Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

It’s the second half of the show and in this case, it needs to get a pretty big upgrade over the first half. Night one was a decent enough show, but it wasn’t memorable, which is the point of a show like this. Now that being being said, this show is built around the Clusterf*** Battle Royal, which could be quite the mess. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

We open with Joey Janela talking about beating Sean Waltman last night and wanting his flowers. He wonders why the fans hate him now but Spring Break needs a lethal dose of poison to turn it back into what it is supposed to be. This year, he is entering the Clusterf*** so he can end it once and for all. Maybe just don’t run it then?

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Dickinson

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona, who is currently the king, meaning yes he does have a Macho King crown. Green gets in an ALL HAIL THE DEATHMATCH KING and the fans are all over Cardona again. Cardona insults GCW and says they are the power couple of wrestling. Six years ago, he won the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, but now he’s in this piece of garbage ring. If he was in WWE, like he should be, he would be celebrating his friend Mark Calaway, who he will see in the Hall of Fame one day.

Dickinson comes out with….MISSY HYATT to even things out, which is one of those names that makes this show feel fun. Both pairs share good luck kisses before the match, with Hyatt’s leaving Dickinson woozy. Dickinson wrestles him to the mat to start but Cardona is up to yell at Hyatt. That doesn’t work well for Dickinson, who grabs a cross armbreaker to send Cardona bailing to the floor.

Back in and Green grabs Dickinson’s foot for a distraction so Cardona can stomp away. After throwing his shirt at Hyatt, Cardona chokes with the wrist tape and then his hand for a bonus. The running forearm drops Dickinson again and a neckbreaker gives Cardona two. It’s already door time but Cardona spends too much time mocking the crowd, allowing Dickinson to backdrop him through the door in the corner.

The slugout is on with Cardona going to the eyes, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. The brainbuster gives Dickinson two but Green offers a distraction, allowing Cardona to nail a spear for two. Missy finally grabs Cardona’s boot and slaps Green, allowing Dickinson to hit a Death Valley Driver for two of his own.

Green offers another distraction so Cardona can hit a low blow into the Rough Ryder for two. Now it’s Green coming in and hitting Cardona with Missy’s loaded purse by mistake, allowing Dickinson to clothesline her down. The toss Razor’s Edge is enough for Dickinson to pin both of them at once at 12:43.

Rating: C+. You really can see why the GCW fans can’t stand Cardona in this run as he is one of the most annoying and obnoxious heels you could want to see. He is playing up the idea of being a big shot and that is one of the best ways to get heat from anyone. Dickinson is a decent power guy and looked good here, though Missy kind of disappeared for large chunks of the match.

Biff Busick vs. Tony Deppen

Feeling out process to start with Deppen trying to go to the mat to little success. Back up and Busick goes to the armbar, which has Deppen bailing to the ropes. Busick chops the heck out of Deppen, whose chops back have no effect. They head outside with Busick uppercutting away but a chop only hits the post. With Busick trying to shake it off, Deppen hits a flip dive off the apron and they head back inside.

Busick is fine enough to knee him down and the figure four necklock sends Deppen to the ropes again. Back up and Busick gets a little more violent by holding Deppen in place for some slaps to the face. Deppen is smart enough to go after Busick’s bad hand but Busick hits a running uppercut to take him down again.

Busick misses a charge though and Deppen hits a suicide flip dive for two back inside. Back up and the slugout goes to Busick until Deppen goes for the hand and grabs a Kimura of all things. With that broken up, Busick wins another strike off but Deppen avoids a charge in the corner. A running knee finishes Busick at 11:40.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need two people to hit each other really hard and you got at least half of that here with Busick’s beating. Busick might not be a star in the making, but he’s an established hard hitter in the middle of the card and that should be enough to get him quite a few jobs. At the same time, you have Deppen as one of the better heels I’ve seen in a bit, as he is just straight up unlikable. Keep going with that and he’ll be fine.

Post match Deppen thanks Busick for the match but tells anyone who doesn’t believe in him what they can kiss.

Mike Bailey vs. Jordan Oliver

Bailey does his bow and they shake hands to start. Oliver does his pose so Bailey kicks him in the face and strikes away but Oliver is back up with chops of his own. Bailey’s leapfrog is countered into a faceplant and Oliver sends him outside for a big dive. Some kicks send Oliver through some chairs though and Bailey knees him in the chest.

Back in and Bailey kicks him in the chest for two, followed by the YES Kicks to make it worse. Bailey hits a running kick to the face in the corner and they strike it out again. Oliver snaps off a release German suplex and a sitout powerbomb for two but Bailey sends him outside. There’s the springboard moonsault to the floor and they strike it out on the apron.

Bailey gets the better of things and hits the moonsault knees, setting up the bouncing kicks back inside. The big kick to the head looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Oliver counters it with a cutter. A handspring cutter gets two so Oliver goes up, only to get pulled down with something like a One Winged Angel for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: C+. As is usually the case with Bailey, the action was good but he continues to have such a punchable face that it is hard to get into his matches. The good thing here was he didn’t have the stupid no selling that drags down every good thing he does, making this slightly easier to watch than most of his matches. Oliver has come a long way but still has a good bit to go before he moves up to the next level.

Effy says he shouldn’t be here but tonight he’ll beat Minoru Suzuki, have his own show tomorrow, and then maybe he’ll come for some gold.

Effy vs. Minoru Suzuki

Allie Katch is here with Effy. They both stick their jaws out with offers of a free shot but Effy’s attempt at a kiss gets him slapped. Suzuki slaps him down and then a kick to the face puts Effy on the floor. They head outside with Effy telling him to chop as hard as he can. That’s fine with Suzuki, who mocks Effy’s return chops.

A big boot sends Effy through the chairs and Suzuki cranks on the arm back inside. Effy tries some forearms but gets dropped with a single one from Suzuki. Then Effy bites Suzuki’s nipple and northern lights suplexes him for two. The big kiss staggers Suzuki but it’s a slap to the face and the Gotch style piledriver to give Suzuki the pin at 9:04.

Rating: C. Effy’s stuff may or may not be your cup of tea but Suzuki more or less squashed him here in a match with little to no doubt about the outcome. Effy was doing little more than comedy here so it isn’t like there was much to get annoyed about. They were going for the “wouldn’t it be funny if these two wrestled” idea here and I’ve seen worse versions.

Greatest Clusterf***

So this is basically a Royal Rumble, but only in the very loosest of terms. There are no set time intervals and I don’t believe there is a set number of entrants. I’m not going to be able to keep track of all of the eliminations, as I’ve never seen a version of this where they are all announced. This is going to be about total chaos and some surprise entrants and nothing more. You can be eliminated by pinfall, submission, over the top, leaving the building and…death?

Joey Janela is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 for your first surprise. Granted Buff is on a crutch but he has the American Males theme so this could be a lot worse. Janela wants to strut with him but it’s a superkick to get rid of Buff very quickly. George Gatton, with an unidentified title, is in at #3 and it’s a superkick into a piledriver to get rid of him too. Judas Judd Cassidy (I think?) is in at #4 and gets thrown over the top just as fast.

Yoya is in at #5 and suplexes Janela but gets caught in a heck of a package piledriver for the pin. Billie Starkz is in at #6 and a Gory Bomb takes Janela down but he raises knees to block her Swanton. That’s it for Starkz and it’s Juicy Finau (a big guy) in at #7. Janela can’t suplex him so Finau does it to Janela instead and it’s the even larger Sam Stackhouse, in Bam Bam Bigelow inspired gear, in at #8.

That leaves Janela to get crushed in the corner by back to back splashes but Stackhouse misses an ugly moonsault. Janela tosses both of them and it’s Rhett Titus in at #9 as Janela keeps up his Brock Lesnar-esque run. Titus wrestles him down and hits the running boot in the corner until it’s the Invisible Man in at #10.

So we have the Invisible Man, Janela and Titus with Titus and the Man slugging it out. The Man gets the better of both of them but an elbow to the face lets Janela and Titus beat him down. A double suplex lets the two of them pose but Man is back with a double low blow. The Man throws out Titus but gets stomped down until Dante Leon is in at #11. They waste no time in the next entrant with Ninja Mack in at #12.

Leon and Mack are long time rivals so they pose at each other before superkicking Janela down. A shooting star piledriver drops Mack and it’s a sick looking Jimmy Lloyd in at #13. Janela and Lloyd put on masks and they rehash their Social Distancing match, meaning they punch from a safe distance. Mack isn’t having that and kicks Lloyd down, setting up the running flip dive to drop Janela on the floor. Back in and Lloyd runs Mack over for the pin and Early Morning Guy Steele is in at #14.

Steele doesn’t seem to know what he is doing and falls off the top as Janela and Lloyd watch from the middle of the ring. Then Steele gives them a running double Blockbuster and a Canadian Destroyer each. Then he goes up top for a 450 to Lloyd, only to get rolled up for the pin from Janela. That was a weird one and it’s Blake Christian in at #15. House is cleaned but the Invisible Man hits Christian low. That earns him a dropkick and it’s Kevin Blackwood in at #16.

Blackwood’s suplex gets two on Leon and stomps on Janela in the corner until Hoodfoot is in at #17. Hoodfoot and Blackwood slug it out until Slade is in at #18. Young Dumb And Broke (Charlie Tiger and Ellis Taylor) are in at #19 and #20, giving us Janela, Invisible Man, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Hoodfoot, Slade, Tiger and Taylor as this is far more organized than I was expecting. Everyone hits everyone until Deranged is in at #21 to clean house. With that going nowhere, Grim Reefer is in at #22 and has a smoke.

We now pause for everyone to partake, including Janela, who says he isn’t with AEW anymore and can do what he wants. Janela runs to the back (I don’t think he’s been eliminated but who can tell around here?) and Sandra Moone is in at #23. Reefer clotheslines her down and it’s Parrow in at #24. House is cleaned with Deranged and Reefer being eliminated almost immediately.

Big F’N Vin is in at #25 as Janela is having some Cheetos. Vin kicks Parrow out without much trouble as Janela wants to know his next spot. Nate Webb is in at #26 and comes through the crowd, who sings his theme music. Lloyd gets dropped by the Invisible Man, who hammers on Webb in the corner. Janela superkicks the Invisible Man though and tosses him out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Webb misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor and Hoodfoot is tossed as well.

Shazza McKenzie is in at #27 and goes after Janela to start the beating. Janela gets in a shot to the face though and grabs a door, only to have McKenzie spear him through it. Janai Kai is in at #28 and Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang’s daughter) follows her at #29. The four women in the match stare each other down and it’s Edith Surreal in at #30. That gives us Janela, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Tiger, Ellis, Moone, Vin, McKenzie, Kai, Yang and Surreal, assuming I didn’t miss any random eliminations.

Dark Sheik, another woman, is in at #31 and we have a six woman showdown. Uh make that seven as LuFisto is in at #32. Some of the guys come in to go after the women, with Leon and Taylor being tossed out. The women all beat up Tiger and toss him out with Vin joining him. Then the women get into it, with Kai kicking out LuFisto. Moone is out as well and McKenzie hits a Stunner on Kai for the elimination. Janela comes back in to superkick McKenzie for the pin and it’s Maven of all people in at #33.

Everyone stops to look at him so Maven hits a bunch of dropkicks….and then walks out for an elimination. Fans: “THANK YOU MAVEN!” With everyone else pairing off, Sean Ross Sapp, yes the dirt sheet writer, is in at #34, drawing a WE WANT MELTZER chant. Sapp gets a mic and begs people to subscribe to Fightful Select so they can read about GCW wrestlers getting fired by AEW. Josh Barnett, former UFC Heavyweight Champion, is in at #35 but fellow writer Denise Salcedo (not in the match) comes in to low blow Sapp and toss him out.

Nasty Leroy is in at #36 and Barnett blasts him with a clothesline as Jimmy Wang Yang is in at #37. Yang manages to take him down (not the prettiest but it worked) so Jazzy (remember, Yang’s daughter) comes in to grab the leg, which apparently counts as a submission to get rid of Barnett. Jazzy rolls up Lloyd for an elimination and it’s Alec Price in at #38. Price tosses Yang and dances a bit before getting kicked in the face by Jazzy. That’s enough for Price to toss her as well and it’s Cole Radrick in at #39.

Radrick and Price wind up on the apron and it’s a double elimination. Brandon Kirk is in at #40, giving us Janela, Christian, Blackwood, Slade, Surreal, Sheik, Leroy and Kirk (I think at least). Sheik hits Kirk low as we’re told Slade has left the building. Janela runs the ropes a lot until Lord Adrean (a Wal-Mart Guy) is in at #41. Adrean cleans house and Tombstones Kirk for the elimination, only to get Death Valley Drivered by Janela for another elimination. Kevin Matthews (you might remember him as KM in Impact) is in at #42 and stares it down with Leroy.

A not great looking Rock Bottom plants Matthews and a worse Rock Bottom sets up a leglock for the tap as Janela busts a gut laughing. Then Janela hits Leroy low and pins him and it’s Nick Wayne in at #43 for a brawl on the apron with Janela. Wayne superkicks Janela out for one heck of a pop and here is B-Boy to introduce Team LA Fights, which are six unnamed people. The team (Jai Vidal and Jack Cartwheel are two of them) clean house and something like a Styles Clash into a sitout powerbomb gets rid of Blackwood.

With those six in at #44-49, the Second City Crew (AJ Gray/Mance Warner/Matthew Justice/1 Called Manders and Levi Everett) are in #50-#54. The Crew cleans house with Matt Vandagriff (of LA Fights) being tossed. Damian Drake and Ju Dizz (I think) are both out with Hunter Freeman joining them. Cartwheel gets knocked out but walks on his hands until Manders chairs him down for the elimination. Vidal is tossed out and the Crew is left alone until the others still in the match come in.

Christian and Wayne get together to toss Everett and Manders. Somehow Christian and Wayne are the last two with Christian hitting a quick Downward Spiral for the pin…and never mind as yeah there are some people still left. Sheik comes in off the top with a spinwheel kick and the rest of the Crew pile onto her for the pin. Christian goes after the Crew but gets taken down and superplexed into a top rope legdrop for the pin….and that’s it at 1:23:57 (I guess Surreal was tossed somewhere in there).

Rating: C+. To be clear, this match is not about something coherent or anything more than having one name after another. That being said, this was WAY more coherent than the previous edition and that helped a lot. This felt more like a very indy Royal Rumble and, save for Surreal, no one was getting lost in the whole thing. I had a good time with this and it did fly by with some fun moments. It’s the kind of match that I was expecting from a Spring Break and it went well, especially with all of the insanity that came with it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was more like the Spring Breaks of the past and it worked out pretty well all things considered. It was a collection of some fun matches before we got to the big main event and that wound up working well. Good stuff here and it didn’t feel like a regular GCW show. While those can be fun, it’s not what I came into this wanting. The main event is all that mattered here and the other four matches were a nice bonus so we’ll call this a success.

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 17, 2020
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re almost to the last taping cycle from this company for a good while. Last week’s show ended with the announcement that Tessa Blanchard would defend the World Title against both Michael Elgin and Eddie Edwards at Rebellion. That’s kind of a problem now as there is likely no Rebellion, meaning this could be a rather interesting show if they didn’t edit things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the end of last week’s show, with Blanchard agreeing to the triple threat match.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: The North vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh

TJP and Bahh are challenging after winning some singles matches and a non-title match to set this up. The brawl is on before the referee can lower the titles, meaning the champions try to hit Bahh in the head for some reason. Alexander gets hit with Poetry In Motion and a belly to belly from Bahh. TJP gets caught in the wrong corner though and a knee drop sets up the chinlock.

The North go with the delayed vertical suplex and pass TJP back and forth, making me wonder if it was either them or Santana/Ortiz who did that first. TJP reverses into a rollup anyway though and sends the champs together. The double chickenwing gutbuster allows Bahh to get the tag and house is quickly cleaned. Everyone crashes out to the floor and we take a break. Back with TJP diving over for another hot tag to Bahh so everyone can be knocked down again.

Bahh no sells Alexander’s German suplex and hits a clothesline before going down as well. The double Neutralizer gives Alexander two but Bahh is back up with a double clothesline. TJP comes back in with the kneebar to Page and switches into the STF. The referee is with Alexander as Page taps so Bahh knocks Alexander to the floor and hits a suicide dive. Back in and TJP sends the champs into each other but the Detonation kick is countered into the toss spinebuster (dubbed the Northern Assault) to retain the titles at 19:04.

Rating: B. The North are as good of a team as this company has had since LAX and that’s some high praise. They’re going to set the record for the longest Tag Team Title reign in company history and that’s something they’ve earned. I could go for a rematch here and odds are we’re going to see one, though I’m not sure we’ll see a title change.

Video Team Edwards vs. Team Elgin at Lockdown, with a “Lockdown is Postponed” graphic. Shame as that could have been interesting. Eddie’s team included himself, Tommy Dreamer, Daga and Tessa Blanchard.

And now, Real Housewives of Slam Town. Taya Valkyrie and her dog are having drinks with her friends when Rosemary comes in. She is ordered to change out of her regular shirt and switches into more normal (for this crowd) looking attire. Drinking ensues and they go to the Alabama Slamtown club, where Rosemary sucks out one of Taya’s friend’s (Holly) soul. Holly is a little loopy after. This was rather fun in a wacky opposite way.

Josh and Callis talk about the recent Realityislost hacks and have guards at the production truck. They also hype up Lockdown, which is looking like a good show.

Chris Bey vs. Damian Drake

This is Bey’s debut. Bey shoulders him down to start and runs the ropes a bit before taking out the leg. A running kick to the head sets up the running flip dive to the floor as it’s all Bey so far. Back in and Bey kicks him in the head, setting up a rolling neckbreaker. Drake hits a right hand, only to get sent into the middle buckle. A jumping knee to the head sets up the Beymasser (springboard Fameasser) finishes Drake at 3:51.

Rating: C. Bey looked good here as this was a pure showcase match for him. He’s fast and smooth and that’s something that could get him rather far around here. I was excited to see him signed as he’s impressed me every time I’ve seen him so far and this was no exception as he looked polished.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Ken Shamrock wins the World Title on the first show.

Alisha Edwards gets a spot on Jordynne Grace’s Lethal Lockdown team and sings a song about it.

Tenille Dashwood video.

Chase Stevens is proud to be back for One Night Only when Moose interrupts and calls him Brett Michaels. Moose mocks him for never being a star so Chase calls him out for never winning a title here. A fight breaks out and Moose gets knocked down.

It’s time for the Gut Check finals and Shogun Jackson Stone wins. Good for him.

Tessa Blanchard is ready to face anyone because she’s a different woman. She’ll face Elgin and Edwards at Rebellion because she’s a fighting champion.

Cancel Culture vs. Deaners

That would be Rob Van Dam and Joey Ryan in glasses and a turtleneck. Ryan introduces the team as three people with extraordinary gifts: Rob’s athleticism, Katie’s curves and Ryan’s…..it. Rob makes fun of the Deaners for drinking before the match because perish the thought of someone wrestling under the influence. Katie is in a big coat and Ryan’s turtleneck comes off to reveal a regular collared shirt.

Cody stomps Joey down in the corner to start until a jawbreaker gets him out of trouble. Van Dam comes in to kick Cody to the floor but won’t let the fans see Rolling Thunder. It’s back to Ryan to tease making Cody touch it but instead lets Cody go, meaning it’s off to Jake. Everything breaks down and Joey superkicks Jake down, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 4:28.

Rating: D. I’m not sure on this. Cancel Culture might have some potential as they’re mocking….something, but I wasn’t big on the story in the first place. That being said, anything that gets us away from the usual Ryan shtick is a good thing so I’ll certainly take what I can get out of this.

Ken Shamrock has an announcement for tonight but won’t say what it is.

Willie Mack runs into Ace Austin, who talks about how much Mack has impressed him. Ace wants them to win the Tag Team Titles together but Mack says no because Rich Swann is his partner. He’ll go for some gold though because he’s in a #1 contenders match for the X-Division Title next week.

Kiera Hogan vs. Lacey Ryan

Ryan impressed last week so hopefully it wasn’t a one off. Kiera jumps her from behind to start and grabs a hurricanrana, only to get muscled over with a German suplex. A few shots to the back put Lacey down in the corner and a running basement dropkick gets two. The bodyscissors goes on until Lacey muscles her up and hits some clotheslines. A slingshot elbow sets up something like a belly to back GTS for no cover. Instead Kiera is back with a kick to the head and the fisherman’s neckbreaker finishes Ryan at 5:29.

Rating: C-. It was nice while it lasted but they didn’t get a ton of time. Ryan did look good again but there is only so much that she can do when she is losing in less than six minutes. If they’re not going to keep her around or push her, there is no reason for her to beat Hogan so the booking makes sense. Not bad though, and Ryan could be a player in the future.

James Mitchell sends Su Yung a letter, ordering her to face Havok in the Undead Realm next week.

Michael Elgin picks Taya Valkyrie and the North for his Lethal Lockdown team.

Jake Crist vs. Daga

Jake shouts OVE a lot to start before they go into the battle over arm control. That’s broken up as Josh makes mention of Rebellion, which is not listed as canceled. I’m not sure how likely that one is but points for false hope. Daga’s crucifix gets two and he kicks away, only to have Jake’s kicks miss. Jake heads outside and sweeps Daga’s leg to send him onto the apron. That means a suicide dive into a DDT to plant Daga and we take a break.

Back with Jake grabbing the reverse Rings of Saturn, sending Daga over to the ropes. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s Daga up first with the quick kicks. Daga suplexes him into a powerbomb for two but Jake kicks him in the face for the same. Jake catches a diving Daga in a cutter for two, only to have Daga kick him back. The double underhook gutbuster finishes Jake at 12:23.

Rating: C+. Daga has grown on me quite a bit lately as he’s rather smooth in the ring and can do a lot of different things. I can see why people seem so high on him and why they would want to push him. Nice match here too as Jake gets to show off the talent that he absolutely has.

Security may have caught the Realityislost hacker but it’s really ordained minister Ryan Cage. He’s just looking for his brother. Ok then.

TNA show video.

Here’s Ken Shamrock for his big announcement. Ken loves being here with all of the talented wrestlers and soaks in some WELCOME BACK chants. He doesn’t actually know what the announcement is, but Josh Matthews does: he’s going into the Hall of Fame. We get his career highlight video, complete with WWF footage…..and then the Realityislost video hits.

A man in black shows up in the ring and fireballs Shamrock before taking off his hood to reveal himself as Sami Callihan. Nice callback to what could have been an awesome NXT gimmick there and I could go for more of that as it’s an untapped idea. Medics help Shamrock to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener and closing angle were both good and the middle part was fine enough so we’ll call this a pretty good show. It’s a shame that Lockdown isn’t happening as they made me want to see that show in only a handful of vignettes. They head to Atlanta next week and I’m not sure what they have after that, but this was a good show in the meantime.

Results

The North b. TJP/Fallah Bahh – Northern Assault to TJP

Chris Bey b. Damian Drake – Beymesser

Cancel Culture b. Deaners – Five Star Frog Splash to Jake

Kiera Hogan b. Lacey Ryan – Fisherman’s neckbreaker

Daga b. Jake Crist – Double underhook gutbuster

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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