Royal Rumble 2009 Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz
This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.
No intro video this year. That’s interesting.
ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.
Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.
Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.
Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.
Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.
Orton arrives and gets glared at.
Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina
Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.
Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.
Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.
We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.
JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.
Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.
Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.
JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.
Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.
Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.
We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.
Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.
We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.
Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.
Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.
Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.
Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.
That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.
Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.
Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.
Royal Rumble
Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.
Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.
Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.
Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.
The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.
Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.
Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.
We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.
Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.
Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.
Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.
Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.
The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.
Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.
Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.
Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.
The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.
So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.
Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.
Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.
Ratings Comparison
Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Original: B
Redo: B-
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix
Original: C-
Redo: D+
John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Original: C
Redo: C-
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: B-
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: D
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: B+
Redo: C-
So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.
We’ll continue our look at tag wrestlers with Christian.
Christian is one of those guys that has been around FOREVER so I’m going to have to jump over some time for the sake of space.
His first match in the WWF was actually a title match at In Your House XXV.
Light Heavyweight Title: Christian vs. Taka Michinoku
This is Christian’s in ring debut and he’s accompanied by Gangrel. He’s also been confirmed as Edge’s brother (since retconned because you can do that in wrestling) but they don’t see eye to eye at the moment. Taka is still champion but has since turned heel and joined Kaientai because Yamaguchi-San was revealed to be his brother in law. Feeling out process to start until Taka hits a spinwheel kick and clothesline to put Christian on the floor. Taka follows it up with his signature springboard dive as we see Edge watching from the crowd.
Back in and Taka drops a top rope knee but misses a charge in the corner, allowing Christian to take control with a reverse DDT. Two rolling snap suplexes set up a sitout front suplex for two on Michinoku. Taka misses a charge and is low bridged to the floor, setting up a nice springboard dive from the challenger. Back in and Christian chokes away but misses a top rope splash to put both guys down.
Taka sends him to the floor for an Asai Moonsault before going back inside for a high cross body but Christian rolls through for two. A low dropkick gets two for Michinoku but Christian gets the same off a Russian legsweep. Taka comes back with a tornado DDT to set up the Michinoku Driver but Christian rolls through for the pin and the title, plus a big pop from the crowd.
Rating: C+. This was a long overdue title change but Taka wasn’t a failure with the title at all. He would soon be shifted into the tag team division which was the best move for him. Christian would go on to have a huge career and win virtually every title in the company which makes his first win here all the more interesting.
We’ll skip over A LOT of tag matches and pick things up at Backlash 2001.
European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Christian vs. Eddie Guerrero
Matt is champion, having beaten Eddie sometime between this show and Mania. Apparently it was three days ago. Good to know. Matt fights off a double team to start and that doesn’t last long at all. Matt is tossed to the floor so Christian jumps Eddie as a result. Powerslam gets two for the Canadian. Eddie snaps off a rana and pounds on Christian a bit more. Matt back in now and everyone is down.
Matt takes Christian down with a clothesline for two. Eddie is off somewhere, probably looking for a taco. Ah there he is and he pulls Matt to the floor, only for both of them to be taken down by a baseball slide by the Canadian. Matt gets a tornado DDT on the floor but is pulled back in by Eddie who hits a brainbuster for two. There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the teenage screams.
Christian saves Matt from taking a rana for some reason and Matt drops Christian onto Guerrero. Matt takes over and Christian accidently takes out Eddie. Middle rope legdrop gets a big pop and a close two on Eddie. Edge pops up out of nowhere to spear Matt in the aisle and toss him back in for two for Eddie. Edge gets in but here’s Jeff to cancel him out. Unprettier to Eddie but Jeff mostly misses a Swanton to rbeak that up. Twist of Fate ends Christian and Matt retains.
Rating: C. Just kind of there really but this could have been on Raw. That being said, it was pretty good for a buffer match between the big ones as only the main event is left. Not a horrible match at all but at the same time it wasn’t all that great. Just kind of there which isn’t something you want on a PPV. I’ve seen worse though.
Here’s the match that had to happen, from Unforgiven 2001.
Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge
Edge has the always awesome Rob Zombie entrance here too. Edge hammers away to start and Christian tries to get a breather. They fight up the ramp and it’s all Edge here. Edge hits a slingshot to send his brother/friend into the set face first. Back to the ring and Edge is in firm control. He rams Christian’s head into the middle buckle ten times and chokes away a bit.
Christian sends him into the post and let’s talk about grandma. Christian is really not quite used to being on offense on his own yet. It took him a few years to really get going with it and even then it took him a few more years to break to the main event level. Edge gets a shot in and heads up top. He shoves his brother/friend off and jumps, landing on his feet. He fakes out Christian and the Canadian hits a German on the Canadian for two.
Edge is bleeding from under his eye. They slug it out and a double cross body puts both of them down. This isn’t really gelling but it’s not bad. Unprettier is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is tossed to the floor and he crawls under the ring so he can come out the other side and hit a top rope cross body for two. The less successful brother goes to the floor and grabs some chairs for a Conchairto but Edge sweeps the leg, sending a chair into Christian’s head. Edge tries the same thing and Christian pops him in the balls with a chair for the title.
Rating: C-. It’s not a bad match but the flow was way off. It’s like they went from one set of spots to the next with little in between. They would get a lot better but at this point Christian just wasn’t ready to do much and Edge wasn’t good enough in the ring to be able to carry him there yet either.
And the required rematch at No Mercy 2001.
Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Christian
Oh and did I mention this was a ladder match? The brawl starts in the aisle with Edge taking over. Backdrop puts Christian down so he hits the floor. Here comes the first ladder but Edge hits a baseball slide into it, sending the ladder into Christian’s ribs. They head into the crowd over by what appear to be hockey boards. There’s nothing to do out there so they head back to the ring.
Christian is laid on the floor and catapulted into the ladder which is up against the ring. The ladder is bridged between the steps and barricade with Edge being dropped onto it. They fight onto the ladder and Christian gets crotched. Edge looks to put the ladder inside the ring but Christian manages a see-saw shot to the face to take over. Christian goes up but Edge makes an easy save.
Christian pins Edge in the corner with a ladder and gets a chair. For some reason he goes to the top with that chair and is promptly slammed onto the ladder. Both of them are sent into the ladder with Edge going in second. Here comes another ladder which Christian climbs. Edge sets up the original and goes up as well, resulting in an Edge-O-Matic from the ladder. That looked awesome. Edge goes up, but Christian hits a reverse DDT off the ladder to get us back to even.
The champ rolls to the floor and gets a pair of chairs. This isn’t going to go well is it? Edge avoids the Conchairto and brings in a third ladder for some reason. A ladder is propped up between two chairs and Edge splashes Christian onto it with the ladder not moving at all. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Edge climbs but Christian jabs him down with a ladder.
Christian goes up but Edge dives off the ladder with a spear to take him down. There are three ladders set up in the ring now: two next to each other and one perpendicular to it. As in the third one’s legs are facing the two ladders which are facing the cameras. Both of them go up and they crash down to the floor.
The fans are way into this and I can’t say I blame them. Christian gets back in first and climbs but Edge hits him low which is what Christian did to win the title in the first place. Edge puts him on the top of the ladders, puts a chair under his head and delivers a One Man Conchairto to KILL Christian. Edge pulls down the title which is academic.
Rating: B+. What else were you expecting here? The ending looked great and is a great way to end this feud. At the end of the day, these two are masters at this kind of match so giving them 22 minutes to have one is about the best thing you can possibly do. Great match and it did exactly what they were hoping it would do.
Here’s a rare tag match from Vengenace 2002.
Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Christian vs. Hulk Hogan/Edge
This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.
I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.
He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.
Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?
Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.
Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that? Also can you imagine Christian being at Wrestlemania VI and then wrestling Hogan one day? I love that kind of stuff.
Christian would be in a battle royal for the revived Intercontinental Title at Judgment Day 2003.
Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal
Val Venis (returning here after being Chief Morely for awhile), Chris Jericho, Goldust, Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Christian, Test (pulling a double tonight), Kane, Booker T (not a former champion yet in this anyway)
Pat Patterson handles the introductions. Only 9 people in this which is a rather odd number. Standard over the top rules here. Kane and RVD, the Raw tag champions, go at it immediately. Everyone gangs up on Kane and he’s like boys please and tosses Storm. RVD takes the knee out and it’s another pile on Kane. This time they get him out so we’re down to seven.
Kane comes back in to beat them up for fun. Booker puts Test out and Goldust throws out Val. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to put Van Dam out so it’s down to Goldust, Jericho, Booker and Christian. Goldie cleans house for a bit but the Canadians come back to take over. Goldust comes back and bulldogs both Canadians. This is getting boring in a hurry.
With the help of Booker, both Canadians gets Shattered Dreams. There’s the Spinarooni but Goldust lunges at him, only to get tossed as well. It’s down to Booker vs. Christian vs. Jericho. The fans are all behind Booker here. This isn’t his year though as he was beaten by a racist heel at Mania (People “like Booker” don’t win world titles. What do you think that was implying?) and gets double teamed here.
Booker fights them off for a bit and Jericho skins the cat. Down goes Booker again as the words GET ON WITH THIS play over and over in my head. Jericho is bleeding from the nose. Jericho sets for the Lionsault and Christian shoves him out! I love double crosses. Booker beats on him for awhile and a referee somehow is knocked down. Christian hit a baseball slide into him if you’re curious.
Yes, it’s going to be a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. Scissors kick misses and Christian goes to the apron. Booker sends him into the buckle and wins this. The music plays and Christian steals the belt from Patterson. A belt shot to the head and a toss out later and it’s Christian that officially wins the title. Booker would get it back about two months later. Everyone hates this mind you. Yes, a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. I told you this era was weak.
Rating: D+. Another boring match tonight which is a theme here. Was there a point to this being a battle royal other than not wanting to have two tournaments going at once? For some reason they were afraid to give Booker anything even though he was on a roll and was over as all goodness at this point. That’s Vince for you though. Weak match with a bad ending.
Here’s the start of a great feud at Wrestlemania XX. I’ll throw in the buildup and post match stuff for the full effect.
We recap Christian vs. Jericho which is a pretty awesome story. Month ago Christian and Jericho made a bet for $1 Canadian that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Jericho wound up falling for Trish but she found out about the bet. He’s spent months begging for her forgiveness but Christian got tired of hearing Jericho whining like this.
Trish agreed to just be friends but Christian started hitting on her. Bischoff made Christian vs. Trish with Christian agreeing to lay down for her. Christian decided to show some tough love by putting her in the Walls of Jericho, setting up Christian vs. Jericho tonight with Jericho fighting for the honor of his love. This is one of my favorite feuds.
Christian vs. Chris Jericho
They lock up to start with Jericho getting very aggressive and taking Christian down by the hair. A belly to back suplex gets two for Jericho and he backdrops Christian over the top and out to the floor. Chris hits a big spring plancha but can’t hook the Walls back inside. Christian sends Jericho over the top and out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and Christian chokes away before slapping his own chest a bit. A knee to Jericho’s ribs gets two and it’s off to a neck crank.
Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out for good measure before covering. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Chris’ back but it’s quickly broken up into another failed Walls attempt. A forearm puts Christian down and there’s a running crotch attack to Christian in 619 position. The running enziguri gets two for Jericho before they trade rollups for two each. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris but the bulldog sets up the Lionsault which hits knees.
Jericho charges into an elbow into the corner and gets taken down by a reverse tornado DDT for two. The reverse DDT into a backbreaker puts Jericho down again but Christian goes up and gets crotched. He blocks a superplex though and hits a top rope cross body, only for Jericho to roll through for two. This is solid stuff so far. Christian kicks Jericho in his injured knee and puts on the old school Texas Cloverleaf. In an impressive counter, Jericho gets underneath Christian and rolls through into the Walls but AGAIN Christian makes the ropes.
Jericho takes it to the floor and puts on the Walls out there before having to break the count. Back in and a butterfly superplex gets a VERY close two on Christian as Trish comes bouncing down the aisle. An inverted DDT puts Chris down for two and Christian spots Trish. He drags her into the ring but Jericho makes the save. Not being able to see though, Trish blasts Jericho in the face, allowing Christian to hook a quick rollup for the pin.
Rating: B. As I said I’m a bit fan of this match and the angle that went along with it. This was Christian’s best singles match to date and he looked perfectly capable of hanging with a more talented guy like Jericho. Trish of course would play a much bigger role just after the match, so let’s get to the interesting part.
Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho before slapping him, turning into EVIL Trish. Christian lays out Jericho and leaves with the girl. Evil Trish was SMOKING hot and we would get to see a lot more of her as this feud continued for months.
One more WWE match at Vengeance 2005.
Raw World Title (WWE): Chris Jericho vs. Christian vs. John Cena
So Christian was about 3 months away from leaving and Jericho was about 2 months away, so this is one of their last big matches. At the moment Christian is little more than a midcarder in over his head. Christian’s music is just odd sounding when it’s at that slower pace. Actually all three of these guys have had almost the same music for almost five years. That’s very different. Oh and the spinner is new at this point. Wow that was freaking idiotic.
The one now isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Lawler bets on Christian and Ross doesn’t make a pick. That was a waste of time. Tomko interferes and is out. These are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly comprised of one on one segments and then a save before repeating about three times and go to the finish. Cena hits the FU on Christian to the floor to give us Jericho vs. Cena which is ok I guess. Apparently Cena’s CD is out at the moment.
Earlier Cena complained about Jericho using the WWE Title to sell records. That’s just hilarious actually. Cena is a hypocrite. Lionsault of course misses and now Jericho is alone in the ring. The fans pop for the table being uncovered. We hit match number two as Christian and Cena go at it. Wow it’s weird to hear Christian being called a veteran. It’s time for the heels to fight now which would be a main event today but is a clash of the upper midcard here.
We get a Tower of Doom as Christian gets suplexed and Jericho is powerbombed by Cena. Nice one too. In another nice spot, Cena drop toeholds Christian’s head into Jericho’s and hits a double 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Tomko takes Cena down but Christian only gets two. The Walls are applied and of course they don’t work since this is a Chris Jericho match. Cena gets Christian in the FU and kicks Jericho in the face to get the pin.
Rating: B+. This took a long time to get going but the last five minutes are very good. They actually did some three person spots in there which make this feel like a triple threat match where anyone could win. There was little to no drama but at the same time this wound up working very well indeed and I liked it a lot.
Christian would go on to TNA in 2005 with his first World Title shot taking place at Against All Odds 2006.
NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Christian Cage
Zbyszko and Hebner are here. That would be Dave Hebner as Earl will be refereeing. Total references to Montreal in the first minute: 4. Jarrett is defending of course. Gail is looking good too. Feeling out process to start with Christian getting a pair of twos off a pair of shoulders. Jarrett takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to get on the challenger’s nerves.
A sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Christian so Jeff heads to the apron. They both wind up out there and Christian hits a reverse DDT onto the apron to take over. Christian tries a big dive but lands on the barricade. Jeff slams him into the barricade and Christian is in big trouble. They head over to the announce table and the beating continues, followed by a slingshot into the table. This has all of the old TNA brawling favorites in it.
Back into the ring and Jarrett hooks a chinlock but Christian breaks it in seconds. And never mind as Jeff hot shots him onto the top rope. Hebner gets involved because he’s Earl Hebner and since he did something eight and a half years ago, he has to do something here. To be fair he did stuff like that before Montreal but get over it already. Gail snakes in for a rana that gets two for Jarrett.
Christian comes back with a powerbomb out of nowhere and hooks a figure four. Jarrett makes the rope so Christian yells at Hebner some more, allowing Jarrett to hit an enziguri. Jeff hooks a Sharpshooter and my head begins to hurt. Christian breaks the awful looking Sharpshooter and puts on one of his own (again with the freaking Montreal stuff!) but Jeff breaks it pretty quickly. Christian gets sent into the corner on the counter and both guys are down.
The challenger wins a slugout and runs Jarrett over a few times. Tornado DDT gets two. Jarrett slides through Christian’s legs and hits Earl’s ankle to take him down. Gail interferes again (wasn’t there some rule about anyone that interferes is FIRED?) and Jeff hits a top rope Stroke, but there’s no referee. Jarrett pounds away but walks into the Unprettier. Slick Johnson slides in to count two as everything starts going nuts as it is known to do in TNA main events.
Johnson (thankfully in full pants here) tells Gail to get down as Earl is unconscious despite being hit in the ankle and not in the, you know, head. Jeff hits Christian low so Jeff hits the referee before there can be a DQ. Why would you do that? Gail throws in a chair but Christian dropkicks it into Jarrett’s face. No referee so Christian chases Gail a bit. That gets him a guitar shot to the head which gets two. Another Gail rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb and the Stroke is countered into the Unprettier to give Christian the pin and the title.
Rating: C. You know usually I would list off the things that we had to sit through to get to the title change, but SWEET GOODNESS MAN there were too many things to remember here. This was a total mess which somehow had plot holes in it. On top of everything, WHERE WAS LARRY? He was there to open the show but he was gone for this. That makes no sense. Anyway, WAY overbooked and not even that good in the first place.
Here’s a grudge match from Bound For Glory 2006.
Christian Cage vs. Rhino
Rhino comes through the crowd as the hometown guy. He doesn’t want to wait in the ring though and goes out into the parking lot to slug it out in a ring of cars. It’s all Rhino to start until they head back inside with Christian being thrown through some boxes. Christian hides on top of a Zamboni machine for some reason, so Rhino just drives it into the arena. They head to the ramp with Rhino nailing him with a lamp post decoration.
It’s time to busts out the regular weapons with Rhino throwing in some chairs. He tries to bring in another lamp post but gets nailed in the arm with a chair. Rhino no sells the shot and hits Christian with the post but the Gore is met with a chair to the head. They head outside again with Rhino taking him into the crowd, apparently immune to chair shots to the head as well.
Rhino takes over again in the crowd and brings it back to ringside where he slides a table into the ring. A belly to belly drops Christian and Rhino sets up the table in the corner. Christian pops back up and nails Rhino in the head with an 8 Mile road sign. He throws the sign down and spits on it to really tick the fans off. Rhino is busted open and his eyes are glazed over. He’s not in bad enough shape that he can’t take Christian down when he charges with a ladder though and Christian is in trouble.
Rhino’s middle rope splash only hits ladder though and Christian hits the Unprettier for two. I would have thought that was the ending. A ladder shot to the face puts Rhino down again and Christian puts the ladder over Rhino’s chest. Now Christian brings in another chair and a straight jacket and Rhino is tied up. Christian misses a Conchairto and Rhino is able to fight back with kicks and headbutts until the referee gets him out of the jacket.
They fight on the apron over a table at ringside but Rhino punches him back into the ring. Instead he takes Christian right back outside for a piledriver off the apron and through the table for a BIG crash. Somehow that only gets two back inside as the fans think that was awesome. Back up and the Gore sends Rhino through the table by mistake but he’s up at two. Another Unprettier onto the broken table gets two more and Christian is livid. With nothing else to do he piles up everything in the ring on top of Rhino and nails him with a chair eight times in a row for the pin.
Rating: B+. This was a WAR with both guys hammering on each other until there was nothing left of one guy. Christian looked like a killer here and that’s what you have someone like Rhino around for. He can make people look good and brawl but a loss really doesn’t hurt him that badly. Good stuff again.
Another World Title match from Final Resolution 2007.
NWA World Title: Sting vs. Abyss vs. Christian Cage
Elimination rules. Tomko will be locked in a small cage at ringside. Christian gets knocked down quickly so the others go at it. Abyss is champion here if that wasn’t clear. He gets knocked to the floor so Sting beats up Christian for awhile. Abyss pulls Sting to the floor and rams him into the cage. Now Cage is thrown around too. All Abyss at the moment. Christian gets in a shot and goes back inside with Abyss as Sting is still down.
Shock Treatment hits for two on the second attempt. Christian takes out the knee but jumps into a chokeslam for two. Tomko reaches through the cage and chokes Sting. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam but the referee is yelling at Tomko. Christian guillotines Abyss on the ropes, right into a Death Drop from Sting and it’s one on one (despite a very clear shot of Abyss’ shoulder being up). Abyss chokes Sting before he leaves.
Christian uses the distraction for a missile dropkick for two. Off to a chinlock for a change of pace. Sting Hulks Up and gorilla presses the Canadian. Superplex puts both guys down and Sting can’t cover. Mitchell comes back down for no apparent reason. Sting hooks the Deathlock in the middle of the ring but Mitchell hits the guy holding the key and frees Tomko. Tomko runs in and hits a Rack Neckbreaker which is good for two.
Christian distracts the referee as Tomko comes in again. Sting knocks him to the floor as Abyss returns to beat Tomko up. Christian misses a belt shot and walks into an Unprettier from Sting for a VERY close two. Down goes the referee and Mitchell comes back in. Abyss is there too and Sting puts Mitchell in the Deathlock. Abyss I guess turns again, hitting Sting with a chain. A Frog Splash gives Christian the title.
Rating: C-. This didn’t really do it for me. It’s not bad, but MAN was it overdone at the end. Christian gets a world title out of it so the internet exploded, but at the same time the match was pretty boring. It just went too crazy at the end and the match felt like a trainwreck. Also it was pretty short, which didn’t help things.
Christian would stick around a few more years before making it back to WWE. We’ll pick things up at Backlash 2009 on the ECW brand.
ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Christian
Christian recently returned and is getting his title match here after winning an overly complicated competition. Swagger takes him down but Christian comes back with right hands and a jumping back elbow for two. Swagger is like screw that and picks Christian up and launches him to the floor. Back inside and Swagger wraps him up on the mat. That gets shifted to a bearhug and the Canadian is in trouble.
Christian breaks it up with some forearms but Swagger gets behind him into a gutbuster for two. Back to that body vice on the mat which plays into Swagger being an All-American wrestler. The Canadian escapes and hits the pendulum kick in the corner but Swagger drills him again. Vader Bomb hits knees but Christian’s tornado DDT is countered as well. Sunset flip gets a VERY close two for the challenger.
Gutwrench powerbomb is countered but Christian’s ribs are getting really banged up now. Swagger puts him on the middle rope and this time the tornado DDT connects, getting two. Jack hits a belly to belly to put Christian down again and they head to the floor. Swagger BLASTS him with a right hand and tries a German off the apron but Christian holds the rope.
Back inside Christian goes up top but gets backdropped down. A top rope Vader Bomb gets two but an Oklahoma Stampede is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt at the Stampede gets two so they both take off buckle pads. Swagger goes into one first and the Unprettier gets the pin and the title.
Rating: B-. This was the right kind of match for an opener with Christian having to fight from behind until he caught Swagger using his own tricks. Christian would dominate ECW for the next ten months or so until it was replaced by NXT while Swagger would move over to the main shows and become world champion in a questionable move.
Here’s a title defense at TLC 2009.
ECW Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian
This is the ladder match. I had almost gotten to the point of being sure that Benjamin would be winning here. Ah sweet we have the three man commentary team now. That’s a great thing to have for the PPVs. Christian gets a solid pop. Dang man there are ladders EVERYWHERE. Why in the world would you ask Lawler about his strategy for a ladder match? Actually that’s good as that’s his job.
Cole has gotten better at setting him up with softball questions which is what King is there for. This should be very awesome. The ECW Title has never changed hands in Texas. Could be because ECW didn’t go to Texas that much but whatever. We hit the floor and Christian gets the BIG ladder. And that doesn’t work so there we are. He’s in the ring with a ladder first but something tells me this isn’t how the match ends and I’m right as Shelton makes the save.
If nothing else Shelton is one of the few people that truly impresses me in the ring at times. Not a lot of people have ever been able to do that but there are times when he has my jaw hanging open. Christian is busted open and I’m pretty sure it’s legit as a ladder fell on his head. Yeah that’s legit. And here’s a guy to check on him. Oh dear. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. I love modern crowds. There’s a Santa in the crowd. That’s cool if nothing else.
For no apparent reason Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor. Sure why not? And it’s table time now. Apparently not as Shelton sets up a ladder between the ring and the announce table. Something tells me I know what’s coming. Nothing happens with it yet as we’re back in the ring. Shelton sets for what would be a Stinger Splash but Christian just throws the ladder at him. Simple yet effective.
Crowd is WAY behind Christian. I’m not sure if I like them going with the big ladders here or not. I think I do but I’m not sure. Shelton gets up the ladder and Christian shoves him off very slowly, but Shelton lands on the top rope on his feet. Think about that for a minute. That’s amazing. I know there isn’t much to criticize here but it’s a solid match. Yeah those ladders hanging from the ceiling look awesome. Shelton with a powerslam from the top of the ladder that looks better than it sounds.
Shelton does the Jeff Hardy spot where he hangs from the belt. I’ve always found that stupid. Why not just unhook the thing? Striker wants to know that too. Spotfests are fun. In a mostly cool looking spot, Shelton does that slingshot sunset flip into a powerbomb but Christian reverses into a hurricanrana. Nicely done but slightly botched which is understandable given the move they were trying to do. And now we get to the ladder they set up as a table earlier.
Shelton is trying to hit a German Suplex to Christian through the ladder but it’s blocked and Shelton lands on it. Christian dives through it and the ladder breaks. Has NOTHING on the Hardy/Edge version. Not a thing and the crowd is clearly not as into it as they wanted them to be. It ends the match though.
Rating: B+. Total spotfest but very fun for the most part. It was missing that epic spot to make it legendary though. Still though, perfect choice for the opener and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: get the crowd into the show. Very entertaining match and I think I lowballed it here.
Edge and Christian would become friends again, so Christian would help fight Alberto Del Rio. Here’s a good cage match from Smackdown, March 18, 2011.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian
Lot of time for this too. No word on how you can win here so I’d assume pin, submission and escape. Christian is all ticked off here. Josh confirms that you can win through those three ways. Killswitch is blocked early on. The announcers are really playing up this being the first cage match for Alberto. He tries to get out but Christian stops him and they fight on the top rope for a bit. German off the top doesn’t work for Alberto but the visual was awesome.
Christian tries to get out but Del Rio hits a vertical suplex from the top of the cage. Not quite Hogan/Boss Man but not bad. With both guys down we take a break. Back with Del Rio hammering away and sending a charging Christian into the cage. Alberto gets two and we hit the chinlock. After slamming Christian’s head into the mat, Del Rio goes up.
Christian grabs the leg and Alberto hits the top rope throat first. He blocks being rammed into the cage and a reverse DDT gets two. Del Rio is sent into the cage for two. Christian goes up and gets knocked back down. The running enziguri in the corner takes Christian down for two and Alberto tries to leave. His torso gets out but Christian makes a diving save.
Del Rio sets up the cross armbreaker but it’s reversed into the Killswitch for two. I would have bet on that being the finish. Christian goes up again and one more time Del Rio kicks him down. Christian is hung over the ropes so Alberto uses him as a stepping stone tos tart his climb. That was rather awesome.
Why is it that every time someone gets to the top they become as slow as a slow Christmas? Anyway it happens here to Alberto and Christian catches him. They sit on the top of the cage and slug it out with Christian getting his head slammed into the cage. Christian climbs down over Del Rio and Alberto kicks at him, knocking him down and giving Christian the win at 9:35 shown of 13:05. Good ending.
Rating: B. Good stuff here with the false finish and the ending making this work rather well. The problem with cage matches tends to be that the endings are basic, which is why shifting this one to something different helps a lot. I liked this match and it got better as it went. Good stuff.
Here’s a rematch at Extreme Rules 2011.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ladder match here. Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown. If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance. Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over. Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.
First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over. Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform. Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first. The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.
Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending. They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided. Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first. Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save. Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.
Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done. The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down. Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian. They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.
Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control. Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere. Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down. I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder. Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.
Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever. Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN’T BREAK. FREAKING OW MAN! There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down. Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over. Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.
Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel. Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID. He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car. Brodus is busted BAD. The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion. One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.
Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move. I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances. He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now. It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here. Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.
Now we get to the Smackdown after the pay per view for the start of a great feud. From Smackdown on May 7, 2011.
Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.
The rematch at Over the Limit 2011.
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian
Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go. Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great. The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.
Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as he’s controlled so far. Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog. The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined. Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesn’t pick guys up that much. Big old dropkick by Orton but he can’t get much of an advantage going.
Lawler is gone too if I didn’t mention that. Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two. Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two. Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian. They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two. Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.
The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people don’t care about Orton until he hits the RKO. Orton starts his stomp. OH NO! HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!! IT’S UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!! Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt. That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goat’s Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which I’ve never seen in WWE.
Christian grabs the rope but it’s nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that. He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner. Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match. Nice bit of psychology there.
Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two. Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR. Ok, enough with the Edge references. Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two.
With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he can’t bring himself to do it.
He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two. Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match. Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex. Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, it’s RKO time and Orton survives this.
Rating: A-. Very good match here that topped their previous match with them adding the psychology and building on their previous match. Orton showing respect to Christian like he did before on Smackdown is another nice touch as well as them adding in new stuff to make the match less predictable. Well done match as Christian continues to impress.
Another match between them at Capitol Punishment 2011.
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian
Orton comes out first here which is kind of surprising. We get big match intros and they actually check for weapons. There’s an old school move for you. First two matches in this series were great so hopefully they can keep that up here. Orton takes over to start with a bunch of punches and his back arching Thesz Press. They speed things up and Orton gets two off a shoulder block.
Orton keeps avoiding Christian’s stuff including swatting away a dropkick and casually moving away to let Christian crash to the floor on a dive. Back in the ring and Orton hits nine punches in the corner. Always something odd about him I guess. Booker tries to play up the idea that Orton is shaky due to his recent concussion. Christian puts Orton head first into the steps and his eyes are starting to mess up.
Christian takes over and works on the neck/head, getting a neckbreaker for two. Spinebuster gets two. Orton’s head is all messed up now but he manages to whip Christian into the corner to buy himself a few seconds. Backdrop puts Christian down and Orton pounds away on the chest. Christian keeps fighting back with shots to the head and heads to the floor.
That doesn’t last long as Orton pulls him back to the apron and then hits a superplex for two. RKO and Killswitch are both broken up and Orton hits that powerbomb into a neckbreaker that he hasn’t used in years but is still an awesome looking move for two. Killswitch doesn’t work again so they head to the corner where Orton blocks a good deal of stuff and hits the elevated DDT for two.
Orton goes into his zone but the RKO is countered into a reverse DDT for two. I love how they keep playing up the history they have with all of these counters to signature moves because they’re so familiar with each other. Spear misses and Orton tries another RKO but Christian reverses that for the third time and hits the spear for a close two. Orton pops up with a dropkick to send Christian back into the corner but he walks into the pendulum kick but there’s the RKO out of nowhere and we’re done. Totally abrupt ending. Christian’s foot was under the ropes.
Rating: B. Good match but not as good as last month at Over the Limit. The ending hurt it a bit but I really liked the storytelling they were doing here with the head injury and the counters that went with it. Good stuff here and they have good chemistry together. The foot under the ropes might lead to something else but I doubt it.
Here they are again at Money in the Bank 2011. Did I mention I love this feud?
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap. The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease. The crowd is totally behind Christian here. Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside. These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.
They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control. Orton grabs a rollup for two. Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor. Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO. Jackknife cover gets two for Randy. There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased. Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.
Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match. Top rope headbutt gets two. Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999. Even the crowd is into this now. Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead. Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two. He sets for the Punt but Christian moves. Randy settles for the powerslam instead.
There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble. Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him. He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ. Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ! CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!! THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!
Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff. I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before. Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is. Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.
One more PPV match at Summerslam 2011.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.
Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.
Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.
Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.
Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.
Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.
Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.
The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.
Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.
Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.
The FINAL match from Smackdown on August 30, 2011.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
In a cage and Orton is champion in case you’re reading this in like 10 years. You can win by pin/submission/escape. I didn’t know the back of the belt was red. They have about 18 minutes left so for a TV main event that’s more than enough. Christian tries two early escapes but Orton saves both times. He tries something off the middle rope but jumps into a dropkick from Randy for two. With that we take an abrupt break less than two minutes into the match.
Back with Christian in control and hammering away in the corner. Orton takes him down with a clothesline and the fans seem to like Orton better. Why do I sound surprised by that? Anyway Christian gets slammed off the top off another escape attempt. A pair of knee drops gets two for Orton. Orton’s escape attempt fails as does the elevated DDT. The Canadian goes up but Orton makes a save again.
They’re really playing up the idea of it could end at a moment’s notice as Orton gets a rollup and Christian gets a spinebuster, both for two. Cole says Christian has been around for 17 years. I don’t know what school he went to but they weren’t noted for their math. Christian gets to the top of the cage but Randy makes another save. They fight on the top rope and Orton snaps off a superplex to put both guys down at break #2.
Back with Christian almost making it and having his hands on the floor but Orton saves again. Orton starts his insane stuff but the elevated DDT is countered again. A shot to the cage is reversed into the falling DDT for two for the Canadian. Christian goes for the escape and even shoves Orton down but he’s feeling froggy and it only gets two.
Orton makes about his 10th save and avoids a spear. RKO misses and the second spear attempt hits for a close two. The drama in this has been very good. Christian loads up the Punt but Orton avoids it and in a NICE bit of psychology Christian teases his turning dive out of the corner and Orton jumps for an RKO but Christian fakes him out and climbs. Orton stops him again and gets that sweet over the shoulder powerbomb position into a neckbreaker for two. The fans are into this.
Christian tries the Killswitch but Orton escapes and tries the elevated DDT and gets it for once but the RKO is countered. Christian makes a lunge for the climb but Orton makes ANOTHER save. We’re past 10pm now and they’re fighting on the top rope. Christian tries the Killswitch from the top but Orton counters into a SUPER RKO and Christian is dead at 13:35.
Rating: A. I loved this. They played back to stuff from previous matches like the head fake and the idea of it ending at any time was excellent. This match worked incredibly well and the whole thing was great. These two have had the feud of the year in any other year because Cena vs. Punk happened this year. Great stuff again and I’m thinking it happens again at the Cell, but I’m not sure how they get there.
Christian would miss a lot of time due to injuries but would come back at Over the Limit 2012. The winner of this match gets a title match later in the night.
Battle Royal
The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.
This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.
Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.
Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.
Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.
Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.
Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.
And now the title match.
Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes
Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.
Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.
Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.
We’ll finally wrap it up with another return after an injury from Summerslam 2013. Well a few months after the return but close enough.
World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian
Another match where both guys have completely changed course in a year. Christian is challenging after winning a triple threat a few weeks back. We’re ready to go after some big match intros and some gawking at Lillian in a gray dress. They lock up and head into the corner to start with the champion grabbing a headlock. Del Rio gets him to chase him around the ring but gets his throat snapped across the top rope.
Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.
The Canadian hammers away in the corner, ducks the running enziguri, and gets two off a top rope cross body. The Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber for two as Alberto is starting to get frustrated. There’s a jumping back elbow to the jaw from Christian but Del Rio counters a sunset flip out of the corner with a right hand.
Instead a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Christian and Del Rio is in trouble. It’s not enough trouble for him to get speared though as Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for a sweet counter. The low superkick gets two more for Alberto. He tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Christian finally hits the spear but injures his bad shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker to retain Del Rio’s title at 12:28.
Rating: B. Good match here with both guys going back and forth until the logical and thought out ending. I love it when you have an old injury coming back from earlier in the match to tie into the ending, even though it’s not something you see often enough. It’s also nice to see a high level guy tapping out to a heel submission, which you see even less often.
Christian is a guy who hit the highest level he could have and had a great career along the way. I hear people say he could be the top guy in the company or at least one of them, but I don’t think that was ever a real possibility. He won multiple world titles and was part of one of the best tag teams ever so I’m not sure what more you can want for him. It helps that he could go in the ring with some of the best of them, including that awesome Orton feud which would have run away with Feud of the Year were it not for Punk vs. Cena. The guy is great and had one heck of a career.
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Superstars – April 16, 2009 (New Series Debut): They’re Right About The D Part
Superstars
Date: April 16, 2009
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia, Thompson-Boling Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 16,431
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
This is the debut episode of what used to be the flagship show. Of course it wound up being just another show that didn’t even last two years on TV before switching over to the internet but that’s what you get when you’re not Raw or Smackdown. Superstars’ hook was that it had all three rosters competing at the same time, which really isn’t all that thrilling of a concept. The first episode is stacked though with Undertaker making a rare in-ring appearance. Let’s get to it.
Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy
This is when Matt was evil and tried to kill his brother and then got hurt to end his push again. I’m still waiting on Mattitude 2.0. For some reason I believe this was originally announced as Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin but they changed it for reasons I don’t remember. Matt gets his head taken off by a right hand to the jaw and the fight heads outside. Undertaker whips him hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. Back in and Old School connects, sending us to a break.
Back with Undertaker still dominating and getting two after snapping Matt’s neck across the top rope. Hardy escapes the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker before hammering away. This is right after Wrestlemania XXV so Undertaker’s neck is still messed up after botching the Taker Dive. Undertaker shrugs it off and nails even more right hands to put Matt in the ropes. A chokeslam off the apron is countered with a jawbreaker to give Hardy two.
Off to a front facelock on Undertaker but the big man casually gets to his feet. That’s fine with Matt as he jumps onto Undertaker to crank on the facelock even more. Undertaker shoves him off and scores with a big boot for two. Another big boot and legdrop get two on Matt but Hardy wisely heads outside to avoid another chokeslam attempt. He grabs a chair but just stays on the floor to take the countout. Pretty lame ending.
Rating: C-. Not a bad match but man alive, Matt won’t job to THE UNDERTAKER? I know Matt is a rising star at this point but I don’t think losing to one of the biggest legends on the roster is going to kill his push all that badly. The match was nothing too bad but the ending brings it down a good bit.
Post match Jeff Hardy runs out and throws Matt back inside for a chokeslam.
Clips from Wrestlemania.
Christian vs. Finlay
The winner gets an ECW Title shot at Backlash and this is the final of some competition called the Elimination Chase. Finlay has Horny with him. Christian gets taken down but fights out of the armbar and gets two off his sunset flip out of the corner. Finlay takes him down with a chinlock which goes about as well as the armbar. Back up and Christian hits a top rope cross body, only to have Finlay roll through for two more. A tornado DDT gets two on the Irishman and the Killswitch connects for the pin out of NOWHERE.
Rating: D+. This felt like it went home five minutes earlier than they expected. The ending came out of nowhere and it really felt awkward. Christian winning makes sense but this really did need another few minutes to flesh things out. Also Hornswoggle was shouting from ringside but he couldn’t talk in the future. Makes WWE sense.
They shake hands post match.
Shane McMahon (interviewed by Eve Torres) is ready to get revenge on Legacy for what Randy Orton has done to his family.
Cody Rhodes vs. Shane McMahon
Feeling out process to start until Shane takes over with some quick left hands. Cody fights out of an armbar and bails to the floor as Shane looks like he’s gone fifteen minutes already. Back in and Cody gets his arm cranked on even more, sending him back outside again. This time though Shane goes out the other way and gets a running start off the steps to take Rhodes down with a clothesline.
Shane whips him ribs first into the barricade before we head back inside where Rhodes is just fine. A big right hand knocks Shane back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a very weak looking chinlock followed by some knees and elbows to the rubs. We hit the reverse chinlock but Shane stands up and drives Cody into the buckle. A middle rope bulldog gets two on Shane but he fights out of a superplex. Cody dropkicks him out of the air for two as this is going WAY longer than it should. Shane gets sent to the floor but he comes back up with a chair to the ribs for the DQ.
Rating: D-. This was LONG. The match got fourteen minutes and Shane wasn’t exactly the kind of a guy that you want trying to do something like this. It’s not much better when you have Cody Rhodes in there before he’s capable of carrying a match. This McMahons vs. Ortons story just kept going and people stopped caring way before this show. Much like the feud, the match was just more long and uninteresting than bad, which is worse a lot of the time.
Shane hits Coast to Coast to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Well what the heck was this supposed to be? I mean we have Undertaker (UNDERTAKER!) winning via countout, Christian vs. Finlay, as in the one match that could have gone on for awhile, getting less than five minutes, and Shane McMahon getting fifteen? This was a huge mess and a good microcosm of the disaster that WWE was at this point.
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Smackdown – May 16, 2014: The Importance Of Minions
Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2014
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re back in WCW country now but the interesting thing is the lack of a healthy WWE Champion. Daniel Bryan has been forced out of action by neck surgery, meaning we’re likely to have the title vacated in the near future. Other than that we’re still focused on the Shield vs. Evolution which will likely get a lot of TV time tonight, along with Cena vs. Wyatt. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Daniel Bryan announcing his neck surgery from Monday. He promises he’ll be back.
Here’s Cena to get things going. We get a quick video of Bray Wyatt mentioning a last man standing match on Raw. First up though, Cena wishes Daniel Bryan the best and hopes he gets back soon. That brings Cena around to Bray, who he knows can’t want a last man standing match. Bray doesn’t have the heart to get into a match where there are no rules and you have to beat your opponent so senseless that they can’t answer the count of ten. Cena has been in those kind of matches before and knows what they’re like.
Bray is a far more intelligent person than that because he doesn’t have any of the dozen words Cena uses for testicles. Cena accepts the challenge for a last man standing match at Payback. However that leaves us with nothing to do tonight, so Cena thinks we should have a fight. He makes an open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family and Bray gets to make the pick. Cena bets that Bray won’t pick himself but here’s Wyatt to answer.
Bray says Cena doesn’t know him as well as he thinks he does. Wyatt walks with monsters and sings with spirits while Cena’s world begs on its knees for mercy. Now comes the end of the story. Whoever shall be the last man standing will conquer all, but whoever loses will be trapped in the prison of his own thoughts. Cena can make all the jokes he wants but Bray wants to thank him. John has opened Bray’s mind and shown him the key to all of Bray’s problems. His cure will take the air from Cena’s lungs. The challenge for tonight is accepted.
Bolieve!
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos
Non-title. Goldust and Jey get us going with the Uso being run over by a shoulder block and taking an atomic drop. Some armdrags take Goldust down as Cole tells us about Cody celebrating about his win over Sandow on Raw. Speaking of Cody he comes in off a missile dropkick and cranks on a hammerlock. It’s not good enough to prevent a tag though as Jimmy comes in and works on an armbar of his own.
The champions start their fast tags to stay on Cody with a double elbow drop for two. Cody fights over and tags in Goldie for some elbows of his own. Rhodes low bridges Jey to the floor to take over in a rather heelish move. We take a break and come back with Cody whipping Jey into the corner for another near fall. Goldust sends Jey’s weakened arm into the post and gets two off a powerslam.
Back to Rhodes who stays on the arm but gets caught by a shot to the ribs. Goldust saves the hot tag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Jimmy to come in. The Samoan drop and running Umaga attack are good for two on Rhodes. Everything breaks down with Goldust and Jey fighting to the floor. The Disaster Kick lays Jimmy out but Jey makes the save. Jimmy comes back with the superkick and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 8:20 shown of 10:50.
Rating: C. Basic but well done match here with both teams looking fine. This was much more interesting than watching Cody have a two minute singles match that goes nowhere for the same purpose. It could also play up the idea of Cody not being able to do anything with Goldust around and wanting to do everything on his own.
Cody is upset post match and leaves on his own.
El Torito vs. Heath Slater
Slater holds up a cape for no apparent reason and gets gored from behind. Heath slams him down and kicks Torito around with his boot before posing a bit. Torito tries to fight back but Slater holds him back with one hand. Horny tries to come in but hits Slater by mistake, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 2:18.
We recap Shield vs. Evolution on Monday.
Natalya vs. Nikki Bella
Eva Marie is guest referee for no apparent reason. Natalya takes her down to start and we get a nice bridge up into an attempted backslide. A discus lariat gets two on Nikki but she comes back with a kind of facebuster for two. Natalya comes back with a surfboard but Nikki rolls backwards into a cradle for the pin at 2:30. Again they were there for how they looked in their outfits, but this was WAY better than Raw.
Dolph Ziggler is in the back and says that Batista is the weak link of Evolution. He can’t just come back and be the star that he once was. Tonight the Show Off is going to show Batista up.
Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler
Feeling out process to start with Ziggler actually knocking Batista out to the floor. Big Dave pulls him out as well and sends Dolph hard into the steps. Back in and Dolph is whipped into the corner before a suplex gets two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds, followed by a wicked spinebuster to put Ziggler down. Ziggler punches out of the Batista Bomb and comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Batista misses a charge into the post and Dolph hammers away until Batista hits him low for the DQ at 4:32.
Rating: C-. These guys have always had good chemistry together, even back when Dolph was first starting out in the WWE. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it’s nice to see Ziggler hanging in there with Batista. I really wouldn’t mind seeing these guys get a nice long match someday which isn’t something I’d think I’d say about Batista.
Batista lays out Ziggler post match, powerbombing him onto the barricade.
Titus O’Neil vs. Sheamus
Non-title and fallout from a few weeks ago when Titus jumped Sheamus before a match, only to get beaten in about 40 seconds. Before the match this time, Titus says Sheamus didn’t even pin anyone for the title. He shouldn’t be US Champion because he’s not from the United States. On top of that, everyone in the company is tough, including Titus. He gives Sheamus a chance to get out of the ring before the match. Bell, Brogue Kick, Sheamus laughs, pin at 15 seconds. According to a live report, Titus called Sheamus “hot mayonnaise white”, which must have been edited out.
Byron Saxton tries to interview Adam Rose but Adam is more interested in a cheeseburger. He has no issue with Jackie Swagger, even though he finds Zeb and Jack boring. A big lemon comes out of the bus and Byron declares himself a Rosebud. Someone puts a clown wig on Saxton’s head and he starts dancing.
Bolieve!
Santino Marella vs. Damien Sandow
This is the result of Sandow’s open challenge. Sandow hammers away to start but misses a charge into the corner, gets caught with the Cobra and pinned in 40 seconds.
Post match Sandow goes on a rant about what a great soldier he is and how the fans love it when the smart guy loses. However someone keeps leaving the mic on, which cues the mic guy to cut the sound. This might go somewhere if Sandow ever got to say anything.
Video of Cena at the Susan G. Komen rally in Washington DC.
R-Truth vs. Cesaro
Truth is a North Carolina boy so the fans are even more into him. Before the match we get the usual schtick from Heyman, this time focusing on the truth of Brock Lesnar conquering the Streak, and Cesaro winning the Andre battle royal being what’s up. Cesaro jumps Truth during WHAT’S UP but Truth does his backflip into the side kick for two. The ax kick misses though and it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer for the pin at 1:15.
The Raw ReBound talks about Bryan being attacked after his announcement of requiring neck surgery. The update says Bryan’s surgery was a success. Another update will be coming on Monday, along with an announcement on the future of the title.
It’s time for the main event and all three Wyatts surround Cena. This brings out the Usos to even things up as we take a break.
John Cena vs. ???
Bray selects Erick Rowan to do the dirty work tonight. Rowan takes it right to Cena in the corner before slamming him down in the middle of the ring. John fights back with right hands but runs into a back elbow to the jaw. Cena is thrown to the floor and then into the steps, right in front of Wyatt. Back in and Erick does the two fist head vice before throwing him right back to the floor.
John gets back in and Rowan runs him over again before we hit the bearhug. A modified Boss Man Slam gets two on Cena but he fights back with the ProtoBomb and Shuffle. Cena dives into a fall away slam followed by a splash in the corner. Not that it matters as Cena grabs the STF, drawing in Harper. Jey easily takes him out though and a dive to the floor drops Harper again. Rowan busts out a claw slam of all things for two, only to walk into the AA for the pin at 8:23.
Rating: C. That’s the beauty of minions for Wyatt. On top of that it was a decent power match with Rowan continuing to look fine. He and Harper have a future as a tag team and likely will get the shot against the Usos at Payback. It’ll be a solid power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Overall Rating: C-. This was another meaningless Smackdown but there are far worse ways to spend a Friday night. Like reading through all the people running off at the mouth about the stock falling. The short matches worked in a way as I didn’t have time to get annoyed or bored with a lot of the lame acts. Some story progression took place, but everything is kind of in limbo due to the impending announcement about the title and the European tour.
Results
Usos b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
El Torito b. Heath Slater – Moonsault press
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Dolph Ziggler b. Batista via DQ when Batista hit him low
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella b. Damien Sandow – Cobra
Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer
John Cena b. Erick Rowan – Attitude Adjustment
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Smackdown – March 14, 2014: When Being Big Isn’t Enough
Smackdown Date: March 14, 2014
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
The major matches are now set for Wrestlemania and all we have left is to fill in the roster for the battle royal and get the midcard taken care of. Aside from all of the big stuff from Raw, the other top story we might get some more on tonight is Shield having some issues with Kane, which might lead to Kane embracing his hate and dropping the corporate character. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We look back at Occupy Raw.
Here’s HHH sans Stephanie to open things up. He’s greated by a YES chant and HHH says that must feel good. Monday was one of the greatest nights of their lives and it must have been one of Daniel Bryan’s best nights ever as well. That was their moment in the sun though and Daniel Bryan isn’t here tonight. He’ll be dealt with on Raw and everything will be ended at Wrestlemania, but tonight he has to deal with the fans.
The people chant NO which tells HHH that they would have jumped in the ring and participated had they been at Raw. However, they traded in all of their happy tomorrows for the end of the YES Movement. HHH has protected Daniel Bryan over the last few months by keeping him away from the deep end of the roster so the people could have hope.
That’s what the YES Movement represents: hope for the people and all of their miserable lives. The fans chant for Bryan, who HHH says is just like each and every one of the people here: good, but just not good enough to succeed. At Wrestlemania he’ll crush those hopes and dreams because there will be no triple threat and more happily ever after. However let’s get to business tonight, so get out here Damien Sandow. HHH cuts him off before the apology can get started. Sandow gets a match against an opponent picked by Vickie Guerrero.
Damien Sandow vs. Seth Rollins
This is joined in progress after a break with Seth in full control. Sandow gets in a few shots and Rollins heads outside for a second. Back in and Seth does his backflip in the corner into the downward spiral into the middle buckle. A running forearm in the corner sets up a dropkick but Sandow gets outside to avoid the top rope Black Out. Shield distracts him so Seth can hit a suicide dive, followed by the Black Out for the pin at 2:27. The announcers spent the match arguing about this being a conspiracy.
Ambrose sends Sandow into the ring again for the first Triple Bomb in months.
We look back at Hogan announcing the battle royal.
Fandango vs. Big E.
Non-title. Before the match Fandango enters the battle royal. Fandango takes over to start but Big E. fights up and hits the belly to belly. The Warrior Splash connects and Big E. runs Fandango over, takes down the strap and Big Endings his way to a win at 1:37. Total squash.
We take a quick look at Heyman and Undertaker’s segment on Raw.
Bad News Barrett says the Streak will end and children will cry. Therefore, parents won’t get any sleep and fall asleep at a meeting and get fired.
Real Americans vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
We recap the Americans’ problems from Monday with Cesaro crushing Jack’s hand. Goldust and Swagger get things going with Goldust scoring off a shoulder and the uppercut. Off to Cody to crank on the arm but Jack drives him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. Cody escapes a belly to back suplex and drops to the mat for an uppercut to the face. A springboard dropkick knocks Swagger off the apron and a backdrop puts Cesaro outside but he catches Cody’s plancha in mid air.
Rhodes is gutwrenched onto the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody firing off some right hands and backdropping Swagger to the floor. Cesaro blocks the tag with the Swing (JBL: “He’s swinging him so much his daddy’s polka dots are dizzy!”) but Swagger’s Vader Bomb hits boots.
Cesaro breaks up another tag attempt but the Real Americans argue over a tag. It’s Cesaro staying in with a vertical suplex right in front of Jack. Swagger tags himself in as Zeb is losing his mind. Jack realizes what’s about to happen and knocks Goldust off the apron, only to get caught in a backslide to give Cody the pin at 7:48.
Rating: C-. That loss is all on Swagger and Cesaro shouldn’t get much of the blame. Seriously, how do you lose to a backslide of all things? The lack of a hot tag was a change of pace from the usual formula and it’s kind of nice to see. The pin was a surprise as I’m so used to waiting on the big hot sequence and it was nice to not know what was coming.
The Real Americans destroy Cody post match until the Usos make the save.
We recap Bray vs. Cena from Raw and Wyatt accepting the challenge.
Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi Kingston
Bray’s eyes bug out at the bell and Kofi gets in a right hand, making Wyatt smile. He sits in the corner and shouts at Kingston before grabbing him by the leg and shoving him down. Kofi grabs Bray’s leg and spin kicks Wyatt out to the floor. Back in and Kofi hammers away but Wyatt shoves him down with ease. Kofi comes back with a springboard shot to the head but Bray just throws him over the ropes and out to the floor. A backsplash gets two on Kingston and Bray just runs him over with a clothesline. Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 3:54.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t much to see but Bray’s eyes and power stuff looked good. There’s something so off about him that it’s hard not to watch him every time he’s out there. Kofi is a good sacrificial lamb for Bray or anyone for that matter as he’s going to be the same guy no matter what happens to him.
Kane tells Shield to be at ringside for the main event but they say they don’t listen to him. They’ll be out there because it’s best for business.
Nikki Bella vs. Tamina Snuka
AJ sits in on commentary as Tamina takes Nikki down by the hair. Nikki is sent to the floor and holds her knee, prompting some amusing fake concern from the champ. Back in and Nikki gets slammed down but still avoids the Superfly Splash. AJ tries to figure out who the #1 contender is as Tamina kicks Nikki’s head off for two. Tamina gets bored with Nikki and throws Brie into the barricade for fun. It doesn’t pay off though as Nikki hits the Rack for the pin at 3:13.
Rating: D. Divas, regular match, Nikki’s turn for a push. Next.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio is in the battle royal as well, saying it’s the only thing he has left to win. Ziggler quickly knocks Alberto outside before tossing him right back in for the ten elbows. Del Rio avoids a charge in the corner and double stomps him to the mat and we go to a break. Back with Ziggler (Dolph Showoff according to Cole) hammering away in the corner and getting two off a neckbreaker.
Alberto catches a charging Ziggler in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but the low superkick misses, setting up the jumping DDT from Ziggler. Now the low superkick connects for a close two but Ziggler countered the armbreaker. Ziggler ducks the running enziguri in the corner and hits the Fameasser for an even closer two. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and caught in the reverse superplex for two. The armbreaker is countered again but this time into the Zig Zag to give Dolph the pin at 6:03 shown of 9:33.
Rating: B-. This was pretty much just the ending sequence to a main event match after cutting off all the buildup. I could get used to this idea in matches that don’t mean anything such as this. Del Rio and Ziggler are another of those combinations where they’re fought so many times that I just don’t care to see them ever again. This was entertaining though.
Dolph enters the battle royal and says it will be his Wrestlemania moment.
The next inductee into the Hall of Fame is Carlos Colon.
WWE Network tutorial.
It’s Wyatts time. Luke says everything has been forgotten and the lie has become the truth. Bray says he never sleeps but is always dreaming, and lately his dreams have been of John Cena. They’ll be sharing a war in New Orleans but off in the distance there’s a woman’s voice. Bray can’t understand it but the closer he gets the clearer it becomes. The voice is saying she loves him and how proud she is of Bray. Now he sees Cena for what he’ll become. Eventually he’ll be a lonely old man full of regret. Cena shouldn’t worry about a thing because he’ll make it quick. Follow the buzzards.
Kane vs. Big Show
Shield is nowhere in sight. Kane whips Show across the ring but Show does the same to him as Shield comes to ringside. A headbutt drops Kane and a chop sends him to the floor, right in front of the Shield. Back in and Kane avoids a knee drop and gets two off a low dropkick. We hit a leg lock on the bigger monster but Big Show counters out with pure leg strength.
Back up and Kane gets two off a running DDT but Show breaks the chokeslam attempt. Show runs him over with a spear but rolls to the floor to glare at Shield. He goes up but gets chokeslammed off the top for two. Shield gets on the apron and Kane orders them to attack but Shield bails and Kane walks into a bad looking chokeslam (thankfully the camera hid it) for the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D. These guys just are not fun to watch. WWE has this theory that you can put these two against each other and it’s going to be entertaining because they’re both big and strong. They’ve fought several dozen times over the years and I don’t remember any of them being anything better than watchable.
Reigns spears Kane to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. There were some decent matches tonight but a lot of them were just quick ones that didn’t really add anything. It was nice to see some stuff actually happen here, such as the battle royal growing and the Hall of Fame announcement, but there still wasn’t much of interest to this show. You have to expect that once Wrestlemania is made though.
Sheamus vs. Heath Slater was taped but not aired. That appears to be a thing they’re doing on Smackdown anymore. The spoilers indicate it’s presented as part of the taping and not a dark match. Sheamus won via Brogue Kick in about five minutes.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Damien Sandow – Black Out
Big E. b. Fandango – Big Ending
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans – Backslide to Swagger
Bray Wyatt b. Kofi Kingston – Sister Abigail
Nikki Bella b. Tamina Snuka – Rack
Dolph Ziggler b. Alberto Del Rio – Zig Zag
Big Show b. Kane – Chokeslam
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Wrestler of the Day – March 3: Justin Gabriel
We’re heading to Africa today for Justin Gabriel.
Justin got his start in South Africa for a promotion called World Wrestling Professionals. I’m not sure what’s going on here but it’s a match between PJ Black (Gabriel) and Mikey Whiplash (not Whipwreck).
PJ Black vs. Mikey Whiplash
Black sounds like a heel here and says Whiplash cost him a match last week so it’s time to settle things. The fans chant for Black as he lists off more nicknames than Apollo Creed. Whiplash has one of the worst physiques I’ve ever seen. He isn’t overweight or anything but he looks like he hasn’t been to a gym in years. Mikey bails to the corner to start and complains about PJ’s boots.
Whiplash finally takes him down by the leg but Black counters into a headlock. The female announcer keeps changing from English to some other language and it’s getting annoying. Black cranks on the wrist but Mikey takes the leg again and pulls it down to the mat. We take a break and come back with Mikey slapping Black in the face. Apparently this show is being held in the basement of the Dome of Doom. That’s quite the location.
Black takes him down to the mat but Mikey hammers him with forearms. A legsweep gets two for PJ and he takes Mikey down into a very modified cross armbreaker. Whiplash fights up and sends him into the corner before dropping an elbow for two. Some forearms set up a camel clutch on Black before changing it over to some hard elbows to the jaw.
PJ rolls over Mikey’s back and scores with a pair of spin kicks and a nice dropkick. A top rope Lionsault gets two for PJ and a Blue Thunder Bomb gets the same with the fans getting into these near falls. The 450 connects as well but Whiplash somehow kicks out again. Mikey grabs a backslide and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: D+. There was a huge difference between the two guys here with Black looking like someone with a lot of potential and Mikey looking like a guy that reached his peak here in a bad match. He came off like someone who just didn’t have any upside to him and nothing about him stands out at all. This was a situation where Black just needed a better opponent.
It was soon off to WWE and Florida Championship Wrestling where PJ Black would go by Justin Angel and win the FCW Title. This is a rematch against Heath Slater from November 21, 2009.
FCW Title: Heath Slater vs. Justin Angel
The idea here is that Slater lost the title to Angel in the final seconds of a 2/3 falls match and has had to wait thirty days to get a rematch. Angel armdrags him down and dances a bit, which seems to be a thing for him. A shoulder drops Slater again and it’s right back to the armbar.
Back up and Angel is sent to the apron where Slater dropkicks his knee out, sending the champion face first into the apron. Slater hammers away on the floor and bends Angel’s arm around the barricade. Back from a break with Angel armdragging Slater down for two. Slater takes him right back down and works over the arm until Angel comes back with a jawbreaker.
Not that it matters as Slater starts cranking on the arm again. Justin comes back with a discus forearm and a splash in the corner followed by a cross body for two. Slater drops him face first on the buckle and gets two off Sweetness (Zig Zag). Justin avoids a charge in the corner and hits a quick 450 to retain.
Rating: C. Nice match here but Slater continues to not really impress me in the ring. At the end of the day he’s pretty generic but he was at least better than Whiplash. The ending came out of nowhere here and it hurt things a bit as well, but it’s still a more entertaining match due to the atmosphere and better training that these guys have received.
Soon after this it was off to NXT as Justin Gabriel was one of the first batch of rookies on the premiere season of NXT. Justin would face Wade Barrett on the third episode of the first season.
Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel
Speed vs…..whatever Barrett is here. Jericho yells at the announcers that Barrett is showing Jericho’s influence. Barrett wears his jacket over his shoulders because in case he needs to get in a fight he needs his arms free. Cole explains the differences between all of Barrett’s flowers. The first meant he was sorry for beating his opponent later tonight and the second was for the love of his winner’s check.
USA chant and Matthews points out how stupid it is. Cole thinks maybe it’s for Matt. If you’re cheering for the manager, what does that really say about your match? Barrett dominating for the most part here as we’re running out of time. Jericho shouts to the announcers about how he’s working the back because JERICHO works the back. Jericho really is stealing the show here which is the point I guess. And then Gabriel shoves him off the top and hits the 450 for the win. I think that was all the offense Gabriel had.
Rating: D+. Again not much at all here with Barrett dominating but Gabriel winning off his one move at the time. This wasn’t much at all and while it was ok for the most part, the ending kind of made you say that’s it. This could have used another two minutes or so to flesh it out but it wasn’t horrible. Barrett looked good.
After the season ended, Gabriel and the rest of the first season cast would become the Nexus. They would immediately feud with John Cena, including facing him in a seven on one match on July 12, 2010, with me being lucky enough to watch live.
Nexus vs. John Cena
In a weird moment before this there was an ad for Rise and Fall of WCW and Russo got incredible heat. Weird. Cena got more boos than earlier but it was maybe 25% at the very most. The heels have to tag here and the no Raw guys can help. Cena gives Cole his dog tags which is a bit strange. Tarver starts off and Cena shows some psychology by taking the guys to the opposite corner. That makes perfect sense which is always a good thing.
He just mows people down one at a time which makes sense too. The thing about Nexus is it’s the gang mentality rather than the individual nature. In the original NWO any of the three were legit threats. Here there’s just arguably one guy, Barrett, who is a big threat. Together though they’re deadly, which is a nice twist on the idea. They hit the floor and huddle before Slater gets a cheap shot in to take over.
The finishers start up and Slater hits three straight belly to back suplexes on him which is stupid looking. Cena fights back a bit but the numbers get to him. He gets Barrett in an FU but Sheffield takes him down. The 450 ends it clean which is exactly how it should have been. There is absolutely no way you can have Cena win here and they realized that. The Nexus surrounds him afterwards but he gets a shot in and hits the floor, getting a chair.
They surround him but make one fatal mistake: they forget to hold the mayo. Here’s Sheamus with chair in hand, and the heels run for cover, ending the show. Post show, Edge and Orton came out for a tag match. Cena stayed down for like 5 minutes off a punch (turned out he was getting cleaned up from a cut) so it was 2-1. He came in at the end and cleaned house, hitting an FU on Sheamus for the pin while Orton got an RKO on Edge. Orton posed and we were done.
Rating: B. This is how you have a match like this. Cena looks human and the Nexus looks strong. There was no way you could make Cena win here and have it be believable so they didn’t try to force it which is a good thing. This worked very well and I liked it quite well. It sets up an aura of mystery for the PPV which is the best thing you can do. Well done and a good ending to the show.
Nexus would stick around for several months and Gabriel would pick up a Tag Title with Heath Slater when David Otunga and John Cena laid down to give them the belts. They held the belts for months, even past the end of the Nexus. The two would join a new group called The Corre, leading to February 25, 2011 on Raw and a title defense against The Miz and John Cena.
Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel
According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason. Miz vs. Slater to start us off. All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members. Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop. Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part. There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12. What the heck? Uh…ok then. No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.
Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now. An E-Mail says ring the bell. The match starts post break.
Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel
Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel. Cena comes in as does Slater. Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz. The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel. Slater gets two on Miz. Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere. It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face. Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.
Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo. He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save. Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock. The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.
Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top. He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag. Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now. Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU. Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin to regain the titles at 12:00!
Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well. I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did. This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two. Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well. Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.
The Corre would break up without much fanfare and Justin would becomre little more than a high spot guy. This talent earned him a spot in the Smackdown Money in the Bank ladder match at Money in the Bank 2011.
Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan
This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things. I’m really not sure who to predict in this. I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else. Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them. Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.
The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain. Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already. Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit. Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already. Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed. Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center. Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.
Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald. Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down. Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one. Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline. Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same. Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.
Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one. He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down. Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring. Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter. They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.
Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post. For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus. Not a good night for the Mexican dude. Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him. BIG pop for Sheamus for that one. Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.
Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder. Scratch that as all three go to the floor. Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now. The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership. Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher. Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in. Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.
The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead. Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later. Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down. Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder. Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.
There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save. Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time. Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan. Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now. Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think. The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.
Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people. Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe. Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder. That would be awesome. Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him. Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.
Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves. Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing. Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top. That was cool. Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb. Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.
Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it. Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT. Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him. Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him. He goes onto it but doesn’t break it. FREAKING OW MAN! Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible. That was AWESOME.
Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down. Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot. Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit. Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge. Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE! Totally didn’t see that one coming.
Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing. He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end. The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot. I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened. GREAT match though.
Gabriel would continue to be the guy who put on good matches when given the chance, including this one from Superstars on March 15, 2012.
Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico
Hunico keeps up the tradition of saying something in Spanish and then saying it again in English. Hunico uses a nice wristlock to start and flips around a bit. They fight for control over the arm and Gabriel gets a backslide for two. Hunico bails to the floor and things slow down a bit. Back in and things speed up again which Striker says favors Gabriel. I’m not sure about that but Gabriel hits a monkey flip and sends Hunico back to the floor.
In a cool move, Gabriel does something like a 619 as he swings his legs into the ring and then back out to kick Hunico in the chest. Hunico rams Justin’s back into the apron and we take a break. Back with Hunico holding a chinlock which is quickly broken. Justin tries a sunset flip but Hunico rolls through and hits a Tajiri style kick to the head. Out to the floor and Camacho gets in a shot to keep Justin down.
Back to the chinlock and then Hunico goes up. Striker makes a Super Calo reference for some reason as Hunico jumps into a dropkick. Gabriel slugs away and hits another dropkick to knock Hunico to the floor. Justin hits a springboard plancha to take out both guys in a cool spot. Springboard missile dropkick to the back gets two.
Hunico comes back with a Saito Suplex for two. Gabriel comes back but his tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. A second attempt at the DDT works and both guys are down. Gabriel sets for the 450 but has to get rid of Camacho first so Hunico crotches him. A Death Valley Driver off the middle rope gets the pin for Hunico at at 11:58.
Rating: B-. This was entertaining and longer than most matches you’ll see anymore. Gabriel is a guy that they have something solid (not great but solid) with but if he’s never going to get out of Superstars and NXT, that doesn’t mean anything. Hunico is better than I expected him to be as well but he needs to get out of the generic Mexican dude gimmick. This was a good back and forth match but it never quite got to a great level.
Another good match was on Superstars from August 23, 2012.
Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes
This is a rematch from a few weeks ago where Cody won. There’s actually a story here: Justin showed up with a chick and Cody hit on her, setting up the first match. See how easy that is? Both guys feel each other out to start and it turns into a contest of showing each other up. Gabriel gets a rollup for two which Cody takes offense to. They trade some HARD slaps and Gabriel takes Cody down and into a freaky arm trap hold.
Cody gets sent to the floor but he moves before Justin can dive. Unfortunately he moves into position for another dive from Gabriel as we take a break. Back with Gabriel hitting what looked like a dropkick for two. Gabriel goes to the apron but gets his arm snapped across the top rope to give Cody control. He bends Gabriel’s arm over the apron before hitting a gordbuster for two. Cody cranks on the arm a bit more and gets two off an uppercut.
Back to more work on the arm, this time in the form of a hammerlock. Justin starts a quick comeback but misses a top rope Lionsault to give Cody control again. Off to a short arm scissors but Gabriel gets off his back to break the hold. A monkey flip puts Cody down as does a spinning kick to the face. Justin hits a kind of sitout powerbomb for two but a slam is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody out of nowhere. Nice counter.
Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here with a sweet counter to end things. Gabriel is good in this kind of a role: the guy who isn’t going to win a major match anytime soon but he’s got enough speed and ability to keep things interesting. For a main event on Superstars, this was fine.
These matches earned him a US Title shot at Hell in a Cell 2012.
US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel
Since we only had three announced matches left and it’s ten after 9, they had to add another match or two. Antonio says something in what sounds like German or Swiss before the match. Cesaro is defending and they’ve traded wins on Raw lately to set this up. Cesaro takes it to the mat as soon as the bell rings before cranking on the arm a bit. Gabriel counters a hip toss and monkey flips Cesaro down.
Justin goes up top but the champ knocks him off to the floor. Back in and a legdrop gets two for Cesaro and he pounds away with some rough looking shots to the head. An uppercut to the back of Gabriel’s head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of Justin. Cesaro puts him face down on the top rope and hits a running knee to the ribs. A double stomp gets another two on Gabriel and it’s back to the arm. The crowd is pretty dead for this so far.
Gabriel comes back and takes Cesaro down for a quick top rope Lionsault for two. Cesaro takes Justin’s head off with a clothesline for two. The champ pounds away in the corner but Gabriel comes out with a spinning DDT for two. Gabriel tries the 450 but rolls through when Cesaro moves. Cesaro goes to the floor so Justin hits a dropkick through the ropes for two. He heads back in but dives into the uppercut to knock Gabriel silly. Back in and the Neutralizer retains the title at 7:35.
Rating: C. I know there wasn’t much here, but having Cesaro run through the entire lower card is a fine way to keep him on TV without having him face guys he’s not ready to beat yet. It’s also a good way to make him look like more than he really is, which is something Cesaro needs. Imagine that: using jobbers to the stars to push someone higher up the card. It’s so crazy that it just might work.
We’ll wrap it up with a match from Main Event on May 15, 2013.
Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel
Cody chops away to start but gets suplexed down in a nice counter. Rhodes comes right back with a swinging neckbreaker but Justin hops up and fires off some kicks. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Gabriel and the top rope Lionsault gets the same. Cody can’t hit a quick Cross Rhodes attempt and gets countered into a small package for two. The Alabama Slam gets the same for Cody before Cross Rhodes is enough to give him the pin.
Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just happening so Cody could get in an argument with Miz on commentary before their match at Extreme Rules. Gabriel looked decent but again it shows that he isn’t much if he’s not flying through the air. The kicks weren’t bad though.
Overall Justin comes off as a one note guy but they’re some very sweet notes when he gets the chance to play them. That 450 of his is a thing of beauty and he’s pinned some very big names with it. I could see him having a nice run with a midcard title, but at this point he’s lost in a very deep roster and there’s not much he can do to get out of that.
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Smackdown – February 21, 2014: Sheamus 101
Smackdown Date: February 21, 2014
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and everything is set for Sunday. Monday ended with a huge brawl between the twelve people in the two biggest matches on Sunday which is a good way to end a show. The main event for tonight is Sheamus vs. Christian after Christian turned heel on Monday. Let’s get to it.
No In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr. Even TNA had one of those. Maybe on Sunday.
Opening sequence.
Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger
Bryan is nursing a bad shoulder after Christian and Kane attacked him on Raw. Jack goes after the shoulder to start but Bryan takes him to the mat and grabs a headlock. Two running dropkicks in the corner send Swagger to the floor but he catches Bryan charging off the apron and drops him onto the barricade. The bad shoulder goes into the barricade and post as Jack is being much more aggressive tonight.
Swagger stays on the arm by wrapping it around the ropes and driving in knees before slamming him down on the shoulder. Another slam gets two and Jack takes him to the top for what looks to be a northern lights superplex onto the arm. It’s nice to see someone mixing up their offense on a limb like that. Bryan slips down before Swagger can through him though and the running knee connects out of nowhere for the pin at 4:48. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.
Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted, but this is the kind of booking that makes me shake my head. We’re supposed to buy Swagger, known as losing more often than he wins, as a challenger for a title on Sunday so why would you have him lose clean in less than five minutes? Obviously you can’t put him over Bryan, so WHY PUT THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Have Jack beat up Sin Cara or Ziggler or Miz or have Cesaro come in for the DQ before Bryan can cover. Just don’t have Swagger get pinned this soon before a title shot.
Post match Vickie Guerrero comes out and makes Bryan vs. Cesaro because she’s a heel now after acting like a face with Colter last week.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro
Cesaro goes right after the arm to start by taking Bryan into the corner and driving knees into the shoulder. Daniel comes back with some kicks but a single shot to the shoulder puts him right back down. Cesaro takes him into the middle of the ring and cranks on the arm even more before slamming it down onto the mat. Again, it’s much better to mix up the offense than to use the same move over and over again. Keep it fresh.
Bryan fights up and goes to the middle rope but dives into a shoulder breaker for two. We hit the armbar as Cole thinks Bryan should just give up now and save himself for Sunday. Daniel is able to knock Cesaro to the floor and hit the FLYING GOAT but a Colter distraction lets Cesaro kick the bad shoulder. Jack gets caught with a chair and gets ejected for his efforts. Colter gets the same and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro pummeling Bryan in the corner with Kane at ringside. Cesaro loads up a superplex, making sure to bend Bryan’s arm as slowly as possible, but Daniel headbutts him down and scores with a missile dropkick. The YES Kicks give Daniel a breather but the big one is countered into the Swing. Back in and Cesaro throws Bryan into the air for Swiss Death which might have hit the shoulder. Another running uppercut in the corner has Bryan reeling but he comes out with a running knee to knock Cesaro silly, only to draw in Kane for the DQ at 10:20 shown of 13:20.
Rating: C+. This ending works much better as Bryan was in trouble but Cesaro still could have kicked out due to Bryan not being able to cover immediately. The arm work here was good and they still have an out to keep the title off Bryan on Sunday, or a way to have him overcome the odds and shock the world. I’m still hoping we get Kane vs. Bryan on a big Raw before Wrestlemania and HHH vs. Bryan at the PPV if he doesn’t get in the title match.
Kane announces the result like he did on Monday. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Bryan to blow off some steam.
Christian talks about being more aggressive because he knows his window to be champion again is closing. The last few weeks haven’t been going the way he’d hoped and he had to figure it out before the Chamber. These people at home stuffing their faces aren’t going to help him so he had to do it himself.
Bella Twins video on how to use the Network.
We look at The Shield and Wyatts nearly colliding on Monday before brawling to end the show. I’d take Bray vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania right now.
The Wyatts come out for their match. Bray says there isn’t much left to say now. The Shield are just three dominoes in a line and then the rest shall fall. They want people to believe in them but how can that happen when they’re crawling on their hands and knees, looking up at the eater of worlds? Follow the buzzards.
Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio
Harper and Rey get things going with the big man tossing Rey around, only to have Rhodes come in off a blind tag. A running clothesline gets two on Luke and it’s off to Rowan vs. Goldust with the painted one taking over. Goldust ducks a right hand in the corner and fires off some punches of his own, only to get caught in a fallaway slam. Bray himself comes in for a hard clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Harper Gator Rolling Goldust before putting on a headlock. Goldust fights up and hits a quick sunset bomb but Luke rolls through before a count. The hot tag brings in Cody with a springboard missile dropkick and the moonsault press for two. The fans aren’t getting all that fires up by this match. Rey comes in off another blind tag as Harper is sent to the floor. Back in and Harper counters the 619 with a big boot to give Bray a two count.
Rowan comes back in for a bearhug and a big side slam for two. Luke gets another tag and hammers on Rey for a few seconds before it’s back to Bray for the running splash in the corner. Rey counters a second one with a drop toehold and it’s off to Goldust to speed things up a bit.
A spinebuster puts Rowan down and the spinning cross body does the same. Rey comes in with a 619 to set up a Goldust powerslam for two. Harper catches Rey diving over the ropes and slams him into the barricade as Bray makes a blind tag. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams to Erick but Wyatt runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:52.
Rating: B-. This was the usual six man tag between the Wyatts and any group of three midcard guys, meaning it was entertaining but nothing we haven’t seen before. The Family is getting better in the ring and there’s something awesome about Bray just throwing his body into people like a battering ram.
We recap Sheamus accidentally kicking Christian last week.
Sheamus says he’s partially responsible for Christian’s new side. Christian is aggressive now and that’s what Sheamus wants. Tonight’s Brogue Kick won’t be an accident. Another simple but to the point promo from Sheamus which is better than his Irish folk tale nonsense.
Time for a dance off between Summer Rae and Emma. Quick summary of the next five minutes: Emma wins, the fans still don’t care, Summer calls Fandango her baby boopsie, Santino and Fandango brawl and no one cares.
Ron Simmons Black History Month video.
Alexander Rusev will achieve greatness.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O’Neil
Darren Young is on commentary. Dolph scores with an early dropkick but gets thrown down to the mat with ease. Titus cranks on the arm but gets caught by a cross body and right hands. Some more punches in the corner have Titus in trouble but he comes back with a big boot. Darren gets on the announcers’ table and blows the whistle for a distraction so Dolph can get a rollup pin at 2:40.
Road Dogg vs. Jimmy Uso
Dog gets taken into the corner to start but comes back with some kicks to the rib and one to the side of the head. We hit a quick chinlock on Jimmy but he comes back with a Samoan drop. A right hand misses and Dogg fires off his shaky punches but Jimmy escapes the pumphandle and superkicks Roadie for the pin at 3:03.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up the Tag Title shot on Sunday. There’s still no reason to keep the titles on the Outlaws, which is why I’d almost bet they hold onto them until at least Extreme Rules, probably getting a win at Wrestlemania in a multi team tag match. Nothing to see here though the Usos can wrestle singles matches decently enough.
Video on the Chamber.
Sheamus vs. Christian
Sheamus shoves him around to start and an elbow sends Christian out to the apron. Back in and Christian punches Sheamus in the face which brings a smile to the Irishman’s face. Christian low bridges a charging Sheamus to the floor but misses a baseball slide and walks into the rolling fireman’s carry on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock but getting sent into 619 position. Christian tries his jump over the top rope into a right hand but Sheamus blocks the punch and shoves him into the barricade. Sheamus charges at him but gets backdropped to the timekeeper’s area to change control. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two for Christian and he goes after the surgically repaired shoulder.
The arm is wrapped around the ropes and Sheamus bites the ropes to get through the pain. More cranking on the arm ensues but Christian escapes the Killswitch. Some right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he’s still able to slam Christian off the top. The running ax handles and a powerslam get two on Christian but he comes back with a tornado DDT on the arm for two.
Christian tries to snap Sheamus’ neck against the ropes but gets countered into the ten forearms, only to send Sheamus shoulder first into the post for two. Sheamus comes back with a pair of Irish Curses but Christian bails to the floor to avoid the Brogue. Back in and Christian slams Sheamus off the top to take over. The middle rope back elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Sheamus counters into White Noise for the pin at 12:48 shown of 15:48.
Rating: B-. This was Sheamus 101: a nice match where he beats an upper midcarder to set up a match against main eventers that he has no chance of winning. He’s the main event jobber and there’s nothing wrong with that role. The fans are into his act too, even if there’s nothing deep to him. Nice main event but it showed the problem with Christian as a heel. He barely ever won a big match as a face and his finisher isn’t optimal given how long it takes to set up
Sheamus poses but Christian shoves him off the top and to the floor to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Good way to go into the Chamber here as Sheamus gets some spotlight of his own instead of sharing it like he’s done since he returned. The Chamber card looks pretty good but I’m worried about the end results and how they’re going to shape up Wrestlemania. I could have gone for a Shield promo but it’s still a good way to set up Sunday.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – Running knee
Daniel Bryan b. Cesaro via DQ when Kane interfered
Wyatt Family b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Goldust
Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Jimmy Uso b. Road Dogg – Superkick
Sheamus b. Christian – White Noise
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More In Depth Thoughts on Raw – February 3, 2014
Last night’s show was polarizing to say the least. I’ve seen people calling it a classic to a decent show to the worst show in a long time. As usual I found myself right in the middle. We’ll start with the beginning of course.
First and foremost, the crowd was chanting for CM Punk throughout the night. Here’s the thing that people keep forgetting: Punk walked out on the company and the fans. In a word, he quit. Punk wasn’t being held back by the company, he wasn’t being misused and he wasn’t some kind of a martyr. He quit a job that he wasn’t happy at anymore and that’s all there was to it. The fans chanting for him comes off as more anti-WWE than pro-Punk, but that’s not what it should be.
This brings me to the Authority, who interrupted Orton while he was fighting the Punk chants. To clarify, HHH didn’t want Bryan to be champion but now that Orton has done everything HHH wants, HHH doesn’t want Orton as champion either and keeps setting up new hoops for Randy to jump through. Then he’s all pro-Bryan even though nothing seems to have changed between the two of them. Whether he’s acting like one or not, HHH is supposed to be a heel but isn’t acting like one at all. Last week was great when he was acting like a corporate jerk to Bryan but being the same to Orton is just confusing.
Next up was the further murdering of the midcard title scene. JBL mentioned that Ambrose never defends his US Title and Langston loses the fall. Big E. suddenly has nothing to do at all after spending weeks fighting off a challenger of the month for the title which was as basic of a story as you can get but it worked fine. Now both champions are making the titles look more and more worthless despite being strong to start. In other words, they’re the same as every midcard champion has been for years.
Shield vs. Wyatts is going to be amazing. I don’t think I need to go any further than that.
I don’t get the deal with Lawler interrupting Bad News Barrett. I don’t think they’re building to a match between the two of them, but Barrett needs ANYTHING to do right now and Jerry Lawler isn’t going to make things better for him. He was a good character when he was pointing out how bad stuff was, but saying stuff like “eating junk food is bad for you” isn’t going to get anyone to care about him.
Swagger losing is little more than another losing streak angle that they’ve used a dozen times before. Stop with the same ideas over and over again and come up with some actual stories for the split. Say Swagger is in love with a foreign chick or have Sin Cara help him so Swagger realizes Colter is wrong or something so people can actually RELATE TO HIM instead of just making him look pathetic and going for pity.
Betty White as the guest host is just…..there. She’ll make some people chuckle, she’ll interact with some comedy guys, she’ll make fun of low level heels, and then she’ll leave and will be mentioned once more in about a year or so and people will say “Oh yeah. She was on Raw once.” Seriously, that’s it.
Now on to the biggest disaster of the night: that cage match. This was just horrible for a few reasons. First and foremost, the Outlaws just aren’t any good in the ring and I have no idea why people would expect them to be. Do you remember the Outlaws in the 90s? They were the Honky Tonk Man of the division, winning by cheating in ways that no one had even invented yet and stealing the belts from every team that deserved them until the fans found their antics funny and turned them face as a result.
Now they’re beating a good team clean because people remember them as awesome and think that means they used to be good in the ring. It doesn’t help that they’re playing to the crowd and can do that as well as any team in history so the fans are always going to cheer for them, making Cody and Goldust, as in the team that has worked harder than anyone to get over, look like afterthoughts as we set up their singles feud (which no one wants to see) through ANOTHER losing streak angle.
In other words, we’re pushing nostalgia as faces (nothing wrong with that) at the expense of good faces (a lot wrong with that). Have the Outlaws doing this stuff to 3MB or the Real Americans or ANY heel team and the act is much more fun and logical than anything else. Instead it’s hurting Goldust and Cody to make a team with an average age of 47 years old and who are only out there on a nostalgia run. On top of that, their matches have SUCKED and Road Dogg nearly let Cody kill himself by not taking a step to the left to catch him. Oh and why can Road Dogg swear during the in-ring entrances but not the song opening?
Moving on to the next match we have Titus O’Neil as a monster heel which I really dig. The guy was the best thing not named the Usos about the dying days of the original NXT and I’d love to see him pushed as something that matters. The Clash of the Titus is a great power move and looks awesome when used.
During that same match we had Miz come out and complain that he couldn’t get on the show while a guy that makes internet championships and a guy who barks like a dog get TV time. Word on the street is that he’s being paired with Ziggler (check out the promo from the App on Smackdown to see more. We’ll be back to Dolph later) as two disgruntled performers who want to be higher on the card. Sounds like they’re parodying/mocking Punk to me but maybe not.
What I liked here though was Miz felt spontaneous. How many times have you seen a match end and we cut to the back where two people just happen to be standing in front of a camera so it can catch their conversation, which clearly hasn’t started until the match ended? That kind of thing drives me insane because it looks SO scripted. Miz coming out during a match made it feel like he had to get this off his chest and didn’t flag down a cameraman and demand time so it could be aired after the match. It happened right then and there, making it feel more realistic. I miss that so much anymore.
This brings us to the dance off with Summer Rae and Emma. They did this same bit in NXT which worked better there because of one simple reason: the fans know who Emma is. This is the same reason why Diamond Dallas Page never got over in the WWF. See, down in NXT it’s a much more close knit atmosphere. The fans feel like they’re a part of the show and they’ve embraced Emma and want their people to be the little engines that can and show they can be just as good as WWE (same as ECW when you think about it).
Well WWE fans have no idea who Emma is for the most part. She’s just some chick that dances in the crowd and holds up a sign that says EMMALUTION while Cole says “Oh she’s from NXT”, which a lot of fans have no idea exists. The people didn’t care about Emma because they have no reason to care about Emma. She’s just some chick that has been at Raw for the last month and apparently dances a lot. Why should I care about that unless I watch NXT?
Next up was Sheamus not squashing Curtis Axel in seven minutes. Sheamus is in the world title match at the next PPV and took seven minutes to beat a jobber to the stars. That’s not acceptable.
Batista was up next but thankfully was cut off by Alberto Del Rio. Why are these two fighting? Because Del Rio thinks Batista doesn’t deserve that title shot. Not that Del Rio wants the title shot for himself or anything, because that would just be a stupid thing to add to the match. It might actually intrigue people or something and we wouldn’t want that.
The Wyatts squashed the dancers and Ziggler to further make my head hurt. The announcers acknowledged the promo Ziggler cut and then he goes out and gets destroyed in five minutes like nothing has changed at all. This is what I’m talking about when I say the writers don’t remember anything that happened five minutes ago. Have Dolph be frustrated or try extra hard or SOMETHING, but don’t have him say one thing then do another and expect us to care about him. Or maybe you could, I don’t know, SHOW US THE PROMO instead of just hyping the App. You show us stuff from it every week but not that?
There was a Divas match between Naomi and Aksana which was just embarrassing. Near the end Naomi caught Aksana in a head scissors position out of the corner but didn’t take Aksana down. Instead she just wiggled her hips in the air and let go. From a kayfabe perspective, what does that accomplish? How does that help Naomi win the match? It makes her look like she doesn’t take this seriously, so why should I take her as a serious challenger to AJ?
Last up was the main event, which made things even worse. First of all let me clarify: the match was very entertaining, but the story made no sense. Kane interfered at the end, presumably sent by the Authority (unless the Authority complains about him interfering later, we have no reason to assume they disagree with what he did) to help Orton win. Why would they come out and help Orton win if they seemingly had no problem with Bryan beating him?
Again, the Authority tries to play both sides without ever playing heels ON CAMERA. Their interference is implied here, but whenever they’re on screen they’ll be talking down to Orton like he’s a child (imagine someone saying that to Rock, Austin, Hogan, or any other champion. The reaction alone would turn them face but instead Orton just nods and accepts it because the Authority is all powerful and cannot be questioned) and say Orton has to regain their trust before starting this cycle all over again.
To put it into one sentence, the Authority storyline makes no sense. What do they want? Orton as face of the company? Fine, but if they want him as face of the company, why constantly move the goal posts on him? You do that to people you hate, not people you want to be the top guy. Vince did it to Austin and Bischoff did it to WCW when he ran the NWO. And why is HHH backing Bryan after spending months telling him he was worthless? The Authority is Johnny Ace without the goofy charisma and that’s not a good thing at all.
A few other notes here:
Were there any backstage segments last night? There weren’t a ton on Smackdown that I remember and now there were none last night. I rather like that idea as there are usually WAY too many and they drag the show down. One or two is fine but keep those things quick and have them mean something.
No Cena due to the eye injury which is all you can ask for. He ran in for the post show beatdown of Orton and Kane but I’d assume his eye was too messed up to be seen on camera. That’s the right idea as you need him healthy for Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania, not a Raw in early February.
Overall I thought Raw was good last night, but this Authority nonsense has been going on WAY too long. The Authority is fine as a heel idea, but have them be HEELS, not people who treat everyone like garbage. It makes your heels look weak and keeps fans from caring about seeing them get beaten up. A double standard is a heel tactic, but when you use it on another heel, it just confuses people.
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Smackdown – January 24, 2014: The Show They’ve Needed For Weeks
Smackdown Date: January 24, 2014
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
It’s the go home show for the Rumble and not a lot changed this past week on Raw. Batista is back and apparently people are still interested in him, meaning I can’t imagine anyone else taking the Rumble at this point. Since it’s Friday, I’m guessing we’ll be getting a big tag match to close out the week. Let’s get to it.
We open with an in memory of George Scott graphic. Always nice to see.
Opening sequence actually opens us up.
The main event tonight is a ten man tag with the Usos/Rhodes Brothers/Langston vs. Shield/New Age Outlaws.
The Real Americans are in the ring to start with Colter ranting about Big Show attacking him. Unfortunately his voice is better now and not as awesome as it was last week. We get a clip from two weeks ago of Big Show knocking Colter out cold which set up tonight’s tag match with Show/Mysterio vs. the Real Americans. Colter doesn’t think Mysterio is his real name either. Speaking of names, Colter comes up with various names for Big Show/Mysterio: the Border Jumping Buddies, Tacos Supremos Hold the Salsa and El Gordito and the Jumping Bean.
Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio
Swagger charges at Big Show to start and is easily thrown down. Some forearms to the back send Jack running to the corner for a tag off to Cesaro who is thrown around as well. Show puts his foot on Cesaro’s face and lifts him up by the arm for a kind of reverse curb stomp. Cesaro is tossed out to the floor and Mysterio takes him down with a seated senton off the apron. A kick to the face drops Swagger and we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a chinlock on Mysterio until Rey fights up and gets two off a rollup.
Antonio doesn’t like being covered so he Swings Mysterio around for a few seconds. Off to Swagger who counters catches a middle rope hurricanrana in midair, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Cesaro comes back in but the Real Americans get caught in a double DDT, allowing for the hot tag to Big Show. The monster hiptosses both Americans with ONE ARM. That’s very cool looking, even if both of them helped with the throw. A 619 sets up the WMD and the splash off Big Show’s shoulders for the pin on Cesaro at 8:52.
Rating: C-. The match was formula stuff but it made Big Show look good going into the showdown on Sunday. Mysterio was just kind of there but it’s good to see him in the ring instead of on the injured list all the time. He’s nowhere near what he used to be but at his age and with his knees held together with glue, it’s about as good as you can expect.
Heyman comes out post match and tells Big Show to enjoy his health while he can, because there will be nothing to celebrate on Sunday. Big Show did throw Lesnar around on Monday, but it’s only made Brock want to hurt Big Show even more. Lesnar will be WWE Champion after dealing with the giant.
The Miz vs. Brodus Clay
Before the match, Wade Barrett’s podium rises up and he informs us that while the ten man tag will be awesome tonight, this is going to be one of the worst matches in WWE history. He starts the MIZ IS AWFUL chant and bangs his gavel in place of the five clap sequence. That’s really not something you should say on your programming, even for a Miz match. Miz jumps Barrett while the crowd takes up the chant. Barrett keeps taking jabs at the match, calling it one of the worst things he’s ever seen and thinking the crowd wants milk and cookies. He asks Clay to dance and the distraction lets Miz hits a DDT for the pin at 1:22.
Miz goes up to the podium but Barrett laughs down at him.
Rumble By The Numbers promo.
AJ Lee vs. Cameron
Non-title. AJ quickly takes her down but charges into a boot in the corner. Cameron stops to dance a bit before dropping a leg for two. A baseball slide puts Naomi down but she walks into a Shining Wizard for the pin at 1:32.
Post match Tamina goes after Cameron but Naomi makes the save and lays AJ out with a Bubba Bomb.
Raw ReBound shows Batista returning and laying out Alberto.
Shield says twenty seven other men are going to enter the Royal Rumble as hungry dogs. Those other people can pretend they’re going to have a chance but it’s just wishful thinking. All of the other men are casualties and Reigns says he’ll win.
Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Los Matadores
JBL thinks El Torito is a descendant of Mr. Ed. Ryback slams Diego down for an early two before Axel comes in to ram Diego into the corner. A nice running dropkick keeps Diego in trouble, causing Josh to say Torito has a look of concern on his face. JBL: “HE’S A BULL!” Back to Ryback who toys with Diego even more before jumping off the middle rope into a pair of boots. Axel can’t break up the hot tag attempt and Fernando comes in to clean house. A double arm DDT gets two on Axel but Ryback makes the save and throws Diego to the floor. Fernando throws Ryback out, only to get rolled up by Axel for the pin at 3:20.
Rating: C-. I believe that’s Los Matadores’ first loss, but thankfully they stayed undefeated for so long because they haven’t been on TV all that much. They’re just not an interesting team at all and I can’t picture them lasting much longer without being relegated to Superstars. It’s nice to see Axel get a pin as well.
Post match Torito IMMEDIATELY sends Axel to the floor and dives on him Ryback so the fans won’t have their spirits crushed or something.
Here’s Punk to address Kane making him #1 in the Rumble. We get a clip of Punk calling Kane a suck up last week, earning himself a chokeslam as well as a clip from Raw of Kane apologizing and getting knocked to the floor. Punk talks about the Authority’s lapdog making him the #1 entrant in the Rumble to stack the deck against him. That’s what he expected from HHH and Stephanie but it just motivates him to become WWE Champion again.
He’s done a lot in the WWE but the one glaring omission is winning the Rumble. Now that he’s #1 it might be the toughest match he’s ever competed in, but that’s what you have to expect if you call yourself the best in the world. On Sunday he’s going to punch the lion in the face and do everything he can to be the last man standing.
This brings out Kane who says that Punk has a .000000186 chance of winning, or one in five hundred million. Maybe his odds are a little better because he’s best in the world though. Punk says never tell him the odds and that it’s sad to see what has happened to the Devil’s Favorite Demon. Is he the Authority’s Favorite Statistician now? Punk isn’t worried because the #1 entrant has won before and he’s been the best since day one.
We recap Bryan vs. Wyatt who have a match on Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that showdown.
Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players
Harper pounds on Young in the corner to start before kicking his head off with a big boot. Off to Rowan who takes off the mask to reveal that hideous face of his. Harper loads up a whip to send Rowan into the corner but instead Rowan whips Harper into the other corner to take out Titus. The discus lariat ends Young at 1:05 in a total squash.
Darren gets Sister Abigail post match and Bray says he’ll change the world. You can hear some Bo Dallas in his voice as he speaks, only to have Daniel Bryan cut him off. Bryan says listen to these people because they don’t fear fate, the reapers or burning with the saints. On Sunday, Daniel will no longer be trapped in Bray’s madness, but Bray will be trapped in Daniel’s prison. He’ll find out who the real monster is as the fans chant YES.
Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston
During the entrances we get an inset interview from Kofi who says that he’s done some amazing things to stay in the Rumble, but this Sunday he’s going to perform his greatest feat of all: win the Royal Rumble and go on to headline Wrestlemania. Simple, to the point, ties into his character’s history. I’d love these sort of promos to be more common.
A shoulder block puts Kofi down and Fandango gyrates a bit. Back up and Kofi throws him over the top and out to the corner (nice touch) and we get an Emma sighting. Fandango rams him into the apron to take over and something resembling a Pele gets two on Kofi back inside. Kingston pops back up and sends Fandango into the ropes for Trouble in Paradise and the pin at 2:57. Just a match.
Rumble By The Numbers Part II.
Long recap of Cena vs. Orton.
New Age Outlaws/Shield vs. Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big E. Langston
Jimmy and Rollins get things going with Seth stomping him down in the corner. They run the ropes a few times until Jimmy stops to dance and grab an arm. Ambrose comes in and has his arm worked on for a few minutes before a right hand gets two. Langston gets the tag and charges into Ambrose’s ribs in the corner before hitting a series of backbreakers to keep Dean in trouble. Dean gets a boot up in the corner and tags in Reigns for a big running clothesline.
Big E. gets triple teamed for a bit but just powers Shield off and makes the tag to Cody. Things speed up a bit with a springboard missile dropkick and the Disaster Kick but Gunn comes in for a shot from behind to take over. We take a break and come back with Cody sunset flipping Rollins for two before Seth takes him down again. Gunn gets the tag and drops a knee for two. The heels continue their tagging with Reigns hammering on his back and holding him in place with a cravate.
Dean comes back in with a spinning belly to back suplex for two but Cody fights out of a belly to back superplex and hits the moonsault press on the now legal Reigns. Goldust gets the hot tag to clean house and even hits a top rope hurricanrana to blow everyone’s minds. A powerslam gets two on Road Dogg and here’s Langston for the Big Ending on Rollins but Roman makes the save with a spear.
Jey superkicks Reigns down and Jimmy adds the Superfly Splash but throws Dean to the floor instead of covering. The Usos load up the stereo dives but Billy cuts off Jimmy and takes him down with the Fameasser. Cody comes back in for the Disaster Kick but Roadie takes him down with the pumphandle slam, only to have Goldust grab a rollup but Shield makes a save as the match is thrown out at 13:20.
Rating: B-. This was an old formula tag match but the very hot finish helped it out a lot. I’m a sucker for the parade of finishers to set up the ending and when you have ten guys it’s quite a long parade. The DQ ending is a smart move here as you don’t want anyone doing a job going into the Rumble or a title match.
Everybody gets in and we get the traditional huge brawl with everyone else announced for the Rumble (other than Batista of course) coming to join in the fight. CM Punk comes out to a BIG pop to get in on the brawl as the show goes off the air.
Overall Rating: B. This is the show they’ve been needing to have since the beginning of the year. Tonight was about the Rumble match itself with people wanting to go to Wrestlemania, which is the whole point of the show this Sunday. The other matches got some nice build as well and for once I’m excited for the entire show. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be about good matches or the in ring action and it wasn’t the focus. Good episode tonight which did its job.
Results
Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Cesaro
The Miz b. Wade Barrett – DDT
AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard
Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Los Matadores – Rollup to Fernando
Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to Young
Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise
Usos/Big E. Langston/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield/New Age Outlaws via DQ when all three members of Shield came into the ring
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Smackdown – January 17, 2014: Punk’s Career Suicide
Smackdown Date: January 17, 2014
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz
The main story coming off Raw is of course Daniel Bryan turning on the Wyatts to a huge reaction. I thought Bryan was going to leave them eventually though this was faster than I was expecting. Other than that, the road to the Rumble started to pick up on Monday as people names were added to the match to make it give it far more star power than it had before. Tonight we should get a few more names added to the match as the show is in nine days. Let’s get to it.
New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
Non-title. Cole recaps the turn on Raw and says he doesn’t get the suprise at the Outlaws’ treachery. For once, he’s absolutely right. Roadie does the intro and the PG issues get a bit muddled. Why can’t Road Dogg swear on the way to the ring but can when he’s introducing Billy? Goldust and Road Dogg get things going with Roadie suckering Goldust in for some shaky punches. Goldust takes him into the corner for some right hands of his own followed by a back elbow to the jaw.
Billy comes in but is backdropped out to the floor, allowing for a tag off to Cody. Why Goldust is exhausted already is beyond me as he was barely touched. He powerslams Roadie down and tags in his brother to a nice pop. Cody cleans house on Gunn but has to deal with Road Dogg as well. A double springboard missile dropkick puts the Outlaws down for two as everything breaks down.
Goldust and Roadie go to the floor as Cody avoids the Fameasser but has Cross Rhodes countered as well. Billy gets two off a tilt-a-whirl slam but still can’t hit the Fameasser. There’s the Disaster Kick….and Vickie Guerrero interrupts. She reminds us that the Royal Rumble is every man for himself, including brother vs. brother. The distraction lets Billy roll up Cody for the pin at 4:43.
Rating: C-. Goldust’s cardiovascular issues aside, this wasn’t bad until the stupid ending. It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the stupid corporate stuff on Impact but now I have to put up with it on Smackdown as well. I’d love to sit down with the creative team and show them some old matches so they can see other ways heels can cheat to win a match. What do I have to do to get a cover with feet on the ropes around here?
CM Punk says he’s going to call out all three members of the Shield. Literally that’s that entire interview.
Here’s Paul Heyman to brag about how amazing Lesnar is, focusing on destroying Mark Henry. After that though, Lesnar was attacked by Big Show who implied he could take Brock out. Heyman admits that Big Show is intimidating but he’ll fall to Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.
Heyman talks about going through wars with Lesnar at his side, meaning he has to fear no evil. Big Show may hurt Zeb Colter, but he won’t won’t hurt Heyman to get to Brock, including on Raw when Lesnar appears live. Big Show comes out and Heyman is in the crowd before Big Show is all the way in the ring. Big Show shows us a clip from Raw where Show threw Lesnar around, followed by Big Show promising to knock Lesnar out.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
Before the match Rey talks about Del Rio being afraid of Batista, sending Del Rio into a frenzy to start. He wraps Rey’s arm around the rope but gets sent outside for Rey’s sliding splash under the bottom rope. Back in and Del Rio crotches Rey down to tie him up in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
JBL talks about George Washington for some reason as Rey rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for two. The corner enziguri brings Rey down from the top again but Del Rio can’t pin him. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for two of his own but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm. The armbreaker is countered into the 619 but the top rope splash hits knees. Del Rio loads up the low superkicks but Rey counters into a rollup for the pin at 8:25.
Rating: C+. This took time to get going but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have chemistry together.
Post match Del Rio jumps Mysterio and puts him in the cross armbreaker.
Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka
Fallout from Tamina hitting AJ with the Rear View on Monday. Emma is in the audience doing her dance again. Miz reads a statement from Maryse congraulating AJ on breaking her record for longest reigning Divas Champion. Naomi jumps Tamina to start but is easily knocked down and backdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Naomi comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a modified bulldog. A Bubba Bomb puts Tamina down but the referee is looking at Cameron and AJ. Tamina uses the distraction to kick Tamina in the head and hit a split legged moonsault for the pin at 2:35.
Video on Mae Young. These are always saddening yet cool at the same time. If there has ever been a woman more willing to do anything to entertain a crowd, I’d love to see her.
Video of Bryan turning on Bray Wyatt Monday to a huge reaction.
Here’s Bray without his hat in person with something to say. I love that you can’t see Harper and Rowan until the lights come on even though they’re right next to Bray. He talks about wanting to be powerful like his father as a child. Bray did his best to appease him and be just like him but it was never good enough. His father was never there for him and never entrusted Bray with his kingdom.
Instead he cast Bray out amidst the sheep, forcing him to walk the earth alone. But then Sister Abigail saved him by singing the sweetest songs Bray had ever heard. Bray became obsessed with her beauty and power, but Abigail told him that Bray would be betrayed again on his path to righteousness.
Monday was the moment that Abigail was talking about, when Bray knew he had to sacrifice himself to be resurrected into the creature he was born to be. You can’t hurt him because he’s already dead and he does not bleed like we do. Daniel Bryan was given a chance to walk with the reapers but now he will be forced to walk with the saints. More creepy stuff here as Bray’s backstory is slowly filled in.
Punk is going to call out the New Age Outlaws in addition to the Shield. If that’s career suicide, consider it a gift to the Authority.
Big E. Langston vs. Fandango
Non-title as well. Langston hits a quick backbreaker to start and Fandango bails to the floor. Back in and the dancer pounds away with right hands but Langston runs him over with a shoulder block. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Big E. to the outside before pulling Langston’s shoulder into the post. Langston is thrown back inside and we hit the armbar for a few moments as the match slows down. Big E. easily powers Fandango to the floor as JBL and Miz argue over who was a bigger star. Fandango is suplexed down, setting up the Warrior Splash, the running Vader Attack and the Big Ending for the win at 4:16.
Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but Big E. getting clean wins on TV is the right idea for him. Fandango got in some offense here instead of just being the sandwich that Langston had for supper tonight. He’s not going to be a big deal for a long time but it’s better than getting squashed.
Shield thinks it’s the other 27 people in the Rumble that need to be worried instead of the three of them. Ambrose says he wouldn’t throw Rollins out but Rollins says Dean couldn’t do it anyway. Rollins would throw Ambrose out, leading to an argument between the two. Reigns cuts them off and says he’ll throw both of them out and go to Wrestlemania, but they’ll still be a united Shield.
Ultimate Warrior Hall of Fame video.
Video on the WWE Network.
We look back at Kofi shocking Orton on Monday, leading to Orton attacking Cena’s dad. HHH has promised to deal with Orton internally.
Real Americans vs. Usos
Colter is in a wheelchair to sell the attack on Monday. Cesaro and Swagger do the hand over the heart but Zeb rolls down the ramp without them holding him in place. Before the match, Colter, with his voice muffled by the neck brace, says he wants Lesnar to destroy Big Show at the Rumble before asking the fans do say WE THE PEOPLE. Jimmy has bad ribs and Jey has a bad shoulder due to the cage match on Monday.
Swagger throws Jey around to start and the injuries take their tole immediately. Off to Cesaro for some shoulders to the ribs before Swagger comes back in with knees to the midsection as well. Jack launches Cesaro into a splash in the corner and Antonio follows up with rights and lefts to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Jimmy in the Cesaro Swing which still gets a nice reaction, months after it was at its peak. Jimmy fights off the dizziness and kicks the Real Americans in the face and stomach, finally allowing the hot tag to Jey. The running Umaga attack gets two on Jack and a Samoan drop gets the same.
Cesaro is knocked to the floor but Jey gets caught in the Patriot Lock. Jimmy superkicks Swagger for the save before chasing Antonio to the floor. Cesaro hides behind Colter’s wheelchair before missing a charge into the barricade. Jimmy shoves the wheelchair into Cesaro for a big crash as Jey hits an electric chair drop on Swagger. Jey drops the Superfly Splash for the pin at 9:16.
Rating: C. The idea was fine here with the Real Americans working on the injuries but we’ve seen these teams fight so many times now that it’s hard to care anymore. Colter is so good on the mic but he needs someone better than these two losers to get anywhere. Swagger is in such desperate need of repackaging it’s unreal.
Here’s Punk for the big call out to end the show. Punk says he’s out here because he’s not a coward like the Authority. He doesn’t need an army of people to fight his battles for him, but maybe he’s insane. Yeah he might get slaughtered by Shield and the Outlaws so why not also call out the In Laws, the Ultimate Warrior, the Dingo Warrior and the Road Warriors?
The thing is, people listen to him when he talks and that’s real power. Punk talks about HHH abusing his power to satisfy his own agenda while hiding behind his wife. Shield’s music cuts Punk off before he can get too far into that though, which is a nice touch if it was intentional. The Outlaws come out before Shield can get to the ring and Punk is surrounded.
Punk holds up the microphone as his weapon but Kane’s pyro goes off and he orders everyone to stand down. He gets in the ring and says the Authority doesn’t want it this way. Punk’s anger is displaced and his paranoia is getting the better of him. The Authority wants Punk to main event Wrestlemania, which is why they entered him in the Rumble.
In fact, Kane’s new top directive is to treat Punk with the respect that he deserves. Punk looks confused as Kane leaves so he asks if he has Kane’s word. Kane nods but Punk doesn’t buy it because Kane is a seven foot suck up. Kane says get him before catching a distracted Punk in a chokeslam to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This is another show that didn’t need to exist. The wrestling wasn’t bad, the promos weren’t bad and the ending advanced very little, but the show isn’t actively bad. That’s the best way to describe Smackdown as a whole: not much happens, but it’s better than having your face carved up with a branding iron. In a way though that’s the worst kind of show as it’s not bad enough to make fun of but it’s not good enough to be worth seeing either. In a word, Smackdown exists and that’s all there is to say about it.
Results
New Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Naomi b. Tamina Snuka – Split legged moonsault
Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending
Usos b. Real Americans – Superfly Splash to Swagger
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