Here’s a preview from the Wrestlemania 15 redo which sums up the Attitude Era:

We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on DX and joined the Corporation I believe late last year. A few weeks before this she was holding HHH for a fireball shot from Kane, only to take it herself. HHH standing up for the honor of his friend who isn’t his friend anymore because she turned on him. As an act of friendship, HHH painted himself gold and wore a flowery robe while imitating a crossdresser and launched a flamethrower at Kane, burning him again.  Later in the show, Chyna would turn on Kane and reunite with HHH, only to have BOTH of them turn HALF AN HOUR LATER to join the Corporation.

This of course is REAL entertainment, unlike what we got on Monday night right?  Oh wait Cena sometimes makes jokes aimed at ten year olds so he isn’t entertaining right?  Clearly it’s time to turn him heel, like everyone else in the Attitude Era did, sometimes more than once an hour!

Monday Nigh Raw (Saturday Night Raw)
Date: February 13, 1999
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 41,432
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is yet another go home/special show which feels like all I do in 1999. Due to something airing on USA on Monday, Raw was pushed back to Saturday, which is the day before the PPV. The main event tonight is a gauntlet of some kind with Austin having to face the entire Corporation for some kind of prize. I’ve also done the Raw after this and the link is at the end. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Rumble where Austin was ambushed by the Corporation.

Here’s Austin to open the show to a HUGE pop. He can’t wait until tomorrow night to get his hands on McMahon, who better have his track shoes on so he can run for as long as he can. After that, he’s going to walk over Vince’s body and head straight to Wrestlemania. Austin guarantees bloodshed, and it’s not going to be his. Cole: “That means it’s going to be the boss’!” Seriously, he was the BEST they could do? REALLY?

Cue Mankind who likes the sound of the word bloodshed. He says that he might have to go get some of Vince’s blood on his new white shirt tomorrow night. That’s a bit morbid wouldn’t you say? Anyway Mankind says that he’s ready for Wrestlemania, but tonight one of the two of them is going to take a beating. He reminds Austin that he’s the WWF Champion until he isn’t anymore. See, when Foley says things like that he can get away with it. When Cole says it, he sounds like an idiot.

Here’s the Corporation with Rock saying that he needs to clear a few things up. He gives Mankind directions to the Smackdown Hotel, but says instead of checking Mankind in, he’s going to bash Mankind’s brains in. Rock calls himself the chosen one which isn’t a name that ever stuck. As for Austin, Vince says that Steve has no chance, just like he had at the Rumble. He loved hearing himself announced as the winner of the Rumble, and he’d like to hear it again on Sunday.

Vince guarantees that none of the Corporation will interfere in the match. If they do, he’ll fire all of them and they’ll all be out of jobs. After Sunday, nothing will be the same for Austin. Also tonight, Austin will be facing Mankind in a non-title match with Vince as guest referee. Vince’s face was AWESOME here as he looked downright maniacal.

Mark Henry stares at Debra.

D’Lo Brown vs. Jeff Jarrett

Before the match, Brown has a surprise for Henry. To make sure Henry stays focused, here’s someone nice he can look at. Brown introduces the debuting Ivory, basically as Henry’s love slave. Jarrett jumps Brown to start and hits a DDT onto the arm. Brown comes back with a spinwheel kick as Henry hits on Ivory. Jeff puts on the Figure Four but Ivory’s distraction lets Brown escape and hit the Sky High. Nothing here.

Post match we get a catfight.

Earlier today, Val Venis and Ryan Shamrock were spotted at a hotel.

We recap Val and the Shamrocks, which has ticked Ken off to no end.

Here are Val and the very good looking Ryan. Kevin Kelly asks them about about why they’re doing this and sex lines ensue. Ken runs out and beats up Val. He beats up some referees too because he’s insane.

Val says he’s going to take care of Ken tonight.

Goldust vs. Gillberg

Goldust gets some blue roses before the match. Gillberg tries the spear and is shoved away with ease. Goldie stomps away and hits a clothesline followed by the Curtain Call. Here’s Blue Dust who is shown on the screen with just some grapes covering him up. Gillberg rolls up Goldust for the pin.

Gillberg gets Shattered Dreams as a reward, followed by Goldust getting a Blue Bath, meaning he’s covered in blue paint.

Earl Hebner says that none of his referees will officiate Shamrock’s match Sunday. If a replacement can’t be found, Shamrock has to forfeit the title. Couldn’t that be used by corrupt referees to cost someone a title?

Here’s DX with something to say. Apparently on Sunday it’s HHH/Pac vs. Chyna/Kane. HHH tells Chyna that she can’t even draw a walk in the game because she doesn’t have any balls. Pac wants Kane as well and says bring it. Road Dogg says there’s not going to be a third fall in the 2/3 falls match with Snow. He moonwalks here a bit for no apparent reason.

Gunn takes off his shirt off and reveals his referee shirt. Dogg: “You want a job at Foot Locker?” Billy is going to referee the IC Title match and that’s it. Nothing more to this segment than that: everyone talking about their matches and setting them up a bit better. Why don’t we get this more often today? Oh that’s right: we need 958 recaps and to have the GM talk for an hour a night anymore.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Vince is guest referee and this is non-title. He has the two guys come to the middle and says that anything goes here. The use of assorted furniture is acceptable and kicks to the groin would be appreciated. Austin says someone is taking a beating, but it’s not himself or Mankind. Vince stares Austin down and turns around into Mr. Socko and the Claw. The Corporation runs out for the save but are easily beaten down. No match of course.

Post break, Vince puts Austin in the Corporation Gauntlet, minus Rock.

Godfather vs. Viscera

Mideon sits in on commentary and has an eyeball in a jar. Godfather pounds away on the fat man and gets a boot up in the corner to block a charge. Godfather gets Viscera down with a suplex but Mideon runs in for the fast DQ.

Val and Ken are fighting in the back and Billy Gunn is dragged into it.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Let it continue. Pac fires off kicks to start but a spinwheel kick is caught in a spinebuster for two. Kane throws him around even more before sending Pac to the floor. The big man tries to crush Pac with the steps but hits the post instead. A dropkick sends Kane off the apron and we head back inside. Chyna comes in for the lame DQ.

HHH saves Pac from a Chyna Pedigree.

Road Dogg is out cold in the back and bleeding from behind the ear. Medics look at him but he says to find Billy, who didn’t do this to him.

Here’s Al Snow with something to say. He says that he’s going to take his Hardcore Title back and claims that Roadie stabbed him and Head in the back. Snow wants a hardcore match and issues an open challenge, but no one answers. His answer is to have one with himself, so he beats himself up with weapons. We have a referee for no apparent reason as Snow puts himself through a table. Bob Holly comes out to help Al but gets punched for his efforts. They brawl into the crowd and I guess this is a match. Back to ringside quickly and they hit each other with chairs. Referees pull them apart so this wasn’t really even a match.

Droz beats up Kevin Kelly for calling him a punk.

Steve Blackman vs. The Rock

Rock pounds away to start but Blackman comes back with his usual kicks. Steve pounds away but gets caught in a DDT for a big pop. Rock heads to the floor and FINALLY tells us that he’s cooking a nice Rockwich with extra Rock Sauce. Back in and Blackman gets in some kicks, only to miss a bicycle kick. Rock Bottom and Elbow end this.

Rating: D+. Total squash here which is exactly what it was designed to be. Not everything has to be some big and epic match, and this is a good example of that. Rock would go on to be world champion again very soon, but he just fought a midcard guy. The thing is: it worked fine. Try this and I think you’ll be ok modern WWE.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

Vince talks trash to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Definitely not their strongest show, but they set up the cage match pretty well. The world title match was glossed over though, which is pretty annoying in general. I don’t even think the stipulation (last man standing) was mentioned here at all. After those two matches though, the level of interest fall off a cliff. I had to look up the rest of the card and I just watched the go home show. That’s a bad sign.

Here’s St. Valentine’s Day Massacre if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/st-valentines-day-massacre-austin-vs-mcmahon-one-on-one/

Here’s the February 15^th Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/16/monday-night-raw-february-15-1999-the-forgotten-rock-vs-mankind-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 1999
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 15,538
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It was a good night for the Corporation last night as Vince won the Rumble and Rock won the title back from Mankind in one of the most brutal matches you’ll ever see. This is kind of like a go home show in an odd way as we have Halftime Heat on Sunday. Anyway tonight we have Rock defending his newly won title against HHH in another I Quit match. I’ve also already done the next week’s show and the link is below as usual. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills and audio from last night where Rock cost Austin the Rumble and gave the win to Vince.

Cole’s voice is gone as he shouted a lot last night.

Shane brings out Vince to start the show. The Corporation comes out with the boss and carries him on their shoulders. Oh and Vince finally has his signature theme music now. Vince: “I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!” Well I’d hope so. Things usually fell apart when he wasn’t around. Vince talks about how Rock also won last night and says that since Rock was at ringside (distracting Austin), he gets the $100,000 bounty.

Apparently Rock didn’t get much sleep last night. He was out partying all night, but once he got home he broke into a cold sweat because he’s facing Vince at Wrestlemania. However, that’s not a problem because Vince has filed paperwork to say that he’s no longer the #1 contender. He gets to pick the challenger though. Vince says that Austin will never get another title shot, nor will he get another match with Vince.

This brings Austin to the Titantron, live from Texas (remember that we’re in Arizona). Austin says that he’s going to Wrestlemania, which Vince says is because Austin is buying a ticket. You know, because Austin couldn’t get any match on the card. Austin says he’ll be in the main event, and the Commissioner says so. We go to a wider shot to show Shawn Michaels next to Austin. Did I forget to mention that we were in San Antonio, Texas?

Shawn says that he’s giving Austin protection from himself. If Austin was in the arena tonight, he would destroy Vince and that’s not good. Apparently Shawn has taken a look at the WWF Rule Book (oh I’d LOVE to get my hands on a copy of that) and it says that if the winner of the Rumble steps aside, the person that comes in second gets the title shot. Vince looks like he’s about to be sick.

Austin says he’d love to have the title back but he’d rather beat up Vince more. Therefore on Valentine’s Day, he’ll put up the title shot if Vince will face him in a match. If Vince wins, Austin loses the title shot. However, Austin doesn’t want Vince to be able to run, so let’s make it a cage match. Austin sweetens the offer, saying he’ll NEVER get another title shot. That’s enough for Vince, so Austin guarantees victory. This came off as really serious, which is why Shawn smiling in the background was so annoying. Good stuff though.

An armored truck, presumably with Rock’s money, arrives.

Billy Gunn vs. Goldust

Gunn’s ankle is still messed up from last night. HHH says no catchphrase tonight, because he wants Rocky right here. He doesn’t think Rock made Mankind say I Quit and he knows Rock can’t make him say I Quit. HHH remembers the last time they fought for a title when HHH took the IC Title off Rock, but for once, be a man and accept the challenge.

Oh yeah we have a match here. Goldust jumps Billy from behind and tries for Shattered Dreams about a minute in. Billy counters by mooning Goldie, making him miss a cross body. Now Goldust’s music and pyro go off, and the Blue Freaking Meanie comes out dressed as Blue Dust. Billy gets two off a rollup and three off a piledriver after Blue Dust hit Goldie with the Head. Angle advancement here.

Mankind is here.

Here are the Oddities for a match but Rock interrupts. Rock tells them to get out of the ring and accepts HHH’s challenge for later tonight. Rock is done, but we cut to Mankind in the back as he hijacks the armored truck. He takes a bag of money out of it and heads to the arena. Mankind comes to the arena and says that Rock has his title, but Mankind has Rock’s money. He starts throwing the money away and tells Rock to stay back.

Mankind says he remembers getting hit in the head by a chair a bunch of times, but he does not remember saying that he quit. Instead he remembers being unconscious. However, with the help of the production team, he thinks he’s solved the mystery. We get a clip from Heat of Mankind screaming at Shane that he’ll never say the words I Quit. He says them in a very specific way, and interestingly enough, the time when he said the words in the match were in the exact same tone and speech pattern. Also, he doesn’t appear to move when he gave up, which makes Rock angry. Cole: “I KNEW IT!”

Therefore, Rock has no legitimate claim to that title. Mankind wants his rematch, and he wants it during Halftime Heat, in an empty arena match. This was actually a very clever way to make sure very few spoilers got out. As for the money, Socko is going on a shopping spree. Rock says deal, so Mankind says Have A Nice Day!

Droz vs. George Steele

Wait, because here’s Mideon to ask Lawler and Cole if they can see it. Whatever it is, it’s going to cover the place. For no apparent reason, George is in sunglasses. He immediately bites Droz’s arm and hits Drozdov in the arm with some kind of spike. The turnbuckle is bitten open, but Droz rams him into the buckle for the pin.

The Oddities save Steele from the beating.

The Stooges give the tag champs advice and also some salt peter to drink. For those of you unfamiliar, it’s stuff used in the military to tone down male sex drives.

Debra says no one can resist her. Mark Henry comes up to hit on her and Debra seems interested.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock

Boss Man vs. Jarrett to start with Boss Man cleaning house. The baseball slide into the right hand has Jeff in trouble (he and Owen are challenging) but he avoids a charging Boss Man in the corner. Owen comes in and stomps away, drawing a nugget chant. A big clothesline from Shamrock puts Owen down as Debra tries to blow kisses at Shamrock. An enziguri puts Ken down as does a powerslam, which gets two.

There’s the spinwheel kick to Shamrock’s jaw but a top rope dropkick misses. Debra gets on the apron and opens her jacket to reveal her bra, but Shamrock suplexes Owen anyway. Debra takes off her top entirely and there’s the ankle lock to Owen. Everything breaks down and cue the Blue Blazer with a guitar shot to Shamrock, giving Owen and Jeff the titles.

Rating: C-. Most of that is for Debra, which says a lot about this match. Nothing to see here for the most part as Owen and Jarrett weren’t that interesting as champions, but they would hold the belts until after Wrestlemania. Tag team wrestling was getting desperate for a new team to take the division by storm, but it would be another seven months before that happened.

Owen says he’s vindicated because he’s not the Blazer.

Here are Shane with the Stooges and some REALLY bad music. Shane has an issue with Kane, as he’s screwed Vince over lately. Last night after the Rumble, Kane came up to the McMahon suite and apologized. Shane invites Kane down to the ring and here’s the Big Fried Freak. Shane asks Kane to repeat the apology, but in public. Kane uses the voicebox to talk but Shane wants Kane on his knees. Surprisingly enough Kane does it, but that’s STILL not good enough, because Kane was only on one knee.

This brings out X-Pac who says that the Corporation needs to back off. Kane is too big and tough to take this kind of nonsense. He offers Kane a spot in DX and challenges Shane to a fight right now. This earns him a chokeslam from Kane, who apparently wants to stay in the Corporation because they have good dental. Shane gives Pac a Bronco Buster.

Earlier today, PMS took D’Lo Brown shopping. They want him to get them feminine hygiene products. Egads Terri acting is not a pretty sight. Nothing about Jackie is a pretty sight. He has to get a price check and the clerk recognizes him.

Here’s Val Venis’ latest video: Saving Ryan’s Privates/Sister Act. Naturally it’s focused on him and Shamrock’s siter Ryan, setting up Shamrock’s next title defense. It’s Val getting into the shower with Ryan, likely much to Shamrock’s chagrin.

Val Venis vs. Test

Nothing of note happens until Ken comes out and blasts Billy with a chair, sending him into the pumphandle slam for the pin.

Billy Gunn comes out for the save but Val thinks Billy hit him with the chair. Val takes out the bad ankle and we’ve got a threeway feud.

Road Dogg/Al Snow vs. Gangrel/Edge

This is a hardcore tag match and the non-vampires jump the fang dudes as they come up through their ring of fire. They brawl up on the stage before going down onto the concrete. Make that into the back as we can barely keep track of what’s going on. Gangrel crushes both of the opponents with a dumpster before Edge beats on Dogg some more. They fight into the back as Gangrel has silverware thrown at him.

Roadie gets hit in the back by a chair and put on the catering table. Snow and Edge slam chairs together before they fight into the women’s room. The Ho’s are chased out of there and Snow walks out with a toilet seat around his neck. All four guys go on top of something too dark to see before crashing through a table. Blue Dust was involved in there somewhere, giving Snow Head back. Dogg pins Gangrel.

Rating: D+. The problem here was that you couldn’t see a thing for the most part. It was one of those “let’s walk around and find whatever we can to throw each other into” matches which aren’t the easiest things in the world to talk about. The Brood would be switched up to give us Edge and Christian soon after this.

Taker says the evil begins tonight.

Snow wants another shot at the Hardcore Title, but wants 2/3 falls. Dogg says it’s a deal, but here’s the Ministry to beat all of them down. Mabel was brought into the team last night.

Taker is watching from his throne and says this will be a holy war.

Buy the PPV replay even though we’ve told you all the results!

WWF World Title: HHH vs. The Rock

I Quit match. HHH takes over to start with a bunch of punches both in the middle of the ring as well as in the corner. Just in case one of the areas got lonely I’m assuming. Rock gets sent to the floor and there’s a baseball slide. The champ starts to walk away so they fight up to the stage. HHH is rammed into the set but he comes back with a clothesline to take over. Rock won’t say it so HHH rams his head into the stage.

Back to ringside where HHH is sent into the timekeeper’s table. It’s time for some Rock commentary with Rock saying HHH is half gay anyway. There’s a line you wouldn’t hear ever after the 90s. That fires HHH up enough to take it back into the crowd where he chokes Rock with a cord. Back into the ring we go but HHH gets the bell and hammer. Rock comes back with a spinebuster and drops the Elbow onto HHH with the bell. All that gets is HHH telling Rock what he can suck.

HHH pops up and hits a Pedigree out of nowhere but it doesn’t do much good here. We head back to the floor where HHH hits a second Pedigree. He loads up a third on the announce table but here’s the Corporation with Kane holding Chyna by the hair. Either HHH quits or Chyna gets drilled. HHH quits to end the match when Rock was dead to rites.

Rating: C+. It’s Rock vs. HHH, meaning it’s automatically worth a look. The ending kept HHH looking strong which is good as he was about to get pushed further up the card. Rock looked good here as well and the ending was ambiguous because he might not have given up. Things would be changing very soon for HHH and for the better.

Here are the beginning of those changes, as Chyna hits HHH low and joins the Corporation. A big HHH beatdown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can see the screwiness coming already. The good thing about these shows is they go by so fast that you can’t really tell if they’re bad or not. Austin vs. Vince would of course be huge but it would be overtaken by Undertaker’s insanity for the next few months. The main problem continues to be the midcard, which ranges from just ok to horrible. Not a bad show here, but 1999 just isn’t a good year from a quality standpoint.

Here’s Halftime Heat if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/12/16/halftime-heat-the-stupidest-camera-angle-of-all-time/

Here’s the February 1^st if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/02/15/monday-night-raw-february-1-1999-300th-episode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Since I’m done with 1998 and 2001, the most logical step would be do fill in the gap with 1999 and 2000. Since I don’t want to take over two years to get through these years, I’ll be doing four episodes at a time instead of two, starting with January 1999. In other words, it won’t be two episodes from 99 and then two from 2000 like I did before. This is the year where WWF put its boot on WCW’s neck and crushed them and it should be interesting to see how they did it. Let’s get to it.

Since it’s one of the most famous episodes of Raw ever, I’ve already done the first show of the year. Here’s the review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/24/monday-night-raw-january-4-1999-foley-wins/

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,585
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re two weeks away from the Rumble and we have a new WWF Champion in the form of Mankind. The main stories going on are Vince is the #2 entrant in the Rumble to Austin’s #1, as well as Rock wanting his title match and revenge on Mankind. This is the start of one of the least wrestling heavy years in company history so let’s get to it.

Here’s DX to open the show. After playing to the crowd a bit here’s the NEW WWF World Champion Mankind, complete with his debuting signature song. The McMahons are in the back and getting all ticket off. Foley talks about always wanting to get here and now wants JR to call a match of his as world champion (JR was having health issues at this point mind you).

The champ thanks DX for helping him out last week and Austin for, you know, knocking Rock out cold and all that. Mankind throws the fans a big bone, saying that as long as he’s world champion, Austin will always have a shot at the title and he’d love for it to be at Wrestlemania.

Cue Rock and the McMahons with Rock of course as they can’t stand anymore. Shane doesn’t get the fascination with Mankind, but tonight he’ll do something about DX, meaning they all have matches tonight. Also tonight is the Corporate Rumble, where the winner will be #30 in the Rumble. Rock grabs the mic and says that Mankind didn’t beat him because he needed Austin to help. Ignore the fact that it was technically a clean win because it was anything goes I guess. As for Austin, Rock will take care of him later. Yep, at Wrestlemania.

As for tonight, Rock wants his rematch right here and now. The champ says that he’s already beaten Rock twice, so clearly he’s not championship material. Points for a funny line to Mankind for that one. Rock offers another No DQ match but Mankind won’t bite. Rock offers No Countout but Mankind isn’t persuaded. They trade catchphrases for a bit until Mankind finally says he’ll do it in an I Quit match. Rock seems scared but has to take what he can get. Vince makes Mankind vs. Kane for tonight.

Somehow that took over twenty minutes to get through. Thank you Vince Russo for making this a trend in wrestling.

Austin is here.

The Outlaws think Debra is distracting.

New Age Outlaws vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

Winners get a title shot, presumably at the Rumble. It’s Gunn vs. Owen to start and there’s a gorilla press to Owen and one for Jeff as well. Gunn cranks on the arm of Owen and brings in Roadie for the shaky knee drop and the running crotch attack to Owen’s back as Owen is draped over the middle rope. SOMEONE NAME THAT FREAKING MOVE ALREADY! Off to Jarrett who immediately gets caught in an atomic drop but comes back with a bulldog.

After some heel double teaming, Owen’s Sharpshooter attempt is easily countered and it’s off to Jarrett. In a reunion of the country music act that went on WAY too long, Roadie and Jarrett collide, setting up the double hot tag to Owen and Gunn. With Billy cleaning house, here’s Debra to distract with the yet to be named Puppies. That goes nowhere for Billy (he’s saving himself for Chuck of course) but Chyna goes after her for some reason. That distraction is enough for Owen to roll up Billy for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of the better Outlaws match from a wrestling perspective, which I’m sure had something to do with the fact that it only lasted about four minutes. Owen and Bulldog would win the titles soon after this and hold them until after Wrestlemania. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t the worst match ever.

The Outlaws yell at Chyna for costing them the match.

And now, it is time……for Gillberg. In one of the funniest parodies of all time, the new Light Heavyweight Champion Duane Gill has become Gillberg, complete with the LONG walk from the back, the heavily (and intentionally fake) piped in chants, Gillberg going insane like Goldberg, and the police escort. This is still funny even to this day. We’ve even got the JOB Squad holding up sparklers for the pyro but Gillberg chokes on the smoke. Gillberg wants to know who’s first, and now we get to the real joke.

Gillberg vs. Luna Vachon

Gillberg misses a spear, gets his eyes raked across the top rope, has his Jackhammer countered into a cross body, and is pinned by Luna in about thirty seconds.

Some guy is in a dungeon. This would be revealed as Mideon.

Here’s Val Venis for a match but first he sees a good looking woman in the front row to hit on. Cue Ken Shamrock to destroy Val, shouting to stay away from his sister. This brings out Billy Gunn who says he’s going to moon Ken’s sister. Billy gets a beating as well but Val comes in to beat up Shamrock. Boss Man comes out to save his partner and the ring is cleared. Shamrock gives Billy a shot at the IC Title at the Rumble, because that’s what you do when someone moons your sister.

Mankind and Austin are talking about something.

European Title: Al Snow vs. X-Pac

Pac is defending if you’ve forgotten. Snow takes over to start and pounds away in the corner with headbutts. The champ gets his boot up in the corner but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him right back down. A powerslam puts Pac down again but the moonsault misses. Pac spinwheel kicks Snow into the corner and hits the Bronco Buster…and here’s Goldust. He blasts Snow in the head with Head, allowing Pac to retain the title. Why Goldie was here and what help Snow needed is beyond me but it’s 1999 so what are you going to do?

Al gets hit by Head again by Goldust.

Kane is sure he can win the title on his own. He doesn’t talk but you get the point.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. Kane

Kane charges right at him and we immediately head to the floor. The champ is sent into the steps before he sends Kane into them as well. Mankind dives off the apron to send Kane back first into the steps to slow the Big Fried Freak down. Back in and Kane pounds away, only to run into an elbow in the corner. As has been the case with this match, Kane isn’t that interested in selling so he slams the champ down and kicks him in the face. It’s not going to last long but the idea of two monsters slugging it out until one can’t get up anymore is always fun.

There’s a piledriver to put Kane down and we head back to the floor. That doesn’t last long as Kane rams him into the barricade and heads back inside for two. Top rope clothesline gets two, as does the Double Arm DDT Mankind gets after kicking Kane low. The champ puts on Socko but gets rammed into the corner (again). He jumps on Kane’s back to try to get the Claw on again but Kane counters into a tombstone for no cover. As Kane crawls over, Rock runs in with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the crowd was NUTS for Mankind. The guy was on fire at this point and he more than deserved the title. While I’m not at all wild on the new champion getting destroyed here, the ending makes sense as Rock wants to get his revenge on Mankind rather than Kane. Not bad here, but it was short as expected.

Post match Austin comes out to save Mankind but winds up Stunning both masked dudes.

Vince yells at Rock but Rock says he wants to beat Mankind for the title.

HHH vs. Edge

Now here’s a match that would be VERY different in a few years. HHH takes him down to start and pounds away but a charge in the corner hits buckle. A spinwheel kick puts HHH down and we take a break. Back with Edge hitting a clothesline and a kind of bulldog for two. HHH makes his comeback with punches and the flying knee, followed by a boot to the face of a charging Edge in the corner. After a quick comeback by Edge, the Pedigree ends this. Nothing to see here, but man alive it’s weird to see these two in this spot.

Immediately post match the lights go out and Roadie gets a blood bath.

Cue the druids and we’ve got an Undertaker symbol. The Acolytes bring out Dennis Knight on a board. Then a tall dark man in a robe comes out to Undertaker’s music. Cole: “I THINK THAT’S THE UNDERTAKER!” Taker sits on a throne in front of the symbol and talks about how people have tried to put him down but he’s come back with a vengeance. The Ministry of Darkness is going to destroy the heroes and the plague of darkness is coming. He talks about how he’ll have few followers but it won’t matter.

Bearer pulls out a knife of some kind and Taker walks over to Knight. Knife in hand, Taker speaks in tongues over Knight….and slices his own wrist open. He pours the blood into a goblet and pours it down Knight’s throat. You want to talk about something that makes me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan, this would be a good place to start. Taker dubs him Mideon and starts carving symbols into his chest. A blot of lightning hits the symbol and it lights on fire. Mideon starts LEVITATING to end the segment. This actually happened on a wrestling show, I kid you not. Somehow, this would actually get worse.

D’Lo says he’ll do whatever Terri asks but this is too much. This is because Terri lost her baby or whatever.

D’Lo Brown vs. Mark Henry

No match, as Terri immediately hits Mark low. Chyna and Sammi make the save. If you don’t know who Sammi is……oh you will very soon.

Vince is in the snow running to a bad Rocky imitation. Shane has a bullhorn and is coaching Vince along. Now Vince has to chase a chicken. Vince: “I’M THE CEO OF A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY!” After the training they go to a steakhouse, but instead of eating, Vince gets to beat on the meat in the back. More funny stuff here.

Corporate Rumble

This is a mini-Rumble where the winner gets to be #30. We open with Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn (not in the Corporation so I guess this is an open field for some reason?) and after a break we’re ready to go. Oh apparently this is DX vs. the Corporation. Why would Vince agree to that? Shamrock kicks Gunn off the apron before Gunn gets in and DIVES ONTO THE FLOOR, eliminating himself in the process.

Shamrock pounds away on Billy as Shane cheers him on. The Boss Man is #3 and Billy is in big trouble already. Gunn comes back with a forearm but Boss Man chokes him down. Test is #4 (I think the intervals are about once a minute) to make it two on one. A big boot put Gunn down but they can’t eliminate him. Thankfully X-Pac is #5 but after only a few seconds, Test hiptosses Billy out.

The layout powerbomb puts Pac down but Road Dogg is #6. He’s still got the blood all over him and nothing happens until Kane is #7. A clothesline puts Roadie out and Pac is stuck 3-1. HHH is #8 and things speed up. Test accidentally hits Kane and gets knocked out as a result. HHH and Pac take out Kane but Pac is eliminated in the process. That leaves HHH vs. Boss Man….until Vince is a surprise entrant at #9.

Shane of course erupts as Vince sneaks in and eliminates both guys to seemingly win the thing. He tears his shirt off ala Hogan, but Chyna is another surprise entrant at #10. The place goes nuts but the Stooges won’t let her get in. Chyna decks both of them and here comes Austin. The distraction is enough to let Chyna throw Vince out (apparently knocking him out cold in the process) and get the #30 spot. Shane freaks to end the show.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade because the wrestling barely existed, but the fan reaction was incredible, as Vince got a ton of heat but Chyna’s pop was even better. Good surprise here but as usual, it’s all about the payoff and nothing about the buildup to that payoff. Such is life in the Attitude Era.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, as goes the main event so goes the rest of the show. The problem here is that there’s nothing really good from a wrestling perspective, but it did a great job at building up the Rumble, as well as giving us two hilarious bits with Gillberg and Vince’s training. The problem is you have the Ministry starting, which is just completely terrible and drags things WAY down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 1998
Location: Tsongas Arena, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on Saturday again for our first of two Raws in three days. We’re continuing the push to Breakdown on the 28th. We’re in the full stretch of Austin vs. Vince now as Vince is trying to have Kane and Undertaker get the title off Austin by manipulating them somehow. Other than that we’re kind of transitioning from the Summer to the end of the year which culminates at Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

The arena looks really different here as the aisle is shaped like an L instead of a straight line, so the video screen (not the Titantron) is on the opposite side from the camera instead of on the side if that makes sense.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Edge

Jarrett takes over quickly and rams Edge into the buckle. Edge comes back with an enziguri and here’s Southern Justice with a guitar. Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. They’re going back and forth very quickly here. Out to the floor goes Edge but he comes back with a top rope cross body for two. Jarrett hits what would become the Stroke for no cover. DDT gets two for Jarrett as does a catapult into the buckle for Edge. Edge hits two Amigos and a sitout gordbuster for the third. And there’s the guitar shot for the DQ loss for Jarrett.

Rating: C. This was getting good until the end with the lame ending. Edge was a great addition to the roster in a few years but here he was still learning his stuff pretty slowly. Jarrett got MUCH better after getting his haircut and starting the guitar stuff. Also dropping the stupid country music stuff helped a lot.

Austin vs. Kane vs. Undertaker later tonight. Gee that’s kind of a quick addition.

Bradshaw vs. Darren Drozdov

Droz has a torn bicep coming into this. Bradshaw runs him down almost immediately and suplexes Droz for two. Droz comes back with a powerslam but gets backdropped to the floor. Back in the big boot misses and Drozdov hits a big shoulder block to take over. Apparently that triple threat I mentioned earlier is for Breakdown, not tonight. Droz counters the Clothesline and hits a DDT followed by a three point clothesline for two. Bradshaw scoops the feet in the corner and puts his own feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but I never got the appeal of Droz. When you have what he had as a gimmick there’s only so far you can go but he tried. Bradshaw was just waiting for the APA to hook up so he’d have anything to do. Until then he was just a ticked off Texan of which there were about a hundred over the years. Not bad, but just a filler.

I think this show was more like a special rather than a full episode of Raw as we get a long recap of Austin/Kane/Undertaker from over the summer.

Mark Mero vs. Miguel Perez

Yeah this is acting a lot more like a special as there aren’t any promos or anything but a bunch of quick matches. Also it seems like this show is a little shorter than most usual ones. Feeling out process to start as Perez is using his speed advantage to take over. A dropkick puts Mero on the floor and Marc slows things down a bit. Top wristlock gets no one anywhere but Mero takes over with a clothesline in the corner. Perez comes back with a dropkick and standing moonsault for two. DDT gets the same but Perez walks into the TKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here but it was a glorified squash which I’m not a fan of. At the very least we didn’t have to hear Jackie talk during this. Perez was never on Raw again so at least he went out losing. Granted I don’t think I ever saw him win so this isn’t a shock. Is it clear I’m trying to fill in this space yet?

The Oddities aren’t worried about the DOA later.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Oddities

Golga and Kurrgan here. The ICP play them to the ring again here which was probably a bigger deal back then. Kurrgan and I think Skull start things off before it’s time for the jumping Cartman loving Earthquake. King has Golga’s Cartman next to him with the crown on it. Golga loads up the Earthquake….and the top rope breaks. It falls off the corner and Golga gets choked with it. The ICP run in for the DQ because the ring is broken.

The clowns get beaten up post match.

Here’s Rock with something to say. He wants to talk about the ladder match at Summerslam where he beat up HHH for thirty minutes but then HHH climbed the ladder and stole the Rock’s Intercontinental Title. The Rock will always be the People’s Champion though. Lately though people have had issues knowing their roles. Those people would be the Undertaker and Kane. Kane isn’t going to get away with chokeslamming the Rock and sometime soon Rock will be coming for Kane. This would be something very close to a face turn.

And now for something completely different, here’s the Lion’s Den match from Summerslam, in its entirety.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This match is taking place in a theater adjacent to MSG. I know that because Ross said that this match is taking place in a theater adjacent to MSG. So this is the WWF version of the UFC cage but they’re wrestling a WWF style match in there, which is about what you’d expect I guess, as it’s pretty clear Shamrock wouldn’t have much trouble in a real MMA fight with Owen.

Hart would hang on for awhile, but it’s not likely he would have much of a chance in the long run. The cage offers some different effects, but it’s nothing earth shattering. It’s better than a normal match would have been though, as it suits Shamrock very well. Speaking of that, he hits a sweet move as he gets a running start and plants his foot on the cage to jump backwards and catch Owen with I think either a back elbow or a dropkick.

Either way it looks very good and he nailed him with it. The cage isn’t really offering a lot of differences, but the main one is on whips. With no ropes, you’re just hitting cage, which has to hurt pretty badly. Hart gets the sharpshooter, which Ross says no one does better. Remind me never to leave WWF.

This is likely the coolest spot of the match as Shamrock crawls to the cage and climbs it while in the Sharpshooter, forcing the hold to be broken. The problem is they just brush over it, despite it being brilliant. Owen gets a choke on him but Shamrock runs up the cage to backflip out of it and gets the real ankle lock, not the Angle lock, to get the win.

Rating: B-. This was a weird concept and I guess it worked. It didn’t really fail, but it just wasn’t the best thing in the world. Overall the in cage stuff was fine, but it just wasn’t to my liking and I’m glad it only happened like three times. Shamrock never quite clicked in the WWF until the next year, so that can’t get here soon enough.

Too Much vs. Southern Justice

Christopher and Knight start with Lawler playing cheerleader for his son. Off to Taylor who doesn’t have the same luck. Knight kicks him in the chest which gets a hug from Christopher. From what I can tell, Too Much was going to be Billy and Chuck in the Attitude Era but it didn’t come together. It turns into a power vs. speed match as Brian tries a cross body out of the corner but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Hot tag brings in Scotty but there’s too much power for Too Much and the Slop Drop pins Scotty.

Rating: D. Whatever again here man. It’s very clear that this is just a placeholder show until we get to the real stuff again in two days. That gets really annoying though as we have to sit through a show with stuff like we’ve gotten so far. I watched Summerslam so why would I want to see that match again on Raw?

Promo of the old guys saying they love the new generation.

Dustin Runnels vs. Vader

Dustin is wearing the “He Is Coming Back” shirt. Vader drills him and pounds him down but is too fat to be Vader anymore. The beating goes on for awhile but Dustin gets in a shot to break the momentum. He makes his comeback (get it?) but sees Val in the crowd with a sign saying “I Have Come.” Ok that’s kind of funny. Vader jumps the distracted Dustin and actually wins the match with a Vader Bomb. This was very short.

Video on Sable, focusing on her match from Summerslam.

Al Snow is here and wants to talk to Vince. He gets Slaughter, Patterson and Brisco instead. It’s a comedy segment that ends with Patterson getting a shot between the legs from Head. Get this show over with already!

The Headbangers think it’s Saturday.

Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Brown and Mosh start things off with Mosh in control. Off to Thrasher who hits a flapjack for two. Henry comes in and it takes double teaming to take him down. A double suplex puts Henry down and it’s back to Mosh vs. D’Lo, with the latter hitting a running powerbomb for two. The Headbangers throw the Nation together and here’s Chyna for the DQ. Too short to mean anything but it was bad.

D-Generation X vs. Kai En Tai

Taka and Roadie start things off. The Outlaws double team Taka so it’s time for Funaki. Men’s Teioh comes in and the squash continues. HHH comes in and doesn’t bother to take his hat off. HHH chops him in the chest and hits the high knee before bringing Dogg back in. The heels take over and quadruple team Road Dogg with elbows and a dropkick from Taka. Top rope splash gets two for Togo. Road Dogg moves from a top rope splash from Taka and it’s off to Pac. Things speed up and everything breaks down. A gorilla press from Billy into the X-Factor pins Taka.

Rating: C-. A squash match to end this wretched show. For some reason that doesn’t surprise me. There was never any doubt that DX was going to win this and they never broke a sweat. The Nation didn’t even come out to try to avenge the earlier DQ loss. In other words, it’s a pretty worthless main event, although that finisher was cool.

HHH gets a fan to flash DX to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. For the love of all things good and holy, NEVER LET AUSTIN AND VINCE BE OFF THE SHOW AGAIN! This was one of the least interesting shows I can ever remember with no main event guys showing up and therefore making it almost a lame house show. I don’t know if everyone else was on vacation or what but this show came off like it was nothing. The ONLY thing of note here is Rock calling out Kane which could have been done on any other show. Just horrible and totally not needed, especially with regular Raw being back in two days.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 1998
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,727
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Man it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? I kind of gor sidetracked by some newer Raws and Superstars plus that whole Wrestlemania thing but we’re back now. This is the go home show for Summerslam so expect a final push for Undertaker vs. Austin. That show wound up being awesome so hopefully this one is too. Tonight is also the end of Brawl For All, THANK GOODNESS. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker and Kane come in through a back door. Or maybe it’s a locker room.

Theme song.

It was a locker room.

Taker and Kane come out together to open the show. JR calls Undertaker Mankind for some reason. The Cell is above the ring. Before they say anything, Vince comes out and is all smiles. It’s his birthday according to JR. Then again according to him the 7ft guy in all black will debut a sock puppet one day. Vince: “Well, Undertaker and Kane have finally come out of the casket.” Vince McMahon: True Blood writer?

Vince says he told us all so and he tells us that twice. He says that Undertaker doesn’t need him since he has Kane by his side now. However, once Undertaker becomes champion, there will be a time when he need Vince for his mind. Before the night is over, Vince wants an answer to the question “Vince McMahon: friend or foe?” Paul Bearer comes out and asks Kane if it’s true or a nightmare.

He says he’s the one that’s always been there for Kane and asks Kane to destroy Undertaker for daddy. Taker jumps Bearer and Kane walks away. Mankind comes out for the save….and gets beaten down by both brothers without fighting back at all. Kane loads up the Tombstone and Taker goes up top to make it a SPIKE TOMBSTONE. Why didn’t they bust that bad boy out more often?

Vince says now only Austin remains between Taker and the title. Cue Austin to keep this segment going. He pops up on the stage and a wall of fire comes up. Austin (now with the Smoking Skull belt. Not sure if that had been seen before) says he knew they were together all along and that he doesn’t appreciate being set on fire. He can’t beat both of them at once so tonight, he’s taking one of them out.

Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn

Mankind has been taken out in an ambulance. This is a result of the triple threat last week where Severn choked Shamrock out post match. They both fight for the leg control to start but Severn rolls into the ropes by mistake. He comes back with a powerbomb but doesn’t cover. After a gordbuster a powerslam gets two…and Owen runs in for the DQ. He chokes Shamrock but Blackman runs in to clear that up. This feud just kept going and going. Too short to rate but it was certainly different. Shamrock snaps and suplexes Blackman post match. Then Blackman suplexes Shamrock.

Mankind is out of the ambulance and playing with the stretcher.

Summerslam Highway video. This is still awesome.

Post break Mankind surfs down the ramp on a stretcher. He gets in the ring and says it was cahoots all along. A good cub scout should always be prepared and his good cub scout leader Mr. McMahon said that Kane wasn’t good but Mankind didn’t listen. Tonight it’s Kane vs. Mankind in the Cell. He wants to know what kind of idiot would get back into the same match that almost killed him. Somehow he’s going to throw Kane off the cage or through it, onto 7000 thumbtacks.

We get some clips of the “last” Cell match which is between Taker and Foley. Even they’re already disowning the tag team one.

Here’s Sable to announce the next match.

Marc Mero vs. Kurrgan

Sable dances with the Oddities pre match. No Jackie this week. She’d be at Summerslam for a mixed tag though. Mero asks the Oddities to leave which they do willingly. Kurrgan overpowers him down and dances a bit. Mero goes for the knee until Kurrgan picks him up and hits what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Jackie runs through the crowd and beats down Sable as Mero hits Kurrgan low for the DQ. This was pointless.

X-Pac relieves himself in someone’s boots.

Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

Someone with a deep voice pops in on commentary. He sounds like he’s doing a Terry Funk impression. Oh it’s Hawk who is bombed still. Jarrett comes out before the match with something to say but his mic doesn’t work. He gets on the headset and reveals those were his boots. Canterbury and Gunn start things off with the Outlaws taking over. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches. Jeff challenges him to a match which was already announced. Off to Knight for a suplex as the match is being ignored. With the referee distracted, Gunn piledrives Knight for the pin. The match was just a backdrop for Jarrett’s ranting.

Jarrett gets annoyed at the cameraman for shooting his boots so Southern Justice holds him for a haircut.

Mankind vs. Kane

Inside the Cell. Kane comes out first so once he’s in the Cell, Mankind tries to climb the cage. He beats up the referee that tries to stop him which lets him ram the cage door on Kane’s head. They fight outside the Cell and Foley tries to throw a chair on top of the cage twice, one of this might have hit Lawler on the way down. He tries to climb up and Taker pops up from out of nowhere to pull him off and through the table. They haven’t been inside the Cell together yet.

Now Kane comes back around to beat Mankind up some more. Kane drags him towards the door and slams it on Mankind’s body which is on the ground. Ok NOW they’re inside the cage together. Kane throws the steps into the ring and beats him in the head with it as Taker watches. He manages a dive over the top to the floor to take out Mankind before trying to throw the steps on top of him from the ring.

Mankind manages to sneak under the ring and comes out with a chair plus the bag of tacks. The chair shot to Kane’s head gets a HUGE pop which suggests the popularity Foley could have as a face. Chokeslam attempt is countered by the Claw but they slug it out instead. Piledriver to Kane sends him into the tacks without much force, but it’s not played up as a huge deal. Mankind goes up but Kane clocks him with a chair.

Chokeslam puts Foley down and there’s the tombstone but Kane won’t cover. Taker sends him a throat slit sign so Kane picks up another chair. Foley gets up and a pair of chair shots to the head puts him down. Mankind gets up AGAIN but walks into a tombstone on the chair. Austin pops out from under the ring (that’s a Russo Special) and destroys Kane, resulting in probably the only DQ in the history of the Cell.

Rating: C+. This was more about the ending of the match than the match itself. The main idea here though was to basically turn Foley face through feeling bad about the horrible beating he took. It’s not a great match or anything but it pretty much did its job. They would lose the titles on Sunday anyway so Kane and Mankind could split in peace.

Taker tries to get in to stop the beating but Vince raises the Cell to prevent Austin vs. Taker from happening before Sunday.

Post break Taker calls Austin a coward for jumping Kane. He says that seals Austin’s fate and tonight, he’ll take his revenge because it’s personal.

Here’s Chyna who wants to call out Rock because of the beating HHH got from the Nation last week. Before she says anything Rock is here. The rest of the Nation comes out as well with a ladder. I think I remember this segment happening live. Rock gets on the bottom rung of the ladder and shows Chyna a shot of DX’s locker room with a forklift in front of it. Rock talks about going to Summerslam, climbing the People’s ladder rung by rung and taking his Intercontinental Title back.

As for Chyna, he sees her looking at him with those bedroom eyes. She’s a very frustrated woman and Rock can’t blame her at all for that. The one conclusion is that Chyna needs to get some. About 2am tonight, Rock can be the man to give it to her. She lunges at him but Brown and Owen make her stop. Rock says she looks natural on her knees and leans down to kiss her but says he doesn’t kiss trash like you. Mark Henry however can do it but Shawn Michaels runs out with a chair to the head of Henry to save Chyna.

Post break DX is out of the room and looking for DX in the parking lot.

Val Venis vs. Taka Michnoku

This is technically a rematch from last week where Val ran the gauntlet but lost to Taka in the final match. Taka takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Val shrugs it off. Shawn is on commentary now but won’t tell us much his relationship with DX. Val powerbombs him and hits the Money Shot but HHH comes in with a chair shot to break it up.

HHH is MAD and says at Summerslam, Rocky belong to him. He was a bit more colorful than that but you get the idea.

We get an extended edition of the Austin vs. Taker video.

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Gangrel jumps him to start but Pac comes back with a spinning kick. Powerslam gets two for Gangrel and a powerbomb puts Pac down. A Swan Dive misses and Edge is watching. Pac comes back and hits the Bronco Buster but here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot for the DQ.

After DX gets X-Pac out of the ring, Edge runs in and beats down Gangrel.

Undertaker has a casket.

Brawl For All Finals: Bradshaw vs. Bart Gunn

THANK GOODNESS it ends here. I couldn’t take much more of this. We get a recap of this for some reason. Bart knocks him down in about ten seconds and the knockout is complete at 42 seconds. Dang I was hoping to get some reading in during this thing. Bart gets 75 grand and Bradshaw gets 25 grand, as this becomes one of the biggest jokes in company history. Bart didn’t get pushed AT ALL after this, other than forgettable and short feuds with Steve Williams and Hardcore Holly. No title shots, no big angles, no MMA gimmick change, nothing. We wasted six weeks on NOTHING.

Vince says he’ll get his answer tonight. You can hear stage directors saying to get the casket ready.

The lights go blue and the druids start chanting as some guy in a white jacket goes up the ramp for some reason. The druids brings out a casket and Undertaker follows with his new demonic music. Taker says Kane has his own business at Summerslam but for tonight, Taker wants Austin. Here’s Vince instead who asks friend or foe. He extends his hand and is promptly chokeslammed.

Austin pops out of the casket and talks trash to Vince. Now Kane pops out of the casket and beats up Austin while Undertaker watches. Austin gets to the floor and grabs a chair but walks away instead of fighting a losing battle. See, that’s how you have a smart but still tough face. In a cool visual, flames comes up (slowly) down the middle of the ramp, making it look like the dividing line on a highway, to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. They certainly did a good job of pushing Summerslam as I think every match got at least a mention other than Brown vs. Venis (which for some reason would last fifteen minutes). However the main event stuff felt like a month of stories in one night. Tonight alone we had: Vince telling Undertaker to pick, Austin attacking Kane in the Cell, Austin and Kane in the casket, Undertaker and Kane officially uniting, Paul Bearer pleading with Kane, and probably some other stuff I’m forgetting. All of that in ONE SHOW. It was a bit too much for me, but the PPV makes up for it.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

 

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

 

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

 

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

 

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

 

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

 

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

 

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop