Inside the Steel Cage
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Alfred Hayes, Johnny Valiant, Vince McMahon
Host: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Valentine

How many details can I give you here? It’s from the mid eighties and that’s about all I can give you. There was another version of this but this is the older one, which should make it a bit more interesting. Let’s get to it.

All matches are cage matches.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

This is joined in progress and Andre is just maybe a foot or two shorter than the top of the cage. I think this is from Toronto but I’m not sure. Andre bites away and opens up Studd. That cage is SHAKING. The lighting is rather bad here for the most part. This is before 1985 based on Andre’s hair. You can barely see them for a few seconds here but it picks up a bit.

Andre misses a diving headbutt and Studd heads for the door which gets him nowhere. This is a lot of laying around and choking on the mat with the occasional big clubbing forearm shot. Studd goes for the door again but can’t get through one more time. Monsoon kind of implies any part of getting out of the cage counts rather than just the feet. They’ve spent about four minutes now laying down near the door now.

Andre finally stands up and stares at Studd for a bit. Ah never mind he must have worn himself out so we’re going to lay down a bit more. The slug it out and Studd surprisingly wins. Studd has a chance to leave and like the stupid heel that he is he doesn’t go for it and charges again, running into a big boot. Andre gets a slam and then goes to the TOP ROPE and jumps off with a huge sit down splash onto Studd’s chest. FREAKING DOUBLE OW MAN! The exit from the cage is academic as Studd is for all intents and purposes, dead.

Rating: D+. Well the match was incredibly boring with them just kind of laying around for the most part but DANG that ending was awesome with Studd getting destroyed to end this. That was a mind blowing ending with Andre coming down HARD on Studd. This was the second biggest feud in the company at the time which resulted in Andre beating Studd in a slam match at Mania.

We get a clip of the same kind of ending with Andre vs. Kamala. Just like two minutes here so I can’t call it a match. Andre dominates and drops the same seated splash (seated senton like Rey but the guy is already down).

It’s another ending to a match but this one is a bit more famous. It’s Snuka vs. Muraco and the legendary cage dive ending. What’s not often remembered is that happened after the match ended. Snuka gets a flying headbutt and Muraco stumbled out onto the floor to retain. Apparently Dreamer, Bubba Ray Dudley and of course Mick Foley were all in attendance. That really is an amazing sight and was the biggest spot ever at the time.

Adrian Adonis/Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana/Bruno Sammartino

Wild brawl to start with Adonis vs. Santana and Bruno vs. Savage. Savage is the IC Champion at this point. You only win with both guys getting to the floor. They’re MOVING out there. Apparently the door is only going to be opened upon request. So it’s like a shave around the ears? Bruno, an old veteran of cage matches, stops Savage from trying to escape.

Even Adonis is running so you can tell they’re serious here. Bruno is beating the tar out of Savage here. I love the way he throws boots. This was actually a hot feud as Bruno came out of retirement to feud with Savage which in reality was a way to get his son some spots on TV. Tito makes a nice save to keep Savage in the door and Bruno crotches Adrian just because it’s fun. Gorilla says his wish just came true. I don’t want to know what that means. Tito is busted and it’s not bad.

It’s kind of odd to see someone use a kick as their main offense when you’re so used to seeing punches being the main thing. Savage goes for a double axe from the top but runs into the fist of Santana and the heels are in trouble. Savage is bleeding BAD. He manages to stop Santana though.

Adonis goes up and dives off the top, hitting Sammartino with a knee drop. Unfortunately that’s because he botched it for the most part and kind of fell off the top of the cage onto Bruno. Savage gets a leg over the top but runs into the taco salesman from Tijuana. The heels are slammed together allowing Bruno to get out the door and Santana over the top to end this.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this was a war. They beat the living crap out of each other and none of the four ever stopped at all. Bruno could bring on the violence when he wanted to and apparently he wanted to do so here. This was a very good match with all four guys working very hard and never stopping once in about ten minutes. I liked it.

Another quick three minute version of a match I already reviewed in full which is Tito vs. Valentine with Tito getting the title back. Check the WWF Grudge Matches review for the full thing if you’re interested. I’m not reviewing a three minute part of a match I already did in full. Tito wins what was a good match.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

This is from some time in the 60s but Gorilla doesn’t know when. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. This is in Philadelphia apparently. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Bruno Sammartino vs. Roddy Piper

Not a title match here as this is from the mid 80s. We’re in Boston here. Gorilla and Jesse talk about the experience you get in cage matches. Jesse wonders what you can actually learn in there which makes sense. Piper wears a Bears shirt which is around the time that the Bears beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He also hangs posters in the cage which is a nice touch.

Bruno comes out and goes straight for Piper, sending him into the cage. Piper is bleeding maybe a minute in. Bruno shoves the poster in Piper’s face as this is a big beatdown. This was another big feud as Piper had totally not respected Sammartino as most young heels didn’t so Vince set this up before cutting almost all ties with Bruno. Granted that was mutual so that’s not a fair criticism.

Piper gets a low blow to save the match and barely has his shirt off yet. Sammartino has to make a big save to keep Piper out as he might be busted open too. Piper seems more like he’s just trying to escape while Bruno wants punishment. And there’s Roddy’s trunks going down. Ok then. Bruno kicks away and they slug it out. Jesse has kind of stopped talking here.

Roddy goes up and Bruno pounds on his supple Scottish balls. That’s not quite enough for Bruno to get out but Bruno grabs a wooden chair as he’s trying to leave and blasts Piper in the head with it to win. Jesse says that was cheating but it’s a cage match so whatever I suppose.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and a bit longer than the previous one. Bruno was fun to watch and the fans always reacted to him. This was a veteran giving the young loudmouth a beating and that’s something that is always going to work. Nothing great but a fun match either way.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the heck out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

The final match is the main event of Mania II so it’s copy and paste time again. It was joined in progress but not by much, maybe a minute or so.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling and action here are mostly great but at the same time the cage matches non stop get rather monotonous after awhile. They’re good matches but at the same time you kind of want something else after the first few of them. It’s good stuff to be sure but you might now want to watch it all in one sitting. Worth checking out though.

 

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Best of the WWF Volume 1
Host: Vince McMahon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Red Bastien, Vince McMahon, Alfred Hayes

This is the long delayed installment in the series from Coliseum Video. The word best is a huge stretch but it’s really just a collection of matches, some of which I’ve done before. There are 20 volumes in the set and I found some more of them recently so I’m required by reviewer’s law to be all over them. Let’s get to it.

I miss the old Coliseum Video intro. It’s just cool.

Most of these matches are clipped by the way but I’ll do what I can.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch

Murdoch and Adonis are tag champions. This is from the Meadowlands in New Jersey. Hogan and Andre say they’re awesome and best friends and all that jazz. This is from July 15, 1984. I have dates for most of the matches so I’ll try to remember to add those. Adonis is a biker here and not gay yet. No Real American yet either. Red Bastien of all people is on commentary with Gorilla. His most famous contribution to wrestling would probably be training Sting and Ultimate Warrior.

Hogan is in the white here. My there’s a lot of background and little things like that being thrown in here. Hogan and Adonis start us off. I’ll give you two guesses as to how well this goes for Adrian. Off to Murdoch and we’re clipped to him bringing in Studd as the heels work on Hulk’s arm. Clipped again (maybe 10 seconds between them) to Andre coming in for the giant staredown.

Andre wants a test of strength so let’s clip it to Hogan fighting the tag champions. Clipping can be so frustrating. Adonis is sent into the corner and Andre massacres him for some fun. Now it’s time for some more monster battles and he Andre gets all three heels trapped into the same corner and rams shoulders into them. The heels take turns triple teaming him and actually manage to get him down. Well score one for them.

Clipped for the fourth time to more of the heels beating on him. From what I can find, this match ran about 22 minutes so clipping it down is probably a good thing. Murdoch wraps the tag rope around Andre’s neck but Hogan comes to….do nothing at all. Andre gets the rope and chokes a bit but it’s off to Hulk who beats up a lot of people. Murdoch gets an elbow up and it’s clip #5 to Hogan being slammed by Adonis.

Adrian gets crotched so here’s Studd instead. Bastien doesn’t talk much. Andre comes in off a double clothesline by Hogan and Murdoch and everything breaks down as you would expect it to. Studd tries to run so Andre waddles after him. The tag champs beat down Hogan but he starts no selling punches. I think you can see the ending coming already. Andre drops down on Murdoch’s chest and stays there despite Adonis pounding on him. See, now why do you never see that happen? Doesn’t it strike you as odd that when a guy has a cover and is hit from behind he flies off to the side?

Rating: C-. Obviously this is just for what I saw, which is only about half of the match. This is very much a house show main event as there was only a feud between Andre and Studd. There was nothing I’m aware of between Hogan and Murdoch although he has some matches with Adrian if I remember correctly. Either way, thank goodness this was clipped.

The next match is the main event from the Brawl to End it All, which is kind of like the grandfather of Wrestlemania. It’s from July 23, 1984 in MSG and was aired live on MTV. This is the full version of the review and I copied and pasted it from the original so I have no idea if the whole match was put onto the tape or not.

Moolah says she’s a legend and this is going to be easy.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Moolah looks old. Richter looks insane but this is the 80s so that makes sense. Nuclear heat on Albano. Lauper is at ringside too which gets a huge pop. Moolah throws her out onto the announce table almost immediately. Moolah probably had a hand in training Richter so this should be a pretty bad clash of styles.

Lauper’s manager is on commentary and can’t talk that well which is expected I guess. Richter gets an armbar to maintain control. Both miss dropkicks as it’s odd to see this being the big blowoff to a major feud as the feature contest. Albano’s ramblings are rather funny.

In a funny moment Richter gets her neck snapped over the ropes and Gene shouts OH SNAP! Rather sloppy match here as Moolah gets hung upside down in the ropes. She stays there for a good while until Albano saves her. Ok so he’s just trying to as it doesn’t work at all. Finally she’s out thanks to the referee.

Full nelson to Moolah and Cyndi pops up on the apron. And now she’s down. Was there a point to that at all? Lauper hits Moolah in the face with…something and the referee is fine with this I guess. Ok then. Suplex gets two for Wendi. This has been almost dominance by Richter here.

Moolah gets a monkey flip for two, as in back to back one counts. That was odd looking. She takes over a bit and pulls Wendi up off a backdrop which is one of her finishers. Why it was one of her finishers I’m not sure but whatever. Albano misses a wild punch and Moolah continues her dominance.

Belly to back with a bridge gets the pin but we’re not sure whose shoulders were down. Ah ok Moolah got pinned. Really don’t like that booking as Wendi needed the definitive pin to make this work. Moolah and Albano beat up the referee after the match. Richter and company celebrate to end the show.

Rating: C-. The match sucked but that wasn’t the point. This was for the big blowoff and we got it. This match was really just the appetizer and table setter for the big one coming up in February and then March. Nothing all that special but it’s better than a lot of what you would see today.

Gorilla Monsoon vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Ok, the match means NOTHING here. Before the match, Muhammad Ali is introduced to the crowd. Remember that, because it becomes VERY important later. This is from June 1976 and we’re in the Garden again. Baron jumps him to start and that doesn’t work at all. Gorilla chops him to the floor and Ali freaks out. He takes his shirt and tie off and Baron walks out. Yeah the match itself is over already.

And now we get to the important part of the show. Ali throws some punches without really trying to connect. He points a finger in Monsoon’s face and Gorilla picks up Muhammad Ali and gives him an airplane spin. Muhammad Ali is the world heavyweight boxing champion at this point. Ali is slammed to the mat and bails. Gorilla says he proved wrestling is superior over boxing.

This was insane at the time as it was huge mainstream publicity and Ali was the biggest sports star in the world, bar none. This would be like Lionel Messi or Tiger Woods doing this. It also set up a match in Japan with Antonio Inoki facing Ali in what is the grandfather of MMA fights. Gorilla, ever the definition of old school, would never admit if this whole thing was planned or not.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Bobby Bass

This is from some time in 1984. Just a squash with the Splash ending it in about 90 seconds. Nothing to see here other than the finish.

Time for something a little more famous. Jimmy Snuka is in Piper’s Pit and Piper won’t shut up to let Jimmy talk. Snuka was the second biggest star in the company at this point so this is pure evil from the Hot Scot. He offers Jimmy a pineapple, some bananas and some coconuts so that Jimmy can feel like he’s at home.

Jimmy asks if Piper is making fun of him and we get the famous scene of Piper breaking the coconut over Jimmy’s head. Jimmy goes flying through the set and Piper shoves the banana in his face then whips him with the belt. This set off a HUGE feud over the summer with tons of wars between these two and it’s also why Snuka was in Hogan’s corner at the first Wrestlemania.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

August 25, 1984 in the Garden again. Snuka starts off with chops and a headbutt. Piper is begging off as is the custom to start a grudge match like this in the 80s. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and when that doesn’t work he thumbs Snuka in the eyes. Jimmy grabs a sleeper and Piper is apparently trying to shimmy his way out of it. They go to the floor with the hold still on.

Piper, more in his element now, is able to break the hold on the floor. Jimmy sends him into the post and is busted open. Jimmy “goes bananas” according to Gorilla, which is a very poor choice of words given what started this feud. Snuka hammers away and hits the headbutt but the top rope cross body is countered into a hot shot and falls to the floor for a countout. Again, they keep the feud going with a non-conclusive ending. Old school booking 101.

Rating: B-. Solid brawl here as you could feel the hatred. This was a house show match though so the ending is understandable. The feud between these guys was great and I’m sure it would be blown off at another house show just like this one. I love old school booking. It’s so much different than today’s. Actually it’s not so different but house shows were the life blood of the company back then.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Black Tiger

This is Black Tiger #1 who is a lot more famous in Japan. Cobra fought in Japan a lot more than in America. This is the light heavyweight title of the 80s and it eventually moved to Japan permanently until it was brought back in 97 for Taka to win. This is also from the Garden a few days after Christmas of 84. The title is vacant here. Black Tiger is a British guy under the mask and is billed from England. That’s different.

The fans have no idea who these guys are and are very quiet because of it. It’s clipped from a few minutes after the opening with Cobra in control to Black Tiger working on the leg. Cobra hits a spinwheel kick and a knee drop for two. Gorilla gives an idea of what it’s like to be in a mask and it’s off to a Boston Crab (clipped) by Cobra. Off to a surfboard which only lasts a few seconds.

We go from Cobra hitting the ropes to being in a full nelson. Gene Okerlund pops back on commentary now. Tiger goes up and is slammed down in a clip that is on the Coliseum Video intro. Clipped again (I think) to Black Tiger hitting a clothesline for some of his first offense. Swinging neckbreaker by Tiger sets up more clipping to Cobra taking over. A dropkick puts Tiger on the floor and Cobra hits a suicide dive to get the crowd into it. The selling is straight out of ROH here as Tiger pops up and hits a top rope splash for no cover.

Suplex gets two. Tombstone gets two for the Tiger. I think Tiger is the heel here but it’s really not clear. Cobra hits a tombstone of his own and I think we’re clipped again. Either that or the crowd got going VERY quickly out of nowhere. Cobra goes up and hits a senton back splash to win the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it really wasn’t anything to write home about, let alone write a full review of. This was nothing by comparison as it really wasn’t any kind of a fast paced match at all. The top rope move was a nice thing to see as that was still a big move. Not a bad match or anything but just kind of there.

We get a segment of Hogan training Mean Gene for a match with George Steele and Mr. Fuji. I think I’ve reviewed this before but whatever. Gene is having a cigar and coffee and Hogan freaks out on him and makes breakfast for him, which is mainly raw eggs. Gene looks like he lives in a trailer. They go for a run around the lake and some people are there to cheer them on. Gene wants a beer. Day 2 is weight training. This is set to the Coliseum Video theme song and is laughably bad. They train for two more days and Hogan is enjoying this way too much. Gene thinks he’s ready.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. Mr. Fuji/George Steele

August of 84 in Minneapolis. This is when Fuji still wrestled on occasion so he’s not horrible. It’s all Hogan for the most part of course and by that I mean he wrestles most of the match. Gene in trunks and no shirt is something I NEVER need to see again. Clipped to Steele cheating and taking over on Hogan. Hogan sends him to the floor and struts a bit. Gene high fives Hulk and that counts as a tag. Gene, ever the idiot, tries his luck with Gene….and then dives through George’s legs for the tag. That’s better.

Clipped again to Hulk pounding on Fuji. Fuji tries to throw some salt but Hogan messes that up. Gene puts a knee into Fuji (or something like that) and then Hogan slams Gene onto Fuji for the pin. Yeah I think we all knew that was the ending that was coming here. Gene gets to kick both guys post match.

Rating: D+. Ok yes it’s bad, but at the same time what were you expecting here? I mean, you have to keep in mind what you’re watching when you look at something like this. It’s not going to be a masterpiece and yes it’s very bad, but you have to give it a big bit of slack as there’s a manager and an interviewer out there.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

For the next match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a tape released in late 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating: C+. This is a weird one. It’s just such a different era and there are the start of three HUGE angles on here so the historical value trumps almost any other tape you’ll get from this era. This is about 4 months before the first Wrestlemania so you can really see how different things are back here. It’s an entertaining tape, but the drama outweighs the wrestling by about five Big Shows.

 

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Wham Bam Bodyslam
Host: Ted DiBiase
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Stan Lane

Another Coliseum Video here that has no particular reason at all to be done here. Since it’s a pointless tape with nothing special that I recall about it at all, that means it’s time for a review! Let’s get to it.

Looks to be from 94-95. Ted promises us a special feature with Doink and Dink. What did I do to deserve this?

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Tatanka is part of the Million Dollar Team so this is after Summerslam 94. We’re in Albany it seems. The racial stereotype tries to talk but gets cut off by the music of the Renegade Lex Luger. Luger goes right after Tatanka and we’re on in a hurry. The Indian hides on the floor as we stall a lot. Luger wants to kill him it seems. Literally all we have here is Luger chasing Tatanka and Tatanka running away.

FINALLY the referee gets in Luger’s way and we get going. Luger hammers away and after about a minute I have a bad feeling about this tape. Out to the floor and it’s Tatanka in control. We’re maybe four minutes into this and I want to go watch some Sandman vs. Sabu. Three elbows get two for Tatanka.

Ah there’s a chinlock. Wow this is riveting. Luger’s face is pathetic here as he might as well be ordering dinner. He fights up and Tatanka gets a knee to put him back down. Back to the chinlock again. To tell you how pathetic the Million Dollar Team was, King Kong Bundy was considered their best chance at getting a title. Lex fights up again and AGAIN it’s the chinlock. This is one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Luger knocks Tatanka to the floor which seems to be a common theme tonight. Lex goes out after him and the beating continues. At least this is finally picking up a bit. It’s about time after that big long boring match. And there’s a double countout to end this. Oh no. Oh no they didn’t just give us THAT finish after watching these two for almost fifteen minutes. Dang it yes they did.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. Nothing happened in this and it was the epitome of filling in time without having to do a thing. This was a feud I always liked and then we get this nonsense. Totally boring match that is mostly chinlock and running. I know this era was bad but this isn’t making me feel any better about this tape.

Post match we get a tease of more fighting and Luger gives Tatanka the Rack. Oh I’m sorry: the REBEL Rack.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Bret is world champion here so this is probably around August of 94 as that was the top feud around that time. Still in Albany and likely at the same show. Apparently this was October 19, 1994. I’ve always wondered which shows they picked to film and how they were chosen. Bret and Owen start so we’re guaranteed a good start at least. Granted after that last match anything sounds great.

I love Owen celebrating while doing absolutely nothing. Lots of chain wrestling to start as you would expect. Bret works on the arm and gets a crucifix for two. They speed it up a bit and Bret gets a clothesline to put Owen on the floor. Back in and Bret taunts Neidhart, saying he wants the Anvil.

Now here’s a match I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Bret tries his usual stuff but Anvil catches him in a bear hug. Hart bites Anvil’s head to escape and it’s time for power vs. power. Ok never mind as it’s time for Owen vs. Bulldog. They’re getting in and out of there rather fast. Stan Lane continues to be underrated at the announce table. Owen gets caught in the semi-delayed vertical for two.

We hit the chinlock again even though I thought we had hit the quota of chinlocks in the first match. Spinwheel kick puts Bulldog down for two and it’s back to Anvil who puts on a chinlock of his own. The fans are chanting for Owen actually. Owen comes in again and drills Bulldog with some European uppercuts in a nice bit of irony. Shawn Killer Kick makes Smith flip forward and the double teaming commences.

Neidhart back in there now as the heels are working well together here. Bret chases Owen but the referee stops him. This stopping though allows the New Foundation (Owen and Neidhart of course) to hit a Hart Attack on Bulldog for two. Neckbreaker by Owen gets two and we hit the chinlock one more time. This is very much a stop and go kind of match as they’ll get going and then stop for a chinlock etc.

Bulldog fights up and they hit head to head. There’s a tag to Hart but Neidhart had the referee distracted. Heel miscommunication puts Anvil down and there’s the tag to the champion. He beats up both guys while Bulldog just watches on. What a nice partner he is. Russian Leg Sweep gets two on Owen and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. He actually gets the Sharpshooter but Neidhart makes the save. Off to the Bulldog again and everything breaks down. Bulldog gets a small package, Neidhart turns it over, Bret turns it over again and Bulldog pins Owen to end it.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a lot of the rest holds and give it a bit better ending then this would be a much better match. Still though not a bad match at all and I thought it was pretty good. With these four it’s hard not to have a good match. Neidhart was the worst of these four but he’s certainly watchable in the ring. Decent match but could have been much better.

And now, it’s time for Doink and Dink. This isn’t looking like a great tape so far. They run around the WWF Studios playing pranks on people. I hate my life. Oh sweet goodness they’re going to do more of this later.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Same show again and Razor is champion. Razor has some fat guy with him that I don’t recognize. Ah apparently that’s his guest manager for this match. Shouldn’t he be like, a kid? Razor gives his necklaces to the ring attendant: Anthony Chimmel. I had no idea he was around back at this point. Jarrett takes a toothpick to the eye and complains about it to kill time.

Armdrag takes Razor down to start. We’re starting very, very slowly here. Jarrett does the lay on the turnbuckle thing that Shawn did better. They exchange slaps as this is dragging pretty badly. Razor gets the fallaway slam for two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. He works on the arm but gets caught by a pair of dropkicks. Make it three of them for Jarrett to take over. He always had a gorgeous dropkick.

Top rope cross body is rolled through though but Jarrett takes back over easily. Hey look it’s a chinlock. Glad to see that they’re keeping things different throughout these three matches they’ve had at this show so far. Razor gets a backslide for two as even Gorilla says he’s not going to get him here. Apparently the fat guy is named Ranger Danger. Belly to back suplex by Razor puts both guys down. Crowd is pretty dead here but not entirely dead.

Back up and a discus punch puts Jeff down. Razor is sent to the floor and looks to be cut open a bit. Wait maybe he isn’t. Ok yes he is. His hair was covering up the cut the second time. Back in and there’s ANOTHER countout. They did that at I think the 95 Rumble which hadn’t happened yet so I guess this is practice.

Rating: D. Another one of these stop and go matches that wasn’t interesting in the slightest. I still don’t get the ranger dude being out there but it was a much more confusing era back then. These two could have a great match when they tried to but this wasn’t the case here. Not much at all and really bad to say the least.

Jeff wants to keep going and Razor says sure. And there’s the Razor’s Edge maybe 8 seconds later. They couldn’t have done this without the countout??? I give up.

Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn

Well Dunn was a jobbing heel tag team that no one cared about but for some reason they were given a moderate push around this time. Also, the Whackers had jobs at this point? Really? The Bushwhackers were doing this weird nose rub thing around this time that was stupider than what they would usually do if you can imagine that. They stall forever before we actually get going.

Butch bites one of them and they do the do-see-do. A gymnastic comedy routine gets us nowhere. Apparently one is named Timothy Well. We haven’t even had a bell yet so we’re just having a big brawl here. We’re not in Albany anymore. The heels get run out of the ring and it’s time for some whacking. We get a reference to Tie Me Kangaroo Down, which was the theme song of Outback Jack. How did I not get him for OCW?

Believe it or not this match is clipped, meaning it was originally longer than it is here. The heels beat on Luck for awhile with some fast leg drops. This match is about as uninteresting as you could ask for if you didn’t get that already. Flying forearm takes Luke down for one. More double teaming follows. Well Dunn is managed by Harvey Whippleman. Butch (called Miller which I’ve never heard) comes in. Dunn’s first name is Stephen. Battering Ram, heel reversal, face reversal, pin, same ending as the other tag match.

Rating: F+. Again, this was CLIPPED. It was originally supposed to be even longer than it already was. We saw about five minutes of it and the match was boring beyond belief based on that. This is one of the worst tapes I’ve ever seen so far and we have a full 54 minutes to go at this point. Shoot me, please?

The next match is one that was on Shawn’s tape so I’m copying and pasting this.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger

This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.

Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.

Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.

Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.

Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.

Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves his annoying ass right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.

Well that killed off ten minutes so there’s that at least.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Lumberjack match here. Come on Harts: SAVE US! The lumberjacks are as usual the medium names on the roster and the majority of the upper midcard. Gorilla can’t tell if the kid that got the glasses was a boy or a girl. That amuses me for some reason. Atomic drop and a DDT for Bret as they’re starting very fast. This is before Summerslam and their cage match apparently.

Owen is sent to the floor but takes over soon thereafter. He locks on a camel clutch despite not being Middle Eastern. Doesn’t he know his stereotypes? We shift to a chinlock since it’s been a full five minutes since one of those. Jarrett gets involved and the lumberjacks get involved. Sharpshooter goes on Owen but Neidhart drills Bret. Owen covers Bret….AND PINS HIM??? He’s announced as the new champion and the heels celebrate! WHAT THE HECK???

And never mind as the referees come down to tell what happened and I think you all know what’s coming here. We actually go to instant replay here and the referee sees what happened. Bah I wanted to see the mystery Owen title reign! Naturally the match is restarted even though Owen looks good with the title on his shoulder.

We restart things and Bret sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Oh look: IT’S A CHINLOCK! Bret, you too? Cross body gets two for the champion. Wait is Owen officially champion at this point? I’m not really sure. Either way it’s back to the chinlock. Headbutt to the ribs gives Owen control and stomps away a bit. Oh and his arm is fine now.

Bret gets sent to the floor and the heels mess with him a bit. Dropkick sends Bret to the floor again and the beating is on again. Suplex gets two. How can Bret vs. Owen be boring like this? Bret fights back but gets caught by a tombstone for two. A top rope headbutt/splash misses for Owen and both guys are down.

Owen is sent into the corner and Bret adds a legdrop for two. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Gorilla doesn’t know why he’s not going for the Sharpshooter yet. Gorilla, he’s done two of the Five Moves of Doom. If he went for it already he might destroy the universe. Gorilla Monsoon wants to destroy the universe. Elbow gets two. Anvil gets on the apron and Owen accidentally drills him so Bret can roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. The match is ok but compared to their other stuff this is pretty weak. The title switch was indeed a nice shock and I’m glad they went with it at the beginning rather than at the end. Not a bad match but dude, it’s Bret vs. Owen. How is that not a guaranteed classic? Whatever I guess, as it’s easily the best match on the tape so far.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano was more or less the Kong of her day. These two had a very long running feud that actually gave us some good matches. Blayze speeds it up a bit and fires away with kicks so Nakano grabs her by the hair and spins her around in a single throw. FREAKING OW MAN! Leg drop gets one. After a short beating Blayze gets a clothesline using the top rope. That’s the extent of her offense as she gets slammed off the top and a Piledriver gets two for the challenger.

Off to a half crab/ankle lock as Nakano shouts ASK HER! It’s a reverse figure four now with Blayze facing down but Nakanko facing up. I’ve seen that before but it’s rare. Nakano is destroying her with all kinds of holds here. Suplex gets two as the crowd is SILENT. Blayze bridges up and holds said bridge despite the huge Nakano jumping down onto her ribs. That’s impressive indeed.

This has more or less been a squash so far so I’d bet a lot on Nakano losing to a German suplex. A cross body takes Nakano down but Luna Vachon, Nakano’s friend I guess, distracts her and a DDT gets two for Bull. Crucifix gets two for Alundra. Sunset flip is countered by the power of a large ass for two. Powerbomb gets two as they’ve sped this way up. Superplex is blocked by Bull (called Dumbo by Gorilla) but her guillotine legdrop finisher misses. Three dropkicks by the champions get two. And yep there’s the German out of nowhere to end it.

Rating: C+. Hey what do you know about that? Blayze got her ass handed to her for 10 minutes and then hit one move to get the win. Never at all been a fan of this style of booking as it makes the champion look really weak. The pin was clean though so points for that. Also, Bull was doing some insane stuff out there so I have to give this a good grade.

Battle Royal

20 people in this and I’d assume it’s the main event. Let’s see how many I can name: Bigelow, Yokozuna, Mabel, Typhoon…yeah this is a waste of my time. I’ll let you know as they go out. Immediately, as in less than 15 seconds after we start, they gang up on Yoko and he’s gone. IRS, the Heavenly Bodies, Backlund (pre-crazy), Headshrinkers, Smoking Gunns, 1-2-3 Kid, Adam Bomb and Jeff Jarrett are all in there. Yoko pulled out Fatu (Headshrinker) with him.

Kwang (Savio Vega in a Japanese monster gimmick) is in there too. Sparky Plugg (Hardcore Holly) is in there. I think that’s everyone. Oh and Diesel is in it too. Duke Droese is in it. I’m missing one guy. Blast it I hate when that happens. Oh it’s Nikolai Volkoff. That’s much better. Yes Volkoff made things better. That’ll never happen again.

Standard battle royal so far with the guys kicking and punching on the ropes. There goes Typhoon as we’re down to 17 I think. Diesel and Mabel go at it in a preview of the worst PPV main event of all time. Backlund puts Tom Pritchard (Heavenly Bodies) out. That leaves us with sixteen I believe. Bigelow misses a clothesline to put us down to 15. Backlund puts out another one, this time Bart Gunn.

Kid slips back under the ropes and tries to put out Kwang but this is pre-99 so he can’t beat giants yet. We hit another time freeze and as I type that Kwang and Adam Bomb go out to thin the ranks out a bit. I think we have 12 yet but that’s just a head count. I don’t see Nikolai. Diesel puts Mabel out and I think we have ten left. The fans chant for Diesel. There’s a reason he would be world champion in less than 3 months.

And just like that everyone gangs up on Diesel and he’s gone. I count 9 at this point: IRS, Holly, Droese, Backlund, Samu, Billy Gunn, Del Ray (Heavenly Body), Jarrett and the Kid. Just after I unpause the video to count them, Lane lists them off. Blast it. Oh well the tape is almost over so I can’t complain. Jarrett throws Holly out. He and IRS team up a bit and get rid of Droese.

Del Ray goes over but doesn’t hit the floor in a nice save. Irwin is out as is Del Ray, leaving us with Kid, Gunn, Backlund, Samu and Jarrett. Everyone other than Kid is on the ropes and then all four others put Samu out. The final four are Jarrett, Backlund, Billy and Kid. Sorry if I missed some eliminations but they weren’t mentioned and the camera missed them too.

Jarrett dumps Billy to get us down to three. Kid goes up top but lands on the apron and sends Jarrett out to get us down to the 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Backlund. PLEASE let Backlund win! He gets the Crossface Chickenwing on as he’s snapping again. Yep there goes the Kid and Backlund gets the win. He’s SCARY with those insane eyes.

Rating: D. I wasn’t too thrilled with this. Backlund winning wasn’t that bad but getting there indeed was. This was just incredibly boring the entire time with nothing interesting happening at all. With all the missed eliminations and the lack of star power (for the time at least) this really didn’t do anything for me in the slightest. Pretty bad match.

Overall Rating: F. Oh thank goodness this is finally over. This is easily one of the worst tapes I’ve ever sat through, which is saying a lot given that there are two Bret matches on here. I even gave some matches some ok grades, but that’s not saying much. Even the good matches are just barely ok at best with even Bret vs. Owen being dull. Boring tape that I had to pause about three dozen times to watch something more interesting. I think it was called Wrestlemania 11? Anyway, terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE, tape.