Hell In A Cell 2009
Date: October 4, 2009
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Attendance: 16,186
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole

So here we are again as Vince tries to turn one match into a whole PPV, this time having three Cell matches. Not overkill at all there, not a bit of it. This has all of the big matches in the Cell other than the ECW Title because that’s not a real world title right? Other than that there’s not much on the card as it’s pretty run of the mill. Again I’m trying to bridge the gap between what’s going on at the moment and the past so getting all of the 2009 shows done helps a lot with that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about chicken pot pie and the history of q-tips. What else would it be about? The announcers run down the card and we’re ready to go.

We recap Punk vs. Taker which more or less was just their match at Breaking Point and then Taker beating up Teddy Long. I think we all knew Punk was losing here but we didn’t know how.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Undertaker

Taker gets a freaking POP. After the big match intros, Taker is beating the tar out of him. That can’t be a good sign. Ross explains that the support beams are supporting the structure. Thanks for that Jimmy Boy. The fans are split with an INSANE Undertaker/CM Punk dueling chant.

Punk goes on offense for about 40 seconds and then that ends. Taker is selling the knee so I can’t complain about him not doing that. A TMNT game is the sponsor for this and it’s weird seeing that logo on every replay they do. Punk throws a suicide dive and slams into the cage where he might have legit hurt his hand. Don’t think he did but it’s close either way.

Taker gets a SWEET big boot and legdrop as he unleashes his internal Hulk Hogan which is kind of creepy. To be fair here: he sells the knee the whole time. That’s what people are talking about with psychology and storytelling. Punk worked on the knee early and now that we’re well into the match, that work is being brought up again.

It ties the match together and gives meaning to the stuff done earlier in the match. After some chair shots, Punk sends Taker into the corner and goes for his running knee/bulldog combo but gets caught in the Last Ride where Taker kind of just throws him which looked great but it only got two.

Old School, the most counterable move in the world, is countered (thank goodness) and Punk is back on offense. A chokeslam with more knee selling ends that though. And the Tombstone starts the title reign that he’s on as of this writing. Dang it sounds weird to say that.

Rating: D. For a regular match this is a solid B, but as a Cell match this is a total joke. The cage was used in ONE spot and other than that it was a one on one match. That’s just dumb and further proof of how dumb of an idea that this is. There was a rumor/story that Punk was punished for not dressing right on the road as champion. Screw that man. With all the shenanigans Shawn used to get away with he never got treated like this.

That’s just dumb. I get giving Taker the belt, but dang it’s stupid if that’s the reason for making Punk look weak here. This wasn’t quite a squash but Punk looked weak as all goodness, which to be fair I think was because he was against Taker in the Cell so there we are.

Ad for Bragging Rights.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

WOW this feud seems like it was years ago when it was like 4 months. Morrison comes out first which is really weird when you think about it. Ziggler’s music is awesome if nothing else. That shinny thing that Dolph does to get out of his vest is nice. This is the day after Morrison turned thirty in case you were interested for some odd stalker based reason. What in the heck is up with Dolph’s hair? And why hasn’t Word heard of the word Dolph?

Didn’t it ever see Rocky IV? It amazes me how Morrison showed so much promise and Miz is flat out better than he is at the moment. They’re using a more mat based thing here which is odd but it’s not terrible I suppose. Just as I say that Morrison goes to the air and misses Starship Pain.

Ziggler is good at being the obnoxious heel but he needs a different name if he’s ever going to be taken seriously. But hey, it’s “realistic” right? Love that corner splash he does too. He’s a lot better technically than I would have guessed him to be. Morrison starts his comeback and the crowd is really hot tonight which makes this a better show as it does in all cases.

That standing Shooting Star Press is either overrated or awesome and either way it’s as all goodness. Not sure which though. They’re hitting some sweet near falls here. Ziggler uses a jawbreaker of some kind but it came off looking really weird. Morrison sells the neck work that Ziggler did. That’s a great sign as so few people do it.

I’m liking this match a good deal indeed. The near falls are getting better and better. Starship Pain is countered again which is good as Ziggler was laying there forever and it would have sucked if it hit. Crowd chants THIS IS AWESOME and they’re right. Morrison counters the ZigZag and hits a much faster Starship Pain to get the pin. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. Probably too high but this was a very fun match. The near falls were great and at times they had me believing Morrison wasn’t a lock to win which is the best thing a match can do: get you to believe something you know it’s true and that’s what they did here. This was very fun though as it was given the time to flesh itself out as it had over 15 minutes to work with. The IC Title hunt was just awesome at this time and this was no exception.

Josh is with Batista and Rey who were about to start the worst feud of the year which I had the luck of being at the first and last matches of. Lucky me. They have Jerishow tonight. Oh joy.

And the TMNT are here, dancing in the balcony. They’re 25 years old now. That’s just freaking scary. They mention the new movie coming out in 2011, which is awesome. We get a clip of their new game which almost made me buy a Wii.

Raw Women’s Title: Alicia Fox vs. Mickie James

For the life of me I have never gotten why Fox was given a push. It made ZERO sense so they did it anyway of course. This is exactly what you would expect it to be as it’s a completely standard Divas match that could be on any television show at all. Fox looks decent at best but she’s just not that impressive.

She’s fabulous apparently though which I just don’t get I guess. Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top for two as this is very boring indeed. She follows that up with a HORRIBLE botch of the Jumping DDT to keep the title.

Rating: D. Like I said this could have been on any Raw and it would have been just as dreadful. At least they kept it short. That Smart Sexy and Powerful thing is a joke if there’s ever been one. This was really weak though as most Diva matches are to be fair.

Don’t try this at home.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

This was considered a lock of new champions for some odd reason. Naturally they referenced Eddie at least once in the buildup to this match. Get over it. He’s dead. Were we ever told why Rey and Batista were best friends or whatever? I don’t think we were. Yes they were world tag team champions. So were Eddie and Tajiri.

Why do we need Show and Batista here? Why are either of them associated with Smackdown? Batista was sent there in order to give it star power and since then the quality of the show has gone down quickly. But hey, we have a muscle guy on the show now right?

For zero apparent reason the faces are working over the right arm of Jericho. That’s just odd as all goodness . Oh look Rey vs. Show. This hasn’t been done in at least 5 weeks so it’s a fresh angle. Rey vs. monster is eternally good right? So says Vince at least. He chops the heck out of Rey and knocks him to the floor. That’s sweet if nothing else. Show pulls him from the floor with one hand by his mask. That’s just completely amazing.

We go to a REALLY wide shot of the arena for no apparent reason. Batista gets the hot tag and beats up both guys. This is your standard main event tag to this point which means it’s ok but nothing epic to say the least. The spinebuster gets two on Jericho. Codebreaker does the same but switch the recipient to Joan Crawford then substitute in Batista. Ok so I’m bad at random jokes.

Batista is getting beaten down now so they’re going with Rey for the big save. When Jericho is huge compared to Rey, that’s a really bad sign. Oy it’s Rey vs. Show again. Rey gets a decent springboard DDT and then is launched across the ring on a kickout.

They say that would have been a huge upset, even though Rey is a former world champion. That makes sense right? Show pulls Jericho out of the way of a 619 and Batista spears both of them down at once. Rey hits it on Show and then goes for a springboard something and jumps into the fist. That looked PAINFUL.

Rating: C+. This started off generic and got slightly less generic as it went on. This right here is everything wrong with tag wrestling today: take two teams of guys with nothing in common and throw them together and they’re one of the top tag teams in the world. That makes so little sense I don’t even know where to begin. The match was your standard main event tag match and it worked like they usually do: not bad but nothing epic.

We recap Cena vs. Orton which should only take a few hours. Mainly it’s just the rematch from Breaking Point. The thing is about this match, it actually makes sense to put them in the Cell for a change as it’s a very longstanding feud so there’s nothing wrong with this. We get clips from Raw where Cena FUed Orton on top of it and it bent. That was cool if nothing else.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

Ad for Allied Powers which I really need to finish as I’ve been stuck in the middle of it for like 4 months now.

R-Truth of all people gets interview time. He’s had issues with Drew McIntyre lately. They recap that and I truly couldn’t care less. This might be the picture in the dictionary under pointless filler.

Drew McIntyre vs. R-Truth

McIntyre is just flat out boring, no matter how you look at him. But hey, Vince apparently likes him so get ready to be stuck with him. Wow. I think the crowd here is certifiably dead. The scissors kick misses and so does Drew’s finisher. That DDT of his ends it. Seriously those were the highlights of a 5 minute match. Nothing here at all.

Rating: F+. Seriously, this would have sucked on television or even on a house show. Ross says he could be greater than Piper. I give up.

Legacy congratulates Orton on his title win. Orton tries to do the whole Cell changes you thing. It’s stupid after that match to say the least. The seeds are planted for the Legacy breakup which I don’t think has happened yet.

Ad for Bragging Rights.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger

Who would have dreamed that at this point, the by far biggest deal of these three would be Miz? And that Swagger hasn’t actually won anything yet. This is the night before Big Ben hosted Raw. Can we PLEASE get some new material for the triple threat matches?

This is your standard stuff for the triple threat match as the heels work together and then fight over who gets a pin so Kofi can get back up. Miz is running this match actually. Yes I’m a Miz mark. Get over it. Fans like Swagger apparently. This is another match that could have been on television but it’s still ahead of McIntyre and Truth.

I’d prefer a one on one match but that’s just me. Kofi kicks the heck out of Swagger and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Kofi but Swagger kind of makes the save. The powerbomb hits on Miz but ANOTHER kick to Swagger lets Kofi pin Miz instead. Picked up A LOT at the end.

Rating: C. This would have been far lower but the last two minutes were way better than the first five so it gets pulled up to ok. Still though, this could have been on any Raw and it would have done just fine. Miz would take the title the next night clean. Why couldn’t they do that here instead?

We recap Legacy vs. DX. New vs. Old. There’s your recap.

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Seriously, THIS goes on last? The fight starts on the floor and it’s DX beating on Rhodes. Oh the match hasn’t started yet. Oh joy indeed. Keep in mind: DX is CONTROVERSIAL. Keep that in mind. HHH is in the crowd. We haven’t been in the Cell yet. Legacy and HHH are up by the freaking entrance and Shawn is down at ringside. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THE CAGE???

HEY Ted went into the cage. And now he’s back out and I didn’t even get to finish typing that sentence. Cody is mostly in it now. HHH is down on the ramp by the way. Shawn’s foot is in. Ok, so now everyone but HHH is in the cage now. So in other words, the match hasn’t actually started yet still because it’s supposed to be the two teams IN a HIAC match. This is a handicap in a Cell even though the bell rings. My head hurts.

Aww Shawn looks like a sad puppy. HHH is laying on the ramp with his arms at his sides, likely saying he can be a better messiah than anyone else can. So in case the first 40 times didn’t make it clear, IT’S TWO ON ONE! Naturally Legacy isn’t capable of the idea of you hold I’ll hit. Oh the Cell makes it 3-1 apparently. Keep that in mind: Shawn is against INSANE odds.

Shawn finds a chair and pelts it at Cody. That looked painful. HHH is back up again. Shawn, on a bad knee, does the RVD Spider Man thing. Sure why not. HHH still can’t get in. Shawn kicks DiBiase and I hate this match quite a bit. This would be THE GREATEST WIN OF SHAWN’S CAREER. Cole do you even think before you talk? Shawn takes the crucified position for awhile now. HHH tries using a chair to get in. WHY NOT JUST USE BOLT CUTTERS!

He’s stood there like ten minutes just trying to get in while Ted yells at him. The idiocy here astounds me. Hey, let’s just stand here talking while the most resilient wrestler ever is down. That won’t be a bad idea at all will it? HHH finally grows a brain and leaves. Legacy, FREAKING DO SOMETHING. Seriously, they hit him like twice and then stand around more.

This is another match like Mania 25’s main event where they tried to do something cool and it failed miserably. The do kind of a Van Terminator. How interesting. They use the double submission that they won with at Breaking Point which of course they let go of after about 4 seconds. Oh and look: HHH is back WITH BOLT CUTTERS!

He gets in and you know the rest. Only took 20 minutes to actually start the match. Apparently he had to go to an equipment truck to get them because you know, there weren’t any around in case they needed to get into the Cell or anything like that right? The Cell isn’t locked anyway so the match isn’t as advertised anyway. OK!

Now it’s locked with all four in, so the advertised main event begins with five and a half minutes to go in the show. Halloween Havoc 98 anyone? In a stupid as cheese spot, they wrap the chair around Ted’s NECK and Shawn drops a top rope elbow on it. Yep he should be dead. Sledgehammer time. Ted is outside now as I guess they threw him out. He’s back up 8 seconds after something that in storyline terms should have broken his neck. They easily pin Cody. Big old celebration ends the show.

Rating: C-. Ok, here the cage actually came into play so BIG points for that. Even still though, a Cell match should be at least a B-/B simply due to it being in the Cell and it being so RARE. More on that later. This was an actual 2-2 match in the Cell for about 2 minutes. They tries here so I can give them that, but still this was just not that good and really underwhelming for a Cell match.

Overall Rating: D-. Now I know a lot of you will say that it wasn’t that bad. That’s the point. For a normal PPV, this indeed would have been decent. However, THREE Cell matches in one night? There were times where we didn’t see it for a freaking year and we get three in one night? What sense does that even begin to make? With three Cell matches, it’s just too much overall. Two of them were just flat out not needing the cage.

The first match was really bad about this. Also, ZERO BLOOD. It’s HELL in a Cell. Not slight discomfort in a Cell. HELL in a Cell. These matches weren’t brutal or anything like that. They were regular matches other than arguably the main event in a cage. This completely missed for me on just about all levels. Really bad show but some people might like it I guess. Take a pass in my mind. Oh yeah: Morrison and Ziggler was good so this doesn’t fail.

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D-Generation X: In Your House #19
Date: December 7, 1997
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,358
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

 

Since the show is named after DX, it only makes sense that one of their members is in the main event. In this case it’s WWF Champion Shawn Michaels defending the title against Ken Shamrock who was named #1 contender for no particular reason. Seriously there’s nothing more to it than that. One night it was just announced that he would challenge for the title and that was it. Let’s get to it.

 

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Christopher vs. Taka Michinoku

 

This is a tournament final to determine the new champion. The title had actually been around for years but was only defended in Mexico and Japan while never being mentioned in American. Christopher plays to the crowd before we get going but scores with a quick slam to take over. An armdrag puts Taka down again as the Jerry’s Kid chant starts up again. Taka flips out of a German suplex and takes Brian down with a pair of kicks to the face and a clothesline to send him out to the floor. A HUGE springboard dive off the top takes Christopher out again and fires up the crowd a bit.

 

Brian crotches Taka on the top rope as they come back in and a dropkick sends Michinoku back to the floor. Taka avoids a dive off the apron to send Brian into the barricade but misses a cross body back inside to give Christopher control again. Now it’s Brian’s turn to miss a charge, allowing Taka to hit a tornado DDT for two. A hurricanrana sends Brian to the floor again and a top rope moonsault takes him out. Lawler goes to help his son back inside but Taka dropkicks Christopher right back down.

 

Back inside and a pair of dropkicks put Brian down again but Taka gets caught in a full nelson legsweep. There’s a sitout powerbomb by Christopher but he poses too much, allowing Taka to grab a rollup for two. A missile dropkick to the back of Taka’s head puts him down again and a backbreaker gets two.

 

Brian stays cocky by slapping Taka in the face over and over (Jerry: “Just like I slapped Andy Kaufman!”) before clotheslining him down for two. Now the release German suplex connects but Brian takes forever to cover. Instead it’s a powerslam to put Taka down but Christopher misses the top rope legdrop, allowing Taka to hit the Michinoku Driver for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: C. Really basic match here but it made sense to put the belt on Taka at first. Christopher was just a guy who happened to be in the weight division and never fight the style at all. The match wasn’t bad or anything but the division never worked nearly as well as the company hoped it to.

 

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

 

Remember the match they had on the last show? Well here it is again but in a six man match with Savio and Crush sitting this one out. Crush isn’t here due to an injury and Savio is ejected to really make it three on three. Miguel and Chainz get us going with the biker cleaning house and sending Miguel into the corner for a tag off to Jesus. 8-Ball comes in as well to send Jesus face first into the mat.

 

Off to Jose who is powerslammed down, followed by a knee drop from Skull for two. A side slam and swinging neckbreaker put Jose down again but the other Boricuas interfere to take over. Miguel hits something off the top but hurts his leg so it’s off to Jesus for a chinlock. A jumping back elbow from Jose puts Skull down again as Savio tries to come out and replace Miguel. Skull avoids a charge into the post and makes a hot tag off to Chainz. House is cleaned with Chainz hitting a Death Valley Driver but the referee is distracted by Savio, allowing a perfectly fine Miguel to sneak in and blast Chainz, giving Jose the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Not only was the match boring but it couldn’t have been more uninteresting if it tried. There’s just no reason to care about these guys and there’s no real story other than they’re both gangs. Savio and Crush were the only people in the match people would have cared about and they weren’t even around. Horrible idea here.

 

Butterbean, a professional boxer, says he’s ready for Marc Mero.

 

We look at a recap of Mero vs. Butterbean, which is about Mero being obsessed with people looking at Sable. Therefore, he challenged Butterbean to a fight which was eventually called a Toughman contest to avoid issues with the state athletic commission. The idea is Mero is insanely jealous and challenged Butterbean to a fight as a result.

 

Marc Mero vs. Butterbean

 

Butterbean is a legitimate boxer who weighed over 300lbs so this is fixed to prevent Mero from being killed. There are four two minute rounds and Mero runs a lot to start round one. He hides in the ropes and Butterbean gets annoyed so he knocks Mero off the apron with a big right hand. Back in and they keep feeling each other out with nothing of note until the end of the round. A brawl breaks out between the rounds but again it goes nowhere.

 

Mero chokes away in the corner to start round two before pounding away with rights and lefts. Nothing of note happens until the end of the round when Mero dropkicks Butterbean into the corner. Round three is all Butterbean with Mero getting pounded into the corner and being knocked silly by a huge right hand to end the round. Butterbean doesn’t want it to end that way though so he pours water on Mero to wake him up. Round four begins with another huge right hand to drop Mero so he hits Butterbean low for the DQ.

 

Rating: F. Considering the fans were chanting boring before the match started and were almost silent other than for the big punches, what else would you expect me to think of this? This kind of stuff has never worked and almost never will because of one simple reason: wrestling fans want to watch wrestling, not boxing. If they wanted to watch boxing, they’d buy a boxing show. It really is that simple.

 

Mero breaks a stool over Butterbean’s back post match and runs off before Butterbean eats him.

 

Here are Goldust and his new chick Luna Vachon. The idea here is that Goldust is starving for attention so he’s in, I kid you not, pink leather with a pink wig and a Mardi Gras mask while being lead around on a chain by Luna. He reads Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss in various voices and is dragged off by Luna who calls him scum.

 

We recap the New Age Outlaws shocking the world by beating the LOD (who beat the Godwinns a day after the last show) for the tag team titles with the help of a chair. The New Age Outlaws are the newly formed team of Jesse James (now called Road Dogg) and Billy Gunn who said they were tired of fighting each other and formed a team.

 

LOD promises to get their belts back.

 

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

 

The Outlaws have their signature entrance in place but it’s not down to perfection yet. The LOD chases them up the aisle when the Outlaws want to stretch a bit beforehand. Road Dogg continues to run his mouth before getting in the ring until some officials force them back towards ringside where the LOD tosses them back inside. Animal beats on Road Dogg to start and clotheslines him down. Off to Hawk for some right hands and a dropkick, sending Road Dogg out to the floor.

 

Back in and Hawk hits a neckbreaker to send Dogg back to the floor for a meeting with Billy. Hawk clotheslines both guys down from the apron and kicks Dogg in the face for good measure. A rake to the face sends Dogg to the floor for the third time where he is sent face first into the announce table. All LOD so far and it’s back to Animal who catches Dogg’s leapfrog in a powerbomb for two.

 

They head outside for the fifth time where Billy gets dropped face first onto the steps, putting him in just as much pain as his partner. The champions try to leave but the LOD will have none of that and drag the Outlaws back to the ring. With the referee distracted, Billy hits Hawk low and Road Dogg finds a cooler of soft drinks to crack him over the back. Back in and the Outlaws actually get to take over with Road Dogg getting two off a dropkick.

 

Billy comes in legally for the first time and distracts the referee, allowing Dogg to get in a cheap shot from the apron. Gunn hooks a neck crank but Hawk fights up, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. A double tag brings in Animal to powerslam Dogg before crushing him with a shoulder block. LOD loads up the Doomsday Device but the referee is with Billy, allowing the Godwinns to come in with their buckets. Hawk takes it away and wears out the Outlaws for the DQ.

 

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t much but it got the LOD away from the title picture for awhile. The Outlaws were the breath of air that the division had been starving for since about 1995 and the impact was quickly felt. Their matches never were all that great but they were eventually so ridiculously over that it didn’t matter.

 

We recap Sgt. Slaughter vs. HHH. There isn’t much to this one: Slaughter is authority, DX is anti-authority. Tonight they’re having a boot camp match (a street fight) which was Slaughter’s signature match back during his career.

 

HHH has a Sgt. Slaughter survivor kit: a comb (Slaughter is mostly bald), prunes and Depends. He says this isn’t Slaughter’s generation but rather D-Generation, so it’s time to take care of the old guys.

 

Sgt. Slaughter vs. HHH

 

Anything goes. Slaughter comes out to the same music that Patriot came out to for his PPV appearances. Slaughter pounds on Helmsley with his riding crop to start and pounds him down before stomping away at the ribs. HHH is thrown out to the floor and dropped throat first across the barricade as the match continues its slow start. Slaughter covers for no count, establishing that the fall has to occur in the ring.

 

HHH goes into the steps and gets kicked into the aisle with Slaughter still in full control. Back inside and Slaughter drops him with the riding crop to the throat before choking away. A clothesline gets two and Slaughter calls for his Cobra Clutch but HHH rolls out of it. Slaughter is whipped into the corner and out to the floor (a signature spot) to give HHH a breather. HHH whips him into the barricade for a little payback before throwing him into the crowd. Back to ringside and HHH chokes away, only to have to duck the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) which takes out the timekeeper instead. Slaughter is cracked in the back by a belt and we head back inside. A chain to the jaw puts Slaughter down for two as the timekeeper is taken to the back.

 

HHH drops the chain for some reason, allowing Slaughter to pick it up and give him a chance. Not that it lasts long or anything though as he is almost immediately backdropped to the floor to keep HHH in control. Back in and HHH goes up, only to dive into a boot to the jaw. Slaughter can’t slam HHH but can hit a suplex to put both guys down. The older guy goes up top but gets slammed down for another two count.

 

HHH grabs a sleeper for a good while until Slaughter escapes and puts on the Cobra Clutch, only to have Chyna come in for the save. Chyna gets yelled at so she blasts the referee and pulls in a chair. Slaughter sees her coming through and throws powder in her eyes, only to be blasted in the face by HHH’s boot. Another boot shot misses though and Slaughter puts on the Clutch. The referee wakes up to check HHH’s arm but Chyna kicks Slaughter low to break up the hold. A Pedigree onto the chair is finally enough to end Slaughter.

 

Rating: D. This just went WAY too long, running nearly eighteen minutes. They easily could have accomplished the same goals with about half the time and that’s a problem when you have a retired guy pushing 50 out there. Slaughter wasn’t really worth much here though, especially with Vince as the real boss of the company now.

 

The returning Jeff Jarrett is ready for his in ring return. He promises the cream will rise to the top tonight and become the #1 contender. He’s in a white outfit with big shoulder pads that looks like something you would see in a low budget sci-fi movie.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Undertaker

 

Undertaker stalks him to start and no sells some right hands. A bunch of right hands in the corner just make Undertaker mad, so he grabs Jarrett and launches him into the corner for a beating. There’s a hard clothesline to put Jarrett down for two and Taker cranks on the arm a bit. Old School connects but Jarrett tries some kicks to the knee for a breather. A chop block takes Undertaker down but he fights back and pounds away. There’s a legdrop for two and a big boot keeps Jarrett in trouble….until the lights go out. Cue Kane to the ring, only to chokeslam Jarrett for the DQ.

 

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and nothing more than a way to run an angle. Amazingly enough, this didn’t launch Jarrett up the card and almost no one remembered him because of the story going on. The match was a glorified squash for Undertaker as Jarrett couldn’t get anything going at all.

 

Kane slaps Undertaker in the face and Undertaker is tempted to fight but instead just stands still as Kane launched fire out of the corners of the ring. Kane leaves so Jarrett goes after Undertaker’s knee again, earning himself a horrible looking chokeslam. Jarrett is named the winner and you would think he won the WWF Title.

 

Mark Henry is in the Milton Bradley (yes as in the board game company) cheering section.

 

We recap Rock vs. Steve Austin. Yeah it’s The Rock now. Rock has proclaimed his greatness and let all of his early success go to his head. On the other hand, Austin is a rebel who will fight anyone and everyone, including the Nation who has come after Austin due to his attack on Faarooq at Bad Blood. Rock then stole the belt (Austin is still champion) and dared Austin to come get it back. This led to an awesome series of promos and segments with Austin encouraging the ROCKY SUCKS chants.

 

The biggest segment of all though was Austin saying that Rock was going to be walking through the airport when his beeper goes off and it says Austin 3:16, meaning Austin owns him. Rock was in the ring for a promo when his beeper went off and read 3:16. Austin popped up and pounded the tar out of Rock, sending the crowd through the roof. It was clear that these two were the future and that Rock had just needed the right feud to bring him up to the next level.

 

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

 

Rock brings the Nation with him so Austin drives a Stone Cold truck down the aisle. The brawl is on immediately and the bell hasn’t even rung yet. The Nation gets in the ring and beats Austin down four on one. Austin gets up and backdrops D’Lo onto the hood of the car before Stunning him on the top. The bell rings and Austin slugs it out with Rock before taking him down with a Thesz Press and more right hands.

 

Rock throws him to the floor and the Nation gets in a few extra cheap shots to the back. They fight into the aisle but Kama’s chair shot hits Faarooq in the head, allowing Austin to ram Kama head first through the window. The fans are just nuts for Austin here. Austin hasn’t even been able to take his vest off as Rock pounds away at him and chokes on the ropes. Rock stomps Austin down in the corner before dropping the yet to be named People’s Elbow.

 

We hit a chinlock to give them a breather but Rocky misses another elbow attempt. Now it’s Austin stomping Rock down in the corner but has to punch Kama instead of Stunning Rock. Austin backs up and blindly Stuns the referee. Rock finds some brass knuckles but gets caught in the Stunner as another referee comes in to count the pin.

 

Rating: B-. This one depends on your taste but the match is very important from an historical perspective. This match paved the way for what would become the Attitude Era style with no semblance of order or rules and the two guys just beating the tar out of each other. The style had to be implemented to protect Austin’s neck and give him a way to still compete while not risking further injuries. These two would have a lot more matches and we’ll get to see one of the better ones later.

 

Video on Shamrock destroying everyone in his path so far and making everyone from Rock to Bret to Austin tap out. On Raw, Shawn put a fake leg in a wheelchair and had HHH twist the ankle around to show how much pain he could withstand in a funny bit.

 

Shamrock says he’s ready.

 

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock

 

Shawn is WWF and European Champion here just because he wanted to be, though that would change soon on Raw. Shawn throws some right hands to start but gets his head kicked off, sending Michaels out to the floor. Back in and Shawn stalls a lot before being launched hard into the corner. A backdrop puts Shawn down and another whip sends him out to the floor. Chyna tries to distract Ken but he catches Shawn sneaking in with a right hand, sending Shawn’s water flying out of his mouth.

 

Shawn gets him into the corner and pounds away but Shamrock will have none of it and sends Shawn to the floor again. This match still hasn’t had a chance to get going and it’s getting a bit annoying. Shawn rakes Shamrock’s eyes and pounds away, only to have his sunset flip blocked. The challenger sends him into the corner to crotch Shawn on the top rope. Shawn escapes the belly to belly suplex and sends Shamrock to the floor for some punishment from HHH.

 

A plancha from the ring takes Shamrock down again but a baseball slide misses, allowing Shamrock to pound away with lefts and rights. HHH takes a shot as well but Chyna sends Ken into the post to put him down. Shawn distracts the referee so DX can pound away even more before sending Shamrock back inside. Michaels goes after Ken’s back with a series of elbows, including one from the middle rope. A dropkick gets two and Shawn chokes away in the corner. The admonishment allows HHH to get in even more cheap shots.

 

Shamrock rolls through a Shawn cross body for two and Michaels is scared. A rake to the eyes puts Shamrock down again and we hit the chinlock. It’s off to a sleeper instead as Shawn calls some very loud spots. The hold stays on for a good while until Shamrock powers his way back up. Ken pounds away and scores with a powerslam, putting Michaels in big trouble. A standing hurricanrana allows Shamrock to pound away even more before countering a sunset flip into a rollup for two.

 

Shawn comes back with a quick hot shot to slow Ken down but his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb for a very close two. HHH and Chyna pull Shamrock to the floor again and beat him down (the referee didn’t think anything of Shamrock being down when Shawn never touched him), setting up Shawn’s top rope elbow for no cover. Sweet Chin Music is countered into into the belly to belly suplex but DX comes in for the disqualification before the ankle lock can go on.

 

Rating: C+. The match got better once they got down to business but the ending hurt it a lot. Shamrock never even got to put on the ankle lock to give the fans a sweat which should have been the most obvious spot of the match. This wasn’t terrible, but it could have been better if they planned the match better.

 

Post match DX destroys Shamrock until a man in a black sweatshirt comes out to destroy Shawn. It’s Owen Hart, who hasn’t been seen in a month. He pounds away on Shawn before running away through the crowd. DX poses a lot to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: D. The main event is just ok and the only good match on the show only runs about six minutes so there’s really no reason to see the show. This was a weird time for the company as they were trying to figure out where to go next. The end result at Wrestlemania was obvious, but they didn’t exactly know how to get there. This show wasn’t the right way though and it was a horrible show as a result. Not worth seeing at all with the exception of Rock vs. Austin which is always worth a look.

 

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Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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