Shawn Michaels: Hits From The Heartbreak Kid
Host: Shawn Michaels
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Todd Pettingill, Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

More or less this is Becca’s Christmas present and as you can see, it’s a two hour comp tape of Shawn Michaels matches, I think from around 92-94. Some of these are peats so I’ll just be cutting and pasting. Shawn is indeed one of the best ever and this chronicles his early years. I’m not sure how well it’s going to do that but we’ll see. I doubt it’s up to par with From the Vault or My Journey but it should be good. Let’s get to it.

Merry Christmas Becca.

Shawn is in a hotel and wants to know how the camera knew where to find him. “Oh a chick is running the camera. No wonder she knew how to find me.” He’s in room 645 apparently. He’s going to host it and we’re going to start with this.

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Could these two be more joined at the hip? Shawn has the fake IC Title with him and also has Diesel so this would be late 93 or early 94. Apparently we’re in Fayetteville, North Carolina which I can’t find any record of. Bret gives away the Bret glasses and the girl SCREAMS HER HEAD OFF. That was a demon child if there has ever been one but she was in a Bret shirt and had a Bret figure so how do you pick someone else?

Stan Lane is really good on commentary. They start out fast paced but Bret rams his shoulder/arm into the turnbuckle. You don’t have to tell Bret to go after an injury twice so we hit the armbar. Bret grabs a sleeper but Shawn rams him into the corner as this is a rather fast paced match. Shawn hits the chinlock as Bret is in trouble to a degree.

Bret blocks a dropkick and gets a slingshot to send Shawn’s head into the post. Gorilla yells at Bret a few times for lazy covers. Shawn counters an O’Connor Roll to send him to the floor where Diesel posts him. Back in and Shawn sets for a Piledriver and Owen runs in for the DQ to give the match to Shawn.

Rating: C-. Not much as this only went about six minutes so it’s not like we could get anywhere. These two are always worth seeing together though as there’s a natural chemistry there and it helps a lot that both guys are masters inside the ring. This was a short match but it was decent while it lasted.

Tag Titles: Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Razor Ramon/1-2-3 Kid

Who thought it was a good idea to make Todd Pettingill a commentator? He’s Michael Cole but FAR more annoying to those unfamiliar. Razor is IC Champion and the Two Dudes With Attitude are champions here. That would put this sometime between August 28, 1994 and November 23, 1994. Well at least we have an idea when this is happening.

The champions are rammed together as Kid kicks Shawn’s head off. Razor’s Edge hits Shawn 40 seconds in but Diesel made the save. I didn’t expect it to hit that fast. Razor fights both guys while Kid just stands in the ring. Nice guy indeed. Todd says Kid is like a Power Ranger. Definitely Kimberly. Shawn blocks a rana with a powerbomb to half kill him. Why couldn’t it be the full thing?

Off to Diesel now as this is flying by. Sunset flip can’t get Diesel over. I guess this is the payback for the whole making Razor fight both guys at once. It’s odd to see a hot tag four minutes into a match. This is on the Action Zone apparently, which was a Sunday morning/afternoon show. Apparently this is October 30, 1994 and the second episode of the show.

Razor sets Shawn for an atomic drop but Shawn gets a tag as he’s in the air to bring in Diesel in a nice move. Shawn sets his feet up (think a Pendulum Kick) to allow Diesel to ram Razor’s head into the boots. Nice one. Razor gets a backslide for two but walks into a dropkick for two. Diesel JUMPS and hits a nice shoulder block for two on Razor.

Part of the idea here is that Razor doesn’t want to put Kid in there against Diesel because he might like die or something like that. The heels exchange abdominal stretches and Razor is in big trouble. We take a break to come back to see more punishment to Razor as apparently he’s been in there the whole time. Shawn tries to counter a hip toss but kind of slips. Chokeslam puts him down long enough to bring in Kid but the referee misses it.

Shawn accidentally kicks Diesel which was a problem that eventually broke them up. THERE’S the hot tag as Diesel is out. Tope con Hilo takes Shawn out and a missile dropkick gets a fast two. Razor is back up and the Shawn beatdown begins as Diesel hasn’t moved yet. I guess he needed a nap after that jump earlier.

Belly to back suplex off the middle rope gets two on Shawn. Rocket Launcher gets two as Shawn is taking a man’s beating here. He tries to wake up Diesel but can’t get him awake. Razor kicks Diesel to the floor but Shawn grabs a sleeper. Diesel has been out cold for about three minutes now. Shouldn’t he get like, medical attention? He starts getting up finally as Kid breaks up the sleeper.

Slingshot sends Shawn into the post head first as Diesel’s hands are on the mat but he can’t get up past that. And here he comes. Kid comes in again and gets a guillotine legdrop for a very long two. Diesel is back up though and Kid is sent into a big boot so that Shawn can simply fall on Kid to retain. Sweet match!

Rating: B+. Counting the commercial this ran about 20 minutes and was solid throughout. Shawn took a BEATING and managed to keep kicking out. There was storytelling, there was action, there was everything you could want here and the whole thing worked very well. I’ve never seen this match before but it was really good and it felt like 5 minutes, not 20. That’s a very good thing.

Shawn is on the phone with some identical twins and says we need to keep the action going. I’ve done this next match already so I’ll be cutting and pasting. It’s from King of the Ring 1993.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Crush

Total filler here as we need something to flesh out the card with. Crush was about to get the biggest push of his career which stopped dead one day but we’ll get to that later. Crush is in BRIGHT orange and yellow and purple. Maybe that’s why he didn’t get the big push.

Shawn has his famous music here as well as some monster named Diesel with him. This is his television debut as the Crush loving begins. We talk about who could slam Yokozuna which would become one of the most awesome moments in wrestling history. Shawn won the title 6 days prior to this (nice job having a house show on Raw night) so this is his first major defense.

Savage has a man crush on Crush. Shawn uses his speed here and snaps off a nice jab which looked good but didn’t ever do much. Kind of like Crush in a sense. He hits a pair of nice leap frogs and avoids Sweet Chin Music and is just showing off here. Heenan: “Remember a friend in need is a pest.”

Almost nothing but power from Crush here which is the best thing he can do here. Diesel saves Shawn when he’s in big trouble. Apparently Crush is the total package. Well if Luger isn’t using that gimmick why not Crush? Is that even a gimmick? Outside Diesel sends Crush into the post for Shawn to take over.

In a dangerous spot, Shawn slams the back of Crush’s head into the post. That isn’t something I’d expect to see again ever which is a good thing. Shawn, the genius that he is, won’t let the referee count Crush out when he would have easily gotten it. Double axe hits Crush and Savage can’t believe his man love is in trouble.

Every time Crush does something Savage decides that it means he can slam Yokozuna. I get that he’s supposed to push towards future angles but this is ridiculous. We start the final part here as Crush begins dominating. And here is an army of Doinks. Ok make that a pair. This angle just went on and on to no end. Shawn hits Chin Music to the back of Crush’s head to end it. He chases the clowns away.

Rating: C-. The hype for Crush begins, but for some reason it never finished. Even here they’re building up Crush as a possible world title contender. He certainly had the look and power, but again they never pulled the trigger. Shawn was just kind of waiting around on something to do. That would come soon enough.

The next match is another I’ve done before, from Summerslam 93.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the blowoff of the feud that had been built up……….4 months ago. The buildup for this match was nothing short of a masterpiece but by the time they got to the match the interest was pretty much long gone. I’ve never figured out why they waited but I’d assume an injury or something like that. Either way it was a bad idea for waiting so long as it could have been the hottest feud in the business at the time.

Anyway, this is your main midcard match of the show. Perfect, even probably past his prime, still just rocks on all levels. We get a plug for Radio WWF out of nowhere which was one of the oddest ideas I’ve ever heard of. Ross and Monsoon would call the show on the radio. Heenan apparently gets hit in the eye by something and isn’t happy about it. Very fast sequence to start and it of course ends in a botch as I have no idea who did what or what they were going for but it looked absolutely horrid.

Anyway, they go into a standard sequence as they jockey for position and Heenan talks about how Diesel will be the big factor here. This referee counts WAY too fast. If he had worked for WCW they would have won the wars. After they go to the floor, Shawn lands a stiff thrust kick to Perfect’s chin. That kick was so sweet that it was almost like music. Shawn continues his perfect streak of being too loud about calling spots which gets annoying after awhile but is part of the business.

I’m kind of skipping over a lot but a good match makes me do that. There’s little to complain about here which makes it hard to come up with jokes. Perfect hits a move that I always thought would be insanely hard to pull off: a running dropkick. That just looks hard to do and makes Perfect look even better. The ending to this is just flat out bad. Perfect gets the Perfectplex but Diesel pulls him outside and they start fighting in what could have been a very interesting feud.

Anyway, Shawn jumps at Perfect but he gets punched for his efforts. Shawn rolls in and lands on the referee, breaking up the count, but after Diesel rams Perfect’s shoulder/head area into the post, the referee continues his count and we get a count out. That was either a botch or running out of time, either way it didn’t work.

If you want to do the screwjob finish then let Diesel interfere and let Shawn get the pin but don’t just go with the count out. Post match Perfect gets the double beatdown and Shawn says he’s the greatest IC Champion.

Rating: B-. This was a very fun albeit short match. This really could have been something good with more time and a finish. That being said it was far from bad with one pretty bad botch that was at least in the beginning of the match. It just was too short and I hated the ending though.

Back in Shawn’s hotel and he has his shirt off while laying on his bed and there’s a mirror above him. Fast forwarding time I believe. Oh and his jeans are unbuttoned.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bob Backlund

Well this should be…..different. Who thought this was a good idea for a match anyway? I’m not saying it’ll be bad, but this is just REALLY odd for a choice. This is on a Sunday apparently, according to Ross yet they have the Raw set. Taping I guess. It’s before Summerslam 93 as they’re talking about Shawn vs. Perfect at that show and are hyping it up, even though we just had it on the tape which is an odd choice.

Backlund is the old guy trying to make a comeback here rather than the crazy heel. Who would have believed that Diesel would beat Backlund to win the world title in just over a year? Shawn stalls and is rather arrogant to start as you would expect. Ross says it seems like he thinks Backlund is beneath him or something. Bob gets a long slam and a backslide for two. Shawn isn’t sure what to do. I’d recommend a haircut and some plastic surgery.

After a break we’re back with Shawn hammering on Backlund and this is on the Summerslam Spectacular. That clears up some stuff. Double axe off the top puts Backlund down for no cover though. Long front facelock sequence gets us nowhere other than Backlund showing he’s strong again. Bob slaps him and gets a nice dropkick and a neckbreaker for two.

Atomic drop by Bob gets no count as Diesel distracts the referee. That was Backlund’s finisher back in the day as I guess it was just a much different time. Not much special going on here at all as Shawn grabs a rollup and the tights for the cheap ending to a pretty weak match.

Rating: D. Oh MAN this was boring. It was only about five minutes long but Backlund was carrying this somehow. Shawn didn’t care and they even talked about it on commentary. Pretty much a nothing match which was just to set up the Summerslam title match without actually doing much about it. Boring match and it was nothing of note at all.

Intercontinental Title: Kamala vs. Shawn Michaels

This is during KAMALA IS A MAN phase where Slick tried to humanize him a bit and it was just painfully bad. There was a tape where the theme of it was Kamala, in wrestling gear mind you, learns to bowl. It’s as bad as it sounds. This is from Raw in late June/early July of 93. Clearly the world was BEGGING for this showdown. June 28 apparently.

Shawn isn’t sure what to do here. Bobby talks about taxes and Vince FREAKS about Bobby not having many taxes based on what he made last year. Holy unintentional shoot Vinceman! Kamala is moving out here as he gets Shawn to back up and try to hide. Shawn avoids a chop as we talk about the Slam Yokozuna thing which was rather awesome in the payoff for it.

Kamala gets a bearhug for a LONG two. Kamala uses basic stuff to attack Shawn but a running knee eats buckle to give Shawn the advantage that most people expected him to have. He swears at some fan in the audience and Vince isn’t pleased so he plugs something instead. Figure Four is blocked by Kamala so Shawn stomps away some more.

We list off some athletes that won’t slam Yokozuna. We mention Dave Letteman leaving NBC which really dates this show. Here’s Kamala’s comeback as he uses a lot of chops to fight back. Does he think he’s Asian or something? He’s messing up his stereotypes. Kamala hits the splash on Shawn’s back but messes up and tries for a pin with Shawn on his stomach which was a thing he did because he was stupid. Chin Music to the back of the head ends this.

Rating: C-. Not horrible actually if you can believe that. Kamala had a chance out there and they kept it short enough to make sure that the fans didn’t get bored with it and that Kamala didn’t overstay his welcome etc. It’s not a great match or anything really but it’s certainly fine for what it was: a quick TV title defense.

Diesel and Shawn beat down Kamala post match which is apparently the first time Diesel has ever beaten up a WWF guy. Kind of historic I guess.

Back to the hotel and oh Dang it he’s in a heart shaped hot tub.

Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Diesel is the IC Champion here and this is on Raw. Razor has Diesel at the PPV where he would get the title back. This is probably August of 93. VERY nice speed and counter sequence to start where Shawn walks up Razor’s back. Razor’s response: hit Shawn in the face. Why mess with what works? They brawl a bit with Shawn coming out in the lead. Eh that’s a bit of a stretch. Like he’d ever come out.

Savage tries to explain how things are done in Miami and Vince more or less brushes him off. Shawn hammers Razor down with forearms in the corner to really take over. Vince is pushing the heck out of the New Generation idea. There’s Diesel getting involved which keeps Shawn in control. Razor gets a backslide for two and we hit the chinlock with the blonde dude in control.

So much for that though as Razor gets a catapult to take down Shawn as well as Diesel who tries to catch Shawn. We take a break with Vince saying it’s unbelievable then asking if you can believe it. This is apparently Shawn’s first match since Wrestlemania. That’s a bit surprising indeed. An abdominal stretch goes on so Shawn cheats to get out of it. BIG backdrop takes him down though as Razor takes over one more time.

Now we’re going to talk about the Goodwill Games for some reason. Weren’t those a Turner deal? Razor gets a bearhug as Shawn is in big trouble now. Shawn can’t slam him so back to the bearhug we go. Shawn climbs over the top and gets a sunset flip for two but walks into a clothesline for two for Razor. Shawn ducks a charging Razor to send him to the floor where Diesel throws in a clothesline to really take care of Razor.

After another break Razor is back in and in trouble. Savage has figured it out: Shawn and Diesel do what they want to do. That’s a revelation? Shawn hammers away in the corner as it’s all HBK at this point. Jumping back elbow gets two. There’s a sleeper as Savage says no one has a patent on a sleeper. Vince throwing him out soon after that makes all the more sense with very word he says.

Belly to back suplex gets two for Razor so he kicks the tar out of Shawn to take over again. They hit heads and both guys go down. Razor cranks it up one more time but Shawn blocks a belly to back off the middle rope to get a spinning cross body but Razor rolls through for two. Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere gets two only.

Shawn sets for the Razor’s Edge which is of course blocked and both guys are down all over again. Razor says it’s over but Diesel gets up on the apron. Shawn grabs the belt but gets backdropped instead. Diesel however gets up on the apron again and Shawn sends Razor into his boot so that a rollup can end it. SWEET match!

Rating: A-. This was very good stuff. We’re so used to the ladder matches from these two and it’s nice to see just a wrestling match from them as they’re more than capable of having one. Excellent match here that ran almost 25 minutes including commercials. I was into this the whole time and it worked very well. Worth seeing indeed.

Shawn and Diesel beat down Razor post match.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger

This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.

Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Usually you see him as a worthless guy obsessed with a certain body part. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.

Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.

Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.

Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.

Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves him right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.

Shawn pops up from under the water in the hot tub and reaffirms his awesomeness as we close it out.

Overall Rating: B+. This was actually a really good tape. They didn’t go with the major matches here but showed off some of the lesser known stuff and it really worked. The Razor match and the tag match were uncovered gems that were both really good and the rest of the stuff is all pretty solid. Surprisingly the worst matches on here are against Backlund and Hart. This was really good but I’ve never seen it until recently so it’s pretty rare. If for some reason you run across it, definitely check it out as it’s one of the better Coliseum Videos I’ve seen.

 

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Best of the WWF Volume 9
Hosts: Johnny Valiant, Gorilla Monsoon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Alfred Hayes, Billy Red Lyons

We have two to go in this series and I have some time to kill today so this ends now. This one is from late 86 so it’s hard to say what to expect on here. There seems to be fewer match on this tape though so maybe they’ll be longer? It’s hard to tell on these as they’re such a mixed bag. Let’s get to it.

Coliseum Video intro gets my toes tapping.

The hosts run down the card and Valiant kind of goes insane about the boot camp match.

Intercontinental Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

From Toronto and I’d bet this is the best match on the tape. I think we’re joined very early in this with Steamboat working on the arm. Savage is defending of course. Steamboat cranks on the arm and speeds things up to confuse Savage. Gorilla and Heenan get in an argument over Heenan not being able to talk. Gorilla: “Go ahead, the floor is your’s.” Heenan: “I don’t want the floor, I want the microphone.” Gorilla: “Go ahead.” Heenan: “I don’t care to say anything right now.” I love these two.

Steamboat stays on the arm as is his custom. Savage gets the rope but the referee kicks his arm off like he’s cheating. What a jerk! More arm work by Steamboat so Savage takes him to the ropes for the break. It works because Steamboat is in there and the referee yells at Savage. What’s up with this guy? Heenan recommends choking Streamboat because he’s just a mean guy.

Savage manages to send him into the corner and Steamboat falls to the floor. Back in and an elbow puts Ricky down and the top rope ax handle gets two. He tries another but Steamboat gets in a punch to the ribs. They head to the floor for a brief slugout where Ricky takes over. Back inside Steamboat hits a top rope chop for two and a double chop puts Randy down for the same result.

Savage shoves Steambaot into the referee and everyone is down. Heenan thinks it was just an accident of course and then blames it on Steamboat. They fight over a backslide and the referee is back up. This referee counts slow and it’s two here. Savage is busted open but manages to pull out a foreign object. It hits Steamboat in the eyes but doesn’t knock him down. Savage falls to the floor and eventually pulls Steamboat out too. They brawl for awhile and Steamboat beats the count in by about half a second.

Rating: B. Hey what a shock: two masters have a great match. They just did their thing and it was an excellent match. It’s not exactly Detroit in 87, but then again what is? This was a much slower paced match but it’s still very good in its own right. Good stuff here as always and this isn’t going to be topped on this show. If it does I’ll be stunned.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hart Foundation

In Boston here and this would be heel vs. heel. The Harts are the faces by default and get cheered as a result. They also break up the Russian national anthem to really ensure their cheers. Even Gorilla acknowledges that no one cheers the Harts most of the time. The Harts clear the ring and eventually we start with Bret vs. Nikolai. Off to Sheik before anything happenes.

Bret sends him to the floor pretty easily as the Harts are in desperate need of a better team than this to face. Sheik gets him in the heel (I guess) corner but he misses a boot so Volkoff gets knocked down. Nikolai does get up to break up the middle rope elbow and Neidhart is shoved away. Sheik can take over now and brings in Nikolai who gets caught in a sunset flip which the referee misses.

The team that should have been called the Iron Curtain uses the classic basic heel moves to control as Sheik runs through his array of offense: abdominal stretch, gutwrench suplex and camel clutch, the final of which is broken up by Jim. Bret blocks some suplexes and it’s off to Neidhart. Jim cleans house with a bunch of dropkicks but Sheik breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and Sheik pulls Neidhart’s leg to break up a slam and Volkoff falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Bad match and it’s not the right pairing for the Harts at all. They’re much better against the speed teams and since there was at least one for them to fight in the Killer Bees, I’m assuming there’s something up here. Not much of a match and pretty short, but the Harts did what they could. It just didn’t work all that well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

This is a boot camp match which basically means street fight. The idea here is American hero vs. evil foreigner, which makes so much sense as we’re in CANADA. Volkoff runs a lot which doesn’t work as Kischner drops him with some shots. A low blow stops the Corporal and Volkoff takes over. Other than the low blow which might not have been seen anyway, the gimmick has only meant Nikolai is in camouflage pants.

Out to the ramp and Nikolai slams him out there a few times. And now back in because going into a big brawl might be too interesting. Back to the floor and this is going absolutely nowhere. Volkoff somehow manages to hit a pair of chair shots so bad that it actually makes the match EVEN MORE boring. He hammers on the Corporal with a belt and clotheslines him down with it.

Sunset flip gets two for Corporal and he starts his comeback. The fans wake up quickly but Kirschner makes sure to wait awhile between each move. Volkoff is losing his pants. And never mind as Kirschner is sent to the floor again. While he’s out there the Corporal takes off his boot. A shot with that is enough to finally end this nonsense.

Rating: F. I forgot this was a gimmick match most of the time. First off, Volkoff is so slow that it couldn’t get going no matter what was going on. Couple that with those HORRIBLE chair shots (I mean they didn’t even make noise) and there was no way for this to be anything resembling good at all.

Junkyard Dog/Andre the Giant/Jimmy Snuka vs. John Studd/Ken Patera/Jesse Ventura

This is two weeks before Wrestlemania and in MSG. Isn’t that pushing things pretty close together? Dog vs. Patera gets us going and the fans are already into it. Andre is in quickly and the dominance begins. Patera is knocked all over the place and Heenan tries to calm him down. Off to JYD again and Patera can barely stand up. Andre runs Patera off again and it all breaks down pretty quickly.

The heels take over and it’s off to Jesse who uses his usual stuff. In kind of a surprise, Jesse tries to ram Dog’s head into the buckle and it works as well as it always does. Here comes Snuka and the fans go crazy. Jesse gets in a shot though and the heels take over. Studd comes in and Andre wants a piece of him but has to wait a few weeks. Off to a bearhug to Snuka and the heels use the old switcheroo to bring back Patera.

Jesse comes in and we complete the trio of bearhugs. Back to Studd who bearhugs him as well. The place is going to erupt when Andre comes in. Jimmy breaks the hold and tags Andre. I was right about the place erupting. It’s a battle of the giants but Patera breaks up the slam. Studd runs and it’s off to Jesse. Everything breaks down and Snuka splashes Jesse for the pin while Andre runs interference.

Rating: D. Very boring match for the most part but the MSG reactions for Andre and Snuka were just great. Those two could do no wrong back then, which is probably what made the heel turn for Andre work so well. Boring match but a good ending which helped it a little bit. The Superfly Splash is always worth seeing.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Sivi Afi/King Tonga

Tonga is Meng/Haku and is in the middle of a small push as he tries to slam Studd. He succeeded at a house show but it was after a match was over. Tonga and Studd start with the power stuff. Tonga throws him to the floor and rams him into the post to take over. Back in Studd jumps off the top for a forearm shot and Tonga is in trouble.

As I say that he comes back with a superkick and Studd is reeling. Tonga fires away and dances. A headbutt keeps Studd down and there’s a slam which should be $15,000 but Heenan would always have an excuse of some sort. Afi comes in and gets tossed around but isn’t really hurt. Bundy comes in and the size and power catch up with the islanders. Afi takes him down and splashes him for two.

Afi looks a lot like Jimmy Snuka. He doesn’t have anywhere near the talent but that never stopped people before. Studd and Bundy pound him down and this is going on forever. Tonga comes in and Bundy drops a knee on him which gets the pin. Bundy tried to pull up but it got counted anyway. At least it’s over.

Rating: D-. This tape is AWFUL. This was basically a squash and probably the end of the run for King Tonga. Afi never went anywhere and I have no idea what happened to him. Bundy and Studd would continue to beat on people including the feud with the Machines which is an old favorite of mine. Other than that there isn’t much going on at all with them and they’d leave pretty soon.

Cowboy Lang vs. Lord Littlebrook

And it’s a midget match. This is in MSG and I have no idea what to talk about here. There aren’t any stories to them and there aren’t really any characters so what’s the point in these? Lang tries a few full nelsons and the crowd doesn’t care. Littlebrook bites the fingers so Lang bites him and the referee. This is a “comedy” match which as usual in these matches, as is the lack of comedy. Lang wins a reverse rolling victory roll. I’m not rating it of course but this was just as bad as any midget match.

Battle Royal

Thankfully they give us an entrants list: Junkyard Dog, Harley Race, Billy Jack Haynes, King Kong Bundy, Sivi Afi, Brutus Beefcake, Bobby Heenan, Pedro Morales, Lanny Poffo, Mike Sharpe, Moondog Spot, Jimmy Hart, King Tonga, Big John Studd, Dynamite Kid, Davey Boy Smith, Greg Valentine, Johnny Valiant, SD Jones, Tony Garea, Moondog Rex, Tony Atlas. The British Bulldogs were listed twice for some reason. The winner gets 50 grand.

Everyone immediately puts Studd and Bundy out as Jimmy Hart dives to the floor. Heenan gets tossed out quickly and things slow down as you would expect them to do. Jimmy is under the ring. SD Jones goes out and this is a pretty slow battle royal which is ok. Mike Sharpe goes out as does Atlas. Valiant is tossed. There’s nothing else to talk about in this.

There goes Garea. Race looks different here with the brown hair. I know that’s his more famous look but it’s different here. Speaking of Race, he’s out as is Afi. That puts him down to about ten people. The Bulldogs hit stereo dropkicks to take Moondogs at the same time. There are nine left. Dynamite Kid is gone and everyone is on the same side of the ring. I believe there are 8 left.

Pedro gets caught on the top and Valentine hits him enough to get rid of him. Beefcake is thrown out and we’re down to Poffo, Haynes, Smith, Dog, Tonga and Valentine, or five good guys vs. Valentine. He manages to dump Haynes and Tonga in a few seconds. Smith charges but Valentine low bridges him, then does the same thing to Poffo.

We’re down to Dog and Valentine in the ring. Dog is thrown to the outside but it’s through the middle ropes. That goes nowhere until Dog manages to headscissor Valentine out but he falls out too. And then Jimmy Hart comes in and is declared the winner because he went under the ropes earlier. The fans LOUDLY boo this out of the building but it’s totally legal.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they gave us a good ending. You know that the fans in MSG are going to freak out in the end for something like that. Good fun match here and definitely the best match on the tape other than the opener which are the only two good matches here.

Overall Rating: F+. Other than the opener and a one joke match, this was HORRIBLE. 1986 was a very bad time for the WWF and since there’s some weird No Hogan Rule on a lot of these tapes, there isn’t anything really interesting going on most of the time. This was like the bottom of the barrel for the company, which doesn’t scream Best to me.

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Inside the Steel Cage
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Alfred Hayes, Johnny Valiant, Vince McMahon
Host: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Valentine

How many details can I give you here? It’s from the mid eighties and that’s about all I can give you. There was another version of this but this is the older one, which should make it a bit more interesting. Let’s get to it.

All matches are cage matches.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

This is joined in progress and Andre is just maybe a foot or two shorter than the top of the cage. I think this is from Toronto but I’m not sure. Andre bites away and opens up Studd. That cage is SHAKING. The lighting is rather bad here for the most part. This is before 1985 based on Andre’s hair. You can barely see them for a few seconds here but it picks up a bit.

Andre misses a diving headbutt and Studd heads for the door which gets him nowhere. This is a lot of laying around and choking on the mat with the occasional big clubbing forearm shot. Studd goes for the door again but can’t get through one more time. Monsoon kind of implies any part of getting out of the cage counts rather than just the feet. They’ve spent about four minutes now laying down near the door now.

Andre finally stands up and stares at Studd for a bit. Ah never mind he must have worn himself out so we’re going to lay down a bit more. The slug it out and Studd surprisingly wins. Studd has a chance to leave and like the stupid heel that he is he doesn’t go for it and charges again, running into a big boot. Andre gets a slam and then goes to the TOP ROPE and jumps off with a huge sit down splash onto Studd’s chest. FREAKING DOUBLE OW MAN! The exit from the cage is academic as Studd is for all intents and purposes, dead.

Rating: D+. Well the match was incredibly boring with them just kind of laying around for the most part but DANG that ending was awesome with Studd getting destroyed to end this. That was a mind blowing ending with Andre coming down HARD on Studd. This was the second biggest feud in the company at the time which resulted in Andre beating Studd in a slam match at Mania.

We get a clip of the same kind of ending with Andre vs. Kamala. Just like two minutes here so I can’t call it a match. Andre dominates and drops the same seated splash (seated senton like Rey but the guy is already down).

It’s another ending to a match but this one is a bit more famous. It’s Snuka vs. Muraco and the legendary cage dive ending. What’s not often remembered is that happened after the match ended. Snuka gets a flying headbutt and Muraco stumbled out onto the floor to retain. Apparently Dreamer, Bubba Ray Dudley and of course Mick Foley were all in attendance. That really is an amazing sight and was the biggest spot ever at the time.

Adrian Adonis/Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana/Bruno Sammartino

Wild brawl to start with Adonis vs. Santana and Bruno vs. Savage. Savage is the IC Champion at this point. You only win with both guys getting to the floor. They’re MOVING out there. Apparently the door is only going to be opened upon request. So it’s like a shave around the ears? Bruno, an old veteran of cage matches, stops Savage from trying to escape.

Even Adonis is running so you can tell they’re serious here. Bruno is beating the tar out of Savage here. I love the way he throws boots. This was actually a hot feud as Bruno came out of retirement to feud with Savage which in reality was a way to get his son some spots on TV. Tito makes a nice save to keep Savage in the door and Bruno crotches Adrian just because it’s fun. Gorilla says his wish just came true. I don’t want to know what that means. Tito is busted and it’s not bad.

It’s kind of odd to see someone use a kick as their main offense when you’re so used to seeing punches being the main thing. Savage goes for a double axe from the top but runs into the fist of Santana and the heels are in trouble. Savage is bleeding BAD. He manages to stop Santana though.

Adonis goes up and dives off the top, hitting Sammartino with a knee drop. Unfortunately that’s because he botched it for the most part and kind of fell off the top of the cage onto Bruno. Savage gets a leg over the top but runs into the taco salesman from Tijuana. The heels are slammed together allowing Bruno to get out the door and Santana over the top to end this.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this was a war. They beat the living crap out of each other and none of the four ever stopped at all. Bruno could bring on the violence when he wanted to and apparently he wanted to do so here. This was a very good match with all four guys working very hard and never stopping once in about ten minutes. I liked it.

Another quick three minute version of a match I already reviewed in full which is Tito vs. Valentine with Tito getting the title back. Check the WWF Grudge Matches review for the full thing if you’re interested. I’m not reviewing a three minute part of a match I already did in full. Tito wins what was a good match.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

This is from some time in the 60s but Gorilla doesn’t know when. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. This is in Philadelphia apparently. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Bruno Sammartino vs. Roddy Piper

Not a title match here as this is from the mid 80s. We’re in Boston here. Gorilla and Jesse talk about the experience you get in cage matches. Jesse wonders what you can actually learn in there which makes sense. Piper wears a Bears shirt which is around the time that the Bears beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He also hangs posters in the cage which is a nice touch.

Bruno comes out and goes straight for Piper, sending him into the cage. Piper is bleeding maybe a minute in. Bruno shoves the poster in Piper’s face as this is a big beatdown. This was another big feud as Piper had totally not respected Sammartino as most young heels didn’t so Vince set this up before cutting almost all ties with Bruno. Granted that was mutual so that’s not a fair criticism.

Piper gets a low blow to save the match and barely has his shirt off yet. Sammartino has to make a big save to keep Piper out as he might be busted open too. Piper seems more like he’s just trying to escape while Bruno wants punishment. And there’s Roddy’s trunks going down. Ok then. Bruno kicks away and they slug it out. Jesse has kind of stopped talking here.

Roddy goes up and Bruno pounds on his supple Scottish balls. That’s not quite enough for Bruno to get out but Bruno grabs a wooden chair as he’s trying to leave and blasts Piper in the head with it to win. Jesse says that was cheating but it’s a cage match so whatever I suppose.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and a bit longer than the previous one. Bruno was fun to watch and the fans always reacted to him. This was a veteran giving the young loudmouth a beating and that’s something that is always going to work. Nothing great but a fun match either way.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the heck out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

The final match is the main event of Mania II so it’s copy and paste time again. It was joined in progress but not by much, maybe a minute or so.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling and action here are mostly great but at the same time the cage matches non stop get rather monotonous after awhile. They’re good matches but at the same time you kind of want something else after the first few of them. It’s good stuff to be sure but you might now want to watch it all in one sitting. Worth checking out though.

 

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Best of the WWF Volume 1
Host: Vince McMahon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Red Bastien, Vince McMahon, Alfred Hayes

This is the long delayed installment in the series from Coliseum Video. The word best is a huge stretch but it’s really just a collection of matches, some of which I’ve done before. There are 20 volumes in the set and I found some more of them recently so I’m required by reviewer’s law to be all over them. Let’s get to it.

I miss the old Coliseum Video intro. It’s just cool.

Most of these matches are clipped by the way but I’ll do what I can.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch

Murdoch and Adonis are tag champions. This is from the Meadowlands in New Jersey. Hogan and Andre say they’re awesome and best friends and all that jazz. This is from July 15, 1984. I have dates for most of the matches so I’ll try to remember to add those. Adonis is a biker here and not gay yet. No Real American yet either. Red Bastien of all people is on commentary with Gorilla. His most famous contribution to wrestling would probably be training Sting and Ultimate Warrior.

Hogan is in the white here. My there’s a lot of background and little things like that being thrown in here. Hogan and Adonis start us off. I’ll give you two guesses as to how well this goes for Adrian. Off to Murdoch and we’re clipped to him bringing in Studd as the heels work on Hulk’s arm. Clipped again (maybe 10 seconds between them) to Andre coming in for the giant staredown.

Andre wants a test of strength so let’s clip it to Hogan fighting the tag champions. Clipping can be so frustrating. Adonis is sent into the corner and Andre massacres him for some fun. Now it’s time for some more monster battles and he Andre gets all three heels trapped into the same corner and rams shoulders into them. The heels take turns triple teaming him and actually manage to get him down. Well score one for them.

Clipped for the fourth time to more of the heels beating on him. From what I can find, this match ran about 22 minutes so clipping it down is probably a good thing. Murdoch wraps the tag rope around Andre’s neck but Hogan comes to….do nothing at all. Andre gets the rope and chokes a bit but it’s off to Hulk who beats up a lot of people. Murdoch gets an elbow up and it’s clip #5 to Hogan being slammed by Adonis.

Adrian gets crotched so here’s Studd instead. Bastien doesn’t talk much. Andre comes in off a double clothesline by Hogan and Murdoch and everything breaks down as you would expect it to. Studd tries to run so Andre waddles after him. The tag champs beat down Hogan but he starts no selling punches. I think you can see the ending coming already. Andre drops down on Murdoch’s chest and stays there despite Adonis pounding on him. See, now why do you never see that happen? Doesn’t it strike you as odd that when a guy has a cover and is hit from behind he flies off to the side?

Rating: C-. Obviously this is just for what I saw, which is only about half of the match. This is very much a house show main event as there was only a feud between Andre and Studd. There was nothing I’m aware of between Hogan and Murdoch although he has some matches with Adrian if I remember correctly. Either way, thank goodness this was clipped.

The next match is the main event from the Brawl to End it All, which is kind of like the grandfather of Wrestlemania. It’s from July 23, 1984 in MSG and was aired live on MTV. This is the full version of the review and I copied and pasted it from the original so I have no idea if the whole match was put onto the tape or not.

Moolah says she’s a legend and this is going to be easy.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Moolah looks old. Richter looks insane but this is the 80s so that makes sense. Nuclear heat on Albano. Lauper is at ringside too which gets a huge pop. Moolah throws her out onto the announce table almost immediately. Moolah probably had a hand in training Richter so this should be a pretty bad clash of styles.

Lauper’s manager is on commentary and can’t talk that well which is expected I guess. Richter gets an armbar to maintain control. Both miss dropkicks as it’s odd to see this being the big blowoff to a major feud as the feature contest. Albano’s ramblings are rather funny.

In a funny moment Richter gets her neck snapped over the ropes and Gene shouts OH SNAP! Rather sloppy match here as Moolah gets hung upside down in the ropes. She stays there for a good while until Albano saves her. Ok so he’s just trying to as it doesn’t work at all. Finally she’s out thanks to the referee.

Full nelson to Moolah and Cyndi pops up on the apron. And now she’s down. Was there a point to that at all? Lauper hits Moolah in the face with…something and the referee is fine with this I guess. Ok then. Suplex gets two for Wendi. This has been almost dominance by Richter here.

Moolah gets a monkey flip for two, as in back to back one counts. That was odd looking. She takes over a bit and pulls Wendi up off a backdrop which is one of her finishers. Why it was one of her finishers I’m not sure but whatever. Albano misses a wild punch and Moolah continues her dominance.

Belly to back with a bridge gets the pin but we’re not sure whose shoulders were down. Ah ok Moolah got pinned. Really don’t like that booking as Wendi needed the definitive pin to make this work. Moolah and Albano beat up the referee after the match. Richter and company celebrate to end the show.

Rating: C-. The match sucked but that wasn’t the point. This was for the big blowoff and we got it. This match was really just the appetizer and table setter for the big one coming up in February and then March. Nothing all that special but it’s better than a lot of what you would see today.

Gorilla Monsoon vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Ok, the match means NOTHING here. Before the match, Muhammad Ali is introduced to the crowd. Remember that, because it becomes VERY important later. This is from June 1976 and we’re in the Garden again. Baron jumps him to start and that doesn’t work at all. Gorilla chops him to the floor and Ali freaks out. He takes his shirt and tie off and Baron walks out. Yeah the match itself is over already.

And now we get to the important part of the show. Ali throws some punches without really trying to connect. He points a finger in Monsoon’s face and Gorilla picks up Muhammad Ali and gives him an airplane spin. Muhammad Ali is the world heavyweight boxing champion at this point. Ali is slammed to the mat and bails. Gorilla says he proved wrestling is superior over boxing.

This was insane at the time as it was huge mainstream publicity and Ali was the biggest sports star in the world, bar none. This would be like Lionel Messi or Tiger Woods doing this. It also set up a match in Japan with Antonio Inoki facing Ali in what is the grandfather of MMA fights. Gorilla, ever the definition of old school, would never admit if this whole thing was planned or not.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Bobby Bass

This is from some time in 1984. Just a squash with the Splash ending it in about 90 seconds. Nothing to see here other than the finish.

Time for something a little more famous. Jimmy Snuka is in Piper’s Pit and Piper won’t shut up to let Jimmy talk. Snuka was the second biggest star in the company at this point so this is pure evil from the Hot Scot. He offers Jimmy a pineapple, some bananas and some coconuts so that Jimmy can feel like he’s at home.

Jimmy asks if Piper is making fun of him and we get the famous scene of Piper breaking the coconut over Jimmy’s head. Jimmy goes flying through the set and Piper shoves the banana in his face then whips him with the belt. This set off a HUGE feud over the summer with tons of wars between these two and it’s also why Snuka was in Hogan’s corner at the first Wrestlemania.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

August 25, 1984 in the Garden again. Snuka starts off with chops and a headbutt. Piper is begging off as is the custom to start a grudge match like this in the 80s. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and when that doesn’t work he thumbs Snuka in the eyes. Jimmy grabs a sleeper and Piper is apparently trying to shimmy his way out of it. They go to the floor with the hold still on.

Piper, more in his element now, is able to break the hold on the floor. Jimmy sends him into the post and is busted open. Jimmy “goes bananas” according to Gorilla, which is a very poor choice of words given what started this feud. Snuka hammers away and hits the headbutt but the top rope cross body is countered into a hot shot and falls to the floor for a countout. Again, they keep the feud going with a non-conclusive ending. Old school booking 101.

Rating: B-. Solid brawl here as you could feel the hatred. This was a house show match though so the ending is understandable. The feud between these guys was great and I’m sure it would be blown off at another house show just like this one. I love old school booking. It’s so much different than today’s. Actually it’s not so different but house shows were the life blood of the company back then.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Black Tiger

This is Black Tiger #1 who is a lot more famous in Japan. Cobra fought in Japan a lot more than in America. This is the light heavyweight title of the 80s and it eventually moved to Japan permanently until it was brought back in 97 for Taka to win. This is also from the Garden a few days after Christmas of 84. The title is vacant here. Black Tiger is a British guy under the mask and is billed from England. That’s different.

The fans have no idea who these guys are and are very quiet because of it. It’s clipped from a few minutes after the opening with Cobra in control to Black Tiger working on the leg. Cobra hits a spinwheel kick and a knee drop for two. Gorilla gives an idea of what it’s like to be in a mask and it’s off to a Boston Crab (clipped) by Cobra. Off to a surfboard which only lasts a few seconds.

We go from Cobra hitting the ropes to being in a full nelson. Gene Okerlund pops back on commentary now. Tiger goes up and is slammed down in a clip that is on the Coliseum Video intro. Clipped again (I think) to Black Tiger hitting a clothesline for some of his first offense. Swinging neckbreaker by Tiger sets up more clipping to Cobra taking over. A dropkick puts Tiger on the floor and Cobra hits a suicide dive to get the crowd into it. The selling is straight out of ROH here as Tiger pops up and hits a top rope splash for no cover.

Suplex gets two. Tombstone gets two for the Tiger. I think Tiger is the heel here but it’s really not clear. Cobra hits a tombstone of his own and I think we’re clipped again. Either that or the crowd got going VERY quickly out of nowhere. Cobra goes up and hits a senton back splash to win the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it really wasn’t anything to write home about, let alone write a full review of. This was nothing by comparison as it really wasn’t any kind of a fast paced match at all. The top rope move was a nice thing to see as that was still a big move. Not a bad match or anything but just kind of there.

We get a segment of Hogan training Mean Gene for a match with George Steele and Mr. Fuji. I think I’ve reviewed this before but whatever. Gene is having a cigar and coffee and Hogan freaks out on him and makes breakfast for him, which is mainly raw eggs. Gene looks like he lives in a trailer. They go for a run around the lake and some people are there to cheer them on. Gene wants a beer. Day 2 is weight training. This is set to the Coliseum Video theme song and is laughably bad. They train for two more days and Hogan is enjoying this way too much. Gene thinks he’s ready.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. Mr. Fuji/George Steele

August of 84 in Minneapolis. This is when Fuji still wrestled on occasion so he’s not horrible. It’s all Hogan for the most part of course and by that I mean he wrestles most of the match. Gene in trunks and no shirt is something I NEVER need to see again. Clipped to Steele cheating and taking over on Hogan. Hogan sends him to the floor and struts a bit. Gene high fives Hulk and that counts as a tag. Gene, ever the idiot, tries his luck with Gene….and then dives through George’s legs for the tag. That’s better.

Clipped again to Hulk pounding on Fuji. Fuji tries to throw some salt but Hogan messes that up. Gene puts a knee into Fuji (or something like that) and then Hogan slams Gene onto Fuji for the pin. Yeah I think we all knew that was the ending that was coming here. Gene gets to kick both guys post match.

Rating: D+. Ok yes it’s bad, but at the same time what were you expecting here? I mean, you have to keep in mind what you’re watching when you look at something like this. It’s not going to be a masterpiece and yes it’s very bad, but you have to give it a big bit of slack as there’s a manager and an interviewer out there.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

For the next match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a tape released in late 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating: C+. This is a weird one. It’s just such a different era and there are the start of three HUGE angles on here so the historical value trumps almost any other tape you’ll get from this era. This is about 4 months before the first Wrestlemania so you can really see how different things are back here. It’s an entertaining tape, but the drama outweighs the wrestling by about five Big Shows.

 

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Wham Bam Bodyslam
Host: Ted DiBiase
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Stan Lane

Another Coliseum Video here that has no particular reason at all to be done here. Since it’s a pointless tape with nothing special that I recall about it at all, that means it’s time for a review! Let’s get to it.

Looks to be from 94-95. Ted promises us a special feature with Doink and Dink. What did I do to deserve this?

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Tatanka is part of the Million Dollar Team so this is after Summerslam 94. We’re in Albany it seems. The racial stereotype tries to talk but gets cut off by the music of the Renegade Lex Luger. Luger goes right after Tatanka and we’re on in a hurry. The Indian hides on the floor as we stall a lot. Luger wants to kill him it seems. Literally all we have here is Luger chasing Tatanka and Tatanka running away.

FINALLY the referee gets in Luger’s way and we get going. Luger hammers away and after about a minute I have a bad feeling about this tape. Out to the floor and it’s Tatanka in control. We’re maybe four minutes into this and I want to go watch some Sandman vs. Sabu. Three elbows get two for Tatanka.

Ah there’s a chinlock. Wow this is riveting. Luger’s face is pathetic here as he might as well be ordering dinner. He fights up and Tatanka gets a knee to put him back down. Back to the chinlock again. To tell you how pathetic the Million Dollar Team was, King Kong Bundy was considered their best chance at getting a title. Lex fights up again and AGAIN it’s the chinlock. This is one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Luger knocks Tatanka to the floor which seems to be a common theme tonight. Lex goes out after him and the beating continues. At least this is finally picking up a bit. It’s about time after that big long boring match. And there’s a double countout to end this. Oh no. Oh no they didn’t just give us THAT finish after watching these two for almost fifteen minutes. Dang it yes they did.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. Nothing happened in this and it was the epitome of filling in time without having to do a thing. This was a feud I always liked and then we get this nonsense. Totally boring match that is mostly chinlock and running. I know this era was bad but this isn’t making me feel any better about this tape.

Post match we get a tease of more fighting and Luger gives Tatanka the Rack. Oh I’m sorry: the REBEL Rack.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Bret is world champion here so this is probably around August of 94 as that was the top feud around that time. Still in Albany and likely at the same show. Apparently this was October 19, 1994. I’ve always wondered which shows they picked to film and how they were chosen. Bret and Owen start so we’re guaranteed a good start at least. Granted after that last match anything sounds great.

I love Owen celebrating while doing absolutely nothing. Lots of chain wrestling to start as you would expect. Bret works on the arm and gets a crucifix for two. They speed it up a bit and Bret gets a clothesline to put Owen on the floor. Back in and Bret taunts Neidhart, saying he wants the Anvil.

Now here’s a match I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Bret tries his usual stuff but Anvil catches him in a bear hug. Hart bites Anvil’s head to escape and it’s time for power vs. power. Ok never mind as it’s time for Owen vs. Bulldog. They’re getting in and out of there rather fast. Stan Lane continues to be underrated at the announce table. Owen gets caught in the semi-delayed vertical for two.

We hit the chinlock again even though I thought we had hit the quota of chinlocks in the first match. Spinwheel kick puts Bulldog down for two and it’s back to Anvil who puts on a chinlock of his own. The fans are chanting for Owen actually. Owen comes in again and drills Bulldog with some European uppercuts in a nice bit of irony. Shawn Killer Kick makes Smith flip forward and the double teaming commences.

Neidhart back in there now as the heels are working well together here. Bret chases Owen but the referee stops him. This stopping though allows the New Foundation (Owen and Neidhart of course) to hit a Hart Attack on Bulldog for two. Neckbreaker by Owen gets two and we hit the chinlock one more time. This is very much a stop and go kind of match as they’ll get going and then stop for a chinlock etc.

Bulldog fights up and they hit head to head. There’s a tag to Hart but Neidhart had the referee distracted. Heel miscommunication puts Anvil down and there’s the tag to the champion. He beats up both guys while Bulldog just watches on. What a nice partner he is. Russian Leg Sweep gets two on Owen and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. He actually gets the Sharpshooter but Neidhart makes the save. Off to the Bulldog again and everything breaks down. Bulldog gets a small package, Neidhart turns it over, Bret turns it over again and Bulldog pins Owen to end it.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a lot of the rest holds and give it a bit better ending then this would be a much better match. Still though not a bad match at all and I thought it was pretty good. With these four it’s hard not to have a good match. Neidhart was the worst of these four but he’s certainly watchable in the ring. Decent match but could have been much better.

And now, it’s time for Doink and Dink. This isn’t looking like a great tape so far. They run around the WWF Studios playing pranks on people. I hate my life. Oh sweet goodness they’re going to do more of this later.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Same show again and Razor is champion. Razor has some fat guy with him that I don’t recognize. Ah apparently that’s his guest manager for this match. Shouldn’t he be like, a kid? Razor gives his necklaces to the ring attendant: Anthony Chimmel. I had no idea he was around back at this point. Jarrett takes a toothpick to the eye and complains about it to kill time.

Armdrag takes Razor down to start. We’re starting very, very slowly here. Jarrett does the lay on the turnbuckle thing that Shawn did better. They exchange slaps as this is dragging pretty badly. Razor gets the fallaway slam for two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. He works on the arm but gets caught by a pair of dropkicks. Make it three of them for Jarrett to take over. He always had a gorgeous dropkick.

Top rope cross body is rolled through though but Jarrett takes back over easily. Hey look it’s a chinlock. Glad to see that they’re keeping things different throughout these three matches they’ve had at this show so far. Razor gets a backslide for two as even Gorilla says he’s not going to get him here. Apparently the fat guy is named Ranger Danger. Belly to back suplex by Razor puts both guys down. Crowd is pretty dead here but not entirely dead.

Back up and a discus punch puts Jeff down. Razor is sent to the floor and looks to be cut open a bit. Wait maybe he isn’t. Ok yes he is. His hair was covering up the cut the second time. Back in and there’s ANOTHER countout. They did that at I think the 95 Rumble which hadn’t happened yet so I guess this is practice.

Rating: D. Another one of these stop and go matches that wasn’t interesting in the slightest. I still don’t get the ranger dude being out there but it was a much more confusing era back then. These two could have a great match when they tried to but this wasn’t the case here. Not much at all and really bad to say the least.

Jeff wants to keep going and Razor says sure. And there’s the Razor’s Edge maybe 8 seconds later. They couldn’t have done this without the countout??? I give up.

Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn

Well Dunn was a jobbing heel tag team that no one cared about but for some reason they were given a moderate push around this time. Also, the Whackers had jobs at this point? Really? The Bushwhackers were doing this weird nose rub thing around this time that was stupider than what they would usually do if you can imagine that. They stall forever before we actually get going.

Butch bites one of them and they do the do-see-do. A gymnastic comedy routine gets us nowhere. Apparently one is named Timothy Well. We haven’t even had a bell yet so we’re just having a big brawl here. We’re not in Albany anymore. The heels get run out of the ring and it’s time for some whacking. We get a reference to Tie Me Kangaroo Down, which was the theme song of Outback Jack. How did I not get him for OCW?

Believe it or not this match is clipped, meaning it was originally longer than it is here. The heels beat on Luck for awhile with some fast leg drops. This match is about as uninteresting as you could ask for if you didn’t get that already. Flying forearm takes Luke down for one. More double teaming follows. Well Dunn is managed by Harvey Whippleman. Butch (called Miller which I’ve never heard) comes in. Dunn’s first name is Stephen. Battering Ram, heel reversal, face reversal, pin, same ending as the other tag match.

Rating: F+. Again, this was CLIPPED. It was originally supposed to be even longer than it already was. We saw about five minutes of it and the match was boring beyond belief based on that. This is one of the worst tapes I’ve ever seen so far and we have a full 54 minutes to go at this point. Shoot me, please?

The next match is one that was on Shawn’s tape so I’m copying and pasting this.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger

This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.

Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.

Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.

Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.

Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.

Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves his annoying ass right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.

Well that killed off ten minutes so there’s that at least.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Lumberjack match here. Come on Harts: SAVE US! The lumberjacks are as usual the medium names on the roster and the majority of the upper midcard. Gorilla can’t tell if the kid that got the glasses was a boy or a girl. That amuses me for some reason. Atomic drop and a DDT for Bret as they’re starting very fast. This is before Summerslam and their cage match apparently.

Owen is sent to the floor but takes over soon thereafter. He locks on a camel clutch despite not being Middle Eastern. Doesn’t he know his stereotypes? We shift to a chinlock since it’s been a full five minutes since one of those. Jarrett gets involved and the lumberjacks get involved. Sharpshooter goes on Owen but Neidhart drills Bret. Owen covers Bret….AND PINS HIM??? He’s announced as the new champion and the heels celebrate! WHAT THE HECK???

And never mind as the referees come down to tell what happened and I think you all know what’s coming here. We actually go to instant replay here and the referee sees what happened. Bah I wanted to see the mystery Owen title reign! Naturally the match is restarted even though Owen looks good with the title on his shoulder.

We restart things and Bret sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Oh look: IT’S A CHINLOCK! Bret, you too? Cross body gets two for the champion. Wait is Owen officially champion at this point? I’m not really sure. Either way it’s back to the chinlock. Headbutt to the ribs gives Owen control and stomps away a bit. Oh and his arm is fine now.

Bret gets sent to the floor and the heels mess with him a bit. Dropkick sends Bret to the floor again and the beating is on again. Suplex gets two. How can Bret vs. Owen be boring like this? Bret fights back but gets caught by a tombstone for two. A top rope headbutt/splash misses for Owen and both guys are down.

Owen is sent into the corner and Bret adds a legdrop for two. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Gorilla doesn’t know why he’s not going for the Sharpshooter yet. Gorilla, he’s done two of the Five Moves of Doom. If he went for it already he might destroy the universe. Gorilla Monsoon wants to destroy the universe. Elbow gets two. Anvil gets on the apron and Owen accidentally drills him so Bret can roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. The match is ok but compared to their other stuff this is pretty weak. The title switch was indeed a nice shock and I’m glad they went with it at the beginning rather than at the end. Not a bad match but dude, it’s Bret vs. Owen. How is that not a guaranteed classic? Whatever I guess, as it’s easily the best match on the tape so far.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano was more or less the Kong of her day. These two had a very long running feud that actually gave us some good matches. Blayze speeds it up a bit and fires away with kicks so Nakano grabs her by the hair and spins her around in a single throw. FREAKING OW MAN! Leg drop gets one. After a short beating Blayze gets a clothesline using the top rope. That’s the extent of her offense as she gets slammed off the top and a Piledriver gets two for the challenger.

Off to a half crab/ankle lock as Nakano shouts ASK HER! It’s a reverse figure four now with Blayze facing down but Nakanko facing up. I’ve seen that before but it’s rare. Nakano is destroying her with all kinds of holds here. Suplex gets two as the crowd is SILENT. Blayze bridges up and holds said bridge despite the huge Nakano jumping down onto her ribs. That’s impressive indeed.

This has more or less been a squash so far so I’d bet a lot on Nakano losing to a German suplex. A cross body takes Nakano down but Luna Vachon, Nakano’s friend I guess, distracts her and a DDT gets two for Bull. Crucifix gets two for Alundra. Sunset flip is countered by the power of a large ass for two. Powerbomb gets two as they’ve sped this way up. Superplex is blocked by Bull (called Dumbo by Gorilla) but her guillotine legdrop finisher misses. Three dropkicks by the champions get two. And yep there’s the German out of nowhere to end it.

Rating: C+. Hey what do you know about that? Blayze got her ass handed to her for 10 minutes and then hit one move to get the win. Never at all been a fan of this style of booking as it makes the champion look really weak. The pin was clean though so points for that. Also, Bull was doing some insane stuff out there so I have to give this a good grade.

Battle Royal

20 people in this and I’d assume it’s the main event. Let’s see how many I can name: Bigelow, Yokozuna, Mabel, Typhoon…yeah this is a waste of my time. I’ll let you know as they go out. Immediately, as in less than 15 seconds after we start, they gang up on Yoko and he’s gone. IRS, the Heavenly Bodies, Backlund (pre-crazy), Headshrinkers, Smoking Gunns, 1-2-3 Kid, Adam Bomb and Jeff Jarrett are all in there. Yoko pulled out Fatu (Headshrinker) with him.

Kwang (Savio Vega in a Japanese monster gimmick) is in there too. Sparky Plugg (Hardcore Holly) is in there. I think that’s everyone. Oh and Diesel is in it too. Duke Droese is in it. I’m missing one guy. Blast it I hate when that happens. Oh it’s Nikolai Volkoff. That’s much better. Yes Volkoff made things better. That’ll never happen again.

Standard battle royal so far with the guys kicking and punching on the ropes. There goes Typhoon as we’re down to 17 I think. Diesel and Mabel go at it in a preview of the worst PPV main event of all time. Backlund puts Tom Pritchard (Heavenly Bodies) out. That leaves us with sixteen I believe. Bigelow misses a clothesline to put us down to 15. Backlund puts out another one, this time Bart Gunn.

Kid slips back under the ropes and tries to put out Kwang but this is pre-99 so he can’t beat giants yet. We hit another time freeze and as I type that Kwang and Adam Bomb go out to thin the ranks out a bit. I think we have 12 yet but that’s just a head count. I don’t see Nikolai. Diesel puts Mabel out and I think we have ten left. The fans chant for Diesel. There’s a reason he would be world champion in less than 3 months.

And just like that everyone gangs up on Diesel and he’s gone. I count 9 at this point: IRS, Holly, Droese, Backlund, Samu, Billy Gunn, Del Ray (Heavenly Body), Jarrett and the Kid. Just after I unpause the video to count them, Lane lists them off. Blast it. Oh well the tape is almost over so I can’t complain. Jarrett throws Holly out. He and IRS team up a bit and get rid of Droese.

Del Ray goes over but doesn’t hit the floor in a nice save. Irwin is out as is Del Ray, leaving us with Kid, Gunn, Backlund, Samu and Jarrett. Everyone other than Kid is on the ropes and then all four others put Samu out. The final four are Jarrett, Backlund, Billy and Kid. Sorry if I missed some eliminations but they weren’t mentioned and the camera missed them too.

Jarrett dumps Billy to get us down to three. Kid goes up top but lands on the apron and sends Jarrett out to get us down to the 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Backlund. PLEASE let Backlund win! He gets the Crossface Chickenwing on as he’s snapping again. Yep there goes the Kid and Backlund gets the win. He’s SCARY with those insane eyes.

Rating: D. I wasn’t too thrilled with this. Backlund winning wasn’t that bad but getting there indeed was. This was just incredibly boring the entire time with nothing interesting happening at all. With all the missed eliminations and the lack of star power (for the time at least) this really didn’t do anything for me in the slightest. Pretty bad match.

Overall Rating: F. Oh thank goodness this is finally over. This is easily one of the worst tapes I’ve ever sat through, which is saying a lot given that there are two Bret matches on here. I even gave some matches some ok grades, but that’s not saying much. Even the good matches are just barely ok at best with even Bret vs. Owen being dull. Boring tape that I had to pause about three dozen times to watch something more interesting. I think it was called Wrestlemania 11? Anyway, terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE, tape.