Survivor Series 2002 (2024 Edition): What Was I Thinking?

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a show with one heck of a main event as the Elimination Chamber makes its debut. The idea is that Raw wants to one up Smackdown’s Cell match the previous month and a major tradition was born. On the Smackdown side, Brock Lesnar is defending the World Title against the Big Show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the two World Title matches, with Eric Bischoff introducing the Elimination Chamber.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match, with JR bringing up TLC matches taking place in this building. That has never happened, but odds are he’s thinking of the tables match between the Hardys and the Dudleys at Royal Rumble 2000. The villains are sent outside to start so Bubba throws Spike onto them. Spike gets pulled out of the air, naturally setting up a dive from Jeff to take everyone down.

Back in and Rico hammers on Bubba in the corner, which doesn’t last long as Bubba chops him away. Spike is back in with a What’s Up to Jamal and Jeff hits a top rope legdrop version. The tables are brought in, allowing Rosey to run Bubba over with a clothesline. One heck of a backdrop sends Jeff to the floor but Rosey’s charge into the corner only hits table. That’s not an elimination because it didn’t come from the other team’s offense so Rosey is right back up with a splash to Jeff.

Spike gets sent hard through a table (you can tell it was bad as Lawler wants to see it again) so 3 Minute Warning goes up, only to have both of them get crotched. Poetry In Motion is cut off so Rosey and Hardy fight into the crowd. Back in and Rico kicks away at Bubba, who pulls Rico into the way of Jamal’s charge. Ray goes up to save Hardy, setting up a heck of a Swanton off the balcony through a table to get rid of Rosey.

Back in and Jamal puts Bubba onto a table but Hardy takes FOREVER to make the save (giving us an infamous moment of Rico screaming for Jeff to get over here already). Hardy cleans house but slips while trying to run the barricade, leaving Jamal to shove a table at Jeff’s head instead for a nasty crash.

A giant top rope splash puts Jeff through the table, leaving us with Bubba vs. Jamal/Rico. Back in and Jamal takes too long loading up a hurricanrana, allowing Ray to powerbomb him through a table. Jamal and Rosey are back up to go after Bubba but D-Von Dudley runs in for the big save and one heck of a reaction. The 3D puts Rico through the table for the win at 14:22.

Rating: B-. And that’s how they brought the Dudleys back together to end the split up runs, which really weren’t working that well. The two of them just work better together and it was the right move to make. It’s also a good way to give the match a happy ending, though it was a good, hard hitting fight until then. I’m not wild on the match being that long, but it gave us a nice ending so it works out well enough.

Stacy Keibler is at the World and introduces Saliva to play Always to look at the rest of the card.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging and debuts his awesome theme music (the one with “you can run if you want to”), which should counter Nidia in Noble’s corner. An early running hurricanrana takes Noble down to start but he’s back in with a shot to take over. Kidman fights up and hits a quick backbreaker for a breather, followed by a running elbow. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Noble is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two of his own.

Back up and Kidman takes him down to load up the shooting star press, with Nidia breaking it up. The big dive drops Noble again and the slingshot legdrop gets two back inside. Noble slips out of a powerbomb (make your own jokes) and hits a tiger bomb for a rather near fall. They both go up top so Kidman can hit a heck of a top rope DDT for two, only for Noble to put him on top for a hanging DDT and his own near fall. Kidman shrugs that off, knocks Noble down, shrugs off Nidia’s distraction, and hits the shooting star press for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: B. Maybe it was due to the title feeling unimportant, but dang they were working out there and it wound up being a heck of a back and forth match. That’s what you should have done for something like this and I was digging what we got. Really hard hitting match here and Kidman gets a definitive win after surviving everything Noble threw at him.

Kurt Angle thinks he and Chris Benoit can win the Tag Team Titles. Benoit wants to fight but Angle talks about their partnership to calm him down. A handshake is offered, but Angle would rather hug. Goofy Angle continues to be hysterical.

Victoria beats up her mirror for thinking Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. They had worked together as fitness models until WWE wanted them both. Victoria implied that Stratus held her back so now Victoria is here to make up for lost time. And revenge. And the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria is challenging in a hardcore match and jumps Stratus from behind before she can even take the belt off. Some choking with Stratus’ jacket has her in more trouble and Victoria grabs a broom. That takes too long though and Stratus monkey flips her over, only for Victoria to choke with the broom instead. Stratus throws her off the top with the boom though and grabs a trashcan lid, which is knocked back into her face with the same broom (that’s not a winner for Stratus so far).

The slingshot flipping legdrop gives Victoria two but it takes too long to set up a trashcan in the corner. Stratus uses said delay to catapult her face first into the trashcan and then grab an ironing board. Victoria is whipped through the board and Stratus uses a trashcan lid to smash Stratus in the face. A powerbomb gives Victoria two and she grabs a big mirror. That takes too long so Victoria sprays her with a fire extinguisher and grabs a suplex of all things for the pin and the title at 7:02.

Rating: B-. They beat the fire out of each other here and it felt like they were trying to win a fight. The ending wasn’t exactly great, but the weapon shots were the focal point here rather than the suplex. This was a solid way to make Victoria feel like a big deal right out of the gate and that is what they were trying to do.

Eric Bischoff brags about one upping Smackdown with the Elimination Chamber when Big Show comes in. Show promises to make Bischoff regret letting him go to Smackdown. By taking out Smackdown’s top star? That’s quite the weird way to g.

Lesnar is ready, with Paul Heyman being worried about what is going to happen.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show has debuted on Smackdown and injured Lesnar, with Paul Heyman not being sure if Lesnar is strong enough to deal with someone Show’s size. Lesnar wants to fight and is definitely leaning towards the good side for the first time.

Smackdown World Title; Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Lesnar, with Paul Heyman, is defending. They shove each other around to start as the fans are pretty firmly behind Lesnar. Show, who has a banged up arm, gets smart by going after the ribs and sending Lesnar flying out of the corner. Lesnar is right back with a spear and sends Show outside to hammer away.

Back in and Lesnar manages a belly to back suplex before busting out the expected German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Lesnar muscles Show up for a belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair, which Lesnar smashes onto Show’s head. The F5 connects and another referee runs out…but Heyman breaks up the count. Lesnar realizes what happened and chases Heyman, right into a chair to the ribs from Show. A chokeslam onto the chair is enough to pin Lesnar for the first time at 4:18.

Rating: C. I’ve never been much of a fan of his, but time and the longer term storytelling with it (as Show would be little more than a transitional champion to Kurt Angle) have softened me on it a bit. They got in and out with a quick match as Lesnar gets screwed out of the title in a variety of ways. Show has been a monster like few others around this point so having him steal the title makes sense. It’s not good, but it’s also not as bad as I remember.

Post match Show and Heyman run off with the title and leave in a waiting car.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle wn the inaugural titles but keep arguing, with Edge and Rey Mysterio winning the titles in a classic. Los Guerreros are involved too and so it’s Smackdown Six time for the titles.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are defending under elimination rules. They glare at each other to start until Benoit and Mysterio get things going. One heck of a chop rocks Mysterio and then a second one does it again. Mysterio manages a flapjack of all things and drops a leg on Benoit’s neck, allowing the tag off to Edge to keep the pace up. Angle comes in and gets punched in the face so he forcibly brings Chavo in instead.

Mysterio is right back in with the springboard splash for two but Chavo drops him on his face. Eddie comes in to stomp away, only to get dropped with an anklescissors. Another one sends Angle into the corner, where Benoit swings at Mysterio because he’s smart enough to do a little thing like that. Mysterio goes up but slips off the top, allowing Angle to stomp away. Benoit comes in with a neckbreaker and drops him with a belly to back for two.

We settle down a bit with Angle and Benoit taking turns beating on Mysterio, with Angle grabbing a front facelock. That goes on for a good while, until Mysterio slips out of a suplex and scores with a nice spinwheel kick to the face. Los Guerreros bail from Angle’s tag attempt so it’s Benoit vs. Edge instead, with the latter taking out everyone. Edge gets caught in the ankle lock and Crossface at the same time but Mysterio makes the save with a seated senton.

Eddie comes back in but gets suplexed to the floor, followed by Edge getting suplexed to the mat with the rolling German suplexes. The frog splash hits Edge but the Swan Dive hits Eddie, setting up the double submissions. Angle isn’t legal though so the referee breaks it up, allowing Chavo to hit Benoit with the belt. Chavo throws said belt to Angle, which Benoit sees, meaning the argument is on. Mysterio takes out Chavo and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination at 13:10.

Angle and Benoit beat up Edge and Mysterio before leaving, only to argue in the aisle because that’s what they do. Eddie snaps off a suplex to Edge and a baseball slide gives Chavo two. The sleeper goes on but Edge is right out, only to get dropkicked by Chavo. Eddie hits another suplex and the front facelock goes on again. That’s broken up and Edge hits a double flapjack, which is enough to bring Mysterio in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mysterio hits the 619, only to have Chavo hit him with a belt. Edge is taken out and the Lasso From El Paso gives Los Guerreros the titles at 19:24.

Rating: A-. Yeah of course this was great and I don’t know what else should have been expected. These people know how to work well together and they were allowed to do their thing for about twenty minutes here. WWE knew what they had with these guys and just let them go, which is why this era is so fondly remembered. Awesome stuff here, as was the case every time they were out there together.

Here is Christopher Nowinski to say that intelligence is different than street smarts. You either have intelligence or you don’t and the people here clearly don’t. Cue Matt Hardy, who keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks lowfat chocolate milk, to say that he is happy to see this building overflowing with Mattitude.

These stupid people are sucking the Mattitude out of the arena though and he is choking worse than the Knicks (JR: “I don’t know about that.”). This just keeps going for far too long until Scott Steiner debuts and takes them both out. Steiner gets in the catchphrase to wrap it up. WAY too long, as I’m wondering if Steiner’s cue was late or something, as you could tell Hardy and Nowinski were out of things to say.

The Chamber is lowered.

Shawn Michaels talks about his chances in the Chamber but we get an RNN BREAKING NEWS. He came all the way to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because a flight attendant gave him an extra pillow and his shoulder was protected. He’ll be back in no time.

We recap the Elimination Chamber, with HHH having issues with everyone involved and all of them wanting the title. Eric Bischoff introduced the idea to one up Smackdown using the Cell and everyone always wants to go after HHH. This gets the music video treatment with Always by Saliva.

HHH is ready for the Chamber because he’s the best. He has a first class ticket to H*** and he wants t know who’s coming with him.

Here is Eric Bischoff to walk through the Chamber and explain the whole thing concept. The fact that his rather long speech is summed up by a graphic running down the rules, and JR explaining it in far less time, makes this feel unnecessary.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs .Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and it’s HHH in at #1 and Van Dam in at #2 (And Jericho gets played to the ring by Saliva…who is in concert at the World, which is certainly unique. Maybe not good, but unique.). HHH drives him into the corner to start but Van Dam, who is rather popular, kicks him in the face and then again in the chest. The facebuster connects for HHH as commentary goes over the rules (and does a much better job than Bischoff).

They go outside for some whips to send HHH into the wall over and over, with the door popping open. A monkey flip sends the already bleeding HHH onto the Chamber floor and there’s Rolling Thunder from inside to outside. Van Dam goes up onto a pod but Jericho pulls him down, though Van Dam is able to crotch HHH on top anyway. More kicks have HHH down and it’s Jericho in at #3.

That’s fine with Van Dam, who jumps from the top to the Chamber wall, where he holds on and then dives onto Jericho with a crossbody. HHH is back up and hits the jumping knee to Van Dam before the villains take him outside again. Some hard whips send Van Dam into the wall before a DDT cuts off the comeback. Booker T. comes at #4 and cleans house, including the Spinarooni.

Van Dam slugs it out with Booker T. with the step over kick to the face giving Van Dam two. The side kick gives Booker the same but HHH is back up. Van Dam kicks him down and goes up to the top of a pod for the Five Star, with his knee landing on HHH’s throat (that was a nasty injury). Instead of covering, Booker hits a missile dropkick to get rid of Van Dam at 13:40. Booker covers HHH for two but Jericho is back up with the bulldog. An Alabama Slam gives Booker one and it’s Kane in at #5 to change things up a bit.

House is quickly cleaned again, including Jericho being sent into various things, such as through the Plexiglas. Jericho is busted open as well but he’s fine enough to hit Booker low, allowing Kane to hit a chokeslam. The Lionsault gets rid of Booker at 17:45 and we’re down to four. Jericho and HHH start double teaming Kane a bit, only for Kane to break that up without much effort. HHH gets slammed off the top but Jericho is back with the middle rope dropkick to leave everyone down.

Shawn is in at #6 to complete the field (with the entrance times being pretty close) and is quickly dropped by Kane. The running forearm cuts Kane down but he’s right back up so chokeslams can abound. Shawn is able to hit a superkick but Kane sits up, so it’s a Pedigree into a Lionsault to get rid of Kane at 22:35.

Jericho sends Shawn over the top and into the steel again and the double teaming is on. This time it’s HHH throwing Shawn over so he can rake Shawn’s face into the wall. Shawn, also bleeding, tries to fight back but gets backdropped onto the floor for a nasty crash. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm on HHH but Jericho hits the bulldog into the Lionsault…for two. And now we’re into the stretching portion, as Shawn can suddenly survive things that have beaten Booker and Kane. Shawn gets the Walls on Jericho until HHH breaks it up with a DDT.

Jericho going for the pin doesn’t please HHH so the villains get into it, with HHH hitting a hard clothesline. The facebuster gives HHH two but the Pedigree is countered into the Walls. Shawn breaks it up with the superkick and pins Jericho at 30:41, leaving us one on one. They slowly slug it out until HHH’s spinebuster gets two and they’re both slow to get up.

A backdrop sends Shawn onto the steel floor, where his own Pedigree attempt is countered into a catapult through more Plexiglas. Since it’s Shawn, he fights back again and sends HHH int the steel again, followed by a clothesline back into the ring. For some reason Shawn goes all the way to the top of the pod to drop the elbow. Instead of covering, Shawn tunes up the band but it gets reversed into the Pedigree for a rather delayed two. Another Pedigree is loaded up and Shawn hits the superkick to win the title at 39:40.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times now and I’m still not sure what I think of the thing. It tells a good story, the action is there, it might be a bit longer than it needs to be, but what we get is quite good. On paper, I should like it rather well, but as usual, there is one thing that bugs me about the whole thing, and that is Shawn himself.

As many times as I’ve seen this, it always feels a bit ridiculous that Shawn could survive all of these things. He’s getting up from multiple finishers and one heck of a beating. I know the fans went nuts on the ending and all that and it does feel like a special moment, but dang it never comes off as right. Maybe this works better as a one fall match, but I can never get my head around him beating five of the best on Raw at the time.

Confetti falls for the big celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I hadn’t realized how good of a show this really is, as you have one awesome match, a good main event and enough other strong stuff throughout to make it work very well. Lesnar vs. Show is only ok, but it barely breaks four minutes and was certainly memorable. My issues with the main event aside, this is definitely worth a look and it’s a heck of a show overall.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-
2012 Redo: B
2017 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: C-
2024 Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2012 Redo: B+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: A-

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2012 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B+

That one main event rating is bizarre enough but the overall ratings over the years are ridiculous. The show is a near classic rather than the good at best I gave it before.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 8, 2002 (2016 Redo): Breaking Point

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Raw is actually picking up a bit at the moment as they’re making some efforts to push the younger talent. Brock Lesnar is moving up the card and it’s clear that Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit are becoming the top heels. Unfortunately that leaves the NWO, who are promising that HHH will be joining tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle from Smackdown with the double finish.

Vince announces Undertaker vs. Rock vs. Angle for Vengeance. Undertaker is off tonight though and the fans are NOT pleased.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Booker T. for an opening chat. He’s used to fighting the NWO and wants X-Pac in particular because X-Pac looks like a rat. Booker quotes his dad, who apparently spoke to him in promos about challenging people to wrestling matches. Instead of X-Pac, here’s Eddie Guerrero to answer. Eddie wants to fight someone so here we go.

Booker T. vs. Eddie Guerrero

Please give them some time. Eddie stomps him down in the corner to start and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A belly to back suplex sets up a running seated Blockbuster for two but Booker grabs his spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin. For some reason the bell doesn’t ring and Booker’s music takes a second to come on so there isn’t much of a reaction.

Rating: D+. So much for giving them time. I’m sure these two are capable of having a good match if you give them more than three minutes but then we wouldn’t have time for all of the NWO promos tonight. At least Booker didn’t have to do another unnecessary job here though and that’s a good thing.

Post match Benoit comes in for the beatdown but Goldust makes the save. The Dudleyz come in and clean house with chairs.

Rey Mysterio video.

Goldust grabs Booker’s hand for a celebratory dance. Booker isn’t happy with that because the NWO is coming for them. This turns into a discussion of Jon Bon Jovi until Booker superkicks a pretzel vendor who looks like X-Pac. That probably does deserve a beating.

Jackie Gayda isn’t happy about Trish Stratus interfering last week. Apparently Trish is jealous of the attention Jackie has been getting and can’t handle it. Christopher Nowinski comes in to rip on Trish for wearing a cowboy hat and looking like Yosemite Sam. The result is a mixed tag with Bradshaw as Trish’s partner. Of note here, Jackie had some of the worst acting skills I’ve ever seen here. She has almost no presence and is just reading her lines. Trish isn’t great but at least she sounds natural.

Video of Rock asking if Lillian would like some strudel. Lillian: “More than anything in the world Rock.”

Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Goldust, dressed as Ben Franklin and talking like Santa Claus, suggests a partnership with the Dudleyz to fight the NWO. This turns into a discussion of wanting to punch Thomas Jefferson in the gonads. Benoit takes him down to start but gets suplexed. Eddie offers a distraction though and the middle rope backsplash misses. That’s enough for Benoit to snap off a German suplex but Bubba grabs one of his own. Eddie goes after Spike as the Bubba Bomb gets two. The Spike factor allows Benoit to grab the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C. This is a good role for Bubba but I’m not clear on why Benoit and Guerrero aren’t higher up the card. I mean, save for Undertaker STILL being champion for reasons that aren’t clear. The match wasn’t much to see but at least Benoit won, albeit after making sure Bubba stayed strong.

Guerrero and Benoit beat on the Dudleyz until Booker and Goldust make the save.

Video on Nowinski at Harvard. Ok then.

Recap of last week’s ladder match.

Ric Flair praised Jeff Hardy’s performance last week when, I kid you not, STEVEN RICHARDS interrupted and set up a match with Flair for later tonight. You bring Flair back to the ring, turn him face, and then give him a match with Richards? I mean, if Richards goes over (which he won’t) it’s one thing but a quick Flair win doesn’t help anyone.

Jackie Gayda/Christopher Nowinski vs. Trish Stratus/Bradshaw

This is an infamous one. The guys start things off and Chris wants a little football, only to tag in Jackie when Bradshaw gets down in the three point stance. Trish gets two off a dropkick and shoulder, which pretty much ends the competent part of the match. Stratus charges at Jackie in what I think was supposed to be a toss over the top but Jackie completely misses her so Trish just bounced chest first off the ropes.

I think Trish calls for a drop toehold or maybe a small package but Jackie kind of lays on her instead. I’ve seen over 50,000 wrestling matches in my life and I honestly do not know what they were trying to do there. That’s not good, nor is it acceptable. Jackie chokes on the mat and then the ropes before thankfully bringing Nowinski back in for some missed elbows.

Trish tags out, which brings up another issue. JR keeps talking about how the women have to face the women and the men have to face the men, so why did Trish have to tag? Shouldn’t Bradshaw be allowed to come in without the tag taking place to satisfy the match rules? A fall away slam sends Nowinski over for another tag and the men leave, because that’s clearly the best idea.

Trish tries what looks to be Stratusfaction but Jackie goes to the mat, leaving Trish to force her over with a snapmare. Some chops in the corner allow Trish to desperately call spots as JR tries to say Jackie just needs ring time. Trish shoves her off the middle rope, waits for Jackie to turn around like she’s supposed to, kicks her back into the middle of the ring, and hits something like a middle rope fist to the back of the head (supposed to be a bulldog and didn’t make contact anyway).

The fist comes close to Jackie’s head, Trish lands and turns around, and THEN Jackie goes down, allowing Trish to get the pin after the longest three minutes and fifteen seconds that I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Ignore Jackie kicking out at two and a half as the referee count anyway because they can’t let this keep going.

Rating: U. For unacceptable. This is a perfect example of what happens when someone has no reason to be in the ring but is out there because they won some competition. Nowinski was nothing great at this point but he could wrestle an acceptable match. Jackie looked like she was in her first week or two of training, let alone being ready for a live match.

There’s a difference between not being able to do much (see someone like Maven in his Raw debut) but being able to do that little amount at a watchable level. This was the polar opposite as Jackie couldn’t even do basic stuff right and you could see Trish getting mad out there. Completely unacceptable here and one of the worst matches in history.

Benoit and Eddie are annoyed when the NWO comes in to say there’s strength in numbers.

Montage of Rock impersonating various people.

Here’s the NWO for a chat. We see the NWO offering their assistance to HHH at King of the Ring, which apparently means HHH is joining the team. Shawn recaps the Kliq and then runs down HHH for sucking up to the fans too much. Just like the NWO, the Kliq is for life. That’s why HHH has until Vengeance to make the biggest decision of his life. Nash has his own bombshell because he’s coming off the injured list tonight. His idea for tonight: a ten man tag with Booker T./Goldust/Dudleyz/??? vs. the NWO/Benoit/Guerrero.

Ric Flair vs. Steven Richards

So is this really just taking place so a Philadelphia guy can wrestle? Flair stomps him down in the corner, followed by the standard chops and punches. A toss sends Steven outside, followed by a belly to back into the Figure Four for the submission.

Rating: D. What the heck was the point of that? This was an NWA style squash with Flair giving up nothing, hitting his usual stuff, and winning the match with his finisher. If this is the best they can do with Flair at this point, they’d be better off making him the boss again or just leaving him as a heel because this was a waste of time.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for a chat. Lesnar vs. Rob Van Dam is now for the Intercontinental Title (Wasn’t it already?) but Heyman would rather talk about making and exploiting everyone in ECW. Now Heyman wants to feed one of those people to the most dominant wrestler for the next ten years.

Tommy Dreamer comes out and threatens to innovate some violence and actually knocks Lesnar outside with a kendo stick. He makes the mistake of going after Heyman though and gets hit with the F5 on the floor. With Lesnar busy looking at Dreamer, Van Dam comes in and kicks Brock down. A Van Terminator knocks Paul silly. This was ALL for the live crowd, which is almost never a good idea for a TV show.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and gets punched in the face to start. The Whisper in the Wind barely makes contact but gets two anyway. A few knees to the face put Jeff down and the Regal Cutter gets two for the champ. Something like a Tazmission has Jeff in more trouble but Regal goes to unhook a turnbuckle pad. This villainy goes badly for him though as Jeff dropkicks him into the corner and hits the Swanton for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Regal was similar to British Bulldog as he only held the title because he was from Europe, meaning Jeff isn’t likely the saving grace that the title needs. Hardy is basically getting the title as a consolation prize after last week, which doesn’t mean anything because the title hasn’t meant anything in years.

Video of This Is Your Life Rock.

Regal breaks down in tears over losing. Nowinski has to come in and help him up.

Bubba gives a rousing speech to get Van Dam to be the mystery partner.

Dudley Boyz/Rob Van Dam/Goldust/Booker T. vs. NWO/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Remember earlier tonight when the Dudleyz didn’t want to team with Goldust and Booker T? Well forget about that because Nash has decided they’re partners here. There was no mention of Vince saying deal with it and team together and no scene of them agreeing to put issues aside and deal with a common enemy. Either of those things would have been fine and taken all of thirty seconds to do but instead we get neither, leaving it as a plot hole.

X-Pac and Van Dam start things off with Shawn shouting something from ringside. After the kicking exchange, it’s off to Goldust for an atomic drop and a tag to Bubba. Even Spike gets to snap off a headscissors but Benoit comes in to turn things around. The beating doesn’t last long as Van Dam is back in to monkey flip Eddie but the Canadian is back in to take over on Rob.

A superkick puts X-Pac down as the fans are trying so hard to care here. Unfortunately it’s all for naught though as the NWO is just sucking the life out of this show. The hot tag brings in Bubba to clean house but Van Dam goes after Shawn and walks into the F5 onto the stage from an invading Lesnar.

Back in and Benoit keeps working over Bubba as this keeps going. The tag brings in Nash to give Booker the big boot but he goes over to the other corner and OW MY QUAD! That would be a torn muscle and Nash wouldn’t wrestle again until April. Everything breaks down with Bubba checking on Nash and Shawn superkicking Booker. Show adds the chokeslam to put Booker away. JR: “IT’S AN NWO VICTORY!” Well to be fair, Benoit and Guerrero were just there anyway so it’s truer than it sounds.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse but you can feel the tape and paperclips coming off in a hurry. Nash getting injured is one of those things that only happens when nothing else can go wrong, but to suggest that he was going to save the whole show was ridiculous in the first place. Oh and well done by having Booker take the fall and not, I don’t know, SPIKE FREAKING DUDLEY. That’s so great.

Shawn says that’s what HHH is in for if he doesn’t join the team.

Overall Rating: F. This is a show where the wrestling was bad but the bigger problem is how it felt like the final straw. Yes the angles are horrible and yes the matches are hit or miss at best but tonight we had one of the worst matches of all time and one of the big stars coming back into the ring and then being put on the shelf for several more months, meaning the NWO continues to be worthless. Raw just does not have the credibility to survive something like this and it’s clear that they’re in need of a major shakeup.

On top of that, this was half Raw and half ECW reunion show with people like Dreamer and Richards being put on the card for the sake of appealing to the live crowd. Like I said, that’s fine for a show that has a lot of momentum but Raw had two decent shows in a row and that’s about it. Something needs to be fixed around here and it needs to happen in a hurry.

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