Superstars Date: October 7, 2016
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
This is the kind of show you don’t often get in WWE: a quick and simple wrestling show where the in ring action is really all that matters. You’ll also get some highlights from this week’s Monday Night Raw while seeing some names that don’t often make it onto the major TV show. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal
Dang it I can’t get away from Mahal. Darren works on the wrist to start and almost falls over while trying a swinging neckbreaker. Mahal pulls him out of the corner though and drops some knees from the middle rope for his first two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another knee drop gets another two. Mahal has those long legs so it makes sense to use the knees that often. Back up and Young grabs a belly to back suplex onto the apron, followed by the Gut Check for the pin on Mahal at 4:21.
Rating: D. The wrestling was fine but these two combine for the personality of a chair. I’ll be very glad when the election is over and we can drop this making Darren Young great again nonsense. At least putting him on Superstars is better than making me watch him face Titus O’Neil every week on Raw.
We go back to Raw for the Roman Reigns/Rusev/Lana segment.
Here’s Roman Reigns to open the show and MY GOODNESS they’re booing him out of the building. WWE is asking for this one as Reigns just isn’t the kind of person who can go out there and talk full time. He goes into the guy line but here’s Lana to interrupt. Fans: “THANK YOU LANA!” With the accent slipping, Lana rips into Reigns for everything he’s done in recent weeks but Reigns just tells her to bring her husband out here if he wants that rematch.
Rusev comes out and the brawl is on again with the Bulgarian getting the better of it and knocking Reigns into the crowd. Rusev takes the belt and starts to walk up the ramp but Reigns sneaks up from behind him with a Superman Punch. Reigns grabs the mic and says they can have the rematch but it’s going to be inside the Cell.
Back to Raw and here’s most of New Day vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens.
Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. New Day
Non-title. Masterson and Kutcher are on commentary as Owens runs Woods over to start. Owens makes sure to jump over Xavier in the kind of funny bit that most people just don’t think to do. Woods gets taken into the corner for the double teaming as Kutcher talks about their new show. It’s off to Big E. to face Owens for some hip swiveling.
Graves says Saxton would be the Fez (character on That 70s Show, on which Masterson and Kutcher starred) of the commentary table, which sounds like a good insult, assuming you find dating Mila Kunis’ character to be a bad thing. Big E. gets beaten down even more as the announcers discuss middle names and scarves.
Back from a break with Owens and Big E. colliding off a double clothesline. Woods comes in and gets chinlocked before it’s back to Jericho for a running clothesline in the corner. A superplex is broken up and Woods gets two off a high crossbody. Owens breaks up a hot tag attempt and gets two off a DDT.
Cue Seth Rollins to the stage for a distraction though and Woods gets in an enziguri. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house (and swivel the hips of course) but Owens superkicks him down. Big E. and Owens go to the floor and Jericho gets the Liontamer on Woods, only to have Rollins offer a distraction. A quick Midnight Hour puts Jericho away at 16:25.
Rating: C-. This was much longer than it needed to be and served little more purpose than to have Kutcher and Masterson there to plug their new show. It’s a really bad sign that this is what the World Champion is being used for: a second hour tag match with little to gain other than helping set up a Netflix show. Well done WWE. It’s good to see what you think of what should be your flagship star. Masterson and Kutcher were both fine and seemed to be having a lot of fun, which is much better than you’re going to get out of most guest stars.
Rollins gives Jericho a Pedigree to really get under Owens’ skin.
Neville vs. Curtis Axel
Axel slams him to start and it’s already time to pose. A rollup gets one for Neville but Axel drives in some knees to the robes to take over again. We get the front flips across the corner and a dropkick sends Axel outside. That means a running flip dive but it’s way too early for the Red Arrow as Neville is kicked out to the floor. Back from a break with Axel hitting a great looking dropkick and grabbing an armbar chinlock. The Axehole (that neckbreaker faceplant that Axel used to use as a finisher before it stopped finishing anyone) gets two and it’s an enziguri into the Red Arrow for the pin on Axel at 7:18.
Rating: D+. Not the most exciting match in the world but I liked it better than the opener. Granted that’s probably due to having Neville in there instead of someone like Young as there’s so much more charisma in the second match. Axel continues to be someone that could go somewhere if they gave him the right story but there’s been too many losses and too much time gone over the years to make it work without something major.
Long recap of Charlotte vs. Sasha, going all the way back to the BFF’s days in NXT. They’ve both been fighting to prove themselves as the best in the world and have traded the title over the last few months.
Hispanic Heritage Month video on Cesar Chavez.
Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and we get Big Match Intros. Sasha kicks her outside and hits a suicide dive, setting up a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Charlotte in control and working on the back with a backbreaker (makes sense) and a hard shove into the corner. Sasha blocks the big boot and gets two off the double knees.
The champ is sent outside but is still able to drop Sasha’s back onto the apron. Sasha tries to go up top but gets knocked onto the ropes for a nasty crash. Charlotte’s superplex is shoved off and double knees from the top get two. It’s too early for the Bank Statement though so Charlotte sends her outside, setting up a CORKSCREW MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! I mean it made almost no contact but it looked awesome. Natural Selection gets two back inside and Charlotte is frustrated. A headscissors sets up the Bank Statement and Charlotte taps in a hurry to give Sasha the title at 14:17.
Rating: B. Good match but they felt out of sync at the end. That missed moonsault didn’t help things and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Sasha winning makes the most sense and, dare I say, sets up a rematch inside the Cell? They’ll have a rematch one way or another and it needs a little something more than just a regular match.
A long celebration ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This show’s rating depends on whether or not you’re factoring in the bonus footage. With the bonus and far more important stuff being thrown in, I could easily see why people would prefer this over the full three hour version. Oddly you could skip the original wrestling and just watch the stuff from Raw to get your fill of Monday’s show in far less time. It’s a perfectly entertaining and quick show, which makes it very different from Raw.
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Superstars – September 30, 2016: Now With More People You Won’t See On This Show
Superstars Date: September 30, 2016
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
I don’t normally do this show but I was in the arena live for the taping so I might as well take a look at the show. This was taped before last week’s Monday Night Raw and now serves as the night’s dark matches. Superstars tends to be completely forgotten and there’s a good chance that’s justified. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence, featuring a bunch of people you won’t be seeing on this show.
Sami Zayn vs. Curtis Axel
Not a bad choice to fire up the crowd. Axel takes him down by the arm to start so Sami does his big spin out to escape. Sami’s reverse leapfrog sets up some armdrags into an armbar and the fans are very pleased. Some right hands and a good looking dropkick put Zayn down but Axel spends a bit too much time yelling. The exploder suplex sets up the Helluva Kick to give Sami the pin at 4:40.
Rating: C-. Not much to this one but Sami is the perfect choice to open a show and fire the fans up. There’s just something so easy to cheer about Sami and it hasn’t failed him yet. For the life of me I don’t know why he’s stuck on the midcard treadmill when Smackdown is dying for talent and Zayn can’t even get on Raw most weeks.
We see a long stretch, as in the better part of five minutes, of Roman Reigns vs. Rusev from Raw.
We see Charlotte, Dana Brooke and Sasha Banks’ segment from Raw. This is much closer to being complete so here it is in full.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke for a chat. Charlotte says last night was another chance for everyone to be disappointed because that’s what she does time after time. She’s not the huggable Bayley or the internet darling Sasha Banks. Cue Sasha to say that’s her title because Charlotte didn’t beat her last night. Sasha is owed a one on one match and she wants it right now. Charlotte tells the YESing fans to be quiet so she can tell Sasha that she’ll get her rematch….next week. Sasha cleans house and the villains leave.
Neville vs. Jinder Mahal
This would be another option that could have picked the crowd up during Raw but nah, we needed three minutes of Stephanie yelling at Foley instead. To no one’s surprise, Mahal comes out to crickets. Neville grabs a headlock to start as we hear about Mahal talking trash about NXT stars coming up through the ranks. So yeah, this actually has a story to it. Mahal’s armbar doesn’t do much to shake his image of being really boring so Neville handsprings across the ring and hits something like a hurricanrana. The tease of a dive scares Mahal to the barricade and we take a break.
Back with Mahal missing a charge and falling outside again, only to have him send Neville ribs first into the apron. A basement dropkick puts Neville down and a big boot to the face gets two. Neville comes back with his series of kicks, including a big one to knock Mahal out of the air. The Red Arrow puts Mahal away at 8:55.
Rating: D. I don’t know how many more ways I can say Mahal is boring but it’s the biggest problem with so many wrestlers today. There’s no real character there and his in ring abilities aren’t enough to make me want to watch anything he does. This was longer than it needed to be with Neville doing what he could but having nothing to work with in Mahal.
Most of Kevin Owens on the Highlight Reel (minus anything with Enzo and Cass) ends the show.
It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Jericho tells us to be quiet about a dozen times because this is the most anticipated Highlight Reel in WWE history. Before Owens comes out here though, Jericho has a bone to pick with Masterson and Kutchner, who have the nerve to claim that they’re better friends. Jericho: “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” That’s so unthinkable that they’re both about to make the List of Jericho.
It’s almost time for Owens to come out but Jericho yells at the cameraman for shooting him from the wrong side, which means HE MADE THE LIST! Rollins is on there too because he got hurt again last night. Owens comes out and praises the Jeritron 5000 but says he’s not about to wear a suit for a place like Cincinnati, Ohio. What kind of town can this be when it created Dean Ambrose? Jericho: “HE STILL OWES ME $17,000!” Owens moves on to Rollins and says the rib injury is karma after all the people Seth injured over the last year and a half. Cue Rollins but security and Foley pull him back.
Overall Rating: D+. I see why I don’t watch this show most of the time. It’s basically just a long recap show with some dark matches filling in the gaps. That being said, there’s a reason this is little more than D level programming to fill in time on the Network and to satisfy international commitments. It was fine enough but nothing worth going out of your way to see whatsoever.
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Smackdown Date: January 28, 2016
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
We’ve got a main event for Fastlane now, which means we’ll have a main event for Wrestlemania in just a few weeks. This past Monday on Raw, it was announced that Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Brock Lesnar will face off for the World Title shot at Wrestlemania against HHH, which doesn’t make a ton of sense but should be a good match. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of the Royal Rumble and Monday’s fallout.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the New Day who shame the Rock after seeing a recap of his surprise appearance on Monday. Rock is clearly just jealous of their gold (it’s bronze actually) because he insulted the unicorn horns. This brings out the Miz of all people, who says he feels their pain. How dare Rock insult one of his fellow movie stars? Miz deserves respect but here are the Usos to interrupt as well.
They get on him for still talking about main eventing Wrestlemania, but maybe that’s where he got the money to buy that dress. Woods: “Miz has the best mouth in the business.” Big E. laughs at the Usos for never winning any gold and Kofi says the Usos’ cousin Dewey isn’t here for the rescue. The Usos aren’t worried because here are Titus O’Neil and Dolph Ziggler to help with the brawl.
New Day/Miz vs. Usos/Titus O’Neil/Dolph Ziggler
Miz and Jey get things going with the Uso sending him into the corner for some dancing. Woods refers to Jey as a varmint as it’s off to Titus vs. Kofi. Kingston dropkicks him down and it’s off to Ziggler. Big E. gets in a slam but Ziggler dives away and makes the tag off to Jimmy as things pick up again. There’s the running Umaga Attack (with Ranallo actually mentioning Umaga) to Big E., who pops up and belly to bellies Jimmy into the corner.
The Unicorn Stampede has Jimmy in more trouble and we get some sweet Francesca II. Jimmy finally knocks Woods down and makes the tag off to Titus for some house cleaning. A powerslam gets two on Miz and everything breaks down. The Usos hit stereo dives on Big E. and Kofi and Ziggler superkicks Miz into the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 7:54.
Rating: C-. What is up with the Titus push lately? I know it’s not likely to go anywhere but he’s getting pins on TV and actually looking like something of note. It might be due to the charity stuff he’s been doing lately but it’s cool to see someone getting a mini push. The match was fine and at least Miz took the fall.
US Title: Kalisto vs. Neville
Kalisto is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. They hit the ropes to start and Kalisto does a walking handstand to show off. Neville is sent to the floor and Kalisto snaps off a hurricanrana into the barricade. They get back inside and we take an early break. Back with Kalisto springboarding into a sitout powerbomb for two as Neville is having to wrestle as the default heel.
Neville lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and goes up top, only to have Kalisto reverse into a top rope hurricanrana for a huge crash. Back up and Neville fires off the kicks to the ribs but the lifting German suplex is countered into a rollup for two. Neville tries it again and gets countered into something like a Salida Del Sol to retain Kalisto’s title at 8:54.
Rating: C+. Botches aside, this was a fun match with Kalisto getting to show off against someone who can wrestle a similar style. I know the ending wasn’t the smoothest in the world but it’s cool to see Kalisto hitting that move from almost any angle. It makes it that much more dangerous and that’s going to give him a lot more mileage.
They shake hands post match.
It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about having a great run in the Royal Rumble, only to have HHH come in and win in the end. That win helped set up the main event of Fastlane with the triple threat for the #1 contendership. Therefore, his guests tonight are Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose.
After presenting Jericho with a potted plant and a stool to help replace some of the often destroyed set, they say they’re not jealous people so they aren’t going to lose their friendship over this match. Dean says he’s going to punch Reigns in the face and kick him in the ribs as soon as the bell rings and that’s just fine with Roman.
Jericho brings up Brock, who Dean has never faced before. Ambrose says Brock is the most destructive force but that doesn’t matter when you’re indestructible. Reigns doesn’t think it’s that simple, but Dean points out that he can just beat Roman to get the shot. Reigns: “Well it would be the first time because you never have before.” Cue the Wyatts to say they slayed the Beast but Reigns says he doesn’t get what they’re talking about. A challenge is issued but Bray says patience. This seems to be the main event.
Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how they should be trending. Instead people are talking about AJ Styles, who they call the phenomenal anomaly. Axel yells about being eliminated for over a year until AJ jumped him from behind.
AJ Styles vs. Curtis Axel
Styles starts fast with the drop down into the dropkick as Lawler goes on a rant about how AJ’s past accomplishments don’t mean a thing around here. Axel knocks him down in the corner and scores with a backbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Styles misses the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT but it looked enough like a Pele to count. A flip dive takes out Slater and Dallas and it’s the Pele into the Styles Clash to pin Axel at 3:20.
Rating: D+. So he can’t hit it in the Royal Rumble and he can’t hit it in the match against Jericho but he can hit it against Axel in a nothing match on Smackdown? That’s their thinking here? At least they haven’t stopped his push yet, which is actually a relief after all the other people this company has screwed up.
Charlotte vs. Natalya
Non-title and Natalya says the Queen of Harts is back. Charlotte gets rolled up for an early two and the basement dropkick sends the champ into the corner. Natalya follows her in and gets kicked in the face for her efforts, followed by an abdominal stretch to slow things down. A dropkick and some chops have Natalya in even more trouble but she sends Charlotte to the floor. Some WOOing distracts Natalya though and Charlotte gets in a chop block, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 3:53.
Rating: C-. They’re firmly in the Evolution formula now with Flair causing all the distractions and setting up the endings. At some point they need to change things up because that formula got old back in the day and it’s already getting boring here. Natalya being back in the ring is a good thing as the division can always use talented veterans.
Charlotte puts the hold on again but Becky Lynch runs in for the save.
R-Truth is getting ready for a run when Goldust comes up. Jokes about stretching and massaging a groin strain ensue, though this time R-Truth seems intrigued by the idea of a team.
Wyatt Family vs. Chris Jericho/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose
Strowman is the odd man out here. Rowan chops Jericho into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Dean for a kick to the ribs. Reigns gets in a quick turn before it’s back to Jericho, who is dragged into the corner for the tag off to Harper. Some shots to the throat have Chris in trouble but he comes back with a dropkick and enziguri. No tag though as he pounds in right hands instead.
The bad idea results in Harper coming back with a suplex for two as we take a break. Back with Rowan putting on the head vice for a bit before a backbreaker gets two on Jericho. Harper comes in for a leg lock of all things, followed by a more traditional chinlock. Bray seems a bit disappointed that we didn’t get a broken limb. A Michinoku Driver gets two for Harper but he’s smart enough to kick Reigns off the apron. Jericho grabs a one knee Codebreaker for a breather, allowing the hot tag off to Ambrose.
The top rope elbow gets two on Rowan and everything breaks down with Dean diving onto Bray. Dean goes up again but dives into a spinwheel kick from Rowan, allowing Bray to come in for the backsplash. The rebound lariat drops Wyatt though and the hot tag brings in Roman to clean house. Everything breaks down again and the good guys take over, setting up the Superman Punch for two on Harper with Strowman pulling Roman to the floor for the DQ at 13:41.
Rating: C. Totally run of the mill six man tag here and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. I like that they didn’t feel the need to give the Wyatts another clean loss and went with the DQ instead. Hopefully Bray can be kept strong leading into his match Brock, though I’m still not sure how strong that’s going to be.
Post match the Wyatts destroy the good guys until Big Show of all people comes out for the save. Show is beaten down as well but the good guys get up and help clean house to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. There were a few good things here and there but above all else this show was lacking. Smackdown shows promise once in a while but then it gets stuck with this lame formula of tag matches and meaningless midcard stuff which is almost never mentioned again. It’s fine for a quick show but nothing necessary to remember by the time the next Raw airs.
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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
This one didn’t take long.
This is on the pre-show this year and I can’t say I’m surprised. The other day I saw someone say that this is just the same battle royal they had on the pre-show for years and he was exactly right. Yeah last year’s was cool with Hogan endorsing it and Cesaro getting what should have been the star of a major push for him, but instead it would up being the catch all match for the people that couldn’t get on the show anywhere else.
I won’t bother listing off everyone in the match (only twenty this year, as it probably should be) but here are the names that matter: Miz, Mizdow, Kane, Big Show, Ryback, Mark Henry. Other than that everyone is a jobber or Hideo Itami making his main roster debut. The interesting thing is there’s no spot for Sheamus, who I would have had winning the thing. However, now that he’s not an option, it makes for a more wide open (or as wide as you can get with six guys as potential winners) field.
The only really interesting story for anyone in the match is between Miz and Mizdow, but the problem with FINALLY turning Mizdow here is if he doesn’t win, what difference does it make? Unfortunately I have no faith in the writers to realize this so I don’t think Miz or Mizdow goes over here.
Kane, Big Show and Mark Henry……just no. Henry would be the best choice of the three and I think I’ve covered why I never want to see Big Show or Kane win a match again as long as they live. None of these guys need to win this though and there’s no point in putting any of them over the younger guys. Let someone look good in eliminating them and leave it at that.
That brings us to the two people I could see winning. First and foremost, I really don’t think Itami gets it. He comes off more like an entrant to put in there so they don’t have to put Neville or Balor in the match and have them lose before their callups in the very near future. Itami will probably get a kicking demonstration, but he isn’t going to make it to the final three.
Therefore, I’m going with Ryback. He’s been on a pretty good roll lately and they seem somewhat serious about making him into a big guy (see what I did there?) again. It doesn’t help that I’m still a fan of the guy and would like to see him get as close back to where he was before the WE HAVE TO KEEP THE TITLE ON PUNK BECAUSE WE BOOK THINGS SEVEN MONTHS IN ADVANCE NOW booking cut his legs off. Something tells me I’m wrong on this, but it’s more what I want to see than anything else.
Keep in mind that my pick instantly changes to Sheamus should he be in it, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. What would however be the worst thing in the world is if they don’t do SOMETHING with Curtis Axel in this. I know he won’t and shouldn’t win, but have him do something to play up all the responses he’s gotten since the Rumble. You have something there, so run with it, even if it’s just a short sprint.
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Monday Night Raw – March 2, 2015: Screw This Show And Screw Wrestlemania
Monday Night Raw Date: March 2, 2015
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We’re one step closer to Wrestlemania this week and the big event coming out of last week is Randy Orton not attacking Seth Rollins as everyone expected him to at the end of the show. That would seem to be a layup for a match at Wrestlemania but you never can tell around this company. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here are Rollins and the Stooges to get things going. Before he can say anything though, we get a clip of him appearing on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart last Thursday. Stewart is on his way here so Rollins suggests that he beg for forgiveness now and turn around. This isn’t like Lawler vs. Kauffman because unlike the Daily Show, every single person in this arena paid to see him tonight.
Cue Roman Reigns, who tells Rollins to keep talking because he wanted to hear what it sounded like to hear the fans tell Seth that he sucks. Rollins says he’s worth more than Michael Jordan because he can out work and out talk anyone, including Wiz Khalifa. He can even out eat Mark Henry. Khalifa is scheduled to perform next week and Henry is rumored to be here tonight so that sounds like an internet newsletter come to life.
Rollins doesn’t think Reigns can beat Brock Lesnar, but he can beat both Lesnar and Reigns. Roman asks if Rollins is man enough to make the main event of Wrestlemania a triple threat match as the fans chant for Punk. Rollins thinks it’s smarter to cash in on the winner of the match, or maybe do it the next night. Or maybe just cash in when no one is expecting it. Or maybe Reigns should just punch him in the mouth right now, which is what he does. The Stooges are laid out and Reigns stands on the Money in the Bank briefcase, but somehow that still doesn’t make me care about him.
Post break, Rollins yells at the Stooges for letting him get hit in the mouth. Randy Orton pops up and says the same thing. He thinks Rollins should demand a match with Reigns tonight to prove he can out talk Jon Stewart and out wrestle Roman Reigns as well. Rollins says he can out wrestle anyone on the roster, which doesn’t sit well with Orton. Dang they were getting close to not having a main event set up. I’m glad these coincidences just happened to take place at complete random.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Non-title with R-Truth on commentary. Ambrose stomps away in the corner to start as Cole brings up the multi-man ladder match for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. Truth is officially announced for the match as Ambrose stomps away at the ribs and puts on a cross leg face rip. A bulldog sets up the standing elbow drop but Barrett crotches him to take over. The champ boots him out to the floor and holds up his title as we take a break.
Back with Ambrose fighting out of a chinlock but Barrett goes outside to yell at Truth for being a thief. Ambrose hits a suicide dive to take Barrett down though and hits the running standing elbow off the apron. This allows Truth to comically sneak over and steal the title belt because this is now a children’s comedy. Winds of Change plants Ambrose as Luke Harper comes up and takes the belt from Truth. The distraction lets Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds for the pin on Barrett at 9:23.
Rating: D. I have nothing left. Just nothing.
We recap Miz stealing Mizdow’s spot in a commercial last week on Smackdown.
Most of the midcard is in the back when Miz asks for silence. He calls Mizdow borderline worthless before giving us the world premiere of the new commercial. Mizdow tries to tell Miz something but Miz cuts him off and mentions a bunch of actors. As expected, it’s for an erectile dysfunction pill and has Mizdow involved with the good looking women. Back live and Mizdow can’t control his laughter. Neither can the rest of the people in the room.
Miz yells at everyone and says his little general has plenty of bullets. This is all Mizdow’s fault of course and Miz slaps him, again setting Mizdow off to a big reaction but once again he backs down. Mizdow almost has to eliminate him from the battle royal, but does it really matter is Mizdow doesn’t win the thing?
Here’s Bray Wyatt to ask if Undertaker is still the heart of fear. He wants Undertaker to come out and see him because Bray has built his own casket. Everything comes at a price though and Bray pulls out a gasoline can. He’s always had a fascination with fire because it has no prejudice and no feelings, just like him. No one can hide from him because everything burns, including Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He pours the gas on the casket and lights it on fire before shouting to find him. Like most Bray stuff, it makes just enough sense to get the idea across without being able to understand it.
Natalya/Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos/Naomi
Genders have to match here. Jey and Kidd get things going but the champs take over with a quick double team. A Samoan drop puts Cesaro down but he bails to the floor, setting up a tag to the women. Naomi pops Natalya in the face and starts a quick pinfall reversal sequence, only to have Naomi kick Natalya in the ribs.
Naomi doesn’t buy a leg injury from Natalya and sunset flips her for two, only to have it quickly go back to Jimmy and Kidd. A Whisper in the Wind drops Kidd but he dives away from a double superkick and tags Natalya. The distraction lets Natalya get a rollup pin at 2:54. Didn’t we see this EXACT same story last month but with the titles switched? Now I’m supposed to want to see it at Wrestlemania?
Kidd and Natalya almost get in a fight but they hug it out.
Here’s John Cena with something to say after Rusev turned down his request for a rematch last week. He says this is one of those rare occasions where his detractors are having a good time because not only did Rusev beat him in their first match but his rematch was turned down. Cena is going to get his rematch and is going to bring the title back home to America. Rusev is a marked man and he’s going to lose that title at Wrestlemania. If he won’t defend it though, maybe he could just enter the Andre battle royal.
Oh screw it Stephanie comes out with that smug look on her face. She asks when do people just announce what match they’re in. Cena: “That’s what everyone does in the battle royal.” Stephanie doesn’t get the term Murderer’s Row (famous baseball lineup, means a great talent pool) and brings up a picture of her sitting on Andre’s knee after the first Wrestlemania.
She says Cena can’t disparage Andre’s legacy (what is she even talking about?) but Cena cuts her off and says this is about Wrestlemania. He says she won’t leave him off Wrestlemania so she goes into full on evil Stephanie mode and says WWE is bigger than any star it’s ever had. The question is what will Cena do without WWE, not the other way around.
Cue Curtis Axel of all people who says he’s already deserving a spot in the main event so he should win the battle royal too. A LOUD Axelmania chant starts up and Stephanie thinks he may be the next John Cena. Stephanie makes a match right now, but stops to say Cena can only get his match with Rusev by changing his mind. Axel: “WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN AXELMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU???” He rips the shirt off and Cena looks stunned. Cena gives him one chance to leave before pain comes to him.
John Cena vs. Curtis Axel
The bell rings after the break and Axel does Hogan poses. Cena stares a hole in the back of Axel’s head, hits some clotheslines, the AA and the STF for the submission at 2:02.
Post match Rusev comes out and again says no. Cole calls this humiliating because he doesn’t know the meaning of basic English words. Cole: “We could be coming up on the first Wrestlemania with no John Cena.” Me: “Oh screw off.”
Arn Anderson and Michael Hayes talk about Sting’s career and how great he really was. This lasts all of ten seconds.
Here’s HHH to talk about coming to this company twenty years ago. Now he’s the COO and a thirteen time World Champion. Eight days ago he offered Sting a chance to be immortal, but now he has the chance to make it as if Sting never existed. But why didn’t Sting come here before? HHH invites Booker T. into the ring because Booker recently said HHH politiced Sting from ever coming to the company. Why does he think that? That makes Booker sound like one of those internet fans that think they know the ins and outs of the business when they don’t know a thing.
Booker says no one has ever been able to control Sting and now HHH gets to deal with him at Wrestlemania. HHH thanks him for the opinion and then fires him. Booker goes to leave but HHH says he’s changed his mind. That was just an example of the control he has because he’s been handed the chance to end the last vestige of WCW and that’s what he’ll do. I can’t believe they’re STILL talking about WCW. That company has been out of business longer than it was in business and WWE is still bragging about defeating them.
Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella
Nikki is defending again in a rematch from Fast Lane. We even get Big Match Intros. Paige knocks her around to start but Nikki bails to the floor to avoid the PTO. A minute in and we hit the break. Back with Nikki cranking on the arms and Cole saying the action before the break was, and I quote (see what I did there?), fast and furious. Paige fights up but walks into a weak spinebuster for two.
We get the third mention of Total Divas in about the third minute of, ahem, action. A double clothesline puts both girls down and of course that one clothesline gets us to even after Paige has been in trouble for a few minutes. Paige hits three more clotheslines and a running dropkick for two. The PTO is loaded up again but Paige has to nail Brie. Nikki misses her forearm and eats a superkick, setting up the PTO. Cue Brie for the DQ at 6:46.
Rating: D. GIVE THEM A CHANCE! YOU MIGHT GET A FIVE MINUTE MATCH NEXT TIME! Yeah this was another obvious ending to set up the obvious return to set up the obvious “dream” tag match at Wrestlemania so the Bellas can show how good they really are and AJ can take a loss and be humiliated for calling out Stephanie on her nonsense. But hey, why bother entertaining when you can get one up on AJ in front of the dozens of people who are going to pay for this disaster of a Wrestlemania?
AJ runs in for the save and attacks the Bellas as we have new Super Best Friends.
Post break, AJ and Paige kind of agree to be friends to fight the Bellas.
It’s time for the Daily Show with Seth Rollins, complete with a copy of the Daily Show’s intro. Rollins takes some shots at Stewart’s Oscar hosting last year (it was seven years ago) and at his movie Rosewater for not doing so well as the Stooges applaud in the background. Cue the real Stewart to rips on the Curb Stomp being a New Jersey greeting instead of something to fear. He remembers the wrestlers that earned their spots like Sammartino and Monsoon.
Rollins never went up against the establishment like Austin or fought through injuries like Undertaker. Seth wants to be the poster boy, but just like posters, they get taken down when people are tired of them. If the Authority really cared about him, why isn’t he in the main event at Wrestlemania? He’s better on the mic and claims to be better in the ring, but it’s Lesnar vs. Reigns.
Stewart says the briefcase doesn’t belong to Rollins because he was at Money in the Bank and saw what really happened. That’s enough for Rollins as he grabs Stewart by the collar, drawing out Orton for the save, but Stewart kicks Rollins low and escapes on his own. This was one of the best celebrity performances ever in WWE and most of that is due to Stewart clearly being a huge fan. You can’t fake that kind of passion. Well you could, but if you’ve ever seen the Faculty, you know Stewart isn’t that good of an actor.
Post break Stewart leaves quickly to avoid retaliation.
Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper
Cole says Bryan isn’t going to Wrestlemania either. Harper starts fast but gets sent face first into the middle buckle. A running dropkick has him in trouble but Luke slams Bryan to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Harper kicking him in the face and hitting a half nelson suplex for two. A rollup gets the same for Bryan before Harper throws him down again. That’s fine with Bryan as he counters into the YES Lock for the win at 6:23.
Rating: D+. The Divas got more time than this match, which may or may not be about Bryan going into the title match at Wrestlemania. Just like the rest of this show, it’s like they have no real idea where the matches are going and we’re less than a month away from the show. Announce the things and let us know what we’re getting.
Barrett comes out to take the belt back, but it’s stolen by Ambrose, Harper, Truth then Harper again with the big man leaving with the belt. Ziggler cuts him off with a superkick though and puts the title on his shoulder. Dolph climbs the ladder with the belt and Bryan does a YES chant on the table.
Alundra Blayze Hall of Fame video. Two notes here. One, this is shocking if you know your history. Two, in the list of great champions over the years, we saw Moolah, Martel, Trish, the Bellas and Lita. Who on earth actually thinks that’s true? I mean, someone say that to me so I can laugh very hard in their face. They actually mention the belt in the trash moment in the video.
Orton yells at Rollins for going after Stewart but promises to have his back if Rollins needs him. Big Show and Kane come up and say they have his back, so Noble says Orton won’t be needed. Randy walks away, saying suit yourself.
Here’s Heyman who says he’s going to shoot from the hip. Yes Brock will be at Wrestlemania. Believe that. He’ll be anywhere he pleases before the title match. He’ll be anywhere he pleases after the title match. He’ll be anywhere he wants as the WWE Champion. Fans like to believe their fantasies, starting with Daniel Bryan having a chance at beating his client.
Reality is that Lesnar would squash him under his boot, so now it’s time for Roman Reigns. Heyman has to switch microphones before he rants about the fans buying into this idea of Reigns. WWE has already bought the confetti and the pyro but it’s a big waste of time.
Last week he said Sammartino, Hogan, Austin, Rock HHH and Cena couldn’t beat Lesnar. Fan: “ANDRE!” Heyman to the fan: “I DIDN’T MENTION HIM BECAUSE HE’S DEAD STUPID!” Of course there’s no Stephanie to defend Andre now because that segment earlier made no sense. Heyman says none of those people disputed a single thing he said last week because it’s all true. At Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to conquer Reigns and maybe he’ll just Ronda Rousey Roman. BELIEVE THAT.
Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Reigns knocks him around with ease to start and sends Rollins hard into the corner. Seth’s comeback is easily stopped with a knee to the ribs but he catches Reigns with a dropkick. We hit the right hands to the face and Reigns is sent hard into the buckle, but here’s Orton for a distraction as we go to our last break.
Back with Rollins holding a chinlock for a bit until Roman makes his comeback with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch, allowing Rollins to score with an enziguri for two. Roman fights up again but Noble’s distraction lets Rollins kick him in the face.
A powerbomb from Reigns puts both guys down. They head outside with Big Show getting in a cheap shot but Reigns dives off the apron to take him down. Kane nails him in the ribs with a chair, giving Rollins a near fall back inside. We get yet another comeback from Reigns as he nails a Superman Punch, only to have Orton grab the foot, allowing Rollins to roll up Reigns for the pin at 15:38.
Rating: D+. The #1 contender for the World Title and the man that is supposed to save us from the horrors of Brock Lesnar just got pinned less than a month before the biggest show of the year. I don’t care what he does after the match. That ending is stupid and there was no reason to not just have the big DQ or something like that. My goodness do they want me to watch Wrestlemania or not?
Reigns snaps post match and destroys everyone not named Orton. He hits a huge dive over the top and spears Rollins out of the air as JBL shouts about him being ready. No man. Screw that noise. I’m not buying Reigns as anything when he’s losing less than a month before the big night, screwy finish or not. You don’t do that no matter what, especially when Lesnar isn’t here to set up the stupid match.
Overall Rating: F+. Where do I even start? First of all, how do you only have six matches on a three hour plus show with two of them not even breaking three minutes? That’s just unacceptable. Second, they really do seem to be making this stuff up as they go. We’re supposed to believe Cena and Bryan aren’t going to be at the pay per view? That’s your big selling point? “Hey people, come see this show without the biggest stars appearing!” Well they might not. I mean, they DARED to challenge Stephanie.
That’s the next major point: the Authority was all over the place tonight and not a single bit of it made sense. All of a sudden Stephanie is the patron saint of French giants and HHH is spouting off at the mouth about having to control Sting, whatever the heck that is supposed to mean. I can’t get over how bad that Stephanie segment was. How is that supposed to make me want to see Wrestlemania? Cena potentially in the battle royal because he can’t convince Rusev to defend the belt, which he’ll eventually do by going after the Russian flag, which won’t bring up a single mention of Big Show doing the same thing months ago?
The main event continues to be a one sided affair because Lesnar isn’t on TV. Heyman can only say YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM in so many different ways before it stops being entertaining. It’s one of those cases where you can only perform so well with what you’re given and that point has long since passed. Brock and Reigns need to do something face to face again, because the last time was the night after the Royal Rumble.
The Divas’ push comes off as a huge joke as the big chance seems to be a tag match at Wrestlemania and a pairing that we’ve seen before. I don’t really know why this is supposed to be a big match, other than AJ is the one not on Total Divas, which is the real title in this division these days. Give them a chance I guess, but if this is the chance, give them a bus ticket out of the company, because it’s not getting better anytime soon.
I have almost no desire to see Wrestlemania this year and I haven’t had that feeling in a very, very long time. There’s almost nothing on the card that I want to see and somehow it seems to get worse every week. It’s like they have no focus for the card this year other than “Reigns wins and we go from there.” To what? Reigns vs. Big Show? That’s a real possibility and I don’t think I can handle it. Then again, I don’t think I can handle three more episodes like this either.
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett – Dirty Deeds
Usos/Naomi b. Natalya/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Rollup to Natalya
John Cena b. Curtis Axel – STF
Paige b. Nikki Bella via DQ when Brie Bella interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper – YES Lock
Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns – Rollup
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NXT Date: January 8, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Alex Riley
One of the many things I like about this show is they set up something for next week almost every time. In this case, we have three things, ranging from Itami vs. Curtis Axel to the Vaudevillains getting their rematch from R-Evolution to the return of Sami Zayn for the first time since he was laid out by Owens. That sounds like a stacked show so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the champ to get things going. Sami gets ready to talk but leaves the ring to go be with the crowd and hold up the title. A YOU DESERVE IT chant stops him again before he gets to talk about what this title means. In anyone else’s hands, it means you’re the best. In his hands though, it means you can do it your way and keep doing it how you want because the proof is right here.
He’s going to hate himself for saying this, but this title isn’t his. It belongs to both him and the fans. Everyone here is part of a band called Sami Zayn and the Zaniacs. The fans start the OLE chant and Sami loves that song. Takeover was the best night of his life, but it didn’t end like he wanted it to. Owens cried on his shirt that night and then hurt Sami really bad. He may have hurt Sami, but the champ is right back here, ready to defend the title.
This brings out Adrian Neville who says they tore each other to pieces last time and Zayn was the better man. Neville saw a new Sami and he’s now the champion so congratulations. Sami appreciates it and is pretty sure Neville is entitled to a rematch. This brings out William Regal to congratulate them on having such a great match at R-Evolution. There will indeed be a rematch and it takes place next week on the first Wednesday show.
The Vaudevillains can’t wait to right the wrong from Takeover and prove their manliness.
Hideo Itami vs. Curtis Axel
Axel is trying to be the last real man in wrestling. At this point point there are almost enough of those to make a stable. Itami scores with the early kicks but Axel takes him into the corner and hits a series of clotheslines to the back of the head. A chinlock doesn’t get Curtis anywhere but a knee to the jaw gets two. Axel throws Hideo down and asks who cares about Itami.
Curtis slaps on an armbar out of nowhere (no arm work so far into the match so let’s ignore the neck work and go after the arm) but Hideo fights out and nails a clothesline of his own. Itami loads up a tornado DDT but instead jumps to the apron to snap Axel’s throat across the top rope. The top rope clothesline is good for two but Axel tries the PerfectPlex. That goes nowhere so Itami snapmares him down and hits something like Trouble in Paradise to a kneeling Axel for the pin at 5:45.
Rating: C-. Not bad here and Hideo is starting to round into form as a singles guy. The clotheslines are a nice alternative to the kicks and it really opens up his offense quite a bit. It’s also nice to see him finally have a finisher, even if it’s the same move he does more often than any other. Axel as the new version of Tyson Kidd would be a fine role for him as he’s talented in the ring but needs to reestablish himself after the last few years.
Tyson Kidd is getting ready in the back so Natalya tries to intercept Byron Saxton. A Total Divas interview is cut off by Kidd asking if she’s taken care of the cats. Natalya goes off to feed them so Kidd can talk about how important it is to become NXT Champion. That means he can be the new face of NXT, right before he replaces Sarah McLachlan as the face of the ASPCA. Kidd loves all cats, except Grumpy Cat. Fact.
Video on Bull Dempsey vs. Baron Corbin, based on who can squash jobbers faster. They face off for the first time next week.
Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss
This is due to Banks breaking Bliss’ nose a few weeks back. Alexa grabs a quick sunset flip for two but has her headscissors countered into a faceplant. Banks takes her time trash talking but stops to blast Alexa with right hands to the face. She lays Bliss across the middle rope for a double knee to the ribs, setting up the Bank Statement for the submission at 2:06.
Quick package on Neville vs. Zayn from R-Evolution.
Tyler Breeze vs. Chad Gable
Gable is an Olympic wrestler who has gotten rave reviews so far. Gable easily takes Breeze down to start and rides him with a front facelock. The fans are WAY into Chad to start as Graves won’t confirm or deny that he runs Breeze’s fan club. Breeze fights up and takes him down for a chinlock while throwing in some trash talk to the Uggo. Gable gets to his feet and throws on an armbar over the top rope ala Alberto Del Rio. He breaks at four and Breeze is TICKED, setting up the Beauty Shot for the pin at 2:37. Gable looked good out there in the limited time he had.
Finn Balor is looking forward to facing Tyson Kidd next week, but Kidd is going to need more than nine lives to survive. Fact. Simple, yet effective. Why is that so lost on the main show writers?
We see a still from Breeze’s post match celebration, showing an ominous face peeking out from the curtain to look at him. It’s not clear whose face it is.
Tag Team Titles: Lucha Dragons vs. Vaudevillains
Vaudevillains are challenging again after the Dragons pinned the illegal man at R-Evolution. Kalisto quickly springboards onto Gotch and pounds away with right hands before it’s already off to Cara. Some kind of modified Gory Stretch has Gotch in trouble as Graves says these two might be equally strong. English comes in and says the titles are coming home with them tonight. He school boys Cara through the ropes and out to the floor for a nice move, but Kalisto sends both Vaudevillains to the floor for a big double dive.
We take a break and come back (after an announcement that Daniel Bryan will be in action on the first Thursday Smackdown) with Kalisto trying the big spinning wristlock, only to have English hold the ropes to send the masked man crashing down. Gotch gets two off a big belly to back before a double chop puts Kalisto down again.
English comes back in but gets rolled up for two, only to slap on a chinlock. Back up and Kalisto finally rolls over for the hot tag to Cara. Everything breaks down and Gotch kicks Cara in the head, only to be low bridged out to the floor. In what looked to be a botched finish, Cara lifts English up for a powerbomb and Kalisto adds a spinning clothesline to the back of the head to retain at 11:45.
Rating: C+. The match was fine but the ending really didn’t look good. In theory it was supposed to be a clothesline to the front but it looked awkward instead of devastating. The Dragons need new opponents now, and thankfully NXT actually has some teams they could quickly build up into contenders. I’m not sure where the Vaudevillains go, but a refocus on the comedic stuff could be in order.
Overall Rating: C+. Not one of their stronger episodes here but they did a great job of setting up next week to look like something special. Sami’s opening promo was excellent with a ton of emotion and it set up the rematch next week. I really like how NXT is able to wait things out and tease the big stuff, such as Owens showdown with Zayn. Not the match mind you but just those two in the same place at the same time. Instead of hot shotting to that, we’re getting what should be a great match out of the way, instead of just jumping straight to it. WWE could learn from that, but the circumstances are a bit different up top.
Results
Hideo Itami b. Curtis Axel – Spinning kick to the head
Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss – Bank Statement
Tyler Breeze b. Chad Gable – Beauty Shot
Lucha Dragons b. Vaudevillains – Powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination to English
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Sheffield started in 2004 and we’ll pick things up with him as OVW Champion on October 25, 2008.
OVW Title: Anthony Bravado vs. Ryback
No DQ. Ryback is defending after taking the title from Bravado last week and is basically the Terminator. Bravado is used to being the strongest guy around but can’t shove Ryback. His shoulder block has no effect so they fight over another lockup with Ryback taking over. A test of strength goes nowhere so both guys head outside to slug it out for a double countout.
Rating: D. This was a really quick feud as Ryback was taken down to FCW soon after this. They would have another match the next week where Bravado would take the title in a last man standing match. There isn’t much to talk about here as this was more angle advancement than anything else.
Off to FCW with this match on February 15, 2009.
Mia Mancini/Dylan Klein vs. Skip Sheffield/AJ Lee
Mancini is better known as Serena Deeb and Klein never went anywhere. The girls get things going and fight on the mat with Mancini taking over. Off to the guys with Sheffield cleaning house. Mancini slaps him in the face to break up the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder and Klein gets in a few shots to take over. We hit the chinlock on Sheffield before the guys fight to the floor. Mancini tags herself in but gets caught in a headscissors followed by a Shining Wizard for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 is good for the pin on Mancini.
Rating: D+. This was just a quick TV match but that’s almost all you can expect from something down in developmental. It wasn’t bad or anything but with just four minutes and a bunch of rookies, there’s only so much you can do. The girls were way ahead of the guys here, though Sheffield’s cowboy character never worked for him.
Sheffield would be one of the first rookies on NXT. Here’s his first match from NXT on March 2, 2010.
William Regal/Skip Sheffield vs. Matt Hardy/Justin Gabriel
The rookies start us off. Power vs. speed never stops working for me and this works just fine. Fujiwara armbar by Gabriel and here’s Hardy. Poetry in Motion to Sheffield as we take a break. Regal is in when we get back against Gabriel. Regal sends both Gabriel and Hardy to the floor as not a lot is going on in this match.
Sheffield is giving Regal advice which is rather amusing. Back to the power guy who struts before hitting a splash on Hardy. The fat of his stomach helps protect him I guess. Hardy gets beaten down for a good while. I’m sure he’ll blog about it later on and make a video under a false name.
Regal keeps the tag to Gabriel and yells at Sheffield to stop doing stupid stuff. Twist of Fate out of nowhere sets up the debut of the 450 which blew the LD to pieces when it hit. The match was boring but the ending more than made up for it I think.
Rating: C. The length hurt it here but the idea was to show that Gabriel could hit one big move and it worked very well. That’s still one of the best moves in the company nearly a year later and it worked very well here. Not a great match and the tag from last week was better, but this was a good debut for both of the rookies here.
And another on April 27, 2010.
Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan gets a running dropkick as Sheffield is reeling early on. A heel hook has Skip in real trouble. And never mind as Sheffield just beats the tar out of him and hits the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder to end it in maybe 90 seconds.
Sheffield would snap his ankle and be out for nearly a year. He would return as the unstoppable monster Ryback, who participated in a bunch of squashes, such as this one at Extreme Rules 2012.
Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback
The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.
His competition would pick up a bit on Raw, August 27, 2012.
Jack Swagger vs. Ryback
Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.
Around this time Ryback would stand up to CM Punk, throwing himself into the main event scene. Here’s one of his bigger matches after that on Raw, October 22, 2012.
Ryback vs. The Miz
Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.
Here’s Ryback’s chance at the title at Hell in a Cell 2012.
Raw World Title: Ryback vs. CM Punk
I honestly don’t know who is going to win here and I love that feeling. The Goldberg chants start before the music hits. Ryback has a red singlet tonight. Not much of a pop for him though. The big match intros inform us that this match will indeed be taking place inside the Cell. You know, in case you’re REALLY FREAKING STUPID. The fans get fired up for the Feed Me More chant at least.
Punk immediately heads to the floor and we’re in the big Cell where there’s almost no room at ringside. Punk gets back in and immediately runs to the floor again. After almost a minute and a half Ryback gets his hands on Punk and chokes him in the air. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Punk is in trouble early. Punk gets a boot up in the corner but a tornado DDT is easily countered.
Punk is sent back to the floor where he tries to get out of the door. Ryback throws him into the Cell wall and then does it again. The Goldberg chants start up and Punk hides under the ring. Heyman distracts Ryback, allowing Punk to spray him with a fire extinguisher and knock Ryback into the cage. The champ finds a chair but Ryback knocks it into Punk’s head. Back in and Ryback hits a Warrior gorilla press drop.
Ryback misses a charge into the corner and Punk hits a springboard clothesline to take him down. A top rope double ax only kind of hits so Punk hits a second to stagger Ryback. A third attempt is caught in midair but Punk hits a leg lariat to take Ryback down again. Punk sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Ryback is slammed into the cage instead of being knocked down. Ryback easily breaks up a neckbreaker on the floor but his spear hits the steps.
Back in and Punk puts on a chinlock. We’re over eight minutes into this and it’s been pretty good stuff so far. Another Ryback charge hits the post and Punk smiles. Heyman: “HE’S STILL ALIVE!” Punk hits the running knee in the corner and a clothesline to set up the Macho Elbow for no cover. Punk brings in a kendo stick and mocks the FEED ME MORE chant.
Ryback Hulks Up and takes the stick out of Punk’s hands. Ryback is all fired up now and Heyman is panicking. The fans are getting into the chant now and there’s the Meathook (clothesline). Ryback loads up Shell Shock….and the referee hits Ryback low and fast counts a Punk rollup for the pin to retain at 11:45.
Rating: B-. This is one of those what the heck was that endings but it was a good match until we got there. I don’t like the screwjob ending and I wanted Ryback to win, but this sets up another match down the line I guess. I don’t recognize the referee but I’m sure we’ll find out who he was later on. The fans went silent after the pin which is a good thing….I think?
His rematch was in a triple threat match at Survivor Series 2012.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk
Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.
Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.
With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.
Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.
Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.
Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.
Ryback was scheduled to face Punk for the title in a TLC match at TLC but Punk was legitimately injured. This was his other option.
Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield
It’s a TLC match but you can win by pin/submission because there’s nothing to hang above the ring. Shield comes through the crowd of course. The brawl starts on the floor of course with Bryan vs. Rollins, Kane vs. Reigns and Ambrose vs. Ryback. Ryback and Ambrose get in the ring and the smart aleck fans just have to chant Goldberg. Shield gets Ryback 3-1 but he shrugs them off. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Rollins dropkicks it into the monster’s ribs.
Bryan takes a ladder to the face as well but here’s Ryback to beat them all up. Reigns takes Kane down with a chair but Kane makes the save. I think Ryback is busted a bit. Bryan kicks Reigns in the corner and the fans are WAY into Danny boy. Reigns is thrown into a ladder which gets two for Kane. Bryan saves Ryback and the fans want tables. Rollins jumps into a Kane uppercut for two before getting put inside a ladder. Kane beats on the ladder with a chair for a bit but Ambrose takes Kane out with a DDT onto the chair.
Ryback rams Rollins and Ambrose into the corner and there’s another Goldberg chant. The fans still want tables. Ryback blocks a beal into the ladder in the corner and pounds Ambrose and Rollins down again. A splash crushes both of them against the ladder, followed by a suplex from Ryback to put both of them on the ladder. Reigns breaks up the double Shell Shock and it’s another three on one beating. Where did HELL NO go?
Shield loads up the triple powerbomb….and it actually works. Seriously, no save from the champions until a few seconds later. Bryan goes off on everyone but gets caught in the numbers game. Kane finally comes back but gets beaten down as well. Back into the ring and it’s time for the chairs portion of the match. Bryan gets beaten down before being double superplexed off a table on the top. Kane barely makes a save but he gets beaten down by the chair as well.
Ambrose and Rollins try the double superplex on Kane as well but he shoves Rollins to the floor and clotheslines Ambrose down. The side slam puts Reigns down but Dean makes the save. Instead of I think a DDT on Kane though, it’s a chokeslam for Dean through the chair for two. Back to the floor and Reigns spears Kane through the barricade to a BIG reaction. Kane gets buried under a bunch of stuff, but in the chaos, Bryan grabs the NO Lock on Ambrose. He eventually gets it on all three guys but the numbers catch up to him.
Bryan fights back AGAIN with a bunch of kicks but eventually he falls prey to the Blackout (running curb stomp) onto the EDGE OF THE CHAIR from Rollins. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Ryback is up though and house is cleaned. Rollins is thrown onto Ambrose and it’s chair time for Reigns. Ambrose comes back AGAIN but gets speared down. There’s a Meat Hook for Dean followed by Shell Shock for two as Rollins saves. Ryback goes to the floor but gets caught by some chair shots. Ryback charges at Reigns to tackle into whatever is in his path in a cool visual.
The Shield and Ryback are all up by the entrance and Ambrose chairs him in the back to take him down again. They shove a ladder onto Ryback and destroy him with some chair shots and put him on a table. There’s a HUGE, as in bigger than the usual HUGE ladders, and Rollins climbs up. Ryback fights up though and Rollins is in trouble. Ryback throws Seth through a big stack of tables, but Ambrose and Reigns are double teaming Bryan in the ring. Reigns superbombs Bryan through the table for the pin at 22:55.
Rating: A. AWESOME brawl here with a great story being told throughout. Ryback gets two do the big spot to look strong and the Shield’s pack mentality worked very well too. Great match here and definitely better than I was expecting. Shield looked like they could more than hang in there, and that was the main thing they had to worry about. Great stuff.
Ryback would finally get this TLC match on Raw, January 7, 2013.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Ryback
TLC match which was supposed to happen last month but had to be changed due to Punk’s knee injury. The fans don’t seem impressed by Ryback at all here. Ryback shoves Punk around to start until we head to the floor where Punk kicks him in the head. Punk slides in a ladder but Ryback hammers on him before anything can be done. Back in and Ryback hits a delayed spinning suplex onto the ladder, sending the champion to the floor.
Punk almost gets crushed by the steps before using them as a launching pad to knee Ryback in the face. Punk chairs Ryback down a few times and we take a break. Back with both guys down in the ring and Ryback getting up first. Ryback loads up a table on the floor but Punk blasts him in the ribs with a chair and sets up a table of his own. Ryback shoves Punk onto the announce table but another chair shot slows him down.
Back in and Punk works over Ryback’s leg with a chair but can’t Pillmanize it. The jump off the ropes might have hurt the champion’s knee again. Ryback pounds away and hits the Meat Hook but Punk escapes the Shell Shock. They head to the floor and Ryback launches himself through a table by mistake. Punk climbs up the ladder but Ryback goes up to stop him, knocking the champ to the mat.
CM shoves the ladder over but Ryback lands on his feet. He picks Punk up and drops him onto the ladder, bending it to the point where it can’t be used anymore. Punk kicks Ryback in the head again to slow him down but can’t use the ladder to climb anymore. A knee in the corner slows Ryback down but when Punk tries the bulldog, Ryback LAUNCHES him to the floor through the table Punk set up.
Ryback finds another ladder and goes up but there go the lights. The lights come back up and the Shield is on the ladder. Ryback punches two of them down but has to get down to stop the third one. The numbers catch up with Ryback and he gets destroyed by chair shots and the Triple Bomb through a table onto the steps. The Shield leaves and Punk slowly climbs up to retain the title at 18:50.
Rating: B-. This was exactly what people expected, right down to the interference. Ryback continues to look like someone that can’t win the big one, which is why that pop he got at the beginning of the match might as well have been a group of mice cheering. We get it: Shield goes after Ryback. They’ve done that for months now and Ryback has lost to them every time. There were some good bumps in this but it was exactly the match you expected to happen.
After not winning the title, Ryback would turn heel after Wrestlemania XXIX and get another title shot at Extreme Rules 2013.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback
Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena’s ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there’s a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.
Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.
The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He’s up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.
Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It’s still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.
After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.
Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn’t that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.
Rating: B. That’s a pretty cheap (yet good looking) ending as Cena couldn’t keep Ryback down and now we’re going to get a rematch at Payback. It was certainly entertaining though, which is mostly because of how much more time it got than any other match. That’s the problem with a lot of the matches tonight: they’ve been WAY too short.
Here’s the rematch at Payback 2013.
Raw World Title: Ryback vs. John Cena
The first fall is a lumberjack match with pretty much any wrestler you would name at ringside. Ryback powers Cena into the corner to start and counters the bulldog into a belly to back slam for two. Cena comes back with a fisherman’s suplex and some elbow drops as Cole talks about the “historic” extreme lumberjack match in 2006. Who even remembered that thing back in like 2007? It was against Sabu at Vengeance 2006 if I remember correctly but dear goodness who thought of that match and thought Cole should bring it up?
The AA is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two for Ryback. Cena is thrown to the outside and pummeled by the lumberjacks (JTG still has a job. Who knew?) before Ryback gets to destroy him a bit more. The lumberjacks get another crack at Cena but he gets back in fast enough to send Ryback to the lumberjacks as well. Ryback gets back in unscathed so Cena can initiate his finishing sequence, only to be sent into the other lumberjacks this time. Back in and Ryback is sent to the floor again but not touched this time either.
We get the required lumberjack brawl but Cena DIVES onto all of them at the same time in a huge crash. Back in and Cena hooks the STF but Ryback powers out and gets the Shell Shock for the first fall at 7:32. We’re at the tables match now with the lumberjacks all gone. Ryback immediately tackles Cena down and has early control of the second fall. Here’s the first table of the night but Cena escapes the powerslam. A spinebuster puts Cena down and the fans chant Goldberg.
Cena escapes a gorilla press into the AA but Ryback reaches down and flips the table over while still on Cena’s shoulders. We head to the floor and Cena is whipped into the steps to give Ryback control again. Ryback sets up the table in the corner before knocking Cena down with the steps in the ring. Cena staggers up next to the table but the steps go through the table instead of the champion.
Cena puts Ryback down with a belly to belly suplex and some steps to the head to put Ryback down. Here’s another table in the ring but Cena is placed onto it instead, only to get back off of it when Ryback drops the steps through the table. Ryback launches the steps at Cena but they go out to the floor, allowing Cena to hit the shoulder blocks and the Shuffle. Ryback comes back with a spinebuster and the Meat Hook before getting another table. The Shell Shock is loaded up but Cena counters into a quick AA to tie it up at 16:10.
The third fall is an ambulance match, meaning the first person to be placed inside an ambulance to the doors shut loses. Ryback takes Cena down 25 seconds after the AA and loads up the announce table. More Goldberg chants abound as Cena is powerbombed through a table. The third fall officially begins with Ryback dragging Cena to the ambulance, only to be shoved into it by the champion.
Cena pulls a crutch from the ambulance but Ryback knocks it out of his hands. A punch misses Cena and goes through the glass but Ryback doesn’t seem to mind. Cena rams him back first into the ambulance doors but can’t follow up. They open the driver’s door so Cena can whip Ryack into it so hard that the door breaks off. An ambulance door to the face staggers Ryback but he throws Cena into the front of the ambulance.
The bumper is ripped off the front of the ambulance and Ryback wraps it around Cena’s back. Cena blocks a powerbomb into a backdrop onto the hood and starts climbing up to the top. An emergency light to Ryback’s shoulder knocks him back to the floor but Ryback is right back up. Cena stares down at him and they brawl on top of the ambulance until Cena hits an AA through the roof to retain at 24:38.
Rating: B-. This was good but by the end it was a spot fest. It was certainly entertaining but I don’t think anyone bought Ryback as a real threat to the belt. The fact that he hasn’t won a major PPV match since at least August might have something to do with it but I’m not quite sure. It’s good stuff but nothing I’ll remember three days from now.
Here’s a one off match between two guys not in the show’s namesake match. From Money in the Bank 2013.
Chris Jericho vs. Ryback
The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.
Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.
Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.
Ryback would help his mentor Paul Heyman in his war with CM Punk. From Hell in a Cell 2013.
CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman
And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.
Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.
Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.
Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.
Here are the former Heyman guys getting a Tag Team Title shot at TLC 2013.
Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.
Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.
Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.
Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.
Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.
So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.
Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.
Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.
Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.
Ryback and Axel would get another title shot on Raw, April 28, 2014.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.
Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.
A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.
Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.
We’ll wrap it up with one more win for the team on Raw, July 21, 2014.
Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/Big E.
Ryback and Big E. get things going with Ryback hammering away against the ropes. Big E. runs him over but walks into a spinebuster and gets double teamed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Ryback and he throws Big E. down with a belly to belly. The Meat Hook is countered by a clothesline from Big E. and he makes the hot tag to Kofi. Kingston speeds things up and gets two off the SOS as everything breaks down. Ryback rolls through a high cross body and pins Kofi at 3:25.
Rating: C-. This was mostly Big E. vs. Ryback foa few minutes before the ending came out of nowhere. Big E.’s collapse continues and it’s really kind of sad to see. Kingston only got to jump a few times and it wasn’t much to see. At least they’re building up another team to fight the Usos.
Ryback is a guy that has talent but the run against Punk was doomed from the start as everyone knew that Rock was the one taking the title from him at Royal Rumble and everything else was just filler. He has the look and potential with a Goldberg style push, but once he had that first loss and was treated as just another guy, the magic was gone. That being said, he’s only 32 so it’s not like he’s out of chances to make it work.
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Main Event
Date: March 11, 2014
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
This is a request that I’ve finally gotten to after getting done with those weekly TNA PPVs. I don’t remember why someone requested this but Ambrose is defending the US Title against Mark Henry and AJ Lee is defending against Natalya, so odds are it’s one of those. This is a show I haven’t looked at all that much but you hear good things about it a lot of the time. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
Before the match we get an inset interview from Axel saying he’s in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, joining Ryback as two of the handful of entrants so far. Ryback throws Diego around to start but Diego comes back with a dropkick and headlock. Diego gets shoved off but stops to shout OLE both in the ring and on the apron. Off to Fernando for a dropkick/legsweep combo for a one count. Ryback misses a jumping seated senton, allowing Fernando to hit a running elbow to the jaw.
Axel comes in for the first time to really crank up the awesome. Fernando grabs a quick hurricanrana but walks into a clothesline for two. The fans are rather silent here for the most part, but to Los Matadores’ credit, the crowd REALLY gets behind Fernando during his heat segment. Off to a chinlock so Ryback can really obviously call spots. Back to Axel for some right hands in the corner as the announcers talk about anything else they can think of.
Axel gets two off a middle rope elbow and we hit another chinlock. Ryback comes back in to miss a splash, drawing Torito up to the apron to play cheerleader. The hot tag brings in Diego to run over both Ryback and Axel. Everything breaks down and Diego comes out of the corner with a headscissors to put Axel down again. Fernando hits a big flip dive to take out Ryback and Torito gets in a shot of his own. The distraction lets Diego get a rollup on Axel for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: C-. Totally forgettable match here but it wasn’t bad at all. Los Matadores aren’t the worst team in the world, but they’re just so bland with a style that has been done about a million times better before. Axel and Ryback are a decent power/technical team, but all four of these guys are so low on the totem pole that it’s hard to care about them.
Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Natalya
Nattie made champion AJ tap in a non-title match on Snackdown to set this up. Before the match AJ says she’s bored due to the lack of competition here, but worry not because she’ll beat Natalya again tonight. After some big match intros, Natalya takes it to the mat to start with a headlock. A rollup sends AJ crawling for the ropes and it’s right back to the headlock.
Natalya does the Owen Hart counter to escape a wristlock before cranking on Lee’s leg. AJ gets into the ropes again as they’re in very slow but deliberate mode to start here. Back up and Natalya cranks on an abdominal stretch with the leg lifted as well. AJ slips out but gets dropkicked to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock.
That doesn’t last long as Nattie fights up and tries a slam, only to be countered into the guillotine choke. Natalya can’t slam her down to escape and gets clotheslined down for two. It’s time for the skipping around the ring followed by another wicked clothesline. A running dropkick puts the champion down but she kicks Natalya over and over in the corner to take over again. Back to the guillotine which transitions into a sleeper but Nattie throws AJ down.
The blonde makes her comeback with clotheslines and a hard slam for two of her own. AJ grabs the Black Widow out of nowhere but gets slammed down into Sharpshooter position. That gets countered as well into a cradle for two but the second attempt gets the hold on. Nattie doesn’t sit down on it that well though, allowing Lee to crawl over to the ropes. Tamina gets on the apron and the distraction lets AJ nail the Shining Wizard, setting up the Black Widow for the submission. The referee calmly telling her to “tap whenever you’re ready” hurt the scene a bit.
Rating: B-. The match got a bit repetitive at the end but it’s a good sign that two girls can have a seventeen minute match and make it work this well. The idea of AJ being a better technical wrestler but getting caught by the power worked really well, as did the ways AJ could contort and bend out there.
Natalya cries because of course she does.
We look at Santino and Emma’s first date at WWE catering. Slapstick ensues.
Raw ReBound looks at Daniel Bryan’s Occupy Raw moment.
US Title: Mark Henry vs. Dean Ambrose
Dean is defending and the idea is that he never puts the belt on the line. To be fair, he hardly ever did as champion. This is also a rematch from a recent title shot on Raw. Feeling out process to start with Henry shoving him to the floor and then wrapping Dean’s arm around the ropes. Dean is thrown to the floor again but we have a staredown with the other Shield members. The distraction allows Ambrose to get in a quick dropkick to knock Henry outside.
Back from a break with Dean cranking on a half crab before nailing a middle rope chop block. Another shot to the knee puts Mark down and it’s into the half crab again. Dean opts to just kick Henry a lot and drive in some forearms to the chest. The knee is slammed down onto the mat but Mark pops up and slams Ambrose down off the middle rope to take over.
Some fat man clotheslines are good for two but Henry makes the mistake of going after Rollins. It doesn’t go badly at first, but Henry stops a Vader Bomb to stare at Reigns, allowing Dean to pull him down by the leg. A kneeling Dirty Deeds is good for the pin to retain Ambrose’s title.
Rating: C-. This was fine from a technical standpoint but it wasn’t the best match in the world. Henry is fine as a dragon for Ambrose to slay as I don’t think many people bought him as an actual threat to the belt. It’s always nice to see the title actually being defended though, instead of just being used as a prop.
Overall Rating: C+. For an hour long C show on the Network, this was actually really entertaining stuff. It’s a VERY wrestling heavy show which is a nice change of pace when you usually deal with the angle heavy big shows. It’s nothing you need to see but if you want to see a match get way more time than it would otherwise, this is a good show to check out.
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Smackdown – May 2, 2014: An Honest To Goodness US Title Match!
Smackdown
Date: May 2, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re two days away from Extreme Rules and everything is set up. WWE has been doing a good job of getting things ready for the show and making me care about the matches, which is something they should have been doing for years when the shows weren’t ten bucks a month but that’s a different story. Anyway, the main event tonight is Ambrose defending in a 3-1 handicap match against Del Rio, Ryback and Axel so let’s get to it.
The opening video talks shows HHH taking credit for Shield’s rise to the top but maybe he gave them a bit too much power. This transitions into a clip of their brawl that ended the show with Shield standing tall. The match on Sunday should rock.
The handicap match is now a fourway.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family
This has potential. Sheamus is here after losing to Bray on Main Event thanks to the Family. The Usos made the save so here’s a six man to continue the story. Jey starts with Harper and gets two off a quick shoulder before it’s off to Sheamus for power vs. power. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over until it’s off to Rowan who rams Sheamus into the corner. Back to Luke for another slugout with Sheamus taking over via the rolling fireman’s carry. A knee drop gets two on Harper but Harper comes back with a hard shot to the jaw.
Rowan comes in but misses a charge, allowing Sheamus to nail a knee lift. A cross body of all things puts Rowan and Sheamus on the floor and a staredown takes us to a break. Back with Bray getting the tag to work over Sheamus in the corner. Wyatt runs Sheamus over and crawls along the mat in the eerie way that only he can. Back to Erick for a knee drop followed by a good looking superkick from Luke for two.
Harper knocks an Uso off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse to put both big guys down. A hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up and Harper takes a Samoan drop. Jimmy nails an enziguri to Harper and some shots to the face put Rowan and Wyatt on the floor. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and Harper nails a Michinoku Driver for two. Everything breaks down and Sheamus lays out Rowan with the Brogue Kick. In all the confusion, Bray makes a blind tag and plants Jimmy with Sister Abigail for the pin at 7:44 shown of 11:14.
Rating: C. Nothing wrong with this as the Family gets a win and the Usos are pinned in a six man rather than the usual tag match. I’d assume this sets up Harper/Rowan vs. Usos, potentially at Extreme Rules, which would be an acceptable title match given how weak the division is for the most part anymore. Nice opener here.
Post match the Usos dive on the Family but Bray lays them out. Sheamus tries to fight all three monsters but the numbers catch up with him. The Irishman is thrown into the steps and taken down by Luke’s discus lariat.
Adam Rose is coming on Monday. “Next stop, Monday Night Raw! Come along! I HAVE BUNNIES!”
It’s time for the contract signing for Torito vs. Hornswoggle with Vickie running things. 3MB and Los Matadores are here as well and Slater says Horny has some demands. First off, he wants 300 mini green M&Ms and 3MB’s greatest hits playing for his training sessions plus 10 copies of Rudy on Blu-Ray. Torito interrupts him and yells in Spanish with Diego translating: “If you mess with the bull, you get the horns.” Vickie says she wants to keep this night and short and cackles at her joke. Horny signs but Torito doesn’t have hands.
Instead they put ink on his hoof and slam it down onto the contract. Horny says he’ll prove he’s the bigger man and moves his chair up a bit. Torito cranks his even higher so Hornswoggle gets a booster seat. They both get on the table and shove each other before a pose off begins. The brawl is finally on and Horny gets gored down onto Mahal. Los Matadores clear the ring and Torito uses the table as a launch pad to dive onto the Band. Yeah this went long, but at least they’re playing it as totally goofy which helps a ton.
Jack Swagger vs. Rob Van Dam
The triple threat on Sunday is now an elimination match. Before the match Cesaro comes out with his new music that sounds like the start of Attitude Era Raw. Swagger uses the distraction to go after Van Dam as Heyman jumps in on commentary. An early Vader Bomb gets two for Jack and a belly to belly gets the same. Van Dam is sent to the floor and gets kicked in the face by Swagger but Cesaro grabs Jack’s foot, allowing Rob to hit a quick kick and the Five Star for the pin at 1:52.
Post match Cesaro Neutralizes Van Dam.
Bolieve!
Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth
Lana has her hair down for a change as she rants about America invoking sanctions against Mother Russia. Rusev takes Truth into the corner and fires off a series of kicks to the ribs before getting caught with a side kick to the face. Rusev falls to the floor but is able to punch Woods out. Truth dives over the top but gets caught in the air and thrown back inside. Woods comes in for the DQ at 1:04. This was the second time the match took place for what was likely a reshoot.
Truth and Woods clear out Rusev a few times post match.
Here’s Daniel Bryan in the neck brace with something to say. Thankfully he’s brought the titles with him this week. Daniel says he’s the same as all the fans right here in Kansas City. They come together and overcome obstacles every day. They also take care of their families and that’s everyone’s number one priority. This Sunday, with a lot of faith, determination and heart, he’s going to walk into the Extreme Rules as champion and he’s going to walk out as Champion.
Kane put him in this neck brace and put him in pain but none of that matters because Kane put his hands on Daniel’s wife. This is more than personal now because it’s a war. On Sunday Bryan will send Kane home by any means necessary and if that means Bryan goes out with him then so be it.
Kane comes on screen in the mask and says Daniel is making that sounds like a bad thing. When he and Bryan arrive in the devil’s home together, he’ll give Bryan a tour. We get a preview of it in the form of a Kane highlight video, showing him injuring Bryan over the last few weeks. Kane promises to show Daniel the depths of his depravity and gives an evil laugh.
Bolieve!
Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
Damien is still dressed like Magneto. Cole asks JBL to tell us about Magneto and we get a somewhat in depth character biography. Sandow even has the helmet (hood) on as Ziggler takes him down with an armdrag. A Stinger Splash in the corner sets up a neckbreaker on Sandow followed by an elbow drop for two. Damien comes back with a flipping neckbreaker for two and an armbar that Cole calls the Magnet. The Wind-Up elbow connects but Ziggler hammers away. We stop for Magneto to use powers but since there’s no metal on Ziggler, he nails a dropkick and Zig Zag for the pin at 3:23.
Rating: D+. Sandow was destined to become a comedy character so I can live with this for the most part. Thankfully Dolph didn’t sell the magnetic powers stuff, putting him one step ahead of anyone who ever solid Little Jimmy. It’s almost hard to believe that Sandow was Mr. Money in the Bank less than a year ago.
Video on Paige vs. Tamina.
Big E. vs. Titus O’Neal
Non-title. Big E. muscles him to the mat before leapfrogging over Titus. He runs O’Neal over with ease and kicks him to the floor with one foot. Titus LAUNCHES Big E. over the announce table and then throws him on top of it for good measure. Back in and Titus hammers away in the corner before putting Big E. over his shoulder for a kneeling backbreaker. O’Neal chokes away and that’s a DQ at 2:16. Great way to make me believe in Big E. going into Sunday.
Post match Big E. destroys Titus and whips him into the announce table a few times. He stands over Titus in the ring which I think is supposed to make us think he’s ready for Sunday.
Video on Wyatt vs. Cena, including clips of the Wrestlemania match and the segment on Monday.
A record is playing the children singing on Monday and Bray calls it beautiful music. Those children pulls Cena’s soul out of his body and handed it over to Bray. He believes that the children are the future and they trust him more than Cena. When Bray climbs out of the cage on Sunday, he’s taking the children with him. That’s going to leave him an old bitter man all alone. Follow the buzzards.
US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Ryback vs. Curtis Axel
One fall to a finish with Dean defending and Shield banned from ringside. The challengers all go after Dean to start but he jumps on Axel with no reservations. A 3-1 beatdown puts Dean on the mat with ease though and Curtis asks where Dean’s buddies are. Dean’s comeback is easily stopped and he’s thrown to the floor, allowing Axel to grab a rollup on Alberto for two. Ryback and Axel get in an argument and Dean comes back in to hammer on Axel. Ambrose is thrown back to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Ryback and Axel hammering on Alberto in the corner. Del Rio’s Backstabber gets two on Ryback but Axel makes a quick save. The fans are behind Ambrose as he saves a cover by Axel on Del Rio. Ryback and Dean go to the floor so Axel can dropkick Alberto down for two. A bad looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Curtis but Dean is back in to break it up and go after Ryback. Ambrose hammers on Del Rio and BLASTS Ryback in the face before low bridging him out to the floor.
The running dropkick puts Alberto down but Axel gets in a cheap shot to take the champion down. A Perfectplex is countered and Dean comes back with a hard clothesline for two of his own. Ambrose is sent to the floor and the Perfectplex gets two on Del Rio. Del Rio ties Axel up in the ropes for a top rope double stomp for a VERY close two and Ryback takes Curtis down with the Meat Hook by mistake. The armbreaker goes onto Ryback but he lifts Alberto into the air for the Shell Shock. Axel saves that pin but Dean slides in for a cradle on Curtis for the retaining pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.
Rating: B. Take four guys and let them go for a lot of fast pins for a good while. This is one of the formulas that is hard to screw up and it worked well here too. Making it a fourway was a good call as it’s really hard to buy that Ambrose could win in a handicap match here. I can’t imagine he keeps the belt much longer though as he’s already got the WWE record with the thing.
It’s a triple team post match but Reigns and Rollins come in for the save and stand tall to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. There were some issues in there but this was a good Smackdown for the most part. We got focus on everything with Evolution vs. Shield getting the least focus, which is the right idea after it was the top story on Monday. Bryan vs. Kane is looking better and better every week and some of the false finishes could be very good. Solid show this week and Extreme Rules is looking solid.
Results
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Sister Abigail to Jimmy Uso
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Alexander Rusev b. R-Truth via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Zig Zag
Big E. b. Titus O’Neal via DQ when Titus wouldn’t stop choking
Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel and Ryback – Cradle to Axel
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Wrestlemania XXX Preview: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
We might as well start with the preshow.This is a good example of how the tag division is extensive but not very talented. Los Matadores are just kind of there, Ryback/Curtis Axel are the heel jobbers, the Real Americans are basically about getting Cesaro over, and the Usos are awesome. Yeah there are several teams out there, but none of them are really doing much for me. The heels are there after a favor to Kane and Los Matadores are there because why have three teams when you can have four teams?
I’m going with the Usos, but this basically cleans out the division. A team will have to Rise to beat them, but who could do that…..
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