Survivor Series 1989
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

We’re at a major changing point with this show, as we now have four man teams and five full matches, instead of the previous years with four matches. The matches are shorter now, but there are some kind of head scratching booking choices here. We do however get the greatest Survivor Series team ever on this show though, so we have that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Also stay tuned after the end for a special BONUS MATCH REVIEW!

We open with a video shot from a car going up to the arena, going through the doors, at the souvenir stands (12.99 for a shirt. Today that might get you a sleeve) and now it’s time for opening show promos.

Hogan is thankful for time with his family and to be the strongest force in the universe. And for his team.

DiBiase is glad he’s rich.

Jake likes his snake and the DDT.

Demolition is glad they don’t have to fight each other.

Savage is glad he’s the Macho King.

Duggan is proud to be an American.

Bravo is glad Earthquake is on his side.

Dusty is thankful for his polka dots.

Beefcake for cutting hair.

Martel for his looks.

Rude for his body.

Piper because he’s not Ricky Rude. Burn.

Genius for being the smartest man in the world.

Perfect for being his name.

The Bushwackers for sardine stuffing.

Heenan for being surrounded by the Heenan Family.

Warrior should be thankful that Ritalin is soon to be available.

We run down the cards with those nifty squares.

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster
Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man

This is mainly over Dusty vs. Bossman which is Dusty’s first big feud in the company. Dusty stole the nightstick and the hat which has ticked Bossman off. The rest of the guys are there because it’s Survivor Series and we need six more guys. Brutus’ music was awesome, just like the names for the teams. Tito and Honky start things off and for the third straight year Honky and Brutus are in the opening match on this show. I’m not sure what that means.

Tito takes over quickly but Honky gets in one kick before RUNNING over to make a tag to Martel. Rick dropkicks Tito down as Jesse talks about the now broken up Strike Force. Tito atomic drops Martel for two and everyone but Bad News gets in the ring at once. Nothing happens but it’s cool to see. Brown not getting in is perfect for his character too. Off to the Boss Man who is immediately armdragged down by Tito.

Off to Dusty who pounds away as the fans go nuts. Chicago was a big NWA town so it’s easy to see why he’s popular. Brutus comes in to another pop but Boss Man takes him down with a few shots to the back. Honky comes in but misses a fist drop. Beefcake hammers away but Martel makes a blind tag and takes over on Brutus. Rooster comes in and the place goes quiet. When you can’t get a reaction in Chicago, things aren’t that good for you.

Martel hits some knees to the face and it’s off to Honky who dances a lot. Boss Man comes in and they slug it out with the big man taking over with ease. Martel comes back in and drops some knees but gets rolled up for two. Back to Honky as Rooster is in trouble. I’m digging these four man versions already as the match seems less crowded and the guys can stay in the ring a little longer. Rooster and Honky collide and it’s a double tag to give us another battle of Strike Force.

Tito goes loco on Martel and beats him down, but Martel breaks the figure four. Santana tries an O’Connor Roll but Martel rolls through and grabs the trunks for the first elimination. Dusty comes in next and hits a dropkick (and a decent one) followed by the big elbow…for two? We must be in the WWF. Brutus comes in to work on the arm and stomp on Martel’s face when he tries a reverse monkey flip.

Rooster comes in and can’t seem to figure out what to do with a headlock. Martel is like screw you you nitwit and backbreaks him down. Off to Boss Man who slaps on a bearhug. Gorilla keeps calling Brutus the team captain but the team is called the Dream Team and Dusty came out last. Rooster bites out of the hold and Boss Man tags Bad News who isn’t interested in coming in.

After Bad News gets pulled in he takes over because he’s fighting a freaking rooster. Just like last year though, Bad News accidentally gets hit by his partner and he walks out. It’s three on three now and we have Boss Man vs. Brutus. After the Barber gets beaten on some more it’s off to Honky for a belly to back suplex. Out of nowhere Brutus hits a high knee to Honky for the fast pin, making it 3-2 (Brutus, Dusty and Rooster vs. Boss Man and Martel).

Martel immediately comes in and puts a chinlock on Brutus which doesn’t last long. The second version of it does though as the match slows down a lot. A backbreaker puts Brutus down and he goes into the buckle a few times. Brutus grabs a sunset flip again out of nowhere to eliminate Martel and it’s 3-1. Brutus tags in Rooster to throw a bone to Boss Man and after some punches from Rooster, the Boss Man Slam gets the fast pin and it’s 2-1.

Dusty is in next but it’s quickly off to Brutus for some knees to the chest. Back to Dusty as the good guys are using some intelligence (yes, Dusty and Brutus are using intelligence) with the fast tags. Boss Man gets whipped into the ropes and Dusty takes him down with a cross body, likely rupturing at least three vital organs of Boss Man and getting the final pin. I may have been right about those organs.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but it was fine for an opener. The fans liked most of the good guys and other than Rooster, that was a solid set of guys. The match wasn’t competitive or anything for the most part after the first five minutes but there was nothing particularly bad about it I guess.

Boss Man destroys Dusty with the nightstick and cuffs him to the ropes to keep up the beating. Brutus makes the save with the clippers.

Boss Man brags about what he just did.

The King’s Court, Savage’s team, is read.

The 4x4s say the same thing but much louder.

4x4s vs. King’s Court

Jim Duggan, Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules
Randy Savage, Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Greg Valentine

The 4x4s all jog to the ring with boards in their hands. This would be the second or third time that Bret was teased as a singles guy but it wouldn’t click for another year and a half. The only major feud here is Savage vs. Duggan over the crown but that’s about it. The board carriers clear the ring and stand in the ring for awhile. It looks like we start with Garvin vs. Savage but Duggan chases Savage to the floor before it’s Hercules who actually starts for the 4x4s.

Herc pounds away and slams Savage down, but right into the King’s corner and it’s off to Valentine. Greg gets atomic dropped and it’s off to Bret. Bret works on the arm for a bit and it’s off to Duggan for some right hands. Garvin comes in and I forgot about this feud. That’s likely due to me trying to block anything Garvin related from my mind. Garvin gets taken into the heel corner and it’s off to Bravo for some power.

Hercules comes back in to make it power vs. power with the dark haired guy (Hercules for you young’uns) taking over. And never mind as Earthquake comes in, kills Hercules with a shot to the head and hits the Earthquake for the elimination. Duggan comes in and collides with Quake (he’s still Canadian Earthquake here but that didn’t last long at all) but can’t do anything to him. Bret, being the smart guy that he is, sneaks up on Earthquake and school boys him so Duggan can take him down.

Off to Garvin who pounds away but Earthquake is like boy I’m gonna make you my pizza toppings. Bravo comes in to pound away on Garvin as does Valentine. The Figure Four is countered and Garvin rolls Hammer (Valentine) up for two. Savage drops a knee and it’s back to Bravo to work Garvin over a bit more. A backslide gets two for Ronnie and it’s back to Savage very quickly.

It’s back to Valentine even faster and they chop it out but Garvin makes a blind tag to Duggan who hits the three point clothesline to eliminate Valentine and tie things up. Bravo comes in again and is quickly followed by Savage and then Earthquake. Quake misses a big elbow and there’s the tag to Garvin. He beats on whomever he can and headbutts Bravo down. Here’s the still stupid Garvin Stomp (Orton does it now) and he tries the Sharpshooter (Garvin used it before Bret) but Dino breaks it up.

NOW we get somewhere with a double tag to Savage vs. Hart. These two had an awesome match on SNME a year or so before this and Bret takes over with an atomic drop. Bret loads up something on the legs but Savage dives away and tags in Bravo again. The middle rope elbow gets two for Bret and it’s back to Garvin who immediately walks into a side suplex to make it 3-2.

It’s Duggan vs. Earthquake again with Jim pounding away in the corner. Bret gets the tag and a double clothesline puts the big man down. Savage comes in and Bret is all like BRING IT ON. Well maybe not that loud but you get the idea. Savage gets tied up in the ropes and Duggan chokes away like the hero he is. Randy gets Bret down and misses a knee drop, allowing Hart to hit a backbreaker for two.

A small package gets two for Bret and Savage charges into a boot. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Bravo again. Dino puts on a bearhug because this match hasn’t dragged enough already. Off to Earthquake for some high powered choking followed by an elbow drop for two. The crowd popped a bit for the kickout which is more than can be said for most of this match.

Bret finally breaks free and tags Hacksaw in again so he can slam Savage. And never mind as Bret tags back in about 15 seconds later. Bravo works over the mostly beaten Bret and Hart misses a charge, going shoulder first into the post. A shoulder breaker sets up the Savage Elbow to make it 3-1.

It’s off to Quake to beat on Duggan in the corner but he misses a charge and everyone comes in. Duggan throws everyone into the corner into Earthquake and the Court all bails to the floor. Savage and Bravo get clotheslined down but Quake jumps Duggan to take him down. A big elbow gets two on Duggan and it’s back to Bravo. Duggan avoids a charging Savage but Sherri lowbridges him and it eventually draws a countout.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I don’t get why Duggan didn’t get pinned here. The ending is rather lame and it doesn’t help a match that ran WAY too long anyway. You could easily cut ten minutes out of this and no one would have missed anything at all. The match was dull outside of the moments when Bret was in there, which is something we’ll touch on more later.

Duggan chases them off with the board.

The Million Dollar Team is ready for a Thanksgiving feast in the form of the Hulkamaniacs.

Dusty Rhodes is hurt badly.

The Genius reads a poem about Thanksgiving.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team

Hulk Hogan, Demolition, Jake Roberts
Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain

My goodness that’s an amazing face team. Ok, so now I get to explain Zeus. A month or two ago, WWE released No Holds Barred, a movie Hogan made in the late 80s, on DVD. The villain in the movie is named Zeus and you may notice he’s here. Zeus is played by an actor (not a wrestler mind you) named Tom Lister and the idea is that he’s living his character and is coming to beat Hogan up “in real life” because he lost in the movie. This would be like the guy who played Goldfinger trying to get revenge on Sean Connery. To make things even better, this was originally going to be the main event of Wrestlemania 6.

I’m sure you can see the problems mounting up already, with the main one being that Zeus doesn’t know how to wrestle. Other than that, there’s the idea that the movie barely broke even so a lot of people didn’t get the idea of the story. A positive twist to this is that a lot of people didn’t get the idea of the story, which probably kept the company from being laughed at more than they already were. Zeus wrestled like four matches ever, most of which were short or tag matches so he wasn’t in the ring long. WCW, the geniuses that they are, brought him back seven years later and put him in the main event of another PPV.

Anyway back to the match. The Million Dollar Team won’t let them get inside until Jake fires in the snake to chase them all away. Hogan and Demolition are the champions that you would expect them to be at this point. Zeus wants to fight Hogan one on one but their respective partners hold them both back. Jake starts with Zeus but the actor wants Hogan. They stare each other down and Hogan bounces off Zeus. Hogan pounds away but nothing hurts Zeus at all.

Instead Hulk finds the one weak spot on Zeus by raking the eyes. He slams Zeus down and amazingly enough, IT DOESN’T REALLY DO MUCH. Barbarian hits Hogan in the back of the head and Zeus twists Hogan’s neck around. He starts choking away and it’s a DQ for Zeus who is only pulled off by DiBiase and the promise of money. Just to clarify, we’re giving the Hulkamaniacs, an 80s dream team, a man advantage. Also why would DiBiase get Zeus off Hogan? Wouldn’t Hogan’s pain and agony make DiBiase happy?

It’s DiBiase vs. Hogan now and Hulk is in big trouble. DiBiase hammers away in the corner but Hulk gets a boot up in the corner and there’s the tag to Jake. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and it’s off to Ax who demolishes DiBiase with ease. Smash comes in and they both pound Ted down. Back to Hogan who triple teams DiBiase along with Demolition. Back to Ax with a clothesline but DiBiase elbows him down out of desperation.

Off to Warlord as these two teams are still feuding even a year later. Come to think of it there wasn’t much else in between for those guys either. Dang did the division fall that fast in just a year? A shoulder breaker puts Ax down but Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow. Off to Warlord again but he gets clotheslined down. Fuji trips Ax up and a basic elbow drop is enough to tie the score.

It’s Smash vs. Warlord now but it’s quickly off to Hogan. Hulk softens him up to bring in Jake, which Jesse calls a mismatch. That’s likely based on power but I’m pretty sure Jake is taller than Warlord. Off to Smash but Warlord pokes him in the eye to take over. Back to Barbarian whose big boot is caught but Smash misses the elbow. DiBiase comes back in with those falling punches of his which get two.

It’s chinlock time with a knee in Smash’s back. DiBiase misses a middle rope back elbow of all things but Smash won’t tag for some reason. Barbarian makes a blind tag so the hot shot Smash hits on DiBiase doesn’t count and Barbarian takes his head off with a top rope clothesline for the pin. Jake comes in next but he can’t DDT Barbarian. Barbie whips Jake into the corner with authority although I’m not sure who’s authority it was.

Back to Warlord as things slow down a lot due to exhaustion. Jake dives for a tag but DiBiase slaps Hogan to draw him in instead. DiBiase piledrives Jake but Roberts gets a foot on the ropes to Jesse’s annoyance. Barbarian misses a headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Barbarian. He cleans house and gets two on Barbarian off a big boot. A suplex gets the same and my goodness how rare is it to see Hogan get a two count? Hogan fights off both Powers of Pain but they catch him in a spike piledriver which is good for a DQ for both of them, making it Hogan/Roberts vs. DiBiase.

Dibiase drops knees on Hogan before slapping on the Million Dollar Dream. That eventually gets two arm drops and Jake makes the save. That’s actually a nice touch as it makes the hold look stronger by needing a save instead of Hogan saving himself. Hogan finally breaks the hold and punches a jumping DiBiase. Hot tag brings in the Snake who cleans house. Jake drives in knees on DiBiase’s head as Hogan is dying in the corner.

Here’s Virgil to interfere and take the DDT. DiBiase drops a fist on Jake and puts his feet on the ropes to steal the pin. Ted pounds on Hogan who is still reeling from the long Million Dollar Dream. I’ll give him credit as that’s some great selling of a hold like that. Off to a chinlock and Hogan taps, which wouldn’t mean a thing for years. Hogan breaks the hold but they clothesline each other. DiBiase belly to back suplexes him and it’s Hulk Up time. You know the rest and there’s the legdrop.

Rating: C. There’s one major problem with this match: the first four minutes of this match give away the ending almost immediately. How can you give Hogan, Roberts and Demolitio a man advantage that fast? I’m not saying Hogan should have lost, but the Zeus stuff could have come later in the match and worked much better. Have Zeus stand on the apron most of the match and it would have worked fine. The fans finally reacted though.

Savage and Zeus are ready for their tag team cage match on PPV two days after Christmas. More on that later.

Hogan and Brutus do the same. They’re facing Savage and Zeus in case that wasn’t clear. Sherri shows up and throws powder in their faces so that Savage and Zeus can jump them.

Jesse and Gorilla talk about the tag match and Jesse mentions that there’s trouble in the Heenan Family, which is code for Arn Anderson about to go back to the NWA and Tully got busted for cocaine.

The Rude Brood is ready for Roddy’s Rowdies. These promos are pretty much the same all around.

This one however isn’t. Roddy is talking to Gene when the Bushwhackers and Snuka come up and are all holding turkey legs. Roddy says after the match they can have lunch. Then they all scream about breaking big bones.

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Rick Rude, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Mr. Perfect
Roddy Piper, Bushwhackers, Jimmy Snuka

If nothing else we get to hear All American Boys, perhaps the best theme song in wrestling history. There’s no Heenan with Rude, which is part of the issues the Family is having. Luke and Perfect get things going but after a single slam it’s off to Butch who bites on Perfect’s thigh. Luke comes in and does the same and Snuka matches suit. Butch bites as well and it’s off to Snuka.

Jacques comes in as well and they stall a lot. Jacques poses a lot so Snuka headbutts him down and follows up with a big chop. A slam puts Jacques down and it’s a Superfly Splash for a quick elimination. Rude comes in next and swivels his hips, only to get headbutted into a tag from Perfect. Rude accidentally low bridges Perfect so Snuka rams them together and the Brood is in trouble.

Off to Piper vs. Perfect and the Brood’s luck continues to go bad. Luke comes in and drops a knee before it’s off to Snuka for more shots to the head. Back to Luke for more biting and Butch beats on him a bit more. Piper comes in to face Raymond and for some reason Rougeau tries to slug it out with Piper. A superkick puts Piper down for two but he piledrives Raymond for the easy pin and it’s 4-2.

Perfect comes in with his neck snap for two and for the first time, Piper’s team is in trouble. Piper comes back with a slingshot to send Perfect into the post. Butch comes in for some basic stuff but it’s quickly back to Luke. Piper comes back in for some rapid fire punches and Perfect is in trouble. Back to Butch for more biting but he poses too long and Perfect rolls him up for the elimination.

Piper tries to steal a pin on a rollup to Perfect but it only gets two. Off to Snuka before Luke headbutts Perfect in the stomach. Rude makes a blind tag but jumps into a punch to the gut. Luke ducks his head and the Rude Awakening ties us up at two each. It’s Piper/Snuka vs. Rude/Perfect which is a heck of a midcard tag match.

Rude vs. Snuka starts the final four off and Rude swivels a bit more. Perfect comes in and taunts Piper, drawing him in so Snuka can get double teamed. Snuka finally gets in a shot to break Perfect’s momentum but Rude gets the tag before Piper can come in. Snuka grabs a quick small package for two before taking Perfect down with a flying headbutt. They hit head to head and both guys go down, followed by a double tag.

We finally get Piper vs. Rude which is what this whole match is based on. Piper easily wins a slugout and backdrops Rude down. They fight to the floor and it’s a double countout, getting us down to Snuka vs. Perfect. Perfect hits a great looking dropkick to put Snuka on the floor which eventually gets two. Snuka gets in a chop in the corner and a cross body for two. The Perfectplex out of nowhere gives Perfect the win.

Rating: C-. They did the right thing by having the tag teams get knocked out quick because they didn’t mean anything in this at all. Other than that though there was nothing of note here. Piper and Rude were both counted out to make sure they stayed strong and Snuka didn’t mean anything at this point. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t bad or anything.

The Rude Brood celebrates and Rude says don’t worry about Heenan being gone.

The Ultimate Warriors are very fired (and likely coked) up. Warrior’s topic of the night: orga donor cards.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart, Rockers
Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan

Andre can barely move and it’s sad to see. Neidhart and the Rockers start before anything happens and Jim is in trouble early. Here’s Warrior without any music (he’s IC Champion here) and a big clothesline puts Andre on the floor, which draws a countout because when the bell rang, Andre was the only Heenan Family member in the ring. We’ve already got the same problem the Hogan match had.

Warrior and Haku get things started for all intents and purposes but it’s quickly off to Anvil vs. Arn. Andre (in blue instead of black) yells incoherently at the Warrior as he leaves. It’s Haku vs. Anvil now with Haku in control. A superkick puts Neidhart down and eliminates him like it’s a squash match. Off to Shawn to make Haku miss him and now it’s off to Jannetty.

Haku tries a double clothesline but only hits Shawn. He picks up Marty but Shawn dropkicks Marty down onto Haku for a near fall. Off to Arn who tries a double suplex with Haku on Jannetty, but Shawn catches his partner in a nice move. Double superkicks put the wrestlers on the other team down and it’s off to Marty vs. Haku. Warrior gets a tag in a few seconds later and Haku immediately goes for the eyes.

Haku backs Warrior into the corner and Heenan points to Arn for the tag in a funny bit. Arn immediately gets taken down and Marty hooks an armbar. Anderson brings Marty to the corner and brings in Heenan for a single punch before it’s back to Haku. Arn knees Marty in the back and Haku superkicks him down so Heenan can drop a knee on Jannetty for the pin. You could loudly hear them calling spots on that sequence for some reason.

Warrior comes in so here’s Anderson again. There’s a bearhug by the Champ and Haku gets one as well. Off to Shawn who gets knocked to the floor with a few shots. Shawn moonsaults out of the corner over Arn and Anderson is in trouble. Warrior and Michaels both punch Anderson at the same time and Arn backs away from Warrior. A splash from Shawn gets two and it’s off to Haku.

That doesn’t last long at all as a cross body eliminates Haku to get us down to Warrior/Shawn vs. Heenan/Anderson. Heenan tries to get in some cheap shots on Shawn which draws in Warrior. Why? Was he that afraid for Shawn’s safety? Arn dumps Shawn to the floor and Heenan goes up….and then regains his sanity and climbs back down. Arn keeps asking for help from Heenan because he’s getting tired so it’s finally back to Bobby who runs at the first sign of trouble.

Shawn rams his head into the back of Arn’s head and both guys are down. They slug it out but Shawn walks into the spinebuster (called the Anderson Drop) for the elimination. Warrior fires off some shoulders but Arn ducks and sends him to the floor. Heenan goes up again but thinks better of it again. Off to Heenan but Warrior quickly Hulks up so we see some more Anderson. Warrior fights him off as well and whips Arn into Heenan to knock Bobby to the floor. The gorilla press and splash get us down to one on one. Warrior sneaks up on Heenan and what do you think happens here? A shoulder block and splash ends this.

Rating: C-. I think it was watching the whole show before this but this was another dull match. Warrior was never in any danger and I think everyone knew it. To be fair, this would have been better with Tully out there and you can’t fault the guys for that. Heenan being in there had to turn it into a comedy match and I can’t hold that against them. Still though, another dull match in a series of them tonight.

Warrior sprints up the aisle and clotheslines Heenan as he leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are multiple problems associated with this show. First of all, nothing here is what you would call good. The matches are all ok at best and nothing beyond that. I guess the best match would be the opener, but even that was just ok. This was a really weak time in the company as they had Hogan but he had beaten everyone already so there’s nothing for him to do really.

However there’s a bigger problem with Survivor Series overall. In short, what’s the point of any of this stuff? No stories are advanced here, other than the first match there was no clean fall between the people the feuding people, and there’s nothing to build off here. Look at Hogan. If you have Hogan lose in that match with DiBiase putting him to sleep after that much of a beating, you have a new opponent for him.

Instead, we have Hogan standing tall again which is nothing new at all. That’s the problem with the first few shows other than the first one. Survivor Series went nowhere and the appeal died very quickly. That wouldn’t change until 1991 so 1990 was somehow even more boring to sit through.

Wait I’m not done.

So as I mentioned, there was another match talked about inside a cage between Hogan/Beefcake and Zeus/Savage. This was a dark match at a TV taping in I believe Nashville. It was released as a PPV special called No Holds Barred: The Movie and The Match. Let’s get to it.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage

This is one of like three matches Zeus ever had. Both guys have to escape to win. Vince and Jesse are on commentary. Beefcake gets in first but Sherri slams the door on Hogan to keep him out of the cage. Savage chokes Hogan through the cage as Zeus destroys Beefcake. Sherri locks the cage as Hulk punches Savage through the bars. The crowd is on fire for this. Hogan comes in over the top and makes the save as it’s time for the big showdown with Zeus.

Hogan slams Zeus into the cage a few times and down goes the monster. Savage gets whipped HARD into the cage by Brutus and both heels eat Hogan boots in the corner. Zeus gets double teamed but he sends both Hogan and Beefcake into the cage to take over. Savage tries to climb out but Beefcake stops him. Sherri tries to help Savage but Beefcake rams their heads together to keep Savage in the match.

Savage and Zeus ram both guys into the cage over and over which is a very basic yet very smart strategy for a match like this. Beefcake comes back and rams Zeus and Savage into the cage and all four guys are down. The referee unlocks the door to see what he should do, but Sherri rams the cage onto Hebner’s head and slides Savage the cage.

We load up the big spot of the match as Savage climbs the cage. Vince is freaking out. Jesse: “Well who’s going to stop it McMahon? You can’t do nothing about it.” Savage goes up to the top of the cage and wraps the chain around his hand. He dives at Beefcake but Brutus hits him in the ribs on the way down.

Beefcake gets the chain and pounds on Savage as Hogan can’t slam Zeus. Savage and Beefcake climb at the same time and it’s Hulk Up time. Beefcake gets over the top as Savage goes through the door and it’s one on one. Hogan slams Zeus, rams him into the cage about four times, slams him again, drops an insane THREE LEGS and Zeus is DEAD. The pin is academic.

Rating: B. That’s likely high, but this was absolutely perfect for what it was supposed to be. This was a TV taping main event and the fans got to see Hogan DESTROY his biggest rival at the time. The match was a ton of fun with Hogan in his late 80s goodness. Hogan vs. Zeus was actually going to be the Mania 6 main event for awhile until Vince woke up and put Warrior in there instead.

Ratings Comparison:

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Original: B-
Redo: C+

King’s Court vs. 4x4s

Original: B+
Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: D-
Redo: C

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Original: D
Redo: C-

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D+
Redo: D

Bonus Match

Original: B-
Redo: B

I think the difference here is that with the original I didn’t like it at all but with the new one I got bored by it because it just keeps going and going.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1989 (Original): What A Weird Match

 

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Survivor Series 1989
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Well, a year has passed and you all know how Wrestlemania 5 went. Hogan is champion again and Savage is a heel now, but Ultimate Warrior is on the rise and it’s very fast. Not a lot other than that has really changed. The first four shows can really be grouped together as it’s not until 1991 and the fifth show where we have anything other than a Survivor Series match at one of these shows.

Until then all we’ve had is matches that further the main feuds along. The other things that have changed as far as the style of the show is that the tag match idea has been dropped which is great to me. It makes room for a fifth match which means there’s no match on the card that cracks 28 minutes, meaning that the pointless filler goes WAY down. The matches are now 4 on 4 and they have team names sot this is far closer to the traditional style that we’re accustomed to.

The style works better as it allows for more matches which means less stupid ones. This was a huge step in the evolution of the show which therefore makes it much better in my mind. All that being said, let’s do it.

We get a two minute and twenty second video of clips of the city, the fans, the production truck, and the arena. The souvenirs are oddly called novelties here. It just looks odd. There’s no commentary for this, but only a late 80s WWF theme song playing in the background. Back in the day, all of the shows had their own themes that you would hear once a year. It was kind of a nice touch I always thought. We go to a montage of wrestlers saying what they’re thankful for.

Hogan: health, family, Hulkamania. He speaks for the other members of his cult as well. Somehow this takes a minute for him to say.

DiBiase: he’s rich and you’re not.

Jake Roberts: Damien and the DDT.

Demolition: that they don’t have to fight each other.

Savage: that he’s worthy of being king. And that he’s not in Memphis where an army of Lawlers would miss punches thrown at him.

Duggan: that he lives in America.

Bravo: that Earthquake is on his side.

Dusty Rhodes: his polka dots. And for not having to pretend to have talent against Flair anymore.

Boss Man: for justice. And for the League. And for America. Yeah that was terrible.

Beefcake: his cutting and strutting. And that Hogan lets him keep a job.

Martel: his good looks.

Rude: having a great body.

Piper: that he’s not Rick Rude. Ooo burn.

Genius: for being smart.

Perfect: for being perfect, duh.

Bushwackers: for having stuffing. They practically kiss after saying this. There’s something a bit odd about these two.

Heenan: spending Thanksgiving with the Heenan Family.

Warrior: for war? I have no idea what he said.

Vince runs down the card, which looks ok. I’ll save this for later. This is a montage of pics, introducing every member of each team and every team’s name. It sounds long and boring but this is quick and solid. I like this actually.

Gorilla is the only person that can rock a red sports coat.

The captains will be listed first.

Note: the heir to the throne, Shane McMahon, at the ripe old age of 19 here, is the outside referee all night long.

Enforcers vs. Dream Team

Enforcers: Big Boss Man, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Tito Santana, Brutus Beefcake, Red Rooster.

First things first: Dusty and Beefcake’s music was AWEOME. No Sapphire at this point so my world is still awesome. Ah yes the feuds for this. Dusty and Boss Man are feuding, mainly due to Dusty stealing his hat and both guys needing a feud. Santana and Martel are STILL feuding years later over a team that was together less than a year. Beefcake and Rooster are just there, as are Honky and Brown.

To be fair though, Brown is a substitute for an injured Akeem, who was Bossman’s tag partner at the time, so it’s not like he’s even supposed to be there. Yes, despite what happened last year, Honky and Brown are fine again. We’re starting with Tito vs. SWT (Santino With Talent), the Honky Tonk Man. See, you need talent to play a character like they do. Honky has it which is why he’s memorable. He’s a wrestling Elvis impersonator. That’s saying something.

Jesse says that this is a main event anywhere in the country. Maybe at a bad indy show but that’s it Jess. Strike Force is going at it AGAIN, which even I’m sick of. Jesse says they’re now defunct. I won’t make fun of that as they’ve only been broken up for about 7 months at this point which isn’t that long ago right now. They’ve also not had the big televised match so that’s fine. I think they finally met on SNME but never on PPV, at least not one on one.

Dusty and Bossman go at it now, renewing a rivalry from WAY back in the NWA days. In one of the coolest moments I’ve ever seen in wrestling, Dusty shattered a wooden chair over Bubba (Bossman). What did the big man do? He straightened his tie. Dusty, the massive face at the time, had no clue what to do and ran. Ok so he kind of stepped with a bit more speed but you get the idea.

Brutus comes in, which is odd as it’s his first time not being the first face in the match, but he’s still in the opener. That’s either really good or really bad and I’m not sure which. You can really see the old 80s look here but the 90s are wanting to break through and start up. How in the world has Terry Taylor kept a job this long? Was Little Beaver, which has to be the best name ever for a wrestler, not available? Gorilla says he can dance like Honky. That’s an image I might want. Not sure though.

Jesse’s pro-cheating stuff is just greatness. They’re mentioning the lone wolf aspect of Bad News already so I think we know how he’s going to be eliminated. The fans are popping for Santana against Martel. Why we never got the big Mania match with these two is beyond me. We did however get the epic Martel vs. Koko squash to open Mania 6 though, so that’s nice. Santana jobbed to Barbarian in that match. Why they didn’t just wrestle each other is beyond me.

I think it was planned for them at Summerslam 90, NEARLY A YEAR AFTER THIS, but it didn’t happen as Martel was injured. Martel pins Santana using the tights to finally get rid of someone after 9 minutes. This was far better though as it at least makes things go faster. We have 7 people left instead of 9 so we’re far closer to being done as opposed to the past two years. They keep referring to Bossman vs. Rooster as a mismatch and that’s true.

It’s talent vs. no talent which is a mismatch if I’ve ever heard of one. Bad News doesn’t want to get in the ring as the foreshadowing is absurd at this point. And there it is. In the EXACT SAME SPOT as last year, Bad News gets hit by his partner. Yep after an argument Brown is leaving. See, Dusty’s team is smart here as they don’t do anything to Brown or the other team. If they’re going to go after each other why not just let them? It’s what I’d do.

It never ceases to amaze me how much bigger of a star a wrestler can become by just simply hanging out with Hulk Hogan. What is so great about Beefcake? He has some kick great theme music, but other than that what has he ever done on his own? He’s a barber for crying out loud, yet he’s a major star simply because of Hogan’s association with him. That’s how you know you’re a big star: when by simply being around someone else you make them a major star. That’s saying a lot.

You could say the same thing about Hillbilly Jim too. He got big because of Hogan but he then carried it himself. Anyway, Beefcake takes out Honky with a high knee, doing something that no midcard guy could do for over a year: pin him. That’s actually quite impressive when you think about it. Honky went a LONG time without losing to someone on his level. We’re at 3-2 with the Dream Team in the lead now. Brutus takes care of Martel after being beaten on for awhile.

It made sense though as it was on a sunset flip, which at least makes it look like it’s a surprise. Rooster lasts about 20 seconds against Bossman so thank goodness he’s gone after a Bossman slam. Brutus hits a very odd looking spot as he comes is whipped in and comes back and just kind of raises his knee into Bossman’s chest. He doesn’t jump or anything so it’s not technically a high knee, but instead he just knees him in the chest. It just looked odd, but effective.

Dusty jumps at him and the bell rings twice to end this. Post match Dusty gets beaten half to death by the nightstick. The epic fatness saves him though. Dusty’s overselling here is great. Brutus helps Rhodes out as his music plays and an ugly woman cheers him on. This woman would soon be known as Sapphire.

Rating: B-. See, this is similar to last year’s, but it’s 8 minutes shorter. That makes this miles better. We don’t have 8 minutes of chinlocks or armbars, but rather much faster stuff and less time between eliminations. There were periods of almost 20 minutes with 2 eliminations last year. That’s just dull. This was MUCH better organized as far as time goes and it made for a much more interesting and much better match. It’s still not great, but it’s far better than last year.

Boss Man says Dusty got what he deserved.

The King’s Court all say they’re going to win and that they’re liking this team. The old interview area was always awesome.

King’s Court vs. 4x4s

King’s Court: Randy Savage, Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Greg Valentine

4x4s: Jim Duggan, Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules

Two things: Either Earthquake or Bravo is replacing Widowmaker, who is more commonly known as Barry Windham. I’ve heard either answer so it could very well be either one. Earthquake was a rookie at this point so my guess would be him as Bravo had been around for at least 3 years at this point. Second, Bret and Neidhart are being tested here to see how they do in singles stuff, and Neidhart is actually in the main event. Third and most importantly: Ronnie Garvin still sucks.

Oddly enough the captain leads his heels down the aisle. I like that as it looks like he’s leading them into battle. There’s actually a point to this feud as Hacksaw lost the crown to Savage and he wants it back, leading to this feud. Other than that there’s no real point to these matchups. Based on the commentary, Earthquake is the replacement as it sounds like Jimmy Hart was bought off for this. All of the faces have 2x4s.

That’s either really smart or really stupid and I’m not sure which. In spite of what Gorilla would tell you, the people are not literally hanging from the rafters. Hercules is showing off all kinds of power out there which is actually pretty impressive. Dang Bret is getting a reaction. For a career tag team guy, that’s impressive. Oh yeah Garvin and Valentine are feuding here so it’s only four pointless guys out there. Somehow, Garvin is a former world heavyweight champion.

I think Earthquake and Hercules had a match at Mania and Bret and Bravo had some house show matches if I remember right, so there’s at least some minor stuff from all of these guys. Earthquake sits on Hercules’ chest in about 4 minutes to end him. How awesome of a finisher is that? He just sits on you to get rid of you. I love that.

Yeah Bravo went after Hart so I’d assume they were having a small feud at this point. Ah nice it’s beat on Garvin time! I officially love the King’s Court. It’s weird hearing Jimmy Hart cheering on Savage. Jimmy really is a great manager when you think about it. You can see he’s having a blast out there every time he’s in the arena and that’s all you can ask for out of a performer. Dang it doesn’t last long as he slips a blind tag to Hacksaw who hits the three point clothesline to beat Valentine and even us up.

Earthquake and Hacksaw do some stupid looking brawling for awhile until both tag out so we get more Garvin. Oh yay. He jumps in the air and slams his head into Bravo’s. Yeah that was stupid. Why was the Garvin Stomp supposed to mean something? It’s the same thing that Orton does now where he goes around in a circle with kicks, but Garvin does it somehow more slowly than Orton does. Let that sink in for a bit.

It also looks even stupider than when Orton does it. He’s just kicking the guy. Why is that supposed to be some awesome move? Holy crap it’s Savage vs. Hart. In a GREAT looking scene, Savage runs at Garvin with reckless abandon but as soon as Hart is tagged in Savage stops dead and backs away. The pop is there and Hart all of a sudden looks like a god. Right there, that is how you build somebody.

You take a veteran and an a-list guy like Savage and you have him make Hart look like they’re even. That was perfect. The announcers are helping too by implying Bret can match Savage move for move, which he could, but how many people noticed it for the first time because of what Gorilla said? Of course, they screw it up by having the camera on Sherri for about 10 seconds so we miss the initial contact. Thank you horny Vince.

The crowd is going freaking off for Bret so at least they know what they’re talking about. Savage of course bails in about 40 seconds to bring in Dino Bravo. What was the appeal of this guy anyway? Did he ever actually do anything? Not that I can remember. Correction: he just eliminated Garvin so he is now on my all time top 5.

It’s time for more brawling with Duggan and Quake. Seriously, why is this the thing we keep going back to? It didn’t work the first time so why are we seeing it again? Why not more Bret and Savage, since they’re the most talented people in this match? Of course that’s what I get when I say it. Now for the main thing: Bret wins here. He doesn’t eliminate Savage, but he certainly out fights him here. What more can you ask Savage to do for Bret here?

It kind of worked too as after another run with Neidhart, Bret would begin his singles career. WOW. They fought for about 2 minutes and I don’t think Savage had any offense. He was only able to tag because he got out of the way of an elbow from the middle rope. That’s probably the best job of putting someone over I’ve ever seen. That was absolutely perfect. You have to remember that just 7 months prior to this, Savage was on the end of a yearlong world title reign.

It’s not like he was just a guy that was hot at the time. This would be like Miz or Swagger beating on Cena for a few minutes and Cena not getting in a single blow for the whole times. The announcers argue about Duggan with Gorilla saying he doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. Jesse responds in perfect timing with the gem of so what? There’s lots of words he doesn’t know the meaning of.

I’ve always wondered why wrestlers didn’t watch the tapes and kill Jesse for what he said about them. Same goes for today. Announcers insult people all the time, so why don’t the wrestlers go after them? I certainly would. Ok so I’d get fired and arrested for it but I’d still do it. Geez, Bret takes a beating for about 5 minutes from Bravo but Savage comes in and Bret makes his comeback. I hope Bret bought Savage dinner after this. He owes him either that at least.

Now you’re going to see the brilliance that is Jim Duggan and his great leadership. Bret is out of it after that huge beating but he FINALLY gets the tag so that Duggan is in. Duggan is in for FIFTEEN SECONDS before tagging Bret back in. At this point, Duggan deserves to lose. That’s just freaking stupid.

Now we get something you might never see again. Bret hits the post with his shoulder, and Bravo ACTUALLY FOLLOWS UP ON IT! He hits a shoulderbreaker, which is actually making sense. My goodness people, the WWE guys today need to watch Dino Bravo matches as that was the best psychology I’ve ever seen from him. He had something handed to him and he followed up on it. He then tags to Macho who gets the elbow for the pin.

Jesse swears no one can kick out of that, obviously forgetting Hogan doing just that earlier in the year. It’s Duggan against three guys now. Jesse says Duggan wants the capacity house to get behind him. That’s some weird wording. They really make Duggan look good here as the heels don’t tag for a bit and he holds them all off. Macho is really putting people over tonight, which makes sense as he certainly was the most accomplished person in this match and it wasn’t even close.

Other than Savage only Valentine and Hart had won titles, with Hart’s tag title reigns and Valentine being a completely different character at this point. His IC title reigns are completely forgotten. This is basically just Duggan trying to survive…which I guess is the point of the whole show so maybe Duggan is smarter than all of us.

He gets knocked to the floor and due to the managers and Earthquake he doesn’t get back in time. That’s saying a lot. They didn’t have him get pinned. He clears the ring with the board. Now, is that his board, or did he steal it from someone else from earlier? What a great American role model.

Rating: B+. I really liked the psychology here. Duggan not getting pinned, Bret being made to look AWESOME, Hercules not lasting long at all and Garvin getting killed means this was fun. The heels more or less dominating was fine here and this was exactly what it should have been. Savage was 10x anything on the other team and there was no reason his team should have lost. The best way to describe this match was that it made sense, which means a lot in my mind.

DiBiase is with his team and says that his team is awesome and that Hogan will lose. Now that would be possible if he wasn’t going up against perhaps the greatest Survivor Series team ever assembled. More on that later.

Over to Gene who has a report on Dusty’s condition. He says it’s bad but that Dusty will be back.

The Genius has a poem. It’s catchy I guess.

Million Dollar Team vs. Hulkamaniacs

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Powers of Pain (Warlord/Barbarian), Zeus

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts, Demolition (Axe/Smash)

See what I meant by greatest team ever? Seriously, show me a better four man team EVER. This was the second Demolition reign as they had just gotten the belts back from the Brainbusters. Hogan is the world champion, and Roberts didn’t need a title to be a huge name. I defy you to find me a more balanced team. Also, for ONCE, this is perfectly done.

Hogan and Zeus are feuding, and there was actually a glimmer, and I do mean a glimmer, of a chance that those two would have headlined Wrestlemania 6. To fans like we are in that era, this scared the heck out of us. Everyone that knew anything knew that Zeus was bad, but the Hollywood aspect of this was actually getting Vince believing that it would work in front of 65,000 people. That speaks volumes about how big this feud was.

For every fan out there, you should be thanking whoever booked tonight’s show, because this was Warrior’s main event audition. If this failed, it would have been Zeus vs. Hogan at Wrestlemania. Demolition and the Powers of Pain were feuding earlier in the year so this was either the very end of it or it was already over and we were waiting on their transition to facing the Heenan Family of Haku and Andre. Finally, DiBiase and Roberts are going at it.

Amazingly, no entrance for the heels as they’re in the ring at the end of the poem. I knew Genius couldn’t get that kind of heat on his own. Anyway, all of the faces here have awesome music here. The pops for all four faces are huge, as I really don’t get why this is in the middle of the show. Chicago is notorious for hot crowds and this is no exception.

Good grief the people loved Hogan. The heels won’t let the faces get in. You know what the solution is. BIG FREAKING SNAKE! I am in full mark out mode here as this is just awesome. Hogan’s music is playing the whole time just to make it even cooler. The bell ringing kind of brings me back to reality.

Gorilla’s commentary about Zeus is cracking me up. “Is that big Z on the side of his head in case he gets lost or something?” Gorilla and Jesse are perhaps the best duo of all time. They just are perfect together to say the least. Hogan and Zeus start us off, giving us that epic wrestling encounter we all know they have inside of them. Zeus is actually the same height as Hogan. That surprises me a bit.

I would have thought Hogan was taller. Gorilla will not let up on Zeus as he’s now talking about his belt. Zeus completely no sells everything. Even a jumping knee to the chest does nothing as apparently Hogan is now an MMA guy. He goes to the eyes and slams Zeus who pops back up. This stuns Hogan. Why? It’s a freaking bodyslam, not a Jackknife. Barbarian interferes and Hogan has his head and neck twisted.

That move by Giant in 1995 would put Hogan on the shelf for 3 months, yet here he keeps fighting. What that tells me is that Giant (Big Show for all you newcomers out there) is WAY stronger than Hogan. Zeus chokes away but throws the referee across the ring for the DQ. Everyone runs in and it takes DiBiase promising money to get Zeus off of Hogan. Now some of you might not get why this was the right thing to do. I’ll explain it to you. Zeus makes Khali look like Lou Thesz.

Now, I’ve explained the whole issue with Zeus in far greater detail in my Summerslam review, but in short, Zeus was an actor from the movie Hulk made called No Holds Barred. He wasn’t a wrestler and therefore couldn’t do much in the ring. This would be like having Shaq be in the main event of a PPV. Now, having him do one or two matches would be fine as he could get a crash course in wrestling and his natural athleticism could carry the rest of it.

However, imagine Shaq vs. Cena for the world title at Mania. It’s crazy to even think of. Thankfully, Hogan and Zeus had their feud blown off on a special PPV which was the movie No Holds Barred followed by Hogan and Beefcake against Savage and Zeus in a cage. Hogan hit three legdrops and pinned him to end it and save for a short promo, Zeus wasn’t seen in a ring again for over 6 years.

DiBiase comes in and beats the tar out of Hogan, which shows why this wasn’t the smartest booking in the world. Instead of Zeus going out first, you should have the other guys eliminate each other and put Hogan’s team at a disadvantage so that Hogan can make more of a superman comeback. Jake gets in and he half kills DiBiase. I’ve always loved Demolition’s style: hit people a lot. There’s no thought to it and it’s just mindless violence. What more can you ask for?

They beat down Andre the Giant, so I’ll take them over anyone else as far as brawling goes. Now here we have the stupidity of the way this match was booked: Hogan is already fine about 2 minutes after that horrible beating. I get that they were trying to hold out for Hogan vs. Zeus, but give me a break here. Now the ending is completely obvious as Hogan of course is going to survive, so why should I watch the next 20 minutes of this match?

Now I already know how the rest of it goes, but even if I hadn’t I could call this a mile away. Hogan’s team will get eliminated and he’ll beat DiBiase one on one for the “huge comeback” win. This is what I hate about late 80s booking. The ending works fine most of the time, but getting there makes NO SENSE. However, we do get a fun spot where Hogan and Demolition beat down DiBiase. Why did Hogan and DiBiase never have that big match?

If there has even been one major match that was built up for years and never had the trigger pulled on it, that was it. They just never got to it and that’s not good. They had a match on SNME, but never that big blowoff match on a major show. I would have made that the main event of Mania 6, with DiBiase saying he had enough of paying people to get the job done and he was going to do it himself.

Now for the key: I would have had DiBiase win it. Hogan loses at Mania anyway, so why not to DiBiase? Then have Warrior take it at Summerslam or whatever to lead up to Mania 7 like always. See it’s not that hard. My booking train of thought is completely derailed here by a Monsoon line. “I don’t care if you have a Big Z on the side of your head, that’s not legal.” The greatness of this line cannot even be put into words.

That line is so corny, so horrible, and so freaking stupid that is completely AWESOME. Jesse has NO CLUE what to say to that, so Gorilla keeps complaining about Zeus. Does Tom Lister owe him money or something? Now we move on to the completely stupid elimination of Axe. Fuji trips him, Warlord drops a standard elbow on him, and he’s out. He was relatively fresh so it’s not like he was worn out or something.

If he was worn out completely then that ending makes sense, but why was that all it took? It was a simple elbow drop. That’s the issue I have with the People’s Elbow. It’s an elbow drop. It takes 20 seconds to set up and the effects of the Rock Bottom are wearing off, so it’s a basic elbow. Why should that be able to win matches? That was just freaking stupid.

Yep, Hogan is still fine and this match still sucks. I think that was the issue with this team: they were too good. There’s no way that the heels were going to be able to win here, so therefore, the faces should have lost. That choke thing should have gotten rid of Hogan and the faces should have gone down. How big of a shock would that have been? It sets up Hogan to beat Zeus at the special PPV and DiBiase at Mania, like I SAID WOULD WORK.

Why did I have to be not even two back then? Despite not doing anything for most of the time, we get a rest hold. Good night this is just boring. DiBiase does a weird looking falling elbow from the middle rope which misses. Barbarian clotheslines the heck out of Smash to pin him. It’s Jake and Hogan against the Powers of Pain and DiBiase. I’ve always loved Jake’s blind punches. If he ever hit one of those he would probably half kill someone. That’s better than killing someone I guess.

Roberts, being the better at selling, gets his snake loving head nded to him. Barbarian misses the diving headbutt as Hogan looks like his doggy has been run over as he always does. Hogan fights off both of them as I’m about to snap if I hear Gorilla call Hogan the champ one more time. The referee disqualifies both Powers of Pain for double teaming to make this 2-1 as this is just freaking stupid at this point. Jesse is pissed off and I can’t blame him.

Gorilla is just blatantly being biased at this point and even I’m pissed off too. Why does Hogan have to be pushed THIS strong? He’s the freaking world champion and a single loss in a team match isn’t going to hurt him one freaking bit. Immediately after this, Hogan survives a LONG Million Dollar Dream as even I’m sick of this stupidity at this point. Jake comes in and beats the tar out of DiBiase. I love Ted’s flips. Watch him get knocked around sometime and you’ll see what I mean.

They’re perfectly fluid and they look excellent. Virgil interferes and takes a SWEET DDT to knock him out, but DiBiase drops the falling punch and uses the ropes to pin Jake. At least with the ropes it makes a bit more sense, but Jake not even moving until the three is on the way down was just stupid looking. Did he wake up all of a sudden?

So it’s one on one and Hogan is spent. Gee, I wonder what this is going to be like. Could it be, oh I don’t know, THE SAME FREAKING THING I SAID IT WOULD BE??? Gorilla once again calls Hogan the champ as I feel like I’m watching a Flintstones cartoon. It was always the champ that they wanted to watch on TV. The booking here is just awful as we have our comeback but the double clothesline kills that off.

Yep the legdrop ends this THANK GOODNESS. Hogan poses for TWO AND A HALF MINUTES while holding the belt in DiBiase’s face. See, wouldn’t that be a great buildup for WRESTLEMANIA in 4 months? Heck no let’s just have Hogan reign supreme AGAIN when he didn’t need to.

Rating: D-. Now I’m a Hulkamaniac and I always will be despite what he did in WCW and all the politics he played etc. He’s the greatest and biggest wrestler of all time and he always will be, but this was AWFUL. The booking was just completely stupid here and it backed them into a corner so that the main event had to be Hogan against either Zeus or Warrior. As Gilbertti said, if someone is pinned clean, why should we want to see that match again? I certainly wouldn’t.

DiBiase and Hogan was the money match that had been teased since at least Mania 4, so why did we never get it? Instead we got Hogan and Warrior, which was fine, but they completely blew this one. Why does Hogan, the world champion, have to win here? If Zeus is supposed to be this unstoppable monster, why should Hogan pop up and be fine two minutes later? This just could have been done so much better than they did it, and I don’t get and, nor do I like anything about it.

Savage and Zeus are in the back now as they’re back to being BFFs and they plug the special PPV.

Hogan and Beefcake do the same, but the heels run in and beat them up.

We run down the rest of the card as we have to be at an intermission at this point.

Jesse runs down Hogan and talks about how stupid that was, as well as talking about how the Heenan Family is arguing.

Sean is with Rude’s team and they all say they’ll win. This takes a long time and The Rougeaus are funny.

Roddy leads his team down the hall as all three of them try to smuggle turkey to the ring and leads them in a song/chant. This is bizarre but actually funny.

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Rude Brood: Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, Rougeau Brothers

Roddy’s Rowdies: Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, Bushwackers

So let’s take a look at these teams. First of all they mostly match up with Snuka and Perfect not feuding but they at least are on about the same level. However, let’s break this down. Rude’s team. Here we have Perfect and Rude, both IC and US champions and two of the best to never win one of the two big world titles. They’re teaming with the Rougeaus who are some of the most athletic and crisp guys you’ll ever see.

On the other team we have four guys that have a combined two titles in WWE. Piper has both of them, with the IC title in 1992 and the tag titles with Flair in the 2000s. Yep, if there’s ever been a perfect distribution of talent, this is it. Seriously, even on paper this match looks like a joke. Perfect is with the Genius here. He and Hogan would have a small feud, but no one bought it. Now if that happened a few years later, we’d certainly be on to something. The Rougeau music is AWESOME.

They’re All American Boys! This is one of my all time favorite wrestling songs and is just pure awesome. Rude comes out sans Bobby. This went nowhere really as Heenan stayed with him until he left the company in about a year. He did pick up Henning in a bit though. Snuka has done nothing ever in WWE. Name one match that he won that wasn’t a squash.

He had the cage dive that apparently influenced about half of the wrestlers active today though. Bushwackers, called the marching morons by Jesse, never won anything either. Piper, who won all of two matches that meant anything in WWF, is by far and away the most accomplished member of his team. His pop is great. The bagpipes are completely awesome as always.

We start off with Perfect and Luke. Rude’s tights put RVD’s to shame on all levels. They’re completely awesome. Everyone bites Perfect. I wonder if he needs salt. Jacques does the Jeff Hardy head over heels rope flip which always looks awesome. He then lays down and does a kip up. Yeah these guys were awesome as far as athleticism. They came in during the apex of tag wrestling though and it was hard for them to really break though.

Take my word for it though: they were sweet. Superfly really isn’t all that impressive to me. He had some flashy moves but there’s not a ton of substance here for me. He does have a sweet big splash though and that ends Jacques as Jesse can’t say the name of the face team. They beat up on Perfect for awhile as this is remaining ok I guess. Now no one believes that the Bushwackers are going to beat Perfect, but it’s at least not a bad waste of time.

He finally gets out and it’s Raymond against Piper now. Well this should be….different. Piper eliminates him in about a minute after Ray beats on him for awhile to make it 4-2 and now even I can see how this is going to end. We know it’ll get down to 2-2 and it’ll be the big stars left. Yeah, it’s not hard to figure out at this point. I love how the Bushwackers are completely insane yet they’re trained wrestlers. That’s always been amusing to me. What was training them like?

In case you can’t tell, I’m quite bored at this point as we’re just filling in time before we get down to the big names. Piper and Perfect is a pretty interesting matchup actually. It’s a complete clash of styles and it works very well. What more can you ask for out of this match? I know that we’ve got a gimmick show here but there’s a lot of singles matches that I think would have been better here. Granted they weren’t feuding here but still that’s a feud I’d like to see.

Rude is flat out ROCKING that porn stache. Butch bites Perfect’s trunks. Seriously dude, that’s just getting stupid. Perfect takes him out with a rollup. I wonder if Bobby ever motivated him like that. Bite him on the trunks and he’ll start fighting better. Luke bites Rude on the face and it leads to the Rude Awakening to get it down to the predictable ending.

The heels beat on Snuka for awhile here as it’s quite boring at this point. Piper yelling come on Jimmy makes me think of the movie The Wizard and Video Armageddon. I hate this match. It’s so bad. I better get some Lee rep for that one. Anyway, Snuka powers out of a cover and Perfect lands on the referee with the back of the referee’s head in Perfect’s crotch. When is tea time anyway? Jesse keeps saying Snooka and it’s getting annoying.

Rude rakes the back and Jesse calls it a Piper move. That’s a Hogan move actually Body. The future governor says that this is a standard tag team match now. That’s not true either as it’s elimination, not standard. Why does Jimmy wrestle barefoot? That has to be annoying at times. What if he stubs it or something? Yoda Monsoon says “head to head they hit.” I guess the hand next to the head when Roddy punches is a boxing thing. That’s all I can think of.

So we have our two captains and it lasts a minute and a half as they go to the floor for the double count out to make it one on one. Yeah I’ll spoil it for you: Perfect is going to win. They tried so hard to build him up as credible but he just failed in house shows against Hogan as no one thought he was a legit challenger which is why Perfect never was a real option for a PPV opponent, despite the AWESOME set of promos about how Perfect he really was.

Yeah Perfect is dominating and it’s looking like a squash. Short comeback should happen in about a minute or so. Yep I was right. I officially hate this match. I’ve called half the sequences in it and this is just boring me to death at this point. We get a decently fast paced sequence, but naturally the savage falls victim to the Perfectplex. Why would you ever put your head down in front of a guy that uses a suplex as his finisher? Even Snuka is smarter than that isn’t he? Snuka beats up the Genius afterwards.

Rating: D. I HATED this match. It was just flat out awful and the lineup gave away the ending the whole way. You knew the tag teams would cancel each other out and it would get down to the main guys. At that point, there was no way that we were going to have a face team win. Snuka was a jobber to the stars as you remember him being the first victim of the Streak. This was no exception and it was a lot of filler as well, so I’m certainly not impressed.

The Rude Brood celebrates but Rude won’t talk about Heenan.

The Ultimate Warriors, a pretty bad team, says they hope they spoil Thanksgiving for the Heenan Family.

Heenan Family vs. Ultimate Warriors

Heenan Family: Andre the Giant, Bobby Heenan, Arn Anderson, Haku

Ultimate Warriors: Duh, Rockers, Jim Neidhart

This was the epitome of a last second switch. The Brainbusters, Anderson and Blanchard, were being thrown out as they were just too good and Vince knew it. However, Tully failed a drug test earlier in the day and that was all the reason needed to fire him. Bobby was put into this match as a result. He’s dressed like Andre which amuses me. Even the announcers sound generally surprised about Bobby being out there, so maybe there was something to the idea of this being a legit surprise.

I can’t believe this. I like the Rockers’ music. Yeah Shawn Michaels is in the main event of the Survivor Series. What’s with the high knees in this show? Andre jumps the faces and beats the tar out of them until Warrior comes out and saves them, clotheslining Andre three times to knock him out cold on the floor. That’s how banged up he was. That was as long as he could last at the moment.

Yes, that man would be a champion before the year was over though, giving Andre a completely token title reign to end his career. That would actually be the main event of a LOT of house shows around this time: Warrior beats Andre in less than a minute. So let me get this straight.

We have a young tag team and a powerhouse teaming with an unstoppable force in the Warrior in his main event tryout against a good wrestler in Anderson, a strong guy but more or less a career jobber to the stars in Haku, and a manager. Yeah, this is a FINE way to end the show. What is so special about Jim Neidhart? You hear no real complaints about him, but what did he ever do? He and Bret were a great team, but Bret is obviously the more talented guy.

Neidhart was a jobber for awhile as I don’t remember him winning any singles matches, yet he’s remembered FAR more fondly than his counterpart, Marty Jannetty. However, Jannetty has a pretty decent resume of his own: IC and tag champion. That’s not a bad little career. Now of course it’s nothing great, but that’s not bad either. How many wrestlers don’t have that kind of record? Andre looks downright depressing.

He can’t stand up straight, he’s hobbling around and he’s just shouting unintelligibly. Why was he allowed near a ring at this point? A simple two and a half years before this and he looked fine at Mania 3. This is just sad to see though. Jesse talking about how great and tough Heenan is has me cracking up. Haku hits a kick to the back of Anvil’s head to even us up at three.

Shawn is in there now, and it’s just amazing to think that he’s by far the biggest star left in this match. Who in their right mind would have guessed that? Now we get to some solid stuff as it’s Rockers vs. real wrestlers. I’d LOVE to see this be against the Brainbusters instead of Arn and Haku which is as odd of a pairing as you could ever imagine. Other than a short Warrior thing which was also ok as I like power vs. power at times, this is the best part of the whole show.

The Rockers are really underrated as a team in my eyes. They can bring it with the best of them. Also, they hit a double superkick. Shouldn’t Arn be out cold at this point? That’s a move that I could actually give a break to for Shawn about how it knocks people out now but not then. You could argue that he started practicing it more and got the mechanics of it down better and worked his leg harder to get it stronger, so I can live with that actually.

Heenan comes in, hits a knee, gets punched in the ribs and is out. If Santino did that every week, I’d almost like him. Ok that’s a lie but it would amuse me. Haku and Anderson KILL Marty so that Brain can come in and hit a few stomps and a knee to win it. We have an answer as to why Neidhart is remembered more fondly. He lost to Haku, who got a few world title shots in the next year. Jannetty lost to a guy that tripped over the tail of his weasel suit.

What is this book they keep talking about? I’d love a copy of that book. Warrior comes in and within 12 seconds it’s rest hold time! We get another one a few seconds later. Both are bearhugs by the way. You really can see that Shawn is the star in the making. He has that look in his eyes that people talk about. Actually that might be cocaine, not sure.

The faces use the Midnight Express’ Rocket Launcher which has to make Arn laugh, as he and Tully dropped the titles to them so they could leave the NWA. Shawn with a GORGEOUS high cross body takes out Haku. We now have Bobby Heenan against Shawn Michaels. That is just hilarious. Heenan goes UP TOP! Make that the middle rope. Ok it’s the apron. Yeah he’s not doing anything.

This is the epitome of the coward and it’s working perfectly. OH NOW I GET IT! He’s using his brain! So he’s using himself? Is he his own pimp? Is Godfather needed? Ok I’m done. Shawn and Arn are going at it now as that’s a fine match. Arn with the Anderson Drop, takes out Shawn. Wait the what? When in the world did the spinebuster have a name??? I love that. That’s what it should be called. It’s an awesome name.

More or less it’s Arn by himself against Warrior which leads to at least one funny moment: he goes for a tag and Heenan says no way. Arn is PISSED. For his troubles he gets gorilla pressed and splashed for the pin, and guess who’s the last heel standing. The look on his face is priceless. Warrior goes commando and sneaks up on Heenan which is funny as well. Sadly this is a borderline comedy match.

Heenan’s face is killing me as that could be an avatar with ease. I could be convinced to give up Link for a shot of that. Heenan is running as much as he can but it’s not working. He almost gets up the aisle but it doesn’t work. You know the ending already. Warrior, the jerk he is, chases him up the aisle and clotheslines him in the back of the head which I don’t think Heenan knew was coming, which is not only unprofessional but very dangerous. Yeah Warrior was kind of horrible.

Rating: C+. The comedy here is just ok and again, WE KNEW WHO WAS GOING TO WIN! Andre simply had no business being out there and it’s just plain sad. Now this would have been miles better had Tully been in it, but on mere hours’ notice, what can you ask from Vince? It’s ok and the fans went home happy, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt here. Also, the Rockers/Heenan Family stuff was pretty sweet.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. The first two matches are pretty good, but the last three have some of the worst major show booking that I’ve ever seen in my life. It made little sense, it accomplished nothing at all, and it was as predictable as possible. This was just awful at the end. Unless you’re a hardcore 80s WWF fan, stay away from this. However, next year we get a few twists and a HUGE debut.

WAIT!

Just so I can say I reviewed it, you’re getting a bonus match. No Holds Barred was later shown on a special PPV called The Movie and the Match. All it consisted of was the movie and then a special cage match between Hogan and Beefcake vs. Savage and Zeus. That’s all it was: a movie and a match, but it was the closest thing to a definitive blow off between Hogan and Zeus that we ever got so let’s give it a shot.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

We start with Sean giving a very brief introduction, saying that this is a real challenge to Hulkamania etc. This was in Nashville at a Wrestling Challenge taping in December of 1989 with the PPV on December 27. The heels are already in the ring when we start this up, which can’t be a good sign. Hogan is world champion here. Your commentators are Vince and Jesse. Hogan brings his own chain to lock the cage. That’s just odd.

Beefcake gets in first but as Hogan is getting in, Sherri slams the door on him so it’s 2-1. Savage grabs Hogan to hold him on the ground. The referee runs over to help him, despite having no actual authority here. As he’s doing this, Sherri locks the door so Beefcake is stuck. However it’s the late 80s so we have to make this completely pointless to close out the decade, so Hogan gets loose and climbs in about a minute later.

Beefcake is down now though, so I guess there was at least a thought there. The cage is moving a lot, which is a flaw of the old school kind. The faces are all of a sudden dominating. Dang Hogan liked raking men’s skin. He did that a lot. However, Zeus rams both guys’ heads into the cage to turn it around for the second time in less than four minutes. The rules here are both guys have to get out to win. There’s no pins or submissions.

Savage nearly gets out but Beefcake makes the save. Here’s Sherri though showing off that tremendous figure of hers. I really think Brutus was underrated as a worker. He suffered from having his career turned upside down by the face injury and some of the absolute dumbest gimmicks of all time. Savage and Zeus are completely dominating here. They both try to go up though and the faces make the saves and here’s your comeback.

All four are down after a quadruple cage shot. For no apparent reason, the referee opens the cage, and Sherri slams the door on his head in one of the SICKEST sounding things I’ve ever heard. I mean there was a thud when that door hit him. Despite it being no holds barred, we need to keep the official out of the way. Sherri slips Savage the chain. In a laugh out loud moment, Jesse says Vince has no authority here. I love lines like that.

Savage jumps off the top of the cage with the chain around his hand but misses Beefcake and here come your faces again. A chain shot takes Savage down but of course doesn’t knock him out. You’d be amazed how immune to pain cocaine can make you. Zeus pounds on Hulk. I’ll give you two guesses as to how that goes for him. Beefcake gets up the cage after knocking Savage off and does this big celebration before leaving. Thanks for leaving your partner you freaking traitor.

He pulls Savage out. So let me get this straight: Beefcake leaves Hogan and then tries to help the other team win. What kind of a freaking excuse for a friend is he? What’s next: joining the heel stable as a completely over the top character that can only say two words and apparently losing his calling as a barber? Good grief I love wrestling. Only in wrestling could that even resemble making sense. Four cage shots leads to three leg drops. WOW he must have hated Zeus.

Three Hogan leg drops is equal to the combined power of the militaries of Bolivia and the Death Star. Wait, Hogan gets the pin? There were no pins mentioned before. At least the 80s are going out in style: a short cage match with over the top characters and rules that are changed on the fly. Jesse’s line of “I don’t believe it he did it again” cracks me up.

Rating: B-. This was literally just a match at a TV taping that was thrown on at the end, so what do you expect from it? It’s about ten minutes long and exactly what you would expect it to be. It’s nothing great but it sent the fans home happy and ended Hogan vs. Zeus so there we go. It did what it was supposed to do also: gave the people a reason to buy the movie. This was eventually put out on a home video compilation tape called Supertape, so it’s whatever. This was perfectly fine.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

It’s one of my favorite times of the wrestling year as we’re up to Survivor Series. As usual I’m redoing an old show to go with last year’s, and this time around it’s from my favorite era. The vote went to the 1988 edition and that means the Mega Powers are running wild. Other than that, there’s a heck of a tag team showcase. Let’s get to it.

In a sign of the times, there’s no opening sequence and we go straight to the announcers welcoming us to the show.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Jim Brunzell, Sam Houston, Blue Blazer
Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

Warrior took the Intercontinental Title from Honky Tonk Man about two months ago. Everyone else is just kind of thrown in, including Brunzell, who is replacing Don Muraco after Don left the company. Even the announcers think it’s a bad idea to have Brown on a team. Beefcake hammers on Valentine (See what I did there?) to start but Davis, the EVIL referee, knees Beefcake from the apron.

Not that it matters as Brutus slaps on the sleeper and Davis is done in less than a minute and a half. Honestly, what else were you supposed to do with him? Valentine comes back in and Jesse gets on Beefcake for not tagging out (which was actually a problem for him last year too). Blazer (Owen Hart as a superhero) comes in off the top to start on Valentine’s arm until Brunzell gets the tag to do the same.

The great looking dropkick plants Greg but Brown makes a blind tag and beats the tar out of Brunzell. Bad News finally gets tired of it and scores the elimination off a Ghetto Blaster (enziguri, a pretty awesome looking move at the time). The rather skinny dancing cowboy (it was a different time) Sam Houston comes in and gets hammered in the chest (Jesse: “Welcome to the big time kid.”), followed by a clothesline (which also hammers him in the chest).

Valentine comes in and hits Brown by mistake so Bad News walks out, as you kind of knew he would. That’s a great way to protect him, especially when he’d be getting some World Title shots on the house show circuit in January and February. Houston tries a sunset flip but gets punched in the face and it’s off to Bass (the evil cowboy). Another sunset flip doesn’t work as Houston needs to find something else. A powerslam plants Houston, just as I realize that he looks like someone let the air out of Tito Santana.

Warrior comes in and drops Bass with a right hand and a corner clothesline. Honky Tonk Man and Valentine are knocked away as well as the fans are going nuts. A Rocket Launcher gives Blazer two on Bass and Honky Tonk Man gets dropkicked into the corner. Blazer powerslams Valentine down but Honky Tonk shoves him off the top, setting up a Figure Four to make Blazer give up. Superman has Kyptonite, Martian Manhunter has fire and Blue Blazer has leg submissions.

Beefcake comes in and Jesse actually brings up their partnership. So we’re down to Beefcake/Warrior vs. Valentine/Honky Tonk Man/Bass and Beefcake is in trouble. The Shake Rattle and Roll is broken up with a backdrop and a right hand knocks Honky Tonk Man out of the air. There’s the atomic drop for the funny sell job but Beefcake STILL won’t tag. Seriously dude learn your lesson already.

Beefcake grabs the sleeper but he and Honky Tonk Man fall out to the floor. The sleeper goes on outside and that’s a double countout to get us down to 2-1. The double teaming begins in a hurry and Warrior is in trouble in the corner. A double clothesline takes the villains down and back to back ax handles give Warrior the win at 17:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great but it was a good choice for the opener. The fans are going to eat up Warrior and Beefcake every time and those were some fine choices for villains to dispatch. There was no way Warrior was going to lose here though and it was nothing more than a showcase for his new title reign. That’s hardly a problem as it worked the previous year, albeit with some far, far better talent.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Demolition/Brain Busters/Bolsheviks/Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Los Conquistadors
Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs/Hart Foundation/Young Stallions

Here’s a famous one and to clear up a common misconception: this is NOT the only time Bret and Shawn teamed up as they were together on some house shows in the 90s. All the managers are here too, making this one of the best who’s whos in wrestling history. As you might guess, any wrestler being eliminated means his partner is gone as well.

Davey Boy Smith and Conquistador #1 start things off and I’m not going to bother mentioning every tag. With so many people to feature, there’s not going to be much more than a few seconds of action for each. Shawn gets taken into the wrong corner, though there are wrestlers almost surrounding the apron, which means we need a variety of camera angles to make sure we can see most of the early action.

Marty dropkicks Arn (who Jesse praises) down so it’s off to Tully as I really want to see Bret in there now. Instead it’s Jacques coming in and missing a middle rope crossbody, allowing a tag off to Dynamite Kid. Ray Rougeau comes in and it’s a good thing Dynamite doesn’t break his nose. Bret comes in and a quick small package gets rid of the Rougeaus so we can have a little room.

It’s off to Neidhart, who is quickly caught in the wrong corner. An awkward looking clothesline takes Smash down and it’s Barbarian coming in for the real showdown. That always awesome big boot takes Smash’s head off and it’s back to Bret to hammer away on Ax’s ribs. Tully comes in with a top rope shot to the ribs as this should get entertaining in a hurry. Shawn and Ax get the tags and it’s time to demolish Michaels, which will never get old. It’s off to Nikolai Volkoff for the gorilla press backbreaker (albeit a sloppy one), followed by a great looking spinebuster from Anderson. You can hear the fans react to it as well, which they certainly should.

A Conquistador comes in and gives up a hot tag to Jannetty. The rapid tags continue until it’s Davey’s turn to take Nikolai’s kick to the ribs. Tully misses an elbow drop though and it’s off to the Warlord vs. Ax for the big showdown of the match. Warlord gets the better of it and trips the now legal Smash down just as easily. It’s already off to Barbarian for a running knee to the ribs as another team needs to be eliminated in short order. Tully comes back in and walks into a gorilla press hot shot, followed by a powerslam from Neidhart for two.

Next up is Dynamite getting stomped down so it’s off to Jim Powers to hammer on Zhukov. Boris rolls through a middle rope crossbody though and gets rid of Powers to tie things up. Shawn comes back in to speed things up again, including a middle rope fist drop for a near fall. It’s back to Tully who sees Barbarian waiting on him and struts over to Volkoff for the tag. The Russian actually takes over and hands it off to Ax, who hammers Barbarian down without much effort.

It’s Shawn back in a few seconds later and a blind tag allows Marty to sunset flip Boris for the pin and an elimination. As has been the custom so far though, Marty gets beaten down just after having some success. It’s right back to the Bulldog to face Tully with a hard toss sending Blanchard into the corner. The next tag in a very, very long series of them brings in Neidhart for something like a Demolition Decapitator on Dos. Dynamite with his sweet 70s mustache comes in for a middle rope knee and it’s back to Barbarian.

Hang on a second though as Bobby needs to give Tully some instructions before he gets pounded down. The advice seems to be a tag to Smash, who hammers Barbarian down for a neck crank. That goes nowhere either so it’s off to Neidhart to suplex Blanchard, followed by a backbreaker from Bret. They head into the corner with Bret trying a German suplex but Tully raises an arm for the pin and an elimination.

We’re down to the Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs vs. Demolition/Brain Busters/Conquistadors with Dynamite getting two on Tully off a Tombstone. Shawn comes in and it’s a four way brawl between the Brain Busters and the Rockers, drawing a double DQ to really clear the ring out some more. The fans are NOT pleased with that but we’re at nearly half an hour into this with four teams left so it’s something that had to be done.

Ax cranks on Dynamite’s neck as the four eliminated guys fight to the back. Davey comes in and crucifixes Ax for two, only to get sent hard into the corner. It’s back to Dynamite for some forearms to Smash’s head but, as has been the case all match long, the tag is just allowed with little resistance offered. Davey gorilla presses and powerslams Uno but it’s right back to Ax vs. Barbarian with the latter being hammered down. Jesse talks about this being the dream match, which we’ve heard multiple times now.

Dos comes in and eats a double back elbow for, uh, dos, followed by Dynamite getting the same off a gutwrench suplex. A big legdrop from Warlord gets no cover and both Jesse and Gorilla are all over him for such a stupid mistake. To top that, Dynamite does the same thing for probably the fourth time tonight. The snap suplex to Smash sets up the diving headbutt but Dynamite only hits the mat, giving Smash the pin. That’s it for the Bulldogs in the WWF as Dynamite’s back was basically held together by gum and paperclips at this point. Throw in a fight with the Rougeau Brothers and there was just no future for them here.

Warlord goes shoulder first into the post and Ax hammers away as Jesse still can’t believe that the Conquistadors are still around. Fair enough point actually. Demolition’s manager Mr. Fuji gets on the apron to yell at Ax despite the team being in control. That’s rather odd and sounds quite a bit like a plot point. A neck crank slows things down again but Warlord shoves Smash to the ropes, which Fuji pulls down to send Smash outside. Ax goes over to check on his partner but Smash is counted out to get us down to two on two.

Fuji and Ax get in an argument with Fuji hitting him with the cane. Smash is up though and slams Fuji down before leaving. The Powers of Pain go to check on Fuji though and we’ve got the ultra rare double turn. I mean, it didn’t really work immediately but it does solve the problem of BRINGING IN THE POWERS OF PAIN AS FACES. It’s one thing to have a pair of power brawlers as faces when they have the Legion of Doom’s charisma but that’s certainly not the case here. So the Conquistadors hammer on Warlord until Fuji trips Dos up, allowing Barbarian to drop a headbutt and FINALLY wrap this up at 42:24.

Rating: A-. The amazing roster is what people remember the most here and I can’t say I blame them. The double turn is cool and all but sweet goodness it’s hard to remember that when you see all the talent in this thing. You might never see a better collection of talent (and the Young Stallions) in a single match. The problem here though is having too many people around, making it pretty difficult to have anyone stand out. It’s a very good match though and easily the highlight of the night.

Demolition comes back in to brawl with the Powers of Pain.

Bad News Brown doesn’t care about Survivor Series but thinks he should be the WWF World Champion. He’s beaten everyone who has been put against him, including winning the Wrestlemania battle royal. It’s kind of odd to see them reference something from that long ago at this point and I rather like it. Now I’d like to get away from Brown as those big eyes are still intimidating.

Gorilla and Jesse discuss Brown as the intermission continues.

Fuji is with the Powers of Pain and thinks Demolition was getting too overconfident so it’s time for a new team. Barbarian actually talks, which is certainly a rarity in this company. Gene doesn’t think Fuji can be trusted, and I for one believe Mean Gene Okerlund.

Gorilla and Jesse don’t have much on that one, as it pretty much speaks for itself.

We look at the remaining two matches in those always awesome squares. The sobering/surprising part: of the heels in the next match, Harley Race, the veteran at this point, is the only one still alive. Even the managers are both gone.

Team Andre is ready for their match with Bobby Heenan saying everyone is going to be afraid of Andre. For reasons that I don’t want to fathom, Dino Bravo is co-captain and promises to put some shame in Jim Duggan. Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and Andre all say they’ll win. Harley Race doesn’t get to say anything. How rude indeed.

Team Mega Powers is united and ready to fight. Koko B. Ware, Hercules and Hillbilly Jim all come off as filler and it’s hard to fathom that they’re in a pay per view main event. Well maybe not Hercules.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Ken Patera, Scott Casey, Tito Santana
Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect

Patera is a strongman, Casey is a jobber to the stars (He’s replacing B. Brian Blair, who was replacing Junkyard Dog. He also went on to train Booker T.) and the main feuds here are Jake vs. Andre and Duggan vs. Bravo. In an odd thing to hear, Perfect is introduce as Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. Rude and Patera start things off with Ken shoving him away as Gorilla talks about Patera retiring him.

Bravo comes in for a really bad power battle. Thankfully it doesn’t last long, though Jesse does manage to get in his talk about Bravo’s bench pressing abilities. It’s off to the awesome matchup of Jake vs. Perfect (who I really hope had a 20+ minute match at some point) with Roberts getting the better of it and handing it off to Tito (who also should have gone 20+ with Perfect). Bravo comes back in and gets his arm cranked on for a bit. Casey hits an ax handle but walks into an atomic drop.

It’s off to Race for a belly to belly before handing it off to Rude. A headbutt staggers Perfect and it’s off to Patera for an elbow to the face. Duggan comes in to a heck of a reaction and clotheslines the heck out of Perfect. A right hand in the corner staggers him again but Andre reaches over the ropes and grabs Duggan’s head to take over. Gorilla turns this into an ad for the Royal Rumble in a pivot that would have made Vince proud.

Tito hits something like the flying forearm for two on Rude but Duggan misses an elbow drop. A double collision puts Rude and Duggan down and it’s back to Patera. Since Ken isn’t all that good though, he charges into a boot in the corner and the Rude Awakening makes it 5-4. Casey charges in and gets dropkicked down by Race, followed by Bravo’s side slam for the pin. Duggan comes in swinging away as his team is suddenly in BIG trouble. Unfortunately he winds up in the wrong corner as well (he never was all that bright) and the one sided beating continues.

Duggan finally gets away for a clothesline and it’s off to Race vs. Santana (sweet goodness the teases of awesome matches in this one are almost too much to take). That one doesn’t last too long though as Bravo comes back in and gets sunset flipped for two more. Race comes in again and grabs the piledriver for two (that probably should have been a finisher), only to walk into Tito’s flying forearm for the pin.

Santana’s reward is Andre, who chops him down with ease and hammers away like King Kong swatting at a fly. For some reason Tito tries a sunset flip and Andre sits/falls on him for the elimination. We’re down to Andre/Perfect/Rude/Bravo vs. Roberts/Duggan, with the latter knocking Andre into the ropes. Jake comes in and chokes away, only to have Rude tag himself in and knock Jake into the corner.

We hit the hip swivel and it’s off to Perfect, who I bet can do a mean swivel of his own. Jake is in trouble but manages to clothesline Bravo (who would be the weak link of the team), only to have Rude clothesline him from the apron. One heck of a right hand puts Roberts down, allowing Dino to grab a piledriver of his own. That’s only good for two as well, allowing Duggan to come in off another hot tag. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Bravo’s manager Frenchy Martin (a worthless and rather bulbous excuse for a manager if there ever was one) pulls him to the floor.

Duggan has had enough and brings in the 2×4 to blast Bravo in the ribs, making it 4-1. Roberts gets to deal with Perfect first and knees him away, meaning it’s time for more Bravo. For some reason Jake tries a test of strength and is quickly taken down. The threat of a DDT is blocked with a back body drop and Bravo brings Rude in again.

Rick slowly hammers Jake down as Jesse suggests that Jake’s wife Cheryl will leave Jake for Rude if Jake loses. A quickly broken bearhug has Jake in trouble but he pulls Rude’s tights down. It’s enough of a distraction for a DDT to get rid of Rude but it’s Andre time. The choking ensues and Andre is quickly disqualified but Jake is more or less dead, giving Perfect the easy pin at 30:02.

Rating: C. This was another long match but it told a good story. The villains were COMPLETELY dominant here and Duggan and Roberts were the only ones who could do anything. It makes Jake and Duggan look good, but they were overmatched by the whole team. It keeps the feuds ready for next time when the heroes can fight back. It’s a smart story and things are set up well for the future. The match wasn’t the worst and it’s nice to have the whole version as the Coliseum Video version cut this down to EIGHT MINUTES.

Team Twin Towers is ready to destroy the Mega Powers. You’re not going to do that chums. For some reason the camera goes into an EXTREME closeup on Boss Man when he’s talking about crushing Hogan. That was a heck of a disturbing visual.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, King Haku, Ted Rooster

Akeem is freshly off his transformation from the One Man Gang. Also, sweet goodness that’s quite the fall for DiBiase, who was helping to get the title off Hogan just ten months earlier. Of note here: Hogan gets his own entrance while the rest of the team comes out on their own. What a selfish hero. Hercules wants to start with DiBiase (who recently purchased Hercules and called him a slave) but it’s Savage starting for the team instead. Somehow we don’t get a reference to Wrestlemania and it’s off to Hercules after a clothesline from Savage.

Rooster comes in and stops Koko in the corner as I wonder how we got two bird brains in the main event. It’s already back to Hercules to slug it out with Haku but he hands it off to Hogan in short order. A double big boot with Hillbilly helping Hulk drops Haku but it’s quickly back to the Rooster. My goodness they’re tagging fast tonight. The Rooster tries to ram Koko’s head into the corner and the powers of racial stereotypes takes over. A missile dropkick puts Rooster down and Savage drops the elbow for the first elimination.

The good guys clear the ring and we take a brief break as Heenan apologizes for his man losing so quickly. Haku comes in and pokes Hogan in the eye and a heck of a dropkick puts him down. Hercules comes in, gets slammed, and it’s right back to Hillbilly. Thanks for coming in Herc. Akeem splashes Jim in the corner a few times and the running splash ties things up. Koko comes back in and throws a few right hands before Hogan comes back in instead. There really is no hiding the fact that this is ALL about Hogan and Savage (as it should be of course).

Koko and Hercules take turns hammering on Akeem until Koko misses a charge in the corner. The Boss Man Slam gets rid of Ware and it’s 4-3. Boss Man turns around and gets Hogan, drawing a heck of a reaction from the crowd. Right hands set up a slam on the Boss Man but Hogan charges into a spinebuster (still weird for that to not have an official name). The running crotch attack has Hogan in more trouble and it’s off to DiBiase for a clothesline. That’s already enough for the Hulk Up and an atomic drop but Hogan is nice enough to hand it off to Hercules.

The beating is on (Jesse: “A slave doing this to his master!”) and some clotheslines have DiBiase in trouble until Virgil trips him up. DiBiase grabs a rollup to get rid of Hercules but Savage is smart enough to run in and grab a rollup of his own to eliminate DiBiase. That leaves the Twin Towers/Haku vs. the Mega Powers and it should be a matter of time now. Savage leg dives Haku and brings in Hogan, who eats a superkick to put Hulk in trouble. The Towers take turns beating Hulk down and we hit the nerve hold from Haku.

For some reason Boss Man tries a top rope splash and, of course, misses completely. The hot tag brings in Savage but Slick makes a quick trip (WAY too common of an idea on this show). Slick grabs Miss Elizabeth and of course you know this means war. It’s Hogan making the save but Boss Man cuffs him to the ropes, which takes too long, earning himself a countout. Boss Man beats the heck out of Hogan with the nightstick before doing the same thing to Savage.

That’s enough to DQ Akeem and unfortunately we don’t get the over the top Jesse reaction. Haku misses an elbow on Savage and of course Slick taunts the cuffed Hogan with the key. A missed superkick takes Slick down and Elizabeth steals the key, freeing Hogan as Savage is being mauled. Haku’s top rope splash gets two and another superkick puts Savage in the corner for the tag. The big boot and legdrop wrap things up at 29:08.

Rating: C+. This really was just about the last five minutes and maybe Hercules vs. DiBiase to a much lesser degree. At this point though, you need as much hype towards Hogan vs. Savage as you can have and five months in advance is more than acceptable. It’s not a great match or even close to one but it was entertaining and accomplished the primary goal. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Hogan poses and hugs Elizabeth without even checking on Savage. Randy poses as well but clearly isn’t cool with all this. I love how Hogan was made the face in this whole thing. Today he would be the top heel in about five minutes but there was no way that was working in 1988.

Overall Rating: B. While not as good as the first edition, this show more than holds its own and has a classic (albeit a VERY long one) to bolster some not great action otherwise. There’s a story/point to every match and they did a good job of further establishing the concept. It was hardly a played out idea at this point and the matches were given ample time (too much in some cases) to flesh out the pretty new match. It’s so weird to see this as more of a stepping stone to Wrestlemania, which was the be all and end all even back then. Good show this year but not as good as the first edition.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D
2012 Redo: C
2017 Redo: C

Team Powers of Pain vs. Team Demolition

Original: A
2012 Redo: A
2017 Redo: A-

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Jim Duggan

Original: F
2012 Redo: C-
2017 Redo: C

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: D+
2012 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+
2012 Redo: B
2017 Redo: B

I must have been in a really, really bad mood the first time I watched this as only the second match is in the same ballpark. Everything else is pretty much the same and I think we have my definitive take on this show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

 

And the 2012 Redo:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

It’s year number two of the series and there’s a new champion in the form of the Macho Man. He and Hogan have formed the Mega Powers and are in the main event tonight against the Twin Towers who are neither twins nor towers, but they’re two monsters in the forms of Big Boss Man and Akeem, formerly the One Man Gang. There are only four matches again here but it’s a long show as well. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla and Jesse go over the rules (elimination rules, pin/submission/countout/DQ for an elimination) and we’re ready to go.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell, Blue Blazer
Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

This is fallout from Warrior winning the title at Summerslam. Brunzell is subbing for Don Muraco who has left the company at this point. That’ll be a recurring theme tonight. Valentine and Beefcake starts us off, making it the second year in a row that Beefcake has opened for his team. It’s quickly off to Davis and the sleeper puts him out in less than a minute and a half. Well to be fair there’s no reason for him to be around anyway. Valentine charges right back in to continue the war of the original Dream Team, which I doubt most people would remember at this point.

Greg goes after the legs as is his custom, but since we’re only about three minutes into the match, the Figure Four is broken up. Well to be fair everyone says that Valentine doesn’t get warmed up for about ten or fifteen minutes so he’s still looking for his keys at this point. Off to the Blazer (played by then mostly unknown Owen Hart) who drops an ax handle onto Valentine, giving us the trademark slow fall.

Valentine goes for the arm (not a hammer lock which takes away the irony of it) but Blazer easily takes him down with a headscissors and brings in Brunzell. The Killer Bees were gone at this point so he’s just a guy in trunks. He’s a guy in trunks with a good leapfrog though as he clears Valentine with a lot of room to spare, only to get slammed down. Brunzell pops up and hits the dropkick but it’s off to Bad News. Sweet goodness was this guy born in the wrong generation. Imagine him after the rise of MMA, remembering that he’s a legitimate Olympic bronze medalist in judo.

Brown comes in like the headhunter he’s known as and kills Brunzell with a clothesline. Brunzell tries some basic stuff so Brown kicks him in the chest and beats on him in the corner. Brunzell misses a charge in the corner and the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) gets the easy pin to tie things up. Brutus comes in and grabs Brown so Houston, one of the least intimidating guys ever, can come off the top with a double ax.

Houston misses a charge in the corner and Brown pounds on him like a stupid looking dancing white boy. A clothesline takes Houston’s head off and here’s Valentine. Make that Brown again and Valentine accidentally hits Brown. That ticks off Bad News and he walks off. That’s not a face turn. He just didn’t like anybody. Houston tries to steal a pin on Valentine but Greg is like boy please.

Off to Bass in a match that I think happened before in the NWA. A rollup gets two for Houston but he charges into another boot in the corner. That’s a popular move in this match. A middle rope cross body gets two for Sam and a forearm from Bass takes his head off for two. Houston’s monkey flip is countered into a powerslam and he’s gone, thank goodness. The guy is just not interesting or good at all.

Warrior comes in to fire the crowd up and attacks everyone left on the other team (Valentine, Bass and Honky vs. Warrior, Beefcake and Blazer at the moment). Honky comes in because he’s not that bright and there he goes, flying through the air off a shoulder tackle. Off to Bass who gets slammed down and hit with a Rocket Launcher from Blazer. Honky comes in and is cross bodied down immediately. A monkey flip and dropkick have Honky in even more trouble so it’s off to Valentine.

Owen gets crotched on the head of Valentine during a leapfrog but apparently Blazer has balls of steel because he suplexes Valentine down and drops a knee for two. Blazer goes up but Honky shoves him off, sending Owen down onto his knee. The Figure Four means a quick elimination by Valentine and we’re down to 3-2. Off to Beefcake vs. Valentine and Jesse mentions that these guys were not only a team but tag champions. Why is that such an afterthought?

Off to Bass who also has history with Beefcake but that isn’t mentioned here, despite it happening like three months before this. A headbutt keeps Beefcake down and it’s back to Elvis Man. His contribution is ramming Beefcake’s head into Bass’ boot and tagging in Valentine. Well no one ever accused him of being a ring general. After Warrior charges in like an idiot, it’s back to Honky for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Brutus backdrops out of it to start his comeback.

Back to Bass who hits a top rope clothesline to keep the advantage and brings in Honky who goes up. Beefcake punches him in the ribs because Honky is about as fast as Arn Anderson at going to the top. Beefcake wins a slugout and we get the eternally funny selling of an atomic drop by Honky. There’s the sleeper but Man dumps them to the floor and they fight to a countout.

This leaves us with Valentine and Bass vs. Ultimate Warrior. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. A double clothesline puts Warrior down but Valentine can only get two. More double teaming works for a bit but Warrior gets to the ropes and starts shaking. Another double clothesline doesn’t work and an ax handle each gets the two pins to make Warrior the sole survivor.

Rating: C. Not the best match in the world but for a midcard match it was fine. Warrior was insanely over here (as well as insane in general but that’s another talk for later on) and the fans erupted for his comeback at the end. The rest of it is just ok and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was the right choice for an opener though.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Powers of Pain, Rockers, British Bulldogs, Hart Foundation, Young Stallions
Demolition, Brain Busters, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeaus, Conquistadors

Now here’s a famous match. Demolition won the titles at Wrestlemania and are rapidly becoming faces based purely on fan reactions. They’re with Mr. Fuji here. These are the same rules as last year, meaning if a member of a team is beaten, he and his partner are both gone. Los Conquistadores are masked guys and would probably be played by different guys every night. My guess here would be Jose Estrada and Jose Luis Rivera here.

British Bulldog starts with let’s say Conquistador Uno. It’s quickly off to Jacques who was having legit backstage issues with the Bulldogs at this point. Off to Zhukov vs. Shawn and Michaels moonsaults out of the corner ala Daniel Bryan. Marty comes in and I’m not likely going to mention every tag here given how fast they’re happening. Ax comes in to pound on Jannetty and it’s off to Arn Anderson of the Brainbusters. Tully comes in and gets beaten up in the face corner for his efforts.

Jacques is tagged to be the fourth heel in about a minute and a half. Dynamite pounds on Jacques which is probably the most interesting pairing in the match given their real issues. Jim Powers comes in for about a second before it’s back to Dynamite to face Raymond Rougeau. A sunset flip gets two for Dynamite and it’s back to Powers to face Zhukov. Smash comes in and Powers is in trouble. Jacques dropkicks Powers into the corner and here’s Bret to a BIG pop. Bret quickly small packages Raymond to get things down to 5-4. There are still a ton of people on the apron though.

Off to Roma vs. Volkoff with Roma being in trouble quickly. Roma comes out of the corner and in an impressive spot, he jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning crossbody for two. Volkoff comes back with a dropkick of his own and it’s off to Smash vs. Neidhart. Jim quickly tags out to Barbarian for the real feud of the match: Powers vs. Demolition. Smash, still a cowardly heel, brings in Conquistador Dos.

Warlord comes in to pound on Dos as does Bret. Ax comes in and kicks Bret down before it’s off to Tully. Bret clotheslines Tully down and from the mat they tag in Shawn (he and Bret have to interact at Survivor Series. It’s like law or something) and Smash respectively. Volkoff and Smash double team Shawn with Nikolai hitting the gorilla press backbreaker. Back to Tully who immediately tags in Arn for the wicked spinebuster for two.

Uno comes in again and slams Shawn down but it’s off to Marty even faster. Back to Volkoff who tosses Marty around with ease. Davey comes in and the power advantage is negated. Nikolai brings in Tully who drops a lot of elbows on Davey before it’s off to Dos vs. Warlord. Warlord no sells everything and gorilla presses Dos into a tag to Ax. They slug it out with Ax taking over and handing it off to Smash.

Smash doesn’t do as well and it’s a double team from the Powers to take over on him. Tully comes in with a middle rope elbow to the head of Barbarian but Barbie clotheslines Blanchard’s head off. Barbarian tags Neidhart for a powerslam on Tully and then it’s off to Dynamite. Arn slows him down and brings in Uno who brings in Zhukov. Powers gets the tag and backdrops Boris, but Zhukov rolls through a crossbody for the pin out of nowhere to eliminate Powers and the Stallions.

It’s 4-4 now and Shawn comes in with a fist drop for two on Boris. Barbarian comes in and Tully gets tagged in. Tully realizes who he’s facing so he immediately tags in Nikolai without making a single bit of contact. Ax pounds away on Barbarian with current champion taking over. Off to Nikolai again with nothing of note going on. Shawn comes in to face Zhukov and makes a blind tag to Marty, who sunset flips Boris out of nowhere for the elimination.

Marty rolls up Dos for dos and it’s off to Uno for a BIG backdrop. Ax vs. Marty now as Ax takes over and brings in Arn. Davey gets the tag as does Tully and Blanchard is scared to come in again. I’m not sure why as he whips Marty into the corner and Jannetty is turned upside down. Smash comes in and puts on a front facelock but he tags off to Dos. It’s downhill for Demolition’s team now as the Harts pick apart both Conquistadores, including hitting something similar to the Demolition Decapitator on Uno. Amazingly enough that only gets two.

Shawn dropkicks Uno down and it’s off to Marty with another dropkick for two. Dynamite comes in and there’s the snap suplex. A middle rope kneedrop gets two and Jesse is impressed by Uno’s toughness. Back to Barbarian with a powerslam and a fist drop but he headbutts Uno into the wrong corner and it’s off to Tully. On Bobby’s advice, Tully goes right for the eyes and takes over.

Demolition double teams Barbarian and it’s off to a chinlock from Smash. Uno comes back in and is carried to the corner by Barbarian, but Ax makes the save and puts the chinlock on again. The Brainbusters come in for some offense but Arn puts his head down and gets kicked in the face. Off to Jannetty with a jumping back elbow and it’s time for Anvil. Neidhart immediately does the same thing Anderson did and gets kicked in the face as well.

Blanchard can’t suplex Neidhart and it’s off to Bret. Can we watch these two for 20 minutes or so? Bret pounds away in the corner and the Canadian tries a German on the American, but Blanchard gets his shoulder up and Bret is pinned. It’s now Demolition, Los Conquistadores and the Brainbusters vs. the Powers of Pain, the British Bulldogs and the Rockers. The Bulldogs beat up Tully and it’s off to Shawn. The Busters double team Shawn, drawing in Marty for a four man brawl. Both referees come in and both teams are disqualified and eliminated. It’s down to two teams apiece.

The four eliminated guys brawl to the back as Smash puts a chinlock on Dynamite. Off to Dos with a knee to the ribs, followed by Uno with a top rope forearm. Uno misses a kind of Swanton and it’s off to Warlord with a gutwrench slam. Barbarian comes in with the Kick of Fear followed by the delayed vertical suplex from Davey. Ax comes in for a power showdown with Davey.

Dynamite comes in and clotheslines Ax down before bringing in Davey to hit the gorilla press and powerslam on Dos. Barbarian hits a backbreaker to knock Dos into the corner for another tag, this time to Ax again. The Conquistadores take over on Barbie which isn’t something you say all that often. Dynamite gets a tag because Barbarian only has to fight off Uno.

Warlord gets a quick tag in and drops a leg but doesn’t cover, much to Jesse and Gorilla’s dismay. Dynamite comes in and ducks his head, allowing Uno to tag out AGAIN. Smash charges into a boot and there’s the snap suplex. The Swan Dive misses and a basic clothesline pins Dynamite, getting us down to three teams. That would be it for the Bulldogs as a team in America, mainly due to the medical issues of Dynamite and those fights with the Rougeaus I mentioned. Smash and both masked dudes work over Barbarian in the corner but he easily powers over to Warlord.

Warlord misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first and it’s time for Ax to pound away. Off to Smash who stays on the arm as Fuji gets on the apron. Off to Dos and then Uno with a top rope shot to the shoulder. Fuji is back on the floor now and Ax is in, cranking on the arm some more.

Fuji gets back on the apron and Warlord makes a comeback, only to be clotheslined down again by Smash. Fuji pulls down the top rope as Smash hits the ropes, sending him out to the floor. Remember that Fuji is Demolition’s manager. Demolition gets counted out and we’re down to one team apiece. Ax goes off on Fuji and Fuji hits him with the cane, only to get laid out with a slam.

Demolition leaves Fuji laying as we’ve got the Powers of Pain vs. Los Conquistadores left. They have a standoff until the Powers go out and help Fuji to his feet. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the ultra rare double turn. Back in the ring, Dos comes in to pound on Barbarian and it’s off to Uno. Fuji trips Uno and a headbutt from Barbarian gets the pin to win the match.

Rating: A. What a great match this was. It had EVERY tag team you could want to see in one match as well as a major move at the end with Demolition turning face. You had mini-stories in the match itself which is always a nice touch, with teams having short matches against each other. Also this was about five minutes shorter than the one last year which helped it tremendously. Great match and the 42 minutes that it runs flew by.

The Powers put Fuji on their shoulders post match. Demolition runs in and cleans house.

Bad News says he’s a loner no matter what and that he wants the world title.

Warrior says he can’t breathe properly because of the power stuffed down his throat.

Fuji says he made Demolition and now he’s going to break them.

Heenan says his team will win.

The Mega Powers are ready and Hogan wants Bossman.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Ken Patera, Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana
Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Harley Race

Casey is a jobber who is here because B. Brian Blair left the company. Blair was on the team because JYD left, so Casey is the third string guy. Rude and Patera start things off. This would be around the time when Gorilla suggested that Patera retire because he wasn’t any good anymore, so you can tell what kind of stuff we’re about to get. Rude gets thrown around a bit and it’s off to Bravo, as Gorilla implies Patera made him retire. Now there’s a trivia answer for….somebody I guess.

Bravo bangs on Patera a bit before it’s off to Perfect (called Curt Hennig as well here) with a double ax off the top. Patera shrugs it off and drags Hennig over to hand him off to Roberts. Jake works on the arm as he was known to do before bringing in Santana. Tito and Hennig have as good of a match as you would expect them to have with Tito getting the better of it, only to miss a charge in the corner. Hennig elbows him down and it’s off to Bravo again. Talk about bringing the talent level down.

Off to Roberts who hits Bravo once and then brings in Casey to really cripple the level. A monkey flip doesn’t work for him and now he gets his first real opponent on PPV: Harley Race. Race beats up Casey like he’s a grizzled veteran who is here because his investment went south and he’s working for the guy who caused him to lose all his money and is now beating up some jobber who got a spot on a major show because there was no one else available.

Rude comes in again and it’s time for everyone to get their shots in on Casey. This has to be some kind of initiation or something. Hennig headbutts him and hurts himself in the process. Back to Tito as the match gets a lot better all of a sudden. Did I mention I really like Santana? Patera helps with a double elbow to Perfect and it’s off to Duggan to fire up the crowd again. Hennig tries various things to Duggan’s head which don’t work at all. See, when Duggan does it he follows up. When Casey does it, he doesn’t do anything. One is a legend, the other is never heard of again.

Off to Casey again for some contractually obligated reason more than likely and he’s immediately drilled by Rude which makes my day better. Casey misses a charge and it’s off to Tito with a cross body. Duggan beats up Hennig as well but he misses an elbow. Duggan and Henig hit heads and it’s off to Rude vs. Patera. Patera throws Rude around but misses a charge and gets Awakened for the first elimination.

Casey tries to come in and jump Rude, only to be sent into the heel corner and beaten up even worse than before. Off to Race who hits a good old man dropkick before bringing Bravo back in. Side slam hits and it’s 5-3. See you later Casey, have fun training that Booker T guy. It’s back to the bread and butter of this match with Perfect vs. Tito…the latter of whom immediately tags out and brings Duggan back in. Ok then.

Hennig kicks Duggan in the face which he sells for some reason, but the punches that follow aren’t sold and Duggan gets all fired up. Duggan, ever the lunkhead though, gets fired up near Andre who chokes him down immediately. Back to Hennig for a second and then Rude comes in for his offensive contribution. Duggan finally clotheslines Rick down and it’s a double tag for Tito and Race.

Since Race is a genius, he moves aside of a charging Tito and slams Tito’s head into Andre’s. Well that’s one thing he’s good for. Dino comes in again but misses a charge into the corner and gets sunset flipped for two. Back to Race for the piledriver for two and he whips Tito in, only to get forearmed out of nowhere for the quick elimination, making it 4-3. Andre climbs in, grabs Tito, chokes him a bit and sits on his chest. For reasons that no one could figure out, Tito tries a freaking sunset flip. Pain immediately comes to his chest and Andre makes it 4-2 (Andre, Dino, Rude, Hennig vs. Duggan and Roberts).

Duggan comes in and clotheslines Andre into the ropes, where he and Jake both get in some open shots on the Giant. Jake chokes away but Andre gets his arms free. Andre, being a smart giant, tags out after getting beaten up that badly and brings in Rude. Rude whips Jake into the buckle a few times as we hear about the Cheryl Roberts story. Off to Hennig with some chops and Andre kicks a bit from the apron because that’s what evil giants do.

Hennig slingshots Duggan throat first into the bottom rope so Andre can choke a bit more. Off to Bravo who gets beaten on by a suddenly fired up Roberts. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude leans in to break it up. Rick comes in legally now and stomps away like he’s still in Memphis, which means very slowly with a lot of playing to the crowd in between.

Dino piledrives Jake for two but an elbow drop misses and here’s Hacksaw again. Duggan sends him into the corner and literally throws him out before clotheslining him down. The Three Point Clothesline is loaded up but Frenchy Martin, Bravo’s manager, hooks Duggan’s foot. Bravo slams Duggan on the floor so Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 for the DQ, leaving Roberts alone 3-1. Bravo manages to get a tag to Hennig before Jake can pin him so Roberts punches Perfect instead.

The DDT is loaded up but Perfect makes the corner and it’s off to Dino again. Jake, likely drunk, tries a test of strength with a guy billed as the world’s strongest man. When that doesn’t work Jake tries another DDT but is backdropped this time instead. Back to Rude and Jake heads to the floor to think. Well he is considered a master of psychology so thinking is what he does. That and cocaine.

Back in and Rude takes over again, hitting a gutbuster on the Snake. Would that even hurt a snake? Off to a bearhug but Jake quickly thumbs him in the eye. Rude hits a top rope punch and swivels the hips a bit, only to have his tights pulled down and DDTed for the elimination. Andre comes in and hammers Jake before choking him in the corner….for a DQ. It’s two on one which means nothing as Hennig immediately covers Jake for the pin and the final elimination.

Rating: C-. The lower half of this match being pretty weak really hurts it. Other than Jake, Andre and Duggan, at this point most of these guys didn’t mean much. Rude was on his way up but he was still a glorified midcard guy here. Just not a very interesting match and it definitely didn’t need to go half an hour.

Jake puts the snake in post match but Andre is gone before it can get to him.

Andre says he said he would win and he did. He is NOT afraid of snakes though.

Jake says that he’ll take care of business with Damien. Next year, he’ll get his revenge.

The Twin Towers’ team is all ready.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.

They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

Liz hugs Hogan post match and you can see Savage getting madder and madder. See, the key to the old feuds is you see the things happen and THEN you get the turn, rather than getting the turn and then the explanation. In other words, it wasn’t all about shock.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely not as good as last year’s, but in this case you should check out the full version instead of the clipped one, because the clipped one shaves off like an hour of it and the interviews are different as well. The matches are much more hit and miss here, but thankfully they’ll tweak things a bit next year by going with four man teams and shorter matches, which does a lot of good for the pacing of the show. Also, did we really need guys like Koko B. Ware and Red Rooster in the main event? Really? Anyway, not a terrible show (the clipped version is a terrible tape) but certainly not as good as last year’s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D
Redo: C

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Original: A
Redo: A

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: F
Redo: C-

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: C+
Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+
Redo: B

I’ve heard of getting better with age but this is a big change. I guess I’ve really grown to appreciate late 80s WWF more than I thought.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

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Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

So we’ve arrived at the second annual Survivor Series. Things are a bit different now, with the main difference being that Savage is your world champion, having won the tournament at WM 4. Your main feud here is the Mega Powers vs. the Twin Towers, more commonly known as the Big Boss Man and Akeem, or the One Man Gang. They’re feuding with the Mega Powers because they’re monster heels and the names rhyme.

DiBiase is in the main event because he just doesn’t like Hogan, and Rooster and Haku are in it because they’re members of the Heenan Family who hates Hogan as well. On the other side you have Hercules, who is mad because he was sold like a slave to DiBiase and turned face because of it, Hillbilly Jim because he was Hogan’s best friend of the month, and Koko because we needed another Hall of Fame member in here.

This show as well as the next one are notorious for being slapped by substitutions. For instance, Jim Brunzell is in the opening match as a singles wrestler. He’s replacing Don Muraco, who was fired, more than likely due to a high level of suck. Brunzell’s team, the Killer Bees, had broken up due to being jobbers. Blair was supposed to be the replacement for Junkyard Dog, who left to head back to the NWA right after he and Rude started feuding.

However, Blair quit because he didn’t want to be a jobber so he was replaced by the immortal Scott Casey. This would be about like putting A-1 from the old days of TNA in the main event. People know his name, but that’s about it. He was completely off the wall and from out of absolute left field, so he’s one of the more infamous picks in history.

Also, we have a HUGE tag team survivor match, which is famous for something at the end which I’ll get to later. Anyway, this was a tape I always wanted from Blockbuster but it was stolen so I never got to see it. I think I saw it once about 15 years ago, so this is going to be new for me as well. Let’s do it.

Oddly enough, Gene does the introductions. Jesse and Gorilla are the commentators, but they just do the talking.

Ultimate Warrior’s Team vs. Honky Tonk Man’s Team

Warrior’s Team: Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Blue Blazer, Jim Brunzell

Honky’s Team: Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine, Bad News Brown

Ok so let me get this straight. Honky got annihilated last year so he has 60% of the same team now, including a former referee who somehow got worse in the last year, but he replaces Hercules with Greg Valentine (upgrade) and Harley Race with a guy that is a career loner. …right. Yeah this is going to go bad. However, that’s not much of a face team over there.

Warrior of course is insane as always, Brutus is fine, but Sam Houston never did anything, Brunzell is half of a career jobbing tag team, and Blue Blazer was a comedy character to an extent, although Owen of course was very talented. Dang Beefcake comes out to Warrior’s music. Actually they all do. Oh yeah you might want to know the feuds. Warrior had stolen the IC Title from Honky in about a minute at Summerslam.

Brutus and the other three are just there. Can you imagine Warrior’s recruitment speeches? Brutus is co-captain here for no apparent reason. Maybe because it was supposed to be him facing Honky at Summerslam I guess. For the heels…yeah there’s nothing I guess. I think Houston and Bass were feuding but it went nowhere. For those of you that don’t know, Houston is the half brother of Jake Roberts.

Yeah the talent was clearly in the mother’s side of the family. Brown is already described as a loner. Gorilla once against says that they’re hanging from the rafters. No they’re actually not Monsoon. Just as he was last year, Brutus is your first face in the match. Valentine is rocking the chic yellow and blue. I’m trying to be nice by saying chic.

Holy crud Davis is gone in about a minute. Well at least they didn’t waste time. He’s “asleep”. I never got that. If the sleeper hold is that powerful and can knock someone out in 8 seconds, why aren’t doctors trained in it in medical school? It would eliminate the need for sleeping pills. Oh dear Jim Brunzell. What was the point in putting him on this team? Was there NO ONE else available?

Seriously, this is the best you can find? He’s rocking some silver/gray/red tights which I suppose is better than what the Bees wore. I’ve always liked that old Survivor Series logo, the one that looks like stones. It’s just cool looking, as most 80s wrestling logos were. Brown comes in and just dominates. I guess he would be co-captain by default? Why not I suppose as he’s the biggest star on the heel team other than Honky.

After just beating Brunzell up, the Ghetto Blaster, which has to be the coolest name for a move in history, eliminates the Bee. DAng  we’re down two inside of 6 minutes. Houston comes in now. Good night is he small. He was supposed to be some tough Texas guy but I’m not sure if he weighs more than 215lbs. He tries to beat on Bad News and shockingly, this doesn’t work.

I love seeing tough heels beat on small people. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m a natural heel. Anyway, after more bad offense from the faces, Hammer tags in Bad News and accidentally hits him. Yep, this isn’t going to end well at all. They’re pulled apart and Bad News just walks out for the count out. Why would you pick him anyway?

I get that he’s a tough fighter but dang man, at least pick someone that you can trust. Wait, they’re heels. You’re not supposed to trust them. Either way, Brown was awesome as possible and this was even more proof. When you’re a heel that doesn’t even get involved with other heels, then you know it’s awesome.

For the next two minutes or so, Houston doesn’t tag out. Now I know that doesn’t sound like a long time, but when you consider that there are three other guys on his team to tag, that’s an eternity. Even Gorilla is getting on him about not tagging. This would be fine if it was Bret or Tully or someone with you know, that thing called a lot of talent.

Houston is just flat out boring. He’s like the X-Pac of this match: he’s fine against guys of his own size, but not against monsters. I don’t know if the non tagging thing was planned or not, but if it wasn’t, his career is pretty much over. Oh wait. This is the highlight of his career more than likely though, so ignore that. Gorilla says this is the biggest match he’s ever been in, which is wrong as he was in the opener for Wrestlemania this year, so no he’s been in big matches before.

Like I was saying about not fighting bigger guys, the issue with this is shown as Bass powerslams him and easily beats him. Blue Blazer finally comes in as we haven’t seen Warrior yet. Honky is brought in so at least he can waste his time in there. Yeah he was barely in. Back off to Hammer as I can’t help but think that Blazer looks like he’s wearing a diaper. Seriously, it’s a blue singlet with white/gray tights.

He goes up top and in a very stupid looking sequence, Honky shoves him off. This apparently injures his knees badly enough for the figure four to take him out. That leaves us with Honky, Bass and Valentine against Brutus and Warrior. Something tells me this isn’t going to go well for the heels. When the best thing you’ve got is an over the hill Greg Valentine, that’s a bad place to be. My goodness he might be the best thing in this match since there’s no Brutus music.

Brutus and Honky are in here now, and I smell a double elimination coming. Honky’s tights says Wild Thing. Make your own jokes about that. The sleeper leads to a sleeper on the floor and there it is: the double count out. Ok so I knew that was coming so what? So we have Warrior against two people slightly above jobber status.

I’ll say they last 2 minutes max. Yep, after 2 minutes 10 seconds and a pair of double axe handles to the head (wtf?) and Warrior wins after having a total of about 2 minutes in the ring. This was REALLY bad.

Rating: D. Yeah, this was horrible. It was a bunch of jobbers waiting for Warrior to come in and beat people up. It went almost 20 minutes and I was falling asleep for part of that, and this is coming from someone that’s a huge late 80s WWF fan.

It was just flat out bad all around with no real highlights, no good workers, and just a pointless match all around. Horrible and by far and away the worst SS match to date, and also the only under 20 minutes so far I believe. Actually that’s not true as the first match went 18:50.

Bad News Brown said he showed that he’s a loner and he wants to be the next WWF Champion. There was allegedly a plan to make that happen, but depending on who you ask, Vince was either a racist or just lied. If this tells you anything about Brown, consider this. He was on a tour in Japan with Andre the Giant.

Andre made a racist comment and Brown got off the bus and challenged Andre to a legit fight. Andre backed down. Brown was a legit fighter, having won a bronze medal in Judo in the Olympics, the only American to ever medal in the heavyweight division.

Warrior says that his whole team won. At least that’s what I think he said.

Demolition’s Team vs. Power’s of Pain’s Team

This is the epic tag team match that lasts over 40 minutes. The ending is by far and away the most famous part of it and I’ll explain why when we get there. Here are the lineups.

Demolition’s Team: Brain Busters, The Conquistadors, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers.

Powers of Pain’s Team: Rockers, Young Stallions, Hart Foundation, British Bulldogs.

Yes the Powers of Pain are indeed the faces here and have some pretty good music. Rockers are the epitome of rookies here as they’ve only been in the company a few months. Harts are still going strong, the Stallions look somehow more interested in each other than Legacy does, and the Bulldogs are on the verge of leaving, as they would be gone before the night was over, due mainly to them not being needed anymore but also due to a fight between Dynamite and Jacques Rougeau.

There are 20 people in the ring which is a pretty cool visual. The same rules apply as last year as it’s one member of a team being eliminated means his partner is gone too. Jimmy, Bobby, Fuji and Slick meet at ringside. Is anyone missing there from the late 80s managers? We start up with Davey against one of the Conquistadors. They were a pair of jobbers that Edge and Christian imitated in I think 2000 or 2001 in a hilariously funny bit.

Shawn is insanely fast out there. He must be on the good drugs tonight. The camera angle is very odd here as it’s mainly coming from the corner of the ring. It’s not bad but it’s very odd and actually a bit hard to get used to. I think the ring mic is broken as for a bit there’s no sound coming from any of the bumps. My goodness Blanchard and Anderson were awesome. For some reason Jesse still can’t tell the Rougeaus apart, DESPITE THEM LOOKING NOTHING ALIKE!

Good grief Gorilla rambles at times. It’s rare but when it happens it blows away JR’s badness. The crowd pops big for Bret as even back then they knew how big of a star he would be. He gets rid of the Rougeaus to clear the ring out a bit thank goodness.

I love how almost immediately after a pinfall we get a tag every time. It’s a Stallion against a Bolshevik. The tagging here is ridiculously fast as are the changes in control between the teams. The Harts against Demolition is about as awesome of a tag feud as you would ever find. The crowd kind of pops for the Powers of Pain coming in to fight Demolition which was the main feud of this match. This looks like a screwed up lumberjack match.

This is in the middle of Demolition’s epic reign which would last the better part of two years. Blanchard against Hart now, in what can only be described as a technical masterpiece. Before I’m done typing that Shawn and Axe are in. See what I mean about the speed of the tags? Becca’s soul dies a bit as Shawn is gang attacked in the corner. Arn hits a spinebuster. What do we call that?

Since it has to be attributed to someone else because no one but AA ever did it, how do we attribute it to the guy that made it famous? Jesse continues to make fun of Gorilla’s age which never ceased to make me laugh. Why was that spinning kick that Volkoff did considered impressive? It gets all of a foot off the ground and typically hits the upper thigh. Why is that considered impressive? Warlord somehow almost botches a slam. That’s hard to do.

Jesse says that Warlord is beating up Axe as Warlord is being knocked all over the place. I love wrestling announcers. Barbarian hits a….he hit a…what in the heck was that? It looked like a kick to the face but apparently it hit Smash in the ribs? I have no idea what he did but I don’t think it worked that well. We’re at almost 15 minutes here and we’ve had one elimination. I see why this took so long to do. Why is it that powerslams always look awesome?

Boris eliminates the Young Stallions who Jesse was raving about earlier on, talking about how improved they were. Let’s see. Last year they were one of two surviving teams and this year they’re out second. Jesse is usually great but yeah he missed on this one. And they lost to the Bolsheviks. Who in the world loses to the freaking BOLSHEVIKS?

Shawn beats on the fake Russian for a bit. See, that’s a sign of how horrid you are: if Shawn Michaels from the late 80s can beat you up, you really do suck. As they have all night, Demolition whips some Powers of Pain. I think I detect a slight boring chant. Why? This is pretty good stuff.

In a very quick set of moves, the Russians are knocked out but the Rockers. WOW how bad does that make the Young Stallions look? Also, they’ve been around at least a year. How long are they going to be young for? As Jesse says at least we can see a bit better now. For those of you that can’t scroll up and read who was on each team, your lineups are now Demolition, Conquistadors and Brain Busters vs. Rockers, Bulldogs, Powers of Pain and Harts.

Tully is getting into masterful levels of 80s heel work here. He makes it look so easy that it’s scary. Gorilla says we’re getting close to the, as he made famous, nitty gritty. No, not really. Of 9 teams that could be eliminated, we’ve gotten rid of 3. At the most one team is 40% done. How is that getting down to the end? The Conquistadors are just so completely worthless it’s hilarious. I never remember them doing anything at all.

Come to think of it I don’t remember them ever wrestling other than this. The Brain Busters are managed by the Brain. Does that mean they beat up their manager? Is he working for them out of fear? I think this was a Horseman coup that was never followed up on. Yeah that must be it. I need my medicine. Smash uses that really bad hold where he just twists the neck of the other guy to one side.

I get how that could hurt, but is that seriously the best you can do? Is there NOTHING else that you could do to make things at least look painful? Jesse desperately tries to cover up for this by talking about how the wrestlers train their necks but even a politician can’t convince me that he’s trying to hide something. Actually that might be why I don’t believe him.

I officially love this match as we’ve had two jumping reverse elbows. Hart comes in and just about kills Tully. Bret with a German suplex but Tully gets the pin. I love how Bret has to drop his shoulders as he realizes he did the move perfectly and had to make sure he screwed up. The Busters and the Rockers start a big brawl in the ring, complete with Smash yelling to take him out to one of the Busters.

All four are eliminated so we’ve got Demolition and the Conquistadors vs. Powers of Pain and the Bulldogs. The booing for both teams being thrown out is great. They fight up the aisle as I believe this would lead to a great 2/3 falls match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. I believe we have a Pat Patterson sighting as he tries to break this up. That’s just humorous.

After 28 minutes, we’ve arrived at what was the standard Survivor Series match for the 90s. I’ve always wondered how we went from 5 to 4 with no apparent reason. It would change over next year with no explanation as to why. I’d certainly assume that it was time, but at least letting us know would be nice. After half an hour we finally discuss how to tell the Conquistadors apart.

Thanks for the rapid timing of that one guys. Now we’re in some great 80s tag stuff here. Now that’s not to say the rest of this hasn’t been awesome because it has, but this is actually the best it’s been so far. Davey was so freakishly strong it’s scary. The commentators try so hard to keep from calling the Powers of Pain idiots but you can tell they’re about to crack. Jesse says that we’re finally getting to Demolition vs. the Powers of Pain.

It’s not as good as the third time it happened earlier, it’s about equal to the first, but it’s miles ahead of the second. I wonder if Stu taught his people how to do that basic cover. Bret always used it and now Dynamite is. It’s the one where he just kind of lays over the shoulders with his hand on the far wrist and is kind of leaning up. You’d know it if you saw it I’m sure. Jesse continues to rave about the Conquistadors.

Demolition gets it down to 2-1 by eliminating the Bulldogs. Oh dear that means it’s all Powers of Pain from here on out. Someone help me please. I can’t do this on my own. Oh yeah I have to because no one else is stupid enough to review a show that I don’t have to put up until November in mid-August. Fuji gets up on the apron with the heels in control which rightly confuses the announcers. Jesse asks if Gorilla would buy a used car from Fuji.

Oddly enough he asked the same about Slick at WM 4. That’s an odd question to ask. Fuji gets up there again and even Jesse has no idea why. Oddly enough, Fuji pulls the top rope down and causes Smash to fall to the floor, despite him being Fuji’s talent. This causes Demolition to be eliminated. Axe goes after him and Fuji says that he’s the boss so he makes the decisions. Fuji nails Axe with the cane which of course does nothing.

Demolition beats up Fuji to completely turn face to a great pop. I don’t want to see Fuji’s stomach. This leaves the Powers of Pain against the Conquistadors. The “faces” go to the floor and helps Fuji up, turning them heel, AND WE HAVE A DOUBLE TURN!

Yes, in only the second time in history that I can remember it (the other being Hart vs. Austin at WM 13), we have the unbelievably rare double turn. The problem was that Demolition was getting no heat at all as they were so wildly popular, and the Powers of Pain were getting very small face pops but major heat, mainly due to the fact that neither were very good in the ring at all.. They were definitely going to be the big feud in the near future, so this was the solution.

This is why the match is famous as it not only set up the handicap tag title match at Wrestlemania 5 with the Powers of Pain and Fuji against Demolition, but it also gave us the double turn. The turn by the Powers of Pain was almost a huge sigh of relief for the fans as it gave the fans almost exactly what they wanted. Fuji hooks the leg of the Conquistador to allow Barbarian to hit a headbutt for the pin, and a huge pop?

Why? Why after that heel turn would you pop bigger for the heels than you did when they were faces? Where is this show again? Oh yeah it’s outside of Cleveland. Dang I can’t make fun of the city since I’m an Indians fan. Did we just have heel vs. heel for the final two there? Fuji celebrates with the Powers of Pain after the match, which confuses the announcers to no end. Demolition comes back out and beat up the Powers of Pain.

Don’t you just love how a simple heel turn makes the indestructible faces very destructible all of a sudden? The fans aren’t really sure what happened which is understandable I guess. See this is why promos can be so important. In a simple promo which I’m sure is coming, this whole thing can be explained.

It could be confusing here as maybe Fuji turned face and Demolition continued being heels by beating up the now face manager to go with the face team. We hear what happened by the announcers, but no one in the arena can hear that. Like I said, a simple promo clears everything up here, which is the power of the microphone I suppose.

Rating: A. Not just for the double turn, but for how great the match as a whole was. This was just flat out awesome on all levels. It was more or less every great 80s tag team in there at once and even complete with jobbers to fill in the gaps. The tagging speed was off the charts to say the least and everything worked very well. This is far better than last year’s tag one, which is saying a lot as last year’s was great. This is great stuff though and well worth checking out.

Jake Robert’s Team vs. Andre the Giant’s Team

Jake’s Team: Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana, Ken Patera

Andre’s Team: Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude

Well, this is a far better list of guys than in the other singles match but that’s really not saying a lot. We have Hacksaw and Jake who are both feuding with Andre as Hacksaw actually knocked him out cold with the 2×4 and Jake was just feuding with him. Jake was also fighting Rude over his wife which I believe actually was an issue in real life. The others, as usual, are just there for the sake of being there which is a problem in these matches.

Often times there’s no point at all for them being there and it can just get annoying and make you try to come up with a reason when there isn’t one. I think most of the heels are just there because they’re members of the Heenan Family. I have a very bad feeling about this match as there’s three big names out there with Andre, Roberts and Duggan, and Andre is hurt at this point.

Perfect isn’t a big deal yet at all, Casey is a no name, Santana is a jobber for the most part and Patera would be gone by the end of the year, mainly due to him just being horrid. On the other side, Race is old and is here because he’s almost broke, Rude is just hitting his stride so we’ll say he’s good too I guess, and Bravo was just there to help other more talented guys for his entire career. And I’m right.

The first at least 5 minutes of this is just horrid with the faces beating on the heels which no one can realistically believe. That of course leads to Patera missing one move and getting eliminated by the Rude Awakening. Wow that was really stupid. The announcers talk about how his skills are diminishing and he should consider retiring. Yeah that’s a nice thing to say about him.

He’d be gone and in the AWA within a few months, so maybe he listened to the commentary. Casey comes in immediately and is immediately crushed. Well that was nice of Rude. At least he didn’t let Casey think he was talented or anything. The announcers amuse me greatly as they try to come up with accolades for Casey but they have to be as vague as possible since they know nothing at all about him.

His looks aren’t helping much either as he’s just short and kind of fat. He looks a bit like Eugene actually but with a porn mustache. Race actually hits a decent looking dropkick on him. Then, in one of the weirdest botches I’ve ever seen, Casey sits up to avoid an elbow. Casey sells it like he hit it though. Someone missed their cue here. We have a guy that’s never been seen before or since, or a 7 time world champion and one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.

I don’t even have a snide finish for that one as you get my point. Jesse points out that it’s weird that Race has so many tattoos. That’s actually a good point. He just doesn’t seem like the tattoo type but he’s certainly got a lot of them. Bravo ends him in about 15 seconds. That was long and painful. This match, like the first one, is just boring. Nothing of note is happening here and it’s just all random skirmishes with nothing of note happening.

Usually I’ll watch a segment and then I’ll pause it and write then start it up again. I don’t have to do that here, as I know I’m not going to miss anything. Wait that might be something. Oh never mind. I thought we might have something interesting there for a second but it wasn’t. A near fall is actually getting me somewhat awake here. That can’t be good. We’re talking 5-6 minutes of just random offense with no drama to it at all.

Why? What is the point to any of this? Even Tito Santana who I’m a big mark for is boring me to death out there, and it’s not like these are bad matchups. Santana against Perfect, Rude or Race sounds quite good to me. This match breaks thirty minutes and it’s just horrid. Normally I would say that you could just drop 10 minutes off of two matches and put in different people, but here that’s just not the case.

The problem is simple: again, we have 50 people wrestling tonight. There’s just not enough people to have a 5th match so the 4 you have are forced to go WAY too long. Now in the tag they pulled it off very nicely. In these other two, they’re just complete and utter failures. See, why are people like Bravo in this? They have no connection to anyone out there at all, so why should we care? In short, we don’t.

FINALLY Santana is out of there and it’s Roberts. No wait. Bravo makes the stop and Santana gets beaten up even more. What is the point to this? It’s 5-3 in case you’re bored and want to see numbers instead of letters. From absolutely nowhere Santana hits the forearm to beat Race. I would love to have seen these two 5-6 years ago with about 20 minutes to work with.

That could have been some great stuff to say the least. Andre immediately comes in and just kills him as we’re finally getting something interesting or at least something pretending to be interesting, ala the bar room at the moment. Those punches from Andre are just flat out scary. Tito, like a freaking idiot, tries a sunset flip. You know where this leads and Duggan is the next guy in. To a HUGE pop, a single shot and Andre is tied up in the ropes.

All of a sudden the crowd is alive. Roberts comes in and just beats the heck out of Andre. How many people can say that? You know, Jake and Duggan are probably your 3rd and 4th biggest faces at this point, or are at least in contention for that spot along with Warrior. Warrior was just in the midcard at this point while Duggan and Roberts were in a feud with Andre who was of course still a major star at this point.

Hacksaw would be dropped soon though to feud with Bad News which was just horrid as they were the exact same style. Now we get back to the problem of this match: nothing happens for long stretches of time. Here’s a summary of the next five minutes: face gets pounded on, face makes a short comeback, face gets pounded on, face makes a short comeback, face tags, face gets pounded on, face makes a short comeback. This is just boring me to death.

Duggan is in there now after Roberts was beaten half to death. What’s this? It looks like a short comeback. Like the idiot that he is, Duggan gets the 2×4 and beats on Bravo with it to make this 4-1. For another SEVEN FREAKING MINUTES Jake gets beaten down and makes small comebacks. In other words, in about 14 minutes we had one moment that was close to interesting. Everybody beats on him for about two minutes each.

FINALLY Rude gyrates over him and gets a DDT for his trouble to eliminate him and breathe some life back into him. Andre comes in and beats/chokes Jake half to death to get disqualified. It’s 2-1 but Jake is just dead. He choked him for probably 35-40 seconds straight so Jake should be dead.

Andre headbutts him and Perfect just walks in and covers him to win it. Perfect is called Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig which sounds kind of odd. Jake gets the snake to a big pop but there’s no one in the ring. Jesse says that this was too little too later which is true.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. There was about 20-25 minutes of dead spots here and no one wanted to see it. It was mainly jobbers that weren’t interesting and it was about getting Jake or Hacksaw against Andre which happened for all of 45 seconds. This was just flat out boring and I was flipping through the channels while this happened. That’s never happened while I was watching a major show before. I HATED this match.

Andre takes offense to Sean suggesting that he’s afraid of snakes and that he’ll beat Jake…whenever they fight that is.

Jake says that he did ok considering it was 4-1 and that he’s not going to cry. He also calls the show survival series.

Mega Powers Team vs. Twin Towers Team

We’re at the main event of the longest PPV of all time, or at least it seems like it. Either way, this is the last of the four matches. The lineups read like this.

Mega Powers: Hogan, Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Twin Towers: Akeem, Big Bossman, Red Rooster, Haku, Ted DiBiase

Savage gets a HUGE pop. See what a guy with talent can get out of the crowd? Jesse butchers the name of the world title which is hard to do. Fink sounds like he’s on speed or something. Mark this down: Koko and Terry Taylor are main eventing a major PPV. This will NEVER happen again. How in the world are Savage and DiBiase not in the Hall of Fame but Ware is?

Of the ten people in this match, 4 of them I could see being in the Hall of Fame: Hogan, Savage, DiBiase, Boss Man. Boss Man is by far the biggest stretch but he would at least make a touch of sense. Koko makes less than no sense. Dang even the announcer belongs in there more than he does. Speaking of which, has there ever been a more lackluster induction than Fink? No one ever brings up that he’s in the Hall of Fame, despite him being one of the oldest and more beloved employees in the company.

I’ve already explained the reasons for the feuds so I’ll spare you from a repeat. Hogan’s pop is otherworldly. We start off with a rematch of the main event of Wrestlemania as Savage and DiBiase are going at it once again. If you can find it, and it might be on the Savage DVD, find the cage match that these two have. It’s absolutely great. Gorilla and Jesse praise DiBiase and call him championship material.

Truer words have never been spoken. For those of you that have never read my Wrestlemania 4 review, there’s an interesting story on the original plans for Wrestlemania 4. In case you’ve forgotten, DiBiase had a master plan which involved Andre taking out Hogan or at least wearing him down enough so that DiBiase would win the tournament and therefore the title. Savage would have been facing Honky for the IC Title and wouldn’t be an issue.

In the original booking, that was going to be what happened: DiBiase’s plan worked and he would be champion over the summer with Hogan chasing him for the one on one rematch but never getting the clean win. Savage would take the title at Summerslam which I guess would have also had Hogan-Andre 3 or something. Then the Mega Powers angle would have been 8 months long instead of a year.

Savage would have been IC champion and having a feud with Bigelow and dropping the belt to him before fighting DiBiase, although I’ve heard the Bigelow story from far fewer sources. That’s actually not a horrible idea and I really like it. However, Honky more or less cried about losing the title so we got what we got now.

ANYWAY, they’re fighting here and now in a non title match at the beginning of the main event of the longest feeling show of all time. See, even the descriptions have to be overly long. Actually they’re not as Hercules is in now. Rooster goes for some hold that would later be called the sharpshooter. The idea behind Rooster at this point was more or less Heenan saying he could manage anyone to success, even a no talent guy like chicken boy over here.

Oh yay it’s Koko vs. Rooster in a real cock fight. What? Haku, the second most successful member of his team and the current King of the WWF is in now. The announcers question tagging in Hercules again when he’s already been in. Is he tired after all of a minute in the ring and a minute rest? I know he’s not the best wrestler in the world but give him some credit. Hogan beats on Haku for awhile before Jim gets in.

Hogan gave Jim his first pair of boots which was actually a fairly sweet moment. The Red Rooster is wrestling Hillbilly Jim. My goodness this is weird to write for the main event of a PPV. Jim is the epitome of a guy that found something that worked and RAN with it. The key to Jim was simple: give him to the fans in small doses and they simply won’t get tired of him.

I can almost guarantee you that if Jim came out for a one night appearance in his traditional stuff and clapped to his song on Raw, he would get one of the biggest pops you could imagine. The fans just bought into it and it worked. Another key: he was never really a serious character and that was another key. WWE needs to understand something: not every character can reach the main event. Eugene is the best example.

As a comedy character that did random things he was INSANELY over. They put him in a big storyline and he was booed out of the building. Jim never really went past the midcard, but he’s a beloved legend that has a job to this day. See what being a goofy character and accepting that can get you? On a random note, how many times will you have a pair of Kentucky boys (Savage and Jim) in the same main event? Hogan and Rooster. KILL HIM HULK!

It’s no surprise that Taylor kept a job for so long since Vince loves cocks. Elbow kills Taylor to make it 5-4. All five have this massive party in the ring over it. The world champion pinned a jobber after everyone beat on him. Is this worth a celebration? Time for Haku and Savage. Ok make that Hulk. Yeah these fast tags are getting annoying. Haku gets a dropkick and almost misses Hogan because he’s so high in the air. That’s freaking impressive.

Jim and Akeem hammer on each other for awhile but Air Africa ends the country boy. Oh look it’s Koko again. He’s in for about 20 seconds so life is good again as Hogan replaces him. He actually uses a full nelson to hold Savage in place. Hogan used a decent submission. You’ll probably never see that again. After about 3 shots by Akeem, Koko gets Bossman Slammed and is gone thank goodness.

It’s time for Hogan against Boss Man which is the major showdown of this match. Amazingly, they would be best friends in two years. However to be fair, the storyline actually made a lot of sense when Boss Man turned face as he said he was upset that DiBiase lied about a crime being committed, which fit the character really well so at least it made sense. Hogan signals for the slam which looks like he’s raising the roof which is a stupid video waiting to happen.

Akeem comes in and the big men beat on Hogan for awhile. Hercules and Savage just watch this happen. Maybe they’re talking about how they’ve patched up their differences since last year. DiBiase FINALLY is back in as he hasn’t been in for about 15 minutes now. I’ve always loved that falling punch. Gorilla infringes on a gimmick as he says that DiBiase has excellence of execution. That’s not fair!

Hercules beats the heck out of DiBiase for awhile. Virgil trips Hercules and DiBiase pins him, making it 4-2. DiBiase is yelling at Hercules as he’s leaving and Savage makes a brilliant move and sneaks up on him for a fast rollup to eliminate him which was perfectly legal. Hercules was eliminated and Savage legally came in as the next man and pinned him. What follows is three boring minutes of the heels beating on Hogan.

It’s much shorter than the other beatdowns so I guess it’s better. It’s also Hogan being beaten on so at least it’s someone people care about. Anyway, he makes the tag and Savage holds off all three at once. That’s pretty impressive but the way they do it is believable which is appreciated. Slick goes after Liz once Boss Man catches Savage. Hogan goes for the save and all three beat on him and handcuff him to the bottom rope.

In doing so, Bossman is counted out so it’s 2-2 but Hogan is cuffed. He beats on Hogan with the nightstick for awhile to really bust him up. Akeem is disqualified in a rather lame method to make it the Mega Powers against Haku. It just looked stupid to say the least. After Haku hits some basic offense on Savage, he misses a kick to Savage which hits Slick, knocking the key out of his hand. Hogan picks it up to escape. Savage tags him in and you know the rest.

Rating: D+. This needed to be 3-3 instead of 5-5. The ending was fine but the beginning was just a waste of time. Rooster, Koko, Jim and Haku were completely worthless here. At least the Twin Towers vs. the Mega Powers and Hercules vs. DiBiase were established feuds that had been built up.

This is the problem with the Survivor Series concept: it prevents matches like DiBiase and Hercules from happening and we need guys like the previously mentioned four to fill in the rest of the team spots and they’re just wastes. The ending was fine once we got rid of the nonsense, but the rest was just bad.

Jesse is with Savage and he eggs him on, saying that Savage is pissed off at Hogan. Savage says that it was just being glad that they won. Jesse keeps egging him on. Savage says the same thing and leaves. Of course, Savage would turn heel soon enough. Gene says good night…and that’s it?

Overall Rating: D+. This show is awful. There is one good match of the four but it goes on first and by the end it’s forgotten. This was just filler to get to the Main Event on February 3 where Savage would cut the promo of a lifetime and turn heel, going insane on Hogan and setting up the BIGGEST match possible with Hogan vs. Savage at WM 5.

That actually had the potential to match Hogan vs. Andre as far as huge and while I still thing Savage should have won that to set up Hogan vs. Savage 2 at Summerslam, it was fine. That’s a rant for a different time though, so we have this instead. That all being said, this was terrible. It was filled with all kinds of jobbers and of course the injuries hurt things a lot as well, with guys like Brunzell and Casey being on the card.

Watch the tag match and otherwise skip this. It is in DESPERATE need of 2-4 regular matches to take away about ten minutes from each match. If you factor out about 15 from each, they instantly go way up in value. It just killed the whole show dead. I really don’t want to see a 30 minute match with guys like Patera against Bravo and Santana being beaten on.

It just went on WAY too long. Other than the tag team match, the time just went on way too long. Check out the opener, which at 42 minutes has to be the longest in history, and other than that, ignore this like the plague.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 21,300
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

So we’re here in Richfield, just outside of Cleveland, where the first two of these shows would take place. There are four matches on the card tonight but none of them compare to the main event which has Andre vs. Hogan. The idea is that it gives Andre a chance for revenge and a chance for Hogan to prove that his initial win wasn’t a fluke. This was still the money match in the company so it’s a huge deal. Let’s get to it.

The Fink introduces Jesse and Gorilla which is something you don’t often see anymore.

After a highlight package we’re ready to go.

Gorilla and Jess talk about the whole card, all four matches on it. They also explain the rules, which I’m sure most of you are familiar with. We have ten man (or woman or team) tag team matches and it’s standard elimination rules, meaning you can be out via pin, submission, countout or DQ. Also you can be put out via a referee’s discretion due to injury but that never actually happens as far as I remember.

Team Honky (there’s a name you could never get away with today) is ready for Team Savage and Honky says he’ll shake rattle and roll Elizabeth. He’s already shoved her down which is a big deal as Liz was like the ultimate untouchable woman.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Hercules
Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake

Honky doesn’t have Cool Cocky bad as his theme music yet which is a shame. It’s amazing how great the music got in the late 80s. After the heel entrances, Team Savage says they’re here to settle scores. This was a different time as almost all of the faces were friends by default as were the heels just because they were faces and heels. The feuds going into this are Honky vs. Savage and Race vs. Duggan. Other than that the guys are just random midcarders who are faces or heels on a team, which is a pretty cool idea.

The place erupts for Savage’s entrance. Even Jesse couldn’t deny how great Randy was and was a huge fan in his own right. It was clear they had to do something with him soon, and they certainly did soon enough. In the answer to a trivia question, it’s Beefcake vs. Hercules starting the first Survivor Series match ever. Beefcake struts a bit and not much goes on for the first 20 seconds or so.

Hercules (guess what he’s known for) runs Beefcake over but walks into Barber’s sleeper but he falls into his corner to tag in Davis, one of the lowest lever guys you’ll ever find who somehow wasn’t a jobber. He’s a wrestling referee. Seriously, that’s the extent of his gimmick. He’s a referee who cheated a lot and got fired. Savage and Steamboat (who are apparently fine after wanting to kill each other about eight months ago) take turns on Davis but Steamboat misses a charge and it’s off to Race, the current King of the WWF.

Steamboat chops Race in the head and man alive how amazing would those two be able to be in a long old school program? Steamboat skins the cat (I’ve asked this many times, but is that really the best name they could come up with for that? I mean, skinning a cat?) and sends Race to the floor before bringing in Duggan to pound away on Race, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw heads out with him and they brawl to a double countout, making it 4-4.

Bass (a standard old school cowboy) comes in to face Roberts but it’s quickly off to Savage. A knee sends Bass into the corner and Savage is starting to roll very fast. Savage immediately goes after Honky due to the really bad blood between the two of them and it’s lets Bass get in a shot. Off to the IC Champion (Honky) who gets in some cheap shots but like any good heel, he tags out when Savage starts coming back.

Bass comes in again but a blind tag brings in Barber (Beefcake for you younguns) who hits a high knee for the elimination. Hercules comes in and the bad guys start working over Beefcake’s arm. Off to Honky with an armbar and then right back to Herc. Wisely they’re keeping that schmuck Danny Davis out of there. I guess he’s there because he works for Jimmy Hart but other than that there’s no logical reason for him to be there.

Beefcake tries to punch his way out of trouble but Honky stays on the arm. To say Honky wasn’t much on offense is an understatement as he barely looks to be cranking on the hold at all. Beefcake fights out of the hold but won’t tag because he’s kind of dumb. Davis adds the only thing he’s going to add the whole match and knees Beefcake in the back so that Honky can hit the Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) for the pin on Beefcake to tie us up at three.

Off to Savage vs. Hercules with the power guy taking over. Davis comes in and things suddenly go downhill for Honky’s team. Yeah, a referee beating on Randy Savage doesn’t work. Who would have guessed? Honky comes in and gets elbowed in the head which lets Savage tag in Jake to pound away. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Jake charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Herc. That goes nowhere so here’s Davis and since his offense sucks (BECAUSE HE’S A REFEREE) Jake shrugs it all off and DDTs him to death, making it 3-2 (Savage/Steamboat/Roberts vs. Hercules/Honky).

Herc comes in and takes Jake down and Savage tries to come in for a save, which just allows the heels to double team Jake. Savage isn’t thinking here because of his anger, almost like…..a savage. Oh you’re very clever WWF. Honky hooks a chinlock and Hercules comes in to do the same. Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat who cleans house with chops.

A top rope chop has Herc reeling and it’s off to Savage for the elbow. It’s just Honky left and Savage explodes on him, only to miss another charge (third one for Savage’s team) and let Honky get in some offense. That lasts all of six seconds as the beating continues. Jake comes in and pounds away on him, followed by Savage dropping a double ax. An atomic drop sends Honky to the floor and he’s like screw this and takes the countout. Can you blame him?

Rating: B. This was a really fun match with a good story to it. The fans HATED Honky and the idea of getting him caught at the end with no one to defend him had the fans going nuts. Honky vs. Savage was a great feud but it never had a blowoff due to a bunch of backstage stuff. Honky would somehow hold the title nine more months before perhaps the greatest end to a title run ever at Summerslam. This was a great choice for a first match ever for the concept too as it showed how the idea worked and gave the fans something to cheer about too. Really good stuff.

Heenan and Team Andre can’t wait to get their hands on Hogan. We get a clip from the controversial cover at Wrestlemania 3, which when you look at it, Heenan has a point: the referee wouldn’t have been able to see Hogan’s shoulder get up. The point of this is Hogan is going to be caught against all these monsters and then it’s going to be Andre vs. Hogan and Andre will kill him.

Team Fabulous Moolah vs. Team Sensational Sherri

Fabulous Moolah, Jumping Bomb Angels, Velvet McIntyre, Rockin Robin
Sensational Sherri, Glamour Girls, Dawn Marie, Donna Christianello

Sherri recently took the Women’s Title from Moolah who is certainly on the decline in her career. To be fair she’s 64 years old here and had been champion earlier in the year. The Angels are the kind of a team that would blow have blown up the internet if it had existed back then. They were awesome high fliers and I’ve never seen women like them since. Sherri and Velvet start us off as Jesse talks about being in The Running Man.

Sherri beats on Velvet but a cross body puts her down and it’s off to Moolah. Moolah literally pulls in Christianello and it’s off to a Bomb Angel who comes in with a slingshot kick. Back to Velvet as these girls are tagging in and out fast. Velvet gets a quick victory roll on Donna to eliminate her. She was just filling in a spot so that’s a good elimination to get out of the way. Judy Martin of the Glamour Girls (the Women’s Tag Champions. The titles didn’t last long) comes in followed quickly by Dawn Marie (this one is old. The more famous one would be in high school still at this point) who does nothing of note.

Martin is back in vs. Robin, the half sister of Jake Roberts, but it’s quickly back to Marie who is another filler on the team. Robin quick cross bodies her for the pin and it’s 5-3. It’s Kai vs. Izuki now with Izuki flying all over the place before Matrixing out of a cover. Jesse sounds amazed by her and rightfully so given what women’s wrestling was like at this time. A Sin Cara style armdrag takes Kai down and it’s off to Sherri who gets beaten up as well before it’s off to Robin again.

Robin tries a monkey flip out of the corner but the now legal Martin lands on her. The champ (Sherri in this case) comes in with a quick suplex to put Robin out and get us down to 4-3. Izuki comes in and things speed up again. Martin back in and she spins Izuki around by the hair. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to Moolah who hits a better monkey flip than Robin before getting elbowed down by Martin for two.

Off to the Angel that isn’t Izuki vs. Kai but Non-Izuki misses a dropkick. Moolah literally gets dragged into the ring and starts her very old school slow paced offense. Sherri cheats with Martin on a double clothesline to eliminate Moolah and it’s tied at 3-3. Off to Izuki vs. Martin before it’s quickly back to Non-Izuki. Jesse is thrilled with the idea of all the cheating you could do in this match. Velvet puts on a Boston Crab before shifting to a surfboard. McIntyre pulls Sherri in and Sensational hits a kind of gutwrench suplex which drives Velvet’s neck into the mat and I think somewhat legit hurting her back.

Izuki comes in for a few seconds before it’s back to Velvet and Sherri with Velvet hooking a giant swing. Velvet grabs a victory roll for a quick pin and she looks like she’s in agony. She could barely cradle Sherri’s legs. Off to Izuki as Velvet can’t even stand on the apron. Izuki tries to suplex Martin but she’s just too fat. The third attempt finally works but it only gets two. Izuki hooks a body scissors but gets countered into a slingshot. It’s right into her corner and Velvet comes in, only to get caught in an electric chair drop for the pin.

It’s down to the Glamour Girls vs. the Jumping Bomb Angels and the Angels take over very quickly, with Izuki slingshotting Martin onto Kai. Kai kicks Non-Izuki in the back but misses a splash. Izuki hits a top rope crossbody and it’s down to 2-1. Martin comes in and hits something like Wasteland on Izuki for two. Non-Izuki comes in with a top rope knee and things speed up. Jimmy Hart gets dropkicked and a top rope clothesline by Non-Izuki gets the final pin.

Rating: C+. While it wasn’t as good as the opener, this was still pretty solid stuff. The Angels were AWESOME for their time and were still good by today’s standards. This would set up a title match at the first Royal Rumble with the Angels taking the titles. One important difference between today’s women and this generations: these girls were wrestlers who happened to be female. Today the Divas come off as female wrestlers if that makes sense.

Most of Team Hart Foundation says they’re not worried about Team Strike Force. Jimmy Hart pops in and is all messed up after getting dropped.

The Bolsheviks do the Russian National Anthem deal.

Strike Force and company are ready as well.

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Hart Foundation, Bolsheviks, Demolition, Dream Team, Islanders
Strike Force, British Bulldogs, Killer Bees, Young Stallions, Fabulous Rougeaus

The rules here are that if one member of a team is eliminated, both members are out so it’s still just five eliminations needed. Strike Force recently stunned the Harts for the titles. I think you should know every team here. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Dino Bravo and the Stallions are Jim Powers and Paul Roma. I’m a big Strike Force fan so it’s good to see the fans pop loudly for them.

I’ve seen this show many times as it was one of my favorite tapes but I’ve never figured something out: for this and the main event, the lights are turned down. Why would that be the case? It’s clearly darker in the arena now and it’s not a dome with sunlight coming in or anything. I’ve never gotten that. Volkoff and Martel start things off. There are so many people on the apron that you can’t see most of the ring from a standard camera shot.

Volkoff powers him down to start before bringing in Zhukov. Since Zhukov is pretty much worthless, Martel beats him up and brings in Santana for the forearm out of nowhere for the quick pin. Santana’s reward for the pin: he gets to fight Ax. Ax does his pounding but knocks Tito into the corner and it’s off to Jacques Rougeau who speeds things up with a jumping back elbow to take over.

Dino Bravo comes in and the good guys start speeding up their tags. I’m sorry for all of the play by play in this but when you have 18 guys in a match there isn’t much room for analysis or anything else. After Bravo gets beaten up by about five different guys we wind up with Smash vs. Dynamite and the Bulldog (Dynamite) gets caught in the heel corner. Well actually it would be the heel side of the ring because they don’t all fit in one corner but corner sounds better.

Off to Haku and they chop it out before Dynamite tags in a Killer Bee who tags in the other Killer Bee. Neidhart comes in and gets his legs stretched by Brunzell and Roma. Back to Smash and then Ax who beat on the (somehow) future Horseman. I’m not listing a lot of the tags as there are probably five of them a minute and there’s no point in listing off stuff like “Ax comes in and hits Roma once before tagging back out.”

Roma tags in Powers who gets beaten down just as fast as Roma did, so it’s off to Jacques again. Not that it matters much as Jacques misses a cross body and Smash gets a quick pin. That’s good as we’re now down to sixteen guys left in the match. Off to Dynamite vs. Tama but Powers comes in, only to hesitate and gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Neidhart comes in and puts him in an over the shoulder powerbomb position as Haku drops a double ax (is there a single ax?) to the chest.

Off to Roman who gets beaten up by Ax and then Valentine. The Stallions are jobbers for all intents and purposes but they were great at selling so there was a point to having them around. Bravo comes in and hits a gutwrench suplex for two. Roma crawls over and brings in a Killer Bee who tags out to Dynamite almost immediately to face Smash. Smash fires off something similar to Sheamus’ ten forearms but shoves the referee, drawing the DQ to knock out Demolition. Notice that they kept Demolition VERY strong here and didn’t let them get pinned.

Bret immediately comes in and piledrives Dynamite for only two. Jesse immediately starts singing Bret’s praises as he was known to do. Bret misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first and it’s off to Powers again to face Tama. Tama misses a Vader Bomb and there’s the tag to Martel. Rick cleans house but when he puts the Boston Crab on he’s too close to the ropes and Neidhart gets a tag.

Rick gets away enough to bring in Santana who hits the forearm almost immediately for two. The saving shot to the back of Santana’s head by Bret is enough for Neidhart to get a pin and eliminate the champions. To recap, we have the Harts, the Dream Team and the Islanders vs. the Bulldogs, the Stallions and the Bees. At least now things can slow down a lot. Haku hits a HIGH dropkick on Powers as Jesse talks about his great great grandfather coming over on the Mayflower.

Valentine comes in and does Arn Anderson’s jump in the air and get crotched spot. Anvil (Neidhart for you schmucks out there) comes in and hot shots Powers followed by a superkick from Haku. Off to Valentine who has his suplex countered but still blocks the tag by bringing in Hitman. Bret suplexes Powers but Roma is still able to get the tag somehow. Back to Valentine who comes off the middle rope with a shot to the back for two.

In something you rarely see, Bret whips Roma into the ropes and knocks Valentine off the apron. Bret misses a dropkick and there’s the tag to Dynamite. A belly to back gets two for the Kid and it’s off to Roma which is a pretty questionable move given the beating he’s taken. Off to Haku vs. Blair as Roma was only in for a few seconds. Davey comes in and it’s power vs. power. Make that power vs. Powers but Jim misses a corner charge and Haku tags Anvil.

Powers dives away from Bret and it’s time for Davey Boy vs. Bret in a Summerslam 92 preview. Davey uses a perfect gorilla press on Hart and hits the powerslam for two on Haku. Dynamite tries a middle rope headbutt (notice all the similarities between Dynamite and Benoit. Benoit basically cloned himself after Dynamite) on Haku but knocks himself silly, allowing Haku to superkick him for the elimination.

It’s 3-2 now and Roma immediately charges in with a dropkick for two. Off to Bravo who misses an elbow and it’s off to Powers. Why won’t they tag the Bees already? Valentine Hammers away on Powers as do both Harts. Valentine comes in for a second before handing it off to Bravo again. Dino hits his side suplex but tags off to Valentine for the Figure Four, which is countered by a kick to the back. Off to Roma who sunset flips Valentine off the top to make it 2-2 (Stallions/Bees vs. Islanders/Harts).

The Bees double team Anvil in a match that by their own words probably happened 300 times over the years. Brunzell hits a high knee to the face for two and it’s off to Bret who does about as well. Tama comes in and takes out Roma and it’s off to Haku. Haku misses a legdrop and it’s back to Brunzell. Brunzell hiptosses him into the heel corner for some reason and Bret comes back in. Roma gets two off a middle rope fist but Hart comes right back with a belly to back suplex.

The Islanders hit a double headbutt and this referee counts SLOW. Haku pounds on Roma and hits a dropkick which is rather impressive for a guy his size. It’s not quite as impressive as Anvil doing a dropkick of his own (literally 2 seconds after Monsoon says he’d like to see Neidhart try one) though. Bret comes back in and Roma slides between Bret’s legs and tags in Brunzell.

Brunzell tries to slam Hart but Tama dropkicks Bret’s back. Brunzell rolls through and gets a fast pin to eliminate the Harts and get us down to 2-1. Tama hooks a nerve hold on Brunzell followed by a shoulderbreaker from Haku. That gets two so Haku puts on a nerve hold of his own. Now Tama puts on ANOTHER nerve hold. To be fair we’re over half an hour into this so the guys are likely getting tired.

Brunzell tries a sunset flip but there’s no strength in it at all and he only gets two. He FINALLY gets a tag off to Powers who tags in Roma for a powerslam for two. Things start to break down a bit and the Bees being in the ring allow the Islanders to double team Roma a bit. Roma escapes enough to tag Blair but Tama kicks him before Blair can even get in. Tama misses an elbow and it’s off to Brunzell again for some reason. He can barely get Tama over for a backdrop but the signature dropkick gets two. Everything breaks down and Blair puts on his mask (it was a thing the Bees did to cheat) and sunset flips Tama for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match just kept going on and on and it was kind of exhausting to sit through. It runs nearly forty minutes and by the end there were no combinations we hadn’t seen already. You could easily cut out fifteen minutes of this match and it would have improved greatly. If you like tag wrestling, find a copy of this NOW but otherwise be ready to fast forward a lot. It’s not a bad match or anything but man alive is it long.

We get a clip of Ted Dibiase in his limo, bragging about how he’s going to spend Thanksgiving planning his next move. It takes money to survive, not toughness. We get some highlights of DiBiase humiliating some fans for money, including making a woman get on all four’s and bark like a dog. One of the fans shown here would one day become WWE Champion and is more famously known as Rob Van Dam. We also see DiBiase buying out a pool for the day so he can use it for himself. Alberto Del Rio wishes he could do this a quarter as well as DiBiase can.

Here’s Honky Tonk who now has Cool Cocky Bad. Odd. He says he wasn’t beaten and everyone saw it. He’ll take a challenge from anyone, and that includes Hogan. We’re clearly on intermission here.

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Hulk Hogan

Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, Rick Rude
Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff

After Andre’s team comes out, we go to the back for a great late 80s Hogan insane promo. He talks about how hungry all of his team is and apparently he trusts Orndorff again. Muraco is subbing for an injured Billy Graham who would never wrestle again if I remember correctly. To say the place erupts for Hogan is an understatement. Muraco and Rude get things going here. Again there aren’t many feuds going on here other than Hogan vs. Andre. Rude and Orndorff are feuding but other than that I don’t think there were any established programs already.

Rude gets knocked into the corner and quintuple teamed before it’s off to Orndorff for the tag. Paul knocks him around a bit and here’s Hogan to blow the roof off the place again. He drops a bunch of elbows on Rude and here’s Bigelow with a splash for no cover. Bigelow gorilla presses Rude and here’s Patera who never got back to where he was before his jail stint.

Off to Reed who has about as much luck as Rude had earlier. Muraco comes in and dropkicks Reed down as does Orndorff. Paul beats on him for a bit and it’s a double clothesline from Hogan and Orndorff, leading to the big leg and a 5-4 lead for Hogan and company. Andre comes in while Hogan is celebrating, but Joey Marella (Gorilla’s adopted son) says a high five to Patera counted as a tag so the teasing of the crowd continues.

Andre, the Frenchman that he is, thinks Patera is beneath him and tags out to Bundy. Patera clotheslines Bundy down but King tags in Gang to beat on Orndorff. Paul is all like BRING IT ON and punches Gang in the head, only to charge into a knee in the corner to bring him right back down. Off to Rude who gets his own head taken off by a clothesline. It’s been ALL Hulk N Pals so far.

Rude pokes Muraco in the eye and it’s off to Gang, but OMG misses a splash in the corner. Patera gets in and pounds away on Gang even more with right hands and a knee in the corner. Gang goes to the eyes which of course makes Jesse happy. Patera tries to fight back but they clothesline each other and Gang falls on top of him for the pin, making it 4-4. Hogan comes in immediately to take over but quickly brings in Bam Bam for a double big boot.

Bigelow is probably the second most popular guy in the company at this point or third at worst behind only Hogan and Savage. They hit head to head and it’s a double tag to Rude and Orndorff. Paul goes nuts on him but as he loads up the piledriver, Bundy jumps him from behind, giving Rude a quick rollup pin. That would be it for Orndorff in the WWF, at least in major spots.

Bigelow comes in and suplexes Rude down before tagging out to Hogan for a high knee (!). A powerslam from Muraco to take Rude out and it’s Gang, Bundy and Andre vs. Bigelow, Hogan and Muraco. Muraco goes after Bundy’s leg which is pretty good strategy. Granted it doesn’t work but at least it was a good idea. Gang comes in and Muraco can’t slam him because he’s really fat. The splash eliminates Muraco and it’s 3-2.

Gang vs. Bigelow now with Bigelow trying a sunset flip, only to get crushed by the power of fat. Bundy clotheslines Bigelow inside out and Jesse says Hogan is going to run if Bigelow gets eliminated. Gorilla RUNS to Hogan’s defense and Jesse freaks. Gang and Bigelow collide and Hogan looks like he’s about to cry. Andre finally comes in and Bigelow looks TINY compared to him.

Bigelow slides between Andre’s legs and FINALLY it’s Hogan vs. Andre. Hogan pounds away and blocks a headbutt and Andre is in trouble. Hogan decks Bundy and Gang before elbowing Andre in the head. Bundy pulls Hogan to the floor and Hulk has to beat up both of the other monsters. He slams both guys, but he’s outside too long and Hogan is counted out. Hogan, the great sportsman that he is, gets back in anyway and is STUNNED, yes STUNNED I SAY about getting counted out. It takes the referees saying that if Hogan doesn’t leave, his whole team is disqualified.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre, Bundy and Gang. Bigelow starts with Bundy and clotheslines him down for two. A shoulder block puts Bundy down again and a headbutt gets two. A dropkick staggers Bundy and the King misses a splash. Bigelow hits his slingshot splash to eliminate Bundy and make it 2-1.

Gang comes in immediately and starts pounding away, hooking something like a front facelock. Bigelow gets rammed into Andre’s boot and Gang goes up. Oh this can’t end well. Gang misses a “splash” and Bigelow pins him to get us down to one on one. Let the pain begin. Andre pounds him down, avoids a charge, fires off a bunch of shoulders to the back, and a kind of single arm butterfly suplex gets the final pin for Andre.

Rating: B-. For a main event, this was perfectly fine. More than anything else, it continues Hogan vs. Andre. They had their first match about eight months ago and something like this needed to happen to extend the feud. That’s the reason for the amount of PPVs going up: you need another place to have major feuds. Andre has now won something in direct competition over Hogan and there’s a reason for a rematch. Maybe on February 5th live on NBC?

Hogan IMMEDIATELY runs out and decks Andre with the belt. Hogan clears the ring and says bring it on, but Heenan motions that Hogan has to sign a contract first. Jesse freaks out as Hogan poses. This is a total jerk move by Hulk as he lost completely fairly and is out here because he can’t accept it. I was a Hulkamaniac as a kid, but Hogan was a horrible sport a lot of the time.

Heenan and Andre say they want Hogan and all Hulk has to do is sign on the dotted line.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a pretty excellent show and a GREAT first entry in the series. However I would certainly suggest going with the home video version instead of the full version as it clips some of the repetitive stuff from the tag match which helps it a lot. It also cuts some promos like the DiBiase thing and makes the show a lot easier to sit through. Still though, good show here and well worth seeing.

In something that I’ll be doing with all of these redos, here are the original ratings and the new ratings. I haven’t looked at these until the end of the redo. In order of airing (just captains listed for the sake of less typing):

Ratings Comparison

Team Randy Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: B+
Redo: B

Team Sherri Martel vs. Team Fabulous Moolah

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Original: B
Redo: C-

Team Hogan vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: B
Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A-
Redo: B+

Apparently I liked most of the matches less and the show a bit less overall but still good marks all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested.

 

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Survivor Series 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio (suburb of Cleveland)
Attendance: 21,300
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

I think the first show of these series is my favorite. You have little expectation because it’s never been done before. This is especially true in this case as this kind of match had never been seen on a wide level before. Like I’ve said, this was the sequel to Wrestlemania 3, so a lot of the feuds spawned either at that show or between then and now. Summerslam doesn’t even exist at this point.

We have a total of four matches on this card, so for the first few shows, you won’t be getting any matches as it’s kind of pointless to post a fourth or a fifth of the whole care. In this case, we have a mid card match, a women’s match, a tag match and the main event. That’s a grand total of 50 people wrestling tonight. That is a TON. I don’t even know if the rumbles have that many people at them.

Back in the early days this was 5 on 5 instead of the traditional four on four. For those of you that actually don’t know how this works, it’s elimination tag matches. The tag line was two teams of 5 strive to survive. A person can be eliminated by pin, submission, count out or DQ. The team that survives wins.

You can have any combination of people on a team at any point in the match. You could go from 5 vs. 5 to 5 vs. 1 to 1 vs. 1, making a lot of interesting scenarios possible. With all that being said, let’s get to the first ever Survivor Series.

The old school Coliseum Video intro was always sweet beyond belief to me. It’s so retro and so perfect that it’s all you could ask for in a generic intro. We open with a brief shot of the stare down between Andre and Hogan. The announcers talk to us for a good while as they explain a completely new concept to us which is always fun.

We’re in the back with Honky Tonk Man and his team. This match came about from Honky hitting Savage with the guitar and shoving down Liz. He threatens to hit the Shake Rattle and Roll on Liz.

Savage says that he’s coming for Honky.

Honky Tonk Man’s Team vs. Randy Savage’s Team

For simplicity’s sake, I’ll just be listing the captains in the titles and the wrestlers here.

Honky’s Team: Ron Bass, Hercules, Harley Race, Danny Davis.

Savage’s Team: Ricky Steamboat, Jim Duggan, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake.

On my tape the intros are cut and we just get very short clips of most people coming out which is a good way to save a LOT of time. I have the original two hour version of what was about a three hour show. See, it can cut a lot of time out of things. Bear with me on this one as I really have no idea how I’m going to do this. We start with Beefcake against Hercules, so there’s a trivia question that likely no one will ever ask.

One thing that’s certainly better back in the old days is the commentary. You don’t get a bunch of nonsense that no one cares about and that no one understands. Jesse and Gorilla are absolutely great at what they do. There’s very little reason here as to why most of the faces or heels are on their respective teams. The captains are obvious, but for the most part it’s just people that don’t like Honky.

He took the title from Steamboat, he was feuding with Roberts before he got the title, Beefcake would be next in line to feud with him as he had a title shot at WM 4, and Duggan is I guess just someone that needed something to do. On the heel side, there’s really no connection anywhere. Bass and Beefcake would feud in about a year but it was very short. Race didn’t feud with anyone other than some random world title shots.

Davis was just a twerp that cheated when he refereed and was a complete jobber, and Hercules was just the muscle of the Heenan Family. This is really just a midcard match with little rhyme or reason, which is one of the fun parts of this show. It offers a lot of chances for new feuds to start up and for matches that you wouldn’t usually see, which is always a fun thing.

The faces take turns beating on Davis as Ventura continues to say that Savage is the best wrestler in the world. See, that’s a great thing about Jesse. He had no problem admitting that a face was better than any of the heels. We have Harley Race against Ricky Steamboat in a complete and utter wet dream for 80s fans. You have a career heel against a career face and two of the best of all time.

Their careers just kind of missed each other though as Race was just about done when Steamboat got to the NWA again. Race had one of the best belly to belly suplexes of all time. The REAL best there is, best there was and best there ever will be comes in. (it’s the night after Slaughter hosted Raw for those of you that have no clue what I’m talking about). Duggan and Race both get counted out. That’s something that I like about these matches.

You have to do that quite a bit to clear out some of the dead weight in there and in this case it actually makes sense for something like that to happen. I like it. It’s 4-4 now for those of you keeping score at home. It’s now Bass against Roberts. Bass is the epitome of a generic heel. He’s just a mean guy from Texas that was kind of a cowboy. It’s one of those things you had back in the day that a bit more of wouldn’t hurt. Savage keeps trying to get at Honky which eventually gets him caught.

In one of the fastest sequences I can remember, he makes a very fast tag to Beefcake who hits a high knee to make it 4-3. You now have Davis, Hercules and Honky. That’s….not very good. We finally get the captain in there as Beefcake appears intoxicated. I will never get tired of seeing Honky sell an atomic drop. Gorilla says that Brutus has a lot of fight left in him so I’ll put the over under on his elimination time inside of 60 seconds. Yep, he’s gone in 18 as Honky hits the neckbreaker to tie us up at 3.

Here’s the problem though. The three heels I’ve already mentioned are up against Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat and Jake Roberts. Who do you think is going to win here? Yeah it’s pretty obvious which is what it was the whole match. The only more one sided match that I’ve ever seen was War Games 95 with Haku, Beefcake, Kamala and Earthquake against Savage, Sting, Luger and Hogan.

That’s a dream team for faces against a bunch of bad heels with maybe Haku I guess being the most successful? Yeah I think that one was worse but not by much at all. The story of this match is that Savage wants to kill Honky and nothing more. Apparently losing your captain is the end of your life which isn’t the case but Gorilla would like you to believe it. Since I believe in Gorilla Monsoon, I’ll believe that. What amuses me the most though is that once Savage is finally in there with Honky he tags out.

The DDT is teased but Honky gets out. That was a revolutionary move back then as there was nothing that was anywhere near as fast as that move. It changed a lot of moves in later times such as the Stunner or Rock Bottom which are moves that can be hit in the blink of an eye. That can be credited to the DDT and therefore Jake Roberts for making it happen.

Until then you had moves like the leg drop or the figure four that took a lot of time to set up and were easy to see coming. With the DDT it’s in the blink of an eye so you have to pay very close attention to Roberts, and also whenever he’s in trouble he’s not far enough out of it that a single DDT can’t save him. That adds a completely different dimension to Roberts’ character. There it is. Even Jesse knows Davis is done.

Hercules just kills Roberts with a clothesline after Davis is gone though. The heels do various nefarious things to Jake since Macho keeps going after Honky. Herc is called Hercules Hernandez which I thought had had long since stopped being called. Time for the Orton Special here as we need time to stall. They beat on Jake for a LONG time here and we go back to the chinlock. Roberts breaks it with what I guess would be called a head drag.

He shakes his head to send Hercules flying in the same movement that you would use in an arm drag. It’s right back on him though so the move was completely pointless, although cool looking. He gets the tag to Steamboat who amazingly would be performing on PPV TWENTY TWO FREAKING YEARS AFTER THIS. Think about that. How many of you are under 22? This is in the middle of his career and he had a longer time between that and Mania/Backlash this year when he wrestled again. That’s scary.

Big elbow ends Hercules to get us down to the real thing we want to see: Honky get his face kicked in. What follows is about two and a half minutes of Honky just being destroyed. Everything he tries is stopped dead. It’s more or less target practice at this point until an atomic drop sends him over the ropes and he runs away to end this via countout, which in this case makes sense.

Rating: B+. This was a very fun way to start the series. It had all kinds of guys out there and the faces got a bit of revenge. Honky shows that he’s smart by leaving in a match that really means nothing as the title isn’t on the line. It did a good job of showing what these matches can turn into with the 3-1 finish, as well as it progressed the Honky feuds with the midcard angle.

Savage was supposed to beat him for the title at Mania 4, but due to a lot of other backstage stuff, he got the world title instead and this feud was kind of left without a finish. This was a great old school 80s match though which was a great way to get us into the match type, so definitely a good opener.

We have a transition period here as the Women are introduced which few people either know or care about, with the announcers talking about whether Honky was right to bail or not.

Sensational Sherri’s Team vs. Fabulous Moolah’s Team

This would have been a 6 man tag any other time as it was only about the tag titles and the women’s title. Yes, there were Women’s Tag Titles back in the day. The champions there are the Glamour Girls and they’re feuding with the Jumping Bomb Angels. The Angels were more or less a cruiserweight style in women’s wrestling and they were very fun to watch.

They were very crisp out there and knew what they were doing. The other feud is Sherri vs. Moolah, as Sherri had taken the title from her recently. Compared to the 28 year (allegedly) reign of the Fabulous one, this was FAR shorter. Here’s the lineups:
Sherri’s Team: Glamour Girls (Judy Martin/Lelani Kai), Donna Christianello, Dawn Marie (no not THAT Dawn Marie).

Moolah’s Team: Jumping Bomb Angels (I can’t spell their names), Velvet McIntyre, Rockin Robin.

Yeah, women’s wrestling back in the 80s was a mix of awesome and worse than today’s product depending on when you were watching it. Wendi Richter for example was headlining some house shows in 85, but then you’d have some matches where they would make Alicia Fox look like Trish and Lita combined. Moolah is listed at 160lbs, which is amusing. She argues about it as do the commentators. This is really fast paced especially when the Bomb Angels are in there.

One of them jumps over the top rope and comes in with a dropkick before she hits the mat. That’s just cool looking. Chrisitanello is gone in about 2 minutes as McIntyre hits a great rollup move to pin her. Velvet was a great wrestler that never really got the credit she deserved. She hit a lot of moves you would see a guy like Rey hit, so that’s a compliment if there ever was one. She used a lot of one footed dropkicks which is effective and different at the same time. Kai comes in.

She would actually be at WM 10 fighting for the women’s title. It came from left field and was a one off appearance. She was destroyed and it made little sense. It would be like having Bart Gunn show up and fight Rey in a random IC Title match. Robin botches hitting the ropes which isn’t something you see that often. I love how the divas today are considered slutty yet just about all of the women here are wearing more or less one piece swimsuits.

Robin eliminates Dawn Marie with a bad looking cross body. That makes it 5-3 and more or less makes this what matters. It was about the tag feud and the three single faces against Sherri. One of the Angels is in now and uses what we would call a Matrix move to get out of a pin. Considering she was on the mat and did that to get out, that’s impressive.

She is all over the place and tags in her partner who starts by coming in with what we would call Old School but instead of a chop or walking the ropes, she rolls over in a perfect arm drag. This is one of the fastest tag teams I’ve ever seen, regardless of genitalia. Sherri is getting beaten on now by just about everyone which is always fun to see. This is kind of similar to what happened to Honky earlier but Sherri is the tougher of the two.

They botch (kind of) a monkey flip which to be fair is a hard move to hit. Also the Glamour Girls aren’t exactly tiny ladies. Robin gets pinned with a suplex. Yeah in the 80s that was a big move actually, and not just for the women. Flair won his first WWF match in the 70s with that move. EGADS one of the Angels gets throw 360 by the hair. Velvet hits a cross body where she rotates around the body of the Glamour Girl.

As in she makes contact and her feet go into the air and then she lands the other way than the way she jumps if that makes sense. Moolah hits a bolo punch and I can’t believe I actually knew that. The tags are WAY too fast for me to keep up with here. Jesse goes on a short tangent about how one of the women should go bald to avoid hair pulling.

That’s actually not a bad idea. Back then it wasn’t about the looks so why not? Moolah gets knocked out by a clothesline, which is likely good as she was 6-freaking-4 years old at this point and had been women’s champion earlier in the year. What does that tell you about the women’s division at this time? That makes it 3-3.

Sherri thinks she’s Hulk Hogan with a leg drop and then a….what was that? It was a combination gutwrench suplex and DDT. I think it was supposed to be a suplex and was a botch. Yeah the women weren’t always perfect. We have a messed up bell ringing as one of the Angels bridges out of a pin and the bell rings anyway. The referee waves it off so it was a mistake I guess. We get a VERY old school giant swing which is always cool. Yeah Velvet is hurt and I think it’s legit.

She does get a victory roll to eliminate Sherri but Sherri’s shoulder was up. I really think the injury is legit. Either that or she’s the best seller I’ve ever seen. The Angels can’t slam the Glamour Girls, if that tells you how big these girls are. It’s the most basic hold there is and it can’t be done. It’s not the Angels’ fault though. We get a body scissors of all things which I guess could hurt a bit. We get REALLY old school as we have a sling shot.

A match with a slingshot and a giant swing makes this the best match EVER. Velvet is pinned in what we would call an electric chair to make this an elimination tag team match. These four would have a bunch of matches, including a fictitious title change in Cairo. They would actually have a title match at the first Royal Rumble where the Angels would take the titles before the belts were just dropped. Kai is eliminated by a cross body as this is really close to being over.

We get a move that I’ve always liked the idea of as they go for an atomic drop and instead just drop Judy Martin down. Jimmy Hart gets dropkicked to the floor and a top rope clothesline ends it. This was fast paced and very fun, but sloppy as HECK.

Rating: C+. The Bomb Angels were fun to watch as they could possibly out move Lita. It was a decent length match and they got rid of the dead weight very fast which was fine and then we got down to some better stuff. There were certainly some horrid spots, but there was enough good to make it passable.

Amazingly, we’re halfway done.

The announcers praise the Angels as they certainly should. Jesse’s line of the Glamour Girls are in trouble is very true. You can tell he was really impressed.

The Hart Foundation, the heel captains, are with most of their team as I don’t think you can fit 10 guys and two managers into a single shot. Heenan says that they’re ready.

Strike Force say their team will win. You can hear Demolition’s theme playing in the background during this.

Strike Force’s Team vs. Hart Foundation’s Team

Hart Foundation’s Team: Demolition, Dream Team (Dino Bravo/Greg Valentine), Islanders, Bolsheviks.

Strike Force’s Team: Killer Bees, Young Stallions, British Bulldogs, Rougeau Brothers.

Nikolai Volkoff and Rick Martel start. The rules here are that if any person is eliminated, his partner is too which is a nice little twist. You have 20 guys in this match so this is a crowded apron. I’ve always liked Strike Force for some reason. I have no idea why but I’ve always loved their stuff. Zhukoff tagged someone but it’s ignored. Have to love that kind of thing. The apron is about 80% full. Bolsheviks are gone in about a minute after the forearm.

Oh yeah this is happening because Strike Force won the titles from the Harts and the Harts want revenge. Demolition was just freaking awesome all the time. For some reason Jesse can’t tell the Rougeaus apart. One is blonde and the other has facial hair. They don’t even look related. We get a real power match here with Smash against Davey.

The sad case that is Dynamite Kid comes in and gets beaten on. Dynamite was the man that Benoit based his entire style off of. This is just hard to call as the tags are even faster than the last match. Paul “I was a Horseman blast it!” Roma comes in. Monsoon says you have to pay attention in this one. Truer words have never been spoken. Jesse’s line of the Young Stallions look like geldings right now made me laugh.

The Rougeaus are gone off a missed cross body so at least it’s down to four to four or eight to eight depending on how you look at it. This is a great case of power vs. speed all around. Neidhart and Haku, which is a strange pairing if there ever was one, hit a cool looking double team move with Neidhart having him over the shoulder and Haku hitting a double axe.

Valentine comes in, amazingly looking the same 22 years later. Has there ever been a guy more stuck in the 80s? That’s not fair though as he still looks pretty good for his age. Bravo would have a short angle about his strength coming up.

Everyone beats up Dynamite and Smash shoves the referee to eliminate Demolition to a very loud pop. The most successful guy in the match comes in: Bret Hart. Good grief how many titles are there between these twenty guys? Actually not as many as you would think. Unless I’m missing something, only Bret is a future world champion and of all people Martel was a former world champion at this point, having held the AWA title for over a year.

Actually, after this, other than hardcore titles, the only people to win singles titles after this were Bret, Bulldog and Martel, who had a completely forgotten and unimportant WCW TV Title reign of about a week. Oh and Santana would win the ancestor of the ECW title, which meant nothing at the time. Jesse and Gorilla argue over how to pronounce Tama’s name. Strike Force is WAY over. In case you’re wondering, the score at this point is 4-3 with Strike Force in the lead.

Now we’re both slowing down a bit and we’re getting to the point where things are also a LOT less cluttered. That was the problem earlier: things were just overly crowded. Neidhart pins Santana which really furthered their feud as the former champions pin the champions. Even with that, Demolition would be the team to take the belts from them at Mania 4, holding them for over a year in the longest reign in history which I can’t imagine would ever be topped.

Jesse says his great, great grandfather Ephraim the Body came over on the Mayflower. To say Jesse was hilarious is an understatement. The Stallions are just getting the heck beaten out of them, but like a bad fungus they won’t go away. With it being 6 on 6 it’s a lot better looking here.

That being said, the Bulldogs are put down by superkicking Dynamite after a very fast paced sequence with Bulldog and the Harts to an extent. The Stallions are STILL getting beaten up at this point and you almost want to feel sorry for them. I say almost because then you flash back to how much of a bastardization the Horsemen were with Roma in them. Hit Roma MORE!

It’s now 3-2 heels, which I believe is the first time all night that a heel team has been ahead. That’s actually very impressive. The Dream Team, who I never remember winning a match, screw up by trying to show off which allows Roma to pin Valentine with a sunset flip off the top and get us down to some hot four on four action. In case you can’t remember, that’s the Harts and the Islanders vs. the animal lovers of the Bees and the Stallions.

Hart is just so far ahead of everyone else out there it’s scary. Tama is a guy that was awesome yet sadly enough not a lot ever was done with him. He was 21 at this point and after about another year, you just wouldn’t hear much of him again. Jimmy has to be tired as he’s been out there for all three matches so far. Egads a double headbutt from the Islanders and Roma has to be completely dead. I have something to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving show.

Haku and Neidhart both hit dropkicks. This was actually a nice coincidence as Monsoon says he’d like to see Anvil get up for a dropkick and before he’s done saying that Anvil was in the air. The timing was perfect and Monsoon got a kick out of that. No that wasn’t meant to be a pun. Roma FINALLY gets out and a Jim Brunzell is in. The Bees take out the Harts after a rollup. We get the evil foreign nerve hold which never actually did anything that I can remember.

The Islanders, the far fresher and more dominant team, get a lot of time to beat on the quick faces which is a nice sign. They get about seven minutes. Another nerve hold and Jim looks like he’s having a seizure or getting a blowjob from a Rottweiler. We go to a random shot of the crowd. Yeah that made no sense at all. After a VERY long beatdown, we get all 6 guys in the ring except one. Blair has put a mask on and hits a sunset flip as the illegal man for the win.

You would think that the referee would notice that there was a killer bee getting knocked to the floor and within half a second a masked bee is hitting a sunset flip but then again, I’m no professional. Despite having nothing to do with the ending, Strike Force’s music is played for the faces to leave to.

Rating: B. This was awesome with all kinds of stuff going on. The apron was crowded but this was much better paced than some of the other matches tonight which just flew by with everyone being eliminated within a few seconds. Here the match went on longer and people were eliminated in a more normal and realistic style.

The ending was fun as the faces cheated to win and speed beat power. This was just fun with everyone getting a turn and hitting their finisher which is always cool to see. It was a bit sloppy with so many people, but dang it was fun.

Ted DiBiase is thankful that he’s rich and that he got to make RVD kiss his feet back when RVD was about 12. How amazing is it that DiBiase would never be a world champion and the kid that kissed his feet would? That’s amazing for anything, not just pro wrestling.

Honky says he’s still the IC champion. Yeah the belt didn’t give that away.

Jesse’s hat is great as he tries to get it over his headset but it’s just kind of sitting on his head. Even Gorilla says that wasn’t fair.

Recap of the main event feud. Andre hasn’t wrestled since Mania, which isn’t true as he was likely on house shows but we can’t let that be known. Heenan and Andre says they’re going to destroy Hogan. Andre is so huge he’s terrifying.

Hogan says his team will dominate.

Andre’s Team vs. Hogan’s Team

Andre’s Team: Butch Reed, Rick Rude, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang.

Hogan’s Team: Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff.

Bobby’s introduction of Andre is a bit amusing as he says he’s from FRANCE. Heenan just shouts it which was a bit odd. This was at the very end of Hogan’s four year reign as he would lose the belt two days after I was born on February 5th 1988. We actually have reasons for a lot of these guys being in this match. Hogan and Andre of course need no explanation. Orndorff hates Heenan (although they would reunite about a year later) because Heenan fired Orndorff for Rude so those two are explained.

Orndorff and Bigelow shared a manager in Oliver Humperdink so that’s why the Beast from the East is there. Patera was feuding with the Heenan Family, and Muraco had saved Billy Graham from Gang and Reed. Graham was supposed to be in this match but had to retire due to injuries. Bundy is there just because of Heenan, and Reed and Gang are there to get back at Muraco. Some of these are a bit stretched, but I think it’s fine.

Graham was Hogan’s friend so Muraco being in the match as his replacement is fine. Hogan is still rocking the old school WWF Title here which was a bland looking belt. Orndorff gets a heck of a pop which surprises me a bit. Of course the roof is blown off for Hogan as it should be. Andre’s eyes are locked onto Hogan as he comes down with the American flag. Was there a point to Hogan’s bandana having the strips hanging down into his eyes that I just never got?

Monsoon says that Hogan decides Rock is going to start. I love that it’s just assumed that Hogan makes all of the decisions because he’s the only one with a brain. Ok on second thought looking at his team that’s a good idea actually. Hogan’s team huddling is clichéd but cool. Moraco is freaking scary looking.

We start with the ravishing one and the magnificent one. I love how they don’t even have names anymore and it’s just descriptions. Rude’s tights are odd to say the least as they’re covered in road signs. Hogan is in and gets less of a pop than Orndorff. However, his is much longer. Bigelow gets a loud reaction of his own. Patera, a guy that I’ve already explained, gets zero reaction. It’s also Butch Reed in there now.

Big leg gets rid of Reed in about 3 minutes. Andre comes in and the showdown is imminent. However, Hogan high fives Patera which is called a tag. Even Hogan says he didn’t mean to do it. Jesse screams conspiracy about Joey Marella saving Hogan. In something that you might not know, Joey is the son of Gorilla Monsoon. You know, if Hogan wants Andre so badly, why doesn’t Patera just tag him back in? Andre tags out to Bundy anyway.

Why is it that every time that a big guy is sent into the corner Monsoon swears the ring moves at least 6 inches? No, it didn’t. According to the voiceover guy, the heels weigh close to 2000 pounds. Are you telling me that one guy can move them that far? Patera is eliminated by the gang to tie us up at 4. Bigelow’s pop for him helping Hogan is INSANE. Orndorff and Bigelow are getting pops that can rival Hogan. That’s saying a lot.

No that’s saying more than a lot. That’s mind blowing and unheard of. Orndorff and Rude are gone within 2 minutes of that and since they were more or less filler I’ll spare you the details. Rude was out of the pin but we’ll let it go I guess. Muraco and Bundy are in there now and just as I say that Gang comes in. That’s about 1400lbs between three guys. That’s freaking insane. Not even Taker, Kane and Show are that big. Muraco tries to slam Gang.

Yeah there’s a reason he’s known for his body and not his brain. Note: at this point Hogan and Andre haven’t touched each other. Gang eliminates Muraco with a splash and he’s on a roll here. The more I see of Bigelow the more I agree with IC. This is brought on as Bammer gets a great looking (considering who did it) sunset flip on the Gang. He cleared him almost easily. That’s very impressive since Gang was taller than Hogan.

Bigelow is getting beaten up badly here. I love how Hogan has been in there maybe 45 seconds other than run ins and yet will easily get the biggest paycheck of the night. Heenan apparently has a master plan. Is there a school for managers and heels to get master plans from? I’d love to sign up for them. Did anyone else ever think that Hogan looked like he was about to cry when he was upset? His face was always comical to me.

Andre is huge compared to Bigelow, but we don’t get to explore that as Bigelow rolls forward and it’s on. The pop for this blows away everything else all night. Hogan of course beats the tar out of Andre. He hits the ropes but Bundy pulls him out. Hogan plays hero and beats on the inconsequential heels, slamming them both, but in doing so he’s counted out. So let me get this straight. Hogan and Andre lasts a 54 seconds, meaning Hogan was legal less than 2 minutes combined in this match.

You have to love that. Actually I don’t. That’s ridiculous. The show was based around this but instead we get a minute long fight and Hogan out there for less time than some people can hold their breath. That’s just freaking sad. Now we have Bigelow against these three, which I’m betting isn’t going to go well for the Beast. Jesse points out that even if Bigelow was fresh this would be nearly impossible. He throws a dropkick of all things and gets height on it. I’m impressed with this guy.

Considering the other two big guys did jack and Bigelow just did a slingshot splash and cleared the top rope at nearly 400lbs, I’m impressed with Bigelow, so IC, you win this one. Gang misses a top rope splash and gets pinned. I think that was rigged so he could go find pie. So it’s Andre vs. Bigelow, and Andre is more or less fresh against Bigelow who is pretty much dead. Bigelow is rolling around to avoid Andre but then in a move that just looks hilarious Bigelow charges at him and misses.

That looked like something from a bad comedy movie. Andre hits a suplex move which was kind of a butterfly I guess but with only one arm hooked (Gorilla says double which isn’t true at all) for the win. Hogan runs out and beats Andre up. That is even more nonsense. Andre won completely clean. Hogan got beat clean. I love how Hogan could do absolutely no wrong. This is ridiculous actually and Hogan is a whining bastard.

He of course poses to end the show and Jesse is absolutely right: he has nothing to celebrate. Jesse as always threatens to come out of retirement and take the title from Hogan. In the back, Heenan and Andre say they’re ready for Hogan and they just proved it and all Hogan has to do is sign the contract. Jesse is rightfully ticked off and we have credits?

Rating: B. This was another good match and it did the important thing: it gave you the possibility that Hogan could lose. It evened the score at one apiece. I’m actually ticked off about what Hogan did. That’s just complete and utter nonsense. Why should Hogan get to do that? The heels winning was brilliant and unexpected, and it set up the rematch in early February that got a 15 in the ratings. Think about that for a bit.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a perfect way to introduce the format. It advanced the stories, it gave a bridge to the next year, and it was all fun. You had four distinctly different matches, each of which played to a different area of the card, and the ending was a surprise. This is a rare occurrence in the history of the company actually.

Usually I would say that you should watch it because it’s the first show and for nothing else. This time, watch it because it’s the first show and because it’s a great show. This is definitely good and worth watching and gets a very high recommendation.

Note: this is accurate as of August 11th, 2009. Now, I did a bit of research here and I found something that illustrates a lot. As I said, there were 50 wrestlers in action tonight. For the sake of this, we’ll factor out the women’s match and say it’s 40. Let’s compare this to a match from last year’s Survivor Series, in this case Team Orton (Orton, Shelton Benjamin, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry) vs. Team Batista (Batista, CM Punk, Matt Hardy, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth).

Now, that’s 40 guys compared to 10 guys. In total, the 40 men on tonight’s show won 60 titles in the WWF. That’s a lot. By comparison, the 10 guys in the modern match have won 54 (excluding the hardcore title reigns which would put the modern team over). Think about that for a minute. ¼ of the people won 90% of the amount of tag titles. Also, R-Truth as of this writing has never held a non-hardcore title.

I’m also considering any tag title reign as separate reigns, so Neidhart and Bret Hart, three time tag champions, account for 6 of those 60 titles. That tells me a few things. First, there are FAR too many titles today. Second, it’s not as hard to become a champion today. Look at two main event guys in the 87 show: Bigelow and Orndorff.

Neither won any titles in WWF, yet they main evented shows, yet Matt Hardy and William Regal have never main evented any PPV that I remember (they may have but off the top of my head I’ve got nothing) and have a combined 22.

Now Hardy is probably a bigger star than either of them, but Regal simply isn’t bigger than Bigelow, plain and simple. Therefore, third, it says that title reigns don’t mean that you’re a star. Either way, there’s a huge difference between the eras and the title scene now is just ridiculous.

 

 

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Summerslam 2020
Date: August 23, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s finally time to try this out and yes it’s another Thunder Dome show, which may or may not mean anything to you if you’re reading this in 2273. Basically there are no fans live in the arena, but there are pictures of several of them scared to move because of all of the conditions WWE has included to allow them to be shown on screen. Other than that, we have two World Title matches and something we’ll never see coming, which kind of negates the idea of a surprise. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: US Title: MVP vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending and the rest of the Hurt Business is banned from ringside. A quick sunset flip gives Crews two and MVP wants a breather on the floor. Back in and MVP uses a distracted referee to get in a cheap shot but Crews is right back with a dropkick. MVP is ready for a charge in the corner though and sends Crews over the top and face first onto the steps for a nasty crash.

Back in and MVP misses a big running boot in the corner but he’s fine enough to crotch Crews on top. A superplex brings Crews back down with MVP slipping a bit on the fall before getting two. Crews is fine enough to clothesline MVP to the floor and that means a big running flip dive, which seems to hurt Crews’ back again. Back in and Crews wins a slugout before ripping off MVP’s nasal strip. That sets MVP off enough that he tries the Playmaker but Crews reverses into the Toss Powerbomb to retain at 6:35.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given Raw and that isn’t the most surprising thing. The bigger story here would seem to be Crews vs. Bobby Lashley down the line and letting Crews get the Summerslam win on the way there is a nice boost for him. Other than that, there isn’t much to see here, but it was just a Kickoff Show match.

Post match Lashley and Shelton Benjamin run out for the beatdown but Crews slips away.

The opening video presents Summerslam as a huge production, including the lights, camera action line. Each match gets a quick look as well.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending and has Sasha Banks in her corner. Asuka forearms Bayley in the shoulder to start and hits a running dropkick. The sliding dropkick misses but Asuka can get a seated Octopus hold. Thankfully this cuts off Cole’s explanation that the big difference between their careers is Asuka has won the Women’s Royal Rumble. Not that Asuka has never lost a singles match to Bayley, including beating her twice in the last month and a half, but their Women’s Royal Rumble record.

The hip attack sends Bayley to the floor and Asuka hits a jumping DDT from the steps to knock Bayley silly again. Back in and Bayley grabs a quick suplex for a breather and the stomping is on in the ropes. The Bayley to Belly gets two more so Asuka kicks Bayley in the head for the double knockdown. Another hip attack rocks Bayley and there’s the release German suplex to send Bayley flying. They head to the apron with Bayley dropping Asuka knees first, much to Banks’ delight.

Back in and Bayley gets two off a chop block, followed by something like an Indian Deathlock. That’s broken up so Bayley grabs another leglock with Asuka going to the ropes this time. Bayley goes up for the top rope elbow but Asuka pulls her into the cross armbreaker instead. Asuka lets go to kick at the screaming Banks though and they head outside with Asuka hitting Bayley in the face. Back in and Bayley grabs a rollup for a close two but Asuka’s running hip attack hits Banks by mistake. That’s enough for Bayley to small package Asuka to retain at 11:21.

Rating: B-. It was good for Bayley to win, even if it has no bearing on her Royal Rumble history. Bayley retaining again is interesting, though that would give you more of a reason to believe that Asuka is taking the other title later. Either way, they had a solid match here as they tend to do, as Asuka can have good matches with almost anyone. It was a good effort here and they even helped set up the other title match later.

Post match Bayley and Banks lay out Asuka again.

Dominik Mysterio asks Rey Mysterio to let him do this himself against Seth Rollins and not get involved. Rey agrees and they hug.

Recap of Retribution’s carnage.

Kevin Owens comes out for commentary, complete with a red tie.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Angel Garza/Andrade vs. Street Profits

The Profits are defending and Zelina Vega is here with the challengers. Ford flips over Andrade to start and hits a jumping clothesline. A jumping hurricanrana off the top freaks Vega out and Andrade is sent outside. Dawkins comes in for a double flapjack to Garza but Ford’s running flip dive to the floor is countered into a double powerbomb. Back in and Ford gets sent into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS!

Andrade armbars Ford over the ropes, setting up the Alberto double stomp for two more. Ford avoids a charge and brings in Dawkins to clean house, including a spear to Andrade. It’s back to Ford, who is grazed by the basement dropkick to the head for two. Zelina gets on the apron but is knocked down in a hurry, leaving Ford to escape the Wing Clipper. The Cash Out into the (spinning) frog splash pins Garza to retain the titles at 7:49.

Rating: C. Another Raw level match here, though maybe a little bit better than that. I doubt this is over between the teams, because it’s not like there is anyone else for the Profits to defend against at the moment. The Owens inclusion was a little odd but he has enough of a story history with Vega and company to make it work.

Post match Owens congratulates the champs and announces the return of the KO Show tomorrow night, with Aleister Black as his guest.

Bayley and Sasha Banks don’t like Kayla Braxton’s questions. Banks knows she can beat Asuka, and Bayley knows it too. Tonight Asuka is tapping out and then next week they’re retaining the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville. They used to be best friends and then Sonya got sick of Mandy getting all of the attention and turned on her. Then Sonya cut her hair and challenged her to a hair vs. hair match, which was seemingly derailed by someone wanting to actually murder Sonya, so instead it’s No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE.

Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE. Mandy punches her in the face for an early knockdown and they head outside with Sonya being whipped into various things. A suplex onto the ramp drops Sonya again and Mandy dives off the announcers’ table with a clothesline. Mandy grabs a table but Sonya gets in a shot and takes it inside. Back in and Mandy misses a running knee, allowing Sonya to slap on a dragon sleeper.

Sonya grabs a triangle choke but Mandy is smart enough to stack her up for two to force the break. The trash talk is on but only causes Mandy to slap away. Now the knee gives Mandy two and they head back outside, with Mandy shouting about being the soccer mom. Mandy throws the chairs at Sonya’s head but walks into a pump kick instead. Back in and Mandy hits a pair of knees, followed by a third as she goes half Kenny Omega. Angel’s Wings plants Sonya and a fourth knee to the face finishes her off at 10:00.

Rating: D+. Yeah believe it or not, I’m not exactly getting behind the idea of a blonde bombshell who got all of the attention being called out for getting all of the attention. Sonya stole the show in the entire feud and while things got turned upside down this week (completely fair enough), I was really wanting to see how far Sonya can go after everything she has been doing lately. Or to see Mandy bald for some reason. The No DQ stuff changed almost nothing here.

Post match Sonya is devastated as Otis comes out to celebrate. He does the Caterpillar and Mandy fails completely in her attempt.

We recap Dominik Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins, which is fallout from Rollins going after Rey Mysterio, including taking his eye out twice. Dominik is here to fight for his dad’s honor in his debut. They’re making it a street fight to help Dominik out a little bit.

Seth Rollins vs. Dominik Mysterio

Street fight and Rollins, with Murphy, is in Rey Mysterio WCW inspired ring gear. Rey is here with Dominik to even things out. Dominik looks nervous to start and Rollins seems more interested in toying with him. Rollins even sticks his head out so Dominik can grab a headlock. Instead of punching Rollins in the face, Dominik grabs a headlock and is shoved down almost immediately. Some armdrags into a front flip have Rollins a little staggered so he slams Dominik down.

Rollins demands and receives a kendo stick from Murphy but Dominik is up with a dropkick. That means Rollins has to run from the kendo stick until Rollins catches him with some stomping back inside. The neck cranking goes on but Rollins lets go to yell at Rey. Dominik’s feeble comeback is cut off with the Sling Blade and Rollins puts the knee on his face. The chair is set up inside and Rollins tells “Papa” to come on. Dominik reverses the buckle bomb and grabs a tornado DDT for two.

The kendo stick shots have Rollins in trouble for a change but he crotches Dominik on top. That means the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two and Rollins wants his own stick. Dominik gets beaten down and Rollins calls for a table from Murphy. Rollins loads up said table in the corner but takes too long going up, allowing Dominik to hit a super Russian legsweep through the table for two. Dominik’s frog slash gets the same, plus a million versions of the same jokes about Eddie being his dad.

Dominik takes too long getting a chair and walks into a superkick, followed by a powerbomb. A bunch of kendo stick shots have Rey clutching his own chest and now we go old school with handcuffs. Before they go on, cue Rey’s wife to try to call this off but Rey stops her. Murphy comes in for the knee to Dominik and tries to take the eye out, finally drawing Rey in for the save.

Rollins and Murphy double team Rey and handcuff him to the middle rope. They both grab kendo sticks but turn to look at Rey’s wife instead. Since she’s on the stage and Rollins is at ringside (and since she can’t MOVE), Dominik makes the save. Something like a 619 sends Rollins into the barricade and there’s the regular version. Another frog splash hits knees though and Rollins makes Rey watch as he….just kind of holds Dominik. The Stomp finishes Dominik at 22:35.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think here, other than it went WAY too long. The match itself was ok enough as Dominik has some skill and has clearly been trained well, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch this for twenty two minutes. It felt like a lot more of the same, with Rollins trying to be vicious but coming off as a heel wrestler instead of anything especially violent. This feud has gone on way too long and odds are we get a tag match next so they can keep trying to get the big emotional moment which hasn’t come yet. Dominik looked pretty good (all things considered), but not ready for Summerslam good.

Post match Rollins leaves the keys with Dominik and watches as he has to crawl over and free Mysterio.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

Banks, with Bayley in her corner, is defending. Asuka has a bad knee coming in and Banks goes straight for it in a smart move. Back up and Asuka hits a weakened version of the sliding forearm to put Banks on the floor. That means a leglock on the floor to even up the knees a bit, followed by a kick to the back for two on the champ. Asuka heads to the apron and Banks grabs a spinning powerbomb to the floor, freaking Bayley out in the process.

That’s good for nine so Banks kicks her in the chest for two more. Asuka pulls her down into an ankle lock but Banks rolls out in a hurry, sending Asuka onto the middle rope. That’s fine with Asuka, who hits a middle rope DDT for the slightly delayed two. The missile dropkick gets the same and Banks falls into the corner. Asuka tries to pull her out but Banks grabs a Codebreaker for two in a cool counter.

Banks misses her own frog splash and the Asuka Lock goes on but Banks flips backwards for two. Asuka has to let go and Banks gets the Bank Statement. She tries to flip into the center and gets switched into the Asuka Lock, which is broken again. Bayley gets on the apron and gets elbowed down, allowing Banks to try a rollup ala Bayley earlier. This time Asuka reverses into the Asuka Lock for the title at 11:31.

Rating: B. Better than the first match and I can always go with someone who learns from an earlier match. This made good sense after earlier and they had to do something to get some of the gold away from Bayley and Banks. The action was pretty hard hitting here and Banks works with Asuka better than Bayley, so this was a nice improvement over the opener and the best match of the night so far.

Banks is distraught post match and Bayley doesn’t know what to do.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. McIntyre won the title back at Wrestlemania and Orton has been on a roll in the last few months. This of course meant we needed Ric Flair to be involved because he has to be in on a big story a year. Anyway, McIntyre has worked his way to the top and doesn’t think much of Orton skating by on talent over the years. Orton on the other hand doesn’t think much of McIntyre at all and is taking the title because he can. Oh and he Punted Flair because it’s Flair.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is defending and Orton bails to the floor at the bell. After the stalling ensues, Orton goes back in, gets punched once, and heads outside again. The chase is on this time and Orton stomps away as Drew gets back in. Orton misses a pair of RKO attempts but the second one sends Drew outside for a breather. The champ gets back in again and unloads on Orton in the corner. Orton can’t hit the RKO for a third time but he can avoid a charge to send McIntyre shoulder first into the post.

McIntyre falls outside and Orton drops him hard onto the announcers’ table for a big crash. He does it again to make McIntyre’s back even worse and there’s a suplex off the table. That’s good for one back inside and we hit the chinlock. Orton starts stomping away at the ankle and leg but McIntyre gets in something like a Stunner to Orton’s knee. As a fan holding up a Twitter sign is replaced, Drew puts on a Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

Orton is in trouble but gets smart by pulling the referee in and poking McIntyre’s eye for the break. They get back up and slug it out with Orton still not being able to hit the RKO. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and then does it a second time. A top rope clothesline drops Orton and McIntyre is fired up. McIntyre loads up a top rope superplex but gets dropped down into the Tree of Woe.

That doesn’t slow McIntyre down that much as he pulls himself up for a choke throw to put Orton back down. The Futureshock gets two and Orton’s head is busted open. McIntyre goes up top but misses a shot to the head, allowing Orton to hit the powerslam for two. The hanging DDT is countered and McIntyre hits the Glasgow Kiss.

They fall out to the floor together and Orton hits the hanging DDT on the way back in. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a powerbomb. The Claymore is loaded up but Orton ducks, only to miss the RKO again. McIntyre grabs a backslide for the pin to retain at 24:38. Phillips: “Orton never saw it coming!”

Rating: B+. They took their time here and I got into it pretty quickly. I like the idea of having McIntyre win without some kind of a screwy ending and if that’s the only thing we didn’t see coming, it might be quite the upgrade. It was a very nice back and forth match and Summerslam main event worthy, so well done on living up to the hype.

Tomorrow: Keith Lee is on Raw.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. the Fiend. They have been feuding for months now with the Fiend reemerging from the swamp at Extreme Rules. During their fight, Alexa Bliss appeared and tried to convince Strowman to join Bray Wyatt again. Strowman said no, but it became clear that Strowman still thought something of Bliss, and maybe vice versa. Strowman said she meant nothing to him though and he even gorilla press slammed her on Smackdown. Strowman has had it with Wyatt and the Fiend so it is time to fight.

Smackdown World Title: The Fiend vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and falls count anywhere. Fiend is knocked down to start but comes right back with a release Rock Bottom. They head outside with Fiend sending him into various things and hitting Strowman in the ribs with a toolbox. Fiend loads up the announcers’ table but gets chokeslammed onto it for his efforts. A spear sends Fiend through the barricade and a shot with the steps makes it worse.

Back in and the running powerslam gives Strowman two, meaning it’s time to fight up the ramp. They go into the gorilla position with Fiend hitting Sister Abigail for two. Fiend pokes the eyes and takes it back to the stage, where he slithers over to Strowman. The Mandible Claw goes on near ringside but Strowman shoves him into the LED ring skirt.

Another running powerslam gives Strowman two back inside and frustration is setting in. Strowman goes to the toolbox and pulls out a box cutter so he can cut up the mat. Some of the wood is exposed but Fiend gets up and hits another Rock Bottom. Two Sister Abigails onto the wood makes Fiend champion again at 12:01.

Rating: C+. This was feeling big to start and then wound up being Strowman losing because he was stupid and took forever to set up….something while the supernatural monster was left laying there. Fiend winning was the only possible outcome here as there was nothing left for Strowman to do as the failed champion. Either way, it was better than I was expecting, but it still wasn’t great.

Post match ROMAN REIGNS returns and hits a spear to take Fiend down and hammer away. Reigns spears Strowman down too and shouts that Strowman isn’t a monster without him. He unloads on Strowman with chair shots and spears Fiend down again before shouting that the title was always his. I know supervillains are supposed to have weaknesses, but football players who played college ball in Georgia and use spears is as specific as I’ve ever heard. Also, Reigns was WAY more aggressive than usual here and felt as close to a heel as he’s been since the original Shield run. He might not have turned, but it wasn’t far off.

Overall Rating: C. This show was looking outright dreadful until Banks vs. Asuka (though I could see people liking Rollins vs. Mysterio) and the rest of the show bailed the first half out as much as it could have. Reigns being back is a great thing as Smackdown (and Raw for that matter) needs all of the star power it can get. It’s not a great show, but it jumps up in quality in the second half and that saved it from being a nightmare.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam 2019
Date: August 11, 2019
Location: Scotiabank Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

This is finally the end of the parade of summer shows and we’re going out with not quite a bang. The card hasn’t felt the most interesting but that has been the case for a long time now. Since two matches were added to the Kickoff Show earlier in the day, we’re up to a nine match card, which isn’t the biggest lineup in the world. I’m not sure what to expect from the results but the level of interest has some work to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan

Lorcan is challenging after earning the shot on Tuesday. Gulak dropkicks him in the corner to start and works on a wristlock before being shoved into a standoff. Lorcan does what he does best and chops away in the corner, only to get slammed legs first onto the ropes for two. Back from a break with Gulak holding a chinlock but Lorcan powers out again. The running Blockbuster gives Lorcan a break and they head outside with more chops keeping Gulak in trouble.

They head back inside with Gulak slapping on the Gulock out of nowhere but Lorcan gets a boot on the rope. The Cyclone Crash is broken up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. Gulak wins a slugout and slaps Lorcan in the back of the head over and over, setting up the Gulock but Lorcan backflips into a cradle for two. Lorcan is ticked off and grabs him by the face for some shots to the jaw. Gulak gets knocked into the ropes but grabs the ring skirt, with the distraction letting him get in a right hand to Lorcan’s throat. The Cyclone Crash retains the title at 8:46.

Rating: C+. There was something positive to be said about the intensity here as these two beat each other up for a few minutes. A title change never felt likely here as Gulak can be a long term champion and Lorcan isn’t the right choice to take the title from him, despite a hard hitting effort. This would have been fine as the only Kickoff Show match but since this is a big night, we need to go three times as long.

Kickoff Show: Buddy Murphy vs. Apollo Crews

Bonus match. Murphy hits him in the jaw for two to start and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Crews fights up for a big collision off the double crossbody and they’re both down. Crews’ enziguri sends Murphy into the corner and the standing moonsault gets two. The gorilla press is broken up and Murphy hits a Cheeky Nandos kick, setting up the running powerbomb for two of his own. Crews grabs a rollup for a breather and Murphy rolls outside. A moonsault misses and Murphy sends him into the steps….and here’s Rowan to jump Murphy for the DQ at 5:41.

Rating: C-. Crews was just a means to an end here and that’s better than having him do something of note. The Rowan interference makes sense and is probably only half of what we’ll be seeing from the big Smackdown angle tonight. Murphy getting a spot in a story is nice, but they might want to let him get a win or two so people have a reason to care about him.

Post match Rowan destroys him while demanding that Murphy keep his name out of his mouth.

Here’s Elias for a song because we haven’t done that in at least a week. This time, the song is about how he knows he’s in Toronto, mainly because local sports teams aren’t great. Cue Edge of all people and in a pretty big surprise, he hits a spear to drop Elias. That’s it, but it was a cool moment.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

Cross and Bliss are defending after winning the titles on Monday. Bliss is dressed as Buzz Lightyear and Billie has a Maleficent headpiece. As Bliss points her arm laser at Peyton, Graves lists off every Toy Story reference that he can while threatening to drop his Bliss fan club card. Cross comes in to beat up Peyton, who gets in a blind tag so Billie can get in a cheap shot.

The chinlock goes on as I try to get my head around Bliss and Cross as faces, even for one night. A jawbreaker gets Cross out of trouble and it’s off to Bliss for Insult to Injury. Bliss stops to yell at Peyton and gets kicked in the face but Cross comes in to take care of Billie. Something close to a Widow’s Peak gives Peyton two, sending her into a panic. Bliss punches her in the face to calm her down and Twisted Bliss retains the titles at 6:11.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given episode of Raw but the Toy Story references made it so much more fun. Granted me being a die hard Disney fan might have a lot to do with that but why let it get in the way of a good time? Bliss and Cross aren’t likely to stay faces beyond one night, but it’s not like anything else with these titles makes sense anyway.

The opening video talks about how these moments don’t come around often and you have to seize them. Tonight is about showing the world who we are.

We recap Natalya vs. Becky Lynch. Natalya won a title shot in a four way (which went on for nearly half an hour and was a complete disaster) and then went all evil/witchy in a rather ridiculous twist. Now it’s a submission match with one hold against another.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Becky is defending in a submission match. Natalya has a Canadian flag for reasons of sucking up to the crowd. Becky knocks her into the corner to start and fires off kicks to the ribs as Renee channels her inner Bobby Heenan by talking about how everyone has been talking about this match. An early cross armbreaker doesn’t do much good for Becky but she shifts to a triangle.

The referee accurately says Natalya getting to the rope means nothing so they roll to the floor with Becky being driven into the barricade. Some kicks to the leg have Becky in trouble and the fans are rather pleased with Natalya. A suplex sends the leg into the rope and Becky’s kick is blocked for another snap across the rope.

Natalya gets the Sharpshooter while sitting on the top rope for a change of pace, even though I don’t think it should count since Becky is halfway outside (which is different than a rope break). That’s broken up and they head outside with Becky sending her into the announcers’ table and then the apron. Back in and Natalya hits a superplex for the double knockdown.

Becky is up first and grabs a Sharpshooter, because that’s how you get heel heat in Canada. Natalya kicks her into the corner for the break and grabs the Disarm-Her. With that not working, Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter but Becky crawls underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Becky reverses another Sharpshooter attempt into the Disarm-Her to retain at 12:25.

Rating: B. I was worried they might change the title there so it was quite the relief at the end. I’m over the stealing the Sharpshooter in Canada spot but it’s something you just have to expect. The problem now is who Becky faces next, because she’s pretty much out of competition on Raw, unless they let Bliss try to be a double champion. The match was the usual well put together Natalya performance but her lack of charisma is still staggering.

Trish Stratus is nervous and excited but she’s a Hall of Famer for a reason and thrives on pressure. The hardest part has been the waiting because she wants to prove to Charlotte that the older generation still has it. If Charlotte is the Queen, she is the Queen of Queens.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Goldberg. Ziggler has decided that legends are taking too much time as of late and superkicked Shawn Michaels. This was treated as a horrible moment so Miz signed to face Ziggler….tomorrow on Raw. Ziggler signed the contract without reading it and gets to face Goldberg here instead. Goldberg not having the best reputation in Toronto back in the day is just a detail that WWE doesn’t care about.

Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Ziggler says he’s the best thing in wrestling today and is about to prove why legends are worthless. Goldberg’s entrance is politely received at best, though the chants do start at the bell. A superkick gives Ziggler an early one and then another one but Goldberg hits the huge spear (with Ziggler doing the over the top sell that everyone was hoping for). The Jackhammer finishes Ziggler at 2:10.

Post match Ziggler says that was like getting hit by a baby and Goldberg doesn’t have the guts to fight him man to man. Goldberg comes back down and spears him again, Ziggler runs his mouth again and gets speared again.

Big E. and Xavier Woods fire Kofi Kingston up and bring him a surprise: Drake…..Maverick. Kofi isn’t amused so he turns it into his usual fired up promo.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Ricochet for the US Title. Ricochet won the title from Samoa Joe and then defended it against Styles. AJ lost, sending him to a heel turn and reunification with the OC, who helped him win the title. Tonight is Ricochet’s rematch.

During the entrances, we get the international row of announcers, complete with R-Truth and Carmella included in disguise as the…..Australian Canadians?

US Title: Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending and has the OC with him. Ricochet is in a full body suit, complete with gloves (I believe it’s Nightwing inspired). They start fast with Ricochet sending him outside and walking over the OC’s shoulders for a running hurricanrana. Back in and AJ gets him tied up in the corner to take over with Ricochet banging up his knee. The leg holds and twisting begin but Ricochet is back with a spinning kick to the face.

Ricochet gets to the apron for a springboard and since he’s Ricochet, uses one leg for a clothesline. The running shooting star gives Ricochet two but AJ knocks him off the apron for a baseball slide. Back in and the fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Ricochet manages an enziguri for two. The knee gives out again so AJ goes for the Calf Crusher, which is reversed into an Anaconda Vice of all things.

With that broken up, Ricochet manages a twisting suplex for two but has to take out the OC. That’s fine with Ricochet, who knocks AJ off the top and, after kicking Anderson away, tries a Phoenix splash to the standing Styles. That’s not the best idea though as AJ catches it in the Styles Clash to retain at 11:57 (that was a great looking finish).

Rating: B. Ricochet is a fascinating case as he does stuff that is ridiculous but makes it believable because of who he is. That spot with the one legged springboard just made me shake my head because of course he can do that. It just makes sense and that’s not something that should work, but it just kind of does. I’m sure we’ll get some kind of a gimmick rematch at Clash of Champions and that should be fine with everyone.

Post match AJ sends the OC after Ricochet, meaning this feud must continue.

The Street Profits are fired up with Dawkins taking his shot at hitting on Nikki Cross. That’s broken up by a Ric Flair appearance, with the Profits being in awe. Flair and the Profits fitting together like a glove is both bizarre and completely appropriate at the same time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Ember Moon vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending with Moon being her handpicked opponent. Bayley takes her down to start and grabs a headlock but Ember starts in on the back. A seated bow and arrow has Bayley in trouble but Ember misses the springboard spinning crossbody. Bayley gets two each off a clothesline and superplex as they’re still going pretty slowly. Ember sends her to the apron but a charge is caught in a front facelock. The twisting Stunner rocks Ember again and the Tree of Woe elbow gets two.

Bayley goes Chicago with the Billy Goat’s Curse until Ember hits her in the knee for a break. A trip to the floor lets Ember load up the suicide dive, which is blocked with a forearm. Back in and Ember hits a super hurricanrana into a powerbomb spun into a Codebreaker (or close enough to one) for two more. Ember’s powerbomb gets another near fall but Bayley is smart enough to charge at the corner before the Eclipse. That means a super Bayley to Belly to retain at 10:04.

Rating: D+. This was just disappointing and felt like a bad Smackdown match instead of something that belonged on Summerslam. There was no reason for them to be fighting other than one challenged the other and that showed here. All of the mind games from the previous weeks were forgotten and it was just a bunch of moves back and forth with Ember showing some fire. Bayley just isn’t the most interesting champion and this showed the flaws badly.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon. Shane is on another power trip and Owens is standing up for everyone who is sick of him. Tonight it’s Owens’ career vs. nothing, because Shane is smart enough to not put anything on the line.

Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens

Owens’ career is on the line. Hang on though as Shane brings out Elias as the special enforcer to ensure fairness. The chase is on early, with Elias offering a distraction for a near countout. They head outside again with Elias getting in Owens’ face again, nearly causing a DQ because Elias is an official.

Back in and Owens hits the Cannonball but another Elias distraction lets Shane strike away in the corner. The fans tell Shane that he sucks as he hits some jumping knees and a Russian legsweep for two. A DDT gets the same and Shane strikes a Bret Hart pose (Velveteen Dream did it better last night and LET’S TRY THAT SHARPSHOOTER! That’s countered into a sitout powerbomb but Elias’ latest distraction means no count.

Elias throws in the chair of temptation with Shane offering Owens a free shot. Shane slaps him but Owens still won’t bite so Shane hits Elias by mistake. A superkick into the Swanton into the frog splash but Elias pulls the referee out. Owens bumps both of them and unloads on Elias with the chair to get rid of him. Back in and the referee sees Owens nearly hit Shane with the chair but doesn’t see Owens kick Shane low. The Stunner gives Kevin the pin at 9:29.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good but egads it’s nice to not have to worry about Shane dominating a show or beating a former World Champion every time he’s out there. They seem to have finally figured out that the super push was a bad idea and finally pulled the plug, though you can almost guarantee a rematch, maybe even inside the Cell.

We recap the attacks on Roman Reigns, plus Rowan being named as the attacker.

We look at Rowan attacking Buddy Murphy on the Kickoff Show.

Charlotte vs. Trish Stratus

The best of this generation vs. the best of the previous generation. The fans are behind Trish of course and sing O Canada for her as Charlotte powers things into the corner to start. A way too early Stratusfaction attempt doesn’t work so Trish switches to a springboard hurricanrana instead. Charlotte goes for the leg so Trish kicks her into the corner to start some confusion.

They head outside with Trish hammering away (Fan: “I am very Stratusfied right now!”) but Charlotte sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by Trish’s neck being bent around the rope. Charlotte tries a belly to back suplex, which is reversed into a crossbody for two.

That just ticks Charlotte off so she….adjusts her boot. Charlotte misses the moonsault and gets caught with a facebuster and some chops. Trish charges into a boot in the corner so Charlotte goes up. You don’t do that to Trish who tries the Stratusphere, which is caught in a powerbomb, which is reversed into a super hurricanrana.

Just to mess with Charlotte, Trish grabs the Figure Four and even bridges into the Figure Eight for some good humiliation. A rope is grabbed but Trish posts her and gets two off Stratusfaction. Charlotte is livid and says this is hers as they chop it out. The Chick Kick gets two but Charlotte takes her down into the Figure Four. The Figure Eight makes Trish tap at 16:41.

Rating: B. Probably the match of the night so far with the very good storytelling as Trish tried to turn back the clock but just couldn’t overcome Charlotte. They started slowly as Trish shook off the rust and eventually got back to where she could hang, but it just wasn’t enough in the end. It lived up to the hype as well as it could have and was the first match of the night that felt like it belonged on a major show.

Trish gets the hero’s sendoff, as she should.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston. Kofi has finally gotten his chance at the top of the company, ten years after Orton held him down before. Orton says he sees Kofi as a fluke and is ready to take his title back. This has been the best part of the build so far because they’ve nailed the story by making you feel for Kofi having to work so hard getting here. Orton is trying and that makes him one of the better performers around.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Kofi is defending. They yell at each other to start with Kofi getting fired up early on. Kofi knocks him into the corner but Orton begs off in a heelish move. A shove sends Kofi outside and Orton sends him into the announcers’ table before taking it back inside for some hair pulling on the ropes.

An uppercut puts Kofi on the floor but he dives off the steps to knock Orton down for a change. Orton is right back up with a drop onto the announcers’ table as the fans are split again. Back in and Orton slowly hammers away but a top rope superplex is broken up. That lets Kofi hit a tornado DDT and they’re both down for a bit. Kofi’s dropkick knocks Orton down but Orton does the same to the champ.

The elevated DDT is backdropped to the floor and Kofi hits the big dive. Back in and a high crossbody gives Kofi two but the second elevated DDT attempt connects. Orton takes too long to go for the RKO and has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi goes up but dives into the RKO….for no cover. Instead Kofi rolls outside in front of his family so Orton glares at them. Kofi snaps and beats the fire out of him as it’s a…..it could be a DQ or a double countout actually, though either one takes place at 16:24.

Rating: B-. This was rather slow paced and it made the ending didn’t do it any favors. Next up is likely a hardcore based rematch at Clash of Champions and that should be fine. Kingston doesn’t have much high level competition so having Orton win the title would make some sense. It might not be the most thrilling, but Orton hasn’t held the thing in years and is fine for a transitional champion.

Post match Kofi unloads with a kendo stick and hits Trouble in Paradise as Graves talks about Kofi’s greatest weakness being exposed.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray has been out of the ring for about a year now but has been releasing Firefly Fun House videos, showing that he now has a split personality. The evil side is called the Fiend and attacked Balor, who demanded the match. Normal Wyatt warned him against this as the Fiend is hard to control.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Finn is all in white and Bray…..has a lantern with a man’s head around it and the light in the mouth. Broken Out In Love is now sung by a group of women and is even creepier than before. Bray, in the Fiend mask, runs Finn over to start as we get a YOWIE WOWIE chant. A clothesline to the back of the head sets up a neck twist and there’s the release Rock Bottom. Bray looks conflicted and tries Sister Abigail but the delay lets Finn hit a Sling Blade. The comeback is on but the Coup de Grace is countered into the Mandible Claw to give Bray the win at 3:29. That was a great ending with Balor just going limp to end it.

Rating: C+. The match was a squash but the presentation was a complete home run as Wyatt felt like a monster and something other worldy ala the Undertaker the original Mankind. That’s the kind of thing you only get once in a good while and Wyatt nailed it here. Keep this up and you’ve got a special monster on your hands for a very, very long time.

Post match the lights go out and Bray laughs, before we see a closeup of the Fiend. The lights come back up and he’s gone as Balor doesn’t know what hit him.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins. Seth beat him for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania but then Lesnar won Money in the Bank and took the title back at Extreme Rules. Since then, Lesnar has annihilated Rollins and injured him pretty badly, but Seth is willing to fight anyway because he wants his title back.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and he gets PYRO. Brock goes straight for the taped up ribs to start and hits the shoulders in the corner. The German suplex is escaped and the Stomp gets an early two. Brock bails to the floor so Seth hits a running knee from the apron. Back in and Seth flips out of another German suplex. Two superkicks look to set up the Stomp but Brock reverses into the F5 for no cover.

Brock swings him around by the rib tape and declares it punishment time, meaning it’s time to roll some German suplexes. They head outside with Brock hitting another suplex on the floor. Rollins manages to post him a few times and a springboard knee to the head connects. The top rope version misses and Brock hits the release German suplex. Heyman looking so happy is a great bonus.

The gloves come off and a waistlock goes on for a bit. Lesnar’s charge hits the post though and Seth kicks him to the floor. Two suicide dives connects but the third is caught for a hard ram to send Rollins into the post. Lesnar can’t follow up though and Seth knocks him onto the table, setting up the huge frog splash through it for the big crash. Back in and Rollins hits a top rope splash for two more, followed by the Stomp for the same. Another Stomp gives Rollins the title back at 13:26.

Rating: B-. Well I’m rather surprised. Having no titles changing hands until the ending was a bit of a tell tale sign, but I’m certainly not going to say that this is it for Lesnar. WWE likes going with this same idea far too often and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’ll take Rollins as champion over Lesnar though, just for the sake of having a chance of something fresh.

Rollins celebrates, with more pyro, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The ending helped but it was one of only a few things that felt memorable about the whole show. Charlotte vs. Trish felt like a dream match, the Fiend is one of the best debuts I can remember and then you have the title change. Other than that, it was a rather lackluster show without much in the way of memorable moments. It’s not a terrible show but it’s one that people aren’t going to remember beyond a few more days. That shouldn’t be the case for Summerslam but maybe now we can move fully into the new era, which sounds like a very good idea after a long summer.

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Summerslam 2018
Date: August 19, 2018
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the second biggest show of the year (I think) and that means we’re in for a stacked card. The big matches include Roman Reigns challenging Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title, AJ Styles defending the WWE Championship against Samoa Joe and, in the match that I think should close the show, Daniel Bryan vs. the Miz. Tonight has some promise so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Zelina Vega/Andrade Cien Almas vs. Rusev/Lana

Thankfully they waited a little longer before starting the first match this year, allowing some more fans to get into the arena. Last year was embarrassing looking but it’s a little better this time. The men start and it’s an early double tranquillo pose, earning Almas and Vega some Bulgarian roaring. We settle down to a RUSEV DAY chant and Rusev hitting a suplex. A missed charge sends Rusev shoulder first into the post and it’s an armbar to send us to a break.

Back with Almas getting two off a reverse tornado DDT. A second attempt is countered with a shove off the top and the hot tag brings in Lana. Vega has to come in as well and Lana kicks her down, setting up a Spinarooni of all things. A kick to the face cuts Vega off again but Lana stops to slap Almas, allowing Vega to roll her up for the pin at 6:55. They botched that one pretty badly as Vega was supposed to put her feet on the ropes but she’s so short that they couldn’t reach. Lana was barely struggling either and it didn’t look good.

Rating: D. I was really disappointed here as this could have been something very fun. What we got was a short match between the guys and then a bare bones match from the women. I don’t know if the stage got to Lana or what but this was the bad match that a lot of people have expected her to have. The finish was even worse though and made the match feel like a joke.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak is challenging and everyone else is banned from ringside. Alexander has held the title since Wrestlemania and Gulak has been on a roll, making everyone tap out. Gulak takes him to the mat and then into the corner to start but it’s way too early for the Gulock (dragon sleeper). Instead Alexander rolls out and dropkicks Gulak down so it’s time to go to the floor. Back in and Alexander’s springboard is blocked with a big boot, followed by a neckbreaker onto the knee.

We take a break and come back with Gulak staying on the neck with a clothesline for two. Gulak cranks on the neck but Alexander is right back up with a bottom rope springboard Downward Spiral. Some right hands keep Gulak in trouble and Cedric followed him to the floor with a big flip dive.

Back in and Alexander catches him on the ropes, setting up a short form Gulock to really mess with the neck. A spinning elbow to the jaw gets Cedric out of trouble for the time being but Gulak smacks him in the face. Gulak reverses the Neuralizer into an ankle lock but gets reversed into a cradle. Back up and Cedric hits the C4 but Gulak turns it over into a rollup for two more. Another rollup gives Gulak two but that’s reversed into a stacked up rollup for the pin on Gulak at 10:42.

Rating: C+. They had a hot finish here with the rollups and I was actually surprised by the finish. That being said, I’m not wild on having Alexander keep the title and would have bet on Gulak picking up the belt here. There’s not much of a reason to keep the title on Alexander as he’s far from the most interesting guy in the world. At least the match was pretty good though.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. B Team

The B Team is defending and get taken down in the very early on with a dragon screw leg whip to Dallas. A Shatter Machine puts the illegal Axel down as well and it’s Dawson starting on in Dallas’ knee. Back from a break with Wilder staying on the knee and handing it back to Dawson, who gets kicked shoulder first into the post. Axel is still down from the Shatter Machine though and there’s no hot tag to be had.

Dallas’ knee is fine enough for the hanging swinging neckbreaker and now the hot tag brings Axel in. Axel cleans house and loads up the PerfectPlex but gets small packaged. The referee is with Dallas and Wilder though until Wilder snaps Dallas across the top. Dallas falls onto Axel and Wilder to turn the small package over for the pin on Dawson at 6:14.

Rating: D+. How can you not at least chuckle at these two schmucks? They’ve embraced the clueless putz characters and that’s all you can ask for. As ridiculous as they are, it’s not like the Raw tag division has anything else going on. Revival is a great team, but that doesn’t matter if they can’t get more than five minutes and a bunch of nothing opponents. This was the right call, which is better than I was expecting.

By the way, the total wrestling time on this year’s Kickoff Show: about 24 minutes, or just over half of last year’s. That’s a BIG improvement as there’s no need to have so much wrestling on a bonus feature before we get to the four hour pay per view.

The opening video features actor Terry Crews outside the arena, rhyming about what it means to be the best on the big stage. This was released earlier in the week.

There’s a big digital Empire State Building over the ring. That isn’t likely visible in the arena.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is defending and has Drew McIntyre in his corner while Rollins has the freshly returned Dean Ambrose in his. The fans are very hot for Rollins here, especially BURN IT DOWN. Feeling out process to start with Seth being driven into the ropes but Dean is right there to cut Drew off. Back up and they run the ropes with Rollins nailing a hiptoss, sending Ziggler outside for a breather.

Seth follows him and it’s time for another big staredown. Rollins gets sent to the apron but stops to stare at Drew, allowing Ziggler to grab two off a neckbreaker. With Rollins seeming to favor his knee, Ziggler talks trash to Ambrose and then sends Rollins into the corner for a Flair Flip to the floor. Back in and the chinlock keeps Rollins in trouble for a good while. The comeback is cut off as Rollins grabs a vertical suplex over the top, only to fall out with Ziggler for a big crash.

Rollins hits a Sling Blade for two back inside and the middle rope Blockbuster gets two more. Ziggler rolls away from the threat of the frog splash so Rollins hits him with the suicide dive. The springboard clothesline sets up the ripcord knee for two and they’re both down for a minute. Ziggler’s sleeper is thrown off so they head to the apron with Ziggler saying this is it. Rollins gets shoved into the post and a jumping DDT drives him head first into the apron. That’s only good for a nine count as Rollins comes back in for the low superkick.

The frog splash hits knees though and Ziggler rolls him up for two more. Ziggler heads up top but Rollins is right there for a reverse superplex into a reverse inverted DDT (now that’s how you mix it up) and a near fall of his own. McIntyre sends Dean into the steps though, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for the nearest fall yet. Dean is back up with Dirty Deeds to McIntyre and the bloody Rollins to avoid the superkick. The Stomp gives Rollins the title back at 22:01.

Rating: B. I know it won’t be, but I really could go for this feud ending already. It started a little over two months ago and feels like it’s been going on for a year now. At least Rollins has the title back and that’s all well and good, especially with the prospects of Ziggler and McIntyre being able to split up for good now. If nothing else, it’s nice to start the show with a good, long match for a change after last year took forever to get going.

The Bellas are here and are asked about their chances of appearing at Evolution. It turns into a list of plugs for their various projects before Nikki says they want to see Ronda Rousey win the Raw Women’s Title tonight. They’ll be ringside for the match tonight. And so it begins.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Bludgeon Brothers vs. New Day

New Day, Big E. and Xavier Woods here, are challenging after having won a tournament. Rowan runs Woods over to start and gets two each off a big boot and splash. It’s off to the fists around the head crush, followed by a pumphandle backbreaker to keep Woods down. Woods finally kicks Harper to the floor and makes the hot tag to Big E., who drops to the floor to throw some suplexes.

Back in and the Warrior Splash gets two on Harper, who comes right back with the Michinoku Driver. The double spinebuster doesn’t work though and Woods dives over the top onto Rowan. Everything breaks down and Big E. is sent into the steps, though the Brothers look a little banged up. They’re fine enough to hit the double spinebuster for two on Big E. with Woods making the save and getting the tag. Kofi gets taken down so Rowan eats the Big Ending on the floor.

A blind tag brings in Big E. but Harper stuns him with a superkick on the apron. Big E. tries the release Rock Bottom off the apron into the Codebreaker from Woods but the timing is off and it’s more like Harper just landing on Woods. Harper is fine enough to roll away from Woods’ top rope elbow so Woods hits it on the floor instead. The pain is immense but Woods throws him back in for the tag to Big E. UpUpDownDown is imminent but Rowan uses the mallet for the DQ at 9:36.

Rating: C+. They were getting somewhere before the ending to set up a rematch either on Smackdown or in the Cell. It’s a good idea to make the Brothers seem vulnerable against a top team like New Day, who couldn’t quite finish them off. At the moment the Smackdown tag team division is all of four teams so it’s a good idea to not change the titles just yet, along with keeping this match going for another month. Nice match, with an understandable ending.

Jon Stewart is here.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens, which started back in June. Strowman threw him off a ladder at Money in the Bank and then won the briefcase, so Owens tried to be nice to him. Then Strowman destroyed his car, threw him in a portable toilet and off of a cage, meaning it’s time for a rematch with the briefcase on the line.

Money in the Bank Briefcase: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and can lose the briefcase by any means. The bell rings and Owens is knocked into the corner a few seconds later, followed by the run around the floor to shoulder him down. Strowman has so much fun that he does it again and a superkick just annoys him. A chokeslam onto the ramp knocks Owens silly and the running powerslam ends him at 1:56. Total and complete squash.

There was a Be A Star rally earlier in the week.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match. Becky Lynch beat Carmella to earn a spot but then Charlotte returned and did the same thing, earning her own shot. Charlotte and Becky then got in a bit of a passive aggressive fight over Becky being jealous of Charlotte being added. Fair enough, but WWE loves itself some triple threats.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Carmella is defending and gets double teamed to start. In a smart move, she slaps Becky in the back of the head and blames Charlotte. The wedge doesn’t last long as Becky hiptosses Carmella to the floor and tries an early Disarm-Her on Charlotte. That goes nowhere as Charlotte escapes but gets pulled to the floor. Carmella sends Becky into the steps and reminds us that she is in fact the champion.

Back in and we hit the chinlock on Charlotte for a good while as Graves sings the champ’s praises. Becky has to be knocked off the apron, allowing Charlotte to start her comeback with the chops. Some suplexes make it even worse but Becky is back in with a double missile dropkick. Charlotte gets knocked outside and there’s the Bexploder to the champ. She crotches Becky on top though and gets two off a loose super hurricanrana. Charlotte comes back in with a spear to take them both down for two each and grabs a Walls of Jericho of all things on Carmella.

The Figure Four goes on instead but Becky makes the save with a guillotine legdrop. Carmella is back up and sends Becky outside for a suicide dive, only to have Charlotte miss the corkscrew moonsault (she slapped Carmella and completely missed Becky) to put them bot down. Back in and Carmella has to break up the Disarm-Her, followed by a superkick for two on Becky. Charlotte gets knocked to the floor and the Disarm-Her goes on, only to have Carmella grab the rope. The hold is slapped on again but Charlotte runs in with Natural Selection to Becky for the pin and the title at 14:35.

Rating: C+. Much better than I was expecting here and they better turn Becky heel after that ending. Thankfully they took the title off of Carmella, but at this point either she or Charlotte has been champion since November. They need some fresh blood in there, which hopefully is a ticked off Lynch.

Post match Carmella leaves so Becky and Charlotte can hug, only for Becky to turn on Charlotte and beat the fire out of her to a HUGE YES chant. Becky throws her over the table, leaving Charlotte to take a YOU DESERVE IT chant. That was the only way to go as A, Becky has a legitimate complaint about Charlotte being put into the match and stealing her title and B, there isn’t anyone else for Charlotte to fight.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles has been champion since November, becoming the longest reigning World Champion in Smackdown history. Joe signed the contract to face him, partially because there was no one left aside from maybe Miz. After the match was set, Joe started talking about how AJ was sacrificing his family to be champion. AJ tried to keep things calm, but Joe read a letter supposedly from AJ’s wife Wendy, saying Joe was completely right. In other words, AJ isn’t happy.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is challenging and even introduces AJ’s wife and daughter at ringside. It’s a feeling out process to start as AJ is a little more calm than (erg, especially after Joe’s comments) he should be here, even as the fans chant TNA. AJ grabs a headlock to slow Joe down but a heavy shoulder cuts him off. Some leg kicks have AJ in even more trouble but he’s right back with some forearms. The sliding forearm sends Joe outside and AJ tries to follow him, only to get kicked in the knee to take him off the apron.

A hard suicide dive sends AJ into the announcers’ table and one heck of a clothesline takes his head off back inside. We hit the chinlock, which makes you wonder why Joe doesn’t turn around just a hair and make it the Koquina Clutch instead. AJ gets up and knocks Joe’s block off with a right hand to the floor, followed by the slingshot forearm. Joe charges into an enziguri and the Phenomenal Blitz sets up another running forearm. The moonsault into a reverse DDT gets two on Joe and AJ puts him on top.

That doesn’t go well for the champ, who gets shoved down for a middle rope knee to a standing AJ for two more. The running big boot into the backsplash gets the same but AJ is right back with the fireman’s carry backbreaker. AJ is limping a bit and misses the Phenomenal Forearm, allowing Joe to snap him over with the powerslam for two more. A one armed Styles Clash gives AJ the same and they’re both down. Back up and they slug the heck out of it until a Pele sends Joe into the corner.

AJ makes the mistake of charging into the release Rock Bottom but is still able to put on the Calf Crusher. Joe’s solution: slam AJ’s head into the mat over and over. Joe slips over into the Koquina Clutch but AJ gets his foot on the ropes. It’s Muscle Buster time but AJ forearms him in the head. That’s fine with Joe, who hits one of the loudest enziguris I’ve ever heard to knock AJ outside. Joe sends him into the steps and grabs the mic. He tells Wendy that AJ isn’t coming home but he’ll be her new daddy. A suddenly bloody AJ tackles Joe off the table and through the barricade, followed by a chair to the back for the DQ at 22:46.

Rating: A-. You have to imagine that the Cell awaits these two and for once, the story would seem to fit that. AJ being able to do whatever he wants to Joe fits, but it would also seem to play much more into Joe’s hands. Anyway, of course these two had a great match because that’s all they know how to do. They were beating the fire out of each other and I want to see it again, which is the sign of a well done match. Really good stuff here, as expected.

Post match the beating continues until Wendy says that’s enough. AJ goes over to his family and his incredibly cute daughter says “daddy you’re bleeding”. AJ apologizes and hugs her before walking away with his family. Joe is TICKED as he leaves.

Here’s Elias to plug his album and talk about how awesome his songs are. He even has a new song, which he’s debuting right here in New York City. And then his guitar breaks. That’s too much for Elias, who throws the pieces around and storms off without saying anything.

Miz runs into the B Team and says if Bryan had followed his example, he might have lived off of Miz’s success like they had. For old times sake, they can fetch his limo for the celebration after. Actually they have their own celebrating to do because they’re the B Team and the B stands for Daniel Bryan. Dallas likes Miz and Mrs. (which he pronounces Mers) but they have their own show: Total Fellas. Dallas: “But with a B! Total Bellas!” Miz is stupefied as they leave.

We recap the Miz vs. Daniel Bryan. This one is over eight years in the making as Bryan came into WWE as Miz’s NXT rookie, despite being a top independent star. Bryan eventually defeated Miz a few times but they went on their own paths. Miz won a WWE Title while Bryan became the top star in the company, only to have injuries take him away for a few years. Now he’s back and healthy though, meaning it’s time for these two to FINALLY have the big match on the grand stage.

They’ve done a great job of setting up the culture clash here as Bryan is all about the love of wrestling and Miz is about becoming a star. Those worlds don’t jive and it’s made their feud that much better. The crowd reaction should be interesting, though Bryan is going to be the biggest face that ever faced around here.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Maryse is in the front row with a baby carriage. Miz hides in the corner for a bit before scoring with some YES Kicks. The running dropkick connects but Bryan grabs him by the throat and hammers away. The real YES Kicks rock Miz and a big one to the chest puts him down. Miz gets in a knee to the ribs and the surfboard goes on. Of course Bryan knows how to get out of that and starts kicking at Miz’s legs.

The REAL surfboard goes on and Bryan even bends back to get two off a bridge. Back up and Miz catches him with a hard clothesline, followed by a cravate with bonus trash talk. Miz starts firing off some knees to the head but Bryan is right back with right hands of his own. The moonsault over Miz sets up the running clothesline and the running corner dropkicks connect. A backdrop sends Miz to the floor and Bryan follows with two boots through the ropes and a top rope clothesline.

Back in and Miz gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which of course means more YES Kicks. One heck of a top rope belly to back suplex puts Miz down for two more but he’s right back with the short DDT. With Miz’s chest blood red, he fires off some NO Kicks of his own, which bring Bryan back to his feet. Bryan dragon screw whips Miz’s leg and hits the big kick to the head but can’t get the YES Lock. Instead a catapult into the post sets up the Skull Crushing Finale for two but Miz charges into another kick for another two.

They head to the apron with Bryan firing off kicks until the last one hits the post. That means a Figure Four back inside and Bryan is in big trouble. As usual, the solution is to punch Miz in the face and then turn the hold over. Miz lets it go and tries the Finale but Bryan kicks him in the back (the leg shouldn’t be able to do that) and goes with the heavy elbows to the head.

The YES Lock goes on and Bryan punches Miz in the back of the head as the aggression continues to come out. Miz makes the rope though and bails to the floor, only to get kneed in the head. That knocks Miz right in front of Maryse, who hands him something. Whatever it is knocks Bryan silly when he tries a suicide dive, giving Miz the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as much as I expected to and the ending does set up a rematch. You have to imagine that Bryan is sticking around given that finish as there’s a wide open door for the feud to continue. It was a nice, long match and got the attention that it deserved, but it didn’t feel like the final match throughout. The ending takes care of that though and everything is fine.

Replays confirm the object, with Graves going into full Bobby Heenan mode to talk his way around the cheating.

Video on Undertaker vs. HHH for Super Show-Down in their final match. To be fair they haven’t been ridiculous with the plugging tonight.

Baron Corbin vs. Finn Balor

THE DEMON IS BACK! FOR THIS MATCH??? This is the rubber match after Corbin started being mean to Balor for being small. It’s been a horrible story but the Demon makes up for some of it. Cole gets his Demon history wrong, saying it last appeared two years ago. It was last year Cole. You called the match.

The fans are VERY pleased and Corbin is told he has to face him. The bell rings and it’s the shotgun dropkick into the Sling Blade to put Baron on the floor in the smoke. Balor adds a flip dive and it’s another Sling Blade on the floor. Back in and Balor hits a top rope double stomp to the back, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin at 1:29. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Bryan is ticked off when Brie finally remembers that they’re married and comes in to see him in his moment of need. He calls his comeback a bust but she gives him a pep talk which seems to work well enough.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jeff Hardy

Nakamura is defending after taking the title from Hardy last month. Feeling out process to start and of course Nakamura is over like free beer in a frat house in New York. Nakamura dodges a few early shots and tells him to COME ON. Jeff does exactly the same and sends Nakamura into four buckles in a row. That earns him a quick takedown and Nakamura slaps on a chinlock.

Nakamura hammers on him a bit more until Hardy, to the tune of a BROTHER NERO chant, comes back up with a Sling Blade. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs and a basement dropkick gets two. Jeff slips out of the reverse exploder but the slingshot dropkick is countered into Nakamura sitting him on the top. The running knee misses though and Jeff gets two off a Whisper in the Wind.

Nakamura is fine enough to catch him with another kick to the head, followed by the sliding knee for two. Kinshasa is countered into a failed Twist of Fate attempt but Hardy is ready for the low blow. Now the Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton Bomb for a delayed two as Nakamura grabs the bottom rope. A second Twist of Fate sends Nakamura bailing to the apron, so Jeff climbs the post and Swantons the apron because he’s that freaking crazy. Back in and the Kinshasa finishes whatever is left of Hardy at 10:55.

Rating: C. I have no idea how Hardy is still walking and I don’t think he does either most of the time. The match was fine enough and Hardy gave it a run but Nakamura needed this way more than Hardy did. If nothing else Hardy already has Randy Orton sitting around for their big pay per view match so the loss was the only option here. Not a bad match, but nothing great, especially on a long shot.

Post match Orton comes out, smacks himself in the head, and leaves without even getting in the ring. Ok then.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss. Rousey was about to win the Raw Women’s Title last month but Bliss interfered for a DQ and cashed in her briefcase to win the title. Bliss then made Rousey snap and got her suspended for a month. Rousey’s reward: a match for the title tonight.

Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss

Rousey is challenging and before the match, here’s Natalya in the same jacket her dad wore at Summerslam 1990. Bliss comes out and sneers at the Bella Twins, who are sitting in the front row. Rousey now has eye paint and her name on her shorts as she does the power walk to the ring. Bliss hides in the corner to start (smart) and a single right hand puts her on the floor. More stalling ensues so Rousey even turns her back and sits down so Bliss can come in with no problem.

Rousey closes her eyes and Bliss grabs a chinlock, meaning it’s time for the scary Ronda face. The hold is broken (Bliss: “No no no no no!” Rousey: “YES!”) and there’s the swinging Samoan drop. A chase lets Bliss get in a forearm and Rousey is just made angrier. Bliss gets flipped on her face and Rousey unloads in the corner, followed by some judo throws. Another swinging Samoan drop (Rousey: “ARE YOU READY???”) connects and it’s armbar time. The arm is twisted in a variety of angles (including Bliss popping it in and out of joint) and one hard crank makes Bliss tap at 4:39.

Rating: C+. What do you want me to say? That was exactly what it should have been as Rousey should be able to destroy Bliss in short order. I’m not sure who is supposed to take the title off of Rousey, but if she can hold it until Wrestlemania (which she likely will), there’s a heck of a dream match to be had with Charlotte. Total squash here and, again, Rousey looked like she’s been doing this for years.

Post match Natalya comes in for the celebration and the Bellas join them because reasons. Rousey goes into the crowd and kisses her husband for the nice moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (again). As is usually the case, Reigns is whining about how Lesnar is lazy and doesn’t like the fans so he should get another title shot. Also as usual, the fans don’t seem to buy it and Reigns isn’t likely to be cheered here. There are a few options for the finish and that makes the ending a little more interesting than usual.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending and gets no reaction (That HAD to be muted. No New York crowd has ever been that quiet). Hang on though as here’s Strowman with the briefcase. He’s not cashing in behind anyone’s back because he’ll be waiting on the winner. The bell rings and Reigns hits two Superman Punches and a pair of spears but the third is countered into a guillotine choke. That’s broken up with a spinebuster but Lesnar puts it right back on.

Another spinebuster breaks the hold again and they’re both down. Lesnar takes his gloves off and it’s Suplex City time. Three straight German suplexes draw a YOU BOTH SUCK chant and Reigns can barely stand. Reigns is back up with a missed charge that hits Strowman so Lesnar goes outside and gives Braun an F5 on the floor. With Reigns back in, Lesnar beats on Strowman with the briefcase, which he then throws from ringside all the way to the entrance, breaking part of the LED board. Strowman gets chaired down but Lesnar walks into a spear to make Reigns champion at 6:16.

Rating: C+. I know they repeat moves and I know the ending isn’t the most popular move in the world, but these two know how to make the matches feel big. I was wanting to see what happened and that’s more than you can say about a lot of matches. Reigns finally getting rid of Lesnar is a good thing, but I really wish they would just get rid of the briefcase already so it doesn’t have to be around.

Reigns poses to end the show with no cash-in.

Overall Rating: A-. That was a heck of a show and above all else it was about the pacing. They did a GREAT job of making this show stay at a steady pace with some hot matches and then a quick match to let the fans get back into it. That took place throughout the night and did wonders for the show, which never felt like it dragged. Compare this to Wrestlemania, which felt like it dragged every few minutes.

On top of that, the wrestling was solid all night long with good to very good wrestling, logical booking decisions and stuff being set up for the future. This was a very entertaining night and notice the crowd not taking the show over at all. That’s a nice change of pace and made the evening that much more enjoyable. Really good stuff here and the best WWE pay per view in a long time.

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