The voices tell me that today is Randy Orton.

Much like Booker T, Orton has been around for a long time so I’m going to have to skip some big sections to keep this from being eight hours long.

Orton was trained by his dad and started in Missouri for a bit before signing to OVW. Here’s one of his matches from Christmas Chaos 2001 in January of the same year.

Slick Robbie D vs. Randy Orton

Cornette is in the Control Center and gives a brief intro to each match so they’re not as rushed as they seem. Robbie went nowhere but could jump like few I’ve ever seen. Orton actually has hair here and is a rookie as well and even has hair here. The referee is a chick with big hair. Randy isn’t evil here and has few tattoos. He’s also not orange yet.

Robbie hammers away on Orton so Cornette plays up how much of a rookie that Orton is. There’s that gorgeous dropkick by Orton and he grabs an armbar. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two for Orton. He’s freaking jacked here too. Big superkick by Robbie gets him out of trouble though. Leg drop gets two. Robbie hits a dropkick to send Orton to the floor. Apparently if you intentionally throw someone over the top it’s a DQ. I will never get that rule.

BIG plancha takes out Orton. Robbie tries to go up and goes so slow “that a crippled moose could be up there by now.” I love Cornette’s expressions like that one. Superplex brings Robbie down and both guys are down. Orton starts his comeback and hits some basic stuff. In a rather abrupt ending, Orton tries for a full nelson slam which is his finishing move at the time. It’s blocked so Orton tries it again and hits it for the easy pin. Like I said, rather abrupt.

Rating: C+. Another decent little match here as I feel like I’m watching a Before They Were Stars tape or something like that. Orton wasn’t that great here but it was clear that they were going to try to make him into something. As with a lot of other guys I don’t think anyone had any idea how big he would become but the potential was there.

Orton would make it to Smackdown a little over a year later and would be just a guy for awhile, including in this match on Smackdown from July 4, 2002.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Orton would suffer one of his numerous shoulder injuries to put him out of action. This was where everything changed. Let’s flash back to 1997 for a second. Rocky Maivia was brought in at Survivor Series 1996 as a face, but people would come to loathe him very quickly. They then turned him heel until his talent shined through and the fans turned him face again. This was basically a big screw up that turned out perfectly in the end. In 2002, WWE tried to do the same thing on purpose with Randy Orton.

Unfortunately it didn’t work all that well though and Orton was better as a heel. This led to the Randy News Network bits where he would interrupt broadcasts to say where he was in his shoulder recovery. However, instead of getting over as a face, Orton got WAY over as a heel and WWE just stayed with that and put him in Evolution despite being hurt. Evolution dominated 2003 and Orton was back in the ring a few months into the year. The team hit its peak at Armageddon 2003 which saw Orton challenging RVD for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

Orton would hold the title for over half a year before dropping it to Edge. This freed him up to go after a World Title and he got that shot at Summerslam 2004.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Orton would turn face the next night on Raw when HHH kicked him out of Evolution for taking HHH’s title. The title reign wouldn’t last long due to HHH deciding that he needed the belt back and Orton’s face push died. With nothing else to do they turned him heel again and gave him a shot at the Streak, which was really becoming a huge deal.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

The rest of 2005 was mainly spent feuding with Undertaker, who eventually won the blowoff match of course. Next up was chasing the World Title on both Smackdown and Raw but Orton couldn’t quite close the deal. Instead it was back to the old Legend Killer stuff, including a match against the biggest legend of them all in Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

After chasing the title again for a good chunk of 2007, Orton would be awarded the title at No Mercy 2007 when John Cena was injured. Randy would lose the title less than twenty minutes later to HHH before facing him again later in the night in a last man standing match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Cena would come back sooner than later and would jump back into the title scene, setting up a threeway between Orton, Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania XXIV.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We’ll jump ahead again due to HHH vs. Orton in 2008 being AWFUL and HHH vs. Orton continuing to be AWFUL in 2009, because those two just had to face each other forever in the main event. We’ll head to Hell in a Cell 2009 as Orton has finally moved over to feuding with John Cena forever instead of HHH FOREVER.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

We’ll skip over 2010 to avoid Nexus, even though face Orton won another World Title at Night of Champions. Instead we’ll move ahead to Wrestlemania 27 and the apex of Orton’s feud with CM Punk and his New Nexus.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

Just over a month later, Orton would jump to Smackdown and receive a World Title shot on his first night on the show against new champion Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems. Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.” Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two. Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon. The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control. Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card. They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2. Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds. Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down. He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian. Fans are way into this. Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two. Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two. Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two. Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time. Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch. Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON! RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.

Again we’ll skip 2012 which had almost nothing interesting for the most part as Orton would feud with Ziggler, Del Rio, and the Wellness Policy. Orton would eventually feud with Shield alongside Sheamus and Big Show. The trio would be beaten by Shield at Wrestlemania XXIX, so Orton and Sheamus squared off on Raw the next night. This was nothing short of bizarre and warrants inclusion.

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

We’ll head back to reality now as Orton is in the Money in the Bank match at the PPV of the same name.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Orton would cash in at Summerslam and turn heel in the process. This would make him champion heading into the end of the year, where he would feud with Cena to be unified champion. The unification match was held at TLC 2013.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

I’m a big Orton fan and have been for a long time. I know he may not be the most interesting wrestler in the world but the guy is capable of having good matches with almost anyone. Yeah he gets repetitive a lot, but he has an awesome finisher and has figured out his character perfectly. He’ll be around for several more years and will win a ton more World Titles, as he deserves to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.

Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.

We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.

Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.

He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.

Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.

We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.

Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?

Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.

Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.

Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.

Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.

A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.

HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.

Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

 

Back to Canada today with Test.

Test debuted in the WWF in late 1998 as a bodyguard for Motley Crue but would quickly be brought in as part of the Corporation. He was in his debut match a few weeks later on the December 21, 1998 episode of Raw.

X-Pac/HHH vs. Test/The Rock

Before the match Shawn throws out DX. Vince comes out and says let them stay. Ok then. Rock and X-Pac start things off and Pac hits a kick to the chest and an armdrag to take over. Off to HHH vs. Test with the bigger guy (Test) looking as awkward as ever (which is pretty awkward). Rock’s distraction lets Test get in a big boot to somewhere around the face for two.

Rock comes in to beat HHH down some more and test gets two off a side slam. HHH gets in a facebuster and makes the tag so things can speed up a bit. Some kicks in the corner put Test down and there’s the Bronco Buster. Test dumps Pac to the floor and things break down a bit. Pac gets crotched against the post by Rock and DX is in trouble. Back in with Rock vs. Pac and a slam sets up the Corporate Elbow for two.

HHH comes in sans tag to clothesline Rock down, only to result in X-Pac getting double teamed. Off to Test who misses a clothesline and gets his head kicked off by X-Pac. There’s the hot tag to HHH who cleans house and hits a high knee to Rock and a facebuster to Test. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Test but Rock makes the save. There go the lights and here comes Kane, who is suddenly not institutionalized. He chokeslams HHH and the rest of DX. Apparently Kane is the holiday bonus for the Corporation. The match is thrown out.

Rating: C. The match was fine and given that it’s the Attitude Era, expecting a pin or submission ending in a main event is asking way too much. Test didn’t look like anything more than a taller and slower Boss Man here, so adding in Kane sort of makes him look worthless. Nothing great to see here but HHH and Pac always had some chemistry together.

Test would be in a battle royal before Wrestlemania XV went on the air where the final two men got a Tag Team Title match later that night against champions Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett. Test was in the final two so here’s the “showdown”.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

Test would soon be thrown out of the Corporate Ministry and join the Union, setting up an eight man elimination tag at Over the Edge 1999.

Corporate Ministry vs. The Union

Boss Man, Viscera, Bradshaw, Farrooq
Mankind, Test, Shamrock, Big Show

DANG Vince needs to go back to the original No Chance in Hell. This one was far better. The Union was a stable that lasted all of four weeks as Vince became the Higher Power and Mankind got hurt anyway. They got together because they got tired of the Corporate Ministry beating the tar out of them. This is Survivor Series rules mind you. Test is wearing bright blue tights which are very funny looking on him.

He’s a total rookie here and no one cares about him. Somehow within five months he would be the hottest act in the company. Bradshaw hits a spear and lands some solid shots on the cranium of Test. The opening here just feels like they’re kind of lumbering around looking for something to do. He hits that sweet top rope elbow on Bradshaw as we finally get more faces in there. The Clothesline From JBL connects on Test to pin him as Shamrock was just visiting before.

Bradshaw taps in about a minute. This has no heat at all but I can’t blame anyone for that at all. It’s Big Daddy V vs. Shamrock now. I think Shamrock tried a crucifix but Viscera was just too fat for it to work. Shamrock gets the ankle lock on Farrooq but snaps and suplexes the referee which gets him out. Show gets an AWESOME chokeslam on Farrooq, holding him up there forever. This match is the living definition of a mess.

It’s Show and Foley vs. Boss Man and Viscera. Something tells me this is a one sided affair. Boss Man drops an F Bomb on Mankind before getting drilled by Show. This was back when Show could MOVE. He freaking goes off on Boss Man but gets caught with a low blow which I’m not wild on.

Apparently the two of them are counted out soon thereafter but it’s not really made all that clear. That’s simply not a good sign at all but whatever. So Foley beats Boss Man in about 2 minutes after that. Yeah that’s really it.

Rating: D-. This was just bad. I mean there was nothing at all here and while the crowd was reacting, they were far from interesting in the slightest. This felt like they forgot to tell anyone anything other than the ending which simply isn’t going to work. Their minds were there I think, but this was just a mess.

Around this time, Test began a relationship with Stephanie McMahon. This wasn’t cool with Stephanie’s brother Shane, who brought in his buddies in the Mean Street Posse to help him take care of Test. This included a gauntlet match on the July 12, 1999 episode of Raw.

Test vs. Mean Street Posse

Test has to beat all three members in a row and it’s Pete Gas first. Test kicks him in the face in the aisle before the bell, throws him over the announce table, throws him inside for a big elbow and gets the pin. Rodney is next but Pete gets a low blow to give Rodney a chance. The advantage lasts a few seconds as Test kicks Rodney in the face and hits a gutwrench powerbomb and pumphandle powerslam for the pin. Joey Abs, an actual wrestler, is last and takes over with a neckbreaker. Test easily throws him into the corner and nails a powerslam but Shane runs in for the DQ. Short but Test looked good.

The feud culminated in a Love Her Or Leave Her match between Shane and Test. The rules are simple: if Shane wins, Stephanie and Test are done but if Test wins, Shane stays away.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a Greenwich street fight with love her or leave her rules. Test is dating Stephanie but Shane doesn’t approve. If Test wins, Shane stays out of their lives but if Shane wins then the relationship ends. Test has bad ribs but Shane has no backup due to Test injuring every member of the Mean Street Posse. Scratch that theory actually as they come walking out before the match. Thanks for wasting my time on the video of Test destroying all of them. The Posse has a couch set for them in the front row.

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

The injured Posse goes after Test and give Shane a mailbox of all things to crack over Test’s head. A street sign stuns Test again and there’s a framed portrait of the Posse shattered over Test’s head. That’s only good for two and the fans are getting into this. Shane does a great looking leapfrog and this a jumping back elbow to the face to put Test down. A corkscrew senton (Spiral Tap) of all things misses and Test comes back with right hands.

Another leapfrog is countered into a sweet powerbomb but Rodney of the Posse distracts the referee. Test’s big boot hits the referee but he clotheslines Shane to the floor. The street sign puts Shane down again but here’s the Posse again to take Test down. They load him onto the announce table so Shane can hit the top rope elbow through Test. For a non-wrestler, Shane can drop a gorgeous elbow.

The referee is back up (why did he need to be bumped? It’s a street fight) but Test kicks out at two. The fans are really getting into this. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a sign but Rodney hits Test with his cast. That’s only good for two and now the fans are fired up. Patterson and Brisco run out to take care of the Posse and make it one on one. Shane charges into the post and it’s a pump handle slam followed by the flying elbow to get Shane out of Test and Stephanie’s lives.

Rating: B. This took a little bit to get going but the fans got into it at the end. It’s a great example of a story carrying a match rather than the wild brawling. This was full of weapon shots and interference, but the story behind the match made people care about it. The people were invested in Test and wanted to see him fight for the woman he loved. That’s a classic story and it’s going to work every time. Good stuff here.

Test and Stephanie were going to be married on Raw one night but Test had to wrestle first. From November 29, 1999 on Raw.

Test vs. HHH

Before the match we get a special referee in a Vince mask. HHH is furious because there’s a restraining order against Vince but Test jumps the distracted Game to take over. HHH comes back with a kick to the chest but walks into a powerslam. Patterson and Brisco are watching in the back and ask Vince to come watch with them. HHH nails him with a knee to the ribs and stomps away in the corner. A knee drop gets two and we go back to Patterson and Brisco for more of the same.

We hit a sleeper on Test and the referee doesn’t seem to care. He finally slaps Test in the face to wake him up but HHH scores with a DDT. A low blow drops Test again but HHH stops to argue with the referee. Test comes back with a big clothesline but HHH escapes the pumphandle slam. Instead it’s a belly to back suplex to drop HHH and he bails to the floor. Test dives into a punch to the ribs, allowing HHH to grab a chair. A facebuster puts Test down but the referee won’t count. HHH goes after the referee’s mask but Shane comes in with a chair to HHH, allowing Test to drop the elbow for a fast counted pin.

Rating: D+. The match was about the masked man, who never was identified. It certainly appeared to be Vince and that’s the implication you were supposed to go with. Test was good with the fast paced stuff but his longer matches like this one never quite worked. Even HHH couldn’t get this to go right.

After the story ended, Test fell down the card and entered a tag team with Albert called T&A, managed by newcomer Trish Stratus. They feuded with the Dudley Boys soon after forming, including this match at Backlash 2000.

T&A vs. Dudley Boys

Brawl to start of course and Bubba chases Trish around on the floor. Albert and D-Von get us going with the future Japanese bore taking control. D-Von takes him down for two and I have no idea who the faces are and who the heels are here. Off to Bubba who takes his head off with a clothesline. That and an elbow drop both get two. Off to D-Von and the Dudleys hit a double suplex and the yet to be named What’s Up.

Albert comes back with a bicycle kick and it’s off to Test. Double splashes in the corner get two on D-Von. I could listen to Bubba Dudley yell from an apron all day. I’d get pretty bored but I certainly could do it. The big evil (I think?) ones double team D-Von. Albert slams Test onto D-Von and shouts to TESTIFY TO THAT. Bubba: “SHUT UP!” The fans of course want tables but D-Von gets a neckbreaker on Test instead.

The referee misses the tag to Bubba and the beating continues. Albert hits his slingshot into the bottom rope for two. A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for D-Von, but he’s quickly powerbombed for the same. The fans want tables and Trish isn’t sure what to think. Albert goes up but Bubba distracts him, allowing D-Von to hit a superplex and make the hot tag.

Reverse 3D (called the 3D by JR of course) gets two. Baldo Bomb kills Bubba but D-Von pulls him away from the big elbow. The Dudleys load up the REAL 3D (as in Bubba gets a running start) but Trish offers a distraction by taking her jacket off and shaking her hips. Keep in mind that this is before Trish let herself go in 2001/2002, and yes I said that right. That lets Test kick Bubba’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.

We’ll skip the rest of 2000 as it was mainly just T&A doing nothing while Trish stole the show. Off to a European Title shot for Test on the January 22, 2001 episode of Raw.

European Title: William Regal vs. Test

Regal is champion coming in here and runs down Test a bit. Test runs to the ring and destroys Regal inside of two minutes. Regal got in some punches and a knee but other than that it was ALL Test. The big boot sets up the top rope elbow (pretty) for the title. Match didn’t even make 90 seconds.

Then came the InVasion with Test getting caught up in the shuffle like everyone else, though he did pick up a few Tag Titles with Booker T. (two reigns of 13 days each). He did have some singles success though, including an Intercontinental Title shot on November 5, 2001’s Raw.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge challenged Test last night on Heat for some reason. He jumps Test on the floor to start and they head back inside for a lot of punches from both guys. Edge tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two as Test takes over again. After a suplex Test chokes away with the boot in the corner but walks into a spear out of nowhere. Both guys are down and it’s Edge up first.

He hits the spinwheel kick but walks into an elbow to put him down. The big boot misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge rolls through a powerbomb for two and hits a tornado DDT for the same. He goes up again but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch the champion. Test cradles Edge and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was about as good as a five and a half minute match with practically no story (Test cost Edge a match last week apparently) was going to be. That’s beside the point though. At this point in WWF, there were three midcard titles (IC, US and Euro), two world titles, two tag titles, a hardcore title and two lightweight titles.

The idea of being lost in the shuffle was perfectly illustrated by him being in a battle royal for immunity after one of the companies went out of business at Survivor Series 2001.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

No matter who wins the main event tonight, the winner of this is guaranteed a job for a year. Stasiak is thrown to the floor before the bell rings and is apparently out. Test drops to the floor to hide as Tazz comes in late. Since it’s a battle royal there’s really not much to talk about here. Everyone punches everyone and no one is put out for awhile. Heyman freaks out about Tazz because Tazz choked him out on Smackdown.

Hurricane dives at Farrooq and is clotheslined out by Bradshaw. Albert throws Saturn out and Test, who is back in now, dumps Farrooq. Page is put out by someone we can’t see and Storm superkicks Palumbo out. Morrus and Chavo run in as wildcards because they tried to jump from the Alliance to the WWF on Raw but got fired as a result. Billy dumps Chavo as Morrus is eliminated as well. Tazz dumps Dreamer and Crash as Storm low bridges Spike out. Bradshaw’s Clothesline kills Richards and he’s gone.

Tazz stops to run his mouth to Heyman and gets dumped by Billy. Test and I think Kidman put Albert out. We’re down to Bradshaw, Kidman, Gunn, Test and Storm. Sorry if I missed a bunch of eliminations but a lot of them weren’t shown. The fallaway slam puts Kidman out and we’re down to four. Bradshaw kicks Storm down and might have hurt his ankle. Things slow way down as Billy and Bradshaw hang on for dear life. Storm and Test team up to put Bradshaw out but Test dumps Storm as well. A big boot eliminates Gunn and Test wins immunity.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, it’s a battle royal so what are you expecting to get here? Test would fall through the floor in the next year with no one caring about him at all. This was a pretty big batch of jobbers in there though and that doesn’t really make for an interesting match. Then again, neither do most battle royals.

We’ll also skip the Un-Americans, Testicles and the horrible feud with Scott Steiner. Test would be in a battle royal of former Intercontinental Champions at Judgment Day 2003.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

 

Val Venis (returning here after being Chief Morely for awhile), Chris Jericho, Goldust, Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Christian, Test (pulling a double tonight), Kane, Booker T (not a former champion yet in this anyway)

 

Pat Patterson handles the introductions. Only 9 people in this which is a rather odd number. Standard over the top rules here. Kane and RVD, the Raw tag champions, go at it immediately. Everyone gangs up on Kane and he’s like boys please and tosses Storm. RVD takes the knee out and it’s another pile on Kane. This time they get him out so we’re down to seven.

 

Kane comes back in to beat them up for fun. Booker puts Test out and Goldust throws out Val. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to put Van Dam out so it’s down to Goldust, Jericho, Booker and Christian. Goldie cleans house for a bit but the Canadians come back to take over. Goldust comes back and bulldogs both Canadians. This is getting boring in a hurry.

 

With the help of Booker, both Canadians gets Shattered Dreams. There’s the Spinarooni but Goldust lunges at him, only to get tossed as well. It’s down to Booker vs. Christian vs. Jericho. The fans are all behind Booker here. This isn’t his year though as he was beaten by a racist heel at Mania (People “like Booker” don’t win world titles. What do you think that was implying?) and gets double teamed here.

 

Booker fights them off for a bit and Jericho skins the cat. Down goes Booker again as the words GET ON WITH THIS play over and over in my head. Jericho is bleeding from the nose. Jericho sets for the Lionsault and Christian shoves him out! I love double crosses. Booker beats on him for awhile and a referee somehow is knocked down. Christian hit a baseball slide into him if you’re curious.

 

Yes, it’s going to be a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. Scissors kick misses and Christian goes to the apron. Booker sends him into the buckle and wins this. The music plays and Christian steals the belt from Patterson. A belt shot to the head and a toss out later and it’s Christian that officially wins the title. Booker would get it back about two months later. Everyone hates this mind you. Yes, a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. I told you this era was weak.

 

Rating: D+. Another boring match tonight which is a theme here. Was there a point to this being a battle royal other than not wanting to have two tournaments going at once? For some reason they were afraid to give Booker anything even though he was on a roll and was over at this point. That’s Vince for you though. Weak match with a bad ending.

Test would be released in 2004 and hit the indies for awhile. He would be brought back for ECW on Sci-Fi, where he feuded with Rob Van Dam. Here’s their blowoff match from October 3, 2006.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

It’s table time and the fans erupt as a result. As always, that takes too much time and Test takes his head off with a clothesline in the ring. Test throws four chairs into the ring and a big boot into one of them into the head of Van Dam gets two. A suplex onto the chair is countered by Van Dam and he pelts the chair at Test’s head ala Sabu. Test goes to the apron but Van Dam can’t knock him through the table. Test tries to suplex him through the table in a repeat of the spot from last week with Holly, but Van Dam countered into a sunset powerbomb through the table in a great spot.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Off to a bearhug as Van Dam is in even more trouble. Van Dam escapes but a BIG chair shot to the head gets two. Test removes the buckle from a corner but RVD blocks the shot into it and this a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rob goes to the floor for another chair because the four in the ring weren’t enough I guess. After threatening the guards with the chair, he skateboards it into Test’s face in the corner. He loads up Rolling Thunder onto the chair but Test moves, sending Rob’s back into chair only.

With the chair on Van Dam’s face, Test goes up and drops a Cactus Jack elbow (as in he had a chair of his own and slammed it into the other chair) off the top…..for two. Test loads up another table but his powerbomb through it is countered into a sunset flip for two. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered and Van Dam hits the top rope kick. After dispatching the guards, Van Dam loads up the Five Star through the table but Big Show comes out and shoves him through the table. A TKO from Test finally gets the pin.

Rating: B. Van Dam is on a roll right now and I’m digging this war with Heyman and his team of lackeys as he’s building up to the big rematch with Show. Test looked good here and after the match last week with Holly, I think it’s fair to call Van Dam an official miracle worker. Another strong match here which would probably be the best match of the week in WWE.

Since this would go nowhere, Test would be gone a few months later. He would show up in TNA for a few weeks as Andrew “The Punisher” Martin. Here’s his only match from Hard Justice 2007, which is something called a Doomsday Cage of Blood.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Test would be released soon after and retire less than a year later. Unfortunately Test would pass away in March of 2009 at the age of 33.

Overall Test had a much better look than skill set but that’s the case with a ton of wrestlers. He hit his peak in 1999 with the Stephanie story but Russo leaving the company took away any interest in Test. He never really had a great match, but his matches with Shane weren’t bad at all. Test was better suited as a bodyguard but didn’t do badly at all with what he was given.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00J58H5CY

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This is a bit late but it’s been a busy few days.

 

The pre-show match was nothing special but it was nice to see Cody and Goldust get a win. They’re too talented to be wasted jobbing to guys like Ryback and Axel. Their run at the top of the division is long over but at least they can still do stuff like this.

 

Swagger vs. Langston was WAY better than I was expecting. Jack needs to change something up though as his character is just so damaged. It’s almost impossible to shake that stigma when you’re the same character with the same moves and look every single night. It also doesn’t help that he’s in there with Cesaro who is getting a huge push at the moment and looking like a star. There’s talent in Swagger but he needs to be repackaged like two years ago.

 

Langston looked good and there’s always going to be a spot for someone who can just run people over and throw them across the ring.

 

I’ll look at all the Bad News Barrett bits at once. The idea is good but the execution hasn’t worked for me. Just telling people that they’re fat and that Europeans are better isn’t going to get him anywhere. Have him do actual bad news like “chant all you want, Bryan isn’t getting the match” or “the fans don’t care about you” and the character serves a purpose other than just randomly appearing for ten seconds.

 

The Outlaws retaining the titles is fine if they actually drop the things at Wrestlemania. At the end of the day though, it doesn’t help that they keep winning the matches clean, thereby looking better than the challengers. The Outlaws got over by using every possible method of cheating known to man and then inventing some of their own back in the 90s. Since then the power of nostalgia has made them into great workers and people are acting like that actually happened. It would work for the Hardy Boys or a team like that, but this is getting more and more bizarre every week.

 

Titus vs. Darren was exactly what I thought it would be. The crowd didn’t care for most of the match so thankfully the guys went home in a hurry. Titus will be good when he gets a better opponent. I feel sorry for Young as he’s not terrible but there’s just nothing special to him and it’s showing.

 

I don’t know what I can say about Shield vs. the Wyatts. The match was amazing and everyone looked like a star. The booking was great too with Reigns getting caught 3-1, thereby protecting him from taking a big loss. Yeah he got pinned, but no one is going to look down on him for not being able to fight off all three Wyatts at once.

 

AJ vs. Cameron was what it was. Cameron looks good in the shorts and tight top but there’s just nothing there in the ring. Thankfully it looks like we’re moving towards AJ vs. Tamina who can go in the ring.

 

That brings us to one of the more interesting match of the night. Batista had his first singles match since his comeback and looked pretty horrible. The match was basically a squash until the very end, but the more interesting part though was the crowd. They flat out do not care about Batista at all and do not want to see him in the ring. A heel turn will help, but he needs to do something more than that at this point.

 

Del Rio wasn’t bad out there but he might as well have been anyone on the roster. He looked fine in the ring like he always did, but he was little more than Del Rio being sacrificed to Batista to set up a match that almost no one wants to see. The wrestling was fine but the crowd was the story here and it’s a story that needs to be fixed sooner rather than later.

 

The Chamber was about what everyone was expecting but it was still very entertaining. Sheamus and Cesaro having a brawl throughout the entire match worked very well and I could see the two of them having a match at Wrestlemania as a result. Sheamus never had a chance to win but that Brogue Kick through the pod was as good looking of a spot as you were going to get. Cesaro didn’t really get to show off that much but the win over Orton and showcase match against Cena were more important than looking good in a match he wasn’t going to win anyway.

 

The rest of the match was fine as well with Orton taking a beating but surviving long enough to keep the title. Kane and the Wyatts interfering was predictable but it still worked quite well. Bryan getting screwed over sets up HHH vs. Bryan at Wrestlemania (in theory) and Cena vs. Bray is ready to go as well. Good match to end a very good show.

 

The main story coming out of Elimination Chamber was that WWE being on the road to Wrestlemania. Things have cranked up again this year and the next six weeks are going to be a very fun time. I could even live with the Network stuff as it’s certainly a huge moment that deserves the hypt it received. Great show here with Shield vs. Wyatts being must see stuff.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

 

Elimination Chamber 2014
Date: February 23, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Tonight is the final big stop on the Road to Wrestlemania with six men possibly leaving with the WWE Championship. It’s actually a wide open field tonight with at least three people having a realistic shot at walking out with the belt. However there might be an even more interesting match on the card with the Wyatt Family vs. the Shield in a very well built story. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Axel comes out with his grandfather Larry the Ax Hennig. Goldust and Curtis get things going with the painted one taking over with some armdrags. Off to Cody vs. Ryback with the big guy throwing him around like it’s nothing. Axel comes in again and but gets sent to the floor. Ryback is tossed out as well and the brothers dive on both guys as we take a break.

Back with Ryback stomping away on Goldust and there’s a tag off to Curtis as his grandfather looks very pleased. A delayed vertical suplex gets two for Ryback and Goldust rolls Axel up for the same. Goldust and Axel clothesline each other but Ryback breaks up a tag.

Ryback charges at Goldust but gets backdropped to the floor, finally allowing for the hot tag to Cody. Rhodes takes Axel down with a knee to the face and the moonsault press gets two. Cody’s springboard dropkick is countered into a powerbomb for two as Goldust and Ryback fight to the floor. Curtis tries his neckbreaker but gets countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:58.

Rating: C-. This could have been any match on any given Smackdown. As has been the issue for the division since it was resurrected: it doesn’t matter how many teams you have if they’re all just trading wins back and forth with no one getting anywhere as a result. It’s nice to see Goldust and Cody get a win though.

The opening video talks about being willing to fight anyone in order to achieve your dream.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is challenging and Colter does his usual schtick before the match. Big E. shoves him into the corner to start and runs him over with a hard shoulder block, sending Swagger to the outside. Back in and some overhead belly to belly suplexes put Jack down but he bails to the floor again to avoid a charging champion. This time Big E. follows him outside and sends him into the steps but the champion goes after Colter.

The distraction doesn’t work though as he spears Jack into the steps in a painful looking spot. Back inside and Jack low bridges Big E. out to the floor and takes over with some running knees in the corner. After a WE THE PEOPLE it’s off to a front facelock for a few moments. Big E. fights up and a double clothesline puts both guys down again. Swagger avoids a charge and Big E. goes shoulder first into the post, drawing a WE THE PEOPLE chant from the crowd.

Back up and Big E. runs Swagger over with clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex but the champion charges into a powerslam for two. The running Vader Bomb is caught in the Big Ending but Jack makes it to the apron. That’s fine with Big E. as he spears him through the ropes in a big crash. Back in and the Warrior Splash gets two so Big E…..goes up top? Jack catches him with a right hand and runs the ropes for a belly to belly superplex and a VERY close two.

Swagger takes out the leg and puts on the Patriot Lock but Big E. kicks his way out. The gutwrench is countered but Big E. runs him over and takes down the straps. Jack grabs another Patriot Lock but Big E. fights up and hits an enziguri of all things, setting up the Big Ending to retain the title at 11:50.

Rating: B. I liked this far better than I was expecting with Swagger putting up a great fight and making it much closer than he had any right to. It’s nice to see Big E. get a win on PPV and a successful title defense over a former World Champion never hurt anyone. It should be interesting to see where the Real Americans go from here.

Bad News Barrett pops up and talks about Russia winning more medals at the Olympics, further proving European dominance. Is this character ever going anywhere?

We look back at Daniel Bryan’s shoulder injury from Raw at the hands of Kane.

Daniel Bryan asks some questions about the Chamber, such as will his opponents go after his shoulder and will he give this everything he has to become WWE Champion. Take a guess as to what the answer is.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoves Billy around to start and some armdrags and hiptosses send Gunn outside. The Usos load up their double dive but the Outlaws move before the jump. Back in for Dogg vs. Jey with the champion’s headbutt hurting him instead of Jey. A hiptoss sends Jey into the corner and he looked to injure his knee or leg. The shaky kneedrop gets two and it’s back to Gunn for a two count.

The CM Punk chants start up as Dogg shrugs off some right hands and knees Jey down again. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jey fights up and superkicks Jey back down. Hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up leaving Jimmy vs. Gunn in the ring. Road Dogg pulls his partner away from the running Umaga attack but Jimmy dives onto Roadie. Back in and a superkick gets two on Gunn but Jimmy has to go after Road Dogg, allowing Billy to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:34.

Rating: D+. This is more about frustrating booking than a bad match but the wrestling was nothing great either. I’m not sure if the Outlaws are holding the belts because they’re friends of HHH or because this company thinks there’s more to nostalgia than anyone else, but I don’t get the appeal of the Outlaws getting clean pins on top tag teams.

Bad News Barrett pops up again without the raised podium to say Daniel Bryan’s shoulder will keep him from winning the title.

Time to hype the Network. Apparently there will be over 50 documentaries in addition to the PPVs. Nice addition.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Basic story here of a team losing and splitting due to a heel turn by Titus. Darren gets in Titus’ face to start but is knocked down by a hard forearm. The fans want Lesnar as Titus works on a headlock. Titus bails to the floor and Darren is right on his heels as the fans chant Fruity Pebbles. Darren charges into the corner but gets backdropped out to the floor followed by having his back rammed into the post.

Back in and it’s time for a bearhug, backbreakers and an abdominal stretch. Titus slaps Darren in the ribs before charging into a boot as the announcers talk about JBL being cheap. Darren comes back with some basic offense for two as the fans boo the kickout. Thankfully they get the hint and a quick Clash of the Titus ends Darren at 6:17.

Rating: D. This was about what I was expecting and it showed the problem with Young. He’s basically the modern day Scotty Riggs, meaning a guy who was in a tag team with a much more charismatic guy and then had nothing interesting once he was on his own. Titus looked good here though and won clean in the right ending. Thankfully they went home quickly like they did.

MORE Bad News Barrett who talks about being more talented than Hulk Hogan.

We look at the pre-show match and the rest of the show with the expert panel.

Recap of Shield vs. Wyatt Family. The Family cost Shield a spot in the Elimination Chamber and the feud has spiraled into a battle over who is the greatest faction in WWE today. Ambrose and Reigns have been having issues lately as well.

Wyatt Family vs. Shield

The Wyatts take their sweet time as is their custom and we get a long staredown as the fans think this is awesome before busting out the dueling chants. This is what you get when you actually build up a feud to the point where you can’t imagine either team going down clean. Ambrose jumps the Family and the Shield clears out the ring before the opening bell.

Rowan vs. Rollins gets things going with Erick being drokicked into the Shield corner before it’s off to Reigns for a pop. He’s out just as quickly as it’s back to Rollins who gets his head taken off with a clothesline. Harper comes in for some hard right hands before it’s off to the boss for some knees in the corner. Rollins is thrown into the corner and the tag brings in Reigns. You can feel the fans get excited for this showdown.

They trade right hands with Bray getting the worst of it so a tag brings in Harper. Luke can’t suplex Reigns so Roman counters into one of his own and brings in Dean. Ambrose pounds away in the corner before it’s back to Reigns for two off a HARD right hand. Dean gets two off the dropkick against the ropes and it’s back to Seth for a headbutt to Luke’s back. The Shield starts their fast tagging with Dean coming in to rake his forearm over Luke’s face. A middle rope elbow to the jaw puts Luke down but Rowan offers a distraction, allowing Harper to hit a dropkick of all things.

Bray gets the tag to pound away on Dean as the Family takes over again. A running splash in the corner crushes Dean and it’s back to Rowan for the head vice with two fists. Rowan gets two off a side slam and brings Harper back in, only to have Dean grab a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather.

Rollins comes back in with a nice running dropkick but he gets caught on the top rope. Luke loads up a reverse superplex but Seth lands on his feet and sends Harper to the floor for a suicide dive. Back inside and the top rope knee to the side of the head puts Harper down again and Seth has a fired up look in his eyes. Harper kicks his head off for a very close two and it’s back to Bray after the best sequence Rollins has ever had in WWE.

Bray sends Rollins outside and hits the running backsplash on the floor before it’s back to Rowan. The dueling chants begin again before the fans say they want tables. Back to Harper who hammers away in the corner and scores with a running clothesline. Wyatt demands to be tagged in but runs into a boot in the corner. Rollins goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a chokeslam of all things for two. Ambrose tries to make the save but Harper kicks his head off, sending him to the floor.

Rollins finally gets in a shot to Harper’s head and the hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house. A Samoan drop puts Rowan down but Harper saves his partner. There’s the dropkick from the floor for two on Erick as everything breaks down. Dean takes Bray down and hammers away before dropkicking him out to the floor. Harper dives through the floor to take out Ambrose but Rollins hits a swanton dive over the top to take Luke out. Reigns rolls up Erick for a VERY close two but they clothesline each other down.

Seth loads up the Spanish announce table but Bray decks him from behind. Ambrose saves Rollins from being sent through the table and takes Bray into the crowd with another charge. AWESOME stuff here. Rowan and Reigns slug it out and Roman goes shoulder first into the post, only to come back with a running clothesline for two. Rollins hits Harper with a monitor to the ribs but Bray comes back and loads up the other announce table. Rowan takes Reigns down in the ring and sends him to the floor with a fallaway slam.

The Family has Rollins surrounded and the monsters double chokeslam him through the announce table. Ambrose is still gone so it’s pretty much Reigns vs. all three Family members. They slowly get back in the ring and Roman sees what he’s up against. He goes right for Bray but the numbers are too much for him.

Harper kicks Reigns’ head off and drops to his knees for the tag off to Wyatt. Bray does his upside down thing in the corner but Reigns powers out of Sister Abigail and Bray is terrified. Reigns goes into Beast Mode and Samoan drops Bray before hitting Rowan and Bray with Superman Punches. The spear puts Harper down but Wyatt runs Reigns over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 22:45.

Rating: A+. When you expect a match to be one of the best match you’ve seen in a long time and get blown away, you’ve seen something special. This was outstanding stuff and had me glued to the screen which doesn’t happen every day. Outstanding match where neither team looked bad at all. Find this match if you didn’t catch it tonight.

Network ad with Hogan and Cena schilling its awesomeness. No they’re not on camera together.

Christian says his losses make him dangerous and dares us to underestimate him.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Cameron

This is a bonus match due to fill in some time and let the crowd catch their breath. AJ is defending of course and says this was supposed to be Naomi’s match but she broke her face. Cameron gets in a quick shot to the face but gets taken down by a neckbreaker for two.

AJ puts on a modified dragon sleeper but spends too much time skipping around and gets rolled up for two. Cameron is quickly sent outside and AJ steals her pompoms for a little dance. Tamina screws up by kicking AJ in the face but still breaks up the pin attempt at two. That’s not enough for Tamina as she pulls Cameron outside and takes her head off for the DQ at 4:00.

Rating: D. This was a necessary step down after the masterpiece we saw a few minutes ago. Cameron was the logical choice for the replacement here but at the end of the day, no one cares about her at all. She’s a whiny little pest on Total Divas and there’s no reason to care about her.

Bad News Barrett says everyone is going to lose their jobs, children will be expelled from schools, rats will move into homes and the government will condemn the houses. Why? BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL BE MESMERIZED BY THE WWE NETWORK!

Santino, Emma, Khali and Los Matadores play with the new toys.

Batista vs. Alberto Del Rio

Batista is back to black trunks instead of the shorts from the Rumble. He gets a decent reaction here and nowhere near what it was last month. It seems more like indifference than anything else. Del Rio comes to the ring in workout clothes, wearing a neck brace and using a crutch. Sign in the crowd: “Batista = ZZZ”. Del Rio says he can’t compete and of course jumps Batista with the crutch. Fans: “SI! SI! SI!”

Del Rio of course has his trunks underneath and goes after Batista’s knee. He says ring the bell and Batista comes back with right hands as the booing begins. We might as well be in Mexico City right now. Fans: “Boo-Tista! Boo-Tista!” Even Lawler has to acknowledge the chants. Batista is sent shoulder first into the post and Del Rio puts on the armbreaker in the ropes. We hit the hammerlock as the fans chant for Bryan and Punk.

The Codebreaker to the arm puts Batista down again and it’s a Y2J chant. Del Rio misses a charge into the post and the BORING chants begin. Del Rio gets in another shot to the arm to take over and the corner enziguri gets two. Batista is knocked to the floor as the chants go from RVD to Lesnar. The announcers are acknowledging most of them at this point.

Del Rio throws him back inside and gets speared down for two (face pop). A powerslam is countered into the Backstabber for two but Alberto misses a top rope backsplash. Del Rio escapes the powerbomb and takes out the knee before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered and Del Rio is sent into an exposed buckle (when did that happen?) and the Batista Bomb is good the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I’m at a loss for words here as the fans are clearly not accepting Batista, but it’s not just because he’s a face. He literally had less than ten offensive moves here and was getting squashed until the very end. They expect him to be able to work a 20+ minute match in just six weeks? I can’t imagine that at all.

Network ad.

Expert panel predictions. Miz can’t make up his mind, Henry picks Sheamus and Mysterio picks Cesaro.

The Chamber is lowered.

Video on the Chamber.

WWE Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Christian vs. Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Orton is defending and of course it’s two people for five minutes to start and a new one is added out of a pod every five minutes. Last man surviving wins. Sheamus and Cesaro will be starting which is quite a way to get things going. Cesaro quickly dropkicks Sheamus out to the steel but can’t ram him into the wall. Back inside but it’s a quick backdrop to send Sheamus onto the steel again. Cesaro loads up a charge but Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulder for two.

Now it’s Cesaro being sent onto the steel and they fight over a suplex but Sheamus lands on his feet. Cesaro quickly puts him down and a middle rope double stomp crushes Sheamus’ ribs as Orton casually watches from the pod. They brawl into the corner and Sheamus tells him to bring it on. That’s fine with Cesaro as he uppercuts Sheamus down, but Sheamus pulls himself to the top rope. Another uppercut staggers the Irishman but he comes back with the flying shoulder.

Daniel Bryan is in third and the fans are fired up. Bryan has a bad shoulder coming in but starts fast with his usual stuff, including the running clothesline and YES kicks to Sheamus. Cesaro gets some kicks as well and the roundhouse kick sends him to the steel. Daniel puts Sheamus in an Indian deathlock and manages to suplex Cesaro for two without breaking the hold. Cesaro catches a diving Bryan in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and things slow down a bit.

Sheamus is sent over the ropes again and Cesaro just rakes Sheamus’ head against the steel with a knee. Bryan is sent shoulder first through the pod and looks to be more in shock than pin. Cesaro and Sheamus slug it out until Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry on the steel. Bryan is back in the ring as the dueling Cena chants begin. The clock speeds up a bit so Christian can come in fourth.

Christian goes right after Bryan’s shoulder by sending it into the cage wall over and over. He rips the tape off and slams the pod door on the shoulder for two. Sheamus is back up now and slams Christian’s back into the post a few times, only to be countered into the reverse DDT on the steel. Cesaro loads up Swiss Death on the outside but Christian grabs the cage to avoid massive amounts of pain. Instead Cesaro pulls him down and powerbombs him against the pod glass for two.

Cesaro sends Sheamus into the broken pod and it’s Cena in fifth. He immediately cleans house but gets taken down by a top rope hurricanrana from Bryan. There are the YES Kicks but Christian breaks up the big one with the Killswitch for a very close two. Cesaro loads up the Swing on Christian but Cena breaks it up with a cross body, sending Christian into the buckle off a slingshot. White Noise gets two on John and it’s back to Cesaro vs. Sheamus. Christian catches Sheamus with a kick to the face but Sheamus backdrops out of the Neutralizer.

A tornado DDT gets two on Cesaro but Cena sends Christian into the steel. Cena goes after Cesaro but gets caught in Swiss Death for two. Bryan, Cena and Cesaro have a three way fight until Cena loads Cesaro up in the AA. Daniel kicks John down before kicking Cesaro in the corner which the announcers call a mistake. Sheamus sends Bryan into the cage wall but Cesaro does his awesome superplex from the cage floor. Orton comes in to give us all six at once, which might be a first.

The fans chant BORING so Orton stops to pose and point at the sign like a good heel should. Bryan avoids the Punt and Orton is suddenly cornered by all five guys. Orton wisely hides in the pod, drawing a certain feline insult from the crowd. Sheamus yells through the glass before Brogue Kicking through the pod and sending Orton into the cage wall over and over. Cesaro sends Sheamus in as well and Cena initiates his finishing sequence on the champion. Cesaro breaks it up and Swings Orton THIRTY TIMES. Bryan grabs a Rolling Chaos Theory suplex on Cesaro but there’s no cover.

Sheamus powerslams Christian down and loads up the Brogue Kick on Christian but hits Cena square in the jaw. Christian rolls up both guys for two and Sheamus is TICKED. He loads up the High Cross (running Razor’s Edge) into the pod but Christian escapes to the top of a pod. Orton catches Sheamus in a superplex and Chrisitan adds a top rope splash to eliminate the Irishman. Orton tries the Elevated DDT on Christian but the Canadian escapes, only to get caught by the running knee for the pin and the elimination.

We get a fourway standoff until Orton and Cesaro are knocked down. Cena and Bryan have their long awaited rematch with Bryan trying a quick YES Lock but Cena easily powers out. The AA is loaded up but Cesaro Germans Cena as he’s STILL HOLDING BRYAN but can only get two. Cena can’t get the STF on Cesaro but he counters the gutwrench into what was supposed to be a hurricanrana. An AA onto the steel sets up the STF and Cesaro taps in an awkward looking moment. There might have been an injury there.

Cena catches Orton in the STF and we’ve got Wyatts. The lights go out and Orton is out of the hold somehow as the Wyatts are in the Chamber. Harper kicks Bryan in the face but all three go after Cena. John is laid out (Fans: “THANK YOU WYATTS!”) and the Wyatts leave, giving Orton an easy pin. We’re down to Orton vs. Bryan and Randy wisely crawls out of the ring.

Kane comes out to eject the Wyatts but the Chamber door is still open. He comes in to check on Cena but Bryan comes off the top with a knee to Kane’s head. Orton sends Bryan into the broken pod but Daniel escapes a superplex and ties Orton in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the chest. A baseball slide to the face has Orton in trouble a belly to back superplex gets two.

Randy grabs him by the beard (why has that not been done more often) and hits the Elevated DDT out of the corner. The RKO is countered and there’s the running knee but Kane grabs the referee. Kane gets kicked in the head but the RKO is enough….for TWO on Bryan. I totally bought that as the finish. Bryan gets another close two on a small package and a big kick to the head puts Orton down. Kane gets in another shot from behind though and the RKO retains the title at 36:50.

Rating: A. Another awesome match to wrap up the show here with all six guys looking good. Orton winning was kind of expected after he lost almost every match in the last few weeks because that’s how WWE booking works. I’m really hoping we don’t get Kane vs. Bryan at Wrestlemania as it would come off as a huge letdown for him, but it would work as a big Raw match.

Cole goes on a rant about how unfair this is to Bryan. This was the focal point of the end of the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a two match show and both matches hit it out of the park. WWE is on a roll right now with their PPVs but none of them matter with Wrestlemania just a few weeks away. The ending wasn’t a huge surprise but there are still a lot shows to go before we get to the big one. Hopefully a few things change but if Wrestlemania is this good, it’s going to be a success.

Results

Big E. b. Jack Swagger – Big Ending

New Age Outlaws b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus

Wyatt Family b. Shield – Sister Abigail to Reigns

Cameron b. AJ Lee via DQ when Tamina interfered

Batista b. Alberto Del Rio – Batista Bomb

Randy Orton b. Christian, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Cesaro – RKO to Bryan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Wrestlemania is six weeks away and tomorrow will determine a lot of what we’ll be seeing at the biggest show of them all.The kickoff match is a meaningless tag between Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel.  It’s kind of amazing that the Brothers have fallen as far as they have in just a month.  They were the hottest act the tag division has seen in months and then it’s been thrown away for the sake of the New Age Outlaws.  In 2014.  Anyway there is zero reason for Ryback and Axel to win, which is why I think they will so we can get closer to Goldust vs. Cody which is allegedly a match everyone needs to see.

We’ll start the main card with the most obvious win ever: Batista beats Del Rio and you really shouldn’t need an explanation why.  One thing though: We’re supposed to cheer a guy who put Del Rio in a neck brace and then attacked him while he was still injured after Del Rio was angry that Batista hadn’t earned any of his recent success.  Why is WWE surprised people aren’t interested in Batista?

I’m going with the Outlaws to keep the titles.  I have a bad feeling they’ll keep them on the old guys until Wrestlemania where they’ll be in some multi team match where the Usos will get them, because a team like the Outlaws just couldn’t lose a clean one on one match.  Perish the thought.  Sidebar on the Outlaws: I have no idea where the team is supposed to be going.  The idea was supposed to be HHH pushing his friends, but the Outlaws won the match and rematch clean and have acted like faces the entire time.  How does this benefit anyone but Gunn and Road Dogg?

Langston should beat Swagger, but I have a feeling he won’t.  The Real Americans should be splitting, but there has to be a way to get Colter on Swagger’s side and away from Cesaro.  Having Jack win a title while Cesaro comes up short would be a decent enough way, but I don’t want Cesaro being wasted on Swagger at Wrestlemania.  We’ll go with Langston retaining to keep things from getting too messy.

Titus over Darren.  Young is a decent enough wrestler, but there’s just nothing interesting about him.  It’s refreshing to get a basic heel turn and blowoff match as a result though.

The big match of the evening is inside the CHamber and the most anticipated could be as well if there was ever a rematch.  The Wyatts vs. Shield has the potential to steal the first half of the year and the build has been excellent.  Bray vs. Reigns could be an outstanding collision which goes to show you what happens when you take two guys and build them up to the point where neither could conceivably lose.  I’ll go with the Wyatts here in what should be more obvious that it is.  One more note that I’ve been saying for the previous week: Bray vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania.  Any takers?

That brings us to the big one.  I think we can safely write off Sheamus, Cesaro and Christian (more on this later).  Cena isn’t a likely winner due to the Wyatts as Bray vs. Cena seems to be set in stone.  That leaves us with Orton vs. Bryan and Daniel is coming in with a bad shoulder courtesy of the Authority.  Couple that with Orton losing most of his matches leading up to it and Orton is almost a layup to win.

However there’s one thing to remember: the Network launching on Monday.  That leaves the door open for the very rare one night title reign or a surprise title change on Raw.  I don’t think it’s going to happen, but if it does I’ll go with Cesaro on a very long shot.

Overall Elimination Chamber has the chance to be a solid show with the six man tag looking to be as easy of a great match as you’ll find.  That being said, the show also has me worried about where things are going.  For the life of me I cannot imagine Batista getting a one on one title shot against Orton at Wrestlemania.  There’s a chance we might see that match on Monday instead, but something has to stop that match from happening.  Bryan doesn’t have to be in the title match and facing HHH would be fine, but man alive Orton vs. Batista is just not going to do it for the main event of Wrestlemania.  We’ll find out a lot tomorrow, but we’ll find out even more on Monday.

Thoughts/predictions?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2014
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and everything is set for Sunday. Monday ended with a huge brawl between the twelve people in the two biggest matches on Sunday which is a good way to end a show. The main event for tonight is Sheamus vs. Christian after Christian turned heel on Monday. Let’s get to it.

No In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr. Even TNA had one of those. Maybe on Sunday.

Opening sequence.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

Bryan is nursing a bad shoulder after Christian and Kane attacked him on Raw. Jack goes after the shoulder to start but Bryan takes him to the mat and grabs a headlock. Two running dropkicks in the corner send Swagger to the floor but he catches Bryan charging off the apron and drops him onto the barricade. The bad shoulder goes into the barricade and post as Jack is being much more aggressive tonight.

Swagger stays on the arm by wrapping it around the ropes and driving in knees before slamming him down on the shoulder. Another slam gets two and Jack takes him to the top for what looks to be a northern lights superplex onto the arm. It’s nice to see someone mixing up their offense on a limb like that. Bryan slips down before Swagger can through him though and the running knee connects out of nowhere for the pin at 4:48. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted, but this is the kind of booking that makes me shake my head. We’re supposed to buy Swagger, known as losing more often than he wins, as a challenger for a title on Sunday so why would you have him lose clean in less than five minutes? Obviously you can’t put him over Bryan, so WHY PUT THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Have Jack beat up Sin Cara or Ziggler or Miz or have Cesaro come in for the DQ before Bryan can cover. Just don’t have Swagger get pinned this soon before a title shot.

Post match Vickie Guerrero comes out and makes Bryan vs. Cesaro because she’s a heel now after acting like a face with Colter last week.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro

Cesaro goes right after the arm to start by taking Bryan into the corner and driving knees into the shoulder. Daniel comes back with some kicks but a single shot to the shoulder puts him right back down. Cesaro takes him into the middle of the ring and cranks on the arm even more before slamming it down onto the mat. Again, it’s much better to mix up the offense than to use the same move over and over again. Keep it fresh.

Bryan fights up and goes to the middle rope but dives into a shoulder breaker for two. We hit the armbar as Cole thinks Bryan should just give up now and save himself for Sunday. Daniel is able to knock Cesaro to the floor and hit the FLYING GOAT but a Colter distraction lets Cesaro kick the bad shoulder. Jack gets caught with a chair and gets ejected for his efforts. Colter gets the same and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro pummeling Bryan in the corner with Kane at ringside. Cesaro loads up a superplex, making sure to bend Bryan’s arm as slowly as possible, but Daniel headbutts him down and scores with a missile dropkick. The YES Kicks give Daniel a breather but the big one is countered into the Swing. Back in and Cesaro throws Bryan into the air for Swiss Death which might have hit the shoulder. Another running uppercut in the corner has Bryan reeling but he comes out with a running knee to knock Cesaro silly, only to draw in Kane for the DQ at 10:20 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C+. This ending works much better as Bryan was in trouble but Cesaro still could have kicked out due to Bryan not being able to cover immediately. The arm work here was good and they still have an out to keep the title off Bryan on Sunday, or a way to have him overcome the odds and shock the world. I’m still hoping we get Kane vs. Bryan on a big Raw before Wrestlemania and HHH vs. Bryan at the PPV if he doesn’t get in the title match.

Kane announces the result like he did on Monday. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Bryan to blow off some steam.

Christian talks about being more aggressive because he knows his window to be champion again is closing. The last few weeks haven’t been going the way he’d hoped and he had to figure it out before the Chamber. These people at home stuffing their faces aren’t going to help him so he had to do it himself.

Bella Twins video on how to use the Network.

We look at The Shield and Wyatts nearly colliding on Monday before brawling to end the show. I’d take Bray vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania right now.

The Wyatts come out for their match. Bray says there isn’t much left to say now. The Shield are just three dominoes in a line and then the rest shall fall. They want people to believe in them but how can that happen when they’re crawling on their hands and knees, looking up at the eater of worlds? Follow the buzzards.

Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio

Harper and Rey get things going with the big man tossing Rey around, only to have Rhodes come in off a blind tag. A running clothesline gets two on Luke and it’s off to Rowan vs. Goldust with the painted one taking over. Goldust ducks a right hand in the corner and fires off some punches of his own, only to get caught in a fallaway slam. Bray himself comes in for a hard clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Harper Gator Rolling Goldust before putting on a headlock. Goldust fights up and hits a quick sunset bomb but Luke rolls through before a count. The hot tag brings in Cody with a springboard missile dropkick and the moonsault press for two. The fans aren’t getting all that fires up by this match. Rey comes in off another blind tag as Harper is sent to the floor. Back in and Harper counters the 619 with a big boot to give Bray a two count.

Rowan comes back in for a bearhug and a big side slam for two. Luke gets another tag and hammers on Rey for a few seconds before it’s back to Bray for the running splash in the corner. Rey counters a second one with a drop toehold and it’s off to Goldust to speed things up a bit.

A spinebuster puts Rowan down and the spinning cross body does the same. Rey comes in with a 619 to set up a Goldust powerslam for two. Harper catches Rey diving over the ropes and slams him into the barricade as Bray makes a blind tag. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams to Erick but Wyatt runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:52.

Rating: B-. This was the usual six man tag between the Wyatts and any group of three midcard guys, meaning it was entertaining but nothing we haven’t seen before. The Family is getting better in the ring and there’s something awesome about Bray just throwing his body into people like a battering ram.

We recap Sheamus accidentally kicking Christian last week.

Sheamus says he’s partially responsible for Christian’s new side. Christian is aggressive now and that’s what Sheamus wants. Tonight’s Brogue Kick won’t be an accident. Another simple but to the point promo from Sheamus which is better than his Irish folk tale nonsense.

Time for a dance off between Summer Rae and Emma. Quick summary of the next five minutes: Emma wins, the fans still don’t care, Summer calls Fandango her baby boopsie, Santino and Fandango brawl and no one cares.

Ron Simmons Black History Month video.

Alexander Rusev will achieve greatness.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O’Neil

Darren Young is on commentary. Dolph scores with an early dropkick but gets thrown down to the mat with ease. Titus cranks on the arm but gets caught by a cross body and right hands. Some more punches in the corner have Titus in trouble but he comes back with a big boot. Darren gets on the announcers’ table and blows the whistle for a distraction so Dolph can get a rollup pin at 2:40.

Road Dogg vs. Jimmy Uso

Dog gets taken into the corner to start but comes back with some kicks to the rib and one to the side of the head. We hit a quick chinlock on Jimmy but he comes back with a Samoan drop. A right hand misses and Dogg fires off his shaky punches but Jimmy escapes the pumphandle and superkicks Roadie for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up the Tag Title shot on Sunday. There’s still no reason to keep the titles on the Outlaws, which is why I’d almost bet they hold onto them until at least Extreme Rules, probably getting a win at Wrestlemania in a multi team tag match. Nothing to see here though the Usos can wrestle singles matches decently enough.

Video on the Chamber.

Sheamus vs. Christian

Sheamus shoves him around to start and an elbow sends Christian out to the apron. Back in and Christian punches Sheamus in the face which brings a smile to the Irishman’s face. Christian low bridges a charging Sheamus to the floor but misses a baseball slide and walks into the rolling fireman’s carry on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock but getting sent into 619 position. Christian tries his jump over the top rope into a right hand but Sheamus blocks the punch and shoves him into the barricade. Sheamus charges at him but gets backdropped to the timekeeper’s area to change control. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two for Christian and he goes after the surgically repaired shoulder.

The arm is wrapped around the ropes and Sheamus bites the ropes to get through the pain. More cranking on the arm ensues but Christian escapes the Killswitch. Some right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he’s still able to slam Christian off the top. The running ax handles and a powerslam get two on Christian but he comes back with a tornado DDT on the arm for two.

Christian tries to snap Sheamus’ neck against the ropes but gets countered into the ten forearms, only to send Sheamus shoulder first into the post for two. Sheamus comes back with a pair of Irish Curses but Christian bails to the floor to avoid the Brogue. Back in and Christian slams Sheamus off the top to take over. The middle rope back elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Sheamus counters into White Noise for the pin at 12:48 shown of 15:48.

Rating: B-. This was Sheamus 101: a nice match where he beats an upper midcarder to set up a match against main eventers that he has no chance of winning. He’s the main event jobber and there’s nothing wrong with that role. The fans are into his act too, even if there’s nothing deep to him. Nice main event but it showed the problem with Christian as a heel. He barely ever won a big match as a face and his finisher isn’t optimal given how long it takes to set up

Sheamus poses but Christian shoves him off the top and to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Good way to go into the Chamber here as Sheamus gets some spotlight of his own instead of sharing it like he’s done since he returned. The Chamber card looks pretty good but I’m worried about the end results and how they’re going to shape up Wrestlemania. I could have gone for a Shield promo but it’s still a good way to set up Sunday.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – Running knee

Daniel Bryan b. Cesaro via DQ when Kane interfered

Wyatt Family b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Goldust

Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Jimmy Uso b. Road Dogg – Superkick

Sheamus b. Christian – White Noise

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Not one of my more exact ideas but it’s pretty accurate.Orton tends to work better against guys smaller than he is.  Think about it.

 

Good Matches With Orton

Cena

Christian

Ziggler

Shawn Michaels

 

Not So Good Matches With Orton

HHH

Sheamus

Big Show

Edge

 

Orton is about 6’4, or the same height as Edge and HHH.  Like I said, not an exact science but most things in wrestling aren’t.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 17, 2014
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and it’s not a good time to be Randy Orton. He’s 1-3 in his gauntlet so far and tonight he gets to face Sheamus before getting to face all five challengers at once on Sunday. Other than that we can look forward to more from the Shield vs. the Wyatt Family after the Wyatts backed out of a physical confrontation last week. Let’s get to it.

Cena opens us up for the first time in a good while. He talks about how this Sunday is the Elimination Chamber and winning inside the Chamber is a guaranteed main event at Wrestlemania against Batista. Cena has been on the road to Wrestlemania several times and the only person on that road that doesn’t have any momentum is Randy Orton. A few weeks ago Randy Orton was beaten by Daniel Bryan and then last week he was beaten by Cena.

The odds say that we’ll be having a new WWE World Heavyweight Champion and here are Colter and Cesaro to cut him off. Cesaro says he’ll be the new face of America and he gets in the ring to face Cena. John says that Cesaro won on Friday but all that means is that Orton is on a losing streak. Cesaro is in for a fight he’s never experienced on Sunday so don’t write checks that your body can’t cash.

This brings out Sheamus who says that he’ll be kicking both of their teeth in on Sunday and there’s a Brogue Kick waiting on Orton tonight. Cue Christian who says Sheamus should have saved the Brogue Kick for Dean Ambrose instead of kicking Christian like he did. Christian knows it was an accident, but on Sunday the Killswitch won’t be an accident.

Orton gets us up to five people with microphones and thanks the Authority for the chance to beat them all on Sunday. He knows Cena beat him last week but Cena can’t beat him when it counts. Orton and Christian have had some great matches but Orton has won every one of them. Sheamus’ Brogue Kick isn’t getting anywhere near him tonight….and here’s Bryan for another interruption. There are going to be five other people in the Chamber, but the entire arena is going to be chanting YES.

Cue Kane to a big YOU SOLD OUT chant. Apparently the Authority has left him in charge tonight and since Sheamus is facing Randy Orton, perhaps the other four of them should be in action as well. Therefore it’s Cesaro vs. Cena and Christian vs. Daniel Bryan and Kane will be staying at ringside for the latter of those, because it’s right now.

Kane looks at Bryan and Daniel gets distracted but Christian jumps him from behind in a very heelish move. He sends Bryan to the floor and throws him into the barricade as the fans aren’t pleased. Bryan goes shoulder first into the steps and we take a break before the match actually starts.

Christian vs. Daniel Bryan

The bell rings after a break with Bryan nursing a sore shoulder. Bryan starts with a quick knee to the ribs and some European uppercuts to knockt he Canadian to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is blocked with a shot to the jaw as Kane watches from ringside. Back in and Christian does the smart thing by going after the bad arm with a wristlock and a shoulder block for two.

Bryan elbows out of a hammerlock but Christian nails him in the jaw for two. Christian channels his inner Rocky Marciano and punches the shoulder but has to escape a half crab attempt. He drops knees on the arm and shouts that he should be the champion Bryan knocks him out to the floor and hits the FLYING GOAT, only to injure his shoulder as we go to a break.

Back with Bryan hitting a knee to Christian’s ribs and the crowd YESes him on. The YES Kicks set up the big one to the head for two but the swan dive hits knees, injuring the shoulder again. The running dropkick connects in the corner but Christian blocks a second with his feet. Christian scores with the middle rope back elbow but the Killswitch is countered into the YES Lock but Christian fights out. Another Killswitch attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: C+. Well so much for buying Christian as a contender on Sunday. The match was fine and Bryan sold the arm quite well as you would expect him to do. Christian turning heel for the Chamber is fine as you don’t want to have four faces and two heels and Christian can turn as fast as anyone else. Nice opener.

Post match Kane congratulates him on the win but says Bryan isn’t done yet. He has one more match tonight, against Kane. The monster gets in the ring and easily knocks Bryan to the floor before their match after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Joined in progress with Kane in an undershirt and sending Bryan shoulder first into the buckle. A suplex gets two on Daniel and it’s back to right hands on the arm. The arm is wrapped around the rope and the fans think this is boring. Daniel comes back with a quick missile dropkick and starts having his usual seizure of a comeback. Some very weak looking YES Kicks are countered with a choke shove over the top. Daniel is sent shoulder first into the barricade before being bent around the post for a five count and the DQ at 4:00 shown.

Rating: D+. This was angle advancement instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re stacking the deck even more against Bryan on Sunday which is likely setting up HHH vs. Bryan at Wrestlemania. Again though, I can’t imagine they’re crazy enough to not put him in the title match at the biggest show of the year.

Kane stays on the arm post match and crushes it against the steps.

After a clip of Henry vs. Ambrose last week, Ambrose brags about the beating he gave Henry last week. Reigns calls him out on this and says that he’ll show Dean how it’s done tonight. Seth says that the Shield is on the same page and they’re bred for war on Sunday. Dean calls the Wyatts an illusion and they don’t experience fear. Believe in the Shield.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Emma is with Santino and we get some clips of her time in NXT. Fandango takes over with a quick elbow to the jaw and a headbutt. Santino avoids a middle rope knee drop and hits his facebuster before loading up the Cobra. Emma intercepts Summer Rae and puts her in an airplane spin of all things. Santino and Emma have their romantic moment but Fandango breaks up the kiss and ends Santino with a falcon’s arrow at 2:42.

Renee Young asks Henry how he’ll do against Roman Reigns.  Henry says tonight is about inducting Reigns into the Hall of Pain because that’s what he does.

Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns

The fans are behind Reigns as he hammers away on Mark to get us going. Henry blocks an Irish whip so Reigns casually picks him up in a Samoan drop for two. Reigns kicks him out of the corner and hits the Superman Punch followed by the spear for the pin at 2:45. Basically a squash.

Post match Rollins congratulates Reigns on his win but Ambrose stomps on Henry for last week. Reigns asks Dean what he’s doing but we’ve got Wyatts. Bray is singing a children’s Christian song about having the joy down in his heart as we get closer to Elimination Chamber. The Shield’s shattered bones will pave the streets of his kingdom but he wants to know if this was all worth it for the Shield.

Harper asks if they’re willing to die for this and Bray says if not, then they’ve already lost. Reigns grabs a mic and says come out here and say that. Bray says it’s funny he should say that because the Wyatts were thinking the same thing. Rowan speaks for the first time and says run. The Wyatts come to the aisle and get on the apron but only Bray gets inside. Reigns smiles and steps forward as Harper and Rowan join their leader. Ambrose and Rollins are ready to go but Bray calls off the monsters and the Wyatts leave.

The kickoff match for Sunday is Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel.

Cody and Goldust play with new WWE toys and have a bizarre family moment talking about trying to make hamsters fly. Bad News Barrett comes in and kicks the toys away.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

Jack pounds Kofi down in the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The fans almost immediately start chanting for JBL and then CM Punk as Swagger hits the Vader Bomb for two. Kofi gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Swagger and hits a few forearms and dropkicks. Jack counters a sunset flip but Kofi comes back with Delirious’ Shadows Over Heck of all things for two. An SOS out of nowhere gets two but Swagger had his foot on the ropes. A high cross body gets two but Swagger rolls through into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 4:40.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to give Swagger some momentum going into Sunday and that’s the right idea. Jack is just another challenger of the month for Big E. and that’s something that can be set up in just a few matches like it has been here. Kofi is a good hand to have in this roll as he’s not going to lose anything by getting beat here.

Big E. comes down for his match and stares at Swagger.

Big E. vs. Drew McIntyre/Jinder Mahal

3MB is easily pounded down as Zeb gets on the mic and talks trash during the match. Colter insults the Broncos and calls Big E a moron as 3MB double teams him for a few moments. The champ easily fights back and sends McIntyre to the floor before belly to bellying both guys. The Warrior Splash crushes both of them and the Big Ending to both guys is enough to pin McIntyre at 4:15.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this was exactly what it needed to be. Big E. (he needs the Langston back already) hasn’t been doing his best lately and this is the kind of win that he’s been looking for to get back to form. Beating a former world champion on PPV isn’t going to hurt him at all either.

Alexander Rusev is still coming.

Ron Simmons Black History Month video.

Video on the Elimination Chamber match.

Cena says we’ll see what Cesaro is made of.

John Cena vs. Cesaro

Cesaro grabs a headlock to start but Cena comes back with a hiptoss to send Cesaro outside. Back in and they do the same sequence but Cesaro counters Cena’s leapfrog into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere but Cesaro knocks Cena to the floor with ease. John is sent into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. A middle rope elbow gets two for Cesaro but Cena comes back with his lift into a neckbreaker for two. Cesaro comes back with a hard whip into the corner and baseball slides Cena out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro putting on a sleeper but Cena rams him into the corner to escape. A running clothesline gets two on John and we hit the chinlock. Cena’s comeback is thwarted again but he counters the Swing into an STF attempt, only to have Cesaro counter into the gutwrench for two. Cena has had barely any offense here. Another comeback bid is stopped with Swiss Death for two.

The Swing is loaded up again but Cena does a HUGE situp into a DDT for another close two. Cena goes up for the Fameasser but Cesaro hits a running uppercut to knock him all the way to the floor. Cesaro hits the awesome superplex from the apron for two as the fans are WAY into this.

Cena grabs a quick STF but pulls Cesaro away from the ropes, allowing Cesaro to hook the Swing for about fifteen revolutions and a two count. The Neutralizer is countered into an AA attempt but Cesaro lands on his feet in an amazing counter. Cena takes his head off with a clothesline and immediately rolls forward and picks up Cesaro for the AA and a fast pin at 19:05. Colter: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Rating: A. This is the match I’ve been wanting to see for years now and it worked as well as I was hoping it to. Cena had almost no offense the entire match and made Cesaro look like one of the fastest rising stars you’ll see in years. Outstanding match here and more evidence that people who say Cena can’t wrestle have no idea what they’re talking about.

HHH and Orton are in the back and Orton implies that HHH will help him on SUnday.  Orton runs his mouth about HHH carrying Batista through Evolution and of course Big Dave is behind him.  Orton leaves and here’s Alberto Del Rio in a neckbrace to threaten Batista on Sunday.  Batista shoves him into some carts and walks away, leaving HHH looking dismayed.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil has been added to the PPV. Titus cuts off Renee Young and asks her if she can spell champion. “C-h-a-….” but Titus cuts her off again and says it’s “T-I-T-U-S!”. On Sunday he’ll run Young over and the entire locker room will have to witness the rise of Titus O’Neil.

Wyatt Family vs. Los Matadores/Sin Cara

This should be quick. Diego tries his luck on Rowan to start but his shoulder block winds up hurting him more than Erick. Off to Luke for a hard forearm before Bray comes in for some creepy shouting and a suplex. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll but Diego finally scores with an enziguri.

The hot tag brings in Sin Cara who leaves a springboard clothesline a bit short but still hits a headscissors to knock Bray off the apron. The handspring elbow gets two as everything breaks down. Torito tries to go after Rowan but Los Matadores make the save. Sin Cara misses the Swanton on Harper and the discus lariat sets the table for Sister Abigail and the pin at 5:34.

Rating: D+. Just an extended squash here and thankfully Torito wasn’t a big factor in this. The good thing for the Family is how awesome Harper and Rowan look, meaning they’ll have a future when the group breaks up. The showdown on Sunday is going to be insane and it’s easily the match I’m looking forward to the most.

Billy Gunn vs. Jey Uso

Roadie and Jimmy are on commentary and the Tag Title match is made official for Sunday. Billy is quickly sent to the floor and Dogg gets up to check on him. Back in and a running clothesline gets two on Jey as Roadie shrugs off jokes about his age. The camera stays on the commentary table as Billy pounds away in the corner. Road Dogg brings up singing With My Baby Tonight to bring us back to the mid 90s. The Fameasser is countered into a quick rollup for the pin at 3:13. Too much of the match was spent on the commentary table to rate but this was angle advancement more than wrestling.

The Usos lay out the champions post match.

Sheamus is looking forward to the Chamber because he can be as aggressive as he wants.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Non-title of course. The fans immediately start chanting for Punk as Sheamus takes Orton into the corner and shoulders him to the floor. Sheamus follows him out and is sent into the post but Orton is sent into the announce table to even things up. Back in and a knee drop gets two for Sheamus but he misses an early Brogue Kick attempt and is sent into the post again as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock and taking it to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Orton comes right back with a whip into the steps but Sheamus counters the superplex into a top rope battering ram to put both guys down. Randy bails again and goes after a monitor, only to catch Sheamus in the belly to back onto the announce table in a big crash.

Sheamus dives in at nine and avoids a knee drop, allowing the pale one to come back with forearms, only to walk into the powerslam for two. Orton is sent to the apron and there are the ten forearms. White Noise is countered into the backbreaker and the Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO. Sheamus casually shrugs it off and hits three straight Irish Curses before loading up the Brogue Kick, only to have Shield run in for the DQ at 14:50.

Rating: C+. I feel sorry for these guys. They were in the match at the post Raw Wrestlemania with the New Jersey crowd and now they have to go on after Cena and Cesaro have their classic. The ending has me thinking something changes on Sunday and Reigns gets inside the Chamber but it’s a long way off.

The rest of the Chamber guys run in and we’ve got Wyatts. They stare down the Shield and the brawl is on to end the show. The fans went NUTS for the two teams fighting.

Overall Rating: A. Now THAT is how you do a go home show. Every match for Sunday got some time, the wrestling was good, the showdown between the Wyatts and Shield had me ready to hand over my money to see the payoff and we got a huge rub for Cesaro. This is the show that WWE has been needing for a few weeks, and I’m sure the fact that HHH was limited to a cameo had nothing at all to do with the quality going up. Awesome show this week that has me ready for Sunday.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Christian – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane wouldn’t stop bending Bryan’s arm around the post

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Falcon’s arrow

Roman Reigns b. Mark Henry – Spear

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Patriot Lock

Big E. b. Jinder Mahal/Drew McIntyre – Big Ending to McIntyre

John Cena b. Cesaro – Attitude Adjustment

Wyatt Family b. Sin Cara/Los Matadores – Sister Abigail to Sin Cara

Jey Uso b. Billy Gunn – Rollup

Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: February 14, 2014
Location: Citizens Bank Business Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s Valentines Day and we’re getting a nice gift in the form of Cesaro (now minus the Antonio) vs. Randy Orton in the fourth part of Orton’s Elimination Chamber gauntlet. Cesaro is rapidly gaining popularity and it would seem a face turn is imminent. Other than that we might get more on the Daniel Bryan vs. Kane feud. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Christian/Sheamus

Christian and Rollins get things going but Seth quickly takes him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. Roman catches a cross body attempt but gets popped in the face with a right hand. Sheamus comes in for the big power showdown and they slug it out for a bit before Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Reigns comes back with a knee to the ribs and brings in Ambrose who gets taken down by a running ax handle.

The fans demand Bryan and get their wish, followed by some rapid fire kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Shield comes in for the save and we have a standoff. Back from a break with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock and sending Rollins into the top turnbuckle, allowing him to tag off to Sheamus.

The pale one slides to the apron and comes back with the ten forearms to the chest but the other Shield members get involved to take over. Reigns does that awesome dropkick from the floor to the apron before LAUNCHING Sheamus into the barricade. That’s not something you see too often. Ambrose comes back in to stomp away in the corner before it’s off to Reigns again for hard shots to the head and ribs.

We hit the front facelock for a bit but Reigns lets it go to knock Bryan off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse. Rollins comes in and takes a swing at Christian but only hits air before missing a backsplash to Sheamus. Hot tag brings in Christian to face Ambrose and a tornado DDT gets two on the US Champion.

Everything breaks down and Bryan takes out Reigns with the FLYING GOAT. Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive of his own though and it’s Christian hooking the reverse DDT for two on Dean but the Brogue Kick misses Ambrose and takes out Christian. Reigns spears Sheamus down and Ambrose pins Christian at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This was more about the good guys building drama amongst themselves before they head into the Chamber in a little over a week. There weren’t any problems for Shield this time which is a good thing before their big six man tag. This was the usual Shield six man so it was fine all around.

Zeb Colter asks Vickie Guerrero to be his valentine but she’s not falling for it. Colter wants an Intercontinental Title shot for Jack Swagger but Vickie says he has to beat Rey Mysterio. That’s fine with Zeb but Vickie makes it a fourway with Kofi Kingston and Mark Henry filling the other spots. Vickie shoves the chocolates into Zeb’s chest, meaning she’s a face now?

Cesaro (officially without the Antonio) says he’ll win tonight and then take the title at Elimination Chamber.

Lita Hall of Fame video.

Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Big E. (on commentary) for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber. Henry quickly throws Swagger to the floor but gets taken down by Kofi and Rey. The two speed guys get to have a showdown with Rey dropkicking Kofi for two but they have to eliminate Swagger again. Kofi dives over the top to put Jack down again and Rey hits a running seated senton from the apron. Henry is back in and loads up a dive of his own, only to have Swagger take out his leg.

Two straight Vader Bombs have Henry in trouble but Jack has to clothesline Rey down for two. Mysterio comes back with a top rope seated senton for two followed by the sitout bulldog for two more with Kofi making the save. Rey is sent into the post before Kofi bounce up the ropes and dropkicks Swagger down before hitting the Boom Drop. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and Swagger loads up Kingston in a superplex. Henry tries to make it a Tower of Doom but Kofi holds on, meaning it’s only a powerbomb to Swagger.

Henry cleans house but Swagger takes out the leg again and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to have Mark kick him off. Rey hits a 619 to Mark’s ribs and Kofi adds Trouble in Paradise but Jack is on his feet again. Kofi grabs a German suplex on Rey but Jack suplexes both of them at once in a nice power display. Kingston is sent to the floor but slides back in to break up a 619 attempt. Henry makes the save but gets kicked to the floor by Kofi. The distraction lets Swagger catch Kofi in the Patriot Lock for the submission at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with everyone doing their job perfectly. I didn’t see the Mysterio knee injury but I’d guess it was on the seated senton from the apron as he went off camera for a few minutes as a result. Swagger getting the shot is a good enough choice as he was the only heel here and Henry vs. Big E. does nothing for me.

Raw ReBound covers Betty White and the Outlaws.

Bad News Barrett says American women are going to gain several pounds by tomorrow morning and be ashamed of what they see in the morning. Is there a point to this character coming anytime soon?

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel/New Age Outlaws

Billy and Goldust get things going with Gunn taking an atomic drop and the uppercut for a quick two. Off to Road Dogg vs. Cody with the sunset flip out of the corner getting two on Roadie. A clothesline gets the same and it’s off to an armbar from Rhodes. Jimmy comes in off the tag to stay on the arm and a double elbow gets two for the twins. Road Dogg takes Jey into the corner and it’s off to Axel for a dropkick. Ryback comes in for some driving shoulders in the corner and a hard slam as we take a break.

Back with Ryback elbowing Jey in the face and handing it off to Billy again. The Stinger Splash hits buckle and a double tag brings in Road Dogg and Jimmy. Everything breaks down with Jimmy cleaning house and hitting the running Umaga attack in the corner. Cody dives over the top to take out Axel but Ryback throws him into the barricade, only to walk into a Golden cannonball off the apron. A double superkick drops Road Dogg, Jey dives on the other heels and Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. This did its job but wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Most importantly of all though it gets us closer to the Usos getting their Tag Titles which they earned about two years ago. Ryback and Axel have nowhere to go at this point and I have no idea what’s next for Goldust and Cody. The tag division has a lot of names in it right now but it’s not a very deep talent pool.

Randy Orton says this gauntlet is just to make him better and all that matters is him being champion. Tonight, Cesaro gets the Viper.

Lana says Alexander Rusev isn’t coming to make friends.

Darren Young vs. Damien Sandow

Titus O’Neil is on commentary. Young catches Sandow in a quick atomic drop and clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Damien gets a knee to Darren’s ribs but You’re Welcome is countered into a rollup for the pin by Young at 1:07. So much for rebuilding Sandow.

Titus goes after Darren post match but Young rips his pants off. I’ll let you make your own jokes.

The Bellas show us how to use the WWE Network.

Fandango vs. The Miz

Miz dropkicks the knee out to start and rains down left hands in the corner but Fandango comes back with an atomic drop. A nice dropkick gets two and we hit the chinlock on Miz. It’s quickly broken and Miz fights back with some basic stuff and the Reality Check but gets kicked shoulder first into the post. This brings out Santino and Emma for a distraction and a cat fight between Emma and Summer. Distraction, Skull Crushing Finale, pin on Fandango at 3:47.

Rating: D. At least it was the better finisher. I’m not sure how I’d react if we got through a week of shows without the distraction finish. Santino and Emma are a decent enough cute pair but Emma is going to have to get away from him if she wants to get over. Santino is going to overshadow whoever he’s with due to how over the top he is and there’s not much of a way around that.

Bobo Brazil video.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

In the sitdown interview of the week, HHH said he thinks Cesaro might be the wildcard in the Chamber. Cesaro chases Orton to the floor to start but doesn’t go after him. They do the same thing again before Cesaro takes him to the mat and hits the gutwrench for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two more and they both head outside. Orton reverses a whip into the barricade and clotheslines Cesar as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cesaro into the announce table and taking him inside for a chinlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE and Cesaro fights out, only to lose a fist fight and get elbowed to the mat. Cesaro rolls outside and catches Orton with a big clothesline of his own and counters the Elevated DDT into the Swing. Randy can barely get to his feet but is able to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. Cesaro lands on his feet but runs into the powerslam for two.

Now the Elevated DDT connects and Orton points to the sign to make this serious. He spends too much time walking around though and it’s Swiss Death for two. They head to the corner where Orton tries a superplex but Cesaro counters into a sunset bomb. A discus uppercut sets up the Neutralizer for the completely clean pin at 12:44.

Rating: B-. Well you can’t give much more of a rub than that. However I’d be much happier with this if Kofi Kingston hadn’t gotten the same kind of a win just a month ago. Cesaro is a guy that could be world championship material with a good push (meaning getting away from Swagger) but I have a feeling this is just for the Chamber and then it’s back to nothing for not-Antonio.

Cesaro waves to Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good Smackdown tonight with some nice action and angle advancement which is all you can ask for anymore. Unfortunately I don’t think tonight is going to mean much. Cesaro isn’t winning the title and while Sheamus and Christian had some problems, I can’t imagine it’s anyone but Orton, Bryan or maybe Cena walking out of the Chamber with the title. Randy has to be the favorite even though he’s lost three out of his last five matches and might even lose to Sheamus on Monday, making him look like a lame duck champion heading into Wrestlemania.

The rest of the show was good stuff with a nice six man, a good four way, a watchable eight man and a short Miz match that involved good looking women fighting. That’s not bad at all when you consider what Smackdown means in the grand scheme of things anymore. Cesaro winning made me smile, but I can’t imagine it’s anymore more than false hope.

One more note: the spoilers I read said there was an Eva Marie vs. Alicia Fox match taped with Eva winning via rollup but there was no sign of it at all here.

Results

Shield b. Christian/Sheamus/Daniel Bryan – Ambrose pinned Christian after a Brogue Kick from Sheamus

The Miz b. Fandango – Skull Crushing Finale

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio and Mark Henry – Patriot Lock to Kingston

Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. New Age Outlaws/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Road Dogg

Darren Young b. Damien Sandow – Rollup

Cesaro b. Randy Orton – Neutralizer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: