Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2013 (2019 Redo): It Still Works

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Post match Cena hands him the title and leaves, likely straight to the hospital to get that thing out of his arm. The confetti falls and pyro goes off….and here’s Randy Orton with the other Money in the Bank briefcase, because we needed two of them. Orton does the big staredown, teases leaving, turns back around…and HHH lays Bryan out with the Pedigree to turn full heel.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

WWE Vault: Christmas Carnage: Like A Big Stocking (Includes Full Video)

Christmas Carnage
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Michael Hayes, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler

This is the Christmas week contribution from the WWE Vault and that could have some possibilities. WWE has often done something over Christmas and it should be interesting to see what they have brought out of mothballs. There are quite a few options here and some of them are worth a look so let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, December 22, 2006.

Batista is in the ring and Santa Claus comes out with gifts for the fans. Michael Cole even gets a Roddy Piper DVD and shirt (not shown, but that’s what someone with notes from Smackdown from 2006 are for)…but then Santa hits Batista in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long to give Santa a match with Batista.

Batista vs. Santa Claus

Batista’s World Title isn’t on the line and Long might not be the nicest guy to have Batista in the match when he’s already hurt. Santa goes after the bad arm and slams it into the apron for two. Batista drives him into the corner but charges into a boot to the bad arm. A backdrop (looked like a mistimed spinebuster) sets up a spear and the beard comes off to reveal…Sylvan. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish at 1:41.

From Superstars, December 23, 1995.

Xanta Klaus vs. Scott Taylor

Yeah this had to be here. Xanta is better known as Balls Mahoney, is from the South Pole, and likes to steal presents. Some hard forearms, a belly to back suplex, and a camel clutch finish for Xanta at 1:31. The match was so short that I didn’t have time to mention Xanta’s manager, Ted DiBiase, doing a split screen interview and promising that the Million Dollar Champion is coming. This was the only match for Xanta, because….well how much of a shelf life was he going to have?

From Monday Night Raw, December 20, 1999.

Mankind is not happy about having to face Santa Claus in a Boiler Room Brawl because he doesn’t want to have to punch the rosy cheeks or kick him in the stomach that shakes like a bowlful of jelly. Cue the Mean Street Posse to jump him and send him into the boiler room, which has him rather disturbed to officially start things off.

Mankind vs. Santa Claus

Santa is in fact in the boiler room and Mankind isn’t sure what to do about this. Santa doesn’t want to put Mankind on the bad list so Mankind offers to let Santa walk out and win in peace. That works for Santa but three other Santas jump Mankind. He’s fine with fighting them and finds a well placed garbage can and some frying pants (in their bag of toys).

The three of them are down but two more are waiting on him and these two happen to be the New Age Outlaws, who have some better luck. Mankind fights back against the two of them like he’s in Championship Mode in No Mercy (SOCKO!) and grabs a mirror, naturally singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire in the process. Another Santa knocks the mirror into his face to shatter it…and since it’s HHH, he tells Mankind to suck it and leaves to win at 3:34.

Rating: C. What in the world do you want me to say about this? It felt like some weird comic book scene with the collection of Santas coming at Mankind, who was almost fighting his nightmare scenario come to life. Like so much from this era, it wasn’t so much a match as a segment with brawling, but this did work for what it was supposed to be.

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2012.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

YES! This is the one I was hoping would be on here. Here we have a 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Santa vs. the Intellectual Santa of the Masses in a battle to save Christmas. The good one hits the bad one in the head to start and opens a package to find a toilet. Bad Santa goes face first into said toilet and they head outside, where the bad one finds a fire extinguisher….which doesn’t work.

The good one takes the pin out and sprays the bad one as commentary argues over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or Santa himself. The bad one finds a Singapore candy cane to beat on the good one and wreck the (awesome) Christmas decorations, which is just too far for the good one. They fight back to ringside, with the bad one taking a present to the back. The bad one STILL can’t get the fire extinguisher to work so the good one sprays him again, setting up the World’s Strongest Slam (which Cole dubs the Sleigh Ride) for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: A+. I’m a Christmas fanatic and I remember loving this match live. It still holds up today as they absolutely knew the assignment and had a comedy brawl which didn’t overstay its welcome. That’s exactly what wrestling should be at times and it worked very well, with Henry being lovable and Sandow being the snob. Great stuff.

Post match Henry pulls out some cupcakes (he approves) and slams them into Sandow’s face. JBL: “Jimmy Stewart is rolling over in his grave right now.”

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2019.

We’re near the streets of New York City, where Santa Claus sends R-Truth over to his sled and then jumps Akira Tozawa to win the 24/7 Title. Of note: Santa was played by future AEW star Bear Bronson.

From Wrestling Challenge, November 27, 1993.

Doink The Clown is brought out for an interview, where he is told that there can only be ONE Doink in the WWF. Apparently he has drawn the ire of Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon, but he doesn’t care because he loves Christmas. Cue Santa Claus to hug Doink, who started off badly but has gotten a lot better. His present is in the bag, and it’s……a mini Doink! Actually that won’t work, as there can only be ONE Doink….so we’ll just call him Dink! Yeah sure why not. Dink leaves in a wagon and Heenan hopes he goes to play on the interstate.

From a Superstars taping in what looks like late 1992.

We meet Santa’s helpers from the South Pole: a couple of guys who whack their arms around and call each other Cousin Luke and Cousin Butch. They seem to love Christmas and remember their mother singing them Christmas songs (if they’re cousins, why do they have the same…..never mind). The interviewer is licked and toys are dispensed to the fans.

From World Class Championship Wrestling, December 25, 1983.

Michael Hayes dresses up like Santa and jumps the Von Erichs after a tag match. Mike Von Erich gets piledriven.

Overall Rating: B. Again, I love it when they throw in a few curves here and there with some actual interesting moments. Rather than doing a bunch of lame stuff that doesn’t matter, they went with stuff that a lot of fans probably haven’t thought of in a long time and it makes these things so much more fun. I love the Henry vs. Sandow match and the Mankind deal was a nice flashback. This could have been a lot longer but at just shy of thirty minutes, it’s hard to get too annoyed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2012 (2023 Redo): I’m Not Usually Stunned

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

So this is another redo as for some reason I thought doing most of the shows that ended in a 2 was a good idea. This show had quite a few problems up and down the card but there is quite the special moment at the end that might be worth another look. Other than that, we have Team Punk vs. Team Foley, the latter of which has no Foley. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Team Co-Bro

That would be Heath Slater/Jinder Mahal (with the very skinny Drew McIntyre) vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder and this is quite the time capsule match. Ryder and Mahal start things off with Ryder snapping off an armdrag to take over. Marella comes in for an armdrag into an armbar to Slater and it’s right back to Ryder. McIntyre grabs Slater from the floor so he can avoid a dropkick but Ryder gets over to Santino for the hot tag.

Slater cuts that out rather quickly and the villains take over in the corner. A neckbreaker gives Mahal two and Slater grabs the chinlock. With that broken up, Santino backdrops his way out of trouble and hands it back to Ryder to clean house. The Broski Boot hits Mahal but Slater makes the save as everything breaks down. McIntyre gets in a cheap shot from the steps though and it’s a full nelson to give Mahal the pin at 6:12.

Rating: C. Not much to this one and that’s about how it should have been. These matches are designed to get the fans into the show and they kept it short and to the point. It’s not like Co-Bro was likely going anywhere and 3MB….well they were bigger than Co-Bro at least. Not exactly a good match, but it did its job well enough.

The opening video looks at the history of Survivor Series before shifting into a look at this year’s big stories.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, Tyson Kidd
Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match and there is nothing wrong with that. Kidd and Epico get things going with Epico fighting out of a headlock. Kidd’s jackknife rollup gets two as commentary ignores the match to talk about Jerry Lawler facing the Rock in his first match. Epico’s armdrag doesn’t get very far so Gabriel comes in for two off a moonsault. Rey comes in for a basement dropkick for two of his own but it’s off to Young as commentary remembers to talk about the match.

It’s off to Cara to take Primo down before running up the corner for a spinning high crossbody. A sunset bomb gets two on Primo but he’s back with a shot to the face, allowing the tag off to Tensai. It’s off to Titus, who awkwardly picks Cara up and holds him for a shot from Primo. An enziguri to Tensai finally gets Cara out of trouble and it’s Clay coming in to clean house. Primo and Epico are sent outside and we hit a parade of dives until we’re left with Clay vs. Tensai. Clay tries an exploder suplex but drops Tensai on his face instead. Back up and Tensai runs him over, setting up a running backsplash for the elimination at 8:25.

Gabriel comes back in and gets dropped, allowing Titus to come in for a weird looking abdominal stretch. Tensai comes back in and misses a backsplash, allowing Gabriel to roll him up for the pin at 10:20. Gabriel can’t follow up though and gets choked by Titus as the beating continues. Commentary talks about various famous debuts at Survivor Series and Epico grabs a chinlock. Gabriel gets up and hands it off to Kidd, who gets sent into the barricade as the crowd is almost eerily silent. Titus misses a running big boot though and Kidd rolls him up for the pin at 13:49.

Despite still winning, the good guys keep getting beaten up as Young jumps Kidd this time around. Kidd slips out of a belly to back suplex though and grabs the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico at 14:58. Cole: “One of Bret Hart’s relatives using his move to eliminate someone at the Survivor Series!” JBL: “I’m sure Bret will be mad about that too.”

Primo goes up but gets dropkicked out of the air, allowing the tag back to Mysterio. A kick to the head gets two on Primo and Rey knocks him off the top, setting up the missed 619. Primo’s Backstabber is blocked and Rey cradles him for the pin at 17:29. That leaves Young alone, meaning it’s a 619 to set up a parade of finishers, capped off by Rey’s top rope splash for the pin at 18:25.

Rating: C-. I like the idea of throwing a bunch of people on the show to get them some extra time, but could you make it a little more interesting? Things picked up a bit once Rey got in there and showed some fire, but the fifteen minutes leading up to that were mostly dull. While it’s not a bad match, it’s a good bit longer than it needed to be and mostly boring, which isn’t a good way to start a show.

Survivors: Rey Mysterio, Justin Gabriel, Sin Cara, Tyson Kidd

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring for her Divas Title match when (I believe) Aksana, in a blonde wig, jumps her. Champion Eve Torres comes in to say she hopes Kaitlyn is ok, so Kaitlyn shoves her down and says the same thing.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending and commentary actually DOES ITS JOB by explaining that Kaitlyn was attacked in the same way at Night Of Champions, resulting in Eve taking her place and winning the title. And now that a rather odd moment is cleared up, Kaitlyn throws the wig at Eve and we start fast. Kaitlyn pounds away on the mat and kicks her to the floor as commentary goes into the Raw vs. Smackdown (non) issues, with Cole having no idea what JBL is talking about.

Eve isn’t allowed to run through the crowd so she kicks away back inside. Choking in the corner has Kaitlyn in more trouble and Eve manages to add a regal style wave. A figure four necklock goes on as commentary compares Eve to Kate Middleton. Kaitlyn makes the rope and knocks her outside again, followed by a hard shoulder back inside. A gutbuster gives Kaitlyn two but Eve grabs the ring skirt and they crash out to the floor. Back in and Eve’s suplex neckbreaker retains at 6:59.

Rating: C. This was a weird period for the women’s division as they weren’t exactly good yet but they were so much better than they were at their worst that things are at least decent. Eve was one of the better stars of her era and Kaitlyn had enough fire to get people to want her to win the title. Not an awful match, and at least better than the previous one.

We look at the pre-show, where Alberto Del Rio called Dolph Ziggler his team captain, even though Ziggler will be eliminated fast. A team wide argument ensued.

Team Foley is arguing as well but believe it or not, Foley gives them a pep talk to calm them down. Eventually everyone but Randy Orton gets together for a BANG BANG. Orton to Foley: “I hate you.” Foley: “That means he’s ready.”

US Title: R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro is defending and before the match, mocks America for having anything to be thankful for this year. Well except for having him as the US Champion of course. We hear about various foreign US Champions, which has JBL annoyed that he wasn’t included. Cole: “Do you even listen to me?” Truth rolls him up for two to start and then punches at the wrist Cesaro holds up to avoid some right hands.

Cesaro knocks him into the corner and hits a kick to the head, followed by the armbar. With that broken up, Cesaro stomps him in the chest for two and we hit the waistlock. Commentary gets in a big argument about rugby as Truth fights up, gets waistlocked again, fights up and gets waistlocked again. Truth gets out (again) and hits a side kick, only to miss the ax kick. Cesaro uppercuts him and hits the Neutralizer to retain at 6:57.

Rating: C-. This didn’t exactly lift the show up off the ground as a good chunk of it was Cesaro holding him in a waistlock. Cesaro felt like a monster around this point and you could see what a lot of fans saw in him. At the same time, there was no reason to believe that Truth was going to take the title here and it showed pretty badly.

We recap Vickie Guerrero playing voicemails from AJ Lee where she was conflicted about her relationship with John Cena. Lee says they were edited together and Dolph Ziggler and Cena got involved as well. This Lee soap opera/melodrama felt like it went on forever.

Here is Lee, who has promised to reveal something about Vickie for a change. She has seen Vickie accusing her of having an inappropriate relationship with John Cena but thinks AJ is hiding something. Cue Vickie to yell about Lee, who produces a photo of Vickie and Ricardo Rodriguez sharing burritos. Then it’s Vickie and JR sharing barbecue sauce.

Vickie is livid and Lee thinks it’s because of her guilt. Next up: Vickie (in a leopard print swimsuit) dancing with Brodus Clay. They threaten each other but understand that they can’t hurt each other. Cue Tamina (looking almost unrecognizable compared to most of her career) to lay Lee out.

Paul Heyman isn’t worried about tonight’s main event and doesn’t like accusations that CM Punk has to cheat to win. While John Cena is chasing AJ Lee, Punk is the first man to beat Ryback. Punk is the best of the three and the best in the world.

We recap Sheamus challenging Big Show for the Smackdown World Title. Show beat him for the title last month and now Sheamus is back, with the battle over the Brogue Kick vs. the KO Punch. Show has also attacked Sheamus’ friend William Regal to make this even more personal.

SmackDown World Title: Big Show vs. Sheamus

Show is defending. Sheamus slugs away to start and tries to get Show to chase him in a smart move. That only works for so long though as Show hits a clothesline and chops away in the corner. A shot to the leg puts Show down though and Sheamus hammers away in the ropes. There are the forearms to the chest but Show bails outside before the Brogue Kick can connect.

Back in and Sheamus goes up, only to be speared out of the air in a nasty looking crash. Show slowly hammers away as commentary AGAIN talks about great moments in Survivor Series’ history. Sheamus gets sent hard into the buckle but manages to snap Show’s throat across the top. A single big boot cuts that off though and a big elbow gives Show two. We hit the quickly broken nerve hold before Show knocks him down for two more.

Sheamus comes back with a sleeper for a bit before slugging away, only to miss a charge into the post. Show loads up the Vader Bomb but Sheamus is up with an electric chair for two as the fans are WAY into this stuff. The KO Punch misses and Sheamus drops him with a running ax handle. White Noise gives Sheamus two but Show pulls the referee in the way of the Brogue Kick. Sheamus checks on the referee but Show is up with the KO Punch for the pin from another referee at 14:45.

Rating: B. This a was a fight and that is what it needed to be. It was in the Sting vs. Vader formula, with Sheamus slugging away at the giant and getting knocked back down again and again. The fans got behind Sheamus and wanted to see him take out the dragon and that is exactly the point of the match. Heck of a match here and by far the best thing on the show.

Post match the referee switches the result to a DQ. Sheamus is back up with a chair and UNLOADS on Show with about twenty shots. As Show begs off, Sheamus hits him with the Brogue Kick to leave him laying.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Ziggler: Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Damien Sandow
Foley: Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Miz

This match had so many lineup changes (injuries, other matches being changed) that it barely resembles what they were going for in the first place (Team Punk vs. Team Foley). Kingston rolls Otunga up for two at the bell and sends him outside as commentary keeps making legal jokes. Back in and Kofi starts in on the arm before handing it off to Danielson for more of the same. Otunga slams his way out of trouble and brings in Sandow (hopefully allowing Otunga to fix his trunks, which are out of place), who hits the Elbow of Disdain.

Danielson fights out of a chinlock and hits a running dropkick in the corner. The YES Kicks rock Sandow again as commentary talks about Mike Tyson (they are all over the place tonight and even Lawler calls JBL out on it here). Sandow tries to walk out but gets pulled back in by Kane, who hits a chokeslam to get rid of Sandow at 3:06. We pause for Kane and Bryan to argue though, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag on Kane for the elimination at 3:45.

Orton wins an argument with Miz over who gets to punch Ziggler, followed by a slingshot suplex for two. Kofi comes in for a heck of a monkey flip for two and it’s off to Barrett to miss a charge at Bryan in the corner. Del Rio gets in a cheap shot so Barrett can kick Bryan to the floor. Back in and Otunga gets to work on the arm but he stops to pose. That’s enough for the YES Lock to make Otunga tap at 7:09.

Del Rio comes in to kick away before Bryan sends him crashing out to the floor. Back in and Kofi strikes away at Del Rio, setting up the Boom Drop. Del Rio fights his way out of trouble though and hands it off to Barrett for a tilt-a-whirl slam. The Bull Hammer gets rid of Kofi at 9:41 and it’s 3-3.

Orton comes in to send Barrett into the corner but charges into a boot to the face. A suplex puts Barrett down and Bryan comes back in to kick away in the corner. The YES Kicks don’t work so well this time as Barrett clotheslines him out to the floor. Del Rio comes back in and fights out of the YES Lock, setting up the cross armbreaker for the tap at 12:36.

Miz comes in for the first time and actually takes over, allowing Orton to stomp on Del Rio for a change. That’s broken up as well and it’s back to Ziggler for the chinlock. Of course Orton knows just how to fight out of one of those and knocks Ziggler down for a breather. The hot(ish) tag brings Miz back in to unload on Barrett in the corner, setting up the running clothesline. The top rope ax handle staggers Barrett and, after escaping a pumphandle slam, Miz hits the Skull Crushing finale for the elimination at 16:03.

So that leaves us with Miz/Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio and Miz’s DDT gets two on Del Rio. Del Rio’s German suplex gets the same but Miz pulls him off the middle rope for a crash. Del Rio sends him right back into the corner though and hits a running enziguri to get rid of Miz at 17:13.

Orton comes in and gets distracted by Ziggler, allowing Del Rio to kick him down for two. That doesn’t last long as Orton is back up for the clothesline comeback, plus the powerslam. A Ricardo Rodriguez distraction lets Del Rio drop Orton for two more, leaving Foley to beat up Rodriguez. Ziggler has to break up an RKO attempt but dropkicks Del Rio by mistake, leaving Orton to send Ziggler into the post. The RKO drops Del Rio for the pin at 20:57 and we’re down to Orton vs. Ziggler.

Another RKO is blocked and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for two. The Fameasser misses and Orton plants him with the hanging DDT. There’s no cover though, as instead Orton loads up the Punt. As usual though it takes WAY too long, allowing Ziggler to hit a superkick for the final pin at 23:40.

Rating: B-. I don’t remember liking this one very much at first but that might have been due to all of the twists and turns to get to the match. Watching it back years later and….yeah it’s just kind of good. There is a bunch of star power and the wrestling is more than acceptable, but other than beating up Rodriguez, Foley added nothing here.

This is a match that feels like it could have been a lot better if they went with the original plan, but things got so twisted around and messed up that everything was lost in the switch. Not a bad match at all, but I felt like I needed a ten minute recap and a flow chart to figure out how we got here.

Fans want to see Rock vs. various people at the Royal Rumble. My goodness the nightmare days of Tout.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against John Cena and Ryback. Cena was supposed to get the title shot inside the Cell last month but was injured and gave Ryback the shot instead. Ryback got cheated by rogue referee Brad Maddox (who wanted to make a name for himself in a story that bombed rather badly) so tonight, Punk defends against both of them at once.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk, with Paul Heyman, is defending and oddly enough, comes out second. Cena chases Punk around on the floor to start until Ryback takes Cena’s place. Back in and Cena and Ryback get in an argument over who gets to beat up Punk in the corner. Ryback gets the better of things by driving Punk’s head into the mat over and over until Cena gives Punk a running bulldog. With Punk down on the floor, Cena and Ryback are left to escape finishers.

Punk is back in with a suplex on Ryback but Cena clears him out and suplexes Ryback as well for two. We hit the chinlock on Ryback until Punk is back in for the save to send Cena outside. Ryback goes back to the power and drives Punk into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Cena is back in and gets DDTed to give Punk two so we can get a breather. Ryback hits a running powerslam on Punk but gets ProtoBombed….and pops right up.

Cena drops Ryback again, only to have Punk pull him outside for a hard whip into the steps. Back in and Ryback beats on Punk for a change until Cena breaks up Shell Shock. The STF has Ryback in trouble but Punk makes the save with a top rope elbow. It’s Ryback up first and he tosses both of them to the floor for some big crashes. The not-Rybacks fight out of a double suplex and instead double suplex Ryback through the announcers’ table.

Back in and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but Punk breaks it up with the GTS for a rather close two. The AA gives Cena the same so Punk kicks away as we can hear the Spanish commentary in the background. Cena pulls him back into the STF but Ryback is back in for another save. There’s the Meat Hook to Punk, with Cole declaring that there is nothing stopping Ryback now.

Shell Shock connects but Cena breaks up the pin. That earns Cena his own Shell Shock…but three guys in black run in to jump Ryback. Cole recognizes them as Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins from NXT (ignore that Ambrose never wrestled on NXT TV) as theyput Ryback through a table. Punk pins the still out Cena to retain at 17:58.

Rating: B. This was the usual main event style triple threat match and that means it worked rather well. What matters here is having a way to keep the title on Punk and it certainly was a surprise way to do so. The interference came out of nowhere and that is the kind of finish that leaves a lot more going on for the future. Ryback losing again isn’t going to do much for his future, but Punk retaining is the bigger story as he gets a step closer to the showdown with Rock in January. Good main event here though, with all three working hard.

Replays take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. This starts out rather slow but the last three matches are more than enough to carry things over the line. The ending here is what matters more than anything else though as WWE gets a brand new main event crop of talent, which is not something you see every day. Punk seems like he is going to be losing when he faces Rock at the Rumble, but at least we are getting something fresh to keep things going. Good show here, though it could have used something better in the first hour or so.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Team Co-Bro

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
Redo: C-

Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
Redo: C

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
Redo: B

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
Redo: B-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
Redo: B-

I’m not usually stunned by my old ratings but WOW. This show might not have been great but it wasn’t that bad. Dang how miserable was I back then?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2019 Redo): One Of The Classics