Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVII (Original): The Great One

Wrestlemania 17
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman
Star Spangled Banner: N/A

And here it is. This show makes up for the back to back lousy shows. This review is going to be extremely biased as I’ve made no secret to the fact that I think this is the greatest PPV of all time, as do many others. Some, including me, say that this was the end of the Attitude Era. WCW and ECW were both gone in their original forms by this point and the WWF reigned supreme.

While I’ll save the backstories for the individual matches, WCW going out of business plays a role later on in the show in case you didn’t know. I used to have the original on video but I’ve misplaced it since then. It might have ran away as I’ve probably watched this show 75 times all the way through. Does it still hold that honor, almost 8 years later? Let’s find out.
We start with a bit of a strange video of people all over the world watching Wrestlemania, implying that it’s almost a spiritual event. One thing I don’t get though: a man and a woman curl up in the back of a car to watch it. Since when can you get PPV in the back of a car? I think I’m looking too deeply into this. Let’s get on with the show.

The main event here is the face vs. face rematch of Austin and the Rock, which was absolutely the only choice for the main event as neither had anyone even remotely close to them. If this tells you anything, the second biggest match on the card was Taker vs. HHH. Even that, two of the biggest stars of all time going at it pales in comparison.

The version I’m watching has Limp Biskit’s My Way in it. The edited version sees it replaced by a song called Adrenaline Rush. This was used as the recap song for Impact, and this DVD of WM came out after that song was used by TNA. There’s something great about that. We are live in the Houston Astrodome, making this the first of the stadium Manias in quite some time.

It really makes it look better to me as there are almost 4 times as many people as there were at some Manias. The ring looks tiny and I love the visuals here. Paul Heyman is your analyst tonight as Lawler had quit the company. His wife, diva the Kat, had been released from the company for reasons unclear. Lawler thought it wasn’t fair so he quit as well. The witch then left him, causing him to lose his pride and come crawling back to Vince.

Enough talking. On with the action! And more talking, but I guess that goes with the territory.
Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

This was during the time when Regal was the Commissioner of the company. On his first night with that job, Jericho had some out and asked him to shut up. Regal responded by putting Jericho in various handicap matches. Jericho fights back by having Kane and Undertaker destroy his office and relieving himself in Regal’s tea. We get this match to resolve this feud. In the time it took me to type that, Jericho has finally made his way to the ring.

Jericho also did a thing on Raw where he dressed up as Doink to beat up Regal. Never got the point of that one. Another aspect of the story is Regal beat up Jericho on Smackdown, injuring Jericho’s left shoulder with his finishing move known as the Regal Stretch. During Regal’s entrance we see the recap of what I just told you about. The aisle is LONG here so there’s time for a lot of talking and recapping during entrances.

Jericho gets a clothesline to start and the forearm sets up some mounted punches. Spinwheel kick puts Regal on the floor and Jericho is like screw it and hits a plancha to take Regal down. Heyman is fired up to be here to put it mildly. Top rope back elbow gets two and Jericho tries the Walls which he can’t hook on. Regal’s chest is RED from those chops. He manages to send Jericho shoulder first into the post and there goes the momentum. He does it again just for emphasis.

Suplex gets two and Regal works over the arm again. Jericho tries a quick Lionsault which misses and Regal gets a rollup for two. Another suplex gets two. Regal pulls the turnbuckle pad and Jericho’s shoulder goes into it twice. The referee is all cool with this I guess. Jericho fires off some enziguris to break things up a bit, called martial arts by Ross.

Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two for Jericho. He charges at Regal in the corner but misses. Regal manages to get a butterfly suplex off the top which oddly works for him. No cover though as Regal is down. Scratch that as it was just delayed and it gets two. Belly to back is reversed into a Walls attempt but the shoulder gives out and he can’t do it.

Regal locks on the Regal Stretch and Jericho is reeling. There’s the rope though with a lunge. That’s not quite the STF as it’s more of a half nelson instead of a crossface. More chops by Jericho and he rams Regal into the buckle that was exposed. Bulldog sets up the Lionsault and it’s over very abruptly. I think they ended it early as Ross sounded surprised that it ended there.
Rating: B. Not long enough to be great, but there’s no dead spots and both guys beat on each other really well. Solid opener between two guys that know what they’re doing out there. It always helps when you can tell these guys know what they’re doing and want to be out there. Good stuff and a very good opener.

Shane arrives late, complete with a WCW license plate. Surely a collector’s item.

APA and Jackie are in the back but they can’t find Tazz. Bradshaw doesn’t like that, and he says a great promo: “You don’t understand. It’s Wrestlemania! Heart are going to be broke. Legends are going to be made. Egos are going to be shattered and people are going to be kicked. We’ve got a match, LET’S GO!” Dang indeed.

APA/Tazz vs. Right To Censor

It’s my Lee special here. Very simple backstory here: RTC hates the APA because they smoke and drink. Tazz is just kind of there for the ride. I think RTC got on him for being a thug but that was minor. Paul Heyman makes some jokes saying they’re extremists, and when I hate something extreme, you know it’s bad. The one flaw to this show might be the entrance to the ring. Tazz is still walking when APA’s music hits.

Heyman’s jokes about Texas are great as you can tell he doesn’t like the place. If there’s a bad match on the show, this is definitely it. RTC in this case is Val Venis, Godfather and Buchanan. Jackie and Stevie are the backups on the floor. Val and Taz start slug it out on the floor and then in the ring so they start us off I guess.

Jackie DDTs Stevie as this is a big brawl to start. Ok never mind as it’s Buchanan vs. Farrooq to officially get us going here. Buchanan could certainly move for someone his size but he walks into a powerslam by Farrooq. Off to Tazz now as the beating is on. Big boot breaks that up and here comes the RTC. That could be a really bad sitcom.

Val comes in with some knees to Tazz’s ribs. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Tazz is sent into the ropes and falls into them in something resembling a botch. Goodfather gets an elbow to take him down and a belly to back gets two. The former Ho Train hits but a Vader Bomb misses. Bradshaw comes in and cleans house, barely getting Goodfather over with a backdrop.

Everything breaks down and it’s a double spinebuster for Val, followed by a belly to back off the top rope. The roof looks like a spaceship or something and every time they show it the thing looks awesome. Another not Ho Train misses and the Clotheslin ends Goodfather.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it was far from great. They kept this short, which is good because there was really no point to this. Fast paced and the APA beating people up was always fun. If this is the worst match on the show, I can more than live with it as this was perfectly fine but would have been better suited on Raw I think.

In the back, Trish brings in Linda in her wheelchair to meet Stephanie. Might as well give you the story now. Vince had said he wanted a divorce from Linda, who had a nervous breakdown because of it. Vince put her in an asylum or a rest home or something like that while he had an open affair with Trish. This was highlighted by a famous scene where Trish said she’d do anything for him so in the ring he had her strip to her underwear and crawl around, barking like a dog.

Shane reappeared and was furious with his dad for all of this so he challenged him to a street fight. With HHH’s help, Vince beat Shane down. However, the Monday before Mania, it was announced that Vince had (legitimately) bought WCW. However, in kayfabe, he had wanted to sign the contract at Wrestlemania.

Shane took this opportunity to sneak in and buy WCW from Vince, signing the papers that Monday instead of waiting. Shane showed up on the final Nitro to announce it, 6 days before the street fight. This eventually led to Stephanie “buying” ECW and the dreadful Alliance angle that took over the company all Summer. Had it not been for HHH tearing his quad, this angle could have been the biggest of all time. But that’s another story for another time. Anyway, Stephanie treats Trish like crap and she just takes it. There’s a joke there somewhere.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

No real story here other than giving Raven an impossible set of opponents to defend the title against. Paul’s advice to Raven: run a lot. I can’t say I disagree. Heyman says he’s a fearless man which gets a funny response from Ross of “let’s not get carried away here.” Kane and Raven go at it before Show gets here. Raven jumps him with a piece of plastic which gets him nowhere.

Here comes Show who takes his time getting to the ring. Someone in the front row wave a Twinkie and he’ll be here in seconds. With Show on his way, Kane presses Raven onto him over the top. Show catches him and tries the Final Cut (why call it that anyway? I never got that name) but Kane takes Show down with a top rope clothesline to the floor for two.

We’re in the crowd already and that’s the last time we’ll be in the ring all match. Show is in his swimsuit here. The cameraman has to try to follow these guys which doesn’t work at all. Show and Kane hammer on each other as Raven is nowhere to be seen. Ah there he is with a plastic something or other.

Kane grabs Raven and throws him into a wall which has a hole in it now. Show slams Kane onto some pallets that are made of wood and chases Raven down. They go into some caged storage area which Show locks. Kane is like screw that and rips the door off and they keep up the fight. They look like it’s all cleaning supplies or something like that.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose and they go out of the cage place. Kane keeps choking with the hose and then picks him up, throwing him by the neck through a glass window of an office kind of place. Show, not to be out done, knocks Kane through the door. Show wants the chokeslam on the floor but Kane fights him off, knocking him through the wall into another room.

Raven stumbles in and tries to get a shot in which gets him nowhere. The champion steals a golf cart but Show jumps on the back. Kane gets one of his own and brings the referee to chase after Raven and Show. He almost runs over Raven’s leg as we hit catering. Raven is thrown into the Snapple and the coffee much to Paul’s dismay.

You can tell they’re getting tired here as we hit the Gorilla Position. They come out to the stage as the giants stalk Raven. Kane goes off on Show but runs into a clothesline to take him down. Show picks up Raven to toss him off the stage but Kane kicks Show off the stage and into part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg onto them and pins Show to get the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great. It was meant to be a wild brawl and that’s exactly what it was. We knew Raven would lose, just not who he would lose to. Quite well done and fine for what it was. This was designed to be a fun hardcore match and it worked just fine as that.

Angle is watching a video of him tapping to the Crossface. Edge and Christian come up to talk but Angle doesn’t feel very chatty. He looks for what it means to officially tap out, saying that since it wasn’t a match, he didn’t actually tap. This is intense Kurt and it works really well.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York, a nightclub/restaurant that was WWE themed. That would have been awesome.

There’s an Aussie at the show. Kind of cool actually that someone flew 30 hours from Australia for the show. There’s a REALLY bad edit here as I remember the woman saying WWF at least twice. It’s really badly covered up here. Stupid panda loving hippies.

Rock arrives at the arena, 45 minutes into the show.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Always sad to see the two dead people wrestling on any show. Dang Eddie’s music was sweet. Don’t really think there was much of a story here other than Eddie is your challenger. That belt just looks tiny on Test. Eddie was a guest referee on Raw in a match with X-Pac which I think happened once the match was made. Paul explains that Texas is part of Mexico. I love Heyman at times.

Test gets a gutwrench powerbomb almost immediately so we hit the floor after the two. Saturn is on the floor and in Eddie’s corner. Test dominates with power here but gets caught going up on the inside. Eddie tries a rana and either they botch it or Test didn’t know what was coming as he just stays there. Test gets a shot from the middle rope for two and hammers away even more.

A big boot by the Canadian misses and Test gets all caught up in the ropes. Eddie more or less rolls his eyes as he has to unhook Test who falls to the floor. Eddie hammers on the ankle and we go back into the ring. We kind of hit a lull as there isn’t much going on here. A sleeper by Eddie wastes some time. Test gets a tilt-a-whirl slam to break the momentum and they slug it out some.

Another tilt-a-whirl is spun into a powerbomb by Test for two which looked awesome. Test wants the Full Nelson Slam but Eddie gets a low blow, allowing Saturn to hit the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (it’s a neckbreaker and yes that’s the real name) for two. Ross shouts about there being a third man in the ring. That’s very true JR. He’s called a referee.

Frog Splash misses and the pumphandle slam only gets two as Saturn distracts. Big boot is loaded up and Saturn interferes again, taking the least convincing big boot ever. Another boot to Eddie gets two as Dean Malenko interferes. Test had to wait to cover Eddie forever because Dean took awhile to get to the ring. Saturn throws in the belt and Eddie pops Test to win the title.
Rating: C-. This is easily the worst match of the show and it’s not completely terrible. Eddie clearly carries it but Test’s power offense was always fun. Not terrible, but for a Mania match, this was pretty bad. Definitely could have been left out and put on Heat instead. Also this probably should have been about two minutes shorter.

Mick Foley, the guest referee for the street fight says that he’s not at all biased towards Vince for beating him up and firing him on national TV. He’s calling a fair match tonight.

And he’s going to do it right here, in Houston, Texas!

Austin is just getting here. Good grief the tardiness! We’re an hour into the show almost and he’s just getting here? Someone fine this guy and give him a stern lecture!

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Ok, here’s your story reenactment. 6 days ago on Raw:

Benoit: I don’t have a match at Mania.

Kurt: Neither do I.

Both: Let’s have a match.

Seriously, that’s it. This was thrown on the card because two top stars had nothing to do at all. Angle runs down the Texas fans for the cowboy hats. Also the flag is missing 49 stars. That’s hilarious. Paul: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Never let it be said he doesn’t say what he was thinking.

Naturally we hit the mat to start as this is about as technical as you can get. The fans applaud the standoff as they probably should. Back to the mat and it’s another standoff. We hear about how great they both are and it’s amazing to me that Angle has only been a pro for a year and a half now. That’s incredible. Angle overpowers Benoit and grabs a suplex kind of move.

Back to the mat again as this is almost all grappling so far. Angle tries for the ankle but it’s back to just laying on Benoit. This is very different but still incredibly interesting as you can see that they both know what they’re doing on a man. Benoit almost gets the Crossface but Angle makes a rope. Another single leg by Angle but Benoit tries the Crossface again, only for Angle to get to the ropes again.

More grappling and again Benoit can’t quite get the hold on before the rope is grabbed. Angle pops him with a right hand and it’s time to fight. Out to the floor and Angle whips Benoit into the steps to really take over. Back in the ring and Angle gets a vertical suplex for two. Make it a pair of both. Benoit fights back with HARD chops but walks into a belly to belly to get a woo out of Angle.

Another belly to belly has Benoit in trouble. We get a Jack Brisco reference which results in another argument from Ross and Heyman. More chops by Benoit and momentum shifts a bit. Snap suplex gets two as Benoit channels his inner Dynamite Kid. Superplex off the top puts Angle down but Benoit can’t cover. Blast it stop with the delayed covers!!! It gets two as you would expect.

Time for the Rolling Germans as Angle is in trouble again. Angle reverses into the ankle lock attempt but Benoit counters into an ankle lock of his own. Crossface attempt number four but Angle has a hand between the grip and the face, allowing him to get a rollup to escape. Angle grabs a Crossface of his own which might look more painful than Benoit’s.

Down goes the referee (of course) and Benoit gets the Crossface. Angle taps (of course again) but there’s no referee. Benoit (of course) lets go of the hold instead of waiting on the referee and Angle gets the Angle Slam for two (wow these guys are predictable). Moonsault misses (that might have hit 5 times ever. I’ll stop with the parentheses now) but the headbutt gets two. Benoit tries a suplex but Angle gets a low blow and cradles Benoit with tights to end this out of nowhere.
Rating: B+. The finish kills this for me. These two are two of the best workers of all time and we need a pull of the tights for a pin? That doesn’t fly with me. However, the other stuff they did is absolutely great. If you can believe this, this isn’t even close to their best match ever. For that, check Royal Rumble 2003. That match is a candidate for greatest match of all time. I’ve been watching these two for years and I’ve yet to see a bad match from them.

Kamala is in William Regal’s office. Hilarity ensues. Heyman shakes his head like he’s waking up from a nightmare.

We see a video of a Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, Texas. This was really cool I thought. A bunch of wrestlers, mainly some divas, Angle and Taker visited the soldiers. Factor in that 9/11 was about 5 months away so soldiers at home were still the biggest thing I suppose. The commander got a nice WWF recliner and the wrestlers got plaques. Lita doesn’t seem thrilled about being there. Angle like it but would rather have a medal.

Angle is upset about something, saying he deserves the title. Benoit attacks and locks on the crossface and Angle taps again.

We see the recap of Chyna vs. Ivory. The idea here was that Chyna had a bad neck, allegedly caused by Ivory. Ivory, as a member of RTC, wasn’t happy with Chyna being in Playboy. Now this is the time where I’ll embarrass myself. At the time, Ivory was kind of like the evil feminist. To steal the term from JR, imagine Lillith from Cheers or Frasier as a wrestler.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

The only good thing here is Chyna more or less in a purple bikini. She launches a bunch of pyro with this big gun she carried with her at this time. What do you expect here? This might last three minutes as Chyna annihilates Ivory. Ivory gets in a few shots and that’s about all. It ends with a press slam and Chyna officially murders the division to get the title. It took that mistress from Canada and the redhead to save it.

Rating: N/A. Not a match, but a squash. The problem here was that Chyna was a former IC Champion and had some great matches with men, including clean pins over guys like Jericho. Why should we believe that anyone else had a chance against her? Simply put, we didn’t. There was one good thing though. At this time, Chyna wanted money the likes of which Taker and HHH were getting.

Vince is a bit loony some times, but even he knew that was never going to happen. Chyna was gone within three months and the real women’s wrestlers were able to revive the division, including one of the best rivalries I’ve ever seen in Trish vs. Lita. This was a total slap in the face of the Women’s Division though.

In the back, Vince tells Michael Cole that he’ll get something shocking tonight.

I already recapped this feud above so read about it there.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Naturally this is a street fight. Can someone explain why Shane, the face, is the one owning the invaders but Vince, the guy that represents the home grown talent is the heel? No one else could either so finally in June they made the change to fix this and we got the Alliance. We see some WCW people in a box in the rafters. Some faces I can identify: Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak, Bobby Eaton, Chavo Guerrero and that’s it. Seriously? That’s the best you’ve got? And people have the nerve to ask why this bombed.

Vince and Shane have the same music which is kind of odd. Foley is the referee. Stephanie is with Vince and there’s no sign of Trish or Linda. Vince pummels Shane to start us off and Shane is in trouble. Shane fires back with basic strikes until Stephanie comes in to distract him. He hammers on Vince with a sign of some kind and adds a clothesline to keep Vince down. Some kendo stick shots have Vince in big trouble.
After some punches, Shane smashes him in the head with a monitor in an absolutely sick shot and lays him on the… wait for it. Wait for it. It’s coming. HE LAYS HIM ON THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! WOW! What a cool idea! Who would have ever thought of putting someone on there? Also, who makes those tables? They’re making a fortune which is impressive because they apparently make REALLY bad tables.

Shane goes to the top and launches a picture perfect elbow drop onto Vince but Stephanie pulls him out of the way as Shane “crashed, and he for sure, BURNED!” according to your favorite Oklahoman. At this point, Trish brings out Linda in the wheelchair. The cleavage on Trish is mind blowing here, especially compared to Stephanie who hasn’t had her plastic surgery done yet. It’s kind of odd looking actually.

Anyway, Trish starts helping Stephanie up but turns face by slapping the tar out of Vince. We get a cat fight and Foley pulls them apart before Stephanie slaps him. Trish chases her down the aisle and in the worst acting job of all time, she “falls” running down the aisle and Trish nearly catches her. Back at ringside, Vince nails Foley with a chair as Foley tries to protect Linda from Vince.

Vince puts Linda in the ring. He throws Shane and four garbage cans into the ring. Linda stands up and the crowd pops. Vince turns to see her and spreads his legs open to set up Linda kicking him low. Foley beats the tar out of Vince to allow Shane the chance to set up a Coast to Coast in an amazing athletic move to get the pin, as apparently he, Trish, Foley and Linda worked together to screw Vince over. They walk to the back as Vince’s, uh I mean Shane’s, or is it Vince’s, no wait it’s Shane’s I think, music plays. Get your own bad rap music already Shane!

Rating: B. This was a messy brawl, but given who it was and the ending, it was fun. Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers, but they can put on a passable fight. That dropkick from Shane is always cool and this was its debut. To have all of these angles come together in one match is really quite impressive.

We see the Hardys at Access talking about how they’re going to put their bodies on the line to win the tag titles. Truer words have never been spoken.

We cut to HHH getting ready for no apparent reason before cutting to Taker for no apparent reason. Dang that X7 baseball jersey was sweet. Always wanted one of those.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This is yet another match with no story but it never needed one. These three teams all wanted to be the champions and this match was fairly obvious. The Dudleys come in as champions here. All four faces jump the Canadians to get us going here. The Dudleys hit a flapjack to Christian as the beating is on. The Hardys take down the Dudleys for awhile until Edge and Christian bring in a ladder.

Edge grabs a chair and he and Christian stand on Matt’s balls in the corner. A double drop toehold by the Canadians puts Jeff into the chair. Edge tries to get the belts but Jeff makes the save. The Hardys get a double baseball slide into a ladder into the Dudleys on the floor. Using a pair of ladders, Matt drops a leg and Jeff drops a splash on Christian at the same time. Nice move.

There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the girls. What’s Up to Edge And now it’s table time. Edge is laid out on one so Bubba picks up Jeff and powerbombs him right through Edge and in turn the table. On the floor now and the Dudleys stack up two tables on top of two more tables for the big spot later in the match. Paul talks about Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Oh dear.

More ladders are brought in and in a spot that still makes me and the crowd breathe in, Bubba takes a ladder and just bashes Matt in the head with it. That has to hurt something fierce. All six guys go up at once and all six guys come crashing down almost at once with some hitting ropes, some hitting mat and some hitting ropes. Christian goes flying to the floor which looks AWESOME from the above the ring camera.

He sets up a table on the floor as Edge tries to go up. Spike Dudley who was injured by Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno, comes out and takes down Edge and hits a Dudley Dog to Christian through the table. Jeff goes up but it’s Rhyno out now for the save. Gee I wonder who will come out to help out the Hardys. Rhyno destroys everyone and here’s Lita.

She stops Edge from going up but gets caught in a gorilla press by Rhyno. Spike saves her and it’s a Litarana for Rhyno. Spike hits Rhyno with a chair and he falls into a ladder, sending Edge down. Dudleyville (Doomsday) Device to Rhyno and he’s finally down. Lita takes her top off (looking incredibly good in a black bra) but walks into a 3D. Chair shots by the Canadians take out the Dudleys and Edge wants the big ladder.

Jeff gets the large ladder though and hits a Swanton onto Rhyno and Spike who are both on tables. Spike takes the whole thing and Rhyno’s table doesn’t even break. That was ALL Spike. The big ladder is in the ring now and set up in the middle of the ring. Christian and D-Von go up but Matt moves the ladder under them (with a shout of HERE WE GO first) and they’re stuck hanging there.

After both fall, Jeff walks across the top of the three other ladders (kind of as the third one falls) to get to the titles. The big ladder is in the corner and Jeff goes up a regular one. The ladder is moved by Bubba and since Jeff’s feet were on it, Jeff goes swinging in the opposite direction, right into a spear by Edge from the super ladder, which is not only Edge’s Wrestlemania moment, but the moment that made him a star.

Back after about 5 replays with Bubba and Matt going up the big ladder. Rhyno shoves the ladder over and they go crashing through the four tables that were set up at ringside earlier. D-Von and Christian go up but Rhyno gets beneath Christian and climbs up with Christian on his shoulders, giving him the needed assist to win the titles again. Incredible match all around to say the least.
Rating: A+. These guys nearly killed each other. You can see that it’s miles better than last year because they knew what they were doing to a greater extent. That spear from Edge more or less ended Christian’s usefulness in the WWF as Edge began to get the singles push from here on out.

Either way, this match is great as it’s a total spot fest but it is still better than all of the MITB matches that would follow in its footsteps. If you’re bored here, go get a blood injection. The crowd ate this up and it just clicks all around as they somehow top the other matches they had which are also greats.

JR looks at the carnage and says it looks like a tornado went through a mobile home park. There are wrestling rings and ladders at a destroyed mobile home park?

Video on Axxess, which looks AWESOME. Various wrestlers say this is awesome, and they’re right. You can call matches, get autographs and see all kinds of exhibits. I’d love to go to something like this to say the lease.
There’s a record crowd for the Astrodome of 67,925. That’s very impressive.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

To any other old school freak like me, welcome to nostalgia heaven. We have 18 men in this and it’s nothing but the most off the wall gimmicks that the company could think of. Given some of the stuff WWF had done up to that point, this could be mind blowing. As an added bonus, Gene freaking Okerlund and BOBBY HEENAN do the commentary.

Oh my goodness, we have found the greatest Wrestlemania match of all time. During the entrances Bobby calls Gene Tony in a funny bit. Butch licks Mean Gene just like he did to me at a house show. The pop for Jim is ridiculous. You need to look all of these people up if nothing else to learn what bad gimmicks are all about.

The introductions took 5 minutes and the match lasts three minutes. The commentators mention that they’ve never seen a battle royal that ends so fast. Doink getting eliminated brings forth the loudest booing all night which doesn’t surprise me at all. The fans are totally into this which makes me smile.

Sheik wins if you’re interested. After that Slaughter comes back in and beats him up. Sheik won this because he wasn’t able to be thrown over the top rope due to age. Nothing in the match means anything which is why I’m not even going to list it off. Slaughter puts him in the Cobra Clutch post match because he’s an AMERICAN.

Rating: N/A as it’s not a serious match but I don’t ever remember having more fun with a single match. Even at 13 I knew this was cool and it still is to this day. The fans being 100% into it makes me very happy as it’s obvious they still like these guys. While a lot of matches like these bomb badly, the battle royal was a great idea as it kept things quick. Excellent match and all kinds of fun.

Now it’s time to get to the real meat of the show. Somehow, everything we’ve seen so far has been appetizer. That is unbelievable considering what we’ve seen so far. Seriously, TLC, Benoit/Angle or the street fight could be the second big match on any other card, but that’s not what we get as the second big match. We get this.

We recap HHH vs. The Undertaker. HHH beats Austin twice in a row and says there’s no one left for him to beat. We hear a gong, and I lost it. This was amazing and I knew it would be a classic. Taker gets in HHH’s face and says that HHH has never beaten him, but if HHH tries, Taker will make him famous. Over the next 5 weeks, we got the great build up.

HHH destroyed one of Taker’s bikes, had Taker sent to jail, etc. Taker gets ahold of HHH one night, so Stephanie issues a restraining order on Taker. However, there isn’t one against Kane. Kane chases Stephanie, allowing Taker to beat up HHH. Kane holds her over his head and threatens to throw her down from a balcony, unless Regal makes the one on one match at Mania. Taker obviously gets his wish, and here we are.

Undertaker vs. HHH

Back then, HHH was a bigger star than he is now. He beat Austin, the king of the world, twice in one night the previous month. Taker was about 8 months into his biker gimmick and was a step behind what he used to be at though. However, this was his hometown and it’s Wrestlemania, although this is before the Streak became important.

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and it is freaking awesome. They play the verse and chorus all the way through before we cut to a long shot of the arena and we see Triple H, Start Game flash on the screen, then a small object appears beneath it. Cut to a shot of HHH and then back to the arena. My goodness these stadiums are awesome. The live band is always cool as they play him through the long walk down the aisle.

HHH does a double water spit so you know this is an important show. The song ends and HHH paces back and forth. We hear gong strikes, and the lights go out. DEAD MAN WALKING. Instead of walking down the huge ramp, Taker drives his bike down instead in another famous shot. The cool thing here is it’s long enough that he can crank it up and gets the bike flying down the aisle. Taker jumps in the ring, rips the shirt off and we’re on.

Just as Taker is about to start the fight, JR mentions that he is 8-0, undefeated at Wrestlemania. Ladies and Gentlemen, the streak is born. That’s the first time that it’s mentioned on WWF television to my knowledge, but certainly the first time at Wrestlemania. The fight starts on the floor with Taker hammering away. Guess what Taker knocks HHH through. Go on, I want you to guess. It rhymes with French announce table. You guessed it. Twice in one night has to be a record.

They slug it out in the ring and the knee to the face gets HHH nowhere. BIG back drop puts HHH down. Powerslam gets two and a big clothesline takes down HHH. Old School is countered. Not sure how HHH knew it was coming. Might be that Taker shouted out OLD SCHOOL right before he went for it. Just a hunch mind you. The Game hammers away on Taker including a trio of elbows. That and a neckbreaker gets three straight two counts.

HHH goes after the ref and gets shoved back which gets a huge pop. My goodness this crowd is white hot. Six minutes in and HHH gets the sledgehammer. Referee takes it from him so HHH tries a Pedigree which is blocked into a catapult and the referee goes down. Chokeslam gets two because the referee was slow thanks to him getting bumped.

Taker, being the ticked off man that he is, beats the referee up because of this. The throw that Taker sends HHH to the floor with is either great selling or a real throw. We go into the crowd and actually wind up at the production tower which has been seen maybe twice in company history. This is what the cameras sit on in the arena and where the sound is adjusted etc. Quite simply if they screw up here, the PPV goes off the air.

HHH now has a problem. He’s trying to run from Taker, but the only way to run is to keep climbing the tower. HHH finds a chair up there though and lands about 10 sick chair shots to Taker. They’re in a tiny place so Taker is laid out and HHH just hits him wherever he can with the chair. Great visual on that. Taker gets up and catches HHH after the Game poses. The flashbulbs are going so crazy it’s hard to see them for a little bit.

He then chokeslams him off the tower. Now think about why this is cool. No one has ever seen them fight here before so it’s unknown. There’s no referee as Taker beat him up. Most importantly, we don’t see HHH land. What did he land on? That’s what makes this cool: the total mystery of it. Sadly, we see he landed on a big pad, but it still must have knocked him out a bit. If not, the elbow Taker drops on him does. What’s a good American to do now? He beats up the EMTs of course.

They fight back to the ring and the referee is still down. What the heck? He got kicked and elbowed, not shot in the forehead. Taker gets the hammer and a low blow to make him drop it a few seconds later. Heyman talking about how dangerous weapons are is either a rib by him or the best unintentional comedy I’ve heard in a long time. HHH gets a tombstone countered because he’s not the Undertaker, and Taker breaks out the Tombstone for maybe the first or second time in a year plus.

The crowd loves it, but still there’s no referee. In a sweet finish, Taker goes for the Last Ride but HHH picks up the hammer and nails him in the head with it. That somehow only gets two. Taker is bleeding and HHH sends him to the corner to rain down right hands. He pauses for a split second to yell at the crowd, and Taker reaches up and grabs him before stepping forward, lifting him into the air and drilling him with the Last Ride! He gets the pin as the crowd explodes.

Rating: A+. This is an outstanding match and would have main evented any other show of the year. The story was great, the fighting was off the charts, and you never knew who was going to win until the very end. Excellent job from both guys involved and probably the true forgotten classic in Wrestlemania history.

Rock has a song coming out called Pie. The CD has Rock’s custom internet browser.

A kid that talks way too fast made some poster or visual thing and won a contest. Ok then.
Good grief what in the world could follow that? Somehow, that’s nowhere near the main event, as no one came to see anything but the real main event: the two biggest stars on the freaking planet, one on one for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship.

I can’t say anything that’s going to build this match up better than the actual video, so here it is.

[youtube]DxttU7_2-WA[/youtube]

If that doesn’t embed for you, go Youtube it. It’s incredible.

I’m not a big fan of Limp Biskit, but that was awesome. By far the best recap video I’ve ever seen and one of the only times the theme song could not have been any better for an event. Great job.

WWF World Heavyweight Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is made No DQ just before the match starts which is a surprise to everyone and it comes back to play a factor later. JR’s saying WHAT as soon as that’s announced made me laugh quite loudly. The glass shatters and the ovation is deafening. Austin is so over it’s amazing. He hits the first corner and the pop grows somehow. He turns around to cross the ring and it’s as if everything goes into slow motion. Austin climbs to the middle rope, throws two fingers into the air, and the flashbulbs go insane. It’s that moment that defines this whole show I think.

All of the other great matches all night long, from the wrestling classic to the ladders to the war we just saw, none of that means a thing anymore and every single eye in the building is on this man right here. It’s the peak of Steve Austin’s popularity and it’s amazing to say the very least. JR’s commentary is absolutely perfect here. It’s that perfect voice that we all know, but the words simply couldn’t be better. He builds this match up to be as epic as it should be. The music ends, and we hear the sound of his opponent.

Rock comes out to an INCREDIBLY mixed reaction. He’s either being cheered all the way to heaven or being booed out of the building. Not sure which. He hits the corner, throws the belt over his shoulder with his arm raised in the air, and we get the staredown from one side of the ring to the other. The feeling is all there too. You can tell what you’re watching is absolutely epic and it feel just right.

The fight starts almost immediately with Austin jumping Rock as he gets off the ropes. Thesz Press takes down Rock seconds into it but Rock fights back with a swinging neckbreaker. Rock Bottom and Stunner both don’t connect and we hit the floor. Out into the crowd they go with neither guy keeping an advantage at all. Back to the ring now with Austin having a brief advantage.

Superplex gets two and Austin takes the turnbuckle pad off. Rock fights back to massive booing and a clothesline for two. Back out to the floor again and Austin gets a shot with the bell to take Rock down. Rock is sent onto the table which breaks on a delay so the camera misses it. This is so epic. These two are the biggest stars in the world and this is the biggest match of the year. What more can you ask for?

Austin hits a neckbreaker for two. Mudhole stomping commences but Rock comes flying out with a clothesline to huge boos. More slugging it out with Rock in control now. Rock grabs the bell and gets a shot to the head with it for two. Austin is busted open and Rock hammers away. Oh man he’s bleeding BAD. Back to the floor again and they fight it out even more.

Another important thing to note is Ross. Ross has been mostly reserved all night but now he’s pouring it on. This makes this look FAR more interesting and intense while at the same time not diminishing the other stuff. Austin gets a slingshot to send Rock into the post. Monitor to the head and Rock is down on the floor. THAT gets two.

Austin flips Rock off and gets caught in the Sharpshooter for his efforts. Rock is busted now too. Great throwback here to Mania 13 as Austin screams in the hold. Rock pulls him back to the middle and Austin is in big trouble. Finally there’s the rope. Now Austin throws it on Rock and the people are loving it. After it gets broken it goes on again and this time it’s a rope used to escape. HUGE booing when he gets there too.

The Million Freaking Dollar Dream goes on and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock pushes off the corner ala Bret vs. Austin at Survivor Series 96 but this time Austin kicks out. Little things like those make matches AWESOME. Rock gets a Stunner out of nowhere for two.

And now we set up the ending as Vince McMahon is here. Both guys get spinebusters but Rock’s sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince slides in and breaks that up though, shocking everyone. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two. Crowd is losing it on these kickouts. Stunner is blocked and there goes the referee again.

A low blow puts Rock down and Austin asks Vince for a chair. Vince cracks Rock with it as the crowd isn’t sure what to do. Vince puts the referee back in but THAT gets two. A Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Vince has the referee. Rock pulls Vince in but walks into another Stunner for ANOTHER two. Austin is all ticked off now and Vince hands him a chair, drilling Rock with it for two. Austin absolutely explodes, drilling Rock with the chair an insane 19 times and getting the academic pin for the title. Rock is DEAD.

Rating: A+. The repeated finishers and chair shots hurt this quite a bit, but the crowd, the commentary and the overall feeling push this to the sky easily. Epic feeling the whole match and the crowd was in the palm of their hands. Not great wrestling, but the crowd carries this to greatness.

Austin and Vince shake hands, ending the Attitude Era and also ending the superpower that WWE was and marking the beginning of the decline of the company. They share a beer and another Stunner to Rock ends this very long but incredible show.

Overall Rating: A+. This is the greatest PPV of all time, bar none. The worst match is passable at worst. The crowd never once dies, even popping a bit in the European Title match. Looking back, you have the following matches that would either steal the show or main event any other show: Angle/Benoit, TLC 2, Street Fight, HHH/Taker.

Those are all top shelf matches anywhere you look at them, and then with the crowd as hot as they were for the main event and how it’s solid in its own right, this show is amazing all around. All night long the stuff was fast paced, everyone was having fun, and the matches are all intriguing. Can’t recommend this one enough.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2010 (2013 Redo): Dang That’s A Cool Poster

Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re getting close to the end of the run here with only three shows left. Tonight we’ve got the Rumble of course along with Undertaker defending against Mysterio and Sheamus defending against Orton. I remember really liking this one as the new generation had arrived and was rising up the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for awhile, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.

Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.

The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man that should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.

Cryme Tyme come in to try to get a second spot in the Rumble from Teddy and Tiffany. Khali says “no dice homeslice” to selling their spot because he’s keeping it real. Apparently he’s learned his English from Family Matters (Singh’s words, not mine). Ok then. Anyway US Champion the Miz comes in and laughs which causes him to have to defend against MVP.

Orton is in the back when Cody Rhodes comes in. He’s there for Randy in the title match tonight but that’s not all. Apparently DiBiase isn’t in on this because his mind is on winning the Rumble and taking the title from Orton.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

A quick clothesline gets two for MVP and he works on the champ’s ribs to start. Miz gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down but MVP comes right back with a belly to back suplex for two. They head to the floor for this gem from Striker: “Miz is one of the most recognizable faces on this planet.” I don’t think Miz is one of the most recognizable faces in this match.

Back in and Miz sends MVP to the apron and gets kicked into the table on the floor. Not that this is treated like anything of note because the announcers are laughing about Sherri Shepard from The View. Miz sends shoulders into MVP’s ribs in the corner followed by the running corner clothesline. A top rope double ax gets two for Miz and we hit the chinlock.

After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.

Rating: D+. If there was a reason for this to be on PPV other than the show was running short, I don’t know what it was. Miz didn’t look like anything special out there but somehow he would be world champion a year later. MVP on the other hand would be out of the WWE but he did well enough in Japan. Nothing to see here other than a filler match.

Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.

Show and Jericho, the former tag team champions, run into each other. Show accuses him of being jealous of the chemistry Show and Miz have but Jericho brushes it off. He calls the crowd gelatinous worms before pointing out all of the similarities he and Miz have. Show says he’ll throw both Miz and Jericho out to win the Rumble. R-Truth pops up and says he’ll do the same. Show leaves Jericho standing there much to Jericho’s chagrin.

DiBiase wishes Orton luck and says he’s got Randy’s back. Orton asks where Cody is but DiBiase doesn’t know. This was during the time when Legacy was about to die and both members were trying to get on Randy’s best side. DiBiase claims that Rhodes only wants to win the Rumble but Orton has heard enough. He doesn’t want anyone’s help and gets a clear face pop in response.

The National Guard is here.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Sheamus won the title in a shocker last month at TLC and is heel here. He’s also still not that good and wouldn’t really hit his stride for about a year and a half. They stare at each other to start and my goodness is Sheamus pale. A dropkick puts the champion down but he comes right back with a running ax handle. Sheamus gets in a shot to the arm and we head to the floor where said arm is sent into the steps.

Back in and Orton goes for the knee and things slow down a bit. Orton wouldn’t really pick up the pace of his offense until about the following year which made his matches pretty hard to sit through. Sheamus comes back by sending Orton’s shoulder into the post twice and hitting some shoulder blocks in the corner. That gets him nowhere though as Orton takes out the knee again and knocks Sheamus to the floor.

They head inside again and yet AGAIN momentum shifts back to Sheamus as he hits a DDT on the arm for two. Off to an armbar for a bit before they slug it out to the boo/yay chants. Orton wins the slugout but walks into the Irish Curse for two. The High Cross is escaped and Orton kicks Sheamus in the head to send him to the outside. Orton gets ready for the RKO but Rhodes jumps the guardrail and blasts Sheamus in the back before running away. The referee sees it though and despite Orton hitting the RKO, he’s disqualified and Sheamus keeps the title. Lame ending to a pretty lame match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, Sheamus just wasn’t very good yet. He was still this big imposing brawler who pounded on people and that’s about it. There was indeed a story in the match but it wasn’t a very entertaining one as they just kept beating on each other’s limbs but when there’s no difference because of the beating, the story doesn’t work. The ending didn’t help either but it did set up something in the future.

Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool. This was an awkward feud as Mickie won the title shot in a triple threat and then Laycool made fun of Mickie for being fat. This is of course odd as Mickie is a professional athlete and gorgeous and would only be called fat by a crazy person. It’s also pretty disturbing when you consider how WWE pushes the Divas as role models. The final bit of it was a segment where Mickie got beaten down and covered in food.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

Post match the other Divas bring out a cake and smash it into Laycool’s faces.

We recap Mysterio vs. Undertaker. Rey won the shot by slamming a cage door onto Batista’s head to escape because that’s what heroes do. Taker said he’ll show no mercy on Mysterio so Rey uses the same line everyone does on Taker: he isn’t afraid. Batista beat up Mysterio as well, claiming that Undertaker and the world title was his.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

Shawn is watching in the back when Kane comes in and says Shawn’s obsession with Taker is unhealthy. This is KANE calling something unhealthy. He warns Shawn to cool it with Taker because it won’t end well. Kane leaves and HHH comes in. Shawn apologizes for whatever happened on Raw which apparently isn’t important enough to specify. HHH agrees Shawn vs. Taker is meant to be, but it won’t be by wining the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers time:

23 Winners

627 entrants eliminated

36 eliminations by Austin

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta

62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006

2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year

3 wins for Austin

2 win for #1, the same as #30

70% of the winners win at Mania

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is #1 and Evan Bourne is #2. Bourne snaps off a headscissors to start and follows up with a spinwheel kick to take Dolph down. Ziggler comes back with the Zig Zag but can’t throw Evan out. Bourne decks Ziggler and hits Air Bourne as CM Punk of the Straightedge Society is #3. He slams the other two guys’ heads together and dumps them out one after the other. Punk gets a mic and says that tonight is the greatest night in the history of the Straightedge Society. These two are just the first of 29 men who will challenge him, but they can be saved.

The clock starts running down, so Punk gives us the line of the night: “Excuse me, it’s clobberin time.” JTG is #4 and after a few clotheslines, he poses like an idiot in the corner and gets dumped. Punk gets the mic again and says that not everyone can be saved because they don’t have his dedication. Great Khali is #5 and Punk immediately says he can make Khali greater by saving him. He asks Khali to raise his hand for the Straightedge Pledge but Khali lowers the hand onto Punk’s head for the chop.

There’s the Khali Vice and in less than 90 seconds, Beth Phoenix of all people is #6. She stares down Khali and gets picked up and placed on the apron. Beth kisses Khali but in the process pulls him over the top to eliminate him. Phoenix gets back in and BEATS UP PUNK, only to get caught in a GTS to the chest. Would that really knock her out? Before she’s dumped out, here’s Zack Ryder at #7.

As Ryder gets in, Punk grabs the mic and says Zack has potential. PREACH IT BROTHER! Punk starts offering him a spot but his Ryder with the mic before he gets done with it. The fans are going nuts for Punk now and there goes Ryder. Punk talks about how great he is and wants to know who is next, but whoever it is, they’re inferior to Punk. In at #8 is HHH as we enter the second segment of the Rumble.

They stare each other down and HHH starts punching. The facebuster has Punk staggered and a spinebuster puts him down as Drew McIntyre is #9. That gives us a tag champion in HHH and the IC Champion in Drew at the moment. HHH is looking a bit flabby here. He hits the high knee on McIntyre and escapes the GTS to eliminate Punk. DiBiase is #10 as we’re flying through this.

HHH gets double teamed down in the corner until John Morrison, the guy that lost the title to McIntyre, is #11. He takes both heels down and pounds away on them before hitting a jumping DDT on Drew. Starship Pain almost completely misses Drew and HHH clotheslines John down. Kane is #12 and comes in with the top rope clothesline to HHH. There’s a double chokeslam to McIntyre and Morrison before Kane tries to dump DiBiase.

Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.

Carlito is #15 and the ring is starting to get full. There’s a Backstabber to HHH and one for Drew and Ted as well. Miz is #16 and hits a quick Finale on Carlito. Cue MVP to clothesline Miz out and eliminate himself in the process. Matt Hardy is #17 and lasts about 20 seconds before Kane puts him out. HHH immediately dumps Kane too and the ring is a lot more empty all of a sudden.

HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.

Shelton Benjamin in that stupid gold period is #20. He hits Paydirt on both guys but gets dumped by Cena in less than 50 seconds. Yoshi Tatsu is #21 and doesn’t even make it 30 seconds. Big Show is #22 and Cena is shaken. Big Show RUNS down to the ring and house is cleaned. Shawn and Cena try to eliminate each other but Show pulls Shawn back in for some reason. What’s up with that tonight?

Mark Henry is #23 and we get a quick battle of the giant. Who would think those two would have a world title feud a year and a half later and be REALLY popular? Henry slams Show and falls on Cena as he tries an AA. Show spears Henry down and Chris Masters is #24. Masters tries the Masterlock on Show and gets dumped for his efforts. Now Henry goes after Show but Shawn breaks it up for some reason. R-Truth is #25 and actually dumps BOTH big guys. There’s something you wouldn’t expect.

Truth hits a Stroke on Cena and Jack Swagger is #26. All three guys get Vader Bombs and Swagger goes old school with a very slow Oklahoma Stampede. Jack knocks Michaels to the apron but can’t get the elimination. Kingston is #27 and cleans house on Swagger, hitting the Boom Drop and dumping him out with a nice leverage move. Truth puts Kofi on the apron but gets pulled out by a reverse headscissors.

Jericho is #28 but after cleaning about half the house, Cena grabs an AA to put him down. Shawn adds the top rope elbow and tunes up the band but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to take him out. Cena dumps Kofi but walks into a Codebreaker. Everyone is down and EDGE makes his big return at #29. That’s rather brilliant instead of waiting for the big surprise at #30, we get a SWERVE that actually makes sense.

Everyone gets a spear and Jericho is out. Edge is back about six months early and it’s Edge-O-Matics all around. Batista is #30, giving us a final four of Shawn, Cena, Edge and Batista. Not bad at all. It’s power all around but Edge spears him down. Everyone is down now Shawn gets up first and hits the forearm on Cena followed by the nipup.

Shawn slams every American in sight and drops the top rope elbow on Cena. Batista takes one too as Edge is still down in the corner. Sweet Chin Music hits Cena and there’s one for Batista as well. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and Michaels superkicks Edge back in, only to get knocked out by Batista. The crowd gasps HUGE at that and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn gets back in and superkicks the referee to vent some frustration. Shawn FINALLY leaves and Cena escapes the Batista Bomb before dumping Batista out. Edge misses the spear but throws out Cena a second later to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is kind of a hard one to grade. They definitely followed the three act structure which helped a lot and the match was VERY fast paced. I mean, the longest anyone was in there was Cena and he barely broke 20 minutes. The problem with that is it doesn’t give anything time to develop. The main story was Shawn which is fine and he would get to Mania at the end of the day anyway. It’s a really fun Rumble but not one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is very solid and the rest has nothing terrible so we’ll call it a good show overall. Things would get a lot more interesting soon after this with the rise of the Nexus and a very solid Wrestlemania. This was also a time of transition for the company as a lot of the guys in this show would be gone by the end of the year. Anyway good show here and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Miz vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2010 (Original): Gotcha!

Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

First off, love that announcing trio. Having 6 guys was WAY too much for PPVs. I’m excited for this Rumble. Yes the title matches are easy to see, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. Sometimes you need predictable matches and this is one of them. The matches look good on paper and the build was all there. The Rumble winner is pretty up in the air actually. That being said the show is starting so it’s time to shut up. Actually it isn’t but you get the point. Let’s get to it.

The video is what you would expect: a look back. Basic but well done as usual.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

They’ve built this up great as it finally feels like the night Christian is going down. I’m not so sure though. Jackson is a freaking scary man indeed. My stream is very choppy so this is kind of like a fast moving slide show mixed with good audio. There goes Regal after a few minutes. Striker talks too fast at times. Cole sounds sick or something. We hit the formula based stuff which is likely the best way to do this.

Since Jackson is still limited in the ring, it’s probably best to have him be carried by the far more experienced and better Christian. We’re in our second chinlock of the match already. Seriously Striker: CALM DOWN! Christian hits the jumping reverse elbow making him awesome. And then he does those stupid claps to take that away. “Hmm, I have him down and I’ve walked around in a circle so he doesn’t know where he is.

I’ll clap since that doesn’t give him a tip at all.” Jackson hits a big clothesline and we get LARIOTO from Striker. Jackson is really limited. Like Monty Brown levels of limited. I love that slingshot kick that Christian does in the corner. Why should I care about who last won the title where? No one says a word and Striker says nothing? That’s very amusing. Sleeper time. And there’s the Killswitch out of freaking nowhere for the pin. What the heck was that???

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill big man vs. little man and the more I think about it the more I like the ending. Christian couldn’t hang with Zeke going head to head so he stopped trying to and got a quick win. I actually like that one.

Cryme Tyme both want to be in the Rumble but only one spot is available. Apparently they’ve managed to trade Khali’s spot for a kiss from Tiffany. Apparently not. Gender stereotype humor fails and Khali imitates Urkel. Shad is almost able to look eye to eye with Khali. This is stupid on so many levels. Miz comes in and Teddy, who has no authority on this show, makes the US Title match.

Rhodes sucks up to Orton and throws Ted under the bus. I’d bet on the same thing happening later with Ted,

US Title: MVP vs. The Miz

Talk about two guys that have gone in completely opposite directions. Miz used to look like a joke and is now awesome and MVP used to look awesome and now is a borderline joke. Something tells me he’s winning tonight though. MVP was US Champion what, back in 2007 and he’s still in the same place how long later? There’s a big MIZ IS AWESOME chant. Or was it AWFUL? Either one is a good sign.

MVP is all over him to start which points to Miz hanging onto the belt. Ok, we get it: MVP hung out with some chick from The View. It means nothing at all. Ah there we go. Miz is back now. He’s grown more than anyone else I’ve ever seen in the past two years. We get it also: MVP used to be in prison. Let it die already. MVP is just a failure as a face. His character is designed to be a heel but we can’t have street wise heels that look like stereotypes of course.

Ok, so MVP hits a face crusher and literally 12 seconds later the Ballin Elbow hits. Are we supposed to believe that Miz isn’t going to get up in that amount of time? Seriously? There’s a Pounce from MVP and called so much by Striker. Oh, period. Wouldn’t want to forget that.

I actually don’t know who’s going to win here which is rare in matches like these but it’s a nice plus. And Miz hits a rollup as MVP is getting back in for the pin. And that’s what he needs: wins, even by fluke, that are clean. MVP attacks him after the match and is heavily booed. Please let that be a heel turn. Cole implies it’s not. Blast it.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all. The ending was great here as it literally came out of nowhere. Miz needs more wins like these but it gives him more and more credibility every time which is what his character needs at the moment. I haven’t seen them get a character’s development much better than his in a LONG time and I’m loving it.

Jericho and Show continue their bromance. R-Truth laughs at Jericho and says it’s every man for himself. It’s better than it sounds but it’s still dumb.

Orton is walking. Yes indeed he is. And there’s Ted to say he’s here for him. No Cody in sight though and I was right with my prediction.

Ad for Raw. I love that they feel the need to advertise a show that you likely would have had to see in order to buy this show.

Soldiers are here. Oh they’re from the National Guard.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

And the champion comes out first for no apparent reason. Sheamus is another character that has gotten a solid push from nowhere and I’m liking it. It’s working bette than Bradshaw’s when they did the same thing and I think that’s because there’s nothing of his past to compare it to. Bradshaw had nothing to go off of in the main event either but we had known him for years and he sucked. Orton gets a bit of a pop.

Please: give him a face title run. It could work. A heel vs. heel title match isn’t something I would have guessed on but it should be awesome. I’m pulling for the Irish dude just to prevent anything resembling Orton vs. HHH or Cena again. We get the big match intros too. Orton gets a straight up face pop. Sheamus gets heat but it’s mild. Still though, likely his best ever. It’s weird seeing Orton not being taller.

Sheamus is getting a bit of heat here. I like it. MASSIVE Randy chant. The fans Vince. LISTEN TO THEM. Yep, he’s wrestling life a face too. Sheamus is dominating here as he should. I’m glad they never went anywhere with the kick he gave Lawler. Orton goes for the knee which makes a lot of sense here. There has been talk of Sheamus holding the belt until Mania. I like it. We’ve begged for a new main event guy and we’ve gotten one.

Giving him a long reign is making him far more credible as a champion and main event player. It’s a brilliant move and I think it’s working. Orton STAYS ON THE KNEE! Oh blessed psychology how I love you! Sheamus works on the arm of all things. It’s different if nothing else. There’s the boo/yay thing. Fans are more or less completely behind Orton which is something Vince needs to listen to.

Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge but his knee gives out. See what psychology can do for you? Orton hits that elevated DDT that is varying degrees of awesome. They’re trying so hard to have him be heel in this and it’s failing epically. The Punt, which again is more of a freaking place kick but what do I know. Vince started the XFL so obviously he’s smarter than I am. It misses of course because that never hits on PPV for some reason.

Oh wait forgot HIAC. There’s likely a reason for that one. Rhodes runs in and attacks Sheamus but the RKO hits, meaning Sheamus keeps the belt. YES! Came out of nowhere but whatever. The fans are calling for the RKO on Rhodes but they settle for a choke instead. Ted comes down and gets that whipping. Grr and there goes the stream again! Orton more or less fires them, HOPEFULLY turning face. And Sheamus kicks Orton in the head and everyone leaves him there. Not bad at all.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The psychology was all working here and it played into the match later on which is nice. The DQ ending kind of sucked as I would have preferred Sheamus to get a pin but this worked just fine I think. Legacy is FINALLY over though which is the far more important thing.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool which is by far the best build to a match I’ve seen in a women’s match in years . It’s even better than the Mark Henry vs. Viscera match. Short version: McCool and Layla were saying that Mickie was fat and it led to this. It’s a lot better than it sounds, trust me.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

I’m actually pumped for this thing if you can believe that. Odds are it’s going to suck but whatever. The video had Beth in it which implies she’ll be here tonight. Sweet goodness change Michelle’s music. I freak can’t stand it. McCool cuts a bad promo before the match. Mickie isn’t here apparently?

And here’s Layla in the fat suit. This was stupid Friday but cute I guess and now…never mind as Mickie is here. And it’s a 20 second match as Mickie freaking murders her. Ok then. And they bring out food and poor it on the heels. Good to know.

Rating: N/A. Not sure if I like this or not. Mickie dominating is good as it ends this quickly, but it feels flat otherwise. I think I like it though. Yeah let’s go with that.

Ad for Elimination Chamber. Yeah nothing says SPECIAL gimmick match more than two in one night baby!

We recap Rey vs. Taker, which more or less is Rey won a contender’s match and then Batista is a whiny man. Something tells me that’s your ending because he has muscles and therefore he’s a good wrestler, at least in Vince’s eyes.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

They call this the biggest match in Rey’s career. Yep, far bigger than winning the title at Mania I’m sure. As bad as a champion that he is, that belt looks awesome on Taker’s waist. More big match intros which while they’re usually good, they kind of don’t work for Taker for some reason. This is likely to rock or suck with no real in between. This is like a wet dream for Vince: both guys are big faces so why wouldn’t this work?

Taker at 299 pounds sounds odd for some reason. Rey gets freaking launched to the floor but lands on his feet. Nice indeed. Taker has done maybe two moves and he’s put Rey on the floor twice. This is all Taker so far. Thankfully the 619 misses. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Rey uses the ancient Chinese principle of kicking his feet to get out of it. Taker of course messes up his knee because that’s all he can do in most matches anymore.

His hip is in a lot of legit pain at this point so it’s likely not a ton of acting. We get the Asai Moonsault for the Japanese fans out there. Taker’s chest looks the same as Michelle’s used to look like. I wonder if they got them done in the same place? They seem like they’re killing time, which screams BATISTA to me.

Surprisingly enough though it doesn’t come as Taker just more or less casually hits the Last Ride after countering a flippy. Where’s Norcal when I need him? Oh yeah at a bar with muscle guys.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t thrilled here at all. The only good thing was that there was a clean ending which was my main concern here. It’s two more old guys in the main event but at least they’re popular so that’s all I can ask for. Not awful, but underwhelming.

Shawn and Kane talk. HHH and Shawn talk. Greatness personified.

I freaking LOVE that video package about the numbers.

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is first and Evan Bourne is second. Ok then. And the Zig Zag hits a few minutes in. He pulls a Davey Boy Smith though and doesn’t make sure he goes over. The Shooting Star hits and Punk is third. With the roll he’s been on lately he needs a LONG run here. He starts off hot by throwing out both guys and has time to cut a promo. The heat is there, the look is there and the ability is there.

He has to job to the old guys though right? Number four is one of Cryme Tyme. Oh it’s JTG. Please….make it quick. Hey I got my wish! It lasted just a few seconds as we get our second promo of the night. I love Punk in case I didn’t make that clear. Fifth is Khali. Don’t you freaking put Punk out to this imbecile! You know they will though. Please, sacrifice Serena or something. I beg of you Vince, use your freaking brain.

Nope, Punk gets his the beating. Oh I get it: Khali is a “fun” character so that makes the idiocy ok. He gets the vice but it doesn’t last long enough and…Beth Phoenix is 6th? Well ok then. It’s different if nothing else. Beth gets picked up and placed on the apron where she kisses Khali before ELIMINATING HIM!! Punk hits her with the GTS after a brief skirmish. Didn’t see this coming. Seventh is Zach Ryder. This is odd indeed.

Beth is odd as we get some awesome music from Ryder. Punk tries to recruit Ryder and then hits him to MASSIVE face pops. He’s alone again as this is awesome. It’s another promo. Kane or Show will put him out soon enough. He says he’s better than whoever is next and you can smell the elimination coming from here. And it’s HHH. Bye Punk. Have fun in the belly of HHH’s ego. His intro takes the better part of ever so at least he’s consistent.

Hey Punk actually lasts until McIntyre is 9th. And HHH puts out Punk to get his ego up again. Yep, can’t have these young talented and over guys taking the place of guys like HHH. HHH is called the future of the company. That’s a scary thought. DiBiase is 10th. We’re 1/3 of the way through this. Oh great. Morrison is 11th. Nothing of note is happening at all. McIntyre takes Starship Pain and here’s HHH to take his head off anyway.

Kane is 12th, To recap it’s HHH, Kane, DiBiase, Morrison and McIntyre in there at the moment. The IC Title boys take a double chokeslam and it’s all Kane meaning he’ll be out soon or last a long time. And HHH saves DiBiase. Ok then. I guess the whole end your career thing is forgives. Cody Rhodes comes up on the monitor and Striker says it must be Rhodes. What would we do without you Matty? Legacy dominates…kind of. Morrison is incredibly acrobatic.

Rhodes underrated in the ring. Striker says he’s the seed of the Dream. BAD IMAGE MAN! Kane of course is moving and Cole can’t tell McIntyre and HHH apart. MVP is 14th. Miz jumps him in the aisle and blasts him with the belt. Know what would be nice now? A shot of the ring. Oh there it is. Morrison hits a SICK springboard spinkick to the head of McIntyre. MVP is taken out as I’m pretty sure HHH is going to win here.

My guess is Shawn vs. HHH somewhere down the line because of Shawn’s incessant ego. Carlito is 15th and apparently he’s interesting. Yeah that’s nonsense if I’ve ever heard it. He hits a nice springboard reverse elbow to Legacy. That was nice. MVP will likely run in and attack Miz later. Nothing predictable at all there. HHH takes the Backstabber as do a lot of people. Holy crap he’s dominating. Sixteenth is Miz. Amazingly MVP doesn’t jump him. That’ll be next I guess.

The Skull Crushing Finale hits Carlito. The fans pop like a cherry pie for Miz vs. Morrison and here’s MVP to put himself and Miz out. Legacy has HHH in trouble and of course he doesn’t go out. Carlito hangs onto the rope and stays in. Number 17 is Matt Hardy to a huge pop. This crowd is awesome. To continue the trend he dominates and hits a bunch of people before Kane puts him out and Kane is out by HHH.

You really can see it coming. I hope I need glasses. Spinebusters all around. A hot crowd pops for him so that validates this I suppose. HBK is 18th and I think I feel a showdown of 1990 proportions coming. Rhodes and Carlito and DiBiase are gone. Ok we have Shawn, McIntyre, Morrison and HHH in there at the moment. Ok take out Morrison and the showdown is pretty clear.

Shawn has the second most eliminations in Rumble history apparently. Yep it’s showdown time and there’s the clock. It’ll be a jobber and…never mind it’s Cena. Vince the Survivor Series bombed with this main event so why wouldn’t this do it too? And of course he beats up DX. A double You Can’t See Me is booed to an extent. HHH stops an FU and takes a Pedigree AND HHH IS SUPERKICKED OUT OF THE MATCH! I am STUNNED as all goodness. TAKE THAT MELTZER!!!

Shelton is in now and I’m switching my bet to Cena. Shawn has put Shelton out like three years in a row or something. This is his eighth consecutive Rumble. Wow I wouldn’t have guessed that one. Cena ends Shawn’s streak and puts out Shelton. Holy Mania rematch Batman. Yoshi Tatsu is 21st. I like this guy for some reason. Of course Striker has a dumb name for him: the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim. Cena dumps him in a few seconds and we’re back to Shawn and Cena.

Nothing overdone about that AT ALL is there? Ok Atlanta is allowed to do the WOOs. Big Show is 22nd. Show almost goes out but saves himself. Cena goes for an FU but it misses. Shawn has to skin the cat (what a name I tell you) because Chin Music misses. Mark Henry is 23rd. Well they’re having some big names in there at least. I still can’t get over HHH being out already. It’s a curveball if nothing else. Henry goes for a slam can can’t get it.

Why do I have a feeling he’s not the world’s strongest man? He gets the slam a bit later but then almost gets an FU. Masters is number 24. Have to have some jobbers I guess. He press slams Shawn and of course doesn’t throw him out. Instead he puts the Masterlock on Show and he gets tossed for it. Henry and Show go at it again as we have a clock. It’s R-Truth….AND HE PUTS OUT SHOW AND HENRY.

I guess there is a youth movement. It’s Truth, Cena and Michaels here. He shows his TNA connection by hitting Cena with the Stroke. The fans are chanting boring. This hasn’t been bad at all. Swagger is 26th as Norcal pops. This is his first Rumble. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Vader Bombs all around. NO! Stream went out! Never mind it’s back!

Kofi is 27th. There goes Truth. Jericho is 28th. Kofi put out Truth in case you were wondering. He follows that up by kicking the heck out of Shawn and then gets thrown by Cena. All three are down and here’s 29. HOLY CRAP IT’S EDGE! Ok it’s not really shocking but still cool moment. Oh yeah he’s a face. Just like he should be. Spears all around and we might not have a surefire winner now.

There goes Jericho and Edge is domination. Sweet the Edgecution is back! Fans are WAY into this. Shame Batista will be 30th. It would have made sense to just have it be Edge in at 30. Ok final four are Cena, Shawn, Batissta and Edge. Naturally Batista is dominating. Anyone of these guys could win. Edge spears him down and Cena FUs Edge so everyone is down. Shawn nips up to another great pop. That’s one of those moves that just plain works.

Shawn is dominating here and Striker screws up again by saying that Edge has had no vigor. Shawn is dominating here and this is exciting me. Cena gets kicked and si does Big Dave. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and then gets superkicked back in. DAVE PUTS SHAWN OUT! The crowd just goes dead silent. That came from nowhere. This is wide open at this point. WOW I haven’t heard a crowd die like that ever.

That…might not have been what was supposed to happen. He goes nuts an goes back in, beating up referees. Could this be a Shawn HEEL TURN??? I certainly freaking hope so. More referees come down as Shawn looks freaking crushed. Striker says this is heartbreaking (no pun intended I’m sure) as he says Shawn has never achieved this. If he means beating Taker he’s an idiot. He’s also never achieved a good buyrate but we’ll ignore that.

Ok so it’s Edge, Batista and Cena. Cena reverses the Batista Bomb and Batista reverses the FU and there goes Batista! This would suggest Edge winning but I’m not so sure. He sets for the spear with those great visuals of his and it misses of course. Cena goes for a clothesline and EDGE WINS IT! YEAH!

Take that people screaming this was going to be predicable! Love that ending, even though it’s the same thing they did with Cena but not as exciting/sweet. This is what we needed too: a FRESH face that is going to get some POPS. Great move all around and a great Rumble match.

Rating: A. Very solid Rumble here. Edge winning was a very pleasant shock and I liked it a lot. They had the star power in there tonight and no Santino or Duggan or jokes like that who are just going to waste time and spots. The formula works great when it clicks and this was no exception. I was bored until HHH got dumped but it wasn’t awful before that. Once he’s gone though, it’s straight through the roof. Very good Rumble and likely in the top five ever of them.

Overall Rating: A-. I was going back and forth between B- and C+. The whole show was indeed nothing great, but there was nothing that bad really. The right people won, for the most part they won clean, Orton is a face…I think, Shawn is snapping, Legacy is OVER, and Edge is back as a top level face.

This was a very good show and if you want to say it was predictable, let me know so I can laugh at you. Fun show and worth checking out, just don’t expect a classic. Edited: what the heck am I thinking? This show was great. A-.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (2019 Redo): Undertaker’s Next Monster

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (2012 Redo): Viva La Series

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Aside from the matches mentioned already, there are two other major matches. First up we have Team Kurt Angle vs. Team Eddie Guerrero to continue their rivalry which started back at Wrestlemania XX. Angle couldn’t take the title from Eddie but became GM of Smackdown, vowing to make Eddie’s life miserable. On top of that we have Undertaker (once again the Dead Man) facing off with Heidenreich, Paul Heyman’s latest monster. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

The set looks cool here as it’s made of six screens which I guess will act as the Titantron tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Spike is defending and is a heel here. This is one fall to a finish. Kidman hurt Chavo on a Shooting Star Press and seemed to be proud of it, which resulted in a heel turn for him. The other good thing here is that they don’t have to tag. As usual, this doesn’t last long before things break down. Kidman and Spike form a quick alliance, only to have Kidman dropkick the champ out to the floor.

Rey sends Kidman to the floor and it’s off to Rey vs. Chavo, who are still friends at this point. Rey spins Chavo around with a headscissors before Spike sends Rey into the corner and stomps away with some screaming thrown in. Chavo comes back in and a double clothesline puts he and Spike down. With Kidman on the apron, Rey hits a hurricanrana to send him out to the floor in a cool looking spot.

Back in and Rey tries the sitout bulldog on Chavo but Guerrero throws him onto Kidman in a seated senton. Chavo dives on both of them, leaving Spike standing ta….short actually. Anyway the champ dives on all of them but they step aside to let him crash. Chavo finally gets his hands on Billy back in the ring but Spike comes back in to break up a pinfall attempt.

Rey misses a moonsault over Spike’s head and gets thrown to the floor as a result. We get a Tower of Doom with everyone minus Rey involved, so Rey comes in and tries to steal a pin. Rey charges at Kidman but gets caught in a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two but Chavo breaks up the Shooting Star. Spike hits a running headbutt to Rey’s ribs but the Dudley Dog is broken up. The 619 hits Spike but Billy breaks up the West Coast Pop. Chavo hits the Gory Bomb on Spike but Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes out Kidman and Spike steals the pin on Chavo to retain.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything here but it was fine for an opener. Rey was insanely popular still but Spike keeping the title was a great way to tick off the fans. There’s nothing wrong with a heel winning, as long as the opener fires up the crowd, which this did. Good choice.

Heidenreich is getting fired up by Heyman when Paul goes to get his jacket. Snitsky, another creepy heel of the day, comes in. He says he likes Heidenreich’s poetry and Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies (as in punting them into the crowd). There’s WAY too much deep breathing here. This was almost who Undertaker and Kane fought at Wrestlemania before the company woke up and stuck Orton against Undertaker instead.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Shelton, a young, very athletic guy who used to be in a tag team, is defending but the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s theme makes him far more awesome. Shelton is at the point in his career when he’s about to get on one of the biggest rolls in years but it never went anywhere past the Intercontinental Title. The champ cranks on the arm to start before they head to the mat. Keeping in mind that Shelton was a legit All-American wrestler, he’s just fine being on the mat with Christian.

Christian cranks on the arm but Shelton drops to the mat and immediately nips up which looked great. It didn’t do anything but it looked great. Christian talks trash and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Shelton skins the cat before hitting a great looking springboard clothesline for two. A HARD chop slows Benjamin down and Christian talks some more trash. Shelton counters a monkey flip by casually landing on his feet and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two.

We head to the floor for a quick distraction by Tomko (Christian’s bodyguard) but Christian gets punched in the face instead. Tomko tries to cheat again and this time the distraction is enough to let Christian get in a shot. Why that creepy little bas…..never mind. A cross body gets two for Shelton but Christian immediately puts him back down with a neckbreaker. Off to a chinlock (Tomko: “BREAK HIS NECK!”) by Christian and he launches Benjamin to the floor as he tries to break the hold.

Shelton comes back with a hard whip into the corner to put Christian down. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ as does a slingshot reverse suplex (called a reverse fisherman’s suplex by JR). Benjamin misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught in a reverse DDT for two. Tomko slides the belt in (hitting the referee in the foot in the process) but Shelton kicks Christian in the face.

The referee sees Christian holding the belt, which lets Benjamin hit a top rope clothesline for two. As the belt is being put out, Tomko kicks Benjamin in the face for two. The Exploder Suplex (Benjamin’s finisher, a snap floatover T-Bone suplex) is countered but Benjamin kicks Tomko down. The Unprettier is countered into the Exploder for the pin to keep the title on Benjamin.

Rating: B. I really got into this match at the end even though Christian didn’t have much of a chance at winning. The Tomko and belt stuff didn’t help anything but they had to try to slow Shelton down a bit. Benjamin was in the beginning of a very long run with the belt that would last until June, which was the longest reign in about six years.

Really good match here as Christian put Shelton over strong. There’s a reason this guy basically had the world title waiting for him on a plate whenever he stepped up enough to take it, but that never happened for various reasons. Namely he just stopped trying and coasted on his reputation, but that’s another story.

Angle complains to Edge about something Edge wrote in his book about him. Kurt makes fun of Edge for never winning the World Title. They trade some insults before Kurt leaves and runs into Eugene, Eric Bischoff’s mentally slow nephew who just happened to be a talented wrestler. Eugene lists off (slowly) some of Angle’s accomplishments before singing the You Suck version of his theme song.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Eddie and Angle have been feuding since Wrestlemania. Carlito, the son of a Puerto Rican legend, debuted and beat Cena for the US Title before injuring Cena in a nightclub (or having someone do it. The attacker was never revealed but it might have been Carlito’s buddy Jesus). Big Show is feuding with Reigns (an enforcer type character) and Jindrak (a very athletic guy who didn’t do much in America) and Angle for shaving his head, and Van Dam is there as a warm body. Got all that?

Before the bell, Cena chases Carlito and Jesus to the back and gets in a brawl with them. Carlito and Jesus steal a car and speed away, which counts as an elimination. Back at ringside there’s a big brawl until Show (on a bad ankle) pulls Jindrak into the ring. Here’s Cena back to the ring to make it 4-3. Off to Van Dam who hits a spin kick before it’s off to Eddie for the slingshot hilo, followed by Rolling Thunder from Van Dam.

Eddie suplexes Jindrak down and armdrags Reigns as he headscissors Jindrak in a cool move. Angle comes in to stop his team’s bleeding but it’s quickly back to Reigns for a bunch of backbreakers for two. Off to Jindrak for a full nelson but Eddie sends him into the buckle. Eddie dives for the corner but Angle literally tackles Guerrero to break it up. Kurt hits a belly to belly before bringing in Reigns for more stomping.

Off to a chinlock from Jindrak but Eddie eventually grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Angle again blocks the tag and puts on a front facelock. One thing to note here: the entire time the hold is on, Cena is reaching out for a tag and encouraging Eddie. It doesn’t mean much, but it helps things from getting really boring. Little things like that can make a big difference. Watch guys like Rock and Hogan when they’re on the apron in tag matches. They’re ALWAYS doing something, even if it’s minor like clapping. It can make a difference.

Jindrak comes in but Eddie knocks him away and it’s off to Van Dam. Rob goes off (Cole: “He’s supple!”) and hits an enziguri on Angle to set up the Five Star but Jindrak pulls him away. The Splash hits Jindrak, allowing Angle to roll up Rob (using the ropes) for the pin. Angle heads to the floor so Eddie rolls up the illegal Jindrak, using the ropes as well, for an elimination to make it 3-2 (Eddie/Show/Cena vs. Reigns/Angle).

Eddie tells Angle to bring it on and there go the straps. Eddie tags in Show, making Angle tag in Reigns. Reigns gets in one or two shots but a chokeslam beats him quickly. Kurt rolls through a chokeslam into the ankle lock but Show sends him through the ropes to escape. Angle starts to walk up the aisle but Van Dam is waiting on him. Kurt backs up while still looking at RVD, and backs into Show. He reaches up to see how tall what he backed into is and shakes his head. Show throws Kurt back in to face Cena (in for the first time legally) and it’s an FU and Frog Splash for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a good match but it was entertaining, which is more than you got from almost all of last year’s show. I’m guessing Cena and Carlito were injured as they didn’t do anything for the most part. Angle was great here and the look on his face when he backed into Big Show always makes me chuckle. Fun match here, which is all you need sometimes.

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, where Heidenreich is the latest guy to try to kill Undertaker at Paul Heyman’s direction. This was one of those matches where they were trying to make it seem like Undertaker was in trouble but Heidenreich comes off like the villain in the fifth direct to video sequel in a horror series that has overstayed its welcome by two movies.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

Heidenreich pounds away on Undertaker against the barricade while shouting that he can beat him. Undertaker shrugs that off again and hits the legdrop on the apron for two. Old School hits the second time followed by a modified Downward Spiral for two. A big boot misses Heidenreich in the corner and it’s time for more punching on the floor. This isn’t one of those matches where the fans are worried about Undertaker as I don’t think anyone bought Heidenreich as a real threat.

A kick to Undertaker’s face sets up a chinlock and a clothesline for two. Another clothesline stops Undertaker’s comeback but a suplex stops the stopping of the comeback. Heidenreich sends him to the apron but Undertaker stuns him on the top rope. Undertaker channels his inner Kane (he had the name first) and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back in and Snake Eyes/the big boot takes Heidenreich down again.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Rating: D. Like I said at the end of the day, did ANYONE buy Heidenreich as a real threat to Undertaker? The guy just wasn’t that good and he came off as more silly than a serious threat. Not much to see here and Heidenreich never got higher than he did in this match. Undertaker would move on to a much better feud with Orton soon enough to try and make people forget about this mess.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

We recap Trish vs. Lita, which is happening because….well who else are they going to fight? Lita got pregnant with Kane’s baby but lost it because of Snitsky. Trish made fun of Lita for being a sl**, having a dead baby, and of course for being fat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending. Lita is all ticked off and punches Trish, who is coming in with a broken nose, as soon as she gets in. Trish gets pounded even more and they head to the floor where Trish goes into a table and gets cracked with a chair 80 seconds into the match for the DQ. This wasn’t much, but these two would main event Raw in a few weeks. I don’t mean a match that went on last and then they had the promo that closed the show. I mean they spent the whole show hyping up Trish Stratus vs. Lita as the main event and Lita won the title and celebrated to end the show. It was quite the moment and a big deal.

Teddy comes in to congratulate Team Guerrero while Show is in a towel. Show hands the towel to Teddy and walks off. Cena: “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Teddy makes Cena vs. Carlito for the title on Thursday. Why is Cena in his underwear?

We recap Booker T vs. JBL. Booker pinned JBL in a tag match but JBL says Booker isn’t in his league. Booker beat up Orlando Jordan (JBL’s lackey) and pinned him to earn the title shot. There really isn’t much to this one.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

JBL is defending and Booker’s big yellow gloves don’t really do him any favors. Feeling out process to start as they trade really basic stuff for the first minute and a half. Booker knocks him to the floor and JBL gets the advantage coming back in. Back to the floor and Booker gets sent over the announce table. As they head back in, Jordan gets in a cheap shot to give JBL two. Still in first gear at best.

JBL hooks in a cobra clutch followed by an elbow drop and a chinlock. After that VICIOUS offense, Booker easily fights back and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orlando gets in some more cheap shots on the floor but JBL walks into a Book End out there to give Booker his first real advantage. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. They’re into second gear now but it’s just not an interesting match.

Booker goes up but another Jordan distraction lets JBL avoid a Houston Hangover (flip legdrop). Another sleeper by JBL is escaped but Jordan breaks up the ax kick. JBL hits a quick DDT for two and there goes the referee. Jordan comes in and pounds on Booker but Josh Matthews comes out to help Booker for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. JBL destroys Josh but there’s the side kick to JBL. The ax kick takes him down as well but Jordan takes out the referee. Booker hits the Book End on Jordan but JBL clocks Booker with the belt to retain.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. Basically they were redoing the HHH/Flair run from 2003 with Jordan interfering every ten seconds and the matches sucking and the crowd groaning when JBL retains the title. JBL is a hilarious commentator and a solid main event jobber, but the guy was painfully boring as champion.

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

We recap the main event which is Team HHH vs. Team Orton. Team Orton has united to oppose HHH’s tyranny and the winning team gets to run Raw for a week each. Snitsky has said that when Team HHH wins, he’s coming for HHH’s World Title, and Edge has said the same. Batista has been looking at the title too so HHH is rather nervous. This gets the music video treatment for the night. Maven and Snitsky stick out like two shattered thumbs in this whole thing.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

HHH is World Champion and Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.

Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the World Title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. What a great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? It doesn’t matter how awesome he is because he’s not getting a shot at anything.

Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match. It couldn’t be because Orton is a lame duck and everyone knows it of course. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a swan dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and swan dives both of them for two.

Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets caught in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.

Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.

It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.

Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge now. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 (HHH/Edge vs. Orton) with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.

Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the champ hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so I dug this at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked its legs off.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some dull stuff here, but the good stuff really is solid as you can see the new generation ready to burst through. The main event was entertaining stuff and the fans did react to Orton pinning HHH clean. The Smackdown side of things was pretty lame but other than that, this was a solid show and I was digging it at the end. Good show.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (Original): Dang It Orton

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have entered into what I guess you would call a new era in the company. Orton has split from Evolution as it is starting to crumble. Batista is on the rise as he would win the 2005 Rumble to set up his first title reign. Over on Smackdown, JBL is the reigning champion in the middle of that one title reign that he never stopped talking about. It’s hard to put a finger on it but you can just simply feel that things have begun to change into what we would consider the modern era of WWE.

Cena and Batista would take their spots as the kings of the company in about five or six months. Your main event tonight is HHH’s team vs. Orton’s team, where the winners get control of Raw for the next month. Yet again, this just seems like a preview for next month. Over on Smackdown we have JBL defending against Booker in the random non-feud of the month. This looks weak on paper, but let’s try it out.

We get a video about the history of the Survivor Series. This is painfully weak. If it tells you anything, Snitsky and Maven are in the main event tonight. How scary is that?

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero

Wow Kidman had a job at this point? This is one fall by the way. Kidman’s music makes me want to die quickly. Billy hurt Chavo with the shooting star, which is one of the main reasons it was banned for as long as it was. Kidman and Spike are your heels here, in case for some reason you care. If that’s the case, I’d recommend a doctor. I know I say that Spike should be only fighting small guys, but he really shouldn’t be wrestling at all. He’s just annoying.

Cole runs through the rules as I think they might have finally picked the perfect opener. More or less no one is going to care about this match but it’ll be full of high spots so if nothing else people will get hyped up over it, or at least they’re supposed to. Tazz recommends that someone hide in a corner, which really isn’t all that bad of an idea. This is the location of the first two Survivor Series as well as the 1992 show so this is the New York of Survivor Series I guess.

Using his expert analytical skills, Tazz points out that the move we just saw was indeed a knee of the ribs. They’re going with the formula here of having two guys go at it and two guys down, which gives the match a bit of a Mexican flare to it. I think I like that. Spike was in his Boss phase here where somehow he was in charge of Bubba and D-Von, because that just makes perfect sense. Now we’re getting into what this should be: a massive spotfest.

Spike crashes when he tries his and that is just great for some reason. We go to Billy vs. Chavo which is the hot feud I guess. In case you didn’t notice the first 20 times they said it, there’s a slim chance that Spike will hold the title as they more or less give away the ending. Why does Tazz keep using the term pin cover? I don’t think anyone else uses that and I’m not sure if I like it. I hate cruiserweight matches where they try to be slow and technical.

Cole continues saying stupid things by saying all four of these men want to become champion of the world. One of them already is you dolt. Somehow they tried to make the Shooting Star Press into a heel move. Seriously? Why would you try to do something like that? It’s one of the most impressive looking moves there is and it will never not get a solid pop.

What’s the smart thing to do of course? Try to make it evil of course, because the only thing that matters are heels, especially tiny ones that are SO intimidating. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog which fails because…because…well because he tried it on Rey Mysterio that’s why.

Chavo hits the Gory Bomb, which of course according to Cole connects. Listen to a Cole match and see how many times he uses that word. It blows Vintage away. In a rather anti-climactic ending, Spike steals the pin after Kidman drops a springboard leg on Chavo. That just wasn’t that interesting of an ending.

Rating: C+. This was probably the best choice for an opener, but I’m not sure if it worked that well. The high spots were fine but Spike was just sucking the life out of this thing. I get that he’s a heel, but there’s not supposed to be depth to matches like these. They’re about big spots and getting the crowd into the show, so why have someone there that’s just slowing things down? I don’t get that. The match was ok but it just didn’t feel right so take that for what you will.

Heyman and Heidenrich are in the back as Paul tries to fire him up. Snitsky shows up and they have an odd exchange. Their mouths are far too close during this. Snitsky likes what his poetry and Heidenrich likes what Snitsky does to babies. They would start a very short tag team feud against Kane and Taker soon. For the record, Snitsky had caused Lita to have a miscarriage if that explains anything. Their noses were touching. That’s just odd.

Here’s the pointless theme song that no one will remember in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Benjamin won the title in a relative shocker at Taboo Tuesday, beating Jericho for it as well as winning the rematch. Christian is getting the shot because he just wanted one I guess. He would be leaving for TNA in about a year at this point. This is more or less the wet dream of any IWC fan and clearly should main event Wrestlemania because….well just because.

I love the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s music. This is right before Shelton became the hottest thing in the world and about six months before the classic he had with Shawn at Raw that was the high point of his career. Ross says that Shelton may be a better athlete than Lebron James. Wow indeed. Christian slaps him and gets punched for his troubles.

Shelton gets a sweet springboard clothesline to take out Christian for two. Tomko is at ringside with Christian as he continues to be completely worthless. They chop it out as Christian shouts that he IS Captain Charisma. Benjamin is just scary with how athletic he is out there. Tomko gets involved and it allows Christian to shove Shelton to the floor to take over.

Ross and Lawler get into an argument as to whether you’re cheating if you choke to four. That’s a very good question actually. Christian hammers on Shelton for a good while but here comes Shelton. Solid stuff here so far. Shelton gets a counter into a slingshot reverse suplex for two. Nice. Stinger Splash misses and Christian gets an Edgecution for a long two.

Christian brings the Title in and it gets kicked back in his face. Tomko kicks Shelton’s head off for a two and a solid pop on the kickout. Shelton hits the Dragon Whip on Tomko and there’s the T-Bone on Christian to retain. Sweet match and Shelton looked great here.

Rating: B. THIS should have opened the show. This is what both guys should be doing: wrestling in the midcard and having the best stuff on the show. That’s where Christian and Shelton both fail for me: the company and fans on WZ think that they’re ready to take over the reins of the company and they’re just simply not there yet.

Now maybe they will be someday, but at the moment they’re just not prepared yet. Also, not everyone is going to be able to be a main event guy. Look at Kofi for example. Anyway, this was very solid and it was this time period where Shelton got the reputation that he has now, which is what the IC belt is supposed to be about.

Edge and Angle cross paths in the back with Angle talking about how Edge has never won the title. This is psycho Angle that was some of the fun stuff. This was a pretty intense segment with two guys that have a solid background. I’d like to see Edge come back like this where he’s a heel but not by much. Angle tries to go to the ring but runs into Eugene and suddenly I wish I had a gun or a hatchet. Eugene sings Kurt’s song and the hatchet might not be fast enough.

Hey! Here’s a Wrestlemania moment that has absolutely nothing to do with this show! It’s Austin winning his first title in case you were wondering.

Tazz and Cole plug Mania 21.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Angle, Carlito, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak
Guerrero, Big Show, John Cena, RVD

Angle was hanging out with Reigns and Jindrak at the time and they were feuding with both Big Show and Guerrero separately so there’s that. Cena and Carlito had been having a feud over the US Title which Carlito won from him in his debut match. Since then, Cena was stabbed in a club and had to take time off. The theory was that it was Carlito but there was actually a rumor going around the internet that they were going to bring in New Jack of all people to have been the attacker.

Cena comes out last and immediately chases Carlito off. Cena fights both he and his bodyguard Jesus into the back with absolute ease. The bell hasn’t rung at this point and I have no idea what the wrestlers are in the ring doing during all of this stuff. Jesus and the anti-swallower get away in a car that they steal to add auto theft to their list of crimes. Those are just great things to show on television there Vince. Cena heads back to the arena as I guess they were brawling in the meantime?

The bell finally rings and we have Show vs. Jindrak. Cena’s back so it’s already 4-3. Oh and Angle, Jindrak and Reigns had recently shot Show with a tranquilizer and shaved his head to explain why he’s so ticked off. Everyone beats on Mark because he just completely sucks. That’s a pretty good face team. Who’s the least accomplished on there? RVD I guess? Tazz fails by trying to compare one of these matches to a baseball game.

Eddie pulls off some amazing looking stuff as this was likely some of the best stuff he ever had during this time of his career. That made no sense but a translation would be he was doing very well at this point in time. A little interference from Angle turns the tide though. I’ve never quite gotten that expression. I get what it means but it just sounds odd to me and always has.

Reigns and Jindrak both could have been good but for some reason they both just completely failed. Tazz gets their names wrong. That tells me either one of two things. Number one, they’re so generic that they’re identical, or that everything is fine with Tazz. Barring a few seconds at the beginning, this has been all Eddie which I guess could work but at the same time it’s kind of stupid. I do kind of like the slow pace they’re working here if it builds up to a hot finish.

Now it’s just getting boring as we’re getting a lot of headlocks and chinlocks which just suck the life out of the match. Ironically they were talking about the You Suck chant as I typed that. At the time Jindrak was a combination of Buff Bagwell and Rick Rude but with somehow less talent than Bagwell. He does the hip swivel and it looks awful. The announcers talk about how he’s stepped up huge. That’s just a scary thought.

Van Dam comes in and for reasons that I don’t want to know, Cole calls him supple. He sets for the Five Star on Angle but Mark pulls him out of the way. Is that what he’s there for? Just to be a jerk/show off, Van Dam jumps over Angle and hits Jindrak who is about ¾ of the way across the ring. RVD is one of the few people that I’ve ever been in awe of. He hurts his ribs on the splash (naturally) and Angle rolls him up and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

In a funny yet stupid moment, Eddie slips in the back while Angle is arguing with the referee to roll up Jindrak and use the ropes the same way Angle just did to make it 3-2. Ok, so two reasons why this was stupid. Number one, Jindrak wasn’t legal. Two, the announcers LOVE Eddie’s cheating yet booed the heck out of Angle. I know they’re faces and heels but at least pretend to not be biased guys.

After some stalling we have Big Show vs. Angle which lasts for all of a stare down and now we have Reigns in there instead. Oh yeah Show has a messed up ankle. They did such a great job of covering it that I was blown away enough to not mention it. Despite the pain, Show shows up and hits the chokeslam to make it three on one. Show immediately sets for a chokeslam on Angle but Kurt counters into an ankle lock.

Angle tries to run but RVD is waiting for him. For some reason, Angle picks to fight the three. In a funny spot he backs up still facing RVD and backs into Show. He stops and looks nervous and reaches up towards Show’s head where he realizes there’s no hair. He shakes his head and slowly turns around. It’s a lot better than it sounds mainly due to Kurt’s facial expressions.

Show sends him in to Cena (in for the first time in the match) but apparently he’s not legal as Eddie hits a Frog Splash to allow Show to pin him. Cena was never legal so I’m guessing injured still. Now that I think about it I think he really was hurt at this time. Actually never mind. He was making the Marine.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. It started off decently enough but then in the end it was like they were told to hurry up and then everyone went out at a ridiculous pace. Cena wasn’t hurt so I have no clue why he wasn’t in there at all. The faces winning was more or less a given once you look at the lineups, so this just wasn’t entertaining at all really. It could have been good, but it just fell flat, but to be fair they were only going to be able to do so much with it.

Buy the history of the AWA which most of the people that were watching this PPV have never heard of!

This must be the strangest PPV of all time as Maven is getting interview time. If nothing else he’s heavily muscled. He’s bad on the mic but gets cut off by Snitsky. After a rather bad beating and by bad I mean pathetic looking, Maven is carried away.

We get a video about the crazy Heidenrich vs. Undertaker, who really wasn’t that impressive at all. He rammed his car into a hearse Taker was in after costing him the world title at No Mercy.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Apparently I’ve been spelling his name wrong. However it’s likely that I’ll be flipping between the two spellings. He comes out in a straightjacket because he’s CRAZY! He’s also about as stock of a villain as you can possibly imagine. I mean he’s just there and there’s nothing at all to suggest that he’s a tough guy at all. The story here is that Taker can’t use his mental games on Heidenrich. Oh come on now.

For years now everyone Taker feuded with has been “immune” to his games or whatever. They just don’t try with Taker so often and it sucks. Oh and Heidenreich allegedly raped Cole. You had to see it and the comedy alone is worth checking on. Naturally since Taker can’t win against this guy, he opens the match completely dominant. Heyman’s interference prevents Old School to give Jon (Heidenreich’s first name and way easier to type) the advantage.

Taker gets crotched on the post. That’s just creepy for some reason. Are his balls dead too? They hit the floor for awhile with Jonny (no not the admin) in control. Even Taker looks bored out there. That can’t be a good sign. Cole talks down about Heidenreich as he desperately tries to validate his employment. I know he’s improved to an extent, but dang he used to be horrible. He’s beginning to put emphasis on vintage here too, so it’s officially begun.

Old School hits to a bunch of flashbulbs going off. In a cool thing, they point out how many things Taker has done at Survivor Series. How cool is it that a guy has dominated two major pay per views like this? Taker hits a downward spiral which I don’t think I remember him ever using other than this. Apparently Heidenreich has taken everything Taker has to offer. Other than the chokeslam, tombstone or Last Ride of course, but those have never been worth anything anyway.

Cole points out that Jon is talking to himself with every move he makes. Given his limited skill, it’s likely him reminding himself to breathe in and out, and as I type that Heyman is screaming don’t let him breathe! Paul, that’s called murder and that’s a bad thing. Also, Heyman in a beige suit doesn’t work. He screams at Heidenrich that he’s Heidenrich. Is he afraid the dog catcher is going to think he’s a stray or something?

This is just taking forever and it’s painfully generic. They go to a punch out and naturally Taker wins this. He goes to the top and hits a cool looking diving clothesline which gets the crowd breathing. There’s two problems with this match. First of all, Heidenreich sucks and he sucks badly. Second, this is going FAR too long. We’re at about ten minutes already and it should have ended at least three ago.

The crowd is dead with even a big move from Heidenreich and a long two getting next to no reaction. There’s far too many punches to from Jon and it’s boring. Just to step it up a bit, he goes to the middle rope and punches. In what should have put us out of our misery, he grabs the bottom rope to break up the pin. This isn’t fair. Oh come on Jonny. A sleeper now? Oh good Taker reversed it.

There’s your boring chant which should have come about 10 minutes ago. Taker sits up to a mild reaction. One of the most famous spots of all time barely got anything from the crowd. That just isn’t a good sign at all. A generic chokeslam leads to a generic tombstone to a generic pin to perfectly cap off this boring match.

Tazz tries to say this is the furthest Taker has ever been pushed. That’s just flat out hysterical. Actually no it isn’t. It’s freaking sad that a man has to lie like that on national television.

Rating: D. This was just boring. There are times when the wrestling is ok, but it’s just that this formula has been done so many times that I’ve run out of numbers for it. How many times have you seen Taker against some big man that you know he’s going to beat and then have a gimmick match against? Naturally there was a casket match at the Rumble because things just wouldn’t be complete without that to continue this.

Thankfully Jon was gone relatively soon after this, at least from major matches. Amazingly he would stay in the company for an entire year after this, even winning a tag title as a member of the new Legion of Doom. Just thinking of that makes my head hurt. Anyway, this was horrible, mainly due to Heidenreich but Taker isn’t innocent either.

Bischoff says that Maven might not be able to compete and there won’t be a replacement.

We get the recap of Trish vs. Lita which begs the question of why these two need a storyline. Lita, the face, lost her baby due to Snitsky and Trish found it amusing. The recap is complete with a pic of Kane in a white tux so it wins based on that alone. Lita really can’t act.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

As I said, Lita is the face and challenger here. For once, Trish looks better than Lita here. I think it’s the evil thing. Lita has some weird suspenders thing on. She beats the living heck out of Trish and we’re on the floor already. Make your own joke for that line. The redhead grabs a chair and swings at Trish twice with both times completely missing.

I mean the camera shows that they don’t hit at all, and even though Trish’s face was away from the chair, meaning they would have hit her in the back or back of the head, she’s busted open. Knowing Trish, she was hurt to explain why this wasn’t an actual match. Upon further review, she had a broken hand so at least this makes sense.

Lita uses what’s called a rear naked choke on Trish which is really more like her just choking her and shaking on the floor. We get more stuff of Lita trying to injure Trish’s face which led to her wearing a nose protector for a few weeks. This would lead to the first ever women’s match main eventing Raw for the Women’s Title in early December which was a very cool moment.

Rating: N/A. It’s a minute and a half and an angle instead of a match so no grade.

Team Guerrero is happy to have won. Teddy comes in and Big Show takes his towel off which is passed over. Cena, clad in boxers, is told that he’s getting a US Title shot. He would get it on Smackdown and destroy him to get the belt hack. I really don’t like this gimmick of Cena’s.

Recap of Booker vs. JBL, which more or less was this: Booker want a shot, he beats Orlando Jordan, he gets a shot, JBL talks down to him, match. That was the issue with JBL’s title reign: it was ridiculously repetitive with the other flaw being that no one bought him as a credible champion yet, but who cared about that?

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Booker T

This just sounds bad on paper. I mean think about it. Can you picture these two having a good match together? I certainly can’t. Amazingly enough, the match itself is as boring as I imagined it. The announcers are trying to make this seem like a great match or something but it just isn’t. JBL comes out in the big white limo of his which was his signature as you likely know. Booker just looks like he knows he has no chance at all out there tonight.

There’s just not a lot to say about this match. Nothing stands out at all. It’s just two older guys going through the motions which is never a good thing. I really don’t think JBL had the character down in any sense of the word here and you can tell that based on just how plain his offense is. The announcers are no help at all here as they offer no reason as to why we should buy Booker having a shot.

With the HHH feud the previous year, Booker had pinned HHH on Raw which showed us that it was possible. Here he had only been beating on Orlando Jordan which meant nothing at all. Oh look it’s a sleeper! Oh wait, it’s a cobra clutch! Ok wait a second. Not only did JBL completely rip off Ted DiBiase’s gimmick but now he’s trying to steal his finishing hold. My head hurts from this match.

Orlando tries to do a run in but gets beaten up. He’s been out there for most of the match cheating here and there but now he’s stepped it up a bit. I very rarely skip large portions of the match in these, but I’ve gone about five minutes of video and haven’t typed anything for the simple reason of there’s nothing to talk about.

It’s just not an interesting match in the slightest and I have no interest in it. JBL gets knocked into the referee and naturally Booker finally gets the kick but we have no referee. After some Jordan interference a belt shot ends this. Really, that’s the ending they chose? It’s perfect I guess, as it’s as generic and uncreative as I can think of.

Rating: F. This was just awful all around. There was no build up, there was no drama, there was no good wrestling, and there was no reason to watch this. It was boring and the ending was even worse, so what else could I grade this as? I can’t believe I’m saying this but bring on HHH vs. Orton as it has to be better than what I just saw.

Promo for Tribute to the Troops, which is just flat out cool.

Batista is in the back and HHH comes up to him. They more or less say that once they win the partnership with Edge and Snitsky is over. Like I said earlier the winning team gets to run Raw for a month. After HHH leaves, Batista implies to Flair that he would give himself a title match. This was right about when they started pushing Batista as the super beast that he became known as being, leading to his face turn around February.

He was getting huge reactions for months before that but was still heel. You could see it coming, but it was quite well done. He would eventually turn after winning the Rumble where he was considering whether to face HHH or JBL at Mania. He overheard HHH and Flair saying they were leading him around by the nose and he was a face by the end of the night, setting up the inevitable showdown with HHH that everyone knew was coming eventually.

The recap is painfully simple with clips of Evolution running Raw for one night and the face team standing up to them, leading to Bischoff making this match. Of course it’s set to the theme song, which is a decent enough song, but it has no connection to the match at all.

That’s what sucked about the songs: they completely didn’t fit and when they did, they were used for all of one segment on the show and other than that were always playing in the background. Unless you just really liked the song you were so sick of it by the end of the show that you didn’t care about it anymore.

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

HHH, Batista, Snitsky, Edge
Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Maven

Wow those entrances too way too long. Remember there’s no Maven due to the earlier attack. My guess would be this is Vince coming to his senses about putting Maven in the main event of a major PPV. We start with Edge and Benoit which works just fine for me. Edge in purple tights just looks a bit odd. We move over to Snitsky who is apparently goofier than a pet coon. Who has a pet raccoon? Seeing Orton as a young face is just strange to see.

He stops to pose for a second which gets a solid pop. He really could be a good face if he had more hair. The face team is tagging a lot as Jericho is in now. HHH comes in and the noise noticeably drops. The people were just fed up with him at this point which I think is why Orton got such a great reaction: he was something new. Apparently there’s a stipulation that says that Orton can’t challenge for the belt as long as HHH is world champion.

We get some Batista and Orton since they’re the future and all and somehow still are to this day, five years later. The tags are really fast here which is an issue because it keeps there from being a flow to the match, which is the worst thing that can happen to it, at least in my eyes. The crowd is SILENT. I mean there’s nothing at all and it sounds like there’s no one there. I know it’s a small crowd but they could make more noise than this my goodness.

Benoit wakes them up a bit at least, and I mean that in the most literal of sense. The rolling Germans really do get the people going for a bit and they’re at least popping for big spots so we don’t need 7,500 coffins. While everyone else is brawling, Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on HHH but Edge breaks it up. In some hot Canadian on Canadian action we have Edge in a crossface. Batista breaks it up, leading to one of the worst pedigrees of all time on Benoit.

Edge covers him and takes the win to make it unofficially 4-2. Nice job guys. You have gotten rid of the only person that’s actually getting anything out of the crowd tonight. It’s Edge against Jericho now but as I say that HHH and Snitsky argue over who tagged Edge which includes at least one F bomb. Batista and Snitsky argue as well which gets us a second. Flair gets thrown out for messing with Jericho.

That gets people going as I guess they were just bored at the beginning when nothing was really going to happen, so I guess that makes sense. Since he’s awesome, Batista takes both Orton and Jericho down at the same time. He hits a heck of a spinebuster on Jericho but gets caught with an awful belt shot from Orton and a running enziguri which Jericho was using as a second finisher until he realized it sucked to make it 3-2 or really 3-3 gives how you look at it.

Snitsky uses the best offensive move that he has by choking Jericho. Orton has a really weird style of punching. He’s changed it since but it just looks really weird. After the faces get their collective faces kicked in, their knight with shining eyebrows comes out in the form of Maven.

Now let me get this straight. I understand that Maven was attacked. I understand that Maven was injured and might not be healthy enough to compete. I understand that he might be acting against doctor’s orders. I even can kind of understand how he should be in the main event as he’s a young guy fighting against the establishment. But why in the world after two hours has he not washed the blood off his face?

He looks completely lost out there too. I mean you can tell that he just isn’t ready for this, which isn’t his fault. Granted he never really got much better, but he just wasn’t ready for this yet. He plays to the crowd decently enough but that’s about all he does right. He’s trying as hard as he OH MY GOODNESS what a chair shot! Snitsky just cracked the living tar out of Maven with a SICK chair shot. He’s gone of course but he hits Jericho and Orton with it first.

HHH covers the unconscious Maven to make it Orton and Jericho against HHH and Edge. Maven really was kind of a sacrificial lamb because he was never in there for the most part and was able to cancel out Snitsky. In other words Snitsky was worth as much as a guy that wasn’t in the match for the most part. These jokes write themselves most of the time but never like that. If you can’t tell who the final two are going to be, you’re a freaking idiot.

Edge starts freaking out because he can’t pin Jericho. Why does that sound like the story of his life? Never mind he gets him after a spear to make it Orton against two tall guys, which isn’t a great way to describe them because they’re all about 6’4. We get a pretty boring back and forth segment with Edge vs. Orton a longer version with HHH playing the part of the egotistical jerk in a joke that I don’t even need to make.

They go for the double team and shockingly enough the spear misses and HHH is down. You know what, that was so predictable that it wasn’t even funny to me. It’s such a cliché anymore than it’s absurd. Edge turns around and takes an RKO to get us down to one on one. Orton needs to start doing it like that again. He does it in a more fluid motion at the moment and I’m not a fan of it at all.

This is more Orton is just right there waiting and partially on his way down already when Edge turns around. The impact is a lot better and the move looks better this way. Also he does it with one arm which I like more as well.

Anyway after about two minutes he counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the clean pin, which moves the storyline along because Orton has shown he can beat HHH but isn’t allowed to challenge him, thus strengthening his heel character. Only HHH could come up with a way to get stronger by losing clean.

Rating: B-. This was….ok. That’s the only think I can think of to describe it and it has to have the ellipse which is a two dollar word currently on sale for 89 cents and it means the three dots. The wrestling is pretty good but Maven and Snitsky in the main event? Really? Also Edge was about at the level of John Morrison at the moment (the day before Hell in a Cell in case he’s done something really big in the last month and a half) so he wasn’t exactly a lock to be in here.

Jericho just looked out of place and they had already stopped Benoit’s push as he goes from world champion to first guy out. The match is ok, but it’s really nothing great. Orton won though which was the absolute right ending.

Overall Rating: C-. If I had one word to describe this show, it would be lackluster. I mean look at it. What on the card would make you want to watch this show for free, let alone for 40 dollars? This would have been ok for something like Judgment Day maybe, but not Survivor Series. This is just nothing special at all, plain and simple.

Shelton and Christian or the main event gets match of the night more or less by default which is never a good sign at all. This is definitely not recommended as it just isn’t an interesting show. The wrestling is passable, but there’s just nothing here to make me want to see this at all, which has given me a thread idea so there we go.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – September 28, 2020: Get The Microwave Ready

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 28, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

Clash Of Champions has come and gone and we are on the way to the Cell. That could mean a few different directions, though Orton vs. McIntyre III would seem to be in the cards. At the same time though, the Draft is looming and that means we could be in for a big shakeup in the next few weeks. Hopefully we don’t have a big lull for the next few weeks on the way there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Ric Flair, Big Show, Christian and Shawn Michaels to get things going. Shawn welcomes us to the show and introduces Drew McIntyre for the big congratulations. Drew talks about knowing all of these people for years, including how they all guided him as far as he has gotten. Drew tells a story of Flair being on the active roster when he first arrived in American (Drew: “Before somebody retired you.”). He couldn’t believe he was on the main roster as Ric Flair and it was one of the coolest things he had ever seen.

Then last night he defeated Randy Orton and is he is still WWE Champion. Shawn talks about how they’re all here to congratulate him and he hopes that Drew isn’t mad about that. If he is mad, it was all Ric’s fault. Drew is cool with them….and here’s Orton on the Titantron. Orton says this is over when he says it is, so Drew knows he is going to beg for another match.

Orton says he won’t have to beg because he is Randy Orton and will get another title shot. He’s here today to say there is a price to pay when you cross the Legend Killer. Orton walks over to….get his bag and leaves. Drew wants to be a fighting champion so tonight, anyone who has never gotten a shot against him can get a title match. Somebody please step up.

We recap Asuka beating Zelina Vega to retain the Raw Women’s Title, followed by Vega attacking her after the match.

Vega says she is ready but here’s Asuka to yell at her. They have to be held apart.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Zelina Vega

Asuka is defending and mouths the Big Match Intros for a nice touch. Vega fights out of an armbar to start and grabs an Octopus on the mat. They head outside with Asuka knocking her down as we take a break. Back with Vega grabbing an armbar and making Asuka hold her up at the same time. Asuka muscles her over with a suplex for the break and tries the Asuka Lock, sending Vega straight to the ropes. A Backstabber gives Vega a quick two but her moonsault only hits knees. Asuka is right back with the Asuka Lock to retain at 8:38.

Rating: C. Nothing close to their match last night but that is usually the case with the post pay per view rematches. They really didn’t need to do a rematch in the first place as Vega got a lot out of last night’s match. This was a downgrade, though it wasn’t terrible by any means. It just didn’t need to happen, but why go with what makes sense when you can just do the same thing?

The legends are still here and a poker game has broken out.

Post break Andrade is in the ring to yell at Zelina Vega for being nothing without him. Vega leaves and Andrade starts ranting about how he was holding the team together last night before Angel Garza got hurt. He is the best in the company and it’s open challenge time.

Andrade vs. Keith Lee

Lee shoves him around to start but Andrade slips away. Some arm cranking has Andrade in more trouble but he goes for the knee to slow Lee down. The running knees in the corner connect but Lee is right back with the Spirit Bomb for the pin at 2:53. Presenting the Spirit Bomb (or hopefully the Big Bang Catastrophe as well) as this sudden freight train that no one can handle is a good way to go and something that could work out well.

Earlier today, the Hurt Business was in catering when a random guy came and took Bobby Lashley’s seat. Lashley showed up and the guy moved over, but that was still Lashley’s seat. Some glaring got rid of the guy, but Lashley had him leave his food anyway. MVP looks a little confused but they all start laughing.

We look back at Akira Tozawa being eaten by a shark.

R-Truth is playing chess with Little Jimmy but here’s a Ninja with a letter for him. It’s in Japanese, but the Ninja provides an English version as well. The letter says that if Truth is readying this, Tozawa has been eaten by a shark. Their battles were epic though and now that he is gone, Truth needs to have this. It’s Tozawa’s black belt, leaving truth to wonder why Tozawa had to be devoured. Tozawa pops out from under a table and wins the title. The Ninja jumps Tozawa though and steals the title, revealing himself as Drew Gulak. Truth hits him in the head and steals it right back.

We look back at the Seth Rollins/Mysterio Family genetics drama last week.

Seth Rollins comes up to Murphy in the back and mentions that the Mysterios will be on the King’s Court tonight. Murphy is in his gear though and Rollins doesn’t like it. Rollins had a suit ready for him and says go put it on, which Murphy begrudgingly does. With Murphy gone, Rollins steals Murphy’s phone and pockets it.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler bringing out the Mysterio Family. Rey and Dominik want to finish things with Rollins and Murphy but Lawler asks about Murphy talking to Aaliyah last week. She says she’s 19 years old and Murphy talked to her. What she does know is that someone who associates with Rollins needs to evaluate things because he is evil.

Rollins pops up on screen to say he needs to tell them the truth. The truth is that one of them isn’t being 100% honest with the rest of the family. The truth is that Aaliyah might not be telling the truth about Murphy. Rollins shows us a screenshot from Murphy’s phone of Murphy and Aaliyah texting each other.

Murphy apologizes again and Aaliyah seems interested in his offer to spend some time together, even wishing him a happy birthday. Back in the arena, Aaliyah says Murphy isn’t like Rollins and leaves, with Rey and Angie following her. Murphy comes up to Rollins in the back and grabs him by the shirt as Rollins laughs. Dominik runs up and jumps Murphy until agents break it up. The soap opera drama isn’t making up for the fact that this story has been going on for almost five months.

Here are Lana and Natalya to say that they want the Women’s Tag Team Titles because Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax can’t defend them. Adam Pearce comes out and makes a tag match for right now.

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Lana/Natalya

Natalya headlocks Dana to start but Dana fights up and hits the handspring elbow in the corner. A cartwheel kick to the face gets two on Natalya but Lana comes in off a blind tag for her own kick to Dana’s face. Lana grabs the chinlock for a bit until Dana fights up and brings Mandy back in. A faceplant gets two on Lana and a jumping knee finishes her off at 3:10.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work and I’m not exactly surprised. These four are not the ones you need out there to make a match work and that was the case here again. Lana, Brooke and Mandy are not exactly polished in the ring and Natalya is hardly the most popular star. This was almost never going to work and it really didn’t here.

We look back at Aleister Black attacking Kevin Owens last week.

Black thought Owens was a good man but Black isn’t buying Owens saying one thing and having everyone change their thoughts on him. Owens has a history of betraying people and at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many people forget and forgive. The eye patch comes off and Black says he will not forget.

The legends are playing poker when the Street Profits come in to join the party.

Kevin Owens vs. Aleister Black

Black has lost the rising board entrance and now has music with a voiceover at the beginning. Owens jumps him to start and the fight heads outside with Black being driven into various things. Black comes back with some strikes of his own, only to get hit in the face. A clothesline takes him down again and the backsplash crushes Black again.

Black is suplexes down again and rolls out to the floor, with Owens hitting a Swanton off the apron. We take a break and come back with Black kicking Owens between the shoulders and adding a running kick to the chest for two. The front facelock keeps Owens in trouble for a bit and a big kick to the head gives Black two more.

Owens gets in a hard shot for his own two but gets sat on top. Black’s superplex attempt is blocked and shoved away but the Swanton hits knees. Black nails a jumping knee to the face for some near falls but the referee yells at Black for attacking on the ropes. Owens slugs back but Black unloads, accidentally hitting the referee in the process for the DQ at 13:18.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the most thrilling stuff after the break and I’m not exactly looking forward to what we are going to be seeing with Black’s latest moodiness. He was getting somewhere with the face run and the longer matches, but this was a bunch of kicks and a chinlock until we got to the finish. Black worked a lot better as a face, but for now we’re stuck getting through this.

Post match Owens gives Black a Stunner.

Mustafa Ali runs into the Hurt Business, who isn’t pleased. They hit him in the face but here are Apollo Crews and Ricochet to say they’ll see them tonight.

24/7 Title: R-Truth vs. Drew Gulak vs. Akira Tozawa

Truth is defending and gets double teamed to start, but Gulak and Tozawa fight over who gets to go for the cover. With that argument out of the way, we hit a double arm crank until Gulak throws Tozawa outside (bumping into the referee in the process). The Gulock has Truth in trouble until Tozawa makes the save. A sitout gordbuster hits Tozawa and Gulak gets AA’d onto Tozawa to retain Truth’s title at 4:17.

Rating: D+. This was a weird situation as they just had a match instead of doing any wacky shenanigans. That being said, it was kind of a downgrade to not have the goofiness as it left them with a run of the mill triple threat. It wasn’t terrible or anything, but this was about five minutes that just came and went.

Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose are coming for the Women’s Tag Team Titles. Also, Dana sees Mandy as an inspiration. I’d ask how but that might just make things worse.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Murphy

Dominik starts fast and hammers away in the corner before they go outside. Murphy sends him over the announcers’ table for a nine count but Dominik is back in with a high crossbody. Some shots to the face have Murphy in trouble until he scores with a pump knee to the face. Dominick is back with a tornado DDT and some stomps in the corner send Murphy outside. It’s kendo stick time but here’s Aaliyah to say don’t do it. The distraction lets Murphy roll Dominik up for the pin with tights at 7:13.

Rating: C-. This is a situation where the wrestling doesn’t matter. The problem here is how this story has dragged on for months and they just keep finding ways to extend it. Dominik and the rest of the family aren’t interesting but we’ve had so much between Rey and Rollins that it can’t be done any more. The match was fine, but I can’t bring myself to care about anything involved.

Post match Dominik unloads with the kendo stick but Aaliyah tells him to stop. Dominik says this is for the family but Aaliyah says Murphy isn’t like Rollins. Dominik says she really is naive and she slaps him in the face.

Dolph Ziggler talks to Adam Pearce about his idea for the open challenge. It’s going to be Robert Roode isn’t it?

Here’s the Hurt Business, minus Cedric Alexander, for their six man. Before the match, MVP says Cedric Alexander messed up last week so he’s off at Hurt Business Boot Camp to avoid future mistakes. As for Apollo Crews, he is the definition of insanity as he keeps trying to take on the Hurt Business and gets dropped over and over. It happened at Payback, it happened at Clash of Champions and it is going to happen again tonight.

Hurt Business vs. Ricochet/Apollo Crews/Mustafa Ali

Ricochet and company jump the Hurt Business before the bell and the brawl is on outside. Hold on though as the lights flicker and Retribution’s logo pops up everywhere. We take a break and come back with the match in progress and Benjamin grabbing a chinlock on Crews. MVP comes in but misses the running boot in the corner, only to have Lashley break up the tag attempt. Crews hits a German suplex and frog crossbody to MVP though, allowing the hot tag to Ricochet.

The pace picks up in a hurry but Ricochet has to bail out of the Phoenix splash, allowing MVP to kick him in the face. The Playmaker is countered though and Ricochet hits his own kick to MVP’s face. It’s off to Ali to pick up the pace, including a running neckbreaker for two. Lashley pulls Ali to the floor where Crews makes a save with a moonsault off the apron. Back in and Ali hits most of his tornado DDT (thankfully commentary doesn’t act like it was hit perfectly), setting up the 450 for the pin at 5:23 shown.

Rating: C. This was more of the same feud that we’ve seen from everyone involved and I can take that over a lot of the other things that we have seen on the show. The Hurt Business seems ready to move on but with Retribution in quarantine, there is only so much that they can do. Granted having them lose isn’t the most logical move, but I can go for Ali getting another win.

Ric Flair keeps winning at poker.

Bianca Belair outruns a bunch of other people because she’s the fastest.

Video on Retribution.

Here’s Drew McIntyre for the Open Challenge for a title shot. No one comes out at first so McIntyre asks how Charles Robinson’s day is going. Cue Dolph Ziggler though and we have an opponent.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Robert Roode

Roode is challenging and rakes Drew’s damaged back to put the champ in early trouble. They’re out on the floor in a hurry though, with Drew hitting the reverse Alabama Slam onto the apron as we take an early break. Back with Roode knocking McIntyre into the Tree of Woe, only to have McIntyre sit up for the choke throw off the top. Ziggler offers a distraction though and Roode goes after the leg to take over.

The leg is wrapped around the post and then dropped onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Roode hits a top rope clothesline for two, followed by the Figure Four in the middle of the ring. McIntyre turns it over to send Roode bailing to the ropes for the break and they both need a breather.

It’s McIntyre back up first with the Glasgow Kiss into the overhead belly to belly suplexes. There’s the nip up but McIntyre’s knee gives out. Roode’s spinebuster gets two and McIntyre’s Futureshock gets the same. McIntyre takes Roode out but walks into the Glorious DDT for two more. That’s enough for McIntyre as he hits the Claymore to retain at 12:38.

Rating: B-. Perfectly nice main event here with a bit of drama before McIntyre retained. Roode is someone who may not have the most varied offense but he does everything rather well, which is a style that is going to make anyone look good. I liked the match well enough, even though the challenger was pretty obvious.

We cut to the back where Randy Orton, dressed as a janitor, goes into to the Legends’ Lounge (yes it has its own sign), whips out some night vision goggles, turns out the lights, and apparently nearly massacres everyone with a chair. Orton leaves, throws his hood up, and points referees and trainers to the room to end the show. So….it’s pretty much the same way they set up Summerslam but now it’s the third match in the trilogy and it’s going to be in the Cell?

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was passable enough tonight and they have set up a few things for the future, but there was a lot of warmed over leftovers on this show and it made the show feel long. Asuka vs. Vega II, R-Truth still doing his wacky 24/7 stuff, MORE Mysterios vs. Rollins/Murphy, the Hurt Business vs. Ricochet N Pals and a spinoff of McIntyre vs. Ziggler to set up McIntyre vs. Orton III. That isn’t quite inspiring stuff and while a lot of what we had here was fine, it wasn’t exactly fun to watch. Oh and there is an open challenge for the World Title and Keith Lee chose to face Andrade. How bright of him.

Results

Asuka b. Zelina Vega – Asuka Lock

Keith Lee b. Andrade – Spirit Bomb

Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose b. Lana/Natalya – Jumping knee to Lana

Kevin Owens b. Aleister Black via DQ when Black hit the referee

R-Truth b. Drew Gulak and Akira Tozawa – Gulak was AA’d onto Tozawa

Murphy b. Dominik Mysterio – Rollup with tights

Mustafa Ali/Ricochet/Apollo Crews b. Hurt Business – 450 to MVP

Drew McIntyre b. Robert Roode – Claymore

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2019 Redo): That’s A Hot One

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Post match Cena hands him the title and leaves, likely straight to the hospital to get that thing out of his arm. The confetti falls and pyro goes off….and here’s Randy Orton with the other Money in the Bank briefcase, because we needed two of them. Orton does the big staredown, teases leaving, turns back around…and HHH lays Bryan out with the Pedigree to turn full heel.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2016 Redo): Hold On

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,166
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the show that was voted on for the annual redo and I can’t say I’m complaining. The show was instantly revered and it held up when I watched it the second time. We’ve got a double main event with Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title and CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar in the Best vs. the Beast. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and we still have the full Shield entrance (no Reigns/Rollins here) through the crowd, which is still just cool. A shoulder drops Rob to start and Dean grabs a hammerlock as it’s a slow pace early on. Rob clotheslines him into a headlock but charges into a boot to the face for two. A neckbreaker gives Dean the same and we hit the neck crank as we’re somehow four minutes into this.

Ambrose gets in a running dropkick and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. Rob kicks him down to set up the Five Star but Rollins and Reigns come through the crowd, rendering him completely incapable of jumping. Big Show and Mark Henry show up as well though, putting us all even as we as we take a break.

Back with Dean grabbing a chinlock and sending Rob outside. That means a staredown on the floor as Henry and Show earn those paychecks and DVD royalties. Rob drops Dean on the barricade and hits the spinning kick to the back. A rollup gives Rob two back inside but he walks into a good looking spinebuster for two. Dean misses a top rope elbow but Rob has to go after Rollins instead of Five Starring. Rolling Thunder crushes Dean and it’s Five Star time, only to have Reigns spear Rob down for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty sad way to start the show as you would expect a lot more from these two. Ambrose was a very natural arrogant heel but Rob was just going through the motions. It didn’t help that the big plot point, Show and Henry, did NOTHING here and Reigns interfered anyway. It’s never a good sign when you can completely take people out of a match and it changes nothing but that was the case here. Really disappointing outing.

And now on to the mai…..IT’S LESS THAN THREE HOURS!!! Oh sweet goodness happy days are here again!

Here’s the Miz, your host for the evening and still a face here, to open things up. He explains the two main events, just in case people stumbled in here expecting a free car wash. Fandango and Summer Rae (dang) cut him off and dance around him. Miz: “Really? Really?” Anyway, welcome to Summerslam.

The opening video talks about how the stars are out tonight and has a bit of a grainy look to it for a unique visual. As you might expect, the two main events receive most of the attention. Of note: the instrumental background music would become Akira Tozawa’s theme.

JoJo sings the National Anthem, which was a plot point on Total Divas because Total Divas is creatively bankrupt.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire like an inferno match but you win by regular means. It’s also Wyatt’s in-ring debut, which is kind of gobsmacking. Kane unloads on him in the corner to start as the arena is much darker than usual to show off the flames. A clothesline drops Wyatt and the flames go over the top rope.

Kane gets in a suplex for the same result as Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are panicking on the floor. The fact that they’re there more or less guarantees they find a way to interfere, thereby making the gimmick worthless. Wyatt hits a running splash in the corner and hammers away on the mat. A big boot to the…..arm maybe drops Wyatt and there’s the sidewalk slam for no cover.

Harper tries to grab a kendo stick but it gets caught on fire, sending an overzealous fireman to put it out. Rowan takes his extinguisher but can’t get rid of the flames. The chokeslam plants Wyatt for no cover as Kane would rather do it again, likely so Harper and Rowan can figure out a way inside. They find a fireproof….something and get inside for the big beatdown. Rowan splashes Kane and Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:48.

Rating: F+. This was WAY worse than I remember as it was literally just killing time until the ending. The ending was as telegraphed as it could have been and there was never any drama. Instead of actually having a match, this was a mental exercise for the Family and that’s REALLY not how you want to debut someone with the kind of potential Wyatt has.

Post match the Wyatts crush Kane with the steps and carry him off to film See No Evil 2.

The Kickoff Show panel wastes a minute of our time.

We see a Paul Heyman promo on the Kickoff Show, talking about how in reality, David would have thrown a stone at Goliath and then taken the beating of a lifetime. As a bonus, tonight’s match is No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners until Sandow won the Money in the Bank briefcase (it’s still the brown one which looks like a Hershey bar) in the surprise for the sake of swerving the fans who KNEW Cody was going to win (which he was). Before the match, Sandow says he was the leader of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight, he’s sending Cody back to the Rhodes Family so they can be dumb and dumber. Cole’s big plug for the entrances: watch the JBL and Cole Show to find out why Cody shaved his mustache!

They start fast with Sandow shoving him into the corner but getting backdropped. The gordbuster gives Cody two but a legsweep sends him outside. Back in and some knees to the back set up a bow and arrow hold. Sandow has to fight out of an early Cross Rhodes attempt and drops the Wind Up Elbow for two. I know Sandow has the charisma but dang it’s not working in the ring.

Sandow puts on a standing leglock for a few moment before switching to just rubbing Cody’s face in the mat. Cody catches him on the top though and it’s something like a Muscle Buster for two. A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Sandow but he comes right back with a running flip neckbreaker for the same. Cody nails the Disaster Kick for the near fall, followed by Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: C+. They were working hard out there and had a good match but it’s very clear that Sandow is in WAY over his head with the briefcase. I don’t think anyone really bought him as a main eventer at this point and his pretty worthless TNA run doesn’t exactly change the theory that it was the stunt double gimmick that was so good and not him.

Video on Christian, who is back for one more run at the World Title.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Christian is challenging. Del Rio has Lillian Garcia introduce him in Spanish, which isn’t quite a heel move in a major Hispanic market. Alberto grabs a headlock but gets slapped for his efforts, followed by the back of the neck snap across the top rope. That’s fine with him though as he puts Christian on the top for a heck of a running enziguri to put Christian in the Tree of Woe.

Del Rio starts in on the arm by sending it into the barricade and it’s off to an early armbar. A top rope double stomp to the shoulder makes it even worse, but not as bad as it would be with the top rope double stomp out of the Tree of Woe. The champ misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor to give Christian a breather. Back in and Del Rio dives into a raised boot, followed by a middle rope missile dropkick for no cover. The high crossbody gets two but Christian is holding the arm.

It’s too early for the Killswitch so Christian goes up, only to get pulled off the middle rope with a Backstabber in a cool spot. A middle rope backsplash doesn’t work for the champ but he’s still able to block the spear (which Christian should NEVER use) with a dropkick. Del Rio takes down his kneepad but gets rolled up for two more. Now the spear connects, only to have the shoulder give out. That means a cross armbreaker and Christian taps (rather surprising) at 12:30.

Rating: B. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting, which I think is what I said when I watched this the first time around too. Christian was a great choice for a challenger at this level as he’s going to have a good match no matter what. Unfortunately this was about it for him as he would only wrestle a few more matches in 2013, then come back for another short run to start the new year, ending with a concussion that caused his retirement. It’s a shame, but probably for the best as you don’t want to mess with that area.

Post match Del Rio says the Mexican people need an idol and his name is Alberto Del Rio.

Clips from Summerslam Axxess, which has never come close to matching the Wrestlemania version.

Miz (oh yeah he’s here) talks to Maria Menunos, who won in a tag match at Axxess. Fandango and Summer Rae dance in again but this time Miz and Maria show them up with some dancing of their own. Did you know Maria Menunos of some entertainment show is here? If you don’t, you will when this is all over that show.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

No story of note here, but Cole introduces the two of them as “some of the stars of Total Divas”. Just in case you thought Summerslam was the point here. Naturally more cast members are at ringside and sweet goodness I forgot how annoying this era was for the women. Feeling out process to start as Natalya tries to do any kind of wrestling with Brie. They finally go with the slapping until Natalya sends her outside for a baseball slide. The JBL and MICHAEL COLE chants start up and there’s the JERRY chant to complete the trio.

Brie grabs a chinlock and the fans want tables. A jawbreaker gets Natalya out of trouble and she grabs the Sharpshooter until Brie slips out and sends her hard into the corner. We get the required catfight on the floor and it’s time for a Zack Ryder chant. The yet to be named BRIE MODE knee seems to wake Natalya up as it’s the Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 5:18.

Rating: D-. The match could have been so much worse but the story, or lack thereof, had this thing doomed from the start. This was back at the start of the Total Divas era and fans hadn’t gotten sick of the show yet. They don’t get along on Total Divas for whatever nonsense reason the writers have come up with so here’s a short match between them. Not horrible but sweet goodness could we please get the tiniest bit of effort?

Earlier today, Ryback poured soup on a catering worker.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and I begin to smile. This is mainly about Punk vs. Paul Heyman, who had been Punk’s supporter for years. Then Punk started to change his attitude and told Heyman that he wanted to do this by himself. That wasn’t cool with Heyman, who cost him the Money in the Bank ladder match. Punk went after Heyman so Brock Lesnar returned to be Heyman’s muscle. The match was set with the great tagline “The Best vs. The Beast.” Do you need much more than that?

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot but Brock Lesnar coming down the aisle is one of the scariest sights in wrestling. Punk charges right at him and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders. A hard whip sends Punk into a different corner as the fans are trying to stay behind him. Punk’s strikes have almost no effect (Punk not being able to strike with an MMA guy? I’m sure that won’t be an even bigger joke three years later.) and Brock easily stomps him down in the corner.

Punk gets in a kick to the jaw and a pair of running knees knock Lesnar outside for a suicide dive. That’s exactly the kind of hope spot that the fans needed to get back into this but Lesnar cuts them off by slamming the steps, which are in Punk’s hands, straight into Punk’s face. Punk http://onhealthy.net/product-category/mental-disorders/ posts him though and scores with the clothesline off the barricade, only to make the mistake of going after Heyman.

One heck of a toss sends Punk over the announcers’ table as there’s not much of a way around that kind of power. That’s not good enough though as Brock throws him over the other table, just so it won’t feel left out. Lesnar jumps into a stomp onto a piece of the table onto Punk before sending him flying off a belly to belly (leaving a big sweat stain on the floor).

Back in and Lesnar fires off more shoulders to the ribs and we hit the bearhug. An elbow to the nose staggers Brock for a bit but he knees Punk hard in the ribs to put him down again. It’s back to the bearhug as they’re doing a good job with cutting off the hope spots. Punk kicks away but dives right into a fall away slam to cut him off again. A chinlock lasts for a little while until Punk fights up and bites the ear to escape.

Punk FINALLY drops him with a series of kicks and the running knee in the corner makes it even worse. Lesnar catches a running knee but Punk escapes and high kicks him down, setting up the Macho Elbow (looked awful, almost more like a sideways splash) for a pretty hot two. Neither finisher can connect so Punk kicks him in the head again and Brock goes down from a single shot. You don’t see that every day.

The GTS is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. A powerbomb doesn’t break the hold so Brock lifts him up again, shrugs off the elbows to the head and PLANTS Punk with a running powerbomb. The fans are INSANE for Punk but Brock cuts them off with the most vicious Three Amigos you’ll ever see. Brock very slowly heads outside to grab a chair so Punk dives onto him, only to land on the chair, which lands on Lesnar to put both of them down.

It’s Punk up first with the chair though and he wears Brock out….until Lesnar just takes it away from him. That’s fine with Punk as a low blow gets him out of trouble (Punk: “WHERE’S YOUR CUP NOW UFC BOY???”) and freaks Heyman out all over again. Punk takes the chair up top and drops something like a Macho Elbow for two more. A few more chair shots have Lesnar in trouble until Heyman takes it away.

Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to block the F5 (smart) and it’s the GTS but Heyman makes the save for the false finish of the year. Reality sets in on Heyman (as only it can) and he realizes there’s no Brock to save him. Punk gives chase but runs into the F5, which he counters into a tornado DDT for two more. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Punk lets it go to cut Heyman off. A big right hand drops Paul, only to have Lesnar BLAST Punk with the chair. The F5 onto the chair finally ends Punk at 25:18.

Rating: A+. I gave this Match of the Year and I’m certainly not changing that now. This was a total war with Punk shocking the heck out of me by taking Lesnar to the limit. If nothing else, this is the textbook example of how to book Lesnar vs. a smaller guy. You even have Punk saving some face by having Heyman interfere so often. It’s an outstanding match and easily holds up four years later.

As I mentioned a few times, Punk was giving the fans just enough hope spots to keep things going. No one was going to buy Punk hanging in a fist fight with him (nor should they have bought it with HHH but that’s a long issue for another time) but they could buy him getting in a few shots here and there and giving it all he had. That’s wrestling storytelling in a nutshell and it was as entertaining as it could have been. If not for Punk vs. Cena in 2011, this would be Punk’s WWE masterpiece.

Punk pulls himself up and gets the hero’s ovation. It’s a shame that he would be gone in four months.

A fan agreed to trade tickets to a house show for three tickets to Summerslam and Summerslam Axxess if he took a splash from Mark Henry. Oh and he gets to sit ringside (meaning in front of the announcers’ tables for the next match). Well gee I wonder if that’s a hard decision.

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn

Former partners/couple who split up and absolutely no one is interested here. The guys start things off and it’s an early belly to belly to drop Ziggler. We hit an early abdominal stretch with a stomach claw thrown in as a bonus. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the too early to be a hot tag brings in the women. AJ spin kicks Kaitlyn down for two and it’s off to a cravate.

Back to back neckbreakers give AJ….an opportunity to dance around the ring, allowing Kaitlyn to kick her away. The hot tag brings in Dolph for another dropkick and his jumping elbows. Big E. is right back up with a powerbomb backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making a save. A charge hits post though and Kaitlyn spears AJ in half on the floor. The Big Ending is countered and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 6:42.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here and were in the death spot, which doesn’t work very well when they’re doing a TV match. It’s not terrible or anything and Kaitlyn spearing AJ is always entertaining. They were still getting ready to launch the Women’s Revolution down in NXT so this was about as good as you were going to get from the women at this point. Big E. vs. Ziggler kept going for a good while but never went anywhere, which is why New Day was the best thing that could have happened to Langston.

Fandango interrupts Miz again and finally gets punched out.

The Kickoff Show panel goes over their main event picks and talk about some of the show.

We recap John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan. Daniel had been on the roll of a lifetime and Cena was allowed to pick his challenger for Summerslam. Cena selected Daniel Bryan but Vince McMahon was suddenly against Bryan as the top star. It was clearly Bryan vs. the establishment and as a bonus, HHH will be guest referee for the title match. I’m sure nothing will come of it.

Bryan vs. Cena was built up as a big fight as well with Bryan calling Cena a phony who wasn’t here for the wrestling. Cena said he’s had his share of great matches but he’s had them while holding the WWE World Title. Bryan is the best competition around but the best isn’t going to be good enough.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging, Cena has a baseball sized amount of fluid in his elbow which is going to force him to leave almost immediately after this show, and HHH is guest referee. Cena headlocks him to the mat to start but Bryan armdrags him off. The test of strength drives Bryan down again but Cena can’t break his bridge in an impressive (and surprising) power display. The threat of a YES Lock sends Cena bailing out to the floor and we take a breather.

Back in and Bryan easily takes him down for a surfboard, only to have Cena kick him away without much effort. Cena kicks him into the steps and suplexes him off the steps for good measure. If quiets the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants for a few seconds but they’re quickly replaced by the YOU STILL SUCK chants. At least they’re consistent in their hatred. Back in and Cena powers him away again before countering a hurricanrana attempt with a sitout powerbomb.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Cena powers up and fires off some kicks in the corner. Cena fights up again and tries the finishing sequence, only to have the Shuffle broken up with a kick to the face. The second attempt works a bit better though and is good for two but Bryan kicks him in the eye again. Cena is starting to sport a black eye but Bryan wisely starts going after the arm. A quick STF attempt is countered into an STF from Bryan but Cena makes the ropes.

The AA is countered straight into the YES Lock and Cena is in trouble. He powers out again so Bryan slaps on a guillotine as Cena just can’t shake him off for good. The hold is finally broken and Bryan is a bit surprised, allowing Cena to grab a quick AA for two. Cena heads up but Bryan is right there again with a superplex. Bryan hangs on and pulls himself back up for the Swan Dive and a very near fall.

The suicide dive is blocked with a hard forearm and now the top rope Fameasser is good for two. With a one and one record up top, Cena tries it again, this time loading Bryan up for a super AA. Bryan tries a super hurricanrana to counter but Cena counters into what looked like an attempt at a Styles Clash, only to drop Bryan SQUARE ON HIS HEAD with a scary sounding thud.

The STF goes on but breaks down a bit with Cena winding up on his side, allowing Bryan to flip over into the YES Lock. Cena makes the rope again so Bryan goes back to the strikes with the running corner dropkicks. That’s fine with Cena, who turns Bryan inside out with the hard clothesline. NOW the fans are into both guys and there’s no reason for them to not be.

They slug it out until a double clothesline puts both guys down for another breather. Cena slaps Bryan hard in the face so Bryan does the same right back but Cena powers him up for the AA. That’s countered into a hard DDT though and Cena is in trouble again. One heck of a kick to the head drops Cena and Bryan debuts the running knee for the pin and the title in a shocking finish at 26:55.

Rating: A+. Yeah this worked too. The fact that Bryan pinned him clean was the completely correct call as the win is what matters, not the title itself. Bryan looks like the biggest star in the world now and this is confirmation that WWE sees him as a top name. The fact that it was an outstanding match helps things even better, but that ending is still perfect. Bryan beat Cena down and then hit a finisher to pin him. What else could he possibly ask for? Well, save for what came at Wrestlemania of course but sweet goodness this was outstanding stuff.

Cena stares Bryan down but shakes his hand. Pyro and confetti go off….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Randy holds up the case at ringside so Bryan says bring it. Orton turns around and walks away, leaving HHH (who called the match right down the line and was a complete non-factor) to turn on Bryan and lay him out with the Pedigree.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Faster than I can type Orton is challenging (ok not really), he wins the title at 8 seconds.

The crowd is eerily quiet as HHH hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Everything that needed to be great was WAY beyond great and everything else was as forgettable (and thankfully short) as it needed to be. The whole thing that matters here are two matches combining for over fifty minutes (remember that it’s less than three hours long) and they’re both instant Match of the Year candidates. This show is an absolute classic and well worth checking out for the last great pre-Network shows.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2014 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

What is up with that opener? I really liked it that much earlier on?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/18/summerslam-2013-a-star-is-born/

And the 2014 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2013-2014-redo-what-a-difference-a-year-makes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2014 Redo): The Best Incarnate

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show was almost universally the Show of the Year for 2013 and I’ve been really interested in seeing how it holds up. There’s a double main event with Cena vs. Bryan for the World Title and Lesnar vs. Punk in Punk’s attempt to get revenge on Lesnar’s manager Paul Heyman for screwing him over back in July. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is making a rare defense here after Rob won a battle royal or something. Feeling out process to start with Dean saying bring it on. They trade hammerlocks until Rob nails a running shoulder and a kick to the jaw. Rob hammers away in the corner but runs into a boot to give Dean control. A neckbreaker gives Ambrose a two count and the fans are split on who they like best.

Dean hits the dropkick against the ropes and puts on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long though and Rob comes back with a quick moonsault, only to walk into a clothesline for two. The bulldog driver is broken up by some more kicks to the face but Rollins and Reigns come out to break up the Five Star. This brings out Mark Henry and Big Show to even things up as we take a break.

Back with Dean dropping an elbow for two and putting on a cross face chicken wing of all things. Rob is sent outside and the four seconds have a standoff. Dean goes out to get Rob and winds up getting caught by the spinning kick to the back for two. A spinning legdrop gets the same for Van Dam but he walks into a spinebuster. Dean misses a middle rope elbow but a Shield distraction lets him get two off a rollup. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Reigns spears Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending didn’t work. What was the point of having Big Show and Henry out there if they’re just going to have Reigns come in with no resistance for a DQ? It really is amazing how far Van Dam has fallen in the last year as I wouldn’t expect him to have this kind of a match today if his life depended on it.

Miz, the host of the show, welcomes us to the evening and runs down the big matches. He would be kind of perfect for this role today too. Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off….and that’s it.

The opening video focuses o how awesome Los Angeles is as well as the double main events. The overblown voiceover really works.

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match but you win by pin or submission. It’s also Bray’s in ring debut. Kane hammers away in the corner to start and we get the old school idea of the flames going up whenever anyone hits the mat. Harper and Rowan keep getting closer to the ring but have to back away from the flames. Bray comes back with headbutts but can’t get Kane up for a suplex.

Kane gets sent into the corner for a running splash followed by the cross body to put him down. A bunch of right hands have Kane in more trouble but he comes back with a running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam to send the flames up even more, preventing the Family from sending Bray a kendo stick. Rowan tries a fire extinguisher but the flames don’t go out. Kane hits a pair of chokeslams and calls for a tombstone, only to have Rowan and Harper cover the flames and come to beat Kane down. The yet to be named Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was really stupid. Bray looks like a joke in his first match (though he would have FAR better performances in the future) and the flames are more of an annoyance than the focus of the match. The Family coming in didn’t work and makes the whole thing look ridiculous.

Post match Bray sits in his chair while the Family crushes Kane’s head with the steps. They carry Kane away which never went anywhere.

The expert panel (Booker T., Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero) chat about what we just saw and make some main event predictions.

Earlier tonight Paul Heyman compared Punk vs. Lesnar to David vs. Goliath. He sees the battles ending a bit differently. Tonight’s match is now no DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow screwed over his friend Cody to become Mr. Money in the Bank and Rhodes is ticked off. On the way to the ring, Damien talks about famous teams and says there has always been a leader and a sidekick. Cody has recently shaved off his mustache and Cole tells us we can find out why he has done so on Friday on Youtube. Seriously.

Sandow charges at him to start and hammers away in the corner but Cody comes back with a backdrop to take over. The release gordbuster gets two for Cody but Damien hammers away on him in the corner and cranks on the arms. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and we hit an old school Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) to Cody.

That goes nowhere either as Rhodes fights up and hits a MuscleBuster of all things for two. A springboard missile dropkick sets up the Disaster Kick but Sandow comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Cody nails a second attempt at the Disaster Kick for two but Cody misses a charge into the post. Again it doesn’t seem to matter as Cross Rhodes gets the pin on Sandow at 6:40.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Smackdown and really doesn’t mean anything. The idea was for Cody to eventually take the briefcase from Sandow but they dropped the whole idea and hooked Cody up with Goldust, which wound up being better for everyone involved. It didn’t last long but at least it was an idea. Sandow has fallen through the floor in a year and Cody is a completely different character.

Video on Christian’s career.

World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Another match where both guys have completely changed course in a year. Christian is challenging after winning a triple threat a few weeks back. We’re ready to go after some big match intros and some gawking at Lillian in a gray dress. They lock up and head into the corner to start with the champion grabbing a headlock. Del Rio gets him to chase him around the ring but gets his throat snapped across the top rope.

Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.

The Canadian hammers away in the corner, ducks the running enziguri, and gets two off a top rope cross body. The Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber for two as Alberto is starting to get frustrated. There’s a jumping back elbow to the jaw from Christian but Del Rio counters a sunset flip out of the corner with a right hand.

Instead a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Christian and Del Rio is in trouble. It’s not enough trouble for him to get speared though as Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for a sweet counter. The low superkick gets two more for Alberto. He tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Christian finally hits the spear but injures his bad shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker to retain Del Rio’s title at 12:28.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys going back and forth until the logical and thought out ending. I love it when you have an old injury coming back from earlier in the match to tie into the ending, even though it’s not something you see often enough. It’s also nice to see a high level guy tapping out to a heel submission, which you see even less often.

Del Rio says he’s the Latino representative.

WWE loves the National Guard.

Video on Axxess from earlier today. Maria Menunos had a match and talks to Miz about how awesome that was. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt with some more dancing, triggering a dance from Maria and Miz.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

This is the Total Divas match. You can add Natalya to the list of people who have fallen through the floor in a year. She has the Funkadactyls with her while Brie has Nikki and Eva Marie. I’m not sure who has the better backup here. Feeling out process to start with both girls doing their best choreographed spots. Brie slaps her in the face but has to head to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya is sent to the floor and caught with a baseball slide to the back as a JBL chant starts up. Now it’s a Michael Cole chant, followed by the required Jerry version. Brie drops a leg and cranks on a chinlock as the fans want tables. Natalya fights up and puts on a quick Sharpshooter but Brie sends her into the corner. The other Divas get into it on the floor and we hit another chinlock from Brie. Back up and a sunset flip is countered into a Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 4:19.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. It doesn’t hold up, the fans don’t care, and the whole thing is a waste of time. The girls didn’t even look all that great here as most of their outfits looked like they belonged in the 1950s. The fact that Total Divas didn’t get the Divas Title off of AJ continues to astound me.

Ryback harassed a catering guy earlier in the day.

We recap Lesnar vs. Punk. The idea is simple: both guys are Paul Heyman Guys, but then Punk started listening to the fans and asked Heyman to stop coming out for his matches. Heyman turned on him and cost Punk Money in the Bank, so Punk swore revenge. Brock Lesnar returned and laid out Punk, with Heyman eventually revealing that he asked Brock to come back and destroy Punk, despite swearing he didn’t.

Punk is out for revenge but has to go through Lesnar to get there. The title for the match was perfect: The Best vs. The Beast. I love the story behind this: yeah it’s about revenge, but it won’t be settled in a debate or by lawyers or something stupid like that. Instead, it’s going to be scheduled in a professional wrestling match, like every feud should be.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

No DQ. Punk charges right at him but gets driven into the corner. Forearms to Brock’s head have no effect and he drives shoulders into the ribs. Punk tries some knees to the ribs but Brock literally tosses him across the ring. Brock stomps him down in the corner but Punk comes back with a hard knee to the jaw and a second one to send him out to the floor. A big suicide dive has the Beast down and Heyman is starting to freak out.

Punk gets some steps but Brock just rams them back into his face to take over again. He throws Punk onto his should but gets posted instead, allowing Punk to dive off the apron to drop Brock again. A clothesline off the announcers’ table nails Lesnar but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman, allowing Brock to blindside him. Brock picks him up again and LAUNCHES him over the announcers’ table. Then he throws him over the other table and stomps on the top of the table on top of Punk.

Back in and Punk goes after the legs but Brock just levels him with a clothesline. We hit the bearhug until Punk scores with forearms, only to take a hard knee to the ribs. It’s almost total dominace by Brock so far. Back to the bearhug but Punk elbows out of it again. Some kicks to the chest have Brock in trouble but he counters a high cross body into a fall away slam.

We hit the chinlock but Punk bites his ear to escape. More kicks have Brock in trouble and a top rope knee sends him sprawling across the ring. There’s a pair of running knees in the corner but Brock counters the third one into the F5. Punk escapes again and nails a high kick followed by the Macho Elbow (more like a splash) for a VERY close two. The fans are totally into this.

The GTS is countered into another F5 attempt but Punk escapes and nails another high kick. He tries the GTS again but gets caught in the Kimura. Somehow he counters that into a cross armbreaker but Brock rolls over into a choke. Punk counters THAT into a triangle choke, only to have Brock lift him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t break the hold either and it’s back to the triangle, but Brock lifts him into another powerbomb, this time with a running start. AMAZING sequence there and the fans give it the THIS IS AWESOME chant that it deserves.

Brock busts out Three Amigos of all things for two. Punk is half dead in the ring so Brock heads outside and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Punk dives onto the chair, driving it into Lesnar in a huge crash. Now it’s Punk wearing out Brock with the chair as they head back inside. Brock takes the chair away, only to get hit low before he can destroy Punk. Punk nails the Cactus Jack chair drop from the top for two as Heyman is pacing back and forth.

Punk just starts beating Brock with the chair but Heyman gets on the apron for a distraction. Lesnar lifts him for the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman for the block. He slips off Lesnar’s back and hits the GTS for a white hot near fall with Heyman making the save. After a quick chase, Punk charges into the F5 but counters AGAIN into a DDT for another two.

There’s the Anaconda Vice and Lesnar is in trouble, drawing Heyman in with the chair….but Punk gets up and steps on it. There’s a right hand for Heyman and a Vice of his own, but Punk is wide open for a chair shot from Lesnar. A bunch more chair shots sets up an F5 on the chair to give Brock the pin on Punk’s dead body at 29:07.
Rating: A+. I said this was Match of the Year last year and a second viewing affirms that view. This was AMAZING with some great David vs. Goliath stuff, a white hot counter sequence, and then two guys just beating the tar out of each other for ten minutes to end the match. Heyman making the save made sense, but it makes Punk look like the superhero that everyone thought he was. Totally awesome match here and Lesnar looks like the monster that he’s supposed to.

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

Punk gets the well deserved standing ovation.

A fan gets splashed by Mark Henry for Summerslam tickets. He gets to sit in front of the announcers’ table for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Two feuds combined into one. The guys start with Ziggler nailing a fast dropkick for two on Big E. Langston comes right back with a belly to belly suplex and a spinning Warrior Splash for two of his own before we hit the abdominal stretch. Dolph quickly escapes and scores with another dropkick before it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws her around but gets caught by a big kick to the face.

A back elbow gets two for Lee and she hooks a sleeper. AJ shouts a lot but gets caught with a shoulder block. Back to the guys and there are the ten elbow drops from Dolph. The Fameasser misses and Big E. hooks a tilt-a-while backbreaker for two. AJ takes out Kaitlyn with a Shining Wizard but Big E. hits the post. Kaitlyn spears AJ in half (I miss her selling the heck out of that move) as Big E. gets back up and runs over Dolph. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 5:46.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for this match as it was a glorified TV match that had to go after a thirty minute masterpiece. These four feuded for a long time and it was getting boring by this time. AJ would hold the Divas Title for a ridiculous eight more months and Kaitlyn doesn’t even have a job anymore. Again, it’s amazing how much a year has changed.

Miz gets cut off by Fandango and Summer again, finally causing Miz to knock him out.

The expert panel makes their World Title match picks.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. The idea here is simple: Bryan had been on a roll and Cena was allowed to pick his opponent for Summerslam. He summed it up in four words: “I select Daniel Bryan.” This was the start of Bryan being a B+ player as authority (not The Authority) figures started saying Bryan was just too small to be World Champion. HHH and Vince tried to turn him corporate but Bryan couldn’t bring himself to do it because it wasn’t who he was. The only person that seems to be supporting him is HHH, who is guest referee tonight.

At the same time they actually made it somewhat personal between Cena and Bryan as Daniel called Cena out for being a parody of a wrestler. Cena got very serious and said that he was a wrestler even if he wore bright t-shirts. He chose Bryan because he’s the best competition in the company right now and has earned the spot. Cena also has fluid the size of a baseball in his elbow at the moment and is going to be taking time off after the match.

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH is guest referee. Daniel wisely goes after the bad arm to start but gets taken down with a headlock. Back up and Cena isn’t sure what to make of Bryan and his technical abilities. John easily wins a test of strength but Bryan bridges off the mat. Cena jumps down on him but can’t break the bridge in a nice display of strength by the bearded one. A YES Lock attempt sends Cena out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena uses the bad arm for a headlock before they hit the mat for the old Flair bridge up into a backslide from Bryan for two. It’s Bryan in control now but Cena blocks the surfboard with pure power. Daniel is sent to the apron and knocked into the announcers’ table with a hard shoulder. Cena is wrestling as the heel here by default as the power guy.

Bryan pops up and whips Cena into the steps but Cena sends him in as well. Fans to Cena: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Back in and Cena hammers away to get the upper hand but lets Bryan get up. A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. Bryan is quickly back up with right hands as Jerry reminds us that HHH is guest referee. He hasn’t meant anything yet.

Bryan backflips over Cena out of the corner and nails the running clothesline. Here come the YES Kicks but the big one misses, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The Shuffle gets two and Bryan nails the big kick to the head for the same. Bryan finally starts going after the arm by snapping it over his own shoulder and firing off kicks to the elbow. Cena tries a quick STF but Bryan mule kicks his way out. Now it’s Bryan putting Cena in the STF but he can’t crank on it as well.

Cena powers up but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Cena powers out of the third suplex and tries the AA, only to be reversed into the YES Lock. Bryan can’t quite get it on and Cena gets his head out of the grip to escape. That’s fine with Daniel who slaps on the guillotine choke. Again I had to hear Cole say HHH’s name to remember that he was the referee. Cena powers up again and drives Bryan into the buckle a few times before finally grabbing a rope for the break.

An AA connects out of nowhere for two and Cena is getting frustrated. He goes up top but Bryan breaks up the top rope Fameasser. A running dropkick has Cena reeling and Bryan superplexes him down, only to hook his feet on the ropes to stay up top. That’s kind of brilliant actually. The Swan Dive connects for two and Cena rolls outside. The FLYING GOAT is countered by a forearm to the face and the top rope Fameasser gets John another two count.

Cena goes up again but gets caught, only to try to slam Daniel down. Instead we get a TERRIFYING semi-botch as Cena almost piledrives him off the top. Thankfully Bryan’s neck is in one piece (for now) as Cena puts him in the STF. He pulls back too far though and Bryan slips out to apply the YES Lock. Cena is right next to the ropes for the break though and both guys are exhausted.

It’s Bryan up first with the running dropkicks but he tries one too many, allowing Cena to take his head off with a running clothesline. They slug it out again until both guys try flying shoulders and knock each other out again. Back up and they slap it out as the fans are even more into it now. Cena catches him charging and plants Bryan with a spinebuster. Allegedly Bryan countered with a DDT but it didn’t come off that well on camera.

It’s Daniel to his feet first and going up top, only to have Cena counter his high cross body into an AA. Daniel counters that into the small package for two, followed by a BIG kick to the head. He doesn’t cover, but instead debuts the running knee to the chest for the 100% clean pin over Cena (I believe the first since Rock at Wrestlemania) for the pin and the title at 31:07.

Rating: A+. Yep this worked too. This is a totally different style of main event match and it more than holds up a year later. There was a solid story in there of Bryan being as technical as he could be and Cena just muscling his way through it, only to have Bryan knee his head off for the pin. Excellent match, but somehow it’s the second best of the night and of the year.

Post match Cena is upset but hands Bryan the title and raises his hand with no violence.

Bryan celebrates for about three minutes….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Bryan is ready for him, but not ready for HHH to spin him around for a Pedigree.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is champion in 8 seconds.

The new heel forces pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This won Show of the Year and it’s easy to see why. The two main events are more than enough to make this awesome but you also have good stuff like Del Rio vs. Christian. Nothing was truly horrible here (the Divas match was just over four minutes so how much can it really hurt?) and two instant classics make this more than great and one of the best shows WWE ever put on.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original:
Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+
Redo: D

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C
Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+
Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F
Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Overall Rating:

Original: A-
Redo: A

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6