Genesis 2005: Christian Cages Comes Calling

Genesis 2005
Date: November 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the month after Bound For Glory and there are two things of note: there’s a major debut tonight, and Eddie Guerrero died earlier in the day. The main event tonight is a six man tag with Rhyno/Team 3D vs. Jarrett/AMW with no stipulations on it, which means I have no reason to care about it. I can’t stand matches like that but they tend to happen once in awhile. If this is half as good as BFG was I’ll be a little surprised. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. Nothing wrong with that.

The opening video is about starting a new voyage and a new day and all over beginning things like that. There’s a lot of Clinton and Kennedy clips in there too. The main matches get some time too.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

We recap the Kru vs. Team Canada which mostly covers last month’s events. Kip is the guest referee in their hockey stick fight tonight. Konnan still doesn’t trust him.

The Kru talks about the surprise debut tonight (who isn’t mentioned by name here) and says that the rats are leaving the ship, meaning WWE. BG thinks Kip is cool but Konnan disagrees.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

It’s a hockey stick figdht, which means hockey stick on a pole but you have to be legal to grab it. So it’s a hockey stick on a pole match. Got it. This is A-1, Roode and Young. There are six total hockey sticks, one for each post. Sweet merciful corn on the cob can someone get Vince Russo some decaf? Kip James is guest referee. Team Canada tries to go and get the sticks before the match starts because no one is legal then, so we start with a brawl.

Kip tells Konnan to go to the corner and we get BG vs. Roode. Less than 30 seconds after we get settled, Eric (in headgear for some reason) climbs up and gets a stick. Kip takes it and breaks it over his knee then takes the headgear away. Ok then. Roode sends BG into the buckle and I can’t believe we’ve only had one stick grabbed in the first minute. BG comes back with the dancing punches and the shaky knee drop for two.

BG starts going up for a hockey stick but has a small nose bleed. There are SO many jokes. Tag to Truth who goes up but Roode saves the stick. Never mind as it comes down anyway and lands in the Kru’s corner. Leg lariat gets two on Roode. Off to Young who has about the same luck. Konnan comes in and puts his shoe on the end of the hockey stick. Egads this match gets stupider and stupider.

BG goes up for another stick but after he gets it, Roode electric chairs him down. A-1 comes in for some two counts. Kip has been neutral so far. Back to Young who gets two off a backbreaker. He goes to get a stick but BG knocks it out of Young’s hands and to the floor. Back to Young for a slug out but BG gets caught in a full nelson slam. Roode gets the fallen hockey stick but Truth disarms him.

Tag off to Truth and everything breaks down. Ax kick to A-1 but Roode hits the DVD and Young drops the elbow. Now it’s Konnan’s turn to clean house and he puts the Sunrise on Young but Roode saves. Another stick is brought down and it’s sword fighting time. The Kru takes over and it’s a double What’s Up onto two hockey sticks onto Young’s balls for the pin.

Rating: D. WOW this was overbooked. Seriously, six hockey sticks and a guest referee? Nothing to see here either as this feud would finally end the next month at Turning Point. The wrestling was pretty basic and Kip offered nothing at all to this. The point is that he can be trusted, but any referee could have done what he did here.

Kip gets to pound fists with Konnan as apparently they’re all cool.

Abyss and Mitchell are ready for that new talent acquisition. As for Sabu, the No DQ rule won’t bother Abyss and the barbed wire won’t bother him either. It’s opening Pandora’s Box and they crush an egg. This takes awhile to get through.

Tenay and West talk about the acquisition but don’t say who it is. The guy isn’t here yet.

We run down the rest of the card, 35 minutes into the show.

The Acquisition arrives and he’s coming to the arena. A countdown starts and it’s Christian Cage making his debut. Christian says the rumors are true but stops for Christian Cage chant. Jarrett and company are watching in the back and don’t like what they see. Christian says he’s not going to say the same thing every week and that he’s not here because he got fired. He made the jump on his own choice. WWE offered him a very large contract but he’s here because he loves wrestling.

He’s known to crack a joke or two, but he’s the best in the world today and that’s not a joke. He’s tired of politics and he wants to see wrestling reinvented. Last night he was watching Impact and it reminded him of when he showed up 8 years ago. Today there are still two companies, and just like back then, one is old and boring but now the young and hot one is TNA. He’s here to win the world title because that’s how he rolls.

Cue Scott D’Amore, the Team Canada coach. Roode comes out with him and D’Amore is very happy. He talks about some old times that Christian, himself, Adam, Jericho and Lance had when they went to Bret and Stu’s house. D’Amore says that if they unite with Jarrett’s team, they could rule this place. Christian has a question but Roode cuts him off and says Christian needs to realize the opportunity before him. Roode says we want an answer now but D’Amore tells him to chill. He throws Christian a Team Canada shirt and asks for an answer by the end of the night. Christian says he’ll think about it.

We recap the #1 contender’s match between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy. Both are top guys and want a title shot. Brown issued an open challenge and Hardy took him up on it.

Monty Brown says that he’s not worried about Christian and calls him out to the Serengeti. Jeff Hardy can bring it too. They’ll both be Pounced.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

We recap the Elimination X match which is an X Division Survivor Series match. Daniels is a captain and calls his team the Ministry. The other team is called…..uh…..Not The Ministry I guess. Joe thinks he should be captain instead of Daniels.

The Ministry minus Joe wants to know where Joe is but Daniels says don’t worry about it.

Samoa Joe/Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

The Ministry is pretty packed. Bentley has Traci with him. Aries looks really different minus the mustache. Strong vs. Bentley to start us off. This is standard Survivor Series rules. Strong controls with a quick headlock so Bentley does exactly the same thing. Off to Sonjay who flies around a lot in some standard spinny flips. Off to Shelley who looks way different as well. They go VERY fast, resulting in an STF by Shelley. It doesn’t get him anywhere but it looked good.

Shelley gets him into the corner and tags in Joe to a BIG reaction. Joe hits a bunch of Facewashes and a running one to take his head off. Dutt gets to the corner for a moonsault press but Joe walks away. Dutt faked him out though and hits the press for two. Joe responds by kicking his head off and hitting the backsplash. The crowd is eating Joe up and there’s a lot to eat there.

Daniels comes in but so does Aries, who takes him down with a flying body attack. With Daniels’ arm firmly controlled, it’s time for Sabin. I think he’s his team’s captain too. Captain or not, he hits some WICKED headscissors to have Daniels all spun around. Joe knees him in the back though and an STO puts Sabin down to take over for the Ministry. Off to a chinlock but Sabin fights up and kicks Daniels down.

Off to Aries who cleans house on Daniels and Strong. Strong counters the brainbuster and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street. Everything breaks down and Strong hits a rack into a backbreaker on Sabin. Bentley and Daniels head to the floor and the other six are all in now. Joe gets triple teamed and knocked to the floor and everyone on Bentley’s team other than Bentley hit stereo dives. Aries and Strong go back in and Aries hits the brainbuster followed by the 450 to eliminate Strong. Daniels comes in immediately and rolls up Aries with tights to tie it up. There weren’t ten full seconds between pins.

Dutt vs. Daniels now as it’s 3-3. Sonjay takes him down and drops a leg for two. Off to Bentley who doesn’t do as well, getting slowed down by a knee and allowing a tag to Shelley. Sabin comes in as well and hits a seated dropkick to the back of Shelley’s head for two. Sonjay comes back in and cleans house, knocking Joe and Daniels to the floor (with Joe leaving a HUGE sweat stain). Dutt cleans some more rooms of the house but Shelley hits what we would call White Noise and hooks a modified crossface for the tap out.

Shelley walks into a superkick from Bentley for a quick pin, leaving it as Daniels/Joe vs. Bentley/Sabin. Bentley suplexes Daniels down and brings in Sabin. Daniels gets put in the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick for two. Off to Joe who gets dropkicked down but he pulls out a powerslam for two on Bentley. Joe misses a running knee smash in the corner and it’s off to Bentley and Daniels. Release Rock Bottom and the BME get two.

Daniels goes up again but Sabin comes in as well for a double superplex, but Joe makes it a Tower of Doom which really just hurts Daniels even more. Joe knocks Bentley into the corner and fires off some Facewashes. Bentley pops up out of nowhere and superkicks Joe down for two. He gets on Daniels’ shoulders but Joe pops him in the face, hits the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gets it down to two on one. Sabin has to fight off both of them so he hits a tornado DDT on Daniels and an enziguri on Joe at the same time. Sabin takes Joe down again but can’t Cradle Shock him. He escapes the MuscleBuster but Angel’s Wings end this.

Rating: B. I don’t get why they never did another one of these. It’s a perfect kind of match for a PPV as it ate up almost 25 minutes and we got some great action out of it. It’s no classic or anything, but it got the signature stuff out there on PPV. The teams were a little lopsided though and that hurt things a lot. Still quite good though.

Joe is mad at Daniels for getting the winning fall and kicks him down. He goes to the floor and CRACKS daniels with a chair and hits a MuscleBuster on him, followed by a second on the chair. This would basically be what turned Daniels face. He gets stretchered out and AJ watches, looking distraught.

Jarrett and AMW say they’re ready for anyone that TNA throws at them.

We recap Abyss vs. Sabu. The idea is that Sabu can’t beat him one on one but Abyss is terrified of barbed wire, so Sabu has a weapon to use.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

We recap the X Title match which came about from Williams “winning” Ultimate X at the last PPV and then winning another one on Impact to make up for the botched ending last month.

AJ says he’s never seen eye to eye with Daniels but he respects him. Joe broke the unwritten X Division Code and AJ will deal with him. Oh and he’ll beat Petey.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams

Feeling out process to start with AJ hooking a weird leg lock rollup for two. Styles does the drop down into the dropkick spot which is always good. A pair of kneedrops gets no cover. Petey countered the Clash attempt and gets to the apron. AJ knocks him off and hits a flip dive but lands on the barricade and bounces into the crowd. A-1 comes out and offers a distraction which goes nowhere.

Back to the apron and Petey tries a German off the apron but AJ hangs on to avoid a nasty case of death. And never mind as it actually works and AJ’s back goes into the barricade. FERAKING OW MAN!!! A-1 gets thrown out. Back in the ring a regular suplex gets two and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Styles fights out of that pretty quickly so Williams fires off some kicks to the ribs.

Petey misses a shoulder in the corner but as AJ tries a springboard, Petey drops him onto the ropes. A SWEET rana to the floor works on the back even more. Back inside now and it’s the Tree of Woe and O Canada. We reach a point that is so boring that we get a replay from the German off the apron from earlier in the match. Back to live action and AJ hits the Pele. He goes after the ribs with a series of gutbusters and now it’s Petey in trouble.

AJ’s flurry results in a Styles Clash attempt but Petey escapes and rolls him up for two. Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for the same. They trade rollups and chops and the Clash is countered again, this time into a DDT for two. The Destroyer is countered and it’s off to the Sharpshooter instead. As Styles goes for the rope, Petey hooks his arm to block the rope break. That was creative.

AJ gets there anyway and heads to the apron for the springboard forearm. Petey gets up first and heads to the corner but AJ enziguris him down. Petey tries a super Destroyer but AJ knocks him down. Styles sees Joe with a towel with Daniels’ blood on it and Williams crotches him. That gets him nowhere though as AJ hits the Clash from the middle rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it’s not AJ’s best stuff. It was very clear that AJ was going after Joe next so it was hard to believe that Petey was much of a threat to the belt here. Still though, this was good and the idea of who could hit their finisher first was a nice story for it. Good match but not great.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s Planet Jarrett vs. the top face tag team and the top face heavyweight. All I can say is thank goodness this was Rhyno instead of Nash. I don’t get why they had to take the title off of him so fast though. Let him keep it for a few months. Jarrett would beat him in a singles match at Turning Point anyway. This gets the music video treatment which isn’t bad.

The Dudleys and Rhyno say they’re ready. Why does that take a few minutes to get through?

Team 3D/Rhyno vs. America’s Most Wanted/Jeff Jarrett

Nothing on the line here, which is the kind of main event that I can’t stand. Team 3D comes out last instead of the guy that was world champion two weeks ago. Jarrett and AMW run into the crowd in different spots, apparently wanting to start out there. The Dudleys say cool and the bell rings as the ECW guys head into the crowd. It’s one of those brawls where you can’t see a thing.

Rhyno is beating on Jarrett near some empty seats and Ray throws Tenay’s chair at I think Storm. D-Von rams Harris into the Spanish Announce Table as Jarrett and Rhyno go WAY up high. A low blow knocks Rhyno down some stairs and Ray misses a chair shot which hits the post instead. We’re over six minutes into a fifteen minute match and they haven’t been in the ring together yet.

Storm misses a beer bottle shot and we’re FINALLY getting back to ringside together. D-Von hits Harris with the bell and Ray uses a cheese grater on Storm IN THE RING. Harris is busted now. Here’s a table but Harris moves it to keep Storm from going through it. The referee is totally cool with all this stuff. Ray takes a cheese grater to the balls. Rhyno is on the stage and hits Jarrett with a garbage can.

The table gets moved again to keep Harris safe and there’s a LOUD chair shot that we only hear. Rhyno drags a table up to the stage as we’re ten minutes into this match. Rhyno throws the table upside down and then piledrives Jarrett on the stage rather than on the table. The table gets set up in front of the tunnel and after he hits Storm, he charges….right into the superkick from Storm.

I think we have a normal match now with Storm vs. D-Von. It only took them 12 minutes. Catatonic is countered into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Storm comes in (no tag, the villain) for a reverse tornado DDT. Bubba Bomb gets two on Storm but the one to Jarrett is blocked with a low blow. Stroke gets two. Rhyno comes in from nowhere to Gore Jarrett but Harris pulls the referee out. AMW crotches Rhyno on the post and hits a double spinebuster on Ray. Hart Attack gets two on D-Von. Ray breaks up a Death Sentence through the table and a 3D pins Storm.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to call this. They were in the ring about 2 minutes out of nearly 16 so you can barely call this a match. As a fight it wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day, what does this mean? Team 3D wouldn’t get the titles until April of 2007 so it didn’t mean much for them. This was a throwaway main event but it certainly wasn’t boring.

Jarrett hits Rhyno with a guitar post match so the Dudleys set up a table. After getting a fresh one, Gail tries to hit Bubba low. Bubba blocks that and sets to powerbomb Gail through Jarrett through the table. Team Canada comes in for the save and puts D-Von on the table. Jarrett goes up top but Christian comes in with a chair.

He unzips his jacket to reveal a Team Canada shirt. D’Amore hugs him and gets pulled into an Unprettier. Jarrett gets slammed off the top and takes a 3D through the table (with the Dudleys doing a double flapjack and Christian doing the cutter for some reason). Christian reveals a TNA shirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show at all but it wasn’t that memorable. Christian debuting is by far and away the biggest thing here, but other than that, nothing really happens here. No titles changed hands, partially because only one was defended. The main event should have just been Jarrett vs. Rhyno II and let Jeff get the belt back here. It’s not a bad show, but it’s not one that you would ever need to see again.

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Hard Justice 2006: The Impact Zone Is On Fire! No Seriously. There’s A Fire In The Rafters.

Hard Justice 2006
Date: August 13, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

This is at the other end of the spectrum for TNA as the next show in 2005 was Unbreakable and that’s the last TNA show I’m going to be doing. The show looks very different now and in a good way for the most part I think. The main event here is Jarrett vs. Sting for the title (shocking) and there’s also AJ/Daniels vs. LAX which is usually good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how good and evil are eternal rivals which is what they’re trying to push Jarrett vs. Sting as. They’ve feuded on and off over the years but eternal rivals? No. Just no. What this has to do with justice is beyond me.

Eric Young vs. Johnny Devine

Johnny is part of Paparazzi Productions. This is when Eric is all paranoid about getting fired so he’s trying to get all the fans he can behind him, meaning he’s got a parade of people after him chanting DON’T FIRE ERIC! Devine says Eric is going to choke under the pressure. Eric knocks him back and then gives him a hug as we get going. Devine punches him down and drops a few knees to the head.

We get a pretty sweet move as Devine is sent into the corner and tries to jump over Eric off the bottom rope but instead shifts in mid air into a reverse DDT. Then things get interesting as a legitimate fire breaks out in the rafters and the ring fills up with fire extinguisher spray. You can see the flames through the fog which is a little scary.

Devine suplexes him down and misses a springboard moonsault. The idiot fans chant “You can’t see us.” Eric gets a good powerbomb as the smoke is clearing out. Top rope elbow gets two. A sunset flip by Eric is countered but he gets Devine in a wheelbarrow position and flips him into a neckbreker for the pin.

Rating: C. All things considered, this wasn’t bad. Young had become a hit with the fans at this point as the paranoid guy that everyone loved, as opposed to now when he’s done the same schtick for over a year without ever really changing anything. The fire extinguisher stuff wasn’t their fault and to their credit they kept right at it which was impressive.

Earl Hebner runs out and chokes Mark Johnson for some reason. He’s mad about being fired and says that if he’s going down, Jarrett’s going down with him. Ok then.

We run down the rest of the card.

We see Jarrett arriving earlier with his second, Scott Steiner. Sting and Christian got here earlier today too.

We recap the four way tag match which is AMW, the James Gang, the Naturals and Bentley/Kazarian which I think is a #1 contenders match. I don’t think this needs much of a recap. All of them want the titles and have been fighting over who should get it.

First though we have to replace the mat because of all of the fire extinguisher stuff on it. What’s the right word for that anyway? Foam? Spray? Anyway Don and Mike talk about the fourway to fill in time.

Now we recap Sting’s career in TNA. He came back in January of 2006, had a tag match and said he was gone. Jarrett said he didn’t think Sting was gone so he sent the Pararazzi to film Sting at home, which ticked Sting off. He came back as Steve Borden to beat up Jarrett and then a month later as Sting. Steiner came in the next month to beat up Sting so Sting brought in Joe to beat up Jarrett but for some reason they switched his friend to Christian and sent Joe to the midcard again. Jarrett got the title back at Slammiversary and this would all set up tonight.

We come back to a sign saying technical difficulties, please stand by.

Here’s the same Sting video that just aired.

Tenay and Borash are in the back and we’re told that the fire marshall has evacuated the building and are testing everything before we continue the PPV. We look at the fire breaking out in the opening match. West comes in and says the people are being allowed back in now. To be clear, this isn’t something that can be held against TNA. It was an accident and who knows whose call it was that the building had to be cleared out. That could be building policy, local or state law or maybe even something else.

Tenay and West hype up the rest of the card to fill in more time. Eric Young comes up and wants to make sure that he’s not being blamed for the fire. Monty Brown says he’s going to blaze everyone in his triple threat match. This is about as good as they’re going to get for filling time which is ok. Also points to Brown and Tenay for doing this on the fly. It drags on too long and Brown runs out of insults. The fans are coming back in as Tenay helps Brown out by saying the winner could get a possible title match. Shane Douglas comes up to complain about life in general. His team is with him and he talks about them a bit at the end.

JB is with Alex Shelley who is replacing Kevin Nash in the X-Division match tonight. Nash has a bad neck apparently. Devine wheels in Nash in a wheelchair and a neckbrace. Nash tells Shelley to go to war and takes the brace off to give Shelley his dog tags. As little sense as this whole angle would wind up making, it was pretty funny.

Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin

The winner is #1 contender to the X Title. Feeling out process to start and it’s exactly what you would expect from the Guns in a singles match against each other. Shelley charges into a boot in the corner and Sabin hits a missile dropkick for two. Sabin loads up a Jackknife and does the Wolfpac sign before hitting the powerbomb. Shelley comes back with a bulldog and a Lionsault for two.

Sabin sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to take both guys down. Back in the ring and Sabin goes off with the kicks, followed by a springboard guillotine legdrop for two. Sabin loads up a tornado DDT but Shelley comes back with a middle rope atomic drop. Into a modified crossface but Sabin makes the rope.

Sabin gets Shelley into the Tree of Woe and hits the hesitation dropkick followed by a freaky spinning DDT for two. Sabin loads up something in the corner but Alex rolls off the corner and rolls forward into a Backstabber off the middle rope. Cool. Shellshock gets two and Nash puts a chair in the ring. Sliced Bread onto the chair is countered and Sabin kicks it into Shelley’s face. Cradle Shock gets the pin.

Rating: B-. As you would expect, these two put on an entertaining match. It’s easy to see why these two would be put together as a team because they compliment each other so well. The Nash stuff was part of a bigger story which I’m still not sure I get all of but it was entertaining which makes it ok.

Mitchell and Abyss aren’t worried about Brother Runt and say he’s doomed. Runt has been listening to Raven apparently and Raven has been telling Runt fairy tales.

We recap Runt vs. Abyss. The Dudleys had left for awhile to heal up and told Runt to stay out of trouble. Naturally he picked a fight with Abyss because that’s the kind of thing Runt does.

In case it wasn’t mentioned earlier, the four way tag match is canceled. The announcers haven’t said that yet but I don’t have time to wait on them.

Abyss vs. Brother Runt

Runt has a mohawk and looks like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, which Tenay and West keep calling Taxi. Runt is no Judd Hirsch. He starts fast with forearms and a headbutt to the ribs but Abyss kicks him down and throws him over the top and into about the third row. On the floor Runt comes back with a Dudley Dog onto the barricade. Raven is watching from somewhere. Runt throws in some chairs but Abyss wedges the first one between the ropes. Runt’s head goes into the chair for Abyss to take over.

Abyss splashes him in the corner as Raven is still watching, apparently from next to the stage. Abyss loads up a superplex but Runt gets in a shot with Abyss’ chain to knock him to the ring. Acid Drop (Dudley Dog, same thing) gets two. The referee goes down and Abyss gets his bag of tacks. Abyss rubs Runt’s face into the tacks and stomps on the back of Runt’s head, sending it into the tacks. Ok that’s not bad. Runt comes back but gets gorilla pressed onto the tacks. Black Hole Slam onto the tacks ends this.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I’ve never gotten the appeal of Runt challenging whatever monster there is but I suppose it was to set up Raven vs. Abyss later on. Abyss threw him around all match long and then beat him up with the tacks in some decent looking violence. Pretty boring match though.

Rhyno says he was looking for Joe and Brown during the confusion earlier. He’s here to destroy both of them no matter where he needs to go.

We recap Rhyno vs. Joe vs. Brown. Rhyno was offered a contract with the new ECW but he turned it down. He threw out an open contract for a fight at Hard Justice which was accepted by Joe and Brown. It’s falls count anywhere which is going to be stretched to mean hardcore.

Samoa Joe vs. Monty Brown vs. Rhyno

Big brawl to start and Brown is sent to the floor where Rhyno dives on him. Joe dives on both of them and stands tall. Brown brings in a trashcan but Joe takes it from him. In a cool sequence he hits Brown in the back with the can and with Brown bent over, Joe punts it into Brown’s face. Joe gets sent into the crowd and Rhyno follows him with a kendo stick. They go over to that wall that you always see in the Impact Zone but Brown dives onto both of them to take over.

Rhyno and Joe ram each other into the wall enough times to crack it and boards are falling off of it. Brown beats on Joe with said boards before Rhyno takes Brown up above the wall. Joe pops up with a crutch and then a chair to the back of both of them. He superkicks Brown back a bit and they stumble further into the crowd. Joe poses long enough for Rhyno to hit him in the head with a trashcan lid.

Brown comes in with one of his own but gets suplexed by Rhyno for his troubles. There’s a suplex for Joe but he blocks the Gore. A suplex gets two on Rhyno for Brown. Rhyno knocks Brown upside the head again and pulls some more weapons from under the ring. They go into the ring with Joe still down. As I say that, Joe comes back in and cleans house on Brown, hitting a backsplash for two.

Joe goes off on Rhyno but walks into a spinebuster onto a chair. They go to the corner with Rhyno looking for a superplex. Joe pulls him down with a sunset bomb onto the chair for two. Brown is back in now and takes Joe to the floor. He loads up a table but can’t suplex Joe off the ramp through the table. Instead he hits a swinging neckbreaker on Joe on the stage. Rhyno runs in with a trashcan lid shot to both of them. There’s a table set up off the stage but Rhyno misses a Gore off the stage and crashes through it. Brown goes down to pin him but walks into an STO off the ramp through the table by Joe for the pin.

Rating: A-. That’s probably high but DANG this was a wild brawl. They didn’t stop for over thirteen minutes and some of those weapon shots were HARD, especially the ones with the trashcan lid by Rhyno. Joe would keep running through everyone and wouldn’t lose until December to this Angle dude. He would beat Jarrett (non-title of course) next month. Brown would have one more match until he left for WWE.

Larry Z says Earl Hebner has been thrown out. He says he had nothing to do with the controversy at Slammiversary. Mark Johnson comes in and wants an explanation but Larry says it was Johnson’s fault.

We recap Gail vs. Sirelda. Sirelda is the lastest Chyna wannabe who beat up Gail on behalf of AJ and Daniels, so tonight it’s girl vs. whatever Sirelda is.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Scott Steiner goes on a semi-famous rant, talking about how Christian is a surprise as Sting’s backup. That’s strange because Scott Steiner is from a highly educated university and has to dumb himself down for these fans.

We recap the X Title match which is Senshi defending against Williams who won a five way and Lethal who is in the match because he tried hard in a match against Jarrett.

Senshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

Williams knocks Lethal to the floor and follows him out with a rana off the apron. Senshi dives out to the floor, takes out both guys and lands on his feet. It’s Lethal vs. Senshi at the moment. Williams comes back in and walks into a Liger Kick from Senshi. Lethal back up now but he misses a moonsault out of the corner. Senshi shoves Lethal into Williams and Williams kicks Lethal down.

Petey puts Lethal in the Tree of Woe and does the O Canada spot. Senshi kicks Williams down and loads up the Warrior’s Way but Lethal comes back in for the save. Lethal’s superplex is broken up and Senshi dives onto Williams. Lethal stays up there and dropkicks both guys down, drawing a Lethal chant from the crowd. Both guys are slammed by Jay and he hits stereo low dropkicks to the face.

Lethal’s slide through Senshi’s legs for a sunset flip attempt is broken up by a kick and they all try to roll each other up. Jay gutwrench suplexes Senshi down but gets caught in a Sharpshooter by Williams. Senshi breaks that up with a kick to Petey for two but gets caught in a release German for two from Lethal. Swan Dive to Petey misses and there’s the Canadian Destroyer to Lethal. Senshi kicks Williams down and pins Lethal to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good three way here as they had some great counters in there at the end. Senshi was a guy that I’ve always found uninteresting and Williams only had one move and Lethal was pretty dull without the Savage stuff, but they combined for a decent match here. I think Sabin would take the title off Senshi.

Konnan says LAX’s revolution continues tonight. Daniels and Styles are handpicked champions and LAX won’t stand for that.

We recap LAX vs. Styles/Daniels. It’s pretty much exactly what I just explained: LAX is leading the Latin revolution against TNA and they’re starting by taking the tag titles.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Daniels and Hernandez start things off and it’s power vs. striking. Daniels escapes a suplex and hits a headscissors followed by a leg lariat to send Hernandez to the floor. Off to Styles vs. Homicide and Tenay is WAY too excited about it. They trade armdrags and slug it out with rights to the head. Homicide snaps off a rana but AJ nips up into one of his own to send Homicide out to the floor.

Hernandez tries to come in but the champs double team him out to the floor. It’s back to Styles vs. Homicide now but a Hernandez distraction allows Homicide to hit a neckbreaker for two. SuperMex comes in legally now and hooks onto AJ’s head with a neck crank. Back to Homicide for a chinlock of his own. AJ tries to set for a springboard but Hernandez breaks that up. Homicide hits a tope con hilo through the ropes to take AJ out again.

Daniels tries to come in but it just allows Konnan to get in more offense. Hernandez gets the tag and chokes a bit before it’s back to Homicide. AJ comes back with a front suplex to drape Homicide over the top rope which is good for the tag. Daniels cleans house on both challengers, hitting a combination bulldog/enziguri. Split legged moonsault gets two. Homicide goes to the floor but Daniels drops down on him as well. Hernandez dives over the top to take them both out but AJ hits a HUGE off the top rope shooting star to take everyone out.

Everyone is down until AJ gets up and throws Homicide back in. A faceplant gets two because AJ gets up to take out Hernandez. Daniels is back up and a double team cross body gets two on Homicide. LAX hits a kind of Steiner Bulldog for two on Daniels. Homicide sets for a tornado DDT but AJ blocks it until Hernandez comes over for the Tower of Doom. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault into the DDT for two on SuperMex. Everyone is down and AJ hits the Pele on Hernandez. Release Rock Bottom puts Daniels down but Konnan crotches Styles. LAX sets for double finishers but the champions escape and hit High Low to retain on Homicide.

Rating: B. These two teams had some excellent chemistry together and their future matches would get even better. This won feud of the year in TNA I think and I certainly can understand why. Daniels is always tolerable when he’s not facing AJ so this was a much more enjoyable performance from him.

Christian says he thinks Jarrett started the fire to get out of his match. He’s not going anywhere and tonight, Jarrett loses the title. As for Steiner, he can come after Christian anytime. Sting gets the title tonight to cut the cancer out of TNA.

We get a shortened version of the Sting vs. Jarrett video from earlier.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Christian and Steiner are the respective seconds. We almost get in a fight with the big match intros but after them we’re ready to go. The fans chant steroids at Steiner. Feeling out process to start but Sting quickly goes for the Scorpion twice in less than a minute. Out to the floor and Jeff is thrown over the announce table. Sting hits him with a fan. As in a cooling machine, not a person.

They’re in the crowd now as is the custom for a Sting main event match. All Sting so far. Sting throws Jarrett back into the ring after an extended crowd beating but as the the referee (one of three) is with Christian, Steiner hits Sting in the knee with a chair and suplexes Christian. Jeff goes right for the knee and Sting is in trouble. There’s the Figure Four and of course it’s on the wrong leg.

Jarrett makes the eternal mistake of slapping Sting which lets Sting turn the hold over and eventually make a rope. They slug it out and Sting isn’t selling the knee. Stinger Splash misses but the Stroke is countered into the Death Drop for two as Steiner pulls the referee out. Christian goes after Roidzilla with a chair but gets ejected for trying to use it. A regular splash from Sting gets knees to put him down.

Steiner throws in the belt and distracts the referee but Christian trips him up and throws the belt to Sting. Jarrett is clocked but Steiner’s distraction lets Jarrett recover and put his foot on the ropes. They collide and Steiner hits Sting with a chair, knocking his head into Jarrett’s crotch. Christian and Steiner get in the ring for a fight but Steiner is thrown out. Wasn’t Christian ejected? Either way he hits Jarrett with the chair and is ejected again as a result.

Steiner is in the ring behind the referee but doesn’t actually do anything. Now he gets ejected as well so it’s FINALLY even. Sting and Jarrett are both getting up but Sting misses a dropkick. Jarrett hooks the Scorpion on Sting but Sting Hulks Up and powers out of it. Scorpion to Jarrett but Jeff makes the rope. Stinger Splash hits the referee and Jarrett hits the Stroke, but there’s no one to count. Cue Steiner again with a guitar but Christian comes in with the bat. He cleans house with it but turns on Sting as he comes off the top, hitting him with the guitar. Jarrett gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: C. WAY overbooked here as almost all Jarrett vs. Sting matches wind up being. How hard can it possibly be to have Jarrett vs. Sting? I mean….IT’S JEFF JARRETT VS. STING. Do you think they can have a good match on their own? This might as well have been a tag match and it didn’t set up Christian vs. Sting for some reason. Instead we got Joe vs. Jarrett next month and Sting vs. Jarrett again at BFG.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was a bit of a mess, but it was a fun mess. The fire messed up a lot of stuff but it happened early enough in the show that it didn’t change much (other than the promos which mentioned it all night). There were some good matches here and the main event, while overbooked beyond all need, was entertaining enough and let Christian do his obvious turn. Pretty good show but it had some holes in it.

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Monday Night Raw – September 3, 2001: Kurt Angle: American Psycho

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2001
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 14,890
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Another week closer to Unforgiven and to the best of my knowledge, nothing has been announced for the show yet. After the last two weeks being horribly uninteresting shows, hopefully things can bounce back a little bit tonight. The problem with the Alliance stuff at this point is they don’t know what to do next with it. The Alliance is here, they’ve won a few matches, WWF has won a few matches…..and then what? That question never seemed to get answered. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Austin stole the medals. On Smackdown he tried to run Angle over and then threw the medals in a river.

Undertaker vs. Test

They fight over who is stronger to start and Taker uses….my goodness he uses a hip toss and an armdrag. Now it’s an STF, which might be better than Cena’s. Test comes back with a clothesline and some elbows to the face. Side slam gets two as does a middle rope jumping back elbow. Test hooks a Russian legsweep but Taker comes back with a rolling leg lock which is quickly broken up. The fans chant for the Leafs as Taker hits a clothesline. He loads up the Last Ride but Steven Richards of all people runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here as it was nice to see Undertaker actually let someone else get in some offense for a change. The ending kind of sucked but I think it was to allow Richards to bring in Kronik to fight Kane/Undertaker. The stuff from Undertaker was pretty nice for a change, especially the armdrags and STF about five years before he became the MMA Cowboy of Death.

Test kicks Undertaker’s head off post match.

Christian says he’s looking forward to winning the title tonight. He’s talking to an usher or something like that when fans come up and say they’ve got front row seats. They’re happy to see Edge’s brother. Christian tells the usher to make sure they’re put in the nosebleed seats so they don’t mess up the pictures when he wins the WCW Title.

Richards says that he jumped Undertaker because Undertaker played a big role in disbanding the RTC. He wants a match with Undertaker on Smackdown.

Clips from the Wrestlemania press conference where the announcement was made that it’s coming to Toronto.

Regal is talking to Tajiri and tells him if he finds a partner tonight, he can have a #1 contenders match vs. the Dudleys. Big Show comes in and speaks Japanese, apparently because he’s Tajiri’s partner.

Austin and Debra get here and the Alliance is waiting for Austin with an ovation. They have a surprise for Austin later because they’re inspired by him throwing Angle’s medals in the river last week.

Dudley Boys vs. Tajiri/Big Show

This is for the #1 contendership for one of the sets of tag titles. Show runs them both over to start and it’s off to Tajiri to face D-Von. Tarantula gets a big pop. Bubba cheats and uses a hot shot on Tajiri to give the EVIL ones the advantage. Torrie comes down and gets in Tajiri/Show’s corner as Bubba drops elbows. Apparently this is for the shot at both sets of titles. Ok then. Tajiri kicks Bubba’s head off and it’s hot tag to Big Show. He cleans house but Tajiri accidentally shoots mist at him, allowing the 3D to pin Tajiri.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? Was there no team that they could have thrown at the Dudleys to set this up? Sadly enough there isn’t because the division was on the verge of death at this point. Not much to see here but I’m sure the Torrie and Tajiri stuff is starting up soon.

Show runs over Torrie because he’s blind so he carries her off. The Dudleys put Tajiri through the table to a big pop. Show comes back out to make the save, despite Tajiri being dead for the most part.

Shane and Booker offer to help Christian win the title in exchange for the first shot. Christian seems cool with this.

The US Champion Kanyon (I had to remind myself since he never defends the thing) at WWF New York loves Austin and sounds like the Cowardly Lion.

Stephanie comes in to see Austin and Debra to tell them that the surprise is getting closer. Austin thinks Debra is scared that Kurt Angle might be coming. Stephanie assures her there’s no chance Angle will be here tonight. Debra gets him a beer and it fizzes a bit. Uh…ok?

Shawn Stasiak vs. Spike Dudley

Stasiak pounds him in the corner and powerslams him in front of a quiet crowd. Gorilla press gets almost no reaction and the beating continues. Spike gets tripped by Stacy which means nothing as Stasiak charges into a boot in the corner and the Dudley Dog gets the pin.

Molly beats up Stacy post match.

Christian gives Edge the KOTR trophy back and apologizes for being a jerk lately. He wants to win the title on his own tonight too.

Moppy has been kidnapped and Saturn has been given a ransom note asking for $100,000. He asks Hurricane for help and using some very questionable logic, Hurricane concludes that it’s Matt Hardy’s doing.

WCW World Title: Christian vs. The Rock

Shane is guest timekeeper and Booker is guest ring announcer. After Booker introduces himself and Shane, we’re ready to go. Booker distracts Rock and Christian jumps him to start. Shane gets in some shots on the floor and Rock is in trouble due to the numbers game. Rock gets it to one on one and hammers away but Christian kicks him right back down. Out to the floor again and Booker drops Rock on the belt on the table chest first.

Now Christian sends Rock into the table as Canada Power is in control. The reverse DDT onto the knee gets two. After a quick run on the floor Rock hits the Samoan Drop to put both guys down. Shane distracts the referee and Booker slides in the belt to Christian. Rock fights back and hits the belly to belly and a DDT for two. Spinebuster sets up the Sharpshooter but Shane interferes again. Rock drills him but Booker clotheslines him on the top and a reverse DDT gets a VERY close two. Rock throws Christian into Booker and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than the Rhyno match last week but it was basically the same idea. Rock running through the WCW midcard is fine as they offer quick challenges to him without wasting something big like Booker vs. Rock. It’s clear that match or something similar is happening at Unforgiven, but naturally that’s not important enough to announce yet.

Rock tells Booker to just bring it and it’s on, but Shane jumps Rock and the beatdown commences. The APA makes the save.

Stephanie and Debra go into schoolgirl mode because the surprise is here.

Stephanie comes to the ring to make fun of Canada and their grammar issues. Also why would Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving? Is it because they want to be more like Americans? This comes off like a bad standup comedy bit. They shouldn’t celebrate Labor Day (today) either because they don’t do anything. Speaking of hard work, Stephanie brings out the hardest working man she knows: Austin.

The surprise is a new truck. Debra runs down all the features which takes WAY too long. One of them is the paint job. It’s black. That’s not exactly a feature. It also has a radio and mirrors. She’s really not that good at this. It has power steering and power brakes. Debra is talking about the words written on the tires. Just get to Angle destroying the thing already because you know that’s what this is building to. Debra invites Austin to come see the truck because she wants a ride.

Austin goes to the back and looks at the truck, including the leather which he really likes for some reason. He gets in the back of the truck and says he’s King of the World. FINALLY Kurt comes out of the back and hits Austin with a pipe, chains him up to something in the truck bed and speeds away in the truck.

Matt Hardy/Lita vs. Ivory/Hurricane

The guys start things off and Matt is so fired up that he gets put in position for a superplex. The fans chant for Hurricane as Ivory raises the roof. Men vs. women is cool here. Off to Lita who hits her headscissors but walks into a facejam for two. Off to the men and Matt can’t fire the crowd up at all. Ivory gets speared down but Saturn comes down to break up the middle rope legdrop. Eye of the Hurricane gets the quick pin. This was worthless.

Saturn beats up Hurricane post match.

Storm comes up to Christian and makes fun of him for losing. He makes fun of Toronto and Edge makes fun of Storm for various issues.

Debra does the first logical thing in the history of wrestling kidnappings and CALLS THE POLICE. The Alliance has a TV in their locker room and the truck pops up on it. Where is this feed supposed to be coming from? Austin is also blindfolded despite not being so when they left. Angle rants about the stolen medals and says this inspired him. Angle takes him to the edge of the bridge they’re on and Austin apologizes for throwing the medals away. Kurt lifts him onto the edge but doesn’t throw him. He says we need a higher bridge and it’s back to the driving.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

Huge pop for Edge of course. Storm jumps him during his posing but Edge is ready for him. Storm comes back with an enziguri to send Edge to the floor. Springboard clothesline back inside gets two. Edge gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two. Superkick and Edgecution are blocked and there’s the Maple Leaf. Edge finally makes the rope and Storm stays on the knee, but gets rolled up for Edge to retain.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad at all. Canadians are good at having wrestling matches and this was no exception. To be fair Storm was trained by Stu so did you expect anything but quality? I like both of these guys though so that probably has something to do with it. Granted this was just a way to set up what comes next.

Christian comes out with a chair for the save and cracks Edge with it to turn heel. He adds a one man Conchairto, which I think is the debut of that move. Those were some great chair shots.

Rob Van Dam/Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho

This is Jeff’s return after destroying himself and a table in a ladder match with RVD from two weeks ago on Smackdown. Rob and Chris start things off and a jumping enziguri puts Van Dam down and it’s off to Jeff. The fans chant at Hebner so the match doesn’t get much attention. Jeff pulls Rob off the top and does the legdrop between Rob’s legs. Rhyno and Chris fight so the Swanton gets no count. It also hurts Jeff’s ribs which is the call of the Rhyno who works the injury over.

The fans chant ECW as a belly to belly suplex looks to set up the Gore. Jeff moves and it’s hot tag to Jericho. Rhyno is sent to the floor and Rob counters the Walls. Chris dropkicks Rhyno off the apron and Rob knocks Jericho down and hits a standing moonsault. He tries a German suplex but Jericho rolls through for the pin, just like Edge did in the last match.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a shortened version of last week’s main event which wasn’t all that good. That being said, the only way to fit this massive roster on TV every week is with a tag team main event so there isn’t much of a shock there. Jericho and Van Dam faced each other at the PPV I believe in what was probably one of the best matches of the night.

Back to the American Kidnapping Hero who has found a higher bridge. Austin begs for a bit and Angle continues to be psycho. Angle says he’s going to make Austin think about it, which means we’ve got bills to pay so let’s take a break.

Back with Debra crying in the ring for Austin’s life. This is really bad stuff. Back to Angle and Austin with Austin showing those acting skills as he begs. The payoff for this is Angle demands a rematch at Unforgiven which he gets, and then shoves Austin into a kids’ swimming pool and steals the truck. Yeah seriously, that’s it. Quick question: WHERE DID HE HAVE THE POOL? Did he leave it on a bridge in Toronto for the last hour and no one moved it? That’s a stretch even for a wrestling storyline.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was a little better but that’s still not saying much. The Christian turn was good and we FINALLY set up a match for Unforgiven, but at the same time it’s still not an interesting show given what they have to work with. That sums up the Alliance in a nutshell: they had everything and gave us nothing of note.

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Turning Point 2006: Total Ring Time – 75 Minutes

Turning Point 2006
Date: December 10, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Wrestlemania is over so it’s time to go back to TNA land. This is the final PPV of 2006 but as usual I’ll be going backwards for the next few shows. The main event here is Angle vs. Joe II after they hotshotted the first match in their series, which we’ll get to next time. The other main event is Abyss defending the world title against Sting and Christian, which I think is the same match that happened next month at Final Resolution. Let’s get to it.

The opening video….is a puppet show? I think it’s supposed to be Christmas themed but it’s really weird and turns into a highlight reel of the feuds. It’s 2006 so TNA didn’t have this down yet. Now there’s a fire extinguisher putting the video out. Ok then.

Senshi vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Austin Starr vs. Jay Lethal

This is the opening match of the Paparazzi Championship Series which is something that I don’t think anyone really got the definitive idea behind. This is an elimination match and Nash, the guy who started the whole thing, is on commentary. Starr is Aries with longer hair. Nash talks about bringing Jerry Lynn into the X-Division back in Mexico City in 61. Only two in the ring at a time and Lethal starts vs. Shelley.

Shelley crawls on his knees as Tenay explains the PCS as best as he can. Shelley goes into the ropes and gets the rope kicked into him. He tries to show the wound to Starr who isn’t that interested. The winner of this gets 5 Series points, the runner up gets 4 and so on down the line. Shelley takes him to the mat and tags in Starr who gets dropkicked. Lethal tags in Dutt who elbows him down for two.

Alex comes in again and takes over for a bit, only to get punched down by Lethal. Dutt and Lethal are a semi-regular tag team so the chemistry makes sense. Nash accuses Dutt of being on steroids in a funny bit. Dutt walks the ropes but Starr crotches him from the apron. Nash: “What do you think feels worse: that or a paper cut?” Senshi comes in and is SERIOUS. He’s the wild card in this as he’s not affiliated with either “team”.

Dutt sends him to the floor and sets for a dive but Starr takes his head off with a clothesline. Starr sets for a dive to the floor but Shelley tags himself in and they yell at each other. Lethal dives on Senshi as they argue and the heel team decides on stereo suicide dives, but Shelley stops so Starr can dive alone. Back in Dutt DDTs Shelley for two. Nash talks about winning silver in the 68 Olympics in two man synchronized swimming as Dutt DDTs Shelley and puts him in the camel clutch for the submission.

Down to four now and Jay comes in to fight his partner. Dutt runs to the ropes and Senshi tags himself in. Lethal doesn’t see it so Senshi can kick his head off for the pin to get rid of Lethal. Off to Starr with the Pendulum Elbow. Jumping elbow gets two. Senshi comes in and fires off a bunch of kicks for two on Dutt. It’s basically a handicap match at this point. Dutt avoids a charge in the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two on Starr.

He takes Senshi down as well and a Lionsault gets two on Starr. There’s the camel clutch to Starr but Senshi makes the save. Brainbuster is countered and Dutt gets some two counts, but the second brainbuster attempt works, setting up the 450 to pin Dutt. Down to two now and they slug it out. Senshi hits a springboard enziguri for two. Starr escapes a move called the Crusher and loads up the 450 but Shelley comes out for a distraction. Senshi rolls up Starr for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here as all five guys were pretty good. There’s nothing great in the whole thing but it was entertaining enough. The PCS thing went on for awhile and got funny after awhile, but I don’t think it ever really accomplished anything. I guess it was a BCS parody, but it went on WAY too long.

Eric Young is worried about his bikini contest with Tracy. JB tells Eric to man up.

We recap the Roode vs. Young feud. Roode wants the fans to love him so he wants to sign Young to work for him.

Time for the bikini contest. Brooks looks good, Eric wears a t-shirt with a bikini on it. Roode protests so Eric takes the shirt off to reveal Spongebob boxer briefs. Those don’t count so he takes those off to reveal a Spongebob Speedo. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS??? Young wins and Roode jumps him. Roode yells at Brooks, telling her to do whatever it takes to sign Young or she’ll be the one that gets fired.

We go to the back where the interviewer is going to talk to “Michael Hickenbottom and Paul Levesque”, known as Dumb to the Extreme. Big Fat Oily Guy comes up to visit them. I HATE this stuff. It’s not funny, it’s not original, and NO ONE BUYS IT. But that didn’t stop TNA from doing this for MONTHS.

Quick recap of the X-Title match. It’s Sabin vs. Daniels with Lynn as referee. Lynn mentored Sabin and now is worried about what he’s created.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels

This is the second match and we’re 40 minutes into this show. But hey, we got SPONGEBOB! Jerry Lynn is guest referee and was disrespected by Sabin lately. Feeling out process to start and Sabin controls with a headlock. There’s no hair to grab to cheat so he grabs the ear. Daniels speeds things up and takes him to the mat with an armbar. He rams Sabin’s face into the mat a few times for good measure.

Suplex sets up a slingshot moonsault for two. Sabin counters with an amateur based stomp to the foot and a drop toehold to put Daniels in 619 position. A springboard missile dropkick puts Daniels on the floor as the challenger is in control. They go to the ramp with Daniels having his back worked over. Back in the ring Daniels is sat down in the ring and Sabin hits a running single boot to the back of the head. Cool move. It was like a one footed dropkick.

Off to a neck crank which Daniels breaks pretty quickly and hooks a backslide for two. The fans chant for the Fallen Angel but Sabin chokes him between the ropes. Legdrop to the back of the neck gets two. We get a dueling chant which is about 95/5 in favor of Daniels. STO gets the champ a break and he pounds away. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Out to the floor again and Sabin goes back first into the barricade.

Something like a baseball slide puts Sabin down and Daniels drops an elbow from the top to the floor for two. Back in Sabin dropkicks him down and hits a pretty sweet springboard tornado DDT for two. Daniels comes back with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. A Death Valley Driver gets two. Downward Spiral sets up a Koji Clutch but Sabin gets a rope. Release Rock Bottom sets up the BME and it’s over.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this more during the end, but Daniels dominated him at the end and took some of the drama out of it. Good match though and Sabin was always good for a watch in his solo stuff. Daniels against someone other than AJ is ALWAYS an upgrade and the fans were into him a lot here.

Lynn demands that Sabin shake Daniels’ hand but when Sabin won’t do it, Daniels gets in Lynn’s face and earns himself a slap for some reason. This feud went on for a good while.

We run down the rest of the card almost an hour into a show.

Here’s Cornette for an announcement of some sort. He brings out some baseball players, one of whom has a book. One of the EVIL players rips some pages out of it, until Lance Hoyt makes the save. This drew a loud WE WANT WRESTLING chant.

We recap AJ vs. Rhyno, which was the start of AJ’s heel turn and subsequent dive into being a clueless schmuck. Rhyno had said he was trying to help him and AJ didn’t like it.

Rhyno says he sees selfishness in AJ, which he used to see in himself. AJ jumps him during the promo and we lose the camera so we go to a shot of the crowd. Ok now they’re brawling outside. Their match is next but this is just pre-match brawling. They head into the arena with Rhyno throwing him into a wall as they brawl in the crowd. AJ comes back and pounds away but Rhyno punches him down the steps. This is what we call padding because there are only six matches plus the bikini deal, so they don’t have enough wrestling to fill in a three hour show. AJ tries a charge but gets backdropped to ringside. Hey a bell.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

AJ pounds on him and whips him into the corner so hard he rolls forward. Off to a surfboard hold and AJ does his drop down into a dropkick sequence. Styles knocks Rhyno to the floor but won’t dive on him because the fans would like it too much. Instead he slides to the floor and tries a springboard off the barricade, only to jump into a belly to belly onto the concrete. Back in a spinebuster kills AJ for two.

They slug it out and we finally hear about how this is about AJ growing up poor and wanting to shake that mantle off himself, which Rhyno can relate to but AJ didn’t want his help. Rhyno throws him to the floor and AJ hurts his knee. The match stops now as the medics take a look at AJ. He says he can finish but the knee buckles. The referee goes to make the match stoppage announcement…and Styles rolls in rolls Rhyno up for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was going really well until the stoppage in the middle of it for the knee injury. The fans thought it was awesome and while I’m not sure I agree with that, it was certainly a good match but the run time (seven and a half minutes, with two or so being spent on the injury) hurts it a lot. Still pretty fun though.

AJ dances on the ramp.

More stupid DX nonsense with “Vince” here. This actually makes my eyes roll.

Rhyno and AJ brawl even more. This filler stuff is REALLY getting annoying.

We recap the flag match, which is American’s Most Wanted vs. AMW for national supremacy I think. LAX points out that they’re American citizens with the right to burn a flag, which AMW doesn’t care for.

LAX says they’ll win and get to hang their flag and have the Mexican national anthem played.

LAX vs. American’s Most Wanted

LAX has the tag titles but this is FOR HONOR. You win by hanging your country’s flag, even though both teams come in with the other’s flag. But EVEN THAT is overly complicated because the flags are already hanging in the corners. I think you have to steal the others’ flag and replace the one in your corner with that one. Brawl to start but Gail Kim, AMW’s chick, hits a GREAT moonsault to the floor to take out LAX. Storm goes for the American flag, which I guess is how you win.

James gets put in the Tree of Woe but Homicide can’t drive a chair into his face. Harris won’t free him though as he needs to dive on Hernandez. Yeah apparently you have to steal your own flag (as in the one that represents your country, not the own flag you brought with you, so it’s your flag but not YOUR flag) and put it in the corner that’s designated yours’. There’s a ladder involved for some reason, despite the fact that you could stand on the top rope and get the flag.

LAX is dominating as Homicide hits Three Amigos for a big reaction. Gail offers a distraction and Harris superplexes Homicide down. Hernandez pulls down the Mexican flag and now we’re told that you have to hang the flag above the ring like it’s in a ladder match. Could this be any more overly complicated? Well yeah actually it could but it’s pretty annoying. Gringo Killa is loaded up but Gail comes in and ranas Homicide. You know the good guys are pretty big cheaters in this match.

Now Gail, the Canadian-Korean, takes the American Flag but gets stopped by the Cuban most famous for his success in America as a Mexican import. Now Petey freaking Williams, who is in the middle of this somehow, comes in to try a Destroyer on Konnan but Hernandez makes the save. SuperMex dives onto Storm but mostly misses. Harris and Homicide go up and start to hang the flag but Storm comes up with a beer bottle. He breaks it over the head of Homicide but the glass gets in Homicide’s eyes, allowing Hernandez to come in and hang the flag to win.

Rating: D+. The match was ok, but SWEET GOODNESS did they overly complicate things here. There were three run-ins and they didn’t bother to explain what in the world Petey had to do with this. This match was just ok but the overbooking really hurt things. If they’re this short on time, why in the world are they leaving these matches at like ten minutes?

Gail yells at Storm post match. Konnan brags about winning and says this is about having class. The Mexican national anthem is played and we just kind of sit here and listen to it. That’s all it is for about two minutes. LAX stands there saluting while the Mexican national anthem plays. Like I said, there’s filler and then there’s this show. This is ridiculous.

Video on Samoa Joe.

Storm rants about Chris Harris quitting instead of really being hurt. This would be their split. Storm wants an apology by Thursday.

Here’s the Voodoo Kin Mafia to waste even more time. The announcers say this is for, and I quote, “The next really bad skit in their series.” They’re dressed like “Shawn and HHH”. After doing the DX intro, they bring out “cheerleaders”, with Tenay and Mike saying spirit more time than should be legally allowed. They bring out Fat Oily Guy for a dance and that’s it. Oh wait, no it’s not because Road Dogg wants to talk.

He says that sometimes people have issues differentiating between parody and reality TV. “Surprise surprise, we’re not Hickenbottom and Levesque.” Yes they’re actually saying this. They claim that Vince is mad about the parodies they’ve been doing which I don’t buy for a second, but this is TNA so who cares? They claim this is like when they went to WCW in Atlanta and then going to a house show.

This is REAL remember. The fans chant SCREW YOU VINCE and this is freaking stupid. Now they’re talking about Vince’s balls and issue a million dollar challenge: they offer Vince a million dollars to have a fight (“no angles, no spots, no finish”) with Vince’s two guys, meaning Shawn and HHH. If Vince doesn’t accept, he’s gutless. They’re FINALLY done after spending ten minutes on this nonsense.

This was one of the DUMBEST segments I’ve seen in years. TNA is so obsessed with catching WWE and making them look stupid that they have no idea how bad it makes them look. Yes, Shawn and HHH were reunited as DX at this point and had a pretty goofy feud with Vince and Shane over the summer. And you know what? IT DREW RATINGS AND MONEY. Road Dogg and Billy Gunn are standing in a ring complaining about them stomping on DX’s legacy, as if ANYONE has cared about the New Age Outlaws in the past 6 years prior to this show. There’s a reason you’re in some minor league people.

Second, they would wind up claiming victory when no one showed up for their challenge (the same night as a WWE PPV). Do they honestly think ANYONE cares about this nonsense? Did TNA really believe they were going to get fans, as in the smarks they cater to, to believe that Shawn Michaels and HHH or Vince McMahon were going to appear on a show that at this point was pure minor league level stuff? Is that what I’m watching a PPV to see? A “shoot challenge” from a couple of washed up has-beens?

Third, why in the world are we wasting PPV time on it? This show is already WAY short on wrestling, with tons of brawls and segments already because this company can’t manage to put on seven matches. There are six matches on this card, one of which goes past fifteen minutes. Based on what I can find, this show has about SEVENTY FIVE MINUTES of wrestling on it, with the whole broadcast running about 170 minutes.

That translates out to about 44% of the show being used on wrestling. Think about that. We’re getting an hour and fifteen minutes of wrestling, but we have time for a bikini contest, two brawls, this nonsense, and who knows what else. This is a great example of why no one took this company seriously for years and why a lot of people still don’t.

We recap the world title match. Sting wants Abyss to be his own man and calls him Chris, Mitchell says Abyss is an animal, Christian is involved because you can’t have a title match without there being three people in it more than two straight months.

Christian says he’ll get the title back while Sting and Abyss are having their soap opera. Tomko knows what Abyss’ secret is too.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Sting vs. Abyss

Abyss beat Sting for the title last month by DQ, in I think the only time that rule (which to be fair was established as a regular rule but has since been taken away) ever came into play. Tomko and Abyss stare it down before the match but nothing comes of it. Sting fights them both to start and sends Abyss out to the floor. Christian gets thrown out there too so Sting dives onto both of them. The guy will do some big spots when asked to.

Tomko throws Sting into the steps and Christian takes over for a bit. He goes back inside and runs into the champion who throws him around like a monster is supposed to. A corner splash puts Christian down and Sting is back in. Total control for Abyss at the moment as he stomps on Sting. Christian ducks a charge though and hits a tornado DDT for two. The Canadian goes after the knee of Abyss and knocks Sting to the floor.

Abyss tries a gorilla press but Christian escapes and gets to the corner. That doesn’t work that well as Abyss tries to load up a superplex but Sting comes in to make it a Tower of Doom. Stinger Splash to Abyss and Sting shrugs off some Christian chops. Stinger Splash to both guys in the same corner but Christian goes to the eyes to break up the Scorpion. Rollup gets two for Sting on Abyss. Abyss gets knocked to the floor and Tomko kicks him in the face. Unprettier is countered and Sting hooks the Scorpion. Sting, ever the idiot, goes after Mitchel and lets the hold go. That guy never learns.

Tomko throws in the belt but Sting avoids the shot and slingshots Christian into Abyss to keep the champion on the floor. Death Drop gets two as Tomko pulls the referee out. Tomko comes in to stomp Sting but Abyss jumps him. A clothesline puts Tomko on the floor and Abyss throws Christian over the top to the outside. Here comes a chokeslam to Sting but Mitchell wants to throw in tacks.

The fans chant for Chris (Abyss, not Christian) and he doesn’t want to use the tacks. He pours the tacks out but tries to chokeslam Christian instead, only to have Tomko kick his head off. Abyss gets kicked into the tacks and Sting tries to talk to him. Since this isn’t overbooked enough, Christian brings in a chair to pop Sting and a Black Hole Slam lets Abyss retain. They were trying to pull the referee out again there.

Rating: D+. This is where TNA loses me again. It’s a Russo problem more than anything else: there’s a decent match in there somewhere, but you can’t find it because of all the other stuff. We had in a 12 minute match, tacks, a chair, a ref bump, an attempted ref bump, a psychological therapy session, Tomko interfering, Mitchell interfering, and maiming. Why can’t it be three guys fighting for a title? Why is that such a bad thing? TNA comes off like it has a severe inferiority complex so it throws all this other stuff out there because it’s ashamed of what their regular product looks like. This was a good example of that.

Angle says this is the last match he’ll have with Joe. After tonight everyone will know he’s the best.

Angle talks about wrestling a guy from Iran and losing because he never thought he’d see him again. They did have a rematch though, in the gold medal match. Joe deserves a rematch. No one has ever hurt Angle like Joe did and Joe wants to hurt him again. The back and forth verbal servicing goes on for a few minutes, because Heaven forbid two people in TNA don’t like each other or don’t spend five minutes praising the other first.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

The fans chant you tapped out at Joe, because they turn on their favorites at the drop of a hat. Now they say Joe’s Gonna Kill You. Now they’re split. This crowd needs therapy. They go to the corner quickly and then Angle takes him down with a wristlock. Kurt tries a half crab which goes nowhere. Joe comes back with a short arm clothesline and chops in the corner, followed by punches and kicks.

Angle starts to come back but gets backdropped over the top to the floor. Joe follows him to the outside and they slug it out, only to have Angle take over and hit a dive to the floor. Joe gets his head rammed into the steps a few times HARD. Angle goes inside but Joe is like screw that and comes back, only to get stomped down again. They go to the mat and Joe grabs a keylock.

Angle counters that and sends Joe into the steel cable in the corner to take over. Belly to belly stops a brief Joe comeback. Off to a body vice and Angle is in control. That doesn’t last long as Joe comes back with right hands and a release German suplex to put both guys down. Angle counters the Clutch and it’s Rolling German times. There’s the ankle lock but Joe rolls through. Angle rolls through the MuscleBuster into an ankle lock and Joe is in trouble.

Joe rolls out of it again but Angle immediately comes back with the Slam for two. Ankle lock goes on but Joe rolls around well enough that he pulls Angle into the Clutch. Angle counters THAT into the ankle lock. Joe does the same counter he did before into the Clutch again and Kurt is in trouble. THAT gets countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Joe makes the rope which puts him in a short list of people that have escaped the grapevine. Angle changes up to going for a pin, in this case off a belly to belly superplex. Joe counters the Slam and down goes the referee. Joe hooks the Clutch again and Angle taps but there’s no referee. He goes to get the referee and Angle kicks him low. Angle goes to the floor and gets a chair but it hits the rope and bounces into Angle’s face. Joe pulls him into the Clutch and Angle taps for the win.

Rating: B+. Was there any need for the chair ending? Really? Either way it doesn’t mean much but Angle tapped like he should have so it doesn’t matter. This was a good match though and they had the crowd going really strongly by the end. The problem here though is that this is the second match and it happened at Turning Point after the first one at Genesis. It falls a little lower based on that. Still very good though and a great main event.

We take a long look at the match we just saw.

Overall Rating: D. The main event really is good and is worth checking out, but that’s really all that saves this show from being really bad. The problem here is that there are so many things standing in the way of it being a passable show. Stuff like the Voodoo Kin Mafia stuff and the TON of stalling and six matches on the whole card really makes this show look bad. More importantly than that though, it makes the company look like they have no idea what they’re doing and it makes them look like they’re incapable of filling up a three hour show. That’s a really bad sign, but at least they would improve…eventually.

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Monday Night Raw – April 4, 2005: Needs More Batista

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,653
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is from the Raw after Wrestlemania and was a request. HHH has lost the world title to Batista last night so this is the start of a new era in a sense. Looking at the rest of the card (which is pretty short in the first place), we’ve got Edge vs. Benoit which should be good. I’m not sure what else to expect tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a Wrestlemania recap set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down. They’re my favorite band so I’m not complaining here. It transitions to another song that I don’t recognize. It was the show where Cena and Batista won their first world titles, plus there was the first MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn’s classic. If it ran about 45 minutes shorter, it would be one of the best ever. With that extra time though, it’s just a good show.

Here’s HHH to open the show. You know, the guy that lost last night. The Game can’t get anything in because of the Batista chants. He admits that he lost the title but goes into a huge rant about how the Batista Era isn’t beginning because he was on for one night only. HHH is great every night. You think he gives that same speech to Stephanie when she complains about things? HHH says he owns the title and the rematch is at Backlash. He’ll get the title back and ram it down all of our throats.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was when Shelton was the hottest star in the company not named Cena or Batista and he’s defending the title here. I think all three of these guys were in MITB last night. Yeah they were. Thanks JR. JR then loses his credibility for this match saying Shelton won the title off Jericho a few weeks ago. He won it in November JR. Shelton and Jericho square off but Christian wants some of that. He gets punched in the face for his efforts and double teamed.

Jericho and Shelton seem to team up for a bit but that breaks down quickly. Chris controls on the champion and hits the bulldog, but he’s too banged up for the Lionsault. Christian comes back in and sends Jericho to the floor so he can work on Shelton. Off to a chinlock as the fans chant CLB. Shelton loads up a superplex on Christian but Jericho comes in to powerbomb him, making it a Tower of Doom.

Everyone is down and Jericho gets two on Christian, then two on Shelton. Jericho fires off a forearm and enziguri on Christian but covers Shelton instead for some reason. Shelton sunset flips Jericho but Christian rolls him up for two. Jericho sunset flips BOTH of them at once for two. Stinger Splash from the champion hits Jericho and the Exploder puts him down, but Tomko pulls Shelton out. Jericho hooks the Walls on Christian but Shelton comes in with a springboard bulldog (looked GREAT) to Jericho for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this. The midcard was pretty awesome at this point with Shelton leading the way. Then he got lazy and stopped caring which really crippled his career. Anyway, at this point he rocked and couldn’t have a boring match if his life depended on it. When Christian and Jericho have trouble keeping up with you, that says a lot.

Edge is in the back with Bischoff and signs his contract for a world title shot. That’s the MITB contract I think. Bischoff asks if he wants to use it tonight but Edge says no, because he wants to pick his spot. Eric says you get Benoit tonight then.

Here’s Orton who lost to Taker last night. The fans chant for Undertaker and Orton says it wasn’t supposed to go that way. He talks about being chokeslammed and tombstoned last night. Orton claims a shoulder injury during the match last night and he would have reversed the Tombstone otherwise. But enough of that, because he wants to talk about Batista. He respects Undertaker but doesn’t respect Batista. Orton says he’s the future and wants Batista TONIGHT. Eric comes out and says that HHH gets the next shot because of his rematch clause. Orton says make the match tonight and Eric says ok.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Christy looks GREAT in blue. Christy is the Divas Search winner and Lita is training her. That doesn’t make her any good in the ring but she looks great. Trish is evil here and this is a rematch from last night. Before the bell ever rings, Trish KILLS Christy with a Chick Kick and knocks her out. Lita, still injured, gets in Trish’s face and they slug it out, but Trish kicks Lita in her injured knee and puts a hold on her. Trish walks out, but DANG that kick looked great.

We get a clip from last night with Muhammad Hassan jumping Eugene and beating him up until Hogan made the save. That’s still a great moment that I still watch from time to time. By clip, I mean the whole segment.

Here’s Shawn, limping after Angle destroyed his leg last night. He talks about how he gave it everything he had last night but things didn’t end like he planned. Shawn asks for a small favor: would anyone want to see a rematch? The fans want it so Shawn says he’ll do whatever he can do to make it happen.

Cue Hassan and Daivari to get on our nerves by speaking Farsi or whatever language that is. Hassan makes fun of Shawn for losing and says Shawn fears him because he’s Arab American. Shawn takes his jacket off and Hassan calls him a loser. This starts a brawl but Shawn’s knee gives out and he gets beaten down. Hassan puts him in a camel clutch to end this.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit has a bad left arm from last night. They brawl fairly slowly and Edge is knocked to the floor. Back in and a knee to the ribs puts Edge down. Benoit is having to fight tentatively because of the arm. Out to the floor again and Benoit fires off some chops. He slides back in and takes Edge down with a baseball slide. Coming back in, Edge drapes the arm over the top rope and Benoit is in trouble.

Edge works over the arm with a wristlock and a hammerlock. Benoit comes back with a trio of Germans, the third one being release style. He stupidly goes up but the Swan Dive misses and the arm hits the mat again. Benoit gets sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Edge working on the arm even more. During the break Benoit tried the Crossface but the arm gave out.

Edge cranks on the arm even more but goes up and is crotched. Benoit chops him on the corner and they trade headbutts. Benoit GOES OFF and hits a huge superplex to put both guys down. Here’s the Sharpshooter which Benoit wisely pulls on with the right arm. After about two minutes, Edge finally gets to the ropes. The bandage is off Benoit’s arm. He manages the Crossface but the arm gives out so Edge can escape. He DDTs the arm and loads up the spear, but Benoit sidesteps him to send Edge into the corner, letting Chris roll him up for the pin.

Rating: B. Two matches up, both very good so far. These two were always going to give you good matches and the arm injury was a really nice story to put into the match. Benoit would never reach the level he hit the previous year but he was always good for something like this. Edge would do little for the rest of the year before cashing in the case in January.

Edge rams Benoit’s arm into the steps post match. He also beats on it with a chair.

It’s time for an infomercial by Simon Dean for the Simon System with Maven as his protege. This isn’t going to end well. Simon says (get it?) that anyone, even the people in LA, can look like Maven using his system. He says that the people here are getting fat drinking beer. I think I can hear the glass shattering from here. Yep there it is. Austin makes fun of the system and says WHAT a lot. If you won’t know where this is going, I’ve failed you.

They agree to try each others’ drinks and Simon asks for a glass. Austin has none of that so Simon holds his nose. Simon does push-ups to work off the calories of the beer. They’re wasting Austin on this? Austin says do a bunch of push-ups which Simon does. Now it’s time for Austin to try the protein shake. Austin says the shake smells awful and won’t drink it. Maven says that’s because it’s a man’s drink and throws it on Austin. Stunners and beer abound for awhile.

Orton is coming to the ring and runs into Kane who makes fnu of him for losing.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. We get our first look at the guy that won the main event of Wrestlemania with less than eight minutes of air time left. The bell rings with less than six and a half minutes to go in the show. Orton shoves him into the corner but Big Dave powers out of it. Orton takes over and hooks a chinlock but Batista snapmares out of it.

They’re very clearly going through the motions here. Batista pounds on him and shoves him into the corner for the shoulders. He misses one though and Batista’s shoulder hits the post. Not that it really matters as he rams Orton’s face into the post. Back in the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb get the easy pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as these two never really had the big match that I think they were always expected to have. They should have had a great feud and rivalry on paper but it never really played out that way in reality. Not the worst match ever but for Batista’s first match as champion it didn’t work that well.

HHH comes out to applaud Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was mostly good here and the show was entertaining enough, but the main event did very little for Batista. This felt more like Austin was the main attraction or something like that. Not a bad show but there needed to be WAY more focus on Batista.

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ECW on SyFy – November 17, 2009 – Ryder Talks About Twitter

ECW on SyFy
Date: November 17, 2009
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Byron Saxton

This isn’t a show I talk about all that much but it was requested so here it is. This is one of the very last ECW shows as it would be replaced by NXT in February of 2010. The main event tonight is Punk returning to the show to team with Regal against R-Truth/Christian in what should be a good match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a closeup of the ECW logo when Punk pops up. He says it all started for him here before he became a three time straightedge World Heavyweight Champion. It’s like Alexander the Great returning home.

Theme song opens us up.

This is the go home show for Survivor Series.

Here are Ryder and Rosa to open the show. He talks about getting messages on Twitter (why am I shocked?) but he’s here to introduce us to Rosa who he praises a lot. She says he almost won last week and it’s like going shoe shopping once. The fans boo this out of the building of course. He wants her here to be in his corner for his next rematch with Shelton.

Here’s Benjamin who accepts the challenge and hits on Rosa. Zach defends her and gets called a tool. Now he’s a power tool according to Shelton. Shelton wants to do it right now. Ryder says let’s wait which gets some solid heat. Shelton looks away and gets punched as Ryder runs off.

We recap Hurricane vs. Paul Burchill. Hurricane has been running around being a hero but Burchill swears it’s Gregory Helms. They’ve feuded for awhile and tonight it’s mask vs. career.

Paul Burchill vs. The Hurricane

Burchill has Katie Lea (Winter) with him. Feeling out process to start and Hurricane arm drags him to the floor. Hurricane sends him to the floor again and it’s time for a chinlock. Katie trips Hurricane so that Burchill can hit a Saito Suplex to take over. Back from a break with Burchill controlling via a chinlock. Burchill pounds on him in the corner but Hurricane avoids a charge. They slug it out with Hurricane taking over. A Hurri-press and clothesline take Burchill down for two.

Eye of the Hurricane is broken up though and a kick to the face gets two for Paul. Another Eye attempt is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Hurricane hits a rana for two but Katie distracts him again and a powerslam gets two for Burchill. A suplex is reversed into the Eye of the Hurricane but it only gets two. Hurricane goes up again but gets crotched. Burchill tries to suplex him to the floor but Hurricane counters into a swining neckbreaker off the top for the pin. It was more exciting than it sounds here.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty fun match as Burchill kept getting frustrated but he never could put Hurricane away. The neckbreaker off the top was a big enough move to end things, but it felt kind of flat as it hit and that was it instead of building to a bigger climax for the pin. Still good though.

Burchill realizes he’s gone and gets upset.

Tiffany, the GM, is in the back when Punk comes in to remind her he’s straightedge. He’s looked into her personal life and says she likes to drink. Tiffany says she likes to have fun and Punk should try it sometime. She leaves and Punk looks at her like she suggested opening an elephant pants store.

Vance Archer vs. Johnny Andrews

Andrews is a local jobber. Reverse DDT ends this in about a minute.

Punk and Christian are in the back. Christian inquires about straightedge and wants to know if Punk has a curfew or if he can hold hands with a girl. Punk says he used to be ECW Champion. Christian says Punk is a nerd.

William Regal/CM Punk vs. R-Truth/Christian

Punk and Christian start but Christian wants Regal. Off to Truth quickly and the good guys hit stereo middle rope dropkicks to clear the ring. After a break it’s Regal vs. Truth but Regal is knocked into a tag. Punk gets kicked to the floor so Truth can dive on him. Regal pulls Truth off the apron, injuring his knee. These four will all be in a Survivor Series match on Sunday.

Punk comes in to work on the bad leg with a basic leg lock. He also manages to yell at Christian a bit which is a nice touch. Back to Regal as the beating continues. Punk misses a legdrop but still prevents the tag with a shot to the leg. Truth manages an enziguri ti Regal and it’s a double tag to bring in Christian and Punk. Tornado DDT gets two for the Canadian. GTS and Killswitch are countered and everything breaks down. Christian loads up the Killswitch but Regal hits his running knee so that the GTS can pin Christian.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as it set up the match on Sunday which is the whole idea of this show. Punk had just come off the world title run and would be about to form the Straight Edge Society in January. Other than that the match was just ok. Christian’s team would win on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. The dying days of ECW were a shame as the show was really starting to get better. With the new guys being brought in and the storylines being simplified, there wasn’t much to complain about at all. Then NXT started and the first season was awesome so I can’t complain much. Good show here, especially for a one off show. I’ll likely be starting to do ECW on SyFy from the beginning soon.

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Monday Night Raw – December 2, 2002: 500th Episode And No One Cares

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 2002
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the 500th (ish) episode of Raw. Shawn is in his final reign as world champion as he won the title in the first Elimination Chamber. HHH is of course next in line for a title shot because he’s always next in line for a title shot. That was the big criticism of this time period: way too much focus on HHH vs. Shawn and nowhere near enough elevation of new guys. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s RVD vs. Shawn title match. Rob hit the Five Star but HHH ran in and Pedigreed RVD on the floor. He also gave Shawn a backbreaker onto a chair.

Dudley Boys vs. 3 Minute Warning

We get a recap of the Dudleys stripping the tag champions (Christian/Jericho) of their clothes and then their towels. Brawl to start as the Dudleys clear the ring. A double suplex puts Rosey down but Jamal runs both of them over. Bubba and Rosey both try cross bodies and everyone is down. Double tag and here are Jamal and D-Von. Back to Bubba who pounds Jamal down.

Here’s something I really didn’t expect to see: Bubba hooks a cross armbreaker to control Jamal. D-Von works on the arm too. That’s not something you often see from the Dudleys. D-Von winds up playing Ricky Morton for a bit but he DDTs Jamal. This doesn’t work (thank goodness) as the referee misses the tag. A neckbreaker puts Rosey down and there’s the tag to Rosey. Something like a spear gets two. It looked more like a running Bossman Slam. Rico interferes and Bubba gets suplexed. Spike comes out to hit Rico and shove Jamal off the top. What’s Up Jamal but Rosey comes back in. 3D gets the pin on Rosey.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here but going eight minutes was probably a bad idea for these four. 3 Minute Warning could only be so interesting in long matches which is the problem that came up here. The Dudleys had recently reunited at this point and it really didn’t help their staleness that much.

HHH and Flair arrive.

During the break, Christian and Jericho apparently destroyed all three Dudleys. Thanks for letting us see all this stuff guys. Spike was thrown from the stage to the announce table while D-Von was put in the Walls and got a one man Conchairto.

GM Bischoff and Chief of Staff Morely say nothing of note, other than he’s now to be called Chief Morely. HHH and Flair come in and Trips is mad. He doesn’t like the idea of having to face RVD tonight because the shot at Shawn is his and the title is his. Eric says he’s been more than fair to HHH as he handed him the title. If HHH wants the title back, give him some great TV. The fans seem to agree with Bischoff. HHH promises a trainwreck. There’s going to be a guest referee to be named later.

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Trish was rapidly improving at this point. Ivory grabs the arm to start and they trade control over that for a few seconds. Clothesline gets two for Trish. Ivory hits an enziguri to take over and rips at Trish’s face. Trish gets a neckbreaker to escape and they’re both down. Chick Kick gets two. A really bad Stratusfaction gets the pin.

Rating: D. Ivory was the Divas jobber at this point and she just wasn’t any good. Trish was getting there but it was clear she wasn’t quite ready yet. Not a good match at all although Trish in leather is never a bad thing. Ivory is another of those girls that I don’t think anyone ever cared about at all.

Jackie yells at Victoria in the back and my goodness I’m actually reaching levels of caring about Jackie even lower than I thought. She beats up Victoria and they have a match later.

Video of the WWE float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Al Roker calls King Jerry the Ring Lawler.

Jericho and Christian warn the locker room to pay attention to what they just did. Nowitski congratulates them and Jericho gets a pep talk for his match with Booker later.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Jeff Hardy/Tommy Dreamer

The foreigners hurt Dreamer’s jaw and gave him a concussion. The brawl starts on the ramp and Dreamer is in his patriotic jobber shirt. Jeff runs the barricade to take them both down. Dreamer and Storm officially start and Tommy hooks a Mapleleaf on Storm. Storm gets in a kick to the head and they work over the injury. Regal comes in to do nothing of note and Storm hooks a cravate. Jeff gets a tag but there’s no referee. While he tries to comes in, Regal and Storm throw Dreamer into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D. Let’s see: Jeff was never in, the match was short, and the injury that was already established was used again. I don’t get the point of this match existing as a tag match but whatever. Jeff would kind of float around for awhile before doing anything of note. I think he was released in 2003.

The heels try to hurt Jeff’s knee but Dreamer makes the save.

Flair sucks up to Batista, telling him to show some fire.

Batista vs. The Hurricane

Flair comes out with Batista. Batista jumps him before the match as the announcers talk about the guest referee. Gee, I wonder who it’ll be between HHH and RVD in a match to decide who faces SHAWN for the title. Hurricane has bad ribs from something not important enough to tell us about. Batista Bomb ends this in about a minute.

Flair tells Batista to powerbomb him again post match but Kane comes in for the save.

Terri asks Shawn how his back is and he says he’s here. Rob comes in and says nothing of note. He’s upset about the back injury Shawn has but he wants to be repaid for his loss of a title win last week. Eric comes in and names Shawn the referee for later. If Shawn doesn’t call it fair, he’s stripped of the title.

Booker T vs. Chris Jericho

Booker makes lame jokes about Jericho before the match. Jericho takes over to start and chokes in the corner. He comes off the middle rope and misses though as Booker takes over. Side slam gets two. The side kick misses and Jericho takes over again, this time with the springboard dropkick to put Booker on the outside. Top rope elbow to the chest gets two and we hit the chinlock.

A belly to back suplex puts Booker down and Jericho does a little dance. He goes up but gets crotched and superplexed to put both guys down. Booker hits a one man flapjack for two. Jericho counters a rollup into a Walls attempt but Booker gets a rope. Jericho argues with the referee, allowing Booker to his a missile dropkick for two. There’s a slingshot into the corner and Booker kicks him in the back.

Here’s the Spinarooni but Chris breaks it up with a bulldog. Lionsault misses and Booker kicks his head off. Here’s Christian for a distraction which means nothing. Small package gets two for Booker as Goldust comes out to counteract Christian. Axe kick puts Jericho down but Chief Morely comes out and says make it a tag title match.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but it was nothing all that interesting. That’s the problem with the whole show so far: the wrestling is just ok but I don’t care about anything that’s happening here. Smackdown was the hot show at this point and it seemed that everyone here was made sure to be less interesting than HHH.

Raw Tag Titles: Booker T/Goldust vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

We come back to Goldust getting two on Christian. The champions are rammed into each other and it’s off to Booker. Now the champions get things together and take over on Booker as Goldust is with the referee. Booker avoids a running charge at the ropes to crotch Christian and here’s Goldie off the hot tag.

Shattered Dreams on Christian and Jericho’s head follows Goldie’s boot. A VERY close two off a rollup gets the crowd fired up and start a chant disagreeing with the referee. Booker kicks Jericho down and hits the Spinarooni. Jericho sleeper drops Booker for two and the Bookend gets the same. The fans are into this now. A belt shot by Chris and a Lionsault keeps the titles.

Rating: C+. The crowd got into it and I have no idea why they didn’t just change the titles here in Texas, especially considering Booker and Goldie would get the titles less than two weeks after this at Armageddon. The match was pretty much by far the best match of the night so far.

Raw Retro is the destroyed Vince Corvette. This is for the Raw 10th Anniversary Special. Oh we’ll HAVE TO get to that nonsense someday.

Test and Stacy are making out and she has a marketing idea but Test wants something else.

Jacqueline vs. Victoria

Victoria is the Women’s Champion and this is non-title. The match is happening so that Jackie, from Dallas, can get a hometown pop in Austin. We’ll ignore that Goldust, actually FROM AUSTIN, could have done the EXACT SAME THING. Jackie basically takes Victoria apart but Victoria gets in a shot and the slingshot legdrop for two. Widow’s Peak is countered into a backdrop and wins with a big kick. For the record, this is Jackie’s first singles win on Raw since FEBRUARY OF 2000. It wouldn’t lead to a title win or anything like that. Were they that stuck on keeping the tag titles on the Canadians for thirteen more days?

Stevie comes out to check on Victoria post match. Back from a break and they won’t leave until Scott Steiner comes out to clear the ring. He’s a free agent at this point. Steiner hits on Victoria and reminds her that he’s Freakzilla. She says he doesn’t have what it takes and Stevie jumps him. A suplex sends him flying as does a gorilla press. Bischoff comes out and sucks up to Steiner. He has a special gift for Scott tonight and takes him to the back where a bunch of girls are waiting. However, he has a Super Freak in the limo. And it’s Stephanie. He would sign with Raw in like a week anyway.

It’s time for RNN BREAKING NEWS!!! This was a thing that Randy Orton did which I thought was brilliant. Orton had legit injured his shoulder and no one cared because he was a goofy kid that got on people’s nerves because he was so perky and excited to be here. The idea was that they were intentionally trying to recreate DIE ROCKY DIE but it didn’t work as well. The idea of the skits is that he gives updates on his shoulder, talking about how he has an irritation because of the sling and what percent its at and he treats it like world stopping news when no one cares. It actually worked really well as a heel idea.

Of course that doesn’t happen here because JR says we have breaking news that is more important. It’s Shawn and HHH in the back with HHH saying he wants the title. Heaven forbid we didn’t get this scene. Shawn says he’ll DQ HHH for doing anything wrong.

HHH vs. Rob Van Dam

Shawn is guest referee and the winner faces him at Armageddon. Also if Shawn isn’t a good referee, he loses the title. Flair is ejected before Rob’s intro. RVD jumps him to start and hits some kicks for early control. A few kicks get two each. HHH tries the Pedigree but gets backdropped to the floor. Out to the floor and Van Dam hits the spinning kick to the barricade onto HHH’s back.

Top rope kick to the face gets two. HHH gets a jumping knee but Shawn counts very slowly for him. Rob rolls him up and gets a very fast two count. Van Dam hooks a sleeper for awhile but the split legged moonsault misses. RVD misses a cross body off the ropes and hits Shawn who is down WAY longer than he usually would. Facebuster takes Rob down and HHH gets a chair. Shawn takes it away and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder for no count. HHH clocks RVD with the chair to set up the obvious match with Shawn at Armageddon.

Rating: D. Much like the match earlier, everyone knew how this was going to end and the match was just a formality. Van dam could have been any jobber and he would have had the same chance at winning here. That would be the case for a long time on Raw: it’s about HHH and that’s it.

HHH and Shawn brawl and beat up referees to end the show. Shawn hits the superkick.

Overall Rating: F. That’ll likely be the first on many when I get to Raw in 2002. From about September 2002 until roughly Wrestlemania 21, HHH dominated things and the fact that NO ONE WANTED TO SEE IT didn’t mean anything. Evolution would form in February of 2003 and no one touched HHH other than a quick run by Goldberg and a ruined Benoit title reign. Bad show here as it seemed like no one cared in the slightest, and who can blame them?

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Monday Night Raw – June 18, 2001 – The Stalker Gers A Pop

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2001
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,264
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the go home show for King of the Ring and that’s about all we’ve got for that show. The tournament gets set tonight I think and we have a main event, but other than that I don’t remember anything being made for the card. The Invasion would get its first big name at that PPV though, so at least there’s that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is from Smackdown with Austin trying to get a petition together to present to Linda that says the triple threat is unfair. Spike ripped it up when Austin called Molly a bimbo, resulting in Spike getting a world title shot.

Dudleys/Austin vs. Canadians/Spike later. Now this is where things get confusing. That’s what the graphic says, but JR says it’s just Dudleys vs. Canadians for the titles. Oh boy. I wonder who’s getting fired over this one. Now the Dudleys would indeed get a title match later this week on Smackdown (and they’d win the belts), but that’s not what we saw on the screen.

We open with Spike and Molly of all people. Spike talks about how he’s shocked to have been in this ring and gotten to wrestle for the WWF Title and that could have been his moment in the sun. However, Austin had to go after Molly after that, so Spike calls out Austin. Heyman’s reaction is very funny.

Austin and Spike introduce themselves and Austin says he’s not going to be called out by someone like Spike. Spike says he just did and Austin starts to walk away. Spike asks the fans and they want to see it for the title. Austin still says no but says Spike has guts. No one else would, but Molly is still a bimbo. Spike: “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Molly slaps Austin and Heyman erupts. Austin looks….happy? That earned Molly respect so Austin sticks his hand out. Spike shakes it and Austin pulls him but doesn’t attack. Molly however gets a Stunner though.

During the break, the Dudleys didn’t seem mad.

Molly is getting looked at and the Dudleys show up. They praise Spike for standing up for himself. However, they want to know what’s wrong with a picture when Spike has been here three months and has gotten a title shot while they’ve gotten zero in a year and a half. Spike says he’ll do something about it.

Now the graphic says the titles are on the line in the main event. Interesting.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

This would be a TNA PPV main event today, almost 11 years later. Angle snaps off a quick German and Jeff is in trouble. He goes after the leg but Jeff speeds things up and we go to the floor where Jeff runs the railing into a clothesline. Angle hits the release German this time but the Slam is countered. A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Kurt rolls away before Jeff jumps. The moonsault is as gorgeous as ever but Kurt misses, allowing Jeff to hit the Swanton for two. Jeff goes up but gets pulled down into the ankle lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. What the heck was that??? Jeff Hardy is a midcard guy on his best day in 2001 but this was AWESOME. Well, awesome all things considered. I mean it was just a three minute match but they cranked out a very fun match here, especially when you consider where Jeff was on the ladder at this point. Jeff’s best match ever might have been with Kurt in 2010 so this isn’t really shocking.

Austin needs someone to talk to who understands him. His wife, Debra, volunteers. Austin: “I said someone that understands me.” Debra says understands about titles because she used to be champion. Austin laughs and Debra is hurt.

Tajiri and Regal are talking about the tournament which Tajiri is in when Austin enters. Spike asked for a match with him and Regal made the aforementioned six man, saying the title match will wait for tomorrow. Austin says he’ll do it but he needs someone to talk to and he picks….Tajiri? Regal is confused but goes along with it and leaves.

Tough Enough commercial. Josh Matthews is I believe the only one left from that season.

Tazz, one of the Tough Enough trainers, says that there’s a preview at WWF New York. Hardcore Holly comes up to make fun of him and a match is made.

Kane is at WWF New York…and he’s playing a crane game to win prizes. He doesn’t win so he breaks the glass and steals a bunch which he gives to a kid. You know, I watched a Raw earlier today and Kane was about to win the world title from Austin. The last thing I expected him to do was play a crane game to win prizes. Just throwing that out there.

We recap the Undertaker’s wife stalker thing with Sara being stalked. That’s about it.

Taz vs. Hardcore Holly

The entrances are cut off by a new stalker video of the stalker watching Taker and his wife leaving their house. She almost comes into what I guess is a garage where he is but doesn’t. The voice says tonight he’ll reveal himself. Back to the match. Holly starts out fast with his usual stuff and drops a top rope leg for two. Taz comes back but walks into a powerslam. And there’s the Tazmission out of nowhere to end this.

Austin explains how Linda McMahon is ruining his life. Tajiri replies in Japanese as Austin rants against women. Austin thanks him for the talk and bows to him. Regal comes in and says that Tajiri is up next. Funny stuff at least.

Christian isn’t happy that he has to face Big Show and teases tension with Edge. Angle breaks it up.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

The winner gets the winner of Edge vs. Saturn. Lillian sounded a step off on the announcing for some reason. Rhyno takes over with power but Tajiri ranas him down and they go to the floor. Back in a spinebuster gets two for Rhyno. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow which is always cool. There’s an Octopus Hold which he shifts into the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick misses and Rhyno powerbombs him half through the ring. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Tajiri KICKS HIS FREAKING HEAD OFF to counter. Tajiri goes up for some reason but jumps into a Gore for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not as good as the opener but that ending was very good stuff. There’s something awesome about seeing Tajiri just kick the tar out of people and also seeing Rhyno blast someone with a Gore. This was very entertaining and the show is on a roll to start so far.

Post break Regal GOES OFF on Regal. I mean there’s a vein coming out of his head.

Here’s Taker…..or not. It’s the Stalker as Taker is in Houston. He immediately unmasks and it’s Diamond Dallas Page to an ERUPTION. Yep they’re cheering a crazy stalker. He says Taker never saw this coming, just like a Diamond Cutter. Page talks about doing this because he wanted to make an impact, so he went after the biggest dog in the yard.

A few weeks ago, Taker went off on Austin for mentioning Taker’s family. Taker said he’d make Austin famous if he tried that. “You idiot, Steve Austin is already famous!” He says Taker is a liar for some reason so he wants to be famous and he wants to use Taker to get him there. He’ll be at King of the Ring. Security chases him off. Ross tries to tie it into the Invasion but it only kind of works.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Edge vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn is nuts still. We get a clip from a double date on Thursday and Saturn took another shot to the head. See it’s funny because he has brain damage and might go psycho and murder his wife and children before killing himself. Get it? Saturn starts fast and pops Christian but walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is in control but Saturn grabs a crucifix for two. Edge goes up but jumps into a belly to belly suplex. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. Christian gets kicked in the face and the Impaler ends Saturn.

Rating: D+. Not great but WAY down from what we had been seeing so far tonight. Edge would be about to start his singles push which didn’t really stop for the rest of his career. Saturn just kept getting hit in the face until he found a mop that he liked better than Terri and that was about it.

Vince arrives, over halfway through the show.

Foley was on Regis and…..Tony Danza?

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Albert

Albert was in the middle of pretty much the push of his life and he runs over Matt to start. A splash misses though and Matt can keep hitting and running. Matt jumps into a gorilla press attempt which he escapes and hits a running tornado DDT for two. Paul: “Albert is the Rabbi of Retribution.” JR: “Oy vey.” Albert destroys him until he chokes too long for a DQ. Weak.

Pac and Credible run in and hit a double superkick. Jeff runs in and takes them both down. Lita hits the usual gorgeous top rope rana. Albert gets back in it and destroys everyone.

Vince is with Austin and Austin feels good. Austin is getting in touch with his feelings and Vince isn’t wild on it. Austin rants about the divorce and says pick Austin or Linda.

During the break Vince left.

Spike thanks the Canadians for helping Molly last week. Benoit goes off on him, talking about how this wasn’t about him at all. And then they crack up laughing.

Edge and Rhyno get into an argument over who should be #1 contender if they win the tournament. Christian comes in and whines again.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Christian

Angle is on commentary. Christian jumps him and just guess how well that goes. Edge tries to interfere which goes about as well. Show destroys him but they go to the announce table and Angle gets shoved for running his mouth. An Angle distraction allows the Conchairto to end Show and Christian puts all of Team RECK in the final four.

Steve Austin/Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Jericho vs. Bubba to start things off. Ray uses power to start but runs into the speed of Jericho. Off to Benoit and D-Von and the Canadian hits a German on the Dudley. Spike comes in with a double stomp and a rana to have D-Von in trouble. Here comes Austin to pound on Spike. Things finally calm down as Spike remembers he’s Spike and Austin remembers he’s Austin and the beating begins.

Austin calls for some tables but isn’t happy when they come out for some reason. Back to Bubba after Austin freaks due to getting rolled up for two. Bubba loads up What’s Up and both Austin and D-Von go up at the same time. That’s rather awesome. The middle rope backsplash misses and there’s the tag to Benoit. Everything breaks down and D-Von is sent through a table by Jericho.

Dudley Dog to Bubba and it’s time for the Canadian to hit Rolling Germans on the American. The Swan Dive misses though and Austin takes over. A Dudley Dog attempt results in Spike going through a table and Austin grabs a chair. Jericho comes back in for the save and we get the insanely awesome Walls of Crossface double submission to make Austin tap. Hebner asks about 4 times before calling for the bell.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a six man main event and most importantly, it made Jericho and Benoit look like a legit threat for the championship. Until then it was a bunch of fluke victories in tag matches. This was good stuff though as Austin looked like he was about to snap in that double hold.

Overall Rating: B. With all of the good to very good matches tonight, this was a pretty awesome Raw. Throw in that with the comedy from Austin and Vince and how can you go wrong? The DDP thing would be pretty underwhelming on Sunday but that’s life. Also very little mention of Angle vs. Shane, but the focus was on the tournament so that’s ok. Good show here.

Here’s King of the Ring if you’re interested:

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Lockdown 2007 – Fire Russo! *Clap x5* Fire Russo!

Lockdown 2007
Date: April 15, 2007
Location: Family Arena, Saint Charles, Missouri
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to TNA now for a show that apparently holds the record for highest PPV attendance. This is the usual deal where everything is in a cage. The main event is Lethal Lockdown, which is their version of WarGames. The teams tonight are Team Cage vs. Team Angle which is a feud that went on forever. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about prisons. Makes sense. It shifts into a video about how deadly the main event is.

Lethal, who is pretty freshly Black Machismo, as in he started it ten days earlier, says he’s going to win the title tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Team Cage (world champion Christian Cage, Tomko, Steiner, AJ and Abyss) says they’ll win but Tomko and Abyss almost get into a fight. Christian points out that Team Angle arrived separately. They don’t like Jarrett, who is the last member of Team Angle. If any member of Team Cage gets the winning fall, they get a title shot. This turns into Steiner and Tomko arguing about Christmas.

We recap Roode vs. Young which is still going on. The idea is that Young signed a contract with Young after getting screwed by Miss Brooks. This would be probably the peak of Young’s popularity. Young talked about having a friend who would help him and Petey Williams started helping him. That’s not the friend, who would be revealed in a few weeks.

Petey Williams vs. Robert Roode

Roode is the rich dude still. Young is with Roode and gets yelled at before the match. Petey hammers away to start and controls early with speed and stomping. Springboard Codebreaker gets two. Williams does the Tree of Woe spot where he stands on Roode’s balls and sings O Canada. Roode manages to send him into the buckle to shift momentum and I remember why I never wanted to see him get a singles push.

Roode is just totally uninteresting at this point. If you think he’s boring now, today’s Roode has NOTHING on 07 Roode. A SICK clothesline puts Williams down and Eric is just kind of sitting there and doesn’t like what he’s seeing. Middle rope kneedrop gets two. Off to the chinlock. Petey makes a comeback and tries a crucifix for two but he eats cage to break that up. I don’t remember anyone else going into the cage all night until then.

Rock Bottom gets two. Brooks tries to send in a hockey stick but Young makes the save. Williams hits something that we miss as Brooks and Eric are fighting outside. Williams hits a rana back inside as the camera is from above the cage for some reason. The camera goes back to Young so AGAIN we miss whatever Petey uses for two. A dropkick doesn’t hit Roode but he goes into the corner anyway.

Despite that PAINFUL missing dropkick, Roode hits a spinebuster for two. The Canadian sitcom on the floor continues as Roode demands the hockey stick, but Petey hits a cool DDT for two. Now Petey asks for the stick and a few shots with it take Roode down. And Hebner intercepts it because we can’t have weapons in a cage or something. Rollup gets two for Williams. Destroyer is countered and the Payoff (PerfectPlex) ends this.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Young was wildly popular at this point which shows you how bad Roode was, considering even he couldn’t get over with Young out there. Roode was just so boring and uninteresting that he needed Beer Money or he would have had nothing else to do.

Roode shoves Young post match.

Angle goes to talk to Rhyno who isn’t happy. They have to change the order of entrance tonight. Rhyno doesn’t trust Jarrett but Joe REALLY doesn’t trust him, so Angle should go have this talk with Joe instead.

We recap Gail vs. Jackie. Does it really matter? There was something at Final Resolution, Jackie TALKED REALLY LOUDLY and since that’s the extent of what she does, there’s your story.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

Bob Backlund, the referee for the next match, is insane and has long fingernails. He doesn’t say he’ll call it down the line.

Austin Starr vs. Senshi

No backstory to this, because I don’t think TNA can explain it either. This went on for awhile and there was something about Kevin Nash holding a tournament which turned into a talent show and the X-Division Title was involved somehow. It made no sense and I don’t think they knew what was going on with it. I say that about a lot of stories, but this was one of the stranger ones ever.

Starr is Austin Aries who is from TV Land. See what I mean by this story making no sense? Backlund tries to keep things civil and Senshi takes over with his high impact stuff. Senshi chops him a lot Starr takes over with a back rake and suplex for two. STO sets up the pendulum elbow for two. Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab. Some more back work eats up a minute or two.

Senshi comes back with kicks to take over. Starr gets backdropped into the cage and a Capo kick gets two. Austin takes over again because guys of this style don’t particularly care for selling. He hits a powerbomb kind of move out of the corner and uses the ropes for two. Backlund gets shoved into the ropes to crotch Senshi who was setting for the Warrior’s Way. 450 gets two. Starr shoves Backlund and Bob shoves him into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine, but I just don’t care about these guys. I have no idea what the point of it was and like I said, I doubt TNA did either. This was basically any match with these two in it that you would pick out of a pile. There were some decent spots, but it came and went and I don’t care. Just not my taste at all.

Joe yells about Angle not letting him know who the fifth man (Jarrett) was. Come find him if you want Kurt. The idea is no one trusts Jeff. He tells Jeff to please cross a line with him because Joe will kill him if he does.

We recap Storm vs. Harris. Storm broke a beer bottle over Harris’ eye so he might never be able to see again. The result: a blindfold match, probably because no one ever watched Wrestlemania 7.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

They’re both under hoods so they can’t see. Now go have a cage match boys! The chant of Fire Russo starts up immediately. No contact in the first minute. Ninety seconds. Storm corners the referee at about a minute thirty five. Two minutes in and the literally pass with an inch between them. Two and a half and no contact at all. They touch at 2:37 but both miss punches so let’s try it again. Three minutes now and the fans say they want wrestling. They touch again at about 3:15 and Harris tries to go to the mat but that doesn’t work either so they stop again.

Bear in mind, when there’s no “action” going on, they’re just wandering around with their hands out trying to find each other. That’s it. That’s ALL that happens. Harris points to his head with an idea. Or is he saying put the bullet here because my career is over? Anyway he points around the ring and the crowd cheering tells him where to go. Four minutes in and Harris hits seven punches and they do it again.

They get some really basic offense in (as in a knee to the ribs is a high level move) and Harris punches Storm so hard the hood flies off. We get one of the loudest BORING chants I’ve ever heard as Storm slams him but Harris rolls away to avoid an elbow. This is literally almost spot for spot the same match as Roberts vs. Martel back in 1991. Storm’s hood comes off again (Hey Storm: you’re a heel. TAKE IT OFF AND CHEAT YOU IDIOT!) but that could be too interesting so it’s back to the crawling around.

Somehow Storm manages to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two. The crowd isn’t booing now. They’re just silent. Harris counters two more attempts at it and hits a cutter off the middle rope for two. That gets two and Storm tries to climb but Harris uses the crowd again to make a save. They fight on the top rope and Harris does something like a spear off the top for two. Harris loses his hood, hits a full nelson slam….and it gets two. Harris grabs the referee and tries a Sharpshooter on him for some reason. Storm FINALLY CHEATS, hitting the Last Call with the hood off for the pin.

Rating: S. As in Sacrifice. Watch their match at Sacrifice. It’s one of the best TNA matches I’ve ever seen whereas this was just horrible. The stipulation makes sense, but as usual it’s not something that they thought through. The match ran about ten minutes and probably eight and a half was them walking around. One of the worst matches ever, and that covers a lot. Meltzer said it was the worst match of the year and I can’t say I disagree.

Angle talks to Sting who isn’t thrilled with Jarrett either. Kurt checks to make sure they’re all on the same side and Sting says he’ll go with it, but he’ll take both of them out if Jarrett does something out of line.

Daniels does some creepy promo about his purpose or something like that. He has to sacrifice something or other.

Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Lynn jumps him as he comes in as I think this is old vs. new but they really aren’t that clear on it. Daniels gets beaten down quickly but hits a neck snap on the top to take over. Victory roll gets two for Lynn. A leg lariat puts Jerry down and the crowd is being all quiet again. To be fair they have to follow that nonsense from the previous match so it’s going to take a lot to get them back into anything.

Daniels grabs a cord from a camera to choke Jerry. The crowd is SILENT here. Tenay tries to pass it off as the fans are too confused by Daniels. Whatever makes you sleep better at night Mikey. Lynn starts a comeback and sends Daniels into the cage. Rana gets two. DDT gets the same. This match needs to end soon. Daniels backdrops him into the cage but Lynn gets a quick cradle piledriver attempt.

Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Lynn rolls out of the way. Facejam gets two. The crowd is trying to get into it but it’s really not happening. They both go up top and Daniels hits a Downward Spiral off the top. They exchange near falls and the fans suddenly think this is awesome. I’m not sure that’s what I’d say but whatever. They go up top again where Angels’ Wings and Cradle Piledriver attempts fail. Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) ends this back in the ring.

Rating: C. Yeah whatever. Anyone that has read one of my TNA reviews before knows I don’t care for Daniels and this is no exception. The match wasn’t bad but it was just a match. The lack of a story is really hurting things here because I don’t know why these two hate each other. That and the cage is getting old.

Team 3D says they’ll win their first titles in TNA. They have a WCW tag title and a WWF tag title each. It’s an electrified steel cage match against LAX. Bubba does the talking (of course) and says tonight they win their 20th tag titles.

Quick recap video for the tag title match. Basically it’s an electrified cage match because that’s how it is at the border. Konnan’s idea, not mine.

LAX says the violence goes up tonight. Konnan is in a wheelchair at this point.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

Angle yells at JB for suggesting that calling Jarrett was an act of desperation. Team 3D’s music is still playing because they almost immediately cut away. That’s a running thing in TNA: it’s like they’re always running behind schedule.

We recap Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames which I’m not going to explain again. Basically it’s Christian as champion and Angle wants it. Whoever gets the fall here, wins the title shot I believe. Also Jarrett is there because Angle couldn’t find anyone else. He was totally evil before he left for a few months, but Angle vouches for him. Abyss isn’t sure if he wants to be on Christian’s team but he was basically forced to due to a threat of violence against his mother. No one thought Angle had 5 guys but Sting and Jarrett showed up to fill out the team. No one trusts Jarrett other than Angle though.

Harley Race will be keeping the key.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner
Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Two people start for five minutes, Team Cage gets the advantage for two minutes, after everyone is in the roof with weapons lowers, first fall wins and gets a shot at Christian at Sacrifice. AJ vs. Angle to start. AJ is still kind of an idiot at this point. He tries to take it to the mat but Angle is like boy please. Pretty much just feeling each other out so far to start. Angle goes into something made of steel and AJ stomps away. Off to the chinlock as they’re saving energy for later in the match. Kurt pops off an Angle Slam out of nowhere as the clock runs down.

Abyss is out second and Angle is in trouble. Shock Treatment to Angle and things go really slowly. Remember that there are two minute periods from now on. With really nothing happening in that period, here’s Rhyno who has to pose on the ramp before going to help his partner. He cleans house for awhile and hits a clothesline to take Abyss down. Angle is back up now so it’s a bit more balanced. Tomko comes out to make it 3-2.

The drug addict goes after the guy with alcoholic tendencies and the bearded one wins. Rhyno is busted. Joe comes in third. A lot of these periods are just coming and going with nothing interesting happening at all. Joe beats up Abyss while everyone else is kind of standing around. Down goes Tomko but AJ gets in a shot. MuscleBuster puts AJ down and Tomko takes Rolling Germans. Abyss gets caught in Joe’s Clutch as Steiner comes in to make it 4-3.

Just like the rest of the periods, he beats up all of the partners and hits what he calls the Frankensteiner on Rhyno. Other than that it’s all belly to belly suplexes. Sting comes in to tie it up. Death Drop to Abyss, Splash to Steiner, Splash to Abyss, Splash to Tomko/Styles. AJ tries to climb but Joe chases him, resulting in a SIX MAN TOWER OF DOOM. Ok that was awesome. Deathlock to Steiner but Tomko breaks it up. Christian is the final member of his team to make it 5-4.

Chops don’t work on Sting so Christian gets beaten down. Does no one watch Flair matches? Sting beats up Christian for a few moments and puts the Deathlock on him. Here’s Jarrett to fire off dropkicks for everyone and a Stroke for AJ. The roof is lowered. Everyone stands up and it’s a five on five brawl, rendering the first 21 minutes of this match totally useless.

Jarrett gets a bat but throws it to Sting. Rhyno gets a garbage can in the same method. Total dominance at this point by Team Angle. AJ gets the bat and clubs everyone not named Angle. AJ goes up through a hole in the roof to the top of the cage for some reason. Angle follows him up and Mitchell gives Abyss bags of tacks. Race pops Mitchell for his efforts and the crowd really doesn’t seem to care about this match.

Rhyno gores Tomko through the door as AJ and Angle try not to die by falling off the top of the cage. AJ cracks Angle in the head with a chair and Rhyno goes to the floor also. Steiner goes outside too and Joe dives onto Tomko. There are only four left in the cage. Abyss lays out the tacks but can’t chokeslam Sting and Jarrett at the same time.

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This was more or less every Lethal Lockdown match you’ll ever see: there are too many people in the ring, the periods don’t mean anything until the end, and the match is pretty dull until the last five minutes. Still though it’s fun and it does what it’s supposed to do, which is all you can really ask for.

Sting, Rhyno and Joe shake Jarrett’s hand but Angle walks away as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t totally worthless and awful, but there’s a lot more bad than good on it. The worst two matches, the blindfold and electric matches, are by far the worst with the blindfold one being one of the worst I’ve ever seen. The pretty good main event doesn’t save it and by the time you’ve sat through two and a half hours of drek, the good opener is long forgotten. Not the worst show ever, but it’s certainly not worth watching.

 

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EOTY Awards – Match of the Year

This isn’t much of a surprise.Since everyone knows that this is Cena vs. Punk at MITB, I’ll talk about some of the other commonly named matches.

 

Orton vs. Christian – Smackdown.  This was by far and away the feud of the year for reasons i’ve already gone into.  This was probably my favorite of them, although you really can’t go wrong anywhere.

 

HHH vs. Taker.  Why is this on everyone’s list?  It’s not a bad match but for the life of me, I don’t get where everyone gets this idea that it was some masterpiece.  It needed to be about ten minutes shorter and THEN it’s a great match.  Way too much laying around when we’re all just waiting on Taker to win.  There was no drama for me here at all, especially with the HHH Tombstone.  Answer this: when has anyone not named Kane had success tombstoning Undertaker?  It’s a running joke.

 

Your picks/thoughts?