It’s another big time pay per view but more interestingly it might be the last pay per view of this era with the Brand Split changing everything a month after this show airs. They’re building this up as the greatest Money in the Bank of all time and while I have a really hard time believing they can top the 2011 edition, it could be interesting to see what they could do here. Let’s get to it.
The card has actually undergone a few changes so we’ll start with the new pre-show matches, beginning with Golden Truth vs. Breezango. I know it’s not the most popular feud in the world but I’ve been digging this story as it’s gone on for months. The interesting thing here though is I’m not sure who wins goes over. They could finally have Golden Truth get a win but that kind of wraps up the feud. On the other hand they could go with Breezango winning and further the split between Truth and Goldust.
I actually think Breezango goes over as Golden Truth doesn’t exactly have much of a future while Breezango could actually be built into a low level team of some value. Yeah I’ll take Breezango but I wouldn’t be surprised if I was wrong. Either way, this is a good example of how to get WAY more than should be gotten out of a stupid comedy story and I could actually go with these teams going somewhere else.
The other pre-show match is the definition of “here’s a match thrown together for the sake of making this show even longer” as the Dudley Boys face the Lucha Dragons. It’s really sad to see the Dragons thrown back together after Kalisto lost his US Title and the writers threw him out of their crib like they do with all of their new toys.
I guess we’ll go with the Dragons here because…..well because they were heads when I flipped a coin in my head. There’s really no reason for either team to go over the other so yeah we’ll pick the Dragons with at least a 50% confidence rate. This really feels like background noise while you’re getting your pizza ready for the main show and that really doesn’t need to happen, especially when you already have a pre-show match with so little importance.
Now on to the main card and we’ll start with the four way for the Tag Team Titles as New Day defends against the Vaudevillains, the Club and Enzo Amore/Big Cass. In theory this is the Club’s match to lose but the more I think about it, the more I think that they’re going to let New Day break the record for the titles, which they would by the time Battleground rolls around.
So yeah I think New Day escapes here to set up the big showdown with the Club, though again Club could wind up pulling it off here. I think we can forget the idea of Enzo/Cass or the Vaudevillains getting the titles here though I can go with the idea of the other two teams being added on to save the big showdown for later. As easily as I could see the Club getting the belts, I’ll go with New Day surviving one more month and getting the record before dropping them at Battleground.
I’m sorry for being so back and forth with the picks here but it’s that kind of a card. That’s not a bad thing either.
In another match that doesn’t need to exist, we have Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler yet again because this is what you do with a young name after you bring him up and give him a big win at Wrestlemania: give him the exact same match over and over again with no one getting anywhere as a result.
In theory this should go to Corbin in what better be this final match of the feud. I can barely remember why they’re fighting at this point because they’re in the horrible trap of “well we’ve been fighting for a long time now so let’s just keep fighting”. Ziggler has nothing to lose at this point but Corbin could move on to fighting for a midcard title after this feud so there’s really no reason to not go with Corbin. Yeah Corbin and I’m moving on to the next match before I can change my mind again.
Next up we have what should be a squash in a title match with Rusev beating the barks out of Titus O’Neil. I know he’s like the best father ever or whatever that nothing award they gave him was and the show is on Father’s Day but I can’t imagine they put Titus, who hasn’t actually won a match on Raw or Smackdown since February. Of course that’s enough for a title shot, mainly because Jack Swagger is too busy in theory.
So yeah, Rusev wins here and absolutely crushes Titus while Lana stands around looking hot. I’m not looking forward to this but it’s better than watching Rusev squash Kalisto all over again. They really need to actually have someone built up to challenge him instead of just picking someone off the roster and letting Rusev crush them on pay per view. Still though, at least Titus’ energy should help carry some of the match.
In a match I’m actually looking forward to, Apollo Crews will be facing Sheamus in his first major match in the company. This is your standard “I’m big and you’re small” match and that’s a style that is almost always going to work no matter what you do. Again there’s no reason for Crews to lose as Sheamus has the ability and the resume to pop back up after anything that happens to him. Crews wins here and there’s no reason for Sheamus to even be considered.
One more match before we get to the big stuff as we look at the women’s tag match. What in the world has happened to this division since Wrestlemania? The triple threat there was an absolute spectacle but this never ending Charlotte vs. Natalya feud while the fans are just waiting for Sasha to come out there and take the title has completely burned through all of the momentum they had built up. The wrestling is definitely better and it’s a lot more entertaining than it was but there’s no fire to the matches and that’s not a good thing.
I’ll go with Charlotte/Dana over Becky/Natalya because the latter two are just not allowed to win a big match no matter what they do. There’s no need for this feud to continue but it seems like we’re waiting for August to actually have Sasha come in and win the title she should have gotten at Wrestlemania in the first place. Either way it’s time for some fresh energy (not blood, which is a different thing) in the division, which shouldn’t be the case after one of the best women’s matches in American history just two and a half months ago.
Now we get to the important stuff and we’ll start with probably the least important of the three main events as Seth Rollins faces Roman Reigns. To say this one is confusing is an understatement as Rollins was built up as the sympathetic face with the big documentary and returned to the big face pop at Extreme Rules. On the other hand you have Roman Reigns who certainly does have his fans but is being pushed as one of the awkward faces in history despite being a natural heel while getting booed out of several buildings around the country.
The thing is, there’s almost no way this is going to be the last match between the two, but possibly more importantly it’s going to be the last time they might be on pay per view on the same brand. I’m almost sure there’s not going to be a cash-in but I’d bet on a DQ or countout finish here with Reigns holding onto the belt. Rollins will probably need some more seasoning before being put back on top of the card, but this should be one heck of a match as Reigns is always good to great once the bell rings.
Next up we have the namesake match with Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho and Alberto Del Rio in the Money in the Bank ladder match. In another instance of me having almost no idea who is winning here, this match is basically a pick em save for Alberto who should have as much chance of winning this match as I do of winning Miss Nevada 1973.
I think I’m going with Owens, who would be the best choice for the briefcase long term for the promos alone. Ambrose is a real option too but I can’t really picture them going with him actually winning a big match. The same is true of Cesaro and it’s too early for Sami. There’s a slight chance to get it on Jericho, who they’ve talked about as never winning the match he’s created. Of course that would be ridiculous and not really help anyone but that didn’t stop them at Wrestlemania. I’ll stick with Owens here but Jericho is a dark horse. Oh and one last thing: well done on keeping it at six. For once I can remember everyone involved.
That leaves us with the main event and sweet goodness this should be fun. There aren’t many actual dream matches out there but AJ vs. Cena really is one of them. The buildup has been excellent with that contract signing more than pushing me over the top, which really wasn’t hard after the setup.
I’m not sure what else there is to say here as it’s AJ Styles vs. John Cena in a featured match on a WWE pay per view. I’ll take AJ to win in a masterpiece to set up a bunch of rematches down the line which is fine. Yeah Cena would lose in his big comeback match but it makes the most sense here, meaning it’s more than likely to be wrong. The thing is there’s no wrong answer here and that’s a good sign going into tomorrow night.
It’s a rare thing but I actually got more excited for the show going through the preview. This really is one of the most stacked cards I’ve seen in a very long time and it has the potential to be some incredible stuff. Maybe not the best Money in the Bank ever but it’s going to be a heck of a night of wrestling and that’s what these shows should be. Pay per views are almost always awesome these days and I see no reason why that trend won’t continue here.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Smackdown Date: June 16, 2016
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It’s the final show before Money in the Bank so just set up the big six man main event already. This week’s Raw had some strong story building moments for the coming pay per view but the go home Smackdowns can be all over the place quality wise. Hopefully they don’t just bore us with nothing matches that don’t fire up the fans for Sunday. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Chris Jericho in the ring for the Highlight Reel. Jericho says quiet about seventeen times and unveils the new Jeritron 6500 and the new $2000 carpet. He promises to win Money in the Bank because he created it (“You’re welcome.”). Tonight his guest is Dean Ambrose, even though Jericho hates him. Dean comes out with a cup of coffee but first we have to look at the clip of the Ambrose Asylum on Monday. Jericho isn’t cool with the coffee because this carpet is made of Serengeti yak hair. Dean’s coffee is like the Gift of Jericho man. He’s just drinking it in.
Jericho says Dean won’t be Shawn Michaels tonight and shove his head through the screen so Dean’s Jeritron privileges are revoked. Actually everyone has so raise the screen. Chris brings up the thumbtacks and says the holes don’t combine to equal the hole left in Dean’s spirit by never being World Heavyweight Champion. Dean isn’t winning the briefcase or the title on Sunday but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt. That case is HIS and he might cash in at any time.
Cue Del Rio to speak Spanish and say no one understands how this works except for him but here’s Cesaro to interrupt as well. Nothing is said before Sami cuts them off and announces tonight’s six man, triggering an argument with Cesaro over the interruption. Jericho calls them stupid idiots and says they’ll win tonight so Dean pours the coffee on the carpet to start the brawl.
Kofi Kingston vs. Aiden English vs. Luke Gallows vs. Big Cass
Enzo’s entrance is cut off by New Day and that’s not cool. I guess New Day are haters now? Other than Kofi riding in on Big E.’s shoulders, there’s no special entrance from New Day. Enzo and Woods are sitting in on commentary. Gallows powerbombs Kofi to start but Cass clotheslines Luke down and knocks Aiden outside as well. The Club gets Cass to the floor and sends him into the barricade as the guest commentators both get up and we take a break.
Back with Aiden and Gallows taking turns beating on Kofi before naturally fighting over who gets the pin. Cass breaks up what looks like a Doomsday Device with big boots and clotheslines all around. Gotch tries to interfere but Gallows pulls Cass to the floor. Kingston dives off the top to take out Gallows and Cass, followed by Big E. running over Gotch. Back inside it’s Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise for the pin on English at 7:44.
Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Kofi winning isn’t exactly a great sign for New Day’s reign going forward. The Club winning the titles makes the most sense which is probably why the Vaudevillains will win the titles. I’m really hoping they don’t split up New Day or Enzo/Cass in the Draft but leave it to WWE to go with the worst possibly choices.
Natalya and Becky Lynch are ready for their tag match on Sunday and insist that the truth is out there: Charlotte can’t win a match on her own. Dana and Charlotte come in so bickering can ensue.
Baron Corbin vs. Zack Ryder
Dolph Ziggler is on commentary. Corbin chokes to start but goes outside to yell at Ziggler, allowing Ryder to get in a dropkick off the apron. The Broski Boot gets two (on Baron if that wasn’t clear) but End of Days wraps Ryder up at 1:46.
Corbin walks away from a fight with Ziggler post match.
Rusev vs. Kalisto
Non-title and Lana does Rusev’s intro. They show Rusev beating Titus O’Neal down on Raw to basically guarantee the post match shenanigans. Kalisto gets jumped during the entrances and put in the Accolade. No match.
Sin Cara tries to make a save and gets the same treatment. Titus runs in for the save and cleans house.
Recap of the Styles vs. Cena contract signing.
AJ Styles says he’ll prove he can win on his own this Sunday. New Day comes in to laugh at AJ’s lack of style and a match is set up between Woods vs. Styles.
Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles
No seconds at ringside. Feeling out process to start with AJ sending Woods off the ropes and saying Xavier can’t see him. AJ cranks on a wristlock and says he does this better than Cena. Woods comes back with a strike to the forehead, only to have AJ chop block him down. AJ takes his time to let the referee check on Woods, who catches AJ with a jumping knee to the head. The Pele drops Woods for two though and it’s off to the chinlock.
Woods finally gets up and grabs an O’Connor Roll for two, only to get caught in a backbreaker. We take a break and come back with Xavier punching his way out of a superplex and getting two off a high cross body. A reverse suplex drops Styles and a discus forearm puts him on the floor. Woods follows him out with a big flip dive before walking across the top rope for a LONG elbow drop and a near fall. AJ escapes a superplex and scores with the Phenomenal Forearm setting up the Calf Crusher (Styles: “THIS IS WHAT I’M GOING TO DO TO JOHN CENA!”) for the tap out at 12:21.
Rating: B-. Woods can go when he wants to but most of the time he’s just there for comic relief. Granted it might have helped that the match was against AJ Styles and Woods only had to do the basics to get through this one. The ending made perfect sense as they set up the injury at the beginning and then paid it off at the end. Why is that so complicated?
Post match AJ says that’s just a taste of what Cena is getting when his time is up.
This week’s lesson with Bob Backlund is about Darren Young reading more. Bob says they’re like dumbbells for the brain but Backlund doesn’t like the idea of Darren taking advice from anyone, including Backlund himself. That’s because Backlund doesn’t give advice. Instead he gives orders, like 100 high knees right now.
Natalya vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Becky and Dana at ringside. Charlotte takes it to the mat with a headlock which is countered into a headscissors. The hold is quickly broken but Natalya breaks up the strut. Charlotte gets caught in a surfboard but it’s too early for the Sharpshooter. Natalya will have none of this waiting on the floor and takes Charlotte out with a baseball slide. Dana offers a distraction though, allowing Charlotte to kick Natalya in the face to take over. The advantage doesn’t last long though as Natalya throws her over with a German suplex for two.
Nattie By Nature gets two as the announcers talk about video games. Lawler: “The only video game you should be talking about is WWE2K16.” That’s some veteran shilling. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two, only to have Dana hold up the title as a distraction. Becky and Dana slug it out and Charlotte chop blocks Natalya, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 5:48.
Rating: C+. I’m not sure how this is supposed to help set up Sunday but I’m not really sure why these women are still fighting. You would think Natalya losing like five matches to Charlotte would be enough to end the feud but let’s just keep it going anyway. It’s not like there’s anyone else around to challenge for the title. One last note: I’d like to point out that the loss to Paige on Monday seems to mean absolutely nothing, barring a surprise Paige title shot coming up after Money in the Bank.
Long video on Roman vs. Rollins.
Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn/Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens
It’s a big brawl to start until Del Rio and Cesaro are left alone in the ring. Alberto misses the corner enziguri but still lands on Cesaro’s back. That means it’s time for the uppercut train (and Mauro’s uppercut party line) before Del Rio avoids the Codebreaker to the arm. Cesaro can’t hook the Swing though and has to settle for a flip dive off the apron. The running European uppercut sends Jericho into the timekeeper’s area.
Del Rio gets one as well and Cesaro stays on him with a high cross body for two. Cesaro Swings all three heels with Jericho getting the last one and a Sharpshooter to go with it. Jericho taps but isn’t legal, allowing Del Rio to superkick Cesaro down for two as we take a break. Back with Jericho posing over a fallen Cesaro before handing it off to Owens for a stomping in the corner. Del Rio tags himself in to hammer Cesaro even more, only to get dropkicked off the top and out to the floor.
The hot tag brings in Sami to take on Jericho as everything breaks down. Sami’s high cross body gets two but Owens gets in a cheap shot to let Jericho take over. That means a long and obvious spot call in the corner until Sami gets in a clothesline to set up the hot tag to Dean. Everything breaks down again and Dean sends Del Rio to the floor for the suicide dive.
The standing elbow misses though and Alberto gets two off a Backstabber. Dirty Deeds is broken up and it’s Cesaro cleaning house with uppercuts, including one to Ambrose. Del Rio tags out to Owens, earning himself a superkick. Jericho gets one from Owens as well, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin on Kevin at 13:50.
Rating: C+. This was exactly what I was expecting but that’s to be expected when you do the same building process year after year. It’s a fine Smackdown main event with enough good action and a grand total of almost no storyline advancement. In other words: a big part of why no one watches Smackdown at the moment.
Overall Rating: C. You can feel the show being stuck in a holding pattern until we get to the Brand Split and Smackdown possibly starts meaning anything again. This didn’t do anything to make me want to see Sunday’s show but Raw already took care of most of that. The show wasn’t bad or anything but it was so horribly average with nothing memorable whatsoever. If this doesn’t change after the split, this show is in major trouble.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Big Cass, Aiden English and Luke Gallows – Trouble in Paradise to English
Baron Corbin b. Zack Ryder – End of Days
AJ Styles b. Xavier Woods – Calf Crusher
Charlotte b. Natalya – Figure Eight
Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio – Dirty Deeds to Owens
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – June 13, 2016: Someone Give Me A Good Title For A Strong Go Home Show
Monday Night Raw Date: June 13, 2016
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank so it’s hard to say how much will actually happen this week. In this case we’ll have the buildup to the actual ladder match but one of the participants will be crossing over to the main event as well as Dean Ambrose hosts a special Ambrose Asylum with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We have a moment of silence for Orlando.
Here’s New Day to get things going. During their entrance we see a sign in the crowd reading “The guy behind me can’t see.” That actually made me groan and furthers my loathing of most wrestling fans. They talk about the upcoming four way but stop to make fun of Kofi for wearing the new Steph Curry shoes, which apparently look old. Kofi: “These shoes are hot on the streets!” Woods: “What streets? The streets of Greenwich, Connecticut?” Kofi: “Those are some mean streets.” They promise to keep the titles but here are Enzo and Big Cass to interrupt.
Cass says they’re going all in on Sunday and walking out with the titles. He implies that the unicorn horns are made for her pleasure and asks if Kofi is serious with the Jerry Seinfeld shoes. After New Day makes fun of the shoes as well, Cass wants to talk about Francesca. Woods: “That’s my girl.” Cass: “Well where was your girl last night?” Apparently she was with Enzo, who had his lips all over her like Satchmo.
Woods gets very serious and says he’s the only one who blows his girl. Kofi introduces the verbal joust of wits between New Day and Enzo/Big Cass but the Vaudevillains interrupt. English sings about how the new era but Anderson and Gallows cut them off. Gallows makes fun of the New Orleans Saints so Cass calls them S-A-W-F-T.
New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club/Vaudevillains
This is joined in progress with Kofi working over Gotch before bringing in Big E. for the Unicorn Stampede. Cass throws in some elbows before Enzo tags himself in so Cass can throw him at Gotch. English shoves Gotch out of the way of a high cross body, only to have Gotch run Amore over. It’s time for Enzo to take a beating as all of the villains take a shot at him. English gets kicked out to the floor though and a kick to the chest is enough for the hot tag off to Cass as everything breaks down. Kofi dives on everyone and we take a break.
Back with Big E. in trouble but countering a sunset flip and dropping Gotch with an elbow to the jaw. Gallows gets in a clothesline though and Big E. is in trouble again. The Vaudevillains chop away before it’s off to Karl for a kick to the face in the corner. Big E. gets in a shot to the ribs though and it’s off to Kofi as things speed up again. A high cross body gets two on Anderson as Enzo and Gotch are sent out to the floor. English does the same to Cass, only to have Big E. LAUNCH him with a belly to belly. Gallows comes in off a blind tag and the Magic Killer puts Kingston away at 13:26.
Rating: C+. That break in the middle hurt this a lot as it felt like nothing more than a way to fill in time rather than something that the match actually needed. That being said, Kofi was on fire here, which is why he just had to take the pin. Big E. or Enzo were available, though they were smart to keep Cass looking strong as he’s possibly the biggest prospect in the whole match.
We look back at the debut of the Shield at Survivor Series 2012 to help set up the Ambrose Asylum later tonight.
Bob Backlund/Darren Young segment from Smackdown with Backlund telling him to save money, including only having one pair of clothes.
Shane and Stephanie are bickering over who should run Raw and/or Smackdown when Kane comes in to offer his services. He has a resume and a letter of recommendation from Undertaker so Stephanie lets Shane handle this one.
Zack Ryder is laughing with some random people about Apollo Crews knocking Sheamus down on Smackdown. Sheamus comes in and says he’ll beat Ryder up tonight, just like he’ll do to Crews on Sunday. Ryder says hi to Crews…..who isn’t there, allowing Ryder to run away like any former United States and Intercontinental Champion would do.
Clip of Shield’s face turn.
The Shining Stars brag about Puerto Rico’s water. How is this supposed to make money?
Titus O’Neil comes out for a match but Rusev jumps him from behind and beats him down on the stage. The referees have to come out and break the Accolade.
Clip of Shield breaking up. So to recap: they arrived, they turned face, and they split with nothing in between.
It’s time for the Ambrose Asylum with special guests Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. Before they come out though, Ambrose says he feels like he’s just woken up from a coma because this Sunday feels like Wrestlemania. There are two major matches and we’re focusing on one of them here. Therefore, let’s bring out his first guest, the scum of the Earth, Seth Rollins.
Reigns is brought out as well and we get the big visual of the three of them standing there. Ambrose: “This is great huh?” He asks Rollins about the knee and Rollins is stunned that Ambrose hasn’t watched his special on the WWE Network (he should because it’s awesome). Dean thinks Seth’s face must be hurt because it’s killing him. Reigns on the other hand had a great time on Bourbon Street last night.
Dean wants Rollins to calm down and stop being a party pooper. After the party pooper chant dies off, Rollins lists off some fun moments they’ve had like Wrestlemania XXX, flying in on a helicopter to fight Undertaker and HELL NO in London and finding Dean unconscious next to a dumpster in…..what town was that? Seth brings up the matches against Evolution and we get a BLUETISTA chant.
Rollins gets to the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in and violence starts boiling over. Dean breaks it up and says Reigns beat Ambrose for that title in the first place. Yeah Reigns accomplished a lot in Rollins’ absence but he’s never beaten Seth one on one. Rollins rants about how he’s going to get the title back on his own but Dean laughs the idea off. Reigns actually says Rollins is right because it’s going to be one on one Sunday and then they’ll call him the guy because he beat Seth. Dean asks the fans which one it’s going to be but offers a third option: he wins the Money in the Bank contract and cashes in on either of them.
The music plays and the brawl is on with Reigns throwing Dean away so he can beat Seth up himself. That earns Seth a Superman Punch but Dean gives Reigns Dirty Deeds because that’s what friends do to each other. Ambrose looks up at the briefcase and the fans seem to like the idea.
Back from a break and Stephanie makes Ambrose vs. Jericho for the main event. Over the weekend I made a comment about how Smackdown is worthless because the matches mean nothing and there’s a good chance that they’ll just repeat a match on Monday anyway and I had a feeling it would be this one because it’s the one that didn’t need to happen again.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Natalya and Becky Lynch are at ringside. Non-title and the second match of the show starts an hour and twenty one minutes in. Paige runs her over with a knee to start but gets small packaged for two. Charlotte yells at Natalya and walks into the Rampaige for the pin at 2:31. I’m not even going to bother getting mad about this.
Cesaro is about to talk about Money in the Bank when Sami Zayn comes in to give the real answers. Cesaro is ticked off and says Sami is acting like a child but Sami says Cesaro can’t talk down to him like this. Apparently they’re in the same match tonight so Cesaro says he’ll see him out there.
Charlotte yells at Dana for failing and implies that Dana is her assistant. Dana is of course mad but Charlotte says her payment is to be part of Charlotte’s legacy.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
This is the second match in a row with no entrances, likely for the sake of more backstage stuff. Sheamus attacks early to start but gets caught by a quick dropkick and the Broski Boot. The Elbro gets two but the Rough Ryder is easily blocked. The Brogue Kick puts Ryder away at 1:53.
Sheamus beats him up even more until Crews runs out for the save.
We get a video of Kane winning Money in the Bank in 2010 and cashing in the same night.
Kevin Owens interrupts Kane and Shane’s talk but he wants to talk to Stephanie. Apparently Alberto Del Rio just arrived twenty minutes ago and should be taken out of the Money in the Bank match as a punishment. Del Rio, already in his gear, comes in to blame Owens for calling airport security to get him delayed for five hours. They start yelling in Spanish and French until Kane cuts them off with an idea. How about a tag match against the Lucha Dragons with the winners getting the spot in the ladder match? Shane likes the idea and makes the match.
Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro
Feeling out process to start with Cesaro nipping up out of a wristlock but getting armdragged right back down. A nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Sami for and Cesaro sends him into the post as we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting a corner uppercut and stomping on Sami’s chest for two. A quick Michinoku Driver gets two for Sami but he takes too long going to the top, allowing Cesaro to power through the apron superplex for another near fall. Back up and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two, followed by the sunset bomb for…..actually for three on Cesaro at 8:06.
Rating: C+. That’s one of the few booking ideas I’ve seen tonight that I really like. Sami (and a lot of other people) have those big moves that never win anything so it’s a really good idea to have one get a pin every now and then to make you believe that it could get another one later. The loss doesn’t hurt Cesaro either as none of these wins really mean anything heading into the big gimmick match.
It’s time for the contract signing between John Cena and AJ Styles as moderated by Michael Cole. Cena hypes up Money in the Bank as a show bigger than Wrestlemania with a match fifteen years in the making. For years, the WWE bosses had told AJ Styles that he didn’t belong here. That’s nonsense because from PWG to New Japan to Ring of Honor, AJ Styles has been the best everywhere he’s gone. Sidebar: Is there any real reason why they won’t say TNA? Ring of Honor is arguably bigger and New Japan is definitely bigger but TNA isn’t allowed? Unless there’s some legal reason, I see no logical justification for not saying it.
Anyway Cena tells Cole to leave because this is going to get rowdy. AJ comes out and says he’s turned Cena’s world upside down. Cena agrees that it’s been done but there’s something up his sleeve. There are two contracts here, one of which says John Cena vs. AJ Styles and the other which says John Cena vs. AJ Styles w/The Club. Cena would love to sign the first one so we can have one heck of a fight on Sunday but if they sign the second one, AJ will win on Sunday and then start complaining the very next night when he doesn’t get the same respect.
AJ thinks Cena is so confident because of all the things he’s won but Styles wants to know what would have happened if AJ had been here fifteen years ago. My guess is not much because he still would have been a nothing tag guy but I get his point. AJ says he would have been the one on the covers of magazines and in all the movies. Cena cuts him off and says he’s heard this before and AJ doesn’t get it because he has the chance to prove it on Sunday.
AJ can sign one contract and prove how great he is or sign the other one and be put on a bullet train back to Japan because that’s where he left his balls. AJ grabs a pen and looks at the contracts before signing the one on one version. Styles says after Sunday, Cena’s time is up. As usual, this was AWESOME stuff.
We see Randy Orton winning Money in the Bank in 2013 and cashing in on Daniel Bryan at Summerslam.
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio vs. Lucha Dragons
The winners are in Money in the Bank. Del Rio beats on Kalisto to start before it’s off to Owens who isn’t happy with the way Alberto is acting, only to calm down at the threat of a DQ. Owens teases walking out but comes back in when Alberto is rolled up for two. Kevin and Alberto get in a shoving match and get dropkicked to the floor, setting up a double dive from the Dragons as we take a break.
Back with Kalisto eating a clothesline but Del Rio won’t tag out. Owens and Alberto get in another argument, allowing Kalisto to hit a quick Salida Del Sol to send Del Rio outside. Kevin throws his partner back in and it’s off to Sin Cara for the Swanton, only to have Owens breaks it up at two. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Cara at 8:15.
Rating: C. I liked the idea of having something on the line here. Of course it wasn’t going to happen but it was nice to have a reason to care about the match. The Dragons are just so nothing these days and it’s sad to see the promise that Kalisto showed wasted as much as it has been.
Del Rio superkicks Owens post match.
Back from a break with Owens telling Stephanie that Sami Zayn is going to be on commentary for the main event. Stephanie is furious because that’s something so horrible so she makes Owens a commentator as well. Del Rio comes in and says he wants to be out there too so Stephanie makes him guest timekeeper.
Stephanie yells at Shane about his decisions so Shane makes Cesaro guest ring announcer. On another note, Kane isn’t getting the job running Smackdown. Kane comes in and asks if this is about electrocuting Shane’s testicles with a car batters. Shane tells Stephanie they’ll keep running Raw but he’ll run Smackdown on his own. This is getting old in a hurry and it’s only going to get worse.
Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
All of the other Money in the Bank participants are at ringside. Dean chops him down to start and scores with a quick suplex. Jericho is sent to the floor for a suicide dive before Dean knocks Owens’ headset off. Back in and Dean flips out of a Walls attempt but eats an enziguri. The corner dropkick puts Dean on the floor and it’s time for the announcers, timekeeper and ring announcer to stare at each other.
We come back from a break with Dean fighting out of a chinlock. Some clotheslines stun Jericho but he counters the top rope standing elbow drop into the Walls. Owens: “I taught him that!” Dean grabs the ropes but can’t get Dirty Deeds. Instead Jericho takes him down for two off the Lionsault, only to have Dean get up top for the elbow.
Byron asks how Kevin would handle not winning Sunday. Owens: “I would handle it the same way: I would come out here and slap your face.” Dean tries to put on the Walls but settles for a catapult out to the apron. Jericho runs to the top but dives into a kick, only to have the Codebreaker countered into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 11:58.
Rating: C. This would be the standard reversal of the match we saw on Smackdown because that’s what Smackdown is for: a dry run for the following Raw without any mention of the first match. It doesn’t help that these two have fought WAY too many times and it’s getting less and less interesting every single time.
Everyone brawls after the match with Owens bringing in a ladder, only to have Sami flip dive off the top onto the pile of people. Jericho wasn’t in that group though and goes up the ladder to pull down the briefcase to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling (and lack thereof at times) brings down what was an otherwise very strong show with two excellent talking segments. I’m more invested in the pay per view than I was coming in and that’s the point of a go home show. The Cena vs. AJ stuff was excellent as Cena is still the best hard seller in the business and the Shield segment made things feel more personal, especially with Dean at the end to add some flavor. As has been the case so many times, if this was a two hour show, it would have been one of the best in a long time. As it is though, it’s still good enough.
Results
The Club/Vaudevillains b. New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Magic Killer to Kingston
Paige b. Charlotte – Rampaige
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder – Brogue Kick
Sami Zayn b. Cesaro – Sunset Bomb
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio b. Lucha Dragons – Pop Up Powerbomb to Cara
Dean Ambrose b. Chris Jericho – Dirty Deeds
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Smackdown Date: June 9, 2016
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton
We’re pretty much at business as usual here as Money in the Bank is a week from Sunday and most of the big stories are starting to round into form. AJ Styles is going after John Cena, the Tag Team Titles are in a big mess of a match and we’ll see yet another combination of the six Money in the Bank participants tonight because just having them be announced over time isn’t an option for whatever reason. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the Club to get things going. AJ talks about how this Money in the Bank may be the best ever with the Club winning the Tag Team Titles and AJ himself taking care of John Cena. For ten years it’s been the John Cena Era and the New Era can’t really get started until he takes Cena out. When he came to WWE in the first place, he made it clear that the Club was a package deal. The Club has transcended countries, continents and companies. As for Cena, you can’t beat him.
Cue Enzo and Big Cass with the latter reminding AJ that there are two other teams going after the Tag Team Titles. The Mr. Clean Dream Team isn’t taking those belts but Karl says they’ve been traveling the world for ten years while Enzo was managing a Hooters. Enzo basically says “Well yeah. What’s wrong with that?” before saying the Club has wrestled everywhere but Antarctica.
Enzo would love to walk a mile in Karl’s shoes because then he’d be a mile away from him. The last time Enzo and Cass had a big match, Enzo fell asleep on the job. Enzo thinks that makes them a couple of haters so in Vegas, money will talk and money will walk. That makes Anderson and Gallows S-A-W-F-T.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
New Day is on commentary with Woods eating BootyO’s and Big E. holding a broom. Anderson runs Cass over a few times to start before it’s off to Gallows for a big boot. For some reason this makes New Day talk about pasta. The Enzo beating continues as Kofi puts Byron on grape duty, meaning he has to feed Kofi grapes on demand. Anderson throws him down to stop a tag attempt, making Kofi think Enzo should switch to Alfredo instead of the marinara.
Big E. does his nerdy commentator voice as Enzo Stuns Anderson over the top rope. A diving tag attempt is stopped by a running boot to the head as the Vaudevillains come out to watch. Back from a break with Gallows suplexing Enzo for two as the fans chant for Cass. Amore punches away but is shoved away, only to get caught by the jumping DDT. Now it’s the hot tag to Cass as house is quickly cleaned. A very big boot puts Gallows on the floor as New Day gets up to cut off the Vaudevillains. They all get in the ring and that’s a no contest at 10:54.
Rating: C. Cass continues to look like the biggest star out of all these guys and that big boot was awesome. I really can’t imagine the New Day keeps the titles after Money in the Bank and the Club would be the logical way to go with the belts. Enzo and Cass are hot right now though and you would have to expect Cass to get a big singles push soon.
Enzo and Cass clear the ring post match.
We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho, who will be facing each other tonight, focusing on the battle over the talk shows.
Muhammad Ali tribute.
The announcers talk about the Money in the Bank card.
Lana and Rusev aren’t worried about Titus O’Neil because Rusev is the real greatest of all time instead of Muhammad Ali. Titus comes in and says he’ll take the title at Money in the Bank by floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.
Cesaro/Sami Zayn vs. Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens
Sami and Owens start things off with Zayn spinning him around and sending him into the corner for a tag off to Del Rio. That’s fine with Alberto who kicks Sami’s leg out but lets the tag bring in Cesaro. Alberto takes over and asks Owens for a tag but Kevin says Del Rio is doing fine by himself and walks out. Sami chases him up the ramp so we’re down to a singles match.
A shot to the back puts Del Rio on the floor and it’s time for a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a Backstabber. We hit the chinlock but Cesaro is up in less than five seconds. Well he’s certainly not lazy at least. Cesaro muscles him up into a suplex as Sami and Kevin fight back down the aisle. Del Rio isn’t cool with Owens walking out on him and now it’s Alberto walking out. Owens won’t let that happen so Sami dives over the top to take him out, leaving Cesaro to suplex Del Rio on the floor.
Back in and Del Rio starts in on the arm but can’t get the armbreaker. Everything breaks down and Swiss Death drops Del Rio again. Owens and Zayn are sent outside again, leaving Del Rio to take the Swing. Owens breaks up the Sharpshooter and crotches Cesaro on top, setting up the top rope double stomp from Del Rio, only to have Owens throw his partner out and steal the pin at 13:29.
Rating: C+. I’m normally not a fan of the way the build towards Money in the Bank goes but this was kind of a creative way to do more than just another tag match. I’m sure we’ll see something else like that next week because there’s almost no way around seeing those matches over and over but at least this was something fresher. The wrestling is all fine and having only six people keeps the match from being such a mess but a change to the build could be an improvement.
We look at Jericho destroying Mitch.
Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya and Charlotte are at ringside. Dana immediately bails to the ropes but Becky snaps off some armdrags to send her outside. Back in and Lynch misses a charge, allowing Charlotte to get in a forearm like a good heel should. Becky comes back with a kick to the ribs but she has to go after Charlotte, triggering a brawl between Charlotte and Natalya on the floor. That earns them both an ejection, leaving Becky to make Dana tap with the Disarm-Her at 3:04.
Rating: C-. You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to them actually announcing the women’s match for the pay per view. I’m assuming it’s going to be a fatal fourway or a non-title tag match (which actually fits for a change) but anything is better than another Natalya title shot. Whatever gets us past this and on to Sasha FINALLY getting her title shot would be a good idea though.
Bob Backlund asks to see Darren Young’s victory celebration. Young starts doing the Millions of Dollars dance but Bob tells him to bring it back down to earth. Backlund tells him to save money, which Darren interprets as not going to the movies and no popcorn. Darren asks how Bob saves so much money, which apparently is all about wearing only one set of clothes. Young agrees to cut down on the shopping. Backlund: “How do you feel about a bow tie?”
Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto
Dolph Ziggler is on commentary because this thing just won’t die. Kalisto is still listed as one half of the Lucha Dragons despite them almost never teaming together anymore. Some quick kicks put Corbin on the floor to start but he shrugs off even more kicks and tosses Kalisto onto the barricade to take over.
We get the staredown with Ziggler, who says he’d love to take off his jeggings and get right in there. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Kalisto for a bit before he comes back with the corkscrew cross body. The headscissors driver gets two but Corbin just blasts him in the back of the head. End of Days puts Kalisto away at 3:45.
Rating: C. You can definitely add Kalisto to the long list of people who started fast until the company got bored with him and threw him to the side for their new favorite toy. The match was your normal boring stuff as Ziggler vs. Corbin is a feud that needed to wrap up two months ago but for some reason the thing just keeps going.
We look at Ambrose ripping up Jericho’s jacket. This feud really isn’t big enough to warrant this kind of attention.
Another chat about AJ Styles vs. John Cena with Lawler telling a story about having to face the top ten contenders in order to get a shot at NWA World Champion Jack Brisco. Why can’t we hear those stories more often?
Sheamus brags about the success of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Zack Ryder/Golden Truth aren’t all that impressed. Apollo Crews (Remember him?) comes in and Sheamus suggests that Crews get him a latte. Sheamus gets knocked through some well placed boxes.
Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
Ranallo says this is the first time these two have ever fought on Smackdown. Why is that supposed to be something interesting or appealing? I’ve never gotten that concept. Jericho shouts about the thumb tacks Dean put into his back and the chase is on outside. Back in and Dean strikes away, only to get clotheslined down. That means it’s time to yell about the tacks even more but a clothesline puts Jericho outside for the suicide shove.
Dean loads up the announcers’ table for Dirty Deeds but gets catapulted onto the floor for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Jericho suplexing him for an arrogant two, followed by the chinlock. Dean’s comeback is stopped with a clothesline and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Another comeback attempt works a bit better as Dean scores with a clothesline and elbows but Dirty Deeds is countered into a failed Walls attempt.
Jericho dives into a forearm to the jaw for two but comes back with a middle rope enziguri (looked like a missed dropkick) for two of his own. Dean breaks up a superplex attempt and grabs la majistral for two more before both guys collide to put them down. The Codebreaker and Dirty Deeds are broken up but Dean has to stop himself from running into the referee, allowing Jericho to grab a one legged Codebreaker for the pin at 13:46.
Rating: B-. Well so much for Dean’s hot streak. The match was fine but that cage match destroyed a lot of my interest in this feud. Jericho only has so much interest these days and it makes sense to have him win a match here or there since he has almost no chance of winning the ladder match. Then again that’s what people were saying before he fought AJ at Wrestlemania.
Post match Jericho grabs a ladder but gets sent face first into it for his efforts. The standing elbow drop from the ladder crushes Jericho to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Totally run of the mill Smackdown here as it was missing most of what I liked about the show last week. Most of the Money in the Bank card (which is looking stacked) is set so this was a bunch of supplemental material. To be fair though, we’re five weeks away from the end of Smackdown before it gets turned into something new, which hopefully turns the thing around for a change.
Results
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson went to a no contest when New Day and the Vaudevillains interfered
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio b. Sami Zayn/Cesaro – Top rope double stomp to Cesaro
Becky Lynch b. Dana Brooke – Disarm-Her
Baron Corbin b. Kalisto – End of Days
Chris Jericho b. Dean Ambrose – Codebreaker
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – June 6, 2016: My Least Favorite Time Of The Year
Monday Night Raw Date: June 6, 2016
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
As we head into June, the big story is AJ Styles vs. John Cena as Styles rejoined his Club buddies to attack the returning Cena last week. A match at Money in the Bank has already been signed and it should be interesting to see the big time promos leading up to the match at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.
We open with Dean Ambrose coming to the ring to join the rest of the Money in the Bank participants, all of whom are sitting on top of a ladder. Owens says he doesn’t need to be introduced because he’s already more famous than everyone else. Some insults are thrown out with Owens cutting off Jericho because Jericho says the same thing every week. He’ll win the Money in the Bank contract and give title shots to anyone who wants one, from Jean-Pierre Lafitte to Waylon Mercy to the Four Horsemen to anyone else you can see on the WWE Network (“There’s your plug.”).
Sami says he’s willing to fight anyone on the roster but Dean just wants to get to the fighting. Jericho brags about winning one of these before but Sami asks where the match was. Jericho: “Apple. Appleton. The Big Apple. It was in Stupid Idiotville!” The fight finally breaks out but TEDDY LONG returns to cut it off. He wants to take the longest weekly wrestling show (he butchers the names, meaning he’s probably fired) and make this a sixty minute iron man no DQ fatal fourway match and there must be a winner.
Cue Stephanie to say that made no sense but Teddy says he wants to run Smackdown. Stephanie says no so Teddy wants to see Shane. Well Shane isn’t here tonight so Stephanie tells Teddy to get to steppin. Ah so she’s a witchy heel tonight instead of the friendly one like she was last week. Just pick one of them already. She makes singles matches for the night, starting with Jericho vs. Cesaro for after the break.
Cesaro vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho grabs a wristlock to start but Cesaro keeps nipping up, befuzzling Jericho so much that he can just stand there watching. Cesaro powerslams Jericho for two before the big uppercut knocks Jericho outside. Jericho dropkicks him out of the air though and we take a break less than three minutes in.
Back with Cesaro firing off the uppercuts to send Jericho into the corner followed by one to knock Chris out of the air for two. The springboard uppercut is countered into a Codebreaker but it sends Cesaro outside to delay the cover and allowing Cesaro to get out again. The apron suplex gets two more for Cesaro before he just blasts Jericho with a clothesline. Jericho backdrops out of the Neutralizer but can’t get the Walls. Instead Cesaro reverses into the Swing and slaps on the Sharpshooter for the clean win at 12:08.
Rating: B-. Just two guys with talent having a TV match and there’s nothing wrong with that. This would be the latest time Cesaro got a win that isn’t likely to mean anything but I’m sure he’ll be just on the verge of breaking through the glass ceiling for the next six months or so because that’s what he does.
We look back at AJ attacking Cena last week.
Quick tribute to Muhammad Ali.
Video on Rollins vs. Reigns from Rollins’ perspective. Yeah the time with the Shield was fun but Reigns was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was no moment to steal from Roman at Wrestlemania because the moment belonged to Rolling the whole time. Then he tore up his knee and had to work even harder to get back to the top. Watching Reigns win the title at Wrestlemania killed him because he deserved that spot. Rollins came back early and attacked Reigns at Extreme Rules so he can take back the title he deserves.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
Since Smackdown means nothing and we haven’t gotten to destroy Swagger in his home state in a few months. Non-title with Titus O’Neil on commentary. Swagger takes him down until Rusev gets in a kick to the head. Titus talks about wanting to face anyone he has to face because that’s what being a champion means. A powerslam gets two for Swagger and it’s off to the Patriot Lock, only to have Rusev get outside. They COLLIDE off a double clothesline and Rusev throws Swagger into Titus to win by countout at 3:40.
Rating: D+. Yeah we know. This is another match that never needs to happen again so WWE chooses to air it twice in a week to remind us that Swagger still has a job. Nothing to see here of course but I’m pretty sure we’ll be getting Rusev vs. Titus for the title at Money in the Bank. Eh actually throw Swagger in there for the perfect WWE logic.
Here’s John Cena to talk about last week’s incident with AJ Styles. Last week was something special because normally we have a rowdy crowd with the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants but last week it was LET’S GO CENA/AJ STYLES. For over two minutes, Cena felt the same kind of energy he’s only felt when he was in the ring with the Rock. For fifteen years we’ve asked the question of “what if” but last week we saw it happen. Now though Cena needs an answer to Why AJ Why.
This brings out the Club with AJ saying he had a plan: get in the ring, shake Cena’s hand and punch him in the face. Cena has that Hollywood lifestyle and his movies are entertaining. Maybe not the ones he stars in but his cameos are always great. However he insults AJ as soon as that bell rings. Even on Cena’s best day, he can’t beat AJ. When he goes home, AJ’s kids ask why he never wrestles John Cena but AJ can’t tell them that he’d run circles around Cena.
John isn’t pleased that the best AJ can do is say the same thing that everyone else says. Those insults are as outdated as the jorts. When Cena looks at AJ, he sees someone who spent years getting here and then failed at everything he’s done. AJ looked at him and saw the one guy that he thought might get him noticed. That makes AJ sound desperate but Styles says he’s not about to get buried like everyone else who fights Cena and loses. The Club comes to the ring but New Day makes the save. This was EXCELLENT and made me want to see the match even more, which is saying a lot.
Vaudevillains vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Before the match, Enzo and Cass quote a little Muhammad Ali by saying they’ll make medicine sick. Enzo may have been injured at the pay per view but he doesn’t remember it so it doesn’t count. They’re about to prove that the Vaudevillains are S-A-W-F-T. Enzo and Gotch start things off before it’s quickly off to English. Aiden doesn’t do as well as it’s off to Big Cass for the house cleaning. The Empire Elbow gets two and everything breaks down. Aiden gets all evil by trying to throw Enzo’s head into the ropes ala Extreme Rules, only to have Big Cass go NUTS and destroy English in the corner until it’s a DQ at 2:30.
Cass beats up Gotch as well.
Sami Zayn says he’s the underdog in this match because Alberto Del Rio has actually done the things that everyone else is talking about doing. Del Rio comes in to say that he’s going to show that Sami is just a perro.
Teddy Long comes in to see Stephanie and gets on her nerves. His idea is a four way for the Tag Team Titles at Money in the Bank with New Day defending against the Club, the Vaudevillains and Enzo/Cass. Stephanie throws him out and then calls marketing to make the match.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sami Zayn
They’re quickly on the floor with Sami hitting a moonsault off the barricade and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught by a Backstabber and the low superkick for two each. Del Rio spends too much time slapping his arm though, allowing Sami to hit his hard clothesline. Sami charges into two raised boots in the corner though and Del Rio puts him in the Tree of Woe for the delayed double stomp and the pin at 8:22.
Rating: C-. That finisher is just so stupid. Even the 619 doesn’t require that much cooperation and it gets really tiring watching people have to sit up for it because something like the cross armbreaker or ANY OTHER MOVE is off the books for Del Rio. Nothing to see here of course, other than Sami losing to keep everyone equal.
Owens and Ambrose bump into each other with Kevin saying Dean has been crazier than usual recently. Dean thinks that’s a compliment and offers to beat Kevin up tonight and at the pay per view.
It’s time for a video from Reigns’ perspective. Reigns was the explosive part of the Shield while Seth was the brains. It was Seth’s idea to break up the Shield so he could go on his own, which meant him cashing in the Money in the Bank contract at Wrestlemania to take everything away from Reigns. Every time that Rollins has attacked him, it’s been from behind. At Money in the Bank, there’s nothing to keep them apart and it’s head to head.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens
Cole calls this a rivalry despite their last match being nearly two months ago. They quickly head outside with Owens jumping in on commentary to say he’ll win at Money in the Bank. Back in and Owens stomps Dean in the head before saying the briefcase is his. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Owens elbows him in the jaw instead. Kevin takes too much time going up though and gets superplexed down, only to catch Dean in a German suplex.
The Cannonball is blocked with a hard clothesline. The second Cannonball attempt works better but Dean sends him outside. That’s it for this offensive flurry though as Dean’s suicide dive is caught and rammed into the apron. Owens drops a frog splash off the apron but Dean just grabs Dirty Deeds for the pin at 6:36.
Rating: C. I really don’t like that ending as Owens was dominating for at least eighty percent of the match but got caught with one move for the pin. I like that they’re keeping Dean looking strong and can continue to do so without having him win the ladder match but Owens losing always gets on my nerves.
Post match Dean gets a ladder but Owens shoves it over.
Bob Backlund/Darren Young video from Smackdown with Backlund taking his car keys and telling him to walk eight hours to the next town.
Here are Dana Brooke and Charlotte with the latter talking about how she only got rid of her father from her professional life. She’d still love to work out with her father or spend Christmas with him. This brings out Natalya and Becky to talk about how horrible Charlotte was a few weeks back. Charlotte refers to Dana as her protege but that doesn’t sit well with her. Becky and Natalya mention all the backstabbing and manipulation that Charlotte has done over the years and Dana is thinking about something. That lasts all of ten seconds before she helps Charlotte (with the title still on) beat down Becky and Natalya.
The Shining Stars brag about some drink from Puerto Rico.
Tyler Breeze vs. R-Truth
Breezango now has matching fur vests. Earlier today, Breeze was shaving Fandango’s back to make him more arrowgigantic. Fandango: “It’s when your body has no hair and you fly through the air like a giant arrow.” Truth starts with some hip thrusts but the partners get in an argument on the floor, only to have everyone come in for the no contest at 1:00.
Post match Teddy Long comes out to say “let’s make it a tag team match” but that’s not happening because he has no authority. Teddy goes to the back where Stephanie does her best Stephanie impression to get rid of him because SHE wants to run Smackdown. And that is a good example of why I can’t stand Stephanie. That segment could have been fun but no, let’s have Stephanie go all evil again because it lets her get TV time after a month or so of being all smiles and nice. I’m sure she’ll be back to “normal” again next week, or at least until there’s someone else she can emasculate.
We get a long tribute to Muhammad Ali and his connections to wrestling, including emulating Gorgeous George and throwing punches at Gorilla Monsoon, who put him in the airplane spin. Of course the big moment was Ali refereeing the main event of the first Wrestlemania, even though it was just a glorified cameo. The video gets a standing ovation.
The Club vs. New Day
New Day wants to know what kind of club this is. It’s certainly not the Hair Club For Men. Kofi wishes it was the Mickey Mouse Club because they all want autographs. However, the only club that really matters is the club of WWE World Tag Team Champions because NEW DAY ROCKS.
They start slugging it out before the bell with only Woods and AJ being left inside. Big E. is sent into the steps and Gallows punches Kofi out of the air. Woods flip dives over the top to take Gallows out though and we’re still waiting on a bell. Anderson gets in a kick to Woods on the apron, followed by the Styles Clash on the floor to knock Xavier silly as we take a break.
Back with Big E. and Kofi agreeing to fight three on two as we finally get the opening bell. Kofi charges at Gallows to start before it’s off to Big E. The fight is sent outside where AJ gets in a Pele Kick, followed by a big clothesline from Gallows to really take over. We hit the chinlock on Big E. for a bit until E. gets in a belly to belly. The hot tag brings in Kofi to go after AJ, including the Boom Drop. The SOS gets two with Anderson making the save, allowing AJ to get in the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 5:16.
Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and it’s fine to have New Day lose when they’re facing a handicap. It would seem that the Club takes the titles at Money in the Bank as New Day has almost outgrown them at this point. Fine main event here, though more time would have helped.
Post match the beating continues but the fans want Cena. That’s exactly what they get as well with Cena charging down for the save, only to be beaten down by AJ from behind. New Day gets back in though and the good guys clean house to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This is easily one of my least favorite times on the WWE calendar as I’ve never been a fan of the mostly meaningless matches between the Money in the Bank participants. You could always just do the qualifying matches over the course of a few weeks as the ladder match itself is going to sell things, but why do that when you can do the exact same thing every year?
The wrestling tonight was watchable and the AJ vs. Cena promo was outstanding but the Stephanie stuff where she yelled at Teddy came off as cruel instead of anything else. It’s not a bad show or anything like that but I had a hard time sitting through a lot of the same reason I have every year: the matches between these guys means nothing but it’s all they do all the time. Find something, ANYTHING, different for a change because I really don’t care about this stuff.
Results
Cesaro b. Chris Jericho – Sharpshooter
Rusev b. Jack Swagger via countout
Vaudevillains b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass via DQ when Cass wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner
Alberto Del Rio b. Sami Zayn – Top rope double stomp
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds
The Club b. New Day – Phenomenal Forearm to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – May 30, 2016: The Slow Ride To The Bank
Monday Night Raw Date: May 30, 2016
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s a big night here as we have the return of John Cena since his injury late last year. At the same time though we’re probably going to hear the first news about the new Brand Split as Raw and Smackdown will become stand alone shows again starting in July. A lot of the details are still up in the air at this point but it should be interesting either way. Let’s get to it.
We open with a moment of silence for Memorial Day.
A bunch of wrestlers quote a Ronald Reagan speech on fallen troops.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up but Stephanie comes out to join him before anything can be said. They mention the Brand Split and Smackdown moving to Tuesdays before New Day comes out for a chat. Big E. likes the idea of bringing the power of positivity to Raw and Smackdown (“That’s a lot of P’s.”) but then it turned into paranoia because the rosters might be split up. After making fun of Kofi for being the oldest member of the team (Woods: “You were my favorite wrestler in middle school.”), they get to the point: which show will New Day be on?
Stephanie dodges the question and New Day does a dramatic reenactment of Stephanie dodging it like an invisible ball. Woods goes insane and nearly starts crying over the team being split up and Francesca II being in a broken home. There’s also no decision yet on who will be running which show so New Day thinks there should be a dance challenge. Stephanie isn’t interested but Shane gets into it to a nice reaction. They finally get Stephanie to join in but the Vaudevillains cut her off.
Vaudevillains vs. New Day
Non-title and joined in progress with Cole welcoming us back to Smackdown. English gets stomped down in the corner as JBL tells us that a herd of unicorns is called a glory. We get the Unicorn Stampede but Gotch pulls Kofi’s foot to give the villains control. Gotch headlocks Kofi and knocks him to the floor as we take a break after less than four minutes of action. Back with Kofi taking Gotch down and making the hot tag to Big E. for the overhead belly to belly suplexes on English. As this is going on though, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows run in to attack Kofi for the DQ at 8:54.
Rating: D+. I liked the ending as Gallows and Anderson were pretty much the only option to go after the titles at this point and would be a good choice for new champions. The Vaudevillains were just there to give Anderson and Gallows a reason to come out, though at least it was a non-title match and not a rematch for no particular reason.
Anderson and Gallows lay out the champions post match.
Post break Anderson and Gallows say they’ve just put the tag team division on notice because they can do just as much damage without AJ.
We look back at Sheamus attacking Apollo Crews last week.
Crews is doing pushups when Big Show returns to say hello. Apollo says he’s ready to fight Sheamus and Show can admire that. Show knows Crews will make it work because Sheamus is scared of the New Era.
Usos vs. Breezango
Golden Truth is on commentary with JBL ripping on them for being a horrible team. Truth: “JBL they do not allow elephants in here.” Fandango hammers on Jey to start but Breeze charges into a superkick on the floor. Back inside, Jey crucifixes Fandango for the pin at 1:48.
Golden Truth beats up Breezango.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. Reigns talks about how the Shield broke up a long time ago and until someone takes this title from his shoulder, he’s still The Guy. This brings out Rollins for a fight but of course he doesn’t get in the ring. Instead he grabs the mic and teases talking but throws the mic down and goes towards the ring instead. This happens five or six times before Rollins just leaves. The fans call this boring because they have the attention span of drunken goats and can’t go three seconds without being entertained. Rollins sprints down the ramp one more time but stops at the apron again to wrap this up.
Trailer for Warcraft.
Rusev vs. Zack Ryder
Non-title. Rusev knees him in the ribs to start and drops Ryder with a clothesline. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and drops Rusev with a middle rope dropkick. The Broski Boot connects for two but the Rough Ryder is easily countered and the Accolade makes Ryder tap at 2:31. That’s the sixth time Rusev has made Ryder tap on Raw in just over two years and actually the longest Zack has ever lasted.
Rusev calls himself a real American hero but here’s Titus O’Neil to interrupt. Titus says this is Memorial Day and drops Rusev to the floor with a single right hand.
The Shining Stars want us to come to Puerto Rico.
We get a video on Charlotte dropping Ric Flair with comments from various people. This aired on Smackdown.
Earlier today, Stephanie yelled at Charlotte for being a spoiled, selfish brat. She yells a bit more and there’s no reaction from Charlotte as Stephanie collects her first set of lady balls. To recap, so far the first Women’s Champion has been made to tap out to Natalya more than once, played second fiddle to Ric Flair and not been allowed to say a word when Stephanie, yes STEPHANIE MCMAHON, yelled about someone being a spoiled brat who didn’t respect her father enough.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Dudley Boyz
Before the match, Cass lists off various types of cheese that he’s putting on the knuckle sandwiches he’s about to hand off. Bubba and Cass lock up to start but both Dudleyz are quickly sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Enzo in trouble (as expected) and eating an elbow to the jaw for daring to fight out of a neck crank.
Bubba comes in and drops some elbows for two before ripping at Enzo’s face. We hit the chinlock from D-Von for a bit before the hot tag brings in Cass. The reverse 3D gets two on him though and Bubba goes up, only to have an Enzo distraction let Cass slam him down. D-Von takes the big boot and the Rocket Launcher gives Enzo the pin at 9:23.
Rating: C-. This was a really basic match though it’s cool to see the new guys getting a clean win like this. I’m really not sure where you go with these two but they’ve looked awesome so far with Cass more than acting as a solid big man and Enzo as a great mouthpiece. There’s no point in them fighting the Dudleyz anymore, so I’m sure we’ll see them at Money in the Bank.
Sami Zayn, Dean Ambrose and Cesaro discuss their match against Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens and Alberto Del Rio. They’re keeping an eye on their opponents but Dean doesn’t seem to think much of Canadians. Sami: “You know I’m Canadian right?” Dean: “….Oh. That explains so much.”
It’s the top of the third hour and here’s the returning John Cena. He looks at the mic and gives a speech about Memorial Day and is very glad that he’s back home. However, he wants to thank everyone who has paid the ultimate price to keep our liberty safe. As for the business at hand tonight, the question is whether or not Cena still belongs here. That starts up a YES chant in quite the little surprise.
It’s a New Era around here with a bunch of new names and new faces and all of them are thinking that Cena’s best days are behind them. The name of this new era doesn’t matter because Cena isn’t going quietly into the night and the face that runs the place is back so the future must go through him.
Cue AJ Styles for something that would have been a dream match ten years ago. The fans are split (JBL: “The WWE Universe is having fun right now!”) until AJ says he’s been waiting for this for a long time. He’s always heard about Cena being the first in and the last out and now AJ wants to be the first man to welcome him back.
Cue Anderson and Gallows to as they’re here for a fight. That sounds like a challenge but AJ blasts Cena in the face and the Club is back together. The big beatdown is on and AJ even goes back in three more times to keep beating on him. Even Anderson and Gallows pull him back.
Natalya vs. Dana Brooke
Charlotte is at ringside as this feud is somehow continuing. Natalya hits her in the corner but gets taken down, allowing Charlotte to yell a lot. Charlotte distracts her to break up the Sharpshooter and the Samoan Driver gives Dana the pin at 1:20.
Post match Becky Lynch runs in for the save.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to show off tonight against Baron Corbin in a technical wrestling match. Dean Malenko was the Man of 1000 Holds and on the WWE Network you can see Chris Jericho list off his 1004 holds. Well Ziggler knows 1005, which he starts to list. As expected, every other one is armbar. This uh, wasn’t funny.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is billed as a technical wrestling exhibition and Dolph puts on headgear. And there’s a low blow to Baron for the DQ at 33 seconds.
The fans aren’t sure how to react to this so Dolph says the loser of this match is still Baron Corbin.
Miz is on the set of his new movie and needs to get some rest before shooting starts.
Owens, Jericho and Del Rio bicker about the six man tag. They agree to work together but Jericho calls them both idiots after they leave.
Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn
Del Rio suplexes Cesaro to start but Cesaro runs to the floor for the running uppercut on Jericho. The Swing is blocked by a rope grab and Cesaro is taken outside for a triple team. Jericho stomps away as the fans chant STUPID IDIOT. Cesaro suplexes his way out and the hot tag brings in Sami to clean house with his clotheslines. The villains get in a fight on the floor and Sami scores with a big dive as we take a break.
Back with Owens dropping Sami ribs first over the top rope and getting two off the backsplash. Del Rio grabs the leg to stop a tag and it’s back to Jericho who misses a Lionsault and bangs up his own knee. The Blue Thunder Bomb finally allows the hot tag off to Ambrose as house is cleaned again.
Jericho dives into a kick to the ribs but still blocks Dirty Deeds. Instead Dean hits the suicide dive to take Chris out, only to have Jericho grab a Codebreaker back inside. Owens wants the pin but only gets two. The Canadians start arguing so Cesaro knocks them together and Swings Jericho. Everyone comes in and Owens tries the Pop Up Powerbomb on Zayn, only to get caught in Dirty Deeds for the pin at 17:56.
Rating: B. This was good, albeit a bit pointless. You have to expect things like this over the coming weeks as there isn’t much you can do to set up the ladder match other than having mostly meaningless matches like this one. At least the finish was clean though and we have some dissension among people.
Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great show but there was more good than bad going on. The problem is you have something like Stephanie yelling at Charlotte without her being able to say a thing because ALL HAIL STEPHANIE but then you have something amazing like AJ vs. Cena being set up which basically makes people hand their wallets over in advance. The rest of the show was hit or miss but I’m really not too excited about so many feuds continuing in the lame duck period between now and the Brand Split.
Results
New Day b. Vaudevillains via DQ when Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows interfered
Usos b. Breezango – Crucifix to Fandango
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Dudley Boyz – Rocket Launcher to D-Von
Dana Brooke b. Natalya – Samoan Driver
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler kicked him low
Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds to Owens
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – May 23, 2016: Crying All The Way To The Bank
Monday Night Raw Date: May 23, 2016
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re past Extreme Rules and now on to Money in the Bank season, meaning we might start tonight with some qualifying matches. However, the bigger story coming out of last night is the return of Seth Rollins, who attacked WWE World Champion Roman Reigns after Reigns retained over AJ Styles. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event and Rollins making his return.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Seth to get things going, complete with a new graphic that says “Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim.” He certainly looks like a face to start though I wouldn’t put money on that one. Rollins gets a nice WELCOME BACK chant before smiling at the crowd and saying it’s been 200 days since he’s been in this ring. In case you’ve been living under a rock (or in case you’re really not paying attention), he’s back. He’s here to get back the title that he never lost and last night he fired the first shot with the Pedigree on Reigns.
The fans keep freaking out so Rollins asks if they missed him. Fans: “YES! YES! YES!” Rollins brings up some of the dastardly things he’s done over the years and about how the fans didn’t buy him by calling him a coward who hid behind the Authority. Then his knee went out from all the weight of carrying this company. Over the last few months he’s gotten so many fan letters but he put every one of them in a garbage can and set them on fire.
None of these fans were here with him when he was rehabbing his knee twice a day. Now he’s back on his own to get the title back but here’s Reigns to interrupt. Rollins of course bails and says it’s happening on his time. This brings out Shane to invite Rollins back inside for an adult conversation. This conversation consists of Shane making Roman vs. Seth for the title at Money in the Bank.
Sheamus talks about how much he can’t stand Sami Zayn and this New Era. Tonight he’s going to give Sami a beating for all the people who are sick of this foreigner coming in with his stupid hat. Nothing wrong with a simple, old school pre-match promo.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Sheamus takes him down into a wristlock to start, followed by a legdrop of all things. Sami sends it outside with a hurricanrana, only to have Sheamus put a knee in his ribs to send us to a break. Back with Sheamus getting two off the Irish Curse but Sami BLASTS him with a clothesline and gets two off the Michinoku Driver. The Brogue Kick misses and Sami clotheslines him to the floor, only to have the flip dive blocked by a forearm. Sheamus gets back in and eats a quick Helluva Kick for the pin at 10:00.
Rating: C. Well that’s a pleasant surprise, even though there was little doubt that Sami was going to win here. Sami winning is a good option as he’s the epitome of someone who you believe could pull off the big surprise, even though he’s likely only there to take big bumps and sell like no one else can.
Post match Sheamus is furious.
After a break, Apollo Crews is talking about how this is the biggest match of his life when Sheamus jumps him from behind and lays him out.
Here’s New Day for a six man tag and they’ve got a birthday cake. Tonight is the 1,200th episode of Monday Night Raw and that means it’s time to celebrate. However, since cakes in wrestling rings always end up in someone’s face, Big E. picks up the cake and takes it outside to get things out of the way. As he threatens Byron Saxton, cue the Social Outcasts to jump New Day from behind and take us to a break.
New Day vs. Social Outcasts
Joined in progress with Kofi hurricanranaing Slater out of the corner and stomping him down in the corner. Slater is sent to the floor for a Bo Train but Heath collapses, leaving the other two to take a flip dive from Woods. The Midnight Hour puts Slater away at 2:00.
Slater takes the cake post match.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cesaro vs. The Miz
Non-title. Before the match, Miz and Maryse celebrate their win and promise to win the briefcase again, setting up Miz’s biopic. Cesaro starts fast with the uppercuts in the corner for two before diving over the top to take Miz out again. He even tells Maryse to talk to the hand, taking us back to about 1997.
Back in and Cesaro gets two more off a delayed suplex to send Miz outside as we take a break. We come back with Miz hitting the Reality Check but charging into the uppercut. The Swing doesn’t work because of the shoulder but Miz can’t hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead it’s another uppercut and the Neutralizer for the pin on Miz (of course) at 11:24.
Rating: C+. Yo Miz! Thanks for stealing the show last night. Here’s a clean loss to the guy that made you tap out last night. I’m getting to the point where I can’t even complain about these losses anymore. They’re just a fact of life in WWE and nothing is going to change that because WWE doesn’t know any better.
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins talks about how Money in the Bank is his thing when Stephanie comes in. Rollins is all nice to her but she says things have changed around here.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Chris Jericho vs. Apollo Crews
Crews seems just fine after the beatdown earlier tonight while Jericho’s back is covered in bandages from the thumbtacks. Jericho throws a t-shirt in Crews’ face to start and hammers away, only to have Crews just hit him in the bandages because Crews has an IQ above butter. Jericho’s dropkick and chinlock don’t do much as Apollo elbows him in the jaw and avoids the dropkick out of the corner to send Jericho outside.
There’s a moonsault from the apron (mostly missed) to drop Jericho again but Jericho counters the toss powerbomb into the Walls. A rope is grabbed and Crews tries to nip up, only to have Jericho Lionsault onto him for two. Another Walls attempt is countered into a small package, only to have the Codebreaker puts Apollo away at 7:46.
Rating: C+. I’m so glad they brought Crews up for this spot. It’s not like they have a small army of people who can take this loss and not lose a thing as a result. The match was fine, even though Crews didn’t sell a thing from the beatdown earlier. He can’t even hold his back or something? Jericho going to the ladder match is fine but Crews is already looking like another failed call up.
Sheamus laughs at the result.
Life Lesson with Bob Backlund from Smackdown.
Baron Corbin beat Dolph Ziggler last night because he can. This brings in Ziggler, to say Corbin can’t beat him in a straight match. Corbin agrees but doesn’t want to see Ziggler again after. Ziggler promises to steal the show tonight.
Here’s Big Cass, who points to the entrance for the returning Enzo Amore. Enzo is VERY fired up to be back and talks about how he’s back because if he had a dime for every time he got knocked down and didn’t get back up, he would have ZERO DIMES. Cass is ready to kick Bubba Ray Dudley in the head and send him into a pool like a basketball.
Big Cass vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Feeling out process to start until D-Von goes after Enzo, allowing Bubba to get in a belly to back suplex. He spends too much time shouting though, allowing Cass to take over with a clothesline. A Stinger Splash has Bubba in trouble and we keep up the Sting treatment with Cass slamming him off the top. Cass’ big boot and the empire Elbow put Bubba away at 3:11.
Rating: D. Now this is the kind of thing they need to be doing. Enzo is fine as the guy that gets in trouble so Cass can come in and clean house later on. Enzo can be in a match here or there and that’s fine, but the last few weeks have shown that Cass is the real star of the team and the guy who could get one heck of a push.
Here are Charlotte, Ric Flair and Dana Brooke to talk about their win last night. Ric….oh my goodness he is BOMBED. Anyway, Ric talks about how Charlotte has earned her way to the top and been amazing at everything she’s done. As for Dana, she doesn’t exist without Charlotte, which Dana seems to agree with. Charlotte talks about how her dad was never there for her on Christmas and birthdays because Flair was off being the man. Now Charlotte gets it though because now she’s the woman.
That power makes her be able to say it to him: get out of her ring. Charlotte goes on a rant about how she doesn’t need her dad anymore and how she’s going to be better than the sixteen time World Champion has ever been. She’s tired of having everyone look at her and ask how Ric is doing so now he is dead to her. Charlotte doesn’t want to talk and tells Ric to get out because he can watch her on TV like she did with him for thirty years. Ric leaves in tears while Charlotte and Dana pose. Charlotte still needs practice talking but this worked exactly as it was supposed to.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler headlocks him to the mat to start but Dean slams him with ease and throws Dolph out to the floor. The dive doesn’t get to launch as Ziggler steps to the side as we take a break. Back with Ziggler getting butterfly superplexed for two but missing a dive. Dean’s top rope elbow is countered into a rollup for two, followed by the Fameasser for the same.
Both guys try cross bodies at the same time and we get a quick breather. Dean gets superkicked to little effect as he bounces off the ropes with the rebound lariat for two. Ambrose goes for the elbow again but gets dropkicked out of the air this time. The Zig Zag is countered though and Dirty Deeds sends Dean to the ladder match at 12:09.
Rating: B-. Dean winning a bunch of matches in a row is the way to help him get over the Lesnar loss, as well as keep him from looking like such a big loser in general. Ziggler losing is fine and I’m glad it was clean, though I would have been fine with Corbin interfering to cost him the match.
Ric is leaving and even Arn Anderson can’t make him feel better. Renee Young asks if he has anything to say but Ric gives a very sad forced smile and leaves. That was one of the best scenes I’ve seen in wrestling in a long time. Ric genuinely looked devastated and had nothing to say. It was quiet, it was emotional and it felt real.
The Shining Stars want us to visit Puerto Rico.
Here’s AJ Styles with something to say before his match. AJ talks about how he would have been WWE Champion if not for Anderson and Gallows. This brings the big balds to the ring, where they question what he just said. AJ didn’t bring these guys to the WWE to take out everyone in his way but the way they see it, if this was in Japan, Styles would have been buying them a round of drinks after what happened last night.
AJ thinks it’s time for them to go their separate ways but Anderson and Gallows suggest that AJ never would have made it out of Japan (or a bunch of bar fights for that matter) without them. Styles says they’re still brothers and friends but not on the same team. Gallows says no way because they’re not even friends anymore. That seems to be fine with AJ as the two of them leave.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
They slug it out to start until Owens grabs a headlock (“HEADLOCK MASTER!”), only to eat a good dropkick for two. Owens gets in a dropkick of his own but AJ bails to the apron. AJ is pulled face first into the apron with Owens heading back inside but rolling under the ropes instead of diving over the top like he was teasing. As usual he’s the best troll in wrestling.
Back from a break with AJ fighting out of a sleeper and hammering away on the floor. They slug it out inside with AJ getting the better of it, only to be pulled off the ropes and sent into the corner with a German suplex. The Cannonball is followed by Owens telling Cole to shut up but AJ gets in a jumping enziguri. That’s fine with Owens who comes back with his brainbuster onto the knee for two but misses the moonsault.
AJ sends him outside and knees him in the jaw, only to eat the Pop Up Powerbomb onto the steps. Somehow AJ beats the count back in (that’s a bit much) and gets in a quick Pele. He really shouldn’t be up that fast after a finisher onto the steps but finishers haven’t meant anything in WWE in forever. The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up though and the Pop Up Powerbomb gives Owens the pin at 16:20.
Rating: B. That was quite the surprise as I was thinking they might go to a double countout to send both guys in instead. Owens certainly deserves the spot and I would LOVE to see what he could do as a Mr. Money in the Bank. Good match here, but would you have expected anything else from these two?
Overall Rating: B-. This was a wrestling focused episode that actually moved some stuff forward. It’s always a nice sign and a good idea to have a fresh set of stories that give fans things they’ve been wanting, save for ANYONE else as the top face of course. I was really liking Charlotte turning on Ric as it’s long overdue and also a well done segment. The show being all about wrestling helped a lot though, as did the extreme lack of McMahons. It was about moving things forward and the show went by quickly as a result. Good stuff here and I’m glad they went this way for a change.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus – Helluva Kick
New Day b. Social Outcasts – Midnight Hour to Slater
Cesaro b. The Miz – Neutralizer
Chris Jericho b. Apollo Crews – Codebreaker
Big Cass b. Bubba Ray Dudley – Empire Elbow
Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Extreme Rules 2016: Extreme Kickouts And Cleaning Supplies
Extreme Rules 2016 Date: May 22, 2016
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s a night of rematches but in this case we have a few bonus stipulations to carry things forward. The main event is another match between WWE World Champion Roman Reigns and AJ Styles, in this case under Extreme Rules. The question here is who interferes and helps either guy pull off the win. Let’s get to it.
On the pre-show, here are the Dudley Boyz with something to say. Bubba starts an ECW chant before telling the fans to stop buying everything they’re told to do. Once the Dudley Boyz left ECW, it completely fell apart. As for today, ever since they got here, Bubba has been dying to say something. “D-VON! LET’S GET OUT OF NEW JERSEY!”
Bubba rants about how much he hates the New Era until Big Cass interrupts. After listing off a bunch of food (these jokes lose some of their connection without Enzo), Cass says the New Era is doing what the ECW guys did in Bingo halls but in front of millions of people. A quick brawl breaks out with Cass clearing the ring and calling them S-A-W-F-T.
It was smart to have them doing something here but if Enzo is going to be out much longer, they need to either give Cass a new partner (even a temporary one) or have him do a singles feud. Cass is legitimately hot right now and it would be very risky to waste that while waiting on Enzo, who is probably better suited as a mouthpiece, to come back.
Pre-Show: Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Rubber match because rubber matches are awesome and No DQ. The bell rings nine minutes before the regular show is supposed to start so they’re in a hurry here. Ziggler dropkicks him down but Corbin takes it to the floor and sends Ziggler face first into the post. Back in and Corbin pounds away as Mauro lists off a bunch of biographical facts about Corbin (double degree in college and a Slipknot fan), making me miss the days of Mike Tenay doing the same thing in WCW. I know it’s nothing all that interesting but it lets you know a few things about the guy.
Corbin’s chinlock goes nowhere as Dolph gets in a jawbreaker and clothesline to take over. The Stinger Splash into a neckbreaker gets no cover as the countdown to the pay per view reminds us that this is in fact heavily scripted and certainly won’t go over because that’s how wrestling works. Corbin’s powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip for two, followed by a Deep Six for the same on Dolph. Ziggler grabs a tornado DDT and the Fameasser for two and both guys are down. The superkick misses and Corbin hits him low, which FINALLY plays into the rules. End of Days gives Baron the pin at 7:58.
Rating: D+. It’s not so much the action itself but more along the lines of how weak the gimmick stuff was here. They had a total of one instance of using the rules (the posting early on is marginal at best) and that’s not something that should happen in a No DQ match. It doesn’t help that this didn’t need such a gimmick but the calendar insisted on it and we certainly can’t question that.
The other issue here, and this one is certainly not their fault, is the time. That clock on the screen kept letting you know that it would be over soon and really took me out of the match more than once. This should have started about ten to fifteen minutes earlier so they could have had the extra time to let this build up. It never ceases to amaze me that WWE, who OWNS THE NETWORK AND HAS AS MUCH TIME AS THEY WANT, can’t time this stuff better. It really is inexcusable and yet it never stops happening.
The opening video talks about how rules control us but tonight is the chance to write our own rules.
Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows vs. Usos
Texas Tornado rules and this is their fifth match in less than a month, not counting six man tags. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with the Usos getting the better of it, despite certainly not being the most popular guys in the building tonight. Jey dives over the top to take out Gallows, followed by a high cross body for two on Anderson. JBL calls this a dream match, which might have been true on the first match or maybe even the second. I lost interest somewhere around the third but I’m not smart enough to keep up with WWE booking.
Something like the Boot of Doom off the apron blasts Jimmy and the Club takes over. The Usos fight out of what looked like a Doomsday Device and it’s Jey dropkicking Gallows into a rollup for two. Anderson comes back in and knees Jey so hard that he holds his foot before getting two. Jimmy breaks up the Boot of Doom but the Superfly Splash gets the same treatment.
A Whisper in the Wind misses and it’s the Gallows Pole to Jimmy, followed by a spinebuster for two on Jey. Anderson sends Jey outside but charges into a superkick, setting up the running Umaga Attack against the barricade. Gallows is back up with a clothesline (JBL: “LARIOTO!”) and grabs the bell (insert your own Festus joke), only to eat a superkick from Jimmy. The Superfly Splash only hits the bell though and the Magic Killer pins Jimmy at 8:32.
Rating: B-. The match was fun but again, I lost all my interest in seeing these two teams fight weeks ago. It also helped that they were going somewhere with the rules being changed, basically starting the standard tag finishing formula at the beginning of the match. This was fine but they both really need to move on.
The Usos are helped out, which is mentioned as having a factor on the main event.
We get a quick recap of the main event with Rusev injuring Kalisto on Raw to make this even more one sided on paper.
US Title: Rusev vs. Kalisto
Kalisto is defending and tries to start fast with the corkscrew cross body, only to have it knocked out of the air with an ax handle. The fans are split on Rusev (now there’s something you don’t often see) as he pounds Kalisto down. We hit the bearhug and a CM Punk chant starts up. Kalisto fights out of a torture rack and counters into a sleeper with Rusev looking more shocked than worried. The hold goes nowhere so the champ grabs a tornado DDT (second of the night) and now the corkscrew connects.
There’s the hurricanrana driver for two, followed by a hurricanrana through the ropes to send Rusev face first into the steps. Back in and Rusev escapes the Salida Del Sol so Kalisto scores with a moonsault to take him down again. Kalisto goes up but Rusev slams him off the top and right onto the apron to stop Kalisto cold. The doctor comes out to check on him so Rusev grabs the Accolade, bending Kalisto back so far that Rusev is on his back, easily making Kalisto tap at 9:30.
Rating: C. That stuff with the doctor had me worried that they might actually keep the title on Rusev here. There was no reason to not change the title here, especially with Cena coming back in a week on Memorial Day. I really wish they had done something more with Kalisto but the curse of the midcard title got to him again, which really is a shame as it’s taken down so many people now.
Trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, featuring Sheamus.
We recap the Tag Team Titles match with the old school Vaudevillains winning a tournament to earn this title shot against New Day. This included New Day building a time machine, which was NOT an empty refrigerator box.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Vaudevillains
New Day is defending but first they have something to say. After insisting that it was NOT a refrigerator box, Woods implies that he could use some photos or videos on his private feed. Big E. tries to cut him off but Woods insists that he get to shoot his shot. Fans: “SHOOT HIS SHOT!” Big E. has some gardening tools with them and since they’re in the Garden State, it’s time to put some hoes in the ground.
Kofi is the odd man out here which you don’t see that often. The champs get jumped to start and Woods is sent into the post to give the Vaudevillains early control. Gotch comes in for something like a dragon sleeper but Woods gets out and blasts him with a jumping enziguri.
The hot(ish) tag brings in Big E. for some house cleaning in the form of some belly to belly suplexes. It’s quickly back to Woods though with Big E. being sent into the steps. The Whirling Dervish only gets two on Woods and Big E. gets back in to spear English through the ropes. Kofi interferes with a kick to Gotch’s head and Woods adds a Shining Wizard for the pin on Simon at 6:13.
Rating: C-. In theory this sets up Gallows/Anderson as the serious challengers but this really didn’t do anything for me. For one thing, it’s really not making sense to have the face champions use the numbers advantage. It’s against logic in wrestling and needs to stop happening. It’s not like Big E. and Kofi can’t pull this off on their own. On top of that, this was just a six minute match after a pretty strong build with the Vaudevillains being treated like the young guys they really are. I wasn’t feeling this one but it seems like a one off match.
AJ says he’ll win tonight and walks into the Club dressing room.
We recap the Intercontinental Title match with Miz defending against Sami Zayn, Cesaro and Kevin Owens. They’ve done a great job of setting up the four way feud with everyone going after each other and having a reason to want to fight their opponents. Basically Sami vs. Kevin and Cesaro vs. Miz were combined into one feud to this is the big blowoff.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn
Miz is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Sami hits a Helluva Kick on Owens at the bell and Kevin falls outside. Cesaro uppercuts Miz and we’ve got a good guy showdown early on. Sami starts in on the still bad shoulder before kicking Cesaro in the face for two. That’s enough for Cesaro as he grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two of his own and Sami is in trouble. Back up and Sami low bridges Cesaro out to the floor as Miz comes back in, only to be clotheslined outside.
Byron tries to call the match but JBL says if Saxton was on life support, he’d unplug the cord and charge his iPhone. Ok, can we PLEASE cut out the JBL doesn’t like Byron stuff? They’ve been going with it for like ever now and since it’s certainly not leading to a match or likely anything, drop it already as it’s been old but just keeps going for no reason other than picking on Byron. Sami flip dives onto Miz and Cesaro to put all three down. Back in and we almost get a Tower of Doom until Owens runs in for the save.
Kevin cleans house and gets two off the backsplash to Sami. The frog splash is broken up by Miz though and now we get the Tower of Doom with Owens getting the worst of it as Cesaro powerbombs everyone down. Sami knees his way out of Cesaro’s suplex and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. Miz grabs an exploder suplex on Sami but Cesaro suplexes both of them at once because he’s just that awesome.
All four are down in a corner now and that means it’s time for the running uppercuts all around. Kevin stops Cesaro though and it’s Cannonballs for everyone. Sami breaks that up though, only to eat Swiss Death. The Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Cesaro and everyone is down. Miz yells at Cesaro for kicking out and makes the mistake of slapping him in the face, setting up the springboard corkscrew uppercut to the champ.
That means it’s time for the Cesaro Swing for over twenty seconds, followed by the Sharpshooter. The rope break doesn’t exist in a four way so Maryse has to offer a distraction while Miz taps. You would think the referee, two feet away from Miz, would have heard that but instead Owens has to make a save. Miz grabs the ropes to block another Swing and Owens dives in with a frog splash to the elevated champion.
The Neutralizer gets two on Owens with Sami diving in at the very last moment for the save. Cesaro’s powerbomb to Sami is countered into a very fast sunset flip for two. Cesaro BLASTS him with an uppercut but walks into an exploder suplex into the corner, only to have Owens come in with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Cesaro with Miz making the save.
Owens yells at Maryse and gets a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor, only to have Miz dive in for two more on Cesaro. These near falls are insane. Fans: “FIGHT FOREVER!” Miz is backdropped out to the floor but Cesaro turns around and eats the Helluva Kick for two with Owens making a save this time. While the two of them fight, Miz slides in and steals the pin on Cesaro to retain at 18:20.
Rating: A. This was some of the best timing I’ve ever seen in a multi-man match with the near falls getting me more than once. It’s not often that I get fooled by some near falls but this match did it multiple times in less than twenty minutes. I had a great time watching this and the storytelling at the end with Sami getting obsessed with Owens and costing him the title as a result.
Pre-show chat.
We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho in an Asylum match (cage with weapons). They had a match at Payback with Dean winning clean so Jericho hit him in the head with Dean’s potted plant (Mitch). Dean then ripped up Jericho’s $15,000 jacket and the result is this match.
Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho
There are weapons around the top of the cage, you win by pin or submission and Jericho is in boots and jeans. Jericho quickly takes him down to start but Dean makes a quick save and sends Jericho into the cage. It’s time for the first weapon so Dean grabs….a mop, which he uses to blast Jericho in the ear. Cole: “He’s looking to mop up Jericho here.” Even Byron rips on him for a line that bad.
Jericho scores with a dropkick to take over but takes too long going up, allowing Dean to belly to back superplex him down. Both guys go up and it’s Dean coming back with nunchucks, only to have Jericho grab a barbed wire 2×4. That goes nowhere so they both climb up with Jericho getting in a few kendo stick shots to put Dean back in the ring. The crowd isn’t exactly thrilled by this.
Now some nunchuck shots have Dean in trouble and Jericho makes it even worse (I think?) by grabbing a leather strap. A whip to the head doesn’t have much effect so Dean flips him off the top to put both guys down again. Dean straps him a few times but gets sent into the cage. Jericho climbs up but Dean is on the top rope to crotch him back down. Dean pulls off a fire extinguisher so Jericho throws a straitjacket over his head and gets two off an enziguri.
Thankfully Chris gets smart and ties Dean in the straitjacket…..which he doesn’t tie. Dean pops up with forearms which don’t wake the crowd up so a clothesline gets two instead. A butterfly backbreaker gets two for Jericho and the fans want Ryder. Dean drops him again and climbs to the top of the cage for the standing elbow drop and almost no reaction. Like you would think it was a clothesline for a meaningless one count a minute into the match.
Since this hasn’t gone on long enough, Dean goes up to get a mop bucket. That gets no reaction either but the bag of thumbtacks inside gets a bit better reception. They tease going into the tacks multiple times each until they give up for the time being, killing the crowd again.
The Lionsault hits knees but Jericho counters Dirty Deeds into the Walls. That goes nowhere (of course) so Dean breaks a kendo stick over Jericho’s back. Chris saves himself with a fire extinguisher blast, setting up the Codebreaker for two. Some barbed wire 2×4 shots to Dean’s ribs have almost no effect as he counters another Codebreaker by dropping Jericho onto the tacks. Now THAT woke the crowd up. Dirty Deeds ends Jericho at a ridiculous 26:23.
Rating: D+. I think you can guess my biggest issue with this match. Dean vs. Jericho third from the top in a semi-comedy cage match on a gimmick pay per view shouldn’t be 45 seconds shorter than the main event of Wrestlemania. The crowd just did not care here and they lost me as soon as the mop came into play. How much hatred and anger can you have in a match where the big violence for the first twenty five minutes is a mop to the head? Oh and they didn’t even use the plant, which was the big idea of the match. I really wasn’t feeling this one and it just went on WAY too long, even though it was a decent brawl at times.
We recap the Women’s Title, which is somehow centered around Ric Flair. Natalya made the champ tap but Flair distracted the referee so Charlotte could escape. Therefore the result is a submission match with Flair barred from ringside.
Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya
Charlotte is defending and this is a submission match. Natalya takes her down by the ankle to start and asks where Ric is now. A surfboard has the champ in even more trouble but she rolls out to the floor and fires off some chops. That’s fine with Natalya who sends Charlotte shoulder first into the post to give her a new target. Back in and Charlotte kicks her in the face but gets rolled up into a cross armbreaker. I can always go for some basic psychology like that.
Charlotte gets up and powerbombs Natalya to break the hold before grabbing something like a reverse Figure Four (with Natalya on her stomach and Charlotte on her back). Natalya crawls to the ropes and out of the ring for the break as the rope beak rule still isn’t clear over the years.
Charlotte scores with the moonsault and puts on a half crab but Natalya (with her leg just fine) pops up and throws her down with a German suplex. The Sharpshooter goes on so Charlotte climbs the ropes…..which doesn’t work as she crashes back to the mat. Cue a fake Ric Flair which is revealed to be…..Dana Brooke. The distraction lets Charlotte get in a cheap shot and put on the Figure Eight for the submission at 9:34.
Rating: D+. Well that was nothing and so much for the women stealing the show at every pay per view. I didn’t see any selling in this (Natalya being on her feet after the leg work and Charlotte’s arm being fine for the Figure Eight) and the ending was stupid. Somewhat predictable as you knew something was going to happen (though Dana was a surprise) but stupid at the same time. I don’t know if I just died in that marathon cage match or in the fact that Natalya was clearly just a filler opponent but I really wasn’t feeling this one.
Flair, Dana and Charlotte celebrate post match. Cole thinks this was a set up because Cole is forced to sound like a stupid puppet.
We recap the World Title match, which is a Payback rematch after AJ won by countout and DQ but the match was restarted twice, allowing Reigns to pin him. Since then AJ has been forced to go extreme against his will but eventually he seemed to like the idea. There’s still the question of whether or not he’s been behind the Club attacks but that hasn’t been treated as such an important idea this time around.
WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. AJ Styles
AJ is challenging and this is under Extreme Rules, meaning street fight. Styles tells him to bring it to start so Reigns elbows him in the face. AJ ducks some shots and fires off kicks, which are quickly shoved away so Roman can fire off corner clotheslines. A big jumping knee to the face knocks AJ silly and they head outside.
Reigns takes too long setting up the announcers’ table though and gets knocked into the crowd. They fight over to the pre-show panel with AJ throwing him into various objects, including the table and a barricade wall. The Phenomenal Forearm off the table just staggers Reigns and they fight back to the timekeeper’s area. AJ sends him into the post and peels back the floor pads, which can never go well.
The Styles Clash on the concrete is of course countered so AJ tries it on the announcers’ table. Reigns counters that as well and catches a charging AJ in a big old backdrop through the other announcers’ table. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Back in and Reigns hits a Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb (that should be someone’s finisher) for two and the champ is shocked.
With little else working, Reigns loads up the Superman Punch but AJ hits him in the knee and Reigns buckles to the mat. AJ knees him in the face from the apron but Reigns catches him in a powerbomb (so much for the leg) through the other announcers’ table (with AJ bouncing on the table before it breaks). The spear only hits the barricade though and Reigns is out.
They very slowly get back up and it’s AJ trying the Phenomenal Forearm with Reigns Superman Punching him in the face for the counter. The spear connects off the steps but neither guy can get up. Cue the Club as AJ is thrown back inside. Now this brings up the question: who am I supposed to cheer for here? Cole acts like this is a big heel act but Reigns is hardly a good guy.
The Boot of Doom only gives AJ two (so much for that move meaning anything) but the Usos run out (so much for that angle earlier in the night) for the superkick party. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash gives Reigns an obvious two. Another spear is countered and AJ scores with the Clash for two. The Superman Punch is countered again with an enziguri and the Styles Clash on the chair gets two more. Oh come on now. AJ is stunned so he unloads on the Usos and Reigns with the chair. Another Phenomenal Forearm is countered and a single spear retains the title at 22:13.
Rating: B+. This was really good, crippling the Styles Clash aside. It certainly wasn’t one sided but I have a real hard time buying Reigns kicking out of all the offense before the run-ins, the Boot of Doom, two Styles Clashes and a bunch of chair shots. At some point it gets stupid and we hit that with about five minutes to go. Either way though, this was another really good brawl as they beat each other up for a long time before the finishing sequence that people weren’t interested in seeing. I don’t think anyone expected AJ to win here and that’s fine, but good grief enough with killing the Styles Clash.
Post match Seth Rollins makes his return and lays out Reigns with a Pedigree. I have no idea if that makes him a heel or a face but I don’t think WWE does either.
Overall Rating: B. The strong matches more than carry this show as you had the amazing fourway, the strong main event and a good opener to balance out the WAY too long (though certainly not horrible) cage match. The show was very up and down though and instead of leading up to a big ending, it was much more “here’s something good now here’s something bad.” Thankfully it looks like we’re setting up some fresh stuff with Money in the Bank in a month, but that show tends to just throw everyone together in one big mess and forget all the feuds. Still though, strong show and outstanding if you cut out one match.
Results
Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows b. Usos – Magic Killer to Jimmy
Rusev b. Kalisto – Accolade
New Day b. Vaudevillains – Shining Wizard to Gotch
Miz b. Cesaro, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn – Miz pinned Cesaro after a Helluva Kick from Zayn
Dean Ambrose b. Chris Jericho – Dirty Deeds
Charlotte b. Natalya – Figure Eight
Roman Reigns b. AJ Styles – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Smackdown – May 19, 2016: Please Let It End On Sunday
Smackdown Date: May 19, 2016
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It’s the final show before Extreme Rules and this past Monday wasn’t exactly the strongest episode of Raw in recent memory. The stories are starting to run out of steam and Sunday can’t get here soon enough. Odds are tonight is going to be about the Intercontinental and WWE World Title stories, which could go a few different ways each. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap focuses on Monday’s oddball tag match and makes sure to show Shane and Stephanie setting it up in case you’re stupid enough to think these matches are just happening.
Opening sequence.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Miz, Maryse and Sami Zayn are on commentary. Miz gets right to the point and says tonight’s MizTV is canceled. It never ceases to amaze me that they feel the need to change plans from Monday to Tuesday. They slug it out to start as Miz and Sami bicker about Miz constantly getting beaten up. Since this is WWE, the camera keeps cutting to the announcers’ table so we can see them arguing, completely defeating the point of them being on commentary.
Cesaro dropkicks him out to the floor, followed by some chops. Back inside and Cesaro stops for a quick Rumba. I mean of course that’s just a guess as I can’t see what he’s doing because we’re looking at the announcers’ table again but it’s my best guess. Owens bails from the threat of a European uppercut so Cesaro follows him out for the running version up against the barricade. Maryse offers a distraction and Owens knocks Cesaro into the table and then whips him into the steps for a bonus.
Owens mocks Miz’s flapping arms and drops a backsplash for two (Owens: “HOW IS MY CLOSEUP?”). Maryse yells at Sami in French, forgetting that he’s from Montreal. Another backsplash hits raised knees because you can’t hit the same spot twice (makes sense in theory, though Cesaro should have known that the first one was coming given how Owens uses it in every match) but Owens sends him into the corner for the Cannonball.
Back from a break with another shot of the commentary team showing Miz and Maryse kissing. Cesaro fires in an uppercut to break up the frog splash and grabbing a gutwrench superplex to put both guys down. A high cross body gets two for Cesaro as the wrestlers on commentary actually start paying attention and breaking down the match. The Swing doesn’t work though and Owens bails to the floor, only to have him blast Sami in the face.
Cesaro flips off the apron to take out Owens before punching Miz in the face. Back in and Cesaro’s eats a superkick for two but Sami comes in, only to have Cesaro punch him in the face, either over the Helluva Kick last week or to prevent a DQ. The distraction lets Owens get in a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 14:48.
Rating: B-. I’m really digging the idea they’re going with here and it’s actually turned into a four way feud instead of two guys feuding and the other two just being there on the side. I’m actually not sure who walks out with the title on Sunday and it would seem that there are multiple ways to go after the match is over. That’s a hard thing to pull off but they’ve managed to do it with four talented guys doing what they’re supposed to do.
Post match Sami gives Cesaro the Helluva Kick but takes the Skull Crushing Finale.
Paige vs. Dana Brooke
Becky Lynch is on commentary and says her eye injury is the worst thing she’s ever had because the double vision means she has to see Dana twice. Paige knees her in the face to start as we hear about Becky fighting Paige’s mom over in the UK. Dana trips Paige up though and we hit a leg scissors back inside. Becky thinks she should be named Becky Balboa because she keeps getting up like Rocky. Some kicks and knees stagger Dana but she grabs a Samoan Driver for the upset pin at 3:16.
Rating: D+. Dana looked better here but that might be due to how short the match was, which always helps things out a little bit. Brooke has a great look and a lot of potential but she just needs more time in the ring, preferably down in developmental. She’s just been called up too early to be on her own, which to be fair wasn’t the plan until a few days ago. That being said, what the heck has happened to Paige? She’s gone from the top of the division to absolutely nothing in no time. I really don’t get it.
Lana, with that accent dying faster than Paige’s push, says Kalisto is hiding behind his mask and that Rusev is the greatest champion of all time. Rusev says the chant will be MACHKA MACHKA MACHKA.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
It feels like we haven’t seen Sheamus in a long time. Ziggler is shoved around to start before coming back with knees and right hands in the corner. A hard ax handle to the face drops Ziggler though and we take a break. Back with another ax handle blasting Dolph in the face before his superkick is countered with an elbow to the knee.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ziggler fights up and gets in a Fameasser for a near fall. The neckbreaker is broken up though and Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse. Back up and the Zig Zag is countered but Sheamus misses a charge, setting up a superkick to give Dolph the fluke pin at 10:48.
Rating: C-. Sheamus has just died since the League split up. I had forgotten that he was around for a bit as he was only in the battle royal recently and then hadn’t been seen since. Ziggler vs. Corbin isn’t much better though as I have no idea why they’re feuding, especially since Corbin should have won in the first place but we need to give Ziggler a fluke win instead.
Corbin comes out to say he’ll hurt Ziggler on Sunday.
The Asylum cage is lowered and here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho demands quiet by saying QUIET over and over before pointing out the cage hanging above us. Well to be fair no one noticed the cage hanging above the ring on Raw until Ambrose pointed it out so that was kind of necessary. Jericho lists off all of the matches that he’s been in over the years and admits that he’s never been in an Asylum match because there’s never been one. However that means Ambrose hasn’t been in one either, meaning Jericho has the advantage because he’s smarter and crazier.
Jericho asks that the cage be lowered as he talks about how he put Dean in the hospital with a twenty pound plant. Looking up, Jericho adds up the days he can put Dean in the hospital by using all of these weapons, which he sees as at least forty days. That’s not counting all the mental anguish that goes with it, but above all else, Dean is receiving the Gift of Jericho. As the crowd drinks it in, a production worker comes in and of course it’s Dean, who beats Jericho down with a kendo stick to send him running off. Guys in costumes are always an effective idea so this was fine.
And now, a life lesson with Bob Backlund. Bob talks about how Darren should be able to memorize these things and demands that he recite the Presidents of the United States in order. Young: “Coach no one can do that.” Backlund: “Washington, Adams, Jefferson….” Young swears a bit and Backlund LOSES IT, saying that no one needs that kind of language and demands 200 jumping jacks because Young needs to be great in the ring. These are really funny bits and I’m sure that Young in front of a blue background and Backlund in front of a red one is coincidental.
Big Cass/New Day vs. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains
The announcers are flat out saying that Cass has been doing better since Enzo has been gone. During the entrances, we see the Vaudevillains destroying the time machine, which messes up the announcers’ audio for some reason. D-Von and Big E. get things going with the latter getting two off a belly to belly. Byron’s audio is still barely audible as D-Von runs Kofi over and brings in Bubba, who misses a splash attempt. It’s time for the Unicorn Stampede before a big staredown takes us to a break.
Back with Woods hammering on Bubba in the corner until Ray clotheslines him down. Byron’s audio is back because we’re just that lucky. The Vaudevillains starts taking over now with Gotch snapmaring Woods so English can drop a knee for two. The Dudleyz don’t seem thrilled with their lack of ring time here as Bubba shouts at Gotch for tagging in English instead of D-Von.
Bubba comes in instead and punches away while shouting about Bootyo’s. Woods finally gets away and makes the hot tag off to Cass for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Big E. suplexes Gotch before throwing Kofi over the top onto English. A pretty horrible looking East River Crossing (mostly botched as Bubba is a bit too big) sets up the Empire Elbow to give Cass the pin at 10:38.
Rating: C. I’d be really surprised if they don’t give Cass a spot on Sunday’s card in an added match. They certainly seem to be pushing him at this point and it’s really cool to see someone this young and brand new on the roster getting such a shot. I don’t know if he has everything to make it work but at least he’s getting a good start.
John Cena is back on May 30.
Long video on Natalya vs. Charlotte on Sunday with Charlotte talking about how she’ll be twice as good as her dad because she uses the Figure Eight instead of the Figure Four.
Luke Gallows vs. Roman Reigns
Non-title. Usos vs. Anderson/Gallows in a Texas Tornado match is official for Sunday. Sweet goodness just stop already. Anderson/Styles/Usos, the latter again without the Siva Tau, are at ringside here. They trade elbows to start but only Reigns goes down. A second elbow knocks him outside so Reigns comes back inside where his Samoan drop gets two. We take a break and come back with Reigns firing off kicks to the ribs until Gallows takes his head off with a clothesline for a near fall of his own.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before a corner splash crushes Reigns again. That’s enough action so we hit the chinlock again. Roman gets up for a jumping clothesline but AJ’s distraction lets Gallows get in a rollup for two. There’s the Superman punch but AJ grabs Reigns’ foot to break up the spear. Everything breaks down on the floor with Reigns kicking AJ in the face, only to walk into the Gallows’ Pole (chokebomb) for a very close two. Anderson comes in and that’s a DQ at 11:50, despite him not touching anything.
Rating: C+. Not a bad power brawl but you knew the ending was going to be screwy. I have no idea why they couldn’t just wait until Anderson actually did something before getting to the DQ but anything that lets these six brawl more is the right idea in WWE’s eyes. That being said, it would be nice if Anderson and Gallows could actually, you know, WIN SOMETHING eventually.
Post match Anderson gives Reigns the Boot of Doom and the fight keeps going. AJ is the only man standing but he takes too long loading up the announcers’ table. Reigns gets in a few shots but everyone else gets back in it to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Thank goodness it’s over. This wasn’t even a bad show or even a below average show. It was just incredibly boring for one simple reason: this is all padding instead of ANYTHING worthwhile (save for a decent Ambrose/Jericho segment). We’ve seen the opening match in various forms time after time, Dana doesn’t have a match on Sunday, Ziggler vs. Corbin has been done multiple times, Big Cass vs. New Day isn’t a match as far as I know and the main event stuff has been done to death.
I don’t remember the last time a company just ran out of steam like this the week before a pay per view but it’s been a rough two shows. Hopefully they don’t try to stretch these stories out through June as I don’t even want to imagine what we might have to sit through in that case. The quality was fine tonight but there’s just nothing interesting going on here.
Results
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Dana Brooke b. Paige – Samoan Driver
Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus – Superkick
Big Cass/New Day b. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains – Empire Elbow to Bubba Ray
Roman Reigns b. Luke Gallows via DQ when Karl Anderson interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – May 16, 2016: New Day Has A Time Machine
Monday Night Raw Date: May 16, 2016
Location: Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Greensboro, Coliseum
Commentators; John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules 2016 and the only match announced for tonight is the Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows. For those of you not counting, this is the seventh time these teams have been in a match together since April 25, or once for ever Raw/Smackdown in that span. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s AJ Styles to open things up. AJ is tired of Roman Reigns lying about him and he shows us TWEETS to prove that Reigns is saying AJ is in league with Anderson and Gallows. Apparently this is getting to him because it’s a new era and he’s tired of the same old stuff. He didn’t need anyone’s help to get to the top spot in the Tokyo Dome in front of 60,000 people and he doesn’t need anyone’s help to get where he’ll be on Sunday. Cue Reigns to interrupt to say AJ is indeed phenomenal.
Reigns gets annoyed with a WE WANT ROLLINS chant and says he’ll be in the Usos’ corner tonight. AJ will be in his buddies’ corner and cuts Roman’s “the guy” speech off. Reigns is indeed the guy…..that AJ is going to beat on Sunday. Roman shrugs it off and says he can do everything he wants to on Sunday. That’s going to prove that the bloodline (might be the new name for Reigns and the Usos) is stronger than the Club. Cue Gallows and Anderson but the Usos run in as well, only to have Reigns blast AJ in the face to send the Club away.
Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn
Miz and Owens are on commentary for the always brilliant FIVE MAN BOOTH. This is the aftermath of Zayn accidentally kicking Cesaro, his partner at the time, in the face on Smackdown to cost them a match. Cesaro starts fast and powerslams Sami for two but gets sent to the floor, allowing Sami to tease the dive. Instead it’s the springboard moonsault back inside as Owens walks off commentary because he “doesn’t care about this match”. Instead Owens goes after Miz and walks off with the Intercontinental Title. Miz goes after Owens to start a brawl and they get inside to draw the no contest at 1:47.
Cue Shane to make it a tag match which they completely couldn’t have done in the first place. Oh wait we’re not done though as Stephanie comes out to say it would be more interesting if the teams were Miz/Cesaro vs. Sami/Owens and if Owens walks out, he’s not in the title match on Sunday.
Cesaro/Miz vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens
Joined in progress with Cesaro escaping Kevin’s headlock and trying the Swing. Owens slaps Sami to bring him in to face Miz but Sami and Owens keep yelling at each other. One such argument results in Sami being knocked off the apron and into the barricade, which seems to bang up his shoulder as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the running corner clothesline on Sami and bringing in Cesaro to pick the bones with a running clothesline of his own (not a splash Cole, you dingbat).
Miz comes back in and punches Sami into the corner for the tag off to Owens for the big face comeback. There is money in a face run from Owens with him destroying everyone in sight and being built up for a big match. Cesaro comes in for the running uppercuts as everything breaks down. Miz sends Cesaro out to the floor to try his own Swing, only to have Cesaro give Miz the Skull Crushing Finale. The Helluva Kick puts Miz away at 10:47.
Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to after we spent five minutes watching Stephanie and Shane have a board meeting to set up a match. The idea of the guys doing each others’ moves was a bit of a surprise and a different idea and you had Owens being amazing to carry the thing. Also I’m fine with the champion losing in a tag match, especially after his own partner turned on him.
Owens lays Sami out post match and insists that his hand be raised because he won too.
Chris Jericho is furious at Dean for destroying a jacket more iconic to the WWE than Andre the Giant. He should call the cops but he’ll deal with this himself.
Video on Apollo Crews.
Shining Stars vs. Scott Jackson/Brian Kennedy
The jobbers are Corey Hollis/John Skyler from NXT. The Shining Stars are Primo/Epico as wrestling travelogues from Puerto Rico. JBL: “THEY’RE FINALLY HERE!” Primo says the ring is their paradise and they welcome tourists like these people from right here in North Carolina. Primo grabs Jackson to start before it’s off to Epico for two suplexes into a brainbuster. A hard shot to the face drops Kennedy and a butterfly suplex into a gutbuster makes things even worse. The Shining Star (Total Elimination) puts Kennedy away at 1:35.
The Shining Stars invite us to Puerto Rico.
Here’s Dean Ambrose, sporting a black eye, to call out Jericho. Chris is right there to tell Dean to shut his mouth. Jericho demands an apology to go with fifteen grand but first Chris has to tell the fans to be quiet. The apology isn’t happening because Dean wants a match at Extreme Rules. Jericho: “Just as I expected.” The match is on but Dean doesn’t know if Jericho is up to getting extreme anymore.
Jericho lists off his resume and accepts, so Dean has a cage lowered. BOY, IT’S A GOOD THING THAT WAS READY AND COMPLETELY NOT NOTICED ALL NIGHT LONG. There are weapons attached to the cage (including a mop and a potted plant), which Dean has dubbed the Asylum. Dean gives a long speech about how violent this is going to be while the announcers act like there has never been a match like this before. Yeah a weapons cage match is such an insane idea, though to be fair I’d try to forget the Extreme Elimination Chamber as well.
We recap the opening sequence.
Dana Brooke insults some people for not being in good enough shape.
Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch
In case their match on Smackdown wasn’t bad enough for you. No Emma here as she’s legitimately injured, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Becky kicks her out to the floor but Dana sends her head first into the barricade. A modified seated abdominal stretch has Becky in trouble but she comes back with the Bexploder. Dana counters a sunset flip out of the corner and sits down for the pin at 3:45.
Rating: D+. Dana is in a very weird place right now as she was brought up to team with Emma but the injury has completely derailed that idea. The problem is that Dana isn’t anywhere near ready for this level on her own and needs a lot more time down in NXT. They would be smart to pull the plug on this and send her back down but WWE isn’t normally that smart.
We get the same Life Lesson with Bob Backlund from Smackdown with Backlund not understanding smartphones and telling Darren to put his desktop on the desk and his mail in the mailbox. In other words, there’s still no reason to watch Smackdown.
Shane and Stephanie are watching the Backlund ad when Stephanie gets annoyed at him for not bringing up the Asylum match. The Dudley Boyz come in to mention the Attitude Era, which gets one of them a match with Colin Cassady.
Video on Golden Truth FINALLY getting together after five months, capped off by this past Thursday when Fandango and Tyler Breeze turned on them.
Golden Truth vs. Breezango
Truth goes after Breeze to start but gets knocked down in the corner, allowing Fandango to come in and smash him in the face. A double clothesline puts both guys down so it’s off to Goldust vs. Breeze. Goldust starts cleaning house and everything breaks down, only to have Truth kick Goldust by mistake, allowing Breeze to get the pin at 1:58. For some reason the loss was very entertaining.
Post break Goldust doesn’t think the team has any future. Truth thinks they need to get the creative juices flowing and that they need to get their “fing shooie” in line. Everyone wants the Golden Truth but here are Breeze and Fandango to say the new era is passing them by. That’s enough to convince Goldust to stick with it.
Here’s New Day for a chat and there’s something under a curtain behind them. They’re not sure what’s up with the Vaudevillains being from a new era…..so Woods has built a time machine. Big E: “That’s clearly an old refrigerator box.” Woods: “IT’S THE NEW DAYLOREAN!” Big E. thinks the keyboard is from Woods’ parents house. Big E.: “WHY IS IT STICKY???”
They get inside and Kofi comes out to his SOS theme with a Jamaican accent. Woods pulls him back in, despite Kofi’s protests that 2009 was his best year. They come back out (after a lot of whirring noises and the camera going wonky) in black and white with a box of Derriere Squares and broken smart phones. Woods realizes this means there are no video games so Big E. shouts that they shouldn’t be here. Cue the Vaudevillains to beat them down, ending a hilarious segment WAY too early.
Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
Reigns and AJ are at ringside. No Siva Tao for the Usos which is really odd to see. Jimmy superkicks Anderson to start and Gallows is knocked to the floor as well, giving us a meeting on the floor but not a break. Anderson takes over on Jimmy back inside, setting up a legdrop and chinlock for two. Something resembling a Whisper in the Wind puts Gallows down on the floor and Jimmy dives off the steps to drop him again. Anderson decks Jimmy and we get a lot of shouting to take us to a break.
Back with Luke crotching himself on the top rope and Anderson getting backdropped to the floor. Jey gets the tag and dives onto both of them, followed by the running Umaga Attack for two. Anderson breaks up a superplex attempt but charges into a spinebuster for two. Karl tries to run the ropes but eats a superkick with Gallows making the save. Gallows eats another superkick, followed by back to back double superkicks. The Superfly Splash ends Gallows at 12:48.
Rating: C+. I would say to never have them fight again but at this point they’ll probably have it again on Smackdown or at the pay per view. I’m really not sure why we needed the Usos to win here but I’m sure it’s something to do with teaching Gallows and Anderson their place in the company. It’s not like they can go anywhere else and be stars.
Post match the brawl keeps going with the tag teams being sent out to the floor. AJ picks up the chair but Reigns punches it out of his hands. Gallows and Anderson interfere but Roman drops them, allowing AJ to beat on Reigns with the chair, including a Styles Clash onto the chair.
Big Cass vs. D-Von Dudley
Before the match, Cass implies that D-Von is Steve Urkel. Bubba loads up an early table but gets on the apron for some near heel miscommunication. The East River Crossing puts D-Von away at 58 seconds.
Cass does S-A-W-F-T post match and you can see Enzo’s value deteriorating every second.
John Cena return video.
Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title and Kalisto slips on the way to the ring. Del Rio goes after the mask to start before sending Kalisto outside. Kalisto comes back and tries a hurricanrana off the apron, only to get caught and swung into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Kalisto taking a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker so Del Rio can show off the biceps. We see Sin Cara watching in the back as Rusev blasts him in the back with a stick.
Del Rio forces Kalisto to watch the beating on the screen before going HARD into the post off a missed charge. Alberto takes way too long for the top rope double stomp though and Kalisto comes back with a top rope hurricanrana. Cue Rusev kicking Cara down the aisle as Kalisto springboards into a seated senton. The hurricanrana driver gets two but the Rusev distraction lets Del Rio get in a Backstabber for the pin at 11:12.
Rating: D. Another champion loses because that’s how you build a title match. I’m so glad we got this mini League of Nations reunion after all that time they spent tearing them apart. If there’s a reason that Kalisto is being destroyed like this it’s not being made clear enough and this loss really didn’t need to happen. I’m sure this is going to mean the world to Del Rio too, because a pin over a champion isn’t something that’s going to be forgotten a week later, right D-Von and Paige?
Rusev kicks Kalisto in the back of the head and gives him a PAINFUL look Accolade post match.
Here are Shane and Stephanie to moderate the Women’s Title contract signing in the closing segment. They introduce Charlotte but Ric Flair comes out for the big hyped up introduction. Charlotte thanks her dad for the speech and wants to sign but Shane brings out Natalya. Getting her history wrong, Natalya says Charlotte beat her before without Ric in her corner (Ric and Bret were at ringside for that match).
Charlotte goes on a rant about how this is her city and how everyone loves her because her last name is Flair. Ric starts WOOing but Charlotte actually cuts her off. The champ goes to sign the contract but there’s a clause saying that Charlotte forfeits the title if Ric takes one step down the aisle.
Cue security to drag Ric away and if he doesn’t leave, the title is forfeited right now. Ric yells at Stephanie and calls her the worst businesswoman of all time. It’s time to fight Shane and the fans go nuts, only to have Stephanie slap Ric instead. Now security takes him out but Natalya has to save Stephanie from Charlotte. The champ is put in the Sharpshooter and taps out to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was a long, hard show to sit through. It really feels like they ran out of ideas before we got to Extreme Rules and this was what we were stuck with instead. There’s very little that has my interest for Sunday and this show made that interest go down even further. I don’t know what they need to change at this point but a go home show with the Colons in a new gimmick and Breezango vs. Golden Truth really isn’t a good sign.
Results
Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn went to a no contest when Kevin Owens and Miz interfered
Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz
Shining Stars b. Scott Jackson/Brian Kennedy – Shining Star to Kennedy
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch – Rollup
Breezango b. Golden Truth – Breeze pinned Goldust after R-Truth accidentally kicked him
Usos b. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson – Superfly Splash to Gallows
Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto – Backstabber
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at: