Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #6: A Very Fast One Hour Match

Clash of the Champions 6: Ragin Cajun
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Hayes

Where do I begin with this one? First and foremost, this is on the same night as Wrestlemania 5 in a final attempt to sabatoge the WWF. The problem was that this ran against Savage vs. Hogan which if my memory is right was either the highest PPV buyrate ever or the second highest. The main event from WCW (NWA but we’ll keep things simple here) is Steamboat vs. Flair II in a 2/3 falls match with Steamboat defending his newly won title. Let’s get to it.

Also, 5,300 people in the Superdome? That place holds over 75,000 for football.

We see a lot of legends at a dinner or something last night. Big names like Muchnik, Thesz, O’Connor, Funk and Funk among others. Jim Herd talks about protecting the integrity of the NWA or some jazz like that. Turner had recently bought the company I think so the NWA’s days were numbered.

Terry Funk will be replacing Hayes for commentary on the main event.

We run down the card through a long video package. Or maybe this is just an opening video in general. This goes on a bit too long.

National anthem.

Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team

Dangerously manages the Samoans here. This is his second team to beat Cornette and run him out of the NWA after the Original Midnight Express lost a loser leaves town match at Chi-Town Rumble. This version of the Samoans would become the Headshrinkers and are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi). It’s Samu vs. Lane to start us off and Samu misses a cross body. Lane’s gets two.

Off to Eaton who hits a missile dropkick and it’s back to Lane who controls. The Midnights are the faces here. Cornette pops Fatu with the tennis racket but doesn’t get caught so we keep going. Fatu comes in for a few seconds and it’s back to Samu again. We get heel miscommunication and the Samoans have a meeting on the floor. Hayes uses Monsoon’s line of saying this is a main event in any arena in the country. Except this one.

Back to Eaton vs. Samu and Eaton out moves him quickly. Samu is like screw this wrestling stuff and starts using power to take over. The Midnights tag in and out quickly. I didn’t even notice Eaton going out. The Midnights cheat but they’re good guys so they can get away with it here. Back to Eaton and this has been all Midnights so far.

The heels finally start cheating like good evil Samoans and Eaton is in trouble in the corner. Off to a chinlock/nerve hold as Eaton is taking a good beating. Fatu hits the kick to the face but it’s in the corner so it doesn’t look as good. Eaton avoids a shot and it’s hot tag to Lane. They double team the Samoans and ram their heads together which starts a fight between the Samoans.

Cornette hits a Samoan (you can’t tell them apart from behind) with the racket and Dangerously pops Lane I believe with his phone, allowing the Samoans to take over on Lane for a bit. Back to the nerve hold which eats up awhile. This is a long match as we’re approaching twenty minutes. Another Fatu superkick gets two. Lane finally avoids a middle rope headbutt and it’s a double tag to bring in Samu and Eaton.

Eaton hammers away but tries a double noggin knocker. Take a guess as to how that goes for him. Just guess. Lane gets back in and everything breaks down. Lane sends Fatu to the floor and the Rocket Launcher hits Samu. Cornette and Heyman get into it on the apron and the phone goes flying. Fatu clocks Eaton with it for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok but it wasn’t a classic or anything. The Samoans weren’t nearly as difficult to do anything as Rikishi would become but they were still something different than the Midnights were used to. Also with this being more about the managers than the teams, it became a bit harder to have heat out there. Still though, nothing bad.

Great Muta vs. Steve Casey

Casey is a jobber and Muta is one of the hottest acts in American wrestling at this point. Muta does a trance/meditation thing to start as Hayes makes fun of Oklahoma. Casey shows why he’s a jobber by charging at Muta. You deserve that mist you get you schmuck. Handspring elbow (Muta invented it) hits Casey and we hit the chinlock. Casey goes for the arm for a short arm scissors but Muta gets bored so he kicks Casey in the face.

Casey heads to the floor to clear his head but Gary Hart, Muta’s manager, rolls him back in so that Muta can hit a hard dropkick off the top. JR compares Muta to Sting which would be the feud that made Sting into a great in ring guy to go with his charisma. Muta hooks some freaky leglock and then a nerve hold. Casey tries something else so Muta hits a spin kick to kick Casey’s head off again.

Off to another nerve hold and this is starting to go too long. Casey gets what is probably the highlight of his match by hitting a clothesline to take Muta down. He hits a dropkick but Muta swats the second one away. Casey grabs his foot so Muta hits another SWEET spin kick to send Casey to the floor. A pescado and the handspring elbow on the floor continues the dominance and the Muta Moonsault (a quick one that stays low) ends this slaughter.

Rating: C+. It’s just a long squash but Muta was REALLY good back then. When he got to fight Sting for months on end, it was pure gold because Sting was actually able to keep up with Muta in the ring. As for this though, it was total dominance and Muta’s calmness throughout the match is a really great addition to his character as he knew he was better and didn’t sweat Casey at all, because he had no reason to.

Junkyard Dog vs. Butch Reed

This is an old Mid-South feud and New Orleans was a big Mid-South town so the fans are probably going to be way more into it than they should be. JYD has a band to bring him out. As in tubas and horns and such. It’s a very New Orleans style intro. Reed was in a singles push at this point and was kind of almost maybe sort of considering being put in the Horsemen to the point where he even held up four fingers at one point. That wouldn’t happen of course but he was probably the top candidate for it. He has Hiro Matsuda here though.

JYD takes over to start and Reed is on the floor quickly. Back in and Dog does his all fours headbutts to send Reed right back out. Dog hammers away some more until Reed pounds away to take over. This is almost all kicking and punches. Off to a chinlock by Reed and Dog makes his comeback. Both guys go down off a double clothesline. Reed goes up for his top rope shoulder but Dog gets his foot on the rope. Dog sends Reed into Matsuda and botches a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was so boring that it almost put me to sleep. Ok not really on the sleep thing but it was very dull. It’s your standard 80s kick and punch match which means it wasn’t interesting at all. Reed would go on to form Doom after this though while Dog would flounder for awhile before fading into obscurity.

Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch

Ross is way too excited for this match. They start on the mat with Orton firing off some fireman’s carry slams. You might almost say he’s adjusting Murdoch’s attitude. Murdoch puts on an armbar and the old school nature is very clear very quickly. Orton kips up to get out of it. Can his son do that? Dory Funk Jr. and Pat O’Connor are watching from the crowd. Murdoch has a wristlock on again and by that I mean he has it on for awhile.

Now it’s Orton with an armbar. Murdoch is the face here. I didn’t really know that either until Ross mentioned that the fans loved him. We’re still in the arm stuff here. Muchnick, Kiniski, Thesz and I believe Buddy Rogers are at ringside also. Five minutes in and the arm stuff is finally over. Orton pounds away but Murdoch is waking up in the corner. A dropkick puts Orton down and they brawl a bit more. Both try their finishers, but Murdoch has his foot tripped during the brainbuster and Gary Hart (Orton’s manager) holds the foot for the pin. Think of Mania 5 and the finish might sound familiar.

Rating: D. This was boring. The match is just under ten minutes long. 5 were spent in arm holds, 3 were spent brawling and 2 were spent on the finish. That doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Murdoch and Orton were both old at this point and it was obvious that no one was interested in seeing this match other than maybe a bit for Murdoch.

World Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

It’s Rotunda/Williams here and the Warriors have the belts. Hawk vs. Rotunda starts us off. Mike isn’t in a good mood as he lost the TV Title to Sting the day before on TV. Off to Animal who cleans house including a powerslam to Williams. Hawk comes in and doesn’t do as well. I always thought Animal was the better of the two. To prove me right, Animal comes in and runs through both of them again.

The Varsity Club (Williams I think) pulls the top rope down and Animal tumbles to the floor. Off to a bearhug but Animal manages the tag. Teddy Long (referee) doesn’t see it so Hawk has to go out. This is important because at the same time, Rotunda comes in with no tag and Long allows it. Remember that. Williams comes back in and takes the leg out from Animal as JR explains the football strategy at play there.

The beating goes on for awhile longer with Animal getting close but not being able to make the tag. You’ve seen the same thing a million times before. It’s a good thing they’re letting Animal stay in there this long as when Hawk gets tired, he gets bad in a hurry. There’s the hot tag and Hawk cleans house. Everything breaks down and Animal accidentally tosses Long. Doomsday Device hits and Teddy won’t count. Williams comes in and rolls up Hawk and Teddy dives in for the absolute fastest three count you’ll ever see for the title change. His hand didn’t go above his shoulder on any of the counts.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the ending got Teddy out of being a referee and turned him into a manager. I think he took over the Skyscrapers just after this. The Road Warriors wouldn’t get close to the titles anymore after this and would leave for the WWF about a year later. The Freebirds would get the belts in a little over a month before a team called the Steiner Brothers took them in November.

The Warriors and their manager rant about the cheating.

Ranger Ross vs. Iron Sheik

Ross is a military themed guy and he repels from the ceiling. Sheik does the national anthem bit before the match and then jumps Ross before the bell. Ross gets beaten down and both guys get abdominal stretches. Ross gets a standing Mafia Kick but Rip Morgan, Sheik’s flag bearer, comes in for the DQ. JYD makes the save. This was nothing and I don’t think it led anywhere.

Flair says he’s ready and he’s awesome and all that jazz.

US Tag Titles: Rick Steiner/Eddie Gilbert vs. Kevin Sullivan/Dan Spivey

Steiner and Gilbert are champs here. Sullivan and Spivey are Varsity Club. That would break up later in the year. This is a rematch from yesterday on TV where the Varsity Club won. Oh and Missy Hyatt is with the champions. The challengers jump them to start and Spivey lets Gilbert up at two which even Hayes criticizes. The big beatdown is on and it’s all Varsity Club here.

They’re out on the floor now and Spivey rams Gilbert’s back into the post. Off to Sullivan now which only lasts a bit. A flying clothesline gets two for Spivey. Tree of Woe (not named that) to Gilbert but Sullivan tries it again with the second time failing. Here’s Steiner who beats up Spivey and hooks a belly to belly for two. Everything breaks down and Gilbert pops Sullivan with Missy’s loaded purse for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s really short because we have an hour long main event. This went nowhere because the time killed it but it wasn’t anything all that bad while they were in there. For no given reason (literally) the titles were vacated soon and weren’t won by anyone until a tournament in February, about 9 months later. This was fine.

NWA World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

This is 2/3 falls with a 60 minute time limit. As usual, Flair comes out with women while Steamboat has his son and wife. The son is in a dragon costume. The belt looks good on Ricky. Then again that belt looks good on almost anyone. Except Ronnie Garvin but that goes without saying. Flair has the always awesome black robe here. I miss that thing. Terry Funk is on commentary instead of Hayes which is the very beginning of the next world title feud once this ends.

They hit the mat quickly and MAN are they fast down there. Steamboat gets a very hard chop and the fans are buzzing over it. Flair works the arm as they’re going slow to start. The difference between this and Orton vs. Murdoch: this is going to go somewhere else. I have a feeling the other one wouldn’t have if they had 40 minutes to work with. Flair hits the floor and says come out here.

Steamboat grabs a headlock and they chop it out. By that I mean they hit each other so hard you can hear the skin slap every time. Steamboat speeds things up and it’s back to the mat with the headlock. Dropkick gets two for Steamboat. We’re ten minutes in now. The US and TV title matches might be on but we’re not sure. For some reason they were scheduled later. Neither will wind up airing but they’re nothing of note anyway. Sting and Luger both retain over Rip Morgan and Jack Victory respectively.

Back to the mat now and Steamboat controls with a front facelock. Flair tries to fight back but gets chopped down for two. They have a ton of time here so they’re definitely in slow mode. Flair heads to the floor and there’s the Flair Flop outside. We get an explanation of how the other title matches will air on Saturday’s TV show if necessary. I like that and the reason being is they wanted to make sure this gets the full time limit if they need it.

We’re 15 minutes in and they chop away hard. Steamboat puts Flair down with a double shot for two. Flair blocks a splash with knees and goes to work on the ribs. Butterfly suplex gets two. Steamboat keeps kicking out as Flair has a test of strength grip while Steamboat is on the mat. They chop it out but Steamboat misses a dropkick in a nice bit of psychology. Steamboat counters a Figure Four attempt into a small package but Flair reverses into one of his own for the first fall at just shy of twenty minutes.

Back with the second fall after a brief rest period. Steamboat takes over quickly and hits a top rope chop to the head for two. Funk says this is like his brother vs. Brisco. Now that is a compliment. Flair misses his knee drop and Steamboat goes after the other leg. He drops SIXTEEN elbows on it and slaps on the Figure Four (ON THE CORRECT LEG!!!). Flair finally grabs the ropes but he’s in trouble.

Flair avoids another Figure Four but gets caught in a Boston Crab at what sounded like the 25 minute mark. He gets to the rope again but he’s still in big trouble. Flair fires a few shots off but we go down into the backslide reversal spot which I’m sure you all are familiar with. They hit the floor and Steamboat goes into the railing. We’re at thirty minutes now and Flair suplexes Steamboat over the top for two.

Abdominal stretch time by Flair and he even rolls Steamboat up for two while still holding onto it. Steamboat gets beaten on a bit more until Flair goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed for two. Out of nowhere Steamboat grabs a double chickenwing hold (think the position for the Glam Slam but he holds Flair in place) for a submission to tie us up at a fall apiece.

After a quick break Flair is spent but Steamboat gets poked in the eye so he can’t follow up at the thirty five minute mark. There’s the second Flair Flop in about a minute. They chop it out but Flair grabs….something that we can’t see since the camera angle was really bad for a bit. It was a leg move whatever it was. The Figure Four goes on quickly but Steamboat grabs the ropes even faster.

Steamboat fires back even more chops and Flair gets taken down as he tries to do the Flair Flip in the corner and run up the other corner spot. Flair rolls Steamboat up and puts his feet on the ropes for two. We have twenty minutes left in the time limit. Flair works on the knee even more and there’s the Figure Four. Steamboat taps like crazy but that doesn’t mean anything for a few years.

The hold is finally broken and Flair goes up top again for a cross body for two. Steamboat tries to slam him but can’t hold him due to the leg work. We have 15 minutes left. Steamboat’s cross body gets two as does a sunset flip for the champion. Flair throws on a sleeper which is the logical idea here, although I don’t ever recall it winning a match in this situation.

Steamboat manages to send Flair into the corner and out of the ring to get a break. We hit the 50 minute point as JR makes fun of the WWF by saying they’re not coming out to music and posing. Flair goes after the knee again but Steamboat chops away. Just because irony is fun, Steamboat poses after coming out to music. The NWA doesn’t do that right? The champ lowers his head and Flair pops him in the back and hooks a suplex for no cover.

We have six minutes left and Flair goes up for no apparent reason. After the legally required slam, it’s time for the screwy (but legal) finish. Steamboat goes back to the double chickenwing but his leg gives out. It’s almost like a tiger suplex at this point and Steamboat pops his shoulder up at the last minute to have Flair pinned.

Rating: A. Hard to argue with this one as it wasn’t an iron man match so the time limit was just there to give it a cap on the ending. Everything makes sense and the psychology flows very nicely with both guys having the injuries from earlier in the match come into play later on, especially in the ending. This was great stuff and while you could probably cut out some of it, it’s still good stuff.

HOWEVER, we have an issue. Flair’s foot was in the ropes during the pinfall, meaning we have an unclear finish. Steamboat is in the back and sees it and exactly as you would expect from him, he’s totally calm about it and says Flair has a legit complaint and needs to talk to someone about it. This set up match #3 at Wrestle War which is allegedly the best of the trilogy, although I’ve always liked Chi-Town Rumble best.

Overall Rating
: B. When you have a three hour show and one hour of it is spent in a very good match, it’s hard to say this isn’t a good show. The question then is how good is it. The middle of the show isn’t that great but it’s not the worst show you’ll see. Steamboat vs. Flair is always worth seeing, but I think this might be the least interesting of their series, which might be because the title didn’t change. Still though, good old fashioned NWA stuff here before they got silly.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #5: Someone Hit Me With A Blunt Instrument.

Clash of the Champions 5: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
Date: February 15, 1989
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Magnum TA

I was going to do a WCW Saturday Night but it was partially cut off so I took it off my list and you get this instead. This is a buildup show to Chi-Town Rumble which means that other than the world title match, there isn’t much to build up to. The main event is for the six man titles, which actually did exist. There’s probably a reason you’re not familiar with them though. Let’s get to it.

Steamboat is ready for tonight.

Magnum and Jim talk about the US Tag Title match, which is under Freebird Rules. The main event is Sting/JYD/Michael Hayes vs. the LOD/Tenryu for the six man titles.

Midnight Express vs. Russian Assassins

We hear the director tell the announcer to talk. The Russians combine to weigh 288lbs. I don’t think that’s correct. If nothing else we get to hear the Express’ music which is still awesome. Lane starts with let’s say #1. One of them is Jack Victory and the other is Angel of Death. JR says that Russian #1 weighs 330lbs, kind of disproving the combined 288. Lane fires off his kicks and it’s quickly off to Bobby for some arm work.

And here’s a random kid in the crowd wearing sunglasses. The cameramen in this era had some odd tendencies to jump around like that. Off to Lane vs. #2 and we look at more fans. Bobby is already back in and they’re tagging very fast. Lane is back in and we get an inset promo from Paul E about the Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express match on Monday at the PPV.

Bobby escapes the heel corner and Paul jumps in on commentary. Well in theory he does as JR introduced him but there’s no Dangerously. Cornette and the Russian manager Paul Jones almost get into a fight. Ok now Dangerously is here. He talks about his game plan which is to speed things up. Cornette BLASTS an Assassin with the tennis racket and dances a bit.

Lane beats up #2 and the Assassins hit the floor for a powwow. They switch on the floor because they’re Russians and therefore evil. Lane is playing Ricky Morton here which is ironic if nothing else. Off to a bearhug by let’s say #1. #2 comes in and hooks a snap suplex and a bearhug of his own. Why is that such a Russian move? The Assassin looks like he’s resting his head on Lane’s chest.

Stan escapes and misses something that looked like a front flip attack into the corner. Cross body gets one on the Assassin. The other one comes in as Lane stays on defense. A Russian misses something and everything breaks down. There’s the tag to Eaton and he manages to hit the Rocket Launcher for the pin on we’ll say #2.

Rating: D+. Long and not all that good. The Midnigts were awesome but this wasn’t their best year. The match was a bit longer than they needed, but this is a two and a half hour show so they needed to fill in the time somehow. That would become very evil in the next match. Be afraid as well as warned.

Ricky Steamboat says he’s back in the NWA to fight for America and the family way against bad stuff like drugs. O…..k. He’s having a tuneup match tonight. We get a clip from a Flair vs. Steamboat brawl. Steamboat wins and rips Flair’s clothes off.

Steven Casey vs. Butch Reed

Casey is an NWA career jobber that never did anything. Reed appears to be popular here but I don’t remember him ever being a face. Casey takes over to start with some speed stuff and hooks an armbar. While he does let it go a bit, he goes back to it over and over again. After about two minutes it’s broken and let’s look at the crowd. Reed stalls and here’s another fan. Then Reed stalls again. Now Reed works on the arm to mix things up a bit.

Casey is undefeated. Good for him. Now he reverses into an armbar of his own. This is looking like a LONG one people. Reed fights up, gets punched down, and it’s an armbar again. Butch goes to the floor and now it’s time for a test of strength. Casey, a blonde idiot, accepts the challenge against a guy who was billed as one of the strongest in the NWA. Casey goes down but eventually counters into, you guessed it, the armbar.

Ok this is something I talk about a lot but usually the opposite. There are a lot of people that work on limbs because it’s a very basic psychology move. The key thing though is that interesting guys mix up their attacks. Casey, a guy that had about two matches in his televised career that people can find, both of which are loses to bigger names on COTCs, is doing the same thing over and over again and it’s REALLY boring. It’s so simple yet a lot of people don’t get it.

Reed pounds him down and here’s a chinlock for some excitement. Casey gets up (finally) and tries to speed things up but he gets sent to the floor to slow things down again. A dropkick by Casey misses so let’s look at the fans again….AND BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. Reed puts a foot on the rope (the bottom one) but it doesn’t really add anything here. This is supposed to be building up Reed for Sting at the PPV. I really don’t want to see that match now so that’s a failure so far.

Casey fights back and even his punches in the corner are boring. A monkey flip puts Reed down and there are a pair of dropkicks. Reed grabs a gorilla press and again he slows things down. Dude, JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY. And then he finally does with a top rope shoulder block for the pin at SEVENTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES. I’ve seen world title matches at Wrestlemania that didn’t go that long!

Rating: S. Seventeen and a half minutes for what can only be called a squash. Seriously, that’s what this was. Casey was a jobber (arguably to the stars) and he got almost twenty minutes to get beaten up by Reed. You know, other than those times where he unleashed the power of the armbar. Just awful and let this be a lesson to you: just because a match goes long, it does NOT mean it was good.

Here’s Flair and the army of women. He talks about how he’ll keep the title because he’s the champ and gets whatever he wants. Flair is in a fur coat and has the girls show off a bit. It’s the best thing going today don’t you know. He calls out Steamboat (sign of the times: you can barely understand him because the equipment isn’t that great) and here he is. Flair shows off the women and makes fun of Steamboat for being with the same woman every night.

Steamboat says he despises everything that Flair stands for and how he represents the NWA. Flair brags about all of his stuff like his suit and coat. Flair says go home and help the wife with the dishes and it’s on. Steamboat rips the clothes off again as Bob Caudle just kind of stands around. Why does Flair always wind up in just his underwear? Is it a running rib that I just don’t get? This eats up a few minutes. Hiro Matsuda, Flair’s manager, helps but Steamboat fights them off and they brawl into the crowd. Man those are loud chops. Steamboat wins and puts on Flair’s suit.

Lex Luger vs. The Blackmailer

It’s Jack Victory in another mask. Luger gets a US Title shot at the PPV and get it for the second time. That isn’t his huge 19 month reign though. He would lose the belt and win it back 15 days later. Can you tell I’m trying to fill space before we get to this? Is the Blackmailer really the best name they can come up with? Doesn’t he need to have blackmail on someone for that whole idea to work? Luger throws him around with raw power to start and here’s a fan. Seriously, what is the deal with that?

They exchange headlocks and Lex looks bored. A shoulder puts Blackmailer on the floor. Matsuda is here as well to try to scout Luger or something. Belly to belly takes down Luger but he pops right back up. For a change of pace, here’s a headlock on the mat. Powerslam puts Blackmailer down. This is just DRAGGING. Back to the headlock instead of a cover or going for a finish.

Lex gets clotheslined to the floor and this is done. I don’t mean it’s a DQ but this is just not going to recover and the show is officially done. There’s nothing left they can do to get a show out of it worth anything. Naturally, we have almost an hour to go. Blackmailer stomps him off the apron and MY GOODNESS JUST GET TO THE ENDING ALREADY!!! A sunset flip for Lex gets two and Blackmailer beats him down again.

Time for MORE CHINLOCKS. I know Victory has already had a nearly 15 minute tag match and now this but hey, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMEONE ELSE TO BE IN THIS MATCH. Lex finally fights out of it with a suplex and Hulks Up. After hitting basic power stuff, Barry Windham’s (the US Champion) superplex gets the pin.

Rating: F. I just got done watching my Cowboys lose to the Giants and now I get to see this? This was another thirteen minutes of this show that just will not go away and die like it needs to do. There’s just nothing here at all and the show should have ended a few hours ago, but here it is, still going.

Rick Steiner, who is a bit crazy and TV Champion, talks about his rematch with Rotundo at the PPV. Alex, a face drawn on his hand, will have his back.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Williams and Sullivan are the champions but Rotundo is taking Sullivan’s place because he can. I’ve always liked the Fantastics so maybe this can get things going a tiny bit. Rotundo vs. Rodgers to start us off. And now let’s stall a lot. Here are more fans for those of you watching for them. Rotundo rides him on the mat for awhile and we hear that the Varsity Club wants to win by submission. Ok then.

Rodgers grabs a headlock and a clothesline gets two. Off to Williams who as I’ve explained is kind of the Brock Lesnar of his day. The Fantastics double team him with a double dropkick until it’s off to just Fulton. Williams easily takes him to the mat and hooks a chinlock, the move of the night. Rick Steiner in an inset interview says that he’ll be ready for Rotundo in Chicago. Steiner would lose the title, but he’d start a little tag team to fill in his time after that.

Back to….the fans. Rotundo is back in…and never mind he’s back out again. Rodgers’ dropkick is no sold and Williams mauls him a bit. Fulton pounds on Rotundo in the corner a bit but Williams shoves him to the floor. We get the classic referee misses the tag spot so Williams can keep beating on him even more. Williams does his always awesome gorilla press spot, where he lifts Fulton up a bunch of times in a row.

Oklahoma Stampede, Williams’ running powerslam out of the corner, is blocked and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. He hits a middle rope fist and Williams is in a little bit of trouble. Everything breaks down and Fulton comes back in illegally. Rodgers hits a top rope cross body but Rotundo gets in a shot to the back of Rodgers for the cheating pin.

Rating: D. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far and even it was pretty bad. The Fantastics were in over their heads will Williams who was just a machine at this point. The Club was almost done at this point but they were still a pretty solid force. Anyway though, not much here, although way better than anything else on the show up to this point.

Bob Bradley vs. Ricky Steamboat

Bradley is only somewhat known as Battle Kat from WWF. He was a weird flying guy but really bad and in a mask that would make a six year old’s work look great by comparison. Ricky’s wife and kid are here with him so I wonder how it’ll go. Steamboat knocks him to the floor with his chops and punches but Bradley gets a few slams to take over. The fans want Flair.

Bradley goes to the floor and gets in some more shots. This is going NOWHERE at all. Bradley is nothing new at all and is as generic as they come. He goes into the middle buckle and it’s off to the armbar. Here’s a not very good looking blonde in the crowd. She has nothing to do with this but we see her anyway. After a bunch of armbars, Bradley misses a top rope splash and the top rope cross body ends this.

Rating: D. Another dull match that was just another squash but at least this one was only a few minutes long as opposed to going on forever. Flair of course would win the title from Flair on Monday, but would only hold the belt for about two and a half months. That’s often forgotten: he barely had the title for long at all before Flair got it back.

Rip Morgan vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is the TV Champion but this is non-title. Morgan’s thing is he’s from New Zealand and he used to work for the Sheepherders. Both guys are insane so this is going to be, uh, different. Rotundo says he was embarrassed by Steiner but he’ll get the title back on Monday. That’s true. Morgan pounds away to start but Steiner drills him to take over. And now let’s stall.

Morgan takes his time getting back inside the ring and fires off some knees in the corner. They ram heads and Rick loses some more. A powerslam by Steiner gets two. JR tells us AGAIN that this company has been around since 1905 and we wrestle here. First of all, it was 1948. Second of all, WHAT ELSE WOULD THIS BE??? THE COMPANY IS THE NATIONAL WRESTLING ALLIANCE. WERE YOU EXPECTING A BOWLING TOURNAMENT??? Morgan hooks a chinlock but misses a splash. Steiner fights back with basic stuff and the belly to belly ends this.

Rating: D. I know I’ve used that a lot, but my goodness this has been horrible. This show has just gone on and on and on. This was the shortest match of the night, running only about 5 minutes, but it was still another dull match that doesn’t make me want to see the matches on Monday or anything like that. At least it’s over soon.

The Six Man Title challengers are very fired up and all of them (two of them former Mid-South guys) say they’ll win. They go into a caged area and Kevin Sullivan pops up to lock them in.

Since they’re still caged in and no one in Cleveland have bolt cutters, here are the replacements.

Six Man Tag Titles: Road Warriors/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Varsity Club

Yep it’s a bait and switch main event. Big brawl to start and for some reason they’re on a wide shot. Oh ok so it’s we can watch the original challengers try to get out of the caged stairs. Everyone in this is a heel. Well in theory that is. No one knows Tenryu and and the Warriors are still popular anyway. Tenryu gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Williams vs. Hawk.

We’re literally on our 5th shot of the three guys trying to get out. Oh hey they did. Animal gets his arm worked on for a long time as the other three (Hayes/JYD/Sting if you’ve forgotten) aren’t here yet. Hawk’s tag isn’t seen and I have no idea if they’re good guys or bad guys. The original challengers FINALLY get here and it’s thrown out.

Rating: F. No point, no thought, no caring from me.

A huge brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show ran two and a half hours. You could pretty easily have fit everything into about 40% of that and it would have been fine. I’ve watched about 30 Clashes now and this is BY FAR the worst one. There’s no point in most of this and these matches didn’t make me want to watch Chi-Town Rumble at all. It was a good show too, which makes this show all the worse. Absolutely horrible show and I need a stiff drink.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #3: My Goodness Barry Windham Was Awesome In The 80s

Clash of the Champions 3: Fall Brawl
Date: September 7, 1988
Location: Albany Civic Center, Albany, Georgia
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is roughly the 837th show called Fall Brawl out of about 3847 of them. It’s late 88 and therefore this is a tricky show to call. The main event is Sting vs. Windham which should be awesome. This is one of the odd 90 minutes shows, making it about 75 minutes on the commercial free version. There isn’t anything special coming up as Starrcade was in December. This is just a show and on paper it could go either way. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting being so close before but losing at the very last moment. Oh and he’s fighting Windham, a Horseman, in the main event. That’s about all there is here.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Brad Armstrong

Rotunda was a mega heel at this point and the champion. He’s considered unbeatable in 20 minutes. He’s the leader of the Varsity Club at this point. We take a break and come back for the opening bell. I think this was broadcast live. Rotunda takes him to the mat early and stalls a lot. Armstrong wakes up and sends Rotunda to the floor where he wants time out.

He speeds things up and gets a dropkick to Rotunda for two. That was a nice flurry for him and it’s another great moment of Armstrong that you don’t often get to see. We take a break with Rotunda getting back in. Back with Rotunda getting a knee to the ribs and taking over. Sullivan adds some cheating on the floor as Rotunda stalls. For once though that makes sense as he wants to burn off as much of that time limit as he could.

Suplex back in over the ropes gets two for the champion. The kickout gets a nice pop too. People were dying to see Rotunda lose and when he finally did the explosion is great. Chinlock goes on but Armstrong hangs on. Armstrong Georgias Up but gets knocked right back down. There’s a “That’s the Night That They Drove Old Dixie Down” joke somewhere in there.

Back to the chinlock as we’re wasting time, which like I said makes sense in this case. Here comes Armstrong who gets some shots in but runs into a clothesline for a long two. The crowd is eating this up with a spoon mind you. Just after the kickout we take another break. They do those very abruptly on this show.

Back with another chinlock and now Steve Williams, former member of the Varsity Club, playing cheerleader at ringside. Rotunda goes way old school with an airplane spin but he goes down too. Two minutes left as the ending is very clear here. Armstrong gets the left shoulder up and the fans are literally standing. To his credit Rotunda goes for the pins still with a small package at one minute to go. There seems to be an incentive to Armstrong lasting here. Naturally he does and for some reason it’s a huge deal. Apparently this is a huge underdog story or something. Williams comes in to celebrate.

Rating: D+. This is a fine example of a match where long does not mean good. This was mainly chinlock which is never a recipe for something good. Armstrong would get a lot better and Rotunda would lose very soon. This wasn’t much, but Armstrong is a guy I could watch for days so I can’t complain here. Still though, kind of weak. Ok maybe I can complain a little.

We see Jimmy Garvin getting a cinderblock dropped on his leg to end the Garvins vs. Varsity Club feud. Garvin would be gone for months.

Nikita Koloff/Steve Williams vs. The Sheepherders

The sheep dudes are of course the Bushwhackers and are absolutely insane here. This is a challenge match of some sort. Koloff is over here as is Williams. Williams gets taken to the corner and fights them off so Koloff and Williams have a standoff with the evildoers and are like BRING IT ON. It’s a shame Williams turned face. As a heel he was more or less the Brock Lesnar of his day.

Doc (Williams’ nickname, short for Dr. Death) runs over both guys like they’re not even there. We talk about the Midnight Express vs. the Horsemen. This was the top tag feud at the time and would be done in less than ten days with the titles changing hands at a house show and never being mentioned again as the Horsemen went to the WWF and wouldn’t be seen for 2-3 years and Blanchard more or less never wrestling again other than once a year at legends shows. Great thing to push no? This was when Crockett was selling to Turner so everything was completely up in the air if you couldn’t tell that.

Koloff runs them out of the ring with ease as well. It should be noted that the Sheepherders have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan who is more or less just a lackey. Williams hits a clothesline to send Luke to the floor. This has been domination. Doc crushes Luke (who is called Luke Williams here so it’s a bit confusing. If I say Williams I only mean Steve) with a top rope cross body for two.

Koloff in now and then back to Williams. This has to shift control soon here. Doc works on Luke’s arm and then it’s back off to Koloff who works on it as well. Ah there’s a thumb to the eye to break the momentum which lasts about 3 seconds as it’s back to Doc. Williams gets a running charge but his shoulder hits the post as I think we have our face in peril as we take a break.

Back with Williams no selling punches from Luke. Butch comes in from behind to take Doc down again as we hit the chinlock. Now let’s talk about the tag titles again. Williams causes some heel miscommunication and it’s off to Koloff. The flag bearer hits Koloff in the back and the heels take over one more time. Luke hits a middle rope headbutt for two. Butch spits at Williams, allowing double teaming to occur.

Koloff kicks out of an elbow. The crowd is white hot here which is a good sign for later on in the night. Koloff stands up and uses the power of Communism or something to…get beaten down by a punch from Luke. There’s a sleeper by Luke to fill some time. Ross really likes reminding us that the Sheepherders have been partners for ten years. We hit the fifteen minute mark as Koloff breaks the hold.

Luke keeps hammering away on him as the rest that Koloff got didn’t last very long. Koloff is like screw it and punches the heck out of Luke. The flag bearer hits Williams in the back with the flag so there’s no Doc for Nikita to tag. Luke misses a top rope headbutt and there’s Doc for a tag and a ROAR. Morgan, the flag dude, is in there now too. Doc gets chop blocked when setting for a slam. Back to Koloff who ENDS Butch with a Russian Sickle (clothesline with the arm hooked at an angle) for the pin. Sick clothesline.

Rating: B-. Better match than the first here which worked rather well. This was a formula tag match but the crowd carried this to a higher grade than it probably should get. The big power guys were awesome at their job of being the monsters that the crowd was going to pop for. Also that clothesline was great. I usually don’t like simple moves like those as finishers but this was one of those times where if he had kicked out it would have been awful. This was Nikita’s last match for almost three years as his wife was very sick and he stopped to be with her.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a grudge match for no apparent reason. Dusty’s booking around this time was uh….bad. Basically he made Russo in 2000 look like Jim Cornette with whatever roster and money he wanted complete with mind control powers to keep people from arguing. Sullivan is completely insane at this point and more or less turning into a demonic character. This became very fun when the Road Warriors took turns beating the living heck out of him. I’d assume this is for JUSTICE or something like that.

Dusty hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately where Dusty hammers him towards the announce table. All Dusty to start here. He rams Kevin into the table a bunch of times then throws him into Gary Hart, Sullivan’s manager. Sullivan has something made of metal in the ring so Dusty chills on the floor. My guess is he’s looking for a taco.

Kevin slaps away at Dusty’s chest but the power of fat jiggling stops any pain. Dusty hammers him out to the floor and then does the same in the corner. A bunch of elbows follow but Sullivan gets a shot to the throat which sends Dusty spiraling out of control. Out to the floor goes the fat boy and Hart hits him in the head with his shoe.

Back in and it’s a chinlock. Hart distracts the referee so Sullivan can use a spike that he’s been known to use in the past. Hey look it’s more chinlock! We talk about Jimmy Garvin getting hurt by Sullivan and the feud with the Garvins vs. Sullivan. Dusty gets a low blow to break the hold and here comes Dusty.

Sullivan tries the spike again but Dusty steals it to drill him in the head. The referee is like whatever man and counts anyway but Hart makes the save. Dusty goes after Hart but Al Perez runs out with a chain and drills Dusty which isn’t a DQ and the double team is on. Dusty gets a stupid spot as they try to double clothesline him with the chain so he dives on it and pulls them into each other. Then he pins Hart for the win. I give up.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad. The match made no sense, there might have been one wrestling move in there somewhere and no one could tell what was going on. Not to mention there were multiple interferences and Dusty pinned the manager to win. See what I meant about his booking being out there? Case in point, this next match.

Ah wait as we have to have a football player here. He’s refereeing an upcoming Flair vs. Luger title match. Flair comes out and humiliates him by just outthinking him in a funny bit that wasn’t supposed to be funny.

Ricky Morton vs. Ivan Koloff

It’s a chain match here as in the touch all four corners type. Yes this is another one of those matches/angles that made zero sense. It’s supposed to lead to a face turn for Ivan but no one cared and the whole point to it, his nephew Nikita saving him, meant nothing as Nikita had already left the arena so there was no one to help and get the angle over. Koloff overpowers him to start of course and uses the chain to clothesline him.

The announcers talk about how Jones (manager) had said Koloff was the weak link in the chain (get it?) and has to win here. Yeah think they’re giving it away easily enough? Koloff uses power to start as this is HIS match. And now we talk about the football player (John Ayers) and how he earned his reputation on a field, not by talking. Morton heads to the floor and pulls Ivan down to the mat.

Back in the ring now with Ricky in control. And never mind as it’s back to Ivan again. He gets two corners but Ricky hits him in the knee to break that up. Morton tries to drag him but Ivan is like “In Soviet Russia, opponent pulls you” and breaks that up. Ivan goes up but gets pulled down by the chain as we take a break. It never ceases to amaze me that Koloff is a former WWF Champion. That’s always odd to see. Back with Morton getting three but Jones holding out his riding crop for more leverage. Then he loses his grip and Ricky wins. Ok then.

Rating: D. Another weak match here and the only point was to set up the post match face turn by force. Jones and Koloff were completely worthless and some of the weakest heels of all time. This went nowhere at all and is a gimmick that I can’t stand anymore. It doesn’t prove anything and this was no exception. Bad match.

Koloff hits Jones post match but the Russian Assassin makes the save. Another runs out for the double beatdown as there’s no Nikita to save. They hang Koloff over the ropes so we take a break.

US Title: Sting vs. Barry Windham

This should be good. Ayers, the aforementioned football player, is doing commentary for this. Sting can wear yellow and be manly doing it. Sting gets some armdrags to frustrate Windham to start. Ayers hasn’t said a word yet. Wait is he on commentary or just at ringside? They speed things up and of course Sting wins that portion. Windham hids on the floor with JJ.

Back in and Windham gets a belly to back suplex which is no sold and Sting hits a pair of sweet dropkicks to send Windham back to the floor. Test of strength goes on and Windham kicks him in the gut to take over. Punches in the corner of course result in an atomic drop as this has been about 95% Sting. Sting gets the punches in the corner as I guess Windham didn’t learn a thing from moments ago.

Sting misses his big elbow as always and Windham takes over for real. Barry sends him to the floor where Windham hammers away. We talk about the Claw Hold of Windham’s which is something I’ve never been a fan of. Not Windham’s per se but the hold in general. Back in and Sting gets a sunset flip for two but that’s the end of his offense here.

Powerslam by Windham gets no cover. A falling punch gets two as Windham is in control. We’re ten minutes in now and Windham misses a splash in the corner so Sting shoves him over the top to the floor. Shouldn’t that be a DQ? We adjust the rules again because that’s not the finish. Sting rams Windham into various metal objects to bust him open. Into the table now as Windham looks gone.

Sting gets a dropkick but Windham is in the ropes. Sleeper by Sting and the champion is in trouble. Naturally it isn’t the finish but Sting holds it for a good while. Barry goes after the knee to escape and it’s a Figure Four. Barry shifted Sting’s torso to the middle of the ring before putting it on which is the sign of a great worker. Sting taps but that would mean waiting about six years before it meant anything in America.

Windham gets caught cheating and the hold has to be broken. Barry shifts over to a delayed belly to back suplex but here comes Sting on one leg. He manages a suplex but holds the knee afterwards. I can live with that I guess. Barry cops a feel of Sting’s chest. Oh wait it’s the claw. On Sting’s chest. Well sure why not. Sting hammers away to break it up. I guess he’s just not that kind of wrestler to let someone feel him up in their first match.

Sting slingshots Barry back in after he knocked him out to the floor a second ago. Since this is a major match we get a ref bump. See? It wasn’t just an Attitude Era thing. Stinger Splash hits and here comes the Scorpion but JJ brings in a chair which Barry drills Sting with. That gets two as John Ayers, the football player, comes in and stops the count, telling the referee what happened. Sting and Ayers pose to end the show.

Rating: B+. If this had anything resembling a good ending it’s pushing an A. These two had a 20 minute war out there with neither guybeing able to take over for the most part and it was very back and forth. Sting was awesome at this point and had it not been for Dusty losing his mind, Barry could have been the biggest star not named Hogan in the world. Anyway, this was a great match with a bad ending, which would become one of WCW’s trademarks.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade. It’s definitely more good than bad and the commercials hurt it a lot. The first match is certainly watchable and the tag is good. The two “special” matches more or less suck, but a great main event makes up for a lot of that. It’s one of the better shows in this series, but that’s not saying much. Anyway, decent show but other than the main event there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. See the main event though.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #2: How Can Sting/Rhodes vs. The Horsemen Be So Boring?

Clash of the Champions 2: Miami Mayhem
Date: June 8, 1988
Location: James L. Knight Center, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Tony Schiavone

It’s the second show in this series and the main event, while still a big match, isn’t quite Sting vs. Flair for the title. Instead Sting and Dusty are teaming up to take on Arn and Tully for the tag titles. They really didn’t know what they were doing yet with this stuff so it’s kind of hard to know what to expect. We’re building to Bash 88 here so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Various people are here, namely being “celebrities” that aren’t really celebrities.

Ah let’s make sure to talk about the NWA promoters because the NWA actually thinks that either they mean something or that anyone other than them cares.

It’s going to be really hard to take Tony seriously with that mustache. He and Bob run down the card.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Brad Armstrong

Barry is champion here of course and would hold the title for about 9 months and is a Horseman here. Feeling out process to start as we look at a random sign in the audience instead of an armdrag by Brad. Now let’s look at Dillon in the middle of a move. Are these guys following the TNA playbook for camera cuts? Brad gets a slam and Barry chills on the floor a bit.

Headlock takeover by Brad as we hit the mat. After a solid sequence on the mat, Barry heads into the corner to hide as this is taking its sweet time. Windham starts using his power but can’t hit a big elbow. Crowd is red hot here. Off to the headlock to waste some time and QUIT CUTTING TO THE FREAKING CROWD!!! It’s like this show has ADD or something.

Big slam hits as this is almost all Armstrong. Off to another chinlock as they keep getting going and then stopping which is rather annoying. Windham gets out of the way and the Horseman takes over. Powerslam gets two. Figure four goes on because when you have a monster like Windham, the right thing is to have him use a submission hold on a body part he hasn’t touched all match. This is what we mean by bad psychology.

You know Teddy, if you actually watched the wrestlers you might see something happen. I guess he looks at Dillon’s hair and gets jealous or something. This hold goes on longer than should be humanly possible but that’s wrestling for you I guess. This hold has been on for over two minutes now. Windham is either really bad at this hold or Armstrong has legs of steel.

JJ tries to cheat for about the tenth time so the referee finally breaks it. Slam sets up Barry to go up top, only to miss a big elbow. Brad fires off and the fans are loving this. Top rope cross body gets two. Brad tries a second one but Barry rolls through it and grabs the Claw, his EVIL finisher, for the pin. That was a pretty sweet ending actually.

Rating: C+. Not bad here overall with the fans making this a lot better. The figure four in the middle kills it but the times where they were moving out there were really good. The ending helped it a lot as they needed a good ending to carry it through. Not a great match or anything but Armstrong rarely was bad and this was no exception.

Now it’s time for the show to grind to a screeching halt as we plug a sitcom about wrestling with a football player that will air this fall. It’s called Learning the Ropes which is about a teacher that moonlights as a wrestler and the NWA guys were on the show also. Now here are some of the issues: first of all the football player playing the main character stood about 6’7 and had a dark complexion (white, but with darker skin). He was played by the nearly pale and 6’1 Dr. Death Steve Williams for his matches as he wrestled in a mask as a jobber to the stars. Somehow, this lasted a whole season. The 80s never stop amazing me.

Anyway we’re told that the wrestlers are great athletes and how some of them are better athletes than the football players. We get a clip of the show which is more like a promo for it than a clip. This couldn’t be more 80s if they tried. Naturally this needs to be shown for so much time on Clash of the Champions right?

The Rock N Roll Express return to the company and will be at the Bash. They say they’re awesome.

We see Luger and Flair signing their contract for the title match on a yacht. There are a bunch of NWA guys in there and a bunch of business people that own the Chicago Blackhawks apparently. The NWA never quite got the idea of TV did they? The signing is nothing and they both say nothing of note. Total waste of time here.

The Horsemen arrive, 40 minutes into the show. Granted we’re just told this because we don’t need to see it right?

Back and the Horsemen haven’t arrived yet. Oh ok the Horsemen are but Flair is just getting here. THEN WHY ARE THEY ALL IN FLAIR’S LIMO??? Geez people figure out the basic stuff here. Flair says the Horsemen will keep the titles tonight.

US Tag Titles: Sheepherders vs. Fantastics

The Fantastics are champions here and are Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers. The Sheepherders would soon jump to the WWF and change their names to the Bushwhackers. Here though they’re insane heels and rather brutal. They have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan. Luger is just getting here so let’s cut to that before the match starts. The Horsemen jump him and annihilate him, ramming his head into the car and busting him open, which would play a big role in their title match.

Oh hey it’s time for the match. So were the wrestlers just chilling there? I’d bet on a tiddlywinks tournament. Rogers and Butch start us off. Off to Luke almost immediately who gets cross bodied for two. Off to Fulton and the beating begins. We get a weird moment where the Sheepherders can’t figure out who is legal so Fulton just stands there. Out to the floor and everything breaks down. Morgan gets a flag shot in so Fulton drills him.

Fulton vs. Luke in the ring now and Luke takes him down. In theory that is because the camera cut to the crowd to show us that there are in fact people still in the building. Rogers and Luke botch something completely and make what I think was supposed to be a crucifix almost a rollup. Rogers flips through a backdrop and lands on his feet. Everything breaks down again and the Fantastics clear the ring.

Butch vs. Rogers now with Butch taking over. It’s so weird to see him as an evil guy. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. We hit an abdominal stretch as the Sheepherders cheat a lot. Rogers runs into a knee for two. The official time is all over the place as they go from start to five minutes in about four and from five to ten in about three. Fulton comes in and gets stomped down IMMEDIATELY.

Luke hammers away on Fulton as this has been one extreme to the other which is kind of a weird thing to see. Fulton fires back and takes Luke down a few times and knocks Butch down as well but it’s not enough for a tag yet. Here’s another weird part of the match as Fulton takes both Sheepherders down with a cross body and covers both guys. Rogers comes back in and covers both at once again with the referee seeming all cool with it. Both of the Fantastics keep covering both Sheepherders and everyone is cool with this. Weird indeed.

The Sheepherders bail for a bit as this has been more or less a mess. We get an actual tag by the Fantastics and Rogers works on Luke’s arm. Rogers gets knocked to the floor and might have hit his head. Butch throws him into the railing and Tommy takes a belt shot to the back. Where in the world is the referee during all this? After about 12 minutes of wrestling we’re told we’re 15 minutes in.

Chair to the back of Rogers with the referee like a foot away is missed as Rogers has been on the floor for like two minutes now. Back in and there’s STILL no referee for the cover. Heel miscommunication sees Butch hit Luke with a middle rope double axe handle. That goes nowhere because the Sheepherders won’t sell anything. Rogers gets a clothesline and that gets him nowhere at all AGAIN. Rogers rams their heads together and it’s off to Fulton. A rollup to Luke gets the pin that Butch probably broke it up anyway because they needed to end this I guess.

Rating: D. This was weird to say the least. They seemed rather confused out there and the Sheepherders wouldn’t sell a single thing. This would have been far better if they cut this down by about ten minutes but they have to have about 15 minutes a match in the NWA in this era. Not a good match at all which is rare for the Fantastics who I’m a fan of.

Dr. Death sits in on commentary for the next match. He rambles about Luger being awesome and sounds drunk.

Ronnie Garvin/Jimmy Garvin vs. Mike Rotundo/Rick Steiner

It’s Varsity Club time and the Gamesmaster Kevin Sullivan will be in a cage at ringside. There’s a big ordeal going on with the Garvin’s manager Precious and Sullivan which was never really resolved but was getting rather weird indeed. Just a grudge match here. Oh and Rotundo/a is the TV Champion. Steiner is the Florida champion which means nothing. He’s also a clueless putz.

Once again before the match we stop to talk about Luger and cut to Ross because that’s the guy we go to for a big moment I guess. And let’s just reair the thing because no one wants to see this tag match right? Back from a break and it’s a huge brawl. The Garvins hit a double sleeper on both guys before they get sent to the floor. The Varsity guys that is. Sullivan keeps looking at Precious and has something in his coat for her. They’re papers apparently. From what I understand this was supposed to result in an abortion storyline and that was WAY too hardcore for the 80s so it was dropped.

Ronnie gets two on Rick in the ring. Jimmy gets a hammerlock on Rick as we talk about Luger even more. There’s talk of the Tower of Doom which was one of if not the biggest mess you’ll ever see. Sullivan keeps pulling out papers that he wants to show Precious who keeps staring her down and she agrees to something or other. Oh and there’s a tag match going on too.

She has the key to the cage apparently. Rotundo works on Ronnie’s arm as Williams says he’s going to wrestle Rotundo later. Jimmy keeps running off to fight Sullivan even though he’s in a cage. The Varsity guys keep working on Ronnie’s arm as the match means nothing at all. Jimmy finally comes in and beats on Rick for a bit but that might be too interesting so let’s go with a front facelock for awhile.

This is an incredibly boring match as just like almost every match so far tonight they’ve been given way too much time. This is a two hour show and there are five matches. Since there are very few entrances and more or less no long term promos, there’s way too much time in these matches. Ronnie rolls up Rick for two. Off to Rotundo and since Garvin is the worst former world champion ever, Rotundo takes over with relative ease.

The Varsity Club works over Ron as we see Sullivan with the paper again. This needs to end and it needs to end very soon. The tag rope is used to choke Ron and he gets sent to the floor. Everything breaks down again and it’s Rick vs. Jimmy in the ring. Precious goes over to Sullivan who steals the key. Jimmy hits a brainbuster to win over Rick and Precious goes for the papers. Sullivan goes after her and Steve Williams makes the save.

Rating: D. Another match that is boring and way too long, although to be fair with the story being Precious and Sullivan there’s only so much that they can do. Not an interesting match as if you’re going to have a match as a backdrop for a story, don’t have the match be nearly 15 minutes long. Didn’t work at all.

Post match Precious pushes Jimmy away and leaves on her own. To say this was a mess was an understatement.

Road Warriors vs. Powers of Pain in a scaffold match is announced. This would never happen as the Powers jumped to the WWF because they didn’t want to have a scaffold match due to fear of that pesky death thing.

We talk about the Tower of Doom now because we need to waste more time I guess.

Al Perez vs. Nikita Koloff

Koloff you’ve probably heard of. Perez is a heel that is of no consequence for the most part. This is a challenge/grudge match or something like that. They stare each other down for awhile and Nikita shoves him around a lot. Nikita dominates here in one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. The announcers just talk about the Horsemen to fill in time.

Gary Hart, Perez’s manager, interferes and Perez takes over for a bit. This is one of those matches that just keeps going and going with no one caring in the slightest. Hart interferes again and this keeps staying in first gear at best. After Nikita stays on the floor for a bit we hit the chinlock back in the ring. Camel clutch goes on and Koloff gets an electric chair drop to escape.

Koloff is knocked to the floor again because we haven’t been out there long enough in this never ending match yet right? Perez can’t suplex him so Nikita gets one of his own. Nikita makes his comeback and hammers away in the corner before he sends Perez to the floor. And here’s Larry Zbyszko to run in for the DQ and triple beatdown.

Rating: F. End this show already. Another boring match here with a stupid ending that was given about 8 minutes too long which makes the wrestling really boring in the process. This feud of course went nowhere and no one cared, but that’s the NWA for you. No wonder they went out of business.

World Tag Titles: Tully Blanchard/Arn Anderson vs. Sting/Dusty Rhodes

No entrance for the champions. Sting and Arn to start with Sting frustrating him badly. Sting works on the arm as we praise Dusty for no apparent reason. Off to Tully and Sting abuses him a bit too. Dusty, the STAR here I guess, comes in and beats on Tully a bit also. Tully does his usual great selling and it’s time for a figure four by Dusty who of course butchers the thing.

Arn gets a shot in and the Horsemen take over. Clothesline takes Tully down. Oh wait he’s from Texas so it’s a lariat. Off to Sting who cleans a few rooms. He tries the Scorpion on Blanchard but the Horsemen fight him off and send him into the post on the floor. Arn misses a Vader Bomb but Tully stops the tag.

Time to work on the arm which is pure Horsemen to put it mildly. Arn DDTs him on the floor which should kill Sting but JJ throws him back in. Nice guy that JJ. In an unintentionally funny spot, a DDT on the floor gets a one count. That’s just amusing. Backslide gets two for Sting and it’s a collision with him and Tully. Tag off to Dusty and everything breaks down. Dusty shoves the referee and the whole thing is thrown out as Windham, Rhodes’ future opponent, runs in to put the Claw on Dusty. The Horsemen beat down everyone and stand tall to end the show.

Rating: D+. This was just there and another thrown out ending makes my eyes roll a lot. Sting wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and Dusty would of course get a title somehow. Flair would hold the title forever and this whole feud with Luger would drag on for years with Luger never getting the pin over Flair. Almost a token main event here which isn’t a good thing at all.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh jeez this got bad in a hurry. The last hour is just mind numbingly uninteresting. Nothing really happens here and there are no long term implications of anything really. The Bash had nothing of note happening on it either as the champions were all the same by Starrcade. Weak show and a bad followup to the great first edition of this. The same problem runs through this whole show: WAY too long matches because the NWA thought long meant good, which was rarely the case.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #1: America, Meet Sting. Sting, Meet America.

I asked what you guys wanted to see counted up next, so for the next 35 days: it’s the Clash of the Champions. Enjoy.

Edit: Oh and I totally lucked out as this will end on Sunday March 4. The Wrestlemania Count-Up will have to begin on March 5. I didn’t realize that until after I had posted this.

Clash of the Champions
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

There’s quite a bit to say here. This show likely should have been called Crockett’s Revenge. Twice Vince had sabotaged Crockett’s attempt at a PPV debut. First he put on a show called Survivor Series on the same night as Starrcade 87, which was their version of Mania. He had told the PPV companies that if they didn’t show his show, they wouldn’t get Mania 4. The last PPV had been Mania 3, so this terrified the PPV guys. All but like 3 went with Vince. Crockett tried again in January with an awful show called Bunkhouse Stampede which focused on a battle royal. Vince put on a free show about a battle royal and called it the Royal Rumble.

So now it’s late March, which means Wrestlemania time. In fact, this is Wrestlemania night. So Crockett, the nice guy that he is, puts on this: a free show of PPV quality. The main event is Ric Flair vs. a former Horseman (bet a lot of you didn’t know that) who won a title shot and dared to ask Flair for it. He’s incredibly athletic, young, strong and popular. His name is Sting. This show is universally considered his coming out party as he went from a local guy in the UWF to a solid guy in Crockett, to a national star immediately after this match. In short, without this match, Sting means nothing to wrestling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video runs down the show in an incredibly laid back tone. The announcer is talking about revenge etc and sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Keep in mind this was on TBS (a cable channel) so there will be commercials.

Tony is kind of rocking a mustache.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Jimmy Garvin

Rotunda is in the Varsity Club here, which is based on the idea of them all being college athletes. Therefore, this is under college rules. There are three five minute periods and only a one count is needed. Teddy “I still have hair here” Long is referee. Rotunda (IRS later on) is kind of like Swagger-Lite. Garvin is nowhere near as good as Rotunda is on the mat so he’s the underdog here by a long stretch.

We see a LOT of the fans. We know they’re there dudes. There’s a lot of feeling out here with both guys doing basic stuff, which is the idea of the match so I can’t complain about it. The audio on this tape is horrible so I’ll have to do my best on it but I apologize if I miss something. The weird thing is that there’s basic pro stuff here which is almost completely against the idea. Rotunda goes insane on him and almost gets him as we go to the bell to end the first round.

There’s a 30 second rest period. Mike jumps him almost immediately and we get a slam, likely the most high impact move so far. We then have a slam off the top for a change of pace. Kevin Sullivan, Rotunda’s stable mate goes after Precious, Garvin’s wife. That allows a rollup on Garvin to end it. Rick Steiner, the other member of the Varsity Club, comes down and they beat up Garvin but he saves Precious in the end. This was part of a WEIRD angle where Sullivan tried to “get” Precious and had some kind of papers to make that happen. We never found out what they were and the angle never was finished, but dang it was out there.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it was just so different from the traditional match, but this was really just a small piece in the epic feud between Garvin and the Varsity Club. This would dominate the midcard for most of a year as the Varsity Club was incredibly successful. Had the Horsemen not been the greatest stable ever and not been around at that time, it would be very interesting to see just how far these guys could have gone. They were that good. Anyway, this was just to have more Precious vs. Sullivan and Garvin vs. Rotunda so they could be introduced to the audience. No harm there.

Dr. Death talks about Dusty and Magnum who have been having some problems with heels lately. He wants the winner of Sting vs. Flair. Dang I’d pay to see either of those matches.

Ad for the Four Horsemen Vitamins. Take that Flintstones!

US Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Fantastics

The heels are the champions and if you don’t know who the heels are then you fail. It’s Eaton and Stan here for the historically challenged. The Fantastics jump them to start and it is on quick. We go immediately to the floor as this is a huge feud and has been for months. This was the golden era of tag wrestling and these two along with the Rock N Roll Express led the charge.

It’s still just a wild brawl with chairs and tables all over the place. Keep in mind this is 1988 so this stuff is incredibly extreme at the time, at least to the masses. Ross is panicking over all this stuff. This was when he was relatively young and got even more excited than he would later on. It was a regular tag situation for about 9 seconds before we hit the brawling again. Lane’s karate was always cool. The heels beat on Rogers for awhile in textbook fashion. They should be able to anyway since they were half of the guys that made up the modern tag formula.

He gets thrown to the floor and Eaton hits a bulldog on a table. This is an incredibly brutal match. Rogers is pretty much dead at this point and can barely stand but he keeps going. He makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Fulton is like screw THAT and throws the referee out. The Rocket Launcher (Assisted top rope splash, the finisher of the Fantastics and later stolen by the Midnights) ends it. And then the original referee says no as it’s a DQ due to Fulton throwing the referee. Say it with me: DUSTY FINISH. The heels and Cornette beat the heck out of Rogers afterwards.

Rating: B+. Entertaining match here, but too short for my taste. This got about ten minutes and after a three minute brawl, seven minutes just feels too short. You give this another five minutes or so and it goes way up, possibly to near A+ levels. They never stop moving here and it’s just flat out entertaining. Very, very good match. The Fantastics would get the belts about a month later.

Ken Osmond, the guy that played Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver, is here and talks to Cornette. Comedy ensues.

Gary Hart and Al Perez issue a challenge to Dusty Rhodes for the US Title.

We get the top ten seeds for the Crockett Cup. We’ll have to do that someday.

10. Ivan Koloff/Dick Murdoch
9. Sting/Ron Garvin
8. Varsity Club
7. Fantastics
6. Barry Windham/Lex Luger
5. Powers of Pain
4. Midnight Express
3. Road Warriors
2. Nikita Koloff/Dusty Rhodes
1. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

Shockingly, Dusty would win the cup. Yeah imagine that: the booker and US Champion gets another trophy for himself.

Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes vs. Powers of Pain/Ivan Koloff

There’s barbed wire between the ropes and Animal has a mask on his face because of an injury. Animal had been doing bench presses and the heels jumped him, hurting his face. The fans are one sided to say the least. The one thing they haven’t told us is how the guys get in the ring now that there is barbed wire set up around the ropes. Ah the crawl under. Well that was anticlimactic.

Animal is in a hockey mask due to face injuries. A grand total of nothing is going on here. No one is going near the barbed wire and it’s a bunch of punching and people doing their normal stuff. Hawk goes up for a punch from the top to really mix things up a bit. Tony points out how tired everyone is which is true and is quite sad really. Animal gets a powerslam on Warlord for two and then Barbarian misses a headbutt on Animal, hitting Warlord which lets Hawk get the pin. The heels beat down Animal after the match until Dusty makes the save. Well who else was going to do it?

Rating: D. Boring match here but just three and a half minutes or so. This feud never really went anywhere but it’s not like there was any substance to it anyway. At least this was short so that’s really all that matters. Dusty was just worthless in the ring at this point so he gave himself the US Title anyway.

There’s a new NWA show coming up and it meant nothing.

Nikita Koloff, in a suit, says he’s a new Russian and says he’s against drugs now. What the heck am I watching? He yells about Kevin Sullivan and says he’s going to win the world title.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

Luger is still fairly green here so I wouldn’t expect much out of him here. Blanchard is in the Rack in less than a minute so you can tell this is going to be a fun one. The champions have made three tags less than two minutes in. Windham comes in as the crowd is red hot here. In a dumb camera move Windham hits a big powerslam and covers but at two we jump to a shot of Dillon for no apparent reason.

Windham puts Blanchard to sleep on the floor. This is an incredibly fast paced match. Anderson gets the DDT and this is going too fast for me to type. The spinebuster hits Windham before it has a name. Windham hits a gutwrench suplex on Blanchard and both are down, marking the first time in the whole match where nothing is going on. Not bad for six minutes in.

Slingshot Suplex gets two on Windham and Blanchard is STUNNED. We’re waiting on the hot tag to Luger and there it is. The Package cleans house and Tony is losing his mind off of this. Dillon gets a chair for Arn but Luger reverses to send Anderson into it for the pin and the titles. The crowd ERUPTS over this as the Horsemen finally lost the belts, which was something people had been begging for since the day they won them, an agonizing six months ago. JR’s completely over the top announcing just makes it all the sweeter.

Rating: A-. This match is just shy of ten minutes and at most there are 30 seconds where something isn’t happening. I don’t even remember the cruiserweights going this fast during the Nitro shows. The idea here was do something completely different here which they did: no one went this fast at this time, at least no one major and it worked. I know it sounds really basic and it is but the fans HATED the Horsemen and were dying to see them lose the belts.

They had made a habit out of cheating or winning by DQ so many times that the fans were furious at them, so to see someone actually get the win, especially Luger who was kicked out like six weeks ago, was just a massive orgasm moment for everyone. And then Windham turned on Luger in a legit shock to join the Horsemen and make them into the unit that is considered the A-Team of the Horsemen if you can imagine that.

There are judges for the main event. There MUST be a winner. Remember that. The judges are Sandy Scott (former wrestler), Patty Mullin (Penthouse Pet), Ken Osmond (Leave it to Beaver) and Jason Hearvey (Wonder Years). Yeah I’m sure this isn’t going to go badly at all. There are four judges. No one saw a problem with this at all.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

Sting is BRAND new at this point so this should be little more than a glorified squash. Flair’s entrance is nothing short of epic. Dillon, Flair’s manager, is in a cage at ringside. This would be like Evan Bourne getting a title shot. Ok maybe not that low but somewhere between him and Kingston. This is a legendary match but not for the in ring stuff. There we go.

We start with a lot of basic stuff as you would expect. You can get away with a lot of stuff like this with a long time limit like they have to work with. We hear about Flair’s strength which is definitely not something you hear about on a regular basis. Sting dominates early so Flair bails like a good heel. There’s a lot of arm work going on in there which is a basic tactic that works well enough. Sting busts out a flying headscissors which isn’t something you see every day from him. We’re five minutes in and nothing of note has happened.

Tony tells us that if the match ends early we have some standby matches ready, one of which is Shane Douglas vs. Larry Zbyszko for the Western States Title. A title match is a standby match. Does that just sound odd to anyone else? Now of course those matches were never going to happen, but still it makes the belt sound even weaker than it already was. Sting STILL has that headlock on. Well there’s something going on at least….kind of.

Sting’s chest is bleeding from Flair’s chops. There’s headlock #4. Again thought hey have a lot of time left in this. The idea here makes sense though as Sting is young and nervous so he found something that works and he’s sticking with it. He’s trying to get a bunch of little victories where he can, such as a headlock like this. He’s won that battle so he can go from there. That’s probably looking into it too much but I love Sting so I’ll grasp at straws, especially when they come close to making sense.

He uses the headlock one more time as this is starting to get boring with nothing else going on. We look at the Penthouse Pet and Ross says she’s likely used to seeing action. Well ok then JR. We hit ten minutes and it’s the same situation as it was at five minutes past. Sting’s offense is shall we say limited. He hooks a bearhug which is a weird move for a face to use the majority of the time.

Well to be fair though the Scorpion works on the back so there’s a thought there. Fifteen minutes in and Sting has him on the mat in a bearhug which isn’t something you see every day but it works at least. Sting lets him go and is all fired up. The jumping elbow of course misses to get us back to even. Flair hasn’t controlled at all in fifteen minutes so far. And of course that changes just after I type that.

He works on Sting’s back for some reason instead of the legs, but I guess it could be because it slows Sting down. We’re twenty minutes in now as I think we’re speeding up the clock here. Either that or this is a rather uninteresting match. It’s not terrible or anything but there isn’t much going on here. Sting Hulks Up and the crowd wakes up with him. Ross loses his mind over this as I don’t think we’ve had any commercials in this match.

Sting goes for a Stinger’s Splash against the post and just guess how that goes for him. You would think a face would learn over time but apparently not. Flair goes to the wrist but Sting nips up in a cool move. He gets the Scorpion but Flair is in the ropes almost immediately as we have 20 minutes to go. Flair fakes Sting out of his shoes and puts him on the floor again. That looked great.

The idea here is that Flair can’t put Sting away as he just keeps coming back but Sting can’t finish Flair since all he has is the Scorpion. Ah and now we go for Sting’s knees. Now that’s more like it. The judges look at something completely different, showing how brilliant of an idea this was. We’re down to fifteen left. Figure Four goes on and Sting is in real trouble as it’s in the middle of the ring.

After being in it for like a minute and a half Sting turns it over to a very shocked reaction. Both guys have bad knees now so of course Sting is able to do a delayed vertical suplex on a 240lb man. We go abdominal stretch of all things over thirty minutes into a match. Well this is old school so that’s fine I guess. Ten minutes to go. Even after thirty five minutes Flair can’t get the top rope whatever. You have to call it that since there’s almost no way to know what it would be.

Sting hooks a Figure Four on Flair but since he’s not Jay Lethal it doesn’t work. They’re doing a lot of basic stuff here but extending it out to kill time. It’s working though so it’s not so bad. Nature Boy tries to get disqualified and that gets him nowhere. The fans are way into it now as things have cranked up a lot. Sting throws Flair over the judges’ table in a good looking spot.

We have five minutes left and Flair is reeling. You can see the ending coming a mile away but it’s still good stuff. Four minutes left and Sting no sells an atomic drop, apparently having balls of steel. The Splash misses though and Sting crashes to the floor. Three minutes left and they slow things down. Two minutes left and Sting gets a two count off a sunset flip.

I love how Sting no sells chops. He’s all like BRING IT ON BLONDIE as we hit one minute. The Splash hits and he gets the Scorpion with thirty seconds left. Just like Shawn in the Iron Man match, Flair doesn’t give up in the same hold. The time limit expires so we’re going to go to the judges. Sting controlled longer and likely did win the match if you go on a scoring system.

After a break for the judges to tally their scores, we get the results. The Penthouse chick says Flair. Some guy that hasn’t been mentioned at all yet says Sting. Hervey says Sting. Leave it to Beaver dude says Flair. The wrestler says it’s a draw, so Flair keeps the belt.

Rating: B. Well it’s long and solid but far from a classic. This was meant to do one thing though and that was get Sting over. To say that worked is an understatement. This is the definition of a match where even though he lost the guy got elevated a lot. This match flies by and is definitely worth checking out. Flair vs. Sting is a match that was always at least worth watching and this was one of their better ones. Coupling that as something historic and it’s easily recommended.

Overall Rating: B+. This is definitely a more fun show than Mania was. Everything has a purpose and it’s only about two hours long. With a great tag match and a very solid main event, how can you go wrong? The Mania numbers were higher than Mania 3 though so it’s not like this made a huge difference. Crockett was in trouble though as soon after this he was more or less broke and sold to Turner. Anyway though this was a great show and well worth checking out.

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Clash of the Champions #27 – Hogan Is Here

Clash of the Champions #27
Date: June 23, 1994
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 6,700
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We finally wrap up this series here. This is the beginning of a new era in WCW as Hogan makes his major debut here tonight. The main event is the unification of the WCW world titles as Sting faces Flair. Other than that there isn’t much else here, but I thought ending with the main event that set up the first Clash was a good idea. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event. Sherri is going to be in the corner of one of the two world champions but we’re not sure which.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan vs. Nasty Boys

There are two referees for this due to how insane they are. Cactus and Sullivan are champions. This is a Slamboree rematch. Sullivan’s brother Dave is here and has a Hulk Selur shirt on. His gimmick was that he was dyslexic you see. Sags vs. Cactus gets us going and Jerry beats him down. Cactus fights back and the crowd is WAY into this. Everything breaks down about 30 seconds in and the brawl is on. Knobbs gets beaten down and the champs clear the ring.

Knobbs and Sullivan brawl some more. I wouldn’t expect a lot of wrestling in this match whatsoever. It breaks down again and we hear about some kind of conspiracy so Heenan makes Watergate jokes. Sullivan fights them off and slams Cactus off the top into both Nasties. We hear that Hogan is on the way so Heenan goes off on him, saying he better go get Hogan’s bags and all that so Hogan doesn’t have to.

Cactus gets a boot up in the corner and a discus lariat for two. The Nasties double team and get their first advantage over Cactus. Quickly off to Kevin who cleans some house but Sags breaks up the cover. He sends Kevin to the floor and into the barricade and Tony calls Sullivan odd. Heenan: “ODD???” Back to Cactus and a Cactus Clothesline puts him and Knobs on the outside.

Jack gets up on the apron and tries a backwards jump from the bottom rope but the Nasties move and he just crashes. How that man is alive I’ll never know. Back inside there’s some double teaming but Knobs misses a splash and Cactus makes the tag. Brian goes after Dave but Sullivan makes the save. Knobs goes back in and walks into the Double Arm DDT to keep the titles on Sullivan/Jack.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t meant to be anything more than a brawl and that’s all it needed to be. The fans were into it and everything clicked. Then some idiot decided that Jack wasn’t a good choice to be in WCW and that it was Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma that should get two title reigns before the end of the year. And people wonder why they went out of business.

Sting, the WCW International Champion, says he’ll win tonight.

Here’s a video on Big Bossman, now known as the Guardian Angel because WWF didn’t like him being called The Boss. So instead he took the gimmick of a Guardian Angel, which is something like a citizen’s police force in real life New York.

Guardian Angel vs. Tex Slazenger

Tex is Phineas Godwinn. He hits the Angel three times and Bossman counts for the hog farmer’s benefit. That’s enough I guess so Angel hits his usual stuff and the Bossman Slam (called a spike piledriver by that lunkhead Schiavone) ends this in less than two minutes.

Hogan’s motorcade gets here. Heenan makes OJ Simpson jokes because that was the hottest story in the world at that point. It was only six days before this show so the jokes are relevant here. Heenan keeps ranting as only he can do about Hulk. Hogan gets out to a pretty mixed reaction.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Larry Zbyszko

Regal said he couldn’t be beaten and laughed at Larry a lot, Larry decked him and won the title on TV. Jesse is on commentary now. Regal comes out in stereotypical British clothes including the powdered wig. Regal pounds him down to start and Larry is in trouble very early. Apparently Sherri is going to pick someone tonight, just not necessarily one of the world champions. Yeah, sure.

Regal, ever the pompous jerk, slaps Larry as he lectures him. Larry, ever the scrapper, gets all fired up and pounds him down as well. They go to the ramp for a bit but back in Regal takes him down. Larry counters a butterfly suplex into a form of a suplex for two. A regular suplex gets two. Piledriver gets two as does a swinging neckbreaker. Regal wants to throw hands and Larry is like uh, cool.

Larry blindsides him and it’s more of a brawl now. Off to a Regal chinlock but Larry reverses into a body scissors. They’re adding in enough brawling and cheating to their mat work to keep things from getting boring. Larry grabs a bearhug of all things before going off to a Boston Crab. Regal’s butler or whatever he is shoves Larry forward and Regal rolls on top, grabs the rope and gets the pin for the title.

Rating: C+. Fun match here and like I said the main thing was that they kept it interesting with the brawling instead of just the mat wrestling, which can get boring after awhile. Good stuff here and it would be Larry’s goodbye match as he didn’t have another major one until Starrcade in 1997. He was 41 when he retired, making him one of the few to get out early and on his own terms, which is always cool.

Gene hypes Bash at the Beach.

After a break, Gene is with Dustin Rhodes who has Arn Anderson with him. Dustin has been having issues with Colonel Parker’s Stud Stable and needs a partner. He picked ARN ANDERSON of all people, and amazingly enough, Anderson would turn on him before their first major match ended. Anderson says he’ll do it but it’ll be the old Anderson. That would be the old Anderson that broke Dustin’s daddy’s leg, but why not trust him right?

US Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steve Austin

Austin is champion and has been since December. Badd starts off very fast and chops away in the corner. Off to the arm work by Badd and a dropkick puts Austin on the floor. A top rope clothesline gets two. Off to a front facelock and then the arm again. Austin taps but ECW wasn’t popular yet. He gets a boot up in the corner and takes over. The crowd HATES Austin.

Badd gets fired up and a rollup gets two. And scratch that as the champ takes over again. A running dropkick puts Austin down but Johnny can’t follow up. DDT gets no cover but a SICK sound. He takes too long going up though and Austin crotches him. Badd throws Austin off but misses the top rope sunset flip which gets two for Austin. Another charge, this one by the champ, misses and Badd gets two this time. Things are getting good here. Austin gets an object from somewhere, hits Badd in the ribs and small packages him for the pin. We’ll ignore Badd’s shoulder being up.

Rating: C+. This started badly but got a lot better later on. The first part didn’t work for the most part but after that once they got going with the counters and near falls it got a lot better. The ending didn’t really work but that would get changed post match anyway, not that it really mattered. Fun match though.

Another referee comes out and they find the object. Badd rolls Austin up for a fast three (very fast) from the other referee. We’re told that we’ll hear the decision post commercial but since it’s HOGAN TIME (and yes, Hogan is the bigger deal by far) we’re not told what happened. Badd officially won by DQ.

Hogan gets a decent pop (which would be more impressive if we hadn’t seen Capetta, the ring announcer, firing up the crowd). He IMMEDIATELY brings up bodyslamming Andre and the fans aren’t all that thrilled it wouldn’t seem. When asked about the unification match, he wants a shot at the winner.

Flair pops up on the screen (drawing a pop as strong as Hogan’s if not bigger) and says he’ll win. This would be the beginning of Looney Flair.

Shaq in Hogan gear and with Hogan says Hogan is awesome. Ok then.

WCW World Title/WCW International World Title: Ric Flair vs. Sting

Flair: bigger pop than Hogan. Sting: WAY bigger pop than Hogan. Ok quick history lesson on the title issue here: as you know the NWA World Title is the famous one. Well eventually WCW had it’s own title. The NWA was incapable of being told that no one cared about them anymore, so they insisted there were two titles. Then the whole Flair walks thing happened so there were two titles for awhile.

WCW realized what everyone knew for years, which is that they didn’t need the NWA, so they dropped out. Flair officially owned the belt though, so there were two belts. The International Committee was a parody of the NWA Board. This match is a unification match and the way to finally get rid of whatever is left of the NWA in WCW. The big gold belt is the International Title here and would be the official title. Sting holds that one right now.

Sherri comes out before the match starts. She has the same face paint on that Sting has. Flair charges at Sting but the power stops him every time. Sting keeps nipping up and Flair backs off. Sting poses and Flair runs to the ramp. Back in and Flair still can’t get anything going and we get a Flair Flop on the floor. He yells at the fans as Heenan is freaking out. They keep pushing that this is a unification, which it really isn’t. The belt had been unified for years earlier but, say it with me, THE NWA IS STUPID, so they made something out of nothing here.

Flair pokes him in the eyes but tries chopping because that always works on Sting, resulting in Flair taking a bunch of clotheslines. The chops still don’t work so Flair goes for the knee, only to get rolled up for two. Flair takes another walk and Heenan’s freaking is getting hilarious. The idea is Hogan is driving Flair crazy and he’s off his game tonight.

Sting finally misses a splash in the corner and Flair is able to take over. Flair takes it to the floor quickly due to his old standard of asking the referee about the time. Flair covers with his feet on the ropes because that’s what heels do. No seriously, heels are supposed to cheat. Why don’t they do that more often? Sleeper goes on and Sting is in trouble. Sting manages to ram him into the buckle and there’s the Flair Flop.

Sting busts out the Slingshot and we get a second Flair Flop. Oh wait third. I forgot the one on the floor. Sherri cheers Sting on and he gets a suplex for a delayed two. Flair does the Flip and run the apron into a clothesline deal in the corner. Top rope superplex for Sting and he pops up and heads to the top. The big splash misses though and both guys are in trouble.

Sting no sells a regular suplex and Flair panics. He sends Flair to the floor and sets for a dive but Flair pulls Sherri in front and Sting crushes her. Back in and Sting puts Flair down again, but as he goes to check on Sherri, Slick Ric rolls him up and grabs the tights (again, that’s what heels do) and unifies the titles.

Rating: B+. Again, Sting and Flair are one of those pairings that automatically start higher than most. These two are seemingly incapable of having a bad match and they had another great one here. And then that didn’t mean anything for Sting as he went from world champion one month to being Hogan’s lackey for the next year. Flair turned into a raving lunatic and was “retired” for about six months starting in October. But hey, we got that Brutus Beefcake main event push. Who would want to see the planned Steve Austin world title reign anyway right?

Sherri gets in the ring and hugs Flair, because it was a swerve. See, THIS IS HOW A SWERVE WORKS. Sherri sacrificed herself, but the distraction from that sacrifice let Flair win the title. THAT IS HOW YOU DO A SWERVE!!! She and Flair beat down Sting post match until Hogan comes in for the save.

Hogan basically says he’s getting a title shot to close the show.

Overall Rating: B-. And with that, it ends. Not just the Clashes, but WCW’s chance to beat the WWF on their own. I’d have loved to see what they could have done without Hogan coming in. They had Austin ready to go as the top heel in the company, they had Foley mastering what would become the Attitude Era main event style, they had Steamboat around still, they had Sting to be the top face, they had an incredibly popular Flair (turned heel to avoid outpopping Hogan), they had guys like Regal, Badd and Pillman who could do whatever…and then Hogan came in.

He cleaned out the young talent or stuck them in endless midcard feuds, he ran Austin off, he made Foley into nothing (so Foley wisely bailed) and the whole place fell apart over the course of 1995 as it was ALL about Hogan. Savage came in at Starrcade 94 and was Hogan’s lackey. Nothing meant anything other than Hogan and had it not been for the Outsiders, I’m very curious as to where it would have gone. Anyway, good show and i’ve have loved to see where they could have taken things.

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Clash of the Champions 20 – Bill Watts Is A Stupid Man

Clash of the Champions #20
Date: September 2, 1992
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This is the next to last one that I have to go and it’s a theme show. This is a show dedicated to WCW being on the Superstation for 20 years. Yeah you know that whole “longest running weekly episodic show?” It’s not even close. WCW/all it’s other names was on the air on Saturday Nights at 6:05 for roughly 28 years straight. Raw hasn’t even hit 19 years yet. Even when Vince took over for a few months in the mid 80s, it was still called World Championship Wrestling. Anyway let’s get to it.

The show opens with an old clip of Andre the Giant from probably the 70s. He has an interview tonight, which was his final American appearance.

The opening video is in the form of a scrapbook with various people that used to be big stars. This is always cool to see.

Tony and Missy are outside like they’re at a red carpet. Gordon Solie is here too and hello Andre in Princess Bride attire. Ron Simmons, the world champion, arrives. Now Bill Watts gets here. He’s followed by….HANK AARON??? I know he’s around every now and then but it’s still cool to see him. Bill Shaw, the legit president of WCW (who had no idea how wrestling worked) is here too. Jim Barnett, a promoter, is here, as is Bob Dhue (another legit boss) and BRUNO SAMMARTINO!!! He kind of bashes WWF by saying that he’s glad to be in a real wrestling company. Sting arrives on a motorcycle.

We go inside now and Robb Pitts, an Atlanta City Councilman, gives Bill Watts a proclamation. The Assassin in his mask in the background is an amusing sight. Dusty pops up and says some catchphrases. Assassin, Thunderbolt Patterson and Magnum TA are here too.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

Austin is champion. This is the leftovers of the Dangerous Alliance angle which should have gone on at least another year but hey, it’s WCW so why let things go well? Austin is mentioned as a member of it here but I’d have thought it was long gone by then. The national anthem is sung after their entrances. It’s done by an 11 year old and Johnny B. Badd. That’s an odd combination. Oh ok he’s just walking her there.

This is no DQ, which means moves off the top are allowed. Also, Dangerously will be in a cage outside the ring. Steamboat also has bad ribs. Austin goes right for them but it’s mainly striking to get us going. Ricky grabs a headlock to take over and they go to the mat. The cage is now up in the air. Also you can vote on whether or not the top rope moves should be banned or not.

Still in the headlock and Austin taps but it doesn’t mean anything yet. Austin escapes and goes right for the ribs with a hiptoss and elbow drop. See how easy it is? Back to the headlock by Ricky as they’re kind of filling time here. They go to the corner and Austin steps onto the bottom rope with Steamboat on the middle rope, kind of like for a really low level belly to belly superplex. However, instead of that he throws Steamboat forward over his head so that Steamboat lands face first and ribs first on the mat. Cool move.

Steamboat can’t do much now due to the ribs so Austin locks on an abdominal stretch. Ricky starts his comeback and a middle rope cross body gets two. Austin takes a slingshot into the buckle for two. A tombstone gets two and the crowd is getting way into this. Austin gets two on a rollup with tights. Ricky blocks a superplex but jumps into a punch to the ribs. Shoulder block gets two for Ricky. He skins the cat but a BIG elbow sends him to the floor. In a sweet move, Steamboat slips under the ring and comes out the other side for the top rope cross body for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. I liked this one a lot and they got the crowd into this. When a crowd of 500 people can be heard that clearly you can tell you’ve got something good going. It helps when you have this kind of talent out there. This would be a bigger feud in the next few years and over a bigger title as well, which is the idea. Then Steamboat got injured and someone decided that Austin wasn’t marketable. Idiots.

Here are some clips from the old days, in this case from Mr. Wrestling #2.

We get a video on some of the great tag teams that have competed here on TBS. We see stuff from the Assassins, the Briscoes, the Freebirds (probably from the 70s), the Road Warriors and the Rock N Roll Express. These are just like 20 second clips so there isn’t anything to say here. Roddy Piper is on commentary in the Warriors clips and sounds BOMBED.

Video on Halloween Havoc 1992.

Michael Hayes tells Terry Gordy (not seen) that his men Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton (seen) will kill him.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton vs. Dick Slater/Greg Valentine

Arn and Valentine start us off. Slater and Valentine clear the ring and it breaks down very quickly. We get to Slater and Eaton with Slater in control. A Russian legsweep and feet on the ropes get two. This is heel vs. heel. Off to Anderson who gets caught in the corner and double teamed. This isn’t really working and I have no idea why they’re going heel vs. heel here. Slater works on Arn’s leg and Valentine hooks a Figure Four which Eaton breaks up. Spinebuster gets two on Greg and it breaks down again. Larry Zbyszko comes out and hits Greg with a cast by mistake and a middle rope Alabama Jam ends this.

Rating: D+. What an odd match. Having four heels (and good ones at that) out there made this into an “I can out heel you” contest which isn’t something I recall seeing. The problem is you’re not going to get anyone cheered out there and I really don’t get the point of it. Just an odd choice.

Bruno Sammartino has an interview and flat out says that he’s glad to be back in a real wrestling organization, unlike that other place he’s been with for the last ten years.

Teddy Long is in the VIP Room and instead of talking to Gordon Solie or Andre, he picks Bob Armstrong. They just didn’t get it at times. Now let’s talk to Thunderbolt Patterson. Dude, ANDRE THE GIANT IS SITTING NEXT TO YOU. Patterson actually says he’s glad to be alive to be here.

We get a quick statement from Mr. Wrestling #2 from Hawaii.

Ted Turner thanks us for 20 years. You have to give him this: he stuck with them as long as he could.

Bill Watts vacates the Light Heavyweight Title due to champion Brad Armstrong being injured. A tournament is promised but it never came. We go to Brad on a crutch who says he’s disappointed because he has to step down. He thinks he’s a failure and Brian Pillman, the opponent for later, comes out. He says it’s a disgrace because he’s supposed to get the title back but Armstrong is claiming an injury. Armstrong’s dad should be ashamed of him and Brad doesn’t know what to say. Pillman slaps him, officially turning heel.

Here’s a singles version of the same kind of montage we saw earlier for the tag teams. Way too many to name here but if they’re a big name they’re here. There are a lot of smaller named guys too. It sounds like it’s set to the Sting music when he came out at Starrcade 97.

Video on Ron Simmons, the WCW World Champion.

WCW World Title: Cactus Jack vs. Ron Simmons

Dig that old Doom music! Ole Anderson is referee here for no apparent reason. This is power vs. brawling of course so Ron tries to wear Jack down. Jack actually speeds things up and hits a flying headbutt to take over. Out to the floor and Ron is like yeah go ahead and jump. Back in and Cactus takes over using his evil ways. Simmons pounds him down in the corner but he charges into a punch.

Cactus Clothesline and they go to the floor. Swinging neckbreaker out there puts Simmons down and they go back in. Three clotheslines get a two count for Jack and it’s off to the chinlock. They trade headbutts and down goes Jack. Two three point shoulder blocks take Jack down again. Back to the floor and Cactus manages to drop his apron elbow to the floor which is one of his major moves. And Simmons is up again in like 4 seconds. Back in the ring, Simmons hits the spinebuster and powerslam to retain. Literally after the elbow, Jack had zero offense and the match was over 20 seconds later.

Rating: D+. I don’t get that ending at all. This was a pretty major feud for awhile, including Jack managing I believe Barbarian for the world title match at Starrcade. The rest of that match wasn’t anything of note either as Ron was pretty much like “yeah keep hitting me.” Really strange match, which is kind of a theme for the last two of them.

Masahiro Chono won a tournament in Japan to win the NWA World Title over Rick Rude. This would result in Chono and Muta getting time on WCW TV, because the NWA thought people cared. We get some clips of the match which looks pretty good.

Rude issues a challenge to Chono for a rematch.

Cactus Jack says he’s in pain but he has someone to help Barbarian and this someone knows Simmons very well. It’s Butch Reed.

Butch Reed/Barbarian vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

Jack is on commentary here. Barbarian starts with Rhodes. The Texans cheat and fire off a bunch of double dropkicks to clear the ring. Barbarian is an interesting guy as he always had jobs. Think about it: he was around in the mid 80s, then got a pretty long run in WWF then this quick WCW run then he went back to WWF for a few months then was in WCW for the Faces of Fear. That’s pretty impressive for someone that was never anything more than a lower midcard guy.

Reed gets pounded on in the corner but Dustin misses a charge and falls to the corner. Cactus’ evil laugh is downright CREEPY. The monsters lure Windham in and double team Dustin some more. Cactus: “You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can fool Barry Windham all of the time.” It’s funnier when he says it. A clothesline puts Rhodes down and Reed pounds away on him.

Off to Barbarian who beats on Dustin even more. Standard tag team formula here and that’s perfectly fine. It still works so why mess with it? Reed comes in for a reverse chinlock as Jack says he’s playing a part in a plan but won’t elaborate on it. I don’t think that ever went anywhere. Dustin manages to get a clothesline but takes one of his own. There’s the double tag Windham comes in and speeds things up. He hits the superplex on Barbarian but goes to stop Reed instead. Everything breaks down and Barbarian kicks Barry’s head off for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine. Barry and Dustin would go on to win the tag titles (the WCW versions, not the NWA titles, meaning that the team they beat still had tag titles because the NWA is stupid) in about a month. Barbarian and Reed would help Jack against Simmons then just kind of fade away.

Jack tells Simmons to be ready.

Here’s a video on the main event. It’s a Survivor Series style match with Sting captaining the Steiners/Nikita Koloff vs. Vader/Jake Roberts/Rude/Super Invader. Sting and Vader are obvious, Jake came in to feud with Sting as a HUGE signing that went nowhere. Koloff is feuding with Rude over the US Title, and the Steiners are Sting’s friends. Super Invader is Hercules of all people under a mask. He’s Harley Race’s goon so there are your eight men.

Sting/Nikita Koloff/Steiner Brothers vs. Rick Rude/Super Invader/Jake Roberts/Big Van Vader

Remember, elimination rules. Hercules is HUGE here as he must be on the good steroids. Rick vs. Vader gets us going. Vader pounds him down as only he can but walks into a SWEET belly to belly. Off to Koloff vs. Invader now. Invadercules takes him down and it’s off to Rude for our first rivalry pairing. Scott comes in as does Invader. No one has really stayed in long enough to get anything going other than the opening pairing.

Scott calls for the Frankensteiner but Rude makes a blind tag and takes Scott down before the Frankensteiner can hit. Roberts comes in to do nothing so it’s off to Vader who pounds Scott down in the corner. He whips Scott in and Jake isn’t paying attention so he gets knocked to the floor. Scott grabs a tilt-a-whirl on Rude, setting up double tags to Roberts and Koloff.

Nikita beats up everyone but Rude knees him in the back, allowing Jake to roll him up for a 4-3 advantage. Off to Sting vs. Invader and that kind of bulldog move that Sting does ties it up. Vader comes in to fight Sting but Sting tags out to Rick. There’s a BIG suplex to Vader. I could watch the Steiners throw people around all day. Rick goes up but jumps into a powerslam. That’s scary power. Vader just held him for awhile because he could. A middle rope splash only gets two. The crowd is way into this.

Off to Rude who puts on a front facelock. Rick powers to the corner but Jake came in for a distraction so the tag doesn’t count. Back to Vader who jumps off the rope but also gets caught in a powerslam by Rick. The Steiners try a Doomsday Device but Rick can’t hold him so it’s more like a regular top rope clothesline. But wait, since Bill Watts is REALLY FREAKING STUPID, that means Scott is disqualified.

Rick and Vader go to the floor and Rick backdrops him out there. Rick Rude comes over and hits the Rude Awakening on Steiner and only Vader beats the count back in. That makes it Sting vs. Roberts/Rude/Vader. He gets Roberts first and there’s the Splash but Rude breaks up the Deathlock attempt. Sting does what he can but he’s still against three guys. The bulldog gets two on Rude. He hits a slingshot suplex but Vader comes off the top with a splash on both guys for no apparent reason, drawing his own DQ. Jake pulls Rude over for a tag and Jake easily DDTs Sting for the winning pin.

Rating: D+. Bill Watts is really stupid. The problem with the top rope thing is it completely takes away the excitement that you can get from things like that. Watts wanted an old school, mat based style which is why he pushed the Miracle Violence Connection so hard. The problem with that is NO ONE ELSE LIKES IT. But who cares about something like that right? I mean, it’s TRADITION AND THE NWA BABY!!! The match was nothing special and was pretty dull due to the people being eliminated through such stupid means.

We hear the results of the poll about the top rope being reinstated: 88% want moves off the top to be legal again. Think that happened? Of course not.

JR says we’ll take a special look at Halloween Havoc, but it’s the same commercial we’ve seen three times already. Oh wait this has some extra stuff in it. Well at least it’s different. This announces that it’ll be Jake vs. Sting in Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal, which is WCW’s version of Raw Roulette. Naturally they didn’t rig the wheel so they got a Coal Miner’s Glove match, which was AWFUL. The announcement is in the form of a REALLY badly acted skit in I think a bar or something where Jake challenges him.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show. The set looking exactly the same as WCW Saturday Night (it was on the same set) gave this a really weird dynamic. It’s not bad or anything but it felt more like a special edition of Saturday Night rather than a big time show. It did some setting up of Havoc but not much really. Oh and before I forget: Scott Steiner would win the TV Title shortly after this and would tease turning heel, but the Steiners would be in the WWF before Christmas.

 

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Clash of the Champions 13 – The Worst Kind Of Show

Clash of the Champions #13: Thanksgiving Thunder
Date: November 20, 1990
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.




Clash of the Champions #24 – THE SHOCKMASTER SHOW!

Clash of the Champions 24
Date: August 18, 1993
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,903
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

Since I only have six of these to go in total, I think it’s time for an old fashioned marathon. I’ll knock these out as fast as I can so I’ll finally be done with this series. It’s only taken me a few years so we might as well get it done. This is from late 93 which is about as awful as WCW ever got, if you can possibly fathom that. The main event is Vader vs. Davey Boy for the title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about a Flair For The Gold with the WarG……..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh we’ve got something VERY special coming up later on. You just wait.

Brian Pillman is injured so Steven (William) Regal is replacing him in the tag title defense.

Tag Titles: Steven Regal/Steve Austin vs. Arn Anderson/Paul Roma

Anderson vs. Austin to start. Arn’s white trunks seem to grow every year. Austin pounds him down as Jesse complains about Regal being part of the blondes now. The Horsemen take over to the audience’s delight. Austin gets launched over the top but it’s momentum or whatever. How does that even work? YOU THREW HIM OVER, so why isn’t it a DQ? They brawl to the floor for a bit and Austin brings Regal back in.

Roma, the biggest excuse ever for a Horsemen, and that includes Mongo, comes in and works on Regal’s arm. He speeds things up but Austin trips Roma (who looks a lot like Ricky Steamboat in the long white tights) to give the champs the advantage. Both guys take turns on Roma as this is going nowhere. Austin goes into the buckle but Roma doesn’t tag because he’s an idiot.

Austin gets him into the corner so Anderson, allegedly the best tag wrestler ever, tries to come in. Roma gets the required rollup but there’s no referee of course. Roma hits Austin’s Stun Gun and both guys are down. Regal breaks up a tag and we get the “face makes a tag but it doesn’t count so the heels change without one and it does count” deal. Roma gets a dropkick and there’s the tag to Anderson. The place ERUPTS too. Everything breaks down and a miscue by Regal’s manager lets Arn grab a rollup for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This was already better than any match on the previous Clash. Austin would go on and start a US Title feud in a few months while the Horsemen faded away. This was during the Disney Tapings era, so the Nasty Boys had already been filmed as champions. The titles would change at Fall Brawl, which is another reason why this was an awful time for the company. They would tape MONTHS worth of shows in advance and that was it. All the mystery was gone and no one gave an effort because of it, which is stupid. Imagine if that had happened to Punk in 2011.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Bobby Eaton

This should be SWEET. On top of that we get the Midnight Express theme. Scorpio is one of my old favorites and he’s young and awesome at this point. Eaton is heel here I guess. Scorpio gets a nice spinning sunset flip for two but Eaton clotheslines him down. Scorpio runs the corner and hits a top rope cross body and grabs an armbar. A regular cross body misses and Bobby takes over.

Eaton hooks a hammerlock down onto the mat. This hasn’t exactly been the high flying spectacle I was expecting. Even Jesse points out that this isn’t what he expected. Scorpio counters and sets him into a superplex position. Instead of using that though, while standing on the top he jumps up and dropkicks Eaton to the floor and adds a plancha. Cool sequence. Eaton hits a neckbreaker back inside to take over. Top rope elbow (why not the Alabama Jam?) gets two. And never mind as Scorpio takes him down and the 450 (called a 360 by Tony) sends both knees into Eaton’s chest for the pin.

Rating: C. I love Scorpio so I’m not going to complain much about this. Good match I guess but they didn’t really hit a level that I was expecting. To be fair though Eaton was just a jobber to the stars and the match wasn’t bad or anything. Just kind of disappointing I guess. Scorpio would get a two week tag title reign later in the year.

Max Payne vs. Johnny B. Badd

Payne stole the Badd Blaster (a confetti cannon) and shot Badd in the face with it so Badd’s face is burned and he’s wearing a mask. This is mask vs. Norma Jean, which is what Max calls his guitar. Max jumps him and drops an elbow into the boas. Jesse: “Right into the boas Tony!” Johnny fires back with punches but the cross body is ducked. This is power vs. speed.

Payne rips off the mask but Badd is wearing another one. Tony’s total lack of shock kills the surprise. There’s a hammerlock slam which is supposed to set up his Fujiwara Armbar finisher but Badd escapes with a small package. Well he did say he used steroids didn’t he? Payne misses a middle rope splash and Badd steals the pin. Well that was nothing. Too short to rate.

Badd says he’s going to unmask on Saturday Night. He’d look the same.

It’s time for A Flair For The Gold, which is Flair’s talk show. THIS IS IT!!! This has an actual set which looks like a living room. Flair comes in through the door and has Fifi his French maid walk around a bit. He brings out his guests, Sting and the British Bulldog. They’re here to talk about WarGames and the place is WAY into this. Flair was a face at this point and was as popular as he’d been in the 90s.

Sid and Harlem Heat, three of the four opponents for WarGames show up. They want to know who the mystery partner is. Sting says the line of “prepare to be shocked, because our partner is none other than THE SHOCKMASTER!”

And here it is: the absolute dumbest, stupidest, worst and completely lowest point for WCW. An explosion goes off (remember this is LIVE) and a wall bursts open. Shockmaster falls over part of the wall, knocking off his glittery Stormtrooper helmet. He tries as hard as he can to put it back on (after revealing to anyone paying attention that he’s Tugboat/Typhoon from WWF, making him a total failure anyway) and finally gets back on his feet.

The whole segment is a total joke now as the fans don’t know what to make of this. Bulldog and Harlem Heat are dying of laughter and try to hide it but you can here the covered laughter very clearly. Shockmaster finally gets it together and with Ole Anderson providing the voice, he says Sid has ruled the world long enough and asks if Sid wants a piece of him. Now keep in mind the voice: he sounds like a cross between a really bad Power Rangers villain and the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin. On top of that, he says Dusty Rhodes will be on their team in WarGames. It would actually be DUSTIN, not Dusty. And it’s over.

I mean WOW. What people seem to overlook is how bad this was going to be no matter what. Answer this: what exactly is a Shockmaster? It sounds like a static electricity prevention thing you would see in a store labeled As Seen On TV. Second, it’s Fred Ottman under the mask. When did anyone ever see the “Sailing Superstar” and think this guy deserved a huge push? Third, it’s a glitter covered Star Wars helmet. Just add all this up and think about how bad it would have been WITHOUT the famous part. Now add that in and look at what you have. My goodness it’s amazing that they stayed in business.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff is champion. Tony and Jesse crack up laughing about what we just saw. This gets big match intros too. Interesting trivia note: the TV Title is the belt that would become the Cruiserweight Title but with a different nameplate. And there go the lights. It looks like a late 80s show now with most of the crowd being covered in darkness. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a top wristlock. Steamboat bridges out of it and that looked AWESOME.

Steamboat misses a dive and lands on the ramp where Paul takes over. A top rope elbow to the head gets two. A slam gets a bunch of two counts and it’s the second chinlock of the match so far. We hear about Flair vs. Sting for the NWA Title this coming Saturday night which is almost an afterthought here. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and a top rope chop gets two, as does a regular one.

A big chop sends Orndorff to the floor but again it’s not a DQ. Steamboat busts out a huge dive which gets a nice reaction. Ten years later it would have gotten a huge pop. Orndorff tries a bunch of covers and Jesse hands him the TV Title for some reason. He drops it and tries the piledriver but Steamboat reverses and here’s a sweet pinfall reversal sequence. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two. Orndorff tries to slam Steamboat and apparently he never watched Mania III because in the same ending, Steamboat rolls through into a cradle for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Eh not bad here but slower paced than most would like. It could have been a lot worse though, which is the right idea. Steamboat was in the role of veteran that people really respected and could still pull out a good match when asked to, namely due to pure raw talent. Good match but nothing great. At least it got the title off Orndorff though.

Orndorff piledrives him on the belt on the ramp post match.

Harley Race and the Kongs (two very fat guys in masks who were worthless) say that they’re coming for Flair and Sting.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Colossal Kongs

Sting clears house on his own, easily slamming both guys like it’s nothing. Race freaks out, shouting about how it’s impossible. It’s a big brawl and Flair goes to the floor with one of them. Sting casually beats one of them up, hits the Stinger Splash and a top rope splash for the pin as Flair beats up Race. Total and complete domination.

Sting and Flair say they’ll renew their feud on Saturday for the title.

Rick Rude/The Equalizer vs. Dustin Rhodes/???

It’s a mystery partner. This feud has gone on for about 5 months now and has yet to get interesting. It’s mainly Rude vs. Rhodes but Rude brought in the Equalizer to equalize things. He’s more famous as Dave Evad Sullivan and is AWFUL. Rhodes’ partner is going to come out in some car that the fans can win. And it’s Road Warrior Animal. Rude panics and yells at him as Hawk comes up from behind. He’s the real partner. Not exactly a point to the switch but whatever.

The fans are fired up and it’s Hawk vs. Rude to start us off. They go to a test of strength which Hawk easily wins. Off to Equalizer who gets dropkicked to the floor almost immediately. Hawk tries his neckbreaker and Equalizer falls down, drawing some laughter from the crowd. Rude comes back in and we hit the chinlock but Hawk counters into an electric chair position for a Doomsday Device with Dustin playing Hawk.

Rude beats Dustin down and swivels at Hawk. Some heel miscommunication allows the tag to Hawk and it doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Hawk launches Rude at Equalizer and everything breaks down. As the referee is putting Rude out, Equalizer goes to slam Dustin. Hawk comes off the top to shoulder block both of them down and Dustin gets the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get what Hawk adds to anything here. To be fair though, it’s not like he ever meant anything after about 1991 anyway. Not a terrible match but they needed something more interesting than Dustin vs. Rude. The US Title would FINALLY go to Dustin soon after this.

WCW World Title: Davey Boy Smith vs. Vader

Buffer says the DQ rule is waved, but doesn’t mention that he means if Vader gets disqualified he loses the title. Also note that this is the WCW Title and not the NWA World Title. They would be unified next year thank goodness. Race is Vader’s manager. After a break they get into it on the ramp with Bulldog being clotheslined down. Smith shows off INSANE power with a delayed vertical out there.

We go back into the ring but Smith’s slingshot splash gets knees. They go to the floor quickly and Vader accidentally splashes the railing ala Sting. A slam gets two back inside. Vader slows things down and goes after the knee. Samoan Drop puts Smith down and a moonsault misses. Smith gets a sunset flip for two. A splash onto the back puts Smith down and he’s in trouble.

Time for a chinlock to eat up a few moments. Davey manages to come back and hooks a crucifix, which was one of his finishers but it only gets two here. Vader pounds him down in the corner and goes up again, only to get crotched. Back inside it’s Davey’s turn to pound him down. Vader gets in a boot though and the Vader Bomb gets two. The champ comes off the top but jumps into the powerslam, knocking down the referee in the process. Smith tries another powerslam but Race pulls the leg and Vader falls on top for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent power match but I wasn’t thrilled with it. Smith’s style wasn’t all that great to mesh with Vader’s. It took someone with more speed or just an all out brawler for that to work, and it really didn’t click here. Still though, this was a decent main event, but the lack of star power really hurt things.

Cactus Jack makes his return with 15 seconds left and takes Vader down. The reaction is there but the time isn’t so we’re done.

Overall Rating: D. Not their best work but you have a classic comedy moment to check out so it’s worth something for that. This era was just awful for the company but brighter days were coming soon. The problem in short was that the stories just weren’t interesting and the two titles were a bad idea at this point. To be fair though, a lot of that can be blamed on the NWA. Not the worst show ever, but other than Shockmaster it’s not worth watching.

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Clash of the Champions #5: St Valentine’s Day Massacre – Worst. Clash. Ever.

Clash of the Champions 5: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
Date: February 15, 1989
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Magnum TA

I was going to do a WCW Saturday Night but it was partially cut off so I took it off my list and you get this instead. This is a buildup show to Chi-Town Rumble which means that other than the world title match, there isn’t much to build up to. The main event is for the six man titles, which actually did exist.  There’s probably a reason you’re not familiar with them though.  Let’s get to it.

Steamboat is ready for tonight.

Magnum and Jim talk about the US Tag Title match, which is under Freebird Rules. The main event is Sting/JYD/Michael Hayes vs. the LOD/Tenryu for the six man titles.

Midnight Express vs. Russian Assassins

We hear the director tell the announcer to talk. The Russians combine to weigh 288lbs. I don’t think that’s correct. If nothing else we get to hear the Express’ music which is still awesome. Lane starts with let’s say #1. One of them is Jack Victory and the other is Angel of Death. JR says that Russian #1 weighs 330lbs, kind of disproving the combined 288. Lane fires off his kicks and it’s quickly off to Bobby for some arm work.

And here’s a random kid in the crowd wearing sunglasses. The cameramen in this era had some odd tendencies to jump around like that. Off to Lane vs. #2 and we look at more fans. Bobby is already back in and they’re tagging very fast. Lane is back in and we get an inset promo from Paul E about the Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express match on Monday at the PPV.

Bobby escapes the heel corner and Paul jumps in on commentary. Well in theory he does as JR introduced him but there’s no Dangerously. Cornette and the Russian manager Paul Jones almost get into a fight. Ok now Dangerously is here. He talks about his game plan which is to speed things up. Cornette BLASTS an Assassin with the tennis racket and dances a bit.

Lane beats up #2 and the Assassins hit the floor for a powwow. They switch on the floor because they’re Russians and therefore evil. Lane is playing Ricky Morton here which is ironic if nothing else. Off to a bearhug by let’s say #1. #2 comes in and hooks a snap suplex and a bearhug of his own. Why is that such a Russian move? The Assassin looks like he’s resting his head on Lane’s chest.

Stan escapes and misses something that looked like a front flip attack into the corner. Cross body gets one on the Assassin. The other one comes in as Lane stays on defense. A Russian misses something and everything breaks down. There’s the tag to Eaton and he manages to hit the Rocket Launcher for the pin on we’ll say #2.

Rating: D+. Long and not all that good. The Midnigts were awesome but this wasn’t their best year. The match was a bit longer than they needed, but this is a two and a half hour show so they needed to fill in the time somehow. That would become very evil in the next match. Be afraid as well as warned.

Ricky Steamboat says he’s back in the NWA to fight for America and the family way against bad stuff like drugs. O…..k. He’s having a tuneup match tonight. We get a clip from a Flair vs. Steamboat brawl. Steamboat wins and rips Flair’s clothes off.

Steven Casey vs. Butch Reed

Casey is an NWA career jobber that never did anything. Reed appears to be popular here but I don’t remember him ever being a face. Casey takes over to start with some speed stuff and hooks an armbar. While he does let it go a bit, he goes back to it over and over again. After about two minutes it’s broken and let’s look at the crowd. Reed stalls and here’s another fan. Then Reed stalls again. Now Reed works on the arm to mix things up a bit.

Casey is undefeated. Good for him. Now he reverses into an armbar of his own. This is looking like a LONG one people. Reed fights up, gets punched down, and it’s an armbar again. Butch goes to the floor and now it’s time for a test of strength. Casey, a blonde idiot, accepts the challenge against a guy who was billed as one of the strongest in the NWA. Casey goes down but eventually counters into, you guessed it, the armbar.

Ok this is something I talk about a lot but usually the opposite. There are a lot of people that work on limbs because it’s a very basic psychology move. The key thing though is that interesting guys mix up their attacks. Casey, a guy that had about two matches in his televised career that people can find, both of which are loses to bigger names on COTCs, is doing the same thing over and over again and it’s REALLY boring. It’s so simple yet a lot of people don’t get it.

Reed pounds him down and here’s a chinlock for some excitement. Casey gets up (finally) and tries to speed things up but he gets sent to the floor to slow things down again. A dropkick by Casey misses so let’s look at the fans again….AND BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. Reed puts a foot on the rope (the bottom one) but it doesn’t really add anything here. This is supposed to be building up Reed for Sting at the PPV. I really don’t want to see that match now so that’s a failure so far.

Casey fights back and even his punches in the corner are boring. A monkey flip puts Reed down and there are a pair of dropkicks. Reed grabs a gorilla press and again he slows things down. Dude, JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY. And then he finally does with a top rope shoulder block for the pin at SEVENTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES. I’ve seen world title matches at Wrestlemania that didn’t go that long!

Rating: S. Seventeen and a half minutes for what can only be called a squash. Seriously, that’s what this was. Casey was a jobber (arguably to the stars) and he got almost twenty minutes to get beaten up by Reed. You know, other than those times where he unleashed the power of the armbar. Just awful and let this be a lesson to you: just because a match goes long, it does NOT mean it was good.

Here’s Flair and the army of women. He talks about how he’ll keep the title because he’s the champ and gets whatever he wants. Flair is in a fur coat and has the girls show off a bit. It’s the best thing going today don’t you know. He calls out Steamboat (sign of the times: you can barely understand him because the equipment isn’t that great) and here he is. Flair shows off the women and makes fun of Steamboat for being with the same woman every night.

Steamboat says he despises everything that Flair stands for and how he represents the NWA. Flair brags about all of his stuff like his suit and coat. Flair says go home and help the wife with the dishes and it’s on. Steamboat rips the clothes off again as Bob Caudle just kind of stands around. Why does Flair always wind up in just his underwear? Is it a running rib that I just don’t get? This eats up a few minutes. Hiro Matsuda, Flair’s manager, helps but Steamboat fights them off and they brawl into the crowd. Man those are loud chops. Steamboat wins and puts on Flair’s suit.

Lex Luger vs. The Blackmailer

It’s Jack Victory in another mask. Luger gets a US Title shot at the PPV and get it for the second time. That isn’t his huge 19 month reign though. He would lose the belt and win it back 15 days later. Can you tell I’m trying to fill space before we get to this? Is the Blackmailer really the best name they can come up with? Doesn’t he need to have blackmail on someone for that whole idea to work? Luger throws him around with raw power to start and here’s a fan. Seriously, what is the deal with that?

They exchange headlocks and Lex looks bored. A shoulder puts Blackmailer on the floor. Matsuda is here as well to try to scout Luger or something. Belly to belly takes down Luger but he pops right back up. For a change of pace, here’s a headlock on the mat. Powerslam puts Blackmailer down. This is just DRAGGING. Back to the headlock instead of a cover or going for a finish.

Lex gets clotheslined to the floor and this is done. I don’t mean it’s a DQ but this is just not going to recover and the show is officially done. There’s nothing left they can do to get a show out of it worth anything. Naturally, we have almost an hour to go. Blackmailer stomps him off the apron and MY GOODNESS JUST GET TO THE ENDING ALREADY!!! A sunset flip for Lex gets two and Blackmailer beats him down again.

Time for MORE CHINLOCKS. I know Victory has already had a nearly 15 minute tag match and now this but hey, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMEONE ELSE TO BE IN THIS MATCH. Lex finally fights out of it with a suplex and Hulks Up. After hitting basic power stuff, Barry Windham’s (the US Champion) superplex gets the pin.

Rating: F. I just got done watching my Cowboys lose to the Giants and now I get to see this? This was another thirteen minutes of this show that just will not go away and die like it needs to do. There’s just nothing here at all and the show should have ended a few hours ago, but here it is, still going.

Rick Steiner, who is a bit crazy and TV Champion, talks about his rematch with Rotundo at the PPV. Alex, a face drawn on his hand, will have his back.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Williams and Sullivan are the champions but Rotundo is taking Sullivan’s place because he can. I’ve always liked the Fantastics so maybe this can get things going a tiny bit. Rotundo vs. Rodgers to start us off. And now let’s stall a lot. Here are more fans for those of you watching for them. Rotundo rides him on the mat for awhile and we hear that the Varsity Club wants to win by submission. Ok then.

Rodgers grabs a headlock and a clothesline gets two. Off to Williams who as I’ve explained is kind of the Brock Lesnar of his day. The Fantastics double team him with a double dropkick until it’s off to just Fulton. Williams easily takes him to the mat and hooks a chinlock, the move of the night. Rick Steiner in an inset interview says that he’ll be ready for Rotundo in Chicago. Steiner would lose the title, but he’d start a little tag team to fill in his time after that.

Back to….the fans. Rotundo is back in…and never mind he’s back out again. Rodgers’ dropkick is no sold and Williams mauls him a bit. Fulton pounds on Rotundo in the corner a bit but Williams shoves him to the floor. We get the classic referee misses the tag spot so Williams can keep beating on him even more. Williams does his always awesome gorilla press spot, where he lifts Fulton up a bunch of times in a row.

Oklahoma Stampede, Williams’ running powerslam out of the corner, is blocked and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. He hits a middle rope fist and Williams is in a little bit of trouble. Everything breaks down and Fulton comes back in illegally. Rodgers hits a top rope cross body but Rotundo gets in a shot to the back of Rodgers for the cheating pin.

Rating: D. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far and even it was pretty bad. The Fantastics were in over their heads will Williams who was just a machine at this point. The Club was almost done at this point but they were still a pretty solid force. Anyway though, not much here, although way better than anything else on the show up to this point.

Bob Bradley vs. Ricky Steamboat

Bradley is only somewhat known as Battle Kat from WWF. He was a weird flying guy but really bad and in a mask that would make a six year old’s work look great by comparison. Ricky’s wife and kid are here with him so I wonder how it’ll go. Steamboat knocks him to the floor with his chops and punches but Bradley gets a few slams to take over. The fans want Flair.

Bradley goes to the floor and gets in some more shots. This is going NOWHERE at all. Bradley is nothing new at all and is as generic as they come. He goes into the middle buckle and it’s off to the armbar. Here’s a not very good looking blonde in the crowd. She has nothing to do with this but we see her anyway. After a bunch of armbars, Bradley misses a top rope splash and the top rope cross body ends this.

Rating: D. Another dull match that was just another squash but at least this one was only a few minutes long as opposed to going on forever. Flair of course would win the title from Flair on Monday, but would only hold the belt for about two and a half months. That’s often forgotten: he barely had the title for long at all before Flair got it back.

Rip Morgan vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is the TV Champion but this is non-title. Morgan’s thing is he’s from New Zealand and he used to work for the Sheepherders. Both guys are insane so this is going to be, uh, different. Rotundo says he was embarrassed by Steiner but he’ll get the title back on Monday. That’s true. Morgan pounds away to start but Steiner drills him to take over. And now let’s stall.

Morgan takes his time getting back inside the ring and fires off some knees in the corner. They ram heads and Rick loses some more. A powerslam by Steiner gets two. JR tells us AGAIN that this company has been around since 1905 and we wrestle here. First of all, it was 1948. Second of all, WHAT ELSE WOULD THIS BE??? THE COMPANY IS THE NATIONAL WRESTLING ALLIANCE. WERE YOU EXPECTING A BOWLING TOURNAMENT??? Morgan hooks a chinlock but misses a splash. Steiner fights back with basic stuff and the belly to belly ends this.

Rating: D. I know I’ve used that a lot, but my goodness this has been horrible. This show has just gone on and on and on. This was the shortest match of the night, running only about 5 minutes, but it was still another dull match that doesn’t make me want to see the matches on Monday or anything like that. At least it’s over soon.

The Six Man Title challengers are very fired up and all of them (two of them former Mid-South guys) say they’ll win. They go into a caged area and Kevin Sullivan pops up to lock them in.

Since they’re still caged in and no one in Cleveland have bolt cutters, here are the replacements.

Six Man Tag Titles: Road Warriors/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Varsity Club

Yep it’s a bait and switch main event. Big brawl to start and for some reason they’re on a wide shot. Oh ok so it’s we can watch the original challengers try to get out of the caged stairs. Everyone in this is a heel. Well in theory that is. No one knows Tenryu and and the Warriors are still popular anyway. Tenryu gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Williams vs. Hawk.

We’re literally on our 5th shot of the three guys trying to get out. Oh hey they did. Animal gets his arm worked on for a long time as the other three (Hayes/JYD/Sting if you’ve forgotten) aren’t here yet. Hawk’s tag isn’t seen and I have no idea if they’re good guys or bad guys. The original challengers FINALLY get here and it’s thrown out.

Rating: F. No point, no thought, no caring from me.

A huge brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show ran two and a half hours. You could pretty easily have fit everything into about 40% of that and it would have been fine. I’ve watched about 30 Clashes now and this is BY FAR the worst one. There’s no point in most of this and these matches didn’t make me want to watch Chi-Town Rumble at all. It was a good show too, which makes this show all the worse. Absolutely horrible show and I need a stiff drink.

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