Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

We’re back where it all started so it can all begin again. I’m not sure what that means either but it’s the tag line of the show. The main event tonight is a triple threat match because what would a WWE show be without one of those? It’s HHH defending the title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, the latter of whom is here for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The other big match is Eddie Guerrero defending his newly won world title against Kurt Angle. There are some young guys getting their first Manai match tonight as well. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

We get a shot of Vince standing in the dark before going into a video on the last twenty years of Wrestlemania which is a pretty cool sight. This transitions into a very serious video about everyone talking about how huge this match is for them. We hear that it all begins again tonight, transitioning to a shot of Vince’s newborn granddaughter. Cool idea.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging here and this is the culmination of a feud that lasted a few months. Show held the title for five months and defended it like three times. Cena does a rap before the match and is just INSANELY over. In New York. My how times have changed. Cena says Show can’t see him so Big shoves him into the corner. Show throws him to the floor but Cena guillotines him as they come back in. A cross body (why would you try that on Big Show?) is countered into a slam for two and the match slows down a lot.

The fans cheer for Cena as Show chops him in the corner. Cena comes back with some right hands but Show clotheslines him down with ease. Show stands on the bottom rope to crush it into Cena’s throat before a vertical suplex gets two. The champion stands on Cena’s back for good measure and drops a leg for two. Show tries a powerslam but gets caught in a sleeper, but the powers of fat break it up pretty easily.

There’s the cobra clutch by the champion for good measure but the fans applaud Cena to freedom. The hold goes right back on though and Cena is in more trouble. John slugs his way out again and gets a boot up to stop a charging Big Show. The FU hits but Show is out just a second after the two count. Since that didn’t work, Cena wraps a chain around his hand but when the referee takes them away, Cena gets brass knuckles to stun Big Show before a second FU gives him his first of many titles.

Rating: C. Slow match but this was a good choice for an opener. The fans were WAY into Cena as he was rapidly becoming the hottest thing in the company (until the rise of Batista of course). The FU was a great visual to open things up as fans are always going to react to freakish displays of strength like that. Good opener here and the fans are hotter than they already were, which is the right idea.

Coach is in the back talking to various people before going in to see Eric Bischoff. Eric sends him to find Undertaker.

Evolution (minus HHH of course) talks about taking out Mick Foley tonight and we get a clip of Orton kicking Foley down a flight of stairs 10 months ago to start the feud. They just happen to be in front of the same stairs, which is a great touch. Instead of having them show us the stairs in a photo, it adds atmosphere which is missing in most promos today. We see Foley walking away from Orton over the months and Evolution destroying Foley over the same months. Tonight it’s Rock teaming with Foley against Evolution in a handicap match which should be AWESOME. Really good package here on the match too.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam

Booker and RVD are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Booker has an AWFUL remix of his song here so hopefully they drop the belts so we don’t have to hear it again. Van Dam and Dupree get us going with Rob monkey flipping him down. Booker comes in with a side kick for two and a hip toss for an interfering Conway. Rene is knocked into the Dudley corner for a tag off to Bubba with the Dudley getting two off a neckbreaker. Booker comes back with a side kick but D-Von tags himself in before the cover. RVD jumps in with a kick to the face of D-Von but there was no tag so it’s Jindrak vs. Booker instead.

Cade and Jindrak take over on Booker in the corner but Rene steals a tag to take over. This match needs to end already. We’re four minutes in and I’m already bored. Conway hooks a bow and arrow hold which goes on WAY longer than needed. Booker fights out with a spinebuster for no cover but it’s not hot tag to RVD. Everything breaks down but D-Von breaks up the Five Star. It’s Booker vs. D-Von but Cade breaks up 3D. The scissors kick and Five Star are enough to pin Conway and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Sacre bleu what a waste of my time. No one card about this match because the tag division was so dead at this point that almost every team was just thrown together. Since this is Wrestlemania though, there’s ANOTHER four way tag match later tonight. Nothing to see here and the match sucked on all levels. Let’s get on to ANYTHING else.

Coach is in the back again and hears noises coming from a closet. He opens the door to find a disheveled Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan with an unbuttoned shirt. Coach thinks there’s something going on between the two of them but Heenan says there was a poker game going on. Moolah and Mae Young come out of the same closet and drag the guys back in. Heenan screams for help and Coach shakes his head. When I said ANYTHING else, I didn’t mean THAT.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which is a pretty awesome story. Month ago Christian and Jericho made a bet for $1 Canadian that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Jericho wound up falling for Trish but she found out about the bet. He’s spent months begging for her forgiveness but Christian got tired of hearing Jericho whining like this.

Trish agreed to just be friends but Christian started hitting on her. Bischoff made Christian vs. Trish with Christian agreeing to lay down for her. Christian decided to show some tough love by putting her in the Walls of Jericho, setting up Christian vs. Jericho tonight with Jericho fighting for the honor of his love. This is one of my favorite feuds.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start with Jericho getting very aggressive and taking Christian down by the hair. A belly to back suplex gets two for Jericho and he backdrops Christian over the top and out to the floor. Chris hits a big spring plancha but can’t hook the Walls back inside. Christian sends Jericho over the top and out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and Christian chokes away before slapping his own chest a bit. A knee to Jericho’s ribs gets two and it’s off to a neck crank.

Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out for good measure before covering. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Chris’ back but it’s quickly broken up into another failed Walls attempt. A forearm puts Christian down and there’s a running crotch attack to Christian in 619 position. The running enziguri gets two for Jericho before they trade rollups for two each. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris but the bulldog sets up the Lionsault which hits knees.

Jericho charges into an elbow into the corner and gets taken down by a reverse tornado DDT for two. The reverse DDT into a backbreaker puts Jericho down again but Christian goes up and gets crotched. He blocks a superplex though and hits a top rope cross body, only for Jericho to roll through for two. This is solid stuff so far. Christian kicks Jericho in his injured knee and puts on the old school Texas Cloverleaf. In an impressive counter, Jericho gets underneath Christian and rolls through into the Walls but AGAIN Christian makes the ropes.

Jericho takes it to the floor and puts on the Walls out there before having to break the count. Back in and a butterfly superplex gets a VERY close two on Christian as Trish comes bouncing down the aisle. An inverted DDT puts Chris down for two and Christian spots Trish. He drags her into the ring but Jericho makes the save. Not being able to see though, Trish blasts Jericho in the face, allowing Christian to hook a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. As I said I’m a bit fan of this match and the angle that went along with it. This was Christian’s best singles match to date and he looked perfectly capable of hanging with a more talented guy like Jericho. Trish of course would play a much bigger role just after the match, so let’s get to the interesting part.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho before slapping him, turning into EVIL Trish. Christian lays out Jericho and leaves with the girl. Evil Trish was SMOKING hot and we would get to see a lot more of her as this feud continued for months.

Mick Foley talks about the emotion of being back in New York but Rock interrupts him. He says that FINALLY they’re back here and Mick Foley is home. Rock hijacks the camera and finds Rosey and Hurricane eating hamburgers and Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco just hanging out. Rock sends the cameraman into the arena to get a shot of the people but has him come back because it’s Rock N Sock’s night.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

It’s Flair/Orton/Batista here and Orton is Intercontinental Champion. The brawl is on to start with Rock fighting the young guys and Flair getting punched by Foley. Evolution is knocked out to the floor until we start with Rock vs. Flair. Rock immediately elbows him down and does the Flair strut to send Naitch to the floor. A backdrop puts Flair down and they fight to the floor, only to have Ric get caught in another backdrop. Foley drops an elbow off the apron and Evolution is in trouble to start.

Foley wants to come in to face Orton but Randy immediately bails to the floor to great heat. We finally get inside for the fight that people want to see as Foley pounds away and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. Off to Rock who punches Orton in the “stomach” before clotheslining him down for no cover. Ric gets clipped in the back of the head by Flair which draws him into the corner, sending the fight to the floor. Batista drops Rock face first onto the barricade to take over.

Back in and Batista pounds on Rock, dropping him down with an elbow for two. Flair comes in again to chop at Rock before going up with even Lawler making fun of Flair for it never working. Big Dave comes in again to pound on Rock but the Brahma Bull gets over to the corner to bring in Foley. Mick pounds away on Batista and punches him down in the corner, only to be taken down by Batista’s big running clothesline. Foley goes after Orton on the floor but Flair jumps him to stop the comeback.

As is his custom, Flair is sent knees first into the steps, causing some cringing pain. Back in and Orton drops knees on Foley’s head before it’s back to Flair for a hard chop. That’s all for Ric right now and it’s back to Orton for a reverse chinlock. Batista takes Orton’s place and pounds away with rights and lefts, only to be caught in a quick Mandible Claw. Batista escapes but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. That’s STILL not enough for the hot tag to Rock though, and the crowd continues to want it more and more. A quick right hand to Flair is enough for the tag to Rock though, and the reaction isn’t all that great.

Rock cleans house with everything he can but walks into a spinebuster by Batista. Instead of a cover though, we get the People’s Elbow from Naitch, complete with strut! The elbow doesn’t have a chance to be launched though as Rock nips up and pounds away on Flair with right hands. The spinebuster sets up the real Elbow with Rock strutting for two. Another tag brings in Orton who walks right into a Rock Bottom for two. The big clothesline puts Rock down and there’s the Batista Bomb for good measure.

That gets two for Randy but Rock drops him again, allowing for the tag to Foley and there’s the pop we were waiting for. Evolution is knocked down and there’s the double arm DDT to Orton. Mr. Socko returns but Orton SNAPS off an RKO for the pin out of nowhere. The look of shock on Orton’s face and Foley getting up and three and a half and looking around as if to say “what happened” are great touches.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with all five guys feeling it at Wrestlemania. The ending is perfect and makes Orton look all the better as he got the fall on a fresh Foley with the RKO out of nowhere. This led to a great match at Backlash which cemented Orton as a player. This was also Rock’s last match for seven and a half years. Great match though and well worth checking out for a lesson in how to give a perfect rub.

Foley gets a standing ovation and Rock is just kind of there. Again, they don’t steal the spotlight, making it clear that Evolution is the important group here. Very well done.

We get some clips from the Hall of Fame induction ceremony last night which is the first class inducted in eight years. Heenan wishing Monsoon was there still makes me smile.

Here’s Gene Okerlund to introduce the Hall of Fame class. The class includes Bobby Heenan (good ovation), Tito Santana (should get a bigger ovation), Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the pop starts before Gene can even speak), Pete Rose (booed, although I’ve heard he was as humble as you could ask anyone to be), Don Muraco (polite applause), Greg Valentine (bigger ovation than I expected), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (biggest pop so far), Sgt. Slaughter (decent pop) and Jesse Ventura (solid pop). Next year’s class had Hogan in it to give the thing some credibility.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is an evening gown match and the annual Playboy promotional match. Sable and Torrie posed together and had a teased lesbian angle around this time. Sable wants to just wrestle with nothing on but Jackie (Gayda, as in the attractive one) says no. Everyone else winds up in lingerie and Jackie is soon stripped too. This is exactly what you would expect: horny announcers, sexual spots, very little wrestling and very little complaining from most fans. Stacy kicks Torrie’s head off for two and it’s back to Jackie. We get the rolling over the referee spot and Torrie rolls up Jackie for the pin. This was what it was.

We hear from some fans who are excited to be here.

Eddie comes in to see Benoit but Benoit doesn’t want to hear about how big of a night this is. Guerrero of course talks about all the pressure on Benoit but Benoit says he believes in himself and that he’s never been more ready. Eddie says Benoit needs to have fire in his eyes and it finally comes out, so Eddie is very happy.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Shannon Moore, Akio, Tajiri, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman, Nunzio

This is different from what the Cruiserweight Open would wind up being when it was a free for all. This is basically a gauntlet match with everyone at ringside and two guys starting. It’s elimination rules and last man standing is champion. Chavo comes in defending and gets to come in tenth for no apparent reason. We start with Moore vs. Dragon who fight over a hammerlock. Moore tries to speed things up but gets caught in a standing Sliced Bread for a fast pin. I now remember why I hate gauntlet matches.

Jamie Noble is in next and after avoiding a moonsault, he hooks a neckbreaker and a guillotine choke to put Dragon out. Funaki comes in and gets small packaged for the pin less in about three seconds. Nunzio is in and takes Noble to the mat in a hurry before being sent out to the floor. Noble hits a sweet flip dive off the top to the floor and rams Nunzio into the apron for a countout. Billy Kidman is in next but Nunzio trips him up. Noble heads to the floor as Kidman slides back inside for a Shooting Star off the top to take both guys out.

Back in and Kidman breaks up the guillotine choke and enziguris Noble down. The Shooting Star is broken up but Kidman hits a BK Bomb (D’Lo Brown’s Sky High) for the elimination. Mysterio (as the Flash this year) comes in with a springboard seated senton but gets dropkicked down for two for Kidman. Billy loads up something off the top but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin. Mysterio vs. Tajiri now as Rey is caught in the Tarantula. Mysterio will have none of this selling stuff and there’s the 619 but Tajiri kicks him down.

Akio gets on the apron but gets caught in the Green Mist, which means he’s out for no apparent reason (my guess is they’re out of time) so here’s Chavo vs. Mysterio which is what this whole match should have been in the first place. Tajiri gets in a cheap shot on Mysterio and it’s Guerrero in control early. Rey comes back with a headscissors and a baseball slide to Chavo Senior. There’s a big dive onto an old man to pop the crowd (New York is mean!) but as Mysterio comes back in with a sunset flip, Chavo Jr. drops down and has Senior’s help for the pin on Mysterio to retain.

Rating: D. What am I supposed to get into off of this match? The longest fall was maybe two minutes in length and none of them were anything of note. The match should have just been Rey vs. Chavo, but because of the annoying Wrestlemania payday, we need to jam in eight other guys to ruin the match. Also this brings up the universal problem with these matches: if it’s possible to get all these two minute pins, why do matches usually last five times or so as long?

We recap Brock vs. Goldberg which started at the Rumble. Goldberg wasn’t impressed by Lesnar so Brock interfered in the Rumble and tossed Goldberg out. Austin left Goldberg a ticket for No Way Out where Lesnar defended the title against Eddie Guerrero. As you can guess, Goldberg cost him the title and tonight it’s about revenge. Brock blamed Austin for the loss and stole his ATV which Austin got back. Austin is also guest referee tonight to keep the match from falling apart.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

The catch here is that both guys are leaving and the fans know it, so they boo them both out of the building. Goldie gets his full entrance from the back. The fans IMMEDIATELY start chanting YOU SOLD OUT at Lesnar who is going to the NFL after this match. They circle each other and Austin says get to it. Now the fans sing the GOODBYE song with the guys still making zero contact over a minute in. The fans chant for the referee as Goldberg looks at Austin. Still no contact. After nearly THREE MINUTES of circling each other they lock up.

Amusingly enough, Goldberg is said to have an advantage because he’s a mixed martial arts aficionado. They lock up and shove each other away as it’s almost four minutes in without even a punch being thrown. We get a second lockup with the same result. The crowd is booing loudly now. Literally five minutes in Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first actual move of the match. They trade shoulder blocks with no one going anywhere. They collide again with both guys going down and we’re somehow six minutes into this match.

Now they stare at each other as the fans are about to riot. The fans cheer for HOGAN of all people and that’s FINALLY enough to get something going. Goldberg presses him over his head and drops him into a kind of spinebuster for two. The spear misses though and Goldberg hits the buckle chest first. The fans think Goldberg sucks as he is sent into the post. Back in and Brock gets two off a suplex and then hooks a modified headlock. The fans chant for Hogan again.

Back to the same headlock after a brief break before they collide again. Brock gets two as Austin is still a complete non factor. He seems to be the rodeo clown out there to keep everything from falling apart. Well, falling completely apart because we’re long past falling apart. JR is polite and calls this match pedestrian. Goldberg comes back with some clotheslines and a swinging neckbreaker of all things as the Hogan chant starts again. There’s the spear for two but Goldie spends too much time arguing with Austin and walks into an F5 for two. Brock tries a spear but misses, so a spear and Jackhammer can finish Brock.

Rating: E. As in embarrassing, which is what this was. Have some pride out there people. I know you’re leaving and the fans don’t care, but man alive have some effort out there. If I was an NFL team and Brock gave that kind of a performance I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. No he doesn’t want to be there but that’s his job until his contract expires. This was embarrassing to watch and they deserve the booing they received. Austin added nothing here but he didn’t really need to.

Post match Brock flips off Austin and gets Stunned for his efforts. Goldberg has a beer and gets Stunned for good measure.

Wrestlemania 21 is in Los Angeles.

Vince actually comes out and thanks the fans for getting us here and hopes they’ll be there in the future. Cool moment there.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Too Cool vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

That would be Scotty and Rikishi who are defending coming in. One fall to a finish again. Bradshaw and Shelton start things off with the Texan taking him down with a shoulder and getting two off an elbow drop. Doug Basham comes in to beat up Shelton now and it’s off to Danny. Shelton tags in Haas for a slam onto Haas’ knee in a cool spot. Scotty comes in to fight Charlie as this is going nowhere.

In another creative spot, Scotty skins the cat but lands in the Shelton jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Scotty for two. Charlie tags off to Doug for a kick to Scotty’s face. The hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house and knocks Shelton to the floor to break up the German suplex. Charlie gets a Stinkface and Bradshaw launches Doug to the floor with a fallaway slam. There’s the Clothesline to Danny but Bradshaw walks into a Samoan Drop. Rikishi sits on Danny to end it and retain.

Rating: D. Whatever man. Seriously, I wouldn’t have remembered this match if you put a gun to my head, just like with the other tag title match. They’re just not interesting at all and there was nothing here to remember at all. There needed to be just one set of tag belts at this point and these matches make it painfully obvious.

Rikishi and Scotty dance for old times’ sake.

Edge is returning soon.

Jesse Ventura interviews Donald Trump, who is at like his fifth Wrestlemania. Ventura implies they’ll run for the White House together.

Molly Holly (looking GREAT here with the shoulder length dark hair) is excited about her hair vs. title match against Victoria. This can’t end well.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and Molly has her hair on the line. The champion has the awesome All The Things She Said as her theme song as is looking sweet in white here. They lock up to start and Molly pounds her down before whipping Victoria into the corner. Victoria nips up off the mat and sends Molly to the floor but loses control soon thereafter. Back in again as the match is already going slowly.

A low dropkick gets two on Victoria and it’s off to a reverse cravate by Molly. A quick rollup gets two for Victoria as JR says he doesn’t wear underwear. Victoria powerslams her down for two but Molly heads up a few seconds later. An attempted superplex is countered into a slow motion sunset bomb for two for Molly. A backslide out of nowhere retains the title for Victoria, meaning it’s time to see a bald Holly.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than both girls looking incredibly cute. As is usually the case, there’s no explanation given for why this match is happening, nore does anyone seem interested in telling us. Molly would get a wig soon after this which admittedly was pretty amusing. Nothing to the match which didn’t even last five minutes.

Molly tries to put Victoria into the barber’s chair post match but can’t get the clippers to work. The champion fights back and lays Molly out for the haircut.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. Eddie, as a former drug addict, has no business being champion according to Kurt. Guerrero is also in WAY over his head because of how good Angle is. Heyman, the Smackdown GM, hates Eddie for no apparent reason on top of that.

Post video, Molly is VERY bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking Angle to the mat in a surprising development. Angle sits out and the fans applaud what they see. Angle takes over with a headlock but Eddie reverses into one of his own. A shoulder block puts Eddie down and he isn’t sure what to do from here. Now the champion grabs a headlock followed by three straight shoulders to knock Angle down. Kurt bails to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Eddie takes him down with an armdrag but Angle takes control again with a sweet amateur move into a front facelock. Eddie comes out of it with a series of armdrags into an armbar as the fans applaud again. Guerrero switches over to a keylock but Angle shoves him off and drives a knee into the ribs to take over. Like any good ring general, he follows up on an injured body part with an abdominal stretch.

Eddie rolls out and tries Three Amigos but gets countered into a German instead. Eddie gets thrown to the apron but Angle slides through the ropes and tries the German off the apron but Guerrero escapes because it would, you know, kill him. Back inside and Eddie dropkicks Angle back to the floor as things slow down a bit. Guerrero tries to dive off the top to take Angle out but lands ribs first on the barricade. That’s adding to the story they started with the ribs, making it awesome.

Back inside and a backbreaker gets two for Angle and it’s off to a body vice on the champion. Eddie fights up but gets dropped ribs first on the top rope for two. Angle unleashes the suplexes again with an overhead release belly to belly for no cover. There’s another one for two and it’s back to the body grip. Another belly to belly gets another near fall as Angle is getting frustrated. Angle puts him on the top but gets shoved off as a result. A fast Frog Splash attempt misses though and Eddie’s ribs are in big trouble.

Angle punches Eddie to send Cole into a frenzy because Michael Cole is an authority on ethics all of a sudden. Eddie gets up and says HIT ME AGAIN so Angle does just that. Guerrero grabs a fast suplex for two but Angle escapes a second before rolling the Germans. Eddie counters the second one into a rollup for two but Angle takes Eddie’s head off with a clothesline to stop him again.

The champion escapes the Angle Slam with an armdrag and starts doing his Latino dance. He STILL can’t hit the Three Amigos though as Angle counters into the ankle lock. Eddie kicks him away and dropkicks Kurt down before heading up. Angle pops up again and runs the ropes for the belly to belly, putting both guys down again. Kurt takes the straps down and puts on the ankle lock but Eddie rolls out into a cradle for two.

Another German suplex puts Guerrero down again but the champion counters the Angle Slam into a DDT. Now the Frog Splash hits for a VERY close two. When I watched this the first time I thought that was it. Eddie isn’t sure what to do and gets caught in the ankle lock as a result. He almost taps but manages to swing Angle out to the floor. Eddie unlaces his boot with Kurt down on the floor to relieve some pressure. Guerrero crawls away as Kurt gets back in and lets him pick the ankle. Eddie kicks Angle away, losing his boot in the process. Angle is confused and Eddie small packages him to retain in a brilliant move.

Rating: A. Great match here with the psychology flowing freely. Eddie was BRILLIANT out there as he had finally took it away from the wrestling game and got Angle out of his comfort zone. The dueling rolling suplexes were a great touch too as neither guy could hit them but it was a battle to try. Great match and well worth checking out.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Other than their huge history dating back over six years, Kane had helped literally bury Undertaker at Survivor Series in a buried alive match. At Wrestlemania, the gong went off to scare Undertaker and he’s back tonight as the Dead Man for the first time in four and a half years.

Kane vs. Undertaker

The visual on Kane’s entrance is really cool as the set is designed to look like New York City and it has fire all over it as Kane comes out. Sweet. The lights go out and we get Paul Bear’s Ooooooooooooooooooooooh YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. Since this is Wrestlemania, we get druids, smoke, and torches. Now we get thunder and lightning and a gong, which gives us the Undertaker. He has shorter hair now which would be his look for the next eight years or so. The entrance, as always, is excellent.

Kane shouts that Undertaker isn’t real and reaches out to touch him, earning the right hands from Undertaker. Undertaker calls for the chokeslam but Kane runs out to the floor. Taker is fine with that and the brawl heads to the floor with the Dead Man in full control. There’s the apron legdrop and we head back inside for a running clothesline in the corner. All Undertaker so far as JR actually tries to push this as a brand vs. brand match. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets backdropped into the ropes in an awkward looking spot.

Kane chokes away on the mat and talks trash about telling Undertaker to not come back. Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts, only to walk into the side slam. The top rope clothesline crushes Undertaker for a close two. Kane misses a charge in the corner and there’s a big boot to put Kane down. Taker follows it up with a legdrop (BROTHER) and Old School for good measure. Scratch that actually as Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. Kane laughs maniacally but Taker sits up to a BIG ovation. The Taker chokeslam and tombstone make Taker I believe 12-0.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match sucked but this was all about the moment and making it clear that Undertaker was back. That worked like a charm here and the match worked quite well for what it was supposed to be. This would of course lead to Paul Bearer being locked in a tomb made of concrete. You don’t see the connection?

We recap the main event. HHH is world champion because he’s HHH, Benoit won the Rumble and switched brands, and Shawn is here because he’s a whiny little man that can’t accept that he didn’t win at the Rumble. Therefore he superkicked Benoit and signed Benoit’s contract, which apparently you can just do and have it be legally binding. The solution was to make a triple threat match because that’s what WWE does.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH (and his big white boots) bail to the floor as the other two chop it out. They head to the mat with Benoit bridging up into a backslide attempt but Shawn blocks. The Crossface doesn’t work but Benoit gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Game comes back in to take over and he slugs both guys down. Shawn is thrown over the top rope for some skinning of the cat but comes back in to pound away at the champion in the corner.

The high knee takes Shawn down for two and a less high knee puts Benoit on the floor. Benoit has his back rammed into the barricade but Shawn baseball slides both of them onto the concrete. That is followed up by a big moonsault to the floor to take out all three guys and wow the crowd a bit. Shawn and HHH go back inside but Benoit has to come in with a clothesline to break up a Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post at the hands of the Canadian but HHH ties Benoit up in the Tree of Woe.

Michaels whips HHH into Benoit and rolls up the champion for two before nipping up, only to be clotheslined out to the floor by Benoit. Chris rolls some Germans on the champion but Shawn comes back to break up the Swan Dive. HHH DDTs Shawn down and superplexes Benoit for a pair of two’s. Benoit gets a weak Crossface on HHH but Michaels makes the save. Now Shawn tries to roll Germans on Benoit but you can’t do that to a Canadian (without being Kurt Angle of course), and Benoit reverses into Germans of his own on Shawn.

The Swan Dive hits Shawn for two as HHH makes another save. HHH low bridges Benoit to the floor and it’s time for DX to fight again. Shawn drops the top rope elbow on HHH and there’s Sweet Chin Music for good measure but it only gets two. Benoit makes the save and it’s time to chop a Canadian. Michaels has to fight off the Sharpshooter but can’t avoid a catapult into the post. There’s the Crossface on Shawn but HHH grabs Shawn’s hand to prevent tapping. That catapult into the post busted Shawn open too.

Out to the floor they go with HHH whipping Benoit into the steps to put him down. HHH loads up the announce table but Benoit fights him onto said table. Benoit fights out of a Pedigree attempt but here’s Shawn on the table as well. A double suplex/slam sends Benoit flying through a table and it’s down to one on one for all intents and purposes. HHH pounds away on Shawn in the corner but gets backdropped out to the floor, taking out the referee in the process. Shawn sends him into the post to bust the champion open too.

Back in and HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere but he’s too exhausted to cover. Eventually he does but Benoit pops in to break it up at the last second. Shawn falls out to the floor as Benoit chops the champion. The Pedigree is countered into the Sharpshooter but Shawn comes back in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up, but only for two. Michaels tunes up the band again but misses the superkick and gets backdropped to the floor. Benoit hooks the Crossface on HHH and holds onto it even as Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring until HHH taps out, giving Benoit the world title.

Rating: A+. I can’t stand triple threat matches but this is a masterpiece. They were so crisp with everything and while Shawn didn’t need to be there at all, it was still an excellent match. Benoit winning was the absolutely right decision (and would have been the year before as well) but it was the feel good moment they needed.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with his friend as confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show really does hold up quite well. It’s not a masterpiece or anything but the two world title matches are must see. Unfortunately that’s about all that’s must see as this over four hour long show (yes, OVER FOUR HOURS) is in need of some trimming (the tag titles would be a great place to start) but it’s still a solid show. The ending scene is hard to watch as the two crumbled under the pressure and ultimately would be gone less than four years later. Still though, the first moment was excellent.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

Redo: E

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D

Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

That’s as close to identical as you’re going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED. Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000^th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8^th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans aren’t exactly happy.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 14, 2005
Location: SBC Arena, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with No Mercy and now it’s time to get ready for Survivor Series. Granted before we get there, we have the whole lull with no brand exclusive pay per view for the next month, which could lead in a variety of places. I’m not sure what we’re going to be seeing on the way there but it could be interesting. Maybe. Let’s get to it.

Here’s No Mercy if you need a recap

Opening sequence.

Here are the Ortons to get things going. Randy is VERY proud of himself for destroying the Undertaker forever and no matter how much the fans want to see him, Undertaker is DEAD. With Undertaker out of the way, it’s time for Randy to become World Heavyweight Champion again, but here’s Eddie Guerrero to interrupt.

Eddie gets a very warm reception (remember we’re in Texas) but Randy says to give him advice on how to beat Batista so he can ignore it. Randy laughs at him for earning a friend instead of a championship and offers an RKO. Eddie wants a fight but Randy says he’s facing Batista next. Cue Batista to say the two of them can fight tonight so Teddy can make the match.

Post match, Teddy has made the match. I guess Batista has some pull.

United States Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is challenging but if he loses to the Crossface again, his career is over. Benoit goes straight for the Crossface to start so Jordan bails to the floor. That earns Benoit a whip into the steps and Jordan is in control for a change. A knee to the ribs sets up an abdominal stretch so Benoit gets over to the apron in a hurry. The German suplexes rock Jordan and the Sharpshooter makes him tap, meaning Jordan keeps his career.

Rating: D+. That has to be it right? What is this, five times now? They did keep it short here and that’s what matters most, because we don’t need to see this again anytime soon. Benoit has wasted so much time on Jordan now and his title reign suffered as a result. Get him on to a serious match and get Jordan on the unemployment line.

Sharmell comes in to yell at Teddy Long about Jordan getting a title shot (fair) but Teddy doesn’t want to hear it. Instead, Booker T. can be in a four way #1 contenders match.

Paul Burchill/William Regal/MNM vs. Animal/Heidenreich/Mexicools

Juvy is the odd Mexicool out while Melina and Christy Hemme are here as well for this rather odd pairing. Psychosis and Mercury start things off so the women get on the apron for stereo distractions. With that out of the way, Regal comes in to hammer away on Psychosis and the villains take turns stomping away in the corner. Burchill drives him into the corner as well and hammers away at the jaw. Mercury misses a middle rope elbow though and it’s Animal coming in to clean house. The Doomsday Device is broken up so Super Crazy has to moonsault Mercury for the pin instead.

Rating: D+. This mainly served as a way to showcase the women and that isn’t exactly the most difficult thing to do. There wasn’t enough time for this to go anywhere and the match was just kind of there as a result. At least they kept it short and have something resembling a tag division growing for a change.

Post match two rather muscular guys come in and beat down Psychosis, including a Veg O Matic.

It’s time for the Peep Show with Stacy Keibler getting to talk about a possible feud with Jennifer Aniston over Anistaon’s new boyfriend. Stacy says she isn’t dating him…and here’s Jillian Hall to interrupt. She thinks there could be a lot of career advancement in a feud like this and thinks Aniston is hot. Stacy asks about the growth on her face and slaps Jillian down.

Christian vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T. vs. Rey Mysterio

One fall to a finish, the winner gets a US Title shot and Sharmell is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start with Booker backdropping JBL and hammering away in the corner as the other two are outside. The two pairs switch places so Rey can knock Christian down, only to get tossed by JBL. The fall away slam sends Christian flying but Booker is right off the top with the missile dropkick. Christian sends Booker over the top and onto JBL though, leaving Rey to get beaten up for two.

Rey’s victory roll gets two and we take a quick break. Back with all four down for a breather until JBL gets up and starts cleaning house. Booker gets kicked outside, leaving JBL to drop elbows on Christian for two. The Clothesline From JBL is broken up though and JBL is sent outside for a ram into the steps. Rey gets back in to speed things up with some rollups but JBL kicks him down. JBL is sent outside again though and Sharmell grabs Rey’s leg so Booker can hit the ax kick for the pin. It still is not clear if Booker saw the interference.

Rating: C. Another match that you’ve seen several times and that is hardly something worth getting excited about. That’s true of Sharmell too, as her already annoying act is getting even worse. Booker vs. Benoit could be good and in theory this should lead towards Booker’s heel turn, which would make Sharmell a bit more bearable.

Post break Booker and Sharmell celebrate when Benoit comes in. He’s happy with the match but hopes Sharmell doesn’t get involved again. Booker gets in his face and glaring ensues.

Mr. Kennedy comes out for a match but doesn’t have an opponent so he introduces himself and leaves.

Raw Rebound.

Bobby Lashley vs. Nunzio

Lashley glares Vito off the apron and suplexes Nunzio without much effort. Nunzio gets gorilla pressed to the floor (with no catch) and this time Vito’s interference earns him a shot to the face. Back in and Nunzio’s shot to the head just earns himself a backbreaker, followed by the Dominator for the fast pin.

Palmer Cannon tells Teddy that the Boogeyman is here, so he shakes the clock. Said clock is then busted over his head, causing Teddy to say Boogeyman has some potential.

Randy Orton vs. Eddie Guerrero

For the next shot at Batista. They stare at each other to start until Orton goes to the eye and grabs a belly to back suplex for two. The headlock has Eddie in trouble on the mat and his attempt at fighting back earns himself a dropkick. Back from a break with Orton hitting the backbreaker for two and grabbing the chinlock again.

Eddie fights up again but gets drop toeholded throat first into the middle rope. They head outside a second time with Eddie ramming him into the announcers’ table a few times, only to get sent into the post for two. Randy switches up the chinlocks by grabbing a sleeper to put Eddie down….for another chinlock. This time Eddie dances his way up and hits Three Amigos, only to have Cowboy Bob break up the frog splash for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was a rough one as Orton kept going to the chinlock and slowing things down. That’s all well and good, but you might want to do something else before you get there. Not a very good match, but it’s cool to see face Eddie for a change here, as he was a villain for so long. He’s so charismatic though and it’s hard to not like him at least a little bit.

Post match the double team is on but Batista runs out for the save. Long comes out and makes Batista/Eddie vs. the Ortons for next week.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one very much, but what made it work was they were building things towards next week, if not beyond. It’s nice to see Eddie getting a fresh change of pace here too and that’s one of the better things you can say about a show. Some of the midcard might even be coming together a bit so maybe things can pick up. It certainly would be a step in the right direction for a change.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Mercy 2005
Date: October 9, 2005
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a Smackdown only pay per view this time around and that could go in a variety of ways. We have a two match card here with Eddie Guerrero challenging Batista for the World Title, but the more interesting part of the story is whether or not Eddie has really changed. Other than that, we have the Ortons vs. Undertaker in a handicap casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Eddie’s addictions and evils being gone….and then cuts to a graveyard to talk about Undertaker vs. the Ortons. Well that was chilling.

MNM vs. Animal/Heidenreich/Christy Hemme

Animal has a bad shoulder coming in so Heidenreich pulls Nitro up from the floor by the hair to start things off. Heidenreich runs him over and hands it off to Animal, who misses a charge into the corner to hurt the shoulder again. The Snapshot connects early on but Nitro takes his time knocking Heidenreich down so Nitro can only get two. The arm is pulled around the middle rope and Mercury grabs a neckbreaker for two more.

Animal grabs a quick powerslam for his own two and Heidenreich comes in without a tag. That earns him a backdrop to the floor (good for him, the filthy cheater) and Melina tags herself in for no logical reason. Animal catches her in midair and brings Christy in to play Bret on a Hart Attack. A bad hurricanrana sets up a Doomsday Device to finish Melina (after Christy figures out how to cover).

Rating: D. The match was pretty bad, mainly because these teams have feuded for months now and there has never been any reason to believe that MNM has a chance against them. I get why they want Christy in there (it’s not difficult to figure out) but have her as the manager or something because she’s terrible in the ring. There’s a place for someone with her looks and charisma, but it’s not here.

Eddie Guerrero wishes Batista good luck, though he doesn’t seem the most sincere. Batista wishes him the same, albeit a bit more nicely.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Dean has a guy with him, carrying a plate of burgers. Simon talks about how how Houston is the fattest city in America, which is why he brought these twenty double cheeseburgers. You can have one and be ok, but the problem is eating all twenty at once. He’s so confident tonight that if he loses, he’ll eat all of them. Dean tries an early cheap shot and gets suplexed for his efforts. Lashley misses a charge into the corner so Dean throws the burgers at the referee. The distraction lets Dean get in a shot to the head with the cheeseburger tray….and Lashley just glares at him. The Dominator finishes in a hurry.

JBL isn’t worried about Raw wrestlers interfering because they’ll see what he does to Rey Mysterio. Cue Rey to speak Spanish, which doesn’t sit well with JBL. Rey hands him a mask, because JBL is going to want to hide in shame after the beating Rey gives him tonight. Or maybe Jillian Hall can wear it instead.

Teddy Long welcomes Lashley to Smackdown when he goes to answer some questions online. Shouldn’t that welcome have come either when he was signed or in the previous few weeks? Does Long usually just let people wander around the locker room and have matches?

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T. vs. Christian

Benoit is defending, it’s one fall to a finish and Sharmell handles Booker’s entrance. It’s a brawl to start with Benoit getting sent outside and Booker having to fight out of the corner. A double clothesline gets Booker out of trouble as Cole brings up the first assembly after 9/11 in this building. That’s how you keep the energy up man. Benoit comes back in and suplexes Christian onto Jordan, followed by Booker missile dropkicking Christian.

It’s Benoit vs. Booker for a bit and the fans are back into this one. Nothing actually happens though as Christian and Jordan come back in to break it up. Booker and Jordan clothesline each other for the double knockdown, leaving the Canadians to slug it out on top. They both fall to the floor and Booker forearms Jordan down for two.

Christian sends Benoit into Booker but Benoit is back up with the rolling German suplexes. More suplexes look to set up the Swan Dive but Christian gets out of the way. Instead, Benoit gets him in the Crossface but Jordan makes the save because he’s the only one who gets to tap out to that in big matches. With Jordan dispatched, Benoit Sharpshooters Christian to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and the three of them (plus Jordan) looked solid here. Benoit vs. Booker seems to be the next big feud based on that staredown but egads the idea of that much more Sharmell yelling at Booker for weeks on end makes my soul hurt. At least turn Booker hard heel if that’s what we have to sit through.

Post match Sharmell tells Booker that Benoit made him lose.

Lashley makes Dean eat the burgers, even though they were on the ground and on the mat.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly

Kennedy does his usual so Holly pulls him over the top and starts hammering away in the corner. The dropkick puts Kennedy down again and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with him being in control here. Kennedy begs off and manages a shot to the ribs so he can throw Holly outside. A ram into the corner makes it worse and the armbar goes on. Holly armdrags his way out, only to get taken down with a DDT on the arm.

We hit another armbar (albeit a different kind, which is always appreciated) but this time Holly backdrops his way to freedom. A full nelson slam gives Holly two and he picks Kennedy up…but just drops him. I’m not sure what that was supposed to be but Holly kicks him in the lower gut and gets two off a rollup. Kennedy hits a spinning kick to the head but Holly just stands there, completely no selling the thing. A big boot gives Holly two and he heads up top, only to get caught with the super Regal Roll for the pin.

Rating: D+. That was a weird sequence leading into the ending as Holly just dropped Kennedy for some reason and then didn’t sell a pretty big kick. Maybe he was mad at Kennedy for something but it didn’t look good at all. Then again neither does having these two having these two on pay per view, as you could see a bunch of empty seats popping up throughout the match.

Post match Holly is favoring his ribs so here’s Sylvan to attack the ribs even more.

Simon is still eating and finds a hair in one of the burgers.

Sharmell yells at Booker for losing but Kennedy interrupts to brag about winning. Sharmell yells at Booker even more, saying he’s his own problem.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. Rey slugs away to start, including some kicks to the thigh. That earns him a headlock takeover as we talk about the growth on Jillian Hall’s face. Rey fights up and avoids an elbow, allowing him to kick JBL outside. The chase is on until Rey hits a baseball slide, only to have JBL hit him in the back.

Rey goes right back to the knee but it’s too early for the 619. Instead JBL bails to the floor and gets caught with a bulldog from the apron. JBL sends him hard into the timekeeper’s area and it’s time to pound Rey down in the corner. The super fall away slam sends Rey flying and a regular version makes it worse.

There’s a third on the floor and it’s time to hit the bearhug back inside. Rey fights out so JBL sets him on top, only to get caught with a “spinning tornado” DDT, according to Cole, who presumably doesn’t know what a tornado is. Rey’s moonsault press gets two but JBL shoulders him down. The Clothesline From JBL is countered with a dropkick and Rey hits the 619, only to walk into the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s tied for the match of the night so far and that’s not really saying much. You could have gone with either winning here as JBL is still a big star on the show and keeping him strong makes sense for future matches. Mysterio isn’t someone who is going to be hurt by a loss, especially when he’s a foot shorter than JBL. Good enough match here and better than I would have bet on.

We recap the Ortons vs. Undertaker. Randy is still annoyed at Undertaker for beating him at Wrestlemania so he brought in his dad to help him. Tonight, it’s a handicap casket match.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton/Bob Orton

Casket match, with Tony Chimmel incorrectly saying it is the first handicap casket match in history (HHH had one against Mideon and Viscera on Smackdown in 1999). Druids bring down the casket before Undertaker’s entrance to stretch it out even longer. The two of them can’t surround Undertaker as he slips between them and hits some shots to the face. Undertaker knocks Bob onto the casket but Randy gets in a low blow and drops a knee.

That’s broken up and Bob gets thrown into the casket, only to have Randy send Undertaker knees first into the steps. Undertaker fights out of the casket and drives his shoulder into Randy’s, setting up a Downward Spiral. Randy has to save his dad from Old School and a double superplex brings Undertaker back down. Bob tries to cover but then calls for the lid to be opened after realizing what’s going on (fair enough as this isn’t quite in his wheelhouse).

For some reason they try to suplex Undertaker over the top and into the casket instead of, you know, rolling him in, which goes as well as you would expect. A double DDT gets Undertaker out of trouble and Bob is thrown into the casket. Snake Eyes takes too long though and Bob gets out. That means Randy has to go into the post and a chair shot puts Randy in the casket. Undertaker triangle chokes Bob (because you can’t just chokeslam Bob) but the delay lets Randy pull the two of them inside with him.

Bob gets left inside with the lid shut but Randy powerslams Undertaker inside. Randy hammers away in the corner and, of course, gets caught in the Last Ride, though he’s able to slip out instead. Undertaker tries to throw him in but Bob pops out of the casket with a fire extinguisher to blind Undertaker, setting up the RKO. That and a fire extinguisher to the head put Undertaker down but he grabs Randy and pulls him in with him. The lid is closed, which should be an Ortons win, but they pop back out. One more fire extinguisher to the head is finally enough to put Undertaker in alone for the win.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be but Bob added enough to the match to be worthwhile. If nothing else it leaves the door open for a bigger one on one rematch down the line, likely in the Cell. They could have cut off about five minutes from this though and it would have been a lot better. Undertaker will be back because he always is, and it’s going to be time for revenge.

Post match the casket is locked and the Ortons wheel it up to the stage. Just like Kane in 1998, the light it on fire as everyone freaks out. Unlike 1998 there is more to go, and let’s get straight to that.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Nunzio

Juventud is challenging after winning a battle royal on Velocity and Vito/the Mexicools are at ringside. During the entrances, we’re told that the Ortons are doing an interview backstage, because that’s what you do after LIGHTING SOMEONE ON FIRE ON LIVE TELEVISION! They trade rollups for two each to start as the camera suddenly won’t stay on the standard shot.

Could it have something to do with the large empty sections opposite the hard camera during this match? Juventud hurricanranas him off the top and then dropkicks him in the face for two. A kick to Juvy’s face sets up the middle rope legdrop but Juvy gets out of the way and takes out Vito. Back in and a northern lights suplex sets up the Juvy Driver for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was short, disjointed, and in between the big matches on the show. What else were you really expecting to happen here? The fans didn’t care, the match was thrown onto the card and it’s for the most worthless title this side of the Western States Heritage Championship. What else was going to happen?

Post match Juvy cuts a promo with the Spanish announce team before leaving on his lawnmower.

Simon Dean can’t take anymore and runs for the bathroom after nineteen burgers.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista. Eddie got the title shot at Palmer Cannon/the Network’s suggestion and suddenly decided that he was a changed man. It isn’t clear if he is or not, but Batista has warned him about what is going to happen if Eddie stabs him in the back.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Batista is defending. They stare each other down to start until Eddie takes him down by the legs. That’s broken up with a standoff and they stare each other down….to a standing ovation? Ok then. Batista easily takes over with a test of strength so Eddie climbs the ropes, only to get slammed back down. A headlock keeps Eddie in trouble but the Texas crowd gets behind him all over again.

The hold stays on for a good while until Batista slams and shoulders him out to the floor. Eddie grabs a chair and that’s too far for Batista, but Eddie snaps his throat across the top rope. The frog splash to the back gets two and it’s a bodyscissors to stay on the back. Eddie switches over to a half crab but Batista makes the rope without breaking much of a sweat.

That lets Eddie grab a tag rope, which he throws down without using. Instead it’s back to the bodyscissors with a chinlock but this time Batista powers up to his feet. Batista charges but this time Eddie takes the knee out and grabs a Texas Cloverleaf. That’s broken up and the referee gets bumped, meaning it’s time for an evil smile.

Eddie picks up the chair but still can’t do it. Instead he throws the chair to the floor but Batista saw it in his hands and isn’t happy. The beatdown is on, including the spear and a spinebuster for a delayed two as Batista’s back is banged up. That’s enough for Eddie to hit Three Amigos but Batista is back up with another spinebuster to retain.

Rating: D+. I don’t know if it was a lack of chemistry or trying to do too much storyline stuff and not enough wrestling, but this didn’t exactly work. There’s more to this one though and while I can understand not doing the big blowoff in their first match, this was a disappointing end to a bad show. It could have been worse, but it needed to be a lot bigger after the rest of the show so far.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad, with the two good matches barely being able to headline a regular Smackdown. The main event didn’t deliver and the Ortons vs. Undertaker wasn’t that much better. It could have been worse and the two matches two help, but this felt like a bad B show and underwhelmed even with almost no expectations coming in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2005
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and that means the show needs one more push towards the pay per view. Last week Eddie Guerrero may or may not have hit Batista in the back with a chair on purpose. That’s the kind of thing that could go either way for Eddie and that is making the story more interesting. We also need to deal with the fallout from Monday, when Smackdown and Raw got in a big brawl at Homecoming. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Raw vs. Smackdown brawl.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon in the ring. Teddy announces that tonight, it’s the six man tag that Eric Bischoff wouldn’t let you see last night: JBL/Christian/Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio/Chris Benoit/Batista. Cannon grabs the mic to say Smackdown can fight Raw again anytime with the network’s full report. Teddy knows Bischoff is going to want some revenge so the Raw wrestlers can come to No Mercy and start something that Smackdown will finish.

Cue the Ortons with Randy asking Long and Cannon to leave. Teddy has something to say but Cannon says they’ll leave the ring for the future of Smackdown. Randy is hoping Undertaker is watching, because tonight another legend is being destroyed. The Ortons are going to destroy the legend of Roddy Piper in a handicap match. Bob talks about his time with Piper and they were friends, but this is family. Why did Piper get all the glory when Bob did all the work? Cue Roddy Piper, with a pipe, to take both of them out without much trouble.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

Sharmell introduces Booker. They lock up to start and the fans go straight to the YOU TAPPED OUT chants for Jordan. Some cheap shots in the corner put Booker down as I’m just waiting for Jordan to screw something up. A running elbow gives Jordan a delayed one and Booker strikes away without much trouble. Jordan is right back with a knee to the ribs and the chinlock goes on.

Back up and Jordan elbows him in the face before turning Booker inside out with a clothesline for two. They head outside and Booker kicks a chair out of Jordan’s hands and it’s time to go back inside. Jordan tries to suplex him back in from the apron but Sharmell trips him up (Booker couldn’t see it) so Booker can land on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. That might be the best one on one match I’ve ever seen Jordan have and I’m not sure how much of that is due to Booker being able to make anyone look at least passable. At the same time though, Sharmell continues to be annoying and drags Booker down more and more every time. What does it say when you need help to beat Orlando Jordan?

Post match Booker sees what happened on the Titantron and isn’t happy with Sharmell.

Hardcore Holly vs. Sylvan

Mr. Kennedy, in a suit, comes out to introduce himself as a guest commentator. Sylvan starts fast and hammers away in the corner as Kennedy makes Sparkplug references. Holly is back with chops and the dropkick, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Holly hits his kick to the rather low abdomen but as the referee checks on Sylvan, allowing Kennedy to hit Holly with a microphone. Sylvan is up with a vertical suplex into a DDT for the pin.

Post match, Kennedy announces Holly as the loser. In a match involving Sylvain, he’s always the loser.

Piper talks about his history with Bob Orton. See, Bob isn’t quite the sharpest guy in the world and complained about the light being in his eyes so Piper bought him his hat. Then he complained about being called Jr. so Piper called him ace instead. Then Orton broke his hand, but who really had the handicap? This was one of those Piper promos where he goes in one direction and then says something where you’re kind of left scratching your head. In other words, it was more coherent than almost anything he has said in fifteen fifteen years.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Paul Burchill/William Regal

Non-title and Animal and Heidenreich have Christy Hemme in their corner. Burchill gets thrown around to start so it’s off to Regal, who sends Animal shoulder first into the buckle. The arm gets posted twice in a row but Animal uses the good arm for a backdrop. Heidenreich comes in and everything breaks down. Christy gets on the apron to call for the Doomsday Device but Melina comes out to pull her down as MNM comes in to jump the champs for the DQ.

Post match Animal and Heidenreich are sent outside, leaving Christy to take the Snapshot. That might make the six person tag a little unfair. I mean to MNM and Melina, as Christy being out can only help Animal and Smackdown.

Eddie Guerrero, in a Batista shirt, says he showed he had Batista’s back last week because they’re close.

Here’s Eddie for a chat. He’s the #1 contender and that means he has the privilege of facing someone he admires in Batista. Eddie shows us some footage from after Raw went off the air of….the Smackdown wrestlers slowly backing up the ramp. This proves that Eddie had his back so on Sunday, the two of them will still be friends after the match. With that faulty logic out of the way, here’s Batista, in the same shirt, with Eddie playing cheerleader.

Batista shows us a clip of the chair shot from last week and he’d like an explanation. He’d also like a chair from ringside, which has Eddie a bit nervous. Batista hands it to Eddie and turns around, saying we should bring it out into the open. Eddie throws the chair down and says he was wrong about Batista. He thought Batista was just like him, but if the roles were reversed last week, it couldn’t have been Batista hitting him?

Eddie goes to leave but Batista says he wants to believe he has changed. Batista has eyes in the back of his head and if Eddie tries to screw him, it’s going to mean pain. That’s what Eddie wants, because the Batista he knows could hurt someone. Eddie promises to prove himself on Sunday and he’ll show it tonight too. I’m getting into this more and more every week as the mind games have been pretty awesome.

Raw Rebound.

Randy Orton/Bob Orton vs. Roddy Piper

Piper bites Randy to start and pokes him in the eye so it’s off to Bob for the old man slugout. It’s back to Randy for a dropkick and some right hands but Bob begs his son to let him get the pin. Bob loads up an elbow and there’s the gong strike. No one comes out so Bob hits the elbow anyway….and the gong goes off again, this time with the lights flickering. The distraction lets Piper small package Bob for the pin.

Rating: D. This had a bit of history to it but mainly felt like Piper was brought in because he was around for Homecoming. They were very smart to keep this short as you don’t want these guys trying to have a long match. There’s nothing wrong with Piper pinning Bob so while the match was bad, it was all you could have asked for in this situation.

Post match the druids are here to bring out a casket built for two. Undertaker pops up on screen to dare the Ortons to look inside. The lid pops up and Orton mannequins are inside to freak out Bob and Randy. Then the lights go out again and Undertaker is in the ring to scare them off.

Bobby Lashley vs. Eddie Craven

Hold on though as here’s Simon Dean, with his hand in a cast, to interrupt. Lashley broke his hand last week because he needed to take away the strength advantage. On Sunday, Simon is going to win because of advanced cardiovascular conditioning. Therefore, he’s going to do squats during the match. Lashley sends Craven into the corner to start and puts Craven in a fireman’s carry for some more impressive squats. A clothesline sets up an overhead suplex but Simon grabs Lashley’s leg. That goes nowhere so Lashley finishes with the Dominator in a hurry.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio/Chris Benoit/Batista

The match that would have been on Monday and Jillian Hall is here with the villains. Joined in progress with Benoit and Christian fighting over a lockup in the corner to no avail. Benoit gets serious and tries a Crossface but Christian goes straight to the ropes in a smart move. It’s off to Eddie for another version of a match that never gets old.

Neither can get anywhere with the technical stuff so they go to a test of strength with Eddie headbutting and kicking away. Eventually he flips forward into a hurricanrana for a rather unique way out. It’s off to Batista and Eddie isn’t sure what to do. A quick takedown attempt doesn’t get Eddie very far as Batista kicks him away and hits a gorilla press. JBL comes in and gets his knee dropkicked out by Rey, only to come back with a hard shoulder.

Rey goes to the apron but an Eddie distraction lets JBL knock him to the floor. Back from a break with Christian putting Rey in an abdominal stretch to keep him in trouble. Rey slips out and misses a springboard crossbody, allowing JBL to come in with a swinging neckbreaker. Eddie charges into an elbow in the corner though and Rey hits the sitout bulldog. The hot tag brings in Batista and it’s house cleaning time in a hurry. Eddie low bridges JBL to save Batista, allowing the spinebuster to finish Christian.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard main event six man tag but the talent involved is more than enough to carry it. Eddie vs. Batista has some potential on Sunday but a good build doesn’t necessarily mean a good match. The other matches were barely touched on but they have been set up well enough already. I can always go for mixing up a bunch of feuds into one match so this was as good of a main event as you could have had.

Post match Eddie hugs Batista but JBL and company jump both of them. Eddie and Batista clear the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. No Mercy isn’t looking great and this show didn’t do much to make me think otherwise. I like Eddie vs. Batista but the rest of the card is really showcasing just how weak the Smackdown roster is at the moment. The top talent is doing what they can but when you have Orlando Jordan, Hardcore Holly, Sylvan and Heidenreich getting pay per view matches, it might be time to rethink things a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2005
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

No Mercy is coming up pretty soon and that means the card needs to start being set up. We already have the World Title match set and you can probably guess a few more from here. That makes for some interesting moments, though the Palmer Cannon story is already wearing thin. Hopefully everything else can balance it out. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Booker takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean break because Booker is a nice guy. A hiptoss has Christian bailing to the ropes for a breather but a clothesline puts him down again. Booker slugs away in the corner but Christian powerbombs him off the ropes and grabs a chinlock. That gives us a rather amusing visual as Booker looks irritated at having to do this so Christian steps on his head for a change of pace. Back up and a double clothesline knocks both of them down.

It’s Booker up first with the side kick connecting for two and a spinebuster puts Christian down for two more. He’s back up with a clothesline and unhooks a turnbuckle pad, causing Sharmell to yell at the referee. That means there’s a delayed two off the Book End, allowing Christian to get in a poke to the eye. Sharmell gets up on the apron to yell this time so Christian sends Booker shoulder first into the post. Christian loads up the Unprettier so Sharmell pulls his leg, allowing Booker to grab a rollup pin.

Rating: C-. Egads this Sharmell stuff is getting annoying but it might lead to Booker turning heel, where he thrives a little bit better. The match was the usual decent one between these two, albeit with Sharmell getting involved so often that it got annoying in a hurry. Now can we get back to one of these two going after the US Title again?

Eddie Guerrero has a stomach ache but refuses to be taken out of the main event where he teams with Batista against MNM. Vomiting ensues.

Jillian Hall introduces JBL as Texas’ favorite son and richer than JR Ewing. JBL comes out in street clothes to say he’s managed to come home again. This place reminds him of how far he’s come because now he knows how great New York City is. Texas has its perks too, like JBL being born here. People are still chanting his name though, from Texas Tech to Madison Square Garden. He still doesn’t like people who come here in the dead of night and wear masks to hide from immigration. JBL will defend wrestling and America because he is a wrestling god.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Jared Steel/Anthony Galleti

Non-title and Galleti is pinned off a Doomsday Device in about a minute.

Sylvan (minus the Grenier) doesn’t think much of how Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler look. Hardcore Holly comes in to defend their honor.

Sylvan vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly has Christy and Stacy with him but gets jumped by Sylvan to start. That earns Sylvan some chops but he sends Holly over the top for a crash. A running knee in the corner drops Holly again but he’s right back with a dropkick for the breather. The spinebuster looks to set up the Alabama Slam but Sylvain slips out. Sylvan catches him with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Holly come back with a shot to the face. That’s enough for Sylvan, who leaves for the countout.

Rating: D. As has been the case for several weeks now, points for trying someone new but it’s still Sylvan vs. Holly. What are you expecting from these guys? The match was short and nothing all that interesting, but was it ever going to be anything else? Sylvan as a fashion expert is Sylvan with a gimmick. I need more than that.

Teddy Long tells Batista about Eddie’s issues but the best doctor in town is on the way.

Cowboy Bob Orton has a casket in the ring and is directing people to set up decorations for what looks like a funeral.

We recap last week’s main event, including Undertaker seeing himself in a casket.

Bob brings out Randy Orton for part of the Undertaker’s retirement ceremony. They open the casket to show the fake Undertaker and Randy talks about how he won last week with mind games. As he is talking, the mannequin opens its eyes and neither Randy nor Bob have any idea what is going on behind them. Randy leans over Randy and gets grabbed by the throat but Bob pulls him to safety. Short angle but to the point well enough.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Kennedy says Chimmel is getting the hang of this commentary thing. Kennedy gives him a hug and tells Chimmel to take a bow, but it’s a low blow to put Chimmel down instead. A mic drops from the ceiling and Kennedy handles his own entrance, even saying that he gained a pound because the Simon System works. The threat of an early 619 sends Kennedy to the floor but he picks Mysterio up and hits a backbreaker for two back inside.

Mysterio sends him into the corner and gets in a springboard crossbody, only to get planted hard again. Kennedy sends him to the apron so Mysterio springboards in with a seated senton. That earns him a DDT but Kennedy misses a charge and gets caught with a Fameasser over the middle rope. Cue JBL, on a horse, for a distraction though, allowing Kennedy to hit the super Regal Roll for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine enough but what matters here was some smart booking. They advanced Mysterio vs. JBL, which is all but guaranteed for No Mercy, but also keep Kennedy undefeated and strong. Just like in the previous match, they’re trying something new, but in this case they might have something with Kennedy.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long has an idea for Raw Homecoming but he and Cannon need to focus on tonight’s main event.

Sharmell has been talking to Kennedy and doesn’t know why Booker can’t get a US Title shot.

The doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong with Eddie and neither does the attractive nurse.

Simon Dean comes out and gets a debuting star.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley shoves him down to start so Simon needs a shake. Simon can’t do much so Lashley bounds him off the mat in a unique spot. For some reason Dean tries a half nelson so Lashley does pushups with Simon on his back. Lashley suplexes him down and finishes with a Dominator. Why wouldn’t you push this guy to the moon?

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Benoit is defending and takes his time here, finishing with the Crossface in about 50 seconds. I think we get the joke now.

Eddie seems to be feeling better after the nurse works on him but freaks out when Batista replaces her. Batista has his own doctor, who seems to violate Eddie in a rather personal way. The doctor’s name? Dr. Barnett.

Undertaker vs. the Ortons in a casket match is confirmed for No Mercy.

Batista/Eddie Guerrero vs. MNM

There’s no Eddie to start but he hobbles down the aisle, still holding his stomach. Mercury gets shoved into the corner to start and then gets shoved down for a bonus. For some reason Mercury tries shoving Batista, meaning it’s a chase around the ring. Back in and Mercury can’t whip Batista either so Batista easily chokes him. Nitro gets in a kick to the back and Mercury scores with a neckbreaker for two. Batista shrugs off a double suplex and spears Nitro down, meaning it’s time to clean house. A Melina distraction lets Batista hit the Batista Bomb on Mercury, only to have Eddie tag himself in and steal the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match as MNM loses again, this time in a glorified handicap match. At least it was to someone who is at the top of the food chain, though it is still annoying to see a team who could be so much lose over and over. They aren’t the champions at the moment though so it could be a lot worse. Just get them their titles back from Animal and Heidenreich as the story is over. Batista vs. Eddie is getting interesting though and I want to see where things go from here with the mind games going hard.

Batista isn’t pleased with a smiling Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a rough show this week with the wrestling not being all that great and the stories only being so good. Eddie vs. Batista is an interesting take on things but Cowboy Bob isn’t quite enough to make me care about the (still good) Undertaker vs. Randy feud any more and JBL vs. Mysterio is just a feud that is taking place. The show wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t very good and No Mercy isn’t looking great so far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2005
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With Raw’s Unforgiven coming up on two days after this show, it’s time to start setting up the next Smackdown pay per view. Last week seemed to be an ending point for some big stories and that means we are coming up on some new stuff. I’m looking forward to seeing what they have in store but you never know what that might be. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Christian

Non-title. Hold on though as here’s Orlando Jordan who says he wants another shot. Christian and Jordan beat Benoit down but Jordan gets caught in the Crossface. Christian breaks that up so here’s Booker T. to make it a tag match. The REFEREE makes it a tag match though as he must have sights on Teddy’s job.

Christian/Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Sharmell comes out to watch as Booker hiptosses Christian to start. The spinebuster gives Booker two but Jordan gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Christian knocks him to the floor and gets two off a neckbreaker back inside. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Christian keeps Booker down and brings Jordan in. Now why would you do something stupid like that?

Jordan grabs his own chinlock and, of course, Booker fights up and hits the Book End because Jordan is really, really bad at wrestling. Benoit comes in and suplexes Christian but Jordan breaks up the Crossface. Jordan and Booker head outside with the former grabbing a chair so Booker shoves him away, right into Sharmell. That’s not cool with Booker but in the melee, Christian hits the Unprettier to finish Benoit.

Rating: C-. It’s almost amazing how bad Jordan is and yet WWE keeps him at this level for whatever reason. He can’t do anything above the most basic stuff and can’t even do that right. That’s what makes it such a relief to have Christian being moved into Jordan’s slot against Benoit. It’s an instant (mega) upgrade and a huge relief.

Video on Randy Orton being the Legend Killer and Undertaker being the Undertaker.

Batista flirts with Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler, has a sip of a Simon System milkshake, and heads to the ring.

Palmer Cannon and Teddy Long bring out Batista for a chat. Batista says he needs a new #1 contender, so Teddy, “Network guy”, who’s it going to be? Long is ready to announce someone who sounds a lot like Rey Mysterio as #1 contender but Cannon takes the mic away and picks Eddie Guerrero. Eddie talks about his addictions with the biggest being his addiction to manipulation. Last week, he finally beat Rey and now he has a new addiction: respect.

Now he is all about honor and love and Batista is greatness. There won’t be any hate at No Mercy and they can have the greatest match of all time. Batista says they can be friends and Eddie is very pleased. Everyone knows what kind of man Eddie is and imagine what kind of champion he can be. Eddie offers a handshake and wants to be friends but Batista wants a hug. This was a bit weird, but the mind games are going to be a lot of fun to watch, mainly because Batista is smart.

Tag Team Titles: Heidenreich/Animal vs. MNM

MNM is challenging because these teams are the tag division these days. Heidenreich runs Mercury over to start so it’s already time for a conference. Mercury gets in a few cheap shots before running to the floor, where Animal nails him with a clothesline. Animal comes in and gets choked on the ropes, setting up a double Russian legsweep for two. A neckbreaker gets the same and we hit the quickly broken sleeper. Animal kicks that away and brings Heidenreich back in to clean house. Melina’s interference fails as everything breaks down, including Mercury hitting Heidenreich with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D. So yes the feud can continue so WWE can sell more DVDs. They would be a lot better off by having Heidenreich and Animal destroying jobbers because these matches are just showing how nothing Animal and Heidenreich have in matches that last more than a minute. The nostalgia run is fine, but don’t treat it like it’s anything more than nostalgia/cashing in on the original team’s legacy.

Long and Cannon argue over Eddie being named #1 contender but the network has its wishes.

The Ortons have a surprise for Undertaker in the back of a U-Haul truck.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey kicks at the leg to start so JBL punches him in the face to cut that off in a hurry. An armdrag looks to set up the 619 so JBL hits a hard shoulder to drop him again. A hard whip sends Rey into the corner and it’s off to the bearhug. Rey slips out and grabs a DDT to put them both down for a double breather. A basement dropkick gives Rey…well nothing actually as JBL is under the rope. Rey dropkicks the knee into the 619 but the springboard seated senton is blocked. That’s fine with Rey who hits a springboard moonsault press for the quick pin.

Rating: C-. This would seem to set up a rematch at No Mercy as JBL isn’t going to be happy with a loss to someone like Mysterio. The good thing about Rey is something like this could be considered a fluke win and allows for a variety of rematches, even though seeing JBL over and over doesn’t exactly bode well. He’s still one of the top heels on Smackdown though and putting the two of them together is a fine way to go.

Nunzio and Vito are in Teddy’s office with the former wanting to know why he’s isn’t wrestling even though he’s Cruiserweight Champion. Eddie, who is still here, suggests a match with Batista and Cannon makes the match.

JBL won’t answer questions and walks away so here’s Mr. Kennedy to ask why he isn’t getting some attention. Oh and Josh Matthews smells so bad he smells like Arkansas. Kennedy introduces himself and as luck would have it, he’s up next.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jacus Plisken

Right hands and the super Regal Roll finish Jock in about a minute.

Batista vs. Nunzio

Non-title, Vito is here with Nunzio and Eddie is watching from the stage. The announcers make it clear that Nunzio has been stuck on Velocity in recent weeks, further killing anything the title could still offer. Batista pulls both of them inside and throws Nunzio at Vito. Vito’s distraction lets Nunzio get in a dropkick and that’s enough to set off the destruction. The Batista Bomb finishes in a hurry. I’d love an explanation for why they do this to the Cruiserweight Title. It’s been the case for a long time now and there has to be a reason.

Randy Orton tells Cowboy Bob to wait for the right moment.

JBL has a secret meeting with Jillian Hall because he needs her assistance.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Undertaker shoving him away and grabbing a rather harsh headlock. A big boot gives Undertaker two and it’s off to a keylock. Orton fights up but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar as it’s weird to see scientific Undertaker. Old School is broken up with a crotching and Orton headbutts him so hard that he staggers himself. The superplex plants Undertaker and Orton calls for his dad to bring the truck.

Since we’re about five minutes into the match, Undertaker sits up, only to get DDTed back down. The truck comes in and is opened to reveal….a casket. Back from a break with Undertaker fighting out of a chinlock and elbowing away in the corner. That just earns him a dropkick and we hit the chinlock again. Orton goes up top but dives into a raised boot to leave them both staggered. The over the back backbreaker drops Undertaker, but he slugs Orton down from his knees.

The jumping clothesline connects and Undertaker scores with the big boot into Snake Eyes. Orton kicks him in the face and Undertaker glares him down before heading outside. Undertaker teases sending him into the casket but there’s an Undertaker mannequin inside, allowing Orton to send him into the steps. Back in and Orton has to slip out of a Last Ride attempt, only to have the referee get bumped. The RKO gets two from a second referee and a chokeslam connects for the same, with Bob pulling the referee out. Another RKO is countered and the Tombstone finishes Orton.

Rating: C. The match was a good bit overbooked but that’s the kind of thing that you have to expect from a main event level match like this. I’m sure we’ll get a casket match eventually and while that might not be thrilling, it does make sense given the story. Hopefully the wrestling is a bit better, but there is a special feeling when Undertaker is in the ring.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great here but what matters is that we are seeing some new stuff. Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Christian vs. Benoit, plus the continued rise of Kennedy all give me some hope for the next month. Smackdown had some good stuff over the summer but they have been long overdue for some fresh blood. Hopefully we can get something good in the coming weeks and this show made me think that’s a possibility.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 11, 2005
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the card seems to be set on both sides. This time around we need to build more towards the lower half of the card as Randy Orton vs. Undertaker and the World Title match are mostly set. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for tonight though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Booker T. vs. Joey Mercury

Fallout from last week where Mercury stole a pin on Booker in a tag match. Sharmell is here with Booker while Melina, Nitro and Jillian Hall are here with Mercury. An early Jillian distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot so that’s an early double ejection of both Nitro and Hall. Booker hammers away to start and hits an elbow and kick to the jaw.

Mercury is back with a knee to the ribs and a clothesline to set up the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry as Booker strikes away even more, setting up a side slam for two. The flapjack into the Spinarooni into the Book End looks to finish but we need a catfight on the floor. Mercury’s rollup gets two so it’s the ax kick to give Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with Booker not exactly breaking a sweat against Mercury. That being said, it’s not like Mercury is supposed to be much on his own, hence the whole team aspect. Booker is a much bigger star and we might see a Tag Team Title match at some point, assuming Booker and Benoit are still partners.

It’s time for the Peep Show with a rather awesome set, including an inflatable flame chair. Christian wastes no time in bringing out Batista as this week’s guest and the fans are rather pleased. Christian can’t believe that he, the biggest Draft pick, isn’t on Summerslam. Batista certainly is though and we hear about the match with JBL.

That’s not cool with Christian, so he’s going to be beating Batista tonight. Batista: “Are you talking to me?” Christian freaks out so Batista takes the mic and says Christian needs an attitude adjustment. The fans seem interested though and the match is made. Better than more of Batista trying to make me interested in another match against JBL.

Heidenreich/Animal vs. Scotty Sabre/Jason Static

Non-title. Heidenreich and Animal jump them before the bell and the beatdown is on in a hurry. A Boss Man Slam hits Sabre so it’s off to Static, who gets his head knocked off by Animal’s clothesline. The powerslam into the Doomsday Device finishes in a hurry.

The Mysterios arrived earlier.

We recap last week’s announcement of Eddie Guerrero wanting custody of Rey Mysterio’s son Dominic.

Randy Orton is returning to the ring tonight and demands to know his opponent. Theodore Long says Orton can find out in the ring. All Orton can know is that it’s a legendary opponent of the Undertaker.

Randy Orton vs. ???

The opponent is…..Kamala, with Kim Chee. Was Damien Demento not available? Kamala slaps his stomach a lot and chops away, followed by more belly slapping. Orton gets in some right hands and a dropkick puts Kamala down. Kim Chee gets on the apron as Orton cranks on the neck. A knee drop gets two and Orton brings Kim Chee inside for an RKO. That fires Kamala up so Orton pokes him in the eye and hits the RKO…as the lights go out. We’ll say that’s the no contest.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? Kamala was 55 at this point and wasn’t exactly someone you expected to win a big match at this best. It was fine as a way to get to the post match stuff and it worked out just fine. The match itself was nothing of course and the setup with Undertaker was all that mattered.

Post match the blue lights come on and the ring fills with smoke. Nothing is said, but it’s a cool visual.

A woman from child protective services is here to observe Eddie and Dominic to decide what is best for tonight. Eddie says he’ll she her what is going on.

Here are Eddie and the social worker, who looks rather intimidated to be in a big arena. After getting the social worker’s name wrong, Eddie talks about wanting to bring Dominic into a home full of….compassion and…..honesty and truth, all of which aren’t the easiest things for him to say. The Mysterios come out and Eddie drops to his knees as Dominic looks confused (as usual).

Eddie blames the Mysterios as the social worker takes notes. With Dominic not coming to him, Eddie gets in Rey’s face and says no one beats him. Rey doesn’t quite agree but Dominic hasn’t spoken a word since Eddie’s story last week. Eddie has beaten everything, including addiction, but he can’t beat Rey. Even when Eddie gets inducted into the Hall of Fame, his plaque will say he couldn’t beat Rey Mysterio.

So the solution is clear: they need to have a match for the custody of Dominic at Summerslam. Eddie doesn’t think so, but Rey calling him a chicken****. Eddie finally agrees and says Dominic comes home with him tonight. Social worker: “Are you kidding me? You people are a bunch of crazies!” Until Summerslam, Dominic is going into foster care. Rey tells him it’s going to be ok and Eddie promises Dominic that the nightmare ends at Summerslam. This went over twenty minutes but the social’s worker’s response was funny and it gave us one of the most infamous match stipulations ever so I can live with it.

Mexicools vs. William Regal/Scotty 2 Hotty

Earlier today, Regal was disturbed by the idea of Scotty’s Worm. Scotty and Crazy start things off with Scotty running him over. A cheap shot from the floor lets Juvy (not in the match) get in some cheap shots though and it’s Crazy hitting a running dropkick. Psicosis comes in with a legdrop for a delayed cover, though he already made a tag for a rather confusing choice of actions. Scotty fights up but Regal drops to the floor instead of accepting a tag, meaning it’s handicap time. Crazy knocks Scotty down and Psicosis’ guillotine legdrop is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Another match designed to be about the angle instead of the match and….do they think I’m going to be interested in Regal turning on Scotty in a match with the Mexicools? I know you have to have some lower level stories but coming up with some more interesting people shouldn’t be that difficult.

Rey and his wife Angie are in tears.

Jillian Hall challenges Booker and Sharmell to a mixed tag against Mercury and Melina. And don’t look at her blemish.

Here’s John Cena’s new music video.

Chris Benoit vs. Simon Dean

Dean calls Benoit a flabby wolverine and the beating is on in a hurry. A few forearms to the back and a clothesline get Dean out of trouble. The front facelock goes on with Dean firing off some knees to the face so Benoit rolls the German suplexes. Three in a row set up the Crossface for the fast tap. Just a step above a squash.

Christian vs. Batista

Non-title. The trash talk is on in a hurry so Batista tells him to bring it on. Christian tries to shove him away from a lockup and is launched into the ropes for his efforts. Some rams into the corner have Christian’s face in some pain and his sunset flip attempt just annoys Batista. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and a right hand drops him again. Back in and Batista gets sent shoulder first into the post, meaning it’s time for the armbar. Batista powers out of that as well and hits a super backdrop, setting up the shoulders in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but JBL comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean anything but there could have been a nice match in there if they had some more time. What we got was watchable enough though as Batista is getting into the groove of being the top dog. It’s very good that he’s gotten away from HHH for a change though as that was only going to let him get so far. Christian continues to look like a star in the making and at least he didn’t get pinned when he didn’t have to.

Post match Christian offers a distraction and JBL gets in a chair shot to the head. A bunch of chair shots to the back keep Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As was mentioned more than once, this wasn’t a show built around adding anything major to Summerslam. The show is set and all we needed was some finalizing of details (you knew Eddie vs. Rey was coming and this just made it official). The build was mostly good, though that Eddie vs. Rey promo could have been cut down by a good bit. The problem is that while it did some good things, it wasn’t in the most interesting way and that brought it down a lot. Not a very good show, but at least it got some things done in a bit of a different way.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 4, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re two and a half weeks away from Summerslam and things are starting to come together. Last week saw Eddie Guerrero go WAY over the line by telling Rey Mysterio and his son Dominick that Eddie was Dominick’s real father, though he’s not done with his stories. Other than that we’re building towards JBL vs. Batista for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Eddie/Rey situation from last week. Eddie’s “I LIED” was great.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Rey Mysterio to be the first ever guest on the debut edition of the Peep Show. Christian thinks the appropriate question is who’s your daddy and recaps last week until Rey cuts him off. Rey is here because he wants to fight Eddie right now but Eddie comes up on screen. He has the Eddie’s Bedtime Stories book, plus reading glasses to complete the evil look.

Eddie shows off the new I’M YOUR PAPI shirt and thinks it’s time for Chapter Two. Rey tries to cut him off but Eddie, again being the smartest person on the show, just reads over him. Actually hold on as Eddie changes his mind and decides to finish this later. He’ll finish it by the end of the show. Christian jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with the Unprettier.

Jillian Hall explains how much the blemish on her face has hurt her soul. We get a closeup look at it and she asks if it’s oozing. She wants people to look her in the eyes because she has a purpose. Her name is Jillian Hall and she is MNM’s fixer. She walks over to Sharmell and Booker T. (good thing they were standing there) and walks on by, with Booker wanting to make sure he didn’t just see that.

MNM vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Booker and Nitro start things off, thankfully cutting off Tazz hammering home the fact that Jillian has a big growth on her face. Nitro’s headlock doesn’t work very well as Booker clotheslines him down for two. Benoit comes in for two off a snap suplex but it’s quickly off to Mercury, who gets chopped down as well. It’s way too early for the Sharpshooter though as Nitro pulls Mercury outside as we take a break.

Back with Booker kicking Nitro in the face for two and a neckbreaker is good for the same. Everything breaks down and Benoit gets to snap off the release German suplexes. A Melina distraction lets Mercury break up a belly to back superplex though and Benoit is in trouble for the first time. Well it’s better than more talking about the blemish, because you might not have gotten the idea just yet.

A running knee in the corner keeps Benoit in trouble and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up with another German suplex and an enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Booker. The Book End gets two on Nitro with Mercury making the save so Benoit Crossfaces Nitro on the floor as well. Melina breaks up the ax kick so Sharmell starts the catfight, only to have Jillian spear her down. The distraction lets Mercury grab a rollup with ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. The Jillian discussions from Tazz sound like they’re written by a ten year old and they’re getting even worse. It’s a joke that might work once but they’re beating it so far into the ground that it loses whatever impact it might have. MNM getting the next title shot (not official but more than likely) makes the most sense as it’s not like there is a division to speak of at the moment.

Raw Rebound.

Long makes Christian vs. Mysterio for the main event.

We look back at Randy Orton costing Undertaker the #1 contendership last week.

Orton promises to make his intentions clear tonight.

Here’s Long to introduce the contract signing for the World Title match. Batista and JBL come out with the latter saying he’s going to get the title back because he’s the wrestling god. Batista says that’s a wrestling fraud, because JBL keeps taking the easy way out. Long gets them both to sit down for the signing with Batista signing in a hurry. JBL laughs at him for signing without filling in a stipulation. Batista says pick what you want so JBL throws out a bunch of goofy ones before picking No Holds Barred. JBL signs and the match is set.

Animal gives Heidenreich face painting permission.

Summerslam rundown.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Josh Daniels/Damien Adams

Non-title and Heidenreich now has face paint. Adams’ chops have no effect so it’s the swinging Boss Man Slam and the Doomsday Device for the easy pin.

Here’s Randy Orton for his big explanation. Wrestlemania was supposed to be his night when he beat the Undertaker and killed the ultimate legend. Then fate intervened and stopped him, but last week fate intervened again to stop Undertaker from becoming #1 contender. Now, Orton needs to beat the Undertaker because the Undertaker is a legend in WWE.

Undertaker took away his chance at immortality at Wrestlemania so Orton will take away everything he can from Undertaker, including his chance to be World Champion. Orton’s legacy was formed by every veteran that he dropped with an RKO and by becoming the youngest World Champion last year at Summerslam. Therefore, at this year’s Summerslam, he’ll get what he needs when he beats Undertaker. Orton demands an answer right now and then panics when the gong strikes (that never gets old). Undertaker’s voice comes on and says Orton will rest in peace at Summerslam, with RIP appearing on the Titantron.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

An unidentified woman with an envelope arrives to see Eddie. We get some flirting and Eddie promises things will get hotter in the arena.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey slugs away to start and hits the slingshot dive to the floor. They get inside for the opening bell and Christian sends him hard into the corner to take over. Rey is back with a kick to the face and some right hands as he’s being more brawlerish here. The springboard seated senton gets two as Eddie and the woman come to the stage.

Back from a break with Christian hammering away and then choking on the ropes. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two on Rey and we hit the abdominal stretch. Christian drops some headbutts to the ribs for a change of pace and it’s off to a waistlock. Rey gets dropped ribs first across the top rope and a knee puts him on the floor, much to Eddie’s delight.

A quick throat snap across the top gives Rey a breather but Christian dropkicks him out of the air to put him right back down. Now it’s the seated abdominal stretch as you can’t question Christian’s focus. Christian keeps mixing things up (well done) with a bearhug but Rey slips out and snaps off a hurricanrana for two. We take a break and come back with Rey hitting a DDT for a delayed two more. Rey is right back up with the 619 into Dropping The Dime for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. The back work went on for a good while but it wasn’t bad or anything. Rey’s comeback seemed to mainly take place during the break so it was a little lackluster, but Rey can get sympathy like few others in history. Christian continues to be stuck in the blocks on Smackdown, even though he still feels like a star ready to break out.

Post match Rey wants Eddie to come to the ring but Eddie calls that rude. Instead he introduces the woman as Anna, and asks her to take the Bedtime Stories book to Rey. Either Rey can read Chapter Two or Eddie will do it for him. Rey can’t do it so Eddie says Chapter Two is custody papers.

A court has said that Dominick belongs to Eddie so next week, Rey is bringing him to Eddie. Or maybe not if Rey is nice enough about it though. Rey talks about how he and his wife have raised Dominick and the first word Dominick said was dad. He taught Dominick to ride a bicycle and he took Dominick to the hospital when he broke his arm. They were going to tell Dominick the truth about Eddie but Eddie had to do everything on his own and ruin Dominick’s life.

Rey asks Eddie man to man to not hurt Dominick any more. He even drops to a knee but Eddie says that Anna is his attorney. She just reminded Eddie that Eddie is the real father and he’d never lie to his kids. Dominick is the son that Eddie has longed for and he’ll carry out the Guerrero legacy. Next week, Dominick is Eddie’s son so all Rey has to do is stay tuned for Chapter Three: Dominick Comes Home To His Papi. Cole doesn’t seem all that upset or stunned to end the show. This was rather long, but it’s now getting into that ridiculous territory and that’s a strange place to be given the material of the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was mostly fine here, but some of the angles didn’t do much for me. The Eddie vs. Rey stuff continues, but it’s getting to the point of uncomfortable and there is a good chance that we’re going to get into ridiculous. Orton vs. Undertaker II should be good and JBL vs. Batista….well someone has to fight for the title. Summerslam is going to need someone to step up big because I’m not sure if Hogan vs. Michaels is going to be able to carry it. Maybe they’ll surprise us, but they are going to have their work cut out for them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 28, 2005
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With the Great American Bash out of the way, the only thing left to do is head towards Summerslam. Raw is already out in front though, meaning Smackdown will need to start adding in some matches sooner rather than later. They still have a lot of time to do so and a lot of that can start here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Theodore Long in the ring to thank us for watching the Great American Bash. I didn’t know Long was into torture. He recaps some of the bigger events from the show, including the Undertaker becoming the new #1 contender. Therefore, at Summerslam, it will be….something that is cut off by JBL. He isn’t happy because Long is forgetting the main event of the Great American Bash where he defeated Batista.

JBL did everything he promised to do but Batista getting himself disqualified prevented him from becoming World Champion. Therefore, Long needs to name him #1 contender again. Long agrees, but the title match isn’t coming at Summerslam. Hang on though as there was a clause in the contract saying that if JBL won, which he did, he would get the first shot at Batista. Long doesn’t like the threats of lawsuits so tonight it’s JBL vs. Undertaker for the Summerslam title shot. Better than a triple threat at least.

Christian/Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Combination of two Bash matches and Jordan’s shoulder is taped up. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being knocked out to the floor in short order. Booker throws Jordan back inside and Christian has to break up a Crossface attempt. We settle down to Benoit chopping the other Canadian and then grabbing a headlock takeover.

Back up and more chops have Christian rocked so Jordan grabs the boot to bring Benoit down. Jordan comes in for an elbow to the face and a Christian distraction lets Jordan go to work on the turnbuckle pad. The Anaconda Vice has Benoit in more trouble and Christian’s neckbreaker gets two. A chinlock keeps Benoit in trouble until he suplexes his way to freedom and brings in Booker.

The Book End gets two on Christian with Jordan making the save, earning himself a knock to the floor. Back from a break with Booker getting two on Christian and hitting some chops. After ignoring a Benoit tag request, Booker hits the spinebuster and Spinaroonis up. Jordan comes back in for a rake to the eyes so Christian can get two off a reverse DDT.

We hit another chinlock but Christian dives into a kick to the face for the double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit to snap off the suplexes, including sending Jordan onto Christian. A bunch of German suplexes put the villains down again and it’s the Swan Dive to Jordan’s bad shoulder for two. The Crossface makes Jordan tap.

Rating: C+. The ending is what mattered here as it gives us a reason to set up Benoit vs. Jordan in a rematch where Benoit should certainly win the title. Other than that we have Christian vs. Booker continuing, though I’m not sure how much more of that needs to take place. The match was a rather nice formula tag and didn’t feel as long as it was, which is always a plus.

Heidenreich isn’t sure if he can be the next Hawk but Animal says be yourself. He then gives him a haircut to look more like Hawk.

Video on Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio from Sunday.

Heidenreich/Animal vs. Chris Hamrick/Chuck Sealy

Non-title, Heidenreich has Hawk’s haircut and it’s Doomsday Device for the pin in about thirty seconds.

MNM want their titles back but Melina say they need to worry about putting a positive spin on things. They have a new publicist and are going to be on the cover of next month’s Smackdown Magazine. For now though, they need to have a fixer, who fixes things. They’ll meet her later tonight. That would be the debuting Jillian Hall, who announces Melina vs. Torrie II with Jillian there to counter Candice Michelle. Oh and Jillian has huge and disgusting growth on her face. After the women leave, Mercury: “Would you?”

Rey Mysterio is in the back with Dominick, who asks what the big secret was. Rey will tell him when he’s older.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Here are Mysterio and Dominick for a chat. Rey thanks us for the support but here’s Eddie, carrying a book. Rey says this is over and tells Eddie to stay away from his son. Eddie: “Don’t worry Rey. I’m not going to get anywhere near your son.” Eddie insists that he never loses because he’s the law. Yes he agreed to be quiet if he lost at the Great American Bash….but he lied. Now he feels like telling a bedtime story so Rey goes after him, so Eddie is smart enough to drop the bombshell in a hurry: he’s Dominick’s real father. Eddie: “I’m your papi.”

Dominick asks Rey if it’s true and Rey has to admit that it is, sending Dominick running through the crowd. Rey goes after him so Eddie gets in the ring to say the people here don’t smell so good. Now he sits down in a chair and asks for the lights to be dimmed because it’s time for Eddie’s Bedtime Stories. There was a time when Eddie and his wife were separated and Eddie had an affair. Then the woman came to Eddie to tell him that she was pregnant (with her eighth child).

At the same time though, Rey and his wife couldn’t have a child so Eddie had an idea. Instead of being the father, he became Uncle Eddie, even though there were never any official adoption papers. Eddie says that’s a big weight off his shoulders, but just wait until next week’s chapter two. This story just took a hard turn and it is now a lot more uncomfortable than intriguing. Maybe it’s having Dominick there in person or that the feud has been going too long, but this new part isn’t working.

Cole and Tazz do their serious voices, but the show must go on so here’s what’s next.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Jillian (with growth) and Candice at ringside. As Tazz talks about the growth on Jillian’s face (Cole: “ENOUGH WITH THE PUS!”), Melina chokes in the corner and on the mat to start. Torrie gets two off a rollup but Melina hammers away with forearms. We hit the neck crank and get a closeup on the growth because YOU MIGHT NOT GET THE JOKE OTHERWISE. Torrie fights out but gets ax handled in the back. Melina goes to the middle rope for the dive into the boot spot but Torrie can’t get her leg up in time, meaning it hits slightly raised knees instead. Not that it matters as Melina grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was terrible, but the point here was introducing Jillian and the big joke about her. I get the idea of not having just another good looking blonde out there but they couldn’t think of ANYTHING else? This year, we’ve seen OVW talents with a gimmick of a stutter and a growth on her face, among other bad ideas. Just….come on already people.

Post match, Jillian lays Torrie out.

The Mexicools are in the backstage concessions area and apparently are supposed to be selling them tonight. The boss says get to work and leaves, but the Mexicools think it’s a good idea.

Summerslam is coming. This includes the Divas in a swimsuit car wash.

William Regal vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Hold on as here are the Mexicools with the concessions for a segment that would get WWE thrown into a fire these days. The referee gets a drink thrown on him, followed by a beatdown for Scotty and Regal. Popcorn and nachos are included. I’m almost scared to know who came up with this idea.

Raw Rebound.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

The winner gets Batista at Summerslam and Jordan is at ringside. Joined in progress after a break with Undertaker shouldering JBL (and his bad ribs) down. Undertaker hammers away at the ribs in the corner and a big boot gets two. More shots to the ribs let Undertaker knock him to the floor, followed by a ram into the barricade. There’s the apron legdrop for two more but JBL finally gets in a shot of his own and hammers away in the corner. The ribs are fine enough for a slam and JBL goes up, only to get superplexed right back down for two more.

Back from a break with Undertaker bouncing off the announcers’ table as Cole freaks out over Jordan’s cheating during the commercial. Undertaker fights back up without much effort and the Downward Spiral gets another near fall. JBL gets in a low blow for two, only to have Undertaker come back with the jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the legdrop gets two but the referee gets bumped.

Undertaker deals with the invading Jordan by kicking a chair into his face. That lets JBL get in the big boot and a chair to the head for two, with the kickout sending JBL into a panic. There’s a chokeslam to JBL and a right hand to Jordan, the latter of which sends the referee outside. The Tombstone connects but it’s Randy Orton running in with the RKO to give JBL the cheating pin.

Rating: D+. They went into this with an actual doubt of how it was going to go and while the idea that I have to watch JBL vs. Batista again makes my head hurt, I do like Undertaker vs. Orton II. The match was the usual slow Undertaker vs. JBL fight but that’s really all you can expect from JBL at this point.

Overall Rating: D+. There are times where I look at this show in awe. I’m not sure how WWE comes up with all of these bad ideas but they just keep piling on over and over again. Maybe they need some time after all of the new names showing up but egads man, it shouldn’t be this hard. Just stop doing stupid stuff and it should be a better show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6