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up we’ve got a guy who was starting to show some potential when he passed away far too early: Lance Cade.
Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Lance Cade
Garrison Cade vs. Lance Storm
Since Cade was as boring as Austin said Storm was, they stuck him with Mark Jindrak as a tag team. Here they are in a Tag Team Turmoil match at Armageddon 2003.
Raw Tag Titles: Tag Team Turmoil
Gauntlet match more or less, with two teams starting and the winners advancing to face the next team. There are six teams total and we start with La Resistance vs. Rosey/Hurricane. The Dudleys are the champions coming in. Rosey takes over on Conway to start but it’s off to Hurricane very quickly. Out to the floor quickly which goes nowhere so back in for a full nelson by Conway.
Swinging neckbreaker gets no count because he’s under the ropes. Dupree comes in as we talk about France in Iraq. Never let it be said that Vince passes up a chance to cheer on AMERICA. Hurricane gets a face buster to escape and there’s a double tag. Rosey cleans house and throws out Dupree. A super splash off the shoulders of Rosey off the second rope ends Conway.
Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are in next, running through the crowd and stealing a rollup pin in maybe 20 seconds.
In next are Storm and Venis with the new guys taking over on Jindrak who escapes to bring in Cade. The fans tell Storm he’s boring which is a point to his character at this point. Storm speeds things up a bit but double teaming by the heels takes the heel down. Wait, actually I guess Storm and Venis are good guys. Works for me I guess. Storm avoids a splash in the corner and here’s Venis.
Val cleans house, destroying both guys with relative ease. He was always a pretty steady hand so that doesn’t really surprise me. Lance hits a Cactus Clothesline to take himself and Cade out. Val tries a suplex to bring Jindrak back in but it’s the Warrior at Mania 5 ending for them.
Team number five are the Dudleys, the reigning champions. The Dudleys take over and it’s a Tree of Woe for Cade. They’re only ten time champions here so this is a LONG time ago for them. Off to D-Von and Jindrak with Jindrak hitting a clothesline to get two. Jindrak isn’t that good at stomping. Cade goes up but mostly misses an elbow. Double tag and Bubba cranks it up. Everything breaks down and D-Von and Jindrak trade rollups. Dropkick misses and 3D ends Jindrak.
The final team is Steiner/Test. Bubba may have hurt his shoulder. Double team on Bubba but he manages to take Test down. Suplex sends Bubba flying and Test works on his arm a bit. We finally get something normal going with Steiner vs. Bubba. Steiner drops the elbow and actually covers, getting two. Fujiwara Armbar by Steiner and it’s off to Test who works on the arm even more.
Up to the corner and Bubba shoves Test off and ACTUALLY HITS THE BACKSPLASH!!! I’ve never seen him hit that ever and shockingly enough the guy he hit it on is now dead. Double tag brings in Steiner and D-Von. Neckbreaker takes Scotty down and another one to Test gets two. Double teaming occurs by the challengers and Test gets a sidewalk slam for two. Test accidently kicks Steiner but Test gets a full nelson slam to D-Von for two. Nice move by the Canadian to send in the belt as a decoy and then he gets a chair shot with the referee distracted. Doesn’t work as a Bubba Bomb gets the pin on Test but nice idea.
That would be the end in theory but here’s Bischoff to announce that there’s a final team, who have used their favor for winning at Survivor Series. Yep it’s Flair/Batista. This lasts about 90 seconds and the Dudleys get in maybe two punches combined. Batista gets the powerbomb on D-Von for the titles.
Rating: C-. Hard to call these because they’re more or less just a bunch of Raw matches thrown together into a 20 minute match. It’s ok but if you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen the vast majority of them. It really does show you how weak the division is when the Dudleys are the only realistic team that could win in there. Nothing great but I’ve seen worse.
Somehow they got on Wrestlemania XX.
Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam
Time for a new partner. From Vengeance 2004.
Tajiri/Rhyno vs. Jonathan Coachman/Garrison Cade
Uh…yeah. Seriously how do I even talk about this? This is like an opener on Heat, but a bad one. This was announced on Heat. Seriously, what was the thought osn this? To my great shock and awe, this has a backstory. For no apparent reason Eugene was made GM of Raw for a night and had a game of musical chairs for a title match. Tajiri was eliminated first and Coach got the last seat. This fell out of that.
Tajiri is actually popular. Coach wisely runs from Rhyno. I’ve never seen the appeal of Cade. The guy just isn’t that good and that’s all there is to it. Oh look: Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade on Pay Per View. Coach and Cade beat up Tajiri. Again, is there a reason this is happening? I mean was there NOTHING else to try?
After even more boring stuff, we get green mist from Tajiri to Cade. Apparently the referee seeing green stuff on Cade’s formerly blonde hair is perfectly fine. This is making my head hurt and I’m not even fifteen minutes into it. Cade gets gored, Coach gets kicked and I need a stiff drink.
Rating: D. This was a glorified squash and it was just boring as all goodness. Tajiri was always good for some stuff, but Cade and Coach? Really? That’s the best you can come up with? This was one of the dumbest openers of all time and it’s also one of the least interesting. I mean just think about it: Tajiri and Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade and Jonathan Coachman. Think about that for a minute.
Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Rosey/The Hurricane
Earlier today the southern boys say they’ve beaten the champions before and they’ll do it again. Cade and Murdoch are a brand new team, forming like ten days before this. Naturally they’re the #1 contenders. You can see a bunch of fans going to get popcorn during this one. Hurricane vs. Cade gets us going and the champs clear the ring quickly. Hurricane headscissors Murdoch to the floor as we talk about country music.
Hurricane hits a missile dropkick and it’s off to Rosey. Lawler points out the stupidity of having a place that loves country music asked to boo a pair of country boys. Cade takes over on Rosey as Murdoch goes to hit on Lillian. Well to her credit she looks great tonight. Hurricane saves her but Murdoch gets a SICK elevated DDT to the floor on storm boy.
Rosey takes over but misses a splash in the corner to put him down. We finally get a trainer down here as the match falls apart. Cade cheats some on the floor as Hurricane is carried out. Like an idiot he comes back and tags in, only to get clotheslined a few seconds later for the pin.
After some time apart, the team would reform late in 2006, including this match on Raw, October 2 of the year.
Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Highlanders/Viscera/Charlie Haas
This is under Texas Tornado rules. Everyone rushes the ring and are pretty easily dispatched. This is exactly what you would expect: DX dominates and barely breaks a sweat. Top rope elbow hits Charlie, Chin Music, Pedigree, done in about two and a half minutes.
From Cyber Sunday 2006 as the team gets back in the Tag Team Title hunt.
Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch
The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.
Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.
Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.
Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.
Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy
The follow up on Raw, October 22, 2007.
Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Mickie James vs. Melina/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch
Jeff McCallister vs. Lance Cade
Cade and Murdoch have recently split up and Murdoch became a country singer for like a day. He hammers on Jeff to start and walks around, yelling at the crowd. A big legdrop has Jeff in even more trouble and a Rock Bottom into a sitout spinebuster is enough for the easy pin.
Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade
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