Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2003
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on Unforgiven and the big story is….well I’m not sure actually. Maybe it’s HHH vs. Goldberg? Or is it Shane McMahon vs. Kane? Or is it whatever Vince McMahon and company are up to when he crosses over to this show? Either way last week’s show was the slightest upgrade so hopefully that trend continues. The show is opening with Kane vs. Rob Van Dam inside a steel cage as the annual fight against Monday Night Football begins. Let’s get to it.

I’ve actually already done this show. Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/monday-night-raw-september-8-2003-when-the-highlight-of-the-show-is-mollys-hair-youre-in-trouble/

The cage is lowered.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Pin or escape to win (I’m assuming submission is implied). Kane jumps Rob on his entrance and the beating is on in a hurry. Van Dam gets a boot up in the corner though and the basement dropkick puts Kane down again. That just earns Rob a trip into the cage and Kane crushes his head against the steel like a violent monster should. Van Dam is already busted so Kane sends him into the cage again.

Kane blocks the kicks and throws him into the cage for the third time in a row. Rob crotches him on top though and a top rope kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder. A ram into the cage looks to set up the Five Star but Rob only hits mat. Kane is right back up with an Alley Oop onto the ropes/into the cage. To mix things up, Kane sends him into the cage a few more times, only to break the wall so Rob can fall out for the win.

And of course not because Eric Bischoff is RIGHT THERE to say it had to be over the top or through the door so that doesn’t count. Back from a break with Kane sending him back inside and sending him into the cage over and over again. The door is slammed on Rob’s head but Kane lets him climb halfway up the cage. A few kicks allow Rob to get even further, only to be pulled down for a super chokeslam and the pin.

Rating: D-. Good night this was boring. It was nearly fifteen minutes of Kane throwing him into the cage over and over with nothing changing from beginning to end. Kane is a monster and that’s all well and good, but now I’m supposed to buy Shane McMahon as having a chance against him? After this kind of destruction of a former Intercontinental Champion?

Van Dam is taken out on a stretcher.

We look at Goldberg running through Evolution last week.

Here’s Bischoff for some announcements before Steve Austin gives the State of the Raw Address tonight. First up: Kane vs. Shane is official for Unforgiven. He’s also changing a match at the pay per view. Now it’s going to be JR/King vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman with the winners being the permanent Raw commentators. As for tonight, it’s Goldberg/a mystery partner vs. HHH/a mystery partner with Bischoff picking the partners. The partners are going to be Flair and Orton aren’t they? Also, what does it say that Coach/Snow vs. JR/King is a major upgrade? That’s how bad things were looking.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

After I take a few seconds to get my eyes back in my head from seeing Jackie Gayda here, we see Storm worrying to Goldust about being called boring tonight. Goldust is proud of Storm’s progress though. Last week he was jaywalking and had a double bacon cheeseburger with extra pickles. Goldust: “And who was pleasuring themselves with a pop up book?” Storm: “That was you man.”

Storm even does the Goldust breath and actually does it quite well. Before the match, Rico tries to start the BORING chants but gets RICO SUCKS instead. Storm punches him in the mouth to start and grabs a suplex for two. A rake of the eyes cuts Storm off though and let’s talk about the Unforgiven tag match. Rico’s hiptoss into a neckbreaker gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Storm comes back with clotheslines and a kiss to Jackie (sexual assault isn’t boring) and a springboard missile dropkick puts Rico away. Storm’s celebration doesn’t work that well given the lack of music.

Bischoff won’t tell HHH who the partner will be. Given that it’s going to be Orton or Flair, I’m not sure why he won’t say anything.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Having Trish run through all the random partners like this isn’t exactly showcasing any talent or depth to the division. Molly and Jackie get things going as JR thinks the villains are jealous of Trish. Haven’t they said that multiple times already? Jackie rolls her up for two, followed by a basement dropkick for the same on Gail. A double DDT plants Jackie as King says JR needs to be taking notes.

Due to reasons of stupidity brought on by jealousy, Gail throws Jackie over for the tag to Trish. That earns her a Thesz press as Trish starts cleaning house. A headlock takeover/headscissor combination takes both villains down but they toss Trish to the floor for a painful looking crash. That’s actually enough to give Gail the pin.

Rating: D. I’ll certainly take an uninspired motivation over no motivation so the Molly and Gail being jealous of Trish story is fine enough. You can kind of tell what they’re building to with Trish’s eventual partner and there’s nothing wrong with where they’re going. If nothing else, Gail is already improving beyond “she’s a face who can do hurricanranas”. Match was nothing of course, but the crash at the end looked good.

Here’s Austin for the State of Raw Address. He chucks the podium over the top because that’s just not the Steve Austin style. Before we get to Raw though, there’s something he needs to address regarding Unforgiven. HHH vs. Goldberg is title vs. career so HHH is going to do whatever he can to retain the title. Therefore, if HHH gets disqualified, he loses the title.

Moving on, we have Kane running around like a monster and electrocuting a man’s testicles. Note for future reference: Austin shouldn’t say testicles. Anyway, that should warrant Austin whipping Kane but that’s against the rules. After a meeting with his cabinet (his liquor cabinet that is), he’s decided that it sucks and the audience poll agrees.

This brings out Christian before any announcement can be made about Kane, which is rather rude. Christian says that what really sucks is the lack of respect from Austin. He knows he’s not getting an apology and the peepulation in Huntsville is outraged over these developments. Austin: “The entire peepulation thinks you’re an a******.” Christian: “I want my own talk show!”. His win over Jericho last week shows that he’s the real thing around here, so the Highlight Reel should be turned into the Peep Show.

This brings out Jericho and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Now one would assume that’s a face turn, but Jericho immediately starts yelling at Austin. Jericho calls Austin a bully and a failure as a GM, not to mention a human being. He wants to see Austin fired every single day because the Highlight Reel can’t be canceled.

Austin doesn’t intend to cancel the show and offers Jericho a beer. Jericho is on to this game though and isn’t about to provoke Austin into beating him up. Jericho: “If you want to see me drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, give me a doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy do”. Austin: “That was the absolute worst catchphrase I’ve ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw”.

Jericho drops the beer Austin throws him though and you can tell things are getting serious. In a funny bit, Austin tosses another one from about a foot away and beer is consumed….but Jericho slaps him on the back. That means a Stunner so beer can fly everywhere, ending this segment which somehow only accomplished adding another stipulation to HHH vs. Goldberg. I mean….am I missing another point to this? Did we really need a five minute Jericho and Austin segment with the same ending that almost all Austin segments have?

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Hurricane/Rosey/Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start (shocking) with the good guys cleaning house and D-Von throwing Spike onto La Resistance. Dupree takes What’s Up and it’s already table time. Bubba and Henry have the hoss fight on the floor, leaving Rosey to double clothesline Conway and Dupree. It’s off to Spike, who actually manages to send Mark outside, where he comes up holding his leg. That’ll likely be six months on the shelf.

Hurricane comes in off the hot tag to clean house until Bubba tags himself in for a double Flip Flop and Fly. Spike chases Grenier to the back and Dupree takes a Samoan drop/swinging neckbreaker combination from the heroes. Rosey goes shoulder first into the post, only to have Conway take 3D. Mack gets a Bubba Bomb but Henry is back in with the World’s Strongest Slam to pin Bubba. You can feel the energy go out of the arena on the pin.

Rating: D. This got energetic at the end but a ten man tag needs a heck of a lot more than five minutes to go anywhere. Cut out Spike and Conway and this is a little better but still, too many people trying to do too many things. The act that La Resistance vs. the Dudleys is WAY out of gas at this point didn’t help either.

Post match La Resistance tries the double spinebuster over the top to put Spike through a table but leave him WAY too short, sending the back of his head off the edge of the table, which doesn’t break. Oh but they do put Hurricane through the table to no reaction because the fans are worried that Spike has a broken neck. So they’re boring and can’t do a table spot safely. Well done guys. But hey, at least they can get cheap anti-American heat and that validates everything.

And now, after one of the scariest looking botches you’ll ever see (though Spike seemed to be ok), let’s go to Coach, Snow and Bischoff making fun of JR and King. How many people even know they’re the Heat commentators? Better yet, why are they the Heat commentators? After that comedic brilliance, Bischoff makes a six man tables match with La Resistance/Rob Conway vs. the Dudleys at Unforgiven. Coach and Snow have something in store for JR tonight but Gail Kim comes in to want to talk to Eric. This includes shoving him into a locker and sitting on his lap. Ok then.

HHH compares Goldberg to a can of YJ Stinger (energy drink sponsor). The difference is the Stinger gets the job done and Goldberg is nothing but hype.

We look back at the cage match and Van Dam being destroyed.

Unforgiven rundown. All these matches that feel like leftovers from previous pay per views are making me think of spoiled milk.

Shane McMahon is in WWE Studios in Connecticut for an interview but Bischoff interrupts and makes Kane vs. Shane a Last Man Standing match. Again, because Shane isn’t a wrestler and can’t have a regular match. Shane: “Screw you Eric.” Eric: “I just screwed you.”

Gail, now minus the coat she had when she went to see Bischoff, adjusts her top while telling Molly that the deal went through and they’ll finish Trish next week.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Victoria, Test and Stacy Keibler are here. Steiner throws him into the corner to start but Test’s distraction lets Steven grab a neckbreaker for two. That just earns him an overhead suplex and some chops in the corner. There’s the push-up elbow but Steiner decides to bring Victoria in instead. Test gives Steiner a full nelson slam for two but the Stevie Kick is blocked. Steiner’s Flatliner is good for the pin.

Post match Steiner says Stacy should be with him again so let’s have ANOTHER Test vs. Steiner match for Stacy’s services. This time though, Steiner’s services are on the line as well. Therefore, if Test wins, Steiner has to watch Test and Stacy. That took quite the turn and that’s not exactly something I need to see.

Next up: Bischoff announcing Flair and Orton as HHH and Goldberg’s partners.

Actually we get Coach and Snow in the ring for the “comedy”. It’s the old (and bad) someone’s face on unfunny pictures with a theme of what JR could do after he’s fired. Several involve JR being some sort of woman, or a mule at the end. JR comes to the ring, gets insulted some more and punches Coach out. What is this? Four segments on a match between announcers, a part time wrestler and a commentator? Against the debut of Monday Night Football?

Goldberg doesn’t know who his partner is and doesn’t care. It’s going to be Flair or Orton. I don’t know why this is in any kind of doubt because it’s the only thing Bischoff would logically do.

Goldberg/??? vs. HHH/???

And of course the partners are Orton and Flair respectively.

No match as the beatdown is on and the cage is lowered, trapping them all inside. King of course says that means no one can get in to save them, not understanding the concept of “there is no roof”. Goldberg fights back for a bit until a chair shot takes him down. The bloody Goldberg is beaten down but falls out of the first Pedigree attempt to make this look even worse. The second one Pedigree actually works and HHH talks a lot of trash to end the show. You knew this was coming when Goldberg looked dominant last week because AT BEST he’s allowed to go 50/50 with HHH.

Overall Rating: D-. There were a few spots in there that weren’t as dark as others but that’s as good as I can go. The problem here is it felt like the punted with Monday Night Football being sure to dominate the night. That makes sense, but it’s not a good sign when so much of the show is a repeat or continuation of a story that has been going on FAR too long now. Get to Unforgiven so we can get past it because this is all bad stuff at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

So Kane is running around like a monster again and that could mean a lot of things. Well more likely it means Kane gets a big push and doesn’t win anything of note, but it’s still better than Kevin Nash. We also have Evolution back on the rise, albeit without any major challenger for HHH. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane being motivated by Steve Austin last week, turning him back into the monster in the process.

Opening sequence.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with a ticked off Chris Jericho. Enough is enough and it’s time for something to be done tonight. Raw has broken down into chaos over the last few weeks with superstars being attacked, grown men being terrified and even Jericho himself being scared. There’s one man who could save things though and that man is his guest tonight: Eric Bischoff, sporting a neck brace.

Jericho praises Bischoff’s courage for coming out here with Eric saying there was no way he was taking the suggested eight weeks off. Bischoff is back to deal with Kane, who has been running amok. He even has exclusive footage from last week with Kane attacking Rob Van Dam. As for tonight, Eric has sent JR to Connecticut to interview Kane but here’s Austin to cut him off. Austin was ready to deal with Kane tonight and if that means beating him up, so be it.

Bischoff doesn’t think much of the plan and puts the whole thing on Austin’s head for berating Kane a few weeks ago. Austin is ready to leave with no violence but Jericho opens his mouth and calls him worthless, earning a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer for. This was nearly fifteen minutes long and went pretty much nowhere.

Trish Stratus/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards/Test/Victoria

This is supposed to be a fair match? Steiner and Richards start things off, meaning it’s an early belly to belly suplex into the pushups. The women come in and Trish Matrixes into the Chick Kick for two. Test trips Trish up from the apron though and comes in for a clothesline. Victoria’s slingshot suplex gets two but a neckbeaker gets Trish out of trouble. It’s off to Nash, now billed as Big Nasty, for a big boot to Test’s face. The Jackknife ends Richards.

Rating: D. So we were really supposed to buy Test and Steven Richards as a match for two former World Champions? That’s the best they can do for a midcard match around here? The women were trying here but there was too much bad going around to really allow this to work. Well that and the uninteresting story and trying to set up what seems to be a Test vs. Nash feud.

Jericho demands Bischoff do something about Austin.

Lance Storm vs. Maven

Before the match, Storm threatens to sue the fans for chanting BORING. As weird as this might sound, Storm might be too boring to make this work. They hit the mat to start with the boring chants beginning early. Maven manages to botch a hiptoss so Storm goes down for two anyway. Storm gets all fired up and throws off his elbow pad as Lawler points out that no one has ever chanted BORING at him. We hit an armbar as the crowd just keeps dying.

Storm grabs a long chinlock to try and set something up, only to have Maven fight up with some weak clotheslines. Maven’s high crossbody is rolled thru but Maven rolls thru that for a sloppy two. The announcers aren’t exactly hiding how bad this is as Storm gets two of his own off a superkick. The Maple Leaf goes on and Maven grabs the rope before reversing the unbroken hold into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: F. It takes a lot to bring down Lance Storm, who is one of the most technically sound wrestlers you’ll find. Maven managed to do it though and that can’t be a huge surprise. Basically WWE is having a guy who would be just getting started on the indy circuit to come on Raw and have high level matches. That’s just dumb thinking and I have no idea why WWE kept putting him out there like this. You have a developmental system for a reason.

JR is ready to interview Kane.

Here’s La Resistance for a chat. They’re glad Bischoff is back because Austin held them off the show last week. Today is Bastille Day so let’s hit that French National Anthem. They’re still at it after a break until all three Dudleys, carrying the American flag, come in for the save. Grenier takes a 3D and the Dudleyz sing the Star Spangled Banner because the French National Anthem sucks.

Dudley Boyz vs. Evolution

Elimination rules. Bubba and Flair get things going with a backdrop sending Ric into his swearing fit. Ric flips Spike off to bring him in and a single slap gives us the Flair Flop. A dropkick makes things even worse but Flair pokes him in the eye to stop the nonsense. Orton comes in for his own dropkick which nearly clears Spike’s head. HHH gets in a few shots before it’s back to Orton, who is taken down this time.

Spike’s top rope double stomp connects and everything breaks down. The Dudley Dog is countered into an RKO for the first elimination and it’s looking bad for the brothers. A Doomsday Device plants Orton and Bubba splashes the other two in the corner. Maybe it’s not looking so bad. There’s What’s Up to HHH and a 3D to Orton (who shakes his head no as he’s falling into the cutter for a great touch) but Flair makes a save.

HHH is back up with a French flag shot to D-Von though and the elimination leaves Bubba all alone. D-Von leaves but Bubba calls him back to get the table. Dude GET YOUR OWN TABLES FOR ONCE! Referees cut him off though and we take a break. Back with Flair having to let go of a reversed Figure Four. Bubba fights up and hits HHH low, followed by a Bubba Bomb to Orton. HHH is laid out on a table at ringside but Flair makes a save, allowing the Pedigree to connect. Orton gets the final pin to wrap things up.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t much but they FINALLY gave Orton something here as he scored all three pins. They need to do something to make him look like a big deal and while this isn’t enough to pull the job off, it’s certainly a step in the right direction. Let him pick up the Intercontinental Title in the near future and things will be just fine for him.

Rob Van Dam tells Bischoff he wants Kane so the match is made for next week. Bischoff tells him to proceed with caution but Van Dam says he started this with Kane and next week he’ll finish it.

Jericho is gathering signatures on a petition to get rid of Austin. A bunch of people have signed but Tommy Dreamer seems hesitant.

Before the next match, Teddy Long says he and Rodney Mack signed the petition to get rid of Austin. There should be a black man replacing him, but Teddy can’t do it himself due to obligations to Players Inc. He has other ideas though, like Snoop Dogg or Johnnie Cochran.

Rodney Mack vs. Rosey

Rosey shoulders him down and hits a corner splash but Long breaks up the Samoan drop with a low blow to give Mack the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane comes in with a missile dropkick on Mack.

Evolution signs the petition.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T. vs. Christian

Booker is defending in the feud that won’t die. Some early forearms have Christian in trouble as Coach dares to question the power of the peepulation. A missile dropkick attempt is broken up and Booker is sent into the corner. Christian whips him into the steps for two and it’s time for the chinlock with a knee in Booker’s back. Booker fights up with a spinning kick to the face and a spinebuster for two as Lawler sings Christian’s praises.

We get a ref bump (here we go) and Christian hits the Unprettier for no count. A second ref comes in for the two and Christian isn’t happy with the near fall. He makes up for it with a rollup while grabbing ropes and the trunks for the pin and the title. That’s all well and good but the first referee gets up and says not so fast. Cue Austin to bring in a THIRD ref and restart the match so Booker can hit a quick ax kick to retain.

Rating: C-. I could live with this a little more if the matches weren’t so bad but these have been the very definition of average at best. The guys don’t have chemistry together and it becomes more clear every week. It also doesn’t help that there are a bunch of people who could use an Intercontinental Title feud (or even a match or two) and we’re stuck with this stuff over and over. It’s not awful but it’s been covered quite thoroughly.

Post match Christian beats up a referee so Austin runs back in for a Stunner.

Bischoff gets a call from Linda McMahon.

Kane gives JR a present but it’s left on a table for now.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Gail wristdragging her out of the corner. Lawler asks Coach what he knows about Gail’s background. Coach: “Well I know she looks good.” I know it’s only been a few weeks but they probably should have more than just that to go on. Molly gets rolled up for two as Lawler talks about liking Molly’s high estrogen levels. Gail gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by a second hurricanrana to retain.

Rating: D-. The commentary actually summed up the problem with Gail, and most of the women on the roster for that matter. Can someone tell me any details about almost any of the women? Molly is annoyed at almost everyone, Victoria is basically crazy, Trish is plucky, Jacqueline is loud, Ivory is….well her name is Ivory, and Gail is an attractive rookie. Am I really missing anything important? The match was terrible too as Gail showed the ability to do fewer moves than a banged up Kevin Nash.

JR opens his gift and finds….a gas can. If he makes fun of Kane once, he’ll be set on fire. Since security around here sucks, we go ahead with the interview. After JR sucks up to avoid a bad case of being burned alive, we see the same video that opened the show. Kane’s reactions to that: anger and hatred. He doesn’t understand why so many people want to see his face because it brings him pain.

JR brings up the lack of scars or horrible skin that Kane always talks about. Kane says JR sounds like the doctors from when he was a kid who told him to go see a shrink. The towel comes off as Kane keeps ranting about how much of a monster he is. JR says he sees a man who needs help so Kane asks him for help.

We get some Oklahoma psychiatry with JR saying no one cares what Kane looks like. That sets him off and screaming ensues, only to have Austin come into the arena to calm Kane down. I mean, I’m not sure how well that’s going to work when Austin is in Indianapolis and Kane is in Connecticut but I’m no Austin.

Kane yells at Austin and JR before punching the latter down. JR is lit on fire (I wonder if it would be wrong to ask him which kind of barbecue sauce would go best on him.) and put out rather slowly. Bischoff comes out to say this is Austin’s fault so Linda will be here to fire him next week. So yeah, a guy was just lit on fire (didn’t need to happen as Kane was nailing it before things got silly) but let’s cut back to the bickering bosses to end the show. You know, because THE GUY BEING LIT ON FIRE is totally forgettable.

Overall Rating: D. There are moments of acceptable on here but egads the bad stuff is really bad. It’s a bunch of horrible wrestling but the worse part is the lack of much of a direction. Why am I supposed to be interested in Test vs. Nash, Rosey vs. Mack and Storm vs. being boring? That’s really as good as they can get at this point? You can’t throw Goldberg out there for a squash just to wake the crowd up a little bit? A pay per view might help, but above all else they need something interesting just to give me something to look forward to on these shows. As usual, really boring show with almost nothing worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2003
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Please let Austin be back tonight. Last week was the Eric Bischoff Show with Eric restarting a bunch of matches and turning the show upside down in a bad way. The big story is Kane attacking almost everyone in sight in his latest path of rage. That might be what Austin wants though so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane being all attacky.

Here’s the returning Austin to a heck of a reaction. We even have to pause for a bit as the fans cheer him on even more. Last week he had some food poisoning to go with about six Mexican food TV dinners so it wasn’t the best night. He watched the show last week and saw Eric Bischoff take a chokeslam so tonight, it’s Austin’s show. Let’s get right to it with the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T. vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Before the match, Christian says he’ll just take the countout but Austin says the title can change hands via countout or DQ. Austin throws him inside and we’re ready to go. Booker slugs away to start and hits a big backdrop before raining down some right hands. Christian heads outside though and gets Booker to chase him outside, allowing him to get in a few shots. A hot shot onto the turnbuckle gives Christian two and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Booker scores with the side kick as this really isn’t lighting the world on fire so far. The ax kick gets the pin….with Booker’s foot on the ropes. Of course we’re restarting the match because Heaven forbid we have a match without some kind of shenanigans. Back from a break with Booker fighting out of a chinlock and getting two off a rollup. Christian slips out of a suplex but walks into the Book End for a rather close two.

Booker takes too long going up though and gets crotched, only to shove Christian down. The missile dropkick gets two but we stop for the Spinarooni. The referee blocks the ax kick for some reason though (unless Christian pushed him into the way, I have no idea what that was) and Christian gets in a low blow for two more. Christian misses a belt shot and the second ax kick gives Booker the title.

Rating: D+. These two just don’t work well together and it’s more and more apparent every time they’re out there together. Booker winning was the only way they could have gone and they did the title change just soon enough that people still cared. Not a good match here but the right call.

Mark Jindrak thanks Austin for an opportunity tonight but something has happened. Post break, Austin finds an injured Tommy Dreamer. Austin has to send the Dudleyz away so medics can work on Tommy.

JR and King talk about the Montreal Screwjob and we look at a clip of the incident. Shawn Michaels will be discussing the moment later tonight on the Highlight Reel.

Here are Theodore Long, Rodney Mack and new recruit Rosey. The man has been getting them razzle dazzled lately and he’s not happy. Last week, Jazz lost the Women’s Title without being eliminated from the battle royal. Christopher Nowinski has a concussion but they’re not going to let that get them down (Nowinski would never wrestle again and has since become an expert on concussions). Tonight though, they’re going to teach Rosey to back the mack by means of thuggin and buggin.

As Teddy talks, we cut back to Dreamer being loaded into the ambulance. Bubba goes off to find out who did it. I don’t see this ending well.

Hurricane vs. Rosey

Hurricane offers a handshake but goes with a cheap shot instead. What a villainous act. Rosey drops him with a hard shot and drops the big leg. The Samoan drop ends Hurricane in short order.

Post match Rosey turns on Long and Mack, only to get beaten down for his efforts. So to recap: Mack got squashed by Goldberg in less than a minute and now we’re supposed to be interested in his feud with Rosey? Oh and Hurricane gets squashed too. If there’s a point to this booking, I’m not seeing it.

Bubba accuses Evolution of attacking Dreamer but Orton has an alibi: he was in the back drinking a protein shake. Austin comes in and gives Bubba a tag match if he can find a partner (the other Dudleyz went to the hospital with Dreamer). Jackie Gayda comes up to say something has happened to Rico.

Post break, a bloody Rico says Kane did it.

Victoria/Steven Richards vs. Gail Kim/Val Venis

Gail gets to take off the towel, immediately making her seem a lot less important than she did last week. To make things worse, Victoria gorilla presses her down but gets caught in a hurricanrana. King: “Looks like Gail Kim likes to ride on top.” The men come in with Venis getting two off a spinebuster. Victoria offers a trip though and Steven grabs a DDT for two. It’s back to Gail for a top rope wristdrag and Richards elbows Victoria by mistake. Everything breaks down and Gail grabs a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D-. And so much for Gail. This match made her look more like a fluke who can do a hurricanrana than anything else. She debuts one week and the next week is getting involved with Val Venis? There’s no way this can end well for her and the match was disappointing to say the least. It’s good that she didn’t get pinned but she’s going to need something more to brag about than just that.

Trish Stratus is warming up when Test comes in to hit on her. She’s on his list of women who might want to hook up with him. Trish isn’t impressed so Test grabs her, which brings in Kevin Nash of all people for the save. A match is made for later.

It’s Highlight Reel time with Jericho being a huge crowd favorite for a change. Tonight, Jericho is here to deal with with someone who committed horrible actions against Canada. We see another clip of the Montreal Screwjob and here’s tonight’s guest: Shawn Michaels. Shawn says he’s apologized to Bret himself but never to the fans in Montreal. He apologizes that the whole incident ever happened but what he’s most sorry about is the fact that the fans have never managed to get on with their lives.

Only Montreal cares about what happened all those years ago (well that and WWE it seems). They’re stuck back in November 1997…and there’s the YOU SCREWED BRET chant. Shawn: “And your point would be what?”. Jericho calls him sanctimonious but Shawn wants the fans to pick something else to dislike about him. Like, you know, beating Jericho at Wrestlemania earlier this year.

Jericho insists that no one is ever going to forgive Shawn, who accuses Jericho of being Mr. Canada. Well you know that gets a face pop. Shawn is ready to go right now but Jericho turns him down because he wants a better payment not based off the Canadian dollar. Instead, he’ll face Shawn in two weeks in Hollywood. Jericho says screw Montreal and we’re out. Seriously, that’s all we get. Jericho makes the fans boo Shawn over Montreal and then gets them to boo himself for the sake of setting up a match where Shawn will be cheered in two weeks. That’s their best use of nearly fifteen minutes?

Austin finds Kane in his office and goes over Kane’s reasons for wanting to quit. He tries to get Kane to be a monster in the ring instead of backstage because that’s where it matters. Austin thinks Kane would be cheered if he goes out there, so it’s either go to the arena or be fired. Kane stands up and leaves, touching the wall with a bloody hand as he goes.

Test vs. Kevin Nash

Nash clotheslines him in the corner to start before getting in some elbows to the jaw. Test gets knocked outside but manages to post the bigger man to take over. Back in and a turnbuckle pad is removed but here’s Trish for a failed distraction. Instead Test kicks Nash in the face for the fast pin. Is feuding with Test the official punishment for a horrible main event? I think I can live with this.

Test shoves Trish down and then into the barricade.

Booker T. is very happy to win the title and leaves with Terri.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Jindrak

Jindrak has a great look but really bad, generic rock music. Jericho kicks him in the face and then scores with an enziguri as the fans aren’t exactly reacting to Jindrak. The Lionsault hits knees though and Mark comes back with some incredibly basic offense. The fans already think he’s boring so Jericho dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Mark escapes the Walls, followed by the jump to the top for a spinning clothesline. He’s certainly athletic. A low blow cuts Jindrak off though and the Walls make him tap.

Rating: D-. Oh goodness no. Jindrak has a great look and is crazy athletic but that’s the extent of his skills. I completely get why he was given this spot but it was a heck of a botched debut with Jindrak looking terrible, to the point where you would think he was fresh out of wrestling school. When Jericho can’t save you, you know it’s a bad night.

This Sunday on Heat: Maven vs……HHH? Well ok then.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

The winner gets a title shot next week. Trish is very banged up to start and of course Lawler is right there to point out the thong sticking out. Molly easily takes over to start and gets two off a Hennig necksnap. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Molly switches to ripping at Trish’s jaws. Trish comes back with a victory roll for two but Molly cuts her off with a snapmare to stay on the neck. A shoulder breaker into a neck stretch makes Trish tap.

Rating: D+. Molly’s offense made perfect sense and it’s fine to have Molly win over a very banged up Trish but there’s only so much you can do in four minutes with one of the participants barely able to move. Of course Lawler talking about Trish’s underwear made things worse but that goes without saying. Gail beating Molly should help her, though it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t get some better offense.

Kane finally agrees to go to the ring.

Ric Flair/Randy Orton vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/???

The partner is….Rob Van Dam. Rob and Randy start things off with a spinning crossbody getting two on Orton. Flair grabs the boot though and Orton gets in the signature backbreaker. Some Flair stomps set up a great looking dropkick from Randy as this is one sided so far. It’s back to Flair for the Figure Four, which gets next to no reaction. It could be because it goes nowhere other than right back to Orton to stay on the leg. Just a hunch of course.

Rob finally kicks Orton away and brings Bubba in to a limited reaction. A neckbreaker drops Randy and Flair gets slammed off the top for two. Rob comes back in with the kick to the chest as everything breaks down. Orton tries to break up the Five Star but Spike Dudley comes in to break it up, allowing Rob to splash Flair for the pin.

Rating: D. I know a crowd can carry a match to a much higher level but egads the crowd is killing anything this show has going on tonight. They do not care about what’s going on out there, though in this case it’s not like it means much. Orton can’t even get a pin over Bubba Ray Dudley? And this guy is supposed to be your big bright star of the future? Put him over someone important then.

Here’s Austin to call out Kane, still with a towel around his head. The fans kind of cheer with JR acting like it’s Foley winning the title. Austin talks about Kane getting cheered but they care about what happens when Kane is throwing people around. We see a clip of Kane chokeslamming Eric Bischoff last week, which Austin describes as funny. That’s too much for Kane, who thinks Austin is calling him funny. Kane unloads on Austin until some right hands make the comeback. Austin gets in a chair shot and a Stunner but the bloody Kane sits up. A chokeslam to Austin ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. No HHH, no Goldberg, Kane turns heel (for what feels like the second time in a few weeks), the big segment is reminiscing about the Montreal Screwjob and the best match is a nothing to see Booker T. title change (which the crowd did care for). This felt like a big punt instead of any kind of effort and it was very clear that they don’t know how to handle this lack of a pay per view. It wasn’t even the worst show in the world but rather just really boring and that’s worse in this case.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Bad Blood and thank goodness for that. Hopefully it means we’re done with Kevin Nash as a main event star though stranger things have happened. Since Smackdown will have its own brand exclusive show in September, we’re on the road to Summerslam in just over two months. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mick Foley (who promised to go back to his boring life after last night) to open things up and, shockingly enough, he’s carrying a book. Foley thanks the fans for their support and talks about returning to his normal life on June 16, which happens to be today. However, he wanted one more chance to be inside a WWE ring, though he’ll be here next week in Madison Square Garden as well. We hit the cheap plug for Tietam Brown (which I have on my bookshelf) before Foley talks about putting the Mandible Claw on HHH last night.

That made him remember who he is….but here’s Evolution, now with music (albeit not their best known song). Orton calls Foley a loser and puts over his teammates’ accomplishments from last night. As for tonight though, it’s time for Evolution to find a fourth member and Foley could be up for that spot. Foley isn’t interested in being a Four Horseman wannabe and hanging out with a sixteen year old with no idea what to do with all this testosterone. He rips into Orton for all those injuries so early in his career because he’s never shown the heart that you need to be a star in this business.

Orton says these people are here to see him because he doesn’t have to do things the way Foley did. Randy shows off the physique but Foley tells him to take his best shot. Foley gets physical for a bit but the numbers eventually get the better of him. Of all people, Maven and Al Snow run in for the save. Thankfully I don’t think this is setting up a six man tag but it was a heck of a segment with Foley selling emotion and planting some seeds for a match with Orton later on.

Eric Bischoff yells at Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, threatening to knock the latter’s dentures out. Mae is going to have a match tonight as punishment for the pie incident last night.

Gail Kim is coming.

Dudley Boyz/Ivory vs. Rodney Mack/Jazz/Christopher Nowinski

The good ones clear the ring to start with Bubba throwing Ivory over the top onto Jazz. Bubba has to fight out of the corner but an elbow hits Nowinski’s mask and Mack takes over. The Bubba Bomb cuts Nowinski off though and everything breaks down in a hurry. Jazz gets shoved down and there’s a double flapjack to Nowinski. Ivory goes up top to play D-Von in What’s Up and Nowinski eats 3D. A rollup gives Ivory another pin on Jazz.

Rating: D+. How many times does Ivory get to pin Jazz before we get Jazz beating her in the title match because even WWE isn’t stupid enough to put the title on Ivory? I really could go for getting that over with and getting on to some fresh talent. Gail Kim would help a lot, assuming they don’t just add her to the rotating cast of uninteresting characters.

You can vote on who will be added to Evolution. Test is an option.

Kane and Rob Van Dam have a rematch for the Tag Team Titles but Kane isn’t thrilled. See, it was Rob’s fault last week so if they lose tonight, they’re done as a team.

Music video on Bad Blood.

Foley, Maven and Snow (in a Hurricane shirt) are annoyed at Evolution. Maven has Orton tonight and Foley will be out there with him.

Evolution is watching the next match to scout talent.

Garrison Cade vs. Lance Storm

What did I do to deserve this? Also, they couldn’t call him, I don’t know, George Cade? Or ANYTHING but Garrison? Maybe Mackey Cade? Before the match, Austin comes out and says BORING over and over while laying down on the stage with a pillow and blanket. He’s tried watching the grass grow and watched the paint dry but maybe this could put him to sleep. The camera stays on Austin as he hammers away, only to get dropkicked by Cade. Austin leads the BORING chants and Lance comes back with a leg lariat for two.

We hit an armbar as Austin is starting to snore. He’s having a dream where Storm is wrestling….which means it’s a nightmare. Now he’s waking up and he realizes it’s not a dream. He says everyone is asleep and the distraction lets Cade grab a rollup for the fast pin. Someone is going to have to explain this Austin making fun of/ripping on the wrestlers thing to me as we had Kane a few weeks back and now this. How does this help anyone? I mean, Austin doesn’t exactly get anything out of it either but it’s twice now that he’s treated another wrestler like garbage. It’s not like they have the talent to spare at the moment either.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Goldberg/Booker T.

Booker goes after the Canadians before Goldberg comes out but thankfully he doesn’t waste time with the full entrance. I’d have gotten a good laugh if he had though but thankfully sanity prevailed. Jericho is sent outside in a heap and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with Jericho bailing out to avoid the legal Goldberg. A thumb to Goldberg’s eye slows him down but he’s right back with a neckbreaker.

Goldberg clotheslines both of them as this is basically dominance whenever Goldberg is in. Booker comes in for a kick to the face and some chops against the ropes. Some cheap shots from the apron has Booker in trouble though as Evolution’s scouting continues. Things slow down with a chinlock but the twisting rollup out of the corner gets….countered into a failed Walls attempt. Booker kicks him away and makes the tag to Goldberg, which really doesn’t get much of a reaction.

A very delayed gorilla press powerslam gets the fans back but Christian breaks it up at two. Christian saves Jericho from the spear so it’s back to Booker as everything seems ready to break down but doesn’t quite get there. Instead Booker has to dropkick Christian out of the air, only to get caught with the Lionsault. Now the spear connects, only to bang up Goldberg’s bad shoulder. Christian brings in the Intercontinental Title, which Booker takes away and uses to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style tag match here, which was a lot more than I was expecting. Goldberg looked like a killing machine here and Booker looked fine, though it’s not the best use of your Intercontinental Champion. Would it have been the worst thing in the world to have Jericho lose here? Or to have Goldberg do what the fans want to see him do and just break a few people? Good match though.

Long recap of the pie eating segment from last night.

Mae Young vs. Test

An angry Bischoff is out for ring announcing. And no match of course as Austin comes out to make Scott Steiner guest referee (JR: “FINALLY SOME FAIRNESS HERE!” No JR, no that’s still not fairness.), only to have Test give Mae a pumphandle slam before Steiner can come out to even things up. I still never need to see the pie thing again and Moolah/Mae being used for anything other than bad comedy would be in the same category.

Rico is in the back for his match and now he’s even more over the top, with moisturizer and sparkle glitter (his words) along with Miss Jackie (Gayda), which is quite the upgrade as I was always a fan.

After that debut (complete with “IT’S RAINING RICO!”), let’s look at Mae being destroyed again.

Austin wants to see Van Dam and Kane.

Rico vs. Spike Dudley

Rico takes him down with a few kicks and a neckbreaker gets two. Some stomps in the corner have Spike in more trouble as the announcers talk about anything other than this new gimmick. We hit a seated full nelson to keep Spike in trouble, followed by a middle rope ax handle for more of the same. The BORING chants begin (Who could have guessed that would have caught on from earlier?) as JR and King try to figure out if Rico and Jackie are dating. Spike is put on top but bites Rico’s head, setting up a double stomp to the ribs. Jackie offers a distraction though and Rico finishes with a spinning kick.

Rating: D-. Yeah this isn’t the biggest surprise but this gimmick is dead in the water. It’s WWE’s version of being funny when Rico has the potential to be a heck of a star on his own. But instead we’ll go with the stupid jokes because that’s what got Rico over so hard in the first place. Bad match and a bad sign for Rico as well.

Austin yells at Van Dam and Kane, saying DO IT FOR AMERICA.

Maven vs. Randy Orton

Foley and Flair are at ringside. Orton easily takes him down to start as JR thinks Randy could be a star with a slight attitude adjustment. That’s more accurate than he could have known. Maven gets in a dropkick to put Orton on the floor but the hanging DDT gives Orton two. A hard whip into the corner has Maven in more trouble and a northern lights suplex gets two.

Maven fights out of a chinlock as Lawler accuses Foley of ripping him off for some illustrations in a book. JR completely ignores that to talk about Van Dam and Kane, making me think there’s a coverup. Orton’s dropkick gets two but Maven avoids a charge in the corner. A middle rope bulldog gives Maven two as Foley gives Flair Mr. Socko. Maven gets two more off a high crossbody but the RKO (so weird to have it get no reaction) puts him away.

Rating: D. Not terrible and better than the boss yelling about a match being boring but there’s a reason that Maven wasn’t around very often. It’s understandable when you consider he was only a few years into the business at this point but he never really got much better. You can see Orton’s potential shining here though and a lot of his signature stuff is starting to pick up.

Foley tries to start a post match fight but the villains run.

Test, Jericho and Kane win the fan vote about who will be in Evolution.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

La Resistance is defending after winning the titles last night. Kane throws Rene Dupree around to start and choke drops Sylvan Grenier for a bonus. The champs are sent outside and Rob hits a running dive (which seemed like it was supposed to include a flip) to take them both down again.

Back from a break with Van Dam in trouble and Rene grabbing a chinlock. JR stays on his rants against France, including the classic “if you don’t like America, get out”. Grenier comes in for a bow and arrow hold until Rob fights up for the hot tag off to Kane. The top rope clothesline misses though, which Lawler thinks is impressive. Kane chokes Grenier in the air for a top rope kick to the face in a spot that was cooler than I thought it would have been.

Things settle back down with Van Dam scoring two off a dropkick. Rene is back in with a Death Valley Driver but now the top rope clothesline connects. A thumb to the eye cuts Kane off though and the double spinebuster plants him on the floor. Back in and the double spinebuster is countered with a double DDT (didn’t look good and wasn’t clear until the champs stayed down) for two. Rob goes up but gets shoved onto Kane, who chairs Rene in the head for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but WAY too long as it felt like it should have ended five minutes earlier. Kane snapping again is interesting, though I could have gone for more of Kane and Van Dam as a team. At least we have some new champs who have proven they can beat the old champs, though it’s still not the most thrilling stuff in the world.

Post match Kane destroys La Resistance with chair shots and a chokeslam….so here’s HHH. The champ says he respects Kane, unlike Van Dam. Right here tonight, HHH is offering Kane a spot in Evolution. As HHH gives his sales pitch, here’s Austin to interrupt. HHH and Austin bicker a bit until Austin gives Kane a title shot next week in Madison Square Garden. This brings out Bischoff to say if Kane loses, he loses the mask. Kane chokeslams HHH to accept the match.

Overall Rating: D. You know it really is amazing how much easier this was to sit through without having to deal with Kevin Nash. Kane isn’t a great opponent but at least he can move around and the fans might buy him as a threat to win the title. Unfortunately there’s not much else to cheer for on this show, save for the good tag match in the middle. When you have Austin yelling about how boring Storm is, you can only get the show so far. Evolution is starting to have some potential though, which is a good sign as it’s likely going to be the biggest story on the show for a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 2, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re less than two weeks away from Bad Blood and things are looking more and more dismal every single week. Things just aren’t interesting around here and there’s no reason to suggest that’s going to change. The big story continues to be Kevin Nash vs. HHH for the World Title and that’s what we’re stuck with no matter what. Let’s get to it.

Rock, here for the Highlight Reel, arrives and talks about being here for the people, turning himself face again. Since the fans never wanted to boo him in the first place, it’s not the most difficult turn in the world.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Ivory/Jacqueline vs. Jazz/Victoria/Molly Holly

Molly still has a job? It’s a good thing she does as the dark hair is quite the look for her. It’s a brawl to start with Victoria forearming Trish and choking her up against the rope. The Matrish causes Victoria to clothesline Molly by mistake and Ivory dives onto Molly and Victoria in a big crash.

The double chickenwing faceplant drops Trish again though and we hit a camel clutch/Boston crab combo for a heck of a visual. King: “That was arousing.” Trish grabs a neckbreaker on Jazz and brings Jackie in to no reaction at all. Ivory comes back in with a high crossbody for two on Jazz as everything breaks down. An X-Factor gives Ivory the pin on Jazz.

Rating: D+. They were trying here but they couldn’t get over the complete lack of interest from the crowd. Jackie and Ivory haven’t been interesting in the better part of ever and throwing them into the title hunt isn’t going to do anything. They need someone new in a hurry as Trish, Victoria and Jazz have been done to death at this point.

Goldberg arrives.

JR has a cookbook. It’s title: JR’s Cookbook. You can vote on WWE.com if you think it’s going to be a best seller or a flop.

Stacy Keibler finally dumps Test but they’re contractually obligated to stay together. Does anyone really buy Test saying “contractually obligated” in day to day talking?

Hurricane comes out for a match but Randy Orton jumps him from behind. Cue HHH and Ric Flair as Orton throws Hurricane through the entrance. Flair is honored that he was Shawn’s boyhood hero but Flair has seen hundreds of Shawn’s come and go. Flair takes off the jacket and rants about how Shawn hasn’t spent $30 million, made love to 3,000 women and wrestled 350 matches a year. To be the man you have to beat the man and HHH beat the man. Uh, didn’t HHH beat Shawn to win that title?

Anyway Flair lays down and prostrates himself in front of HHH before saying HHH makes women scream very loudly. After HHH beats Nash down, Flair is going to take care of Shawn (So HHH won’t be main eventing?) and they’re getting in a limousine full of women. Cue Shawn to say he owes a lot to Flair but he’s not the little boy sitting in front of the TV watching Flair every week.

Shawn has wrestled 300 nights a year (Flair said 350) and doesn’t need to brag about women. His wrestling does the talking and he took the torch from Flair. When Ric realized he couldn’t make it here, Shawn took the title and showed the world that he was the standard in wrestling.

There’s so much wrong with that timeline that I’m not even going to bother explaining it so we’ll move on to Shawn being awesome in the ring. Flair freaks out again as Shawn promises to take him to school at Bad Blood. HHH wants to fight right now but here’s Nash to even the odds a bit. Hurricane sneaks in and hits Orton with a chair so the good guys can stand tall. Flair and Shawn’s stuff was outstanding here and the other stuff was nowhere near bad enough to drag it down.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Steiner has Stacy with him but Richards doesn’t have Victoria. Test comes out as well and the distraction lets Richards get in a cheap shot from behind. Scott slugs away in the corner and there’s a belly to belly. The Flatliner ends Richards in short order.

Post match Eric Bischoff comes out and makes Test vs. Steiner for Stacy’s managerial services at Bad Blood. So Bischoff’s rulings can override contracts? Why do I have a feeling that’s not going to be used again when Bischoff would benefit from it?

We get some breaking news that Freddie Blassie has passed away.

The bosses are in their office and Austin makes Evolution vs. Michaels/Nash/Hurricane for tonight’s main event. As for Bad Blood, they agree to a Redneck Triathlon.

Goldberg is in the back for an interview but we see Jericho throwing paint on the car. That’s on Goldberg for leaving it out in the open like that. Goldberg runs out, gets in the car (which was already running) and gives chase.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Christian guest hosting. Therefore, tonight is the Peep Show and the first guest is the Rock. We get the full entrance and Rock loads up FINALLY but Christian cuts him off and does it himself. Christian says he’s the new people’s champion and on fire. Rock: “YOU ARE ON CRACK!” Rock doesn’t want to hear that and says Christian’s daddy is a ho. Christian: “He’s a pediatrician!”

Christian talks about how awesome he is but Rock wants to talk directly to the people. He actually goes into the crowd, asks some fans who the real People’s Champ is and loads up the catchphrase but Jericho returns to cut him off. Jericho says he isn’t getting speared on Sunday so he asks Rock what it feels like.

Rock calls out some fans for saying he sucks, saying that he gets more pie in a day than they get in a lifetime. Well true probably. The spear hurts, which is all Jericho wanted to know from the pie boy. Christian jumps him from behind but it’s Booker making the save. House is cleaned in a hurry and we get a People’s Elbow from Booker. We’re not done yet though as Rock even busts out a Rockarooni. This was WAY longer than it needed to be, especially with only the Rock vs. Christian stuff being funny.

Post break, Christian and Jericho try to leave but Austin says they’re not going anywhere yet.

Kane vs. Rene Dupree

Kane slugs away in the corner as Lawler recaps recent events between France and the USA with JR running down the French military. Sylvan Grenier distracts Kane and Dupree gets in a kick to the face. That just earns him a side slam but Van Dam kicks Grenier down. Van Dam gets knocked down so Kane goes after Grenier instead, allowing Rene to hit a low blow for the rollup pin. This was pretty bad as Kane looked way off.

Post match here’s a ticked off Austin to tell Van Dam to head to the back. Austin wants to know what’s up with Kane as of late. He’s been watching the last few weeks and Kane is missing everything. Where’s the fire? Does Kane even want this anymore? That’s all it takes to beat him these days?

Austin was waiting on the big chokeslam but now he has to come out here and tick Kane off. He spins Kane around and smacks him in the face before even putting Kane’s hand around his throat. Kane backs away from the chokeslam though, sending Austin into a rant about the old Kane who beat him for the WWF World Title. Austin loads up another chokeslam on himself but Kane lets him go again.

A slap to the face seems to fire Kane up as he grabs Austin by the throat (Austin: “DO IT! DO IT!”) but Kane lets him go for a third time. That’s finally enough for Austin who lays Kane out with a Stunner. This is how one of the CHAMPIONS is treated on the show. I have no idea what they were going for here but unless Kane was in backstage trouble (which would be way out of character for him), this was a really bad idea and a big waste of time.

We get a Matrix style video as Gail Kim is coming. Works for me.

A smiling HHH leaves the referee’s locker room. Post break, HHH tells Evolution that he has a plan that could get him out of the Cell match.

Booker T./Goldust vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Booker clotheslines Christian to start and gets two off a slam. We take a way too early break and come back with Jericho cranking on Booker’s arms. Christian comes in but let’s talk about Goldust wanting to get breast implants back in the day. Booker flapjacks his way to freedom and it’s off to Goldust to clean house with some right hands and an atomic drop.

Everything breaks down and Christian gets caught in the corner, only to have Jericho save him from Shattered Dreams. A blind tag brings in Booker for a side kick but Christian rolls him up for two despite grabbing the rope. Canadian miscommunication sets up the ax kick though, giving Booker the pin on Christian.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a way to set up Booker vs. Christian at the pay per view and there’s nothing wrong with that. It might not have been a great match or anything but after Austin berating Kane and the way too long Rock segment, I’ll take whatever I can get at this point.

Post match Jericho hits Booker with the Intercontinental Title but Goldberg runs out, only to spear the referee by mistake.

The referees come to see Austin and Bischoff, saying they won’t referee the Cell match because it’s too dangerous. Austin has an idea because he knows someone crazy enough to referee the match. Fans: “FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!”

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/The Hurricane/Kevin Nash

Orton and Shawn (in a hat and shirt for some reason) start things off with Shawn headlocking him down and taking off the extra gear. Hurricane comes in and does Shawn’s pose as the arena is rather full of pyro smoke. A clothesline gives Hurricane two but he gets caught by Orton’s still sweet dropkick. HHH, in purple this week, comes in and beats on Hurricane as the announcers praise Nash.

It’s off to Shawn to start on HHH’s arm but Flair sneaks in a chop block to take over. Orton stays on the leg as things slow down. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t die down, as they’re already eerily silent. The villains take turns on the leg, including Flair’s shinbreaker into the Figure Four. Nash makes the save though and Shawn gets in an enziguri for the real break. It’s off to Orton vs. Nash (which actually doesn’t sound like the worst match in the world) but Kevin gets his hands on HHH a few seconds later. Flair is busted open (From what????) and Nash takes down the strap, only to have Flair save HHH from a Jackknife.

Hurricane hits Orton with a high crossbody and the Shining Wizard gets a weird two (it looked like Hebner’s count brushed against Orton’s shoulder). HHH comes back in with a Pedigree to Hurricane to give Orton…I’m not sure what to call it actually. Hebner counts two, stops like he’s checking if Hurricane’s shoulder is on the mat (it clearly was) and calls for the pin without counting three. Hurricane clearly lifts his head to see what’s going on during Hebner getting up as the fans are really confused/annoyed.

Rating: D. I’m still trying to figure out that ending. Hurricane was obviously just there to take the fall and could have been almost any given midcarder. Losing to the World Champion in a six man tag is hardly career death though and it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal though is Nash main eventing the upcoming pay per view, which is somehow losing the non-interest it already had.

To calm the fans down, Nash Jackknifes HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s ONLY passing because Rock/Christian and Shawn/Flair had some outstanding promos. Other than that, this show was nothing short of a mess as HHH vs. Nash continues to burst into flames as it bounces on the rocks beneath the cliff it flew off of last month. Between that and Austin Stunning Kane for whatever reason, I’m trying to figure out why I kept watching this show back in the day. Another terrible show here as their priorities get more and more out of whack every week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 12, 2003
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final Raw before Judgment Day and the big matches are Goldberg vs. Christian inside a cage and Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash. Both of these matches are Steve Austin’s ideas, which makes me think that Austin might want to stick to the being retired thing as he’s not the best match maker in the world. Let’s get to it.

Austin’s picture now appears after Bischoff’s in a funny visual.

Christian is inside the cage to start things off, saying that this match doesn’t need to be taking place. No one wants to see the new People’s Champ get battered and bruised. On top of that, he has an important photo shoot tomorrow and shouldn’t come in all banged up. This brings out Austin to say there’s nothing like the feeling of a good old steel cage. Goldberg isn’t even here yet and the match is still on.

Christian saw Austin in the back earlier and was told he was on first. It was actually a different finger and Austin repeats it here. Christian thinks Austin might be jealous of Christian being friends with the Rock because it was Rock who beat Austin at Wrestlemania. We get Austin’s new “I’m trying very hard not to lose my patience” line which isn’t working for him as a new catchphrase.

Instead, he threatens to take Christian out of the Intercontinental Title battle royal but Rob Van Dam interrupts. Rob is going to be in the battle royal but Christian thinks Rob should fight Goldberg instead. That’s not cool with Austin so Christian asks the fans for a CHRISTIAN RULES chant. Austin: “That silence means you suck.” He’s not cool with his material being ripped off and threatens a Stunner as well.

This brings out Kane to enter as well, though Rob threatens to eliminate him to win the title. Austin likes the tension and thinks the way to cure it is another beer bash. Now it’s Bischoff coming out to interrupt because there won’t be a beer bash tonight. Instead he has some challenges for Van Dam and Kane’s Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Legion of Doom

As a huge Legion of Doom fan, I remember this one rather fondly. Animal kicks Rob into the corner to start but gets monkey flipped for his efforts. Hawk comes in and gets kicked in the face, only to come back with a hard clothesline. Another kick allows the hot tag to Kane as house is cleaned in a hurry. The top rope clothesline drops Hawk and Rolling Thunder connects as well. Animal makes the save and loads up the Doomsday Device but Rob ducks the clothesline. A chokeslam into the Five Star puts Hawk away.

Rating: D. This was…short. The Legion of Doom were a nice surprise and it’s nice to see the champs get a rub from them but it’s kind of sad to see them losing in a nothing match. At least the fans reacted to them, though that’s going to be the case with any older wrestler in Philadelphia.

Victoria and Steven Richards threaten to take away Trish’s looks in their hardcore match tonight.

We get the short version of last week’s way too long brawl between HHH and Kevin Nash.

Chris Jericho and HHH insult Philadelphia sports teams and discuss torn quadriceps. HHH says Jericho skyrocketed to the top of the wrestling world because he tore HHH’s quad. I really don’t know how to respond to that. Anyway HHH wants Jericho to injure Nash tonight.

Goldberg arrives in a long black limo. That’s so out of character for him. Someone tries to run him over but only hits the door.

Teddy Long tries to talk Austin into giving Rodney Mack a spot in the battle royal. You need a man of color in there. Austin agrees and gives Booker T. the spot instead.

Rodney Mack vs. Ken Phoenix/Mike Phoenix

This is a DOUBLE White Boy Challenge. Ken is better known as Kenny Dykstra/Doane (17 years old here) and Mike is his real life brother. Mack throws them around to start and plants Mike with an STO. A cobra clutch knocks Ken out but Mack throws him down before the match is stopped. The second cobra clutch on Mike is good for the quick tap.

Bischoff has no comment on the Goldberg incident but runs into Freddie Blassie of all people. Freddie is here to plug his new book and calls Bischoff a rather rude name. Rico comes in to ask if Bischoff has any ideas to fix 3 Minute Warning. Bischoff has an idea and sends Rico off. He tells Blassie to meet him inside for something he has in mind. Blassie: “What are you going to do? Hang yourself?”

Austin comes up to a livid Goldberg and asks what’s up. He knows what it’s like to be hit by a car and asks if Goldberg saw the driver. Goldberg didn’t but he’ll take it out on Christian.

Blassie comes out but Bischoff cuts off the big introduction and sends Mrs. Blassie to the back. Eric plugs the book and asks Blassie how old he is. Freddie says 23 but Bischoff thinks Blassie has about three more minutes. Bischoff wheels him to the ring where Rico and the Samoans are waiting. This brings out Austin to say one of his new big ideas is to unsuspend the Dudleys.

Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning

The bell rings which would suggest a match but there’s no referee so that doesn’t seem to mean anything. 3 Minute Warning is quickly dispatched and Freddie says get the tables. One 3D through a table to Rico later and beer is consumed. That feels like them just bailing out on a story that wasn’t working and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Christian vs. Goldberg

Inside a cage and Christian brings a chair for protection. It turns out to be the same chair that Rock used to beat Goldberg down a few weeks back. Christian throws the chair at him which goes as well as you would expect. The beating is on in a hurry as Goldberg slowly starts taking him apart. Some chair shots get Christian out of trouble but he can’t get over the top just yet.

Christian misses a spear of his own and he bounces off the cage so Goldberg can slowly walk around some more. One heck of a cut has blood flowing down Christian’s head and a powerslam makes things even worse for him. The spear and Jackhammer end Christian without too much effort.

Rating: D+. Christian’s cut looked good and Goldberg was more like himself than usual here but it wasn’t even seven minutes long and there was no reason for this to be a cage match. It’s not a bad match or anything but Goldberg is just nothing in WWE at this point and this didn’t make it any better.

Flair sucks up to Austin and reminds him that HHH runs Raw. Austin isn’t convinced so here’s Hurricane to sing Kevin Nash’s praises. Ric yells but Austin tells him to shut up. Let’s have a match right now, starting in the back.

Ric Flair vs. Hurricane

You know Flair isn’t going to wait to sucker punch Hurricane and the fight is on in a hurry. They slug it out for a few seconds before heading into the arena with Hurricane being knocked over the announcers’ table. The fight heads to the ring and Flair’s pants come down because that’s always funny (allegedly). A backdrop and a high crossbody give Hurricane two and there’s a chokeslam for good measure. Hurricane adds a strut and the Shining Wizard for a close two. Flair gets in the chop block though and a Figure Four puts Hurricane away.

Rating: D+. I could have gone without Flair’s pants going down but the match was pretty much exactly what you would expect. I’m not sure what the point is in having Hurricane, in gear, losing clean to Flair in street clothes but they’ve done dumber things as of late. It’s hard to get annoyed at Flair winning though as it’s hardly an important match.

Post match HHH has to come in and make Flair break the hold, followed by a Pedigree to Hurricane.

Scott Steiner/Test/Goldust vs. La Resistance/Christopher Nowinski

Before the match, the French guys rip on America for being war mongers and claim Nowinski is the exception to the rule. The brawl is on in the aisle until it’s Test hammering on Grenier in the corner. Goldust comes in for an atomic drop and a powerslam before handing it off to Steiner. The pushup elbow wakes the crowd up a bit and it’s back to Test, who gets beaten down in short order. Nowinski grabs the armbar for a few seconds before it’s back to Steiner as everything breaks down. Goldust cleans house and it’s the reverse DDT to end Nowinski.

Rating: D. In a word, this story sucks. Test and Steiner aren’t interesting as a team and La Resistance is as simple of an evil foreigner team as you can find. It doesn’t help that you can pretty much guarantee that the French guys are going to be Tag Team Champions soon enough, just for the sake of pushing the anti-Iraq War stuff a little while longer.

We run down the pay per view card. This looks really bad.

Jericho doesn’t think much of Goldberg but on Sunday, he’ll become Intercontinental Champion again. Tonight though, he’ll take care of Kevin Nash.

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Hardcore match in Philadelphia so here’s Tommy Dreamer to cancel out Steven Richards. Trish forearms away to start and goes to the weapons but has to sunset flip her way out of trouble instead. Victoria finds a cookie sheet and they mess up a spot where Trish tries to kick it into her face. That’s fine as they just pop up and do it again, making things look even worse the second time. Victoria is right back with the spinning side slam but Trish Matrixes away from a trashcan lid shot.

The Chick Kick knocks the lid into Victoria’s face but she comes back with a leather strap for whipping and choking. Naturally, JR talks about bondage magazines. Victoria chokes her in the corner but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. The guys get in fight on the floor, leaving Trish to score with a kendo stick shot, followed by Stratusfaction for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual, but that’s the case with most of the women from this stretch. We’ve seen them all fight so many times, including these two in the same kind of a match about six months ago. They need some fresh blood in the worst way as we’ve just covered everything that could possibly be done. It also doesn’t help that they were missing a lot of their spots, making this more sloppy than memorable.

Kevin Nash vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho tries to jump him to start but gets swatted away by Nash’s cat-like reflexes. A right hand to the head drops Jericho so Chris starts going after the leg (which HHH totally inspired of course). Jericho charges into an elbow and gets kneed out to the floor as I’m still trying to figure out why I’m supposed to care about Nash. A chop block cuts Nash down as you can’t fault Jericho’s logic.

The leg is wrapped around the post but Nash gets in a side slam as this match is killing the crowd in a hurry. As in there was just no reaction to one of his biggest moves (and it’s not like he has many others to pick from). Jericho is right back with the bulldog and a Lionsault for two. There’s the big boot but HHH and Flair come in for the DQ, though the bell doesn’t actually ring.

Rating: D-. Just for that non-reaction to the side slam alone. The fans are absolutely not caring about Nash but that’s never stopped them from going in a certain direction before. Jericho was trying here and the leg stuff was fine but there’s not much you can do whtn the fans don’t care in the slightest.

Shawn Michaels runs down to help and the good guys clean house with Shawn counting pins to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The Legion of Doom were a nice surprise to start things off and it’s just all downhill from there. I can’t think of a single positive thing about this show and the whole show is just uninteresting and bad. I’m really not sure I can make it that much simpler: it’s not good wrestling and the stories are even worse. Anything interesting would be an upgrade at this point as I just need something to hold onto with these shows. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,166
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the show that was voted on for the annual redo and I can’t say I’m complaining. The show was instantly revered and it held up when I watched it the second time. We’ve got a double main event with Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title and CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar in the Best vs. the Beast. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and we still have the full Shield entrance (no Reigns/Rollins here) through the crowd, which is still just cool. A shoulder drops Rob to start and Dean grabs a hammerlock as it’s a slow pace early on. Rob clotheslines him into a headlock but charges into a boot to the face for two. A neckbreaker gives Dean the same and we hit the neck crank as we’re somehow four minutes into this.

Ambrose gets in a running dropkick and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. Rob kicks him down to set up the Five Star but Rollins and Reigns come through the crowd, rendering him completely incapable of jumping. Big Show and Mark Henry show up as well though, putting us all even as we as we take a break.

Back with Dean grabbing a chinlock and sending Rob outside. That means a staredown on the floor as Henry and Show earn those paychecks and DVD royalties. Rob drops Dean on the barricade and hits the spinning kick to the back. A rollup gives Rob two back inside but he walks into a good looking spinebuster for two. Dean misses a top rope elbow but Rob has to go after Rollins instead of Five Starring. Rolling Thunder crushes Dean and it’s Five Star time, only to have Reigns spear Rob down for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty sad way to start the show as you would expect a lot more from these two. Ambrose was a very natural arrogant heel but Rob was just going through the motions. It didn’t help that the big plot point, Show and Henry, did NOTHING here and Reigns interfered anyway. It’s never a good sign when you can completely take people out of a match and it changes nothing but that was the case here. Really disappointing outing.

And now on to the mai…..IT’S LESS THAN THREE HOURS!!! Oh sweet goodness happy days are here again!

Here’s the Miz, your host for the evening and still a face here, to open things up. He explains the two main events, just in case people stumbled in here expecting a free car wash. Fandango and Summer Rae (dang) cut him off and dance around him. Miz: “Really? Really?” Anyway, welcome to Summerslam.

The opening video talks about how the stars are out tonight and has a bit of a grainy look to it for a unique visual. As you might expect, the two main events receive most of the attention. Of note: the instrumental background music would become Akira Tozawa’s theme.

JoJo sings the National Anthem, which was a plot point on Total Divas because Total Divas is creatively bankrupt.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire like an inferno match but you win by regular means. It’s also Wyatt’s in-ring debut, which is kind of gobsmacking. Kane unloads on him in the corner to start as the arena is much darker than usual to show off the flames. A clothesline drops Wyatt and the flames go over the top rope.

Kane gets in a suplex for the same result as Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are panicking on the floor. The fact that they’re there more or less guarantees they find a way to interfere, thereby making the gimmick worthless. Wyatt hits a running splash in the corner and hammers away on the mat. A big boot to the…..arm maybe drops Wyatt and there’s the sidewalk slam for no cover.

Harper tries to grab a kendo stick but it gets caught on fire, sending an overzealous fireman to put it out. Rowan takes his extinguisher but can’t get rid of the flames. The chokeslam plants Wyatt for no cover as Kane would rather do it again, likely so Harper and Rowan can figure out a way inside. They find a fireproof….something and get inside for the big beatdown. Rowan splashes Kane and Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:48.

Rating: F+. This was WAY worse than I remember as it was literally just killing time until the ending. The ending was as telegraphed as it could have been and there was never any drama. Instead of actually having a match, this was a mental exercise for the Family and that’s REALLY not how you want to debut someone with the kind of potential Wyatt has.

Post match the Wyatts crush Kane with the steps and carry him off to film See No Evil 2.

The Kickoff Show panel wastes a minute of our time.

We see a Paul Heyman promo on the Kickoff Show, talking about how in reality, David would have thrown a stone at Goliath and then taken the beating of a lifetime. As a bonus, tonight’s match is No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners until Sandow won the Money in the Bank briefcase (it’s still the brown one which looks like a Hershey bar) in the surprise for the sake of swerving the fans who KNEW Cody was going to win (which he was). Before the match, Sandow says he was the leader of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight, he’s sending Cody back to the Rhodes Family so they can be dumb and dumber. Cole’s big plug for the entrances: watch the JBL and Cole Show to find out why Cody shaved his mustache!

They start fast with Sandow shoving him into the corner but getting backdropped. The gordbuster gives Cody two but a legsweep sends him outside. Back in and some knees to the back set up a bow and arrow hold. Sandow has to fight out of an early Cross Rhodes attempt and drops the Wind Up Elbow for two. I know Sandow has the charisma but dang it’s not working in the ring.

Sandow puts on a standing leglock for a few moment before switching to just rubbing Cody’s face in the mat. Cody catches him on the top though and it’s something like a Muscle Buster for two. A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Sandow but he comes right back with a running flip neckbreaker for the same. Cody nails the Disaster Kick for the near fall, followed by Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: C+. They were working hard out there and had a good match but it’s very clear that Sandow is in WAY over his head with the briefcase. I don’t think anyone really bought him as a main eventer at this point and his pretty worthless TNA run doesn’t exactly change the theory that it was the stunt double gimmick that was so good and not him.

Video on Christian, who is back for one more run at the World Title.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Christian is challenging. Del Rio has Lillian Garcia introduce him in Spanish, which isn’t quite a heel move in a major Hispanic market. Alberto grabs a headlock but gets slapped for his efforts, followed by the back of the neck snap across the top rope. That’s fine with him though as he puts Christian on the top for a heck of a running enziguri to put Christian in the Tree of Woe.

Del Rio starts in on the arm by sending it into the barricade and it’s off to an early armbar. A top rope double stomp to the shoulder makes it even worse, but not as bad as it would be with the top rope double stomp out of the Tree of Woe. The champ misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor to give Christian a breather. Back in and Del Rio dives into a raised boot, followed by a middle rope missile dropkick for no cover. The high crossbody gets two but Christian is holding the arm.

It’s too early for the Killswitch so Christian goes up, only to get pulled off the middle rope with a Backstabber in a cool spot. A middle rope backsplash doesn’t work for the champ but he’s still able to block the spear (which Christian should NEVER use) with a dropkick. Del Rio takes down his kneepad but gets rolled up for two more. Now the spear connects, only to have the shoulder give out. That means a cross armbreaker and Christian taps (rather surprising) at 12:30.

Rating: B. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting, which I think is what I said when I watched this the first time around too. Christian was a great choice for a challenger at this level as he’s going to have a good match no matter what. Unfortunately this was about it for him as he would only wrestle a few more matches in 2013, then come back for another short run to start the new year, ending with a concussion that caused his retirement. It’s a shame, but probably for the best as you don’t want to mess with that area.

Post match Del Rio says the Mexican people need an idol and his name is Alberto Del Rio.

Clips from Summerslam Axxess, which has never come close to matching the Wrestlemania version.

Miz (oh yeah he’s here) talks to Maria Menunos, who won in a tag match at Axxess. Fandango and Summer Rae dance in again but this time Miz and Maria show them up with some dancing of their own. Did you know Maria Menunos of some entertainment show is here? If you don’t, you will when this is all over that show.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

No story of note here, but Cole introduces the two of them as “some of the stars of Total Divas”. Just in case you thought Summerslam was the point here. Naturally more cast members are at ringside and sweet goodness I forgot how annoying this era was for the women. Feeling out process to start as Natalya tries to do any kind of wrestling with Brie. They finally go with the slapping until Natalya sends her outside for a baseball slide. The JBL and MICHAEL COLE chants start up and there’s the JERRY chant to complete the trio.

Brie grabs a chinlock and the fans want tables. A jawbreaker gets Natalya out of trouble and she grabs the Sharpshooter until Brie slips out and sends her hard into the corner. We get the required catfight on the floor and it’s time for a Zack Ryder chant. The yet to be named BRIE MODE knee seems to wake Natalya up as it’s the Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 5:18.

Rating: D-. The match could have been so much worse but the story, or lack thereof, had this thing doomed from the start. This was back at the start of the Total Divas era and fans hadn’t gotten sick of the show yet. They don’t get along on Total Divas for whatever nonsense reason the writers have come up with so here’s a short match between them. Not horrible but sweet goodness could we please get the tiniest bit of effort?

Earlier today, Ryback poured soup on a catering worker.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and I begin to smile. This is mainly about Punk vs. Paul Heyman, who had been Punk’s supporter for years. Then Punk started to change his attitude and told Heyman that he wanted to do this by himself. That wasn’t cool with Heyman, who cost him the Money in the Bank ladder match. Punk went after Heyman so Brock Lesnar returned to be Heyman’s muscle. The match was set with the great tagline “The Best vs. The Beast.” Do you need much more than that?

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot but Brock Lesnar coming down the aisle is one of the scariest sights in wrestling. Punk charges right at him and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders. A hard whip sends Punk into a different corner as the fans are trying to stay behind him. Punk’s strikes have almost no effect (Punk not being able to strike with an MMA guy? I’m sure that won’t be an even bigger joke three years later.) and Brock easily stomps him down in the corner.

Punk gets in a kick to the jaw and a pair of running knees knock Lesnar outside for a suicide dive. That’s exactly the kind of hope spot that the fans needed to get back into this but Lesnar cuts them off by slamming the steps, which are in Punk’s hands, straight into Punk’s face. Punk http://onhealthy.net/product-category/mental-disorders/ posts him though and scores with the clothesline off the barricade, only to make the mistake of going after Heyman.

One heck of a toss sends Punk over the announcers’ table as there’s not much of a way around that kind of power. That’s not good enough though as Brock throws him over the other table, just so it won’t feel left out. Lesnar jumps into a stomp onto a piece of the table onto Punk before sending him flying off a belly to belly (leaving a big sweat stain on the floor).

Back in and Lesnar fires off more shoulders to the ribs and we hit the bearhug. An elbow to the nose staggers Brock for a bit but he knees Punk hard in the ribs to put him down again. It’s back to the bearhug as they’re doing a good job with cutting off the hope spots. Punk kicks away but dives right into a fall away slam to cut him off again. A chinlock lasts for a little while until Punk fights up and bites the ear to escape.

Punk FINALLY drops him with a series of kicks and the running knee in the corner makes it even worse. Lesnar catches a running knee but Punk escapes and high kicks him down, setting up the Macho Elbow (looked awful, almost more like a sideways splash) for a pretty hot two. Neither finisher can connect so Punk kicks him in the head again and Brock goes down from a single shot. You don’t see that every day.

The GTS is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. A powerbomb doesn’t break the hold so Brock lifts him up again, shrugs off the elbows to the head and PLANTS Punk with a running powerbomb. The fans are INSANE for Punk but Brock cuts them off with the most vicious Three Amigos you’ll ever see. Brock very slowly heads outside to grab a chair so Punk dives onto him, only to land on the chair, which lands on Lesnar to put both of them down.

It’s Punk up first with the chair though and he wears Brock out….until Lesnar just takes it away from him. That’s fine with Punk as a low blow gets him out of trouble (Punk: “WHERE’S YOUR CUP NOW UFC BOY???”) and freaks Heyman out all over again. Punk takes the chair up top and drops something like a Macho Elbow for two more. A few more chair shots have Lesnar in trouble until Heyman takes it away.

Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to block the F5 (smart) and it’s the GTS but Heyman makes the save for the false finish of the year. Reality sets in on Heyman (as only it can) and he realizes there’s no Brock to save him. Punk gives chase but runs into the F5, which he counters into a tornado DDT for two more. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Punk lets it go to cut Heyman off. A big right hand drops Paul, only to have Lesnar BLAST Punk with the chair. The F5 onto the chair finally ends Punk at 25:18.

Rating: A+. I gave this Match of the Year and I’m certainly not changing that now. This was a total war with Punk shocking the heck out of me by taking Lesnar to the limit. If nothing else, this is the textbook example of how to book Lesnar vs. a smaller guy. You even have Punk saving some face by having Heyman interfere so often. It’s an outstanding match and easily holds up four years later.

As I mentioned a few times, Punk was giving the fans just enough hope spots to keep things going. No one was going to buy Punk hanging in a fist fight with him (nor should they have bought it with HHH but that’s a long issue for another time) but they could buy him getting in a few shots here and there and giving it all he had. That’s wrestling storytelling in a nutshell and it was as entertaining as it could have been. If not for Punk vs. Cena in 2011, this would be Punk’s WWE masterpiece.

Punk pulls himself up and gets the hero’s ovation. It’s a shame that he would be gone in four months.

A fan agreed to trade tickets to a house show for three tickets to Summerslam and Summerslam Axxess if he took a splash from Mark Henry. Oh and he gets to sit ringside (meaning in front of the announcers’ tables for the next match). Well gee I wonder if that’s a hard decision.

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn

Former partners/couple who split up and absolutely no one is interested here. The guys start things off and it’s an early belly to belly to drop Ziggler. We hit an early abdominal stretch with a stomach claw thrown in as a bonus. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the too early to be a hot tag brings in the women. AJ spin kicks Kaitlyn down for two and it’s off to a cravate.

Back to back neckbreakers give AJ….an opportunity to dance around the ring, allowing Kaitlyn to kick her away. The hot tag brings in Dolph for another dropkick and his jumping elbows. Big E. is right back up with a powerbomb backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making a save. A charge hits post though and Kaitlyn spears AJ in half on the floor. The Big Ending is countered and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 6:42.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here and were in the death spot, which doesn’t work very well when they’re doing a TV match. It’s not terrible or anything and Kaitlyn spearing AJ is always entertaining. They were still getting ready to launch the Women’s Revolution down in NXT so this was about as good as you were going to get from the women at this point. Big E. vs. Ziggler kept going for a good while but never went anywhere, which is why New Day was the best thing that could have happened to Langston.

Fandango interrupts Miz again and finally gets punched out.

The Kickoff Show panel goes over their main event picks and talk about some of the show.

We recap John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan. Daniel had been on the roll of a lifetime and Cena was allowed to pick his challenger for Summerslam. Cena selected Daniel Bryan but Vince McMahon was suddenly against Bryan as the top star. It was clearly Bryan vs. the establishment and as a bonus, HHH will be guest referee for the title match. I’m sure nothing will come of it.

Bryan vs. Cena was built up as a big fight as well with Bryan calling Cena a phony who wasn’t here for the wrestling. Cena said he’s had his share of great matches but he’s had them while holding the WWE World Title. Bryan is the best competition around but the best isn’t going to be good enough.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging, Cena has a baseball sized amount of fluid in his elbow which is going to force him to leave almost immediately after this show, and HHH is guest referee. Cena headlocks him to the mat to start but Bryan armdrags him off. The test of strength drives Bryan down again but Cena can’t break his bridge in an impressive (and surprising) power display. The threat of a YES Lock sends Cena bailing out to the floor and we take a breather.

Back in and Bryan easily takes him down for a surfboard, only to have Cena kick him away without much effort. Cena kicks him into the steps and suplexes him off the steps for good measure. If quiets the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants for a few seconds but they’re quickly replaced by the YOU STILL SUCK chants. At least they’re consistent in their hatred. Back in and Cena powers him away again before countering a hurricanrana attempt with a sitout powerbomb.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Cena powers up and fires off some kicks in the corner. Cena fights up again and tries the finishing sequence, only to have the Shuffle broken up with a kick to the face. The second attempt works a bit better though and is good for two but Bryan kicks him in the eye again. Cena is starting to sport a black eye but Bryan wisely starts going after the arm. A quick STF attempt is countered into an STF from Bryan but Cena makes the ropes.

The AA is countered straight into the YES Lock and Cena is in trouble. He powers out again so Bryan slaps on a guillotine as Cena just can’t shake him off for good. The hold is finally broken and Bryan is a bit surprised, allowing Cena to grab a quick AA for two. Cena heads up but Bryan is right there again with a superplex. Bryan hangs on and pulls himself back up for the Swan Dive and a very near fall.

The suicide dive is blocked with a hard forearm and now the top rope Fameasser is good for two. With a one and one record up top, Cena tries it again, this time loading Bryan up for a super AA. Bryan tries a super hurricanrana to counter but Cena counters into what looked like an attempt at a Styles Clash, only to drop Bryan SQUARE ON HIS HEAD with a scary sounding thud.

The STF goes on but breaks down a bit with Cena winding up on his side, allowing Bryan to flip over into the YES Lock. Cena makes the rope again so Bryan goes back to the strikes with the running corner dropkicks. That’s fine with Cena, who turns Bryan inside out with the hard clothesline. NOW the fans are into both guys and there’s no reason for them to not be.

They slug it out until a double clothesline puts both guys down for another breather. Cena slaps Bryan hard in the face so Bryan does the same right back but Cena powers him up for the AA. That’s countered into a hard DDT though and Cena is in trouble again. One heck of a kick to the head drops Cena and Bryan debuts the running knee for the pin and the title in a shocking finish at 26:55.

Rating: A+. Yeah this worked too. The fact that Bryan pinned him clean was the completely correct call as the win is what matters, not the title itself. Bryan looks like the biggest star in the world now and this is confirmation that WWE sees him as a top name. The fact that it was an outstanding match helps things even better, but that ending is still perfect. Bryan beat Cena down and then hit a finisher to pin him. What else could he possibly ask for? Well, save for what came at Wrestlemania of course but sweet goodness this was outstanding stuff.

Cena stares Bryan down but shakes his hand. Pyro and confetti go off….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Randy holds up the case at ringside so Bryan says bring it. Orton turns around and walks away, leaving HHH (who called the match right down the line and was a complete non-factor) to turn on Bryan and lay him out with the Pedigree.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Faster than I can type Orton is challenging (ok not really), he wins the title at 8 seconds.

The crowd is eerily quiet as HHH hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Everything that needed to be great was WAY beyond great and everything else was as forgettable (and thankfully short) as it needed to be. The whole thing that matters here are two matches combining for over fifty minutes (remember that it’s less than three hours long) and they’re both instant Match of the Year candidates. This show is an absolute classic and well worth checking out for the last great pre-Network shows.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2014 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

What is up with that opener? I really liked it that much earlier on?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/18/summerslam-2013-a-star-is-born/

And the 2014 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2013-2014-redo-what-a-difference-a-year-makes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a pretty big show with the blowoffs to two amazing feuds. The headlining act match is CM Punk vs. John Cena in a champion vs. champion match and the rematch to their masterpiece a month earlier. The match I was more excited about though was Christian vs. Randy Orton in one of the most underrated feuds in recent years. Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays the national anthem.

The opening video talks about a domino effect, triggered by CM Punk winning the Raw World Title back in Chicago at Money in the Bank. As a result, Vince McMahon was stripped of power (for all of a few months) and John Cena became the other Raw World Champion. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion and nothing else is worth talking about.

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Awesome Truth/Alberto Del Rio

Mysterio had beaten Miz to win the vacant Raw World Champion so Miz attacked him on Raw to help set this up. This is in during the full on Cole Love Miz period and the annoyance begins early. Before the match Miz complains about not being on the show but here’s R-Truth to complain about various letters. He doesn’t like spiders and Summerslam or Cee Lo Green performing so S and C are on his bad list. Cue Alberto (Mr. Raw Money in the Bank) to cut him off and we’re finally ready to go.

Morrison and Del Rio are both WAY over here but it’s Kofi vs. Miz to get things going. A double flapjack with Morrison helping out plants Miz and we get stereo nipups. Morrison gets all fired up to hammer on Truth because their partnership from a few years ago just means nothing to him. Everything breaks down for a bit with Morrison being knocked off the top rope to change control.

Miz grabs the chinlock but gets kicked in the head to knock him silly. It’s back to Kofi as things speed up and the SOS counters the Skull Crushing Finale for two. Everything breaks down for a bit and Miz hits a Diamond Cutter into a 1%er for two. I’m still not wild on that move but Kofi’s selling made it look better. The heels start taking turns on Kofi with Del Rio starting in on the arm and mocking Kofi’s clapping taunt.

Miz gets two off a clothesline as Cole sings his praises, even listing off Miz’s high school accolades. A double stomp allows the hot tag to Rey, who comes in to a roar. Mysterio starts cleaning house but Del Rio breaks up a double 619. Morrison dives onto Alberto and Truth takes the 619, followed by a top rope splash for the pin at 9:36.

Rating: B-. Take six guys and give them ten minutes to have a fun opener. I like a good six man tag and it can accomplish multiple goals in a short span. For some reason though WWE feels that the only kinds of matches you can have are singles, regular tags and triple threats so we don’t get enough of something like this. If nothing else it gave the fans a lot to cheer about in a short time, meaning they’re ready to go early on. Well done indeed.

Executive Vice President of Talent Relations Johnny Ace (you get tired just listing his job title) wants CM Punk to publicly apologize for embarrassing him on Monday. Punk says he’s sorry and offers a big grin but he turns around to see Stephanie. The champ insults the men in her life but she doesn’t seem phased. Stephanie: “But what would I know? I’m just Vince McMahon’s clueless daughter.” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” Stephanie offers a handshake for luck but Punk says no because he knows where that hand has been. WHY CAN NO ONE BURN STEPHANIE LIKE THIS TODAY???

We recap Mark Henry vs. Sheamus. This was during Henry’s rampage over everyone in his path and his Hall of Pain period. No one was left for him to beat so Sheamus, a heel at the time, came out and simply said “I’ll fight him.” I still really like that line as it sums up everything and gives you a reason to like Sheamus in two seconds. Simple, yet effective.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoves him around to start but Sheamus comes back with knees to the ribs and forearms to the back. The Irish Curse attempt is easily shrugged away though and Sheamus is tossed outside. Back in and Henry does the running crotch attack to the back of Sheamus’ head, followed by a backbreaker for your run of the mill heel offense.

An over the shoulder backbreaker keeps Sheamus in trouble but Henry misses a Vader Bomb. That means it’s time for forearms to the chest but a double shoulder puts both guys down. Sheamus is up first and the Brogue Kick knocks Henry to the floor. Ever the not that bright good guy though, Sheamus goes out after him and gets driven though the barricade for the countout at 9:22.

Rating: C+. I like that finish a lot as they made Sheamus look like a real threat with the Brogue Kick and then didn’t have him get pinned. The important thing here though was Henry looking unstoppable as he was on the way to the World Title soon after this. Smart booking here and everyone comes out looking like they should.

Christian has an insurance policy for his match against Randy Orton. It’s going to be a summer blockbuster and he’ll be like Harry Potter. Orton on the other hand will be like Cowboys and Aliens: an overrated, overproduced and overhyped flop. Hey now that movie was underrated.

Cee Lo Green does his mini concert for reasons I don’t understand. Bright Lights, Bigger City is catchy though. Some Divas come out to dance during Forget You.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly is defending in your standard Barbie vs. monster feud and has Eve Torres in her corner. Beth on the other hand has Natalya. Kelly goes straight after her to start and fires off some forearms in the corner to send Beth outside, followed by a middle rope cross body to the floor. Back in and Beth knocks her out of the corner to take over before we hit a quick chinlock. An over the shoulder backrbeaker (good move for Beth) has Kelly in trouble and Beth ties her in the Tree of Woe to make it even worse. Kelly gets knocked around in the corner but counters the Glam Slam into a victory roll to retain at 6:33.

Rating: D+. Total squash for the most part here with a fluke ending, albeit the same fluke ending to almost every Kelly vs. Beth match ever. Kelly certainly got her push because of her looks but she was getting much better in the ring near the end of her career with matches like this one being far more watchable than some of the disasters that the division hard around this time.

Stephanie leaves John Cena’s locker room. For some reason we have to see the Cena logo twice for the announcers to catch on.

R-Truth is annoyed about getting ripped off so Jimmy Hart of all people offers his managerial services. Truth agrees but realizes that Jimmy is named….uh, Jimmy, and freaks out. Ron Artest and his daughter are shown watching for a worthless cameo.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

Fallout from Money in the Bank where Bryan won by knocking Barrett off the ladder. Bryan doesn’t have his Flight of the Valkyries (yes Flight, which was the name of his WWE theme instead of Ride) theme song yet and it’s really weird to have it missing. Daniel starts in with the kicks and works on the arm as Booker talks about Daniel’s diet.

Bryan fights out of a wristlock and dropkicks Barrett down before bending Barrett’s shoulders around in a variety of painful looking ways. The running dropkick in the corner and a running kick to the chest, only to walk into the yet to be named (or at least not named here) Winds of Change. Barrett fires off his knees in the ropes and kicks Bryan out to the floor.

Back in and we hit the chinlock before Daniel escapes the Wasteland, setting up a running knee off the apron. Barrett’s pumphandle slam doesn’t work and it’s time for the yet to be named YES Kicks. Again, those chants really add a lot. The guillotine goes on and Barrett gets taken down into the LeBell Lock, only to reach over to the rope for the break. Bryan gets crotched on top though and Barrett hits a quick Wasteland for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B. I still really like this match as it’s two guys beating on each other for the better part of twelve minutes until one of them can’t get up again. Barrett was the bigger star at this point as Bryan really was just a guy in trunks at this point, albeit one with a huge upside. Sometimes you just need a good wrestling match without a lot of meaning behind it and that’s what you got here.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Randy Orton in a feud that has been going on for months. Christian lost the title less than a week after winning it and then wanted one more match. Orton eventually lost the title via DQ at Money in the Bank, setting up the rematch here with No Holds Barred. This is one of the best feuds in a long time and would have won Feud of the Year had it not been for Cena vs. Punk. It was perfectly put together and one great match after another. The two of them had chemistry together and that’s the most important thing you can do.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Christian is defending and this is no holds barred but first the champ has a big surprise for everyone as he brings out Edge. After an insane ovation, Edge thanks the fans but reminds them that he can never compete again due to his neck injuries. He was kind of glad that he left when he did though because it opened the door for Christian to become champion.

Christian lost the title five days after winning it and then complained about it for week after week. He just whined until he got his way and then won the title via disqualification. Edge might have done some dastardly things in his time but he did it with some style. Somewhere along the way, Christian became a disgrace to himself. Edge isn’t going to help him tonight and leaves Christian all alone.

Orton starts hammering away in the corner and backdrops Christian to set up the circle stomp and a knee drop for two. They head outside but Christian is smart enough to run away from an RKO through the announcers’ table. Christian grabs the title and runs into the crowd but Orton easily catches him (hint: it’s the guy in wrestling gear carrying a big gold belt) and sends it back inside.

The champ sends him shoulder first into the post (completely legal remember, even though you’ll almost never hear it called a DQ in the first place) to take over. It’s kendo stick time as we hit the standard street fight tropes. Christian misses a shot though and has to settle with an elbow to Orton’s jaw. There’s an interesting story here with Christian not being able to pull off the cheating but doing just fine with the wrestling. Orton grabs a rollup for two but gets caught in a spinebuster for the same.

It’s kendo stick time again but Christian dives into a dropkick to the ribs to keep up the subtle story. Orton can’t get in a stick shot either as the no holds barred rule hasn’t played a big role yet. The elevated DDT is countered into a Killswitch attempt which is countered into Orton’s backbreaker. He can’t hit the Punt but Christian can’t crotch him against the post as Orton uses his legs to pull Christian face first into the post instead.

Now it’s time for the real weapons as Orton pulls out some tables but Christian gets in a shot from behind and sets one up on the floor. Back in and Christian goes up top, only to get superplexed down onto an unset table for a unique spot. It also gets a near fall but that’s not as important. That table is set up in the corner but Christian has to counter the RKO by sending him to the floor. Orton sends him knees first into the steps, only to have Christian send him head first into the steps.

Next up it’s a monitor off Orton’s head to knock him onto the announcers’ table. Like any cocky heel would do though, Christian tries an RKO but gets caught in the real thing through the table for a double KO spot. Back in and Christian gets two off a Killswitch and you can hear the fans going nuts on the near fall. Well deserved too. With the table still looming in the table and another one at ringside, Christian opts for two chairs.

That’s enough for Orton as he takes one away and cracks Christian over the back, followed by a second one to send the champ off the apron and through the first table. Orton brings in the steps and some trashcans but Christian avoids a stomp onto the steps. He can’t avoid a powerslam through the table or a DDT onto the trashcan as this is getting brutal. Christian blocks the RKO with a kendo stick shot, only to have Orton hit another one a few seconds later to win the title back at 23:43.

Rating: A. I love this feud and the matches get better and better every time. There was a great story here of Christian being able to compete in the wrestling but being in WAY over his head against Orton, who has that evil streak in him. This started off as more of a wrestling match with Christian poking his toe into the violence but then embracing it full on, only to be destroyed by the more violent Orton. It’s a great story with a great match to go with it and that’s as good as it gets.

Video on WWE taking over Los Angeles for the week, including an Axxess.

We recap John Cena vs. CM Punk in a narrated video. Punk won the Raw World Title from Cena last month in a masterpiece, only to leave the company with the title immediately after. Cena won the title a few weeks later but Punk came out that night (good thing he just happened to be there), setting up a champion vs. champion match to see who really is the best man. Ignore the fact that they already established that fact at Money in the Bank when Punk beat him in the first place. Due to Punk leaving under Vince’s watch, the Board of Directors replaced Vince as boss with HHH, who Punk hates in general.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and HHH is guest referee. As expected, Punk is now a mega face and gets a big old pop, much to HHH’s annoyance. Cena on the other hand is booed out of the building as you kind of have to expect as well. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock for that horribly blatant spot calling. Punk was on a roll at this point but he was as bad as Shawn Michaels at hiding that stuff.

The dueling chants start up and sound even louder than usual, as they should at a major show. Now it’s Cena working a headlock into an armbar before Punk hits a leg lariat for two. Cena takes him down into a chinlock as this is firmly in first gear over five minutes in. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. True but at least he still is a wrestler and not someone who has been waiting two years for a UFC fight.

Punk finally escapes and puts Cena down for a breather, earning a loud CM PUNK chant. Off to a body vice as this match seems to be collapsing under the weight of the expectations from the previous match. Back up and Punk snaps his throat across the top rope to block a superplex attempt, followed by dropkicking Cena out to the floor. That goes nowhere so Punk grabs a seated abdominal stretch, only to have Cena power up into a spinning slam for a breather. Fans: “FRUITY PEBBLES!”

The finishing sequence is countered by Punk’s headlock takeover but he gets caught in the ProtoBomb. Punk comes right back with an enziguri and a Koji Clutch (I love that move) which is countered into an STF which is countered into the Anaconda Vice (Not a key lock Booker. Learn your details.). That actually gets some near falls until Cena reverses into a crossface to continue this pretty awesome sequence. Punk gets to the ropes and sends Cena outside for a suicide dive to put both guys down again.

HHH, who has been a total non-factor for the first fifteen minutes, gets to nine but can’t bring himself to finish the countout. Instead he throws both of them back inside and it’s time for the big strike off. Cena takes over with a dropkick and the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip and kick to the head for two each. Cena’s sitout powerslam gets the same, as does Punk’s middle rope bulldog.

A very weary Punk’s springboard clothesline is countered into the STF but they haven’t traded enough finishers yet. Speaking of finishers, Cena gets two off the AA. The GTS gets the same result with Punk staring up at HHH in shock. Punk comes up holding his knee though but drops the top rope elbow for two anyway. Cena pounds Punk down but eats a running knee to the face, setting up the GTS for the pin at 24:08, despite Cena’s foot clearly being on the rope.

Rating: B+. This match would be remembered so much more fondly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had such a masterpiece just a month earlier. They had to try and follow that up and it just couldn’t be done. The screwy ending didn’t help things, just like having HHH out there for the sake of waiting on a screwy finish that doesn’t seem to mean much since this is a night when instant replay doesn’t exist.

HHH applauds Punk post match and raises his hand before leaving. Punk poses….but here’s Kevin Nash through the crowd to lay Punk out. That means Alberto time and here we go.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk is defending and loses the title to an enziguri in eleven seconds.

A quick celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. This show is nothing short of excellent with only the Divas Title match being short of good (and seeing Kelly Kelly in shorts is never a bad thing). Orton vs. Christian is great stuff with a great story, the main event is awesome, Barrett vs. Bryan is a hidden gem, the crowd is white hot all night and the rest is all worth watching…..until you get to the ending.

That’s where the show falls apart as not only did the ending only make limited sense here but it would turn into one of the biggest messes anyone had seen in a few short weeks. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get his rematch next month because he was busy jobbing to HHH in the main event of Night of Champions.

Oh and Nash? Yeah he sent himself a text message telling him to come out there right then because he wanted one more crowd reaction. That’s how they followed up on the potentially hottest angle in years: Kevin Nash sent himself a text message and HHH pinned CM Punk, setting up HHH vs. Nash, who never fought Punk in this whole thing. Such is life in WWE, or out of WWE actually and you can’t blame Punk after all that.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Awesome Truth/Alberto Del Rio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2016 Redo: B-

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2016 Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2016 Redo: A

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B+

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2016 Redo: A

I think we can call this my definitive thoughts on the show as the ratings were almost identical in the last two reviews. Definitely check this one out.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2011-a-screwy-ending-isnt-a-bad-thing/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after No Way Out and that means it’s time to start things shifting towards Wrestlemania. HHH defeated Scott Steiner last night to end their feud (thank goodness) and now he needs a new challenge for the titles. Other than that we have Steve Austin back tonight and it should be interesting to see how he holds up as a full time guy instead of someone just back for a stand alone appearance. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a very banged up Eric Bischoff to say he’s still standing even after Austin beat him up last night. As for tonight though, Austin is banned from the building, meaning he’ll miss tonight’s 20 man battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. Austin will be dealt with next week though when Bischoff has a special welcoming committee waiting on him. Even though Austin isn’t here tonight, Bischoff has a special surprise: THE ROCK! It must be Wrestlemania season if they’re ignoring the exclusive roster statuses like that.

Rock isn’t pleased with the mixed reaction and says that he’s FINALLY come back “Toron…..Toron…..to run his mouth all over” these people. Rock advises us to not boo until you hear what he has to say. Last night he did Vince a favor by taking care of Hogan, in return for being able to go wherever he wanted. Rock wanted to go to Raw in Toronto, Canada. The fans cheer of course so Rock rips them apart for cheering over something so stupid. Rock: “YAY! HE SAID TORONTO! THAT’S WHERE WE LIVE! SHUT UP!”

He wanted to come to Toronto because it’s where the people turned on the People’s Champion. Last year at Wrestlemania, 68,000 of you mother Canuckers booed the Rock out of the building. That strikes up a Hogan chant so Rock has to slowly explain that this isn’t Smackdown. Rock wasn’t about to forget last year, if that’s what these people think. Then again, it doesn’t matter what they think.

Then at the Raw Tenth Anniversary, they gave the Superstar of the Decade Award to Steve Austin. There’s only one Superstar of the Decade and hes “stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada cause the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK!” The fans get in whatever insults they can and Rock is just basking in the hatred.

He’s even going to enter the battle royal tonight and go on to Wrestlemania. Rock loads up IF YA SMELL but cuts them off in a rather deep voice. Rock: “YOU CAN’T SING ALONG WITH THE ROCK! NO! NO! NO MORE!” The Rock and the Rock alone gets to say IS COOKIN to wrap up one of the most amazing heel performances you’ll ever see.

This was nothing short of outstanding with Rock completely destroying the entire arena in the span of ten minutes. He took some of the simplest ideas that makes a face promo work and turned them around on the fans with the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK clearly cutting them deeply. Rock came into this with complete confidence and sold every word of it to the point where he was suddenly the biggest heel in years. Watch this if you haven’t seen it and take notes.

Jazz vs. Jacqueline

Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. They slug it out to start and head outside with Jackie taking over as Lawler is confused by Jackie’s chest tattoo. Back in and Jazz gets two off some clotheslines and loads up a powerbomb. I’m not completely sure what happens next though as I think Jazz tried to drop her backwards and face first onto the mat but Jackie might have tried to reverse into a sunset flip, leaving her to just drop off to the side in what looked like a botch. Jazz takes her down by the leg and puts on the half crab into the STF for the tap.

Post match the lights go out and Trish makes her return to beat Jazz up. She was gone in the first place? Victoria tries to interfere and gets kicked in the face.

We see Test arriving at a Girls Gone Wild shoot. For some reason JR didn’t know what GGW was despite the Girls Gone Wild boss showing up on Smackdown. Test goes to a club to pick the finalists for Miss Girls Gone Wild and shows off that awesome charisma (or he might just be really drunk).

Test and Maven are watching the clip with Test saying it makes up for all the stupid stuff Stacy has done. Apparently she didn’t know what GGW was and isn’t happy about it. Cue Stacy to accuse him of doing a few things he shouldn’t have been doing. Chief Morely comes in and makes Test/Stacy vs. Chris Jericho/Christian.

We recap Goldust being electrocuted.

JR sits down with Goldust for his first comments. Goldust talks about Booker T. having his back…..while randomly shouting and making noise because he now has Tourette’s Syndrome. I’m assuming someone finds this funny and I’m not sure I want to see anything else they perceive as humor.

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps on Kane’s back for a choke and is quickly clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and a big boot sets up an elbow drop for no cover as this is one sided for Kane so far. Kane charges into a boot in the corner and eats a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Back to back chokeslams end Storm in a hurry.

Randy Orton’s shoulder is healthy (99% at least) and he’s back in the ring tonight.

Randy Orton/Batista vs. Booker T./Scott Steiner

Booker chops at Orton and forearms him down, only to have Flair trip Booker up to take over. Steiner chases Flair away but Batista comes in to work over Booker. Flair holds Booker in the corner so Orton can hammer away, only to have Booker fire off the kicks to get a breather. A Flair distraction lets some double teaming bring Booker back into the corner though and we hit the bearhug.

Orton grabs a chinlock, only to have Booker fight up and hit the ax kick (Not the Spinarooni JR. That’s bad even for him.). More double teaming keeps Booker in trouble so Steiner finally comes in without a tag and cleans house. Flair gets caught in the Recliner but Batista makes the save and spears Booker down. Orton adds the high crossbody but Booker rolls through for the pin.

Rating: D. Not a very good match but the really telling part here is the fact that Steiner never actually tagged in. The night before he was wrestling on pay per view for a World Title and he couldn’t even get into a tag match here. You can tell they’ve completely pulled the plug on him and I’m actually surprised they even let him stand on the apron instead of swapping in ANYONE else, or just making this a singles match.

We recap Rock entering the battle royal. As in we show a fifteen second clip of it.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy is in a cutoff Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts so the sympathy is really turned up. Test leaves her on the ramp (Why not leave her in a hotel somewhere?) and charges in but Stacy gets on the apron anyway. Jericho pulls her down to send her face first into the apron and the double teaming begins. Chris grabs a chair and blasts Test for the DQ in less than 80 seconds.

With Test down, Jericho handcuffs him to the ropes and puts Stacy in the Walls. Jeff Hardy tries to make a save but gets beaten down, leaving Shawn Michaels to make the real save. Christian really didn’t need to be there at all, save for making the odds a bit stronger. The silence for most of the beatdown segment was rather telling to put it mildly.

Post break Jeff is still in the ring when Christopher Nowinski comes out to call him a failure. Those are wrestling words.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowinski

Jeff hits him and drops the Swanton for the pin at 13 seconds. Actually hang on as Jeff beats on Nowinski post match, drawing a reversal of decision.

Van Dam and Kane are ready for the battle royal but don’t agree on who should win after they get rid of Rock.

Speaking of Rock, he’s in a somewhat cramped dressing room and tells someone on the phone that Austin can come see him next week. Rock gets off the phone and grabs his guitar but cue Hurricane of all people. Hurricane chastises him for ripping on the people and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rock wants to know who he is but realizes that it’s the Hamburgler.

He’s not impressed though because any superhero could beat Hurricane, even Aquaman. Rock: “Yeah the dude that talks to the fish.” Hurricane knows he could beat the Scorpion King though. ROck: “OH NO YOU…..!” Hurricane asks if Rock can fly and promises to make him fly over the top rope tonight. He leaves but Rock insists that losing to Brendan Fraser was just a special effect. Good stuff here as Rock clearly has no issue working with people way beneath him, which so many people can’t say.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

No DQ so just get the interference ready now. Morely hammers away to start as JR points out how much experience Lawler has. Lawler gets in a clothesline and knocks Morely outside as the YOU SCREWED BRET chants start up. Back in and Morely grabs a spinebuster to set up the Money Shot for no cover. Instead he goes for a chair but Hebner kicks it out of the ring for no apparent reason. Cue the Dudleys for a 3D and Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is the second match of the night that made it to five minutes and they certainly didn’t make use of the time. I have no idea what the point is in having the announcers fighting Bischoff’s lackey but it’s getting really annoying in a hurry. Lawler can work a brawl just fine but couldn’t this be used for ANYONE else who could use a rub? Lawler is a legend and won’t be wrestling full time so who does this really help?

Evolution is ready for the battle royal and Orton wants Booker T.

Battle Royal

Chris Jericho, Al Snow, Booker T., Batista, Christian, Jamal, Rosey, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam Rodney Mack, Scott Steiner, Steven Richards, Test, Hurricane, Tommy Dreamer, The Rock

Winner gets HHH at Wrestlemania. Jericho and Christian bail to the floor as Test gets in. A bunch of people go after Rock to star, leaving Jericho to dump Test. Geez bad night for him. Test goes back in and Jericho eliminates himself to run into the crowd. Van Dam kicks Jamal out and Rock gets rid of Dreamer and Maven.

Richards is out next as the crowd is rather silent. Again. Evolution gets rid of Van Dam, followed by Snow and Mack being eliminated. Hurricane slugs away at Rock but gets kicked low for his efforts. That’s enough to get rid of Hurricane but Booker throws Rock through the ropes to the floor. They brawl on the outside (neither are eliminated) until Rock goes up and joins commentary.

Rock talks about JR’s barbecue sauce as a production guy pokes his head out from underneath the stage in a funny visual. Orton backdrops Hardy out but Steiner gets rid of Randy. Batista gets rid of Steiner and Booker gets rid of Batista, leaving us with Booker, Christian, Kane, Rosey, Rock and Storm. Rosey and Storm of all people team up to beat on Kane as Rock mocks JR’s hat.

Kane gets rid of Rosey and shrugs off some of Storm’s horrible right hands. They’re bad enough that Kane throws him out and Booker takes a chokeslam. Now Rock heads back to the ring and gets rid of Kane and Christian. Booker chops away but gets caught in a DDT. Rock loads him up but Booker reverses and throws Rock out for the completely clean win and the title shot.

Rating: D. Just a bad battle royal here though the ending was a good call. Booker is the kind of guy who could get a major rub out of a win here and an even bigger one out of the Wrestlemania match. Eliminating Rock like he did was a perfect way to wrap things up as well, making this a good ending to a bad match.

Overall Rating: D. Let me make this clear to start: everything good about this show has to do with the Rock and everything bad has to do with almost everyone else. Rock is the ONLY good thing going on here and the lack of Austin was really bad. HHH wasn’t there either but at least he was beaten up last night (kind of) to explain the absence.

The problem here was so much of the show being built around bad matches that didn’t have any time to go anywhere. How much can you do when four matches aren’t even three minutes long? You can tell they’re getting ready for the Wrestlemania season and that means some improvements but sweet goodness there’s some horrible stuff that they need to drop for the sake of stuff that could actually benefit from the extra attention.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 17, 2003
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for No Way Out and thankfully Scott Steiner vs. HHH II doesn’t feel like it’s anywhere near the biggest thing on the show anymore. Unfortunately what is the biggest story on this show is the chance that Steve Austin will be here on Sunday, which leaves a bunch of talking and nothing to see building up to the show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam

Warmup for Sunday’s Tag Team Title match. Storm cartwheels out of a monkey flip but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A middle rope crossbody gives Rob two so Storm sends him into the corner for some right hands. After telling the referee that he has until five, Storm gets caught with a spinwheel kick for two more as the crowd is rather silent for this. You don’t often get that with a Van Dam match.

Storm is right back with a chinlock but Rob comes back with even more kicks for another near fall. The Maple Leaf doesn’t last long as Rob gets to the ropes and comes back (again) with kicks and Rolling Thunder. Regal tries to break up the Five Star but has to deal with Kane. The distraction lets Storm get up and try a superplex, only to be shoved down so the Five Star can finish him off.

Rating: C-. Rob didn’t seem interested in trying here as it was almost all kicks plus Rolling Thunder and the Five Star. Normally he’ll add in a little more than that for the sake of some flavor but this was pretty dull stuff. At least the right team won before we get to the title match on Sunday.

Shawn Michaels and Jeff Hardy are in the back with Shawn complaining about the airline losing his bag. Eric Bischoff comes up so they wish him luck against Austin on Sunday. That’s not cool with Eric for some reason and he threatens the two of them, saying they’ll need luck later.

Here’s Bischoff to say there’s someone here in Columbus who needs to be addressed. It’s Chief Morely, who is reinstated as Bischoff’s Chief of Staff. Bischoff doesn’t want to hear about the fans, nor does he want smiles from Shawn and Hardy. Actually, let’s just have Shawn and Jeff team up to face Chris Jericho and Christian in a No DQ match.

As for the Dudleyz, they’ve been suspended and thrown out of the building. We see a clip of them being thrown out so Bischoff makes Spike vs. 3 Minute Warning and Rico. Finally, Bischoff brags about his martial arts skills and wants to showcase them a bit. Therefore, tonight it’s Bischoff vs. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN……..’s best friend Jim Ross! You can hear the crowd die as soon as he said best friend and with good reason.

This is more of the same story we’ve been seeing: Bischoff and Morely being all evil and messing with the same people while Austin will certainly be here one day. Last week Vince did various things to Bischoff and now we’re right back where we were Vince showed up last week. Why would I want to keep watching if they keep bringing us back to this same point over and over again?

Steven Richards tries to get Victoria to talk to Jazz before their tag match. They finally do talk, but Jazz just threatens to take the title.

Jazz/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Jacqueline

Jazz drops Molly in a hurry so it’s off to Victoria, who gets small packaged for two. Victoria starts choking as Lawler mocks Molly’s attire (it’s not the best, basically pants and a regular top). The slingshot legdrop is loaded up but Jazz tags herself in before Victoria can use it, much to the champ’s chagrin. A splash misses though and it’s off to Jackie to clean house. Jazz sends her into Victoria though and finishes with a DDT.

Rating: D. Just like earlier, the crowd completely died for this one as Jazz and Jackie may be tough but she’s not interesting. Molly is talented but doesn’t have charisma, leaving Victoria who is crazy and gets your attention but is a heel, leaving no one for the fans to care about in the whole thing.

Jazz beats on Molly as well and has the staredown with Victoria to a grand non-reaction.

We look back at Goldust being electrocuted.

Booker T. says Goldust will be back in a few weeks but he’s having neurological issues and isn’t right. As for tonight though, Booker is ready to fight Batista and Randy Orton for making fun of Goldust’s condition.

Evolution makes fun of Goldust and preps for the tag match tonight.

JR and King mention the passing of Mr. Perfect and we get the video tribute. Thankfully they include Perfect doing all the sports, which he really could do…..if the camera wasn’t on. Apparently he would mess up while the cameras were on so the director kept having to lie about them being off so he could do them right.

Here’s Teddy Long with the debuting Rodney Mack, who used to be known as Red Dawg on Smackdown. It seems that Long has gotten rid of D’Lo Brown for not being able to handle the man. Tonight it’s Mack vs. Al Snow. Teddy: “Did I say Snow? It don’t get no whiter than that!” See, Snow has the same chance tonight as a black man ever has of being President.

Rodney Mack vs. Al Snow

Snow charges in and gets stomped down as Teddy preaches the virtues of backing the Mack. The Snow Plow connects but Al goes up for a moonsault for no apparent reason, only to hit knees. A double underhook driver/powerbomb (imagine a double arm DDT but Mack pushed him forward a bit and let him go so the back of Snow’s head crashed to the mat) gives Mack the pin.

Jericho and Christian have a discussion about screaming girls and sexy beasts. A surprise is promised for Shawn. Jericho swats his gum away ala Mr. Perfect because Jericho is cool like that.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

No DQ and Lillian sounds like she’s in a tunnel for the entrances. Shawn is in street clothes due to the airline losing his bag but he’s able to crotch Christian against the post to start. The announcers try to figure out Jeff’s heel turn, even though it doesn’t seem to actually exist anymore.

Jeff gets dropped in the ring though, leaving Shawn to take a double teaming on the floor. That’s not all though as Shawn gets handcuffed to the bottom rope rung, making this a handicap match, complete with tags because agents don’t understand No DQ matches. Christian chokes away with the boot and cuts off Hardy’s comeback with the reverse DDT.

Jericho decides to taunt Shawn with the key before ripping Shawn’s shirt off and whipping his chest with a belt. A quick Whisper in the Wind drops Christian though and Jeff gives Shawn the key. Jericho eats a superkick and Christian gets slammed off the top, followed by a good looking dive. Now Jericho comes back in with a chair, only to have it superkicked into his face. The Swanton finishes Jericho.

Rating: C. We’re building to Shawn vs. Jericho so Chris gets pinned in this match when Christian is RIGHT THERE? And for what? The sake of pushing Hardy, who doesn’t even have a pay per view match at the moment? Then again Jericho is facing Test of all people at No Way Out so I have no idea what they’re thinking at this point.

Jericho flips out in the back and wants Hardy, who hasn’t won a match in four months. Two actually but I think the point stands.

Hurricane vs. Christopher Nowinski

During Hurricane’s entrance, we see Bischoff’s announcement about facing JR. Did they really have to get that in again? The fans think Harvard suck but barely react when Hurricane catches him with a clothesline. Hurricane sends him to the floor for a slingshot hurricanrana as Lawler tries to explain that Nowinski was so popular at Harvard that no one liked him. Back in and they trade rollups until Hurricane misses the Blockbuster. A modified spinebuster gives Nowinski two but the Eye of the Hurricane puts him away.

Rating: D. These are the kind of guys who could benefit from having the Intercontinental Title around. Not that they would be champion or even serious contenders for it, but you could buy them as trying to get into the title hunt. No one is going to buy them as World Title contenders though, making this nothing more than filler otherwise. A midcard title is a conceivable goal for someone like Hurricane but without it, he’s just kind of there for random matches like this one.

Morely makes fun of JR (how original) while Bischoff warms up. They’re ready to see Spike Dudley get beaten up.

Spike Dudley vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

There’s nothing to say here: Spike gets beaten up for three and a half minutes with every single move you would expect from these three. A splash from Jamal lets Rico get the pin (while grabbing tights). This is a thing that happened and we’re moving on.

No Way Out rundown.

Scott Steiner gives a shockingly normal interview about Sunday. HHH says he’s the best but he couldn’t beat Steiner so Steiner must be the best. He’ll prove it on Sunday when he wins the title. Booker comes up to exchange catchphrases.

Scott Steiner/Booker T. vs. HHH/Batista

Booker throws HHH (with his taped thigh) around to start and gets two off a backdrop. The jumping knee drops Booker though and it’s off to Batista for some clubbing forearms. Steiner comes in and glares at HHH but stops to go after Flair, allowing HHH to jump him from behind.

Orton gets in a few cheap shots on the floor, sending JR into a funny rant about how long Orton has been on the shelf with a shoulder injury. Back in and Steiner has to fight out of the sleeper for the hot tag to Booker so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Steiner beats up Evolution, leaving Booker to ax kick HHH for the surprise pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but it’s nice that they’re not even trying to hide the fact that Steiner is DONE in the main event and Sunday is just a formality. Booker seems to be the next challenger for the title, which would have been better a few months ago but at least it seems to be happening.

Bischoff comes out for the match with JR but first he has to beat up some boards and watermelons.

Eric Bischoff vs. Jim Ross

Coach is on commentary. Eric makes it no holds barred and does the Karate Kid pose so JR hits him in the face, drawing in Morely for the beatdown. Morely puts a cinder block next to JR’s head for the big kick and JR is out. Cue Lawler for the save attempt but Morely beats him down, leaving Bischoff to pin the bloody JR with a kick.

Rating: F. This wasn’t a match and that’s about what was expected. I know Bischoff is all cocky because he has Val Venis in his corner and knows karate but this is reaching a pretty low point in stupid evil boss history. At least Vince would hire a big name or some monster to fight for him. Morely isn’t enough and it’s not exactly a secret.

Bischoff drinks beer in Austin fashion to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Raw is in big trouble at the moment and I’m not sure if Austin is the solution. To be fair though, a lot of the problem is talking about Austin all the time despite him never showing up on TV. This show was a lot of filler and a lot of Bischoff and that really doesn’t make for a good two hours. Another lame show this week but now it’s just directionless and boring instead of horrible and I guess that’s a step up (I think?).

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