Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #26: We’ve Got Chicken Suits!

Clash of the Champions #26
Date: January 27, 1994
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attendance: 3,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is the first show after Starrcade where Flair as a face won the world title. Tonight the main event is Vader/Rude vs. Flair/Sting in an elimination match, which should be pretty good at least. Other than that this looks like a pretty lackluster show. This was a pretty decent time in WCW’s history though but things would really start to click in about a month. Then Hogan would kill it so there we go. Let’s get to it.

Standard intro video which is decent enough for what it’s supposed to do.

Gene opens us up just in front of the entrance and gets an announcement in his earpiece. He can’t believe what’s going on. It’s bad news. It’s a nightmare. It’s BOBBY HEENAN! The fans are more or less shocked but break into a WEASEL chant. This was a pretty big move actually so it’s hard to complain. He left WWF because Vince doesn’t offer medical insurance, while Turner did. Heenan had a bad neck and left so he could get it fixed.

Pretty Wonderful vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell

This is back when Scorpio was still awesome. Pretty Wonderful is Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma. This is a #1 contenders match. The Pauls have a masked manager called the Assassin, who later owned Deep South Wrestling and whose son is one Nick Patrick. Brain: I know who the Assassin is. Would you like to know? Tony: Of course. Brain: It’s the guy in the mask! I love Bobby Heenan. I truly do.

It’s nice to see Brain just jump in here and not be confused or anything. I guess he’s only on drink #1. Hot Shot by Roma to take down Bagwell. Interestingly enough Heenan is looking at what’s going on in the ring rather than on his monitor. I don’t remember any other announcers ever doing that. I still can’t get over Orndorff having a job in 1994. He would have kept one even longer had it not been for a neck injury.

I also don’t get how Roma stayed around as long as he did. What were they thinking when they made this guy a Horseman? We get a new commissioner tonight, and I’m pretty sure I remember who that is. Orndorff jumps into Scorpio’s boot and it lets Bagwell get the hot tag and clean house. After Scorpio goes to the floor we get a weird ending: Orndorff puts up his boot for Bagwell’s head to be rammed into. Bagwell blocks and in goes Roma’s head, for the pin. Yeah that’s how they won the match. Weird.

Rating: C-. Total run of the mill tag match here but it wasn’t awful. This could have been on any show other than a PPV and at least it had something of importance on it. The ending sucked which hurts it, but the other 12 minutes or so were fine. This was acceptable, which is a good term for it I guess.

Ah ok a replay shows that it was Orndorff’s knee and he had slipped something into it. That helps a lot.

Ron Simmons vs. Ice Train

Student vs. teacher here with no entrances for either guy as the bell is ringing when we come back from a break. Simmons is a heel here…I think. Yeah he is. Ice Train is a rather large man but he had little talent. Naturally I was always a fan of his. Train keeps using a 3 point stance before all of his moves. He hits the buckle, Simmons rolls him up with the trunks being held and it’s over.

Rating: N/A. Was there a point to this that I just completely missed? Simmons would be gone soon.

You can talk LIVE to Bobby Heenan after the show. Pay no attention to the *all programming is pre-recorded thing at the bottom of the screen.

Here are Steve Austin and Robert Parker. Austin is in a cowboy hat and suit jacket, much like JBL. He’s US Champion and managing Parker in his match with Flying Brian later. Austin does a funny Southern accent with a cigar in his mouth. Parker talks about a dog or something like that.

There’s a new commissioner, and it’s Nick Bockwinkle. You know, because SO many people know who that is right? Almost no reaction either, as he was from the AWA in the north so he’s perfect to introduce in Louisiana. This was just dumb, so of course they kept him on for almost two years until he legitimately forgot the name of the PPV he was on and they fired him because of it. And that’s it for this segment.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Dustin Rhodes

William Regal vs. Goldust for you young kids out there. Also, GORDON SOLIE is replacing Tony on commentary here. To anyone that has been a fan for a long time, you just smiled more than likely. Solie is clearly past his prime here as he makes some noticeable mistakes but hearing him get fired up is still great with that voice that sounds like an old aunt but he’s into things ever time, making him great for nostalgia if nothing else.

Basic feeling out process here to start as Solie talks about the body parts, including an argument with Heenan about how many vertebrae there are in the arm. Dustin works the arm and Regal does some solid selling. Keep in mind that this is Regal before he went insane on drugs and alcohol and doesn’t have a big gut and could MOVE. To prove my point, Regal nips up to get out of a wristlock. See what I mean?

Dustin does some nice stuff to outsmart Regal as this is a very technical/mat based match so far. Solie talks about the time issue which is definitely hinting at the ending already. I still can’t get over that it’s Bill Dundee as Regal’s manager. Regal gets a cobra clutch which gets him nowhere. This is a very basic match but that doesn’t mean it’s good or bad. Solie says the eternally stupid line of “they’re all the same size on the canvas.” No, not quite. Dustin is still taller than Regal, no matter what position he is.

We hit five minutes left and Regal continues to dominate. Make that four minutes. Nothing at all is happening here as we have nothing but Regal putting holds on Dustin. Dustin finally does something and it’s still not that good. Down to three minutes now as Regal stalls. Dustin of course keeps going after him while he’s on the floor, wasting like 40 seconds in the process.

Sunset flip by the British dude doesn’t work and here comes Dustin. Lariat takes him down with two minutes left. One minute left and Regal is on the floor again. Yep they’re doing that ending. Rhodes goes for the Bulldog and it gets one as the time runs out, mercifully ending this.

Rating: D. There’s a reason we don’t see more wrestling like this: IT’S BORING. That’s what this boils down to: this was boring. There was nothing at all going on here as it was mainly them just laying on the mat for about 10 minutes, Regal hiding for three and a half minutes, and maybe 90 seconds of actual wrestling. What’s the point in watching this if that’s all we’re going to get? Bad match and just boring.

Aaron Neville, some singer that no one cares about so naturally he got a bunch of singing gigs with the company. Yep, this was pointless.

Ad for Superbrawl, which for some reason was never released on VHS. I’ve never gotten that.

Maxx Payne/Cactus Jack vs. Nasty Boys

Missy Hyatt is managing the Nasty Boys, and you can make your own jokes about her knobs and how they sag. Cactus was getting more and more popular around this time, so of course he was cut as fast as possible. And there are no Cactus and Payne. They come through the crowd after a break and it’s on. It’s weird hearing Solie do commentary on a match with these guys in it.

Total brawl of course to start us off. Cactus elbow crushes Sags on the floor. We get to the point where we finally have a traditional tag match which surprises me. Sags hits a top rope cross body but Payne rolls through for two. Knobbs allegedly was a wrestling champion in the army and Payne was an amateur champion. Sure why not? NICE Double Arm DDT to Knobbs for two. Stupidly enough like a second later they just have Payne drop an elbow on Knobbs and Jack gets the pin.

Rating: D. Given who was in there, this was the best they were going to do, period. Jack was getting better every day out there but the other three have never really gotten anywhere else. This wasn’t much at all, as the matches they would have would get better when they were wild brawls. Those were rather good, unlike this.

We recap Pillman vs. Parker, which more or less is Pillman and Austin got split up (they committed the crime of being popular and talented) and Austin went with Parker while Brian went face. This somehow got a massive chicken suit involved.

Brian Pillman vs. Robert Parker

The loser has to wear a chicken suit….this weekend. Yeah for no apparent reason the chicken suit thing isn’t for about 3 days. Brian throws out KFC on his way to the ring. Parker is in regular tights which is rather disturbing. Pillman goes after Austin on the floor and gets caught because of it.

Parker runs, Pillman hits him. Repeat that about 5 times until the Boss (Big Boss Man) stops Parker from running again. And let’s repeat that just to make sure it was emphasized enough I suppose. Austin runs in and beats up Pillman as anything resembling a wrestling match is purely coincidental. More interference gets two for Parker until Boss runs off Austin, causing a rollup to beat Parker.

Rating: C-. It was entertaining, but this was just too much repetition. They kept doing the same thing over and over again which didn’t help things very much. We don’t need to see the same stuff that often to make it work, which is something that they just couldn’t get here for some reason. Entertaining though.

Ric Flair/Sting vs. Vader/Rick Rude

Sting and Rude are feuding over the International Title (WAY too long of a story to get into, but in short they had the physical NWA Title belt but weren’t part of the NWA, so they made this instead) and Flair vs. Vader is for the world title. It’s weird hearing Bobby cheer against Flair. This is under elimination rules for no adequately explained reason.

Bockwinkle is on commentary here just to continue the lack of getting it that WCW had with their authority figures until Bischoff arrived. Sting and Rude start us off and we get a feeling out process. Bobby: “We’ve got four world champions in this match and another on commentary that I managed. What do you do Tony?” Tony: “I play video games.” Total WTF moment there. Can you imagine him playing Madden or something?

Vader comes in and just annihilates Sting. Vader gets a sunset flip OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE. That was perfect looking too, which is just freaking scary. I know he’s good but at times he’s almost terrifying with what he could pull off. The mask comes off and suddenly I can see the 4 inches of his face that we’re covered. I never got the point of that mask but whatever.

Flair comes in and just beats the crap out of Vader, putting him down. Even Sting couldn’t do that earlier. If anything happens during the break we’ll show you. Since nothing is shown from the break, I would assume they stood around while performing life-affirming skits involving saying no to drugs or perhaps a song and dance routine from South Pacific. Rude is beating up Sting when we come back.

Flair comes in for the save and we get to see Rude sell an atomic drop which is worth the price of admission (this was on free TV so that’s a pointless statement) alone. Vader Bomb hits before it was called that but Race says go up again. Middle rope suplex gets almost no reaction which is odd. Top rope version gets about the same. Hey, did you know Flair was in a plane crash? Didn’t think telling us that in EVERY FLAIR MATCH EVER was enough clarification.

Vader goes after Bockwinkle, probably because he had to watch one of his matches back in the day, and I guess Flair and Vader got counted out. Flair had to be helped out. That leaves Sting vs. Rude which is almost always fun. This is just a standard 8 minute match between these two. It’s good but at the end of the day, so what? Sting gets a Rude Awakening on Rude but gets two because it’s just a neckbreaker. BIG splash from the top by Sting gets the pin. RVD has nothing on Sting from the early 90s when it came to jumping.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this got over 20 minutes worth of time and all it really boils down to is a double countout and a clean pin for Sting. It’s not bad or anything, but the lack of meaning or drama hurt it a lot. Sting was better than Rude and he beat him clean. What’s the point in watching that? The pairing was big though and it fit for a show of this magnitude so I can give it points for that. This was fine for what it was, but it’s not particularly good.

Overall Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me at all. This was a BAD period for WCW but things would pick up soon after this. For one thing, Dusty Rhodes got fired as booker and one Ric Flair took over. His first act: rehire Ricky Steamboat and have him just own everyone, setting up a clash between them that was rather good. And then Hogan showed up and got rid of all that so guys like Orndorff and Duggan could get pushed over Austin and Steamboat. Sure why not. This wasn’t much of a show and it just shows how bad the time period was for them. Not worth seeing at all really.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #25: Now Remember, It’s The World Title, Not The International Title

Clash of the Champions 25
Date: November 10, 1993
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We’re still in 1993 here which means things are pretty bad. The main event is Flair vs. Vader for the world title. We also get a second world title match with Rick Rude vs. Hawk for the WCW International Title which is something I’m not explaining in depth again. As you know, WCW in 1993 sucked so it’s probably going to do it again. There are five title matches out of seven total matches tonight. Let’s get to it.

Gene opens us up and tells us to call the Hotline to vote for Manager of the Year.

WCW International Title: Hawk vs. Rick Rude

Well at least it can’t get much worse after this one. It’s a power match to start and neither guy can get an advantage so far. Jesse brags about being on Rude’s tights as Rude is sent flying into the corner. Hawk wants a test of strength and Rude does what every heel does in this situation. He hammers on Hawk and that doesn’t do much.

Hawk doesn’t feel like selling tonight so he hits a suplex for two. They haven’t used anything that wasn’t taught on Tough Enough yet. Rude jumps into a boot in one of the most telegraphed shots I’ve ever seen. Out on the floor now and they brawl to the ultra lame double count out.

Rating: F. The match was boring, they had one move that wasn’t a shove, punch or kick and the ending was lame. What are you expecting out of this? Just not an interesting match and I have no idea why they kept giving Hawk these singles pushes as he never seemed like someone that was any good without Animal.

The Equalizer vs. The Shockmaster

Equalizer is more famous as Dave Sullivan in 1995. In short he makes David Otunga look like Kurt Angle. If there is anything good and holy in this world, this will be short. Equalizer jumps him to start and pounds away. A belly to back suplex gets two. Rude and British Bulldog might be fighting in the back. Can we go see that instead? Shocky starts no selling stuff and gets the bearhug which he drops down with for a quick pin. Thank goodness. This was nothing but it was a short nothing so it wasn’t as bad as the opener.

Colonel Parker isn’t nominated for Manager of the Year and he doesn’t care. He’s dropped Sid and picked up Steve Austin. I’d think that was an upgrade for Parker. He swears he has a restraining order against Sid and that Sid is nowhere near but Gene says he say him earlier today. Parker bails.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steven Regal

Johnny is mostly a face and is gay here. He’s also not that good yet and is challenging tonight. Badd gets the crowd going so yeah he’s full on face now. Regal isn’t sure what to do with him. Jesse thinks Regal would never cheat because he’s English. Badd speeds things way up quickly and gets a bunch of two counts to frustrate Regal. Jesse and Tony debate British royalty. You can never accuse Jesse of keeping things boring.

They speed things up again as Jesse implies Badd cross dresses. Badd really likes that headlock as he’s on his third one of the match. Regal takes him down with technical stuff but Badd speeds things up again to frustrate Regal. Regal can’t get anything going at all so far. He finally gets some European uppercuts to put Badd down for two. Butterfly suplex gets two. The thing earlier with Rude vs. Bulldog was Bulldog challenging for the title which hasn’t been accepted yet.

Regal gets caught by a big right hand and Sir William is mad. Steven is out cold but Sir William puts the foot on the rope. Badd yells about it but gets rolled up with a handful of tights (despite there no being many tights there to pull in the first place) for the pin to retain. He held that title seemingly all the time around this era so that’s no surprise at all for the most part.

Rating: B-. Fun match as Badd was moving out there and Regal was all befuddled over it. Once Badd got serious around a year from now he got totally awesome and had some great matches with guys like Brian Pillman. You could see flashes of brilliance in him at times and this was rapidly approaching it. Pretty fun match.

Steve Austin vs. Brian Pilllman

For some reason the Hollywood Blondes, an awesome tag team, were split up and this is the grudge match. Colonel Parker was responsible for it by getting in Austin’s ear and is with Austin here. Austin jumps Pillman who doesn’t get an entrance. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Austin losing control quickly. A headscissors in the ring puts Austin down and he begs off.

We go out to the floor again and Austin pounds him down. It’s so weird to see him this young and fired up. They go out to the ramp and Pillman tries a top rope splash but goes into a boot. They brawl into the ring and Austin gets something like a Stun Gun for two. Parker is worried about Sid so he keeps looking around. Austin throws on a half crab and uses the ropes. Wouldn’t that take pressure off the hold and therefore off the knee? I’ve never gotten that.

Pillman gets an elbow to the jaw to put both guys down for a bit. Steve goes up but gets crotched. Pillman tries a superplex but counters, sending Pillman appropriately flying to the mat. He manages to catch Steve coming off with a dropkick and gets a victory roll for two. A DDT gets the same as this is getting good. That means it’s probably about over too. The crucifix, a signature move of Pillman, gets countered by something like a Samoan Drop by the non-Samoan Austin.

Brian gets a cradle for a VERY close two. The fans are a bit quiet but screw them. Pillman avoids the Stun Gun but Parker pulls his feet down as he goes for something, allowing Austin to get the easy pin which might have included a handful of tights because that’s what old school heels like Austin use.

Rating: B-. Another fun match but these two needed more than ten minutes on a Clash. This could have been a huge feud over like the US Title or something but Dustin Rhodes wasn’t about to let go of that thing at this point. Austin would get it at Starrcade but this feud was long over by then. I never quite got white but I’ll chalk it up to WCW was stupid.

We go to the Battlebowl Control Center which is just a place to talk about the match and the buildup to it. Go check out my review of it if you really want to but it sucked so there isn’t much reason to do so. Orndorff says he’ll win it. Sting says he’ll win again.

US Title: Dustin Rhodes vs. Paul Orndorff

For the life of me I don’t get Orndorff’s constant pushes. He’s challenging here and has The Assassin (masked guy, started Deep South Wrestling and is Nick Patrick’s dad) with him. Dustin has his fat papa with him. The old guys (and the Assassin might be fatter) get into it pre match. The commentary is all about the old guys because the wrestlers in the ring having the match mean nothing.

Orndorff tries to cheat to start but that doesn’t go all too well. Dustin puts on a headlock on the mat while the old guys play keepaway on the floor. Jesse makes fat jokes. Orndorff grabs a hammerlock and Assassin yells encouragement. Something tells me this is going to be a very uninteresting match. Dustin counters into a top wristlock and down goes Paul. They go to the mat again and now Dustin is working on the leg.

Now it’s off to a chinlock in case those leg locks were too exciting for some viewers. Back to the armbar by Paul as Dusty is coaching. Orndorff hits a suplex and drops an elbow and BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. My goodness are they as bored as I am here? Backslide gets two for Dustin as does a lariat. Orndorff takes over again and mixes things up by putting a knee in the back on his chinlock. Dustin gets a clothesline for two. There’s nothing going on between these moves. Bulldog is blocked and Paul tries his piledriver. After a bit of boring stuff, Dustin small packages him for the pin.

Rating: F. I’m sorry but what was the point of this? It was about 11 minutes of nothing but chinlocks and rest holds. None of the arm or leg work ever went anywhere and the whole match was incredibly boring. No one was interested in the match either, which is true for the majority of Dustin’s run in WCW. Goldust was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Dusty and Assassin get into it post match and Orndorff can’t pick Dusty up for the piledriver. Dustin makes the save and somehow Dusty has the US Title at the end of it.

Keep voting for Manager of the Year.

Tag Titles: Sting/British Bulldog vs. Nasty Boys

The heels have Missy Hyatt and the belts here. Sting vs. Knobbs starts us off in a big brawl. Smith and Sags are on the ramp and Rude sneaks down to give Smith the Rude Awakening. Hawk comes out to chase Rude off and it’s more or less a handicap match now. All of that was pre-match. Oh great. Smith is more or less out so Sting officially starts with Knobbs.

Sting beats them both up and is in there with Sags now. He can’t keep the advantage though because he keeps going over to check on Smith who is still down. Sting gets a cover but the referee is with Missy, as so many others probably have been. The Nasties start double teaming and Sags throws him over the top which isn’t a DQ because the referee is still with Missy.

Knobbs suplexes him back in for two. It’s bearhug time as Smith is actually on his feet now. It only took him five minutes off one neckbreaker. Now THAT is some selling. Sting gets out with a belly to belly but Sags breaks up the tag again. Back to the chinlock by Knobbs as this is needing to end. Sting breaks it up and there’s a double tag to Sags vs. Smith. Smith cleans house and seems to be perfectly fine. He hits a bunch of double team moves including a double DDT. Smith throws Sting onto both of them and hits a falling slam (not a powerslam) to Knobbs but Sags drops a top rope elbow on him for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here and the kind of clean pin was a good thing for the champions to get here in a match they probably should have lost on paper. The match was boring though as Sting dominated the whole time and then got caught in chinlocks galore. It wasn’t a good match or anything so the whole thing was pretty dull overall. Sting is always worth seeing though, especially for his big fans like myself.

Colonel Parker is talking to Flair and says Austin wants to face the winner of the main event for the world title.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Vader

Flair is challenging. Remember that this is the WORLD Title rather than the International Title. By the way as I’m sure you realize, this is the Starrcade main event a month before Starrcade. Buffer gives us some big match intros. We come back from a break and see Flair putting Race in the Figure Four but leaves himself wide open to a splash, giving Vader an early advantage.

It’s all Vader to start and he hits the Vader Bomb about a minute in. Flair isn’t in purple tonight so he’s not quite his best. He shrugs off some punches and chops away and stomps Vader down in the corner. And never mind as Vader does that standing avalanche thing and the pain continues. We go outside where Race gets some payback for earlier. Vader misses a splash against the railing and Sting is smiling somewhere.

Flair goes up AND HITS THE SHOT ON VADER!!! Maybe it’s something about jumping to the floor. Flair is all fired up inside now and chops Vader down which is something that you didn’t see ever. On the other hand you often see Vader kicking people in the face which is what he does here. A middle rope elbow misses and Flair gets a sloppy Figure Four. Race however reaches in to rake the eyes and break up the hold.

Jesse thinks it’s insightful that Race is a better second on the floor than Fifi. Vader suplexes him and gets a splash for two. He’s getting mad and even cusses a bit which is a bit more extreme in 93. We get our second Flair Flip of the match and our second Flair shot off the top of the same match. Vader clocks the referee by mistake and Flair goes up again. This time he jumps into Vader and is put up top again.

A superplex off the top hits but both guys are down. Vader is up but won’t cover. Instead he sets for the moonsault but Flair moves, even though Vader would have missed by a foot or so. Flair covers for the pin and the title??? And it’s a Dusty Finish because of the clothesline that took the referee out.

Rating: B. These two know how to make something epic and they did it here with limited time. They would have a better match at Starrcade but they had almost twenty extra minutes so that helps a lot. Not a classic like the rematch but this set up the Saturday Night match which was supposed to set up Sid vs. Vader but that fell through so there you are.

Austin comes out for the beatdown but Dustin makes the save. Flair wants a tag match and promises Sid as his partner. Parker says ok.

Overall Rating: C. Shockingly not a horrible show as the 93 date would imply otherwise. It’s not a classic and there’s nothing worth seeing but it’s miles better than the horrible Battlebowl show which was a Vader love fest. The opening hour is bad but the main event is a bit better, namely with the Battle of the Blondes and the main event. Not worth seeing though.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #24: Seriously, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???

Clash of the Champions 24
Date: August 18, 1993
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,903
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

Since I only have six of these to go in total, I think it’s time for an old fashioned marathon. I’ll knock these out as fast as I can so I’ll finally be done with this series. It’s only taken me a few years so we might as well get it done. This is from late 93 which is about as awful as WCW ever got, if you can possibly fathom that. The main event is Vader vs. Davey Boy for the title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about a Flair For The Gold with the WarG……..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh we’ve got something VERY special coming up later on. You just wait.

Brian Pillman is injured so Steven (William) Regal is replacing him in the tag title defense.

Tag Titles: Steven Regal/Steve Austin vs. Arn Anderson/Paul Roma

Anderson vs. Austin to start. Arn’s white trunks seem to grow every year. Austin pounds him down as Jesse complains about Regal being part of the blondes now. The Horsemen take over to the audience’s delight. Austin gets launched over the top but it’s momentum or whatever. How does that even work? YOU THREW HIM OVER, so why isn’t it a DQ? They brawl to the floor for a bit and Austin brings Regal back in.

Roma, the biggest excuse ever for a Horsemen, and that includes Mongo, comes in and works on Regal’s arm. He speeds things up but Austin trips Roma (who looks a lot like Ricky Steamboat in the long white tights) to give the champs the advantage. Both guys take turns on Roma as this is going nowhere. Austin goes into the buckle but Roma doesn’t tag because he’s an idiot.

Austin gets him into the corner so Anderson, allegedly the best tag wrestler ever, tries to come in. Roma gets the required rollup but there’s no referee of course. Roma hits Austin’s Stun Gun and both guys are down. Regal breaks up a tag and we get the “face makes a tag but it doesn’t count so the heels change without one and it does count” deal. Roma gets a dropkick and there’s the tag to Anderson. The place ERUPTS too. Everything breaks down and a miscue by Regal’s manager lets Arn grab a rollup for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This was already better than any match on the previous Clash. Austin would go on and start a US Title feud in a few months while the Horsemen faded away. This was during the Disney Tapings era, so the Nasty Boys had already been filmed as champions. The titles would change at Fall Brawl, which is another reason why this was an awful time for the company. They would tape MONTHS worth of shows in advance and that was it. All the mystery was gone and no one gave an effort because of it, which is stupid. Imagine if that had happened to Punk in 2011.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Bobby Eaton

This should be SWEET. On top of that we get the Midnight Express theme. Scorpio is one of my old favorites and he’s young and awesome at this point. Eaton is heel here I guess. Scorpio gets a nice spinning sunset flip for two but Eaton clotheslines him down. Scorpio runs the corner and hits a top rope cross body and grabs an armbar. A regular cross body misses and Bobby takes over.

Eaton hooks a hammerlock down onto the mat. This hasn’t exactly been the high flying spectacle I was expecting. Even Jesse points out that this isn’t what he expected. Scorpio counters and sets him into a superplex position. Instead of using that though, while standing on the top he jumps up and dropkicks Eaton to the floor and adds a plancha. Cool sequence. Eaton hits a neckbreaker back inside to take over. Top rope elbow (why not the Alabama Jam?) gets two. And never mind as Scorpio takes him down and the 450 (called a 360 by Tony) sends both knees into Eaton’s chest for the pin.

Rating: C. I love Scorpio so I’m not going to complain much about this. Good match I guess but they didn’t really hit a level that I was expecting. To be fair though Eaton was just a jobber to the stars and the match wasn’t bad or anything. Just kind of disappointing I guess. Scorpio would get a two week tag title reign later in the year.

Max Payne vs. Johnny B. Badd

Payne stole the Badd Blaster (a confetti cannon) and shot Badd in the face with it so Badd’s face is burned and he’s wearing a mask. This is mask vs. Norma Jean, which is what Max calls his guitar. Max jumps him and drops an elbow into the boas. Jesse: “Right into the boas Tony!” Johnny fires back with punches but the cross body is ducked. This is power vs. speed.

Payne rips off the mask but Badd is wearing another one. Tony’s total lack of shock kills the surprise. There’s a hammerlock slam which is supposed to set up his Fujiwara Armbar finisher but Badd escapes with a small package. Well he did say he used steroids didn’t he? Payne misses a middle rope splash and Badd steals the pin. Well that was nothing. Too short to rate.

Badd says he’s going to unmask on Saturday Night. He’d look the same.

It’s time for A Flair For The Gold, which is Flair’s talk show. THIS IS IT!!! This has an actual set which looks like a living room. Flair comes in through the door and has Fifi his French maid walk around a bit. He brings out his guests, Sting and the British Bulldog. They’re here to talk about WarGames and the place is WAY into this. Flair was a face at this point and was as popular as he’d been in the 90s.

Sid and Harlem Heat, three of the four opponents for WarGames show up. They want to know who the mystery partner is. Sting says the line of “prepare to be shocked, because our partner is none other than THE SHOCKMASTER!”

And here it is: the absolute dumbest, stupidest, worst and completely lowest point for WCW. An explosion goes off (remember this is LIVE) and a wall bursts open. Shockmaster falls over part of the wall, knocking off his glittery Stormtrooper helmet. He tries as hard as he can to put it back on (after revealing to anyone paying attention that he’s Tugboat/Typhoon from WWF, making him a total failure anyway) and finally gets back on his feet.

The whole segment is a total joke now as the fans don’t know what to make of this. Bulldog and Harlem Heat are dying of laughter and try to hide it but you can here the covered laughter very clearly. Shockmaster finally gets it together and with Ole Anderson providing the voice, he says Sid has ruled the world long enough and asks if Sid wants a piece of him. Now keep in mind the voice: he sounds like a cross between a really bad Power Rangers villain and the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin. On top of that, he says Dusty Rhodes will be on their team in WarGames. It would actually be DUSTIN, not Dusty. And it’s over.

I mean WOW. What people seem to overlook is how bad this was going to be no matter what. Answer this: what exactly is a Shockmaster? It sounds like a static electricity prevention thing you would see in a store labeled As Seen On TV. Second, it’s Fred Ottman under the mask. When did anyone ever see the “Sailing Superstar” and think this guy deserved a huge push? Third, it’s a glitter covered Star Wars helmet. Just add all this up and think about how bad it would have been WITHOUT the famous part. Now add that in and look at what you have. My goodness it’s amazing that they stayed in business.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff is champion. Tony and Jesse crack up laughing about what we just saw. This gets big match intros too. Interesting trivia note: the TV Title is the belt that would become the Cruiserweight Title but with a different nameplate. And there go the lights. It looks like a late 80s show now with most of the crowd being covered in darkness. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a top wristlock. Steamboat bridges out of it and that looked AWESOME.

Steamboat misses a dive and lands on the ramp where Paul takes over. A top rope elbow to the head gets two. A slam gets a bunch of two counts and it’s the second chinlock of the match so far. We hear about Flair vs. Sting for the NWA Title this coming Saturday night which is almost an afterthought here. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and a top rope chop gets two, as does a regular one.

A big chop sends Orndorff to the floor but again it’s not a DQ. Steamboat busts out a huge dive which gets a nice reaction. Ten years later it would have gotten a huge pop. Orndorff tries a bunch of covers and Jesse hands him the TV Title for some reason. He drops it and tries the piledriver but Steamboat reverses and here’s a sweet pinfall reversal sequence. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two. Orndorff tries to slam Steamboat and apparently he never watched Mania III because in the same ending, Steamboat rolls through into a cradle for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Eh not bad here but slower paced than most would like. It could have been a lot worse though, which is the right idea. Steamboat was in the role of veteran that people really respected and could still pull out a good match when asked to, namely due to pure raw talent. Good match but nothing great. At least it got the title off Orndorff though.

Orndorff piledrives him on the belt on the ramp post match.

Harley Race and the Kongs (two very fat guys in masks who were worthless) say that they’re coming for Flair and Sting.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Colossal Kongs

Sting clears house on his own, easily slamming both guys like it’s nothing. Race freaks out, shouting about how it’s impossible. It’s a big brawl and Flair goes to the floor with one of them. Sting casually beats one of them up, hits the Stinger Splash and a top rope splash for the pin as Flair beats up Race. Total and complete domination.

Sting and Flair say they’ll renew their feud on Saturday for the title.

Rick Rude/The Equalizer vs. Dustin Rhodes/???

It’s a mystery partner. This feud has gone on for about 5 months now and has yet to get interesting. It’s mainly Rude vs. Rhodes but Rude brought in the Equalizer to equalize things. He’s more famous as Dave Evad Sullivan and is AWFUL. Rhodes’ partner is going to come out in some car that the fans can win. And it’s Road Warrior Animal. Rude panics and yells at him as Hawk comes up from behind. He’s the real partner. Not exactly a point to the switch but whatever.

The fans are fired up and it’s Hawk vs. Rude to start us off. They go to a test of strength which Hawk easily wins. Off to Equalizer who gets dropkicked to the floor almost immediately. Hawk tries his neckbreaker and Equalizer falls down, drawing some laughter from the crowd. Rude comes back in and we hit the chinlock but Hawk counters into an electric chair position for a Doomsday Device with Dustin playing Hawk.

Rude beats Dustin down and swivels at Hawk. Some heel miscommunication allows the tag to Hawk and it doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Hawk launches Rude at Equalizer and everything breaks down. As the referee is putting Rude out, Equalizer goes to slam Dustin. Hawk comes off the top to shoulder block both of them down and Dustin gets the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get what Hawk adds to anything here. To be fair though, it’s not like he ever meant anything after about 1991 anyway. Not a terrible match but they needed something more interesting than Dustin vs. Rude. The US Title would FINALLY go to Dustin soon after this.

WCW World Title: Davey Boy Smith vs. Vader

Buffer says the DQ rule is waved, but doesn’t mention that he means if Vader gets disqualified he loses the title. Also note that this is the WCW Title and not the NWA World Title. They would be unified next year thank goodness. Race is Vader’s manager. After a break they get into it on the ramp with Bulldog being clotheslined down. Smith shows off INSANE power with a delayed vertical out there.

We go back into the ring but Smith’s slingshot splash gets knees. They go to the floor quickly and Vader accidentally splashes the railing ala Sting. A slam gets two back inside. Vader slows things down and goes after the knee. Samoan Drop puts Smith down and a moonsault misses. Smith gets a sunset flip for two. A splash onto the back puts Smith down and he’s in trouble.

Time for a chinlock to eat up a few moments. Davey manages to come back and hooks a crucifix, which was one of his finishers but it only gets two here. Vader pounds him down in the corner and goes up again, only to get crotched. Back inside it’s Davey’s turn to pound him down. Vader gets in a boot though and the Vader Bomb gets two. The champ comes off the top but jumps into the powerslam, knocking down the referee in the process. Smith tries another powerslam but Race pulls the leg and Vader falls on top for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent power match but I wasn’t thrilled with it. Smith’s style wasn’t all that great to mesh with Vader’s. It took someone with more speed or just an all out brawler for that to work, and it really didn’t click here. Still though, this was a decent main event, but the lack of star power really hurt things.

Cactus Jack makes his return with 15 seconds left and takes Vader down. The reaction is there but the time isn’t so we’re done.

Overall Rating: D. Not their best work but you have a classic comedy moment to check out so it’s worth something for that. This era was just awful for the company but brighter days were coming soon. The problem in short was that the stories just weren’t interesting and the two titles were a bad idea at this point. To be fair though, a lot of that can be blamed on the NWA. Not the worst show ever, but other than Shockmaster it’s not worth watching.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #23: Horsemen vs. Blondes

Clash of the Champions 23
Date: June 16, 1993
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

GAH I can’t get away from this time period in WCW can I? This really is an awkward phase for the company as they were really transitioning from the NWA days to their own world. The problem was that no one knew what their own world was. Hogan would show up in about a year though to at least give the company direction.

This is a mere three days after Hogan left WWF in case you were wondering. The main event is Flair and Anderson vs. the Hollywood Blondes for the tag belts so there you are. Let’s get to it.

Flair is back. Orndorff is hurt. Good to know.

Ron Simmons vs. Dick Slater

This was supposed to be Simmons vs. Orndorff but the injury stopped that. Simmons is over as all goodness. I’m skeptical about a guy named Dirty Dick. Who in their right mind decided to book Orndorff as a champion in the mid 90s? Simmons is a former world champion and Slater is Slater so what do you think is going to happen here? Orndorff botches interference and there’s your powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D. Nowhere near enough time to be anything here. It was supposed to be a big title match I guess but at the end of the day, Dick Slater was a joke to say the least and against Simmons it was going to be domination and that’s all it ever could be.

We go to Larry and Eric who talk to….Michael Buffer??? They’re interviewing the ring announcer for crying out loud. Oddly enough he comes off like he knows what he’s talking about instead of like he’s reading generic lines off a script. Most interesting indeed.

Steven Regal vs. Marcus Bagwell

If you’re not familiar with them go with their last names. For the life of me I can’t get over that Bill Dundee is Sir William. Seeing Regal in something resembling shape is amazing. Seeing Bagwell as a guy without an attitude is even more amazing. He’s the rookie wonder at this point so this was a big match for him. He’s in some joke of a tag team with Scorpio at this point. Oh and there’s an NWA Title match tonight.

They’ll be gone in less than three months. Jesse says rugby is tougher than football. And to think I would have voted for him for President. Regal has barely been here at all so Bagwell might be more known. Oh dear. They announce that on Saturday a woman will be in Cleveland looking for Cactus Jack.

If you ever want to see what might be the dumbest storyline in WCW history, and let that sink in for a minute, look that one up. Scratch that about Regal. This is just his first live TV match. Regal gets a rollup out of nowhere to get the pin….to a big pop? Well that was different.

Rating: C+. Uh, yeah. This was over before it started and I barely remember it happening to be honest. I know that’s weird to say but it was almost over before it even started in my mind. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at the same time there wasn’t much here. Decent stuff though.

Maxx Payne has stolen the Badd Blaster from Johnny. Oh dear. He says he wants respect. And Payne blasts it in his face. Aww poor Johnny looking all screwed up now.

There was supposed to be a match here but now Payne wins by forfeit. Z-Man, one of the most interesting cases ever, comes out to beat up Maxx for what he did. Z-Man is the guy that worked for WWF in the late 80s, actually opening Mania 3 with Rick Martel in the team that would become Strike Force after he left. He more or less was fine one day and quitting the next, allegedly over money. He was ok in WCW but would likely be gone soon after this. He winds up tapping anyway.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

This could be bad but it could be good. Windham was just holding the title for a little while before Flair got it back in about a month. Jesse asks what kind of name Scope is. Jesse brings up that he was in the Navy and Norfolk is a naval town so he’s happy here. No one believes Windham has any chance of losing here as Scorpio was young, talented and over so of course the NWA can’t let him have the belt. That’s Flair’s belt dang it.

Jesse wants to know who Jordan is betting on tonight. That’s a great line. Scorpio kicks out of a leaping, and I use that term loosely, DDT. Hey! Wanna know how Badd is? Call the Hotline and find out! Yes, we’ll not only give out private medical records, we’ll charge you for them! Windham punches the heck out of Scorpio and this is pretty one sided.

Fans are into it though so that works. In a very cool move, Scorpio is on the apron and hits a slingshot, note that it’s not a springboard, 450. Scorpio’s comeback is very good but in the end he gets caught just like you would expect him to. The Leaping DDT ends it.

Rating: B. This was way better than it should have been. When Scorpio wasn’t fat and was actually motivated, he could go with anyone and that’s what he did here. Solid match all around although the ending sucked to a fairly large extent just out of boringness.

Bischoff is with Sting, Dustin Rhodes and Davey Boy Smith who are in a big six man tonight. They talk to the people they don’t like. Simple and not very effective. Sting gets a huge pop.

Vader/Sid/Rick Rude vs. British Bulldog/Sting/Dustin Rhodes

This should be train wreckish. Vader is world champion here in case you were wondering. Sting is as over as is humanly possible. It’s bordering on scary. Sting and Rude start it off and the heat is great. Apparently Rude stole the US Title and won’t give it back. Oh I remember this: there was no champion for like four months and WCW saw nothing wrong with this at all.

Sting is beating up all three guys at once. That’s just amusing. We have Sid vs. Bulldog now, which would have been a showdown in 1992 WWF to say the least. In a cool looking sequence, Dustin just beats the living tar out of Vader and beats him down. Now I haven’t seen this since it aired, but I would bet anything on the heels winning, just based on WCW’s booking. It’s been about 6-7 minutes of domination so the other team will win in the end. I mean the heels have had NOTHING.

Ah there we go: Vader beats up Goldust. Those two followed each other over the years for some reason. They feuded in WWF and were the mystery opponents brought in to fight Austin at a Cyber Sunday. The Vader Bomb hits but it means nothing yet. Dustin is taking a beating here, meaning he’ll be fine soon enough.

Yep, I didn’t even finish that line before his comeback. See how predictable this company is? LET THE SCREW UPS BEGIN! Race hits Dustin with the briefcase that the US belt is in and Rude gets the pin. Yep I was right again.

Rating: D+. This was your standard main event level tag match. It’s not like anything was settled here and it’s not like it was anything great. Decent enough stuff though I guess. It set up the later matches and showdowns if nothing else, but it was way too predictable.

Tag Titles: Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Hollywood Blondes

I have NO clue what that music the challengers are coming out to. This is Flair’s first match back in WCW. The Blonds really were underrated. Buffer does the big match intro and this is 2/3 falls. Flair gets a solid but not incredibly loud yet LONG pop. The Blonde have over 100 title defenses? Apparently this is for the NWA tag titles also. Oh that’s right they’re unified at this point. Oh wait that’s not right.

It’s just that no one cared about the NWA. That’s right. They’ve had 100 defenses in just over three months? That’s most impressive. This had actually gotten some build with the rather funny Flair for the Old segment setting this up. Good night Flair is over. How could they not just run Flair vs. Sting and made a boat load of money? See Hogan, Hulk. Flair gets a massive pop and it’s Flair vs. Austin. If this was five years later, the money for that match would have financed a small country.

To my complete and utter shock, Anderson works on the arm. This is very solid stuff here with the faces dominating for the majority of the match but not all of it which is a nice perk. Anderson is beaten down with the champions working on the knee. Flair gets the red hot tag even though nothing is going to end here. Flair gets the pin on Pillman off a quick shot. This is formula tag stuff but it’s working well.

Jesse points out how bad it was of the challengers to go 2/3 falls as they would be champions otherwise. Jesse is absolutely right. They’re working on Arn’s knee quite well so they’re thinking this one out I guess. Flair gets another hot tag and goes for the Figure Four on Austin but here’s Windham for the DQ.

And it’s a Dusty Finish as even though they won two straight falls, the titles can’t change hands on a DQ. Paul Roma runs down for the save. Oy vey. Windham says he’ll be ready for Flair. The match wound up sucking as NO ONE bought Windham as a world champion.

Rating: B+. If this has a clean finish it’s an A- minimum. Just a great old school tag match between two great teams. It’s nearly twenty minutes too so it got a lot of time and it paid off. WCW did manage to realize when they had a good match ready to go and could let them just do it and that’s what they did here.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show I thought. They set up the Beach Blast PPV pretty well although it had a month to go so it wasn’t all ready yet. It’s fun to be able to see the build and the payoff for it though as I’ve reviewed the PPV as well. Either way this was solid stuff with some good matches, although the show does drag a bit at times. Still worth checking out though.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #22: It’s WCW, It’s From 1993 And It’s….Good?

Clash of the Champions 22
Date: January 13, 1993
Location: The Mecca, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Well this is it. This is the 9th level of torment. It’s the absolute greatest form of torture in recorded history. This, is WCW in 1993. I’ll wait for your hearts to start beating again. WCW was great at times, but when they were bad sweet merciful crap they were bad. This is some of their worst. The main event is an 8 man cage match pitting the evil team against the good team. That’s not a simple way of putting it. That’s what they say in the opening video. Let’s get this over with so we can move on to something more pleasant like a root canal.

Tony and Cowboy Bill Watts open the show as Watts talks about the old days because having the actual boss on TV was something that WCW thought was a good idea for no apparent reason at all.

Van Hammer is hurt and off the main event tonight but there’s going to be a replacement named Vinnie Vegas for the arm wrestling contest that Van Hammer is in. No mention is made of him not being in the main event. The arm wrestling thing is big news though baby!

Erik Watts, Bill’s son, has been arrested. Dang they’re not hiding anything here are they? Bill: Erik has always been like my son. Maybe because he is your son you stupid, stupid man. Erik is suspended tonight. He happens to be here for an interview though and the booing is really loud. He was supposed to fight Cactus Jack and can barely talk. Erik was a guy that was supposed to be awesome, but only his dad thought that. He was absolutely terrible so Bill put him on the upper midcard because he could.

Ross and Ventura open the show and talk about the main event like sane people would do. This was one of JR’s last major shows so Eric was about to take over.

Cactus Jack vs. Johnny B. Badd

Cactus, a heel, gets a noticeable face pop. Badd is rather effeminate tonight to put it mildly. This stems off of Starrcade 92 where they were Lethal Lottery partners and they brawled to lose the match. Jesse points out that there are signs for Cactus Jack everywhere and it makes him wonder what is wrong with these people.

Naturally Cactus makes it a brawl (aww why not MAKE IT A WIN?) but Badd wrestles him which works far better for him. Oddly enough he’s a brawler by nature who is wrestling to his advantage. That says a lot about Jack’s brawling abilities. Small package gets one for Badd. Top rope sunset flip doesn’t connect and Cactus drops an elbow for the pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: C. This was confusing to say the least as Cactus had gotten very over all of a sudden and WCW wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with it. Not a bad match but it was a very quick match so it’s not like you could say much about it at all. Fun little match though and the face pop is interesting if nothing else.

There’s a new NWA Champion and his name is the Great Muta. He won it at the WCW/NJPW Supershow III which I recently reviewed.

We get more or less a music video of 2 Cold Scorpio which shifts into a PSA and then back into a video. And hey he’s in the ring. Oh never mind it’s a highlight video now. I won’t get tired of Scorpio in the ring though so this is fine by me.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Scott Flamingo

It’s an ECW preview match here as Flamingo would change species later as he turned into Raven. Scorpio spins out of some stuff and we have an early standoff. He likes to use a lot of cartwheels. We head to the floor early with Flamingo taking a flying shot to the back. Back in with Scotty getting a nice running dropkick before a dive over the top to the floor, taking out the Cold dude.

Small package gets two for Scorpio but he’s in trouble so far. We hit the chinlock as they need a bit of a break. Scorpio speeds things up a bit again and hits the Tumbleweed for two. A spinning legdrop in the corner sets up the original 450 to end this though. Far better than you would expect.

Rating: B. This was just four minutes but DANG it was a good four minutes. Scorpio is a guy I’ve always liked and this was no exception at all. He looked great out there and Flamingo was no slouch either. They were both MOVING out there in a match that would have been a good Cruiserweight match about five years later. Good stuff.

What the heck? This show was supposed to suck remember.

Video on Thundercage which is the main event tonight. In essence it’s Hell in a Cell. We hear about how Rude is out with an injury and Team Vader needed a replacement. Cactus and Orndorff had a match with the winner getting the spot. Jack took out Vader’s manager and got jumped during the match by Vader, more or less pushing him to the brink of a face turn without actually going the other way. Later in the night Cactus drilled all of them with a shovel. Dang I want to watch Halloween Havoc 93 and the Texas Death Match now. If you don’t get it, Cactus in 93 was AWESOME.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Benoit

This is more or less Benoit’s debut. He had a one night appearance back in a tag tournament but that’s more or less forgotten here. Armstrong is an incredibly solid wrestler that most people haven’t seen much of which is a shame. We hear about how Benoit survived the Dungeon so they know he’s good. To give you an idea of how good Armstrong is, he’s not only keeping up with Benoit but he’s even beating him to a degree in technical style.

To the surprise of no one we’re on the mat with more or less a test of strength going on. Benoit powers up in a bridge and Jesse is impressed. Armstrong does the same thing as this is good stuff so far. Some moron shouts boring and is promptly booed out of the building. Armstrong gets a nice reversal to send Benoit to the floor. Back in Armstrong hits some more dropkicks and back to the arm. Basic stuff but well done so far.

Benoit gets the suplex drop onto the top rope as he’s pretty firmly in control at the moment. Benoit gets a running springboard clothesline (think the dropkick that Jericho does and the cross body that Christian does) to Armstrong on the apron to take us to the floor. It’s very clear that this is pre-steroids for the pre-Crippler. Snap suplex gets two.

Armstrong gets a knee in but it gets him nowhere as Benoit hooks a backbreaker to get himself out of trouble. Diving headbutt misses though and here comes Armstrong. And never mind as Benoit hooks the Dragon Suplex out of nowhere (full nelson suplex) to get the pin. Sweet bridge on the pin.

Rating: B. I really liked this one but then again when you have two talented guys out there this is what you get. Nice little story being told as Armstrong was able to beat Benoit with basic stuff but once they cranked things up Benoit was far too much for him. It shows that Benoit can turn on the jets and blow people away, which is a good sign for him in this impressive debut.

We get some clips of the Rock N Roll Express in Smokey Mountain Wrestling which is pretty much brand new at this point. They’re going to be at Superbrawl which is one of WCW’s first steps into cross-promotional. We see them beating the Heavenly Bodies for the Smokey Mountain Tag Titles. Ok so we don’t see the title change and the clip just kind of ends. Ok then.

Jesse is in the ring to do his arm wrestling thing. This was a worked tournament thing he did which went nowhere. Van Hammer, the winner of the tournament, is hurt though so it’s Tony Atlas vs. Vinnie Vegas, more commonly known as Kevin Nash. Nash is allegedly left handed so we’ll use the left arms. Atlas sounds like he’s in labor and Nash wins after a LONG contest that the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with.

Back from a break with Vader’s challenge to Sting for the White Castle of Fear. This is just Vader standing in snow instead of the official video which is Sting in a helicopter and going to a party with more or less S&M, an orgy and midgets. It was indeed weird but it was WCW in 1993 so there you go.

Larry Zbyszko talks about the tournament for the #1 contender spot to the US Title. The finals turned out to be Dustin Rhodes vs. Ricky Steamboat but since Rude was injured the finals became for the title instead of the title shot with Rhodes winning the belt. We get clips of all four first round matches, none of which are anything special at all. We throw in clips of the semi-finals just because they can.

Wrecking Crew vs. Johnny Gunn/Tom Zenk

One of the Wrecking Crew is a dead ringer for Animal and upon further review yeah it’s his brother. Gunn is Tom Brandi who some of you may have heard of but if not he’s not worth looking up. Rage starts for the Wrecking Crew against Z-Man. This is power vs. speed with speed clearing the ring to start. HUGE dive by Gunn to take down both guys on the floor. That was sweet looking!

Heel miscommunication gets a rollup for two for Gunn. The Wrecking Crew takes over with basic power stuff as this isn’t much at all. A facejam by Gunn brings in Zenk. We get a really awkward spot as Fury was supposed to charge out of the corner into a backdrop but he just stopped, making Zenk look like an idiot. I mean more of an idiot than he typically does.

The referee ducks a clothesline and the Wrecking Crew continues to take over. Z-Man (they use that name and Zenk interchangeably) gets a boot up to block an axe handle off the middle rope and Gunn comes in. Forearm/clothesline takes down Fury who has been in there forever. And then a shot to the back of Gunn results in a move called the Wrecking Ball where Fury gets Gunn over his shoulder and Rage jumps off with a forearm smash to end it.

Rating: D. This was really rather weak and definitely the worst match of the night so far. This wasn’t anything special at all with the Wrecking Crew more or less disappearing after this and Zenk/Gunn never meaning anything at all. Pretty weak match that went nowhere at all but at least it was only about six minutes long.

Larry Z talks to the Hollywood Blondes and their title match against Steamboat/Douglas up next. They aren’t called the Blondes yet but it’s coming.

Sting comes out and accepts Vader’s challenge. Simmons and Rhodes, his partners tonight, say they’re not worried.

Vader’s team says they’re ready for a handicap match. Race says they’ll get back at Cactus Jack eventually, which resulted in a really stupid angle which resulted in a really good match. They beat up Barbarian because he’s Jack’s friend to make it 3-3 because they’re very stupid.

We get highlights from the first two SuperBrawls to give us a reason to buy the third one. The show wound up being not bad. This eats up a few minutes. Ok make that several minutes.

Steamboat and Douglas say they’ll keep the titles. They’re the Unified Tag Champions which was something far too complicated that crippled WCW in the second half of 92 but hey, whatever the NWA says goes right?

Unified Tag Titles: Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman

Both teams are in the ring when we get back. The time limit is thirty minutes here instead of the usual hour which allegedly is going to cause faster pin attempts. Steamboat and Austin start us off and do I need to explain to you why this is awesome? Steamboat and Douglas send the Blondes to the floor almost immediately as this is going to be fast paced for sure.

Steamboat won’t shake Austin’s hand so Austin pounds on him. Off to Pillman and we unleash the chops. Shane comes in off the top as we talk about Bruno Sammartino for some reason. The champions tag in very quickly and Pillman hurts his knee on a leapfrog attempt. Stu Hart trained him though so of course he’s faking. He tries a springboard cross body but gets the heck powerslammed out of him by Shane for two.

Shane works on Austin’s arm as the future bald man is in trouble. Brian breaks up a pin as this is completely one sided. Steamboat throws Pillman onto Austin and Stone Cole is in trouble. Finally the challengers take over off a suplex and some double teaming. They work over Steamboat’s back with a slam on the floor. Steamboat manages a sunset flip but Austin has the referee.

Ricky drills Pillman to put him into the steel but Austin saves the tag with a suplex for two. Steamboat counters a body vice but his back is hurt pretty badly at this point. Pillman sets for his springboard clothesline but down goes Austin as Steamboat ducks. A double chop STILL can’t bring in Douglas but Ricky gets a belly to back to Pillman to put both of them down.

FINALLY the hot tag brings in Douglas and the beating is on. That’s good as the roof is now off. Dropkicks and clotheslines all around as Steamboat is amazingly up after about three seconds. Belly to belly out of nowhere drills Pillman but Austin (illegally) comes off the top (screw you Bill Watts) but it only gets two. Austin is finally like screw this and drills Shane with the belt for the DQ and a bunch of blood. Big heel beatdown follows and they leave with the stolen belts. They would get them for real in a few months.

Rating: B+. Fun match all the way around as they played the NWA formula to the letter here. You can often tell how good someone is when they can have great tag matches and this is a great example of that. They put on a great show here and the whole thing worked very well. Fun match and more or less the first of the Blondes great matches.

We see a clip of Vader winning the world title back from Ron Simmons and messing up his shoulder. Jesse brings out Race and Vader who say Vader is awesome. Simmons comes out and says he’s going to get his title back, which of course he never did. The fight is on with Simmons THROWING Vader down in a spinebuster. That was awesome looking.

Simmons goes after Race but Vader destroys Simmons and reinjures his shoulder with some shoulderbreakers on the floor. Sting and Rhodes come out for the save as it looks like it’ll be 3-2 in the main event.

Sting/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Barry Windham/Paul Orndorff

This is the Thundercage match which like I said is more or less the Cell without a top but it comes up at an angle so it’s more or less impossible to climb in and out. Sting vs. Vader is always awesome so this is going to be good. You can’t be disqualified but you have to tag in and out. Sting and Orndorff start us off. Ok so only Vader is chilling on the apron. Ah there it is as the former tag partners in Rhodes and Windham start us off.

Everyone not named Vader is in street clothes here. Off to Sting vs. Vader which is one of those feuds that always worked very well. Sting hammers away and the Splash hits in the corner but Vader doesn’t go down. Sting pounds him down into the corner and the fans are WAY into it. Everyone but Dustin comes in as he more or less lets Sting fight everyone off on his own.

The numbers catch up with Sting though as Vader goes up and half kills Sting with a shoulder block. A splash misses though and Sting sends him to the floor. Is Dustin allergic to HELPING HIS PARTNER or something? Off to Orndorff who hammers away on Sting. Windham comes in now as Rhodes has been totally worthless in this. Vader gets a corner splash on Sting who might have been in there seven minutes straight now or so.

FINALLY Dustin comes in and since he’s a cowboy he can beat up anyone. And here’s Cactus Jack with bolt cutters to break in and hit every heel in sight with a boot. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a face turn. Orndorff goes for the Piledriver on Dustin but gets popped by said boot and Cactus falls on him for the pin. Sting’s music plays for some reason.

Rating: C+. The cage here meant a grand total of nothing. They beat Sting up pretty well but Dustin did nothing for the most part. Not a bad match and the crowd was way into it, but dude the whole cage aspect was completely pointless here. It set up Sting vs. Vader….somehow and I guess advances Jack vs. Orndorff which someone thought was a good idea. Anyway not bad but kind of a head scratcher.

Cactus says he’s in over his head but not as much as Orndorff is. He’s getting into that zone of his on the mic here.

Overall Rating: B. This was light years ahead of what I was expecting. You can kind of see how odd it is in the main event as Sting vs. Vader were about to feud or were feuding I guess but it was still pretty confusing. The NWA was clearly getting on their nerves here and when Flair came back the NWA’s days were numbered. That being said, this wasn’t horrible at all but it was a bit confusing and odd at times. Still though, good wrestling overrides that so definitely a good show.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #21: Cover Your Eyes! It’s Erik Watts!

Clash of the Champions 21
Date: November 18, 1992
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Egads 1992 WCW. This is the stuff that nightmares are made of. After the summer ended and the NWA decided to take control of the company again because they wanted their 9 seconds in the sun again, things went way downhill in WCW because the big bad NWA decided they needed to reset everything because it was getting too good. They had set up a massive tag tournament to crown official tag champions and it was the sole focus of television for a long time. This is WCW after it because they had to restart everything. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just about the matches tonight. This looks bad.

We see the weigh-in for the battle of the sexes match later. This results in seeing Paulie in his underwear. Madusa and Dangerously fight of course.

Tony is with Bill Watts and I still hate him. Why couldn’t they just have a character rather than the actual boss in there?

Teddy is with Michael Hayes who introduce the show I guess. Oh ok there’s a bounty on Erik Watts and they want to get it. The Freebirds that is. In an unrelated note, Brian Pillman is hurt and is at ringside.

Yep there he is on crutches with a knee injury. He can’t fight Brad Armstrong who isn’t happy. Pillman beats him up with his crutches and is disqualified before the match starts. The match starts anyway and goes for thirty seconds with Pillman winning due to Armstrong being hurt. Pillman was turning heel if you didn’t get that.

We get a clip from Halloween Havoc where Dangerously went on a huge rant against Madusa because she was a woman and fired her in a semi-famous bit. Madusa kicked him in the face to wild cheering. We get workouts from both of them, including a funny bit where Paulie fights a jobber and punches him, turns around so Austin can hit him, and then pins him.

We also see a showdown between Dangerously and Madusa where Paul runs his mouth so much that the rest of the Dangerous Alliance leaves him and he makes Madusa cry. She goes off on him and he runs for his life. Hayes is with Heyman and apparently he’ll have an arm tied behind his back. This anti-women thing is great from Paul as you have to wonder how much was legit. Paul: the only sacrifice women make is when they’re 16 and in the back of their boyfriend’s car. WOW.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Erik Watts

Ok so this is a bounty match. Watts is AWFUL and everyone hated him but they kept pushing him anyway because his daddy was the boss. They also gave him a big story with a bounty being on his head. Whoever hurts him gets $10,000 from Paulie. Eaton and Watts start us off.

Watts can’t do anything here as would be the case for his entire run. There’s one heck of a drinking game in there as you take a shot every time Watts does something that isn’t quite a wrestling move but was supposed to be one. You’ll die of alcohol poisoning in minutes. Anderson comes in and something tells me his thought process is “why do I have to deal with this garbage?”

Sasaki comes back in and is oddly enough a face here. That’s not something you see very often at all, at least outside of Japan. He’s not much better than Watts as he botches a monkey flip from Eaton. Sasaki is compact and very strong. I like that old school WCW ring skirt as it’s the first one I remember from when I was a kid.

Anderson might have a bad knee. He’s barely in there at all so maybe there’s something to it. Watts is back in now and he’s just bad. It’s not his fault mind you as he needed to be in some indy company for a few years just to get experience. He wasn’t ready for this exposure and his nerves made him a lot worse. Watts gets an STF on Eaton to end this.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad. When Kensuke Sasaki is the best guy on a team, you know something is bad. This was pretty weak for the vast majority. Wait…that would imply there was a good part and that certainly wasn’t the case here. Watts was just awful but like I said it’s not his fault. This was a bad match and it didn’t advance anything. Oh and Bobby Eaton and Arn Anderson, two of the best tag team wrestlers ever, had to job to these guys. That’s sad.

Teddy Long and his new protégé say that they’ll knock out Scotty Flamingo. It’s Johnny B Badd if you were wondering.

Flamingo is with his trainers, Vinnie Vegas (Kevin Nash before he meant anything) and Diamond Dallas Page, say that Flamingo is ready. Flamingo’s more famous name: Raven.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Scotty Flamingo

This is boxing with three two minute rounds. Why do we get so many boxing matches in wrestling companies? Why can’t one in ring competition be enough? Round one starts with Badd pounding the face of Flamingo. Keep in mind that Badd was a very legit amateur boxing champion so he knows what he’s doing here. Flamingo cheats with wrestling stuff when the Vegas Connection (the more famous guys’ tag team name) and Badd just destroys him with basic boxing stuff, including a BIG knockdown to end it.

Between rounds the heels fill Flamingo’s glove with water which makes it more or less lethal. Flamingo can barely get up to fight as he’s been destroyed so far. Badd peppers him a bit more until Page gets up on the apron and Flamingo gets one big right hand with the loaded glove and that’s enough for Flamingo to win. No rating due to it being a big comedy angle.

We preview Starrcade 92 which is another Battlebowl. They air a clip from last year’s show where Sting got his head handed to him for the whole night before pulling out the miracle win. When I say clip I mean about five minutes worth. The show is on Monday too.

They do the first match’s draw here, and it’s Cactus Jack/Johnny B. Badd vs. Dan Spivey/Heavy Metal Van Hammer. What a coincidence that Jack and Hammer are feuding at this point too.

There’s a wrestling rap album. As in an album of rap songs about wrestling. Oh dear.

Cactus Jack/Tony Atlas/Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons/Too Cold Scorpio

Ok so Simmons is world champion and is feuding with various guys because they wanted to make Simmons seem like he had something to do while making the WCW Title a midcard title so that guys like Great Muta and Chono, NWA guys, could be the REAL focus of the show. Simmons vs. Barbarian was the WCW Title match at Halloween Havoc. Let that sink in for a bit.

This is Scorpio’s debut and the good guys sprint to the ring with the announcers having no clue what Scorpio’s name is. This match with having only one white guy in it is Watts’ attempt to make the company believe he’s not racist and of course he made the black dude worthless and the title a joke until Sting saved it. Jack is legit injured here so he was a manager for the most part. Somehow injured he was miles ahead of the guys he managed.

Atlas looks like a freaking tank here. There was supposed to be some guy named Robbie Walker as Simmons’ partner. Considering this is Scorpio when he was young and in awesome shape and totally mind blowing, I think he upgraded. Yeah he’s 27 here as is Jack so both guys are young and just awesome. Scorpio misses a moonsault completely and kicks Jack in the head so he has to tag.

Jack and Simmons now as Barbarian was in there all of 10 seconds. Remember: Jack is badly hurt here but he’s the only credible guy on his team. Ah, it’s the #1 contender: Barbarian. Yes that Barbarian. It’s weird hearing them constantly saying “Simmons’ partner” because they really don’t know who he is. Atlas comes in and is just old. He’s still ripped though so that helps.

Barbarian beats on him a bit but then Jack has to be the one to get kicked in the head. Hot tag to Scorpio who blows the roof off the place. He was SO far ahead of his time it’s not even funny. Barbarian misses the big boot to Simmons which kills Atlas and with Simmons holding the other two off, Scorpio unleashes the 450 which is more or less the national debut of it and you can’t hear Ross’ commentary (which is more or less him losing his mind) over how loud the fans are. Naturally that gets the pin.

Rating: B-. This was to do two things: further the Simmons vs. Jack’s team feud and the bigger one: make 2 Cold Scorpio look AMAZING. To say the very least regarding the second one, JACKPOT. The fans loved him as more or less he was a 240 pound Rey Mysterio and keeping in mind this is 1992, this was completely revolutionary stuff. Awesome debut and everything worked like a charm. Match sucked when him or Jack wasn’t in there though.

Jesse talks to the newcomer and Simmons, who says he’s ready to overcome the odds. He introduces his new partner who says he’s ready for anything.

Tom Zenk and Johnny Gunn go into a clothing store and women mob them. This could not be any more pointless.

A clean shaven Rick Rude says he’s going to even the score with Sting. This is part of the King of Cable tournament which was apparently over the stuff the ropes were made of. Such a shame they didn’t tell us that until after the finals.

We talk about the World’s Strongest Arm Contest, which was a legit arm wrestling tournament. Van Hammer wound up winning the thing and that’s about it.

Dangerously says he’s a man.

Paul E. Dangerously vs. Madusa

This has a five minute time limit and Hayes is with Dangerously. He’s billed as the Psycho Yuppie. He has an arm behind his back too. A person with blonde hair and covered from head to toe runs in and Paul shatters his phone over her head. And as anyone could tell, it’s not Madusa but rather a jobber that was paid off I guess. Paul figures out what’s going on and you would think the Psycho theme started playing or something as they’re terrified.

She comes in and beats the tar out of Paul. This was her only thing she ever really did but it was a far cry from Chyna who was actually interesting when she did these things. All Madusa so far as would be expected. They go back into the locker room as Paul tries to run but she carries him back on his shoulder. Their chests are the same size apparently. Who is that good for actually?

Hayes trips up Madusa with two minutes to go so Dangerously can get in some cheap shots. He goes up top and hits a double axe but she’s up almost immediately. Let the pain be distributed as it’s all Madusa of course. And there go his clothes. He runs away for the last fifteen seconds or so. He was never seen in WCW again. Not going to rate this as it wasn’t a match and was a lot of just comedy stuff that went nowhere. Also, is there ANY reason to not have Madusa beat him here?

We look at the King of Cable tournament, which apparently IS about cable TV. I hate this company at times. The semi finals are Dustin vs. Vader and Sting vs. Rude, which is tonight.

Vader and Race reaffirm Vader’s awesomeness.

King of Cable Semi-Finals: Sting vs. Rick Rude

Larry Zbyszko, Hiro Matsuda and Ole Anderson are judges in case this goes to a 20 minute tie. Rude is US Champion at this point. He looks so odd clean shaven. Rude attacks early with lots of neck stuff to set up the Rude Awakening later on. Sting works on the ribs which I guess can work as they’re related to the back for the Scorpion. Far more Sting than Rude here.

Jesse talks about the thought process here as Sting needs to impress the judges while also trying to get a win which is rather true. The idea here is that Sting is trying to keep the advantage and just ride the time out which isn’t really a face thing to do but it’s a way to win.

Sting, like the idiot that he is, goes for the Stinger Splash against the railing and as usual it MISSES COMPLETELY. Why would you go for a move that has never hit once? Even Flair has gotten his shot off the top to work once or twice. Rude takes over and hooks a camel clutch at the halfway point. Jesse says Sting is ahead so far. He was usually honest which is rather refreshing.

Things slow WAY down with Rude on offense. Lots of chinlocks and lots of big heavy strikes. He was never a power man but he hit really hard. Rude tries to cannonball down onto Sting but misses and here comes Sting again. Under five minutes to go and it’s still Rude in control with a bearhug now. Less than four minutes left now as you have to go with Rude at this point.

I love how they’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is going to a draw. Everyone knew it but they don’t even bother suggesting that someone could get a clean win. Sting is in big trouble here with two minutes to go. He slams Rude off the top though and here comes the painted one. A cross body off the top gets two. Sting gets the Splash and goes for the Deathlock as time expires. The judges give it to Sting 2-1 with Larry voting for Rude. I’m not sure on that but I can see it I guess.

Rating: B. This was very different as they had to mess around with the style out there due to the judge aspect but it worked very well I thought. These two feuded for well over a year and it was no different here with it being pretty solid. This is another great example of psychology as they had to try to impress three people and survive. This worked very well I thought with Sting and Rude always meshing very well.

Tag Titles: Ricky Steamboat/Shane Douglas vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windhams

Don’t worry about which titles these are. More or less they’re the WCW Titles and that’s all we’re going to go into it. Shane vs. Dustin to start us off. Notice here that the NWA stuff is going on last and is the featured contest even though it has less star power and is a lower match on the card overall but goes last anyway because it’s the NWA part. Most fans and definitely the majority of casual fans wanted to see Sting and have no reason to watch now. That’s bad booking and can probably be blamed on the NWA.

This is going to go rather slow as it has some time to work with for once. Oh Barry and Dustin are champions here if I forgot to mention that. Steamboat vs. Windham now in a battle of a future vs. former world champion. They go to the floor and Barry is being a bit more aggressive than you would expect from a face champion. Sweet goodness Steamboat can throw a chop.

Shane looks so out of place here but he’s holding his own here for the most part. I was right about the time prediction as this is going rather slowly. That doesn’t mean it’s bad as we’re getting some nice teamwork here. Barry vs. Shane at the moment. Shane misses a cross body and eats rope so it’s off to Dustin who wrestles away. Dustin and Ricky don’t like to strike that much.

Lots of tags by the champions. They work on the arm and tag in and out probably five times in a minute. The idea there: don’t let one guy get winded at all. Smart tag wrestling there. All champions here as Shane is in a lot of trouble. This is definitely an old school style going on here and it’s a bit hard to sit through in long stretches. Hey it’s the NWA though so it has to be great right???

Off to Steamboat finally and we get an issue as Dustin accidentally headbutts Steamboat in the groin on a leapfrog but Dustin won’t cover him because it wasn’t fair. Windham is TICKED about this so he tags himself in and covers for two. Atomic drops and a lariat get two but Dustin breaks up his partner’s cover because he’s hurt. He even pops Windham and Barry turns into Shane’s belly to belly to switch the titles.

Rating: B-. This one is hard to call as it’s technically great but at the same time it’s rather boring at times. The ending helps it a lot as there’s a lot of thinking here as you have the titles change because one guy doesn’t want to cheat to win and one says win at all costs. This was a good match but it’s one of those matches that isn’t for everyone at all.

Dustin leaves so Barry yells for him which is kind of funny sounding. Barry pays him back for the punch and hits a jumping DDT to leave Dustin laying. Oh and a superplex to.

After the last break Jesse is with the new champions but Barry runs in to crack their heads with a chair.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ok. I wasn’t sure what to expect here and while there are a ton of issues with it, it still comes off pretty well. The idea was to put a focus on wrestling but the problem was that the stories absolutely sucked for the most part. That’s fine, but at the same time you need to have something to work with. This was a bad era for the company, but mainly because the NWA wouldn’t get out of the way. Not a bad show but certainly not for everyone.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #20: Hercules Main Events. Yeah, THAT Hercules

Clash of the Champions #20
Date: September 2, 1992
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This is the next to last one that I have to go and it’s a theme show. This is a show dedicated to WCW being on the Superstation for 20 years. Yeah you know that whole “longest running weekly episodic show?” It’s not even close. WCW/all it’s other names was on the air on Saturday Nights at 6:05 for roughly 28 years straight. Raw hasn’t even hit 19 years yet. Even when Vince took over for a few months in the mid 80s, it was still called World Championship Wrestling. Anyway let’s get to it.

The show opens with an old clip of Andre the Giant from probably the 70s. He has an interview tonight, which was his final American appearance.

The opening video is in the form of a scrapbook with various people that used to be big stars. This is always cool to see.

Tony and Missy are outside like they’re at a red carpet. Gordon Solie is here too and hello Andre in Princess Bride attire. Ron Simmons, the world champion, arrives. Now Bill Watts gets here. He’s followed by….HANK AARON??? I know he’s around every now and then but it’s still cool to see him. Bill Shaw, the legit president of WCW (who had no idea how wrestling worked) is here too. Jim Barnett, a promoter, is here, as is Bob Dhue (another legit boss) and BRUNO SAMMARTINO!!! He kind of bashes WWF by saying that he’s glad to be in a real wrestling company. Sting arrives on a motorcycle.

We go inside now and Robb Pitts, an Atlanta City Councilman, gives Bill Watts a proclamation. The Assassin in his mask in the background is an amusing sight. Dusty pops up and says some catchphrases. Assassin, Thunderbolt Patterson and Magnum TA are here too.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

Austin is champion. This is the leftovers of the Dangerous Alliance angle which should have gone on at least another year but hey, it’s WCW so why let things go well? Austin is mentioned as a member of it here but I’d have thought it was long gone by then. The national anthem is sung after their entrances. It’s done by an 11 year old and Johnny B. Badd. That’s an odd combination. Oh ok he’s just walking her there.

This is no DQ, which means moves off the top are allowed. Also, Dangerously will be in a cage outside the ring. Steamboat also has bad ribs. Austin goes right for them but it’s mainly striking to get us going. Ricky grabs a headlock to take over and they go to the mat. The cage is now up in the air. Also you can vote on whether or not the top rope moves should be banned or not.

Still in the headlock and Austin taps but it doesn’t mean anything yet. Austin escapes and goes right for the ribs with a hiptoss and elbow drop. See how easy it is? Back to the headlock by Ricky as they’re kind of filling time here. They go to the corner and Austin steps onto the bottom rope with Steamboat on the middle rope, kind of like for a really low level belly to belly superplex. However, instead of that he throws Steamboat forward over his head so that Steamboat lands face first and ribs first on the mat. Cool move.

Steamboat can’t do much now due to the ribs so Austin locks on an abdominal stretch. Ricky starts his comeback and a middle rope cross body gets two. Austin takes a slingshot into the buckle for two. A tombstone gets two and the crowd is getting way into this. Austin gets two on a rollup with tights. Ricky blocks a superplex but jumps into a punch to the ribs. Shoulder block gets two for Ricky. He skins the cat but a BIG elbow sends him to the floor. In a sweet move, Steamboat slips under the ring and comes out the other side for the top rope cross body for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. I liked this one a lot and they got the crowd into this. When a crowd of 500 people can be heard that clearly you can tell you’ve got something good going. It helps when you have this kind of talent out there. This would be a bigger feud in the next few years and over a bigger title as well, which is the idea. Then Steamboat got injured and someone decided that Austin wasn’t marketable. Idiots.

Here are some clips from the old days, in this case from Mr. Wrestling #2.

We get a video on some of the great tag teams that have competed here on TBS. We see stuff from the Assassins, the Briscoes, the Freebirds (probably from the 70s), the Road Warriors and the Rock N Roll Express. These are just like 20 second clips so there isn’t anything to say here. Roddy Piper is on commentary in the Warriors clips and sounds BOMBED.

Video on Halloween Havoc 1992.

Michael Hayes tells Terry Gordy (not seen) that his men Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton (seen) will kill him.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton vs. Dick Slater/Greg Valentine

Arn and Valentine start us off. Slater and Valentine clear the ring and it breaks down very quickly. We get to Slater and Eaton with Slater in control. A Russian legsweep and feet on the ropes get two. This is heel vs. heel. Off to Anderson who gets caught in the corner and double teamed. This isn’t really working and I have no idea why they’re going heel vs. heel here. Slater works on Arn’s leg and Valentine hooks a Figure Four which Eaton breaks up. Spinebuster gets two on Greg and it breaks down again. Larry Zbyszko comes out and hits Greg with a cast by mistake and a middle rope Alabama Jam ends this.

Rating: D+. What an odd match. Having four heels (and good ones at that) out there made this into an “I can out heel you” contest which isn’t something I recall seeing. The problem is you’re not going to get anyone cheered out there and I really don’t get the point of it. Just an odd choice.

Bruno Sammartino has an interview and flat out says that he’s glad to be back in a real wrestling organization, unlike that other place he’s been with for the last ten years.

Teddy Long is in the VIP Room and instead of talking to Gordon Solie or Andre, he picks Bob Armstrong. They just didn’t get it at times. Now let’s talk to Thunderbolt Patterson. Dude, ANDRE THE GIANT IS SITTING NEXT TO YOU. Patterson actually says he’s glad to be alive to be here.

We get a quick statement from Mr. Wrestling #2 from Hawaii.

Ted Turner thanks us for 20 years. You have to give him this: he stuck with them as long as he could.

Bill Watts vacates the Light Heavyweight Title due to champion Brad Armstrong being injured. A tournament is promised but it never came. We go to Brad on a crutch who says he’s disappointed because he has to step down. He thinks he’s a failure and Brian Pillman, the opponent for later, comes out. He says it’s a disgrace because he’s supposed to get the title back but Armstrong is claiming an injury. Armstrong’s dad should be ashamed of him and Brad doesn’t know what to say. Pillman slaps him, officially turning heel.

Here’s a singles version of the same kind of montage we saw earlier for the tag teams. Way too many to name here but if they’re a big name they’re here. There are a lot of smaller named guys too. It sounds like it’s set to the Sting music when he came out at Starrcade 97.

Video on Ron Simmons, the WCW World Champion.

WCW World Title: Cactus Jack vs. Ron Simmons

Dig that old Doom music! Ole Anderson is referee here for no apparent reason. This is power vs. brawling of course so Ron tries to wear Jack down. Jack actually speeds things up and hits a flying headbutt to take over. Out to the floor and Ron is like yeah go ahead and jump. Back in and Cactus takes over using his evil ways. Simmons pounds him down in the corner but he charges into a punch.

Cactus Clothesline and they go to the floor. Swinging neckbreaker out there puts Simmons down and they go back in. Three clotheslines get a two count for Jack and it’s off to the chinlock. They trade headbutts and down goes Jack. Two three point shoulder blocks take Jack down again. Back to the floor and Cactus manages to drop his apron elbow to the floor which is one of his major moves. And Simmons is up again in like 4 seconds. Back in the ring, Simmons hits the spinebuster and powerslam to retain. Literally after the elbow, Jack had zero offense and the match was over 20 seconds later.

Rating: D+. I don’t get that ending at all. This was a pretty major feud for awhile, including Jack managing I believe Barbarian for the world title match at Starrcade. The rest of that match wasn’t anything of note either as Ron was pretty much like “yeah keep hitting me.” Really strange match, which is kind of a theme for the last two of them.

Masahiro Chono won a tournament in Japan to win the NWA World Title over Rick Rude. This would result in Chono and Muta getting time on WCW TV, because the NWA thought people cared. We get some clips of the match which looks pretty good.

Rude issues a challenge to Chono for a rematch.

Cactus Jack says he’s in pain but he has someone to help Barbarian and this someone knows Simmons very well. It’s Butch Reed.

Butch Reed/Barbarian vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

Jack is on commentary here. Barbarian starts with Rhodes. The Texans cheat and fire off a bunch of double dropkicks to clear the ring. Barbarian is an interesting guy as he always had jobs. Think about it: he was around in the mid 80s, then got a pretty long run in WWF then this quick WCW run then he went back to WWF for a few months then was in WCW for the Faces of Fear. That’s pretty impressive for someone that was never anything more than a lower midcard guy.

Reed gets pounded on in the corner but Dustin misses a charge and falls to the corner. Cactus’ evil laugh is downright CREEPY. The monsters lure Windham in and double team Dustin some more. Cactus: “You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can fool Barry Windham all of the time.” It’s funnier when he says it. A clothesline puts Rhodes down and Reed pounds away on him.

Off to Barbarian who beats on Dustin even more. Standard tag team formula here and that’s perfectly fine. It still works so why mess with it? Reed comes in for a reverse chinlock as Jack says he’s playing a part in a plan but won’t elaborate on it. I don’t think that ever went anywhere. Dustin manages to get a clothesline but takes one of his own. There’s the double tag Windham comes in and speeds things up. He hits the superplex on Barbarian but goes to stop Reed instead. Everything breaks down and Barbarian kicks Barry’s head off for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine. Barry and Dustin would go on to win the tag titles (the WCW versions, not the NWA titles, meaning that the team they beat still had tag titles because the NWA is stupid) in about a month. Barbarian and Reed would help Jack against Simmons then just kind of fade away.

Jack tells Simmons to be ready.

Here’s a video on the main event. It’s a Survivor Series style match with Sting captaining the Steiners/Nikita Koloff vs. Vader/Jake Roberts/Rude/Super Invader. Sting and Vader are obvious, Jake came in to feud with Sting as a HUGE signing that went nowhere. Koloff is feuding with Rude over the US Title, and the Steiners are Sting’s friends. Super Invader is Hercules of all people under a mask. He’s Harley Race’s goon so there are your eight men.

Sting/Nikita Koloff/Steiner Brothers vs. Rick Rude/Super Invader/Jake Roberts/Big Van Vader

Remember, elimination rules. Hercules is HUGE here as he must be on the good steroids. Rick vs. Vader gets us going. Vader pounds him down as only he can but walks into a SWEET belly to belly. Off to Koloff vs. Invader now. Invadercules takes him down and it’s off to Rude for our first rivalry pairing. Scott comes in as does Invader. No one has really stayed in long enough to get anything going other than the opening pairing.

Scott calls for the Frankensteiner but Rude makes a blind tag and takes Scott down before the Frankensteiner can hit. Roberts comes in to do nothing so it’s off to Vader who pounds Scott down in the corner. He whips Scott in and Jake isn’t paying attention so he gets knocked to the floor. Scott grabs a tilt-a-whirl on Rude, setting up double tags to Roberts and Koloff.

Nikita beats up everyone but Rude knees him in the back, allowing Jake to roll him up for a 4-3 advantage. Off to Sting vs. Invader and that kind of bulldog move that Sting does ties it up. Vader comes in to fight Sting but Sting tags out to Rick. There’s a BIG suplex to Vader. I could watch the Steiners throw people around all day. Rick goes up but jumps into a powerslam. That’s scary power. Vader just held him for awhile because he could. A middle rope splash only gets two. The crowd is way into this.

Off to Rude who puts on a front facelock. Rick powers to the corner but Jake came in for a distraction so the tag doesn’t count. Back to Vader who jumps off the rope but also gets caught in a powerslam by Rick. The Steiners try a Doomsday Device but Rick can’t hold him so it’s more like a regular top rope clothesline. But wait, since Bill Watts is REALLY FREAKING STUPID, that means Scott is disqualified.

Rick and Vader go to the floor and Rick backdrops him out there. Rick Rude comes over and hits the Rude Awakening on Steiner and only Vader beats the count back in. That makes it Sting vs. Roberts/Rude/Vader. He gets Roberts first and there’s the Splash but Rude breaks up the Deathlock attempt. Sting does what he can but he’s still against three guys. The bulldog gets two on Rude. He hits a slingshot suplex but Vader comes off the top with a splash on both guys for no apparent reason, drawing his own DQ. Jake pulls Rude over for a tag and Jake easily DDTs Sting for the winning pin.

Rating: D+. Bill Watts is really stupid. The problem with the top rope thing is it completely takes away the excitement that you can get from things like that. Watts wanted an old school, mat based style which is why he pushed the Miracle Violence Connection so hard. The problem with that is NO ONE ELSE LIKES IT. But who cares about something like that right? I mean, it’s TRADITION AND THE NWA BABY!!! The match was nothing special and was pretty dull due to the people being eliminated through such stupid means.

We hear the results of the poll about the top rope being reinstated: 88% want moves off the top to be legal again. Think that happened? Of course not.

JR says we’ll take a special look at Halloween Havoc, but it’s the same commercial we’ve seen three times already. Oh wait this has some extra stuff in it. Well at least it’s different. This announces that it’ll be Jake vs. Sting in Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal, which is WCW’s version of Raw Roulette. Naturally they didn’t rig the wheel so they got a Coal Miner’s Glove match, which was AWFUL. The announcement is in the form of a REALLY badly acted skit in I think a bar or something where Jake challenges him.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show. The set looking exactly the same as WCW Saturday Night (it was on the same set) gave this a really weird dynamic. It’s not bad or anything but it felt more like a special edition of Saturday Night rather than a big time show. It did some setting up of Havoc but not much really. Oh and before I forget: Scott Steiner would win the TV Title shortly after this and would tease turning heel, but the Steiners would be in the WWF before Christmas.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #19: Screw The NWA. Seriously, Screw Them.

Clash of the Champions 19
Date: June 16, 1992
Location: McAlister Field House, Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Ok so in 1992, at least the first half of it, WCW had some serious momentum going. Their shows were interesting and the PPVs were really quite good. Then there was this show and it went downhill for a few months. Now for the shock of the year: IT WASN’T THEIR FAULT. The NWA stepped in and decided to use WCW to run their stupid world tag team title tournament which NO ONE BUT THEM wanted to see and they ran it badly, taking over two shows (this one and Great American Bash 92 which was literally Sting vs. Vader and tournament matches). This is going to be weak due to a lack of caring so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how a lot of countries have teams being represented here. Tonight is just the first round of the tournament.

Tony (with blonde hair), Missy and Magnum open the show. Missy says that New Japan Pro Wrestling has been given the NWA World Title Tournament. No one cares other than the NWA, but when has that ever stopped them before? Bill Watts comes in and says that the tournament is awesome. Keep in mind that the Steiners are the WCW World Tag Team Champions and are the #1 seeds. The seeds will become almost a running joke throughout the night as no one else really makes sense with their seed.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Joe Malenko/Dean Malenko vs. Ricky Steamboat/Nikolai Volkoff

The Malenkos are the 7 seed and the other team is unseeded. Why the Malenkos are seeded over a moderate dream team is unknown. The Malenkos are Hungarian allegedly. Joe and Dean really are brothers. Joe vs. Ricky to start us off and they go to the mat. Expect to hear that A LOT tonight. Joe looks like Dean a bit. Test of strength goes to Joe but he gets to bridge out which is one of his specialties.

They exchange some pinfall attempts but Ricky grabs an arm drag and hooks the armbar to take over. This was right around the time when Cactus Jack was about to feud with Steamboat but then WCW decided that we didn’t want a natural face vs. a natural heel in a big program that a lot of people would have wanted to see so they bailed on it rather quickly.

Off to Dean and Nikita and it’s power vs. speed. Dean gets sent to the floor with ease and Koloff no sells a suplex. Koloff has been offered employment in the Dangerous Alliance which would be dissolved very soon. Back off to Steamboat who keeps up the work on Dean’s arm which was started by Koloff. Off to Joe who takes an armbar and likes it. Dean and Nikita get in an argument on the apron which allows Joe to take Steamboat into the Malenko corner.

Double teaming begins on Steamboat and a double clothesline kind of move gets two. The Malenkos are representing Europe apparently. Dean hits what we would call Wasteland and hooks on an arm/leg submission. Off to Joe who gets a clothesline for two. Hot tag to Nikita who cleans house. He kills them both and hits the Sickle (big old clothesline) on Dean for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here I guess but we instantly see the problem with this whole show: there are no stories for the most part to any of these matches so the matches have almost no heat. This is a sign of Ross/Watts booking: they have this old school mentality of all athleticism and little story, which makes for really dull shows because there’s no drama for the most part. But hey, that’s REAL wrestling right?

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Steve Austin/Rick Rude vs. Z-Man/Marcus Bagwell

Hmm…two killers who are a regular team vs. some pretty boys. I wonder what’s going to happen. Rude is US Champion and Austin is TV Champion. Rude and Austin (in tights that look like they have confetti on them) are only seeded number 6. Rude pounds on Bagwell and Austin does the same. Bagwell gets some shots in and it’s off to Zenk. Zenk/Bagwell have a US Tag Title shot on Saturday. So yes, there are three tag titles being competed for at this point.

Zenk is apprehensive to try a test of strength so it’s off to Rude for some Minnesota on Minnesota violence. Rude takes him down and swivels his hips. Off to Bagwell who gets pounded down by Austin. Bagwell went to Sprayberry High School and Jesse has a lot of fun with that name. Rude beats on the future Buff one whose right hands do nothing at all. Zenk gets in a kick and that’s about it for his offense as Rude hits a piledriver for two.

Total dominance so far. Austin drops Z-Man on the top rope in a clothesline for two. Off to a front facelock to waste some time. The Dangerous Alliance team double teams Z-Man and make an unseen tag. Back to Austin to continue this massacre. Z-Man gets a superkick to Austin and brings in Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Bagwell gets a few shots in before Rude glares at him and casually hits the Rude Awakening to end it.

Rating: D. This was an 8 minute squash. Bagwell and Zenk were totally outmatched here as they were against a regular team of two singles champions. What were you expecting to have happen here? See, this is what I mean by this is boring: there’s no reason to see these people fighting, meaning there’s no interest. But again, Ross and Watts were obsessed with technical stuff which isn’t interesting at all.

The Miracle Violence Connection (Terry Gordy and Steve Williams and more or less the only team besides the Steiners that ever had a prayer of winning this) say they want to fight the Steiners now and not have to beat a team from Australia first. Ok then.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Larry O’Day/Jeff O’Day vs. Miracle Violence Connection

Remember that Jim Ross is booking and Steve Williams is more or less Brock Lesnar from Oklahoma. What do you think is going to happen here against a father and son team? Gordy and Larry (the father) start us off and since I have no better words for it, here comes the pain. Williams comes in and rattles off every stat he can think of for Williams. Jeff comes in against Gordy and that goes badly for Jeff. Off to Williams as the worship service at the church of the MVC continues. Oklahoma Stampede ends this massacre. Total squash.

Jesse brings out Sting for a little chat. Sting is world champion here (but not the REAL world champion according to the NWA because only the NWA World Champion is a REAL world champion) and has been attacked by Vader recently. The revenge/title match is at the Bash which is in about a month. Sting in a tux and facepaint is kind of a weird combination. Sting says he doesn’t feel like David here but rather like Goliath or Godzilla or King Kong. Well he did lose like Goliath did. This took like a minute.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham vs. Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton

Anderson and Eaton are in the Dangerous Alliance. This should be solid. I always wondered why Anderson was billed from Minnesota and not a specific city. Anderson and Windham start us off and the Dangerous Alliance team is the #3 seed. Windham/Rhodes, regular tag partners and somewhat successful, are unseeded. Jesse and Jim get on the seedings again and they’re right to here.

Anderson tries to go up top because he never learns so Windham dropkicks him to the floor. Another of Bill Watts’ brilliant ideas: get rid of those mats at ringside. Let these guys crash onto the concrete! See why he wasn’t all that popular? I can almost understand his banning anything from the top but dude, why do you need to get rid of something there for safety? BECAUSE REAL WRESTLING DOESN’T HAVE IT!!!

Eaton vs. Rhodes now and Dustin breaks his momentum with some elbows to the head. Big boot sends Eaton to the floor and Dangerously is losing it. Arn comes in and the Texans beat on him like a pinball. Paulie says go to plan #2. The referee almost gets flattened allowing Eaton to kick Barry in the back of the head and give the heels the advantage.

The fans think Paulie sucks. Hot tag to Dustin and he cleans house. Lariat puts Anderson down but Eaton makes the distraction, allowing Anderson to hit the DDT on Dustin to change everything around again. Dustin tries a cross body and misses completely, crashing out of the ring and out to the floor. Eaton hits the top rope (it’s NWA rules, not WCW so it’s legal) knee drop for two.

Back to AA who stomps away like only he can. Off to the chinlock as Windham comes in and makes things worse for Dustin. Jawbreaker gets Dustin out of trouble but there’s Eaton again to break up the hot tag. Hot tag finally brings in Windham but the referee misses it. Spinebuster kills Dustin but there’s no referee because Eaton and Windham are fighting on the floor, meaning it only gets two. Eaton tries the top rope legdrop but misses, allowing Rhodes to bulldog him for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and at least there was a story to this one (kind of). Barry and Dustin were an ok team and would go on to make it all the way to the finals of the tournament and beat the eventual winners at a later date. Probably the best match of the night so far, which isn’t saying much at all.

Missy Hyatt explains the NWA Title tournament in NJPW which will have all of the Dangerous Alliance in it. Not that we’ll get to see it, but THIS IS THE NWA BABY! The MVC comes up and says there has been a Puerto Rican wreck. Perfectly enough, that means the Steiners have to face the MVC which is the big money match. Well I guess having it as a second round match at the PPV is better than nothing, even though that being the final would be better.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Silver Kings vs. Freebirds

Garvin and Hayes are the US Tag Team Champions. Silver Kings are Silver King and a guy that isn’t that well known named El Texano. Here they’re known as #1 and #2 though with Silver King being #1. The Freebirds, the US Tag Team Champions, aren’t seeded here because the NWA is stupid. #1 outmaneuvers Garvin and it’s off to #2. The Silver Kings are the UWA Tag Champions. Good to know.

Senton misses off the top and Garvin gets two off it. Hayes and #1 come in and a slingshot hilo gets two for the more famous Silver King. Double chop sets up a double spin kick to take Hayes down. He doesn’t seem to mind but stops to moon walk. The fans seem behind the Birds but it’s not exactly clear. Test of strength isn’t really done as #1 suckers Hayes in with a dropkick.

Garvin comes in and does a bit better and then tags out at the same time. This is kind of an awkward match. Ross says it’s because of the diverse styles but the match breaking down even more isn’t helping things. #1 trips over Hayes as he runs the ropes and everything breaks down. The fans want the DDT but both Birds get dropkicked to the floor where Hayes accidentally hits Garvin. The Kings ram together and then Garvin rolls up #2 for the pin.

Rating: D-. The high spots by the Kings were nice but the ending was one of the worst messes I’ve ever seen. The styles were clashing but this was just messy all over the place. Not a good match at all and easily the worst of the night so far. Not sure who thought this was a good idea but I’d blame Watts, which is the case for most things in this era.

The Puerto Ricans are out so it’s officially Steiners vs. MVC at the Bash.

Magnum TA calls shenanigans in the Puerto Rican issue. Ole Anderson comes up to say what we were already told.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Jushin Thunder Liger/Brian Pillman vs. Chris Benoit/Beef Wellington

Wellington is built like a taller Benoit Most of these guys were in Stampede at the same time so there’s a lot of familiarity. Wellington is fine so this should be at least good. Benoit vs.. Liger to start us off. The Crippler is 25 years old here so he’s all quick and hungry. Liger throws him around with some armdrags but a dropkick misses.

Double tag and Pillman gets a big pop. Pillman sends him over with a monkey flip and a dropkick sends him to the floor. Brian charges but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block and Pillman is in trouble. Wellington tries to suplex Pillman back in but gets suplexed to the floor which isn’t a DQ as they validate stuff again. Liger comes in and is taken down rather easily by Beef.

There’s that Benoit clothesline to Liger as they speed things up. The Canadian gets a spinning kick to take Liger down and it’s back to Wellington. Beef throws Liger out but totally misses a dive. Liger monkey flips him out of the corner as we hear about this guy named Scotty Flamingo who is Light Heavyweight Champion. You know him better as Raven.

Benoit back in and he misses a shot, sending him to the floor again. Pillman back in and a belly to back superplex sets up a missile dropkick. Benoit is reeling and goes to the floor again. Pillman fakes him out and hits a cross body off the apron. The chop it out on the floor for a bit and it’s back to Wellington vs. Liger. Now Wellington misses a charge and goes over the top, allowing Liger to hit a huge dive to take Beef out.

Remember that this is 1992 and the idea of lucha libre or a fast paced style was totally unheard of in America. Benoit beats on Liger a bit and tries a belly to back superplex of his own but Liger reverses into a cross body and Wellington has to make the save. Picture perfect Asai Moonsault takes out Benoit as the fans are WAY into this. Pillman tries an O’Connor Roll but Wellington gets a boot up to drop Brian.

Wellington, the biggest man in the match (still not huge though) tries a missile dropkick which misses Pillman. Liger is tagged in and suplexes Wellington for two. Everything breaks down as Benoit and Pillman fight to the floor. Benoit and Wellington get rammed together and Liger hits the moonsault for the quick pin. Great match!

Rating: B+. Now THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE! Naturally though since this wasn’t “traditional and REAL wrestling”, these guys were dropped down to nothing (Wellington and Benoit weren’t brought back in as they were a one night thing) while Liger and Pillman did nothing of note. The Light Heavyweight Title was dropped soon after this. Pillman was thrown into the incredibly crowded tag title picture while the NWA guys bored the tears out of everyone else. Still though, solid match and worth checking out actually.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Head Hunters vs. Hiroshi Hase/Akira Nogami

The Head Hunters are guys in masks from the Dominican Republic. However they’re really either Arn Anderson or a guy named Joe Cruz (not important) and a guy named Bob Cook who isn’t important. The Japanese team is the #2 seed for no apparent reason. Nogami starts with #2 because JR says that #2 is starting. Jesse wants to know why he picked #2 as the starter but JR ignores him. Apparently they’re still trying to figure out the Puerto Rican team situation.

Nogami beats on the Head Hunter because he can and it’s off to #1 who I think is Arn. He wrestles a bit like him if nothing else. Off to Hase who I’ve seen a few times before. A double knee drop off the top misses and whatever Headhunter that is takes over. Double suplex gets two on Hase. Hase comes back and kicks his head off as the dominance begins. It doesn’t last long as both Japanese guys hit suplexes (belly to belly/German) for stereo pins.

Rating: D+. Just a quick squash here as the Headhunters could have been anyone here and it wouldn’t have mattered. The Japanese team went to the semi-finals I think and that’s about it. Nothing of note here but Hase was certainly fun to watch so I can’t complain all that much here.

Jesse brings out Ron Simmons to talk a bit. Simmons wants to be the first black world champion and talks about how hard his life has been. Harley Race comes out with the Super Invader (Hercules in a mask. Yes THAT Hercules) and tells Ron to be an errand boy for him. Ron says if you want to send a message to Sting, do it yourself. Race says something that is censored and Simmons drills him. Race and Invader beat him down for a bit until Simmons realizes he’s fighting an old man and Hercules and leaves them laying. Apparently Race called him a negro (Race’s word, not mine).

Ad for the WCW Magazine Poster Book. I had that.

Here’s Bill Watts to talk about the Puerto Ricans again. Watts wants the fans to get their money’s worth, so it’s Steiners vs. MVC RIGHT NOW. Oh sweet nibblets where do I even start?

Tag Team Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Steiner Brothers vs. Miracle Violence Connection

Yes, the ONLY MATCH ANYONE COULD POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT IN THIS IDIOTIC TOURNAMENT IS BEING GIVEN AWAY ON FREE TV IN THE SECOND FREAKING ROUND. Bill Watts is an idiot and that’s all there is to it. I mean seriously, WHY WOULD YOU GIVE AWAY THE ONLY IMPORTANT MATCH HERE??? Steiners are WCW Tag Champions here but don’t have their belts for some reason.

Gordy vs. Rick (a rarity) starts us off. They hit the mat immediately and keep in mind: Gordy is no slouch and Williams is probably better on the mat than the Steiners. Rick takes him down to the mat a few times so Gordy drills him with a forearm to take over. Rick escapes a half crab and it’s off to Scott. They go to the mat and Scott blocks a backslide attempt.

Dr. Death comes in to go at it with Scott and, say it with me, they go to the mat. Scott gets on Doc’s back which goes nowhere. Rick comes back in and suplexes Williams out to the floor in the first big move of the match. We even get a Varsity Club reference. They go to the mat again and this is kind of boring all of a sudden. They finally get going and Rick vs. Williams turns into a fist fight. My money is on Doc.

Hey I’m right as Williams KILLS him with a clothesline. Off to Gordy who hits one of his own for two. Rick counters a suplex into one of his own and there’s the tag to Scott. He cleans house but misses the Frankensteiner. Gordy gets the STF (not called that) but Scott grabs a rope. Williams comes in and hits a gutbuster and stomps away. Gordy comes back in and puts on a leg lock because they’ve been working on the ribs/back for the last few minutes.

Scott manages to get a boot to the face of Williams and there’s the tag to Rick after Scott was in there forever. The referee doesn’t see it of course because this is WCW. Rick cleans house anyway but the numbers finally catch up with him. Everything breaks down because we’re not sure who’s legal at the moment. Williams hits a chop block on Scott to take him down. Williams hits a gorilla press into a powerslam which is a move I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Scott sets for a belly to belly but Gordy clips him and Williams falls on top for the pin and the upset.

Rating: B-. Match was good, but again what in the world were they thinking here? This was the ONLY reason to see the rest of the tournament and they put it on here. I have no clue that the plan here was but it wasn’t a good idea. The match itself was fine, although the first half with all the technical/mat stuff bored the fans to death.

Jesse and Jim wrap us up.

Overall Rating: D+. There are a few good matches here and one very good one, but this tournament is going to get old and fast. The NWA was totally clueless as to what the fans wanted to see and this was all the proof you needed. The MVC won the tournament of course. Now that makes sense because it sets up the big rematch of Steiners vs. MVC, title for title right? Well of course not, because the rematch was two weeks later with the Steiners dropping the titles. More or less this turned into a big MVC love fest put on by the Oklahoma Bookers and the crowd wasn’t thrilled. Some decent stuff here but mostly boring.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #18: Dangerous Alliance Time. FINALLY.

Clash of the Champions 18
Date: January 21, 1992
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Time for another Clash, but this time it’s from a better era. This is during the Dangerous Alliance period, where the top heels in the company banded together to fight Sting and whoever he could get to back him up. However, he needed to win the world title first nad we need to set up that match tonight. Also we get Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer in a falls count anywhere match which I remember fairly well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Heyman wanting to take over the company with the Dangerous Alliance.

As usual Eric and Missy are more or less the hosts.

Vader/Mr. Hughes vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott vs. Hughes gets us going. The Steiners are insanely popular. Scott throws Hughes around for a few minutes and that’s exactly what I wanted to see. That’s what the Steiners were awesome at: throwing big guys around like it was no big deal. Hughes powers him to the corner and everything breaks down. The Steiners get sent to the floor so they wait for the monsters to pose and both go to the top at the same time. A double Steiner Line off the same corner gives the Steiners the momentum again.

Vader vs. Rick now and Vader goes old school monster on him. There’s a gorilla press and a splash in the corner but Rick keeps getting up because that’s what he does. Steiner Line takes Vader down and there’s an overhead belly to belly (great one too). Rick knocks him to the floor and dives off the apron, but gets caught and rammed into the post. Back in and Rick throws Vader off the top with a belly to belly superplex.

Off to Scott and the Steiners are all fired up here. Scott gets the best German suplex you’ll ever see to a guy the size of Vader. He goes up but his cross body is countered into a powerslam and a splash keeps Scott down. Tag to Hughes and it’s off to Rick soon thereafter. HUGE backdrop and Hughes is in trouble. Everything breaks down again and Vader accidentally hits Hughes. Vader and Scott go to the floor and the Steiner Bulldog ends Hughes.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I’m a sucker for the Steiners throwing everyone all over the place like it’s nothing. They were so far and away better than all of the other teams at this point and it was very clear. Anderson and Eaton were champions at this point and the Steiners would get the titles back in just a few months.

Terry Taylor/Tracy Smothers vs. Brian Pillman/Marcus Bagwell

Tracy is still part of the Young Pistols and Taylor is the Taylor Made Man. According to Ross, a standard backhand chop is a judo chop. Didn’t know that. Pillman cleans house on his own and speeds things up but walks into a backbreaker for two. Off to Bagwell and the good guys clear the ring with a double dropkick. There are some double dives to the outside and Taylor/Smothers are in trouble.

We get back to normal with Bagwell vs. Smothers and Tracy hits what was either a dropkick or a superkick to take over. We hear about Bagwell hanging out with Sting a lot lately as Tracy beats him up. He avoids a shot though and here’s Pillman again. A spinwheel kick gets two for Pillman. The heels double team to slow Brian down and Taylor suplexes him to the floor.

Pillman gets rammed into the post which gets two back in the ring for Tracy. Gutwrench powerbomb gets the same for Taylor. Back to Smothers and a jumping back elbow sends Pillman out to the barricade again. He comes back in with a springboard clothesline and it’s hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Bagwell gets a surprise sunset flip on Smothers for the three count.

Rating: C+. Fun tag match here with Pillman flying all over the place and just being awesome. Smothers and Taylor are two guys that I’m not wild on but they did their thing here and it worked well enough. Bagwell was still a glorified rookie at this point but he never really developed past anything slightly above average, which is pretty telling.

Video on Jushin Thunder Liger. He and Pillman will tear the house down at SuperBrawl II for the Light Heavyweight Title which Liger recently won from Pillman.

Richard Morton vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is pretty new at this point and is still the gay character that we don’t acknowledge as being gay. He takes off the rainbow colored robe to put on a pink and blue boa. Badd has to fire the Badd Blaster (confetti gun) before we can get going. He tries to punch Morton so Morton wisely hides in the ropes. Double axe off the middle rope gives Badd control. A bad looking atomic drop by Morton lets him send Badd to the floor. Badd gets a sunset flip for two. This isn’t meshing at all. Powerslam gets two for Johnny. They slug it out and Morton tries a cross body which Badd rolls through for the pin.

Rating: F. Just awful here and the ending looked horrible with Morton barely running when he hit the cross body. It took Badd a few years but he would get way better. The Light Heavyweight division never worked like it was supposed to because they had no idea that there was a difference between being small and knowing how to wrestle small.

Badd and Pillman are with Bischoff and Badd puts a lips sticker on Eric’s cheek. They both want to fight Liger. Pillman gives a bizarre speech about Japanese automakers and how he’s defending the honor of Americans and bringing the title back to America. And then Badd puts lips on Brian’s cheek, earning him a right hand. I have no idea if that was a heel promo or not.

PN News vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is a manager recently turned wrestler and more or less is a jobber here. News is a very fat white rapper. He raps a bit before the match. This makes JR’s from two nights ago look bearable. Page (in a singlet) jumps him to start and they try running the ropes for a few seconds, but News can’t do it due to high levels of fat. News tries a dropkick to send Page to the floor as the announcers shill the WCW Hotline. All News until he misses an elbow. Page hammers away and gets two off a Russian legsweep. For some reason he tries a slam and guess how well that goes. News hits a belly to belly and a top rope splash for the pin.

Rating: D-. Barely better than the previous match but Page was trying. The problem was that he wasn’t very good yet. News….you’re fat and you need to go away. The match was nothing to see and was there to get News on TV, because WCW was stupid enough to think that was a good idea.

Here’s the WCW Top Ten.

10. Larry Zbyszko
9. El Gigante
8. Big Van Vader
7. Dustin Rhodes
6. Cactus Jack
5. Rick Steiner
4. Ricky Steamboat
3. Steve Austin
2. Sting
1. Rick Rude

Kip Allen Frey is introduced as the new boss of WCW. Why WCW insisted on having actual executives on TV as the boss characters is beyond me. They FINALLY woke up in like 1995 and had a character played by a wrestler (I mean Bockwinkel, not Watts, who actually was the boss). Frey was actually really good at what he did though, and SuperBrawl II would be proof of that. He had a very interesting policy: whoever had the best match at a televised show received (I believe) a $5000 cash bonus. Think that might get people motivated? He announces Sting vs. Luger for the title at SuperBrawl II.

The other thing Frey does is bring out the newest WCW color commentator: Jesse Ventura. This was a legit big deal and was probably the first high profile guy they took from Vince in a very long time. Jesse puts over WCW as the future and says he’ll be debuting soon, which also was at SuperBrawl.

Tony brings out Sting who high fives Jesse on the way to the ring. Luger (recorded) says he’s been gone to get ready for the match. In reality, he only had one contracted appearance left so he just sat out for two months. His match with Sting was HORRIBLE, and in one of the rare instances in history, it can be completely blamed on one guy instead of two as Luger didn’t care at all and gave maybe a 4% effort. Sting signs and the match is on.

For those of you wondering about Frey, he would be fired after the PPV because of an unspecified reason. The common answer is he was actually good at his job and that was simply unacceptable in WCW.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Hammer was a guy that made David Otunga look like Lou Thesz in the ring, but man was he popular. After Sting and Hogan, he was probably my favorite when I was a kid. Jack is a crazy man and this is falls count anywhere. Hammer has a guitar with him and fires something out of the end of it into Jack’s eyes. A slingshot cross body gets two about a second after the bell.

A big leg gets one (he would usually use a big boot beforehand. Hammer was tall and blonde. You figure it out) and Jack takes over. Cactus Clothesline puts them on the floor where Cactus gets two. Jack peels back the mats on the floor and jumps off the second rope with a sunset flip, hurting himself more than Hammer. They’re on the ramp now and we get a wrestling hold in the form of a sleeper by Jack.

Powerslam on the ramp gets two for Hammer. This is a very hard hitting match. Jack keeps clotheslining him down while Hammer tries to wrestle. Hammer throws Jack off the ramp where he lands with a thud. A clothesline to the floor gets two. They brawl to the back as the fans boo (no big screens yet) and we take a break. The stuff after the break was taped earlier, because it’s 1992 and that’s how they rolled back then.

They’re out in the parking lot and Jack hits him with a 2×4. A traffic cone to the head and they fight over to the bulls that are in place for an upcoming rodeo. Missy Hyatt is there to get on my nerves. Hammer chokes him with a rope so they climb into the pen with the bulls. Abdullah the Butcher pops up dressed as a cowboy and whacks Hammer with a shovel by mistake so Jack can get the pin.

Rating: B-. Before the break, this was a SICK brawl. Post break, it goes downhill quickly. Butcher as a cowboy is a very strange vision and not one that I need to see every day. Hammer would never really mean much after this which is probably the best thing that could have happened to everyone involved. It has nothing on Sting vs. Jack but it’s still good.

Butcher and Jack fight a bit with Butcher throwing Missy into a water trough.

Freebirds vs. Brad Armstrong/Big Josh

The Birds are now faces and no one cared. I mean no one AT ALL cared. They’re still singers and have a song nowhere near as good as Badstreet USA. They dance through the crowd and I want this to end already. Big Josh is a lumberjack that liked to dance with bears. Armstrong used to be a Freebird lackey in a mask (never acknowledged as the same guy). Hayes and Armstrong start us off.

The Birds, despite being a long running tag team, really doesn’t work together all that well. Granted that might be due to Garvin not being all that good. Off to Josh who has far better luck. He stomps on Hayes’ ribs and I think this is face vs. face but I’m really not sure. Back to Garvin and Josh punches him for awhile too. They ram heads which has no effect on Garvin at all. Back to Armstrong who hits a bunch of dropkicks. Everything breaks down and the Birds cheat to hit a double DDT on Armstrong for the pin.

Rating: F. This was one of the worst tag matches I’ve ever seen. The song didn’t help either with the title being “I’m a Freebird, What’s Your Excuse?” This was horrible and thankfully the Birds weren’t around much longer after this. It didn’t work at all and was one of the worst matches I can remember in a long time.

Video on the Steiners and how awesome they are. We get some clips of them winning huge matches and hear about Scott’s arm tearing apart and putting him on the shelf for a long time.

The Steiners say they’ll get the titles back because they never lost them fairly.

Vinnie Vegas vs. Tommy Rich

Vegas is more famous by his real name: Kevin Nash. Vegas is in suspenders, a white collared shirt and dress pants. Snake Eyes end this in less than a minute.

Dangerously says that someone is getting taken out tonight. He lists off what might happen to each of them and it’s classic Heyman. You can see in his eyes how fired up he is here. He gets in the great line of someone is going to the Magnum TA Wrestling Retirement Home.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton/Larry Zbyszko vs. Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes/Ron Simmons

Windham still has a bad hand due to Zbyszko. Eaton vs. Windham starts us off and Barry is all fired up. It works against him though and he gets caught in a superplex which he no sells. Big lariat puts Bobby down and Windham hits his own lariat (his finisher) for two. Everything breaks down and the Alliance is all put in Figure Fours. Off to Larry vs. Ron with Larry trying to use power on him for some reason. Arn and Larry combined can’t overpower him.

Ron is beating them up all on his own. For some reason Barry and Dustin just let him fight on his own and to be fair, it’s working pretty well. Off to Dustin and they work on Larry’s arm. Bobby comes in and Dustin is all fired up, throwing him over the top (behind the referee’s back) and hitting a huge diving clothesline to the ramp. Off to Larry vs. Barry and Barry misses a lariat. That’s the big feud to this match as Zbyszko and Anderson broke Barry’s hand at Halloween Havoc.

Off to Dustin and he misses a cross body, sending him flying and therefore crashing onto the ramp. Dustin takes a cell phone shot to the ribs and the Alliance is in control. Back in the Anderson Spinebuster gets two. Dustin gets in some punches but walks into a DDT. Arn’s cover is delayed though so it’s only two. Off to Eaton who hits a top rope elbow instead of the Alabama Jam for two.

Eaton misses a corner charge but Anderson saves the tag. Then we get to the big problem Arn has in his matches. Dustin is on the mat and Arn goes to the middle rope. He jumps off with a double axe handle and Dustin hits a boot to the jaw. What in the world was Arn going for, since he was jumping at the feet of Dustin the whole time? Either way it’s off to Barry vs. Larry Z and everything breaks down. Eaton comes off the top and jumps into the cast on Barry’s hand and that’s good for the pin.

Rating: B. Very fun tag match here and it shows the reason the Dangerous Alliance worked: everyone on the team was REALLY good and considering they only feuded with talented guys, the matches were almost a guaranteed awesome showcase. JR called the Alliance an All-Star team in this match and that’s about as good of a description as you can give them.

Tony is with the winning team in the back and Barry says he doesn’t care who says what because he’s coming for revenge. Awesome stuff again as Windham is all fired up.

Sting/Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude/Steve Austin

Austin is TV Champion and Rude is US Champion. My goodness Sting is ridiculously popular. Remember that Top Ten thing earlier? Check out #1-#4. Steamboat vs. Austin starts us off and Austin still has hair here. Jesse has joined commentary to replace Tony here. Ricky takes over to start and Steve has no idea what to do with him. Steamboat gets a bunch of two counts on Steve and fires off a superkick to knock him down. Rude takes a kick as well and the ring is cleared.

Rude comes in and he wants Sting. He slaps some of the paint off him and here’s the Stinger to the biggest pop of the night. Rude, ever the heel, hides in the corner immediately. Sting hits a pair of atomic drops and we get the best selling ever of that move. Sting rakes the back and we get some classic Jesse/face commentator banter of how can Sting do that and claim to be a hero.

Sting hooks a modified camel clutch for some reason. Rude’s ribs are his strong point so why put a hold on them? Now it’s Steamboat and they do the non-tag thing. The fans swear they did though and that’s good enough. They do it again as Austin tries to come in. JR, speaking of Sting: “Well he’s the legal man! That’s what you want right?” Sting tries to cannonball down onto Rude’s ribs but does the Anderson spot and lands balls first on the knees.

Austin vs. Sting in what would have drawn at least seven figure buys in 1998. Rude hooks a front facelock and keeps Sting from tagging. Back to Austin who punches the mat in an attempt to block a sunset flip and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat. Rude takes his head off as Sting was trying to come in and the Alliance controls some more. Austin avoids a rollup and everything breaks down. Sting and Austin fight up the ramp and then they come back. That was kind of pointless but whatever. Austin picks up Steamboat but Sting dives off the top with a crossbody and both pin Austin at the same time.

Rating: B. Remember the previous reason as why the six man was good? Same reason here but with four guys and better talent involved. The Alliance angle had YEARS worth of material in it but instead they lasted about six months because this is WCW. The Alliance was one of the greatest gatherings of talent ever, but it never became a memorable team because of WCW’s incompetence in promoting stars.

By the way, everything in that last sentence starting with the word one was from Arn Anderson, not me. So it’s not just my opinion but from someone on the team itself.

Rude and Austin annihilate Steamboat post match, whipping him with a belt as Sting tries to protect him.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a free TV show and we got pretty much 80% good stuff. When’s the last time you remember 80% of Raw or Impact being good to very good? The first half of 1992 was pure gold for WCW and once Luger’s laziness left and Sting got the title, it was all gravy for a long time. Then Vader came in and Sting had his best matches ever with him, so it got even better. Good show, but I still like 17 better I think.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #17: This Is A Free Show. Remember That.

Clash of the Champions 17
Date: November 19, 1991
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Attendance: 6,922
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

This is a show that I remember watching on a tape quite a few times. This is a stacked card with five title matches and the reveal of the major storyline at the time. There had been a lot of massive gift boxes being delivered to Sting and tonight we got to find out who had delivered guys like Cactus Jack and Abdullah the Butcher to try to hurt Sting and take him out. This is a nostalgia show for me but it still looks good. Let’s get to it.
We list off the title matches and everything looks good, but Rick Steiner is getting a world title shot vs. Luger. Well you can’t win everything I guess.

Tony and Jim run down the high points which is nothing of note. Missy and Eric, with THICK hair, talk about Missy’s interview with the newest rookie in the company: Marcus Alexander Bagwell.

Thomas Rich vs. Big Josh

TON of notes here. For one thing this is a lumberjack match. For those of you that aren’t old school enough or can’t get the name change, that would be Tommy Rich, as in the former NWA World Champion. Big Josh is the guy famous in WCW for dancing with bear cubs. In WWF he’s most famous for being the original Doink the Clown. Rich is in a group called the York Foundation led by Alexandra York, more famously known as Terri Runnels.

Ok now for the match even though I’m spent from all those notes. They used to be friends (a long time ago for you Veronica Mars fans. For those of you that don’t get that, go watch it as it’s a very underrated show) and then Rich turned heel so it’s a revenge match. Josh is this wilderness dude that wears jean shorts and a flannel shirt to the ring. The lumberjacks are a bunch of midcarders that mean nothing of note.

The Freebirds, I guess faces at this point, throw Rich back in. Richard Morton and Terrance Taylor, members of the Foundation, beat Josh up on the floor as you would expect them to. The match itself is nothing for the most part as it’s just filler for the lumberjack stuff. Taylor accidentally hooks Rich’s leg and Josh hits his seated senton to end it.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all. It filled in 8 minutes and wasn’t interesting in the slightest. Other than Sting this is one of the worst times for WCW other than its end as Flair was gone so no one bought Luger as champion. This was a good example of it: a guy that dances with bear cubs fighting a bunch of Wall Street guys that were barely able to beat jobbers. See why this was a bad time for the company? Boring match.

Firebreaker Chip vs. Bobby Eaton

Chip was part of a team with Todd Champion who were called the Patriots. Eaton was about to become a member of the Dangerous Alliance. Chip was this young guy that never really did much but I think they won the US Tag Titles at one point. The crowd is about as alive as Christian’s chances of main eventing Wrestlemania next year (get over it fanboys. It’s never happening).

Eaton was one of the best workers of the 80s and was still great at this point. It’s a shame this isn’t a tag match where he’s one of the best ever. This is just pure filler and Eaton hits a suplex and a bridge to get the pin. Yeah whatever.

Rating: D-. This was like the first match but just without an angle going with it. The crowd was dead and there was nothing of note here. There was nothing of note here but the wrestling was decent. This was just a match. That’s a good way to put it: this was just a match between two decent guy. Other than that there’s absolutely nothing here. It’s not horrific or anything but it’s just there.

Ad for Starrcade, which was the first Battlebowl and my first WCW show. I can’t wait for that show, even though it’s pretty terrible.

It’s time for the box thing and Sting’s entrance is something else. He’s just the US Champion here but he’s by far and away the most popular guy in the company and possibly the top star in the world at this point. A bunch of muscle guys bring this carriage without wheels thing out. There’s a name for it but I can’t think of it and it doesn’t really matter.

A woman (Madusa) pops out and tries to seduce Sting. This of course doesn’t work as Sting is a HERO. With his back turned though (Sting never was the smartest guy in the world) Lex Luger pops out of the carriage and hits Sting in his knee that was destroyed about a year and a half or so ago. In a funny bit Luger hits the left knee and the with Sting does goes after the right knee. Sting shakes his head and shouts NO and then Luger grabs the left one which is the bad one. An army of faces run him off after not a lot of knee damage. This comes into play later on.

Diamond Studd vs. Tom Zenk

The Diamond guy would go to WWF soon and imitate Al Pacino with a name of Razor Ramon. This match started in the break for some reason. Sting is being attended to in the back so we cut this down to a quarter of the screen. Sting is put in an ambulance and taken to a hospital. Back to the match and Zenk kicks Diamond Dude in the head and hits a crucifix to end it. He takes a Diamond Death Drop (Razor’s Edge) afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was just a backdrop so that Sting could leave.

TV Title: P.N. News vs. Steve Austin

These two feuded forever and it never went much of anywhere. News is a very fat rapper and very white on top of that. You might have heard of the other guy. This is still the old NWA TV Title which is far better looking than the more famous WCW one. News would dominate Austin for the most part and then Austin would either get out on a time limit draw or a DQ or a count out or something like that.

News completely dominates for the most part here while wearing bright orange with the words Yo Baby Yo Baby Yo all over his tights. Basically Austin can’t do anything here and knows it so he just tries to get in a shot where he can. He also has shoulder length blonde hair if you can imagine that. AUSTIN GOES LUCHA as he dives over the top with a flying forearm to save his lady friend.

For no apparent reason Austin goes for the stomach and of course that doesn’t work. They’re badly calling spots here as it amazes me that you could have a guy as talented as Austin stuck with a guy like News. Austin avoids an avalanche and uses his feet on the ropes to get the heel pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and Austin is always fun to watch. News wasn’t as bad as his gimmick makes him sound but since this is WCW we can let that slide I think. This was short enough to not be that bad as Austin cheats to win again, which is the whole point to this feud. Short and not that awful. Austin would become part of the Dangerous Alliance soon and be repackaged as a killer which were the seeds of his legendary character.

Missy talks to Bagwell and we actually see videos of him training. He’s 21 here and would be around for nearly 10 years which has to be one of the longest tenured guys in WCW history without leaving for anything other than injury.

It’s time for the Top Ten, which was updated weekly and rarely made anything resembling sense.

10. Vader
9. Bobby Eaton
8. Bill Kazmaier
7. Cactus Jack
6. Barry Windham
5. Dustin Rhodes
4. Ron Simmons
3. Steve Austin
2. Rick Steiner
1. Sting

Yeah….just a few odd ones in there.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Van Hammer is one of the weirdest cases in wrestling history. He was completely devoid of talent, his gimmick was that of a heavy metal guitarist and he couldn’t really talk. That being said, he was the second most popular guy in the company after Sting. I LOVED this guy and for the life of me I don’t know why. This was by far his biggest feud as he never did anything of note after this but whatever.

Jack jumps Hammer as a fairly attractive woman looks like she’s in ecstasy over him. Jack jumps him (Tony called it) and it’s on. This wasn’t a feud yet but it would become one. Hammer gets a dropkick to the stomach and we head to the floor. Hammer realizes he’s fighting Cactus Jack on the floor and goes back to the ring immediately.

Cactus Clothesline and we’re on the floor. It’s all Foley here until Van Hammer hits a clothesline to the back of the head which I think was one of his finishers. Jack gets Hammer’s guitar and hits him in the throat with it for the pin, which was Hammer’s first loss. They brawl to the back.

Rating: D+. This was pretty weak as Jack just beat him up for the most part and then cheated to win. This is probably too high though due to bias but that’s the fun part of nostalgic shows. Hammer would never really improve but obviously Jack would.

We get ahold of Eric on the phone at a hospital where Sting is. Way before he starts talking though we hear Eric tell Tony to move his head in a funny moment.

At Halloween Havoc The Enforcers (Zbyszko and Anderson) broke Barry Windham’s arm by slamming it in a car door, putting him out. Windham tried to keep wrestling but couldn’t, so Dustin Rhodes, his partner, has a mystery partner for the tag title match tonight. This is going to be awesome.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Dustin Rhodes/???

The champions don’t know who they’re fighting yet. Rhodes comes out with Windham who is in street clothes. We bring out Dustin’s partner but he’s in a black robe with a big dragon mask on. Oh you know where this is going. Dustin takes the dragon mask off and there’s a hood over his head.

If you didn’t get it, it’s RICKY FREAKING STEAMBOAT. Anderson loses his mind over this, clearly shouting NOT RICKY STEAMBOAT!!! The fans freaking erupt as Steamboat had been doing WWF house shows as recently as three weeks or so before this. HUGE shock and to say this is going to be a classic is an understatement.

Steamboat and Anderson start us off as the champions are trying to adjust on the fly. It’s a big brawl immediately on the floor for a bit. It’s ALL Rhodes and Steamboat here as they clean house. Larry’s arm gets worked over to start and it’s been one sided so far. Tony makes the stupid statement of you have to be a good singles wrestler to be a good tag wrestler. I’m not sure on that one. Now that I’m back from making a thread on it, let’s continue.

Anderson breaks tradition and comes off the top with a double axe that actually connects! That’s the extent of Anderson’s offense though as this continues to be one sided. Larry comes in and slows things down (shocking isn’t it?). Ricky uses martial arts and that’s using one of Larry’s moves some how. Well to an extent that’s true but it’s worded oddly.

The heels take over with good old fashioned double teaming. Can anyone sell a sunset flip like Arn Anderson? If they have I’d certainly like to see it. Why do wrestling companies always insist on showing us shots of the crowd in the middle of the match? We know they’re there and we can tell if they’re enjoying it or not. We don’t have to see them to prove it.

Arn and Larry use some great double team stuff and Arn busts out a bearhug. They work on Ricky’s back as this has been a very fun match. They switch out when the referee is busy and swear they tagged. Moments later Dustin and Ricky make a tag but the referee didn’t see it. The referee is of course Nick Patrick so did you expect anything less than nefarious means?

Dustin gets the hot tag and comes in to clean house, beating the heck out of both guys. He hits the bulldog on Arn and makes a blind tag. Arn doesn’t know it and walks into the cross body off the top and there’s no way you’re getting up from that. The roof is blown off again as the new champions celebrate.

Rating: A-. This was a great match including a great surprise for the partner. This was a televised title change which is something you never saw back in the day. They went old school here with the heels cheating and the faces working hard and everything worked. It’s a great match and considering this was on free TV, you can’t go wrong at all.

The Enforcers are mad about losing apparently because they didn’t sign to fight Steamboat. Arn and Eaton would team up to get the tag titles in a few months which became part of WrestleWar 92 which had probably the best gimmick match in WCW history. I’m looking forward to that one.

We get a music video about Jushin Liger, complete with clips of him beating up someone named Pegasus Kid. I’m sure he would never go anywhere.

Dangerously (Heyman) has the contract for the US Title match later tonight. There’s a clause in it that says if Sting can’t be there by the time the bell rings, Rude gets the title by forfeit. In a funny line Heyman says “I’m not lying this time.” Always a good sign that he has to point that out.

Jim is on the phone with Eric again who is with Sting. Ok never mind he’s not with Sting. Sting is apparently leaving and Eric tells him about the loophole where he’s going to have to forfeit and apparently steals an ambulance.

Light Heavyweight Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Brian Pillman

These two would put on a classic at Fall Brawl 95. Unfortunately that was when Badd had stopped having an overly flamboyant character and was getting ridiculously good ridiculously fast. On the way to the ring Badd has women putting money in his garter belt. What does that tell you? This title would evolve into the Cruiserweight Title in a few years and actually mean something.

Pillman and Liger had one of the best openers ever in a few months at Superbrawl but something tells me this isn’t going to be anything like that. The weight limit here is 236lbs for no adequately explained reason. Badd’s manager is Teddy “Peanut” Long. Has this guy EVER not been working? We hear again that Badd was a boxer which I think was at least partially true.

Pillman was completely awesome at this point while Badd was the opposite, which makes for an interesting dynamic here. They brawl to the floor and I’m trying to figure out if Badd is a heel or a face. Well the people are booing him but I’m not sure what that really proves in this case. Badd takes over for a bit but Pillman hits a nice spinwheel kick.

Badd totally botches the top rope sunset flip but Teddy has the referee for no apparent reason. We do the ram the wrestler into the guy on the apron for the rollup to end it. They managed to mess up the cradle too. Badd knocks out Long afterwards.

Rating: D+. Badd just isn’t that good. There’s no other way to put it: he’s just not that good. Pillman was more or less carrying this and while it’s not bad, it’s certainly not that good. Like I said though, Badd would improve a lot and in 95, these guys would have some wars.

United States Title: Rick Rude vs. Sting

Rude had debuted like a month earlier and had guaranteed that he would win the US Title from Sting. Paul cuts a promo talking about how Sting isn’t here but of course as he does the ambulance pulls up and Sting goes in the wrong door. His buddies help him out and the first is on the ramp. Sting is limping horribly and he manages to press slam Rude on the ramp which is impressive even if he’s healthy.

Crowd is electric here. This is ALL Sting as he realizes if he stops moving at all then Rude can get to his knee. Rude gets to it anyway and wraps the knee around the post. I remember FREAKING when this was on. Rude Awakening is blocked which I think had only been done in WWF by Warrior and Hogan at this point. Rude gets knocked down but rams into the knee on the way down.

Heyman gets a phone shot to the back of the head for a false finish. Ross is losing his mind of course and Dangerously is going nuts. DDT puts Rude down but a chop block and tights get Rude the title. This was like four minutes long but it never once slowed down at all. Rude would hold the belt for over a year and had to forfeit due to injury.

Rating: B+. This is WAY high, but the atmosphere here and the energy is completely insane. For less than five minutes long to get that kind of a reaction and do a TON of other stuff in the process, this means a ton. Let’s see what this accomplished.

1. It gets Rude over. Sting was the MAN in WCW and Rude just beat him for his title in his second match with the company. Rude had been a glorified midcarder until his last maybe five months in WWF and now he’s a total tough guy that beat Sting and is the US Champion.

2. It frees up Sting to fight Luger for the world title. Sting was clearly destined to win the world title but he had to get rid of the US belt first. This was like Cena losing the US Title to Orlando Jordan (yes young fans, that happened) before he could beat JBL for the world title.

3. It keeps Sting strong. It in essence took Madusa, Luger, Dangerously and Rude plus a cell phone and a bad knee to beat Sting. To manage to keep him strong and make Rude looks strong at the same time is a great thing. Sting keeps his credibility and Rude gets the rub.

4. It gives Sting a feud to come back to once he wins the world title. And dang was that feud awesome.

Not bad for four minutes and 50 seconds, counting the thirty seconds it took to get to the ring for the champion.

We go to Dangerously, Rude and Madusa who say it was all a setup and Luger was in on it too. He says WCW answers to him and forms the Dangerous Alliance who would eventually get Zbyszko, Anderson, Eaton and Austin to join Rude. Dangerously had been fired from being a commentator so he formed this team to get back at WCW. He would do the same thing with a guy named Brock after he was fired by Vince after the Invasion. Arn Anderson later said that this was one of the best groups of talent he had ever seen, and only WCW could manage to screw it up. That’s just funny.

Ron Simmons says he’ll be back from his wrist injury soon enough. Him winning the world title was mind blowing to say the least.

We recap Rick Steiner pinning Luger in a tag match and beating up Race.

WCW World Title: Rick Steiner vs. Lex Luger

This was supposed to be Simmons but the aforementioned wrist injury kept that from happening. Scott was also hurt if you were wondering why the more talented one isn’t in there instead. Steiner takes it to the mat and Luger is just beaten there. We hear about Scott having a one night manager’s license or something. This is where WCW got stupid at times: instead of having a license or something, he can’t just be there for his brother’s biggest match ever? WWF did it too and it was stupid then as well so shut up about my WWF bias. Yes I like WWF more and I’m going to cut them more slack. I like them more and have since I can remember. So to the people that keep complaining about it, let it go.

Steiner dominates early as you would expect. Steiner keeps dominating but Race yells at him and that somehow gives Luger the advantage. Did he scare a guy named the Dog Faced Gremlin into losing his advantage? Luger throws in a low blow and takes over. Luger pounds on him but Steiner just kind of shakes it off and makes his comeback. The top rope bulldog gets two as Luger puts his foot on the rope. Mr. Hughes, the bodyguard, and Scott Steiner come in and do nothing of importance. It lets Luger get a belt shot to Steiner to end it though.

Rating: D. The lack of drama hurts it as this was just literally thrown on at the end. It’s not horrible but seriously, RICK STEINER? No one else was available? This was just a weird match and while it’s watchable, it’s certainly not very good. It came and went though so there’s always that.

Tony and Jim talk about the hotline where they’ll have the decision on whether the tag title switch stands. LANCE RUSSELL and Gordon Solie are doing the talking. Any old school fan just came to that.

Overall Rating
: A-. This was a free show. I actually forgot about that a few times during the tape. To say the card is stacked and a lot happens here is an understatement. They fit 9 matches, five of which were title matches with two changes, into a two hour card. How’s THAT for efficiency? There’s also a major stable being formed and a classic tag match. Couple this in with the fact that this was thrown on TV for free and that the WWF PPV of the month was the abysmal Survivor Series and this is as one sided as it can get.