw works on the ribs a lot which makes sense. Not really but it felt right to say that. Ignore this and the previous sentence. This match is just boring. It feels like a house show match and that’s just not a good sign at all. Road Dogg has his ribs worked on for four minutes or so and then is just fine to get his two moves in where he dances. Why does that not surprise me?

The Clothesline isn’t quite a finisher yet but is a signature move at this point. And then a pumphandle slam ends it. Well that was riveting. I almost stopped watching that documentary on earwax.

Rating: F+. This was just bad. There’s no other way to put it. There was nothing of note here and Tori looking good was the only thing it had going for it whatsoever. It wasn’t interesting at all and there was no apparent reason for it happening. At least it’s over though.

Terri is ready.

The Kat vs. Terri

This is arm wrestling mind you. Kat has Mae Young and Terri has Moolah who are involved here for no explained reasons at all. Moolah’s legs are still nice looking actually. This feud went on forever and never wound up going anywhere but this is all about looks as neither of them could do a thing in the ring.

If you’ve seen any arm wrestling thin in wrestling ever, you know the next three minutes so I’ll be quiet for the most part. Terri and Mae both cheat and Kat wins. Terri pulls Kat’s top off and Kat is like screw it and shows them off. Naturally we don’t get to see a thing. Well it’s over at least. This was a waste of five minutes.

Rikishi is coming to the ring.

Crash is hiding.

Rock is JUST GETTING HERE.

Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Rikishi

It’s Showkishi here which is funny if nothing else. It’s not as good as Shogan but it’s still good. We get a clip of Trish being put through a table at Backlash for no apparent reason. D-Von and the thong wearing Show start us off. The Dudleys are still awesome here but what are you really expecting here?

Show was world champion four months ago and Rikishi was one of the most popular guys on the roster at this point. Lawler makes jokes and my head begins to hurt. They beat up Rikishi for a bit and we’re just killing time so far. I want to break whoever it is that has that stupid airhorn. What’s Up on Rikishi.

Show comes in and clears house and it’s a double Stinkface. Bubba gets a table and the place freaking POPS. I’m sorry for this review being so lackluster but this show is just not interesting at all. And here are Edge and Christian to beat up the Dudleys. A chokeslam on Bubba ends it.

Rating: D. Another boring match here. Nothing of note happened at all and it was a glorified comedy act. Rikishi was popular though and they loved the table appearing even though nothing actually happened with it. This was just a waste of time, but it sets up this.

Too Cool comes out and they trade glasses with the Dudleys. All six of them dance. Ok, I know I think it’s stupid, but the place freaking ERUPTED for this and with the amount of flashbulbs going off you would think it was Austin vs. Rock.

Bubba goes insane and moves faster than he’s ever moved in his career. This is fun so it did its job. Also this is on a European PPV so it’s not like many people are going to see it anyway, at least not by comparison.

We see Angle going around London seeing the sights. He’s the cocky guy that is happy go lucky here and is just freaking great.

Angle cost Benoit the IC Title and tonight it’s Angle vs. Benoit.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Angle gets one heck of a pop. He criticizes the English spoken in London and I’m loving this. Benoit gets nowhere near the reaction of Angle which is odd. His eye is about as swollen as Trish’s chest. And here’s Crash Holly. Ok then. He’s looking for an Englishman to fight and there’s no one willing to apparently. His voice is great actually. Do I need to tell you that this match is going to be good?

This is more about Crash than anything else though as we have almost no commentary about Benoit or Angle but it’s ALL about Crash. Is there a point to this at all? I could watch Angle suplex people all day. Once Crash finally shuts up we get back in time to see Benoit hit the Rolling Germans. He uses a bridge on the last one for two which is different for him. And then Crash takes things over again.

Angle grabs the referee’s hand and jabs Benoit’s eye with it. I’ll ignore how completely contrived that is but whatever. Benoit misses the headbutt and the Angle Slam ends it. This was MAYBE 6 minutes long. What was that?

Rating: C+. And that’s with the elevated ratings for these two. This was likely the worst of their matches I’ve ever seen as it felt like there was no motivation at all or anything like that. They were totally going through the motions out there and I have NO idea what the deal was with Crash out there. If there has ever been a WTF moment involving these two, this was it.

A blonde Michael Cole asks Shane who Vince was talking about and Shane says he meant Shane.

British Bulldog comes running to the ring with a referee (Teddy Long) for a Hardcore Title match vs. Crash. Ok then.

Hardcore Title: British Bulldog vs. Crash Holly

To say the crowd erupted is an understatement. Crash chokes him to insane booing. This is by far the biggest reaction that Crash has ever gotten. Bulldog is just destroying him here as you would expect. Crash has a kendo stick broken over his back. The Powerslam gets the title. This was REALLY short.

Rating: N/A. This was for the live crowd and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Bulldog would never be on PPV again and would lose the title back in less than a week. He would have one or two more televised matches ever I think.

Edge and Christian sign a fan an autograph and get 5 pounds from a kid for it. They take a picture for another fan but get in front of him so it’s just of them. That costs ten pounds.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Edge and Christian

The Canadians are champions here but does it really matter? Like Benoit vs. Angle, do I need to tell you that this is going to be good? Lawler calls Edge and Christian the beautiful people. JR says what’s next for Edge and Christian: shampoo commercials? Anyone that has watched Mania 18 knows why that’s funny.

How weird is it to think that this is 10 years ago and they’re one of the featured matches? Lawler seems to have a man crush on Edge and Christian. There’s nothing incredibly unique here but they know how to work well together and excite a crowd. That’s all you need to do sometimes and considering that this is a crowd that doesn’t often get live wrestling, even the most basic stuff they do is going to seem more impressive than usual.

Christian hits a nice powerslam on Jeff. Oh great now I’m typing to the beat that those airhorns are being blown at. Simple heel tactics really do work well. Edge kept Jeff from making the hot tag and got booed for it. Simple but effective. What more can you ask for? We follow that up with the classic referee missing the tag which is heavily booed. I love basics. Matt gets the tag which for some reason gets a very limited reaction.

And now it’s all breaking down. The double finisher hits Christian but Edge breaks it up with the bell for the DQ. Did you really expect anything else? The Dudleys come out and 3D Christian and put Edge through a table. Wait…they’re faces here??? What the heck?

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here, but they’ve had far more interesting and better matches before. They used a very basic formula here and it worked well. They beat the tar out Jeff and he sold it like a master. This was good for what it was supposed to be though, weak ending aside.

We recap Eddie vs. Jericho which is mainly over Chyna leaving Jericho for Eddie.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho

Eddie is European Champion here and Jericho is IC Champion. There’s a coin toss to determine which belt is on the line. Eddie doesn’t like Europe. Chyna speaks Spanish and I understand her. Jericho gets a big old pop. It’s weird to think that these two had been in the company less than a year combined.

He was completely gold on the mic at this point as you could see how much fun he was having just being out of WCW and being the midcard champion less than 8 months in. Eddie loses and the European Title is on the line. Jericho dominates early and Eddie tries to run but his woman won’t let him. That’s kind of amusing for some reason. I love the incredible cockiness of Jericho. It’s just an awesome character trait that makes him work.

Things like the posing pin and shouting ASK HIM to the referee. I love those kind of things and they’re so simple. Eddie takes over and snaps off a perfect hurricanrana. There’s a Gory Special that neither announcer recognizes as his father’s hold, so they call it a modified abdominal stretch.

Then he hooks an inverted one. Where is Mike Tenay or even Matt Striker when you need them? You can tell there’s a lot of improvising here and it’s working quite well. Well what did you expect from two of the best ever? Both guys go over the top and Eddie may have hurt his back. Chyna hits Jericho with a DDT for two. Jericho gets the double powerbomb which is just awesome. And there’s the belt shot to Jericho to end it.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here but then again what did you expect? Jericho had a fire in him at this point and it was very clear he was having a great time out there. Jericho would drop the belt to Benoit in two days so it’s not like this went on long anyway. This was a good match though and by far the best of the night. The ending was predictable but what else did you really expect?

Shane and HHH argue about who gets to win the title and over who Vince wanted to win. Stephanie says it doesn’t matter.

We recap this whole thing as Shane wouldn’t count the pin at Backlash when Rock had the title won. Linda and the fired Earl Hebner came in and counted the three anyway so that Rock could be champion.

Rock says he’ll overcome the odds.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Shane McMahon vs. HHH

Hmm I wonder what’s going to happen. Shane hides to start and I can’t blame him for it. It’s smart if nothing else. Rock destroys them both to start us off. He even puts the crown on the head of Shane and then punches him, freaking Lawler out. This show needs to end. In a funny bit, HHH does Shane’s foot shuffle and looks like he’s about to destroy every muscle in his legs.

Rock of course dances as well to make it a threesome. Oh dear. I love JR freaking out over so many little things and saying how much they’re cheating. There just isn’t much to say about this match as there is no drama at all, which is the universal problem that comes up in all of the European shows.

Nothing major ever happens at them and this is no exception. JR says HHH needs to calm down or he’ll get thrown out of the match and then saves himself by saying that would be the referee’s discretion. HHH hooks a long chinlock as we’re killing time like it’s a colony of ants at a picnic. JR: I would say Vince is here for moral support but that would be inaccurate. Yeah I know. That’s why you just said it. Little mistakes like that crack me up.

The other two finally fight it out as we go into the old and traditional formula for these matches. Why mess with what works? Stephanie distracts the referee so Rock’s pin isn’t seen off a DDT to Shane. The referee proves to be a complete idiot by seeing Rock try to counter Shane’s Pedigree, seeing Rock counter Shane’s Pedigree, seeing Rock setting for a slingshot, seeing the slingshot being executed, and STILL managing to get crushed by it. You fail at like Chioda. You just do.

HHH pops Rock with the belt and there’s no referee. Gerald Brisco comes out as the second referee but only gets two. I think that’s what happened at least. The insurmountable odds are piling up way too high. Shane pops HHH with a chair by accident and that brings in Vince.

Rock kicks out of a Pedigree and down goes Brisco. There’s the second Pedigree. ROCK IS DONE RIGHT? It’s EARL HEBNER for the save. Let’s see that’s I believe four interferences and two weapons so far. This is perfectly reasonable right? Vince takes the Rock Bottom and Shane takes the spinebuster and elbow for the pin.

Rating: B-. Fun but WAY overbooked. This just got insane towards the end and it was nearly impossible to keep track of what was going on. I get that there has to be some interference or whatever, but DANG man do you think you did enough? Brisco could have been left out and it would have helped a lot. It was entertaining though and that’s really all that mattered. Decent enough though, but a less cluttered match would have helped a lot.

Overall Rating: D+. There have been worse European shows but this wasn’t very good at all. The main event is fun and Eddie vs. Jericho is good, but other than that there’s nothing here that hasn’t been done 1000x better on more important shows. That’s what these always come down to: it’s been done and it’s been done better. This isn’t terrible though, but there’s nothing here worth sitting down and watching.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

The year is 1999, and for some reason, the millennium came early.

I’m sure everyone remembers or has checked out the WWE network to see one of the great debuts in WWE history. Instead of the countdown clock existing to usher in a new year, it ushered in a new superstar in Chris Jericho.

In August.

Shortly after Jericho’s debut, a strange symbol started appearing on the Titantron. For weeks, we saw only this symbol, wondering what it meant. At the Royal Rumble, we found out that it meant Red Hook was invading the WWF in the form of Tazz.

Had those two guys been around today, things would be a bit different. They’d both be young, hungry, and coming from smaller wrestling organizations than WWE. Thus, a year in NXT would likely be in the cards and if the NXT crowd takes to them, the internet would be abuzz with their impending debuts the week after Wrestlemania.

Ho. Hum.

While I do see the value in the system that has been created today, I struggle to see how the overly formulaic strategy is, in the words of the family that runs the place, “best for business”. After all, didn’t spontaneity allow that same family to become THE family in wrestling?

It did, but that isn’t an excuse to rely on a calendar to do all your work for you. Instead of feuds dictating gimmick matches, the calendar does. And while many have addressed that, few have addressed the backlash to reserving debuts solely for Wrestlemania week.

Just this year, we were treated to one of the best TakeOver events ever. For me though, the thing that holds it back is what holds back every Takeover on Wrestlemania weekend, the predictability. When 60% of your matches feature individuals and teams that are near certainties to get the call up, you know they aren’t winning their matches. And the bigger problem, is what happens afterwords.

I remember hearing a while back that due to some of the main roster flops of his “babies”, Triple H wanted all NXT talent set to debut to have 6 months of storylines ready to go. This was so that each debuting talent would have a real opportunity to succeed on the main roster. Fast forward to today, and outside of The Iconics, who else debuted with a story?

The answer is nobody, and worse, people who were somebodies in NXT are coming to the main roster were little fanfare. A lot of smarter fans (many of whom likely read this site) said things like this before Wrestlemania weekend:

“I’m picking Baszler because Ember will probably go to the main roster after Mania.”

“I got Black because Almas and Vega should be headed up north” (because it’s still the 80’s and the main roster is considered “New York”……)

When you know someone is leaving, it negatively effects what you’re watching (see Lesnar, Brock vs Goldberg, Bill 2004), and why this has become the status quo, I can only venture a guess, laziness.

Yes, the ever-present trope of rematch clauses, trilogies, and now set debut times are conveniently easy for the writers. And because us fans have fed into it, and we look forward to the post-Mania debuts, we let it happen. I admit, even I’m guilty of getting hyped for the returns and debuts the night after Mania. Of course, it’s kind of like getting the date with the hot, lame cheerleader. The idea of it happening is far better than when it actually happens.

The sad thing is, WWE is capable of debuting these talents with fanfare and importance. Samoa Joe burst onto the scene as HHH’s muscle and he has been treated as a main eventer ever since. Kevin Owens debuted against John Cena and has never faltered. Both took place organically within an existing storyline, so their debuts were treated as an important continuation, not just a “hey look, they’re here!” scenario.

The point is, while I’m not totally against the post-Mania debuts, I certainly think we can do better. The calendar should not be dictating what happens in wrestling, the stories should. When wrestling is at its best, things just fit. We’ve seen it before. I don’t want writer laziness to take away from us ever seeing it again.

 

 

Eric Cordova is the host of the Mouth of the South Shore Radio Show. The show airs live on Wednesday nights at 9pm at i95sportsnetwork.com and TuneInRadio (i95). Follow the show at the Mouth of the South Shore Radio Show page on Facebook and @motssradio on Twitter and Instagram.