This is the second ever three hour PPV from TNA so don’t expect much in the way of groundbreaking stuff. That being said, the main event is one of the most famous as well as scariest moments ever in TNA. Also to the best of my knowledge, this is Randy Savage’s last wrestling match ever. Let’s get to it.

Oh and I forgot: this is the DUMB angle where TNA sent guys to a WWE show with a bunch of gifts and filmed the WWE wrestlers talking and chatting with TNA guys. For some reason, this is SCANDALOUS and we see the tape tonight.

The opening video is about the six man main event with Hardy/Styles/Savage saying they love the business and the Kings of Wrestling (Hall/Nash/Jarrett) in Elvis suits saying it’s about them. This goes on way too long and has way too many Elvis jokes.

Vince and HHH impersonators say they’ll never allow the tape to air. Abyss comes up with balloons and Fake HHH runs from him. This could be a really long night.

Tag Titles: Ron Killings/BG James vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

3 Live Kru are the champions. They won the titles from the Canadians a month ago, making this a rematch. Young and BG get things going with Young being rammed into all of the buckles. Young tries to steal BG’s gyrating punches so the Kru hits their version of What’s Up. Here’s Roode to face Truth. Truth is a replacement for Konnan who is injured so this is under the Freebird Rule.

Truth hits his usual not-WWE stuff and gets two off a spinning kick. The Canadians double team Truth with a double backbreaker for two. They take over with Roode bringing Young back in. Young stomps on Truth in the corner but Truth won’t even sell it at all. He pulls himself up and hits a missile dropkick. No tag as it’s back to Roode. They try their own What’s Up but Truth escapes and makes the tag.

James knocks Roode to the outside and punches Young down. Roode comes back in and James gets two on him off a forearm. Young goes up but Truth hits the ax kick. Roode hits his spinebuster on James for a VERY close two. Roode sets for maybe a spear but the Kru hits a Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clothesline. James loads up the pumphandle but Johnny Devine runs in and hits James in the back with a hockey stick so the Canadians can get the titles.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it was ok enough for an opener. It wasn’t particularly good and I didn’t care who won by the end. That’s a running problem for this era of TNA: the matches and feuds aren’t really compelling as they’re trying desperately to keep a show on and fill in three hours. There’s some ok stuff in here though so it’s certainly not a failure or anything.

Shane Douglas talks to the Director of Authority (GM/boss) Dusty Rhodes. Dusty says this is a huge night and that the Kings of Wrestling will get what’s coming to them. The fans are talking on the internet about Cookie Gate. Yeah it’s about the tape again.

We recap the X-Division 6 man. This involves Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka for some reason. Apparently Kash has been saying that Jimmy’s dive off the cage meant nothing while Sonjay’s team says don’t diss the Superfly. I’ve heard far worse reasons to have a feud.

Matt Bentley/Kazarian/Kid Kash vs. Sonny Siaki/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza

The beard doesn’t work on Kaz at all. Sonjay and Kash start us off with some mat wrestling. Hector comes in and it’s Bentley punching him. Garza was a guy that was supposed to get a big push in TNA, even pinning Scott Hall if I remember. Siaki vs. Kaz now as things speed up. Siaki and Sonjay team up for an assisted rana to Kaz. Traci distracts Sonjay so Kaz can hit a one armed DDT to give us our face in peril.

The heels work over Sonjay, mainly focusing on the arm. They do the whole lack of tag thing to bring Bentley in to crank on the arm even more. There’s a Stunner to the arm and the heels work on Dutt’s arm even more. They tag in and out and all take some shots at it. Kash sets for a hammerlock slam but rams the arm into the buckle instead. Dutt tries to fire back with right hands but Bentley takes him down by the arm.

Dutt is pulled back to the corner and Kaz comes in again and more arm work follows. Do any of them know a match ending arm submission? Dutt is sent to the ropes and manages to hit a miracle springboard rana and it’s hot tag to Garza. Garza hits a high moonsault on Kaz and everything breaks down. Garza backdrops Dutt 360 degrees over the top to the floor. Traci’s interference backfires and Garza gets the pin on Bentley with a corkscrew moonsault.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun tag match here with more of a classic story than a spotfest. That’s very nice for a change of pace and it worked well here. Dutt did well selling the arm and Garza looked like a big deal. Then he got busted for steroids (which to be fair were legal in Mexico) and hasn’t really appeared in America since.

Savage talks to Scott Hudson (seriously?) and says nothing of note.

Coach D’Amore says Petey will keep the title.

Video on the Serengeti Survival Match, which means hardcore I think. Monty Brown beat Abyss in a Monster’s Ball Match and then got a world title shot on Impact. Abyss jumped him before the match and the injuries cost him the title. There’s a focus on thumbtacks in this.

Monty Brown vs. Abyss

Abyss is the monster heel here and Brown has bad ribs. Brown wants to start it on the ramp and here we go. You can win by pin, submission or slamming the other person into tacks. Abyss rams him into the apron to work on the back. He pulls off the tape early on and Brown is in trouble. Abyss gets a table set up quickly and the fans want fire. Greedy freaks.

The table is set up in the corner and Abyss grabs a bag. The fans still want fire. Brown comes back with a clothesline and right hands. We’re in trouble now as Brown has used up about 50% of his offense in the first three minutes. Big boot gets two for Abyss. West calls Abyss cunning and very smart. And people wonder why he’s not announcing anymore. Abyss brings in a chair and hits him in the injured ribs with it. Why don’t heels ever have injured ribs? When you turn face do you sacrifice the strength in your ribs?

The chair is placed on Brown’s ribs and Abyss hits an Earthquake onto the chair for two. The fans chant to use the table. All Abyss at this point as he pounds on the ribs. The fans continue to get on my nerves by chanting various annoying things. Abyss sets for another Earthquake but Brown moves the chair to crotch Abyss. A chair to the head puts Abyss down and Brown hits a British Bulldog powerslam onto the chair.

The Pounce is countered into the Black Hole Slam for a delayed two. That’s not a move you often see kicked out of. Abyss wedges a chair between the turnbuckles and of course is rammed into it. The Pounce hits but it knocks Abyss to the floor. The delay results in it only getting a two count. Brown tries another Pounce but Abyss ducks, sending Brown head first into the table for two. Both guys get bags of tacks and OH SWEET MERCIFUL GOODNESS BROWN RIPS ABYSS’ SHIRT OFF!!! THEY’RE JIGGLING!!! Brown hits an Alabama Slam into the tacks and I need to go see a doctor.

Rating: C+. This was a fine lesson in hardcore wrestling. Here’s the idea: if the match is about the guys and the weapons are props, the match is usually better. When the match is about the weapons and the guys are props, the match is usually worse. This was about Abyss vs. Brown and the tacks and other stuff were there too, making for a much more entertaining match.

HHH and Vince break any tape they find, including Best of D-Ray 3000.

Mike and Don run down the rest of the card.

Pat Kenney/Johnny B. Badd vs. Glen Gilbertti/Johnny Swinger

Gilbertti and Swinger are known as the New York Connection. Great: Jacqueline is the referee. Kenney is kind of famous as Simon Diamond from ECW. He and Swinger were a tag team in ECW so there’s history there. There’s no story here that I can find so we’re in filler territory. Kenney and Swinger start as the fans chant Simon Diamond. Simon (screw it) fights off both of the NYC until Gilbertti is sent outside.

Off to Badd who looks really weird with short hair. The NYC double teams Simon to take over. Badd seems content to chill on the apron. It’s not a heel move or anything. He just doesn’t seem to care. Jackie breaks up some double teaming and Swinger gets two off a clothesline. They work on Simon’s back which was injured in the match somewhere. Simon hits a sitout spinebuster on Swinger which allows the tag to Badd. Both heels get knee lfits TKO to Glenn is broken up by Swinger. Gilbertti shoves Jackie and Stuns Badd but Jackie gets involved (of course) and slams Gilbertti. TKO by Badd ends this.

Rating: D. Imagine that: Jackie messes up a match. To be fair though the match was boring, mainly because there was no real story to this. The NYC were one of the leftovers from the older run of the company so they were brought along for about five minutes. This was nothing of note though and was pretty bad. To be fair though, it was just there to bridge us to the second half of the show.

The Kings of Wrestling (who have no relation to Hero and Castagnoli if you’re curious) put Savage (we couldn’t see him) into a car and send it off, presumably making it a handicap match later.

Recap of Raven vs. DDP. Raven wants to be world champion so DDP came in and hit him with Diamond Cutters to come out of retirement. Erik Watts is in this somehow too but his black hole of caring keeps me from looking up why.

Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Watts sits in on commentary. That’s fine as long as he doesn’t wrestle. Page’s music is a complete ripoff of his WCW song. Page claims Raven has been living somewhere rent free so tonight Page is collecting. Ok then. Discus lariat puts Raven down. Page baseball slides Raven to the floor and they head into the crowd. This is Raven’s Rules apparently.

Page hits him with a trashcan and we head back to ringside. We had a ref bump in there somewhere so a replacement came out. Page tries the Cutter but Raven grabs the rope. He puts on some weird helmet he brought with him and rams it into Page almost like Juggernaut. Raven has a chair brought in and then facewashes DDP in the corner. Drop toehold onto the chair gets two.

Page gets up like it’s nothing and hammers away on Raven. Another discus clothesline sets up a regular clothesline but the Cutter is countered by a low blow. Rollup gets two. Another rollup gets two and we’ve got blood. A horrible bulldog gets two for Raven. Page belly to bellies him for two. Raven superkicks him down for two. There’s no flow to this at all as it’s more of a spotfest than the X match earlier.

Diamond Cutter only gets two and we’ve got druids. DDT kills Page but it only gets two. Raven calls in the druids but Watts comes in to stop them. Both get chokeslams and the druid is revealed to be wearing khaki shorts. Watts turns on Page and clotheslines him down. Cutter to Watts, Cutter to Raven, pin.

Rating: D. Bad match for the most part because these two don’t bother selling anything. And why should they? Raven didn’t have to in ECW because he hardly ever lost and Page didn’t have to because he was over 40 in WCW. The match was really boring as a result and I don’t think anyone cares. Watts’ turn didn’t mean anything either.

Vince and HHH complain about the lack of food. Traci comes in with milk and cookies and Vince yells at her, saying bring him Dusty.

We recap the X Title match. Sabin won an Ultimate X match and has countered the Destroyer a few times to get in Petey’s head.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

They trade counters to start and the fans are split. Cradle Shock is countered and Petey is freaked out. They mess up a leapfrog and Petey hits his leg on Chris’ head. Standoff as Petey is getting frustrated. Springboard dropkick sends Petey to the outside again and he almost jumps into the Cradle Shock again. They head to the floor and Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana from the ring to the floor.

Sabin one ups that and release powerbombs Williams into the barricade. Then he heads into the crowd and dives over about three rows of fans to clothesline Petey. Sweet sequence! Petey gets in a shot though and D’Amore chokes Sabin while Petey has the referee. Back inside and Petey does the O Canada bit as he stands on Sabin’s crotch.

Standing tornado DDT gets two as well. Tenay rants about D’Amore as he’s known to do. Petey hits a few suplexes for two. He’s trying to prove that he’s not a one move wonder. The fans are still split. I think the guys are a bit tired as the match has slowed down a good bit. Petey goes up so Sabin runs the corner like Angle to suplex Williams down. So much for things slowing down I guess.

They slug it out and neither guy can do much. Other than the spinning enziguri by Sabin followed by the running powerbomb for two. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls up to avoid a suicide dive, then hits a BIG plancha to take Williams out. This is REALLY good. Petey flips into a Russian legsweep for two. Destroyer is countered into the Cradle Shock which is countered by Petey into a Sharpshooter!

Sabin gets the rope and they go to the corner. Chris sets for what looks like a superplex but Petey tries a sunset bomb to counter. Sabin counters that and flips Petey backwards so that Petey’s face slams into the mat. That gets rolled through after the contact into a piledriver by Sabin for a VERY close two. Sabin tries the Cradle Shock but D’Amore gets on the apron. That lets Williams get brass knuckles to hit Sabin with for the pin to retain. That ending BLOWS after the match they were having!

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME as they were countering everything and kept the pace going for at least eighty percent of the match. The ending is horrible though as they built up the match forever and then just stop it dead with a cheap ending. This got the crowd going strong for the two main events though and that’s why these guys are out there. Excellent match and if you give it a better ending it’s a classic.

A midget (Demo from Micro Championship Wrestling) beats up Vince for no apparent reason.

Recap of the Kings of Wrestling vs. Hardy/Styles/Savage. The Kings say they’re taking over and that’s about it. The other three guys say they’re fighting for TNA.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

Vince is loaded into an ambulance as HHH doesn’t know what to do without him.

Video on Final Resolution. I remember this video actually.

Here’s the tape that has been talked about all night. Shane Douglash, Traci (with cookies) and Abyss (with balloons) go to see…a bunch of blurry objects. Roadie and Ron Killings are there too. They steal some catering and the only body I recognize is I think Eddie Guerrero. Seriously you can’t see ANYTHING and they don’t say any names. These could be TNA dudes for all we know. That was it? Seriously? WE SPENT TWO AND A HALF HOURS BUILDING TO THAT??? Ok to be fair this was when TNA was nothing so it’s a bigger deal I guess. Rey was there too apparently but you couldn’t see him at all.

We recap XXX vs. AMW. This was the big tag feud in TNA as they’ve fought dozens of times but there hasn’t been a distinct winner to the whole thing. They’ve had cage matches before but they were in the four sided cage. AMW hit an awesome Death Sentence from the top of the cage to win that one. Now they’re having another cage match and the losing team has to split up forever.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X

This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.

They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.

Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.

XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.

I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.

Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!

Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.

Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here, but considering this is their second three hour PPV ever, this was incredible. Things slowed down a bit after this when it became about DDP and Nash and Jarrett, but they would pick it right back up with Lockdown in a few months. Very good show although it’s kind of hard to find. Check out the main event for sure though.

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We’ve got two more shows before Final Resolution and the card is starting to come together. It feels like a filler PPV until we get to something a lot bigger. The interesting thing will be if Storm is allowed to wrestle again as he’s really getting hurt by being injured as the mini-feud with Roode he had made him the real star out of the whole thing. But it’s a concussion so it’s hard to say when he’ll be better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Roode’s family talking about how he’s pretty much abandoned them and it’s all about him anymore. Cool idea given how he was pushed as this family man when he was going for the title.

Sting opens the show and says everyone is trying to run this place. Right now, he’s going to deal with Bobby Roode, so get on out here. Roode says let’s get this over with. Sting talks about how Roode has done all this stuff and jumped Styles and Hardy to end the show. Roode calls it great TV and says Sting is welcome for what he’s done recently. Sting says he runs the place and it’s run his way. For every bad thing Roode does, there’s a consequence, which starts right now.

Cue AJ and Roode says Sting is fighting AJ’s battles now. Sting also brings out Hardy who asks why Roode doesn’t respect Sting’s authority. Sting says screw you Bobby and makes it a three way match for the main event tonight.

The Knockouts are in robes while Karen yells. She gets in Velvet’s face and yells about disrespect and all that jazz. Tonight they’re going to wash six cars and then the rest of them. Oh and they’ll be in swimsuits. Madison gladly disrobes and looks pretty good underneath it.

Jeff Hardy says he and AJ are about to go talk strategy. Jarrett comes up and takes his jacket off. He wants to know why Hardy thinks he belongs here. Hardy says this is his last shot. Jarrett throws his jacket in Hardy’s face and beats him down. Here’s your backstage brawl of the week.

Bischoff meets with Ray in the back because they don’t have an office anymore. Eric wants Ray to wait before killing his kid. Yeah brilliant there dude. Instead, let’s get rid of Abyss. Ray put him through a table and it did nothing so Eric suggests talking to him. Ray thinks he’s nuts (both Eric and Abyss) so he’ll get Scott Steiner to help talk. Oh geez.

The Knockouts are in bikinis and washing cars and Tara is forced to disrobe. ODB gets a street fight with Mickie James for some reason. If she hurts Mickie she’s the new #1 contender.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Winners are #1 contenders. D-Von and Pope clear the ring until we get down to Pope vs. Anarquia with the street preacher taking over. The Mexicans finally take over until it’s a hot tag to D-Von. There’s nothing interesting going on here. I still want to know why they think pushing D-Von is a good thing. Neal tags himself in, spears Hernandez but walks into a spinebuster from D-Von for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. The tag division is such a joke anymore without any solid teams in there. It’s like the tag champions and the #1 contenders are just slapped together with no real rhyme or reason. This isn’t going to be much of a match and does anyone buy that these guys are going to get the titles?

Here’s Austin Aries to talk a bit. He says he has a problem as the greatest man that ever lived. His plan was to revitalize the division and bring in some greatness, but his greatness is so far ahead of everyone else. It’s time to call this the A Double division. No one can hold a candle to him so….oh dang it here’s Kid Kash.

He talks about Turning Point and how Aries screwed him over after Kash took out Sorensen for him. It’s an old vs. new argument and Aries says he’s champion. Kash says he held it before. Aries says shake my hand and you have a shot. They shake hands and punch each other at the same time. I think that’s supposed to be a face turn for Kash.

Gunner goes to find Garrett Bischoff at a gym.

AJ says he’ll win tonight.

Gunner tries to find Garrett Bischoff but finds someone else who he beats up. No one else seems to care. He keeps looking and annoys someone else. Gunner beats up two more people and then the original guy comes back. There’s a clothesline for him and then he chokes the guy down. He hurts a guy’s arm and tried to be menacing, saying he’s coming for Garrett.

Sting yells at Jarrett, telling him to stay out of the main event tonight. Jarrett says Sting has no room to talk because he was in the match with Hardy at Victory Road. Sting says there will be consequences if Jarrett interferes. Jarrett says he might be willing to pay that consequence.

More parenting stuff from Roode’s “wife”.

The Knockouts are still washing cars. Taz’s car is in line for later and a bus or something like that comes up.

Steiner is lifting weights when Ray comes up to talk about Abyss. CAN WE HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH ALREADY??? Steiner suggests offering a freak to Abyss to get him to join their team again.

Mickie James vs. ODB

Street fight. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start and they roll towards the ring. Street fights mean falls count anywhere here I guess. Mickie’s rana is countered into a powerbomb. They go into the crowd and Mickie fights back in front of a handicap ramp. ODB hits her with a lot of metal stuff and Mickie looks a bit dead. We do the odd hardcore match thing where people insist on walking around.

She walks around even more until Mickie gets in a chop. Gee, I wonder if the minute long walk had anything to do with her getting a second wind. Back to the ring and Mickie starts her comeback. ODB breaks up the jumping DDT and gets a chair. Like any idiot, she holds it in front of her face to allow Mickie to kick the chair into her face for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Well that was pretty dull. I have no idea why they went walking around like that but I never get that in any wrestling match with hardcore rules. ODB continues to look like an idiot and the girls are still better than the Divas, but they’re still nothing to blow my skirt up. The weak show continues.

Storm (at home) says he’s still out with a concussion. Angle interrupts and asks Storm how it felt to have his head bashed in and how his daughter reacted to it. Angle blames Storm for losing the title so Angle says be here next week to confirm a match at Final Resolution. Storm says it’ll be a beating, not a match.

Some chicks are in the back and looking for Abyss.

We see the long version of Roode’s family complaining. Roode says he got them a bunch of stuff with the money so if he’s a user, so are they.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Why do I have a feeling the obvious ending isn’t the one that is going to happen? RVD dominates to start and sends Robbie to the floor quickly. Big Rob gets in a shot to take over and Robbie pounds away a bit. Back to the floor and here’s Eric Young in underwear with a fire extinguisher. RVD gets a kick to the face and hits the Five Star but Eric has the referee. Daniels runs in and hits Angel’s Wings on RVD so Robbie can get the pin at 4:02.

Rating: Rob. What else do you want me to call it? This was about as predictable as you could want it to be, which isn’t saying much. The match wasn’t the point here obviously and the idea was to have Daniels run in and Young to be all wacky because that’s all he knows how to do.

Steiner’s girls are all messed up after meeting Abyss.

The Knockouts get in a fight with the water and soap. Karen comes in with garden hoses and sprays them all down.

Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

This has over twenty minutes to go so maybe it’ll be good. This is non-title of course. Roode immediately hits the floor and we get our first contact about a minute in with both guys beating on Roode. He gets ping-ponged between the two of them and then clotheslined to the floor. Time for the face showdown….or not. Instead they get in a mini argument over who gets to dive to the floor. Hardy hits a baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Roode hitting a belly to back suplex for one as Hardy makes the save. AJ gets his eyes raked and accidentally hits Hardy, giving us the showdown we’ve been waiting for. AJ hits his drop down into a dropkick sequence but Hardy takes over and gets two of his own. Roode comes back in and beats both guys down before focusing on Hardy. Spinebuster gets two.

AJ pops back up with the springboard forearm and backflip into the reverse DDT on Roode. Roode takes over again and hits a fisherman’s suplex on AJ which Hardy breaks up. Twist of Fate to Roode and he loads up the Swanton, but here’s Jarrett to crotch him. Roode covers Hardy for the easy pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. Pretty ok match here but at the end of the day, so what? This is more about pushing Jeff vs. Jeff again and that’s not exactly something interesting. Not a bad match at all but I’ve never been a fan of three ways, which isn’t helping things here. At least it sets up a match at Final Resolution, which we’ll get to now.

Sting comes out and makes Jeff vs. Jeff in a cage at the PPV. If Jarrett escapes first, Hardy is gone. If Hardy escapes first, he gets the title shot at Genesis. Karen comes out to yell so she’ll be handcuffed to Sting during the match.

Overall Rating: D+. The biggest problem with this show is that the pacing problems were back. There were five minutes of wrestling in the first hour and for what? So we could have segments about Gunner, Garrett Bischoff, and the Knockouts in swimsuits? That’s what we’re focusing on now? This was a backstage heavy show and that’s really not all that interesting. Also, you don’t need to have Roode’s family pop in all through the show if you’re going to show a full version of it later on. Not a bad show, but pretty boring overall.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. Mexican America and Ink Inc – Spinebuster to Neal
Mickie James b. ODB – Spinning kick to the face
Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after Angel’s Wings
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy – Pinned Hardy after Jeff Jarrett interfered

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Date: November 28, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Ethan Carter III vs. Curry Man

A clothesline and a suplex get two for Carter but Curry Man comes back with some forearms and dodges a splash. The jobber comeback is short lived though as he goes to the top and gets punched in the jaw, allowing Carter to slam him down. The One Percenter is good for the pin on Curry Man at 3:37.

Carter does his catchphrase post match.

We look back at Gunner costing Storm the match last week by throwing in the towel.

Video on the Turkey Bowl, a match where the loser wears a turkey suit.

Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum vs. Bro Mans

This is the Turkey Bowl match with Turkey Bowl bosses ODB and Eric Young at ringside. The Bro Mans now have DJ Zema Ion introducing them which is as good of a job for him as anything else. Robbie rants about how amazing the champions are as Zema does sound effects. The bell rings and the jobbers get rollups for two each, but a Hart Attack ends Barnes at 18 seconds.

Post match the losers are put in the turkey suits while Robbie makes turkey sounds and forces them to dance. The goons seem to enjoy it.

We get another video of AJ in Mexico, talking about what an honor it is to defend the title.

Dixie freaks out and gives AJ one week to give the title back or the legal options begin. What would wrestling be without a legal threat every week?

Roode with with his team: Chris Sabin and Bad Influence. Jokes are made but Roode wants them serious.

Spud hassles the caterer about the Thanksgiving feast tonight.

Angle and Magnus agree to team up tonight but beat each other up for a shot at the title next week.

Spud yells about food some more.

Team Angle vs. Team Roode

Bobby Roode, Chris Sabin, Bad Influence

Kurt Angle, Magnus, James Storm, Gunner

Elimination rules. The captains get things going with both submissions quickly being escaped, giving us a standoff. Bad Influence comes in at the same time so Angle clotheslines them down, sending Daniels to the floor. Off to Magnus for some forearms before he cranks on the arm for a bit. Storm comes in to pound on the legal Daniels before bringing Gunner in for a clothesline/Russian legsweep combo for two. Gunner is sent out to the floor where Kaz and Sabin get in some cheap shots and the heels take over.

The heels hit a series of legdrops on Angle with Sabin getting a two count. Angle grabs a quick cradle but Daniels has the referee to prevent a count. Kurt fights up and takes out as many bad guys as he can with clotheslines before suplexing Roode and Sabin out of their shoes. In a very impressive power and stamina display, Angle hits ELEVEN Rolling Germans on everyone not named Sabin, including one to Bad Influence at the same time.

Video on the final four in the tournament.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man – One Percenter

Bro Mans b. Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum – Hart Attack to Barnes

Team Roode b. Team Angle, last eliminating Angle via DQ when Angle used a chair

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It’s the major show of the year for TNA and I can’t say I’m as excited about it as I was for last year’s. It should be good though as we have two major main events. Now that’s part of the problem: one of them is Sting vs. Hogan. They couldn’t have a good match 14 years ago so what are you expecting from them here? Other than that the rest of the show looks pretty solid. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about exactly what you would expect: a highlight package with everything leading up to the double main event.

The dark match was the tag title match with Mexican America retaining. Well at least the title didn’t change hands on a dark match. To be fair it was streamed free on the website so anyone could see it.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

I’m not sure if I’d have gone with a rematch for Kendrick so soon after Aries too the title from him. They have the garage door style lifting wall for the guys to come through. The fans are way behind Aries here. The crowd looks good here. They fight over a wristlock to start as we get a good feel for the crowd here with the loud Austin Aries chant. Tazz talks about how this crowd isn’t like most and that’s an understatement.

Things speed up a bit as they hit the mat. Aries goes to the floor so Kendrick is like PORKCHOP and dives onto him in a huge spot. Back in Kendrick gets caught in an STO and Aries loads up the Pendulum Elbow which blows the roof off the place. Kendrick counters and hammers away but the fans are all over Brian since this is the ultimate smark town. This could become a problem tonight.

They try what looks to be a rollup but Kendrick falls to the floor. Aries hits a HUGE suicide dive to fire the crowd up even more if that’s possible. Back in Aries tries the brainbuster but Kendrick knees his way out of it. They go up on the ropes but Aries talks to the crowd too much and gets caught in a top rope Sliced Bread for two as Aries grabs the ropes. They head to the apron and Kendrick tries it out there again but gets dropped onto the apron and then the floor. That and the brainbuster in the ring gives Aries the clean pin at 10:27.

Rating: B-. Can’t complain much here band this was what I was expecting for the opener. You can’t ask for much more than a cruiserweight match to start things off, but I’m hoping the show stays hot throughout the rest of the match. The right idea is to have things like this for later on in the show when you need to fire the crowd back up, but in Philly I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Keep that in mind: all rules about crowds are thrown out the window tonight.

The Knockouts are with some kids in the back and Karen comes in and she’s not happy. Oh ok they’re Kurt’s kids. The kids leave and Karen freaks out as always. Karen is refereeing the Knockouts match tonight. That means Madison wins tonight. Traci has to stay in the ring unless Karen is in danger.

We recap RVD vs. Lynn which is over Jerry being jealous or something. It’s Full Metal Mayhem which means TLC with pins. Can’t argue with putting this match on in Philly.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Technical stuff to start but they’ve probably got a lot of time. There are only 8 minutes on this card and I can’t imagine that Hogan vs. Sting will break ten minutes. Rob takes over early and tries Rolling Thunder but Lynn pops up with a kick to the face. Tornado DDT is countered but the suplex is as well. The psychology here is solid and we hit a stalemate. They try a cross body over the top and that doesn’t work right, drawing half boos/half silence from the crowd.

We’re on the floor now and Van Dam tries a moonsault off the apron but misses and might have hurt his knee. Lynn brings in a ladder but Rob sends him in and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Jerry hits a baseball slide to send it into the face of Van Dam. Van Dam gets a spinning cross body onto Lynn onto the chair for two. The surfboard dropkick with the chair in the corner gets no cover. Rob does however get a ladder so the crowd is pleased.

The fans chant ECW and the ladder is splashed with Lynn under it for two. The fans never stay silent for long in this city. It’s something I wish you could hear in more cities too. Rob does a springboard moonsault over Lynn which appeared to be intentional. No idea what the point of that was other than to have Lynn hit him with the chair to take over. Lynn misses a senton backsplash onto the ladder and Van Dam takes over again.

Van Daminator misses so Lynn pelts the chair at him. Lynn gets a German for tow and Lynn is down more from it than Rob is. Lynn gets suplexed onto a ladder which is a lot more effective, so I guess American > Germany. Lionsault onto the ladder gets two for Rob. Rob tries one of his rolling moves but Jerry jumps off the middle rope and they collide at the same time. Lynn goes to the floor to get another ladder and I have the same question as Tazz: how many ladders do you need?

The second ladder is put up against the railing and Lynn tries a sunset bomb, resulting in Rob’s head slamming into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lynn has a big bump under his eye. Van Daminator gets two. Rob sets up the Van Terminator with a ladder over Lynn’s face and it’s enough for the pin at 13:16. So Lynn can get up from a Van Daminator after two seconds but he can’t move after about 30 seconds of sitting in the corner?

Rating: B. Good match but it’s going to be overrated because it’s Lynn vs. Van Dam. This was more about the weapons and the violence than the whole psychology which was the standard of their old matches. The fans were of course into it because these guys used to be huge in ECW like 10 years ago. It was entertaining though and that’s the point of these matches.

They hug afterwards, meaning I guess it’s cool to cost Van Dam a title shot. I guess he doesn’t seem to mind or whatever.

We recap the triple threat which is all about getting the world title shot or something. It’s the first I’ve heard of that but they’re talking about it which is the right idea. Joe went crazy and hurt Crimson once Joe was mathematically eliminated from the BFG Series so Morgan went after him for being a bully. Hence the triple threat.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

New music for Crimson. I’m not digging it. Joe tries to get both guys to fight each other but they beat him up instead. Joe is wearing red and blue tights while the others are both in white. Morgan’s continue to be way too small for him. Crimson hits the floor against his wishes and Joe takes down Morgan with ease. Crimson tries to steal a pin off a Morgan side slam but just gets one.

The non-Samoans are sent to the floor so Joe tries a huge suicide elbow. Morgan steps to the side so Crimson takes all of it. As Crimson gets up and brawls with Joe, Morgan goes up and dives onto Crimson from the top. Not a good few seconds for the red one there. Back in Crimson suplexes Joe and Morgan tries to steal the pin. We’re into the triple threat formula here and that’s all fine and good.

The non-Samoans slug it out and Morgan takes him down, only for Joe to trip him up and pull him to the floor. Crimson’s leg injury is fine by the way, despite him having it on Impact. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster on Crimson but Morgan comes in to break it up. I’ve never gotten that. Why wouldn’t he let Joe take Crimson out? Anyway Crimson sends Morgan to the floor and Crimson hits the spear on Joe for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: C. Not much here and this was something you could have seen on any Impact. To be fair though, there was no real heat on this match as it was all about pride or whatever. I mean, we have to have the TV Champion fighting Scott Baio in his underwear so we can’t have the TV out there. It’s TNA though so titles mean less and less all the time other than the world title. This was probably going to be the weakest match on the card and it was certainly watchable.

Ray says he needs no introduction and talks about himself anyway. He buries Philadelphia, talking about how he’s never liked it here and he’s used the idiot fans for years to get where he is. This was really needed because Ray would have been the crowd favorite otherwise.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson charges the ring and we start fast. Remember that this is a falls count anywhere match. Anderson tries to control early but Ray kicks his head off and puts Anderson down. Is there a reason why Anderson wears his shirt in his matches anymore? Ray chops him haRD in the corner (not good enough for all caps but decent) as Anderson’s hair is uh….weird. Anderson goes to the floor and takes a sign which has to be loaded. Yep there’s a metal sign in there and Ray goes down in a heap. Dead end sign and it goes over Ray’s head again.

They fight on the floor and a fan throws a beer on Ray. Anderson gets two on the floor and they go up the ramp. Anderson is infinately more entertaining when you let him stop wrestling. Ray reverses a suplex on the stage for two. Ray grabs the mic and talks about New York but Anderson beats him down and says this is Philadelphia. They head into the back and Ray hits a piledriver onto the concrete for two. Anderson gets choked with a red chair.

Back into the arena and they’re near the Spanish announce area. That has to be a copyrighted brawling area. Anderson takes part of the railing away and slides it into the ring but Ray beats him down and sets up a table. There’s another set up on the floor as well. Ray gets backdropped onto the railing and it’s bent.

Anderson goes up and misses the swanton onto the railing, allowing Ray to hit the Bubba Bomb (why is it not the Bully Bomb?) for two. I thought that was the ending. Anderson gets in a trashcan shot and loads Ray up onto the table on the floor. He goes up and channels his inner Jeff Hardy. There’s the huge Swanton BUT THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK! FREAKING OW MAN!!! A Mic Check onto the table finally ends this at 14:28.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was fun to watch. It wasn’t technically good or anything but if you’re expecting it to be you’re totally missing the point. This was a fun weapons match, although I kind of question having two of them on the same show like they did with Lynn and Van Dam. Decent match here and rather entertaining.

Bischoff is talking to a referee and says it’s a big night. It’s implied that the referee is in Immortal’s pocket. Eric says Hogan has to win and Sting has to be taken out for good. It’s revealed that Jackson James, the referee, is the son of Bischoff. This is treated as a shock by the announcers.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Karen is referee and Winter is champion. The crowd is WAY into Velvet. Winter is in a coat of some kind and Angelina is in a pink corset. Karen looks good in her referee stuff and Madison gives her the tiara. They have to tag here and it’s Winter vs. Mickie to start. Winter controls early but Mickie snaps off the slick rana in the corner and a neckbreaker puts Winter on the floor.

Madison comes in sans tag and tries to slap Mickie or throw something in her face but it doesn’t work. They’re playing up the Karen factor a lot here as the fix is in or something like that. Mickie goes to the floor and Velvet comes in. I guess it’s lucha tag rules. Velvet hits a bulldog but Karen ties her shoes instead of counting. Velvet and Mickie have to fight but shake hands first.

Both get rollups but Karen won’t count for either of them. The fans are all over this in a hurry. They slug it out for a bit with no real purpose because Karen isn’t going to count. Winter and Madison pull them to the floor and that’s a tag in a way I guess. Madison is in there finally and make that all four are in now. The good girls take over and the fans aren’t going to stick with this much longer.

Mickie vs. Winter at the moment but Mickie won’t cover because there’s no point to it. She beats Winter down but argues with Karen, allowing Angelina to give Winter blood. It gets loaded up but Mickie ducks, sending the blood into Karen’s eyes. I typed that before it happened. There’s the jumping DDT and here’s Traci. Things totally break down and Velvet hits the double underhook X Factor to win the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. They wanted Velvet winning to be a huge moment and it just wasn’t. There was so much going on here and most of it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before so this wasn’t much to see. Winter’s second reign was about as worthless as her first but at least there’s the title reign for Velvet which has taken forever to get to. Not the big moment they were looking for though.

Kaz doesn’t know who to cheer for in the I Quit match but he hopes Daniels sees the light after it’s over.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles #4895 which is about Daniels being way too excited about beating him on a fluke and turning heel on him, setting up an I Quit match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

It sounds like new music for both guys. AJ has another new remix. This is I Quit. There’s also no pyro for anyone tonight so far. The guys have the mic here and it’s a brawl to start. Daniels is asking if it’s over about 30 seconds in with a choke on AJ. AJ hooks a bridging Indian Deathlock and Daniels says no. We’re in that place in the match where they’re trying for fast submissions but no one believes it’s happening yet.

AJ hits his leapfrog/drop/dropkick spot and we head to the floor. AJ hits a flip dive and both guys are down. They find a tool box and Daniels tries to stab AJ with a screwdriver. The maiming attempt fails and they fight to the apron where they botch some kind of a suplex move. The screwdriver is stuck in the buckle. AJ has pink on his tights for breast cancer awareness month. Nothing wrong with that.

AJ still won’t quit so Daniels busts out the BME to AJ while he’s on his knees, making it more like Shadows Over Hell (Delirious move). Off to a half crab and of course AJ doesn’t quit. A spin kick is blocked and Daniels gets a backbreaker. There’s no eyeliner on Daniels either which is a weird look. He’s in tights instead of shorts too. It’s chair time and Chris sits down on it with the bar over AJ’s throat. Styles is bleeding over the top of the head, right around his hairline.

Daniels says everything AJ has in TNA will belong to him and he never wanted to hear AJ say I qu….”oh no I’m not saying it.” The fans chant for him to shut up and Daniels lets up for some reason. He looks into the camera and talks to Wendy (AJ’s wife) and says take the kids out of the room because they shouldn’t see their father murdered. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

AJ gets fired up and hits the backflip reverse DDT. Styles Clash fails and Daniels misses the BME. He shouts DIE AJ but runs into the Pele and the Clash. So….how does this make Daniels say he quits? AJ picks up the chair but grabs the screwdriver instead. And Daniels quits to avoid the pain ala JBL vs. Cena in 05. He quit at 13:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of these matches because the ending is either the heel giving up after being hurt for a few seconds or giving up before something big happening. I wasn’t into this and the fans weren’t really either. I think they were going for a big ending and emotional moment but it never got to the level they were hoping for.

As AJ is leaving, Daniels jumps him and plants him with Angel’s Wings on the ramp, meaning this is going to continue.

We recap the final two matches on the card but here’s Jeff Jarrett.

He yells about Jeff Hardy and says no one here wants anything to do with Hardy. The fans chant for Hardy as Jarrett buries the city. He calls out Hardy and here he is with new music. They brawl with Hardy only saying a few words and it’s a brawl. This isn’t a match. Security comes out to break it up but Hardy gets free for a bit as happens in most brawls. That happens with both guys more than once. The agents come in and we get a D’lo chant. Hardy is left in the ring and poses to his music.

We recap Hogan vs. Sting. I’m shocked this isn’t the main event. The recap covers like a year and a half which is all about Hogan stealing the company from Dixie and Sting trying to get the control back for Dixie because it’s her’s.

Now the announcers talk about the match and how big it is.

Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

This is a “fight” remember, so Hogan is in an Impact Wrestling shirt and black tights. Dixie Carter is in the audience. If Hogan loses, Sting and Dixie get control of the company. Sting is in his Hogan shirt again. Jackson James, Bischoff’s son, is the referee. Before anything of note happens, Hogan waves out someone and it’s Flair. Dixie isn’t happy. And they lock up. We get a headlock in this “fight”.

Hogan Hulks Up and there goes the bandana. Sting throws off the Hogan shirt too. The fans sound into it so points for that. Hogan puts on a neck crank and we look at Dixie again. It’s in a rest hold so no complaints there. Hogan keeps crotch chopping. All Hogan so far with him sending Sting to the floor so Flair can pound away a bit with chops and a low blow.

All Hulk still as he hammers away on Sting on the floor. There’s some kind of object given to Hogan by Flair and Hulk pounds away with it. Sting is busted and Hogan struts and WOOs. Sting fires back and Hogan is in trouble. He keeps going to the floor to chase Flair and this time gets the object from him. Flair tries to warn Hulk but he can’t get away in time. Hulk is busted.

There’s the splash and down goes Flair. Hogan takes another splash and Hogan is down in the middle of the ring. Here’s the Scorpion and Sting gets it on full. He sits down on it and Hogan taps out right in front of the referee…..and he rings the bell for the submission at 9:49. The fans are not happy….like at all.

Rating: D+. The ending hurt it a lot but the fans were WAY into this. Tis is a fine example of a match where the match wasn’t the important part. However, there was nothing important to see here and the ending didn’t work at all for the most part. Keeping it short was good but Eric’s son wound up meaning almost nothing at all.

Immortal runs out for the beatdown with the chairs and Abyss is watching from behind the stage. Eric sets for a chair shot but his son takes the chair away. Down goes the son and Hulk is getting up. For no apparent reason Hulk turns face and beats up Immortal. Hogan and Sting clean house and Flair takes the brunt of the beating. Bischoff is cowering in the corner.

Hogan and Sting go back to back and stare each other down. They don’t shake hands but Hogan beats up Bischoff. This makes absolutely NO SENSE but the fans are more into it than anything ever in TNA. Hogan says he’s back and kicks Bischoff out of the ring. Hogan and Sting stare it down again and Sting wants Hogan to pose. They play to the crowd and that’s about it.

We recap Roode vs. Angle and I think you know the drill here.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle

It’s 10:36 when the bell rings so they have about 20 minutes or so, barring them going right up to the hour. They head to the floor for a few seconds and Angle kicks him low on the way back in. Angle is coming in with a legit hamstring injury. They go to the mat and Angle works on a gutwrench. The fans are all behidn Roode. The American hits a German on the Canadian and make it three of them, getting a two count.

Kurt sets for the moonsault but Roode suplexes him off and Kurt lands on his head. The fans went SILENT after that. Kurt seems to be ok as they slug it out. Roode hits a forearm and some clotheslines to take over. Blockbuster hits for what looked to be three but they’ll call it two. Belly to belly gets two for the champ as does a DDT. Angle Slam is countered into the spinebuster (no pop at all for it) for two.

Angle does the run up the rope suplex for two. They’re really just using signature stuff here instead of a longer match. Roode grabs the Crossface out of nowhere and Kurt can’t reach a rope. Angle teases tapping but he grabs the ankle to escape the hold. Now Roode is in the submission and teases tapping but reverses right back into the Crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle reverses again and is put in the hold on the other arm this time. Kurt rolls through into the Slam for two.

Back to the ankle but Roode kicks him off and hits the spinebuster to still not much of a reaction. The crowd just does not care after the Hogan vs. Sting stuff. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. The dueling chants start up and Kurt hooks the ankle again. Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag as the fans are starting to get into this a bit. Angle gets the referee in between them and kicks Roode low. There’s another Slam and it only gets two again.

Time for more rolling Germans but Roode reverses into the Crossface again, this time on the left arm which is the one that I think it’s been on more often than the right one. Roode’s face is really bad when he’s got these holds on. Kurt’s arm is under the ropes so the hold is broken. Spear gets two for Angle. I’m so over the move I can’t stand it anymore. Angle goes up for something but jumps into the Crossface. Kurt escapes and tries the Slam but Roode tries the Fisherman’s into another Slam and Kurt grabs the rope….for the pin at 14:20. Oh….oh no they can’t be doing this. Roode’s arm was under the ropes too.

Rating: C. The ending cripples this. It wasn’t a classic before that but the ending hurt it more than I can comprehend. The match was so based on having finishers escaped and kicked out of and all that stuff which was the vast majority of the match. Not horrible but man, that ending is actually standing and it’s over. That CRIPPLED things.

Overall Rating: B+. The ending to this show brings it way down. I mean WAY down. There isn’t a truly bad match on the whole card but there isn’t a classic either. Still, it’s a very good show and worth checking out, but the ending to the main event hurt this like nothing else. There was zero point to having Angle go over there and he was helped out by the trainer post match so maybe he was legit hurt. I’m in awe over that ending. The rest of the show was solid though and Hogan’s illogical heel turn is fun stuff. Worth seeing, but prepared to roll your eyes at the main event.

Results
Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Van Terminator
Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Matt Morgan – Spear to Joe
Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check through a table
Velvet Sky b. Winter, Mickie James and Madison Rayne – Sitout facebuster to Rayne
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Daniels said he quit
Sting b. Hulk Hogan – Scorpion Deathlock
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Angle Slam

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This is the biggest show of the year for TNA and they’re not in Orlando for once. The main event here is Sting vs. Jarrett because that’s what they decided it should be, despite the fans screaming for Joe for months. Joe is in a pointless Monster’s Ball match instead of anything important. I watched this show and remember thinking there was a chance that Joe could run in somehow but it didn’t happen. Also tonight Angle is the guest referee is in the main event because who needs to have the biggest acquisition the company has ever had wrestling on the biggest show of the year? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Henry Ford and how Detroit rose up because of people like him. It’s about following your dreams or something. The voiceover guy talks about how this is all about overcoming obstacles and achieving your dreams or whatever. As usual it goes way too long.

The set looks more like the old weekly PPV sets.

Battle Royal

This is officially the Kevin Nash Open Invitational X-Division Gauntlet Battle Royal. In other words, it’s a sixteen man Royal Rumble for only X-Division guys. Nash comes out in a suit with a bowling trophy. The first entrant is the debuting Austin Starr to face #2 Sonjay Dutt. Every sixty seconds someone else comes in. As usual it’s a regular match once we get down to two. The fans are split so Nash talks about being a legendary high flier.

Maverick Matt is in at #3. His minute has absolutely nothing happening so here’s Lethal in at #4. He speeds things up a bit and gets a chant in his name. Lethal and Dutt are semi-regular partners so they take over the match. Austin knocks Lethal down and does his strut. Nash: “I like this Starr guy. I hope he does better than Glacier.” A-1, not a small guy for the most part, is #5.

Spinebuster takes Lethal down and A-1 is told he can’t wrestle. Everyone is still in and here’s Zach Gowen at #6. He’s the one legged guy from WWE in 2004. He spends thirty seconds getting to the ring and we get a Johnny Ace reference for some reason. Nash: “You two dudes are dynamic.” Kaz is #7 as we still haven’t had an elimination. Matt and Kaz, former tag partners, throw out Dutt.

Sirelda, a REALLY weird looking chick that is another attempt to recreate Chyna, is #8 and she beats up various men. Starr kicks her low and A-1 hits a BIG clothesline to put her out. Kaz and Matt knock him out immediately as Shark Boy is #9. The fans love Sharky and nothing happens until Shelley, getting the pop of the night so far, comes in at #10. He spits water in Kaz’s face and the fans cheer for him even more.

D-Ray 3000 is #11. He’s a blaxploitation character who hung out with Shark Boy. They team up for a Bushwackers battering ram and throw out Matt. By my math we’ve had eleven entrants and four eliminations so far. #12 is Johnny Devine and he throws out Gowen in seconds. Elix Skipper is #13 and he takes down Shelley and Lethal on his entrance with a double clothesline. Kaz tries a springboard move like an idiot and Starr puts him out.

Short Sleeve Sampson, as in one of Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling guys, is #14. D-Ray and Shark Boy go out at the same time. Starr holds up the midget time after time over the ropes but won’t toss him. #15 is SCREAMIN NORMAN SMILEY!!! Smiley and Samson hit stereo Big Wiggles before Shelley throws Samson onto Shark Boy. Samson chases Slick Johnson around the ring until Petey Williams is the final entrant at #16.

Johnson comes into the ring and shoves Smiley and Skipper out despite not being in the match. Ok so we have Shelley, Devine, Williams, Lethal and Starr. Williams throws out Johnston to get rid of that stupidity. Williams charges at Petey and gets sent to the apron, only to hit his slingshot Codebreaker. There’s the Canadian Destroyer but Shelley throws Williams out. Starr dumps Devine and Shelley to get us down to a one on one match with Starr vs. Lethal for the win.

Lethal hits a quick release Dragon Suplex for two. He goes up but Austin knocks him down and hits the brainbuster for the win. The one on one part lasted maybe a minute.

Rating: C. This was what it was. Having the one minute intervals was a good idea because most of these people aren’t important enough to warrant two minutes without anyone new being put in there. The match itself probably ran longer than it should have to open the biggest show of the year, but it was fast paced enough to work I guess.

Post match Shelley yells at Nash while Starr gets his trophy.

We get a clip of LAX beating down AMW and Gail Kim taking the Border Toss.

AMW yells about LAX but tonight they’re in a fourway match which has nothing to do with LAX. Sure why not.

The Naturals vs. Team 3D vs. James Gang vs. America’s Most Wanted

The Naturals are the #1 contenders and managed by Shane Douglas. Why they’re not challenging for the titles tonight is beyond me but whatever. The James Gang is the New Age Outlaws. All of the teams other than AMW has something to say but nothing really gets said if you get what I mean. Harris vs. Stevens starts us off with Stevens speeding things up quickly. Harris dropkicks him into the corner so Ray can tag himself in.

One fall to a finish here. Ray beats up both members of AMW but BG tags himself in, resulting in a mirror image of the Flip Flop and Fly elbow. D-Von and Kip come in and slam each other into the mat. I’m barely able to keep up with this match as they’re coming in and out at will. Storm and Douglas go to the corner and Storm falls into the Tree of Woe. Harris climbs up and Stevens comes in for a four man Tower of Doom to take them all down, even with Storm still caught in the Tree.

Catatonic to BG is countered and he hits the Pumphandle Slam for two. Eye of the Storm takes down Stevens but D-Von takes him down, only to walk into a standing tornado DDT from Douglas. We’re in the parade of finishers here. Stevens sets for a superplex on D-Von but Bubba comes in to hit a Doomsday Device. What’s Up to Douglas and they set for the tables but Stevens makes the save. Natural Disaster (elevated Stunner) takes out D-Von for two. Stevens runs into Douglas and walks into the 3D for the pin.

Rating: D. What a mess! The James Gang and AMW fell into a black hole for the last two minutes of that and there’s no way to keep track of most of what was going on here. This would have been much better as an elimination match, but for all intents and purposes that’s what happened at the end anyway. Bad match with WAY too much stuff going on. Also does this make 3D the #1 contenders? They beat the Naturals who already were, but I doubt that’s what’s going on.

Shane Douglas comes back again post match and yells at the Naturals.

JB is outside Joe’s locker room but finds Jake Roberts instead. Roberts is refereeing the Monster’s Ball match for some reason. He doesn’t say much but I think he’s drunk. No real indication for why, but I figured I’d play the odds.

We recap the Monster’s Ball match. Joe stole the world title belt (See? It was right there) and Abyss agreed to go get it in exchange for the first title shot. Abyss got the belt but Raven and Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) beat Abyss up before he could deliver it to Cornette. This is what the hottest guy arguably in wrestling at this point was doing for the biggest show of the year. Not being in the world title match, but fighting Spike Dudley. This company deserved to be stuck in mediocrity like it always was.

Samoa Joe vs. Brother Runt vs. Raven vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball which basically means hardcore. Jake Roberts is guest referee. This is also the third match in a row that isn’t a simple one on one or tag match. Everyone jumps Joe to start and knock him to the floor. Raven and Runt team up on Abyss with Runt being knocked to the outside. Runt brings in a chair and Raven hits his drop toehold on Abyss into the chair but Joe comes back in to make people care. Joe hits the Facewash on Raven but walks into a chokeslam.

Abyss runs over the ECW guys and throws Runt into the crowd from the ring to emulate Bigelow’s famous spot. Raven clotheslines Abyss to the floor and dives on him, which Abyss shrugs off without even leaving his feet. Joe hits a BIG corkscrew dive onto all three to put them all down while landing on his feet. Raven pops up and hits Joe with a Silence of the Lambs style mask of his.

They go up the ramp and Joe is knocked through a table off the ramp. Runt and Abyss climb up part of the set and Runt is chokeslammed onto a platform which doesn’t have much give at all. Something happens which results in Abyss landing on Runt but the camera is zoomed in on Roberts. The replay shows that it was kind of an elbow drop. Nice production work there guys.

Raven throws Joe through another table in a vain attempt to make us believe he won’t win. Is there a point to Roberts being referee at all here? He hasn’t done anything. Abyss gets two on Runt but Raven saves. Abyss drops an Earthquake splash down for two on Raven. Joe comes in to break up Shock Treatment by pounding on Abyss. He misses the backsplash but kicks Abyss low instead.

Powerslam onto a chair gets two. Raven drop toeholds Joe to the floor but Abyss knocks him down and loads up the tacks. Jake pulls out his bag but Raven jumps him and loads up a DDT on Jake. Abyss pours out the tacks but Joe pulls down the ropes to prevent Raven from going into the tacks via the Black Hole Slam. Joe knocks Abyss to his knees and hits the senton backsplash to put Abyss’ face into the tacks. Raven breaks up the choke but Jake DDTs him so that the MuscleBuster can give Joe the pin.

Rating: D. I know this is a sweeping statement, but this might be the most questionable choice in TNA history. Why in the world was Joe in this match? Jake added NOTHING here. He counted slow and I guess he didn’t hurt anything, but what difference did it make to have a guest referee? The match was your usual garbage but no one bought anyone but Joe having a chance here. Also did Runt fall into the same hole the James Gang and AMW fell into in the previous match?

Jake puts the snake on Raven post match.

Eric Young is panicking over possibly losing in the loser gets fired match. His opponent, Larry freaking Zbyszko, comes up and says he’s already got Young beaten.

We recap Larry vs. Young. Larry was a boss in the company but got corrupt and cost Eric a match for his job. Cornette reinstated him in a loser gets fired match. This is your first one on one match of the night and we’re over an hour into the show. Let that sink in for a minute.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

The fans are totally behind Eric here. They want Larry fired so he stalls as usual. Eric points at Larry and the fans boo, then he point at himself and the fans cheer. No contact about a minute and a half in. They lock up and Larry hits the spinning back kick and the abdominal stretch. Eric reverses and the referee takes a shot. Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko is getting a referee bump. Larry pulls out a foreign object but gets hit low. Eric gets the object and hits Larry for the pin.

Rating: F. If you don’t get why this is an F, you’re on your own.

Video on Senshi accompanied by Mortal Kombat, which is sponsoring the show.

Here’s Jim Cornette to fill in some time. He can barely talk (I don’t know how to handle this) due to being sick so he sounds like he has a stable of horses in his voice. Cornette says he should be in intensive care but there was no way he was missing this. If Joe interferes in the main event tonight, he’s removed from the roster. That draws out Angle who wants to fight someone right now.

Kurt says he doesn’t need a buffer between himself and Joe…and here’s the fat Samoan himself. They start brawling on the floor but security makes the save. WHY IS THIS MATCH NOT ON THIS SHOW??? They both break through security and Joe shouts at Cornette to let him fight tonight. This company seriously made my head hurt at times.

We recap Senshi vs. Sabin. There’s no real story here, other than Sabin is the challenger. If there’s another story to it, the recap doesn’t mention it. I think it’s a rematch.

X-Division Title: Senshi vs. Chris Sabin

Joe has been ejected from the arena. Every time this story gets stupider the harder my head shakes. They fight over a lockup to start and both guys hit various forms of kicks which results in Senshi taking over. A big kick gets two. They slug it out and Sabin fires off some forearms but walks into a double boot in the corner for two. Senshi hooks a body scissors on the mat to slow things down.

That doesn’t last long so Senshi slams him for two. They chop it out and Senshi comes back with the kicks. They go into the corner and Sabin pounds on his back but Senshi stops him cold with a standing Liger Kick. Senshi tries to get a running start but Sabin takes him down with a springboard missile dropkick. Sabin kicks him to the floor and hits a great suicide dive to the outside. Back in Sabin hits a running enziguri and puts Senshi in the Tree of Woe (popular position tonight) and hits the hesitation dropkick for two.

Sabin loads up Cradle Shock but Senshi counters into a dragon sleeper, but it’s quickly broken. Another Liger Kick misses and Sabin hits a springboard DDT for two. These near falls are getting really close. They go to the corner with Senshi trying a rolling sunset flip but instead of covering he jumps to his feet and hits a standing double stomp for two. A springboard back kick gets the same.

Senshi misses a charge in the corner and Sabin hits a HUGE running boot to the face which might have knocked out a tooth. Cradle Shock gets two with the referee messing up his count and stopping a half second before the kickout happened. They go to the corner again with Senshi looking to superplex him, but instead he walks backwards on the middle rope to fire off some HARD kicks. Warrior’s Way gets a delayed two as Sabin gets his foot on the ropes. There’s a modified dragon sleeper but Sabin won’t tap. Senshi pulls back to fire off elbows to the head, but he stops for a second and Sabin rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Good stuff here again as the X Division was on fire at this point. The idea here was them hitting each other with everything they had and getting bigger and bigger and then Sabin using a basic hold to get the pin and it worked very well. Sabin played off the fact that Senshi was going to be very intense and therefore he’d miss something easy like that. That’s psychology at work and it’s a rare thing to see in a match like this, but it worked here.

Christian cuts off JB and rants about Rhyno talking about growing up on the streets of Detroit, but no one cares about him. Christian gave Rhyno a concussion but that’s nothing compared to what’s coming to him tonight. He won’t get invited to Rhyno’s house for dinner this year, but it doesn’t matter because his aunt’s food sucked.

We recap Christian vs. Rhyno. They’re old friends but Christian lost the world title and snapped over it. Christian gave him a Conchairto which gave him a concussion, then he hit him in the head again with another chair. Tonight is Rhyno’s chance to get even.

Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

This is an 8 Mile Street Fight which should be good. Rhyno comes through the crowd and goes straight through the entrance to meet Christian in the parking lot. Christian gets slammed onto a car and thrown into whatever Rhyno can find to throw him into. They climb onto a zamboni machine and Rhyno gets in the driver’s seat. He drives the machine with Christian on top into the arena. Rhyno climbs up to pound on Christian who falls off the machine.

Christian gets away down by the ramp and picks up a fake street lamp, only to get it ripped out of his hands and rammed into his chest. This is total domination so far. Rhyno throws in four chairs and hits Christian with a street lamp before Christian can get to one of the chairs. He loads up the Gore but Christian takes his head off with a chair shot. Rhyno shrugs that off and they go into the crowd with Christian running away even more.

After ramming Christian into some hockey glass they go back to the ring and Rhyno sets up a table at ringside. Back inside and Rhyno suplexes him down and puts up another table in the corner. Christian picks up an 8 Mile Road street sign and CRACKS Rhyno in the head with it. This is the first breather Christian has had. He goes to the floor and pulls out a ladder as Rhyno is busted open and might have another concussion. Christian charges with the ladder but Rhyno drop toeholds him into the ladder.

DDT gets two for Christian and they’re both spent. Rhyno is gone from the concussion and a ladder shot to the head makes it even worse. Christian goes under the ring again and comes up with a straightjacket and another chair. Rhyno gets tied up in the jacket and Christian grabs a pair of chairs to set up the Conchairto but Rhyno moves. Using just his legs and his head he tries a comeback and manages to get Christian down. The referee unhooks the jacket and they fight to the apron in front of the table.

Rhyno PILEDRIVES HIM THROUGH THE TABLE to put both guys down again. THAT gets two so Rhyno loads up the Gore, but Christian moves to send him through the table. It gets two, as does an Unprettier onto the metal part of the broken table. With no idea what else to do, Christian piles up everything on top of Rhyno and hits about eight chair shots onto the pile to crush Rhyno, which FINALLY gets the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t say this that often, but that was AWESOME. I’m not a fan of the street fights, but this one was really intense with a feeling that someone had to do something big to get the win. The piledriver was awesome, as were the kickouts from Rhyno. Christian finally just pounding the tar out of Rhyno with everything he had until Rhyno couldn’t move an inch was a great finish. Loved this.

Konnan rants about raising the violence tonight and how they’re not sorry for what they did to Gail. They fight Styles/Daniels for the titles in a cage tonight.

We recap the tag title match and the idea is that Konnan says that putting a cage up doesn’t matter because they’re used to borders. Daniels got kidnapped in a way and beaten down three on one. The idea is that LAX is this rapidly growing powerful team that has to be stopped before they become unstoppable. They’ve traded the titles a few times as well so this is the final blowoff match.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels are the champions. The champs run in and the brawl is on. Unfortunately they have to tag in this which really takes away the violence aspect of it. I wouldn’t bet on it lasting long though. AJ and Homicide start with the dropkick spot putting the murder inspired one down. Off to Daniels as the champions hit a combination clothesline/belly to back suplex for two.

Styles comes back in for a backbreaker for two. AJ gets sent into the cage and it’s off to Hernandez. Styles moves around quickly and manages a tag but gets sent into the cage anyway. Homicide’s torndado DDT is countered but SuperMex takes his head off with a clothesline. The challengers look like they’re setting for a Doomsday Device but Hernandez drops him backwards and Homicide hits a top rope elbow for two. Nice change of pace. AJ is busted but we didn’t get a shot of him until now.

Konnan slides in an object to Homicide which goes into Daniels’ head. It appears to be a fork but Hebner doesn’t see it. Off to Hernandez to give Daniels a neck rub. Homicide gets a bottle of tequila from somewhere and spits some into Daniels’ face. They go up top and Daniels hits a sitout hiptoss for two to break the momentum. There’s the tag to AJ who hits the backflip into the reverse DDT for two. Everything breaks down as you would expect it to and Daniels clotheslines Homicide over and over.

The champions go high low on Homicide and are firmly in control. Hernandez has his face rammed into the cage and AJ hits the Pele on Homicide for two. Now Homicide gets the fork put in his head. AJ has no problem with the referee seeing that but Homicide hid it earlier. Hernandez starts going on another rampage but walks into a Pele to put everyone down.

AJ goes to the top of the cage (I think you can only win by pin/submission), drawing a please don’t die chant. The others catch him and try a Tower of Doom but AJ can’t get into position so he stays on top. That’s good as I was legit scared of him taking that bump from there. Instead he hits a HUGE cross body to Hernandez off the cage for two. Homicide hits a cutter on AJ but walks into an STO from Daniels.

Hernandez runs over Christopher and goes to the top of the cage also. He misses his splash and if he’s still alive I’ll be stunned. Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings on Hernandez but Homicide got a coat hanger from Konnan to choke him out. Konnan gets it back and chokes him from outside the ring. Hernandez breaks up the Clash and the Gringo Killa gives LAX the titles back.

Rating: A-. Another great match here with them finally saying screw this tagging stuff and letting it all hang out there, which is what you’re supposed to do in a big match. That dive by AJ was incredible but for some reason, probably fear, Hernandez’s didn’t get much of a reaction at all. Still though, great match but somehow it isn’t as good as the Ultimate X match they had the month before.

We recap Sting vs. Jarrett which is like a year long feud with a ton of twists and turns in it. In short: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN JOE. Joe beat Jarrett the previous month but that was just about revenge or honor or something. There’s no need for this to be Jarrett vs. Sting and the only people that wanted it to be are likely named Jarrett. Oh and Angle is guest referee. Sting hasn’t even been on TV for two months to make sure the match has even less build for it. Oh and it’s title vs. career.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Oh wait Angle is guest enforcer. Sting’s big transformation after missing for two months: he has red tights. Tenay thinks the bat is a tribute to the Detroit Tigers. Someone smack him for me. I’m already annoyed enough that Joe isn’t in there but now I have to listen to Tenay’s stupid theories? After big match intros we’re finally ready to go. Feeling out process to start for some reason, after they’ve fought each other about a thousand times.

Jeff controls to start for no apparent reason, arm dragging and hip tossing Sting around with ease. Sting starts to Hulk Up…and Jeff throws him around again. Now Jeff drops him with one punch. Jeff dropkicks him to the floor and OH MY GOODNESS ARE YOU THIS FREAKING STUPID??? Why in the world would you have THE MOST BORING WORLD CHAMPION IN YEARS dominate one of the most charismatic wrestlers in history like this?

Back in Jarrett spits on him and Sting FINALLY takes over on him like he should have from the opening bell. Powerbomb of all things puts Jeff down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Jeff shoves Angle who shoves right back and Sting starts hammering Jarrett outside. Sting gets whipped into the barricade but Jeff gets his chair taken away by Angle. They fight up the ramp with Sting hitting a suplex to keep Jeff down. Angle takes the chair from Sting too and Jeff’s chair shot takes Kurt out.

DDT on the ramp puts Sting down and Jeff hooks a sleeper back inside. Sting fights out of that and they screw up some spot involving Sting getting behind Jeff. Cross body puts both guys down. Angle comes in and hits the Slam on the referee so that it’s not a double countout. They slug it out and the Splash sets up the Death Drop for two. Stroke hits for two. Jeff tries a tombstone which Sting reverses into a dangerous looking one of his own.

Sting goes up so that Jeff can hit him low, but he can’t hit a Stroke off the top. Sting’s splash off the top hits knees and there’s the Figure Four. Sting turns it over so Jeff lets it go and hooks an ankle lock to taunt Kurt. It gets reversed and Jeff is sent to the floor so Sting gets the bat. Angle tries to stop him and Jeff gets the guitar. Jeff breaks it over Sting’s head…and Sting yells at him. Scorpion quickly ends this.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it seemed like they didn’t know if they wanted to do an old school Sting match or an Attitude Era style brawl. Either one would have been ok but mixing them really didn’t work. At the end of the day, no one wanted to see Sting get the title again because we had seen it before and the fans were all behind Joe. Naturally since this is the NWA, they don’t care what the fans want and go with the old guys instead. The match wasn’t anything that good either.

Sting celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. As it is, this is a good show. With an ending the the fans wanted to see, it would be one of the best TNA shows ever. Sting’s title reign wound up meaning jack as he lost the title four weeks later to Abyss, a guy Joe beat in the Monster’s Ball earlier tonight. Joe wouldn’t the title for another 18 months because we needed to go through FOUR Angle reigns and a long Christian reign that no one wanted to see. This is also around the time that TNA’s hot streak started to die off. What a coincidence no? Anyway, very good show that could have been excellent if TNA would actually pay attention.

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It’s TNA’s biggest show of the year so why not throw in a count-up for it too?  Unfortunately I came up with this idea after it was too late to redo these but I’ll get fresh versions of these up some day.

It’s the biggest show of the year (I think it was back then at least) and the main event is Nash vs. Jarrett. In theory at least, as Nash has come down with his latest life threatening illness and has to back out. Therefore we’re going to shuffle the card around and have a ten man Gauntlet for the Gold with the winner immediately getting a shot at Jarrett. There’s a celebrity guest referee for the main event in UFC legend Tito Ortiz. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how this started a year ago at Victory Road and how hard they’ve all worked in the year since then. We actually see their voiceover guy who is a large black man. Tonight is their night.

Samoa Joe vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

Joe gets the full tribal entrance. Liger gets the streamers and offers a handshake but we cut to a shot of the NJPW owner so I don’t know if Joe shook it. The fans are behind Joe here and he runs Liger over a few times. Out to the floor and Liger takes over, hitting a big dive onto Joe. Back in Joe hits knees in the corner and the fans are split. A kick sets up a knee drop for two. Tenay talks about Monday Nitro as Joe hits a powerslam for two.

Now the fans are just chanting for Liger. I’m not sure why as Joe has been doing his usual stuff and isn’t acting like a heel or anything. Could it be because the fans change their minds faster than they can change a tire? Liger gets in a Liger Kick and hits a suplex for two. Considering the size difference that’s not bad. Frog Splash gets two. Liger’s palm thrust is avoided and Joe hits a kick to the head to take over. Joe’s superplex is countered into a powerbomb for two. A pair of palm thrusts get the same. Liger goes up but gets caught in the MuscleBuster and the Clutch ends this.

Rating: D+. That’s it? The match was ok but for something that they were building up as close to a dream match, I’d expect more than a seven minute match with Joe barely having to break a sweat. I’m glad that they brought in Liger who people at least know rather than some Japanese guy that about 1% of their audience could name. That’s a plus. The match was pretty lackluster though.

Clip from Fanfest this weekend. The fans saying they don’t want soap operas is amusing today.

We see two fans who won a contest and get to train at the NJPW Dojo before joining the Impact roster. I don’t recognize them.

Simon Diamond fires up the Diamonds in the Rough.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. Apolo/Sonny Siaki/Shark Boy

The Diamonds are Elix Skipper, David Young and Simon Diamond. Shark Boy and Diamond get us going. Diamond takes him down with some kicks and a clothesline for two. Sharky comes back but the Dead Sea Drop is countered. He bites the tights of Diamond and we’re in comedy match territory. Off to Skipper who is taken down almost immediately by a drop toehold. Things speed up a bit so it’s off to Apolo.

Apolo is more of a power guy and gets two off a Diamond Cutter. A spinning half nelson slam looks to get a pin but Diamond distracts the referee. Young comes in with some cheating and the Diamonds take over. Skipper stays in and hits a kind of spear for two. Apolo comes back with a one man 3D to put both of them down.

Double tag brings in Siaki and Young but everything breaks down. Apolo hits a TKO on Young (he LOVES Cutters apparently) and Shark Boy dives on Skipper. Young takes both of them out with a spinning dive and Apolo dives on everyone but Simon. Skipper and Siaki go inside and Elix throws Siaki to Young for the spinebuster and the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here. Apolo was a guy that had some potential to him but he wound up going back to Puerto Rico (I think) soon after this. The Diamonds were a lower midcard heel team that never really went anywhere. This wasn’t much for the most part but fill in matches like this were regular for TNA in these days.

We get some clips from the pre-show, one of which being of an X-Division fourway and the other of Larry Z yelling at Raven, resulting in Rhyno yelling at Raven and goring him. This is about both of them wanting the world title shot later tonight.

Jarrett laughs about Nash having chest pains and says he doesn’t care who he faces tonight. Jeff either just got out of the shower or it’s about 200 degrees in the back. He says screw all of his potential opponents. Monty Brown comes in and wants Jeff to say screw him too. He can smell the fear in Jarrett. This goes on for awhile.

Lance Hoyt vs. Monty Brown

Hoyt fires off some shoulders to start and “hits” a flapjack (Brown rolled through it for some reason) and they head to the floor. Brown sends him into the steps and back inside but due to Monty yelling at the crowd, Hoyt hits a dive (literally bouncing off Brown as they hit the floor). Back in the ring and Monty chops away in the corner. Hoyt punches away in the same corner, and it’s punches > chops in this case. Brown is face first down on the mat but as Hoyt goes up, Brown is playing possum. Nice job.

Back to the floor and Monty suplexes him onto the mats. Back in, Hoyt hammers away but Brown throws him down with a belly to belly. Lance gets up and hits a big boot and his moonsault, which still can’t get a pin. I never remember that getting a win actually. Hoyt goes up but jumps into the Alpha Bomb (fallaway slam position but Brown throws them up into a powerbomb) for two. Hoyt hits either a Rock Bottom or a chokeslam for two. And never mind all that Hoyt offense because a Pounce ends it.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Brown was a power guy and he didn’t need to be anything more than that. On the other hand you have Hoyt who was agile and good, but for some reason they refused to let him beat anyone significant. This was a decent power match but again it really didn’t need to be on PPV. There was no reason given for this match happening that I caught either.

Quick video on Global Impact.

3 Live Kru says they’re together and will fight tonight. Billy Gunn pops up to offer his help to take out D’Amore. Truth likes the idea as does BG but Konnan says no and storms off.

3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada

It’s Roode, Young and A-1 here. Eric and Konnan get us going as Tenay gives us a history of the New Age Outlaws. Konnan speeds things up and counters a headscissors into an Alabama Slam. Roode tries to come in but only manages to get caught in a three man What’s Up. Roadie and Truth hit some punches and dance some more then stomp on Roode a bit.

It’s Roode vs. Truth now with a hip toss getting two for the rapper. The annoying fans are shouting/singing something. Now they’re chanting USA for the team with a Cuban on it. Kip James is sitting on the stage, drawing a New Age Outlaws chant. A-1 comes in to choke on Truth in the corner. Those dastardly Canadians double and even triple team and it’s off to Roode. Truth hits his spinning forearm and tags in Road Dogg who cleans Canadian house. Shaky knee gets two on Roode. In the calamity, D’Amore’s distraction lets Roode get in a hockey stick shot and Young pins BG.

Rating: D. These teams feuded FOREVER and it never seemed to end. It wound up being about the Outlaws and to be fair, that’s probably the best possible outcome. The Canadians would just kind of float around for awhile until I think they broke up right around June of 06. The Kru would break up soon enough after this.

Post match the Canadians hold Konnan for Billy to hit him with a chair but he beats up all of the Canadians with it. Konnan isn’t sure what to do now but the Kru celebrates despite losing.

Shane Douglas asks Larry Z who is getting the shot tonight. Larry says he has a lot of options but is waiting for a word from upper management.

We recap the #1 contender’s match for the X Title. It’s Ultimate X which Williams has had some success in. Bentley and Sabin are in there due to needing two more spots filled in here.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley

Ultimate X, #1 contender’s match. Petey goes up but Sabin pulls him down and the faces (I think?) beat on him a bit. Williams counters a suplex from Sabin into one of his own but Bentley comes in with a kick to slow Petey down again. Wheelbarrow suplex puts Williams down again and Bentley goes up. Petey takes Matt down again but Traci’s (Bentley’s chick) rack distracts him. Matt goes up but Sabin pulls him down.

It’s Sabin vs. Bentley at the moment while D’Amore coaches Williams. Sabin picks Williams up and puts him in Razor’s Edge position, throwing him at Bentley in the corner. Sabin tries to climb but barely gets started before Bentley makes the save. We’re way too early in the match for a potential win anyway. Petey sends Bentley to the floor and hits a SWEET slingshot rana to put him down even further.

Everyone is back in now and Bentley hits a neckbreaker on Sabin and a cutter on Williams at the same time. Matt goes climbing but Sabin follows him and hooks a powerbomb to take both guys down in a painful looking move. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey sings O Canada. Bentley pops up and dropkicks him off and out to the floor before going up. Sabin gets out of the Tree and shoves him down, before diving on both guys when the X was there for the grabbing because Sabin is an idiot.

Sabin goes up and Bentley dives at him with a shoulder block. That knocks Sabin down, but it knocks the X down as well. We more or less stop the match so that the crew can put the X up again with a ladder. The fans chant USE THE LADDER. Sabin and Bentley go up for the X but knock each other off. The X falls and Petey catches it, so TNA says screw the rules, Williams wins.

Rating: D+. The match was good, but there’s really no excuse for the ending. Put it up there again and have someone get it immediately or whatever, but COME ON. This was just freaking stupid and it makes the company look inept because they can’t get their own signature match right. Invest in some better tape guys.

We recap the tag title match. AMW interfered at a house show to get the title off of Raven and onto Jarrett again and then Jarrett helped AMW destroy Team 3D. Look up the funeral for Team 3D. It’s absolutely hilarious. AMW beat down the Naturals as well for the titles so tonight it’s about revenge as well as the belts for them.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. The Naturals

I can never remember which one is Stevens and which one is Douglas. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with the Naturals in control. Ok Douglas has the bandage on his head. Got it. Storm gets powerbombed into the railing which looked SICK. The challengers get Harris in the ring and beat him down in the corner. Storm is walking out on the match. The Naturals go back and get him because it’s about revenge more than the titles. I can live with that if it’s done right and it has been here.

We’re over three minutes into this and there has been no tagging or one on one in the ring at all so far. Harris gets choked by both Naturals on the floor until they get bored and Douglas goes after Storm. Gail finally does something and distracts Douglas, allowing Storm to send him into the Ultimate X structure. Douglas’ cut is busted open now. Five minuets in now and they’re in the ring but it’s still 2-1.

Ok it’s FINALLY Storm vs. Douglas. Eye of the Storm gets two and Harris comes in without a tag. Stevens comes in after Douglas was in trouble for about a minute. Douglas is bleeding pretty good though so that likely has something to do with it. A Naturals double team gets two on Storm. The move that would later be named the Last Call misses and Stevens hits a kick of his own for two.

Gail throws in some powder to Harris but Chase Stevens knocks it into the Wildcat’s face. Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom, his finisher) on Storm. The Naturals hit the Death Sentence on Harris but it only gets two. Gail breaks up the Natural Disaster (double team elevated Stunner) so Douglas goes to the floor and grabs her by the hair. The distraction lets Harris handcuff Douglas to the barricade. Stevens his an enziguri on Storm but Harris busts a bottle over Stevens’ head and the Death Sentence retains the title.

Rating: B. WOW. This was only about ten minutes long but they flat out DO NOT STOP the whole time. It’s a wild brawl and I bought into the revenge that the Naturals were wanting the whole way. The biggest criticism of the Naturals is that they have no charisma, but man they were bringing it here and the match WORKED. Very good stuff. AMW would hold the titles for over eight months until the dream team of Styles and Daniels took them away.

We recap the Monster’s Ball feud. It’s Abyss vs. Rhyno vs. Sabu vs. Raven. This is when they still had the idea that each guy was held without food, water, light or human contact before the match. That was a bonus deal for these matches in the early days but it was dropped I think after this one.

James Mitchell says that Abyss (who is behind him despite the rule being that he has to be released right before the match) will be ready because he’s used to being put through torture.

Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Sabu vs. Abyss

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Rhyno was at the preshow remember? So they can’t even get their own rules straight. This is Monster’s Ball, which means it’s a wild brawl where anything goes. The power guys jump Hardy to start but Sabu pelts the chair at Abyss to get him off. Rhyno gets knocked to the floor and Sabu dives onto him as Hardy dives at Abyss. This is falls count anywhere. Abyss gets knocked to the floor and Hardy dives on him too.

The announcers say that they were released when the PPV began this evening. That’s fine for Abyss, BUT RHYNO WAS ON THE FREAKING PRESHOW!. All four go into the crowd and Sabu’s eye is busted open. Jeff dives off a balcony and takes Abyss down. They all get back to ringside and Hardy and Abyss go back into the ring. Sabu tries a dive off the apron but Rhyno moves to send Sabu crashing onto the floor.

Whisper in the wind puts Abyss down but the Twist is countered into Shock Treatment which gets one for Sabu. Rhyno hits Abyss and Sabu with a chair and then hits Abyss again. Hardy uses Sabu as Matt for Poetry in Motion so Sabu beats him down. If someone tried to make me into Matt Hardy, I’d probably do the same. Now it’s Rhyno again with a kendo stick to kill everyone. The Gore is countered into a chokeslam onto a chair for two.

Hardy pulls out a ladder which winds up being rammed into his chest by Abyss. Abyss sets up a table near Hardy by the stage and then another next to it. Sabu sets one up between the ring and the barricade as a platform. Jeff chairs Abyss down and Sabu hits a triple jump dive through Rhyno and through the table. Hardy climbs up on top of the set and dives over the stage through Abyss through the table. If he went too short on that, he would literally be dead.

Back in the ring Sabu loads up the triple jump moonsault but Rhyno hits him with the stick to break it up. The fans think this is awesome. The Gore hits a chair in the corner and Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault for two. Abyss and Hardy crawl back to the ring with Abyss setting up a table in the corner. Sabu throws a chair at him but gets thrown to the floor and through a table for his trouble. Here come the tacks but Abyss gets Gored through the table. Hardy prevents a cover but walks into the Rhyno Driver (middle rope piledriver) for the pin.

Rating: B. This was another wild brawl and in this case it worked very well. That Swanton was absolutely incredible but at the same time REALLY scary. Rhyno looked good but the match was really a group effort. Much like the TLC matches, sometimes you just throw people out there and tell them to be violent and it works. That’s what happened here.

Larry says there’s a ten man Gauntlet For The Gold for the title match and the participants will all have competed earlier tonight. Shane thinks that’s unfair to Jarrett.

We recap the Iron Man match between Styles and Daniels that Styles won in overtime. Daniels said he could beat any three X Division guys that Styles picked in 15 minutes. The first two went down so the third was Styles which resulted in a brawl. The result: Iron Man II.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is defending and it has a thirty minute time limit under Iron Man rules. Daniels jumps AJ before the bell and we’re off quickly. He controls for the opening minute and they trade chops, won by AJ. A backbreaker puts Daniels down and onto the floor but Daniels blocks AJ’s dive. Daniels hits some palm strikes but Styles dropkicks him down. Back to the floor and Daniels is knocked into the crowd. AJ dives over the barricade and both guys are down.

They head back inside and AJ controls with a headlock. Five minutes in and the fans say both guys are awesome. The headlock stays on for a few minutes but you have to burn some time in a match like this. Daniels rolls out of it and hooks an armbar. AJ fights out of it and sends Daniels into a few corners. A hard kick puts Daniels down as it’s been almost all AJ so far.

Bridging Indian Deathlock goes on and Daniels is in big trouble, so he bited AJ’s hands to escape. Ten minutes in now. Daniels heads to the apron but AJ clotheslines him back into the ring. Springboard forearm is countered into a high collar suplex to put both guys down. Daniels takes over and twists AJ’s neck around a bit. That can’t feel good. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a neck crank by Daniels.

AJ grabs a cradle out of nowhere for two and then another one for another two. Koji Clutch out of nowhere has AJ in trouble. AJ tries to power out of it but goes right back down. Another power out attempt works and AJ makes the rope. Slingshot moonsault gets two on the champion. We’re halfway through and it’s 0-0. AJ escapes a backbreaker and hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT.

Hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two as does a pumphandle gutbuster. That’s a new one. AJ tries a moonsault but gets caught in a Death Valley Driver for a very close two. Daniels puts him on the middle rope and flips him forward into a mat slam for two. AJ counters a neckbreaker into one of his own for a slightly delayed two. AJ tries the moonsault DDT again but gets caught in a spinning powerbomb for two. BME STILL doesn’t get a fall as it only gets a two count.

Ten minutes to go and AJ puts on a torture rack and then spins it out into a slam for two. AJ dives into the corner but Daniels moves and knocks Styles to the outside where he lands on the steps. A BIG suicide dive destroys AJ but Daniels can’t follow up due to exhaustion. As they come back in, AJ hits the Pele to knock Daniels back to the floor at 8 minutes to go. Another BIG flip dive takes Daniels out and both guys are down.

Seven minutes to go and both guys are down on the floor. As they get back in, Daniels blocks a suplex back inside and hits a belly to back suplex from the apron to the floor. That was pretty awesome, much like this match. Six minutes left and it’s still zero to zero. They’re both back in with five minutes to go. Scratch that as Daniels kicks AJ out of the ring before he was all the way in.

With about 4:25 to go they slug it out in the middle of the ring with AJ taking a slight advantage. Four minutes left. AJ has a big bruise on his leg. Small package gets two for the champion. Pele misses and Daniels rolls him up for two. AJ does the same and gets the same. Daniels hits a German suplex but AJ pops up and hits a discus lariat before collapsing. Under three minutes to go now.

AJ falls on top for two and we have two minutes left. Daniels channels his inner Piper and pokes AJ in the eye. That gets him nowhere because AJ gets to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for two despite a handful of tights. 90 seconds left and they trade forearms. The fans are split here. One minute to go and Daniels blocks a suplex. AJ kicks him in the head again but it only gets two. Daniels kicks him in the head but the Angel’s Wings are countered into a suplex for two. AJ hits the Clash with two seconds left for the only fall and the win. WOW that was a hot ending.

Rating: A. The only way to make this better would have been to say AJ loses the title in a tie. Still though, GREAT match here and pretty easily the best match I’ve ever seen these two have. That’s some pretty awesome timing too with AJ getting the pin literally with two seconds left. I know I complain about AJ and Daniels a lot, but back then it was great, with this being the best I’ve ever seen from them.

Gauntlet For The Gold

This is kind of like the Royal Rumble as everyone comes in after I think a minute and it’s over the top eliminations. The winner gets Jarrett immediately thereafter. Joe and Truth are the first two entrants. Oh ok these two go for two minutes and then every entrant is one minute. Got it. Truth dances for about 20 seconds to make fun of the Polynesian dance stuff earlier.

There’s no contact until 46 seconds in when Joe punches him in the face. Off to some Facewashes and the running boot. Truth pulls himself to the top and hits a Blockbuster. Downward Spiral puts Joe down and #3 is Sabu who can barely walk. He falls through the middle and bottom rope but has a chair. He BLASTS Truth with it and hits the triple jump moonsault on the same. Air Sabu hits Joe. Remember that there are only one minuet intervals from now on.

Joe throws the chair at Sabu’s legs and Lance Hoyt is in at #4. Joe no sells Hoyt’s punches but can’t no sell a big boot. Abyss is #5 who cleans house and has a staredown with Joe. They chop it out and Abyss grabs him for a chokeslam. Joe grabs HIM for a chokeslam, which is why Joe is awesome. And then Truth breaks it up because he likes to annoy me. Jeff Hardy is #6 and Sabu is busted open. No one has been eliminated yet.

Monty Brown is #7 and he’s limping for some reason. He Pounces Sabu and throws Hardy to the apron, but Hardy pulls him along with him to eliminate both guys. Abyss is almost out but he fights everyone off. #8 is Rhyno who also can barely walk. All of the Monster’s Ball people are in this. Rhyno easily clotheslines Hoyt out and we have five in and two still to go. Kip James (who didn’t wrestle earlier) is #9 and he cleans house. Fameasser to Abyss and AJ is somehow #10, meaning no Raven which is a surprise.

So we have Kip, AJ, Abyss, Joe, Sabu, Truth and Rhyno. AJ goes right after Abyss because he’s just that kind of guy. Apparently Sabu went out off camera somewhere so it’s down to six. Joe pounds on Kip and is the big crowd favorite. Things slow down a bit until AJ hits a big jumping kick to the head of I think Truth. Truth is put onto the apron but he hangs on. Kip charges like an idiot and goes out to get us down to five.

Pele puts Truth down and everyone is down. Abyss talks to Truth, calling him Ronnie. AJ throws Truth over but Kip holds him up from hitting the floor. And never mind as he goes out anyway. So it’s Rhyno, Abyss, AJ and Joe. There’s a solid tag match in there somewhere. AJ somehow explodes on Joe with forearms but gets caught in the choke next to the ropes. Abyss eliminates them both and apparently you win by over the top. Usually it’s a one on one match when it gets down to two. Gore to Abyss and Rhyno tosses him for the quick win.

Rating: C-. Considering that these guys had all fought tonight this wasn’t half bad. AJ had to be gassed after having to stop for about 10 minutes and then start up again. Raven belonged in there instead of freaking Billy Gunn but I think that was part of his feud with management so it made sense I guess. Still though, it was relatively short and the minute time limits weren’t so bad because there weren’t that many people in it.

NWA World Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tito Ortiz is guest referee. Jarrett brings out a casket for no apparent reason. He jumps Rhyno before the belt even comes off and hits a dropkick to put Rhyno down. Out to the floor and Rhyno gets rammed into the announce table and then the casket. Back in a top rope clothesline puts Rhyno down again. He’s had zero offense at all so far. Another top rope clothesline puts the challenger down again so Jeff goes up a third time. Rhyno catches him in chokeslam position but instead throws Jeff into the air and kicks him in the balls.

Gail Kim comes out as the Gore misses. Gail goes up but jumps into the arms of Tito. She tries to slap him so she gets placed on the apron. Guitar shot misses but the second one hits Rhyno square in the face. Rhyno is busted open but it only gets two. Jarrett yells at Ortiz and AMW comes out. There’s another guitar but Ortiz drills both members of AMW. Rhyno Gores Jarrett down and pins him out of nowhere in I think his second offensive move of the match.

Rating: C. The match was nothing great but at the same time, this was Rhyno’s third match of the night and second in a row, plus there was no story to the match but that’s certainly beyond TNA’s control in this case. The match only ran about six minutes and Tito didn’t have much to do with it but again I’m assuming it made more sense with Nash in there. All things considered, this wasn’t bad.

Post match AMW runs in to beat Rhyno down as Tito is gone. The 3 Live Kru runs down for the save so Team Canada comes in as well. The casket is brought into the ring and Rhyno takes another guitar shot to the head. They shut him into the casket and Jarrett holds up the belt. Team 3D returns and cleans house along with the Kru. Only Eric Young is left so he gets the 3D and gets thrown into the casket. Rhyno and company celebrate to end the show. This was a REALLY bad choice for an ending, but again I’m assuming it was for Nash where it would have made better sense. That being said, DON’T DO IT IN THIS CASE.

Overall Rating: B+. This worked really well overall and when you considered the ending of the show had to be completely rewritten because of Nash’s life threatening medical condition of the month, it was solid. Rhyno’s title reign wound up meaning nothing because he lost the title at the next taping, but for a nice surprise ending it worked pretty well.

The middle part of this show, as in from the tag titles through the Iron Man, is EXCELLENT and the opening part isn’t that bad. The Ultimate X match is solid other than the awful ending and the longest of the first four matches is 7:15 long so they hardly cripple the show. Very good show and I can see why people were so hyped about TNA at this point.

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