King of the Ring 2002 (2016 Redo): It’s Not Like It Matters

King of the Ring 2002
Date: June 23, 2002
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 14,198
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t been looking forward to this one and I have a feeling that’s going to be proven right. The triple main event is Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle, HHH vs. Undertaker for the World Title and the tournament final, none of which would be interesting in the first place but here they’re getting a ton of focus. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of some great King of the Ring winners with 1995 obviously being omitted. Does anyone want to see Savio Vega anyway? The regular opening video talks about the tournament and the two regular matches, as you would expect.

The awesome huge metal chair is back but unfortunately Kurt Angle and Shane McMahon won’t be beating the heck out of each other around its legs this year.

King of the Ring Semifinals: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho works on the arm to start as they’re going pretty slowly here, suggesting there’s going to be a lot of time for this one. That’s not a bad thing either as I’d rather two talented guys get time than two people who are going to kill the crowd right off the bat. Both guys try dropkicks so we have a standoff, meaning it’s time for Van Dam’s signature post.

A quick kick to the face sends Jericho outside, setting up the required flip dive. Back in and the referee is sent into the ropes to crotch Rob on top, setting up a butterfly superplex for two. Jericho unhooks a turnbuckle pad because that was only done in Thursday’s main event so it’s more than long enough. The running crotch attack only hits the ropes but Jericho kicks him down and starts cranking on the arms.

Back up and a springboard kick to the face gives Rob two, followed by the cartwheel moonsault for the same. Jericho shrugs off a few more kicks and sends Rob into the exposed buckle for two. The Lionsault gets the same and the Walls send Van Dam bailing for the ropes. They head up top so Jericho can get shoved off and very obviously crawl to the middle of the ring so the Five Star can put him away.

Rating: C+. Just a match really, which isn’t the best thing in the world. There wasn’t much heat here and the near falls didn’t get either guy anywhere. Jericho has just been crippled since the title reign ended and he’s in a big need of some freshening up. Van Dam going forward to face Lesnar was obvious but I was expecting a lot more here.

Lawler goes in to talk to Van Dam but Jericho chairs Rob down and puts him in the Walls.

Heyman fires Brock up.

King of the Ring Semifinals: Test vs. Brock Lesnar

Why they’re even bothering with this is beyond me. Brock sends him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs as the GOLDBERG chants start up. A hard clothesline puts Brock down and Test hammers away in the corner, actually to some avail. More shoulders to the ribs have Lesnar right back in control and he throws Test around with ease.

A belly to back suplex gives Brock two, followed by a powerslam for another delayed two. The side slam and full nelson slam get two on Brock, followed by the pumphandle slam for the nearest fall in Lesnar’s career to date. The big boot makes it even worse and the fans actually buy into the two count this time. Test loads it up again….right in front of Heyman. I think you can figure out the next step and how it sets up Brock’s F5 to advance to the finals.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse as Brock needed to survive a slugout. I know Test wasn’t the best choice here and it would have made more sense to have him go over someone like Bubba here (which wouldn’t have been possible due to the Raw vs. Smackdown rules) but Test actually lived above his head here.

Bubba Ray Dudley says he’ll bounce back but picks…..well no one in the finals actually.

Lance Storm and Christian would rather rant about people being anti-Canadian instead of picking a winner.

Cruiserweight Title: Hurricane vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging after his girlfriend stole Hurricane’s gear for reasons that aren’t quite clear, mainly because they’ve blazed through this story. Helms takes it straight to the mat to start but can’t get anywhere. Instead he goes with the opposite by superkicking the heck out of Noble.

Speaking of Nidia, she completely misses while trying to trip Hurricane, who doesn’t sell the thing, thank goodness. The distraction lets Noble get in a shot from behind to take over though and things slow down again. An electric chair gets two for Jamie and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s switched into a sleeper for a few moments before Hurricane comes right back with a neckbreaker and jumping clothesline.

The Overcast gets the same and frustration is setting in. With nothing else working, Hurricane grabs the cape and throws Jamie outside for a high crossbody, sans cape of course. Jamie gets right back up and takes Hurricane to the top but the champ grabs a super swinging neckbreaker of all things for a huge crash. Nidia climbs onto and is promptly knocked off the apron, setting up a chokeslam for two on Noble. Hurricane gets crotched on top though and a powerbomb gives Jamie the title with Nidia shoving Hurricane’s foot off the ropes.

Rating: C. Well that happened. The ending really sucked the life out of this one as it was really picking up until then. Nidia continues to be completely useless but she won some reality show and therefore has to be around. Noble isn’t a great heel but he’s a great character and I have no issue with him winning the title. The division has the potential to go somewhere at the moment but there’s a lot of work to be done.

The replay shows that even though Nidia moved the foot off the ropes, Hurricane’s hand was under the ropes. She really can’t do anything right.

Eddie Guerrero isn’t worried about ticking Ric Flair off because he needs to say hi to his family, name by name. This of course includes Little Timmy, the foster kid they picked up off the street, leaving Terri stunned. Or maybe that’s just how she looks in general.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

Feeling out process to start with Eddie showing Flair up a bit in the athleticism department until a big chop sends him outside. A low blow has Eddie in trouble but, as always, it’s cool when Flair cheats as a face. Back in and Eddie stomps away in the corner before starting in on the knee. Flair’s leg is wrapped around the post and then the ropes, meaning we get some very un-PG language from Ric.

Of course we hit the Figure Four because all Flair matches must see him put in the Figure Four. Flair eventually (and I mean very eventually) gets out so Eddie grabs a chinlock. JR isn’t sure on the strategy as it would make sense to stay on the legs but maybe he doesn’t understand lucha. A suplex sets up the frog splash but Flair rolls away before Eddie even dives.

Guerrero does the splash anyway and the crash means it’s time to start in on Eddie’s legs. This brings out Chris Benoit as the Figure Four goes on. That’s broken as well and they can’t seem to do the bridge into a backslide spot. Eddie can however hit a tornado DDT for two and Benoit pulls Ric to the floor for the Crossface. The referee quickly ejects the Canadian (Maybe Storm and Christian are onto something) and it’s Bubba Ray running in with a Bubba Bomb to give Flair the cheap pin.

Rating: C. This was much more long than good and that’s not really a positive sign. The ending was more confusing than anything else, unless it’s ANOTHER wrestler signing up to pay tribute to Flair. It didn’t help that the fans didn’t seem to care and the wrestling wasn’t exactly inspired stuff. Still though, not the worst and I’d rather this get the extra time than something else.

William Regal and Chris Nowinski are annoyed at the service at the World. That’s your transition to the Women’s Title match.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is challenging after Trish, the face in this feud, laughed at her for being allegedly fat. Trish is annoyed at Molly for using Trish’s own underwear to choke her, which is apparently the real injustice in this feud. The champ gets taken down into an armbar as Lawler wants to know what color thong JR might wear. Trish gets two off a neckbreaker and a modified victory roll gets the same. They’re setting a really fast pace here and it’s working so far.

A trip to the floor sees Trish sent into the crowd before coming back in with the Stratusphere. They slug it out and Trish hits the Chick Kick but gets German suplexed for two. Molly misses the Molly Go Round and JR thinks she might have broken the ring. I’ll let that one go as Molly grabs a rollup and the tights for the pin and the title. Lawler: “It was survival of the fattest!”

Rating: B-. Several points for the action here and several dozen more taken away for the angle and commentary. Remember when Michelle McCool and Mickie James did a similar story and it was called bad taste even though McCool was the heel? Well here it’s Trish being treated as the face for the exact same thing. I still can’t believe I’m watching this but hopefully this wraps it up.

Angle wants to know why he and Hogan are both considered American heroes. After all, Hogan is only considered a hero because Vince wanted him to be. “If Mr. McMahon wanted Hogan to be a zookeeper, Hogan would be a zookeeper!”

We recap Hogan vs. Angle, which is over Vince wanting to screw with Hogan for wanting to retire. Angle seems to be Vince’s first goon to go after Hogan, which doesn’t really make sense. If Vince wants to keep Hogan around, why is he sending someone out there who could hurt him? Wouldn’t it make more sense, and embarrass Hogan more, to have him at the bottom of the card?

Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan

They fight over headlocks and top wristlocks to start until Angle is powered out to the floor. So far they’ve just had Angle run around and bounce off Hogan, which is pretty easily their best possible outcome. Back in and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle nine times before a low blow puts Hulk down.

Kurt gets two off a belly to back suplex because Hogan would probably break after one German suplex, let alone the rolling version. A sleeper into a chinlock has Hogan down as the announcers debate which of these two have more fans in Iraq. The Angle Slam gets two but Hogan comes back with the big boot. There’s no legdrop though as Hogan goes for the wig. Naturally he puts it on and Angle’s chair shot hits himself in the head. The legdrop is countered into the legdrop though and Hogan starts rolling…..but he actually taps out a few feet from the ropes.

Rating: D. You could tell Angle was working WAY more slowly than usual here but the ending was the right call. There comes a point where there’s no way to accept Hogan being able to hang with someone at Angle’s level and Hulk tapping out because he just couldn’t keep up was the right move. Now if Hogan drops way down the card and leaves the main event picture alone, everything will be fine.

Goldust is dressed up as Rock, much to Booker’s dismay. We actually get a heck of an impression until the real thing pops up behind Goldust, who immediately begs off. Rock shows him the proper way to do FINALLY so Goldust starts rubbing his chest. Booker says don’t worry about Goldust because Rock is jumping in the wrong face. Goldust: “What about me?”

He tries a few catchphrases of his own before backing away because it’s not his style. Booker liked the speech so Goldust does the chest rub again, messing with Rock even more. Rock is here to watch the main event because the title is bigger than the People’s Elbow, the Spinarooni and, to Goldust, “What do you do? You got a finishing move?” Goldust talks about the ammunition in his cannon to finally send Rock over the edge. Rock: “STOP RUBBING YOURSELF MAN!” Everyone uses a catchphrase though Booker cuts Goldust off again. Funny stuff here, as you would expect.

King of the Ring: Brock Lesnar vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title again of course. Rob hits and runs to start, including a few kicks to the legs. Brock takes as much as he’s going to though and crushes Van Dam with a powerslam. Some backbreakers set up the bearhug until some more kicks get Rob out of trouble. Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s the Five Star, only to have Heyman snap Rob’s throat across the ropes…..sending Rob onto Lesnar for two in a great false finish. The F5 makes Brock King a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash, even though Rob got in most of his signature stuff. The win wasn’t clean as Rob couldn’t get a good cover and took a little extra time due to the Heyman interference so it’s not as bad of a loss as it could be. Lesnar isn’t ready for the main event but they have to put someone new in that spot, especially with Austin gone.

HHH runs into Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels, who offer their help tonight if needed.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with HHH challenging after beating Hogan and….that’s it actually. There’s really no reason to care about him and there’s not much to their feud other than Undertaker has the title and they’ve punched each other a lot.

Heyman jumps in on commentary to say the winner of this is keeping the title warm for Lesnar until Summerslam.

WWE World Title: Undertaker vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and comes out second for no apparent reason. They slug it out to start (get used to that kind of exchange) with neither really getting an advantage. HHH mixes it up with a choke before the fight heads outside for more punching. The slow punching continues until Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner. A modified Snake Eyes gets Undertaker out of trouble and he drops an elbow for two.

Somehow we’re five minutes into this already and they’re both looking tired. Even more punching, this time on the floor, goes to Undertaker and a legdrop gets two. HHH breaks up a superplex and scores with a backdrop as Heyman goes on about Lesnar beating Rock up backstage. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off (third time in two shows) but Undertaker is sent into it back first, setting up a neckbreaker for no cover. The jumping knee gets two more….and the ref gets bumped.

Cue the Rock to take Heyman’s place on commentary as Undertaker grabs a chair. HHH knocks it away and sends Undertaker outside where he kicks Rock in the face. Rock hits HHH in the head with the chair by mistake and we’ve got some blood. After sending Rock into the post, Undertaker gets a delayed two off a Last Ride and this crowd is just gone.

The new ref gets bumped and it’s a Rock Bottom for Undertaker. Rock just leaves and HHH gets the slowest cover in years for another two. The Pedigree connects but since this is a main event match, Earl Hebner is STILL DOWN after nearly ten minutes. HHH goes to wake him up but it’s a low blow into a rollup with trunks and ANOTHER ridiculously slow count retains the title.

Rating: F. You’ll often hear people joke about how they think they’re watching something in slow motion but that actually happened to me here. The ref was down for so long and the falls too so long that I really did forget that the show was still going at regular speed. This was nearly twenty five minutes of punching and finishers, which is far from enough to carry a main event. Just terribly boring here but that’s what you have to expect from the main event scene around this time.

Post match Undertaker talks trash to Rock and gets Rock Bottomed, setting up a Pedigree to Rock to end. Undertaker chokeslams HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The following criticisms apply to all of the matches except for the women, who worked hard despite having a horrible story and almost no time to work with. Their match doesn’t line up with the rest of the show, which was one of the most lifeless cards I’ve ever seen. The matches were far from the worst I’ve ever seen but there was no energy almost all night.

This was a show with WAY too much talent on it to be this dull but that’s exactly what happened. It felt like no one was interested in trying because they could just do their matches and then go on to the week’s TV. I had almost no interest in anything on here and the whole thing seemed to be something they had to get through before either next month’s pay per view or Summerslam. I expected better here and it’s more disappointing than bad.

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Survivor Series 2016 Preview

For only the second time in history, WWE has a pay per view series reach thirty entries as we arrive at Survivor Series 2016. In what is the most important thing a Survivor Series can do, there’s actually something on the line here, albeit just bragging rights, as Smackdown faces off with Raw in a series of three elimination tag matches. It’s only a six match card (for now) so it should be interesting to see what they’re doing with the show. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the ladies in the first Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown match. This looks almost completely one sided on paper as Smackdown has Becky Lynch and Nikki Bella, who are nowhere near enough to counter the combined forces of Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Bayley and Nia Jax. However, never underestimate the power of WWE pushing Bella to the moon and back, meaning she has a good chance of overcoming the odds. She’s fearless you know.

That being said, I really can’t imagine Raw has much to worry about here. No matter how you look at it, there’s just too much talent on the red show, even if they have all their in fighting. This should be a glorified layup as Carmella and Alexa Bliss are such liabilities for the Smackdown team that there’s almost no way around their limitations. I’ll go with Raw winning here in what shouldn’t be much of a challenge for them.

On a side note since I don’t have much material to talk about here with such a short card, is anyone else completely uninterested in seeing Bella vs. Charlotte treated as a huge showdown? We saw it last year and it was nothing special but now that Charlotte has become possibly the most successful women’s wrestler ever and Bella was on the shelf for months, we’re supposed to care? That doesn’t make sense, though again, never underestimate the powers of a reality “star” in WWE.

Next up we have a title match as Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick defends against Smackdown’s Kalisto. This is a little bigger than your usual title match though as the winning brand gets the entire cruiserweight division. There isn’t much to the feud as Kalisto was just named #1 contender a few weeks back on Smackdown.

I’m really hoping logic takes control here because there’s not much of a reason to keep the title and the division as a whole over on Raw. Tuesday night has a little more open space and is better suited for an action based division than Raw, which is almost entirely storyline driven. Couple that with the upcoming 205 Live, which is being taped after Smackdown instead of Raw and there’s really no reason for Kendrick to walk out with the title. If nothing else, maybe Kalisto can breathe some life into the title instead of being another mat based cruiserweight.

We’ll go back to the elimination tags as we have the tag team version, featuring a staggering twenty wrestlers in one match. This kind of match hasn’t been done at this level since 1988 and the previous incarnations were borderline classics and among the best Survivor Series matches of all time. I’m not sure the talent is there to pull that off this time but at least there’s a great chance for some exciting action.

Picking an accurate winner here is a lot more complicated though as neither team really stands out. Raw probably has the better lineup from top to bottom but Smackdown has American Alpha and better continuity. Unfortunately Raw has to deal with the Shining Stars and the issues between Cesaro and Sheamus. On the other hand, Heath Slater and Rhyno are playing WAY over their heads at the moment and I don’t think they’re going to be able to make that last against the Raw teams.

In a pick I’m not entirely confident in, I’m going to pick Smackdown to win here, if nothing else so there can be something on the line in the third match. Neither team looks great but I could certainly go for Cesaro/Sheamus vs. American Alpha with the technique vs. clubbing power formula. This should be a lot of fun if they do it right though and that’s what matters in a match like this.

We’ll go back to the title matches now with Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Smackdown’s Sami Zayn in another match where the title can switch brands. Miz won the belt back from Dolph Ziggler earlier this week and Ziggler not being on the card seems like a red flag.

At the end of the day though, I can’t imagine Raw losing two titles and not having a midcard title to fall back on whatsoever. As much as I’d love to see Sami get a title, this doesn’t really seem like the time to pull the trigger. Miz is a great Intercontinental Champion and can pick right back up where he left off after that pesky Ziggler run.

That leaves us with one Survivor Series match to go and this one is the biggest tossup of them all. I really don’t know which one to pick as you would think Smackdown would be at a disadvantage with Shane McMahon on the team but he went thirty minutes with the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. The rest of the lineups pretty much cancel each other out though and that’s rather influential in a match like this.

I’ll go with Smackdown as WWE has a long history of putting the blue show over when the two of them go head to head. There’s nothing on the line here so it’s not like this is going to mean much either way, but the bragging rights are always worth a chuckle at worst. If nothing else we don’t have to listen to Matt Striker shouting “IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE!” when someone wins.

That leaves us with the main event, which is only somewhat interesting but is the focal point of the show. Twelve and a half years ago, Goldberg and Brock Lesnar had one of the worst major matches in wrestling history and for some reason we’re supposed to forget all that and just enjoy them fighting again. It’s also Goldberg’s first match since that night and I’m not sure how bad this could really get.

Obviously I’ll go with Lesnar, but neither guy is really a good option here. You don’t have Lesnar set up as this unstoppable monster and then have him lose but at the same time, Lesnar beating Goldberg means as much as Hulk Hogan beating the Ultimate Warrior in 1998. Lesnar wins here after Goldberg doesn’t do much besides throw spears. At least there should be some energy here and Goldberg will have a better chance than Dean Ambrose had.

Overall, Survivor Series has a lot of potential but it could be good or bad. If they let these matches have a lot of time (which they should given the four hour run time) and only add one more at most, they could have the time to build into something entertaining. Unfortunately they could also build into a disaster with the fans getting bored and matches that aren’t the most interesting. I’ve been excited for this since it was announced though and I’m going to try to keep that optimism.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – June 20, 2002: Rock Bottom

Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2002
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before King of the Ring 2002 and we’re officially in the Kurt Angle is Bald era. As big of a change as it was, that would wind up being his signature look for years to come and still is to this day. Tonight we wrap up the first round of the tournament to get us down to the final four so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock’s speech from Monday. You know, the one where he talks about people needing to stick around as he comes back from another movie hiatus.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle with the wig to get things going. He knows people have been laughing at him but this is serious. The reality is…..he’s bald and he’s been wearing a wig. He’s tried everything from Rogaine to hair tonic to fertilizer but nothing has worked. We look back at the wig being ripped off last week and Angle is distraught. Hogan is the real joke around here because he looks like he’s 100 years old and wears red and yellow boas. Angle is very confused by the hand to the ear thing and promises to make Hogan tap on Sunday.

Cue Hogan to say he’ll beat Angle up and threatens the wig. The fight is on with Hogan getting the better of it until Angle bails. I really don’t get the point of keeping the wig on when we’ve already seen the bald head and Angle acknowledges that he’s bald. Just go Olympic on Hogan and put us out of our misery.

Stacy Keibler is checking out her gear for Divas Undressed when Dawn Marie comes up for the usual “Vince wants to sleep with ME” argument. Torrie Wilson comes up and shows off her underwear to annoy them even more. You know what? I kind of prefer them doing it this way instead of pretending it’s anything else. It’s an excuse to have the women in their underwear so just say that’s what they’re going for.

Rikishi vs. Christian

Christian charges into a backdrop to start but gets the big man in trouble with some right hands to the head. So much for racial stereotypes in wrestling. The Unprettier doesn’t work and a pop up cutter (looked more like a flapjack because Rikishi can never get that right) puts Christian away.

Christian’s foot was on the rope during the pin so Lance Storm comes out to complain. The complaining continues post break with Storm saying it’s because Christian is Canadian. As is so often the case, this goes on too long with Storm ranting about how all Americans are prejudiced and all other countries hate America because they’re so smug.

HHH says he’s getting the title back in three days. Gay jokes are made at Billy Gunn’s expense in preparation for their match later tonight. If there’s a reason to care about HHH as a face, it’s going WAY over my head.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are all fired up for Jamie to become Crusierweight Champion on Sunday. Hurricane’s mask is between Nidia’s legs because that’s amusing or something.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Winner gets the title shot on Sunday. I’ll give them a point for having Jamie need a win to become #1 contender instead of just having a newcomer the title shot. A hiptoss sends Kidman outside and Jamie starts in on his arm. Kidman gets in a loud enziguri for a breather but Nidia crotches him on top, setting up an elevated DDT to send Jamie to King of the Ring. I’m already thinking I was wrong on Jamie having to win a match. Was this really necessary if they can’t even have three minutes?

Post match Jamie puts on the mask and cape, drawing out Hurricane for a chokeslam. Hurricane gets the mask back a week after losing it, which is already better than TJ Perkins being asked to lay down so Brian Kendrick can win the title.

Billy vs. HHH

HHH does his full posing so Billy tries a cheap shot. That’s enough selling though so HHH clotheslines him outside and whips Billy into the steps. Back in and a powerslam gives Billy two but instructions to SUCK IT are just too far for HHH, who grabs a neckbreaker. Chuck offers a distraction and Rico gets in a spinning kick to the face….which is followed by a Pedigree to end Billy without much effort.

Rating: D. Just in case the Rikishi/Rico title reign wasn’t enough to crush the titles all over again, this was another great example of how bad the Tag Team Titles are doing at the moment. HHH might as well have been fighting any given jobber here as he shrugged off a triple team attack and won in less than five minutes. What a great use of champions, especially when the titles on Raw are already so worthless.

Kurt comes in and is quickly dispatched, followed by Undertaker coming in to get HHH in trouble. Angle hits Undertaker with a chair by mistake though, which is finally enough to end this segment.

Vince and Stacy talk about the pay per view when Undertaker storms in and demands a match with Angle tonight.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Chris Jericho vs. Big Valbowski

Venis gets jumped to start but comes back with some jobber offense. That just earns him a sleeper drop for two but Jericho’s dropkick is countered into a catapult into the corner. A spinebuster gets a cold two and the referee gets bumped because Val Venis vs. Chris Jericho needs a ref bump. Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets no count but the Blue Thunder Bomb gets a close two. The Walls send Jericho on to King of the Ring a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was better but the same problem that held back the previous match back was present here: there was almost no doubt as to who was winning. Was anyone going to buy Venis as a real threat to take out Jericho? At least they had a few more minutes to work with here and the match was able to go somewhere as a result.

Here’s Rock whole speech from Monday.

Test and Hardcore Holly trash talk.

Vince and Stacy talk Angle into fight Undertaker by having him pretend Undertaker is Hogan.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Test vs. Hardcore Holly

And they wonder why the crowd isn’t interested. A powerslam gives Holly an early near fall but he gets whipped hard into the corner. The full nelson slam is countered into a sloppy rollup for two on Test but a pumphandle slam gets the same on Holly. Back up and the big boot gives Test a shot at Lesnar on Sunday.

Rating: D. This is a good example of why this era is pretty forgotten. Was Test vs. Holly the best they could come up with? If you have to push Test through to the next round (fine enough as another Lesnar victim), wasn’t there ANYONE other that Holly to put him over? The problem: I’m really not sure there is someone else at the moment, which is why they really need to build the roster up in a hurry.

Test says he’ll win because the next big thing is getting the next big boot.

Here are the final four:

Rob Van Dam

Chris Jericho

Test

Brock Lesnar

Vince has Fit Finlay and Johnny Ace get Undertaker and Angle to try to calm things down. Stacy is sent to the hotel, but not before Vince kisses her awkwardly.

Jericho is ready for Rob Van Dam.

We run down Sunday’s card and my goodness this looks horrible.

Vince tells Undertaker and Angle to have a good, clean competition. He demands a handshake but Undertaker doesn’t want to shake the hand of someone who threatened to break his ankle. That’s a fair point actually. A brawl breaks out and Vince gets crushed, putting him on Undertaker’s side.

Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and Angle grabs a chair before Undertaker comes to the ring. The chair goes nowhere so an early ankle lock sends Undertaker crawling to the ropes. Angle unhooks a turnbuckle pad but of course it’s not that simple. The straps are already down because they don’t have time to do the full formula. A clothesline breaks up the Angle Slam and Kurt is sent back first into the exposed buckle.

Kurt goes face first into the post but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock. The hold stays on for over a full minute until Undertaker FINALLY rolls forward for the break. The ankle is fine enough for a chokeslam but here’s HHH for a distraction so Angle can grab a rollup for the pin. Here’s the bigger problem than the minute long ankle lock: the pop that Test got for pinning Holly was far bigger than the one Angle just got for pinning the World Champion.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen two of the best of all time have such a worthless match. That ankle lock was horrible and the ending made things even worse. How does this make me want to see either of the two big matches at the pay per view? Undertaker gets pinned and Angle’s finisher can’t beat anyone despite staying on for over a minute. That’s their marketing plan? Really?

Post match HHH beats up Undertaker but here’s Hogan to put Angle in an ankle lock. I’ve never seen him work a decent armbar but he’s making Angle tap to an ankle lock. Undertaker gives Hogan a chokeslam, only to walk into a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show is in need of a BIG refresh because it’s getting worse and worse. There’s almost no good wrestling as they have to fly through everything, though I can’t figure out what they spent the extra time on. Maybe all the Undertaker and Angle backstage segments or the vignettes hyping up a lingerie show? Either way, this show is downright horrible lately and King of the Ring is looking like a potential disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Superstars – November 18, 2016: The Fourth Part is Always Bad

Superstars
Date: November 18, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

It’s another week of Superstars and unfortunately that means another week of highlights from a Raw that wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. Main Event has completely pulled away from Superstars for its original content so hopefully things can get a bit closer to even this week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Titus O’Neil vs. Curtis Axel

And so much for that idea. At least we don’t have to put up with that Titus Brand stuff on Raw anymore. Curtis takes him into the corner and dances away before the referee annoyingly tries to break up a brawl, allowing Titus to score with a big boot. We hit the horrible chinlock with Titus talking trash and trying to start an AXELMANIA chant. Axel makes his comeback with the necksnap and a running knee to the face for two. Not that it matters as Titus sends him chest first into the buckle, setting up the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D. That might become my standard rating for all Titus matches. He can talk a decent amount of trash but at some point you have to be able to do more than throw people through the air and do a Sky High. Also, so much for believing in Curtis Axel, who might have been building up towards a small push but now he’s jobbing to Titus. Oh joy indeed.

Off to Raw for the first time.

It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.

The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.

And then the second.

New Day vs. Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman/Chris Jericho

Jericho and Kofi start things off and that’s not a bad thing. An elbow to the jaw puts Kofi on the mat and it’s quickly off to Woods vs. Rollins with the latter coming in off a chop to the chest. That goes nowhere either as they hit the mat for Seth’s headlock before it’s back to Jericho as New Day takes over. The Warrior splash gets two and Kofi comes back in, only to get slammed by Braun as we take a break.

Back with Braun holding Kofi in a nerve hold before handing it back to Rollins. Some double knees put Seth down but it’s Strowman running cross the ring to kick Big E. in the face. We wind up with Woods kicking Jericho in the back and Strowman plowing through the other two opponents. Woods finally kicks him in the face and forearms Rollins in the jaw. That’s enough for Braun though as it’s a powerslam to end Xavier at 14:06.

Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end as Woods continues to be great at the last chance offense. Strowman is getting better at being a rampaging monster but he’s still in need of some more experience. I liked the match well enough though and New Day will be fine with a loss like this. That being said, it’s getting harder and harder to care about these one off matches between people with no animosity.

Jinder Mahal vs. Darren Young

Four times. I’ve done this show eight times now and this has been on the card on four occasions. Mahal hides in the corner to start (I’d hide from this match too) until a shoulder block and a jumping seated senton get two. A big boot puts Young on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Mahal choking in the corner and shouting that peace catchphrase that no one has ever caught nor used as a phrase. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Mahal yells at Bob Backlund before putting on another chinlock. See, it’s the yelling that makes it more impressive. Young fights up with some belly to belly suplexes and that belly to back on the apron. Back up and Mahal sends him throat first into the rope, setting up a Regal Cutter for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: D. They’re trolling me. Like, they have to be at this point. Either that or they really do pay absolutely no attention to this show and Mahal and Young just go out there because no one notices what they do every week. Unfortunately that means we have to put up with these two fighting almost every other week despite the fact that neither is interesting. Boring match here and it’s probably a matter of time before they fight again.

A two minute highlight package of the Survivor Series Summit wraps the show up.

Overall Rating: D+. This week, Main Event gave us a good Luke Harper vs. Apollo Crews match and a perfectly watchable Vaudevillains vs. Breezango match. This show gave us the fourth incarnation of a match that hasn’t been interesting yet and another bad Titus O’Neil match. It’s really amazing that Superstars is treated as a wasteland and Main Event is a show with a little effort put in. Another just barely passable show this week and that’s sad given what can be done with something like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Main Event – November 15, 2016: Setting The Early Bar

Main Event
Date: November 15, 2016
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga

I can get through this. I can get through this. Ok so maybe I can’t but repeating the same thing over and over again without changing it up was fine for Raw this week so maybe it can work on this show too. It’s hard to say what you’re going to get here but I could go for more of this tag team focus. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Breezango vs. Vaudevillains

This fashion police idea is starting to grow on me but I’m a Breezango fan in the first place. The Vaudevillains’ entrance is toned down a bit with no barker. English is sent into the corner to start but poses on the corner for a bow instead. Fandango isn’t cool with that though and clotheslines him down before starting in on the knee.

It’s off to Gotch but English gets in a cheap shot to take over. I’m not sure if I should be happy with that or not as this is a rare all heel match. English says THEY should be on Team Smackdown as he drops Breeze face first on the apron for two. An enziguri gets Breeze out of trouble and it’s the hot tag to bring Fandango in so house can be cleaned. Breeze Supermodel Kicks English into a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Am I really supposed to boo Breezango? I know they’re heels but they were playing some pretty sweet faces here and with something as simple as the fashion police gimmick, maybe they could actually go somewhere for a change. I had a good little time with this and it was cool to see Breeze looking solid again.

We look at two of the three big Survivor Series matches before going to our first Raw selection.

Roman Reigns/Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Naturally Reigns and Owens have to do entrances again after being on the stage before the break. Cesaro and Reigns get things going and Owens is looking bored on the apron. A dropkick sends Reigns into the corner and it’s time for an argument between the dysfunctional team over who gets to beat him up. Sheamus dives into an uppercut as I cringe at the thought of that being a World Title feud about a year ago. Owens finally gets involved, only to be taken down by a slingshot dive as we take a break.

Back with Owens clotheslining Cesaro in the corner to set up the Cannonball for two. The hot(ish) tag brings in Sheamus for the apron forearms but he loses a fight to Reigns on the floor. Apparently there was a tag in there somewhere as Reigns is allowed to come in and beat on Sheamus, including the Superman Punch for two. Owens tags himself back in and eats a Brogue Kick, only to have Reigns spear Sheamus to give Kevin the pin at 12:10.

Rating: D+. This is feeling like the leadup to Money in the Bank with the random matches that don’t go anywhere. This was a boring tag with the “regular” team losing clean and the makeshift team seemingly setting up something after Survivor Series. I really wasn’t feeling this one and the rest of the show doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much better.

Again from Raw.

It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.

The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.

Luke Harper vs. Apollo Crews

It feels like I haven’t seen Harper have a match in a long time. Luke immediately knocks Crews into the corner and grabs a headlock on the mat. Back up and Apollo sends it outside where he moonsaults over Luke, only to eat a superkick to send us to a break. Things aren’t much better for Crews as we come back to see him in the Gator Roll.

A Boss Man Slam gets two and it’s time to walk around shouting “YEAH YEAH YEAH”. Harper’s chinlock works as well as any given chinlock is going to work and Apollo gets up for a high crossbody. A standing shooting star press gets the same but the Toss Powerbomb is easily broken up. The discus lariat knocks Crews cold for the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to. It’s amazing what an actual fresh match between talented people can accomplish. I’m not wild on the idea of having Crews go down again but at least Harper finally won something. Maybe if he had done this while he was Intercontinental Champion, that might not be such a forgotten reign.

We wrap it up with most of the closing segment from Monday.

Here are all four bosses for the really long closing segment. They bicker a lot, the fans chant for Smackdown, Stephanie gets in a funny line with “YOU GUYS ARE AT RAW!”, Bryan points out that Foley and Shane are known for jumping off of tall structures and they debate the cruiserweight division being on the line.

Stephanie brings out the Raw team but here’s the Smackdown team through the crowd. Owens and AJ get in an argument over whose title is more important with Owens saying it’s his because he holds it. AJ suggests that Owens might wind up on the list but Jericho gives him a hug to calm things down. That means AJ JUST MADE THE LIST (pop of the night). Oh and that stupid soccer mom haircut? IT JUST MADE THE LIST! Jericho still isn’t done as he sees James Ellsworth, who is a weird looking guy. “Do you know what happens to weird looking guys on Raw? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”

Bray grabs the mic and yells at Braun for abandoning him after being given the keys to the kingdom. This Sunday, Smackdown destroys the monster that Bray created. A staredown ensues but Seth grabs the mic, only to start the brawl. Everyone goes after Braun with Shane getting to knock him outside. Orton gets back in but it’s Reigns cleaning house and getting booed out of the building. A DoubleBomb sends AJ onto Team Smackdown to end the show. This got really good once the bosses shut up but it’s way too late to save this dog of a show.

Overall Rating: C+. That closing segment was enough to carry it over the finish line. Couple that with two totally acceptable if not entertaining matches and this was one of the better entries in the Main Event series that I’ve seen so far. I mean granted that’s four shows but still, you have to start somewhere.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – November 14, 2016: Nope. Send This Back.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 14, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re ready for Survivor Series on Sunday and tonight is the last chance for the red show to pump things up. The big story here is Goldberg and Brock Lesnar being in the same ring before their showdown, which you may or may not find interesting. Finally we should get to hear about the big debate between Stephanie and Shane McMahon tonight….which is taking place on the Network after the show. Let’s get to it.

All of the Raw Survivor Series participants are on the stage as the bosses are in the ring. Stephanie plugs the debate after the show tonight and Foley says Sunday is about proving what’s better between the two shows. This leads to Foley doing Enzo Amore’s dance, much to Amore’s delight. Stephanie threatens to change Sunday’s lineup if some people don’t impress them tonight. That includes Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Kevin Owens/Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho/Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman vs. New Day and Charlotte/Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax.

Roman Reigns/Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Naturally Reigns and Owens have to do entrances again after being on the stage before the break. Cesaro and Reigns get things going and Owens is looking bored on the apron. A dropkick sends Reigns into the corner and it’s time for an argument between the dysfunctional team over who gets to beat him up. Sheamus dives into an uppercut as I cringe at the thought of that being a World Title feud about a year ago. Owens finally gets involved, only to be taken down by a slingshot dive as we take a break.

Back with Owens clotheslining Cesaro in the corner to set up the Cannonball for two. The hot(ish) tag brings in Sheamus for the apron forearms but he loses a fight to Reigns on the floor. Apparently there was a tag in there somewhere as Reigns is allowed to come in and beat on Sheamus, including the Superman Punch for two. Owens tags himself back in and eats a Brogue Kick, only to have Reigns spear Sheamus to give Kevin the pin at 12:10.

Rating: D+. This is feeling like the leadup to Money in the Bank with the random matches that don’t go anywhere. This was a boring tag with the “regular” team losing clean and the makeshift team seemingly setting up something after Survivor Series. I really wasn’t feeling this one and the rest of the show doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much better.

Jericho tries to get Rollins and Strowman to calm down and work together later, ala Owens. He even has presents for both of them: scarves! Rollins declines and Strowman rips up Jericho’s scarf because he doesn’t like Chris.

Sami Zayn vs. Bo Dallas

This is over Dallas not being happy with Sami getting the Intercontinental Title shot. The standard arm work doesn’t last long so it’s Dallas being aggressive in the corner to take over. Sami comes right back and hits the exploder into the corner followed by the Helluva Kick for the pin at 2:30.

Brian Kendrick has a speech for the cruiserweights. He knows everyone is concerned about moving to Smackdown but there’s no way he’s going to lose because he’s the standard bearer of this division. Most of the division starts talking about how they could beat Kendrick and an argument breaks out. This really didn’t need to exist.

New Day comes out for their match and they’ve got a merchandise cart. They’ve been WWE Tag Team Champions for nearly 450 days because they know how to survive. With the holidays right around the corner, you need their gear to survive, with gear such as New Day Socks. You can stuff that sock with a unicorn horn or a certain brand of cereal.

New Day vs. Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman/Chris Jericho

Jericho and Kofi start things off and that’s not a bad thing. An elbow to the jaw puts Kofi on the mat and it’s quickly off to Woods vs. Rollins with the latter coming in off a chop to the chest. That goes nowhere either as they hit the mat for Seth’s headlock before it’s back to Jericho as New Day takes over. The Warrior splash gets two and Kofi comes back in, only to get slammed by Braun as we take a break.

Back with Braun holding Kofi in a nerve hold before handing it back to Rollins. Some double knees put Seth down but it’s Strowman running cross the ring to kick Big E. in the face. We wind up with Woods kicking Jericho in the back and Strowman plowing through the other two opponents. Woods finally kicks him in the face and forearms Rollins in the jaw. That’s enough for Braun though as it’s a powerslam to end Xavier at 14:06.

Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end as Woods continues to be great at the last chance offense. Strowman is getting better at being a rampaging monster but he’s still in need of some more experience. I liked the match well enough though and New Day will be fine with a loss like this. That being said, it’s getting harder and harder to care about these one off matches between people with no animosity.

Paul Heyman interrupts the bosses and suggests that there won’t be a match if Lesnar isn’t happy. Mick orders more security.

Charlotte is in the back with Sasha for the weekly “women like to bicker with each other” segment. The big deal here is that Sasha has a title rematch down the line and they don’t like each other.

Brian Kendrick vs. Sin Cara

Non-title and Kendrick jumps him during the entrances. Cara says ring the bell so Brian beats him up in the corner as we hear about 205 Live, which really isn’t the best idea during this dull match. The chinlock evolves into the choking on the ropes but a backdrop puts Kendrick outside for a suicide dive. A second dive hits the barricade and we take a break. IN THIS MATCH.

Back with Kendrick choking even more because that’s what a heel cruiserweight does. Brian misses a charge in the corner and a top rope spinning splash gives Cara two. The crowd is just GONE here as Cara gets two off a sitout powerbomb. Kendrick goes for the mask and puts on the Captain’s Hook (looks terrible) for the tap out at 11:05.

Rating: D. Was this Cara’s punishment for the fight with Jericho? This was slow, boring and completely killed what little energy the crowd had left. As has been the case for months now, WWE has no idea what to do with a cruiserweight division. An eleven minute match is bad enough but having it be mostly spent on chinlocks and choking before finishing with a chinlock. This division really needs to go somewhere else and maybe its own show is the solution, but not without some major changes.

Enzo and Big Cass are in the back when Anderson and Gallows come up. They don’t trust each other in their eight man tag tonight.

It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.

The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.

Sasha Banks/Charlotte vs. Nia Jax/Alicia Fox

Bayley is on commentary. Charlotte gets to face Nia to start and Sasha bails to the floor because they’re partners that don’t like each other. I didn’t know if they had made that clear in the two previous matches with the same stories. The champ can’t get anywhere with the monster and bails to the floor for an early break.

Back with Sasha rolling Alicia up for one and hitting the chinlock. Charlotte and Sasha finally break down and get in a fight, allowing Fox to bring Alicia back in. A big boot staggers Jax but another fight allows Alicia to come in with a high crossbody. Charlotte neutralizes Nia and the Bank Statement makes Fox tap at 7:45.

Rating: C-. Boring match (due to seeing the same story for the third time in just over two hours) but it makes sense to actually have them get in a fight for a change. I really don’t need to see Charlotte vs. Sasha again but I’m sure they’ll have one more gimmick match to really hammer home how important it is. Also, well done on having Alicia job here, which you can imagine them screwing up to try to swerve the audience.

Foley gives the Raw team another pep talk.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass/Anderson and Gallows vs. Shining Stars/Golden Truth

Cass throws Epico around to start and everything breaks down, leaving Golden Truth vs. Enzo and Cass. Uh, epic? We take a break just over a minute in and come back with a double Russian legsweep to Anderson. Karl pops right back up and grabs a chinlock on Truth as the fans are some combination of confused over who to cheer for and bored half to death. Primo tags himself in and gets to face Big Cass as everything breaks down. The Magic Killer plants Primo and Anderson tells to go up for the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka before just taking the pin himself at 9:03.

Rating: D. Yeah go back and look at one of the ratings for the same idea earlier on and substitute in the appropriate names. I don’t think there’s much that I can add to this one because there’s almost no story here. Anderson and Gallows don’t like the rest of the division and they’re mean to their partners. Next segment please.

Here are all four bosses for the really long closing segment. They bicker a lot, the fans chant for Smackdown, Stephanie gets in a funny line with “YOU GUYS ARE AT RAW!”, Bryan points out that Foley and Shane are known for jumping off of tall structures and they debate the cruiserweight division being on the line.

Stephanie brings out the Raw team but here’s the Smackdown team through the crowd. Owens and AJ get in an argument over whose title is more important with Owens saying it’s his because he holds it. AJ suggests that Owens might wind up on the list but Jericho gives him a hug to calm things down. That means AJ JUST MADE THE LIST (pop of the night). Oh and that stupid soccer mom haircut? IT JUST MADE THE LIST! Jericho still isn’t done as he sees James Ellsworth, who is a weird looking guy. “Do you know what happens to weird looking guys on Raw? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”

Bray grabs the mic and yells at Braun for abandoning him after being given the keys to the kingdom. This Sunday, Smackdown destroys the monster that Bray created. A staredown ensues but Seth grabs the mic, only to start the brawl. Everyone goes after Braun with Shane getting to knock him outside. Orton gets back in but it’s Reigns cleaning house and getting booed out of the building. A DoubleBomb sends AJ onto Team Smackdown to end the show. This got really good once the bosses shut up but it’s way too late to save this dog of a show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling was acceptable (albeit boring) but the problem here was the lack of effort. This three plus hour show had two main ideas: wacky tag team partners who don’t get along and Goldberg vs. Lesnar. The latter of those ideas took fifteen minutes and the other idea took up the rest of the show. Save for a WAY too long cruiserweight match (Yeah I know, I criticize the cruiserweights. Get over it.) and a nothing Sami vs. Dallas match, that’s all this show was. For three hours. Two ideas.

I can tolerate a show focused on one thing or a show that is trying to accomplish a goal but this was WAY over the top. You can’t showcase someone on the team against people not on the pay per view roster? Or do ANYTHING other than the same idea for most of the show? I checked out on this show as soon as I realized they didn’t have anything tonight and that’s not something that should ever happen. The quality wasn’t the worst here and the ending segment did it a lot of favors but the lack of effort destroys it.

Results

Kevin Owens/Roman Reigns b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Spear to Sheamus

Sami Zayn b. Bo Dallas – Helluva Kick

Braun Strowman/Seth Rollins/Chris Jericho b. New Day – Powerslam to Woods

Brian Kendrick b. Sin Cara – Captain’s Hook

Charlotte/Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax – Bank Statement to Fox

Enzo Amore/Big Cass/Anderson and Gallows b. Shining Stars/Golden Truth – Magic Killer to Primo

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009: Triple Threat Theater

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

By this point a lot of the top mainstays are firmly established on top of the company. Cena is the star that everyone knows him as now, Orton is becoming one of the top heels and Punk is rising up the card. Now that things have stopped shuffling, we can get down to some solid stories and matches. However, the midcard is about to be in a major state of flux. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

Miz and Morrison used to be partners but have since split and started a feud. Hardy and Benjamin would be gone from WWE in 2010, Finlay would become a trainer and only part time wrestler in the same year, and Morrison wouldn’t make it to 2012. Bourne (a high flier) would stay active but eventually be out over two years with a foot injury. Morrison is Intercontinental Champion.

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

There’s the hot tag to Matt (BIG pop) and a double elbow to the back of Ziggler’s head by Evan and Matt. The Side Effect sets up Air Bourne (great looking shooting star press) for the elimination of Ziggler, but McIntyre comes in immediately and Future Shocks (double arm DDT) Bourne to tie it back up. Finlay charges in to fight McIntyre and hits that Regal Roll of his. Off to Sheamus and Striker goes oooo.

They stare each other down but a Miz distraction allows Sheamus to Brogue Kick Finlay down for the pin. Matt comes in to pound on Sheamus but he walks into a powerslam for two for the pale one. Off to Miz who drops a leg and puts on a reverse chinlock. The Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) gets two and it’s off to a front facelock.

Hardy reverses but Swagger comes in and drops ax handles on his back to keep Matt in. Jack hooks a chinlock but Matt counters into a sleeper, from which he drops Swagger onto the back of his head in a kind of neckbreaker. Hot tag brings in Morrison to speed thing up. Morrison gets sent into the post but avoids the Vader Bomb. After taking out Miz, the Flying Chuck (Disaster kick) kills Jack for two as everything breaks down. The referee gets run over and once things calm down, Morrison hits a knee to Swagger’s chest and Starship Pain (twisting split legged moonsault) ties things up by eliminating Swagger.

Miz comes in and hits his running corner clothesline followed by a top rope double ax for two. Off to a quickly broken chinlock and it’s back to Shelton, now with gold hair in an idea that never did work. A Stinger Splash and a northern lights suplex gets two and Benjamin keeps knocking Miz away whenever Miz comes at him. A bridging German suplex gets two for Shelton as the original referee is being checked for a concussion. Sheamus breaks up a neckbreaker from Shelton and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to take out Benjamin.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Morrison starts with McIntyre and pounds away in the corner as Striker quotes Jim Morrison lyrics. Drew sends him into the corner and it’s off to Sheamus for some double stomping. Miz comes back in for some trash talk followed by a slugout. Morrison takes over but it’s quickly off to Sheamus to run John over. Morrison kicks all three heels down but the Flying Chuck is caught by a Brogue Kick out of the air, followed by the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This was your typical Survivor Series match and hopefully it gives us the definitive ending to the feud between the captains. Morrison was the more athletically gifted guy but Miz would go on to much better things. I’m not sure if it was more his talent or the complete lack of expectations for him but Miz went miles ahead of Morrison soon after this. Sheamus would get the Raw World Title in less than a month.

Team Kofi talks strategy but Christian feels awkward among four people not like him. His partners are MVP, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Mark Henry. Christian says he’s the only one that’s….you know…..from ECW. The awkward responses ensue and Christian thinks they thought it was because he’s Canadian. Christian “raps” and mentions the race thing, drawing stares. Everyone eventually cracks up.

We recap Batista vs. Rey Mysterio. They had been tag partners but Rey got pinned a few times. At Bragging Rights, Batista snapped and turned heel on Rey in one of the best heel turns in years. I loved this turn because it’s so simple: Batista got tired of losing over and over and then, very calmly, he said he was going to rip Rey’s head off, and then he DID. Rey begged for mercy, but Batista kept beating on him and hurting him, turning him into a big, muscle headed bully, which is one of the best kinds.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

Rey kicks Batista into 619 position but Batista grabs the legs out of the air but can’t hit the Bomb yet. Mysterio sends him to the floor for a seated senton but Batista shrugs it off. Back in and Rey hits a pair of 619’s to the back and the ribs and a third to the face. Another springboard seated senton puts Batista down and Rey goes up for the Eddie Guerrero dance, only to dive onto knees. Batista kills Rey with a spear and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb kills Rey but Dave won’t cover. There’s another Bomb and a third so the referee stops the match.

Rating: C+. I liked this for the story it was telling and the match wasn’t all that important. This was cool to see as Batista let out some of his anger and didn’t have to get pinned by some stupid rollup or anything like that. Sometimes you need some violence and the destruction of someone instead of them being able to stand tall. Let the bad guy win once in awhile and let him look strong. Then when someone stands up to him and beats him, they’re a hero. For some reason, this never happens anymore.

Post match Batista brings in a chair and picks up a begging Rey. He hits a spinebuster onto the chair, but the key here is the look on his face. There is no emotion on it at all and it’s like he has to do this because it’s who he is. Awesome all around. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Orton doesn’t like his team. Punk doesn’t really want to hear it.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Unfortunately, the beginning of this saw Kofi miss his cue and make Orton look stupid, so guess what happened to Kofi’s push at the end of this program. Since, you know, months of awesome promos and buildup and crowd reactions should be thrown away for the sake of a three second error that no one remembers. The package easily edits it out here, but hey, EVERYONE remembers EVERYTHING that happens on Raw right? That’s why everything is recapped: so EVERYONE that remember EVERYTHING can remember it even better.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Christian is ECW Champion and is feuding with Regal. Mark Henry and MVP are a team and feuding with Legacy (Rhodes and DiBiase. That’s DiBiase Jr. of course. He never did much but he had potential.). Orton is pleased that he gets to fight Kofi but Henry starts instead. Henry throws Randy into Orton’s corner where Henry beats up all four of them. There’s a bearhug as Striker says being a Rumble winner might help Orton with strategy here. What does a battle royal have to do with an elimination tag match? Anyway, Legacy helps their boss out and it’s an RKO to eliminate Henry in less than a minute.

MVP comes in and Team Orton all bails to the floor. After the quick huddle outside, here’s Orton again to face MVP but Rhodes makes a blind tag to stomp away on him. It’s quickly off to DiBiase then Regal then Punk to stomp away until Punk hooks a chinlock. MVP fights up and hits a suplex that looked like it lacked contact before bringing Truth in. Truth does his backflip into the splits but Rhodes’ distraction lets Punk hit the GTS to eliminate the rapper.

Christian comes in next to face Punk and they trade basic stuff to start. Punk gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to DiBiase for a middle rope elbow which gets two. Christian tries the Killswitch but walks into a powerslam instead. Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) and the Killswitch are both countered so Christian kicks DiBiase in the ribs and hits the spinning sunset flip out of the corner to make it 4-3.

Regal comes in immediately and gets all fired up but gets dropkicked down. There’s the tag to Kofi and things speed way up. Kofi fires off punches in the corner and but Regal fires off some punches to slow Kofi down. Off to Rhodes for more punches and kicks before Regal comes in again. MVP gets the tag and hits the Drive By (running boot to the head) to take Regal out and tie us up at three each (Kofi/MVP/Christian vs. Orton/Rhodes/Punk).

Cody comes in with a top rope cross body but MVP rolls through it for two. Rhodes gets caught in the good guy corner and it’s Canadian time as Christian pounds him into another corner. Tornado DDT is broken up and Christian is in trouble already. Cody wraps his legs around Christian as things slow down again. Off to Randy again who hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. Off to Rhodes who misses a knee drop so it’s back to MVP. It’s more basic punches and the Ballin Elbow for no cover. MVP has to knock Orton down and gets caught in Cross Rhodes to make it 3-2.

Kofi comes in and rolls up Cody for a VERY hot two count before it’s back to Christian. The Canadian works on the arm before it’s back to Kofi with a springboard shot to the arm as well. Christian and Kofi take turns on Cody until the Killswitch takes him out. This was simple yet effective. It’s down to Punk/Orton vs. Christian/Kofi which is a spiffy little tag match.

Orton comes in to face Christian and a right hand takes Captain Charisma down. Christian has to take Punk down off the apron but still manages to avoid the RKO and hit the Killswitch for two as Punk saves. Punk distracts Christian and it’s an RKO to make it 2-1. Kofi wants Orton but Randy tags out when he sees Kingston there. Punk and Kofi stare at each other a bit before slugging it out with Kofi taking over with some HARD forearms.

The GTS and Trouble in Paradise both miss and we’ve got a stalemate. Kofi hits a big dropkick and the SOS for two. Orton is walking around on the floor as Punk takes over. Off to a leg choke which shifts to a body vice with the legs as some time is killed. Kofi fights up but a splash hits Punk’s knees.

A falcon’s arrow gets two for CM but the bulldog out of the corner is countered with a belly to back suplex. Kofi goes up and after blocking a superplex twice, a top rope cross body gets a close two. An Orton distraction prevents the Boom Drop but Kofi reverses a rollup into the pin on Punk and immediately kicks Orton’s head off for the final pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: B. This took a bit more time than it needed but the ending was perfect. It made Kofi look like a STAR….and then he lost the next month to Orton and was back in the midcard immediately after, but this was AWESOME. The other eliminations didn’t mean much and this would have been better as a 4-4 match with about three less minutes, but great ending and I was totally into the Kofi push at this point.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho’s team won at Bragging Rights and Big Show turned on Raw at the same show to get this spot. Undertaker is defending and he’s the only person I’ll call champion in this match even though Jericho and Big Show have the Smackdown Tag Team Titles here. The challengers pound Undertaker into the corner with Show headbutting the champion a bit for good measure.

Undertaker comes back with a clothesline to send Show to the floor and goes after him instead of fighting Jericho in the ring. Odd decision but Undertaker is an odd guy most of the time. Undertaker fires away punches on the floor but Jericho pops up from out of nowhere and takes out the champ’s legs. Undertaker is stuck in the timekeeper’s area so the challengers lift him out of it to throw him back inside to hammer away.

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

A chokeslam to Undertaker is countered into a DDT and all three guys are down. Jericho tries to cover both guys but can only get two before being launched to the floor by Big Show. Undertaker wins a slugout with Big Show and they both grab chokeslam grips, but it’s Jericho with a belt shot to take Show down, possibly by mistake. Undertaker loads up the Last Ride on Jericho but another belt shot to the head knocks out the champion for a good two seconds.

Jericho mocks the Undertaker for some reason and tries a Tombstone. Since he isn’t Kane at the moment, Undertaker easily counters, only to have Big Show knock him out. Jericho saves the pin and tries a Codebreaker on Big Show, who is like boy please. A knock out punch puts Jericho down as Undertaker is getting back to his feet. Show calls for the chokeslam but Show pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate for the submission to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that went fine but you could have called most of the match the entire way through. Was there any doubt that Undertaker was going to keep the belt here and that the partners would turn on each other? That’s the problem with these kind of matches: they never take risks on the endings so it’s the same stuff over and over again.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Elimination rules. Michelle is Women’s Champion and Melina is Divas Champion. Layla and McCool are now an evil team called Laycool, Fox is a Diva with an attitude, Torres is a smart and polished woman and Gail is back from TNA but not doing much. Kelly and Layla get things going and it’s not pretty from the start. They are but the wrestling isn’t quite so smooth. Layla hits some dropkicks to the back but Kelly comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head to get the quick elimination.

Off to Gail vs. Michelle and it’s a quick Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to eliminate Kim. Seriously it’s that fast. It’s time for Eve vs. Jillian with the singer taking over with a cartwheel splash. After some uninspired stuff, Eve pins Jillian with a top rope sunset flip and is immediately pinned herself after the Glam Slam. A second Glam Slam pins Kelly and it’s down to Mickie/Melina vs. Beth/Michelle/Alicia. Mickie comes in to fight Beth and after some forearms, a crucifix gets rid of Phoenix.

Alicia comes in next and things slow WAY down as Beth was the only girl in there that was going to be able to beat Mickie. A northern lights suplex with a GREAT bridge from Alicia (she could always do that so well) gets two but Mickie backflips up from the mat into a front chancery. It’s quickly broken up but it looked awesome. Mickie comes off the middle rope with a Thesz Press for the pin to make it 2-1.

Michelle comes in and stomps on Mickie before hooking a chinlock. Mickie comes back with a forearm to the face and both chicks are down. James can’t quite make the tag so Michelle slams her down for two. There’s the hot tag to Melina who goes nuts but gets no response. Michelle suplexes her down but she puts Melina over her shoulders and gets caught in a sunset flip for the final pin.

Rating: D-. This was worthless. As in there was no value to this whatsoever. The sex appeal is going down too as most of the girls are more covered up than they were in the previous years, and when you have bad wrestling with a lack of sex appeal, the Divas matches go way down in value. The crowd didn’t care at all here either.

Batista liked hurting Rey.

No recap video for the main event, but there’s no need for one. It’s the same story as the other World Title match minus the Bragging Rights parts.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. The bell rings and Shawn superkicks HHH to the floor for a big surprise. Cena’s reaction is great as he never saw that coming and I don’t think most people did either. The replay screws it up by showing a good three inches between Shawn’s boot and HHH’s face, but that’s normal anymore. Cena tries a fast clothesline on Shawn but gets caught in a neckbreaker instead.

John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex but Shawn chops away in the corner. Shawn gets kicked onto the top rope where Cena tries the AA but Shawn counters into something that most resembled a DDT for two. Shawn goes for the knee and the fans think Cena sucks. There’s a Figure Four on Cena but John turns it over to escape.

Back to their feet we go and Cena’s leg seems perfectly fine. He hits a pair of shoulder blocks but a third misses and he falls to the floor. Shawn loads up the announce table as HHH is still out cold apparently. Cena pops up to try an AA through the table but HHH saves, only to hit a big spinebuster to send Shawn through the table. Back inside we have HHH pounding away on Cena as Striker won’t stop talking. He goes on about how HHH is the ace of spades and all kinds of other terms that either go over most peoples’ heads or make little sense because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else watching.

HHH hits a neckbreaker for two on Cena but a Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the corner. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting a shoulder to take over. There’s the ProtoBomb but Shawn sends him into the post to break up the Shuffle. It’s time for DX to explode and Shawn takes over early with an atomic drop followed by some chops. HHH comes back with a knee to the face but Shawn hits the forearms and nips up.

It doesn’t do much good though as he is immediately caught in the spinebuster, but like Cena he escapes the Pedigree. Shawn goes up but gets crotched by Cena who goes up as well, only to miss the top rope Fameasser. Shawn hits the top rope elbow on Cena but HHH sends Shawn to the floor. There’s the STF on HHH as Cena doesn’t seem interested in selling at all in this match. As HHH is about to tap, Shawn comes in and hooks the Crossface on Cena to break the hold.

Cena pulls up from that into an AA attempt but Michaels slips down the back, only to get caught in the STF. Shawn FINALLY gets the rope and pops up to superkick Cena. HHH charges in and takes another superkick, only to fall on Cena for a VERY close two. Cena hits an AA on HHH as Shawn gets back in after falling out after the two kicks. They both crawl for the cover and both get a two at the same time. All three guys try finishers on each other (including a piledriver attempt from Shawn) before Shawn superkicks HHH again but gets AA’d onto HHH for the pin to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good solid match here and WAY better than the previous one. Cena’s selling here was really surprising though as he’s not one to pull something like that. Other than that the finishers being used so often got a bit annoying, but the match felt like a big battle where anyone could have won, which couldn’t really be said about Show vs. Jericho vs. Undertaker. Good stuff here.

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good show but overall, it’s kind of underwhelming. The show mostly felt like it came and went and if the show happened that’s fine but if it didn’t exist that would be fine too. The triple threats didn’t work either although the main event was definitely a solid match. No need to see this, although it was good show if that makes sense.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – June 13, 2002: A Ratings Bonanza!

Smackdown
Date: June 13, 2002
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from King of the Ring and it’s really not looking like the most interesting thing in the world. Granted you could say that about almost any show around this point but this one is looking even worse. Smackdown no longer has its own owner so things are changing all over again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the big angle from Monday.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going, flanked by a bunch of security guards and with a table and chairs set up in the ring. Vince stands on top of the table and goes on a rant about how he put everything on the line and how powerful people only get more powerful. That’s why we’re going to entertain you tonight, starting with a CONTRACT SIGNING!

The boss brings out Undertaker and HHH for the very slow paced staredown. Undertaker signs, HHH throws out a chair and then signs, Vince talks and it’s a ratings bonanza! Security grabs HHH and the beatdown is on until HHH pulls out a well placed sledgehammer. HHH says he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Undertaker. A security guard gets beaten down and it’s time for a break. Back with HHH still in the ring as Billy, Chuck and Rico are standing on the ramp with the champs holding chairs. Threats of sucking on a sledgehammer ensue and Billy gets laid out.

With that not getting HHH anywhere, HHH he on the announcers’ table until the hammer actually breaks. Naturally there’s another hammer waiting but that can’t break the table either so HHH just kicks the thing over. Now it’s a monitor being destroyed, followed by a camera. Vince FINALLY comes out and makes HHH/Hogan vs. Undertaker/Angle for later. We’re over a fourth of the way through this show and they’ve only set up the main event. Oh and HHH beat up a Tag Team Champion. The camera gets destroyed too.

Back from a break with….replays!

Earlier today, Nidia made fun of Hurricane so he suggested she use her oral skills to tell Jamie Noble to come find him. A challenge is issued so Nidia licks his face. She’s no Catrina.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Test vs. Hurricane

Non-title of course. Test no sells some right hands to start and we can see the announcers’ table still on its side. Is HHH going to come back out here and hit them with his hammer if someone tips it back over? Hurricane avoids a charge in the corner but his crossbody is pulled out of the air. The chokeslam is broken up but a quick Eye of the Hurricane gets two on Test. And never mind as the Test Drive gets rid of Hurricane clean in less than two minutes. That would be two champions taken out in less than forty minutes.

Nidia and Noble come out and take off Hurricane’s mask.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Hardcore Holly

The table has been turned back over. You can stop panicking. Tazz picks Holly to win the whole tournament while Cole, who isn’t quite as stupid, picks Chris Jericho. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including the big spinning version for two. A powerslam gives Holly the same To change things up a bit, Tajiri kicks him in the head again for two more, followed by an Alabama Slam to give Holly the pin.

Rating: D. To be fair this was just to get to the final eight so Holly advancing isn’t the worst thing in the world. They kept it short but this was about three and a half minutes of them trading moves until one of them got pinned. Maybe they don’t quite have enough room on the roster for sixteen people but then we couldn’t have qualifying matches and those are interesting. Not as interesting as a thirty minute contract signing segment but you have to take what you can get.

Val Venis and Jericho trash talk each other.

GET THE F OUT! BARBERSHOP VERSION!

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm vs. Val Venis/Billy Kidman

Val runs Jericho over with a shoulder to start and a neckbreaker gets two. Kidman comes in with a bad looking high crossbody, though it could be due to Kidman’s trunks being about three sizes too small. The former Sudden Impact starts taking over on Kidman with Storm hitting a dropkick before Jericho misses a charge in the corner.

That’s enough for the tag off to Val as everything breaks down. The good guys mess up a spot with Kidman being launched into a dropkick (or maybe a hurricanrana), leaving him a little short and only kicking Storm in the chest with one foot. Val and Jericho go outside so Kidman can hit the shooting star. Jericho pulls the referee though and drops Kidman, only to have Billy roll Storm up for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. I can always go for moving a cruiserweight up the ladder a little bit and Kidman is more than good enough to make that jump. Now I have no faith in WWE to not screw this up all over again as that’s certainly their custom, but at least he got a win here and it’s a win he could build on rather than one over Jericho where he would get beaten in their singles rematch.

Replays show Storm’s shoulder was up. So much for Kidman looking good.

Hogan doesn’t think much about Angle for attacking him last week after the big match with HHH (that one that didn’t even last seven minutes). See, Hogan and Angle are a lot alike. They’re both American icons, they both love the red, white and blue, they’re both former champions and they’re both bald. The only difference is Hogan lost his hair battle to mother nature. Hogan wants a fight with Angle at some point in the future and can’t wait to face him in the main event tonight.

Storm yells at Brian Hebner for screwing up and thinks it’s typical American behavior, especially from this family. To be fair, they haven’t done anything with Montreal in what, ten minutes at this point?

We look at Jackie Gayda costing Linda Miles her debut match on Velocity.

Linda has found a partner to help her fight Jackie and Ivory: Trish.

Vince is on the phone and says the camera cost $50,000. Angle comes in and accepts Hogan’s challenge for King of the Ring but can’t stand the idea that Hogan thinks he’s bald. Undertaker comes in but Vince tells him tonight is a calculated risk.

D-Von comes out, calls…..shall we say self pleasuring a sin and says he doesn’t do that anymore. Faarooq comes out and says he still does.

Faarooq vs. Reverend D-Von

Spinebuster ends D-Von in seven seconds.

Batista hits D-Von in the head with the collection box by mistake. This whole thing took about three minutes, which is likely due to the opening segment taking up a fourth of the show. That might not be the worst thing in the world.

Trish Stratus/Linda vs. Ivory/Jackie Gayda

Thankfully the veterans start things off with Ivory taking over, allowing Jackie to hit Trish in the face with a knee brace. It’s off to Linda for a slam and dropkick with Ivory making the save. A double flapjack plants Linda again but the Stratusphere sets up Stratusfaction for the pin on Ivory. It’s good that they kept this short for obvious reasons. I’d be rather annoyed if I paid for this show and had to sit through a pair of rookies having a horrible match because of some reality show.

Stacy, looking GREAT tonight, hits on Vince for becoming boss again. Vince kisses her and Stacy looks disgusted. Dawn Marie knocking at the door was ignored.

For the first time we see the brackets for the King of the Ring.

X-Pac

Rob Van Dam

Val Venis

Chris Jericho

Test

Hardcore Holly

Booker T.

Brock Lesnar

Angle and Undertaker attack Hogan.

Hulk Hogan/HHH vs. Undertaker/Kurt Angle

HHH runs out and blasts Angle during the entrances so it’s the HHH vs. Undertaker slugout to start. Angle gets back in and the double teaming has HHH in trouble as we get down to the regular tag structure. The champ is happy with letting Angle do most of the work and get in a cheap shot here and there. A right hand puts Taker down but that’s enough of a distraction to start the rolling German suplexes.

Cole thinks HHH might be thrown off by fighting two men at the same time. This would be your “Gee willikers Cole, you think so?” moment of the night. Undertaker comes in for some slow right hands before it’s back to Angle for a sleeper. A double clothesline drops Taker and HHH, followed by Angle going shoulder first into the post. HHH is able to send Kurt into the steps but grabs the sledgehammer to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. It’s hard to imagine that this took place for any reason other than “Hogan can’t be trusted for more than one match every few weeks”. The wrestling here was way too slow paced to work and I was very bored for the most part. HHH vs. Undertaker is looking horrible for a main event and Angle is going to need a miracle to make Hogan look passable.

The beatdown continues post match with HHH being left laying, only to have Hogan run out and attack Angle. HHH gets back up and the wig is ripped off. A lot of posing ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know Raw gets all the criticism but this show was a trainwreck. It was half an hour of waiting around until we get to the end of the first segment (with the Tag Team Champions being treated as cannon fodder) and then a bunch of short matches, including a seven second “match” which didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. Things can get better but the main event is just killing this promotion right now.

Oh and as a bonus, here are the final four segments from a house show the Sunday before this show:

Billy and Chuck vs. Rikishi/Tazz

Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis

Swimsuit contestant

Hardcore Holly vs. Kurt Angle (Holly won)

Venis is probably a substitute for Edge but I have no idea where HHH was, as he and Angle main evented a house show the next night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2008: The Cena/Jericho Special

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

The other major story on the show is Team Orton vs. Team Batista. Randy Orton vs. Batista had always been a match WWE wanted to push on a big stage but this is about as high as they ever got. They would face each other at various other pay per views in singles matches, but none as high profile as this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the exact same thing it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Rey hits a quick hurricanrana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s time for Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Naturally Shawn skins the cat to come back in, as he has for years. At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn gets back inside. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker. Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 victory.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Tonight it’s going to be him vs. Kozlov and HHH promises to give the Russian his first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Candice is a model who wasn’t horrible in the ring, Maryse is a French Canadian bombshell and Natalya is a member of the Hart Family. Beth is the captain of Team Raw (and is dating Santino Marella) and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Good thinking. After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a hurricanrana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin as well.

It’s 4-4 now and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same. Maria’s save hits McCool by mistake, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2 with Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam (double chickenwing slam) gives Beth the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match and the casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. They have a nice casket this year too instead of the normally generic ones. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses though and Undertaker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Undertaker face first into the announce table to daze the smaller giant. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Undertaker on the table. Undertaker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. A BIG leg to put Show through the table in the huge spot of the match.

They slowly start heading back to the casket but take a detour into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Undertaker is put inside but Show has to close the casket himself.

Since Show won’t close the lid, Undertaker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Undertaker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Undertaker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Well of course there is. Undertaker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Undertaker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Undertaker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Undertaker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: D. This is considered a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Undertaker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo (cousins) hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Cody is being mentored by Orton in a group called Legacy, Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw Tag Team Champions. Orton cost Punk the Raw World Title back in October, Hardy and Henry are feuding over the ECW Title, Truth is chasing Shelton’s Title and Regal has been helping Orton against Batista. This is quite the intricate match for a change.

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Rhodes quickly tags out to Shelton but Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (a jumping downward spiral) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the hanging DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton, who gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who didn’t last long) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminates Punk quickly and we’re down to 4-2 with Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

HHH is defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy.

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fall away slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with anyone who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella at Cyber Sunday was indeed better?

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? He wrestled like his character was supposed to. Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a World Title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov one on one. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which should have been Hardy. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Championship Scramble match last month at Unforgiven and stole the World Title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to try and get his title back. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho is defending of course. Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser, only to come down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. A kick to the side of Cena’s head puts him on the floor for a nine count. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder connects. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Walls of Jericho)! He hasn’t used that in years but it looks awesome. Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena, after being in the hold over a minute straight, grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – November 8, 2016: Tag Teams Are Fun

Main Event
Date: November 8, 2016
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: David Otunga, Tom Phillips

We’re still across the pond for the supplemental show, meaning we’re likely to see more from this week’s Monday Night Raw. Survivor Series is in less than two weeks and Goldberg vs. Lesnar is starting to heat up. Hopefully we get more from the tag team division this week as that was a lot of fun last time. Let’s get to it.

Jason Jordan vs. Viktor

Jordan easily takes him down with a belly to back suplex before hitting that perfect dropkick. Konnor offers a distraction and Jordan is sent hard into the corner. We’re already in the chinlock for a bit before an elbow drop misses. Jordan makes his quick comeback and takes the straps down, only to get kneed in the face. As Jordan kicks out, Gable takes Konnor down with a flip dive off the apron, followed by Jordan grabbing a modified t-bone suplex for the pin at 3:46.

Rating: C. This didn’t do much to make me think that Jordan has a future without Gable. The dropkick looks great but Jordan really does need that fire from Gable for the hot tag. There’s nothing wrong with that as a lot of people are just better as a tag wrestler. The dropkick still looks great and Jordan has talent but he needs someone to bring it out of him.

We get the Goldberg and Brock Lesnar videos from Raw.

Clip from Sami Zayn vs. Rusev from Monday as Sami earns an Intercontinental Title shot.

Hype Bros vs. Usos

Zack and Jey get things going without a lot happening before it’s off to Mojo, who throws Jey into the corner. The Bros start beating Jimmy into the corner but Jey offers a distraction to save his brother from the Broski Boot. The first superkick drops Ryder and we take a break. Back with Jey holding a chinlock, as is the case in almost every match with a break ever.

Jimmy adds his own chinlock before changing things up by bringing Jey back in for another chinlock. A neckbreaker finally snaps the streak and it’s Mojo coming back in to clean house. Rawley wants the tag but Ryder is still down. Mojo: “Ok rest up!” The rest seems to work as Zack is backdropped over the top and onto both twins. Jey takes a Broski Boot but a blind tag allows the superkick to the leg and the Tequila Sunrise makes Ryder tap at 11:00.

Rating: C+. The Hype Bros are getting better and the Usos have gotten a very needed upgrade with the heel turn. They’re still not great but this is way better than seeing them do the same stuff over and over again for years. This didn’t have a ton of sizzle but it was a completely fine tag match.

We’ll wrap it up with Monday’s main event.

Braun Strowman vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Stephanie: “Now you all are going into the biggest match of your lives and it’s so important for Raw to win. NOW GO OUT THERE AND BEAT THE HECK OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR MY AMUSEMENT!!!” Non-title, nothing on the line and Reigns comes out last. Rollins, Owens and Jericho go outside so we get Reigns staring at Strowman for a long time. Strowman is knocked to the floor where Rollins beats on him with a kendo stick. Now it’s a table but Strowman makes a quick save to take us to a break.

Back with Strowman giving Reigns the reverse chokeslam and kicking Jericho out of the air. Owens tries to talk his way out of trouble before punching Strowman in the face, earning himself a clothesline. Everyone goes after Strowman and an enziguri from Rollins into the Superman Punch is finally enough to send him outside. The Sling Blade drops Owens and it’s time for the Shield showdown.

That goes nowhere as Strowman has to be dealt with again, only to have the Canadians break up the TripleBomb through the table. Strowman is put on the table and it’s Jericho being powerbombed through Braun through the table. Back in and Rollins kicks Owens in the head for two, followed by the Pedigree for the same with Jericho making the save. That earns Chris a Pedigree but Owens makes a save. Reigns Superman Punches Owens…..right into the pin on Jericho at 14:58.

Rating: C+. This was fine, although I’m really not sure what this changes. The World Champion winning a match has become a big surprise because he loses way too often anymore. At least the right guy won and this isn’t being used to set up the new challenge. I’m still not sure why Stephanie would want to make that match but who am I to question her?

Overall Rating: B-. This was a lot more fun than Superstars as you had a few more energetic matches. I really don’t understand why Superstars insists on trotting out the same boring acts every few weeks when they have a bunch of people who are at least marginally more entertaining. Either way, fun show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6