ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 9, 2007
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Brad Armstrong

The road to the Royal Rumble continues but Test has thrown a bit of a monkey wrench into the ECW World Title plans. Last week saw Bobby Lashley defending his title against Rob Van Dam until Test interfered. Odds are that sets up a rematch here and then Test’s title shot at the Rumble, which is not the worst schedule. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Test interfering in last week’s title match. The rematch is on for tonight.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk starts fast with an armdrag but it’s too early for the Anaconda Vice. A powerslam can’t get the hold on either so Punk kicks him in the back. There’s a running clothesline to put Holly on the floor but Holly steps aside from the big dive. Back in and Holly bends him around the ropes, setting up the middle rope legdrop for two. Punk fights up with a dropkick and some running clotheslines but Holly shows him how a dropkick works. Holly sends him into the corner and the Alabama Slam puts Punk away.

Rating: C. As jarring as it is to see Punk take a loss in a singles match to Hardcore Holly of all people, the match itself worked out well enough. Holly did cheat a bit by sending him into the post, though it wasn’t like Punk was in control after the first thirty seconds or so. Not a bad match, but I’m a bit puzzled as to why Punk needed to take a loss. He’s pretty clearly a big part of the future around here, and he loses to Holly?

Test is told his match is next, but he just isn’t feeling it tonight because he should be getting the title shot against Bobby Lashley. Seems a little testy tonight.

Here’s Elijah Burke to say he is here alone because it is time to knock someone out on his own. Cue Sandman, who spends a pretty long time drinking on the way to the ring. With his head already busted open, Sandman gets in and blocks the first punch with the stick. Burke hits a few shots but Sandman canes him out to the floor in a segment that was slightly more interesting than I expected.

Video on Great Khali, who is now on Raw. ECW did not need to lose him so quickly, as they do not have any roster depth at the moment.

Great Khali vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Rules and Daivari is here with Khali. Dreamer tries to bring in the metal sign but gets stomped down in a hurry. A clothesline drops Dreamer and Khali pounds away in the corner. Dreamer goes to the eyes and hammers away with the sign, which Khali punches away. The double chokeslam gives Khali the fast pin.

Rob Van Dam has been accused of not caring about anything but he cares about the ECW World Title. Now he wants his title back and if he has to go through a great champion like Lashley to get it, that’s cool.

During the break, Tommy Dreamer pulled himself up to his feet. The guy never has been that bright.

Kevin Thorn vs. Shannon Moore

Ariel is here with Thorn. Moore charges at him to start and gets hammered down in a hurry. A big toss pulls Moore out of the corner and the Dark Kiss finishes for Thorn.

Kelly Kelly is back next week. She was gone long enough to warrant a return?

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam

Lashley is defending. Feeling out process to start, with Rob firing off the strikes and Lashley throwing him around. We take an early break and come back with Lashley’s spear hitting the corner, allowing Van Dam to hit a slingshot legdrop to the apron. The split legged moonsault gets two on Lashley and there’s the top rope kick to the face. A Figure Four headscissors keeps Lashley in trouble and his comeback is cut off with a kick to the head. Lashley hits a running clothesline in the corner though and we hit the torture rack.

Van Dam is right back up with a spinwheel kick so Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly. Lashley’s spear misses though and he goes flying to the floor but he’s fine enough to send Van Dam into the barricade. Back in and Lashley hits another running corner clothesline and some rolling suplexes put Van Dam down for two. Now the spear can connect but here’s Test to chair Lashley down.

Rating: C+. They were having a good match here and the ending was the right call. That’s the only way this match could have gone as Test is ready for the next title shot. I’m not sure what is next for Van Dam though, as there isn’t exactly anyone else for him to face around here at the moment.

Test chairs Van Dam as well and leaves for some sneering to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The huge gap between the talent levels around here is astounding and there is only so much that you can do with this roster. The main event stuff is working for now, but I have no idea how much of a shelf life they have. Other than that, this show is kind of a wreck with almost nothing interesting going on. Some of the stars they have could become something later, but right now, it isn’t much to see.

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Tribute To The Troops 2006
Date: December 25, 2006
Location: Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a pretty cool tradition as this is the annual Tribute To The Troops show. This time around they are over in Iraq for a show where the wrestling does not mean a thing and we get to see a bunch of wrestlers and celebrities talk about how great the military is. This may or may not be your cup of beverage but let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the USO and others helping to entertaining the troops. Tonight, WWE will be doing exactly the same.

John Cena vs. Edge

Non-title. Cena takes him down with a headlock takeover but Edge gets to his feet and takes it into the corner. That earns him a hiptoss and slam for two but Cena misses a charge and walks into a DDT. Some right hands in the corner keep Cena in trouble until he gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. A clothesline cuts Cena off again and he heads to the apron, meaning it’s time for a slugout. Cena gets knocked off the top and out to the floor, setting up the baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Edge working on a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs but Cena fights up. The Throwback drops Edge again and it’s time for a double breather. There’s a big boot to give Edge two but he takes too much time grabbing a chair, allowing Cena to get two off a rollup. A spinwheel kick sets up a quickly broken camel clutch on Cena, who starts the expected comeback. The FU is countered into the Impaler though and Edge goes up top….where he gets caught by Cena, only to counter into an electric chair to put Cena down again. The spear hits corner though and the FU finishes Edge.

Rating: C+. Pretty much a house show main event here, which these two have had probably a hundred times by now. Granted this isn’t a show where the wrestling itself is going to matter whatsoever. You aren’t going to have the All American Boy losing here though and it isn’t like anyone losing to Cena is hurt whatsoever. Is there a reason they didn’t make this a title match though?

A General gave a nice speech about WWE and giving the soldiers some Americana.

Video on wrestlers interacting with troops.

CM Punk and Shelton Benjamin wish the troops and their families a happy holidays.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton jumps him to start but the threat of a right hand sends him outside as we get some credits for the military people who helped air the show. Back in and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, setting up a rather logical shoulder breaker. Punk fights out of an armbar but a hair pull puts him right back down. That means a second armbar for Punk to fight out of, setting up some kicks into a bulldog. A military helicopter flies by as Shelton jumps the corner to grab a superplex for two. The Stinger Splash misses though and Punk grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. Much quicker match here and it worked well enough. Punk winning by fluke is the right way to go as he isn’t ready for a dominant win over Benjamin, but you can see that WWE has some plans for him. Good enough match here with the arm work and Punk won, meaning there isn’t much to complain about.

Some troops say hi and one gets pinned.

Johnny Nitro vs. Undertaker

Melina is here too and this could be interesting. Undertaker’s entrance doesn’t work as well in the light, but the lack of hat and coat is understandable in the desert. Nitro dodges around to start and gets in a few right hands in the corner. That earns him a quick toss into the same corner and some much bigger right hands as the dominance begins. Undertaker starts cranking on the arm and Old School connects. Nitro slips out of the Last Ride though and hits an enziguri but Undertaker clotheslines him down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the chokeslam and it’s a Tombstone for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here with Undertaker’s appearance alone giving the soldiers a thrill. I believe this is the only singles match that these two would ever have, which is kind of surprising as you would think they might have met each other down the line at some point. Still though, just a quick near squash here and for a show like this, that’s the right idea.

Undertaker poses for a good while.

Earlier today, Lilian Garcia sang the National Anthem, which as usual, is great.

Wrestlers and troops say seasons greetings.

Video on wrestlers interacting with troops and doing military things when mortar attacks went off. Everyone had to go and take cover, which is quite the moment.Fourteen soldiers were injured.

Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Lashley drives him into the corner to start and busts out the gorilla press, which always looks good. A shoulder puts Holly down again and a snap suplex gets two. There’s the delayed vertical suplex for the same and they go outside, where Holly sends him hard into the steps. Back in and Holly sends the shoulder into the post, setting up the armbar. Lashley fights up and slaps on a torture rack, which he drops down into a backbreaker for another two. Holly gets in his own suplex but Lashley grabs a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short and to the point match here with Lashley, the ex-military guy, getting to look pretty dominant in the win. Lashley is the next big thing in ECW and it is making him feel like a much bigger deal, even if he is stuck beating up people like Holly and Test every so often.

An Iraqi Army captain explains some of what the two militaries are doing.

Wrestlers meet troops and do stuff.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start but gets knocked down without much effort. The sitdown splash misses though and they head outside with Umaga sending him into the post. Another ram into the barricade keeps Hardy in trouble and they head back inside for a kick to the spine. The nerve hold goes on to keep Hardy down but Umaga’s top rope splash misses. Hardy is back up with the Whisper in the Wind for two and there’s the Twist of Fate. The Swanton only hits knees though and Umaga unloads in the corner. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to put Hardy away.

Rating: C. Ok then. I’m not sure what the point was in having the champion lose here but again, it isn’t like it matters. Umaga is on a roll at this point and we are going to be getting a heck of a showdown with Cena at the pay per view. Going over Hardy makes Umaga look good, though it is kind of weird to see a champion getting mostly squashed.

The Director of Armed Forces Entertainment gives a lieutenant the 2.6 millionth letter the military has received.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

Carlito’s headlock doesn’t last long to start so he goes with the left hands in the corner instead. An armdrag sets up an armbar but Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick. A swinging side slam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. Carlito fights up for the slugout and the springboard elbow to the face gets two. The RKO is countered into the Backstabber but Orton grabs the ropes to save himself. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Carlito rolls him up and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: C-. They couldn’t have had Carlito lose to Umaga and have Hardy win here? Anyway, Carlito continues to not be the most inspiring guy and having him beat Orton feels a bit out of place. The fans seemed to like the cheating win at the end though and it’s nice to give the soldiers something to cheer.

Santa meets some of the women, who have been naughty this year.

Some troops worked in one of Saddam Hussein’s palaces.

And now, JBL Claus (pull your beard up man). Santa talks about how great the troops are and brings out Krystal, Maria and Torrie to meet some troops. Santa: “Does Santa Claus rock or what?” We get some jokes about how the women look and then Santa has them throw out some gifts. This goes on for a good bit until Chris Masters comes out to interrupt.

Masters says he hates Christmas and doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He doesn’t like the way the troops drool over Santa’s helpers, so let’s have a Masterlock Challenge for one of the troops. Well hang on a second, as first he is challenging Santa to the Masterlock Challenge. The hold goes on and JR thinks Rudolph needs to make a save. Santa is out and Masters wins, saying there is no Christmas (because Masters doesn’t get that Santa has already done his work for the year).

Masters looks for a soldier to take the challenge and picks one of the smallest around. The Masterlock goes on again and this time JBL comes in to break kick Masters in the back….which is enough to break the hold and the soldier wins. JBL and the women say Merry Christmas to wrap it up.

One more long video on the trip ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I never know how to rate a show like this but this is the very basic version compared to what the show would become. What we got here was good enough though as the wrestling was fine enough and it still felt special. Above all else, the idea of going over to Iraq makes the show come off as important. WWE putting in some effort is nice and this worked out rather well for a Christmas night special.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 19, 2006
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re almost done with the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean for this week. Last week’s show felt like a total throw away episode, but I’m curious about how much of that was over the big shakeup behind the scenes. Hopefully they don’t wait until the new year to fix things up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Bobby Lashley for a match but first we see some shots of Lashley in Iraq to visit the troops earlier this month. Also before the match, Lashley talks about what the title means to him and stops reflect on the Big Show. If Show ever wants it back, come take it from him whenever he wants.

Lashley gets a little emotional before saying the fans can vote on who gets an ECW Title shot in two weeks. Their choices are Rob Van Dam, Sabu and Test with voting online. Lashley plugs Tribute To The Troops but here is Rene Dupree to interrupt. Dupree rips on the troops, who needed the boost because they are losing over there. He is challenging Lashley, who hits him in the face to start in a hurry.

Bobby Lashley vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Lashley slams him, shrugs off a poke to the eye, slams him two more times, and then sends it outside. Dupree manages a quick knee life and a neckbreaker over the ropes, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lashley hits the delayed vertical suplex, meaning it’s the Dominator for the fast pin.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Brad Armstrong of all people is on commentary here. Mahoney charges in and punches Striker down to start as we discuss where Armstrong is from. Striker takes him down and chokes with the shirt for a few near falls in a row. The armbar goes on but Mahoney rolls him into the corner for the break. There are the snap jabs but Mahoney blocks the low blow and takes him down again. The guillotine legdrop misses though and Striker hits the Golden Rule (that always weird move where he puts his knee behind Mahoney’s head and spins him back to drive the head into the knee).

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here and the really dumb looking finisher didn’t make it better. Striker vs. Mahoney is the kind of feud that makes a lot of sense, but you’re only going to get so far with Striker in general. He’s a good heel, but he’s a good midcard heel at best, so hopefully they don’t try to go much higher with him than this.

Test says he should get the title shot because he has beaten Rob Van Dam over and over and Sabu is just another victim.

Rob Van Dam remembers being ECW Champion and promises to get the title back if he gets the chance.

Here is Hardcore Holly for a chat. Holly says that there is an ugly rumor that he tapped out to CM Punk last week. What really happened was the referee had to step in and save Punk’s life. Punk can’t make him tap out, so get out here right now. Cue Punk, but Holly says Punk only has three minutes to make him tap.

Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk

Three minute time limit so Punk goes straight for the Anaconda Vice. With that not working, it’s off to a lockup with Holly taking him into the corner at a minute in. Holly takes him down and gets in a kick to the head before tying Punk up in the ropes. We’re down to a minute left as Holly puts on the chinlock. That’s broken up and Punk goes for the Vice again but time runs out.

Rating: D. Much more of an angle than a match here and there is only so much you can do in a three minute match involving a chinlock. Punk not being able to make Holly tap in three minutes doesn’t exactly make him look bad, and we should be in for a rematch sooner rather than later. Punk is on the rise and a definitive win over Holly should help him a lot.

Post match, Holly hits the Alabama Slam.

Shannon Moore runs into Daivari and gets a match with Great Khali for his transgression.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Great Khali vs. Shannon Moore

Khali throws him into the corner to start as here’s Tommy Dreamer to chair Daivari down. As we look at that, Khali finishes with the double chokeslam.

Post match Khali goes outside and knocks the chair away from Dreamer, setting up another double chokeslam onto the steps (THUD). Khali takes Daivari to the back.

Video on Sabu.

Dreamer is taken out on a stretcher.

See No Evil is on DVD.

We look at Mike Knox attacking Kelly Kelly two weeks ago.

Knox says he dumped Kelly because he is the victim. What if your girlfriend or wife kept taking her clothes off? She never hid her feelings for CM Punk so he stopped hiding his true feelings. It hurt him more than it hurt her.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Joined in progress with everyone down on the floor until Van Dam takes Test back inside for a superkick. The standing moonsault gets two but Van Dam gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for his traditional crash. Sabu is back up as well and gets crotched on top to put him in trouble again.

Van Dam comes back in for the Tower of Doom and a pair of near falls. A flip over Sabu sets up a clothesline to Test and some double teaming gets two each. There is Rolling Thunder for two more on Test and he is sent outside. That leaves Sabu to hit the springboard leg lariat for two but Van Dam crotches him on top. The Five Star hits Sabu but Test comes in and decks Van Dam to steal the pin.

Rating: C-. This might not have been the most interesting match and the ending is about as played out of a triple threat finish as you are going to get, but it was a smart decision. Test isn’t going to win the fan vote, but now he has a reason to get a title shot later on if that’s where you want to go. Given how few options ECW has for a major Lashley match, Test is as good as anyone else they could throw out there at the moment. Smart booking to a pretty weak match.

Post match we get the results of the fan voting:

Van Dam – 45%

Test – 18%

Sabu – 37%

Van Dam is pleased but gets big booted by Test. With Test gone, Van Dam gets up and bows to Sabu, as the big boot might have kept him down for five seconds.

Overall Rating: D+. Another not very good show, but the big upgrade over last week was they actually had a point this time around. There was a focus on the title and getting Lashley a new challenger, which at least made the show seem somewhat important. They have a long way to go and I hope that it gets better in the near future, but this was at least a step above last week.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 16, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special Saturday show as I’m assuming ECW is airing a holiday movie marathon to raise money for the metric system or something. Bobby Lashley has beaten the Big Show, meaning we need some new challenges for the ECW World Title. That might mean bringing in some new names, which would be a lot better than using what we have available. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Bobby Lashley beating Big Show twice in a row to firmly establish himself as champion. That would be it for Show for over a year.

Opening sequence, now minus Paul Heyman’s “The tribe of extreme has risen again.”

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

They take turns driving each other into the corner to start until Test elbows him in the face. That earns Test a kick to the face into a standing moonsault for two, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Test gets smart by going to the eyes and then makes Van Dam’s shoulder go to the post. Rob tries to get up top but gets shoved down for the crash (as tends to happen to him) and we take a break.

Back with Test diving into a raised boot, allowing Van Dam to fire off the kicks for two. The rolling monkey flip is countered by a hard clothesline but Van Dam crotches him on top. Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s the windmill kick to drop Test again. The Five Star only hits mat but Van Dam counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip, only to have Test sit down on it and grab the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty by the book match here as Test used the power and then Van Dam used the kicks and high flying before they would do the same thing again. Test as the next challenger to Lashley would not be the worst way to go, if nothing else to give Lashley a win over someone who could be a little intimidating. Van Dam continues to just kind of be here without much of anything to do, which is kind of astounding given his status.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom, with Matt Striker mocking….well pretty much everything about Boston, from college students to politicians to sports. With that out of the way, he brings out Balls Mahoney, who Striker says reminds him of Boston itself. This includes his looks, his skin care and his girth, meaning the beating is on, or at least it is until Striker kicks him low. Striker: “What’s the matter? Feeling a little blue, Balls?”

Elijah Burke brags about how he and Sylvester Terkay will knock you out or tap you out.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk elbows and armdrags him down to start and grabs a suplex for two. Holly gets in a shot of his own though and ties Punk in the ropes for the forearm to the chest. A swinging neckbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and it’s time for the rapid fire strikes. The running bulldog out of the corner gets two but Holly knocks him into the corner and hammers away….for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh yeah Heyman must be gone, as this would seem to be the kind of thing that Heyman would fight to avoid. This would have been a lame ending on any show but it is especially lame in ECW. Holly is not likely a big name around here for very long and odds are Punk will beat him again in the rematch, as he should.

Post match, Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice to make Holly tap.

Here is Tommy Dreamer to call out the Great Khali. Cue Khali and Daivari, the latter of whom accepts the challenge instead.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Daivari hammers away in the corner but Dreamer fights out, shrugs off a chop from Khali, and hits the DDT for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match, Khali pulls Dreamer outside to hit the double chokeslam on the floor.

We look at Mike Knox dumping Kelly Kelly and giving her a swinging Downward Spiral last week.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Heyman’s Personal Enforcers

Non-title. The Enforcers stay in their helmets and #2 tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. That has no avail as Lashley sends him outside and grabs a delayed vertical suplex on #1. A nightstick shot puts Lashley down and the stomping in the corner gets two. There’s a double clothesline to set up more stomping but Lashley avoids a charge into the corner. A backdrop sends #1 into #2 and a spear sets up the Dominator for the pin.

Rating: D. This felt like they remembered they needed Lashley to do something on the show and checked catering to see who was available. The ending was never in doubt and they didn’t do anything to make it that much more interesting. Lashley being all dominant is fine but this wasn’t exactly make me want to see more of him.

Post match Lashley spears #1 and gives him a Dominator as well. Lashley grabs the nightstick and beats them both down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I would be really curious to know how the creative aspect of this one went, as there was very little to suggest that much effort was put in. What we got here felt like it was mainly thrown together at the last minute, which isn’t the most inspiring effort. It wasn’t a good show and felt completely skippable, though maybe they were just burning through a weekend show.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially done with December To Dismember and for all intent and purpose, done with the original version of the relaunched ECW. This is now the third brand instead of something that has any kind of unique feeling to it and that is going to make for a pretty interesting change going forward. Bobby Lashley is now ECW Champion so let’s get to it.

Here is December To Dismember if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley winning the ECW Title inside the Elimination Chamber.

Paul Heyman was in tears after the pay per view, as Big Show is not only the former champion but his blood is also on Heyman’s tie. The rematch is this week….and that’s the last we’ll see of Paul Heyman for five and a half years.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

More Chamber fallout. Punk and Van Dam dedicate the match to Sabu because he should have been in the Chamber with him. Holly starts with Van Dam as the lights seem to be flickering a bit. Rob kicks him down to start and hits a split legged moonsault to the back. Test pulls him to the floor though and stomps away, followed by Holly grabbing a suplex for two back inside.

It’s off to Test to hit a basement clothesline for two and Holly comes back in to get kicked in the face. The hot tag brings in Punk to strike away, followed by the bulldog out of the corner. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Anaconda Vice but here are Heyman’s security guards for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time to work with here but it kept Van Dam and Punk strong (outside of the Chamber at least). Test and Holly might as well be Goon #1 and Goon #2 at this point, though I’m not sure who is supposed to replace them on the heel totem pole. They’ll do fine for now though.

Post match the beatdown is on but Sabu, with his arm in a sling, makes the save. Van Dam hits a Five Star and Sabu adds the Arabian Facebuster.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Rematch from December to Dismember though Dreamer is mostly destroyed after being attacked by Great Khali on Sunday. Daivari dropkicks him down but Dreamer, with his shirt torn to exposed the bandaged shoulder, comes back with a spinebuster. The DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali to beat down Dreamer, including the chokeslam onto a chair.

BUY THE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPLAY!

Next week’s show is on Saturday.

Big Show promises to win the title back because it took five people and a bunch of weapons to beat him. Tonight, he is taking the title back. This was as old school talk to the camera style as you are getting in this era.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Kelly is here by herself and looks terrified. Kevin Thorn is here with Ariel….or at least he is until he is ejected before the match. The catfight is on to start and Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match here is Mike Knox with flowers to make peace with Kelly. He apologizes for what he did at December To Dismember and gets on his knees to beg her forgiveness. Then he dumps her and hits a swinging neckbreaker before walking out. Tazz of all people gets in to check on Kelly.

Kane is still in See No Evil and it’s still on DVD.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Show is challenging. Lashley slugs away with right hands to start until an elbow to the face cuts him down. Back up and Lashley starts going after Show’s arm but Show shrugs it off and puts on a kneeling bearhug. Lashley fights out but gets run over with ease and we take a break.

We come back with Lashley’s crossbody being countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for a near fall. Show stands on his back but Lashley manages to come back with a flying shoulder for two. That earns him a kick to the face to give Show two more and there’s a suplex to cut Lashley off again. We hit the abdominal stretch on Lashley with Show adding some right hands to the ribs for a bonus.

With that broken up, Lashley slugs away to little effect as Show puts him on top. A headbutt drops Show and Lashley nails a flying shoulder. More clotheslines put Show down again but the spear is countered with a chokeslam for two. Lashley can’t quite hold him up for a slam but it was close enough for two. A big boot and a clothesline sets up another slam (much better this time) for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here that went longer than it needed to. Lashley getting the clean win over Show is a way to remove the basically non-existent doubt over his initial title reign. Show beat Lashley up and Lashley made his comeback to retain. What more else can you ask for in a match like this? This would be it for Show for over a year, so at least he went out putting Lashley over again.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show but then it’s kind of hard to get overly annoyed at this when everything was changing behind the scenes. I’m curious to see where things go from here, but it isn’t like what happened before all of the changes was all that great. Hopefully the new direction is better, though it’s not like there is any track record around here.

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December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 28, 2006
Location: HSBC Center, Buffalo New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for December To Dismember and I’ll let the screaming begin now. The show has barely been touched as we have the main event and a lone tag match set, but for some reason that seems to be all we’re getting. This show is screaming BAD IDEA more than almost any I can ever remember so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Paul Heyman, with his security, to explain how the Elimination Chamber is going to work. This one is going to be EXTREME though, because each pod will have weapons. The big new information here: what the weapons are going to be! We’ll have a chair, a crowbar, a table and a barbed wire baseball bat, all of which get a quick demonstration. Violence is promised.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Before the match, Van Dam talks about how he knows the risks in the Chamber but they are worth the reward. Sabu talks about how his scars are his sacrifices, so imagine what he would sacrifice to be champion. Van Dam rolls him up to start and monkey flips him down for two more. Sabu kicks out the knee so Rob kicks him in the face twice in a row. Rob gets crotched on top but manages to crossbody Sabu out of the air to cut off the springboard leg lariat (that was cool).

We take a break and come back with Van Dam being knocked outside where he blocks Sabu’s sunset bomb. The apron moonsault connects (kind of) and Van Dam throws him back inside for a German suplex. Sabu starts going after the knee again but misses the slingshot legdrop. Rolling Thunder connects and, after blocking a springboard tornado DDT, Van Dam nails the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C. I mean, is anyone really buying Sabu as having a chance in the Chamber? Sabu isn’t a big star outside of the original ECW and there is no reason to buy that he is going to win the title here. Having Van Dam win here made a lot more sense and it is a good idea to give him some momentum going into the Chamber.

We recap Bobby Lashley’s debut as he jumped into the Chamber match, plus beating down Big Show last week.

Hardys vs. Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay

Burke sends Jeff into the corner to start so the Hardys come back with the double elbow into a flip dive from Jeff. The legdrop between the legs gets two but it’s off to Terkay to plant Jeff hard. A missed charge into the post cuts Terkay off again and the Hardys double team him down. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Terkay in a hurry (I think that’ll pretty much do it for him and the team).

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to establish that the Hardys are still a thing. I’m not sure you need that to establish that one of the best teams ever is still a thing and I certainly don’t see the need to have Terkay take the fall, but I also don’t think they have put that much thought into anything around here. Other than that, it was a pretty simple squash and not much more.

Post match MNM runs in for the beatdown.

Clips from the December To Dismember press conference. How low level of a reporter would you have to be to draw that assignment?

CM Punk vs. Test

Test drives him into the corner to start and unloads with shots to the face. Punk comes back with forearms of his own but a clothesline cuts him off. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Punk managing to post him, only to have Test come back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long and there’s the shot to the face to knock Test outside. A suicide dive drops Test again and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was only supposed to be a Chamber preview. It says a lot that Test and Punk are allowed to avoid a loss while Sabu took a fall earlier tonight. The double countout makes more sense here as you don’t want someone of note taking a fall before the Chamber, which explains Sabu’s loss.

Test bails from the fight.

Paul Heyman asks Big Show why he is facing Bobby Lashley tonight. My guess is because you, the ECW boss, booked the match?

We recap the MNM beatdown from earlier.

MNM talked to the media about how awesome they are and promise to have a great one night reunion.

Kane is in See No Evil on DVD.

We run down the December To Dismember card. Usually you get a bonus match announced at this point. That isn’t the case with this show.

Another video on the Chamber.

Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Paul Heyman is at ringside. In an inset promo, Show promises to retain the title on Sunday. Lashley hammers away to start but Show sends him into the corner for the big chop. Show pounds away at the ribs and superkicks Lashley down to break up the comeback bid. After standing on Lashley in the corner, Show loads up the Vader Bomb but Lashley manages a bottom rope…..I guess that’s a superplex, followed by a spear. That’s enough for Heyman, who calls in the security and Test for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like the previous match, this was nothing more than a way to get these people in the ring as a preview for Sunday. Lashley is probably winning the title as that is the story they have been building up, even if it might seem a bit strange given how recently he arrived. That being said, who else is supposed to get it?

Post match the beatdown is on with Lashley being destroyed, including Show covering him for a count, to end the show. They might as well have handed him the title now given how little they are hiding Sunday’s results.

Overall Rating: C. They set up the show as well as they could, but you can see the cliff coming from here. The entire pay per view is based on one match and it involves Sabu, Test, a mostly unproven CM Punk and Big Show, with Rob Van Dam and Lashley thrown in on the side. MNM vs. the Hardys will be good just because the talent is there, but egads this has all the makings of an awful pay per view.\

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Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 21, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It is the go home show for Survivor Series, but we are also less than two weeks away from December To Dismember. The big story coming out of last week was the debut of Bobby Lashley to finally give ECW a fresh main eventer. Other than that, we have some guest stars this week with the Hardys dropping by. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley making a surprise debut last week to take what appeared to be Hardcore Holly’s Elimination Chamber spot.

Opening sequence.

Here is Matt Striker in the ring, complete with his classroom, to talk about how scary the Elimination Chamber will be. You shouldn’t have to wait for December To Dismember for the carnage and destruction so tonight he will annihilate Bobby Lashley. Striker offers a comparison between the two, including Lashley doing a tour with the military and Striker doing a tour with the New York City public school system. As Striker (probably accurately) says that his job was more dangerous, here is Lashley to wreck the classroom and get things going.

Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Striker

Some suplexes and a spear set up the Dominator to beat Striker in about a minute. More competitive than I would have bet on.

Full Blooded Italians vs. Hardy Boyz

This is the Hardys’ first time together in four years. Matt takes Guido into the corner by the arm to start and hands it off to Jeff to stay on said arm. A double leg trip puts Guido down again so it’s off to Tony Mamaluke, who gets caught in the Spin Cycle. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and a pair of elbows to the back gets two on Jeff.

There’s a double belly to back suplex for two but Jeff jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock. The diving tag brings in Matt and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. Matt hits bulldog/running clothesline combination to set up the middle rope legdrop. A middle rope sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker drops Guido and the Swanton is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash and that’s all it was supposed to be. The Hardys being back is a pretty good deal and it would probably draw in some extra eyes to ECW. The whole reunion concept is almost always going to get at least a quick look and the fact that the Hardys are still good helps a lot.

Rob Van Dam comes in to see Paul Heyman (and his security) and agrees that he is willing to do anything to be champion. Heyman threatens to suspend him for showing up unannounced last week but has another idea instead: if Hardcore Holly beats him tonight in their Extreme Rules match, Holly is in the Chamber instead.

Video on Sabu.

Kevin Thorn vs. CM Punk

Ariel is here with Thorn, who shoulders Punk down hard to start. Punk is back with a kick but charges into an elbow in the corner. We hit the early chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back, setting up the Boston crab to keep Punk screaming. Cue Kelly Kelly to cheer Punk on and he quickly reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Post match the catfight is on with Kelly getting the better of things and Punk kicking Thorn to the floor. We get a hug and here’s Mike Knox to glare from the stage.

Here are Paul Heyman and Big Show for a chat. Show thought the idea of the Extreme Elimination Chamber was crazy because the Elimination Chamber is scary enough as it is. Now we are going to have the most extreme match in history with a bunch of weapons and five challengers, but Show likes his odds. He lists off all of his successful title defenses and says no one can beat him. Cue Bobby Lashley and the fight is on, with Lashley knocking him out to the floor with a belt shot. Just give him the title already.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Test gives Hardcore Holly a pep talk. Let me repeat that: TEST gave someone a PEP talk. Just pack it in now people.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules and if Holly wins, he gets Van Dam’s Chamber spot. Van Dam kicks him in the face to start and then down it again for a bonus. They head outside with Van Dam hitting the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. We take a break and come back with Holly kicking Van Dam into a chair wedged in the corner. Holly puts said chair on Rob’s face and stomps on it for two, followed by a throat first drop onto the open chair.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Holly hits some forearms to the chest. Van Dam gets in a kick and grabs a chair but gets dropkicked right back to the floor. Back in and Holly puts the chair on Van Dam’s face for the middle rope knee, meaning it’s time for a whipping with a belt.

Rob is back with a kick to the face and the clothesline comeback is on. The monkey flip out of the corner sets up a top rope kick to the jaw. The skateboard chair to the face rocks Holly again but he gets up and chairs Van Dam in the back. Van Dam catches him on top with a top rope superplex onto the chair, followed by the Five Star onto the chair onto Holly for the pin.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going before they started beating each other senseless with one big move after another. It’s also nice to see them not go crazy with the weapons, as the biggest thing here was the chair. Van Dam beating Holly to keep him out of the Chamber (for now) is a good sign, but ECW really likes Holly so you can almost guarantee that this isn’t done yet.

Overall Rating: C+. They kept it to the point here and that’s all they should have done. Survivor Series was only mentioned as the next place for the Hardys to team together, with Knox and Show’s appearances there having no build at all. That leaves us with December To Dismember and the Chamber….with nothing else announced for the card and a single week to go. You don’t think that’s going to be a problem right?

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: November 14, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,266
Commentators: Joey Styles, Elijah Burke

We’re overseas in what can’t be a common situation for ECW. The big story coming out of last week’s show was Hardcore Holly joining forces with Paul Heyman and company, ending a short term face run. Tonight is a little different though as we find out the sixth entrant in the Elimination Chamber, and it might not be someone from ECW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Holly’s heel turn and the subsequent beatdown of Rob Van Dam.

Opening sequence.

Here are Paul Heyman and Big Show to the ring, where a table has been set up for a contract signing. After thanking the booing crowd for the irrelevant opinions, Heyman announces the contract signing for the sixth spot in the Elimination Chamber. We see Hardcore Holly walking to the ring but Smackdown’s Bobby Lashley jumps him from behind and comes into the arena. There’s a spear to Big Show for trying to cut him off and Lashley signs the contract to get into the Elimination Chamber. ECW has been dying for fresh faces and Lashley works very well.

Post break, Big Show, Test and Hardcore Holly yell at Paul Heyman, who says he’s going to lawyer up. Tonight, it’s Lashley vs. Holly, who certainly approves.

CM Punk vs. Mike Knox

Kelly Kelly is here with Knox and this is a rematch from last week where Punk won. The arena looks a bit darker for this one as Punk grabs a belly to back suplex to start. Knox is sent to the floor but avoids a slide, meaning Punk kicks him down and right into Kelly. Punk makes the mistake of checking on Kelly, allowing Knox to get in a few shots of his own and catapult Punk into the corner back inside. A clothesline gets two on Punk and we hit the Boston crab (or Manchester crab as Joey tries to be clever).

With that broken up, Knox switches to a double arm crank but Punk knees his way out of a suplex. Some running elbows start the comeback and Punk dropkicks him out to the floor. That sets up the suicide dive but Knox is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Punk shrugs that off without missing a beat and kicks Knox in the head, setting up the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Rating: C. Knox isn’t exactly proving himself in the ring most of the time as he is being shown to be more and more of a generic heel with very match. He isn’t the worst by far but this deal with Kelly is taking its sweet time and it isn’t like they were the good version of Savage and Liz in the first place. I’m not sure Punk needs Kelly either, but he is on the way up to much bigger things anyway.

Post match, Kelly is rather pleased with Punk.

Matt Striker gives us some famous quotes to send us to a video on the history of the Elimination Chamber.

CM Punk welcomes Bobby Lashley to ECW and says he is looking forward to the Chamber because he will be like a kid in a candy store. It is his time to become ECW Champion.

Wrestlemania tickets are on sale.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari. Dreamer knocks him into the corner to start but Daivari comes back with a shot to the knee. Daivari gets crotched on top but Khali cuts off the DDT and crotches him against the post for the DQ.

Post match Dreamer gets dropped with the chokeslam.

Roddy Piper has a DVD. It’s worth watching for all of the Piper’s Pits alone.

We recap Lashley signing the contract.

Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Paul Heyman, Big Show and Test are all at ringside. Lashley’s Titantron says that he is “soft spoken”. I’m sure it says something else after that, but that might be part of why he hasn’t gotten very far yet. Joined in progress with Lashley unloading in the corner and hitting the one armed delayed suplex. Holly is back up and sends it outside with Lashley being sent into the steps.

Back in and Lashley hits a kind of awkward slam but misses an elbow so Holly can grab the chinlock. Holly goes up but dives into a raised boot so Lashley can start the comeback. A torture rack drops into a backbreaker for two on Holly, who is back up to crotch Lashley on top. The superplex gives Holly two of his own so Holly goes up top, only to get slammed off the top. That’s enough for Big Show to come in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t a very good debut for Lashley, as the match looked awkward out there and then it ended in a DQ. You might not want Holly to lose just after his heel turn, but Lashley is a good bit bigger than Holly could ever hope to be. Holly isn’t even going into the Chamber, so this probably should have been Lashley winning after a hard fought match.

Post match the beatdown is on but CM Punk, Sabu and Rob Van Dam run in for the save. The ring is cleared out and Lashley stares Van Dam down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the most thrilling show here with the big focus being on Lashley’s debut. The rest of the show wasn’t much else to see, though it wasn’t like there was much else there in the first place. The Chamber is all set now and that is what matters most, but some better building would be nice over the next few weeks.

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