Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2011
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

Three weeks out from Capitol Punishment and we now have some new stories set up.  It’s looking like we’re setting up some form of Truth vs. Cena at the PPV which is probably the best option right here.  Other than that it’s kind of hard to say where we’re going with major matches as other than that, Show vs. Alberto is probably coming later with the knee injury angle.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a tribute to Memorial Day and soldiers that have died in combat.  Nothing wrong with that.

And now we have a black screen.  Oh wait here’s R-Truth at a merchandise stand destroying stuff.  And never mind as we’re gone again with a graphic saying there are technical difficulties.  Ok now he’s destroying the stand with no audio.  He messes with a concession stand and we cut to black again.  We have some background audio but whatever he’s saying into the microphone isn’t heard.

Cole and Lawler are talking but their words don’t match their movements.  Lawler says it’s something to do with the conspiracy.  Now Truth is coming down the steps in the audience and yelling at people in Cena gear.  There goes the audio again.  Truth comes down to a family in Cena gear and the audio is way out of sync.  He calls the kid little Jimmy and the kid’s father big Jimmy.  The father says What’s Up and Truth isn’t happy.  The sound sounds like it’s in a tunnel or something and is about 8 seconds ahead of the video.

He’s in the ring now and ranting about how the fans are the problem instead of him.  It’s about Little Jimmy apparently.  Here comes Cena as Vince must be losing his mind right now.  Cena says that Truth is losing it because he thinks everyone is named Jimmy and there is no conspiracy.  The audio is in sync now, about 10 minutes into the show.  Truth says it’s the fans and Cena that are crazy, not Truth.

The fans chant for Cena and the picture is still jumping a bit.  Cena says that these are the greatest fans in the world and they agree that Truth should be in a straightjacket.  Cena says he has no problem knocking some sense back into Truth.  Truth wants a match so all the little Jimmys can watch him beat Cena down.  Cue the GM for an E-Mail read by Cole and the main event is Truth vs. Cena with no little Jimmys allowed at ringside.  Truth thinks it’s a joke and says Cena will get got.

Kharma will speak tonight.

Dolph vs. Kofi next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Cole says he’s thankful for being back at ringside to call this show.  Dolph is blonde again which is a big improvement for him.  Technical stuff to start as Lawler says Vickie looks good tonight.  I know they were having technical difficulties but dang man they’re messing with Lawler’s words now.  Slower paced match than was probably expected.  Ziggler takes him down with a shoulder block but Kofi speeds things up a bit.

The referee has an elbow pad on for some reason.  Cole keeps sucking up to Vickie as Kofi takes over a bit.  No one has really had an extended advantage yet.  Kofi tries his jump into the punches in the corner but Dolph moves, allowing Kofi to land on the top rope.  Dolph shoves him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding an armbar and pulling Kofi back down by the hair.  Elbow drop gets two and we go to a chinlock.  Stinger Splash in the corner misses for Dolph and Kofi speeds things up again.  He can’t get the SOS but the jumping clothesline does hit.  There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Sleeper almost goes on and Kofi hits a pendulum kick.  Top rope cross body misses and a Fameasser gets a close two.  Small package gets two for Kofi but he walks into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better near the ending but the first part of it was kind of uninspiring stuff.  Not a great match or anything but it’s nice to see them get about ten minutes to go out and let a match build upon itself instead of being like three minutes long.  Not bad but nothing great, especially compared to what they did on Smackdown last year.

Here’s Alberto in an Audi.  We get a clip from last week where Big Show was hit by the car driven by Ricardo.  Part of the clip shows Alberto was driving and Ricardo switched places with him in the background.  Ricardo explains his side of the story in Spanish.  Alberto says bad things happen to bad people.  They owe him money for damaging his car and Ricardo will send them the bill.  Get well soon Big Show.  So it took almost 8 minutes to say “I’m not sorry”?

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

 

Eve vs. Brie to start as Eve does her gymnastics.  She hooks some kind of a choke/arm lock on but Twin Magic prevails.  The Bellas beat down Eve for a good while as the crowd really doesn’t seem to care.  There’s the tag to Kelly who does what is supposed to be a Thesz Press I think.  Kelly’s belt goes flying off and she gives whichever Bella that is a Stinkface.  Everything breaks down and the K2 ends let’s say Nikki at 2:56.  Just your typical Divas match with the looks being the only thing of note.

There’s a cookout in Nebraska.  No real reason for it being shown but it’s the second time we’ve seen it tonight.

Cole is in the ring to talk to Riley about his attack last week.  The Raw GM has apparently signed Alex Riley again.  We see the beatdown on Miz from last week.  Here’s Riley with his own theme song and a decent reaction from the crowd.  Cole yells at Riley about how he betrayed Miz after Miz had done so much for him.  What about Miz apparently?  Miz looked at Riley like a brother and Cole wants to know how Riley can do what he did to Miz last week.

Riley says he’s never felt better and Cole suggests Riley beg Miz for forgiveness.  Cole rants on him a bit more and Riley cuts him off.  Riley says Cole has a big mouth and is starting to get annoying just like Miz.  Cole calls Riley a bastard an Riley grabs him.  He of course takes too long and here’s Miz for the beatdown.  He looks manly in pink.  Miz tries to get a kick in but Riley takes him down.  Miz tries to run but Riley takes him down in the aisle and continues the beating.  Riley throws him onto the table and Miz runs into the crowd and out the door as Riley stands tall in the ring.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Ryan is with Punk here.  Cole can’t wait to tell us that a guy on American Idol wore a Punk shirt.  You know, for all the WWE fans that watch American Idol.  Punk takes over to start but gets caught in a kick to the chest and a headscissors.  Into the corner but Punk gets out of the way and sends Rey to the floor.  Rey gets on the apron but Ryan sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Punk holding Rey in something like a Gory Stretch for a bit.  Rey escapes but a headscissors is countered into a backbreaker for two.  Punk hammers away but Rey manages to dropkick him into 619 position.  CM hits the floor but Rey hits a suicide dive to send Punk over the announce table.  Back in Rey hits the seated senton and the springboard cross body for two.  A sweet pinning combination gets two.

Big spin kick misses and Punk gets another backbreaker for two.  Punk loads up the GTS but Rey counters into a rana to set up the 619.  Ryan blocks it so Rey dropkicks him to the floor.  Rey tries to skin the cat back in but Punk catches him in the GTS position.  Rey counters again but a big kick to the head is enough for Punk to pin him at 9:05.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as they let both guys do their thing.  Punk and Nexus’ push continues and it’s definitely not a bad thing.  Also seeing Rey lose is always a plus as it gets a good deal annoying to see him beat every single person he’s in there with.  Either way, good stuff here and Punk’s push continues, which is a good thing.

We get a clip of Austin on Jimmy Fallon.

Here’s Kharma to explain what happened last week.  Her voice is a lot softer than you would expect.  Her dream was to be a WWE Superstar (not Diva) and here she is.  She tried out for season 2 of Tough Enough and JR apparently told her she was too fat to be a Diva.  She went to Japan where she cleaned floors for training.  She went to every wrestling promotion in the world (no mention of TNA) before WWE called.

Her other dream was to be a mother.  She’ll be a mother because she is currently with child.  This is a high risk business and she can’t risk anything happening to her because it’s a high risk sport.  She’ll be back though.  Here are the Bellas to make fun of her.  They say they’re impressed that she found a guy to hook up with.  It must bother her to not be able to beat them up right now.  They make fat jokes and the Bellas try to run.  Kharma will be back in a year and she hopes they’ll still be here because then she has a new dream.  Her music plays her out.

We get the really stupid press conference promo on Capitol Punishment.  At least mix it up a bit.  I think this one is different but still, the joke is over.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

 

Swagger hammers away to start but an attempt at a belly to back suplex puth both guys on the floor.  Back in and it’s all Swagger so far with him hammering away on the back of Bourne.  Rather slow match here but Bourne tries to speed things up a bit, only to walk into a sidewalk slam.  Swagger keeps smacking him in the head and seemingly wasting time.  And yep there it is as Bourne grabs a victory roll for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match there to have Swagger mess up and continue this feud with Bourne.  I hope this leads to a face turn for Swagger as his character can only go so far as a heel.  He has the talent but they haven’t really gone anywhere with it.  Pretty much a nothing match but with 3 minutes what can they do?

Truth talks to himself some more.

Cena talks to Ryder who looks like he has something resembling the IC Title.

R-Truth vs. John Cena

 

We do get part of the segment to open the show from earlier tonight with working audio.  Cena’s music hits at 10:58 so this is going to be a pretty short match.  Cena sends him to the floor almost immediately and Truth rants at some fans.  Truth gets something going but is sent to the floor again where he runs his mouth some more.  They’re intentionally not having a ton of contact here.

There are the dueling chants as Cena gets going.  At least he’s not gone get got.  Cena takes him to the floor again and Cena gets frustrated.  Truth escapes the Attitude Adjustment and hits the crowd this time.  Cena goes after him but gets caught with a shot to the head and it’s a count out win for Truth at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not even a match really as there might have been a total of 30 seconds of contact the entire time.  Still though they’re setting up for later on, likely with a PPV title match coming up.  If that’s the case then this is fine as the point was to not have them actually do anything yet.  Not even a match though so the grade means nothing really.

Truth goes back into the crowd and throws soda in the face of the fans from earlier.  Cena gives them his wristbands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a rather good show overall with the pacing being far better than it’s been in recent weeks and a good deal of wrestling to go with it.  Truth being all insane is a nice touch to his character as he’s playing that character to perfection.  A lot of stuff was advanced tonight and we got a high amount of wrestling too.  What more can you ask for?  Very solid show here indeed.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – K2 to Nikki Bella

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – Kick to the head

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

R-Truth b. John Cena via countout

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 23, 2011
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

We’re past Over the Limit and after another Cena torture movie he’s still WWE Champion.  Also Jerry Lawler finally got his revenge on Cole in a humiliating defeat.  Tonight we’ll start building towards Capitol Punishment in four weeks.  It should be interesting to see where we go from here as it seems a lot of feuds wrapped up last night.  Let’s get to it.

An in memory of Randy Savage graphic opens us up.

Theme song hits.

Here’s Lawler who says that the long national nightmare is over because Michael Cole has been beaten.  He said he had an ace up his sleeve last night.  Actually he had a Hart up his sleeve, and here’s the Hitman!  Bret says he’s always respected Jerry over the years as a competitor despite not always seeing things the same way.  He had no respect for Michael Cole though so he as glad to help him taste the agony of “de-feet”.

R-Truth of all people comes out to talk to Bret.  He says Bret must be a 90 time WWE Champion and wants Bret to ask him how many championship matches he’s had.  That would be zero because he didn’t care about the little Jimmys like Bret did.  He asks if there’s something he can give to the fans and asks to take Bret’s shades to give to the fans.

Truth finds a Little Jimmy in the front row and gives him the glasses.  “I’m a good R-Truth now.”  Now he thinks he should be next in line for a WWE Championship match but he isn’t.  Truth takes the glasses back and goes to see Bret again.  It’s about wins and losses, not giving the fans what they want.  He put out John Morrison and he beat Rey last night but now he needs to beat on a Hall of Famer.

Bret says go ahead and try it but he got championship matches because he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.  Truth doesn’t get championship matches because he’s a freaking lunatic.  Truth doesn’t like that but here’s Cena before we see what he says next.  Cena limps out and is clearly in pain.  It’s a mostly pro-Cena crowd tonight.

Cena chats with Bret for a bit and now it’s time to talk to the resident lunatic.  Cena says he and Truth used to be cool but now he lost his mind.  Truth: “Used to?  Used to is a rooster from Brewster.”  Well ok then.  This thing Truth has been on is all about Cena apparently.  The people make it all about him.  Cena says that Truth is wrong and that he makes it all about the people.

Truth says that it’s all about Cena and how he has to get the Cena shirt, the Cena wristbands, go see the new Cena movie, HE WANTS HIS SON BACK!  It’s all about him now and he isn’t going to feel right until he gets his WWE Title match.  Cena says he’s a bit broken up from last night but it’s about time someone knocked some sense into Truth.  An E-Mail stops that though because the GM isn’t sure about Truth.  The main event is Truth/Punk vs. Rey/Cena with Bret as referee.  Bret gives the kid the sunglasses in a nice touch.

Show and Kane are sitting on a nice car and Show says that they’re going to be in a pack tonight, I think talking about Nexus.  Ricardo comes up and yells in Spanish so Show shoves him down.  Alberto comes up and yells in Spanish too.  The big guys actually leave as Alberto rambles more in Spanish.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

 

I don’t get why these two didn’t have the tag title shot last night since they won last week.  Punk has boots up to his thighs that are white/yellow and look a bit odd.  He sits in on commentary here.  Kane and Otunga start us off and David heads to the floor to avoids a seated dropkick.  A small chase starts but Otunga misses an elbow drop as Kane fakes him out.

Show comes in to a big pop and here’s Michael as well.  Show sends him to the floor with ease as we take a break.  Back with Nexus working over Kane as Punk says he doesn’t care which Nexus team wins the titles.  Orunga gets a neckbreaker on Kane for two.  Show comes in soon thereafter and the beatdown is on.  Punk talks about how everything is going to be ok and Ryan tries to come in.  Kane takes him down but Punk says he has faith and kicks Show in the head.  A double DDT to Show and we have new champions at 8:54 total.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it’s probably a good thing to see the giants lose the titles.  They can only go so far with the titles before things get really boring with them.  Nexus needed something to go with here and the tag titles tend to be the first thing you’re given to get something established.

Back with a video of Orton at a Wal-Mart signing That’s What I Am DVDs.  Not as bad a movie as I was expecting even though he was in it less than five minutes.

Big Show and Kane are asked about frustration and Show is all ticked off.  Alberto for some reason Slaps him in the face and runs off.  The camera goes down and when we find them Alberto’s car is on Show’s leg!  Kane shouts at everyone and Ricardo backs the car off.  Show screams a lot as medics arrive.  Show tries to get up but falls right back down.

Back and Big Show still tries to stand, this time getting over to something to lean on.  He won’t sit on a stretcher and looks like he’s going to try to walk it off.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

 

Swagger misses a shot in the corner and Bourne snaps off a rana.  And there goes that momentum as he runs into a big boot as Swagger takes over.  Off to an armbar but the Vader Bomb misses.  Bourne gets some kicks in but can’t get anywhere with it.  One is caught into an ankle lock but Bourne gets out again.  Another rana attempts is reversed into a HUGE gutwrecnch powerbomb to end this at 2:10.  That impact was awesome.

Post match Bourne is up already and gets a kick to the head of Swagger to send him to the floor in a heap.

Cole is walking around in the back and walks past the Divas, offering Eve a handshake.  She sticks her foot in his face instead.  He’s up next.

Rock’s new movie has done incredibly well.

Here’s Cole and he asks for our attention but then says he doesn’t deserve it.  He wants to apologize to everyone from Jerry to Matthews to Justin Roberts to Mark Yeaton to the fans in Portland to the people all over the WWE Universe.  He just wants to come home and do commentary on Raw.  He wants to come back with no Cole Mine and no more matches but just one more chance.

Jerry says thanks for that and thanks for giving him a picture for this year’s Christmas card, which is Cole having Jerry’s foot in his mouth.  The fans keep chanting You Suck Toes.  Jerry also hands him a box of Altoids which Cole accepts.  They offer him a chair but here’s Miz as Cole sits down.

Miz says there is only one reason why he didn’t win the WWE Championship last night, and that reason is Alex Riley.  This isn’t the first time Riley has failed either as he wasn’t at the steel cage match, he cost Miz the title three weeks ago because they dropped the belt and then last night he had the cell phone fall on the ground.  Miz wants one more chance at Cena in a one on one match with Alex Riley barred from ringside.  He isn’t going to leave the ring until he gets an answer either.

There’s an E-Mail and the GM denies the request.  Miz is done with Cena because he lost against last night.  Riley points out that it wasn’t him that quit and Miz slaps him.  Miz goes off on Riley and fires him and the fight is on!  Riley is destroying Miz, ripping the clothes off of him and throwing him onto the announce table.  Riley beats Miz up and we actually get a big Riley chant!  Miz is almost out.  Riley leaves Miz laying in the middle of the ring in one of the better face turns I’ve seen in a good while.

Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim

 

Cole continues to try to be different tonight, saying Miz might have had that coming to him and praising the Divas, enjoying the chance to call the match.  A Bella (announcers aren’t sure either) vs. Kelly to start.  And here’s Kharma maybe 10 seconds into it to a nice pop.

Beth rallies the troops to stare down Kharma who walks to the ring anyway.  She climbs up to the apron and climbs in, not really focusing on anyone.  The Divas surround her and it’s a weird staredown moment.  Kharma sticks her arms out and her hands start shaking.  She gets on her knees and something is censored out.  Kharma starts crying with her lips quivering.  She’s rocking back and forth a bit and shaking her head.  She’s saying something but we can’t hear it.  We go to a break with her more or less having a breakdown in the middle of the ring.

Back and we see a clip of Kharma’s breakdown again.

We get a clip of Extreme Rules where Kofi won the US Title back.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Non-Title here.  Drew has a ton of pyro now.  Drew is moving out there tonight as they have a very fast paced start but Kofi can’t get over Drew on a leapfrog and Drew works on the knee.  Figure Four on the post as this has been all Drew other than some nice speed moves by Kofi.  Kofi kicks him off though and manages the Boom Drop on one good leg.

He can’t even attempt Trouble in Paradise though and collapses, allowing Drew to get a kick to the chest for two.  Drew tries a knee crusher which Kofi half counters into a rana position, only for Drew to powerbomb him down for a long two.  Into the corner but Kofi pulls SOS out of nowhere for the surprise pin at 4:28.  Vickie and Ziggler are shown watching.  Dolph is blonde again.

Rating: C+. I liked this match with Drew having control due to the bad knee and Kofi having to fight from behind here the entire time.  The knee stuff was good with Drew being all aggressive, but he lost again which doesn’t really help him all that much at the end of the day.  Good to see him on TV again though.

We get a dream sequence of all three commentators imagining what would happen if President Obama had a press conference about Capitol Punishment.  They’ve asked Congress, the Washington Nationals to the forest reserve to the PPV.

Nexus celebrates their win and Punk says watch what he’s about to do.  Main event is up next.

Alberto says he had nothing to do with Show’s injury and blames Ricardo for it.

It’s time for what a lot of people have been asking for all night: the Randy Savage tribute.  A voiceover talks about how awesome his career was and how when everyone was being flamboyant he was better at it than anyone.  Set to Pomp and Circumstance we talk about his matches with Hogan, the Mania 3 match, Slim Jim, the fans imitating him (but never being able to duplicate him).

A barrage of Savage promos set up a highlight reel set to a sad song about setting someone apart and being a shame to be apart.  There’s a focus on his relationship with Liz and the clips are mostly from his face runs.  They’re showing things in sets here, such as his robes and then a bunch of shots of his elbows and finally the in memory graphic as he gets a standing ovation and a loud Macho Man chant.  Very nicely done.

John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth/CM Punk

 

Bret is referee here.  Punk has pink tights with stars on them like Savage had at Mania 4 where he won his first WWF Title.  Cena and Truth to start with Cena sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Punk in control, ramming in elbows in the corner.  Cena speeds things up a bit and Punk hides behind Bret in a funny spot.  Truth comes in and takes over on Cena with some basic stuff for two.

Back off to Punk and I can’t help but smile at the tights.  Punk hits Bret’s floatover Russian Legsweep and it’s the TWO MOVES OF DOOM!  Suplex gets two and it’s off to Truth again who gets in Bret’s face.  Punk adds a backbreaker but Cena reverses a Sharpshooter into an STF attempt.  Punk loads him up for the GTS but Cena counters into a DDT and both guys are down.

Rey comes in and everything breaks down quickly.  Cena falls down because of bad ribs and Truth shouts how do you like me now?  Rey dropkicks Truth in the back and sets for the 619.  Bret drills Punk and adds a Sharpshooter and Rey drops a dime on Punk’s head for the pin at 9:48.  Cena jumps in the air with a leap that would make Orton jealous.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but at the same time it was kind of a mess.  Not bad to be sure but I’m really not sure what this accomplishes other than a feel good moment I guess.  It was like they weren’t sure what to do here so they did a modified comedy match.  Not bad, but really nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade here.  The show was certainly eventful but the lack of wrestling hurts it.  This was far more of a show about resetting a lot of things which is something they really had to do after last night and they did a good job of that, but the lack of wrestling got in the way here.  The Savage tribute was well done and needed and I’m very glad we got one.  The title change was also good and Kharma’s breakdown is something worth keeping an eye on, but overall I wasn’t buying into the whole show.  Good, but certainly not epic or great.  It got stuff done though, which was the idea.

Results

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – Double DDT to Big Show

Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne – Gutwrench Powerbomb

Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torries/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

Kofi Kingston b. Drew McIntyre – SOS

John Cena/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/R-Truth – Springboard legdrop to Punk

Breaking Point
Date: September 13, 2009
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 11,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Josh Matthews

Submission. That’s whole point of this show. Ok not really but that was the idea of some of it. WWE was I suppose trying to reach out to the MMA fans here which makes sense I guess but at the same time is annoying. The three main matches are submission matches, including Taker vs. Punk on one for the Smackdown Title.

Other than that we have Orton vs. Cena…again, for the Raw Title. The third major match is DX vs. Legacy so there we are. This show is hit or miss for most people so there we are. Let’s get to it.

Also, in case you’re wondering what the point of this review is, I’m trying to get caught up with the recent shows so I can have a point to cut off at, as in having all of 2009 forward reviewed or something like that, so expect more recent ones to start popping up.

The video more or less says what I just said to you. It should be noted that it’s only the main event matches that have the submission stipulation.

Unified Tag Titles: Big Show/Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry/MVP

This was the feud of the month and no one with intelligence thought team Red had a chance. Jericho tried to denounce being Canadian on Raw to keep the face pop down but if I remember right Quebec wants to secede anyway, so it made the reaction better. MVP is a fair bit sloppy. Crowd is hot by the way. Fans are totally behind Big Show.

More or less this is Henry shows off his strength without actually doing anything worthwhile. Henry is likely going to be in the match for the most part. Oh dear. Ok scratch that thank goodness. Oh how I hate the Ballin Elbow. Lawler says a spear literally cut MVP in half. No King, it didn’t.

Henry comes in to make the save after a LONG time of beating on MVP. Henry cleans house and counters the Codebreaker. And of course a single right hand knocks him out for about 25 seconds so Jericho can get the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a long Raw match and just flat out not interesting. There was no way the belts would change here or anything like that and everyone knew it. That can work at times but the problem here is that the match itself has to actually be good. That simply isn’t the case here and it hurt the match really badly.

Legacy says that tonight it’s a fight and DX is over.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Miz

Lillian isn’t human. That’s all there is to it. This was added to the card the day before this show which is rather cool when you think about it. No idea why it is but I thought I’d throw out something that sounds cool like that so I wouldn’t have to explain it. This is fairly recently after Miz did the AWESOME (pun intended) feud with Cena. That was too brilliant for words.

Kofi is getting beaten up here as the push of the Miz continues. Lawler and King argue about nothing in particular. This is a really slow paced match and I’m not sure how well it’s working. Miz does the intelligent thing and moves out of the way of the Boom Drop. They crank it up and do a nice pinfall reversal sequence. Miz goes for the Reality Check but Kofi counters the neckbreaker to kick the heck out of him for the pin.

Rating: B. This started slow but became a very solid match by the end. At the time it aired I wasn’t sure who was going to win which is something that hardly ever happens to me in matches. What I mean by that is this looked like a glorified squash on paper and that got switched up. I’ve always liked both of these guys and this was no exception. Very fun match with a solid ending.

Lynyrd Skynyrd did the theme song. Good to know.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. In essence, Legacy is tired of DX hogging the spotlight. In other words, Legacy is portraying Rated RKO.

DX vs. Legacy

This is submissions count anywhere. We get the obligatory Montreal reference from DX which makes sense as we’re in Montreal tonight. HHH says it was all Shawn’s fault in a rather funny bit. There are in essence no rules in this to speak of. Shawn is famous for the figure four? Since when? We’re already into the crowd so at least they’re not trying that hard to make this look like a normal match. That’s always a perk.

Shawn has DiBiase in a choke on a railing in the audience and HHH and Rhodes are back in the concourse I think. We were in the ring for all of 8 seconds in case you were wondering. They’re brawling all over the place but of course we’re heading back to the ring now. Rhodes is put onto a chair and HHH gets a Boston Crab at the same time that Shawn gets a camel clutch. Good to know. After that is broken up we get a crossface from HHH.

I’m not sure if this is a good match or not. Rhodes hooks a Gory Special of all things. The formula of this match more of less is one guy puts a hold on another and the partner makes the save. It’s ok but there’s not much to it really. HHH and DiBiase are in the ring and Rhodes and Shawn are fighting in the production area. They fight into the stands and Shawn falls from there down to a perfectly placed empty area.

Basically HHH has to fight both guys off to keep them away from Shawn. Hmm…HHH having to face very big odds and do something no other normal person could pull off? Where’s the challenge? They’re in the back and beating the tar out of HHH. The crowd reaction would suggest Shawn is up. Oh wait it’s Montreal so maybe he died or something. Never mind. He’s up. It’s back to 1-2 now though as HHH got smacked in the head and is down.

Rhodes busts out an ankle lock on Shawn. You know, the guy with a bad back that just hurt his back a few minutes ago. I can’t stand stupid wrestlers at times. So Shawn was down for maybe two minutes from FALLING OFF A BALCONY and HHH is down much longer from a garbage can shot? Good freaking night.

Shawn gets that reverse figure four that he used like twice but he’s a master off all of a sudden anyway. Rhodes just goes off on Shawn and hooks the figure four on the post. DiBiase adds in the Million Dollar Dream. And Shawn taps out with HHH crawling on the floor. Talk about an EPIC win. Match kind of sucked but kind of didn’t.

Rating: B-. I liked it, but there were a LOT of problems here. For one thing, it got to the point where it was just the same stuff happening but with different people. That’s rather boring indeed. However, VERY happy that Legacy won as they actually needed a win as opposed to DX all over again. It was good but far from great. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt though.

Oh and amazingly enough, people still complained about DX hogging the spotlight after this match. Go figure.

Josh Matthews comes up to Randy Orton who says he wants to talk. Orton has no reaction to Legacy winning. Orton says that’s enough questions so he talks about Cena. Orton has the voice for his character down to a T, I’ll give him that much. I love the WWE Title just sitting in the background there like that’s perfectly normal.

Ad for Hell in a Cell.

Singapore Cane Match: Kane vs. Great Khali

Uh, point to the stipulations? Singh’s sideburns are alive I think. There’s a basket of canes at each corner. There’s the required duel between the sticks. Can we just push Kane as a monster heel? Please? Is it that much to ask? Khali got a world title reign and Kane doesn’t. That makes such a lack of sense I can’t even fathom it.

The fans are already chanting boring and they’re right. Naturally they don’t get it and keep going. Khali gives Kane a head massage which is apparently a vice grip or something. Khali does his other move, the chop, and that’s all he’s got. Kane gets a shot off the top with the cane and that gets two of course. A good (bad on anyone other than Khali) ends it to a BIG pop, despite Kane being 100% heel here.

Rating: F. This was awful in every sense of the word. It was short if nothing else but for the love of coconuts, give Kane something serious to do rather than just having him beat up random big men. Yes I’m a big fan of Kane.

Punk says he’s ready for Undertaker. He makes great points of course but it’s Taker so he has to lose. Punk mentions the Hardy arrest which is just freaking awesome. Dang Punk is epic. The lights go out and it’s Jimmy Yang messing with Punk. Guess what happens to his cowboy sefl.

We recap Christian vs. Regal, which more or less was Regal got beat in 10 seconds at Summerslam and then his boys beat him up. Naturally a ten second loss warrants a rematch right?

ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal

This is 5 days after the ECW is Leaving announcement was made so there we are. Naturally Christian gets a huge pop being the Canadian. The monsters are sent to the back. This is more of a technical match which is what Regal is a master of. This is an intense match if nothing else. The fans are as into this as they’ve been into anything all night long. Regal avoids the Killswitch three times and then gets it on the fourth. Well that was abrupt. Somehow this was ten minutes long.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much at all. It could have been a main event on any ECW TV show and it wouldn’t have been anything special at all. This was pretty weak.

Batista is coming back to Raw to leave for Smackdown.

Pat Patterson comes out for no apparent reason. He talks about nothing in general until Dolph Ziggler comes out. They talk, Ziggler pushes him, gay jokes abounded in the LD as Morrison came out for the save.

We recap Cena vs. Orton. They don’t like each other. The end. On the show you get a five minute version of that.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Remember, this is submission only. Orton is champion here in case anyone is interested. Starting with the package, we have ten minutes go by before the opening bell. Cena starts out hot and gets in some nice throws on the reptilian one. The fans are kind of into it but I think they know they’re in for a long one here.

Orton of course gets the advantage as he is known to do. The weapons are in already and Cena is experiencing head trauma. Naturally we get a mixed reaction from the crowd because it’s Cena in Canada. The RKO onto a chair is countered because we’re 5 minutes into this. We’re on the floor and Orton is in control of course.

He puts Cena’s head on the step and stomps on it. That looked awesome to say the least. When that doesn’t work he busts out handcuffs and the key which goes around his neck. And Cena is attached to the top rope. Yep, he’s going to win anyway. So Orton unties him and puts him on the post with the cuffs over his arm. Orton proceeds to beat him in the chest and stomach with a kendo stick.

This has to be some Vince sex fantasy. There’s no other possible explanation. I don’t know if that’s makeup on his ribs or what but it looks awesome. Orton freaking KILLS Cena with a chair shot. This is freaking violent. After more chair shots and Cena being cuffed again he manages to get the key. And great, now they’re cuffed to each other. Is this a bad buddy comedy pilot or something? It still looks better than 12 Rounds.

The people are booing this, I guess because HE WAS FREKAING TORTURED AND NOW HE’S BEATING UP THE WORLD CHAMPION! Orton gets an RKO out of nowhere. And of course Cena hooks the STFU on Orton with the cuffs for the submission. Because you know, that’s perfectly reasonable right? A ton of replays and celebrating follows.

Rating: B-. I’m really not sure on this one as it became a messed up torture video halfway through. This is a match that some people are going to love and others are going to just flat out hate and I can see both perspectives. It’s not for everyone and the intensity is WAY over the top, but it played up Cena won’t quit as well as possible so there we go.

We recap Punk vs. Taker. More or less it was Taker is back and wants the title. Good to know.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Taker has never surrendered so there we are. Naturally it takes forever to start because it’s an Undertaker match. And of course Punk is getting his face kicked in. Did you expect anything else? This goes on for awhile until some chair shots get us back to something resembling even.

They trade strikes and Punk actually puts him down with a solid as stone kick to the head. And there’s the Hell’s Gate for the tap out. Yeah, in the most predictable ending you could ask for, Taker gets the title back to end the show. Screw you WWE.

OR DOES HE???

Teddy Long comes out to say that the Hell’s Gate is still an illegal move and the match is still going, even though it’s a No DQ match so that rule means nothing but why should I pay attention to something stupid like that?

Anyway, Taker just beats the tar out of him and then we get the part of the match that I still shake my head at: Punk counters the Last Ride and hooks an Anaconda Vice and, say it with me, Taker doesn’t tap but the bell rings anyway. Punk stands next to the stoic Long to end the show. Care for an explanation? So would I. It never really came, so whatever right?

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t that good. The match was boring and while they did use the surprising ending, it’s still Montreal. I have far more tolerance here than in TNA though, as this isn’t an alternative to WWE or anything like that. Either way, the match sucked and not much was going to save it. Nice twist though.

Overall Rating: D. The idea is ok but in reality this just didn’t work at all. Three of the seven matches could be on any TV show and while them being title matches helped a lot, they’re still just not very good other than the US Title match which isn’t great or anything. There’s some ok stuff in here, but at the same time all of the matches being the same thing takes away from it.

I’ll go with the same example I would go with from Cole at No Way Out one year when there were two chambers: “This is such an intense match. How long has it been since you saw something like this?” About 25 minutes Michael. That’s the thing: these matches are supposed to be about being way intense and stuff like that, but when you have three inside of two hours it just doesn’t work.

There’s some ok stuff in here but by the end you just want it to be over which is never a good sign. Check it out if you’re a fan of the modern product, but overall this was a failed experiment, meaning it’ll be back this year.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the final Raw before the Over the Limit PPV and we have our main event in the form of Cena vs. Miz for the title.  Other than that there isn’t a ton here so we’ll likely fill out the rest of the card tonight for the red show.  Over the Limit feels like a filler PPV which is rarely a good thing.  Hopefully Raw gives me a reason to not think that after tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage.  Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena.  Here’s Miz -who looks weird without the title.  Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz.  They’re in the ring now and Cena isn’t pleased.  We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.

Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious.  He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he won’t be saying he’s awesome.  He’ll be saying he quits.  An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cena’s opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it can’t involve Miz or Riley.  Miz isn’t sure yet on either option.

Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk

 

I’m not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk.  Punk takes over to start and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp.  Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again.  Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two.  Knee drop gets the same.  He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.

That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried.  Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand.  He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise.  GTS can’t hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner.  There’s the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.

Rating: C+. This was fine and I can live with Kofi losing here as he was distracted by Nexus and he lost to a guy with a far better resume than he had.  I’d love to see these guys get more time out there as the stuff they had worked quite well while it lasted.  This was fine for a TV match.

Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.

Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.

Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Non-title again.  We talk about the Divas on Twitter because that’s about all there is to talk about.  Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter.  The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock.  Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.

Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and it’s Kharma time.  HUGE pop for the music coming on too.  Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back.  Implant Buster to the other one.  We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw.  She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.

Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.

That’s What I Am ad.

Here’s Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week.  He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last week’s main event or any for that matter.  He’s still waiting as we go to a break.  Back and instead it’s Alberto coming out to see Rey.  He talks about how he’s a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey.  Rey says he’s proud to be a Chicano and an American.  If Truth isn’t here, then he has no problem shutting Alberto’s mouth instead.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

 

They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto.  Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break.  Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey can’t quite fight back.  Alberto puts on an armbar.  Make that a LONG armbar.

Rey starts his comeback and here’s R-Truth up in the rafters.  He wants the cops to be called as there’s a thief here as Rey stole his title shot.  Alberto doesn’t take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage.  He speeds things up a bit more and it’s 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.

Rating: D+. Very boring match here as it was about 80% armbar and commercial.  The point was to set up the Truth stuff post match but can’t you have a good match at the same time that you’re setting up an angle?  Pretty weak stuff overall and not what you would expect from these two.

The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm.  Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got.  The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.

Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.

Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler.  Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole signs immediately as does Lawler.  Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match.  We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Cole’s feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Bret’s feet and then his own also.

Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up.  That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart.  He’s not even a Jack Swagger.  Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole.  Swagger isn’t happy with this and says he’s all yours King before leaving.  Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again.  On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it.  Cole is crying as the segment ends.

Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up.  Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.

Cole is all annoyed now.

Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

 

Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didn’t watch the show).  Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy?  Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down.  Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch.  The non-champs work on Show’s leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.

Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag.  Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and there’s the tag to Kane.  Otunga’s boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears.  Kane beats up both guys but here’s Ryan in for the…..not DQ as he doesn’t get any contact in.  Show takes him down on the floor and it’s chokeslam time.  Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here and nice to see a little surprise as Nexus might actually be getting a push for a change.  Nexus is never going to be as strong as they were at first but this is nice to see as instead of just standing around they actually get a few wins.  Hopefully the tag titles change hands soon though as Kane and Show can only do their unstoppable giants deal so long before it gets incredibly dull.

Truth is Miz’s latest recruit.  As long as they don’t have another match I have zero issues there.

We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.

Kane and Show say the loss means nothing.  There’s a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.

Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.

Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match.  Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger

 

Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him.  Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop.  The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex.  Vader Bomb hits as we take a break.  Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post.  Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.

Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble.  Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this.  Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena.  Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.

Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair.  Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total.  Better match than I was expecting.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event here as Cena and Swagger continue to have rather solid chemistry together.  Cena gets to win a match by submission to prove that he can even though we already knew he could.  Swagger looked good out there and got to be in control the majority of the time, which is what they should have done.  Good stuff.

Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he’s against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena.  Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.

Miz says he won’t use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn’t thought of yet.  He says he’s going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before.  Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here.  Miz won’t use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight.  Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show.  Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit.  Staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show here as they added some stuff to the PPV as well as built up a bit of drama for it.  It still feels like a filler PPV but it’s more interesting now or at least more fleshed out.  For a go home show this was certainly adequate but it only gets my interest up for the PPV a little bit.  Good enough though.

Results

CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston – GTS

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Cradle

Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – McGillicutter to Kane

John Cena b. Jack Swagger – STF

Extreme Rules 2010
Date: April 25, 2010
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Arena
Attendance: 12,278
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Ok so here we are. Again this is hopefully going to be a live review so if it comes off as odd don’t be surprised. This show was plagued by a lack of Raw build up show due to the volcano in Iceland. Even still though, this is a minor PPV as it’s just a rehash of the Mania feuds. This is the show where everything is a gimmick match which is always at least cool in theory. The main event is Batista/Cena in a last man standing match. Let’s get to it.

Opening video more or less says that Extreme rules. Cute. Incredibly stupid, but cute. Rey/Punk gets a higher billing than Edge/Jericho. That’s rather odd. Standard video package that sums up everything. WWE is very user friendly. It’s easy to step into any show and get what’s going on. That’s a HUGE perk for attracting new fans.

Street Fight: HHH vs. Sheamus

WOW. This is the opener? I’m stunned actually. This has been a decent build up to a feud…and there’s no HHH. ICELAND ATTACKS AGAIN! We go to the back and Sheamus has jumped HHH. I like it. It gives things a feeling of you don’t know what’s coming which is a very nice touch to say the least. The pale one has a steel pipe and gets in a solid shot on HHH’s head. I guess this has officially started but I’m not sure. The referee calls for the medic and we go to the arena.

And Big Show and Miz are here. Ok then. These two aren’t scheduled but I’d bet on a tag title match. They’re not scheduled but they just happen to have their wrestling gear on. The jacket on Miz works in some weird way. Miz has risen so far so fast that it’s amazing. I think Bret is going to be here soon.

Oh apparently they’re moving that to tomorrow. They say they have a lack of competition and they’re praying for opponents. I smell Kane for some reason. Here’s Teddy Long. He makes ShowMiz vs. a team of his choosing. This is just for a title shot, not the titles. Got it. And the opponents are….not announced yet. I’m liking this live way of reviewing actually. Ah .

Tag Team Gauntlet

R-Truth and Morrison are opening us up here. This is the first of three teams. I know this is a rematch of Mania but come on now. Actually this works so I can’t complain that much. Cole says the fans are behind the face team. NO REALLY? It’s a bit better than the previous one at Mania, but not by much. Morrison screws up and gets disqualified by not letting Show out of the ropes when he has a triangle choke on. Ok then.

Team number two is MVP/Mark Henry. This is rather short but it works fine I guess. Without going into details, MVP gets punched and pinned.

Cue Hart Dynasty, Hart Attack, pin. Literally, that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Too much of a mess to really grade it as a regular match. Something like this was needed to flesh out the card though. It came off fine though.

Grisham tries to give us an update on HHH but Sheamus says he’ll have to forfeit or get a worse beating.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Remember if Punk loses his head is shaved. Punk NEEDS this. Rey is wearing a Skelator mask. Ok then. Punk hits that sweet powerslam of his. In a nice spot, Punk just throws Punk under the ropes so he crashes into the floor. Nicely done. Gallows has a bit of an Austin look going for him.

Decent match far and longer than their Mania one I think. Come on WWE don’t kill Punk off yet. He busts out a bow and arrow of all things. Nice. Striker tries to turn Cole and Lawler to Straightedge. I like it. Punk busts out a freaking Gory Special of all things. See? Even back then they had special moves. No Mercy stole from them! Punk is more or less dominating, which scares me to no end. Serena stops the 619 and she and Gallows get ejected.

Rey hits an Asai Moonsault to get right back into it. Crowd is red hot by the way. Rey gets a seated senton but Punk hits a dropkick to make the save. This is a storied rivalry already. No Striker. Just no. Punk hits his springboard clothesline and I can’t stand Rey anymore. Seriously, get over the whole overcoming the odds idea.

It’s just stupid anymore. GTS is countered into a rana for 2 and then punk kicks Rey’s head off. Solid match to put it mildly. Rey gets the freaking 619 and someone slides a chair into the ring. It’s a bald guy that slides under the ring. No clue who that was. He also drops Rey with something on the floor and Rey is out. GTS ends it. YES!

Rating: A-. VERY good match that had me wondering who would win up until the very end. Also, this is the way the match needed to end. Rey needed to lose here and Punk now has a credible win in this gimmick. That was a great match though. Love it and yes my Punk bias likely has a lot to do with it but still.

Strap Match: JTG vs. Shad Gaspar

It’s the four corners version here which I’m in the minority that actually prefers it that way. I just could not care less about this match. I truly couldn’t. JTG needs to win to regain credibility apparently. That would imply he had it to begin with, which is a straight up lie. Shad is dominating for the most part here. Yeah riveting.

Wow the crowd is SILENT for this. Who would have seen that coming? Shad just destroys JTG here and beats on him with the strap sans mercy. Shad gets his first three…and JTG does the same three. Not THIS finish again. Yep. JTG hits his finisher and dives for the 4th corner. Screw me running at least it’s over.

Rating: D-. And I like these kinds of matches. The crowd simply could not care less and it came off very clearly here. I mean NO ONE cared. Just boring here with two guys that have no heat on them at all. At least it’s over though.

HHH can’t fight tonight. Yeah I’ll buy that.

Orton vs. Swagger is next? Really? We hit the recap. You know the drill by now.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. I liked it for what it was. No classic but not bad at all.

And here’s Sheamus. Ok then. And despite not being able to feel his hand, here comes HHH. Ok, if he wins here, I give up.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH

HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.

Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.

HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.

Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.

Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.

Ad for Over the Limit. Oh dear.

Edge is getting ready.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful.

Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really?

Ad for the Mania DVD.

Jericho does his usual great promo about how it ends tonight. He looks buff to say the least.

No recap actually.

Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Ah ok we got a quick recap after Edge’s intro. Makes more sense. Jericho stalls a lot to play himself some heel. Ah there we go now they’re both in. And we see Jericho’s tights pulled down. Didn’t need that one there. Jericho gets rammed into the cage. Striker: The metal militia bares its fangs.

Edge goes for the spear but misses entirely. That’s never a good thing. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho busts out from time to time. Striker talks about footwork and Lawler just couldn’t care less. In a cool spot, Jericho hits a leg whip from the top into the Walls. Nicely done. Edge does the climb the ropes spot to get out which is a nice counter.

Jericho has the door open and knocks Edge to the middle of the ring. Then of course like an idiot he gets out of the cage and goes back in. Yeah he’s an idiot. Edge hits a fast spear for two. Codebreaker gets two and we fight on top of the cage for a bit. Edge gets crotched and Jericho gets out AGAIN but this time Edge stops him from falling.

We fight on top even more and Jericho comes back into the cage. And so does Edge. In a NICE spot, Edge is standing on the top rope and Jericho gets a running start, hits the other rope and into a Codebreaker so both guys are down. Nice. That only gets two for a pretty weak pop. Jericho goes for the top of the cage but Edge saves again.

He slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. That would freaking hurt. Edge spins the ankle around in a weird move. This is more psychological than anything else. Ok not really but there’s some of it in there. More ankle work. Edge hits a CRAP spear for the pin. Why does the announcer’s voice always crack when he’s saying superstar?

Rating: B. Good match here but not great. If nothing else, this gives Edge the definitive win here. That’s the biggest thing I think. It wasn’t great, but it did its purpose. Solid stuff, but nothing great though. Also, stop the stupid pinning in the cage. It’s just so idiotic. Two men enter, one man leaves. Not two men enter, one keeps the other down for three seconds.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. You know it by now.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

Overall Rating: B. I thought this was solid. Not great, but solid. Again, you have to keep in mind what you’re looking at here. Just by the name alone, Extreme Rules, you know this isn’t a standard PPV. It was a gimmick show and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There isn’t a truly bad match all show, with the strap match and I guess the Divas match being the low points.

However you have a surprise ending and hot women. What more do you need? As for the best part of this show, the youth movement continues. Swagger gets a HUGE win over Orton and did it on his own. He countered the RKO, he hit the Bomb, he got the pin. That’s all you need. Also, Punk got the win that the needed in a great match. All of a sudden, he has credibility and momentum all over again. That’s all you need again.

Oh and Sheamus beats the crap out of HHH. Overall, this show did a great job of closing a lot of doors and getting the rest of the ones opened that need to be opened. This was a successful show. I’ll go with that. Oh and one more thing: there was a feeling of you didn’t know what was coming due to the opening of the show. That’s a very important thing there and it worked very well.

Punk/Mysterio and the main event are worth seeing. Everything else is decent enough for a watch later on. This isn’t a great show, but in a few years it would be a great way to kill an afternoon when it’s raining. Good show.