We don’t have much to work with this time as there haven’t been a lot of matches announced.  Here’s what I’ve got for the main events though.I’ll hope Henry gets the win over Orton as it’ll keep him in this roll he’s on.  We haven’t had a true monster heel in forever and a win over Orton is a great way to get him going.  It’ll be a nice touch as faces control the title way too often.

Cena probably retains but I have very little confidence there.  Punk or Del Rio would be the best choice but I see very little reason for this to be in the cage.  A regular match would be fine and the Cell being 2 weeks after NOC isn’t going to pop buyrates like they think.

Also Beth to get the title, Air Boom to keep the tag titles (assuming it happens) and Christian to steal a win over Sheamus.

Your picks?

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re in the Mark Henry Era here on Smackdown which is still weird to hear. It’s 9 days before Hell in a Cell which is still stupid to hear as we’re five days past the previous PPV. Orton has already said he’s cashing in his rematch in the Cell which is a stretch but it’s the only match they have given the circumstances. There isn’t much else to say about this show so let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is rain when you’re supposed to be having a vacation.

We open with everyone at ringside and Johnny Ace in the ring, drawing a lot of boos. HHH isn’t here tonight so he’s brought out everyone to talk about the issues HHH has caused. He mentions the firings and says that he’s changed his mind and HHH hasn’t lost control. On Monday he saw determination in HHH’s eyes so everything is cool. HHH will be here later.

Ace brings out Henry. Henry says it took him 15 years to win the title and he’s not going to lose it for 15 more years. He calls out various people for not believing in him and here’s HHH. Nice to see that they let Ace have a full assembly since HHH was five minutes late. Henry won’t shake HHH’s hand. Well to be fair he has the mic in one hand and the belt in the other. He does hand the boss the mic though.

Before the Game can say anything, here’s Christian to interrupt. I guess he brought his own mic. He sucks up to HHH and says he appreciates how Smackdown has been treated. Christian talks about how he’s more marketable than Henry. He asks if you can picture Henry’s face on a box of cereal. I’d eat that. Christian asks for one more match and says you know who is going to choke in his match.

HHH talks about how he’s in charge in a scary calm voice. Later on tonight there’s going to be a lumberjack match with Christian vs. You Know Who (Voldermort?), presumably for the title with the winner facing Orton at Hell in a Cell. Shouldn’t that be the other way around? Why does the champion have to qualify for the title match at the PPV? HHH leaves and Henry gets in Christian’s face, sending the Canadian scampering.

Sheamus vs. Heath Slater

Cole calls it Ronald McDonald vs. the girl from Wendy’s. My money is on the Burger King in a run-in. Sheamus pounds him down and hits those forearms to the chest in the ropes to a nice reaction. Slater fires back with a neckbreaker for two and pounds away a bit. He slaps Sheamus in the back of the head and I’ll give you two guesses as to what happens next. Powerslam, top rope shoulder, Brogue Kick, 4:32.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but Slater’s selling made up for some of the boring factors of it. Sheamus might be the next challenger for Henry which could be interesting as the big brawls they have haven’t had a clean winner either time so it might be worth watching. Slater is officially a jobber to the stars and that’s what he’s best at.

Christian tries to get Khali’s help in the title match later. After a big rant about how Khali would want to face a small person, Khali’s response is “you are small.”

Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel

Booker calls Barrett a British nobleman and a former bare knuckle pugilist. Barrett beats Gabriel down quickly and the fans are almost silent. Gabriel avoids and shot and we head to the floor with Gabriel hitting a pretty sweet front flip dive over the top to take out Barrett. The kicks take Barrett down but he breaks up the 450 and Wasteland ends this at 2:32. That wasn’t quite a squash but it was a pretty quick pin for Barrett.

Orton vs. Rhodes tonight….again.

Orton says he doesn’t want to comment about Rhodes. He talks about where he’s in 9 days and when he comes back, he’ll have the World Heavyweight Championship.

Video on how evil the Cell is.

Christian tries to recruit Big Zeke and insults him. Just like with Khali, Christian leaves thinking he has a partner.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

I forgot how good looking Kaitlyn can be. She starts with Nattie and this goes badly for Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn gets in a shot to Beth and brings in AJ who does a bit better. Shining Wizard gets two and everything breaks down. Beth is against someone not named Kelly though so the Glam Slam ends this at 2:04. More or less just a squash.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Cody is sent to the floor quickly by a fired up Orton. Orton has a bad left knee but because he’s intelligent, he doesn’t tape it up. Cody goes after it anyway so it wasn’t successful but he tried at least. The knee goes around the post and Rhodes unhooks a buckle. Using the distraction Cody gets in a shot to the head with the mask for two. Orton clocks him with the mask at 3:28 for a DQ, even though it’s been established that the mask is legal.

Rating: C-. Not much to say here as the whole point was for the beatdown that’s coming post match but probably will be edited out. More on that in a minute. The psychology here at least made sense as Rhodes went after the injured body part. It sounds simple but how many people just don’t get that idea? Anyway this was too short to mean much but it wasn’t bad while it lasted.

Post match Orton goes crazy and beats down Cody with his usual stuff. Now what you won’t see is the ending of this beating. Orton pounded away on Cody with the mask and whatever else he could find. He hit Rhodes with the bell, and this was the result:

http://i52.tinypic.com/2mnorj9.jpg

From a friend that was at the show, that was hardway and the announce table was covered in blood.

Christian offers Sheamus a potato because he’s Irish. It’s a peace offering for Sheamus to help him later in the show. Christian offers him the first shot and Sheamus says Christian can count on him. Christian leaves and Sheamus bites into the potato and spits it out, saying it’s from Idaho and not Ireland.

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Khali has the happy music back and gets a decent pop on his entrance. Mahal says lay down and Khali shakes his head no. The Plunge doesn’t work and Mahal gets a DDT to take over. Khali fights back with clotheslines and the Plunge ends this at 2:05. This wasn’t much.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This one has blonde hair so he’s the real one. When they’re near each other, the easiest way to tell is the fake one is taller. They shake hands so it’s pretty clear that he’s a good guy. We talk about how Bryan has fallen off a bit since winning MITB. He grabs a surfboard but Cara makes the rope. An enziguri puts Bryan down and Booker talks about how Cara has black marks on his boots. Josh says Booker said the same thing about the other one last week so Booker is a little confused.

Cara tries a Tajiri elbow and it looks like it’s edited for a botch. Out to the floor with Cara hitting a rana off the apron to send Bryan into the steps. Back in and Cara goes up but is shoved off by…Sin Cara. The impostor kicks Bryan in the head and hits a bit Swanton Bomb for the pin at 3:00. That one had more torque on it than any one Jeff Hardy has done in years.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t anything great but some of Cara’s high spots were cool, especially the swanton which was really cool looking. I’m still not sure where Bryan is supposed to go after all this but maybe a heel turn or something is coming up for him. I don’t think he’s holding the case until Mania but it’s a nice thing for a possibility.

Christian knocks on Orton’s door and Ryder comes out. The Canadian tries to recruit Ryder but he says it would be a conflict of interest. Ryder’s phone rings and it’s Hugh Jackman. Orton is in on…something. Christian leaves without knocking again.

Air Boom vs. Usos

Bourne starts with Jey (he has the chest tattoo) but it’s off to Jimmy who hits a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Booker talks about being in Harlem Heat and Bourne gets beaten down as is his custom. Kofi gets the hot tag and hits the top rope chop but Jimmy sends him into the corner. The cross body hits and it’s Trouble in Paradise time. Jey breaks it up, letting Jimmy hit a superkick to put Kofi down. Trouble in Paradise sets up Air Bourne for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to argue with a pair of high fliers against some Samoans. That’s old school style and it worked fine here. Air Boom is getting some traction and I’m hoping they have a lengthy reign with them. I like the speed teams like them and as odd as it sounds, having a name has helped them a lot. Fun little match and I still don’t get how Kofi can jump that high.

Raw ReBound eats up about three minutes and it’s only about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Mark Henry

This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. At least two of the NXT rookies are at ringside plus Watson. Make that all three of them are there. Henry looks sad during Big Match Intros. The bell rings after a break and Christian wants to run but doesn’t want to run at O’Neil, Kingston and Bryan. Christian can’t do anything with Henry so Mark throws him to the floor. Big Zeke says for everyone to stay back then knees Christian in the ribs.

Henry throws Christian into the air like on a backdrop but lets Christian crash down. Off to the nerve hold and then a bear hug. Christian pounds away with all of the offense he can get in, culminating in a middle rope dropkick to put Henry down. He shoves Christian off with ease and Christian is scared. Killswitch is broken up and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner but Henry drops down, only to hit mat. They head to the floor and Henry shoves all the faces around when they jump on him. Christian tries to run but Sheamus pops up to throw him back in for the World’s Strongest Slam to end things at 6:19.

Rating: C+. I know I’ve used that grade a lot tonight but this was the kind of win Henry needed: Christian isn’t losing anything here and Henry looks dominant going into the Cell with his first successful title defense. I have no idea what the point of the lumberjacks were here and Sheamus tossing him back in could have worked fine in a regular match. Good logic here though.

Post match Orton comes out to fight Henry and dropkicks him to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With eight matches on a show and nothing being bad plus almost everything having a purpose, it’s hard to say this wasn’t at least a good show. It’s not a great show or anything but for a period where almost everything is a transitional show towards the HIAC PPV, that’s all you can do really. This was a good show, but having two weeks to set up a PPV is way too short, especially with not a ton of time to set up the last one.

Results
Sheamus b. Heath Slater – Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel – Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Swanton Bomb
Air Boom b. The Usos – Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian – World’s Strongest Slam

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2011
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Booker T

It’s the final show before Night of Champions and other than the IC Title I think we’re all set for Sunday. I haven’t heard anything announced for tonight but it almost has to be better than Raw was. Orton vs. Henry will get pushed even more and to their credit I’m kind of interested in seeing how that match plays out, which is something I never would have bet on when it was announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with the return of Edge who gets the monster hometown boy pop. He’s here tonight to host the Cutting Edge with Henry and Orton. Edge talks about missing coming through the curtain and it feels good to be back. It feels better to be back here in his hometown of Smackdown. He misses being in the ring and competing and being in the back with his friends however more than anything he misses the fans.

Edge talks about having the Cutting Edge tonight and he won’t pull any punches. That’s later though. Right now….and here’s Cody to cut him off. Cody says Edge is probably here to talk about Haven which airs tonight on SyFy after Smackdown (Cody’s plug, not mine) but since Edge didn’t do that, it sounds like he’s sucking up to the people. He suggests the fans all need paper bags.

Edge says maybe it’s Cody that needs a bag instead of the people. Maybe it’s Cody that is ugly and disfigured. Cody says the last time he saw Edge he was walking out of Mania as world champion but Cody has become IC Champion since then and has gotten rid of DiBiase. Also he beat Orton on Monday. Cody pulls out a bag for Edge and says to take it home and put it in his office because it’s a reminder that Cody is the new face of Smackdown. Edge hands it back, saying Cody needs it more.

Cody says that makes no sense. Edge says no it doesn’t and neither does the idea that Dusty fathered him. That’s rather true. Edge goes to leave but Cody screams to have the music cut off. Cody FREAKS, shouting about how he’s better than the crowd and he’s going to give the crowd paper bags. “You need a bag. You need a bag. You need two bags.” Then a fan with a bag punches him and takes his bag off to reveal Ted DiBiase. Ted beats him up and beats down the baggers as well. Ted’s music plays as Cody leaves. I guess that’s the IC Title match. Good intensity from Ted.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This is the rematch from a few weeks ago where Cara beat down Bryan post match. Bryan says Cara can be all aggressive tonight and he’ll be fine with it. Bryan charges straight at him with a flying knee and Cara is in trouble early. He tries another charge though and Cara gets a shot in to block the suicide dive. Cara sends him to the floor and Bryan is holding a lot of parts in pain.

After a break we have Cara holding a leg lock on Bryan. A flying headbutt to a standing Bryan gets two. Booker: “You can see the anger in Cara’s eyes.” Cole: “HE’S IN A MASK!” Cole 1, Booker 0. Cara tries another dive but jumps into a knee and here comes Danny. Big kick gets two. They go to the corner and Cara gets him in the tree of woe where he stomps away. I mean he stomps a lot. He stomps so much that it’s a DQ at 5:00 shown of 8:30.

Rating: C. Not their best but this was still pretty good. The idea was that Cara was out to injure him instead of being a competitor which is a good change in his heel turn. Bryan at least has something to do but I’d like him to move on to a feud with someone a bit higher up on the card. Maybe that’s coming though.

Cara keeps up the beating until….Sin Cara comes down for the save. There are two Sin Caras and one leaves, I think the imposter.

Ryder doesn’t think Henry can stand next to Orton without attacking him. Teddy implements another no contact order for the Cutting Edge. Ryder has to go tell them. He leaves and Aksana comes in. She gives Teddy a massage, involving him bending over and saying how good it feels. Trish comes in and says she’s been there before. And that’s it.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Total squash, Glam Slam ends it in 1:15. There’s nothing else to say here. Beth says the time is ticking on Kelly.

Video on Sheamus who is Irish and awesome. This is set to a song which says Too Many Lies but in a slower/more rock style.

Edge and Trish are having a chat about MMA/yoga gloves or something like that. Christian comes up to make it a more Canadian party. Christian has been calling him a lot and Captain Charisma says Edge might have cost him the title. They hug and everything seems cool. He asks Edge to put in a good word with Teddy to get one more match for the title and Edge is like dude, seriously? Edge says Christian is whining again and Christian storms off. Ryder pops up and tells Edge to pass along the messages to Orton and Henry.

Wade Barrett/Christian vs. Justin Gabriel/Sheamus

Barrett has the coat again. Sheamus has new music which is a rockier song. Wait maybe he doesn’t. It sounds different at the beginning but maybe I’m crazy. Sheamus runs them both down pre match with his now usual Irish folk stuff. The former Nexus guys get us going. We talk about Gabriel going bungee jumping as he speeds things up. He tries a springboard move but jumps into a Bossman Slam (Booker: “Big Bubba Rogers!”).

Off to Christian who pounds away on Gabriel and gets a small package and clothesline for two each. Back to Barrett while Cole makes fun of Booker for being a boxing fan. Booker is going to be getting his own WWE.com show soon. Gabriel fires off the kicks but Barreett powers him down again. Sheamus hasn’t been in yet. Christian whips Gabriel back into the heel corner as we take a break.

Back with Gabriel getting beaten down again but grabs an STO on Christian. A double tag brings in Barrett and Sheamus to a big reaction. The Great White (again their terms and not mine) goes up but Christian grabs his foot. That doesn’t work long either as Barrett takes the big shoulder. Christian escapes the Celtic Cross and a Brogue Kick takes Barrett down so that the 450 can end him at 7:05 shown of 10:35.

Rating: C+. This was fine and a nice way to make Sheamus look dominant while not having him really get his hands on Christian yet. That seems like a smaller version of when HHH kept trying to Pedigree Stephanie or when 911 kept wanting to chokeslam Fonzie for you ECW fans out there. Granted it’ll be a much smaller scale.

Sheamus calls Christian into the ring but he bails. Sheamus’ music is the same here so I guess I was hearing things earlier.

Great Khali vs. Heath Slater

I’m really not seeing the One Man Southern Rock Band going anywhere. Much like the Divas earlier, what are you expecting here? Mahal comes out partway through it and speaks whatever language that is and then comes in for the DQ at 1:12.

Khali fights them off but can’t hit the Plunge on Mahal. He beats up Slater instead.

Raw recap eats up about 4-5 minutes.

Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth

Miz and Truth freestyle on the way to the ring. Ok Truth does and Miz shouts YOU SUCK at the right times. They start fast with Truth beating Bourne down pretty easily. Kofi and Miz are on commentary here. Miz makes fun of Kofi wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Kofi gets a good comeback with “You see this championship title right here? Because of this, this is how a champion dresses.” That’s something that needs to be done more often: talk about how the title means you’re the best.

Bourne fires off some kicks and a low hurricanrana which drives Truth’s head into the mat. He sets for Air Bourne but lands on his feet. Truth kicks the leg and hits that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 1:54. That’s a pretty definitive loss for a champion two days before a title match but it makes the challengers look like a real threat. I’ve heard that move is called What’s Up so we’ll go with that.

Time for the Cutting Edge and Edge doesn’t even get a full entrance? Whatsupwitdat? Edge talks about how important Toronto is to him and how he was at Mania 6 and how he won his first title in WWE here in Toronto also. The guests are Henry and Orton so here they are. Remember that while the Cutting Edge is on, there’s no contact allowed or the match is off.

Edge says that’s probably a good thing for Orton to be honest because Henry has been running through people. He asks Orton if Orton believes he can beat Orton. Orton brings up a good point in that Henry has never attacked him when he’s fresh and maybe that’s because Henry knows his best isn’t good enough. Randy doesn’t think he can beat Henry. He knows he can.

Edge says that’s the truth and brings up that Henry has never won a world title and doesn’t know how that’s possible. Getting to a world title means reaching a new level and Edge isn’t sure if Mark can reach that level. Henry says the only reason he’s letting Edge walk out is because Edge is right. He’s seen smaller guys, such as Edge, win countless titles. I thought 30 was a very countable number but that’s just me.

Henry is done smiling and showing personality and is here to take what Orton has. Orton says the match Sunday will sum up Henry’s career: he’ll look good but he’ll be the world’s strongest failure. They stare it down but Edge says to remember the no contact rule. He leaves and Edge says the Cutting Edge is now over.

Orton jumps Henry and gets him down to one knee but Teddy sends out the locker room to break it up. Henry gets in some shots and both guys break free of the others at one point. Orton fights them off (they’re holding him, not attacking him) but runs into the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry adds a splash and make it a pair. He stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This grade is going to fluctuate considering how you look at the show. If you looked at it as a regular show, it was pretty weak. If you looked at it as a go home show, this was pretty solid stuff. I really want to see Orton vs. Henry now because while I have a hunch who will win, I’m really not sure and it could go either way.

On the Raw side, I flat out do not care about Cena vs. Del Rio because they haven’t given me a reason to care. Beth looked dominant, the tag champions are in trouble and I think it’s pretty safe to assume Ted gets the IC Title shot. That’s a pretty good use of two hours so I’ll call this a solid go home show.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Sin Cara via DQ when Cara wouldn’t let Bryan out of the corner
Beth Phoenix b. AJ – Glam Slam
Sheamus/Justin Gabriel b. Christian/Wade Barrett – 450 to Barrett
Great Khali b. Heath Slater via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered
R-Truth b. Evan Bourne – What’s Up

Rebellion 2001
Date: November 3, 2001
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,612
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I continue my war on Europe here with the next to last European PPV, Rebellion 2001. This is at the very tail end of the Alliance era so the main event is Austin vs. Rock for the title. Well you can’t say they’re giving us a weak main event. This card actually looks great on paper, but I’ve been fooled by stuff like that before. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Austin vs. Rock. Could it be about anything else? A lot of the audio clips are from the Mania buildup also which is fine. Ross doesn’t exactly seem huge on being here tonight. There’s a WCW Title match tonight with Angle, who just joined the Alliance, challenging Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge

This is in a cage. Well you can’t say they’re starting slowly here. Christian is European Champion here and Edge is IC Champion. Christian won his title the Tuesday before this in America. In other words, the Canadian won the European Title in America but isn’t defending the European Title in Europe against a Canadian but will when he gets back to America. Well it was the WORLD Wrestling Federation.

They’re still brothers at this point. Christian tries to run early on which gets him nowhere. Why couldn’t this be on that Inside the Steel Cage thing I watched recently? Edge misses a spear and his shoulder hits the post. It’s pin, submission or escape here. Back breaker gets two for Christian. It’s weird seeing him in the shirt and with long hair still.

Ross says Edge has spent more time on the canvas than Rembrandt. The match has been going on less than five minutes and he’s already busting out the metaphors. Christian almost gets out but Edge makes the DIVING, yes DIVING I say, save. Almost all Christian here. And of course as I say that Edge gets a release Gordbuster from the middle rope and a cross body for two.

And we hit the chinlock for awhile now. Ross: we would never be argumentative. Paul: I disagree with that. Funny stuff. Another good one: Ross: you never praised Christian this much before he joined the Alliance. Paul: we weren’t paying him then. These two are awesome together. Edge gets a spear out of NOWHERE to put Christian down but he can’t capitalize.

Edgecution gets two. I still like that better as a finisher than the Spear. Edge-O-Matic gets less than three as well. They slug it out and Christian eats cage. Christian gets one leg over the top and that’s about it. In a very fun ending, Christian gets most of the way out as in he needs to drop to get out.

Edge grabs his boots and crotches him against the cage. He takes the tape off his wrists and ties Christian’s boots together and climbs out to win it. That was a nice little ending and it worked much better than most of the other generic endings you usually get. Also nice to see an escape rather than a stupid pin or something.

Rating: C. Pretty basic stuff here but the crowd was into it and things went pretty well here, especially considering it’s not like this is anything special outside of a big house show. The ending really helped it out a lot. A good ending like that can work wonders for something like this and it certainly did here.

We recap Angle joining the Alliance which wound up being a ploy by Vince to make the WWF Team win at Survivor Series.

Chavo is interviewing the Divas tonight. Bill DeMott comes up and says that HE is doing that tonight. These two were fired from the Alliance and were doing some weird fired angle that went nowhere. They’ll do the interviews tonight apparently. Trish has no shirt on and they get all nervous. She suggests they talk to Lita. More on this later I guess. Great.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Hurricane

Heyman’s intro for Hurricane is great stuff. Basic stuff to start so far with nothing really going on early on. Hurricane (Gregory/Shane Helms) is in the Alliance here. This is just going nowhere at all. The bulldog to set up the Worm is blocked. Crowd is more or less dead here. Helms gets a Blockbuster for two.

We get what’s called a Ne-Han in No Mercy from the Hurricane. You cross the other guy’s arms in an X shape and pull back on them like a camel clutch. And then Hurricane lets it go to put on his cape. And so much for that as Scotty gets a DDT and both guys are down. and both guys are down. Kick by Scotty gets two.

Hurricane does a Worm of his own which doesn’t work. Chokeslam gets two. A rollup with ropes gets two. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked into the bulldog and there’s the Worm. I hate that move. Since it’s a chop to the neck after the other guy has forever to get better, it gets the in.

Rating: D. This match sucked. It was just boring on all accounts and the fans could tell. This should have been a dark match so of course they let it go on the actual show. Scotty was over for absolutely no apparent reason. This went nowhere at all and was boring beyond belief. Also, the freaking Worm got the pin. Get on to something else.

Trish tries to get the fired dudes the interview with Lita. She’s in her underwear and looks VERY good in her yellow thong. She throws them out.

DDP is the way too happy guy at this point. He thinks England is way too depressed. Sweet goodness Vince never got this guy at all.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Big Show

Make this quick. The only good thing about their match at Starrcade was the ending. It has to be better here right? Also get Page his Nirvana knockoff song. Show is in the one piece swimsuit here. Show goes straight at him and Page is in trouble. Heyman wants to know why Show doesn’t pick on someone his own size. That would be because there is no one his own size according to JR.

Ross talks about Show’s weight in stones. Heyman says at least as much as Richards and Jagger combined. The commentary has been awesome tonight. DDP goes for the leg to take him down for a change. He gets kind of a jumping fist off the top which is supposed to be a clothesline. Figure four is blocked by Show. Chokeslam is blocked into the Diamond Cutter for no cover because Page is down but eventually gets two. Chokeslam ends it soon thereafter.

Rating: N/A. Boring match that was more or less a squash. When the Diamond Cutter gets two, you know DDP is dead. This went nowhere at all for the most part and at least it was short.

Post match Page says that wasn’t a bad thing but rather a good thing because now he gets to leave England.

The fired dudes go in and Molly has no mask but is in her superhero outfit. She’s mad that they saw her without her cape. These segments suck and hard.

Shane is talking to Austin, Angle and Debra. They shouldn’t be worried about Survivor Series bur rather tonight. The table they’re at is round and you know the lines Angle is going to use. Shane is Merlin. When Angle got way into stuff he was hilarious.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

The Dudleyz have the belts here. And remember, D-Von is the weak one. This is under elimination rules. No Stacy here with the Dudleys which is a shame as she looked awesome in those camo shorts. The Hardys were on the verge of having some problems. Bubba vs. Matt starts us off. Ok so there is more or less ZERO reason for the APA to tag in to start right?

Bubba looks odd for some reason. I think it’s the lack of wrist tape. Bradshaw in now vs. Matt. The fans boo which they claim is due to Matt getting beaten down but I’m not so sure on that one. Are you sure it’s not due to the show kind of sucking? The APA beats up Jeff as the fans want tables. It should be noted that one of the six guys here ever wrestled in WCW and he’s also the one that has most recently appeared on WWE Television.

They’re just killing time here to get one of the teams, likely the APA, out. Fallaway Slam to D-Von from the middle rope gets no cover. The Hardys go to the floor for a bit leaving Farooq in trouble. They run in just in time to hit a Twist of Fate on Farrooq to end him and get us down to the predictable tag match.

D-Von gets out some tables to a huge face pop. Jeff gets a nice baseball slide to take him out as the table is driven into his face. It turns into the basic match between these two which while ok isn’t anything special. They talk about Lennox Lewis fighting D-Von or something like that. Heyman really likes talking about the Dudleys and their resume.

Now we’ll talk about Angle vs. Jericho as there is nothing that hasn’t been said about these teams already I suppose. Jeff crotches Bubba on the top and gets a rana for two. D-Von and Matt both come in with Matt naturally taking control. Poetry in Motion to Bubba and then to D-Von. The Swanton misses D-Von though and Matt walks into a bad 3D to retain.

Rating: D+. And so what? I mean seriously, who cares at this point? These teams feuded for so long and so many times that it got boring beyond belief to watch them fight again and again. I think the Dudleys beat them in a cage match at Survivor Series which was the final match between them. APA had no business being there so they were there anyway. Nothing special here at all.

Don’t try this at home. Try it away from home though.

Heyman is in Dudley glasses.

We see some stuff of Jericho accidentally hitting Rock which cost them a tag match. It’s not like this match is happening anytime soon or that they’re fighting tonight. We’re just trying to waste some time.

Vince is talking to Jericho and Rock is apparently on the other side of him. He wants them to bury the hatchet so they can beat the Alliance. They need to get along tonight. Why do they need to get along tonight? Who cares I guess, but Vince orders it so be it. They shake hands and Jericho says try not to lose another big one. Rock says he has something Jericho can take to the ring with him and drills him before a bunch of suits break it up.

Tajiri vs. William Regal

Before we get started Regal says he’s their role model. He makes fun of David Beckham and Man U. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion at this point. DANG Tajiri could throw some kicks. Regal gets into a grappling match where of course he’s going to dominate. This isn’t much more than a midcard match but at least they had been feuding recently so this makes sense. Regal gets a modified Tazmission more or less on Tajiri who comes back anyway.

Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Tajiri gets crotched on the top rope as Regal keeps control. He chops the living heck  out of Regal as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. Missile dropkick gets two. Handspring elbow hits to pop the crowd a bit. Tarantula hooks Regal and Tajiri goes up for the moonsault and crashes. Regal Stretch ends it immediately afterwards.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here with Tajiri having maybe a minute of offense total. This was more filler which they’ve been spacing apart pretty badly so far tonight. This went nowhere as did the feud due to the whole Alliance thing dying off soon after this. They were better as a comedy tag team.

Tajiri spits mist in his face post match.

Angle runs down British fans and makes fun of the name Y2J. This involves singing the Mickey Mouse Club song.

WCW World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle

Well this should be awesome. That big old WCW belt looks great on Jericho. Angle is the US Champion apparently. It’s still the old belt design which I actually like less than the current one which isn’t typical for me. They hit the mat almost immediately with Jericho throwing punches and forearms, making this almost like an MMA fight, at least in spirit.

Spinwheel kick takes down Angle for no cover. Three Amigos hit before they have a name. Walls can’t hook on so Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send Angle to the floor. Jericho follows and chops the heck out of Angle. Back in the ring and Angle almost gets the ankle lock. Angle’s shoulder eats post. Well not really as there’s no opening there or anything but you get the concept.

Angle gets the momentum and starts busting out the suplexes. He goes for the Walls as we begin the countdown to Jericho hooking the ankle lock on him. Angle can’t get it anyway so it’s not like it really matters. We hit the chinlock as the fans are WAY behind Jericho here. How un-American they are indeed. Jericho gets a rolling cradle for two.

And then back to the chinlock as they’re kind of wasting time here. Enziguri counters the ankle lock and everyone other than the referee is down. Jericho cranks it up a bit and gets a rana for two. Yep I was right. Jericho rolls through a victory roll and grabs the ankle lock. A rope is grabbed shortly thereafter anyway so it’s not like it meant anything. Rolling Germans have Jericho in trouble.

There’s the real ankle lock but Jericho counters into the Walls. Lionsault eats knees though and it’s Angle Slam time. So much for that though as Angle gets rolled up for the pin and Jericho retains. How often do you see a clean finish between these two? I can’t think of one with about as limited thinking as possible.

Rating: B-. Nothing that special here but it was ok for the most part. These two always work well together for the most part and they had a decent match here. I still don’t like the way it sounds when they say this was for the WCW Title as that always sounded really odd. Decent match but they’ve had better.

Angle beats up Jericho after the match.

Cole asks how Rock can focus on Jericho. Rock calls him a great journalists. Thank goodness he doesn’t remember that line. And so much for that as Rock implies that Cole is gay. To be fair he says it doesn’t matter. Solid Rock promo here as always and dare I say, vintage?

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold in an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Post match Trish hits Stacy with a horrible bulldog.

We recap Rock vs. Austin which is more or less billed as a Mania rematch which isn’t true but whatever. It’s more Alliance vs. WWF stuff in short. One thing I never got: Austin says he’s leaving the WWF to find better competition. If he’s fighting WWF guys isn’t he fighting the same competition he’s always been fighting? They clip a good portion of this from the Mania package.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Not a bad main event I wouldn’t think. Austin jumps Rock as he’s posing on the ropes. You don’t interrupt the Rock’s posing! Rock chops away and hits a swinging neckbreaker before the vest comes off the champion. Rock Bottom doesn’t hit as Austin goes over the top. On the floor now and water is spit into Austin’s face.

They fight up the ramp and you can’t see a freaking thing. Ah there’s a spotlight. Much better. Rock reverses a suplex on the stage and Austin bounces off the steel. Austin wants a Piledriver but he winds up bouncing off the stage again. Back towards the ring now and it’s still mostly Rock. That is until he takes a slingshot and bounces head first off the post.

Austin flips off the crowd and almost gets caught in a rollup. It only gets two though and right back onto offense for Austin. They head to the floor even more and onto the announce table. Rock blocks another Piledriver and gets off. WHAT IS THE FREAKING DEAL WITH THE AIRHORNS? Do you British people think those are cool or something? Knock it off!

They’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe ten. Austin chokes him with the cables and then they chop it out. He drops Rock on the table again and might have hurt his knee. Back in the ring for a change and Austin lands the Thesz Press. The screw you elbow gets two as there’s a good deal of time left in this. Austin wastes time by yelling at the crowd and Rock comes back with some of Austin’s stuff, including the elbow for two.

We get a sleeper by the bald one. Doesn’t it amaze you that the rear naked choke takes like a few seconds to get a submission but a sleeper can last like a minute and the guy is fine? Naturally Rock’s arm goes up at the third drop like the hero that he is. Naturally Rock gets a sleeper on Austin because that’s just how things work. Also just how things work, his lasts like four seconds.

Austin gets a Boston Crab for no apparent reason. It’s more like a Liontamer than anything else which makes it more awesome. The look on Austin’s face is downright creepy looking. Rock gets about his 9th wind and takes over again with a belly to belly for two. And there goes the referee of course. Stunner is blocked and Austin walks into a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter which doesn’t make Austin tap but there’s no referee.

Austin puts Rock in the Sharpshooter on Rock and it’s somehow better than Rock’s. Ok scratch that it sucks. And now Rock has it on Austin until Angle runs down and pops Rock with the chair. Cue Jericho who I’ll bet is going to hit Rock with the chair. Jericho gets Angle out and Rock sees him with the chair, thinking it was him that popped him with it. And there they go.

Rock Bottom hits Austin and there’s still no referee. Angle is back in now and takes care of Rock again. DANG that referee can stay down through a lot. That didn’t last long as another spinebuster takes Austin down again. Angle breaks up the elbow with a belt shot though and a Stunner keeps the title on Austin.

Rating: B. These two have great matches time after time and this wasn’t their best but still was solid. This felt like a major match like it was supposed to be and that’s really all you can ask for at a show like this. Pretty good match and long with over twenty minutes. This was solid enough stuff but the ton of run-ins and the long ref bump kind of hurt it. Solid main event.

Overall Rating: C+. This was better than most of these shows but still nothing great. There is some solid stuff here but the problem is that it’s all been done before and been done far better than it was here. I’m not a fan of these shows at all as they never are much of anything but this was better than the majority of them. Nothing really worth seeing specifically but I’ve seen far worse shows. This was ok.

Smackdown
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have two more shows before Night of Champions and to the best of my knowledge we have one match on Smackdown set. There’s no IC Title match and the tag title match is on Raw. Wait…are there any other title matches from this show? If there are I can’t think of any. This isn’t exactly a stacked card from the Blue team and Cody is hardly ever on TV anymore because he actually got some momentum and we can’t have that no can we? Let’s get to it.

A video about Mark Henry starts us off. He’s big and mean and strong. Also he’s injured a lot of people because that’s what big mean strong people do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is being in a dentist chair for two hours next week.

Here’s Henry who almost has to win the title to keep from wasting the last three months of our time. He talks about being in WWE 15 years and needing to validate his time here. Last week he destroyed Orton worse than Orton has ever been destroyed and now he’s more dangerous than he’s ever been.

He gets cut off by Zack Ryder who is still assistant to the GM here. Ryder comes bearing news: tonight there’s a no contact rule for Henry and Orton. They both have matches tonight though. Ryder tries to leave but Henry says come back here. He thanks Ryder for the head’s up and Ryder tries to leave again. Henry says he has a question and Ryder is terrified.

Henry wants Ryder’s prediction for the PPV. He picks Beth over Kelly Kelly. As for Henry’s match though, if he picks Orton then Henry will “snort me up one nostril and out the other.” Ryder tries to leave again and Henry says he’s going to hurt someone tonight. Ryder tries to fight him and that gets him a World’s Strongest Slam. Cole: “I think that puts Henry out of the running for Broksi of the Week.” Booker: “You know it.”

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants a test of strength and Jackson is all cool with that. Jackson goes down and starts the traditional face comeback in a test of strength but Henry backdrops him out of it. There’s a top wristlock in another strength contest. Jackson fires off some punches and tries the Rack but since he lifted the bigger Khali a few weeks ago he can’t lift Henry here. Don’t you just love physics in wrestling? Henry gets him down with a clothesline and hits two splashes before the Slam ends this at 2:58. Just a squash.

Orton’s match tonight is with Rhodes. I’m stunned too: Rhodes still exists.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana in more leather. She wants to be guest ring announcer again and Teddy says that would take the special out of special guest ring announcer. She says she can do something else with her mouth: sing. Teddy leaves to go check on Zack Ryder.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

The topic of conversation of course is Cara’s heelish…..er I mean rudo actions last week. Cara sends Kidd to the floor and hits a huge dive to take out Tyson. Cole starts making fun of Josh so Booker gets us back to sanity. Josh says he would interview Sin Cara but he doesn’t speak Spanish. Cole gives him a Spanish lesson as the match is totally ignored. Cara and Kidd have their usual fast paced back and forth match. A spinning springboard cross body gets two for Kidd who rolls through Cara’s cover. Cara hits a cross between a Samoan Drop and an Angle Slam to set up the Swanton/Lionsault combo for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C+. The usual good match from these two with some nice dives and counters, but as he always does anymore, Cole took the focus completely off the match and made it all about himself. We have some high flying stuff going on out there but hey, let’s have Cole teach us (incorrectly) how to fake a conversation in Spanish and make fun of Booker’s way of commentating. I used to think he was no big deal and that people were overreacting to him but dude, shut up for five minutes already.

As per Cole’s more or less demandments, Josh goes to interview Cara. Cole cracks up as Josh talks really slowly. Cara speaks English and says….well now he’s in Spanish again. Oh ok he’s doing the wrestling thing of saying something in Spanish and then repeating it in English. He says he’s going to continue this style because it’s the real Sin Cara.

Cue Daniel Bryan who isn’t happy. He’s surprised Cara can speak English and was also surprised that Cara kicked him in the head last week. The kick spoke in a universal language: he doesn’t respect Bryan. Bryan wants a rematch next week and Cara drills him, putting him in the LeBell Lock and Bryan taps.

Video on Cody. He’s disfigured don’t you know.

Orton says Cody’s changes haven’t been for the better. He’s unstable and that can be dangerous. As for Mark Henry, what he did last week was smart and calculated, which aren’t usually associated with Henry. Orton says an RKO can stop Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

Why doesn’t Natalya get a title shot on PPV? Beth is coming up on her second. Beth is with Nattie and Kelly is alone. Kelly hammers away to start and we’re told about some article on WWE.com which set everyone off. That would make a difference if the article had come out before the heel turn started but whatever. Natalya beats her down on the floor and is in total control.

We go old school with an abdominal stretch. Cole of course won’t shut up about everything not related to the match. Kelly fights back with a slap and a sunset flip which is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt but Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:58. Another short match but Kelly escaping with the win is getting a bit old. Hopefully Beth takes it Sunday or Eve finally turns on her.

Here’s Christian for a match but he says his match has been postponed. The rest of the matches have been postponed too. Due to Teddy Long making him be in the main event last week, he wasn’t ready for his cage match. Christian wants, say it with me, one more match for the title.

Sheamus comes out and says this is getting embarrassing. Christian reminds Sheamus as a litter of puppies. All but the runt grew up to be big and strong but the runt developed mange. Every time he barked, hot air came out of him. Christian yells at him and says shut up. The pale one says he wants to get to his match and Christian isn’t going to get another chance because he’s out of excuses and out of chances. Right now though, he’s going to get out of this ring. Christian actually leaves. And I’m sure he won’t come back at all right?

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

The crowd is behind Sheamus so at least they’re well behaved. It’s a power match to start with Sheamus controlling but not by much. Barrett gets a kick in to block a backdrop and then runs to the floor. Back in Barrett beats him down a bit and Sheamus is like BY THE POWER OF IRELAND and pounds him down in the corner. Sheamus gets reversed into the corner though and Barrett takes over for the first extended period of the match so far.

Barrett puts on a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Wade getting two off something we didn’t see. Out to the floor again and Barrett gets a big boot in and rams Sheamus’ back into the apron a few times, getting two in the ring. Barrett gets a single right hand to put Sheamus on the floor. Back in Sheamus fires off and it’s a slugfest won by the pale one. There are those tied in the rope forearm smashes, now getting counted along with by the crowd. A top rope shoulder block hits but here’s Christian for the DQ at 6:53 shown of 10:23.

Rating: C+. These two are good for a power brawl and that’s what they had here. I’m not sure what else they were supposed to try to do so they didn’t try anything complicated. There’s always something fun about two big and strong guys out there hitting each other until one can’t get up and that’s what they were getting close to by the end. Fun little match. Also Sheamus vs. Christian could be a pretty entertaining feud.

Sheamus starts beating Christian back but gets double teamed by the Canadian and the Brit. That’s not a problem either as he gets Christian to run and takes Barrett out with a double sledge and the Brogue Kick. Christian comes back in and almost gets caught in the Celtic (formerly High) Cross but he gets out and runs.

Air Boom vs. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal

Kofi’s pyro works tonight as opposed to Monday. Bourne vs. Mahal gets us going with Mahal getting a clothesline for two. Off to tall dude who has to lean down to hit Bourne in the back. Khali smothers Bourne’s face against the top rope and it’s back to Mahal. This referee is really loud.

Bourne escapes a suplex by kneeing Mahal in the head which was impressive. Hot tag to Kofi and he cleans house. Boom Drop hits and he loads up the Trouble in Paradise. Instead he hits a spinning cross body off the top and Khali saves. Mahal yells at Khali and slaps him, making Khali shove him into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match and I’m kind of disappointed that they’ve split up the Indian dudes this quickly. They could have been something interesting especially with an actual backstory to them. Mahal was a hot guy when he came in and has come crashing down since then and I don’t get why. I guess this sets up Khali vs. Mahal and I’m not sure why that’s happening.

We run down the card for NOC.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here of course. We get a clip of Ted getting beaten down by Cody after his loss. Cody talks about how everyone is jealous of his abilities and his success. He’s tried to inspire people but Ted DiBiase was happy being Ted DiBiase so he dropped him. Rhodes points out that Orton has no room to talk about being unstable.

Feeling out process to start and neither guy has a real advantage. Orton gets two on a dropkick. Here are the stomps which Cole calls psychological. Almost all Orton so far but they have a lot of time. Thesz Press keeps Rhodes down. Cody gets in a shot with the mask and Randy goes down. Cole goes into a big rant about Josh being a follower or some jazz like that as Orton makes a comeback.

Orton headbutts the mask and takes over with an adrenaline rush off the pain. Booker: “Cole has anyone ever told you that you’re just annoying?” Orton injures his knee a bit and Cody hones in like a wrestler that sees an opponent with an injured knee. Rhodes puts him on the apron and hits his kick as we take a break. Back with Cody still in control in the corner.

Cody works over the arm because he’s a bit strange at times. You know, I mean it’s not like ORTON HURT HIS KNEE EARLIER. Time for Cole to work his annoyances again as Booker mentions he has wrestling students. Cody works on the arm even more which I guess is the focal point now. Orton has had bad arms/shoulders so it works I guess. Rhodes throws on an armbar and the fans chant for Randy.

Alabama Slam cuts the comeback short but it only gets two. Orton gets a shot in and both guys are down. Booker gets WAY too excited when Randy starts his comeback. There are the clotheslines and the powerslam but Rhodes gets a release gordbuster to break up the momentum again. Orton fires back with a kneedrop as this is starting to get good. Elevated DDT and Orton goes into seizure mode. Rhodes shows some intelligence and RUNS while Orton is all fired up. Cross Rhodes are avoided and the RKO ends this clean at 6:57 shown of 10:27.

Rating: B-. This could be really good in an instance where Cody has a chance, but here he was just cannon fodder for Orton. The problem here is that Cody has lost a bunch of steam in the past few weeks since he won the title because just like everyone else who gets some momentum he’s immediately stopped cold so that a guy the writers haven’t picked doesn’t become something huge. This is probably the biggest problem in WWE at the moment: no one is allowed to get significant momentum and it cripples so many pushes.

Here’s Henry post match and Orton is a bit scared. Orton gets in some shots but Henry takes him down with ease. He hits the Slam and puts an unfolded chair over Orton’s throat and says he could break him, ending the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week as we move closer to Night of Champions. Orton vs. Henry gets a bit more build but it’s kind of the same stuff we’ve seen so far. I guess the no touching policy was either forgotten or was only in effect until after their matches were over. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but Christian vs. Sheamus should be good….when we actually get there. Good show overall but a bit boring.

Results

Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Lionsault

Kelly Kelly b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Christian interfered

Air Boom b. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal – Trouble in Paradise to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re two weeks from Night of Champions and we have a lot of the card starting to be filled in. HHH vs. Punk is already happening this early which really surprises me. We also have Cena vs. Del Rio and the champ will actually be back tonight after getting his work visa stuff straightened out. Other than that we know the titles will be on the line but we’re not sure who will be challenging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long montage of HHH vs. Punk and the Nash factor too. When I say long I mean like three or four minutes.

Here’s the Cult of Personality to open things up. He talks about how he’s different and doesn’t have a filter from his brain to his mouth. That also makes him a target and tonight he’s against R-Truth. He’d rather be facing Kevin Nash because he’s the status quo. He doesn’t buy that Nash and HHH are arguing, so right now he’s offering Nash an open forum to come and face him like a man.

Here’s Nash who talks about how he’s not apologizing for what he did last week. Punk runs down all of Nash’s nicknames (SUPER SHREDDER!!!!!) and Nash isn’t thrilled. He says Punk should be thankful for HHH pulling him out of the match because he’d kill Punk. Punk says Nash hasn’t been relevant since 1994 and that brings Nash closer to the ring.

HHH comes out and Nash says HHH needs to get rid of Punk who is a cancer. I hate that word being used in wrestling, I really do. HHH says he found some stuff out this week. The Staples Center (the place Summerslam was held) found some security footage which shows who sent the text from HHH’s phone. The person that sent the text to Nash from HHH’s phone was…..Nash.

Nash says that’s true and he did it so he could make the WWE cool again. One of them (Nash or Punk) has to go. HHH says Punk hasn’t lied to him once and Nash has done nothing but lie since he came back. HHH says he doesn’t want to do this and Nash freaks out. He gets in HHH’s face and HHH blasts him and then fires him before leaving. Punk talks some trash and we take a break.

Nash is trying to leave and Johnny Ace gets in his car after looking around first.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali

They’re officially Air Boom. Justin Roberts told me so. This is non-title. Mahal vs. Bourne to start us off and Bourne tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a jumping knee. Lawler has to fight either Otunga or McGillicutty later tonight. Khali comes in and beats up Bourne for a bit and it’s back to Jinder. Bourne gets in a shot and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He beats up Mahal but is sent to the floor by Khali. Khali sends Kofi back in but misses a chop, hitting Mahal instead. That sets up the Shooting Star for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. This match made perfect sense. The champions couldn’t hang against the two bigger guys physically so they used teamwork to escape with the win. I liked this and it’s cool to see a team thrown together actually working as a unit and having some chemistry. You can get good teams out of that and it’s working here.

Kelly is on commentary for the next match.

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Winner gets Kelly at the PPV. No chance for Natalya? And why not exactly? Beth has the skirt/shorts look back. Nattie sits in on commentary also, giving us five total people out there. Eve tries what looked to be a monkey flip but slips. Beth uses power and sends her shoulder first into the post. Natalya and Kelly are arguing over what Divas should be like the whole match. Eve misses a kick out of the corner and gets caught in the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:03. This was really, REALLY sloppy looking.

Nattie decks Kelly post match.

Drew McIntyre is talking to Christian who wants ONE MORE shot. Drew says he deserves one shot at….something but he’s cut off by Alberto. Del Rio talks about how he expected Christian to be champion here. The reason he doesn’t is John Cena. Christian cuts him off and says this is the part where Del Rio wants him to fight Del Rio’s battles for him right? Del Rio points out that Cena gave him an AA last week and the next night Christian had the cage match. He leaves the Canadian with that thought.

Inside Out trailer because we need to be reminded about it in case we happen to live in one of the 10 cities it’s showing in.

Truth vs. Punk next.

R-Truth vs. CM Punk

The Truth has now set him free instead of shall set him free. Miz is nowhere to be seen even though he was coming to the ring with Truth before the break. He wants to know why Punk is different because he was telling the truth the whole time before Punk was. Maybe he should buy a ticket to Night of Champions so he can stuff his face with popcorn.

This brings out Miz who says there’s a conspiracy and that HHH is in way over his head. Miz is going to do HHH’s job for him: at the PPV they’re getting the tag title match. They make fun of the name Air Boom and it isn’t funny. Punk is about to get got. Miz has a satellite radio show now. Punk controls early with a headlock and Jerry has to get us back onto the match while Cole starts ranting against Ross a bit.

Punk hits a suicide dive to take Truth out but Miz moves to avoid it. While still on the floor Miz gets a shot in to Punk’s knee and Truth takes over. This show and this match in particular are just dragging. I know they were in Europe this past week (the SD guys were) but this has been very lackluster. Truth throws on a half crab while the announcers spend the entire match talking about HHH and how he’s failing running the company. Truth goes up very slowly and Punk pops him in the head.

Punk goes up for a superplex and is at least selling the knee. He goes all the way up too and the superplex puts both guys down. Punk gets a hobbling knee in the corner and the bulldog to follow. The springboard clothesline hits and Punk is rapidly getting louder and louder face pops. The knee gives out on the GTS and Truth hits the sitout gordbuster for two. Punk takes out Miz and there goes the plaid! Miz gets ejected but Punk gets hit in the back while watching it. Not that it matters because the GTS ends Truth clean at 9:45.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t into this one. Punk’s selling was good but at the same time the parts where Truth was in control were really boring. Punk’s face pops are interesting as the fans are getting more and more into his offense. It wasn’t horrible but Truth is really boring to me in the ring anymore.

HHH comes out post match and Punk says he still doesn’t believe Nash and HHH aren’t in on it together still. HHH calls Punk Obama since he wants change. The match at NOC is now no DQ and afterwards Punk might get fired. Punk says that’s cool but he wants one more thing: if HHH loses, he resigns as COO. HHH says done and leaves.

Some guy I don’t recognize (apparently Curt Hawkins) is talking to Tyler Reks and Wade Barrett. Del Rio interrupts and gives the same kind of speech to Barrett that he gave to Christian. Yes pick the guy that lost to Cena in three minutes last week.

The WWE Network is coming in 2012.

We get a quick recap of last week with Lawler insulting McGillicutty and Otunga and them getting in his face.

There’s a tag team match this week and Lawler has a mystery partner: Zack Ryder. We get a video of Ryder, complete with a big montage of his show and Cena appearing on it. I guess this is his official face turn.

Jerry Lawler/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Ryder gets beaten down for the early part of the match while Cole makes fun of his Youtube show. After about a minute it’s a hot tag to Lawler and he cleans house with punches and a dropkick. The middle rope punch hits and Ryder wants in. He hits the Rough Ryder on Otunga and we’re done in 2:00. This was fine.

Del Rio tries to get Ziggler to do his thing. The Bellas come up and hit on him. He says hang on a sec and keeps going on Ziggler, implying Vickie is cheating on him….kind of.

Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater

Slater is sent into the post about 5 seconds into this and Orton hammers him down. Orton stomps away and hits the knee drop. Slater pokes him in the eye and gets an enziguri for two. Spinebuster gets two. Orton fakes Slater out and takes over again. There’s the powerslam and the elevated DDT. RKO and we’re done at 2:57. Just a quick match that wasn’t quite a squash.

Ryder is talking to Cena and is filming his show at the same time. He puts sunglasses on Cena and Cena asks who wears sunglasses indoors. Cena is up next.

Here’s Cena who says Happy Labor Day. This is just for talking and I don’t think there’s a main event match set up yet. Cena wants to get his hands on Alberto but the champ keeps ducking him. We get a Tattoo from Fantasy Island reference which makes sense when you think about Ricardo being about two feet shorter. Here’s Alberto in a car which Cena thinks he doesn’t know the name of.

Del Rio talks about how he’s trying to protect Cena. However, he can’t say that about these guys, and here are Barrett and Swagger. Ziggler joins in also and here’s Christian to make it 4-1. Alex Riley and Sheamus come out as does Morrison, running along the railing as he comes. I think I smell an 8 man tag. Teddy comes out and says he has some authority when necessary around here. You know the drill here but in a little twist, this is under elimination rules ala Survivor Series. That helps a bit. The bell is after a break.

John Cena/Sheamus/Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian/Wade Barrett/Jack Swagger

Survivor Series rules remember. The match is in progress as we come back with Barrett vs. Riley and no eliminations so far. Barrett hits a Boss Man Slam for two. We came back at 10:53 so this is going to go fast probably. Riley manages to send Barrett into the corner and it’s off to Morrison and Ziggler. Morrison takes down the entire heel team and avoids a rollup. Christian comes in and gets kicked in the head. Morrison’s partners have no issue with letting him get beaten down 4-1.

Swagger tags in and we get a double submission attempt. With ZERO help from his partners, Morrison has to tap out. Here’s Vickie with Swagger looking at her. We take after less than three minutes. Back with Ziggler hammering away on Riley with no extra eliminations during the break. Riley fights back and hits that sweet spinebuster of his. And never mind as he walks into a Fameasser for two.

Swagger tags himself in again and gets in an argument with Ziggler. Riley rolls through the ankle lock but gets caught by a Vader Bomb and is put right back into it for Swagger’s second submission of the match, making it 4-2. Sheamus is in now and gets his head kicked off by Barrett.

That only gets two and Sheamus wakes up to pound away on Barrett like the true brawler he is. Top rope shoulder block hits and Sheamus pops Ziggler to break up interference. Brogue Kick misses but the pumphandle slam is broken up. Brogue Kick ends Barrett and here’s Christian. It’s Cena/Sheamus vs. Swagger/Christian/Ziggler at this point. Killswitch is countered and Christian is sent to the apron where he slaps Sheamus.

Old pasty chases him around the ring and knocks down Ziggler in the process. They go into the crowd for a chase scene and then up the ramp for the double countout, putting us at 2-1. Gee I wonder how this is going to end. He gets Swagger first and team heel takes over. Vickie is all smiley as Swagger beats on Cena. Cena fires back and goes into his finishing sequence.

Cena hits a double Five Knuckle Shuffle to them but walks into a side slam kind of move from Swagger. Vader Bomb hits and now Ziggler tags himself in with some nice psychology there. He walks into the AA though and it’s one on one. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Cena rolls through into the STF for the tap at 17:42.

Rating: C. Eh not bad here but so what? This doesn’t advance Cena vs. Del Rio or anything which is something that we’re desperately needing at this point. I’m really getting tired of these pretty pointless tag team main events though as they’re not getting us anywhere, especially when it comes to the world title match.

Del Rio runs in, takes an AA and is right back out again. Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. It felt like a throwaway show and that’s not good this close to NOC. Alberto vs. Cena feels like it has zero attention to it while HHH vs. Punk is being pushed to the moon to try to stop the feeling that it’s being used way too early. The problem with NOC is there really are no stories needed for most of these matches and it’s showing here as there’s no reason to have a lot of the matches and a lot of people will be left off the show. Bad Raw tonight and I wasn’t impressed at all for the most part.

Results

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali – Shooting Star Press to Mahal

Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

CM Punk b. R-Truth – GTS

Jerry Lawler/Zack Ryder b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Rough Ryder to Otunga

Randy Orton b. Heath Slater – RKO

John Cena/Alex Riley/Sheamus/John Morrison b. Christian/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Wade Barrett – Cena last eliminated Swagger with the STF to win

Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2011
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the live show tonight and the main event is Christian vs. Orton 4985 for the title in a cage match. It’s a double branded show and hopefully we’ll get the announcement that Raw guys will also appear on Smackdown. Anyway this should be fun as the live shows are usually better. Let’s get to it.

Punk and HHH will sign their contract tonight.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Detroit Tigers who won’t let my Indians get back in contention.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He’s not sure what day it is. I kind of like him talking on the way to the ring. Don’t adjust your sets because this is Smackdown, it is Tuesday and we are live. He lists off a bunch of shows that are here, ranging from Raw to Smackdown to Nitro to Smokey Mountain Wrestling to the XFL superstars. Scratch that XFL idea because that was worse than the Shockmaster.

He calls out Alberto and the music plays but it’s Rodriguez instead. He says that Cena has to wait a bit longer to be in the ring with Del Rio and actually speaks English for a bit. And scratch that as it’s time for the full entrance. Not that Del Rio is here due to visa issues but whatever. Ricardo keeps saying Del Rio’s name over and over until Cena shouts at him. Cena has a gift for Alberto though. It’s a right hand and down goes Ricardo.

Here’s Barrett or as Cena says “Mr. Winds of Change” himself. Barrett yells at Cena for beating up the fat ring announcer which gets us a Tony Chimmel reference. They argue back and forth a bit and the bell is after the break.

Wade Barrett vs. John Cena

Cena pounds him down into the corner and Barrett is reeling early. Headlock takeover puts Barrett down again but the British dude gets a shot in to take over. Cena doesn’t like being in trouble though so he hits a sitout powerslam to put Barrett down again. Boss Man Slam gets two for Wade. They’re going through this kind of fast and it’s making it a weaker match. Case in point we’re less than three minutes in and Cena is on his finishing sequence including the Protobomb and Shuffle. The AA hits and Cena wins 100% clean at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Uh….what was that? I mean I knew Cena was going to dominate but Barrett got in a total of one move of note which was the Boss Man Slam. I really don’t get this one at all and while it’s not like Barrett is buried now (since anyone that ever loses to a bigger star is instantly buried if you read things on the internet) this was a bit harsh on him.

Henry doesn’t care who wins tonight. He says Striker asked a dumb question when he asked what a cage match was like.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This should be good. Cara hits some arm drags to take over and grabs an armbar. Bryan gets a kick to the chest in and the suicide dive/shove to take over. He’s looking a bit mad tonight for some reason. Here come the kicks from Daniel Bryan: Male Rockette. Off to a surfboard but he’s no Rob Van Dam so it doesn’t work. Instead he drops Cara down into a dragon sleeper which was pretty cool. Bryan is backdropped to the floor and Cara manages to avoid missing a dive but the second, a springboard spinning cross body to the floor, takes Bryan out.

Back in the swanton gets two but he didn’t try the Lionsault. Bryan gets his moonsault out of the corner and they collide on cross body attempts to put both of them down. They exchange kicks but Cara manages to put him down and hit the swanton/Lionsault combo and gets the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C+. Ok so maybe there is something to the depushed theory. Bryan losing here is rather odd but maybe it leads to a heel turn eventually. I can understand the losses to people like Christian and Del Rio because they’re bigger stars than Bryan. This either says very little about Bryan or says A LOT about Cara. I’m not sure which but I didn’t see that one coming.

They shake hands post match but CARA KICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Did Sin Cara just turn heel??? I was referring to a Bryan turn!

Air Boom says they’re awesome and teach Striker the Boom Boom Boom.

Sheamus doesn’t like bullies and you shouldn’t either.

We recap the Orton vs. Christian feud since MITB, which is really all you need to know about the feud.

Christian says this is his night.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox

Aksana is guest ring announcer which is supposed to be connected to her hitting on Teddy. So Alicia is a face now? Nattie vs. Kelly to start. Kelly looks like the victim of a bubblegum accident. Cold tag to Alicia and after some offense from her, the Glam Slam takes care of this at 2:00.

It’s time for the contract signing and Teddy brings out HHH. He talks about the match a bit and says he’s glad that he gets to take the suit off for one night. The fans seem totally behind Punk. Punk puts his feet on the table and wants to know why we’re here. He thinks HHH has put a stipulation into the contract but HHH says there’s nothing suspicious going on. Punk says there’s nothing HHH can do to surprise him.

Punk interrupts HHH when he talks about respect and for once, someone tells Punk to shut up. HHH says he’s bent over backwards to work with Punk but Punk kept pushing. He wants to know who Punk thinks got Living Color to let the company use Cult of Personality as his theme. Who does Punk think got him that Best in the World shirt? Punk has gotten everything he’s asked for but Punk hasn’t cooperated. Now HHH wants Punk to deal with him like a man.

Punk says he doesn’t want to fight the COO but rather the Cerebral Assassin. Maybe HHH isn’t the right man for the job because just like Vince, he can’t separate the business from the personal stuff. Punk insists he loves the WWE because if he hated it he wouldn’t be sitting here right now. He wants a change and says that he and the fans are dying for a change. Punk says he wants to be a catalyst for that change.

HHH says give me a break because half of the fans agree with him and half of them flat out do not care. Some of the fans like the WWE, which draws a big pop. He’s right too. Punk only wants change if it means Punk is on top. He’s no different than anyone, including HHH. They’d both do whatever it took to get on top but HHH said he’d do whatever it took to get to the top. Punk has no balls though and is trying to sneak his way to the top by pretending to be a martyr.

Punk says if he’s seen as a martyr then maybe he’s doing the right thing. HHH talked about half of the people liking it but Punk wants EVERYONE to like it. Before Punk was a wrestler he was a fan and at his core he’s still that. He’ll do whatever he can do to make this place fun again. The reason he says these things about his wife is because it tests HHH. HHH is just like Vince and is just as egotistical and corrupt as everyone and the hiring of HHH’s old buddies is proof of that.

Punk signs and says that if he has to be the catalyst of change and has to go through HHH to do it, so be it. At Night of Champions, don’t fine him or suspend him after he beats the boss. HHH says the difference between Punk and himself is respect. He respects Vince and says that they wouldn’t be there if not for Vince McMahon. That’s a hard one to argue for Punk I think.

He’s about to say why he’s not like Vince but gets cut off by Punk. Punk calls him short sighted and HHH is living in the past that Vince is trapped in. Punk wants change and HHH says he’ll get it. This is where he’s not like Vince (he signs here) because at NOC he would have gotten in the ring with Punk and taken a beating because it would have been good for business. This isn’t about business and it’s personal.

Here’s Nash and Punk FREAKS. HHH tries to hold him back but the big man gets in there. They slug it out and HHH tries to break it up, allowing Nash to get in a big boot. HHH gets in his face and Nash shoves him down, stunning HHH.

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Sheamus still has bad ribs. Khali dominates to start and locks in a nerve hold after hammering away on the chest and ribs. Sheamus fights back and hits his forearms while Khali is in the ropes but as he sets for the Brogue Kick, Mahal comes in for the DQ at 2:50. This was nothing.

Post match the Indian dudes try a beatdown but Khali misses the chop and hits the post. A Brogue Kick takes him down and Sheamus beats up Legs Mahal for fun.

Inside Out trailer wastes some time.

There’s a poll for the world title match tonight: Orton wins 85 to 15. DANG.

The cage is lowered and it’s just after 9:30. This is going to get some time.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

In a cage and Orton is champion in case you’re reading this in like 10 years. You can win by pin/submission/escape. I didn’t know the back of the belt was red. They have about 18 minutes left so for a TV main event that’s more than enough. Christian tries two early escapes but Orton saves both times. He tries something off the middle rope but jumps into a dropkick from Randy for two. With that we take an abrupt break less than two minutes into the match.

Back with Christian in control and hammering away in the corner. Orton takes him down with a clothesline and the fans seem to like Orton better. Why do I sound surprised by that? Anyway Christian gets slammed off the top off another escape attempt. A pair of knee drops gets two for Orton. Orton’s escape attempt fails as does the elevated DDT. The Canadian goes up but Orton makes a save again.

They’re really playing up the idea of it could end at a moment’s notice as Orton gets a rollup and Christian gets a spinebuster, both for two. Cole says Christian has been around for 17 years. I don’t know what school he went to but they weren’t noted for their math. Christian gets to the top of the cage but Randy makes another save. They fight on the top rope and Orton snaps off a superplex to put both guys down at break #2.

Back with Christian almost making it and having his hands on the floor but Orton saves again. Orton starts his insane stuff but the elevated DDT is countered again. A shot to the cage is reversed into the falling DDT for two for the Canadian. Christian goes for the escape and even shoves Orton down but he’s feeling froggy and it only gets two.

Orton makes about his 10^th save and avoids a spear. RKO misses and the second spear attempt hits for a close two. The drama in this has been very good. Christian loads up the Punt but Orton avoids it and in a NICE bit of psychology Christian teases his turning dive out of the corner and Orton jumps for an RKO but Christian fakes him out and climbs. Orton stops him again and gets that sweet over the shoulder powerbomb position into a neckbreaker for two. The fans are into this.

Christian tries the Killswitch but Orton escapes and tries the elevated DDT and gets it for once but the RKO is countered. Christian makes a lunge for the climb but Orton makes ANOTHER save. We’re past 10pm now and they’re fighting on the top rope. Christian tries the Killswitch from the top but Orton counters into a SUPER RKO and Christian is dead at 13:35.

Rating: A. I loved this. They played back to stuff from previous matches like the head fake and the idea of it ending at any time was excellent. This match worked incredibly well and the whole thing was great. These two have had the feud of the year in any other year because Cena vs. Punk happened this year. Great stuff again and I’m thinking it happens again at the Cell, but I’m not sure how they get there.

Post match Henry comes out for the beating and Orton is destroyed.  Randy escapes for a bit but Henry takes him down with a clothesline and a splash stops Orton cold.  He gets sent into the cage and takes a World’s Strongest Slam to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well the Raw guys didn’t play a huge role here and that’s definitely a good thing. Other than the quick Cena match and the HHH/Punk/Nash thing (which I liked) there wasn’t much of a Raw presence here. The show was entertaining enough and a good main event makes this pretty easily a solid show. Sheamus vs. the Indian dudes is something to do I guess and we have the NOC main event set up now. It wasn’t the huge show they were hoping for but I’d call this a good show, which is the norm on Smackdown for the most part anymore.

Results

John Cena b. Wade Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Lionsault

Natalya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox – Glam Slam to Fox

Sheamus b. Great Khali via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO off the top rope

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 29, 2011
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s officially Alberto vs. Cena at the PPV but the bigger story at the moment is the conspiracy that Punk thinks is going on against him. According to him, someone wants Alberto to be champion. This opens a lot of doors because the questions of who sent the text message, was Alberto in on it and who is lying to who and who knows what are all in play. Let’s get to it.

The boss opens the show as is the custom recently. He says that for the forseeable future, Raw and Smackdown will be combined to form Raw Supershows. Did the Brand Split just end? I very well may have misunderstood it but that’s what it sounded like. Anyway HHH now wants to talk about the bad part of the job, which in this case is people lying to him which he thinks Nash has done. He calls Nash to the ring but gets someone else instead.

Here’s Punk who is still getting a decent response. He wants to be told that HHH and Nash have been together all along. Cue Nash to the NWO music. Nash admits that he lied about the car wreck last week. Nash yells about Stephanie. For all the references to her, shouldn’t she be here soon? He asks HHH what kind of man HHH is and HHH says the kind that shouldn’t be lied to by his best friend.

HHH can’t trust him anymore and tells Nash to leave now and not come back. Nash doesn’t leave and says he wasn’t lying about the text. While HHH was gone last week, Nash was signed to a contract by Johnny Ace so he has to be fired to be gone. It’s a guaranteed paycheck too so Nash gets paid even if he’s just sitting at home. HHH says he’s not fired but no more lying.

Punk has a sudden viral stomach attack and begins to dry heave all over the ring as he’s sickened by this. He says he’s just acting, exactly like those two are. Punk references the Clique, which is the sound of remotes changing the channel every time Nash is on screen. Also it’s the sound Nash’s knees make when he walks.

Nash says since he’s under contract now, Hunter should book the match everyone wants to see. Punk says let’s do it at NOC and then makes sure the Board, and by that he means Stephanie, is cool with it. HHH may not wear the pants, but he wears Stephanie’s panties. HHH says the match is on for NOC and they can both suck it.

HHH leaves but with Punk and Nash in the ring…here’s Orton? He doesn’t say anything but it’s Orton vs. Ziggler later. In a nice touch we get a little highlight reel of Ziggler with JR narrating about how good he is. That’s EXACTLY what they need to do to save time and still get these guys some mention.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ok so it seems it’s just Smackdown guys being on Raw and not vice versa. Well it’s a step in the right direction at least. Vickie is compared to great managers who had a diverse stable. I’d like to see that come back because it gives people some fallback storylines if they’re bored. Orton keeps up the advantage and Ziggler has a noticeable tan line. Vickie gets involved and Ziggler counters the elevated DDT to send Orton to the floor.

Zig Zag on the floor has Orton in trouble. It gets a close 8 count on the floor but Randy gets back in, allowing Dolph to stomp away as we take a break. We’re back on the floor with Orton being rammed into the steps. Swagger is watching in the back. Something resembling a crossface chickenwing by Ziggler and he keeps Randy down even longer.

Dolph goes up and they slug it out with Orton taking over. Superplex by Orton puts both guys down but randy gets two. Here come the clotheslines and Orton is all fired up. Belly to belly gets two. Ziggler gets a Fameasser out of nowhere for a near fall. What might have been a sleeper attempt is countered into a rollup for two. Ziggler channels his inner Hennig and is catapulted into the corner.

Orton busts out his sweet over the shoulder powerbomb into a neckbreaker for two. He loads up the punt but Ziggler NAILS him with a superkick for a very close two. This is starting to get good. Orton teases throwing Ziggler to the floor but stops him at the apron so he can hit the elevated DDT. That was kind of cool. RKO time but Ziggler counters into the sleeper. Orton escapes and tosses him into the air and Ziggler bounces to his feet and a kind of botched RKO (Ziggler didn’t fall fast enough so it was closer to a Stunner) ends this at 12:30.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as these two continue to have some pretty decent chemistry together. Orton was on his game tonight and had some nice variations on his usual stuff, making it a far better match than he’s used to having. I really liked that toss being caught into the elevated DDT. Good match here and I was really getting into it near the end.

We get a clip of Cena getting beaten down last week and Josh asks him about it, but Cena just walks away and is all mad.

Here’s Cena (saying that you should come see this on his way through the curtain) to talk about Alberto. Cena says that Alberto talks about having honor as a champion but last week he got jumped by the champ in a dishonorable fashion. He calls out Del Rio but gets Mark Henry instead. Henry talks about how he’s hurt everyone in his sight and now he’s going to make Cena join that list. Oh and he’ll win the title at Night of Champions after he beats whoever wins the cage match.

Cue Christian who says he’ll be facing Henry at Night of Champions. But we’ll deal with that later. Right now he wants to tell Cena that he’s tired of John’s whining. Cena says that hasn’t been whining and makes fun of both of them. If they want some, come get some. Christian says let’s do this but here’s Sheamus for the save.

Cena pulls his fist back to punch Sheamus because he’s not sure if he can trust him. That’s BRILLIANT as Sheamus hasn’t had a big change of heart and it wouldn’t be much of a turn for him to beat up Cena too. Christian bails and Henry, realizing he’s outnumbered, thinks better of it and leaves. He doesn’t come off like a coward, keeping his monster levels high. Nice touch again. Man they’re thinking tonight and it’s improving the show massively.

Johnny Ace says the match should be made and HHH comes in and is like dude, I got this covered and says the match is made.

Punk vs. Miz next. I’m DIGGING this brand split ending thing.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Punk is in the ring post break which is kind of weird. Miz has a mic. Oh I’m liking this. Miz says that he was dropping pipe bombs way before Punk was and he’s much more must see than Punk. Punk takes over early on with his usual assortment of strikes but the Macho Man elbow is broken up. Miz hits his running boot to the head for two.

He hammers away with left hands so Punk fires off some kicks. Short DDT gets two for Miz. Off to the chinlock before a neckbreaker gets two for Miz. Corner clothesline and a double axe off the top get two. Big boot gets two for Miz. This is a much better performance from Miz than I was expecting. After a few more minutes with almost nothing from Punk, Miz sends him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Miz holding his third chinlock of the night. Punk starts his comeback as Cole is blasting JR and Lawler for every word he says. Punk hits the top rope elbow and loads up the GTS. And never mind as here’s R-Truth for the DQ at 14:00. Man I wish this could have gotten some more time and a proper ending.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the other match but still it was pretty good all things considered. Miz isn’t the kind of guy you want to have long matches but they’re trying at least. Truth coming in is kind of annoying but that fits the story they’ve got going on. Not bad at all and I liked it for the most part.

Punk beats them down but here’s Nash for the distraction so that Miz can take over. Jackknife leaves Punk laying.

Sin Cara vs. Jack Swagger

BIG pop for Cara. No Vickie with Swaggs. The lights start out as normal and then go out a few seconds into it. Cara sends him to the floor and this an Asai Moonsault to take Swagger down. Here comes Vickie as Swagger hits a Vader Bomb and legdrop for a cocky one count. Swagger is in control and here’s Dolph to yell. He goes to the ring and calls Jack a loser. Swagger charges but gets caught by a springboard dornado DDT and the swanton/Lionsault combo for the pin at 2:51. Hunico is WAY more coordinated than Mistico out there.

Tag Titles: Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Kofi’s pyro doesn’t go off for some reason. There was a poll online and the new champions are going to be known as Air Boom. I’ve heard worse. McGillicutty takes over to start on Bourne and hammers away. Bourne gets beaten down as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Kofi and it connects before I can finish typing that sentence. Kofi comes in with a huge springboard chop and things speed up. SOS is countered by Michael but Kofi hits a spinning springboard cross body for two as everything breaks down. Big dive takes out Otunga and Trouble in Paradise ends McGillicutty at 2:25. This was fine.

Post match Otunga gets in Lawler’s face and Daivd takes the headset off him. They stare each other down but nothing else happens.

Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Oh joy, it’s this match again. Kelly hammers away to start and we cut to Beth and Natalya complaining about someone else that are causing the problems. They should be in the ring, not Kelly. The twins switch places and Nikki gets the pin with an X-Factor at 1:18.

Trailer for HHH’s new movie Inside Out. So how many times are we going to see this over the next few weeks? It’s an action movie about a guy that is trying to reform or is out of prison or something like that. Again though, does anyone care?

Mark Henry/Christian vs. John Cena/Sheamus

Sheamus vs. Henry to start at 11:01. Sheamus pounds him down to a nice reaction but Henry runs him over with a clothesline. The tape on Sheamus’ ribs is taken off and the Great White (yes they’re really calling him that in a feud with a big angry black man) is in trouble. Off to Christian as this is one sided. The not great and not white (I’m just going off what they’re calling his opponent) Henry comes back in and works on the ribs even more.

Christian is back in but he jumps into the Irish Curse and is down. We’re waiting on the hot tag to Cena and are also waiting on Alberto to run in because we haven’t see him all night. Off to Cena who cleans house and the young ones begin to cheer. Christian escapes the AA but can’t get the tornado DDT.

Powerslam puts Christian down but he tries his cross body out of the corner and jumps into the AA which is blocked again. Henry breaks up the STF but misses a charge at Sheamus and they hit the floor. A running shoulder block off the apron takes Henry down and Christian gets a spear for two on Cena for two. Killswitch is countered and Christian is shoved into a Brogue Kick and the AA for the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag and that’s it. There’s nothing too great here but they were trying. It was very reminiscent of a Smackdown main event and that’s fine. With only 7 minutes to work with at the very end of the show there’s only so much that they can do. This wasn’t bad but it worked pretty well.

To end the show, Punk comes in to HHH’s office and the match with Nash is off. Instead, it’s Punk vs. HHH. Oh my.

Overall Rating: B. This was back and forth. The first hour has some HUGE stuff going on including the big white elephant in the room: the brand split being over on Mondays. That breathed a lot of life into this show as you got interactions with guys that haven’t been around each other in awhile. It makes things a lot more fresh and keeps us from having to sit through the same set of matches week in and week out. Definitely a plus there.

The wrestling was great in the first hour with two rather good matches. After that it kept being good but it was a step down. The drama is good stuff right now and the whole show is clicking in a way it hasn’t in a very long time. With the injection of some fresh blood with the Smackdown guys, I’m hyped up for Raw in the future. Good show.

Results

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

CM Punk b. The Miz via DQ when R-Truth interfered

Sin Cara b. Jack Swagger – Lionsault

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly – Pin after a facejam from Nikki Bella

John Cena/Sheamus b. Christian/Mark Henry – AA to Christian

Smackdown
Date: August 26, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re still in Canada and we’re into the Henry as #1 contender era. The main event tonight is him vs. Sheamus in a Summerslam rematch that hopefully is as good as last time. I’m really hoping they don’t end Sheamus’ momentum already but maybe they won’t. Since we’re in Canada there’s also a little surprise in store. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Henry being dominant last week in the battle royal and getting the shot at Orton.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is 4000 miles separating you from someone you want to be with more than anything.

Remember that surprise I mentioned? Bret Hart is here to open the show. Bret says he’s not here tonight so HHH has named him Guest GM for the night. See, THIS is what legends should be doing. Flair would be perfect for something like this. Have a show in Charlotte? Have Flair pop in and be a guest host or a guest referee or something. Bret mentions that Tuesday will be a special live Super Smackdown which is a double branded show.

Bret says he’s looking forward to the main event which will be Henry vs. Orton for the title. That brings out Christian who says he blames his loss at Summerslam on Bret’s friend Edge. Due to Edge doing what he did, Christian couldn’t concentrate and he lost the title. Bret says Christian is getting really whiny, becoming an embarrassment to himself, the world title, the WWE Universe and to Canada. OH NO HE DIDN’T! Christian needs to start at the bottom and work his way back up.

Christian says that guys like Bret and Edge are the real embarrassments because they can’t let it go. He thinks maybe they’re jealous because he’s the only relevant Canadian. Christian pulls out a document saying he gets a title rematch next week on Smackdown. Bret says he does, but it needs to be a special kind of match. The more famous Canadian makes it a steel cage match and Christian isn’t happy.

That brings out Mark Henry and Christian heads to the floor. Henry says he’s tired of this disrespect after 15 years in the company and he earned his title match last week. If he doesn’t get it, someone is going to be hurt. He wants the winner of the cage match and as much as he respects Bret, he can’t be held responsible for what happens if he doesn’t get the shot. Since three people taking 15 minutes to talk hasn’t been enough, here’s Sheamus!

The great white (which is what Cole called him earlier so don’t jump on me) talks about his uncle’s farm and a big black bull there. The bull kept destroying everything in sight so one day his uncle castrated said bull. Sheamus charges and the fight is on! Henry gets knocked to the floor and the staredown finally takes us to a break.

Christian vs. Daniel Bryan

This was set up during the break. As Bryan is coming to the ring we get a quick video package on him. Cole thinks Bryan is planning something and won’t cash in at Mania but rather like everyone else has. It’s a basic match to start as Bryan tries his strikes and Christian tries his usual stuff.

There’s the big dive (the announcers don’t react to it until the replay because they’re talking about how the champion always gets a rematch after losing. Not exactly but who cares about history in this company?) and Bryan hooks a surfboard. Christian escapes the hold though and takes over as we take a break. Back with a chinlock on and the fans are behind Christian as is expected.

Bryan gets a shot in and the missile dropkick out of nowhere for two. So far the count of Booker calling him “D. Bryan, one of my Fave Five” is at three. The pendulum kick is blocked in the corner and Bryan rips off some kicks and a knee to the chest for two. Christian does his stand on the guy’s back while they’re in the 619 position and the uppercut for two.

Spear is countered by a kick but Bryan slips on his moonsault and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner. Bryan rolls through and hits the spin kick (with Christian looking stupid for sitting there for two). Top rope rana is countered and Christian (called the Professor by Booker) hooks a tornado DDT for two. Killswitch is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but the Canadian makes the rope. Out of almost nowhere the Killswitch ends this at 8:08 shown of 11:38.

Rating: B. Another good and long TV match from Smackdown as is their custom. I’ve heard some people saying Bryan is being buried or depushed, but since he’s won the case the worst loss he’s had is to Wade Barret who is hardly a nobody. He’s got (arguably) a better resume than Bryan in WWE at this point and it was a good match. Bryan has had consistently good matches against top level competition and I can’t get why people would think he’s been depushed.

Aksana says watch Super Smackdown.

Wade Barrett vs. ???

It’s a jobber but his name is never given. Barrett grabs the mic and says he’s done a lot and this is an insult because this is beneath him as a man and asking him to face a man such as this is an insult. Barrett walks off and there’s no match.

Raw ReBound eats up some time. It’s about Cena vs. Punk.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

I’m not sure which Cara this is but he’s got some solid abs. It’s now the one man Southern rock band and his music sounds like that a bit as well. Del Rio vs. Sin Cara on Tuesday. Slater goes right after Cara to open things up and the fans aren’t thrilled. We hear about Slater’s background in listening to southern rock. I know the writers are lacking for characters a bit but a guy that listens to music is the best they’ve got? Anyway as the announcers argue a bit Cara hits the big cross body to the floor and the slingshot swanton and the Lionsault end this at 1:42. What the heck was that?

On a side note, from what I understand this match was taped twice because the first time was so horrible it had to be redone because it couldn’t air.

We get a recap of Orton being confronted by Legacy and the RKO to DiBiase before he could get much out at all.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

Rhodes talks about being a miracle worker and that he’s resurrecting the title, which I hope is true. Basic stuff on the mat to start until Randy takes over. Shoulder block gets two for DiBiase. It’s more or less a standoff and I think they’ll have a decent amount of time to work with here. Orton gets going and stomps away to continue the slow pace of this match. DiBiase gets the following clothesline for two and a pop from the crowd. That Bizarro Land tag is pretty true.

Ted’s dropkick is countered into a slingshot and Orton unleashes his clotheslines. A move that I refuse to call a Thesz Press hits but Cody breaks up the elevated DDT. Randy tries an RKO on the floor on Cody but DiBiase hits a baseball slide to save and we take a break. Back with Orton getting taken down by a dropkick for two. Ted goes up but Orton fires off right hands and gets a superplex for two.

Orton initiates his finishing sequences and might be bleeding from his head a bit. Powerslam sets up the backbreaker but Ted counters the latter into a rollup for two. They’re trying to play up the idea that Ted knows Randy so well that he can counter everything. Dream Street is countered into a European Uppercut and there’s the elevated DDT. RKO attempt is countered into a Dream Street attempt which is reversed. Ted tries another following clothesline but walks into the RKO for the pin at 8:40 shown of 12:10.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match but I wasn’t feeling it. These two didn’t click and after three months of Christian vs. Orton, it’s kind of hard to get into these two having such an uninteresting match. It wasn’t bad I guess but Orton needs the right guy to bring him out of his boring area and DiBiase isn’t that guy.

Post match Cody takes out Ted with Cross Rhodes. Ted gets a bagging.

Kelly Kelly vs. Tamina

A quick inset promo by Natalya says Kelly is a real Barbie doll but she doesn’t play with dolls. Do these more often WWE. They’re a great way to give the characters TV time and let them say a little something. Booker has dubbed Tamina the Warrior Princess. Kelly does her usual stuff and spanks Tamina a bit. Tamina knocks Kelly down on a headscissors attempt and we talk about Tamina’s basketball career. Cole: “Tamina once had 69 rebounds in a game.” Booker: “That’s like Wilt Chamberlain scoring 100 points but from a female perspective.” Yeah I’ve got nothing. Stink Face and a bad K2 end this at 2:45.

Jinder Mahal blames Khali for losing the battle royal last week and says Khali has been reeducated to only serve Mahal. Tonight, the target is Ezekiel Jackson.

Great Khali vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Khali shoves him around to start so Jackson charges straight at him. That makes sense for him as it’s worked against everyone else and why shouldn’t he use it again here? We get the backstory again about Khali and Mahal. Off to the nerve hold which doesn’t last long. Jackson starts firing off his clotheslines in the corner but Khali gets the big boot up. Here’s the vice grip but since Khali is a heel his submission hold is useless and Jackson breaks it as well as makes a rope. Mahal tries to cheat and gets dropped, allowing Jackson to get the torture rack for the tap out at 2:55. Ok that was impressive.

Orton says he isn’t worried about Christian and then it’s on to Henry.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil, which I think we’ve now seen some form of about 193 times if my math is correct. The difference here: it’s a lot longer.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

This is a rematch from Summerslam which they’ve played up about as much as humanly possible tonight. Booker says he’d be upset if he had been here 15 years like Henry had and got disrespected. It really has been 15 years. It seems like at least 16 or so. This is what you would expect from these two: a power brawl. Sheamus takes over to start and then Henry uses his power to take him back down.

Henry steps on his chest but Sheamus fires off some right hands. That goes nowhere as Henry headbutts him back down. What would a power match be without the heel throwing on a bear hug? They keep up the idea of Sheamus trying to get some shots in but Henry is too strong. Henry sets for a gorilla press but Sheamus counters into a pretty nice DDT.

He fires off the axe handles and then the forearms while Henry is in the ropes. A flying shoulder block gets two off the top. Henry rolls to the floor and the fun starts. Henry pulls him to the floor and then sends him literally flying into the barricade. Henry loads up the announce table but Sheamus counters the Slam and gets a big old Brogue Kick to send Henry over the table. Sheamus slides in to beat the count at 7:33.

Rating: C. This was really all they could do here and it’s the right move. They’re even now and Sheamus has a reason to want another crack at Henry because neither has the definitive win yet. This was exactly what you would expect in the form of a brawl and that’s what it should have been. There’s no need to have these guys try to be something they’re not and this match was watchable because of it.

Henry goes nuts after the match and manages to ram Sheamus into the apron. Sheamus fights back and rams Henry into the post but he tries to throw the steps at Henry at the post and misses. A World’s Strongest Slam onto the steps ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well with two long matches and the usual nothing bad from Smackdown you can’t call it a bad show. This was more of a placeholder show as the Super Smackdown was the focus, as it should be. Bret was a nice surprise but I would have liked to see him more than in just the opening segment. The Tuesday show was set up well and that’s the important thing right here. Good show but it was missing something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri