Crunch Classic
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney
Host: Roddy Piper

It’s a Coliseum Video and I’m curious to see what it includes. These things can go all over the place and that’s what makes them so much fun. Hopefully they focus on some of the more talented stars, as you can get some great matches, but you can also get some of the weirdest choices you’ll ever see. I’m not sure what to expect here and that makes it fun so let’s get to it.

This seems to be from 1992.

Host Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and goes over some of his most famous moments (Cyndi Lauper, Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka), but he never won a title…until he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

The Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, is defending after winning the title from Bret Hart a few days earlier. Piper throws a jacket over Mountie’s face to start and hammers away, with Mountie bailing out to the floor. Back in and Mountie chokes on the rope but tries a monkey flip, only to get punched in the head.

A bulldog out of the corner drops Mountie as the fans are going nuts here as they realize Piper has a real chance. Mountie sends him into the corner to take over and the jumping elbow connects for two. Piper pops back up and hammers away, followed by a backdrop to send Mountie flying. The atomic drop sends Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into an interfering Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. This was a case where it was all about the moment, as the Mountie was never going to be a major threat to beating Piper. The fans were with this the entire way and it was awesome to see Piper FINALLY get a title. No it wasn’t much of a match, but it doesn’t need to be but the point was the big moment and it more than worked.

Post match Piper gives Mountie the shock stick and gets the big AND NEW moment to an eruption. You can tell the fans are behind this and that’s awesome to see.

Piper loved that moment and it was the best day of his life….except maybe today.

From Dayton Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Money Inc. vs. Virgil/Big Boss Man

IRS and DiBiase get separate entrances (with Sensational Sherri coming to the ring with DiBiase) but Mooney calls the Money Inc. Virgil is the Million Dollar Champion. Boss Man shoves IRS around to start and Sherri is ticked off as Virgil and DiBiase come in. DiBiase doesn’t like the threat of fisticuffs and IRS offers a distraction to draw in the Boss Man

That’s enough for some evil double teaming and Virgil is in trouble (some things never change). DiBiase gets two off a suplex and IRS’ legdrop gets the same. Virgil fights up with a shot of his own and it’s back to Boss Man to hit a splash. It’s already back to Virgil for a top rope ax handle as everything breaks down. Sherri tries a shoe shot but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. It’s a perfectly decent tag match, though it also felt like it was something that belonged on a tape like this. Money Inc. would obviously get a lot better and were still figuring things out. Oddly the lack of Sherri helped them, as she didn’t really fit in here and would be much better off when she switched to Shawn Michaels not long after this.

Post match IRS yells at Sherri, who has to calm things down before DiBiase and IRS come to blows.

We get a day in the life of Jimmy Hart. He arrives in a rental car because the airline screwed up his limo. He goes into his hotel in Indianapolis and has to check all of his guys in. Most of his wrestlers have already arrived but his room won’t be ready for three hours. There is however a room ready in the basement, which he’ll take over nothing. We go to said basement, where Mountie needs help getting his shock stick working. IRS has also called, saying his plane was late and Mountie needs to just trust him.

Later, Money Inc. interrupt Hart when he is on the phone and ask about IRS’ briefcase. Hart gives him his newly initialed Tag Team Title and everyone is happy. After Hart asks someone about the Arsenio Hall Show and a movie, we cut to Hart asleep in his hotel room. The phone rings (Hart picks up a banana by mistake) and apparently DiBiase’s belt isn’t ready yet. And apparently the Nasty Boys have done…something.

Later, the Nasty Boys are warming up in the bathroom when Hart comes in, saying the bell rang and they need to go to the ring. Again later, Hart FINALLY goes to his hotel room while talking about how hard it is to manage this many wrestlers. And then his room key doesn’t work. I liked this, as it wasn’t exactly funny, but it was the kind of behind the scenes stuff you don’t often get. Of course managers have been a thing forever in wrestling and it’s kind of interesting to see what they do outside of the ring. It’s not some brilliant idea or classic moment, but it was nice for a five minute segment that went in a unique direction.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. New Foundation

Jimmy Hart is here with the Boys and gets chased off by Neidhart to start. Knobbs knocks him into the corner but Neidhart isn’t having that and sends both Boys outside. Hart hits a heck of a dive and moonsaults back inside as the Boys need a breather. Knobbs comes back inside and gets his arm cranked but goes to the eyes. Sags comes in and gets armbarred as well, with Hart driving a knee into the arm.

Neidhart gets to stay on the arm before handing it right back to Hart, who gets choked on the ropes for a change. Sags’ chinlock with a knee in the back doesn’t really do much good so Knobbs drops some elbows to keep Hart down. The reverse chinlock does on but Hart is right back up to slingshot Neidhart in with a double shoulder. Neidhart shoulders Knobbs for two but Sags throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:28.

Rating: C. There were some nice moments in there but you could only get so much out of a match with so many chinlocks in not very much time. That’s where a lot of these matches tend to go and to be fair, it’s better to have the Nastys keeping it basic here if they can’t do a brawl. The New Foundation is a better team than they get credit for, as they’re always going to be compared to the original Harts, which just isn’t fair. They were good at their own style though, even with those amazing pants.

Roddy Piper talks about beating Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III in front of 92,000 fans, with Jimmy Hart getting beaten up there too. And let’s look at the match!

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair. This is weird as Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes have redone the commentary, which just sounds so wrong after seeing Wrestlemania so many times. They go straight to the fight and Piper pulls out a belt to unload on Adonis. Hart tries to come in and gets sent into Adonis, allowing Piper to hammer away in the corner. Hart’s cheap shot from the floor takes Piper out though and Adonis hits a big clothesline.

Piper gets knocked outside and even Hart gets in a cheap shot. Back in and Piper tells him to bring it so Adonis slugs away, followed by the sleeper. Piper sends him into the corner but can’t escape and goes down, meaning it’s two arm drops…and Adonis lets go before the third, meaning Piper is still in it. Hart gets inside to celebrate but Piper is back up and avoids a big swing of the hedge clippers, which hit Adonis in his own face. Piper’s sleeper gets the win at 6:34.

Rating: B-. It’s always fun to see this match, but dang it makes me want to watch the original as the lack of Jesse Ventura takes something away. I do like that they threw in a classic match here, as it’s certainly more memorable than having the same midcard stuff that regularly populates these things. This was a nice flashback and ties in well with the Piper theme of the tape, but it does kind of make the rest of the lame stuff stand out.

Post match Brutus Beefcake comes in to give Adonis the haircut, with Piper loving the whole thing.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 23, 1991.

Undertaker vs. British Bulldog

This is a Fan Favorite request and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. Bulldog gets knocked into the corner to start, with Bulldog doing the slow look at him. Back up and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor, though of course he sticks the landing. A Stunner over the top rope drops Bulldog and Undertaker chokes away back inside.

Bulldog is knocked outside again but is quickly back inside to avoid an elbow. Undertaker goes with that annoying smother thing he did at this point and then falls on Bulldog to counter a slam attempt. The delayed vertical suplex (ok that’s not bad) connects, as does the powerslam, which draws Bearer up for the distraction. Undertaker gets in an urn shot for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. This is a match that could have worked a lot better with some more time and a bit less of the smother hold. Bulldog could make a heck of a comeback if he was given the chance but Undertaker hadn’t figured out a lot of his stuff just yet. The match was picking up near the end and that suplex was rather impressive.

Post match Bulldog clotheslines him outside for daring to try the body bag.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

This would have been a way different match about five years earlier. Martel poses to start and then hides behind the referee. The kick to the ribs is cut off though and Tornado sends him straight into the corner. A running clothesline sends Martel outside and Tornado rams the arm into the post. Back in and Tornado starts cranking on the arm but misses a charge to post his own shoulder. Martel goes up and dives right into the Claw, which is broken up in the ropes. That’s enough for Martel, who sprays Arrogance in Tornado’s eyes for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D+. The Tornado just did not have it anymore at this point and that was becoming more and more obvious every time he was in the ring. Martel is an incredibly talented star but there is only so much he can do when Tornado was basically sleep walking through the whole thing. It’s kind of amazing that Tornado lasted so long, because this wasn’t working in the slightest and pretty much never did after his initial appearances.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes so let’s go to Jake Roberts, who thinks snakes should be your pets. They’ll eat anything and you don’t have to feed them every day. We look at the famous cobra biting Randy Savage segment before Roberts shows us a bunch of snakes. And that’s it.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

Neidhart chases him up the aisle to start and they go back inside for a hearty shove. Skinner is right back with a running shoulder and a hiptoss before they’re back up for a standoff. A headlock works a bit better, only for Neidhart to send him crashing out to the floor again. That works so well that Neidhart does it again with a clothesline, meaning it’s time for the long for stalling.

Back in and Neidhart gets his own headlock, which does on for a little while until Skinner heads outside again. This time Skinner finds his alligator claw to hit Neidhart in the throat, setting up a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up so Skinner…grabs the same thing again. Neidhart fights up again and hits a flying shoulder, followed by some rams into the turnbuckle. They brawl out to the floor and that’s a time limit draw at 13:20. No time is given but just be grateful for what you get.

Rating: D+. They were making it pretty clear that it was there to get to the time limit and nothing else, which is something that makes sense in some matches. This however, was Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart and not one of those matches. Skinner wasn’t a big star but he would get the occasional Intercontinental Title shot, so you would think he could go over a tag guy like Neidhart in a singles match, but why do that when you can have a bizarre time limit instead?

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter vs. Natural Disasters

Jimmy Hart is here with the Disasters. Duggan and Typhoon start things off with Typhoon shoving him away. Three straight clotheslines put Typhoon down and it’s off to Slaughter, who actually backs him into the corner. It’s already back to Duggan, with Earthquake grabbing him from the apron so Typhoon can take over. Earthquake drives Duggan into the corner and drops the jumping elbow for two.

Typhoon chokes on the ropes and grabs a bearhug, followed by Earthquake’s backbreaker. Earthquake gets his own bearhug and then Typhoon comes back in…for a third bearhug. Since that has to be broken up rather quickly, Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and it’s Slaughter coming back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a double splash in the corner crushes Slaughter. Earthquake brings in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4 and wrecks everyone for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: D. You really shouldn’t be getting to a third bearhug in a match that doesn’t even make it to ten minutes (or most matches for that matter). That’s on top of a lame DQ ending, as again, neither Duggan nor Slaughter could take a pin from a pair of monsters. It’s another bad match to end the tape on a rough note, making me question the “classic” moniker.

Piper wraps us up and a Piper montage ends things.

Overall Rating: D+. This started off ok and then fell apart fast. It’s a bad sign when you have to go back to the previous decade to get what is probably the best thing on the whole tape. The matches were just kind of dull and the last few were pretty terrible. Piper is fun due to energy and charisma alone, but he can only do so much, even when he’s the biggest name on the whole thing. Find something else. Like Wrestlemania III. Or the 1992 Royal Rumble.

 

 

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Crunch Classic
Host: Roddy Piper
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

You ever just feel the need for some Coliseum Video goodness? Well this is from 1992 so the goodness might not be at its highest level but it’s a tape I haven’t looked at before. I’m not sure how accurate the term “classic” is going to be here but the WWF does have a reputation for false advertising. Let’s get to it.

Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and talks about some of his crunch classic moments, including beating up Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka and Cyndi Lauper, but he never had a belt to put around his waist. Then he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is challenging and knocks Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, outside in a hurry. A cheap shot on the floor slows Piper down but he sends Mountie into the corner a few times back inside. Piper hits a bulldog for two but misses a dropkick allowing Mountie to send him into the buckle as well.

Commentary talks about how Bret Hart had a 103 degree fever when he lost the title to the Mountie, with Heenan talking about how he wrestled with 113 degree fever. All it took was a children’s Bayer. Heenan: “The orange flavored ones!” Piper atomic drops him over the top but Mountie skins the cat. That’s fine with Piper, who sends him into an invading Hart and grabs the sleeper for the win and the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this match more times than I can remember and the only thing that matters is Piper finally getting his moment. No one bought Mountie as a serious champion so this was about as good of an effort as he was going to put up here. Piper was LONG overdue to win something and it’s as much of a feel good moment as you’re going to get.

Post match Hart tries to come in with the shock stick but Piper takes it away and shocks Mountie instead. With the villains dispatched, we get the big AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW title call in one of Fink’s best ever announcements.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Money Inc.

It’s not Money Inc., yet but close enough. They also have Sensational Sherri with them, which is kind of a weird combination. Virgil is also Million Dollar Champion, just to make DiBiase all the more annoyed. Thankfully Mooney dubs them Money Inc. just after the bell so I can save time on an edit. Boss Man chases IRS into the corner to start before IRS charges into a raised boot.

Virgil comes in to sunset flip DiBiase for two and there’s an atomic drop to send him outside. Back in and Virgil charges into a boot in the corner so IRS can add the flying shoulder. DiBiase’s suplex gets two and IRS’s legdrop gets the same. Virgil finally gets in a shot of his own and the big (not hot, but big) tag brings in Boss Man to clean house. With nothing else working, Sherri takes her shoe off but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. They were trying really hard with Virgil at this point and the win here was another step, but it just wasn’t going to go anywhere outside of the DiBiase feud. Other than that, this was a pretty nothing match, but the fans got to cheer at the end as they should have. For a dark match from a TV taping, I’ve seen much worse.

Post match yelling ensues but DiBiase calms IRS down with cash.

Here’s a special feature on 24 Hours With Jimmy Hart. We catch up with him arriving at a hotel (sans limo of course) over what appears to be Wrestlemania VIII weekend. Hart’s wrestlers are checked in but his room won’t be ready for about three hours. He can stay in a room in the basement though, meaning he has an office. Mountie comes in and says Jimmy was supposed to take care of his stick tonight. Later, Money Inc. is here to make sure everything is planned, including an appearance on the Arsenio Hall Show.

Hart finally falls asleep (reading WWF Magazine of course) when a phone call tells him about various problems with his wrestlers. Later, the Nasty Boys aren’t ready to go to the ring so Hart runs off on his own. Hart is FINALLY done….and his room key doesn’t work, leading to a nervous breakdown. This was funny enough, but Hart can make anything worth a laugh.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

New Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

That would be Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart and Jimmy Hart is with the Nastys. Neidhart and Knobbs start things off with the former firing off the big forearms in the corner. Everything breaks down and Neidhart whips Owen through the ropes for a big dive. Owen backflips in from the top to show off a bit and the fans approve. Back in and the Nastys go with the double teaming to take over for all of five seconds before Owen armdrags his way to freedom.

Neidhart comes back in to stay on the arm but it’s right back to Owen, who gets slapped in the face. That’s enough for the Nastys to finally get him in the corner so the choking can begin. Sags grabs a chinlock until Owen fights up for a failed sunset flip attempt. Some elbows to the back keep Owen down and we hit the reverse chinlock. Owen fights up and brings Neidhart back in to clean house, including a shoulder to Knobbs. That doesn’t work for Sags, who throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:26.

Rating: D+ Owen was trying here but the New Foundation never quite clicked. At the same time, you know exactly what you’re going to get from the Nasty Boys so there wasn’t much to get excited about here. The ending does seem stupid but the Nastys were a bigger deal and given that this was being recorded, it makes sense to try and protect them a bit here.

Roddy Piper talks about beating up Jimmy Hart and Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III (Piper: “92,271 paid admission. And me. The Scotsman, I don’t may for nothing!”). It was one of the greatest nights of his life because the people were cheering for him.

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair, Adonis has Jimmy Hart in his corner and this has Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary to avoid Jesse Ventura issues. They slug it out to start with Piper pulling out a belt to whip away. Hart gets beaten up as well but the distraction lets Adonis take the belt and get in his own whips. Back up and Piper whips him over the corner to the floor (which Adonis can do despite weighing well over 300lbs here), setting up the very 1987 double noggin knocker.

Hart trips Piper though and Adonis gets to rake at the skin a bit. Adonis hammers away on the ropes so Piper says bring it on, earning himself a spray from the atomizer. The sleeper goes on (which is more like a smother) but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Cue Brutus Beefcake to wake Piper up and the comeback is on. Piper decks Hart and sleepers Adonis for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B-. This is a good example of a match that is carried by the crowd reactions. The fans were going NUTS for this stuff and it made for a special match as a result. They completely embraced Piper in this role after hating him for so many years and this whole thing was such a blast. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was a good payoff to a red hot feud.

Post match Beefcake goes to cut Adonis’ hair but it’s rather wet so the shave only goes so well. Adonis wakes up and sees the hair cut in a well placed mirror, sending him into a rage until he falls to the floor.

And now, a fan request match. From Utica, New York, November 11, 1991.

British Bulldog vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker as commentary points out that Undertaker is being “more friendly” lately, though this was before he turned. Bulldog hammers away to start and knocks Undertaker over the top for the feet first landing. A ram into the steps rocks Undertaker again but he’s right back with the uppercuts. The smother to the face slows Bulldog down as Bearer says THE POWER OF THE URN COMPELS YOU. Bulldog fights up and manages a slightly delayed suplex, setting up the running powerslam but bearer offers a distraction. An urn shot gives Undertaker the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C. This is more of a historical curiosity than anything else but it is still kind of cool to see. The Bulldog was around the height of his singles career at this point but Undertaker was a force of a different kind. They had to turn him as he was getting such positive reactions and it’s almost weird to hear commentary have to backtrack a bit because of the taping schedule.

Post match Undertaker loads up the body bag but Bulldog fights up and clears the ring.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

Martel shows of his (rather impressive) physique to start before going with some knees to the ribs. They fight over a lockup until Martel rakes the eyes until Tornado finally throws him outside. Back in and Tornado works on the arm, including an armbar. Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Martel hits a middle rope ax handle to put him down. Martel dives into the claw but makes the rope, allowing him to spray Arrogance in Tornado’s face for the DQ at 5:59.

Rating: D+. Really? You can’t have Martel lose to the Claw in TEXAS? I get the idea of protecting some people but Rick Martel? In 1991? I don’t get this one, but on top of that it just wasn’t that great of a match. Martel is a good hand and did his thing here, but Tornado did little more than the arm cranking and the Claw.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes, so let’s go to Jake Roberts talking about how Snakes Make Fun Pets. Jake talks about how snakes will feed on themselves and how they have been around since the time of Adam and Eve. But now, a senile old man named Jack Tunney is barring him from bringing a snake to the ring.

Jake likes snakes because they’re survivors, and we see a clip of a cobra bit Randy Savage’s arm (that TERRIFIED me as a kid). The other nice thing about snakes is how many different kinds there really are. We see Jake holding various snakes and seemingly threatening us with them before promising the snakes will be back. This was pretty much just an extended Jake promo, which isn’t a bad thing. What might be a bad thing: including a long Jake promo when he was gone from the company by the time this was released.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

After standing there for about forty seconds, Skinner gets out and runs up the aisle before coming back with…something. Then it disappears and we continue the stalling before they lock up about two minutes in. Skinner’s running shoulder doesn’t hurt Neidhart but a hiptoss does take him down.

Skinner does it again and then grabs a headlock, only to be knocked out to the floor. Back in and an atomic drop puts Skinner right back outside, allowing Neidhart to grab the can of tobacco reside. Skinner is so annoyed that he goes up the aisle for a bit, only to have Neidhart come back with the headlock inside again.

With the match still in first gear, Skinner gets in a shot to the throat to escape and starts choking. That doesn’t last long so Skinner switches it up by hitting him in the ribs and then the throat. Neidhart fights back up and they go to the floor for the double countout at 13:15. Actually hang on as it’s a time limit draw, because that makes such a difference here.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? It’s bad enough that the match took place, but then they recorded it on top of that? What were they expecting this to be? They were stalling to get through a bunch of the time and then it got even worse. Awful match here and they seemed perfectly fine with that being the case.

Post match Neidhart wants to keep it going but Skinner leaves. Smart man.

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Natural Disasters vs. Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter

The Natural Disasters have Jimmy Hart with them. Duggan and Typhoon start things off, with Duggan firing off some clotheslines to finally put him down. It’s off to Slaughter for some forearms in the corner as Typhoon stays in trouble. Back up and Typhoon hands it off to Earthquake, who quickly pounds Duggan down.

Earthquake misses a charge in the corner but he’s fine enough to knee Duggan in the back. It’s back to Typhoon for the bearhug, followed by another one from Earthquake. Duggan fights out and hands it back over to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Earthquake tries to bring in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which earns him the DQ to give the Disasters the win at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Another dull match that didn’t go anywhere, making it a perfectly uninteresting way to end a tape mostly full of such matches. Duggan and Slaughter were a fine enough patriotic team and there was a discussion of this match being the Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania VIII but obviously that didn’t happen, which might be for the best if this is what we were going to get.

Roddy wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL and one of the worst Coliseum Videos I can remember. The biggest problem here was a lack of energy, as it didn’t feel like anyone was really trying. The biggest highlight here was the Piper vs. Adonis match from Wrestlemania, which should tell you everything you need to know about the tape. Dreadful stuff here and I have no idea what about this was supposed to be a classic.

 

 

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