Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

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Smackdown
Date: August 31, 2007
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with Summerslam and that means it is time to start getting ready for Unforgiven. While a series of vignettes has already said that Undertaker will be back, likely to face Mark Henry, we are also likely getting another Batista vs. Great Khali match for the World Title. It wasn’t pretty the first time, but Khali got himself disqualified to set up a likely rematch. Happy day to us. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Rey Mysterio is back tonight.

Teddy Long is in the ring with the Great Khali and Runjin Singh. Long gets straight to the point: tonight it’s a Championship Competition to crown a new #1 contender. First up, it’s Finlay vs. Kane, with the winner facing the winner of the winner of Rey Mysterio vs. Batista for the Unforgiven title shot. Back in my day we called that a tournament but that doesn’t have alliteration.

Championship Competition First Round: Kane vs. Finlay

Kane doesn’t have his ribs taped this time. Finlay puts the Shillelagh down in the corner so Kane picks it up to change things a bit. The referee makes him drop it, allowing Hornswoggle to pop up and take it away. Kane knocks Finlay down and hits a basement dropkick, which has JBL talking about a pot of neckbone.

They head outside with Kane being sent into the steps to bang up the ribs again. Back in and Finlay hits his own basement dropkick but Kane kicks him away for a breather. Kane goes with a simple strategy of hit Finlay in the face, setting up the side slam. The chokeslam connects but Kane loads up the Tombstone (which he hasn’t used in a long time). Finlay slips out and it’s a Hornswoggle distraction so the Shillelagh can knock Kane cold for the pin.

Rating: C. These two know how to have a hard hitting fight and that ‘s what they did here, albeit with a few shenanigans thrown in. Finlay getting the win is a bit of a surprise, but it isn’t a big enough upset that it is unbelievable. Kane even gets protected thanks to the Shillelagh. They kept to the point here and while it wasn’t as good as the Summerslam match, it was nice to see them do it again.

We look at Deuce N Domino breaking up Matt Hardy and MVP’s game of basketball to help set up this week’s Tag Team Title match.

Jesse and Festus talk about going back to school. Festus did all of the advance learning and learned Latin and advanced trigonometry.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are challenging and have Cherry in their corner. Matt isn’t wasting time and jumps the champs before the bell. That lets MVP grab some early rollups for two each on Domino but Matt tags himself in, much to MVP’s annoyance. The bulldog out of the corner gets two on Domino and a double clothesline takes the champs down. Now it’s MVP tagging himself in, allowing Matt to take his shirt off.

Matt is right back in, as MVP doesn’t seem like he is allowed to do much yet. Domino uses one of the distractions to get in a shot of his own to take over as we take a break. Back with Matt still in trouble in the corner, including Deuce dropping a leg for two. The chinlock goes on and then goes on again after Matt’s comeback is cut off.

Some knees to the face get two on Matt but he fights his way out of the corner for a breather. Domino is sent into Deuce and gets taken down by the Side Effect, allowing the tag off to MVP. Granted it’s in the form of a slap to the face, but Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Domino so MVP can steal the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. They didn’t have many options here as MVP was limited to rollups and covers due to his health issues. There is some good opportunity for some trash talk between the two of them though and the story does have some legs. As for Deuce N Domino, they held the titles for a long time, but there is only so much that can be done when you have no teams to face and have nothing to do most weeks. Maybe Matt and MVP can do better, but there isn’t much of a division to speak of at the moment.

MVP posts with all three titles and Matt is stunned.

Batista comes in to see Vince McMahon, who is rather impressed by Batista’s physique. Vince talks about their various similarities and thinks Batista might be his son. Batista does think there are some similarities, but talks about how he was raised by a single mother who could barely keep food on the table. If Vince was his father and didn’t contribute a dime to anything, violence would ensue. Come to think of it, Vince doesn’t believe they look that much alike.

Teddy Long and Kristal are getting married in three weeks.

Eugene is here with a t-shirt gun but Mark Henry comes out to…well I think you get the idea. Henry says that the Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven (the Undertaker videos saying UNFORGIVEN might have given it away) so here’s another Undertaker video, with Undertaker’s hand popping out of the ground.

Championship Competition First Round: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

They shake hands and hug to start before Batista powers him into the corner. After a clean break, Batista does it again to prove his point. Rey gets smart by trying the speed and spins around Batista, who blasts him with a clothesline. Batista doesn’t seem happy as he sends Rey outside and then runs him over for two back inside.

The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on for a fairly good while until Rey fights up. A dropkick cuts off Batista’s knee but he hits Rey in the face again. That still doesn’t sit well with Batista, allowing Rey to hit a springboard seated senton for two. Batista plants him with the spinebuster but here is Finlay with a chair. That’s cut off and Batista grabs the chair but shoves the referee does for the DQ by mistake.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly a great match but at least they gave Batista a reason not to crush Rey. It was nice to have something other than destruction and it ties into their history together for a change. The setup of Rey vs. Finlay for the title match is interesting, but it doesn’t leave much for Batista to do.

We take a long look at Vince McMahon on Carlito’s Cabana on Raw, resulting in HHH bringing out a bunch of women from Vince’s past. Hilarity did not ensue.

Ashley is going to be on the next season of Survivor.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. Vince talks about HHH bringing out a bunch of “freaks” on Monday, but he only has relations with beautiful women. Vince: “They have all felt my rock hard…..body.” Coach wants to prove that Vince has great taste in women by bringing out some women that Vince has, ahem, known over the years. First up is a woman from New York in 1983, who still remembers the unbridled passion.

Next up is New Year’s Eve 1977, which apparently is the first time he met Howard Finkel. Vince doesn’t like that memory so Coach brings out the three women from the same night. That means some details from Vince, with Coach having to cut him off. They’re all happy to remember ringing in the new year with a bang, with Vince seeming pleased.

Finally, we have Mary Katherine…who is now a nun. This has Vince freaked out but she talks about how that one night in 1981 at the Cape Cod Coliseum made her realize that only God could be better than him. Coach: “She was second to none.” Coach laughs at the pun and Vince wants new memories with them together. The women leave so Vince talks about his family showing up this week. Vince can’t stand the attorneys they’re bringing in, but he wants his son to see what family is really like. I don’t see that going well, but it almost has to be better than this stupid thing.

It’s time for Chuck Palumbo to take the Masterlock Challenge. Masters jumps him instead of putting the hold on but gets cleared out.

Raw Rebound.

Jamie Noble is obsessed with taking out Hornswoggle next week. Shannon Moore wishes him luck by putting an “I Heart Leprechauns” sign on his back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

The winner gets a title shot at Great Khali at Unforgiven. Finlay goes after Rey’s bad back to start but gets low bridged to the floor. That means a Hornswoggle distraction so Finlay can sit on Rey’s back as we take a break. Back with Finlay running Rey over and hitting a slam to keep the target simple. The half crab goes on until Rey fights up and hits an enziguri. The 619 to the back of the head sets up a springboard sunset flip to give Rey the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. This was short and another not great match as they were moving pretty fast. The whole thing couldn’t have been nine minutes, which isn’t that long when you have a commercial in the middle. It doesn’t help that we have seen Rey vs. Khali before and it was pretty terrible all things considered. Maybe they can come up with something better this time, but this could bode badly.

Post match Great Khali comes out and goes after Rey but Batista makes the save. Cole and JBL talk about how this is like David vs. Goliath, meaning Rey is going to need a slingshot and God to survive.

Overall Rating: C-. The show had a point and a focus, but that doesn’t mean it was all that interesting. The one night mini tournament was a good way to go, though it would have been nice to have a match that I actually liked watching. They did what they needed to do here, but they did it in about as boring of a way possible. On the bright side, MVP and Matt Hardy as champions could be good, so at least there is something here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,135
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and the big story is that John Cena defeated Randy Orton to retain the Raw World Title. That isn’t something I would have bet on and the ending so clean was even more of a surprise. Usually that would mean the end of a feud but that isn’t how things tend to work in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We look at John Cena retaining the Raw World Title over Randy Orton in the Summerslam main event.

Here is Orton to get things going. Orton can’t believe that Cena retained the title at Summerslam but now he wants a rematch. The next time will be different because he is demanding another shot against Cena. Cue Cena, who pauses to hug his dad (uh oh) in the front row. Cena talks about how Orton is making excuses but lost last night. Orton wanted to make a statement, but now Cena has a statement of his own: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Last night, Orton lost and Cena thinks there is someone who made his return and deserves a shot. While he can’t make matches, Cena likes the idea of defending against HHH tonight. Cue William Regal to say Cena won’t be facing either HHH or Orton, because he’ll be facing an imperial man: King Booker. Cue Booker, so Orton tries a quick RKO on Cena but gets shoved away. Orton seethes and leaves after we got to the point more quickly than usual.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy taking him into the corner but getting slapped in the face. Hardy claps the fans into things and gets pummeled in the corner for his efforts. Some knees to the ribs and shots to the back of the head put Hardy down again but he fires off right hands in the corner of his own. A clothesline sends Kennedy outside and Hardy hits the big dive as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on a bodyscissors before sending Hardy ribs first into the post. The logic continues with an abdominal stretch before Kennedy drives him back first into the corner. That’s broken up and Hardy hits a quick Whisper in the Wind for a breather. A rollup gets two and there’s the slingshot dropkick in the corner to rock Kennedy again. The Swanton only hits knees though….and here is Umaga to chase Kennedy off and superkick Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was oddly more about punching and kicking than you might expect, which isn’t usually Hardy’s style. They were getting into more of the rhythm that these two might have been expected to have before Umaga came in to kick Hardy’s head off. That should set up the next title feud and Hardy vs. the monster is something that could work very well. I’m not sure what is next for Kennedy, but he could use something else to do.

We see some clips of HHH returning to beat King Booker last night, with JR’s mic being a bit messed up.

Vince McMahon is on his way to the ring for an announcement on Carlito’s Cabana. Mr. Kennedy comes up and Vince compliments him on his match and says watch out for that Umaga. Kennedy wishes Vince a belated birthday and Vince points out that his middle name is Kennedy as well. This seems to leave Kennedy intrigued.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana with Vince McMahon as the special guest. Vince comes out and pleasantries are exchanged, with Vince saying he is now fifty years old (plus twelve more) and ordering everyone here to answer to him. Cue HHH to interrupt, with the fans going rather coconuts. HHH says Vince is now seventy and needs to worry about going senile.

Worry not though, because HHH is here and he has done some extensive research. He has narrowed the mother of Vince’s son down to four women so here they are. First up we have a woman from Wrestlemania III, who a drunken Vince thought was Aretha Franklin. That would be a rather large woman named Mary, with Vince saying she sang like Aretha that night. Then it’s One Eyed Wendy, who lost her sight in one eye due to Vince, ahem, missing. HHH: “Looks like a hole in one.”

Third is….Carlito’s sister! Vince tells Carlito that they thought he was asleep, but HHH wants to know why the sister (who basically looks like a female Carlito) isn’t spitting. Finally there is someone Vince knew as Frankie but now it’s Frank. Hold on though as Frank is out due to having the wrong physical attributes.

Vince throws them all out and HHH talks about Vince being accused of running an illegal cockfighting ring. This leads to Vince listing the animals he loves, capped off by saying he loves co…and he cuts himself off. Vince leaves so Carlito yells at HHH, including spitting the apple in his face. Destruction ensues and HHH has a seat in the chair. The gag wasn’t that great, but HHH being back and being less serious is a good thing.

The Condemned is on DVD.

World’s Greatest Tag Team/Daivari vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Cody Rhodes

London armbars Daivari to start and hands it off to Kendrick. That doesn’t go as well as it’s off to Haas, who gets caught in Haas’ overhead belly to belly suplex. The now blond Shelton Benjamin (that looks stupid) comes in to suplex Kendrick as well but Daivari misses an elbow. That’s enough to bring in Cody for a powerslam but Haas and Benjamin make the save. Everything breaks down and a high crossbody to Daivari gives Cody the fast pin.

Rating: C. Pretty by the book six man match here but what matters is continuing with Cody’s push. He isn’t getting any major wins or setting the world on fire but he is showing up and winning matches, which is how you make someone feel like a bigger deal. The other five guys just happened to be there, but it is better than having the same match over and over.

Post break Daivari is still in the ring but here is Cryme Tyme to interrupt his usual rant. They steal his head scarf (his “Durka Durka” according to JTG) and want $5 but Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch cut him off this time. Instead, JTG steals Cade’s hat and Cryme Tyme runs off. The hat is tossed into the crowd and chants of MONEY MONEY, YEAH YEAH are on.

Randy Orton storms into Vince McMahon’s office and demands a rematch with John Cena. Vince says not so fast, because Orton has to earn it. Orton storm off.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Or not as Beth jumps her during the entrance and the big beatdown is on. Maria can’t go so no match.

Candice Michelle isn’t scared of Beth Phoenix and will face any challenge. She also isn’t scared of Snitsky, who pops up behind her. Snitsky says it is a challenge for him to limit his destruction.

Vince McMahon is ready to find out his son and thinks he’ll learn the identity next week. William Regal comes in with some information but wants Coach gone before he’ll say anything. Vince says say what it is, with Regal saying that Shane, Stephanie and Linda will be here next weeks, with attorneys. Silent glaring ensues.

King Booker vs. John Cena

Non-title and Queen Sharmell is here too. Cena backs him into the corner to start but Booker comes back with some kicks tot he face. The fisherman’s suplex drops Booker back down and the armbar goes on. Booker has to bail to the ropes to get out of the STFU and we take a break.

Back with Cena making a comeback but Booker hits a spinwheel kick to take him down. Cena has to power out of a chinlock and grabs a spinebuster to plant Booker again. The side slam gives Booker two and he puts on a top wristlock. Cena comes up again so it’s a superkick to give Booker two more. Another comeback is loaded up but Randy Orton runs in to take Cena out for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the most drama as it was a match built around waiting on Orton to come in and jump Cena. They didn’t exactly hide what they were going for earlier today and that isn’t a bad thing. I’m not entirely wild on having Cena face Orton against after beating him clean, but it’s not like the two of them have fought forever and ever or anything.

Post match Orton and Booker beat Cena down. Orton gets all serious and rolls outside, where he grabs Cena’s dad. The Punt leaves Cena Sr. laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They had a bit of a weird show here, as it wasn’t so much about the show they were running but rather the shows that they were setting up. Next week will see all of the McMahons here and that should be the sign for a big step forward in the search for Vince’s son. Other than that, we’re on the way to Unforgiven and that should be a sold Summerslam rematch show. Overall, not a great show here, but the bigger stuff seems to have been officially put on standby.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the question remains who can stop Great Khali. Batista gets his chance in two days but things are not exactly looking great for him. Other than that, Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman continue their search for Vince’s son, meaning hijinks are likely to continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show, with Great Khali Clawing/head vicing Batista down again.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. They are continuing their investigation into Vince’s illegitimate son and the search is continuing tonight. Coach wants to look at things scientifically and asks what we know about Vince. We know that he is tall, he is powerful and he likes to make people’s lives h***. No one is like that around here…and here is Kane to interrupt. Kane smiles at Vince, who says there is no way this monster is his son. Coach: “He does appear to have your eye.”

Kane talks about how Vince was not there for him as a kid when Kane started his first fire or killed his first squirrel. That being said, all Kane wants is Finlay, which seems to please Vince. After making sure Kane doesn’t want his money, Vince makes Kane vs. Finlay for Summerslam, which works just fine.

Cue Chris Masters to say he has proof that he is Vince’s son. First of all, Kane is too ugly to be Vince’s son (that’s good for a glare from Kane), plus a photo of Masters meeting Vince when he was fifteen (Vince: “You look ten.). Masters is willing to prove himself with the Masterlock Challenge right now, with Kane agreeing. Kane is a bit too big though and Masters can’t get the hold, so he offers to put Masters in the hold himself. That just earns Masters a chokeslam and Kane leaves. Cue Chuck Palumbo, and since we have a referee and two wrestlers, Vince says ring the bell.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo punches away to start and hits a clothesline to drop Masters again. Masters get sin a cheap shot and a slam, only to walk into an overhead belly to belly. Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo still has Rey Mysterio’s mask, which is on a mannequin head this week. A slam and an uppercut have Funaki in early trouble but he manages a quick shot of his own. Chavo crotches him on top though and we’re back to the stomping. Funaki’s knee is wrapped around the post and Chavo cranks on it so much that the referee calls for the DQ.

Post match Chavo keeps beating Funaki down as WWE desperately tries to get us to believe that Chavo Guerrero is a threat to a returning Rey Mysterio. They’re doing everything right with the actions and violence, but it’s still Chavo Guerrero. Chavo puts the Rey mask on Funaki and crushes his leg with a chair. Fans: “CHAVO SUCKS!’’ Chavo: “REY MYSTERIO SUCKS!!!”

Rey Mysterio video.

Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

For the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title as we continue to protect most of the wrestlers on Summerslam. Yang kicks him down without much trouble and hits an early standing moonsault. Back up and Noble hits him in the face, setting up a waistlock to work on the ribs. That’s countered with a catapult to send Noble into the corner and a top rope hurricanrana gives Yang two. The top rope moonsault press misses though and Noble’s fireman’s carry gutbuster ends the battle of the Jung Dragons.

Post match Noble dives under the ring to find Hornswoggle but finds…no one. As Noble leaves, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring.

We look at Evander Holyfield vs. Matt Hardy in a boxing match at Saturday Night’s Main Event until Holyfield got sick of MVP telling him to hurt Hardy even more.

Teddy Long doesn’t get to see Kristal in her swimsuit before tonight’s contest but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP talks about how great he is and how he could win any title. He could even win the Tag Team Titles with Teddy’s grandmother, or whoever else walks into this office. Cue Matt Hardy and arguing ensues after the announcement of the Tag Team Title match next week.

Vince McMahon and Coach come up to Chuck Palumbo, next to his motorcycle. After explaining that it’s Mr. McMahon, they talk about their love of bikes, but don’t worry because Palumbo knows who his dad is. One day his dad had a bit too much to drink and drove his bike into an 18 wheeler. Coach says they’re so sorry. Palumbo: “Not as sorry as my mom. She was driving the 18 wheeler.” Coach and Vince awkwardly leave.

Deuce N Domino vs. Eugene/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Deuce N Domino have Cherry with them. Eugene works on Deuce’s arm to start and hands it off to Shannon for the same. A Whisper in the Wind is pulled off the top though and it’s Domino getting to stomp away. That doesn’t last long as it’s back to Eugene to clean at least a few rooms. Eugene backdrops Moore onto Domino but Deuce kicks him in the face for the fast pin.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

And now, Matt Hardy and MVP play basketball. It’s first to eleven wins and yes this is non-title. Before the game, MVP brags about how good he is, misses a shot, and then dunks to make it better. MVP: “This is one I picked up when I was hanging out in the ski lodge with Kobe.” Matt finally comes out to interrupt, hits him in the head with the ball and scores, only to have Deuce N Domino come in to beat them both down.

Mark Henry vs. Brad Allen

Allen is sent into the post, powerslammed and bearhugged for the easy win.

Post match, Henry wants to know what is up with the Undertaker symbolism, like THE SAND! Undertaker’s video appears again and this time someone finds a box buried in the sand. There are a bunch of snakes inside, plus the Undertaker’s symbol. Henry is panicked.

Raw Rebound.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce a Summerslam bikini contest between Kristal, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool and Victoria. They all disrobe, Victoria dances badly and…we have a surprise entrant: South Carolina’s own Mae Young! Mae disrobes, has to be held back from disrobing further, and wins.

Jesse and Festus love barbecue, with Festus being great at grilling steak tartar. Cole calls them the Daltons, which I don’t believe has been used since they started these vignettes.

Summerslam rundown.

We see the opening vignette again, as Great Khali is still the big monster.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoves him around to start, which might be due to Finlay not being able to see through the smoke from Batista’s pyro. Finlay gets in a few shots of his own to knock him outside. That means a quick posting and here is Great Khali to watch as we take a break. Back with Finlay holding him in something like a Crossface until Batista Stuns his way to freedom.

Finlay actually hits a dropkick to cut him off again but Batista fights up even faster this time. They head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table, only to get caught with a hanging neckbreaker on the way back in. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Finlay again but Khali comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was the usual power match with Finlay being a good villain to go after Batista. The ending was not that much of a surprise and that’s ok in this case, though having Khali come out made the ending a bit more obvious. I can get why you don’t have Batista or Finlay lose so close to Summerslam, but it wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match Khali chops Batista down but can’t get the vice grip. Instead, Batista spears him down and hammers away until Finlay makes the save. Batista fights back again and pounds on Khali again until referees break it up. Well try to at least as Batista gets away to slug Khali down again. Khali staggers away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know what they were going for with this show but it was one of the weakest shows they have done in a long time. This was a bunch of low level stars having matches that didn’t have many interesting stories. There were a few minor things going on, but this was a totally skippable show, which isn’t a good way to get me to care about what is coming this weekend.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 21, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the one ECW match is set. Granted you might not have known that based on last week’s show, as you might think that we’re coming up on Boogeyman vs. Big Daddy V as the show’s big match. The build has been a bit weird in recent weeks, but that is mainly due to the match being set up so far in advance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, featuring a slower version of Don’t Question My Heart.

Armando Estrada is in the ring with a bunch of weapons around him. He declares himself the Hardcore Dictator and introduces our first match.

Big Daddy V vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Rules and Matt Striker is here with V. Dreamer slugs away to start and tries a slam for reasons of general stupidity. V chairs him in the back and shows Dreamer how to do a slam. There’s a whip into a shopping card in the corner but Dreamer avoids a charge. The table is loaded up but a Striker distraction lets V run Dreamer over again. Back in and Dreamer’s trashcan shots to the head have no effect, as V Samoan drops him through a table for the fast pin. Pretty much the squash it needed to be.

Video on CM Punk.

Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman are here as Vince continues to search for his son. Coach thinks that the son might be the result of an encounter Vince had in a bathroom stall (Vince: “HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT???”) so here is Balls Mahoney. Vince wants this….thing out of his sight. Arguing ensues with the punchline of Vince shouting that he has no balls. Coach: “I know you have grapefruits….” Vince: “SHUT UP!”

Elijah Burke vs. Balls Mahoney

Burke grabs a headlock to start as commentary talks about Mahoney’s interactions with Vince and Kelly Kelly because he’s quite the man about town as of late. Mahoney is back with a shoulder and chop, leaving Tazz thinking Burke needs some sanitizer. They actually go technical with some arm work as Joey talks about Mahoney being barred from amateur wrestling in New Jersey (because that is the only Balls Mahoney story ever). Tazz: “Yeah I’ve heard that one before.”

Some kicks slow Mahoney down and a few uppercuts make it even worse. Burke sends him shoulder first into the post and the leg is wrapped around it too. There’s the handstand elbow in the corner (that always looks cool) and Burke grabs an armbar. The frustration starts setting in so Burke bites the arm, which can’t be very sanitary. More arm pulling sets up a slam before they both miss an elbow. An STO works a bit better for Burke but Mahoney is back up with the right hands. The sitout spinebuster gets two and Burke misses a splash in the corner, allowing Mahoney to get a sloppy rollup for the upset pin.

Rating: C-. This went on longer than it needed to as the pretty surprising mini Mahoney push continues. Burke has long since stopped being a thing around here so this isn’t some soul crushing loss, but you would think there would be a little something better for him to do. The fans like Mahoney though so this isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

Video on John Morrison, including a lot of his weird sayings.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Post break Balls Mahoney runs into Miz and Extreme Expose. Miz mocks Mahoney and leaves with the women, though Kelly Kelly does not seem pleased. Some winking ensues between Kelly and Mahoney.

We look back at Kevin Thorn beating Stevie Richards last week but beating him up after the bell for the reversed decision.

Thorn is in the back when Richards jumps him. Referees break it up.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon and Coach don’t think tonight has been a success, though Coach thinks he might have an idea. CM Punk comes in, and while Vince thinks he is talented, he can’t get behind the straightedge stuff. Punk says he doesn’t have dirty unprotected sex with some skank who files a paternity suit against him, making him a living breathing, national disgrace. Vince is not impressed.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. Miz/John Morrison

This is Miz and Morrison’s first traditional tag match together (at least on TV). Extreme Expose is here with Miz to uneven things up a bit. Punk kicks away at Miz to start and hands it off to Boogeyman, who scares the girls a lot. We take a break and come back with Morrison flipping over Punk and getting kicked in the face for his efforts. Boogeyman comes in to show Punk how to properly gyrate before pulling him out of the corner, making Morrison flip backwards.

Punk adds a kick to the head but Morrison gets in a cheap shot to knock him off the corner. Back in and Miz hammers away with the left hands, setting up Morrison’s neck crank. A backbreaker/neckbreaker combination gets two on Punk and Miz grabs the chinlock. Morrison gets two off a slingshot elbow and he rains down some right hands.

Another neckbreaker gets another two and the second chinlock doesn’t last very long. Morrison loads up a superplex but gets sunset bombed back down, allowing Punk to strike away. Punk hits a big dive to take Morrison down on the floor as Boogeyman is sent into the steps. Back in and a catapult sends Miz into the corner. There’s the GTS to Miz but Morrison makes a blind tag and hits the flipping neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C. I wonder if something happened to Boogeyman there as he just kind of vanished near the end and never even got a tag back in. Morrison getting the pin on Punk is a little surprising but it adds a bit of drama to Sunday’s match. Miz and Morrison do work well together though, which is the kind of thing that can go a long (or really long) way. Not a great match, but it kept Punk vs. Morrison warm for Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. They can’t get to Summerslam fast enough as this show was out of gas by the end. It doesn’t help when one story is worthy of the pay per view and they have already fought three or four times. The show wasn’t bad, but it’s another skippable week. That has been the case more than once as of late and they really need to do something to make it better soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2007
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the main event has been set for a long time now. Randy Orton attacked WWE Champion John Cena at Saturday Night’s Main Event so now we need another match set up. There are a few people with nothing else to do so they need to do something with them this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton is already in the ring and Tazz is replacing Jerry Lawler after King Booker took him out last week. Orton tells us to take a good look, because this is the last time you are going to see him without the WWE Title. Last week it was the start of the beginning of the end, which sends us to Orton RKOing John Cena through an open chair on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was so good that Orton wants to see it in slow motion and from different angles. For some reason he only gets the latter but seems pleased anyway.

That footage is going to replace Hogan slamming Andre and the Montreal Screwjob as the most played clip in WWE history. That move is going to end Cena’s reign, but Orton would understand if Cena couldn’t make it to Summerslam. Rumor has it that he isn’t even here tonight but if Cena is here, he can come forfeit the title right now. Instead, Orton gets Vince McMahon, who doesn’t want to hear about the title match because some woman is out there hiding his illegitimate child.

Today, he found out that the child is male, which means a son of superior genetics. If Vince didn’t know Orton’s dad, he would hope that his son would be someone like him. All his other two kids want his MONEY, which isn’t what Orton would be after. Vince thinks they will find out who his son is here tonight and he hopes the people welcome him. These people are all horrible and want to see Vince taken down, just because some offspring wants his money. Vince hopes his son isn’t like John Cena, who has no dignity…and Cena is in the back.

Cue Cena to the ring, where he says he hopes he isn’t Vince’s son because he would be ashamed for Vince to be his father. With Orton behind the barricade, Cena says Orton has a message of his own because he is here tonight. He’ll be at Summerslam, where he will retain the WWE Title. Vince says Cena might be lying, but if he doesn’t show up, he will be stripped of the championship.

Speaking of stripping, that might bring Vince to Cena’s mother. Vince says he spent a lot of time in new England and he very might have “done your mom”. Cena punches him in the face so Vince and Orton bail together. Hold on though as Vince isn’t going to stand for this. That’s why Cena can face Snitsky, which has Cena looking a bit nervous.. This was a long bunch of talking to set up a main event and reveal that the child is a son.

Rey Mysterio is back on Sunday.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as here is William Regal to say that we will have a Divas battle royal at Summerslam, with the winner facing Candice for the Women’s Title at some point in the future. Mickie and Candice get jumped before the bell and Beth gives Mickie a slingshot suplex. Melina comes in but Mickie slips over and brings in Candice to clean house (and scream a lot). Phoenix’s interference doesn’t work and Candice gets something like Kofi Kingston’s SOS to pin Melina

Post match the mini battle royal breaks out, with Beth being the last woman standing. Tazz: “She’s like a Glamazon!”

Santino Marella, with his arm in a sling, comes in to see William Regal to complain about Ron Simmons and Maria going on a date. Marella complains about Regal’s accent, saying he sounds like a “limp wristed hairdresser.” Regal tells him not to mess with the date so Marella says he’s off to get a cappuccino.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are ready for his official crowning tonight and invite HHH to be their guest.

Vince McMahon and Coach talk about Vince’s possible son, but write off the idea of it being HHH. Val Venis pops up to say HELLO DADDY, with Coach saying it would explain Val’s other career. They keep walking, with Vince blaming Shane McMahon for a lot of his troubles over the years. Daivari comes in to call Vince papa and puts his head covering on Vince’s head. Vince scares it off and they run into Mr. Kennedy but they keep walking this time. He wants it to be someone who has great wealth…and we’ll just cut it off there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled to the mat without much effort. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Cody in more trouble but he fights up with some dropkicks. A bulldog gives Cody two and the snap jabs follow. Benjamin hits another backbreaker but the Boston crab is countered into a rollup to give Cody the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Cody stringing some wins together is a way to get him established with the crowd. That’s about all you can hope for with someone as generic as Rhodes still is. While that might work well for him, it is still a bit rough to see this happen to Shelton. He really did seem ready to be one of the next big things and here he is instead.

Post match Haas and Benjamin beat Cody down and leave him laying.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. Cade drives Kendrick into the corner to start and grabs a headlock. That doesn’t work very well as Kendrick is back up with a dropkick. It’s off to London for an armdrag, followed by another armdrag to Murdoch. An armbar doesn’t last long so Cade comes back in as everything breaks down. Cade and Murdoch are sent outside for the stereo dives, with Kendrick slamming head first onto the floor for a scary crash. Thankfully he seems to be ok, so here is Cryme Tyme to sell Murdoch’s hat to the crowd. The distraction lets Kendrick grab a crucifix for the pin as the hat sells for two dollars.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together as you have some talented people who know how to work well together. Losing to London and Kendrick is hardly some shocking upset and it furthers Cryme Tyme’s claim to a title shot. They’re turning this into a little something, with Cryme Tyme’s charisma certainly taking it a long way. Nice match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We now go to Ron Simmons and Maria on a date at a sports bar and grill. Simmons will have CLAM chowder with his LAMB, along with some bread and JAM. Cue Santino Marella with Jillian (or Lilian, according to him) Hall and of course they’ll join them. Oh and Simmons gets a vegetable, so he’ll have YAMS.

It’s time for King Booker’s coronation, with Queen Sharmell handling the introductions. Last week, Jerry Lawler was supposed to crown him but that did not happen. Instead, Lawler announced his opponent for the Summerslam Games, Hunter Hearst Helmsley (He used his real name!). We see Lawler getting beaten down last week before Booker calls the city by the wrong name. Booker orders HHH out here right now….and it’s a guy in a bad HHH costume, complete with the fake nose (he looks like Jason Sensation as Owen Hart).

Fake HHH crowns him but Booker wants to talk to James Ross. This does not concern Tazzwell so he can leave. Booker yells at Ross over what he said last week, while losing a bit of the accent. Ross is in trouble, but he can make up for it by kissing the royal ring. That won’t happen, but Sharmell shoves his face onto it, which is enough for Booker. I was expecting more violence. And more from Fake HHH. This was something with a few ideas but they didn’t go anywhere.

Post break, Ross says it’s Game On for Booker at Summerslam.

We go back to the date, where Jillian Hall is singing Whitney Houston. Maria didn’t realize they had karaoke here, but she just brings that microphone with her. A “fan” comes up to ask for Santino Marella’s autograph on a program, which is unfortunately from the waist up because it doesn’t showcase Santino’s…uh, bulge. The fact that he is reading this from a piece of paper isn’t lost on Maria. Ron Simmons: “SHAM!”

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with Umaga as the guest. Carlito gets right to the point: we’re almost to Summerslam but he doesn’t have a match. He wants the Intercontinental Title shot, but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Carlito: “Not you again.” Kennedy thinks he should get the title shot, because he has beaten Bobby Lashley, which even Umaga hasn’t done. If anyone deserves the title shot at Summerslam, it’s MR. KENNEDY (which takes quite awhile to say). Umaga thinks it takes too long and superkicks Kennedy down before wrecking the set. Cue William Regal to make Carlito vs. Kennedy for the title shot right now.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

We’re joined in progress with Carlito taking him down by the arm and pounding on the shoulder. Kennedy gets sent outside but comes back in to take Carlito down instead. The chase on the floor doesn’t go very far and it’s Carlito hammering away back inside. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kennedy’s back but he pops up with a backdrop.

Carlito’s clothesline doesn’t even get a count because Kennedy’s shoulders aren’t down but a suplex does get one. Kennedy misses a middle rope elbow so they trade rollups with trunks for two each. Back up and Carlito kicks/hits/springboard elbows him in the face, only to miss a charge into the post. They head back outside, with Kennedy hitting a running kick to the ribs against the steps as we take a break.

We come back with Carlito being sent into the corner, setting up some boot scrapes. That doesn’t go well for Carlito, who is back up with a posting of his own. Carlito’s dropkick gets two but Kennedy catches him on top. The super Regal Roll is broken up so Carlito hits a superplex, setting up the always stupid “let’s randomly throw our legs together” for a small package and the double pin.

Rating: C-. This was long and I don’t know how dramatic the ending was. It wouldn’t have made sense to have either of them go over the other so this was about as good as it could have been. The ending didn’t help either, as it’s one of those ending that can only make sense when they are working together and that isn’t a great visual.

Post match, William Regal makes the triple threat title match. That was so fast it was almost anticlimactic.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Back at the bar, Santino Marella threatens Ron Simmons, who calls the referee over (SAM!). As luck would have it, the waiter’s tray of food winds up on Santino, giving us Simmons’ main catchphrase. Kind of a lame ending, but Simmons has been great.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon is in the back with Melina, who apparently looks rather fetching in Divas Magazine. Snitsky comes in to say he never knew his parents, but he knows how to inflict pain. He promises to cause Cena pain and calls Vince dad.

We look back at John Cena slapping McMahon earlier.

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Cena gets powered into the corner to start but avoids a charge. A bulldog just seems to avoid Snitsky, who kicks Cena in the head to take over again. Snitsky clotheslines him hard to the floor and there’s an elbow to cut off the comeback attempt. A double underhook crank works on both of Cena’s arms but Cena powers out. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the FU but here is Randy Orton with the RKO for the DQ.

Rating: C. It’s another match designed to be nothing more than a way to set up the finish, but Snitsky continues to look like a monster. One thing I did like here was the ending didn’t have Snitsky completely done, leaving him just enough of an out. I can’t imagine Snitsky can reach anything higher than a monster to be slayed, but at least he did well in a short match here.

Post match, Orton hits another RKO and stares at the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re in a weird place with the Summerslam build as Cena vs. Orton is set, but the second biggest Raw match involves someone who hasn’t been around for seven months. That has left the logical but only so good Booker vs. Lawler feud, with Lawler not being around this week either. The Vince drama is enough to fill in the gap, but the red half of Summerslam is feeling very single note after this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2007
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 7,242
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week removed from Vince McMahon being blown up and that means it is time to ramp up the investigation. At the same time, it is time for the first Raw with the new roster following both the Draft and the Supplemental Draft. At the same time too, it’s the go home show for Vengeance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the explosion, now with statements from eyewitnesses and the lead investigator. Said investigator says we’re looking into it.

Here is Mick Foley to get things going, saying if he had known what would happen to Vince, he might have been nicer to him last week. Sure Vince told him he had no skills and looked horrible, but maybe he should apologize. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt to say a simple insincere apology isn’t going to make everything better. Orton thinks Foley had all of the motivation in the world to take Vince out, but here is King Booker to interrupt. Booker thinks Bobby Lashley is quite the suspect, but here is Lashley to shove him out of the ring.

Orton bails too and here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena doesn’t think much of these investigations and says there is more to this than just pointing a finger at someone and saying he did it. How many friends did Vince really have in the first place? Cena lists off all kinds of people, including anyone associated with the XFL, who could be involved. Cue Coach he is in charge of Raw, so tonight it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Orton/Booker. As for Foley, he can face Umaga.

Next week: a three hour special on the investigation into Vince McMahon, featuring stars from all three shows.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas takes London down by the arm to start and Benjamin adds a kick to the ribs to make it worse. Benjamin knocks London into the corner but gets kicked away, allowing the hot tag off to Kendrick. Everything breaks down and Kendrick flips out of Haas’ release German suplex, setting up Sliced Bread for the sudden pin.

Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere but what made a difference was the fact that it was actually something fresh. That was lacking last week on Smackdown as there was no reason to put out the same matches that we have seen for weeks (if not months) on end. Not exactly a great match here, but at least it felt different.

Coach answers some questions about Vince McMahon’s murder.

Here is Carlito for a chat. He misses Mr. McMahon but wants to talk about the Draft. The big winners were Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson, who got to leave Raw last week and get away from him. Cue the Sandman to chase Carlito off.

Cryme Tyme miss Vince because he was a capitalist…so let’s sell a bunch of his stuff! Like his last meal and his trash can! The investigator comes in to ask them some questions.

Daivari vs. Jeff Hardy

Big pop for Hardy and Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are at ringside. Hardy hammers away to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down. The armbar goes on for a bit, with Hardy fighting up to hit a quick Whisper in the Wind. Daivari slams him down and hits a quick running legdrop, only to walk into the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes for Hardy in a hurry.

Rating: C-. This was a good way to give Hardy a quick boost and it’s not like Daivari has any kind of value in the first place. Hardy is someone who always seems ready to break out on his own, which might be the case given that Matt is over on Smackdown. Now just get done with the Cade/Murdoch feud and we could be on to something.

Post match Cade and Murdoch accuse Jeff of disrespecting them so Jeff takes them out with a dive.

Coach doesn’t like being questioned about Vince but needs to meet with someone from Sheik Production. Cue the Iron Sheik, to think he should have his own show here on Raw. Coach walks off so here is Ron Simmons to say his catchphrase.

William Regal introduces himself to Maria but Santino Marella comes in to flatter her in Italian.

Vince’s limo driver doesn’t know anything about what happened last week.

Here’s the same video that opened the show.

Mick Foley vs. Umaga

What a weird culture clash. It’s a brawl on the floor before the bell (duh) until Foley hammers away inside. A running clothesline drops Foley and he gets punched outside. Foley chairs Umaga in the head but the chair is superkicked back into his face. Umaga crushes him against the steps and the referee calls for the medics. The bell never rang so no match.

A white limo backs into the parking lot.

Mick Foley is being checked on by the doctor, who tells the investigator that Foley can’t answer any questions at the moment. The investigator needs to learn timing.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He’s upset about what happened to Vince but he’s here on Raw. Kennedy yells at the fans for the WHAT chants before talking about how he isn’t someone who just talks about what he wants. That’s why he’s in here and they’re out there. From now on, he is dedicating his career to the memory of Mr. McMahon. Thaty’s why he changed his name to Kennedy in OVW.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Mickie is the hometown girl and interrupts Jillian’s rendition of Amazing Grace in tribute to Vince. Candice and Jillian start things off with Candice getting two off an Oklahoma roll. Jillian goes with the hair toss, setting up the handspring elbow in the corner. Melina comes in with the choking on the ropes as the villains start alternating.

It’s back to Jillian for some loud choking as her offense isn’t the most varied. Said non-varied offense is broken up by a kick to Melina, allowing the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned in a hurry and a neckbreaker gets two on Melina. Everything breaks down and Candice takes Jillian outside, leaving Melina to hit her standing legdrop to finish Mickie.

Rating: C-. Candice is getting a lot better in a hurry while Jillian doesn’t exactly seem to have the best offense in the world. What matters here is setting up Melina vs. Candice, which should be a good showdown after so many weeks of setting it up. The title match could work, though it’s going to be a test for both of them.

JR and King talk about the explosion and how much they miss Vince.

We look at the explosion again, this time with shows of the charred limo.

The white limo is still in the parking lot but no one has gotten out.

Randy Orton/King Booker vs. John Cena/Bobby Lashley

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Lashley and Booker get things going with Booker slugging his way out of the corner. That earns him a shove right back into the corner so Lashley can slug away instead. A powerslam gives Lashley two and it’s off to Cena, who runs straight over to Orton for the tag. Everything breaks down and Cena clears the ring as we take a break. Back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and running Orton over.

Orton grabs the leg though, allowing Booker to come in and kick Cena in the head. Booker grabs his own chinlock before handing it back to Orton for his assortment of stomping. We’re on the third chinlock in less than five minutes, meaning Cena has to fight out again. This time that means a double clothesline, allowing the double tag to Lashley and Booker so the pace can pick up. Lashley suplexes Booker down but he’s back up to superkick Cena. Booker walks into Lashley’s spinebuster but Orton is back up with the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event tag match here, albeit with a very high concentration of chinlocks. Orton getting the pin over Lashley keeps him looking strong, as what is likely a Summerslam showdown with Cena continues to loom. Booker will be a fine addition to the roster, though I’m not sure what exactly he is going to be doing at the moment.

We go back to the while limo and Stephanie McMahon gets out.

Snitsky is coming next week.

Stephanie McMahon meets with Coach and says she has to do this on her own.

We run down the Vengeance card.

Here is Stephanie McMahon for a chat. She invites us to a celebration of Vince McMahon’s life next week, featuring all three brands over three hours. Stephanie starts crying and talks about how she has lost the only person she has ever known as her father before dropping the mic and walking out in a hurry to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was quite the slow show, which is understandable but not exactly the most interesting week. The problem is that almost everything is focusing on the big Vince story and that seems to be the plan for next week as well. At least they aren’t wasting time getting to the point, though I’m almost worried about where all of this is going.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2007
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with One Night Stand and on the way to the Draft, followed by Vengeance. That could make for an interesting few weeks, but I don’t think it’s going to make for a great time this week. This very well could be a lame duck show, which is not something WWE tends to do well. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena listens to the mixed reaction and says this is what he loves about WWE. He thanks everyone who came to the show tonight, from the fat guy booing up there to the hot chick in the top two sizes too small (Cena: “THANK YOU FOR COMING TONIGHT!”). Cena thinks it’s a little bit louder this week though because after six weeks of getting beaten up, the 7’5 giant has been told FU.

It’s more of the same around here, because he thinks he’s in the clear and now they’re springing the Draft on him. He has been drafted before so this might be the last time he is in the ring as part of Raw. If that’s the case, then he’s going to take all of this in one more time and say THE CHAMP IS….being cut off by Vince McMahon, who is rather banged up.

Vince can barely stand up or talk but he thinks Cena is out here to embarrass him for no longer being a World Champion. That’s not going to happen because Vince isn’t going to bend, bow or break. His name is Vincent Kennedy….and Cena turns his back on him. Cena says he’s going to tell himself that Vince is just beat up and delusional. Vince tries to say his name again but Cena turns his back again, saying the only thing keeping Vince alive is his patience.

Cena tells Vince to get it out of his system because he is out of his frigging mind. Vince: “YOU’RE A LIAR!” He explains that he hasn’t lost a thing…except for a World Title. That’s what Cena is going to do tonight when he defends the title against Umaga and Great Khali. Cena looks crushed as Vince is nearly beaming. This was a weird segment as Vince went fully nuts almost overnight and Cena got fed up with him in a hurry. It feels like something that should have come after a few weeks, not a day after Vince lost the title.

Candice Michelle/Cryme Tyme vs. Johnny Nitro/Kenny Dykstra/Melina

Michelle is in full Cryme Tyme gear and Lawler isn’t sure what to think about this one. Dykstra is now carrying a mirror but Melina seems to get more use out of it. The women almost get in a fight before the bell but it’s JTG punching Dykstra in the face to start. Nitro gets in a shot so Dykstra can take over, allowing Nitro to flip JTG into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit but JTG fights up and brings in Shad to clean house. Everything breaks down and the G9 finishes Nitro.

Rating: D+. Pretty standard six person tag here, which seemed to be more about getting Candice in a different outfit. I’m glad to see Cryme Tyme getting another chance though as they definitely stand out and their push just stopped a few months ago. The division needs some fresh blood so maybe they can get another shot.

Maria likes the Intercontinental Title, because it’s shiny like her dress. Vince McMahon (still smiling weirdly) comes up and says he used to have one of those titles. Maria starts to say something but gets told to shut up. Santino says you can’t talk to a woman like that so Vince makes a title match right now. He throws in a slap to the face and tells Santino to “get” about ten times.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters

Santino is defending and kicks at the leg to start. Masters grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick though and it’s time to talk about the Draft. A running leg shot to the back of the neck against the ropes vies Masters two and we hit the neck crank. That’s broken up and an STO gives Marella two. The Masterlock is blocked and Santino flips him over, setting up something close to an Oklahoma roll for the pin.

Rating: D+. These two have fought a few times now and I don’t know why there is no one else for Santino to face. The matches aren’t exactly good, but that is partially because every Masters match is about trying the Masterlock and nothing else. Nothing to see here, but at least they kept it short.

The Hardys are banged up when Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch come in to ask for a title shot, albeit when the Hardys are healthy. That’s cool with the Hardys, but Vince McMahon comes up, mocks them for being southern, and makes the title match for tonight. Cade and Murdoch don’t look happy with the news.

Vince keeps walking and runs into Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson. Torrie looks scared, so Vince says he can’t stand a degenerate hanging out with a woman half his age. For some reason, Torrie thinks it’s a good time to bring up the time Linda McMahon caught Vince with Torrie and his pants around his ankles. That earns Torrie a match with Carlito. Torrie leaves and Flair tells Vince to get over a single loss. Vince is sick of hearing the WOOing, but it makes Flair a legend, so he can face the Legend Killer Randy Orton. This was much more deranged crazy Vince and that’s a good thing.

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Flair (in the weird black boots/red trunks combination) strikes away to start and unloads with right hands in the corner. Orton is back with a powerslam and loads up the RKO but we take a break. Back with Flair putting on the Figure Four but Orton makes the rope in a hurry. The backbreaker drops Flair and Orton gets in the circle stomp. Orton drops the knee but it bangs up his knee again so we hit the chinlock to let him rest it a bit. The comeback doesn’t last long as Flair walks into a dropkick.

We hit the chinlock again but this time Flair suplexes his way to freedom. Apparently Orton doesn’t like being suplexed so he punches Flair down in the corner, earning a poke to the eye. Orton hits a running corner clothesline to give us a Flair Flop but Flair is back up with an elbow to the face. A suplex drops Flair on the floor this time and JR quotes Foreigner to talk about how cold Orton is. Back in and Orton hits the Punt but Flair pulls himself up again…so the RKO can finish him off.

Rating: B-. If you want to get a villain over, there are few better choices that having him destroy Flair. Orton is feeling more and more like a predator every time he is in the ring as of late and adding another body to the list is going to make things even better. You can feel the huge match with Cena coming and they’re making Orton feel special on the way there.

Post match Orton loads up another Punk but the referee threatens him away.

Carlito vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie has a bad leg so Carlito offers to let her walk away. Torrie tries and gets caught with the Backstabber for the pin in less than a minute. That’s all it needed to be.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The banged up Hardys are defending and we get a handshake to start. Matt and Cade go to the mat to start for an exchange of arm cranking. Cade elbows him in the face for two and it’s off to Murdoch to stay on the arm. Matt gets over for the tag to Jeff to pick up the pace, including Poetry In Motion with Cade having to make the save. Jeff dives over the top onto Murdoch but bangs up his knee in the process.

We take a break and come back with Cade slamming Matt down and dropping a knee to the back. The sitout spinebuster gives Cade two more and it’s Murdoch grabbing a waistlock. Somehow Matt twists that around and grabs a reverse DDT, allowing the tag off to Jeff, who can barely walk. Jeff cleans house anyway but gets caught going up top. Matt catches Cade with the Twist of Fate but Jeff misses the Swanton, allowing Cade to get the pin. Ignore Murdoch shoving Jeff’s foot off the rope.

Rating: C+. The ending leaves a door open for later if that’s where they want to go, but at least they finally changed the titles. There wasn’t much left for these guys to do and they have an out with the Hardys being injured. Cade and Murdoch getting another run with the belts is not a bad thing either, as the Hardys never felt like anything more than transitional champions.

Post match Matt asks if Cade saw the foot on the ropes….and the Hardys get laid out with belt shots to the face. As they should have.

Coach is in Vince McMahon’s office but Vince isn’t happy. Vince has an ominous feeling, but he also has an idea for next week. Coach seems to already know what that is and Vince tells him to go inform the people.

Post break here is Coach to say that next week will be the Draft, but also Vince McMahon Appreciation Night.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga vs. Great Khali

Cena is defending and charges right into a clothesline from Khali. Umaga heads outside to grab a chair as Khali chokes Cena in the corner and kicks him to the floor. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps but Umaga throws the steps at Khali’s face (DANG) for a knockdown. Back in and Umaga blasts Cena with a clothesline of his own but Cena avoids a sitdown splash.

Umaga knocks him down again and hits a springboard sitdown splash to the chest. Another only lands on raised knees but Umaga is fine enough to plant Cena again. Khali comes back in though and we get the battle of the monsters for quite the visual. I’m not sure what quite, but quite.

They slug it out until Khali hits something resembling a spinning kick to the face and then elbows Cena as he tries to come back in. There’s the legdrop for two on Cena and the big chop follows but Umaga breaks up the double arm chokeslam. Khali loads up the chokeslam on Umaga but gets Samoan Spiked. Cena manages to knock Umaga outside and hit the FU on Khali to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: C. They did what they could here but this was all about having Cena survive against impossible odds. That’s kind of what Cena does every time, though you don’t often see Khali have steps thrown at his face. That alone was good enough to catch your attention and the rest of the match went as well as it could have gone given the circumstances.

Cena poses to end the show, though commentary knows that Vince is going to be angry.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, even with how fast Vince went nuts over losing the title. It seemed like a vanity deal for him and now he’s acting like it meant more than the World Title did to HHH five years ago. The good thing is that tied the show together and what we got worked out fairly well. The show takes awhile to get going but it took off a lot more by the end. Now forget about almost all of that, because it’s time for the Draft.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2007
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Attendance: 7,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and we are on the way towards John Cena vs. Great Khali for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have a new Smackdown World Champion in Edge, who happens to be a Raw wrestler. That could cause some issues, which we will likely touch on this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is WWE Champion John Cena, who doesn’t have his belt. Cena seems rather sad without the title, because Great Khali took it from him last week and Cena couldn’t do anything about it. Now he could make excuses but that isn’t what he does. Cena has been up against giants before but it has never been like this. You can hit Khali in the mouth and he just looks at you with those eyes. There are people who have been telling him that this Sunday is a bad idea and it won’t be much of a match. That may be true, but that isn’t going to stop Cena from giving Khali one heck of a fight…tonight.

Cue Khali on screen, complete with translator Runjin Singh. Khali speaks, with Singh sending us to a video on Khali’s recent path of destruction. Apparently if Cena wants some, he can come get some. That’s fine with Cena, who goes to the back and gets wrecked in a hurry, including the chokebomb onto a golf cart.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Jeff Hardy

Lance Cade and Matt Hardy are here too. Jeff grabs a headlock takeover to star but gets rolled over into a headscissors to take care of that in a hurry. An exchange of armdrags goes to Hardy so Murdoch elbows him in the face. Hardy sends him outside though and scores with a slingshot dive, only to miss the slingshot dropkick back inside. The chinlock just wakes Jeff up though and the Whisper in the Wind gets two. The Swanton hits knees though and Murdoch gets two, complete with the stunned look on his face off the kickout. He’s so stunned that Hardy grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. Hardy can have a good match with just about anyone and it helps when you have someone as talented as Murdoch. I’m rather sick of seeing this feud take place but at least they had what is probably going to be the best combination. It might not have been great match, but it was a completely nice one and that’s good enough.

Post match, Cade and Murdoch offer a handshake, with the Hardys accepting without any violence.

Video on Snitsky.

We look back at Bobby Lashley attacking Coach last week, with Vince McMahon looking on.

Coach is not happy about having to face Bobby Lashley tonight, but Shane McMahon says he shouldn’t worry. Shane, Umaga and Vince McMahon, in a lilac (or some light pink) suit and doorag, will be in his corner. That’s enough for Coach, who goes off to get ready.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters

Marella is defending and is now billed from New Jersey. They start fast with Santino snapping off some hiptosses but Masters powers him into the corner. Some kicks to the leg stagger Masters but he runs Marella over without much trouble. The Masterlock is blocked but the spinebuster connects for two. Masters tries another Masterlock, only to get reversed into a sunset flip (with a nifty reversal that saw Marella spin around the back) to retain Santino’s title.

Post match Masters puts him out with the Masterlock to blow off some steam.

Wrestlers talk about the Condemned.

Candice Michelle vs. Victoria

Melina is on commentary and does the splits entrance on the announcers’ table. Lawler loses it and Candice’s entrance makes it even worse. Candice starts with the hair takedown (Melina: “Oh geez.”) but Victoria sends her face first into the mat. Some hair pulling keeps Candice down but she comes back up with the kicks to the chest. The GoDaddy dance sets up an elbow for two as Melina says all Candice can do is take her clothes off. Victoria’s spinning side slam is countered though and Candice scores with the spinwheel kick for the pin.

Candice wants the title, but Melina thinks she is showing off the fat rolls.

Here is new Smackdown World Champion Edge for a chat. After quite a bit of pyro, Edge talks about how he had the greatest week of any wrestler in history. We see Edge winning the Money in the Bank briefcase, plus the cash in later in the week on Undertaker. Edge was going to have one last great Raw match, but Great Khali has already left.

That leaves him with Batista on Sunday, but Edge has already done what Batista couldn’t do in three months: beat the Undertaker. Edge goes to leave but here is Shawn Michaels to cut him off. Shawn says if Edge wanted to leave with a lasting impression, he could just leave (that’s what he was trying to do man). Edge cuts to the chase and challenges Shawn for later, which seems to be set.

Bobby Lashley starts talking about his title match on Sunday but Shane McMahon cuts him off. Shane reminds Lashley that there can be no contact and does the I’m Not Touching You deal.

Bobby Lashley vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and Umaga are here too. An exchange of shots to the face goes to Lashley and a running clothesline puts Coach down as well. A torture rack goes on as JR thinks this is about the Hardcore Title. The spear finishes Coach in a hurry.

Post match the brawl is on with Lashley falling tot he numbers game in a hurry. The Umaga Attack misses though and Lashley hits a spear but Shane cuts him off again. Lashley chases Shane to the back but the villains leave in the limo. Vince sneaks up from behind and belts Lashley down to leave him laying. That sneaky champ.

Carlito vs. Val Venis

Venis starts fast with his running knees to the ribs but Carlito takes him down and hammers away. The fans want Flair but have to settle for Venis’ forearms not having much effect. A springboard dropkick puts Venis down but he makes another comeback with elbows to the face. Venis’ neckbreaker gets two, only to take too long setting up the Money Shot. Carlito hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a way to give Carlito a win and set him up for the showdown with Ric Flair on Sunday. Not much of a match of course, but Venis was always a fine hand. Granted I had no idea he was still working here and somehow he had almost two years left, but he could still put in a passable match.

Post match Ric Flair runs in and Carlito bails through the crowd.

Shawn Michaels is getting ready for the main event when Randy Orton comes in. Orton wishes him well tonight but Shawn wonders if there is a point to this. Actually there is, as Orton thinks he can beat Shawn, so the match is made for Sunday.

Next week: Timbaland’s new video debuts, featuring a bunch of the Divas.

We look back at Great Khali taking out John Cena earlier tonight.

Judgment Day rundown.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title and commentary suddenly remembers that Shawn has a concussion thanks to Great Khali last week. Shawn grabs a headlock takeover to start but Edge is out in a hurry with a shot to the head. A swinging neckbreaker gives Shawn a breather so Edge kicks him in the face to keep up the target. Edge gets tossed outside though, allowing Shawn to hit a Thesz press off the apron.

We take a break and come back with the referee checking on Shawn, whose head is looking a bit loopy. Another shot to the head sets up a cravate, followed by a big boot to drop Shawn again. More right hands and a neckbreaker get two and Edge grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back. Shawn fights up again and this time manages to crotch Edge on top. Edge hits a headbutt to stagger Shawn but misses a high crossbody. Somehow Shawn gets up top for the elbow and the superkick finishes Edge off.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one as the concussion wasn’t mentioned until the start of the match (not a bad thing as Shawn had gotten beaten up last week so it was covered) and then Shawn just won clean over the new champ. It’s like they had this match booked and then had to do the Money in the Bank deal without making any changes. Good match, but a rather strange way to go at times.

Post match here is Randy Orton to beat Shawn down. A low blow puts Shawn in trouble and we get what I believe is the first ever Punt to knock him cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like the main event, this was a bit off all night, with Cena vs. Khali all set and Shawn vs. Orton being thrown together to give both of them something to do. It feels like they ran out of stuff to do before the pay per view and had to struggle to fill in the time here. Judgment Day feels like a B show and this didn’t exactly shake that feeling, as it was a bit of a lame way to take them home.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 7, 2007
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, Stage College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

John Cena has a new big problem in the form of the Great Khali, who took out Shawn Michaels, Edge, Randy Orton and Cena himself last week. That is going to be quite the issue, and the fact that we are coming up on the Judgment Day pay per view should give you a hint about where this is going. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Coach is in the ring to introduce Vince McMahon. Vince: “WHAT UP G?” While Vince isn’t talking to God like Coach was doing when he said the same thing years ago, Vince brings talks about Great Khali’s dominance last week. We look at Khali’s path of destruction over Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton and Edge, before taking out John Cena face to face. Back in the arena, Vince says that was impressive, because you don’t see someone take out four great ones like that in one night.

Therefore, at Judgment Day, it’s Cena…..well hang on a second as Michaels interrupts. He’s the one who was supposed to face Cena last week and beat him once again, so Khali should have to earn his shot tonight. Vince thought Shawn had more guts than brains and tonight, we might see them all over the ring. Shawn can have his match against Great Khali, and we’ll make that a #1 contenders No DQ match.

With that out of the way, here is Bobby Lashley to interrupt. Lashley says Shawn got what he wanted and now he wants something too. Vince reminds him of the no touch rule and taunts Lashley a bit, but Lashley manages to hold back. We see a clip of Vince winning the title from Lashley at Backlash, albeit with help from Shane McMahon and Umaga. Vince: “You want to call me champ?”

Just to rub it in even more, Vince has a photo of a collector’s edition of WWE Magazine, featuring Undertaker, John Cena and Lashley as champions. It’s a collector’s edition because Lashley isn’t champion anymore, so here’s Vince’s face on Lashley’s body. Vince: “You never heard about the grapefruits did you Lashley?” Anyway, Lashley can have the rematch in another 3-1 handicap match at Judgment Day. Lashley wants to show Vince what he thinks of him, but can’t do it. That makes Vince laugh so he leaves….but Coach doesn’t. Violence and destruction ensues, capped off by a spear as Vince poses with the title.

Mickie James has to tie Candice Michelle’s top. King approves.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Victoria

Rematch from last week where Candice pinned Victoria in an upset. Victoria and Mickie start but she wants Candice instead. That works well for Victoria, who stomps her down but gets armdragged (after a minor slip). Melina comes in and draws Mickie in as well, allowing a quick cheap shot to take over. Candice manages to escape and gets over to Mickie for the tag (to zero reaction in a weird moment). House is cleaned and there’s a neckbreaker to Melina. Everything breaks down and Candice spinwheel kicks Melina for the surprise pin. They’re trying with Candice and she has gotten better in recent weeks.

We look back at Santino Marella winning the Intercontinental Title, albeit with an assist from Bobby Lashley.

WWE visited some terminal children.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters

Marella is defending in his first scheduled match. Masters shoves him down with straight power to start but Marella slugs away with right hands and a dropkick. A hard clothesline drops Marella though and Masters hits a running stomp (that’s different) to keep him down. The neck crank goes on for all of two seconds but Marella is back up with kicks to the leg. A dropkick to the knee gets two and Marella hammers away in the corner. Masters shoves him off but gets sent shoulder first into the post, setting up a rollup to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This was about all you could have expected here and that’s all well and good. What matters here is they went out and did their thing with both guys keeping things simple. You can only do so much with a guy like Marella and Masters isn’t quite the best choice to get a lot out of him. Efficient would be the right word here, and that’s fine enough.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat on the stage. Kennedy talks about how his Wrestlemania countdown continues, as we are only 328 days until Wrestlemania XXIV. That’s when we will have a new champion and his name is Mr. Kennedy (wait for it) Kennedy.

Randy Orton promises to beat John Cena tonight and get his career back on track.

Umaga vs. Highlanders

There is no Armando Alejandro Estrada with Umaga after Bobby Lashley wrecked him on ECW. The dominance doesn’t take long, including the running hip attack to Robbie in the corner. The Samoan Spike crushes both of them to set up the double top rope splash and the easy pin.

The Condemned is still a thing. It isn’t a thing making much money, but it is a thing.

Edge comes up to Mr. Kennedy in the back and doesn’t like him around here. Since Edge is the first person to cash in Money in the Bank, Kennedy shouldn’t be afraid to defend it against him tonight. The match is on, with Kennedy hitting the catchphrase anyway.

Great Khali vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and the winner gets the title shot against John Cena at Judgment Day. Shawn charges at him to start and manages to get Khali tied up in the ropes. That doesn’t last long as Khali gets in a shot of his own to knock Shawn away, setting up a slam. Khali misses a legdrop though and Shawn grabs a chair to blast him in the face. There’s the top rope elbow to keep Khali rocked but Sweet Chin Music is countered with a chop to the head.

Elbows and a clothesline keep Shawn in trouble but he goes for the eyes to escape. Shawn chokes him over the ropes and outside ala Chris Benoit against Big Show at the 2004 Royal Rumble, setting up a baseball slide. Shawn’s DDT through the announcers’ table is shrugged away and it’s the double chokeslam through the table instead. That’s enough for the referee, who calls it off to send Khali to Judgment Day.

Rating: C. Well what else were they supposed to do? There aren’t a ton of options for someone of Shawn’s size against Khali and they did about as well as could be expected. It certainly wasn’t a great match or even a very good one, but they did as well as could have been expected. Throw in the pretty clear ending and this was pretty decent.

Shawn is taken out by the medics.

John Cena isn’t worried about Great Khali because he’ll fight anyone of any size, even if they are 7’5 and over 400lbs and talk like Charlie Brown’s teacher.

Cryme Tyme (hey they’re still here) are having a Mother’s Day sale, including steak (cut to Viscera missing a steak), prescription pills (cut to Eugene missing his pills) and a Hummer (cut to Ron Simmons missing his Hummer and hitting the catchphrase). Cue a guy (clearly Big Dick Johnson) in a Spider-Man costume to say he thinks they’re up to something. Shad pulls out a baseball bat, calls himself Batman, and beats up Spider-Man. Were the writers really bored or something this week?

Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Non-title with Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch on commentary. Matt elbows Benjamin in the head to start and then cuts off a charge with another elbow. Haas offers a distraction though and pulls Matt arm down onto the top. Benjamin takes Matt down by the arm and Haas’ northern lights onto the arm makes it worse.

The arm crank goes on as Cade and Murdoch take turns stealing JR’s catchphrases. Matt finally gets up with a reverse DDT and the hot tag brings in Jeff. House is cleaned in a hurry with Jeff dropping Benjamin onto Haas, who gets caught with the legdrop between the legs. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Haas with Benjamin making the save. That means a Twist of Fate to Benjamin and the Swanton finishes Haas.

Rating: C+. These guys had a nice tag match and that’s not the biggest surprise. You have two rather good teams and they got in a lot of stuff in a short amount of times. Haas and Benjamin might not be the top team around anymore but they can still work well with anyone, and it helps when you’re in there with one of the best teams ever.

Post match, Cade and Murdoch show respect, with the Hardys skeptically accepting the handshake.

We look at Carlito turning on Ric Flair last week.

Video on Snitsky, who seems to have jumped from ECW. I’m sure they’ll survive.

Here are Carlito and Torrie Wilson for a chat. Carlito talks about how Ric Flair embarrassed him in front of Torrie, which Carlito let go because of who was saying it. Flair said they needed to team together so he could grow, but how much more growing does he need to do? Carlito should be WWE Champion by now but Flair was holding him back. He calls out Flair….who commentary says isn’t here tonight. With that not working, Carlito says it’s time to get rid of the garbage in his life and that starts with yelling at Torrie in Spanish. Torrie leaves and Carlito keeps ranting in Spanish until he throws the mic down.

Money in the Bank: Edge vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is defending but Edge jumps him from behind before the bell. Edge sends Kennedy into the barricade and the post, setting up a monitor shot to the face. They get inside with Kennedy saying ring the bell, meaning Edge can spear him down for the pin and the briefcase at 6 seconds.

Post match Edge beats Kennedy down again to leave him laying. Kennedy was put on the shelf with a shoulder injury, which turned out not to be that bad, as he was back in the ring less than two months later. Either way, this was it for his time near the title in WWE and I’ve always wondered what would have happened if he had gotten the chance. Maybe not much, but it could have been very interesting.

We look at Great Khali decimating Shawn Michaels again.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Non-title. Cena rolls him up for a fast two and snaps off a suplex for the same. Orton sends him shoulder first into the post and drops a knee for two of his own. We’re already in the chinlock but Cena fights up and initiates the finishing sequence…but Great Khali is at ringside. Khali picks up the title to distract Cena, making him drop the AA. Instead, Cena pulls Orton into the STF but he goes after Khali instead, charging right into a belt shot from Khali to end the show. So much for a finish.

Rating: C. This was barely a match and that’s fine enough, though they could have done just about the same thing without having a match in the first place. Khali is a different kind of opponent for Cena and they’re making him feel like a major threat. That’s not the hardest thing to do but it is working so far. As for Orton, it still feels like he is being punished for screwing up on the European trip, which is pretty much deserved.

Overall Rating: C. There was a lot here and a good bit of it wasn’t all that great. That being said, this show was more about moving things forward, as you can see a lot of the pay per view card from here, plus the change of the briefcase. I’m curious about where some of these things are going, even if it is for a B pay per view. Not a great show, but an important one and that’s fine.

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