Reviewing the Review: Wrestlemania XXXI

This is a show where most fans just didn’t want to see it. The interest wasn’t there, but it had one good thing going for it: it’s Wrestlemania. No matter what happens on the show, there’s always something worth checking out. A few days before the show, I was talking about the card on the radio and the host said that it was a good card on paper and you would be looking forward to the show if you hadn’t seen the build. That seemed more and more accurate as the show came closer. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the card, I want to cover some of the scenery. Above all else, that stage was HUGE. It was probably an easy forty yards long, making the wrestlers look tiny by comparison. That helped give the show the huge feel it was hoping for and the whole thing looked great. I know some people have complained about the sunlight but it really didn’t bother me that much. I’ve seen shows outside where it was raining so hard that there were puddles in the ring so some sun isn’t exactly a disaster.

The opening pre-show match was its usual fun, though I liked the elimination style from last year better. Jey Uso not being able to go hurt things a bit but having one less person might have been the best thing that could have happened in this mess. Also, it’s not like he’s some polar opposite from his brother. When I’m reviewing an Uso match I just pick one of their names and alternate whenever they tag. Does it really matter either way?

The match was a huge spotfest as you would expect and eventually lost all semblance of wrestling. Normally that would sound bad but it was exactly what it should have been here. The champs stood out more than anyone else and it’s clear that no one cares about New Day and Los Matadores, but did anyone not know that coming in? The champs retains after Cesaro stole a pin, which was exactly the ending they should have gone with.

The second match was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and Big Show won. Why you ask? Because apparently he’s never won a battle royal and we’re supposed to ignore World War 3 1996, the one he won on Smackdown in March of last year, the one he and Kofi co-won on Raw in 2011, the ECW vs. WWE Head to Head battle royal in 2006 and a battle royal he won on Nitro because this company doesn’t know how to do research, which could include things like looking online or, I don’t know, ASKING HIM IF HE’S EVER WON A BATTLE ROYAL.

Anyway, this was your old standard formula of having everyone brawl then have some people do a sequence to get eliminated. Mizdow got the big face turn against Miz, only to get thrown out by Big Show with ease. Yeah having Mizdow eliminate Big Show on his own would be a stretch, but having him win by eliminating Miz would have been a huge moment. Naturally we need Big Show to win his fourth battle royal because no one remembers the others. Oh and if you remember the story, he was the last man standing in the 2000 Royal Rumble but wasn’t declared the winner.

Aside from Big Show and Mizdow, the only story was Hideo Itami from NXT. He didn’t do much, but at least he was there and got to have a quick moment. It was probably better to have him in there instead of someone they’re ready to push like Balor. Itami is just a kicking machine at this point but he’s still decent enough for a spot like this. Not a fan of the match if you couldn’t tell by three paragraphs about a battle royal.

Aloe Blacc sang America the Beautiful. Four things: Aloe Blacc sounds like a lotion and is a far cry from Aretha Franklin or Gladys Knight. Also, why is it almost always America the Beautiful and almost never the Star Spangled Banner? Either is fine but I’ve always wondered that. Finally, I’m out of touch with modern music and I don’t seem to be missing anything.

The opening seven man ladder match was pretty much exactly what fans were expecting: a huge mess with almost no story to it and one big spot after another. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before and it probably would have been better to have five people instead of seven but for an opening match, this was solid. I would have put this on later and not had it so soon after the other mess of the Tag Team Title match, but there was nothing much to complain about here.

As for the people in the match, they did just about what they were supposed to do. R-Truth and Stardust were just there (though Barrett breaking Stardust’s glittery ladder was hilarious), Ziggler was the one that got close but couldn’t pull it off, Ambrose got put through a ladder for the big spot (which was actually really smart because it wrote him off the show later so he couldn’t stop the big ending), Barrett was fighting everyone, Harper was there for the power and that only leaves one guy.

Having Bryan win a title in the opening match was a good way to get the show off on the right foot. Aside from fighting for his fifth different title in five Wrestlemanias (US Title, World Heavyweight Title, Tag Team Titles, WWE World Heavyweight Title, Intercontinental Title), they had to throw the fans a bone to go from him having one of the coolest moments ever at Wrestlemania to opening the show the next year. Winning the Intercontinental Title is a step down, but at least it’s Bryan getting back into the swing of things. Good stuff here and a solid opener, though it probably could have been trimmed down.

Things slow down a bit with the first singles match of the night as Randy Orton beat Seth Rollins. This was kind of a surprising result for me but it also telegraphed what was going to happen later in the night, ala Edge back in 2006. The RKO at the end with Seth being launched through the air was good, though I’ll still take Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star into an RKO for the best ever. Either way, Orton can nail that thing from almost anywhere and it never stops looking great.

However, this opens up some problems: we’ve seen these guys fight a few times now and we’re supposed to pay to see them fight at Extreme Rules and potentially at a third show in May? The booking may be logical on paper, but I’m not sure it’s going to get people to watch week after week. It was a good match, but I really liked what Wade Keller said about Orton on Austin’s podcast this week: he’s so naturally talented and has been around so long that the expectations on him are very high. When he has a good match, it’s almost considered a disappointment because he can be so naturally good when he’s on his game.

Now we get to the match which is probably going to get the most controversy all night. This is where the great entrances began. First we had Sting coming out to a Japanese drum band, which was cool but kind of bizarre at the same time. I have no idea what kind of connection it’s supposed to be, but I guess WWE just wanted Sting to have his own entrance that was unique for their show. The problem with this was Sting is always a high energy guy and the slow drum stuff didn’t quite fit the top level show in the world.

Then HHH came out with an army of robots, in Terminator gear with Arnold Schwarzenegger himself doing a video introduction. It was at this point that you knew HHH was going to be the big star here and that this was really just a story with Sting involved instead of a story about Sting. The question here was what could Sting do after a few years off and all that time in TNA.

Amazingly enough he looked pretty solid. This was an old school style match with both guys working each other over and HHH working over the back to slow Sting down. This was a very nice change of pace after Orton and Rollins having the fast paced main event style and all the insanity that took place in the first three matches. It’s the style they should have gone with and it worked fine.

Then seven people interfered, completely ignored wrestling history, made old people look old, having Kevin Nash do what I think was the funniest bit of the night, and then ending it with a hammer to the face. In case you didn’t watch the show and are just reading this (for some strange reason), it was the Monday Night Wars all over again with DX running in first (with Sting DIVING OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL THREE OF THEM. Not bad at 56 years old) and then the NWO slowly hobbling in to counter them, all capped off by Shawn superkicking Sting.

Where do I even begin? Aside from the logical Shawn interference, this was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in years. First and foremost, Sting spent nearly two years fighting the NWO (or at least the Black and White) but now he’s going to fight with them for the Monday Night Wars? A battle where his partners are the biggest WWF guy ever to that point and two guys who were the definition of hired mercenaries in the war and are fighting against one of their best friends? That’s the best they’ve got?

It also caused us to see the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac on the same level as Hall, Nash and Hogan. Under no circumstances at any time in the history of professional wrestling does that hold up. Despite the fact that Billy Gunn is less than five years younger than Sting (no real connection to this, just find it kind of mind blowing), there is no way that these six guys are on the same level, even with Nash going down and holding his quad in a funny bit.

After all the insanity and ignoring continuity for the sake of the Monday Night Wars revival, Sting kicked out of the superkick (and out of the Pedigree earlier) and broke the sledgehammer, only to have the third Stinger Splash collide with the sledgehammer to give HHH the pin.

This is one of those moments where you sit at the screen, shake your head just a bit, then either sigh heavily or break a small appliance while screaming loudly. The fact that they brought Sting in and had him lose in his first match came off as one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve seen in years. It felt like they were closing the door on Sting, which is fine in theory, but they couldn’t close it on a victory? It was such a mess that it wouldn’t have been remotely clean so HHH doesn’t lose face and the fans get to cheer.

Instead, it was one last (and by last I mean not last whatsoever) thumb of the large nose at WCW, which was entirely what this feud was based on, even after Sting said how ridiculous that would be. They even had the factions come out for the match, despite WCW going out of business FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Is WWE really that insecure about a show on the air less than six years total that they have to dig it up and bury it one more time nearly fifteen years later? Apparently so, because that’s exactly what they did.

Oh but we’re not done. After the match, we got the big respect handshake. As I said in the original review: YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! This was supposed to be HHH saying he respected Sting after the battle. Keep this one in mind because we’ll be coming back to it later.

I know I complained about it a lot, but this was one of the big song and dance numbers that you can only get at Wrestlemania and I had a blast watching it. The run-ins were incredibly fun (illogical but fun) and Sting looked like he did back in the best of his TNA years, which was a pretty good time for him. I was impressed with what he did on a wrestling front and the match was more entertaining than it had any right to be. No it didn’t make sense and was a huge mess, but what else were you going to do with this match, especially with that ending?

Daniel Bryan celebrated with a bunch of former Intercontinental Champions for the Ron Simmons cameo. Jericho would have been a good addition here but what we got was fine.

Then we had a concert as all the NWO and DX guys try to figure out whose walker is whose. I still don’t like these things as they waste so much time to give us songs we’ve heard a million times coming into the show, but hey, at least WWE can say this is an ENTERTAINMENT show instead of silly old wrestling. You know, because a seven minute concert totally changes the opinion of the show right?

The not so serious portion of the show continued with the Divas tag match between AJ Lee/Paige and the Bella Twins in what wound up being AJ’s final match in WWE (for now). This match reenforced my issue with the Bellas all along: they’re just not very good. Yeah they’re watchable in the ring and have gotten WAY better in the last six to eight months, but there’s a very thick line between good and watchable. They’re combining to be the top of the division and that’s just not going to cut it for a long term run at the top. AJ made Nikki tap in a short match after spending a lot of time on the floor.

I tried to like this match and it was better than most Raw matches you would see, but it didn’t work as the big Wrestlemania match for them. The Bellas are good at getting heel heat and playing the stuck up better than you villains, but they simply cannot back it up in the ring. It’s like they’re following a tightly written script for the match and would be lost if anything went against that plan. That’s a sign of a sub-par worker and the Bellas fill that role like Nikki fills out those shorts.

In theory this was to set up AJ vs. Nikki for the title, but why couldn’t that be taking place at Wrestlemania? I complained about this leading up to the show and it still didn’t make sense here. Having this just be a tag match after a couple of title matches were used to set it up was totally backwards thinking and never held up. The wrestling was ok, but the Bellas are just killing this division every day they have the title. It’s like the life is being drained out of the division, much like HHH’s World Title reign in 2003: the matches aren’t bad but you roll your eyes when the title is retained and beg for ANYONE to give you a break.

The Hall of Fame did their thing. This was what it was and I always like seeing them out there and hearing the Fink’s voice. It felt faster this year, but there’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes out of a four hour card to let these people salute the crowd on the grand stage one more time.

Now we get to one of the bigger matches as Rusev defended the US Title against John Cena. In what might have been the entrance of the night, Rusev came out in a tank. I mean a full sized let’s go blow a hole in a building tank with Lana surrounded by Russian soldiers carrying the belt. I know Cena’s entrances are well known at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to have his hands full topping this.

Cena had a big speech with videos from American Presidents and shots of the military as we heard about how great this country is. Then Cena just walked to the ring as usual for a pretty anticlimactic ending. It was cool, but it needed something more than just Cena coming down the long aisle. I mean…..RUSEV WAS IN A TANK! Side note: the next night on Raw and then on Smackdown, the announcers started using The Russian Tank as a nickname for Rusev. I dig it.

The match….not so much. It was still good and an entertaining match with Cena finally breaking the Accolade and pinning Rusev to win the title, but it was just kind of there. I still liked it and Cena brought the goods (including a springboard Stunner, which should be someone’s finisher again minus the springboard) as he always does. This isn’t a loss where Rusev is never going to recover as every monster built up like him has to lose eventually.

It’s good and Rusev has already won his big match over Cena, but the ending hurt things. The story for this match had been built around submissions but Cena just sidestepped Rusev so he could hit Lana and nailed the AA for the pin. I mean….that’s it? It’s a good match and the ending had to be Cena winning (though imagine the promos Rusev could cut if he escaped with the belt), but the ending was a bit flat for me. At least this way they avoid the ultra repetitive YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

Now we get to the long time filler as the show had two matches to fill in about 80 minutes at this point. HHH and Stephanie came out to brag about owning the company, roughly an hour after HHH was all humble and shook Sting’s hand, making that whole thing even more stupid. I’m still kind of annoyed at that six days after the show.

Anyway, they talked about how they own the people and everyone here and you knew this was going to bring out the Rock. He did his long entrance and catchphrases, only to have Stephanie do her usual schtick as she ripped him apart and made him look like any given guy on the roster. She went one step too far though and slapped Rock in the face, so Rock bailed to the floor…..and walked over to Ronda Rousey.

Now THIS was a worthy use of a celebrity as Rousey is one of the biggest stars in sports right now (and ignore the fact that I have a thing for her) and fits this story perfectly. As you would expect, Stephanie ran her mouth and got her arm cranked. By cranked I mean slightly tugged on instead of being put in a full on armbar, but I’m assuming Ronda is only allowed to get so physical outside of UFC. That’s fine. Disappointing, but fine.

My guess is this sets up HHH vs. Rock with the girls as seconds, because even though Stephanie is a great talker, I don’t think anyone is going to buy her lasting more than five seconds against Rousey. Real trained fighters can barely break fifteen seconds against Rousey but we’re supposed to buy Stephanie as having the slightest bit of a chance against her? Because it’s in a wrestling ring? I’m not buying that, and this is assuming Rousey would ever be allowed to work a match in the first place. Rock vs. HHH is an established feud and seeing them go at it one more time would be fun.

It mostly worked, except for one problem: IT TOOK NEARLY HALF AN HOUR. This was one of the longest talking segments I’ve seen in a long time and a lot of it is due to Stephanie and Rock taking forever to get to the point. Now once Ronda was introduced it was fine as everyone was begging for her to, as Rock put it, reach down Stephanie’s throat and play jump rope with her Fallopian tubes”, but sweet goodness they could have cut five to ten minutes of this and done the exact same thing. But then we wouldn’t have been able to hear about Stephanie being Andre’s friend again, because…..why do we need to hear that anyway?

The segment ran long enough that we didn’t have time to recap Bray Wyatt and Undertaker starting small fires to set up their match. The interesting thing here was Bray wrenching his ankle very badly before the show and barely being able to walk. However, he gutted it out and managed to hold up his half of the match. That brought us to the big question: how was Undertaker going to do?

Actually quite well, as it really seems the concussion played a huge role in how bad the match against Lesnar was last year. Undertaker wasn’t at the HBK level, but he was more than fine for a match like this. He’s also grown some hair back to make him look like Biker Taker, which isn’t my favorite look but is miles better than the bald version, which just makes him look old. I don’t really need to see Undertaker again, but it was good to see that he still had something in the tank after last year’s mess.

I have to give a quick bit of praise to Bray’s entrance, which saw a bunch of scarecrows come to life as he walked past them, turning them into his henchmen. It makes no sense but looked awesome, which brings me to something I’ve been meaning to talk about recently. A criticism I’ve been hearing lately is that Bray’s promos don’t make a ton of sense. I want to tilt my head at these people and ask them what is wrong with their heads.

Look at Bray Wyatt. He’s a backwoods cult leader who worships a spirit named Sister Abigail, who told him that he would save the world one day. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you expect him to give a logical promo? The whole point of the character is that he sounds bizarre and only makes sense to those people crazy enough to follow him.

Undertaker talked about spirits, Ultimate Warrior talked about loading spaceships with rocket fuel and Hulk Hogan talked about dog paddling Donald Trump to safety when an earthquake caused New Jersey to fall into the ocean. Bray Wyatt’s promos are closer to Nick Bockwinkel’s than the work of a lot of people praised for their speaking abilities, but people complain that he doesn’t make sense.

Of course they don’t make sense and he’d be failing if they did. He looks and sounds mysterious and you’re supposed to wonder what he means. It makes just enough sense for you to follow it, but the details aren’t all there and that’s why they work. Yeah he gets repetitive at times, but criticizing him for not making sense is an unfair complaint.

All of that brings us to the big main event, which doesn’t have as much to talk about. It was basically Lesnar vs. Cena all over again with Lesnar destroying the challenger and shrugging off his best shots until he made a mistake and let Reigns stay in it, only to have Rollins cash in Money in the Bank and pin Reigns to win the title.

The match itself was fun, but they were running the risk of making Lesnar repetitive. Don’t get me wrong: it’s still entertaining to see him be all freaky strong (even though he has some thin legs, at least compared to how huge his upper body is), but they can only do this for so long before it loses some of its impact. I liked that they had Reigns making a comeback near the end and you weren’t quite sure if he could pull it off, but if they had him survive and win, I would have been scared to show up at Raw the next night. The booing would have been too much for that hair to handle.

Another point here is the blood, which did a lot of good for the match. It’s something you don’t need to see that often, but it’s good in spots like this one. Quick note here: there’s a video going around that allegedly shows the referee passing the blade to Reigns. That’s actually the referee checking on Reigns, who squeezes his hand to show he’s fine. It’s an old technique and not passing a blade.

Rollins cashing in was a good way to end things, but unfortunately it’s going to lead to some repetitive title matches for the next few months, unless they go with some triple threats. Rollins deserves the title though and that’s the important thing to get done. I certainly like the cash in and it kept them from having to pick from a short list of bad possible endings. It’s a great ending to a great show.

Yes this was a great show and I had an awesome time with the whole thing. I don’t know how well it holds up over time with the lack of a bad build and low expectations in the future, but as it stood it was an outstanding show without a really bad match on the card. There are some issues (Sting losing, time getting crunched because of the talking segment going long) but overall, this blew away my expectations and I had a lot of fun watching it. How long has it been since we had two great Wrestlemanias in a row? Seven years or so? However long it’s been, the answer is too long so it was great seeing another classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – April 2, 2015: So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen Wrestlemania

Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2015
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It was nice while it lasted but this is the final part of the big Wrestlemania week. Tonight is likely going to be the last major shows for now as Smackdown will go back to being the supplemental show it’s been for years. There isn’t much in the way of fallout tonight either as Raw ended without a huge bang. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and company for a chat. Rollins loves it when a plan works out, like when he cashed in Money in the Bank this past Sunday to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Now he’s living a new life and doing things like flying across the country to be on the Today Show, then flying back across the country to face Brock Lesnar. That gave him some serious jet lag though and it wasn’t time for Lesnar to get his rematch. If Lesnar hadn’t lost his head, maybe he could have had that title shot here tonight.

Cue Randy Orton, who says he remembers everything over the last few months. He played the Authority like a fiddle (a very stupid fiddle) before he got to rip Rollins’ head off with an RKO at Wrestlemania. More importantly though, he’s owed a rematch for the WWE from last year’s Wrestlemania and doesn’t like how that belt looks around Rollins’ waist. Seth wants to know why Randy is dwelling in the past, because he is the future.

Only Rollins gets to decide when the title is defended, which makes Orton insult the Stooges, Big Show and Kane for some reason. At least Big Show won at Wrestlemania while Kane wasn’t even there (he was in the battle royal). What does the Director of Operations do anyway? The way Orton sees it, Kane has gone from the big red monster to Big Red Riding Hood. Kane makes Orton vs. Big Show and offers Orton a potential title shot if he can win.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Orton quickly gets shouldered down but avoids an elbow drop. Show tries to get to the apron but winds up getting pulled into the elevated DDT. Cue the Stooges to break up an RKO attempt for the DQ at 1:19.

Everyone comes in but Randy fights back at Rollins, only to get chokeslammed by Kane. Ryback runs out for the save and it’s RKO’s all around.

We recap Bryan vs. Ziggler from Raw and Sheamus returning after the match. Who in the world thought that hair would be called anything but stupid? I mean, they had to know that reaction was coming right?

Sheamus vs. Bryan tonight, because they can’t keep the matches they set up on Monday straight for twenty four hours.

Natalya vs. Naomi

The Bellas are on commentary. Naomi’s inset interview says she can beat Nikki and win the title but she’ll prove herself until she gets a shot. Feeling out process to start with both girls missing dropkicks but nipping up at the same time. That’s rather impressive in Natalya’s full body outfit. Natalya puts her down for the step on the back into the basement dropkick for two as the Bellas question Naomi’s heart. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Naomi is sent to the apron for a kick to Natalya’s head. She puts Natalya in a headscissors but drives her head first into the mat instead of flipping her over for the pin at 2:20.

Rollins apologizes to Kane for the RKO but Kane likes the sound of Orton challenging for the title at Extreme Rules. Seth tries to talk him out of it but stops to comment on the smell of the office. He leaves and we hear a toilet flush and Ambrose walks in. Harper vs. Ambrose later tonight because of the use of a bathroom. Seriously.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns, who talks about how hard it was to step in the ring with the Beast. He proved he was willing to take a beating and showed he could get up after a bunch of suplexes. Reigns talks about Suplex City but he survived the wave from Lesnar. He’s thinking about buying a condo in Suplex City because Lesnar wasn’t ready for him. Brock didn’t have an answer for all the Superman Punches and they changed his appearance permanently.

The fight changed both of their lives and he’d love to do it again. Saxton asks about Rollins cashing in and Reigns says it crushed him. He was on top of the mountain and Rollins took it away when Reigns was so close. Thirty more seconds and a spear would have won him the World Title. He’s beaten Rollins before so he can, he has and he will beat him again. I liked this more than any other interview I’ve heard from Reigns in a long time as it makes him much easier to relate to now that he’s been humbled a bit. Good interview.

Miz vs. R-Truth

Truth raps to the ring. I don’t remember him doing that for the last few weeks. The first ten seconds are spent with Miz taking off his sunglasses and the second ten seconds are spent on WE WANT MIZDOW chants. Truth shoves Miz off a headlock and hits the Lie Detector. The ax kick misses though and the Skull Crushing Finale is good for the pin at 1:22. Welcome back to Jobber Town Truth.

Mizdow runs out for a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz and puts on the sunglasses.

Here’s John Cena to one of the loudest positive reactions I’ve seen for him in a long time (yeah I know it’s Smackdown). Cena talks about how hard Rusev fought to stay undefeated for a year but seeing Rusev as the US Champion made him sick. It wasn’t due to being Russian, but because of all the things Rusev said about America. The interesting thing is that Rusev was the American dream: he showed up and fought to became everything he wanted to be, but then he thought America sucked. “WELL AMERICA DOESN’T SUCK!”

From now on, this US Title represents opportunity. Cena says bring him your outcasts, your future stars or anyone that the Authority says is a B+ player. He’ll fight anyone from Brock Lesnar to the Bushwhackers (hey now, they’re Hall of Famers) because every Monday night, there’s going to be an open challenge for the US Title. Now THAT is the best news that has happened for the title in a long time.

Cue Rusev and Lana, the latter of whom sounds like she’s lost a bit of her accent. She says Cena is half the man Rusev is because this is Rusev’s world. Rusev cuts her off by reaching out his hand for the microphone. With a glare at Lana, he says he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania so he’s still America’s champion.

In Rusev’s world, people like Cena have opportunities as well: surrender the title or be crushed at Extreme Rules. Cena thinks Rusev is drunk but if the Russian wants a fight, Cena isn’t going anywhere. Rusev wants to wait for Extreme Rules and calls for the flag drop but nothing happens. Instead Cena points and the American flag drops. I’m kind of stunned it took that long to do that. Cena agrees to the match at Extreme Rules. The announcers keep pushing Rusev as the Russian Tank, which isn’t a bad name for him.

We look at Sheamus attacking Bryan again. The tag match is off due to Ziggler being too banged up to compete. And they didn’t know that when they announced the tag match?

Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose

No entrance for Harper. Dean goes right after him in the corner and a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A basement clothesline gets two so Harper just hits him in the throat to take over. It turns into a slugout (shocking I know) until Luke catches a cross body and throws him over the top as we take a break. Back with Dean’s suicide dive being caught so he nails a clothesline on the floor.

The top rope standing elbow gets two but Luke kicks his head off to take over again. Dean escapes the powerbomb and low bridges Harper to the floor. Luke quickly sends him into the timekeeper’s area and loads up the table but Dean dives off the apron with a clothesline. He can’t powerbomb Luke through the table though so Luke shows him how it’s done. The bell doesn’t ring but I’m assuming it was a DQ win for Dean (or a double countout) at about 8:00.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth brawl here with both guys hitting each other really hard. Harper is great in the old Kane role from about 2004 as the midcard monster and Ambrose is fine as the guy who keeps getting beaten up and coming back for more. If nothing else it’s nice to have a match be long enough to rate.

The Prime Time Players make fun of the New Day, with Titus spraying himself with water and shouting about FEELING THE POWER. Big E. sounds like he has a possum stuck in his throat, Kofi has a weird looking chest and Woods has bad hair. They do the New Day chant and crickets can be heard. If nothing else, I love the Prime Time Players shirts based on the old Prime Time Wrestling logo.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title. Sheamus has new music with a slower pace and no lyrics. After seeing the “I’m back” line for the third time tonight, the fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid. Sheamus encourages them and says he doesn’t see any real men around here. All the fan favorites are too vertically challenged and he’s going to crush all the underdogs. So he’s Batista from last year? Barrett is on commentary.

Sheamus shoves him into the corner to start and shrugs off Bryan’s kick to the ribs. Bryan has some more success with the leg but Sheamus drops him with a clothesline. As Sheamus fires off uppercuts, Barrett says he never lost the title and is owed a rematch. That makes Rock, Orton, Bryan, Rusev and Barrett who are owed automatic rematches. It’s almost like they’re completely overusing a plot device.

Bryan scores with some kicks to send Sheamus outside but he comes back in for an Irish Curse to send Bryan to the floor as well. We come back from a break with Sheamus loading up a suplex but flipping Bryan over instead of going down with him. You might remember that as the Crash Landing from the final month of WCW. Sheamus: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???”

Bryan tries some forearms to no avail and gets thrown hard into the corner. Some posing allows Bryan to get a breather though and he moonsaults over Sheamus before dropping him with the running clothesline. A backdrop sends Sheamus to the floor for the Flying Goat. The missile dropkick and it’s time for the YES Kicks. As usual the big one misses but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise.

Bryan sends him into the buckle and kicks the ropes to knock Sheamus back, only to get crotched on the top. The ten forearms are broken up as Bryan grabs Sheamus’ arm. Why did no one ever think of that before? Sheamus knocks him to the floor and onto the announcers’ table, busting Bryan open. Barrett hits a Bull Hammer behind the referee’s back for a countout at 15:33.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as I was expecting as Sheamus is still working the kinks out of his new character. He isn’t doing much besides big power moves, but at least he’s getting on the crowd’s nerves like he should be. Bryan was doing his usual stuff as well, but the match just never got going like you would expect it to.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was nice while it lasted but everything is back to normal in WWE. There wasn’t much to see here other than the announcement of a B level pay per view main event and another rematch from Wrestlemania. The show wasn’t terrible, but it really falls off a cliff after the hot shows earlier in the week.

Results

Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Naomi b. Natalya – Headscissors driver

Miz b. R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper powerbombed him through a table

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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John Cena To Issue Open Challenge For US Title Every Week

Mild spoiler from Smackdown but it’s not that big of a deal.  Now this is an interesting one.I REALLY like this idea as it’s exactly what the title has been missing.  Booking a title strong is really one of the most basic ideas in wrestling: make it look valuable.  Seriously that’s about it.  If Cena has a line of people waiting to challenge him for the title, it instantly becomes something of value and therefore better than it was before.  The matches are almost guaranteed to be entertaining and a pretty high quality with Cena out there as well.

 

The other major perk of this is it can elevate people by just having them rub elbows with Cena.  Remember when Sandow cashed in his briefcase and had the best match of his career?  Imagine that from Fandango, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Neville, Erick Rowan, Adam Rose, Titus O’Neal and I think you get the point.  Wrestling John Cena is instantly going to make people better, much like wrestling Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  No they aren’t likely to win, but it makes for an entertaining match and gives them a big rub.

 

I completely approve of this and the longer it lasts the better.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: February 2, 2015

The big idea coming into this week was HHH promising to shake up the WWE and end the controversy that ended the Royal Rumble. That led to the big question: what was the controversy? Reigns won the Rumble by eliminating Rusev and is going to Wrestlemania, but as usual the fans wanted Daniel Bryan. That’s the best theory we have coming into this show so let’s get to it.

The big announcement opened the show and I’ll give a very quick recap: Rock interfered in the Rumble before Rusev was gone so Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan will fight in the main event for the right to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rusev was never mentioned once in the promo. This led to Big Show vs. Roman Reigns with Big Show pinning Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in less than three minutes (with an assist from Rollins and the briefcase).

We’re now going to jump to something a bit different. A few hours after the show ended, I was talking to my fiance, who has been watching wrestling for over twenty years. I looked at her and explained the first thirty minutes of this show. Her face went from its usual smile to confusion, awe and bordering on shock. She didn’t know how to respond to anything I explained to her and eventually just said “what”. Not a question, but a statement. What.

That’s somewhere around where I am too. Read over what happened and explain to me how the decision makes sense. For those of you that have ever taken a logic class, the premises make sense but the conclusion doesn’t fit. Yes, there was some controversy to end the Rumble. Yes, Rusev might have a claim to an unfair loss. Yes, Daniel Bryan deserves a rematch for the World Title as he never lost the belt. Solution: Bryan vs. Rollins with Rusev not being a factor. THAT DOESN’T ADD UP!

Just…..it doesn’t make sense. If they haven’t set up Rusev vs. Cena already, you could set up Bryan vs. Rusev instead of Bryan vs. Rollins tonight and have Cena cost Rusev the match (by countout of course), giving you Bryan vs. Reigns and Cena vs. Rusev with logical stories instead of this mess. But instead, they rushed into the matches without enough thinking, meaning the whole thing is a mess that doesn’t make a ton of sense and leaves fans talking about the buildup instead of the end goal. Short version: slow down and think instead of just barreling into the matches without using some logic.

That brings us to Reigns vs. Big Show, which gives me a similar reaction. The more I think about it, the more I don’t hate the idea. Giving Reigns a loss is a good way to build some adversity for him and keep him from being just another Superman. As I’ve said before, Roman Reigns needs to be Roman Reigns, not a Samoan John Cena. Having him lose early is actually going to be a relief to him later on and also takes away some of the certainty of him winning at Wrestlemania.

But……..WHY WAS THE LOSS TO THE BIG SHOW??? Of all the people on the roster, they felt that he needed to be the first man to defeat Roman Reigns? There was no one, like say Seth Rollins, that would have gotten more out of such a win? I can’t believe WWE thinks this is a hot feud and it almost has to be just sticking it to the fans at this point. On top of that though, there is almost no logical reason for them to have fought again. Reigns pinned him clean on Smackdown, so why are they fighting again? Bad match, questionable at best booking, and a way to tick the fans off. As was said earlier, what.

Oh yeah other stuff happened on this show.

Curtis Axel has a new catchphrase: Don’t change the channel. As much as I like Axel and think his potential has been wasted, that line made me chuckle, which says a lot after the mess I’ve seen so far tonight. Anyway, he thinks he got ripped off at Wrestlemania and ate Dirty Deeds from Ambrose for his opinion. Dean wants the Intercontinental Title, which is as good as anything else he could get around this time.

Stardust and Goldust are having issues and lost to Ascension. People have been asking for this feud for like ever so why not now. Oh and Stardust doesn’t like being called Cody.

Cena came out to recap his feuds with Rusev and the Authority but Stephanie came out to make matches for the three guys that were fired for Survivor Series. I’ve said this far too many times now, but can we PLEASE move on past Survivor Series? That show was two and a half months ago and it’s still a major driver of stories. Can’t they come up with something fresh by this point? I’m over the idea of seeing these three guys being tortured because of one match that doesn’t mean anything, but WWE seems to think it’s the most interesting idea they’ve ever seen.

Ryback beat Luke Harper because Harper is a former Intercontinental Champion and therefore doesn’t get to have much success.

Cesaro beat Jimmy Uso because of something about a double date and because Cesaro and Kidd winning one match makes them the next challengers for the titles. With all that talent they have, there’s no room to bring people up? They can’t throw Itami and Balor together on the main roster like they’ve thrown them together in NXT? Get them onto the main roster and then let them go their separate ways after giving us a decent title program? No, instead it’s the same “well we won a match!” build that people have been complaining about for years now but WWE doesn’t seem to be able to correct.

Miz fired Mizdow and made him a personal assistant. It’s about time on this one as the stunt double thing stopped making sense about ten seconds after it started. Miz has basically been fighting a bunch of handicap matches while Mizdow hasn’t been allowed to contribute anything. It’s like hiring a chef but not letting them cook anything because you think you’re better in the kitchen. The whole thing never made sense and Mizdow is over for all the wrong reasons, which to be fair is better than not being over at all.

Wyatt beat Ziggler in a decent match, which seems to be the start of a rumored Ziggler heel turn. I’ve heard of worse ideas as he’s been abused by the Authority for months, so why not have him give up? I mean, we can’t have him get revenge on the Authority and make them look bad, because WWE is little more than an Authority vanity project when they’re involved.

While talking to the Authority, Rollins name dropped Randy Orton. That’s going to be an interesting return as it could open up a lot of doors in the main event scene.

Paige beat Alicia Fox and was attacked by the Bellas to further set up her title shot. The Bellas have just drained whatever energy this division had going for it. Yeah they’re better than they used to be and I’ll take this a million times over “and I’ve never told anyone about this”, but my goodness the Bellas just aren’t interesting.

Mizdow cost Miz his match against Sin Cara, which I don’t think surprised anyone.

Rusev beat up Rowan before their match and Accoladed him. The Russian flag messed up but the announcers actually covered it by saying Cena might have sabotaged it. It’s nice to see them tie a mistake into a bit of a storyline advancement.

Bryan came in to talk to Reigns and was basically told to get out before he was thrown out. This was the kind of emotion and aggression we haven’t seen from Reigns in a long time and it was a good sign for him.

Bryan beat Rollins with an unintentional assist from Reigns. It was probably the only way they could have gone and the match was the best thing that happened all night. There isn’t much else to say here as it was Bryan vs. Rollins for seventeen minutes. What more do you need to hear?

Overall this Raw felt like getting punched in the jaw to knock out a sore tooth. Yeah your problem is solved, but now you’re annoyed and sore instead of just in pain. I’m really not sure how this was the best option they could come to, but at least we’re getting Reigns in a major singles match before Wrestlemania. A win over Bryan could take away some of the heat on him, especially if it’s a clean win in a good match.

The first half hour of this show really drained me, but it’s not quite as bad looking back at it a week later. Still though, this is a really weird way to get where they needed to go and could have been handled a lot better if they had just stopped and thought for a minute. Again, why not just have Rusev vs. Bryan with Cena costing Rusev the match and set up the Rollins stuff later? It makes sense and keeps Rusev involved, which was the whole point of the controversy in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 2, 2015: Are They High Or Just Really Stupid?

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 2, 2015
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Tonight is a major night as HHH has promised to shake the company to its core and give us an end to the controversy at the Royal Rumble. What that controversy is isn’t really clear but hopefully he’ll give us an explanation tonight. Other than that we’re getting closer to Fast Lane and therefore closer to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH on Smackdown, promising tonight’s major announcement.

Opening sequence.

Here are Stephanie and HHH for the announcement as a lot of the midcard watches in the back. First up, they talk about the Super Bowl and Stephanie emphasizes that the Patriots won because it was best for business. I thought they won because they scored more points. HHH hopes they can survive the new “Cancel the NFL Movement” that struck after the end of the game last night.

HHH shows us the controversy to end the Rumble, which is Rock coming in to attack Big Show and Kane before Rusev was officially eliminated. After comparing the ending to the end of the Super Bowl (I assume when the fight started before the last kneel down), HHH says Rock coming in wasn’t ok. Rock is a huge Hollywood star but that doesn’t mean he can come back in just because he’s a name. Sting recently did the same thing, and it stops at Fast Lane.

That’s why HHH has called Sting out to come to the ring at Fast Lane to solve their problems. You can see that on the WWE Network for just $9.99, or free for new subscribers in February. That brings them back to the original problem: what would have happened if Rock hadn’t come out? Maybe Roman Reigns wouldn’t have won the Rumble, meaning his victory is tainted. They haven’t actually said Rusev’s name in this whole thing. Reigns comes out and says no one is taking away his win. Stephanie says she knows what it’s like to have a family legacy to live up to and says it shouldn’t stop him from going to Wrestlemania.

Cue Daniel Bryan in a new shirt to really wake the crowd up. He says the real controversy is him being stripped of the title and never getting a rematch. If the title match is open at Wrestlemania, he wants to officially throw his name in the hat. HHH sees the logic in that and could see Bryan getting the shot at Wrestlemania. This brings out a smiling Rollins and the Stooges as we take a break due to what seemed like microphone issues.

Back with Rollins asking Bryan if he really wants to face Lesnar for the title at Wrestlemania, because Lesnar would eat him alive. If anyone deserves the shot at Lesnar one on one, it’s Rollins because he broke Brock’s ribs. Reigns cuts him off with the threat of a punch to the face but HHH gets to the point: tonight it’s Bryan vs. Rollins and the winner gets to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the shot at Wrestlemania. Reigns eventually accepts the deal but is told to stay in the ring.

Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

This is joined in progress after a break because WWE has no idea what fans want to see. Reigns tries to fight out of a bearhug but gets headbutted out to the floor. Back in and Roman hits a middle rope clothesline to put Show down. He sends Show into the post but the Stooges break up a Superman Punch attempt, allowing Show to hit a bad spear for two. Reigns fights out of a chokeslam attempt and hits the Superman Punch, only to have Reigns hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase, allowing Big Show to chokeslam Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in WWE at 2:40 shown.

HHH and Stephanie are in the back and laugh about manipulating everyone into getting what they wanted. Next up: manipulate Austin on the podcast. So it’s going to be kayfabe. Freaking joy.

Here’s Curtis Axel for a chat. Axel: “Don’t turn the channel because I’ve got something to say!” JBL: “I was thinking about changing the channel.” He says he should be going to Wrestlemania because he got sucker punched before he could ever get in. Cue Dean Ambrose and it’s time for a fight. He easily throws Axel over the top and says no he’s eliminated.

Ambrose has some demands of his own. He trudged through the ice and snow to WWE Headquarters and saw a wall of former champions. He takes a nice mugshot so maybe he would look great on that wall. Recently he pinned Bad News Barrett so he’s in line for an Intercontinental Title shot because his face would look good on that wall. Get ready for the road to Fast Lane. Axel jumps him again and winds up taking Dirty Deeds.

Video on Ernie Ladd for Black History Month.

Ascension vs. Goldust/Stardust

Viktor runs over Stardust to start but Goldust sneaks in for some cheap shots before dragging his brother to the ropes for a tag. Off to Konnor who gets kicked in the side of the head but a quick Fall of Man ends Goldust at 1:48. Stardust disappeared after the first thirty seconds.

Stardust walks out on Goldust after the match.

After a break Goldust comes up to Stardust in the back and calls him Cody to make Stardust snap. He says never call him that again, hisses, and walks off.

Here’s Cena with something to say. The match with Rusev at Fast Lane is officially a US Title match. You can see the DQ finish from here. First up though is the Austin Podcast tonight where Austin can ask questions no one wants to ask, but HHH might just step around them all again. HHH has taken over NXT and rebranded it into a group of guys who are ready to come in here and take over. His vision is a WWE without John Cena, but HHH has to answer to sponsors and TV companies and that’s not the best idea.

The Authority tried to make him give up but that’s never going to happen. We see Sting coming out to help Cena beat the Authority two weeks back, meaning welcome back Rowan, Ziggler and Ryback. Well back to Raw that is as they’ve been back for about a week and a half already. Cena knows Rusev can be beaten but here’s Stephanie to cut them off. Ziggler cuts her off but she says those three haven’t fought any of their own battles. Tonight it’s Ziggler vs. Wyatt, Rowan vs. Rusev and Ryback vs. Harper.

Ryback vs. Luke Harper

They trade suplexes to start with Ryback hitting a nice delayed version. The middle rope splash gets one on Harper but Luke big boots him out to the floor to take over. Another boot to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock on Ryback. He fights back up and hits a Thesz Press, only to walk into the swinging Bossman Slam for two. The Meat Hook is countered with a third kick to the face for two more and Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Shell Shock is good for the pin on Harper at 6:00.

Rating: C. The match was a decent power showdown but my goodness this is their big idea? Having Harper get pinned here completely clean? I’m so glad he’s now being used to get someone over again because we’re somehow still dealing with fallout from Survivor Series. This show is getting harder and harder to sit through.

Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro

This is apparently over a double date Natalya set up for her and Kidd with Jimmy and Naomi. Well of course it is. Cesaro jumps him to start but Jimmy comes back with some chops to tak over. Jimmy whips him to the floor and a Jey distraction sets up a flying Uso to put Cesaro down.

Back in and we hit the chinlock on Jimmy, followed by the Cesaro Swing. A double stomp and tiger bomb get two on Jimmy but he comes back with some clotheslines. The superkick is countered and Jimmy is sent outside, but Kidd can’t get in any cheap shots. Back in and Jimmy superkicks him out of the air, setting up the Umaga attack. Kidd offers a distraction though and Cesaro uppercuts Jimmy out of the air for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: D. This show has completely drained me. We’re only halfway through the show and I already don’t care about anything else they’re going to air tonight. This was your standard way of setting up the Tag Team Title match because WWE only knows a few ways to set matches up nowadays and they used up their one interesting idea with Naomi, meaning it’s time for another year of the same rehashed ideas.

Kidd gets in a cheap shot on Jey after the match.

WWE Network plugs.

Mizdow is getting Miz food at catering when a guy comes up to ask for an autograph. Miz shrugs him off but the guy was asking Mizdow. Damien is happy to sign but Miz rips up the picture and erupts on Mizdow for getting too big of a head after all those months of Mizdow dressing up in costumes and losing all the time. Miz fires him but gives Mizdow a new job as personal assistant. Mizdow goes along with it but looks defeated.

Rowan comes in and thanks Cena for making him his own man. Tonight he’ll thank him by hurting Rusev.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over with a forearm to start and gets in a cheap shot as the referee tries to break it up. A Fameasser attempt sends Bray running to the floor and things slow down. Back in and Ziggler grabs the leg but eats a big uppercut for his efforts. The backsplash gets two and we hit the nerve hold. They’re just doing moves to each other at this point, likely due to the fact that there’s no reason for these two to be fighting. Some dropkicks have Bray in trouble but he snaps Ziggler ribs over the middle rope and suplexes him out to the floor.

We come back from a break with Bray putting on a chinlock to keep killing time. Ziggler fights up and sends Bray shoulder first into the post, only to dive into a right hand. The second backsplash misses though and Ziggler hits a running clothesline, followed by a neckbreaker to put Bray down. Bray takes his head off with a clothesline but Ziggler nails the running DDT for two more. Things speed up and Ziggler hits something like a running superkick to the ribs (it certainly wasn’t the jaw) for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser but Bray pops up and grabs Sister Abigail for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but they picked up after the break. Bray winning is the right move at this point, but it really didn’t need to be at Ziggler’s expense. As usual, they have no idea how to get through storylines without having guys they want to get over losing at some point. I’m all for Wyatt getting a stronger push though.

Rollins comes in to see the Authority and they tell him they’re giving him this match because they have faith in him. They bring up Orton for the sake of plot convenience and Seth promises to go to Fast Lane.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

The Bellas are on commentary so Paige goes over to scream at them. Back in and Fox gets two off a northern lights suplex before putting on a chinlock as the Bellas speak in hashtags. Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Paige small packages her for the pin at 2:44.

Brie covers Paige with tanning spray post match.

Miz is on Sirens this week.

Sin Cara vs. Miz

Mizdow stands at ringside instead of imitating Miz, drawing an even louder chant than usual. Miz’s early chinlock doesn’t get him anywhere as Cara hits some spring cross bodies. Cara goes up and Mizdow is worried, but Miz avoids the Swanton. Damien can’t help himself and teases going to the top, only to be yelled back to ringside. Back in and Miz gets two off a boot to the head and puts on a chinlock. Just have Mizdow cost him the match already. Cara fights up but gets put right back down, drawing Mizdow up to the apron. Miz yells at him but gets rolled up for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D. This was all storyline advancement and it could have been anyone in Sin Cara’s role. The show has already crippled my soul and I have no real interest in a lot of what’s going on here, but that’s almost the new norm around here. Miz and Mizdow splitting is a good thing, even though Miz has been doing a face’s work for months now.

Miz yells at Mizdow but Bray cuts them off. He says he’s been watching someone for a long time now and he’s the new face of fear. Bray can’t wait to see someone again. Find him. It shouldn’t be hard to do as it’s almost Wrestlemania season.

Erick Rowan vs. Rusev

Non-title. Rusev jumps Rowan before he gets in the ring and quickly posts him. He rips at Rowan’s face and bends him around the ropes and slapping on the Accolade. No match.

Lana invites us to a movie premiere since it’s Oscar season. This movie is reality instead of the usual happy fairytale ending that will show what happens to anyone who opposes Rusev. We get a Rusev highlight package of people being destroyed by the Russian before posing ensues. The Russian flag doesn’t come down properly and the Russians are livid. Thankfully the announcers say Cena had something to do with this, which is a nice save in case it’s not true.

Daniel Bryan comes into Reigns’ locker room and says he saw what Rollins did out there. He knows Roman wants revenge, but it’s not coming at Fast Lane. Reigns perceives this as a threat and tells Bryan to get out. Reigns felt a lot more heelish here.

Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner gets Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rollins runs him over with a shoulder to start but Daniel starts going after the arm. An armbar attempt sends Rollins bailing to the ropes before he throws Bryan outside. The Stooges get in some cheap shots and Seth dives on Bryan as we take a break. Back with Rollins in control and Big Show looking on from ringside.

Bryan fights back with right hands but gets caught in a quick downward spiral into the buckle. Daniel backflips over him out of the corner and hits the running clothesline before firing off the kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana is countered into a sunset flip for two for Rollins and both guys fight back to their feet. The Stooges try to interfere but Bryan throws Rollins out onto them and hits a big Flying Goat to take them all out.

Back in and Seth crotches him on the top to break up the flying headbutt but Bryan hooks a belly to back superplex for two. The running knee is countered into the Buckle Bomb and the low superkick gets two more. Rollins takes his time going after Bryan though and gets caught in the YES Lock but gets his feet on the bottom rope. Cue Reigns to spear Big Show. Mercury gets speared as well but Noble comes in with the briefcase, allowing Reigns to Superman Punch Rollins. The running knee sends Bryan to Fast Lane at 17:11.

Rating: B. Well that helped a lot. It doesn’t save this show or really come close to it, but the booking made sense and Bryan gets a big win. Now I give him almost no hope of winning the match against Reigns or getting into the main event of Wrestlemania, but it’s nice to see something like this happen to give the fans something to cheer for.

HHH says he’ll address this on the Podcast.

Back in the arena, Bryan thanks the fans for putting him here and promises to win the match at Fast Lane for them.

Overall Rating: D+. This show got a lot better near the end but that first hour was as bad of a stretch as I can remember in years. Reigns losing might seem like some big plan, but my goodness they’re overthinking these things. There was no real need to address this made up controversy, especially when Rusev wasn’t even a factor in the plans. Bryan is being shoehorned in to appease some fans and I’d give him about as much of a chance at main eventing Wrestlemania as I have.

The rest of the show was WAY too Authority heavy as this felt like another show from back in the pre-Survivor Series days. For some reason the Authority is still going after those three guys when the story has been dead (or at least should have been dead) for months now. I’m not sure what we’re getting at Wrestlemania and they’re making it a pretty boring way of finding out.

Results

Big Show b. Roman Reigns – Chokeslam

Ascension b. Goldust/Stardust – Fall of Man to Goldust

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Cesaro b. Jimmy Uso – European uppercut
Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Paige b. Alicia Fox – Small package

Sin Cara b. Miz – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Running knee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 15, 2015: I Can Hope Can’t I?

Smackdown
Date: January 15, 2015
Location: Baton Rouge River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

Smackdown is back on Thursday nights in its original time slot, which might mean WWE will put a fresh focus on it instead of just using it as a dumping ground for whatever they can’t fit on Raw. The big story tonight is Daniel Bryan’s return to the ring for the first time since his neck surgery in May. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan (with a fresh set of name graphics) for an in ring chat. Daniel says he should be in good spirits because he’s back home where he belongs, in front of these great people, wearing his gear and ready to fight. Saxton shows him a clip of Kane tombstoning Bryan on everything he could find and Bryan looks a bit shaken. He talks about being Kane’s partner and brother, but then Kane stabbed everyone in the back by trading in the mask for a suit.

Doctor after doctor has told him that he would never wrestle again but now he’s ready. Of course he’s worried about his neck but tonight he’s going to prove himself by fighting Kane, winning the Royal Rumble and then getting his title back at Wrestlemania. Now some people think that’s just a pipe dream, but YES he thinks he can do it. This brings out the Authority who actually doesn’t have anything to say before the match starts.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Bryan charges right at him to start but Kane takes him down with a single forearm to the back. They head to the corner where Bryan smartens up and goes after the knee. As usual though, Kane doesn’t seem interested in selling and takes Daniel down with a pair of neckbreakers. A cravate doesn’t last long so Kane kicks him in the head for two. I know I rip on Kane a lot but at least he’s smart enough to go after the obvious body part. A neck crank has Bryan in even more trouble but he’s able to kick Kane to the floor.

Kane is staggered up against the barricade but not staggered enough to let Bryan hit a flying knee from the apron as he punches Daniel out of the air. Back from a break with Kane holding a chinlock, followed by a running DDT for two. Off to the chinlock as the Authority plays cheerleader. For some reason the Noble seems like he would be very enthusiastic in that role. Kane loads up a superplex but gets shoved down and dropkicked for two. The kicks to the chest get the same but the Stooges come in to break up the YES Lock for the DQ at 11:41.

Rating: C-. If there isn’t something else later in the night, I’m sending WWE a bill for the injuries suffered from my eyes rolling that hard. There is no way WWE doesn’t let Bryan get a clean win in his big comeback match against Kane. Bryan looked fine but there’s only so much you can tell in a match that didn’t even get eight minutes of TV time. I did like Kane going after the neck and setting up the tombstone. It never ceases to amaze me when you have someone coming back off an injury and their opponent goes after a different body part. Even Shawn did that once when HHH had a bandaged leg.

Bryan fights back and finally runs away from the numbers advantage. The Authority stays after him but Reigns and Ambrose come out to stand next to them. HHH makes a six man with those three against Kane, Big Show and Rollins later tonight.

Randy Savage Hall of Fame video. I’m very worried about Hogan turning the induction speech into a way to talk about how great he was.

Bray Wyatt is not a human being but for thousands of years, society has labeled people like him a threat. At some point, his poison starts to seep out of the cracks. All those people over the years have been right, and it’s going to be too late to run after he wins the Royal Rumble.

Usos/Naomi vs. Damien Mizdow/Miz/Alicia Fox

Miz/Mizdow vs. Usos for the titles is official for the Rumble. Mizdow gets a huge ovation as he’s on the apron and watching Miz start with Jimmy. The brothers elbow Miz down for the double team elbow, followed by a nice suicide dive from Jey. Mizdow finally gets the tag but Fox tags herself in. That’s fine with Naomi, who goes off on Fox for taking her spot on Total Divas. Pay no attention to Naomi still being on the show of course. A cross body gets two on Fox and it’s already back to Miz vs. Jimmy.

The Reality Check is broken up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The ice cold tag brings in Jey for a Samoan drop, followed by a Whisper in the Wind. Fox makes the save, only to have Jimmy throw Naomi at her for a cool looking spot. Mizdow tries to come in but takes a superkick to the hands (clearly didn’t get close to his face). The distraction works though, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Jimmy at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Cool Naomi throwing spot aside, this feud is really getting dry. The Naomi Goes Hollywood part has been completely dropped, which you almost had to expect because it was actually interesting. That basically leaves Miz fighting the Usos in a handicap feud as we wait on Mizdow to finally break off on his own, even though they passed his peak about a month ago. At least the girls were there to keep this from being the champions losing in another non-title match.

Roman Reigns is with Renee Young (who has chopped off a lot of her hair) and says his partners would be in big trouble if this was the Royal Rumble. However, Dean is his boy and he has no issue with Bryan. On the other hand, he has a problem with the Authority and their giant crybaby Big Show. When it comes to the Royal Rumble, it’s one vs. all. Dean and Bryan are part of the all, and that leaves him as the one. This felt a lot more natural from Reigns and it worked better than his usual stuff. The lack of fairy tales or Looney Tunes lines helped too.

Here’s a ticked off Heyman with something to say. We look back at Rollins laying out Lesnar to end Raw and standing tall over the champion. Heyman says he’s afraid for the first time because there’s a threat to Lesnar. Brock has conquered everyone and everything because he can. When he beat up the Undertaker and broke the Streak or suplexed John Cena 16 times, it was all because he could and felt like doing it because he didn’t have anything else to do on a Sunday night.

Now his purpose is to F5 the future of the WWE back into the past, but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt. Seth is sick and tired of hearing about how awesome Brock Lesnar is and accusing him of hiding behind the Authority. He isn’t afraid of Brock Lesnar and is going to cash in right now. Let’s give the fans a treat for the show being back on Thursdays and have Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins right now….but Brock isn’t here.

Rollins isn’t cool with that and threatens to curb stomp Heyman if he can’t curb stomp Lesnar. Heyman tells Rollins to be original because everyone threatens to beat him up when Lesnar isn’t around. Seth is right in his face and says he’s going to curb stomp Heyman and take away Lesnar’s greatest asset. Then at the Royal Rumble, it’s Rollins vs. all brawn and no brains, leaving Brock as nothing more than a 300lb mass of muscle that he can run circles around.

The facts are that he’s curb stomped Lesnar twice now and he’s going to do it again at the Royal Rumble, so why shouldn’t he knock Heyman out right now? Paul says the Authority has been removed from power once so what makes Rollins think they can’t be removed again by hook, crook, or by Vince McMahon’s whims?

He’s gained power every single day since he returned to the WWE and been by Brock Lesnar’s side. Brock Lesnar has a death grip on the WWE Championship and he will control it as long as he likes. He can control that title by either defending the title or protecting the new champion when Heyman decides that the future is now. Paul drops the mic and leaves Rollins with a lot to think about.

This story has gone from another dull title match to one of the better stories around the title in a good while. Rollins is looking like a monster on equal footing with Lesnar and Cena in the span of a week. There’s always the chance that this is the annual Royal Rumble challenger who goes nowhere after, but I’m totally buying into Rollins as a main event player. After the year he’s had, there’s a real argument to be made for him to win the title and defend it at Wrestlemania. I’d love to see him stop being the Authority’s lap dog if nothing else.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title and Paige is here to counteract Brie. Natalya goes for the leg to start but gets taken down by a flying armbar of all things. She actually stays on the arm instead of yelling at the crowd but Natalya lifts Nikki into the air to break up a short arm scissors. Back up and Natalya steps onto Nikki’s back before to drive her face first into the mat, followed by a running dropkick to the face.

Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, accidentally allowing Paige to slap Nikki. I’m sure they’ll argue about it and then forget it a month later with no resolution. The Sharpshooter makes Nikki tap at 2:40. This would be their third match since December 29 now. Well that settles it. We MUST continue this feud at the Rumble. I for one couldn’t survive without the thrilling end to this saga.

Big Show cuts Renee off and brags about knocking out Cena and Reigns this past Monday. Tonight he’ll knock out all three but more importantly he’s entering the Royal Rumble. That’s where he dominates because no one can throw him over the top. Kane comes up and says he’s in the Rumble as well.

Intercontinental Title: Sin Cara vs. Bad News Barrett

Rematch after last week where Sin Cara beat Barrett in a non-title match. Cara gets two off a rollup just after the bell and hits an enziguri from the apron to stagger Bad News. Barrett has had enough of that though and hammers Cara down before whipping him hard into the corner for two.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Cara hits a springboard spinning cross body for two. The announcers actually bring up Barrett’s past troubles against Cara for some context. The Winds of Change lays Cara out but the Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup into a powerbomb. Cara misses the Swanton though and the Bull Hammer retains the title at 2:51. I’m so glad they had the champ get pinned clean to set up this epic showdown. To be fair though this was fun while it lasted.

The announcers plug the WWE Network launching in the UK, which went live a few days earlier than planned.

Dean Ambrose is in a dimly lit room and says he was the one you avoided on the playground. His report card always said he was disruptive in class, but that works really well for him in the Royal Rumble. The winner of the match isn’t going to care about friendships or their own well being. Don’t count him out, because you should be counting him in. His partners tonight have one big thing in common: they all detest the Authority.

Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Seth and Dean get things going with Ambrose slamming him face first into the buckle. He rips at Seth’s hair and stomps at the ribs before bringing in Reigns for a nice suplex. Roman starts working on the arm but lets Rollins go for a tag to Kane. Reigns throws the big bald around for a bit before tagging Bryan in for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. A big uppercut finally puts Bryan down but Ambrose is right there to stop the Stooges from getting involved.

Everything breaks down in a fight on the floor and the good guys stand tall in the ring (not as tall as Big Show and Kane but still tall) as we take a break. Back with Ambrose stomping Rollins in the corner and hitting his dropkick up against the ropes for two. Seth finally sends him into the corner and ties Dean in the Tree of Woe to work on the injured knee.

Off to Big Show for something like an ankle lock but pushing forward on the shin instead of the foot. Rollins gets two off a running forearm in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Again I wonder why you would do that when you should know it’s going to lead to a comeback. Back to Big Show as the Authority keeps things slow, hopefully leading to the hot tag to Bryan. I’ll settle for one to Reigns as long as we don’t hear another scripted promo.

Show hooks that same leg lock before Kane comes in and keeps up his good psychology by cranking on the knee. Seth comes back in and talks a lot of trash, earning him a slap in the face. The rebound clothesline finally puts Kane down but Rollins breaks up another tag. Dean sends him to the floor but everything breaks down on the floor. With everyone else fighting, Ambrose dives over for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel cleans house and hits the Flying Goat on Kane and a top rope hurricanrana for two on Seth.

Kane comes back in with a chokeslam for two with Reigns having to make the save. Show loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns jumps him to put both guys down. The YES Lock goes on Kane but Rollins makes a save. Dean’s standing elbow takes out Rollins and the Stooges on the floor, leaving Bryan to escape the tombstone and hit the running knee for the pin on Kane at 17:48.

Rating: B+. This got a lot better as things went on and the slow build worked well here. I’m really glad Bryan won in the end and thankfully they kept the focus off Reigns vs. Big Show. At the end of the day, there just isn’t enough interest in that feud to validate giving it the attention here. Ambrose selling a knee injury is a good way to keep him from 100% and makes the losses a bit easier to sit through. Really solid main event here though and a good main event for the first show back on the old night.

Post match HHH comes out and says Bryan’s luck is running out. Next week on Smackdown, Kane is getting a rematch against Bryan and if Kane wins, Daniel is out of the Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was good but there’s one thing I liked more than anything (well anything other than the main event): HHH making Kane vs. Bryan for next week. It’s not the biggest match in the world, but it’s a match being announced in advanced for Smackdown with a week’s notice. If you’re lucky you’ll get a match announced four days in advance, but this feels like a match for Smackdown, not a match that happens as a result of something on Raw. It’s like they’re treating Smackdown as a show that matters, even if it’s just a bit at first. That’s something this show has been lacking for years now.

The rest of the show felt like a regular episode, meaning the wrestling was good to decent and mostly skippable. The main event was really good though and worth seeing, but most important of all is how they put a match on this show that people would want to see and it was given the time to stand out. If this were on Raw, they would have had to squeeze it in around a twenty minute promo, the New Day and Adam Rose beating up the Bunny for the 19th time. Hopefully Smackdown gets some more attention and is able to take some of the pressure off Raw, which would help both shows and the TV product as a whole.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered

Miz/Damien Mizdow/Alicia Fox b. Usos/Naomi – Skull Crushing Finale to Jimmy

Natalya b. Nikki Bella – Sharpshooter

Bad News Barrett b. Sin Cara – Bull Hammer

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins – Running knee to Kane

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Smackdown – January 9, 2015: One More For The Road

Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2015
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the last show on Fridays as the show moves back to the original Thursday time slot next week. We’re coming off a pretty poorly received episode of Raw where the Authority reminded us that this is their company and we’re just lucky enough to be watching it. Nothing major has been announced for tonight but you can smell the big tag match from here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Cena bringing back the Authority from last week and the Authority’s path of rage this past Monday. They added Rollins to the Royal Rumble title match and destroyed Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback before firing them all to end the show. I’m sure they’ll be back for the Rumble. This took almost four minutes.

Here’s Seth Rollins to get things going. He’s feeling good after the look on Cena’s face at the end of Raw. It was so good that we need to take another look at it, but thankfully it’s just a still here. Rollins made Cena go back on his word and now the Authority is back. If that isn’t enough, Cena is responsible for three men getting fired (Rowan got the biggest reaction of those names, which makes me think some piping in is afoot).

On top of all that though, Cena is responsible for Rollins being in the main event of the Royal Rumble. Rollins isn’t a bad guy though. He asks the crowd for ten seconds of silence while the bell is rung in the memory of Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback. At about six bells, here’s Reigns to cut things off. Seth says it’s good to see you brother but Reigns says Rollins is full of it. That would be sufferin suckatash of course. Apparently there are a lot of Sylvester fans in the audience as a brief Roman Reigns chant starts up.

Roman gets right to it and nails Seth in the jaw to put him on the floor. This brings out Big Show and Kane with the latter making Big Show/Rollins vs. Reigns, unless Reigns can find a partner. However, anyone that agrees to be his partner is going to be going against the Authority. Fan: “SANDOW!” Big Show compares his fist to the Superman Punch and promises to knock out everyone that doesn’t like it. The fact is Roman is screwed.

That ends the segment and hopefully Reigns’ talking for the night. I like Reigns quite a bit, but the guy just isn’t ready to be on a live mic at this level. There’s no shame to this as there are a lot of guys who have been unable to talk (look back to Big Show’s early WCW days where he was clearly reading off cue cards) but none that are supposed to be the next top guy. It seems that he’s put the pressure on himself to take that spot and it’s not working. Reigns spent the first year or so of his WWE run just looking menacing and saying a few words. Now he’s supposed to talk people into the building? I don’t get WWE’s logic here.

Miz and Mizdow come in to see Kane. It must feel wonderful to have the Authority back in power, even though they canceled MizTV tonight. They really canceled an idea they came up with a day earlier? It amazes me how fast they have to change things around here. Anyway, Miz and Mizdow don’t like the idea of being in a three way tag tonight. Kane agrees, so Miz asks Mizdow for some water. The water goes on Kane instead, so the triple threat is back on.

Big E. vs. Adam Rose

Raw rematch, which really didn’t need to be thrown in on Monday to give the show a chance to breathe. Cesaro and Kidd are in Rose’s corner after laying out New Day on Raw. Rose takes him down and drops some knees for two before we’re in the chinlock less than a minute in. Big E. fights up with a belly to belly but stops to wipe off his sweat. That’s really his gimmick people. The Big Ending is countered and Rose hits a nice tornado DDT for two more. The Big Ending is good for the pin a few seconds later at 2:36.

Ascension vs. Mad-1/Spartan

Those are the only names I can find for Ascension’s meal tonight. JBL’s stance on Ascension this time: they’re 3-0 so far but that doesn’t make them the Road Warriors. That right there is all he needed to say on Raw without making the team sound worthless. Ascension brings up the Road Warriors again, saying they couldn’t carry their shoulder pads. As for the Powers of Pain, Ascension’s power would cause them pain. Konor kicks I think Mad-1 around the ring to start before Viktor clotheslines him on the floor. Back in and Fall of Man is good for the pin at 46 seconds.

The Usos think Monday’s firings are unfair but neither is putting them in a triple threat title defense. They’ll do what they do though and rise to the occasion to fight for their titles.

Alicia Fox vs. Naomi

This is due to Fox attacking Naomi on Monday after Fox replaced Naomi on Total Divas. Naomi dropkicks her at the bell and hits a running corner splash. Fox comes out of the corner with a sunset flip into a rollup and throws her feet on the ropes to pin Naomi at 1:16. I miss old school cheating like that.

HHH’s sitdown interview this week focused on those guys deserved to be fired. Cena begged them to go to war but eventually brought back the Authority as he needed to. That’s the kind of guy HHH wants to go to war with, at least until he changes sides and then he’ll be on him like a rabid dog.

We look at the ambulance match from Monday.

Bray says Ambrose is just like the rest of the people who tried to climb out of a jar. Fate is a pretty girl with a sword in her hand and she’s leading him to a new destination. In three weeks, Bray Wyatt will arrive at the Royal Rumble.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Jey and Miz get things going but Goldust tries to tag himself in early on. Miz shoves Jey down but they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for about four near falls each. We finally settle down to Miz being caught in a headlock with Jimmy coming in off the top to keep Miz in trouble. Miz makes a quick comeback but Stardust tags himself in. A big chop puts him in the corner though and it’s back to Jey for a headbutt. Goldust gets in a cheap shot from the apron (and quite the reaction) as Cole is oddly silent.

The Usos send the other brothers and Miz out to the floor (Mizdow is kind enough to do it himself) and the big dives take them down again. Stardust adds the Falling Star but Jimmy takes him out a second later. Jey gets crotched down coming back in and we take a break. Back with Jimmy enziguring Stardust but Miz tags himself in to get the two count. Mizdow tags himself in for the Reality Check and a nice nipup (Cole: “Well HBK does have a beard.”) but Goldust tags himself in to run Mizdow over.

A jawbreaker gets Mizdow out of a chinlock but Stardust keeps him in trouble. They’re fully in meandering mode here. It’s back to Goldust for another chinlock before Stardust kicks Miz off the apron. Mizdow gets loose but there’s no partner to tag, so he dives over to tag Jey instead. A release Samoan drop puts Stardust down but Goldust saves him from the running Umaga attack. Everything breaks down and the double superkick drops Goldust but Miz makes the save. Stardust low bridges his brother by mistake and Jimmy dives on him for good measure. Back in and the Superfly Splash to Goldust retains the titles at 16:27.

Rating: C. Well I’ve seen worse but it’s still not the most interesting match in the world. The Usos have basically cleaned out the division at this point (unless you count Cesaro and Kidd), leaving only the Ascension to fight them. That would be quite the way to make JBL think more of them, and based on his comment that the Usos are becoming the best team of this generation, I could see them going there. The match was nothing all that great though as it was getting sloppy and felt about three minutes longer than it needed to.

Here’s Bad News Barrett with the good news that he’s the new Intercontinental Champion. He invites Ziggler out here right now for a rematch before remembering that Ziggler is fired. Barrett officially enters the Royal Rumble and promises to win the title at Wrestlemania.

Sin Cara vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title and Eden calls this a match instead of a contest. Barrett hammers him down to start and we’re already in a chinlock. Cara fights up and hits a spinning springboard headbutt, only to walk into Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered into a rollup for two but Cara kicks him in the head, setting up a Swanton for the pin at 2:03. This has to be some kind of a bad running joke right? I often make jokes about how winning the title leads to a losing streak and that joke started with Barrett. Who thinks this is a good idea?

Barrett Bull Hammers him post match.

We get some exclusive comments from the three fired guys after Raw went off the air.

Ryback says he’s trained every day to have this job that he loves more than anything. Now the Authority is abusing its power and taken that away from him and it’s the worst feeling in the world.

Rowan says disappointment comes to mind.

Ziggler did everything he could at Survivor Series and now he’s lost everything.

Daniel Bryan is back in the ring next week.

Roman Reigns/??? vs. Seth Rollins/Big Show

Jobber entrance for Show and Rollins. Reigns has no partner at first but Dean Ambrose comes out to team with him. The look on Rollins’ face is similar to Vince when the glass shatters. The former Shield members clear the ring to start, leaving Seth to shout that Dean was taken away in an ambulance. After a meeting on the floor, it’s Rollins vs. Ambrose for the opening bell. Dean takes over to start and quickly brings in Reigns to throw Seth into the corner.

Big Show is shouting very loudly tonight and you can hear almost everything he’s saying, including “HE KNEED HIM IN THE FACE!” Show finally pulls Seth out to the floor to get him away from Ambrose as we take a break. Back with Big Show chopping Dean in the corner and kicking his leg out. Hopefully he doesn’t just copy Ryback and actually sells the injury. Rollins comes back in and steps on Dean’s hand before dropping an elbow on the leg. He takes too much time talking trash though and Dean hops from the good leg to nail Rollins in the face.

Seth is smart enough to go back to the knee though and Ambrose is still in trouble. The Stooges get in some cheap shots on the floor before Big Show just throws Dean around the ring. Dean won’t stay down though (even with Big Show telling him to stay down) and raises the good leg in the corner to stop a charge. A tornado DDT is enough to make the hot tag to Reigns as things speed up.

Roman plants Seth with a tilt-a-whirl slam and the Superman Punch takes out both Stooges at the same time. Reigns loads up the spear but walks into a chokeslam, only to have Dean dropkick Show down (with only the good leg connecting). The standing elbow drop puts the Stooges and Kane down, leaving Reigns to spear Rollins for the pin at 12:02.

Rating: C+. Dean Ambrose just stole the show by doing things exactly like he was supposed to. It’s so rare to see someone get injured and then just do their same offense before holding the injury a second later. Ambrose wrestled the second half of this match on one leg and I really liked the extra realism it brought. For a contrast, look at Ryback last week. Big Show injured his knee, but Ryback just did the same stuff, including all of his power moves, like the knee was fine. That sort of thing gets old in a hurry and seeing Dean do it the right way is so refreshing.

Overall Rating: C. This show really doesn’t mean anything as it’s the last show in the death slot of Friday prime time. I’m hoping the potential of a much larger audience on Thursday night makes Samckdown mean something again, because I’m getting tired of sitting through these shows where it’s just wasting two hours of my time. This episode wasn’t anything great but Ambrose looked good and the rest of the matches ranged from decent to too short to mean anything. In other words, this was the standard Friday episode of Smackdown: acceptable wrestling and nothing that matters.

Results

Big E. b. Adam Rose – Big Ending

Ascension b. Mad-1/Spartan – Fall of Man to Mad-1

Alicia Fox b. Naomi – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow and Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Goldust

Sin Cara b. Bad News Barrett – Swanton Bomb

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Spear to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: December 29, 2014

I needed some time to think about this one….and for the New Year but the former sounds better. This show ended the year and for once felt like something that was a much bigger deal than the last several weeks of shows. There’s a simple yet overarching theme for this show which has one major outlier, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

Guest GM’s Edge (wearing a Sami Zayn shirt, despite rumors that Zayn won’t be on the main roster until 2016) and Christian opened things up and instantly showed more energy than most of the roster combined. There’s a chemistry between them that few tag teams have ever had before. They made lame matches but Lesnar and Heyman came out to threaten the retired Canadians. Yes Christian, the guy that hasn’t been able to go six months without being injured and barely ever wrestles anymore is retired. Why did this surprise anyone?

Cena came out and tried an AA on Lesnar but Brock bailed. This was a bit shorter than most opening segments but felt rather pointless. Stuff like spending two or three minutes setting up the Cutting Edge Peep Show for later really could have been cut out and just announced later on. It feels like they’re just taking extra time because they can, and that makes for a very dull show. Also Lesnar really didn’t need to be here for this segment as he came out, looked menacing and then ran when Cena tried the AA. How many thousands did he make for that?

Ziggler beat Rusev in a non-title champion vs. champion match that had the same problem as so many matches recently: the ending was obvious from the second the match was announced. This makes for some very dull moments, as instead of getting into a match and wondering about the drama, you’re sitting there waiting for one of the guys to get counted out or disqualified. The match was good enough while it lasted, but I never got into any of the near falls.

Ryback made the save after the match and stayed in the ring after the match. He gave a long speech about the story of his career, focusing on his leg injury that kept him out for over a year and how he has his dream job now, but wants to make Rusev his next meal. In about five minutes, Ryback has established a better connection with the fans that Roman Reigns has established in all the months he’s been pushed.

He told us something about him that we may not have known and it’s given us a reason to care about him. Even if it’s something this simple, just talking to the fans for a minute instead of reading off some prepared statement that may or may not fit your character is going to do wonders for a lot of the guys. This wasn’t anything profound, but it did more for Ryback than anything else he’s done since he debuted. I’d really like to see more of this kind of thing from a lot of the wrestlers, especially if it means sacrificing some stupid comedy match or backstage segment that doesn’t avance anything.

Nikki beat Natalya in just over a minute, making her entire run of fighting the Bellas a huge waste of time.

The Usos took the Tag Team Titles back from Miz/Mizdow in a surprising ending. My guess is this sets up Mizdow’s face turn, but I really don’t know how far he’s going to go after that. It’s the difference between something someone is doing getting over and that someone getting over. Sandow is getting reactions right now for imitating Miz, but what happens when he can’t do that anymore?

Cesaro cut a Ravenesque promo talking about how the company says he doesn’t connect with the fans. He doesn’t care about connecting because all that matters is what he does inside this ring. That’s an important line because he actually said these four ropes, so Cole spent the entire match burying him for the slip up. Stuff like that is what drives me crazy about WWE anymore. It’s basically a bad comedy hour to get the announcers’ characters over and if they have to bury the talent and ignore the promos and matches in the process, that’s just fine.

Bad News Barrett returned to beat Cesaro, making the entire promo pointless anyway. If you didn’t know it was a waste already, just listen to Cole rip on Cesaro for a simple slip of the tongue. I’d LOVE to ask Vince why he’s ok with that kind of commentary.

Luke Harper cut another great promo in the shadows, calling himself a nightmare come to life. These things are like 15 seconds long each and are absolutely chilling. He then beat Jack Swagger in a match that was much better than I was expecting. It still wasn’t very good but it did its job very well.

Cena and Edge buried the hatchet to officially end their feud. Did anyone think it was still going? Apparently the writers did because this becomes something resembling a plot point later.

The long match of the night saw Roman Reigns beat Seth Rollins via DQ when Big Show interfered. I know a lot of people (myself included) haven’t been thrilled with Reigns as he’s scheduled to go to the top of the company, but no one can make a long feud with Big Show seem interesting. But again, he’s a guy in his 40s who has been around forever and that makes him exactly the same as Shawn, Undertaker or HHH right?

Bray Wyatt said his usual stuff about the ambulance match with Ambrose next week. This is being billed as the end of their feud.

Daniel Bryan came out, teased the audience for a bit, and announced that he was going to continue his career and enter the 2015 Royal Rumble. This is GREAT news and not just from a wrestling perspective. The guy has worked so hard over the years and finally saw it pay off, only to almost have it all take away. He deserves this chance and I hope he’s around for years to come. I smiled a lot when he said he’s coming back and I’m sure a lot of other people did too.

Ascension debuted and squashed Miz/Mizdow. This was called a waste of time by some fans, but what else would you like them to do here?

The big ending to the show was the Cutting Edge Peep Show with guest Seth Rollins. Seth also brought out the Big Show before nailing Christian and putting Edge’s head on the briefcase. He threatened to break Edge’s neck unless Cena brought back the Authority, and that’s where we need to stop for a little chat.

There are two ways of looking at this and thankful one is a bigger deal than the other. First of all, Seth Rollins looks like the epitome of EVIL here as he’s threatening to cripple a husband and father for the sake of bringing back the Authority. This is how a heel is supposed to do things. Not with lawyers or winning because of a distraction, but by threatening to do horrible things to someone who can’t defend himself. I loved that part and it made Rollins feel like a top heel.

The downside is he’s basically doing all this so his big buddies can come back because he can’t handle life without them around. Rollins goes from pure evil to a lapdog for the Authority because WE MUST PRAISE THE AUTHORITY EVERY CHANCE WE GET OR THEY MIGHT BE SAD AND DESTROY THE UNIVERSE! It gets very tiresome hearing Rollins, who has had the best 2014 of anyone, whine because the Authority is gone. It’s ok to have someone get over without them, but WWE doesn’t seem to see things that way.

Anyway, Cena allowed the Authority to come back but Rollins tried to cripple Edge anyway. That’s more of that “pure evil” thing I was talking about. I even said to myself that if he’s a real villain, he’ll hurt Edge anyway, and that’s exactly what he tried to do. The numbers beat Cena down though and Lesnar and Heyman came out to celebrate….and so did the Authority. Well of course they’re here, just in case Rollins had some master plan to bring them back and Cena just happened to make up with Edge and wanted to save him.

So yeah the Authority is back, four weeks after we last saw them. I knew they were coming back at some point, but I really don’t see the need for it to be this soon. Couldn’t they have done this after the Rumble, giving them two months to prepare for Wrestlemania? Having them be in the back ruined whatever suspension of disbelief I can have in wrestling and it really got on my nerves. They’re back though, and I’m sure dozens of people somewhere are thrilled by it.

Overall, I actually liked this show quite a bit for one simple reason: stuff actually happened. Instead of just rehashing the same Survivor Series matches over and over, we actually got some fresh stories and promo time from the wrestlers to let them build up their characters. The ending was annoying but at least it’s going to get us onto the Road to Wrestlemania. Give us more of the talking and character development and less of the repeats and we’ll be in a much better place. Well that and cut out the extra hour but that goes without saying.

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Monday Night Raw – December 29, 2014: Keep Them Apart

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 29, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show of the year and WWE has managed to double book the show. There’s a house show in Virginia tonight, meaning a lot of the roster is going to be there instead of here for Raw. We do however have Cena and Lesnar guaranteed and the potential debut of the Ascension to keep us until the full roster is back to start the new year. Also in some breaking news, Daniel Bryan has a major announcement which could mean his retirement. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Edge’s retirement a little less than four years ago. That was such a shocking moment and actually got to me a little bit. He and Christian are hosting tonight, which should be a lot of fun if they just let those two have fun.

Here are Edge and Christian to open things up. Chimmel (before doing the voice cracking deal) lists off their resumes and it’s hilarious to hear how much more Edge accomplished as a singles guy. Christian thinks we should have this show E&C style, which Edge, who appears to be wearing a Sami Zayn shirt, likes. That means we should have a special edition of the Peep Show, which Edge doesn’t like. Why not have it be the Cutting Edge instead of something that sounds like a perverted idea from the 1920s? Instead it’s going to be a Cutting Edge Peep Show with special guest Seth Rollins.

The fans aren’t thrilled, so Edge makes Rollins vs. Reigns to make them feel better. It’s Christian’s turn now as he makes Rusev vs. Ziggler in a Champion vs. Champion match……and they’ll both be completely sans clothing? Christian: “Maybe just Lana then?” He tries to get the fans back by asking if the fans would like to see Daniel Bryan and I’ll let you guess the reaction. We’ll wrap it up with a five second pose, but here’s Brock Lesnar instead. Of note here, Lawler says that both Edge AND Christian are retired, which I believe is the first official confirmation for Christian.

Heyman says both guys are too damaged to be in the same ring with someone like Lesnar, so Brock won’t hurt either of them. Instead, Heyman thinks Lesnar wants to “penetrate the virgin neck” of John Cena. Cue Cena as the Canadians kind of hide in the corner. Cena isn’t going to knock Lesnar into 2015 so he doesn’t have an excuse at the Rumble. He does have a new year’s resolution to take that title off him at the Rumble. Cena grabs Heyman by the throat but throws a charging Lesnar up for the AA, only for the champ to bail to the floor.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev

Non-title. Ziggler gets in a few cheap shots to start but Rusev nails him in the face to take over. This time the announcers talk about how no one has beaten Rusev, but don’t suggest Ziggler could be the one to beat him. Instead they’re too busy getting in Ziggler buzzwords like “stealing the show”, because getting in buzzwords and catchphrases has replaced the idea of actually calling a match. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the swinging DDT as we head to a break.

Back with Rusev in control and putting on a side choke instead of having one on already. We get a full screen replay of Ziggler getting catapulted into the corner from the App, which isn’t the worst idea during a chinlock. Dolph fights up and tries a high cross body, only to get caught in the fall away slam. Ziggler escapes that as well and nails a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down. He tries something like the Stinger Splash (which may or may not be a tribute) but has to settle for ducking the superkick and nailing the Fameasser.

It might have injured his knee though, allowing Rusev to throw him by the leg into the corner for a smart move. What isn’t a smart move though is trying a splash when Ziggler is down in the corner. Moves like that just get on my nerves because there is no logical reason to try something like that. A kick (clearly missing) to the knee has Ziggler in trouble and Rusev stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 10:10.

Rating: C. The match was decent enough and the ending was the most logical, as at least Ziggler didn’t get destroyed and then win at the end. I’m still not feeling Ziggler on this massive push that some see, but at least he isn’t jobbing clean on free TV anymore. I’m also glad that they didn’t make this title for title as that would have made the ending even more obvious than what we had here. Ziggler could use a feud too.

Rusev puts Ziggler in the Accolade in the ropes (doesn’t really add anything) until Ryback makes the save.

Time to insult fans who are still buying the pay per views, because telling someone they’re an idiot for giving you $55 is certainly going to make them want to pay you $10 a month right?

Ryback is still in the ring after a break and he has something to say. Ever since he debuted in the WWE as Ryback (his words), there are a lot of things about him that you don’t know about him. He was a guest bell ringer at his first WWE show when he was twelve years old. Then ten years ago he got his start on Tough Enough as the Silverback. We get a clip of Ryback, then known as Ryan Reeves, being eliminated.

After that, he lost his dream job and fell into a deep depression. He didn’t talk to his family for over a year and got a job at some barbecue joint in Louisville, Kentucky with only a stack of Wrestlemania DVDs to get him through his time. Then he read a book called the Secret on being positive. It changed his life and shortly thereafter he got rehired by WWE, leading to him making his redebut as part of the Nexus. We see a clip of the awesome Nexus beatdown that introduced us to the Meat Hook.

Then he broke his ankle and leg in three places in a match in Hawaii and missed a long, long time. This led to the debut of the Ryback character, which leads us to a package on Ryback’s domination. Now he’s here, which brings Ryback to Rusev. This isn’t about the USA vs. Russia. It’s about one big guy beating up another big guy, because Ryback likes to eat big negative people. Then he looks at someone like Rusev and says FEED ME MORE.

Did I mention that half the roster isn’t here tonight and they need to fill in time? I’ll give them this though: I’d much rather have a reason to care about someone like Ryback than some lame comedy match or a bunch of chinlocks. This was a far better use of time than I was expecting so at least it could have been worse.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

The idea here was that Tyson was wearing a Nikki Bella hat last week and Natalya isn’t happy. To continue the annoying run of commentary buzzwords and terms, Cole says a win here could put Natalya in the title hunt. WELL WHAT ELSE HAS SHE BEEN IN FOR WEEKS NOW??? Not that it matters as Natayla kicks Nikki off the apron and into Tyson’s arms, only to have the distraction let Nikki hit the Rack Attack for the pin at 1:05. So much for Natalya’s push. Cole: “Let’s see how things play out on Total Divas this Sunday!”

Naomi comes up to hug Miz in the back, because the producers want to meet with her. She even wishes him luck in the title defense against the Usos.

John Cena came in seventh in some celebrity charity deal that no one has heard of nor cares about.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

This is the TLC rematch due to Miz using the Slammy Award for the DQ. The best thing of this match: JBL dubs Mizdow’s small titles the Subtitles. The Usos aren’t in shirts for a change. Miz hides from Jimmy in the corner to start and of course the fans want Mizdow. They feel each other out a bit until Jimmy sends Miz into the corner for a nice running splash. Off to Jey who eats a chinlock as the announcers, I kid you not, actually talk about the match. Jey goes into slow motion for an uppercut to Miz’s jaw before slapping on an armbar.

An even slower double atomic drop have Miz in trouble but Mizdow comes in to do the same motions. He’s dedicated if nothing else. Both champions go to the floor and the Usos aren’t sure what to think. Jimmy loads up the dive but gets snapped across the top, setting up Miz’s big boot for two. Back from a break with Miz in control on Jey but not willing to tag Mizdow. Jey misses an enziguri but makes the hot tag just seconds later. Now the big dive connects but Jimmy comes up favoring his arm or wrist. I always worry about things like that on those dives.

It doesn’t seem bad, but Miz nails the low DDT for two. Jey and Mizdow are nowhere to be seen and both guys are down. We see Mizdow down on the floor, but for once he isn’t mimicking Miz. There’s the Figure Four on Jimmy but he finally makes the rope. Still no sign of Jey. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise but Mizdow comes in for the save.

It’s Mizdow eating a superkick but Miz grabs a rollup for two. The superkick drops Miz but the Superfly Splash hits Miz’s knees. The Skull Crushing Finale plants Jey for…..two? That’s not a move you see kicked out of that often. Think about it for a second. Almost no one kicks out of that. The hot tag brings in Jimmy for another superkick and a mostly missed double superkick sets up Jimmy’s Superfly Splash to give us new champions at 13:06.

Rating: B-. Well that happened and I’m actually surprised for once. That sequence with the Finale had me checking the match time and my head actually snapping to the side when the three didn’t go down. The sloppiness on the moves at the end brought things down a bit, but this was a genuine surprise and that’s a very nice thing to have on this incredibly predictable show for a change.

Naomi comes out to celebrate and the Usos say they’re going to have a big party with JR’s barbecue and champagne. Jimmy says they played Miz to get where they are here and nothing major happens. Cool surprise here and I’d assume it sets up Usos vs. Ascension.

The announcers hype up Bryan’s announcement and imply he’s retiring.

Video on Shield splitting and the beginnings of Reigns vs. Rollins to set up their match tonight.

Cesaro is in the corner ala Raven for his match but has a mic because he has a few things to get off his chest. 2014 should have been his year. He won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, but now WWE is telling him that he doesn’t connect. That’s true, because he delivers instead of connect. And who does he not connect with? The WWE Universe? He doesn’t care about connecting with them, because he doesn’t care about anything except what happens in this ring. No one in WWE can hold a candle to him inside this ring, and if anyone back there doubts him, come out here and make his day.

Cesaro vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett: “It’s me it’s me it’s BNB!” He has some bad news for Cesaro: Cesaro may not care about caring with the fans, but this Bull Hammer is connecting with his head. Cesaro nails him in the face to start and stomps Barrett down in the corner. Barrett looks leaner here and seems to be playing to the crowd like a face for the first time. He knocks Cesaro to the floor but gets dropped face first onto the barricade.

Back in and a very nice top rope ax handle drops Barrett, but the announcers are of course ripping on Cesaro for slipping up and saying no one can touch him inside “these four ropes”. You know, because…..well you get the idea by now. Cesaro hits a great looking German suplex but Barrett kicks him in the side of the head for two. The pumphandle slam is countered into the Cesaro Swing but he pops up with the Bull Hammer for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: C. Well so much for Cesaro’s awesome heel promo. I’m sure there was NO ONE else to have out there for a chat before jobbing to Barrett right? As usual it’s like WWE has no idea how to set up something other than by having someone lose. Not that it matters of course as the commentators CAN’T FREAKING SHUT UP with their stupid jokes and jabs because Heaven forbid someone say one thing wrong. Keep in mind that this is MICHAEL COLE mocking people for slipping up on lines and you’ll see why this is so stupid.

Harper is in the dark again and says people like him are thrown aside like trash. He is a product of our environment and a nightmare come to life. Sweet dreams.

Jack Swagger vs. Luke Harper

Harper knocks him into the corner to start and cranks on Jack’s head a bit. A nice dropkick gets two and we hit the Gator Roll. Jack is able to take it outside though and nails a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock and kicking Jack hard enough that JBL stops mocking Cole and calls the match. We hit another chinlock as the filler for this show continues.

Swagger fights up and hits the usual to set up the Patriot Lock. You know Luke isn’t tapping to that though so it’s a superkick for two. Harper touches the sides of his own head like he’s hearing voices for a bizarre bit that totally fits him. The Patriot Lock gets the same result but the Vader Bomb hits knees. Harper’s discus lariat (JBL: “Clothesline From Smell!”) is enough for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C-. This is exactly the kind of thing I’d like to see more often: two guys have a match, one guy wins with his finisher, no interference etc. Harper got a win over a guy that means something (work with me here) and does it without Wyatt or any help. This raises his stock and reenforces Swagger’s status as a jobber to the stars. It wasn’t a great match or anything, but it just needed to be Harper getting a win and that’s what we got.

We recap the opening segment.

Cena is talking about the old times in the back with Edge and Christian until Christian brings up the time Edge beat up Cena’s dad. He leaves before death ensues and Cena and Edge have a nice feel good moment to I guess officially bury the hatchet. Wasn’t that buried liked five years ago?

Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns

Big Show is on commentary. Rollins is tentative to start and gets shoved out to the floor for his efforts. They seem to be treating this like a big deal, which is exactly what they should be doing. These guys are going to be the future of the company and a showdown should matter. Back in and Roman goes after the arm for some psychology, including a ram into the buckle.

Big Show says Rollins is the future and should be the Superstar of the Year. For once I actually agree with him. Reigns runs into a boot in the corner and they head outside for a change. It’s Rollins sending him into the corner and we hit the chinlock back inside. Show isn’t exactly being impartial on commentary but he’s actually entertaining by just cheering for Rollins.

Roman fights up and hits a nice powerbomb to send Rollins outside yet again. That goes nowhere so Reigns puts him in the ropes for the Apron Kick. That’s still a cool looking spot, but a distraction by the Stooges lets Rollins knock him into the barricade as we take a break. Back with, of course, Reigns in a chinlock. Seth starts changing strategy by kicking the knee out dropkicking Reigns for two. That ends our interesting idea phase as it’s back to the chinlock. Reigns fights up again but we hit chinlock #3 in about two minutes. No following up on the leg kick or anything. Just another chinlock.

The hold is escaped again but Rollins downward spirals him down into the buckle, only to eat a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. A belly to back slam gets the same as Big Show is still playing cheerleader. Rollins pops back up with an enziguri and low superkick for two as both guys are down again. This match really doesn’t have the energy that it should, but the fans haven’t been all that interested in most of the stuff they’ve seen all night. The Curb Stomp misses and Roman sidesteps the springboard knee, setting up the Superman Punch. Not that it matters as Big Show comes in for the DQ at 16:20.

Rating: C. If this is supposed to be their next big guy, they’ve got a major problem. Reigns isn’t the worst guy in the world by any stretch, but he’s just not the guy you want as the top guy right now. There’s nothing wrong with not being ready, but there is something very bad about pushing him as the next top guy when he isn’t ready. It’s crippled people before and it could ruin a lot of things for Reigns. On a side note, at least Rollins didn’t get pinned. They’ve been doing a somewhat better job of not giving bigger names meaningless losses lately.

Big Show throws Reigns over the announcers’ table and shoves all the equipment on top of him. Cole makes a big point of Reigns’ leg being crushed so this might be an injury angle.

Post break, Rollins promises to offer a New Year’s toast to John Cena on the Cutting Edge Peep Show.

We recap Wyatt vs. Ambrose, who will be having an ambulance match next week.

Bray Wyatt, sitting in the back of an ambulance, says everything must come full circle, like an ambulance taking you to a place where life begins an ends. It all ends next week but Dean died long ago. Bray and Bray alone has his soul. He closes the doors and the ambulance drives away.

Here’s Bryan, who JBL declares as being back despite not being gone more than a few weeks at most. Daniel says it’s an honor to be in this ring every single time. Who would have thought that a small kid from Aberdeen, Washington who was labeled a B+ player could have main evented Wrestlemania? No one, except for the fans. Thanks to the people, he beat HHH, Randy Orton and Batista in one night in front of 75,000 people. Five days later, he married the woman of his dreams to complete the greatest week of his life.

Then everything changed. Two days after their honeymoon ended, his dad died. Bryan was here wrestling that night and wasn’t there for his dad. Then a few weeks later, he had a career changing neck injury, and all he could do was sit at home on his couch and watch. All he wanted to do was be here in front of these people competing because it’s all that can take the pain away. He’s starting to cry as he says this.

No one cheered louder than he did when Ziggler got rid of the Authority. It was a great moment but it hurt because he couldn’t be there in the ring. He talked to everyone including Edge, who knows a thing or two about career ending injuries. You reach a point where you have to think about making a decision. He isn’t sure if all of this is worth it or not.

The fans all say NO, but Bryan wanted to make this announcement in front of all of the people. Is his career over? NO. That is not his announcement, because he is ready to fight and compete. His announcement: he will be in the 2015 Royal Rumble! Now THAT woke the crowd up.

Edge and Christian are playing the kazoos when Miz and Mizdow come up. Christian says Miz needs a Tic Tac and Edge has a puppet for a stunt double. They’ll be getting a rematch tonight…..but not for the title and not against the Usos. Mizdow is watching the puppet.

Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Ascension

We already open with a gaffe, as the Ascension’s combined weight is listed as 480lbs but Cole says Konnor weighs 290 and Viktor 240. Miz immediately hides on the floor, leaving Mizdow to take a big power beating. The Fall of Man (high/low with a running back elbow from Viktor) is enough for the pin at 1:10. This worked.

Rollins would like Lesnar to join he and Cena in the ring next.

It’s time for the first ever Cutting Edge Peep Show with special guest the Walking Pile of Suck (Christian came up with that one) Seth Rollins. The Stooges come out carrying champagne and are dubbed the Geek Squad by the Canadians. Rollins says Edge and Christian pioneered a generation and he might not be here without then. Edge and Christian see this as condescending, but Rollins goes on to talk about what a great year he had.

He ended the Shield, won Money in the Bank, should have been named Superstar of the Year, and has become the future of WWE. Who else has had a better year? “Cena?” “Daniel Bryan?” “Sting?” Edge: “The Doctor of Style Slick?” Christian: “He was a jive soul bro who always lied to his friends.” Rollins, somewhat bewildered by the reference, says he wants to start a new year. The old Seth Rollins is dead and it’s going to be a new version next year.

First of all, Rollins would like Big Show to come out here. Show comes out applauding Rollins, but Rollins gets nothing when he requests Cena. Edge thinks it’s due to Rollins’ lack of charisma. Apparently Rollins wouldn’t have charisma if he had a live sex celebration right here with Big Show. Seth still wants Cena out here and nails Christian with the briefcase. Edge gets in his face but is surrounded and injured.

The villains put Edge’s head onto the briefcase until Cena runs down to ringside. Rollins stops him at ringside and says Cena knows what Seth wants. The announcers point out that Rollins wants the Authority back as Seth says Edge is a husband and father. If Cena wants Edge to be with his wife and play with his kid, Cena better give Rollins what he wants. Let’s find out if Cena is Mr. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect. Bring the Authority back or Edge gets paralyzed.

Cena finally says ok but Rollins makes Noble go to him with a mic to make sure it’s clear. John confirms that the Authority is back but Rollins loads up the Curb Stomp anyway. Cena comes in for the save but the numbers are too high. The Curb Stomp lays out Cena as Big Show tries to start an Authority chant. Lesnar and Heyman come out as Rollins and Big Show celebrate. Heyman shakes Rollins’ hand and the Authority just happens to be here to celebrate. They were there the night after Survivor Series, so they weren’t even gone five weeks. JBL is thrilled to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They should keep the roster split more often because this show was FAR more entertaining than most of the previous months. The show had a chance to breathe and a lot more stuff happened as a result. In other words, stuff had a chance to make an impact instead of jumping to something else over and over again. The worst part of the packed shows is they have to get in all the comedy/filler stuff instead of letting the important things take their time.

The wrestling wasn’t great tonight, but it felt like the show was in gear again. Between Ryback getting to talk (and not doing badly), Ascension’s debut and Bryan’s announcement, it felt like new stuff happened tonight instead of just rehashing the same stuff over and over again. The end of 2014 wasn’t kind to WWE, so maybe things are going to be looking up going into the new year. It’s better than Big Show dancing in a diaper at least…and then the Authority came back to make the last month plus Survivor Series totally meaningless. Well done WWE. You wasted the best story you’ve had all year to bring them back.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev wouldn’t stop stomping in the corner

Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Rack Attack

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Superfly Splash to Miz

Bad News Barrett b. Cesaro – Bullhammer

Luke Harper b. Jack Swagger – Discus lariat

Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Big Show interfered

Ascension b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Fall of Man to Mizdow

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – December 26, 2014: Oh Brother

Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2014
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole

It’s the show after Christmas which means that Hulk Hogan is still in charge tonight. All that means is he’ll make a match and say BROTHER a lot, but that’s at least better than some of the previous bosses this company has had. Other than that we’re still in the dull period before they start caring about the Rumble so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Hogan walking through the same Christmas set from Raw to open things up. I really wish they would mix those things up a bit more often. Anymore it’s just the same set from Raw but with blue as the main color. Switch things up a bit and make Smackdown feel more unique. Maybe they’ll do that when the show moves back to Thursdays.

Anyway, Hogan has something to tell us brother (1), he’s in charge tonight brother (2). We hear some of his fondest memories from being on Smackdown, including winning the Tag Team Titles with Edge, who will be hosting Raw with Christian on Monday. That’s another thing I wouldn’t mind seeing more of: plug those announcements. It’s simple and quick yet gets the word out there.

Hogan is about to go on but Rollins and the Stooges cut him off. Seth calls him a champion, a Hall of Famer and the embodiment of Wrestlemania. He asks for and receives a handshake before saying if Hogan keeps it up, they might start calling him the Seth Rollins of the 80s. Hogan may have been great, but he doesn’t belong in Rollins’ ring anymore. That’s a bit too far for our American hero, who says he’s running Smackdown tonight. Hogan: “So if you don’t mind brother (3)…” Rollins: “Well I do mind brother. AND DON’T YOU BROTHER ME!”

Seth talks about how great the Authority was for business but now they’ve been replaced by a sideshow act like Hogan. As the future of WWE, this is Seth’s business and he’d like Hulk to officially endorse him. After that, Hogan can get out of this ring because it’s almost 2015. Hulk isn’t sure Rollins is getting out of this ring alive if he keeps talking like that. He can think of several people who could lead this company into the future, like Dolph Ziggler for instance.

Cue Dolph, who calls Rollins the future. If you don’t believe that, just ask Seth because that’s all he talks about. Rollins says Ziggler just doesn’t get it. The future isn’t just a popularity contest and Rollins should just Curb Stomp him right in front of Hogan. How does that sound brother? Ziggler has been curb stomped before and keeps getting up, so what does Seth want to do about it brother?

Here’s Big Show to say that sometime you have to just use force, so now he’s going to come out here and knock out Hogan and Ziggler. This brings out Reigns who tells Show not to come through those ropes unless he wants to get hit in the mouth again, right in front of his wife and kids. Hogan makes the tag match main event and actually doesn’t drop a ninth brother (yes I counted) of the segment.

Kane vs. Ryback

Jobber entrance for Kane. We see Ryback sending Rusev running on Monday before things get going. Ryback fires off to start but runs into a boot to the…..shoulder I think to put him down. So Kane can’t even sell for ten seconds now? Cole crushes several dreams by confirming that Rose and the Bunny have split, partially due to the tombstones from Kane. Ryback grabs a spinebuster and loads up the Meat Hook but we’ve got Russians. He’s still able to escape the chokeslam though and hits the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 2:10. Now THAT is what Kane should be used for more often than not.

Rusev gets in the ring for a staredown but Kane comes back in to chokeslam Ryback, setting up the Accolade. I’m still not sure who wins this feud, even though it should be obvious. That’s always a good sign.

After a break, Hogan runs into the Russians to tell Rusev that the US Title is on the line tonight. Giving champions almost no notice to defend their titles is the American way you see, BROTHER. And SISTER!

Alicia Fox vs. Naomi

They start fast with Naomi nipping up, only to eat a kick to the face for two. More speedy kicks get two for Naomi as Miz is watching from the back. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alicia and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Naomi heads to the apron for a kind of Twist of Fate onto the top rope. Naomi gets tired of carrying Fox and kicks her in the head, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:18. She even throws in counting the pin along with the referee because she’s kind of awesome.

Rating: C. I’m so glad that Naomi is getting an actual story instead of the usual stuff we’ve been seeing with the Divas for years. She’s an athletic freak and, in a description I wish I had thought of, the female Shelton Benjamin. No one in the division can keep up with her and unfortunately it means that WWE doesn’t know what to do with her. It’s good to see that they’ve given her some kind of a story though, because far too often the Divas’ stories revolve around just wanting the title or some catty story that makes them all look ridiculous.

We recap the matches Hogan set up on Raw.

Jimmy and Naomi have a badly scripted conversation about Jimmy beating Miz later tonight.

R-Truth vs. Adam Rose

Rematch from Monday where the Bunny was beaten up by Rose after he lost to Truth. Therefore, Rose comes out sans Bunny and doesn’t even do the fall, waving the Rosebuds off instead. Rose is much more aggressive here and takes Truth into the corner for some mule kick stomping. A nice snap suplex gets two on Truth and we hit the chinlock.

Phillips tries to bring up the incident on Halloween where Truth said the Bunny was the star of the team to set up this mini feud. Since that’s doing his job and keeping up continuity, JBL just buries him in response, saying how stupid the whole thing is. Back up and Truth makes his comeback, only to be sent into the post to set up the Party Foul for the pin at 2:07. Rose actually plays a decent heel, but his in ring work is still average at best.

Here are Rusev and Lana for a chat before the title defense. It’s a short one this time, basically saying Rusev will crush anyone before he faces. Cue his opponent.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev

It’s kind of amazing how Ambrose keeps getting these major matches despite barely ever winning anything. They take turns stomping each other down in the corner to start until Dean ties him in the ropes for chops and the running dropkick. A suicide dive drops Rusev again and Dean grabs a jackknife cover of all things for two.

The fans chant USA as Rusev runs Dean over and drops rapid fire elbows ala Hulk Hogan back in the day. You would think that the Russian imitating an AMERICAN would satiate the fans chanting USA but it doesn’t quite work that way. A chinlock stays on even shorter than usual but Rusev ties him in the ropes and hits a running Vader clothesline to the back knocking him out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the champ holding a nerve hold before the fall away slam gets two. Ambrose actually escapes the Accolade attempt and avoids a charge, sending Rusev head first into the post. The Rebound Clothesline sets up the standing elbow (love that move) for two and Ambrose’s tongue is hanging out. They head outside with the champion going into the barricade, only to have Wyatt interfere for the DQ at 13:00.

Rating: C+. These matches are like a vacation: they’re fun while they last but you know you’re going to be disappointed by the ending. There was no doubt that it was going to end by countout or DQ because that’s how these things end in WWE. It’s a problem with how the company books its shows anymore but unfortunately it’s something you have to live with. As usual Dean looks good, but when was the last time he had a fall on a show that actually mattered? And no, Tribute to the Troops doesn’t matter.

Rusev leaves and Bray throws Dean over the timekeeper’s area, only to have Dean come up throwing chairs. About five are thrown into the ring and Bray bails as well. I have no idea where they’re going with this, but it’s modern WWE and a major gimmick match doesn’t end anything anymore.

Miz vs. Jimmy Uso

Cole plugs a new app where you’re a backstage assistant in WWE and solve problems which have nothing to do with anything happening in the ring. Levels include identifying a spot as fatty tissue, yelling at someone for not memorizing a script, trying to figure out what the heck the commentators are talking about and finding stronger ear plugs so HHH doesn’t hear the BORING chants.

Miz kicks him down to start but we get a quick chase scene around the ring. JBL, of course, is talking about fast food mascots. Jimmy can’t hit the running Umaga attack but eats a right hand from Jey. Naturally, that’s not a DQ. Back in and Miz begs off to offer more mainstream connections. The fans aren’t really happy with the match stopping for nearly a minute of Miz standing there with his hand out saying “come on let’s be Usos”, so Jimmy hits two superkicks and the Superfly Splash for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D. I’m liking the idea of the Usos having some singles matches. Of course it shouldn’t lead anywhere because splitting them up for singles runs would be a terrible idea, but I like that they’re not just doing the same tag match every week. Imagine that: trying something else to keep things fresh for the bigger shows. There’s so much in WWE that is going right but at the same time the big problems are just so wrong.

Ascension is coming next week.

Goldust looks at an electric orb and sees that the new year will be……something we don’t get to hear as the ball shocks him. Stardust comes in to say it’s going to be his year.

Seth Rollins/Big Show vs. Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler and Rollins get things going as Cole recaps Survivor Series gets an achievement for recapping Survivor Series for the 200th time. A quick hiptoss has Rollins down so it’s off to the power guys. Reigns can’t get things moving too fast thanks to a shoulder from Big Show. Like the masterful heel that he is, Rollins comes in when Roman is down to stomp away. Reigns is able to get back up though due to the power of wetter hair, allowing for the hot tag off to Ziggler.

The Stooges get involved, and somehow don’t get caught, by tripping up Ziggler as we take a break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock, only to be catapulted into the corner. The fans display their ventriloquism skills by chanting BIG SLOW without moving their mouths….or anything else for that matter. Reigns smiles at Show as the chant is getting annoying in a hurry. A few fans chant for Reigns but they’re quickly drowned out by BIG SLOW.

Show misses a charge and eats a Fameasser, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch and Seth nails the low superkick for two. The fans chant for Reigns (again with the ventriloquism) and he backdrops out of a buckle bomb attempt. The chokeslam doesn’t work either and Dolph levels Big Show with a superkick, setting up the spear for the pin.

Nah I’m kidding. You know Big Show isn’t going to get pinned when there’s some hotshot with a future to take the fall for him. Rollins sends both opponents to the floor and suicide dives Reigns. Back in and Ziggler breaks up the springboard knee, setting up the spear to Rollins for the pin at 13:13.

Rating: C. The match was your standard main event tag (with another bad ending but I guess that huge fall over Show is supposed to make Reigns) but the chants were the most interesting part. Of course they were piped in, but I find it interesting that they seem more interested in playing down Big Show than playing up Reigns.

They were similar to the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants: yeah they’re against Cena, but they’re not for his opponent. The chants made this sound like it was all about Big Show with the few Reigns chants only lasting a few seconds compared to the near minute of Show chants. I’m not sure what to make of that.

Overall Rating: C-. Yet another worthless episode of Smackdown with whichever main eventers we have on hand being thrown into a tag team main event. The Ryback vs. Rusev showdown still looks good, though I’m not sure they can stretch it out for another four weeks. Other than that, there really isn’t much to talk about here. It’s another basic episode of the same show they’ve done every Friday for weeks now and I get less and less enthusiastic about it every time. Oh wait Kane actually took a fall. He’s been getting a bit better about that.

Results

Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock

Naomi b. Alicia Fox – Split legged moonsault

Adam Rose b. R-Truth – Party Foul

Dean Ambrose b. Rusev via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Jimmy Uso b. The Miz – Superfly Splash

Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Spear to Rollins

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