Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means more towel discussion. Actually it means Razor Ramon vs. Diesel, which should make for a good match as the Kliq always worked well together. Hopefully the Survivor Series matches get some more attention this week as they’ve been glossed over, albeit in favor of the bigger matches. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Non-title. We waste no time….in not having the match take place as Diesel and the rest of the Teamsters jump Razor in the aisle. No match and we’re off to a stupid early break.

Tatanka vs. Chris Canyon

I love seeing future names appearing as nobodies. Tatanka starts fast with chops and a slam set up some jumping elbow drops. A release gutwrench suplex puts Canyon down again and we hear about a fan wanting a 24 hour Portuguese channel. Canyon gets in a spinning crossbody for two, followed by a crucifix for the same. Even Cornette is acknowledging some of these near falls. Tatanka scores with a backdrop and the top rope chop, followed by the Papoose To Go for the pin.

Rating: C-. Canyon looked good here and it’s no surprise that he turned into something down the road. He’s certainly not a top level talent but he’s able to go out there and do something, which is more than you get from most jobbers. Why it took him so long to get a major job is hard to say, but it was clear there was something there.

Adam Bomb vs. Jason Ahrendt

Jason was a jobber for the better part of ever. The powerful Bomb wrestles him down for some reason and gets in a suplex. We hit an armbar of all things as it’s time to talk about George Foreman winning the World Heavyweight Championship at 45 years old. Jason’s ax handles have no effect and the Atom Smasher is good for the fast pin.

Vince and Cornette play Raw on Sega Genesis. That’s a show concept if I’ve ever seen one.

We get a long and VERY detailed recap of Clowns R Us vs. the Royal Family, down to the introduction of all six minis. Yes, THIS needs a special feature.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler having all three minis as his guests. Lawler makes the short jokes as only he can until Dink comes out with a water gun. As Jerry blames the other kings, the rest of the clowns come in with their own water guns to soak the kings. Sweet goodness I need to get away from this company.

IRS isn’t happy with Undertaker for cheating on his taxes and has found out quite a few things. This time around, he’s dug up a casket because the occupant’s grave has been repossessed. My goodness IRS and the Repo Man could have been a sweet low level team.

IRS vs. Matt Hardy

Speaking of low level names who became stars. IRS knocks him to the floor as the announcers talk about….hang on a second….Thanksgiving plans, polls about gaining weight over Thanksgiving and Mary Tyler Moore trying to free a lobster. Matt’s sunset flip is broken up and we hit the abdominal stretch. The Write Off (jumping clothesline) ends Hardy as the announcers talk about the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

This week’s Survivor Series Report starts with a shot at WCW (saying this won’t be another rasslin pay per view) before looking at the World Title match. We see clips of last week with Bret and Backlund letting each other out of their respective holds to play some mind games. On Superstars, Backlund went insane (again), shouting about how it’s going to be his again.

We move on to the casket match with a quick video and comments from Undertaker and Paul Bearer. After they say exactly what you would expect, it’s a look at the rest of the card to wrap things up. This was at least more complete than anything else and it’s nice to keep the title match here instead of all over the show.

Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Non-title again. The other eight participants in the Survivor Series match are at ringside. Razor slugs away to start and knocks Jeff Jarrett off the apron as well. Diesel gets taken down in a hammerlock before bailing to the floor for a breather. With Cornette comparing Razor to Desi Arnaz, Diesel elbows him down as the pace slows a lot. Shawn Michaels gets in a few hair pulls from the floor and Diesel slams Razor hard into the mat. We hit the sleeper for a good while until Razor is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Diesel heading outside to glare at the opposing team, allowing Razor to punch him in the jaw. The big sidewalk slam plants Razor for two and it’s off to the neck crank. Back up and Snake Eyes keeps Razor in trouble and there’s the running crotch attack on the ropes. Razor gets in a knee lift and more of those great right hands. Jarrett is dragged in and it’s time for the big brawl as the match is thrown out to end the show.

Rating: B-. These two work very well together as Razor is big enough to throw Diesel around while still looking impressive. Throw in the fact that they’re going to work hard against each other and it’s even better. The ending was obvious but in this case, that’s perfectly acceptable.

Overall Rating: C. Now that’s more like it. This wasn’t a great show or anything but it has me more interested in seeing the pay per view than I was before. I mean, not enough to watch it again or anything but at least things were good back in the day. The main event did focus on the Survivor Series matches and that’s where things needed to go here. I liked the show, even if some of the wrestling wasn’t great. It did what it needed to do though and that’s worth a pass.

I should probably redo Survivor Series but….egads no. Here’s the latest redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/02/survivor-series-count-up-1994-chuck-norris-and-the-mini-kings/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

It’s a double main event tonight with Lex Luger vs. IRS and Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers II! Now how in the world could this not be the best show of the year so far? We’re also starting to get kind of close to the Royal Rumble but the only thing mentioned so far has been the Tag Team Title match with participants to be announced. Maybe we can get a Christmas miracle or something. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

IRS vs. Lex Luger

Luger has what looks like the most bored kid in history carry the American flag to the ring. Lex shoves him down to start as Shawn calls him the Total Package. Vince is trying to figure out who the Druids are and thinks it could be either King Kong Bundy or Tatanka. That’s so stupid I’m not even sure how to make fun of it. A hiptoss and slam put IRS down and there’s an AMERICAN (though not a Real American because that’s been taken) clothesline to give Luger a near fall.

IRS sends Lex outside though and the Druid (who apparently weighs somewhere between 240 and 450lbs) posts him to give his boss (I guess?) control. We see some rings on the Druid’s hand, which Vince says look familiar. He doesn’t say where he’s seen them of course but they do look familiar.

We take a break and come back with IRS dropping some elbows for two more. It’s off to the chinlock before DiBiase offers some advice. Apparently he said “drop a leg and cover”, only to have Luger come back with right hands (Shawn: “Luger punches like a girl.”). The Druid trips Luger up and slaps him though, triggering a brawl which leads to a countout win for IRS.

Rating: D. Another lame match but at least it was shorter this time around. The Million Dollar Team is still one of the worst stables I’ve ever seen though as the thing just keeps going with nothing interesting going on in the slightest. I mean, IRS as the main wrestler just isn’t going to work no matter what you do with him. He’s fine as a midcard guy but they’re actually making him the focus. That’s almost frightening.

The Druid is Tatanka.

We recap the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament.

The Bushwhackers are getting the Fink ready by rubbing sardines in his face.

Jeff Jarrett runs into comedian Rip Taylor at Bally’s in Las Vegas. This continues to be bad.

Smoking Gunns vs. Roy Raymond/Chris Avery

Billy and Raymond get things going as we hear about the Gunns entering rodeo competitions. Well that’s better than entering toughman competitions on live television. Bart suplexes Roy as the announcers break down the upcoming Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn match. Avery comes in and has about the same success until he pulls some hair to take over…..for all of two seconds. Bart hiptosses him again as Shawn just lays into Vince for his obsession with cowboys. A powerbomb/top rope legdrop combo finally puts Chris away.

Rating: D. The Smoking Gunns are one of the most successful teams from one of the worst eras in tag team history. Until we FINALLY got to Owen/Bulldog as champions in 1996, the titles died more and more every single week. Teams like the Godwinns didn’t help things and it’s no wonder that the Gunns stayed on top so long.

Speaking of which, Henry Godwinn debuts next week.

This week’s King’s Court has Bob Backlund as a guest. They’re milking the heck out of this guy. Lawler isn’t pleased with Jack Tunney ripping Backlund off in something he doesn’t explain well enough. Backlund knows what he is and knows where the plebeians stand. The fans chant EIGHT SECONDS (the amount of time it took for Diesel to beat Backlund) as Bob uses a bunch of big words.

Enough of that though as Backlund talks about hurting Bret Hart at Survivor Series. It was like he was putting the chickenwing on all the people at once. Bob is happy to face Bret at any time, whenever he comes back. Finally, Bob wants to talk about Diesel, who stole the title from him. Backlund: “Kevin Nash, you’re like a neanderthal.” Shawn: “Did you hear that Vince? KEVIN NASH!” The hatred in Vince’s voice is great. Bob calls Nash the tyrannosaurus rex of the WWF, meaning he’ll be extinct soon due to a chickenwing.

Bob Holly vs. Chris Canyon

Yes that Canyon (well Kanyon), who is in a weird purple half singlet and gold trunks. Holly armdrags him into an armbar to start, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex for two. It’s off to a chinlock from Bob (not something you often see from a face) as Shawn brags about himself to kill time. Holly slams him down and drops a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. A lot of that is due to the bizarre color combination on Canyon. Seriously it was that distracting. Holly continues to be one of those guys who was watchable in the ring but never had a chance because of the ridiculous gimmick he was stuck with. Canyon would do better later on of course.

Here’s a Royal Rumble control center with Bret vs. Diesel being announced for the first time on Raw. Diesel says Bret has jumped right on this title match idea by naming the time and place. He isn’t sure how Bret has gotten away with wearing pink for so long because a real man wears black with a little gold. At the Rumble, they’ll both be black and blue.

We also get the first ten entrants for the Rumble itself. This just makes me sad.

Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers

The managers are the big draw here. Again, this just makes me sad. The Bushwhackers clean house again to start with both villains being knocked to the floor. Even the Fink gets to do some whacking. We settle down to Dunn taking over on Butch, only to have Luke dragged inside to send Dunn into Well. Luke gets kicked in the ribs from the apron and Well comes in with a top rope elbow to the jaw. Dunn dives into a raised boot and it’s off to Butch for more clotheslines. Harvey tries to interfere but Fink pulls him down by the pants, allowing Butch to roll Well up for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might have been a big step up over their first match. Well Dunn was clearly never going anywhere and somehow this was more about the fighting managers than anything else. At least we got the comedy spot at the end because this would have been a waste of time otherwise.

Santa Claus sits on Mabel’s lap for whatever reason. Comedy I believe.

Jim Neidhart vs. Nick Barberri

Neidhart yells at the Spanish announcers for some reason. Forearms put Nick down and a backdrop sends him over the top. Back in and a bad camel clutch makes Nick give up. This was it for Neidhart for a few years for whatever reason.

One more Rumble preview and a look at next week’s card wraps things up.

Overall Rating: D. Dang 1995 is looking better every week. I can’t get over the fact that they though Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers II was going to be an interesting draw. You really can tell that they’re taking some time off at this point and it’s getting more and more pitiful every single week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: January 12, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Erie, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,947
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mike Tenay

We’re officially on Wednesdays now as Thunder goes running away from Smackdown as fast as it can. It’s the final show before Souled Out, which isn’t going to wind up meaning anything as the top half of the card is going to be thrown out the window due to a bunch of injuries. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Nitro this week. The old guys are prominently featured.

Bret Hart arrives separately from the NWO.

Vampiro vs. Crowbar

To set the tone for this show, Tony brings up the Old Age Outlaws and Scott’s immediate response is “Oh you didn’t know.” Vampiro jumps David Flair during the entrances and goes after Crowbar early on. David gets planted with a Rock Bottom on the floor but Crowbar pops back up with a moonsault to the floor to take both of them down.

Crowbar hits a slingshot splash for two but Vampiro plants him with another Rock Bottom. Some kicks set up a pose but Crowbar plants him with a German suplex followed by a slingshot legdrop. Back up and Vampiro gets crotched on top, only to counter a hurricanrana into a superbomb for the pin. Short but entertaining while it lasted.

Vampiro gets beaten down post match until Arn Anderson comes out to talk to David. Crowbar goes after Arn and gets laid out.

Time to run down the card.

Here’s Bret Hart with something to say. The crowd has a right to boo him right now because he’s let them all down. He doesn’t like the way the NWO takes all those shortcuts so the NWO is out and the pink and black attack is back. Bret tells the NWO where they can stick it and here they come to the stage. Nash says Bret hasn’t learned a thing “since New York” because he’s still too stupid for his own good.

The crowd may want heroes, but Bret could have become a god in the NWO. Bret needs to forget about this Canadian hero bull because hard work doesn’t pay. That would be one of those shoot comments that isn’t meant to be a shoot comment. Nash offers Bret a chance to come back to the team right now, but Bret swears a bit more. He’ll go through the NWO one by one starting tonight so Nash promises to end Hart’s career. It’s a nice idea, even though I’m not entirely sure why Bret has had a change of attitude.

After a break, Bret is sitting in a room with a ball bat.

The Old Age Outlaws are watching on a monitor. I guess that passes for interesting now.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Norman Smiley

Norman is defending and this is taking place outside, but Norman it’s too cold. He’s finally forced outside and gets jumped by Knobbs, who nails him with a bunch of weapons. Norman comes back by throwing him into a wall and they hit each other with trashcans and a metal sheet. Cue a car to run Norman down, allowing Knobbs to hit him with a shovel, because RUNNING HIM OVER WITH A CAR isn’t enough, for the pin and the title, because Brian Knobbs is a better choice to be a champion than the entertaining Smiley, and doing this four days before a four way title match makes total sense.

The NWO kicks Bret’s door down.

Here’s the Revolution with something to say. They’re ready for the big showdown with the Filthy Animals on Sunday and Shane might even get in the match himself. Malenko promises to raise the Revolution flag on Sunday over the bodies of the Filthy Animals. Saturn talks about spinning wheels and nearly gets into it with Asya until Shane calms them down and tells Asya not to screw this up.

The NWO has Bret and carry him through the back. The Old Age Outlaws are STILL watching all this. I’m still trying to figure out why this is supposed to be interesting.

Jerry Flynn and Tank Abbott get arrested for fighting.

Madusa vs. Oklahoma

Non-title, but this is an evening gown match. Oklahoma comes out in a dress and carrying the Cruiserweight Title, so here’s Miss Hancock to shake her head at him. Madusa comes up from behind and kicks Oklahoma down before they whip each other into the steps. He can’t get the barbecue sauce taped to his leg so he slams Madusa and tries to get it out again. With that taking way too long, Madusa suplexes him down and strips his dress off for the win.

As if that’s not enough, Oklahoma gets the bottle loose and nails Madusa, rips off the top of her dress and pours the sauce over her. This is in no way symbolic of anything whatsoever.

The NWO burns Bret’s gear.

Madusa yells a lot, the producer yells clear, the segment ends.

Midnight vs. Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray

It’s an elimination match. Why you ask? I don’t know, but I’m assuming Oklahoma in a dress pouring barbecue sauce over Madusa’s chest will explain it. Midnight comes out first but we see Stevie jumping Booker backstage. Stevie comes out and beats Midnight into the corner for a knee to the ribs and right hands to the face. A clothesline and ax kick set up a powerslam as Midnight has had no offense.

Cue Booker who punches Stevie to the floor but Stevie wants a mic. He’s going to leave now and since this is an elimination match, Booker now has to beat up Midnight. So after we had the regular man on woman violence, we now get man on woman violence against the man’s will. Can we please get rid of Russo so we don’t have to watch his weird fetish stuff anymore?

Booker grabs a headlock before putting Midnight down with a few shoulders. He doesn’t want to follow up though so they stumble around until Midnight scores with a dropkick. Booker hits the ax kick but Stevie low bridges him to the floor and blasts him with a slap jack. He throws Booker inside and tells Midnight to pin him, but Midnight pulls Booker on top of her to give him the win.

Rating: F. So we had a man beating up a woman, a man reluctantly fighting a woman, and then a woman laying down and pulling a man on top of her. I’m sure Russo and Ferrara loved it because they seem to hate women in any form and good for them for getting to enjoy themselves for a few minutes while everyone continues to watch anything else.

Midnight dropkicks Stevie post match, but since that might mean a lowly woman got one up on a MAN, Stevie slap jacks her to put her back in her place.

Jerry Flynn is put in his cell and Tank Abbott jumps him. Because they’re cell mates. It’s WACKY!

Kanyon is ready for his champagne on a pole match. Well of course he is.

Nash is going to cut Bret’s hair.

Funk sends Zbyszko to find out if Bret has had his head shaved, because he doesn’t care enough to go find out himself. And that’s the boss people.

Chris Kanyon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Champagne bottle on a pole. Kanyon slugs him down as Bigelow gets inside but Bam Bam nails an elbow to the face. An early climb is countered with a powerbomb from Kanyon (looked better than you would think) but Bigelow crotches him to break up a bottle attempt. Bigelow nails a belly to back and falling headbutt as they’re trying this wrestling thing for a change. This time it’s Bigelow getting crotched as he goes up, allowing Kanyon to Russian legsweep him down from the ropes to put both guys down.

It’s Bigelow up first but Kanyon’s girls get on the apron to break up Greetings From Asbury Park. Your good guy tries to kiss the girl but Kanyon gets up for a save. Kanyon pulls down the bottle and dives into a right hand to the head. Bigelow grabs the bottle, throws it down, and headbutts Kanyon between the legs. Greetings From Asbury Park ends this.

Rating: D+. Somehow this is probably the match of the night, even though they ignored the gimmick of the match. You can almost cringe in advance whenever a woman is on screen these days though and it has nothing to do with their performances. Somehow we’ve reached the point where Vince having Trish bark like a dog is a lot easier to sit through than what’s going on here.

Post match Luger, still dressed as Sting, comes out and nails Bigelow with a ball bat. Luger loads up a Scorpion Deathlock (oh I’d pay to see him try that move) but a crow appears at ringside to screw off Luger and Liz. Bigelow gets up and yells at Luger, earning him a champagne bottle shot to the head.

Zbyszko and Orndorff look for Bret.

Package on Page vs. Bagwell, which makes sense, even though they never actually showed what started the thing.

Kimberly comes out to talk about various challenges before Gene gets to the point: why are she and Page having issues? Apparently Page doesn’t like Kimberly getting too involved with all the people at work but this isn’t about Bagwell. Gene: “How are things in the bedroom at home?” I’m wrapping this up quickly: Kimberly says this is private and doesn’t refute anything Bagwell has said other than she’s taller than he says.

MY GOODNESS stop treating the women on these shows like this. Madusa is stripped and covered in sauce, Midnight is beaten up and blamed for splitting up a team and now Kimberly is basically called a sl** who has been with every member of the locker room as Gene asks her about her sex life. This gets more and more ridiculous every day and it’s getting sickening.

Sid and Benoit are ready for tonight as well as Sunday.

Sid Vicious/Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett/Kevin Nash

Jeff promises to take Benoit apart on Sunday but gets cut off by Sid. It’s a big brawl to start with Benoit taking Nash to the floor as Sid hammers on Jeff in the corner. Well it’s not like Jeff can look any worse at this point. A big boot sets up a chokeslam but Nash comes in off the apron to break it up. Nash and Sid pair off as Jeff and Benoit fight to the back of the arena. This is firmly in the “it’s technically a match” category. Benoit comes back for a save but gets double teamed as the referee tries to keep this straight.

Jeff puts on the sleeper and of course gets reversed. He does however mix things up by jawbreaking his way out instead of using a suplex. Benoit grabs the ropes to avoid a dropkick and catapults Jeff into the corner. Nash breaks up the Crossface and everything breaks down again. They send Benoit to the floor and Nash blasts Sid with the US Title. Jeff tries the same thing on Benoit but eats a suplex. The Swan Dive is broken up and Nash shoves Benoit onto the belt, setting up the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: D. Total Attitude Era style main event here with neither team looking particularly good. I’m still not sure why I’m supposed to care about Sid vs. Hart on Sunday when they’ve barely interacted or why Nash being commissioner is going to be interesting (you know he’s going over Funk) but the wrestling isn’t helping anything.

Scott Steiner is out cold under a table and Bret is gone.

Bret, covered in bruises, walks outside but says he isn’t leaving like that. Ignore his hair clearly under the back of his hat.

It’s time for our big closing segment with Bret coming to the ring with a pipe. He wants the NWO out here right now so here are Nash and Jarrett with ball bats. Remember when people fought with their fists instead of metal objects? Bret gets beaten down so Anderson (with a bucket. A bucket?) and Funk (branding iron) come out. Didn’t Funk say he didn’t care? The old guys clean house but Funk thinks something is up.

Anderson throws the bucket of water on Bret, cleaning the bruises off his face. As you should have seen coming, Bret takes off his shirt and reveals an NWO shirt (because OF COURSE). Cue the New Age Outlaws (as Tenay calls them) but they’re quickly taken down. Sid and Benoit come out and take beatings as well, only to have Funk hit Nash low (because Sid and Benoit are worthless when compared to a legend like Funk) and go for the branding iron to end the show.

Overall Rating: SLRAMYBIBAWRPFBYAAWHNWHTAOGWCAYOPPBYATETGAJAEACDJWMAARATSTCFYHMPDAWSISGYOOAJAWFTDWRSIAYRHMDYRHDTTSOF.

For so long Russo and may you be impaled by a wild rhinoceros, preferably female, because you are a woman hating neanderthal who has treated a once great wrestling company as your own personal playground because you aren’t talented enough to get a job anywhere else and couldn’t do jack without McMahon, Austin and Rock around to save the company from your horrible movie plots disguised as wrestling stories. I’m so glad you’re out of a job and wait for the day when reality sets in and you realize how much damage you really have done to the sport of wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Today we’re looking at someone who actually did some new innovative stuff in the ring: Chris Kanyon.

As is becoming a tradition here, we’ll look at a match from the jobbing days. This one is from WWF Superstars of Wrestling from December 10, 1994.

Owen Hart vs. Chris Kanyon

Owen is still one of the top heels in the company at this time. Hart cranks on the arm to start and hits a hard clothesline to take Kanyon down. Back to the wristlock before Owen avoids an elbow to stop Kanyon’s comeback attempt. Kanyon rams him into the buckle a few times but misses a moonsault press. The missile dropkick sets up the Sharpshooter to give Owen the win. Standard squash.

Owen beats him up a bit more post match.

Kanyon would eventually get to WCW as a masked man named Mortis. He would have a mysterious backstory that was never fully explained but he had some connection to Glacier. This led to a feud, and I mean a LONG feud, with no one caring about either guy. During this time though, Kanyon gained a tag partner named Wrath. They never did much of note, but they did have a shockingly good match on the July 22, 1997 episode of Monday Nitro.

La Parka/Psychosis vs. Mortis/Wrath

Wrath and La Parka start things off with the skeleton man (La Parka) taking over with some kicks. He goes up but jumps into an elbow so it’s off to Psychosis vs. Mortis. Mortis stomps away in the corner but Psychosis breaks free and goes up…..and falls without being touched at all. Ah the perils of live TV.

Psychosis comes back with a dropkick and everyone falls to the floor, where La Parka hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor. Psychosis slides in to try to dive on Wrath, only to get caught and slammed onto the floor. Mortis suplexes Psychosis back in for two but misses a top rope backsplash. Onoo and Vandenberg get in a fight, as do Wrath and La Parka. Psychosis rolls up Mortis for two but there’s no referee to count. Wrath picks up Psychosis for a powerbomb and Mortis makes it a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was WAY better than you would have expected and got pretty entertaining by the end. The botch was bad but it happens every now and then and there’s almost nothing you can do about it. La Parka and Psychosis didn’t look like jobbers here, but rather a tag team that got beat by a better one. This was a surprisingly fun match and I liked it way more than I was expecting to.

Mortis would eventually be unmasked and become known as Kanyon while involved in a long and confusing story with Raven and Saturn. Eventually he would turn on Saturn and join the Flock which mostly led nowhere. Kanyon would take a hiatus to work as a stuntman in Hollywood before returning as part of the Jersey Triad. They held the tag titles under the Freebird Rule and would defend the belts against Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn at Bash at the Beach 1999. The other part of the Triad is Bam Bam Bigelow and the three can swap in and out at any given time.

Tag Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn

 

This is the ONLY good thing about this entire show. Remember that the Freebird Rule is in effect but they can trade off who is in the match at any time, more or less making this a handicap match. The starters here are Bigelow and Page. As for the actual match it’s Page vs. Saturn. All three members of the Triad are on the apron even though Kanyon was announced as accompanying them.

 

Saturn cleans house to start us off, knocking everyone to the floor. Off to Benoit vs. Bigelow and Page is on the floor now. Bigelow hammers him down but Benoit gets a boot up in the corner. How often do you see a single clothesline drop Biegelow? The Triad hits the floor for a bit so now it’s Saturn vs. Kanyon. Kanyon was the betrayer that cost Raven and Saturn the tag titles a few weeks ago to get them on the Triad.

 

Saturn tries a German on Kanyon but Kanyon grabs the referee to block it. Off to Benoit now who runs over Kanyon. There’s that snap suplex and into a Liontamer. Benoit and Saturn clear the ring again and Saturn gets two on Kanyon. Benoit gets a backbreaker for two. Kanyon keeps getting beaten on as Saturn hits a top rope legdrop for two. Totally one sided so far.

 

Page comes back in without a tag and sends Saturn to the floor. Some heel shenanigans put Saturn down and we hit the floor for a bit. Silverman, the referee here, counts really slowly. Bigelow and Kanyon are beating on Saturn now as the fans are paying attention to something else. Bigelow hits a chinlock because the fans aren’t paying attention. That’s a veteran move there and proof of what experience can teach you.

 

Kanyon sits Saturn on the top rope and tries what looks like a Fameasser but crotches himself before he can hit it. Saturn hits a suplex off the top and it’s off to Benoit. He cleans house but the numbers catch up to him. Page goes insane for a bit, jumping up on the ropes to yell at the fans. He goes outside and keeps yelling, even climbing on the barrier. Weird.

 

DDP and Bigelow are the “legal” Triad members now. We’re told about how awesome Page is and how he’s held every title. The only other people I can think of that did that are Sting and Luger (if you count the NWA versions as title reigns which I do). Flair technically did but his TV Title reigns were in the 70s when the title was more of a regional one. Eh not that it matters but I love stuff like that.

 

Kanyon gets a sunset flip on Benoit for two. Bigelow beats on him for awhile as the crowd pops for something. Page gets his turn now as Benoit is getting destroyed. It’s to the point now where Saturn has to make saves. There’s the hot tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Page gets that WICKED helicopter bomb on Benoit for two. Love that move. Kanyon gets a middle rope legdrop for two.

 

Benoit suplexes Kanyon and Bigelow saves the tag again. Benoit is like screw it and suplexes Bigelow. The fans are distracted again as Bigelow counters a suplex into kind of a cross body. The moonsault that wouldn’t have hit even if Benoit hadn’t moved but he did move misses and there’s Saturn finally. Saturn cleans house with suplexes and kicks and Benoit is back in already.

 

Bigelow and Benoit are the only ones in the ring. Saturn goes up top as does Benoit. Splash by Saturn is followed by the Swan Dive but Page makes the save. Northern Lights gets two on Page. Kanyon has powder as the referee goes down. Powder to Saturn but Page messes up and hits the Cutter on Kanyon but he gets the foot on the rope. Crowd is WAY into this. The Canadian hits a German on an American for two. There’s a garbage can in the ring and the referee goes down again. Page cleans house with the can and Bigelow/Page hit a 3D on Saturn to retain.

 

Rating: B+. Like I said, this is the only reason to watch this show but it’s a pretty awesome tag match. The Triad would lose the titles after Flair either fired them or lost power next month. This was really fun though and it ate up over twenty minutes so it had more than enough time to develop. Very fun stuff here and it’s worth seeing.

After the Triad broke up, Kanyon would be called Positively Page in a parody of Diamond Dallas Page. This would eventually lead to a match that doesn’t need a backstory at all. It’s from New Blood Rising against Buff Bagwell and that’s all you’ll need to know.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Kanyon

Yep it’s Judy Bagwell on a pole. Kanyon is still imitating DDP here which must make Madden cringe. Bagwell isn’t even on a pole but rather a forklift. Do you win by pin I suppose? Kanyon is POSITIVELY Kanyon here (Page’s book was Positively Page) and if he wins then Judy has to be his Kimberly. The fans chant USA in Canada. I guess WCW managed to lower intelligences that fast.

There isn’t a pole that they could get to hold up Judy. They start by fighting next to the forklift and we’re already in the audience. I don’t think the match has actually started yet. Kanyon does his usual good stuff as no one cares about this. Seriously there’s a woman on a forklift match. I can’t believe I’m watching this. Kanyon gets the turnbuckle pad off and the referee is just fine with it.

Kanyon could do some solid stuff in the ring if nothing else. He really was innovative. Madden gets on DDP of course. Does he owe Madden money or something? Kanyon works on the neck of Bagwell which was broken like a year ago. Bagwell gets a hot shot onto the exposed buckle for two. Kanyon Kutter gets two and here comes the real DDP…never mind it’s David Arquette.

He hits Bagwell in the back with a construction hat for two. Buff hits a double Blockbuster, which is a front flip neckbreaker off the middle rope on both guys, with Arquette just getting smashed in the face by a forearm instead of a neckbreaker. This ends it and Judy is saved off the forklift. Oh and this is sports entertainment, not wrestling. Kanyon hits the Kutter on Arquette after the match, getting cheered despite being a heel.

Rating: D+. As idiotic as this was, the wrestling was watchable I suppose. At this point you couldn’t treat WCW as realistic from a wrestling standpoint so this was about as good as the midcard stuff would get. For the rating I’m factoring out the whole insanity because it meant nothing anyway. I can’t believe they brought Arquette back AGAIN. This was somehow watchable and I don’t know why.

 

Kanyon would go to the WWF for a few years and do nothing of note. He would be awarded the US Title and won some tag titles during the InVasion but he was never more than a warm body. We’ll skip that and go to a legends show which is the last match that I can find him competing him. Pay attention to the post match chat with Page, which gets a real answer from what I can find.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon

Well at least there’s some history here. DDP goes through the crowd as he tended to but gets jumped by Kanyon. The announcers call this a dream match. That’s kind of absurd but Kanyon is on a show called World Wrestling Legends so what do you expect here? They brawl in the crowd a bit and DDP dominates. And there’s the bell. I love brawls before the bell for some reason.

This is far more of a brawl than a regular match but who cares. Discus Lariat from DDP gets two. There’s a low blow that somehow the referee misses as he’s looking straight at DDP who is going strong and then has the face of someone that just got hit in the balls. Referees are idiots. Kanyon gets a big piece of wood that they call a table. Ah it is a table but not the standard kind. Maybe these will actually hold some weight.

Kanyon tries to suplex him over the top onto the table which wasn’t anywhere close to where DDP would have landed but who cares about something like that? Page comes back and pounds away but gets caught by more punches from the innovator of offense. Riveting stuff there. Sunset flip by Page gets two.

Sleeper by Kanyon with Page flailing all over the place to the extent that he looks like he’s dancing badly. Page comes back and gets a suplex for two. Pretty back and forth match so far here. Kanyon goes out and grabs a chair but due to the laws of wrestling averages it goes into his face for two. Page is sent to the floor as this is going back and forth too fast with little being sold.

Kanyon channels his inner Bret Hart by playing possum and hitting Page in the throat with some foreign object for two. Page hits a back drop onto the ramp as Kanyon is in trouble. In a SICK bump, Page throws Kanyon off the stage and onto the table which Kanyon just bounces off of. FREAKING OW MAN! After a brief comeback from Kanyon the Diamond Cutter ends him.

Rating: C-. Again not bad considering these guys hadn’t wrestled in years probably. The pacing was really weird here but the fans only wanted to see the Diamond Cutter to end it and that’s exactly what they got. Having some history here helped a good bit. This wasn’t good or anything but it worked fairly well I’d suppose.

Page gets on the mic and flat out asks Kanyon if he’s gay. Well ok then. Does Page have ANY right to ask this? If he does I certainly don’t see it. Kanyon affirms it and Page says rock on more or less. Well that came out of nowhere. I had no idea how ironic that wording was until after I typed it but whatever.

That’s Kanyon’s big claim to fame after his death: he claimed he was homosexual but wrestled in the closet his entire career. I say claimed because he said that it was both fake and real at different times (his last answer was that it was real) so there’s a chance it was a gimmick.

Kanyon was a guy who did some actually innovative things in the ring. Not a lot of his moves stuck save for the downward spiral (which I don’t think he innovated but I don’t remember seeing anyone do it before him) but he was always fun to watch. There was a ton of potential there in 1998 but since he was in WCW, he never had a chance.

Also you often hear about people dying too young but it’s true in Kanyon’s case. He was only 40 when he died of what appeared to be suicide by drug overdose. To end this on a positive note, I’d recommend you check out some of his stuff as Kanyon (not Mortis) in WCW if you want to see someone who could mix things up out there. I’ve become a fan of his while watching old Nitros which doesn’t happen often.

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