Survivor Series 2000
Date: November 19, 2000
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 18,602
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After Austin was run over last year, it was revealed that Rikishi had been driving. Once people realized this was possibly the dumbest idea in wrestling history, the story was changed to Rikishi being the henchman for the real big bad: HHH. Tonight’s main event is Austin vs. HHH in a grudge match, along with Rock vs. Rikishi in a match that no one was asking for. Oh and remember that Angle guy that debuted here last year? He’s world champion now and defending against the now biker Undertaker. For some reason I never remember this show so hopefully it’ll make a better impression on me here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about HHH of course. This is one of those instances where I’m fine with the focus not being on the title match, because this story is more important.

Steve Blackman/Crash Holly/Molly Holly vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

If there’s a story here, I certainly can’t think of it. This was during the time where T&A took over the APA’s offices and called themselves the T&APA. Molly is brand new here and is still quite cute. Blackman is Hardcore Champion. Albert and Blackman start things off and apparently Crash is here because the APA left him in charge of the office. Speaking of Crash he comes in and dives into a slam from Albert, which is countered into a cross body.

Trish wants to beat up Crash but kicks Albert low instead. Off to Molly so Trish runs. Test comes in so Molly bails. We’re doing a lot of running around here without anything of note happening. Crash hits a nice slingshot rana for two but gets his head kicked off by Test. The Pumphandle Slam is escapes and Test is sent into Albert. Trish comes in and misses an elbow so it’s back to Molly. Albert pulls Molly’s hair but Trish can’t do anything with her yet. Blackman’s tag isn’t seen and T&A beats on Molly for a second before everything breaks down. A bulldog gets two for Trish but Molly finishes her with a top rope sunset flip.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t terrible or anything, but why wasn’t this a dark match? The story is barely there, the wrestling was just ok, and I don’t think this really fired up anyone for the show. I don’t get the thinking here but maybe they just wanted to get this out of the way before we got to everything else? That’s all I can think of. Trish and Molly looked good at least.

Molly is about to fall out of her top and Jerry loses it.

Christian is sick so Edge and Christian can’t help Angle in the world title match. They’re on for beers after the show though.

Tiger Ali Singh and Low Down (Chaz (Mosh from the Headbangers)/D’Lo Brown) can’t get into the building. This guy was around for years and never went anywhere.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero

Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Rock is here and doesn’t want to chat with Lillian.

Jericho talks about a beast that is about to explode, meaning himself against Kane. Jericho spilled coffee on Kane and made burn remarks, setting up this feud. Unfortunately Jericho didn’t get the Sanka on a Pole match.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Big pop for Jericho here. Jericho pounds away to start but the offense doesn’t have much effect. Kane slugs him down in the corner but Jericho keeps speeding things up. We head to the floor with Jericho diving mostly over the top to take Kane out. They head back to the apron and Jericho dropkicks Kane down to the floor. The steps get kicked into Kane’s face and the Canadian keeps control.

Jericho tries a top rope cross body but is easily caught and slammed down for two. Apparently Jericho has a bad back from being through through a window by Kane on Raw. Kane pounds him down in the corner but Jericho escapes a belly to back suplex with some right hands to the head. Jericho charges into a big boot and Kane hooks a freakish over the back choke, as in their backs are to each other with Kane pulling on Jericho’s chin while Jericho is in the air.

Kane pulls the buckle pad off but neither guy can get rammed into it. Kane uppercuts Jericho down over and over but Jericho keeps popping back up. Back to the floor with Kane still in full control. Kane goes up but gets crotched to slow him down. Another attempt at the clothesline jumps into a dropkick to the ribs and things speed up a bit.

Jericho blocks a big boot and goes up top with a missile dropkick getting two. Jericho’s forearm is caught but he slides down Kane’s back and rams him into the exposed buckle. There are the Walls on Kane for a good while but Kane finally crawls to the ropes. They get their legs intertwined and fall to the mat where Kane kicks Jericho off. In an embarrassing looking spot, Jericho hits the bulldog but Kane is too far away so the masked dude has to scoot over so it can hit. Not that it matters as he catches Jericho in a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me for the most part. The idea was supposed to be about Kane hating Jericho for insulting him, but instead this was just a wrestling match. On top of that the match wasn’t a particularly good one with Jericho not really doing anything beyond his basic stuff. Their last man standing match at Armageddon was much better.

Terri tells the Radicals that HHH has a plan for later.

European Title: Hardcore Holly vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and he complains about American manners before the match. Holly pounds away to start and Regal is more than comfortable in a fist fight. Regal trips Holly up and sends him shoulder first into the post. The fans don’t seem to care about this and I can’t say I blame them. Regal works on the arm for awhile before waving to the fans. Off to a cross armbreaker for awhile before Holly is stomped to the floor. Regal works on the arm a bit more but gets caught by a crossbody for two. A low blow stops Holly and it’s back to the arm. Holly finally snaps and goes to the floor, grabs the belt and hits Regal for the DQ.

Rating: D-. LAME match here as it kept going forever (even though it didn’t even last six minutes) and no one cared. Then on top of that Holly just goes to the floor and gets the belt for a DQ? Why would he do something like that? My guess is his brain was melted by how boring this match was. I have no idea what they were thinking here.

Angle is warming up in the back when Trish comes up. Tonight is the start of Angle’s second year in the company and Trish points out that Stephanie isn’t here tonight, so maybe Kurt needs some “special” assistance.. Angle appreciates it but doesn’t need Test and Albert. Kurt was hilarious back then.

We recap Rock vs. Rikishi. Rikishi was revealed as the driver of the car that ran over Austin. When he was explaining what he did, he said that he did it for the Rock. Rock rose up the card during Austin’s absence because while Austin was there, the Samoans were being held down. Yep, they turned it into a race thing. Rikishi was in a car driven by HHH and drove at Rock, hitting him in the chest with a sledgehammer, leaving Rock in bad shape coming into tonight.

Rikishi vs. The Rock

Rock charges at the ring and it’s on quickly. Rock pounds Rikishi against the ropes and hits a Samoan Drop. He grabs a chair but Tim White disarms Rock, allowing Rikishi to superkick him down. A single stomp to Rock’s injured chest gives the fat man control. Rikishi hits a legdrop and Rock is already in trouble. Rock tries some right hands but Rikishi takes him right back down with a side slam for two.

Rock sends him to the floor and sends Rikishi’s head into the steps. Seriously, Rock, you’re half Samoan. You know better than that. Rikishi pops back up and drops Rock chest first onto the barricade to take over again. The referee gets run over and we head back into the ring. Rikishi pulls out a sledgehammer but walks into a Rock Bottom before he can swing it. The referee crawls back in but it only gets a very delayed two.

Rikishi takes him down again and hits a headbutt to the chest to take over again. A Samoan Drop puts Rock down and Rikishi sits down on his chest for two. Rikishi rams into Rock in the corner and loads up a Stinkface to humiliate Rock a bit. Rock explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. A superkick misses and Rock spinebusters him down. The People’s Elbow gets…the pin? A single elbow apparently is enough to keep Rikishi down for about 40 seconds while Rock crawls over to him. That’s one heck of an elbow.

Rating: C+. This took a bit to get going but once they got to the big slugfest stuff it was a lot better. At the end of the day though, Rikishi just did not belong in this world and he never worked as a heel. He’s a fat guy in a thong and not a guy that people want to boo. Thankfully once the six man Cell was over he pretty much just stopped being a main eventer and formed a Samoan monster team with Haku.

Post match Rikishi destroys Rock and lays him out with a bunch of Banzai Drops to the bad chest.

HHH is with the Radicals when Foley comes in and bans the Radicals from ringside in the main event. HHH doesn’t care so Foley makes it No DQ as well. HHH still doesn’t care. Methinks evil is afoot.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita

Ivory is in the RTC and is defending here. Lita goes straight at her and the fight is on fast. A quick hiptoss puts Ivory down as does an enziguri. Ivory comes back with a clothesline as Jerry panics over seeing Lita’s thong. Ivory hits a right hand and HOLY SWEET GOODNESS is Lita bleeding from it! I mean she is GUSHING. During the replay of it, Lita botches a rana and drives Ivory’s head into the mat. I’m not sure which of those hurt worse.

Steven Richards comes out so Lita throws Ivory to the floor and hits a big dive to take both of them out. A cross body gets two for Lita but the moonsault misses thanks to Steven. Ivory misses a belt shot and gets suplexed down. Lita takes her own top off but the moonsault hits knees. Apparently Ivory pulled the belt up and knocked Lita out with it to retain.

Rating: D. This was like any Raw match you would have ever seen. That’s the theme for this show so far: most of the matches are nothing special and could have been on most TV shows. Lita looked out of it in there, which says a lot for her as she got WAY better in a few years, as did Trish. Nothing to see here. Ivory would start feuding with Chyna very soon.

Coach has no updates on Rock.

Jericho jumps Kane and beats him up, setting up their rematch.

We recap Angle vs. Undertaker. Angle won EVERYTHING his rookie year and Taker is Taker. That’s about the extent of the feud.

Taker says this is his show and he’ll win the title.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending if that wasn’t clear. Before the match, Angle asks us for a moment of silence to reflect on our favorite Angle moment of the last year. We get some Florida can’t vote right jokes before Angle lists off his accomplishments in the last year. Taker cuts him off before Kurt gets to the Eurocontinental Title. This is the match where Taker is wearing the stupid looking light camo pants. If there’s one thing Taker should always wear, it’s dark colors.

Angle stalls on the floor to start and won’t get in the ring to fight. Taker goes out and gets a chair as Angle is in the ring. The champ hides behind the referee and Taker throws the chair over to Kurt to even the odds. As Taker is removing his coat, Angle blasts him with the chair and the bell finally rings. Taker pounds away in the corner to start but apparently punches himself out, allowing Undertaker to hammer away in the corner. A legdrop gets two for Taker as he pulls Angle up.

Old School (I know it’s called that because Taker shouts OLD SCHOOL before hitting it) hits but Taker would rather walk around than cover. Angle bails to the floor before the chokeslam can hit and things slow down again. This is Angle’s game at the point: hang in there long enough until he can find an opening and attack. Back in and Angle snaps off a suplex to take over and send Taker to the floor. Now Angle is telling Taker to get in the ring and fight. Nice touch.

Kurt dives off the apron at Taker but gets caught with ease (Kurt: “OH GOD NO!”) and rammed into the post. Taker does it again for fun and Angle is in trouble. Back in and Taker pounds away on the back but Angle gets in some shots to the leg to take over. The leg gets wrapped around the middle rope but Taker comes back with a Fujiwara Armbar. Here are Edge and Christian for a distraction a second before Angle taps out. Like every other schmuck face, Taker lets go of the hold when he has Angle dead to rights.

Angle picks the leg and takes Taker down again before hooking a leg lock. This goes on for awhile because the fact that Taker hasn’t tapped out in ten years has never taught a heel that his hold is no better than anyone elses. Taker escapes and bails to the floor to beat up the Canadians who I believe are ejected. Back in and there’s the chokeslam as Taker’s leg is fine. Edge and Christian have the referee again so the chokeslam only gets two.

A quick rollup with tights gets two for Kurt and a Russian legsweep gets the same for Taker. After a quick breather for Angle on the floor, he comes back in for a bad Figure Four on the challenger. Taker reverses and Angle gets the rope as is the custom for this sequence. A powerslam gets two for Taker but Angle goes right back to the leg. Kurt throws the Figure Four on around the post but Taker kicks him off.

Back in and Taker is right back up to his feet because he doesn’t feel like selling tonight. There’s only so much Angle can do when all the work he does on the leg doesn’t mean anything because Taker won’t just freaking limp. Angle hits Taker low and like an idiot tries a Tombstone. Taker counters the counter and drills Angle off the apron to the floor.

Kurt dives under the ring but Taker pulls him back out. Back in and Taker hits the Last Ride….but the referee won’t count the three. Why not? Because that’s not Kurt Angle. That’s ERIC Angle, Kurt’s nearly identical brother in identical tights. Kurt comes in and rolls Taker up with a handful of tights for the pin to retain. That’s the first time in seven years that the title hasn’t changed hands at this PPV.

Rating: C+. That’s actually a brilliant ending and it keeps both guys looking strong at the same time. They used the same thing with Lesnar vs. Angle in 2003 and it still worked there too. As for the match, most of the praise for it should go to Kurt and most of the blame should go to Taker. Angle could wrestle the match of his life, but if Undertaker won’t sell the knee injury, it doesn’t make a bit of difference. That can’t be blamed on Kurt though, and the match wasn’t terrible as it was. These two would have MUCH better matches down the line too.

After some replays, Kurt runs from the arena to a waiting car to bail.

The XFL has cheerleaders!

Team Dudley Boys vs. Team Edge and Christian

Dudley Boys, Hardy Boys vs. Edge and Christian, Bull Buchanan, Goodfather

Buchanan and Goodfather are the RTC and they’re actually tag champions here instead of one of the other three teams. Bubba and Bull start things off but the crowd is kind of dead so far. Bubba elbows him down for two and it’s off to D-Von. A big boot puts D-Von down and it’s off to Goodfather for another boot to the head but no cover. Off to Christian who pounds away at D-Von but walks into a reverse inverted DDT. This match isn’t exactly taking off.

Matt comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. The Hardys take off their shirts to reveal camo shirts that match the Dudleys. In the melee, the Edge-O-Matic (actually called that here) pins Matt. D-Von vs. Edge now with the former hitting a swinging neckbreaker for no cover. D-Von takes down both Canadians with a double clothesline but a Buchanan distraction lets Christian hit the Killswitch for the elimination to make it 4-2.

Bubba comes in and throws Christian around a bit before it’s off to Jeff. The fans want tables but they get Jeff sent to the floor and a tag to Buchanan. Back to Bubba who runs over the Bull a few times and beats up Goodfather a bit too. The Canadians get backdropped a few times before Edge accidentally spears Buchanan down, giving Bubba an easy pin. Christian accidentally splashes Edge giving Bubba another easy pin. It’s Jeff/Bubba vs. Christian/Goodfather.

They botch something but Goodfather hooks a Death Valley Driver for the pin on Bubba. Jeff gets to start with Christian but knocks Goodfather off the apron first. Christian misses a charge and hits post. The Swanton eliminates Christian and about twenty seconds later Val Venis (also RTC) clotheslines Goodfather by mistake, giving Jeff the winning pin.

Rating: C-. Much like the rest of the show, this wasn’t bad but it was nothing interesting for the most part. The tag division would get going again soon with TLC 2 which was somehow even better than the first edition. Having Jeff win here is fine but without Matt at this point, the fans didn’t really care. Granted that could be said about the rest of the show too. Again, another acceptable match but nothing I’ll remember in an hour.

Jeff gets beaten up but the Dudleys and Matt make the save and put the RTC through tables.

Austin is walking.

HHH tells the Radicals they know what to do.

We recap Austin vs. HHH. You know the story by this point: Rikishi had a boss and it was revealed to be HHH. HHH explained that he did it because while Austin was gone, HHH rose to the top of the company and even took over everything. Tonight is the big fight between the two of them and it’s No DQ.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

No DQ remember. I miss the My Time song that HHH used to use, but this is a remix of it that isn’t as good. After a little staredown, Austin goes right at HHH and beats him around the ring. The initial beatdown goes on for a few minutes with Austin focusing on the back due to some physical therapy HHH has been having or something like that. HHH comes back with a Facebuster but Austin immediately hits the Thesz Press to take him right back down.

They head to the floor with Austin still in full control. Austin picks up a big piece of metal but HHH knocks it away. They fight over to the production area and then to the back and then back to the arena in a few seconds. Back in the aisle, HHH counters a suplex into one of his own to put Austin in even more trouble. They fight back to ringside and Austin is thrown onto the announce table before fighting back, sending HHH into the steps.

After destroying the timekeeper’s area, Austin slams a monitor into HHH’s head to bust him open. The beer cooler is thrown around, resulting in a huge puddle on the floor. Austin has a seat on the steps and has a beer because he’s thirsty. HHH gets thrown into the ring but Austin stops to yell at JR, allowing the Game to get in some shots. A Stunner is countered into a neckbreaker and both guys are down.

HHH sends Austin into the post and bends him around said post, now working on the back which Austin had surgery on. A brief Austin comeback is stopped dead by another neckbreaker. HHH’s psychology is working well here. Austin comes back with that whip spinebuster but the middle finger elbow misses. They head back outside with both guys getting whipped into the barricade. HHH gets the advantage and loads up a Pedigree on the steps but gets backdropped through the announce table in a cool spot.

They head back inside and HHH bails to the corner. WHY WOULD YOU BACK INTO A CORNER AGAINST STEVE AUSTIN??? He deserves the mudhole stomping he gets. There’s the Stunner but Austin stops before covering. Instead Austin gets a chair and sets to Pillmanize the ankle. He thinks twice of that and wraps the chair around HHH’s neck instead. HHH rolls to the floor and they fight up the aisle again.

This time they head to the production area and then through a curtain and into the back, the same place they went for a few seconds earlier. HHH rams Austin into an anvil case but Austin sends him into a soda machine. Here are the Radicalz to attack Austin and give HHH a breather. After referees pull back the Radicalz, Austin chases HHH into the parking lot where HHH gets into a car. All of a sudden HHH is on a mic which is stupid but you have to go with it. Austin is nowhere to be seen. Oh wait there he is in a forklift, picking HHH and his car up. HHH screams for mercy and is dropped down, destroying the car to end the show.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never got to the point they were reaching for I don’t think. The problem here is the same as it was in 1996 for Austin: everyone remembers the rematch far better because it’s probably better. That being said, this wasn’t nearly as good as the first Austin vs. Hart match but I digress. This wasn’t that great, but it was ok. It’s not PPV main event good, but for a big brawl it was acceptable.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to grade. The problem with this show is that while nothing on it was bad, nothing on it was good either. Nothing on this show is something that I will ever want to watch again because nothing on it is anything above ok. The title I used for the other review of this is that I never remember this show. Well there’s a reason for that: it’s not very good. If you have to see every show in the series you won’t hate it, but there’s no reason to watch this other than for the sake of completeness.

Ratings Comparison

Steve Blackman/Crash Holly/Molly Holly vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

Original: D+

Redo: C-

The Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D-

The Rock vs. Rikishi

Original: B

Redo: C+

Ivory vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Team Dudley Boys vs. Team Edge and Christian

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: C-

That main event is the big surprise as I HATED it the first time but I thought it was pretty good here. Odd indeed.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/24/survivor-series-2000-i-never-remember-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2011
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

This is the first Smackdown after the walk out on Monday so I’m sure we’ll hear about that non-stop. Henry is still world champion so we’re probably looking at Henry vs. Orton III at Vengeance because the Cell is just another match in this feud that probably ends in last man standing or something like that. Anyway we’re in that weird period again where we have to push hard for Vengeance but there is so much from Raw that we need to take care of that first. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video about the walk out and all that jazz. This eats up like four minutes.

Teddy is in his office (and gets a pop) and is on the phone with HHH. He says he won’t let the Game down. Ryder pops up and Teddy says that he (Teddy) is in charge tonight. Ryder wants to know what’s going on with the walk out and Teddy says it’s none of his business but Raw’s loss is Smackdown’s gain so he has work to do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is stupid stories that go totally in the face of continuity or character development like Beth, the monster that eliminated Khali from the Rumble a few years ago saying she was just a girl and could get hurt, for the sake of drama.

Big Show is back tonight.

Here’s Vickie to open the show with the disgruntled heels in the ring behind her. Christian takes credit for the whole uprising and the fans chant for HHH. Ziggler says it was a group effort and they were the leaders of the walk out. Barrett is with them too. Otunga says they’ve walked out on HHH and Raw but will be here on Smackdown. Wait….oh never mind.

Anyway if HHH doesn’t quit Monday, they’re leaving house shows and PPVs as well as Smackdown. Barrett says HHH should do the right thing and resign. Cody says he’s part of a united front and now there is hope for change. However they all couldn’t have done it without one (unnamed) man. Swagger says show some respect for Alberto Del Rio. Ok so it was Del Rio’s plan? Here’s the champ and he says he survived the Cell and is champion despite HHH. They’re never going back to Raw until HHH is gone. He’s here tonight to compete.

Cue Teddy who says if these guys keep talking then it’ll be the audience that walks out. The main event is Cody/Christian vs. Sheamus/Orton. Alberto is up next though and has a match against a hand picked opponent (Alberto’s hand that is) and that would be Sin Cara. I’m assuming they mean the blue one because heel vs. heel doesn’t happen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio starts off hot to start and Cara is beaten down quickly with the Mexican hitting a German on the Mexican. It was so good that we saw it on two different replays. Off to a chinlock which Booker says is spectacular. Cara goes up and hits a rana and a tornado DDT as things speed up a bit. Cole blames Lawler for the walk out which is right in a way. And that doesn’t matter as the cross armbreaker ends this in 3:18.

Rating: D+. Not sure what the point of this was as Cara was treated like a total jobber. Don’t get me wrong: he shouldn’t have had a chance in there and shouldn’t have won or anything like that, but I would have expected more than three minutes and change for a guy that had a featured PPV match five days ago. Del Rio looks dominant though and that’s what this was for.

Post match Sin Cara Black comes out to beat up Blue. He works on the arm a lot and hits a Swanton to leave Cara laying.

Cole says he walked out because HHH wasn’t listening to anyone but himself. Booker says he’s neutral and had to go to the bathroom. Little too much information there Book.

Air Boom says it’s probably not HHH’s fault but until HHH steps down, Air Boom won’t be on Raw but they’ll be on the blue show every week. Kofi says it’s due to chaos, but it hasn’t been chaotic at all, at least not more than normal.

Air Boom vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Air Boom has new music. I guess we’re doing the whole “challengers get beaten time after time but keep getting shots and matches until they win once and can declare themselves better based off that one match” thing. They jump the champs during their entrance and take over early. It’s a big beating in the aisle but I think we’re still going to start the match in a few minutes here.

Bourne takes a Zig Zag on the floor and we take a break. Back and we actually have a bell to start. Bourne is out cold so it’s 2-1 with Kofi starting against Swagger. Evan is sitting up now. Kofi avoids a splash and it’s off to Jack again. Ok make that Dolph. Team Vickie is beating Kofi up pretty well here. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Kofi is still in his t-shirt. Bourne pops up onto the apron and tags himself in but his neck is messed up. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this at 3:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here although it was short. The idea here is simple: the heels cheated to win. Why do you need anything more than that at times? The neckbreaker was smart as it played to the injury rather than going with some generic move that doesn’t play to the established injury. Why do so many guys have issues figuring that out? This was fine.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Glam Slam, pin, 35 seconds.

Post match Nattie puts Alicia in the leg hold and Alicia screams as Beth wants tears. This is kind of disturbing. But can she do that to a chick who is known for spanks and Stinkfaces and has a song about hollering in a club? Apparently not on her own.

Video 9583 on Henry, this one featuring Big Show.

Big Show makes his return and certainly hasn’t lost any weight. He talks about how good it is to be back and praises the fans a bit. We get a clip from MITB which was 4 months ago in WWE time (the show was July 17). Show talks about how he was humbled by Henry which is an image I didn’t need. He’s starting to cry. Henry reached into his chest and tore out his heart. Show couldn’t do little things anymore like putting on his shoes or going upstairs or playing with his dogs. Dude you broke your ankle. You didn’t lose your legs.

The fans chant for him and we actually see them chant. The pain is what fueled the fire in his stomach. He used it to get better and stronger. Henry is going to get the pain and hurt back ten times over. Show says Henry is on a roll, but it’s downhill. At the bottom of that hill is Big Show and all the pain and anger is being loaded up in his fist. He’s going to put that fist onto the side of Henry’s head until Show takes the thing that Henry defines himself by: the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll settle for nothing less than a one on one match and he wants it RIGHT NOW.

Here’s Henry who says that things have changed since Show was here. The Hall of Pain is getting crowded and now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. Henry wants to know who Show has beaten recently to earn a shot. They keep saying four months. Can no one in this company ready a calendar or count to three? Henry says he’ll let Show know about when and if Show gets a title shot. Show says Henry has until the end of the night or he’ll break Henry’s ankle and put him through the table. I liked Show here as he kept things simple.

Orton says he doesn’t want to beg for one more match and if he has to go through the entire roster, he’ll do it. As for the walk out, if he had a problem with HHH he’d go take care of it in person. He doesn’t play well with others so Sheamus will have to see how things go tonight in the main event. This was said with a non-evil smile.

Brodus Clay is still coming. As long as he doesn’t run into Johnny Curtis he’ll be fine.

Mahal runs his mouth a bit and is cut off by Big Zeke’s music. He only talked about 4 seconds so it wasn’t anything to see.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Jinder Mahal

He talks some more and gets shushed and then punched. Jackson overpowers him to start and then runs through him with the slams. Mahal escapes the Rack and fires off with a jumping knee. Jackson shrugs it off and slams him even more before the Rack ends this at 2:06. Just a squash. Did Mahal walk in on Vince practicing Stand Back or something?

Post match Jackson says shhh again.

Johnny Ace comes in to see Teddy and says we’re in uncharted waters. They’re both company men and since HHH isn’t here tonight, Ace is supporting Teddy. If Teddy loses control of Smackdown, the WWE Universe will lose faith and then……well that’s all he says.

Here’s Hornswoggle. He and Booker go into the ring and do Spinaroonis. They get cut off by Christian and it’s already main event time? Wow there’s a ton of time left too.

Christian/Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

They have over 20 minutes for this. Sheamus vs. Christian gets us going but it’s off to Cody very quickly. Cody gets pounded down and we get the forearm smashes in the ropes. The Canadian distracts the Irishman so that the American can hit a Russian for two. The mask Cody wears costs $20,000 according to Cole. Methinks Cody got ripped off. Hot tag to Orton who cleans hour and beats up Christian. Something sounds right about that. Booker: “These guys know each other like a good book and right now Orton is reading him like never before.” Cole: “WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???”

Elevated DDT hits but some Cody distraction lets Christian take over as we go to a break. Back with the heels working over Orton and it’s off to Cody. Oh I forgot we still have Henry’s reply to Big Show so they won’t use the full time. Orton avoids a spear and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. Flying battering ram misses and the Irish Curse is now a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Why do they keep changing the names of moves? Cody escapes the Brogue Kick but an RKO out of nowhere by the illegal man pins him at 6:25 shown of 9:55.

Rating: C. I really wasn’t impressed here but the match was ok. Sheamus keeps looking good and I’m glad he and Orton seem to be sharing the top spot on the show. Good enough for a main event but the shortness of it really hurt things here. This getting more time would have helped it as there wasn’t enough time to build drama or anything like that.

Remember the video about the walk out earlier? Here it is again.

There will be a Raw Monday but we’re not sure who will be there.

Here’s Marky Mark for his reply to Big Show. He talks about how he’s infallible just like Big Show but Show gets no title match. Show comes out and beats down Henry. He beats the champ down and shoves security out of the way. A spear puts Henry down and security gets beaten down again. Henry leaves and holds up the title but for once, someone goes after him while he’s standing there and the fight starts up again.

Henry throws him around (that’s still scary) and sets for the Slam through the table. Show fights back and gets a good chokeslam to put Mark through it. He wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle and (after tossing a huge chair aside with one hand) he pulls the steps over and looks to Pillmanize it but Teddy calls him off, saying Show gets the world title match as long as he doesn’t jump onto the ankle. Show steps down and walks away but then goes back and cracks Henry over the back with the chair. Henry looks mostly dead to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a pretty weak show overall, especially by Smackdown’s normal standards. We have our main event and I really like that it isn’t Orton again. He looks like he’s shifting over to Rhodes which would be a nice breather outside of the main event for him. As far as Henry vs. Show goes, that could be interesting and decent if they keep it short. No more than like 8-9 minutes and it could be watchable, which is the case for most monster battles. Watchable show here, but not great by any means.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler b. Air Boom – Gutwrench powerbomb to Bourne
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Ezekiel Jackson b. Jinder Mahal – Torture Rack
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Christian/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes

 

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Rebellion 1999
Date: October 2, 1999
Location: National Indoor Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 11,939
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Hayes

We’re back in England again and it’s six days after Unforgiven, so of course the angles are just about the same. These were just glorified house shows with the occasional token title changes. The main event here is Rock vs. HHH in a cage match for the title. That at least sounds interesting. Other than that there isn’t much here. Again, more or less just trying to get done with the 90s but someone requested European shows so it’s two birds with one stone. Let’s get to it.

The theme song is pretty awesome here so I can’t complain there. The arena looks good too so this at least looks and feels like a major show. Also, how often do European fans see something like this? That makes this far more awesome. What is UP with that commentary team though? That was rather odd.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

This is champion vs. champion here as Jarrett is IC Champion and Brown is European Champion. They actually flip a coin to decide which is on the line. Jarrett has a vacuum with him to further the whole anti-women thing. Miss Kitty looks great in a little red dress mind you. He offers 1,000 pounds to any woman that will….do something that he doesn’t actually say.

He does get some nice jabs at the women, including Halloween is at the end of October and not the beginning. The woman he picks is decent looking if nothing else. Ah ok he wants her to vacuum some oatmeal up. We’ll ignore that the vacuum isn’t plugged in that I can tell.

And the decent looking girl is put in the Figure Four. Chyna comes out for the save, and you would think that this should be the match but the coin toss happens and here’s D’Lo to a BIG pop. Dude this guy was legit over back in the day. Ah he’s European Champion and doing the I live in other cities every other week thing. He’s playing to the crowd at least. Jarrett can’t run away. I wish he would in TNA today.

It would get rid of this non-existent “war”. I can’t fathom how over Brown is. I’m rather impressed. He busts out a British Bulldog style suplex to further play to the crowd. See how simple it can be to get the fans behind you? The Sky High connects but both guys are down. Jarrett is good in the ring which is overlooked too often.

The Figure Four doesn’t work and Jarrett can’t figure him out, so he hits him with the vacuum for the pin. That’s the Attitude Era for you I guess. Good night Kitty looks good. Sorry she just popped up on screen. Jarrett challenges Chyna for later in the night.

Rating: B-. I liked it a lot actually. Brown had the crowd into this so that’s the key thing to keep in mind. Also they had me believing that the title could have changed hands. What more can you ask for an opener here? Brown was good at getting the crowd into things which is more important than almost anything, so good choice for the opener.

Godfather vs. Gangrel

No reason at all for this other than to have hot women come out and dance. Yeah they’re just in bikinis here. The women are ok looking at least. After Godfather’s usual stuff, we get Gangrel’s always sweet music.

Something tells me I know who is winning here. Hayes having to make the names Ho Train and Pimp Drop sound intimidating is rather amusing. If nothing else he’s filling in for Lawler as the dirty old man perfectly. Chyna will answer the challenge at the end of this match. Hmm I wonder what she’ll say. The Train and the Drop end this relatively easy.

Rating: D. This was so boring. It could have gone on any house show match and therefore I was rather bored with it. I mean there was nothing going on here and it was just to get “hot” women on screen. Yeah nothing special at all here to put it mildly.

Chyna accepts the challenge and says Jarrett has Va-Chyna Envy. Wow that was BAD. British Bulldog yells at her and gets booed. Bulldog wants a title match.

Val Venis vs. Mark Henry

Why? Why in the world is THIS on PPV? I have a feeling the intro could outlast the match. Make your own Venis lasting long jokes. His thing is about rugby so Becca loves it. Sweet goodness there were a lot of sex based characters back in the 90s. How horny were wrestling fans?

Venis’ character wasn’t one that could last very long. Can you imagine someone trying to make that work today? It would flop big time. Wow this isn’t interesting at all. It’s your run of the mill power vs. speed (I guess) match with Val just beating the tar out of the beached whale known as Henry before the Money Shot ends it in like 4 minutes.

Rating: D. This was also incredibly boring. We’re seeing the problem with these shows: the matches hardly ever make any sense and there’s nothing to them, so why should I want to see them? To be fair though, we weren’t the audience for them. This was just filler.

Smith is looking for Vince. Smith finds Vince. He demands a title shot and is turned down of course. He throws a stool and it hits Stephanie. Ok then. Now in case you didn’t notice, he’s a HEEL. I just want to make it clear that he is a HEEL.

Women’s Title: Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna Vachon vs. Ivory

Tori is the former lesbian stalker that is now just sexy. Jackie is just so irritating and no one cares about her. Ross is freaking over the Bulldog thing to further emphasize that he is a HEEL. Luna is a face. That’s just odd. Wow this division is dying to have Trish and Lita show up, if nothing else for their looks. No tagging here. Please make it quick. Various people do various teams and no one cares.

The division was a bigger joke than it is today if you can believe that. Crowd is more or less dead here but not quite. The ECW Triple Sleeper is added to as it’s a quadruple sleeper. This is just a series of really stupid looking spots in a row. And Ivory hits Jackie with a belt and wins it. Wow I really could not have cared less there. Ross says he didn’t care because of Stephanie. Nice cover up there Jimbo.

Rating: F. These matches had a tendency to be awful. Awful sounds like a nice thing here as this was just annoying to have to sit through. Terrible match to say the least.

We re-air the Bulldog segment from 5 minutes ago that was stupid then and is stupid now. Stephanie is taken away on a stretcher. Bulldog isn’t upset about it at all.

Chris Jericho vs. Road Dogg

This was Jericho’s first feud and Road Dogg is WAY over. He’s a tag champion here if that means anything. Oh and Jericho went off on his back so it’s hurt. Dang it’s weird to think what Jericho would become after what he started as here. Curtis Hughes is still his bodyguard that no one cares about. It also amuses me that Jericho went through some big change in philosophy or whatever and never changed his music.

We’re in the crowd as this is already the most interesting match of the night. Good night they are shoving this Stephanie thing down our freaking throats. When Vince decided people were going to care about his family, he made sure they did. We’re in the ring now. Road Dogg is underrated in the ring too methinks. I always liked his in ring stuff more than Gunn actually which is a rare opinion as far as I can tell.

They’re using a lot of hot shots here which is odd. The crowd likes Jericho a bit I think, which is the problem with him. He’s hard not to like or at least be impressed by. SHUT UP ABOUT FREAKING STEPHANIE!!! I do not care a bit about her or her freaking head injury. SHUT UP ALREADY!

Oh the referee strike ended too. Yeah I don’t care either. This is by far and away the best/most interesting match so far. Could it have anything to do with these two being in a feud? We talk about the match for a bit but screw that. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT STEPHANIE!!! This is hitting WCW levels of annoying commentators. Jericho can’t get the Walls. He can’t get the Lionsault either.

And there goes the referee. Can we get a clean finish in a match that means something tonight? Is that too much to ask for? A chair shot that might cause paralysis only gets two for Jericho. And of course he’s fine a minute later. A low blow ends it in WEAK fashion.

Rating: B. The ending sucked the life out of it. Give this an ending and it’s WAY better. There was drama here for once which was something totally absent from the rest of the matches. Best match of the night BY FAR.

Fans wait to meet Show and Rock at a record store. Cool.

We have NO UPDATE on Stephanie.

Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is non-title mind you. If nothing else we get the red dress again. Jarrett is actually hitting her now so it’s an upgrade if nothing else. Pedigree attempt early on doesn’t work and we get an old school catapult. She really was impressive back in the day. And here’s British Bulldog beating up Chyna after about 2 minutes for the CHEAP DQ. I hate this show already. Jarrett gets the Figure Four afterwards. Naturally this is turned into something about Stephanie and her injury.

Rating: N/A. Yes it’s official: we’re watching a house show. This has been nothing but cheap heat and weak finishes. It’s been incredibly boring and nothing has actually happened.

We get to see Rock and Show meet fans. Allegedly there were 10,000 fans there. Cool if true.

Kane vs. Big Show

It’s no DQ here as House Show: England continues. Show jumps over the top rope. That’s impressive. Even Kane’s pyro is weak here. Kane is 182 pounds lighter than Show. That’s SCARY. This is one of the biggest rivalries ever. Think about it: they’ve feuded for like 10 years now. Show would be getting the world title in a month and a half in case you were wondering.

Naturally it’s the battle of the big men here and Big Show hits a dropkick but Kane lands on his feet. I like these matches so there. It’s face vs. face here so there you are. Hey! We have Kane vs. Big Show here in a battle of monsters that looks awesome. LET’S TALK ABOUT STEPHANIE!!! NOW LET’S DO IT AGAIN! Seriously, this is just idiotic at this point. This is formula based stuff but that’s the best thing to do here.

Show drops an audible F Bomb and puts on a Boston Crab all of 6 inches from the ropes. Show lets go of the hold even though as Hayes points out he wouldn’t have to break in a No DQ match. Kane busts out an enziguri. That’s cool if nothing else. Kane hits the top rope clothesline and of course the chokeslam doesn’t hit after it. Even a chair looks small in Show’s hand. Kane kicks it into his face and slams Show for the pin.

Rating: C+. These are usually hard to mess up and this one worked pretty well I thought. The key to these matches is you really don’t have to do all that much and it still looks cool because of their size. These two have good chemistry together so this was as fine as you would expect.

HHH doesn’t care about Bulldog, Jarrett or Chyna. Good to know. Rock is going to get his head kicked in apparently. The big feud would be in 2000. HHH wasn’t that good on the mic yet. Actually he was flat out bad. He’s getting betting though.

X-Pac vs. British Bulldog

Pac gets a POP and a half. Bulldog gets more or less no reaction. As Ross once said, how many ways can you repackage him? Also the lack of anything British isn’t helping him much. No one bought him as a legit title contender at this point as he was just subbing for the injured Taker. And cue up the Stephanie talk. Seriously, Smith is just a guy in jeans and boots. Why should I buy him as a legit threat to the title?

Take a wild guess as to who is going to win here. We still have no updates on Stephanie. More updates on our lack of updates in the next 8 seconds. There’s the suplex from Bulldog. It’s not quite Summerslam 92 but that’s still cool looking. They talk about how weird Bulldog is. He’d be gone in like a month or so.

Well not gone but out of the main event and jobbing. Stephanie will be in the hospital overnight. No update on what’s wrong with her or anything but at least it’s over for the next 20 seconds or so. Bronco Buster hits and I still hate it. There’s your powerslam and as bad as it looked, it ends the match.

Rating: D. This was pointless. Seriously, all night we hear about Bulldog and the title and no one cared about this at all. At least we’re a match closer to this being over. Just an awful show so far.

Crash weighs himself and makes jokes about British English.

Edge/Christian vs. Holly Cousins vs. Acolytes

Elimination rules here. Yeah I don’t care either. Edge and Christian are the number one contenders here but this is a number one contenders match. Sure why not. Ross tries to validate the logic here and of course it makes no sense but whatever. GOOD NIGHT I DO NOT FREAKING CARE ABOUT STEPHANIE!

The Hollies are the superheavyweights at the moment which was a gimmick I always liked to an extent. And they’re already fighting. Edge and Hardcore start us off. With everyone else on the floor, Crash escapes a powerbomb and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin and we’re down to the Acolytes and Edge and Christian.

You can hear a lot of called spots tonight. I wonder if that’s a British thing. Guess what we’re talking about now? Just take a guess. When Vince decides to make it about his family, stay clear of him if you care about your life. I love that Farrooq spinebuster.

And the rest is nothing but run of the mill stuff. Christian stays in the ring forever and gets beaten up, hot tag to Edge, Clothesline From JBL, Christian saves, tornado DDT and it’s over. Seriously, that’s it and it took nearly 5 minutes to do that.

Rating: D+. Seriously, I could not care less at this point. This show hasn’t been bad per se. It’s just been so boring and I couldn’t care less if my life depended on it. No one is interested, likely due to jet lag or something like that, the matches mean nothing, and no one is going to talk about this show later on. Why should they put in much effort?

Do you need an explanation of Rock vs. HHH? If you do, why are you reading this? Rock got a title match on Raw and Bulldog cost him the title. Bulldog got one on Smackdown and Rock refereed, costing Bulldog the title. Yep, Bulldog is going to interfere in the cage match isn’t he? Why yes I believe he is.

Stephanie is talked about even more. Let’s look at it again because we haven’t heard about it enough right? Well that and we’re an hour and 45 minutes into the show and we’re at the main event. Yeah this is less than two and a half hours long in total. There’s another reason it sucks.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH

Remember it’s a cage match. Rock gets a very big pop. Wow Michael Hayes has been driving me crazy all day. He’s just freaking annoying. Rock says a little something and for the first time tonight the crowd is WAY into it. He talks about Willy Wonka for no apparent reason. Even Rock is off today. An Oompa Loompa is going up HHH apparently. It’s very clear that they’re just stalling for time now.

Ross says that translates on any continent. Yeah because he’s speaking English in an English speaking country he needs a translator. Right Ross. Rock goes after an anti-Rock fan. All in good fun though and if nothing else at least he acknowledges it. That’s a good sign. Good night they’re stalling here. It’s understandable but it’s also annoying. Finally we get it going.

Ok just got something that cleared a lot up: Raw aired on Fridays on Sky in England as they keep talking about last night on Raw. That’s much better now. I think you can only win by escape here. This is your run of the mill pretty good cage match so far. Ross keeps calling the Samoan Drop the Samoan Slam. This just isn’t much at all. It’s ok but you’re just waiting for Bulldog to come in and screw Rock because you know it’s coming.

We do get some solid drama with Rock almost getting out though. Rock Bottom hits and of course both guys are down. Is there a reason we keep going to a wide shot like that? Pedigree hits and both guys are down again. Rock gets out but the referee is knocked down. Of course he is. And we’re in the crowd now. Well at least it’s interesting for the live crowd. That’s not fair actually as this has been a decent match.

Rock gets on the mic and yells at HHH. You know, because he couldn’t use the mic to yell at the referee and point out that he’s out right? HHH is busted open as Rock does some commentary. Rock gets a nice little elbow smash through HHH after jumping from the cage but the table didn’t break. This show needs to end badly. And we go back in the cage because that makes sense.

Why not throw HHH back in and STAY OUTSIDE UNTIL THE REFEREE WAKES UP??? See what I mean about this show making no sense? And there’s Smith to screw the Rock over. Shane comes out and beats up Bulldog which went nowhere. Patterson and Brisco come out to get beaten up. And now he’s beating everyone up. Seriously, the BRITISH BULLDOG is being made to look dominant.

Ah Rock took him down. Much better. Chyna comes out and slams the door on Rock and the overbooking here is idiotic. Yep HHH wins it. Oh and the running powerslam is just a falling slam now. Vince comes out and chains Bulldog and Rock inside. Sure put Rock in there with Bulldog when Rock is spent. That makes PERFECT sense. He comes back and the People’s Elbow gets a very nice pop to end the show.

Rating: B-. This was much better until the way overbooked and idiotic ending. Rock looked like a moron here and it bit him for it. The match itself was pretty good though all things considered. This went ok though and given all the issues it had, the match came off as well as it could have I think.

Overall Rating: F+. The wrestling isn’t terrible, but I cannot remember a show that I cared less about for the life of me. I mean there are TWO decent matches on the whole card. And when I say decent, I mean would be watchable on another show. They’re not good. All night long the important matches had screwjob endings and the bad matches had clean ones.

You could tell there was zero thought or effort put into this and it came off very badly. The Stephanie thing was just idiotic. I mean she was on camera 30 seconds combined and they talked about her more than they did about the Title match. That’s just idiotic all around. This was a house show that you could watch on PPV. Just a horrible show and not worth seeing any of.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 5, 1999
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,666
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s, shall we say, interesting choice for a post Wrestlemania show, we continue down the road into Vince Russo’s psychosis, meaning things could get very interesting in a hurry. The main story seems to be Big Show aiding Austin in the battle against Vince and the Corporation. Other than that, Undertaker is starting to act more and more Santaly. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Vince and Stephanie being terrified about what Undertaker has become, along with a recap of last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

This is due to Kane answering an opening challenge last night and Pac coming down to help him, only to nearly get chokeslammed for his efforts. Pac and Owen get things going fast until Pac takes him down with a spinwheel kick. Off to Jarrett who takes a flipping clothesline but makes a blind tag to Owen for a spin kick of his own. A hard whip into the corner takes Pac down and a suplex gets two.

X-Pac rolls through a cross body out of the corner for two as we’re told Shane McMahon will be refereeing the Backlash main event. Jarrett grabs a sleeper but gets suplexed down to give Pac a breather. Owen comes in but misses a middle rope elbow and gets clotheslined down, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. House is cleaned and Kane slams X-Pac onto Jarrett for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. Yeah Russo LOVED his wacky tag team partners. Nothing much to see here but getting the titles off of Hart and Jarrett was the right idea. They’re both good but man alive were they an uninteresting team. The only thing they had was Debra and she would be able to get over with or without anyone. It wasn’t terrible but you can see the division dying.

The McMahons are in the back and Vince says he’s staying with Stephanie all night long. Shane tells the Corporation that their mission tonight is to take care of Big Show and Austin.

X-Pac celebrates and doesn’t know where Kane is. He doesn’t care though as long as Kane is there when he needs to be.

Here’s the Corporation with something to say. Rock still has the Smoking Skull belt. Shane shows us a clip from the end of last week’s show, including Big Show saving Austin from the Corporation. Tonight it’s Big Show vs. Rock/HHH in a very special handicap match. HHH talks some generic trash while Rock makes fun of Big Show and threatens to break off both his feet inside Big Show. Rock puts on the Smoking Skull belt with Shane insisting we get a closeup of the title. During the night, Shane is going to put that picture on the screen at his whim because Shane McMahon says so.

Post break Shane explains what he did to Vince because Vince and Stephanie aren’t watching the show. So why are they even here tonight other than for plot advancements? Vince recommends that Shane chill.

Here’s Ivory with something to say. She wants to know if it’s always that time of the month for PMS because they’re always cramping her style. Ivory knows that Jackie can back up her words but what about Terri? How about she comes out here right now and prove how tough she is. PMS comes out but Jackie lets Terri do this on her own. Ivory rips Terri’s shirt off to reveal the puppies, but the lights go out as the Ministry is here.

Taker says he knows McMahon is watching with his daughter by his side, so wrap your arms around her and give her Taker’s regards. Tonight, there will be a sacrifice in the form of a beautiful young woman who will be taken from her family and break her dad’s heart.

Vince is in the back with cops but demands that Patterson go find more security. He thinks he might have to give Taker what he wants which Shane doesn’t like.

Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title meaning it’s under regular rules. They pound each other in the back of the head to start as the lack of weapons makes this sound a bit uninteresting to put it mildly. Out to the floor Snow isn’t allowed to use a chair and Holly takes over, only to be told he can’t use the chair either. Back in and Holly hits a dropkick but stops to pose instead of covering.

A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Al but Holly misses a charge into the corner. Snow pops up to the top for a high cross body for two of his own. The Snow Plow doesn’t work and Holly takes him down with a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as the second Snow Plow is good for the pin on Hardcore.

Rating: D. Here’s a good example of what happens when you have gimmick characters: when you take away the gimmick, there’s no reason to care about either guy. Holly was just a regular guy here and Snow didn’t get to do any of the insane stuff that he used to get over. Nothing to see here at all.

Steve Williams and Jim Ross run in to beat down Snow and Holly.

Shane puts the Smoking Skull belt on the screen.

Undertaker has the Ministry hold Christian for a flogging due to him telling Shamrock where Stephanie was last week.

New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Gangrel

Billy takes Gangrel down with an ugly dropkick to start before cranking on the arm and bringing in the Dogg. Roadie shrugs off some attempts at cheating and gets two off the shaky knee on Edge. The Brood cheats again and Gangrel gets two off a DDT. There’s a double hiptoss to Dogg and Edge gives Billy some pelvic thrusts.

We hit the chinlock from Edge and a knee to the ribs puts Dogg down again. A nice looking double suplex gets two on Dogg but he rolls away from a flying Edge out of a Rocket Launcher. The hot tag brings in Billy as everything breaks down. Christian hobbles down to the ring and gets sent into the ring for a Fameasser, giving Billy the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another mess with the ending being Russo 104. I’m not sure when Edge and Christian will finally dump Gangrel and team up to become legends but it needs to happen soon. Gangrel is just there and it’s pretty annoying to see him take up a spot from a more talented guy. The Outlaws are still way over though so a rub won’t hurt the Brood at all.

Austin threatens to cost the McMahons a lot of money if they keep showing the Smoking Skull belt on the Titantron.

Recap of the Stephanie kidnapping from last week.

Ken Shamrock vs. Viscera

Ken goes right at Viscera and is promptly thrown to the ground. A cross body goes about as well with Viscera falling on top for two. Shamrock comes back with kicks and an impressive belly to belly suplex but there go the lights and here comes the Ministry for the no contest.

Shamrock is captured and beaten down with right hands and a Bradshaw powerbomb. Undertaker and Paul Bearer are watching from the aisle like true evil masterminds should. Shamrock is dragged away through the crowd.

Shane won’t let the Corporation go after Shamrock because it could be a trap.

Shamrock is thrown into a trunk and driven away.

Val Venis vs. Mankind

Amazingly enough these two would fight on PPV. Mankind does a creepy imitation of Val’s hello ladies by saying hello Long Island while bragging about being on the cover of Newsday. The fans are entirely behind the hometown man(kind) as he runs over Venis with a forearm to the head. Venis bails to the floor but has to run away before Foley can drop the elbow. Venis comes back with right hands in the corner but Foley comes back with a spinebuster.

Jerry and Cole are talking about some conspiracy about ESPN and ABC lying about the WWF in some story for the sake of pushing Monday Night Football. Mankind misses a charge and lands on the floor for a baseball slide from Val. The Money Shot is broken up and there’s the Claw, only to have Venis fall off the top and out to the floor. Back in and the double arm DDT sets up Socko for the win.

Rating: C-. This is the ultra rare clean finish in the Attitude Era with Foley getting the relatively easy win over someone that had no business beating him. Oddly enough, that’s something you don’t seen enough in today’s rigidly structured WWE. The match was nothing special but the fans were going nuts for Foley to make it better.

The lights flicker in Vince’s office.

The Ministry has a huddle in the middle of the hallway.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Goldust

Goldie is defending. Godfather offers him the girls but Goldust is too freaky so Godfather opts to just beat him up instead. The champion comes back with a shoulder block before bailing to be near the girls. Back in and Godfather gets two off some elbow drops before hitting the Ho Train, only to be tripped up by the Blue Meanie. Goldust and Godfather brawl to a lame double countout to the collective disinterest of the audience.

Vince’s lights flicker again before going out. A lot of shouting is heard and Stephanie screams.

Here’s the Ministry dragging someone under a blanket and tying them to Undertaker’s symbol. We cut to the back to see Stephanie with Vince and the sacrifice is……..Ryan Shamrock. Undertaker promises to make Stephanie one of them due to the wishes of the higher power. Vince shouts into the camera for Undertaker to stay away from Stephanie.

HHH/The Rock vs. Big Show

HHH comes out to the DX music because that’s the kind of jerk he is. Rock again gets annoyed when the fans keep singing long with his catchphrases, including when he telling them this is NOT sing-a-long with the Rock. There are tags required here so it’s HHH being headbutted into the next county to start.

A big backdrop puts HHH down so it’s off to Rock who gets a headbutt of his own. Back to the Game who walks into a backbreaker but gets up a boot to the face in the corner. HHH tries to pound away but gets slammed down with ease. Rock comes back in with right hands but gets caught by the throat, drawing in Chyna for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just there for the Big Show to treat Rock and HHH like a moderate size Japanese city. As usual, the match here was little more than a backdrop to set up the post match stuff but to be fair, you can’t put Show over here so let Big Show look good before getting beaten down.

Post match Show is beaten down and hit with the People’s Elbow, drawing out Austin (thankfully in BLUE jeans this week). Rock still escapes with the Smoking Skull belt. Shane puts the shot of the belt up on the screen again and that’s it for Austin. He and Big Show charge up the ramp but stop before going through the curtain.

Austin instructs Big Show to pull the Titantron down……AND HE DOES IT! Austin sneaks under the tron and slices through the screen. This blew my mind as a kid, even though it’s clearly slight of hand now. Austin destroys the screen with a pole to end the show. Cole calls the screen the crown jewel of the company. Just go with it people.

Overall Rating: C. This was better as the insanity was still there but in smaller doses. There was some actual focus on the in ring action and some build to the PPV as well. For this era, that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Austin getting involved with the rest of the Corporation feud instead of just Rock and Vince is a nice change. We can also head up to the Higher Power stuff too which should be interesting when you know what’s coming.

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 13, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,046
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

 

This is the post 9/11 Smackdown, which was the first major gathering to occur after the September 11^th attacks. Obviously due to that this is another show where the wrestling means nothing at all which is definitely the best thing they could have done. I saw this when it aired and haven’t seen it since. Let’s get to it.

 

Surprisingly enough we get the WWE opening which today would be the montage thing. This is live for once on a Thursday.

 

Loud USA chant to start and then we actually do the theme song. This is pre-Brand Split and in the Alliance period.

 

The roster is out in the aisle with Rock being out front. There’s a very different dynamic here than there is at other tribute shows.

 

Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner with the red, white and blue ropes out like the old days. I guess Vince was really patriotic back in the day or something.

 

Don’t expect a lot of jokes here or incredibly serious grading here as this isn’t a regular show/review.

 

Edge talks about how he wasn’t going to do one of these interviews because he didn’t think the fans cared what Edge or Adam Copeland said about this. This is about entertaining the people tonight though as is their job. There’s definitely a pride here and the mood is far more upbeat.

 

Ricky Santana, an agent, says that he’s mad but he isn’t going to hide in fear.

 

Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Hurricane

 

WWF vs. Alliance here. At least we can look at Lita. Hurricane has some weird almost funk music here and is European Champion. Heyman’s intro of Hurricane always cracked me up. “Able to leap tall cruiserweights in a single bound, more powerful than a local luchador, look, up on the stage, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, IT’S THE HURRICANE!” Hilarious. Matt vs. Hurricane to start us off which was the feud at this point.

 

Matt takes him down early and strikes Hurricane’s pose. The Hardys send the evil ones into each other and Matt gets a rollup for two. Fast paced stuff to start and I can’t keep up with it. Double team on Matt and we get a Lita chant. Hurricane is tagged in and puts the cape on. Cross body hits Matt for two. Matt grabs a Russian Leg Sweep and it’s off to Storm and Jeff.

 

Poetry in Motion to Hurricane but the one to Storm misses. Twist of Fate is blocked by a superkick by Hurricane which gets two. Jeff takes Hurricane down on the floor with a rana. Back inside the Twist and the Swanton take care of Storm to end this. Quick match and too short to rate, but fun for an opener.

 

Terri talks about thinking of this from a mother’s perspective and how so many people lost family members in this.

 

Rock says he can’t comprehend what the families are going through with this. He doesn’t seem sure of what to say which is totally understandable.

 

A local businessman says exactly what you would expect him to say.

 

Rob Van Dam vs. Spike Dudley

 

RVD is Hardcore Champion but this is non title. Molly Holly is with Spike and is very cute. After we hear about the Red Cross accepting donations, Spike goes right at RVD. Paul talks about how these two had wars in ECW. I don’t remember those at all but that’s just me. This is hardcore mind you.

 

Van Dam gets his spinning leg drop across the apron for two. RVD brings in a chair but Spike gets a victory roll for two. In an impressive move, RVD misses a moonsault but catches the chair and dropkicks it into the head of Spike. Paul praises him, which makes me wonder why he never put the ECW Title on him. Five Star ends this with ease in very short time so no rating.

 

Jericho says he’d rather be in New York doing whatever he could to help. We don’t know what’s coming in the next five minutes or ten minutes and tonight maybe we should be a bit kinder or more gentle. It was weird hearing Jericho be this serious but he was rather articulate and well thought out.

 

Stasiak says this will make us stronger. Very short and sweet.

 

Lita says she’s numb to this still and she has a lot of emotions because of this. She isn’t sure what to do and wouldn’t say she was. She says everyone should stop and take a deep breath which is what this show is for. Makes sense.

 

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

 

I’m reviewing this match on two shows at the moment. Kind of ironic I guess for no apparent reason. We do get the old CHRISTIAN! AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN entrance which is always cool. Oh and he has the stupid glasses here which is always a cool perk. Edge is IC Champion and the feud is kind of going on at this point with the brothers (now not brothers).

 

Christian talks for a bit but is cut off by Jericho. Jericho makes fun of the ring entrance including a falsetto version of theme song with a little parody thrown in. For a bit there I forgot the point of this show, which I think is exactly the idea. Jericho comes straight at him and the fight is on. Attempt at the Walls starts almost 15 seconds in but Christian sends him into the post very quickly.

 

A single arm DDT by Christian gets two. I think Christian is in the Alliance here but I’m not sure. There’s an Alliance referee in there so that should sum things up pretty clearly. Jericho gets a shot in and here he comes (TO SAVE THE DAY! SAVE THE DAY!). Enziguri sets up the bulldog but the Lionsault gets knees. And never mind as Christian yells and gets rolled up for the pin. Another fast match that is too short to grade. Decent while it lasted though.

 

Kanyon says he’s proud of New York and his family who are cops in New York for coming together for this.

 

Taz says he’s scared because his family is in New York. He seemed to get cut off here almost.

 

Torrie says nothing of note.

 

Hurricane says this isn’t about being American but about being human. The people that did this are less than human.

 

Bubba Ray Dudley says that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Even though a lot of people were killed, America is stronger.

 

Here’s Rock, who is WCW Champion. That was always weird for some reason. He talks about how this is a special night and he’s here to have a great time, live on his show. He issues an open challenge.

 

Shawn Stasiak vs. The Rock

 

Stasiak is the son of the former WWF Champion, Stan the Man Stasiak. The problem was that there was a lack of talent between the generations. He has Stacy with him so that helps. Part of Stasiak’s gimmick was that he would charge at people and they would just step aside. Rock does just that and Stasiak goes flying. Rock issues the challenge again and once again goes flying.

 

Third time the challenge goes out and one more time Stasiak comes a-charging! Rock holds up and hand and wants to know what is wrong with this guy. Every week this happens and Stasiak either knocks himself unconscious or gets thrown out of the ring. It’s probably embarrassing and it probably hurts. Instead, let’s talk about pie.

 

Stasiak doesn’t like pie. Any longtime WWF fan immediately gets the joke here. Rock asks if he likes strudel but before he can answer Rock asks Stacy if she likes the People’s Strudel. She seems to be intrigued but Shawn interrupts again and wants a WCW Title shot RIGHT NOW. Wait isn’t this match already going on? Either way, handshake, Rock Bottom, pin. Absolutely hilarious segment with Rock being his usual awesome self.

 

Bill Demott says the firefighters and cops are the real role models, not him or the people in this company.

 

Ivory says there are more good people than bad in the world. America is made up of a bunch of different people and we’ll embrace this tragedy.

 

X-Factor vs. APA

 

X-Factor is X-Pac and Albert. Pac has the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. Pac vs. Farrooq to start us off with the tiny guy getting hammered down very quickly. Pac gets some kicks in and here’s Bradshaw, making the tiny guy run. Off to Albert vs. Bradshaw and down goes Albert to a big boot. JR talks about dipping Bradshaw’s fist in barbecue sauce.

 

Vader Bomb by Albert misses and it’s off to Simmons. BIG bicycle kick takes his head down as JR is planning a road trip with Heyman to Oklahoma. Spinebuster takes Pac down and it’s back to Bradshaw vs. Albert. Fallaway Slam sends X-Pac flying. Albert misses a splash and the Clothesline From JBL (complete with a Hook Em Horns sign) ends this with relative ease.

 

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the commentary was hilarious. I have no idea if they were talking in code or if this was just random chatter to fill in time but it cracked me up. JR can be funny when he’s not taking himself far too seriously. The APA was far past their prime here but they could still fight.

 

Angle says he’s not a real hero but rather the people helping in New York.

 

Booker T vs. Big Show

 

Booker is Alliance here and the hometown guy so this is a weird combination. They don’t mention him being from Houston here for semi-obvious reasons. He and Shane have a handicap match vs. Rock at Unforgiven. There was a live even in Lexington for Sunday but it was postponed. I have never heard of that show before and I don’t think I went to the rescheduled one. JR is still talking about barbecue.

 

Show chops away and puts Booker on the floor quickly. All Show to start as Ross and Heyman continue to have a good old time on commentary. Booker gets a superkick but is knocked right back down again. This is Show in the one piece swimsuit that never looked right at all on him. Chokeslam is reversed by knees to the ribs but the sunset flip just doesn’t work at all. Show misses a big boot and a missile dropkick puts Show down for the axe kick for a long two. A second also gets two so a front flip leg drop gets the pin finally. Another short quick match that you really can’t grade as it was so short. This is getting old.

 

Lance Storm says that he isn’t American but he’s a person. Every time he’s not at home he’s going to worry about his family. This is an attack on the world, not America.

 

D-Von says this wakes us up and tells us that this is real. Everything is screwed up right now in other countries so they want to bring us down with them.

 

A retired member of the Navy thanks Vince for doing all this which really was a big deal.

 

Lita vs. Ivory

 

Lita has the pigtails and doesn’t look right in them. She has the flag with her which is cool to see. Ivory is in the Alliance here and looks a lot better in leather than in the RTC stuff. Lita knocks her around with relative ease to start us off. Sunset flip doesn’t work as Ivory grabs the pigtails. We hit the chinlock which lasts for only a second or so. Another chinlock is fought out of and there’s a headscissors to put Ivory down. Twist of Fate and Moonsault gives us another short match that wasn’t very good. Again though, it’s not a typical show.

 

Stacy says she’s 21 so she has no idea what this means for the most part. She sounds like a high school chick here.

 

Austin says he can’t change the world but what he thinks is that whoever did this is a coward. Tonight by going back to work it’s the thing to do. He offers his condolences for those that lost their loved ones and we do have to mourn, but we need to get back to the way things were. That seemed to be the common answer and that makes sense I think.

 

Booker says the people that helped in New York are the real heroes. This is going to make us stronger.

 

And now there’s this part. This is the interview/talk that makes everyone look at the company and the McMahons and say “really?” Stephanie, looking TICKED, talks about how a few years ago people tried to take shots at her family and the company but they only made them stronger. She’s talking about the steroids trial. That’s what’s happening to America today. Yes, Vince McMahon allegedly breaking the law by distributing illegal drugs has just been compared to the September 11^th attacks. And people wonder why this is made fun of so much.

 

Dudley Boys/Test vs. William Regal/Tajiri/Scotty 2 Hotty

 

Tajiri has a title of some sort here. At least I think he does. Maybe he doesn’t and it’s just part of his outfit. D-Von vs. Regal to start us off. Scotty is literally jumping up and down and screaming for a tag. Tajiri comes in instead in an unintentionally funny bit. He kicks the tar out of everyone but Test takes care of that.

 

Bubba hammers on him a bit as Tajiri is the face in peril. That back splash that never hits doesn’t hit here and it’s off to Scotty to face Test. The Worm to Bubba is broken up as is What’s Up, the latter by mist to the face. There’s the Worm to Bubba and then thankfully Test kicks the tar out of Scotty for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just a six man here to fill in time before the end of the show. Test got a big push around this time but they never pulled the trigger on him. He got a bigger one the previous year which was his real chance at being champion which he probably should have been. Match was more or less just there and a way to get the Worm in.

 

Lillian says she isn’t sure about her family and friends who live in New York.

 

Farrooq is mad about it and says the people that did it are cowards.

 

Regal is from a country where terrorism is more common but he can’t explain how he feels here. We have to get on with our lives though, which seems to be happening.

 

Albert talks about being disgusted by what he saw.

 

Rhyno vs. Kurt Angle

 

Was there really any doubt that the American Hero would close the show? Rhyno grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere at all for the most part. Cross body gets two. Angle hammers away but Rhyno gets a shoulder into the corner to take over. Rhyno busts out a freaking airplane spin for two.

 

Off to the chinlock now which doesn’t last long. Rhyno gets the belly to belly but the Gore misses, as does the Olympic Slam. Double clothesline puts both guys down for a bit. Rolling Germans to Rhyno but Angle takes a spinebuster to put them both back down again. Gore hits but THE POWER OF AMERICA prevails and it’s only two. Angle Slam is the counter to an Irish Whip and since it’s AMERICA against Ireland the AMERICAN HERO wins it.

 

Rating: C. Just a match really. Kurt was banged up from an attack on Monday night so that was the idea of the match here. There was no drama or heat on the match and there wasn’t supposed to be. Decent enough for the main event of a shot that wasn’t about wrestling, so I can’t complain here.

 

Overall Rating: A+. This is a show that is worth seeing if you have the chance to find it. The idea was to get people’s minds off of what happened two days before and I think they did that. There were no stories advanced or anything but there weren’t supposed to be any advanced. This left you feeling positive that things were going to be alright again, which is exactly the idea at the end of the day. Good show.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2000
Location: The Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Armageddon and Kurt Angle shocked the world by retaining his title in a six man Hell in a Cell match against four much bigger stars and Rikishi. I’m not quite sure why someone requested this show but it’s from a great time in wrestling so I can’t complain all that much. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the Cell match with that creepy The End Is Here song playing.

Here are Angle, Edge and Christian to open things up. Angle says that Christmas is still on December 25, Elvis is still dead and he’s still the WWF Champion. The three of them have just completed the hardest year in WWF history and now it’s time to celebrate. The Canadians congratulate Kurt for his win and Angle talks about everything he went through last night, including seeing Rikishi fly through the air off the Cell and HHH’s back being injured again.

After all that though, Angle saw his hand go over Rock’s chest to retain the title in a Christmas miracle. He overcame Rikishi, Undertaker, Rock, HHH, Steve Austin and Mick Foley’s interference to retain the WWF Title. But why aren’t the people cheering for him? It’s not fair that he’s treated like this but here’s Rock with an interruption.

Rock has heard Angle bragging in the back and since it’s the holiday season, he wants to give Angle three things tonight: milk, cookies, and the beating of all time. Angle says he’s not giving Rock a title match tonight in Knoxville (“or Memphis, like it really matters.”) but he’ll let Rock get some partners for a six man tag. This brings out the Dudleyz to stand by Rock, setting up one of our main events tonight. Rock makes it a tables match because he can. He and Angle banter a bit more while saying nothing of note until Rock and the Dudleyz head to the ring to send the heels running.

Edge and Christian are worried about the tables match but Angle has a plan.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Hardy Boyz

This is just after Dean’s date with Lita which resulted in Lita looking stunning in some white lingerie and Dean getting beaten up. Dean made Lita tap out last night in an elimination tag. The Hardys rush the ring and we’re ready to go. Saturn is quickly thrown to the floor so Matt and Jeff can double team Dean in the ropes. A Spin Cycle puts Dean down but Saturn comes in with a cheap shot to Matt’s bad shoulder to take over.

Saturn’s Fujiwara Armbar goes nowhere so it’s back to Dean who gets caught in a belly to back suplex. A double tag brings in Jeff and Perry with Jeff going nuts. Everything breaks down and Poetry in Motion crushes Dean before Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind. The Twist and Swanton nail Saturn but Lita and Saturn’s girlfriend Terri get in a fight to distract the referee. Lita is knocked down as Dean sends Jeff into the steps and a ridiculously fast count gives the Radicalz a countout win.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here but it was little more than angle advancement anyway. Dean and Saturn just didn’t fit in the WWF and I think everyone knew it soon after they debuted. Then again if you give Saturn something more than loving a mop, maybe he would have been something more.

Dean kisses the knocked out Lita.

Vince and the Stooges arrive.

Patterson asks Vince if Foley is going to resign as commissioner due to the injuries to Rikishi and HHH. Vince says he’ll make Foley quit if he doesn’t do it voluntarily.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Benoit won the IC Title last night but this is non-title. Chris wins an early slugout but Billy catches him in a gorilla press, only to pretty drop Chris on his face. Eddie Guerrero strolls out to ringside as Benoit is holding his shoulder from the landing. Back up and Chris gets two off an elbow to the jaw. Billy comes back with some basic stuff but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Gunn gets one of his own before knocking out Benoit with the title belt but the distraction from Guerrero prevents the three count. The Fameasser connects but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and that botch on the gorilla press was kind of scary. Also did we really need interference and a belt shot plus a screwjob finish for a three and a half minute match? How Billy Gunn still had a job as a singles guy at this point is beyond me.

Benoit puts Billy in the Crossface for fun.

Foley isn’t sure if he’ll resign tonight but wants to be left alone to run the show.

XFL ad.

Undertaker looks at a highlight video from last night’s Cell match and says he can’t be held responsible for what happened in the Cell. He did what he’s supposed to do: hurt people. Taker doesn’t care what happens to Foley either, but it would be ironic if he lost his career twice due to the same match. Throwing Rikishi off the Cell was better than winning the title though.

Al Snow asks Foley and Lt. Commissioner Debra for a hardcore match against Raven, despite Snow’s broken wrist. Foley grants it and even wishes Al luck.

Kurt Angle/Edge and Christian vs. The Rock/Dudley Boyz

Tables match. Christian and D-Von start with D-Von scoring some armdrags of all things. Off to Bubba for a hard elbow drop before it’s off to Edge who walks into a powerslam and a backdrop. Here’s the Great One for a Samoan Drop for two as both Rock and the referee screw up the rules. Back to D-Von but Christian gets in a knee to the back to take over. Here’s Angle for the first time to pound D-Von into the corner and try a cover of his own. Thankfully the referee doesn’t go for it this time and we keep going.

Back to Christian for a chinlock as Lawler promises a puppy related surprise. Edge’s superplex is broken up but the referee doesn’t see the tag off to Bubba. Angle pulls D-Von back to the corner as the fans want the Rock. They have to settle for more of Edge pounding on Rock until he gets caught on the ropes and pulled down with a neckbreaker. The double tag gives us Angle vs. Rock with the Brahma Bull cleaning house.

A belly to belly suplex and the spinebuster set up the People’s Elbow but Edge makes the save. Rock and Edge fight to the floor as D-Von hits What’s Up on Christian. It’s Table Time but Angle moves the table before D-Von can drop Christian through it. Kurt hits a German on Bubba but it’s Rock moving the table, only to have Bubba’s head smack the edge. Speaking of Edge, a Rock Bottom puts him through the table for the win.

Rating: C. This was decent but a normal six man tag would have done the same thing. They’re setting up Angle vs. Rock down the road but it wouldn’t be for a few more months. The fans popped for the finish which is the most important part and the Dudleys can chase the tag titles for a change.

Christian is put through the table for fun.

Vince complains about Foley sanctioning a tables match the night after the Cell. He’s also looking for some papers to fire Mick.

Austin arrived during the break.

Here’s Chyna with something to say. Chyna talks about how people like the way she dresses but there are some people that don’t like how she was undressed in Playboy. However, the only people that have a problem with her in general is Right to Censor. She wants Ivory out here right now even though she’s not interested in the Women’s Title. Chyna wants her here to beat the morality out of Ivory but gets Richards as well. Ivory says what Chyna has been doing is unacceptable and what she stands for is perverse. Chyna can have a fight if she wants because what she’s doing is wrong. Here’s a referee and we have a match.

Chyna vs. Ivory

Total destruction including a giant swing from Chyna but here’s Val Venis to interfere. There’s no bell but there was maybe thirty seconds before Venis got out there.

Val and Ivory give Chyna a spike piledriver and Chyna is out. The referee waves out a stretcher and we take a break.

Back with Chyna being loaded into an ambulance and Billy Gunn blaming Foley.

APA vs. T&A

This is around the time where T&A injured the APA and called themselves the T&APA. Trish looks GREAT in an APA shirt and the leather skirt. It’s a brawl to start as JR apologizes for the match being a sloppy brawl a few seconds into the match. The APA hits a double shoulder to take Test down but it’s T&A double teaming Farrooq. Bradshaw brings in a chair and we finally get the guys on the apron. A spinebuster puts Test down for no cover as it’s off to Bradshaw and Albert. Bradshaw cleans house as everything breaks down again with the Clothesline ending Albert a few seconds later. This was a mess.

Brisco brings the resignation papers to Vince.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for his traditional Memphis appearance. His puppy surprise is the Memphis Maniax (XFL) cheerleaders. This brings out the RTC to complain with Richards also complaining about rap music. Cue Road Dogg and K-Kwik (R-Truth) and we’ve got a six man.

Right to Censor vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg/Jerry Lawler

It’s a brawl to start with everyone in the ring at once but Lawler take the strap down to pound on Richards. A slam and the middle rope punch are good for the pin in less than a minute. This was fine.

Foley tells Snow he needs to cancel the hardcore match but Snow talks him into keeping the match.

Austin feels the same as always: bad, but at the same time happy because HHH is in traction. He’ll go find some trouble tonight.

Raven vs. Al Snow

This is the ultra rare non-title hardcore match. Raven jumps Snow on the stage and they fight on the big rectangular mini-trons before Raven jumps over to a coil of electrical wires and slides down like a fireman’s pole. They head into the back and Snow is crushed with an anvil case.

Snow sends him into a steel door and a bulldog onto something made of metal gets two. There’s a door open and they’re in a garage area, meaning it’s very cold in a hurry. Raven is rolled into the back door of a truck and then onto the hood of a limo. Low Down shows up to beat up Snow for some reason but Raven hits Snow with a cinder block for the pin.

Rating: D+. The division was pretty much done at this point and there wasn’t much left for them to do. This was the usual hardcore match with the stupid spots but there wasn’t enough comedy to carry it. I’m guessing the cinder block shot will injure Snow to further the Foley firing angle.

Yep, Snow is on a stretcher.

The Hollies are at WWF New York.

The fans don’t want Foley to retire.

Vince yells at Foley as Mick gets into the ambulance with Snow. Foley gets back out.

Video on the Cell last night.

Here’s Vince for the culmination of the show long angle. A lot has changed since Thursday when he demanded a divorce from Linda and some of it has been good. Vince talks about how traumatic this time in his life has been and how billionaires have feelings as well. He isn’t proud of the WWF at the moment, or at least not its commissioner. Vince isn’t proud of a commissioner who forces six men into a Cell or shows no compassion for HHH or Rikishi. None of the fans are proud of Foley either, which is why it’s time for a change.

Vince demands that Foley come out here for his resignation right now. Foley comes out and the Stooges immediately back away. Vince and Mick stare each other down and Vince says he thinks Foley sucks as commissioner, but it’s nothing personal. It’s not fair to ask everyone else to put their bodies through the same torment that Mick did. Also the job has taken its toll on Foley’s health and personal life, so Mick should resign and let it be over. Vince shows us a clip of Foley saying if anyone was hurt in the Cell, he would walk away.

The boss says there’s no way out for Foley and there’s no legal action against him if he resigns right now. Foley takes the pen to sign but the chanting of the fans stops him. Vince gets angrier and angrier but Foley still won’t sign. Foley says he isn’t sure if he should sign or not but here’s William Regal with something to say.

Willy doesn’t like the barbaric path that the WWF is taking and he’s sure everyone in the locker room agrees with him. Cue Austin to a big old pop. Austin calls Regal mealy mouthed and says if he’s got a problem with anyone, he’ll tell them right to their face. The fans want Foley to stick around so Brisco, Patterson and Regal get Stunners and it’s Socko for Vince. Foley tears up the papers to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t very good at all. Yeah there was a show long angle but it makes Foley look like a big liar and the whole show building up to it was wasted on the ending. The wrestling wasn’t all that good either with nothing standing out whatsoever. I know they’re usually spent after the PPV shows but you expect more than this.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 26, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re in a good place in WWE right now with the big story on top and a lot of other good things going on underneath. Tonight needs to be the night that Bryan makes his first stab at the new Corporation after being laid out to end the last three shows. He’s still on fire, but people are only going to cheer a perennial loser for so long. It should also be interesting to see how many people watch this show with Cena not being there. Let’s get to it.

We open with Shield standing at ringside and looking up at the stage. HHH comes out to a face pop and talks about how this is the beginning of a new era. We get a clip from the end of Summerslam with Orton winning the title thanks to the Game. HHH says that was just business before we see a clip of the end of last week’s show. Now that was personal because Bryan insulted Stephanie and the rest of HHH’s family. HHH however is willing to be a bigger man due to the ratings and social media scores being up. In short, business is booming and it’s due to the new face of the WWE: Randy Orton.

Cue Orton to the ring for praise from HHH for bringing new life to the title. HHH has a gift for the new champion: a Cadillac Escalade. Oh I think we all know where this is going. Orton goes to look at the car but here’s Bryan before he gets too far. Bryan says that’s a sweet ride and way nicer than his Honda Fit. It’s well deserved too because Orton worked so hard for the WWE Championship. Bryan thanks all of the fans because he isn’t the biggest or the strongest or the prettiest (“That would be Twinkle Toes Orton”).

They’ve all supported him through everything and he’s grateful, but he also has to thank John Cena for giving him the chance at Summerslam. Lastly Bryan wants to thank HHH for ending the charade and showing his true colors at Summerslam. His view of what was best for business is as narrow minded as Vince McMahon’s. The rebel in the leather jacket is now another corporate suit who thumbs his nose at all the fans. Orton says think about who you’re talking to so Bryan says let’s hear it for the face of the WWE. At Night of Champions, the face is going to be rearranged, just like HHH’s vision for the future of the company.

HHH says that’s a cute fantasy and, I kid you not, sings When You Wish Upon a Star. Unfortunately for Bryan it doesn’t work that way in the real world. In the real world, Orton is an A+ and Bryan is just a B. As for tonight, Bryan can face Seth Rollins. If he beats Seth, then he can face Dean Ambrose. If he beats Dean, he can also face Roman Reigns. I can totally dig Shield as the personal enforcers of the new regime.

We look at the brawl last week between Axel and Punk. They fight for the Intercontinental Title tonight, but the fans get to pick the stipulations. You can pick Heyman as guest referee, Heyman banned from ringside or Punk gets to face Heyman if he wins. There’s no mention of this being a title match, despite it being called that on Smackdown.

Cody Rhodes vs. Fandango

Sandow is on commentary. Fandango tries to take him down to start but gets caught by a running elbow to the face. A front suplex puts Fandango on the apron but he kicks Cody in the face. Cue Fandango’s music with Miz and some girl dancing, allowing Cody to roll up Fandango for the pin at 1:08.

Sandow jumps Cody and Miz comes out for a brawl until Brad Maddox turns into a 60 year old bald black man and makes a tag match.

Damien Sandow/Fandango vs. The Miz/Cody Rhodes

Back with Sandow getting two on Cody before bringing in Fandango for some gyrating shots. Apparently Miz’s dance partner was Rosa Mendes. Back to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow for two. Cody finally gets in a shot and brings in Miz off the hot tag. Miz cleans house as Fandango walks out. Cody trips up Sandow, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Sandow at 2:56.

Matadores vignette. It’s so cheesy it might work.

Josh Matthews asks Christian about the HHH era. Christian says he survived the McMahon-Helmsley Era and is a bit hesitant to answer that question. Randy Orton pops in and says he’s going to beat Orton tonight. Christian says HHH likes to play with hammers and apparently he’s found a new tool.

If you get some App, you can see what Heyman thinks about the stipulations the fans can pick.

Punk wants to get his hands on Heyman and suggests the fans vote for choice #3.

Heyman doesn’t like the idea of there being a vote. If they’re going to show a segment with Heyman complaining, what was the point of the video on the App? Axel says Heyman shouldn’t be worried because Punk can’t outwrestle him. It’s better than perfect.

Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

It’s non-title despite Axel challenging him for a title match on Smackdown and Punk saying “I accept.” The third option of Heyman having to face Punk if Axel loses wins with 81% of the vote. Punk goes right after Axel and grabs a headlock but can’t hit the GTS. Axel bails to the floor so Punk charges up the ramp at Heyman, allowing Curtis to get in a cheap shot. Back in and Punk escapes a chinlock and gets two off the knee in the corner. Axel rolls to the floor before the Macho Elbow can be launched but Punk hits the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Axel hitting a clothesline to the back of the head for two as Heyman is looking more confident. Punk comes back with kicks to the legs and back followed by a middle rope cross body for two. Axel snaps off a slingshot belly to back suplex for two followed by a snap Saito suplex for the same. Punk grabs a neckbreaker and the Macho Elbow gets two. The GTS is countered into a McGillicutter for another two count but the second attempt at the GTS is good for the pin at 10:52.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the ending shouldn’t surprise anyone. It’s not like Axel is allowed to win non-title matches and there was no way he was going to win a match over Punk without shenanigans. Still though, not a terrible match or anything but it was part of a story instead of a match.

Post match Heyman won’t get in the ring until referees and security drag him to the gallows. Heyman blames Brock for the whole thing as Punk throws him inside. Naturally Axel makes the save with a low blow before Heyman gets killed. Heyman pulls out handcuffs to bind Punk’s hands behind his back, allowing Heyman to slap Punk around. He shouts at Punk to fight him so Punk gets up and kicks Axel in the head. Punk kicks Heyman down and gets in some shots to the back but Curtis comes in with a chair for the save.

Now Curtis brings in a kendo stick for Heyman to use. Punk: “MAKE IT COUNT!” Heyman shouts that he fathered Punk and that Punk was everything to him as he beats Punk down with the stick. Axel throws Punk onto the announce table and shouts that Punk deserves this before Heyman pounds away with the stick even more. Heyman shouts that he loved Punk and Punk broke his heart. Heyman is distraught as the fans chant something that sounds like boring. Screw them if that’s what they were chanting because the emotion here was great.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

JoJo from Total Divas is the ring announcer and we have the rest of the cast at ringside. Brie gets in a few shots, only to be quickly caught in a Sharpshooter. Nikki and Eva Marie distract the referee, triggering a big brawl. Brie hits a quick X Factor for the pin at 1:40.

Post match AJ comes out to make fun of Total Divas before calling the girls interchangeable and useless. They’re on reality TV because they aren’t good enough to be actresses or talented enough to be champions. AJ goes on about how the girls from the show are worthless and aren’t even worthy of lacing up her Chuck Taylors and that is reality. If you’ve watched Total Divas, it’s almost impossible to cheer any of the cast members as they’re anywhere between evil, stupid, liars, money hungry or the pond scum of the earth.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Ricardo has an RVD shirt on as the announcers talk about Edward Snowden for some reason. Apparently Del Rio’s thing now is to have Mexican flags in the corners of the ring. RVD kicks him to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Del Rio working on the ribs and getting two off a German suplex. The champion goes to the middle rope but jumps into a kick to the face, setting up Rolling Thunder for two.

The split legged moonsault gets two more and there’s the springboard kick to the chest. Rob gets crotched on top to break up the Five Star, allowing Del Rio to hit the enziguri for two. Ricardo gets on the announce table to cheer, distracting Del Rio long enough to allow Rob to get a quick rollup for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me which is partially due to the time. Also, I can’t stand the idea of having the champion lose a match basically clean to set up another title shot down the line. It doesn’t make anyone look strong and devalues the title even more. Have Van Dam pin ANYONE else and get the title shot, then have Alberto vanquish the latest challenger. It builds up the title and keeps the champion strong, but why would you want to do that?

We see Cena saying he has to have surgery last week and get some shots of his arm after the operation.

Ryback doesn’t like being called a bully so he grabs Josh Matthews by the face and shoves him to the ground. He says he found a way to shut Josh up.

We look at the Punk/Heyman/Axel stuff for the third time tonight.

Heyman, with blood red eyes, says Punk is like a petulant child who has to be beaten over and over until he learns his lesson. Paul says he feels like a man and now his prodigal son will learn to never come up against him.

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Christian grabs a quick rollup for two but gets taken down by a shoulder block. A quick attempt at the Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor followed by the baseball slide. Back in and a reverse DDT puts Orton down, only to have him dropkick Christian off the top. Orton pounds on Christian before draping him over the top rope.

A knee lift puts Christian on the floor before we hit the chinlock for a bit. Christian tries a comeback but gets taken down by a headbutt and it’s back to the chinlock. Christian fights up again and they slug it out with Orton running into an elbow in the corner. In a scary looking spot, Christian goes to the middle rope for a tornado DDT but gets shoved down, bouncing off the apron on the way to the floor.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock before hitting a nice superplex for no cover. Christian grabs a quick small package for two but gets taken down by Orton’s clotheslines. The RKO doesn’t work and Christian gets a quick high cross body for two. Christian’s middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two, only to have Christian counter into a sunset flip for the same.

The Elevated DDT is countered again but Christian can’t hook the Killswitch. A tornado DDT gets two but Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT for two. The RKO doesn’t work and the spear connects for a very close two. The Killswitch is countered and Orton gets in a thumb to the eye, setting up the RKO for the pin at 15:20.

Rating: B-. Good match as usual between these two with things getting much better after the break. Christian is a solid hand to have out there as he can get a good match out of almost anyone. That’s an invaluable thing to have on the roster as Christian doesn’t need a world title to be over, yet the fans are going to cheer for him anyway.

Post match Bryan pops up on screen and says that was an A+ match (B- actually). He says that was such a nice car that HHH gave Orton earlier, but when Orton loses at Night of Champions, will Bryan be the new face of the WWE? Bryan steps to the side to show the word YES spraypainted all over the car. Cole: “Now it’s a YESCalade!”

Back with HHH, Orton and Brad looking at the car. For some reason Brad tells them that the locker room thinks this is hilarious. HHH says that the car and the belt are his personal property. Maddox is told to go to the stage to watch what happens to Bryan tonight. If anyone interferes tonight, they’re fired.

Titus O’Neil vs. Jack Swagger

Colter says if Mrs. Young and Mrs. O’Neil had been responsible, we wouldn’t be looking at an inferior tag team. Swagger takes him into the corner to start and pounds away before taking Titus down with a knee to the ribs. A DDT on the leg keeps Titus down but O’Neil comes back with a bunch of shoulder blocks and a fallaway slam. A chop block sets up the Patriot Lock but Titus quickly kicks him off. Jack’s rollup in the corner with feet on the ropes is broken up by Young, allowing Titus to hit a release spinebuster for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as this feud continues to be completely one sided. The Colter promos are working but they’re being wasted when his guys keep losing every match they have. Then again you can’t have Young or his partner lose because some idiotic group would say they’re punishing him for being gay, because said group will have no idea how wrestling works.

We get a video from WWE.com with the Wyatt Family talking about Sister Abigail, who apparently inspired Bray Wyatt to become what he is today.

We recap the car stuff tonight.

Punk has refused medical attention and comes in to see Brad Maddox. He DEMANDS a match with Paul Heyman but Maddox makes it a handicap elimination match against Heyman and Axel at Night of Champions. If Heyman tries to get out of it, he’s gone. Punk says if Heyman does get out of this, we’ll never see Maddox again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield

Under gauntlet rules with Rollins getting the first crack at Goatman. The roster is on the stage to watch and Big Show has nothing to say about his match last week. Ziggler doesn’t say anything either and Miz stops himself before going too far with the criticism. Bryan fires off kicks to start and hooks a surfboard while also cranking on the neck. More kicks to the chest have Rollins in trouble and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Ambrose and Reigns close in on Bryan, allowing Rollins to drive Bryan into the barricade for control.

Rollins stomps away but Bryan fires off right hands out of the corner. Bryan moonsaults over him to set up the running clothesline and more kicks to the chest. Rollins ducks the big one to the chest and rolls to the apron for a Stunner on the top rope. Bryan ducks the springboard knee and catches Seth in a half crab but he’s too close to the ropes. Rollins rolls to the floor and the FLYING GOAT sends him over the announce table as we take a break.

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before hitting a running forearm in the corner. He slaps Bryan in the face a few times and tells Bryan to stay down while doing the finger point. Seth goes to the other corner but Bryan charges at him with the running dropkick. Bryan comes back with the kicks and sits on a sunset flip for two. They trade some nice near falls but Seth takes his head off with a jumping enziguri.

An inverted Impaler gets two and Seth loads up a superplex, only to get crotched on the top. Bryan busts out a release German superplex with Rollins landing on his face. The running knee to the head (missed by the camera) gets the pin at 12:00. Ambrose immediately runs in to start pounding away but the YES Lock has Dean in trouble, only to have Reigns make the save at 12:30. Reigns’ match starts but Bryan catches him in a YES Lock right off the bat, only to have Ambrose and Rollins come in for the no contest at about 13:00 total.

Rating: B-. We’ll mostly ignore the last two thirds as they weren’t matches at all. That being said, the Rollins vs. Bryan stuff was really good other than the bad camera work. You can’t have Bryan beat Shield on his own of course and thankfully they didn’t have Ambrose tap out. It can be that simple sometimes but most of the time the champion has to lose.

Post match Shield destroys Bryan with the Triple Bomb as HHH comes out to make sure no one helps Daniel. Cue Orton for the RKO to end the show. This would be four straight shows where our final image is Daniel Bryan laid out.

Overall Rating: B+. Questionable ending aside, I really liked tonight’s show as it was all about the top two stories. The stuff filling in the gaps wasn’t bad either and it made for an entertaining episode. Nothing was overly boring on here and it set up some stuff for the future. I wasn’t wild on the way some of the matches ended, but at least we got some of the results we needed. Really strong show this week.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Rollup

The Miz/Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Skull Crushing Finale to Sandow

CM Punk b. Curtis Axel – GTS

Brie Bella b. Natalya – Bella Buster

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Titus O’Neil b. Jack Swagger – Release Spinebuster

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield went to a no contest

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s an interesting time in WWE as we have our first heel super stable in several years and they can do whatever the like because “we own the place.” The two questions at the moment are what will Daniel Bryan do to fight these guys off and who will step up to help him in the war. Odds are we won’t find out until Monday. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from the main events of Summerslam.

Theme song.

Here’s Vickie Guerrero to open us up. She’s cleared the air with HHH and brings out Randy Orton, actually pronouncing the T for a change. Orton talks about being a role model and about how he didn’t lie at all during this whole thing. He said he would be cashing in MITB very soon and that’s exactly what he did. No one should have been surprised when he won the title on Sunday. The only person who should have been surprised was Orton himself, as he didn’t expect HHH to do what he did, even though he didn’t need the help. Orton says he’s the face of the WWE but here’s Bryan to disagree.

Before Bryan addresses the face of the WWE, he wants to say what he was trying to say on Raw: thank you John Cena for giving him the chance at Summerslam and for wrestling with a torn tricep. That one chance let him know what it feels like to be WWE Champion. As for the face of the WWE, it’s already time for that face to change. Bryan doesn’t look like Randy Orton. Orton is tall, chiseled and just pretty.

Bryan sees why HHH likes him so much, but Orton is also arrogant. He’s been handed every opportunity because he’s a third generation wrestler and it’s been his Golden Ticket. Bryan can’t get over how pretty Orton is and asks the fans to cheer for Orton because of it. Randy is so pretty that it makes Daniel want to kick him in the face.

Bryan has had to work his way up through the high school gyms wrestling on infected mats to get where he is today because he isn’t tall and isn’t pretty. However, he can wrestle and beat Orton for the WWE Championship. Bryan is entitled to a rematch and he wants it tonight. Say it along with Orton and I: Wait until the pay per view. They stare at each other and Orton tries an RKO, only to be dropkicked to the floor. Solid segment here with Bryan sounding like a natural rival to Orton and laying out the basic story. Orton saying he didn’t know HHH was going to help him is interesting as well.

Vickie rants about Bryan on the phone and says someone needs to teach him a lesson. Wade Barrett comes in and says he doesn’t like Bryan either, so he’d be willing to take care of him tonight. Vickie says ok and makes it a no holds barred match. No make it extreme rules. Or inside a cage. Wasn’t Vickie supposed to be all mega evil this time or something?

Cody Rhodes vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cody tripping Axel down to the mat. Curtis comes back with a great dropkick but Cody heads to the apron for a springboard dropkick of his own. Curtis rolls outside but moves before Cody can dive on him. Cody’s back is rammed into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Curtis dropping elbows for two before hitting a Hennig necksnap for the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Cody avoids a middle rope fist a few seconds later. The Disaster Kick misses but Cody gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. Heyman’s distraction breaks up the moonsault press and Axel hits his neckbreaker into a faceplant for the pin at 3:55 shown of 6:55.

Rating: D+. So we build Cody up for weeks and then have him lose in less than seven minutes with the title not even on the line. To be fair though, Cody had almost a month of wins under his belt so it was long past time to bring him back to earth. He might jump to TNA or the UFC or Hollywood and we wouldn’t want to make money off of him while we could right?

Post match Heyman wants to talk about CM Punk. He talks about being in emotional pain along with his physical pain because he made Punk the best in the world and then was betrayed. Punk lost to Lesnar at Summerslam and now Punk is in a downward spiral. Under Heyman’s leadership, Axel has notched victory after victory and no one has been able to take the title from him. Axel challenges Punk to an Intercontinental Title match on Raw because he can’t lose with Heyman in his corner.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Big E. Langston

Langston jumps Ziggy before the bell and throws him around the ring with ease. The bell rings and Dolph avoids a charge in the corner, only to be slammed down for two. Langston gets two off a splash and we hit the chinlock. Dolph fights up and sends Big E. into the post before taking him down with a neckbreaker. A dropkick drops Big E. again and Ziggler counters a powerbomb into an X-Factor for two. AJ gets in a cheap shot on Ziggler and Langston runs him over for two. The Big Ending is escaped and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 2:01. Langston loses with a pre-match advantage and interferance. So much for him.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title here. Del Rio pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped out to the floor. Christian sends him into the barricade and Del Rio walks up the aisle as we take a break. Back with Del Rio kicking away in the corner but getting punched in the face to give Christian a breather. Christian is shoved to the floor to counter a tornado DDT, possibly injuring the shoulder that made him give up on Sunday.

Back in and the champion cranks on the arm before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Alberto misses a charge into the ropes and gets dropkicked out to the floor. Christian pounds away back inside the ring but misses a high cross body, allowing Alberto to dropkick him in the face for two. Christian’s spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two more but Del Rio avoids a middle rope dropkick and tries the armbreaker.

The Canadian rolls out and hits a tornado DDT out of the corner for two in a nice sequence. Alberto bails to the floor to avoid the spear and catches Christian with the running enziguri for two back inside. Christian blocks the low superkick and tries the Killswitch, only to have Del Rio send him shoulder first into the post. Alberto goes to the middle rope and rolls Christian into the armbreaker for the submission at 8:17 shown of 12:57.

Rating: B-. Another good match from these two and now the series is at 2-2. I’m guessing we’re supposed to ignore the two losses by Del Rio because he won the next two, though I don’t think many fans see it that way. The match itself was good stuff though with both guys building on spots they’ve used in their previous few matches.

Post match Del Rio talks about how awesome he is and how everyone else is a peasant. Is Del Rio being rich even a thing anymore? Del Rio says to follow him to greatness but Ricardo interrupts him. He says no one is going to lead him to greatness but now he’s hanging out with RVD. Rob comes to the ring and Christian dropkicks Del Rio down, allowing Rob to hit Rolling Thunder. That was a pretty non-good guy move there from Christian.

We recap the opening segment of the show.

Big Show/Mark Henry vs. 3MB

Slater gets to start with Big Show and is launched into the corner before it’s off to Henry. A big boot puts Slater down but Heath avoids a seated senton and brings in McIntyre for some stomping. Mahal comes in for the same but Slater is tagged in and run over by a BIG shoulder block. Big Show comes in and cleans house but Slater breaks up the pin after a chokeslam to McIntyre. JBL: “Dumb, dumb move.” The World’s Strongest Slam ends Slater and the WMD is good for the pin on Drew at 3:11.

Rating: D. The match was nothing and you can’t complain about it too much. It did its job, though either monster could have done the same thing in the same amount of time. It would help to have some midcard tag teams for Henry and Show to beat but there’s just not enough depth in the division to do that.

Post match Shield asks if beating 3MB is supposed to mean something. Seth says they’re going to have fun knocking Show down again. Reigns will never respect Mark Henry and Rollins adds that they’re just better than the monsters. BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD, even though Ambrose wasn’t in this interview.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Darren Young

Young gets taken down seconds into the match and Cesaro pounds him into the corner. There’s the gutwrench suplex but Cesaro charges into a boot in the corner. Antonio comes right back with the standing chinlock and a clothesline for two. Darren comes back with right hands and an overhead belly to belly followed by a northern lights suplex for two. A hot shot and the Gut Check are good for the pin at 2:31. Nothing match as Young’s push continues.

Ryback signs an autograph for a fan’s son but the fan doesn’t know what his name is. Ryback rips up the picture he signed as a result. I’m with Ryback here. How did the fan not know his name when it’s in big red letters on the front of his vest?

Punk has accepted the match with Axel for Raw.

The cage is lowered.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett pounds him into the corner to start but Bryan blocks a ram into the steel. Daniel pounds right hands in the corner but charges into a boot to the jaw. Now the ram into the cage works but Barrett can only get a two count. Bryan comes back with a backdrop into the cage and Daniel fires off kicks in the corner. There’s the backflip over Barrett in the corner but the running clothesline is countered into the Winds of Change for two.

We take a break and come back with Barrett kicking Bryan’s head into the cage. Now it’s Barrett having the back of his head rammed into the steel and Bryan adds the running dropkick to crush Barrett even more. A missile dropkick gets two and Bryan fires off the kicks to Wade’s chest. The big one to the head misses and Barrett sends him into the cage before clotheslining him inside out for a close two.

Wasteland is blocked via a grab of the ropes but Bryan gets caught in an electric chair for two. Barrett goes up the cage but Bryan makes a save. He can’t German superplex Wade down and gets kicked to the mat, only to charge up the corner and pull Barrett back inside. Bryan hits a rolling powerbomb to bring Wade back to the mat and the running knee to the face is good for the pin at 8:58 shown of 11:58.

Rating: B. Good match here with Barrett looking like he could hang with the big boys. It’s amazing how far he fell while being Intercontinental Champion because when he has a good opponent he can put on an entertaining match. Bryan was his usual good stuff here and the fans are still into him after Summerslam. Hopefully that holds up.

Post match Bryan celebrates on the floor but walks into an RKO.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really solid show as WWE continues their roll. We had good matches throughout the show with the bad stuff being pretty short. I’m not wild on the ending though. That’s three times now that Orton has stood tall over Bryan in three shows and that’s going to catch up with them. Bryan doesn’t need to beat Orton down or anything, but he needs to be standing when a show ends soon. It’s still very early in the story though so it’s not like it’s already dead or anything. Good show tonight.

Results

Curtis Axel b. Cody Rhodes – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. Langston – Zig Zag

Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Cross Armbreaker

Big Show/Mark Henry b. 3MB – WMD to McIntyre

Darren Young b. Antonio Cesaro – Gut Check

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – Running knee to the head

 

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Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally at Summerslam and the show looks great. It’s a two match show but those two matches have the potential to be masterpieces. Tonight’s main events are John Cena defending the Raw Title against Daniel Bryan and the Best vs. the Beast in CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. The rest of the card is hit or miss but Bray Wyatt vs. Kane in a Ring of Fire match has potential. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and Rob won the title shot in a battle royal on Raw. Feeling out process to start with Dean running Rob down. Ambrose does the finger point while shouting US Champion in a cute bit before taking Rob down with a hammerlock. Back up and Rob hits a quick spin kick to put Dean down and there’s the real finger point. Ambrose comes back with chops and punches in the corner as the slow start continues. Dean cranks on the neck and the fans are split down the middle.

A running dropkick against the ropes gets two on Van Dam and it’s off to the chinlock. They get back up and Dean avoids a charge in the corner but Rob comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. A kick look to set up the Five Star but here are Rollins and Reigns for a distraction but not a DQ. This brings out Big Show and Henry for backup as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose still in control with shots to the chest and a cross face chicken wing. An ECW chant starts up as Ambrose transitions into a sleeper. Rob is sent to the floor but the giants block Shield from interfering. Dean goes out to stare as well but gets kicked down by Van Dam, allowing Rob to put him on the barricade for the spin kick from the apron.

Back in and Rob hits a top rope front flip attack for a close two. Reigns trips Rob to break up Rolling Thunder but Rob still gets two off a cradle. A spinebuster gets two for Dean but a top rope backsplash misses. Rob loads up the Five Star but has to jump at Rollins instead. Dean get a very close two off a rollup but Rob comes back with a kick to the face. Now Rolling Thunder connects and there’s the Five Star but Reigns comes in for the DQ at 14:08. So what did Show and Henry do here exactly?

Rating: B-. This was getting very good until the ending. Again what was the point in Henry and Big Show being out there if they were just going to stand around and do nothing? Dean got to hang in there against Rob but it doesn’t look as good without the win. Good opener though and the fans were WAY into it.

The opening video focuses on the main events and not much more.

JoJo from Total Divas sings the national anthem. She’s not bad.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt and his Family debuted a few weeks ago and attacked Kane. Tonight the ring is surrounded by fire to prevent interference but you win by pin/submission. This is Bray’s in ring debut. Kane pounds him into the corner to start and clotheslines him down, sending the flames shooting into the air. The Family tries to get closer to the ring and there goes the fire again. Nice touch. Bray charges right at Kane and pounds away but can’t hit a suplex.

Kane suplexes him down instead, sending the fire up again. Bray avoids the low dropkick but misses a charge, sending himself into the ropes and near the flames. Wyatt crushes him in the corner with a splash and mostly misses a cross body. They’re lucky that the flames are covering up a lot of these misses. Bray slugs his way out of a chokeslam but Kane “hits” a big boot. Are the flames really messing them up that badly? That’s like three moves that have mostly missed. Kane side slams him down for no cover but Bray gets in a shot to take Kane down.

Wyatt asks for a weapon but as Harper loads up a kendo stick the flames go up, catching the stick on fire. Firemen put it out so Rowan steals the extinguisher, but it has no effect. There’s the chokeslam to Wyatt but Kane hits a second one for revenge. He calls for the tombstone but the Family puts a blanket over the flames, allowing the monsters to come in and beat Kane down. There’s no DQ though so this is all legal. Kane is destroyed and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: D+. This was disappointing. The visuals were cool but just putting a blanket over the flames was a pretty lame way to have the monsters get inside. I was expecting something a bit more supernatural instead of fire safety tips with the Wyatt Family. Also what was up with those botches?

Post match Bray sits in his chair with his hat on as the Family lays Kane’s head on the steps. They crush his head with the top part as Bray lights the lantern to a HUGE pop. The Wyatts take Kane with them.

The expert panel of Booker T, Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero talk about the match a bit.

We get part of a Heyman promo from the pre show as the fire stuff is removed. Punk vs. Lesnar is now No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners but Sandow cheated Cody out of the MITB case last month, causing Cody to throw the case in the Gulf of Mexico. Sandow talks about great literary pairs throughout history and says there was always a leader and a follower. Cody was the sidekick of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight he’s being sent back to the carnival his family came from. Cody has shaved his mustache and you can find out why on Friday on the Youtube channel. SERIOUSLY? They think people are going to check that out?

They start fast with Cody in control until Sandow takes him out to the floor. Cody is rammed back first into the apron and Sandow fires off forearms to the spine. A quick suplex gets two and it’s off to a knee in Cody’s back. Cross Rhodes is quickly countered but the legsweep and Wind-Up elbow get two for Sandow. Damien busts out Edge’s old Edgecator submission (it’s like a Sharpshooter but Damien leans forward on the legs instead of turning over and pulling) but it’s quickly broken up.

Back up and Cody catches him on the top rope in a Muscle Buster of all things for two. Damien backdrops him to the apron but Cody comes back in with a nice springboard missile dropkick. The Disaster Kick misses and Sandow hits his flip neckbreaker for two. Cody falls down on Sandow’s sunset flip for two before hitting the Disaster Kick for another near fall. Damien avoids a charge into the post for two more but Cody grabs Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and I like that they’re pushing Cody stronger. He had so much potential when he was Intercontinental Champion but it just fell apart since them. At the same time though, Sandow continues his downward spiral into nothingness, meaning he’ll be world champion in a few months more than likely. Maybe we’ll get a rematch for the case next month.

Video recap of Christian’s career which is pretty cool stuff.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Christian won a three way to get the shot and has pinned Del Rio twice in the last few weeks. Alberto makes Lillian do his intro in Spanish in a nice touch. Christian quickly sends Del Rio out to the floor but misses a baseball slide. Back in and Del Rio escapes a top rope rana attempt and hits an enziguri to send Christian into the Tree of Woe. Alberto fires off kicks to the chest and a running one somewhere near the shoulder.

Del Rio sends the shoulder into the barricade, meaning he has his psychology boots on tonight. Alberto sends Christian crashing down to the mat and hits a dropkick to the shoulder. King: “That’ll shake your maracas.” A top rope stomp to the shoulder gets two but Christian avoids a running crotch attack in the ropes to send the champion to the floor. Christian hits a BIG dive off the top to take Del Rio down again and Christian pounds away back inside.

Del Rio misses a top rope enziguri and takes a high cross body for two. Alberto begs for a breather but suckers Christian in for a headbutt to the ribs. Christian flips out of a belly to back but can’t hit the Killswitch. The sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the Backstabber (the knees clearly slid off to the side and never hit the back) for two. A rollup gets two for Christian but he gets caught by the corner enziguri for another near fall. This is MUCH better than I was expecting coming in.

The sunset flip out of the corner is blocked by Alberto but Christian hits a running enziguri of his own. A top rope hurricanrana gets a VERY close two for the challenger as the fans are way into these near falls. The spear is countered by a fast dropkick for two for the champion and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad but another shot to the head is countered into a rollup for two. There’s the spear but Christian’s arm gives out (THANK YOU! Edge did the same spot in 2001 but pinned Lance Storm like it was nothing). Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere and Christian TAPS at 12:34.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this match but the 50/50 booking is so stupid. Christian beat Del Rio twice clean in a few weeks but now Del Rio gets a win so we’re supposed to be impressed? It doesn’t work that way no matter what WWE thinks. Enough of the bad stuff though as this was a great match with both guys looking awesome out there. The crowd was totally into it and the ending was a surprise. Really good stuff here.

Post match Del Rio says he represents the Latinos and that he’s the world champion. This was a tease of a cash in but nothing happened.

Axxess stuff, including Maria Menunos in a Divas tag match.

Miz (the host of this show, in his first appearance here tonight an hour in) is in the back with Menunos. Not much is said until Fandango and Summer Rae pop in. A dance off begins and that’s about it.

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

This is the Total Divas match with Nikki, Eva Marie and the Funkadactyls in the corner. Feeling out process until we get to the catfight stuff, culminating in Brie having to bail from a Sharpshooter attempt. Eva and Nikki pull the ring skirt down to send Natalya to the floor, allowing Brie to take over. The fans chant for JBL and then Lawler as they completely turn on the match. Brie cranks on Nattie’s arm as the fans want tables.

After a faceplant it’s right back to the hold as this match is dragging three minutes in. Natalya makes a quick comeback and puts on the Sharpshooter but Brie kicks away and no sells the pain. The girls get in a brawl on the floor and we’re in the third use of the SAME hold. Someone get Fit Finlay back in this company immediately. The fans are chanting for Ryder as Natayla hits an Alabama Slam and the Sharpshooter gets the tap out from Brie at 5:20.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE with both girls looking bad. The Divas are horrid right now other than AJ and occasionally Layla but these reality “stars” are getting TV time because people like to see them argue and be insecure. Natalya is good in the ring but she can’t work a miracle with a model out there. Horrid match and they need to win the crowd back immediately.

Ryback torments a guy at catering over a bowl of soup. I’m sure the leather vest isn’t inspired by Bully Ray whatsoever. “Feed me moron.”

We recap Punk vs. Lesnar which is really about Punk vs. Heyman. Punk turned face around Payback and asked Heyman not to accompany him to ringside anymore. Soon after that Lesnar returned and attacked Punk. Heyman swore that he had nothing to do with it but he turned on Punk at MITB, costing Punk the briefcase. Punk swore revenge on both of them, starting with Lesnar tonight. This is a money feud for multiple reasons, but the biggest being that’s based on HATRED. Punk is furious at Heyman and wants his revenge. His method of getting it? In a professional wrestling match of course. So simple yet so effective.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

The tagline for this match is perfect: the Best vs. the Beast. It’s also No DQ. I always forget how scary of a man Brock Lesnar is until he comes to the ring. Lesnar immediately drives him into the corner and no sells forearms to the head. Brock LAUNCHES him into the other corner and stomps Punk down before no selling knees to the ribs. Punk is thrown around again and rammed into another corner with raw power.

Lesnar brags a bit too much and Punk gets in a kick to the head and a pair of knees to the face to send Brock to the floor. The suicide dive takes Lesnar down and the fans go NUTS. Punk loads up the steps but Brock rams into them to knock Punk down. Brock fires off knees to the ribs but Punk posts him for a breather. A top rope dive puts Brock down again as Punk is giving this all he has. Punk dives off the announce table with a clothesline and Brock is in trouble.

CM makes the mistake of going after Heyman though and Brock gets in a shot to take over. Brock tosses Punk over the announce table in an amazing throw for an even better crash. Since he threw Punk over the table once, Lesnar has to throw him over the other side for good measure. An over head belly to belly sends Punk down onto the concrete and Punk is barely moving. Back in and Brock drives Punk into the corner with shoulders and puts on a bearhug.

Punk gets in some forearms to escape but a knee to the ribs puts him right back down. Back to the bearhug and we get a shot of the evil look on Heyman’s face. Punk comes back again with shots to the head but his high cross body is caught in a fallaway slam. A backbreaker sets up a suplex for three straight near falls. Off to a chinlock but Punk BITES THE EAR to get some separation. More shots to the head stagger Brock and a top rope knee to the chest knocks him into the corner.

Two more running knees to the corner have Brock reeling but Brock catches the third in a fireman’s carry. Punk drops behind Lesnar and hits a high kick, setting up the Macho Elbow (didn’t look good) for two. The GTS and F5 are countered into another high kick but the GTS is countered into the kimura. Punk spins out and hooks a cross armbreaker (GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT) and then a triangle choke of all things.

Brock raises his hand but powerbombs Punk down….but the hold isn’t broken! The hand is still in the air but Brock lifts Punk into the air. Punk fires off elbows to the head, only to be caught in a running powerbomb to kill Punk dead. Lesnar can’t follow up though and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two on Punk as Heyman is having a heart attack. Lesnar hits Three Amigos of all things for two before very slowly grabbing a chair. Punk gets up and dives onto Lesnar but he mostly hit chair.

Now it’s Punk with the chair and a few shots send Brock back inside. Lesnar gets the chair away but Punk goes low to stop Brock’s chair shot. Punk takes the chair up top and drops an elbow (kind of) onto Brock for a closer two. More chair shots to the back have Lesnar screaming in pain but Heyman takes the chair from Punk’s hands. Lesnar is up AGAIN but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to escape the F5.

The GTS connects but Heyman comes in to break up the pin. Punk gets a big smile on his face as there’s no Brock to save Heyman, but the case winds up in the F5, which Punk counters into a faceplant for a VERY close two. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Heyman tries to come in with a chair, only to have Punk stand on the chair to block it.

Heyman slaps at Punk’s leg in a funny bit but gets caught by the neck. A right hand puts Heyman down and now he’s in the Vice but Lesnar is back up. He crushes Punk with the chair and hits him even harder the second time. A third shot knocks Punk silly and the F5 onto the chair ends this at 25:20.

Rating: A+. The storytelling and psychology alone made this a great match. I loved the idea that Punk kept taking the weapons away from Lesnar but once Brock got in the first chair shot the match was over. Punk showed he was smarter leading up to the match but his hatred for Heyman cost him in the end when he went on emotion instead of intelligence.

The action in this was incredible as well as it felt like a fight instead of a match, which is the right idea. If nothing else, this shows how bad of an idea the HHH feud was. Punk and Cena have both blown away all of the HHH matches with Lesnar by miles and miles, but we got a year of HHH and a month each of the other guys so far. Such is life in the WWE. Outstanding match here though.

We get a clip from Axxess where a fan took a splash from Mark Henry for three tickets to Summerslam.

Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston

This is just a combination of two feuds which is a fine way to get both of them on the card. The guys start with Ziggler getting caught in a belly to belly suplex and a spinning splash of all things from Langston. Off to an abdominal stretch before AJ gets in a slap to Langston. Dolph comes back with a quick dropkick and it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws AJ around with ease but gets caught with a wicked spinwheel kick to the face. A few neckbreakers put Kaitlyn down and AJ skips around.

Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long as it’s back to the guys. Ziggler speeds things up and splashes Big E. in the corner. Ten straight elbow drops to set up the jumping elbow get a two count. Langston makes a quick comeback but gets sent shoulder first into the post. AJ grabs Dolph’s leg but Kaitlyn spears her down as Langston runs Dolph over for two. The Big Ending is escaped into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. This was fine but it was in the death spot on the card between the two main events. It came off well enough though and the crowd was into it at times. It was a WAY better idea than putting the Total Divas match here which I thought they were going to do. Nothing great but it did its job just fine.

Fandango and Summer Rae cut off Miz again so he lays Fandango out.

Some low level celebrities are here.

The expert panel make their predictions on the main event. Bryan is the favorite.

We recap the main event. Daniel Bryan is on the roll of a lifetime and Cena selected him for the title shot tonight. The idea is simple: Bryan says Cena isn’t a wrestler, Cena says he’s proven everyone that has said that wrong. However there’s a wildcard in all this: HHH, who is the guest referee and will likely be joining Vince to hijack the match because their storyline is SO much more important than anything else.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

The fans are almost unanimously behind Bryan here. Cena has a very bad elbow injury coming in and has been out of action for a few weeks. Feeling out process to start with Cena taking him to the mat via a headlock. Bryan easily gets back to his feet and tries a test of strength of all things with Cena taking him down to the mat. He can’t break Bryan’s bridge though and Bryan monkey flips him down. The YES Lock doesn’t work as Cena bails to the floor.

Back in and Cena tries a left arm (the bad arm) headlock but Bryan takes him down again. The double knee stomp surfboard doesn’t work as Cena kicks Bryan away. Daniel goes to the apron and is knocked HARD into the announce table. Cena follows him to the floor but gets whipped into the steps. Bryan tries a suplex off the steps in a spot I’ve never seen before but Cena counters into one of his own to put both guys down. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!”

Cena wisely turns it into a brawl and punches Bryan down before hitting a Batista Bomb of all things. We hit the chinlock and HHH hasn’t been a factor yet. Bryan comes back with forearms to the head and kicks to the chest in the corner but HHH yells at him. Lawler: “Don’t gloat goat!” Bryan hits the running clothesline but misses the hard kick to the head. Cena tries his finishing sequence but Bryan kicks him in the head to block the Shuffle. Bryan can’t hook a submission hold and gets caught in the ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle for no cover.

Bryan flips out of the AA and catches a charging Cena in the chin with a boot. The missile dropkick connects for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest. Now Bryan goes after the bad arm before slapping on the STF of all things. Cena is about to get to the ropes so Bryan pulls him back and hits two German suplexes for two each. Bryan counters the AA into the YES Lock and Cena is in big trouble. Cena counters by getting his head free (wrestling you say?) but gets pulled down into a guillotine choke.

John FINALLY powers out of it but can barely follow up. Bryan charges right at Cena but gets caught in the AA for a close two. That came out of nowhere and had the fans inhaling in unison. Cena goes up but has to knock Bryan down twice before getting caught by a running dropkick. Now Bryan gets up top and superplexes Cena down but stays on top in a cool power move. He sits up onto the top for the Swan Dive but Cena is up at two. John rolls to the floor and blocks the FLYING GOAT with a forearm to the head.

This time the top rope Fameasser connects for two and Cena is getting frustrated. Cena tries the middle rope AA but Bryan fires off about 25 elbows to the head to break it up. Bryan can’t hit a top rope rana so Cena loads up what looks like a Styles Clash but jumps down and drops Bryan o his head in a SCARY looking botch. Bryan looks ok though and Cena rolls into the STF. Bryan rolls over to his side but the hold is still on, basically making it a chinlock with a body scissors.

Daniel rolls out and hooks the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Cena crawls over (with his arm slapping the mat in what could have been a tap if you stretched a bit) and FINALLY makes a rope. Bryan hits the running dropkick in the corner and makes it a pair for good measure. Cena comes back with a MASSIVE clothesline but he can’t follow up. They slug it out and both hit shoulders at the same time for another double layout.

Now they slap each other out in the middle of the ring and it’s Bryan taking over and moonsaulting out of the corner, but Cena nearly catches him in mid air. He tries a spinebuster but Bryan counters into a DDT and a lot of checking on each other. Bryan tries a high cross (popular move tonight) but Cena catches him in mid air. Bryan counters into the small package they’ve been building up for weeks but it’s only good for two in a GREAT false finish. The big kick to Cena’s head puts the champion down again and a Shining Freaking Wizard GETS THE PIN AND THE TITLE AT 26:58!

Rating: A+. WHAT A BRILLIANT FINISH! They totally fooled us all by having the standard WWE formula playing out but Bryan wins it out of nowhere with a knee to the head. Brilliant move there after a great match to boot. What more can you ask for in the main event of the second biggest show of the year? Excellent stuff and HHH did absolutely nothing at all.

Post match Cena grabs Bryan and turns him around but they shake hands. Cena leaves with no incident and Bryan celebrates but HERE’S ORTON! Bryan is looking at him though and says bring it on. Orton is standing at ringside and turns around. Bryan celebrates and HHH spins him around and Pedigrees him. Orton comes in and hands HHH the case. You know what’s coming.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Seven seconds and Orton wins.

Everyone is shocked to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There are definitely some bad spots on here but the main events more than make this a great show. The WWE has been on fire for the last few months and this was no exception with some great matches on top of the card and the midcard having some nice surprises with the Smackdown Title match being much better than I was expecting. The ending was what a lot of people were expecting, because screw making a new star since it’s all about the McMahons. Excellent show though and well worth checking out.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow – Cross Rhodes

Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Cross Armbreaker

Natalya b. Brie Bella – Sharpshooter

Brock Lesnar b. CM Punk – F5 onto a chair

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn b. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston – Zig Zag to Langston

Daniel Bryan b. John Cena – Shining Wizard

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – Pin after a Pedigree from HHH

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