Main Event – March 16, 2017: Another Forgettable Show
Main Event Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
I’m hoping that things pick up a bit as we get closer to Wrestlemania but there’s a good chance that it’s just not going to happen. Main Event continues to be one of the most difficult to predict shows around as it seems to be the same thing, only to have a curve thrown in every so often. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Bo Dallas vs. Curtis Axel
Do you think these people get tired of facing each other in these nothing matches? Axel takes him into the corner to start but is quickly put over the top rope for the swinging neckbreaker. It’s off to a cravate until Dallas forearms him in the face for two. We go to a wide shot for some reason as Bo gets two off a clothesline. That earns him a clothesline from Curtis but the PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two. Not that it matters as the PerfectPlex gives Curtis the pin at 4:23.
Rating: D+. Standard match between these two and that’s not the best thing in the world. You’re only going to get so much out of these guys with the same matches over and over, which is kind of the point of this show: keep them doing something to validate their employment without actually having them do anything important. I like both guys so that’s a bit frustrating but at least they’re around.
To Raw!
Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar to open things up. Heyman can’t believe that something happened last week because Goldberg was supposed to be unstoppable. In twenty nights at Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to prove the world wrong and destroy Goldberg in short order. Heyman teases Goldberg being here but says the champ isn’t in the arena. Every time Lesnar has run into Goldberg it’s been spear, Jackhammer, Goldberg. Last week though it was F5, Lesnar. At Wrestlemania, it’s an F5 to end the great comeback because the F5 means Goldberg goes down.
To Raw again!
Roman Reigns calls Undertaker out and we take a break. Back from a break with Reigns still in the ring and Shawn Michaels coming out. Reigns says it’s nice to see him but he wanted to see the Undertaker. Shawn says he saw Reigns get distracted by the gong and that can’t happen going into Wrestlemania. We’re twenty days from Wrestlemania and Undertaker is already in Reigns’ head. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker is going to eat Roman alive.
Reigns says that’s not happening because Undertaker needs to be wondering what it’s going to be like to be in the ring with him. Shawn says he’s in Reigns’ yard but Roman needs to get his head on straight. That’s not enough for Roman, because he remembers Undertaker retired Shawn at Wrestlemania. Come Orlando, Reigns is retiring Undertaker. Reigns goes to leave and gets run over by Braun Strowman, who earns himself a THANK YOU STROWMAN chant.
Jack Gallagher vs. Noam Dar
Gallagher quickly takes him to the mat for a leglock before they fight over arm control. The headstand in the corner confused Dar until a kick to the chest puts him on the floor. Back from a break with Dar still working on the arm until Jack easily pulls him down to the mat by the leg. The headbutt into the corner dropkick is good for the pin on Dar at 7:08.
Rating: C-. Not much here other than Gallagher being amused by Alicia Fox’s level of craziness. I’m glad that Gallagher is back to being his normal self but they need to do something with Dar. The guy is talented but the whole Fox story hasn’t done much for him. Maybe it’ll be interesting when we find out who is sending her stuff (Gallagher would be an amazing choice) but until then, there’s not much to go on.
Here’s Stephanie to introduce Foley for the firing announcement. Foley hadn’t been able to think of anyone all night but in the last ten minutes, someone’s name came to him and he knows what to do. After thanking Stephanie, he announces……Stephanie should be fired. Stephanie isn’t pleased (of course) and rips into Foley, who talks about how Stephanie lied to him six months ago when she said she had nothing to do with HHH interfering.
Foley goes on about how HHH makes an army for himself but Stephanie cuts him off mid-insult. Cue HHH to say Foley can say this to his face. Foley says that’s fine but he didn’t think HHH really existed. HHH laughs him off and they go back and forth about how Foley doesn’t need this job and HHH uses his position to abuse his power. HHH says Foley needs to leave and go around the world again telling his sad story, but if he does, his kids can forget about working for WWE.
What Foley needs to do is go backstage and have an epiphany about how much he loves his job before doing whatever Stephanie tells him to do. Foley turns to leave but stops as Stephanie rants against the people for not respecting their bosses enough. HHH goes after Foley and gets Mr. Socko for his efforts. Stephanie makes the save with a low blow and HHH unbuttons his sleeves. Cue Seth Rollins on a crutch but it’s quickly thrown to the side. Rollins comes in and hammers away but HHH grabs the crutch and hits him in the bad knee. HHH even busts out a reverse Figure Four to make Rollins scream to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was your usual skippable show but as is almost always the case around here, Main Event is the easiest thing in the world to sit through. There’s no time spent on the original matches (most of which we’ve seen multiple times) so you can get the big Raw segments in a hurry, which makes for an easier time than three hours with commercials.
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Main Event – March 9, 2017: Thank Goodness For Raw
Main Event Date: March 9, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Back to the land of the misfit toys that no one cares enough to repair because they weren’t all that fun in the first place. I’m sure we’ll get to hear about how amazing Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg will be, despite it not being likely to last as long as either match on this show is going to be. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Jinder Mahal vs. Curtis Axel
Dang from a pay per view to Main Event in the same week. Some people might say that the Fastlane match was COMPLETELY POINTLESS but I’m not supposed to complain about free wrestling or something. Curtis chops away in the corner as you can see droves of people going to the stairs. A jumping knee to the chin puts Axel down and some kneedrops make things worse. That earns Jinder some angry right hands in the corner and the Hennig necksnap for two. The PerfectPlex is broken up though and Jinder grabs a cobra clutch slam for the pin at 3:46.
Rating: D. For those of you who were begging for Jinder to get his head back you see. Axel continues to be someone whose time has passed and there’s almost no way to recover but at least he got that token Intercontinental Title reign a few years back. These guys are the Main Event Players and it’s no surprise that the match was as meaningless as it was.
Package on Sunday’s main event which is longer than the main event itself.
To Raw!
Here’s Chris Jericho to get us going, which is the absolute best thing they could do to keep the crowd from turning on the show. Tonight is the rebirth of Chris Jericho because last night at Fastlane he screwed Kevin Owens out of the Universal Title. A few weeks ago, Owens took a knife and he stuck it in man.
Jericho wants Owens out here right now so here’s Kevin. Owens starts to talk but Jericho immediately cuts him off and wants to know why he was stabbed in the back. Kevin says there was no stabbing in the back because they were never best friends. Remember who his best friend used to be? Sami Zayn, who Owens stabbed in the back as he would do over and over again.
Jericho is just a tool and Owens did whatever he could to keep the Universal Title. Chris was there to watch his back because he knew what to expect but he was also gullible. Then Jericho outlived his usefulness by accepting the match against Goldberg on Kevin’s behalf. Last night Goldberg would have been outsmarted but Jericho got the better of Kevin last night.
Jericho calls trusting Owens the worst thing he ever could have done but now he has friends around this arena. Chris: “I’ve got the friends of Jericho! CHEER ME ON MAN!” Jericho isn’t done with Owens though because last night was the beginning of a road that ends at Wrestlemania. The match is made but since the show is in a month, let’s have a fight right now. Owens comes down to the ring for the brawl until Samoa Joe comes in to jump Jericho. Sami Zayn runs out with a chair for the save and house is cleaned.
To Monday again.
Here’s Goldberg and EGADS the booing starts when the music stops. Goldberg holds up the title and says it belongs to the people as much as it belongs to him. Goldberg says he has information he’s never mentioned before but the CM PUNK chants start up. He kind of rolls with them but here’s Paul Heyman instead. Heyman knows he’s not man enough to get in the ring with Goldberg but he knows someone who is.
Cue Brock Lesnar for the staredown with Heyman saying that no one is happier for Goldberg than Lesnar himself. Only one of them can walk out as the winner because the other will walk out of Wrestlemania as the loser. Lesnar extends his hand as Goldberg looks at Lesnar, meaning it’s an F5 for the new champ.
Jack Gallagher/Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese/Noam Dar
Gallagher does his headstand in the corner to scare Nese off so he brings in Dar to take Ali’s headscissors. You know what that means. Yeah apparently WWE thinks that a basic move on a nothing show is going to get the next Undertaker Loses reaction so CUE THE FREAKING CROWD SHOT.
Back from a break with Ali armdragging Nese into an armbar. Gallagher comes in and gets beaten down as well with the tag formula going full steam ahead. Jack escapes a body vise and makes the hot tag to Ali for the rolling neckbreaker. Gallagher is brought right back in for the headbutts, setting up the inverted 450 to give Ali the pin at 9:15.
Rating: C-. This felt like it was out of the early days of the cruiserweight division and that’s not a good thing. There’s no particular reason for these four to be fighting (or teaming together for that matter) but they had ten minutes to do their thing, which wasn’t all that impressive. It’s certainly not bad but nothing you’ll want to see again.
And now from the end of Raw.
Here’s Strowman to finish what he started last night. Roman’s music starts but is quickly replaced by a gong because here comes Undertaker. The fans are WAY into this staredown but Braun bails into the crowd as the fans cheer for Undertaker. As Undertaker goes to leave, cue Reigns for the real staredown. The fans aren’t quite as into this and boo Reigns out of the building as he says this isn’t about Undertaker. Reigns says it’s his yard now (that’s all this match needed to set it up) and that earns him a chokeslam. We get a shot of the Wrestlemania logo over Undertaker’s shoulder before he walks out to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. In what’s becoming a horrible trend, there’s nothing to talk about with the original stuff, which becomes a rather irritating problem. The good thing is that we had a strong Raw to balance things out and give us some good clips. I know there’s a reason for this show to stay around but the lack of effort is getting really tiresome.
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Main Event – December 29, 2016: The Best Thing That Could Happen to Him
Main Event Date: December 29, 2016
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries
We’re wrapping up the year with one more dark match show, meaning it’s hard to say what to expect here. Now that Jinder Mahal seems to be a regular on Monday Night Raw, we need a new top villain. By top villain, I mean wrestler who hardly ever does anything beyond job to people only slightly higher on the totem pole than him. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Curtis Axel vs. Titus O’Neil
The announcers talk about Axel’s recent face turn as he dropkicks Titus to the floor for a long breather. Back in and Titus shoves him down and starts on the leg as Aries suggests a thumb to the eye. Titus kicks at the leg even more and stops a comeback attempt with a single right hand to the jaw. Axel fights up but the leg prevents a PerfectPlex. Instead it’s the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 5:28.
Rating: C-. As uninteresting as this was and as much as it makes my head shake that Titus O’Neil of all people is now beating Curtis Axel, this wasn’t a half bad match. Titus worked a body part and that played into the finish, which is good for more psychology than Titus has probably had in his whole career.
From Raw.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
New Day is challenging with Big E. on the floor. Cesaro gets beaten down in a hurry with double middle rope elbows and a legdrop for two each. Woods is thrown out to the floor and comes up grabbing his knee as we take a break. Back with Woods diving through the ropes into a tornado DDT to plant Cesaro on the floor.
The hot tag brings Kofi in for the flip dive and a slightly botched counter into the SOS for two on Sheamus. Everything breaks down and Woods’ top rope elbow gets two on Sheamus with Cesaro making the save. The Swing goes on but Big E. gets on the apron for a distraction. That earns Kofi a gorilla press down onto the big man and a blind tag sets up the Brogue Kick to retain the titles at 10:11.
Rating: C+. This was the required rematch so Cesaro and Sheamus can move on to someone else. New Day is in the Edge and Christian position of having long since outgrown the tag division so it’s time to move on to a new endeavor. Unfortunately I’m not sure what that’s going to be but a strong Kofi singles run could be interesting.
Video on Braun Strowman’s recent violence.
Also from Raw.
Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman
Strowman throws him into the corner to start but Seth gets in a suicide dive on the floor. Back in and the enziguri and springboard knee to the head stagger the monster. A second knee has him even more wobbled but he pulls Seth out of the air on the third attempt. Seth actually drops him with a Blockbuster but the Pedigree is countered with a backdrop over the top. Braun runs him over again….and here’s Sami through the crowd to jump Strowman for the DQ at 3:34.
Rating: C. I would have had Strowman go over clean here but I can live with what they did. Rollins shouldn’t be squashed but he sold quite a bit for the monster, which is the best thing they could have done without having him get destroyed. Strowman didn’t lose though and that helps so much.
Goldberg is back on Monday.
Tony Nese vs. Lince Dorado
Rematch from last week. They flip around to start until Dorado takes him down with an armbar. Back up and Nese stomps him in the corner as Aries talks about taking the title at will when he’s allowed back in the ring. A springboard middle rope moonsault misses though and Dorado nails one of his own for two.
Back from a break with Dorado eating a hot shot, followed by a clothesline for two more. La majistral gives Dorado another two but Nese kicks him down and grabs a bodyscissors. Dorado fights up and hits a Tajiri handspring Stunner, followed by a shooting star headbutt (he left it short) for the pin at 11:12.
Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect it to be and that’s not necessarily the best thing in the world. Nese is getting better in the ring and it probably has something to do with being away from Gulak most of the time. They’re building up a character for him and that’s the best thing that can happen for Nese at the moment.
From Raw to wrap it up.
US Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns is defending. Owens hides in the corner to start and gets knocked to the floor with a right hand. Back in and Owens starts to slowly hammer away but Reigns clotheslines him down. Cue Jericho for a distraction so Owens can score with a DDT. The backsplash gets two and we take an early break.
Back with Owens getting two off the Cannonball and we hit the chinlock. Owens: “ASK HIM!” Reigns fights up and gets in the apron kick, only to get caught with a Backstabber for two. It’s too early for the Pop Up Powerbomb though so Reigns grabs the sitout powerbomb for two.
The Superman Punch misses but the second attempt connects for two on Owens. Jericho offers a distraction though and Owens gets in a Codebreaker for two. This brings out Rollins to Pedigree Jericho on the floor but Owens superkicks Seth down. Back in and the spear ends Owens at 16:21.
Rating: C-. I’m actually starting to get a kick out of WWE trolling the fans so hard. They just had the World Champion get pinned as close to clean as a World Champion is going to get pinned by Reigns again and they did it in Chicago no less. As much as I can’t stand the booking, there’s something amazing about how much WWE is willing to screw the fans over for their own ambitions.
Post match Owens gets Pedigreed and Jericho gets speared to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Completely average show this week and that’s about all you can expect from Main Event most of the time. I’m really not interested in Dorado and I don’t think that’s exactly a rare perspective but at least the match was watchable. It’s not fair to expect great things from a show like this but it was fine for about forty five minutes.
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Main Event – December 22, 2016: Why the Cruiserweights Don’t Work
Main Event Date: December 22, 2016
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries
I’m curious to see what they’re going to do with what should be a holiday show. I know we already had one of those last week but shouldn’t that have been taking place this week instead? Either way we’re at one of the last shows before the end of the year and it’s hard to guess what we might get here, save for some uninteresting lower card matches. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Goldust vs. Curtis Axel
Goldust, who apparently debuted before Tom was born (according to Aries at least), works on the arm to start and grabs a powerslam to send Axel outside. Now it’s time for Curtis to work on the arm as I guess he’s a heel again this week. R-Truth plays cheerleader on the floor as Goldust comes back with a spinebuster to put both guys down. Ten right hands in the corner have Axel in more trouble and the Final Cut wraps Axel up at 5:21.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but that’s what Main Event is for now that Jinder Mahal seems to be getting a small push on Raw. Why Mahal is the one getting that spot isn’t clear but I’m sure general idiocy can be blamed on some level. That being said, what did Axel do to deserve all these losses? He can’t even beat Goldust anymore?
Back to Raw for the first time.
Here’s New Day to address their title loss. They’re cool with losing the titles because Ric Flair couldn’t become a sixteen time champion without losing fifteen times. Big E.: “And that’s Charlotte in a month.” After declaring that they still rock, here are the new champions to interrupt. Sheamus and Cesaro are already bickering over who won last night so New Day insults Sheamus a bit more.
Cesaro on the other hand has catlike reflexes and is strong like a……someone help Big E. out. Cesaro: “Like an ox?” Kofi was thinking more like a carpenter ant who can lift seven times his own weight. They bicker a lot with Woods talking about how much merchandise they have at the moment. Cue Anderson and Gallows to talk about how sick they are of the New Day nerds, only to be cut off by the Shining Stars. A brawl breaks out and you can book the eight man tag from here.
Shining Stars/Anderson and Gallows vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/New Day
This is joined in progress with Epico hitting a nice double underhook gutbuster on Kofi. Gallows and Anderson take turns on Kingston as Saxton thinks Cesaro and Sheamus had one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of the division last night. This is why people make fun of you Byron. Anderson spikes Kofi and we take a break.
Back with the Shining Stars diving onto the champs and the Boot of Doom getting two on Kofi. Big E. comes in to clean house but Sheamus tags himself in, setting up an assisted White Noise for two on Epico. Cesaro comes in and swings Primo into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 10:46.
Rating: C. That’s your tag division people: the bickering champs, the bald guys who put “ski” at the end of random words, the jobbers and the team that is better than all of them put together. New Day is in a weird place now as they need something new to do but I’m not sure how they’re going to go fight outside of the division.
From Raw again.
Here’s Charlotte to address winning the title back last night. She goes into a big speech about how no one is on her level because she’s a guaranteed win on pay per view. This brings out Bayley and Charlotte isn’t pleased. Bayley knows Sasha vs. Charlotte was the greatest rivalry of all time but now it’s time for the Bayley vs. Charlotte rivalry to begin.
Last night was all about the scoreboard and Bayley is 2-0 against Charlotte, including at Survivor Series earlier this year. Charlotte put up four fingers last night for the Four Horsewomen but Bayley didn’t come up with the rest of them because she just wasn’t good enough. The challenge is issued and Charlotte actually agrees to fight right now.
Bayley vs. Charlotte
Non-title. Charlotte works the arm to start and puts Bayley in trouble with the figure four headscissors. A headlock gets Bayley out of trouble and she rides Charlotte on the mat. We even get a little strut before Charlotte is sent outside. Back from a break with Charlotte ramming Bayley face first into the mat over and over.
A chinlock keeps Bayley in trouble but she fights out of the corner and gets in her sliding clothesline. Charlotte sends her into the corner again but the moonsault only gets two. Bayley reverses a chop into a backslide (with Charlotte’s shoulder clearly up) to put Charlotte away at 14:45. Graves points out the shoulder being up and replays confirm it.
Rating: D+. This was actually one of the sloppier matches I’ve seen in a good while. Maybe it was nerves or Charlotte being a bit tired after last night but this really didn’t work as well as I was expecting. I don’t think Bayley gets the title at the Royal Rumble but the big match at Wrestlemania has a lot of potential.
Tony Nese vs. Lince Dorado
Dorado speeds things up to start and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar. Aries’ suggestion: poke him in the eye. Nese finally powers him up into a backbreaker as we go to a break. Back with Dorado going hard into the buckle and Nese posing a bit. One heck of a clothesline gets two for Tony and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Dorado fights up and hits the handspring Stunner, followed by the big dive over the top for good measure. Back in and Lince kicks him on the top, only to get shoved away, setting up the 450 for the pin at 11:48.
Rating: C-. Nese’s posing and power displays helped but this really wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Dorado really doesn’t do anything for me as he really is as generic of a luchador as you’re going to find. In other words, this was the cruiserweight equivalent of power vs. speed and it didn’t work all that well.
We see Jericho getting locked inside the shark cage on Monday.
We’ll wrap it up with Monday’s main event.
Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho
Rollins gets caught in the wrong corner to start and the Canadians take turns stomping him down. A quick Sling Blade puts Jericho down for two and the bad guys try to leave, only to get caught from behind. Back from a break with Reigns hitting his running clothesline on Owens, only to get decked so Jericho can take over.
The slow beating continues and we even get one of the suddenly favorite crowd reactions shots, showing a very bored looking girl. Owens puts on a chinlock of his own until Reigns gets free off a Samoan drop. Rollins comes in with a DDT/neckbreaker combo, earning himself two more crowd reaction shots. Jericho blocks a Pedigree and the frog splash to set up the Walls, sending Seth over to the ropes. Reigns gets in a Superman Punch and reaches for the hot tag, only to have Strowman run out to go after Roman for the DQ at 15:04.
Rating: D. Strowman getting involved is at least a little more interesting but DANG I’m bored with the main event scene right now. People were ready to cheer for Jericho, only to have the carpet pulled out from underneath them because SURPRISE, we’re right back where we were when these matches were announced.
A powerslam plants Reigns as Jericho and Owens watch from the ramp.
Overall Rating: D. This was bad even by Main Event’s standards and that’s about as low as you’re going to get in wrestling. The stuff from Raw wasn’t very good, the original wrestling wasn’t very good and Byron Saxton still has a job. Aries was his usual entertaining self but you have to give him something to work with or it’s going to be bad, like this one. Really lame show this week and that’s not nice around the holidays.
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Main Event – November 29, 2016: Even The Benches Are Better
Main Event Date: November 29, 2016
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
I’m not sure what to expect this week as we’re officially taped on Mondays now with Superstars being added to the canceled list. Last week’s show was a lot of fun with a big focus on past moments but I have a feeling this is going to be back to the standard. Thankfully that’s hardly a bad thing so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Sin Cara vs. Bo Dallas
Feeling out process to start with something like a springboard armdrag sending Bo outside for a breather. A running hip attack staggers Cara though and it’s off to a chinlock. Cara comes back with a springboard crossbody and a standing Lionsault for two. The swanton misses though and a Roll of the Dice puts Cara away at 4:32.
Rating: D. So Cara keeps getting pushed on Raw (at least making appearances) while Dallas keeps winning over on Main Event and can’t even get a cameo on Raw? Remember a few weeks ago when he was winning a few matches on the big show? Apparently WWE doesn’t either and just put him on this show for reasons that aren’t clear.
Back to Monday for something that hadn’t happened when this was taped.
We get a sitdown interview with Paul Heyman, who says he and Brock Lesnar screwed up by underestimating Goldberg. After twelve years on the sidelines, Goldberg stepped into the ring and cracked Lesnar’s ribs with a spear. This is now part of Lesnar’s legacy and it’s an embarrassment. The loss makes Lesnar think he has something to prove, which really scares Heyman, who doesn’t know what it’s going to turn Lesnar into. If Goldberg is in the Royal Rumble, so is Brock, which means there will be one conqueror, 28 losers, and one victim.
Also from Raw, we get a montage of Seth Rollins beating up Chris Jericho and Roman Reigns beating Kevin Owens, earning himself a title shot at Roadblock in December.
Darren Young/Curtis Axel vs. Shining Stars
Curtis and Epico get things going before it’s off to Darren for a wristlock. You can hear the nearly stoic silence as Young works a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop sends Epico outside and a double clothesline does the same thing to Primo. Back from a break with Epico finally going for the throat to take over but the threat of a Backlund sends Epico running into a rollup.
Young gets beaten down in the wrong corner with Primo breaking up a comeback attempt. A belly to belly suplex is enough for the hot tag off to Curtis for the house cleaning. Axel suplexes Primo but Epico plays Bobby Heenan for the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude finish to put Curtis away at 11:25.
Rating: D+. Just a tag match here as Backlund continues to be the most interesting thing one out of the whole group. There’s a reason these guys are over on Main Event instead of getting time on the main show. Axel has potential but LOSING EVERY SINGLE WEEK isn’t exactly doing him any favors.
One more Raw clip to take us home.
Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks
Charlotte is defending and this is anything goes with falls counting anywhere. Sasha starts fast by knocking the champ outside and scoring with a suicide dive. A double clothesline puts both women down as we take a break. Back with Sasha fighting out of a bodyscissors and kneeing Charlotte in the face.
The double knees in the corner miss though and a big boot knocks Sasha off the apron for two on the floor. Natural Selection on the floor gets the same and the champ is annoyed. The annoyance takes so long that Sasha pulls out a kendo stick and swings away, drawing the ECW chants. Charlotte knocks her down again and grabs the Figure Eight, only to have a stick shot break it up.
They fight towards the announcers’ table where Charlotte moonsaults onto Sasha….or at least a few feet to Sasha’s right, for a near fall. Sasha gets in a Thesz press off the barricade for two more and both of them are down. They head into the crowd and Sasha ties her up in a handrail, setting up the Bank Statement to make Charlotte tap at 16:28.
Rating: B. I’m not sure how many more times I can put this the same way: the match was good, Charlotte missed the big spot, and Sasha gets the title back. She’s held the title twice before with both reigns lasting twenty seven days. It’s really hard to care again when we’ve seen this multiple times and it’s ended in less than a month both times. Still though, good stuff.
Ric Flair comes out, raises Sasha’s hand, and is gone in less than thirty seconds. Banks celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Dang it they’ve ruined Main Event. I’m running out of ways to say that Smackdown is the better show but now even their benches are beating Raw. The original wrestling here was horrible but at least Charlotte vs. Sasha was fun to see again. Thanks for taking away some of the fun I was having WWE. I’m sure it was worth it for the sake of Darren Young and Bo Dallas.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Superstars – November 25, 2016: Is It So Much To Ask?
Superstars Date: November 25, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We’re past Survivor Series and that could mean some changes for WWE and Superstars in particular. You never know what you’re going to get on here, and by that I mean you never know what you’re going to get to go with Jinder Mahal vs. Darren Young. Those two are destined to fight for all eternity it seems so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Sin Cara vs. Jinder Mahal
The fans seem confused as to why Mahal is here and I can’t say I disagree. Feeling out process to start with Cara’s backdrop drawing a smattering of applause. Mahal gets in a shot of his own and does that stupid peace pose. A kneedrop sets up the required chinlock and there’s that peace pose again because that’s Mahal’s entire character, if you can call it that. Mahal gets dropkicked out of the air and Cara’s Swanton Bomb is enough for the pin at 5:02.
Rating: D-. I know I’ve made this comparison time after time but it’s really annoying to see the difference between Superstars and Main Event. Every week it feels like Superstars is just having a match because they have to while Main Event comes off like they’re at least trying. It helps so much and can actually be entertaining. Why be boring when you don’t have to be?
Video on Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar.
From Monday.
Here’s Goldberg getting the full entrance to open things up. Goldberg thanks the fans for letting him be Goldberg again. He also thanks his wife and son for putting up with him and he got to be a star again one more time. Last night he ran into Stephanie McMahon who said he did have one more spear and Jackhammer in him (three spears and two Jackhammers if you’re counting) but the question is does he have one more title run left in him. The fans go NUTS over that prospect and Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble.
And from Monday again.
Raw Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Sheamus/Cesaro
New Day is defending and talk about breaking Demolition’s record for longest Tag Team Title reign in just 23 days. A powerslam gives Cesaro two on Big E. to start but Kofi escapes an early Swing attempt. Instead Cesaro sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kofi dropkicking Sheamus out of the air but getting Irish Cursed for two.
Sheamus won’t tag out though and we get some heel (I think?) miscommunication with Cesaro being knocked off the apron. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house as everything breaks down. The Warrior Splash gets two on Sheamus but he rakes Big E.’s eyes to set up White Noise for the same.
It’s back to Cesaro vs. Kofi with the Uppercut Train taking off, only to have an SOS get two. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Cesaro Swing which goes into the Sharpshooter. The Brogue Kick puts Big E. down but Woods gets on the apron for the distraction as Kofi taps. Ever the moron, Cesaro lets the hold go and gets small packaged for the pin at 12:18.
Rating: C+. So they seem to be turning New Day heel. I think I can actually go with that as I’d much rather go there than have Cesaro and Sheamus stop them just before the record. Obviously they haven’t gotten there yet and there’s always the possibility that they’ll switch the titles with two days to go, but at least they didn’t do it here.
Bo Dallas vs. Curtis Axel
We actually get a video showing their breakup from last month. Dallas goes after the knee to start and we hit an early cravate. Back up and a few clotheslines set up a Hennig necksnap on Bo as we go to a break. We come back with the Axehole getting two on Bo as this just keeps going. Dallas blocks a suplex to the floor and hits an elevated Final Cut of all things for two. The PerfectPlex gives Curtis the same but he can’t grab a super PerfectPlex. Axel settles for a neckbreaker out of the corner, only to walk into the Roll of the Dice for the pin at 11:54.
Rating: D. This just KEPT GOING with Axel hitting and trying everything he had and getting shut down every time. I really don’t know why Dallas is getting such a strong push but it’s getting annoying to see Axel lose every single time. This show really didn’t do much for Superstars’ reputation though as it was boring to start and never got any better.
We’ll wrap it up with Raw’s main event.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
Owens is defending and there are no disqualifications with Jericho and Reigns barred from ringside. Kevin tries to bail to the floor and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. The springboard knee to the head gets two inside thirty seconds so it’s already table time. Owens grabs the package piledriver slam and we take an early break.
Back with Owens in full control and hammering Seth in the head. A Sling Blade and suicide dive take Owens out, leading to another commercial. Back again with an exchange of strikes to the face putting both guys down. The frog splash misses Owens and it’s a Cannonball into a chair onto Rollins for a close two. Owens sets up a pair of chairs for a powerbomb and you can see the backdrop counter coming before it happens.
Another table is set up in the corner and the Buckle Bomb drives Owens through it for a very close two. They fight into the crowd with Rollins getting the better of it by throwing a trashcan at the champ. Owens tries the powerbomb but Seth grabs the balcony wall and pulls himself up for a big dive. They make it back to ringside but a masked man shoves Rollins off the barricade. Of course it’s Jericho and of course he gets a Pedigree on the floor. The Apron Powerbomb wipes Rollins out though and Owens throws him back in to retain at 23:07.
Rating: B+. Really good stuff here as it felt like a full on pay per view main event with high spots and near falls. The Jericho interference was a stretch and I’m kind of hoping it isn’t used to set up another rematch at Roadblock as I’m pretty much over Rollins vs. Owens after this one. Really good main event though and I bought Rollins as a title threat.
Overall Rating: D. Sweet goodness this show doesn’t make it easy. Well ok so I’d never call this difficult to sit through but they make no secret about the fact that the original matches are just there for the sake of requiring original matches. They don’t seem to even be trying out there and it gets really annoying to sit through week after week. Mix up the lineup or put in some kind of effort. That’s not too much to ask.
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Superstars – November 18, 2016: The Fourth Part is Always Bad
Superstars Date: November 18, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It’s another week of Superstars and unfortunately that means another week of highlights from a Raw that wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. Main Event has completely pulled away from Superstars for its original content so hopefully things can get a bit closer to even this week. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Titus O’Neil vs. Curtis Axel
And so much for that idea. At least we don’t have to put up with that Titus Brand stuff on Raw anymore. Curtis takes him into the corner and dances away before the referee annoyingly tries to break up a brawl, allowing Titus to score with a big boot. We hit the horrible chinlock with Titus talking trash and trying to start an AXELMANIA chant. Axel makes his comeback with the necksnap and a running knee to the face for two. Not that it matters as Titus sends him chest first into the buckle, setting up the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D. That might become my standard rating for all Titus matches. He can talk a decent amount of trash but at some point you have to be able to do more than throw people through the air and do a Sky High. Also, so much for believing in Curtis Axel, who might have been building up towards a small push but now he’s jobbing to Titus. Oh joy indeed.
Off to Raw for the first time.
It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.
The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.
And then the second.
New Day vs. Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman/Chris Jericho
Jericho and Kofi start things off and that’s not a bad thing. An elbow to the jaw puts Kofi on the mat and it’s quickly off to Woods vs. Rollins with the latter coming in off a chop to the chest. That goes nowhere either as they hit the mat for Seth’s headlock before it’s back to Jericho as New Day takes over. The Warrior splash gets two and Kofi comes back in, only to get slammed by Braun as we take a break.
Back with Braun holding Kofi in a nerve hold before handing it back to Rollins. Some double knees put Seth down but it’s Strowman running cross the ring to kick Big E. in the face. We wind up with Woods kicking Jericho in the back and Strowman plowing through the other two opponents. Woods finally kicks him in the face and forearms Rollins in the jaw. That’s enough for Braun though as it’s a powerslam to end Xavier at 14:06.
Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end as Woods continues to be great at the last chance offense. Strowman is getting better at being a rampaging monster but he’s still in need of some more experience. I liked the match well enough though and New Day will be fine with a loss like this. That being said, it’s getting harder and harder to care about these one off matches between people with no animosity.
Jinder Mahal vs. Darren Young
Four times. I’ve done this show eight times now and this has been on the card on four occasions. Mahal hides in the corner to start (I’d hide from this match too) until a shoulder block and a jumping seated senton get two. A big boot puts Young on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Mahal choking in the corner and shouting that peace catchphrase that no one has ever caught nor used as a phrase. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Mahal yells at Bob Backlund before putting on another chinlock. See, it’s the yelling that makes it more impressive. Young fights up with some belly to belly suplexes and that belly to back on the apron. Back up and Mahal sends him throat first into the rope, setting up a Regal Cutter for the pin at 11:12.
Rating: D. They’re trolling me. Like, they have to be at this point. Either that or they really do pay absolutely no attention to this show and Mahal and Young just go out there because no one notices what they do every week. Unfortunately that means we have to put up with these two fighting almost every other week despite the fact that neither is interesting. Boring match here and it’s probably a matter of time before they fight again.
A two minute highlight package of the Survivor Series Summit wraps the show up.
Overall Rating: D+. This week, Main Event gave us a good Luke Harper vs. Apollo Crews match and a perfectly watchable Vaudevillains vs. Breezango match. This show gave us the fourth incarnation of a match that hasn’t been interesting yet and another bad Titus O’Neil match. It’s really amazing that Superstars is treated as a wasteland and Main Event is a show with a little effort put in. Another just barely passable show this week and that’s sad given what can be done with something like this.
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2013: When It Reigns, It’s Really, Really About Reigns.
Survivor Series 2013 Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
While those two matches aren’t the most interesting in the world, there is one match that had people’s interest. Daniel Bryan and CM Punk have both been having issues with the bizarre cult leader Bray Wyatt and his Family. The two will pair up tonight to face the Family (Luke Harper and Erick Rowan), though the real story will pick up when Bray himself gets involved. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.
Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin.
Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there, the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.
The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the World Title matches.
Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield
Elimination rules of course and the Real Americans are Jack Swagger and Cesaro. The Usos are twin Samoan high fliers. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter (a VERY proud American who wants all non-Americans to leave the country) does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that?
Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the anniversary of Shield’s debut. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.
Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event of the first Survivor Series and the fourth match ever).
Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.
Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. He must be tired tonight. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.
Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.
Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.
It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.
Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the win.
Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. They’re clearly setting him up to be something special, though the results since have been very mixed.
Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.
Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston
Langston, defending here, is a powerlifter and incredibly strong. This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday before why change the title here? Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.
The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, though the same chant at Langston wouldn’t surprise me. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain.
Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too since they couldn’t do the title change here due to reasons.
Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.
AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”
Team AJ vs. Total Divas
AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana
Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya
This is the result of a reality show on the E Network called Total Divas. The show resulted in Divas Champion AJ Lee going on an incredible rant about how she was a wrestler and not a reality star, setting up a feud. The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) are Brodus Clay’s former dancers. Eva Marie and JoJo were hired only to be on Total Divas. Aksana is Lithuanian and not very good. Rosa Mendes is even worse, Summer Rae is the dance partner of a wrestler named Fandango and Kaitlyn is the anti-Diva.
The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.
It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.
Aksana comes in and pins Brie after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.
Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the dual sole survivors.
Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality “stars” are the heroes, no matter what.
Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.
The expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.
Mark Henry vs. Ryback
Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin.
Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the monster that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.
Now the panel talks a bit.
We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace despite having to take a few months off for elbow surgery.
World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Cena is defending. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.
Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.
Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.
The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title.
Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for a while to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.
Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores (Primo and Epico as bullfighters), Fandango and John Laurinitis come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.
We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray so he’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.
Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan
Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bray’s promos have always been strange. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.
Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.
Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets caught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.
Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT (suicide dive) takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.
A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.
There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper.
Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future.
Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.
Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.
We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. I wonder what’s going to happen.
WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show
Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.
Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.
That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain.
Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show.
Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem, but it would actually be next month.
Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.
Ratings Comparison
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
Original:B-
Redo: C
Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos
It’s another version looking at some smaller stories because I’d be wasting your time looking at Charlotte vs. Sasha again or complaining about Stephanie being annoying.
Monday Night Raw – October 24, 2016: Who Needs Sunday and a Cell?
Monday Night Raw Date: October 24, 2016
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
The Beast is back tonight as Brock Lesnar is here for his first comments about his upcoming match with Goldberg. In addition to that we have two big matches including Sheamus and Cesaro vs. New Day in a non-title match and Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens in a triple threat. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Jericho to open things up with some terrible news: tonight’s triple threat match has been canceled until further notice. The fans aren’t happy with that one but Jericho says it’s because SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE LIST OF JERICHO. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Jericho isn’t leaving until the List is returned but here’s Owens to interrupt. Owens doesn’t care who has the List but he’ll help Jericho find it once they get rid of Rollins.
Jericho says there’s no triple threat match tonight but here’s Stephanie McMahon to interrupt. She explains the idea of the triple threat (because Stephanie thinks all fans are idiots) and here’s Rollins with the List. Jericho freaks out and Stephanie goes all screechy to say give it back.
Seth sees Stephanie mentioned as a stupid idiot but at the very bottom is Jericho’s former best friend, Kevin Owens. Rollins wants to start a new list about Owens, who has no idea how it is inside the Cell. He’ll also kick Owens’ teeth down his throat and break his face with a Pedigree so he can teach HHH and Stephanie a lesson (because that’s what really matters in this whole thing).
This segment showed how horribly uninteresting this whole thing is when Jericho isn’t talking. Owens barely got to say anything and Rollins wants to win the title to show up HHH and Stephanie. Some main event feud. Also, did Stephanie need to be here? Like at all? She came out, told Jericho to do the main event (which Owens had already done) and was insulted that she was on the list (like Owens a few seconds later).
Post break Stephanie tells Rollins to give the List back because the fans were promised a triple threat. Rollins vents about Stephanie’s real intentions and says the List is in the locker room.
Enzo Amore vs. Karl Anderson
Anderson and Gallows have cut off Enzo’s mic so he and the crowd do it with pure vocal power. Enzo fires off rights and lefts in the corner but dives into a spinebuster as we take an early break. Back with Enzo getting kicked in the face but stopping a charge in the corner. A rollup is broken up but Cass kicks Karl in the face to give Enzo the pin at 7:39.
Rating: D+. I almost had this whole match written from the opening bell because this was exactly what you would have expected these two to do. It’s fine to set up the tag match and thank goodness we didn’t hear any of Anderson and Gallows trying to be funny. Enzo and Cass need to win on Sunday as it’s not like Anderson and Gallows can go much further into the hole.
Rusev says he slept like a baby last night because he gets his hands on Roman Reigns inside the Cell this Sunday. Reigns has done a lot of horrible things but now it’s Rusev’s chance to crush him for good. Simple and to the point here, as it should be.
New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
Non-title. Before the match, New Day praises Cesaro but says Sheamus shames us because no one wants to see him. Woods is the odd man out here, which is kind of surprising as they’re normally defending the titles. Cesaro’s backbreaker gets two on Kofi and a double back elbows shows that Cesaro and Sheamus can actually work together. New Day quickly gets it together and takes Sheamus into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede.
Back from a break with Kofi in trouble and taking the ten forearms to the chest. Cesaro misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Big E. to deal with Sheamus. The Irish Curse gets two on Big E. and Cesaro’s vertical suplex gets the same. The Midnight Hour is broken up but Kofi is launched straight into the uppercut. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Big E. for the pin at 11:45.
Rating: C+. Let’s see. Yeah I’m checking here. Maybe….almost….nah I still don’t care about Sheamus and Cesaro. They’re still the same uninteresting pair that have been around since before Summerslam and still are little more than a rehash of the League of Nations having problems against New Day back in the spring. New Day needs to roll over them and give us the record in December. If you just have to give these two the belts after that then so be it but don’t mess with the year plus run for this stupid idea.
We look back at Goldberg’s return.
Jericho frantically looks for the List but runs into Titus O’Neil, the Shining Stars and Jinder Mahal, all of whom have something for him other than the List (Titus Brand, travel brochures and a breathing exercise).
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Bayley has a taped up shoulder after last week. Dana says not so fast because she doesn’t like the idea of last week’s win being called an upset. Tonight there’s going to be another match but this time it’s arm wrestling. Dana easily wins so Bayley offers to go left handed. Bayley starts to win and of course Dana decks her and turns the table over for the beatdown. A Bayley to Belly sends Dana running and thankfully cuts off the BORING chants. Can you blame the fans for not being impressed here?
Jericho is freaking out over the List when he runs into Stephanie, who isn’t interested in helping him. Stephanie lists off everything she has going on and says Jericho is in the match, List or not. Chris says no List and no match, ya dig? That’s not cool with the boss, who says Jericho wrestles or gets suspended.
Curtis Axel vs. Bo Dallas
Before the match, Axel does a really good speech about his Minnesota roots and being Curt Hennig’s son. Bo starts fast but the Roll of the Dice is countered into a PerfectPlex for two. I bought that for a second. A running forearm drops Curtis and we hit the chinlock. Axel fights out and hits the running neck snap for two and that’s it for his offense as Dallas grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:58. I’ve said Axel should be pushed as a face for years and this was more evidence that I’m right. It’s also more evidence that WWE gets way too much pleasure out of having people lose in their hometown.
Video on Rich Swann.
Jericho is about to leave when a guy comes up to say he saw the List. Chris finds…..Braun Strowman looking at it and asks for it back. Braun: “Say please.” Strowman doesn’t see Sami Zayn’s name on the List but gives it back anyway. Jericho says it’s on page four and since Braun touched his personal property, HE JUST MADE THE LIST!
Roman Reigns talks about being in the Cell, which Rusev hasn’t experienced. Reigns takes this personally and is ready to do anything to keep the title on Sunday.
We run down the card for Sunday’s show.
Golden Truth vs. Shining Stars
Mark Henry is with Golden Truth and Titus is with the Stars, which makes me feel a bit better about their earlier segment. It’s really nice to have them actually have a reason to be in the back instead of just showing up for a cameo. I love little things like that. Corey is reading a brochure as the Stars come out to the ring as he needs to get his mom a birthday gift.
Primo is dropped by Goldust to start but some double teaming puts him down. The snap powerslam puts Epico down and everything breaks down with Titus low bridging Truth to the floor. Henry shoves Titus into the ropes to crotch Epico, setting up a flapjack into Little Jimmy for the pin at 4:02.
Rating: D. Can someone take this show behind the barn and shoot it already? I’ll actually give this match a little credit: they’re trying to build something out of nothing and it could be a lot worse. I mean, there’s at least something there and a moderate attempt to be interesting. It’s not really working and the match feels like a nacho break but I’ll take what I can get.
Mick Foley is in the ring for the contract signing between Sasha Banks and Charlotte. They talk about how big of a moment this is going to be, only to have Foley go into his annual rant about how evil the Cell is. Charlotte calls Sasha an entitled second rate talent who will learn respect from the Queen this Sunday. Sasha is ready to crawl up the ramp broken and bloodied as long as she has the Women’s Title. They trade insults but Foley cuts them both off to say he’s their future. Dude if the Cell is going to turn them into 6’4 men with long beards, maybe we should cancel the match.
As expected, the fans chant for Foley, thereby completely missing the point of this segment. Foley met Charlotte as a child and his kids gave Sasha their signed photo of Eddie Guerrero. More insults and a double signing FINALLY wrap this up. Charlotte vs. Sasha in a major gimmick match is fine but no one, like NO ONE, buys that the match is going to be all violent and career threatening like Foley is pushing and that kills the idea.
Emmalina video.
Brian Kendrick vs. Rich Swann
TJ Perkins is on commentary. As Kendrick makes his entrance, we see clips of his run from seven to ten years ago. It’s very sad that the #1 contender to a title doesn’t even have enough video from his current run for a highlight reel. In case you didn’t know, Perkins runs down his history with Kendrick (Brian was his mentor) for the millionth or so time.
Swann flips over Brian and hits a good looking dropkick. A spinning dive to the floor takes Kendrick down and we head to a break. Back with Swann fighting out of a chinlock and snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. What looks like a victory roll is broken up but Swann slips out of the Captain’s Hook and grabs a cradle for the pin at 9:14.
Rating: C. So Swann, who looked a lot better here, pins the #1 contender for a title that has no heat going into a pay per view title match. I get that Swann is likely the next challenger but they’re ruining this division more week by week. I’ll spare you another list of problems and just say Swann looked good here and go on.
Owens promises violence on Sunday but he’s the only one coming back.
Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn
This has the potential to be good so let’s see how they can screw it up. Before the bell, Strowman says he wants competition but he doesn’t see that in front of him. Strowman shoves him away but Sami low bridges him to the floor. This goes badly for Sami as he dives at Braun, only to get thrown into the barricade. Strowman walks away and there’s no match.
Kendrick comes in to see Perkins and says the clock is ticking on his career. If TJ loses on Sunday, he’ll bounce back. If Brian loses, that’s it for feeding his family. TJ walks away.
Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman with something to say. Heyman does his usual schtick about how Lesnar will smash Goldberg, only to have the Goldberg chants cut him off. Heyman calls out the fan that started them and says they’re getting on Brock’s nerves. After their match, all of the chants in the world won’t be able to put Goldberg back together again. Suplexes are promised and the fans go back and forth with SUPLEX CITY/GOLDBERG chants. Heyman rips on them and the chant turns into GOLDBERG SUCKS…..to wrap this up. Ok then. There was NOTHING here and it didn’t need Brock at all.
Owens and Jericho have a meeting before the triple threat with Chris asking if their friendship means as much as the title. Kevin smiles it off and doesn’t really answer. Jericho says they’ll still be best friends no matter what but Kevin looks concerned.
Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. They play keep away to start until Owens gets kicked out to the floor. A Blockbuster gets two on Jericho but Owens pulls Seth outside. The champ is sent into the barricade but Jericho throws Seth into the crowd. Back in and Owens scores with a clothesline, only to have Rollins avoid the Cannonball. The Pedigree doesn’t work on either Canadian but the Lionsault hits Seth’s knees.
Owens saves his buddy from a Pedigree and it’s time for the double teaming. The handicap portion continues until Owens is low bridged to the floor. Jericho eats the low superkick and Rollins dives onto Kevin. Seth misses the frog splash and eats a Codebreaker for two. Owens comes back in and slaps Rollins a lot as the STUPID IDIOT chants kick in. Rollins escapes a double superplex and pins both guys at the same time with a double rollup at 10:00.
Rating: C+. The match was fun but it’s WAY too late in the night to really matter. Rollins pinning the champ is appropriate as Owens has been a huge afterthought in this entire story. That also makes four straight times that Rollins has pinned Jericho so you certainly can’t say he’s getting too many wins.
Post match Owens and Jericho destroy Rollins by sending him hard into the steps. We’re still not done though as Rollins runs up the ramp and dives at Owens, only to get beaten down again. Owens gives him the Apron Bomb and walks back up the ramp to get his title so some posing can end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. What a dog of a show this was. There was no effort here and their best idea was to say “Raw Exclusive Pay Per View” over and over as many times as they could. This was every lame idea they could come up with in three hours with almost no one really trying and the show feeling even longer than usual. The worst part is the show wasn’t even the worst. What it was was lacking energy and that’s as bad as it’s going to get. Horrible stuff here and little more than making me want to get to Survivor Series instead of caring about Sunday.
Results
Enzo Amore b. Karl Anderson – Rollup
Cesaro and Sheamus b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.
Bo Dallas b. Curtis Axel – Rollup
Golden Truth b. Shining Stars – Flapjack into Little Jimmy to Epico
Rich Swann b. Brian Kendrick – Oklahoma Roll
Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho – Double rollup
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