Clash of the Champions 16: Fall Brawl 91
Date: September 5, 1991
Location: Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

It’s late 91 in WCW so I’d bet on some focus on Sting and Luger. The main focus here seems to be on the Light Heavyweight Title Tournament which is a title that wound up going nowhere. Other than that there’s a tag team tournament final which means nothing for the most part. WCW in 91 was pretty weak to say the least but we have to get through this so let’s get to it.

Bischoff, Hyatt and Dangerously are going to be doing the interviews tonight apparently.

Battle Royal

Z-Man, Bobby Eaton, Ranger Ross (he still had a job at this point?), Tommy Rich, Young Pistol Tracy (Smothers), Oz (Nash), PN News (big fat white rapper), Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, Steve Austin (with a freaking ponytail), Dustin Rhodes, Terrance Taylor (sucks), Big Josh, Barry Windham, One Man Gang, El Gigante (legit 7’7)

Standard battle royal to start with people just beating on each other with no particular rhyme or reason. Gigante picks Taylor up and has his over the ropes but gently sits him down instead. The guy never was that smart. Then he puts Parker on the top rope and pulls him back in too. Dude, READ THE RULES!!! No one out yet I don’t think. Eaton and Austin finally to the apron but that gets them nowhere.

Big Josh tries to skin the cat and pulls out Ross and Taylor but goes out himself also, bringing us down to 12. Rich is out as is Parker. Z-Man is out as everyone left beats on Oz and Gang. Nine left at this point. Austin puts Tracy out. Gang LAUNCHES Eaton out as we’re down to seven. Make it six as News is out. Austin and Windham go out together so we’re down to Gang, Gigante, Rhodes and Oz.

The heels hammer down the good guys as I distinctly remember watching this show at some point in my life. It’s so weird to see Gigante towering over Nash. Rhodes goes out due to double teaming but the heels turn around and a double clothesline gives the giant the win. This was called the Georgia Brawl apparently. Ok then.

Rating: D. This was pretty awful for the most part. It’s really just a battle royal which isn’t all that interesting unless it’s for a title or the Rumble. This was just kind of there for the sake of getting a lot of people on the card at the same time, which is stupid when a lot of them have matches later. Not sure what the point was here.

Light Heavyweight Title Tournament Semi-Final: Badstreet vs. Brian Pillman

Badstreet is a member of the Freebirds and is Brad Armstrong in a mask. They threw gimmick after gimmick at him in hopes of getting him over. It didn’t work, but that’s old school style to say the least. This is Pillman’s return to WCW match after being the Yellow Dog (masked guy, everyone knew who he was) forever. Four man tournament apparently. Oh apparently he got a first round bye. That helps a little.

Badstreet cheats of course while Pillman continues to be about five years ahead of his time with his Cruiserweight style stuff. Slingshot sunset flip gets two as we can hear the director. Dropkick to the apron sets up a suplex back into the ring for Pillman, but Badstreet counters into a suplex to the floor in a pretty nice move. That isn’t a DQ though as we change the rules again.

Brian is sent into the railing as Badstreet takes over a bit. Up to the apron again and Pillman is sent into the post. After a good long rest for him because Badstreet is kind of stupid, Pillman gets a slingshot cross body for two. Neckbreaker gets two for the masked dude. Pillman dropkicks him off the top and adds in a suicide dive to the floor. Missile dropkick misses but a spinwheel kick gets two, both by Pillman. Badstreet gets a DDT for two. Crucifix by Brian is countered into a Samoan Drop and up they go. Pillman knocks him off the top and a top rope cross body (Air Pillman) ends this.

Rating: B+. AWESOME match here and keep in mind that this is 1991. This is something that would have been awesome in 1997 and yet they were doing it years early. It’s scary to think of what Pillman could have done if he hadn’t destroyed his ankle. Really liked this one and the whole thing worked very well. Great match.

WCW Top Ten:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Diamond Stud
7. One Man Gang
6. Dustin Rhodes
5. Steve Austin
4. El Gigante
3. Barry Windham
2. Ron Simmons
1. Sting

World Champion: Lex Luger.

They did this every week and it really never meant much. Naturally they hyped it forever because that’s how WCW rolls.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Sting

Badd is the gay character that we don’t say is gay. He’s also heel (mostly) and undefeated. Sting is US Champion here but it’s non-title. He also doesn’t seem to have the belt with him but whatever. This was during the gift box angle which was about Luger vs. Sting eventually. They shake hands to start as Badd wants to use his left hand. Sting plants him but a Vader Bomb (maybe that’s why the feuded!!!) gets knees.

Sting no sells it and Badd hits his top rope sunset flip for two. Sting gets a small package for two as this is a rather fast paced match. And now we slow things WAY down as it’s a wristlock fight. It’s so weird to think that this is nearly twenty years old. Sting grabs an armbar as this has gotten boring in a hurry.

As Badd pops off some punches that miss, another gift box is delivered. Stinger Splash misses and Badd gets his left hand, but it’s just to the ribs. Badd thinks the box is for him and turns his back on Sting but the more famous dude is too hurt to capitalize. Sting sees the box now as the match stops completely. Sting grabs an AWFUL small package to end it.

Rating: D. Other than the fast paced opening, this was them just waiting on the whole box angle to happen. Once that happened, the whole thing came to the fastest screeching halt you’ll ever see. Boring match overall as Badd was a comedy guy and Sting was never in any danger here.

Post match Cactus Jack pops out of the box, apparently debuting and massacring Sting with a top rope elbow to the floor and the double arm DDT. Eaton and Big Josh run out for the save. They wouldn’t have their blowoff match for about 9 months, but dang it was worth the wait.

Light Heavyweight Title Tournament Semi-Final: Mike Graham vs. Richard Morton

Morton is part of the York Foundation and is managed by Alexandra York, more famous as Terri. Morton looks exactly the same as he did in the Rock N Roll Express so the heel turn didn’t really work. Graham is the son of Eddie Graham, who is considered one of the best bookers ever and was based in Florida. Morton gets a Boston Crab after starting on his back. Not bad.

They trade some pin and submission attempts so Morton hits the floor for awhile. He checks what the computer tells him to do (just go with it) and heads back in. They head to the mat and this is rather boring already. Graham gets something resembling a German suplex out of the corner for two. Morton takes over for a bit before Graham grabs a Figure Four. Not that it matters as Morton is in the ropes so we’re back to the uninteresting wrestling.

Graham is painfully boring in the ring. That’s really all there is to it about him. He’s here because his dad is famous and that’s about it. He throws on an Indian Deathlock as the fans flat out do not care at all. They need to end this match already. Apparently Graham used to put holds on Gordon Solie. Random but ok. Rolling half nelson gets two for Graham. York gets on the apron which doesn’t mean much of anything. Morton rolls him up and uses the tights to advance to the finals.

Rating: D. Really boring match here as nothing of interest was going on at all. Graham is really boring and Morton is a failure as a heel for the most part. I mean, cut your hair or something dude. Really boring match that no one cared about for the most part here. It set up the match at the PPV I guess, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth seeing.

Time for Bill Kazmaier, a legit winner of the World’s Strongest Man, is going to attempt to break a world record. What record this is we don’t really establish but that’s not really important. He’s in the tag title final later on tonight so I smell an angle here. Four guys bring out a big globe thing but Kazmaier is going to bend a rod over his head instead. Somehow this is a record. The bar bends but here are the Enforcers (Zbyszko and Anderson) who are in the title match with Kaz and Rick Steiner later. They hit him in the ribs with a weight and leave. Hey I was right.

Freebirds vs. Patriots

The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip. They’re from WCW Special Forces, whatever that’s supposed to be. The Birds are doing their rock band gimmick here. One Patriot is a soldier and one is a fireman. Ok then. Hayes vs. Chip to start us off. Hayes naturally stalls because that’s what he does. Ross makes baseball comparisons because he has nothing else to do.

The Birds are the US Tag Champions and will defend against the Patriots on Saturday. Why they’re not doing it here? Who knows of course. The Patriots clear the ring as this isn’t going to be much of a match methinks. Garvin vs. Chip now and it’s pretty clear that the Patriots aren’t that good. We begin a rather boring match as neither team have guys you want to run a match. Off to Champion who beats on the actual champion known as Hayes. Everything breaks down and with some heel cheating, Garvin pins Chip. The Patriots would get the titles Saturday.

Rating: D. That grade is becoming a standard for this show somehow. Weak match again as neither team had any idea of what they were doing. That being said also, why in the world would we have this match be non-title on whatever night this is and then have the title match like three days later? It’s WCW. I guess that’s why.

Here’s Paul E. Dangerously to talk to Cactus Jack. Jack won’t say who the mastermind is but wants a round of applause for Sting because his career is OVER. Another gift box comes out which Jack says has Abdullah in it. Naturally as Jack goes to give him a hug it’s Sting in the box and the fight is on. These two would feud on and off for a long time before their classic in June which is still one of my all time favorite matches.

We get a clip of Ron Simmons having his jersey retired at Florida State. Bobby Bowden, the coach of Florida State, says Simmons is awesome.

Ron Simmons vs. Diamond Stud

Stud is more famous as Scott Hall. So let’s see. Hall is a guy who has something to do with diamonds and Nash is Oz. As in Wizard of Oz. There’s nothing hidden to it as he was billed as being from the Emerald City. A few years later they told Austin and Foley there was no way to market them. And people wonder why they went out of business. Simmons is currently on a roll and is signing the contract for the world title match later.

Stud jumps him to start and Simmons pretends to actually be in trouble here. That’s so cute. Simmons starts hammering away but walks into a half Rock Bottom/half chokeslam for two. Middle rope bulldog hits but Stud poses to get rolled up for two. Simmons starts his comeback and there’s the spinebuster. Shoulder block and we’re done quick. Simmons was on the roll of a lifetime here but wouldn’t win the title for almost a year. No rating due to length but it was just a workout for Simmons.

Dangerously talks to Simmons post match and he says he’ll accomplish his dream. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out and Simmons says he wants Luger, not them.

Terrance Taylor vs. Van Hammer

Hammer is debuting here and would become arguably the third most popular guy in the company and maybe even the second. What do you think is going to happen here? Taylor hammers away and Hammer no sells it. Hammer gets something close to We Will Rock You going and a top rope knee drop ends this. Seriously, that’s his finisher? Total squash.

Missy Hyatt finally gets her interview in the locker room of Luger. She’s been trying to do this for months and Simmons interrupts this one too. They throw him out so he breaks the door down. This goes nowhere.

TV Title: Steve Austin vs. Z-Man

Austin is champion and still has the old NWA style TV Title. Austin’s tights look like they have confetti on them. Z-Man is a former champion also. Basic match to start as Austin has his arm worked on. They ram into each other with Austin’s blonde hair flowing. That’s a weird thing to see indeed. Lots of headlocks follow as this isn’t much of a match at all.

When I say that I mean there’s no real effort here. They’re having a match and while they’re not doing anything particularly wrong, you can tell there’s almost no effort at all in it. They’re going through the motions out there with a lot of arm work and all that jazz. Z-Man hits a superkick and Austin stalls a lot. Slingshot cross body to the ramp hits but a top rope one misses completely.

Off to the chinlock to waste some time. Austin had a habit of trying to milk the clock as much as he could which I guess is what he’s trying to do here. There’s the Stun Gun (flapjack onto the top rope) but Austin doesn’t cover. Small package gets two for Z and we hit the sleeper. Austin’s chick named Lady Blossom gives him an object and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Boring match until the end and the whole thing didn’t work at all for the most part. Like I said they were going through the motions the entire time. Zenk (What do you think the Z stood for?) was a guy that was ok at times but at other times he was rather boring indeed, with this being one of those times.

We get a video on Ron Simmons giving a speech to some kids.

Time for the contract signing but Luger wants to wait awhile first. While we wait, here’s another video on Simmons bringing some kids to the Omni to see him wrestle.

Here’s the actual signing and Luger is ready. They do this on the stage instead of in the ring for once. Ron signs up as Dusty Rhodes is there for no apparent reason. Literally, the announcers are asking why he’s there. Luger gives a quick promo and just get to the brawl already. Things get interesting as Luger mentions that Simmons can be the first black champion but when he loses, Simmons can be Lex’s driver. Playing the race card is kind of interesting.

We recap the tag title tournament in reverse which is weird but it fills in time.

World Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Bill Kazmaier/Rick Steiner

The Steiners had to drop the titles because Scott got hurt so this is a tournament final. Kaz is hurt from earlier so that’ll probably play into the ending. We’re rapidly running out of time here with entrances still going on and less than seven minutes in the show. Rick clears the ring to start and it’s more or less a handicap match due to the rib injury. Powerslam takes Anderson down for two.

Kaz is just chilling on the apron while it’s 2-1. So why is he here anyway? Larry works on the arm and amazingly doesn’t stall. Off to Anderson as the Enforcers talk trash to Kaz. Really basic match here as Steiner can’t fight off the numbers. Steiner gets a suplex to take Anderson down but can’t get a belly to belly off the middle rope. Kaz tags himself in but Anderson gets a shot in to the ribs for Larry to fall on top for the titles. Barely ran three minutes.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this again? Did we really need all the earlier matches on here for the sake of having a three minute title match in the main event? Kaz never meant anything but he looked good so that’s about all he had. Scott would be back soon enough, but this was pretty worthless.

The Enforcers brag to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty awful as they more or less phoned the whole thing in. 91 in WCW was pretty awful as they had very little thinking in their entire show with this being no exception at all. Sting would feud with everyone at the same time more or less, but this would be put on hold as the Dangerous Alliance would form at Halloween Havoc to make things really awesome in a hurry. This however, wasn’t awesome at all. Not worth seeing at all.

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Clash of the Champions 15: Knocksville USA
Date: June 12, 1991
Location: Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

Let’s get the most important thing out of the way first: that is a very dumb pun for a title. This is a weird show for WCW as Flair was on his way out due to WCW being really stupid. The main event is Flair defending the title against Bobby Eaton in a 2/3 falls match which should be awesome. This is a very old school style show in that there are a lot of matches but most of them are short. Let’s get to it.

Missy Hyatt opens the show but Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman) comes out to wonder why he wasn’t told they were going live.

Young Pistols/Z-Man vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Steve Armstrong/Tracy Smothers and the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong, Steve’s real life brother, under a mask. The Freebirds are US Tag Champions here and have two managers: Big Daddy Dink who is more famous as Oliver Humperdink and Diamond Dallas Page who is more famous as Diamond Dallas Page. Garvin vs. Z-Man to start us off.

Bill Alfonso, as in Fonzie from ECW, is the referee. Everything breaks down quickly and the good guys clear the ring. Smothers vs. Hayes now and Smothers takes over. The Birds beat the Pistols at SuperBrawl for the titles so there’s a history there. The ring gets cleared out again and it’s off to Garvin again. Badstreet comes in and Smothers evades all of them for awhile until Badstreet sends him to the floor. Smothers takes a hot shot onto the railing and Z-Man is down too for some reason. Everything breaks down again and the three good guys are thrown out twice. They come back in and hit three stereo sunset flips for the pin.

Rating: C. We’ll ignore that the ending was totally illegal because it was kind of a cool looking thing. The match wasn’t bad and was there to get the crowd into the show which is the whole point. The Pistols never did much of anything and Z-Man either had just lost the TV Title or was about to get it. After that he didn’t do much either. These guys had nothing else to do so throw them in a tag match. That’s old school booking 103.

Enter the Great American Bash Ric Flair Sweepstakes for a chance to meet Ric Flair who was in the WWF by that time! That’s the final WCW PPV I’m going to review also as it’s possibly the worst show ever.

Oz vs. Johnny Rich

Oz is just what he sounds like: a character based on the Wizard of Oz. He comes out of a castle that is so real you can see it shake from the smoke machines. He has the Great Wizard (Kevin Sullivan) with him and Oz himself is more famous as Kevin Nash. You might ask why this character exists. That would be because Ted Turner’s TBS station had acquired the rights to the film Wizard of Oz. Seriously, that’s it. After the big slow entrance, Nash wrestles a faster version of what he usually does, totally missing the point. He finishes with an Eye of the Storm (James Storm’s move) which is called the Emerald City Slam. Just a squash here.

PN News is coming. Oh dear. He’s a guy the size of Mark Henry and a very white rapper.

Dan Spivey vs. Big Josh

Josh is a lumberjack that danced with bear cubs. Are you starting to get why this period was AWFUL for WCW? Spivey is really tall so this is power vs. power. Neither guy is very good and this is almost all punching. Spivery gets a big boot but walks into a suplex. They miscommunicate on something and Josh gets a German for no cover. Here’s Kevin Sullivan still in his Wizard stuff to break a crutch over Josh’s back and a German suplex pins him. This was nothing.

The WCW Top Ten:
1. Lex Luger
2. Great Muta
3. El Gigante
4. Bobby Eaton
5. Nikita Koloff
6. Sting
7. Arn Anderson
8. Barry Windham
9. One Man Gang
10. Steve Austin

All are under Flair of course.

Here’s the Danger Zone which is Dangerously’s talk segment. He brings out Jason Hervey because that little fungus has to be on every WCW show EVER. Heyman won’t let him say anything other than like one word. They talk about the Wonder Years and Dangerously says Hervey is dating Missy Hyatt who Dangerously feuded with forever. Hervey gets mad and gets hit with the phone so Missy comes out for the save.

Terrance Taylor vs. Dustin Rhodes

Rhodes is REALLY young here and not that good. Taylor is the Computerized Man of the 90s and part of the York Foundation. He has Alexandra York with him who is more famous as Terri Runnels plus Mr. Hughes. Rhodes is undefeated which I’m sure has nothing to do with his fat daddy booking things. There’s going to be a new member of the Foundation tonight.

Dustin beats the tar out of him to start but misses a charge in the corner and hits the post. Isn’t that always the way for overly perky faces. Taylor gets a bottom rope suplex of all things back in for two. Gutwrench powerbomb gets the same. Dustin fights back and hits the Flip Flop and Fly to take over. He hits the bulldog but Hughes gets up on the apron. Ricky Morton is here for some reason and the match is thrown out. Morton beats Dustin down and he’s the new member of the Foundation.

Rating: D. This was nothing other than a way for Morton to come in for the turn at the end. Rhodes and the Foundation feuded for a long time as Robert Gibson was recovering from a knee injury. This wasn’t a very good match as Dustin was the boss’ son and that’s about it. No one was interested in it but the turn at the end was a nice touch.

Big Josh makes the save.

Johnny B. Badd is coming. His character is gay but we’re not going to say that because it’s 1991.

We recap Nikita Koloff jumping Sting by mistake at the first SuperBrawl to end the classic tag match. This set up a huge feud which is being blown off here.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff

I remember these two having a chain match later so maybe this isn’t the blowoff. Sting runs to the ring and is pounded down quickly. No one ever accused Sting of being the brightest guy in the world. Koloff hits a flying tackle and Sting is in big trouble. Out to the floor and Sting goes into the railing. Out of nowhere Sting hits a piledriver but Koloff is up first.

Koloff drops him on his head with a tombstone for two. He kicks at the ribs and blocks a sunset flip. The second attempt works and Sting gets two. Koloff hammers on the ribs again and the extended squash continues. Nikita even throws in an evil laugh because he’s foreign and foreign people are bad. Out to the floor and Sting manages to reverse Koloff into the barricade. Back inside Sting hits a tombstone of his own and makes his comeback. He fires away with that unique style of offense of his but the Splash misses and Koloff loads up the Sickle but Sting ducks and grabs a rollup for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The crowd was WAY into this but the match was pretty dull. Koloff just didn’t care anymore at this point as his wife had passed away a few years before and he wanted out of wrestling to run his gym. He would be gone pretty soon after the Bash and would come back for a summer run in WCW before retiring for good. The crowd carried this a lot and it helped keep the match from being worse than it should have been.

PN News and the chicks from Salt N Peppa are here to rap. This is……well let’s go with William Regal will win a grammy for best rapping before this guy. Johnny B. Badd and Teddy Long appear and talk about how they’re tired of being held down or something. Badd leaves and this is worthless.

Diamond Studd is coming. In a year or so he would imitate Al Pacino from Scarface and call himself Razor Ramon.

Barry Windham/Arn Anderson vs. El Gigante/Brian Pillman

Whoever takes the fall is out of WCW. Brian vs. Arn to get us going in a future battle of the Horsemen. Off to Windham who pounds him down but a spin kick gets two for Pillman. Back to Arn and I guess we’re waiting on the hot tag to Gigante, kind of like when Giant and Sullivan beat up Anderson and Benoit in 96. They can’t beat Gigante so avoid him at all costs. He gets his hand in on Anderson but Windham makes the save.

They do the Andre/Snuka spot for a cross body for two on Windham. Gigante and Anderson go to the floor as Pillman is shoved off the top and Windham kicks him in the face for the pin. Not long enough to rate but Pillman was back in a mask by the PPV which was one of those things where everyone knew who he was but it was a joke or something.

Great American Bash report, which was a tour but there was a PPV for one night of the show.

We get a clip from the ending of Bash 90 with Sting taking the title off Flair. Also stuff from the Steiners beating the Freebirds.

Clip from the WCW/New Japan Supershow where the Steiners won the IWGP Tag Titles.

IWGP Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Hiroshi Hase/Masahiro Chono

Hase vs. Scott to start and Hase hits an enziguri (called a karate kick) to send Steiner to the floor. Steiner takes a beating so it’s off to Rick who is more popular here. Chono comes in and hits the Mafia Kick and then a second one. A third one can’t put Rick down so he hits a Steiner Line instead. Off to Scott and the Steiners hit a move that would have been a cool finisher for another team but for the Steiners it’s just another move. Scott sets for an Outsider’s Edge and Rick drops a top rope elbow at the same time to drive Chono down.

Off to Hase and the American hits a German on the Japanese dude. Rick’s headset is coming off. But how will he know when to breathe without the voice telling him when to inhale? (Why else would he wear that thing?) It’s off to the rookie Chono which is weird to say. He recently had a match with Lou Thesz of all people and hooks in an STF to prove it. Scott and Hase fight on the floor as Rick has been in the hold about 30 seconds. Scott gets to the apron and comes off the top, missing completely to the point where he has to break it up again.

Scott comes back in and runs over Hase so he can hit a butterfly bomb for two. There’s a belly to belly off the top for two and Hase is about dead. Chono saves and a dragon suplex gets two. This is getting a lot better as it goes on. The Japanese try an Irish on the American but Rick pulls Chono out so Scott can hit a Frankensteiner on Hase for the pin. JR’s American spirit pops out as he FREAKS about the Steiners retaining.

Rating: B. Very good match here as the Japanese team was all over the place with cool suplexes and the Steiners were more than capable of hanging with them, which gave us something that you almost never saw in America at this point. Hase would team with Muta to take the titles from the Steiners later in the year.

Post match, the Hardliners, Dick Slater and Dick Murdoch, come out and beat up both teams. During the beatdown they legit injured Scott’s arm. He had to have surgery and wasn’t ever really the same. Keep in mind that this was when WCW basically had the world title on standby for him whenever he was ready to break up the Steiners, so this was a pretty big deal.

Diamond Studd vs. Tommy Rich

Total squash and Rich’s only offense is some basic stuff after getting his knees up on a Vader Bomb. Razor’s Edge ends it. This lasted about 90 seconds.

A kid won a Sting look-a-like contest. He gets to meet Sting. The kid freaks out so this is kind of cool. Koloff jumps him, setting up the rematch at the Bash. That’s where the chain match was. I knew it happened somewhere.

US Title: Great Muta vs. Lex Luger

Luger is champion and the winner gets the title and the world title shot at the Bash. Muta spits out some mist before the match begins. There’s nothing really going on as far as flow to it but it’s big star vs. big star. Luger uses his power stuff but misses an elbow so Muta can stomp away. A gorilla press puts Muta down but Lex misses a charge and takes a big kick. The handspring elbow misses and Muta crashes to the floor. At least that looked cool. Back in Muta loads up the mist but Luger comes up with a counter that somehow no one else ever thought of: he covers his eyes. A powerslam ends this five seconds later.

Rating: D. Match sucked but I’m more impressed by that block. I mean, of all people, LEX LUGER is the clever one??? Even with all these reviews I can still be surprised. Anyway Lex would go on to main event the Bash in a match I can’t wait to get to for how stupid it is. Muta would go back to Japan and would only appear on occasion.

There’s a guy coming to WCW. His name is Steve Austin. Wait….he’d be TV Champion at this point. I’m going to give up trying to figure out WCW. It’ll add years on to my life.

Steve Austin vs. Joey Maggs

Oh ok he had won the title but the episode hadn’t aired yet. Austin’s manager is a chick named Lady Blossom who has a chest that is probably bigger than Trish’s and still works. Austin hits the Stun Gun and we’re done in about 40 seconds.

We continue the Coming Attractions thing which is what they’ve been using to talk about new people all night. This is for Black Blood, which is Billy Jack Haynes as an executioner.

Richard Morton is introduced as the newest member of the York Foundation. He’s in a suit with the rocker hair. He talks about not having to sign autographs anymore. Gibson comes out and is medically cleared now. Morton beats him up and piledrives him. Dustin Rhodes comes out for the save. This might have lasted a minute.

WCW World Title: Bobby Eaton vs. Ric Flair

2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and Eaton gets in a slap to tick Flair off. A clothesline puts Flair outside and they’re going slow to start but they have enough time for it. Back in Flair gets him in the corner and Eaton isn’t a big enough face to shrug those off. Eaton fires away on him and there’s a Flair Flop. Bobby grabs a shortarm scissors and I’m not sure if that would hurt or not.

There’s a little old lady in the front row that is having a blast. Flair keeps getting a little rush of offense but Eaton counters it every time. Flair sends him into the corner and Eaton’s head might have hit the post. That’s enough for Flair as he goes in with his usual stuff. After working over the arm for a bit they get back up and slug it out with Eaton taking over again. Flair goes up and Ross makes a joke about how that never works.

Flair Flip in the corner and a right hand takes him down. Something like a Boss Man Slam into a backbreaker puts Flair down and a big swinging neckbreaker looks to set up the Alabama Jam. It’s a top rope legdrop and it puts Eaton up 1-0. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls. They slug it out again and Flair can’t keep up with him.

Backslide gets two. Eaton hits another neckbreaker and goes up again but Flair pops up this time and in a smart move, Eaton comes back in instead of going up. Flair is put down again but as Eaton goes up he gets shoved off and hits his knee on the floor, causing a count-out to tie things up.

Back in Eaton hits a superplex but can’t capitalize because of the knee. Eventually the cover gets two and Flair sets for the knee crusher. For absolutely no apparent reason he picks Eaton up for it….and suplexes him instead. He has the knee held back too so it was clearly that move. Anyway Flair goes after the knee and gets the Figure Four after two failed attempts. After a few moments in there, Flair grabs the ropes and Eaton blacks out from the pain for the pin and Flair retains.

Rating: B. It’s a good match and the first fall is by far the best. Eaton was a very good hand for WCW and you could throw him in for a quick TV title shot like this and get a good result like this. Flair working on the knee makes sense and after sitting through a show this long and boring, this was probably a bit high but I don’t care at this point. The show is over and that’s all that matters.

JR and Tony wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event is good and the tag match was good, but MAN the rest of this show is dull. These new guys that were being brought in had no real stories to them or anything like that and as a result, no one was all that interested in them. This all led up to the Bash which is absolutely dreadful. Anyway this was another weak show but 91 wasn’t a kind year to WCW. Sting vs. Koloff was a huge feud but this match was nothing worth seeing. Bad show but it has its moments.

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Clash of the Champions 14: Dixie Dynamite
Date: January 31, 1991
Location: Georgia Mountains Center, Gainsville, Georgia
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

Another one of these and it’s from a pretty bad era for the company. Unlike the one later this year, this show looks atrocious on paper. This is the first one in WCW rather than the NWA so I would expect a few changes. Also Dusty is the booker again so expect the Dusty Finish to abound. The main event is Scott Steiner vs. Ric Flair for the title. I’m not exactly riveted either. Let’s get to it.

After a quick look at the top two matches we get a very 80s opening. You can tell the arena is tiny. I wonder if AJ was there.

National Anthem.

Dusty talks a lot and won’t shut up.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Doom

Luger is of course US Champion here as he more or less always was. I love that old Sting music. And then again the same can be said of Doom’s music. They’re the tag team champions here in the longest reign in the history of the belts. Ron Simmons and Butch Reed if you weren’t familiar with that. This isn’t announced as a title match but the referee holds up the belts. I guess it is one then.

Reed vs. Sting to start us off. Sting overpowers Reed which is rather impressive. Even in an armbar he shouts to the crowd. Notice what he’s doing there: he doesn’t let the crowd get taken out of it, even in a rest hold. That’s a very nice thing to do. Luger in now as Dusty talks a lot. Ross says in about 5 seconds what it took Dusty 30 to say. We hear about Wrestlewar a little bit where Luger is defending the title.

Simmons vs. Luger now and Ron can’t take him down with shoulders. You can see Simmons wanting to shout his catchphrase. Luger dominates him with power. How often do you see Doom losing to power stuff? Luger walks into a hot shot though and the champions take over. After a break it’s still Doom in control.

Simmons puts his head down though and Luger manages to get a knee/kick in to put Ron down. Simmons gets the tag though to bring in Reed who hits a dropkick of all things to take down Luger. Dusty talks about football to waste even more time. Luger finally takes down Simmons but Reed drills him with a top rope shoulder block to take him right back down. The problem is that it took him right down into his corner. Well isn’t that always the way?

Sting comes in to clean house but Dan Spivey runs out of the crowd to take down Luger. Spivey was Luger’s upcoming opponent at the PPV if I didn’t mention that. Sting doesn’t seem to care and beats up Doom on his own. Reed hits a shoulder to Simmons by mistake and he stumbles into the referee. The referee gets up in time to see Sting get thrown over the top for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: C. Well it was fun while it lasted but I’ve never been able to stand that over the top rule. This was kind of a backdrop for the Spivey vs. Luger match but that didn’t exactly work. It was ok I guess but the match didn’t really go anywhere and the titles never felt like they were in danger at all.

We unveil the winner of the WCW’s Sexiest Wrestler award. It’s Z-Man. Next.

TV Title: Z-Man vs. Bobby Eaton

Z-Man is champion here. They REALLY crank in chants for Bobby here. Either that or 2000 people can chant louder for Bobby Eaton than they can for Goldberg. Dusty talks about how great both guys are. I can see why Z-Man won the sexiest wrestler thing. Apparently Zenk had already lost the title at a TV Taping so this shouldn’t really mean much at all. This is live mind you so imagine his mindset.

Dusty’s voice gets REALLY old when he’s comfortable which he definitely is here. The problem is that he talks A LOT. Eaton works the arm a bit but goes up and Z-Man hits a sweet dropkick to send him to the floor. And then Dusty talks about how great Brian Pillman is for no apparent reason. He also can’t wait to remind us that he’s a former TV Champion either.

They start slugging it out as Dusty is getting harder and harder to ignore. We hit a test of strength as Ross says Terry Taylor is a tough guy. Oh dear. If this is the show I think it is we get another stupid moment in WCW history coming up very soon. As Dusty talks about getting hit in the head with a stick, Eaton goes up again and gets caught one more time.

Superkick puts Eaton down. Big backdrop and Eaton is in trouble. Who covers someone off a backdrop? Who does he think he is, Moolah? Eaton gets him down and manages to get the top rope knee drop but Z-Man gets to the ropes. Cradle gets two for the champion but he walks into a neckbreaker that gets two for Eaton.

You can see fans leaving for the concession stand. Nice to see a title match has them so enthralled. Z-Man gets a freaking back slide of all things to get the pin to retain. Eaton’s shoulder might have been up though so expect another match before the airing of Arn winning the title.

Rating: C+. This started out slow but it got a lot better once they picked up the pace a bit. Eaton is a guy that is straight up underrated in wrestling as he consistently put on great match after great match. This was fine for what it was, even though it would have been understandable for Z-Man to do next to nothing out there.

The replay shows that it wasn’t even close with Eaton completely kicking out before three. That was pretty bad.

Alexandra York (Terri) says that she has selected the newest member of the York Foundation (computer assisted heel group that more or less sucked) and we’ll see him tonight.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Allen Iron Eagle/Tommy Rich

I don’t know who Eagle is either. This is Garvin and Hayes. The Birds are heels here but good luck getting a team called the Freebirds booed in Georgia. Dang it now I’m going to have Badstreet USA stuck in my head all day. Hayes and Rich start as we actually get a reference to the world title reign of Rich. Eagle is another Indian character.

The Indian character of course chops a lot. I’m stunned too. Garvin does….something and down goes Eagle. Eagle ducked his head like he was going for a backdrop and Garvin ran up to him to set for a DDT (finisher) but Eagle just fell backwards. Weird as heck  but whatever. We hit the chinlock as this isn’t much at all. Hayes punches him and it sounds great. Eagle forgets to sell and just stands there, making him one of the worst guys I’ve seen in a long time.

Dusty and Jim try desperately to say that Eagle was stunned from the move and it’s just funny as can be. Anyway, Hayes is ticked and beats the tar out of him on the floor with some hard stuff. When Michael Hayes is the ring general, you know you’re in real trouble. Dusty of course talks about being able to go down Badstreet and be ok because he’s tough.

Amazingly enough they manage to screw up something else with Eagle not realizing that Garvin is supposed to be doing a blind charge so Garvin has to throw up a knee to save the spot. Everyone comes in and we get an awkward looking kick to the guy before an awkward looking sunset flip sets up the tag to Rich that isn’t seen. The Birds DDT the heck out of Eagle to end it, thankfully.

Rating: D-. This is a horrible match, but it’s one of those matches where you can laugh at it very hard. The match is bad, don’t get me wrong, but Eagle was so bad that he was hilarious. There were at least 5 botched spots in a seven minute match. Let that sink in for a bit. It really was that bad.

Dusty talks to Paul E. Dangerously about the arm wrestling match tonight with Missy Hyatt and implies that Paul is gay. Dusty of course has more to talk about which is what he’s there for. Dusty’s comments here are flat out sexist but it’s Georgia so he can get away with it I guess. Somehow Heyman gets into I Have A Dream. Moving on.

Joey Maggs vs. Sid Vicious

What do you think is going to happen here? Sid brings his own paramedics with him if that tells you anything. Sid’s hometown of Anywhere He Darn Well Pleases is still great stuff. He’s a Horseman here too. A clothesline and powerbomb end this in maybe a minute. Sid was a bit of a nut but that powerbomb was sweet every time. The paramedics come out and we take a break. Back with Sid beating up Maggs some more on the stretcher. That’s kind of awesome.

Tony talks to Sid who says everyone fears him.

Ricky Morton vs. Terry Taylor

Here’s another one of WCW’s famous goofs. Terry Taylor is introduced as the Computerized Man of the 90s. That would be all fine and good except for one thing: That was his name once he turned heel. The problem is that the heel turn was that the heel turn hadn’t happened yet, completely giving away the ending of the match. Why did Capetta (ring announcer) even have that on his card? What sense does that even begin to make? Early 90s WCW is made fun of a lot, but it’s not really a secret as to why is it?

Taylor wants respect or something, also giving a good indication of the already spoiled heel turn. Robert Gibson is injured here which would eventually lead to Morton joining the York Foundation as well. Technical/feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a distinct advantage. Nice arm drags by Morton. They speed things up a bit but still no one can get an advantage.

We take a break as Taylor hits the floor to break the momentum. Back with Terry holding an armbar. Nice jawbreaker by Morton has Taylor in trouble though as they’re going back and forth rather nicely here. Dusty of course can’t stop talking long enough for Ross to talk about the match but it’s Dusty’s show so who cares? Alexandra York comes down now as we’re not sure who she’s here for. Apparently no one was listening to the intros either.

For no apparent reason we get an inset promo from York, saying that Taylor is indeed the newest member of the York Foundation and that her computer has told her how he’s going to win this. That was the gimmick of the Foundation: the computer would predict the outcome of the match, such as here where it says the time of the fall and what Taylor will win with. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

Morton gets a small package for two as Taylor turns heel and wrestles all evil and such. A bad bulldog gets two for Taylor. It amazes me that they had wireless so early in the 90s. Morton hammers away in the corner and gets a suplex for two. Dropkick puts Taylor down but a second misses and Morton hits the mat rather hard, allowing Taylor to steal the pin.

Rating: C. It’s ok and the early part is good but other than that this was kind of flat. Morton’s singles time was kind of awkward as he was definitely the better half of the team but he wasn’t someone people wanted to see without his partner. This was ok but nothing really all that special.

We get a preview of the Japanese women’s wrestling at WrestleWar. And 8 seconds is all we get of that.

We see Sting getting the Wrestler of the Year award which allegedly was totally rigged or something.

Dusty talks (naturally) about the Gulf War and praises the troops. The war had just ended or was about to end which messed up the Wrestlemania plans Vince had. How dare international politics and wars get in the way of Wrestlemania??? Didn’t Sadaam watch Superstars?

Ranger Ross vs. El Cubano

Ross is a military dude that would be gone soon after this and in prison for robbery, domestic violence, embezzlement and attempted arson by 1996. Somehow an evil masked Communist is looking like a good guy all of a sudden. Cubano is just a masked guy that is apparently Cuban. In an inset interview Ross praises the troops as well.

Apparently if you can see a guy’s face you can read their mind. This is of course according to Dusty. JR says that Ross (the wrestler that is) is a great role model for anyone of any color. Really? The color line was needed there? Cubano misses a top rope splash and Ross sends him to the floor. Ross runs to the ropes and dives over feet first in a plancha type dive. It wasn’t to hit Cubano or anything. That’s just how he left the ring. A rollup ends it maybe 8 seconds later.

Rating: N/A. The odd comments here were more interesting than the match. This went nowhere of course as it was a generic evil guy against Ross who was gone probably before the next PPV. Just a squash.

Ad for WrestleWar and Wargames.

Arn Anderson/Barry Windham vs. Renegade Warriors

The Renegade Warriors are the Youngblood brothers minus Jay who was dead by now. There are massive portraits of the Horsemen behind the ring on the wall. Yeah this isn’t going to be dominance at all. The Warriors jump the Horsemen to start and it’s a big brawl. Sweet merciful crap they look stupid though with their tights being more or less bright plaid.

Windham and one of the Warriors start this off. Arn’s eyes are flat out hilarious. When he gets freaked out you would think he was in a Three Stooges sketch with how freaked out he is. Dusty really likes to remind us that this is in color. Ok Chris is in the singlet. Arn takes him to the mat and works the knee but gets rolled up for two and Arn wants time out.

Off to Barry now and the Horsemen can’t get anything going at all here. Mark beats up Arn a bit. Oh I forgot: the Warriors are Mark and Chris. That might help a bit. Arn gets a spinebuster out of nowhere and the writing is on the wall now. Off to Barry who gets a kind of jumping DDT for two. Dusty rambles about putting your wife in a front facelock and something about a shotgun as Arn and Chris ram heads.

Atomic drop takes care of Chris but they botch Arn’s pump splash out of the corner as he never hits it but he more or less did here since Chris didn’t roll out of the way and barely got a knee up. Mark back in and it’s a big brawl all over again. He gets sent to the floor though and the Horsemen just destroy Chris with a lariat and the superplex for the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Just a long match that wasn’t interesting or anything as we needed seven and a half minutes somehow to show that the Horsemen are awesome over a glorified jobbing tag team. Nothing that terrible but it still wasn’t all that good at all. Too long as it should have been about half this long.

We get a clip of Vader vs. Stan Hansen from Japan which was a freaking war. They’ve having another match at WrestleWar. Hansen, tobacco flowing everywhere, says that it’ll be a real war between real men at the PPV.

Buddy Lee Parker vs. Brian Pillman

Parker is the guy that trained Goldberg and is widely considered to be one of the biggest jerks in the history of wrestling. In short, he was very short and according to Batista had a bad case of Napoleon Syndrome, meaning he hated being small so he tried to use his authority as head of the Power Plant to compensate for it, including telling Batista he had no future in wrestling for some reason. He was a jobber that thought he had meant something in other words.

This is really just a way to talk about WarGames which Pillman is in. He would be the ending of the match as Sid would more or less kill him with a powerbomb and they had to stop the match due to it. Crucifix gets two for Pillman. Even Parker’s basic offense looks bad. Dusty says he has a daughter named Cody. I’ll leave that one alone. Pillman gets a great plancha over the top to take down Parker on the ramp. Top rope cross body ends this squash (notice a theme going on here?) with barely a bit of sweat from Pillman.

Rating: D+. This was a squash but it was a bit longer than the other ones tonight outside of the tag match. Pillman looked great but since he’s in the main event of a PPV shouldn’t we expect that? A squash is fine but what’s the point of having a bunch of them on one show, especially a major one like this? This wasn’t much at all but Pillman’s flying was awesome stuff.

Join the WCW Fan Club!

It’s time to arm wrestle! This was part of the never ending until it ended feud between Paul E. Dangerously and various men as he was feuding with Missy here. Some country DJ is the ring announcer for this. Oh and let’s talk about the troops because that’s just what southern people do. Dangerously being billed as the Psycho Yuppie continues to crack me up.

This is one of the funniest moments in company history as Missy comes out in this big workout jacket but as she is warming up and Paul isn’t looking, Missy takes the jacket off to reveal a low cut top. Heyman’s jaw drops and Hyatt gets the easy win in like two seconds. Funny stuff.

Lawrence Taylor is chilling with the Horsemen at some bar in New Jersey, even though Flair is defending the title tonight in Georgia. This was odd and rather pointless indeed.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Ric Flair

From what I can find, both Flair and Dusty (booking here) came to Scott and flat out said the title is yours, just say the word. Steiner was absolutely awesome at this point and he really was on the verge of shattering the glass ceiling and becoming the top guy in the world. However, he turned them down because it was pretty clear that as soon as his singles push went into effect, Rick was gone. He wouldn’t win the world title for nearly ten years.

Hiro Matsuda is here from NJPW because the first Superbrawl with Fujinami vs. Flair is coming up. El Gigante is here too. Flair won’t shake his hand which resulted in a brief feud between them. Flair has been champion less than three weeks here, getting it back from Sting earlier this month. This has TV time remaining which I’d almost bet anything on that playing into the finish.

Flair shows off his biceps and Steiner is like boy please. Feeling out process to start as you would expect there to be. Steiner counters a top wristlock and Rick gets in Ric’s face as he grabs the ropes. Dusty thinks Scott would like to go into WrestleWar as World Champion. You can’t buy analysis like this people.

Flair hits the floor a bit to buy some time as Scott has been on fire so far. A little more feeling out stuff results in Scott grabbing another armbar. This is some nice technical stuff so far. Flair goes for the knee and Steiner is like oh no you didn’t and clotheslines the tar out of him so Flair hides again. Surprisingly an atomic drop breaks up Steiner’s momentum. I’m surprised his balls can feel anything with all those steroids in him.

Rick shoves Ric’s feet off the ropes when Flair tries to cheat. Is there a reason for those portraits of Anderson and Windham to still be there? Steiner powers out of a cover as we take a break. Back with Steiner throwing the Figure Four on Flair. He’s no Jay Lethal though so he can’t get the tap out. How often do you see a face in control when you come back from a break?

In an awkward looking spot, Flair charges at Steiner but Steiner falls backwards and Flair goes over the ropes. In the awkward part Steiner is supposed to go over also but didn’t have the momentum so after he was stopped he jumped into the air and went over the top. We have ten minutes of TV time left. Flair goes in for the kill on the knee and yells at Rick a lot.

Figure Four goes on and Steiner is in trouble. As we wait for the inevitable reversal, I wonder why the ring ropes were blue, black and yellow. What kind of a weird combination is that? The hold is broken via rope so Flair puts it on again in the middle of the ring. Steiner easily turns is over and we’re back on now.

Flair goes to the floor and Steiner takes him down with a Steiner Line. Down to five minutes remaining. Steiner pounds away in the corner as his leg is ok now. Nick Patrick stops Steiner from punching and Flair a shot in to take over a bit. Ross takes a breath so Dusty talks for a minute or so about how much experience he has in the ring. Under four minutes and Steiner gets a bad sleeper.

Steiner clotheslines Flair over so they alter the rules again so that’s not a DQ with three minutes left. Knee drop by Flair as Steiner is in trouble. Two minutes left and Flair is in the stall mode. Steiner gets a sweet bridge up into a Tiger Bomb but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason.

Ric is on the floor with a minute left. Steiner Line has Flair reeling with 30 seconds left. Flair Flip out of the corner and there’s not enough time. Belly to belly gets two as the bell rings for the time. The whole TV time thing is bogus as we go off the air a minute and a half after TV time expires. Ah ok we needed to show the credits. That explains it. Heaven forbid we don’t know that Ted Turner is responsible for this.

Rating: B. This was good for what it was but with more time it could have been great. Like I said this could have been a title change if Steiner had given it the ok but he decided a tag team was more important. Anyway this was good stuff and it worked rather well considering Steiner didn’t have much big match experience at all. Fun match and interesting for the most part but the ending might as well have been announced at the beginning given how obvious it was.

Overall Rating: D+. Well they tried but at the end of the day there was too much weak stuff here to make this a really good show. The main event is solid but other than that there wasn’t much here at all. Far too many squashes and uninteresting matches for the first hour and a half setting up a good main event doesn’t make a good show though. 91 was really bad for WCW down the line and this was probably the best time for them in the year until the very end of the year. Pretty bad show but the main event is solid. That’s about it.

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It’s because of the Count-Up isn’t it?

Clash of the Champions #13: Thanksgiving Thunder
Date: November 20, 1990
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.

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Clash of the Champions 12: Fall Brawl 90
Date: September 5, 1990
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Jim Ross
Attendance: 4,000

We’re kind of in No Man’s Land here with no major show to build to and none to come off of. This is in the Black Scorpion period so you know things are pretty bad. That’s the main event tonight: Sting vs. the Black Scorpion in what I’m sure will be a classic. Other than that you get a Nasty Boys match of all things. Yes the Nasty Boys in 1990. That should be shall we say, interesting? Outside of that….yeah this is going to suck. Let’s get to it.

Side note: this show winds up having a special moment for me which we’ll get to at the end.

Also keep in mind this has zero connection to the PPV series of the same name. This show is also called Mountain Madness.

Jim and Bob run down the card.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

Garvin and Hayes here. We get the music video as it feels like the 80s all over again. You old school fans know what I’m talking about. The Freebirds are faces here which makes me think we might have faces vs. faces here. The Freebirds are the Southern tag champions here which I’m not sure what are. Yep faces vs. faces. This was supposed to be a six man with Bob Armstrong and Buddy Roberts on the respective teams but Roberts has a bad arm so it’s standard.

Hayes and Smothers start us off. The Birds have face paint on which is a different thing for them. Also the ramp is really weird here as it comes to a corner rather than the traditional side of the ring. Ok maybe the Birds are heels but the crowd just likes them. That sounds far more realistic in the South. Smothers hits a nice superkick to send Garvin to the floor. And now the fans think the Birds suck. Maybe it’s just that the crowd is insane.

Armstrong (the Southern Boys are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers in case the names were confusing you. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin) hits a SWEET top rope cross body and the Birds go running. Or is it flying? Everything goes nuts so we kind of restart things with Smothers vs. Hayes again. BIG left hand by Hayes catches Armstrong as he’s on the apron.

I’ve looked around and I have no idea what those tag titles the Birds allegedly hold are. Now the Birds are being booed. Caudle thinks if Robert E. Lee had the Southern Boys during the Civil War Atlanta might have been the capital. They really would have been awesome if they had gotten the Confederacy to switch from Richmond to Atlanta for the capital. Yeah I’m that bored here: I’m making US History corrections.

The Freebirds are credited as being the first team to use rock and roll music for their entrances. Ross mentions that here and for once that’s accurate. Listen to some DVDs and see how many people take credit for being the first to do that. Gorgeous George used theme music back in the 50s but I’m pretty sure the Birds were the first to use rock music. Then again almost everyone in WCCW did that at first so it was either them or the Von Erichs. Again, not much is going on here so I have time for tangents like these. I need to do some WCCW stuff.

Armstrong comes in to clean some house and has a nice dropkick. Bob Armstrong comes in to cheat to counteract Roberts’ cheating. Yep his arm is fine of course. Everything goes nuts and Roberts throws a foreign object to Hayes but a double sunset flip gets the pin for the Southern Boys. The heels beat up Bob Armstrong (Road Dogg’s dad. Steve is his brother) after the match.

Rating: C-. Not a great match at all as it was very start and stop which is rarely a good thing. This wasn’t horrible and the fast paced stuff made it fairly good. Far too many dead spots in there though. Also the double Southern gimmick was just kind of a headscratcher. Crowd is red hot though so this was a good opener from that perspective.

Tony talks to the Steiners who just won the US Tag Titles. Rick in a pink hat works somehow. Scott fumbles through both of his lines. They’re fighting Maximum Overdrive tonight. No one has heard of them, which is probably because they’re a pair of jobbers.

Buddy Landel vs. Mike Rotunda

Rotunda would be gone to become IRS in like a day. Landel is still alive here which amazes me. Rotunda has some chick with him that won a poetry contest held by Burger King. Very different time obviously. Technical stuff to start with nothing really all that special about it thus far. Somewhat botched hip toss by Rotunda and we have a standoff.

Rotunda’s tights have an anchor on them for some reason. A second hip toss works a bit better this time as Landel actually jumps. We somehow slow it down even more here which I didn’t think was possible. They slug it out a bit which is definitely the best part of this so far. But enough of that as we hit the mat again. Rotunda gets up and hooks a freaking backslide to get the pin. Wow that’s not something you see everyday.

Rating: D. Just boring filler here as neither guy meant anything at all. Rotunda turned heel soon after this but was in WWF less than 6 months later. This went nowhere at all and was just about five minutes of wrestling to fill in that much time. Landel was pretty worthless here and was gone soon also.

The Freebirds say they’re awesome and are rather ticked off about life in general. Oh apparently they want the Southern Boys again. We get a video of them in Hollywood as they were supposed to be a big time rock band. Fans mob them and that’s that.

Tim Horner/Brad Armstrong vs. Master Blasters

Brad Armstrong is a very underrated wrestler that oddly enough would hook up with the Freebirds as a masked man soon after this. The Master Blasters are a debuting team of giants, one of which has a huge mowhawk which he would soon shave and replace with black hair. When this team died off he would be repackaged as Vinnie Vegas but then he would get released to go to WWF and become a guy named Diesel, who would eventually become known by his real name: Kevin Nash.

It’s weird seeing Nash look all ripped. Armstrong is called the Candy Man here. Any guesses as to what we’re going to see here? Nash, a power guy named Steel, uses a wristlock. Iron, the dude that did nothing other than be a part of this team, is really bad. You can tell Nash is really green here. Iron misses a falling headbutt so badly the fans loudly boo it. When you can see it that clearly without a video screen that’s a bad sign.

Nash hits a decent powerslam on Armstrong to take him down. His eyes are FREAKY as they’re wide open and very white. Nash works the majority of the match as he’s the one that sucks less here. This Iron guy is horrible. He falls down before a dropkick hits him and can’t take a backdrop properly. Horner comes in and gets about 20 seconds of offense in before Nash crushes him. Double shoulderblock ends Armstrong clean.

Rating: D. Just a squash but Iron was HORRIBLE. Nash wasn’t very good yet but he was passable at least. Horner was a jobber for the most part but was decent enough. Armstrong was a good worker but he was a jobber here so you couldn’t see much of that. This was fine for what it was but nothing special at all.

Brian Pillman is going to start a new contest called the gauntlet. Back in the day there was an NWA show on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. You would have a match on each show and if you won all three you won $15,000. If you lost the three guys split the money. Kind of a pointless concept but it lasted for awhile. Nothing special though.

Missy Hyatt brings out the “greatest world champion of ever”, Ric Flair. He has a US Title match vs. Luger tonight and is rather over since this is definitely Flair country. Nothing is said here at all.

Jackie Fulton/Terry Taylor vs. Nasty Boys

Fulton is the brother of Bobby Fulton of the Fantastics and did some stuff in Japan. This ends his career highlights. Everyone else I’d think you know. Knobbs and Fulton start us off. This is the debut for the Nasties and of course they would be gone in a few months. Knobbs was in the final three of the 91 Rumble so the couldn’t have been in WCW long after this.

Fulton takes them both down very quickly as the Nasties can’t get much going. Caudle tries to say that Jackie is one of the Fantastics which is incorrect but whatever. Taylor sends Sags into the post as the first time team is winning here surprisingly enough. You would think the Nasties were the jobbers here. Taylor is the key to the match here. Why he’s the key is never explained but apparently he’s the key.

The Nasties take over with the highest extent of their wrestling abilities. Taylor gets a sunset flip for two as Knobbs punches the mat by mistake. Heel miscommunication lets Fulton get the tag. He goes up but Knobbs catches him in a nice powerslam, allowing Sags to hit a top rope elbow to end it.

Rating: C. I can’t believe I’m saying this but the Nasty Boys had an entertaining match. This was kind of an odd debut here but the Nasties looked good near the end. Hardly a great match but I thought it was entertaining enough for about 7 minutes. Power vs. speed is hard to screw up even for the Nasty Boys.

Sid Vicious is here and wants to yell at Sting. Sid was a Horsemen here and wants the title, which are grounds for throwing him out. Just ask Sting if nothing else.

Bill Irwin vs. Tommy Rich

Irwin was the Goon in WWF and something close to a big star in WCCW but is a generic cowboy here. Tommy Rich is the most forgotten world champion ever and we start off fast. Rich hits a dropkick to send Irwin to the floor which Ross ensures us is NOT a DQ because his feet hit the mat first. That makes such little sense I’m not even going to try to make a joke out of it so whatever. We talk about the military for no apparent reason other than Rich is wearing a Confederate style of tights.

Rich hits a jumping headlock takeover which looked like he wanted Irwin to carry him over the threshold or something. Lot of headlocks here. Irwin stomps the same way Lance Storm does with that little hop in his kicks. Rich gets a pretty nice counter to a side slam into a sleeper. Charge misses for Irwin and a Thesz Press gets the pin. As surprising as this may be that is supposed to be a pinning combination. I’m not sure how one move can be a combination but you get the point.

Rating: D+. Far too short to mean much and the headlocks were rather repetitive but they were working rather quickly out there. Rich would join the York Foundation in a rather pointless stable but it had some success. Other than that neither guy meant anything until Rich went to ECW and did some forgettable stuff.

We get the WCW Top Ten.

World Champion: Sting

10. Buddy Landel
9. Tommy Rich
8. Junkyard Dog
7. Flyin Brian
6. Stan Hansen
5. Sid Vicious
4. Barry Windham
3. Arn Anderson
2. Ric Flair
1. Lex Luger

Tag Teams:

World Champions: Doom

10. Rotundo/Horner
9. Junkyard Dog/El Gigante
8. Flyin Bryan/Z-Man
7. Samoan Swat Team
6. Freebirds
5. Southern Boys
4. Midnight Express
3. Horsemen (no members listed)
2. Rock N Roll Express
1. Steiner Brothers

Took a minute to list off and that’s all there is to it. I never got the point of these things.

Stan Hansen is mad that he’s number 6 so he’s going to fight everyone above him.

LPWA World Title: Bambi vs. Susan Sexton

So back in the 80s and early 90s there were a fair amount of women’s wrestling companies. None of them were very good and they had a lot of the same rosters. This is another example of one where they try to get their product on national TV. Susan is champion here but it doesn’t really matter all that much as this won’t be mentioned again. Both are in the old school one piece swimsuit-looking outfits.

Sexton works on the knee early as she’s fairly decent from a technical standpoint. This is all technical stuff which isn’t that interesting but is pretty decent from the standpoint of technique. Sexton does the first move that isn’t technical with a reverse cross body. Boring match so far. Small package by Bambi gets two and is reversed for the pin by Sexton.

Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty pointless. The problem with these companies was that there was absolutely nothing separating these girls once they got in the ring. Today you have companies like SHIMMER where the girls are all distinctly different. These girls had different names and gimmicks but inside the ring they were the same thing, making the company pointless. Pretty worthless match but not terrible.

Maximum Overdrive vs. Steiner Brothers

Overdrive is an unknown team and the Steiners just won the US Tag Titles and are more or less considered the only team in the world capable of touching Doom at this point. What do you think is going to happen here? Scott and one of the jobbers start us off. Scott gets a Sharpshooter without the legs being intertwined. The jobbers names are Hunter and Silencer.

There’s a reason I’ve never heard of them. In the words of Steve Austin, it’s because they absolutely suck. Surprisingly enough Rick seems to be the more popular one here. I know I’m not saying much here but this is just killing time before we get to the end. And there it is as Scott ENDS Hunter with the DDT from the top.

Rating: D-. Again I say so? No one thought there was any kind of chance for the no names here and that’s exactly what the case was. Why should anyone have wanted to see a six minute squash, especially when the other team was awful? They were a jobbing tag team and this was their career highlight. Can we go to something else now?

Missy plugs the Main Event and I want to hit her.

Stan Hansen vs. Z-Man

Hmm what do you think is going to happen here? Z-Man wears pink in this, apparently just wanting Hansen to murder him faster. We’re already on the floor and Hansen pops him with a chair. Hansen is kind of a cross between Austin and JBL when he was a bar fighter. He had a match at a WWF/Japanese (might have been AJPW but I’m not sure) with Hogan and he nearly KILLED Fink. In case you didn’t guess Z-Man has gotten a total of one kick in throughout the match here. He gets some jobber offense in the form of dropkicks until a Lariat ends him.

Rating: N/A. Just to show that Hansen is awesome and giving him a reason to be in the building. Keep that in mind.

We recap Luger vs. Flair at Wrestlewar 90 where Luger STILL couldn’t get the title off of him. He’s been US Champion for over a year now so everyone is just waiting on him to lose it. Luger is second only to Sting in popularity but Flair is his Kryptonite. Luger says he’s not used to being the champion vs. Flair which is true as I don’t think Flair has ever challenged him for anything before.

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

I love that black and white Flair robe. It has to be his best one, including the blue one. Since we’re in North Carolina, Flair is more or less the second coming. There’s no feeling out period here since both of them have fought about a million times. Speaking of a million times, Flair broke his back in a plane crash 20 years ago. Flair chops Luger and Luger Hulks Up.

Luger’s offense is limited at best but the fans freaking love him so it’s easy to see why he was pushed the way he was. Flair’s shoulder might be hurt. To the shock of no one that pays attention he’s faking and a cheap shot gives him the advantage. Ross messes up when he talks about Flair’s past, saying he played football and weighed 265lbs, 25lbs lighter than he is now, putting Luger at 290 here.

Basically Flair wants this to get his shot at Sting again. And there goes the knee as Flair gets a solid shot in on it. Flair chops away in the corner then kicks Luger in the knee and repeats the sequence a few times. Nice. Luger comes back again and we get a Flair Flop, but as he goes down Flair pokes him in the eye. That is what you call thinking while wrestling. We hit the fifteen minute mark (more like 10) and Luger gets two on a backslide. We already had one fall off of that move this century so there was no way that was happening.

Flair goes flying off the top as the crowd is way into this. We get the corner flip and clothesline on the apron as Flair is reeling. Another gorilla press and powerslam set up the Rack. It’s a bearhug first which makes sense for once here. Second rope suplex gets two as Flair gets his foot on the ropes. You can hear the crowd groan as they thought it was over. Flair hits a cross body to send them both to the floor. Luger gets back in and gets MAULED by Stan Hansen. This set up their match at Halloween Havoc where Hansen ended the longest US Title reign ever. Luger would get it back about 7 weeks later and hot it seven more months, giving him the title for two years minus 50 days. That’s not bad.

Rating: B. Rather good match here as these two just have insanely good chemistry together. Other than Sting Flair brought out the best in Luger and this was no exception. It’s a natural face vs. a natural heel which is the easiest formula in the world to work and these two did it as well as anyone. Luger chased Flair for years and I don’t think ever beat him for a title.

The Black Scorpion wants Sting. If Sting wins he’ll tell Sting who he is. Sting says he’s ready.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Black Scorpion

Scorpion has to be very careful here because he can’t let any of his trademark moves come out here so as to preserve his identity. Sting is so popular it’s unreal. This is actually the NWA and WCW Titles at once but they’re the same thing so it doesn’t really matter. Scorpion is in a hood and a mask so he’s doubling up here. Scorpion beats up Sting to start here but something tells me that’s not going to last long.

The announcers try to figure out who is under the mask as it’s been established that Scorpion is someone from Sting’s past. We hit the floor and it’s more or less even. Back in the ring and Sting takes over. He goes for the mask but the Scorpion gets out. There’s a section of about 20 empty chairs about seven to nine rows deep. Those would be excellent seats as they’re about eye level with the ring. I don’t remember them being empty earlier so they must have left or something.

They brawl on the ramp for a bit and Sting takes over. Top rope cross body gets two and Scorpion keeps the advantage. We take a shot at WWF by saying anyone can have a belt made and say they’re a champion but only this title dates back to 1905. That’s nonsense but since when has truth meant anything in wrestling? In something I hardly ever remember, Sting gets the pin off the Splash and not the Deathlock.

Rating: D+. Pretty much a standard match here which obviously was to further the angle which was blown off as Starrcade where the Scorpion was revealed to be of course Ric Flair. This Scorpion was a former midcarder named Al Perez whose name shouldn’t really mean anything to you. The match was more or less just a power vs. power match and I don’t think anyone believed Sting was in anything resembling danger.

Post match Sting goes for the mask and gets it off, revealing a red mask underneath. He goes for that one but ANOTHER Black Scorpion shows up on the ramp. Instead of, oh I don’t know, RUNNING EIGHT FEET TO GET AT THE BLACK SCORPION, Sting stares at him and lets him walk away.

Sting says he’s confused to end the show.

On a semi-related note, the Black Scorpion standing on the ramp and staring down Sting is my very first memory of wrestling ever.

Overall Rating: D+. Pretty weak show but the Luger vs. Flair match is good and the main event has the most popular guy in the world not named Hulk Hogan so it revived the crowd. The problem is this is a two hour show and about an hour of it is just painfully boring. WCW was in a weird spot here as there wasn’t really much of anything for Sting to do and with Flair leaving in about 9 months things would just get worse. It would take a combination of Rick Rude and Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman) to breathe life into the company in about 13 months. This wasn’t much at all but the last half hour was ok. Not worth seeing though.

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Clash of the Champions 11: Coastal Crush
Date: June 13, 1990
Location: McAlister Field House, Charleston, South, Carolina
Attendance: 4,100
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is right before the Great American Bash which is where Sting grabbed thr brass ring and got his first world title. The main event is Junkyard Dog vs. Flair and I have no idea why. Anyway, this is mainly a nothing show, but we also get some Steiners vs. Doom awesomeness so I can’t complain there. Let’s get to it.

The Southern Boys say they’re ready for the Freebirds.

The Birds respond by singing their own theme music.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

This is the Southern Boys’ (Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers) national debut. The Birds jump them which doesn’t work out all that well for them. Smothers and Garvin officially start us off. Smothers gets beaten down in the corner but breaks through and draws the Birds in for Steve to hit a top rope cross body to take them both out. Things settle down a bit and Garvin takes over on Armstrong.

Back to Hayes who works over the arm. This is a pretty basic match so far but nothing has been all that bad. Elbow gets two for Hayes and it’s back to the arm. The arena they’re in is on the campus on the Citadel whose coach won some award the day of this show so it’s nice timing. In other words, there’s not much to talk about here so I’m repeating what JR says. Armstrong finally breaks through to make a tag to Smothers and he cleans house. Everything breaks down and Garvin covers Smothers but Steve comes off the top with a flying headbutt and puts Tracy on top for the big upset.

Rating: C+. Great example here of what you do to start a show. They had a fast paced match with a hot ending and that’s all you need to do to start a show. I enjoyed it, even though there wasn’t much to it. That being said, at times that’s all you need to do and it was a very fine opener.

Tommy Rich vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow looks strange sleeveless. Rich hammers away to start but runs into the size and power game. Tommy, who used to be world champion while Bigelow never war, works on the arm and gets a rollup for one. Bam Bam just goes off, tossing Rich all over the place and then choking past five for the DQ. Bigelow wasn’t in WCW long if I remember right.

Rating: D-. This was pretty much nothing but a way for Bigelow to look dominant. I don’t remember him in 1990 at all and I know he wasn’t on most of the PPVs later in the year at all. I’ve checked and this and Capital Combat were the only two major shows he was on all year. It was an NWA/Japan thing so he went to Japan for good for a few years until he went back to the WWF in late 92.

A man is coming. His name is Vader. He’ll debut at the Bash.

This guy will be as well: El Gigante. He has an interview with Gary Michael Capetta of all people. It’s in Spanish because Gigante can’t speak much English. I speak enough Spanish to understand it but thankfully they translate it.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Mike Rotunda/Z-Man

Rotunda is Captain Mike here which is post Varsity Club for him. The Swat Team is Fatu and Samoan Savage, who is better known as Tama from the Islanders. Rotunda vs. Fatu gets us going and the Samoan is knocked to the floor. Off to Z-Man who dropkicks Fatu to the floor again. Back to Rotundo who gets a cross body for two. The Samoans cheat to take over. Oddly enough they don’t have a manager which is rare for the wild savages.

Rotunda gets caught and beaten down. By the way, changing the last letter of his name is intentional. You’ll hear it as either depending on what year it is. Nerve hold goes on and Bob Caudle says it’s like hitting a mule in the head with a 2×4. Can someone call PETA? Rotundo gets beaten down on the floor but comes back with a double clothesline to take over. Z-Man comes in and misses most of the kicks that are sold anyway. Savage hits a Vader Bomb but the faces switch (WHAT?) and Rotunda steals a small package win.

Rating: D+. I’m in awe over that ending. One: Rotunda has shorter hair. Two: He’s in black, Z-Man was in white. Three: They don’t look alike. Four: FATU LOOKED STRAIGHT AT HIM FOR THREE SECONDS. The match was ok other than that though, and it was fine for the spot it had on here which was just a five and a half minute filler.

Video on Mean Mark.

Mean Mark vs. Brian Pillman

For those of you unfamiliar with Mark, I’ll save his reveal to the end of the match. Mark has Dangerously with him and jumps Pillman to start. He’s a big monster and that’s about the extent of his character. Oh and he’s mean. Pillman tries to use speed but Mark just kicks him down like he’s nothing. Crucifix doesn’t work at all and Mark stomps away. Off to a chinlock and Mark is so new he can’t even do that right. An elbow in the corner misses but Brian can’t get anything going. Mark knocks him to the apron but he skins the cat and hits a missile dropkick. And then they botch the ending off an Irish whip so Mark hot shots him for the pin.

Rating: D. Boring match here but it set up Mark for his US Title shot at the Bash. His finisher was the Heart Punch which is exactly what it sounds like. Mark would only appear like 5 times in the NWA before his final appearance at the Bash. He would be in the WWF in November as an unhurtable monster called Kane. That was just his first name. His occupation was an undertaker. He soon dropped the first name and just went by his job title.

US Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

The Midnights have the belts. That Midnight song is just AWESOME. Eaton vs. Gibson to get us started. These two teams probably wrestled about a thousand times so they’ll have a decent match just by muscle memory. The problem here is that they’re getting old which makes that a little bit harder. They spend a few minutes working on getting to a lockup. Off to Lane who does a little better with his kicks.

Gibson kicks him in the head to knock him back down. Off to Morton and my goodness the hair gel bills in this match could bankrupt a small country. These two are called the cream of the crop by JR and I can’t say I agree. They’re moving fast here but somehow it’s still in first gear. Nothing here is anything interesting at all. Morton finally gets a rana to speed things up but the Midnights have a meeting instead of keeping things going.

Off to Eaton but Morton escapes the corner again and grabs the arm again. The Midnights can’t get anything going here. Morton tries another armdrag but Bobby punches him down to finally give the Midnights the advantage. Morton counters a superplex in mid-air but Lane breaks up a rollup. Everything breaks down and the challengers hit stereo rollups for stereo twos.

Things slow down again and Eaton hits a suplex to Morton before bringing Lane back in. Off to Eaton quickly but he misses a charge in the corner and Gibson comes in for probably the last tag of the match for his team. Morton and Eaton go to the floor as Gibson goes after the legs. Off to a sleeper instead but Bobby breaks it up which gets two for Eaton. Everything breaks down again and the double dropkick takes Eaton down. Lane breaks the cover up….and that’s a DQ. Seriously?

Rating: C. This was one of the weakest Express Collisions I’ve seen in a very long time. Granted it probably had a lot to do with them getting later into their mainstream careers. Not much to see here but the Midnights would lose the titles soon and they would be retired before too long, which was probably the right idea.

Doug Furnas vs. Barry Windham

Furnas is billed as the World’s Strongest Man. Windham is a Horseman. Furnas runs Barry down and JR is talking about football. Sunset flip gets two for Doug and Barry bails. Furnas kind of botches a backflip off the top and doesn’t quite get Barry up for a gorilla press. Clothesline gets two. Barry gets his knee up and takes Doug’s head off with a clothesline. JR can’t stop praising Furnas to get on to the match. Powerslam gets two for Furnas. They hit the ropes for a bit and Barry grabs a belly to back and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent power match here but nothing too great. Furnas went to Japan soon after this so he didn’t mean all that much. Windham was a Horseman for a few more years but mainly did tag team stuff. He has a really forgettable career around this time actually. Not much here but it was ok.

Sid (after being told to go by the director) says he’ll take out Luger.

Lex Luger vs. Sid Vicious

Sid jumps him to start and but Lex hits a clothesline and pins him in like 20 seconds.

World Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Doom

The Steiners had been unstoppable but Doom had shocked the world and won the titles at a PPV called Capital Combat. Doom has the old Ron Simmons’ music which is still awesome. The masks are gone too. Ron vs. Scott gets us going. Scott busts out something I’ve never seen before: a floatover fallaway slam. It isn’t really falling away either as he doesn’t let go. Both Doomers take one and the ring is cleared.

A Steiner Line to the back of the head puts Simmons down and it’s off to Reed. Scott throws him around too. I can easily see why they were thinking he was the heir apparent to the world title here. You know, except for the whole Sting guy. Rick comes in now but Nick Patrick gets in the way and Ron gets in a right hand. Rick is like cool man and hits a belly to belly to send Ron flying.

Now it’s Rick’s turn to beat up Doom on his own. Reed FINALLY goes to the eyes to take over. They go back to the Doom corner and Rick fights back out of it with ease. On the floor Doom gets it together and takes Rick down via a clothesline. Simmons beats on Rick back inside and you can really tell that Doom isn’t that experienced yet. While Scott is with the referee Rick gets tossed to the floor. Reed comes in and drops a middle rope elbow for two.

Reed misses a running knee into the corner and Rick hits a double axe off the middle rope. Back to Scott and things speed way up again. Everything breaks down and Teddy throws in a foreign object. Scott takes Simmons down with a superplex but Reed clocks him with the object. Rick covers Simmons at the same time and it’s a double pin, but Scott was legal so Doom wins it.

Rating: C. These two could have good matches every time they went out there and this worked well enough. Doom would hold the titles longer than any team in the history of WCW, now losing them until February of the next year to the Freebirds who lost them to the Steiners before they won them from Doom. And yes that’s accurate.

JYD says he’ll win.

Paul Orndorff says he’ll beat Anderson.

Paul Orndorff vs. Arn Anderson

I don’t remember Orndorff around this time at all. He’s a face and Anderson is by definition a Horseman. Anderson is TV Champion but this is non-title. Slow start with Paul working on a headlock. Make that a sleeper. Now it’s a figure four. You know that’s going to get a pop in the south. After the leg is slammed into the post, Anderson hooks the spinebuster to break the momentum.

Orndorff gets a sunset flip and pulls the trunks down which thankfully is on a different camera side. Off to an abdominal stretch. Arn finally gets caught grabbing the ropes and we go to a chinlock instead. Orndorff comes back with punches and things speed up a bit. It’s still not all that interesting though. Anderson gets the knees up but Orndorff reverses a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a dull match here but I’ve never liked Orndoff’s stuff at all. Well his stuff with Hogan was good but his WCW stuff always bored me. I think it’s more that he had one incredible feud and that was about it for him. Boring match and Orndorff never got the title I don’t think.

The Horsemen say that they’ll win the main event tonight and Flair will keep the title. This was pretty rambling though.

NWA World Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Ric Flair

JYD gets a full jazz band intro. He takes Flair down with a right hand and is trying to keep this basic, which is probably smart for someone of his intellect. There the on all fours headbutt. A punch puts Flair on the ramp and we get a Flair Flop. Back in a few chops are no sold. A punch in the corner gets the same result. Now a knee drop is no sold. Ok we get it: he has a hard head.

Now they stand around for awhile because that’s been done a few times already in this match, so let’s do it again. Dog punches him again and there’s Flair Flop #2. Ole distracts the referee so Flair hits JYD in the head with a chair. Guess how much it’s sold. The answer would be NONE. Flair jumps into a punch and this is really quite bad. Flair hits a knee to the back…and then gets slammed off the top. He pounds away and the Horsemen run in for the DQ.

Rating: F+. This was just bad. I have no idea what the point in making JYD look so strong was but it didn’t really work at all. Flair didn’t get anything more than a few chops here and there and it made him look awful. This didn’t work at all and the champ looked like a joke. He would lose the title in a few weeks, but man at least make him look strong beforehand.

Sting and his boys clear the ring and Sting stalks Flair to the back.

After a break, Rocky King yells about the Horsemen. Thankfully someone intelligent sounding (Sting) talks quickly and says he wants Flair. Their title match hadn’t been announced yet. He suggests the Bash for the shot and says he’ll beg if he has to. The Horsemen come back and it winds up being Sting vs. Flair in the ring as everyone else is held back. Sting pounds on Flair as the credits roll.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show ever but I’ve seen a lot worse. The problem is that the wrestling is ok, but it’s not really interesting. You had a bunch of matches on here that ran about five minutes and that really isn’t enough to get some interest going for things. This didn’t really set up the Bash. Almost all of these people were on the PPV but their matches weren’t announced here. Not much to see but it’s nothing horrible.

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Clash of the Champions 10: Texas Shootout
Date: February 6, 1990
Location: Memorial Coliseum, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

We’re getting ready for the WrestleWar PPV and there’s one moment on this show that totally altered that PPV as well as arguably the next three and a half years of WCW as well as a legend’s career but we’ll get to that later. Also on this show….uh…..oh you get to see Foley at 24 years old against Mil Mascaras in a match he talks about in his book. Oh and Undertaker is on this show about 8 months before he became Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like a bad arcade game where you have what appear to be cardboard cutouts of wrestlers being shot in windows of a saloon. It’s going to be one of those shows isn’t it? Cornette gets two talk for two and a half hours so he couldn’t be happier.

Terry Funk has a live mic in Texas to do interviews at ringside. This cannot be good under any circumstances.

Gordon Solie is doing backstage interviews and has the Road Warriors here, about four months before they bailed to WWF. They don’t like the Skyscrapers.

Oliver Humperdink does the intro for Samoan Savage (Tama from the Islanders). He comes out to something like the Halloween theme. These interviews are very, and I mean EXACTLY like ones you would see on a SNME.

Steve Williams puts a dummy in an ambulance and says to the hospital while Bad to the Bone plays in the background. This is going to be a LONG night isn’t it?

Samoan Savage vs. Steve Williams

Oliver Humperdink is listed as the Big Kahuna here. Are you serious? Williams goes right at him in the corner and the brawl is on. The Samoan runs away which is probably the right thing for him to do at this point. Williams fires off right hands and slams that fat man. How did he used to be pretty slim just a few years prior to this? He finally drills a clothesline to take Williams down and get a breath of air.

Humperdink does some weak choking as Williams has been sent to the floor. There’s a house band for no apparent reason called the Tough Guys. Woman is here for no apparent reason again. That sounds like a running theme for tonight. Nitron, Woman’s usual muscle, isn’t here tonight for some reason that the announcers don’t know either.

Time for the chinlock to go on because we have to do that. Cornette makes Mexican jokes as he has been known to do once or twice a minute. Williams fights up with no real trouble but walks into a powerslam for two. That’s almost too interesting though so it’s back to the nerve hold. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Dr. Death but hitting him in the head doesn’t work for Savage. Back to the chinlock as Cornette thinks there should be a Samoan contingent to balance things out.

Williams is sent to the floor and Humperdink gets in a shot which stuns him a bit. So let me get this straight. A right from Humperdink can sent Williams reeling a bit but at the same time a straight downward shot by the Samoan has no effect? Why is Humperdink the manager again? Anyway a top rope splash misses for the Savage so Williams walks around with him in a slam for awhile. Williams gets a backslide of all things and we’re done.

Rating: C-. For a battle of power men there it was just ok. This would be Williams’ last match actually as he was supposed to beat Luger for the US Title at WrestleWar but something happened to change that and he left for Japan as a result. Not much of a match but it’s an opener with Tama as a competitor. What were you expecting?

The Tough Guys play for a bit for no apparent reason.

Terry Funk is here to talk to the Horsemen (faces at this point) who he says will be hard to stop in 1990. In this case it’s Flair (world champion, shocking I know), Arn, Ole and Sting. Yes that Sting. Ole gets in Funk’s face for talking too much. Well no one ever accused Ole of being all that smart. Flair says they’re going to make a statement through their spokesman Ole.

Ole, the great spokesman, has his back to the camera. This is about Sting apparently, because he’s fired. Ole and Arn have been brought back by Flair to get rid of Sting, who is in trouble for wanting the world title. Sting wasn’t taken out yet because Sting saved Flair. Ole offers him a chance to live if he turns down the title shot and has two hours to do that. Sting says not a chance so Ole says the same thing. Sting finally gets a chance to say something but it’s a classic Horsemen beatdown. This isn’t the big moment that I was referring to.

Mod Squad vs. Brian Pillman/Tom Zenk

The Mod Squad is a weak heel tag team made of Basher and Spike. Pillman and Spike (I think) start us off. He’s the skinnier one if nothing else. Pillman can throw a great dropkick. Off to Zenk and the arm work begins. Basher comes in and that goes about as well. Cornette and Ross really don’t seem all that interested in this match and I can’t say I blame them.

Brian beats on Basher for awhile and Zenk adds an enziguri for two. Double teaming doesn’t work on Zenk as Pillman gets a double slingshot clothesline to take both Mods down. Apparently the Midnight Express want to reelect Marian Berry. Ok then. Spike gets a face jam to Pillman to take over as Cornette makes jokes.

We talk about Sting and Flair some more because the match is rather boring. Double teaming by the Squad as Pillman doesn’t even have the Bengal tights here. Off to a chinlock and then another one by the other Mod dude. This match is taking far too long as there hasn’t been anything of note. Cornette disputes the idea that he loves the fans as Pillman gets an elbow to Basher but can’t tag out. Crucifix gets two for Brian but Spike misses a top rope elbow, hot tag Zenk, house is cleaned, cross body ends Basher.

Rating: D. How in the world was this a ten minute match? It should have been something like three but we had to fill in time I guess. Z-Man and Pillman would win the US Tag Titles less than a week after this so there was no way they were going to lose here. Just WAY too long for what they had going on here.

Cactus Jack Manson vs. Mil Mascaras

It’s Foley before he meant anything at all. Nice heat on his introduction though. Foley BLASTED Mascaras in his book over this match so let’s see how bad it is. Cornette says Mascaras is most popular in Japan for some reason. We get to a bow and arrow almost immediately as Mascaras makes Foley look like an idiot, which to be fair is fine because Foley is a far smaller deal at this point.

Test of strength goes to Mascaras and headscissors a go-go. Cactus gets sent to the floor and falls over a chair, landing on his back. JR: “A breakfast room at a honeymoon hotel isn’t as empty as Cactus Jack’s head.” Jack hammers away and Mascaras ignores it, hooking what can only be called a Liontamer for a bit.

Here’s a great example of the no selling complaints. As you know, one of Foley’s signature moves is the elbow off the apron. He hits a backbreaker on the floor and Mascaras never actually goes all the way to the ground. Foley sets for the elbow but there’s no Mascaras, as instead he’s snuck into the ring and dropkicks Foley to the floor where he bangs his head on the concrete. That was one of his signature moves for a long time, and people wonder why he can barely move. Anyway a top rope cross body ends this.

Rating: D. Match was weak, but I totally see Foley’s point with the no selling thing. I mean dude, shake your head a little bit after a punch at least. You’re in the midcard for a one off appearance. You’re not quite Hulk Hogan here. The backbreaker thing was pitiful too. Jack took awhile to set up the elbow which I’d guess was supposed to be the spot for the plunge, but at the same time you can’t even hit the ground? Foley isn’t the only one to complain about this, so it’s not just a personal grudge.

Missy Hyatt hypes that she’s the new co-host of the Main Event.

The Tough Guys perform and Cactus Jack beats them up. That’s a perk. He and the drummer, an AWA guy named JT Southern, get into it a bit and that went nowhere.

Norman the Lunatic, more famous as Bastian Booger, is a crazy man here. As in he was in a straightjacket most of the time. Here he wants hot dogs or something and is told it’s falls count anywhere against Kevin Sullivan.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Kevin Sullivan

Before the match we get a video of Norman at a zoo, petting pigs. In the arena he’s in a cowboy outfit and hands out valentines to the fans. This was one of those concept characters if you get the idea. Sullivan jumps him and we go to the floor almost immediately. Back at this point, companies could sponsor parts of the ring, meaning Sullivan is sent into the Roos’ post.

Norman does that seated splash of his for no cover. A middle rope splash misses though and we’re back to the floor again. Sullivan actually SLAMS Norman in an impressive and surprising spot. There goes Norman’s shirt which means we have to see something rather unpleasant. A “belly to back suplex” (looked like a Russian leg sweep) gets two. Cornette: “This Norman is so stupid that mind readers only charge him half price.”

Sullivan dominates him for a good while and there’s nothing of note. I guess they’re afraid of trying to let Sullivan work a regular match which I can’t blame them for. Back in for you guessed it, more brawling/pounding by Sullivan. Norman makes a comeback and knocks Sullivan through the ropes to the outside. Up the aisle they go and the ramps is huge. Backdrop gets two for Sullivan. Into the back and they go into the women’s restroom where sound effects are used sans video. Sullivan is knocked out of the room as Norman has a toilet seat in hand. Apparently the pin happened off camera. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. This was junk of course and the ending hurts it even worse. No word on why they were fighting but I’d assume it was some kind of bully thing as that has infected even the past. Better go found a charity to help fight it. How do those work anyway? Do you accept donations to pay bullies off? Norman would stick around for awhile and do nothing of note before he became a trucker for some reason.

Funk is here for his talk show segment known as Funk’s Grill with Luger as his guest. They like each other and Luger says Sting should turn down the shot because Luger would get the shot otherwise. The fans want Sting but Luger says you have the Total Package right now. This goes absolutely nowhere.

Road Warriors vs. Skyscrapers

Skyscrapers are Mean Mark (Undertaker) Callous and Dangerous Dan (Spivey) Spivey and have Teddy Long with them. Spivey beats on Hawk a bit but Hawk runs him over because he’s….uh Hawk I guess. Animal and Callous comes in. I’ll do what I can to not call him Taker but it’s not easy. He’s 6’9, has red hair and is 24 here. Animal no sells his offense but that’s typical for Animal.

Callous MOVES out there, missing a cross body of all things but it’s off to Spivey and Hawk again. Hawk charges but hits the post and the beating is on. We get what would become known as Old School to Hawk. It’s so weird to think that Taker and Foley were 8 years away from having one of the most brutal matches of all time. Taker counters a clothesline into a Fujiwara armbar which only lasts a few seconds.

Old School doesn’t work a second time and it’s off to Animal and Spivey. Everything breaks down and the Skyscrapers double team Animal for a bit until he backflips out of a double suplex. Hawk comes back in and it’s Doomsday Device for Spivey. Callous comes off the top with a chair and everything breaks down and it’s finally thrown out as Hawk takes a spike Piledriver. The Road Warriors get a big beatdown laid on them.

Rating: C-. For Taker being this young guy out there it’s very cool to see. Other than that it’s just a brawl which is ok but they’ve had it a few times already tonight which is a bit of an issue. Either way it’s not a terrible match but at the same time it got a bit annoying throughout. Eh it’s TV so I can’t complain that much.

Back from a break and they replay the Warriors getting beaten down.

Gordon Solie still can’t get an interview with Sting. He does have Brian Pillman though, who says Sting is losing his mind.

Doom say they’re going to win the tag titles.

Tag Titles: Doom vs. Steiner Brothers

This is masks vs. titles despite everyone knowing who Doom is. It’s Butch Reed and Ron Simmons, as in two of the three black wrestlers in the whole company. Sounds bad but it’s true. Reed rants for a bit before Simmons starts with Scott. It’s power vs. power here and the voice of Ron Simmons is unmistakable. Scott makes Simmons look like an idiot and it’s off to Reed (Doom #2).

Doom is sent to the floor as this is all Scott so far. Scott wants the mask already but Reed gets out just in case. The fans chant for Sting as Rick comes in. The basic idea of this match is Doom gets mad, a Steiner runs them around the ring a bit, suplex takes the Doom guy down, start over. Back off to the far bigger Simmons who pounds Scotty down a bit. Scott plays Ricky Morton for a bit as the beating is on.

People didn’t go for as many covers back in the day. Very interesting change in the times indeed. BIG spinebuster gets two for Reed but he picks him up. Scott grabs a backslide for two and a Piledriver gets the same. Sunset flip gets two on Reed but Scott can’t make the tag. There’s a Frankensteiner out of nowhere and it’s off to Rick. He manages to rip the mask off and it’s Butch Reed. Rick rolls up Reed a second later to end it.

Rating: D+. Yeah amazingly enough, this was boring. This whole show has been that way because the matches have been going far longer than they should have. The masks were pretty pointless here so it’s not like the titles were ever in any real jeopardy. Weak match in a running theme for tonight.

Apparently if Simmons doesn’t unmask he’s suspended. If his identity is supposed to be a secret, how could they suspend him? Either way he unmasks and Ross’ reaction of “It’s Ron Simmons” is almost funny it’s so anti-climactic.

We see Sting getting destroyed again.

The Horsemen are like yeah we’re awesome.

Ric Flair/Ole Anderson/Arn Anderson vs. Dragonmaster/Great Muta/Buzz Sawyer

The ones you haven’t heard of other than Muta is called the J-Tex Corporation and had been feuding with the Horsemen. They’re heel now though so this is heel vs. heel in a cage. Dragonmaster is a guy that was known as Kendo Nagasaki who you’ll hear of every once in awhile. There are more than one of him though so it might be a bit confusing.

Sawyer (that guy was NUTS) stars with Anderson. The fans are cheering for J-Tex, which would be like cheering for Vickie Guerrero today. The Horsemen hammer on Sawyer with Flair and he exchanging shots. Off to Ole as Cornette rants about Sting a lot. Dragonmaster hammers away and is cheered loudly. Muta comes in and the place pops HARD. He and Arn go at it and it’s handspring elbow time. And here’s Sting.

Sting charges the cage and the roof is blown off the place. He climbs up the side of it and hammers on Flair over the cage wall but is dragged down by security and other wrestlers. He gets up the aisle but charges again, this time not being able to get at Flair. Sting hops down as the match is more or less forgotten about. Sawyer misses a splash off the top of the cage and Sting appears to have hurt his leg. What wasn’t known at the time is that Sting had ripped some ligaments apart and wouldn’t wrestle for six months, meaning the title match was off. As for the match, everything breaks down and Arn pins Dragonmaster with a DDT.

Rating: D. Match sucked but it wasn’t the point at all. As I’d assume you figured out, Sting’s injury was the big deal here, as it completely changed the company and took all of the heat away from him because it was Luger that got the title shot and Flair held the title another six months instead of giving it to the young lion known as Sting. Either way, weak match to end a bad show.

Flair and Sting “fight” (remember Sting has one leg) in the aisle to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Well Sting vs. Flair is made, but at the same time that match fell apart completely due to Flair’s egging him on for the second time there. Anyway, not a good show in the slightest but at the same time….yeah this was terrible. There’s no other way around it. The matches went on WAY too long and at the same time they weren’t that good. Weak show to put it mildly and I’m glad it’s over.

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Clash of the Champions #8: Fall Brawl 1989
Date: September 12, 1989
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

We’re in 89 here and since it’s anywhere between late summer and early winter, it’s Fall Brawl. This has nothing to do with the regular PPV because there were about 5 other shows with that name. Anyway, the main event here is supposed to be Flair/Sting vs. Funk/Muta. Funk is hurt via Flair though so it’s…Dick Slater? This is one of those transitional periods for WCW but Funk vs. Flair was the main feud so let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Great American Bash where Funk and Muta destroyed Flair until Sting made the save.

The word on the street is that Gary Hart has something planned. Here’s Gary Hart who says there are no problems in his camp.

Road Warriors vs. Samoan Swat Team

The Samoans come out to the Halloween theme song. Dangerously is managing the Samoans. The Samoans are Fatu and Samu, more famous as the Headshrinkers. Samu hits the floor to hide but Animal throws him right back in. Hawk gets sent to the floor and takes a powerslam for two back in. Bearhug eats up some time and there’s the unseen tag. A very modified version of the Demolition Decapitator gets two. Fatu comes off the top and jumps into a boot (you know the spot I’m talking about) and Animal is tagged to clean house. Everything breaks down, Heyman’s phone hits a Samoan and the Device ends Fatu.

Rating: C. Man the crowd was excited for this. It was a power match and a pretty quick one at that but sometimes that’s all you need to have. Decent enough match though and at times that works best. The Warriors were just about to jump over to the WWF but they were still as popular as anyone.

The Samoans yell at Heyman and fire him post match. He wouldn’t manage again until the summer.

Cuban Assassin vs. Z-Man

There were a lot of assassins in wrestling. This is Z-Man’s debut. For once this isn’t Jack Victory under a mask but rather just a guy from Cuba. Off to a quick armbar as Z-Man controls early. Zenk channels his inner Jericho and uses about a dozen armdrags and armbars. Of all things a sleeper ends this.

Rating: D-. This was one of the weakest debuts I’ve seen for a face in a long time. Z-Man was really boring here and the ending didn’t prove anything. He’s a cruiserweight style guy so he uses a bunch of arm holds and then a sleeper for the end? Seriously? I’m thinking it wasn’t exactly the WWF screwing him over that got him out of there. He has some crazy ideas about it or whatever, but it could very well be that he’s REALLY dull.

Here’s The World According To Theodore R. Long. He’s in a recording studio and plays it kind of like a radio show. It’s really stupid and it’s basically just a rundown of upcoming house shows.

It’s Ric Flair Day in South Carolina. The governor gives him a plaque. Ok then.

Ranger Ross vs. Sid Vicious

Sid is just SCARY over. He hits Ranger in the head and they go to the floor. Ross gets in a few strikes but the move we would call The Eye of the Storm and a powerbomb end this quick.

Now we get a vignette of Robin Green (Nancy Sullivan/Benoit/Woman, the innocent manager of Rick Steiner) and Missy Hyatt get a limo to go shopping. I have no idea what the point of this is. You also can’t hear a word they’re saying because the car is so loud. This is like a high school show in the late 80s. Now they go jewelery shopping. I think this is supposed to be Robin being all out of character.

The Freebirds say they’re awesome.

World Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Steiner Brothers

The Birds are champions and this is the Steiners’ first shot at the titles. Scott is a totally different guy here, to the point where he was a nod of the head away from being handed the world title and being made the focus of all of WCW in about 1991. Flair flat out said you say the time I’ll lay down for you. Think about that for a minute. Then he destroyed his arm and didn’t get the title for 9 years. That’s wrestling for you.

Missy and Robin are here with the brothers. Scott is in regular trunks here so you can tell he’s brand new. Scott vs. Hayes starts us off. Hayes stalls a lot and then stalls a lot more. Scott speeds things up but runs into the left hand which is one of Hayes’ big moves. A top rope cross body by Hayes is rolled through for two and Scott cleans house. Garvin comes in and Scott runs over him too. A SWEET reverse German hits and here’s a tag to Rick. Scott looked like Kurt Angle out there.

Rick knocks both of the Birds to the floor and gets on all fours. Hayes comes in next and dances a lot, just ticking Rick off even more. There’s a powerslam and one for Garvin as he tries a sneak attack. Hayes gets in a few punches so Rick just mauls him and hits a release belly to belly. Rick then misses one of the hardest charges ever into the corner. Garvin comes in with his DDT finisher but Scott makes the save.

Back to Hayes who sends him out to the floor for more of a beating. Rick gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting for Scott to come in and start breaking stuff. Garvin comes back in and hits a running knee to the head for two. Time for a chinlock but Rick snapmares out of it. Why don’t more people use that as a counter?

There’s the tag to Scott (thanks for telling me JR. No seriously, the camera cut to the crowd so we didn’t see if he made it or not) and it’s Frankensteiners (and I mean standing ones, not ones out of the corner) and a BIG powerslam for Hayes. Scott hits the ropes but someone (presumably one of the girls but we intentionally can’t see which) trips him and a quick DDT keeps the titles on the Birds.

Rating: B-. If you’ve EVER been unclear about why people rave and rave some more about Scott Steiner, go find this match right now, keeping in mind that he’s 24 here and had been on national TV as a wrestler for about 3 months. This was one of the most impressive performances I’ve seen in a LONG time. By the way, it was Robin that tripped Scott. She turned heel and debuted Doom soon thereafter, presumably because she wanted to get gangbanged by Ron Simmons and Butch Reed. The Steiners got the titles in November.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Brian Pillman

Norman is more famous as Bastian Booger. He’s just what his name says here: a lunatic from the state hospital. Pillman is young, undefeated, and AWESOME at this point. He comes out with the University of South Carolina Cheerleaders and goes off, hitting all kinds of high flying moves which Norman can’t even begin to keep up with. After a springboard clothesline and a dive to the floor, Brian goes for Norman’s key (he brought it with him and freaked whenever anyone touched it) but it goes nowhere.

Middle rope splash gets two for Norman. Out to the floor and Norman splashes him against the post. A second one misses though and a missile dropkick puts Norman down and PILLMAN SLAMS HIM!!! AND A BACKDROP!!! A middle rope cross body is countered into a powerslam for two. Holy crap this is AWESOME. Out of nowhere Pillman grabs a crucifix for the kind of upset pin.

Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? I know I said Pillman was awesome but I didn’t expect that. Pillman was flying all over the place and pulling off stuff that would make Rey Mysterio jealous in 1996. This was incredible and as you can see, Bill Watts was an idiot for wanting to ban this kind of stuff because….why did he want to do that anyway?

Gary Hart insists Terry Funk is here when everyone else says he isn’t.

Mike Rotundo vs. Steve Williams

This is pretty much the very final blowoff of the entire Varsity Club. Williams is freshly face again and gets caught coming in but he’s like “Boy I’m Steve Williams” and clotheslines Williams down then does the still scary gorilla press reps on the slam. Back to the floor where Rotundo hammers away and the fans are all over Rotundo as he hooks an abdominal stretch. Rotundo keeps knocking him down and hooks a chinlock. Even in that Williams won’t stop moving.

Back up and Rotundo puts his feet on the ropes to cheat but Williams won’t go down. A jawebreaker finally gets Steve out of the hold but an elbow misses. The idea here is that Rotundo knows if Williams gets any kind of momentum going then Rotundo is going to die so he has to keep moving every chance he can. A pair of thumbs to the eye slows Williams down and Rotundo goes up. Williams slams him off after getting a RUNNING START.

I’ve told you this before but this guy was the Brock Lesnar of his day. Just SCARY strong and a legit amateur wrestler. Williams misses a charge but Rotundo accidentally dives over the top. Back in the Stampede is countered but Williams holds on and takes him to the mat in kind of a rollup for the surprise pin. The count was cool looking as the referee dove and counted at the same time, sliding on each count.

Rating: B-. Another fun match. This show has rocked so far and Williams just blew away Rotundo here. The idea here was that they never stopped moving out there. Even the rest holds had something going on like using ropes for leverage and Doc (Williams’ nickname was Dr. Death and JR often called him Doc) kept fighting to get out of them. That’s the difference between working and being boring: you can take almost anything in a match and make it more entertaining but you NEVER see that today, which is a shame.

Lex says he’s awesome.

US Title: Tommy Rich vs. Lex Luger

Lex is champion but Rich is an old NWA superhero so he’s very popular here. Lex is a total heel but he was so awesome at this point that you couldn’t help but cheer for him, meaning he gets a bigger pop than Rich here. We hear about how great Rich used to be and JR manages to get cowboy boots into the analysis somehow. Not much to start but Luger uses his power to keep control. He’s a heel but keeps getting cheered.

Rich gets in a right hand and grabs an armbar which gets him nowhere. Cross body gets two and it’s back to the arm. Lex avoids a dropkick and powerslams him for two. He works on the back a bit but Rich hooks a sunset flip for two and Luger goes outside. Back in Lex works on the back some more but the Rack is countered. Superplex gets two. Lex goes up (???) and misses a top rope splash.

Rich starts his comeback and pounds away, hitting a middle rope punch for two. Thesz Press gets the same due to Lex putting his foot on the ropes. In some trivia for you, that’s what he won his world title with. Rich misses a punch and hits the post, only to grab a sleeper while Lex is on the apron. Luger hits a hangman on the top rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Decent match here but not quite as energetic as the previous two matches. Rich is a guy that I think you have to watch a lot of to get the appeal of. Not a great match or anything but more competitive than you would think. That being said, Rich was pure Memphis and that style doesn’t work well with Luger’s power game.

Gary Hart has some more to say. He’s going to let the nation know about something. Hart has a letter from a doctor and there’s a tape from Funk in a hospital bed with a bad arm. Funk talks about how he almost lost his arm and no matter what he’ll be at the Clash tonight.

Sting and Flair (in the classic black robe) say bring it on Funk.

Great Muta/Dick Slater vs. Sting/Ric Flair

Muta is TV Champion here and I think undefeated. He and Sting start which should be awesome. This was one of the hottest feuds of 89 and definitely one of the best. They speed things way up to start and Sting knocks him to the floor very quickly. Back in and they fight over a headlock but Sting grabs an armdrag and works a wristlock. The crowd is WAY into this.

Flair comes in and the fans wake up even more. This is the first time he’s ever been in the ring with Muta. Muta takes a bunch of chops and punches so he collapses into the corner to bring in Slater. Flair beats him up too until Slater sends him into the corner and over the top. Flair runs the apron, hits a running chop to Muta, goes up and hits a top rope elbow to take out Slater.

Dirty Dick (worst nickname ever) kicks Flair to the floor and Muta dives on him. Everyone heads to the floor and it all breaks down. The good guys rule the ring and Hart, the manager, calls a conference. Slater has a cast on his forearm/wrist. Naturally Flair and Sting work it over. This is still the smart Flair, as in the one before Hogan made him an idiot. Sting grabs an armbar and so does Flair. They’re tagging very fast.

Slater comes in and is immediately suplexed for two. Back to Muta quickly and the dominance continues. Muta does the classic heel move of raking the eyes and hits the Handspring Elbow to keep Flair in trouble. Slater comes in and pounds away before sending Flair to the floor. Muta back in now and he hits that snap elbow. A nerve hold is broken and it’s off to Sting. This has been good so far.

Stinger Splash to Muta but Gary Hart comes in to hit Sting in the back of the head with a roll of coins to break up the Deathlock. That only gets two and now both the fans and JR are really getting into this. A powerbomb by Muta gets two. They go to the floor and Flair makes a running save. Back in Slater puts on a sleeper but Sting breaks it up with a jawbreaker and both guys are down.

There’s the hot tag to Flair and he does his best Fifi imitation to clean house. Everything breaks down and Muta gets dropkicked to the floor. Sting goes to pull him back in but takes mist in the face. Oh and it’s yellow too! Slater hits Flair with the cast to bust him open. Down goes the referee and here’s Terry Funk with a plastic bag to TRY TO SUFFOCATE FLAIR. TAKE THAT PG ERA!!! It’s all thrown out of course.

Rating: B+. Pretty awesome tag match here and it plays up to the feud that was going on with Funk vs. Flair, setting up an I Quit match at a future Clash. Slater didn’t really mean much in this as they shifted it back to Muta soon here. Very good tag match here that really needed a finish but still great.

Sting takes a branding iron to the knee. Flair apparently got mouth to mouth by Pillman to wake him up. I’m sure he’s glad that wasn’t on camera. Flair gets medical attention to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. THIS is how you do a TV show. Other than the Z-Man match which is less than four minutes long, there isn’t a bad match on here and you get two or three very good ones, plus a total star making performance by Scott Steiner. Couple that with a great main event that moves the feuds forward and this is one of the best Clashes I’ve ever seen. Find a copy of it because it’s worth seeing.

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Clash of the Champions 7: Guts and Glory
Date: June 14, 1989
Location: Ritz-Epps Fitness Center, Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

Oh where to begin here. First off (here I guess), this is being held at an army base so the entire crowd is comprised of soldiers. In other words, they are completely and utterly insane. It’s Flag Day and the day that the army was first founded so expect a BIG military theme for this one. This is the build up show for Bash 89, widely considered to be the best WCW/NWA show ever.

Tonight is also the final three matches in the world tag team title tournament. The only other thing of note here is the biggest appearance ever of one of the most hated, complained about and freaking dumbest concepts in the history of professional wrestling. Yep, tonight we see the Ding Dongs. Let’s get to it.

Some army dude tells us that the army is ready to fight.

Funk vs. Steamboat tonight. That sounds pretty awesome.

We don’t know who Hayes’ partner is in the tournament tonight which heavily implies to me that those are your winners.

This is a 3 hour show, making the video just over two hours long. That’s much longer than these usually were.

Some NWA Crew guy stands behind Ross and Caudle looking straight at the camera in a funny moment.

Star Spangled Banner with full military choir. That’s kind of cool.

We see some wrestlers doing some ROTC training. Any chance we could have some, like, wrestling?

We see Missy Hyatt and a more or less jobber named Ranger Ross doing a zipline thing.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dynamic Dudes are Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace as REALLY annoying surfboarders/skateboarders and no one liked them. The Freebirds beat the Road Warriors and the Dudes beat Jack Victory and Rip Morgan. Jimmy Garvin, an associate of the Freebirds for like six years, is the new partner. Terry Gordy was the original partner of Hayes but dropped out for no apparent reason. He’s fighting later so it’s not like he’s hurt.

Ah apparently Garvin is just there and they’re using the appropriately named Freebird Rule. It’s a good thing the move is named that. It would be awkward if it was named the generic tag team heel rule. Much better this way and what a coincidence too. Hayes and Johnny start us off. The Dudes work over the arm of Garvin and the crowd is red hot. Apparently it would be an upset if an established team beat a new team.

Ross talks about the tournament, the main event, Muta, and the Ding Dong. I can’t wait for that one. The level of wrestling in this match is slipping rapidly. We hear about how many soldiers there are here and how the base is like a city. Hot tag to Johnny which makes me think of the Spirit Squad. How are we only five minutes into this? That doesn’t seem possible. With Shane on the floor a Hayes DDT ends Johnny to send the Birds to the finals.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match here with the ending rarely in doubt. You don’t debut a new member of a team and have them lose to a glorified jobber team that few liked at all. This was a standard match also with nothing special at all going on in it. Nothing horrible though.

Ranger Ross vs. The Terrorist

As I read on a blog I read, what kind of military base lets a man known as THE TERRORIST come in without jumping him? Ross is a generic military character but was a legit paratrooper. The Terrorist is played by dying days of ECW manager Jack Victory. It’s a one minute squash here with Ross winning with a superkick/big boot (it looked awful). This was rather predictable but the crowd loved it so all is fine.

Video on the Road Warriors. They’re awesome don’t you know. So awesome they lost in the first round of the tournament. We get Iron Man though so all is not lost.

Muta comes out for something called a Dragon Shy demonstration. The idea is that Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert has challenged Muta to a Double Jeopardy match, which is where you flip a coin to determine which gimmick is used, in this case Dragon Shy or Coal Miner’s Glove. Gary Hart (underrated heel manager) says Muta wants real competition, not these no name guys (he says Gaijin but I don’t think a lot of readers would get that term. In short it’s not nice).

Muta had spit mist in the eyes of Missy Hyatt who was Gilbert’s girlfriend at the time. He runs down and throws fire at Muta, who is terrified of it apparently. The more famous of the two pulls a jobber in front of him and he gets burned badly. Apparently he’s hurt but hey we’ve got squashes to get to so get him out of here.

George South/Cougar Jay vs. Ding Dongs

PLEASE MAKE IT SHORT! Their music is downright whimsical though. They have bells all over their clothes (full body orange jumpsuits with masks) and a bell in the corner which they ring throughout the entire match. The Ding Dongs are in trouble here vs. generic jobber #2.

We hear about the Great American Bash Series, which is different than what you would be used to. It was actually a big tour and at least one PPV was just a best of show. By 89 this wasn’t the case but I’m not sure about earlier than that. Thesz Press gets two for one of the Ding Dongs. The worst part is that they’re not a particularly bad team. The gimmick is just so freaking stupid.

Power Hour is debuting on Friday night at 10:20. What a great time to start a wrestling show. A combination elbow drop and knee drop gets a pin on generic jobber #1 who is apparently George South. Bob Caudle immediately says “that was horrible” as I don’t think he knew his mic was on.

Rating: N/A. It’s short enough to not be able to grade and it’s just a squash anyway, but this is one of the more famous bad ideas in wrestling as they more or less left after this. Can’t say I blame them as a drunken military crowd booed this. That says a lot.

A United States Representative says thanks for doing this and gee isn’t the American Flag awesome?

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team

This would be the Headshrinkers vs. Bobby Eaton/Stan Lane for those unfamiliar. The Express are faces here which is even weirder to see. They beat Bob Orton and Butch Reed while the Swat Team beat Ron Simmons and Ranger Ross. A fan tries to run into the ring during Cornette’s introduction and is caught in one of the fastest reactions I’ve ever seen.

The Swat Team is managed by Dangerously. What kind of a name is Samoan Swat Team anyway? Paul is more or less nothing here but a guy that can talk. He looks like an idiot, even moreso than usual. Cornette swings the tennis racket at him and it’s on early. Almost all Express to start us off. The future Rikishi is in trouble early on. They finally take over on Eaton and we enter the formula.

Suplex on the floor and the Samoans clear the ring. Lane finally comes in (and by that I mean after like 2 minutes) and cleans a few rooms. Down goes the referee, in come the Road Warriors, down go the Samoans, Midnights win.

Rating: D. Total nothing match here that goes like six minutes and ends with a weak ending. Apparently the Samoans cost the Road Warriors a spot in the semi-finals. This just went nowhere at all and was done so fast that nothing could have been interesting in it at all. Bad match.

We see Funk/Flair from the previous PPV, setting up the match at the Bash. Good angle. In short, Funk wants a title shot, Flair says no, Funk half kills him, Bash match made. There you go.

Terry Gordy vs. Steve Williams

Total war to start with both guys beating the heck out of each other in this explosion of the Miracle Violence Connection. Kevin Sullivan had more or less brainwashed Williams and then Williams rebelled, resulting in Sullivan paying his old rival Gordy to take out Williams. For the second time tonight, Ross says he could use a cold Coors Light. Soon after this the turnbuckles would have sponsors, so you know what we had to deal with then.

Williams is the face here and sends Gordy to the floor for more brawling. Surprisingly it’s not a double countout as we head back into the ring for more fighting. Williams hits a decent (all things considered) crossbody for two. And so much for next month as they’re in the Coors Light Corner. Oh dear. Now they brawl up the aisle again and there’s the countout.

Rating: C-. Big physical brawl here but nothing special at all. Williams was always fun to see but this was just to set up a draw which was kind of pointless. LOUD disapproving chants from the fans so at least they know crap when they see it. Nothing horrible but this just didn’t do anything but fill in time.

Mike Justice vs. Norman the Lunatic

It’s Bastian Booger as an insane asylum patient with Teddy Long as his manager. It’s a 45 second squash and Norman wins with a splash. Nothing else to say here. Oh and hospital orderlies in white coats come out and take him away with Teddy threatening to lock him up if he doesn’t go.

We hear about the triple chance King of the Hill battle royal. It’s a two ring battle royal where there was one at every Bash show with the winners having a big one at the Bash PPV.

The Freebirds have some new rules, which they don’t specify at first. Or at all actually.

Video about Flyin Brian and his groundbreaking stuff.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is more or less the major debut for the Steiners as a team. Sullivan and Rotunda as their opponents here in a VERY long running feud. This is under Australian rules, whatever that means. The Steiners have Missy with them. Scott is in regular tights so you know this is an early appearance for him. Big brawl to start as Rick is way over.

Hey there’s another Coors Light reference and let’s thank some army dudes. Rick vs. Mike now which is the real meat of the feud. Ross says hi to all of the fans in Connecticut where they’re headed soon which might be a slight jab at WWF but nothing big. The commentary is more or less just a commercial for the upcoming tour.

Kind of a slow start here but the fans are into it and it’s nothing bad at all. You can see the superstar in Scott just waiting to get out. The Club throws Scott to the table on the floor and then throws steps at his legs and connects. He’s limping badly now which very well could be legit. Ross and Caudle are FREAKING over this which isn’t exactly overkill here. Gorgeous dropkick by Rotunda puts Scott down.

Hot tag to Rick but Sullivan had the referee. I love that trick as it’s so simple yet it works every time. Mike misses a dropkick and there’s the real hot tag. Rick just massacres both guys until Scott can get back up. Sullivan steals Caudle’s chair and slides it into Mike who hits a suplex on Scott onto the chair on Scott’s already injured back (which was played up throughout the match after landing on the table in a nice mini-story) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good with a basic formula, a nice story and a hot crowd packed together into less than 9 minutes. The Steiners would of course go on to become the most successful tag team in company history but this was more or less their first match that meant anything. Fun stuff here and a fairly good match.

Cornette (looking SKINNY) runs down the Freebirds. He was 27 here which is just weird to imagine as he always seems to be this 41 year old man that rants about everything.

Ross: Let’s hear from the Governor of North Carolina, Jim Martin. Martin: Hello, I’m Jim Martin, Governor of North Carolina. So what you’re saying is he’s Jim Martin, Governor of North Carolina? He says basic stuff.

TV Title: Sting vs. Bill Irwin

Sting is more or less the hottest thing in the world but they had no idea what they were going to do with him so they threw the TV Title on him and said go be awesome. To say it worked is an understatement as he won the world title at the Bash the next year. Luger won’t come out for commentary as he’s been teasing a heel turn lately. Irwin gives him problems for like a minute and then the Splash ends it with relative ease.

Rating: N/A. Total squash on TV for the TV Champion. What more can you really ask for?

Video on Scott “Gator” Hall. It’s Scott Hall with long curly blonde hair as he goes after alligators in a swamp to a bad 80s song. Sweet goodness that’s out of nowhere.

Ross is at Flair’s house where he’s wearing sunglasses and a neck brace. Well of course he is. This is his first interview or first televised appearance since May when he won the title and got hurt by Funk. He’s in a Lakers blazer which is odd for some reason. Flair says he’s not worried about money as he has enough money to spend in two lifetimes. That’s just comical.

He compares this injury to the plane crash as he contradicts all kinds of history as he says after the crash the doctors said he definitely would wrestle again. Nice one there Naitch. Ross asks about the thirty day title defense rule as it has been five weeks since the injury. Flair more or less says they said screw it, let’s give him another thirty days. The announcement of his future will come on July first. Flair says he’ll get Funk. More or less 6-7 minutes of nothing here.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Finals: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

Is there a reason why the music for the Birds changed from the first match? It’s now Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd which makes sense. Dangerously runs out and blasts Cornette with a tennis racket before we get started. The Express opens the racket and there’s a horseshoe and a chain inside of it. Nicely done.

Basic feeling out period to start us off as they’ve never faced each other before which is rather surprising to me given how the 80s were with the territories and people switching companies very quickly. Garvin beats on Eaton as we’re just kind of slowly building up here. The Birds clear the ring as we waste more time.

Eaton goes to the floor for the second time in a minute as I’d love for this match to like, end. He gets beaten down even more as Lane and his kicks get in for the first time in the match. He gets a DDT on Hayes out of nowhere to bring Eaton back in like an idiot after a long beatdown he just went through. Gordy sneaks in for a WEAK powerbomb to end this with the Birds winning the titles.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which didn’t get going at all. Way too much stalling and wasting time with the Express just doing nothing at all and the Birds just not being that good. This show has been ok but nothing great and this was the same way as that. Weak match.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Steamboat

Terry is ranked #10 and Steamboat #1. They lock up and go against the ropes so Patrick gets between them although he gets ridden around the ropes. They chop the HECK out of each other and it’s a standoff. SWEET dropkick that hits Funk in the jaw by Ricky. Funk goes to the floor and comes back in for a slugout which Steamboat is lost in.

Funk just punches the heck out of him and looks very evil doing it. He is just such an ugly man and played a natural heel as well as anyone I can think of. Steamboat stands on the top rope for the better part of ever before FINALLY coming off with a huge chop. Then he goes out of character to pick him up and walk nearly a lap around the ring with Funk up in a slam. I like that for some reason.

Funk takes over again as this is a very solid back and forth match. Piledriver hits Steamboat for two which is Funk’s finisher. Down goes the referee and Steamboat hits the floor again. Why does everything have to be about hitting? Funk hits a “running” Piledriver on the floor which is a nice way of saying he took a few steps backwards before hitting it. This gets two as Ross loses it.

Steamboat blocks a top rope splash (???) with knees and takes over a bit again. Gutbuster hits Funk and a top rope chop sets up an enziguri to put Funk outside. Funk grabs the mic and drills Ricky in the head for the DQ. He grabs a chair and looks like he’s about to kill Steamboat but Luger runs in for the save.

Rating: B. Solid match here between a great heel and a great face. This was very back and forth and the ending fit perfectly. Steamboat looked great and so did Funk, who was having a legit resurgence of his career at this point. Neither could win which is how it should be. I liked it and it felt like a major match.

Luger says he has no problems and then drills Steamboat, half killing him with the chair and the Rack. He says here lies your #1 contender. Luger is the second ranked guy and is jealous. Sting comes out to get rid of Luger.

After a break, we have a birthday party for the Army. Not a person in the Army, but for the Army itself. The Ft. Bragg Commander makes a very boring speech and gives WCW a trophy. Oh and the choir sings. This must have been RIVETING for the fans at home. This is your last 10 minutes of the show. They sing Happy Birthday to the Army as I want a small firearm for my head.

Ross and Caudle say nothing of note and the just replay the ending of the wrestling as the credits end us.

Overall Rating: C. Not bad here as a lot of stuff was happening and there’s some decent stuff, but a lot of this was filler as three hours was just too long. A lot of the squashes and military stuff could have been completely cut out and no one would have minded. The Norman match and the Ding Dongs match were just stupid. This wasn’t the worst show ever, but at three hours it’s just too much. Watch only if you’re really quite bored.

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