That’s the big story today.http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/311438

Short version: Punk is sick and tired of the direction the company is going and doesn’t like the part timers taking the big spots.  Now of course there’s the chance that this is all a work, especially given that it’s Punk, but he’s coming off as rather whiny here if it’s true.  Punk was WWE Champion for well over a year and was without a doubt the #2 guy in the company.  I understand the problem with wanting to be the top guy and seeing people like Batista coming in and getting that spot, but this isn’t the way to go about it.  At least get through Wrestlemania and be written off TV.

However, I think he’ll be back for Wrestlemania and the showdown with HHH.  Either that or Bryan will take Punk’s spot and pin HHH clean.  The question is: will that be ok with the fans?

Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight marks the official start of the Road to Wrestlemania. We’re ten weeks away from the biggest show of the year and barring some surprising changes, the main event will be set in place tonight. The odds on favorite for the Rumble would seem to be Batista, but for the life of me I can’t imagine anyone but Daniel Bryan winning it. He isn’t entered yet, but there are about ten slots left open. Give him a late number and listen to the roof blow off the place. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Cody and Goldust are defending and lost a non-title match to the Outlaws to set this up. Road Dogg starts with Cody and is taken down by a quick shoulder block. Back up and Roadie hits his shaky fist but has to duck the Disaster Kick. Gunn comes in off the tag but is quickly sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline as we take a break. Back with Road Dogg dropping a knee on Goldust for two and putting on a chinlock.

Goldust fights back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Billy breaks up a tag attempt as the announcers brag about how Gunn hasn’t aged a bit since the 90s. For 50 years old the guys is in good shape. Goldust finally makes the hot tag and Cody speeds things up, including a double springboard missile dropkick to put both Outlaws down. Cross Rhodes lays out Road Dogg but Billy saves at two. Billy comes in off a blind tag as Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Roadie, setting up the Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:30.

Rating: C. I was surprised here. Not only was this not the result I was expecting, but the match was better than I thought it was going to be. The Brothers had been on one heck of a roll since the fall, but this likely leads into the Authority being corrupt storyline. That doesn’t make sense given that the Outlaws just won the match clean, but I’m assuming that’s the idea.

The opening video focuses on a countdown and how the Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight.

We recap Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt. Daniel joined the Wyatt Family a few weeks ago but only lasted two weeks in the group before turning on Bray in the huge face turn, despite him barely ever being a heel. Tonight is the showdown we’ve been waiting for.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is with Bray here, despite the idea of the match being that they’re not supposed to be here. Daniel fires off kicks to the leg and takes Bray down with a running knee but Bray gets in a shot of his own to take over. The Wyatts get in a few blows of their own and are ejected, with Bray saying he doesn’t need them to fight this war. Back in and Daniel gets in some kicks to the leg and a high cross body for two, only to be sent to the floor. Bray misses a charge into the steps and injures his knee again, giving Bryan the opening he’s been needing.

Daniel hooks something resembling an Indian Deathlock before stomping Bray’s face into the mat for two. They slug it out on the apron with the fans chanting YES/NO in time. Bray headbutts Daniel to stagger him and wrings his arm down onto the apron to take over. Back in and Bray is in serious mode now. We hit the chinlock but Daniel quickly fights up with forearms, only to be backdropped to the floor.

The annoying fans chant Jerry Lawler as Bray rams Daniel’s head into the post and drives in forearms for good measure. A running senton backsplash has Daniel in even more trouble and Bray asks the fans why they don’t help him. Bray catapults Daniel throat first into the ropes and we hit another chinlock. Wyatt does his spider walk out of the corner and the announcers of course laugh at Linda Blair jokes. He stays on Daniel’s neck with another chinlock but Daniel gets in a shot to the head and shakes the ropes before firing off even more strikes.

A drop toehold sends Bray into the middle buckle and there are the YES Kicks to the chest and leg. Daniel hooks a hurricanrana from the middle rope to send the big man flying but he’s out at two. Now the fans are into it by saying this is awesome and there’s the moonsault in the corner. Daniel loads up the clothesline but thankfully Bray knows what’s coming and hits a running elbow to stop Bryan’s comeback.

Bray misses a charge and falls to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit a running tornado DDT off the apron. Awesome looking move. There’s the running dropkick to knock Bray into the barricade and the missile dropkick puts him down back inside. Now the real YES Kicks have Bray in even more trouble as the fans are going nuts. The big kick to the head gets two and Daniel loads up the running dropkicks in the corner but Bray clotheslines him inside out for a very near fall.

Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and there’s the YES Lock but Bray bites the hand for the break. Bray’s superplex is countered with headbutts and Daniel hits a top rope splash to crush Wyatt. Daniel loads up the running knee but Bray bails to the floor. Bryan dives at him with the FLYING GOAT but Bray catches him in midair and hits a wicked Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail connects for the pin at 21:37.

Rating: A. Well that was awesome. This was a good example of a match where both guys could look great and only one could win. Daniel losing here isn’t a bad thing as he could still come back later and win the Rumble to make up for this. Both guys look better coming out of this and Bray was the one that needed the win more. As soon as he loses, a lot of his mystique is gone. Outstanding match here and something Bray needed.

The expert panel (HBK, Flair, Duggan) are impressed. Shawn seems fine after his fight with Bryan a few weeks ago.

Paul Heyman says Brock wants a title shot and talks about how great Big Show is. It doesn’t matter though as Brock is going to destroy him and then take over the WWE.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show doesn’t like Lesnar and is tired of him being a bully so tonight he’s standing up to him. He also stuffed a Lesnar takedown attempt on Raw earlier this week to show how strong he was.

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

For once this is under regular rules. Brock takes him down before the bell like an MMA fight and just mauls Big Show before blasting him over and over with a chair. More chair shots put Show on the mat as Jerry butchers history, saying Big Show gave Brock his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble (it was the 2002 Survivor Series). Show is beaten down even more with chair shot after chair shot. The bell still hasn’t rung.

The referee runs from Brock and Big Show says ring the bell. Brock comes at him with the chair but walks into the KO Punch which knocks Lesnar silly. He rolls to the floor and Big Show throws him around with ease. Back in and Brock ducks another KO Punch and gets caught in the F5. Lesnar WALKS AROUND WITH BIG SHOW ON HIS SHOULDERS and hits the biggest F5 you’ll ever see, making it more like an AA, for the pin at 2:05.

Post match Brock destroys him with even more chair shots, each one louder than the last. He bends two chairs over Show’s back so he goes to get a third and beats on Show’s leg. Show is left in a heap after what was much more of a segment than a match.

The Shield won’t tell each other their numbers. Rollins says the only number that matters is three.

Randy Orton says he’ll beat John Cena tonight and send him to the back of the line. Renee Young mentions Batista, Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt wanting title shots. Orton: “Bray Wyatt? He’s a Duck Dynasty reject.” The crowd laughs as Orton says it’s not John Cena’s night.

We get a LONG recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Randy beat him at TLC for the Undisputed Title in a TLC match but tonight it’s one fall with no stipulations. On top of that Orton attacked Cena’s father a few weeks ago on Raw to make it personal.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

We’re ready to go after the big match intros. The fans chant for Daniel Bryan and then that the match is boring. Cena takes him down with a headscissors and the chant shifts to the usual dueling Cena chants. Orton grabs a headlock and suplexes Cena down as the chants go to WE WANT ANGLE and Randy Savage. There’s a Y2J chant…..AND CENA TRIES FOR A LIONTAMER! It shifts the chants to Undertaker as Orton suplexes Cena back inside for two.

The fans think it’s boring as we’re in a chinlock less than five minutes into the match. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps as the crowd is restless again. Back to the Bryan chant and Orton actually shouts that he’s the champion and not Bryan. A nice DDT puts Cena down for two and the fans think both guys suck. Cena comes back with an electric chair for two and the shoulder blocks followed by the ProtoBomb. Orton counters the Shuffle with the powerslam but Cena comes back with his half nelson slam into a neckbreaker for two of his own.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but first has to block a superplex attempt before connecting for two. Orton throws him to the apron but Cena backdrops him to the floor to counter the Elevated DDT. The crowd has calmed down a bit now. Orton comes right back with the Elevated DDT on the floor and holds a finger to his ear for the crowd. Back inside and the RKO is countered into the STF as the crowd just does not care, probably because they know a title match isn’t ending less than fifteen minutes in.

Randy crawls over to the rope and gets in a shot to the head for a breather on the floor. Back in and Cena grabs another ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle but Orton grabs the rope to block the AA. The referee gets bumped and there’s the STF, making Randy tap but there’s no referee. Randy hits him in the face with the belt for two as the doctor revives the referee.

The fans think this is awful as an AA gets two for John. An RKO gets the same and the fans still don’t buy that the match is ending yet. Orton poses as the fans say they want Divas. With nothing else to do, Orton puts Cena in the STF but Cena is quickly out and has Orton in a Crossface. That’s countered into a rollup for two and Orton hits an AA (done more like Cena used to do it without going down) for two more.

Cena of course hits an RKO for two of his own before loading up the middle rope AA, only to have Orton get free pretty quickly. A tornado DDT puts Orton down and sets up the STF in the middle of the ring….and cue the Wyatts. Cena chases them off but walks into the RKO for the pin at 20:53. Orton was surprised by the Wyatts being there.

Rating: B. The worst part about the crowd: the match was good. Trading finishers was something new for these guys, which is impressive as they’ve had about a dozen matches on PPV alone. The Wyatts interfering would seem to set up Cena vs. Wyatt at Mania, which is interesting to say the least. Good stuff here, as the show continues to rock.

Cena is destroyed as Orton bails. Bray hits Sister Abigail after shouting BEHOLD THE CREATORS OF THE NEW WORLD.

The New Age Outlaws tell Renee Young to put some more onto their intro. We look at the end of the preshow match and it’s a new record for longest time between title reigns at 14 years. They have two words for Renee: new champs.

We even get old school Rumble promos!

Miz will do whatever it takes to headline Wrestlemania again.

The Usos say only one can win and go to Wrestlemania.

Langston is ready.

Fandango wants to go to the Big Dance.

Batista: “Exactly.”

Sandow says insanity means trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. He won’t make them again.

Ryback says his unlimited energy takes him to Wrestlemania.

Rey Mysterio says he’ll shock the world again.

Back to the expert panel. Shawn picks Shield or Punk. Flair picks Batista. Duggan picks…..Dolph Ziggler?

Royal Rumble

90 second entrants this year and it’s Punk at #1 and Rollins at #2. Punk takes him back into the corner to start but Rollins puts him onto the top, only to be elbowed in the head. Punk comes back with strikes but Rollins just punches him into the face. A kick to Seth’s ribs slows him down but he avoids a big kick to the face and hits a running dropkick. There’s a running forearm in the corner but Punk comes back with the running knee. He calls for the GTS but gets caught by an enziguri. Punk kicks him in the face and both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3.

Sandow goes right for Punk as Rollins gets a breather. Punk gets double teamed but comes back with a neckbreaker to Rollins/DDT to Sandow combo to put both guys down. He tries to throw Rollins out but Sandow breaks it up. Cody Rhodes is in at #4, meaning people from earlier in the night can be in as well. He hits a quick Cross Rhodes on Damien but Seth prevents an elimination. Sandow charges at Punk and is backdropped out to get us back to three.

Rollins gets double teamed but Kane is #5, wrestling in black dress pants. He goes right after Punk and stomps him down in the corner before hitting a nice side slam. Punk blocks the chokeslam with a high kick and throws Kane out with relative ease. Alexander Rusev, a Bulgarian monster from NXT, is in at #6. He immediately starts cleaning house but only throws Cody and Rollins to the apron. Alexander picks up Punk and throws him around with a fallaway slam and it’s Jack Swagger at #7.

Jack charges to the ring and hits a quick Vader Bomb on Rollins and Cody as the ring is filling up a bit. We get a showdown between Rusev and Swagger and the fans chant USA. Rusev takes over with a clothesline and a charge in the corner but Rollins takes Alexander’s leg out and it’s a triple team with everyone not named Punk stomping the Bulgarian. The fans are WAY into this.

Kofi Kingston is in at #8 and you can feel the big save coming. He rolls into the ring and immediately punches Punk down but can’t throw him out. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Swagger as Kofi goes after Rusev, who he’s been feuding with in NXT. Swagger has Rollins upside down in the corner but can’t get him out. Jimmy Uso is in at #9 and hits a quick Bubba Bomb on Rollins and gets in shots on everyone else. Punk headbutts Jimmy and we get some good old fashioned racial sterotypes as it has no effect.

Goldust is in at #10, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Rusev, Swagger and Uso. He takes Rollins down with some right hands and hits the kneeling uppercut on Jimmy. Rusev punches the paint off Goldie’s face to stop his momentum and eveyrone gangs up on Alexander again. We need some eliminations here. A big group of about five people get Rusev out in a showing that could have gone longer.

Kofi is knocked to the apron and into Rusev’s arms, so he lays him on the barricade and drives knees into Kingston’s back. Kofi stands up on the barricade and tightropes across before jumping ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE APRON in an incredible athletic display. Ambrose (coming through the entrance) is in at #11. He goes right for Kofi and then Punk as Swagger is in big trouble but gets back inside. Things slow down a bit as Goldust slides back in under the ropes. Dolph Ziggler returns at #12.

Ziggler speeds things up by pounding on everyone but is put on the apron in just a few seconds. The ring is really getting full as we need a monster to clear it out. Instead we get R-Truth at #13 but is double teamed by the two Shield members. They toss him to the apron and Ambrose kicks him out with ease. Jimmy goes up but gets kicked in the head, allowing Ambrose to shove him out as well. Kofi is on the apron but has to block a boot from Swagger. He holds onto it so long that he’s literally hanging in by his feet and pulls Jack’s boot off.

Kevin Nash of all people is in at #14, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Nash, Ziggler, Ambrose, Goldust, Swagger, Rhodes and Kingston. Nash puts out Swagger as soon as he gets in but has to deal with Shield. Things slow down again and it’s Roman Reigns in at #15 to put the entire Shield in the match. There’s a spear to Cody and a headbutt to Nash’s chest. Roman catches Trouble in Paradise and throws Kofi out but shrugs off the Zig Zag and hits a GREAT spear on Ziggler for a quick elimination.

Nash is low bridged out by Reigns as well as the ring is rapidly emptying out. Goldust and Cody go after Reigns but Rollins makes a save. Great Khali is in at #16 and Shield is on him as he comes in. The giant shoves all of them down but a Superman Punch knocks him into the ropes, allowing all three of them to put Khali out. Goldust, Punk and Rhodes pair off with the three guys but Cody is sent to the floor, only to be accidentally knocked out by his brother. Reigns dumps Goldust and we’re down to Punk vs. Shield.

Things even up a lot as Sheamus returns at #17. Shield is right on him but the pale one fights them off and gets them all in different corners. There are the ten forearms to Ambrose’s chest with the last one being to the exposed chest. An Irish Curse puts Rollins down and a Brogue Kick knocks Reigns silly. Sheamus stands tall but Reigns is dead weight. Rollins and Ambrose double team Sheamus and it’s Miz at #18, giving us Shield, Punk, Sheamus and Miz.

Everyone pairs off again but they all wind up in one corner. Punk has been down for a long time now but is likely just getting a breather. The clock is going very fast tonight as Fandango is in at #19. Shield swarms Sheamus as Fandango goes after Miz. Punk is still down in the corner. The fans want Daniel Bryan but get El Torito at #20. As in the little guy in the white bull costume.

Naturally he beats up a few guys but Punk gives him a look that channels Miz by saying “really?” Punk grabs him by the head but gets caught in a freaking hurricanrana. Fandango runs him over (JBL: “PETA is going to be mad. I head Mantaur is his grandfather.”) but gets hurricanranaed to the apron and dropkicked out by the bull. Torito dives on Reigns like an idiot though and is LAUNCHED onto Fandango for his sixth elimination. We’re back to Miz, Sheamus and Punk vs. Shield.

Cesaro is in at #21 and picks Miz up for a quick Cesaro Swing. Punk gets one as well but Rollins and Ambrose break it up. Cesaro rams them into each other and swings Rollins until it’s Luke Harper at #22. Reigns spears Cesaro down as things slow again. Rollins and Cesaro slug it out and Jey Uso is in at #23, giving us Shield, Sheamus, Miz, Jey, Punk, Cesaro and Harper. Speaking of Cesaro and Harper, they have a big power slugout with Harper kicking Cesaro’s head off to take over.

JBL of all people is in at #24 to a BIG pop and comes in wearing a full suit and tie. He yells at Cole to come take his coat, allowing Reigns to throw him out with ease. That’s #7 for Reigns. Erick Rowan is in at #25 and teams up with Harper to dump Miz, leaving us Shield, the Wyatt Family, Miz, Punk, Sheamus, Cesaro and Jey Uso. Jey is kicked out by Harper and Shield stares down the Wyatts as Ryback is in at #26. Everyone brawls and Alberto Del Rio is #27.

Nothing much happens until Batista is in for the big cleanup spot at #28. He’s in very short shorts instead of trunks but still looks good. He clotheslines Rowan out and it’s showdown time with Ryback. They slug it out and Cesaro has to dive out of the way of a launched Batista. Ryback is backdropped out by Big Dave but Del Rio clips Batista and kicks him in the head. Batista easily picks Alberto up and tosses him out though, right before Big E. Langston is in at #29.

Langston starts with a nice belly to belly on Batista and a series of backbreakers to Sheamus. The fans start chanting YES as the clock is ticking down. #30 is…….Rey Mysterio, completely letting the air out of the arena. The final group is Punk, Shield, Harper, Sheamus, Cesaro, Mysteiro, Langston and Batista. Rey and Rollins try to eliminate each other but neither go out. Sheamus knocks out Langston to get us down to ten but the fans just do not care now.

Rollins tosses Mysterio to a pop because he’s not who the fans wanted to see. Rollins and Ambrose stomp Sheamus down in the corner and get Harper to the apron but Reigns Superman Punches him out. Ambrose tries to get rid of Reigns but can’t quite do it, triggering an argument. Cesaro goes after both of them so Reigns dumps Cesaro, Rollins and Ambrose, which ties Kane’s record of eleven. His reward is a spinebuster as we’re down to four: Punk, Batista, Sheamus and Reigns.

Make that three as Kane comes in and pulls Punk out before chokeslamming him through the table. The final three are Reigns, Batista and Sheamus who are all down as the fans chant for Mysterio. Everyone slowly gets back up and the fans boo this out of the building. This would be Sheamus’ third straight final three by the way. Batista breaks up a spear to Sheamus as the NO chants begin. Sheamus rewards him with the Regal Roll but Batista ducks the Brogue Kick.

A backdrop puts Sheamus on the apron and Reigns dumps him for the record at 12 eliminations. Batista thinks he dumps Reigns but Roman slides back in as we’re down to two. Roman unzips the vest and stares Batista down as the fans are somewhat into this. They slug it out with Reigns taking over but Batista comes back with a spear. The fans are COMPLETELY behind Reigns here as he spears Batista right back. He’s all fired up….but Batista easily throws him out for the win at 55:10, letting the air out of the arena again.

Rating: B. It was a really good Rumble, but man alive if that crowd reaction doesn’t change something, nothing is going to. I’ve been watching wrestling my entire life and I have never ever heard a crowd just go silent like they did when Mysterio came out. I mean they just DIED. Batista was destined to win this thing, even though he was the completely wrong pick. Reigns looks like a STAR here but needed the win to cement it. Batista just was not the right pick here, but you knew it was coming the entire time.

The fans are not pleased as a lot of fireworks go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Very ticked off crowd to say the least, this was an outstanding show. Everything was either good to excellent with only the world title match being a step below the rest. Raw tomorrow night is going to be VERY interesting as they’re either going to change a lot of stuff or have the worst crowd reaction to a Wrestlemania of all time. I had an awesome night with this show, but Batista should not have gotten that win, period.

I’ll have more in depth thoughts and analysis on the Rumble tomorrow after it’s had a better chance to process.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail

Brock Lesnar b. Big Show – F5

Randy Orton b. John Cena – RKO

Batista won the Royal Rumble, last eliminating Roman Reigns

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After Smackdown last night I’m actually excited for the show.

As always we’ll start with the pre-show match.  I can’t imagine they’ll take the belts off the Rhodes Brothers and give them to the Outlaws, especially not on a pre-show.  The Brothers have been on fire as of late and come off like main event players, so the belts stay with them.  The Outlaws have been impressive though as they’re basically at the same level they were on fifteen years ago.

Lesnar over Big Show.  There’s a chance they’ll do a double DQ, but Big Show doesn’t get hurt by losing as he’ll get at least two world title shots on PPV this year.

Orton keeps the title in a match I think people forget exists.  The booking of this feud has been completely backwards with the title match being booked and then making it personal and the gimmick match leading off the feud.  I don’t believe for a second that there won’t be interference of some sort and Orton keeps the title.  I have very little desire to see this match.

I have a feeling we get a no contest/unclean ending to Bray vs. Bryan.  THe Wyatts losing kills most of the mystique but Bryan is so hot right now that you can’t have him lose at a big PPV.  I think they drag this out to another show which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Now for the real main event with the Rumble itself.  Until #30 enters and it’s not Bryan, I’ll take Daniel Bryan as the favorite to win.  He’s the hottest thing in years and there are only twenty entrants accounted for so far.  Yeah there are a lot of rumors out there about what might be coming for him at Wrestlemania but I’ll believe the card when it’s announced on Raw.  If Bryan isn’t in there, this is going to Batista, which it likely is anyway.  Punk will make a good run but Kane will screw him over, setting up Punk vs. Kane at Elimination Chamber which sets up Punk vs. HHH at Wrestlemania.

If AJ vs. Naomi is added, the champion keeps the title.

Overall the show definitely has me interested because the Rumble is a match that can go several ways.  Yeah Batista is the big favorite at this point, but there are other options to winning it.  The other matches should be fun though I have less of a desire to see them.  The good thing about the RUmble is that a third of the show is spent on one match, so the entire show hinges on that alone.

Thoughts/predictions?

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Smackdown
Date: January 24, 2014
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for the Rumble and not a lot changed this past week on Raw. Batista is back and apparently people are still interested in him, meaning I can’t imagine anyone else taking the Rumble at this point. Since it’s Friday, I’m guessing we’ll be getting a big tag match to close out the week. Let’s get to it.

We open with an in memory of George Scott graphic. Always nice to see.

Opening sequence actually opens us up.

The main event tonight is a ten man tag with the Usos/Rhodes Brothers/Langston vs. Shield/New Age Outlaws.

The Real Americans are in the ring to start with Colter ranting about Big Show attacking him. Unfortunately his voice is better now and not as awesome as it was last week. We get a clip from two weeks ago of Big Show knocking Colter out cold which set up tonight’s tag match with Show/Mysterio vs. the Real Americans. Colter doesn’t think Mysterio is his real name either. Speaking of names, Colter comes up with various names for Big Show/Mysterio: the Border Jumping Buddies, Tacos Supremos Hold the Salsa and El Gordito and the Jumping Bean.

Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio

Swagger charges at Big Show to start and is easily thrown down. Some forearms to the back send Jack running to the corner for a tag off to Cesaro who is thrown around as well. Show puts his foot on Cesaro’s face and lifts him up by the arm for a kind of reverse curb stomp. Cesaro is tossed out to the floor and Mysterio takes him down with a seated senton off the apron. A kick to the face drops Swagger and we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a chinlock on Mysterio until Rey fights up and gets two off a rollup.

Antonio doesn’t like being covered so he Swings Mysterio around for a few seconds. Off to Swagger who counters catches a middle rope hurricanrana in midair, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Cesaro comes back in but the Real Americans get caught in a double DDT, allowing for the hot tag to Big Show. The monster hiptosses both Americans with ONE ARM. That’s very cool looking, even if both of them helped with the throw. A 619 sets up the WMD and the splash off Big Show’s shoulders for the pin on Cesaro at 8:52.

Rating: C-. The match was formula stuff but it made Big Show look good going into the showdown on Sunday. Mysterio was just kind of there but it’s good to see him in the ring instead of on the injured list all the time. He’s nowhere near what he used to be but at his age and with his knees held together with glue, it’s about as good as you can expect.

Heyman comes out post match and tells Big Show to enjoy his health while he can, because there will be nothing to celebrate on Sunday. Big Show did throw Lesnar around on Monday, but it’s only made Brock want to hurt Big Show even more. Lesnar will be WWE Champion after dealing with the giant.

The Miz vs. Brodus Clay

Before the match, Wade Barrett’s podium rises up and he informs us that while the ten man tag will be awesome tonight, this is going to be one of the worst matches in WWE history. He starts the MIZ IS AWFUL chant and bangs his gavel in place of the five clap sequence. That’s really not something you should say on your programming, even for a Miz match. Miz jumps Barrett while the crowd takes up the chant. Barrett keeps taking jabs at the match, calling it one of the worst things he’s ever seen and thinking the crowd wants milk and cookies. He asks Clay to dance and the distraction lets Miz hits a DDT for the pin at 1:22.

Miz goes up to the podium but Barrett laughs down at him.

Rumble By The Numbers promo.

AJ Lee vs. Cameron

Non-title. AJ quickly takes her down but charges into a boot in the corner. Cameron stops to dance a bit before dropping a leg for two. A baseball slide puts Naomi down but she walks into a Shining Wizard for the pin at 1:32.

Post match Tamina goes after Cameron but Naomi makes the save and lays AJ out with a Bubba Bomb.

Raw ReBound shows Batista returning and laying out Alberto.

Shield says twenty seven other men are going to enter the Royal Rumble as hungry dogs. Those other people can pretend they’re going to have a chance but it’s just wishful thinking. All of the other men are casualties and Reigns says he’ll win.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Los Matadores

JBL thinks El Torito is a descendant of Mr. Ed. Ryback slams Diego down for an early two before Axel comes in to ram Diego into the corner. A nice running dropkick keeps Diego in trouble, causing Josh to say Torito has a look of concern on his face. JBL: “HE’S A BULL!” Back to Ryback who toys with Diego even more before jumping off the middle rope into a pair of boots. Axel can’t break up the hot tag attempt and Fernando comes in to clean house. A double arm DDT gets two on Axel but Ryback makes the save and throws Diego to the floor. Fernando throws Ryback out, only to get rolled up by Axel for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C-. I believe that’s Los Matadores’ first loss, but thankfully they stayed undefeated for so long because they haven’t been on TV all that much. They’re just not an interesting team at all and I can’t picture them lasting much longer without being relegated to Superstars. It’s nice to see Axel get a pin as well.

Post match Torito IMMEDIATELY sends Axel to the floor and dives on him Ryback so the fans won’t have their spirits crushed or something.

Here’s Punk to address Kane making him #1 in the Rumble. We get a clip of Punk calling Kane a suck up last week, earning himself a chokeslam as well as a clip from Raw of Kane apologizing and getting knocked to the floor. Punk talks about the Authority’s lapdog making him the #1 entrant in the Rumble to stack the deck against him. That’s what he expected from HHH and Stephanie but it just motivates him to become WWE Champion again.

He’s done a lot in the WWE but the one glaring omission is winning the Rumble. Now that he’s #1 it might be the toughest match he’s ever competed in, but that’s what you have to expect if you call yourself the best in the world. On Sunday he’s going to punch the lion in the face and do everything he can to be the last man standing.

This brings out Kane who says that Punk has a .000000186 chance of winning, or one in five hundred million. Maybe his odds are a little better because he’s best in the world though. Punk says never tell him the odds and that it’s sad to see what has happened to the Devil’s Favorite Demon. Is he the Authority’s Favorite Statistician now? Punk isn’t worried because the #1 entrant has won before and he’s been the best since day one.

We recap Bryan vs. Wyatt who have a match on Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that showdown.

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players

Harper pounds on Young in the corner to start before kicking his head off with a big boot. Off to Rowan who takes off the mask to reveal that hideous face of his. Harper loads up a whip to send Rowan into the corner but instead Rowan whips Harper into the other corner to take out Titus. The discus lariat ends Young at 1:05 in a total squash.

Darren gets Sister Abigail post match and Bray says he’ll change the world. You can hear some Bo Dallas in his voice as he speaks, only to have Daniel Bryan cut him off. Bryan says listen to these people because they don’t fear fate, the reapers or burning with the saints. On Sunday, Daniel will no longer be trapped in Bray’s madness, but Bray will be trapped in Daniel’s prison. He’ll find out who the real monster is as the fans chant YES.

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

During the entrances we get an inset interview from Kofi who says that he’s done some amazing things to stay in the Rumble, but this Sunday he’s going to perform his greatest feat of all: win the Royal Rumble and go on to headline Wrestlemania. Simple, to the point, ties into his character’s history. I’d love these sort of promos to be more common.

A shoulder block puts Kofi down and Fandango gyrates a bit. Back up and Kofi throws him over the top and out to the corner (nice touch) and we get an Emma sighting. Fandango rams him into the apron to take over and something resembling a Pele gets two on Kofi back inside. Kingston pops back up and sends Fandango into the ropes for Trouble in Paradise and the pin at 2:57. Just a match.

Rumble By The Numbers Part II.

Long recap of Cena vs. Orton.

New Age Outlaws/Shield vs. Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big E. Langston

Jimmy and Rollins get things going with Seth stomping him down in the corner. They run the ropes a few times until Jimmy stops to dance and grab an arm. Ambrose comes in and has his arm worked on for a few minutes before a right hand gets two. Langston gets the tag and charges into Ambrose’s ribs in the corner before hitting a series of backbreakers to keep Dean in trouble. Dean gets a boot up in the corner and tags in Reigns for a big running clothesline.

Big E. gets triple teamed for a bit but just powers Shield off and makes the tag to Cody. Things speed up a bit with a springboard missile dropkick and the Disaster Kick but Gunn comes in for a shot from behind to take over. We take a break and come back with Cody sunset flipping Rollins for two before Seth takes him down again. Gunn gets the tag and drops a knee for two. The heels continue their tagging with Reigns hammering on his back and holding him in place with a cravate.

Dean comes back in with a spinning belly to back suplex for two but Cody fights out of a belly to back superplex and hits the moonsault press on the now legal Reigns. Goldust gets the hot tag to clean house and even hits a top rope hurricanrana to blow everyone’s minds. A powerslam gets two on Road Dogg and here’s Langston for the Big Ending on Rollins but Roman makes the save with a spear.

Jey superkicks Reigns down and Jimmy adds the Superfly Splash but throws Dean to the floor instead of covering. The Usos load up the stereo dives but Billy cuts off Jimmy and takes him down with the Fameasser. Cody comes back in for the Disaster Kick but Roadie takes him down with the pumphandle slam, only to have Goldust grab a rollup but Shield makes a save as the match is thrown out at 13:20.

Rating: B-. This was an old formula tag match but the very hot finish helped it out a lot. I’m a sucker for the parade of finishers to set up the ending and when you have ten guys it’s quite a long parade. The DQ ending is a smart move here as you don’t want anyone doing a job going into the Rumble or a title match.

Everybody gets in and we get the traditional huge brawl with everyone else announced for the Rumble (other than Batista of course) coming to join in the fight. CM Punk comes out to a BIG pop to get in on the brawl as the show goes off the air.

Overall Rating: B. This is the show they’ve been needing to have since the beginning of the year. Tonight was about the Rumble match itself with people wanting to go to Wrestlemania, which is the whole point of the show this Sunday. The other matches got some nice build as well and for once I’m excited for the entire show. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be about good matches or the in ring action and it wasn’t the focus. Good episode tonight which did its job.

Results

Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Cesaro

The Miz b. Wade Barrett – DDT

AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard

Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Los Matadores – Rollup to Fernando

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to Young

Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise

Usos/Big E. Langston/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield/New Age Outlaws via DQ when all three members of Shield came into the ring

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 2014
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

In case you haven’t watched WWE in the last month and a half or so, Batista is making his return tonight after a nearly four year absence. It’s also the go home show for the Royal Rumble which is starting to take shape. Coming out of last week the big story is Daniel Bryan turning face again, but unfortunately he suffered a concussion last week and is likely out of the show this Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a tribute to Martin Luther King and various other African American pioneers such as Jackie Robinson, Muhammad Ali and Barack Obama. Vince always does something for this holiday.

The Authority is in the ring to open the show and both hype up the Rumble on Sunday. HHH introduces Batista but Orton comes out instead. He wants to know who the Authority thinks they are but Stephanie asks Orton who he thinks he is. Stephanie turns this into an ad for the WWE Network before showing us footage from last week with Kofi Kingston pinning Orton, causing Randy to attack John Cena’s dad at ringside.

Stephanie rips him apart for the attack and threatens to fire Orton if it happens again. Randy blames it on the Authority for making his life difficult. Orton says there wouldn’t be a WWE Network without him and says he wouldn’t change a thing if he could. HHH cuts him off and gives Orton a big pep talk, saying Orton can take care of Cena, Lesnar and Batista and he doesn’t have to attack old men. Randy needs to be a man and fix whatever is broken inside him. He’ll get the chance to do that tonight by facing Kofi Kingston in a rematch. After that, he gets to face Cena in this ring tonight for an apology, all alone.

Now that HHH is done making the WWE Champion look like a five year old, here’s Batista’s big return. Batista bows to the fans and hugs HHH before slowly looking at Randy. Orton sticks out his hand but Batista says hello instead. He understands Orton has some questions about his return. Batista is back for the World Title and to headline Wrestlemania, so deal with it. Batista looks decent though not as good as he did back when he was full time (understandable) and got a good reaction so thumbs up on the return. He seems to be a face as well.

Shield vs. Big E. Langston/Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Cody and Goldust will be defending the titles against the New Age Outlaws on the Kickoff show this Sunday. Langston runs over Ambrose to start before it’s off to Goldust who cleans house on Rollins. An atomic drop and kick to the side of the head get two on Rollins and it’s off to Cody for a delayed front suplex. We hit the armbar for a bit before Rollins bails to the floor, only to have Cody hit a nice dive. A standoff takes us to a break.

Back with Rollins holding Cody in a chinlock before handing it back to Rollins who pounds away in the corner. Reigns comes back in and knocks Goldust off the apron but walks into a Disaster Kick to give Cody the breather he’s been needing. The hot tag brings in Langston who suplexes Ambrose in half and clotheslines Reigns to the floor.

Big E. runs Dean over but Rollins breaks up the Big Ending. An overhead belly to belly sends Dean flying and there’s the Warrior Splash for two. The Superman Punch knocks the Disaster Kick out of the air and there’s a spear to Goldust. Langston runs Reigns over but

gets caught by the Blackout from Rollins for the pin at 10:40.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time that most Shield matches need to work and I’m not wild on Langston getting pinned. That’s the problem with having all champions on a team: if they’re going to lose, a champion is going down and that’s not a good thing. Not a bad match here but nothing we haven’t seen before.

We look at Bryan turning on Wyatt last week.

Here’s Bryan to a jobber’s entrance of all things to a BIG YES chant. “And some people say I shouldn’t be the face of this company!” People have been asking if he had a plan when he joined the Wyatts. He isn’t proud of what he had to do to take down Bray Wyatt, including being indoctrinated, keeping some of the people he cares about in the dark, and standing next to three men he despises. Last week he got exactly what he wanted though: to expose Bray Wyatt. On top of that, it’s Bryan vs. Wyatt at the Rumble.

Cue Bryan to the screen to say that where he comes from, being a traitor is an offense punishable by death. The people cheered for him because they chose to kneel before him. Daniel needs to go home and tell his loved ones that he cares for them….and that’s it. Presumably because of what will happen to him on Sunday?

Xavier Woods vs. Fandango

R-Truth is on commentary and keeps referring to Cole as Mike Stone. They slug it out for a few seconds before Fandango hits a quick suplex and the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 1:08. Was there a point to this?

Emma is in the crowd again.

Brad Maddox and Kane are in the back talking about Batista when Stephanie comes in to yell at Kane for attacking Punk. I’m getting REALLY tired of the Authority getting to look like the paragons of virtue all the time and NEVER looking bad at all. It’s the basic “you can’t do that anymore” speech and Kane has to apologize to Punk.

After a break, here’s Kane for the apology. We look at Kane chokeslamming Punk on Smackdown before both guys come out. Kane angrily apologizes, even though he saved Punk from a 5-1 beatdown. Punk makes him apologize twice before jumping him and knocking Kane out to the floor. Brad Maddox comes out and makes Punk vs. Billy Gunn to let Punk get out some of his aggression.

Billy Gunn vs. CM Punk

Road Dogg is on commentary and says the Outlaws turned on Punk for the publicity which has gotten them a Tag Team Title shot. Punk sends Billy to the floor and into the apron but stops to yell at Roadie. Billy gets in a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Punk putting on a sleeper but getting suplexed down and put in a chinlock. Billy slams Punk down and finally takes his shirt off, only to be knocked to the floor again.

Punk loads up a suicide dive but instead goes to the floor to beat up Road Dogg. The knee in the corner looks to set up Punk’s bulldog but a Dogg distraction lets Billy hit a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Punk comes right back and loads up the Macho Elbow but Dogg pulls Gunn to the floor. Not that it matters as the GTS connects for the pin on Billy a few seconds later for the pin at 8:57.

Rating: C. I’m not a big Billy Gunn fan but this worked well enough. There was no way you put either Outlaw over Punk and having them double team him was the only way to make the match even the slightest bit competitive. This was more about advancing the Punk vs. Authority story and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Kane makes Punk #1 in the Rumble.

Lesnar and Heyman arrive.

Time for Rumble By The Numbers. I love this.

208,993lbs in the history of the Rumble, or 4 semi trucks or 492 Big Shows

25 countries that have had entrants

39 Hall of Famers

3 wins for Steve Austin, a record

9 who have won their first Rumble

25 years of age when Brock won, a record

30, which has produced the same number of winners as #1

62% of the winners in the past decade have won the world title at Wrestlemania

Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio

Because this needed a rubber match. Feeling out process to start until Del Rio takes him down and gets two off a kick to the head. Rey comes back with a low dropkick for two of his own and a kick to the chest sends Del Rio outside. An Asai Moonsault connects but Rey might have hurt himself. Back in and Rey hits a baseball slide between Del Rio’s legs, only to have Alberto come back with a stomp to the face to take over. A top rope ax handle sets up the chinlock, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Rey. Mysterio is sent to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Rey into the corner before putting him in the Tree of Woe and going for the mask. Mysterio gets to the floor and walks up the ramp a bit to fix the mask. Rey has his back bent around the post before being sent shoulder first into the buckle. He’s able to avoid a charge, sending Albeto shoulder first into the post. A flying shoulder puts Del Rio down but it hurts Rey’s arm again.

Rey’s seated senton and a kick to the head get two but the 619 is caught. Del Rio gets two off the low superkick as this just keeps going. The cross armbreaker is countered into the 619 followed by the top rope splash but Del Rio grabs the ropes. The armbreaker goes on for the submission from Rey at 14:52.

Rating: C-. The match was fine from a technical standpoint by OH MY GOODNESS I did not care. Above all else, the biggest problem here was there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting. Why are they having this match? Because they had two last week. Why did they have two last week? No reason at all. That’s not interesting television and the fans didn’t care either.

Post match Batista comes out and destroys Del Rio with the spinebuster and Batista Bomb.

Here’s Big Show who does a pretty funny imitation of Heyman hyping up Brock. Lesnar may be a very dangerous man, but Big Show still doesn’t like him. Show calls out Brock for a showdown and gets his wish. Brock comes to the ring but walks to the back instead of getting inside. Show calls Brock out again and gets Lesnar a second time.

Brock actually gets in the ring this time but is thrown to the floor. Lesnar goes on a rampage and destroys the announce table before blasting it with a chair. Heyman tries to distract show so Brock can bring in a chair but Big Show steps on it and takes it away. Lesnar and Heyman slowly leave. Not a bad segment but it’s still Big Show getitng the match with Lesnar on Sunday.

AJ had a party earlier tonight to celebrate being the longest reigning Divas Champion ever. Bad News Barrett showed up and told her no one liked her, sending AJ into a fit. Tamina took some cake to the face.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Tamina runs over Cameron to start before it’s off to AJ for a chinlock. Cameron gets a boot up in the corner and makes a tag to Naomi for some athletic but sloppy offense. Tamina comes right back with a bot to the face and brings in AJ, only to have her walk into a rollup from Naomi for the pin at 2:21.

We recap the opening segment.

Rumble by the Numbers Part 2!

753 entrants who haven’t won

39 eliminations by Shawn Michaels, a record

37 eliminations by Kane, second place

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

455,107 fans that have seen the Royal Rumble over the years

62:12 that Rey Mysterio spent in the 2006 Rumble to set the record

:01 that Santino spent in the Rumble in 2009

We run down the Rumble card.

Video on Martin Luther King.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Harper runs over Jimmy to start before being sent to the floor for a clothesline off the apron from Jey. Rowan comes in to choke away a lot as the Wyatts take over. Back to Harper for more brawling offense before Rowan comes in to keep up the fast tags. Jimmy is shoved off the top rope and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Harper holding Jimmy in a headlock as Bray grabs a mic and talks about the punishment that Daniel Bryan will be experiencing. This is nothing compared to the torment that awaits him at the Rumble. Jimmy finally gets away and makes the hot tag to Jey who cleans house on the monsters. The running Umaga attack has Harper in trouble and Jimmy hits the big plancha to Rowan. Harper comes back with a Michinoku Driver for two on Jimmy as Bray is ticked off. Cue Bryan to jump Bray and kick Rowan in the head. The distraction lets Jimmy roll up Harper for the pin at 12:35.

Rating: C-. The match was decent enough but good freaking night I am sick of these meaningless tag matches. The Usos, the Wyatts and the Real Americans have been trading wins back and forth for months now and none of them have gotten the slightest bit of advancement out of it at all. We’ve seen these same matches time after time and no one gets anywhere off of it. That’s why these tag team renaissances never get off the ground. Well that and the tag champions always wind up being stuck in the main event story where the titles aren’t used.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

Orton starts fast but keeps looking back at the ramp for Cena. Kofi gets in some shots of his own but Randy throws him to the floor and into the barricade to stop the comeback cold. Kingston is knocked down again and Orton does the You Can’t See Me. A backslide and the SOS both get two on Orton and Cena is shown arriving at the arena at 10:59 PM. Kofi grabs Orton’s leg but here’s Cena in the arena, sending Orton running. Randy gets caught between both guys and Cena goes off on him for the DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was just about waiting for the Cena run-in so I won’t even bother commenting on it.

Cena beats Orton into the crowd but Randy escapes an AA attempt. They fight up the steps and into a suite where Orton escapes to the street outside. Orton gets into a waiting car to escape. Cena comes back inside and goes into the arena for posing, replays and high fives to end the show. It was kind of awkward as he just walked down the steps for about three minutes with nothing significant happening.

Overall Rating: C-. I care about the Rumble a bit more so they did their job on that front, but the show was still dull with no matches standing out and a lot of them feeling like time was being killed until we got to the big stuff at the end. Just nothing to see here though there are some seeds planted for post Rumble time which gives me hope for the future.

Results

Shield b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big E. Langston – Blackout to Langston

Fandango b. Xavier Woods – Guillotine legdrop

CM Punk b. Billy Gunn – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysteiro – Cross armbreaker

Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka – Small package to AJ

Usos b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper

Randy Orton b. Kofi Kingston via DQ when John Cena interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

It’s the biggest party of the Summer and one of the best series of wrestling shows ever.  Summerslam started in 1988 and has gone on to give us some of the best matches in WWE history.  It began as little more than a way to bridge the gap from Wrestlemania to the new Survivor Series pay per view but soon took on a life of its own.

Over the years there were such classics as Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in a ladder match, Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect, The Rock vs. HHH in a ladder match, the first ever TLC match, Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels, John Cena vs. CM Punk, Undertaker vs. Edge inside the Cell, Batista vs. John Cena, CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan.  The show was often a launching pad for new stars with Rock and HHH in particular going from midcard sensations to the top of the company.

In this new e-book, I look back at every edition of the show, breaking down each match, segment and show as a whole, providing analysis, history and my thoughts on why everything either worked or didn’t work.

First and foremost, I want to thank my new graphic designer who did an amazing job putting together the new cover for me.  Check out his website and work at philkocher.com

The book is available from Amazon for just $4 and runs 350 pages on a Kindle.

You can pick it up from Amazon here.

If you’re in the UK, you can pick it up here.

If you’re in Canada, you can pick it up here.

Or if you’re in another country with its own Amazon page, just search KB’s History of Summerslam and it should be the only thing that pops up.

Also you can still get any of my previous books on the WWE Championship, Monday Night Raw from 1998 and 2001, Monday Nitro from 1995-96, In Your House and Starrcade at my author’s page here.

If you don’t have a Kindle, there are free apps that you can get to read it on your phone, laptop, iPad, or any other electronic device you have.  These can be found from Amazon here.
I hope you enjoy it and thanks for checking it out.

KB

Smackdown
Date: January 17, 2014
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz

The main story coming off Raw is of course Daniel Bryan turning on the Wyatts to a huge reaction. I thought Bryan was going to leave them eventually though this was faster than I was expecting. Other than that, the road to the Rumble started to pick up on Monday as people names were added to the match to make it give it far more star power than it had before. Tonight we should get a few more names added to the match as the show is in nine days. Let’s get to it.

New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Non-title. Cole recaps the turn on Raw and says he doesn’t get the suprise at the Outlaws’ treachery. For once, he’s absolutely right. Roadie does the intro and the PG issues get a bit muddled. Why can’t Road Dogg swear on the way to the ring but can when he’s introducing Billy? Goldust and Road Dogg get things going with Roadie suckering Goldust in for some shaky punches. Goldust takes him into the corner for some right hands of his own followed by a back elbow to the jaw.

Billy comes in but is backdropped out to the floor, allowing for a tag off to Cody. Why Goldust is exhausted already is beyond me as he was barely touched. He powerslams Roadie down and tags in his brother to a nice pop. Cody cleans house on Gunn but has to deal with Road Dogg as well. A double springboard missile dropkick puts the Outlaws down for two as everything breaks down.

Goldust and Roadie go to the floor as Cody avoids the Fameasser but has Cross Rhodes countered as well. Billy gets two off a tilt-a-whirl slam but still can’t hit the Fameasser. There’s the Disaster Kick….and Vickie Guerrero interrupts. She reminds us that the Royal Rumble is every man for himself, including brother vs. brother. The distraction lets Billy roll up Cody for the pin at 4:43.

Rating: C-. Goldust’s cardiovascular issues aside, this wasn’t bad until the stupid ending. It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the stupid corporate stuff on Impact but now I have to put up with it on Smackdown as well. I’d love to sit down with the creative team and show them some old matches so they can see other ways heels can cheat to win a match. What do I have to do to get a cover with feet on the ropes around here?

CM Punk says he’s going to call out all three members of the Shield. Literally that’s that entire interview.

Here’s Paul Heyman to brag about how amazing Lesnar is, focusing on destroying Mark Henry. After that though, Lesnar was attacked by Big Show who implied he could take Brock out. Heyman admits that Big Show is intimidating but he’ll fall to Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.

Heyman talks about going through wars with Lesnar at his side, meaning he has to fear no evil. Big Show may hurt Zeb Colter, but he won’t won’t hurt Heyman to get to Brock, including on Raw when Lesnar appears live. Big Show comes out and Heyman is in the crowd before Big Show is all the way in the ring. Big Show shows us a clip from Raw where Show threw Lesnar around, followed by Big Show promising to knock Lesnar out.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match Rey talks about Del Rio being afraid of Batista, sending Del Rio into a frenzy to start. He wraps Rey’s arm around the rope but gets sent outside for Rey’s sliding splash under the bottom rope. Back in and Del Rio crotches Rey down to tie him up in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

JBL talks about George Washington for some reason as Rey rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for two. The corner enziguri brings Rey down from the top again but Del Rio can’t pin him. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for two of his own but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm. The armbreaker is countered into the 619 but the top rope splash hits knees. Del Rio loads up the low superkicks but Rey counters into a rollup for the pin at 8:25.

Rating: C+. This took time to get going but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have chemistry together.

Post match Del Rio jumps Mysterio and puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka

Fallout from Tamina hitting AJ with the Rear View on Monday. Emma is in the audience doing her dance again. Miz reads a statement from Maryse congraulating AJ on breaking her record for longest reigning Divas Champion. Naomi jumps Tamina to start but is easily knocked down and backdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Naomi comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a modified bulldog. A Bubba Bomb puts Tamina down but the referee is looking at Cameron and AJ. Tamina uses the distraction to kick Tamina in the head and hit a split legged moonsault for the pin at 2:35.

Video on Mae Young. These are always saddening yet cool at the same time. If there has ever been a woman more willing to do anything to entertain a crowd, I’d love to see her.

Video of Bryan turning on Bray Wyatt Monday to a huge reaction.

Here’s Bray without his hat in person with something to say. I love that you can’t see Harper and Rowan until the lights come on even though they’re right next to Bray. He talks about wanting to be powerful like his father as a child. Bray did his best to appease him and be just like him but it was never good enough. His father was never there for him and never entrusted Bray with his kingdom.

Instead he cast Bray out amidst the sheep, forcing him to walk the earth alone. But then Sister Abigail saved him by singing the sweetest songs Bray had ever heard. Bray became obsessed with her beauty and power, but Abigail told him that Bray would be betrayed again on his path to righteousness.

Monday was the moment that Abigail was talking about, when Bray knew he had to sacrifice himself to be resurrected into the creature he was born to be. You can’t hurt him because he’s already dead and he does not bleed like we do. Daniel Bryan was given a chance to walk with the reapers but now he will be forced to walk with the saints. More creepy stuff here as Bray’s backstory is slowly filled in.

Punk is going to call out the New Age Outlaws in addition to the Shield. If that’s career suicide, consider it a gift to the Authority.

Big E. Langston vs. Fandango

Non-title as well. Langston hits a quick backbreaker to start and Fandango bails to the floor. Back in and the dancer pounds away with right hands but Langston runs him over with a shoulder block. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Big E. to the outside before pulling Langston’s shoulder into the post. Langston is thrown back inside and we hit the armbar for a few moments as the match slows down. Big E. easily powers Fandango to the floor as JBL and Miz argue over who was a bigger star. Fandango is suplexed down, setting up the Warrior Splash, the running Vader Attack and the Big Ending for the win at 4:16.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but Big E. getting clean wins on TV is the right idea for him. Fandango got in some offense here instead of just being the sandwich that Langston had for supper tonight. He’s not going to be a big deal for a long time but it’s better than getting squashed.

Shield thinks it’s the other 27 people in the Rumble that need to be worried instead of the three of them. Ambrose says he wouldn’t throw Rollins out but Rollins says Dean couldn’t do it anyway. Rollins would throw Ambrose out, leading to an argument between the two. Reigns cuts them off and says he’ll throw both of them out and go to Wrestlemania, but they’ll still be a united Shield.

Ultimate Warrior Hall of Fame video.

Video on the WWE Network.

We look back at Kofi shocking Orton on Monday, leading to Orton attacking Cena’s dad. HHH has promised to deal with Orton internally.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Colter is in a wheelchair to sell the attack on Monday. Cesaro and Swagger do the hand over the heart but Zeb rolls down the ramp without them holding him in place. Before the match, Colter, with his voice muffled by the neck brace, says he wants Lesnar to destroy Big Show at the Rumble before asking the fans do say WE THE PEOPLE. Jimmy has bad ribs and Jey has a bad shoulder due to the cage match on Monday.

Swagger throws Jey around to start and the injuries take their tole immediately. Off to Cesaro for some shoulders to the ribs before Swagger comes back in with knees to the midsection as well. Jack launches Cesaro into a splash in the corner and Antonio follows up with rights and lefts to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Jimmy in the Cesaro Swing which still gets a nice reaction, months after it was at its peak. Jimmy fights off the dizziness and kicks the Real Americans in the face and stomach, finally allowing the hot tag to Jey. The running Umaga attack gets two on Jack and a Samoan drop gets the same.

Cesaro is knocked to the floor but Jey gets caught in the Patriot Lock. Jimmy superkicks Swagger for the save before chasing Antonio to the floor. Cesaro hides behind Colter’s wheelchair before missing a charge into the barricade. Jimmy shoves the wheelchair into Cesaro for a big crash as Jey hits an electric chair drop on Swagger. Jey drops the Superfly Splash for the pin at 9:16.

Rating: C. The idea was fine here with the Real Americans working on the injuries but we’ve seen these teams fight so many times now that it’s hard to care anymore. Colter is so good on the mic but he needs someone better than these two losers to get anywhere. Swagger is in such desperate need of repackaging it’s unreal.

Here’s Punk for the big call out to end the show. Punk says he’s out here because he’s not a coward like the Authority. He doesn’t need an army of people to fight his battles for him, but maybe he’s insane. Yeah he might get slaughtered by Shield and the Outlaws so why not also call out the In Laws, the Ultimate Warrior, the Dingo Warrior and the Road Warriors?

The thing is, people listen to him when he talks and that’s real power. Punk talks about HHH abusing his power to satisfy his own agenda while hiding behind his wife. Shield’s music cuts Punk off before he can get too far into that though, which is a nice touch if it was intentional. The Outlaws come out before Shield can get to the ring and Punk is surrounded.

Punk holds up the microphone as his weapon but Kane’s pyro goes off and he orders everyone to stand down. He gets in the ring and says the Authority doesn’t want it this way. Punk’s anger is displaced and his paranoia is getting the better of him. The Authority wants Punk to main event Wrestlemania, which is why they entered him in the Rumble.

In fact, Kane’s new top directive is to treat Punk with the respect that he deserves. Punk looks confused as Kane leaves so he asks if he has Kane’s word. Kane nods but Punk doesn’t buy it because Kane is a seven foot suck up. Kane says get him before catching a distracted Punk in a chokeslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is another show that didn’t need to exist. The wrestling wasn’t bad, the promos weren’t bad and the ending advanced very little, but the show isn’t actively bad. That’s the best way to describe Smackdown as a whole: not much happens, but it’s better than having your face carved up with a branding iron. In a way though that’s the worst kind of show as it’s not bad enough to make fun of but it’s not good enough to be worth seeing either. In a word, Smackdown exists and that’s all there is to say about it.

Results

New Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes

Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Naomi b. Tamina Snuka – Split legged moonsault

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Usos b. Real Americans – Superfly Splash to Swagger

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

It’s a slightly lesser known name today due to a lack of interesting wrestlers’ parents mating nine months earlier. Today it’s Gene Snitsky.

Gene debuted on Raw after a meaningless run in OVW. His first match on Raw was seemingly as a jobber on the September 13, 2004 episode of Monday Night Raw against Kane.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No DQ so Kane can have extra fun. Lita, currently pregnant with Kane’s baby, is with the big bald here. An uppercut takes Gene down to start and kicks him in the side of the head. Kane drops a leg but charges into a boot in the corner to stop the momentum for a bit. Snitsky hits Kane low and fires off some awkward looking right hands (he punches forward so far that his fist winds up by his knees), only to run into a big boot. Kane gets a chair and wraps it around Gene’s neck but Lita stops the Pillmanizing. An argument ensues, allowing Snitsky to blast Kane with the chair, knocking him onto Lita. Kane freaks out and it’s a no contest.

The story of course was that Lita lost her baby, starting a huge feud between Kane and Snitsky. Over the course of the next few months, Kane never could get the better of Snitsky, even after Snitsky punted a baby doll into the crowd in an awesome moment. Gene also started saying “it wasn’t my fault” as a catchphrase. The two feuded for about four months, eventually leading to a steel cage match on the January 31, 2005 episode of Raw.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

The wars between these two have resulted in Kane having a bad arm and Snitsky having bad ribs. Snitsky is rammed face first into the cage and punched a few times to start before a double clothesline puts both guys down. A hard forearm staggers Kane and Snitsky sends him into the buckle and cage for good measure. Gene goes up to escape but here’s Trish Stratus in a neck brace due to a recent attack from Kane. Snitsky is pulled off the cage but Kane can’t make it to the floor.

Back in and Kane lifts him into the air and slams him down but both guys crash to the mat. Kane sends him face first into the cage and hits the top rope clothesline but Trish slams the door on him. There’s no effect though and Kane brings Trish into the cage for a chokeslam, only to have Snitsky make the save with a big boot. Gene gets out of the cage but doesn’t go to the floor. Instead he tears the door off the cage and throws it inside but Kane kicks it back into Snitsky’s face. Kane crotches Snitsky on the door and chokeslams him for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was mainly punching and kicking but it was a good way to close out the feud. Snitsky got a WAY bigger push than he was supposed to get out of this and lasted for months in the midcard as a result. The Trish stuff didn’t need to exist but she looked great in a low cut top so who am I to complain?

Snitsky would fall down the card for several months before getting a brief resurrgence for a feud with Big Show, culminating in a match at Unforgiven 2005.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

One of the dangers of doing these reviews is running into matches like this one with zero backstory at all. I’m really hoping we get an explanation here because I don’t think I’m going to be able to make myself care about it otherwise. Ok so apparently Snitsky jumped Show with the bell but we get cut off by a brawl so we have to stop the flashback. Show throws him around with ease so Snitsky tries to walk.

Show does the SHHH bit and Snitsky is in trouble. Well it worked well the first time so let’s do it again. Show’s charge into the post misses and he clotheslines the steel. We actually go to the flashback while Snitsky has a hold on Show. It’s an armlock so at least he’s thinking. Snitsky manages a belly to back suplex which was pretty impressive. It only gets two but still it looked good.

Snitsky can’t keep him down so he goes back to the arm because that’s worked so well thus far. Ok so that is actually good psychology but it’s a little boring, especially when we know Snitsky has about as much chance as I do of beating Big Show. Show grabs a spinebuster out of nowhere and both guys are down. Show NIPS UP (holding the rope but still) and I think you know what’s coming now. Splash in the corner sets up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was under seven minutes and that’s the best thing that could have happened to it. They just did power stuff and the arm worked helped it a little bit. It’s not a good match or anything but it could have been a lot worse, which is why the keeping it short was a great thing. Snitsky was pretty worthless after his debut feud with Kane though.

Snitsky would plummet down the card after this, appearaing primarily on Sunday Night Heat. He would get one brief return to TV on ECW as a monster heel, including a match with Rob Van Dam on the May 15, 2007 episode of ECW on Sci-Fi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Snitsky

The announcers spend the opening of the match talking about ECW Champion Vince McMahon (just go with it) not being here tonight as Rob kicks at Snitsky’s legs. A big boot takes Van Dam’s head off and a suplex gets two for Gene. Choking ensues until Gene grabs a double underhook to crank on Rob’s arms.

RVD comes back with a kick to the head and a spinwheel kick to the jaw. The top rope kick to the face misses and Rob comes back with another kick to the face. You may be noticing a pattern in Van Dam’s offense. Rolling Thunder misses but Rob ducks a big boot. They head outside so Snitaky can take Rob’s head off with a clothesline. A chair shot to Rob’s head is enough for a DQ.

Rating: D. The match was far longer than it needed to be with Rob spending most of the match either in rest holds or kicking Snitsky in the head. Snitsky looked a lot more evil around this time, having shaved his head and put on some additional muscle mass. Unfortunately it didn’t do much for his in ring work.

Here’s a match from May 11, 2008 on Sunday Night Heat so Snitsky can at least win one match in this thing.

Snitsky vs. Phil Atlas

Even the annoucners are saying this isn’t going to last long. Snitsky throws Atlas around as commentator Josh Matthews says change the channel if you expect Atlas to have a chance. Nice advice there guys. A hard clothesline sets up some elbow drops on Phil before putting on that double underhook hold. Atlas tries a middle rope cross body but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A pumphandle powerslam ends Phil with ease.

Snitsky closed out his WWE tenure in 2008, including a non-title match against World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk on the July 7, 2008 episode of Monday Night Raw.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him into the corner to start and catches a diving Punk in a bearhug. A slam puts Punk down again and an elbow drop gets two. Back to the bearhug for a bit before Snitsky misses a legdrop. Punk comes back with a series of kicks (man do a lot of Snitsky’s opponents use kicks) followed by the corner knee/bulldog combination and the GTS for the pin.

That’s about it for Snitsky who didn’t have much of a career in WWE. He was around for a long time but there just wasn’t anything there after the matches with Kane. At the end of the day, Snitsky was a big guy with a good look but nothing to back it up. He certainly wasn’t bad but there’s no real reason to get behind him at all.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 13, 2014
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re only two weeks out from the Rumble though it feels like there are months to go. The field is still wide open and that’s usually a good sign, but the Rumble doesn’t feel like a big deal right now. Actually nothing does, as everything feels only big but not huge. Obviously that could change, but we’re still a long way off from Wrestlemania which is all that really matters. Let’s get to it.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos

It’s Bryan/Bray for once here and Bryan is extra aggressive tonight. Jey fights him off but Daniel takes him into the corner for the tag off to Wyatt who kicks away in the corner. Back to Bryan who rips at Jey’s face and drops a knee to the chest before it’s off to Bray for some evil sneering. Bray cannonballs down onto Jey’s chest and runs him over in the corner.

Daniel comes in again for the YES Kicks as the fans aren’t pleased with Bryan at all. Daniel puts on a chinlock but Jey fights up and enziguris him down, allowing for the hot tag to Jimmy. The Usos start cleaning house and send the Wyatts to the floor for the stereo dives. Back in and the other Family members run in for the DQ at 5:35.

Rating: C-. This was more about the story than the action and there’s nothing wrong with that. Daniel is still going to get something big out of this, perhaps even winning the Rumble, but tonight was a good way of using him in the stable. It advances the story, which is what you need right now.

Post match the Usos fight off the monsters and escape, leaving Daniel on the mat with Bray pacing back and forth. Daniel gets up and Bray whispers something to him, sending Bryan to his knees with his arms out. Bray gives him Sister Abigail and says that was for all of them. All four Wyatts leave together.

John Cena vs. Damien Sandow

Cena armdrags him down to start and cranks on an armbar as the announcers talk about how bad Sandow’s year ended. A hiptoss puts Sandow down again for two but he pops back up and takes over with some headbutts as we take a break. Back with Sandow working on the arm but missing a knee drop. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the AA is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two.

Sandow’s neckbreaker is countered but Cena can’t get the STF. Damien kicks the knee out and puts on an Edgecator (Sharpshooter to start but Sandow doesn’t step over and pushes the legs forward instead of pulling). Cena is easily out and grabs a half nelson slam, only to spin around into a neckbreaker for two.

John goes up top and shoves Sandow away, only to catch him with a tornado DDT for two. Sandow counters the AA into a sunset flip for two more before spinning a neckbreaker into a DDT for another near fall. You’re Welcome is countered into the STF but Damien is quickly into the ropes. Sandow grabs a Crossface but Cena powers up into the AA for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the MITB match due to the lack of drama but this was a very nice surprise. These two have chemistry in the ring but Sandow’s stock is so low that there’s almost no way to believe he’s going to beat Cena. Still though, much better than I expected it to be.

Video on the WWE Network. That’s going to be awesome.

Kane is looking at some papers when Brad Maddox comes in. Brad makes fun of Kane for letter the show fall apart already but Kane says Brad should be reenforcing the rules. Maddox makes Bryan/Bray vs. Usos in a cage for later. Kane says the door is chained and locked and he’ll have the key.

Big Show vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match we see Big Show throwing Lesnar around last week. Show throws Swagger around to start and headbutts him around the ring. A splash in the corner sets up a shoulder tackle to send Jack flying. The chokeslam ends the squash at 1:20. It’s so nice to have them mix up the jobbers every now and then.

Big Show chases Cesaro off and punches Zeb out because he’s not a nice guy.

New Age Outlaws/CM Punk vs. Shield

Rematch from Smackdown. Billy starts with Ambrose with Dean getting in some shots to the head to take over. Off to Rollins who is in long sleeves tonight and allows the tag to Road Dogg. Seth kicks him in the ribs and brings in Ambrose to rip at Dogg’s face a bit. Punk gets the tag and cleans house on Dean, including driving elbows into the head in the corner. Rollins comes in but has to fight out of a GTS, only to bring in Reigns to a noticeable pop.

Punk and Reigns slug it out with punk getting the better of it, only to be punched in the chest to give Roman control. Reigns is low bridged to the floor, allowing Punk to hit a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Rollins dropping Punk and tagging in Reigns, who heads to the floor for a dropkick to the side of Punk’s head as it hangs over the bottom rope. That’s INSANELY athletic. Ambrose puts on a chinlock and stops Punk’s comeback attempt before bringing Rollins back in.

Seth takes Punk into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Dean stays on those ribs with some stomps and throws Punk to the floor in a heap. Punk reverses a whip into the steps but Reigns throws Ambrose back in to cut off Punk’s chance. A springboarding Rollins can’t take Punk own but Reigns gets between Punk and the corner. CM is all good with that and high kicks Reigns down…..but the Outlaws drop to the floor, leaving Punk 3-1. The numbers game catches Punk about 30 seconds later as Reigns spears him down for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: C. This was again about the story and there’s nothing wrong with that. If I had to guess, that’s the start of Punk vs. HHH at Wrestlemania which is a match about two years overdue. It’s also likely a way to get the Outlaws out of the ring, which is the right idea. They’re a nostalgia act, meaning their shelf life is limited at best.

Punk gets TripleBombed post match.

Bray tells Bryan that they’ve been inside a cage their entire lives but tonight they find absolution. Bryan freaks out and says the same thing.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Before the match, NXT Diva Emma is shown in the crowd and identified by the announcers. That’s a good addition to the division if it happens. Cameron takes Tamina down with a headscissors to start but gets draped over the top rope for two. Off to AJ who gets two off a neckbreaker, skips around a bit, and ends her with the Shining Wizard at 2:52. Total squash and Naomi was never in.

Post match Naomi makes the save and sends AJ running.

Orton is looking for the Authority and finds Kane after the break. He raves about all the people coming after him because he’s the champion but Kane cuts him off. Orton can have Kofi tonight.

We get the first inductee into the Hall of Fame: the Ultimate Warrior.

Paul Heyman goes on a long rant about Big Show having his pituitary gland removed, leading to a massive case of stupidity. That’s the only way you can explain him going after Brock Lesnar. Heyman ensures us that Lesnar isn’t as easy to take out as Jack Swagger and he’ll prove that at the Rumble.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title. Orton is especially ticked off tonight and sends Kofi to the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two for the champ and he clotheslines Kofi down for no cover. Kofi is sent to the floor again but he manages to send Randy into the announce table a few times to get a breather. Back inside and Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle before superplexing Kingston down for two. Orton drops a knee to the face but Kofi comes back with strikes to the head to knock Orton outside. Kofi follows him to the floor and sends Orton face first into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Kofi into the announce table before taking him back inside for a chinlock. Kofi fights up but gets sent to the floor and into the steps for the third time tonight. Make it four as Orton is all insane again. A hard stomp to the side of the head gets two and we hit the chinlock again.

Orton shrugs off a comeback and walks around a lot more. Kofi gets a quick two off a backslide so Orton uppercuts him down for another chinlock. The hold is broken and Kofi avoids a knee drop. A dropkick sets up the Boom Drop but Orton rolls away and loads up the Elevated DDT….but Kofi counters into the SOS for the completely clean pin at 16:51.

Rating: D+. This was mind warping. First and foremost, WAY too long with the chinlocks and walking around. I get the idea of Orton letting Kofi hang in there and getting pinned, but there are far better ways to go about it than that. Then there’s the booking which is crazy enough if you think about it for more than three seconds. Orton is the new world champion, meaning he should not be getting pinned on Raw. It’s stuff like that which crippled the World Heavyweight Title and they don’t need to do it with the one title.

Post match Orton throws a fit and destroys a bunch of stuff before hitting John Cena’s dad in the front row. Security pulls him away and Cena comes out to tend to his Pop.

After the break Cena’s dad is taken out on a stretcher.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title again. Axel hammers away on Goldust to start before the golden one comes back with an uppercut. Off to Ryback as the announcers mention his big Twitter rant over the weekend. Cody comes in with a not great moonsault press for two before it’s back to Goldust who has to deal with Axel making a blind tag. Curtis gets in a clothesline to the back of the head and it’s quickly back to Ryback for a chinlock. The announcers tell some far more entertaining inside jokes about Lawler in the AWA but unfortunately Cole gets back to the match.

Goldust comes back with a bulldog to put Ryback down and the hot tag brings in Cody. House is cleaned very slowly with Cody hitting a kick to the ribs and a missile dropkick to put Curtis down. The Disaster Kick staggers Ryback on the apron but Axel grabs a rollup for two. Axel’s neckbreaker is countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:05.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me for some reason. Ryback’s Twitter rant looks like it’s going to be turned into a storyline which isn’t a bad idea at all. The match however didn’t work, possibly due to Cody and Goldust clearing out the division in just a few months. Not terrible but nothing to see here.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysteriou

Del Rio is still aggressive, driving Rey into the corner and slamming him down for two. Rey comes back with a headscissors but can’t hit the 619. Del Rio bails to the floor and gets caught by a seated senton off the pron. Back in and Rey kicks Alberto in the head for two, only to get caught with a Codebreaker to the arm.

An armbar doesn’t get Del Rio anywhere so he takes Rey down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The arm is wrapped around the ropes again but Del Rio’s chargs hits the post to give Rey a break. Alberto’s Alabama Slam is counterd into a headscissors and the 619 but Rey gets crotched on the top. The running enziguri sets up the armbreker to make Rey tap at 4:55.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t far above a squash. Del Rio’s psychology in the ring continues to be solid but his character is so boring that I just can’t care at all. He’ll still be a good first feud for Batista, even though he’s just a warmup for Big Dave.

Post match Del Rio says that was a preview for Batista.

Same Network video from earlier.

Punk complains to Kane about the Outlaws and enters the Rumble.

We get a very well edited clip of the Usos talking about their match, show “moments ago.”

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Inside a cage with Kane holding the key to the door. It’s a brawl to start with the Usos being sent into the cage and choked a lot. Jey gets backdropped into the steel as the pace slows even more. Daniel tries to throw a charging Jimmy into the cage but Jimmy climbs up for an escape attempt. Bryan and Jimmy fight on top of the cage but Bray goes up as well to pull Jimmy backinside. Jey pulls Bray down to the mat and does the same to Bryan with a Russian legsweep as we take a break.

We’re quickly back with the Wyatts in control again until Jey slams Bray’s head into the cage a few times, setting up a Whisper in the Wind for two. A double belly to back superplex puts Daniel down but Bray is back into it. He blocks a superkick from Jey but takes too long setting up Sister Abigail, allowing Jimmy to superkick Bray for the save. The Wyatts make a double save to keep the Usos from escaping but the twins knock Bray and Daniel down. Jimmy dives on Rowan and Jey climbs down for the win at 11:15 for our second big upset of the night.

Rating: C-. It’s nice to see a new team win the match and we get more development in the Bryan storyline. Kane played no role in the match at all but he doesn’t have a connection to anyone in it at the moment. I’m an Usos fan so I have very few complaints here. Not the best match but still good enough.

Post match Bray smiles and Bryan drops to his knees, but this time he shoves Bray away from hitting Sister Abigail. Bray’s eyes get all freaky as Daniel is listening to the fans. Now Bray is looking nervous and offers to let Bryan have a free shot. Daniel isn’t sure what to do so Bray calls him a coward. Bray charges but misses in the corner and Daniel erupts on him with running dropkicks. There are the YES Kicks as Harper and Rowan can’t get past the locked door. Daniel rips off the coveralls and destroys Bray with everything he’s got. One of the loudest YES chants you’ll ever hear sets up the running knee to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show had an energy that it’s been missing for way too long now. The Rumble is starting to take shape which has been missing until tonight. We have a personal reason for Cena and Orton to be fighting and people started talking about winning the Rumble. That’s all you can ask for about one of the last shows before the Rumble and Batista returning will make for a great go home show. As for Bryan, I told you two weeks ago that he wasn’t going to be a Wyatt long and would come out of this looking fine. Why you people don’t listen to me more often is beyond me.

Results

Usos b. Wyatt Family via DQ when Luke Harper and Erick Rowan interfered

John Cena b. Damien Sandow – Attitude Adjustent

Big Show b. Jack Swagger – Chokeslam

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka b. Funkadactyls – Shining Wizard to Cameron

Kofi Kingston b. Randy Orton – SOS

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Cross Rhodes to Axel

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysterio – Cross armbreaker

Usos b. Wyatt Family – Usos escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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