Royal Rumble 2023 Preview

It’s that time of year again as we are beginning the Road To Wrestlemania. That means we are going to be seeing some of the biggest shows of the year and things are about to get a lot more exciting. WWE has done a nice job setting up the Royal Rumble matches this year as there are a lot of open spots remaining, though the men’s match is more or less a two horse race. Let’s get to it.

Bray Wyatt vs. LA Knight

Let’s get the goofy out of the way first. This is the Pitch Black match, which is a product placement match from Mountain Dew. WWE still hasn’t exactly explained what it’s going to be, but knowing Wyatt’s involvement, things are going to get more than a little strange. By strange I mean ridiculous, but it’s a new Wyatt so I’m trying to hold on to false hope for as long as I can.

Of course Wyatt wins here, as there is zero reason to have Knight beat him in his first match. Save or some Uncle Howdy shenanigans, I can’t imagine there being any reason to think that Wyatt is in any danger here, though it is nice to see Knight putting in the work to make the match feel more important. This is Wyatt’s to win and I can’t imagine anything else, so hopefully they keep the goofiness to a minimum.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair(c) vs. Alexa Bliss

As much of a layup as this seems to be, this one has me wondering about where it is going. Belair has nothing left to prove on Monday Night Raw and shifting her over to the Smackdown Women’s Title picture could be a good change of pace. At the same time, if Bliss is doing nothing more than being weird all the time without any actual success, it is going to get old fast.

I’m not certain on it, but I’m taking the title change here, as I think Belair moves over to do something else. Becky Lynch or even Bayley can take the title from Bliss soon enough, but Belair is very, very firmly established as a top star and she needs a new challenge. At the same time, Bliss needs a win to reestablish herself and I’ll go out on a limb and say she gets that win here.

Undisputed WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Kevin Owens

The fact that Reigns is still on the same reign from when he defended against Owens TWO YEARS AGO at this same event tells you a lot about what he is doing. As has been the case with a lot of stuff lately, this is going to be much more about Sami Zayn than anyone in the match. Reigns has basically made this match Zayn’s final Bloodline exam and it begs the question of what is going to happen.

I’ll go with Reigns retaining, but I think we get the big stuff after the match. Once Reigns keeps the title, Zayn does something like refusing to help destroy Owens, turning face in the process. For the life of me, I can’t imagine anything but Zayn challenging Reigns for the title next month in Montreal, which would basically be Zayn’s Wrestlemania. Reigns isn’t losing the title here, but it’s going to be a big turning point in the Bloodline saga.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Let’s get the obvious out of the way right now. You can have your Brock Lesnar, your Bobby Lashley, your Seth Rollins and your Drew McIntyre. This match is 100% Cody Rhodes’ match to win with Sami Zayn being the only other person on the planet as a dark horse. Unless WWE has a monster surprise waiting on us here (and there are 11 spots open as of the end of Smackdown), this one should be pretty much in the bag.

Naturally I’m taking Rhodes, as I can’t picture a reason not to. I’m still not sure if Rhodes is THE guy to do all of this stuff, but if WWE has picked him to do it, then that’s better than slapping something together at the last second. As for a surprise pick, I still think there is a chance Randy Orton is back here, though he would almost have to win if he is back in this kind of spot. It’s going to be the Rhodes Show though, and while I don’t quite like it, I certainly get the idea.

Women’s Royal Rumble

Then we have this one and as sure as I was on the men’s, I’m completely in the dark here. There are several ways you could go for a winner and the fact that we only known twelve entrants makes it all the more confusing. Bayley and Becky Lynch are both possibilities, even if Lynch has yet to be announced for the match. I’d also call Raquel Rodriguez the darkest of dark horses, but if they wanted to pull the trigger on someone (even if they aren’t ready yet), Rodriguez is an option.

That being said, I’ll go with Rhea Ripley, who has yet to have her big moment. Her title reign was completely overshadowed by Charlotte and since then she has grown into a much bigger (and better) star. Ripley fits all of the criteria here and could be primed for a heck of a title match at Wrestlemania, say against a bit of a lame duck champion Becky Lynch. It should be Ripley this year, but I’m far from confident on this one.

Overall Thoughts

Even though the Sword Of McMahon continues to hang over our heads, there is a lot of potential with this show. If nothing else, I love not knowing who is scheduled for the Royal Rumbles and there is a good chance that we could be in for some awesome surprises. Just the fact that I can be excited for this show again is nice, and while it might go away as soon as McMahon changes his mind (again), I’ll take it for one night.

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 26, 2022 (Best Of 2022): Simply The Best

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2022
Hosts: Jackie Redmond, Corey Graves

It’s the final show of the year and for the first time in a long time, we’re having a Best Of special. That should make for a pretty easy night, but there are also several things to pick from this week. WWE probably put about 18 seconds of thought into this, but it’s nice to have a bit of a week off for once. Let’s get to it.

Note that I’ll be including the full versions of the matches/segments rather than the edited versions broadcast here.

The Street Profits are in a white room, with Montez Ford saying he doesn’t think this is Gorilla. Angelo Dawkins uses his psychic powers to turn the walls into a Profits video. They realize they can make anything (PG at least) appear on the screen so we start with a look at various returns. Ford gets a little too excited over the hype videos so we slow things down a bit.

Opening sequence.

Our hosts welcome us to the show and send us to our first match.

From Summerslam.

WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Reigns is defending in a Last Man Standing match…..and Lesnar rides to the ring in a tractor. Lesnar cuts off Paul Heyman’s entrance and does his own, while standing in the….whatever you call the part of a tractor that holds stuff. Lesnar dives out of the tractor to start and Reigns is knocked outside, setting up a big overhead belly to belly. They fight over to the lighting structure and knock each other into it, with Lesnar getting the better of things again.

A German suplex sends Reigns flying again so it’s table time. Heyman begs enough for a distraction, allowing Reigns to Samoan drop Lesnar through the table. Reigns puts him through another table and takes it back inside for a pair of Superman Punches. The spear keeps Lesnar down for a bit but a second attempt is countered into a failed F5 attempt. Reigns gets sent outside in a heap so Lesnar goes to the tractor.

With that going nowhere, he hits Reigns in the head with a piece of the table for about six. Lesnar throws Reigns into the bucket of the tractor, raises him up, and then drops him down into the ring. With that not working, Lesnar rolls some German suplexes and hits an F5 for nine. Another F5 is countered into a guillotine, which Lesnar reverses into one of his own. Reigns is mostly out but dives back to the ropes to break the count at nine.

Lesnar gets back in the tractor….and starts ramming the ring. Then he lifts the ring up to send Reigns sprawling out onto the floor but here are the Usos for the save. Lesnar dispatches them so Heyman tries to call it off, only to get F5’ed through the announcers’ table (they’ve been teasing that for a LONG time). Reigns is back up with a spear and they’re both down…so here is Theory to cash in.

A briefcase shot drops Reigns but Lesnar F5’s Theory onto the briefcase. The Usos are back up with a double superkick for nine, followed by a spear for nine more. Reigns unloads with the briefcase for nine more, followed by a belt shot, but Lesnar gets up again. A shot with the other belt knocks Lesnar down and the Bloodline piles a bunch of stuff onto him before standing on top of it to retain at 22:44.

Rating: B-. This is going to be the really divisive match of the night and that isn’t a surprise. They did a lot of stuff and the match was a total spectacle, but they lost me at the end with Reigns knocking him down for nine over and over. It’s a good example of a match that needed to be trimmed down by a few minutes to hammer the point home better. At the same time, I’m sure the fans on the other side of the ring loved looking up at the video screen, because those front row tickets are pretty worthless when the ring is halfway on its side for the last seven minutes of the match.

The other problem here is simple: who in the world is supposed to be able to stop Reigns? Drew McIntyre is the next big challenger, but is that their solution? McIntyre has already had his time and while you can’t really gauge things from the pandemic, I don’t know how much of a success it was. Reigns has cleared out the company by this point, and they are going to need something special to get the title off of him, whenever they finally do it.

We get a long video tribute to John Cena.

From Raw, June 27.

Here is Vince McMahon to introduce John Cena, who comes through a tunnel of adoring stars. With Vince gone, Cena says this is a milestone, which he rarely likes to celebrate because he is always looking forward. However, tonight he has been looking back at what he has done and he couldn’t do it without these people. Cena has been allowed to do this for two decades and that is because of the fans.

The people have been honest enough to tell him when he sucks and kind enough to tell him when he doesn’t. Cena has been waiting for that right moment and this feels like that right moment. We get a THANK YOU CENA chant and he says his heart is beating out of his chest. Cena thanks the fans for moments like that one and for making him who he is. He has always said WWE prepared him for anything and he doesn’t mean Fast and the Furious or Peacemaker.

WWE has made him a better human being, person and husband. Spending moments with the families he has spent time with today has taught him empathy and kindness. The fans have taught him humility and perseverance and every time he gets in the ring, he gives everything he has because these fans give him everything they have. This isn’t about a last name but about people coming together and he’s 45 years old. He doesn’t know when you’ll see him again, though he isn’t saying it isn’t happening. Fans: “ONE MORE MATCH!” Cena: “It ain’t just gonna be one. Don’t worry about that.”

It isn’t about him but about us. If you like something, tell the people. If you see something that sucks, tell the people. Cena thanks the people and asks Laredo to show what kind of noise they can make. Some catchphrases wrap us up. Cena didn’t say much here, but it felt a lot more real than some of the things he usually says. Good stuff, even if it didn’t mean a great deal.

We take a very fast look at Steve Austin returning to a*action at Wrestlemania and beating up Kevin Owens in the main event of night one. This gets maybe two minutes for the setup and match.

We look at Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville in the Jackass match at Wrestlemania. Not my thing, but dang that crowd reaction was impossible to deny.

Zayn joins us to ask why you would show that. He’s not hurt but disappointed, though it doesn’t matter as we have enough Bloodline stuff to make it work.

We get a sitdown interview with New Day, who praise the NXT tag team division. After talking about the origins of New Day, we hear about the importance of their feud with the Usos. Kofi Kingston talks about how they have a lot of quirks, but they have found their way to what they are now. Over their years though, they have fought the Usos many times as their paths keep crossing.

From Smackdown, November 11.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

The Usos are defending and they’re starting big here. Jey, with his hand taped, starts with Woods and they stare each other down a bit. Woods grabs a headlock as we hear about the histories between the teams. Kofi springboards in with a crossbody for two on Jey but it’s off to Jimmy with a right hand to the face. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a Trust Fall onto both Usos as we take a break.

We come back with Jey hitting a suicide dive to send Kofi into the barricade and then whipping him into it again for a bonus. The fans want Sami, who is apparently missing due to a personal issue. We slow down a bit to Kofi being sent into the corner, setting up a wishbone leg split. A middle rope dropkick gets Kofi out of trouble though and Jey gets kicked away, only to have Jimmy pull Woods off the apron in a classic move. The pop up neckbreaker gives Jey two and we take a break.

Back again with Kofi fighting out of a chinlock and making the hot tag to Woods so house can be cleaned. Kofi hits a splash to set up a good looking Woods top rope legdrop for two. The Boom Drop connects on Jimmy but Jey makes a blind tag. That’s fine with Kofi who hits the SOS for two. Frustration is setting in as it’s off to Woods, who gets superkicked down to set up the double Superfly Splash. The 1D is broken up though and the Midnight Hour hits Jey on the floor.

Back in and a tornado DDT to Jimmy sets up the Midnight Hour for two as Jey makes a VERY last second save for two. The four of them stand up and slug it out with Woods being sent outside and superkicked over the barricade. That leaves Kofi to be sat up top where he goes old school with a double noggin knocker. Kofi tries a diving something, only to land in the 1D to retain the titles at 23:47.

Rating: A-. Yeah these guys are awesome together and this was no exception, as they had a long, pay per view quality tag match. I know it’s been done before and I’ve not been wild on seeing them fight again, but this should have been the final match to give the Usos the record. Unless there is some surprise Tag Team Title match on Monday (and there might be), New Day’s record has fallen and it happened after a great match.

Bianca Belair talks about her life starting from childhood, when she found out she was awesome in track. She started at the University of South Carolina but put too much pressure on herself and developed bulimia.

Belair joins us via satellite to talk about how much she loves Christmas and maybe she should make her own wrapping paper. We move on to how great her year has been, with so much of it leading to her Wrestlemania match with Becky Lynch.

From Wrestlemania.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is defending and gets a special intro (similar to the WWE TV intro as we look at moments from her career)….but Belair one ups her with the Texas Southern University marching band playing her to the ring. They both have special gear, with Lynch coming out in a kind of skirt/jacket combination and Belair in black and red with her top made to look like her lips logo. They both look like they’re on the big stage and it’s an awesome addition.

They both take the time to soak it in a bit but Lynch would rather punch than shake hands. The very early Manhandle Slam gets two and Lynch can’t believe the Summerslam plan didn’t work. Belair goes to the ropes to avoid the Disarm-Her so some covers give Lynch two. They trade rollups for two each and Lynch reverses a suplex into a DDT for two more. Belair tries….something but can’t get Lynch onto her shoulders so she switches to a rollup instead.

They head outside with Lynch slipping off the shoulders to send Belair into the steps to take over. Some Bexploders connect back inside and we hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit. With that broken up, Lynch switches to a cross armbreaker but Belair powers up and dumps her outside for the double crash. Back in and Belair drives some shoulders into the ribs in the corner, setting up a gutbuster for two. The handspring moonsault gets two more but Lynch catches her on top.

Belair gets creative with a Chicago Skyline of all things and a middle rope 450 gets another near fall. Lynch is back up with a Molly Go Round, with her feet hitting Belair in the face (OUCH) for two of her own. Belair is back with a spinebuster and a cradle but the kickout sends her into the corner.

The KOD is broken up but Belair KOD’s her to the floor. That doesn’t work for Belair so she tries to come back inside, only to have Lynch hit the Manhandle Slam onto the steps. Belair dives back in at nine and then kicks out at two, sending Lynch even further into hysteria. Another Bexploder is loaded up but Belair gets to the middle rope, moonsaults over Lynch, and hits the KOD for the pin and the title at 19:09.

Rating: B+. The action was good to great, but what mattered here was the feeling. This felt like the rise of a new champion, with Belair surviving what Lynch threw at her and then winning in the end, showing that she was the better woman when things were even. It came off like the Wrestlemania showdown with the special entrances and gear and I had a great time with the whole deal. Best thing on the show by a mile so far.

Post match Lynch falls out to the floor and collapses as Belair celebrates, giving us a great visual of the fallen former champion and the new queen.

Video on Gunther vs. Sheamus at Clash At The Castle.

Sheamus joins us from his house to talk about how important Christmas is for him. After a tour of his home bar, Sheamus talks about how the Brawling Brutes work well together because they have no egos. We hear about the Good Old Fashioned Donnybrook at Extreme Rules so you know where this is going.

From Extreme Rules.

Imperium vs. Brawling Brutes

This is a Good Old Fashioned Donnybrook, meaning street fight with some props at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with everyone pairing off in and around the ring. Kaiser is tied in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick but the rest of Imperium comes over for the save. Everyone goes for the weapons and Sheamus is sent into various things at ringside.

With Kaiser and Vinci holding Sheamus over a bar, Gunther chops away and hits the big boot before dropping him onto said bar. Back in and it’s Butch and Holland getting beaten up, including the double running dropkick to Butch in the corner. As Imperium poses, Sheamus fights up and it’s time to wreck Gunther’s minions.

Gunther tells Sheamus to bring it and the slugout is on. A release German suplex drops Sheamus but he’s right back up with a clothesline. Holland and Butch are back up to help with the beating until everyone knocks each other down. The teams get up and fight to the floor, with Butch hitting a heck of a moonsault off some barrels.

Gunther is back up and hits the shillelagh shot for two Sheamus. The rest of the Brutes get back in and beat down Gunther, allowing Sheamus to hit a heck of a shillelagh shot to knock Gunther silly. Gunther gets powerbombed through the announcers’ table, leaving Kaiser to get Brogue Kicked for the pin at 17:42.

Rating: A-. The good old fashioned part was right as these guys didn’t bother with anything more than what was advertised. They beat each other up for about eighteen minutes and you could feel a lot of the pain and violence they were showing off here. Sheamus getting the win was the right way to go and he can probably have a final showdown with Gunther. This was what I was looking for from this match and they delivered hard.

Sami Zayn, wearing glasses and reading from the Bloodline Dictionary, talks about the greatness of the Bloodline.

We look at Drew McIntyre getting ready for Clash At The Castle.

McIntyre joins us to talk about how he is on the mend from a minor injury and can’t wait to be back. We hear about his match with Roman Reigns at Clash At The Castle.

Video on Karrion Kross vs. Drew McIntyre.

We look at various returns this year (and there have been a lot of them).

Cody Rhodes (whose return was not shown) talks about how much his return meant and how much he needed that kind of a reaction. We hear about his history with Seth Rollins, including the Cell match with the horrible pectoral injury. He feels he has paid his price and is ready to pick up where he left off. There is one thing that he came back for and he has made that clear (meaning the WWE Title). It’s still weird having Cody sound sane and not going all over the place whenever he talks.

From Hell In A Cell.

Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins

Inside the Cell and Cody has a torn pectoral muscle. Rollins cranks up the evil by coming out in Dusty Rhodes polka dots but Cody’s chest steals the show, because it looks AWFUL, making him seem all the nuttier for being out there. Cody starts firing off the left hands and manages a Disaster Kick, setting up a not so great Cody Cutter. The Figure Four goes on but Rollins manages to reach underneath the ring and grab a tool box. That doesn’t work so it’s a kendo stick to the bad arm to break things up.

Rollins stabs him in the chest with the stick and then knocks Cody into the Cell. Cody manages a whip of his own but can barely follow up. The steps off the shoulder rocks Cody again so Rollins puts on Cody’s jacket. He also grabs the weightlifting belt to beat on Rhodes before setting up the table. The fans chant THANK YOU ROLLINS as he steps on the bad arm in the corner. Cody can’t powerbomb him through the table but he can avoid the frog splash through the table, leaving Rollins down.

With nothing else working, Rhodes pulls out a bullrope with a cowbell so Rollins is confused. Rhodes ties one end around his wrist and Rollins does the same, giving us an impromptu bullrope match. Cody takes him down and hits a superkick, setting up the cowbell to the head for two. Rollins gets in another shot and unhooks the rope, allowing him to set up a table. A one armed Cross Rhodes gives Cody a quick two but the arm gives out on a powerbomb attempt.

Rollins cranks on the arm and toss powerbombs Cody through the table for two. It’s sledgehammer time but Cody kicks it away and hits a Pedigree for two of his own. Cody grabs the hammer but gets caught with the Stomp for two more. Another Stomp is countered into Cross Rhodes from Rollins but Cody pops up and hits one of his own for the double knockdown. They both go for the hammer but Cody switches to back to back Cross Rhodes. Now Rhodes picks up the hammer and hits a running shot for the pin at 24:18.

Rating: B+. That’s on a heck of a sliding scale as Cody was almost literally fighting with one arm. Having him win, especially before he goes off for surgery that might have him missing all the way through the Rumble, is quite the choice. It might be a feel good moment, but Rollins is going to need some time to recover from that kind of a loss. Cody looked like an absolute star and points for an amazing effort, but that arm was about as gruesome as you could get and it was hard to watch at times.

Video on Liv Morgan’s rise to the top of the Smackdown women’s division, including a cameo from Morgan’s mom to talk about what wrestling meant to Liv as a kid.

Morgan joins us to talk about what it meant to her and how happy she has been. She is ready for anything and the best is yet to come.

We get a quick look at Ronda Rousey taking the Smackdown Women’s Title from Morgan at Extreme Rules.

Video on the rise of Judgment Day.

Video on the rise of Austin Theory.

We look at Bobby Lashley’s year, setting up his nearly getting fired, plus Seth Rolling beating him to get the US Title shot next week on Raw.

From Crown Jewel.

Undisputed WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Logan Paul

Reigns, with Paul Heyman (for the sake of clarity, any mentions of “Paul” will mean Logan), is defending and powers Paul into the corner to start. Paul wrestles him down a few times and Reigns actually needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Paul tells him to stop running so Reigns hits an elbow to the face. Some rights and lefts to the ribs set up a hiptoss to Reigns, followed by a running clothesline to the floor. A diving clothesline off the barricade takes Reigns down again and it’s a Buckshot Lariat for two back inside.

Paul’s springboard is knocked out of the air and Heyman is right there with the big rah rah speech. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by the corner clotheslines. The jumping clothesline gives Reigns two and he grabs a one armed camel clutch. Paul fights up and hits a gutwrench suplex for a much needed double knockdown. A Blockbuster gives Paul two and he hits his own Superman Punch (which looked a lot more like a Shawn Michaels flying forearm) into a high crossbody.

The standing moonsault gets two and Heyman is stunned. Sweet Chin Music (complete with Tuning Up The Band) is countered into a release Rock Bottom for two. The Superman Punch is countered with a shot to the ribs and the big right hand, followed by the Superman Punch to give Paul two. They head outside with Logan putting him on the announcers’ table. Paul talks to his friends in the front row, with one of them giving him a camera as Paul goes up top.

The splash through the table (with camera in hand) connects but here are the Usos to beat up Paul’s friends. Cue Logan’s brother Jake (also Paul) to take the Usos out with a right hand each. Logan hits a frog splash for two and here is Solo Sikoa to go after Jake. Logan dives onto the Usos and goes back inside, where Reigns hits the Superman Punch. The spear retains the title at 24:45.

Rating: B+. They went too far with the run-ins and interferences, but this was GREAT for a celebrity match and I was having a very good time. I didn’t think for a second that they were going to change the title, but that isn’t the point of something like this. The match was all about Paul getting to blow people’s minds and it worked well. Very fun stuff here, as Logan absolutely has the talent to be a special attraction around here. This was highly entertaining (Jake Paul easily dispatching the Tag Team Champions aside) and far better than I would have expected.

The hosts wrap it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I never know how to rate something like this so we’ll call this quite good and that’s about it. This show did what it advertised and covered a bunch of stuff throughout 2022 while also hyping up future major events. That was more than enough to make a three hour show interesting and they didn’t leave out anything overly important. We can move on to the important stuff this Friday and next Monday, but it was nice to have a one off, fun show that didn’t mean anything.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – March 3, 2008: Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally Wrestlemania month and we are less than four weeks away from the show. The big story around here is the triple threat match between Raw World Champion Randy Orton and challengers HHH and John Cena. Other than that, we’re going to be seeing Big Show vs. a professional fighter, because wrestlers are…tap dancers or something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, John Cena and HHH are in William Regal’s office and has a great idea: for the next three weeks, one of them will be in charge every week. Tonight it’s Cena, but Orton thinks they should have a pact that says the other two should get the night off every week. Cena has a better idea.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Brandon Hill

This is billed as MMA (win by pin/submission/knockout), as Hill is a boxer and Floyd Mayweather Jr. is watching live from Las Vegas (I’m sure). We get the showdown, with Show towering over the rather small Hill, and in a rare production gaffe, you see the cameramen in the ring (I don’t know if that’s a choice for the match, but it feels WAY out of place in WWE). Hill runs away to start and then panics when Show grabs him by the trunks. Then the chokeslam finishes for Show fast.

Post match Show calls out Mayweather and promises to ruin him at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pops up on screen to yell about how he’ll break Show’s jaw. Oh and he’s coming to the show. Then Show tosses Hill over the top for a nasty landing.

Video on HHH.

Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Flair and Murdoch start things off, with Flair sending him into the corner for some right hands. Shawn comes in for an awkward collision with Murdoch, allowing Cade to grab a belly to back suplex. An atomic drop/big boot combination gets two on Shawn but he gets a boot up to stop a diving Murdoch. It’s back to Flair to strike away, setting up the stereo Figure Fours for the stereo submissions.

Rating: C. Just a quick, nothing match here with Flair and Shawn getting to spend some time together with Wrestlemania on the way. We still have some more weeks for them to be nice to each other before they get personal, which still feels like a bit of a stretch. Cade and Murdoch’s fall continues, as they are now about as worthless as they could be. Because tag teams.

Post match Shawn says he doesn’t want to be the one who ends Flair’s career. He knows Flair is thinking “what makes Shawn think he’s that guy”, but it’s Wrestlemania and he’s Shawn Michaels. At Wrestlemania, Flair’s show is going to be stopped.

John Cena comes in to see William Regal and gets right to the point: tonight it’s Randy Orton vs. HHH, while Cena will face Mr. Kennedy. Oh and since Cena is in charge, Regal can leave the office.

Umaga vs. Super Crazy

William Regal is on commentary as Umaga wins with the Samoan Spike in less than 45 seconds.

Here is Chris Jericho for the return of the Highlight Reel. Jericho talks about how this is the talk show that inspired the others, such as Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky and Cooking With Goldberg. For now though, let’s get our guest out there: Jeff Hardy. Jericho shows us a clip of him beating Hardy last week to qualify for Money In The Bank, even though Hardy is already in there. Of course fans are expecting Hardy to steal the show, but this time Hardy talks about how important it is for him to win here. Then Hardy lays him out with the Twist of Fate.

Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena

Kennedy’s headlock doesn’t do much to start as Cena is right back with a backdrop. We take a break about thirty seconds in (erg) and come back with Kennedy bailing to the floor, meaning the chase is on. Kennedy snaps him throat first across the top rope to take over, setting up a hard ram into the apron. Back in and Kennedy hits a neckbreaker onto the knee for two, followed by the cravate to stay on the neck. Cena powers out and hits the running clotheslines into the top rope Fameasser. The STFU finishes Kennedy off.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time here and that commercial was quite the waste of time. Cena gets some revenge to make up for the night where he was hurt in October so a thread is tied up. I’m not sure how many people were wanting it to be tied up, but getting Cena in the ring on Raw is often a good idea and having him win here without much drama over the winner worked fine.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to emcee the unveiling of Maria’s Playboy cover. Maria and Candice Michelle come out, the cover is unveiled…and Santino Marella has censored it. Cue Santino to complain about Maria being in the magazine, Maria yells at him and Lawler clears him out. The real cover is revealed, Lawler is excited and that’s it. So why did they have the other version ready (a giant banner above the ring) when they were surprised that Santino had messed with the poster size one?

John Cena was at a NASCAR race.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody’s headlock doesn’t go very far to start but he does get two off a backslide. Back up and Carlito sends him into the corner for some shots to the face but the Backstabber misses. A middle rope spinning crossbody gives Cody two and a sunset flip is good for the same. Cody tries a victory roll but Carlito reverses into a backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was quick and to the point, with Carlito qualifying for a match he has no chance of winning. Cody isn’t going to win it either and is way too early in his career to be there either, so maybe just not having these two in a match for a spot would have been better. It’s good to get Cody in the ring, but Carlito means nothing at this point and that isn’t easy to hide.

We get a satellite interview with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who brags about how awesome he is and how he is ready to dominate WWE. He’s ready to break Big Show’s jaw and declares himself the real king, much to Lawler’s….well I’d assume annoyance, but Mayweather promises to turn the company into Money Mayweather Entertainment so we don’t get much of a reaction.

Mae Young is going into the Hall of Fame, meaning we get quite the entertaining video package.

Here is Finlay to confront JBL after Hornswoggle was attacked last week. For now though, here is Vince McMahon to interrupt, with Vince confirming that he is NOT Hornswoggle’s father, but Finlay certainly is. JBL isn’t here, but we do have him via satellite….from Hornswoggle’s hospital room. JBL says it’s fun to prey on the innocent and the challenge to face Finlay is thrown out for Wrestlemania. Then JBL turns out the lights and we hear Hornswoggle screaming. That was an intense scene and JBL is kind of perfect for it, but they rushed through it so fast that it didn’t have quite the impact.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. Orton takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean….stare at each other. HHH does the same thing but punches Orton in the face, which fits him rather well. Some headlock takeovers from HHH are broken up by Orton’s headscissors as Cena talks about everything Orton did to his father.

Orton grabs the backbreaker as the fans are rather behind HHH. The circle stomping ensues until HHH is back up with the facebuster. They fight to the floor with HHH hammering away, setting up the spinebuster back inside. Orton bails to the floor and grabs the title so Cena breaks it up, only to have HHH knock both of them over. Cena comes in and jumps HHH for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here and the match was more about sitting around waiting on Cena to do something to end things. That’s likely what we are going to be seeing for a few weeks to come and that is not the worst idea. The idea is to make fans want to see Wrestlemania and little teases like this could make that be the case.

Post match Cena gives HHH the FU but walks into the RKO so Orton can stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can definitely feel a similar style of build to Wrestlemania on Raw and Smackdown. The main event is the huge focal point with one other big match per show announced. This week saw JBL vs. Finlay all but set up and when you throw in Umaga vs. Batista and Money in the Bank, the core of the show is ready. This week’s show was just ok, but the build to Wrestlemania is what matters most and that is going rather well.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 25, 2008: Friendly Photo Op

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and now we have a new participant in the Raw World Title match. Last week, John Cena defeated Randy Orton in a non-title match to make the title match a triple threat match. Other than that, we’re setting up some Money in the Bank participants so now we get to see who else gets to join. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena beating Randy Orton last week to get into the Wrestlemania title match, only to have HHH lay them both out.

Orton, Cena and HHH are in the ring for what seems to be a photo opportunity, as moderated by William Regal. With the photo taken, each one gets to say something so we can know their thoughts heading into the match. Cena goes first and says he was raised that if you have a problem with someone, you say it to their face.

With that, he gets in HHH’s face and thanks him for not throwing out last week’s match, allowing Cena to go to Wrestlemania. He does have a problem with the Pedigree, but HHH says he wants Cena in the ring at Wrestlemania. HHH thinks a lot of the fans liked the Pedigree and Cena better get used to it, because at Wrestlemania, he’s getting another one. Cena remembers HHH tapping out at Wrestlemania, which is enough for HHH to take off his jacket.

The staredown is on but Orton says one thing is going to remain the same: he is still WWE Champion. The two of them have come after him but he still has the title. You might even say THE CHAMP IS HERE! Orton says the two of them can’t do anything about it, which is enough for the fight to be on. With Orton sent outside, HHH punches Cena down but Orton is back in with the RKO to both of them. Orton poses, leaves, then poses again. Good segment to get everyone in the ring and doing something in less than ten minutes.

Post break Orton is in the back when he runs into Mr. Kennedy. Since Wrestlemania is right around the corner, Kennedy has been thinking about winning Money In The Bank and cashing in that night, so Orton loses no matter what. Orton promises violence if Kennedy tries.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Non-title and Maria is here with Carlito and Santino. Marella and Rhodes start things off with Rhodes slamming him down and dropping a knee. Rhodes gets sent into Carlito on the apron and Santino gets in a takedown. That’s enough for Carlito to come in and stomp away as Lawler is trying to get Maria to come sit next to him. A swinging neckbreaker drops Rhodes for two but he Russian legsweeps his way to freedom. Holly comes in to clean house as Lawler throws his crown at Maria to get her attention. The distraction lets Holly slam Marella off the top and hit the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well at least Lawler’s jabbering turned into a little something with the ending. I’m not sure why they didn’t just make this a title match for the sake of giving the champs a successful defense, especially when it’s Carlito/Marella. The match was short and to the point, which was mainly about Maria, who is higher profile than the four people in the match at the moment.

We recap Big Show agreeing to fight Floyd Mayweather Jr. last week.

We go to the Wrestlemania press conference, with Mayweather vs. Big Show confirmed for the show. Mayweather, standing on something, had a staredown with Show, who promised to explain pain.

William Regal is happy with the controversy and promises more of it when Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton team up to face John Cena and HHH tonight. Chris Jericho comes in to mock Regal’s hair and offer him some tea (in a seven year old call back) before getting to the point: he wants in Money In The Bank. Regal is cool with that, but Jericho has to qualify against Jeff Hardy. Oh and it’s next. Cool with Jericho, but Regal’s shirt and tie aren’t.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Hardy is already qualified but doesn’t seem to lose anything if Jericho wins. Feeling out process to start with Jericho going after the arm so Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom. A high crossbody gives Jericho two and a suplex is good for the same. The enziguri is countered into a catapult over the top but they both dive back in for a standoff as we take a break.

Back with Jericho cranking on both arms and then punching Hardy down for two. They both try crossbodies and crash to give us a double knockdown. It’s Hardy up first to knock Jericho into the corner, where he avoids a bulldog to really take over. The fans are behind Jericho as he breaks up a Whisper In The Wind, which is broken up as well so Hardy’s second attempt works just fine.

Hardy loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls, sending Hardy over to the rope. Jericho gets dropped again but is fine enough to avoid the Swanton. The Lionsault connects for two so Jericho tries the Walls again. With that broken up, Jericho grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. These two having a good match is no surprise whatsoever and they had the time to make it work. I still don’t know why Hardy needed to take a fall here when he was already in the ladder match, but at least Jericho has something to do at Wrestlemania. You know, because he was stuck in the cold otherwise.

Here is Vince McMahon to discuss Hornswoggle’s beating last week. Vince says last week was a mistake, as Hornswoggle was beaten into oblivion by JBL. Therefore, he apologizes to Hornswoggle and wants JBL out here right now. A rather nervous looking JBL comes out and Vince demands an apology for taking it too far last week.

JBL apologizes….for not doing it sooner. See, he has it on good advice that Hornswoggle is NOT Vince’s son, but rather Finlay’s. Hornswoggle didn’t know, but Finlay knew the entire time and JBL has the documentation to prove it. Now JBL is going to make Finlay pay. Well that moved things forward fast, and it’s only a few months too late.

John Cena comes in to see HHH, who says to save the “we don’t like each other but we have to work together”. HHH wants to go out there and win because that is what he does best. Cena feels the same and tells HHH to watch his own back.

Umaga vs. DH Smith

Smith pounds away to start for a grand total of no avail. A splash, the running hip attack and the Samoan Spike finish Smith off in a hurry. Total squash.

We go to William Regal’s office where the Burchills are impressed with Umaga. Regal says he’s perfect, as he has received a challenge from Vickie Guerrero for a Raw vs. Smackdown showdown at Wrestlemania. Katie Lea thinks Paul would be better, but Regal needs to see more first. The Burchills go to leave, but Paul comes back to say Katie might like Regal.

Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels

Trevor Murdoch is here with Cade. They start fast with Cade hitting something like a Side Effect but Michaels gets up before Cade can hit anything else. Shawn misses the top rope elbow but manages to pull Cade into the Crossface. That’s enough for Murdoch to run in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This felt like an excuse to get Shawn in the ring and that is probably leading somewhere with Ric Flair. Other than that, it is kind of sad to see Cade and Murdoch reduced to almost nothing. WWE doesn’t have many tag teams so why have one of them turn into such an unimportant pair?

Post match Shawn cleans house and has a bloody nose. Cue Ric Flair to interrupt (well kind of, as Shawn was just standing there) and Shawn immediately pays respect. Flair can’t believe what an honor it is to be the first active wrestler in the Hall of Fame. The one thing he wants to do to make it even better is to wrestle Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn brings up the “you lose, you’re done” stipulation and he doesn’t want to be the one to end Flair’s career. Flair doesn’t like Shawn’s tone because who says Flair would be losing? All of the respect that Shawn gave him last week means nothing if Shawn doesn’t give him this match. That’s enough for Shawn and he’s in. Well that didn’t take much of a push. They leave together and everything is cool.

Mike Adamle announces the next inductees into the Hall of Fame: High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson. This would be in no way a gift to get the Rock to be happy with the company.

Lawler announces Bunnymania: Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina.

We get a behind the scenes look at Maria’s Playboy shoot.

John Cena/HHH vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Cena and HHH clear the ring to start and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with HHH sending Kennedy into the corner and Cena coming in to do the same. HHH tags himself back in and throws a crotch chop at Cena, allowing Kennedy to get in a cheap shot. Orton comes in and stomps away before dropping a knee for two.

We hit the chinlock to keep HHH in trouble before Orton sends him out to the apron. HHH finally kicks Kennedy down but Orton is right there to block the hot tag to Cena. The RKO is blocked though and HHH calls into the tag off to Cena to clean house. Orton has to break up the FU on Kennedy so HHH takes Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to tap to the STFU.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill main event style tag match but so much of it was during the break that there wasn’t much to be seen. You can only get so much out of a match that only had about eight minutes of TV time and there was no reason for anyone but Kennedy to take the fall. The triple threat match is looking good, but this wasn’t the best way to set it up.

Post match Cena and HHH have a staredown, allowing Kennedy to Mic Check Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well, the wrestling wasn’t great, but they have Wrestlemania in sight and a good portion of the card is either set or all but set. That being said, you can only get so much out of a show with almost nothing in the way of very good action. WWE needs to find a way to do both or the next month could get pretty rough in a hurry. For now though, this was just ok and that’s not the best way to get to Wrestlemania.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2008: Needs More Filler

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 28, 2008: The Hardy Drop

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Royal Rumble has come and gone and that means it is time to start the Road To Wrestlemania. Randy Orton retained the Raw World Title over Jeff Hardy last night, but the big story is the return of John Cena, who is back months ahead of schedule and wont he Royal Rumble. That means Cena is going to be coming for Orton sooner than later so let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Royal Rumble recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena is a bit more serious than usual and says he knows this town is always going to tell him the truth. He is here tonight to answer a question that has been on everyone’s mind: how could this be possible? Back in October he suffered a major injury….and we pause for a CENA SUCKS chant. Cena: “Right now, that’s music to my ears.” Cena was supposed to be out for a year and that meant no Wrestlemania.

Some things have changed around here and in a hospital bed, he made a decision that would change everything. Now he is back for one chance just to maybe get an opportunity to go to Wrestlemania. Maybe it was luck, but he stands before you the winner of the Royal Rumble and he is going to Wrestlemania. Unless of course the people here would like to see Wrestlemania…..tonight. That gets the fans’ attention so Cena throws out the challenge to Randy Orton for the title TONIGHT.

Cue Orton to list off the people he has beaten since winning the title, which is quite the impressive collection. Cena cuts him off and says yes, Orton has beaten them all, in addition to putting him on the shelf. That’s because Orton is smart, and that’s why he is going to take this match tonight. Orton is smart enough to think that there is no way Cena has healed in four months.

Cena says Orton is too smart to let Cena have eight more weeks to heal up and make it easier to whip Orton all over Disneyland (World. Get it right.). Orton isn’t buying it and says he only defends the title if people open their wallets and pay to see it, so no match tonight….but they can do it at No Way Out. Cena is in but says he wants some tonight, so he’ll get some. This was a weird way to go, but Cena being back boosts up any show so there was no other way to start things up.

Ashley Massaro/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix

Mickie and Jillian start things off with Mickie taking her down for a fast two. Beth comes in to mock Mickie for crying over last week’s loss before being sent….mostly into the post. A side slam plants Mickie so Jillian comes back in, only to get rolled up for two. Mickie neckbreakers her for two but gets dropped by Beth, setting up the fisherman’s suplex to give Beth the pin (Jillian was never in).

Post match Mickie is distraught again.

Vince McMahon and William Regal are in the back where Vince makes Cena vs. Orton for No Way Out. They need a Wrestlemania match though, with Regal saying they can have THAT match with the winner facing the winner of Cena vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. Vince: “Not THAT match.” Vince lets Regal go make it.

Here is William Regal to announce that the Elimination Chamber is back at No Way Out. After a video on the match, Regal explains the concept and announces Umaga, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy and HHH for the Chamber.

Mike Adamle announces what is coming tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Carlito

Hardcore Holly, Santino Marella and Maria are here too. Cody armdrags him into an armbar to start before winning a strike off in the corner. Another armdrag into an armbar doesn’t go so well but they roll with it anyway and it’s off to an arm crank to keep Carlito down. Carlito gets sent to the apron for a springboard punch to the face to send him outside. Back in and Cody gets distracted by Santino, allowing Carlito to grab a Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not exactly good stuff here and the ending wasn’t quite inspired. At the same time, it isn’t a great sign that Carlito and Santino Marella seem to be the top challengers to the Tag Team Titles. If Rhodes and Holly as champions wasn’t enough proof, what other evidence do you need?

HHH and Shawn Michaels both want to get back into the title picture at No Way Out, but for tonight they need partners. As luck would have it, they both have their DX gear so it’s reunion time (and WWE Shop plug time).

D-Generation X vs. Snitsky/Umaga

After the usual pre-match chattering, HHH and Snitsky start things off. Hang on though as HHH grabs the mic and asks if anyone has a toothbrush, Tic Tacs, mints or ANYTHING before he has to fight Snitsky. HHH hits an early clothesline and slams his way out of trouble, meaning it’s off to Shawn. Umaga isn’t having that though and kicks Shawn off the top for the big crash. Back in and Snitsky takes us back to the 80s with the bearhug before choking in the corner. Umaga grabs his own bearhug and we take a break.

We come back with Shawn caught in the Tree of Woe and…Snitsky grabbing another bearhug. Shawn gets sent into the corner where he avoids the running Umaga attack. A DDT is enough for the tag off to HHH for the house cleaning but Umaga grabs a Samoa drop. Shawn superkicks Umaga in the back of the head and out to the floor for the dive, setting up the Pedigree to finish Snitsky.

Rating: C. Pretty paint by numbers tag match here with no drama about the result. It was more about whether HHH or Shawn would get the pin over Snitsky, as Umaga still has just enough star power to avoid taking a fall here. HHH and Shawn have much bigger deals to get to in the next few weeks and Umaga needs to be kept strong for the Chamber, leaving Snitsky getting pinned as the only way to go.

JBL comes up to Randy Orton, his partner in the main event, in the back and says they’re partners tonight but he’s taking the title at Wrestlemania. You know, assuming Orton wins at No Way Out. Orton likes the idea because he knows he can beat JBL.

Jeff Hardy is ready to get back to the title scene so he is ready to win the Elimination Chamber and go on to Wrestlemania.

Hornswoggle is in Vince McMahon’s office, where Vince berates him for being a loser.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick charges into the ring to start and gets sent into the corner. The running boot misses but Kennedy is back up with a shoulder first ram into the buckle. Kendrick gets in a kick to the face but misses a charge, setting up the Mic Check to give Kennedy the pin.

Post match Kennedy says he wanted in the Elimination Chamber, but he’ll settle for retiring Ric Flair at No Way Out instead. Cue Flair for some WOOing.

Maria vs. Melina

Santino Marella is here with Maria. Melina takes her down early but Maria is back up with a kick to the ribs. There’s the Bronco Buster in the corner but Maria misses a charge, allowing Melina to forearm her in the back. Maria hits a gutbuster (belly buster according to JR) but misses a charge in the corner. Melina tries a rollup but only pulls Maria’s tights down, allowing Maria to sit down on her for the pin.

Post match Santino runs in and throws his shirt around Maria’s waist and rants about her wanting to be in Playboy.

Chris Jericho is ready to be serious instead of the goofy guy so he can go to Wrestlemania.

Mike Adamle gives us the No Way Out rundown.

Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield

Jericho wastes no time in suplexing Orton down and elbowing him in the face. Double knees to the face drop Orton again and Hardy hits a very early Swanton for two, with JBL pulling Orton out. We take a break and come back with Hardy hitting a running forearm to drop Orton, who pulls him into the corner by the throat.

Orton takes him down again and works on an armbar until Hardy fights up and hits a swinging sleeper drop. It’s back to Jericho to try the Walls but he has to stop and dropkick Orton off the apron. The Lionsault gets two on JBL as everything breaks down. The Walls go on JBL again but Orton makes the save with the RKO to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard main event tag match here with the villains stealing the pin and giving JBL some momentum heading into the Chamber. It isn’t like he has any real chance to win so boosting him up even slightly in a match like this isn’t going to hurt. It makes more sense than Orton getting the pin so at least they thought about this one.

Post match here is John Cena to lay out Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the strongest show coming out of the Royal Rumble and a lot of that is due to the lack of Jeff Hardy energy. That story was carrying the show for a good while and now that Hardy has lost, most of it is gone. Cena being back is the big deal of course, but moving the match to No Way Out in less than three weeks feels rushed to say the least. Pretty disappointing show here and that’s never fun to see.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 21, 2008: Get To It Already

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2008
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we should be in for some final pushes. There is some drama to this one as HHH has to earn his way back into the match by beating someone tonight. That is a problem though as Vince McMahon hasn’t said who HHH is facing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. video, as per his holiday.

We look back at Jeff Hardy jumping off a really high tower onto Randy Orton last week.

Opening sequence.

And hey we’re officially in HD.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy

The fans are WAY behind Shawn, even as Kennedy armdrags him into an armbar to start. Back up and Shawn sweeps the leg and grabs a headlock on the mat. That’s reversed into a battle over a backslide but Kennedy neckbreakers him onto the knee and cranks away. Shawn fights up and hits a swinging neckbreaker for the needed breather, meaning the comeback is on. There’s the forearm into a nip up and Shawn drops the top rope elbow. The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Kennedy outside though, leaving Shawn to dive on him as we take a break.

Back with Shawn being sent hard into the corner and a running boot to the head gives Kennedy two. The Mic Check is blocked but Kennedy rams him into the corner and takes it up top. Shawn knocks him off but another elbow hits raised knees, which thankfully hurts his knee, as it should. Back up and the threat of Sweet Chin Music drops Kennedy, allowing Shawn to try his leglock. Kennedy blocks that too, but Shawn is right back up with Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C+. The idea of Kennedy hiding from Sweet Chin Music for the whole match and then managing to escape the other finisher, only to get superkicked was a good way to go. It’s a different way to go and they made it work well here. This needs to be the end of the story though as there isn’t much else left for them to do.

Randy Orton is annoyed at Vince McMahon for wanting him to shake Jeff Hardy’s handshake. Vince tells him to get over it before saying it could give Orton a competitive advantage at the Royal Rumble. That has Orton thinking.

Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

Non-title. Mickie loses a test of strength to start and has to counter a powerbomb. A Thesz press works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers out of the hurricanrana from the corner. A rollup gives Mickie two and she grabs something like a choke to slow Beth down. Back up and Beth knocks her to the floor for a crash, followed by a chinlock to keep Mickie in trouble. That’s broken up as well and Mickie hurricanranas her out of the corner. Beth powers up though and drops her on the top rope before pulling it into the fisherman’s buster for the pin.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much but the bigger problem is that Mickie is one of the few women who could give Beth a real run for her money. The division isn’t exactly deep with talent at this point and if Mickie isn’t going to take the title, they are going to have to build someone else up in a hurry. I’m just not sure who that is going to be.

HHH makes fun of Vince McMahon’s age before saying he doesn’t care who he is facing tonight because he is going to the Royal Rumble. That is a guaran-censored-tee.

Brian Kendrick and Cody Rhodes are fired up about being in the Royal Rumble when Hardcore Holly comes in. This turns into a discussion of MySpace and Holly is lost.

Video on Randy Orton, eventually focusing on his feud with Jeff Hardy.

Hornswoggle/Finlay vs. Highlanders

Rory takes Finlay into the corner to start but he knocks Robbie off the apron without much effort. For some reason Rory goes after Hornswoggle, meaning Finlay blasts him with a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash is good enough to give Hornswoggle the fast pin.

Video on JBL vs. Chris Jericho.

Here is a more serious Jericho for a chat. Jericho talks about how he could come out here and rant and rave about how he wants JBL tonight, but that won’t work. Last week, Jericho was watching Raw with his children when JBL called him a coward. His son asked if he was a coward and for the first time, Jericho saw doubt in his son’s eyes.

JBL didn’t make a mistake when he choked Jericho and hurt his throat, but only when he didn’t finish the job. Jericho is still here and he isn’t coming to the Royal Rumble for a shot, but to hurt JBL. This was serious Jericho and it worked really well. Do this kind of thing more often, at least when it’s needed.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince McMahon yells at Jeff Hardy over last week’s mega Swanton and tells him to never risk himself like that. Now go shake Randy Orton’s hand. Hardy promises to give everyone something to talk about.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Brian Kendrick vs. Umaga

William Regal pops up on screen to introduce Umaga. Kendrick avoids a charge to start and strikes away but gets hit with an uppercut to cut that off fast. The running Tree of Woe headbutt misses though and Kendrick goes for some running shots to the face. This goes as well as you would expect as Umaga hits the pop up Samoan drop. The Samoan Spike sends Umaga to the Rumble fast.

Mickie James cries to Maria about losing to Beth Phoenix again. Ashley Massaro comes in and wants to talk to Maria about something she heard at the Playboy Mansion. Cue Santino Marella who doesn’t like Playboy and accidentally suggests Maria is a cow.

We look at Vince McMahon on the Celebrity Apprentice.

Video on Jeff Hardy on his way to the World Title match against Randy Orton.

Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly

Santino Marella and Maria are here with Carlito so Holly has Cody Rhodes with him. They fight over a hiptoss to start until a full nelson slam plants Carlito for an early two. Carlito takes him down as well and we hit the chinlock, only to have Holly fight up for a suplex. That earns him another takedown but Hardy is back up again and wins a slugout. Santino’s distraction breaks up the Alabama Slam though and Carlito hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another match with no time to get anywhere and that isn’t a big disappointment. You can only get so much out of these two fighting for any length of time and it isn’t like there was much of a point to this one. Nothing to see with the match, but at least Holly didn’t have a wig on.

HHH won the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: HHH vs. ???

William Regal comes out to say HHH has to beat three opponents in an over the top rope gauntlet match. First up is Snitsky, who forearms away to take over but HHH slips out of a powerslam. A running clothesline knocks Snitsky out so Regal sends out Mark Henry as the second opponent. Henry runs him over and goes for the elimination but it’s far too early for that. The splash misses for Henry in the corner so HHH tries and fails at a slam. Now the splash connects but he misses a charge, meaning Regal himself is the third opponent. Regal can’t get him out so HHH punches him in the face and hits the spinebuster. The easy elimination sends HHH on to the Rumble.

Rating: D. What else was this going to be? It was HHH winning three straight short over the top challenges against two monsters and a lackey in a suit. You can’t get much out of that and that is about as far as they got here. HHH was always going to be in the Rumble and they didn’t bother with anything overly flashy here, which was about as good as this was going to get.

Another video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy.

Here is Vince McMahon to oversee a handshake between Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy. Vince knows how big of a match this is going to be and has them stand face to face. Orton talks about how he was relieved when he found out he would be facing Hardy. Now though, he admits he underestimated Hardy, though Orton is leaving with the title.

Hardy doesn’t care about gaining Orton’s respect and says he has been doing these things for himself and his brother Matt. He’ll do anything to become WWE Champion and doesn’t respect Orton. Hardy goes outside and shakes hands with JR, the King, Lilian Garcia and a bunch of fans. Back in and Hardy shakes Orton’s hand, only to naturally pull him into the Twist of Fate to end the show. The handshake stuff was good and going to the fans was clever, but was this ever going to end with anything but a Twist of Fate?

Overall Rating: C-. There wasn’t much to be done here and I think they knew that coming in. With the World Title match having been set for weeks now and the Rumble not needing much more work, there wasn’t a lot that had to be done here. The Rumble should be a good show and I’m curious to see where things go after that.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 17, 2007: He Could Win

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Armageddon now and the big Raw story was JBL getting physical for the first time in a long while as he cost Chris Jericho the World Title. That means Randy Orton needs a new challenger and that is exactly what he has in the form of Jeff Hardy. The Royal Rumble is coming up, but so is the end of the year so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon getting beaten up at the Raw 15th Anniversary in a pretty cool moment.

Opening sequence.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Santa’s Little Helper match. Jillian tries to sing but gets cut off by the other team’s entrance and we’re ready to go. Maria flips Jillian down to start and it’s Michelle coming in to clean house. A bunch of hiptosses put the villains down before Kelly comes in. That doesn’t go so well as Victoria and Melina double team her down in the corner. Kelly is out in a hurry and brings in Mickie, with the MickieDT finishing Victoria in a hurry.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? It’s a bunch of women in their festive outfits, which were the stars of the match. There was no story or structure to the match and they were probably told the winner and nothing more. It did its job well enough, but that had nothing to do with having a match.

Post match the winners clear the ring but here is a very shaken looking Vince McMahon to tell them to get out. Vince talks about how last week was supposed to be a celebration of his greatest creation but he was left laying and covered in beer while everyone else celebrated. What he doesn’t understand is how all of these people were so happy to see it.

Cue Jeff Hardy (there’s a pair you don’t see very often) to say that next week they’re going to Iraq. Jeff says that the people celebrated when Saddam Hussein was killed because he was crazed with power. Does that sound familiar? Vince gets the point…and sits down in the corner to cry as we take a break.

Back with William Regal and a referee trying to get Vince to leave but here is HHH instead. HHH calls Regal Liberace and says he’s the closest thing Vince has left to family. Vince cries even more so HHH sits next to him and apologizes for everything that happened last week (which he lists off). HHH: “Now get out of the ring before they cancel the show.”

Regal isn’t having this so he threatens….to have security throw HHH out. Vince forces himself to his feet and tells Regal to get Coach, but no security. Tonight it’s Regal/Coach vs. HHH and Vince hopes something bad happens to everyone. Then he cries some more. Weird Vince can be entertaining Vince and that was the case here.

HHH vs. William Regal/Jonathan Coachman

Everyone is in street clothes for a unique look. A single right hand drops Coach and HHH slugs away on Regal. The numbers game gets the better of things though and HHH gets sent into the post. Then a kick to the head drives it into the post again and Coach gets two. That’s enough for HHH as the comeback is on with right hands all around, plus a facebuster to Regal. The brass knuckles are cut off with a spinebuster to Regal and HHH picks up the knuckles. Coach gets poked in the head with said knuckles, setting up the Pedigree for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. What else is there to say about something like this? It was a quick workout for HHH, who isn’t going to lose often and especially not to these two. Vince losing his marbles is a good sign and if he sends these two do bumble through his bidding, it could be a lot of fun. For now though, HHH got to beat them up and he knows how to do that very well.

We recap JBL costing Chris Jericho the Raw World Title last night.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Holly and Rhodes are defending after winning the titles from Cade and Murdoch last week. Cade drives Rhodes into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Holly to chop Murdoch against the ropes. An atomic drop, with Cade adding a running big boot, cuts that off and an assisted legdrop gives Murdoch two. The dropkick gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s back to Rhodes as everything breaks down. Rhodes DDTs Cade to retain the titles. Well that was brisk.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat before his latest career threatening match. Flair reiterates that he will NEVER retire, even though Vince McMahon said the next time he loses, he will never wrestle again. Apparently Vince doesn’t want to see him get hurt but Flair has been doing this for thirty five years and he has loved doing all of this. Flair has sacrificed everything to be here and he isn’t about to throw it away.

He has traveled the roads for thirty years and we hear about a lot of them (Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, Ricky Steamboat etc), plus some of the new friends he has made (Batista, Undertaker, HHH, Shawn Michaels etc). Now he has to be the Nature Boy and he respects everyone in that locker room. Tonight it’s another journey because he has Umaga but he is giving it all he has. He wants the best from whoever beats him and isn’t losing without the fight of his life. If he loses tonight, thank you. Rather nice speech there, as Flair knows how to bring the emotion.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair strikes away to start to the same amount of avail that you would expect. Umaga shoves him down without much trouble and grabs an early nerve hold. Back up and a clothesline drops Flair again, setting up a belly to belly for two. Some cannonballs down onto the chest keep Flair down and we’re right back to the nerve hold.

Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt though and now Flair’s chops work a bit better. The chop block doesn’t do much though and Umaga knocks him outside. The big running charge misses though and Umaga crashes through the barricade, allowing Flair to beat the count back in and survive.

Rating: C-. That’s how this should have gone, as Umaga was squashing Flair until he managed to escape rather than win. Flair shouldn’t be able to beat someone like Umaga at this point and they didn’t bother trying to do anything else. That kind of emotional trip is something Flair can sell as he knows how to do as well as anyone. Not a great match, but a properly told story.

Flair: “One more thing: WOO!”

Here is Chris Jericho to call out JBL. He should be happy with what he did last night because he beat Randy Orton, but it was by DQ. We see a clip of JBL interfering to cost Jericho the title and he wants an explanation. JBL isn’t here tonight, so Jericho will be heading to Smackdown to get some answers in person.

Cue JBL on the Titantron to say he’s too busy to be in a place like Buffalo. Jericho is low on JBL’s list of priorities and he blames Jericho for causing his own problems. Apparently this means Jericho being sent into JBL last night, which sends Jericho into a rant about how everyone is knocked over out here. Timekeeper Mark Yeaton got superkicked last week but he didn’t storm the ring. JBL: “MARK YEATON NEEDS AN APPOINTMENT TO TALK TO MY DOORMAN!”

Jericho promises to be at Smackdown but JBL warns him that a deal will be made to prevent that. JBL knew this would happen and talked to Vince McMahon, saying that if Jericho goes after him again, there is no Royal Rumble and no future title shot. That makes Jericho think that JBL has lost his killer instinct and is now listed with the talk show hosts and broadcasters. That’s too far for JBL, who is coming to Raw next week because he is a wrestling god. Seems to work for Jericho.

Santino Marella/Carlito vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Santino and Carlito. Hold on though as Carlito and Santino aren’t sure who should start because they’re new at this teaming together thing. Kendrick takes over on Santino’s arm to start and hands it off to London to stay on that arm. London’s running dropkick puts Santino down again so it’s off to Carlito to try his luck. A high crossbody takes Carlito down but Santino offers a distraction. That’s enough for a Backstabber to finish London for quite the upset.

Post match Santino thinks Carlito is Colombian and makes a spitting joke as the new team doesn’t seem to be the greatest idea.

Randy Orton says he did exactly what he promised to do last night by beating up Chris Jericho. Now he is ready for Jeff Hardy at the Royal Rumble.

HHH congratulates Ric Flair on his win. They’re both rather happy but here is wacky Vince McMahon to say HHH can face Flair in a career threatening match in two weeks.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Orton runs Hardy over to start but Hardy kicks him away for a standoff. Kennedy comes in to knock him into the corner, only to get knocked down for the legdrop between the legs. A crossbody hits Kennedy and everything breaks down with the good guys hitting stereo dives to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Hardy missing Whisper in the Wind to put him in trouble for a change. Orton stomps away before handing it right back to Kennedy, who gets caught with a clothesline. It’s back to Shawn to clean a few rooms before Orton cheap shots him from the apron.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shawn is whipped hard into the corner for a crash to the floor. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp before Kennedy grabs a camel clutch of all things. With that broken up, Shawn enziguris his way to freedom and falls into the corner for the tag to Hardy. The pace picks up (as it tends to do with Hardy) and everything breaks down (as it tends to do with main event tag matches). Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a very fast Swanton to finish Orton for a statement win.

Rating: C+. This match was designed to do one thing and one thing only: make it clear that Hardy could win. Hardy is on a roll at the moment and all roads lead to the Royal Rumble, where Hardy might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans are behind him and he is racking up win after win, so why can’t he make something like this work? That seems to be the idea they are focusing on at the moment and that could wind up being great. Shawn and Kennedy were there too, but this was all about Hardy beating Orton.

Overall Rating: C. You could definitely tell this was a show where they were taking things a bit less seriously as it was a more lighthearted and easy week. The main event served a purpose, but the only other story that was treated seriously was Flair. Vince was being his over the top self and that tends to be more humorous than anything else, though it’s not like HHH beating up Coach is ever going to get old. Not the most interesting show, but an easy watch.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2019 Redo): One Of The Classics

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Post match Cena hands him the title and leaves, likely straight to the hospital to get that thing out of his arm. The confetti falls and pyro goes off….and here’s Randy Orton with the other Money in the Bank briefcase, because we needed two of them. Orton does the big staredown, teases leaving, turns back around…and HHH lays Bryan out with the Pedigree to turn full heel.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Monday Night Raw – December 10, 2007 (15th Anniversary Special, 2022 Redo): I Love It

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2007
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a special show this week as it is the fifteenth anniversary celebration of the show. That means not only do we have a bunch of guest stars, but it is an extra large three hour edition. Throw in that it is also the go home show for Armageddon and this is going to be a busy night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a mash up of Raw intros over the years, though oddly enough they aren’t in chronological order.

Here are the McMahons (minus Linda of course) for a chat. Vince is ready for the McMahon Family Portrait but first, he needs to brag about how great Raw has been over the years. Tonight it is time for a family reunion, though minus Linda McMahon who has some stomach issue. Instead, he has Shane and Stephanie out here and wants the photographer but gets Hornswoggle. That means Hornswoggle grabs the leg, so Shane has to pull him off. Vince says he loves Shane, Stephanie, and the fans.

It’s time for the picture, but here is HHH to interrupt. Vince: “What are you doing here?” HHH: “I’m waiting on that pop to die down.” HHH says he’s here for the family portrait because everyone knows what is going on here. It’s like he could be Vince’s son! HHH: “Sup Steph?” Anyway, HHH wants to bring out some of the Divas, past and present, that Vince has loved before. This includes Melina, Sunny and….Mae Young! Vince: “It was at Moolah’s funeral I had a lot to drink. Steph…..and I was thinking of your mom!”

HHH calls out any WWE employee who has been mistaken for a woman and that Vince has attempted to love, drawing out the Fink, Big Dick Johnson, Bastion Booger, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz. HHH: “I guess the Brooklyn Brawler was busy tonight.” Stephanie says she’s embarrassed by Vince so it’s time that she embarrassed him. She kisses HHH for the first time in a good many years and leaves. HHH: “I’ll see you at home. Uh, I mean your brother’s a gnome!”

Vince to HHH: “I HATE YOU!” HHH tells Vince to just go away but realizes that Hornswoggle is sad. All he wanted was to be happy, so HHH brings out the Godfather, complete with women. JR: “Even Patterson is happy!” Hornswoggle’s mind is blown and dancing ensues to wrap up a hilarious segment, with HHH getting to do the humor that suits him best.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Hardy is defending in a ladder match. Carlito kicks him down and sets up the ladder way too early, only to have to stop for a clothesline. Hardy gets in a shot of his own but a slingshot dive only hits ladder. A dropkick knocks Carlito off the apron and into a ladder bridged against the barricade so Hardy goes up. That means Carlito has to springboard in to land on the ladder (Shelton Benjamin style), setting up a sunset bomb to leave them both laying.

We take a break and come back with Jeff missing a legdrop over the ladder to send him crashing down. Carlito crushes the leg in the ladder and then drops a ladder onto it to make Hardy scream even more. Hardy can barely move so Carlito….puts the ladder in the corner instead of climbing, earning himself a backdrop onto said ladder. The Swanton connects but a Backstabber sends Hardy into the ladder. Carlito goes up but this time Hardy shoves him down and retains the title.

Rating: C+. They weren’t going for anything groundbreaking here but Jeff can do this match in his sleep (and probably came close to it at various points). Carlito was just a challenger of the week as Jeff is on his way up, as he isn’t going to be losing less than a week before his pay per view showdown with HHH. They had some big spots here, but it’s just a quick ladder match with as much drama as that can bring.

Shawn Michaels can’t believe it has been fifteen years of Monday Night Raw. He was on the first show and defended the Intercontinental Title against….someone (Max Moon). While Shawn can’t remember fifteen years ago, he can remember Mr. Kennedy bringing in an impostor Marty Jannetty. That’s why he brought in the real one this week to face Kennedy, because he faces MR. HBK……HBK…..this weekend.

We take a look at some classic OMG Raw moments. I know these things are done over and over but there really have been some great ones on this show over the years.

Here are Santino Marella and Maria, with the former being tired of all this….and here’s a surprise.

Santino Marella vs. Rob Van Dam

Kick to the head and the Five Star finish in less than forty five seconds. Very nice cameo as Van Dam is always going to pop the crowd.

Long video on Evolution, which really was a special stable in a lot of ways.

Here are all four members of Evolution (or “original” members according to the introduction, even though there were only ever four of them) for a reunion. Randy Orton comes out last but says he’s going to stay on the stage instead of having the rest of the teams ride his coattails. Orton remembers what happened when HHH turned on him the last time he was champion. HHH: “Yeah that was pretty cool.”

They beat him up because hes was annoying, but Orton would rather be remembered as part of Rated-RKO with Edge, who comes out as well. Edge says he’ll take the World Title from Batista on Sunday, but Ric Flair says find a partner and let’s fight. Orton has already done that so we’re ready to go.

Evolution vs. Umaga/Rated-RKO

Joined in progress with Batista handing it off to Flair to lock up with Edge. As Lawler clarifies that the “Flair retires if he loses” only applies to singles matches, Umaga takes Flair down and grabs a nerve hold. Orton comes in to stomp away and the knee drop gets two. A backdrop gets Flair out of trouble and it’s Batista coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Umaga cleans house….but also shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was all about the reunion and I get why they didn’t have one of the #1 contenders lose. That being said, Umaga has lost to HHH on his own how many times now but can’t take a fall to most of Evolution? As has been the case with everything on this show, this is about the moment instead of the match and that’s not a bad thing.

Post match Orton and Edge leave Umaga on his own, meaning it’s big beatdown. Couldn’t they have just done that for the finish to the match?

More classic Raw moments, this time involving vehicles.

Hornswoggle annoys Mickie James and Molly Holly until William Regal breaks that up. Regal talks about Vince McMahon’s tough love, which tonight will be shown in a match against the Great Khali. Oh and as luck would have it: Finlay’s plane ticket from Ireland was canceled so Hornswoggle is on his own.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

The bell rings….and it’s Hulk Hogan (in black) for the save. We get the big staredown and Hogan hammers away, eventually knocking Khali down. That’s enough for Khali to bail as we get a tease for one more Hogan match. Hogan thanks the fans, talks about American Gladiators, does a Randy Savage OH YEAH (ok then), and poses with Hornswoggle for the funny moment.

Here are some classic D-Generation X moments.

Another classic moment: the debut of Mr. Socko, which has to be up there on the “how did they get this stupid thing over”, with the answer being “because Mick Foley is really awesome”. Vince throwing him out and sealing his own fate because he has no protection from Steve Austin a few minutes later makes it all the better.

Legends Battle Royal

Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink The Clown, Repo Man, Steve Blackman, Pete Gas, Bob Backlund, Gangrel, The Goon, Skinner, Flash Funk, IRS, Scotty 2 Hotty, Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Neidhart, Gillberg

For some reason there are sixteen people in a fifteen man battle royal but oh well. Gillberg gets the big entrance, but the impressive one here is Blackman, who looks better than he did in his career. Everyone gets together and tosses Gillberg before Backlund is knocked out as well. Snow knocks Doink out with Head and then does the same thing to Gangrel. Head Cheese explodes for a bit but Funk kicks Snow out.

A bunch of people go out in a hurry and suddenly we’re down to IRS, Slaughter, Scotty and Skinner. IRS grabs his briefcase but Scotty knocks it into his face, setting up the Worm. Skinner dumps Scotty but gets caught in the Cobra Clutch. That’s broken up as Slaughter tosses Skinner, only to get dumped by IRS for the win.

Rating: C. This was more or less the poor man’s version of the Gimmick Battle Royal and that is not a bad thing. Again, this was all about the wrestlers having one more moment and the winner wasn’t important in the slightest. Just let the fans have some fun with the “oh I remember him” moments.

Hold on though because here is Ted DiBiase….who pays off IRS to eliminate himself and give DiBiase the win. That’s always great.

People have been slapped over the years.

Here is Eric Bischoff to talk about how things keep changing but always stay the same. At the end of the day, he is here to take your money and people like the McMahons need him to reinvent the business. So now give him a round of applause! Or have Chris Jericho interrupt, and Bischoff knows this isn’t good.

Bischoff: “Didn’t I fire you in this ring a couple of years ago?” Jericho remembers being fired but he thanks Bischoff for reigniting a fire in him. That’s why he’ll be the new WWE Champion on Sunday, which has Bischoff laughing. Jericho laughs at Bischoff for being fat and going bald but Bischoff suggests Jericho just forfeit the match to Orton right now. After some rhyming, Jericho knocks him down and takes out Randy Orton for trying to interfere. This felt like the “oh yeah we should do something about that match” segment.

Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Rhodes and Holly are challenging and Dusty Rhodes is on commentary in case you needed a hint about the result. Dusty is very excited (believe it or not) as Cody starts with Murdoch, who slams him down for an elbow drop. Cade misses an elbow of his own though and the hot tag brings in Holly to clean house. The dropkick hits Murdoch and Cade hits him by mistake to make it worse. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin and the titles. Nothing wrong with a title change to make a show like this feel special, especially with Dusty there too.

Celebrities have been on Raw over the years.

Video on the Divas over the years, which has been up and down to put it mildly.

Here is Jillian Hall, who has a Christmas album out. She starts singing the 12 Days Of Christmas but Trish Stratus interrupts. Trish doesn’t like Jillian’s singing but Jillian doesn’t like Trish’s ego. Cue Lita for the staredown with Trish but they team up in hatred of music. Those two deserve a quick moment on this kind of a show and this was good.

Also on Raw over the years: comedy hijinks! Oftentimes minus the comedy, but Edge and Christian on the kazoos continue to reek of awesomeness. Thankfully Mick Foley getting the Rock with an IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK and taking a lap around the ring is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

And now, weddings! They are quite the tradition and they still work, at least most of the time.

Lita watches the wedding video when Kane comes up to her. Awkwardness ensues, with Kane asking if she’s seen any good movies lately and Lita asking about the weather. Ron Simmons gets his cameo.

Armageddon rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty

Marty goes after the arm to start but Kennedy kicks the knee out and grabs a half crab. Back up and an enziguri gets Marty out of trouble, allowing him to hammer away for two. The right hands in the corner are countered with Kennedy’s atomic drop but Marty is back with the Rocker Dropper. Kennedy breaks up the top rope fist drop though and the Mic Drop gives him the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here that ties into something that happened last week. Marty wasn’t bad, but what are you supposed to get out of a four minute match that didn’t have a ton of drama? Not an awful match or anything close to it, but Marty felt like a relic from the past instead of a threat.

Post match Kennedy stays on Marty but Shawn Michaels runs in Kennedy gets on him too, drawing out HHH for the save and (another) DX reunion.

Here is Vince McMahon to name the Greatest Superstar In Raw History. There are maybe three realistic options for that pick, but Vince announces……HIMSELF as the winner. Cue Mankind for the Mandible Claw to leave Vince laying for a nice reaction. Then the lights go out and a gong strikes, meaning it’s the Undertaker (coming to the ring…..slowly…..methodically…..at his own pace) for a chokeslam. As you might imagine, with Vince down and mostly done, the glass shatters and here’s Steve Austin, who still seems rather popular.

Austin thinks fifteen years of Raw is impressive and deserves a toast so he’ll drink to that. Vince needs to get up, but Austin lays down next to him for the toast, only to realize that this isn’t going to work. Austin gets him up and Vince tries to drink, only to get cut off by the Stunner.

With Vince done, Austin says the card Vince had didn’t matter, because the greatest star in the history of Raw is the fans. It doesn’t matter if you’re at home watching on TV or in this arena in the cheap seats or front row, you’re the reason this show has worked for so long. Austin calls out the locker room for a beer bash (William Regal and CM Punk seem to have something else in hand) and one more punch to Vince wraps us up, as only it could.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great example of a show that was not about the wrestling whatsoever and that is not a bad thing. This show was all about nostalgia, with Armageddon being something that was kind of in the background. I had a blast with the nostalgia between the clips and the appearances, and the big ending at the end was great. WWE knows how to do reunion shows well and this is one of the better ones they’ve ever done.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.